#I couldn't decide which version of this I liked better so just have both

[saint-lily]

Senki Zesshou Symphogear, episode 6 // Senki Zesshou Symphogear GX, episode 9

[detshin]

"When the 20,000th song is sung from the historic tower whence it carries, the demon of light will fly from the east and strike the sinner in white, for whom the bell tolls disaster."

[plutoceanic]

Back on my bullshit

[azrielbrainrot]

Spoiled Rotten

Pairing: Azriel x F!Reader x Rhysand

Kinktober 2024: Double Penetration

Description: You've had Rhysand and Azriel one after the other multiple times, but you can only imagine how much better it will feel to have them at the same time.

Warnings: Smut, vaginal sex, anal sex, double penetration in different holes, cockwarming (kind of), fingering, slight dom/sub dynamics, some rhys x azriel, dirty talk

Word Count: ~2,7k

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Notes: This is sort of a continuation for All Over My Skin, but there's hardly any plot in either story so it's not necessary to read them both. Hope you enjoy!

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

“You're stalling.”

There's really no reason for you to be feeling so impatient when you were sitting on Rhysand's lap as he leaned back against the headboard, his cock tucked in deep inside you, his mouth littering your neck and shoulder with wet kisses, while Azriel kneeled behind you, his fingers stretching out your other hole gently. This was something right out of a wet dream, but these males had turned you into an insatiable version of yourself, one that could never get enough of them no matter how many times they fucked you. That's exactly what led to this situation in fact.

“We're not stalling.” Rhys kisses a path up to your ear, biting your earlobe softly, a warning not to be so impatient. “We're getting you ready.”

“I am ready,” you argue back, wrapping your arms around his neck thigher.

“That's not up for you to decide, darling,” he easily dismisses you, one of his hands moving down to hold your asscheek, spreading it further apart for his spymaster.

“It's not up to you either,” you taunt.

If someone were to stumble into this room, it would only take them a handful of seconds to understand Azriel was the one in charge, not the High Lord, not in this bed. Which is exactly why you focus your efforts on the other male - he was always a lot sweeter and more receptive to your begging anyway.

“Azriel,” you whine unashamedly, turning around to face him as best as you could. He simply chuckled, leaning closer, his chest coming into contact with your back, supporting you as you leaned back. “I promise I'm ready.”

“You promise?” He starts kissing your neck just like Rhys had been doing, biting a mark of his own onto your skin. You nod in confirmation, clenching around his fingers when he scissors them slowly, getting rewarded with a soft groan of approval. “I think you might be,” he mumbles against your jaw.

Looking down at Rhys, you can't help the triumphant smile from taking over your features, a familiar fire burning in his eyes in response. “You're lucky I enjoy fucking the attitude out of you so much,” he says, grinding into you ever so softly. Good thing you enjoy that thoroughly as well.

Azriel's fingers abandon you suddenly, his mouth following suit as he moves away from you completely. You almost feel cold when he does, leaning forward into the High Lord's arms, instinctively seeking his warmth instead. He welcomes you despite your bickering, caressing your back lovingly.

Even though this had been your idea and you had been more than insistent, now that it was about to happen you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. This wasn't the first time you had done anal, or even that Azriel or Rhys had fingered you like that, but Azriel was big, and taking either of them in your cunt always made you feel incredibly full. You might have bitten more than you could chew wanting to have them both like this.

It was also impossible to see behind you so every little noise left you wondering what was about to happen, the anticipation driving you crazy. Apparently that was easily remedied as Rhysand simply put his daemati abilities to good use and shared his view with you, showing the way Azriel coated his cock in that tonic of his that he also used when he was stretching you out. You drop a chaste kiss on his cheek, a small thanks for easing your nerves. He lets out a distracted hum in acknowledgement, too focused on the sight of Azriel fisting his cock as he stared at the way your cunt swallowed Rhys.

You can't help but tense up slightly when Azriel comes closer and reaches out to hold your hip, cursing yourself mentally. After insisting so much, you really didn't want to make them feel like you weren't ready or getting cold feet. You still wanted this more than anything. He simply leans down, dropping a soft kiss over your spine and mumbles against the skin, “I promise I'll take care of you, angel.”

Nodding, you lay onto Rhys' chest, who wraps his arms around you, and let them take the lead, focusing on taking deep breaths and letting the way they touch you relax your body, trusting they will make this amazing for you. The High Lord reaches between your bodies wordlessly, finding your clit and rolling it slowly around his thumb until you're melting into him, short puffs of breath hitting his heated skin.

The next time Azriel reaches for your hip, there's no room for hesitation or nerves as he thumbs at your hole before lining himself up properly, only a tremble passing through your body at the feeling, one that convinces him that you were ready.

“Need you to arch your back for me,” Azriel says, running a hand up your spine as you follow his command. “Just like that.”

A choked whimper escapes you as he manages to coax the thick head of his cock into you carefully. Knowing the adjustment you have to make just to fit him in your cunt, this almost feels surreal. He doesn't move for a while, letting you adjust as his hands fall on your sides, squeezing comfortingly.

“Let me see you, darling.” Rhys' voice breaks you out of your thoughts, abandoning the safe place you'd created for yourself in his neck, lifting yourself up on trembling arms so you could look up at his hauntingly beautiful face. He lets out a breathy chuckle, one strong hand coming up to hold your cheek as he takes notice of your half lidded eyes and the small pants escaping you, thumbing at your lower lip. “You look like such a pretty mess.”

No matter how much you love to argue with him, you can't even bring yourself to deny it. Everything felt too sensitive in that moment, and not only being stretched out in both holes but also the way his thumb kept abusing your clit were clouding your mind further into the abyss with each passing breath. He tilts his head as he watches the fight leave your eyes, a wicked smirk growing on his face.

“I wonder,” he starts, hand dropping to your thigh, “what will happen if I do this.” As soon as the words leave his mouth he pulls his hips back slightly and fucks his cock back into you, not giving you a chance to even prepare yourself. A gasp escapes you, nails biting into his shoulders as he repeats the motion, grinding into you.

“Slowly, Rhys,” Azriel warns behind you, taking advantage of your distraction to drive a bit more of his cock into you, letting out a groan of his own when he barely finds resistance, your tight walls fighting to accommodate him.

“She can take it. Can't you, darling?”

You felt close to insanity, the way they both stretched you out sending you to another realm of pleasure, hands grasping for Rhysand's face, bringing him into a messy kiss. He was right, you could take it, and despite feeling damn near overwhelmed between the both of them, you still wanted more.

A purr of approval echoes in your mind, the familiar sound making your toes curl, prompting yet another shaky moan past your parted lips. Need more? He speaks into your mind, biting your lip at the same time. Please. You would worry about how easy you had been reduced to begging another day, right now you were ready to do just about anything for them not to stop, and for Azriel to hurry. Tell him. Beg him to fuck your ass, nice and pretty.

“Azriel,” you breathe out, “I can take it.”

Rhysand's teeth sink harder into your lip, a light reprimand for not obeying him completely. It's not like you ever do, he can't be too surprised. He lets out a soft chuckle, kissing the corner of your mouth. Even if he wasn't privy to the mental conversation you were having without him, Azriel knew you both well and your body even better, he knew exactly what you needed.

“Keep moving,” he throws at Rhys, meeting his eyes over your shoulder. His grip tightening on you as his patience threatens to slip at the mere thought of finally fucking you. The High Lord follows his command obediently, both his hands grasping onto the sides of your thighs as he starts thrusting into you harder, hitting all the right spots.

It's a welcomed distraction, one Azriel is clearly counting on to keep moving inside you without a chance of hurting you, but the stimulation on your clit is missed immediately, prompting you to do it yourself, circling it between your fingers in time with Rhys' thrusts.

“Fuck. You're taking me so well,” Azriel lets out as he also starts grinding into you, thrusting his cock out slowly only to push it back in a bit deeper, repeating the motion a few times until he was completely seated inside you, stopping his motions to let you adjust, as your body trembled against theirs.

It was hard to wrap your head around what you were feeling. You had never felt so full, had never been so full, but Rhys doesn't give your mind a chance to linger, always wanting to see you absolutely wrecked. He starts fucking into you even harder, making you forget yourself.

An orgasm hits you unexpectedly a few thrusts in, after floating in calm waters for so long your body gives in at the first proper stimulation it receives. Your forehead falls on his shoulder, eyes rolling back, a choked moan escaping you, a scarred hand replacing yours against your clit intensifying the trembles running through your body as you arch into him and fall into darkness.

The fog doesn't disperse from your mind right away when you come down, barely registering the way Azriel wraps an arm around your waist, lifting you up until your back is up against his chest, the angle driving his cock even deeper inside, your legs still spasming softly as your hands move to hold onto Rhysand's waist.

“So fucking beautiful, all fucked out for us,” Rhysand praises, a purr in his chest as if he had been the one to cum. You can't do much but blink up at him, a shiver running down your spine at the hunger in his gaze. “Don't tell me you're already tired, darling.”

You swallow around a dry throat, trying to push past the haziness and find a good rebuttal for the High Lord's teasing when Azriel kisses your neck, stealing your attention and clouding your mind before you get the chance. The simple gesture sends a shudder down your body, making you clench around them, both males smirking around a moan at your reaction.

“Are you?” The shadowsinger whispers right into your ear, the teasing tone to his voice reminiscent of the menace watching the scene unfold in front of you. You shake your head in vehement denial. Azriel tuts, biting your earlobe. “Use your words, angel.”

“I’m not tired,” you rush to explain. “Still need you, need you both.”

“Want us to fuck you?”

“Wanna make you cum. Please.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Azriel is pushing you gently back down closer to Rhys, both males maneuvering you until they have a good enough angle and start thrusting into you in tandem, tentatively at first, trying not to overwhelm you too fast once again, though it's easier said than done, especially when you were still trembling on the edge.

Even as they pick up their pace, you can tell Azriel is holding himself back. He has fucked you enough times for you to know the way he moves and rolls his hips by heart. It's sweet, incredibly so, and it's on occasions like these that make you doubt you will be able to keep this relationship platonic, but right now you needed him to fuck you until you couldn't think straight.

Moving your hips back against them as best as you can, your hand finds his, murmuring between harsh breaths, “Harder.”

A single word sends them both moving frantically, a drawn out moan echoing around the room along with sounds of wet skin slapping together and mindless praises. When you asked them to do this, you hadn't stopped to think that this would also be their first time, and that they would be into it as much as you were.

In a mess of limbs and sweat, tucked in between their strong bodies, you feel a familiar knot low in your stomach tightening rapidly. You don't even get a chance to warn them when Rhysand beats you to it, a curse escaping him as he cums inside you, milking himself dry, hips never stopping. Even if you hadn't been unbearably close already, watching the High Lord lose control, holding your body closer as he spilled inside you, would have certainly sent you over the edge either way.

This time you have time to prepare for it, to bask in the pleasure without feeling like you'd been drowned. Though this doesn't make it any less intense, nothing with these two is ever anything less than intense. You see stars bursting behind your eyelids, incoherent words and gasped moans escaping your lips as you fall forward, trusting that they will hold you and coax as much pleasure from you as they can.

Rhysand kisses you as you're coming down, parting from your abused lips to watch you struggle to catch your breath. He had long since stopped moving inside you, but Azriel's thrusts still moved you along his cock enough for oversensitivity to start biting.

“Holding back, Az?” He asks, staring into hazel eyes, his hands moving to hold onto your asscheeks, assisting him, and giving him an even better view in the process.

Turning your head, you try to watch him as well, the handsome male throwing a stupidly gorgeous smile at you when he catches you looking. As irresistibly handsome as the shadowsinger always is, this had to be your favorite look on him. Azriel leans over you while you're too busy gawking at him, letting some of his weight fall on you and Rhys.

“Just wanted to watch you first,” he murmurs, dropping two messy kisses to your shoulder and another to your neck, speeding up his pace as he starts chasing his orgasm.

His gaze locks on Rhysand's once again, their eyes never straying from each other as his hips start faltering, getting closer. When the High Lord grabs the back of his neck and pulls him into a hungry kiss, you feel a shudder running through him, his thrusts turning short and harder as he cums inside you at last, filling you up just like Rhys had done. You can't help but let out a needy moan, not only at the feeling but also at the sight. You wonder if they'd let you watch them like they so often watch the other fuck you.

Rhysand breaks away from the kiss with a small laugh, blinding purple eyes finding yours. “I really need to teach you how to think quietly.”

Rolling your eyes, you simply drop a quick kiss to his lips when Azriel moves back, hands splaying over your ass, thumbs pushing the fat apart, taking one last look at both of their cocks nestled inside you, at how full you were.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, pulling out of you carefully and helping Rhys do the same, turning you around gently, allowing you to properly see him again. “Are you alright?”

“More than,” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him, hugging his body as close as possible. You just about start purring when you feel Rhysand's hands fall on his waist, holding you both in his embrace. You almost wished you could freeze time right then, and stay in that moment forever.

[alastor-simp]

Never Been Kissed💋 - Alastor x Female Reader

❥Summary: It gets revealed to everyone that you have never been kissed before ever, in your previous life and afterlife, and a certain deer demon takes interest in that

❥Tags: Alastor x Female Reader, Alastor x Reader, Never Been Kissed, First Kiss, Hazbin Hotel Fanfiction, Angel Is Your Bestie, Hint of Spice, Kissing, Al Becomes A Kissing Maniac

❥Notes: I love First Kiss stories so I wanted to do one with Alastor. Enjoy:) (Fanart credit to unakura on Twitter)

"That guy is smoking hot!! Denise is def gonna choose him." Angel said, as he was leaning against the pillow, face a bit flushed from the guys hotness. "Nah, he's too much of a tool. Besides Ray is a much better choice and he's much hotter." You argued back against Angel's comment. The both of you were watching a hell's version of a dating show, set in the Lust Ring of Hell. It was similar to the shows on Earth, just with demons and more sluttier plot. Everyone else was doing their own thing, Charlie and Vaggie were deciding what the next redemption lesson was, Sir Pentious and Niffty were baking in the kitchen, Husk was cleaning the bar glasses, and Alastor was sitting across from the both of you, reading his daily newspaper, chair facing a bit away from the TV due to his dislike of it.

