#I could be wrong but these certainly are striking similarities

[furshrimps]

This little dog has been through such incredible transformations, I'm frankly amazed she ended up not only looking like a perfectly normal elderly MinPin (she went from obese when she arrived at the shelter to being no more than a skeleton when she arrived in my sister's care, and I think the time between those 2 things wasn't very long) but also has evolved from a little snapping monster to an overall friendly (albeit quirky - and she does have some spice left in her if you force something onto her that she doesn't want, but you get my drift), people loving cuddle bug who happily sleeps on strangers laps and loves pets.

The transformation between the last two pics was so gradual that I didn't even really notice it until I looked at the older pics. At the time I really wasn't sure if her back would ever straighten again, I certainly wouldn't have been surprised had it stayed somewhat deformed, but it did. Just incredible what she has turned into if you compare it with older pictures! And once again, what a difference a fitting environment makes for a traumatized soul such as her.

Granted, she walks kind of funnily and has certain balance/ coordination issues (may or may not be caused by knee issues), but she looks pretty normal now and it's amazing.

[sagesskies]

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ʀɪᴠᴀʟ (ɪ)

✒ ʙᴜᴍʙʟɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴀꜱᴛ

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ: ᴇxᴘʟɪᴄɪᴛ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ, ʙʟᴀᴄᴋᴍᴀɪʟɪɴɢ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴇx, ꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴀ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ꜱᴛᴜᴅᴇɴᴛ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ, ᴛʀᴇꜱᴘᴀꜱꜱɪɴɢ, ᴛʜᴇꜰᴛ, ᴠᴏʏᴇᴜʀɪꜱᴛɪᴄ ʙᴇʜᴀᴠɪᴏʀ, ɢᴀʙᴇ ɪꜱ ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴄʀᴇᴇᴘ. ɪɴꜰᴏʀᴍ ᴍᴇ ɪꜰ ɪ ᴍɪꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴀɴʏ!

Yandere Rival, who is used to being second place in everything. It came with being Richard Shepherd's brother, even if the ass didn't even get to go to college, and it sure as fuck was a guarantee with having Raphael as his twin brother. But with Raphael gone, he thought: Hey! At least he'll be at the top now. They won't like him as much as they'd ever like Raphael, the thought would keep him up at night occasionally, but that’d be easy enough to get used to. 

And that was the case for most of second year, where people respected him a bit more and stopped looking at him as just the stupid, brutish brother and now as the stupid, brutish, ‘King’ of the school. There were certainly other, more well liked people, but they didn't have the same control like Gabe did, simple as that. 

Yandere Rival who is able to keep this status till the third year. What was meant to be his year, is now yours. 

“Who even is this guy?” Gabe slams his food tray to the table with the force of the anger building beneath his skin, some of the fries jump off and land on the metal surface, “He's some new kid, and yet-” 

Gabe is interrupted by the sound of laughter, he grips so tightly onto the side of the tray that he thinks that if he held it a bit tighter there'd be dents. 

“Sam,” He takes a deep, shaky breath, “Tell me. Is it from his table?” 

“Uh, I don't think you'd want to know..” 

“Samuel Moss,” Gabe feels the anger inside him weaken from satisfaction when Sam flinches, “You don't want to test me right now. Tell me, right now.”

“..Yeah.”

Gabe strikes his fist against the table, the harsh sting only serving to piss him off further, “Damn it!” People stare, but he can't bring himself to give a single fuck. Besides, Luke is here to glare at them hard enough for them to look away. 

“Apparently, this guy's from the city,” Sam explains, “They're all probably just fascinated ‘cause he's a city boy, they'll move after a week or two.” 

Gabe is still staring at him. He's surrounded by people all around the lunch table, they're all laughing, smiling, having a real laugh. 

Gabe digs his nails into the skin of his palm, ignoring the pain when he draws blood. The humiliation from earlier today during gym class is still there. He can't believe it. Bested in dodgeball by some kid from the city. 

He recalls their brief conversation, and he can feel his face grow hot with anger. 

“Like what you see?”

“What are you? Are you gay or something?” 

“I could ask you the same thing. Maybe you shouldn't stare so much. You're sending the wrong message.”

“You'll be fine bro,” Luke claps him on the back, foolishly oblivious to the irritation in Gabe’s eyes when he whips his head around to scowl at him, “This [Name] guy, I bet he won ‘cause of dumb luck. I mean- he had that loser Todd on his team and that guy has absolutely zero hand-eye coordination.”

“You know the word coordination?” Sam paused, a single inch away from taking a full bite from his sandwich.

“Shut up, asshole,” Luke scoffed. 

Gabriel tunes out their bickering, and focuses back on [Name]. 

He was like Raph in a sense. The two of them shared what seemed to be a natural finesse when it came to communicating and speaking with others, as well as an aura that attracted people to them like moths to a flame. But that was where the similarities ended. 

From what Gabe saw earlier, [Name] was cunning, a bit more quick witted than Raph who, while he was pretty smart, was no match for [Name]. 

[Name] glances at him, and their eyes meet again like they did back in gym, and [Name]’s already present grin seems to widen.

He mouths something, it takes Gabriel a few moments to process what he said before turning red once more, and swiftly turning away.

You're staring. 

Well, he was definitely not. 

Yandere Rival who you clearly don't take seriously, at all. After all, why would you waste energy caring about some dude who was a bit too obsessed with you, when you were too busy with everything else going on in your life? 

Yandere Rival who always felt like you were one-upping him on purpose. Oh, Gabe led the football team into winning against the school’s rivals? Well, [Name] was the MVP in a basketball match against the previous state champions. 

Yandere Rival whose thoughts are consumed by you. You're just so infuriating! You're so cocky, arrogant, and stupidly handsome that it's distracting him even more. There's an unexpected side effect to this, which is Gabe pulling out his dusty sketchbook, and drawing you in various unfortunate situations just to try to vent his anger. 

There's a drawing of you being burned alive. A drawing of you being eaten by crocodiles. A drawing of you getting hit by a semi-truck. A drawing of you… smiling after a match… based off a photo of you he cut out from the school paper… and pasted on his wall. 

The last time Gabe put a pen to paper was before Tommy left. Tommy set him aside, and asked him to make him something he thought he couldn't draw.

Gabe did it, only because Tommy looked jittery, and when he showed it to Tommy, his older brother told him, “Well, see? You can draw it after all.” 

Tommy took that drawing with him when he left, and Gabe never felt like using his sketchbook again after that. 

Now he's the age Tommy was when he left them, and amidst his childhood art is the face of his most hated rival. 

From the slant of [Name]’s nose, to the shape of his lips, to the very length of each individual eyelash, Gabe had somehow captured a scary amount of detail of [Name]’s visage. 

He hates to admit it, but he has been staring at [Name]. But it's not his fault when [Name]’s appearance is just so naturally distracting.. He needed a way to get the image of him out of his head, and he believed that drawing would be a good way to just… eject the guy's face out of his mind. 

So here he is, bent over his desk, sketching out every little piece of [Name] and breathing life into the images of him in pain. Gabe grips the pencil with a tense hand, and drags it across the paper to make the final few strokes… and then, he’s done. 

The pen falls from his hand, and he looks at the image. It’s of [Name] in sportswear nursing a sprained wrist. A realization hits him and he scowls.

“Fuck, not again.” Gabe buries his head in his hands and groans. This was the fourth time. The fourth! The fourth time that he’s drawn [Name] from real life. [Name] had sprained his wrist because of an accident during practice and Gabe saw him outside the school infirmary in the same exact outfit with an icepack on his wrist. 

His heart aches for a moment, and he curses once more. 

No matter how much draws [Name] in pain, he doesn’t feel any better. Not one bit.

There is none of that satisfaction that he had gotten with Raphael. Although the night it happened, there was a hollowness that carved itself inside of him, there was also a side of him that was pleased at the sight of the dirt and blood beneath his fingernails. Proof that he’d done what he needed to. That he’d taken care of his problem like a man, and saw it through.

And while Gabe wasn’t the kind of guy to sit around and.. Ugh, ponder about his feelings, he did have to admit that it was weird hurting [Name] didn’t seem to sit as well with him as it did when he got to beat up whatever dickbag stood in his way. 

If he couldn’t bring himself to use his fists, then maybe he could try to use his brain this time. 

With a deep breath, Gabe picks up his pencil and starts to write. 

How do I ruin [Name]? 

Yandere Rival who tries many things. He makes vast, elaborate (not really) plans that he executes to varying degrees of success. Sometimes he plans to sabotage you during basketball practice. He tries to defame you through his ex who’s part of the school paper. One time he placed laxatives in your water bottle… except it was your teammate’s water bottle. 

The only thing all plans had in common was that they all failed.

Honestly, he starts to lose hope. There's just so many schemes a guy can attempt to pull of before realizing that maybe he's not meant to be an ideas guy, and more of a physically assault and attack kind of guy.

But then…

Yandere Rival who, one day, he's coming out of the showers after practices and racking his brains trying to think of another plan, he hears the sound of your voice as soon as he steps foot into the parking lot. You're in Coach Jones’ car, a hole in the window from when the last year's seniors threw a rock at it, and you're unbuttoning his shirt. He's unzipping your jacket. And…

Yandere Rival who had to restrain himself from charging straight at the car, practically tear the door open, and drag Coach Jones out of the driver's seat and pound his face to an unrecognizable mess with his fist. That disgusting old geezer, Gabe knew something was up with him. And you…! You… Fuck. He's too pissed off to string together a single sentence that could describe what you were making him feel right now. 

Yandere Rival who has shit grades, who can barely focus during class, and is as calm and as patient as a bull in a China shop. But he's not that stupid, okay? Because as much as the rage threatened to swallow him whole, it clicked in his head that he could use this, exploit this little vulnerability of yours. 

[Name] was hooking up with the coach! 

Yandere Rival who tucks himself into bed for the night, but can't sleep. Seriously, he can't get the sight of you in the coach's car out of his head and it's burrowing itself deep inside his mind. It bothers him more than it reasonably should. He didn't question it earlier because it was so shocking, but now that he's had the time to stop and think about it.. 

Why were you in the coach's car to begin with? Surely, if you were gay, you'd at least have the standards to fuck somebody that wasn't, you know, the sleazy coach. Somebody your age, with a better body, and who wasn't a huge pervert.

Yandere Rival who is so busy pondering why that he doesn't get any sleep, and he's occupied by it even when he's watching Sam and Luke beat up the little loser Marty Kaye and steal his camera. The question grows louder, echoing further when he's finally managed to catch you and the coach again. The leaves and branches inside the bush scratching at his letterman jacket, the camera light flashing red as he takes a picture of the two of you at the school parking lot late after school, nobody around except the athletes who are preoccupied with practice, the coach has his nasty lips on yours and he's pawing at you like a desperate animal. The entire time he ignores the way the front of his pants starts to tighten.

Yandere Rival who develops the pictures himself in the school's darkroom, and makes as many copies as he'll need. He makes ten, he takes one and keeps the rest in a shoebox beneath his bed marked with a simple ‘DO NOT OPEN’. Before he goes to bed one night however, he ends up taking one of the photos out of the box and as long as he didn't look at the coach... He would never admit it but you looked fuckin' hot.

When it's just the two of you alone in the locker room after gym class, he corners you after your shower and waves the picture in front of your face with a cocky smirk that grows as your eyes widen and your face grows ashen with dread. 

[Name] tries to snatch the photo from him but Gabe dodges easily, stepping backwards and sticking it in his pants for good measure. An image pops in his head, a desperate [Name] tackling Gabe down to the floor and digging through his pants to get the picture. His hand brushing against his clothed crotch. The thought has his cheeks heating up for some reason.

“Fucking-” [Name] grits his teeth and his hand balls into a fist, “How'd you get that?”

Gabe hikes his pants up, hoping that [Name] can't see that he's blushing, “That doesn't really matter now does it? You should be less worried about how I got the picture, and more about what I'm gonna do with it.” 

That shut [Name] up quite well, the other teen bites his lip before clicking his tongue. He crosses his arms, and has the nerve to let out a scoff, “Huh, okay. Tell me then,” He leans back against the tiled walls, “What's your great plan then? For your sake, I hope it works better than the previous ones.” 

Gabe hates it, but in that moment he can't help but flinch, whatever gravitas surrounding him dissipated, “You knew-”

[Name] barked out a laugh, he throws his head back only for it to come down as he shakes his head and sighs, “I'm not an idiot like you. Jesus Christ, you couldn't be more obvious if you tried.”

The tip of Gabe's ears turned red. This was fucking embarassing, not only did each plan fail spectacularly, but [Name] knew, he didn't do anything to interfere in them, yet they still failed regardless. 

“Whatever,” Gabe clears his throat and avoids making eye contact with [Name], who is now the one sporting an amused expression, “Anyways- Aren't you wondering what I'm gonna make you do?” 

When Gabe was imagining how it would go down in his head, he envisioned [Name] panicked and visibly distressed. Practically sweating buckets as he rambled on about how he would do anything for Gabe, as long as he didn't reveal his secret. 

So far he was getting what he didn't want. Apathy. 

Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. [Name] didn't look bored, but he did look irritated, and Gabe was getting the inkling that this was the closest he'd get to an emotional outburst from him. 

“Honestly, Shepherd, no offense but I just don't think you have the mental faculties to come up with anything that isn't extortion,” [Name] pauses for a moment, before his lips curl into a wicked grin, “You do know what the word extortion means, right?” 

“I know what it means!” Gabe has to remind himself that he can't yell, so he settles for hissing out the words between gritted teeth. 

