#I considered doing one for Gabriel as well but tbh??

[vastiitas]

the gaping ass blank spot on the 'next of kin' for his forms in the case of death tbh,

[httpiastri]

also omg spill the tea on meeting the drivers in spa!!! (only if you want to ofc, ignore this if you don’t 🙏)

aaaaaa okay its time!!!!!! dont grill me if my opinions don't match someone else's, i tried to be as kind as i can 🙏 gonna divide this into categories bcs i met some ppl who are not currently on the f2/f3 grids aaaaa but yeah here we go 🤭

(i saw and was close to pretty much all drivers, but im only including the ones that stood out to me in certain ways here 😊 in order of their racing numbers !!)

f3 !!!

dino beganovic - okayyy soooo. this and paul's will go kinda in the same direction… like i was not surprised to see him act not like super happily lol. i understand! when around fans or just people he doesn't know too well, he was not very excited. but when he was talking to jamie (ollie's... idk what he is? manager ish?), he was that cute happy self he can be! but most of the time, it was the dino we get to see in most prema videos from this year (like the "how well do you know your teammates" one) where he's just…. idk :/ dont blame him tho, im sure he's a great guy once you get to know him!!

gabriele mini - honestly i feel like i barely saw him, except when he and his gf were leaving 😭 welp. but he seemed happy to carry around his trophy!!

arvid lindblad - saw him already on thursday and was shocked both because i couldn't believe my eyes (it's him!! he actually exists!!!!!) and bcs he was much shorter than i had anticipated 😭 sorry arvid

sami meguetounif - i didn't see him around a lot but i saw him on the friday helping his team pack up the tent (carrying big things and such), while all other drivers seemed to not really care (from what i could see)(not just trident, but all teams). respect !!!!!!

tim tramnitz - i knew he was tall but he looked even taller irl!!!! i was so shocked, i felt so tiny

ollie goethe - seemed really happy and lowkey surprised when fans wanted to take pics with him 🥺 had a terrible haircut tho lmao i felt so bad for him... but he seemed so sweet all weekend!!! rlly wish i had talked to him aaaaaa

sebastian montoya - saw him around a lot talking to all kinds of drivers, seems very social butterfly-y :) he seemed very happy after the feature, and he seemed to definitely bring up pepe's mood too because they were talking and joking around for a long time 🥺 his sister (paulina) is also even more gorgeous irl omfg i didn't even think that would be possible…. like we always talk about how amazing she looks in pics but she was so so gorgeous irl (sadly didn't get to see her interact with nikita but 💔 i'll live ig)

luke browning - saw him tons and !! why is he so handsome ?!?!?!! genuinely fell in love all over again. what even. like i keep constantly thinking back to the eye contact we shared and im just. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 seemed sweet with fans too, not super energetic but agreed to pics and such. wish i had shown him my browning bracelet or asked him to sign my sm shirt but i was too shy 💔

christian mansell - saw him get really happy when fans recognized and talked to him, i wanted to show him my mewsell bracelet but didn't have the courage 💔 but sweet and happy as usual!! no surprises there

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

f2 !!!

victor martins - actually dont think i saw him all weekend 😭 idk how i managed that

zak o'sullivan - i saw him a few times, he seemed like a bit down ?? very understandable considering how he had glandular fever ?!?!?!?!!! poor boy :( but god did he look good despite it lmao

ollie bearman - very tall and definitely very popular, always ppl waiting to take pics with him lol! didnt speak to him and wasnt very close to him either but he seemed smiley and happy :) tbh i think i saw jamie more than i saw ollie himself ?? lmao

kimi antonelli - tiny!! and the hair is so so curly!!!! he was actually cuter irl, dont understand how he can do that but yeah. also very popular, and was very happy and kind when fans wanted pics hehe

zane maloney - think this guy had like a magnet attached to me or something because i saw him everywhere all the time 😭 like even when there were no other f2 drivers left, he was there… seemed sweet, his freckles are really cute irl too :)

jak crawford - so so tall!!! and the hair looked even better irl oh my god

juan manuel correa - was a second away from asking him for an autograph but he started talking on the phone at that exact moment 😶 seemed so sweet tho!

gabriel bortoleto - aka bortolotti as the commentators said 😐 saw him chatting with a bunch of different drivers, very much a social butterfly like sebas (or is it just because he's very liked in the paddock? likely both). wanted to go up to him when he was talking to luke (they stood outside their hospitality for a long time just talking) and ask for autographs on my sm tshirt (and to tell them that i loved their appearances on the pod) but was too nervous shdjdhdj

enzo fittipaldi - he had the cutest interaction ever with his gf, i nearly melted at the sight of them 🥺 and big bro was there supporting him all weekend too which was cute lol

paul aron - the driver i think most ppl are gonna read and ignore all other drivers lol. i only saw him on the friday and… well….. i wasnt surprised because i had not expected him to be the most open and excited etc. 🤷‍♀️ like he did agree to take pics and such! he put on a little smile for the fans! but there was nothing extra, which i understand. i think we all know the kind of expression he puts on and how "neutral" he looks at most times? like, when he's not around a close friend etc then he seems a little cold. to me, i feel like it just makes his smiles much more valuable in some way!! he wasnt very smiley even with karl or ralf, ig maybe he was focused on qualifying, but he didnt give anything extra and i dont blame him for that. still owns my heart !!!! <33 and i think that the difference from dino is that he seemed more focused and more ig neutral than cold like dino. paul didnt seem neither happy nor mad etc, just blank. 😌 (but god did he look SO GOOD, his hair was so light and my heart wanted to jump out of my chest istg. he looked so so good that i was too shy to even look too much at him 😭)