The show continued on, the two pairs becoming a couple, which eventually lead to a hot make out session. Flustered, you turned your head away, raising your hand above your eyes to cover the scene in front of you. Angel took quick notice of your reaction, bolting out in laughter. "HAHA what's the matter with ya? Can't handle a little kissy kiss scene?" You shook your head no at his question, causing him to laugh more. "Seriously toots, you act like you never kissed before." Angel continued to laugh, his feet kicking up in the air. Lowering your hand, your face flushed red, super embarrassed. "I haven't." Unbeknownst to you, Alastors ears flicked a bit at what you said, eyes leaving the paper to gaze at you. Angel couldn't fully make out what you said because of his laughter, but he soon stopped, wiping the tears from his eyes. "What you say toots? I didn't catch that." Angel asked, inching closer towards you. Fingers twirling your hair, you slowly responded back to Angel, "I have never been kissed."

"WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?" Angels loud response, alerted the residents around him, half of them running into the lobby to see what was going on. Angel hands had grabbed your shoulders, shaking you like a maniac. "YOU'RE TELLING ME IN THE TIME YOU HAVE BEEN ALIVE AND IN HELL, NO HANDSOME SCHMUCK HAS EVER KISSED YOU BEFORE?!" Angel had fully stopped shaking you, which you were thankful for since you started to feel a bit sick. "No." The others had walked closer to where you were on the couch, except Al as he was still sitting on the chair, but his newspaper was closed, watching the scene in front of him with curious eyes. "OH MY SATAN!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! Angel's body began to lean against the couch, hands covering his eyes in disbelief.

Vaggie had slowly made her away over, a bit annoyed at Angel's reaction. "Hey, there's no need to get so work about a stupid kiss. Plenty of people have never been kissed before." Angel removed his hands from his face, glaring a bit at Vaggie. "That's not why I'm shocked. I'm shocked that someone hasn't taken one look at my best friend and thought "I wanna smooch them." Feels like a crime." Niffty, being her quick self, had run up on the couch, hands placed on your cheeks, crazed eye starring at you. "How come you never gotten kissed before? Saving yourself for the ultimate bad boy? It felt like a million eyes were watching you right now, making you extremely shy - your body wanting to escape from this awkward situation. "Look I- I don't um...."

Sensing your discomfort, Charlie had walked over, grabbing Niffty softly, setting her down on the floor. "Okayyyyyy lets change the subject alright. I have a brand new idea for all of us to try, now if you will all follow me." You were grateful to Charlie that she was trying to stir the whole topic to something else. Angel appeared apologetic, patting your head, mouthing an apology, before he got up, walking over to join Charlie and the others. You, however, weren't in the mood to join them, deciding it be better to just go to your room. As you got up and walked away, you didn't notice the crimson glowing eyes watching you, as you began to head up to your room.

***Your Bedroom***

Heaving a sigh, you carried yourself over to the bed, flopping on to it, face hitting the soft pillow. Grabbing the covers, you pulled them over yourself, wanting to hide from the world. The whole lobby situation was still playing in your mind, making you groan. Hand reaching for your other pillow, you placed it against you, hugging it tightly. You decided it be better to just sleep off what just happened, placing your face further into the pillow you were hugging, closing your eyes. A soft tapping sensation was hitting your head, but you chose to ignore it. The sensation continued, which caused you to open your eyes. Moving the cover, your eyes peaked out to see Alastor, sitting on your bed, smiling down at you. "Ahh, she finally reveals herself! Hello, my dear!" He said with astounding enthusiasm, making you groan more. "Leave me alone Alastor please." The cover returned to your head, blocking your face from Alastor again. "Now now, don't hide yourself away from me. I merely wanted to spark up a conversation with you." His clawed hand gripped at your cover, pulling it away from you, revealing yourself to him again.

Debating whether to grab the sheet again, you chose not to, unless you wanted to anger him. Slowly getting up, you looked at Al, wearing an annoyed expression. "Okay, what do you want to talk about?" Widening his smile, Alastor leaned on his side on the bed, hand placed against his cheek, "From what the effeminate spider yelled out in the lobby, you have never been kissed before, correct?" Your eyes widen at him. Seriously? He was bringing this up again?! Heaving a sigh, you nodded your head, cheeks becoming aflamed. The embarrassment radiating off of you, brought massive satisfaction to him, his smile stretching to the point it could break his face. "I don't indulge in topics of conversation like this, but this one had peaked my curiosity. So enlighten me, my dear, why haven't you kissed anyone?"

"He's messing with me", was your first thought when he asked you this, but reading his expression more closely, you realized he was being serious with his question. Turning away, hands fiddling together, you tried to answer him, "I don't have a clear answer for that. I guess what Niffty said is kinda true. Waiting for the right person...I guess." Silence filled the air after you gave your answer, only thing you could hear was the soft sounds of static from Al. "You were expecting the classic fairytale, finding your one true love kiss, I presume? His tone mocked you, making you a bit angry that he was finding amusement in this. "Yeah that's exactly it, now that I have answered your question, can you please leave me alone?" Grabbing the cover that Alastor had pulled away from you, covering your body and face, you fell on your side to the bed, facing away from him.

Static chuckling came from next to you, as you stayed under the covers, refusing to come out. "If it's something you desire, I will be willing to grant it." He spoke so calmly like he didn't just say the most shocking thing ever. Popping your head out of the cover, you craned your neck towards him, giving him an "Are you serious" look. "Yeah right. You're just joking with me." Laughing at what he said, you turned away, resuming to stay inside your blanket. A rush of wind could be heard next to you, and before you knew it, Alastor was inside the cover with you, body hovering above you, hands placed on the sides of the bed "Who's joking?" He spoke, no hint of static in his voice, as his crimson eyes gazed down at you, lips in a smirk. Jumping at his position being on top of you, your mouth became unable to form words. Was he serious? He wanted to kiss you? "Is it okay if I ask why?" You spoke softly at him, waiting to hear what he had to say.

Alastor appeared a bit put off by your question, for he himself, was a bit befuddled as to why he wanted to kiss you. His eyes gazed up, thinking hard about it. "I've roamed hell for many years, having no interest in acts of affection or romance. Many suitors often came my way, but I broke their hearts, or ate them HAHAHAHA!" His eyes flashed into dials for a second as his head went back from his uproar of laughter. Eyes continued to stare at him as he slowly calmed down from his laughing fit, face taking on a more serious tone, despite the smile still remaining on his face, “However! There were times I wondered what it would be like to take part in acts like this." The radio filter left his voice, as gloved fingers gripped your chin, thumb tracing your bottom lip, softly.

Your face was probably was red as his hair right now, as your brain was still trying to process what he was saying. Your eyes continued to stare up at Al, who continued to smile, eyes filled with softness, for once. "Is...are you comfortable doing this?" You quietly asked, palms feeling sweaty from how nervous you were. His head tilted with a crack, once again, confused by your question. "I'm worried that doing this is overstepping your boundaries. What if I am a bad kisser or have bad breath, what if I-" A boisterous laugh erupted from Al, shaking the bed, as the both of you were still covered in the tent-like blanket. "My sweet darling, there is no need to worry about trivial things like that. As for my boundaries, I am the one that is initiating this, so once again, no need to worry."

His wide smile had dropped into a gentle one, fingers still caressing your lip, before moving to your cheek. You bit your lips a bit, before opening them slowly, "Okay." Ears twitched at your answer, crimson eyes filled with a hint of desire plus hesitance, as he bent down a bit, face coming closer to yours. The beating of your heart was so loud, you could hear it in your ears, and you were certain Al could hear it too. The scent of his cologne was making you dizzy- mixed with hints of blood and graveyard dirt. Reflections were seen in both of your eyes, him seeing himself and you seeing yourself. His lips continued to move closer, inch by inch, until they were placed onto yours, soft almost like a butterfly had landed on it.

The glow from his eyes had vanished, closing them as he pushed a bit further into the kiss, making you gasp a bit. A few minutes has passed, as Alastor slowly pulled away, glowing eyes returning to admire you. You felt breathless, despite how tender the kiss was, it had you weak. “Did you enjoy it?” He asked, his lips distracting you, making you forget his question. “Huh? Um..yes…it…was…nice. How about you?” You ask as if out of breath, heart fluttering still. “Surprisingly pleasing.” He said matter-of-factly, but judging from his appearance, he looked more disheveled than you.

No one uttered a word after that, the both of you continuing to stare at each other. “May I do it again?” He whispered, causing goosebumps to form all over you. You nodded, answering his question. His lips returned again, this time with more passion. The gasp you let out allowed his tongue to enter, intensifying the kiss. The weight of his body was on you now, his chest against yours, feeling his racing heart. His teeth bit your lip slightly, drawing some blood, making him hum at the taste as his tongue continued to intertwine with yours. Moaning into the kiss, you wrapped your arms around his back, pulling him closer. The both of you broke the kiss, string of saliva appearing from both of your mouths. Heavy breaths could be heard, as glazed eyes stared down at you, ashen cheeks flushed. "Again." was said from him, lips returning back to you again, and again and again.

-END-

Sinners:

@alastorsgoldie @91062854-ka , @delectableworm , @iiotic

@cookiekyo , @demoarah , @danveration , @beebsbea ,

@veethewriter , @forbidden-sunlight , @pinkcrystal44 , @luujjvi ,

@unholycheesesnack , @saturnhas82moons , @jyoongim ,

@aceofcards0-0 , @ghostdoodlen , @yourdoorisunlocked ,

@starshipcookie , @ainsliemac , @aria-tempest , @nobuharashinyao

, @sweet06tart , @blakedbeanss , @ihyperfixatedagain , @ktssstuff ,

@yakultt-art , @mooniee123 , @nightmarenaya , @darischerry ,

@sadnessiscoldtea , @alastorssimp , @imacollasaltitan ,

@dilucragnvindr-my-beloved , @batmanmonstarr , @felice-jaganshi ,

@justchillaine , @crazed-flower , @ohmylovewhereartthou-blog ,

@akiooshizuka , @lokis-imaginary-friend ,

@themysteriousslenderman , @huntlowfan , @futureittomainn ,

@christinaatyourservice92 , , @just-trash-yeah-thats-it ,

@angelinevalentine89 , @yunimimii , @staryosh1 ,

@mihawksdemoness , @crystalreads , @blahblahbruhmeow ,

@madam-strawberryrose , @inkslayer , @azazel-nyx , @lixanjewel ,

@artemisandhunters , @thereeallink , @ask-theradio-demon ,

@lousypotatoes @l4zyb0n35 , @midorichoco

@lillyisfreakyy , @alastorthirsty , @yukiinee ,

, @aconstructofamind @angiiiiiiiiie

@pumppkinlynn @erikaafernns , @silverpaw2 ,

@cosmiccandydreamer , @killer-nightmare0 , @visara-valentina

@thereallsaturnstar , @coffee-or-hot-cocoa ,

@fckedupandbeautiful , @alaskathestereodemoness , @fries11 ,

@toneystank-3000. , @doll-babe-a-tron-queenthousand

, @alastor-the-radio-demons-blog , @twistedvanillacoffee

[really-burnt-toast]

Redesigning my COTL cast pt.1

HAHA I'm finally done! I only made busts tho bc Im lazy and Im not putting myself through drawing a size chart... YET.

It WILL come, just so I can show pretty outfits and show how ridiculous Leshy's hight is LOL

If you see any spelling mistakes, please ignore them <3

(more info and rambling under cut)

Here I'll write some more things relating to each character;

Lamb

Born in Darkwood to a single mother, their mom had named them Mellia after the flowers that grow there, since they had aided in striving off an illness she had during the pregnancy.

The Lamb grew up pretty happily despite being on the run. Their mother was eventually caught whilst they made an escape. During their years of hiding, they broke their leg during one particularly risky escape and were caught not long after.

Their number is 1.600.666 because I keep making a connection between Darkwood and Germany's Schwartzwald - there are 1.6 million sheep in Germany - so I decided to have that be the approximate number. 666 was just added for fun.

Their ear was tagged to keep track of how many sheep were caught in which realm. They just so happened to be the last to be executed. By mere coincidence.

They were born without horns and kinda made the crown shape into a set. It has the benefit that they can rip em off and use them as impromptu weapons.

Due to centuries of being treated as a tool for a prophecy and merely a vessel, their self esteem is downright horrid. Whilst they don't condone followers speaking ill of them, they pretty much let Narinder trample on their feelings up until they had snapped one day. In the end it did help them both, but it wasn't great it had to be taken to that point.

Extra: I added the vitiligo because when I imagine a human version, I couldn't help but see them as having Vitiligo. Their leg limp was made after I thought it would make them look more imposing seeing someone "weak" suddenly pull out a giant hammer.

Narinder

Found within a burning village under rubble, clutching a crown as war raged around them. He was found by Shamura and taken in.

He was the first to create resurrection and back then it was an EXTREMELY taxing ritual. It would require his own godly flesh to beckon people back to life - thus it would literally cause his skin and flesh to melt off his bones. Now that's not needed anymore but his body is still weak to it, meaning during certain stress factors, he can still become skeletal. He doesn't have scarring from it, but gained some cool markings.

He was bound by his arms, torso and neck - all of which are scarred. In the afterlife he was perpetually sitting, causing him to be paralyzed from the waist down. Once he was usurped he had to regain his ability to walk and was taken care of by the Lamb.

He was in a catatonic state for many years and it only got better gradually with many setbacks. For years he never left the bed and by the time his Siblings had been rescued, he had barely started going outside. He was also suffering from chronic pains which wasn't really helpful.

He's also very... Temperamental. It took him just as long to say anything nice to the Lamb and it took him extra long to see them as more than his vessel.

Extra: I changed his markings to be more like I had imagined them. The catatonic trait and chronic pain was added after the update and I remember how horrible it was having tendonitis and I wanted to channel my distaste into Narinder.

Shamura

Found and raised by the last gods, they weren't the greatest sibling. They may have taken in the others but it took them a long time to be anything other than cold. With Kallamar, Shamura was distant and strict - then with Narinder they attempted to be less harsh after the kid started crying himself to sleep. With Heket and Leshy they got less and less cold. They tried their best, they'd argue.

They got carried away by their feelings as they had feared at the start and that's when the first prophecy came to them. They had kept it hidden for way too long until the balance of the crown's powers were ripping at the seams due to Narinder's pursuit in power - and they made a decision. They had told Kallamar first. Then Heket and Leshy were brought in.

Stuff happened. Now they are barely coherent and at most have an hour or two at a time where they seem to make sense. Leshy stays with them the most. Kallamar takes care of them. Heket takes care of the rest. Their skull is caved in, they lost an eye and limbs - some of the damages can't be hidden by bandages.

There's also this thing that their crown keeps getting out of control whilst trying to keep their mind stable - sometimes they'll get startled - attempt to form a weapon and instead end up with their arm speared through. They have scarring all over their body from it.

Upon recruitment they are pretty overwhelmed. Their crown can't stop them from breaking anymore and they have gotten so used to godhood that mortality now feels like they are literally rotting alive. They can feel their body wasting away.

