#I could write an essay abt this I’m telling u

[saltavenegar]

Made this a while ago and forgot to share

Based on this

[r0ttenhearts]

can I request a charac using reader who has a crush on them for their own benefits. while reader is left to wonder why chrc acts like a stranger to reader in public. eventually confronting chrc and them brushing it off as not noticing, being too busy. until reader eavesdropped to a convo with chrc's friend abt chrc just using reader. and reader leaves and ignores chrc for a while and chrc slowly starts missing reader's presence, only to see reader with someone else and confronting reader about it. of course charac won't get the happy ending 😈

(preferably scara, or childe-- if u write for him.)

feel free to ignore, I think I haven't expressed my req properly 😭😭.

also can I be 🌧️ anon ? :>

thanks 🌧️ anon for the request ^^ i hope you enjoy!

not your pet, anymore

scaramouche x reader

warnings: angst, arguments, insults, suggestive mentions

“you love me, right?”

“of course i do, scara. you mean so much to me.” you whispered, fingers running through his hair as he leaned against you. his thick eyelashes fluttered shut, hand on his chest as he lay against you.

the biting cold of fall couldn’t compare to the warmth you two shared, huddled together like this. his cheeks still tinted pink from the cold air, hands cold to the touch, it was just the way you liked him to be. cold enough for him to want to sit close to you and warm up.

touches were not a regular occurrence for scaramouche, he was normally dismissive, claiming he hated the closeness of skin on skin contact. but that wasn’t said when he’d tug at the end of your sweater, asking if he could feel more of your warmth. soft pants escaping your lips, his cold hands wandering, bodies on the cold floor of his bedroom. that’s how you’d spend your days after school.

but this time, with your hair sticking to your sweaty forehead as you finished up some of scaramouche’s homework he had passed on to you, something felt different. he was glued to his phone, an unusual smile gracing his lips as his thumbs danced across the device. you frowned, putting down your pen as you watched his face pull up in expressions you had rarely seen.

“who’re you talking to scara?”

“none of your business, (y/n).” he snapped, the smile he had been wearing for a few minutes dropping as his head snapped up to look at you. he sighed dramatically, getting up from the floor as he placed his phone down next to your hand, his face inches away from you.

“so damn nosy (y/n), when you should be doing my essay. are you bored? should i give you more work? or maybe i should let you suck me off, put your mouth to use. i think i like you better when you’re stuffing me in than anything you’ve ever said, anyway.” he sneered, enjoying the silence from you. a slight movement from you caused annoyance to bubbled up inside of him, his face unable to hide that itching feeling.

“you know, if you weren’t like this i’d be nicer to you, hell, maybe i’d love you. fat chance of that happening, i hate you most of the time. the only time i like your mouth open is when you’re making those pretty sounds for me, anything else is just muck.

why’re you so quiet, huh? are you gonna run off to your friends again? tell them how horrible i am? you think someone like collei will bother with you after you tell her what you do in here with me? how you open yourself to me? after swearing to her you’re done with me? you’re fucking something, (y/n). honestly, i’m getting sick of you. can you get the fuck out now?”

scaramouche’s phone buzzes, screen lighting up with a new text message. the both of you glance to it at the same time before he snatches it up, typing away a response as you gather your things without a word. biting your tongue was easier said then done, but you knew the argument would be worse if you said anything to him at all.

with a gentle click of scaramouche’s door, hours had gone by since you made your way home. a warm shower to rid of the nagging feeling at the pit of your stomach, along with the stickiness scaramouche had left you. you weren’t enjoying this, not one bit.

you figured you’d talk to him tomorrow in class, apologize for your inconveniences to him, and have it return to how it usually was after a fight. if you could call it one.

what you didn’t expect was to see scaramouche sitting by the green haired girl, haypasia, his usual seat empty as they sat side by side. quietly setting your things down, you still thought to say good morning to him, as a sign of peace.

standing from your seat, you meekly stood in front of him, hands wringing in front of you nervously. “good morning scara, and haypasia, i was wondering if—“

scaramouche never looked at you the whole time you were standing in front of him, his eyes glued on haypasia as her eyes bore into yours. a bitter smirk on haypasia’s face as she waved you off, scaramouche rolling his eyes before continuing whatever conversation they were having before you interrupted him.

a pain started to form in your chest. that nauseating prick that you’d feel every time you knew scaramouche was fooling around with other girls. cold sweat was all you felt as class droned on, your eyes never leaving the back of scaramouche’s head as his hand would slip underneath haypasia’s desk, sliding her pieces of paper that she would giggle at or turn red to after reading.

why is he being like this? should you have said something yesterday? would the satisfaction of knowing he practically owned you satisfy him enough to not be like this? these thoughts ran through your head until it was time for lunch, that bell being something of a savior as you were freed from seeing him there with her.

childe’s loud laughs caught your attention as he stood with kazuha, an anxious look on the white haired boys face as his eyes locked with yours for a moment. “i mean, just look at her! everyone knows scara is just using her. i heard, he’s been sleeping with (y/n) so he’s good enough to do it with that other girl, whatever her name is. you know her, right kazuha? whatdya think? did you get a piece of her yet too? or is it just scara sinking his claws in her, and something else!”

kazuha’s nervous laugh as childe punched his arm spoke volumes as you stood up, clutching the strap of your bag. kazuha noticed the tears in your eyes as you ran out of the classroom, you had heard every word that came out of childe’s mouth. excusing himself, he ran after you, his soft taps of his feet on the floor in comparison to your loud, cluttered footsteps.

scaramouche heard about this from childe, his demeanor changing once childe gave him the details on how kazuha ran after you. he didn’t know why it bothered him, but it did. no one else should be acknowledging his pet, the one that was so compliant and listened to everything he asked of you.

that’s how he saw you, and that’s all you were to him. right? that egging feeling in his chest as his messages to you were now left on seen more often than not. your cat keychain you hung on your bag that “reminded you of him” being replaced by a charm of a maple leaf, the same one kazuha had on his bag.

it bothered him. and he didn’t try to hide it. every time you’d sit next to kazuha instead of him, he’d grumble under his breath. a part of him ached to see you bare on his bedroom floor again, your fingers running through his hair, your gentle kisses on his forehead when you’d put him to bed when he was in a foul mood. he actually missed you.

but why were you so distant now? surely kazuha wasn’t giving you something he wasn’t, right? he couldn’t. you’d always declared your loyalty to scaramouche, never once breaking it.

then why did you admit you were in love with kazuha? your hands together in front of scaramouche as he scoffs, taking you by the wrist the second those words left your mouth.

“come again? i think i misheard you (y/n). you said you were in love with me just last month. so how do you even think you have feelings for that poet?” his voice wavered, eyes scanning across your face for a sign, a hint of remorse or love that you once held for him.

you shake your head, taking your hand away from scaramouche’s grip but he tightens it anyway. his eyes bore into yours, begging, pleading for it not to be true. for you to laugh it off and say you were kidding.

“he’s.. kind. it’s unlike something i’ve had before, and.. it feels good. it feels good to be wanted, scara. something i never felt with you.”

“something i never felt with you”, those words rung in his head as he laughs loudly, fat tears spilling as he pulls you into his chest. your hands going to push him away as he holds you tightly, laughing through his tears.

“you promised me (y/n), you promised you’d stay. you said you’d stay with me forever, love me forever! please don’t be like them, please don’t let that be a lie.”

“let me go, scara. please.” you whispered, feeling him shake his head as his hands tighten around you.

“n-no, no.. i can’t lose you too. archons, i can’t. what did childe say (y/n)? i promise he didn’t mean it, whatever he said isn’t true! i swear.. let’s just, go back to how it used to be, yeah? you can come over like you used to and- and we just don’t have to have sex. we can do things you like! i swear.. so please..”

his tears had rolled down, coating your neck as he wept. you’d never seen him in such a desperate state. his eyes looking into yours for a hint of what used to be there for him, but there wasn’t. more tears rolled down his cheeks as he let you go. he had fucked up. again. and this time he lost you, the one thing he never thought he’d lose.

“i’m sorry, scara. i’ve moved on. i think you have too with haypasia, you’ll be okay.” you say before picking up your bag, leaving him standing there with a wreck of feelings in his chest.

“you’re just like the rest.” he spat under his breath, harshly wiping at his eyes as the tears continued to flow. a hateful sentence meant to comfort no one but himself. he knew you weren’t at fault for it, he knew one day you’d want something more of him, something he’d be reluctant to give you. the day you finally escaped the clutches of the toxic relationship he had given you, the same day he had deemed the end of his new beginning.