[Name] laughs, “Ha, yeah… sure,” He smirks, “So… was I right?” 

“...” 

Honestly speaking, Gabe hasn't thought much about what he'd do. He was so caught up in figuring out how to use the camera, then how to develop the pictures, then making the copies… that he hasn't really stopped to think about what he'd actually do to [Name] when it came down to it. 

[Name] could probably tell, since he rolled his eyes, “Whatever.” He adjusted the towel around his waist, but before he could actually take another step Gabe grabbed him by his arm. 

“Hey, I didn't say you could leave-”

“Shepherd, unless you wanna see my dong, then I'd strongly suggest you let me put my clothes on.” 

“Oh,” Gabe lets go of him. He can feel his own dong start to harden for some reason and he tries to will it to settle down, to no effect.

“Yeah,” [Name] snorts, he turns around before he can see Gabe's buddy perk up, as he leaves to go change he mutters under his breath, “That's what I thought..” 

The sound of [Name]’s footsteps grow farther, Gabe can eventually hear him open his locker and the faint muffled sound of him digging around for his clothes. 

Gabe slumps back against the wall. He glances at the clock on the wall. 

12:11. 

He'd have the entire lunch period to think of what to do with [Name], if he couldn't right now.

“Fuck,” Gabe mutters under his breath. 

Why didn't he think of what to do last night?  

His cheeks burn red. 

Oh right. 

He was doing… that. 

Gabe drags his fingers across his hair the same way his mother used to when he was young. For some reason, it was always able to settle his mind. Perhaps it was the repetition of the sensation that calmed him. 

Nonetheless, it got the job done. But now all that was left in his mind was the quiet and the quiet was making Gabriel tap his foot against the floor and rub his palms together restlessly. 

“Oi, [L/N],” Gabe finally calls out in the silence, but when he gets no response he immediately straightens. He looks at the clock and curses. 

12:18. 

Gabe walks swiftly to the lockers, trying not to slip, and groans when [Name] isn't there. 

He kicks a locker and ignores the sharp pain that follows. 

“Bastard!”

Yandere Rival who confronts you after school, he waits for you outside the lockers after the basketball team’s practice ends and doesn't waste a moment before he drags you back to his own car; Heedless to your protests. 

He's had the time to think, and he's decided on what he wants you to do. 

“You're gonna be my henchman.”

“...What the hell are you on, Shepherd?”

Yandere Rival who uses you as what we would call a PR manager. You're a tool yes, but a valuable one. 

Yandere Rival who only has what can be called a proud smile on his face when news spreads around school that Gabriel Shepherd and [Name] [L/N] were now ‘best of friends’. Meanwhile the expression on your face can only be described as ‘bitterly resigned to the fate of spending your senior year as Gabe’s fake best friend’. 

Yandere Rival whose reputation grows significantly once he has you in his circle. You're practically his right hand man at this point, and you may as well be. You're certainly better at planning than he is, and you definitely have a better understanding of other people and what makes them tick. 

You come up with many, and I mean many ideas about how he can make people like him more and honestly they work.

Yandere Rival who starts hosting more parties, using the large land that encompasses the non-farm part of his home when his dad is off on a business trip, and hosting parties at either Sam or Luke's when his dad is around. Never yours though, strangely enough. But forget about that. The parties. Oh lord, the parties. Good alcohol, good music, everybody who is anybody at the school is present, and really, you're the one to thank for how well they always go. It makes Gabriel more popular, yes, but it also increases your own popularity, which is an unfortunate side effect. 

Yandere Rival who, for the sake of keeping up the facade that the two of you were the absolute bestest of friends, does his best to attend all your games. Heck, he even has Sam and Luke bring along a banner they made the artsy geeks make to support you and waves it around while practically bellowing out: “Go [Name]!” The entire time. Does he enjoy it? …Maybe. There's a small part of him that has fun going to these games and cheering you on. There's an even smaller part of him that he makes sure to ignore, a part of him that enjoys carrying out all your creative plans not just because they improve his standing, but also because… it's just fun doing them with you. Even if you’re an ass. 

Yandere Rival who pulls off more wild things with you than merely throwing fun parties and sometimes pulling pranks on the teachers. 

The weekend before the big football championship, you and Gabe, accompanied by Sam and Luke, take a trip to two towns away where the school’s biggest rival is located and by nightfall, the four of you break into the building to steal the school’s ‘lucky charm’: The Spirit stick. 

The four of them had climbed over the chain link fence near the track field, Luke catched Sam and Gabe catched [Name]. The air was chilly, and the earth was soaked and muddy from the rain. 

“Let’s go through under the benches, we don’t want to be tracking mud on the floor,” [Name] tugs the hood of his jacket further down his head.

“Alright,” Gabe places a hand over his eyes, clicking his tongue when droplets of rain manage to slip through. 

They make their way to the double door leading inside the school, unfortunately there are chains around the handles of the door and a padlock holding them together.

“Shit,” Luke grunts, “What now?” 

“Should we go back?” Sam turns to Gabe. 

“Nah,” [Name] is already crouching, he pulls a jackknife out from his jacket, “I’ve got this.”

Luke snorts, “Ha. What are you gonna do? Cut the chains?” 

[Name] stares at him blankly, only to pull out each individual part of the jackknife, exposing that it had a lockpick set inside. 

“Ah…” 

[Name] raises a single brow, completely unimpressed, “You were saying?” 

“Whatever man, just get to it.” 

Gabe has done many things since he’s become… ‘friends’ with [Name]. He drank alcohol, did a bit of weed, and snorted some coke. Hell, he nearly hit a deer when the two of them were driving them back from visiting [Name]’s dealer in the next town over. 

Let’s just say that Gabe was a bit (just a bit!) distracted. 

([Name]'s lips, plush and wet, parted slightly with a joint stuck in between, just a bit of tongue exposed between the gap) 

But that was all small stuff. This? This was most definitely a crime. Not like he was going to complain. Nah, he had Sam for that.

“Dude, are you sure we should be doing this?” Sam’s eyes kept flashing back and forth, warily watching, waiting to see if anybody was around to catch them in the act. 

“Aw, you scared Sammy?” Luke cackled, he was leaning against the wall, covering [Name] on his left, “You’ll be fine, your daddy’s the damn chief of police.” 

“Fuck off Luke, don’t be a dick-” 

“Shut it,” Gabe was covering [Name] from view on the right, you can say what you want about Gabe, but you can’t deny that he’s got a good glare, “Both of you.” 

Luke rolls his eyes, yet concedes. 

Sam lowers his head, “Sorry..” 

[Name] glances at Gabe out of the corner of his eye, and Gabe can see there’s a small smile on his face. A silent thank you. 

Gabe scoffs, but he can’t help the smile that creeps on his face. 

The more time he spends with [Name] the more he finds that the guy isn’t as bad as he thought he was. Seriously, sometimes he forgets why he even hated [Name] so much. He was a good guy, all things considered, except for all the drugs, alcohol, and now this. 

Nobody has done something like this for him before, not Sam or Luke, not even any of his brothers. It was strange knowing that somebody was willing to commit an actual crime for his sake. Gabe isn't even sure if they're friends, they shouldn't be, but it was hard to think that considering everything they've been doing together. 

Gabe still can't forget what happened at the last party. Every time he blinked he would remember the sight of [Name] with his wet shirt sticking to his chest, absolutely drenched after diving into the pool on a dare. But that wasn't what mattered. Nah, it was what happened later. It was clear that [Name] was still a bit drunk, and when he went to get a towel, but took longer than he should've to come back Gabe…. got worried. 

He thought [Name] slipped or something, and so he went to look for him, only to find the guy dozing off near the laundry machine below the cabinet the towels were in. 

Gabe tried to wake him up, but instead through a series of events, he ended up bringing [Name] up to Sam's bedroom and tucking him in. He wasn't even allowed to go back downstairs because [Name] would stir and glare at him sleepily every time he even took another step towards the door. 

It was annoying, but… it was good. 

He felt needed. 

Before he could think about it further, the lock opens with a click, and falls to the ground with a weak clang. 

“You actually did it!” Sam gaped, “How the hell do you know this stuff?” 

[Name] smirks, his chest puffed out, “A magician never tells his secrets. Now come on,” He removed the chains and then held the door open, he grinned and gestured for Gabe to enter, “Ladies first.” 

Gabe glared, but merely rolled his eyes. There was no time to waste after all. However, before Gabe could enter Luke grabbed his shoulder. 

“What is it?” Gabe huffed. 

“Dude, our shoes are wet. Use the scraper mat first,” Luke points to it, and demonstrates by using it himself. 

[Name] beams, “Smart. Nice job Luke.”

Luke chuckles, “What can I say? I try.” 

Gabe rolls his eyes, “Wish you could try using your brain more during practice, maybe then we wouldn't be having to do this shit.”

Luke frowns, this was a sore spot for him, Gabe knew that, “Don't be a dick man.” 

Gabe clicks his tongue, “Whatever.” 

He ground his feet on the scraping mat instead of actually, you know, scraping, but it worked. 

The familiar sensation of hot, stuffy anger burning at the center of his chest appeared but Gabe didn't know why. Usually he could pin down what triggered it, what triggered him, but right now he had not a single clue. 

When all of them finished drying their shoes, Sam and [Name] even go so far as to squeeze the remaining water out of their clothes, Luke shuts the door behind them and Gabe takes out two flashlights he bought on one of their fuel stops. 

He tosses one to Luke who catches it easily, and turns it on immediately. After a few failed attempts, Gabe smacks his own against his palm one more time before it finally turns on properly. The two beams of bright light illuminating the hallway and the surrounding lockers. Their walls were lined with green banners, festive posters, and small flags with the school’s name and mascot on it. All in the school colors. Probably the school celebrating their ‘certain victory’. 

“Alright genius, where do we go now?” Gabe turns to [Name]. 

“Well…” [Name] claps his hand, “I guess we’ll find out together!” 

Sam’s eyes practically bulged out of his sockets, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

[Name] simply pats Gabe on the shoulder, and before Gabe can do or say anything else, he takes the flashlight from Gabe’s fingers with the deftness of a practiced pickpocket, and walks further down the hall and deeper into the school, barely making any noise. 

“He’s not serious is he?” Sam glances at Luke. 

“Don’t look at me man,” Luke shrugs, “Let’s get going before he leaves us behind.” 

The three of them catch up to [Name], though it is only Gabe who matches his pace. The two of them walk beside each other, [Name] flashing the light around, still searching for the Spirit Stick, [Gabe] on the other hand is sticking close to [Name] and not thinking about much else. Really, the only thing on his mind right now is how nice it is to be around the warmth that was radiating off of [Name], how comfortable it felt to just be beside him. 

“So…” [Name] breaks the silence, his voice is low enough that it was clear to Gabe that the conversation was not meant for the four of them, but just for them, [Name] and Gabe, “Are you mad?” 

Gabe’s brow furrows, “Huh?”

“Don’t act like you aren’t,” There’s a trace of a grin on [Name]’s face, but Gabe has come to understand that grinning is merely a reflex for [Name] at this point.

“Why would I be?” Gabe whispers back. 

[Name] opens his mouth but before he could speak Luke speaks up in a volume that Gabe never heard him speak in before, “Pst, guys! How about we split up? 

[Name] looks like he’s about to protest, but Gabe cuts him off, “Alright, let’s meet up here in… twenty minutes?” The four of them were standing at a crossroads, south led the way they came, north was further down to where Gabe assumed the cafeteria would be, and then there was the west and east which Gabe assumed would be where the classrooms were. 

“Yeah, that should be good,” Sam nods, “Luke and I will take west, you guys take east?” 

“Hey wait-” 

“Sure,” Gabe grabs [Name] by his arm and is already dragging him along despite [Name]’s protests, “Let’s investigate the north side if we don’t find the spirit stick.” 

“Aye aye, captain,” Luke playfully salutes him with a goofy grin on his face, before giving them a wave goodbye as he and Sam went down their own hall. 

Gabe and [Name] got farther down the hall before [Name] shook Gabe’s hold off of him with a very heated glare.

“Gabriel,” [Name] hisses, “Why did you do that?” 

Gabe shrugs, “I don’t want those two idiots overhearing our conversation.” 

That was a lie, a big boldfaced lie. Gabe would rather die than admit it, but he felt like Sam and Luke were sort of like… third wheels. Guh. He wished there was a better way to describe it, but Gabe’s limited vocabulary left him with only that term. Additionally, he didn’t like how buddy buddy Luke was getting with [Name]. 

They weren’t meant to be friends. Really, Gabe, Sam, and Luke shouldn’t even be doing this with [Name] at all. Period. But at least Gabe had an excuse, he had an image to maintain. What reason did Luke have? That’s right. Nothing. The oaf was better off sticking with the other oaf.

[Name] rolls his eyes, he focuses the flashlight straight ahead and starts walking, “Why are you such a dick to those two guys?” He glances at Gabe, who was steadily keeping pace with him, “I thought you guys were friends.”

Gabe chuckles, and for the first time he got to see a confused expression on [Name]’s face.

“Oh, you're not joking,” Gabe halts, “Well… we're not. They stick around because I'm the only popular guy they can actually tolerate.” 

And not to mention what happened with Raph. But well, that was just one of the… more important factors. Still, at the end of the day it was just one of the bullet points on the list of reasons why it was good for them to hang out with Gabe. 

“Dang.” 

“Cat got your tongue [Name]?” 

