#I could watch her throwing Jake out of her apartment and claiming her love for Fitz allday everyday for the rest of my life

[pandenewie]

24 - Trauma Bonded ❤

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Things are different. Maybe others couldn’t see, like Wonyoung and Ricky, but Hiyyih and Hikaru knew. There weren’t any obvious signs between Jungwon and Y/n - apart from being especially clingy (which to strangers could just be seen as a young couple in love) but Hiyyih and Hikaru knew.

They knew that Jungwon was lying about when free time was, sneaking away from scheduled activities for “bathroom breaks” to spend time with Y/n. They knew that Jungwon was sneaking off to meet Y/n at night, conveniently being back in his cabin by the time Mr Jeon woke them up in the morning.

It’s not just Jungwon, either. They see the way Y/n looks at him now. The way their gaze follows him when he’s turned away, eyes shining with nothing short of admiration. The way how, even when Jungwon isn’t there, Y/n’s eyes scan the room for him. The sudden change is alarming, to say the least.

“Karu, wake up.”

Hikaru stirs slightly in her sleep, letting out a mumbled whine and turning away from the noise. “Seriously, look.” The voice says again. Hikaru opens an eye to see Hiyyih standing at her bed, pointing out the window.

Sitting up slightly, she looks out the window just as a hooded figure walks past their cabin, dim torch in hand. “It’s Jungwon.” Hiyyih clarifies, watching curiously as the figure makes its way to one of the far cabins. Hikaru rolls her eyes before flopping back on the bed. “Who cares? It’s about time he started rebelling, I think.” She mumbles through a yawn. 

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” Hiyyih asks, watching as the cabin door opens - revealing a happy Y/n who quickly embraces Jungwon. “I think it’s weirder that you woke me up to watch our best friend's boyfriend go for a midnight walk.” Hikaru says, rolling over and closing her eyes once again. Bahiyyih goes to remind Hikaru that Y/n and Jungwon aren’t actually dating but is instead met with a gentle snore.

Rolling her eyes, Bahiyyih goes back to her own bed. Not before sending a quick text to Y/n, saying that they will be talking in the morning.

“What’s wrong?” Jungwon asks, noticing the confusion on Y/n’s face as they look at their phone. “Nothing… just Bahiyyih being weird and ominous.” Y/n shrugs, turning off their phone and throwing it to the other side of the bed - which isn’t very far, considering it's only a single.

“I can’t believe you only got the single whilst those two idiots got a double.” Jungwon scowls, looking across the room to where Jay and Jake are fast asleep. “I mean, you literally paid for it.” He adds, making Y/n laugh slightly. “You want me to sleep with one of them?” Y/n teases, Jungwon’s eyes widening at their words. “No…” He mumbles, pulling Y/n in by their hips. “I’m saying they could share this bed and then you and I could have the double.” He says cheekily, his tone of voice not matching the innocent expression on his face. Y/n hums slightly, pulling Jungwon to lay his head on their chest. “It’s good this bed is uncomfortable, that way you can’t fall asleep and we don’t get caught.” Y/n says, pressing their lips against Jungwon’s forehead. “Imagine Mr Jeon’s face if he found his precious little president curled up in bed with me.” They add, giggling as Jungwon whines for them to shut up.

“I think he already knows about us.”

“Mr Jeon?”

“Mmhm.”

“Well I’d hope so… he’s not blind.”

“He kinda is though.”

“Jungwon!”

The two continue to talk in hushed whispers throughout the night, careful not to wake Jungwon’s friends who sleep just one bed away. They say time flies when you’re having fun, and it’s not long until the sun begins to rise - shining a gentle glow into the cabin.

“Jungwon~” Y/n calls out, causing the boy to tighten his grip around their waist. “You’ve gotta get back to your cabin, babe.” They add, causing him to groan. He refuses to move, claiming that he just needs 5 more minutes. “You’ll see me again at breakfast.” Y/n laughs, channelling all of their strength to push him off their body. “You’re so mean.” Jungwon pouts, causing Y/n to mirror his expression.

Checking the time, Y/n sees that Jungwon really has to go. “Babe, go.” Y/n pulls Jungwon out of bed, taking him to the door of the cabin (despite his protests). “They’re gonna send a search party in a minute.” Y/n jokes, opening the door and handing Jungwon his slippers. Finally giving up, Jungwon places the slippers on his feet before turning around to give Y/n one more kiss - promising to see them at breakfast.

Y/n watches in adoration as Jungwon trudges back to his cabin, hair a mess and lack of sleep evident in his body language. “You two are so cute.” Jake suddenly comments, causing Y/n to jump slightly. If they’re being honest, they forgot he was even in the room. “Shut up.” Y/n mumbles, going to get ready for the day.

Bahiyyih could work for the FBI. That’s what Y/n has discovered as they go to their 5th hiding spot of the day. Everywhere they go, Bahiyyih finds them. She’s like a beautiful stalker.

Y/n doesn’t even know what Hiyyih wants to talk about - which is the scariest part. They assume it’s something to do with Jungwon, which is exactly why Y/n is hiding. Bahiyyih is a smart woman. If anyone has managed to pick up on Y/n’s change in… feelings… towards Jungwon, it would certainly be her.

The worst part is, they can’t even tell Jungwon why they’re avoiding her. Coming up with reasons as to why they want to stay inside their cabin and play Uno with Jay and Jake rather than hang out with their actual friends is a lot more difficult than it sounds.

“If you make me pick up one more fucking time, I swear to god I will tell Mr Jeon that we are actually dating.” Jake scowls, his four new cards finding a home in the already close to 20 he is holding. “He already believes us, asshole. Had a whole speech about the beauty of self-discovery in line for the bathrooms last night.” Jay rolls his eyes, shuddering slightly at the memory.

“I’m just saying, Jungwon’s literally winning!” Jake complains, turning the group's attention to Jungwon’s two remaining cards. “Yeah well, if I attack Jungwon, Y/n will kill me.” Jay points out. “This is not fair, I’m calling Niki.” Jake pouts, getting out his phone.

“Are they always like this?” Y/n asks, causing Jungwon to nod his head. “You’re lucky Sunghoon isn’t here.” He says, watching as Y/n’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “I’ll explain another time.” He waves off, attention turning to the sudden sound of Niki yelling through the speaker of Jake’s phone.

“Y/N! Why the hell did you invite Jay and Jake Hyung to hang out with you and not me?” Niki whines. “I thought we were besties?” He adds, causing Y/n to laugh slightly. “Learn to drive and then we can be besties.” They say. Niki starts a tangent about how unfair that is but Y/n zones out, realising it’s their turn and placing a card on the deck. Seeing this, Jungwon immediately places down a card as well - mumbling Uno.

“Jay, do something!” Jake screams. Never in their life has Y/n witnessed such an intense game on Uno. Smirking slightly, Jay places a skip a turn - causing Jake to let out a cry. “You’re such a traitor!” He whines before fully turning his attention to Y/n.

“Please, Y/n. I feel like we’ve really bonded over these few days together, you know? And just because you’re dating Jungwon, it doesn’t mean you have to help him win. What do you say, you and I team up and take them down?” He asks, basically pleading at this point. “Sorry Jake.” Y/n says, before placing down the final card Jungwon needs to win. Jake lets out a loud groan, collapsing backwards dramatically as Jungwon places down his final card, laughing at his friend being a sore loser. Y/n hears something from Niki about being a simp but they don’t pay him much mind.

“I will never forget this betrayal.” Jake complains, hanging up on Niki as Jay begins to pack up the cards. “Whatever, losers buy dinner so off you go.” Jungwon says, causing Jay to raise his eyebrows. “Uh… Y/n lost too.” He says, attempting to point out Jungwon’s favouritism. “Let’s just go dude, no use arguing with someone who cheats in uno.” Jake scowls. Jungwon didn’t cheat, but Jake will never accept that.

As the two leave to get dinner, Jungwon wraps his arms around Y/n’s waist - pulling their back against his chest. “You let me win.” He mumbles, pressing a quick kiss against their shoulder. “What do you mean?” Y/n asks with feigned confusion. Jungwon chuckles at this, pressing another kiss against their skin. “You had a pick up 4 and skip a turn. Could’ve easily helped Jay Hyung win.” He points out, turning Y/n around so they are now facing him.

“You cheater.” Y/n teases, pointing their finger against his chest accusingly. “Kinda hard not to look at your cards when you’re basically in my lap the entire game.” Jungwon points out, causing Y/n to gasp. “So now you’re using my love and affection as an excuse to deceive? I thought you were better than that.”

Jungwon’s brain short circuits at the L word… and it appears Y/n did as well. They both chose not to comment, Jungwon opting to pull Y/n in for a kiss rather than confront any feelings. 

“Seeing your cards didn’t help me win.” He mumbles between kisses. “So I don’t think it counts as cheating.” Y/n rolls their eyes at this, pulling on Jungwon’s hair slightly. “I think you’re full of shit.” They whisper, bringing their lips together once more. Jungwon pushes Y/n slightly so they are laying on the bed, crawling over their body and connecting their lips once more.

“You saw my cards too, liar.” Jungwon says, following up his words with a playful bite to Y/n’s shoulder - causing them to let out a surprised squeak. “So we’re both at fault.” Y/n shakes their head, despite the blatant truth that Jungwon is saying. “Cheating is expected of me… you’re too good for that.” Y/n whispers, earning a chuckle from Jungwon. “Guess you still have a bit to learn about me, then.” He replies, slipping his hands under their top to rest at their bare waist and bringing their lips together for yet another kiss.

If Y/n could just kiss Jungwon for the rest of eternity, that would be ideal. Not having to talk - especially about feelings and most importantly, no lying. Just the feeling of lips, hands and fluttering heartbeats as they share their thoughts and feelings through their lips rather than their words.

That’s why, when Jungwon goes to pull away from the kiss, Y/n wastes no time in pulling him back. Their lips press harder against his, pulling his body flush against their own. Because the more time they spend kissing Jungwon, the less they have to think. And thinking right now is the last thing that Y/n wants to do.

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[thewrittennerd]

 Chapter Two

Optimism cautiously measures itself out into tiny flickers through Hallie's bloodstream as she awaits for any kind of verbal response from Jake. She'd learned a long time ago that Jakob Seresin doesn't do things lightly or the easy way.

But then Hallie's hand begins bouncing with an unexpected vibrating movement; causing the blonde to glance down and then back up at Jake, who is now openly crying. “Oh, babe, why are you crying? I thought you'd be happy about becoming a dad again.” Her hands are gentle…warm…loving…and oozing a smidgen of concern when the tips of her thumbs caress back and forth across the bare cap of Jake's knee.

Pushing her hand aside with a firmness she'd never seen him do, Hallie watches as a still very much naked Jake turns and flings himself into the pillows of Hallie's bed. Through his sobs Hallie can swear she hears him saying to her in a muffled tone. “Smettila di comportarti come se ti importasse di quello che penso.” (“Stop acting like you care what I think about it.”)

“Mi interessa, perche ci vogliono due per il tango, darlin',” Hallie says in a soft, gentle, teasing voice; moving to join him on the bed. Slender hands with fingernails covered in a vibrant green polish slide along Jake's rib cage. Every part of him except for the tiniest one wants to push her away. (“I do care, because it takes two to tango, darlin'.”)

“Non trasformarmi nella tua festa die pieta, Hallie,” Jake mutters. (“Don't turn me into your pity party.”)

“Non e un peccato quardo so cosa hai passato,” Hallie murmurs; the tone of her voice losing its teasing and throwing maternal, wife-like comfort into the mix. (“It isn't pity when I know what you've been through.”)

Late October/first of November, 1987  

Baton Rouge, Louisiana 

Twenty-four year old nursing school student Norah Burnett is just getting her arms into her rain jacket when another nurse…her supervisor for Norah's final year…cries out in anguish in a room on the maternity ward's floor down the hall from the nurses' station. As fast as her feet would carry her in he sneakers, Norah rushes to the room where her supervisor is gawking in shock at the empty bed. Going over Norah sees a scrawled and hurriedly written note laying among the covers that had been flung off to one side of the hospital patient issued bed itself.

 It was as if whomever had been in this room wasn't ready to be a mom to the baby in the nursery down the hall.

 Lord help her Norah knows that this precious baby girl without a home or someone to love and care for her would need it … as soon as possible. “I'm going to adopt her,” the brunette resolves he thoughts; turning around to face Laverne, her supervisor.

 “Are you sure that is a wise idea, mon cherie?” Laverne asks. Her Creole-French accent makes it impossible for most patients and their families to understand what she says half the time but Norah did and often spoke in the language they could understand. “Her maman might come back and claim her.”

 Norah uses a gentle touch to push the note into Laverne's aging hands. “She isn't coming back, Laverne,” Norah tells the older nurse. “She's abandoned the baby.”

Present Day – San Diego, California

Jake turns to face Hallie, fresh tears in his eyes and her own. “I don't get it. Why didn't you tell me?”

Hallie sniffles, wiping at her eyes. Jake puts his arms around her; one laying its palm flat against Hallie's back; the other traces slow, gentle circles on the nape of Hallie's neck. “Because I owe so much of my life to Norah. She's my mom in every sense of the word. I did meet her once. It was right after you and I, uh, had that one huge fight.”

2017 – Venice, Italy

Hallie easily dodges around to avoid the strong hands that reach out for her slender waist. “Non toccarmi cazzo!” Hallie shouts, ignoring the fact that she's attracted the attention of people walking along the street where their apartment is located. (“Don't fucking touch me!”)

“Ricardo solo che sono innamorato di te e che il mio cuore non vo da nessura parte, Hallie.” Jake's voice is eggshell soft, on the verge of cracking, as he takes gentle…hesitant…steps back to give Hallie the distance. Easing himself down onto the bottom steps that lead up to the loft. (“Just remember that I'm in love with you and that my heart isn't going anywhere, Hallie.”)

His wife huffs in anger and frustration before turning to storm out, going down two flights of stairs and emerging into the heavy rain that's just started pouring down. Hallie knows Jake will give her a big, long lecture about not taking a rain jacket or umbrella but right now she's feeling the fuming anger continue to build into a boiling point. Stomping down the rain-soaked cobblestone streets of Venice, Hallie heads toward an indoor food market just around the corner.

She is then startled by a woman preparing to leave the market with her various food purchases. When the said woman glances up from digging around for her keys, Hallie gasps sharply in shock.

 It's like looking into half of a mirror with the other half obscured and shadowed.

Turning on her heel Hallie runs all the way back to the apartment, finding Jake still waiting where she'd left him. “Mi dispiace. Mi dispiace tamto.” (“I'm sorry. So, so sorry.”)

“Anche io,” Jake says, standing and pulling Hallie close. He holds Hallie's rain-soaked and slender 5'5 form to him and just helps her let go of all the anger, letting it spew out like lava from a volcano. (“Me too.”)

  Present Day – San Diego

“It was that moment I knew we could be what the other needs during an emotional spell,” Hallie says, voice quiet as she waits to see what Jake will say.

“Very much so,” Jake agrees in the same quiet tone as Hallie; the cog wheels turning in his head with loud, annoying squeaks.

The next morning Jake approaches Maverick before the class they would be co-instructing. Both men fall into professional format, taking a moment to salute each other. “Do you…or did…know Lieutenant Ron Kerner, Captain?”

“Still do,” the older dark-haired pilot replies. “Why? Is there something I can help with?”

From the pocket of his personalized flight suit Jake withdraws a couple of Ziploc bags. One is empty but the other has a strand of Hallie's dark blonde hair. With a pencil on the desk, Jake scoots the empty bag toward Maverick. “I need to get his DNA to do a paternity test. I think…he's Hallie's biological father.”

Maverick's brows furrow in confusion. “Who's her mother?”

“Hannah Metcalf.” Jake's answer is anything but simple as the older pilot grows even more confused at the surname mentioned.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Are you Christian? You usually seem very negative about it with Jake but Nat talks Bible stories and you own a Bible?

There are a few things to unpack in this ask, and I’ll try to touch on them all. 

CW for frank talk about religion/Christianity, child abuse, domestic violence

1. I was raised in a very conservative rural Christian community in which the closest I came to knowing an open atheist before I was in high school was that my best friend’s family didn’t go to church. It was the kind of conservative Protestantism where my friend in high school being Catholic was cause for commentary by my extended family, who were concerned that if I attended church with her I might get into “idol worship.”

I wanted Card Captor Sakura tarot cards once because I thought the art was beautiful and had a family member threaten to burn them.

I took Christianity for granted as the foundation of the world until I watched it used as a cudgel against the people I knew who in some way did not fit a mold that made no sense, and I became aware that the strictures I was living in were subjecting some of the people I loved to utter misery, hatred, and violence. This is before I was able to even conceive of my bisexuality. 

The older I get, the more I see how the American Christianity I grew up with is merely a weapon, twisted and corrupted from the very words that its adherents claim to most believe in, used to excuse and justify bigotry, selfishness, and cruelty. Learning about the history of Christianity used as a weapon during colonization did a lot, too, to make me see that what I read, and learned, in the Bible was not Christianity as most of its adherents understood it.

Would I identify that way now? I don’t know. There is such a weight of negativity, when we have watched those great and pious Christians support tearing children from their families, executing prisoners, justifying all those things they once taught us were unforgivable sins unless you repented, and selling the soul of the national Christian to gain a little power and a justification for their own bigotry.

If you shall know them by their fruits, there are a lot of rotten fruits.

There is a lot of good in Christianity, but it has lost so much ground by catering to the worst and refusing to stand up for those who need love most. The very people we are called to hold our arms out to are turned away for the tiniest, flimsiest, most ridiculous reasons.

The person I have known in my life who most embodies Jesus is an atheist and she is working herself to the bone trying to serve undocumented communities along the border in Texas, despite a consistent risk to her own health from the violence she is routinely threatened with.

2. I don’t really think the comparison of Nat to Jake is a fair one. Jake grew up in an abusive environment, and his experience with church was a congregation that turned away from the obvious signs that he and his mother were being abused. 

Jake experienced being told his father was the ‘head of the household’ and he should be more respectful. He experienced his father’s bullying, violence, and homophobia. He experienced his mother being told that she should try to “steer” his father away from abusing her, or be more faithful, or call on God for help, when the people who could have helped her chose not to.

He saw his father wear the mask of an affable family man, and how everyone chose to believe the mask, because it was easier for them if they did not see a woman and her son who desperately needed a way out.

Jake’s experience was, as a whole, a deeply negative one. And if you think it’s not true to life, I would challenge that you are ignoring a lot of stories of very real people who have experienced and survived this exact thing.

While I have not modeled Jake on a single person, every aspect of his upbringing, right down to being told that if he respected his father as an authority more that the abuse wouldn’t be so bad and being sent back to his mother when he got old enough to fight back and couldn’t be used to control her from afar any longer, is something that happened to someone in real life.

A lot of these things are hidden - but they are still real.

Nat, meanwhile, has a background of some similarity to my own, in that nothing was perfect but the church was not inherently negative in her life, it was simply part of the foundation. She has a lot of joyful memories of her childhood in church.

A lot of us are walking around who may not attend church, at least not regularly, but who were raised on Bible stories that we can still recite word for word even a decade or two later, and who can sing whole songs from Veggie Tales, who could right here and right now burst into “THERE’S A RIVER FLOWING DEEP AND WIDE” at the top of their fucking lungs. You want to hear about Jacob wrestling with God? I can recite parts of it from memory. I can sing “It Is Well With My Soul” right now. How Great Thou Art, all the old hymns, they’re still in my mind and my heart and I still find so many of them beautiful. 

I still think of Bible stories when making comparisons, sometimes, because it’s very much like any memory - your mind pulls on the strongest associations automatically, and our childhoods are foundational. 

So, yeah, Nat thinks about those stories and what is left between the lines, because they’re part of her identity, no matter how she lives, now. She also tells Jake, when following the ambulance to the hospital, “we take the hand that God deals us and we hope for the best”. 

I would argue Nat has retained some faith in God as a force of good, but she has retained a faith that requires her to do the hard work, make the hard choices, and stand up for the ‘least of these’ rather than hoping someone else will, rather than waiting for someone with more power or more authority or more money to do it.

Nat is my view of the ideal Christian - imperfect, prone to mistakes, but her compassion knows no boundaries, and she will stand up for the weak ones, and those who need her, even at the cost of her own freedom and life if necessary - but she doesn’t sit around proclaiming it, she doesn’t need the world to know it, she only needs to show through her actions, be known by her fruits. She fucked up before, sure, but she’ll spend the rest of her life working to undo that failure and how it hurt so many people she could never have understood at the time, with the information she had available to her. If I had to pick a song to define how I see Nat’s view of religion, it would be Dear Me by Nichole Nordeman.

If Jake kept any shred of positivity towards religion, it would be because of living with Natalie Yoder, who actually quietly lives out all the shit that other people just say really loudly while publicly supporting the opposite.

They’re different people, with different life experiences and therefore very different ways of looking at Christianity - and neither one of them is me, not fully. Neither one fully reflects where I am, in my own beliefs. 

I understand them both, but I am not my characters, and I don’t want their mindsets or beliefs to be taken as mirror reflective of my own, because they aren’t.

3. For the record, I own five Bibles. Three were gifts, two I bought myself a long time ago. The archeology Bible I bought myself and I still fucking love it, it’s cool just from a history nerd perspective even. I have never thrown a Bible away in my life, and I don’t get rid of them. 

It’s just a superstition, I guess, but I’ve never been able to. 

When my father died, he had something like seventeen Bibles, many deeply worn and torn. I can’t tell you how we agonized over what to do with them, because throwing away a Bible seemed so deeply wrong. We had to sort of gin each other up to be able to throw any of them out, and we still kept some.

But, yeah. I own a few. 

I think you are likely to discover that a whole lot of us raised very Christian still have Bibles in our houses/apartments, whether we currently practice or not. 

Some of us may only have them for still-religious family members to see, to hold off a series of questions we don’t want to answer. Some of us have them because they’re just part of our lives, like the walls and the kitchen faucet. Some of us still sit down to read them, sometimes, because we still feel moved by the stories that lived in us first.

Some of us keep them for all those reasons and more.

[costcohotdogslut]

DAY 1

“Welcome back viewers! As we just saw before the break, our celebrity housemates have all entered the Big Brother House and have officially started the game. Will personalities clash? Are alliances already forming? Let go to the live feed to find out!” said host Julie Chen.

As the screen shifts to a view of the living room, we see all the castmates lounging around and getting to know one another.

“So this is it everybody, the Big Brother House! I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to get the game started!” said Jake.

Met with some cheers, Miranda decided to speak up. “I know, right? And it’s crazy that we all pretty much know each other already!”

This was true. Seeing as how this was the first season of Celebrity Big Brother in the US, the producers decided to go with a cast of the hottest, youngest, most talked about singers and actors. Apart from Jennifer, who was a milf, and James, who they needed as the sacrificial lamb to go home first. Plus, there was nobody messier than an ex-Disney/Nickelodeon act, so this season was guaranteed to be a disaster (in the best way possible).

“Which is why I’m assuming you’re all going to be fighting over me! Naturally I’m the strongest player here, the best looking, I’ve competed on Dancing With The Stars, and would’ve made the finals if it wasn’t for that stupid bitch from Full House.” James gloated, an awkward silence amongst the housemates as they all just stared at him. “Now, if you’d all make your case as to why I should be in your alliance, I can start making some decisions!”

“Loike… this is litcherally the first time I’ve even heard of you, and you’re acting a little dodgy mate, know what I mean?” Charli responded.

“Huh? Whatever, don’t want some foreign bitch in my alliance anyways. Anyone else?” James asked, only to be met with a chorus of boos.

Truth be told, James knew he was laying the asshole-ishness on a little thick, but he came into the game with a plan; he was going to be the season’s villain! Everybody loved a villain! But judging by the looks he was getting from everyone, not even 20 minutes into the game… he figured that he would lay low for a while until they all cooled off.

“Whatever. If you guys need me, I’ll be in the gym.”

As James awkwardly left the room, leaving the other housemates stunned, Dustin cleared his throat.

“So… who’s up for some cocktails?” He asked, met with enthusiasm, of course, because he was Dustin.

After an hour or two of socializing, naturally everybody began to go their separate ways, heading to the bedrooms to claim their beds and no doubt start strategizing about the game.

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“A twin bed? Are you kidding me??” Sabrina exclaimed, tossing her bag to the side and sitting down with a huff. “If the producers seriously think I’m gonna sleep on this pile of fucking rocks, then they have another thing coming!”