“i never got my forever with you, like you promised. i can’t apologize for hating you for it.”

taglist: @sakiimeo @astrolomona @dearsumire @saeism @shoheartluv @0kauy @lelemnh @kaoriee @samarill

[slutshamethesquirrels]

I feel deranged reading infatuation

it’s so good it makes me wanna make a YouTuber video essay explaining all the nuances in there which feel so true and authentic to the experience of being ACTUALLY fat. and liking a dude who ISNT.

that part where you wrote that “the girl in your daydreams had lost the weight” is soul crushing. the MC knowing that she only fits in better with boys because she feels like she CANT fit in with girls while she looks the way she does. I’m a 22 year old and I’ve probably had more male BEST friends than I’ve had female friends. yeah i also ended up crushing on most of them because they could be so kind as to look past the unfortunate flaw of the way that i look! (even tho it’s just seriously disordered brain talk there) like word for word bar for bar oh my god I’m looking in a mirror—please someone cover it up before I get upset!!!!!!

I feel like a smaller bodied person would read this and think “wow is this rlly what it’s like being fat” and well yes! I do think about my size, and how much space I’m taking up even in normal scenarios in which it is uncalled for!

it’s a weird feeling i have reading fanfiction and knowing it’s pure, unbridled fantasy; there is a ZERO percent chance jjk boys would ever even glance in my direction in a romantic way but I’m delusional and Suguru geto is hot so i read it anyway but mannnn I read your lovely fic and was pleasantly thrown off by how for once i was visualizing the real fat me in place of the MC and not the me who is skinny and perfect.

it’s beautiful. it’s perfect. i love it, 10/10 stars i would pay you to write more.

especially abt something similar but with Gojo who is well aware of how perfect he really is whewww i just know that shit will hurt so good to read 😫

ONG HI FRIEND THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

WELCOME TO SHAMESY'S LIL CORNER OF THE INTERNET IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU

i definitely wrote from experience here bc i have always been fat and my past like,,, idk 4 flings have been average weight guys so im accumulating all my experiences into this lil fic and im so glad you love it!!

i definitely though am writing this from a less secure place than i am now so just in case im gonna let you in on a little secret:

men do like you. no, they do. its just like like we come up in this environment of asshole kids and even assholier adults who condition us to believe a certain way about ourselves that we feel like they don't but trust me,,, they DO. I date hot men irl but its literally because i woke up one day and decided i was gonna start telling myself i AM hot and i dont have to settle.

i felt s t u p i d at first but i literally had to like mentally beat myself into wearing what i wanted and not having a complex about it. now all i own are crop tops and cute outfits. i get hit on a ton in public. i didn't lose a single solitary pound.

you literally just have to make yourself break out of that mold and its so hard but let me tell you i LOVE you and im so happy you're here 💕

writing this one for the girlies like me has been so therapeutic and more is on the way!! i got some paragraphs in today so!! stay tuned!!

TAKE UR SMOOCH ASKS GET SMOOCHES AROUND HERE

[autistic-katara]

ok i might get blocked by a couple ppl for saying this but the Jackson’s Diary fandom is seriously making me wanna become a proshipper out of spite (read the post before blocking me or whatever please)

like idk if u guys have checked the fandom tag on ao3 recently but theres been a bit of drama surrounding the fact that someone posted a smut-fic of Exer (an 18yo) and David (an almost 18yo, who was aged up A FEW MONTHS for the fic) and they were harassed into taking it down and making a fucking apology post ON AO3, THE PROBLEMATIC FANWORKS WEBSITE.

and this fic was tagged 100% correctly like it was very explicitly tagged as smut n stuff yet there were still a bunch of comments being like “uhm what did i just read 🤨” and when i made a comment defending the authors right to yk, not be harassed for making not even rlly problematic content someone who clearly would suffer withdrawal symptoms if they turned twitter off for too long started arguing with me abt how “erm ackhtually we should be allowed to comment harassment under ppls harmless and explicitly tagged fics cause theres no smut in this fandom and it shocked us” and u could just rlly tell they felt they were more righteous than God in their opinions and yeah so cut to tonight when i’m scrolling through the tag and i see a post titled “i’m so sorry” in which the author made a post basically being like “i’m so sorry for posting that ik it was disgusting it has been permanently deleted” which in the comments a few ppl were telling them that what happened sucked n stuff (myself included // judging by their reply they only did this to stop the harassment which yk, completely fair) and i went back to scrolling since i wanted an actual fic not fandom drama but like 2 posts down there was another post titled “please stop” or smthn like that where someone else made a post basically being like “guyssss can we please not write smut of these characters this fandom is so wholesome i dont wanna ruin it 🥺 anyways sorry this isnt a fic this just needed to be said lol” and like dude, my guy, WHAT THE FUCK?!

this is AO3, this is a fanwork archive that as far as i know was created (at least partially) due to the fact that ppl kept getting their “problematic” works taken down from other sites and the creators wanted to yk archive all fanworks. this is NOT a social media site where u can make callout posts abt how what someone else posted disturbed ur pure wholesome chaste scrolling by daring to uploaded something with *gasp* consensual sex between 2 consenting adults?! (or canonically 1 consenting adult and 1 consenting gonna-be-an-adult-in-a-few-months-but-isnt-much-younger-than-the-first-guy but u get the idea)

like guys, ao3 is not twitter. it is not tiktok, it is not tumblr, its not youtube, its not even wattpad. it is not a social media platform, it is a fanwork archive, specifically one that lets u post whatever kinda content u want (yes, even smthn depicting 2 consenting adult/almost adult participates that are in no way related having sex, ik its crazy what they allow online these days).

and look honestly the callout post wouldn’tve annoyed me this much if it was posted on yk an actual social media. like if it was posted on twitter or tiktok or on youtube as a video essay or even on here, like sure if i saw it id be annoyed that this fandom cant handle the tiniest bit of non-puritanicalism and fuck, maybe if it was on here id even drag myself into a pointless days-long argument that causes me suicidal levels of stress but on archive of our fucking own itself?! for the millionth time, IT IS NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA! u dont make posts like that that u want the rest of the fandom to read or whatever on there because its not that kinda website!

anyways yeah i hope i explained the situation ok, u might be able to check it out urself if u feel like it and yeah idk this whole thing just kinda felt like a wake-up call for me like yes i find incest and pedophilia disgusting OBVIOUSLY and i dont like ppl romanticising it in fiction but idk i’ve seen ppl talk abt toxic antis before and show screenshots of conversations where theyve acted super shitty but idk seeing this all unfold in person and having to argue with these hardcore antis just- i dont wanna be associated with these ppl, if these are what alotta antis r like i dont want anyone to assume i agree with them like at all, whether its other antis, proshippers, or ppl like me who have a super complicated opinion on it. like they harassed a person into taking down their smut and made call-out posts on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN abt how they dont want their wholesome pure fandom corrupted by gross dirty irredeemable sex. and just yeah hope no mutuals i seriously care abt unmoot or even block me over this since ik a few of u r antis but yeah srry for this i just kinda seriously hate this fandom right now :)

also incase anyone is typing out a “kill yourself pedo” reply/rb rn; i turn 15 on Friday, i am 2+ years younger than ur innocent bb minor boy David and his definitely not already a legal adult boyfriend Exer so yk

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

I'm starving. Please, tell me your faves SP long fics 🙇🏻‍♀️. Your recommendations are always the best.

Good morning here’s some breakfast! I’ve read a lottttt and I’ve definitely recommended a good chunk of these before, but there’s some more recent ones on this list too! Multiple pairings, some dark subjects, some fluffier stories, all fairly long and most of these are complete! Here we go!!!

The Thief Trilogy by Wintergrew! C’mon we know I’m gonna rec that one every chance I get lmao the lore and world building is absolutely phenomenal!!!

This House of Mine by OrcaTimes another one I’ve recommended a lot BECAUSE IT EATS OK?!? One of the first sp fics I read and it’s so incredibly well written and the character dynamics slay so hard and we know I’m a Kyle girlie I LOVE him in this! Creek centric too!

Ship In A Bottle by FayOfTheForest COMFORT FIC FRFR it got me hooked on style and it’s WONDERFUL

Painted in Shrouds by courtanie THE best kysterion out there I said what I said AINT NOBODY DOIN K2 LIKE COURTANIE the plot is so incredible dude holy shit I was on the edge of my seat

The Stag Prince by SynapticFirefly dude ok y’all know I’ll read anything w my beloved elf Kyle and I KID U NOT THIS IS THE BEST KYMAN IVE EVER READ!!! The characterization is PERFECT like THIS is kyman to me, plus sot au so ofc I’m down it is WONDERFUL the adults are iconic in it too and it’s really a The Gangs All Here story

Hunger Pains by bellwether I KNOW I DONT SHUT UP ABT THIS ONE BUT I DO NOT CARE it truly altered my brain chemistry god chapter 16(?) I believe in particular fuck dude kenny in the whole thing but there’s this moment… and STAN I love my son so much and this is EASILY one of my favorite Stans ever plus I LIVE for Cartman caring about the guys in his own way this fic dude I could write an essay on it

The Illegitimate Opportunity Structure by espyonz STENNY OH MY FUCK this one is PHENOMENAL so far

Behind The Wall by Jwink85 look man ngl this one has been on my rec lists before and that’s because it’s INCREDIBLE also we know I fuck w jwink for the most part. Such an incredible portrayal of abusive relationships and so, so good. The style girlies gettin fed too FUCK I love them. Also dude jwink in general has some incredible stuff just be prepared for some dead dove action in some

speaking of consuming super dead doves, BRUH fuckin To Have And To Hold by courtanie JESUS CHRIST I KNOW IVE RECED THIS ONE BEFORE TOO BUT THATS BECAUSE ITS OBJECTIVELY ONE OF THE BEST STORIES IVE EVER READ YALL want k2? Dark Cryle? Kenny and Stan teamup? The gang forming a plan? Kyle never losing his fire despite everything? Mannnn look no further! I wanna make this a movie so bad

Knives by SparrowGrim dudeeeeeee this is such a cool premise and it feels VERY southparkian in a dystopian kind of way!