[Name] shrugs, he peeks around the corner and flashes his light down the hall, “Tsk, still nothing…” 

Gabe sighs, he doesn’t appreciate the sudden change of subject much, but fine. He can admit when there were more pressing matters to attend to. The longer he stayed inside the school the more he got creeped out. Since he was young Gabe had a fear of the dark that got better as he grew older, but as the two of them continued to walk down the dark halls, lined with metal lockers, and decorated to show school pride, the more Gabe felt like something was staring at him.

“What’s the Spirit stick even look like?” Gabe doesn’t want to, but he squints into the darkness anyway. 

[Name] glances at him from the corner of his eye, and the half of his face that Gabe can see in the barely illuminated darkness is giving him a very deadpan look, “Your girlfriend literally carries the damn Spirit stick for the pep rallies.” 

“She’s not my fucking girlfriend,” Gabe glares at him, “We just fucked once.” 

[Name] smirks, “Not yet at least. A little birdie told me that she really likes you-”

“[Name],” Gabe stops walking, and stares [Name] down with an expression that, based off [Name]’s flinch and sudden folding in on himself, does exactly what he intends it to, “She’s not. My. Fucking. Girlfriend.” 

He didn’t like to think of her. Not that the sex was bad, really it was decent. Mediocre at worst. Nah, what made it hard to think of her was the memories of what he had to do to win a place beside her in bed. He still can’t look her brother in the eyes sometimes. 

Besides, he didn’t want to talk about her. Not in front of [Name]. For some reason, him talking about Gabe’s sexual escapades just… made him feel weird, when he’d usually be raring to boast about it. 

[Name] rolled his eyes, but his shoulders were noticeably more tense and his grip on the flashlight seemed to grow tighter, “Fine. Whatever. Sorry, I guess.” 

The rest of the walk was spent in utter silence, broken only by Gabe’s occasional request to you to flash the light in a specific direction, before once more being enveloped by the heavy blanket of an awkward silence. 

Eventually the two of you did find the spirit stick. Near the school trophies, right outside the principal’s office, encased inside a glass box, that was unfortunately locked. However, Gabe had you, and you had already displayed an unusual prowess at picking locks and this was no less easy. The two of you meet up with Sam and Luke at the agreed upon time and get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. 

Yandere Rival who, when he gets home, can’t sleep. Seriously. The earlier conversation was still playing in his mind and he just… God, he was so stupid! Why’d he have to snap at you? You were just teasing him like you usually did. Why did this bother him so much? It shouldn’t. Yet it did and- Grah. 

Gabe spends the night tossing and turning in his bed, his mind is restless as the image of [Name]'s hurt expression plays itself over and over. Each time he closes his eyes, he sees him; lips pulled down into a frown, his brows knit in a pitiful expression that has seared itself into his brain like an unwanted tattoo.

He grabs his pillow and buries his face into it and groans.

"I'm such a dumbass," Gabe mutters.

Gabe closes his eyes and tries once more to go to sleep, but when five minutes pass and his mind is showing no sign of settling, he kicks off the blanket, and gets off his bed. He makes sure to keep his footsteps light so nobody can hear him moving around at- Gabe glances at his clock- two in the morning.

He opens his drawer slowly, and pulls out his sketchbook. Flipping through the pages of his childish drawings and his sketches of the man that's keeping him awake, he pauses when he catches sight of his barely legible scrawl.

HOW TO RUIN [NAME]

Gabe can't help but scoff. Technically he did succeed. He had [Name] under his thumb after all, didn't he? But it was undeniable that [Name] was far from ruined, if anything he seemed to be doing even better than before.

He's about to go to another page, when his eyes land on a drawing of [Name] smiling wearing a t-shirt and basketball shorts. Gabe remembers the reference he had for it. He didn't do a live sketch, no, it was all just his memory.

[Name] was hanging out with his friends, carefree and genuinely happy, and Gabe just so happened to be driving by the town's community basketball court where they were playing a game. He simply glanced outside the window, doing a bit of people watching since the road was clear, and the sight of [Name] had him rolling his eyes and he was about to turn away, but then he smiled and he was taken aback by it's brightness.

So taken aback that he stopped driving altogether and was now in the middle of the road, straight up staring at [Name]. He was snapped out of it when a car behind him honked and the driver was waving his fist at him angrily.

Gabe chuckles, it was funny now in retrospect, but it wasn't so funny that it distracted him from how embarrassing the situation still was. He takes a deep breath and exhales, feeling the air release itself in how the tension in his shoulders seem to lessen.

An idea pops into his head as his gaze continues to rest on the drawing. Gabe chews on his bottom lip as he thinks about it, before finally opening his drawer and taking out a pencil. He turns on the table lamp, and guides the pen on the paper to draw the look that's been keeping him awake.

Gabe wonders what [Name] means to him at this point. He didn't hate him anymore, at most he felt a bit irritated when [Name] would tease him. He liked him, but not in the way that he thinks a friend should like a friend. His version of like is a little crackling fireplace in his heart that's keeping it warm. He doesn't know if it's normal, if that's what being friends with somebody felt like for everybody else.

But [Name] wasn't everybody else.

Maybe this was just a special kind of like that only Gabe could feel, and he thinks he's fine with that.

☏ - ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇᴍᴀɪʟ: [ɴᴀᴍᴇ], ɪ… ᴊᴇꜱᴜꜱ ᴄʜʀɪꜱᴛ. ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ. ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ.. ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ��ᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀꜱᴛᴀɴᴅ ʀɪɢʜᴛ?

[sammaggs]

4x02 Easy Money // 3x01 Burning Down the House // 3x02 Eclipse | Rift

Something that always strikes me about Ray's moment of reconciliation with his father (in a show that might as well be subtitled Fathers Kinda Suck Huh???????) is the way this scene in particular is shot.

They focus especially on Ray's bracelet as he extends his hand:

Which isn't the only time they've focused on Ray's bracelet during Important Character Building. There's of course, his intro in Burning Down the House,

The close-up on the similarity with Marcus Ellory's bracelet in Eclipse,

And a bunch of other moments over seasons 3 and 4 that basically use the bracelet as a quick visual stand-in for "Ray Kowalski's a little bit different."

It’s something Ray Vecchio would never wear; hell, it's something most cops would never wear. It's a little bit, as Ray Kowalski would say, queer.

And so is Ray Kowalski.

The decision to focus on this bracelet during the exact moment he offers his hand to Damian as a peace offering is therefore, to me, worth considering. I personally read this as an indicator that part of the reason for Ray's rift with his father was his queerness.

And the first thing Damian says to Ray after they shake hands?

He compliments Ray’s experimental hair! He mentions another “queer” element of Ray’s physical appearance—one his father has likely given him a lot of grief for—and accepts it. Metaphor!!

It is, of course, understandable that Damian would have wanted better for his son than to be a cop, and this isn't to say that there isn't a world where that might have been enough to cause Damian to lose meaningful touch with his son for a decade. It certainly made sense for Ray Vecchio's father, who was likely involved with low-level mob business. But it does seem pretty extreme for Damian!

There's also the beautiful scene where Ray tells Fraser about his family in the precinct mess. At the very end, it really does look like he has something else he wants to say... but then Huey interrupts.

Now I am, of course, aware that Ray was dating or engaged to Stella at the time he graduated Academy. So what could his queerness possibly have to do with anything?

Well, as much as many of us wish it would, your queerness does not disappear when you enter a straight-passing relationship. I've even seen interesting ruminations in fic that some of the early hardship in Ray and Stella's relationship—remember, they broke up for a while during her college tenure—might have been due to the fact that Ray was interested in (or even caught) experimenting with men.

A personal anecdote, if you'll indulge me: I was in my mid-twenties, four years into a relationship with a man I thought I was going to marry, and tormented constantly by the idea that I was, probably, queer. I had no way of finding out while I was in a committed monogamous relationship. When I told my own mother that I thought I was bisexual, she told me it was all right—but also to never, ever tell my father. Even though I was in a relationship with a man, the knowledge of my queerness would have been enough to potentially cause a rift between my father and I that I don't know if we ever could have repaired. [editor's note: i'm a lesbian now and my dad and I have a stellar relationship ftr but i did have to marry a whole man first so] [editor's note: i am also the editor]

Ray gets caught with a man while Stella is in college? Or Stella knows and tells Ray's mother while they're drunk on wine one night? Or Ray's parents find a magazine... or a photo... or a stamp from the wrong club... anything. There's a million reasons why Ray's queerness could and may have come up even while he was with Stella, even while he was monogamous. Because he was still queer.

I know there's a certain element of "sometimes the curtains are just blue, dude, chill” to all of my meta, but when it comes to this show in particular I very much operate in my analyses from a place of "everything is intentional." Small details really do matter; the way scenes are shot matter, the words that are used matter, there's intentionality behind it all. We can't know or understand authorial intent, of course, but we can read our own interpretation of that intent into it. (The author is dead but Paul Gross thought Callum Keith Rennie was hot, so)

This is, after all, another episode directed by George Bloomfield, who also did Burning Down the House and is responsible for that "love at first sight" moment in Say Amen, so the direction here is in the hands of someone who is clearly in lock-step with Gross around the inclusion of queerness in the latter seasons of the show.

This moment is interesting to me in particular when considering intent because I actually would prefer to see Ray and Damian's faces in this moment! I want to know what Damian is thinking, or if he frowns. I want to know if Ray looks nervous or concerned. We don't see that at all.

Instead of seeing them over the GTO, we get the close-up on the hands and the bracelet over the rebuilt engine.

Rebuilding!! They're doing it.

And that makes my little queer heart pretty happy.

[leonawriter]

Okay apparently I'm going to do a study on this introduction, because going back to it? Especially knowing more about Hakuba via more recent Magic Kaito chapters? Fascinating stuff.

So. Hakuba's introducing himself, and he starts out by bringing up "My father spoke of you often" and "It seems you're a very sharp detective." Both of those are positive!

Hakuba is... high society, compared to Hattori simply hanging out around high ranking people and treating them like normal. Hattori argues with Kazuha in a very down to earth way, while Hakuba knows how to drink tea and probably how to set the table with a full set of cutlery (or at least how to use them).

So, Hakuba using their fathers to introduce himself is, to him, a normal enough way to say "I've heard good things about you, we're similar, I hope we can get along well."

What's more - Shinichi realises that, pretty quickly. Even if they hadn't met previously, he'd have been able to figure out by the words being used, that Saguru's father knows Heiji's father, or that they're in the same business.

If anything, I'd say that this slight culture clash is the second step of things going wrong between Hattori and Hakuba here, right after Hakuba being present at all, since Hattori had wanted Shinichi to take his rightful place where Hakuba is currently sitting.

Strike one, strike two.

Unfortunately, it gets worse from there, and I'm gonna go into it.

But then Hakuba brings up that he's not even fully based in Japan. To which, mostly Hattori is just "wait, what?" - but although I'm sure he means it simply to be as clear as possible, that could also be read as "I would say that, but I'm actually better." As in, being smug.

Strike three.

Still with "Kudo is the high school detective of the east, that's obvious, isn't it?" and rubbing salt into the insult to Hattori's bro with "they'd have liked me to represent the east in his place" but...

Oh boy.

This... this is also where I just stared and held my head in my hands because now? Because of something Hattori's said, and what he's going to continue saying/leaning into... we need to go back in time.

All the way back in Hakuba Saguru's first appearance, the papers say "just returned from London," suggesting (as I've seen someone say before) that he'd spent at least some, if not much, of his youth in Japan.

Certainly, he doesn't seem to speak with an accent in the present day, so he can't have grown up in the UK and only sometimes lived in Japan.

In Japan, however, he is referred to as...

In Nakamori's (uncouth) words at their first meeting, "Y-you're that bastard from London!"

No mention of how he has a fully Japanese name, partially Japanese features, a Japanese father, and no accent.

His introductory splash also frames him with the Union Jack behind him, showing off his Holmes cosplay and light hair. Almost all the major characters in the series have blue eyes, but here it's rather... plainly emphasising his Western features. His non-Japanese-ness.

Now, I do have to wonder if Gosho wrote that back in 1990 and hadn't given much thought to it. I certainly don't think it was intentionally cruel.

However, by volume 40, released in 2003, he's learned a bit more about social prejudice, and shows this with the Professor's First Love story:

This shows something that happened 40 years ago in-universe, with a girl of Japanese-American descent who has light, gingko colour hair, being very aware of how different she is, and not wanting her friend to see. She calls her hair "weird" and starts to cry.

Coming back to the present - content released in 2006 - let me go back to Hakuba Saguru.

Hattori "That's obvious, isn't it? And yer not even from this country to begin with."

Oh, Hattori. Only the previous case had you seeing how words can be as sharp as knives, and can hurt people.

Saguru doesn't seem too bothered at first, however...

First off, he points out that it isn't even his fault he's "taken Kudo's place" in the first place!

They contacted his housekeeper, who he's been shown to be very close with (I'd hazard a guess to say that, having not seen his mother at all, or seen her mentioned, Baaya is closer to him than his parents are), and when she heard that her charge would only be taking someone else's place since they weren't there, she got offended on his behalf.

Saguru, who loves this woman like she's literally his nanny, could hardly say no at that point.

More to the point: how he says "But it appears I am unfit to represent the East..."

So now we have Hattori having come in wanting his best friend to be represented and not sidelined just because of circumstances out of his control, and being in a bad mood immediately because of someone else having been called in. He also possibly inflates the number of cases he worked on or solved, by including childhood adventures, leading Saguru to point out that his count is only low if you only count the ones in one country. Saguru attempts to make friends with him regardless, and that doesn't work because Hattori is still stuck on how Saguru is "taking Kudo's place" and then focuses in on how Saguru "isn't even from this country" which... starts leaning into the uncomfortable territory of "Hattori I love you to pieces but are you being racist/xenophobic right now?"