Only after getting their relic back do they start becoming more independent and stable. They nowadays go through some sort of rehab to try and regain their sense of self.

Extra: Not much was added. I wanted to give them Glasses but I can't for the life of me draw them with a pair... So Ill just say they have them but not show them LOL

Kallamar

His past is basically forgotten. It sorta slipped away since he hadn't deemed it fit to be remembered. At first he had MANY fights with Shamura, then it ceased after a confrontation turned violent which left him with a bad scar.

He had to take care of his younger siblings whilst coming to terms with godhood - filling in whenever Shamura wasn't physically or mostly emotionally unavailable. For a long time he was the only one that could comfort his ailing siblings. Dealing with that sort of made him pretty easily agitated.

When Shamura proposed the plan, he had been hesitant - but ultimately didn't say anything.

Now he takes care of his siblings medically. He hates himself more than he hates anyone else and as much as he is quick to condemn and betray Shamura - he is also quick to condemn himself. Though maybe not as enthusiastically or openly.

He likes to compensate. Giving gifts to request forgiveness - grand displays of favoritism or mainly decking himself and his multiple spouses out with Jewels. He still keeps his wedding rings around his neck and his earring references his siblings.

Funnily enough, he caused the least troubles to the Lamb. They could argue he even seemed relieved after a short while of staying in the cult.

Extra: Added Jewelry and two tentacles because he looked naked without them.

Heket

Loudmouth frog that when found with her crown, she started trying to fight Shamura - insulting whatever parent they had. She kept threatening to poison them too.

In the lineup of her siblings, she was often the one who took the sidelines. If she was happy, she was left alone. If she was displeased, she'd let herself known. The most uncomplicated of the siblings.

You'd almost miss how every other bishop would seek her out when help was needed. While Shamura helped with godhood and Kallamar with emotional needs - Heket was a good person to pester with anything else. She'd handle it - just let big sis do it. Even if she was the second youngest - it's funny how even Kallamar and Narinder would occasionally use the nickname.

Then when everyone else was dealing with their wounds, she picked up the pace and kept their respective cults from falling apart. She handled Silk cradle until Shamura could - helped with Darkwood and took over Anchordeep when Kallamar was tending to the others. No problem.

She was still loud when entering the cult. Not as much as her brother - but she loved to cause scenes. Her muteness didn't seem to hinder her at all with that. She's not allowed near knives but somehow can handle axes?

Her temper problems don't get better. She just stops being an asshole about it.

She prefers having scarfs covering her neck bandages whilst they're all bloody and disgusting.

Extra: Nothing because Heket is already perfect.

Leshy

Literally a weird insect that kept clinging to the crown until it grew big enough to hold in one hand. It bit anything that got close and by the time Shamura found it - he had started eating small critters.

And god, he kept growing and growing until he wasn't a small worm in Shamura's hand but literally too big to fit through most doors. They suspected he'd grow until the end of time. Or well, now since his crown is gone.

He never listens. He screams for fun and overshares the worst details to the point he manages to break his siblings into just accepting anything he talks about. They can't even scold him or punish him since Leshy always finds a way to make things worse for anyone else but himself.

He also copies everyone. First it was Heket's tone. Then it was Narinder's behavior - now he started growing flowers and vine braids to make fun of Kallamar and his antlers were at first a crude mimic of Shamura's pedipalps and now they grow vines to be similar to the jewels hanging from them. He refuses to acknowledge doing so.

He's very clingy. After locking away Narinder, he stayed with Shamura every day until they were out of bed rest. He follows his siblings around and when he does give them a second to breathe - hes probably laying around in Darkwood instead of doing anything productive. He does tends to plants occasionally, but he prefers "to let chaos do its thing" - as if that means anything.

He makes for a great gardener after he stopped trying to break everything upon recruitment. And once he got over growling at every living thing - he actually became one of the most well liked people living there.

Leshy knows exactly what someone needs and somehow finds a way to achieve that with the littlest of efforts. It's the thought that counts.

Extra: Braid and vines because I thought Leshy would look cute with it.

Special: The 4 bishops all wear old faith themed robes, but Shamura got the elder clothes for comfort and Leshy kept tearing his clothes apart so he is not permanently excluded from having any special outfits as punishment. Narinder wears fancy robes (who happen to be loose and warm while being special - otherwise he'd complain)

The Lamb wears one of the leaked fleeces since I loved the red riding hood aesthetic.

In the end this turned more into biographies than actual explanations but its 3:30am, Im sleep deprived and I wanted to get my thoughts out because I start having memory problems again YIPPEE

[lovehurtsandilikeitthatway]

Nightmares

Male Yandere x Reader

Hi everyone!! This my first ever time posting my writing on here, so I'm a little nervous- English isn't my first language so sorry if there are some grammar/spelling mistakes or anything like that 😭 Please know that I don't support any kind of "yandere" behaviour irl and if you have any person like that in your life, make sure to distance yourself from them and stay safe 🙏 I tried not to romanticise the yandere-ish in this either so I hope it doesn't come off that way.

WARNINGS‼️: Yandere behaviour, cursing, abuse, needles, mentions of panic attacks, drugs, kidnapping, manipulation, noncon touching/kissing (nothing nsfw), blood, biting, knives, death

Four years. It had been exactly four years ever since you managed to escape the hellhole that was your abusive boyfriend's apartment. Four years since you left Japan too; as you wanted to make sure he'd never find you again. Now you lived in London as a librarian, in a small run-of-the-mill apartment all by yourself. It was a quiet life; but you liked it that way. You had to change your name to make sure he couldn't get to you, and thus you couldn't have much contact with your family and friends still in Japan. It hurt you, knowing that you were so far apart from them, but it was much better than being stuck in that place with no way out.

Of course; it had started out like any other relationship. You were both in university; he was a business major and quite popular, as his parents owned a well known company which he was bound to inherit. But his riches weren't the only thing that made him popular. He was also known for being very charismatic with a large social circle, having near flawless grades and (amongst the female school body, mainly) being fairly handsome on top of all that too. You'd be a liar to say you didn't have a bit of a crush on him at first too; but it was very similar to a celebrity crush. He was unobtainable and you had created an ideal version of him in your head; so you could fantasize yourself going on a date with him or some other crush of yours from time to time for the funsies. You thought that would be all he'd ever be to you; but boy were you wrong.

Surprisingly, you met at a house party. The host was a friend of a friend; and you were basically convinced to go by your friend group despite being hesitant. It turned out that, just as you suspected, the party wasn't really your vibe; but your friends were having fun. So you decided to go hangout in the backyard by yourself until another friend of yours had to go, so you didn't feel awkward being the first in the friend group to leave. Surprise surprise, he was there too. You two ended up striking conversation; and he sheepishly confessed that he didn't really like the party either, but had to stay because the "friend of a friend" was actually a close friend of his. So you pretty much spent the entire party talking with eachother; and the ideal version you had made up of him in your mind was gone by the time it was over. Not in a bad way. You guys had a lot of things in common after all; and he also had his flaws, just like you. He was no longer the popular mr.perfect guy you thought he was; and it was rather attractive.

You became friends; and your friendship soon blossomed into much more. He was a good boyfriend at the start. Dates, flowers, heartfelt conversations, mutual love and respect. You know, all the very basic factors of any healthy, loving relationship. Within a year into the relationship, though, things began to...change for the worst. He'd grow paranoid whenever you went out with friends without him; he kept pestering you about moving in with him even though you weren't ready for something like that yet.... You had mentioned multiple times in the past that you were skeptical about marriage, kids, all that mambo jambo. Still, he'd often bring up how he wanted to get married and have a family with you. It was kinda sweet, at first. You understood that it came from a place of love; but the affection smothering and how controlling he was slowly becoming grew far too much.

The straw that broke the camel's back? He proposed. On your "a year and a half anniversary" date, he got down on one knee and proposed. You were very taken aback; and the fact he wanted to marry you and start a whole life with you was again very touching in theory, but not so much when all the times you two had this very conversation came in mind. All the times you expressed how you weren't sure and needed more time; and he seemingly understood and accepted that just to pull something like this on your anniversary. You explained your side, yet again, and he wasn't pleased. An argument broke out; and it got bad. By the end, you told him that if what you both wanted didn't match up; this wouldn't work. You tried walking out. Again, he wasn't pleased.

And what did he do? Oh, just smashed a bottle of wine on the back of your head.

It was a miracle you didn't die; but you did pass out. And what followed after was the most hellish year of your life. Your dear boyfriend turned kidnapper basically lied to every single person in your life; saying you had decided to drop out of uni to move in with him and start a family. And because his family was very influential, with many connections, and also because he had such a prestige reputation, no one batted an eye. Your family did, of course; they knew you best. But why would such a kindhearted, hardworking honour student from a good family ever lie?

He spent a year trying to brainwash you into giving in; brainwashing you into giving him the perfect life he wanted, with a stay-at-home partner and children and everything, not allowing you to get out of the apartment or as much as breathe without him supervising. Nevermind that you were screaming your lungs out, begging him to let you go home and reminding him how much of a monster he was despite the gentleman-like façade he'd put not only in front of others, but also in front of you.

Eventually, after many failed attempts, you managed to bust the cameras in his apartment and pick the lock while he was out. You stole just enough money to get you an one way ticket to whatever place was available and also got back your phone; only being able to part with your friends and family via text messages and calls. Going to the police was out of the question. Why? Cause you had tried that in the past; and it didn't end well for you. The police weren't going to help; the only one who could protect you was yourself.

You didn't like thinking about it; the year you had spent in his apartment. Your therapist had advised you to stop living in the past and focus on the present; but it was so hard to try and put all that trauma behind you. Everytime you had to go outside you'd always look over your back; afraid you'd see him again. Afraid he'd somehow find you and make you pay for leaving him before dragging you right back. Sometimes you'd even think you caught glimpse of him across the street; causing you to have a mini panic attack. It was never fun. You hated it. You hated the fact that even though you managed to escape him; it felt like he came along with you.

Nevertheless, you tried to continue living. You met new people at the library, became friends with a sweet old lady from your apartment building, even started writing your very own book as a hobby, which you always wanted! You were doing well for yourself. You were slowly able to pick the pieces that had broken off of you; and you were proud of it. You were proud of managing to wake up everyday, making sure to eat, get to work, go through the work day- and reach the end of said workday. Just like you did today.

Work had ended for today. You said goodbye to your co-workers and began working home; fantasising about crashing onto your couch and staying there for the rest of the evening. It had been quite the tiring day and all you wanted to do was just get home, put on a random TV channel and maybe take a nap. Eventually, you reached your apartment complex. You lived on the first floor; so thankfully you didn't have to climb any stairs. Soon, you were standing right outside your front door. Your hands reached into your shoulder bag and pulled out your house key, inserting it into the keyhole in order to unlock the door.

However, the door was already unlocked.

Your blood immediately went cold; hand still on the key as you stared at the door with wide eyes. There was no way it could be him, right? If he hadn't found you in four years now, what could possibly lead him to you? Your heart began racing; breathing already getting heavy. You were panting, you just realised. You could hear your own heartbeat echo in your ears. Were you on the verge of another panic attack? Closing your eyes tight, you tried to take a deep breath and compose yourself; focusing on your environment instead of your ever growing panic, as your therapist had instructed you to do at moments like this one. The way the handle's metal felt cold against your grip, bird chirping from a nearby window, the sound of the elevator going down; most likely for the old lady you had befriended, as this was the time she'd usually get home from feeding the stray dogs in the neighborhood. She was so sweet.

Let's think rationally: you were far away from Japan, you had changed your name as well as your appearance (as much as you could force yourself to) and you had managed to maintain this quiet life of yours for four whole years. In those four years; you had received no calls or messages from him either, because you of course also had to change your number, email and delete any social media you had just to be sure. All that being said; the door was open when it was not supposed to- and then it hit you; did you actually lock the door this morning? Even though you were extremely paranoid; there had been an instance or two of you forgetting to lock the door before leaving for work, usually when you were feeling extra tired or stressed. Even four years later; sleeping didn't come easy to you. You started having sleep paralysis quite often, but instead of feeling like someone was pushing onto your chest hard, there was the suffocating sensation of his hands wrapped around your waist so tight that you'd think your organs would pop out any second.

Admitting that you're a complete idiot isn't easy; but you'd take it any day over the possibly of him somehow having gotten into your apartment. So, with the mentality of a broke middle aged man taking the risk of one last gamble in order to hit the jackpot, you decided to put your fears aside and push the door forward so you could get home.

Because, guess what? You were so sick of this.

Sick of living in fear, of having panic attacks every other day and jumping like a terrified kitten whenever you see a man who slightly resembles him pass by you. Sick of not being able to close your eyes every night because instead of the back of your eyelids, all you see is each and every time he'd touch you like he owned you.

And now that he didn't 'own you' any longer, your trauma did. And he was technically the personification of your trauma. He still owned you.

Fuck him. Fuck this. All of this. You just wanted to lay down and sleep like a normal person. Talk to your friends like a normal person. Sometimes you'd forget that you were actually that: normal and a person, since he had spent an entire year making you think otherwise. So no; you weren't going to let your fear control you and remain standing outside your apartment after an exhausting work day. You weren't going to deprive yourself of the basic right and necessities everyone else had.

You were now inside the apartment. Your small, cluttered apartment that had only one bedroom; a bathroom that could only fit a shower rather than a bathtub and a living room that was connected to the kitchen, all in the very same space. You immediately took off your shoes, locked the door behind you and hung your shoulder bag on one of the two chairs you had at the kitchen table before basically collapsing onto the couch, not caring to change into something more comfortable just yet. Your clothes weren't all that uncomfortable, actually. You didn't have much energy this morning; so you had worn a more casual, comfy outfit, not putting much thought into it. It was an outfit that you could easily sleep in no problem; which you started to realise when you began feeling yourself already drifting to sleep. Deep inside, you knew that there were other things that probably had priority; like taking a shower or making dinner but....did they really? You could do all that after taking a nap. You hadn't been able to sleep a full eight hours without waking up every hour or so for awhile now anyway. The moment you wake up, you'd get to all those important tasks that were needed for you to continue functioning- but it had been the first time that sleep sought you out rather than you taking sleep medication in weeks, and you weren't going to waste such a rare act of mercy by your system. Within a few minutes, you were out like a light.

“Look at you, all curled up in the couch....Is it that much better than the king sized bed we'd share?”

A voice called out to you. You couldn't make whose voice, however. You were still pretty much out of it; half asleep. You didn't even know what day it was, much less where or who that voice came from.