South Park Confidential by FayOfTheForest Dude I love this one we got the holy trinity of sp ships with style bunny and creek! It’s such a thrilling crime story SO cool to see characters develop and overcome their own shit, like dude!!!

You know I ain’t doin a rec list without shouting out to the homies!!! Song Of Broflovski by asteria7, pep and rm by boxwinebaddie, Entries From The Past by ViviBaby69420, A Ballad Of True Hearts by luckypoppies, ALL OF THESE KICK SO MUCH ASS!!!

Ok man that’s what I can think of as of rn, THANK U SO MUCH FOR ASKIN

[ash-and-starlight]

hi. So. I feel like I’ve reblogged enough of your art going rabid and screaming about it to actually come here and just tell you. Your art…. I am forever indebted to it. I’m not even joking rn I literally saw your art, realised the link was to tumblr and said: yep. I’m getting tumblr now. I could literally (I’m honestly not exaggerating) write a thesis about how much I love your art buuuuut I feel like that may come across as mildly creepy so I’ll limit it to one ask. Your art is absolutely BREATHTAKING. I cannot express how much I adore it with a passion. Every single time I see it I literally screech and grip my pillows and roll around and cry. You are one of the most talented artists I’ve ever come across. Like I don’t think u understand the sheer POWER that u hold. It’s unmatched, truly. I’ve literally never been so affected by someone’s art in my LIFE and if you ask anyone I know irl who ash is they’ll say: oh it’s that one artist who Sofia is batshit crazy about. You have the most incredible understanding of colours, anatomy, dynamics & poses, linework, emoTIONS, I could go on forever ever. I just hope you know how beloved you are in my eyes and everyone else’s, like we ADORE you and your art. Anyway to summarise this possibly stalker-ish ask. You’re literally the best person ever and your art is my reason to keep going. THANK YOU FOREVER !!! <3333

HIII!! god your tags had me giggling and blushing and kicking my legs for the past few days thank you so muuuuchhh you have no idea how much that means to me 😭😭 and giggling weeping crying abt this message too hello this IS an essay it’s even better than an essay okay!!! holy shit!!?? augh thank youuu thank you thank you so much i have no words like my brain is now just [very loud boiling teapot whistle]

i will think abt this forever and ever, i’m so glad you like my art that much and to know that it affects you so deeply thank you THANKKKK YOUU for taking time to reach out and write so many nice things omg 😭😭

also right back @ u?? im still shook by how you can draw so fast and consistently Good like your style is so distinctive, dynamic and full of life actually let me go get eye enlargement surgery to look at it more

aaaudhshshgds tysm again i’m going to print out your words 2947373 times and use them as wallpaper on my entire house

[chris-continues]

hello hello! could i ask for reader and knives stimming together? i feel like he'd be unused to acknowledging his own stims and maybe reader can help with that?

thank u!

I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABT THIS YESTERDAY AAAAAAA

Getting comfortable with one another.

Knives and neurodivergent reader!

@coffinbeananteiku U FEED MY BRAINROT THIS HAS SOME OF WHAT WE TALKED ABT IN KNIVES CHANNEL

I always write my reader as neurodivergent as that is my experience, but I felt like prefacing it once again.

You continue scrolling down the page you’re reading on, glancing over to Nai once again. You should’ve been studying- really, you should’ve, but while researching you stumbled upon an article on the embalming process in Egyptian times, and you couldn’t just pass up the opportunity to look into it more!

So.. yeah, probably a bit of a rabbit hole. And probably a bit off task. And Nai is probably a bit annoyed as he huffs, “You should work on your essay.”

Shit- you were caught. “Hah, sorry. I got sidetracked reading this.” You wring your hands out with the other, looking down at your keyboard shamefully.

“Reading what?” He peeked over, adjusting his glasses to get a better look before his eyes widened. “Yeah, they used natron. Did you know it takes around 70 days for the body to fully dry out?” His fingers tap against his knee repeatedly, reading over your laptop before staring at the coffee table as he continues,

“And- ahem, they filled concaves of the body with linens due to the dried out state- hundreds of yards of linens, actually. Then of course traditional wrappings, but the ceremonial measures taken-“ he stops himself, knee bouncing slowing once his eyes turn to look at you. “Excuse me, I went on a tangent.” He clears his throat once more, adjusting to go back to work, to your dismay.

“Oh no no, I’m listening! I’m like super interested in this kinda thing, it’s really cool. Tell me more!” You smiled in an attempt to reassure him to continue, hands waving excitedly.

He was nothing short of utterly ecstatic as his knee continued to bounce, passion evident in his eyes, “They had, uh,” he pauses to think back on what he was saying, “Ritualistic ceremonies performed for the burial themselves by religious figures, such as them being the only ones permitted to wrap the final linen around the body.” He turns to check your reaction, and is definitely pleased to see you stimming happily.

“Keep going! I’m like- so excited to learn about this stuff, it’s nice to see you so passionate over it.” His eyes blink, once, twice- before once again speaking.

Nai goes over the whole process and listens intently as you share your knowledge, heavily impressed by your enthusiasm and enjoying yourself.

For once, studying is put aside as you go back and forth, occasionally interrupting excitedly only to assure the other it’s ok, because you don’t need to worry about social cues that don’t measure up to much. Just enjoying yourselves.

[person4924]

hi !! i’m sam !! and uhhh that’s all u need to know but there’s more under the cut !!

(also im trying to make this aesthetic and cute but idrk how so if u have any tips pls pls pls !!)

yes i’m sad (secretly a dinosaur)

basic info

i’m sapphic of some sort and ace!!

i go pretty much by any pronouns atp but they is usually the best!!

i’m a minor. so please don’t be fucking weird.

i’m american (even worse, the midwest 😨) unfortunately but literally as soon as i fucking can im booting it and moving to norway

i’m neurodivergent of some some sort

i have a sideblog that is currently a confessions blog but it might change cus no one actually does it!! but if u would like to do a (general) confession then it is @just-a-little-lad4924

just general facts about me !

my personality type is INFP-T

i have 3 cats!! one at my dads, her name is graci (after gracie abrams ofc) and she’s about a year and a half, and 2 at my moms: regulus (guess who named him!! 😱) and libby and their siblings and are currently abt 3 months !! i could yap abt them forever i love them sm

my favorite color is dark green, fav season is fall, fav holiday is christmas or halloween, fav animal is cats or sharks or moths or jellyfish

i appreciate tone tags and try to use them as much as possible

im always bored so asks and everything are super duper cool !

i love love love making ananlysis' of basically anythng sooo if theres like a song or ship or something i could totallly write an essay abt it or smth !

uhhh idrk what else !!

fandoms AKA past hyperfixations that i’m still attached to but im not necessarily still in the fandom: harry potter (fuck jkr !!), MCU, KOTLC, marauders, boy meets world, it, osemanverse, paper girls, teen wolf, owl house, shameless, glee, stranger things, andi mack, tlou, riordanverse, brooklyn nine nine, new girl, hamilton, grishaverse, community, dawsons creek, bojack horseman, criminal minds, ted lasso, scooby doo, everything sucks!, the sun bearer trials, atypical, octonauts, dead boy detectives, will and grace, how i met your mother, the maze runner

uhhh can u tell i don’t have many friends.

fav movies (not counting fandoms): tick tick boom, my girl, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, little rascals, empire records, bottoms, nimona, little women, 500 days of summer, benny & joon, beautiful boy, call me by your name, lady bird, stand by me, RWRB, addams family values, the breakfast club, spiderman ITSV/ATSV, the outsiders, luca, the perks of being a wallflower, dead poets society, big daddy, the edge of seventeen

once again. i have very little friends. and very many issues.

