#I could maybe accept all that tho if there weren't some characters

[yamujiburo]

Some of this might sound intentionally hostile in text and I apologize.

I'm saying this as an abuse survivor mind you - don't throw "abusive ships" under the bus so easily - at least, so long as they're not actually glamorizing the abuse. I lived that irl and I personally find someone overcoming it, slowly having enough of that bullshit and getting out over time, and the other person having to wipe their own butt for once after they've made the damn mess, very refreshing. Maybe that's not a ship in the traditional sense. It's no happily ever after bc it shouldn't be, but I find stories like mine shyed away from so often because even the portrayal gets considered a "canon ship". ... that's just how media works now, I guess? I very rarely See a fictional relationship not called a ship in literally any context now so that's the definition I'm running on.

I wish more people were willing to portray the hardships of finding acceptance outside of "whoever you can find will accept you" very much, and finding the better things after. I wish people weren't terrified out of portrayimg situations like mine.

Jessie.. is not a good person in canon. You expect me to believe she moved into to hanamusa seamlessly, without falling on her ass? I never see you talk about Jessie's abusive tendencies in canon. You never talk about the inherent meanness she needed to get over to get there. She's quite aml lot like my ex in canon, actually.

What do you mean you're going to just remove from the character that she is abusive to those around her. Jessie hits people. She takes her own junk out on others all the time. Do you even like the character then, are you actually invested in her growing, or are you just making an OC at this point?

Idk. Do you, boo. But you are posting about a character who, whether you like it or not, is canonically abusive. I just don't buy that dating Ash's mom alone fixed her. That isn't... How that works. It would be excellent if it did. Part of my love of hanamusa is that it signals Jessie's change - but she could have changed for anyone before now.

What makes Delia different? How is she specifically a turning point for Jessie? Because Jessie's flaws go well beyond just bossing people around.

I would love if my abuser had the same outcome as your Jessie. I adore your portayals of hanamusa, where she's still flawed but still strives to do better. That's all I ever wanted from my ex.

What the fuck got her there tho.

Anyways I've been watching a lot of Bojack Horseman lately -

I agree with you! I don't think abusive relationships (or any tough subject matter in general) should be shied away from in media. It can be powerful when executed well and written by folks who are equipped to tell those kinds of stories. I do think it's sad when people treat it as off limits. But the ask I got was definitely more about which ships I have where I actually like the relationship between the characters. I think the semantics of the word "ship" are kind of vague or rather, over time, got so specific to only mean "absolutely love together and want them as endgame" (for most people anyways). So that's usually what I take the word to mean when people ask me about it.

I can 100% appreciate how an abusive relationship is written and handled, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna ship an abuser with their victim (that falls into the glorifying you're talking about). Love Bojack Horseman! Big fan! I think the way they handled Bojack and Sarah Lynn was beautifully and tragically well written. But does that mean I ship Bojack and Sarah Lynn? Absolutely fucking not.

I've talked about Jessie's character plenty on this blog and the way she's handled in earlier seasons specifically. This is kind of a summary: If we look at it on surface level, yes we can say she was abusive. But I think it's important to acknowledge and take into account the medium, time period and culture. Slapstick and cartoon violence was HUGE in anime and animation in the 90s (and prior to that too). Characters were always cartoonishly slapping each other around with giant mallets, folding fans, etc. Looney Tunes style. These slapstick bits were always distinct from real abuse and hurt (for Pokémon, Jessiebelle comes to mind). Mean slapstick wasn't a character trait exclusive to Jessie either. We saw it in Misty, James, Meowth, characters of the day and pretty much any character who got mad. It was a visual shortcut to show anger.

This type of slapstick has since (thankfully) died out and it hasn't really been a part of the Pokémon franchise since the early 2000s. However, Jessie was a notably special case. One of my favorite fun facts about the Pokémon anime is that there was a point in the series where Megumi Hayashibara (Jessie/Musashi's seiyuu) told the writers that moving forward, she no longer wanted Jessie to be violent or to be shown hitting James or Meowth (source: her memoir "The Characters Taught Me Everything"). She thought it directly went against the vision Takeshi Shudo had for Jessie, James and Meowth, when he created them, which was that they are good natured villains. If you watch from DP and on, Jessie never lays a hand on either of them. I think it was a such a good move on Pokémon's part to change her character like that and I'm forever grateful that Hayashibara said something! Whenever I write Jessie now, I always keep that in mind. She's mean, shouty and stupid but would never genuinely hurt those she cares about.

From then, her character becomes much more bearable. She's still bossy, mean and vain (typical cartoon villainess attributes) but I'd hesitate to say abusive. She'll still yell at James and Meowth, they all yell at each other, but in more of a sibling way (imo) rather than a "i'm actively trying to hurt your feelings way". The show makes a point especially in later seasons to show that Jessie, James and Meowth are not beyond being redeemed. From conception the whole POINT of the Team Rocket trio was that they are redeemable but their persistence and obsession keeps getting in the way of them seeing that there's a better life for them out there.

I won't deny that Jessie was unsavory in earlier seasons, but when I write her, I choose to write the version that Takeshi Shudo and Megumi Hayashibara had envisioned from the get go. She's still incredibly flawed and makes plenty missteps but wants to be better as you stated! My favorite part about Jessie is that she's a piece of shit LOL and I enjoy writing the changes she goes through to be better (but then still showing her default so some of her evil tendencies). In this AU, Delia doesn't fix Jessie. Jessie fixes Jessie because she is with someone makes her want to be a better person. She's already in the middle of turning over a new leaf before even meeting Delia, after leaving Team Rocket. Writing Jessie as legitimately abusive I think could work, but that's not my story to tell and if someone who were more equipped to tell that story did, I'd be very interested to take a listen!

I hope this doesn't come off as trying to deny or invalidate your experience. If you see that in Jessie, I hear you! This is just how I've interpreted her character over the years, having watched every episode of Pokémon and reading Japanese interviews from the cast and crew. She's such a compelling character and I love how messy she is

[ryker-writes]

hello~

Can i actually request about being Azul’s siblings but angst that he started being slowly distant when he got friended with the twins until reaching to NRC especially one dorm with him and he doesn’t like to be addressed as ‘brother’ and treated you as inferior before he overblot? and perhaps if you don’t mind tho what happened after his overblot?

ooooo yes! I love the sibling relationships with the TWST characters both wholesome and angsty. Of course I don't mind writing as much as you want! This even ended up longer than I expected it too! Thank you so much for the request!

Azul as a sibling (Broken relationship edition)

you and Azul used to be close

growing up with him, you saw the other kids pick on him and you knew about his insecurities

you were always there to defend him whenever you saw it

and you reassured him that what they said wasn't true

you would always be standing outside his octopot and keeping away other students so he wouldn't be teased

and so you two were close

but then one day in elementary school, there were a couple of eel twins

Azul was being picked on and curled up in his octopot when the twins approached

they actually talked to him and weren't really mean so you didn't stop them

and Azul actually became friends with them after a bit

but once they became friends, he started spending less time with you

while you could still hang out from time to time, he spent most of his time with them

you'd often see him planning and burying himself in spell books too

and the twins even helped keep bullies away from him

of course you're happy he has friends

and it's great that they help him out

but it really hurts when you want to spend time with him and he tells you he's too busy

especially because when he's "busy" the twins still hover around him

still, you tried to spend time with him a little bit while at home

and he couldn't always push you away

but every day he started to spend less and less time with you and more time studying magic

by the time the two of you were enrolled at Night Raven College, you barely see him anymore

you were a little hopeful when you two ended up in the same dorm

and the twins also got into Octavinelle

for a second you thought that you could try to spend a little time with him

but those hopes were destroyed very quickly

you wanted to try talking to him so you called out to him

all you said was "Brother!" and he immediately turned around with a scowl

all he said was to not call him that before walking away

so maybe he doesn't want to talk to you

you carried on with your school activities and watched Azul from afar

you're not exactly sure what he's been doing, but he seemed to socialize with students a lot more than he did before

and he also seems more confident in himself

eventually he even talked with the headmage and opened a lounge

it was very surprising actually

your brother who used to be very shy and meek is now running a lounge

it was even more surprising when Jade came up to you saying that Azul wanted most Octavinelle students working there, including you

you accepted (the eel didn't give you much of a choice) and started working immediately

unfortunately, you got stuck with some of the worse jobs that no one wanted to do

this included dishes, taking care of trash, cleaning the bathrooms, and generally cleaning any spills

even while working there, you didn't see much of Azul

he spent most of his time in the VIP room

not many people were allowed in there

it was only Azul, the twins, and anyone he wanted to speak with

while working, there would sometimes be students that point out that the two of you were siblings

those students were often dragged to the VIP room and looked very scared when coming out

and they never mentioned it again

it's like hardly anyone knew you were siblings

it's like he didn't want anyone to know

as if he didn't want to be associated with you

and then one day Jade told you that Azul wanted you in the the VIP room

you went in the room and Azul didn't even look up at you

he was to busy writing something

you sat down on one of the couches and awkwardly waited for something to happen

still not looking up at you, he just told you to sign and slid a piece of paper in your direction

looking at it, it was a contract

it said that you would work and do anything he wanted you too, and you could never tell anyone that you were related, you used to be close, or even give details of his childhood

in return you get some of the better jobs like actually dealing with customers and more discounts

you knew of his unique magic

if you signed this contract you would be forced to follow it

of course you didn't want to sign it

and you told him that

this time he actually looked at you

"Is your head so thick that you can't see how I'm trying to help you? You'll get a better position and discounted items. You should consider yourself lucky that I'm kind enough to offer your poor soul something better. Normally I wouldn't even waste my time with someone like you, but my benevolent nature is simply too strong. Besides, this is beneficial for both sides and you'll kindly be helping me as well."

if there was any hope for you and Azul to get along someday, it's certainly dead now

did he really see you so far beneath him?

he really thought that low of you...

but he phrased it in such a way that made it sound like you would be helping him by signing

and he is your brother after all, even if he doesn't want to admit it

so reluctantly, you signed

and he promptly asked you to leave afterwards

things weren't so great after that

while you did get some of the better jobs, you still had to do some of the worse ones

and this also means you had to work more

on top of that you couldn't refuse anything he said

not that he acknowleged you too much after that

he mostly asked Jade or Floyd to tell you what he wanted

because you weren't worth his time

then he started making contracts with more people

and the Mostro Lounge had...too many workers to keep up with

they all signed a contract with Azul, and now they payed the price

but then a bunch of Savanaclaw student showed up one day and caused so much trouble in the lounge

they caused such a mess and spilled everything and you were already dreading the cleanup later

but then you saw Azul

he was clearly upset and frustrated at everyone around him

for a second, he almost looked like the same Azul that used to get picked on

but then the dark ink seemed to consume him

as much as you wanted to help, you were too far away, everyone around you was scrambling, and the students involved seemed like they were trying to keep others away