“Oh, you must be sleepy. These eyebags on your pretty face tell me enough; you haven't slept properly in awhile, hm?” the voice questioned, and you swore you could feel something hot blow against your ear before it spoke again, this time closer. But also ice cold in terms of tone. “Guess what? Neither have I, not without you in my arms.”

Oh. Oh. You knew who this voice belonged to. You might've been still asleep practically; but it was like an alarm had gone off in your head, like some natural instinct telling you a predator was nearby and you shouldn't be sleeping right now. It wasn't the first time you had felt like this, though. You'd have this feeling whenever you'd randomly feel like you're being watched, whenever you'd see an unknown number call you, whenever you were all by yourself. You had grown too used to this feeling. You'd respond to it everytime, jumping up and looking around frantically with yet another panic attack waiting for you just around the corner. This feeling had been ruining every waking moment from your life ever since you managed to free yourself; and this feeling was about to absolutely demolish the amazing nap you've been having so far. The nap that you've been needing for months, week, years now.

Not this time. You knew what was going on. You were most likely about to star in the psychological thriller of a dream every single one of your night terrors were. But you wouldn't play along, again, this time. You didn't budge, even with someone's breath right next to your ear. The only thing you did was turn in your sleep, now facing the back of the couch.

“Poor thing..... I told you all about this, did I not? The outside world is full of stress. It sucks the life out of you, it makes you miserable. Just look at what you got yourself into without me; all alone in some foreign country, working yourself to the bone and living in this cockroach infested, century old apartment.” it continued to whisper condescendingly; dripping with fake sympathy. It was truly a wonder how your brain could remember every single one of his patterns in the way he spoke and put you down. His words, despite being absolutely just part of your nightmare, didn't fail to make your heart swell up with the feeling of inferiority and uselessness.

But a second later you couldn't feel his breath on your skin any longer; and you assumed this nightmare was going to progress further differently or you'd just wake up.

“You see, when I came home that day and couldn't find you anywhere I went through such a rollercoaster of emotions,” Ah. Seems like the fact nightmare him had pulled away didn't stop his voice from going on and on. Wonderful. “I was devastated and panicked and frantic- I looked everywhere for you. But I think that the main emotion that has been stirring me for the past four years is anger.” It breathed out, “At first it was all directed at you. The fact that you just left me like that after everything I did for you, all the love I showed you... Did you think that whenever I'd tell you how I couldn't breathe without you near me, I was just trying to be romantic?” scoffed his voice. “I haven't been breathing, actually. It doesn't feel like breathing anymore. It feels like something hallow and bitter comes out of me; like pitch black smoke. You poisoned me the day you left.”

Of course the blame's on you. It always was, no matter what would happen between you two. When he'd cuff you to the bed to the point that you'd almost lose circulation in both wrists, it was your fault for staring at the front door for too long. When he'd shove food down your throat, since declining food was the only form of protest you could pull off sometimes, it was your fault for not wanting to be fed by your kidnapper.

“But I forgive you,”

How generous of him.

“I forgive you because you're the only person who's ever loved me. And the only person I've ever managed to love. You might've poisoned me, my love, but you're also the only antidote.”

You couldn't deny, that even if it was just another stupid nightmare, it brought shivers down your spine. This wasn't the first time you had seen him in your sleep, but this was the first time your mind had crafted such an accurate depiction of him and that was much scarier than the more violent nightmares you've been having. You wanted to rest so bad; but it wasn't worth going through this. And you were feeling a little hungry anyway. Sure, you wouldn't be able to nap again for like a week, but it was a necessary sacrifice if it meant not having to listen to his voice playing over and over again in your head like a broken record.

Instinctively, you turned around to sit up, but before you could get to the sitting up part you felt a hand cup your cheek and your body went frozen on impact, not daring to move a muscle. A very familiar cologne then reached your nostrils; and you were one hundred percent sure of whose cologne it was. Just like how you were one hundred percent sure about who the voice that had been tormenting you for these past few minutes belonged to. You knew it was him; but you tricked yourself into believing that it was just a nightmare. But it had to be a nightmare, right? How could he possibly find you after four years- how could he possibly know you fled to London? You had envisioned this very scenario in your head countless times on restless nights, thinking of every possibility and every single detail so you'd be ready if it ever were to happen; but now you remained stuck in the face of danger.

You didn't want to open your eyes; but you were trembling. He could tell you were awake. And you could tell that he could tell; as you could've sworn you heard his lips forming into a twisted smirk. With his right left hand still cupping your cheek; he leaned closer again and wiped away the tears you hadn't realised were forming in your eyes before starting to rub supposedly soothing circles into your back. “Aw....there's no need to cry, everything will be fine now that we'll be together again. I might've been angry at you for leaving; but now I'm more angry at myself. Angry that I couldn't keep you with me. This time, things will be different.”

His hand finally left your back, and even though your eyes were still shut; you heard his footsteps. He had went to get something, and without a second thought, you stood up; only for him to quickly push you back to the couch. That's when your eyes opened and finally met his own, four years later. But your eyes didn't focus on his facial features. They didn't care to observe whether he had changed or not, the way he looked at you; or if he too had the very same sagging eyebags as you did. All your eyes saw was a monster. A terrifying creature made of all your fear, anxiety- a sight that brought you terror and a nausea inducing sensation in your stomach. What you were looking at didn't feel human, this situation didn't feel real, the line between nightmare and reality had been blurred. There had been instances in the past where you'd pity him somewhat; reminding yourself that he was too a person and the reason he was this way was because he had been damaged from a very young age, gone through terrible things that molded him into what he is today. He had told you all about it himself.

But right now; all you saw before you was a boogieman. And like the scared child you always had been deep inside; you could do nothing but let out a blood curling scream.

“Sssh! Quiet-” He hushed you, forcibly putting his hand over your mouth, “...Still a screamer. Some things never change. Adorable.” he chuckled, in such a disgustingly lovey-dovey way. It felt like he was being genuine; like he truly does find it cute. As if there truly was some absurd form of love behind his words. And honestly? It made them all the more repulsive. It made you want to gag; but gagging wouldn't help, so you did the next best thing. You bit down on his hand as hard as your teeth allowed you and he hissed in pain; but didn't pull away. In fact, he backed you even further into the couch, seemingly searching for something in his pocket with the hand you weren't currently sinking your teeth into. When he found it; he plunged it into your neck with zero hesitation.

For a second, you thought it was a knife. His own way of making sure you'd never leave him, you reckoned, because how could you ever attempt to run from him if you were dead? He had always been a narcissist after all, something you realised a little too late into your relationship back when you guys were still in one. You wouldn't put the possibility of him wanting to be the very last thing you see before you die above him. The satisfaction of knowing you died in his arms; and that you'd never speak to anyone else ever again (including him, but you doubted he cared anymore), as your vocal cords wouldn't be able to work as a decaying corpse; with no beating heart to pump blood into you.

Until he took the unknown object out of your neck; bringing it into your viewpoint. It wasn't a pocket knife or scissors or anything like that. It was a syringe. A syringe that was definitely filled with something which is currently entering your bloodstream. And you knew what that something was; because you remembered him doing the very same thing multiple times before in your sole year of captivity, whenever you'd fight him for far too long and his patience would run thin.

A syringe pumped with drugs to put you to sleep; as well as keep you all docile and rag-doll-ish for a couple of hours.

“It's okay. Go back to sleep, sweetheart. It's just a nightmare, shh.....” He murmured; removing his wounded hand from your mouth and pressing a light kiss on your half-open lips. You didn't know whether his words were mockery or a genuine attempt at comforting you; but neither would make you hate him any more or less.

Still, in that moment, you chose to believe him. You chose to believe that this was truly all a nightmare; you'd wake up at your couch, go make some food, watch some TV and continue your quiet life. It was definitely better than accepting it was about to become a living nightmare all over again.

___________________________________

Thank you for reading!! Feel free to ask me whatever you want or give me feedback on my writing, I'm open to all feedback cause I do genuinely wanna get better <3 Have a great day/night 🩷🩷

Word Count: 4,219 (I think!!)

[chiisana-sukima]

nine people i want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.

Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.

Fave color: Purple

Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery

Last movie: Knives Out

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty

Relationship: married x 27 years

Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".

Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.

@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.

Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.

I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.

If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.

Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.

Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop

@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.

[inventedfangirling]

My friends i watched love for love's sake and I swear i don't have a fckin clue where even to start.

I know a lot has been said about the show already and i know a LOT more would be said about in the future, but i just can't help adding my own two cents to one of the most thought-provoking, moving and brilliantly executed pieces of art i have ever seen.

I'm not gonna go on about just how much I loved Tae Myungha's character and how he is one of the most interesting people I've seen on screen in a long time. I'm not gonna talk about how unbelievably squishable Yeowoon is and how his duality totally ruined me that I need him to get into my pocket and NEVER leave. And oh I need him to put Myungha in his pocket while at it. I'm also not gonna talk about precious 'of course i'm gay, i've always liked girls, you don't know how to be loved' Sangwon is to me, cos if i start I can promise you I will most certainly never stop.

So for the sake of the rest of this post, I'm moving on. (NOT REALLY THO)

I just LOVE LOVE LOVE all the interpretations that people are coming up with, LOVE LOVE LOVE the show for filling in the gaps but LOVE it more for still leaving room for pretty thought-flowers to bloom around.

You know those artworks or puzzles that have something obvious hidden in a maze of confusion and haze until somebody points out the pattern, you zoom out and realize wow it was this clear all along?? That's a LOT of what watching the show felt like to me. The pattern being how inexplicably inter-connected Myungha and Yeowoon are. Not because they are each other's blorbos, but because why they are eo's blorbos. Why they don't care for each other from a sense of sympathy, but from empathy, despite not knowing the depth of their connections explicitly.

Eventhough we do see glimpses of it from the start, it only gets more clear later how Myungha and Yeowoon really are mirror versions of eo. How the first time Myungha sees Yeowoon he's stopping him from killing himself, and then we later find out that Myungha ends up killing himself. How both of it was triggered by a series of disappointments in life, starting with a troubling family and ending with a grandmother who passes away. Of how both of them seem to really have no one else to call their own in the world. Of leading very lonely depressing lives, that seem to never have a glimpse of hope. How both of them seem closed off, but inside they really are so fragile it hurts to perceive the depth of their feelings. It all comes and hits you once you've taken the whole show in and have gotten a few 1000 seconds to think about it.

We start off with myungha's character wanting to make his blorbo's character happy, and he's in it cos he cares about him, he doesn't have to think about himself. A 'pathetic' character experiencing a lot of pain, what's not to love, Myungha thinks, not realizing that it's his own mirror self that he is feeling so much for. Myungha sees Yeowoon's problems as someone from outside and is therefore able to objectively look at it, and approach it proactively, taking so many steps to help him, my favourite (and arguably most important) of which is the effort he puts in to help form yeowoon a friend circle. Something that he couldn't do for himself cos he never even considered a possibility of that. Why would anybody want to be around him? He ruins everything right?

And then to go on despite believing that, to falling in love, to deciding to choose to save both his grandma and yeowoon, finally FINALLY taking control into his hands even if for a bit to say what he wants, to spending the last few days together, to breaking up cos he just thinks the worst of himself, cos he doesn't know better. And then to the eternal darkness, where moments before leaving, just like in his real life, he realizes he wants in, he wants to live, he wants to love, but more importantly this time, he wants to try being loved. Even if it's difficult, he wants to try.

I love how eventhough the show is heavily Myungha focused, we get meaningful dynamics with multiple characters. Round eyed gasp inducing moments dont just belong to the two mains but also to sangwon whose line to myungha post the stalker incident just ruined me and really set the tone for whatever the show was later revealed to be all about.

I love how complicated the narrative got while still telling a more or less coherent story, how in hindsight, a lot of it makes even more sense now. How as Myungha gets closer to yeowoon his self-hating tendencies manifest in the form of debuffs and errors, because of his own brain's inability to perceive himself as somebody deserving love. His childhood trauma and the numerous rejections life has given him, because of the kind of person he turned out to be because of those rejections, all appear to stand in his way of happiness, as if he can't help being a bundle of sadness and a harbinger of problems. Even as he says he doesn't believe in destiny or fate. Or as we initially are made to believe in the game as, yeowoon's happiness, when in reality this was never about yeowoon at all. Yeowoon never existed in the first place and in "real" life, he never does.

I was blown away by how Myungha is in fact no longer in the mortal world but that fact doesn't hurt as much as that he would have to leave a world where he could finally feel happiness, feel loved, feel cared for, even if he consciously tried avoiding them. They still came to him, they still cared for him, they still fiercely wanted to protect him, (Cos he is just a tiny meow meow, who has been hurt a lot in his life, who wouldn't wanna caress and nurse him back to health HUH) just as much as he wanted to protect them.

And coming to the question of what's the game, where is it happening and who orchestrated it? It's definitely set in the afterlife or the limbo between life and the life after. It could be the author friend doing it, or the author friend has given myungha's brain the power to control the game OR of course the possibility that this has all been happening in myungha's head the whole time.

Whatever it is, the whole point has been to take Myungha from a person not wanting to live his life, feeling so devoid of love and happiness, to a journey of love and friendship, of the importance of fostering connections, of making efforts, of helping others, but equally of letting others help you, of putting your hand out and asking for that help. And in my head I love it most when I think of it as entirely Myungha orchestrated. Of it being a desperate cry of pain to himself, from himself, to save himself. Yeowoon and the game and the missions and all of it was for him to see himself in ways he never allowed himself to be seen as, to take care of himself in ways he never has, to love himself like he has never known to. To finally run towards himself, even if pathetic and sad, the Cha Yeowoon of the game, the person waiting at the end of the finishing line was the Tae Myungha in him all along.

You know that tumblr quote 'do it for her' but its about your future self, right? Myungha rooting for Yeowoon is sort of like that? When he's protecing him, he's protecting himself? When he's cheering for him, he's actually cheering and rooting for himself? When he's loving him, he makes space and place to love himself?

I just love the idea of a (self) love story.

Eitherway Yeowoon x Myungha supremacy.

Extreme(ly accurate?) Interpretations apart, Love for Love's Sake is truly one of the, if not THE finest (self) love story I might have ever seen.

As a person who avoids fics/books with mcd or shows with tragic endings, it felt absolutely revolutionary to me that my biggest joy and relief came from the fact that the main character is dead (the thought of myungha having to leave the game was too much to handle) and he gets to live in this game where he has a cute boyfriend, a supportive, caring friend group and his grandma back. it wasn't the game that was temporary or non-existent, it was actually his life outside. And that's not bad? Cos this is a story and Myungha isn't real, but as real as he is, he got his happy ending.

