#I couldn’t just leave well enough alone

[elleaitch22]

Terms of Endearment

Chapter 8: The Lie of Quiet

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

A/N: I'm still sleep deprived. I hope you guys love it! xx Elle

Warnings: Panic attack, mentions of past abuse, slight homophobia

Word Count: 4.1k

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Azzi woke up slowly, just like she had been doing the past few days. It was nice to not have to be up before the Sun every day. She smiled to herself realizing she didn’t really have any plans today. Granted, she needed to figure out what she was going to do next, but according to Paige, she had no reason to rush.

Her phone vibrated on her nightstand. Brow furrowed; she turned it over.

Paige Bueckers.

Why the hell was Paige calling her at 6:30 in the morning?

“Hello?” She spoke softly.

“Good morning, Azzi. Sorry to call so early, but I have a meeting at 7:30, so I won’t be able to take Soleil on her school tour. I know it’s last minute, but can you get her ready and take her?”

Azzi didn’t think Paige took a breath. “Let’s calm down. I’ll come up now.”

She pulled an oversized hoodie over her pajamas, slid into her slippers, and headed up to the penthouse.

She was in another suit. God. Azzi needed her to stop wearing those. They made her brain and her face overheat. She was so freaking hot, and Azzi couldn’t have her.

“Hey, Az.” That nickname. Again! Blue eyes trailed from her fuzzy slides, up to her bare legs, the tiny strip of her pink pajama shorts, to the big gray sweatshirt, finally landing on her face and messy bun. “You’re making it hard to want to leave for work.”

Azzi’s face was burning up. “Oh! Th-thanks.”

The smirk on Paige’s face turned into a genuine smile, small, but there. “Thank you for covering on such short notice. It’s just a new client, and they’re going to bring in millions if it goes well.”

Azzi exhaled, walking to the couch. “No problem! What all do you need me to do with Soleil today?”

“It was supposed to be a chill morning for us. We were gonna go out for breakfast, go to Four Oaks Christian to see if it would be a better fit, have lunch, maybe watch a movie. I hate missing time with her for fucking meetings.” She sighed.

Azzi’s eyes widened. “You want me to tour another Christian school after everything that happened yesterday?”

Paige’s blue eyes locked onto the doe-eyed ones. “I made sure they knew she had a gay mom. Said it’s fine and they respect all kinds of families.” She shrugged. “It’s just a tour. You know what a school needs, and I trust you. You’ll know if that place is good enough for Lei or not.”

Eyes wide, Azzi choked out, “You’d trust me with a choice that big?”

“Azzi, I told you. You’re family now. That means I trust you. Means we all trust you.”

Warmth blossomed in Azzi’s chest. She had forgotten what it felt like to be trusted, needed, accepted. “O-okay. I’ll make sure to take notes for you.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I promise I trust your judgement.” She smiled.

Azzi’s ears rang. Paige smiled. At her this time. The first smile she’d seen that wasn’t directed to one of her sisters or Soleil. It was a smile for Azzi.

God, she had to get a handle on this stupid crush.

She was snapped out of her trance by the press of cold metal on her hand. She felt a slight spark when Paige’s fingers brushed over hers. “Here’s my card. Whatever you need goes on here.” She paused, smirking. “Actually, I’m gonna check and make sure you spent enough for breakfast and lunch for two people. If it’s not up to my standards, you’ll be receiving a nice gift from me.”

Azzi rolled her eyes.

She’s so dramatic. She thinks. But she likes to take care of you. The other side of her brain helpfully provides. Yeah, because you’re like a sister to her. She literally just told you that you’re family now.

“I’m gonna tell Soleil bye, then I’ll be out of your hair. She’ll wake up and come out when she’s ready. Please just make sure you’re at the school by 11.”

And Azzi was left alone. She plopped down on the sofa, turning on Zootopia. She scrolled on TikTok, volume down so she could hear Soleil when she wakes up.

After a while, she heard light footsteps. A lump of fuzz crawled onto the couch, burrowing into Azzi’s side.

“Good morning, Soleil.” Azzi whispered.

She got a grunt in return and let out a light giggle at the lack of energy. She had no idea Soleil could be this still.

The two stayed cuddled on the couch until the movie ended. “Okay, Pretty Face. We gotta get ready. We’ve got a busy day ahead of us.”

A mumbled “Kay,” and two outstretched arms was all Azzi got in response.

She helped the girl brush her teeth and wash her face. She sat cross-legged on the floor while she waited for Soleil to pick an outfit.

After she’s dressed in a yellow gingham romper, Soleil approached Azzi shyly.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Azzi brushed the girl’s hair from her face.

“Wan you to do my haiw.” She mumbled. “Please?”

Azzi smiled. “Of course I’ll do your hair! I thought you’d never ask!”

Soleil giggled. The first sign of normalcy from the girl.

“Let’s get your shoes on, and we can do your hair downstairs at my house.”

Two bubble braids and a pair of stark white Converse later, Soleil was ready. Azzi was very much not.

She was slicking her damp hair into a ponytail, going through different outfit options in her head. She should probably look the part. She should look like she could afford a thirty-thousand-dollar tuition. She should look like one of those moms who had it all together — the kind who dropped their kids off at school, hit Pilates, cleaned the house, baked dessert, and finished laundry before pickup. Even though she didn’t belong, she needed to look like she did, for Soleil and Paige’s sake.

Before her mind could spiral, Soleil’s voice called out from her closet. “We match?”

Azzi was secretly grateful that the girl had helped her eliminate some choices on what to wear. “Of course, sweetie!”

She met the girl who was holding on to one of the yellow dresses, much too short to pull it off the hanger. The dress was perfect. It would hit the middle of her calf, and it had thick straps with a neckline that covered most of her cleavage. She decided to pair it with woven wedges, a matching purse, and a pair of sunglasses.

Soleil came up to hold her hand while she looked in the mirror. They made a cute pair.

Azzi made sure to grab Paige’s black card off the table before meeting Morgan downstairs.

Today, Morgan was driving Paige’s everyday car instead of the Escalade. “Hi Mo!” Soleil greeted cheerfully.

Morgan replied back just as happily, and the two launched into a conversation as Azzi buckled the girl in.

“Good morning, Morgan. We’re headed to Wheat’s End Café.”

The ride to the café was short but filled with lighthearted comments from Soleil about being happy to stay home from school today.

The two of them walked into the café, hands tight in each other’s grasp. Azzi saw that shyness peeking out of Soleil again, almost shocked at how quickly she hid into herself. She took a picture of the menu and pulled the girl to the side, so they could talk about what they wanted in private.

“So, do you want something sweet or something meaty?” Soleil pointed to a picture of a cinnamon roll and a chocolate chip waffle. “How about we get one of each and share?”  Soleil nodded, burrowing her face in Azzi’s neck. “We can get some fruit and some bacon too, and maybe a bagel and lox for Morgan.”

Azzi hoisted her up and held her quietly until they got to the front of the line. “Do you want to tell the barista what you want, Lei?” She burrowed her hair into Azzi’s neck, even more than before.

“My daughter is shy like that too. What would you to like to get?” The barista smiled gently.

Azzi’s smile faltered a bit at the woman’s assumption. She couldn’t have known any better, the matching dresses and closeness definitely made them look like a mother-daughter duo. She put in her order quickly, adding two hot chocolates, getting the order just as quickly.

Morgan drove them to Lakeshore East Park and started on her bagel while Soleil and Azzi found a table in the shade. Soleil sits quietly while Azzi sets out the fruit, bacon, part of the muffin and waffle. When Azzi blows on her hot chocolate before giving it to the little one, who smiles. “Mommy does that too.”

“There she is,” Azzi grins. “I didn’t think you were ever gonna talk to me again!”

Soleil giggles, “I don’t like new people. Mommy telled me stwangews not safe.”

“Your mommy is right, like always. But you don’t have to worry when you’re with me. I got you Lei Lei.”

She nodded, looking at her food. “Awe these gluten fwee? I don’t wanna get sick.” Soleil asked, face falling slightly.

Azzi gasped, placing a hand over her heart. “Of course they are gluten free! I’m allergic too.”

The smile that stretched across Soleil’s face was worth all the gluten-filled foods Azzi would miss out on. “Nobody else was gluten fwee. Now we can be best fwiends!”

She crawled into Azzi’s lap, content to eat her breakfast in her lap. Their informal breakfast date was filled with giggles and jokes about any and everything.

They ended breakfast full and happy. Azzi snapped a selfie with her and Soleil’s syrup and icing covered face and sent it to Paige.

Azzi: Soleil is a MENACE. a perfect, cute, sugar-coated menace 😍 10/10 would recommend.

She’s just finished wiping her face when she gets a reply.

Paige Bueckers: She gets it from me. You can do this every day if you want. We’d love it

A little shocked and flushed, Azzi hearts the message, while she and Soleil walk back to the car.

Azzi: heading to four oaks christian now. will lyk how it goes

“Okie dokes Soleil. We’re going to see a new school. I know you get a little nervous when you go somewhere new, but that’s okay. I’ll be right there with you, and if you don’t like it, we don’t have to stay! I just want you to try, and then we’re going to pick up lunch and go home. And we can eat and watch a movie if you want?”

Soleil’s brows furrowed with determination. “I twy my best.” She paused. “And I want Fwozen.”

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Four Oaks Christian School was a nice school. It would take about an hour to get there in the mornings, but the view of Lake Michigan made it worth it. The campus didn’t even look like you were still in Cook County; full frees lined the road. It was quiet out here, and Azzi felt the stillness may work well for Soleil.

Soleil reached for Azzi’s hand, grip firm as they walked to the office. Her romper looked bright against the landscape; sunshine personified. Seeing a few parents getting in and out of cars, Azzi smiled knowing her dress made her look like she belonged in the PTA meetings and lunch bunch clubs.

When a smidge of doubt started to peak in, Azzi felt Soleil grip her hand a little tighter, looking up with a nervous face. She didn’t have time to be insecure; Soleil needed her to be steady.

Soleil’s grip tightened the closer the got to the front desk, but after Azzi checked them in, the girl stood next to her, instead of hiding behind her legs. Small victory.

A bubbly redhead came up to them. “Good morning. My name is Ms. Clarkson We are here for a school tour for Little Miss Soleil Bueckers, right?” She knelt, much like Azzi did the first time she met the girl. “Hello Soleil. I like how you’re matching with your mommy!” She smiled. “I have shoes just like yours too!”

Before Azzi could correct the woman, Soleil had muttered a quiet, “Thank you.” She’d pushed herself closer to Azzi, but she was proud of the girl for trying so hard.

Azzi felt her shoulders drop a little when the woman turns away from them to lead them deeper into the school.

The three of them walked to all areas Soleil would see during the school year. The cafeteria had fresh fruits and vegetables and a separate prep area for children with allergies. She would go to art and music classes twice a week, but she had PE every day. Science classes occurred on Tuesdays and Thursdays, while she would have Spanish on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

They had chapel the first thing every morning. “As we are a Christian school, we provide instruction about the attributes of God and character of Christ. Every week, the children learn about a new virtue, and they talk about it every morning in chapel. They will have many opportunities to work on these virtues throughout the week, and the child with the most positive points in each class will be recognized at Friday chapel.”

Ms. Clarkson continued to add little facts here and there. Parents were always able to come have lunch whenever they wished. There were multiple security guards throughout campus. People couldn’t get into buildings or classrooms without being buzzed in or with a badge (Paige would love that). Soleil would have a buddy in second grade to help her adjust to any changes, and once she got to second grade, she would get her own little buddy.

Once they approached the two preschool classes, Ms. Clarkson spoke a little quieter, only to Azzi. “She seems a bit shy, but if she would like, she could sit in Mrs. Russell’s class. That’s the class she would be in you decided to send her here. It shouldn’t be too overwhelming; our classes are very small. There would only be five other students in there with Soleil.”

Azzi nodded and thanked the woman, guiding Soleil a few feet away. “How you feeling, sweetheart?”

Soleil shrugged a bit, “It’s pweety. But want you to be my teachew.”

Azzi’s heart clenched, like it always did when Soleil said something sweet. “Well do you wanna see how the other teacher is? It doesn’t mean you have to stay with her. Just trying it out, okay?” Soleil nodded. “If you don’t want to, you don’t need to. We can go get lunch and go home right now.”

She tugged at the hem of her romper, shuffling her feet nervously. “I twy. But I can come back?”

Azzi touched her forehead to the girl’s. “You can come back whenever.”

With a nod, Soleil let herself be guided into the classroom. Azzi stood back and watched Soleil introduce herself to the group.

She slowly and silently backed out of the room to finish the tour with Ms. Clarkson.

“So, do you have any questions for me?” Ms. Clarkson beamed.

Azzi inhaled deeply. “Soleil was just pulled out of St. Paul’s because of their views on our family. She was getting bullied about it, and we’re not putting up with that again. How do we make sure that doesn’t happen?”

Ms. Clarkson’s brows pinched together. “I’m so sorry she had to go through that. At Four Oaks, we have a zero-tolerance policy for bullying, for any reason. We also teach the children that we must be accepting of all people, no matter their background, religion, race, wealth. We pride ourselves on creating close classroom communities where children wouldn’t even think of picking on others.”

Azzi nodded, finally able to breathe a little easier. She let Ms. Clarkson go through the student handbook and list the extracurriculars and parent nights they offered. She noted all of them, making sure to listen more intently on things Soleil would like. She wanted to make sure she could give a comprehensive report to Paige.

She watched Soleil through the window. After a few minutes, Soleil had come out of her shell a bit, raising her hand to give input about the story Mrs. Russell was reading. Once the story was over, she sat next to a darker skinned girl. She shared her crayons and paper with Soleil.

Azzi snapped a picture of a bright smile and sent it to Paige immediately.

Azzi: maybe got a winner? 🤩🤩 sunny girl loves it!

Paige Bueckers: She’s shining already. Thank you so much, Azzi.

When 1:00 rolls around, Mrs. Russell’s class moves into silent reading time, and it’s time for Soleil to go.

Completely gone is the shy girl from an hour ago. “Mrs. Wussell’s woom smells like candy! Did you see my new fwiend? Hew name is Mia!” She reached her arms up, and once Azzi had Soleil perched on her hip, the girl went on her tangent.

Ms. Clarkson walked them back to the front office, and Azzi took advantage of the deep breath Soleil paused to take and turned towards the redhead. “Thank you so much for the tour; she loved it. I’ll talk to Paige, and she should be getting back to you all this evening.”

Azzi walked to the car with Soleil on one arm and the student handbook, tuition paperwork, and enrollment packet in the other.

The sun was bright in their eyes, and Azzi knew Soleil’s future at Four Oaks could be just as bright.

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Their day had been perfect. They had a perfectly delicious breakfast at the park. They had found the perfect school for Soleil (even though she said she still wanted Azzi to be her teacher). They had picked up pho from Azzi’s favorite Vietnamese restaurant. They were heading home to watch Frozen and pig out on the delicious soup.

Nothing can stay perfect for long though.

Downtown Chicago was always busy. People always knocking into each other without a second glance. For this reason, Azzi held Soleil close to her chest, having the little girl wrap her arms around Azzi’s neck before they got out of the car. Morgan had pulled as close as possible to Aurelia’s doors. She’d offered to carry the food up to the penthouse, since Azzi’s arms were full of Soleil.

Azzi was it three steps from the car before she saw him.

When she’d looked out of the car window and caught the first glance of the slicked back blond hair, her breath hitched a bit.

But she talked herself down. There was no way anyone had already found out she’d moved to Aurelia. And in a flash, the hair had disappeared. She was just anxious and wound up because of all of the people.

She exhaled deeply. Morgan came around to open the door for Azzi and Soleil.

Adjusting her grip on the girl, she slid out of the Range Rover smoothly.

With the first step, she felt a heated gaze on her. Not like the one from Paige this morning, the kind that made her warm inside. No. This gaze made her spine go straight.

With the second step, her eyes darted around. Eager to find who was staring at her and making all the hair on her arms stand up. So focused she didn’t hear Morgan calling her name.

The third steps she took had her locking eyes with him.

He found her.

Grant found her.

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Paige had a spending problem. Not all the time, but when she decided to spend money, she went big every time.

She wasn’t impulsive. She was comparing cars, seeing which one she should get next. She’d narrowed it down to the Aston Martin DBX707 and the Porsche 911 Turbo S. They could both fit Lei’s car seat in the back. There were both performance cars, and the cost for each was well over 100,000. But Paige had just signed her biggest client of the year; she deserved a treat.

Before she could compare the engines, her phone rang. MoChellie.

Paige’s heart stopped for a second. What the fuck happened for Morgan to be calling her?

She took a deep breath, answering the call.

But before she could say anything, she could hear whimpering in the background. Soleil.

“Morgan wha –”

The chauffeur cut her off frantically. “I need you to get here. Like now.” She rushed out. “I don’t even know what happened. I was dropping them off, and we got out, and Azzi just starts looking around like crazy. Holding on to Soleil real tight. She looked scared. And I thought it was just a lot of people or something. But then she got real stiff, and I couldn’t even ask her nothing before she was back in the car with Soleil.”

Paige was already up and on the elevator to the lobby before Morgan had started the second sentence. “Where are you now, Mo?”

“I haven’t moved! Azzi still has Soleil in her lap, and I don’t wanna drive if she’s not in her seat.”

“Alright, I’m on the way. Stay on the phone and let me know if anything changes. Try to get her to calm down, okay?”

Paige made it to Aurelia in record time. Spotting the car the girls are in, she turned off her McLaren with the push of a button, rushing to the SUV.

She probably shouldn’t have knocked on the window. She could tell that she’d startled Azzi. The brunette’s eyes were wide, wild, and wet.

Paige yanked open the door roughly and pulled Azzi and Soleil out of the car. She didn’t let Azzi say anything, just pulled the two of them into her body and moved them into the lobby.

She knew the three of them were getting strange looks from people in the lobby, but she didn’t care. She just needed to get Azzi and Soleil somewhere safe, so she could figure out whatever the fuck was going on.

As soon as the elevator doors shut, Paige let out a deep breath.

“I think she saw someone in the crowd.” Paige jumped, forgetting Morgan was following her. “I think that’s what freaked her out.”

Paige nodded, “Thanks for getting them back to the car Morgan.” Her eyes drop to the bag of food. “You can keep that, and I’ll DoorDash something. You’re off the rest of the week.”

“Thanks P,” Morgan says as the elevator dings. “I’ll see you later. Let me know if y’all need anything.”

Paige walked them off the elevator, giving Morgan a head nod before the doors closed again.

After guiding Azzi to sit on the couch, Paige went to take Soleil from her arms.

“No.” Azzi’s arms tightened around the girl, voice sharp.

“Hey, hey, Az. It’s me. It’s just Paige.” Her hand came up to cup her tanned cheek.

Big brown eyes fluttered, head shaking a bit. Azzi’s eyes met Paige’s, and her arms fell limply to her side. “I – I – I’m so sorry, Paige. I just – I didn’t know. And he just – I don’t –” Tears filled her eyes again as she tried to explain.

“It’s okay, Azzi. I’m gonna put Lei down. I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” Paige said softly.

Paige was unsure how Soleil was able to fall asleep with all of the commotion, and thought maybe it wasn’t as bad as it seemed.

Azzi was in the exact same spot, still like a statue.

“Can you tell me what happened, Azzi?” Paige sat next to her.

“He found me. My ex – Grant – he found me, and he was waiting outside. I thought he was gonna get Soleil. Didn’t want her to get hurt. I’m sorry, I just wanted her to be safe.” A whimper escaped, and Azzi shot up, turning to the elevator. “I have to go.”

At this, Paige stood quickly. “Wait, wait, wait.” She said reaching for Azzi, hands dropping when Azzi flinched. “Azzi, you don’t need to go anywhere.”

“But he found me. He’s gonna be pissed. I don’t want you to get hurt.” Tears were falling down her face fast now.

Paige raised her hands and moved towards Azzi slowly, “Did he hit you, Azzi?”

Another flinch and whimper. “Only once. I left that night.”

The blonde pulled her into a tight hug, her body tense with rage. She took a deep breath, noting the man’s name. She’d have Ash look into him. “That’s good Azzi. You got away from him, and you don’t have to go back.”

Pagie tugged her closer. One hand on her waist, one hand on the back of her neck. Azzi melted into Paige’s embrace. Then, sobs racked her body.

“It’s okay, Azzi. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

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A/N: I had to end it here, or this would’ve been a 6k word chapter! I’m hoping to be able to post the next chapter by tonight! Go Wings!! xx Elle

[planet-hwa]

BAD BOY FACADE CHAPTER 7 — 산

. . . ⇢ previous chapter  ◦  series masterlist word count 4.1k

warnings     swearing, overthinking, smoking

❝ and tell me why does my heart burn when i see your face ❞ 🎧 now playing   heartburn ; wafia

“Dude, where the hell have you been?” Mingi asked, watching as the door to Wooyoung’s den, aka their casual hangout spot in the back of his parents yard, opened and gazing his eyes over San’s bruised body. “Shit, you look like… well, shit.”

“Fuck off, I look better than you on a good day.” San scoffed, Mingi’s eyes widening in offence but not returning with an argument, because he knows he’d lose.

San flopped his tired body down onto the leather couch, closing his eyes and throwing his head back, it was still throbbing from the heavy punches of the previous night. Wooyoung was quick to notice the bandages wrapped around his hands, curious as to where they came from. He knew San never cared if he got hurt, let alone if his injuries became infected from the lack of treatment he’d give them, so seeing him with cleaned cuts and tight wrappings was definitely suspicious.

“We went by your house but your mum said you didn’t come home,” Wooyoung mentioned, his eyes still wary and glued to San’s hands. “Where’d you get those?”

San lifted his head and squinted his eyes at the boy, before following his gaze onto his hands, the memory of you wrapping them for him returning. But he couldn’t tell Wooyoung it was you, so all he said was. “Just from a friend.”

“That’s not possible, we’re your only friends.” Jongho chimed in, the sarcastic comment earning him the finger from San, Mingi laughing squeakily on the sideline before returning to shoveling food into his large mouth.

Wooyoung, in his unusually sober state, could easily read that San was lying. He had a feeling he knew exactly where San was as well, because he happened to end up out the front of a familiar house too, but he would never let that slip. Wooyoung pinched at the bloody fabric of the bandage, causing San to wince and flinch his hand away, rubbing it soothingly and death glaring at the oreo-haired boy.

“But seriously, where were you?” He lowered his voice, not encouraging the engagement of the other two boys, who feasted on the food Wooyoung’s mother brought in for them.

“I just told you,” San snapped slightly, lowering his head against the back of the couch once more. “With a friend.” Wooyoung hummed sceptically.

“That ‘friend’ didn’t happen to be Y/N, right?” San’s head snapped to face the boy, watching as Wooyoung’s eyebrow cocked up at his quick reaction. “Seriously dude, what is your obsession with this chick?”

He rolled his eyes and ignored the question, not wanting to bring any more attention to the topic. But Wooyoung was always persistent, and could never leave well enough alone. He poked and prodded at San with questions about you before the boy finally snapped.

“And where did you go after, Woo?” San taunted, a slight smirk curling on his lips — he also had a suspicious feeling about how his friend’s night ended.

“Home.” Wooyoung quickly answered, leaving no room for suspicion.

But if he wanted to push San, he was gonna push back. “Oh really, whose home?”

Wooyoung stood up in a haste with tight fists, drawing the attention of the two other boys. He stared down at San, intense aggression held in his gaze before storming out of the den. The three remaining boys watched as he slammed the door, hard enough for it to shake the room, Mingi and Jongho returning to feast in silent confusion. San rolled his eyes at the two boys, as well as at Wooyoung’s attitude of not being able to take what he dishes out.

Finally with a sense of privacy, San pulled his phone from his pocket, checking for any notifications only to be met with a blank screen. His brows furrowed in confusion, definitely expecting to have received at least one message from you, maybe checking where he went and how he was feeling — but there was nothing.

Truly, what did he expect though? He was the one who left before you woke, though he quietly observed you before leaving, before making a swift exit like he usually would with a one time girl. Yet, you weren’t a one time girl, the two of you didn’t sleep together. He didn’t know what you were exactly, these feelings were ones he was discovering for the first time, and he didn’t know how to handle them.

So, he did the thing he was best at.

Ignoring.

________________________

Waking up with the absence of San next to you was a bit of a shock. The clothes he borrowed were folded neatly on the floor, along with the blankets and pillows he slept with on the mattress which he tucked underneath your bed. It was like he was never there.

You grabbed your phone and glanced at the bright screen, scrolling through your notifications in search of a message from him, but there was nothing. As you started to get ready for school, you couldn’t help but think about why he left without any notice. Maybe he was in a rush, or maybe he felt unwelcome — maybe he regretted showing up at your front door in the first place. If your brain didn’t overthink every scenario with negative impact, it would probably come up with a reasonable solution, but it can’t do that.