is*ck h*djar - pls i dont wanna say what i actually think but. his mom was so sweet 😭 my dad (who, for context, does hobby photography) held his camera aimed to the campos truck door in case pepe would come out, but she came out instead and like apologized and stuff for being in the way? so cute :((

pepe marti - 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 how do i even begin to describe him? when there aren't enough words in the entire world? the most gentle and sweet person ever actually, he seemed so tired and just done with the weekend when i talked to him but he still made time for me and tried to stay optimistic. sweetest boy ever <33333333 (i actually still cant really believe i met him and talked to him. like my brain still short-circuits a bit when i think about it. he was just truly an angel and i miss him so much <//3 i also cried a ton after that lol but he didn't see it so that's okay)(also his hands look even bigger irl 😁 sorry gtg)

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

former drivers/others !!!

fred vesti - like 10 minutes after the gp had finished, i just happened to accidentally run into him? like he was just heading out of the gate i was going into and so i stopped and gasped and just!!!!! and no one around me even looked at him (we were walking around general admission yk, just a big crowd all heading out on the track) which made me really sad but it was so cool to see him irl!!! he was taller than i had expected awww and so pretty

ralf aron - the only sentence that's still swirling around in my head: "is it possible to fall in love at first sight if you're already a fan?"....... because i think i fell in love 🫠🫠 when i tell you he was gorgeous, i mean it on a NEW LEVEL. like im obsessed. i was obsessed before but now im obsessed^2. actually insane. and he has the exact same voice as paul omg i would not be able to tell them apart irl. i love him so much, please help

adrian campos (jr) - sorry for including two team principals but 😭 idk where i get my shyness and social anxiety from because my dad has some kind of talent with people. he talks to everyone and everyone like him ??? anyways so he just randomly went up to the campos team principal and asked about pepe and they had a short but very friendly discussion 😭 and then he even came up to my dad later for new pepe updates lmao so he was a really sweet guy!!!

rene rosin - i didnt speak to him, saw him around a lot tho, but pt 2 of "my dad collecting team principals"…. my dad went to the f3 paddock and came back to tell me that he talked to "some prema dude" about dino's car… the convo went my dad: "is dino's car perfect now?". prema dude: "perfect for what?!". dad: "perfect for winning, of course!". prema dude: "yes, of course!!" and they had laughed and joked around and what not. i thought it was a funny interaction but didnt think more about that. until a while later, my dad pointed at rene and went "there's my friend from before!!" and i just ?!? you asked RENE if dino's car was good????? so yeah thumbs up to rene for being a funny dude 😁

sacha fouquet - sorry for including this but he also looked very good irl 😶 alsoooo like when i was hurrying to the f3 feature (i was running very late and wanted to be there for the start), i had to go under this tunnel to get from the paddock to the grandstands?? like a pretty narrow tunnel, only like 2-3 ppl width... and guess tho were heading to the paddock right when i was rushing away? all of the prema performance/race engineers! lovely timing! because they're all so so cool and made me so so so nervous 😭 (and the way i was just having to pretend like i haven't seen them all in 100 vids and even made gifs of them lmao what)

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

gold star to anyone who made it this far ⭐️ sorry for the random yapping lol and for saying everyone looked better irl but it is true!!!! this isnt proofread so i apologize for any mistakes etc, pls feel free to ask if anyone has any questions... <3<3

[tendebill]

drew the ow strike team as paladins of voltron, because i am normal about them :]

(2 other versions and a fucking essay below the cut!)

ok so im gonna give my reasoning for each of them

Reinhardt - the easierst to pick, the Yellow Lion is the most tank-like (besides the Black Lion, but thats cuz Black is the head + torso), also i think the legs of voltron are supposed to be the "pillars" that allow the team to work well, without them the whole thing crumbles (literally). from what i recall from the actual show, the Yellow Paladin is protective and loyal. Rein was the easiest to match up tbh (plus even the color fits lol)

Torbjörn - not my favourite choice, but tbh i dont think any other lion fits him? besides maybe Yellow, but Rein was too perfect so i couldnt give Torb that one. anyway, the Green Lion is the left hand. i consider the legs to be the "pillars" holding up the team, whereas the arms are the actual damage-dealers/the ones that act on what the leader commands. and as Torb is a dps, that fits just fine. hes not quite a leader, so being the left hand instead of the right is good. plus the Green Lion is inquisitive and curious, and since Torb is a genius, that fits just fine too. i thought he would look weird with green, since i associate him with red-orange-yellow the most, but he looks kinda nice

