#I could rant about so many thoughts I've had about this series and I just go and vent about the little shipping potential in my eyes

[triple-pupil]

Reporting three days into my Slugterra marathon to which I can't escape from.

It's funny how I Can't be able to see any pair of characters in this series and ship them, the series itself isn't romance-centered and there's enough Lore and action scenes that take My attention.

I thought maybe I could ship Blakk and one of his assistants like El Diablos Nacho or that one red haired guy that appears every now and then, maybe even with Will Shane. I also tried getting the ship vision for other characters but I can't get it, Even some that would attract me like Diablos Nacho x Brimstone, Eli Shane x Twist still need time to boil in my brain.

So in shipper desperation I searched and searched for any pair that would look cute kissing.

Anyways, I found these sillies.

[httpisaoki]

model! ningning x stylist! reader

(part of the billionaire! aespa series)

-> short drabble thingy cuz VERSACE NINGNING SAVE ME?!

you had been her stylist for quite a while now, taking care of her outfits and styling her the way any model could dream for. now, in ning's flirty and confident nature, it wasn't wrong to flirt a little right?

people would notice the look of pure happiness on her face whenever she saw you, hell, even you noticed. maybe she did have a tiny feeling that you were attractive, in her eyes, you were perfect. you had a good reputation, known for your impressive styling, being a former model yourself, you had taught ningning the basics when she was just starting. once she realizes her feelings, she would be in denial. i mean, no one could even reach her standards-- but how did you manage to get her flustered?

after pfw 2024, where she had walked the runway, she came back into the styling room with steam practically over her head. you wondered what got her so stressed, her eyes cold and angry. her mutters of, "That asshole shouldn't have said that," and multiple curses followed by a name, hyunjin. it amused you to think what could have hyunjin, one of her many persistent admirers in the industry, done to make her so upset. As she ranted in a fit of rage, completely forgetting she had an interview in less than 20 minutes, you stood there listening to every word, every emphasis on her anger towards the man. "ningning, deal with him later, okay? I need to get you dressed." you softly said, rubbing her wrist with your thumb as a sign of assurance. in a matter of seconds, her gaze turned soft, almost forgetting why was she so angry.

it was what she liked about you, your calmness, how you managed to make her laugh even if you only saw her for short times.

she nodded, embarrassment in her eyes as she realized that she had been rambling. "yeah, sorry about that." she muttered, a sheepish smile on her lips.

you gave her a look of amusement, chuckling at the sight. seeing her sheepish smile was adorable, and the fact that she had so much trust in you, was better. "it's alright, you just focus on your interview." you softly replied, patting her shoulder.

while you were getting her outfit together, you took the chance to ask her, "so what exactly did hyunjin do that got your blood boiling like that?"

she took a moment to gather her thoughts, before finally answering. "he's just… really annoying, you know? he keeps insisting that I should go out with him, but I keep refusing him. it's getting to the point where he's acting like we're dating to the press,"

she groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose in frustration. not only was hyunjin one of those persistent suitors, he was getting aggressive with his flirting, which had her blood boiling, and she just needed some way to release it.

you couldn't help but to feel pity for her, hyunjin was a known playboy, and she was clearly tired of him and his antics. the fact he was going so far, just to get the attention of one of the industries most well-known models, was funny.

it was getting him nowhere, and that was a good thing. "why won't he stop? does he really think this is going to get the attention of a girl as famous as you?" you asked with a laugh, trying to lighten the tension a bit.

"he really thinks he has a chance," she replied with a scoff, "he said he's going to take me out on a date after today, and when I said no, he said that the public deserves to know our 'date'." she rolled her eyes, her cheeks slightly flushed in annoyance. "he thinks I'm his girlfriend when I've already told him no multiple times. I just… I really dont know what he's thinking."

you hummed, scoffing at his ego. "I know it must be hard, but you do know that you can always report him to your agency and whatnot?" you give her a comforting smile, leaning closer to your lips before adding some blush onto her face. "he may think that he's all that but it's extremely annoying that he thinks that you'd actually like him." you rolled my eyes, fury in my eyes, making her chuckle.

her lips curved into a smile, she didn't expect you to be so protective over her, not when she was the model and you were the stylist. the fact he was so persistent, and how he had the audacity to call her his girlfriend infuriated her, especially when you were the one styling and taking care of her.

her gaze fell onto your lips, taking a moment to admire them before looking away. in that moment, all those times you helped her were all that kept rushing in her mind. she didn't expect to get infatuated with her stylist, but there she was.

as she stared down, her thoughts became interrupted as she suddenly felt her cheeks burning hot, realizing you had put blush on her. she gave a small giggle, trying to act like she was fine and normal, like you weren't noticing how attractive she was finding you. her heart was pounding as, out of nowhere, a spark of curiosity sparked in her mind. "c-can I tell you something..?" she murmured slowly.

"yes? of course," your reply was quick, wanting to know what she had to say. it may have been her first time asking you permission to say something, and you couldn't help but to feel your heart skip a beat. you could feel heat rise in your cheeks, making it slightly hard to hide a smile. you waited patiently for her to speak.

she paused, taking a moment to really think of how she wanted to say this. her eyes glanced to the side, her cheeks flushing as her heart raced. "what if i told you that i had a confession.." she spoke softly, the words catching in her throat as she struggled to get them out. she couldn't believe she was actually going to confess, especially after months of just ignoring her feelings. her heart was beating out of her chest, all while her mind screamed at her to do it, say it.

ningning hesitates, not sure on what to say, which in her point of view, was getting ridiculous because why was she so nervous? she breaks the silence with a sigh, a slight pause before finally saying:

"what if i told you that i liked you?"

[happyhauntt]

stay, i pray you — nikolai lantsov.

series masterlist | writing masterlist | askbox

─── summary: nikolai has a decision to make. anya makes it for him.

─── pairing: nikolai lantsov & anya kamenev (original character.)

─── warnings: takes place during seige & storm just after sturmhond reveals himself to be nikolai. angst, hurt/no comfort, pre-established relationship. this one's gonna hurt.

─── word count: 2.1k.

     "I've had an idea."

     The military encampment at Kribirsk is as familiar to Anya as the freckles on Nikolai's nose, the garden of her father's estate, the brittle ache of her injured knee. Crashing the Hummingbird had not been part of the plan — and her body had certainly not appreciated the impromptu swim in the nearby lake — but the First Army officers had recognised her and Nikolai, affording them all the honours of their stations and escorting them to the commander's tent.

     Anya hadn't felt all that comfortable with it. She may have been Lieutenant Corporal before her discharge, but it has become increasingly difficult to love the army that raised her while it serves the country that abandoned her. General Raevsky had once been her commanding officer. She and Nikolai had served under him on the northern border, oh, how many years ago now?

They'd both been green as grass, infantry grunts who'd never handled a rifle, never fired a shot or seen a battlefield begin to bleed. Raevsky greeted her like an old friend when they stumbled onto shore, asked how she was fairing as if he hadn't seen her only a few months ago, before she helped the Sun Summoner flee Ravka by smuggling her onto a ship bound for Novyi Zem.

     The tent Anya finds herself in is small but serviceable, with clean, fresh clothes laid out on the bed and a small plate of food waiting on the table. Nikolai disappeared shortly after their arrival, most likely to offer up an explanation to the commanders, but when he finally reappears, he finds Anya combing out the knots of her damp hair with her fingers, changed into a clean, loose shirt and army-issue trousers. She feels as if she never left the army and the thought makes her nauseous.

     "You have an idea?" She raises an eyebrow at him as he steps tentatively inside, allowing the tent flap to fall closed behind him. A playful smirk dances over her face. "Given that your last idea sent us crash-landing into a lake, I must admit I feel a little apprehensive."

     He huffs at her, an almost-chuckle that sends alarm bells ringing in her mind. A jibe like that would usually send him on a ranting spiral, fussing all about how his invention hadn’t been the reason they crashed and had, actually, worked exactly as intended for the majority of their journey.

     Teasing him is easy, and the way he smiles when she does sends warmth pouring through her. Seeing him so subdued is… troubling, to say the least. He hangs up his sword and crosses the tent to perch on the edge of her bed. His eyes remain fixed on the floor the whole time.

     Kneeling in front of him, she allows her fingers to graze over the bruise blossoming on his cheek. His eyes fall closed for a moment. "She really got you, didn't she? Our dear Sun Summoner has a mean right hook."

     "Believe me, I know. Scrappy little thing." Nikolai flexes his jaw and opens his eyes, and all once, Anya knows. It's written in the tiny lines between his brows and the quirk of his mouth and the ache in his eyes.

     "What is it?" she murmurs. Her fingers linger on his face, and he leans into the warmth of her, just slightly. Her knee protests, but she doesn't dare try to stand up. "What's happened?"

     He swallows roughly. "I've told you before, haven't I, about coming back here and helping Ravka. About fixing it before it's too late."

     Whispered conversations in a dimly-lit cabin flutter through her mind. Wishes pressed against her skin with kisses, hopes and dreams caught up in a lover's embrace. I could be better than Vasily, he'd said, and she had believed that, the way she believed the sun would rise in the morning. I could save Ravka.

     She hadn't told him the truth, then. She'd taken his dreams and folded them up into her own chest, to keep safe beside her heart, but she hadn't wanted it the way he did. Anya would sooner see Ravka burn. She cannot bring herself to feel mercy, not where this Saints-forsaken country is concerned. Not after it abandoned her when she needed it most.

     Now, she nods. A damp tendril of hair falls past her eyes. "I remember. You said you... you would find a way to convince Vasily to step aside, and your father would make you the heir. But it wasn't a plan. You said you didn't know how you'd do it, yet. Just that you wished you could."

     She may never forget it. The panic that struck her, bone-deep. The way his ambitions have haunted her ever since. He may not have known it then, but a ticking clock had been set that day. Anya never knew when their time would run out. Only that she would never be ready for it.

     He smiles, now. A rueful thing. There is no need to hide with her, no need to put on that winsome devil-may-care act he wears like armour. She is not a politician he can sway to his side, nor a danger he can charm his way out of, and yet he smiles at her. She is so beautiful, and soft, and she's not wearing her armour, either. Not here, not with him. There is nothing to smile about, and in a few moments it will all be different, but right now she is his, so he has to smile. He has to.

     He may weep, otherwise.

     "Kolya." Her voice is so quiet, barely more than a whisper, and he is so sure that she knows, already, without him having to breathe a word.

     His throat goes horribly tight, an invisible hand wrapped tight around his windpipe, as if that will stop his confession. His eyes flit to the roof for a moment. They start to sting.