fav music people: gracie abrams (if u couldnt tell), taylor swift, noah kahan, mitski, boygenuis, julien baker, phoebe bridgers, lucy dacus, hozier, the head and the heart, conan gray, RKS, queen. harry styles, the fray, olivia rodrigo, coldplay, billie eilish, maya hawke, bo burnham, chappell roan, the smiths, the revivalists, addriane lenker, lorde, fiona apple, alex g, ani defranca, radiohead

just general interests: poetry, art, writing, sitcoms, stand up comedy, greek mythology, the sky (like the stars, moon, sun, etc. astronomy metaphors are my everything), moths, jelly fish, ocean animals in general (first special interest 💪💪), pretty much just animals in general, 90's movies, cinematography, bo burnham (i didnt know where eles to put him), annotating, musicals

fav books (also not including fandoms): the perks of being a wallflower, the outsiders, i fell in love with hope, ill give you the sun, and more but i dont remember the names atm !

my fav ships (buckle in! i apologize.): wolfstar, jegulus, jily sometimes, pandalily, dorlene, rosekiller, drarry, jeric (bmw), reddie, charlie/nick, tara/darcy, tao/elle, lister/jimmy, pip/rooney, kajemac, sterek, isaac/stiles, malia/stiles, lumity, gallavich, ronance, solangelo, valdangelo, kinda percico, dianetti, wesper, kanej, trobed, joey/pacey, ralvez, spencer/ethan, kindaaa moreid, painland, newtmas

i might have missed a few but these are My Guys. /gn

links!

spotify!! - my character playlists are my pride and joy and reason for living, i could write essays about how each song could specifically fit the character and situation. anyways!!

discord

airbuds - idk if anyone uses this but if u do add me!!

ao3 - i have 1 fic that is my fav thing ever (a camp halfblood group chat) and the other two... are there

pinterest

tiktok - this is my alt that i blocked all my friends on and i have like my fandom shit but i don’t post that much and im barely on tt to begin with but yeah !!

pronouns page

spotify stats - idk if anyone uses this but also yeah !!

i have a super duper cool discord server that u should totally join too… link

i have a tagging system

sam shut the fuck up - og posts

asks!!! - asks

crazy? i was crazy once - big lists and essay things

sam sings :O - lyric/music posts

it’s so hard to be a lizard… - any jokes i make because im literally bo burnham

and i think thats it!! if anyone has any ideas of things to add then yeah !! or how to make it look prettier cusss uhhhh yeah.

oh yeah and this is an official @i-luv-multiple-ppl fan account so !!

and creds to @cafekitsune for the dividers!!

[agent-cupcake]

OHHHHHH MY GOD I just got done reading ur 24k word count gojo behemoth of a fic, and I don’t think I’ve read anything that good in the x reader genre for so long.

you have a genuine talent for suspense, the entire time I was reading I was watching every event build up and couldn’t predict when shit was abt to hit the fan. I felt literal dread at the climatic confrontation u have noooo idea. the way you manage to write the internal monologue of the reader character as juxtaposed to gojo who believes she’s some sort of conniving brat vying for his attention?? delicious. the build up of isolating her from her family and friends?? scrumptious. shoko deadass warning her?? (the spanking?? nourishing). you’re great at conveying the emotions of the characters you write, even if it’s a ‘blank slate’ reader insert. THE CHARACTERIZATION OF GOJO??! I could write an essay but will refrain. all in all: I’m gobsmacked.

perusing the tags of ao3 and finding this gem healed my soul I think. teacher/student fic is a guilty pleasure of mine for gojo specifically, and naming the fic after that one ‘lost’ porno song is really just the icing on the cake. 10000/10, will definitely be reading again, you’re legitimately a super talented writer.

Thank you so much!!!!! This means so much omg

Something I really enjoy about writing longer stories is how they're kind of like a puzzle trying to get everything in order to build to the literal and literary climax. I'm always so happy when people tell me that they felt suspense or dread while reading because of course I know exactly what's going to happen, so I can't know for sure if it'll be effective. Basically, thank you for saying this <3

And also you have the person who requested this to thank for the plot of that fic, it's not something I would have thought of on my own and I'm very grateful that they gave me a prompt so many people enjoy. All y'all are freaks lmao.

As a final note, the title is funny but every time I see it pop up in my notifs I get that damn song stuck in my head and it's driving me crazy.

[stellamancer]

hi hello niku i’m crawling into ur inbox bc apparently i . STILL have things to say abt bten 😞😞 i just had to let u know it wasn’t disappointing at ALL to hear more abt gojo’s mindset that just makes him feel even more canon 2 me ???? niku akutami…. i revere u 🙏🙏 it feels soooo Gojo to be a Nice Guy Deep Down Actually while also. having some ulterior motive or trick up his sleeve… he can never just be Normal :// he’s infuriating but unfortunately i do….. think it’s charming…….. 👉👈 he stockholm syndromed me a while ago i think </3

ANYWAYY i just wanted to pop in and thank u again for writing such an amazing fic!! and taking the time to answer my essay!!! i had sm fun hearing more abt ur writing process n little secrets hehe. sending u lots of good vibes !!!! :3

also funny that u mentioned the witches brew bc i was literally JUST rereading it + that’s another fic where i’m like. yeahhh gojo visits this author in their dreams … they know him better than akutami does…… certified gojo hivemind moment i think

LMAOOOOOO

i'M GLAD. cuz i was thinking 'golly ari has so much FAITH in gojo' and it's like. he can be a good guy and also have Motives. god that still sounds so ominous. but yes. he has things in mind. it would be nice if he could be normal but alas, his freakishly offputting ways are part of his strange charm.

stockholm syndromed huh... i was telling willow(ser) earlier today that it's like a hostage situation with him.... because ti is.

but NO!! I REALLY!! WANT TO THANK YOU!! FOR GIVING ME A SPOT TO RAMBLE!! FOR LIKING MY FIC!! T_T i'm sorry it has worsened the gojo brainrot. he's a menace. we need to toss him in the lava pit.

ALSO YES. THE WITCHES BREW. the first gojo fic i'd read. i'm sad the writer orphaned it because. i want them to know how absolutely brilliant they are. i hope there is someone out there who tells them every day.

[starheirxero]

tell me every fave you have of each fandom (tsams, ultrakill, undertale aus, etc)

now this is a threat /silly

- 📦

OH OH OH!!!!!!!! BOX ANON ILY. I’LL EVEN SHOW U PICTURES OF EACH HOLD ON IM ABOUT TO AUTISM THE FUCK OUT

TSAMS - SEE OKAY GET THIS. I have four faves that I cycle through at random but i physically cannot chose one. Those four are Lunar, Bloodmoon, Solar Flare, and Eclipse. I could write genuine actual essays about each of them i LOVE THEMMMM take my art of each bc i don’t wanna take a gazillion screenshots ABAJABA

Ultrakill - THIS IS PROBABLY SOOO OBVIOUS BUT UGHHH I LOVE GABRIEL HE’S MY ALL TIME FAVE. V2 and swordsmachine are close competitors tho now that I’ve played the game and kmow all their lore and such <3

UTMV - LISTEN. I MAY NOT GO HERE ANYMORE BUT CROSS WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART. Same goes for Killer bc that boy was my go-to for projecting and angsting and I literally made a 4-page doc noting various facts about Error soooo. yk (credits from left to right: jakei95, rahafwabas, and askerrorsans)

For “etc” we’re gunna do a speed round for a bunch of my back burner fixations!! Not gunna do images for them bc I have a lot so let’s go LMAO

Null from No Mans sky!! Laughed at by god, kinda selfish, desperately needs therapy, I love them endlessly!!

RGB from The Property of Hate!! Haven’t read the comic in forever but I still have the pin of his face on my billboard!! I lost the spooky eye version of the pin at school in 6th grade tho :( SAD!

Wheatley from Portal 2!! Everybody loved this bitch can you even blame me rn!!

Fern from Adventure Time!! I was like 12 and had an “I can fix him” approach!! I still have a big red sketchbook that I carried around in school filled with several doodles of him!!

SCP-049 and SCP-3090!! 049’s interview audio where he speaks old french made 11 y/o me go INSANE and I truthfully tried to learn french for years because of him!! and 3090 is a trans lesbian tv head who came back from the dead!!! Epic!!!!!!