“I hear you bestie… JAKE! DIEGO! Come here now!” Logan yelled out, his current boyfriend and ex-boyfriend running over to his beck and call. “I’m gonna need you two to push all three of our beds together, like, now. I’ll let you two figure out who gets to share with me and who gets the floor. In the meantime, I’m gonna go find Charli and Lorde, we’re all gonna have a group meeting.”

As the two males quickly got to work and the blonde knocked over a bedside table in frustration, they heard Victoria call out from across the room.

“Hey guys, look what I found!” Victoria beamed.

In its own little part of the house was a separate room decked out fully in gold, with a small seating area and a huge California king bed.

“Oh, so this is where my bed is! Thank god I didn’t already start unpacking.” Sabrina said, throwing herself back on the bed and letting out a sigh of relief.

“Uhm, I’m pretty sure this is actually me and Dustin’s bed. I let the producers know about our accommodations before we entered the house.” Victoria replied, causing the blonde to give her a look.

“Err, no it’s okay, I’m fine having my own be-“Dustin said before Victoria put a finger to his lips to shush him.

“Don’t worry honey, I’ll handle it. Sabrina, get off, you’re messing up Dustin’s side of the bed.”

“No! Why do you two get this giant bed to yourselves! That’s not fair!” Sabrina shouted, getting in Victoria’s face.

“Oh, but for whatever reason you think you’re entitled to it?” Victoria shouted back, Kendall trying to pull her aside to stop the fighting.

“Guys, I think this bed might be for me, there’s an outlet next to it and I need somewhere to plug in my CPAP machine.” Lorde said, suddenly appearing in the room alongside them.

“Oh, this room is nice!” Raini said, appearing in the room with Carlos and Max beside her.

Housemates! I see you’ve all found the Master Bedroom. There’s no need to fight over it, as you’ll all have the chance to claim it, so long as you’re the current reigning Head of Household.

“See? There’s no reason for you two to fight over the bedroom after all!” Kendall said, throwing an am around each girl before they shoved him off.

“Stay out of it, Kendall!” They shouted in unison.

“But what about my CPAP machine?” Lorde asked.

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In one bedroom, Logan, Lorde, Sabrina, Charli, Diego, and Jake were all huddled together in a circle.

“Now, I’m sure you can all figure out why we’re together right now.” Logan said, standing up above the others. “You see, I’ve decided that I’m going to take all of you to the final six with me!”

As everyone cheered, Logan cleared his throat. “Jake, could you go stand guard at the door and make sure nobody’s around? We need to talk business. First plan of action, who are we evicting first?”

“I vote Carlos. Physical challenge wise, I think he poses the biggest threat.” Lorde said, with Jake nodding his head in agreement from the door.

“We can vote Carlos first. But if it’s a mental challenge, then I think Raini poses a threat too.” Sabrina said, Charli agreeing with her.

“You both have a point, I guess we’ll just have to see how the first challenge goes.” Logan responded, pacing around the room with his hands behind the back. To the side, Diego sat quietly, a troubled look on his face. “What’s wrong Diego, you look like you don’t agree with us.”

“No, it’s not that Logan, it just that… this alliance… don’t you all think it’s a little obvious? I’m sure the others already expect us to team up, and I feel like they’ll try to pick us off one by one. I don’t know, I feel like we’re just setting ourselves up to be targeted.”

“Gee, Diego, it sounds to me like you don’t want to be in the final six, do you? If you’re just going to sit there and backstab us already, feel free to leave the room!” Logan scowled, pointing an accusatory finger at Diego.

“NO! It’s just that-“ Diego responded before being cut off by Logan.

“Save it. All in favor of voting Diego out of the alliance, say I!” Logan barked, the other four all yelling out a cheerful “I!”.

“Fine. When this alliance backfires, Logan, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Diego said before storming out of the room.

After a brief, awkward silence, Jake spoke up. “Soooo… does that mean we’re the final 5 now?”

Before anybody could answer that, suddenly a loud crash came from the nearby closet, with Jennifer falling out in a tangle of clothing and hangers.

As everybody glared at her, she let out an awkward chuckle. “Okay, so maybe I was eavesdropping on all of… that… but what can I say? I live for drama!”

“Cool. So… would you be interested in joining our alliance and being in the final 6 with us?” Logan asked.

“YES! Oh my god, I’ve been avoiding Kendall all day, I just know he was going to ask me that question any second.” Jennifer exclaimed, being met with open arms by her new alliance mates.

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Meanwhile, in the common room, the rest of the housemates, minus James, Carlos, and Diego, were all gathered together. Max, Aly & AJ, Victoria, and Kendall were all playing charades, with Victoria, his partner, screaming at him for his god-awful impersonation of an mime (why couldn’t he have picked something more obvious, like a toucan?). On the couch sat Raini and Miranda, who were playing scorekeeper for each team.

And in the gym, James and Carlos were both lifting weights, with Carlos being James’s spotter.

“I can’t believe it’s already almost the end of the day, and NOBODY has asked me to be in an alliance with them! Everyone in this house must be a complete fucking moron if they don’t see just how valuable I am to have on their side!” James, said, grunting as he pushed the bar above his chest up and down.

“Uh, yeah.” Carlos responded, half-tempted to let go and let the bar fall on his former bandmate’s chest.

Truth be told, Carlos would rather be anywhere but here. Him and James had only spoken twice since the indefinite hiatus of Big Time Rush, and he was shocked/upset when he saw him walk in the house as a fellow housemate. They had had a bit of bad blood due to… something, that had happened between them back in the apartment.

Carlos wasn’t stupid. Earlier during their workout session, James had asked if he wanted to form an alliance, and he knew it was only because nobody else wanted to be around him. But, before coming onto the show, Carlos had binge watched every season of Big Brother, and if things went as they usually did, there was much more of a focus on physical challenges at the beginning of the show, with the challenges becoming more mental as the show progressed.

So he would be in an alliance with James, at least for the beginning. At least until he could join a stronger one.

“Well, whatever. Looks like it’s just me and you against the house then, bro.” James said, pushing the bar off of him and taking a swig of his water. “So I don’t know about you, but I say we vote that british chick out first. Didn’t like the way she was talking to me earlier.”

“Charli?? Why? She’s not even a threat!” Carlos asked.

“Well then let’s evict Kendall! He’s fucking annoying, and I’m pretty sure he was watching me get dressed to work out.” James responded, Carlos facepalming himself as James clearly had no idea how to strategize.

“Let’s… discuss it when the time comes. Do you mind spotting me?” Carlos said, but before he could say anything else, another figure had entered the room.

“Oh, hey guys… mind if I be in here with you for a bit?” said Diego, also donning his workout attire with a towel draped over his shoulder.

“Uh, yeah, that’s fine.” Carlos responded. He had never met Diego before, but he had certainly heard about him before. When he and Logan had broken up, Diego was the first guy Logan had rebounded with, and from what he had heard through the grapevine, things had gotten pretty serious between them. For whatever reason, they had broken up, seeing as how Logan was dating Jake now (not that Carlos was keeping tabs or anything, Logan’s personal life was just VERY publicized on gossip sites and the tabloids). He was going to question why he wasn’t with the others, as he had been before, but he decided against it, seeing how bothered he had looked when he walked in.

“Nice to see a fellow alpha male in the house. The name’s James.” The taller male said, putting out his hand to shake, which Diego reluctantly took.

“Diego.”

“Well Diego, me and Carlos here were just doing a few reps, care to join?” James said.

And for the next hour, the three of them did, falling into a… somewhat comfortable chit chat. They mostly just talked about fitness regimes, and then outside projects they had worked on (none of the ones James had named off ringing a bell in Diego’s head). Diego, of course, droned on and on about the podcast he does on woodworking, even if the other two didn’t seem as interested. And Carlos talked about life as a now-married family man, and the struggles of managing a career and a billion-dollar enterprise alongside it.

Eventually, the three of them had all tired out, taking the time to catch their breaths.

“Nice work out, man.” Carlos said, James nodding his head in agreement.

“Yeah, we gotta do this more often. You know, I was thinking… three alpha males likes us, dominating the competition? We’d be unstoppable, and nobody would suspect a thing. What do you two say we form an alliance?” James said, the other two taking a second to think it over.

“Yeah… yeah that sounds good actually.” Diego said.

“Me too… but first things first, I think we oughta hit the showers.” Carlos responded.

As the three of them made their way over to the restroom, James stopped dead in his tracks.

“Just so you two know, I’m not gay, so don’t get any ideas in there.”

However, despite his disclaimer, the three of them did end up fucking in the shower, with James in the middle, Diego in the front, and Carlos in the back.

Looks like some of our housemates are getting to know each other pretty well. To see the exclusive footage and catch other behind the scenes clips, make sure to tune into Celebrity Big Brother: After Dark.

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Attention housemates! If you would all make your way to the common area, we are about to begin our first Head of Household competition!

As everybody got situated on the couches, the main screen lit up, with host Julie Chen appearing on the screen.

“Welcome, everybody, to the first Head of Household competition. To start things off, and to commemorate our very first celebrity edition of Big Brother, we’re going to be doing things a bit differently this time. Prior to tonight, we asked viewers to vote for their pre-season favorite housemate, so hopefully you made a good impression in your introduction packages.” Julie said. “The winner of America’s vote will not only be the first Head of Household, they will also be responsible for choosing the first two nominations tonight, with one of you going home. Because we haven’t implemented a Power of Veto just yet, these two nominations will be locked in. Now, is everybody ready?”

“Ready!”

“Perfect. Now, in a landslide vote, America chose their favorite housemate to be… Raini Rodriguez! Congratulations, Raini, as the first Head of Household, tonight’s nominations fall in your hands. Feel free to discuss amongst your housemates, and let us know when you’re ready to nominate.” Julie said.

“Thank you, Julie, and thank you America for choosing me to be the first Head of Household!” Raini said. “So, first off, I guess I just want to say that whatever happens tonight, I hope there’s no hard feelings amongst any of us. We were all chosen to represent the first season for a reason, and I know that it’s going to be a great season. ALL of us are stars, and the sixteen of us are absolutely all within the same caliber.”

“Except for James.” Charli said, causing a VERY loud and hysterical reaction from everybody. Aly & AJ were rolling around on the floor, Miranda was fanning away the tears forming in her eyes, and Jennifer couldn’t stop cackling!

“Guys! Guys! No, I request the floor, guys!” James sputtered out, not expecting for him to suddenly be the laughing stock of the cast. “I’ll defend myself a little bit! No! I’ll defend myself a little bit! Guys! Okay, okay okay okay okay OKAY!”

“BITCH! Sit your ass down and shut the hell up, bitch!” Kendall shouted, standing up and feeling the blood rush to his head as everyone, if it was even more possible, became more hysterical and on the verge of pissing themselves. It was as if he was living a real life episode of drag race, and everybody else respected him and thought he was hilarious! Victoria had actually ended up peeing herself a little from laughing so hard, meanwhile Max was scrambling to take a hit from his inhaler.

Sitting down, still feeling flustered from all the praise, Kendall crossed his legs to hide his very obvious erection, no doubt needing to RUN to the bathroom after the eviction ceremony to take care of his little problem. Seeing how bright red James was, and the superiority complex he felt over the male that he had worshipped all these years… he actually already took care of his problem. Well, one of his problems at least. He’d have to change out of his shorts and do a load of laundry, now.

Once things had somewhat settled down, and James was sitting in his chair, steam practically shooting out of his ears, Raini stood up.

“Okay Julie, I think I’m ready.” Raini said, taking a second to compose herself. “This may not come as much of a shock, as seen by the… reaction, all of us had moments ago, but the first housemate I have to nominate for eviction is… James.”

“Oh fuck this! Are you kidding me?” James said, crossing his arms as he sat back, beyond furious with everybody around him.

“Very well, Raini. James, that means that you are up for eviction and are at risk of being voted out of the house tonight.” Julie said from the screen. “Now, Raini, please tell us who the second person is that you are nominating tonight.”

“Before I say her name, I just want to say that I have absolutely no ill will against this girl. She’s a great person, and a fellow Disney colleague of mine, but I feel like her attitude earlier today wasn’t the greatest. The second person that I am nominating tonight is… Sabrina.”

“WHAT! Is this some fucking joke?” Sabrina exclaimed, as producers told her to sit back down and not cause any more trouble.

“Very well. James, Sabrina, that means the two of you are up for eviction. Before the other housemates make their way to the confessional room, you each have 30 seconds to state your case and explain to the others why you deserve to stay in the Big Brother household. James, you are up first.” Julie said.

Standing up with his hands in his pockets, James was clearly agitated, but did his best to force a fake smile for the others. “Well, what more can I say than that I’m a strong player, a great potential ally, and if you all decide to keep me in the household, I’ll give you guys a shout out on my patreon, maybe even give you a feature on an upcoming song! We can do a vlog together for my Youtube channel! Whatever it is you guys want, I’m open to collaboration.” Sitting back down and still forcing a smile, he definitely felt a lot better about his standing in the competition.

“Thank you, James. Sabrina, you’re up.” Julie said.

“If you vote me, a GIRL, out of the house over a GUY, then that means you’re probably misogynistic.”

…….

“Is that it, Sabrina? You still have twenty seconds to make your case.” Julie asked.

“No, I think I made myself loud a clear.” Sabrina responded.

“Alright then. Housemates, one by one, you will make your way to the confessional room to cast your vote, and then we will announce which celebrity housemate will be leaving us tonight. Going alphabetically, Aly & AJ, you’re up first.” Julie said.

One by one, everybody cast their votes.

Aly & AJ: “We vote James. We didn’t like the language he used to some of the women here in the household, and we think it’s time for him to leave.”

Carlos: “James. I know we’re in an alliance, but I can’t align myself with somebody like him, it will only affect my game.”

Charli: “James.”

Diego: “I’m sorry to say it, but James.”

Dustin: “James.”

Jake: “I wanted to vote for Sabrina because she was being a little mean to me earlier, but I forgot she’s on my alliance, so I have to vote for… James.”

Jennifer: “James.

Kendall: “Well… I was going to vote for Sabrina, but I don’t want people to think I’m a misogynist! Plus I think he saw me earlier watching him undress, and I’m kinda afraid that he might put a pillow over my face while I sleep! So I vote for James! >~<”

Logan: “James. I fucking hate him.”

Lorde: “I vote for James.”

Max: “I thought he was a cool dude at first, but he really showed his true colors tonight, so James.”

Miranda: “I have to vote for James.”

Victoria: “James. But I have a feeling that Sabrina has her eye on Dustin, so I’m definitely watching out for her.”

As the housemates all made their way back to the living room, the camera panned on both James and Sabrina, both looking extremely nervous as they awaited the results.

“Thank you everybody for casting their vote. After tallying the votes, we had a 13-0 unanimous decision… James, I’m sorry, but you have been evicted from the Big Brother House.” Julie announced.

“You know what? FUCK all of you, you’re all a bunch of goddamn losers. I didn’t even need to do this show, you know! And to think my own two allies voted me out too, what a fucking joke.” James exclaimed, the rest of the cast glancing around to see who the two people were that he was referring to.

“And that concludes tonight’s eviction ceremony. James, please make your way to the jury house, and we will see you once more at the finale for the final vote.” Julie said, as James stormed off. “That has been tonight’s episode of Big Brother, tune in tomorrow to see what else our housemates have in store from this. Also, be sure to watch the live feeds on Big Brother: After Dark, and watch behind the scenes clips on BigBrother.com. This has been Julie Chen, thank you, and goodnight.”

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Day 1 Statistics:

Head of Household Wins:

Raini: 1

Current Alliances:

Alliance 1 – Logan, Lorde, Sabrina, Charli, Jake, Jennifer

Evicted Housemates: 16th- James

[amyscascadingtabs]

it’s you and me, there’s nothing like this

hey @cheddar-the-dog!!! i am your writer for the b99 2019 fall fic exchange! i apologise for waiting until the last minute to write this, eheh, but it's here now! i chose your prompt "the season of spooky stuff and one of them hating everything horror related and one being the protector" and took the freedom of incorporating it into this little thing. hope you enjoy! ❤︎

thank you to @b99fandomevents for organizing this :)

happy halloween to you all! i do not and have never really celebrated it, but last year i did go to a halloween theme park and it was AWESOME, and i definitely thought it'd be the kind of thing jake and amy would do together.

read on ao3

2015

The first time Jake had tried to bring Amy to the Halloween theme park, she had started out skeptical about the idea.

“Just because we’re dating now doesn’t mean I like Halloween,” she remarked over breakfast as he suggested his plan for their shared Saturday off. “I still think it's a ridiculous holiday.”

“So… the best kind of holiday.”

She rolled her eyes over the edge of the coffee cup. “Can't you go to this park with Charles?”

“I don’t want to go with Charles! I want to go with my adorable girlfriend, who, by the way, is looking stunning in that outfit.” He pointed to what was definitely his flannel currently being donned by Amy, who had paired it with pajama pants and a fuzzy blanket from his couch wrapped around her shoulders. “Also, does this mean you’re stealing my clothes now?”

“It means your apartment is cold all the time,” she said, but her smirk made him suspect he wasn’t totally wrong, either. “Why is this so important to you, anyway?”

“You’re going to think I’m ridiculous.”

“Try me.”

“Fine,” he hummed, rubbing the nape on his neck and looking down at the table to avoid eye contact. “Because it’s technically a holiday tradition that doesn’t bring up shitty memories, and I don’t have a ton of those. I was thinking it’d be kind of nice to share one with you?” He could feel his cheeks heating as he admitted the truth. In their five months of dating, he’d already had to face more emotional vulnerability than ever before in his life, but it had yet to get easier. “Sorry. It’s, uh, stupid.”

“It’s not stupid.” Her fingers wrapped around his wrist, stroking it until he looked up at her, finding her watching him with a tenderhearted gaze that was still new to him, but never failed to make him feel safe with every fiber of his being. “It’s sweet. And okay. I’ll go with you.”

If he’d been a little bit braver, he could have told her he loved her at this moment, and thinking back at it months later, he would regret that he didn’t.

Instead, he’d simply returned her smile. “Noice. Smort.”

She rolled her eyes at him another time. He sort of found it absolutely endearing.

2019

This year, he’s not even the one to suggest their yearly visit. Amy brings it up all on her own as they’re going to bed on a Friday evening, her yawning wide before scooting closer to him, intertwining their legs and pressing kisses to the back of his neck to gain his attention.

“Do we have any plans for tomorrow, babe?”

“I don’t think so,” he mumbles, closing his eyes and just enjoying the way her lips feel against his neck, the way her hands gently rub patterns on his shoulder blades. “Anything you’re thinking about?”

“I was thinking maybe we should go to that Halloween park,” she says, and it warms his heart to hear her sounding genuinely excited at the thought. “If you want to.”

“Well, I could never say no to the Halloween park.”

“Or to me, I hope, since it’s our yearly tradition.”

“Nah, it’s harder to say no to the park,” he teases her, and she punches him hard in the elbow. “Ow! I was kidding!”

“Don’t you dare,” she laughs, pressing a kiss to the same spot. “It’s a date, then. And my goal for this year is to not get terrified by the haunted houses.”

2016

Jake had missed many things while in witness protection in Florida. His girlfriend first and foremost, but also the Nine-Nine, New York pizza, weather that wasn’t either scorching sun or heavy storms, and the Halloween park. It had been one of the dreams he’d thought about during his worst evenings of homesickness; he and Amy, walking around the overly decorated area while holding hands and looking at all the kids and adults in costumes, pointing out ones they recognized.

(“Look, Jake, that’s a tiny Harry Potter!)

(“Ames! That woman’s dressed like Holly Gennaro from Die Hard!”)

It felt like a dream to actually be back, walking hand in hand much like he’d pictured and standing in line to one of the haunted houses. It felt like home. 

“I still don’t get the point of why you would pay someone to scare you,” Amy mutters, rubbing her arms and jumping up and down on the place to keep herself warm. “The real-life world is plenty terrifying. Climate change. Racism. US Politics. I could go on and on.”

“Because it’s fun, and while the things you mentioned are hella scary, they make for awful costumes,” Jake pointed out, already shrugging off his leather jacket to drape it across her shoulders. “I mean, how would you even dress up as climate change?”

“Don’t show up to the party and claim you’re dressed as the extinction of humans due to our planet becoming inhabitable.” 

“Oooh, that’s actually pretty genius.”

“I know,” she winked. “Let’s go in and pretend to get scared by stuff that isn’t really scary, shall we?”

She’d taken back what she’d said about one minute in. The makeup and costumes of the actors were far more convincing than even Jake had expected, way better than it had been last year, and he hadn’t been able to blame Amy for the way she clutched herself to his arm as they made their way through the building. Her nails had pressed so hard through his shirt they’d almost made marks, but he hadn’t minded it. Getting to be her protector, even if only for a seven-minute walk through an amusement park’s over-budgeted version of a haunted house, felt like a privilege.

2019

She promises him at least another five times before they even get in line that this is the year she won’t get scared. She’s so confident, staring him down every time she repeats it, that eventually, he tells her he believes her. His gut feeling says otherwise, but the smug grin on his wife’s face as he tells her the white lie is cute enough to make the dishonesty worth it.

“Climate change is scarier than ever,” she declares as they step foot into the house, and he chuckles at her. “This has got nothing on it.”

She ends up taking back her self-assured statement a few minutes in for the fifth year in a row. Jake is getting truly curious about what kind of budget the park’s makeup department is working with, and he has to admit there are a few things executed well enough to make him jump. Amy squeezes his arm tightly, letting him lead their way through, and he basks in the glorious sensation of feeling like there are times when he can be her protector, too - god knows she’s good at being his when he needs it. She’s squeezing a little hard, and her nails feel a little sharper than usual, but it’s fine. 

It’s dark inside the building, but he feels her warm breath near his neck and turns around to see what she’s doing only to find someone other than Amy there; an actor with a black, hairy mask over their face that seems to have no concept of personal space whatsoever. Even though it’s what he tends to keep teasing his wife for, he yelps and bolts for the emergency exit, almost tackling a stranger on the way out.

He’s still breathing hard when Amy comes out too, laughing as she throws her arms around him.

“That was awful,” he mumbles as she tries to calm down from the giggling fit. “That was so scary. Where the hell did you go?”

“Where the hell did you go?”

“I thought I was right there with you!”

“I thought I was right there with you!”

“Let’s maybe not go back in there,” he suggests, and she shakes her head.

“Let’s maybe not.”

2017

The year they got engaged, he learned another fact about Amy Santiago - while she may have hated the haunted houses, she was a major fan of the rides. Unfortunately, this included the rides even Jake was hesitant to go on, like the attractions that went way too high up in the air and dropped way too low, way too fast. 

“Come on,” she had encouraged him, shooting him that smile that never failed to make his knees weak and pulling his arm towards the line. “It’s perfectly safe. I’ll let you hold my hand.”

“I can hold your hand on the ground,” he pouted. “I much prefer that option.”

“Come on, babe! Just one time!”

“I hate you,” he’d told her as they stood in line, repeating it as they were being strapped to their seats, making her roll her eyes both times. “I love you, but right now, I hate you.”

He’d been able to see more of Coney Island from the top of the ride than he’d ever wanted to see in his life, and then, just as he was about to freak out about the height, the ride dropped. 

The scream that ripped from his throat shocked even himself, because it was a sound of pure and utter panic, but amid that panic, he’d found beauty.

He was alive. He was a free man. He could be outside to do these kinds of things with his soon-to-be fiancée, instead of being locked in for fifteen years arrested for a bank robbery he didn’t commit, and it felt beautiful.

“Did you enjoy it?” Amy asked as they walked away from the attraction, his legs a lot shakier than her, but her hair looking way crazier than his did.

He’d grinned before cupping her face, bringing their lips together. “Weirdly, I kind of did.”

2019

Every year, he hopes she won't insist on going on the rides, that she's changed her mind just this time. Every year, he's dead wrong as she takes his hand to steer him decisively toward the ride he's learned to detest with his entire being.

“You don't think I could skip it for just one year?” He asks, gulping as he looks up at the massive construction, but Amy shakes her head.

“Tradition is tradition, babe. We’re doing this.”

“Do you have to get revenge on me every damn year just because I drag you through the haunted house?”

“You got it.”

“You are a terrible person,” he sighs, but it's impossible to keep his tone serious.