     "Alina's power is the key to Ravka's survival," he says. Every word feels like lead on his tongue. "The Apparat has turned her into a living Saint, and the people love her. If I'm to make a bid for the throne and convince Vasily to step aside, it can't just be that I'm the best man for the job. That won't matter. But an alliance with the Sun Summoner might sway the odds in my favour."

     Anya watches him for a long moment. He holds his breath as time stretches, and eternity seems to pass before she even blinks. She withdraws her hand, allowing it to rest lightly on his thigh. The absence of her touch lingering in his face burns like a fresh bullet wound.

     He wonders if you can die from missing someone who hasn't gone anywhere yet.

     "An alliance with Alina." Anya narrows her eyes as the pieces click together in her mind." You mean—"

     "I'm going to ask her to marry me." His throat feels rough as sandpaper. "A political marriage, in name only. The game has changed and Alina is the only one who can level the playing field."

     He keeps talking, but Anya can hardly hear him. Her brain began to buzz with white noise the moment she heard the word marriage, as if her skull is home to a thousand angry wasps and someone suddenly decided to shake the nest. She can feel her blood rushing in her ears, her heartbeat thudding in her throat, but she doesn't dare give herself away.

     Anya Kamenev is a soldier, but she is also a future duchess. Her mother would be proud to learn that all those etiquette lessons didn't go to waste. Summoning a decade of training, her old governess' instructions rattling through her mind, her face remains delicate and empty. Not a muscle twitch or a quiver of her lip, not a hint of sorrow flashing in her eyes. She might as well be carved from marble. Her heart sits in her chest like a stone.

     "Nastya." The nickname he gave her in their army days is salt in an open wound. Nikolai reaches for her, grasps her hands in his as if she is all that can anchor him to this world. "I don't know what to do."

     "Of course you do." Somehow her voice is gentle, even though she feels jagged at the edges, like touching her might make him bleed. An instinct tugs at her, to curl her fingers around his own and hold him just as tight, but she can't bring herself to move. "You wouldn't bring it up to me if you hadn't already thought it through. You're a clever man, Nikolai. The cleverest I know, and don't let that go to your head. You know what you have to do now. You just want my permission to do it."

     Is it crueller, somehow, to ask for permission? To hand over her heart, and the knife too, as if that will make it hurt less when he carves it from her chest?

     A wet laugh bubbles out of him. "Trust you to keep my ego in check even now, Anya."

     "Someone has to," she says. She heaves herself into a standing position, wincing as her knee cracks and tiny bolts of lightning spike up her leg. "Although I think Alina will do a brilliant job. I don't mind handing over that responsibility to her."

     "Don't." Nikolai is on his feet in a moment. One hand remains in hers, his grip tight as a vice, but the other curls around the back of her neck. His thumb brushes softly over her cheek. The warmth of it makes her shudder. "Don't say that like you're going anywhere. I'm not sure I can do any of this without you."

     "Of course you can," Anya murmurs. Saints, she isn't sure the torture she endured at the hands of Shu Han's scientists hurt this much. If she closes her eyes, she can almost believe he's taken a blade and gutted her right here, like a fish on the deck of his ship.

     A ragged breath tears out of him as he says, "Alright, perhaps I can. But I don't want to."

     When he kisses her, it doesn't feel like a kiss goodbye. It doesn't feel like their last kiss in a thousand. There's a ferocity to him as he clutches her, teeth clashing, but that doesn't change the truth of it. He can hold her as tightly as he wants, but they both know she has always been smoke in his hands.

     “I would give you anything,” he says against her mouth, pressed together like hands in prayer. She feels his breath stutter against her tongue, hitched with a sob he will not set free. “Name it. Palaces and jewels, the moon, a temple built in your name, the heads of every man who ever harmed you served on a silver platter. Name it and it’s yours. Just stay.”

     Your heart. The tear slides down her cheek unbidden, and he kisses it away as he has done a thousand times before. She catches his lips with her own and kisses him again, fingers tangled in tendrils of his hair, still rough with saltwater no matter how many times he washes it. Your heart, your hand, a life with you away from this Saints-forsaken country.

     She’ll stay. She will, because Anya is a soldier, and though she no longer has any loyalty to Ravka, she still believes in him. And there is no pain in the world that could hurt more than abandoning him now, no matter how much she wishes she could.

     “Anything.” His voice, barely a whisper, a plea to those forgotten saints who have never seen fit to bestow a miracle upon them. “Anything, my darling.”

     He sinks to his knees before her, presses his forehead to her stomach. She leans and kisses the crown of his scalp, lingering a moment to breathe in the salt and sea of him. Ravka will never know how lucky it is to have a prince so loyal. She doesn’t know what they’d done to earn such devotion.

     “I know.” Despite the tears, her voice is deceptively still. Your heart. But he had already sworn it to his country, long before he ever loved her. “I want the same as you, Nikolai; peace and prosperity for Ravka.”

     He snorts against her stomach. His arms wrap tightly around her middle. “Liar.”

     “Always.” Pushing him away would not be the worst torture she has endured, but she worries it will scar her far longer than any blade could.

[writerthatcannotwrite]

TROP SEASON FINALE SPOILERS!!!!!

Elrond, my baby, my little guy, my poor soul.

DWARF RANT:

King Durin, may you rest in the Halls of Aule with honor.

I've seen a common theme in this series: people who had lost their minds, but found them in the last moment of shocking clarity that was (almost) their last noble act.

Celebrimbor, cutting off his thumb to escape (Which was very "I'm honoring my Uncle Maedhros" core, which I very much appreciate) and saying, "Whose will is the mightier?"

I can go on another rant about that phrase and the implications, but that was last episode.

King Durin III awoke the balrog, literally Durin's Bane.

Prince Durin and Disa's kiss was iconic, fyi.

Prince Durin tried so hard to help his father, but in the end, he couldn't stop him. Well, he alone couldn't stop his father; what truly set King Durin over the edge was the knowledge that his son might die. King Durin saw the balrog, something that he had willingly called forth, and went, "Holy shit, get the boy OUT". And how did King Durin get his boy out of the balrog's fire? He sacrificed himself.

Throughout this entire season, I have seen nothing but poor parenting from King Durin; he never listened to his son's advice; he literally shoved him away, and into a wall (My first thought was, "CHILD ABUSE!!! CHILD ABUSE!!!! GO GET DWARF DFCS!!!"). But here, we see the true affection King Durin had for his son.

The cataclysm that brought King Durin clarity was not anything his son could have done by himself, but the knowledge that his son was helpless. King Durin was not going to let his son suffer something of his own making, so he charged the balrog.

And then died.

HUMAN RANT:

Okay, so Kemen (I finally learned his name, unfortunately) needs to get off of his swampy ass and tumble into a grave. It'd be so simple; Isildur just needs to *grab by lapels* *shift three spaces to the right* *drop in hole*. Simple! Easy solution! Would the Valar be very happy? Probably not, but hey! We'd get rid of Kemen!

And I do appreciate Earien's technically treasonous act for her father; by now, she is a pretty prominent figure in Numenorean politics; the right hand of the king's right hand.

And you know what confused me?

The way Pharazon---I'm not calling him Ar-Pharazon, he doesn't deserve that---gathered up all of the RELIGIOUS LEADERS of the Faithful and said, "Yeah, sorry you're conspiring with Sauron, aka the DEVIL so you and all of the Faithful are to be arrested. Sorry."

One of the main things that always strikes a cord for me is religious freedom; when these wrongs are shown in this show, it makes me SO angry, because people should be able to practice their faith freely, regardless of whatever religion the government favors.

The sacking of Nienna's temple, the prosecution of the Faithful in earlier episodes, and now the legit imprisoning of people who are Faithful.

Recently, I have been reading "The Crucible" in class, and we have been discussing the causes and effects of mass hysteria, one of the contributing factors of the Salem Witch Hunts. I feel like there might be bought of mass hysteria going around Numenor now; the king/queen-ship is a major dispute, the Faithful are being arrested, major political and social leaders of the community have been imprisoned. People can likely accuse others of being Faithful (Even if they aren't) because of petty rivalries. In the Crucible, Mr. Putnam accused George Jacobs, his neighbor who had lots of land, of witchcraft, so that he would be able to purchase his land.

How many people in Numenor would face a similar dilemma?

Would Mr. Smith the Sailor accuse Mrs. Johnson the Tailor of being an Elf-Friend because her tapestries looked a little too much like those of Vaire? But it doesn't matter that Mrs. Johnson's only daughter is of marriageable age and Mr. Smith has had his eye on her. But who would be watching that if Mrs. Johnson was an Elf-Friend?

All of these factors are the most basic ingredient for a good ol' bought of mass hysteria; my English teacher doesn't watch this show, but I'm tempted to tell her the similarities.

then, to Isildur.

I thought Theo and Isildur's hug was very nice.

Theo was like, "Ah, yes, I shall bid my friend farewell after discussing the traumatic deaths of our mothers. I wish him well!"

And Isildur's like, "Why is the kid who hated me yesterday wanting a hug???"

I always got bad vibes from Estrid. I get swearing servitude to Adar in exchange for your life, I get that, but.

I never felt comfortable with her and Isildur's relationship. I get that she wasn't able to decipher her feelings for Hagen, her betrothed, until she met Isildur, but seriously. I also know that Isildur has an "unnamed wife" (SCREW THE NOT NAMING OF FEMALE CHARACTERS IT MAKES ME ANGRY), so I know he's gonna get somebody EVENTUALLY, and before Numenor sinks.

But then, Isildur and Estrid started MAKING OUT in Theo's kitchen. Like, bro. THAT'S NOT YOUR HOUSE!!!! Do that ELSEWHERE!!!!! Better yet, don't even do it!

And then, that slimy bitch Kemen had to stroll up, all, "Yeah, we'll put the watchtower there, knock down a few houses to do it." And then, he tries to be all buddy-buddy with Isildur, who obviously realizes that something is a bit off.

Then, Kemen drops the ball, saying that his father is wanted for treason, Queen Miriel is no longer queen, and "low men" are not allowed in Numenor.

First off: very classist of you, go kill yourself, Kemen.

Second off: Isildur learns that the woman he saved from the fire is no longer queen; is he thinking that his sacrifice, everything that he's endured in Middle Earth, has been for naught?

Third off: Kemen mentioned Earien. Does Isildur know that his sister has gotten a little racist in his absence? How will he react to seeing his sister betray their entire family by literally trying to put them all in prison (Anarion, Elendil, AND Isildur)?