The show taught us to love, to see love, to be loved and to share that love. It told us that maybe the afterlife is a videogame simulation where we all get to live in friendship and love forever, with our blorbo and our friends. There are a lot worse lives to live. And I'm glad he found it in himself, enough love, courage and hope to write himself a better one :')

[praisethegabs]

HOME

Leon Kennedy x F!Reader

synopsis: starting a family right after the incident that ended Raccoon City wasn't in your or Leon's plans, but destiny decided to bless you two with twins. Now married and with two kids to raise, life can't be better. Leon finally seems to be healing and moving on, until his job starts to take a toll on him. Again.

warnings: angst (again) with happy ending, mentions of traumas, nightmares, sub!leon and soft dom!wife, mentions of: ptsd, crying during sex, soft smut, p in v, hand job, praise kink, use of pet names. both oc's named olivia and jake as the twins.

word count: 7k

a/n: istg i needed to write something like this. idk why, but the idea felt so great... i like to imagine what was like for leon if he had kids and a normal life, so this is what i got. enjoy it, fellas

"show me the most damaged parts of your soul, and I will show you how it still shines like gold," nikita gill

Starting a family wasn't something you thought about in your early 20s.

But then, Leon Kennedy entered your life. You both met before Raccoon City, and you couldn't help but fall in love with those innocent baby blue eyes. At first, Leon was full of energy, completely eager and enthusiastic about his new job as a cop. You both thought that moving to Raccoon City was a good idea, and you were both happy.

You had just started a new job as an intern journalist, and it was the perfect opportunity for you since you were almost done with college. As for Leon, he graduated from the police academy and was ready to serve. For two individuals in their early 20s, it was the perfect opportunity.

Life can be weird at times.

You both never got the chance to do what you wanted. Raccoon City was in chaos with numerous casualties, and Leon came close to death while battling the Tyrant known as Mr. X. Somehow, amidst all the chaos, you managed to befriend Claire Redfield, a teenager who was searching for her older brother. Together, the three of you managed to survive that night, even rescuing a little girl named Sherry. What happened afterwards were mere consequences.

You knew from the start that Leon was an orphan, and that he was rescued by a cop after his entire family was killed. This is why he helped Claire keep Sherry safe. However, even after that living nightmare ended, the government decided to "ask" Leon to join them. He never told you what happened afterward. He never explained why he had to attend this six-month training camp.

But he was acting differently. Sure, you couldn’t blame him for being distant.

What happened that night traumatized him. He was shot in the shoulder and pursued by Mr. X, narrowly escaping death. You were with Claire most of the time because Leon thought you would be safe with her. He never told you exactly what happened, but you knew him. He changed.

Sometimes, he would wake up screaming, scared, and desperately searching for you, just to ensure your safety and well-being. You would calm him down, talk to him, and help him understand that you are safe and that nothing is real. In the mornings, you would wake him up with breakfast in bed and tend to his wound - which later turned out to be a scar. It was a sorrowful memento of that evening.

Two weeks before Leon left the house, you discovered that you were expecting a baby.

This wasn't exactly what you both wanted, and at first, Leon was mesmerized by the idea of becoming a father, but he was also very scared. Suddenly, he wanted to be at home with you instead of going to this training camp, just like you wanted him to stay. But Leon didn't have a choice. You watched him leave, and something inside your chest told you that this would be the last time you would see this version of Leon, the rookie cop you had fallen in love with.

When he returned home, he was bigger than you had remembered.

His muscles had doubled in size, and he was much stronger, completely different from when he left. His eyes, however, remained the same. It was your Leon, the same man you had met before the apocalypse. When he saw your baby bump and realized it was his child inside, he cried. You had a baby shower, but you didn't know the gender of your baby - you wanted Leon to be a part of everything. So, one week after he returned home, the two of you got married in a beautiful, intimate, and small ceremony. Claire and Chris were in attendance - Chris being Claire's older brother - and you and Leon quickly became friends with him.

Your family lived in another country, and you had no contact with them. You were on your own, and you were glad to have him by your side.

At the end of the year, your twins were born, and Leon was there to witness the childbirth. His eyes were shining just like they did when you both first met. Her name was Olivia. Leon loved that name, and she had her father's eyes and the same blond hair. The other twin was named Jake, and he had your hair and Leon's eyes. Both Olivia and Jake were copies of Leon, and he was proud of them. After the first few weeks, he took care of all the chores around the house and looked after you, Olivia, and Jake. He always said, "You shouldn't worry about that anymore."

But sometimes, he was very scared of someone trying to hurt the three of you. So, he asked to move somewhere else, and suddenly, you didn't have to worry about work or money anymore. He provided everything you needed, and he would move mountains to ensure the security of his loved ones.

The year was now 2002.

He had to leave for a mission with Major Jack Krauser. You stayed at home with your twins and were aided by Claire because they would cause you a lot of trouble. Of course, Leon's job was dangerous, but he always managed to call you and the kids. He never used his ring while on duty and had no pictures of his family with him, afraid that someone would find them and harm the babies. You can be sure that no one at the agency knew he was married and a father of two.

To be honest, you didn't care. You knew that after the incident in Raccoon City, your family meant everything to him, and he would do whatever it took to keep all of you safe. Leon was broken inside, but now he had found a new sense of purpose. He loved all three of you more than anything in the world, and when he returned from the operation, he embraced the twins and showered all of you with affection. Something happened there, but you decided not to ask.

For the twins' 4th birthday, you set a small party for a few friends.

Claire and Chris were there, as always, along with a few of your friends. The barbecue was filled with love and happiness, and yet, you noticed Leon's eyes shining once more. A little reminder that life could be peaceful sometimes, without the horrors of one's job. You would look at him, with all his glorious features kissed by the sun. The way his eyes shine with happiness. He was so beautiful. You felt so lucky.

Olivia was definitely her dad's girl. She loved running into his arms and staying there. She loved it when Leon played with her or bathed her. Jake, however, was more of a momma's boy. Of course, he loved being with his father, but he preferred being with you. They used to sleep together and be each other's best friends until that day arrived.

They were growing up, and now they wanted separate rooms. They would fight sometimes, and Leon was always the reasonable person who would calm them both. He would always talk to them instead of doing something else, and occasionally, on very rare occasions, he would ground the twins.

You knew that your husband was happy with his life. It made him forget about Raccoon City. It helped him heal.

Things couldn't be better for your family. The twins were at school. You finally had time for yourself and Leon. Sex was incredible, and occasionally, you would send the children to Claire's so you could reaffirm your connection with your husband. Leon was very submissive, and you enjoyed being in control, making him beg like the obedient boy he was. You ruined him so deeply that you were certain he would never forget it. Even with two children, you still had the power to touch him and drive him crazy.

Until 2004.

“The president's daughter?" you asked him when he dropped the news about his new assignment. "In Spain?"

"Yes, honey. The president doesn't want anyone to know... that's why I'm going alone," Leon sighed, holding your hands. "But I promise I'll be back before you even have a chance to miss me."

"I already miss you," you muttered, which made him smile. His thumb gently pressed against your lips, while his hand firmly held your chin, compelling you to meet his gaze.

"You know I love you more than anything in this world, right?" Leon asked, his voice smooth, husky, and caring. You nodded in response. "I'll be back soon, I promise."

"Well, you better tell the twins. Good luck, Liv is not in the mood today," you said, playfully tapping his shoulder, which caused him to furrow his eyebrows.

"Oh, come on, honey... this is unfair!" Leon protested, but then he laughed, following you to the living room. He called the twins, and Olivia was already sitting on his lap. "Okay, Daddy's gotta go for a few days to fight the bad guys. Behave and don't get into trouble with your mom, or I'll be the one in trouble, okay?"

"Fight the bad guys?" Liv asked, facing her dad while clutching her favorite teddy bear.

"Yes, sweetheart. They need Daddy to fight the bad guys again. There's someone who needs help," Leon explained calmly, while cradling Olivia in his lap.

"Will you be safe?" Jake asked, as he went to sit with his sister on Leon's lap, hugging his dad.

"Always, pumpkin. When I get back home, I promise I'll take a few days off so we can all be together, okay?" Leon smiled at his son.

"Please, get back home safely, Daddy," Olivia said, burying her face in his neck. Her words brought a smile to his face as he hugged the twins.

You had your twins in your arms as the three of you watched Leon leave in the black SUV. As soon as you closed the door, you activated the non-negotiable security system. Leon needed to be sure that you would be safe with the kids, and you knew very well that he wouldn't be able to focus on his job if he had to worry about his family's safety.

"Why does Daddy have to go, Mommy?" Olivia asked, her eyes shining with tears.

"It's his job, sweetie." Sometimes, Daddy needs to save people so he can keep us safe too," you tried to explain in the best way you could. After all, they were only six years old.

"But what if we need him, Mommy?" Jake asked. You touched the tip of his nose, smiling.

"Well, mommy can protect both of you from the bad guys... and we also have Uncle Chris and Auntie Claire who can help if I need assistance," you reassured your twins with a soothing tone of voice.

"I miss him already," Olivia cried, and then you hugged her tightly.

“I know, baby. Mommy misses him too”

It was the middle of the night when you heard someone deactivating the security system and unlocking the door. After three distinct knocks, you knew exactly who it was.

Leon was tired, distressed, and angry all at once. His clothes were dirty, and he felt quite miserable. His entire body was aching, and he couldn't wait to fall asleep in your bed, holding you in his arms. You, on the other hand, turned on the lights in your room and went immediately to meet him.

The moment Leon saw you, he immediately embraced you, his face completely buried in your neck, sending shivers down your spine, despite the difference in height. Your fingers ran through his tousled blonde hair, and for minutes, words were unnecessary. The way he was holding you in his arms made you think that something really bad had happened in Spain.

"Shh, it's okay... you're home, baby," you whispered in his ear, providing some comfort.

"I'm so sorry," Leon said, his voice breaking.

The last time you saw him so fragile, on the verge of tears, was after the incident in Raccoon City. Witnessing him in that state once more filled you with fear. Right after he apologized, for reasons unknown, he started sobbing and crying on your shoulder. Something was not right.

It took 40 long minutes until Leon finally calmed down. Meanwhile, you kept hugging him and reassuring him with calm words that everything was fine and he was safe at home with you. You gently stroked his hair and often traced circles on his back with your finger.

"I never told you why I left... or why I am doing this job," Leon said vaguely, his eyes focused on something else.

"I never told you why I left... or why I am doing this job," Leon said vaguely, his eyes focused on something else.

"Why does this matter now, baby?" you raised your eyebrow, sitting next to him on the sofa.

"It was because of Sherry. Remember that when Claire left to find her brother, and we attempted to locate a rescue but ended up in that government facility?" Leon asked, his gaze still fixed on something else.

The memory was still fresh in your mind. They kept you away from Leon, but they never told you why. After six years, you would have the answers to this issue.

"That day, they started questioning me, and because I possessed the skills they were seeking, they expressed their desire for me to join them. I only managed to get us out of there because of that," Leon says, his eyes cast downward as if he were ashamed. "But the thing is... they never asked me to join them."

You raised your eyebrows again, confused by his sudden revelation. You knew from the beginning that something - or someone - was being used to make him stay. He finally looks at you, his eyes shining with tears once more.

"They forced me. They said they would kill us if I didn't say yes... and I had no other choice. I asked them to leave you out of this, and I would work for them... I just wanted to keep you safe," Leon sobs again, burying his face in his hands, his voice cracking. "But this last mission... God... the things I saw and did..."

You decided to let him vent. Whatever happened, there was enough to break the wall that Leon had built over the past six years. He was finally allowing himself to feel his emotions, and you wouldn't interrupt him.

"These villagers, they were insane. Controlled by a parasite called Las Plagas, they transformed into monstrous creatures, their heads exploding and their forms becoming grotesque." Leon continued to sob, as the memories of the events in Spain flooded back into his mind. "The cult leader also infected me. He almost turned me into his pet, using the plaga inside me to torture and control my body and mind."

And then, he sobbed again. Seeing your husband hurt like that breaks your heart. Since Raccoon City, you have always been the tough one. You never showed any signs of sadness or trauma because you knew Leon needed your support. Eventually, what happened there stays in the past. But for him, it was completely different.

Gently, you embraced him once more, his head resting on your neck and his breath caressing your skin gently. You felt his warm tears on your robe, but this wasn't something that you cared about at the moment.

"I can't fall asleep... I keep seeing those things over and over again. I see Saddler, Mendez, Salazar, and Krauser," Leon sobs one more time, holding you tightly in his arms. You raised your eyebrows, surprised to hear that name after all these years. "He didn't die. He kidnapped Ashley. He was working for them. I had to fight him, I had to kill him."

"Sweetheart, none of this is your fault," you whispered, trying to calm him once more. Your words were full of assurance.

"He tried to kill Luis and me. I felt so betrayed. I thought he had died two years ago... but he was working for Saddler. He died because of power, something so stupid," Leon said, his eyes closed as he replayed everything in his head. "I just can't believe it. I thought it could be different..."

"Well, you brought Ashley home safely. You did it, and then you managed to come home for us too," you smiled kindly, using your thumb to wipe the tears from his face. "You're here with us, safe and sound again."

"I'm so tired, baby," Leon whispered to you, his eyes still closed as he started to calm down again. "It is always the same bullshit”

"I know," you said, taking a deep breath. "But I'm here, and nothing will hurt you."

You noticed a slight smirk on his lips, and both of you remained there for a while.

You knew that his missions left him stressed and tired. Sometimes he would be gone for weeks, and it always made you anxious because you were scared he wouldn't come back. But you knew Leon better than anyone else. He would always come home.

"Daddy!" "Daddy!" Olivia jumped into his arms when she saw him in the kitchen in the morning.

"Good morning, princess," Leon chuckled, holding her in his strong embrace. "Someone missed me, huh?"

"Where's Jake?" you asked Olivia, noticing that her brother didn't come downstairs for breakfast.

"He's in his room, Mommy," Olivia said, hugging Leon tightly. "I told him to come down and see Daddy, but he didn't want to."

"Ok, I'll take care of it," Leon sighs, gently placing Olivia on the ground and kissing you on the forehead.

You smiled and nodded your head. As Leon went to Jake's room, your daughter helped you prepare breakfast. Gently, Leon knocked on Jake's door before entering. He saw his little boy lying on his bed, with his eyes closed. His room was filled with blue adhesive posters, scattered bears, and toys.

"Hey, big boy. What happened?” Leon asked, sitting on the edge of Jake's bed, with his hand on his son's shoulder.

"I had a bad dream," Jake whispered, trying to hide under the blankets.

"A bad dream? Wanna talk about it?" Leon asked again, gently holding Jake's hand and stroking his hair.