WHOO. OKAY. Ahem. Straightens tie. I’m normal now. Thank u beloved box anon I love talking abt my faves HEHAHAJS

[casualhedonists]

i'm the one that asked u about ur favourite movies and i am so delighted to know you're a movie buff! you can tell with how lovingly you describe them and you have EPIC taste truly!!! are you on that movie app/site letterboxd? if so, drop the user RN bestie (if not, GET ON IT RN BESTIE)

ima slip in a couple recommendations rq (hopefully you've seen, but if you haven't, i reckon you might like) such as

'tick, tick... BOOM!' directed by Lin-Manuel Miranda (musical-biopic, Jonathan Larson, lots of catchy songs in it)

'Babylon' directed by Damien Chazelle (controversial, love letter to cinema, massive shit on Hollywood, beautifully made and incredible score)

'bones and all' directed by Luca Guadagnino (cannibal romance, outcasts, stoic and freaky movie)

the 'Before' trilogy directed by Richard Linklater (young ethan hawke, romance, beautiful beautiful score, essentially observing two people fall in love and talk for an hour and a half or something, incredible trilogy - my personal favourite is 'before sunset')

'When Harry Met Sally...' directed by Rob Reiner (classic rom-com, friends to lovers, unbelievably charming. i mean i would be surprised if you havent seen this one especially but just incase lmao)

'Sanctuary' directed by Zachary Wigon (dominatrix, freaky and sexy, cute score, interesting and really well made. not anything INCREDIBLE but definitely worth the look)

ANYWAYS sorry for taking up a lot of space in your inbox, would love to read some of ur thoughts on these, or just generally would love to see you post more about cinema if you're down!

i hope you're well and taking care of yourself! sending so so much love from (likely) across the world <3333

you’re the cutest nonnie hope you know that <3333

(i’m not on letterboxd a travesty i KNOW) i rlly do need to get around to that at some point bc wow

also!! you have incredible taste, these recs are 11/10

oh my god i fucking LOVE tick tick boom. like. i waited for months for it to come out and watched it w my family the day it came out and they all watched me ugly cry the whole time. it was such a moment in time. honestly i was so nervous i wouldn’t like it bc of how much i adore rent but lin manuel miranda was the only person id trust to do jonathan larson’s story justice and BOY did he exceed expectations. if we’re talking musical biopics, god i LOVED rocketman and bohemian rhapsody when they came out. that was such a good year for movies.

i also adore when harry met sally. god i just. romcoms. yknow?? strangely though despite my film buff status i didn’t watch it until like a year ago, it had been on my list for ages and def did not disappoint. i love the classic romcoms too, pretty woman, notting hill, love actually (did i mention the holiday in my original post?? pls tell me i did i could write essays abt that movie) like i shit you not i have a full spotify playlist with movie scores and i constantly say im like miles (jack black’s character) from the holiday bc he’s a composer and score buff (im only the latter lmao but still)

i’ve been wanting to watch babylon for the LONGEST time now you e def given me an excuse to get around to it!! and my friend has told me about bones and all saying it’s incredible (she and i have like this cannibalism inside joke it’s hard to explain without sounding weird lmaoo) and it’s also on the list!! and the before trilogy sounds right up my alley and i’m v curious to check out sanctuary also!!

i’m trying to think of other movies to suggest hmmm it depends on your tastes like my top five are def inspiring/heart wrenching but also comfort romance/ romcoms but i love all diff types of movies. like space movies as a category, the martian and interstellar as my top two for example. (also basically anything w jessica chastain in it i will watch bc im in love w her) and okay i also love the classics like the truman show, dead poets society, also horror movies too like the original scream is def my favorite horror film bc its hilarious, and i also (not in a toxic film bro way) rlly do like tarantino. like. inglorious basterds my beloved and also reservoir dogs, so good.

okay i think i’ve talked way too much abt movies for one post im wrapping it up now!! hope you’re well nonnie and sending tons of love back <333

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

HSHSHSHJD I know I already have another ask in ur inbox but I’m just. Super curious rn and I NEED to hear ur take because I trust you will give the best answer ever but. What music do u think stsg listen to? I know teen sugu listening to mitski has been talked about…. But….. what else !! Me personally I see gojo (teen and adult versions) being a biggg Bruno mars fan…. Occasionally listening to gaga…. Maybe some Beyoncé… Katy perry… you get the vibes :3 very upbeat songs that u can just vibe to I think. But DARE I SAY I think gojo would enjoy listening to songs from musicals. At first I think he would be like “musicals??? U mean like theatre??? Boring🤨🤨” (< envisioned teen gojo saying this all arrogant and cocky my little loser <333) but then you catch him screaming the lyrics to some Hamilton song when nobody else is around. He was trying to be cool infront of sugu okay. (He’s my little meowmeow) BUTTTT also. Aside from listening to sadgirl themed music (Mitski, laufey, pheobe Bridgers, etc etc) I feel like suguru would like “older” bands a bit? I know you mentioned him reading classics so it made me think. Maybe a bit of the smiths, the cure, etc…. Part of me wants to say he might listen to modern baseball but. Sigh,… would that be a controversial take chat….. is that just me projecting….. What do u think!!! This got way too long don’t look at me…. Curls into a ball in the corner of the room — stsg anon \(^ヮ^)/

STSG ANON MY DEAREST <3333 i put a bunch of cushions in the corner so you can curl up comfortably!! make yourself at home :3

goshhhh literally every single one of these are so real……… 😵‍💫😵‍💫 gojo listening to upbeat pop music so true, sugu listening to The Classics SO true……. i think he’d absolutely loveeeeee the smiths oh my god. he’s also 100% the type to wear those white tees w some band cover on the front…. oversized and a lil faded….. he’s so babygirl <3333 AND MODERN BASEBALL GODDDD YOUR BRAIN IS SO BIG i always think of him and toru when i listen to tears over beers :((( he would love them…. also can i just say . the mountain goats 👉👈 the front bottoms 👉👈 sugu loves them all !!!

with that being said . SOOOOO REAL SO TRUE SATORU WOULD BE A MUSICAL LOVER THERE’S NO DOUBT IN MY MIND …… technically i KNOW he’s more of a stem kid but in my heart he’s a theatre kid. it just makes sense. AND OFC YOU GET IT STSG ANON ……. ohhh he would love singing along 😔😔 he wouldn’t be able to help himself!!! i feel like he’s sort of embarrassed abt it in high school (”he was trying to be cool in front of suguru” CANON BTW!!!), but when he’s all grown up? COMPLETELY unabashed. he loves musicals so much. his favorite would 100% be the legally blonde musical no i don’t take criticism…. he stans elle woods as he should!! also plays the songs on repeat loudly and it irritates everyone else <33

sadly i feel like sugu would be the boring type :/// who doesn’t like musicals ://////// very disappointing but that’s just who he is . satoru would make him see the light though!!! i can see suguru really enjoying my personal favorite musical of all time…. the guy who didn’t like musicals (WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY IT’S SO GOOD IT CHANGED MY LIFE 😔😔😔) <333 bc of the meta commentary!! and i think he’d like the humour too. usually he just indulges satoru in whatever musical he forces him to watch but when they watch it he genuinely chuckles a couple times and looks interested so satoru gets SO hyped …… cuties

as you can tell i’m Normal abt musicals (i love them so much i would die without them) BUT ANYWAYYY your asks can never be too long stsg anon…. pls don’t worry….. you could write a whole essay and i would simply eat it up <33 THIS WAS SO FUN TO THINK ABT AND I AGREE W ALL YOUR PICKS!!!!

[little-cereal-draws]

Imma be completely honest, I’m literally only here as a Marvel Fan because of MK and WWBN, the writing of everything else is atrocious.

This is my fifth year being an mcu fan so i definitely have not been following it since the beginning but those two definitely are the best of phase 4.

I know this isnt' what u asked for but i'm bored here are my ratings for phase 4:

Moon Knight. I'm not going to write all the reasons i love it bc that would turn into an entire essay lol but this show is phenomenal and has captured my heart and soul

Werewolf by Night. again, just like moon knight, it's creative and cinematic and perfect in every way

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. It's funny, got good action, emotional parts, and i live for shang and katy's relationship. they're so funny and i'm eternally glad they didn't force them into a weird romance

Ms. Marvel. the kids were written like kids and kamala is so dorky and cute. i know a lot of ppl didn't like her for some reason but she also lives in my heart

Hawkeye. This is just bc im one of those comic book nerds and have read every single hawkeye book and have merch and stuff lol I'm a diehard fan and loved pointing out all the little details even if it deviated from the comics

Black Widow. I think people are right that Yelena did steal the show a little bit but i love it anyway. It always makes me cry. every time.