Ana - i was originally gonna make her blue from the get-go, but i thought it'd be silly to make the remaining three switch lions a bunch, so i can get an excuse to draw Gabe and Jack in multiple suits lmao. but Ana starts out as red, the right hand of Voltron, described as the most temperamental and aggressive. it requires a paladin that can keep up with it and works on instinct most of the time. i feel like Ana would have to BECOME the motherly figure for her team, instead of being one from the start. with that i think she would have been a more "lone wolf" type at first, only later on becoming more mindful of her teammates and how much they need her, which would lead to her becoming the paladin of the Blue Lion - a pillar that keeps the team going along with Rein, a vital part, but no longer in a leadership position. i've seen the Blue Lion described as a "free spirit" too, which i think is also perfect for her :3

Jack - for him i had three options, all of which fit him well: blue, red and black. and instead of picking one, i decided he was going to have three different lions :))) for shits and giggles. so he starts out as blue, a free spirit, very versitile (from what i gathered, the Blue Lion doesn't have a specific "thing" it specilizes in, but instead does a little bit of everything, kinda like Jack). i imagine Jack was the middle-man, an integral part of team-building. he would have been the one to push everyone to work together and follow Gabe's lead, but he was content being on the sidelines most of the time. eventually he takes up more responsibility, sees that he's vital for the team and that he can do more working side by side with Gabe, and so he becomes the paladin of the Red Lion, Gabe's right hand man. then he of course slowly grows to be the actual leader, as Gabe's approach changes and he slowly abandons his original role, passing the command over to Jack. and so Jack's last lion is the Black Lion. also i feel like all three lions fit Jack's color scheme pretty well, so that's another win for me hah

Gabe - since he was the original Strike Commander, i thought it only natural that he would be the first to pilot the Black Lion. the pilot needs to be decisive, stay cool in the face of danger and be someone whose men will follow him into battle with no hesitation - all traits that i see Gabriel would have had to have during the first Omnic Crisis. like i mentioned before, Jack eventually becomes his second in command, and then slowly their roles start to shift. Gabe is no longer content in making decisions for the whole team, he probably also becomes more violent and reckless, relying on Jack to keep him in check. he loses his connection with the Black Lion and becomes the paladin of the Red Lion, Jack's right hand man. the traits of Red fit him well too - aggressive, relies on instinct, temperamental, plus i imagine Gabe is the type to want to get things done as quickly as possible, no matter the risk, to save more people faster. plus, again, the colors match up yaaaay!

fun fact: i never finished watching voltron ^^

also i am truthing anahardt and reaper76 as we speak

[cieloclercs]

𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐞 | 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐫 #𝟏

2h ago | 2 December 2020 by Amelia Marchetti (editor & creator)

IT’S OFFICIAL! Newly rebranded Aston Martin Aramco Cognizant Formula 1 Team have today announced the signing of Formula 2 Champion Noêmia Senna Borges — sound familiar? Yes, the daughter of four-time World Champion Gabriel Carvalho Borges, and niece of the late great Ayrton Senna will be racing in Formula 1 next season. Here’s everything you need to know about this record-breaking contract deal!

(… Sebastian Vettel & Noêmia Senna Borges pair up )

(… Ferrari sign Carlos Sainz from McLaren )

Early this morning, Aston Martin Team Principal Otmar Szafnauer officially announced the signing of Senna Borges as the team’s second driver on a year-long contract, joining Sebastian Vettel in an all-new line up for the rebranded team. Now why exactly is this such a historic moment?

Well, apart from the legacy her last name carries, Senna Borges will also become one of only five women ever to race in Formula 1, and the youngest to do so by a considerable amount — eleven years! Not since 1992, when Giovanna Amati signed for Brabham, have we seen a woman even considered for a first driver position in a Formula 1 team. It’s safe to say, this is a pioneering step towards greater inclusivity in motorsports, brought about by a young driver who has spoken out passionately about the considerable gender divide in Formula 1. Well, if there’s anyone capable of bringing about change in this timeless sport, a Senna and a Borges is as safe a bet as any!

Let us know your thoughts on this historic signing in the comments below!

READ MORE!

Who is Noêmia Senna Borges? The talented legacy set to make waves in the Formula 1 world

Charles Leclerc & Noêmia Senna Borges: The paddock’s favourite friendship turned sour?

74k COMMENTS!

view all…

user1 Omg Charles and Noa reunion when?

user2 Wonder if she’s still bitter about Leclerc stealing her Ferrari seat…

user3 Now THIS is the duo I want to see

user4 Ferrari should’ve signed her when they had the chance!

user5 I don’t get the hype tbh. She’s just another nepo baby 🤷‍♀️

user6 Just another nepo baby? She’s the 2019 F2 Champion ffs 😭

Want to keep updated with all things Formula 1? Make sure to subscribe to the Paddock Pass newsletter for the latest news and gossip directly from the grid!

taglist: @ricciardosheart

author’s note

just a quick sneak peek of what’s to come in the summer 🥰

[unseeliefaerie]

Good omens season 2 spoilers!