"I saw a man hurting you, Daddy... I felt it too," his baby blue eyes then shined with tears.

"Well, Daddy's back home safe and sound, you see? There's nothing to be worried about, okay? While I'm here, no one will hurt you," Leon smiled, his voice calm and soft, as always. "Now, let's go eat breakfast, or your mom will definitely ground us."

Jake nodded smiling and Leon lifted him onto his shoulders. They walked downstairs together for breakfast, with Leon carrying his child. He placed Jake in the chair, sitting between the twins. Olivia and Jake enjoyed their pancakes with juice, while you and Leon had your favorite meal. Such a warm way to welcome him home.

"Daddy, I did something for you," Olivia said. Then, she ran to the living room and returned with a piece of paper. "I was waiting for you to come back."

"This is so beautiful, princess. I loved it," Leon smiled, as he observed the drawing she made of the family. "Thank you, baby girl."

"Jake drew too," you said, noticing that Jake was away. He seemed sad. "Right, baby?"

"Yes, I did," he nodded, then he ate another slice of his pancake. Your shared glance with Leon conveyed what words couldn't.

A few hours later, Olivia and Jake were playing in the garden, while Leon and you were casually lying on the sofa, watching the twins from the window. He was between your legs, and your fingers were gently running through his disheveled hair. His breath was calm, and he appeared tired, but at least he managed to sleep for the rest of the night.

"I'm worried about him," you sighed to Leon, your eyes locked on Jake as he played with his sister.

"Do you think we need therapy?" Leon's eyes met yours as he lifted his head to get a better view.

"I think he misses you, Lee. Let's be honest, Olivia is like your baby girl, and I think Jake feels that you give her too much attention," you said, analyzing the two.

"Right, babe. I'll fix that, I promise," Leon smirks, passionately kissing your hand.

"Take him to a boys' day or something. I'm sure he'll love spending some time with his dad," you suggested, smiling and leaning in to kiss his forehead.

"Alright, I promise I'll spend some time with Jake. I don't want to miss anything," Leon smiled again, then he leaned in to kiss you.

"Ew, that's disgusting!" Olivia shouted. Then, you glanced at your daughter and smiled mischievously at Leon. Both of you then ran after Jake and Olivia, giving them each a kiss.

2006 was a terrible year.

You knew that someday you would have to explain to the twins the true nature of Leon's job. You thought you would have time for it. Instead, his job decided to rush things, and now you have to deal with it alone.

Leon had gone to investigate something in China, and for some reason, you felt uncomfortable with the idea. Since his mission to Spain, he has completely changed again. Of course, you loved spending more time with him, and the twins loved the idea as well, but he seemed a little sad. Every time you tried to talk and understand what was going on, he would shut himself off and change the subject.

Just like what happened after the incident in Raccoon City.

You were at home when you heard about a submarine exploding and rumors circulating about the Chinese being behind the attack. The last time you had actually spoken to Leon, he was on his way to catch a submarine. Your heart sank at the possibility of him being killed, but somehow, you decided to remain positive. Leon would never leave you alone; he always finds a way to come back home.

But then, just as you were about to tell the twins, Leon returned.

This was the first time you had a fight with him. You needed to tell him how distant he was and the fact that he almost died made you freak out. He needed to open his eyes because he had been away from home since Spain, and you were trying everything in your power to make him see what he was losing.

And right after the fight, Leon attempted to reconcile and make amends.

He was more present at home, spending more time with you and the children. He was being more passionate and caring than ever before, treating you in the best way he could. Even so, he still had nightmares. One night, he woke up abruptly, his face and chest drenched in sweat, his breath labored, and his eyes filled with fear and panic.

"Babe, I'm here. It's okay, it wasn't real. It was only a bad dream," you said soothingly, hugging him tightly and stroking his hair to provide comfort.

"Shit... I-I can't sleep," he muttered, trying to catch his breath. He was very scared.

"Take a few deep breaths with me," you said, placing your hand on his chest and feeling his rapid heartbeat. Leon held your hand for support, to confirm that it was indeed real.

He never told you what his nightmare was about. You attempted to engage in conversation with him, but he mentioned something about terror and fear, implying that it would be better to avoid discussing it. Eventually, after a few weeks, he told you about Jason and what had happened in China. If Jason wanted to scare him, he successfully did that.

You hated Jason more than ever.

After the events of the Eastern Slav Civil War in 2011, Leon decided to quit USSTRATCOM for good. He told you what happened there and expressed his disgust towards the current government. He expressed his anger and stress by fucking you forcefully. Thankfully, the twins were at Claire's, so they couldn't hear your pornographic moans.

Now, he was working for DSO, and he seemed happy.

It was a very peculiar routine. Leon was called during a family quality time and was gone for weeks. When he returned, he would be exhausted to the core, stressed, and angry. The only way to relieve his tension was by using your gentle touch.

Jake and Olivia were at an age where they enjoyed spending time with friends. You didn't mind letting Olivia go to her best friend's house for a sleepover while Jake had fun with his own group. And when you had the house all to yourself, Leon would not only find a good massage but also the perfect stress relief.

"Beg to come, my good boy," you teased, slowing down your hands on his erect penis.

"P-please... let me cum, please,” he moaned so loudly that you knew your neighbors would hear him pleading with you. "F-fuck, I can't take it anymore."

"Again," you demanded, smiling teasingly as you continued to move your hand slowly. You watched as he desperately tried to find some friction, lifting his hips into your hand.

"Please, let me cum, babe,” he whined aloud, tears streaming down his cheeks as he gripped the sheets beneath him, burying his head in the pillow and closing his eyes. “Pleasepleaseplease I'll be your good boy.”

"The light is green," you whispered in his ear, biting his earlobe. With the trigger words, Leon released himself into your hands, emitting a loud moan that left you satisfied with your performance. His body jerks with the sudden release of pleasure, and he tries to catch his breath again.

“I love you,” he says. 

It was 2013, and you were at home, focusing on your paperwork for DSO since your children were teenagers, and you had time to work again. Jake was at soccer practice, Olivia was with her friends at the theater extra class, and you were alone with Cookie, the stray black and white cat that Leon adopted a few months ago. 

Suddenly, you heard the news about President Benford being killed. At the same time, someone called you. It was Hunnigan. 

She told you Leon was accused of killing the president while on a mission with Helena Harper from the CIA, and he was apparently MIA. You fell onto the couch, your heart beating faster inside your chest. You knew Leon would never betray his own country like that. Not only that, but you knew him better than anyone else. You knew what was about to happen. Immediately, you went to pick up the twins, driving them home in such a hurry that they didn’t understand what was going on. 

“Mom, is there something wrong with dad?” Jake asked, checking his phone with a worried expression. “The president died? Is all over the news” 

“I’ll explain when we get back home” You sighed heavily, your heart beating faster and your hands shaking completely. 

“Is he okay?” Olivia glanced at you, trying to find any assurance. In response, you just bite your lip. 

You said nothing. When you parked in front of your house, you took the twins inside in such a hurry that they started to get anxious. They could definitely tell something was wrong. You closed the curtains and checked the entire place, and when you found nothing, you finally relaxed. 

“Your dad went on a meeting with the president earlier, but I don’t know what went wrong, but he had to kill the president,” you finally said, after sitting with the twins on the sofa. Olivia gasped in shock as Jake remained with his Stoic expression, just like his father. “And at the moment, he’s missing in action” 

If you could protect your children from the truth and the whole world, you would without hesitation. The look of sadness on their faces, the way they leaned in for your support — it all broke your heart. Olivia was crying quietly, Jake was in shock, and once more, it was your responsibility to be the tough one. 

The three of you remained in the living room as your embrace protected the twins, giving them the comfort they needed. At any time, you knew you would receive secret agents at your door, but you had no patience to deal with them. Deep down, you knew that Leon was alive. He needed to be. 

But eventually, after a few days, you started to question if he really died. The twins were at home with you, as you decided to keep them at home after being dismissed from class due to personal reasons. The house, once full of laughs, jokes, and love, was now silent and cold. You were dead worried, waiting for any sign or call from Leon or Hunnigan. Olivia barely left her room, and Jake tried to stay positive, giving you the support you also needed. 

Until he crossed the door. 

The moment Leon walked inside the house, it was like he brought back the light. It was like the missing piece had finally found its way back. Olivia and Jake jumped on him, and for a very long time, tears and sobs were the only symphony inside the place. You were looking at him like he was your sun, the warmth and kindness that always finds a way to melt your heart. He glances at you, and he smiles.

He opens his arms, and when he embraces you, this is exactly where he needs to be.

“I had no other choice. He got infected,” Leon later said, when the four of you were having a family quality time. “And Simmons tried to blame me to cover up for his crimes”

“But you got him, right?” Jake asked, eating his popcorn and focusing his attention on his father.

“Well, kiddo, if I didn’t, I would be dead by now.” Leon chuckles, stroking your hand as you lay comfortably on his chest, smiling.

“Why do you keep doing this, dad?” Olivia asked, sighing. Leon hesitated for a moment. This was a subject never spoken in your family.

“Back in 1998, right after I met your mom, I had recently graduated from the Police Academy, and your mom was about to start as an intern. We decided to move to Raccoon City so we could start a life together, but one week before, I got a call telling me I shouldn’t go. I don’t know why I ignored that call, but we went anyway.” Leon sighed, his eyes looking somewhere else. He never liked talking about Raccoon City. “When we arrived, the city was drowned in chaos, death, and zombies. It was a living nightmare. But at least we met Claire and Sherry, a little girl who was alone. We managed to survive the night, barely escaping the city. The entire city was wiped away the next morning, and when we tried to find a rescue, we ended up in a government facility. I made a deal that day in exchange for keeping your mom and Sherry safe, I joined their top-secret program. One week before I left, your mom told me she was pregnant"

Both Olivia and Jake were surprised to hear about the incident. Sure, everyone knew, but knowing their parents were there and somehow survived was very different. Now, at least, they knew the true nature of Leon’s job and why he did what he did. But, the most important thing in the world, they knew Leon would do everything in his power to keep his family safe.

One year later, in 2014, however, things turned unexpectedly.

Leon decided to go on a vacation in the Rocky Mountains in Colorado after his entire team was killed by a mole. He drowned himself in alcohol, and he clearly was struggling with depression. After everything he went through, he was losing himself again. It was morning when you woke up alone in the hotel room, his side cold and empty. His blonde hair was now dark, he had a beard growing up, and his eyes weren’t shining like usual.

You found him already drinking his sorrows away.

“Babe, you can’t keep doing this to yourself,” you sighed, sitting on his side, holding his hand and squeezing it softly.

“I don’t know if I can keep doing this anymore.” Leon muttered, his eyes focused on his own drink and avoiding your gaze. “I had to watch them die… I had to shoot them in the morgue. I lost them all”

“And do you think drinking heavily will ease the pain, Lee? You can’t bring them back, and I know it hurts, but this wasn’t your fault. You tried, I know you did… but sometimes things don’t happen the way we want them to happen,” you sighed again, still holding his hand.

He was shattered inside. Losing his entire team in front of his eyes made him regret every decision he ever made. He was disgusted by himself and found solace in alcohol, which you hated.

“It's a little bit early to be that deep in the bottle, Leon,” you heard Chris say, getting closer with Rebecca.

You smirk, and Leon sighs. He’s going again on a new mission.

When he came back from this mission with Chris, he seemed different. Although his arm seemed to be hurt, he was acting differently. Whatever happened between him and Chris, it worked to make him open his eyes. He enjoyed the rest of his vacation, cutting out alcohol permanently and spending more time with his family. 

He eventually told you about Arias and what happened in New York. Likewise, he told you about Maria. 

Leon was, again, healing. It was a very slow process, but he had his family to remind him that life could be beautiful and happy. He had you by his side, and even after sixteen years since Raccoon City, he was still alive, and nothing bad really happened to you or the twins. Now, he was making his dad jokes again, laughing and smiling more than ever. His presence at home was more frequent, and he definitely decided to stay more with you. 

On the weekends, he would take you and the twins to some random beach, have a picnic, or go camping outside. The family portraits were happier than the previous ones, and slowly, he was starting to show the first signs of his age hitting him. His body wasn’t the same as before, but you didn’t care. To you, he would always be the Leon you met in his 20s. 

A year later, everything was normal again. 

“Ok, slow down. I know you want to go see this prison, but I’m not Flash!” You shouted at Jake while he was speaking aloud about Alcatraz. “Liv, are you ready?”

“Mom, why do you keep treating me like I’m a baby?” Jake rolled his eyes, finally meeting you in the living room, his phone on his left ear. 

“Well, you might be sixteen, but you’re still my baby.” You teased him by kissing his forehead. 

You drove to get the boat to Alcatraz Island because Jake had been asking you for the entire month. He had this history project, and since you were the cool parent, you decided to take him and Olivia on a small trip to the island because Leon was too busy at work, and you wanted to enjoy San Francisco since their vacation was ending. 

But something went wrong. 

You three were at the cell block when everyone started to scream and run. You grabbed Jake and Olivia by their hands and entered one of the cells, locking it. Whatever was happening, their safety was your priority. You took a gun from your purse, ready to keep your children safe. 

“Mom… I-I don’t feel good,” Jake muttered, sliding against the walls. He was pale and sweating, and his breath was very shallow. 

“What happened, baby? What's wrong?” You asked desperately, trying to find any sign of a bite or any other wound. “Are you hurt? Olivia, help me lay him in bed"

But then the same thing happened to Olivia. You were desperate, and their phones were missing. Now, they were struggling against something you couldn’t know what it was, and there was no way to call for help. You sat with them, stroking their heads and whispering soothing words, fighting to keep tears in your eyes. You saw a blonde woman standing on the other side, half of her face covered by her own hair. She watched you with an awful smirk and disdain.

“Who are you?” you asked, your hand slightly reaching your gun.

“I’m the one who will make your husband pay for killing my father,” the mysterious blonde said angrily. “I’ll make him watch your children rip you apart and see him kill everything he loves. And then I’ll make him suffer”

“You’re stupid to think he’ll fall for that,” you said, smiling, but deep down, you knew you were scared. “He’ll beat the living shit out of you just because you thought you could harm us”

She smirks.

“Yeah, if I were you, I’d be worrying about my own skin by now”

“Well, if you think I’ll leave my children alone, you’re wrong. You better find Leon before I find you, because no one fucks with my family and gets away with it,” you threatened with cold, dead eyes, and she seemed to back off.

“Badass, mom,” Jake smirks, holding your hand tight.

“Don’t worry, sweetie. Dad’s coming,” you whispered to the twins softly.