Kinda happy that Estrid wasn't going to Numenor. Don't like the circumstances, but I'm glad that she isn't going.

I also think that Earien is coming to her senses; she might not have wanted Miriel on the throne, but now, Pharazon's tyranny is affecting HER. HER family is being prosecuted. HER father is wanted for "treason". HER people are at risk. Earien is getting a rude awakening to this thing.

I also think that its interesting how that guard left when Earien told him to; it shows how people in power are STILL defying the law in Numenor, all because, "Oh, she knows the king's son."

Of course, Earien did this for a good reason, but it still demonstrates the corruption of Numenor's political system.

Then, Miriel and Elendil. As I was watching this my mom, I was like, "Hey, do you ship it?" and she was like, "Oh, yeah" and I was like, "Good, my assumptions are not unfounded."

So yeah, Anarion, Isildur, and Earien are going to be getting a step-mom, good for them!!

What messed me up was when Miriel was like, "No Elendil, you must go, I will stay." Like Elendil (And us) were under the impression that she would remain with the Faithful; Elendil draped the cloak over her shoulders and she didn't flinch, she listened to his plan, but when the time came to make the decision she stayed. Frankly, I don't understand WHY, but go off girlie, I guess.

ELVES:

Okay, so Galadriel getting the refugees out of Eregion, I really liked; in cannon, Galadriel and many of Eregion's fled Eregion and headed south. Then, Galadriel gave up the Nine to save the refugees (Iconic, Queen Behavior), and we see Adar, leaning against a fallen tree. Is he injured? Is he hiding? Has his hand been conveniently cut off by some guy on an eagle? What happened?

After dismissing the orcs, Adar turns around. At first, I didn't see any difference (I'm not very observant, sometimes, alright?), until I looked a little closer. His face was no longer scared and burned; his hair seemed thicker, cleaner; he looked less gaunt. The ring had healed him.

And then, Galadriel asked for his name, but he evaded the question, like a little BITCH.

"Adar was the name I chose for myself" blah, blah, blah, bah, JUST SAY MAKALAURE YOU IDIOT!!! Sure, there are some details in cannon that don't line up (Maglor wasn't strung up on Thangorodrim, Maedhros was) but here's the thing: not only has trop changed a few things, it made some things more accessible.

In trop, Elrond and Elros were found by Galadriel after the Third Kinslaying, not the sons of Feanor. Celebrimbor was supposed to be tortured for TWO YEARS before his death. Celeborn is still supposed to be present.

I also have a cannon-probable idea for Maglor being Adar; in Maglor's trauma and grief at loosing his last and first brother, could he have not clung to his brother, in all aspects? Maglor may have curated this story of hanging from a cliff because that's what happened to his brother, that idea is what keeps him close. The things about being with the orcs and Sauron, I can't really explain for this idea. That's just about as far as I got.

But Adar WILLINGLY returned the ring to Galadriel, proving that he truly meant to defeat Sauron with elven help. But then, there is an injured Uruk nearby, and Adar goes to help; he might not even be able to heal him, but he will be with that Uruk in his last moments.

And then.

The Uruk, Glug, I think? leapt up and stabbed him. All of the others followed suit. It was a mirror to Sauron's own death in the first episode: betrayed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed---

You get the gist.

By the end, Adar is well and truly gone. He raises his hand to touch one of the orcs, his children, and calls them such, but the orc stabs him again, one, final time.

The entire situation is disheartening; sure Adar might have been willing to risk his "children" in his hunt for revenge against Sauron, but he cared about them, well and truly. In exchange, the orcs killed him for his kindness.

In the end, I really do want to know who Adar was before his chaining to a mountain. Did he have a family? People he loved? He must have come from Cuivienen, so he probably did.

I also wonder where he would go after death. Now that his hroa (Physical body) is well and truly... extinguished, where will his fea (Spirit) go? Do orcish fear (Spirit, plural) go to the Halls of Mandos, or somewhere else?

Adar looked vaguely elven; he could walk in sunlight, unlike his children. I feel like he should go to the Halls of Mandos; he did many terrible things, but were they not in the pursuit of good?

Then, Celebrimbor's death (These are not in the order of the scenes, just what I remember).

We see streaks of blood on stone floor, and we know something has happened.

Then, there's Celebrimbor, BEING USED AS TARGET PRACTICE, with arrows in his arms. Sauron stand over him, grim, and he wants to know where the rings are. They bicker and banter, there's some (un)healthy badinage, and Sauron STILL says that Celebrimbor's pain is HIS fault, that Celebrimbor brought this upon himself. Even though Celebrimbor is well and truly destroyed, Sauron STILL wants to have Celebrimbor guilt-ridden and full of self-loathing. It sickens me.

And then, Celebrimbor has something to say. He says, "forsee", and Sauron stops. I doubt Celebrimbor has had many visions of foresight, but the line of Finwe is not without them; did Miriel not have a vision of foresight to name her son Feanaro? Was Galadriel not gifted in seeing versions of the future? So it is possible, especially since Celebrimbor is SPOT ON. It WILL be one ring that brings about Sauron's downfall, and Sauron will fall. Sauron realizes this, and runs him through with a spear. Celebrimbor is lifted onto the pillar (Which is what I think we're going to get as the Celebrimbanner, unfortunately; I would have loved to see his cannonical death) and finally dies.

Then, Galadriel and Sauron's duel. Sauron turns into different people to try and fool Galadriel, but by now, she is used to trickery. He turns into puppy-dog-eyed Halbrand (Annatar was literally just Halbrand in a heat-damaged wig and shaved, Celebrimbor should have seen that IMMEDIATELY). Then, he's Galadriel herself, depicting her darkest, most evil deeds and desires. Then, Celebrimbor, mocking her for her retreat. Franky, I thought he was going to be Finrod as well, but alas, it was not so.

And then, he stabbed her with the crown (rude) and Galadriel, salty to the last, PRETENDED to give Sauron the ring. Very slowly, just to watch the pride and greed flash in his eyes, and then, "If I can't have it, then neither can you." Not what she said, but what she MEANT.

And girlie does and Elwing. Too many people in season two have dove off of cliffs; Elrond failed to beat the mama's boy allegations by jumping off a cliff with an object of power (In this case, three). And I was wondering if these guys actually thought that Ulmo was gonna come in clutch and turn them into birds. I mean, he did it for Elwing, so why not her son? Why not some other random person jumping off of a cliff?

In the end, Gil-Galad approaches (I'll get to that part in the beginning with Gilly and Elrond, hold on) and knows that Galadriel cannot be healed. She has the Second Age equivalent of a Morgul wound. It festers with dark magic and cannot be healed.

But who do they have?

THE healer!

The top dog of his graduation class from Lindon's School of Magical and Physical Healing!! Elrond Peredhel Earendilion whatever other name you give him! He's THE healer! Just standing there!

So of course, Mr. Healer is all dramatic, like, "No, we can heal her" through the power of friendship of course, and perhaps these magical rings.

I do think it's interesting how the rings will heal scarring and a Morgul wound; I think they only heal physical wounds, not those done to the spirit (Fea).

And then, we appear in a grassy, bright area, with Gil-Galad watching over Galadriel. He says that it is safe, a sanctuary made by the rings. This is, of course, the beginnings of Imladris, Rivendell, the Last Homely House. In cannon, Elrond and refugees of Eregion fled north, and founded Rivendell.

The river down the center HAS to be the Anduin, I guarantee it.

When the offer of the sword or shield pops up, I though that Galadriel would choose the shield; after all, this series is basically about how Galadriel went from a brutish, hyper-angry, traumatized elleth to a proud, wise, kind Lady of Lothlorien. I thought she would choose the shield, protect what her people had lost so much of, but she remains silent. Gil-Galad chooses the sword.

That scene of the elves raising their fists in defiance felt odd to me; even the children were seen raising their hands. Elves reach their majority at approx. 100 years, so what are these children, who have never seen battle and bloodshed except for that day, doing, wanting to wage war? It reminds me of Feanor and the unrest of the Noldor; a people that knew no bloodshed, and in their innocence, went to their deaths. It worries me.

Alright, one of my favorite parts: Elrond and the Scrolls.

Elrond, Gil-Galad, and Arondir are brough to a city square and we see orcs piling scrolls to be burned. Elrond, who is obviously a scholar, I mean look at him, is outraged. Not only are these the last ties he has to his cousin Celebrimbor, they also hold invaluable scientific information; it's like destroying the elven version of the Library of Alexandria.

Then, my baby boy Gil-Galad is at sword-point (Very scary, but I know what his doom is so I wasn't THAT scared), and just barely saved. Ngl, I had thought Arondir had died in Episode 7, so it was good to see him still kicking!

My favorite parts were Celebrimbor and Annatar's scenes and Elrond's dismay at the scrolls. I would also like to say that I think Gil-Galad slayed in every scene he was in.

Well, then. I must go google when Season Three is expected to show up.

[yogsandchaos]

I clicked on a video essay about the problems with mcrp by frostbyfreeman, and boy did I regret it, giant rant under the cut

I genuinely think the dream smp as a story and it's failings can only be done by someone who was a fan or at least had some respect for the series. Listening to anyone who doesn't try and talk about it is very...painful, like I'm sorry but the Hamilton homages were really good and fun and helped make sure everyone understood what was going on! I've been listening to the frostbye freeman's video on scripted minecraft videos and i am wincing at the incorrect details and honestly somewhat pompous takes on what counts as a good story.

Wilbur's writing was genuinely good and moving at times, and the smp hadn't hit it's BIG popularity yet when it super was leaning into the hamilton stuff so they still were mostly just goofing around and the scripting was a lot looser. Like he spent the entire opening gassing up the early more obviously scripted stuff as if there wasn't like 30 over a million views yandere simulator knocks via all the yandere highschools, it's the same thing!

By the time the story shifts into Technoblade's allegories the entire genre of the smp has changed from a goofy joke about countries that also tackled things of justice in the background, into a more tense action and espionage story that fits allegories better (which tbf i always thought were a little forced, tommy is not theseus at all really, techno has more in common but thats a whooole other rabbit hole)

Also head writer? Since when was Technoblade a HEAD writer, he wrote the stuff around his own character yes, but everyone else around that was being written by dream quackity and tommy after Wilbur stepped down! It was not or never was his goal to tie all of the dsmp into a cohesive story to my knowledge or according to anything I can find.