I don't usually get meta out of my brain semi-coherently but I'm seeing a lot of people misunderstanding Aziraphale's intentions in those final 15 minutes and I'm here to swing for my boy

I think one thing people might be missing the undercurrent of is the offer to make Crowley an angel again

It's not just an ooh we'd be on the same side, the good guys, and we'd be allowed to be together, though of course that is some of it

Aziraphale thinks he's being offered the chance to grant Crowley, who he knows has been tortured and almost killed by Hell, who risks punishment to disobey Hell's orders when they ask him to be cruel, divine forgiveness

That's kind of a big deal when Falling is the worst thing that can happen to an angel, besides being erased from existence

It's a way to get Crowley out of a job he hates and the persistent threat of torture, give him the freedom to be kind, as Aziraphale really believes he is deep down, underneath the obligations of being a Demon, without worrying about being punished for it

Of course he would want that for Crowley, that's not out of character at all

Aziraphale doesn't even want to go back to Heaven until it's stated that he can take Crowley with him, that Crowley can be an angel again

Crowley can be safe, and free from the trauma/repercussions of Falling, and they can be together forever in a real partnership

Why wouldn't he see it as a perfect solution?

He genuinely doesn't understand why Crowley doesn't want that

He's been given a chance to give Crowley salvation and protection from harm, and it's so shocking and confusing and upsetting that Crowley doesn't want to be saved, such a sting of rejection that he'd choose remaining Fallen on Earth over being an angel again with Aziraphale in Heaven, that in his heartbreak he ends up agreeing to go without Crowley despite Crowley being the only reason he considered it in the first place

Here's where I want to point out that I don't think Aziraphale understands how the Fall actually did change Crowley quite a bit. From Aziraphale's point of view, Crowley as an Angel and Crowley as a Demon are the same person just with different jobs. He's not entirely wrong about that, and given how often he's seen Crowley do the 'right' thing he's got evidence to back it up

But I'm not sure he knows what Crowley was telling Gabriel, that his own memories from before the Fall are hard to access and he did in essence have to start from scratch and build up a whole new sense of self

And besides that, being cast out of Heaven is a horrific abandonment. You don't just get over something like that when they invite you back - and you don't just get over seeing firsthand that they almost destroyed the love of your life without remorse only to turn around and ask him to run the place now (or all the other cruelty you've seen committed on their orders.)

Crowley has learned that kindness is not inherent in Heaven and having once been an angel has nothing to do with what he believes is right, while Aziraphale is still idealistic about good and evil (tbh Aziraphale admitting that Heaven needs to change is already a huge step in the right direction, it just wasn't enough)

From Crowley's pov Aziraphale is choosing an unjust and abusive workplace over the life they already have together, and asking him to change because he's not good enough as he is, even though that's not how Aziraphale means it at all.

I'm sure the Metatron knew that Crowley wouldn't go for it for precisely those reasons, but I don't think he needed to do anything more than make the offer to cause a rift

Tl;dr I vehemently believe Aziraphale wasn't poisoned he's just a well-meaning moron and the true villain here is miscommunication

[princess-of-the-corner]

the villain competency thing was something I was thinking about recently like. at least with Gabriel we have the whole kids vs adults, new generation vs old generation type thing and we didn't know much about him other than he was bad. additionally, since he was Adrien's dad, he had a control over him even without the sentinonsense. he posed a threat on both sides of the fight.

With Chloe and Lila, we were given them as civilians except they've made one so stupid that she's become an illiterate puppet scapegoat and the other can't even lie well without making other actually established smart people stupid enough to fall for it. And yeah they tossed in that bs with her fooling three separate adult women but like, idk i feel like that says more about them being incredibly negligent parents than it does about her cause is she just doing it for fun? what's that got to do with our heroes at this point in time? what's it show besides the fact that rather than making Lila actually great at manipulation you decide to show her manipulation by giving us scenes of something more "horrible" than her lying about knowing celebrities to a bunch of high school kids.

so if they decide to make this dumb blonde and plot armor liar our Big Villains from this point forward, they've got their work cut out for them. Like they're gonna keep retconning shit so it doesn't actually matter but if they cared at all about continuity then they can't make Lila the main lead villain without making her or the miraculous team look useless. If they're going with the callback to whatever scared her at the end of season 5 and have that help her be the main villain then damn she couldn't even do the evil shit herself huh? and if it's mainly just her and the akumas then high chance they'll toss in the heroes and have them be just as dumb as when they were around her at school. but then it'd be "why did Marinette give miraculouses to such pathetic heroes?" in the same vein of "wow the class was stupid enough to believe Lila's shitty lies" and it wouldn't even be their fault, it would be because they keep giving Lila plot armor. at the very least, the fact that Gabriel just kept doing the same thing over and over and kept losing was because that was established before they decided to be more story driven.

Chloe can't be smart. Austruc would absolutely refuse. so then you run into the same problem again except this villain is easy to beat and if you're all going against her at once then you're all the bullies at that point tbh. but also like, 18 vs 1?? gross. And she wouldn't even be a fun villain if she was stupid either. nowhere near Team Rocket levels of amusing cause at least they were their own characters. if they decide to make her a senti, it'll be bad either way cause they're def not gonna add any nuance to that. if they decide to make her good (highly highly highly doubt), it's going to be like those fics where Chloé has to go through so much shit as "punishment" that she's basically going deeper than the rock bottom of being literally abandoned by her dad and being abused by her mom that it's still a salt fic no matter how you spin what side she's on.

it's just like, the worst of characterizations of these characters and you picked every single bad story thread/end of each story arc of the past few seasons and it's a mess i don't have confidence in their writing to fix. but considering the writers' (specifically Austruc tbh) tendency to "we do what we want when we feel like we need to" attitudes to plot (side eyes that tweet about timeline) then highly doubt they'll even touch on old shit cause, as said by a different tweet, the Agreste Family Arc is over. they're def just gonna move on.