You had no idea how she found out about your family, but this wasn’t important at the moment. You had calmed them both, knowing they were struggling with the infection. Seeing them suffer made you angry, and whoever she was, you would go after her and make her pay for hurting your babies. You had no notion of time, but you heard someone. It was Chris and Claire, they were also infected. You hated being the one spared, but you knew you were running out of time.

“Are you guys okay?” You asked both Chris and Claire, hearing them groan in pain.

“Yeah… how about the kids?” Chris asked you back, followed by a groan.

“They’re infected…” you sighed. “I don’t know, it happened quick”

You heard a loud thud. Two people were walking inside the cell block, and then you heard him scream your name, running immediately to you. Desperation floated in his eyes as he saw his twins.

“Babe, are you okay? Are you hurt?” Leon asked with desperation in his voice. He managed to open the cell, hugging you tight. “What happened to the twins?”

“That little bitch infected them,” you muttered, kneeling next to Olivia.

“Maria? Where is she?” Leon asked again, holding Jake in his lap. “Hold on, big boy. Daddy's here”

“Dad… it hurts,” Jake hissed, closing his eyes. Olivia reached for his hand, trying to squeeze it.

“I know, but I need you to hang on just a little bit. I promise I’ll take you home safe,” Leon said, stroking Jake’s hair and, with his other hand, holding Olivia’s.

As soon as Rebecca arrived, she injected the vaccine into the twins, Chris and Claire. Jill had to leave to face Dylan by herself. It was time to end this. As soon as the twins recovered from the infection, you sat next to them with a serious look on your face.

“I need you two to go with Claire and Rebecca. Jake, you need to protect your sister, okay? I’m counting on you two,” you said to them. “Me and Dad will be back for you when we finish. Go, now!” As they leave with Claire and Rebecca, you take your gear.

“You look so sexy when you’re angry,” Leon teased as you two walked to the armory room.

“Keep teasing me like that, and I’ll have to teach you a lesson” You wink at him, which makes him giggle.

Maria was waiting for both of you in the armory room. After an intense fight, Leon managed to kick her, impaling her into some broken metal pipes. She looked at you, and you leaned closer, pointing your gun into her head.

“I told you. No one fucks with my family,” you hissed angrily, right before she dropped dead on the floor.

Alcatraz was a terrible experience. Leon had his face almost purple after being beaten up by Maria, and the twins were exhausted. At least your family is intact again. You were with Rebecca, Chris, Claire, Jill, and Leon outside. He seemed distressed, so you hugged him tightly, kissing his shoulder gently.

“I almost lost them,” he said, looking at the twins laughing with Chris. “And you”

“We’re here,” you said to him, looking into his blue eyes and placing your cheek peacefully on his shoulder.

“I’ll quit.” Leon looks at you. “I’m coming home, and I’ll never leave you again”

You smiled, holding his hand. No matter what happens, at the end of the day, Leon always comes home.

[rekino2114]

can you do fem denji x male reader

Fem. Denji getting jealous

A/n:normally for a genderbent post I'd change the name to a feminine version of it but I can't think of anything for denji so it stays like that, also credit to x.zora.k on Instagram for the art.

"Look at that bitch, shamelessly flirting with my man"

"You can't even hear what they're saying"

You and denji were on a date (aki came along to make sure she behaved) when a girl she didn't recognized approached you and started talking to you, apparently you knew her so you two started walking away and talking with each other, which made your girlfriend very very angry.

"I don't need to, look at how she's acting, she's definitely flirting with him"

"I think she's just being friendly"

"As if, I know flirting when I see it"

"Like I said, you can't even hear it"

Denji ignored aki's words and started glaring even deeper at the girl

"What is it?"

".......my bobbs are bigger than hers right?"

"............I'm leaving"

"IT WAS A GENUINE QUESTION, I can't let her take y/n from me"

"And that's what you care about?"

"Obviously"

"*sighs* I need a cigarette"

"You can go get one if you want I'll just-.....*gasp* OK THAT'S ENOUGH"

The chainsaw hybrid was one step away from pulling the string on her chest before being stopped by aki.

"Stop. What happened?"

"DIDN'T YOU SEE THAT? SHE WAS HOLDING HIS HAND, THAT'S WAY TOO FAR"

"That's still no reason to try and kill her"

"B-but what if she's a devil trying to gain his trust to kill him"

"I find it highly unlikely, but go ahead if you want just know that I won't object to any punishment miss makima decides to give you"

"Ugh- fiiiine"

The blonde girl couldn't do anything but groan while waiting that you finished your conversation (while aki went away to not deal with whatever was about to happen)

"Hey babe, sorry if I took too long, we can continue our date now"

"You expect me to act as if nothing happened? You ditch me just to go hang out with some flat chested slut?"

".......she's my sister"

"And I'm not finished yet if you-........wait what?"

"Yeah, she came to Japan without telling me, it's been over two years that I don't see her so I just got so excited, I'm really sorry for what I did though, I should have prioritized you"

"N-no it's fine I should have been more trusting of you"

"Oh were you jealous?"

"Heck yeah I was, she was holds your hand, I should be the only girl allowed to do that.....I-I mean except family members I guess"

You giggled and approached your girlfriend then held both her hands in yours

"Is this better?"

"Yeah thanks"

"I think I know one way to make you realize you're the only girl I love"

You kissed her deeply and after a moment of surprise denji melted into the kiss not letting your mouth go for a while.

"Shit, that felt good, alright you're forgiven"

"I'm glad, how about a cuddle session to make it up to you even more"

"Yay cuddles!"

You held her hand and you started walking together, denji put her head on your shoulder to admire you with a bit of guilt in her eyes.

"Hey, sorry for earlier again, I wanted a boyfriend for so long, so when I got you, I guess I was scared of losing you"

"It's fine, jealousy is totally normal...... just don't insult my sister again"

"Yeah, dont worry......My bobbs really are bigger, though."

"*chuckle* you never change, but I guess that's one of the reasons why I love you"

Denji nuzzled into your shoulder and closed her eyes feeling the warmth of your words seep into pochita

"I love you too"

[rovingotter]

I started writing my own version of the Honda Odyssey scene from Deadpool & Wolverine but I probably won't develop into an entire story so I'm just putting it up here. Canon-typical violence/gore.

Logan had just jammed his claws straight through Wade’s skull, into his brain, and out the other side.  Which was rude.  Wade’s vision went fuzzy and then totally dark, and half his body went limp—it was temporary, he knew, but it was always a little unnerving.  Logan had also decided to be extra rude and entirely miss his frontal lobe, so he could still think about how hurt he was by Logan’s mean-spirited rant.

Couldn’t even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper.

Also, he was dragging Vanessa into this? Hello? Not cool.

They were probably getting a lot of blood on the seats.  Whatever.  It wasn’t his car.

Wade’s right arm still worked, so he fumbled for Baby Knife, yanked it out, and plunged it in what he hoped was the direction of Logan’s face, though it probably wouldn’t make it through his stupid adamantium-enhanced skull.  To his pleasant surprise, however, the knife encountered very little resistance.  There was a roaring scream and then a rubbery pop which let him know he’d gotten Logan right through the eye.

Ha! 

He angled it upward, making it harder for Logan to pull away, and Logan jerked.

Logan went still, panting.  Wade was on his back, on the backseat, and Logan was on top of him, crushingly heavy, damp with sweat, chest heaving.  He spoke slowly, through clenched teeth, every word a strain:  “Get—your knife—out—my fuckin’ head.”

“You first, honeypie.”  Wade was kind of impressed that either one of them could still talk.  Though he was kind of having trouble remembering how they’d gotten into this situation.  They were in a car, and Logan was mean.  That was all he could say for sure.

Logan’s claws were still stuck through Wade’s head, Wade’s movements still jerky and uncoordinated, his vision still absent due to the two-inch-thick wedge of adamantium which was very rudely skewering his visual cortex, but he had a good grip on the knife, most of which was now inside Logan’s skull.  And he wasn’t feeling very charitable.  So he wiggled it around.

Logan gasped.  He tried to pull back, jerked again, and went limp, grunting.  “Uh—fuck—hngh…”

Wade knew it was just pain, but those little grunts sounded distractingly porn-like.  But his anger was still strong enough to overpower his spasm of confused arousal.  “Apologize.”  Wade squeezed the word between clenched teeth.

Logan didn’t answer.

Wade wiggled the knife harder, up and down and side to side, feeling its edges scrape against Logan’s eye socket.  “Say it!”

Still no response.  Logan had gone worryingly limp on top of him, and Wade was starting to wonder if he’d made a mistake.  Logan’s brain regenerated just like Wade’s, sure, but brain regeneration wasn’t always as neat or clean as the rest of the body.  Sometimes memories would be fuzzy or missing afterward.  Also, he didn’t fully understand how well Logan’s brain regenerated.  And he’d just pureed Logan’s whole left frontal lobe.  It probably looked like a meat smoothie now.  It was probably leaking out. What if he didn't get better? What if he turned into a feral beast-man and ran off into the woods to live in harmony with nature? Or started shitting his pants? What if Wade had just broken the Wolverine and he couldn't ever move or talk again? No, no, he was fine. This was fine.

Wade groaned.  “Fuck.”

Logan’s claws were still in Wade’s skull, and Wade still couldn’t move his other arm.  Or either of his legs.  Or see.

“Logan…”  He gulped.  “Logan.  We’ll both pull out on three, okay?”  No response.  “Okay?”

Logan made a weird, whimpery little noise. 

“Peanut.  Hey. Can you hear me?  Can you understand me?”

“N-not…good.”

“Pull out.  Just pull out.  Okay? One—two—three!”

Logan’s claws slid out of Wade’s skull with a shhhk. 

“Agh!  Fuck!” he panted.

Wade tried to pull out the knife, but it was in pretty deep, and trying to remove it was more awkward than he’d anticipated, especially without the use of his own vision, which was returning more slowly than he'd hoped.  Logan growled and jerked back before Wade could manage to maneuver the blade free.

“Logan…”  Wade tried to sit up and flopped back down.  His body felt like a bag of mashed potatoes and his vision—though now returning—was foggy.  He reached out, groping at empty air.

Where was Logan?

Wade paused to catch his breath and give his neurons a chance to knit back together.  His head throbbed, dull hammer-blows in the back of his skull. Nausea rolled over him, then faded.

Slowly, he sat up.  This time, his limbs obeyed him and held.

The car was drenched in blood, the seats stained beyond any hope of cleaning, there were little chunks of pink stuff here and there, and Logan was nowhere to be seen.

Wade, still shaky and uncoordinated, climbed out of the car, landing in a heap on the ground.  Logan was sitting a short distance away, on the dirt, staring blankly into space, Wade's knife still jutting out of his ruined eye. He was breathing heavily.  Blood, dirt and sweat stained his suit.

“You know you can just pull the knife out yourself,” Wade said.

Logan didn’t react.  His remaining eye was wide open, glassy.  He was drooling a little.

Wade crept toward him.  He started to reach out.  Logan flinched back.

“Whoa.  Hey.  It’s okay.  I’m just gonna take this out.  It’ll only hurt for a sec.”  He could already see Logan’s squished eye trying to regenerate, but it was healing around the blade—which would, of course, make it extra unpleasant to remove, but such was life.

He gripped the hilt. Then, bracing himself, he yanked the knife out.  Fast, like pulling off a band-aid.  Logan roared loud enough to startle a nearby flock of crows out of a tree. They flew off into the sky, cawing.

Wade started to wipe the blade off on Logan’s suit, then changed his mind and wiped it off on his own. It was red, anyway.  Logan blinked at him, breathing heavily, as his eye slowly knitted itself back together.

"Do you know your name?" Wade said.

After a pause, he muttered, "Logan." He swallowed. "I...I'm Logan."

"Do you know my name?"

"Wade."

"Good. Now count backwards from ten," Wade said. "And then list every prime minister in reverse alphabetical order. And tell me the square root of pi divided by nine."

"Fuck off."

"You're gonna be fine."

[dengswei]

your gifsets are perfect, I'm always in awe of what you can do and you're creativity!!! Could you please explain how you made the broken glass gif with different gif in it on photopea? https://www.tumblr.com/dengswei/754916132337729536/userdramas-creator-bingo-green-asiandramanet?source=share and would it be possible to do something similar with other shapes? Thank you for your lovely creations <33

heyy thanks so much!! and of course! i have to admit the way i do it might be a little bit tedious compared to like everyone else (though i don't know how photoshop users or other photopea users might do it 🤣) okay this is gonna end up being so long because of the way i do it so i'm sorry about that and i hope it makes sense 😭

okay i have to admit i couldn't find the texture i've seen people use for the shattered glass effect so i actually used a photopea default brush from this pack

to download the brush set go to window -> plugins -> brush and then search for wall cracks brush (it's literally the only wall related brush set in photopea so it'll show up the moment you download it)

so for the gif i did above i did my giffing the usual way of creating & colouring for different gifs seperatly and then adding them all to one project (it doesn't have to be 4 gifs i just chose 4 because that's what i wanted to show in this gif)

i've done this twice once for this set and another time for this the blood of youth set and i have to say the most important part of this is keep multiple versions of the brush in the position you want as you can so once you've used it to test it out and you like that version keep it because unless you can manage to position the brush in the exact same place every time you're gonna need to reference those (or even use the magic wand tool for it later) and also you need to keep at least a white on black background version for the outline

in the brush pack the one i used was this one: (3564, crack b 9)

for this part i just say play around with both positioning and sizing of the brush, it automatically opens with the size 3000+ which is fine i think with the tushan jing one (the green gif above) i stuck with that size and just kept clicking around until i got the positioning i wanted (this is another reason why i said what i said in the paragraph above because if the brush size is bigger than 1000 it's doesn't come out in the exact positioning as you expect it too

i decide the positioning of the gifs on the way i like the brick brush looking rather than the other way around, this is the positioning i went with if you're curious & would like to use it if that's easier 🤣

you'll need to keep this as a seperate layer at the top, i had it set to screen and then added a colour fill layer clipped on later so that i had the outline for when i was masking

so to start off i have the base gif which i do nothing to, that stays as it is, with the brush layer above set to screen

next is where you want to position your other gifs it may benefit to figure this out all at first before doing any of the masking so you know which parts you want to erase and which parts you want to keep

so this is what i decided with my positioning looking at where each of the cracks are

now comes the tedious part, in some ways the way i do this is a lot similar to how i do grid but it's not as easy (for grid photopea automatically locks onto the squares making it easier to mask, here you have to do it all manually)

first put a raster mask on all of the other gifs except for the base gif & use the magic wand tool on the brush layer so you get the outline of the brush and you mask that away from your gif (so if you turned off the brush layer it should look a little something like this: (it's not perfect but it won't matter that much because you should have the original turned on at the end anyway) (you don't have to do this step tbh i just did it because i thought it looked better)

so with the brush layer turned on you can use that as a template to which parts of the cracks you want to erase, you can either use the magic wand or the paint brush tool it really depends on how much of a perfectionist you are and whether or not the sharp edges bother you (plus some of the cracks have small openings so it might erase another part you don't want if you use the magic wand tool so it really is another instance of playing around and seeing what you like, and it might also change once you add the other gifs too)

so this is how it looks after i've done that (notice in the middle you can still see the edge of the gif? that won't matter because one of the other 2 gifs i still have yet to mask will cover that) & just repeat the same thing for the other gifs you want to add

this is how my masking folders look if you're curious

& last but not least i added a green colour fill layer clipped to the brush layer and set that to darken to get the green effect (make sure that the brush layer is still set to screen)

& once you've merged all of the gifs together you should get your desired outcome like the gif above (make sure that all the gifs have the same amount of frames too)

when it comes to other shapes i'm sure you can! like i did a tutorial with the grid version here, i guess it'll just be a lot of trial and error & finding a texture or brush with different shapes to try it out with kinda like how i did with both versions of this (i definitely did it a lot better this time around compared to the first version i did of this)

hopefully this wasn't too long or too confusing, if anything is please feel free to ask me again and i'll try and explain it a little better 🤣

[lost-in-fandoms]

seven words: max w stubble burn on inner thighs

Hello friend, I'm sorry this took so long, the weekend was....that.

cw: explicit sexual content. obviously.