You picked up the clothes he borrowed, the scent of his cologne having rubbed off on them and was traveling into your nose, before throwing them into your laundry and packing the pillows and blankets away. The sound of a honking came from outside, glancing out your window and Yeosang’s car in the driveway and hurrying down the stairs. You climbed into the front seat, throwing your bag on the floor before turning to Yeosang, who held a shocked expression on his face.

“You will not believe who showed up at my house last night.”

For the entire drive to school, he explained the whole story of the prior night and the unexpected visit of a certain person, but you weren’t paying too much attention. In your defense you were thinking about your visitor, who you were keeping to yourself for now because you know exactly how Yeosang would react. He would remind how much of a bad person San is, according to him, and how he would just use you and leave you to rot once he got bored. And although that may be true, you needed to find that out for yourself, even if you got hurt.

So the second you arrived at school, your eyes were scanning the courtyard for San, catching a quick glance of the back of his head walking into school with his clique. As if he could feel your gaze on him, even from afar, he turned his head and met your eyes instantly. Your soft expression turned to a confused one the moment he avoided the contact, acting as if he never saw you. It tugged at your heartstrings a little more than you would’ve expected.

Maybe this was the side of him Yeosang warned you about — his true self.

But it made no sense: how can the kind, soft spoken and respectful boy from last night turn so cold? Yes, his motto seemed to be ‘sleep with the girl than ignore her existence’, but the two of you didn’t even have sex, not even sleeping in the same bed even after you offered; an offer that he denied.

So why was he ignoring you?

The only thing you could do was ask him in the homeroom, where his designated seat was right next to you, making you completely unavoidable for him. When the bell indicated the time to go to class, you wandered to your seat, quickly noticing the absence of your seat partner. The second bell rang as you prepared for the class, and there was still no sign of San. You had seen him walk into school, you knew he was here, yet he wasn’t in class. Was he really going this far to avoid you?

Your question was answered 15 minutes into the class, where the broad-shouldered boy entered late and quietly sat down next to you. He didn’t meet your eyes once, not muttering a single word to you. There was a pair of eyes watching you though, the feeling of them burning into the back of your skull tickled at the hairs on your neck, turning to see a deep glare directed at your table by Wooyoung. You weren’t sure why he was staring at you like that, but you noticed his glare switching between you and San with the same intensity.

Confusion was too weak of a word to explain the feelings you felt, it was far beyond confusion. There was a sense of hurt underneath it, along with slight distrust. After fixing up all his injuries and sharing a gentle yet intimate moment with him, all he wanted to do was ignore you. You remained quietly with yourself for the entire class, only sneaking glances at San who still refuses to give you any sort of attention.

It wasn’t until a few minutes before the lunch bell rang that a small piece of folded paper was silently slid towards you, a quick glance was enough to notice the blurred writing underneath. You didn’t touch it, your silent way of showing that San had upset you, and he picked up on it. Glancing between you and the untouched piece of paper, he sighed lightly but loud enough for you to hear it. Once the bell rang, he was quick to leave the classroom and give you the privacy of reading his note. And once he was out of your sight, you finally brought your attention to it, written with the pen he always secretly steals from you (with and without your knowledge).

‘meet me under the bleachers during lunch’

So now he wanted to talk to you, after ignoring you for the past two hours?

It made you angry in a sense, that he didn’t want to acknowledge you in front of people but it was okay if you were alone and hidden from the rest of the school. It also made you reluctant to even meet him, waiting to see how lunch would go first.

You exited the classroom shortly after, discarding the note in the bin on your way out and making your way towards your designated trio spot, Seonghwa and Yeosang already in place. As you made your way through the courtyard, you noticed the lack of stares from earlier in the week, after your humiliation caused by Yunho and Hiraya’s declaration of love for each other. Though a few people still whispered and murmured when you’d walk past them down the hall, you noticed that most of it was because of pity for you and not in a teasing or degrading way.

“I can’t believe he showed up to your house in the middle of the night!” You heard Seonghwa gasp as you sat down next to him. “What did he want?”

Yeosang paused for a second, staring and swirling his fork through his food before stuttering out an answer. “Oh, I uhh, I’m not sure. I didn’t let him talk much.”

Knowing Yeosang a long time meant you picked up on the little ticks from when he would lie, and you noticed his eyebrow twitch just before he spoke. You also knew that it was extremely unlikely for him to turn away anyone, especially Wooyoung, in such an unstable state. And although Yeosang didn’t specify his appearance, you noticed the bruises on his face earlier this morning in the homeroom, the same one that matched San’s face. And considering the state that he showed up at your house in, you could only imagine what a physical and emotional wreck Wooyoung was to go to his ex’s house. But you weren’t going to poke and prod at Yeosang for answers, especially since you didn’t plan on telling him about your guest either.

“I heard that he and his gang got into it with the White Guardians.” Seonghwa claimed, glancing over at the table of four before redirecting his eye contact back to the two of you.

“Yeah, he was pretty bloody and bruised when he showed up.” Yeosang remembered the image of his ex in such a state and caused him to wince slightly. “But that’s a usual Friday night for them.”

“Who are the White Guardians?”

Seonghwa was shocked that you hadn’t heard of them, but then again, you’re not from the side of town that they enjoy to torment and tease. And yet, no matter what side of town you were from, everyone knew of the drama between the two gangs. How they used to work together, exchanging drugs for information until the inevitable end of it all. Seonghwa was quick to catch you up on everything, though your attention was being drawn away once again by a fierce set of feline eyes that glared from across the courtyard.

San watched you intensely, noticing the absence you held in your group’s conversation. It was like the two of you were having a conversation between the far eye contact you held, picking up on the way he nodded his head towards the exit. Before you could process what was happening, he quickly stood up and walked out of the busy courtyard, sending you another indicating glance before exiting.

You knew he was headed to the bleachers, where he wanted you, but how could you leave without causing any suspicion. Your only thought was to come up with a ridiculous excuse. “I just remembered, I have to talk to Ms Waltz about… something.”

“Oh, really?” Yeosang whined, knowing lunch times were the only periods during school that the two of you shared. His attempt at pleading puppy eyes was shut down with your haste to leave. “Fiiine~ we’ll see you next break.”

And with that lame excuse, you left the courtyard without any indication of a lie and headed straight for the football field. In all honesty, you weren’t sure if it was the best idea to see San, but you were desperate for an explanation. Whether or not he was going to give you one was completely up to him.

As you ducked under the bleachers, the scent of cigarettes filled your nose, an intoxicating smell coming from the boy who waited for you. You watched as he held the dart between his two fingers, turning his head from you to puff out the toxic smoke.

“Hey princess,” His voice was soft, holding a sultry undertone. He held the cigarette out to you. “Want a puff?”

Your face cringed at the smell, never holding a liking to cigarettes. “I’m fine, thanks.”

Shrugging his shoulders with a ‘suit yourself’ attitude, he took one last puff before discarding it on the ground, twisting the tip of his shoe into the bud. He leant up against the barricade, crossing his bandaged hands under his arms and gazing his eyes over you. There was a silence held between the two of you, slightly awkward yet with a sense of comfort, until one of you finally plucked the courage to speak.

“Why didn’t you message me?” 

“S-sorry?” You were confused and shocked by his question.

Why would you message him when he was the one that left?

Did he expect you to desperately chase after him like his previous girls?

 “San, you left without any explanation, and before I even woke up.” You explained, and he listened. “What did you expect me to say?”

He wasn’t sure, so he remained silent whilst thoughts rushed through his brain. You were right, and he knew it, having admitted to himself that his sudden and silent exit was wrong. He’s never had to think about all these things before, but with his new found and still confusing feelings towards you, he had to change his ways if he wanted to keep you around.

“Listen San, I’m not sure what you want from me, but I’m not going to let you treat me like all the other girls you lead on. If you only want one thing from me, then you can-”

Your words were cut off by his lips connecting with yours, hands gently cupping your face. It was just like last night; soft, plush and delicate — you couldn’t help but return the kiss. The kiss was deep, but withheld passion, just filled with emotion.

He pulled away slowly, letting his lips linger on yours for a few more seconds before resting his forehead against yours. “You’re not like the other girls, you’re… different, more important.”

“Then treat me like it.” You quietly demanded, a small pout holding on your face causing San to let out a chuckle at your cuteness.

“I will, princess.” He reassured, though you still held a small bit of doubt in the back of your mind.

You didn’t want him to publicly declare his feelings towards you, but you wanted to be treated with the respect you deserved. And even if you wanted to, you physically couldn’t. The both of you agreed on the fact that whatever it was between you had to remain private, for now, knowing the disagreeing teams of both your friends would be completely ignorant to the fact that two polar opposites could be together.

On your side, Yeosang would be so infuriated to find out your interest in San after time and time again warning you to stay far away from him. And on his side, Wooyoung would be so disgusted to think that his best friend could be intrigued by his ex’s replacement of him.

Sealing the deal of privacy with a kiss, though in a public space, there were no lingering eyes to have caught it.

Except the unknown ones of the principal, who had caught the two of you talking just before the bell rang.

Once the bell chimed, the two of you returned to the homeroom, at separate times to each other to falter any possible suspicions from anyone — especially in such a gossip filled school. It wasn’t even ten minutes into the class that the loud speaker rang through the school, a familiar name being called and all eyes in the class being drawn to the person.

‘Y/N Y/L/N, please come to the principal’s office.’

Ms Waltz was quick to excuse you, letting you make your way out with all eyes on you. It was rare for you to be called to the principal’s office, it was rare for anyone except misfits and troublemakers. So the classroom was quick to fill with ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ at the name of one of the top students being summoned. San watched with cautious eyes as you left the classroom, an uneasy feeling growing within the pit of his stomach.

As you entered the main office, the receptionist asked you to sit and wait until the principal was ready for you. Taking a seat on the small couch against the wall, your brain pondered all the possibilities for your summoned presence, it coming to no conclusions.

“Miss Y/L/N, you can come in now.” Mr Kim called, a gentle smile on his face as he held the door open for you. “Have a seat.”

Sitting in the freshly detailed leather chair, Mr Kim sat behind the desk and across from you. Your eyes moved around his office, noticing all the school achievements and trophies displayed in the cabinets behind his desk. All kinds of vintage books organised with perfection, along with a few unique sculptures they were leant against.

You started to feel nervous once you noticed no conversation being started, twiddling your thumbs together in your lap, legs beginning to bounce up and down lightly. Your brain still racked with anxious possibilities; bad grades, detention, suspension, expulsion. Before he could begin to explain, you blurted out a question. “Am I in some sort of trouble?”

“Oh no, no, no.” He reassured with a light chuckle. “You’re not in any trouble Y/N, I just wanted to ask you a few questions.”

“Okay…” You mumbled, caution still held within you.

“I’ve noticed that you’ve gotten closer with some of the new students,” He stated. “Particularly, Choi San.”

Your heart dropped, not out of fear but of relief. You truly believed you did something wrong. “Oh yeah, I mean, we’re assigned to sit next to each other in class.”

Mr Kim only hummed in response, but you could see his thoughts turning like cogs. He began to clear and stack documents that lay on his desk, leaving you to sit in silence waiting for him to continue. Clearing his throat, he finally spoke up again.

“Look, I’m not here to tell you who you can and can’t be friends with. I appreciate that you’ve been so welcoming to the students who transferred from Southside High.” Well, this doesn’t sound like it’s going to be positive. “But I do recommend steering clear of San.”

Great, yet another person telling you to be rid of San. From all the negative comments you hear about him, it would make sense to stay away — but you couldn't, no matter how hard you tried. And based on your small experiences with him, he didn’t seem as bad as everyone made him out to be. But, that could always change.

“Why should I ‘steer clear’ of him?” You asked with genuine curiosity, only being given reasons by people your own age, mostly Yeosang who had the experience of actually knowing him.

“You’re a very bright student with a big future ahead of you,” He advised, clearing his throat quickly before moving to a more negative outlook. “And San is a troublesome kid with a history of bad behaviour. I just don’t want you to get caught up with someone who can bring down your potential.”

You nodded quietly, processing the information being fed to you. Claiming that you understood him, he told you to think about what he said before dismissing you back to class. As you left the office, still unsure of everything the two of you talked about, you noticed San leaning against the lockers across from the door. Before you could ask him what he was doing, he cut you off with a demanding question of his own.

“What did he want?” His voice was low, almost in a growl, eyebrows furrowed deep into his forehead.

“I- he wanted me to stay away… from you.” You stuttered, eyes drifting to the ground before moving back to San’s face, a noticeable anger held behind his eyes.

“Fucking bastard.”

“San!” You whisper-yelled, holding his wrist tightly. “You can’t say that.”

“Oh please, he doesn’t care about me,” He scoffed, his eyes rolling as he glanced into the office. “He made that clear enough when he left us.”

New information, completely misunderstood. Your furrowed eyebrows now matched his, his stare still held on the office windows, almost like he was gonna shatter the glass with his mind. Still processing what San accidently let out in his anger, your mind began to piece the puzzle together, to a conclusion that truly made no sense to you.

“W-what do you mean?” You asked quietly, your thumb now rubbing soothing circles on his held wrist in an attempt to calm the boy down.

San didn’t even realise he released any indication of his hatred towards the principal, but now all he could do was tell the truth. “He’s my father.”

The silence in the hall was deafening. You didn’t know how to react, and before you could, the principal was stood at the door of the office, demanding the two of you quickly return to class. You glanced between the two men, both of them only holding stares on each other, almost as if you weren’t even there. But you could feel the tension burning in the air, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to be involved in this situation, at this very moment. You quickly bowed to the principal and wandered down the hall, returning to class in silence.

The two men remained still, San piercing daggers into him, and Mr Kim returning him with the same glare, all too familiar to San having seen it in the mirror. The sharp featured boy scoffed and mumbled an ‘asshole’ under his breath before following you into class, paying no more attention to his beloved father.

. . . ⇢ next chapter

author's note hey.... h-hey... how y'all doing... so how about we ignore the fact that i've been gone for over a month and enjoy a new chapter !! i'm truly sorry that i died, and thank you to the people who were asking if i was okay. i haven't had much time to write recently with my new job and being sick TWICE, and the fact that google docs decided to delete HALF of my documents so i've had to rewrite this entire chapter. but I will try and find any time I can to finish this series and fulfill requests <3

this is not proofread, so please let me know if there are any spelling mistakes.

✉ taglist @morethingsfandom  @solaris-amethyst  @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna  @baby-stay92  @autieofthevalley  @liveloveseonghwa  @dejatiny  @mortal-advocate  @dreamsoffanfics @my-atiny-kookie-rkive  @dalsuwaha @nevieatiny  @woateez  @choizlover  @woosmaid  @yeosannie4  @auroras-colors  @mintchocosan  @jjongbearsies  @frzzenfrxg  @sanniebabes  @cyberpvnk-enthusiast  @eyesonlyformingi  @sannies-tiddies  @honeyjongie  @rainteez02  @robertsbbygirl  @mingisgf999  @atzz8  @moonlight-hwa  @chrryjoong  @sanhwalvr  @cloudysannie  @atxxzist  @choisansplushie  @starz-choisanii  @slowitdownmakeitb0uncy  @jerseygirlzzzxx  @mzngi  @sparda1234  @babigriin  @marvolos  @snapcracklen  @posseup  @justineasian  @amazaynaastha  @vixensss  @deltamoon666  @randajjjad  @m4n4-s4m4

written by planet-hwa™

[honeyscara]

Final

Seongje love masterlist | whc masterlist

Prev chapter

It had been a few quiet days since the arcade.

Too quiet.

Whispers trailed behind you in the hallways now. The way students looked at you shifted—some with awe, others with envy, but many with unease. Word had gotten around. You were officially “Seongje’s girl” now.

Whatever that meant.

You tried to ignore it, kept your head down as you made your way to the vending machines just outside the stairwell. You had barely pulled out your wallet when you heard footsteps—three guys, older students, uniforms half worn, ties undone. Union boys, by the way they carried themselves.

“Hey,” one of them drawled, stepping into your path.

You froze, fingers still hovering over the machine’s buttons.

“You really think you’re something special, huh? Walking around like you belong next to him.”

You blinked and turned slowly. “Excuse me?”

Another boy leaned lazily against the vending machine “Must’ve taken some real effort to get Seongje’s attention. What’d you do, cry at him? Play innocent?”

“I didn’t do anything,” you said quietly, trying to keep your voice steady. “And you should leave me alone.”

“Oh?” the first one sneered, stepping closer. “Getting brave now, huh?”

“I’m not scared of you,” you muttered, though your hands were shaking.

They laughed. “That right? Well, if you’re gonna tie yourself to a guy like him, you better learn how to handle the heat.”

The third guy, silent until now, suddenly reached out and slapped you across the face. Hard.

Your head snapped to the side. Pain bloomed across your cheek, and your glasses flew off, clattering to the floor.

Your ears rang.

You staggered, one hand flying to your cheek, the other blindly reaching for the glasses.

“Welcome to the real world,” the guy said coldly. “You wanna be with Seongje, you’re fair game.”

You swallowed a sob, blinking hard through blurry vision. You couldn’t cry. Not here. Not in front of them.

One of them snorted as they turned to leave. “Let’s go. If Seongje’s stupid enough to fall for a girl like that, he deserves the mess.” They left with a cruel laugh echoing behind them.

You stayed frozen for a moment, hand still pressed to your burning cheek, your fingers finally closing around your glasses. The frame was bent. One lens cracked.You held it in your shaking hand and exhaled slowly.

You’d known being associated with Seongje wouldn’t be easy—but this? You hadn’t expected this. And you weren’t sure if he had either. You stood up and decided to go to your quiet place.

The garden behind the school had always been your quiet place.

It wasn’t much—just a small, fenced-off area with a patchy lawn, a few overgrown hedges, and a cracked stone bench shaded by a lone tree that had seen too many seasons. No one ever really came here. It was too tucked away, too forgotten. That’s exactly why you liked it.

You sat on the bench now, your knees pulled together, hands tightly fidgeting with the hem of your skirt. Your fingers twisted the fabric again and again as if trying to wring out the tension, the sting on your cheek still throbbing dully. A bruise would form. You knew it.

Your glasses sat crooked on your nose, one lens cracked through the middle like a spiderweb of misfortune. You blinked through it anyway, your eyes swollen and rimmed red from the quiet tears you had let fall when no one was around to hear you.

You weren’t even sure what hurt more—the slap, or the venom in their words. Maybe it was the way it confirmed everything you'd been trying to deny: that being close to someone like Seongje would always come with consequences. And still… you couldn’t bring yourself to stay away.

You let out a shaky breath, the breeze brushing against your face, catching the edge of your skirt and making it flutter lightly—like your nerves.

You didn’t want him to know what happened. Not because you thought he wouldn’t care, but because you didn’t know what he would do if he got really mad. You’d seen that look in his eyes before—cold, sharp, unstoppable. You didn’t want him to fight again. Not for you.

Besides, your friends had warned you. Stay away from him, they’d said. It’s not worth the trouble.

But here you were, hurting. And part of you didn’t even know if it was from the slap, or from the guilt of wanting someone like him despite everything.

You didn’t notice the footsteps at first. They were quiet, hesitant.

But he did come.

Seongje had torn through the school when he heard the whispers. He didn’t even wait to listen to the whole story—just the mention of your name, the hushed “Did you hear?” and “She was slapped” was enough. His expression had been unreadable, but his knuckles were white.

Now, standing at the edge of the garden, he froze. You were sitting there like a statue too fragile to touch.

The sunlight cut through the leaves above, casting broken shadows on your figure—your slumped shoulders, your hunched posture, the way your thumbs twisted that skirt hem like it was the only thing anchoring you. You didn’t hear him. You didn’t even sense him yet. You were somewhere else.

Your glasses were broken.

Your eyes were red.

You looked so hurt.

And for the first time, Seongje felt something he didn’t know how to name. It was sharp. Sinking. It settled deep in his chest like guilt, like shame, like something tearing open.

He had seen blood. Broken bones. Bruises, black eyes, cracked ribs.

But this?

This hurt more.

Something in him cracked without warning. Something in him broke for the first time.

For the first time… he cared.

About someone.

You.

You flinched when you heard the faint crunch of footsteps on dry leaves. Your head snapped up instinctively. Seongje stood there.

For a second, he didn’t say a word. Just looked at you.

The shadows around him shifted with the breeze, but his expression didn’t move. He looked almost... unreadable. Like someone trying very hard to keep something tightly under control. But his eyes—his eyes betrayed it all.

Rage.

And something softer underneath that you couldn’t quite name.

“Who did it?” he asked, voice low and quiet, but trembling ever so slightly with fury.

You dropped your gaze. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.”

You swallowed. “I didn’t want to tell you. I thought—if you knew, you’d... do something stupid.”

He chuckled bitterly. “I’ve already done plenty of stupid things. Letting you walk around without protection was one of them.”

You winced and shook your head, the movement making your glasses tilt. “I didn’t want that. I don’t want to be treated like I’m some fragile doll.”

“You’re not,” he said immediately, stepping closer. “But you shouldn’t have to fight alone.”

He stopped in front of you and crouched down to your level, one hand resting lightly on your knee.

“Let me see,” he said softly, gesturing toward your face.

You hesitated but tilted your head. His thumb grazed just beneath your cheekbone where the skin was beginning to bruise, and for the first time in a long time, Seongje’s face fell completely blank. No teasing smirk, no playful sarcasm. Just silence.

Then he exhaled sharply and stood up, jaw tight. “I’m going to kill them.”

You stood too, panic rising. “Seongje—no. Please. That’s not what I want.”

He turned on you, eyes blazing. “They touched you. They humiliated you. And you think I can just sit back and let it go?”

“They did it because of you,” you snapped before you could stop yourself.

The words hung in the air between you like glass on the verge of shattering.

He stared.

“I’m not saying it’s your fault,” you said, voice trembling now. “But they wanted to get to you. And I just happened to be the easiest way.”

That hit him harder than a punch.

He ran a hand through his hair, muttering a curse under his breath. Then he turned away for a moment, breathing hard—like he needed a second to stop himself from exploding.

When he turned back, his tone was different.

Calmer. Softer. Almost... vulnerable.

“I never should’ve dragged you into this,” he murmured. “That day I saw you with Gotak... I got jealous. Stupidly jealous. And I told myself I’d just get close to you for fun. But then you started... mattering. And I didn’t know what the hell to do with that.”

He leaned closer again, gently fixing the angle of your broken glasses. “I’m sorry they hurt you because of me.”

Your face warmed, heart fluttering at the intensity in his eyes.

“You’re not mine,” he added, “but... I want you to be.”

The world felt strangely quiet after his words—like the breeze had stilled, like the earth had tilted slightly and was waiting for your answer.

You stared up at him, stunned, breath caught in your throat.

Then, slowly, gently, Seongje reached up and touched the frame of your crooked glasses. His fingers brushed your temple as he carefully removed them from your face, folding them with surprising delicacy despite the visible crack down the lens.

Without the barrier between you, everything felt closer. Raw. Real.

His eyes searched yours—dark, but something behind them flickered. A vulnerability you rarely saw in him. A silent plea.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, voice so low it almost didn’t make it past the hush of the leaves.

Your heart thudded.

You hesitated. Not because you didn’t know the answer, but because it scared you how easily it came.

You gave the smallest nod.

A breath left his chest—relief, maybe. Or hope.

His hands lowered slowly, resting on your knees, his thumbs brushing against the fabric of your skirt. He leaned in slightly, enough that you could feel the warmth of him, the subtle hitch in his breath, the way his gaze lingered on your lips before flicking back up to your eyes.

“I mean it,” he murmured. “I don’t want to hurt you. I never did.”

You swallowed, chest rising and falling too quickly. “Then don’t.”

His lips parted slightly, like he wanted to say something more—but instead, he just leaned in closer. His forehead rested gently against yours for a beat, grounding, anchoring.

And then—he kissed you.

Soft at first.

Like he was afraid you’d pull away. Like he was asking permission.

But when you didn’t—when your hand moved hesitantly to the front of his shirt, gripping it lightly—he deepened it. Still gentle, still careful, but fuller now. Real. Your bruised cheek throbbed a little from the angle, but you didn’t care.

All you could feel was the press of his lips. The warmth of his hands. The rush of emotions you hadn’t dared to name until now.

He stayed close for a while after the kiss, hands still resting on your knees like he didn’t want to let go.The silence was comfortable now—soft and fragile, but no longer cold.

Then, slowly, he pulled back just enough to look at you fully. His eyes lingered on your cheek, the forming bruise.

Something in his gaze shifted again.

Not rage this time.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said quietly.

You blinked. “What do you mean?”