I say that in the context of how Japan has a really big problem with seeing anyone who isn't fully Japanese as Not Japanese Enough, as I went into earlier. I don't think he's aware how he's coming across, by the way; he's simply got a big case of foot-in-mouth.

So now instead of having come to this conclusion organically and naturally, Saguru is offering to take the place of "Guest Participant from Overseas" to placate Hattori.

I'd imagine he won't be wanting to tell Baaya about that, for sure.

Saguru goes on to suggest that Conan (i.e, Shinichi himself) should represent the East instead.

I reiterate: they could well have come to this conclusion over a friendly conversation, because of how they have five detectives. But instead now Saguru has ceded his position to (as far as he knows) a child. A very clever child, but a child nonetheless.

The next time we're back at the island with Hattori and the others, he's already decided he doesn't like "that smug guy."

As said before, there are plenty of things that Hattori could have picked up on that'd suggest Saguru "looked down on people" and "had a prideful way of thinking" and he certainly could appear smug in his achievements.

Hattori himself says that Saguru was "was like a copy of [Kudo]." But he has decided he doesn't like Hakuba, therefore he won't like Hakuba.

A moment of Saguru bonding with Natsuki over their natural brown hair, a shared trait - we can see him smiling after saying "But... there aren't any tv cameras yet, so you could do what you want for tonight?"

In a way I feel like I'm making too much of a big deal out of this one thing, but I'm not the one bringing attention to it - Gosho is. Gosho's the one who reminds us that kids get into trouble for their natural brown hair, and Saguru got that too.

Those who've read Magic Kaito will know that he DOES have a Japanese school uniform - but as we saw at the start of the post, when he arrived, he arrived from his school in London.

This further emphasises how he's set apart from the others.

(An aside: it's entirely possible that his "school abroad" is more likely him going to sixth form, since our Secondary schools last (or did for me) up to the age of 16, and depending on the time of year he may have transferred over to the new school year already. Or he's just finishing his last year of Secondary. We don't know.)

Honestly... I'm going to leave this at that for now, because for one thing the post got away from me a bit, and became longer than I expected, and for another thing, I've covered the majority of the first meeting and both of them getting off on the wrong foot.

In short:

Hattori arrived with an idea of slipping Shinichi into the event, and was offended and upset when someone was already in his place. He, being the loyal friend he is, wasn't willing to simply let it lie.

Instead of backing down and accepting the situation and make friends with the new detective - who Shinichi knew and was acting friendly with, and who was willing to befriend him - he let his bad mood get the better of him and made offensive remarks of his own, most of which to the others would seem entirely unwarranted.

Because of that, Hattori still has a bad opinion of Saguru, and Saguru's opinion of Hattori has gone from "my father's spoken of you [positively]" to "rude asshole."

Neither of them are innocent, but when you look at them individually and fairly, neither of them are the only one in the wrong, either.

Like... no wonder they don't get along from here on? Wow.

I did not expect there to be so much in it, but there we go.

[solitaryandwandering]

A Ramble: Love in the Big City Eps 3-4

Okay, so I finished this episode like half an hour ago and I am still processing. I am so impressed with this show's ability to showcase different shades of grief. I feel like I'll probably cry at the end of every section but it will feel completely different every time. Please do not expect anything less than a LONG ramble.

Again, I just have to admire the direction - each part so far has felt completely distinct but not in big, showy ways. Part 1 of this show was a more traditional coming-of-age with warmer, brighter colors and more dynamic editing, camera movement/angles and blocking. I'll have to go back and study this more but it felt like there were more eye level and overhead shots, too. Part 2 is darker, slower, with more frequent use of stationary camera/static shots and wide angle shots. There were a couple of striking long takes as well. We linger in wide, empty spaces, forced to be still as we watch what unfolds.

Many of us talked about queer loneliness in the last episodes which is obviously going to be a present theme throughout the entirety of the show, but I was struck with how different the loneliness felt in these episodes. Especially in episode 4, as Young gets further entangled with Noh Young Soo, he becomes isolated in a way he wasn't in Part 1. Then, he was lonely but surrounded by people. In Part 2 he is removed from his community and so his loneliness is more starkly evident. The direction reinforces this by literally isolating him or keeping him at a visual distance. We don't get as many intimate close-ups as we do in episodes 1 and 2.

And again, I may be totally wrong, but I think we can actually see a kind of transition in style in the way episode 3 opens up. Episode 2 ends with the lighting on Young's face becoming gradually darker, then I believe the episode begins with a dolly shot moving backwards as we face Young running. It's a more active camera with movement within the frame. Yet, the colors are relatively muted and Young is looking down the barrel of the lens with an exhausted expression. It's distancing instead of inviting. After that unhurried shot we then cut to a grounded static shot where Young runs from one side of the frame to the other. From then on, I don't think we get very many, if any, moments of similar movement. Other dolly shots I can think of are when he's pushing his mom in a wheelchair - not exactly a high speed chase and still within the framework of a long take. There's certainly none of the quick editing from Part 1. The score is also way more melancholy.

Moving on, what these episodes really had me ruminating on was the concept of ownership. As queer people I think one of the reasons why Pride has become such a big part of our culture is because it gives us a space to own ourselves publicly in a way we often aren't able. We can't always show up as our full selves, with all our history, community connections, complex relationships with our identities, etc. Young is a cool character to watch because it seems at the beginning of the show that he is self-actualized, totally in charge of his queerness and integrated with his community (as Yeong Soo also believes). But of course, it is a lot more complicated for him (and for most of us). In these episodes we could see more of what he has (and continues to) sacrifice in an effort to own himself. It is in spite of people determined to steal his spirit. It is an active fight, one he feels helpless in the face of when he attempts to take his own life in episode 4. And that attempt is also, in a way, a claim he lays on his life. Only he owns it, only he gets to end it. I don't think that was his thought process obviously but it did strike me. It was also interesting to me how he attempted in the apartment he used to share with his best friend, a relationship he no longer has.

More broadly there was a lot going on in this section about how we approach taking ownership of our own experiences. How we shape them to fit in with a narrative we want to believe about ourselves and our lives or a narrative others would want for us. At the end of episode 4 Yeong Soo sends Young his observations on homosexuality (his way to distance himself and claim a different more "objective" or "correct" perspective of his own life). He literally tells Young he hopes his reshaping of their experiences would inform Young's future work. He is both refusing ownership and attempting to control Young's self-expression. In the entirety of their relationship he did much of the same, refusing to claim Young as his boyfriend in the way he wanted or recognize him as a full person while presuming he knew everything he needed to know about him and life in general. Young is restricted to the same experiences over and over, going out to eat the same foods, playing the same song, hiding himself away. Quite literally, his ability to experience everything he loves about life is stunted.

These episodes also had me reflecting on how we give up ownership or have it taken away. Young Soo treats Young as his dog, stifling his (and his own) identity and sense of freedom. He isolates Young from friends and community. What's devastating about their relationship is that Young wants some kind of ownership; he wants to belong to Young Soo and for him to belong to Young. At the very least, he wants recognition. But this becomes twisted up in Young Soo's self-hatred. Young Soo has elected to give up ownership of his identity in favor of a particular mold. He favors comfort and has chosen very specific things he can own and love as a part of his identity to replace genuine connection. Rather than own his feelings he observes others'; he tries to own Young and his experience, to live vicariously but also to shape him. He envies Young's ability to own himself and his sexuality but is afraid of it. He has dedicated himself so much to a particular picture of reality that he can't conceive of Young ever facing legitimate danger or opposition because of his sexuality. If he hates himself, it is only natural, an extension of the life he lives and who he is (a "macho" intellectual). He owns and then marinates in his negative experiences to validate his refusal to engage with a wider reality, one in which joy can exist in a homophobic society. Even in his attempts to own Young he fails because it is impossible for him to draw any closer to himself. Yeong Soo can't own someone who refuses to give himself up. He doesn't bother to get to know Young beyond his assumptions (he can "see right through him," after all). He strips self-ownership from Young in the same way he keeps it from himself.

And then there's Young's mom, who has fabricated and owned her own set of experiences in a similar way to Yeong Soo. She devotes herself to heterosexual and Christian ideals, believing that God and marriage are true north even as her own marriage fails. She claims ownership over her narrative and attempts to justify her approach in asking her son to believe in and own the same kind of life. When he threatens her sense of ownership over her own life (already threatened by her husband's infidelity) she scrambles to 'correct' him by sending him to (I'm assuming) conversion camp or some kind of psychiatric institution. In doing this she has cut Young off from owning his own life and experiences. She essentially makes it clear to him that his life is not his own. He is stealing from hers. And so, steals from his to prove a point. He gives up so much of his time to care for her but she doesn't acknowledge this at all, more focused on the ways in which he fails to give up parts of himself she's dissatisfied with. His mom writes Bible verses by hand, to ask her life to conform to what she has chosen for it. To her, ownership is absolute: one God, one true way. Even as she is aware she doesn't own her son's life.

How do we reclaim ourselves as others tell us to throw it all away? What do we do, as queer people, with what is forced on us? Do we choose to own our lives, our identities, or do we give up parts of ourselves to survive? At the end of episode 4, Young takes the manuscript Yeong Soo sent him and instead of recycling throws it in the trash. He tells his mom, "It's not my trash." I saw this as him choosing himself again. He does not have to carry self-hate as Yeong Soo does. He does not have to take the sum of his experiences and let them pile up in a corner of his mind. Yeong Soo treats Young as a possession and so does his mother - someone who exists for their benefit. But he doesn't - Young lives for himself. And isn't that so, so lonely?

Last thing, but this was the moment in the episode that first got me crying. When his friends show up at the hospital after his suicide attempt. Young's friends own themselves and their community and don't ask of anything else from him. They show up for him as who he is and allow him to repossess his community even as they are kept from him, on the other side of glass. Even as his mother looks on, disapproving. Their friendship may be more superficial but that doesn't make it any less meaningful.

If you actually read this whole thing, congratulations. I wasn't kidding when I said it was a ramble! I'm actually okay with waiting until next week for the new episodes this time, I don't know if I can handle much more waaahhh

[imtrashraccoon]

He's here, he's here, he's here!!! I love this pretentious guy so much! This chapter is certainly a different one though...

@owl-bones

First Day, Previous Day, & Next Day.

Bad Sansuary: Nightmare - Sunset

Word Count: 2,296

You opened your eyes to find yourself laying in a field underneath a cloudless sky. Sitting up, you looked around and discovered the field seemed to stretch as far as the eye could see.

The grass was a blueish colour and rather soft to the touch but it was completely unlike anything you'd seen before. Some of the plants had small white flowers that kind of reminded you of cotton, otherwise it was just straight grass all around. Every now and then a warm gust of breeze would cause the grass to move in a wave like pattern and tease your own hair.

The sky was a shade of brilliant gold and you soon spotted the sun, that was just about to dip below the horizon. It felt comforting and you closed your eyes for a moment to just bask in the last of its warm rays.

A few birds darted across the sky overhead and your eyes followed them until they disappeared over the horizon. They looked like red wing blackbirds and you noticed there seemed to be both males and females flying together. Somewhere off in the distance, you heard an unknown animal make a yipping sound like they were play fighting with a sibling.

You stood up and looked around a bit more. It appeared that the terrain wasn't completely flat and while the grass seemed to only be about a foot tall, you could see places where it appeared to be taller. Most of the white flowers seemed to be taller than the blades of grass as well.

It was very peaceful here...wherever here was...

You couldn't help but feel a bit unnerved at how quiet it was. Were you even on Earth anymore? You didn't know of anywhere that looked like this but you hadn't been everywhere in the world yet.

"Hello human."

You felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end from the sound of the deep, almost velvety voice. They sounded calm at the moment and yet there was a layer of danger in their tone.

You slowly turned around to face the mysterious voice.

It was another skeleton but he didn't look at all like the others you'd met. While the boys were pretty similar to human skeletons, this guy's bones appeared to be either completely black or covered in a substance similar to what often seeped from Killer's eye sockets. He only appeared to have one cyan eyelight in his left socket while his right one was obscured by that inky substance. You didn't know if he was blind in that socket or not, and you weren't about to ask either. The most striking thing about him though, was the four black tentacles that protruded from his back.

He was dressed differently from your friends as well. Instead of a blue hoodie and shorts, he wore a rather fancy looking dark overcoat, a gold circlet with a black moon adorned his skull, and he had gold rings on his phalanges, which ended in claws.

He seemed to radiate a sort of intimidating aura and just by looking at him, you felt a wave of dread pass through you. His good eye socket was narrowed and he had a bit of a tight smile across his face. Unfortunately, you couldn't tell if he was upset or not right now.

You clenched your fists at your sides and took a deep breath to steady your nerves. At least you weren't at knife point or being pinned down, although you couldn't be sure how long that would last.

"Am I wrong to assume that you're Nightmare?" you asked.

His grin grew wider into more of a smirk. "Indeed. I see my reputation has proceeded me."

Some more blackbirds flew overhead and he glanced up at them in a thoughtful way. He folded his arms behind his back and if you didn't already know he was a god, you definitely knew now from the way he was holding himself. His tentacles slowly undulated in a restless sort of way and you found yourself wondering if he was doing that on purpose or if the tentacles had a mind of their own.