Azul wouldn't want your help anyway

he'd hate to know that you helped save him

but he was your brother you couldn't just stand by and let it happen

the other students were able to save him before you could even get there

and you kept your distance

Azul was a bit of a wreck after that

you found out that all of his contracts got destroyed so you weren't bound to yours anymore

but you still didn't call him brother

he didn't want that anyway so it just sort of stayed

after his overblot he started acting different

while he still didn't talk to you much at first, he was around you more often

he didn't spend as much time in the VIP room and actually came out to work with everyone else

sometimes he did sort of...hover near you

it was like he wanted to say something, but instead he'd just fidget and look frustrated

the twins seemed entertained by it at least

and then he invites you to the VIP room again

when you enter he's a bit fidgety and won't look at you

you ask if he wants another contract and he's surprised

no one has even mentioned contracts to him since he overblotted

but he says no and that he actually has a new work schedule for you

when you take a look you're amazed

less hours and you don't have to do those horrible jobs anymore???

it was really amazing

since then he even has been trying to make conversation with you

he's incredibly awkward about it tho

he doesn't know what to say so he's searching for something you may be interested in

he wishes he did more research on you in the past to know what you like now

still, he's trying

but what really changed was his attitude towards you

so when some customers were being annoying and complaining about you one day, he actually came to your defense

"Excuse me? It would be wise to watch what you say. After all, that's my sibling you're talking about."

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

Oh my goodness! That story about Leo going into the future was SO good! The ending felt so natural (tho poor MC for being left out of the loop lol) Could you please make a continuation?! Or do other characters? No pressure or anything!

The diabolical streamer is acting weird

Leo started behaving weirdly after he saw his future with the honor student and everyone noticed.

Wc: 800

Notes: this doesn't fully capture how weird I think he would get, I'm talking full on side eyes and awkward silences.

He is having a hard time accepting that the student he almost got killed and someone he sees as an NPC to his life managed to get him whipped enough for him to marry them

I honestly was between this or him being awkward while getting them ready for a paid sponsor but couldn't decide which would be better...

There are many uncertainties in life, will your curse be cured? What is Hyde hiding under there? Where did all the staff cats come from? But now there is a new question, Why is Leo acting so weird?

Ever since last Monday he has been behaving unlike himself! Side eyeing you whenever he thought you weren't watching and huffing whenever you told him anything. What puzzles you even more is when you tell Sho about it and he just raises his eyebrows, acting but clearly not surprised.

“Uh Huh? Really? I don't believe you” his steel blue eyes focused on the quick swiped of the knife against the carrots, Sho's voice couldn't be faker.

“I’m asking seriously! Leo has been quite awkward with me lately, is it because I helped you drag him out?”

Sho lets out a knowing laugh but doesn't let you in on any insider knowledge. The night after their sneak out while bathing together Leo told him some things.

“Can you believe that stupid birdpond said I would marry the NPC?” dipping under the water until his collarbone was covered he mutters strings of words that Sho vaguely strings into something like ‘it must have been that darkwick rotted my brain, settling down with them’ and some bitter babbles into the bubbles.

“For real? With the honor student?!” Howling laughter rolls from the deepest part of his chest and he has to grab the side of the bathtub while he catches his breath to not slip “anything else interesting?”

“You recorded up getting laid, disgusting pervert” Leo jokes as he pours some Epsom salt in while relishing on the disgusted gags Sho makes.

If Leo wouldn't have sounded half as playful as he did and Sho actually took him seriously, he would have figured the dilemma Leo was facing, what would have even attracted him to that NPC? They aren't the prettiest person they have seen ever, not even in Darkwick, Romeo and Jin would take that place. Their jokes don't always fall funny with him or their responses, witty. So what was it?

But after knowing his friend for as long as he did and the little chat inside the bathroom he manages to infer it's something to do with the future shown to him.

Without turning back to you he just sighs “sometimes he has those times where he acts weird, in a week he should be as usual… speaking of the devil”

And as in cue Leo slams the kitchen door open, his eyes looking down at his phone. Without even one word he links your elbows and pulls you from the table you were sitting on to the door on the opposing wall.

“Hey! Hey! Where are you dragging me?!”

“I sent you a message. I need you to boost my stigma. Now” and without giving you one moment to question back or argue he was already out of the kitchen and reaching the back door leading to the junkyard with you in tow.

And as usual when he calls you, he plops down on the leather couch throwing you down with him “Don't stand so far away, I can barely touch your hand” his voice whines as he drapes his right arm over your shoulders, pulling you towards his chest and ducking your head under his own.

“What are-”

“Hush, I can't hear with you babbling”

Maybe because of the way his left hand holding yours tightly or the bashfulness pooling under your stomach at the compromising position and the looks some students threw at you, you didn't notice how he didn't say ‘haxs’ to start using his stigma.

After a few minutes of ‘cuddling’ he pulls away and walks off to his room, seemingly deep in thought as he usually does when eavesdropping, so you pay him no mind and return to Sho, hoping he would give you a taste of tomorrow’s food truck menu.

Inside Leo's head he mused, partially shocked and partially expecting it “it didn't feel wrong… maybe even a bit nice... This shitty school is messing with my taste”

His cheek is smooshed against his palm while he scrolls the content of a burner phone, the page showing was a semi recent Wickhive post asking about reasons people like their partners, his thumb stops scrolling over an answer, mulling over it.

“It is the feeling of calmness I get when he hugs me, his chest snug against my arm fitting just right, like it was always meant to be. Like two puzzle pieces snapping together or Orihime’s relief at meeting Hikoboshi even if it has been only a few hours since we saw each other”

Sighing over the overly flowery language he seems to accept the answer and deletes the post, content for now with what he got.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

okay so TENATIVE predictions for season 4: it looks like they're going to be playing into the mandela effect. half the universe remembers the umbrella timeline, half the universe remembers the sparrow timeline, and the ONLY thing both groups remember is Ben.

I've been praying since day one that Ben will have memories of both lives in his head, and judging by the fact he appears to be Going Through It in the trailer I assume that'll be the case.

since Ben is at the center of the conspiracy, I almost want to say he's who they're supposed to be rescuing? like, maybe instead of One Ben Two Lives, it's Two Bens One Cup. I don't think they'll do that, though. They're probably trying to rescue Jennifer. HOWEVER I do think it would be really sexy if Nick Offerman and Megahn Mullally weren't playing a couple but were instead playing the same person from different universes (hence being named Gene and Jean), and they somehow found each other and that's why they're leading this conspiracy.

Mystery Jennifer is stressing me out. obviously by the glowing she's got something going on. I'm thinking there's a possibility she was erased from the family's memories after Ben's death- the trailer makes it seem like Reginald made Allison rumor them after the fact. there's probably a decent chance they all knew her, she lost control of her powers, Ben died, Reginald locked her away and erased all traces of her. maybe in the sparrow timeline she died instead, or maybe she was always locked up there and Ben was drawing her from memories that were already starting to leak through from the og timeline, but either way probably in trying to uncover how Ben died they figure out they have to save her. idk!

also, six is like. a random number of years I'm sorry. why wouldn't they just say five years later? maybe another thing to do with Ben bc umbrella Ben was number six? I'm probably reading too much into that one.

I'm truly SO scared they're gonna reveal none of them have spoken during the time skip. Five doesn't deserve that 😭😭. in my perfect world him and Viktor have an apartment but the show writers 100% forgot they said those two were best friends when they were kids judging by the rest of the series rip. when the Gene and Jean characters were first announced I thought maybe Five got stuck in the foster system and they took him in, and that could still be the case (maybe that's how they noticed the universe is a lie in the first place, the boy loves to Yap) but I think it's less likely now idk

if Diego and Lila's daughter isn't named Gracie....what was this all for. what was this all building towards. what's the point. LMFAO I know the popular fanon one is Anita (personally in my head I've been calling her Poppy and I Don't Know Why) but like Gracie is the only name that makes sense, Diego is Too Much of a mama's boy to accept anything else.

this one isn't a prediction it's just a demand- I DEMAND a white violin icon moment set to extraordinary girl by green day. they can 100% get away with just doing an instrumental version since Viktor's not a girl lmfao, but it literally Haunts Me that they didn't do that at the end of season 1 (or at LEAST play the opening of letterbomb when Viktor was in the basement hallucinating) so they NEED to make up for that. it's the last season. play the fucking song oh my God.

there might be too much going on to bring the sparrows back in any meaningful way, but like! I liked them! I especially wanted more Marcus last season, he and Viktor had good chemistry. and Fei was an icon. Why Are We Hiding Sloane Tho. I considered maybe they were rescuing Sloane, but like, Luther just seems a little too happy for that to be the case? that's why I also think Diego and Lila's kid isn't the one being rescued like I saw some theories suggest- Diego is so excited and Lila's grinning in the car scene. can't imagine their 5 year old is missing.

Five is absolutely gonna die. like I'm sorry since episode 1 there's never been a believable outcome where everything's okay and he lives. HOWEVER I think there's a very strong chance the series could end with the timeline is finally saved and set right, and grandpa Five died- but then right at the end 2002 baby Five shows up and gets stuck in the safe timeline. Five has been a walking paradox the whole series. it'd be bittersweet to lose the Five we love, but know that he's still technically getting a happy ending because he doesn't have to live through the apocalypse and become an assassin. I think that's like the best outcome we can hope for.

I think it'd be EXTREMELY funny if Reginald is just super nice now that Abigail is back. like the entire excuse for 30 years of insane behavior was that he missed his wife. bestie there are better ways to cope than abusing superpowered kids </3 but lmao I'm intrigued by him and Viktor being together in both trailers! I've always gotten the feeling that Viktor is one of his 'favorites' (to the best of his ability anyway), and from the brief childhood flashbacks we see that he had baby V acting as an assistant for him, so I'd like to see their relationship expanded a little bit. honestly I just want a lot about Reginald cleared up- he does give off the distinct impression that he actually cares about his kids, even though he's abusive. I'm assuming the explanation will be something along the lines of 'well I always planned to bring you back and safe in the New Universe', that he was approaching it as a 'they have to suffer now to save the universe, and then they can be happy' mindset. that would be interesting. but I'm also a little worried they'll wave his behavior off with 'oh he's an alien he just can't understand how he affected them', which, would suck writing-wise.