He exhaled through his nose, rubbing the back of his neck like the weight of the words physically hurt. “The union. The The power plays. I’ve been in it so long, I forgot what it’s like to just…care. To care about something without destroying it.”

He paused, then looked at you again—really looked at you.

“And today? Seeing you like that—hurting because of me? That was the moment I knew I couldn’t keep pretending I could live this life and protect you at the same time.”

You opened your mouth, but no words came.

“I don’t want you to be another casualty,” he continued, voice rough. “You’re not some pawn in this mess. You’re… you’re the one thing that makes me want more than this bullshit.”

He stood slowly, hands curling into fists by his sides.

“I’m out. I don’t care what they say. I’ll take whatever they throw at me. But I’m not dragging you into it anymore.”

Your heart clenched. “Seongje, you don’t have to—”

“I do,” he interrupted, turning back to you with more clarity than you’d ever seen in him. “I want to be someone who deserves you. Not someone who keeps apologizing for the bruises he couldn’t stop.”

You stood too, heart thudding in your chest.

His hand found yours—hesitant at first, then tighter, grounding.

“I can’t promise I’ll be perfect,” he said softly. “But I’ll try. For you.”

You squeezed his hand, voice quiet. “Then I’ll be here. For you.”

And that was it.

Just the two of you in the forgotten garden, the late afternoon sun casting golden light across cracked stones and silent promises.

~

From the moment he touched your cheek with trembling hands to the whispered promise against your lips, something in Seongje shifted—irrevocably. He had built his world on violence, loyalty, and silence, but you shattered through all of it with nothing more than your quiet courage.

So, for the first time, Seongje made a choice not out of pride, anger, or power—but out of love. Real, gut-wrenching, soul-changing love. He left the union. Left the weight of it all behind. And as he walked away from the blood-stained ties that had once been his only sense of purpose, he didn’t feel lost. He felt whole. Because this time, he wasn’t walking away from something. He was walking toward you. And that made all the difference.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

Tags: @gacktsa

[slutforwoo]

☆18. I still wanna jump him☆

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☆ written part below!! ☆

were you most likely going to regret this? absolutely. you knew that the minute you responded to his text message. it’d been 2 weeks. 2 weeks since he found out, and you’ve been avoiding him like the plague.

has it been hard as fuck? yes. considering your friend groups mingled a bit. but you managed, you weren’t going to talk to him til he came to you. after all he told you to leave him alone. so you did.

you walk towards the lake, leaves and branches crunching under your footsteps as you get closer. finally you see a tall figure as you get closer to the lake. it’s yunho, with something in his hand? a box?

“yunho”you say as you finally reach where he was waiting, sitting on the bench that was just a couple of steps away.

“y/n.. thank you for um agreeing to talk”he stumbles over his words a bit, clearly nervous about this.

“well i’ve been waiting til you wanted to talk yunho”the sign leaves ur chest. “so. what are we here to talk about?” you ask. acting like you didn’t know exactly why you’re here. you just need to have him admit why you’re here.

“we need to talk about the other day..”he trailed off slightly “I shouldn’t have ran off and lied. I was just caught severely off guard. I didn’t know how to process it. I mean y/n i’ve seen you in a very intimate way. and I didn’t even know it was you. I talked to you.” he rambled. “I just. I was in a shock okay? I didn’t.”

“yunho. I understand but you didn’t even let me explain. you ran out on me, you told me to leave u alone. I wanted to explain. but reality being, I don’t need to yunho. you know exactly why I do this” you said looking up at the man standing in front of you. “I do this to pay my rent, help my parents, pay my tuition. you think I enjoy this?”and you locked eyes with him. “I mean sure I like doing the things I do but it was a last resort” you sigh

he didn’t see it that way. quite frankly when he found out, none of that had crossed his mind. he was just in shock and ignored you instead of talking to you.

“y/n look im sorry. and im sorry because I did tell san”he whispered that last part.

you’re eyes go wide as you fill with slight anger. “you told san?” the question leaves ur mouth as a whisper.

“I’m sorry.. I needed to have someone help and I couldn’t tell mingi or hongjoong because they watch you and well. I didn’t wanna tell jongho”the apology is rambled together. and this time, you turn to look at yunho and you look him in the eyes.

“I really should beat ur ass for telling him you know… but I won’t, because at least you didn’t tell the others.” and your eyes land on the box in his hands. “what’s that?”you ask

yunho takes a deep breath and with shaky hands he hands you it. “I just got you some weed and new rolling try and grinder as an i’m sorry” he says, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

you fight the smile, as you take the box and open it. and sure enough there’s a bag of weed, a black and red gorey rolling tray and matching grinder. he also added pink joint papers. “are u trying to buy my forgiveness?”you question, raising a brow.

“n-no I just”he began to stutter before you cut him off.

“yunho im kidding. I understand why you reacted the way you did. you didn’t know but to be fair it’s not like I knew you were watching my shit”

he lets out a sigh of relief, “I know and after san talked to me I kind of came to that realization. I really hope you can forgive how I acted y/n. I shouldn’t have and i’m sorry” his voice was slightly trembling.

just like that, any anger and frustration you had towards him melted away slightly. you genuinely just wanted him to apologize so you could talk again. especially considering you liked him. and this time you couldn’t deny it anymore.

“I forgive you yuyu. but pull some shit like that again and I will have my friends jump you and i’ll beat your ass myself you got that?”you spoke.

the anxiety washed away from yunho’s body as he let out a small laugh. “I got it don’t worry I don’t plan on doing something like that again” he smiled down at you.

god there it was, the smile that made you feel butterflies every time you were with him.

“just one question though” he said locking eyes with you. “who do you use for ur streams?” he ask with a genuine curiosity.

you freeze looking at him “um well. you can’t say anything okay? because eventually you and ur friend group will find out. but it’s seonghwa and wooyoung” you said trying to read his face as his jaw dropped

“no fucking way? that’s why you all hide your face-”he’s stunned he’s been watching ur friends fuck you this entire time. and he’s been getting off on it???

“didn’t expect that one honestly” he says

“they’ve been very helpful but, i’ve always told them they’re welcome to stop at anytime. like when seonghwa eventually tells hongjoong he likes him. he’ll be cut. and same for whenever wooyoung finds someone” you say taking some of the weed from the bag and putting it in the grinder to roll a joint.

yunho wasn’t shocked honestly, it made sense that they’re help you and thenw when they find someone it’s just immediately over. but how the hell did u never catch feelings?

“how have you not caught feelings for either of them? I mean you guys are like very intimate”

you laugh “you think I can pull seonghwa away from hongjoong? that man has been yearning for years for him. he’s gay yunho. wooyoung on the other hand he. just. yea no. not ever happening. I love him as my friend though” you say shrugging as you started to roll. “plus I like someone so it wasn’t gonna happen” you say.

oh you like someone. yunho felt his heart sink. he was too late there was no way he had a chance with you.

“oh you do?” he said trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. and it made you smile a bit. this man really was oblivious and clueless.

“I like you. yunho” you said, locking eyes with him.

what? there is no way he heard you right. you. like. him??? out of all the people who call at ur feet. you want him?

when you see him freeze you begin to regret what you just told him. and when he notices the words just blurt from his mouth.

“I like you too”

p☆rnst☆r tag list

@roxhanah @sunnysidesins @spenceatiny18 @kookieswithjung @kcharlyy @bloomyroses @jiminssluttyminx @fairy-jojo @oceanside-view97 @domfikeluva @mountquokka @frecklypotato @bambbiisworld

[arc852]

Going Back and Moving On

Summary: Skizz is fourteen when he decides to try and get some closure.

Word Count: 4291

AO3 Link

It's another blast from the past, though this time Imp and Skizz are a little bit older! I hope you guys enjoy!

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 Skizz was fourteen when he finally felt brave enough to go back into the walls.

 It was on a random day, a school day, Skizz was reminded as he woke up and saw Impulse stuffing his bag with homework before moving to gather some clothes to get changed with. Skizz yawned and turned away, allowing himself a few extra minutes of shut eye before Impulse came over to ‘wake’ him up.

 Skizz listened to the shifting and shuffling of Impulse getting ready as he burrowed himself more into his own blankets. He was currently on Impulse’s nightstand in a small blanket that Impulse had wrapped around many times to make a sort of nest for Skizz to sleep in. Skizz always went back and forth between this spot and under the bed when it came to sleeping. Sometimes, he would even sleep on Impulse, it always depended.

 But he had been on the nightstand last night, so it was a lot easier for Impulse to come over and nudge at him gently with a finger. “Come on Skizz, I know you aren’t actually sleeping.” Impulse said and Skizz groaned. After four years, it was hard to hide anything from Impulse anymore. Even something as simple as pretending to still be asleep.

 Skizz huffed and turned himself over, glaring up at Impulse as Impulse simply returned the look with a smile. “Unless you want to make me late for school, you better start getting ready.” Impulse said, his arms were crossed but his tone was light.

 Skizz groaned but finally sat up, raising his arms up in order to stretch them. Impulse watched him fondly, a look that Skizz was far too used to at this point. “Actually,” Skizz started, looking off to the side. “I think I’m gonna stay here today, if that’s alright with you.” Skizz said with a simple shrug, although his heart was beating a bit faster than normal. It had nothing to do with Impulse, however, but of Skizz’s well thought out plans for the day once Impulse actually left.

 Impulse blinked, confused. “Oh-I mean, yeah of course.” Impulse said, his confusion slowly turning into a smile. It wasn’t like this was the first time Skizz hadn’t gone with him to school. It just hadn’t really happened in a while. “Did you need me to set anything out for you?” Impulse asked as he reached over and slung his backpack over his shoulder.

 Skizz thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. There wasn’t really anything Impulse could give to him for what he needed to do. “Nah, I’m okay.” Skizz said and Impulse nodded.

 “If you’re sure. I’ll see you after school then. Make sure to hide if you hear mom coming up though.” Impulse added on at the end, a bit of worry seeping through his tone.

 Skizz rolled his eyes affectionately. “I know, I know.” Even after so many years of knowing each other and keeping Skizz hidden, Impulse still couldn’t help but be worried about Skizz being found out. Skizz was thankful he was so careful but at the same time, if Impulse’s parents, or anyone else for that matter, hadn’t found out about him by this point in time, then they probably never would. “Now get going or you’ll be late.” Skizz said with a slight laugh. Impulse chuckled and waved goodbye before leaving his bedroom, closing the door behind him and leaving Skizz alone.

 Skizz took a few deep breaths, his smile slipping as soon as he knew Impulse was gone. He reached up and ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes and letting the tiredness he still felt take over him for a moment. It would be so easy for him to fall back asleep. To forget about his plan and simply get a few more hours of rest.

 But Skizz needed to do this.

 With a sigh, Skizz opened his eyes again and threw off the blanket in order for him to stand up fully. He stretched a bit more before reaching for his borrowing bag and hook. His borrowing bag was the only thing he still had from his previous life in the walls. And the hook had been given to him by Impulse a little after they had first met. It allowed Skizz some small sense of independence, being able to get around on his own. Not that Skizz didn’t like being carried everywhere by Impulse, but the option was nice to have.

 He used his hook to get down from the nightstand and then slowly made his way over toward Impulse’s desk. Sure, he could have used the entrance underneath the bed, it was far closer after all. But Skizz needed the extra time to really think about what he was doing. Of course by taking the long way he risked bailing all together but Skizz was confident he could go through with it.

 His grip on his bag strap tightened as he got closer. It had been so long since he had last been in the walls. The last time being right after he had met Impulse. Seeing the wreckage his dad had left…he hadn’t gone back since. And really, there had been no reason for him to go back. He had Impulse now, a real home where he was taken care of and had someone who actually cared about him. Why would he ever even need to go back?

 …Skizz had been thinking about that question a lot lately.

 Too much, some might say, especially since it had been four years since everything had happened. A good four years. The best four years of Skizz’s short life. So with such a good life now, why did his mind start to wander back into the walls? Why couldn’t he just let it go?

 He thought about talking to Impulse about this, but Skizz knew this was something he had to figure out on his own. And he kind of had. Skizz had figured that the only way to stop thinking about the walls was to…go back in them. Maybe closure was what he needed. Because really, leaving how he did, with everything like that, had been far from a satisfying ending.

 Skizz let out a yelp as he suddenly ran into the wall, so lost in his own thoughts he hadn’t been paying attention to how close he was getting. He backed up a few steps and rubbed at his face, thankful Impulse hadn’t been around to see that.

 He looked at the wall in front of him, his heart beating loud in his ears. His knuckles were turning white with how tight he was holding onto the strap of his bag and his breathing was picking up a bit more. Everything in him was screaming to turn back around and leave it. 

 But he had to do this.

 Before he could hesitate anymore, he pushed against the wall’s secret entrance and slipped inside. The walls were dark. Far darker than he remembered them being. He rubbed at his eyes and they slowly started to adjust, but it wasn’t anywhere close to adjusting to how it used to be. All these years out of the walls must have changed his eyes.

 He shook his head and pushed oneward, one hand against the walls to ground himself more than anything. He didn’t need to see much anyway, he supposed. He knew where to go, even after all this time. His body moved on instinct, turning left and then right, and left again. He was close now. 

 And then there it was. The hand made door that led into his old home, something his dad had made years before he had been born. He placed his hand on it and then took it off just as quickly. His mouth was dry and he already felt tears prick the corners of his eyes despite the fact he wasn’t even inside yet. He took another deep breath and placed his hand back on the door, pushing it open before he could decide otherwise.

 A small part of him almost expected to see his father standing there, waiting for him. But of course, Skizz was met with an empty home. Skizz stayed in the doorway for a long moment, simply staring inside. He could see the main room from where he was and it was exactly as he had left it. Things were toppled over and broken or otherwise completely destroyed. The only difference being the thick layer of dust that had accumulated over the years.

 Skizz took a step inside. And then another. And another. And soon he found himself in the center of it all. His eyes scanned over everything and he couldn’t help but remember the feeling from before. When he had seen the wreckage for the first time. He let out a shaky breath and continued further into the home. His bedroom door was open, just as he had left it. He could already see what had been ingrained in his mind since that day. His old hook and string still layed on the floor, bent and cut.

 He reached toward his side and absentmindedly grazed the hook that hung at his hip.

 He supposed that was as best of a place as any to start. He all but fell to his knees, wincing as he was reminded of how he had done so before, and carefully started to pick up the mess. He gathered all 18 pieces of his old string and his bent hook before standing and moving back into the main room. 

 There was still a small plastic bag in the area they had used to eat and store food and so Skizz threw the broken pieces of his old life into it.

 He didn’t expect to feel all that different. But…he did feel a bit lighter. Throwing it away felt so final. And when he closed his eyes, the room in his mind no longer held the broken hook and string either. Skizz smiled to himself, a small smile, but a smile nonetheless.

 He turned back toward the rest of the place. It was time to put this all to rest.

 Skizz proceeded to spend the next several hours cleaning. He threw things that were too broken away, but if they didn’t seem too bad Skizz made an effort to try and fix it with some materials he had found lying around. He didn’t always succeed but on a few things, he managed to get it looking okay and placed it back where it had gone before. He dusted everywhere, using an old feather he found to push the dust out. And as Skizz cleaned and fixed things, it became less stuffy inside, bit by bit.

 Skizz wiped some sweat off his forehead as he managed to finish both the main room and his room. Of course, things weren’t exactly the same as before. He had to throw a lot of stuff away after all. And he couldn’t exactly fix the dent in the wall. His dad had gone especially crazy inside his room. But it was as neat as it could be and that’s all that really mattered.

 He didn’t live here anymore anyway, so the lack of personality was just fine by Skizz.

 He left his room, throwing one last thing away and noticing the bag was starting to get too full. Thankfully, he only had one last room left to clean out. Unfortunately, that room happened to be his dad’s.

 He glanced over in the direction of the closed door. Even back then, Skizz hadn’t looked in the room. He had been too distracted by how everything else looked to even think about going in there. Whatever was behind that door was a mystery to Skizz, one that scared him more than he was willing to admit.

 But he was so close to getting this done. So close to that closure he sought after. He could do this one last room.

 He pushed it open and what he saw behind the door…didn’t surprise him.

 Most everything was just completely gone. There were a few things tossed around here and there, a few broken pieces but mostly the room itself was empty.

 Skizz let out a small sigh. His dad must have taken most of his things with him when he left. Honestly, this was the best case scenario for Skizz. It meant he didn’t have to look at anything new that would remind him of his dad. He grabbed the feather and started cleaning the room, dusting the floor and throwing what little was inside away.

 Coming back into the room, he made his way toward one of the only pieces of furniture left inside, a wooden handmade dresser that his dad had made around the same time he had made all of their doors. What was weird about the dresser though, was that it seemed to be the only thing in the entire place that had remained untouched. It wasn’t broken and the door was firmly shut. Skizz reached for the handle and pulled it open.

 At first glance, Skizz thought the dresser was completely empty. But looking closer, pushed into the very corner of the dresser, was a bag.

 Skizz was confused. Surely his dad would have taken his borrowing bag with him. But as he pulled it out, he realized it looked nothing like how his dad’s had.

 Skizz’s breath hitched and he almost desperately turned it over, looking frantically at the precise stitching. And then he saw it. His eyes widened and he carefully grazed his thumb over the name that was stitched into the side of the bag. Small enough to not draw attention but noticeable, like the person who left it was too proud of her work to leave it without.

 This was his mom’s bag.

 Why would his dad not take it though? Surely his dad would have wanted to keep this, to remember her by…Although, his father seemed pretty adamant on not wanting anymore reminders of his wife. It was his whole reasoning for abandoning him after all.

 Either way, whether his dad left the bag on purpose or accident, it didn’t really matter. What did matter was that he had it now.

 Skizz carefully slipped off his own bag, noticing how his mom’s was bigger. He set his bag on the floor and put his mom’s bag over his shoulder instead. Again, the bulk of it was bigger and it would take some getting used to, but it felt…right. He knelt down on the floor and opened his bag and then his mom’s, getting ready to transfer everything over. But he paused when he opened his mom’s bag and saw a folded up piece of paper inside.

 It was otherwise empty but Skizz couldn’t stop his hand from shaking as he reached for it. He turned it over and his heart just about leaped out of his chest when he saw his own name on the front of it.

 Slowly, he turned the paper back around and started unfolding it. There were paragraphs of words on the paper, all in the same style as the stitched name on his mom’s bag. Swallowing the forming lump in his throat, his eyes started to scan the page.

 Skizz,

 I’m not doing well. 

 I know that’s no way to start a letter, especially to my own baby, but the truth is the further I get into this pregnancy the weaker I feel. I can barely even get out of bed anymore and I sleep more often than not. 

 I fear I will not live to see you, my sweet baby. 

 It took me a while to process that, if I’m being honest. That I won’t get to see you, or hold you, or watch you grow up. I cried for a good few hours straight once I realized. But…I think I’m okay now. I still wish it wasn’t the case, of course, but if it means you get to live then I would happily give my life for yours.

 …Your father doesn’t know how bad it really is. Or maybe he does and he’s trying to ignore it. Either way he’s running around worried sick over me and you. I’m sure at this point you are well aware of how your father can be when he’s so worried. I can only imagine what he’ll be like when you get sick for the first time. I’m sure you were pampered to the moon and back.

 Skizz paused there, a few tears pooling in his eyes as he processed everything he read in that first chunk. So his mom knew she probably wouldn’t make it. But she had come to terms with it, at least as far as she said in the note. And his father…

 Skizz shook his head and continued reading.

 I decided to write this little note to you, because I want you to know my words at least once. To read with your own eyes how much I love you.

 Okay, Skizz was actively crying now. He did his best to keep the paper away from his falling tears and wiped at his eyes enough to continue reading.

 I’m sure you know this by now but in borrower culture, I would have made you your own bag before you were born and given it to you once you reached the age to go borrowing. I did start one in the very beginning, when I first realized I was pregnant with you, but I’m much too weak now to finish it. So instead, I want to give you my borrowing bag. It’ll be something that can connect the both of us together, even when I’m gone. And that thought alone makes me so happy. I plan on putting this note in my bag for you as well, so that you can read it when you’re old enough to understand.

 I’m not telling your father about the note. Only because he’d probably make me rewrite the whole thing simply because I keep referring to you as Skizz. Your father is so sure you’re going to be a girl. But I know better. I know you. Even if I’ll never get to meet you properly, I know you are my precious little boy and I know that your name is Skizz.

 I’m sorry I can’t be there for you. But I know you are in good hands. Your father assures me everyday that he will spoil you no matter who you turn out to be. I hope he spoils you enough for the both of us. It’s hard, leaving this all to him, but I trust that he’ll keep you safe.

 I love you, Skizz. And though I am not able to be there with you, I hope you can still know how true that is.

 Be good and be you.

 Love,

Mom

 Skizz reread the letter at least another three times before he lowered it. He stared at the bag, tears still in his eyes though he was no longer actively crying. He just felt…sad. Sad for what could have been.

 He wished his dad could’ve been the person his mom had known.

 Unfortunately, he had changed drastically after her death. Something she couldn’t have predicted. But she had wanted the best life possible for him and Skizz’s heart ached for someone he never even knew.

 He couldn’t help but wonder if his mom would be happy with his life as it was now. He was happy, Impulse was the best thing to ever happen to him. But what would his mom think?

 He obviously couldn’t know for sure, but he decided to think that she would also be happy. Happy that he got away from his father who had changed and was living a life where he was actually cared for. At the very least, from her note, she seemed the type of person to feel that way. 

 He carefully folded up the letter again and placed it into one of the many pockets of his mom’s bag for safe keeping. He then proceeded to transfer all of his things over to his new bag and once his old one was empty, he put it in the dresser. The same spot his mom’s bag had been in. There was really no use in taking it with him, after all. It was old and falling apart anyway.

 With his new bag slung over his shoulder, Skizz left his father’s old room, closing the door shut behind him. There was nothing left for him in there. And as he looked to the rest of his old home, he realized there was nothing left for him anywhere. He was happy to see it cleaned and put back together, it certainly did wonders for his want of closure. But now that it was all said and done, there was nothing left for him.

 He gripped tightly on his bag strap before releasing it and letting his hand hang at his side. He went to the front door and glanced back one last time before leaving, making sure he closed the door behind him. His hand stayed on the handle for a bit too long but Skizz couldn’t find it in himself to care. He let out a breath and released his grip on the knob before turning and walking away.

 His new bag was bigger by his side but it felt good, like his borrowing bag finally fit him now. It hit his side gently as he walked along the paths in the walls, back to where he had come in from, back to Impulse’s room. 

 As he stepped back out into the light and made his way past the desk, it was then that there was a sudden knock on the door. Three knocks with a beat of silence in between them, the signal they had long since come up with so Skizz would know it was Impulse coming in and not anyone else.

 There was another beat of nothing before Impulse opened the door and walked in. Skizz watched as Impulse’s eyes first went to the nightstand but before Impulse spent any longer looking for him, Skizz cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled up in his direction. “Impulse! I’m down here!” Skizz said along with a small wave and watched as Impulse’s eyes snapped right to him.

 Impulse smiled and set his backpack at the foot of his bed before coming over and reaching down toward Skizz, scooping him up into his hand with ease. Skizz didn’t even flinch, far used to being picked up. “Hey, how was…” Impulse started to ask as he stood back up but paused when he seemed to notice something. A thumb carefully came forward and rubbed at his arm before coming away and angling itself so Impulse could see the pad of it. Impulse frowned. “Why are you so dusty?”

 Skizz blinked and looked down at himself, not realizing he was covered in dust. It made sense though, of course. He had just spent the last few hours cleaning within the walls. Before Skizz could answer though, because it wasn’t like he was trying to hide it, Impulse’s other hand came up and gently lifted Skizz’s new bag to get a better look at it. Impulse’s eyes were furrowed with confusion. “And wait…this isn’t your bag.”

 A small part of Skizz wanted to rip the bag away from Impulse’s fingers but the majority knew that Impulse was nothing if not gentle and there was really no reason for Skizz to worry about his mom’s bag. “It…is now.” 

 Impulse let the bag slip from his fingers and it fell gently back to Skizz’s side as he waited for Skizz to explain. Skizz sighed and let his hands wander back to the strap of said bag. “I might have gone back into the walls.” Skizz admitted, not quite meeting Impulse’s eyes.

 “Wait, what?” He asked, shock and confusion thick in his tone.

 Skizz just nodded. “I wanted closure. I wanted…I needed to settle my mind. So I went back and cleaned everything up.” Skizz looked back down at his bag, running a hand over it. “I found this tucked away. It…it was my mom’s.”

 “Your mom?” Impulse’s voice was soft when he spoke because he knew more than anyone what this meant. Skizz had shared so much with Impulse about his past, his dad, and the little he knew about his mom. So the fact that he had found something from her, well, Impulse was aware of just how big of a deal that was.