While he has some points about people fighting for attention, a lot of the arcs that went nowhere or suddenly pivoted or stopped were for a lot of reasons outside the server's management. While I am sad some things didn't get proper endings, their existences weren't problems or a sign of arrogance, it was people excited to tell their own stories. Some failed, some didn't, that's natural for a collaboration of this size, and while things could have DEFINITELY been organized better 100% its just how its going to go in a project like this that not everything is going to be able to get the attention and streams it needs, people have lives outside the smp and have other things to do or run out of ideas, it happens.

If anything I liked how everyone had their own lore! Everyone had biased versions of events or thoughts and opinions! No one needed to agree on everything because the inherent nature of choosing a streamer is choosing a bias! No one 100% knew the truth, and everyone who saw the same event came out with different interpretations! That's just how things work! Thats not a writing error!

You say none of it made sense but did you actually ask someone who cared about the series about it! People have spent so much time piecing everything together it's actually kind of insulting to flat out state that it makes no sense when so many people could just straight up tell you the entire timeline for their streamer, or of events, or how things led into each other!

God I hate the use of "if everyones the protagonist no one is" like first of all, pretentious as hell. Second of all, the point of the other streamers isn't to just be supporting cast but to ALSO have their own goals and desires, because all characters have goals and desires! While tommy is the quote unquote main character, everyone in the dsmp has clear goals or at least interests that make sense for them to go after! Do you expect badboyhalo and quackity and everyone to just do nothing while tommy's in exile? No! That's stupid and he is ALSO a streamer who needs a story to tell!

It would be completely immersion breaking and so much less real feeling if every single story and every action was just about tommy and if he's not in the area it just stopped until he got back! You can just admit this kind of format isn't for you! Lifesteal isn't "worse" because there isn't one singular main character, that's not how servers work! You pick your favorite and see their pov and how they see events unfold! It's not supposed to be an unbiased telling, it's one person in this world giving their biased and personal accounts! THIS KIND OF CONTENT HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE LIKE 2012 WITH HERMITCRAFT, IT'S NOT NEW!!!

"The dream smp's only lasting legacy besides the amazing countless fanarts is infecting all the wannabe content creators it spawned with a terminal case of main character syndrome." Oh fuck offfff, have you literally talked to anyone in this fandom ever? Songs, animations, cosplay, stories, and CAREERS were launched off the back of the dream smp "and that final folly" say you've never talked to an inniter without saying you've never talked to an inniter.

Genuinely the entire dream smp part of this video is insulting, misinformed, and lazy. Getting key differences wrong and presenting opinion as objective facts. The worst part? You can find every single issue in an old school scripted series. He spends the entire opening talking about the good days when minecraft roleplay was earnest and was well written and had meaning but like?

"its homage" every single yandere highschool series but especially the main og of samgladiator's

"it has too many main characters" mianite

"too many dropped plots" aphmau, just aphmau in general

"the lore is confusing" jurassic craft

in fact, you can sum up ALL OF THAT UNDER THE YOGSCAST

YOU KNOW?

ONE OF THE BIGGEST SOURCES OF THOSE SCRIPTED MINECRAFT EARLY ROLEPLAYS THAT GOT SO HEAVILY PRAISED AT THE START? SHADOW OF ISRAPHEL?

IT HASN'T GOTTEN WORSE AT ALL, EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM LISTED, IS NOT THE DREAM SMPS FAULT, BUT IT HAS BEEN THERE SINCE THE GODDAMN DAWN OF MINECRAFT ROLEPLAY!

Calling all of the dream smp, life steal, all of those smps "crude performance art" is genuinely the most disrespectful thing I've heard I just, how is this video not disliked into oblivion!? You say they've yet to change from genre to it's own medium of art, but that means nothing! That has no meaning! It is the same thing! The medium is just the place the story gets told, it's the lens the story is created with. Writing is a medium! Drawing is a medium! Painting is a medium! Minecraft smp videos are inherently in the medium of the minecraft program!

The utter constant disrespect of the genuine stories and tales people try and tell with minecraft, saying minecrafters have nothing to say, it's cruel! I can find you so many minecraft videos over an hour long that are poignant! I can give you so many stories about minecrafters handling tough themes! To dismiss it ALL as lazy slop is at worst a show of utter pure pretension, and at best a lack of understanding for the genre and a lack of research.

Why are you trying to engage with a minecraft scripted story as a FILM it's NOT A FILM and it is not TRYING TO BE A FILM, it's closer to a tv series! You say people cant be off their cellphones during a film, but you're BINGING something not MEANT to be binged! You are also engaging incorrectly! You would fail to grasp the merit of a podcast because people listen to them while doing other things! Each video he showed of parrot's has MILLIONS of views so clearly, this isnt a universal fact! you just do not like this kind of content! That is okay! It does not mean theres a secret sickness!

Genuinely every word out of this person's mouth makes me want to start biting, he calls the videos entertaining, then DERIDES THEM for not being "actual stories" and that "he needs to sit at the grown up table if he wants to be a story teller" like literally? what the fuck is wrong with this guy? Just because it's not fucking brokeback mountain doesn't make it not a story. A story is just that, a story! You can tell a story in three lines

"Once upon a time there was a dog named spot Spot had a nice nap about chasing squirrels before he woke up Then he went to chase squirrels before taking a nap again"

THAT'S A STORY, that's objectively a story! im being a storyteller! Its not a long story, it's not LITERATURE, but it is in fact. A story. Just because it's not the odyssey doesnt make it not a story! THAT'S HOW STORIES WORK. How can you deride a story taking place in minecraft...for being bound to the rules of minecraft? thats a part of the medium! YOU JUST SAID YOU WANTED IT TO BE IT'S OWN MEDIUM AND YET YOU CONSTANTLY DERIDE EVERYTHING THAT MAKES IT UNIQUE

The lack of self awareness, the lack of care, the lack of understanding why these videos get so many views, it's insidious, it infects every pore of this video. The premise is "i dont like something therefor its bad and im going to ramble about cinema to make me sound smart for saying that" and it's so goddamn blatant that he worked backwards from an inherent bias against a type of medium to condemn it as a whole without taking any real steps to question that bias!

Also the sheer nitpicking against "content creator" vs "storyteller" like i get content creator is an annoying term and everyone hates it, but its literally just shorthand for "makes something for other people to enjoy" like oh my god you don't need to treat it like it's this disgusting plague on the minecraft community. Like you ask why minecraft roleplays have to be scripted smps, and the answer is that some stories want to be told through that lens, while others want to be told through different lenses of what minecraft can be used for. You might as well ask why some people use pens instead of pencil or why people use fantasy instead of sci-fi for all the meaning that question actually has. It's either so benign it has no meaning to ask, or complete apples or oranges!

God, how am I only 30 minutes in. I don't even want to continue. This was only supposed to be me rambling about how the dream smp cannot be understood fully as a story from someone who refuses to engage with it on it's terms, but the sheer audacity of everything this video says is just...disgusting to me and I had to keep commenting on it.

For someone who talks about how important brevity is, this hour long video is full of boring unrelated nonsense that easily could have been cut, false dichotomies being drawn, and far too much time talking about stories you clearly dont want to give even a chance. It's just bad, it's the "why is minecraft boring now" video for minecraft roleplay where it demands it be something its not and never has been, and then throws a fit about it and about people who do like it and holds a nostalgia for something that has the exact same flaws and thus polishes into something Better.

As a story teller myself, as someone who enjoys minecraft roleplays, who has been watching mcrp videos since 2012, it's genuinely disgusting how little respect or care he has for the creators he talks about. As if those creators and all the people who like it are idiots while He is the only one with True Taste that everyone else must go up to meet. It's annoying as hell, and i regret clicking on that video

[totheseok]

seunghan thoughts because I miss him

so we've all seen that video where they were playing the huge jenga

and when it fell he reached to kind of break its fall so that it wouldn't hurt shotaro

so I'm imagining that like

it's really common that he gets hurt a bit in the process of helping others and then brushes it off

imagine he comes home after filming that episode, maybe he's staying at your place for the night, and u see a small bruise, scratch or cut on his hand and ask about it

and he's probably just like "oh it's nothing the jenga tower fell and I got hurt a bit"

btw if you've ever had even the normal sized tumbling tower fall on your hand that shit HURTS ok the amount of times I've gotten bruises and cuts from them *shivers*

point is he tends to put other people before him

he's definitely the type of person to start picking up the larger pieces of a broken glass while waiting for someone to get a broom, just so no one else gets hurt

even if he gets hurt in the process

:(((((((((((((

imagine his s/o, you, then taking care of him cus he always does it for others

side note I just KNOW he loves hand kisses

but he wants to take care of you :(

it's just a big adorable wholesome mess with both of you babying each other

he's also SO attentive

he'd definitely keep small things about you in mind

like maybe you mentioned a snack you liked growing up and this man goes out of his way to find it and mass purchase it (like an Asian dad)

or you mentioned a book that seemed interesting when u visited a bookshop while out with your friends

Trust he's bought every book in that series for you the next day

maybe u said u ran out of catfood

when he comes over the next day, he's got a bag of the catfood

and it's tye one you use cus he checked

10000% has a period tracker for you on his phone

stocks up on snacks, pads and heating pads a week beforehand in case it shows up early

definitely the type of person who doesn't want you to consume too many painkillers because of the side effects but he won't stop you when you need them

he definitely try to look for natural pain killer recipes (as someone with horrible cramps, boiling black seed in water and drinking the water while it's warm is a VERY effective pain killer)

he strikes me as the type to pay attention to what you don't like doing and tackles those things before you

like maybe you hate doing the dishes and so when sees dirty dishes he gets to cleaning them before you can even think about it so that you wont have to

he definitely listens to you rant about your favorite book or show

even if he hasnt watched or read it

he will always listen and he loves it

he'll listen to your theories about what will happen next

and listen to you rant about how the second lead shouldve been end game

he also knows all of the tea

like omg your friend's ex is texting her again

is it pineapple or orange?

its GRAPE?!?! no way

i could honestly go on about this for hours but i'll stop here for now

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - It's weird where I am right now, Okay?

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top. However, I've put quite a few on hold for travel reasons.

Oct 2023 Wk 4

Only a few screen shots for you this week, my hotel wifi is actually THAT bad.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) 1 of 8 - Classic unlucky in love failed crush on straight bestie = both v queer and v emo yaoi. I gotta say I like these actors way better in this than their previous series, and maybe that’s because Tew is more like Tul and I just like Meen better when he’s… erm… mean. All of which is to say, this is off to a wonderful start and I am about to lose my very sleep deprived little mind... ready for a ABL ecstasy rant?

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN.

"I play support because that way everyone is happy to see me show up," might be the single best moment of characterization BL has EVER seen.