I'm worried about Allison- I'm sure they're gonna want her to have a full redemption by the end of the series, but what she did to Viktor and Luther last season...like I just don't know that they'll pull off a meaningful redemption, to where it's believable that they forgive her (other than the fact they're both softies and push overs). not with the shorter season, anyway! I *think* the person Viktor was punching in the trailer was Allison. but I'm worried that instead of actually fixing the issue the writers will just have her do a sacrifice play. especially since, bless her, she's the least sacrificial person in the family, so I could see the argument that it'll be a meaningful character growth moment, but like...if they don't actually have her believably fix her mistakes it'll just feel like a lazy writing move. also, I love her and I don't want any of them to die. as I said, the only death I'm willing to accept is Five's WITH the promise of baby Five getting a happy ending.

I want the Handler to come back, even if it's only for one scene. sorry, I think her absence was one of the low points of season 3.

I think if Grace appears in this season at all it won't be the robot version we're used to, but an older version of her human self that Diego met in the 60s. could be very bittersweet. I just don't think the robot exists in this universe bc honestly if my husband revived me from the dead but then I found out he's been living without me just fine, but made a robot copy of a pretty young fling he had after my death and seemingly can't live without her. I'd be a little pissed! sorry! lmao that said I also have personally been headcannoning that Grace is actually a cyborg and not a robot this whole time, the kids just don't know because of all the insane protocols Reginald set up, so if they do something with that instead I'll be really excited.

Diego and Lila's daughter deserves powers<3

alright I think that's all I got for now. but I wanna hear more theories!!

[brainrockets]

I think that the Steel moment from this first episode of Arc 3 is so juicy.

There's some thread about trust and family and how it intersects with the machinery of Empire.

Sort of like, Steel is Suvi's mom, but also her boss commanding officer. And when you work with/for family, there are some lines that can get blurred. We've already seen how this has some benefit to Suvi. In the leeway she has for messing up. But now we see how it cuts the other way when Steel is using the trust she has as her mom to get Suvi to comply with her orders for her job.

Aabria played it brilliantly, sort of noting that she's having this moment where her friends have damaged her trust in them (and Steel really made a hard case to her last arc about trusting anyone but her... like trust me, trust us, maybe don't trust whoever gave you that prophecy tho... oh how sad everyone is too wrapped up in secrets to trust. >.>) and needing fundamentally someone to trust in, so in a situation where she wants to push back, she feels cornered by this need and her need for acceptance and love.

And as I've seen others note, Steel setting the scene super casually as to invoke her family tie rather than her official tie is epic manipulation tactics.

I love the way Aabria and Brennan are building this world together.

And I think it's the tension in Steel's character that Wren observed, that Steel is of the Citadel first and everything else second. Which is why she didn't refer to Steel as someone to be implicitly trusted.

And someone who belongs to an institution first, particularly an imperial institution, can be a lovely person who is nice and who loves their family and who also turns around and does fully horrific acts for their institution. Steel could have been responsible for Suvi's parents' demise and still sleep decently at night if she took those actions for the good of The Citadel/Empire.

Brennan: let's explore how the doers of evil deeds are sometimes nice people interpersonally. An excellent nuance to learn.

Yeah some bad guys are mustache twirling bastards who are rotten to their core. And some bad guys are nice normal seeming folks just doing banality of evil stuff as part of a system.

It's like in real life you have your active pursuit of bigoted behavior folks, full blown fascists, costumes and all. And then you have your folks who are perpetrating the violence of the established imperialist system on folks. And the "if they weren't guilty, why didn't they do thing that wouldn't have stopped or helped the situation" folks.

Brennan:

[figgrrr0]

Hi how are you? I’m new to tumblr so I hope this isn’t a problem anyway I was thinking if you could do hc or a scenarios with (any genshin character) or traveler separate tho where yn isn’t in best shape(chubby yn lol) so when traveling with them they are behind schedule and the journey doesn’t as planned. Yn might feel insecure or uncomfortable with traveling them next time but (who ever you decide to put) assures them that they are not a problem, and they shouldn’t be ashamed of themselves

haha i hope this is alright, and I wish this see’s in good times :D

Pls send help, I can't tell if this is fluff or angst. Both??

Traveler reassures chubby!reader

Character: Traveler (not specified as Lumine OR Aether)

Reader: Gn, implied chubby

Genre: Fluff, angst // Cw: Slight/implied self doubt, tiny misunderstanding

Tagging along with the Traveler wasn't quite how you'd expected it to be. From what you'd seen and heard, you thought that their commisions would most likely entail a few deliveries, getting some information from people, and maybe an escourt mission here or there. Not fighting all day and climbing mountains and cliffs.

Truthfully, you didn't think it'd be so bad! Even when things started to ramp up a bit, with a hilichurl ambush on the road, you'd been able to hold your own for a little while. But when that "one little ambush" turned to "seeking out every hilichurl camp in the nation"... Well. Safe to say, your stamina wasn't high enough to hold out for hours of fighting, especially when you hadn't been prepared for it in the first place.

So, when the Traveler insisted that they accompany you back home earlier than what was planned, (with at least 4 camps left to clear out) you couldn't help but feel as if you'd let them down. Even though they'd easily shut down your attempts at an apology, you still looked back on the day, thoughts telling you that they'd have been better off on their own.

You'd been so concentrated on your own thoughts, that you hadn't seen the bright smile and little wave that was thrown your way before the Traveler turned, leaving you at your door. Their promise of returning later in the week was muffled to your ears, and you only came to your senses to question what you'd heard a few seconds later, but left it at that, assuming it was just an average "goodbye".

...

Safe to say, when the Traveler showed up at your door a few days later, asking if you'd want to join them for another adventure, you certainly weren't expecting it.

Just like the Traveler and Paimon were equally surprised when you hesitated to answer, compared to how excited you'd been the first time they offered. They shared a look, questioning your different behaviour; but unlike Paimon, who was ready to accept your messily thrown together excuse, the Traveler could tell that you were hiding something. Shooing their flying companion away briefly, they looked at you with an expression softer than you'd seen before, carefully asking why you weren't feeling up to it.

Regardless of how you answer, the Traveler can still tell that now would be a good time for some reassurance.

"If the work was too much for you, you're perfectly welcome to sit on the sidelines! I'm sure Paimon would like some extra help being a cheerleader..." they laugh at the image, the sound quickly fading when they have another thought, "But seriously though, what's most important is your safety. I wouldn't want to drag you along with us if you're not comfortable! After all, company is always the best when spirits are high, and you'd still be an important asset to our team without fighting," They look around then, whispering as if telling a secret, "not that I'd stop you if you ever wanted to join in..."

A few seconds of silence pass, before you burst into a small fit of laughter, not expecting the silly display. The Traveler joins in soon after, easing up after seeing you relinquish the worries you'd been holding.

When Paimon returns, curious about the laughter, you accept their invitation after a few more moments of contemplation. It's not like your lack of fighting would be much different than what they're used to, you rationalise. Paimon doesn't do much more than float around, anyway. You'd be doing more work than her just by walking!

Of course, even their little spiel can't completely dissolve everything you'd gotten worked up about; with time, you'd realise that the Traveler didn't need the help. But they sure did appreciate the friendly atmosphere that you brought along.

Want to send a request/brainrot with me? Check my rules!

Thank you for reading! 🩷

[xsunnysucculentx]

meeting task 141

summary: you were transferred from your other task force to the 141 and meet the members. 

warnings: reader smokes, has piercings and tattoos  content warning: none

pronouns: she/her

a/n: this will be a multiple part story, maybe with some of your ideas ^^ english is not my first language, if you find any mistakes pls let me know!

disclaimer: i do not own call of duty or any of the mentioned characters

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ghost didn't know how you landed a place in the 141 task force. not that you weren't good. you were probably one of the best snipers he's encountered.

he didn't see you in action yet, but your killcount is speaking for you. his opinion tho, it was...purely based off appearance. you just didn't look like you'd belong here, your bubbly personality not matching the dark hues of the base and the men, who lived there. 

you weren't the only female member that got transferred from another location. but the only one who stood out to ghost. it wasn't every day that he met someone, who could withstand his gaze and not blurt their whole backstory out once he asked one simple question. you're still pretty mysterious, even after he made a background check, he couldn't find anything on your records. to the public, you were living in santa monica, had three children and a husband named arthur hales. you were a completely normal human being, working an office job before becoming a house wife. and no one would assume that someone like you, always smiling, always trying your best to get warmed up to the men in the past three days you've been here, wearing the light blue oversized hoodie and grey sweatpants were a killer. lost in his thoughts, ghost trailed his gaze through the cantine. you were talking to soap and gaz as you held your cup of tea between your hands. 

"so, we know that you're good at sniping. what about on the field. and experience?" soap asked, his scottish accent peaking through heavily. "actually yeah. i wasn't on the field often, but i know a trick or two when it comes to fighting." you gave a small smile and turned the white mug slightly. "how come you've been transferred here?" gaz asked, being the only one in the past days who's asked yet. you didn't mind the question, you had a long time to think about your answer after all. they didn't need to know the whole truth. not yet, at least. "my task force just got a few new recruits and everyone was occupied with two, except me. and since y'all needed backup, Lt. sent me here to help you from above" you left out the teeny tiny fact that you've known price for a long long time (since you were two, to be exact) and had quite the bond with him, which is why price told general shepherd he'd like to have you on his squad. "who said we needed backup?" soap sounded kinda offended. "giving some of us almost died last time we were out, it does sound like we needed backup." alejandro mentioned and shrugged. you were surprised how fast the men actually accepted you in their circle and how easy it was to communicate. there were no uncomfortable silences or inappropriate jokes, which were almost always there with your other team, and you actually felt quite comfortable here. the only one who hasn't spoken more than two words (which were a simple 'good morning') with you, was ghost. you felt his gaze lingering on your back and you asked yourself why he didn't join the table. maybe he was cautious of you? or in general just a little socially awkward? you didn't know and quite frankly didnt care a lot, there's always that one person in the team. you let your snake bite piercing graze against the back of your teeth and enjoy the silent moment. "whats this?" soap pointed to your left wrist, where your tattoo peeked through. "an angel number. stands for protection and the right path." you explained and looked down at the three small numbers on your wrist. you got it done a few years ago after joining the military, you didnt believe in a "higher power" or anything like that, you just kept remembering your mother, who always said that 4 was your lucky number. you've always been protected in your life, she said. ghost started getting closer to the table, not wanting to come of as weird or anything, and sat down next to alejandro, who was sitting opposite of you. "look who joined us, if it isnt the most handsome man!" soap smiled and put his arms slightly up. you looked at ghost, his dark eyes shooting a quick glance in your direction and looking at soap after that. it was the first time you could really look at him, giving that he either wasn't there or hiding somewhere in the shadows. he had a black balaclava with a skull print on and a black t-shirt. you were wondering why he wore the balaclava inside. it looked very cool (and kinda intimidating), but it left you asking yourself if it was because of you. maybe he had some trust issues and wanted to conceal his identity. 