 “Yeah, she left me a note and everything…she knew she was passing away and she wanted me to have her old bag.” Skizz thought about taking the note out and reading it out loud for Impulse but he didn’t think he would be able to get the words out right now. Not out loud and not without crying.

 “Oh Skizz…” Impulse trailed off.

 “I’m okay.” Skizz said and surprisingly, he wasn’t completely lying. “Cleaning my old home…and finding my mom’s old bag…it helped. It helped a lot.”

 Impulse searched his eyes and let out a small sigh before a small smile overtook his features. “Well, I’m glad for that then.” He gently prodded the bag. “It does suit you.” 

 Skizz felt like he was going to cry. He wiped at his eyes to stop any tears from actually falling. “Yeah.” He said, leaning back against Impulse’s fingers, and keeping his hand on the bag, his own fingers grazing over the stitching of his mom’s name. “I think so too.”

[feralgodmothers]

|| Beaten || || Austin Butler one-shot ||

Summary: As Austin’s new girlfriend, you expected that there would be negativity from some of the fans, but it turns out far worse than you imagined when you’re attacked in his home while he’s away.

Pairing: Austin Butler x female reader

Word count: 5.9k

Disclaimer: I’m not a very experienced writer, I just do this for fun on occasion (They say to write what you know, but what if you don’t know anything?? What then???). Anyway, I hope you like it. ‪‪‬‪‪‬♥

CW: violence, assault, mentions of blood and injury, swearing, verbal abuse, angst, ptsd, feelings of unworthiness

The last few months have been a surreal blur.

It’s only been five months since you had the opportunity to meet Austin Butler - and now you were pulling into his driveway to house sit for him.

Of course, this wouldn’t be your first time at his house - you’ve been here many times, in fact - because it just so happened that the two of you were dating.

You hit it off from the moment you met. His kind and gentle nature had put you at ease, and the conversation between you flowed so naturally, that it was as if you’d known each other for years, yet at the same time - you had that flutter of excitement that always blooms inside your chest when you feel a spark with someone new.

Prior to Austin, you had never felt an instant connection so strongly in your life - you believed something like that only belonged in the movies and that it couldn’t have been real, and yet… here it was. Ever since then, you’d spent so much time with him here, that his house was beginning to feel a little bit like home for you too.

Whenever you stopped to consider how quickly things progressed between you - from being very friendly acquaintances, to having cuddle sessions and movie marathons on his couch, cooking together in his kitchen, swimming in his pool, and reading on his balcony - it made your head spin in a delightfully intoxicating way. Everything Austin enjoyed doing, he enjoyed doing with you. He was so open and inviting - he had a way of making you feel comfortable and safe with him at all times. It was as if, as long as you were with him, you were exactly where you were meant to be… you belonged.

Of course, him having this effect on you may have been easier to pull off than usual, since the timing of your getting together never overlapped any public appearances he needed to make. He had just finished three films and their press tours back-to-back, with no real break in between. So, as a result, he decided to take an extended hiatus.

And that’s when he met you.

You pretty much had him all to yourself, and you were lucky enough to be eased into his lifestyle, rather than having to jump in headfirst. The routine that the two of you created for yourselves was almost normal, and you very much enjoyed your private little bubble with him.

Well… mostly private.

You were vaguely aware that the paparazzi captured some photos of you while you were out spending time together, but you never saw them. You never bothered to look them up to see how they came out, or what people were saying about you. Because, if you were truly honest - you were afraid to.

Austin was one of the biggest rising stars in the world right now, and you were a nobody. There was nothing about you that screamed ‘celebrity love interest’, and you knew how harsh and judgmental the public could be. You concluded that it was just best to leave it alone, and remain in ignorant bliss.

But now it was back to business for Austin, which meant that it was time for you to begin your transition into a new way of life ahead.

At least he didn’t leave you in the dark over what to expect. As fully as he was able, he mentally prepared you for the long absences, the events, the tours - the hectic schedules that wouldn’t allow as much contact and communication as you would like. You would miss him, but at least you were ready.

The only thing you regretted was that you weren’t able to see him off at the airport - he had to leave early that morning while you were at work, and had arranged for a chauffeur to come pick him up.

“We don’t even get our airport moment?” you ask in mock offense.

He laughs. “No, I’m afraid not. Not this time.”

“Romance is so dead, man!”

He softly grabs your chin and lifts it slightly to get you to look at him.

“That’s why we should make the time we still have together count,” he says, with a suggestive glint in his eye.

You try to glare at him, but fail to stop the corners of your lips from turning up in amusement.

He grins and steals a kiss.

You give him a feigned unconvinced face.

He pulls you in slowly for another one, this time deeper, and more lingering. Your casual act dissolves, and you fully submit - sinking right into it.

He pulls away, and your vision comes slowly back into focus, as you’re staring right into his stunning blue eyes.

“And I’ll be sure to make it up to you once I get back…”

It wouldn’t be exaggerating to say that fantasies surrounding what exactly he meant by “make it up to you”, had been running nonstop through your head ever since. It was so good of him, yet so diabolical to give you something like that to look forward to during your time apart.

In any case, if what he had planned was anything like what he did for you last night, well…

You’re grinning to yourself as you approach the front door and start reaching for the keypad.

“Hey, girl!”

Startled, you snap out of your reverie and look around.  

You see a group of three girls approaching you out of the darkness. You don’t know how you could have missed them. After a quick glance, you suspect that they all might be about 18 or 19 years old. You’ve never seen them around here before, and you wonder why they'd be here now of all times.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. You see any other dumb bitches we might be talkin’ to?”

The harsh aggressiveness has you frozen. You’ve seen people trying to act tough and posture before in a way you’ve found amusing, but this feels different. They’re slowly making their way towards you with purpose. Their movements vaguely remind you of pack animals closing in on their prey, and pretty soon you’ll be trapped in a corner. Your only thought is: I need to get inside, now. 

“Where’s your man at?”

“My what?”

“Your man. Where’s he at?”

Oh, God. What did they want with him?

“You mean Austin?”

“Yeah.”

You see they’ve made it to the bottom of the front steps now.

Shaking a little, but still trying to act casual, you start fumbling to put in the security code.

“He’s filming in London right now, but he should be back in a couple of weeks.”

The light on the pad flashes green and you hear the front door unlock. You grab hold of the handle and start to open the door.

“But I can give him a message for you if you’d like,”

“Oh, we got a message for him, alright.”

You’re shoved hard from behind. Your body slams the door the rest of the way open as you’re sent sprawling across the threshold and onto the floor. You barely manage to scramble onto all fours, when a sudden sharp kick smashes you across the face, knocking you back down.

You feel an open gash on the inside of your lip, and your mouth rapidly fills up with blood. You have just enough to time to spit it out onto the floor, before they all close in on you at once, inflicting a barrage of strong kicks and hard punches from all directions. Your face, your head, your back, your front - whatever they’re able to find contact with is fair game for their ruthless onslaught. It’s a confusing whirlwind of pain, as hard blows endlessly crash into your body. They leave you no opportunity to get up, or even to get into a position to defend yourself. They keep you down on the floor, completely at their mercy. Vulnerable, with no way to dodge them.

You could tell that at least one of them was wearing rings, because you felt the sting of metal pierce through your skin over and over again. You also catch fragments of the abuse they were shouting at you between blows:

“You think you’re special?”

“…his little princess? His dumb little fucking princess?”

“Fake bitch-”

“Filthy whore-”

“Slut-”

They all pause to take a breath. You’re lying in a heap on your side, your own lungs crying out for air. You see the feet of one of them as she squares herself up in front of you.

“I can’t believe he’s slumming it-”

She gives you a sharp kick to the stomach, knocking the wind out of you.

“with such a piece of shit-”

Another one.

“trashy-”

Another.

“cunt like you.”

And just as quickly as they started, they stop. You’re left there choking and gasping as they stand there, hovering around you.

Still slightly out of breath, you hear one of them say, “C’mon guys, let’s go.”

They group together and follow her command. As they’re leaving, one of them calls out to you in a mockingly sweet voice “Goodbye, darling!” They all start to laugh and you hear the front door slam shut.

The silence afterward is hollow and oppressive.

As you lay there, you cough, and try to gulp back your breath in ragged spurts, like a fish out of water. You attempt to roll over, and your body screams out in agony. Everything hurts. Your head is throbbing, and your whole body feels broken.

You lift yourself onto your elbows and slide yourself to the front door. You go to reach for the lock, but your ribs sharply protest and you double back over in pain. You focus on your breathing as you prepare to try again. The last thing you need is for those girls to come back if they decide they want to finish what they started. You take a deep breath, and through gritted teeth, you lunge yourself forward and turn the lock. Exhaling with a puff, you slump against the door in relief.

Struck by the irony of only just now barring out danger, a half-laugh, half-sob tears from your throat as you sink back onto the floor. The strong metallic taste that’s filling your mouth, combined with the intense dull pain you feel in your abdomen, makes you want to throw up. But resting your face on the cool tile floor was helping to keep that feeling at bay.

You don’t know how long you laid there for. It could have been just a minute, or it could have been an hour. As much as your body pleaded with you to stay right where you were, and to let yourself slip into unconsciousness - something was telling you that you needed to fight that urge.

Austin.

His name rings out like a beacon inside your head.

You slowly ease yourself back up on all fours, and - through sheer force of will - you push yourself up onto your feet. You touch your hand to the front pocket of your jeans, and feel that your phone is still there. You pull it out and stagger to the couch, which you’re grateful is so mercifully close.

You pull up Austin’s number and call him.

He picks up, and you can hear the smile in his voice as he greets you with that familiar warmth of his.

“Heyyyyy, I was just thinking about my favorite girl!”

A tear runs down your cheek as you put your hand over your mouth, trying to smother the sob that was threatening to escape. 

“Baby? Are you there?”

Your voice tumbles out of you, sounding very faint and shaky. “Austin?”

There’s a dreadful silence on the other end.

“What’s wrong?” You can hear that his regular happy and easygoing tone has shifted to alarm. 

“I…”

You’re not even sure what to say. You had no plan when you decided to call his number. “I just- I… I don’t know. I just needed to hear your voice.”

“Baby, you’re scaring me. What is it?”

You don’t answer. You have no answers. You can barely even breathe. You feel like you’re lost and all alone, drowning at sea…

“Let me FaceTime you.”

“No!”

“Why not?” 

The dam finally breaks, and a choked sob escapes your throat before you can stop it. 

“Austin, you really don’t want to see me right now.”

“Baby, please.”

You stay quiet. Your heart is hammering inside your chest.

Austin ends the call, and before you know it, the incoming FaceTime flashes over your screen. You hesitate for a moment before you answer. You slowly slide the button to the right and the screen casts a spotlight on you, putting the gruesome wreck of your face on full display.

He sees your battered face - all scraped, swollen, and bruised. 

“Oh my God, what happened?”

You try to look at him through the phone, but you immediately drop your gaze, because you can’t bear the sight of your own face looking back at you.

“There were these girls, waiting outside… they… they barged in after me… and then they…”

You can’t bring yourself to say anymore. All you can do is break down and cry.

“Somebody call 911!”

You glance up to see Austin looking stricken, talking to someone outside of the camera frame. “Somebody broke into my house, and there’s been an assault.”

You hear a slight commotion in the background, as whoever he was talking to springs into action. Austin looks back into the camera at you.

“Stay with me baby. I’m going to get you help. Stay with me on the line until they get there, okay?”

You nod at him.

He doesn’t make you say anything else. He does all the talking for you. He keeps you grounded like your own personal lifeline, with a string of encouraging words and gentle declarations. Just the sound of his voice is enough to soothe you.

It feels like no time at all before the ambulance pulls up and the paramedics come in, carrying a gurney with them. They place it on the floor and gently take hold of you, easing you down onto it to carry you outside and into the brightly lit ambulance car. They place an oxygen mask over your face. You barely register anything else the paramedics say or do as they scramble around you. You just turn your head to watch the red and white lights flashing outside of the window.

They’re so beautiful… especially now that they’re starting to blur together….

~

You wake up, and struggle to open your eyes. They feel so heavy, swollen, and sore - and only one of them manages to open properly. Your head has the most intense, splitting ache you’ve ever felt in your life, and you instantly snap your eyes back shut against the bright lights flooding in. Just then, you realize that someone’s been holding your hand - so you open your eyes again to see who was there with you.

It’s Austin.

He looks completely ragged and worn out. He’s sitting in a chair next to you, staring blankly at his lap, and there are dark circles under his eyes. You give his hand a gentle squeeze, and his head snaps up to look at you. A warm glow spreads across his face, bringing the life back into it as he smiles at you.

“Hi, sweetheart.”

He brings your hand up to his lips and kisses it so tenderly, it’s as though he’s afraid it might break. “Welcome back.”

Your brows knit in confusion.

“What do you mean ‘welcome back’?”

“They say you passed out in the ambulance. You’ve been out for hours.”

Your heart aches to see him looking so exhausted. You realize he must have flown here directly from London as soon as he could.

“You look tired,” was all you could muster to say.

He chuckles. “I’ll be alright, baby. It’s you we need to worry about now, okay?”

You nod.

“Okay...”

~

You must have fallen asleep again, but you didn’t remember it happening. All you know is that your eyes had been closed, and now Austin wasn’t there anymore.

The main lights in your hospital room were off, leaving only the softer overhead light above your bed. There was more of a hush out in the hallway now… it must be late. Well past visiting hours.

You realize you have to pee.

After looking down at your arms, you see you’re connected to various wires - but right next to your hand is the call button for the nurse. You press it.

The nurse immediately comes swooping in. After telling her what you need, she disconnects you from all your wiring in just a few swift movements, places a strong hand under your arm to assist you out of bed, and escorts you over to the bathroom.

“Thank you,” you say.

“You’re welcome, hon. Push the call button next to the toilet when you’re done, and I’ll come and help you get settled back into bed, okay?”

“Okay.”

She shuts the door behind you, and you hear her leave the room.

You turn to glance into the mirror above the sink.

Jesus.

No wonder he treated me like porcelain.

You looked like you’ve been hit by a truck. Truth be told… you felt like it too.

Somehow, your face looked even worse now - with larger patches of swelling, and several lines of stitching scattered all over it, your reflection looked like it belonged in a funhouse mirror from hell. You wince at the soreness as you lift your hospital gown to inspect your body in the mirror. Various shades of purple and blue were splotched all over your torso. You lift your hand to gingerly touch one of the bruises, and you instantly regret it. Your skin feels raw, and the sharp ache runs deep inside your body. You release the hem of your gown.

There had to be a lot of hatred to want to do this to somebody…

You feel dread settle in, and it makes a home inside your stomach.

~

Angry faces surround you in the darkness. They circle in on you, and the closer they get - the more their features blend together into one vague, formless mass. Only their malice remains discernible.

A voice floats to you from somewhere in the crowd. “We’ve got a message for him, alright…”

You’re jostled around, being roughly shoved and yanked by pairs of hands you can’t see, before you feel a blinding pain in your head and body, as some malevolent, invisible force is released, crashing into you, trying to knock whatever life it can out of you. You whip around, disoriented, your eyes darting back forth, trying to find the source of the attack, but it’s all in vain - the heavy impacts just keep coming, consistently knocking you off balance. The crowd gathered around watches on, and cheers. You try to see who they are, or how many - but a harsh, white light keeps flashing in your face, preventing you from seeing anything. You feel dizzy and sick from all the twisting around, and the increasing rush of savage violence. You’re not going to last much longer. Your body can’t take anymore.

Stop… please stop…

“Goodbye, darling!”

One final blow smashes into your face like a battering ram, and everything goes dark.

You jerk awake. Your heart is pounding.

~

It’s the next morning, and although the sun is already shining brightly through the window - the room manages to become even brighter when Austin steps in with his soft, endearing smile, and a bouquet of flowers. You smile back as you try to straighten yourself up in bed, but the pain from moving makes you wince. You notice that his smile falters, and a flash of concern runs across his face.

“I’m okay,” you try to reassure him, “I’m just sore.”

He nods, not looking entirely convinced. He sets the flowers down, and settles in the chair next to you and takes hold of your hand.

“Is there anything you want me to do for you? Anything that you need?”

You shake your head and smile at him fondly. “No, I’m fine. I’m just really happy to see you.”

His eyes light up and he smiles back. “I’m really happy to see you too.”

You quietly hold hands for a while. You start to notice that his eyes keep glancing anxiously across your face, and that he’s fidgeting a bit more than usual. A restless, brooding shadow seems to be settling over him.

“Are you sure there’s nothing that I can do?”

You smile again.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I promise you, I’m okay,” you give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Relax. The fact that you’re here at all is more than I hoped for.”

“I’d like to see anyone try to stop me from being here.” There may have been some levity in his tone, but there was none in his expression. A flicker of intensity was raging behind his eyes. He clenches his jaw and takes a deep breath. “They showed me the surveillance footage today. To see if I recognized any of them.”

“Oh?” Curiosity perks you up. “And?”

He shakes his head. He looks so regretful about it, that his whole body appears to wilt in defeat.

You feel a little pang of regret yourself, just from having to see him like this. The last thing you ever wanted to do was cause him pain or stress, so to see it there - so clearly written across his face and taking its toll on him - made your heart ache.

You decide to change the subject. “So… what’s happening over in London?”

He rubs his eyes.

“Well… they decided to delay production for a little bit, because they were willing to give me an extension. Maybe a week or two.” He shrugs. “You know, whatever’s needed. They said it was no problem.”

You wish you had chosen a different subject. Now you felt even more guilty.

“I’m sorry.”

You see his brow furrow.

“What do you have to be sorry for?”

You shrug. “I don’t know… disrupting?”

“Hey…”

Austin leans forward, and his eyes lock with yours. “None of this was your fault. Sometimes people do terrible things, and any ‘disrupted’ plans that happen, is on them. Okay?”

You nod. “Okay.”

You wonder what was making him so tense today. You do your best to keep things light, but the dark cloud hanging over him continues to linger, despite his best efforts to try and hide it for your sake.

~

After a few more days at the hospital - where Austin was always by your side for as long as visiting hours allowed - you’re finally discharged, and he drives you back home with him.

You can’t tell if you’re feeling more dread or relief - both are swirling around inside you for the entire car ride - but you notice that the dread is crowding out everything else once he pulls into the driveway. Your eyes start scanning over the whole area.

Where had they emerged from? Where did they sit and wait for you when you arrived that night?

“Hey… you okay?”

He sounds so far away…

You don’t answer. You try and fail to swallow the dry knot that’s forming in your throat. Staring at the front of the house, you feel a twinge of panic in your gut. You jump slightly when Austin opens his car door and gets out. He walks around to your side and opens your door, then he kneels down and puts his arms around you.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m with you.”

He gently guides you out of the car and up the stone walkway. A disturbing feeling of deja vu weighs heavily on you and holds you back, like a shackle around your ankle. He can feel your reluctance, and his tender strength keeps you moving forward - albeit slowly.

With every step, you pass by the spots where everything happened, and swift and violent flashbacks surge through your head. You try your best not to show that anything was wrong, but you know that you flinched several times - and you also know that he noticed it every single time.

~

Later that night, you enter the bathroom to get ready for bed, and you catch your reflection in the mirror.

I look like Frankenstein’s monster with all these stitches.

Your heart sinks. You know that looks shouldn’t be important, but the truth was: Austin was a celebrity. He was very much on the public’s radar, and is a stunningly beautiful human being. And now his girlfriend looks like… this. It was like staring into a physical portrait of how the two of you were from vastly different leagues - a harsh reminder of how little sense it truly made that he chooses to be with you.

When you come out of the bathroom, Austin is already there, waiting for you in bed. You must have been looking downcast, because his expression changes to concern after he looks up and sees you.

“What’s wrong?”

You point to your face. “I look like a medical experiment.”

He chuckles. “It’s not so bad,” he reaches out a hand to you. You walk over and take it, climbing into bed next to him. He puts his arm around you as you settle in against his chest. “It just means that you’re alive and healing - and right now, that’s the most beautiful thing in the world to me.” He kisses the top of your head, and you relax a little.

~

You wake up suddenly, and decide to get yourself a glass of water. You slowly head towards the kitchen in the dark, feeling your way along the walls with your hands. Once you reach the kitchen, you try to flip on the light.

Nothing.

The dim glow of the overnight lights above the countertop are still on, so you know the power hasn’t gone out…

“Hey, girl!”

Your heart freezes like a block of ice in your chest.

Oh, no… not again…

You look around, your panic rising, but you don't see anyone. Then someone grabs you by the hair and yanks you backwards onto the floor.

A torrent of kicks pelt your stomach, and the impact to your tender, healing bruises make you feel as though you’re being ripped in half. You crumple in on yourself.

“We thought me made ourselves clear the first time, but I guess some bitches never listen.”

Please… just leave me alone…

They all pounce on you at once, and you scream…

“Hey, hey - shhhh, it’s okay! I’m here, it’s okay…”

You feel Austin holding you close to him from behind. You’re breathing heavily, and your eyes feel wet… you must have been crying in your sleep. You know where you are, but the fear you felt in your nightmare is still lingering with you.

You twist around to face him, still trying to catch your breath. He gazes down at you, looking pained. He clenches his jaw and reaches up to cup your face. He moves his thumb in gentle little circles, spreading the dampness from your tears across your cheekbone.

“I’m here,” he whispers. He places butterfly kisses on your lips, and then over the coarse landscape of the rest of your face - every bump, every bruise, every imperfection. “I’m here… I’m not going anywhere.”

He hugs you to him, and gently rolls you over with him as he settles onto his back. Lying on his chest, you can hear his heartbeat - its steady rhythm grounding you back into reality. He starts playing with your hair, as his other hand finds yours, and your fingers lace together across his stomach.

You both continue to lie quietly like this together until you fall back to sleep.

~

The next morning is slow and quiet. The two of you move around each other on autopilot, fixing your coffees in silence, before you settle in the kitchen to drink them together. He’s leaning back against the countertop, while you’re sitting on one of the barstools. You cradle your warm mug on the counter, and watch the steam rise in lazy patterns.

Austin is the first to speak up.

“Did you sleep alright? I mean, after…?”

“Yeah… how about you?”

“Mostly.”

The silence settles back between you. Once again, Austin was the one to break it.

“Were you dreaming about what happened?”

You nod.

He pauses before broaching his next question.

“Do you think that my bringing you back here might have triggered it?”

You shake your head. “Not necessarily. I had my first nightmare about it at the hospital.”

“Oh.”

He looks down into his mug and stirs his coffee again.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here… I should have been here.”

You close your eyes and rest your forehead on your hands.

Hearing him apologize hurts so much, that it turns out to be the final straw.

“Please don’t apologize.” You press your eyes against your palms, trying to fight off the unbearable weight of guilt you feel at hearing his misplaced blame. “If anything, it’s me who should be sorry. The second you try to go back to work, I manage to become nothing but a wrench in your life.”

You take a deep, shaking breath. You’re finally working up the courage to say what you’ve been thinking this whole week. “Honestly, I’ve been wondering if this is just a sign that you should be with someone else.”

“What are you talking about?”

You lower your hands down to your lap and stare at them.

“You didn’t need this on top of everything else. I never wanted to cause you pain - I only ever wanted to make you happy. And…maybe, if you were with someone else… this never would have happened.”

A heavy silence suspends in the air between you. It goes on for so long, that you look up.

Still as a statue, Austin was staring at you as if you were a thousand miles away. All you could do was stare back, as the silence continued to go on. You had never seen him look like this before - Austin was always so present, that this was a completely new experience for you.

Finally, he blinks.

“Why would you say that?”

He asked the question so quietly… and yet there was so much anguish behind it, that it takes you aback.

“I’m just trying to be realistic… there are certain things we have to weigh out, and sometimes-”

“I love you.”

Your train of thought stops dead in its tracks.

“What?”

“I love you.”

Now it was your turn to do the thousand-yard stare.

“I’ve felt it for a while now. I just didn’t want to rush into saying it, because I was trying to be rational. But then this happened, and I…” he screws up his face like he was in pain. “Do you know how hard it was to watch that security footage and see what they did to you? To be completely powerless to try and stop it? I could have lost you. They could have killed you. And now you want me to just… trade you in? You really think I’d ever be the type of person who would want to do something like that?”

“It’s not about wanting to, Austin. You have to.”

“No, I don’t,” he says, firmly.

He sets his coffee down and crosses to your side, gently taking your face in both of his hands. “I love you, and I told you - I’m not going anywhere.”

You close your eyes and lean into his hands. You love the way he feels on your skin, the warmth that radiates from him.

You open your eyes again and look up at him. You feel wounded inside, because you know in your heart that you’re right, and you’ll have to do the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do: you’ll have to give him up.