"I'll get straight to the point," he said.

You nodded and fiddled with your fingernails nervously. "I'd appreciate it... At this point, I've nearly been decapitated, pinned against walls, and threatened at knife point. So unless you're going to do something else, I've seen it all."

"So I've heard..."

You didn't like how casual he was being about this situation. The others had all threatened your life on multiple occasions and yet here he was acting all casual like you were an acquaintance. It made you feel like a pit had formed in your gut.

Nightmare took a few slow steps towards you and tilted his skull in a thoughtful way. Interestingly, he appeared to be between Dust and Killer in matters of height, yet he was still a couple inches taller than you were. His tentacles also added a few extra inches to his height but you didn't count them.

"I've known about you from the very beginning, long before you ever knew about any of my other henchmen."

You swallowed thickly but continued to stand your ground. "So then why didn't you do anything?" you asked in a small voice.

"Because, I wanted to see how things would play out. Now that all three of my boys have come to a consensus about you, I had to come meet you in person..."

He chuckled and motioned to the surrounding field before adding, "Well, not exactly in person. This is actually a dream I specifically crafted for you."

"Huh." You looked around at the grass before looking back at the sunset again. "That explains why the sun hasn't moved a bit since I woke up at least."

Turning back to Nightmare, you smiled slightly. "This is a really pretty place though. You do good work."

He seemed rather pleased by your compliment if the way he slightly puffed out his chest a bit more was any indication. He cleared his non-existent throat and his expression returned to a more neutral one moments later.

"I didn't just bring you here to show off," he said in a more serious voice. "There is something important that you need to know..."

"I didn't think so..." You sighed and crossed your arms. "So lay it on me. What's the real issue?"

He took a few steps closer until your bodies were practically touching and he could leer over you in an admittedly intimidating way. He stood there in silence for several long seconds studying you.

"You were never meant to meet any of them. You are what some would call a side character in another's story. You exist to be a cog in the machine that drives your world forward and nothing more."

His single cyan pinprick seemed to stare into the very depths of your soul as he paused to let this revelation sink in. "Despite this, you have proven to be...exceptional, even among humans. I am frankly impressed that you managed to befriend my henchmen, despite everything they put you through."

"I think I've shaved several years off my life just dealing with Killer alone..." you muttered under your breath.

Nightmare chuckled quietly and gave you a knowing look. "There is one problem though," he continued. "Their constant coming and going the way they have been has caused extensive damage to the code that makes up this world. It has gotten to the point where it could collapse in on itself without warning."

"What?"

"Just that, not even I could do anything to fix things." He paused for a moment and studied you while you tried to process it all.

"You've gotta be kidding..." you started to say although you trailed off when he shook his skull.

"I have no reason to lie to you, human. If I didn't tell you now, you wouldn't have any idea until it's too late."

You sighed and glanced around helplessly. "Why are you telling me this?" you finally asked. "What do you get out of telling me something so awful?"

He chuckled softly, the sound of which sent chills down your spine. "I love it when people can tell I want something from them," he hummed. "I'm telling you because I would like to offer you a deal."

You crossed your arms. "There it is...what do you want from me?"

His permanent grin widened. "You have two options, human. Either you can stay in this world with everyone you've ever known until it inevitably collapses or...you can join me and break free from the limits of your own code."

You couldn't help but stare at him. The way he'd phrased it sounded so simple and yet you were immediately suspicious. You hadn't exactly heard any nice things about him, so why was he acting so...nice?

"Wow..." you finally managed to say. "So let me get this straight, you show up and tell me my world is doomed. Then, you conveniently tell me you know how to make everything better. Yeah, no, what's the catch?"

"Let's just say that there's something about you that I find interesting. I know the benefits of making fair deals and I always, always keep my word." He subtly rubbed his phalanges on his coat and glanced down at his claws.

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. If he really was telling the truth, you had an idea of what might have grabbed his attention about you. He seemed like a brick wall though and you couldn't tell if he was lying or not. You couldn't even sense any emotions from him either, save for that intense aura.

"I don't trust you..." you murmured.

He tilted his skull and smiled at you. "It's your decision at the end of the day. So, I'll give you some time to think about it, however..." His tone turned icy and his smile widened considerably before he added in a lower voice, "I only have so much patience, human..."

Two of his tentacles began to slowly snake around your back as he spoke. You tried to pull away but his grip was firm and you couldn't budge. You shuddered and had to look away from him, the sight of which only seemed to make him pleased.

"I will continue to visit you in your dreams until you come to a decision. Although, I'm afraid with the state of your world's code, I won't be letting my henchmen keep making these trips to see you for their safety. You understand I'm sure..."

You hated how he was appealing to your sense of reason. You'd probably do the same in his shoes to protect your friends, granted, he was their boss and not their friend. At least he wasn't making you choose right now...

He released you and stepped away, folding his arms behind his back again. "I'm confident you'll make the correct decision," he said with a tone that sounded like he was just about finished here.

Your eyes widened and without really thinking, you reached out and grabbed his shoulder. "Wait! Don't go yet..."

You felt his body stiffen slightly and he glanced at your hand before his gaze flicked to you. He stayed quiet but there was an unamused look in his cyan eyelight. You'd better not say something stupid and risk making him upset right now...

"I can see that you care about your boys, in your own way at least, but how is this fair to them? Do they even know what you've just told me?" you asked.

He narrowed his eye socket but didn't pull away from you. "I elected to meet with you first, but I have every intention to tell them as soon as I take my leave. I am certain they won't like it any more than you do."

You were grasping at straws here but your mind was desperate for answers that may not even exist. He wanted you for your Intent, right? Apparently, you were different from other humans and he thought it was enough to offer a deal that would potentially save your life.

"What happens if I accept your deal?"

Nightmare chuckled and one of his tentacles curled around your wrist, so you couldn't let go of him now even if you wanted to. "Now that's a curious question, hm? It all depends on you though. No doubt you know what I do and what my henchmen do for me. What happens if you accept, depends on what you can bring to the table..."

That was a non-answer if you ever heard one. You opened your mouth to retort when he reached over and actually patted you on your head.

"I'm afraid you won't be able to actually empathize with me like you have the others. Though it is amusing to watch you try," he nearly purred in a tone that sounded a bit condescending. "It sort of comes with the mantle of being a god among mortals I'm afraid."

You narrowed your eyes at him and had to bite your tongue. The last thing you wanted to do right now was offend him. At least you were capable of restraining yourself compared to certain people.

He let go of you and flashed a smile that was anything but reassuring. "I will see you soon, human..."

The next thing you knew, you were in your own bed and no longer in that field. The gravity of what you'd learned was weighing down your mind but you were too tired to make an actual decision right now. There was something else on your mind though.

You were determined to befriend him.

[cosmictyto]

Neurodivergent Nimona

(My brainspace's mostly been used up working on NimonaWeek but I've also been taken out of commission for the past 4 days by some cold/flu, so have this thing I made to get back in the swing of things.)

I know she's a trans/NB metaphor first and foremost. But as a girlie with diagnosed ADHD (and not yet diagnosed but highly suspected ASD) she's almost painfully relatable and I just wanna show this side of the character some love real quick. Especially because I don't see people talk about it all that often.

(Also from what I've heard/read the comic does lean more into themes of mental illness/ND but I still have yet to read that. I will at some point. But I'm just focusing on the movie for now.)

(Also-also a lot of this just turned into me sharing my experiences whoops)

Starting off with the most notable things:

~ Impulsivity / Hyperactivity ~

She never sits still, never hangs out in one form for very long, and partakes in destructive, potentially injurious behaviors. And like in these last two gifs, has a tendency to just blurt things out when she's excited. Even when it might be potentially offensive/hurtful to the person she's talking to. Like, hun, maybe don't bring up the man's prosthetic/arm-chopping trauma during your interview?

(The number of times I said something super bitchy/mean without meaning to tho, lemme tell ya...)

Yeah, part of that could be disregarded as "Cartoons gonna be cartoony" but even compared to others in the movie she's super energetic and bouncy. And I mean... c'mon. "Something, something, something- We win!" and that whole breakout scene is the epitome of impulsivity.

~ Stimming / Masking ~

This whole scene felt so damn relatable when I first watched it. I was NOT expecting to get gut-punched like that at 3 AM but I did! And from what little I've heard from other ND peeps who talk about this scene, it's the same way.

There really is nothing more soul-crushing and exhausting than trying to tamp down symptoms for the sake of "typical people's" comfort. To not stim/fidget, to keep eye contact, to keep from talking about your actual interests because they're only really interesting to you, to force yourself to slow down and overthink everything you want to say (for the sake of not accidentally offending anyone) to the point where you say nothing at all. Basically to act "Normal."

This affects all ND peeps, but for girls or afabs it feels worse because there's so much more... shit that's socially pushed onto you. I grew up wearing only t-shirts, hoodies, and jeans/shorts because that's what was most comfortable to me. And any time I tried to "dress nice" I wound up hating everything because of texture issues. It's only now that I'm an adult I've learned how to strike a balance so I can have more fun with my style and feel pretty while also not feeling like my skin is crawling... But I also don't wear makeup and keep my hair short for similar reasons. The amount of crap I've gotten for that is ridiculous. Or if you fixate on non-feminine things, or even like a mix of both stereotypically masculine and feminine stuff, you'll also get shit for not just conforming. For not being ultra femme like what everyone thinks you should be.

Nimona obviously doesn't really... idk, "partake" in masking, she's obvs the type of person who's just like "This is me, take it or leave it." But I wanted to include it because I know I certainly relate to these bits. And even the part on the train when she's telling Ballister her "backstory?" That felt relatable. Being ND you get this weird feeling where you have to justify your existence to others. "Why are you like this?" "Why are you so weird?" "Why can't you just focus?" etc. Because some people legitimately can't wrap their minds around the concept of others being born different for no real reason. They want something to point to for why you turned out "wrong."

~ Emotional Dysregulation ~

Admittedly this one’s a little tricky because Nims has a lot to actually, genuinely be sensitive/upset about. But, to me, a lot of her emotions in the movie feel all too familiar.

It’s not just anger. Or intense meltdowns. People focus on those because unchecked anger is more immediately problematic, and it certainly can be for both the ND individual and others around them. But it’s the highs, too. Getting so excited you throw up (happened to little me ANY TIME we went on a trip) or so happy/hyper you start yelling without realizing it. And if you get so frustrated you burst into tears, people don’t take kindly to that, either. Emotions just feel so much more intense. Like you can go from a 5 to an 11 in no time at all. That on its own can be exhausting, and so can being around others who don't get it.

Also Nims really feels coded to have some form of Rejection Sensitivity. Which, again, tricky because the whole damn kingdom wants her dead and RSD is primarily noted for one's overreaction to perceived rejection (In Nimona's case it's less perceived. The Kingdom straight-up rejects her.) But again in a sense of "Scenes feeling way too fucking relatable," the whole ending perfectly visualized what it felt like when I'd be going through a bad RSD episode, usually after a fight. Nothing exists in the moment. Just that pain and that rejection. It gets you stuck in a space that's unnecessarily self-destructive. And in your brains fucked up sense of self-preservation, you double and quadruple down. Actually pushing people away more than whatever started the episode. Either that, or you feel like the world's collapsing in on itself. It's not fun. And no one likes rejection, but it's a whole other beast entirely.

~ Odd Eating Habits ~

(Heehoo my first gif~)

Okay this one is oddly specific and it's a weird one to end on, I know. But I and a lot of other people I've talked to online about the topic experience the same thing. Just weird little habits or patterns we have. Like, for example, I like color-organizing all my M&Ms and then eating them from least favorite warm-tone color to favorite cool-tone color (So usually Y->O->R->B->G->B) and I always eat the chocolate off of my kit-kats before the actual wafer. I eat most food by saving my favorite parts for last. Finally, though I grew out of it, as a kid thicker, soft foods like applesauce, mashed potatoes, or ice cream would be eaten by me dipping my spoon in, pulling it out, and then licking the spoon. Back first, then front.

Reasonably, people look/looked at me like a fucking weirdo. But it just brought ✨comfort✨ Like it wasn't because of obsessive thinking or anything, it just felt right to do it like that. I just never had the confidence to keep eating my food like that in front of others like Nims here does.

Anyway, that's all the thoughts I have. Thanks for reading this far!

[literallys-illiteracy]

PM What the fuck? Erlking Heathcliff Trailer Analysis:

So, lets start with what we already know from the Project Moon Stream a while back:

He has a mounted and demounted form, similar to the Philip EGO states, which changes his abilites. He has a counter akin to an LoR counter, which may be reuse seemingly. And he has some capability to resurrect dead allies.

now lets start with the trailer

Skill 1 looks like its 2 coins, the strikes look like he's slashing but dont be fooled, its probably a blunt skill somewhat akin to the Erlking boss's Smackdown, or Base Heathcliff's smackdown/Upheaval.

This skill also has the potential to be "Behead Heathcliffs" or "Hollow Coffin Mace"

Skill 2 appears to be 3 coins, im predicting this skill to be "Ride for Death, Dulluhan" as he summons a Wild Hunt Dulluhan even when demounted it seems.

Skill 3 has the potential to be so many things, i think its likely to be at least 2 coins, almost certainly blunt: This skill could be "the Wild hunt of Desolation", "You'll get shoved in this coffin too", "Sorrow and Lament in the Erlking's Wake" (my personal favourite option), "Fused Blade of Shattered Mirror Worlds", "Every Heathcliff must die".