"i didn't catch your name yet" ghost looked at you. god damn. his voice was deeper than expected. or.. you didnt really know what you were expecting, but definitely not a british accent. "oh, i was called flower. but my Lt. said i had to change my before going out in the field to eliminate any connections to the other task force, im kinda nameless now" you knew you couldn't really pick your own call sign, which would leave you with something like newbie for a couple of days (or weeks, or how ever long it took until you'd figure out your name) ghost gave you a short nod, understanding that you didnt want to say your real name. you didn't know his after all, that only seemed fair. in fact, you didnt know any of the guys names except for alejandro. you made a mental note, you'd remind yourself some day to ask for their real names, maybe it was just too early for that.

"newbie!" yup, it was like you've expected. soaps voice echoed through the gym and you pulled out your headphones. you were mid rep and raised an eyebrow at his call for you. behind him was ghost in a tank top and some black sweatpants. gah damn his arms were big. "yeah?" you asked and pulled off your gym gloves and took your water bottle. you were still in a hoodie and sweatpants, not wanting to show your body because of some.. events that happened back at your old base.

"we wanted to ask if you'd be down for a smoke? well, if you smoke at all" soap started but looked at the bar bell on the floor. "but you probably wanna finish training, right?"

"oh no i was on my last rep for today anyway, soo yeah sure." you gave them a quick smile and turned around, unscrewing the bar bell and putting the black heavy plates where you got them from. soap nudged ghost slightly, pointing at the weights and gave an admiring nod after counting the weight in total. you were strong, no questions asked, but you were also kinda.. he didn't know.. short ? or it just seemed like it, because all of them were tall and you just stood out because you were a lot of inches smaller.

you noticed the look and quickly gathered your stuff, phone, headphones and your water bottle. you'd be passing the sleeping quarters anyways, so you didn't have to ask the men to lend you a cig.

"i just need to get my cigarettes out of the room, i'll be right back" you gave the little announcement and quickly disappeared behind the door, after unlocking it with your card.

"do you think she was deadlifting or squatting with that weight?" soap crossed his arms and looked at ghost.

"dunno. but she sure as hell is strong" he admitted and earned a chuckle from soap.

"gave you a little competition aye?"

while they we're talking, you were on the search for your coolest lighter (a black clipper with a white ace of spades and blood spluttered on it). 'that'll do' you thought, pulling a light pink zippo out of your bag. it had flowers on it and a small engraving, which said 'you're the prettiest flower'. you smiled down at it, memories of your little sister gifting it to after you've been away on a mission for several months flooded your mind. it's already been years in which you haven't seen her, the zippo was a nice reminder that she'd always be waiting for you to come back.

you opened the door to your room and let out a sigh, putting the cigarettes and zippo in the pocket of your hoodie. the men looked down at you and you put your arm out, as a gesture of saying 'lead the way'.

soap and ghost were talking (well, it was mostly soap telling ghost some gossip and ghost giving a hum in response) and you listened to their conversation on the way to the smoking area. it was in the back of the base, some benches and tables scattered here and there. it wasn't very cold outside, the spring air filling your lungs and you took a deep breath in. birds were flying over your head, the trees started to blossom and you were genuinely happy that winter was over and it'd be summer soon.

you sat down at a round table, ghost opposite of you and soap between you and him. you pulled your sealed cigarette package out and removed the plastic wrap.

"didn't think you were a marlboro typa gal" soap mentioned and you flicked against the bottom of the package. "whats that for?"

"the highest cigarette, that comes out, is my lucky cigarette. im smoking it last one, and always wish something." you explained your little ritual and put the cigarette upside down back in the package before offering the two of them one. you put one between your lips and pulled out the lighter.

"we were the ones asking you to come out and now we're smoking your cigarettes" soap commented and you passed the lighter to him.

"pff dont worry about it, i'm not greedy" you smiled and inhaled the smoke. ghost took the lighter and inspected it for a quick second. it was kinda cute, seeing the all so serious man holding a pink lighter. he gave it back and turned around, leaning on his elbows on the table.

you didn't even question it, he didn't want you (or anyone) to see his face and smoking meant pulling his mask over his lips.

"so" you started as you tapped the ash off. "how long have you two known each other?"

"way too long" ghost answered almost immediately and you looked at soap, who just nodded.

"i've seen this man almost die more often than i saw me mum" soap took a deep inhale and blew the smoke out. "anyway, why did you join the military?"

"eh, thats a story for another day" you winked and soap mouthed a 'got it' and stared off into distance.

"we gotta start thinking about a name for you" soap mentioned and you quickly nodded.

"i dont wanna be called newbie again" you kinda whined and put your head onto your free hand. "it took sooo impossibly long to get my other team to pick a name because nothing really fit and 'wasn't screaming me'" you quoted your friend and soap smiled a little.

"well we have to see you in action and pick out a name then huh?"

and just like that, a new era in your life began.

[mindfogs]

my thoughts on hazbin hotel from someone who was never in the fandom but nonetheless kept up with the updates

i think the main problem is that it feels like a second season, it already outdid its premise and it was waaaaaaaaaay too soon.

and this was noticeable in the first episodes but even so in the latest ones!

there's so many moments where they wanted to go "WWOOOAAAA" based on the years you waited for this. mimzy (?) appearance being the most blatant example. it was not foreshadowed, it brought NOTHING to the table (maybe it'll have consequences later idk), it was just there to make you go "THAT CHARACTER THAT WAS TEASED FINALLY IS HERE"

but also so much more... this show LOVES to TELL rather than SHOW... they tell us cherry and sir pentuous have a rivalry, they tell us alastor helped charlie since day one but they never show us any of it. and i think it's because they rely on the pilot too much? they assume you've seen the pilot and could piece things together yourself...

(p. s. some other things that weren't in the pilot like alastor and tv guy rivalry were established rather well i think)

they skipped the status quo and went straight to the subverting expectations! that's why the first season being "boring" and formulaic is so important! it sets the ground for the rest of the show!!

it supposed to be rewarding to hear charlie tell her dad and heaven that they made progress.... have they tho? we had a nice episode with sir pentuous apologizing, we see angel back story in ep 4 and we see him acting better in ep 6 but we don't really see what changed him we don't see him gradually improve. one could say his song with dusk acted as a catharsis but that to me sounded like he accepted his situation. literally the first step. everything else from episode 3 onward was not about the hotel, the premise of the show, but it focusses on world building and characters... which is fine, but wouldn't it be more rewarding if we got vaggie's "i am nothing without you" moment after watching, SEEING her struggling with herself for at least a couple of episodes before?

the whole talk to the heaven guys felt so flat since maybe charlie had some proof they could get better but WE didn't (until they opened the portal yes i watched the episode). we get a great big musical number about how the rules are bended and twisted and one of the angels joins in and "souls could be redeemed" but again i don't think we really earned a moment like this after 2, maybe 3 moments of genuine change with these characters.

all these moments are great in a vacuum, but they aren't really rewarding if not set up properly. i feel like it was a mix of having too much to pack in one season and 20 minutes episodes, and relying too much on the pre estiblished knowledge from the pilot and the general fandom. maybe in a longer season with some episodes in between where we see the sinners redemption? maybe after a whole season of just the hotel shenanigans? idk i'm not a writer but something feels off

i will still keep up with the series because it's a fun watch, the animation is really nice, the voice actors are fantastic and i'm genuinely curious to see where it's going. it's a passion project and it shows and i love it for that but i feel like they should have had someone who has never heard of hazbin hotel to help direct it in order to avoid relying too much on established lore and love people already have for these characters.

[gildeddlily]

side characters ONly can be gay!!11!1! yep

I could write an essay about the way Marvel is just the reflection of how mass media deals with the queer representation "problem" nowadays

(I should study for my exam but fuck it I have time)

first of all, how many queer characters actually are part of mcu's big ass cast?

Searching on the internet they'll tell you about twenty- but it's enough to read who is queer to understand that they only care about seeming all woke and you know, kind and allies and all that good shit, but the truth is that if you're queer you'll get no more than five minutes of screen time

Loki is a bisexual genderfluid god, it's canon in the comics and in the shows/film, but does he actually acts on it? like, does he ever talk about the men he had a thing with? does he talk about his gender identity? no. and you know what, I don't want a long speech about feeling accepted and finding your place in the world and understanding yourself, I'd be ok with him being like "yk what, i feel like cunt today" and poof tom hiddleston is no more man.

we have a two second shot were he's labeled as genderfluid. that's it. he has a love story arc with his female alternative version.

like saying the bar can't get lower- all the time there's a man at his side, and they're so queer coded guys. they are so fucking queer coded. they'd have all the potential to be a good couple, and they prob could since Loki is canonically attracted to males too! but no.

let's choose the female you over the dilf grabbing your waist and telling you that you're more, that you matter and have a chance to be good.

can Loki count as representation? maybe.

it's shitty representation, tho.

then there's America.

America's a lesbian, daughter of two lesbian women, and they were proud of it probably- if it weren't for the fact that America's there, she live the adventure, and she has a lgbtqia pin. a pin. all her identity is expressed in a pin.

one could say, but the film is not ab America and her non-male partner, is about the story yk?

then why does every fucking marvel film features a man and a woman being in a relationship?

i guess that when it's about man Tony Stark and woman Pepper Potts everything's ok, you can give all the minutes you want to their sweet relationship- but if they're queer I'm sorry, the best thing you'll have is a pin.

then a few gays out there.

random man in endgame missing his bf. random girl in hawkeye mentioning her wife (slay). that one sexy dora milaje who has a sexier gf. slay you too ig. that Eternals guy who kissed his bf on screen (first time ever, and they feel revolutionary. fucking 2021).

the only thing that can be saved is Thor 3/4 because of Taika Waititi. the queerness is something Taika did because he wanted to.