Thor: Love and Thunder. I liked this movie! I saw it in theaters multiple times and enjoyed it. I can see the reasons behind people's critiques and do agree that the first half felt a bit weirdly paced but the second half really saved it for me

WandaVision. I'm just a sucker for Wanda and Vision lol They were my first mcu ship and i'm glad they finally got a spotlight. ppl complain abt the ending but i thought it was pretty good

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I loved seeing all the different dynamics that came up in this show and the real world problems it addressed. It also made me cry. I loved Sam and Bucky but Karli really stole the show for me and I was on her side the whole time lol

What If...? I actually really liked the reimagining of the characters and the odd pair ups. It was fun to see all the new interactions we would never get in canon. I think the watcher was weird and didn't need to fight ultron but the rest of it was good. Also the animation was beautiful. I was on the edge of my seat trying to get a better look at it the whole time lol

Spider-Man: No Way Home. It was a really good movie but I haven't seen all the og spider man movies so i didn't know who a lot of the villains were. and peter could have thought his little stunt at the end through a bit more but oh well. Still funny though

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. It was really exciting to see America (i'm also a fan of her comics) but really I was rooting for wanda the whole time lol Ofc I knew that america would live bc they need her for the young avengers but it was really fun seeing wanda be in her villain era. they did her dirty at the end tho and basically had her learn the lesson she just learned in wandavision... which was also the lesson she learned in civil war. when will they give my girl a new arc? also i'm in denial, I refuse to believe she's dead :) (and also dr strage was in it too ig)

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special. This was fun, I had a good time. It was really funny and finally confirmed that peter and mantis were siblings but i don't think i'll watch it any time other than christmas (unlike werewolf by night which is a year round event lol)

She-Hulk: Attorney at Law. ok this one got a lot of hate but i don't see why? i didn't think it was bad, i just wasn't gripped by the story. i only watched up to episode three so i can't judge the whole thing but it was a bit too slice of life-y for me to be engaged w the story but as far as i can tell, that's jen's thing. The parts that i did see weren't poorly written and it's not the shows fault the animation was so bad (cough marvelwon'tlettheiranimatorsunionize cough)

Eternals. Same problem as she hulk. it wasn't bad, it just wasn't interesting. I only made it through half the movie before i left but i was really confused by who was who. i kept getting them mixed up

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. The only reason this is so low is because I haven't seen it yet. I've heard nothing but glowing reviews so i'm sure it'll go up to the top of the list but i can't judge it until i see it

Loki. I hate this show, i hate it so much. I am so fucking mad abt this bc it had so much potential! I've also read the loki comics and i think those set my bar too high. yes, the show acknowledges loki is bi but they make him fall in love with another version of himself instead of doing anything w that. yes, they acknowledge he's genderfluid but we never see it, not even in flashbacks. he's trying to redefine who he is and stuff but i was so distracted by the horrible self-cest romance, that i was actively rooting against, to notice character development. If you want a good story about a bisexual, genderfluid loki redefining themself in the most beautiful way, read the Loki: Agent of Asgard comic run

[otrtbs]

OKAY SO I FINISHED THE GOLDFINCH (spoilers btw) AND I HAD TO REST A BIT BEFORE I RAMBLED BUT OMG I LOVED IT SO MUCH.

First of all, his mom. Loved her, mourned her. When she was in the museum and she was like “it’s crazy but I think I could spend the rest of my life staring at the same 5 paintings, I can’t think of a better way to go insane.” That’s not an exact quote but like SO TRUE.

Then Welty in the museum and Pippa and omg like him just casually being like my mom loved this painting and this guy wants me to take it? Hell yeah I’ll do it. But also, yeah I’d do it too.

Him staying at Andy’s? HIS DAD SHOWING UP??? Oh my lord when he met Hobie and started learning about antiques, I love them and also that later Boris calls him Potter and Hobie’s name is James? I was like, yeah that’s his real dad. But the fact that his dad showed up with Xandra and he’d been cheating on Theo’s mom? Outrageous.

Then BORIS. Do those two have severe issues? Yeah. Did I love their relationship with all of my heart? Also yeah. Like when Theo is leaving to go back to NY and they KISS and then they like both know that he isn’t saying the thing he really wants to say which is I love you? WHAT?!?! SO GOOD. Like I love Boris and Theo’s relationship and then how Pippa sort of plays into it. I mean like especially when Boris shows up in NY later and Theo just immediately trusts him. Like he does basically everything Boris asks of him without question. It’s adorable. Honestly I feel like Pippa was more of a left over of his mother and his love for her was obv not normal (hopefully that’s a generally accepted opinion).

But yeah then him almost marrying Kitsey? Also him charging so much extra on antiques? I’m not gonna lie I’d do the same thing. But then Amsterdam???? MURDER??? BORIS STOLE THE PAINTING?????

Omg and then the end. The last few pages made me cry and then I sat down and wrote a draft of my college application essay about the lines “we can’t choose our hearts. We don’t get to choose the people we are.” I’m not even kidding. Also I’m pretty sure you said that AHB was inspired a bit by this book and I could tell when reading The Goldfinch, in a good way obviously. I’m not even joking I feel like you’re writing reminds me of Donna Tartts. Anyway I’m never going to stop thinking about this book <3 I love you for recommending it

❗️The Goldfinch and Art Heist Spoilers Below!!!❗️

ohmygosh ahhh!! (i'm sorry this took me so long to get to, I had to wait until I was on my computer so I could TYPE hahaha)

Theo's mom is so amazing :,) I love her too :,)))

WELTY IN THE MUSEUM (reg's death in ahb! is HEAVILY inspired by Welty's death scene) and poor theo is so so naive in those moments too when he knows that Welty's not breathing but then he tries to be quiet as he's leaving anyway "just in case he was asleep" :(((((((

DUDE AND THEN WHEN HE GOES TO FREAKING ANDY'S UR LIKE,,, MAYBE HE'LL BE OKAY-ISH and I can talk abt andy 5ever how he always was afraid of water and hated sailing and he died in a boating ACCIDENT LIKE WHAT ?? ALSO THEO WANTING TO BE ADOPTED BY THEM ALSO ALSO when theo was as good and as polite as humanly possible bc he didn't want to inconvenience the barbours and then when he meets Mr. Barbour back in nyc after vegas and he's like "no free hand-outs" I SOBBED I LITERALLY SOBBED SO HARD

HOBIE BEING THEO'S FATHER FIGURE YEAH YOU ARE SO SO RIGHT AND HE'S SO SWEET AND KIND AND JUST A LITTLE RESTORER :,))) PLEASE

okay yeah!!!! the fact that his dad showed up w Xandra and they took his mom's stuff :,((( please i hate them, i hate them so much it breaks my heart

THEN BORIS AND OKAY THE WAY THAT THEY ARE IN LOVE! but like theo has internalized homophobia to the MAX and the way he's jealous of Boris' girlfriend like soooOOooo jealous and they looked out for each other !

Pippa!! Pippa is the morphine lollipop for theo. just enough of his past life, just enough of his mother to dull the pain for a little while but it's never enough!! and it's unhealthy!!!!! (yeah theo is like obsessed w her in a not healthy way :( it wasn't love)

KITSEY WAS THE WORST DECISION EVER! BECAUSE WDYM UR GONNA MARRY THE GIRL WHO WAS LIKE A LITTLE SISTER TO YOU ??? TO MAKE MRS. BARBOUR HAPPY? YEAHH,,,YEAHHHH ALSO THE EARRINGS HIS MOMS EARRINGS THAT HE WANTED HER TO WEAR I CAN TALK ABOUT THAT 5EVER TOO(also so many people like kitsey but i cANNOT stand her. at all.)

and then AND THEN theo charging so much for antiques and when he tells hobie finally and goes to the kitchen to get water and he's like "that's what my father always did" and when his mom was like "you sound just like your father" right before she died and when theo was like "i hated looking just like my father" SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALLLLLLL

AND THEN AMSTERDAM!!! AMSTERDAM AND MURDER!! AND THEO AND BORIS AND HIM IN HIS SICK PANICKED STATE W NO PASSPORT SITS IN MY BONES AND MAKES THEM FEEL SO HEAVY AND WATERLOGGED THE AMSTERDAM PART OF TGF IS ONE OF THE BEST (and people say they didn't like it and that it dragged on which HURTS but yk)

when i found out boris stole the fucking painting,,,my heart like plummeted in my chest,,,,,like that's why he didn't go w theo to nyc,,,that's why he got involved w all these people,,, to get theo's painting back and THE WAY THEO JUST FORGIVES HIM?? THEY'RE IN LOVE IDC IDC

ALSO POPCHYK AHH I LOVE THAT DOG THE MOST!!!!!