Yeah it's a mess

[tonydaddingham]

Wait, what is the "batshit Jim is Jesus" theory, please? Because I have thoughts and I thought I was the only one thinking them

hi hello!!!💕 oh god okay where do i begin

tbh this is largely pure speculation, but something that i can genuinely see happening to the extent of attempting to write a fic about it but to be specific, i think some kind of fuck-up happened in heaven, and an amnesiac jesus has managed to wind his way inside jim, in the place of gabriel.

im gonna try to keep this as tight as possible but bear with me:

it kinda started with the thought that the second coming will have gone wrong in s3. and the subsequent thought that a reason why everyone is left floundering is because they lose jesus. and they might have lost jesus because he's already come to earth. getting biblical with it, both matthew 24:36 and 24:43-44 kinda solidified this for for me - if we accept that GO will continue to play around with scripture.

perhaps a bit of confirmation bias, but the rest of matthew 24 was also interesting, particularly when you consider the signs of the second coming as matthew warns:

24:27: For just as the lightning comes from the east and flashes as far as the west, so will the coming of the Son of Man be.

24:40: At that time there will be two men in the field; one will be taken and one will be left.

24:41: Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one will be left.

and there's then the other apocalyptic elements of war, and famine, trials and tribulations, that are meant to herald the second coming - which is what i think potentially could end up being the backdrop for s3 (ie. the second coming has happened, and it just so happens to coincide with the world going to hell in a hand basket. literally). after all, jim's ep3 monologue was certainly posed as a prophesy of sorts, not a recollection.

then take into account the deleted scene where there was meant to be a prophetic dream(?) sequence of the bookshop being the only thing left standing in an apocalyptic wasteland. idk if it was ever confirmed...(?), but im reasonably certain that that dream would have belonged to jim.

there are also a lot of background elements that indicate that people have started to go missing. whether that's linked or not, idk, but seems interesting... like they've been raptured.

so then my thoughts turned to - well, does that mean, for whatever reason (heavenly user error, escape, god messing around etc), that jesus is now roaming around on earth? or has something gone wrong there too? possibly, bc then i remembered the opening jim scene, and the rest of his appearances in the show.

a lot of jesus imagery. especially imagery of the crucifixion.

the first shot of 2023 coming down from the clouds, and jim descending from heaven in the lift, tomatoes symbolising spilled blood, crowd gathered to watch the spectacle, seeks out sanctuary in the bookshop (eden).

quotes his mother in a tongue-in-cheek manner ("who told you i was naked?"), "but you know Me, you recognise Me" / "i know Someone who looks like You" (re: john 14:9-11), dresses his blanket in a very 'biblical' way, like a robe.

is very eager to help and is very kind, has an affinity for books and stories (themselves possibly representing the tree of life/the concept of immortality), offering out of food for free (ref to feeding the five thousand or the last supper, take your pick!!!), sacrifices himself for the shopkeepers meeting, arms outstretched etc.

im sure there's loads ive missed out, but these are the ones off the top of my head!

there's also the lovely callback to gabriel being the messenger to mary etc. aziraphale, if we accept him to parallel israfil, may be the angel to herald the second coming, but the fact that gabriel inadvertently is kinda the one to deliver it? brilliant

and lastly, because this promo image still has me floored: jim walking on water. and i cant really think of any discernible reason why the water would be included otherwise, other than to allude to jesus:

now that im fairly convinced about the What - as far as i can be with a tinfoil-hat, crackpot theory anyway - but now it's more about trying to figure out the How. these will be piecemeal bits that will join up together, so hang on there:

what seems to be clear is that jesus (if we accept jesus = jim) does not have his memory. he has no idea who he is, and this stays pretty consistent and believable throughout the season. there's a moment ive referenced plenty of times before, but it's so important imo:

(contd) which tells me a couple of things - main thing for me being that not only is memory erasure a canonically confirmed concept, but the suggestion of using the heavenly pda to access gabriel's memory suggests it's somewhat digitised... almost like it's a file that could be deleted or moved. but it potentially seems like that can only happen when someone is in heaven. and is it different for angels vs humans? or - if we accept the idea that jesus = god - a deity?

as for jesus not remembering something - maybe it was an error in the system that made him move into the gabriel real estate? and lose his memory in the process, by some kind of file corruption?

another thing is the issue with power in hell, namely that things seem to be going a bit sideways. the lesser demons are on half rations, and the whole outfit is severely understaffed. ive explored it more here, but it seems that whichever way you look at it, humans may not actually be in heaven. so, if human souls aren't being looked after by angels, where are they? my thought is similar to the above gabriel file thing: that human souls are being stored in the system* somewhere, awaiting 'upload' once heaven has finally defeated hell, and the kingdom hath in fact come.