Ragnarok's about this dude, his bi brother, this guy who flirts with both of them and has orgies with all kind of beings, a lesbian valkyrie and a gay rock. Love and Thunder is about this guy, his bamf ill girlfriend, a lesbian valkyrie who's trying to find some girl to eat out, a gay rock that ends up having strange sex with his bf, and greek people fainting after seeing said guy's naked body. (and that weird moment between Thor and Peter? that was made to be gay guys)

while it's not perfect, it's one step above everything else.

Taika Waititi's film's queerness is not there for looking more inclusive, it's there because gay people are there, we actually exist dude, and they deserve their space, and they should have it.

and like Taika Waititi's said, the world will be healed when people will stop saying "oh you know that new marvel series? yes, there's a gay gal in there", when people will treat queer people like the people they actually are.

it's like walking around in a forest and being like "oh look, a tree!". we aren't a different species ffs

representation is good, and of course gay characters sometimes are gonna be just there on the side cheering on the main character- because that's how life goes. I'm the cheering-from-the-side girl queer friend to my straight friend, and mcu stories are told by straight people, so it's kinda natural that we're kinda useless.

the thing that really, really makes me want to cry our is how they're able to destroy any queer "lead" they put here for us, for me, and I'm starting to believe behind those scripts there are some seriously repressed gay dude who can only express themselves by writing those things.

like Steve and Bucky? the classic we're best friends and we totally didn't have sex?

or Bucky and Sam?

why was the chair scene necessary? If i see something like that happening to a woman and a man my first thought is "they're a thing", and it was the first thing I thought with Sam and Bucky too- but ofc people will tell us "y are you making everyone gay?" it's not my fault princess it's the writers'

or, again, Loki and Mobius?

"you can be good, just in case no one ever told you" WHAT THE HELL DUDE

and you know, those things can be said between two friends too, but people gets disperate. I get disperate, after watching hours upon hours of two guys eye-fucking each other and ending up being all "yeah bro i love you this is my girlfriend amy". so I wrote, I draw, I think about them being "hey dude, d'you want to be the amy to my myself?" because the alternity is writing a fic about a random man who says he misses his husband on a three second scene.

(in a fandom like good omens I don't have to worry about it. I have my queer besties, my fav lesbian couple, and a lot of representation.)

so.

mcu's representation is bad representation.

every time they write a queer characters they're all "you see that? we did that!" like they did something special- but they didn't.

they write gays for the straight, in order to feel better about themselves and make straight racist sexist homophobic ppl (the "I'm inclusive guys!!!" kind of person) watching it feel better ab themselves.

(I'm not gonna start talking about the fact that this entire post talks more than anything else about the way the mcu treats women, bc it's a rabbit hole I'm not ready to talk ab cause I've been jumping in it for too many years.)

(sorry anon ily)

10/20 edit: valkyrie is bi my bad🧎‍♀️

[vriska]

i dunno if it makes sense narratively, characters do worse things to themselves than what has happened to himiko this arc and yet she just. dies. what

well the idea is that Toga can't exactly exist freely how she wants to in this society nor can she just stand by and let Ochako die because even an easier world to live in is meaningless without her

So it makes sense rather than be captured and force to live as a villain by society's standards (because obviously you can't just undo everything she's done at this point even tho i fully support her getting off scott free, i accept her for who she is, the atrocities are a part of her and i've decided they're funny) she'll give her life so that Ochako will survive

Ochako for the first time made her realize she could do more than just take blood, she made the selfish Himiko Toga act selflessly!! the only way I see out of this that other people have brought up is maybe having Hawks be the one to save Himiko's life after what he's taken from her and you know maybe he could use his influence to absolve Himiko of some of her crimes if he doesn't die saving her but idk, Horikoshi rly needs to follow through with society itself needing to change and adapt so that the league of villains doesnt happen again, all of them were failed by those around them, they weren't inherently evil people at all

Himiko Toga does deserve a world that's easier for her to live in and Ochako deserves to be the one who saves everyone, her quirk is not meant for hurting people and her losing Toga after all this would just feel so so bad but I literally don't trust hori cos like, its the GUYS who survive the insane shit, but Midnight, the USA lady, and even Lady Nagant were killed by shit other heroes would've survived easily

in conclusion no matter what its clear Himiko was deeply in love with Ochako and Ochako loved her back and it was the love of another girl that 'saved' Himiko

[umemiyan]

Hiii robin! If you're cool with it, I wanted to ask, is there a certain moment with your selfships when you realize you ship with them, or is it a slow process that just kinda happens?

hi romy!!!! ❤️

tbh it kinda depends and i'm not always totally sure LMAO i'm a little all over the place with it. like a lot of the time i have a hard time deciding and i'm trying to create a classification system in my head akfjofijwe tho it probably shouldn't be that deep my brain just loves to cling to systematization and gets frustrated when it can't properly execute it lmfao. but anyways i shall try my best collect my thoughts and describe how i perceive my tendencies!!

i'll put it below the cut bc i always ramble lolol

there are definitely some ships where it was more of a slow progression and i had to eventually be like "yeah okay this is what it is" because it was getting to the point where they weren't going to leave. i could easily envision more in-depth scenarios between them and myself and/or lore that just seemed to naturally spring up and i just kept thinking about them all the time.

i'd say megumi is a good example of the slow-burn. he honestly wasn't the kind of character that heavily struck me when i first watched the anime and started reading the manga; in fact, i recall being like "oh great, another little hateful emo boy" LOL (historically they're not usually the type i'm drawn to). but i got to know his character better over time and realized that like. damn. i have rather intense feelings about this guy adjewoijfwof

toji and jean were a bit more on the "slower" side of development as well i suppose. and not "slow" in the sense it took several months or years or anything (i've only been self-shipping for about a year) but it was something i had to ease into a bit more i guess.

i actually hated toji at first but then the daddy issues kicked into overdrive and i eventually started catching feelings LMFAO and jean was my first self-ship ever. he's the first one where i felt comfortable enough to imagine myself with someone like that <3 i hadn't really truly done anything like that in years, but i loved his character so much that i was starting to actually insert myself in reader stuff rather than completely detaching like i used to. i could see myself with him.

suga, on the other hand, was the kind that hit me like a freight train. maybe it's because i'm more comfortable with self-shipping now, but it was easier for me to realize it and take it to self-ship level pretty quickly. not only was i obsessed with him from pretty much the first fucking moment, but the subsequent relationship daydreams have been insane LOL i mean i gave it a little bit of time because i hate the idea of being overly impulsive and irrational due to infatuation but uh. i fucking love him lmao

katsuki is..... *sigh* idk. he also kind of hit me like a freight train, at least with the daydream scenarios and whatnot, and i was hoping and praying it was just a phase (still kind of am) but i guess i've sort of accepted that it's not. or it's at least a longer-lasting phase than most lol idk. but i can't stop thinking about him and i'd rather just go ahead and call it a self-ship instead of continuing to try and wait it out or deny it. the brainrot is bad

ANYWAYS sorry for being unable to shut the fuck up as per usual lmfao but yeah!!! i tried to give some examples of how this shit works in my mind. right now i guess i'm sort of organizing things by how regularly/consistently i think about a character over time and with what degree of ease i imagine myself with them in several scenarios, but this is by no means the sort of parameters i think everyone should use when it comes to this. people should do whatever the fuck they want i just take shit too seriously sometimes and wish i could be more chill actually instead of trying to create a classification system for everything in my brain 😃 but here we are

[withacapitalp]

this got so long i'm sorry lol. that post about jonathan hurting steve just reminds me of my number one issue w steve and jonathan/nancy becoming closer which is that the onus is almost always placed on steve to make amends and take that first step w/little to no emphasis on that effort being reciprocated. like, steve apologizes to jonathan for everything in s1 (as he should) and saves his life twice. whether or not you think jonathan should apologize for how intense the fight got is up for debate (i would just like acknowledgement of how seriously he did/almost did hurt steve) but steve def deserves an apology for 1)the photos (which he never got - obv he broke the camera but then he also bought jonathan a new one all w no actual apology to steve on jonathan's part, it wasn't only nancy's privacy he invaded) 2) the fact that he slept w nancy knowing she and steve were still together (which he literally verbally acknowledges when nancy says she waited for him or w/e). that second one obv also goes for nancy bc she also doesn't apologize to steve for leading him on for a year while having feelings for someone else then cheating on him. this isn't me saying jancy are terrible ppl and entirely unsympathetic (nancy is obv v traumatized and struggling w barb's death tho this does not excuse the way she treated steve) but they both did some fucked up shit to steve that ppl rarely make them acknowledge or even feel bad for, which creates a v unbalanced dynamic imo.

Oh boy this did get long!!

So this might just be curating different fandom experiences, but I don't personally see a ton of Steve being the one who has to make amends in fandom or Jonathan and Nancy not having introspection on their pasts. In canon I totally see that though, and it's a lot. Like I think they're all just really human, which I love. They fuck up, and they mistrust, and they have to learn and grow into being close. It isn't automatic.

I think like.......here's my thought process. Apologies are nice. Apologies are good. The right thing to do is always to apologize if you feel like you've wronged someone.

But I also think Steve wouldn't accept it.

Okay I'm putting the rest under a read more because I'm going on a little meta rant on Steve Jonathan Nancy and why apologies are a complicated thing for them and ultimately not what any of them really need.

First Steve because he's my blorbo. Steve is a really interesting character. He has this veneer of extreme self confidence that hides a really soft core of a person that ultimately experiences a significant amount of rejection. He has this brittle exterior that's bitchy and snarky and gives as good as it gets, but things touch him in a deeper way that I think is easy for a lot of people to ignore. I could totally see Jonathan awkwardly trying to bring things up to maybe try and apologize only for Steve to be like nah man we're fine! It didn't work out no biggie, I'm aok, you guys work together and we didn't.