She kisses his cheek. “All is fair in Halloween theme parks, love, and war.”

“Is that the saying, really?”

Every year, he thinks he's gotten used to the horrifying attraction. Every year, he finds out he's wrong. There's no getting used to the relentless shakiness as they're taken closer and closer to the top, the tension when they are there knowing they're about to fall any second, the spine-chilling drop in his stomach when they fall.

He survives it, and he supposes every experience helps him understand why this is something people like his wife will do for fun. He feels alive, almost frightfully so, his heart pounding and breath shaking but his instincts so on edge. He feels real, and although it's hard to stand on his legs when the ride finally finishes, it's worth it when he gets to turn to Amy and find her looking genuinely impressed by him. She looks a little pale after this year’s ride, asking him if they can sit down for a few minutes afterward, but when he asks if she enjoyed it, there's no hiding her beaming grin.

2018

The year they had gotten married, they'd competed in the pentathlon games. They’d tried a few of them before, but this was the year they dialed their competitiveness up to the max, offering each other no leniency as they ran between the different game stations. Rifle shooting had been the most even, electronic darts the least - Amy claimed he’d tried to sabotage her by tickling her shortly before, making it difficult to keep her arm still - and their opinions on whether or not Jake’s moving basketball net was rigged to his disadvantage differed drastically, but through it all, they’d been enjoying themselves. It might not have seen that way to everyone else judged from their bickering and borderline unserious threats, but to Jake and Amy, this was love.

This was going back to their old rival days for a short while, to the memories of constantly trying to beat and outdo one another, before returning to reality and realizing they’d already won the greatest prize of all; each other.

(The giant stuffed frog that Jake had won at one of the stations, handed to him by a mysteriously silent employee with the name tag ‘Craig’, was a close second. It croaked if you pressed a button.)

Counting all the results together, the final conclusion was that Amy had won, and Jake laughed heartily at her as she did as expressive of a dork dance as he’d ever seen her do in public. After all, it was hard for him to feel much like a loser in anything as long as she was around. 

“Loser buys hot cider and cinnamon donuts?” She’d suggested with a kiss to the tip of his nose.

“We share bank accounts, babe.”

“It’s the gesture that counts,” she’d insisted then, and there’d been no way for him to decline.

2019

His wife is unstoppable this year as well. Jake ends up doing far worse in several stations than he knows he’s capable of, the competitiveness dialing down as he realizes there’s no way for him to win now. Instead, Jake simply watches Amy in her element. 

She’s so focused, so precise, so thought-through when she’s confident in her abilities. She’ll tuck her hair behind her ears like even a single strand could be the thing to sabotage her chances, bite her lip, stare down the task or target and tackle it right on, instinctive and calculated at the same time. 

It is moments like these when he struggles to believe there was ever a time when he wasn’t with her, a time when he wasn’t blessed with the opportunity to get to watch her like this, without any sense of guilt or inadequacy. 

She’s stellar, a piece of art much like the paintings she studied for several years at university, and he gets to live his life with her.

He gets to go to Halloween theme parks year after year with her as company. He gets to have her clutching on tight to his arm through haunted houses. He gets to sit next to her as they go on rides he thinks no sane human should be willingly exposing themselves to. He gets to be with her and hers all at once, and every year, every month, and every day, it keeps getting better.

“Did you even try to win this year?” She asks, curiously, as they’re walking towards the donut stand.

“Nah,” he shrugs. “I already won.”

“... Wow. Marriage really did a number on you when it comes to cheesiness, huh?” Her voice is teasing, but the little laugh, the tenderness in her eyes, is not.

“I have my days,” he says, placing an arm around her shoulders. “Winner buys the donuts this year?”

“A for effort, but they’re still on you.”

“Two hot ciders, two cinnamon donuts, and one box of donut holes, please.”

“Actually,” Amy pipes up as the teenaged cashier punches in their order. “I think I’ll have a hot chocolate instead.”

“Changing a winning concept,” Jake comments. “That’s bold of you.”

“Creating a new one,” she corrects him. “Gotta keep it interesting.”

~

As much as he loves all the crazy things they get up to on their visits, laughing their way through the day, Jake has to admit he loves the final part most. They’re sitting close together on a bench overlooking the water, drinking their cider and hot chocolate and enjoying the sugary baked goods while they chat about the day. It’s stress-free and allover wonderful, and it’s hard, if not unfeasible, to picture how anything could ever be better than this. 

“This is the best tradition,” Amy says, leaning her head on his shoulder as they watch parents chase their toddlers along the water’s edge, couples walking together and friend groups trying to take pictures in the half-darkness. “I hope we keep this up.”

“We’re definitely keeping it up,” he assures her. “This year was amazing. I already can’t wait for next time.”

She smiles, stroking his hair before beginning to ruffle through her right pocket for something. “Actually, next time might be a bit different.”

“What do you mean? We’re not changing this tradition, are we?”

“No,” she laughs. “We’re not. We’re just… renewing it to keep it interesting. Close your eyes.”

He does, and she instructs him to hold out his hand, so he does that, too.

She places a thin, maybe fifteen or so centimeters long, little plastic stick in his outstretched hand, and his fingers wrap around it.

“Okay, you can open them now.” 

“What’s this?”

“You might wanna read the display,” she tells him, and he unfurls his fingers to reveal a digital square and a single, life-changing word.

It takes a moment to sink in.

“No way,” he says when he can tear his eyes away from it, looking up at his wife to find her with what he hopes are happy tears in her eyes. “Are you - is this real, Ames?”

“I have like seven more of them at home,” she blushes. “So yeah, I think so.”

“Oh my god.”

“I know.”

“How long have you kept this a secret?”

“I took the first one three days ago,” she admits. “I wanted to tell you the second I found out, but then I remembered this, and I thought… maybe it could be another nice memory for the tradition.”

“It is.” He wraps her in a tight hug, pressing soft kisses to every inch of her face he can reach. “This is… wow. Just, wow.”

“That’s a pretty good summary of it.”

“This is the best visit so far,” he whispers in her ear as she takes the positive pregnancy test from him to put back. “This is the best visit ever.”

Life with Amy, and their yearly visits to the Halloween theme park, truly did have one thing in common; they both just kept getting better.

[doof-doofblog]

EastEnders Iconic Episodes:- Max & Stacey

Tuesday 4th August 2020

Good evening everyone! Hope you've all had a good week! I'm back again tonight with another fantastic memorable iconic episode, last night's episode was the 2007 Christmas episode revolving around the Branning family and the affair of Max & Stacey is finally revealed to everyone, in such dramatic nail-biting circumstances! I think this episode will go down in history as one of the most memorable Christmas episodes. This episode was originally aired 25th December 2007!

For those of you who watched Secrets Of The Square on Monday evening, you will know that Jake Wood who plays Max Branning admitted that the Max and Stacey affair was only meant to last 6 months, but the script writers decided to extend the story and make it the Christmas story-line, thank God they did as, to this day, it has remained one of the most iconic and memorable EastEnders moments. 

Wow! So it looks as if the episode has started right at the moment where the affair has been revealed by the video recording. The video has been put into the TV and all the family gathered around have seen and heard everything that has been recorded and heard the words out of Max and Stacey's mouth. Max is stood there looking guilty as sin, dressed as Santa, as his poor wife Tanya and all his children hear about him actually falling in love with Stacey. Telling everyone it's a joke and not to hear a word of it ... although everyone knows that what they're seeing is true! He quickly grabs the remote and stops the video before anything else can be shown, even though that they have seen and heard enough to believe it's true. Bradley is seen seething with rage, Lauren leaves the room clearly fearing that she is going to be the one to blame as it was supposed to be a gift from her to Stacey and Bradley, as you see, before she leaves the room Stacey looks over to her as if to say "What have you recorded?" but obviously, poor Lauren had no idea. 

Max is seriously trying to worm his way out of it, desperately trying to convince them all it was a joke, even looking to Stacey for backup ... looking back now, it's ridiculous for Max to even say that Stacey was going to show Bradley on their honeymoon! Not a very good cover up story! But Tanya knows something isn't right and she's eager for the tape to carry on, she states the fact that the video clearly shows them snogging. Stacey can't even bare to say a word, tears slowly pouring down her cheeks as she realises what has been uncovered, Max is shouting at her, demanding her to tell them all it's a joke. She looks up at Bradley and gently says the words "I'm sorry!" ... that's all she could muster.  Bradley nods his head, knowing that what has been revealed is true, he lashes out at Max - "I'll kill you! I'll kill you, Dad!" - Max goes flying, the Christmas tree goes flying, Jack has to hold Bradley back and Tanya is just distraught, she needs to be away from everyone and leaves the room! 

This whole reveal is the moment where everything breaks down for the Branning family. I do feel for Stacey in a way, because just because of some stupid mistake, she - in a way - is to blame for the breakdown of the Branning family. She was the one who caused them to fall apart, of course Max had his part to play, I guess you could say, if he never cheated on Tanya, none of the issues with the Brannings would've never happened - Lauren's alcoholism, Abi's death, the break down of Max and Tanya to name but a few. The other devastating thing also is how much Abi doted on her Dad, this was most likely, the first time she had ever seen him in a terrible light, where he had done something extremely wrong. Bradley rushes away to let off some steam, little Abi is left watching from the top of the stairs, she asks her Dad, "Do you love Stacey now?" Max completely rubs it off and explains how much he loves her and her siblings and her Mum, he tells her to go upstairs to make sure Lauren is okay and she sweetly wipes away a tear from her face and smiles. It makes me sad that all Abi wanted was to have her family together, forever! She was such a sweet soul! 

Jean is also a sweet soul in this too, sat there with her Christmas hat on from a Christmas cracker, Charlie tells her that they had all leave and she ever so politely says "We can't, we're guests!" She's unsure as to whether what she has seen is real or not, she asks Stacey for reassurance and all she can do is tell her Mum to go home!  Jack is out looking for Bradley, only to find him throwing up in the square, he tries to explain to him that what he's seen could be wrong, it might not be what he thinks it means. Tanya is all over the place, not wanting to be anywhere near Max, she finds Lauren in her bedroom and asks if it was a joke, poor Lauren doesn't know what to say! She has no idea whether what she found was real or not, all she knows is that her Dad told her he loved her Mum. Tanya consoles her daughter and explains it wasn't her fault, she leaves both Abi and Lauren together before she confront them.

That's when it all kicks off, the acting between Jo Joyner and Lacey Turner is brilliant in this scene! Tanya throwing insults at Stacey as she weeps and tries to explain that it meant nothing as was just a horrible fling. Tanya lashes a good slap on Stacey's face, she throws both Max and Stacey out of her house. Stacey begs Sean to stay behind and explain that she's sorry and that she never meant to hurt anyone, as she leaves Sean listens to the living room door and can hear the tape being played again - poor Tanya torturing herself hearing the words a second time as her eyes fill with tears. I have to say for everyone involved in this story, the acting is fantastic! Jo Joyner, Lacey Turner, Jake Wood, Charlie Clements - everyone! The acting and the writing is what makes it so so epic! I can't believe that this Christmas is over 10 years old, it's amazing how moments like this live on in a soap like EastEnders, it's truly an EastEnders classic that made everyone's toes curl. 

It's amazing how an affair can affect so many lives, even Dot is utterly devastated for her grandson, Bradley. If i'm not mistaken, it took a bit of a while for Dot to forgive Stacey for what she had done. I'm a little bit amazed as to why Sean is still there at Tanya's when you'd think he'd need to be there for Stacey more than anyone at that moment in time. I mean, okay, Stacey asked him to stay and explain but he's been left to console Tanya also. She collapses in tears in his arms, asking desperately "What am I going to do?" I guess, in a way of making herself feel better, she starts to kiss Sean, but even he backs away and explains that she is not thinking straight and it'll only make things worse. He tells her calmly that he'll look after her, but she scoffs and tells him leave, she is left in her house with her children upstairs as baby Oscar cries. Meanwhile Jack has taken Bradley to the Vic to get a drink down him to help him consume the information he's been given. Another fantastic scene between Scott Maslen and Jake Wood unravels as Max goes to find Bradley, only to see that Jack found him first. Jack is trying to get his brother to do what's right and acknowledge he's made a huge mistake and he should be looking after his son, Max can't seem to grasp it as he keeps calling his brother "Golden Boy!" he only goes quiet when Jack shouts at him "I'm trying to help you! Whether you like it or not, i'm brother and i'm trying to help you!" He softly explains that Bradley is in a very bad place and he needs to tread lightly if he wants to try and explain to his son and continue to have a bond with him. 

I feel sorry for Bradley also in this episode, he was such a lovely, lovely character. He was one of my favourites when he was in the soap. Bradley and Stacey, for me, were another one of EastEnders iconic couples, it was as if they were meant to be together. Regardless of how many rocks in the road they hit, they would always come back together. When Max finds him in the Vic, drowning his sorrows, it's horrible to watch as he tries to pull away from his father, not wanting to hear a word he has to say. Unfortunately he pulls away too quick and loses his balance and falls, knocking a load of drinks off the bar. Of course, the locals have no idea what's going on, Phil makes a snide dig at him saying he can't hold his booze! Peggy politely asks Max to take him, but then Bradley makes a stand suggesting everyone thinks he's a joke ... which couldn't be further from the truth! He shows the picture of Stacey in his key-ring and claims her to be a slut! Another tremendous moment on the Square is next, when Max is chasing Bradley down the street, them shouting at each other, Bradley trying to get away from his Dad, not willing to hear a word he says! Max is getting incredibly frustrated as he tries to explain himself without letting a word out, he slams onto to car bonnet which causes the alarm to blare. Bradley trips as he goes up toward his front steps, only to then turn and give his Dad a smack in the mouth as he goes to help him up. Max is refusing to give up as he follows Bradley into his apartment, Bradley still inconsolable as he face drips with tears. 

Oh gosh I remember!!! Tanya is left in her house with her children, only the sound of baby Oscar crying can be heard. Her eyes smudged with mascara, she goes into the draw and finds a tub of pills and spills them out onto the floor. I remember seeing this and thinking, "She's not going to top herself, is she?!" If Abi hadn't of walked in at the moment, would Tanya have gone ahead and perhaps maybe try to commit suicide? Who knows? Abi luckily stops her in her tracks before she can swallow any, she soon realises she's making a mistake. She demands her children to pack a bag as she's preparing for them to leave.  Poor Abi, no wonder ended up with some troubles, a broken family, watching her brother die after falling from the Queen Vic roof, watching her Dad slowly recover after being ran over by her sister, almost catching her Mum take an overdose of pills, then having to cope with her sister's alcohol addiction. It didn't hit me until now how much little Abi had been through during her life on the Square. Such a small, yet fantastic little actress ... we watched her grow and bloom on the Square until she sadly passed, near the end its true she did have her demons, but to be honest, wasn't it all about to happen at some point? Didn't we see it coming after everything she had been through? It all makes perfect sense to me now! Lorna Fitzgerald was brilliant as Abi Branning, i'd love to have her back on the Square, still makes me sad to this day that they killed her off. Plus it also saddens me that Max has had two children die of the same circumstances - by falling off the Queen Vic roof! Madness isn't it?! 

Back at Bradley's apartment, Max is finally getting his chance to explain ... even though it's making Bradley sick to his stomach how his Dad could betray him in such a way to sleep with his wife! Wow! Am I right in thinking that the whole Max and Stacey affair lasted a whole year? As in this conversation, Max is explaining that the Christmas before, Stacey came onto him - even when Bradley was thinking about giving it another go with her. It's amazing to think that they had been able to drag this story on for a whole year, perhaps maybe longer! Max is doing everything he can to apologise to his son, without saying the word "Sorry" ... he explains that their fling started before he and Stacey got back together, and when they eventually did she chose Bradley. I love how in this scene, both men are teary - have runny noses, it makes it all feel incredibly real! But that's what makes it so fantastic and so memorable, the reveal, the fights, the aftermath! Max even saying to his son not to give up on his wife, because she loves him and she has a good heart, everything that Bradley knows to be true! Even though he knows Stacey loves him, Bradley can't bare to even be around his Dad right now, even saying to him that he means nothing to him! He's ripped his life apart twice, once as a young boy and now as an adult. Max tries to persuade him to give Stacey another chance, but Bradley just tells him to leave. Meanwhile, unbeknown to Max, Tanya has packed her things - along with Lauren and Abi - and is preparing to leave the Square and Max for good. As he leaves Bradley's apartment he bumps into Stacey, he tells her that he tried his best and it's basically now her turn to have a talk with her husband. They cross each other's path and carry on to each of their spouses, Max gets home to find his daughters waiting at the bottom of the stairs with their luggage and he goes to find Tanya upstairs. 

Meanwhile, Stacey is finally coming face to face with Bradley since the beginning of the episode where she told him she was sorry.  Back at Max and Tanya's, Max finds Tanya with suitcase ready to leave the Square, she tells him that she's leaving him with the kids - once again, raised voices are heard and again, it's young Abi who witnesses her parents fighting, she runs downstairs to be with Lauren and as Max tries to stop Tanya from leaving, he grabs hold of her bags and tugs at them, begging her not to leave, also causing  Tanya to lose her balance and fall backwards down the stairs and end up in a heap on the floor at the bottom of the stairs, much to the horror of their daughters. 

If I'm right in thinking the episode which follows this one, is just as epic! This Christmas episode was basically the start of where everything went wrong for Max and his family, it caused the break down of his marriage, which has lead on to many flings with other Walford women. I truly believe that Tanya will always be the one for Max, she always has and always will be. She was the one who he had children with, to my knowledge, Max has had no other children with anyone else, considering the amount of women he has slept with! Tanya is the only mother of his children, and I believe that will be the only reason he will hold a light for her. It's the same with Stacey and Bradley, much to the sadness of Bradley's tragic death, I truly believe that Stacey won't love anyone as much as she loved Bradley, I feel that they will always be soulmates. 

I've loved re-watching all these epic iconic EastEnders episodes, I'm sure you'll agree they have all been brilliant and very much deserve to be in the list of iconic episodes. I'm not too sure what the next iconic episode will be, but i'm very much looking forward to finding out! I hope you've all enjoyed reading my blog! I can't wait for the soap to be on our screens again very soon! Look after yourself folks and I'll be back again with another post very soon! xXx  

[yandere-dbh-imagines-blog]

Breakup [Peter Parker]

(A/n): Another fic for a Yandere Peter Parker, cuz I love this boi. A day late, please forgive me. Hope y’all like it tho!

No one requested this per se but I love Marvel’s Spiderman (2018) and Peter Parker too much to not do more with his character.

Yandere Peter Parker x reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warning: Yandere - dark themes

Peter winces as he enters his apartment with a limp to his walk. His last fight with Mister Negative’s henchmen left him sore and wounded, but he knew it wasn’t anything that wouldn’t heal. Crime-fighting works up quite the appetite as it turns out, Peter searching the fridge for some celebratory leftover pizza. 

Smiling in victory, he swiped the last remaining slice, nudging the fridge door closed with his foot as he chowed down on the delicious pizza. Falling flat on his bed, he checked his Twitter feed, finding his earlier brawl downtown to be trending. Scrolling through endless amounts of comments, his attention was diverted as a text message from you popped up on his phone.

[Y/n] 

Hey, Peter. You busy? I need to talk to you

Setting his pizza to the side for the moment, Peter quickly texted back.

Peter

No, I’m free. I’ll swing by

Suiting up, Peter finished the last bite of his pizza before pulling on his mask and launching himself from his apartment window. Arriving at your apartment within 15 minutes, Peter slipped in through a window. Taking off his mask, he found you standing in front of him, quirking your eyebrows as you teased him, “I don’t know if you heard of it, but there is something called a door.”

Snickering at your sarcasm, Peter jokes, “Pssh, doors are overrated.”

The two of you smiled at one another before you cast your eyes to the floor with a somber expression upon your face. Peter immediately noticed the change in your mood and went to comfort you, directing you to sit on the couch nearby. 

Sitting next to you with his arms draped over your shoulders, he asked worriedly, “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” When his only response from you was a shake of your head, Peter added, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

When you turned towards him, facing him with a look of remorse as tears pooled in your eyes, Peter felt as if his stomach was being tied into knots. After taking a deep breath, your voice low and sorrowful as you confess, “I love you, Peter - I really do, but I don’t think I can do this anymore...” You trailed off, unable to continue speaking as your throat constricted as you felt like you were on the verge of crying. 

Meanwhile, Peter was lost in his thoughts as he heard those words drift from your mouth. Were you breaking up with him? No, you couldn’t be. Right? Blinking rapidly, Peter released a shaky exhale as he stammered, “What - I don’t understand...W-What are you trying to say, [Y/n]?”

Though part of him knew exactly what it was you were trying to say, he wanted - no, he needed to hear those words from your mouth. You abruptly stood up, facing away from Peter as tears streaked down your face as you reluctantly admitted, “Peter, this relationship between us isn’t working out.” Gaining the confidence to face him, you continued, “I want to break up.”

At that, Peter averted his gaze from yours, covering his mouth as he was racked with grief. After a short silence between the two of you, Peter stood, shaking his head as he got to his feet. He looked at you with such a wounded gaze, you easily catching the build up of tears in his eyes. Shaking his head again, he approached you and grabbed you by the shoulders. Peter bit into his lip before he plead, “Please, [Y/n], tell me you don’t mean this. Please jus-” 

Cutting him off, you shook your head in response to his claims, apologizing to Peter, “I’m sorry, Pete. I’m so sorry. I-I don’t want to do th-”

“Then don’t.”, Peter urged, his eyes begging you to reconsider your decision.

Angered, you snapped, “You think it’s that easy? You think I want to do this? Because I don’t. I mean, I thought I had what it took to be your girlfriend - Spider-Man’s girlfriend, but I don’t.”, breaking down, you sobbed, “Every time I hear about some dangerous villain wreaking havoc or some attack somewhere, I know that you’ll be right in the middle of it, risking your life. I just...I can’t bear to lose you anymore, Pete.”

Peter tried to speak once more but you shushed him with a tight hug, “I love you, Peter. I always will, but please don’t make this any harder. Just go.”

With tears now falling freely from his eyes, he nodded, leaving your apartment without a single word.

In the few weeks that come afterward, Peter is still in denial of your breakup,  leaving you many text messages and voicemails - all of which go unread,  begging you for a second chance until you blocked his number.

Peter’s furious when he realizes that you’ve blocked his number, throwing his phone across the room in anger. Did your relationship really mean that little to you - did he mean that little to you?? All those years spent together, beautiful memories the two of you created and shared, all of that was to be forgotten just like that?

Maybe the average guy would have understood and moved on, but then again Peter’s not the average guy. He couldn’t let you just slip out from under his fingers that easily. So, Peter takes to stalking your social media account to see everything going on in your life seeing as he’s been cut from it. 

And while you’re unaware of it, Peter is always close by. Whether it’s when you’re out with friends or running errands by yourself, he’s always keeping a close eye on you. He could be close and amongst the crowd of faces or watching you from afar from rooftops.

You’ll often feel the weight of his gaze burning holes into the back of your hear throughout the day; however, when you can find no one in sight, you chalk it up to your imagination.

Peter also swings by your apartment for short visits, bugging the apartment so that he could both hear and see you 24/7. And yes, Peter knows it might be a little bit creepy and may be illegal, but he’s not exactly in the right mind to care about those things, at least not when it concerns you.

Months pass and it only gets worse, Peter’s unable to get you out of his mind no matter how hard he tries. Watching you from a distance no longer works for him like it used to. No, Peter needs to have you by his side like you once were. He couldn’t stand for anything less. 

His unhealthy obsession with you begins to take a toll on him and there is a noticeable change to Peter’s personality. He’s less productive in his work with Dr. Octavius, less passionate when helping May around the center, and unable to focus on anything unless it happened to involve you in some way.

However, what finally drives Peter off the deep end is when he recognizes you from across the street, sitting outside a bistro with your hands caressed by another man’s.

Had your relationship meant so little to you that you had already moved on?

The thought of that spent Peter’s world spiraling down. Deciding to intrude on your romantic date, he pretended as if he had just so happened to be passing by when he spotted the two of you, Peter calling out in surprise, “[Y/n], is that you??”

His voice seemed to startle both you and the man who sat across from you as you turned to face Peter with a look of shock in your eyes. Standing up from your table, you seemed hesitant to greet him as you laughed nervously, “Oh, hey Pete. I, um, I didn’t expect to see you here.” You said, smiling awkwardly. 