It had come up, once.

Daniel had been in the bathroom, carefully shaving, trying to see on the fogged up mirror, Max just coming out of the shower, wet and flushed, carelessly wrapping a towel around his hips.

"Why do you do that?" Max had asked, coming closer to press his warm chest against Daniel's naked back, hooking his chin on top of Daniel's shoulder, dangerously close to Daniel's still foamed up cheek.

"Do what?" Daniel had nudged him back a little, not wanting to accidentally cut him but not wanting him to let go either, trying to meet Max's eyes in the mirror and only getting a blurred version of them back.

"Shave," Max had said, kissing Daniel's shoulder, hips grinding slightly against him even though he wasn't hard, from what Daniel could tell through the towel.

"You shave too," Daniel had pointed out, nudging him again to be able to tilt his head back to get his jaw better.

Max had just waved a hand, as if Daniel was being stupid on purpose, and had then touched his wrist, stopping his movement and taking the razor from him. He had turned him around, pushing him against the sink, and cupped his neck with a hand, holding him still.

"You can't see in the mirror and are making a mess," he had said, steady and casual, a complete opposite from Daniel's heartbeat, racing in his chest.

"What do you mean, about my shaving?" he had asked after a moment, trying to distract himself from the feeling of Max's fingertips on his skin, his hips keeping Daniel in place.

For a long moment, Max had kept quiet, focusing on Daniel's face.

"I cannot grow a good one, that's why I shave it. And I would not look good in it, I think," he had finally said, glaring at Daniel when he had tried to speak to refute that last point, making him stay still. "But you take care of it, so I do not understand why you keep shaving it."

Daniel had frown, receiving one more look for it, and then had asked: "do you not like it?", which had gained him another. Honestly, how did Max want him to answer questions if he couldn't move?

"You are of course always very handsome, Daniel," Max had rolled his eyes, carefully going over an area Daniel was pretty sure he had already shaved. It had been unclear if it was to prolong the process or because Daniel had missed a spot.

The full answer, obviously, had been too complicated to be put into the right amount of words that wouldn't have ended up with a razor cut on his cheek, so he had deflected instead.

"I do it for you, baby," he had said, using a pause in the shaving in which Max had been rinsing off the razor to throw him a grin, "wouldn't want to give you beard burn."

He had been expecting Max to joke back, or to roll his eyes at him, but Max had averted his eyes instead, a blush creeping suspiciously onto his cheeks.

It had made Daniel raise an eyebrow, suddenly delighted with this new information.

"Unless you like it?" he had prodded, unable to stop his smile from growing.

Max had just blushed more, slapping his shoulder and grabbing his jaw a touch harder than necessary.

"Shut up," he had grumbled, more of a yes than if he had actually said it, "or I'll leave you like this."

Daniel had wanted to tease him more, but he hadn't known how real the threat was, and he had decided to be safe, not wanting to have to walk around with just half a shaved face.

--

No matter what happens in the rest of his life, both on and off track, Daniel is sure he'll never stop feeling lucky knowing he's the only one who gets to have Max like this.

Max, sweating and writhing under him, chest flushed and warm, cheeks a mess of spit and tears, mouth open and drooling. Max, spilling moans, whimpers and pleas on the pillow like a rosary, pearls stringing Daniel's arousal along.

Max, trying to push closer and twist away at the same time, oversensitive and overwhelmed, while Daniel holds him still, both hands clutching the meat of his ass, red imprints on pale skin, as he licks a long, wet stripe from his hole to his balls.

From his position between Max's legs, most of the skin Daniel can see is flushed red. His dick, red and heavy despite Max having come once already, his back, red and shiny with sweat, his ass and thighs, red and raw from Daniel's beard.

He nips at the top of Max's thigh, right over a mark he had left earlier, and Max's whole body shakes as he yelps, hands slipping uselessly on the sheets looking for something to hold onto, even Daniel's name reduced to nothing more than a slurred mess on his tongue.

Daniel licks another stripe back up, purposefully dragging his beard on Max's ass. He would almost feel bad about it if he didn't know how much Max likes it, despite complaining about it the day after, when Daniel has to rub lotion into the irritated skin. If he didn't feel the way Max's thighs shake, didn't hear the way Max's moans go high and breathy.

He doesn't give him a break before shifting his grip on Max's cheeks, putting two fingers back in his hole, tongue tucked between them. Max screams, pushing back and then immediately away, forcing Daniel to wrap his arm around his waist to hold his hips up.

He feels so lucky.

His whole face feels sticky with spit and lube when he pulls back again, watching Max's hole fluttering around the newfound emptiness, leaving Max whimpering. His dick has been so hard for so long Daniel is half worried it will fall off if he doesn't do something about it soon.

He slips a condom on as Max begs for him, impatiently shifting on the bed, so far gone he's moaning even now that Daniel is barely touching him.

He knows it won't take long for either of them to come, but it doesn't matter, not when Max feels so good around him, not when they're both so worked up.

"Bath?" Daniel asks afterwards, drawing circles on Max's back as their breathing slows down.

Max is still pink, heartbeat fast under Daniel's hands, slumped boneless and sated against his chest. He hums, not even opening his eyes, and there's something like pride swirling in Daniel's stomach at the knowledge that he was the one who made him like this.

He trails one hand down further, gently touching Max's ass where his skin is red and raw, making him shudder.

"I'll shave tomorrow," he says, ignoring Max's displeased grumble, "and I'll make sure to use plenty of that lotion you like."

Max grumbles again, rubbing his cheek against Daniel's skin like a cat, sleepy and satisfied.

"You better," he says, sounding more than half asleep already, as if all of this hadn't been his idea anyway.

[katerinaaqu]

Would you describe Odysseus as morally grey?

That is a very good question. It depends on the version. Unfortunately post-homeric sources do tend to depict him from morally gray till villainous.

Ironically I am not sure if I would describe him as "morally gray" for the Odyssey or even the Iliad. I would mostly describe him as "human". Deeply flawed and someone who makes mistakes. But he does seem to flirt a lot with some morally gray decisions such as the taking of Troy which was a war crime no matter what someone puts to it. Even for the ancient standards.

Many of his actions might as well place him as the perfect example of a morally gray person especially if we judge them from the safety of our home. However put them in ancient context in war or a battle for survival then rules massively differ. Was it a morally gray action to sneak into the enemy to gather information? Don't all modern wars include someone who gathers information? If one thinks about Odysseus did what we do with drones nowadays. Was it a morally gray action to lie to Polyphemus and trick him? He was a huge monster that was eating them. I doubt there was any other way to handle him. Was it a morally gray decision to cut the ropes holding his ship during the Laestrygonians misadventure when he saw all his other ships were trapped in the bay and there was no way for them to get out? Thinking back is not that different on when you decide not to jump into a helpless situation for the rescue when you see that your safety and other people's safety is at steak. Was it a morally gray decision to sell himself to Circe so that his men could live? Like yeah one can call him "whore" but did he really have a choice given how he was facing a powerful immortal witch? Was it a morally gray decision to conceal himself and lie on his identity both to the Phaeakes and in Ithaca? Somehow one must admit that when you have been through so much as Odysseus the action doesn't seem so unreasonable

Two clearly gray decisions he made even for those standards was the taking of Troy by trickery at night (night was for burying the dead and resting) and the murder of the suitors because he still needs to cleanse himself from it but even that seems to be done with the blessings of Gods. It seems that the crimes the suitors committed (trampling the laws of Xenia, eating and drinking without bringing something in return, harassing the hosts, conspiring to murder Telemachus etc) called for this punishment according to the gods in the Odyssey. So even if it was undoubtedly a mass murder and was accompanied by the mass excecution of the conspiring maids it seems like the gods approved those as punishment to crimes. Another in the Iliad seems to be the murder of Dolon, the Trojan spy he and Diomedes caught even if he tried to beg for his life. The action was performed by Diomedes but of course Odysseus didn't seem to oppose it at all. In a way though put it in a war context and you realize why there was a mutual mistrust. They couldn't just let go of a spy and they couldn't feed him forever. In one way in harsh warfare one can imagine certain morally gray decisions are taken by all parties...

In conclusion, given that Odysseus does many shady stuff, it would have been very tempting to answer "yes" to your question. However i think that wouldn't do him justice when it comes to the original homeric poems. Odysseus is a sneaky figure but he is also described as pious and faithful to the gods to the point of Zeus saying there is no better man than him in offering sacrifices to the gods and showing respect. Odysseus knows the different between right and wrong and comments on it many times. That seems to be backed up with some merciful moves he makes for instance he warns one of the suitors who was young and he felt pity to kill him to get out of the palace while he still could, advice which was not heeded by the young man or when he wants to be absolutely sure on the identity of the people he has around him thus not accepting his judgement to be clouded by any biased person no matter how much he cared of them giving that he is also just and careful. Now would I use the term "morally gray"? Only for the fact that he seems capable of performing certain actions under the table or cheating (see funerary matches of Patroclus) but somehow I think that wouldn't do him full justice when it comes to the original homeric poems.

Now post-homeric Odysseus? Absolutely seems to be fitting the bill of morally grayness better. He conspires, he cheats and he looks after himself. At those too we have some versions in which even with those decisions the title doesn't seem to fit but it definitely fits better.

I am sorry for the long reply but I hope that answers your question. It was a very interesting question and thank you for putting it!

[disasterbuck]

Buck, you have food on your face

706 words inspired by this instagram video: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C72LNWTNb82/

read Eddie’s version here

Wiping his hands on his napkin, Eddie turned to look at Buck and see how close he was to finishing his burrito. The two of them were sitting on Eddie's couch, a documentary on bees playing on the TV while they ate.

Buck had already finished eating and was now simply absorbed in the film, eyes glued to the screen. He had a smudge of sauce on his cheek which he seemed unaware of, and Eddie smiled fondly before tapping his shoulder to get his attention.

It took a moment for Buck to tear his eyes away from the screen, engrossed as he was. When Eddie finally had his attention, he pointed at Buck's cheek and then tapped his own to indicate where the sauce was.

Without pausing, Buck leaned over with a smile to kiss Eddie's cheek.

Eddie froze.

"That's… not… You have sauce on your face!" Eddie stammered.

"What?" Buck frowned and put a hand to his cheek, finding the sauce. Looking extremely embarrassed as he reached for his napkin, he muttered, "Oh."

Heart racing, Eddie was silent as Buck cleaned his face. The documentary kept droning on in front of them, talking about how bees would use different dances to communicate information to the rest of the hive, and Eddie tried resolutely not to think about how natural it had felt to have Buck kiss his cheek.

"Are you okay?" Buck asked after a moment, and Eddie was surprised to see him staring not at the TV but at him.

"I'm fine," he said weakly.

"Are you sure?" Buck pressed. "Cause you look like you've seen a ghost."

"I just wasn't expecting you to kiss me," Eddie admitted, then instantly regretted his words as his mind provided him with an image of a very different kiss to the one that had just happened.

"Sorry," Buck said, his face flushing a beautiful pink. "I don't know why I thought that's what you wanted me to do."

"It's okay," Eddie said quickly, not wanting Buck to get down in his feelings. "I liked it."

"You did?" Buck looked over at him hopefully, eyes so wide and blue that Eddie didn't have a chance to chastise himself for letting the words slip out. Buck was so beautiful and so eager. How could Eddie do anything but tell the truth?

"Yeah," he said quietly. "I did."

A shy smile slowly curled Buck's lips and Eddie swallowed nervously when he realised they were getting closer to each other. He wasn't sure which of them had moved, or whether it was both of them, but soon Buck's nose bumped against his and Eddie parted his lips in an uncontrollable gasp.

"Can I kiss you?" Buck whispered.

"You're missing the documentary," Eddie murmured, inwardly cursing himself for saying something so inane.

Smirking, Buck shifted to graze his lips across Eddie's cheek again. "Yes or no," he breathed, the words hot against Eddie's skin.

Eddie meant to answer, to say yes. But when he tried to he found that his lips were otherwise occupied. Without consciously deciding to, he'd taken Buck's face in his hands and pressed their lips together eagerly and now he couldn't make himself stop.

Thankfully, Buck wasn't objecting.

Surprising himself with his boldness, Eddie found himself climbing onto Buck's lap and deepening the kiss, swallowing every groan and gasp that came from Buck's mouth. The kiss turned slightly feverish, lips sucking and tongues searching and hands gripping, clutching, touching. Buck tasted like the burrito he'd just eaten; it was delicious.

Suddenly, the room was plunged into darkness as a power cut killed the lights and the television. Eddie sat back on Buck's thighs, staring at the outline of his face in the darkness.

"Was that us?" Buck asked with a delighted chuckle.

"Sure," Eddie said sarcastically. "Our kiss was so powerful it killed the lights."

Buck's hands slid to Eddie's ass and gave a gentle, teasing squeeze.

"That was like getting struck by lightning," Buck whispered reverently. "But better."

Eddie wanted to tell him off for referencing the lightning strike, but there was a lump in his throat. So instead of speaking, he leaned in for another kiss.

As their lips met, the power came back on.

-

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