OKAY AND THEN WHEN THEO IS FREAKING WRITING THOSE LETTERS TO EVERYONE IN AMSTERDAM AND COMPARES HIMSELF TO THE FREAKING PUPPY HIM AND HIS MOM FOUND AND COULDN'T SAVE AND HIS MOM ALWAYS CALLED HIM "PUPPY" LITERALLY CRYING AND THROWING UP AGAIN

ahb! was inspired in part by the goldfinch and the fact that you even said my writing was remotely close to donna tartt's make me TEAR UP YOU HAVE NO IDEA I WILL THINK ABT THIS COMPLIMENT FOR THE REST OF MY LITTLE LIFE

IM SO SO SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE GOLDFINCH!!!! AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING UR THOUGHTS WITH ME!! <33333 AHHH (so sorry for the extremely over enthused ramblings on my part!! <333 )

[fbfh]

“forever” paxton hall-yoshida x reader

genre: fluffy romance + mutual pining (not too slowburn tho lol)

word count: 3.4k

au: none?? jock x theatre nerd ig

pairing: Paxton x broadway baby!reader 

requested: yes !! i hope u like it uwu

warnings: one hell one motherfucking and i think that’s it for swearing?? um brief self deprecating/talking bad abt urself from paxton (bby boy needs a self love boost), reader and paxton are home alone together for a little while but nothing bad happens, uh,,, i think that’s it

summary: when Eleanor can’t run lines with you, she sends over a very attractive, mutually pining substitute.

reccomended songs: “Seventeen” - Tuck everlasting OBC, “The Kiss” -The Princess Diaries score

a/n: i’m p sure i kept the reader p gender neutral but there’s implied slightly long hair, and you play the lead (a girl named winnie) in ur schools production of tuck everlasting but like it’s theatre so anyone can play anyone lol,, this took so got dam long bc i’m fucking s o f t for jock x artist and it just sorta happened lol aLsO,, not super thoroughly edited so there might be a typo or two?? im tired lol

requests r open <3

You had only ever seen two athletes present during rehearsals. Once when Madeline (who at the time was playing Penny in your production of Hairspray) was dating a guy from the soccer team. The other was when the star of the basketball team had come in to give your choreographer pointers for the basketball scenes during High School Musical. 

Until now.

You had run onstage part of the way through “Live Like This”, which wasn’t out of the ordinary since so much progress had been made on the costumes. You were still tying the ribbon on your pinafore as you jumped into the song, but when your eyes met a face in the usually empty auditorium, you faltered. You almost sang the wrong verse, but recovered quickly, continuing with the blocking. What felt like a moment later, the number was almost done and you were nearing the end of your counterpoint with Mae Tuck - played by Eleanor, of course. Who could be better for the part? You held out the last note, trying to stay in character despite all the distractions in the back of your mind. You had to talk to Eleanor when the director called for 10; she’d started telling you how Devi was being weird recently. Also, what the Hadestown was Paxton Hall-Yoshida doing chilling in the auditorium? You shoved all that away, focusing on staying in character until the director called for a break. 

‘I want to go to the fair. I want to go so badly! I just need a change, need to get out of this house for a little while. I never do anything, so this can’t be asking for too much, right?’ 

You projected all that into your everything - face, voice, mannerisms, energy.

“Hold!” 

Everyone froze.

The director wrote a few things on his paper, sighed, and underlined something several times. 

“Okay, good job! I need to revise some of the blocking, then we’ll do notes, so take ten.” Your sudden nerves had definitely made you pitchy, you knew that would be one of your notes for sure. 

A chorus of “Thank you ten”s erupted, and you immediately ran to Eleanor, telling the others good job as you passed. 

You leaned in and started speaking to her, quietly.

“Okay you need to finish telling me about Devi, and that other news you’re being so cryptic about! Also, what’s up with Fierro over there?” you nodded towards Paxton hoping he wouldn’t see, and you noticed Fab is sitting near him. You realized they’re probably waiting for Eleanor and/or Devi. That must be it, he’s been hanging out with them lately, right? Eleanor gasped.

“You’re right! Paxton is such a Fierro!”

You cringed inwardly a little bit as her voice carried through the auditorium, mixing with the others. Your eyes darted over to him for a fraction of a second. Oh god. He was looking at you. Or in your general direction at least. Lena, the costumer, walked around the set gingerly, following you around and getting you out of your dress incredibly carefully as you and Eleanor walked off stage. 

“No! Well, yes- but no. What’s he doing here? Jocks never come here during rehearsals. I saw Fab too, are you guys and Devi getting dinner or something?” You said, entering the auditorium, and stepping out of the dress. You grabbed sweatpants and a silky, floral kimono jacket from your bag to throw over your leotard and tights. She waved back at Fab before sitting down in the front. You both grabbed your fans and dramatically flicked them open in sync. Your wrists fluttered, cooling both of you off.  A knowing, and slightly mischievous, look came on her face. 

“Devi and Fab and I are. Paxton must be here for something… else.” she shrugged, nodding towards Paxton. You looked over again. He was staring at you. You did a double take and tried to hold back your smile. 

“Wh- I do not know to what you are referring.” 

“To what I am referring is the blush on his cheeks.”

You barely held back a nervous, bubbling laugh.

“He is not blushing! Why would he be blushing!”

“I don’t know,” She shrugged, “Just like how I don’t know that he’s been loitering in the halls outside the music room during your last three solo music rehearsals.”

You struggled for an answer. Before you could form one, you were interrupted.

“Okay, okay what is the best Lin Manuel Miranda musical? Because Kathryn thinks it’s Hamilton-” 

“Duh!”

“-But I think it’s In the Heights! It’s an underrated jewel!” Jonah interjected, still wearing his Jesse Tuck hat. 

You considered for a moment.

“I mean, they’re too different to compare. In the Heights has the same energy as Rent - showcasing what goes on in ordinary people’s lives, and how love ties us all together,” he nodded in agreement, “But Hamilton is on a way larger scale, almost Les Mis meets Fun Home vibes. But in terms of personal preference…” Eleanor scoffed at your answer, and Jonah went back to debate further with Kathryn.

“Anyway,” you turned back to Eleanor to ask her what the hell she meant by Paxton Hall-Yoshida was blushing. But before you could-

“Eleanor, we need you to try on your blue dress again,” Lena was already pulling her away, “I had the empire waist in the right place but half the pins fell out, and it’s just...” And she was whisked away before you could finish the thought. You just had time to help Holly get out her wig pins and drink some lemon water before notes. Eleanor still wasn’t back, so you made sure to write down hers for her. It was pretty standard; be quiet backstage, go over your lines, don’t touch props that aren’t yours, don’t eat in costume, and a couple blocking changes you made note of. After your end of rehearsal warm downs and huddle, everyone left relatively quickly. You ducked into the bathroom to freshen up a little. Sometimes it was hard coming down from such intense energy after rehearsal. You mentally ran through your to do list. You needed to get some more tea, write that essay when you got home, go over your notes- You gasped, cutting off your own train of thought. You ran out of the bathroom to look for Eleanor, still clutching her notes in hand. 

~

Your voice still echoed in Paxton’s ears. He wished he had a whole album of you singing. Your voice made him want to ruin his spotify algorithm by listening to nothing else. You had looked at him a couple times, and his heart had almost stopped. He didn’t know eye contact could be so intense. It’s probably just cause you’re like, the only person in the audience. Where else is she supposed to look? He deflated a little. He heard his name and looked over to you and Eleanor talking together. Hopefully it was about him. Hopefully it was good. He checked his phone, trying to look busy. When he glanced up to see if you were looking, you were gone. He started to look around for you when he saw Eleanor waving at Fab, and sure enough, you were next to her. What he didn’t expect was you dropping your dress to the ground. Time slowed down (and his heart sped up) as you stretched a little, and pulled out sweatpants from your bag.

Wow.

 You had on what looked like a bathing suit on underneath, and a few other people had done the same, but he knew that image would be in his memory, probably forever. His heart was beating in his ears and he knew he must be blushing.

“You okay, Paxton?” Fab asked, a seat or two away. Oh god, he didn’t want people asking why he blushed every time he looked at you! He muttered something about needing to make a call and headed for the doors. Don’t look back at her, don’t look back at her… His eyes involuntarily darted in your direction right before he left. You had on a flowy translucent jacket, your hair thrown back supermodel style as you fanned yourself to cool down. He needed to cool down too. Maybe a cold shower, a really cold shower.

~

You managed to find Eleanor just before she left. Two girls were with her, you had seen Fab once, and you’d heard a lot about Devi, but had never been introduced. 

You gave Eleanor her notes, and she hugged you.

“You’re a lifesaver!” 

“Of course, I-”

“Uh, who’s this?” you looked over, and the shorter girl - Devi, based on what you’d heard about her -  was giving you a weird look. You introduced yourself. 

“Nice to meet you. How do you know Eleanor?” said the taller girl - definitely Fab.

“Oh,” you smiled, “she’s my almost mother in law. And my arch rival,” you counted on your fingers, “my sister, my niece, my lover, my husband, and…” you trailed off, trying to think of the other dynamics your characters had had in past shows.

“Your co-conspirator.” 

“Right,” you laughed. Devi and Fab looked at you two.

“We’re in the musical together.” you clarified. You were about to part ways when you called to Eleanor, “Hey, we’re still on for running lines tomorrow night?” 

“Uh… Sounds good!” she walked away quickly, speaking to Devi and Fab in hushed tones. Something was definitely up. That was typical Eleanor Scheming behavior. 