Feigning innocence, Peter replied smoothly, “Oh yeah, I was just you know, out running some errands for Aunt May.”

After an awkward silence, you announced, “Well, if you don’t mind Peter, I’m kinda in the middle of something here.”, gesturing to your date for the evening.

Peter once again acted surprised, directing his attention to your date, “Oh. I-I didn’t know.” Reaching across the table, he shook the man’s hand as he introduced himself, “I’m Peter, by the way. You?”

The man gave Peter a smile before replying, “Jake...So, how exactly do you know [Y/n]?”

“Oh, she didn’t tell you? I’m her ex.” That remark earned Peter a sharp jab to the ribs courtesy of your elbow.

Jake seemed to grow uncomfortable with Peter’s comment, shifting in his seat. Obviously uneasy, Jake sat up from his chair, saying, “Listen, I had a great time but I’ve gotta get going now. Call me later, ‘kay?”

With your date for the evening now gone, you turned to Peter, shooting him a glare. Letting out a huff of frustration, you turned your ire towards Peter as you scoffed, “So, you just so happened to be in the neighborhood, huh?” 

Before Peter could reply, you had turned your back to him, leaving him to his thoughts. Staring longingly at your figure in the distance, Peter released a disheartened sigh before turning towards the direction where your date had gone. Peter knew he couldn’t have gotten too far, setting off to find him and have a ‘little chat’ with the man.

Peter was deadset on calling you his again one day, one way or another. But for now, if he can’t have you, no one can.

Tagging: @mywigglybaby & @wolfmothar

If you’d like to be tagged for any/all characters or specific requests, please just message me and I will gladly add you! 

[scgdoeswhat]

Lifetime #14: A Thin Line - Jake x Cris

Summary: It’s a thin line between love and hate. With 2,139 lifetimes on La Huerta, not every go-round was roses for Jake and Cris. Lifetimes AU.

Rating: NSFW

Words: 1303

Author’s Notes: I’ve had this idea of playing with the other 2,138 lifetimes on the island for a while! Initially a drabble prompted by @brightpinkpeppercorn for “A kiss to shut them up,” it turned into smut, because it’s me. Sorry this took forever and I hope you like it! Jake doesn’t belong to me (unfortunately), but the story does. No Beta used.

Sorry if the “Read More” link isn’t working. It’s Tumblr’s fault, not mine!

Tag List: @brightpinkpeppercorn @mysteli @indiacater @xo-endlessmayhem-xo @hellomynameisdeviblaire @sophie-summer @daniela2510 @endlessly-searching-for-you @princessstellaris @mechaspirit @choicesyouplayandmore @itsagoodluckkiss

Please let me know if you want to be tagged/removed on future fics. Thank you!

"Diego, I can't stand that pompous ass!" Cris fumed, pacing the length of the jungle suite. "He thinks he has all the answers and knows everything when it's very clear he knows jack shit!"

Diego sat on the couch, a nervous look on his face. He had never seen his best friend worked up as much as she was at this moment. His eyebrows shot up in surprise as his gaze darted behind Cris.

"You know, Princess, if you're going to wail on someone, you might want to make sure your door's closed next time," Jake leaned against the door jamb, a smirk on his lips. Anger laced his eyes as he glared at her.

With a roll of her eyes, she turned to face the pilot, placing a hand on her hip. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?"

"Too many to count, Princess.”

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to keep her composure. It didn’t help. Reopening them, venomous daggers flew as she glowered at him. "Why don't you get out of my room and go fuck yourself."

Diego quickly made his way to the exit. "I’m – a – just going to... please don't kill each other!" He ran out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Jake marched over to Cris, until they faced each other with no space for a breath between them. "Go fuck myself?" He seethed.

Cris raised her chin defiantly. "You heard me. Go. Fuck. Yourself."

She tried to ignore the heat coming off him, instead willing herself to not back down from his hardened stare. From this proximity, she noticed the darkening of the blue in his eyes. Her tongue quickly darted out, moistening her dry lips.

The minute movement caught Jake's attention, his glare flicking from her eyes to her mouth and back again. When he met Cris' eyes once more, there was another emotion coursing through him: desire.

Her mouth parted slightly as she recognized it. Sure, she initially told Diego about her interest in Jake – if he wasn't such a royal ass. They stayed motionless for a moment more before her eyebrows raised in shock.

Jake grabbed both sides of her face as he leaned forward and kissed her hard. Her eyes fluttered closed as he deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue inside, tangling with hers. She moaned into his mouth, grabbing handfuls of his black t-shirt, before pulling back. She looked at him, a dazed expression reflected on her face.

"Jake, what're you –”

He cut her off with a kiss even more passionate than before, his desire and longing poured into it. Her knees nearly buckled as she felt herself melt into his embrace. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she tangled her fingers in his shaggy hair, gently pulling it.

Jake groaned, the sound reverberating to her core. Cris pressed further onto him, roughly yanking his green bomber jacket down his arms before letting it drop. An animalistic passion awakened inside of him as he pulled off her red tank top; a growl left his throat when he saw she was not wearing a bra. He bent down, taking a breast in his mouth, raking his teeth over her nipple.

They stumbled onto the bed, their clothes disappearing along the way. She wrapped a leg around him, pulling his body on top of hers as he ravaged her mouth with his. The feeling of his calloused hands was driving her mad as he squeezed her breasts before taking a hardened bud between his lips. She arched into him as he found her soaking core, sinking his fingers past her lips.

"God, you’re so wet, Princess. You like this, don't you?" With a feral glint in his eye, he watched her closely, "You like it when I fuck you with my fingers."

Her legs spread further apart in response, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of an answer.

"If that's how you're going to play it, fine. But I'm gonna fuck you so hard you're going to be screaming my name.”

"Then put your money where your mouth is, Top Gun, "she challenged, her breath shallow with indignation still evident in her tone.

A cocky grin crossed his face as he ducked down between her thighs, throwing her legs over his strong shoulders. He licked his fingers before plunging two digits into her wet heat, followed by his unrelenting tongue on her clit.

Cris cried out in pleasure as he sucked on her nub, her hands tangling in his hair as she moved against his face. All thoughts were lost as his fingers curled in her, nearly bringing her to the brink.

He pulled away and started stroking his hard dick. "I don't think so, Princess. Not until I hear you say it."

"Goddammit, Jake,” she panted, a sheen of sweat covering her entire body. "I want you to fuck me."

The next thing she knew, he flipped her over, raising her hips until she was on all fours as he positioned himself behind her dripping sex. A sigh escaped her lips as she felt his head at her entrance, slowly sheathing himself in her.

Jake groaned as he slid in all the way. "Fucking hell, Cris. You're so Goddamn tight."

"You feel so good," she exhaled sharply, closing her eyes and relishing him inside her.

He steadied his breathing as he began to thrust in earnest, slapping her ass hard enough where he was sure his claim on her would be obvious when she wore her tiny bikini. The sounds of their bodies becoming one echoed throughout the room as he rammed into her, unforgiving in his pace as he fucked her raw.

Cris could barely contain the whimpers as he pounded her from behind, the sensation of his cock hitting her spot pushing her to the edge. She begged him to go faster and harder, not caring that she would have trouble walking the next day. With her climax nearing, she reached down to rub her clit, only for Jake to pin her arm to the bed as his other hand worked his magic on her bud.

His fingers slid over her button furiously, the added stimulation causing her pussy to clench around his cock as the orgasm racked her body.

"Jake! I'm coming!" She screamed out as he continued pumping, her walls squeezing his throbbing member.

His thrusts became sloppy as he could feel his balls tensing in anticipation. He pulled out of her heat as he finished himself with a grunt, his cum shooting all over her back.

He collapsed on the bed, inviting her to his nook, wrapping an arm around her as she laid her head on his chest. Silence reigned while they both caught their breath, minds blank from coming so hard. His hand gently traced lines up and down her arm, the gesture completely opposite of his rough demeanor not even minutes before.

She heard his heartbeat slow, returning to normal, while his breathing deepened as he relaxed in his haze. Not wanting to be the first one to speak, she fought the urge to say something. It was an internal battle she lost.

"Jake?" Her voice came out raspy, like someone who just had the best sex of their life.

"Hmmm?" His fingers continued their trail, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Where does this leave us now?" Her fingernails lightly scratched at his chest, the gesture making his muscles involuntarily flex.

Jake tipped her chin up, bringing her in for a slow, lazy kiss.

"I don't know, but I sure as hell enjoyed doing that a lot more than our usual fighting, Princess."

Cris hummed in agreement, mulling over his words. Suddenly, that damn nickname didn't sound so bad after all.

[startofamoment]

to all the WIPs i’ve loved before

rules: post your favorite parts of 3-5 fics that have been sitting abandoned in your drafts for ages. (for extra shame, throw in when you last worked on each thing.) tag 5 other writers to reflect on their life choices. 

a pen pals au of sorts in which jake and amy share a desk and communicate via post-it notes (last edited: december 2017)

Amy is going to murder her deskmate.

The literal trash heap that greeted her last Monday was one thing, the sticky orange soda stain from last month was another thing, but this – this blatant disregard of property and boundaries and the sanctity of office supplies – is the Last Straw.

Spread out across her entire desk is a good fourth of the Post-it notes from the brand new assorted set she got from her brother Tony. They’re all arranged to look like various Star Wars icons, and a few of them are filled in with marker for apparent color correction. It’s horrifying.

Grumbling, she begins taking apart Post-It Yoda, keeping the salvageable pieces in a stack and throwing out the rest. When she’s cleared her entire table, she grabs her favorite pen and a fresh sheet then writes:

Hi, Please refrain from wasting my Post-its in the future. Thank you. - Det. Amy Santiago

She stares at it for a moment and decides, since this is probably the only passive aggressive note she’s going to write her deskmate, she might as well add:

PS: I would appreciate it if you would leave our desk clean at the end of your weekend shifts.

After checking it over once more, she places it in the center of her desk, ready to be read the following Saturday.

a dianetti cake shop au in which rosa owns and runs a store called arlo’s (last edited: june 2017)

Gina takes a moment to look over some of the cakes on display before clearing her throat and leaning over the counter. “’Scuse me, can you help me get a custom cake order started?”

“Sure.” The baker wipes her hands on a dish towel before grabbing a small notebook and pen from one of her pockets. “What’s the occasion?”

“Some old geezer’s leaving our precinct to enjoy retired life, or something like that.”

“Retirement party? Cool. Tell me about this guy.”

“Oh, sweetie, I don’t know or care about him. I’m just here cause my boss told me to order a cake.”

A smirk forms on the baker’s lips. “Ha. Do you wanna just do a standard cake order then? I usually do the custom cakes for more personalized, special events.”

“That’s probably smart. Which one of your standard cakes say: ‘Congrats on being old and rich enough to never work another day in your life, but sorry you’re almost dead’?”

She snickers. “I don’t know about that first part, but how ‘bout an angel food cake as a ‘hope you go to heaven when you die’ sort of thing?”

Gina grins and fishes through her purse for her wallet. “Oh, you should know my expectations on this cake are out of this world high. I’m only here because Yelp told me you’re the Beyonce of baking.” (Actually, she’s here because at least three reviews claimed the baker-slash-owner was “terrifying” and “gorgeous.” – They were right, on both accounts.)

a sequel to i could listen to you all day // the “after ever after” story in which jake and amy navigate their first year together as soulmates (last edited: march 2017)

Jake’s phone buzzed on his desk, breaking him out of his happy daydream. He picked it up and opened a new message from Gina.

“god, quit making heart eyes at the new girl!! your conscience would be v disappointed, kiddo.”

Gina, who had been watching him like a hawk from her desk, expected him to get all flustered and to text or yell back something overly defensive. She raised a single eyebrow when his face instead broke into a goofy grin and he straight up giggled.

Across from him, Amy looked up from her case files. “What’s so funny?”

He shook his head and mumbled something about memes and the internet.

She rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips curled up into a smile. After he redirected his attention to his computer screen, her expression morphed into the same openly adoring look he had on his face the entire morning.

And then it all clicked.

If Gina had stopped to think about it, she would have recognized the new disappointment she felt in both herself (for taking this long to put two and two together) and her childhood best friend (for not keeping her in the loop). As she had not stopped to process anything, she instead yelled across the bullpen: “OH MY GOD. JAKE AND AMY ARE SOULMATES!”

All work stopped, and everyone fell silent. For a good minute, all that could be heard was the faint snoring from Captain McGintley’s office.

“Gina,” Rosa half-snarled, half-whispered. “You can’t just say that.”

“Oops, my b. Y’all know I have no conscience now so…” She giggled, winked at the leather-clad detective, and went back to her game of Kwazy Cupcakes.

Jake let out an awkward laugh. “Well, uh, that was -”

Out of nowhere, Charles appeared right in front of their desks. “Is it true, Jakey? Was Amy the voice in your head all this time?”

“I -” He glanced at Amy for help.

She bit her lip and shrugged.

This wasn’t at all how he envisioned making the announcement, but there was no use denying it. Still looking straight at her, his face softened into a smile. “Yeah… We’re soulmates.”

Charles squealed loudly. “You said the S word! Does that mean it’s official?” He gasped. “Have you said ‘I love you’? Have you met each other’s parents? When’s the wedding? What are you naming your first child?”

pretty much a crack fic inspired by the media’s post-olympics obsession with tessa and scott // my spin on a vm au bc i still refuse to write jake and amy as ice dancers (last edited: may 2018)

Like many of the other bizarre situations he’s found himself in, this all started with Gina. Over the last year or so, she’d been posting random photos and videos of all of them at the precinct. (“I’m devoting my energy to my new project, Ginazon,” she’d declared to the entire bullpen. “It’s a one-stop online portal for my legions of followers. I’m just giving the people what they want!”) Given that this was Gina of all people, Jake wasn’t at all surprised to find out that each post garnered hundreds of likes, but he’d never bothered to venture into the comments section. He’d never known about the apparent niche following that had formed, the group of fans – for lack of a better word – waiting with bated breath for him and Amy to get together.

Charles had only spurred them on, what with all the various Easter eggs on his culinary blog. (“This place has everything,” he’d written once. “My co-workers Jake and Amy even gave it their stamp of approval after they’d shared a quick lunch there before a long stakeout. Make sure to ask for the winter salsa; it’s wonderful!”) He’d sworn that none of it was intentional and that he would never do anything to sell them out, but everything he’d written had still been catalogued and analyzed by the pseudo-experts of the fandom. At this point, Jake’s main regret is not reading Charles’ weekly email blasts.

Their downfall – or rise to viral glory – came when someone from the so-called G-Hive happened to be in just the right place at just the right time, catching their (second) completely-platonic, spur-of-the-moment, done-in-the-name-of-justice kiss on camera. By the next morning, “Undercover Cops Lock Lips Before Locking Up Wanted Criminal” had been viewed on YouTube over a million times.

With everything about the entire situation already being so weird, they’d decided to just ignore their newfound fame in the same way they’d pretended the kisses never happened. (“We’re a great team. We work great together. Nothing should mess that up,” he’d said, repeating nearly his exact words from the night before.)

Evidently, there was no escaping this though. A formal press conference was set up, which wasn’t too out of the ordinary for cases that caught the general public’s attention, except they’d ended up having to say more about their dating lives than the investigation or arrest. He can still feel his heart lurching in his chest at the first relationship-related question, still hear Amy loudly stammering out some vague answer about being “very professional.”

a smutty soulmate au in which jake and amy unknowingly share dreams every now and then (last edited: november 2017)

At this moment in time, Amy Santiago is undeniably, incomparably, drop dead gorgeous.

More specifically: she’s in the hot red dress Kylie convinced her to buy on their last post-trivia night celebratory shopping spree; she’s wearing a matching killer shade of lipstick picked out by her fashion-forward, shockingly sexual 13-year-old niece; and she’s got her hair swept into that one elegant yet fun side ponytail that caught her eye in a magazine a few weeks back.

Normally, she’d be proud of herself for managing to pull off such a look, except–

It’s been a good several hours since she tossed her dress into the hamper, wiped the makeup off her face, and tugged the elastic tie from her hair. She’d buried her head into her pillow and wheeze-cried herself to sleep shortly after changing into her pajamas, so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment over the night’s party-gone-wrong.

The thick haze shrouding her current surroundings tells her she’s in another one of her soulmate’s dreams, which helps a tiny bit in explaining her current appearance but really opens up more questions than answers.

tagging: @santiagoswagger​ @three-drink-amy​ @do-me-decimalsystem​ @arnie-santiago​ @sergeant-santiago

for the record, this was inspired by @disruptedvice​ and @elsaclack​’s responses [x,x] to the writing meme!! i thought it was super clever of them to feature little snippets from various works and felt this would be a good way to give unfinished/abandoned fics some love! 

[pythonees]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Three’s a Crowd - I - Embry Call & Paul Lahote

POSTED: May 28th, 2018

WORD COUNT: 3,327

REQUESTED: Anon

A/N: It might be 12 o’clock in the fucking morning, but I leapt my ass out of bed to deliver y’all this fic.

When Y/N was younger, she had befriended Jake and, by extension,  his two best friends, Quil and Embry. She had met Jake on a trip to La Push with her father, who was going there to visit an old friend from high school. Though Y/N put up a fight at first, she relented when she realized there was another kid to play with and she wouldn't have to sit around while the adults talked about boring things. Though hesitant of each other at first, the two of them found themselves playing in the backyard, getting into all kinds of trouble that left their clothes covered in dirt and grass stains.

It was ‘downhill from there’ her father had said one time with a fond shake of his head, looking a picture of the four of them covered in mud framed atop their fireplace. When Y/N and Jake were together they almost always came back a mess, clothes ruined and dirt smeared across their smiling faces. It was no surprise that Jakes two friends, Quil and Embry, joined in on the fun when they spotted the two of them playing in the trees when they came looking for Jake one day after school.

They hung out as much as they could whenever Y/N ended up at La Push, since that was the only time the four of them could hang out together. Late nights spent fighting dragons in the backyard, with Jake being the fearsome dragon since he was the tallest, and Embry and Quil the brave knights. They would always get a kiss on the cheek as a reward, but Y/N's stomach always felt jittery when she would give one to Embry, which always confused her.

As the four of them grew, so did Y/N’s feelings for Embry, once she finally recognized them for what they were. She hid them as much as she could, and it worked for the most part, but eventually Jake and Quil figured her out. They teased her about it whenever they could, and always tried to push her into confessing her feelings, but Y/N refused every time, much to the two boys disappointment. Y/N didn’t want to get her hopes up for nothing, knowing that Embry could never return her feelings.

When the four started high school, their get-togethers were becoming farther and farther apart, with homework, extracurriculars and part-time jobs getting in the way. Because of this, Y/N didn’t notice the apparently drastic shift in Embry’s behaviour, since most of their interactions were through texts nowadays. Embry was becoming temperamental and got angry at the drop of a hat, which was unlike him. She would get texts from Jake or Quil during class complaining about it, and she would try to help as much as she could from another city, texting Embry more, sending him funny videos that she knew he would like, which they said seemed to help. But only for a while.

Weekends were almost always reserved for her La Push boys, but then Embry cut ties with the three of them, first claiming that he had mono, and then not responding to her at all, even when she knew he was better. The next couple of days after he started avoiding them, Jake and Quil learned where he had gone. There was a group of boys in La Push, small in number, but had just recently gained their newest member in Embry.

Everyone in La Push referred to them as a cult, though Y/N didn't know why at first, until she caught sight of Embry and his new crew from a distance. Though he was far away, and his back was to her, she knew it was him. He was taller than before and built to the point that it scared Y/N, he shouldn't look like that after only a week. On his shoulder was a tattoo, and even though Y/N couldn't see it, she knew it matched the ones on the other three guys that he was laughing with.

Jake was also spending time away from Quil and Y/N, doing so with Bella Swan, the new girl at her school that he was also childhood friends with. Y/N couldn't really blame him for wanting to spend time with Bella, the massive crush he had on her was obvious, probably even to Bella.

That left Quil, who was probably the most bitter between the two of them, having his best friends abandon him in the span of a week for other people at seemingly the drop of a hat. As much as Y/N loved Quil, she could only take so much of his complaining before it drove her mad. Since they were the only real friends Y/N had, she had no one else to hang out with on her days off. But this didn’t stop Y/N from having fun, and instead, she went off and did things that they wouldn’t let her do, like go for a walk in the woods. By herself.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise that something would go wrong, but she was just so angry with the three of them and wanted to break away from anything that reminded her of them. And spiting them was the first thing her mind thought of.

The forest was beautiful that day, the sun was shining through the treetops, sending mystical shadows over the forest floor and Y/N’s skin. While wandering down many winding paths, Y/N found a clearing full of huge rocks and slightly overgrown grass, spotted with little flowers that made the whole place just look alive.

Weary of anything hidden in the field, Y/N slowly made her way towards a fairly large rock, and slowly climbed up it, not wanting to hurt herself so far away from any people. When she got to the top Y/N stood up and looked around, the view of the clearing had somehow gotten better from the little vantage point she was on. It was bright and warm, and it made Y/N feel happy, despite how lonely she was.

Pulling her phone out of her back pocket, she opened up the camera and took a few moments slowly turning in place until she found the perfect shot. Now with the perfect angle, Y/N went to adjust the brightness, but movement in the treeline caught her attention.

Y/N looked up from her camera to get a better view, but couldn't see anything moving past the trees. Figuring it was an animal, Y/N lifted her camera up, only to find that the screen had timed out, and had gone dark. With a sigh Y/N moved to press the power button, but while adjusting her hand the phone shifted, moving away from her face to instead centre over her left shoulder, where a woman with fiery red hair was standing.

Y/N jumped forward with a startled gasp, losing her footing and falling forward off of the rock and landing painfully on her shoulder, head slamming into the ground. The sudden impact with the hard ground disorientated Y/N, the edge of her vision black and hazy as she rolled onto her back, groaning in pain. The woman was standing above her, a wide, cruel smirk on her face as she watched Y/N blink up at her in dazed confusion.

As the black haze faded from the edges of Y/N's vision, she was able to properly focus on the woman in front of her. She was pale to the point that it looked unhealthy, and had bright red eye's. But the weirdest thing about her was that her skin was shining, reflecting light with her every movement, like a diamond.

"What- Why are you sparkling?"

"Hmm, look at that, the human's unique, who would have thought?" The redhead taunted, moving to crouch over Y/N's immobile body. She reached out, ice-cold fingers brushing along Y/N's face. Y/N flinched away, hitting her head on the ground in her haste to get away, "It's a shame, really. You've seen me, and I can't afford to have you say anything to anyone. You understand, don't you?"

Fear washed over Y/N's body, knowing that there was no way she was getting out of this, not with how hazy her head still was.  The woman knew this as well, mouth spreading into a cruel grin that showed off her sharp fangs. She lifted Y/N's body as if it weighed nothing, moving down towards her neck, mouth open wide. Just as she felt the pointed teeth graze the side of her neck, the redhead jerked back, looking off into the trees.

"Looks like we'll have to do this another time," The woman said, before disappearing from her sight into nothing more than a blur, dropping Y/N's body to the ground and jostling her already injured shoulder. There was rumbling from behind Y/N, and she slowly turned her head to see four massive wolves running out from the trees towards her.

Not knowing what else to do, Y/N watched them with wide eyes for a second, then curled in on herself, waiting for them to viciously rip into her. Instead, she heard the large wolves run past her, going around the rock and running after the woman.

There was one that she heard stop, it’s breathing heavy as it stood by her. Y/N didn’t know what to do, so she continued to hide, forcing her body not to flinch when she felt it’s hot, moist breath wash over her as it moved closer.

For a second, Y/N believed that she was going to die there, in the woods that her friends had explicitly told her not to go in. Instead, she felt the wolf's wet nose nudge against her hip where her shirt and sweater had ridden up slightly, exposing a sliver of skin. Y/N slowly looked up, tears blurring her vision as she stared up at the large, grey wolf.

It was strange, but Y/N felt as if the wolf recognized her, the look of concern on its face unmistakable, even though it shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Though just as soon as the concern is there it’s gone, replaced by a wide-eyed, almost dazed look that throws Y/N off.

Y/N stays as still as possible, watching the wolf as it watches her back, looking at her as if it was seeing her for the first time. Though confused, she doesn't move, even when the wolf moves closer, towering over her.