The pain you’re feeling must be written all over your face, because his expression turns into one of sudden and silent desperation. His gaze drops down to your lips, and he kisses you, hungrily, like he’s trying to drink you in, wordlessly pleading with you to let go, and to fully submit to him in love. You kiss him back with equal fervor, because of course you love him too. You want nothing more than for this to be the rest of your life - to throw caution to the wind, and ride off into the sunset with the man of your dreams. But love wasn’t enough. Sometimes, it didn’t conquer all. You still had one major obstacle in your way, and this one - you couldn’t allow yourself to ignore.

When he finally pulls back, you see his eyes are immediately searching yours.

Even though your whole heart is screaming in protest, tearing itself apart inside you, you shake your head. A lump forms in your throat, and your voice struggles to work around it.

“Austin… they all hate me. I can’t drag you down with me… I just can’t. And I won’t.”

His hands were still cupped around your face. You reach up and take hold of them, gently pushing them away.

“You’ve worked too hard to get where you are. I can’t stick around and ruin what you’ve built.”

Suddenly, his expression shifts, as if something just clicked inside his head.

“Hang on… there’s something I want to show you.”

He hurries out of the room, heading towards the bedroom.

You wait there, confused.

He walks back in, holding his phone and scrolling through it. He hands it to you without saying anything. You look at it and see that it’s opened up on a social search.

Post after post reveals a flood of outrage towards your attackers, as well as of sympathy and support for you and Austin.

“What those girls did was completely vile. I hope they get caught soon”

“Poor y/n. Those girls are absolute monsters”

“Sending prayers and good thoughts to Austin and y/n during this difficult time 🙏🏼”

“I can’t believe someone would do this. Whoever they are, they’ve proven they’re not real Austin fans.”

“I hope y/n recovers soon. She never did anything to deserve this.”

You can’t read anymore, because tears are welling up and beginning to blur your vision. You look up at Austin. Just like that, your final barrier had come crashing down, and you were overcome with emotion. Austin was standing there, beaming at you like the first ray of sunshine after a storm.

You spring out of your chair and throw your arms around his neck, burying your face in his chest as you softly weep. Every negative feeling you had - every doubt, every ache, every pain, every cutting remark, every insecurity - felt like it was being purged from your body through your tears. You feel his arms enfold you. He holds you tight and supports you as you come undone in his embrace.

“I love you too,” you whisper, tugging at the folds of his shirt.

You finally feel safe again.

Tag list: @thefloatingpickle and @psycheetamore

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this! 💜

[komaedas-fragments]

@betterthannothing-1191

*Hajime is quick to act once he receives word that the video has been finished.

He can’t exactly march down to the nurse’s office by himself— that would be stupid. It takes him a while to figure out who exactly to bring with him in case something goes poorly, which it almost definitely will. Kuzuryu seems eager to jump on board and so does Owari, despite the latter seeming to have a bit less awareness of what’s going on.

Meanwhile, Tsumiki is in the nurse’s office with Komaeda, pestering him for probably the millionth time to take some sort of medicine. Clearly a bit frazzled after the earlier incident, as well as growing increasingly concerned over Enoshima’s absence and suffering from a lack of sleep, she’s definitely a bit off today. She mutters unintelligibly under her breath as she twists her bandaged fingers together.*

What do I do… what do I do…

[Komaeda hardly knew how to think anymore, as if he was good with memory to begin with.

He seemed almost halfway to the grave at this point, having only slept a couple times in a handful of days. Refusing to eat anything given to him, barely drinking enough water to just keep himself alive, Komaeda couldn’t think. If this was how he was going to die, he would’ve wondered what did he do to deserve such a slow, agonising death.

He’s Komaeda Nagito. That’s the answer he’d come to.

But Komaeda didn’t have the willpower to spare a second thought, or even a first, mumbling something out of irritation from having to hear Tsumiki any more than he already had to.]

What you should do is- hkk— leave me alone…what are you gaining…from something like— this…

[softonstyles]

Part Thirteen

Part Twelve

Word Count: 2.7K

Crawling out of bed the next morning felt like a cruel joke.

Then again, in some twisted way, Aurora figured she probably deserved it.

In a moment of either stubborn pride or quiet self-destruction (she wasn’t quite sure which), Aurora agreed to join Charlotte and Ben on their early morning walk around the reservoir. Normally, Charlotte wouldn’t be caught dead out of bed before noon, which only confirmed what Aurora suspected: Ben was good for her. Good enough to help her break a few bad habits, at least.

Aurora welcomed the bite in the air; it gave her a convenient excuse for her pink, blotchy face. Not that Charlotte had noticed — she was too wrapped up in her conversation with Ben, laughing at something he would say every other minute. Their strides matched, shoulders brushing as they moved in sync. At some point, Aurora had quietly fallen behind, giving them space to disappear into their own little world.

Which, of course, left her alone with hers — a place that felt a bit dangerous this morning.

“Do you regret it?”

“Of course I don’t. That’s the problem.”

Aurora blinked hard and lifted her gaze to the trees swaying in the wind. She was here to reset, not unravel.

The reservoir, like the town itself, held a quiet, undeniable beauty. Even beneath a brooding sky, the autumn leaves burned along the mountainside; their fire mirrored in the water’s calm shimmer. It looked pure enough to bottle, and after forgoing hers, Aurora was almost tempted to drink straight from the source. People always said Vermont was unmatched in the fall — now she could confirm it firsthand.

And if she keeled over from drinking lake water, or a broken heart, at least it would be with a view.

As they walked along the trail, something caught her eye — a round, white-painted structure sitting deeper in the field, just before the trees took over. It looked like a gazebo, quietly tucked away in nature.

“Is that a gazebo?” Aurora called out, her voice cutting through the stillness. 

Charlotte turned around. “Huh?” But when she followed Aurora’s gaze, her face lit up with recognition. “Oh, yeah! Want to check it out?”

Aurora was already veering toward it. Now Charlotte and Ben had to catch up to her.

She couldn’t explain why, but she loved hidden spots like this. Especially in the middle of nature. They did something good for her — settled her, grounded her. And grounding was exactly what she needed.

The gazebo turned out to be even more perfect up close. On one side, it overlooked the reservoir’s glinting surface; on the other, a cascade of fall foliage climbed up the mountains. Aurora sat right in the middle, angled so she could take in both views if she turned her head. But for now, she leaned back until her spine met the wooden wall and tipped her face to the sky, closing her eyes and exhaling slowly.

Charlotte joined her with a soft thud and an even softer expression.

“You okay?”

Aurora cracked one eye open and gave her a thin, practiced smile. “Never better.”

Charlotte didn’t press. She didn’t have to. She knew her friend well enough to sense something was off — but she also knew not to dig, especially in front of Ben. Aurora could feel her silence morph into suspicion, and the weight of it only made her heart race faster. She didn’t want to talk. Couldn’t. Not about last night.

She needed time to recalibrate.

“So,” Ben piped up, breaking the tension. “Charlotte mentioned you’re coming to Cambridge with us tonight?”

Aurora hadn’t officially agreed. But when Charlotte spun around and shot her a hopeful look, she understood her cue.

“That’s right,” she nodded, smoothing her voice into something casual. “Post-Thanksgiving tradition, yeah?”

“Exactly,” Ben agreed, his grin widening. “My best friend Mason and his girlfriend Marilyn will be there — she’s in your cohort, right? And my buddy Kyle, who I think you’d really get along with.”

That last part wasn’t subtle.

Aurora managed to keep her expression level, but internally, her nerves tangled. Where to even begin?

First, seeing Marilyn right now — especially in a setting that required polite conversation — made her stomach turn. And then there was the obvious set-up with Kyle. Under normal circumstances, being introduced to a cute friend would have intrigued her. But she was currently operating under non-normal circumstances and the idea of being with someone other than Harry made her nauseous. Her heart still felt raw, cracked open from the night before.

And to top it all off — Marilyn’s boyfriend was named Mason? That was only one letter away from Manson and even that felt a little too poetic for someone like her.

Charlotte must have picked up on the hesitation, because she quickly chimed in. “You’re going to have so much fun, I promise! Ben’s friends are all so sweet,” then, with a nudge that was anything but subtle, she added, “especially Kyle.”

Aurora felt the unspoken pressure settle around her. Charlotte clearly sensed something was off, and she was trying — clumsily, but sweetly — to help. To lift her up with the idea of a night out and a cute guy.

She didn’t want to flirt. Didn’t want to fake a smile or pretend she wasn’t unraveling inside. But even more than that, she didn’t want to explain why.

So, Aurora gave them the response she knew they wanted to hear.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Her tone was convincing enough to fool Ben, but Charlotte leaned in, resting her head gently on Aurora’s shoulder.

“Are you sure everything’s alright?”

Her voice was soft, sincere. Concern colored every word. And Aurora — well, she was only human. She nearly broke right there. She wanted to confess everything about last night, to scrub herself clean of the guilt, the shame, the confusion. . . the aching emptiness that came along with feeling everything but love.

But she couldn’t. Lying to Charlotte gutted her, it always had. And even if she was hurt by Harry, the thought of hurting him felt worse. 

“Everything’s fine, Char.” Aurora said, forcing reassurance into her voice. But she knew it wouldn’t be enough — Charlotte would remain suspicious unless she gave her something. “I just. . . forgot to call my family yesterday and now they’re icing me out. You know how petty my mom can be sometimes.”

Charlotte leaned back to look at her. “Aw, Aurora, don’t beat yourself up. Yesterday was so busy — they’ll understand. I bet they just miss you. You’ll see them soon for Christmas, anyway.” Then, with a smirk: “And yeah, Mrs. Rivera can be petty — but anyone who makes buñuelos that good gets a pass.”

Aurora laughed, genuinely. Charlotte always knew how to ease the pressure, even without knowing what was really going on. That was what hurt the most — that the one person she knew could help her through this storm was the only person she couldn’t talk to about it.

“Sorry to interrupt, ladies,” Ben said, approaching. “But the sky’s getting dark. Let’s get you both home before it starts pouring.”

He offered each of them an elbow. They linked arms with a giggle and began their walk back, Aurora letting herself laugh a little more freely than she had all morning.

————— ୨୧ —————

Aurora and Charlotte hadn’t been lucky enough to beat the rain home. Ben, ever the gentleman, had shrugged off his jacket and draped it over their shoulders. His North Face wasn’t quite large enough to cover them both once the downpour began in earnest, but the hood had done its job — at least their hair was (mostly) spared.

They laughed as they ran the rest of the way back, breathless by the time they kicked off their shoes in the foyer. It wasn’t until they peeled off Ben’s jacket that Aurora realized just how damp she actually was. Her workout set wasn’t completely soaked, but dark, wet patches clung to the fabric, and her curls were already starting to frizz. A towel was definitely in order.

The rich scent of something baking in the oven wafted from the kitchen, along with the sound of shifting pans.

“Stay here,” Charlotte said, already tugging off her socks. “I’ll grab us a towel from upstairs.”

Aurora opened her mouth to protest — being left alone, even if only for a second, risked running into him — but the words never came. She just watched Charlotte disappear upstairs and silently willed her to be quick.

“What’s all the commotion?”

Of course.

As if on cue, Harry stepped into view from around the corner. The first thing Aurora noticed was the grey apron tied around his waist — and the slightly unbuttoned silk shirt beneath it, revealing just the faintest trace of a chest tattoo. Her eyes dropped before darting back up to his face, silently praying he hadn’t noticed.

He looked maddeningly good. 

His curls were slightly damp, freshly styled. The stubble she’d felt brush her skin the night before was now clean-shaven. But something in his expression was off. No charming grin. No glint in his eye.

He looked tired.

“Aurora?” He asked, surprise softening his features. He paused, eyes scanning her soaked figure. “Did you just come from outside? I thought you were still in bed.”

“Uh, yeah. Charlotte and I went for a walk with Ben — around the reservoir. Got, um, caught in the rain.” She gestured vaguely behind her, words tumbling fast as her gaze fixed on anything but him.

He didn’t respond right away, just stared at her for a moment too long. Aurora shifted on her feet, wishing the floor would just swallow her whole. She hadn’t planned to face him, especially not like this. Looking like a scared, wet kitten.

Where the hell is Charlotte?

“You’re wet,” Harry finally said, the corners of his mouth twitching.

Aurora looked down at her clothes. “Oh, really?” She deadpanned, raising an eyebrow and giving him a crooked smile. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Harry chuckled despite himself, the sound cutting through the tension. He stepped closer, and she noticed the kitchen towel in his hand. “C’mere.”

When he reached her, he began gently dabbing her arms and shoulders. It was difficult, but she managed to contain the urge to lean into his touch.

Once her arms were dry enough, he tipped her chin up with his free hand and began patting her face. His brows drew together in quiet concentration, focused, as if she were something fragile.

She closed her eyes under his touch, feeling every careful movement as it etched into her memory. When she opened them, he was still there, looking directly at her.

“That’s better.”

Still, he didn’t move. One hand remained on her cheek, the other lightly resting against her jaw. His eyes were stormy, unreadable — like there was so much he wanted to say but couldn’t.

And then —

Footsteps.

“Sorry!” Charlotte called out. “Had to hunt the towels down in the laundry room — oh, hey, dad.”

Harry pulled back, quickly turning toward her. “Morning, lovie. I’m surprised you’re up this early.”

Aurora swallowed hard.

Classic Char? More like classic Harry. Always knowing when to play it cool.

“Rude.” Charlotte rolled her eyes and tossed Aurora a towel, playfully swatting Harry with the other. “Ben wanted to go for a morning walk, so I dragged Aurora with us.” Then her eyes narrowed. “And why are you so dressed up? I thought you were off today?”

“About that —”

“Dad. It’s the day after Thanksgiving. You should be relaxing.”

“And I will. But we had a software update last night that messed with one of our platforms and I need to check on it.” Then, with a softer tone, “Which is why I made your favorite breakfast to make up for it. You two enjoy it without me, okay?”

He turned to Aurora as he said it. Her towel was now wrapped around her like a cocoon, and she stepped forward politely. “Thanks, Mr. Styles.”

Ugh. Mr. Styles. It sounded weird on her tongue. 

Harry’s eyes shifted to the floor as he said, “Let me plate it for you before I head out.”

Now it was Charlotte’s turn to feel bad. “That’s okay, dad —”

“No, I insist.”

They followed him into the kitchen. Charlotte gave Aurora a small look — one that Aurora returned with a light squeeze to her shoulder, knowing these little work interruptions reminded her friend too much of her childhood. 

“Sit, sit.”

They slid into the breakfast nook by the window, watching Harry plate their meals.

“Does this mean you’re not doing Friendsgiving this year?” Charlotte asked.

Harry easily popped a slice of bacon into his mouth, and Aurora swore it was the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. She needed to get a grip.

“Absolutely not. I’ll be home before six, and Friendsgiving starts at eight.”

He set down two full plates — breakfast quiche, bacon, and a colorful fruit spread. 

“This looks delicious,” Aurora said, smiling up at him.

“Save your praise until you taste it.” Harry teased.

Aurora coughed, reaching for her water.

“Thanks, dad. Pretty sure your breakfast quiche is in my top three favorite dishes you make,” Charlotte said, already digging in.

Aurora took a bite just as Charlotte asked, “So, who’s hosting Friendsgiving this year?”

“Katy.”

Katy?

Katy?!

Aurora choked for the second time.

Both Harry and Charlotte looked at her, concerned. Charlotte patted her back. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Aurora croaked. “Just. . . this quiche.”

“It’s too dry?” Harry asked, brow raised.

She quickly looked up. “No, no!”

“You don’t like it.”

“It’s amazing! I just need to. . . eat slower, that’s all.”

He didn’t look convinced, but nodded. “Please. Take your time, Aurora.” His tone was gentle, but when he turned to Charlotte, Aurora could still feel his gaze on her. 

She caught the way his hand drifted to the back of his neck, ringed fingers kneading the same spot he’d rubbed the night before. The familiar motion tugged at her memory — and stirred a quiet worry. Was he experiencing pain?

“That’s cool. We’ll probably miss you — we’re going to Cambridge’s tonight.”

“Really?” Harry’s response was immediate. Aurora didn’t miss the way his voice edged with surprise, maybe even concern. “That sounds. . . fun,” he added, slower this time.

Charlotte scoffed. “You sounded pained saying that.”

Harry forced a tight chuckle. “I just didn’t picture Cambridge being Aurora’s vibe,” he said, eyes shifting to her. “I hope Charlotte isn’t being a bad influence on you.”

“No, never,” Aurora gave an awkward laugh. “Apparently it’s Ben’s version of Friendsgiving.”

She didn’t owe him an explanation — especially not when he had plans with Katy — but she offered it anyway. 

“So, you’ll be with Ben and his friends.” Harry repeated, slower this time, like he was testing the words. 

Charlotte rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, dad. We’ll be in good hands tonight, I promise.”

“I trust Bennett will get you both home safely.”

Aurora caught the cool edge in his voice — sharp enough that Charlotte probably noticed it too. But she didn’t say a word.

After a short beat, Harry leaned in and pressed a kiss to the top of Charlotte’s head. “Be safe tonight. Call if you need anything, okay? I’ll keep my phone on loud.”

Then he hesitated.

His hand settled briefly on Aurora’s shoulder, the touch light but deliberate.

“I mean it,” he said, his voice quieter now — more pointed.

She looked up at him. “Of course. Good luck with the software.”

“Thanks. I’m going to need it.”

He offered them both a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes before disappearing through the back door with an apple in hand.

“That was weird,” Charlotte murmured.

Aurora’s heart skipped. “What was?”

“He’s known Ben since I was sixteen. Not once has he ever called him ‘Bennett.’ Did you hear that? It sounded so. . . formal.”

Aurora blinked, playing dumb. “Yeah. Weird.”

Phew.

“Whatever,” Charlotte said, shaking her head before taking another bite of her quiche. “Let’s finish up — it’s raining, which makes it the perfect day to shop for something hot to wear tonight.”

Aurora managed a laugh, hollow and automatic.

Tag List: (thank you all for tuning in - please let me know if you would like to be added/removed from this list): @fangirl509east @saraxoxo12567 @kyle-xian @mellamolayla @gem1712 @br3akfestattiffanys @amazinglystyles @harryyloverrr @batmanwoman8 @cherrywinerare @hannah9921 @xoxmatilda @femalestyles @boom-shaka-la @mrswidowjohansson @gigglingstyles @tobegoodisgood @fruity-harry @angeldavis777 @hoiyrings @dakotas-trash @musicforastylesrestaurant @chelsohhh @eversinceharryx

[clo-caillea]

Okay, I'm gunna immediately start with: I'm not starting an argument here, I'm just adding to the discussion, you're entitled to how you feel about it, and I get it.

And, I'll be discussing the endng in detail now, so adding read more and warning others that join, spoilers ahead yall --

I think the point of either ending is that no matter what you choose, it's not a happy ending.

It's not supposed to give hope for humanity: it's meant to be a horrifying decision. That's why they made us work on building our relationship with the team the entire time leading up to the end: so you feel the weight of that decision. We built up friendships, we watched our painted party laugh and cry and yell in anger. We helped Sciel through her fear of swimming, and we gave Lune the answers of what happened to her parents, and were there for her when she processed that. We've watched Maelle mourn Gustave and we've experienced everyone's pain at all that they've lost from the gommage.

We know they're real enough that it's supposed to feel guilty and wrong either way. I mean, we fought for this world, not even just once, but twice.

Plus, even if we utterly remove discussion of the canvas, we're also forcing Maelle/Alicia to return from a world where she was powerful and could speak again, into the one where she's disabled and in constant pain and alone. Even the final scene of the family around Verso's grave, there's no indication that she's going to have support from her family to deal with all that she's lost now - and we know that she's going to be mourning so much more than JUST her brother. She lived in that world for a whole lifetime while everyone else was fighting each other. She had families, she had friends, and she knew every person that's been erased now. She's going to be mourning them all, AND having to mourn her brother twice as well, after spending so much time with his painted replica. She didn't just lose him in the fire, she lost him again to the canvas.

And I felt like they wrote it all actually incredibly well to bring the feelings forward of guilt and being unsure if you did the right thing, or hating that there wasn't an option that made everyone happy, you know? That's my gripe, personally, I wanted to let Maelle stay, not destroy everything, but also let Verso finally go and his soul fully rest. I wanted a happy for everyone middle ground.

I've even posted that I understood Maelle's ending and could support MOST of it - I just got the ick with her using her paintress powers in the final moment to force Verso to play for them. But her ending makes sense and I understand it and I could support it too because all those people ARE real, they made sure we FELT that by that point. I just didn't like that she couldn’t just leave Verso to hate his life and grow old in peace.

Like I fully get where you're coming from, but I fail to see at what point during the ending cutscenes is it portrayed like it's supposed to end with us feeling a sense of hope or like it was the right decision. It's supposed to still be heavy even when you pick the true ending. I don't think they ever intended for us to walk away from this happy in any capacity, and I do personally feel like they connected everything exactly as intended.

I think one of the unintended consequences of Clair Obscur writing falling apart completely in Act 3 is showcasing just how effective propaganda can be and just how many people can be made to be okay with attricities by using nothing but simple narrative framing and some emotional manipulation.

It reveals how many people are willing to ignore the horrifying and grotesque atrocities and justify them just so they can feel better emotionally about their choices — ironically an opposite message than the game attempts to present.

It doesn't inspire hope for humanity for me but it does shed some light on responsibility an author has for the themes in their story and why it's important to figure out those concepts first and foremost.

Figure out your endings and thematic conclusions before you even start to outline, people. Or you'll end up like this game.

[tanjir0se]

Love Me Mercilessly Ch 21–The Ocean

Giyuu awakens.

The thrilling kind of conclusion to my months-long Sanegiyuu fugue state! Full chapter up NOW on AO3 and of course a sneak peek below!

“Genya—!” Tanjiro whispered fiercely, wiggling against Genya’s arms around him. “Genya, wake up!” Genya groaned and peeked one eye open.

“Huh?”

“I think Giyuu-san is awake!” Tanjiro said, wiggling harder. Genya unraveled his arms from around him and picked his head up to listen to the muffled voices of their brothers. Tanjiro was already throwing his legs over the side of the cot.

“Um, Tanjiro, I think maybe—”

“Giyuu-san!” Tanjiro practically tripped over himself on his way out of the adjacent room and back to the foyer. Genya threw off his blankets and followed. Both stopped dead once they made it to the doorway.

Sanemi had pulled back and looked into Giyuu’s face, still holding on tightly to both sides of it.

“He’s okay. Everybody’s okay.” Sanemi whispered. He could feel the eyes of the meager few Kakushi on them, could feel the boys at their backs. He didn’t care. His previous plan of patiently listening to what it was Giyuu had had to say, like he should have known would happen to all his plans from here on out, was no match for the pain, the bliss of seeing Giyuu’s beautiful blue eyes open and alive again.

Giyuu blinked and tried to sit up, recalling Sanemi leaning down over him at the battlefield, drawing him up into his lap. Now, Sanemi’s eyes were wide, tearful, wild, as beautiful as they were then. Giyuu opened his mouth. In case I die, I need to tell you…

READ THE FULL CHAPTER NOW AND CRY WITH ME !!!!!!!

[tonycries]

Like An Animal - T.F.

Synopsis. Of course Toji doesn’t want any more kids. Of course he’s lying as he stuffs your pretty cúnt full of his cúm for the third time tonight.

Pairing. Toji Fushiguro x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, established relationship, unprotected, cúmplay, mating press, chóking, overstim, oral (female receiving), créampie, dirty talk, Toji really REALLY wants to get you pregnant, spitting, mentioned kids, absolutely filthy, pet names, swearing.

Word count. 4.5k

A/N. Need this man so bad you don’t even understand AAA.

Toji Fushiguro didn’t want any more kids. Why would he? They were messy, expensive, and it was a sheer miracle that Megumi wasn’t anything like the little demons he’s seen during drop-off at the kindergarten. He didn’t need another reason to watch Babyshark for five hours straight - and he wasn’t about to change his mind anytime soon. 

Or, so he thought.

“Hey doll, m’home- what the f-”

“Toji! Language!” you hiss, hastily covering the ears of a very oblivious Yuji, who was deeply engrossed in mixing icing. 

Oh? 

Now, there have only been three times in his life that Toji has been truly taken aback. The first being when he discovered that yes, Megumi’s hair really does stand up that way naturally. Second, when he realized that he was falling for you - and that oh shit maybe he does still have feelings somewhere in there after all. 

And finally, right now, the sight of you covered in flour and wrestling three giggly toddlers into some semblance of order in the kitchen. “Welcome home, handsome.”

Oh. 

It made something deep inside him lurch so strangely.

“Why…” Toji rasps, eyes flitting between the mixing bowls messily clinked together and the three toddlers happily stood on stools, flour in their hair and matching smiles on your faces. “Why have they multiplied?” 