~

That night, you almost couldn’t sleep. This wasn’t the normal post rehearsal can’t sleep. In fact, Tuck Everlasting was the last thing on your mind as you readjusted your pillows and snuggled into your duvet. You stared at the neon blue stars projected and swirling on your ceiling. You sighed. Again. Your brain was a 24/7 livestream of Paxton Hall-Yoshida to relax/study to. You saw him again, his face in the dimly lit auditorium, Adonis in a sea of faded seats. If you hadn’t been sure before, you knew now that red was definitely his color. You rolled onto your side. Your heart picked up speed as a thought crossed your mind. You could almost see Paxton now, kneeling next to you, his fingertips brushing your cheek. The piano underscore to “Seventeen” ran through your mind. You could imagine him saying “Wait with me, we could share the world…” so vividly it almost hurt. He leaned in, and… 

You let out a loud sigh and rolled over again. Your heart was fully saturated. That’s more than enough pining for tonight. 

~

“Paxton!” 

He was a little surprised when Eleanor just walked up to him at lunch the next day. Most people were too intimidated to approach him out of the blue. 

“I have a plan.”

“Uh, I don’t know what you-”

“Cut the crap, I know you like her.” 

His face blanched. Well, yeah of course he did. Who wouldn’t? He was going to ask Eleanor if there was something he could do to win you over, just not here, not now. Not where everyone could watch and jeer and rib him for it. Just like they were doing now. 

“Woah, dude, who is it?” Trent asked. He fumbled for words. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He hadn’t kept his crush a secret because he was embarrased of you, he’d kept it a secret because his dumbass friends wouldn’t get you. Hell, he barely got you. You were so deep, and emotive, and artistic... 

“Bro, if you like her as much as it seems like you do,” Trent continued, “you gotta win her over.” He was a little shocked at the agreement murmuring through his group of friends. He didn’t know how to respond. Trent turned to Eleanor.

“What’s the plan, drama mama?”

“First of all,” she said, an almost humorously dangerous look on her face, “never call me that again. Second,” she shoved some papers into Paxton’s hands, “meet me in the music room immediately after school.” She started back for her table. Trent looked back over to Paxton. 

“You gotta do it, dude. We’ll cover for you at swim.” 

The rest of his friends agreed. He was pleasantly surprised at how supportive they were being. 

“Yeah, I guess... we’ve got a plan.”

~

The next day went by pretty smoothly. No rehearsal was scheduled since they were finishing construction for some of the sets, but everyone was instructed to do a couple read throughs of the script, focusing on scenes they’re still forgetting, to make sure everyone’s off book. You stopped by 7 Eleven to get a blue slurpee (for homework) and a couple coconut waters (for run throughs). You texted Eleanor on your way to the slurpee machine. 

okay so do you like the mango coconut water or the pineapple one?? It’s the mango one right?? i always forget lmao

sent at 4:16 pm

btw I don’t have that much homework so you can probs come by around 5:30 if you’re ready by then

sent at 4:16 pm

Bae Tuck

OMFG!! I totally forgot about running lines tonight, I can’t make it! :( but I’ll send someone over to help you out. :)

sent at 4:17 pm

You squinted at your screen. That was weird. Eleanor never used colon parentheses smilies. Like, ever. She always used emojis, and usually way more than two per text. 

yeah np, are u good? ♡

sent at 4:17 pm

Bae Tuck

Yes :)

sent at 4:18 pm

Bae Tuck

Also get the passionfruit one 🥥🍠 👀

sent at 4:18

that’s,,, el that’s a sweet potato,,

sent at 4:19 pm

Bae Tuck

Close enough 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

sent at 4:19pm

...Okay? That was definitely weird. You shook it off and headed for the counter to pay. You stopped half way there, and turned back to swap the mango for passionfruit. 

Not long after you had finished your homework and tidied up your room a little, the doorbell rang. You exited the kitchen, drinks in hand, and opened the door. Your heart caught in your throat. Paxton Hall-Yoshida was standing outside. And you were pretty sure he looked nervous. You both just stood there for a second. No one breathed, no one spoke. 

“Uh, hi, do you want to…” you backed up, motioning for him to come inside. 

“Yeah, thanks,” he said, entering the doorway. Paxton motherfucking Hall-Yoshida was in your living room. You held out a hand to him.

“Coconut water?” he took the box, looked at the label, and smiled. 

“Yeah, thanks,” he said again, this time a faint, yet unmistakable note of joy in his voice. He took a sip. He smiled.

“Passionfruit’s my favorite.” You silently thanked Eleanor, who you knew must have planned all this. Most of the evening was a blur, and you thanked god your family wasn’t home right now. You went upstairs, texted Eleanor asking what the actual fuck, made some surprisingly comfortable small talk, then filled him in on how to run lines. 

“Do you think playing the soundtrack would help you… get into character?” he asked. 

“I would probably just end up singing the whole thing,” You laughed and tried to ignore the butterflies in your chest. The main scene you struggled with was before “Seventeen”. It was harder to get into Winnie’s head because you had no romantic feelings for Jonah, and you always just made each other laugh. You had started with a few easier scenes of Winnie and Jesse, like the fair, and the dialogue before “Top of the World”. 

“That was really good,” he said, and you felt the sincerity of his words. 

“Thanks…” you smiled and took a sip of coconut water, hoping you weren’t blushing too hard. 

“So what next?” he asked. 

“Probably the scene before ‘Seventeen’,” you said, giving him the page and scene number, “it’s one of the hardest ones for me. I guess I just can’t connect to Jonah the way Winnie does.” 

“Huh,” he said, skimming the page. When you looked up at him, he had something between a smile and a smirk playing at his lips. You made yourself look away before you got too distracted. You refused to think about the fact that you were sitting across from Paxton Hall-Yoshida on your bed, in your room, like you were… close with each other. His eyes skimmed the script, finding the dialogue. He glanced up at you and nodded, indicating he found his place. You began.

“I was so afraid you wouldn’t get away,” you said, jumping into character.

“I may be 102, but I can still outrun anyone,” a smile played at his lips. You smiled, then let your face fall.

“I’m so sorry, I-I tried to warn you-”

“No, no,” he interjected almost seamlessly, “It’s okay, it’s… refreshing having someone look after me who isn’t my mom.” His eyes flickered between your face and the page. You smiled with him for a second, then let distress cloud your face.

“Jesse… that man came by my house today. He heard the music box, he knows about you-”

“I know he knows…” 

You continued on with the scene and he trailed off when he came to the sheet music for the song Seventeen. You took in a breath to start the dialogue in the middle of the song, but before you could…

“Six years from now you will turn seventeen,

Turn seventeen,

The same age as me,

Six years from now,

Go to the spring,

Go to the spring and drink…”

He was singing to you. He was looking at you and singing to you. His eyes only flickered down to the page to confirm the lyrics. He was nervous, you could tell. But through his hesitance, the emotion in his voice was sincere. Your heart was beating faster. You didn’t even notice your pulse was ringing in your ears, you were too focused on Paxton. 

“I'll wait for you till you turn seventeen,

Turn seventeen,

The same age as me,

Six years from now,

Go to the spring,

Go to the spring and drink…” Your hand rose to cover your mouth. He hesitated, and you remembered your dialogue.

“Uh, wh-what if I… forget where the spring is?” He reached out and took your free hand in his. Your pulse was off the charts. “I’ll go get you some water. Just… remember to keep it somewhere safe. Somewhere no one will find it.” You got the feeling he wasn’t just talking about the water. You knew he had never really been in a serious relationship before, and it clicked suddenly - if he learned an entire song to duet with you, just how much he must like you. You exhaled a breathy laugh, unsure how to process the sudden euphoria you felt. 

“You make the world sound so… exciting. I just want to drink the water right now!”

“Uh, no. You have to wait.” you both smiled, anticipating the upcoming joke.

“Why?” you ask, “What’s the difference?” You held your breath as he tried not to laugh through the delivery of the punchline. 

“Believe me,” he rubbed his thumb over your hand, “there’s a difference.” You both chuckled, and he continued singing. You were so focused on him, so… touched that he would do all this for you. 

“Winnie, wait with me,

And we could be married,

Winnie, wait with me,

And we'll share the world,

Winnie, you can stop time,

And live like this,

Forever…”

“I could live like this forever,” you echoed.

“Live like this...” you sang in tandem.

“What do you say, Winnie? Do you want to…” he broke character suddenly, and asked, his eyes boring into yours, “Do you want to go out some time?” 

He could see the adorable smile blooming on your face, even from behind your hand. You nodded.

“Yes, I-I would love that,” and you began to sing the last line in the song, “Forever-” 

But before you finished holding out the note, his lips were on yours. His mouth moved slowly, intentionally, against yours. You followed his lead, flustered. He leaned further forward, his palm caressing your cheek. It was everything you imagined it would be, and you had quite the imagination. Your head was angled up and your hands rested themselves on his back, one tracing little shapes. Your shoulders were pressed against each other and neither of you could think. He was so warm. He tasted like coconut and passion fruit, and a distant part of your mind silently thanked Eleanor again. 

You really could live like this forever.