In slowly lowers its face down until it's right next to her's, and Y/N holds her breath, waiting for its next move. The wolf closes the distance to nudge its nose against her forehead, keeping it there until Y/N takes in a shuddering breath. It moves away, only to lay down next to her, now nosing at her injured shoulder.

When Y/N flinches back it lets out a whine, pulling away to look at her better. Y/N uses the space given to slowly sit up, cradling her arm to her body, watching the wolf as she does so. Despite how slowly she moved, her head still spins, vision going dark for a moment before slowly fading back.

The wolf lets out another whine when she sways forward, using its head to keep her upright. Once Y/N is steady and sitting up on her own, the wolf backs up slightly. It eyes her for a second, then nudges at her uninjured shoulder, nosing underneath the edges of her sweater.

"What are you doing?" Y/N mumbled, watching the wolf as it starts to slowly push the sweater off her shoulder, "You want me to take it off?"

The wolf nods, throwing Y/N off. She didn't expect it to respond but does as it wants, taking it off slowly. Once it's off she places it in her lap, but the wolf grabs it up in its mouth, running towards the trees where it came from. Bewildered, Y/N watches it run away, know that even on the best of days, she wouldn't be able to catch it.

Not too far away from Y/N is her phone, lying face up next to the rock and surprisingly, it doesn't have a crack in it, just a little dirty. Y/N slowly shifts onto her knees and then to her feet, walking over to her phone. She picks it and then immediately leans against the rock, the woozy feeling coming back.

Y/N unlocks her phone and quickly scrolls through her contacts, but more movement from the trees catches her attention. Bare of anything but her sweater, Embry comes running out from the trees, concern painting his face as he runs to her.

"Are you okay!? What did she do to you?" Embry asks, warm hands ghosting over her skin as if he were trying to sense where her injuries were. Y/N isn't paying him any mind, too focused on her thankfully huge sweater that was wrapped tightly around Embry's waist.

"It was you," Y/N mumbled, hand reaching out to grab one of the tied off sleeves, "You're the wolf, but how?"

"Long story, but right now we have to get out of the woods before that leach comes back," Embry ushers her away, back towards the path she used to get there. Waiting for them is another wolf, this one a dark grey, eyes narrowed as it stared Embry down.

"Don't give me that look, Paul, you would have done the same thing," Embry continues on, and the wolf, Paul, walks with them, constantly looking around.

"Wait, Paul? Like the one in that 'cult,' you guys were hating on before you joined it?" Y/N questions, looking at the large wolf next to her. The wolf lets out a huff that sounds like a laugh, shaking its big head.

Y/N can't help but laugh at Paul's reaction, it looked so human despite the fact that he was a giant wolf that stood taller than her. Paul turned to her, a wolf-like grin on his face, but it slid off once he looked at her, and he faltered in his step. His sudden change in step caused Y/N to stop as well, Embry not far behind her.

Paul had the same look on his face that Embry did when he first looked at her, but it was still just as confusing coming from Paul, someone she didn't even know. From behind her Y/N heard Embry suck in a breath, a mumbled 'no way' that was so quiet Y/N was surprised she even heard it.

"What's going on?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll tell you later," Embry says, and grabs Y/N arm to drag her further down the path, Paul once again falling into step next to her.

The three of them walk through the forest in relative silence, with Paul still scanning the area attentively, but this time walking so close to Y/N that his fur was tickling her arm. Throughout the walk, Y/N would notice the two of them looking at her from time to time, as if to make sure that she was really there, and hadn't gone anywhere since that last time they looked.

As they got closer to the treeline, Y/N could see a house come into view. It looked tiny compared to the towering trees surrounding it. Paul picked up the pace, veering off to the left and behind some trees. Embry didn't stop to wait, so Y/N followed him silently to the house, not wanting to be left behind.

Embry opens the door and walks straight in, gesturing Y/N in when she hesitated at the door with an encouraging smile.

“You guys are back early,” A woman called, and came out from another room, whipping her hands off on a towel. When she noticed the two of them she stopped, confused eye’s settling on Y/N briefly before turning to Embry, “Where’re the others?”

“That leach came back again, tried to attack Y/N. Me and Paul-"

"Paul and I," Y/N cut in, getting a playful shove from Embry in return.

"Fine, Paul and I brought her back cuz she got hurt,” The woman nodded her head absently, gazing out towards the woods. She gave one more nod to herself before turning to Y/N with a bright smile.

“You must be shaken up, come in, I have cookie’s that should be just about done,” Y/N followed her into the house slowly, giving her a hesitant smile as she fell into step with her, “I’m Emily, by the way. Y/N, right?”

“Yeah,” the oven went off, startling Y/N slightly.

“Well Y/N, I hope you’re hungry,” Emily said, leaving Y/N’s side to take the cookies out of the oven. Y/N watched her move about the kitchen, mind going back to the redhead from earlier. Though she was scared of the 'leech', she knew she wasn’t scared of Embry, nothing he could do could scare her, even turning into a wolf, apparently. But Y/N was terrified of what this all meant, of what else she might learn now that she knew of their secret.

Loud voices came from outside the house, and Y/N turned to the door just as Embry strolled in, who she didn't even know left, with Paul hot on his heels. Y/N instantly shot out of her chair to go over to Embry, wanting to be around someone familiar.

“What happened to that woman, and why did you call her a leech?” Y/N asked, stopping in front of the two boys.

"Cuz that's what she is, a bloodsucking leech," Paul stated, staring down at Y/N.

"Bloodsucking... Like a vampire? Is that what she is?"

"Yes, and they're dangerous, even those Cullens that claim they're 'vegan's'," At the mention of the Cullens, Y/N tensed up, having talked to some of them before, since she had all of her classes with at least one of them. Paul and Embry both noticed her change in demeanour and quickly asked what was wrong.

"I had classes with all of them. I was even friends with Emmet. Well, friendly, no one’s friends with the Cullens. Now I see why."

"What do you mean you had classes with them?"

"Have those leeches done anything to you?"

The two of them asked at the same time, confusing Y/N to no end. With Embry, it was one thing, but she only met Paul today, and his concern was strange.

"I'm fine, they haven't done anything. Why are so concerned, anyway?" Y/N said, directing the question towards Paul.

Paul looked a bit angry at the question, his hands clenched in tight fists shaking slightly by his sides, "Because you're our imprint, that's why!"

"Paul!" Embry exclaimed, shoving the larger boys shoulder aggressively, so out of character for him that it almost made Y/N want to take a step away, not used to this aggressive behaviour. Paul turned his angry gaze to Embry, the shaking in his hands thankfully stopped.

"What? She was going to have to know eventually, and it's not like our situation is normal, might as well do it now."

"Maybe you three should go take a walk, sort this thing out?" Emily said, startling the three; they had forgotten where they were, and that they weren't the only ones in the house. The encouraging smile on her face calmed Y/N down somewhat, but the confusion was still there.

"Yeah," Embry breathed, turning to the still-open front door, "Yeah, okay. Come on, we've got some explaining to do."

[matsbarzal]

Stay - Mat Barzal

Notes: the request asked for some angst with a lil happiness at the end so voila!! hope you guys enjoy! I'm slowly and steadily getting through what I wanted to get through (aka its easter weekend and I have no life!!) also a warning before you read this, I do not whatsoever condone cheating! its all completely fake so please don’t take it as anything else.

Requested: Yes | No

Up Next: Mitch Marner or Noah Hanifin 

You could really only count on one hand how many times you had met the Islanders forward. Each time either being at a family function, or whatever dinner that Jacob invited you too, that Mat just so happened to also be going to. You couldn’t deny that there was an obvious attraction between the two of you, and it was incredibly hard to resist the subtle advances he was trying to throw at you while you stood beside his cousin, arms looped together with your boyfriend.

You knew it was terrible, silently lusting after your boyfriend’s cousin, but you couldn’t help it, especially right now. Jake and you had gotten into a huge fight a few weeks prior, to the point that you kicked him out of your shared apartment for the week, citing that you needed space and him staying there wasn’t going to help. The both of you reconciled, with you agreeing to come to his Grandmother’s for Easter dinner, a sentiment to how much his family loved you.

“So, (Y/N), our little Jakey over here was telling us you’re going to New York for a week next month, are you excited?” Looking up at the mention of your name, you politely nodded your head at Jake’s uncle.

“Yeah, it’s work-oriented so it’s not like I’m going to be able to have too much fun. They want me to check out a few lots, send them information on real estate agents so they can decide what they’re going to do about their New York office.”

A voice piped up from across the table, startling you from your internal thoughts, “Where are you staying?”

Turning to the sound of the voice, you watched Mat’s eyebrow quirk questioningly, waiting for an answer.

“I uh… haven’t figured it out yet, probably just a hotel close to a few sites or something.”

“You can stay with me, I have the room and you’re basically family, not gonna make you spend five grand on a hotel for a week.”

A few people at the table looked at Mat in shock, he never offered to let anyone else in the family stay at his apartment, claiming it was ‘too small’ and that not everyone would fit. He apparently also didn’t enjoy setting up the guest room, but that’s just a second-hand rumour.

“Aw, Mathew, that’s so sweet of you.” Their grandma gushed at his words, affectionately grinning at her superstar grandson.

“I don’t wanna impose and mess up your mumbo-jumbo, Mat, its okay.”

“No, no, I insist. I’ll rarely even be there.”

“This is obviously the kitchen, it’s free to use whenever you want, but I can’t promise that there’s any food or spices or anything. I don’t really eat at home that much.” Mat began walking you through the house, pointing out the rooms you were most likely to use and the cabinets that had anything you needed in them.

“My rooms right here, laundry rooms beside it, and the guest rooms just across the hall from both. The thermostats right there, I don’t turn it on unless it’s super cold, or hot as fuck, but if you wanna turn it on, be my guest.”

Walking behind the Islanders forward, you listened to every word he said, occasionally allowing your gaze to move to a specific part of him. His biceps, face, and your gaze was also drawn to his butt, an easy feat when you were walking right behind him.

“There’s a likely chance I won’t be here that much during the day, we usually have an early morning practice and then one of the boys and I will go out and get food, but I’ll let you know if I do just in case you’re hungry and want me to bring you something to eat.”

Shaking your head, you smiled at the man in front of you, “It’s okay, really. I probably won’t be here much anyways, and you’re already going above and beyond for me, no need to go any further.”

“Nah, if I didn’t wanna go above and beyond for you I wouldn’t. Don’t stress about it, but I do have a favour to ask in return.” Turning to you, he gestured for you to follow him to the kitchen, a bright flyer lying on top of the glass table.

“So, there’s this… team party, I guess you could call it. The guys don’t know you’re staying with me, nor do they know who you are… and I need a date. How do you feel about it? No one has to know you’re Jake’s girl, and I won’t tell Jake about it. I just don’t want the guys harping on my ass all night about how I never bring a date.”

Laughing at his words, you cut him off with a nod, “I’m down. Is it casual or formal?”

“Formal, you’ll most likely need a dress. I’ll pay for it if you don’t have one with you.”

“Well, it’s your lucky day, Mr. Barzal. I was supposed to meet up with a business partner for dinner tomorrow, so I just so happen to have a very classy dress in my bag.” You gestured to your luggage that was still lying by the front door, a wicked grin on your lips.

“Perfect, (Y/N).”

Spending the first three days in awkward silence whenever the two of you came near one another was not how you expected this trip to go. Truthfully, you didn’t know what to expect when you accepted Mat’s offer to stay at his apartment during your time in New York, but it definitely wasn’t the complete avoidance and awkward silence of one another.

On the inside, you knew it all stemmed from the attraction you both felt for each other, not wanting to overstep either persons boundaries, in the hopes that whatever feeling would go away. But, unsurprisingly, it didn’t.

“Do you want me to uh… make dinner tonight? I don’t have any meetings with agents or partners, and I know you don’t have a game?”

Mat turned to you in shock, not expecting the words that came out of your mouth, really, not expecting you to talk at all. “You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t have to, but you’re doing so much for me and I really haven’t done anything for you to make up for mooching off of you for a week.”

“Nah, you’re not Jake, you don’t mooch. You’re grateful about it, unlike that jackass.”

Raising an eyebrow at his words, he stood his ground, continuing to go on about why your boyfriend was a jackass, and why he was such a dick.

“Really, I don’t get why you’re dating him. Have you seen how the man dresses? He acts like he’s 45, not 21. It’s weird.”

Laughing, you tried to shake your head in denial at his words, but you couldn’t, knowing that there was no falseness to his rant. Jake really did dress like a 45 year old, which you usually didn’t care about because it truly wasn’t a big deal, but when Mat brought it up, it felt like it was.

“He’s a cool guy, I’ve known him for like… ever. It was kind of just expected that we’d get together, ya know?”

Reluctantly, the man in front of you nodded his head, choosing to change the topic of conversation after that. “So dinner?”

Dinner was a success; a line of conversation was easily picked up between the two of you as you chomped away at the veal parmigiana, Mat eagerly praising your cooking skills after every bite.

“I don’t mean to sound weird, but this feels and tastes like a fucking orgasm in my mouth.”

A small blush tinged your cheeks at his words, as you subconsciously rubbed your thighs together at the idea of an orgasm. You and Jake had been lacking in the sex department recently, with your relationship on the rocks and the fact that he was always ‘too tired’ to do anything. It didn’t help that the small noises coming out of Mat’ mouth every time he took a bite were slowly helping to turn you on.

When both of your plates were cleared, and the dishes washed, you were about to tell him that you were most likely going to bed until he interrupted your train of thought, “Did you wanna watch a movie with me? I’m not tired, and it’ll feel weird just watching a movie in the living room by myself.”

Contemplating his proposition, you nodded your head after a second, “Sure. I just have to do something real quick, and then I’ll meet you in the living room?”

Nodding his head in agreement, you walked towards the guest room with the intention of changing out of your current clothes and into more comfier, hopefully fluffier ones.

You shuffled through your clothes, pulling out a pair of fluffy pajamas and a long sleeve top. After pulling your shirt off your body, and unclipping your bra, the bedroom door slammed open to reveal a now-shocked looking Mat Barzal. You quickly covered your chest, the heat of your skin getting worse and worse with every passing second of silence.

Something was off about him. You couldn’t tell if it was the way he was now looking at you, or if it was the way he was slowly edging closer… and closer… and closer to you, until he was standing directly in front of you. You looked up at him, confusion evident on your face as you both stared at each other. Half a beat later and his lips were against yours, slowly moving, encouraging you to kiss him back. Your lips easily moved in sync, just as your brain started to rationalize what was going on, and when it did, you quickly pushed him away from you, a look of terror crossing your face.

“Oh my god.”

“Fuck. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

The tension between you two could be cut with a knife. It was obvious to anyone who was truly paying attention, both of you sitting a distance away from one another, barely any words spoken, and it was obvious by the lack of matching tie and dress, there was a bit of a miscommunication between the two.

“Where’d you two meet?” Looking towards the voice, you made eye contact with John Tavares, a questioning look in his eyes.

“Mutual friends.”

“At a party.”

Both statements were said at the same time, all the other people who were at the table looking at the two of you weirdly.

“We were introduced at a party by mutual friends.” You easily corrected the lies told by one another, most of the people there still not entirely believing you, but they left it alone, joining in on other conversations surrounding them.

You didn’t notice Mat’s hand move until it was placed on the inside of your knee, where it gently began to rub up and down, the friction bringing a shiver to your body. You chose not to question it, instead joining in on the conversation that John’s girlfriend was having with one of the other girls. When he realized you were ignoring him, Mat moved his hand up your thigh a little bit more, edging to the spot that you knew was getting wetter and wetter with every movement.

You quickly grabbed his hand, pulling him up alongside you and asking to be excused for a moment. You pulled him along to the lobby of the banquet center you were currently at, internally glaring at the man behind you.

When you were away from any nosy ears and eyes, you turned to the Rangers forward, “What the hell was that?”

“What was what?”

“Oh, I don’t know… maybe you casually sliding your hand up my god damn thigh?”

Smirking at you, Mat once again moved himself into your personal space, “Why does it matter? It’s not like it affects you or anything.”

“Maybe it does affect me, you jackass.”

“How so?” Bending down to whisper in your ear, Mat began, “Is it affecting you because you want me to fuck you? Maybe it’s because little Jakey is just that, little and boring? Or is it because you want me to do so many things to you, you can’t put them into words without having to spray yourself with holy water after? I know you know what I’m talking about, (Y/N). Don’t act like I’m an idiot.”

Pressing you against the wall, he gently nosed again your neck, pressing tiny kisses against the exposed skin as he let his words go down through your body. “Jesus, Mat.”

Before he could react, you were pressing your lips against his which he eagerly responded to. He shoved you harder against the wall, wedging a leg between your thighs which allowed you to grind down, small whimpers leaving your mouth at every grind.

“Let me take you home, let me show you what it means to get properly fucked, not selfishly fucked.”

You didn’t deny him, instead allowing him to drag you away and towards the car, any idea of repercussions being pushed to the back of your head.

[ladyseaheart1668]

Endless Summer Book 4 : Daughter of Vaanu (Chapter 16)

Description: Northbridge struggles to rebuild while Alodia and Jake face potentially life-changing news.  Tagging: @xo-endlessmayhem-xo, @princesstopgun

Chapter 16 : Aftermath

Jake

It's about four in the morning and still dark outside. The bathroom in Diego's apartment still smells faintly like vomit. I'm not sure how long I sit there, staring at my wife. My poor wife, who's just been throwing her guts up, and whose face is still ashen, and who can probably still taste the vomit on her tongue. I had been blotting the sweat off her forehead just a moment ago. But now I'm frozen just about solid.

“...Jake? Say something...”

I swallow, trying to gather my scattered thoughts. She's pregnant. That's what she just told me. My Alodia, my Princess is pregnant. My eyes shift to the toilet.

“...So...was that...?”

“Morning sickness? Probably. Though it's still early.”

“And it's...mine?”

She rolls her eyes. “No, it's Diego's. I've officially claimed him for team bisexual. Yes, it's yours, soup-for-brains!”

“H-how long have you known?”

“For sure? Just since yesterday. ...At the hospital after I passed out, they tested my blood for it. Just part of routine admissions testing. The doctor told me as you were bringing the car around. It wasn't conclusive then. Just enough pregnancy hormone to recommend getting a second test at my follow-up exam. I just got the results yesterday.”

“...So...Diego knows...?” He was with her at the time, when I was bringing the car around at the hospital. Unless she sent him out of the room.

“He knows about the inconclusive test. Not about the positive one.” She sighs. “I told the doctor he could speak freely in front of Diego. Had I known what he was going to say, I would have asked for privacy. ...I think Varyyn might know, too. Psychic link and all that. He's never intrustive, but this is probably the sort of thing that would be hard for him to miss.”

“But...when do you think this...”

“...Happened? When did I conceive? I don't really know. I had a period after we got back here, so it probably didn't happen on the island. The doctor says I'm probably no more than four or five weeks gone.”  

I sink down against the wall, dazed. “Well. This is...a hell of a thing...”

“Yeah. Certainly wasn't what I was expecting. We probably should have been more careful about using protection, but I guess with things being what they were on La Huerta, we never really got in the habit with each other.” She swallows hard. “...What should we do? I...know we've never really talked about whether we actually want kids.”

I swallow hard. “...Princess...if you don't want it, we don't have to keep it. I won't beg or try to guilt you or anything.”

“That's not what I'm saying, Jake. I do want it, actually. That is...I never felt the overwhelming need for motherhood, but I've never been against it, either. And...even if the timing isn't perfect, knowing I'm carrying your baby...” She bites her lip. “...Do you want it?”

“Well, yeah. Shit, Princess, I love kids. Surprising as it may seem, up until shit went south in the Navy, I'd had a head full of idealistic dreams of a future with a partner and kids...”

“That...actually makes perfect sense, to be honest.”

“I mean, the right partner didn't come along until I met you...the one who could actually make me feel like it was safe to settle down and stop running. And...like you said, the timing isn't perfect right now...but that ain't ever stopped life from happening, and I don't exactly feel like waiting for anything with you.”

“...'Waiting' hasn't ever exactly been our style, has it?” she says wryly. “I don't really feel like I can start now.”

I turn to look at her. “So...are...are we doing this? Are we actually having a baby?”

“Well...I'm pregnant. And...if all goes well...then, yes, Jake. ...We're going to have a baby.”

Estela

Except for Quinn, safe and sound outside the city limits with Tricia and Reggie, the Northbridge Catalysts spend the night at the hospital. Craig and Grace doze at the bedsides of their respective partners. Michelle catches what little sleep she can get in the on-call room. Meanwhile, Sean and I set up camp with Joey and my mother in the ER waiting room. At least this one seems to have been designed with anxious family members in mind, as there are at least a few long sectional sofas we can stretch out on. Sean and I sleep in shifts, the habits we picked up on the island kicking in while we're still in crisis mode.

It's about six in the morning when Michelle wanders back into the waiting room, her eyes shadowed with exhaustion. I gently shake Sean awake as she collapses onto the couch beside him. He sits up, blinking blearily.

“Michelle...” He scoots over to clumsily brush his lips against her cheek. “Hey...what's the word?”

“I'm finally off. And now I'm planning to go home, take a shower, and catch a few hours of sleep in my own bed. ...Provided everything is still there.”

“It should be,” I sigh. “The reports are saying the damage was mostly confined to the city center.”

“That makes sense. ...If it were any further out, I think the death toll would have been higher.”

Sean's face falls. “How many, in the end...?”

“Not including Silas Prescott or Dragonness themselves...eight. Which is low for the amount of damage that was done.”

“So, ten altogether,” he concludes grimly. “Too many. Way too many people dead because of Prescott's ego.”

For a moment, we're all silent. Then Michelle asks, “Do either of you want to come with me? I can't convince either Grace or Craig to go home yet, but Aleister and Zahra are in good hands here, and there's no need for you guys to hang around.”

“Yeah, I'll come with you,” Sean agrees.

“I'll stay here awhile longer,” I murmur. I glance over at my mother, now awake and sitting up, watching me. I should talk to her, now that things have settle down. Sean shakes Joey awake.

“Hey, buddy. Michelle and I are gonna go home for a little while. You want to come with us? Get some breakfast? Or do you want us to take you to your brother before we go?”

“I'm gonna stay with my brother,” Joey answers promptly. “...But...I am hungry.”

“How about this? My mom and I will take you to see where your brother is, and then we can all get breakfast together in the cafeteria?”

With the plan agreed upon, Michelle and Sean head out, while my mother and I walk Joey to where Craig is still at Zahra's bedside. She's still asleep, though, and Craig is determined to be there when she wakes up. Joey hesitates, but eventually decides to wait with his brother, trusting us to bring him something edible from the cafeteria. I am privately relieved at his choice. I don't think he speaks Spanish, so it isn't as if he would understand anything my mother and I said to each other, but I also don't want to have a private conversation with him sitting right there.

Of course, once we are sitting in the cafeteria with cups of bitter coffee and stale muffins in front of us, conversation takes awhile to get going. My mother is the first to break the silence.

“...You have grown so beautiful, Estelita...”

I feel my throat getting tight. “...You look just how I remember you. ...Just how you were eleven years ago...Mom...what happened? I thought you were dead. I saw Lila shoot you...”

Mom looks sharply at me, her expression alarmed. “You saw that?”

“The recording you made with the hidden camera at Elysian Lodge. I found it six years later.”

“Then...it all happened.”

“What I am curious about is what happened afterwards.”

“The truth is that I don't entirely know. One moment, I felt myself dying. The next, I was waking up in a mental hospital in Santo Domingo, learning that it has been eleven years since I thought my best friend had murdered me, and five years since they found me wandering the beach in a fugue state. Not only that, but my daughter has apparently been a co-owner of Rourke International for as long as I was in that hospital...”

I look down into my coffee cup. “A lot can happen in eleven years.”

Haltingly, I tell her everything. My quest for revenge. Six years fighting for San Trobida. Transferring to Hartfeld. Winning the trip to La Huerta. Everything that happened there. The terror. The hardships. The wonderful friends...the wonderful family I made for myself. And how the most wonderful of them all was Alodia. The Omega Specimen. The Endless. How she gave up her existence to save everything. How she found her way back when the Prism Gate failed.

“I think that's how you were brought back. She did the same with her husband's best friend. She told me she tried to plead for you, too. I suppose it worked, though somehow it took five years to bring you back fully.”

“Perhaps because I had been dead longer.”