Steve is constantly searching for validation and love (Implied because his parents are neglectful or at the very least have an extremely bad marriage that would be enough to add layers to anything) I think that the bullshit conversation really impacted Steve in a significant way, but if he shared that, then he's leaving himself vulnerable to getting hurt again, so he would do everything in his power to truly make everyone think he's okay, even potentially making himself think he's okay too, when deep down he isn't.

I alsoooo don't really think that Nancy or Jonathan necessarily feel bad. If Steve is pushing so hard to say he isn't hurt, then eventually I could see them not thinking too hard on it. Jonathan because in canon they aren't really friends obviously (Which is a goddamn travesty by the way I wrote an entire series of fics because I hated that they weren't friends) and Nancy because Nancy is an extremely self focused person.

Not selfish. I think it's important to make the distinction between selfish and self-focused. I don't think she's intentionally doing things to hurt the people around her for her own gain, but she thinks about how things effect her and how things impact her first and foremost. Not even just with Steve, but with everyone. A good example of this is in season three when she cost Jonathan his job too with her sleuthing. Her boyfriend who is in a very bad financial situation at home and could have really used a job that actually pertained to his interests and might have lead to future relationships in his industry. She didn't feel bad about that, she was too focused on the injustice to her. Even something as simple as never knocking when he's in the dark room and ruining his pictures over and over.

She just doesn't think about other people, which makes sense! She's a teenager, she's a privileged person, and she's smart as all hell. She gets extremely focused on doing the 'right' thing (according to her rules and her mind because she knows she's smart and thinks she's the smartest in the room always) and she misses doing the best thing a lot of the time.

For Steve, someone who is clearly extremely not self focused-which is also not a great way to be because extremes never are- and Jonathan- Someone who has been forced to put his family first his entire life- that is always going to be a point of conflict in her relationships with them.

But I don't know if we've ever seen Nancy give a genuine apology in the show, and I honestly doubt we ever would. It's not in her character really. But! Regardless of all of that, apology isn't really the end goal. Saying your sorry shouldn't be the end of something. I would much rather see Nancy Steve and Jonathan grow into people with more empathy and ability to own up to their shit/call people out on their stuff in the future rather than rehashing their past again. Unfortunately I have a feeling season five is gonna be a lot of rehashing lmaoooo

[sothischickshe]

4?

Thank you 😘😘

4. How much do you trust the reader?

Oof well the reader im most concerned by atm (cos ~theoretically stumbling through a draft😓) is me, and I'm not sure I trust that bitch at all 😅😅

This concept [particularly re ~comprehending the story/aspects] is a bit of a tricky balancing act I think, bc if you as the writer have sat with something for a long time espec while editing/rewriting/tinkering it can be really hard to get a sense of what does come through clearly, espec in a first/single read. And with serialised fiction like multi part fic which isn't published at a fast regular clip, it's impossible to know how much a reader might recall about what's happened already (maybe fic chapters need a 'previously on' segment?!).

Plus and maybe especially as a lover of ambiguity, it can be really hard to know if the sense/s you've tried to convey as an author have come across coherently. I think that's just something you have to accept if that's a style you prefer, and you can figure out how to develop certain aspects/skills better to help; if you want to be surer of things coming across relatively clearly you may have to explicate pretty explicitly and/or repeat more.

But I suppose this is why writing primarily for oneself is important -- if it works for you, then maybe by definition it works for this idealised reader 🤪 both in terms of quality but also of joy, eg if you include easter eggs which make you cackle, maybe they'll brighten someone else's day too!!

further, if you wanna trust the reader, you've gotta create a scenario where they can trust the writer, SuReLy? For example, if you as writer HAVEN'T nailed down what's happening with characters on and off the page or how truthful they're being (in convos but also ~pov) that tends to show; trust of hypothetical ppl probs needs to be earned too.

Ofc whomsoever 'the reader' is is gonna be varied! Can you trust that any reader is going to pick up on your context clues? Obviously not! But I do think writing towards an idealised good faith audience concept can be encouraging.

I suppose it also depends on what you're hoping to trust the reader to do tho! if you can identify, maybe you can ~aid:

Eg: to read your story? Well OK, maybe you can promote it better. To read your story alllll the way to the end? Well OK, maybe you need to focus on making it continually engaging; cut some chaff; have an endpoint in mind. Trust the reader to respond/feed back to the story? Well you can at least request that if it's important to you, and specifying what areas you particularly seek it for will likely help. Trust the reader to interrogate the story? Well, I think certain styles probably encourage this. Trust the reader to reread the story? Well, you better make it engaging then!! Etc etc

Ultimately, I've had ppl comment on my stories in a way which implies they've misunderstood what I was trying to convey, maybe that means I've left it too vague, or that they were bringing their own assumptions and/or didn't read carefully. Does that mean I should trust no readers/completely change how I write? I don't think so, espec when I've also had other ppl engage with the ambiguity in a positive way, or try to crack a secret of the story open, or take the time to try to understand references they weren't familiar with at first glance, or ref things implied-but-not-stated as if they were on the page. It DOES mean though I can consider that it may be worth clarifying or repeating important points if I want them to def be understood by more readers, and that there's some areas where it's probs worth being more specific (eg did I think the setting was obvious cos I could imagine it clearly but maybe that didn't translate and someone could get it totally wrong?). Also how you approach this for different kinds of stories can be v different! Eg a 1500 word short story can easily be v ambiguous & fun for a reader to play with interpreting vs a 200k one probs needs more clarity to not alienate the audience -- if you're referencing line 1 on line one million without any mention of that topic in btwn, I'm not sure you can expect ppl to remember what you're on about!

So I suppose it's about deciding what reader/s you wanna be able to trust -- just you? Just an idealised perf reader type? Or more broadly, and if so how wide? Can you make it work on multiple levels?? And overall yea, I don't think you can be asking an audience to trust you without making it abundantly clear you're trustable at storytelling!

Writing meme: ashamed edition!

[whispers-of-masser]

(DalishThunder/Bananders Main blog here) ummmm i need you to know that I slurped that fic up like the finest of wines through the silliest of straws

I'm hootin

Im HOLLERIN

descending upon this like a pack of starved pirhanas

im IN LOVE with your prose!

Also, literally NEVER worry about giving your characters (esp the main one even if they are a reader insert) personality! A distinct personality makes them feel more real and honestly makes for a much more interesting read than a bland sort of insert where you're giving them very little flavor!

Loved the tamrielic weight stuff LOVED loved LOVED it

Anyways those are my thoughts at the moment, please accept my humble offerings of adoration

!!!! Hihi!! Your fellow nebarra-simping anon has ✨ identity✨ now !! Also that means a lot tyyy You're definitely due a lot of credit for it even existing though, would never have written it if it weren't for your amazing fics

(also I swear I saw some fanart of Nebarra doing exactly that, drinking through a swirly straw, and now I'm losing my mind trying to remember where I saw it)

I'm so glad u liked it tho!! I uhhhh may have written some other stuff immediately afterwards but it wasn't the fluff I expected it was v spicy and I belong in oblivion for it. Tbh tho I don't know how much more I'll write (maybe I should take requests? would help with dusting off the Writer's Corner of my brain and get more practice in). Also I lost track of where I was going with this so mOVING ON

But omg the tags I put on it tho – I've always seen the tags as my place to ramble random shit and last night I went way overboard, just rambling. But last night I rambled so much that even Tumblr had enough and cut some of it off 😂😂 I'd hit the tag limit. Nebarra brainrot all the way

Also who adores who 🥺🥺 bestie u were my inspiration you gave my Nebarra-starved soul the finest fics it could ask for and I'm so grateful, ur amazing pls have a wonderful day everyday bc u absolutely deserve it

[minmin-pal]

im just gonna nab that "dead man's questions" and stick it in between watching part 4 and 5, kinda gives me vibes of like spy secrecy type stuff lol and ngl i was about to search it up automatically but i'm glad i refrained from it now. so the plot follows a character whose passed away? is it some type of flashback or maybe an 'afterlife/ghost' adventure? i don't know which or if either are right so i'm just pulling stuff outta my guessing hat lol

i might just have to accept this inevitable heartbreak either way tbh, just watching characters go on an adventure, have fun, develop and just generally live makes it very hard not to get attached though ig that just comes with the viewing experience. the 'waiting for them to bring the person back' bit is so real though, ngl i always end up forwarding and end up ruining a series for me because "when is this character getting brought back???", to the point i end up not paying attention to the rest of the series lol(/lh) though i'll make sure to not do that when watching jjba :D W series fr

and oh! you've watched naruto? you said the 'original naruto' so i'm gonna go out on a leg and assume you didn't watch Shipudden?(/genq/nf) could I ask what were your thoughts on the story (however far you got into it?) maybe like favorite/disliked characters? parts of the plot you liked and didn't, did you have any critics of the series (both manga and anime, assuming you read the manga too)? (/lh) any opinions on the legendary Sannin? generally, just your thoughts on it i suppose

and oh yeah fair fair, the intro bit i brought up since i kinda tiptoed around it when i was searching up watch guides and didn't want watch anything that might've spoiled anythin lol (may have been too careful for no reason lmao) the intro was just the first clip i saw of the actual 3d bits (i'm in the 'not know' side whether that style/model was consistent with the actual 3d used in the show tho) but wait they animated the powers n stuff to be 3d?? that's actually super cool wha (/gen)

took me a while to understand that 'death 13' was the name of the episode, and ohh it never occurred to me about the 'copyright issues' bit though i guess it's the same reason why people will always use names like '"barbucks" for a shop in their story whose icon looks awfully like Starbucks lol. i usually watch my anime subbed, though which would you suggest for this one? do you usually watch in subbed or dubbed? but eh yeah, might not matter much but still ty for the heads up! (/gen)

no but truee, the foundation parts make the lead up to the big punchy monster powers bit even more satisfying though :( and jonathan, yeah yeah! i've seen very small smidges of him here and there, i briefly consulted the wiki page of his because i wanted to find a clip of his voice without spoilers and omg he sounds so cool! :D i didn't scroll down any further down the wiki though, there weren't any "spoilers ahead!" warnings but i didn't wanna take any chances :')

oh yeah, sxf is actually a pretty good example of a 'polished' anime artstyle similar to other modern animes tbf, the sharp difference when i try to compare the two in my head made me snort a bit ngl (/lh) the style and story (from what i've seen of jjba and sxf so far at least) are so stark in contrast but they're both so good too (/gen)

twt has already shoved in my face that apparently, eren dies for mikasa or something? i'm not in the know of all the details but the shock factor is definitely eh- minimized now i suppose lol, and oh a tier list might be a fun idea if your up for it! how do you manage to keep track of the ones you've read/watched? or is it just a 'welp i'm relying on my memory for this' type thing? (/hj/lh) sxf really carrying both jjba (with no one being safe lol) and aot in terms of fluff, i feel as though i'm jinxing myself and that the ending might not be happy either but i;m crossing my fingers it is lol, and yea dw abt getting off topic, it's fun to read tangents (is that how you use the word)

mangakas favorite drink are the tears of their fans :') (/j) but props to you for managing to get the titan lore, i've seen a lot of people say it just confused the heck out of them and some said they dropped it so i hope you were able to enjoy it :D (both the series and the 'head-ache inducing' lore /hj/lh) 

and yay no problem! i'll admit when i read your description of it, i tried to do the same actions? like laughing but not making any sound, i definitely looked very goofy while doing it but i remembered the term 'croak/croaking' so it was a fruitful endeavor :D (/j/lh) i apologize for the tmi ;')