*this then led me to the thought that maybe the system itself is the book of life, but that's a slight aside/only tangentially relevant.

so perhaps the corrupted jesus' 'file' somehow got uploaded to gabriel when he transferred himself into the fly? and maybe the box has something to do with it? idk.

it would also make sense for the 25-lazarii miracle. there was a lot of emphasis that aziraphale and crowley held hands with jim, and the effort it took to 'hide gabriel' was like a mini-nuke detonating. but a) its an interesting choice to refer to the miracle unit of measurement as a lazarus (and smaller denominations), and b) gabriel was in the fly - but they were holding hands with someone. so, for me, it's sensical that perhaps the issue in s3 is that not only has jesus come early, but they've inadvertently hidden him... an apt mirror to adam in s1. and if jesus is still somehow knocking about in gabriel in s3, it's a good narrative excuse to bring him and beelzebub back.

im going to stop rambling there but i may well come back and add bits - alternatively, if ive missed stuff, feel free to add!!! but! that's where im kinda at with the theory that the second coming has already come, and it's come somehow in the form of gabriel 🥰

[cherubchoirs]

Hi your au slays very hard and is awesome!!! 💖

My favorite among the sib’s is Raphael…… just trying so hard to keep everything together and acting as a mediator between fallen Gabe and half-dead Michael.

I’d like to know if Azrael and Jophiel exist in your universe and if they do, what they would be like?

wauuugh thank you!!! raph is honestly so sweet, i love his role in the group and tbh reconciliation likely wouldn't be possible without him there to carry it through. not only is he like. the SINGULAR guy that knows how to properly communicate and isn't afraid to express his feelings which he facilitates incredibly well in others, but he's also just their little baby brother who they will always feel bad for stressing out lol at the end of the day, he's kind of the ultimate reminder to them that they are a family and there is still love despite the separate pains they've gone through as well as what's made them drift apart so much.

azrael and jophiel would both be pretty interesting in this world imo azrael is particularly neat to consider, and i like the idea that they are a very...elusive presence in heaven. they still exist, somewhere, and are occasionally seen, but they often vanish out of the sight of others. it's always been their way to be removed from much of heaven's activity, but now with their role and insight particularly important, they seem to have found infinite seclusion. they are the angel of death, of course, but now death has become complicated - humanity is gone, life on earth perished, yet people are still dying in hell. and prime souls have been born. azrael must at least know of it, yet they refuse to show their face. gabriel sees them, very briefly, standing in some corner of the council's hall when he finishes his massacre. they know. they see. they witness these souls and gabriel wonders if they will approach him only for a moment - but he knows it's not their way. he's not even sure they have anything to do with the death of angels (or possibly of god, for that matter), but they come regardless. currently, the whereabouts of azrael are actually EXTREMELY important to michael, as he figures they are the one angel in heaven that might offer explanation for his wretched state, but he can't find them either. he calls out to them endlessly, but they refuse to heed his summons. so much so....he's beginning to believe azrael finds something about him noxious.

jophiel is fascinating as well, given her closeness with metatron and michael - i very much like her being the sister of metatron, and suffering a terrible grief after his loss. because metatron was god's shadow, his voice, always stationed just behind his throne, he was lost when god died and tore down much of heaven. she searched for him, but found nothing like she always knew she would with their severing so immediate and brutal. that sadness has dimmed the shining halls of heaven, as jophiel's presence is what grants beauty to the spheres. michael did what he could to give her solace, but he knows his words are hollow since nothing can fill the loss of an angelic sibling. jophiel had never been alone, but now she no longer shares a mind with metatron and so heaven's gold has dulled and its sapphire has darkened. currently, i believe her to be very close with raphael, as he tends the gardens and she finds comfort in what he makes - they are often seen together, raphael working to cheer her and occasionally able to light up heaven with brighter sunbeams when he succeeds. plus she gives him someone to talk to as well, given his own losses of uriel and michael, though they may not be as direct. it helps her feel less alone and like the presence of the angel of beauty still holds some meaning though, as she in turn can spread joy at least through brightening raphael's flowers.

[athamad]

Why do you like Uther Pendragon? Not hating, just curious, he is one of the most hated Arthurian characters because of the rape of Ygerne (Elaine of Carboneck does something similar to Lancelot years later in the legend, and she doesn't recibe so much hate tbh), what is the thing you like about him? I must say one of the first depictions of Uther I watched was "The Mists of Avalon" miniseries, one of the few (probable the only one of the "famous" Arthurian TV shows/movies) that doesn't portray him as a moron/tyrant/insane, so I think my headcanon of him is kinder because of this. (Oh, and the hottest Uther will always be Gabriel Byrne in Excalibur, I said It)

To be honest, it was all just for shits and giggles then it got serious. Uther Pendragon is just another king who is judged by modern standards, like guys, HE IS A KING!!! What do you expect him to think while he was transforming into Ygerne's husband??? "Oh, l hope l don't get consequences for my actions 🥺"???? And he DOES get consequences, hello??? Arthur getting taken away and leaving him with no heir???? I SWEAR, the internet sees one guy do a thing that's considered bad in our time but it wasn't in their time and everyone shits on him. We don't even know if some of the affairs Arthur had were consensual! Lancelot (like you said) does a familiar thing to another woman! ALSO, Mordred forces Guinevere to marry him and is always brutal and assaults people! Yet, l don't see anyone hate him or Lancelot that much??? I don't hate them, just saying, that if you hate one character because of something they did, then hate all the characters who do the same. OH! AND I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT MORGANA DID TO LANCELOT, YET SHE IS DESCRIBED AS A GIRLBOSS???? Uther is a fine character, considering his time's morals and the story's morals, he has a backstory that fits him, his reasoning is fine, and he admits to being lustful and says that he needs to fix it before he's considered sinful. He's my favorite because 1) Go to hell internet, 2) he's a well-written character and just a king who happened to be lustful that one time (I'm trying to read more Arthurian books but my attention span is non-existent so l may have made mistakes)