“We’re baking cookies!” Yuji exclaims from the counter, swiping a thick wad of dough on Nobara’s hair. To which the latter responds with a swift smack on the head. 

You smirk at your dumbfounded boyfriend, “Well, Toji, it seems that when you leave me alone with a batch of cookies to bake, I have a tendency to summon reinforcements.” Gesturing at the chaos surrounding you, “Megs wanted to bake some cookies before his sleepover at Yuji’s so I had these three over because we have more than enough space.”

“I see…does insurance cover this kitchen?”

Rolling your eyes, “Oh c’mon, don’t be such a spoilsport.” You reach for the batch of freshly baked goods, “You’re just in time to taste-test our latest creation!”

And, well, how could he ever say no to you? Although - flour-dusted and disheveled - some strange part of himself thinks you look even more gorgeous than usual right now, as if that was even possible. His girl was so pretty, even when you’re wrangling three little gremlins. Too pretty. Toji just couldn’t get his head around that nagging little voice saying you looked so pretty especially when you’re wrangling three little gre-

“Ehh? Fushiguro is your dad blushing?”

“Gross.”

“You idiots he isn’t blushing, it’s called ‘swooning’. My mommy says it’s a grown-up thing.”

It was hard to not hear the (extremely loud) whispers from behind you, but it was even harder to ignore the slight red tinting Toji’s ears as he pointedly reached out for the tray you were holding. Fingers barely even brushing against the cookies before a tiny voice speaks up, “Mama, can I have one too?”

You freeze. Toji freezes. You think the whole world freezes except for Yuji and Nobara who stifle giggles behind their hands.

“Look Kugisaki, now he’s really swooning.”

“Yeah, my mommy says that’s also how you get babies. You swoon and pop! they appear.”

Toji raises a brow at Nobara, gritting out a strained, “Your mommy says a lot, huh?” That jolts you out of your reverie, and you flash a gentle smile at a very red-faced Megumi. Leaning down to reply, “Of course, sweetie.”

And as he mumbles a quick “Thank you”, hastily grabbing another cookie and retreating to a corner of the kitchen - hoping to disappear into the shadows - you risk a glance at Toji. Cheeks flushed hard enough to rival Megumi’s, ah, like father like son. 

“Anyway, don’t just stand there. Come help me n’ the kids, Yuji’s grandpa’s coming to pick them up soon!” you playfully swat at your boyfriend’s sculpted chest, going back to busying yourself with the icing. 

Toji, however, was having an epiphany that was altering his perception of reality, one that he’d probably been denying ever since he stepped in through that damn front door. You. The kids. You and the kids. You and his kids. 

“Mama.”

And Megumi’s little slip-up had been the final nail on his coffin to certify that oh Toji Fushiguro was utterly and irrevocably screwed. And he’d like to blame it all on you being such a goddamn wonder, but he’s got a nagging feeling that the three little gremlins currently decorating cookies share an equal part of the blame. 

What was it that girl had said? Swooning is how you get babies? Because, well, eyeing the way you scooped up a pouty Megumi in your arms, chatting animatedly with a tittering Nobara and Yuji, only one thought rings through his mind - damn right, kid.

---

“-and make sure to brush your teeth. No faking this time, okay? I’ve told Yuji’s grandpa to check. And-”

“No summoning demons, and no summoning the police. Though you’re probably too young for that.” Toji interrupts your little tirade, ruffling the hair of a very disgruntled Megumi. “Have fun, little man.”

You giggle at the usual father-son dynamic, but as you waved off Megumi and his friends, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that something in the air felt a bit different. Something a bit tense. A bit exciting.

Maybe it was the heavy silence that hung in the room after that door slammed shut, leaving just you and Toji all alone in the house. Forcing you to register the heat of his large frame looming behind yours. When did he get so close? Or maybe it was the prickly of his gaze on your back, a resounding slam! echoing in your ears as he cages you against the door. 

Or maybe - just maybe - it was the way he leaned down to whisper in your ear, husky and tinged with something so utterly dangerous. 

“So…mama, huh?” 

A thrill goes down your spine at his words. “Oh, stop.” you wave off, though you feel your cheeks flaring up in response. Especially as he plows on, “Why? I think you make a great mama.”

You scoff, casting a sidelong glance at the muscular arm just inches away from your head. “Don’t joke, Megs was so embarrassed after that.”

“I’m not joking.”

Your back hits the cool door before you can react. Toji’s hands almost painful on your shoulders, muscles rippling as he turns you to face him. You raise your eyes to meet his and oh-

Oh shit. 

Whatever retort on the tip of your tongue dies as you take in the man before you. His expression darkened, breaths slightly labored, eyes half-lidded and locked on you. You’d almost have been worried at the sudden flip of personality had it not been for the words that spill from his lips. 

“I’m not joking.” he repeats, voice strangled. 

Great, the man has finally lost it. Despite the traitorous throbbing in your cunt, you try to make sense of the situation. “Toji, this joke has-”

Your words get caught in your throat as he raises a hand to squish your cheeks together into an almost-embarrassing pout, looking down at you through dazed eyes. “Do I look like I’m joking, doll?” Leaning down to lick a stripe up a smudge of icing on your cheek. Lingering far too long, murmuring into your skin, “What do you think?” 

In the heat of it all, you manage to choke out, “W-what?”

“Don’t you think,” he mutters, as strained as if he were about to snap any second. Losing his sanity with each word that comes out of his mouth. “That you’d make the best mama?”

“I mean- yes-”

And then his lips are on yours, shutting you up - bruising. Such a sloppy mix of teeth and spit as he drinks you in with an aching desperation. Toji breathes in your gasp as you feel his cock, hard and throbbing against your front. 

“Fuck.” he hisses into your mouth. “Not enough, ma. Need you s’bad.”

The buttons hit the floor before you realize what’s happening. Toji’s fisting your shirt in one hand, too impatient - too starved - he pulls down, down, down. Ripping. Urgently moving down to your shorts- “Those are expensi-” you yelp. 

But it’s useless - the tattered fabric hits the ground faster than your jaw as he groans out a quick, “I’ll buy ya a new one when we shop for baby clothes.”

Pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, hands trailing up your thighs. He swiftly unclasps your bra, mouth dropping into a soft little oh! at the sight, immediately groping each and every inch of skin he could reach. Tweaking and rolling your swollen nipples on his fingers in wonder. “Oh, doll. These are gonna be s’full, huh? Wan’ taste how sweet you’ll be.”

“T-Toji hah-” you whine, as he takes one nipple in his mouth. Lips wrapped so prettily around your tit as he tugs lightly, sucking harshly like he was miraculously trying to draw milk out. Looking up at you so obscenely through his thick lashes. “Ngh- wan’ more.” you buck your hips, grinding against his thick cock. 

And, well, how could Toji ever deny the mother of his children?

Because he immediately drops to his knees, biting down on the thin fabric of your soaked panties. Tugging with his teeth, “This what you want, ma?” he slurs. Eyes rolling to the back of his head as he breathes in the scent of your dripping pussy, “Wan’ me to eat out your pretty lil’ cunt? Jus��� say the word.”

“Please, daddy.”

“Tha’s my girl.”

And then he’s pulling - tearing your drenched panties to shreds with his teeth. Flashing you a devilish grin at the sinful strings of slick that connect you to the flimsy fabric. Oh Toji had half the mind to tease you about how wet you were already, but no, he had no time to waste.

With a guttural, fucked-out little grunt, he’s surging forward, diving face first into your pretty pussy. Nose pressing against your throbbing clit, licking a long, languid stripe up your swollen folds. 

“Oh hngh- please.” you mewl, as he buries himself deeper into your dripping cunt. Tongue bullying its way past your folds to lap at your slick, not stopping till he’s had his fill of your sweet juices. “M-more.”

Two large hands dip into your waist as he wraps his glossy lips around your pulsing clit to suck harshly, both keeping you still and supporting your weight as your knees weaken. Toji can’t have his pretty girl hurt herself right before he fills her up n’ gets her pregnant, right?

“Sure ya can handle more, ma?” Electricity runs up your spine as your boyfriend rolls his tongue across your clit just the way he knew you liked. “Y’should be thanking me for not jus’ stuffing you full of my cock like I want to right now.” 

“Then hah- why don’t you?”

Toji pulls away ever-so-slightly, relishing in the delirious little whine of disappointment that leaves you. One that quickly turns into a surprised squeal as he spit a steady stream of spit into your quivering cunt, spreading it across your pussy with his thumb.

Sloppy - it was so fucking sloppy. He looked at you like you were his favorite meal and ate you out just as much. 

Your juices decorating his lips like a badge of honor. Smearing across the bottom half of his face and trickling down his jaw. One which moves as he utters, “Can’t break the mother of my kids, doll.” 

But oh how you’d beg to differ as he brings his face to your sloppy pussy once more, tongue darting out to catch the obscene little drip! drip! drip! of your slick. “Gon’ be the best fucking dad to all three of ‘em.”

“T-three?”

And with that, he’s squeezing his soft tongue into your tight pussy. Throwing your left leg over his sculpted shoulder to make out deeper with your cunt. You tug on his hair pathetically, impatiently. Cute little whines of his name leaving you each time he drips into your sloppy pussy, stretching you out, swiping at your clit, thrusting in and out of your sloppy hole. Over and over-

“Yeah, three.” he mutters into your folds, “Gon’ give me two more beautiful babies? Gon’ be so round n’ pretty with my kids?” Tongue curling deftly against that one spot he knew would have you keening and rocking your pretty cunt into his mouth. 

“Ah- fuck fuck fuck- hngh- yes!” you moan, body jerking violently at the way he hit that spot over and over.  

He huffs out a laugh, hungry gaze taking in that cute, desperate expression on your face. Toji just couldn’t help but tease you a little bit. “Use your words, ma.”

“H-huh?”

“Tell me what you want.”

You gasp out a pathetic little sob, “Want to so badly. Wan’ you to hah- fill me up hngh- W-wan’ cum-”

“So demanding.” he titters teasingly into your cunt, vibrations making you drag your pussy more erratically on his mean mouth. Now, Toji could tease you with his tongue for hours until you’re crying and begging for his cock. But right now, he doesn’t think he has any more patience nor sanity. “I love that.”

Toji knows by the way your pretty pussy clenches around his tongue that you’re close, pulse urgent on his face as he greedily laps at your cunt. So he speeds up his movements, drinking you in like a madman. 

A hand snaking up to plunge knuckle-deep into your sloppy entrance. Pussy taking him so readily after being stretched out on his tongue. Your adorable, fucked-out little whines of his name going straight to his rock-hard dick as he fucks you with his fingers the way he wants to with his cock. Two fingers thrusting in and out while his thumb draws rapid little circles on your clit. Sinking his teeth gently into your swollen folds.

Bucking into his touch, “Hah! S’too much, daddy. Hngh, g-gonna cum ah! Gonna cum-”

“Then cum, doll.”

And you are - fast and violent. 

Plushy walls clamping down on Toji’s fingers as if your fluttering cunt was trying to suck him up. Mind hazy and your only thoughts being about Toji and his tongue and Toji-

“Mmm taste s’sweet, love you on m’tongue.” he grunts, breathing you in and letting your juices slide down his throat. Lewd squelches in time with your cute lil’ whines as you ride out your orgasm on his pretty face. Tongue fucking you through your high. 

“Had fun, ma?” Toji grins once you blink back your vision, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. Dangerous little smile only growing at your barely-lucid nod. 

Ah, but even the ever-confident Toji Fushiguro faltered as your shaky hands reached out to pet his achingly hard cock. Swollen and leaking a mouthwatering dark patch against his trousers. 

“Wan’ your cock now, daddy.” you murmur, watching the way his darkened eyes widen ever-so-slightly, breath hitching. “Wan’ you to fill me up over n’ over like you promised.”

Oh you little minx, with all your dirty tricks - you were going to be the death of him. 

With a dark little chuckle of disbelief, Toji rises to his full height. Lips capturing yours in a bruising kiss - tongue licking at the seam of your mouth and intertwining with yours. Forcing you to taste yourself on him. So sweet of sin and all his dreams of stuffing you till you were sure to have his kids - two of them, in fact. 

“Anything y’want, doll.” he whispers into your lips. 

And that’s all that is said before the clinking of a belt rings in the heady air. The realization that you were so naked and splayed out for him while he was still unfairly clothed finally hitting as Toji peels his shirt off. Your mouth waters at the chiseled front, hands immediately reaching to squeeze his large pecs. Running your hands along his body. 

“Ah, fuck.” he shudders, “Y’never change, huh?” 

Yet your greedy hands are momentarily stunned as he lets his pants fall to the floor with his boxers. Rock-hard cock springing up and hitting his stomach. 

He was so painfully hard that it made your cunt quiver in anticipation. Red and throbbing, soaked in precum and glistening in the dim lighting. Twitching at the sound of your voice as you say “Want you to fucking ruin me, daddy.” you blink up at Toji, all doe-eyed and teary after your last orgasm. 

And oh does that make him snap - maybe his sanity, maybe you by the end of this, because before you know it, Toji’s spreading your legs with his knee. Biting his bottom lip as your slick trails down your pretty cunt and onto your legs. 

“What m’girl wants.” he grits out, dragging his weeping tip across your swollen folds. Collecting your sweet juices on his head. “My girl- gets.”

You keen as Toji bullies his massive cock into your cunt on the last word. “Ngh- T-Toji.” you whine, vision flashing at the stretch. No matter how many times Toji stuffed you full of his cock - his size never failed to disappoint.

“Shhh, it’s okay. You can take it.” Trying to steady your breathing as he fucks into you in quick, mindless little jabs to fit himself inside your snug pussy. “I’ll make sure of it, doll. How else m’gonna breed your pretty lil’ cunt?”

Your dripping cunt rubs so deliciously against his abs, slick mixing with his precum and smearing across both your bodies. Filthy, and exactly what you wanted right now. 

“Shit, love when your pussy’s so messy. Now, legs.” he rasps, with a quick smack to your thighs. And that’s all that has to be said - your queue to wrap your legs around Toji’s waist, letting his strong arms lift you with ease. Splitting you apart deeper and deeper onto his cock, veins rubbing so deliciously against all the right spots. A maddening little bump! bump! bump! matching your heartbeat. 

“Ah! Hngh- Fuck fuck fuck, m’so full.” you keen, heels digging into his hips. 

Sliding down his cock far enough that his heavy balls meet your ass, already so wet with precum and slick. Ah, you were so full of him you almost felt like he was pushing against your lungs.

“Oh, yes.” Toji hisses, throwing his head back. “Fucking finally.” Finally he gets what he’s been aching for ever since those three gremlins stepped out the door. All the blood draining to his cock at the idea of fucking his cum into you till you couldn’t walk. Till you were so full of him that he was the only one you could think of. Hey, he needed to get some attention before the baby arrives, right?

“Need this s’bad. Fuck.” he gasps. Still pushing inside you despite bottoming out, shallow, desperate little grinds of his hips. “Gonna fuck a baby into you, you little slut. Fill you up with my seed till you can’t take it anymore.”

Neat little crescents of his fingernails on your ass as his thrusts get longer, more purposeful. Twitching balls smacking against your skin in such a lewd rhythm, matching the cute little ah! ah! ah! leaving your mouth each time his fat head hits your cervix. So deliciously painful. 

“C’mon, ma.” Toji moans, hips out of control now. Taking in the way your head was thrown back, body bouncing each time he rammed his cock into your tight cunt. But oh how he wanted to see the fucked-out expression on your face. “Look at me.”

So cockdrunk and delirious, you barely register the way Toji cradles your head to press his sweaty forehead against yours. Only looking up at him with delirious heart-eyes as he milked himself on your sloppy pussy. 

“Shit feel s’perfect split-apart on my cock. Really made for me, huh?” he gasps into your mouth. “Need to cum in this pretty pussy. Need to fill you up- ah- need this need this- fuck.”

“Shit shit shit, Toji m’so close. I’m hngh-”

A hand hurriedly unwraps from your waist to draw rapid, desperate little patterns on your cunt. Not even circles anymore because shit Toji couldn’t think of anything aside from the way your pussy was milking him so good- And how he was gonna fuck a baby into you and Megumi was gonna be the best big brother and-

“-you’ll bake with ‘em. And I’ll tuck ‘em to bed.” the words tumble out of his lips and into your parted mouth. Pussy drunk and babbling, “N’ we’re both taking those three to the park and try not to lose ‘em.”

Dragging himself inside you till his weeping tip kisses your sloppy hole. Fingers on your clit becoming more and more frantic. Fucking you so filthy, each word punctuated by quick, harsh thrusts, “Then at night m’gonna steal you all to myself, and y’know what, ma?”

At this point you can do nothing more than just take it as Toji bounces you on his cock in midair, sobbing out a strained, “W-what, daddy?”

Toji leans impossibly closer, thumb catching on your swollen lips, breath fanning your face as he mutters, “Gonna fuck another baby into you. Fill you with my cum all over again, doll. Give it all to you.”

Now, you’ve heard of orgasms that come out of nowhere and have you seeing stars. And this was no different - yet you see the pearly gates of heaven as you cream around his cock. “Ah! Hngh m’cumming m’cumming oh-”

He lets out a guttural groan as your nails rake his back, hips stuttering and sloppy now. Breathing out raggedly, “Yeah fuck jus’ like that use me like’ that- hngh squeezing me s’tight gonna cum. Gonna give my pretty baby my cum, fuck a baby into ya- oh-”

Body bowing into yours, teething latching onto the crook of your neck, biting down right over your pulse. Fingers digging and bruising on your hips, holding your filthy pussy to his cock as he cums with a strangled moan. Hard. almost painfully so. 

White-hot pleasure behind his eyes, pumping thick, hot ropes to fill your snug cunt. Just animalistic movements from such a carnal part of himself as he fucked his seed deeper and deeper into you. 

Not even thinking of stopping even as you keen at your poor overfilled pussy. Toji’s cum dripping down your legs and onto his quivering balls as he fucks you like an animal. Over and over and-

“Hey, who said we’re done, doll?” Toji tuts mockingly, snapping you out of the haze. “Don’t pass out on me just yet.”

And you don’t even realize it before he’s manhandling you onto the nearby couch. Pulling out only admire his seed gushing out of you, so white and hot and his. Cock twitching to life at the pool of cum and slick slowly forming on the cushion below. Fuck that, you’ll need a bigger couch for five people anyway.  

Ramming his throbbing cock into your poor, swollen pussy. Throwing your legs over his sculpted shoulders and bending down down down till your knees were at your tits. 

Not even bothering to let you adjust this time before he’s fucking you again and again and maybe he was whispering sweet nothings in your ear - probably it was just promises of how he was gonna fill your pretty lil’ cunt till Megumi gets home. Promises he fully intended to fulfill. 

“Fuck. One more. G-gotta make sure it takes, ma.” he swears into your mouth. Voice jagged, and you almost couldn’t recognize it as your boyfriend’s. Barely even lucid, just mindless motions of his hips as he watched your slutty cunt suck him up so good. “Yeah, who’s cum is that, doll? Who’s that painting your pretty pussy white?”

Drinking in the sobbed out little, “Y-you, Toji! Ah- Hngh-” as he starts ravaging your swollen clit again. Toji’s balls squeeze so painfully as he fucked you like his personal sextoy. And your pussy was so heavenly around him that you were basically asking for him to go harder. Begging. Begging him to ruin you. 

“Ah! Fuck I’m-” throat shot, you can’t even form a proper sentence before you’re seeing stars being your eyes. Walls milking Toji’s thick cock as you cum - almost painfully. Mouth dropping into a fucked-out little oh! tears streaking down your face. 

Ones that Toji can’t help but lick off, salty on his tongue as he cums again. And again and again. Voice stuck in his throat, eyes widening, the veins popping out on his arms as he pulls your hips closer to his. 

Hips burning now as he breeds you like some animal. Like he was ready to fill you up until he was shooting blanks and couldn’t anymore. Cum squelching out of your sloppy pussy and seeping into where you were joined. Ah, well, the couch was ruined - time for Plan B. 

Which is why Toji found himself wrestling you onto the cool floor, cock still twitching inside you, spreading you for him on whatever flat surface he could find. Milking his cock so he can cum more than he has his whole life. 

Both of you barely lucid at this point. He wasn’t even sure if he could cum again - but by God if he wasn’t going to try. He was drunk off of the feeling inside you, so warm and wet with him. So perfect to carry his child.

“Hngh- yes yes yes wan’ carry your child, daddy.” you whine. Oh shit, had he said that out loud? Ah, who gives a fuck at this point. The only thing he cared about now was the feeling of your sloppy lil’ pussy wrapped around him and whether Megumi would want a brother or a sister. 

“Hm, yeah? Like the idea huh, you little slut. Fuck s’perfect f’me- ngh-”

Running on just the sting of your nails down his back and your legs pulling him impossibly closer. Barely even thrusting at this point, just frantic shallow, grinds to milk his swollen cock. Trying to fuck out something delicious. It hurt, but it hurt so good. 

So good that Toji doesn’t even realize when he’s cumming again. Just faint little tingles before his cock is shooting thin, long wisps of cum, making you squeeze around him as he fills you up again and again.Your own orgasm just a small spike of euphoria before he starts moving inside you. Again.  

Ah, he wonders, vision hazy at the edges - but still perfectly capturing the white gushing out of your ravaged cunt. Taking in the messy floor, and your even messier pussy. Where to next, huh? He hasn’t even fucked you in the kitchen yet.

“N-next?” you repeat, eyes widening as much as they possibly could through the exhaustion and the urge to pass out. And oh he said that out loud too? Whoops.

“Of course.” he pools the cum trickling out of you on two fingers, shoving them in your mouth. Making your head spine as you choke and gag around his thick fingers, pressing the back of your tongue. Only two things ringing in your mind, Toji’s unforgiving cock - raw and hot, dragging against your ravaged walls again and again - and the words that spill from his lips.

“Besides, we gotta practice for the fourth one, too, ma.”

A/N. Fully believe this man will fuck you till both of you pass out. 

Plagiarism not authorized. 

[testyqwcde]

"Hail the new Dark Lord!” And he’s like “yes, yes, go finish destroy Eregion, and leave me alone with my future assistant.”"

Haha, I had a good laugh! 😂

I don’t think he’ll fully embrace his Dark Lord persona, at least, not until the War of Wrath. By Season 5, though, we might get hints that constant Ring bearing is taking its toll to imply that he won't restore his fair form: his wounds may heal more slowly and he begins to fear death. I can imagine that happening by the time of Numenor’s fall when his cruelty and Ring use reach its peak.

As for forging the One ring, he clearly couldn’t manage it on Morgoth’s magic alone. He tried that in season 1, to create the power over flesh but failed though he had the crown and he knew where the hilt was.

So the key to the creation of such power is Celebrimbor’s technique which they discovered at the time when Halbrand fled Eregion: he said that they used too much power, they should allow the metals coax together but not force them.

So the essence of creating the ring is the technique of coaxing them as well as the material it is made of.

We know it is gold. But is it really pure gold? The Rings for Men were made of Saurons blood.

This is a deviation from Tolkien's original works where the rings were not explicitly stated to be made of his essence.

So it seems Celebrimbor combines his blood with gold by coaxing it. Though it is still unclear why it was enough to use ordinary gold to create the dwarven rings and the rings for men when Celebrimbor said it should be from Valinor.

Coming back to the One ring,

What if it is not gold the ring is made of but the lava of the Mount Doom forged and bent like metal? Or combined with the gold of the Feanor' hammer.

Although the One ring is often referred to as "golden," that description is based solely on its appearance. What makes me question its true nature is Gandalf’s statement to Frodo: "It was plain and unadorned, and had no markings or device, but it looked to be made of pure and solid gold."

'Looked to be" sounds more like a visual impression, not a confirmation of its actual substance.

It would make sense for the One ring to be made from some kind of special material which would also explain why it can only be destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom. The fire in Mount Doom isn’t ordinary lava, it’s a powerful, ancient, magical flame, tied to the very foundations of the world.

You said that Sauron “fathers” the One Ring and that in Tolkien’s world, a child is the result of two souls coming together. But gold, lava or any physical material alone isn’t a soul. So maybe there was another ingredient that merged with Sauron’s own essence to give the Ring its full power.

This ingredient wouldn’t be forced into the Ring, it would be coaxed which will help to create something more than just a weapon but a pure source of temptation. That would explain why the Ring drives people to madness and obsession.

Maybe the Ring holds not only Sauron’s power but an amplified version of it, combined with the intense temptation Galadriel feels when she’s offered the chance to become queen. In this way, the Ring could be seen as a perfect alloy of elements that don’t naturally belong together, but when coaxed, create something far stronger. Just as Halbrand suggests in 1x08: “...could not the right alloy amplify those qualities?”.