Look here, in the grand cornucopia of BL universes this is my metaverse. It's pulp... but relatively high production. It has an established pair that I know I like... but who were given crap before. It's a tidy little script, it's not gonna run too long, and it's ALL the archetypes and tropes I love but rarely see. It's Japan's style otaku plus Korea's style gangster, Thailand's style friendship group, and it arrived out of NOWHERE. It's Korea's IP & money, Thailand's talent, and China's streaming service.

Do we know what the hell is going on?

No we do not.

Do we care when it's this much fun?

No we do not.

(In this I speak for everyone... no, EVERYONE.)

This show I why I got into BL.

Don't bother me with trifles. Me and My Dear Gangster Oppa are sailing off into the infinite pixilated sunset together, thank you very much.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - I managed to watch most of it on low rez before YT "discovered" I was in Asia and therefore could not be allowed to watch Asian shows. (AKA my VPN failed me.) But it seemed like a good ep.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Lucky Love ep 10 of 24 - I enjoyed this 2 part installment, it’s a bit of a sad sack recovery SAGA, but the acting is genuine, the couple believable, and the story felt particularly queer to me. 7/10 but close to an 8. It was really quite charming.

However: Next week looks not good on many levels - it's horror and I spotted guitar. Which is even more horrific. 

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - do temporal paradoxes exist in Thailand? That is the question. I gotta say Tor (Ongsa) is carrying this show and is doing a really great job, it's just the story itself doesn't resonate with me. Ugh it's so sad.

Is it, indeed, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

We only on ep 5 and had a full story arc already, there is A LOT more to go.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 9 of 10 eps - the fact that in losing Sky Venus also lost his surrogate family explains his resulting bitterness a little bit more. I wish we had gotten this back story much earlier. Still stupid pulp made me cry, which of course means it's back in my good books. This story is slow as fuck, but I'm going on a rollercoaster with it.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 11 of 13(?) - I love them, okay? All of them. This is a great sappy classic Taiwanese BL and it is my baby and you can’t take it away from me. MINE. 

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Viki) eps 8 of 10 - oh noes it got sad, I thought they would at least would have had drunken sex before the drama. Sigh. Still the kissing was good, as it should be from Taiwan.

If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) ep 4 of 5 - Amane is so brave. About being gay. Being out. Confessing. Its admirable if scary. Otherwise this ep was pretty slow. 

Bump Up Business (Korea Gaga) 3-4 of 8 - how do I feel about this show? Conflicted. Are OnlyOneOf doing a great job? Yes, actually. Am I enjoying it? No, not really. Is this anyone's fault? I don't think so.

The little linguistic negotiation was cute tho. And we seem to have gotten idols kissing in a BL both in the same group, so that glass ceiling dildo has finally been broken.

NineMill are unexpectedly good, also KB plays a great evil ex. Of the 3, I think only Nine is good enough to go into acting permanently (but he's not tall enough). Still, all hail OnlyOneOf... kings of the "gay concept." You boys make me v nervous but as couple-branding goes, you just out branded Thailand. Mad props baibies. Legit never thought I'd see the day.

Trust Korea to be in it to win it.

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 6 of ? - i pretty much just forgot to watch this.

It's Airing But...

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 8 of 12 - I will try to watch and do a series review in November but... not sure I will be able to. Fingers crossed.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 8fin - completed but I couldn't catch the last ep, my final thoughts in Nov.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 12 fin - completed, but see afore mentioned YT issues. I'll review it in Nov. I anticipate better internet soon.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. 

Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) - adaptation of Harada’s manga of the same name (which I did not like) about a convenience store clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.

Next Week Looks Like This

Upcoming October BL

10/31 SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 1 of 14 - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

Upcoming November BL

11/3 Twins the series (Thailand ????) 1 of 10

11/17 Pit Babe (Thai) - Pavel my love!

11/19 Bake Me Please (OhmFluke but not, Thailand)

11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Thailand) - horroresk

11/25 The Sign (Thailand) - horroresk

11/30 For Him the series (Thailand) - high heat

VIP Only (Taiwan) - may be delayed/canceled

Cooking Crush (OffGun, Thailand) - may be delayed, there some kinda gossip/rumor/shade happening at GMMTV

Wuju Bakery AKA Space Bakery (Korea) - this one may be DOA

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My Universe - I just enjoyed the angle of this kiss shot.

Uh huh. Sure, honey. (Bump Up Buisness)

COULD THIS EXPLAIN THE SNUFFLE KISS?!!!!

(Last week)

[katyspersonal]

Here’s a triple whammy, Midra, Messmer, Rellana for the character bingo pls?

( @izunias-meme-hole )

Ohh bitchin'

God I just.. I will have to try to not turn it into an essay for your SANITY (ba dum tss) but in simplest terms possible, this was THE peak DLC experience for me. The Abyssal Woods already were super interesting and atmospheric, as well as learning that Midra is a NERD with so many books all over his Manse. But like.. the battle already captivated me a lot. It was just.. so well-done in every aspect. The music, the movements and attacks... No boss ever deserved the staple "battle feels like a dance once you get into it" praise more than this guy. ;-; I already was not normal about Frenzied Flame in general, but this just dhfssdfg It was so well executed god. Remember being OBSESSED with his music theme, also the first character in a while to make me often check his character tag on Tumblr. @val-of-the-north won't let me lie, I was literally drooling thinking about him in the first few days after that fight and could not think of anyone else @_@

Also I really enjoyed digging further into his story and motivations, what happened here with the Three Fingers and Nanaya. Analysis of the whole SoTe for me. This brand of despair also appeals to me at all, especially when it is tied to you and your associates being hunted like heretics (only the old ones remember!!! XD). Funny enough, just the day before I've met him in the game I've had a very unique mental breakdown where I was ranting like a madman about how much I've tired of holding the horrors and pain inside and how I wanted to just give up and unleash it. I can't get into too much details, it was very personal, however the phrase "May chaos take the world" was stuck in my head all along! And Val mentioned that 'interestingly enough, a theme like this IS addressed in SoTE' + 'you kin one of the characters for sure' so... yeah, that was something. I needed a character like this quite a lot :')

Messmer is AWESOME!! I do not obsess actively but rather just reblog the fanart and stuff that gets on my dashboard, but there are SO many things I said as my thoughts about his and Marika's relationship. And now I have even more to say! You could tell I love Midra more, but Messmer offers infinitely more to talk about and explore! And, god, his charisma, having attracted so many intelligent people to join him and even accept his serpentine nature (apparently a big no for people in the setting for some reason fdjjfds). Also one of the best designs in the Soulsborne series EVER. Also it is his voice actor's DEBUT! Literally HOW????? sfhdjhsdhgfdshds

It IS, for sure, hard to talk about him and not touch upon MANY other characters as he is tied with them so much. Marika, Melina, Fire Knights (especially Queelign), closest Black Knights that ditched him, Rellana, Gaius, Winged Snakes, god knows who else... I love how many relationship he has, but also what interesting potential he opened for exploring the lore with Abyss, Base Serpent and potentially Fell God! He is so many things. And I think this is appropriate how hard it is to discuss him outside of his relationships and curses... It is just like the character himself: having his life and purpose in it basically predefined by a curse he had no control over and his mother, and being a scourge or an idol for others, but barely being a person on his own... Discussions about him are JUST like him, you see what I mean? This also makes me emotional.

I do not have that many headcanons about her, but I am proud of those that I have! x) There is always the room to create more of course! Ok naturally 'everyone else is wrong about them' is not meant to be taken seriously fdshfhds But a big cornerstone for understanding her was the description of her swords referring to Moon and Fire having always been together in Japanese original script, which is just the sentiment from Sword of Night and Flame! So I can no longer see her as huge Erdtree/Marika simp at all, but instead as someone who, although without any hard feelings for her sister's choice, believes Cosmic Sorcery and Fire should be together (again) which makes me look at other takes like:

Just the curse of getting brain hard-locked on your interpretation fdshfhds On another note, I fucking LOVE her design, I am NOT able to enjoy any other armour anymore and just want to wear hers all the time fhhfsd 'Silly' because Twin Moons IS a silly concept, as well as cosplaying Sulyvahn XD ...but also because I see her as silly and fun person, to contrast Messmer's emo vibe x) Smug about kicking asses too! She gives me this strange feeling too, like... I can accept most of the bosses having to die for the plot and narrative, but thinking about her getting killed actually upsets me! She is an optional boss and should STAY as such. #rellanaplslive

[miabebe]

Hi,

Okay, so, this is just random but I've been obsessing over jihoon recently, been losing my mind and desperately trying to look for fics admiring the man that he is but I can't find many, and so I'm genuinely really excited for your where you're convenient jihoon fic and also more jihoon scenes in camp seventeen because, I need to simp over my man. Also, please let me know if you know any good fics that would drive me crazy for jihoon, and well, just worship him. I love that man.

Also, I totally agree with tumblr user todayiscloudyday when they said that the houses were so well described. The character descriptions were literally so good that I read both the prologue and the character descriptions multiple times before the 1st chapter came out. The houses, their companions, the symbols, their jobs, I have to say, you've really done such an amazing job with them.

Anyway, I just came around to rant about my woozi brainrot and also to let you know that I am genuinely excited for your upcoming fics. I also want to let you know that you don't always have to answer my asks (considering you probably receive many and could be busy), I just send them in so you know that I appreciate your works.

MY FRIEND I UNDERSTAND

Especially after lollapalooza him in that denim on denim fit with nothing under like??? That was insanity, it had me thinking about him for days T.T

As for where you're convenient for Jihoon ahhh that's not on my to do list any time soon unfortunately - I have so much to cover for camp seventeen and reverse tropes and also my Changkyun mafia series, its sadly a little low on my priority list :( But camp seventeen Jihoon hmm you might be able to see a little of him in chapter 2 hehe

Thank you my love, I really did pour a lot of thought into those so I'm glad you've been enjoying them! And it's absolutely fine, I do love to receive and answer any and all asks you send, please never worry about that! I'm always so happy to have you around ❤️

As far as the Jihoon fics are concerned, I've not actually been reading much since I stared writing more often, but I will drop links to some of the ones that were memorable to me under the cut!

@cheolism - Oh, Agony! - I've told Jupiter this too, she's insane for this cause never had I thought I would read smut to Oedipus Rex??? I love it, the build up in this is real good

@hoshifighting - This fic by Lyla goddammit, she's so amazing with her work, I loveee this one for Jihoon, the development of what they share is *chefs kiss*

@onlymingyus - I want to write you a song - Mars is such an exceptional writer, this is truly one of her finest - I need everyone to go to her inbox and leave her the nicest words asap!