 "Chainsaw Man is a character-driven story that manages to conclude itself in 97 chapters, and its due to the author focusing on the main characters and its themes," i didn't think it could be explained so simply in word form but that actually does make sense. "All the battle shounen stuff is just being used a medium to tell the actual story, it's not the story itself." just this description alone summarizes it well i'm assuming and now that i think about it, really makes csm stand out tbh. Almost all anime i can name off the top of my head (action/battle genre ofc) really does focus on "different states and nations all preparing to fight one another for [ cue overarching plot point ]." Character development and personal introspection don't tend to be the top priority, well aside from the 'shonen mc moments' such as ya know- tanjiro, izuku, etc.? (/lh) or from what i can gather at least lol

but honestly, i didn't know csm concluded at 97 chapters! the fact the author was able to just- start it, do what he wanted to do and end it as planned (or at least i'm assuming? i haven't seen any articles with the clickbait tagline of "csm creator dislikes/isn't happy about [ ... ]!") it got pretty popular too so that's awesome to hear, and yea true actually, i can see you and other people like denji and the fact that both the "Mineta Minoru is Expelled from U.A. High School/Shinsou Hitoshi Replaces Mineta Minoru" tags on ao3 collectively have over 5.8k fics says enough lol 

spy was definitely a very wholesome show and it's just so, so nice to watch the family dynamic form and grow<3 dunno why but i liked how they were able to incorporate bits of yor and loid's profession into their parenting styles what with yor helping to cause the iconic damian scene and loid with attempting to sneak in to change anya's grade lol, but oh! what's your thoughts on franky? ngl i kinda love all the goofy stuff he pulls and gets twilight to do lol, but yeah tbh yuri's bit of being secret police and his scenes with anya are some of the only highlights of his char i remember when watching ;; (/lh) obsessive brother still kinda shocks me with how it's pretty prevalent as a trope tbh but also what's your thoughts on bond? also what was your favorite and maybe least liked episode or mayb chapter of sxf? 

it's been a bit since i found the site but i can binge all the chaps now so heads up an ask abt that in a few hours :D (/lh/gen) your so right about that thoo, having characters that could just be irrevocably bad people can be done but managing to make them appealing/getting the readers to feel for them is such a sign of being a good writer, but also yeah managing to cause your readers pain thru them is to be applauded too lol (mangaka's really do enjoy their reader's pain /j/lh) 

how have all the scenes you've shown be so pretty, my brain would assume it's just specific detailed scenes but i have the very sneaking suspicion that the whole manga is styled like this and i'm very much looking forward to it,  even if i covered her facial expression her hair swaying and clothing ripples(is that what u call it) somehow portrays emotion so well, how even? (/lh/pos)

i was confused on who 'nameless white-haired guy' was until i read the next sentence and i just went "ah" lol, and oh kinda sucks he got gassed too much but damn that personality is just yikes lol (from what i've seen of the one scene ofc) and oh there'a dif other guy? in about 30 minutes i'll see this hoodie dude so i'll end up finding out, i know he won't be 'as bad' but i'm looking forward to seeing how bad? uhm, basically looking forward to the chapter, hope that made sense or the sentiment at least got across lol, and yea no worries i'm reading your response at the same time so there might be dead ends/random tangents in mine that i didn't notice so- sorry about that :') 

And ah yea that makes sense, I'd actually be pretty surprised if you were able to remember specific little details but glad to hear you enjoyed it :D the analogy of 'cramming before a test' hit me on a personal level lol (/hj) and oh, was nijimiya the girl mc? she really does seem like a sweetheart and help I never knew she had a younger sister, that's super cool! And yeah! The dude's character development was nice to watch too but alas ofc, tears lol

I remember reading 'Kichikujima (Freak Island)' quite a while ago, I remember it's pretty gorey though I don't know if it qualified as phycological horror? Don't remember too many details so I may be wrong, but oh yeah! I don't know for sure if you were reffering to these types but I kind of made some terms for it lol, idk they're pretty simple labels

Jumpscare Horror - self explanatory, there's a lot of jumpscares and "dun dun dunn" type music/scenes right before the jumpscare.

Gore Horror - I assume this is where kichikujima falls into? Typically, zombie and slasher movies fall into this one lol

Phycological Horror - what you just described :D and ngl ig the name for this one is self explanatory enough lol

I haven't met many people that actually enjoy phycological horror, what's oyasumi punpun if you don't mind me asking? I'm mildly familiar with junji ito's works, i only ever watched vids that dubbed over it tbh but is uzumaki the swirly one? Lackluster description ;; but I'm assuming that's the one, I also heard there was an anime about junji ito's work(s)? Have you seen it? If ya did, what were your thoughts on it? Ohh have you already watched neon genesis? I don't see many people talking about that anymore, what'd you think of it? Seeing your summary of your taste for manga/anime/etc., have you heard of dororo? I only ever watched the anime so I'm not sure whether you'd enjoy it or not, but it's one of the things that come to mind when I think of things that are 'depressing at their core' (/lh)

Figured they'd be under the isekai category tbh, the dif labels just confused me for a bit lol and yeah makes sense it'd depend on the story itself, blue lock is that one popular sports anime recently isn't it? Tbf it's been a hot minute since shield hero gained much media attention as it did before so I don't imagine much talk about it could've been going around lol

Very valid reasoning ngl TT always a genuine whiplash whenever you compare the male and female character designs, the 'probably do not see people of the preferred sex at all' comment both made me cackle and makes a lot of sense lol, the manga started at 1997 and since it's a 'weekly title', technically a chapter comes out every week, I assume that doesn't leave much time for socialization? I dunno but doing this for close to 3 decades, you'd think some actual body diversity or dif styling would be developed as the story progressed but- how did it seriously evolve backwards? This is biologically impossible??(/hj/lh)

I remember a review video I watched citing the author's response as basically saying the target demographic is teen boys anyways? I need to find the video but I'm definitely sure that was the gist of the first bit of his response, it's as if his made unique and customized molds for all of the male characters while using the singular body mold fkr every single one of the female characters ;; the fact he prolly just chooses not to is def a massive let down tbh :')

While scrolling down, my eyes instantly went to the pic so I went "Miles :D!" then woah second pic jumpscared me real bad lol, when you said you had an example in mind I didn't think it'd be such a good example yikes, the longer I look at the artwork the more I understand your point, it's making- a lot of sense, the "you can tell a lot about someone by the way they draw" part is true tbh, this whole bit is just giving me the icks ;;

But ahh, I'll be reading the killer in love manga now :D also very sorry for answering so late, I know it isn't compulsory or anything but really just have my sincerest apologies ;; /gen/pos

And yay alright, I'll try to switch it up sometime for variety lol, minjae, d'you have any that you prefer or prefer not to use?

I watched the outro as it's own clip and I swear the meme was scratching my brain since it seemed so familiar, I'm questioning how'd it even turn into that meme lol, did it take you a while to find out?

(may contain some grammar/spelling errors, srry abt that)

HI!!! :grin: aot spoilers and..... just walls of text under the cut i didnt answer some stuff since there really wasnt anything for me to add of worth-- i read everything though dw

you should read deadmans questions right after thus spoke rohan kishibe (which i forgot to mention is technically a prequel- i shouldve said that.. u watch it after tho cuz its only rlly fun if youve watched rohan throughout part 4 already) i think- (so between 4 and 5 as you said) i cant really... tell you without sorta ruining it so u just have to wait and see. i can say its like.. not the same person he was when she was alive (im messin up their prns on purpose. for extra concealing) and theyre kinda like trying to become happy by doing.. assasinations.. :grin:

my one piece of character death-related advice is to not expect their return in this series. like once theyre dead theyre dead basically would advise to not forward aswell- going backwards fine :grin:

yes ive watched the first naruto it didnt end on a bad note or anything, and i started shippuden and he was suddenly like fucking 16 so i put it on the backburner (for whats been... 4 years now.. i dont think ill get to it ever honestly naruto was fire though. when he would transform into that.. posessed fox form i ALWAYS had to rewind and watch the scene again. idk if its top 3 anime :grimacing: like people say but its not a bad show either (i watched it instead of reading it cuz it was Free) for characters i LOVED naruto. ofc i did hes the mc but like hes such a cool kid honestly. the kinda kid everyones friends with in primary school (apart from in show). the entire main gang was great but naruto and kakashi were my top 2 .. and gaara now that i remember him i liked him more than naruto when i watched it tbh-- he was just so angry and emo and fine ive matured past the age of calling fictional characters attractive but when i was 11 i was in love with him honestly heavily disliked sasuke. which is ironic cuz i hated him for the reason i loved gaara he was so angry and emo all the time-- but he hurt naruto with his edginess (technically gaara did too but i excuse it.) also he was just being a bit of a asshole. like anime rival esque asshole but an asshole nontheless this is getting long so i'll get to the show itself honestly. because its been so long i cant remember what i really disliked the stuff that i can remember are just dumb stuff that all older animes do i guess all the "sexy-jutsu" stuff were kinda off-putting plus jiraiya as a whole. i loved him but damn he was WEIRD i had to google what the sannin were cuz i genuinely forgot-- but i think theyre cool jiraiya is a bit icky, the blonde one (forgot her name) was pretty funny- i liked her dynamic with sakura and orochimaru i think his name was; was so cool. his entire look influenced who i am today i owe it all to him /hj

death 13 is both the episode name and the ability name of the person in that episode and- id wholeheartedly recommend subbed for jjba a LOT of the jokes only work cuz its japanese, aswell as the emotions in scenes personally i dont like dubs since i find that its usually more "colorful" in its original form (for that reason i generally cannot watch korean dubs of animes.. they just throw me off ever-so-slightly

jonathan looks better in the anime than the manga to me, but this is mainly because i dont really like anime characters with muscles as big as. uh.