“Perhaps.” I raise my eyes to her face. “Are you disappointed in me? For taking my place as Rourke's heir? I did it for my brother's sake, not my father's.”

“It is very strange to hear you refer to either of them like that,” she answers, a soft edge in her voice.

In spite of myself, I smirk mirthlessly. “You're the one who slept with the man.”

My mother chokes at that, blushing. “Touché.”

“Speaking of which, how did that happen? You and Everett Rourke of all people?”

“...Is it really that surprising? That a young, handsome, wealthy, powerful genius could capture and hold a young woman's attention?”

“But you're not some starry-eyed schoolgirl, Mother. You're strong-willed, capable, intelligent...”

“I'm also a human being with a sex drive, which makes me as likely as any other human being with a sex drive to make certain mistakes.”

“He was married!” What she is saying makes perfect sense, of course, but a part of me still cannot accept what I'm hearing. I don't know what I expect her to say. I know it would only horrify me more if I believed Rourke had coerced her into bed with him. ...Perhaps a part of me is hoping she'll say that she seduced him, though to what purpose, I couldn't imagine.

“He wasn't married at the time, Estelita. He was engaged to Imogen, yes. But he told me that theirs was an open relationship, and as infatuated as I was, I let myself believe it. By the time I woke up to reality, I was pregnant, and Imogen was his wife. ...And quite possibly pregnant herself by then. So I fled. Back to San Trobida, to your tio. You already know I went back to work for Rourke later. I never told him about you. That is, I told him I had a child, but I never told him you were his. I even gave your birthdate as six months later than it was so that the timing wouldn't match up.”

“...And that is why he believed my birthday was in January...” I murmur. “...But he must have suspected, because Draco was placed correctly in his password...”

“...What?”

“The password. To his computer. Remember, that's how we found him in the stasis tube.”

“Ahh. Of course.”

I am silent for a moment. “...You were right to hide me from my father,” I admit. “Growing up, I never felt the need to know who my father was, and I am glad he never got his claws into me. ...I only wish my brother could have had the same protection.”

“Estelita, that boy was not conceived as you were. He--”

“I know. He is a clone. That doesn't make him a copy. He is a good man, and I will not hear otherwise from someone who doesn't know him as I do. He...Joey, what are you doing here?” I abruptly switch back to English as I notice Joey hovering beside our table, watching us curiously. He shrugs.

“I'm hungry. I got tired of waiting. Zahra's awake, by the way.”

Alodia

When I'm sure that I'm not going to be sick again, Jake and I make our way back to the sofa bed. Varyyn and Diego are sitting up, watching us anxiously. Knowing they're not likely to get back to sleep without some measure of reassurance, I confirm the test results I received yesterday.

“Are you planning to keep it?” Diego asks.

“Provided there is something to keep, yes. I'm not going to be able to start making plans until I know there's a beating heart.”

“When will you know that?” Varyyn asks curiously.

“Two weeks. That's when I'll get my first ultrasound.”

“Remember when Grace was pregnant with Reggie?” Diego says. “And she showed us those ultrasound pictures?”

“Ahh, yes. The doctor will use a machine to make a picture of your child in the womb, correct?”

“That's right. But...as early as it is, there's not a heartbeat to find at this point. All I know is that the chemicals in my blood and urine indicate that I'm pregnant. ...For all I know, I've already lost it, and I just haven't started bleeding yet...”

Now that I've put it bluntly, the thought immediately fills me with a sorrow that aches to the marrow of my bones. Telling myself that it might just be a so-called chemical pregnancy is one thing. But to think that I may have conceived and lost a child without even knowing... Jake puts his arms around me, kissing my hair.

“We won't make plans yet,” he promises.

“Don't even let on to the other Catalysts yet,” I insist. “Not until there's a heartbeat.”

“What about your folks?”

“Same rule. Not a word for at least two weeks.” I nestle into his arms. “By the way, what was that awkwardness you were warning me about yesterday?”

He sighs, kissing the top of my head. “I...may have given your uncle permission to fire me when he didn't want to let me leave.”

It's my turn to sigh. “...Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time before the two of you butted heads.”

“...Should I be annoyed that that's your reaction?”

“All I mean is that I know you and I know him. He's a control freak, and you're a stubborn hothead like me. Ask Diego how many times I was either kicked out or ran away as a teenager.”

“It's true,” Diego confirms. “My parents just kind of got used to her randomly staying over for a night. It never lasted longer than that. ...And once...well...once I got kicked out, Allie and her uncle were much more careful about not letting it come to that since Allie didn't have a ready retreat anymore.”

“Aunt Molly can usually talk Uncle Rob around. It might not be as bad as you fear.”

A few hours later, it seems we're going to get the opportunity to see exactly how bad it will be. My phone buzzes with a text from Aunt Molly.

Aunt Molly: Are you still @ Diego's? Please come home. We need to talk. <3

I show the text to Jake. “The heart's a good sign.”

“I hope you're right. ...I guess we should be going.”

“Let us know how it goes,” Diego says.

There's a parking ticket under the windshield of the car Jake drove here when we get outside. He plucks it off, sighing.

“I'll have to pay this quick...this is my sister's car.” He sighs, opening the door for me. “...Heh...I'm becoming a father already...worrying about money.”

“No making plans yet, remember?”

“Right. Right. Sorry.” He gets into the driver's seat and starts up the car. As he puts his hand to the gear shift, I cover his hand with mine.

“...I love you, Jake.”

He pauses, turning towards me. Leaning over, he kisses me gently. “...I love you, Alodia. You mean the world to me. Whatever happens, we can face it if we're together.”

I nod, and he settles back into the driver's seat. We're silent on the short trip back to my childhood home, but as we make our way to the door, he keeps his fingers twined with mine. Aunt Molly and Uncle Rob are waiting for us in the kitchen when we arrive, steaming cups off coffee waiting for us. I hesitate before sitting down.

“...Don't you two have to work today?”

“We called in well,” Aunt Molly informs me. “Please sit down.”

We reluctantly do, joining hands again as soon as we are settled. Aunt Molly gestures to the coffee invitingly, but I shake my head.

“I don't want any.”

She doesn't press me. “...Have you had any word from your friends in Northbridge?”

“...They're all safe,” I inform her. “Relatively, anyway. Aleister's got a broken leg and Zahra has a concussion. But they should be all right.”

“I am very glad to hear it.”

There is a long stretch of silence, long enough that I start to wonder what it is they actually wanted to talk about. Finally, Uncle Rob clears his throat.

“Listen, Jake...I never actually fired you. So, in light of the circumstances, what if we just agreed to pretend yesterday never happened?”

“...That...would be generous of you, sir. Thank you.”

“However, there is something my wife and I would like in exchange.”

Jake leans back, crossing his arms as he casts a wary eye over my aunt and uncle. “...I'm listening.”

To my surprise, though, they pin their eyes on me. “Alodia,” Aunt Molly says, “I have made you an appointment with a therapist on the 27th. I would like you to keep it.”

I feel my heart start to race. I grope for Jake's hand. His fingers curl around mine and squeeze. “I...I have another appointment that day already...”

Aunt Molly raises an eyebrow. “You do?”

“Yes. ...Just another follow-up. You know, for the heat exhaustion.” That's a lie, of course. The appointment I'm talking about is with an obstetrician. To see if in fact there is something growing in my uterus.

“It seems a little excessive...”

“Well...you know. They want to be sure...”

“What time is that appointment?”

“Two in the afternoon.” I pray to God this therapist appointment is scheduled around the same time. Or at least close enough to prevent me from doing both. But Aunt Molly relaxes at my answer.

“Oh, there's no trouble there, then. I made the appointment for 10am.”

My heart sinks. Anxiety turns to anger in my throat. “So...what...you're going to hold Jake's job captive in exchange for my seeing a therapist? About what?”

“Alodia, don't be dramatic. I'm asking that you keep one appointment. You've been through a great deal of trauma. And you have to see that it's not reasonable for your uncle to employ someone who is going to take off at the drop of a hat every time you call.”

I feel my cheeks burn with humiliation. Jake's grip on my hand is painfully tight.

“Okay, first of all,” he growls, “this was not 'the drop of a hat.' This was a major disaster affecting people we both know and love. And second, you make it sound like this is happening all the time, when the only other time it's happened, it happened because she was physically sick from heatstroke! She isn't some clingy, fragile broken bird, for all you both seem to think she is! If she's calling me for help, it's because she needs help!”

Aunt Molly raises an eyebrow. “...I think she can speak for herself, Jake.”

We both go silent. We can sense that if we persist in arguing, they're both going to back us into a corner. We're already caught between a rock and a hard place. I can't be honest with any therapist. I just can't. I'm terrified that putting me in front of one would tempt me to say things that could put me, my friends, or the Vaanti in danger. ...But Jake's job may be on the line. And with the possibility of a baby on the way, how can we be cavalier? My trust fund won't last forever. Aunt Molly and Uncle Rob won't want a baby in the house, which means we'll need to find someplace to live. I squeeze my husband's hand.

“...One session.”

Sean

When the doorbell rings, I'm quick to hit the buzzer, but I don't wait for my guest to come up the stairs. I rush down three flights of stairs to meet him.

“Raj!”

“Sean!” We embrace, gripping each other firmly. “You have no idea how glad I am to see you!”

“Ditto, man.” I pull back. “How's Zahra?”

There has been some shuffling over the past few days as we and the rest of Northbridge have started to recover from the disaster. Raj insisted on flying in from Tokyo to help, which none of us had any problem with. He would have been content to stay in a hotel, but following the example of the  Mad Hatter's tea party with a dash of human Tetris for inspiration, we managed to squeeze everyone in. Michelle and I are currently staying at my mother's apartment, while Grace and Aleister are in our room so that Quinn can help with Reggie while Aleister is laid up, and Raj is on Craig and Zahra's couch, with Joey in their guest room. Meanwhile, Olivia Montoya has apparently been living in an apartment in the Bayside neighborhood, so Estela has set herself up there.

“She's still pretty groggy. But she's home now, and I think that helps. Still, I'm not looking forward to when she comes around enough to realize that she has to limit her computer and video game time for a few weeks.”

“She does?”

“Yeah. She's supposed to get...how'd they put it...'physical and cognitive rest'. Limit cognitive stimulation. I think computer and video games definitely count.”

“Wow. That sounds...incredibly boring. Poor Zahra.” I sigh, turning to lead Raj up the stairs. “...How's Joey holding up? He's so young to have gone through something like this...”

“He's putting on a brave face, but he's being pretty clingy with Craig. I think seeing Zahra hurt and knowing it could have been his brother is pretty scary. ...How are you holding up, Sean?”

I pause, looking back over my shoulder. “Me? I'm fine. I'm just glad everyone's okay.” I can't help but notice that Raj looks skeptical. “...I mean...yeah, I'm still kinda shaken, but that's kinda to be expected, right?”

“Of course. But it's still okay to talk about it.”

I shrug, turning my attention back to climbing the stairs. “...Michelle and I tried to convince my mom to let you make dinner, but you know how she feels about guests doing the cooking.”

“I know, I know. It's supposed to be the host's job to provide food. But she is actually providing the food. I'm just the one cooking it.”

“And we told her that. But I think she still considers cooking to be something the host does while the guests relax. I think we may have argued her down to accepting a supervisory role.”

He chuckles. “I'll take what I can get.”

* * *

Momma does end up letting Raj make dinner. Knowing how much he enjoys cooking makes it easier for her to accept it. But she does insist on doing the dishes. I go to help her while Michelle and Raj kick back in the living room. As we scrape plates, load the dishwasher, and scrub the larger pots and pans, my mind starts to wander, back to La Huerta, back to the night at The Celestial when Raj threw us a feast so we'd stop fighting. Well...mainly so that Jake and I would stop fighting. The others were mostly just choosing sides.

That night, Alodia and I had loaded the dishwasher together, just the two of us. I had memories of her then. Or what I thought were memories, of a golden-haired young woman showing off her gymnastics prowess on the bleachers of Hartfeld Stadium in the hour before a game. I know now that any memories I had then were part of the Endless' elaborate illusion, built up loop after loop to keep Alodia naive until she passed the test at the Threshold and broke the cycle. ...Now those very same memories still linger. But this time, they're real.

“Penny for your thoughts?” My mother's voice breaks into my reverie.

“Oh...nothing important.” After the briefest hesitation, I say, “I was thinking about my friend Alodia. ...You know, the one we thought we'd lost on the island?”

“Of course, I know. It was all over the news for weeks after you all brought her home. How is she doing?”

“...It's...been a difficult couple of months for her. But she has Jake and Diego looking after her in California. Actually, it's kinda silly...I was thinking about a time when she and I did the dishes together after Raj threw a feast. ...It was...in the first days after we got to The Celestial. Before Rourke found us, and before we knew what had happened to the guests...” I shake my head with a rueful laugh. “I honestly don't know why it popped into my head.”

Momma smiles. “Sometimes, silly little moments like that just make themselves remembered. Just the other day, out of nowhere, I remembered a time when you were four or five...it was autumn, and we were living in that house with those great big ash trees. You were collecting helicopter seed pods from the backyard, opening them up, and dropping the seeds in a pail of water. You said you were making stew for dinner, and the little green seeds were 'porky beans'.”

I laugh. “God, I was obnoxiously cute. How did you stand me?”

“It was a trial at times,” she replies, grinning.

I am quiet for a moment. “...I had a massive crush on Alodia in the early days.” It's the first time I've said it out loud like that. It's not like it's a secret. The Catalysts all know it. Michelle knew it almost immediately. I went so far as to ask her out for heaven's sake. But I never actually just came out and said it. I'm not really sure why I'm saying it now. Momma raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah?”

I shrug. “Yeah. I mean, Michelle and I were broken up at the time...”

Momma studies me for a long moment. Finally, she turns back to the pot she's scrubbing. “This girl must be pretty special if she caught your attention at all. You have always had very discerning tastes.”

“Yeah. ...She is special. One of my best friends.”

“But she's not like Michelle.”

I feel a smile playing around my mouth, something soft and romantic. “...No...not like Michelle. Michelle is...strong and passionate and smart and fierce and generous and kind...and I guess Alodia is all those things, too...”

“...But Michelle is all those things in a way that fits with you.”

“Yeah. ...Michelle brings out the best in me. She makes me better.”

Of course, Alodia did that, too. It's what she was born for, created for. To make the eleven of us better. It's part of why I was so drawn to her at the start, the subconscious memories of two-thousand plus time loops, intuitive understanding of what she was. I was still smitten with her when I realized that she had fallen for Jake. Even as I backed off, even as the initial resentment faded, I still wished to be the one she looked at so lovingly. Even as I began to respect and even like and care about Jake, I would still spend hours at night trying to puzzle out why the two of them seemed to fit so well when I knew that she and I would have been a disaster as a couple.

I find myself thinking about this for days after Raj's visit. One evening after practice, I wander to the city center, where clean-up crews are just finishing up for the day. It's likely going to be weeks before the debris is completely cleared. It will be months or even years before the scars stop showing, before the damaged skyscrapers are repaired or replaced.

I can't help but remember passing through the Lernean Gate to find Hartfeld a fiery hellscape. The despair that flooded me when I recognized my mother's apartment building, when I ran up to her unit to find it had been destroyed just like the rest of the world. Alodia had been the one to follow me then. I remember the way the lava's blood-colored light gleamed in her golden hair and reflected off the amber armor of Andromeda.

We'll fix this, she promised me. We'll find a way.

And I believed her. The world was in hell, but she was an avenging angel. She could make me look at the end of the world and still believe everything would work out. It was terrifying to trust her that much. For years, I believed I had to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I tried to be the hero, to protect everyone around me, to take on everyone's burdens myself. I had convinced myself it was a strength, or at least a virtue. But on the island, I was completely out of my depth. Jake and Estela, true fighters who had both experienced real battle, were a little more prepared, but even they found themselves taken by surprise. Only Alodia seemed to have what it took to lead everyone. A part of me was frustrated to no end, but I told myself to watch her. Learn from her. Figure out why everyone—myself included—trusted her more than they trusted me or anyone else.

Then, underneath the temple where we reunited with Zahra, we met the Endless. And the Endless lifted her helmet and revealed Alodia's aged face. Alodia revealed what terrible visions she had been seeing in the Catalyst idols, and how the Endless had manipulated the Vaanti for hundreds of years just to keep the eleven of us alive.

The horror of that moment was manifold. I hadn't really seen the strain that Alodia was under. Maybe I hadn't let myself see it. Maybe it would have been too obvious an indictment of my own hero complex. Diego had seen, obviously. Jake probably had too. But somehow I'd missed the fact that Alodia was starting to buckle under the stress of watching everyone she loved die. With that came the certain realization that it wasn't Alodia's leadership skills that we were all placing our trust in, but the fact that somewhere deep in our hearts, we all knew that everything depended on her. We could all play our parts, but in the end, our role was to bring her to the rooftop of The Celestial. She touched us all, and we grew under her nurture, and were made better. But in the end, the fate of the world rested on her shoulders. Billions of lives in her hands. Lives that an alternate version of herself was all too willing to sacrifice for the sake of building a paradise for the twelve of us.

Strictly speaking, our Alodia was never the Endless. The Endless was formed when the first Alodia, left alone and grieving for the rest of us, learned her own origins in her search for a way to bring us back. But everything the Endless was and had the potential to be still exists inside our Alodia. Even this incarnation. That potential for ruthlessness is still in her. I don't imagine the Endless made the decision lightly to travel back in time and make herself a god to the Vaanti. I imagine it took upwards of a dozen times of standing by and watching them slaughter us before she decided that was the only way. But she made that call. She made that call, and then she encouraged her alternate self to give up the rest of the world.

I don't blame Alodia for any of it. I don't even really blame the Endless. Even in this timeline, where Alodia is a human woman with a past outside of La Huerta, I know she and I could never have worked as lovers. There is a wildness in her that I could not have hoped to keep up with, but which Jake can easily match. And I know she would have surely felt stifled by me in the end. Michelle is patient with my flaws, even if it doesn't seem like it, and grounded enough to be my support without letting me crush her. But ultimately, it took Alodia's sacrifice for me to let go of my infatuation enough that I could turn around and see that my true love was right beside me.

I cannot be alone. I need friends. Family. I need to let them share my burdens. Because in Alodia, in the Endless, I saw true loneliness. Whether as Alodia or the Endless, she truly was the one with the weight of the world on her shoulders, and I saw how it destroyed her. Even when she made the most noble choice, giving her existence to give us everything, it left scars. Jake almost destroyed himself in his grief. I couldn't ignore anymore the way my need to bear all the burdens could hurt the very people I was trying to protect. As the Endless, she shattered my worldview, my belief in black-and-white morality, the unflinching, arrogant righteousness that had led me to reject Michelle in the first place.

I jump when I feel an arm hook through mine. Somehow, Michelle has materialized beside me without my noticing. She lays her head on my shoulder.

“Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.”

I bend to kiss the top of her head. “The startle was worth it to have you beside me.”

“How romantic,” she chuckles. “...What are you doing way out here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Well, I was looking for you, of course. ...I kinda had a weird feeling you'd be here.”

I am quiet for a moment. Abruptly, I turn and pull her into my arms. I want to feel her pressed against me. I want her in my arms and I want her arms around me. She obliges, gripping me firmly.

“God, Michelle, what the hell are you still doing with me?”

“With you? I love you, Sean. Isn't that good enough for you?”

“After the way I treated you...”

“Hey.” She pulls back, bringing one hand up to cup my cheek. “That was a long time ago. We've both grown a lot since then. I forgave you a long time ago. Besides...it wasn't like I was exactly girlfriend of the year back then, either.”

“You weren't perfect,” I concede. “But that doesn't excuse the way I treated you.”

“Once again, though, we've both grown since then.” She grins. “Come on, I don't hear you wondering why Craig and Zahra are still together. And we both know they were an absolute trainwreck together the first time they tried being a couple.”

I sigh, shaking my head, but I can't hold back a rueful smile. “True.” I draw her against me again. “...I love you, Michelle. I swear I'll never walk away from you again.”

“And I'll never watch you go without a fight.” For a moment, we just hold each other. Then, she says, “...You may not remember...but today was my last day as an intern. I start my residency tomorrow.”

“That's right. ...I was going to take you to Cormier's to celebrate. I still could, right? I don't think it was damaged in the fight...”

“No, it's still in one piece. ...But honestly, I'm exhausted, and I have something else in mind.”

“Well, you name it. It's your special day.”

“Let's go home. We'll stop on the way for a nice bottle of wine. We'll put on our pajamas, order take out...and finally settle a date for the wedding.”

“Really? You're ready to name the date we'll become husband and wife?”

She smiles at me. “I've gotten used to being called Dr. Nguyen. But I'm ready to be Dr. Gayle.”

I laugh, kissing her forehead. “Well, then. Let's get ourselves a bottle of wine and go home to toast the future Mr. and Dr. Gayle.”

Alodia

They're dead. They're all dead. My friends are all dead at the hands of a race I can't begin to fathom, fearsome creatures with skin of blue and green who speak in a tongue I can't understand. They descended on us like a pack of wolves, and immediately began tearing us to pieces. ...Only two of us are alive now, cowering in a cave in the face of Mount Atropo. I clasp Quinn firmly in my arms, cradling her head against my breast. She holds me back, her breath hot as it filters through the fabric of my shirt to warm my skin. Something is wrong with her. She's burning up with a fever, soaking in sweat, rigid with pain as she struggles to draw in each breath. I try to reassure her, but my words are empty. I don't know how to treat her. I don't know how to protect her from these creatures. I don't know how to get her home. She pulls back, raising her watery sapphire gaze to my face.

“Let me go, Alodia.”

I shake my head. “No. No way in hell.”

“I can lead them off you. Give you a chance to escape.”

“Escape to where?! There's nowhere safe on this whole godforsaken island!”

She raises a trembling hand to cup my cheek. “You'll find a way. You'll find something. Everything depends on you.”

“What are you--”

“I'm dying, Alodia.”

“...What?”

“I came to this island with six months to live at most. ...If I die now or in a few more months, it doesn't really matter. At least this way, I'm giving you a chance to live. ...Take the chance I'm giving you, Alodia. I know you don't understand now, but someday you will. You'll figure it out. You'll figure out a way to fix everything.”  

“No...please, Quinn, let me come with you...”

She shakes her head. Her breathing is becoming more and more labored. “...There...are some journeys...that you have...to take alone...”

Before I can protest further, she has summoned her strength and taken off into the jungle. I sink down in the darkness of the cave, frozen with shock and terror as her strangled scream tears the sky apart.

* * *

“So, Alodia,” Dr. Morita says after a long stretch of silence, “why don't you tell me what's on your mind?”

The ultrasound I'm having this afternoon, I think. “...My friends,” I reply aloud.

“Which friends?”

My family. The ones who gave me existence. “The ones who were on the island with me.”

I expect her to push me to talk about my trauma on the island. What Rourke did to me before he stuck me in a stasis tube where she believes I waited for five years. Instead, she says, “Why don't you tell me about them.”

“...They mean everything to me.”

“Will you tell me about them? What are their names?”

“Jake. Diego. Grace. Sean. Estela. Quinn. Aleister. Zahra. Raj. Craig. Michelle. Should I tell you more?” When she nods at me to continue, I go on. “Jake is the love of my life. He knows me to the depths of my soul, and to be with him is to be almost complete. Diego has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. He is beautiful and kind and creative and clever and most of the world doesn't appreciate him the way it should, even now. Grace and Aleister are married, and they have a beautiful son together. Neither of them ever had their parents' love or affection, but they are two of the kindest, most loving people you'll ever meet...”

I go on, pouring out my love for my Catalysts onto this stranger. I will talk about them for as long as she allows, long enough to run out the clock on our session if possible. In this room, protected by a seal of confidentiality to rival a church confessional, my love for my friends is a safe topic. Not every topic is safe. But this one is.

Dr. Morita lets me go on almost until the session ends. Then she holds up a hand. “Let me stop you there, Alodia. I want to ask you something: when I ask you to think about your friends, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?”

I mean to say 'family'. I want to say 'family'. 'Family' is usually the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of my Catalysts. But instead, I blurt out the first thing that has popped into my mind just now.

“...I can't protect them.”

“...What can't you protect them from?”

Well, I'm in it now. Backpeddling would only increase the damage. I just have to navigate carefully. “...Anything. From what happened in Northbridge. From time.”

“Time.”