@the-boy-meets-evil - A new home for the holidays - This is one of Jess's sweetest stories, the progression is soooo nice! and I'm a bit of a sucker for holiday romance hehe

@eomayas - never lose me - If you want some good ol' pwp I really like this one by Kay! They're so lovesick, ugh it's so good T.T

[ellooo0ooo]

So I'm at episode 5, and I don't like it... I don't like it one bit. I fucking skip through it.

First of all it's FUCKING out of nowhere: the Five and Lila thing, whatafuck????????? They try to showcase that "OoOOHhhH they've been with each other throughout the timeline" shit and "OooOOOOHHH There's only two of them ALONE... eehhhh??? Eehhhhh???" Type of shit like any other trope of fucking montage to showcase the "chemistry" the "love" or the "progress of their intimacy"

Let me tell you... It NEVER works!!! I've seen it in many series, movies where they show the character's falling in love in just one or two scenes or so on!! It never will because it's obviously FORCED! IT'S OUT OF CHARACTER for Five and Lila!! Especially FIVE, bro he's the one that told Lila how Diego actually loves her and gave her a quick reality check in SEASON FUCKING THREE!!

HE, Five helps HER, Lila go with the thought of "Hey, the thing you doing? It's bad. I know you're hurt and betrayed, and something is going on, but Diego actually loves you. You idiots love each other, so don't go down in that hole of being THAT."

Their Frenemies Dynamics are already so good!! It's so fun to watch, and I love it!!!!! Then they try to change it, making it romantic??? Why can't there be any relationship between two people and maintain as IT IS?????? I was fine with the misunderstanding about Lila having an affair, but not really. The conflict is already fine it's established, and they don't need to go downhill!!!

The "love triangle" they're going for is out of pocket and pull out their asses!!! They only have SIX, SIX FUCKING EPISODES for their final season they could make it more worthwhile, that plot of them going in the subway and go through timeline is already in shambles. Lila said, "Go back in time and make no contact for the two Ben and Jennifer." They only did one scene that "oof this is wrong alternative timeline. This is pHoENiX aCAdeMY." and they NEVER GO through that again!!! Instead of having montage of searching through right timeline they go and have a FUCKING montage of the two of them having sOmEThiNg. Then stops and go have nice life and leave their family. They give up, and I get it. They're tired and had enough but it's so out of character for Five Fucking stuck in the apocalypse Hargreeves. For 48 years stuck in the apocalypse, he did everything he can and survived to go to his family so he could save them from the end of the world. Which is also the case here!!! It's the end of the fucking world again and then he had someone on his side that could help him he finally gives up?????? Because LoVEeeeeeEE, that'sso rushed and all of a sudden????????????

And one more thing... Lila is still FUCKING married after all of that. She's still married to Diego, Five's BROTHER. She just said to him before the memory thing "Yo let's take a break." And VIOLA!! Diego tried to talk, and she stood by she said and I'm fine with that, really. But poor Diego, I feel sorry for him. Even though Lila said she still love him they had no proper PROPER conversation. ALSO SHE HAD A FUCKING FAMILY!!! She's a mother of her daughter and a twin. Like, did they think of that???????????? And Five had a fucking audacity of "I took care of you, I'm here with you he's not." Line type of shit???? It's so out of character of him.

And don't talk to me about the fucking plot of this final season...

For him, at least... thank you for listening for my rants.

[kiyoitiepie]

My Favorite BL Dramas of 2023

happy new year to everyone who uses the gregorian calendar. we had so much good content come out this year. i'm gonna list my favs. please remember these are my personal faves and may be objectively terrible. do not be alarmed.

My Beautiful Man S2 and Movie

If you ask me this series is one of the best bls of all time. idc idc. im a hira and kiyoi girlie through and through. how many bl's do you know with 2 seasons and an original movie. not those repackaged ones that they try to hand feed us. an actual movie with a plot???? the bar is on the floor clearly. but hira and kiyoi are gonna surpass that bar every. single. time.

Love Tractor

I didn't hear enough people screaming about Love Tractor. crickets tbh. Which is blasphemous in my opinion. How could you be quiet when this lovely bumbling himbo with the dopiest grin is on your screen? look at him!!

Eighth Sense

10's across the board. No question. No notes.

this scene^ BROKE me

Our Dining Table

Ok hear me out. I didn't think this was the best bl in the world BUT it was so wholesome that it deserves a spot. top tier comfort show. It got me through many bad days. Admittedly, there were a few times I purposely put it on bc i knew it would put me to sleep. please don't jump me.

Unintentional Love Story

Now...I'm not a huge kbl person. However, this was really nice. Had a solid plot. I don't remember much abt it but I know there was pottery and I had a good time

Only Friends

This was culture. This was a movement. I will never forgive them for how they treated Boston. Even still, I was there every week ready for the chaos. I had the time of my life.

Bed Friend

It's hard to believe this came out this year. Like ??? But really that shows how much I've established this show as a classic in my mind. BED FRIEND? UEA? baddest bitch in the land?? KING? greenest flag out there???? (debatable but for the sake of my argument lets pretend). It had every element. good plot, great visuals, a little heat. like come on who else is doing it like them?

i just know if me and uea were ever in the same room he would judge me so much

Dangerous Romance

I've seen mixed reviews on this one but I had a fun time. Kanghan is a prissy little spoiled brat, but he's my prissy little spoiled brat. I loved their story progression. Which is saying a lot for me bc I don't like enemies to lovers. like why are we fighting? also "i'm an introvert" is the funniest shit i've heard all year.

La Pluie

this was so shockingly good i wish it got more attention. iqiyi in general really did their big one this year. when it rains you can only hear your soulmate? love!

Laws of Attraction

this was a rollercoaster. i started watching ironically because i thought it would be terrible when i saw the mc go super saiyan. that shit is still hilarious idc.

Love Syndrome III

Now before we start throwing tomatoes...let's hear me out. Nothing has caught my attention this year the way this series did. This was another series I was watching ironically until suddenly i wasn't. It's also just so funny that they released the third one without dropping a first or second. but bad bitches don't need to explain themselves. and YES love syndrome is a bad bitch. let's stop acting like we watch bl's solely for the quality. i don't need marvel cgi to have a good time. sometimes a dollar store wig and the most toxic couple you've ever seen is enough to make some shit shake. if this was released during the tharntype era??? oh bitches would've ate it up. HAPPILY. rant over.

Last Twilight

it's good man. what more can i say? i hope it doesn't disappoint me in the end.

Pit Babe

i'm very pleased. very much so. i know alot of folks went into this show expecting a little teehee. to laugh at the omegaverse racecar show. NOT ME. i've waited for this moment. and anyone who's seen me screaming in the tag can attest. this is a game changer. not just for bl but the fandom community at large. and don't even get me started on their chemistry. babe's smile whenever he's around charlie?? mama and papa?? MAMA AND FUCKING PAPA?? we deserve this and i will bask in it for as long as I can. jeff had better be pregnant by the end of the show.

^ that’s his charlie smile 🥲

[freehideoutpuppy]

Ok so I've briefly touched on this, and I've done some reblogging of some other people's posts about it but I've decided it's time I add my own thoughts on Midoriya using Deku as his hero name.

Personally, I think it's one of Horikoshi's biggest failures in the early part of the series. We get glimpses of Midoriya's mental health being shit throughout the series, and the name Deku and his mistreatment by his peers and even his teachers pre OFA is pretty damn bad.

So, while I do understand what Horikoshi was going for with having Midoriya claim the name Deku as something different, it still feels wrong. Especially when adding in the context of how Uraraka just bulldozed over it being an insult that his freaking bully called him to be awful. And maybe if Bakugo had actually gotten REAL consequences for his actions or moved to 1-B or something, I wouldn't have as big an issue with it. But damn Bakugo has treated Midoriya like crap in every flash back we see. And has been a constant negative presence in Midoriya's life the entire time. And that, along with Bakugo being the one to give him that awful nickname in the first place, drives me crazy. Horikoshi has had so many missed opportunities and made a lot of choices with character development that leave me scratching my head in confusion. And about 90% of those decisions have something to do with Bakugo.

But I'm getting off topic a bit. During the war arc we really see Midoriya spiral and a big part of me actually enjoyed it in some ways because it was the first time we really get to see Midoriya behave in the way that's indicative of how he and heroes have treated by society as a whole. He believes wholeheartedly that he needs to hunt down AFO and Shigaraki alone because that's how All Might has been presented, and he has to live up to that pressure. He fully believes that his life is worthless and that he's only useful if he's doing everything he can to protect others even at the cost of himself. Which all comes back to Deku. I fully believe that Midoriya still feels like as a person he's worthless, and that's why he really chose Deku. Maybe he hoped that he could change the meaning of it now that he has OFA, but I think deep down he believes otherwise. We've seen that throughout the manga and anime. He consistently broke himself when he realized someone more powerful than him or who had a quirk from childhood was in danger. At the USJ, when he tried to attack Shigaraki, who was trying to dust Tsu. When he attacked the Zero pointer during the entrance exam so it wouldn't crush Uraraka. When he launched himself at Shigaraki to protect All Might. When he and Todoroki fought in the sports festival and he irreparably damaged his hand. There are so many instances of this kid letting himself be hurt by others to protect someone else, and he has zero regard for his own life. It's pretty heartbreaking, honestly. It's a big contributor to why I stopped reading the manga at this point. Well, that and Bakugo's deus ex machina, but well, it's bakugo, and I hate him, so that shouldn't surprise anyone who has seen my rants or knows me irl.

But yeah, I both loathe and understand why Midoriya went with Deku as his hero name. That doesn't mean I agree with the decision, but I understand it.

[idolomantises]

talking abt that one thing in velma thats on my mind a lot for the past few days (that turned into a big incoherent rambling about gay rep in media)

i'm seeing jokes about how the queer representation in mystery inc being so much better than the queer representation in velma and honestly it makes me want to go on a whole tangent about my thoughts on queer representation nowadays vs the more subtle examples decades prior.