Since the showrunners have described the relationship between Galadriel and Sauron as an alloy, it’s possible that the Ring contains a fusion of their ‘qualities’: the overwhelming power Sauron represents and the temptation Galadriel struggles with to possess the power offered. When combined in the Ring, these qualities are not just present, they are magnified and that makes the ring an irresistible force.

The elements coming together and causing chaos has been already implied by the show

Water (Galadriel)+ fire (Sauron)= Mount Doom Eruption

The trailer for the first season teased that fire combined with water will lead to the creation of the rings and the One ring.

So, Sauron's power+Galadriel's temptation= the One Ring

Love Charlie Vickers talking about how “true creation requires sacrifice” is Sauron’s motto for Season 3.

Yes, Charlie, we know that Sauron puts part of himself into the One ring. And this is probably what Celebrimbor did with the other rings of power? Is this what they’ll reveal in Season 3? Because there has been a lot of talk about how Celebrimbor holds the secrets of ring-making.

“I have learned so much from you, since I came to Eregion. But no lesson more lasting than this. True creation requires sacrifice.”

The forging of the One ring is the scene I’m most excited about. I wonder how Sauron will split his being to do this. Because it has to be more blood than he used for the Nine.

Maybe they’ll bring Morgoth’s crown into this? Since it was able to separate his being (spirit) from his fana (physical form) in a very dramatic way. If not, how can he do this? How can he split his being and bind it to a piece of gold?

[artemisiasmuse]

rafe cameron x sweet virgin!reader

she told you she celibate but she told me I can nail her shit

cw: mdni 18+, virgin!reader but has some other experience, lowkey a freak tho, toxic rafe, corruption kink : >, size kink, first times, rafe goes a lil crazy, sweetie pie reader x insane yandere bf rafe is lowkey my favorite trope

~ 6k words

a/n: happy valentine’s day my loves <3 i didn’t read this over and i’m so sorry if there’s hella mistakes i will fix it later! this may or not be self-insert yes even that part

the trouble all began with sarah cameron and her big mouth. well really both of you were to blame, but you’d think she would be quieter when her older brother was lurking around. you were older than her by a few years, closer to his age than hers, not that it mattered though, rafe treated you like you were practically wheezie’s age. you didn’t let it sting you any more you had long gotten over trying to be seen as a woman in rafe cameron’s eyes. or maybe you just stopped watching him, he’s always noticed you but you felt out reach, until now. when he overhears his sister’s words he almost breaks the glass of water he’s holding.

“a virgin at 19 looking like you do is insane” sarah looked you up and down as you tried on the dress you’d bought together at the mall. you got shy at her words, you knew she wasn’t judging you but instead genuinely in disbelief that men weren’t throwing themselves at you. you had long mastered the art of looking unapproachable and uninterested after too many bad experiences.

“stoppp is it so hard to believe, you know how bad it’s been for me?” he really hopes no one sees him leaning against the wall next to his sister’s door, he’d look like such a weirdo. wheezie would never let him live this down, she’d barely held back on letting his little crush slip before. if sarah ever found out he’d be in another hell.

“fuck you’re right, if they can’t make you come what’s the point?” rafe winced at his sister’s words, willing away the temptation to gag. he was trying to focus on the fact that no guy had made you come before instead.

“you’re awful, but i’m done with men for a long time. im gonna focus on college and not waste time on them.” he relished in the twisted feeling that no one could touch you, even if the losers before had a chance they clearly couldn’t cut it.

“righttt being in a dorm filled with horny guys is gonna make that easier.” sarah deadpanned and you shoved her, seeing her point. you hadn’t thought about it like that.

“okay leave me alone i’ve been successful so far”

“oh my god speak of the devil, john b’s calling me over, can you cover for me? i’ll be back in like two hours max, promise.” you were a little disappointed she was leaving you but you knew how difficult it was for her to see him without someone covering for her. you nodded and pulled out your phone.

“fine but i’m ordering pizza,” rafe didn’t know if he should be terrified or elated that you two would be home alone for two hours. why did it have to be today that the rest of his family fucked off? was this divine intervention?

“save me a slice!” rafe could hear his sister rustling around, getting ready to go, so he did the same.

“you’re gonna be too busy eating di-“ rafe promptly ran off at that. he’d heard enough, his imagination would run wild with this new information.

it was half an hour later when, like clockwork, rafe made sure to be near the front door for the pizza delivery. he paid and tipped the guy, while you were making your way down at the sound of the doorbell. he hurries back upstairs, nearly running into you on the stairs. your eyes trace his pretty features and then land on the box in his hands, shock and horror cascading your face. rafe can’t believe that you look so good even now, you’re wearing a crop top with seemingly no bra underneath and high waisted sweatpants. to him you look like a model.

“hey! that’s my pizza” rafe laughs and continues up the stairs, you turn on your heel and follow him up. you’re kinda hangry and your pizza being held hostage is not helping your mood.

“i just paid for it so i don’t think so.” you both reach the top of the stairs but rafe isn’t stopping, he’s going to his room instead. this won’t do, he’ll lock the door and slam it in your face, you quickly move to stand in front of him blocking the path to his doorway. rafe thinks it’s cute that you think that would stop him, he feels a bit stir crazy over how small you look gazing up at him

“i’ll pay you back!” your hands shoot up against the doorframe, blocking entry even further. he wants to tease you a bit more but the idea of sharing a pizza in his room is way more tempting.

“nah it’s fine just let me have some.” you release your blockade and let him move past you, still with his-your pizza in his hold, following him mindlessly. if you were less hungry you would’ve realized eating pizza with your longtime crush and best friend’s brother in his room sitting on his bed was in fact not a great idea. but that fleeting concern is out the window when he opens the box and you climb onto his bed like it’s second nature. rafe does his best to stay concentrated on the present, it’s difficult when your shirt rides up and a sliver of your stomach is displayed, it looks so soft and untouched and he really isn’t hungry for pizza, he never was.

“i was gonna offer anyways for the record.” you say it while picking up a slice and rafe mirrors your action, laughing at your tone.

“yeah sure you were princess,” you ignore the way his voice sounds, the way he says your name, the way his room smells like him and it’s making your head spin.

rafe watches you eat transfixed when you lick the tips of your fingers, he can’t believe that he’s struggling to control himself over pizza but your words are ringing in his head.

“rafe do you have any napkins?” you hold up your greasy fingers and he nods his head dazedly, getting up to grab some for you and taking the pizza box off his bed with him. you move to get off then, looking around his room, you knew he wouldn’t appreciate if you snooped through his things so you just look at the pictures on the wall, the books he has. rafe finds you standing near his desk when he comes back, wordlessly handing you the napkins.

“i always forget you have a motorcycle.” your head motions towards the helmet resting on the surface of his desk.

“i don’t use it as much now.” he leaned back against the footboard of his bed, arms crossed against his chest as he watched you look at his stuff. he couldn’t figure out why you were still in his room, were you that curious?

“can i ride it? i’ve always wanted to try.” yeah rafe might just pass out now. you don’t even know what you’re doing to him, head cocked to the side looking at him so innocently he can barely hold back much longer.

“sure but i gotta teach you the basics so you don’t crash.” rafe is proud of himself for even stringing a sentence together in response. you notice a slight flush to his cheeks and ears.

“okay that’s fair.” you turn towards him, mirroring his form and leaning back against his desk. there’s a few feet between you but rafe thinks it would be so easy to lift you onto the mahogany and kiss you until you can’t breathe. his shorts feel so restrictive and he’s grateful he’s wearing black. he can’t hold back any longer, he has to know.

"is it true?" the words come out rushed, unsure of if they should even be said in the first place. but rafe’s not a quitter and he doesn’t shy away from anything really, even if the past few hours feel like a dream he would have in middle school.

"is what true?" your head does that thing again like a puppy and he nearly keels over, you’re too adorable for your own good. his gaze flits away for a second, he has to commit. your trusting expression and your airy tone make it all the more hard.

"no guy's made you come before?" you blink in shock twice before covering your face with your hands. this must be the most embarrassing moment of your life.

"ugh you heard that?"

"yeah you guys aren't exactly quiet" you might have to kill sarah cameron in her sleep, if she even comes back that is. you don’t know why you answer him, you could have just ran away but the magnetic pull of rafe cameron coaxes you to answer.

"yeah it's true" you sound defeated and rafe has to hold back a snicker, he watches you peer through your fingers at him, watching his expression.

"well i can rectify that..you know for the sake of mankind and all" there’s a smirk on his lips as he says the words that will haunt you forever. you’re sure he’s just messing with you and you huff a breath of disbelief. did he know about your little crush? you’d been hiding it so well for the past few years!

"don't tease me, rafe" you step away from his desk, moving to leave his room. even if it was just the two of you in the house you’d much rather sit in sarah’s room or watch the tv than be ridiculed.

"i'm not, it'd be a shame if a pretty girl like you gave up on men, especially for me." it’s almost as if someone dumped a bucket of cold water on your head when rafe cameron speaks. pretty girl the first time he’s called you anything that might suggest you’re not just his sister’s friend. the world spins on its axis and you try to grasp onto his words, try to understand that he might be genuine but you can’t. there’s still that voice of doubt telling you he’s just messing with you. rafe watches your expression go from shock to disappointment, you don’t believe him. he supposes it’s not that believable when he’s been purposefully avoiding you for a while. you must think he’s just messing with you, but he’s dead serious. he’ll just have to prove it.

“whatever rafe i don’t have time for your games.” you mumble it and leave his room, slamming the door a bit harder than you intended. the next few hours are torture. rafe cameron planted an insidious weed in your mind and it’s growing exponentially.

of course it’s not the first time you’ve imagined it, you’d often thought about what his long thick fingers would feel like. or how his biceps would feel under your hands if you held onto them for support. you’d fantasized about every part of him, even the tip of his nose. so the idea that it might just be within your reach had you spiraling. you took a cold shower, not that it helped, your underwear was still soaked after. no guy you’d been with had made you so wet, let alone before even touching you. it was as if the universe was testing you. a sick thrum in your body had found its way into your bones, vibrating with need and you paced in your best friend’s room thinking over all the consequences.

when you’d reached the conclusion that even if he was sincere it was still a bad idea, your phone pinged. a text from sarah that read: “i’m gonna be staying the night here, if you’re already asleep i’ll see you in the morning 🤍” with all your internal turmoil you hadn’t realized it was past the two hours she’d said. she would be out all night. you and rafe were home alone, all night. you swallowed down the lump in your throat, your heart pounding your chest. your feet were moving faster than your head, the pitter patter of your footsteps almost as fast as your heartbeat, and before you knew it you were in front of his door. you hesitated for a second breathing in deep once before knocking, the light was still on so you knew he was awake.

“yeah?” rafe did his best to hide the satisfaction he felt seeing you twitchy and shy in front of his door. you swallowed down again, looking up at him with as much confidence as you could. there was a few seconds of silence, he gave you the time you needed, looking down at you with bright inviting eyes.

“is your offer still on the table?” his face split into a grin, moving aside to let you in like you’d done before and with no hesitation you pushed past him. even the small graze of your shoulder against him set his skin ablaze. he was going to lose his mind.

“‘doesn’t really have an expiration date.” your mind was blanking at his every advance, you tried not to think about his words, you couldn’t afford to fall deeper for him.

“just don’t like tell anyone about this?” you murmured, watching him close the door behind you two and getting a bit nervous. if sarah found out you’d be in for hell. losing your virginity to your best friend’s brother wasn’t exactly a great conversation to have.

“i’m not topper don’t worry.” you believed him, rafe despite his other faults, was always respectful.

“can i kiss you?” you nodded fervently, rafe held back a laugh at your enthusiasm. he walked up to you slowly as if giving you the chance to run and slid his hands from his hips to the curve of your waist. you stood on your tiptoes, your arms going around his neck and rafe couldn’t believe this was real. maybe if he pretended it was a dream he wouldn’t be so nervous. he’d have to do just that. one of his hands cupped your face, thumb stroking along your cheekbone and your eyelashes fluttered closed at the touch. he pressed a tentative kiss to your lips.

his lips felt soft and you breathed out in relief after, as if some sort of spell was lifted. rafe kissed you again, this time letting himself breathe you in. you felt so small and delicate in his hold, he wanted to take his time with you. you had other ideas. kissing rafe cameron felt even better than you’d imagined, when he pulled back you surged forward this time, biting his lower lip making him groan into your mouth. another chill of desire wracked your body at the sound and you tested the waters by licking the seem of his lips. rafe pulled you even closer and bent down to kiss you deeper. his mouth opened and his tongue met yours. you tasted so good to him he couldn’t stop himself from sucking on your tongue slightly, making you whine in his hold. the sound flipped a switch in his mind, he wanted more of the sound, he needed to hear you say his name in that airy desperate sound again. a string of saliva connected your lips and snapped off in the middle, your breathing was heavy and his was too. you caught your breath all the while looking up at him, he held your gaze. the furrow of your brows grew deeper the longer you looked.

“we don’t have to do anything else.” him asking for consent again drew in another crushing wave of arousal, you were a lost cause. okay maybe your standards were in hell. even his cologne was better than any other guy, something woodsy and heavy, mature, not like the shitty ones you’d had to smell before.

“no-no i want to,” he’d have to ask you later why you looked so mad after kissing him, right now he had too much else to do. you could only watch as he lifted you by the grip on your waist, your legs going around his hips in fear of falling. he’d done it so casually you couldn’t process it in time. rafe set you down gently on his mattress, his weight pressed into you and your legs tightened around him. he kissed you again, already missing the taste of your lips, and leaned back. you realized what he was about to do as he sat back on his knees.

“no i-can you just come up here?” you felt far too shy for him to eat you out and although rafe respected your wishes he was a bit disappointed. he’d just have to make sure there was a next time. there were other ways to taste you anyways. he followed your lead, leaning back over you and kissing you again, tongue and teeth clashing together in need. one of his hands moved from your waist up and under the hem of your shirt, traveling up slowly until he reached the fat of your breast. the feeling of his fingers on your nipple jolted your body. usually you didn’t get anything out of a guy touching your boobs but him you were arching into his touch, huffing into his mouth. rafe loved how sensitive you were, reacting to every touch of his. he massaged the tit in his hand, reveling in how you squirmed underneath him. if you kept moving you’d feel how painfully hard he was in his shorts.

after giving up on kissing you he peeled off your crop top, trailing kisses down your neck. he bit at the skin and sucked, surely littering your neck with hickies. you smelled so sweet to him and he couldn’t get enough, biting hard in the juncture between your neck and shoulder. you squeaked at the feeling, shocked at how pleasure blurred the lines of the pain you should be feeling. being marked by rafe was transcendental.

“look at you, so fucking pretty.” you met his gaze, his eyes raking down your chest and back to your face. the compliment made your head even cloudier, you’d let him do anything he wanted already, and it didn’t even scare you. his mouth trailed lower, biting at the tops of your breasts before latching onto your nipple and sucking, biting and laving over the sensitive nub with his tongue. you writhed under him, desperate for some friction between your legs. you huffed out a breath in frustration. he took his time bruising your chest with his marks. everyone should know who you belonged to. he leaned back to admire his work, his eyes finally meeting yours and seeing your waterline filled with unshed tears. god he was being so cruel, you just wanted to come and here he was doing as he pleased.

“rafe can i have your fingers please?” he was about to take pity on you anyway but the desperate sound of you begging was too delicious to give up. he looped his fingers through yours, hands intertwined against the silk sheets next to your shoulder.

“fuuckkk when you ask like that how can i say no?” his eyes nearly rolled back in his head from your voice, he might just come from it alone. “how d’ya want them?” he knew, of course he knew, he just wanted to hear you say it. your lips were swollen from his kisses and you still managed to look so innocent under him, he wanted to mark every inch of your body so no one could touch you again.

“you know!” you huffed out, a pout on your lips that he kissed away, you still looked at him with frustration. your underwear was practically sticking to you now, you felt so warm and uncomfortable between your legs, desperate for friction. you’d never felt like this before, completely wrecked with need, unable to think about anything besides addressing your desire.

“spell it out for me, i can’t think clearly right now.” he kissed under your ear coaxing you into submission, a purr curled through you at the feeling. his lips were featherlight against you, soft and adoring and you couldn’t remember why you were holding back.

“‘wan you to fuck me with them.” it was a small mumble, slipping past your lips but rafe caught it nevertheless. his free hand hooked into your pants and pulled them down, you kicked them off and let him settle back between your legs. at least being out of your pants gave your legs some reprieve but the cool air only illuminated how drenched your underwear was. rafe’s large hand skimmed past your breasts to your stomach and rested against your waistband. he looked to you for admission and you nodded your head. instead of dipping underneath the band he trailed downwards, over the flimsy material. the ghost of his touch near your clit had you jerking under him, your hands flying to his shoulders. two large fingers pressed against the fabric, right above your opening, his fingers felt moist and he clicked his tongue at the feeling.

“baby you soaked through your panties, whose got you so worked up?” you whined, a pretty throaty sound that you’d been holding in and he vowed to pull more from you. his fingers were skimming along your opening, teasing the fabric and not quite touching you. your legs wanted to close on his hand but your hips moved closer, trying to make him touch you.

“you!” you screamed out, eyes squeezed shut as he removed his hand completely. you’d start leaking through them if he didn’t do something soon.

“that’s right me, not those fucking losers, just me.” his free hand, closed around your chin making you open your eyes and meet his. he looked crazed, pupils blown and overshadowing the blue with hooded eyes and a satisfied grin curling his lips. when you met his gaze he finally dipped his fingers beneath the band and pressed his thumb against your clit. he found it with such ease your eyes rolled back into your skull, gasping at the feeling of finally being touched. “i got you baby,” your legs spread wider for him, pulling him into you as his fingers slid through your drooling folds all the while his thumb ground against you. his fingers were so much larger than yours you could feel him everywhere. he prodded your hole with his index finger, grunting at how tight you were. streams of arousal kept pouring out of you, you needed him to do something. you squirmed under him again and rafe acquiesced, shoving his finger in. you were so tight and warm around him, slippery and soft walls hugged him as he stretched you out with one finger alone. “f-fucking tight,” he was gonna start soiling his shorts from the way you felt around his finger alone. he fucked you slow and deep, feeling along your insides for your sensitivity. he knew as soon as he found it because you screamed his name, hands clutching his arms tightly.

“feels weird,” he let you get used to the feeling, his thumb grinding against your clit. you were already feeling close and he’d barely started.

“poor pussy probably never felt this good huh?” you whimpered at his words, he was being so filthy and usually it turned you off. nothing about rafe could do that at this point. you shook your head, affirming his suspicions and his middle finger circled your opening. he was gentler this time, moving his fingers in inch by inch until you stopped clamping down. the pressure of him stretching you wasn’t unbearable but you didn’t know how you’d ever take more than his fingers at this rate. he accurately hammered against that spot, out for blood, while his thumb circled your clit. you were dripping onto his hand, coating him with your juices and the squelch of his fingers fucking into you filled the room. the sounds were so obscene you tried blocking them out with your pathetic little whines but rafe was determined to hear your soppy cunt crying for him. it wasn’t long before you felt the encroaching of your release and he knew it he could feel it in the way you clenched around him and whined when his fingers pulled out completely. one more carress of the sensitive gummy spot inside you had you seeing white. your vision blurred as you shook in your release, holding his wrist so he’d stop his motions, shivers wracked your body as you came the hardest you ever had. your walls fluttered around him, more of your release dripping down your cunt and soaking the sheets below. he was sick enough to leave them like that for the night, you smelled so sweet and he bet you tasted even better.

his fingers dipped out of your underwear and your eyes opened to watch him, probably a mistake on your part because just the vision of rafe cameron licking his fingers clean and groaning at the taste made you ready to go again. his eyes rolled back in his head at the taste, his eyes ground shut at the sugary flavor coating his tongue and teeth. he really hoped you’d let him have more later because now that he’d had a taste he wanted the full meal. you shivered at the way he reacted, your whole body on high alert from your orgasm, but even as sensitive as you were you couldn’t help but be greedy.

“rafe, can we go further?” his heart might just give out, you look nervous even now after he’s already addicted. he moves back slightly, pulling his shirt over his head and your eyes are drawn to his chest.

“thought you’d never ask.” you’re not even trying to hide how you ogle him, seeing him at the beach is one thing but in front of you, when you can touch him is another. rafe watches you reach a hand out, slightly out of range and moves closer to you, letting you touch him. your smalls hands traverse the expanse of his shoulders, his pecs, and trace the outline of his abs. when they reach the tuft of hair above his waistband, rafe has to stop you. the tiny fleeting touches make him twitch in his pants. he moves your hand to rest against his shoulder, pulling your underwear all the way off and looking down at how he completely drowns your body out.

“fuckkk can’t believe im the lucky one who gets to break this little pussy in,” he kisses along your neck, hands squeezing your waist and marveling at how diminutive you feel. he can’t wait to be inside you, he wonders if you’ll even be able to take him.

“s-so dirty” his words are heating up your entire body and you’d feel embarrassed if you weren’t arching into him. rafe moves to pull down his shorts, waiting a beat before he does.

“you sure you want this?” while taking your virginity was something he could only dream about before he needed to be sure.

“yes i want it to be you, i trust you.” you say it as normally as you can.

“we can stop whenever you want, like i said ‘offer’s not gonna expire.” you hope you can take it up even after this, maybe not even once or twice. if he could make you feel like this why would you need anyone else? then he pulls his shorts off and you start to regret your decision.

“oh-is th-that gonna fit?” his cock sprung out and slapped against his stomach, long and thick and way too big for you. you could barely take his fingers this would never fit. it looked so angry white precum dribbling down stark against the flushed pink curling along the veins and curving with him to the right. you wouldn’t survive this.

“you’ll do your best right?” you nod enthusiastically, you wanted to take as much as you could. “good girl.” oh, you’d have to explore that later. you nearly moaned at him calling you that. rafe caught it though, he knew your reactions well by now. he lined it up over your stomach, seeing how far it would go and your eyes nearly bulged out of your head. your belly button was completely covered, not that it mattered he was halfway up your torso. rafe’s grip on your waist tightened, he’d ruin you for anyone else, stretch you out and mold you just for him. no one would feel as good as him and he nearly drooled at the sight.

despite how feral he felt, he made sure you were still wet enough for him to slip in, you were. his tip pressed against you, he let you drool onto him, juices swirling with his and making a sick plap plap plap sound as he tapped against you. he’s far wider than his fingers and you tried to relax. you motioned for him to come closer, his lips out of reach and you kissed him sweetly. when he could feel you relax he pushed in, instantly being shoved out. so tight he couldn’t even get the tip in. “fuuckkkk gonna have to marry you.” you don’t even process his words and he doesn’t really know he’s saying them out loud either. he tries again, pulling you slightly onto his length and you gasp at the stretch. you’re gripping him like a vice and it’s nearly uncomfortable but being inside you breaks something inside of him and he’s drooling into your mouth. you don’t even care you want more. “doin well angel-hah-taking me so well.”

the pain is an afterthought now, you want him to stretch you and fill you until you can’t breathe. you don’t know if you’ve wanted anything more in your life. so you do the unthinkable, you try moving down his length. rafe can’t be held responsible for his actions after that.

he gives into your silent plea, skewering you on his cock and pushing past your gooey rings of resistance until he’s halfway in. you held your breath the entire time as he curved into you, tip smearing precum along your walls as he molded you to him, his veins catching on your entrance and making you jolt at the feeling. you push at his chest, the pain making you scream his name as he lets you adjust. there’s tears trailing down your cheek that he licks away. he kisses you until the ache between your legs becomes distant, it’s salty and sloppy but it distracts you enough. rafe makes the mistake of looking down, sees the way you’re gaping for him and how it looks like he’s splitting you in half and he bottoms out. the snap of his hips against yours makes you moan, he’s filled you up now and you can feel him in your throat. you swear you feel him get bigger when you whine his name pathetically, his dick twitching inside you.

it’s too much and you try running from it, shoving up the length of the bed but rafe just pulls you back down. “t-too big hng can’t-“

“come on i thought you were-fuck-a big girl,” he groans into your ear, you shove against him once more and he slips out a few inches, just enough for you to relax. you can still feel him nestled against your cervix, he’s leaking into you and your thighs are coated in both of your arousal. you tap his shoulder for him to move again, pulling out until his tip is the only thing inside and then spearing all the way back in. the feeling makes you cross-eyed, his throbbing tip bumps along your sensitive spot until it nestles against you, as far high up as it can and you think you might be coming on every thrust because you’re so obscenely wet more slick just pours out of you every time. rafe knows it’s because there’s no space for anything but his cock and he can’t help but grin, watching your pussy engulf his length despite how small you are under him. every thrust sends your whole body upwards but his grip on you keeps you close, he’s almost fucking you back onto him.