The counter is almost certainly "Glass Shard of Wailing Sorrow", which was his counter in the combat stages. Alternatively it could be "Withstand" which was his Lust-Guard, or "Heed my Call, Wuthering Heights", however ill address that option in a moment.

it appears that whatever the case his counter is somehow linked to his Mounted form, as in the trailer, on the third activation he gets on the horsey.

Now, the skills dont seem to change too much in terms of the mounted form, other than skill 2 and 3 gaining an additional coin, however i am notably very wrong when counting coins sometimes so im not entirely sure.

The revive mechanic seems to be tied somewhat to his guard skill, which presumably changes to "Heed my call, wuthering Heights" when mounted, as he seems to have a guard animation in the section the revive is shown. another thing to note is how both revived allies seem to use their skill 2's, however im not sure if that's relevant at all.

And in the skill 3 animation the enemy seems to go inside the coffin, which is why im assuming that it will not in fact be "Sorrow and Lament" but rather "Get in the Coffin" on the skill 3.

--

I want to also note the final line, which implies that EVERY heathcliff is dead??? im confused now, maybe we get some elaboration later but i cant be bothered to read most of the uptie stories in Limbus Company, last time i read one was last Walpurgis because i had a hunch it would be interesting.

[hupla222]

Making Observations

Now I know I'm an awfully silly person at times what with all my speculating based on minor observations (about half of which end up being proven wrong) but hear me out on this one. You ever notice how similar looking these two handsome lads are?

I certainly did. I've even brought it up before, although that was some time ago. It just strikes me as interesting that they both have (at base) white hair, tan skin, and yellow eyes, a very unique set of characteristics. Heck their hair even swoops the same way in the back. And, well maybe its just me fixating on something meaningless again, but they both do have similar looking belts (side note: what even is that symbol on Sidian's belt? It's been bugging me for a while now)

Now am I saying there's a connection between them? Maybe? I'm not sure. But I do think there could have been. We all know about the scrapped storyline about Friede having a brother, right? So I was just thinking that maybe in some early draft Sidian might have been that brother before his design was reused for something else. Would be one heck of a twist if that was still true and that would certainly make the brothers-verse more interesting.

All of this to say that I'm still convinced Amethio's hatred of Friede has something to do with my man (seriously why have these two boys never interacted?)

[sphinxiswinxis]

Just saw a post about it (@evergreen292) and now I wanna yap.

So like the Vengeance Saga is like strange to me? Like obviously creative liberty and choices are made the entire concept musical, like duh? Makes sense and is pretty cool usually (also lends to some fun animatics/ions).

My problem is specifically 600 strike, in mainly two areas: the jetpack and the beating of posiden. (Please note I claim no bad vibes. These are just thoughts and feelings and perhaps shall change, perhaps shall not)

1. The Jetpack

So my main issue is: it wouldn't work like that? Like, I don't know physics too good, but I'm fairly certain a giant bag of wind would just.....shoot out? Like I can get behind it shooting him out of the water, maybe even him using it to evade (via sporadic movement) but actually maneuvering? If this is the same (or similar) to the one in Keep Your Friends Close, then shouldn't it just push him in whatever direction is opposite the opening?

Now I could suspend disbelief and make an explanation I don't like but tracks (posiden's storm makes it so ody goes towards him, but then it's like, how are you passing him and redirecting) but still

2. Beating Posiden

Posiden's a god. That feels self-explanatory. But to continue, let's break down the steps in this. Firstly, Posy getting binked repeatedly; I understand shock but hun get a grip. Grab a wave, punch him? You are fighting the equivalent of a dog? Maybe a bigger animal, but in straight combat, Posiden has the upper hand completely. Secondly, it feels wrong for Ody to be able to handle a god's item? At the very least, not without major repercussions. To my (limited) knowledge, I don't think many, if any, have done that and certainly not in Epic (I am remembering that time sisyphus got Thanatos with the chains but that's all). If Ody used his own sword, I would have been able to follow (though again, the whole thing feels wrong).

Ultimately, it is as it is, and it's not bad! I just have conflicting feelings, which is cool, I still heavily enjoy Epic (Ithaca saga will be my favorite). This song specifically just felt wrong to me, but I look forward to being proven wrong or at least seeing art and videos of other interpretations

[evenmyhivemindisempty]

My friends, I am pleased to announce after thorough review and analysis I have put together a totally unbiased and completely academic ranking of Boyd Holbrook’s characters’ sexual prowesses, ranked from best to worst.

For your viewing pleasure and fandom rage. Behold.

Ty Shaw - Fucking amazing in the sack. He’s enthusiastic. He’s game. Wanna bring in another boy or girl?? Hell yeah, partner, he’s down! This man is the best combination of eager to please and self-confident without being cocky – and he’d absolutely take it in stride if you asked for him to change positions or switch things up. Life is a rodeo and he’s ready to ride! Or be ridden! 10/10

Klaber - As much as it hurts me to say it, he’d be pretty damn good. He’s got that big puppy energy and working dog excitability, and he’d definitely be bringing that into the bedroom. He seems like the sort that would let his partner take the reigns - but he can service top and service dom just as gamely as anything else. And tbh, unlike a bunch of Holbrook characters, he seems too dumb to really be able to get too in his own head about sex. 8/10

Quinn McKenna - He’d be perfectly competent. He knows what he’s doing. He’s down to do it. He’s got stamina and knows how to effectively utilize his strength and his body. He doesn’t seem particularly self-conscious, and he also seems like he’d be pretty tuned-in to his partner’s pleasure. THAT BEING SAID. He would absolutely be distracted. He’d be thinking about that meeting he has tomorrow morning as he fingers you. His endurance would be insane, but he might fall asleep on top of you before he finishes. He might kink shame you. …But he might still do those kinks anyway. This is unfortunately the last Holbrook character that is unequivocally good in bed. 6.5/10

The Corinthian - I am frankly a little amazed that the Corinthian has gotten such a fandom reputation for being a sex god! Look. This boy screams “pillow princess” so goddamn loud. He strikes me as someone that’s not afraid to get what he wants, but also doesn’t give a single shit if that’s also what his partner wants. He is a hedonist, and he is here for *his* pleasure, and unless you’re his master, you’re just the thing giving him that pleasure. That being said, he’s definitely picked up a couple tricks over the years he might bust out if you’re lucky, and watching him enjoy himself would certainly be a show! But good chance he also kills you and eats your eyes after. 5.5/10

Steve Murphy - The one thing I can say about our favorite DEA agent is that he’s *trainable*. Look. This is somebody that will do what he’s told and commit to his tasks with a laser-like intensity. He will work hard! But I doubt he thinks to communicate much about sex on his own, and if his partner doesn’t force the issue, he’s just gonna do the Standard Sexual Routine and assume you probably came sometime during the missionary. 5/10

Donald Pierce - This boy is kinky as all hell, and don’t get me wrong, there are absolutely circumstances where he could probably be a fantastic sexual partner. HOWEVER. He is just oozing insecurity and self-image issues - good luck getting him out of his own head long enough to even coax a full erection out of him. Pierce is constantly fronting and putting on a show - no way he’s gonna stop doing that when the clothes come off. In fact, it might just get worse! All that being said… he probably is pretty good at oral, and your orgasm is more important than his. 4/10

Clement Mansell - Similar to his singing, sex is a skill Clement thinks he’s amazing at, and is not. His arrogance and certainty that his dick will take his partner straight to nirvana only serves to make the mediocre foreplay and jackhammering that much worse. He will sprawl out on the bed afterwards with a self-satisfied smirk and drawl something like, “Told you I was good!” or “Bet you need breather after that, baby.”. He buys Magnum condoms he doesn’t need. The one upside is he’s got that energizer bunny gusto – if you *are* just into vigorous penetration, he’s the guy for you! 3.5/10

Cap Hatfield - Does not have sex. Does not want to have sex. 0/10

I sincerely hope I have done some psychic damage to my followers!! I welcome any additions or dissenting opinions!!

[evolutionsvoid]

The strange creatures that are found in the Underworld never cease to delight me. I am already in love with most species found upon the surface, but then you introduce me to a whole new world of incredible never-before-seen fauna?! Animals that have grown in completely unique biomes, adapting to the life underground and sometimes even surviving fellow brethren who have long gone extinct on the surface. It is a wonderful experience, and exactly why I was so thrilled to have a chance to visit the Underworld! There is so much to learn and see! I feel like I could write ten books out of all the stuff I witnessed down there! (Please don't - Eucella)

One of the creatures I want to talk about in this entry is the Wixelgolex, an intimidating species covered in plates and spikes! Any warrior or knight would be envious of such equipment! Colorful overlapping plates that ward off tooth and claw! Massive spines and tendrils bursting with nasty spikes! Beneath all that, we struggle to properly categorize what the Wixelgolex actually is. The current theory is that they may be related to mollusks, but there are certainly many details that still need to be straightened out before it can all fit into place. Regardless, the Wixelgolex shambles about the Underworld on four pairs of boneless legs, while four long spiky tendrils ensure everything else stays far away.

When it comes to eating, this heavily armored beast chooses to dine on.....fungi and lichens. Perhaps not the most impressive diet for what looks like a living siege weapon, but that be the menu for an Underworld herbivore! Or I guess I should say fungivore! The species uses their cluster of oral tendrils to grab and pull food bits into their mouth, while their long spiked tendrils spear or scrape fungi that are not in biting range. Wixelgolex move at a slow and methodical pace, sluggishly grazing through the caverns. They don't needlessly expend energy on rapid movements and such, as their armor and weaponry means they have little to run from and little to fear.

Surprise, surprise, all of these scales and spines are used for defense against predators. Good luck getting an attack past that sheer wall of armor! And that's if you even get that close! And also if you even attack the right end! The Wixelgolex's anatomy is shaped in a way that it is hard to tell which is the head and which is the rear! You have no idea if you are attacking the proper weak point! And woe be to you if you guess wrong! While their bodies move quite slow, their tendrils can snap into action with lightning speed. When hostiles approach, they will shiver their bodies, causing their scales to vibrate and clatter. This is their warning, before they start swinging. Ignore this, and you will be shredded by their spiny tendrils, which skewer, slice and maim with each strike. If you are not a large hefty beast clad in chitin like many creatures down here, a single whip can be lethal. It is why my demon guides always kept a restraining hand or arm near me when I requested to see a live Wixelgolex. They were so sure that my excitement would cause me to get too close and inevitably pummeled! I mean, sure, I was elated, but I am not stupid! I would never put myself in a scenario like that just because I was excited to see a critter! (Yes, you have - Eucella)

I should point out the massive back spines that no doubt have people curious. While the armor and whips seem fair defense against the many predators of the Underworld, the jutting spikes appear to be comically oversized. What would it need those for? Well, there can be attacks from above, as some carnivores roam the cavern ceilings and may drop down in ambush. However, I believe these back spikes are similar to the Halugyth's situation, where these are defenses for a beast long gone. Indeed, I am talking about the Malicrus, the Underworld's extinct superpredator that once haunted the tunnels. A beast whose size and ferocity would totally call for such potent spikes, but sadly those days are long gone. The monster they once feared has vanished, and now these overkill defenses serve as one of the few reminders of its existence. The sight of them for me is beautiful, but a little sad.

For the demons and shades of the Underworld, the Wixelgolex is a walking armory. It was said that in times before they mastered forging weapons and armor of stone and steel, beasts like the Wixelgolex was how they suited up for battle! Slay one of these, and you got armor and weapons aplenty! However, you got to kill it first, and that is no easy task! Though demons are strong and durable, it turns out shades are better suited for toppling one of these armored titans. No attack can penetrate from the sides or above, so they instead strike from below! A shade will crawl upon the floor, staying low and in the shadows. Their aim is to slither beneath the beast, where the armor is almost non-existent, and there they can strike a killing blow. Once the creature is slain, its scales and spines are harvested and turned into equipment. With metal armor and blades more in fashion than this organic stuff, it isn't used as much in war and serious battle. However, they can be seen in what one may call "battle casual" when you are looking for a fight or hunt, but don't want to lug around the heavy armor. For those stalking food or just on a leisurely stroll, light plates like this suit the situation far better.

And if you are a non-demon, it is also one of the few weapons and armor you can actually wield! Demon forged equipment is oppressively dense and heavy, and I certainly embarrassed myself a few times trying to even lift it! I tried a single gauntlet on once and couldn't even lift my hand! It took both arms to raise it up, but when I eased up my grip, it slipped out and nearly pulled my whole body to the floor with it! But chitinous equipment is far lighter and more my style, and my demon friends found it fitting to gift me some! I did get some nice plated armor from various Underworld species, but the surprising gift was a sword made of a Wixelgolex spine! Well, it was a sword for them, but more like a greatsword for me sizewise. Holding that while being decked out in their gear certainly made me feel like a true warrior! But that would only last til I actually tried to spar with any of my demon guides. I think I would get only one swing in before they twisted me up like a gnarled oak with their bare hands.

But I at least still got the sword! I haven't really used it for fighting, because I don't really do that. Not the kind to suit up and march into battle. I keep it more so as a memento of my trip. I know it may seem a bit gaudy or aggressive looking on the wall of my home, but many folk think it looks cool! I know Eucella liked it! When I first brought it back, she wanted to see me wield it and swing it about. She acted like she was enjoying it for the comical look of a little dryad like me holding a huge blade, but with the way she stared a few times I think she was really- (AND I THINK WE CAN STOP THE ENTRY THERE - Eucella)

Chlora Myron

Dryad Natural Historian

--------------------------------------

"Wixelgolex"

Posting a fellow that had been drawn a long time ago, but I wound up finding the initial design a case of where I flip-flopped between two concepts and wound up taking the worst of both worlds. So it sat in the "redo" section for a good long while, before I finally got around to landing on something better!