There's this weird debate that goes on online about what is "good" queer representation, and one of the most notable and honestly annoying examples is that queer representation has to be so subtle that you could easily miss it/ignore it. i've always hated that take because its a claim mostly said by straight people who are uncomfortable with seeing characters who are openly queer and/or state their identity, but they present it as some sort of push for subtle and nuanced writing. personally i do prefer it when a character just, identifies as how they are without explaining their identity, but that doesn't mean flat out explaining your orientation is inherently bad representation. its why i will always defend the very clunky and awkward high guardian spice scene. it is absolutely poorly directed and written, but that doesn't make it "bad representation". however, I do consider the character who explains that he's trans bad representation because he is flat, uninteresting and very clearly a creator self insert. he doesn't feel like a well rounded character who's also a trans man, but just an incredibly sanitized example of trans representation.

i have many, many issues with helluva boss/hazbin hotel and i do genuinely find some depictions of queer characters just flat out offensive (you can argue with me about how angel dust being written like your average 90s gay stereotype is woke actually because he has trauma, i dont care), but i do admire and appreciate that the series doesn't want to sanitize its queer characters, even if its done poorly. though i could go into a whole rant about how i find it very telling that female characters that are queer are far less sexualized or allowed to be problematic compared to their queer male counterparts.

anyways back to velma. that show does something that i've always found pretty irritating in queer representation which is just this weird lack of faith in its audience. characters can't have a slow burn anymore. internalized thoughts, anger, frustration, longing. you have to immediately know that two characters are gay for each other, even if they're lifelong enemies. its like when modern horror movies open with the gore because they're scared people are going to be bored or leave early. there's no subtlety or chemistry between daphne and velma, they're just lovers because idk, its two girls who hate each other and who doesn't love that.

then i think about how mystery inc handled velma and her sexuality, how she was allowed to be well rounded and nuanced before you slowly realize that "oh, she doesn't like boys". i know her whole thing with shaggy is controversial among fans but i always loved how she does do something pretty unlikable but not immoral. yeah, it is shitty to force shaggy to choose between her and his dog, but i can understand her line of thinking and empathize with her. and i do like how they become friends in the end despite their awkward break up. It's always fun rewatching it and realizing that their incredibly awkward and cringe relationship was meant to be awkward and cringe. it was supposed to be weird and difficult to watch, because those two weren't meant to date each other. you could see how hard velma was trying to make the relationship work despite the fact that you never get the vibe that either character was full invested in it, unlike daphne and fred's relationship.

then you had velma and her relationship with marcie, which started off as sort of a catty rivalry (not full on attempted murder, i mean holy shit hbo velma) that slowly grows to where you're completely convinced that these two did gradually like each other. and i do really enjoy stuff like that, more subtle writing like that. which doesn't just apply to queer rep btw, my favorite ships are relationships that feel understated, something you have to really dig for and pay attention to. its why i consider bubbline the best f/f representation in cartoon. because its subtle, but not too subtle where it feels out of no where when they kiss, and nuanced in ways that enhances the relationship AND characters.

there's a good amount of relationships i see in cartoons where the creator, who is usually queer themselves, often wants to depict queer relationships, but is weirdly adverse to depicting the uglier aspects of that character, and refuses to add subtlety to it. steven universe is a show i've always felt conflicted on its handling of queer representation because on the one hand i appreciate writing lesbians that are messy, traumatized and make constant mistakes. but on the other hand, the show goes out of its way to ignore these issues and/or make excuses for it, making the decision to make these characters messy and complicated genuinely baffling (this is also one of the big issues i have with catradora and stolitz).

it makes me think back to my own work too. i really enjoy making fluffy, easily digestible gay content for my followers and myself because it puts me in a good headspace. But even now and then i like exploring those little nuances too, because i don't really enjoy stories with little conflict. Because of that acknowledgement of how satisfying it is to write fluffy, queer rep, you end up putting yourself in other creator's shoes. you're so used to media that either dehumanizes gay people or tells people that they don't exist that you push yourself to make the most in your face queer rep you can but its at the cost of an interesting and subtle characters. characters that don't really have arcs or places to learn and grow.

With bugtopia i made a joke about how i want some of my queer rep to feel like you're being queerbaited. It's not literal, obviously, but mixed in with characters who are already married and in same gender relationships, i really want to write dynamics that feel subtle enough for a bit of a slow burn. even if you know they're going to end up together, to at least value the characters on their own before centering them on their relationships. queerbaiting is something that deserves all the criticism it can get, but it is embarrassing when queerbaiting feels genuinely more interesting than actual queer rep because queerbaiting has that factor of "maybe they won't get together" that adds that bit of intrigue, vs so many shows that repeatedly hammer in your head "don't worry guys, they're gonna be lesbian lovers".

mystery inc (and many other shows) being forced to keep a relationship obvious while subtle to get through censorship really forced creators to be creative with their storytelling and not center characters around their relationship and identity. but nowadays i think shows like to take the easy way out. for me, i always thought the most impactful example of queer representation in steven universe is "Rose's Scabbard". I genuinely don't enjoy that episode because it's a good example of the show thinking that trauma is an excuse for shitty behavior, but i cant deny that an entire episode of pearl breaking down and finally accepting that she wasn't the center of rose's world. it's the crew being forced to be creative and push through censors to telling a compelling story about a traumatized lesbian slowly realizing that she basically deluded herself into thinking she was someone's savior.

I think it's silly to try to place good queer representation in one box. like subtle queer rep is good, but also queer rep where a character flat out states that their gay. where I think it falls apart is when it either reinforces stereotypes without properly deconstructing or expanding on them, makes the characters so overly kind and non-controversial that the relationship is just boring, or try to make your messy and complicated characters but the narrative refuses to hold them accountable or at least acknowledge that they're doing something wrong. and to clarify on that last part, i'm not asking for some hays code nonsense where every bad person goes to prison and/or promises to stop being a bad person again. i mean the narrative doesnt just fucking sugarcoat their behavior. i don't want to see helluva boss ignore the fact that stolas made blitzo call him out for only using him for sex and then pathetically rush to justify their relationship by giving them a bizarrely sanitized and sweet backstory. and i don't want to see catra literally end the fucking universe and only do something good because she's straight up out of options and the show just decides that that was her redemption and she doesn't need to do anything to atone for what she did (including repeatedly abusing and verbally berating adora).

anyways velma has none of those interesting qualities and i'm pretty sure daphne and velma kissed because the creator is a weird pervert who thinks two girls kissing is hot.

[regulusrules]

Hi! Okay so you seem like a very well-read person and I’d love to know if you have a list of your favorite Merlin fics. I just bookmarked all the ones you recommended in relation to the 10 best episodes and now I need more! I’m going on a training camp and would love to have something fairly long to download to my kindle so I can read on flights and when I don’t have data 🥰

Thanks so much in advance!

(Also, I LOVE your writing, I’m so glad to be part of this fandom with talented people like you!)

Hey! Thank you so much for your kind words! OF COURSEE I'd love to recommend you some fics! Likewise— the creativity of this fandom never ceases to amaze me :)

*cracks knuckles and pretends my eyes aren't lighting up rn because my time has finally come*

Long fic recs (50K-100K+)

1. to the world that never let you be by ImperialMint. Look. I'll hand out my own throat so willingly to any scar reveal fic. The trope is just so dear to my heart, and this one in particular was something else. It broadly covered every single feeling you might be looking for in a Merlin fic, and its characterization of both Arthur and Merlin was top tier. I basically sell my soul to any fic that does justice to their characterization, and this one did so much more than that.

2. What I'd Have Done by @flight-of-fantasy. I solemnly swear you will never read something like this fic. I read it in one day from how on edge I was all the time. I had to recount it to my friends in the timespan of three hours because of how much screaming and dramatic pauses there was. Simply, the brilliance of plot here is unmatched. Arthur's characterization as a strategist shook my innards, and Merlin's unapologetic nature was chef's kiss. It's so hard not to give away the plot while recommending this so just.. just read it.

3. Redemption by flakedice, Zerda. Soon, you will find a parallel post to the best 10 episodes with the worst 10, featuring first and foremost The Disir. Honest to God, I could literally go on ages ranting about how much agony this episode brought me. It was the blow that awoke my eyes to the possibility of fuck, this show isn't going to end well. I once thought about shitting on that episode like I did with 5×13 in My heart is readily yours, but fics like these hold me back because they already gave us everything. It gave us the ending we deserved. Gold. Everything in this was gold. The world building, the character development, the fact that Arthur has been given time. Truly a fix-it that fix-ed my heart.

4. Talking about deviations from The Fucking Disir, The World I Built for You by Fulgance is a must. It was the first fic I've read from the How They Didn't Find Out (magic reveal one-shots) series, and from then on I was * s o l d *. Whichever fic you decide to read from this, I guarantee you, you will have the time of your life. Fulgance is the one author I will always recommend without a shadow of a doubt. There is not a single work of theirs that will disappoint you. They will only break you.

5. Deep In My Heart I'm Concealing by @citharaposts. True story about this fic, I squealed when I read its summary. “I'm not standing here as a king, Merlin!” was the quickest catalyst to ever make me start a fic. I specifically wrote a spoiler-free comment for the author and left it in the first chapter so that anyone who's thinking about whether or not to go into yet another 100K fic will rest assured that it's an amazing ride. Have real fun with this one.

6. It Was One Kingdom, Once by queerofthedagger. Two things, if they happen, you leave everything behind and go thank your God for blessing you with it: @queerofthedagger posting a new Merlin fic, and it being a Royal Hanahaki AU. Like so many other tropes the author has nailed, this was the best Hanahaki I've ever read (across fandoms). It's so intricate and detailed and the world building is on another level. If our world was burning and I had only one thing to save, it'll be the works of this author.

Hope I helped, and hope you have so much fun in your camp!◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕

[Short fic recs]

[sonderlivra]

First of all, loveee your bytham fics! Wondering what your opinions on the merge between loki and basim are. Do you think Basim is evil? You write him so soft, but it never toes the line of ooc!

First of all anon thank you for the ask! <3 I'm glad you like my lil fics I'm trying my best :)

Second of all you brought up a particular subject I love to rant/ramble about so buckle up lmao.

More under the cut. WARNING SPOILER ALERT for: AC Odyssey, AC Valhalla, AC Mirage, AC: The Golden City.

All images have alt-text :)

My opinions about the merge are varied and long, so I'll start off by answering your question first.

Do I think Basim is evil? No. Absolutely not.

This is because I really don't think it's ever as simple as someone being 'good' or 'evil'. You could say I'm getting too pedantic about it, but from the very first game in the Assassin's Creed the idea that nothing is ever just black or white has been stressed upon constantly. 

For this reason I believe Basim is a fantastic character to focus on in this series. He is the poster child of 'morally grey'.

So yeah, I've seen Basim (or Loki) being called a villain but I don't think that's true. I think he's an antihero.

But before I get to that, let's talk about the merge. I've seen the merge being described as something unfortunate, something that ripped away Basim's own personality and changed him into something he wasn't. I genuinely believe that that is not true.

Basim is who he has always been.