“feels good hah,” you finally murmur into his neck, wrapping your legs around his hips so he can drill into you better. his thrusts are deep and slow, letting you get used to the feeling but you don’t think you like it like this. if he’s going to ruin you he might as well do it properly. “h-harder.” rafe moans your name at your request, his voice sounds so wrecked you clench down at the sound alone.

“turned this pussy into a slut, ‘couldn’t even take-hah-two fingers now look at you.” really he’s proud of you, proud that he made you like this. although he wants to tease you he can’t hold back much longer either and it’s your first time so he’s gonna be nice to you. rafe pulls out and slams back into you setting a faster rougher pace, your skin is slapping against each other and you think he might bruise your hips. your head is shoved up the length of his bed until it threatens to bump against the headboard, he puts his hand between you and the wood, his other hand holding onto the frame for support. your legs are being bent and pressed to the sides and the new angle makes him hit that spot with blaring accuracy. a sick ring of white forms at the base of his dick and his balls are slippery from your arousal. you still have a vice grip around him, something he won’t get used to but is definitely get addicted to. the room smells filthy and the sounds of you chanting his name combined with the squelch of your cunt is pornographic.

“gonna be a good girl and come around my cock?” your walls flutter at his words, like his permission has you ready to come. you come undone with one more thrust, your cunt is milking him as if coaxing him to come. “fuck fuck fuckkkk.” he pulls out just in time to come onto your stomach, shooting thick gooey ropes onto your soft skin. the white contrasts the blue and purple that is starting to bloom around your neck and tits.

you blearily watch it happen, disappointed he didn’t come inside, but warm and fuzzy from your release. there’s one thought nagging you though as you rest comfortably on his sticky soaked sheets. “it wasn’t a one time offer right?”

“no fucking way, i’m never letting you go.” rafe looks at you like you’re crazy, he’s ready to propose. there’s no way in hell he’s making this a one night stand. after all he’s broken you in, now it’s the fun part.

taglist: @ggraycelynn

[chastiefoul]

he finds you crying ft. love and deepspace men

ft. zayne, xavier, rafayel, and sylus a/n: I always feel like mc wasn’t given enough time to grief when chapter 4 happened (or maybe they just didn’t show it or i remember it wrong) but to lose the people you’ve considered family like that in front of your eyes would severely mess on anyone’s mental well-being. mc stronger than me fr i would've had a breakdown every night. so i tried to write the comfort that was long overdue. <3

Zayne

He found you hunched over at the couch, knees tucked to your chest. your shoulder shook as he heard the sniffles and although he’s physically perfectly fine, he swore it felt like his heart was breaking in two.

He would gently put his key on the table, making his presence known in the subtlest way possible so you didn’t get startled.

You quickly tried to wipe your eyes and sat normally but suddenly in no time you were carried as he made you sit on his lap, bringing your head close to his neck as he held you tight.

Zayne wasn’t one who’s great at offering consoling words, as he also a firm believer of actions speak louder than words. As he rubbed your back gently he only said, “Let it all out, I’m here.”

So you did just that. You’ve said this once to him as a joke, but truly, anywhere by his side was the time you felt the most safe.

The doctor continued to comfort you in silence, hoping with every beat of his heart that his arms and hands that’s so used in saving people’s lives, could offer at least some kind of solace for your heart that was in disarray.

Xavier

He’d never hated the sight of a bed so much, until he found you crying atop of it.

Xavier would rushes over to you (arguably faster when he encountered strayed wanderers), determined to do anything he could to help you feel better.

As he put a hand over your cheek, wiping the tears that just kept on coming he whispered, “I’m here, what do you need?”

When you couldn’t even manage a reply Xavier would just stay by your side, his and was diligent in rubbing the side of your face; he never felt so useless, knowing the little gesture gave almost to none help.

For someone who finds sleep easy inbetween every hours, that was the most restless he’s ever been. He stayed with you until you calmed down, offering gentle whispers as you felt your awake state slipping away.

The moment you’re asleep Xavier was keen on wiping your face softly off of the remaining tears, and he tucked you in properly. He brought you to his embrace.

Yet unlike any other nights, he couldn’t find any part of him that was able to join you into the dream state.

Rafayel

Rafayel knew he came at a bad time. Seeing the way you spoke so stiffly and the way you zoned out of the conversation every few minutes.

However, he also knew he couldn’t leave you alone right then.

The silence once again was loud, but he didn’t think you realize that, as he followed your stare to the table, to what’s on the top of the table to be exact. A necklace with an apple charm on it.

He approached your side, cupping your face with both of his hands. “Miss bodyguard, you don’t have to be strong all the time, you know? Especially now, since you’re off duty.”

You chuckled quietly, but what followed after was not your usual easy smile but instead it was tears streaming down your face. And it felt like Rafayel could offer anything he had just to make them stop. And if that’s not enough, he swore to give you twice or thrice of what he had, it didn’t matter if he was to be in debt.

He held you tight, the sight of you crying was enough to make tears made their way to his eyes as well. And it pained him, knowing the best he could do in that moment was only to hold you tighter, as he wished that he could mend whatever broken part you had with one of his.

Sylus

He didn’t even flinch when you climbed on his lap, your usual talkativeness was nowhere to be found.

You rested your head on his shoulder and within seconds he knew that your emotions were in chaos, and if you thought you could find comfort in him, then he was more than happy to be there for you.

“Let me stay like here for a while,” you said weakly, voice all tense and anxious.

He brought a palm to your back, “By all means, darling. You didn’t think I was going to turn you away, did you?”

You stayed quiet, trying your best to get your emotions in order but it just seemed impossible. Sylus then sigh at your another attempt to pretend once again that you’re okay. “Cry if you need. Tears were never a sign of weakness, it just proves that you’re human.”

His rigid sentence somehow brought a strange sense of comfort for you, making your tears escape freely.

Sylus’ fingers felt fleeting on your back, like a touch that could slip away anytime. But he made sure none of that will happen as he stroke your hair gently over and over.

Was he worried of you? Absolutely. Yet he believed with all of his entire being that you that has fallen apart that day, would have no time standing back up again on the next day.

If there’s anything he learnt about you during your time with him, is that you’re a stranger to giving up.

[purinfelix]

you're no good for me, but baby i want you - n. riki ✶⋆.˚

summary: after growing tired of his constant teasing you made up your mind not to give Niki anymore of your attention, but you should've known that he wouldn't let you go that easily - and is willing to go to desperate measures to get you just to look at him ──── delinquent Niki x class president reader || sfw but a little suggestive, kissing/making out, so much tension like so much, enemies to lovers sorta? || w/c: 2.7k

a/n: okay i'm trying to get better at writing longer fics/ones that actually have closure bc looking back i realise i kinda always leave u guys on cliffhangers LOLL - also i rlly tried to avoid making this too cliche given the trope i hope it worked !!! actually really like this one so i hope it doesn't flop rip

‘Bad boy’ felt too cliche - at least for your liking. You preferred to refer to Niki as what he was, a delinquent, a troublemaker, someone who skipped most of his classes and spent the rest dosing off or arguing with the teacher. But no matter what you called him you were sure of one thing, he pissed you off.

To be honest, you had absolutely no interest in the sorts of things a student like him got up to in his own time, but it was the fact that he insisted on dragging you into his business that irritated you the most. You weren’t sure why exactly he kept targeting you, maybe it was because he just wanted to mess with the class president or because you seemed like an easy target to him - whatever reason he had didn’t make it any less tiring though.

Skipping classes was one thing, but his constant breaches of uniform code meant that you were running out of warning slips - and patience. It didn’t help that whenever you did, he would only look you up and down with an amused smirk, brows raised as if daring you to continue telling him off - which only worked to make you stumble over your words.

That’s why you had made the decision to stop giving him anymore of your attention, and the most recent time you had seen him sporting his signature look - no blazer, dress shirt half unbuttoned and several silver earrings, you chose to ignore him. You simply walked past him in the hallway without so much as a passing glance, hoping it would tell him to stop wasting your time and causing trouble.

Little did you know, he would misinterpret your signs to mean the exact opposite.

The next morning when you were waiting at your desk you heard a wave of hushed murmurs coming from down the hall, and couldn’t help but feel partly responsible. A loud thud sent the classroom door flying open and a couple of his friends filed in with amused grins - and it was only when Niki followed them in did you see why. Not only had he gone and messily bleached parts of his jet black hair, but he now donned a piercing straight through his right eyebrow which, judging from the pink tinge surrounding it, was both brand new and self-made.

You were unable to stop your neck from craning as your eyes followed his figure, watching as he sauntered over to his desk in the back corner of the classroom, threw his books onto it and sat down. The expression on his face showed that he couldn’t care less about being there, but his eyes trained on you as if waiting for you to make a move.

You hated that he knew you so well, because before you knew it you were out of your seat and at the head of his desk, arms folded with a stern expression on your face. You can’t remember exactly what you said but it must’ve been harsh, and loud enough to summon the attention of almost the entire class, and your teacher who stormed into the classroom shortly after to tell the two of you off. It must’ve also been harsh enough to earn the two of you an after-school detention, which was your very first - though it clearly wasn’t Niki’s.

So that’s how the two of you had ended up alone, in an empty, hot classroom - waiting as the minutes of your detention ticked by agonisingly slowly. Irritated was an understatement. It was taking every ounce of self-control you had not to turn around and punch Niki right there and then. You kept your fuming to yourself, at least for now though, while you worked silently on an assignment, determined to at least make good use of being stuck here for the next hour or so - even if it meant spending it in a tense silence.

Niki didn’t seem to share the same sentiment, having sat himself in the chair right beside yours and kicked his feet up on the desk, twirling a pen in one hand as he hummed softly to himself. You were trying your best to ignore him, and he was trying his best to make that very difficult.

“What are you working on?” he asked curiously as he leaned in over your shoulder.

“Just an assignment,” you shot back curtly.

“Ah of course, what a goody-two shoes,” he scoffed as he sat back.

“Rather a goody-two shoes than a good-for-nothing delinquent,” you mumbled under your breath, though not quiet enough to escape his ears.

“A delinquent? Is that really what you think of me?” he asked in faux-offence, “I’m hurt.” You turned slightly, just enough to see the dramatic pout he had formed across his lips, his brows curving upwards and his piercing going with it.

“Whatever,” you huff, feeling both irritation and exhaustion rise in you, “it’s your fault we’re here in the first place anyways.”

“Oh yeah, my fault that you started a petty argument.”

“Your fault for dyeing your hair that stupid colour and getting that piece of metal jammed in your face!” You cry out, fully facing him now as you felt your face burning hot, “I mean seriously, all I did was ignore you once, and you go ahead and did something ridiculous like that?” Gesturing to his piercing and new hair, you can’t help but feel even more infuriated at the sight of his smirk which only grew as he watched you from half-lidded eyes.

“What makes you think I did it for you?” He asks teasingly, and you suddenly feel your bravado begin to crumble - he’s right, who are you to assume that?

“Well, I-” you stutter, but he interrupts you.

“Well maybe I did,” he laughs softly, “that depends on whether you like it or not.”

“That is so besides the point, Niki,” you whine, “it’s against uniform policy.”

“Oh c’mon, you think it’s a little cool,” he taunts, and you turn back around in your seat, chewing your bottom lip as you’re determined not to give him a response which you’re sure will only fuel his ego.

You sit in silence for a bit, and you can tell he’s watching you carefully in the way he leans in, keen eyes trained on your expression - almost as if he’s trying to figure out what you’re thinking. But that’s a challenge even you’re struggling with right now.

He’s the one to break the silence again. “I am sorry about getting you a detention though, that wasn’t what I meant to do.” You blink in disbelief because for the very first time, he sounds almost as if he really means what he’s saying.

“Is that an apology?” you say, gasping to show your surprise, though this quickly dissolved into a soft laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t let it get to your head,” he sighs, “I just couldn’t sit here and watch you sulk for the next hour.”

You can’t help but smile to yourself, feeling the tension between the two of you melt away at his apology, just enough for you to want to keep talking to him - even if it means neglecting your homework, for now. Your eyes move over his face, his sharp jaw, his eyebrow piercing glinting under the warm classroom light.

“Did it hurt?”

It’s a stupid question, you know, but it’s the only thing you can think to ask as you fiddle nervously in your seat. If you’re being completely honest, you do think it’s cool, you’ve always thought his piercing were cool - and right now you want nothing more than to reach out and feel them for yourself. But your common sense stops you.

“Well, duh,” he scoffs, sitting back in his seat as his eyes fix on yours, “figured a smart-ass like you would’ve been able to guess that.”

“Just asking,” you grumble defensively, though your curiosity urges you to keep talking. “If it hurt, why’d you do it?”

“Well, you like it, don’t you?” He asks, “that’s all the reason I need.”

You’re tempted to tell him off again, but something about his tone catches you off guard - it’s oddly earnest, and he says it with such a simplicity that makes you really believe that maybe he’s telling the truth and you’re unable to find the resolve to spoil this moment

“Can I feel it?”

He’s almost as shocked by your request as you are, and even as it leaves your mouth you’re unsure entirely why you’re asking it. His eyes widen in a way that you can’t help but find a little cute, even as you’re struggling to process your own thoughts.

“Sure,” he replies, a little too quickly, almost as if he had been waiting for you to ask him that, but can’t believe you actually did. You turn in your chair to face him, your arms coming up awkwardly to bridge the distance between you both but it’s clear you’re still too far.

You’re about to lean forward more in your seat to reach him, until you notice his hand coming down to grip the leg of your chair and it isn’t until you feel yourself moving and hear the faint screech of the legs against the floor that you realise that he’s pulling it - pulling you closer to him.

Once you’re close enough he stops, though his hand doesn’t leave the back of your chair, instead resting there as if trapping you in with him as he leans down as that his face is level with yours. You try not to overthink the way your knees are touching, or how this is your first time seeing him this close and how he’s even better looking up close. Carefully, you bring your hand and pray that he doesn’t notice the way it trembles, as your thumb grazes his thick brow gently. Even though you wish he didn’t, he keeps his eyes open and you can feel the weight of his gaze on you as your fingers close around the small metal ball.

“It’s cold,” you mumble, not sure what else to say to fill the air between you two.

“It’s metal,” he says matter-of-factly, letting out a small laugh at your fascination with it.

“You didn’t need to to do this just to get my attention, you know,” your eyes focus on the piercing as you speak, unable to look him in the eyes when admitting something that feels like a confession.

“I had to get you to look at me somehow.” You’re again amazed at how he can say such earnest things with such a serious face, and even as you look away you know his eyes are on you.

“Most people would’ve just said hi or something, not put a brand new hole in their face,” you sigh, fingers moving to tuck a stray strand of bleached hair behind his ear.

“Well most people wouldn’t be here now with you touching their face, so by my standards my plan worked better.”

“Did that plan have to include getting me my first-ever detention?” You ask in annoyance, though you can’t help but laugh softly at his simplicity.

“Well, not at first,” he admits, “but at least we’re alone, hm?”

“Because you need me alone to talk to me?”

“No, because I need you alone to do this.”

You’re pretty sure if you weren’t already leaning towards him you would’ve fallen backwards from the forceful way his lips crash into yours - and if not from that then the sheer shock of just that. Luckily for you though, he already has an arm snaked around your waist, keeping a hold of you and pulling you closer.

It shocks you though that, despite the initial force, Niki’s kiss is gentle, almost as if he’s easing you into something he knows you’re struggling to accept. He’s experienced, that’s for sure, but you can tell in his movements that he’s holding back from pushing you any further.

You don’t even realise it but your hands are cupping his face, caressing his strong jawline and pulling him closer to you. You open your mouth to talk but the only noise that comes out is a breathy gasp and if you weren’t so caught up in the feeling of his hands in your hair you might’ve stopped to feel embarrassed about how desperate you sound for him right now.

“Niki,” you mumble against his lips, unsure of what to do as you feel your mind struggle to comprehend what’s happening.

“Want me to stop?” he says in between heavy breaths, and even though it sounds like a taunt you know him well enough to know he’s being serious.

You shake your head in response, but decide to have a little fun of your own while you can. “When have you ever cared what I want?”

“Oh, you have no clue,” he hums in a low whisper as he leans back in.

“And when have you ever listened to what I’ve told you to do?”

“You’re right about that,” he smirks, pressing his lips to yours again, this time with the reckless abandon you’ve come to expect from him - almost as if he was waiting for your permission to let go. You thought you would’ve felt a little predictable, pathetic even, for having fallen so easily into his trap and giving him much more than just your attention at this point. But from the way his hands roam your body, grasping for more of you as he whines against your lips you smile to yourself at the realisation that really, he’s the one who’s fallen into your trap.

This sense of control is what finally calms your mind, even if it still struggles with just how ‘wrong’ all of this sounds against how right his lips on yours feel. The sound of footsteps echoing down the hallway however forces you to tear yourself away from him, though his hands don’t leave your body as you strain to figure out who it might be.

“Shit, it’s the teacher,” you say under your breath, pulling away from him to smooth down your skirt. Niki clearly doesn’t care, but still lets out a soft sigh as he hangs his head, leaning back in his chair.

“Tomorrow,” you continue suddenly, “I want the eyebrow piercing and the bleached hair gone.” You know you’re being harsh, but you also know that, given what just happened, you can’t afford to be nice.

“Wh-” he says suddenly, looking at you in disbelief, “I thought you liked them though.”

“Doesn’t matter,” you say firmly, “they’re still breaking like ten different uniform rules.”

“Just when I thought I’d finally broken your guard down,” he groans.

“Well, they’ve served their purpose already, haven’t they?” you taunt lightly, bringing a hand up to swipe at your bottom lip which you can feel is a little plump from him biting it. His eyes watch attentively as you do, and he lets out a soft laugh followed by a nod in agreement.

“You’re right,” he exhales, “but now I’m thinking if I keep them in I might keep getting lucky.”

“Niki,” you sigh.

“I mean, maybe if I had a reward for following rules I might feel more motivated,” he hums, looking away as he feigns innocence.

You pause, thinking to yourself for just long enough. “I’ll be studying in the library after school, maybe if you do as I say I’ll let you join me.”

“Studying? That’s what we’re calling it now?”

“Take it or leave it.”

“I’ll be there,” he laughs, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied smile - one that you can’t help but share even as the same teacher who gave you both this detention comes in to tell you you’re free to go.

You watch as he swings his bag over one shoulder coolly, tossing you his signature smirk - only this time, it doesn’t just annoy you, it lingers, sticking to your thoughts in a way you don’t want to admit. Because you know you should be mad, you should roll your eyes and remind yourself that he’s still the same infuriating troublemaker. But as he walks away the only thing you find yourself wondering is if he’ll actually show up tomorrow, and worse, if a part of you wants him to.

[prkhaven]

warnings: smut minors do not interact, unprotected sex, profanity, brother’s best friend!jay, spit, creampie, breeding kink, petnames (baby, bad girl, good girl, nasty girl) — wc: 1.2k

JAY promises his best friend time and time again that he isn’t seeing anyone because how can he even begin to admit that he’s fucking said best friend’s sister behind his back.

well simple, he doesn’t.

he admits nothing and denies any attempt of prying into his life by his best friend. that’s what happened just 5 minutes ago at the gym during one of their sets.

because he’s supposed to be cooped up in the gym with sunghoon, the best friend, for another hour but instead left the moment he got a text from you.

the dragged y of his name as you sent a picture of the soft pout he loved and his overstretched collar shirt daring to peak out your breast was more than enough for him to leave.

forced to give some poor excuse to sunghoon, he knew his friend didn’t believe but he didn’t have time to worry because you were waiting for him.

and that’s how he finds himself in your bed, ramming into you like no tomorrow, his cock dragging out of your soapy self with ease, droll trickling down your chin as your back arched with soft whines.

losing count of how many times you’ve came from the moment he entered your room to now, everything blurred together.

his calloused hands grip your hips to hold you in place, his breath hot against your skin, “so fucking needy baby, what am i going to do with you?”

you blabbed and blabbed incoherently and jay softly cooed at the state, his hand stroked your cheek in a manner that made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

he continued to piston himself into you, the wet warmed confinement was pure heaven that he could never part from it. his mind reeled watching how your mouth fell open with moans and whines leaving it.

the way your tits bounced with each thrust, his marks littered all over your body made his chest swell. your harden sore nipples on display, he flicked them between his fingers and twisted the nubs making you wail.

“couldn’t wait for me to finish my workout huh, just needed me to fill your lonely pussy”

“you’re such a bad girl for interrupting me” knowing that it was far from that because he could’ve easily ignored your message and stay with your brother

but instead he came running straight to you the moment you called.

you clenched around him making him groan, “knew you loved it when i talk to you like this” your hands reach for his biceps, your nails digging into the bulging flesh for support, jay stifles a strained noise as his free hand comes up to your throat

“talk to me baby, y’know i love to the hear that pretty voice of yours” he slurs and you weakly moan while throwing your head to the side

“jay. jay. jay! please want more” you chant his name like it’s the only thing you’ve ever know and his heart hammers against his chest at your weak pleas

his hand grips your chin, his thumb traces over your bottom lip before sliding in and pressing down your tongue. a small gag leaving you as you looked up at him to see the hooded darkness casting over his eyes.

he grinned but his hips never faltered, they slowed down for a second, each thrust sending him further and deeper into you. able to feel his tip protruding into your cervix, the stretch opening you up just for him alone.

neither of you broke contact as he brought your head up. stopping his movements as you lol your head back and jay hovered over your face.

with the perfect calculation, he pulls his thumb back to pull down on your bottom row of teeth as a glob of spit trickled from his mouth and inched closer to you.

sticking out your tongue to receive it, you darkly hummed and lightly chuckled when jay released your mouth. “such a nasty girl, but you’re my nasty one” he whispered making your pussy grip tighter around his length

his side grin only grew more, gripping your jaw to crash his lips onto yours. you squeaked at the sudden roughness but melted right into it. the slightly chapped lips scratching against yours but you loved it. your hands racking up and gripping onto the collar of his tanktop.

you pulled at it but instead of getting mad at it, he helped pulled it further down for you to stretch it out. his cold chain hitting against your hand, your mouths slotting perfectly together.

loudly moaning into the kiss, he drank up all your sounds. yet, holding onto his tanktop tightly when he thrusted up into you.

“jay move” you slurred against his mouth but he pressed harder down on your lips

“be nice now baby, how am i gonna breed your pussy when you’re being so mean to me” he joked making you roll your eyes when he pulled away

a string of saliva connecting the two of you making his mind hazy. looking at you, your eyes sparkled at him making his chest tighten in itself, he sticks out his tongue and lathers it over your mouth before swallowing your mouth back into his.

jay’s thrust grew erratic when you started clenching harder around him. “need to have you leaking for me. make you wear panties- the black lacy ones, my favorite… to plug my cum inside of you”

“if anything leaks out i need to fuck it back into you and even give you more to make up from the loss” he groaned loudly, his mind reeling as his breath grew heavier “have to fill you up- need to make sure you know you’re mine”

the possessive words fluttered something in you but the thought melted away as your strained moans grew louder, your hand gripping tighter onto his bicep as your body arched off the mattress.

jay scoffed as you came over him but his thrust didn’t stop. he continued to push his cock back in to slide out and repeat the motion, his finger traced over your clit before rubbing down at the bundle of nerves.

“jay- sensitive” you gripped his wrist yet he only slammed his hips harder into you

“take it for me baby- be a good girl and take it. this is what you wanted isn’t it?” he gritted through his teeth to look past the tightness around his shaft

wrapping your arms around his neck to drag him down and flush his body ontop of yours, he jolted at the closeness but his rough hands held your waist, slowly down his pace.

his thumb creasing at your side as he continued to hilt his hips upwards until you felt the twitch inside of you and he let out a low huff into your ear.

your fingers dug into his built back as you felt sudden warmth fill you. “take it for me baby- my sweet girl” he murmured while painting the velvet walls white of him

digging your head into the shell of his neck as he held you closely, he planted a soft kiss onto the side of your head and rubbed his hand up and down as he felt you flutter around him.

“jay” he softly hummed at the weak call his name but before you could say anything more, you heard the slam of your front door and the call out of your name

you both pulled away from each other and stared with wide eyes at the realization that sunghoon finished his workout earlier than expected or the two of you just took way longer than anticipated.

hurriedly, you both pulled away from each, tripping over another to grab the discarded articles of clothing. “uh- just a minute!” you yelled for your brother as you shoved jay’s headphones towards him

putting on the forgotten clothes and straightening yourself out to look decent in the mirror, you looked over to jay struggling to put his pants on.

but before he could fully put them on, he stopped midway when the door busted open and sunghoon’s ramble came to a halt as he stood at the door with wide eyes and horrid expression.

“what the- are you fucking my sister?!”

——