[cartcop]

I think my major issue with the finale (and s6 overall) is that Buck had SO much going on, 5 different thematically similar internal and external conflicts, and I don't feel like the show did nearly enough to weave them together or show the progress of them onscreen.

I have no idea why Buck was no longer scared to "pick the wrong couch again." I know why he was interested in Natalia specifically, but not the bigger emotional picture of how/why he got over this emotional hurdle.

I have no idea how he's changed since the lightning strike - they told us he has, but what's actually going on in his head? I have literally no idea.

I don���t know what kind of growth he experienced via the donor baby. I know he decided he could be donor-not-dad from the get go, stuck to that throughout the pregnancy, and then had a wistful moment gazing at his progeny. But that doesn't really feel like a big emotional moment when he's been saying it's not his kid for 8 months.

I know he started the season wanting more professional responsibility and ended it taking charge when the 118 was in danger, but I don't know what skills he acquired in the interim to allow him to do it successfully. I don't know how he feels about it. I don't even know if by the finale he still WANTED to lead. It was fine enough payoff, but it certainly wasn't an "Eddie suiting up in Mayday" kind of payoff.

I know his coma dream taught him Lessons but I don't know how they're reflected in his real life?

Compare how his arcs this season played out to Hen and med school, or Eddie and dating and I think you can see the massive deficiencies in Buck's season. And I'm totally aware that they need to leave things open so they have somewhere to go next season, but all of his (many, many) storylines having such a lack of emotional depth is a real bummer.

I think it would've been magnitudes better if he had really struggled on screen with the donation, so that moment of him handing the baby off to Kameron would've shown some real growth. A single conversation about him needing to not be scared to live because he DIED as an explanation for dating again. We sort of half-got a lot of these things - Buck telling everyone Kameron was pregnant and the onesie, Buck at the cemetery saying every day is a gift - but they didn't really commit to any of it, and they certainly didn't give themselves the time to flesh all of it out. All in all, for a very Buck heavy season, I don't feel like I know Buck any better, and I know he's made some steps forward, but only because they told us he did. I really would've liked to see the emotional journey to get there.

[fe-fictions]

M! Robin x Say'ri Commission (Say'ri's family suddenly grows...double in size!!)

Say’ri and Robin had been married only briefly, but they were so very happy. The stoic and composed swordswoman never wavered in her dignity when in public, but in private, she allowed her cool exterior to melt a little.

And at night, it was replaced with a blazing passion for her beloved. Robin would be lying if he didn’t say the same.

They were deeply in love, even if it wasn’t immediately obvious at first glance to the average bystander. Even Chrom wasn’t convinced by their “romance” when Robin confessed his intent to marry her.

But all doubts and skepticism quickly faded when their future daughter appeared before any other couple’s child. Clearly, the two of you worked quickly.

Her initial appearance was certainly a shock, and the thought that you and Say’ri would have a daughter not long in the future made your heart swell with love and excitement (once the anxiety at the thought of bringing another life into this world, given both your pasts).

At least, it did at first.

The battle to reach Morgan was difficult, and she was almost at risk of death. Say’ri was the one who recognized her before anyone else could.

The swordsmanship the cloaked stranger used was utterly unmistakeable.

Only she and her brother could possibly know how to fight lke that. It was specific to their noble family’s lineage; a traditional sword fighting technique passed down only to their family.

And she had passed it on to her own offspring.

“Robin-” Say’ri spoke within moments of the fight beginning, the Risen slowly making their way towards the young samurai who held her own.

You launched a bolt of Arcthunder into the mob, careful to avoid striking Chrom or Stahl as they charged forward.

“What’s wrong?” Your question was immediate; Say’ri rarely spoke in battle unless it was of the utmost importance.

“It is the stranger- they fight as Father and Mother did.”

Your gaze turned to the figure far ahead, eyes narrowed as you observed their movements. It was certainly similar to Say’ri’s fighting pattern, but you weren’t versed enough to tell it apart from other Chon’sin styles (yet, at least).

“What does that mean?”

“It means…we are of one blood. They are kin.” She stated with a swift strike of her blade, another Risen falling by her hand.

You drew her behind you to follow with a powerful blast of magic, lighting up the entire squadron that acted as another barrier.

“Could it be another Yen’fay? Or another family member from a different timeline?” He wondered, “They seem small…like a child, almost…”

“Robin-” She sucked in a breath, as if steeling herself for the words she spoke.

“Say’ri?”

“There are no children. Brother and I are the last of our family’s bloodline. Unless…”

“Unless…?”

Suddenly, it clicked. Your stomach dropped, feeling a wave of urgency crash over you.

“That is our-”

“-We have to get them-”

“-We have a child from the future-”

“-They need our help!!”

You stumbled over each other’s words, the rush of adrenaline bordering into panic when you realized how much more dire the situation had become.

That wasn’t just a stranger who needed help- that was your very own child. Yours and Say’ri’s child!

“Fie!!” Say’ri bellowed, bursting forth with a renewed fire in her eyes.

It was all you could do to follow after her, alerting Chrom and Lucina that it was without doubt another future child.

The princess wasn’t far behind, the Shepherds realigning their strategy to make a beeline for that young one.

Unfortunately the Risen didn’t relent in their attack, all but swarming your battalion when your objective became clear.

It was a race to the end, and it was putting more pressure on the stranger.

More and more Risen clouded your vision, and it became difficult to see over the monsters before you. It took a few moments to realize that Say’ri was no longer at your side.

“Say’ri- hey, where did you go?!” You shouted for your wife over the clamor of battle. She did not respond- but you did spot a flash of black hair in the distance.

“Good gods- she’s just going in alone? Is she on a suicide mission??” Cordelia spotted her second, prompting you to order the pegasus knight down.

“Get me to her!!” Your demand was met with swift compliance, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other raining thunderbolts to the enemies below.

“She’s acting on her own, but for good reason- she thinks that’s our future child!” You explained in a rush, the winged beast swooping down closer to the woman who was closing in on the figure.

“What, really?!” Cordelia gasped, “That’s wonderful, but shouldn’t she be going in with you?!”

“I agree, but I lost track of her in the latest wave-- if we don’t get this under control, we’re all gonna be in trouble!”

It didn’t take long to catch up, but by the time you were able to drop in, Say’ri had already connected with the stranger.

“Say’ri!!” You called out to her, finding she had wrapped her arms around them and all but forgotten her blade.

It was wholly unlike her, and without doubt a cause for concern.

“We can reunite later!! We’ve gotta get this under control first!!” You shouted to her, which seemed to snap her back into focus.

You were shooting off Bolganone spells one after the other, your Arcthunder having run out of pages.

It was getting down to the wire.

Mercifully, their numbers were finally starting to thin out the Shepherds working on them from the other end while you blasted them from this side.

“Robin, look!!” She called to you, as she drove her sword into a nearby foe, “She is too young to fight any longer- she is exhausted!!”

“She-?”

Your heart hit your throat when you turned to her, sparing a moment’s glance at the stranger before you.

Your daughter.

A child who appeared no older than twelve…and she had been fighting on her own.

“Oh my gods, she’s- she’s just a-”

“She cannot fight any longer- please, we must extract her from this battle now!!”

You had never seen such desperation in her eyes, before. It was as though she had taken this little one into her heart, wholly.

And you couldn’t blame her- the girl looked like the spitting image of both of you.

She was scrawny, no doubt due to being a literal adolescent, unlike Lucina. She was far too young to be on the battlefield…let alone to be fighting as hard as she was.

You nodded to Say’ri then, shooting up a flare to bring Cordelia back to you. The knight was instructed to take the girl, and you left the fight to your wife long enough to reach the girl’s side.

“Hey, we’re getting you out of here! Can you ride a horse?” She didn’t seem capable of speaking, staring at you with wide eyes and mouth agape. She must’ve been in shock. “Just take my hand and we’ll- gah!”

You were cut off by her nearly squeezing the life out of you, hugging you for dear life.

“Papa!!”

It made your heart skip a beat; she was so little…but she was so happy to see you. It took only a moment for your thoughts to gather, and then you were quick to reciprocate.

“It’s all right. I’m here now, and we’re taking you somewhere safe.” She nodded into your shoulder, and the featherlight child was lifted in your arms, taking her onto the pegasus’ back.

You didn’t notice the look that Say’ri had on her face as you lifted away.

After all; the child didn’t acknowledge her as “Mama”…and it was Say’ri who had to hug her, not the other way around.

It did not sit well in her heart.

“Come now, that does not mean she doesn’t love you, Say’ri.”

“But she did not recognize me. She knew you so well, and yet I was but a stranger to our own daughter. And she is so young! Fie, am I not living in Morgan’s future? Before she even had a chance to know me?”

“No, that can’t be. Look at how she fought- she clearly trained with you in the future. It must be her amnesia.”

“We cannot know anything but what we see before us; and I see a daughter who does not recognize her own mother.”

She would have sounded angry to just about anyone else. But you recognized that heartbreak when you heard it; a similar voice had revealed itself when discussing Yen’fay countless times before.

“Hey…” You closed the distance between you, wrapping your arms around your wife and drawing her into your chest. “Morgan is a good girl. And I’m certain she loves you and knows you; she couldn’t have fought like that without your guidance, which is more than enough proof for me. And so what if she has a favorite parent? Every parent has a child they favor more than the other.”

���You lie! I could not love my own children more or less than another. Nor did my own parents.” She snapped at you, appalled at the very suggestion. You just laughed and pecked her forehead, drawing a bashful grunt.

“I jest, of course. I know that if we had a thousand children, you would love them all equally and without question. And I know that they would all feel the same about you, no qestions asked.”

“But…what do we do with Morgan? Isn’t there a way to cure her amnesia? I o not wish for her to continue growing up without remembering herself or her pat…it would be cruel for a child so small…”

“I’ll speak with Libra about it tomorrow morning. I don’t disagree; she’s barely over the age of 13. She’s a child, through and through…and I don’t want her to have to suffer any more than she alreay has.

“Nor do I.” She afreed, finally returning the embrace. “Forgive me. I did not mean to be so irrational. I was just…”

“Jealous?”

“…Never. Such a foolish assumption.” She hissd, swatting your hands away with a far reder face than before. You watche as she stalked away and threw herself below the quilts of the bed roll, fighting to keep your laughter from being heard.

Your wife was really so precious…you doubted she realized how cute she was when she got angry.

“It’s all right, Say’ri. Morgan will get her memory back and she’ll remember just how much she loves you. Until then, I’m sure you will show her all the love she deserves.”

“And more.” She huffed, leaning back into your chest. You smiled to yourself, burying your face in her hair as sleep started to take you both.

There was no doubt in your mind that she’d make good on that promise.

Another battle, another child from the future. So was the pattern over the next few weeks, with Lucina passionately campaigning for the Shepherds to take some time from the war to try and find all the other children that had been brought here from the future. They would all be capable fighters, and invaluable to the army’s cause.

Chrom couldn’t find a reason to say otherwise; though you were sure there was a lot of curiosity piqued when Lucina mentioned she had a younger sister she wished to reunite with.

Cordelia’s thorny daughter was recovered not long after Morgan, followed by Laurent, Nah and the mysterious Gerome. It wasn’t long after you found him and had crossed back into Valm that you discovered another one.

A strange, small child who was fighting with a Levin sword, but handled it much like your wife would.

Say’ri was quickly putting the pieces together (after all; what fool would try and wield an enchanted, jagged blade that was wholly impractical to use with her family’s methods).

It was when the battle ended and the field cleared that the new child made a beeline straight for your family. Specifically, your wary wife.

“Mama!! Thank goodness I found you! And wow, you look so much younger here! The air in this valley must be good for you!!”

The squeal of excitement you heard kind of threw you for a loop. After all, Morgan was standing right next to you, the battle having been just finished.

Neither you nor Say’ri expected the young child that suddenly ran up out of nowhere, immediately throwing his arms around your wife. You and Morgan jumped, ready to pull the stranger off of her, but Say’ri did not seem bothered.

Instead, she seemed surprised, but appeared much calmer than either you or your daughter.

“Uhh…who are you?” Morgan gathered herself first, and the other child pulled back to look at her. Said child who had the exact same hair, eyes and nose as your daughter…and who called Say’ri “Mama”…and was wearing a coat eerily similar to yours.

No, wait- it was…it was your coat?

“Oh, Sister!! I can’t believe you’re here, too! This must be where you all were hiding, huh?” The young one removed himself from Say’ri, closing the gap between himself and Morgan and grasping her hands.

They looked to be the same age, same height, same…everything, save for opposing colors of hair; a shock white versus a dark brown. Say’ri’s eyes snapped to yours, realization dawning on both of you.

“You’re-”

“-Twins.” Say’ri finished your thought, looking incredibly surprised. The boy nodded at her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Of course I am! You didn’t forget about one of your twin children, did you? That’d be a funny prank!” He giggled, but Morgan seemed equally perplexed.

“Oh, um…I-I’m sorry, but I don’t remember having a brother.” She admitted shyly, “I lost my memory when I was sent here…”

“What? Really!” He gasped, “T-that’s okay, because I kinda have the same problem.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Wait, you have amnesia too?” He nodded at your question, stunned by this. “Wow, er…I guess it really runs in the family then, doesn’t it?”

“The family?” He tilted his head, “Are you part of the family too?”