“Yes. That thing I imagine we're running short on.”

She glances at the clock. “You are right. But I just want to ask you one more question: do you believe it is up to you to protect your friends?”

“...Perhaps.”

“Why do you think that is?”

Because on the island, it was up to me. I am Vaanu's daughter, and I was the only one who could save them. “...I don't know. Anyway, we're out of time, and I need to go.”

“You are free to go, of course.” She stands up, holding a hand out to me to shake. “It was very nice to meet you, Alodia. I hope you will consider coming back.”

* * *

“...Oh, God...oh, my God....”

My stomach is covered in cold, slimy goo. My bladder is full almost to bursting, a requirement this early in the game apparently, to lift the uterus to the surface and make it easier to see. But any discomfort has faded into the background. Because the technician has just turned the screen toward me with a smile. There's a small, vaguely human-shaped blob in the center of the screen, grainy and white. The technician points to a spot on the blob, where I can just about make out a tiny flutter.

“That's the heartbeat.”

I feel Jake's grip on my hand tighten. I manage to tear my eyes away from the screen long enough to look over at him. His eyes are sparkling as he takes it in. He curls his other hand around mine and brings it up to kiss my knuckles, never taking his eyes off the screen.

“Are you seeing this, Princess?”

I smile, turning my eyes back onto the screen. “I'm seeing it. I'm pregnant. I'm actually pregnant...”

“This is real. ...We're really having a baby.”

“...We're having a baby, Jake...”

Sean

For once, a Skype call with the other Catalysts has resulted in smiles all around as Michelle and I announce that we've set our wedding date for March. Even Zahra, still looking a little weak, with her forehead still sporting a large bandage, grins as she leans against Craig on their sofa.

“It will be off-season then, and Michelle will be able to get the time off work that far in advance. The only thing we're having trouble deciding is which coast to have it on, east or west.”

“I'm personally leaning towards the west coast,” Michelle adds. “Because we've got the perfect excuse to hold it in southern California, and the weather's much more likely to be nice. Besides, they've got beaches.”

“And I suppose a Vaanti handfasting isn't really in the cards?” Quinn asks.

“Niala'rei is in January,” Diego points out.

“A difficult time for me to get away,” I concede.

“Ahh, the ceremony isn't so much the point,” Jake declares, draping an arm over Alodia's shoulder. “Niala'rei, an old-fashioned Western white wedding, or something else entirely, all you're doing is throwing a party and a little ritual to publically declare that you're crazy in love enough to spend the rest of your lives together. And we kind of knew that already.”

I laugh. “You're lucky we all know you here, Jake. It was a little hard to tell if you were saying 'Congratulations' or some form of 'Bah, humbug'.”

“I only say 'Bah, humbug' at Christmas. Congratulations. Seriously.”

There's a flurry of wedding talk for a few minutes, although there isn't much to tell since we don't have many details planned. When we briefly lapse into silence, Alodia clears her throat.

“I...actually have some news, too. But I feel a little bad now, because I feel like I'm going to steal your thunder.”

“Oh, please!” Michelle laughs. “Steal away. As long as it's good news. We can use all the good news we can get.”

“Well...you should be prepared in case you're thinking of having me stand up in your wedding. ...I'm pregnant.”

The news sends everyone into another flurry of excitement, congratulations, and questions.

“When are you due?” Michelle asks.

“Early in April.”

“Yay! So it will be an April baby, just like me!” Grace laughs. “Which is quite a coincidence, since Reggie is a January baby.”

“So, you're going to be pretty far along at the wedding,” Michelle says thoughtfully. “I think we have to hold it in California now.”

Alodia snorts. “I'm happy to be your excuse if you really want a California wedding, but don't go altering plans on my account. I promise I'll try really hard not to go into labor at the wedding.”

“If you do, it will just make things more exciting,” Michelle declares. “Heck, I may even get to deliver your baby. Fair warning, I'm going to be calling you at least once a week until it's born to check up on you.”

“She isn't lying,” Grace sighs, grinning. “She did the same thing to me.”

Quinn sighs. “I do wish you were over on the east coast with us, though. With you pregnant and Michelle getting married, it feels like all the Catalyst girls should be together right now. I mean, it would be great if the whole family were together regardless, but weddings and babies seem like the perfect events for girlfriends to bond over...”

“Speak for yourself,” Zahra snorts. “I don't want anything to do with the little bugger until it's out.”

“Possible awkward question,” Raj pipes up. “Who's gonna be the godfather? Mike or Diego?”

“Woah, Raj!” Craig yelps. “Way to stir up the drama right off the bat! Isn't it a little early to be asking them a thing like that?”

Jake laughs. “Don't worry, we've already decided. We just haven't had a chance to ask him yet. ...Diego? Are you willing to be the godfather?”

Diego looks genuinely surprised. “I...me? Really? Of course! I'm flattered! Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” Alodia confirms. “Mike was the best man at our wedding. You get godfather dibs on my first baby.”

“Besides, we're going to ask Rebecca to be the godmother.”

“I'm leaning more and more toward California for the wedding,” Michelle declares.

“I don't care where it is,” I reply. “As long as you're walking down the aisle towards me, and the rest of you are there to see it.”

“Well...if you do choose California, we've got the perfect place for the reception,” Jake informs us. “We told Alodia's folks about the baby, and they immediately offered us the beach house.”

“Seriously? Just like that?”

Diego sighs, rolling his eyes. “You underestimate just how little her aunt and uncle want to go through having a baby in the house again.”

“All right!” Raj crows. “You're hosting New Years' Eve this year! It'll be perfect. Holidays somewhere warm, a joint birthday party for you and Michelle and a chance to toast to both a future Catalyst wedding, and a brand new baby Catalyst! Actually, thinking about it, that might be a good time for a joint wedding/baby shower, too...”

I sit back with Michelle's hand in mine, feeling a goofy grin cross my face as talk turns to Raj's plans for the biggest Catalyst party since Elysian Lodge. Maybe things aren't completely back to normal after the horror of the disaster a few weeks back. But my family is whole, and we're starting to plan for the future again. And just like that, I know we're going to be all right.

Rochelle

Nothing is ever going to be the same again. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt. A month ago, I watched my daughter give her life in a battle with Silas Prescott to protect the city. I suppose she was trying to protect me by never telling me that she was Dragonness, but I knew. Of course I knew. Who else would it be but the child who came through the Prism Gate twenty-five years ago? Besides, I'm her mother for godssake. I know her silhouette. I know the way she walks, the way she moves, the timbre of her voice.

The day after the battle, I sought out Poppy. I was still dazed, numb with grief. I had to tell someone. I had to tell someone what I knew, and Tahira's best friend seemed like the right person. I haltingly confessed what I had told Tahira only a week or two before the battle, about the Prism Gate, about her origins. Reluctantly, Poppy admitted that she knew. She and Dax had known since the Prism Gate first malfunctioned how Tahira had been affected by it. It was Dax who had constructed her costume, and the two of them had guided her since she had been released from the hospital, suddenly blessed with the powers of flight and super strength. Poppy did not give me the identities of Talos or Minuet, and I didn't ask for them. I don't need to know them. Let them go about their lives, cleaning up the remnants of Stonewall and his criminal gang.

I don't know what to do with myself since I lost her. Dax tries to assure me that he is working on a way to find her, to bring her back, but I'm afraid to hope it can be done, afraid to hope that my little girl is alive somewhere.

I come to the city center nearly every evening as the construction crew are wrapping up for the day. The debris is pretty much clear by now. Someone has set up a shrine to Dragonness in the center of the square, a small stone tablet reading, Dragonness, the hero of Northbridge. Candles and flowers are strewn around the memorial, more and more every day. I burst into tears the first time I saw it. Gazing at it now, my throat still tightens painfully. It makes my heart swell to see how eager people are to honor her. And yet, there is a bitterness I can't quite swallow. How many of the people leaving flowers are really mourning my Tahira and not just Dragonness? Besides that, what about all the other people who lost their lives that day? Where are their shrines?

I know I should be proud of the brave sacrifice my daughter made that day, of all the lives she saved. And in the depths of my heart and my soul, I am. ...But that pride isn't strong enough yet to overcome the my grief.

… I never told her goodbye. ...I never got her forgiveness for concealing her origins...

“...Our summer is over.” A voice sounds beside me, making me jump. “But another will come soon. And when it does, imagine me with you. Because with you is exactly where I'll be.”

I turn to my right and find myself looking down at the profile of an elderly woman with pale, weathered skin and a head of limp, silver hair. She is short and rail thin, wearing a red sweatsuit in spite of the sweltering August heat. She looks as if she must be ninety years old. And yet, there is something about her, a hint of power that is both intimidating and strangely familiar.

“...I'm...sorry...?”

She slides her gaze to the side and up to my face. Her eyes are a stunning shade of blue. “...Words recorded some time ago, by someone far braver than I, just before she gave herself up for the greater good. ...Looking at this memorial, they seemed appropriate.”

“I see...” I turn back to the shrine, shifting uncomfortably. I don't want to talk to this strange woman right now. And yet, I don't have the will to ask her to leave me to my grief.

“Only a handful of people were aware of the sacrifice that young woman made. They have made certain to honor it, but most of the people whose lives she saved don't even realize she existed. I am glad to see your daughter getting her due.”

Electricity shoots down my spine, followed by a trickle of ice. I whirl to face her. “...How...how did you...?”

“...I am glad to finally meet you, Rochelle Rogers.” The woman turns toward me, holding out her left hand for me to shake. And that is when I realize that she is an amputee. Emerging from the end of her right sleeve is a skeletal bionic hand. Trembling, I take her left hand in a loose handshake.

“Who...are you...?”

“My name isn't important. Not yet. I'm an old woman who isn't long for this world, and I can't really help you very much. But what I can tell you is this: I am your daughter's true kinswoman. And I know for a fact that she is alive.”

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Flirt | Daniel Seavey

Requested? Yup! @superseavey I hope you like it! 

Warnings? Swearing

Word Count: 2,506 

“Mom please!” You beg for the billionth time. She sighs and turns to you with an exasperated look. You had been trying to convince your mom to let you move to LA with your two older brothers for months now. You were in your last year of high school and your dream was to move to LA to pursue music. Your two older brothers, Logan and Jake had moved out about three years ago and ever since you had been begging your parents to let you move out after high school. “What will you even do out there?” She asks. “I wanna start my career. If it makes you feel better I’ll go to college there!” Your mom looks at you for another minute before sighing in defeat. Without her saying anything you pump your fist into the air and cheer. “Thank you!” You yell before running over to hug her. “As long as you go to school there and stay with your brother Logan, you can go.” She decides finally. “Thank you thank you thank you!!!!” You cheer excitedly. The next few months fly by and before you know it you’re packed up and heading to LA. You were currently at the airport with your parents. Your flight was planned to leave in about two hours and you couldn’t be more excited. “Kick ass out there.” Your Dad says giving you one last hug. “Call me when you land okay? I love you.” You give them each one final hug before heading towards security. As you head through the long line you turn to give your parents one last wave before they disappear from view. “Logan!!!!” Just as the blonde vlogger turns around, you tackle him in a hug. He lifts you into his arms and spins you around excitedly. “(Y/N/N)!!!!” He yells into your ear. When he sets you down he holds you at arms length, grinning from ear to ear. “You’ve grown so much!” He exclaims. “God I sound like Mom.” Logan says immediately after causing you to laugh. “Jake would have came but he’s busy-“ “Creating drama?” You ask causing Logan to laugh. “Something like that.” He responds.

Growing up you were always closer to Logan even though he was a couple of years older than you. Jake and you got along, but never as well you and Logan. After all of the drama Jake had started, the two of you only grew farther apart.

Together you go to pick up your two suitcases at baggage claim before heading to Logan’s house. When you get there you're shocked out how truly big it was. “Damn Logan.” You exclaim as you get out of the car. “I know right.” He says smirking at you, causing you to roll your eyes. Even after all this time Logan was still Logan. “Come on.” He says gesturing for you to follow him. “I wanna show you your room.” After greeting Brendan, Lydia, and Evan, Logan leads you upstairs to your room. “Okay close your eyes.” Your eyes quickly slip shut and you feel Logan’s hand on your shoulder. You hear him open your bedroom door before carefully leading you inside. “Now open.” He says. Your eyes flutter open to see your new room. It was decorated perfectly, all of your possessions in their respective spots. You turn to face Logan with a huge smile on your face. “It’s perfect!” You exclaim happily. Logan smiles proudly before suddenly realizing something. “I forgot to tell you! The Why Don’t We boys are coming over to see the new house and to swim in the new pool. You up to meeting them today?” “Of course! When are they coming over?” “In an hour or two?” He responds uncertainly. “Okay! I’m gonna take a nap before if that's alright?” Logan leaves your room shortly after and you collapse onto your freshly made bed. You were really excited to meet the Why Don’t We boys today. After Logan had got into them a few months ago, you started listening to their music. They were really good and honestly one of your favorite bands at the moment. You wake up about an hour later to someone carefully shaking your shoulder. When your eyes flutter open you meet a pair of bright but unfamiliar new ones. “You’re awake!” He exclaims smiling at you. Realization hits him as a confused look crosses your face. “Oh! I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Daniel.” He says sticking his hand out to you. “I’m (Y/N).” You say taking his hand. “Logan sent me up here to wake you up and tell you me and the rest of the boys are here.” He says smiling at you. “Okay! I’ll be down in a second.” Daniel gets up from his seat on your bed and walks over to your door. As soon as he shuts it behind him, you get up to change. After slipping on one of your bathing suits you find in your suitcase, you throw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt before heading downstairs. When you reach the living room you see Lydia sitting on her laptop. “They’re out back.” She says before you can even ask. You quickly head over to the backyard to see Logan and the rest of the boys sitting by the pool. You walk over and plop yourself down next to Logan and he turns to smile at you. “Boys, this is my little sister (Y/N). (Y/N), that’s Zach, Jonah, Jack, Corbyn, and Daniel.” Logan says pointing to each boy. Your eyes land on Daniel once again as he smiles widely at you. Even from far away his eyes still shined and you noticed the cute gap in his teeth when he smiled. Logan clears his throat causing you to blush brightly and drop your gaze. Suddenly he stands up and cannonballs into the water, getting you and the boys wet. “You’re gonna pay for that.” You say as he emerges from the water. “Oh really?” You quickly slip out of your shorts and T-shirt and dive in after Logan. He tries to swim away but you’re quick to dive under the water and grab his foot. You hear him yell out in surprise causing you to smirk. You quickly swim up to the surface while Logan’s off guard and grab onto his shoulders. You push him down under the water causing him to squirm underneath your grip. You look up to see the boys laughing at you and Logan and you can’t help as butterflies fill your stomach when you hear Daniels laugh. Logan takes advantage of your distraction and resurfaces. He splashes you with water causing you to turn back to him. “You’re a dork.” You say but smile anyways. “No I’m Logan.” He responds causing you to splash him with water. “Let’s play Marco Polo.” Zach suggests after you had all been swimming around aimlessly for awhile. “Who’s Marco?” Corbyn asks. “Nose goes!” You yell loudly before placing your pointer finger on your nose. As you look around you notice Daniel was the last one to point to his nose. Everyone points at him and he drops his head in defeat. “Daniel go to the shallow end of the pool. Everyone else spread out.” Logan orders. After everyone finds a spot in the pool we tell Daniel we’re ready. Just as he starts to wander around the pool looking for all of you, you quickly duck behind Logan’s waterfall. “Marco!” He calls out loudly. “Polo!” You all answer back. Daniel snaps his head to the left where Jack is sitting next to him. “Marco?” He calls out again. “Polo.” Jack responds from right next to Daniel. Before Jack can move, Daniel reaches out and grabs Jack's shoulder causing him to yelp. “Jack you're out! Sit on the edge of the pool. And no hints!” Logan calls out. As the game continues, you watch as Daniel gets out Zach, Corbyn, Jonah, and finally Logan, leaving the youngest Paul to be last in the pool. “Marco!” Daniel calls out roaming dangerously close to you. “Polo!” You respond as you quietly duck underneath the water to swim away. When you resurface, you look across the pool to see Daniel making his way over towards you. You duck down once again to swim behind the waterfall and when you resurface you hear Daniel call out again. You respond causing him to turn around and walk towards your voice. He slowly makes his way over to you and you push yourself up against the back wall of the pool. Just as he pushes past the waterfall he speaks again. “Marco?” “Polo!” You say quietly, hoping he would move away. Before you know it, Daniel is standing right in front of you. You were inches apart, causing your breathing to pick up. Before you could move away, Daniel places both hands on your waist before opening his eyes. “Gotcha.” He says smiling. Your cheeks heat up and just as you're about to say something, Logan speaks loudly from across the pool. “Make a move on my sister and your dead Seavey!” Your face burned even brighter as Daniel turned away from you to face your older brother. He holds his hands up on defense before wading back over to the rest of the boys. You finally catch your breath and head back over to your brother. You and the guys spend another hour or so in the pool before it starts to get dark. “Wanna head inside and watch a movie?” Logan suggests. You all agree and head back into Logan’s spacious house to watch a movie. You quickly head upstairs to change into some comfortable clothes before jogging back downstairs and into the living room. When you walk in, you spot Jonah, Zach, and Corbyn on one couch. Jack and Logan share a loveseat, and Daniel sits on a loveseat with an empty space next to him. You plop down next to him and look to Logan to see him giving you a wink. You roll your eyes at your brother and turn your attention to the huge flat screen TV where you would be watching Baby Driver. However it wasn’t long before you felt your eyes start to slowly shut as the jet lag took over you. You rested your head on Daniels shoulder and your eyes fluttered shut. “Should we wake them?” You hear a voice, Jonah, ask. “Nah just let them sleep.” Logan responds quietly. You soon feel a blanket draped over you and then fading footsteps are heard. You let unconsciousness fall over you once more and snuggle into the couch. When you wake up next, your eyes flutter open to meet darkness. You sigh quietly before moving to sit up. You look around and noticed Daniel passed out next to you. His lips were slightly parted as quiet snores escaped his lips. His long eyelashes were spread out across his cheeks and his hair stood up in about a thousand different places. You smiled softly at the sleeping boy next to you before quietly standing and making your way to the kitchen. You check the time to see it’s almost 2:30 and you knew you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anytime soon. Your sleep schedule wasn’t stellar back home so you knew the jet lag would set you back even worse. You decide to head to Logan’s backyard and when you step out you take note of how it does get a bit chilly at night in LA. You walk past the huge pool you had been swimming in hours before, to his spacious backyard. You stop in the middle of it and sit down. You tilt your head backwards to see a minimum amount of stars spread across the sky. Back home, stars could be seen for miles and you constantly found yourself getting lost in the beautiful constellations when you couldn’t sleep. Out here there was too much city light and the beautiful stars were sadly drowned out. “(Y/N)?” You’re snapped out of your trance when you see Daniel standing a few feet away from you. His hair was sticking up even worse now but it honestly made him look even more beautiful. His bright blue eyes shined through the darkness and you found yourself getting lost in them. “Hey.” You respond quietly. “Couldn’t sleep?” He asks and you shake your head no in response. He walks over and sits down next to you and looks up just as you did minutes before. “Not much to see huh?” He asks. “Nope.” You sit there together in quiet for a bit when a huge gust of wind flows over both of you. You involuntarily shiver at the cold contact causing Daniel to look over at you with a worried expression. “Are you cold?” “Nah I’m okay. I grew up in Ohio remember?” You joke. Instead of responding, Daniel pulls off the sweatshirt he’s wearing and places it into your hands. “I can’t just-“ You start but Daniel is already shaking his head. “No ifs ands or buts.” He says smiling at you. You smile back and slip the large hoodie over your head. You fix it so your hair flows out of the hood and you smile wider as his scent hits your nostrils. “Why LA?” He asks quietly. “New York seemed boring.” You respond knowing what he was talking about. “And I just had this feeling. Like I needed to be here.” You and Daniel continued to talk for awhile before heading back inside. You both walked into the living room and took opposite couches and fell back asleep for the third time that night. After that first night, Daniel was constantly over the house. He made up excuse after excuse to Logan just so he could come over and see you. Even if it was just for a few minutes. Your interactions weren’t long but you had always felt the blue eyed boy was flirting with you. However you brushed it off so to not get your hopes up. “Hey (Y/N).” You were sitting in your living room when the doorbell rang. You got up to see Daniel standing there with his infamous smile. “Hey.” You respond smiling. “Logan’s not here right now.” “Well I actually wanted to see your beautiful face.” He says causing you to blush. “Did you just flirt with me?” You ask finally. You’d been wondering for ages and you couldn’t wait to find out an answer any longer. “Yeah, I have been for the past 8 months. Thanks for noticing.” He responds sarcastically. “Wait really?” “Yes! I’ve liked you since the first day I saw you. Messy hair and all.” He explains. “Well, I’ve liked you since you caught me in Marco Polo.” You respond sheepishly. “So, (Y/N).” He says putting on his best posh accent. “Will you go out with me?” “I’d love to.”

[365-of-2019]

Today is August 7, 2020. I am currently on a flight home to Atlanta after spending more than two weeks out West in Colorado and Utah. Though I am coming off a desert adventure, I am sitting on this plane feeling intensely anxious. The last time I remember feeling this way was during my sophomore and junior years of college—the years in which I couldn’t see straight and didn’t sleep properly for weeks at a time. So, I am scared. I would very much prefer not to spiral in the way that I did 3 years ago. I would prefer to prove to myself that I have grown since then, and that I have ways of dealing with my anxiety other than just pretending it doesn’t exist. If it turns out that I am unable to handle my anxiety, then I will need to follow up on my years-long intention of getting professional help. Anyway. I wanted to open up a blank page and write a little bit about the past two weeks, rather than writing about my job and my stress levels.

For context: the world is still in the middle of a pandemic. In the US, COVID-19 cases continue to rise every day as public officials make laws, take back laws, and take back their take backs. In general, flying is frowned upon. When I drove up to the Atlanta airport two weeks ago, I felt enormous tidal waves of guilt. I felt selfish, ignorant, and borderline idiotic. But I still went through with it. So I guess none of those feelings really matter.

This summer, Maddie worked for Jefferson County in Golden, Colorado. She was a trail specialist and spent three days a week performing maintenance on trails all around Jefferson County. At the same time, Nevada was driving around the West Coast, spending time in California, Nevada, Arizona, and Colorado. For the past two weeks, both Maddie and Nevada have been living in the suburbs of Denver.

With both of my sisters in a city that I have always wanted to visit, and with the opportunity to work remotely from any location I choose, I felt like I could not pass up such a special moment in time. Special feels like the wrong word to use. I may look back on this decision and think, “IDIOT!” But, for now, I feel grateful for concentrated time with Maddie, who is growing and evolving so quickly and confidently.

I arrived in Colorado on July 23. That weekend, Maddie and I, along with her roommate Emma, made a drive out to Great Sand Dunes National Park. It was wild. There was sand everywhere. The hills were steep and tough to trek, due to our feet sliding backwards four inches with every step we took. But, we eventually found our own little peak to claim. And then we claimed it by eating peanuts and dancing to Harry Styles and throwing our cowboy hats into the wind. We finished the day by ordering six burritos in the drive thru of La Casita, and eating them in the Colorado wilderness. A hard Saturday to beat.

The next day, we met up with Nev to check out UC Boulder’s campus. We grabbed coffee at a Boulder café, walked around the Quad, found Varsity Bridge, and talked smack about our family members. I am so thankful for those moments—no matter how nasty or silly or irritating we may be when we are all together, we are all together.

Unfortunately (the word “unfortunately” is comical in this context), I was not permitted to take more than two days of PTO while in Colorado. For the last week of July, I worked a four-day week before we set off on our four-day weekend in the desert.

We left Thursday night and drove to an Air BnB in Grand Junction, Colorado. We woke up the next morning and drove straight to Arches National Park—the park I have been dreaming of ever since I went to Zion with Zander last year! It was 105 degrees. The air was dry. There were no trees. It was amazing.

Because I am obnoxious and feel the need to prove points that don’t need to be proven, I suggested that we attempt the longest hike in the park—an 8-mile loop through the most northern tip of Arches. To my surprise, Maddie and Emma agreed. Maybe they shouldn’t have. But they did! So we set off! We made it about halfway through the trail—seeing some beautiful arches along the way—and then spent about 90 minutes trying to locate the correct path to take to lead up through the second half of the loop. It was a little bit fun and a little bit concerning.