[night-market-if]

Anon who asked about frosty options for a Milo romancing mc here, back to shout about chapter 12. Damn, that Baron reveal and the way the book ended and the conversations with Mal uuungh. Loved them all. The confrontation with Milo was my favorite bit though, because of how many reactions MC gets to have and how differently it played out for my MCs. Cool, levelheaded Milo romancing MC lost their cool and kind of fell for Milo's distractions/deflections cause even though they should know Milo better than to take the bait, they were too emotional. All rationality going out the window because they were feeling so much and, tbh, that suited them better than the calmer options. (I just love seeing usually collected people let go of their neatly-wrapped-and-labeled emotions and let loose.) Too in love with Milo to be unaffected. Truly a testament to how much he means to them. Honestly, it worked beautifully with the climax you were building up to. (can't wait to see Milo being eaten up by anguish and self-hatred again though lbr that's his natural state of being deep down.)

On the other hand, my Gabriel romancing MC (who I imagine is more socially aware/practised and in tune with their emotions) dealt with Milo in such a calm manner, I loved it. They were able to... Discern and see Milo, to read his mood and little twitches. They took a look at his bullshit and said 'Nah.' (They were a lot less zen during that Gabriel reveal though. 👀)

Overall, stellar chapter and it ends on such a great cliffhanger. I'm so so excited for book 2, you have no idea. And, again, I know there's only so much personality customization we can do (the story needs to be told after all) but I truly appreciate the varied options we've gotten. It makes headcanoning or considering (roleplaying) aspects of MC development so much fun.

Truly, thank you for putting your story out into the world, I've been having great fun and I'm so very excited for the edited version and release and, eventually, book 2. Wishing you all the best and that the kickstarter goes well.

Milo will react to what the predominate mood of the room is. With an angry MC, he can get cocky. He can start goading. He can try to make you hate him.

A levelheaded MC throws him for a loop. He'll try to needle his way in somewhere, look for the chink in the armor, but in the end, he slips up because he lets his fear and emotions he's trying to hide, get the best of him. This is the type of MC that really puts Milo not on even footing.

And a sad MC breaks his heart. He hates seeing someone cry and he hates to see disappointment on their face.

I really do try to give you guys different emotional reactions so you can all take things further in your headcannon of your MC. I do this all within reason of course but I try to get very standard personality tropes you can play with in the game and I don't lock you off from one type of personality just because you've been playing something one way for the entire game. In life, we vary our emotions based on the situation. I've never liked being locked into a shy character just because that's how my MC has been all game. Because people break, sometimes. And they can get mean sometimes. Or they can become so done that they are numb. I never want to take those options from your MC. :)

🪷✨🪷✨ If you want to support me 🪷 ✨🪷✨ 

Demo 🌿 Patreon 🌿 Ko-fi 🌿Discord🌿Kickstarter🌿FAQS

[anormalgirlwithanormallife]

everyone is sharing their s5 finale hot takes rn lol so i guess it's my turn

tbh, i think that @buggachat's recent posts about the finale mirror my thoughts (here and here) and are really really well said. in short, she argues that the decisions made in the s5 finale mesh really well with adrien and marinette's respective character arcs, and that it sets up future seasons to have more conflict and tension.

i wanted to elaborate on a few things that she said. first, i wanna talk about the role of emotion in the viewing experience of miraculous ladybug as a whole, and especially the s5 finale. miraculous has always been a show of building tension and denied catharsis. the entire premise of the show–that these two superhero kids have crushes on each other but their secret identities keep them from being together–is basically designed to be a frustrating experience. but while it's frustrating, it's not necessarily unenjoyable! in fact i think that the frustration is what draws people to it; we keep watching in-part because we want the tension to resolve, but we also watch in-part to see the tension build and build and build. speaking personally, it's an experience that i really enjoy, and i like how s4 and s5 both found ways to progress the narrative and create interesting new dynamics while still maintaining the central tensions of the show.

one of the main points of tension is, obviously, that adrien's dad was the villain all along. as viewers, it becomes very easy to hate gabriel as both a dad and a villain because he sucks in both domains. so of course, the show implicitly posits the questions, "what would happen if adrien finds out that his dad was monarch? what would happen if gabriel finds out that his son was chat noir? (of course we have seen what would happen there in the chat blanc ep) what would happen in the final battle when ladybug and chat noir defeat monarch and see his true identity?"