“He is your father.” Say’ri stated simply, unable to take her eyes off of him.

This was her son- and he reminded her so much of Yen’fay; he was clearly trained with the blade just as her daughter was. And he had that limber strength to him that her own brother did.

To think that she would be able to raise two children; siblings, who could grow up and experience life together in a way she and Yen’fay had when they were young.

It made her feel much more determined not to let Morgan suffer the same tragedies that she had when she was young.

Neither her, nor her newfound son.

“My father!!” He exclaimed, eyes blown wide. “W-wow, oh wow! I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you, Papa! I don’t think we ever got to meet in real life. But I remember lots of Mama’s stories about you!”

“The pleasure’s all mine, uh…”

“Linfan!”

Say’ri smiled; that was a family name. You beamed softly, the shock of finding a second child finally giving way to the joy of realization.

“Then, the pleasure’s all mine, Linfan.”

Morgan wrapped her arms around your bicep, observing this new individual who seemed utterly thrilled to reunite with all of them.

You looked down at the little one, recognizing the apprehension in her gaze when Linfan bounced back over to his mother.

“I…I don’t like that I don’t remember my own twin.” She confessed to you quietly, the two of you watching him all but circle his mother like a lost puppy. “Is that even possible?”

“Well, you did forget your mother when you were sent over. I don’t think forgetting your brother would be all that different.”

“I guess, I just…who knew?” She giggled nervously, “Is this what you felt when you and Mama first found me? Like, happy, but confused?”

“I’d say you nailed it,” You grinned at her, tousling her hair. “Don’t worry; we’re happy you’re here, and now that Linfan is joining us, it’ll be all the more joyful. Once we get to know a little more about him, I’m sure we’ll warm up to him.”

And your hypothesis was more than accurate; the boy was just so full of joy.

It wouldn’t take long for Morgan to warm up to her lost brother. She wasn’t able to stay wary of him for long. He was bubbly and warm, just like she was.

A personality trait you weren’t entirely positive where either of them got it from…though Say’ri was certain they got it from you.

Pehaps that's why she so enjoye inne that night; sharing the hearty stew as her two offspring chattere on about this and that, comparing memories and stories they coul recall, and discussing tactics an swoplay like any normal chilren shoul.

You couldn’t help the way your heart skipped a beat, seein ghow fondly she watche her two children interact. She was the picture of prie.

Though it certainly helpe that her son, who held her namesake, seemed attached at her hip and just couln’t get away from his mother’s attention.

She thought you didn’t notice, but it was not difficult to catch when she slipped some pieces of beef into his bowl.

But it was clear as day she was doting on her son. Perhaps it was because he was proof that she was the favorite parent.

Now you each had a child more attached than the other to you.

Of course, you were both incredibly thrilled to have two sweet children, at all. Though you wouldn’t miss an opportunity to tease Say’ri for her showing clear affection to her newfound boy.

“…You speak nonsense.”

“I do not.”

Say’ri scoffed, blowing off your clear attempt to make fun of her behavior following a rather sudden and passionate evening in each other’s arms.

It’d been a while since you’d both been able to have a proper bath, and after everything that happened the past few weeks, it was reasonable you’d be missing one another.

Her head rested on your chest, palm flat over your heartbeat that had finally slowed now that you were both basking in the afterglow of your tryst.

But of course, you just had to be the one to break the peaceful silence with a pointed comment.

“I saw you slipping extra meat into Linfan’s stew. You thought you were being sneaky.”

“Feh. We all saw you doing the same for Morgan, openly and long before I gave him extra.”

“Well, she’s a growing girl.”

“And so too, is he, a growing child! I simply felt they had not given him a large enough portion.”

“You’re right, you’re right. Forgive me.” You chuckled, running your fingers through her hair. She huffed softly, relaxing into your side. “But you have to admit…I think Linfan has a preference towards you moreso than me.”

“I suppose…you are right. I wonder if it is due to his amnesia. Similar to how Morgan behaved with you.”

“It does help me to understand how you were feeling, before. Trying to understand why one of us is forgotten by our own children…it is an unsettling feeling.”

“I wish you did not have to suffer the same uncertainty I did, but I appreciate that you are able to understand it.” She murmured, “I will choose to hope that he only forgets you because of an unfortunate mishap, and not that…you too, were…”

“Yes. Let us believe the former.” You turned to press your lips to her temple, soothing the despair that was clear in her voice.

She had already lost so much. Even the thought of losing you in another time wholly was enough to stir her heart.

She pressed her face against your collarbone, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves.

“There is so much we do not know about the future. I hate to think that anything terrible could have befallen either of our children, or ourselves. When I was younger and would dream of a family, I swore to myself they would be raised in a time of peace. I did not wish for my offspring to suffer the same struggle that Brother and I had to. I…believed that my children would deserve better. But it seems that we failed them…at least, in their future.”

“I know what you mean. But I’m afraid you cannot control a malevolent dragon being summoned and decimating the halidom.”

“Be silent.” She lightly slapped your chest, “Do not speak of such things. You may manifest it into existence, and I know it is the absolute last thing you would want for either of them to go through, again.”

“You’re right, of course. My apologies.” You smiled softly, “It warms my heart, to see how you dote on them so.”

“They are my only son and daughter. It would be of greater concern if I showed anything less.”

“Well…they don’t have to be our only son and daughter, you know.”

“I will strike you again, Robin. And I do not have to hold back if you continue to tease me.”

“Oh, dear. I beg mercy of you, my lady.” You chuckled lightly, squeezing her tight. “You must forgive me- I fear I’m simply elated with the realization that our family’s grown so much. Perhaps my giddyness just hasn’t worn off just yet.”

Say’ri simply huffed again, shifting slightly so that she could relax properly into her husband’s hold. You weren’t completely wrong, after all; she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t caught herself smiling twice more often in the last several hours.

Linfan being her own mini me, even with hair that was the sharpest opposite of her own…it was quite a thrill.

And of course, over the coming days, it only grew more so. The trials and tribulations that would be faced by your family were no joke, and not to be underestimated.

Walhart fought bitterly, and the dragon that would follow with the revelations of the end of days was unmistakably horrific.

But you joined together, and with Morgan and LInfan at your side, you were able to end the destruction of the Fell Dragon once and for all.

You would never be able to forget the grief and terror that was struck across your wife and children’s faces.

The very real fear that they might never see you again had come to fruition. The guilt you felt was insurmountable in that moment. But each of htem wer embraced tightly, tears dripping from each eye…

And a lingering kiss pressed to Say’ri’s grimacing lips sealed the promise of a reunion, before you disappeared into the aether.

Naga was gracious enough to erturn you to Ylisse only a year later.

You were met with a thrilled Exalt and his princess sister, just like all those years ago.

They would help you journey to Say’ri’s homeland, which she had quickly taken charge over and rebuilt. Morgan and Linfan had remained stuck at her side, waiting patiently and hopefully for their father’s swift return.

Seeing you walking up to the front gates beside Chrom sent the children shouting and wailing, sprinting to close the distance and throw their arms around you in a much needed embrace.

You were only able to pull yourself from them when you saw Say’ri standing twenty feet away, staring at you in awe as the wind whipped her hair around like the goddess she was.

You were the one to close the distance, this time; and the moment your hands cupped her face, she dissolved into tears.

It was the first (and only) time the children saw their mother openly sob. Even when you were gone, she did not allow herself to grieve; you had promised you’d return, after all. What could she do but hope?

A much deserved swat at your chest for leaving so long was followed by a kiss, and after that, you had two children tugging you and Say’ri back toyour new home.

Chon’sin welcome you with open arms, but all you wanted was a quiet sddinner with your family. A festival and feast could be helf another night.

But now, all the excitement he could possibly want was sitting at the table, listening to Linfan and Morgan chatter excitedly about all their adventures and experiences while you were gone, catching you up on anything you missed.

Say’ri watched over them as any doting, adoring mother would. Yousecretly noted the meat that she added to your bowl, before she slipped her hand in yours beneath the table.

This was truly heaven.

Spending a year in eternity with Naga was well and good, but…the warmth of your family, the love of your wife and children…there was nothing in the world you could possibly cherish more.

[ben-guy]

Undertale Month Day 6: Home

UT month origins

< Day 5 < ★ Day 6 ★ > Day 7 >

Home? As in the ruins? But, like, before it was destroyed? A time period which only has a couple lines of dialogue to go off of? And now I have to do something with Toriel there? Two days ago, when I said my next three days were going to be Toriel themed, I don't think I actually had an idea for today. I probably just thought "yeah, she lived there!" and assumed inspiration would strike. As of writing this author's note, I'm actually still unsure what to write. -Okay, I asked for some advice and got an idea that I thought could be interesting. Not really my style, and it doesn't really match the tone of Undertale in the slightest imo, but it's written, so I'm posting it. Without further ado, day 6!

Toriel stood next to Asgore on an outcrop of stone overlooking the unfinished city. The engineers had discussed turning the vantage point into a balcony, but this was considered secondary to citizen housing and utilities. Not two months before, monsters had been falling down almost every day. The very will to live had been leaving their souls. Now, with something to put their minds to, spirits were lifting. The people began saying that the gardener king had planted the seed of hope. She looked to her husband. Their marriage had been officiated on the day of the city's founding, a symbol of strength and unity. At the time, bolstering the morale of the people had been the main reason they had decided to go through with that long forgotten fantasy of theirs. His reputation was that of a warrior king... but Toriel knew that this was not a role he fit into with ease. Once upon a time, he had certainly been the sort to boast of great feats, to smile as he sparred with his peers. Simultaneously though, he had been known to comfort children and to fervently speak of charity. War, however, is not gentle, even to princes. It is even less gentle to newly appointed kings. She had watched as Asgore was shaped into a sombre man. As his advisor, she had changed in similar ways. They had both carved pieces of themselves away, the pieces that did not help protect the people. Not that it had saved most of their people in the end. Recently, she had begun wondering if she could ever remember who she was before everything went wrong... if he could be reminded of who he was too. Reminded that his eyes did not need to sweep every room he entered, reminded that the city need not have only one door for the sake of defense, reminded that his trident need not have a razor's edge, reminded that he had once loved gardening and jokes and getting to know every citizen he met, and reminded that he had once loved her. From below, the sound of laughter was heard. Neither of them could remember the last time they had heard that sound. They allowed the seed of hope to find them too.

Next

[maingh0st]

First i wanna say that your writing is beautiful and thank you for your effort for taking time to actually write Taryn as the complex character that she is, while i think not liking taryn it not complete misogynistic since we all have the right to not like a fictional character even if it well written AS LONG AS WE ADMIT THE CHARACTER COMPLEXITY.I always loved taryn and jude dynamic and how you said every character did shitty things,i always was captivated by characters like Taryn in a way, characters who know how to make people like them shortly said characters who had this "wolf in a ship clothing" vibe,and one thing that i never saw people talk was the similarities between Cardan acting like a fool and Taryn way of acting all innocent and sweet.(and i could talk hours how the fandom perception of cardan is as wrong as is with taryn).Now this is something that has been on my mind for a while,What if there was no coup?Well it hard to tell but i always though that jude path will have been way more different than just not being queen.Withoud a coup jude would have continued to be the king spy but being a spy require hiding her abilities so how dain was going to make her part of the court ?well i cant say.Overall between jude and taryn,taryn plan would have been the first to succeed(now if locke would still be himself and get himself killed that another story).Both taryn and jude tried to fit in a world that normally didn't belong to them but guess what living in faerie requires some sacrifices.

thank you so much!! I've had so much fun filling in the gaps for both her & the Ghost. I think I've said it before, but I honestly had fully neutral feelings about Taryn until I started engaging with the tfota fandom and was just kind of... shocked by how people talk about her.

and I absolutely agree! I was responding to an ask saying that a lot of the overblown Taryn-hate seems like misogyny at this point, and I do agree—there's just this weird misogynistic undertone to a lot of the most vitriolic anti-Taryn content in the fandom. but I would never say that every person who dislikes Taryn is a misogynist; that would be wild lol. everyone has character preferences, and some people just don't vibe with the kind of character she is even while they understand her role in the narrative. like you said, though, a lot of people seem unwilling to engage with her as a complex, layered character, and that's where we get into weird double-standard territory.

it's a fun thought exercise to consider what might've happened if there'd been no coup. I'll borrow the Ghost's words when Jude asks if things will be better with Dain as King: "Things will be as they always are. Only more so."

I think Madoc would still be angling for power—after all, he wanted a King who would go to war (and a King he could manipulate). assuming that the existing animosity between Dain and Madoc persisted, I imagine Jude would've eventually found herself in an awkward position between her loyalties to both of them. perhaps she'd be able to hide her spying from Madoc (maybe she'd even become a knight as a cover for her time away), but I'm sure Dain would use her to spy on Madoc, or ask her to go to extremes to prove her loyalty. his geas would've remained a double-edged sword, too (girl really got out of that one too easily—consider an entire lifetime under his thumb?). I'd like to think her good heart would eventually make her unable to continue serving him (Jude's not really an idealist, but she is unwilling to bear with corruption), but it's possible she could just go on a slow downward slide. consider the Ghost, who certainly wasn't proud of poisoning Liriope, yet did it regardless for his service to Dain.

that's not even really to get into the side characters—like I imagine that Cardan, never being put in a position to grow and prove himself, would've spiraled worse (especially if Balekin survived). etc etc. honestly, the books strike me as the best-case scenario. it seems like things would've gotten a lot uglier if the coup (and Cardan's ensuing kingship) hadn't panned out!