I love National Parks and I love the West because they make you feel small. You can look at a canyon or a mountain or the clear night sky and feel like a speck. Which then means that all of your problems and worries are smaller than specks. And that’s nice. However, when you are lost in the middle of a canyon, feeling small is not so reassuring. As we drank the last sips of our water, we decided to turn around and cut our losses. So, we did not complete the 8-mile loop, but we did complete an 8-mile hike. I was so thankful to be with my sister in nature. Not even a powerfully persistent dry mouth could ruin the day.

That night, we camped at a private campsite in Moab. We grabbed fresh corn, broccoli, and vegan sausages from the grocery store and grilled them over charcoal. We slept in Emma’s tent, sleeping on the camping pads that I purchased last November when Kristy and I spent the night on Maddie’s dorm floor. I had not been camping since I was little, and I had not felt so disconnected from technology since my time in Uganda. It was a welcome change.

We woke up to the blazing sun burning through the side of our tent, and set off for another stint at Arches. The second time around, we waltzed around the more touristy parts of the Park, taking ~4 minute walks to reach beautiful viewpoints. It was relaxing. And beautiful. And I think we were all happy to have the car within a half mile.

Arches was everything I thought it would be. I wish I could explore the that place for weeks, rather than days.

The second night in Moab, we drove to a Utah state park called Dead Horse Point. It sits at the northern end of Canyonlands National Park. It was insane. I saw the Grand Canyon last year, so I know what big canyons look like, but this one still took my breath away and had me repeatedly saying, “Wow,” like an idiot. I hope that that feeling never goes away no matter how many feats of nature I come across.

We asked the park ranger if we could stay past closing hours, and he suggested that the answer was yes. We laid on the rocks of the canyon wall for hours, watching the sky turn from neon orange to dark blue. It was the night before a Full Moon, and the light of the moon lit up the canyon walls so brightly that we ran and danced and played music until nearly 11PM. The tiny desert mice made a couple of appearances. We said thank you.

Day three in the desert: we drove to the center of Utah. Along our drive, we saw signs that said, “No Services for 100 Miles.” We thought we were in the desert in Moab. But when we drove farther West, we started to realize that Moab is a bustling city in comparison to the center of the state.

We spent the afternoon at Little Wild Horse Canyon, a slot canyon near Goblin Valley State Park. We had a photoshoot between the canyon walls and soaked up the shade that the narrow slots created. It was a beautiful, totally unique ~4 mile hike that left us in high spirits.

That night, we stayed at a campsite in Goblin Valley. Emma got us some firewood and we roasted corn over a fire. Maddie made me tiki masala with chickpeas. There were signs at the campsite that advised boiling water before consuming. We tried. It was very bad.

After dinner, we drove to the valley of the park to soak up the stars. Goblin Valley is home to one of the darkest night skies in the US, and we could tell how special that darkness was, even in the blinding moonlight. Maddie and Emma stripped and ran around the valley naked. I curled up in the crevice of a boulder and stared up for an hour. Sometimes, I wish I would not be such a square. Sometimes, I appreciate my ability to choose the things that bring me most satisfaction, even when others are telling me that I am choosing incorrectly. But that’s for another time.

We drove home to Golden the night after our rendezvous with the goblins, and we all took showers and curled up on the couch after nearly four full days in the desert heat.

I have already written this so many times, which I hope suggests that it is authentic: I am so thankful for experiences like the one I had last weekend. Particularly in the midst of a world that is stressful for me as an individual, but also stressful for global society, I feel so lucky to have the relationships and resources at my fingertips to experience truly special pieces of life. Never have I ever wanted to buy a van and live off of rice and beans so badly. There is so much that I haven’t seen and so much that I want to see again. I often feel as though I approach life like a race—trying to squeeze in experiences even when doing so is inconvenient or difficult or exhausting. I hope this is a good thing. I am not sure yet.

I spent the last four days working from Maddie’s home in Golden. She finished up her summer job this week, and is driving back to North Carolina this weekend. I am landing in Atlanta tonight and moving into my new apartment tomorrow. Jake and Dad are driving down from Raleigh to help me with the insane one-day moving process. They are kind.

I am stressed about work, stressed about moving, stressed about money, stressed about COVID-19, stressed about the social and political atmosphere of the country. Sometimes, it is so much that I break into tears without any specific triggers. But at the same time, I am feeling such immense gratitude. I have siblings who are so smart and thoughtful and unique. I have spent more time with Mom and Dad in 2020 than I did in the four years previous. Zander is loving and kind and gives me advice when I feel helpless. I have a job that is challenging, but full of some of the brightest people I have ever met. I am moving in with one of my best friends from college tomorrow, making a beautiful apartment on 14th Street into our home. I got to see the desert and soak up the dirt. So, really, life is very very good.

[whyarethedolanssoattractive]

Paint You Wings ~ Ethan Dolan {Part 13}

Averly’s POV

I smiled and nodded my head. "Yeah, ten at the max." I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and leaned against the kitchen counter.

He nodded his head and started to leave. "Alright, I'll see you later. I love you." He winked before he turned all the way around.

I smiled and watched him as he left, then went into my room and sat on the bed to plug my phone in. I had been waiting to post a picture of us until I got home. I was taking the picture and his arms were wrapped around my shoulders. He kissed my cheek and I squinted my eyes and smiled.

@averlyy.dixonn: Love.

Recently, I had to turn off my Instagram notifications. Since Ethan had put my username in his reveal post, lots of his fans had followed me.

I scrolled through the explore page for a while and saw tons of edits and drawings of the twins. I liked as many as I could find in a short amount of time.

@jamescharles commented on your post: "Mami and Papi😻😻"

I couldn't help but laugh as I replied to James. @jamescharles you know it😉

When I got bored of social media - which didn't take long at all - I went over to Ethan and Grayson's. When I opened the door, music was playing and there were tons of people inside.

"Congratulations!" Everyone yelled before they split back into their own conversations.

Ethan came up to me and kissed my forehead. "We're really proud of you."

I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back slowly. "Gee, thanks." I laughed and kissed his jaw. "This is really sweet, even though I don't know most of these people." I laughed.

He put his arm around my shoulders and and stood against the wall. "You don't know anyone else from here. I had to get a little creative." He shrugged.

A few people came by and introduced themselves, took a few pictures with Ethan and I, then mingled around a little more. After around an hour or so, some people started leaving gradually. 

Ethan and I had migrated to the couch. Grayson was walking around the apartment talking to everyone, and the rest of the people seemed to be enjoying themselves as well. When the front door opened, everyone looked in its direction. Ethan told me that everyone he invited had already shown up, so I was curious to say the least.

Into the apartment walked a tall blond with a blue bomber jacket and skinny jeans. A disgusting smirk was plastered to his face as he led six other people inside. "Ethan, Grayson, what's good?" He asked and opened his arms.

I felt Ethan's arm muscles tense up around me. "What are you doing here, Jake?" He stood up slowly and faced him fully.

He laughed and shrugged. "I saw a few Snapchats about a party at the Dolan's. Figured I'd swing by, introduce myself to your girl, you know." His eyes swung around the room until they fell on me. "Oh, you must be Avery, huh?"

"Averly." I muttered and stood up. Ethan's arm swung out just a bit as a barrier between Jake and I.

Grayson came into the room and cleared his throat. "Oh, Jake, you know, I think we were gonna have to start asking people to leave soon anyways. The landlord doesn't really approve of parties, and we all know that you've had your share of citations for such." He shrugged one shoulder and gestured to the door.

Jake laughed. "Nah, bro! It'll be fine. Get me something to drink though, would ya?" He nodded his head to the kitchen.

Grayson narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "The kitchen is literally five steps away from you. Drinks are set out on the counter."

Jake and his whole crew behind him scoffed, then walked into the kitchen. Ethan and I sat back down on the couch and tried to ignore them, but I could tell that Ethan was glaring at him through the apartment. 

"Yo, Ethan, you're out of ice!" Someone who walked in with Jake called from the kitchen. 

E stood up and groaned. "I'll be back." He bent down and kissed me on the cheek, then went outside. Almost the second the door closed, Jake and a set of twins came and sat beside me on the couch. I stood up, but they did, too.

"Uh, hey." I mumbled uncomfortably. Jake grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back to the couch. "Y'know, Ethan might need some help with the ice. He, uh, he hurt his shoulder a few days ago and it might be kinda hard to lift. I'm just gonna-"

Jake and his twins laughed. "Have a little faith in your man, Avery!"

"Averly." I corrected once again.

"Whatever." He leaned back and put his arm around me. I sat forward, but he pulled me back. 

I cleared my throat and shook my head. "Can you please stop? I don't wanna be rude, but I'm kind of uncomfortable." 

The three guys laughed. "You hear that, Emilio? She's kind of uncomfortable." One of the two twins pointed his thumb at me and fake-pouted.

The other one scrunched his mouth to one side. "Maybe we should, uh, leave her alone or something?"

They all started laughing again at that. I shook my head and stood up to walk away, but they followed. "Hey, we were just messing around. We'll quit, we swear. We just wanna talk to you." Jake claimed.

I turned to face them and shook my head. "The feeling isn't mutual, bud." I walked to the door, but he chased after me and grabbed my hand. "Okay, seriously, leave me alone."

He grinned down at me and shook his head, then pinned me against a wall. "Don't think I can do that."

The door opened and Ethan came back in. He saw Jake blocking me from being able to walk away and raised his eyebrows. The bag of ice fell from his hand, and without a moment's hesitation, he slammed a hard punch into Jake's jaw. 

Jake stumbled backwards, then re-gained his balance and looked at Ethan with menace. Everyone who hadn't left after Jake and his crew arrived practically sprinted to the door. Grayson grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the two boys. 

"Ethan, drop it." I tried to reason with him before he did something stupid.

Before he could react, Jake's fist swung at Ethan's face. They kept throwing punches and slamming each other against walls until they both had cracked knuckles. Jake scoffed and looked back and forth at Ethan, then Gray and I. "This is bullshit. Let's go, guys." He rammed his shoulder into Ethan's as he walked to the door. The rest of his crew followed him out, each of them hitting Ethan's shoulder as they passed, then closed the door behind them.

"Holy shit," Ethan grabbed his face with his hand. "That sucked."

Grayson got a bag of peas out of the freezer and handed it to his brother. "You realize you're an idiot, right? I mean, you lost blood over a Paul." He said and leaned against the counter.

Ethan rolled his eyes. "I lost blood for my girl." He winked at me and laughed.

I over-dramatically sighed and put a hand to my forehead. "Oh, how noble."

[talia-suskauer]

If I Let Myself Go - Part Seven

Part seven is here. It is by far the longest part in any of my fics. This part is stuff from 5x08 of PP with plenty of Owen. I hope you all enjoy it. I’m super excited to start on the next part! -Megan

Previous parts: one | two | three | four | five | six

--

“It’s been twelve days,” Owen said. “Twelve days and we still don’t know where she is.”

“We just have to hope that she’s okay,” Addison said.

“But what if she’s not? What if she’s hurt, or dead somewhere?” Owen asked them.

“You can’t think like that. I know we’re all worried but like Addison said, we have to hope for the best,” Violet stated. 

Owen’s pager went off in his pocket. He let out a sigh, shaking his head slowly. It had been brutal trying to work with Amelia missing. To make matters worse, he was leaving that night to head back to Seattle for a few days.

“I have to go, let me know if you hear anything,” he said before walking away.

--

When Amelia decided to go into work that day, she had no idea that it had been twelve days. Every day became a blur to her, each one connecting to the next seamlessly. Spending most of the day high or drunk did that to a person. It was Ryan encouraging her that made her go in. 

“Amelia?” Addison called out.

“Morning Addie! Let me grab some coffee, then I’ll be back. I have news!” Amelia replied, heading towards the kitchen.

She greeted her coworkers that were already sitting in there before pouring herself a mug of coffee. Putting the empty coffee pot down, she could tell something was off. All eyes were on her. A hug from Sheldon was uncalled for. Sheldon was weird sometimes though, so she didn’t question it too much as she tried to tell him to let go of her. Amelia was excited to tell them all that she and Ryan were engaged. When Addison’s hand collided with the side of her face, she was mad. She didn’t understand why she was being greeted the way she was. She didn’t understand what she had done. She definitely didn’t expect things to go the way they were that morning. 

They all thought she could have been dead. Amelia thought that was a bit dramatic. 

“Why would you think I was dead?”

“Because no one has seen you,” Sheldon said.

“What are you talking about? I miss a couple days of work and suddenly I’m--”

“Twelve.”

“What?” she asked.

“You missed twelve days of work,” Jake stated.

“No one has seen you in twelve days,” added Sam.

Hearing that it had been twelve days was a shock. Amelia didn’t believe it at first. There was no way it could have been twelve days. Looking back, she couldn’t separate the days from each other. But they all seemed so sure that it was twelve days, so she figured they must all be right. She felt like she was being trapped into a corner. She didn’t want to discuss where she had been. In her eyes, what mattered was that she was there now at least.

Charlotte questioning her about being on something made Amelia panic a little bit inside. Part of her wanted to tell the blonde woman to keep her mouth shut and get off of her back. The other part knew that she probably shouldn’t. Whether she was on something or not wasn’t really their business as far as she was concerned. Amelia knew these people well enough though to know that there was no leaving that kitchen area without an explanation.

It was easy for her to pull the lie out of her ass about Ryan saving her, and claiming that she had been sober for a few days. She figured they’d all buy it, she didn’t think any of them would call her out on it again, not after her explanation. 

After finding a reason to leave, Amelia brought her coffee mug into her office, standing in front of the window. The sun poured into the room, lighting it up. She was feeling relaxed, calm. She was in a peaceful state as she brought the cup up towards her mouth, taking a sip of the hot liquid inside of it.

--

“She’s here,” Charlotte stated. “She’s up in her office. Showed up about two hours ago with some story about how she’s sober because her boyfriend saved her. But she’s here and she’s in one piece.”

“She’s alive?” Owen asked.

“Yep. You can go up if you want, I know you were worrying about her,” she said. “Pete’s got it covered down here, go.”

Owen made his way over to the practice, going up to the floor where he would find Amelia’s office. Reaching the door, he saw it closed. He knocked on it before letting himself in. The shades where closed, and he looked around. Amelia’s desk had powdery residue on it from what he could only assume were the drugs she was taking. She sat in the chair behind the desk, slowly looking over to where Owen stood.

“You had me so worried, Amelia. What were you thinking?” he asked.

“I slipped. I’m fine now. I am sorry that I worried you but I’m fine, really,” she said.

“You need help,” he said. “Let me help you.”

“You? Why the hell would anyone want that? You’re only here because you can’t figure your own crap out. The whole reason you came to work out here was to run away from whatever you have going on back in Seattle, so don’t talk to me about how you want to help me,” she said. “I am fine. I am sober, and if you choose not to believe me that is your own damn problem,” she hissed.

Owen walked over to her desk, running his finger through the small bit of powder that was still on it. Amelia stared at him angrily, grinding her teeth together slowly. He looked at his finger and held it up to her. Every part of him hurt for her. 

“This isn’t you being fine, Amelia. This is you struggling and being too afraid to ask for help,” he stated.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said.

“I do. I do know,” Owen told her. 

Amelia rolled her eyes, stepping away from the desk. She brushed past him, getting ready to walk out. She didn’t need this, she came to work. She showed up and was doing her job, and he needed to let all of it go. Owen turned and grabbed her by the arm.

“Let me go,” she said.

“I’m not letting you walk out of here on me,” he said.

“You don’t get to decide if I walk out of here on you or not, Owen. I am a grown woman and this is my office.”

“You missed twelve days of work!” he yelled. “We didn’t know where you were for twelve days! Do you have any idea what that was like for us? You’re one of my best friends here, do you not realize how terrifying it was knowing that something bad could have happened?” he asked.

“Owen, stop, just let me go,” she told him.

“Amelia, please,” he begged, tugging her closer.

Standing only inches apart, Amelia looked up at Owen. He could see how different she looked. A little thinner, kind of dazed and spacey. He could see every little thing that was different about her, and he just wished there was a quick fix to help her. As he stared down at her, their eyes locked. He looked into hers and swallowed hard. Parts of him felt so drawn to her. Their faces inched closer together very slowly. Amelia looked back at him and she wasn’t sure what she was feeling. She just knew that she really liked looking at Owen. Shaking her head, she shoved him off of her. She wasn’t going to that. She had Ryan, she couldn’t kiss Owen.

“Just get the hell out of my office,” she told him.

“Fine,” Owen replied. “I’ll see you next week.”

“Next week?” she asked.

“I have a flight leaving at seven tonight. I’m visiting Seattle for a few days,” he explained.

He watched her do nothing but nod before he left her office. He knew he needed to get things figured out with Cristina because he wasn’t sure what to do with the feelings he had begun to develop for Amelia over the last handful of weeks. It was hard for Owen- he had a lot of feelings for Amelia, but seeing her now made it tough to remember why. This wasn’t the girl he had grown somewhat close to. She was an entirely different person. He wanted to have his Amelia back. The one he knew was in there still somewhere, but would just take some time to get back to again. 

--

Staging an intervention wasn’t easy. Every single person in the practice knew that it was going to be hard to get Amelia to listen to them, let alone stay long enough for them to say anything. Addison, Sam, Charlotte, Cooper, Violet, Pete, Sheldon, and Jake were all there ready to try and help, to make Amelia see what she was doing to herself. Owen was in Seattle and although they wanted him there for this, they knew they couldn’t wait.

“So it’s today?” Owen asked.

“She’ll be showing up any time now,” Pete said into his phone.

“I wish I could be there, I just.. There’s so much I have to deal with here,” Owen replied.

“Don’t worry about it, there’s enough of us here. Do what you need to do.”

“I really hope it works,” Owen said. “I care about her, I need her to be alright, you know?”

“Listen, we’re going to do what we can to get through to her,” Pete told him.

“What if she’s high when she comes? What if she’s withdrawing? How are you going to handle it?” Owen asked.

“We had a few ideas, but I don’t think anyone had come to a decision.”

“I think I have an idea that could help,” Owen suggested.

“What is it?” 

--

Insult after insult got thrown towards Amelia’s colleagues. None of them really knew how to handle it. First it was lashing out at Addison, throwing her infertility and abortion into her face. It only continued from there. Violet’s attempt to talk to her only ended up with more unnecessary, rude comments. She was lashing out for sure, she felt like she was being attacked. These people were supposed to be her friends, and she felt like that was the last thing they were trying to be for her.

“Honestly Pete? All I have been able to think since I saved your pathetic life is ‘was it worth it?’ ‘Cause you’re kind of a tool. I mean, maybe saving you was a waste of my energy. Maybe it was a waste of my mad, mad surgical skills. Maybe you’re a waste of life. Maybe angel of death dude should call it a day, and swallow some pills yourself. What do you say? Cross on over to the other side? It would give your wife some great material for her next book and she’d love that,” Amelia said.

As she continued, she didn’t care. She didn’t care if the words she said were hurtful, she didn’t care about all of the stares coming her way from everybody in the room. She didn’t care that both Pete and Violet walked up and left. Clearly they couldn’t handle the truth.

Charlotte sat in silence. Of course Amelia found a way to bring things back to her, and one of the most traumatic experiences of her life. She walked towards the kitchen, looking at Pete and Violet. They had decided to go with Owen’s suggestion.

When Charlotte brought Amelia a water bottle, Amelia was definitely a little suspicious. She stood up by the reception desk, staring at it before setting it down.

“Bup. A nice little drug. You dissolve it in water. It’ll make withdrawal symptoms go away immediately. It’ll also prevent any drugs from getting me high for seventy two hours. Excellent work, big pharma has done us all a favour,” she commented.

Amelia was too smart for that. She wasn’t going to drink that. She didn’t want to. Everyone asking her to was irritating. She understood their concern, but she didn’t want it. She didn’t need them worrying about her. She was fine, at least that was what she told herself. They wanted her to get sober. She would stay, but she had one condition.

“Get me some oxy. Score me some oxy, and then I will stay as long as you want.”

-

After Jake stormed out in frustration while they discussed whether or not to give Amelia oxy, Charlotte pulled out her phone. 

“Who are you calling?” Pete asked.

“Owen,” she replied. “He couldn’t be here for it but he’s still important and he needs to be in the loop.”

Sam went after Jake, leaving most of them still in the small room still. Charlotte went through her contacts and dialed Owen’s number, putting it on speaker. All It rang a few times before Owen answered. 

“How’s everything going?” he asked.

“Not great,” Violet said.

“She wants us to give her oxy,” Addison told him.

“What? That’s crazy,” Owen said. “Please tell me you haven’t done that.”

“We’ve been talking about it, but we can’t all come to an agreement,” Charlotte said. 

“I vote no, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Giving her drugs? How is that productive?” he asked. 

“She says it’s what we need to do if we want her to stay and listen so we can help her get sober,” Sheldon explained. 

Owen sighed. That was the last thing he wanted to be hearing. He had hoped that the whole thing would have gone smoothly, not with Amelia telling them to get her drugs. He hoped that they wouldn’t enable her like that and give them to her, but he knew it was more their decision than it was his. He wasn’t there, he wasn’t seeing things first hand like they all were.

“I still think it’s a bad idea,” he said.

--

Charlotte sat next to Amelia, her phone held up to Amelia’s ear. Owen was on the line. He insisted that he get a chance to talk to her. He knew that Addison had gotten Amelia some oxy, and while he was disappointed by the decision he wasn’t surprised. He just hoped it wasn’t a big mistake.

“Amelia please,” Owen said through Charlotte’s phone. “Let them help you. You mean so much, not just to me but to everyone else there. You can’t let this addiction take away everything you’ve worked so hard for in life,” he said. “We are going to be there for you every step. I’ll be there for you,” he told her truthfully.

“Thank you,” Amelia replied in a monotone voice. “That’s very nice of you.”

Amelia pulled away from the phone and hung up before staring blankly ahead. Charlotte began to speak, and while she retained most of it, she was still high. There was only so much she was really soaking in. Sheldon took his turn, and things seemed like they were going well.

The moment Ryan came in through the elevator, everyone knew it was all over.

--

Amelia’s phone wouldn’t stop going off. Once Owen found out that Amelia had left the practice with Ryan, he couldn’t think about anything else. His focus was meant to be on Cristina and his mother, but he couldn’t. All he could think about was how badly he hoped she took something away from the intervention. He needed her to be okay.

From Owen: Amelia, please answer me. From Owen: Stay safe. Please. I care about you. From Owen: You know how to reach me. Call me or text me back.

The messages remained unread. Her phone was the last thing on her mind. She was just ready to get high one last time before getting sober. The intervention did open her eyes a little bit, and hearing everyone try to help Ryan made him open his eyes too. But neither one of them wanted that last little bag of oxy to go to waste.

It really was one last time. When she woke up, Ryan was dead.

Police and paramedics came through the hotel room. Amelia couldn’t do this anymore. When she told the police to call Addison, she reached for her own phone, seeing the messages from Owen before typing a few replies herself.

To Owen: Thank you for caring about me. To Owen: Ryan is dead.

Moments later her phone began to ring. She saw that it was Owen, and she felt a little relieved. After a moment she answered it, trying to tune out the commotion around her.

“Amelia.”

Hearing him say her voice was calming. It was good to hear a friendly voice while everything else was going on.

“He’s dead,” she said. “Ryan is dead.”

“I’m so sorry, Amelia. I know he meant a lot to you,” he said.

“He’s gone. He’s really gone,” she said. “I told them to tell Addison I wanted to go to rehab,” she sobbed. “I’m going. Ryan is dead and I don’t.. I don’t want to be next, Owen,” she told him as tears fell. 

It broke Owen’s heart hearing the way Amelia was crying. That was something he hadn’t really experienced much of with her yet. He had seen happy Amelia, angry Amelia, high Amelia, and drunk Amelia. But hearing her sobbing through the phone was awful. He understood loss, but he didn’t know what she was feeling. Nobody could know except her. Hearing that she was ready for rehab though, Owen couldn’t help smiling. That was big.

“I’m so proud of you. You’re going to make it. You’ll get sober, and you’ll begin to heal,” he said. “I’ll come see you once I’m back there, okay?” he asked.

“Okay,” she replied. “Hey Owen?” she asked.

“Yeah?”

“Stay on the phone with me until Addison comes, or until I get asked more questions,” she requested.

“Of course,” he replied.