the hercules-corona borealis great wall :grin: and in the anime they werent as ginourmous its a REALLY good thing arakis art style did not stay the same for the entire series honestly picturing the later characters drawn the way the first parts were drawn is honestly whiplash-inducing

(NOT AN OFFICIAL DESIGN. PART 5 CHARACTER IN PART 1 STYLE)

you really cant compare the jojo artstyle with sxf (probably because of all the muscles + how "harsh" jojo's shading is, and the personality in both styles)

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this is the best thing i could find ^ and honestly it looks cool as hell- the artist is really talented but with the art style i just cant envision it would be as lighthearted as sxf is it carries its own vibe to it

if youve already heard that eren dies it wont pack as hard of a punch (the punch being that THE main character died) but it will still tug on your heartstrings, if you dont know the specifics. i wont say its for mikasa, but more for everyone really eren. is honestly a result of knowing too much thats what i love about aot really.. theres no bad guys other than the big man eating monsters, but even those monsters arent truly bad everyones doing what they have to do, and thats most evident in eren once you sit down and absorb the lore its gutwrenching for remembering what i watched... i honestly have no way of tracking it. theres been a good few times i watched a show, and then realized id finished it already i probably shouldve done that, but theres no point to it now so i just use memory (which honestly shows if a show is good or not-- theres a lot of shows i immediately think of despite having watched them 3 years ago/ ex: death note, erased, jjba, and school live) (and yes thats the correct way to use the way tangents)

thats whats great about csm its not just ur average battle shounen, and its battling is second to its characters whenever i see debates abut goku vs naruto and such its just like the main thing anyone got from the series was the fights (which is fully valid) but like.. there usually isnt much character depth this is usually combatted by making the characters one character trait- something that csm flips over idk what im on about. its 11 pm and i havent slept in 2 days im so sorry if this comes off weirdly written

csm was a really short read and im so happy about that since as you said, fujimoto did what he wanted, finished, and was satisfied with it hes also working on csm part 2- which is not from denjis pov it has a whole different protagonist ive heard, and takes place somewhere else i wont be reading it, since i dont want to start anything i cant finish, but i do push you to once youve finished jojo/killer in love/ other things you feel like reading

it is really nice that yor/loidś work influenced the way they parent (esp with how yor tried to teach anya to defend herself from bullies) franky was a fun character- i liked his disguises he got from loid

bnd is cute i dont really have anything to say about him.. the whole looking into the future thing is cool though my favorite chapter has to be the one where loid is convinced yor is upset with him so he takes her to a bunch of different places.. but she was just in pain after a mission bad explanation but you get the memo i hope

i wouldnt say ALL scenes are the exact same quality as everything ive been showing, but everything is generally *really* pretty

^that was a generally regular scene, so thats just how the art is as a default its really beautiful (also that guy with white hair is the arata i mentioned-- he isnt bad in comparison to all the other ¨bad" characters.. hes just sorta a prick)

i honestly,,,.... shouldnt have said hoodie guy isnt as bad hes really bad but morally speaking white hair guy is even worse so he isnt as bad, but he isnt tame either, esp later on all your points are getting across just fine btw :grin:

i havent read kichijuma before, but i searched it up and it honestly looks really cool like really cool it has 24 volumes from what i read though so i dont think ill check it out

of the three you mentioned, i dont like jumpscare horror its just lazy same with gore horror if thats all there is to it i dont really enjoy horror mangas/animes much in general minus a select few, but for games im all for them (chillaś art's stuff is great) people i think don't like psychological horror because its more of a thing that gets to you (?) in contrast to with jumpscares or something, that it hits you and youre scared and thats sorta that you dont really shriek in fear over psychological horror, which is what some people look for in horror (yes uzumaki is the swirly one) oyasumi punpun,... is... about punpun and him traversing life (him and his family are drawn as birds. everyone else is drawn normally. he is human) i would usher you to check it out yourself :thumbsup:

also- i started dororo, but i never finished it i probably should tonight since i cant sleep ill tell you how i feel about it if i get to it (no promises though)

i get the one piece demographic is manga loving teenage boys but i guess its just dissapointing that he just... chooses not to put effort into his female characters

im so sorry :sob: i saw it on twitter afterwards and i immediately remembered what id said before it was the best example ever (and have fun with killer in love tell me all about how you felt about it :pray: )

i dont rlly mind any variation whatever u feel like

last but not least when i heard the outro music it took like 3 seconds for me to realize what it was afterwards my world was just flipped by its head (the typos are fien i made evern mroe) (and sorry this took me a minute i kept responding then drafting it then editing then drafting it again)

[radicallacceptance]

I feel so much guilt over my sexual feelings... I don't know where the line is. I think being in such a sex negative environment where there is so much focus on sexual violence and male depravity makes it hard for me to not feel naseous about sex sometimes. I've never really learned how to have my own sexual imagination. I feel like it's broken and I want to have one but sometimes the guidance helps. The porn industry sucks but I used it for a while... I struggled with stopping but I felt guilty knowing that I don't know what situation these people are in and that they are so exploited within the industry. I did eventually stop. But I still read fanfiction.

I was kind of a fujo honestly. I think I liked to dissociate from myself. Like I didn't want to project onto any female character in m/f. And I didnt like the way they were often portrayed in f/f. Less real and more childlike and feminine. And I guess just because I was into m/m... and it was available. I didn't want to fetishize gay men, but the fics I read weren't fetishizing they were really humanizing in my opinion. It's just not the same... I didn't like the girls that would treat real life gay men like they were characters they could toy around with and ship with people and treat like a stereotype. It made me really angry to see a few of the girls treat my gay male friend like that.

I'm not really into that now... I'm not fully sure I know why. I think I have some sort of aversion to male genitalia now, but I clearly wasn't like that before... I think I've always had an aversion to the idea of male genitalia inside me. Maybe that's why I wanted to dissociate from it. And maybe I did actually project onto a character to some extent, but moreso the top... Does that make me an autoandrophile? Does seeing myself as a guy that has a dick and does the fucking turn me on? Maybe... All I can say is I certainly have the thrust instinct, and I've never liked to put anything inside of me. Maybe that's not too abnormal...

I mostly read f/f fanfiction now. Or also... t4t m/m. Which I also feel guilty about because I feel like a chaser. Like I'm fetishizing them when in real life they would hate me. But idk :/ it's the best way I can find masc female characters and good lesbian sex. And maybe also having a crush on that one detrans blogger (or... multiple honestly) made me start thinking about the bottom growth and... idk. I feel bad about it again but... I find it appealing.

In reality tho I just couldn't be with anyone that couldn't accept their female body... Or that would try to cancel me for thinking kids that hate their bodies should go to therapy and learn techniques for self acceptance... that it's wrong and unhealthy to let them transition especially before they finish puberty... Not that it matters what either of us thinks. The idea of it now, that I have to have a politically correct and pure stance on everything and so does my partner when we're just two people with barely any effect on politics anyways... I just can't imagine going back to that modern social justice mindset. It just doesn't really matter. What matters is how we treat people, ultimately. I don't need to agree with a partner but we have to be able to respect each other. And to be able to talk about our views and ideas to some extent... To have shared values.

But now I have had a real life experience with a real life masc lesbian... which I didn't think was possible for me, but it happened and I sometimes think I made it up. It wouldn't have happened if she weren't assertive enough for the both of us. She's so confident. I told her that. I said to her, "you're so fucking hot and you know it."

It felt special. But it hurt, because I knew that I was less special to her. Because she had already been with so many women and we had just met. I feel weird saying that like I'm some podcast bro that cares about body count, but it actually does matter on some level... Because I could just be another notch on the bed post for her but she was my first, and probably only for a long time going forward. Maybe that's why I didn't let her fuck me back. Or maybe I'm actually stone. Maybe I really am meant to give and not meant to receive. Maybe I could find someone that doesn't expect me to...

She's also kind of fucked up. Like sadistic. I would feel better about it if she also thought it was fucked up. She told me that she once held a knife against a girl while she fucked her. She also bit me really hard. And probably wanted to hit me, but I wouldn't talk about it first so she didn't. I don't want that. I don't want to feel hurt, I want to feel loved... I don't like it being called vanilla... I just want passionate and loving sex.

We had passionate and loving sex. She felt so good. The feel of her body and the sound of her moaning. The wetness inside her. Getting lost in kissing her. Kissing down her neck and sucking on her breast. The repetitive motion of my fingers going in and out of her. God, it was really really good. She was amazing. I didn't know what I was doing really. She told me I fucked her really good but I was scared that I didn't. That she was just saying that. And the moment after, after she has orgasmed, when we just laid on top of each other on the bed, limbs intertwined, embracing... the intimacy of that moment. Like nothing I've ever felt and now I feel so starved of it. I fucked her again the next morning.

I got really obsessed with her. I thought about her constantly. I got really excited because she acted like we were gonna be together for real. And then on our next date things were weird. I was weirdly attached and self conscious and insecure and she was aloof like it didnt really affect her either way. Like nothing had happened. Which made it worse for me. And then she changed her mind over text and said it wasn't gonna work out. And I sobbed. And got angry.

And then she texted me again and I gave her a second chance and it was basically the same thing over again. I fucked her twice in one night and some time after we parted she decided we couldnt be together. And the third time when she texted me and needed me to come over and said we would talk, I wouldn't let her turn it sexual. And I got upset because I felt like this was a pattern and also that maybe I didn't want to fuck her every time I saw her. That she was way more sexual than me and she was also pressuring me after I said I didn't want to. I felt like I wouldn't be able to keep up with her but I also felt so misunderstood. And replaceable. Like I could be anyone... because she was projecting something onto me without really knowing me.

My coworker said I got love bombed. I don't think it was intentional, I think she's just kind of fucked up. She has trauma. You know. But... it's still unfair that she treated me this way. I know I come off as emotionally unstable but I can take care of myself... She really shouldn't have talked up the idea of a future together so soon. And I knew that at the time, no matter how much I wanted it. Even when I let myself get hopeful. I knew it was too soon.