The thing to remember is that Loki has always been a part of him. He manifested himself as Nehal in Basim's early childhood, because young Basim was getting traumatised by nightly terrors. What he thought were visions of Djinn was, in his words, “a crippling memory from a past life”. The Djinn was Loki's nightmare, and poor little boy Basim was reliving it every single night. 

Enter Nehal.

From little asides in the game, from their own conversations, it is clear Basim and Nehal had a very close bond. She banters with him, teases him, scolds him, fights with him. In the House of Wisdom, Basim tells us he used to sneak in there as a child with his best friend, and they spent many nights reading together (this is one of my favourite things about his childhood <3). Nehal has a distinct personality of her own, with her own interests, her own perspectives, her own opinions that she offers to Basim constantly. None of it is ever forced on him, he rejects her opinions and her advice many times over the course of the game. And while she (often vocally) disagrees, she respects his choices.

Then the events of Mirage happen. Basim discovers the 'truth' about Nehal, that she's not real, that she's just a part of him. Just waiting for him to accept her.

I want to take a step to the side and bring up Eivor's potential-merge moment from AC Valhalla. Because the difference between that moment and Basim’s is astounding. Throughout the game, Odin is there as an intermittent voice in the back of her head, posing questions on her moralities and her choices specifically when she kills someone with power, whose death would have major consequences. He isn't there to give her companionship or even friendship, his appearances to her look like a political advisor offering his opinions in statecraft to a leader. (Fwiw, I have not yet taken his advice once in my Valhalla gameplay lmao).

Odin: You have earned your place here, Eivor. Seize it! Eivor: Stand aside! My people need me! Odin: I have given you everything you wanted. Everything you needed! Eivor: You gave me nothing! It was all me! Odin: Yet I cleared your path. I guided your axe! Eivor: You were a fly, buzzing in my ear! Odin: How dare you deny me! Everything you believe in stirs before you! Yet you question all! You question the very gods!

And later:

Eivor: Your corpse hall is nothing but a dream! Odin: Nothing but a dream? A dream is as real as anything in this world! Do dreams not inspire? Do dreams not make us fearful? Do they not push men to their greatest glories! Eivor: Then I am done with dreaming! Odin: Stand and face me, you feeble-armed thrall!Leave me now and you are nothing! With me you have wisdom! Glory! Power! What more do you need! Eivor: Everything else.

Compare it to Nehal and Basim’s:

Basim: It is done. Nehal: No, Basim. It is only the beginning. For us. For what lies ahead. A deeper understanding of the world we left behind. And our place in it. Basim: All my life I wrestled with who I was. Who I was meant to be. And there you were. All this time. The side of me I resisted. A reflection of who we once were. Nehal: Of who we shall be once more. There is so much that awaits us. A new world. Let me show you. Basim (shakily): I will never see you again, will I? Nehal: (shakes head) Basim: Will I be… alone? Nehal: You are never alone.

So there it is. Odin tries to make Eivor choose him. He tries to bend her will, tries to trap her, to tempt her and goad her into accepting him. 

Loki/Nehal does none of those things to Basim. Instead, he/she offers Basim companionship. A complete understanding of his self. Purpose and surety in his life. Something that Basim has been lacking, has been desperate to find his entire life.

Basim is scared, sure. Who wouldn't be? But he asks if he will ever be alone. And Nehal tells him, never. He will never be alone.

Because, and now we come to Loki, he won't be.

Let's talk about Loki. Is he evil? And you know what anon, I have to give you a resounding no for that too.

Loki is, let's face it, a bit of a pathetic asshat. He gripes, he connives, he grumbles and makes annoying faces behind Odin's back. But he's not evil. He just, idk, really loves his gf and his kids man.

From one of my many conversations with @project-zorthania on discord:

Odin (who is also an asshat lbr) condescends to Loki. None of the Aesirs treat Loki with any trust or respect. Now I'm not saying Loki was completely innocent. I'm not sure how much of the original Norse mythology is supposed to be canonical in this series, and by all accounts Loki is a hell of a troublemaker. But at the core of it all is the fact that the Aesir have never trusted him because he's half-Jotunn. He's always been the outsider.

Loki's wife Sigyn is mentioned once (and not by name) in this series, so the central point of his motivations is his mythologically canonical girlfriend, Angrboda. Aka Aletheia.

(Side note I adore Aletheia. Every time I saw her in Odyssey I lit up like a light bulb. She's so badass. Dikastes of Atlantis who was instrumental in getting Juno banished for human experiments, a human-sympathising Isu who was also a hacker. And now she's also a mother of three. Hot damn.)

Loki is already unhappy with the Aesir. The one truly joyful facet of his life is his lover and their children. He loves his kids, wants to keep them safe and spend more time with them. He tries to sneak his son into Asgard to keep him close. Odin discovers the son and imprisons him.

The interesting thing about Asgard (and Elysium/the Underworld/Atlantis in Odyssey) is that we don't truly know what they looked like. All these mythical places are seen through the lens of the protagonists, our player characters. Sure, there's some Isu-ness in the architecture, the dialogues, the 'devices'. But on the whole, Atlantis still has ancient Greek architecture, the people still wear chitons and sandals because that is what Kassandra expects to see. Similarly, Asgard is just a more grand, magical version of what a Norse city would look like.

I am stressing all this because we know that that's not actually the case. The Isu were an advanced civilisation, sure, but they weren't actually gods. The Nornir were confirmed to be compilers of a great calculating software. Yggdrasil was a simulation chamber. Thor's hammer was probably an advanced weapon with, idk, sci-fi electric laser stuff going on. 

Loki's son was probably not a giant wolf.

I would like you to picture a young boy being snuck into a new strange place by his father. Imagine him being locked up instead. Imagine a teenage boy breaking his chains and trying to run. Imagine Odin beating that boy bloody and chaining him again, all because a probability machine told him that the boy would be the cause of his (eventual, inevitable) death.

That is what happened to Fenrir. Is it so hard to imagine Loki's rage? How he lost what little respect and faith he had in the Aesir?

Here’s some notes found in Urdr’s Well in Asgard, clearly written by Loki to Fenrir. The first is from my own gameplay taken a week ago, the second is from Zorthania’s stream from last year:

Here's a snippet of conversation between Loki and Angrboda (from one of the Animus Anomalies):

Lastly, here is a picture of a Literal Baby 🥺:

I could go on about this for hours, man. There’s so many more notes and hints and conversations that paint a picture of a flawed (Isu) man just trying to look out for his family.

When Loki merges with Basim, he is driven by two things: vengeance, and the need to bring his family back together. He needs to accomplish these goals no matter who or what stands in his way. But he’s more than just Loki now. He is Basim, and Basim has more than just these goals. If there’s a greater cause that’s not in the way of his own personal ones, then he’ll gladly and enthusiastically work for it.

And that brings me back to my final point. Basim is not a hero, he is not a villain. He is an antihero. This is from the Wikipedia article for antihero:

Post-merge, Basim continues to do his work as a Hidden One. He does so well, in fact, that despite whatever qualms Rayhan must have had about him (making Hytham spy on him even lol), Basim is made the bureau leader for Constantinople. Sure, his personal agenda is very much active. But at the same time, he fights the Order of the Ancients on behalf of the Hidden Ones. He ensures their strong presence in Constantinople by the end of TGC. He recognises that Kjotve is a major problem because he’s a high-ranking member of the Order. 

During Valhalla, you see him ensure that Hytham’s place in Ravensthorpe is secure, that their shared mission of re-establishing the Hidden Ones in England is successful. You see hints and implications of Basim finding more resources and information that could be important for the Hidden Ones and forwarding them to Hytham. He’s still a Hidden One. He’ll always be one.

From the ending of AC Valhalla:

William Miles: So what next? Where will Basim go? Basim: As far as I can, William. William Miles: I feared as much. Basim: Do not. I cherish the Creed that guides us. I always have.

I do not think Loki and Basim are two different beings at this point. After the merge, Basim is just Basim, just an “Enhanced” version. Basim always refers to himself as himself, even when he could be talking about Loki. He speaks of Fenrir as if he was his own son. And yet he never claims the name Loki for himself. I’ve always thought that was so fascinating. It implies a true and complete merge of the two personalities, and yet, Basim was not the one consumed in that merge. Loki is accepted, but Basim continues to be the dominating identity.

Basim is who he has always been in both Valhalla and Mirage, and no, that doesn’t mean he was always evil. It means he never was just ‘the bad guy’ and that he was and continues to be a flawed, selfish, kind, helpful, dangerous, charismatic, complex man.

Thank you for the ask and sorry for the HUGE ramble lol! <3 you are so brave if you managed to read the whole thing <3

[orangewsunglasses]

ok listen

i've always liked chuuya as a character, his design is awesome, i love his personality, the dynamics he has with ither characters, all that good stuff right??? In general i just really love chuuya, but only having the main series to go off of, i didn't know much about his character nor did i really understand him very well

BUT, halfway now through storm bringer, i can safely say he is genuinely my favorite character in bsd. Reading it has exposed so much more of his character, and ive been able to marinate in my thoughts about him for a while now.

Now, again, im only a bit more than halfway through, so my thoughts and opinions are probably going to change. But i can't see how chuuya ISNT human. Like, okay, fine, he was born from a lab, from a singularity, he's the splitting image of an actual boy that "was chuuya" before chuuya was born. But I can't see how any of that matters when the life he is currently living is so painfully human.

That anger isn't just arahabaki, that's his own fucking emotion. That loneliness and betrayal and all of that shit is not just some sort of product of code. He is feeling all of those human emotions viscerally, and if you ask me, that makes him human.

He is so stuck between blaming himself for everything and seeing how many things were just simply out of his control, and I think that divide is showed with his friends in the mafia and The Sheep. One side doesn't blame him for anything, they never did. Their deaths were not chuuya's fault, no matter the reason verlaine was after them. How could chuuya know? The Sheep on the other hand, more specifically shirase, blame him for a lot. The fact that chuuya was taken in by them is lorded over him, and the whole "chuuya betrayed the sheep" is well, idk man, bullshit??? it was never chuuya's intent to destroy and leave behind the sheep, he always meant to protect them. Then there's Dazai, who seems to be the only one to see and understand him. I've barely reached the part of storm bringer where he comes back to "see Chuuya suffer as a human", (that line fucking KILLED me) so i dont have much comment on him rn.

I just srsly had to say how much i really truly love chuuya's character now. He will always be human, fuck being born in a lab. I know im saying nothing new, but I can yap all I want, ranting to myself about this was not enough and i needed to go to tumblr lol

tldr; chuuya is human and i bleed for him what the actual hell