a lot of people found the writing decisions made in the s5 finale risky and unexpected (myself included!) but in retrospect, it really makes perfect sense when you consider that miraculous ladybug's emotional pull is to tantalize its viewers with catharsis, and then deny them that. i don't think that it's inherently bad or good, but i do think that it is effective at getting people emotionally invested, and it is an experience that i enjoy. but i do think it could lead to some negative or uncomfortable feelings, esp when viewing the finale. i remember watching the end and feeling...kinda bad at first. it left a bad taste in my mouth, watching gabriel being celebrated as a hero when we, the viewers, know him to be an abusive piece of shit. it also felt so uncomfortable and heartbreaking and adrien doesn't know anything!! he's operating under the assumption that his dad was a martyr, and there is something that feels so unjust and wrong about that.

and i think that a big reason for these emotional reactions to the finale was that it denied the viewers catharsis. we thought that we would get a big cathartic reveal moment but the show said, "nope! not happening :)" just like it always does. and that experience can feel really uncomfortable and turn some people off from the show, but it isn't indicative of bad writing. if anything, it's consistent with the way that the show has always operated from an emotional standpoint, and it sets up future seasons to explore interesting dynamics and conflicts.

i’ll make another post about how i think the finale’s decisions ties into the character arcs and the themes later!!

[thatgirlonstage]

Speaking of Good omens, what do you think about the new info regarding Crowley being a high enough rank angel to access Gabriel's trial? I feel like that kinda leans towards the Raphael theory I saw floating around here but I'd love to know what you think!

hhhhhhhh I have very mixed feelings about it tbh bc while the Raphael theory was always a fun sandbox to play in I always considered it JUST a sandbox; through a more serious lens I always found it more narratively and thematically compelling if he truly was just some random demon. I maintain that the original story feels stronger to me if Aziraphale and Crowley could have been any demon and any angel. Yes, there's a seed of this idea that they're already both a little imperfect back in the garden ("if I did the good thing and you did the bad one"), but it's the 6000 years living on Earth that made them who they are. It's the notion that being around humanity and each other made them malleable, capable of and open to change in ways that Heaven and Hell and their assorted hosts aren't.

That said, I do think the hints that Crowley was Someone Important—I've seen Lucifer tossed around as well as Raphael—were a lot more obvious this season and I'm curious to see where Neil is going with it. There's a post from someone else sitting in my queue about how maybe the motivation behind Crowley's certainty that heaven can't change is because he's tried, because he wasn't just some rank and file who happened to speak up with doubts and join the wrong crowd but because he already had the sort of power and position Aziraphale is about to receive and he couldn't fix it then either and so he's just watching Aziraphale make the same mistakes, which, yeesh. I'm also wondering if it might feed into really sharply delineating Angel!Crowley from Demon!Crowley in the sense of like… if Azi wants to offer him everything he used to be, he needs to be shown that Crowley had everything he could possibly want as an angel and still doesn't want it back, because that's not who he is anymore. (....anyone drop a trans metaphor...?) I have typed and retyped like fifteen sentences to continue this but frankly it just gets into analysis of their miscommunication in the final scene which both I and others could and have gone on for paragraphs about. The point is Crowley wanting to be loved as he is right now, and not as he used to be, no matter how cool and powerful a guy that was, is still the important bit.

So I don't know. I guess this is one of those things where adaptations can diverge and be their own thing in fun ways. Book!Crowley is always going to be Just Some Demon who sauntered and stumbled his way into loving humanity and their one good angel in my heart. I'm intrigued to see where Show!Crowley is being taken because it definitely seems like he's being taken somewhere.

[bekkachaos]

*screams about heartstopper*

like literally i dont think any one piece of media has ever made me so joyful! It just just so beautiful. Visually its so pretty, thematically it toes (tows?) the line of realistic and comforting really well (at least for me), the acting is incredible - especially considering the age of the actors, and the constant unapolagetic queerness that is so obvoiusly written by queer people is so refreshing and just .. nice to see. Nick saying 'im bi, actually' so many times was heartwarming and - as someone who is bi themself - it was so nice to see that the only time the usual bi stereotypes were presented was through nicks anxiety (and also ben). I am so scared to see where they take nick's self worth in regards to his 'similarities' to ben bc i don't want to see him sad. I had already read the comics so it was so cool to see how effective this adaptation is continuing to be. the final few scenes of episode 6 have altered me as a human being and are like a visual form of pure nostalgia and comfort. the taylor song in there is so gorgeous. and speaking of songs the entire soundtrack was perfect (like they understand the vibe and the target audience) and had me doing the leo dicaprio pointing meme constantly. I also watched both seasons several times in the last few weeks and probably will rewatch for the rest of my life tbh. I cannot wait for the next season. anyway yea

I 100% agree I just watch this show or read the comics and I am smiling uncontrollably and just feel so warm and comforted and happy it's insane!! It's so beautiful to see something that feels so genuine and it's awkward but sweet and even seeing the changes and growth of all the characters from season 1 to season 2 feels so realistic!

Nick Nelson saying "I'm bi, actually" about seven times in S2 is literally so accurate and I felt so validated by that because it's so real (also as a fellow bisexual) to have to continually justify your sexuality depending on who you're in a relationship with. The queer rep is just wonderful and can I just say that Isaac's journey this season was one of my favourites and the way I screamed when he went back into the library and claimed the ace book at the end 🤌

Anyone who hurts Nick Nelson or makes him feel sad must endure my wrath! I want to put him in my pocket and protect him from all the sad in the world he is so sweet and caring and kind to Charlie, I hate seeing him compare himself to Ben but I love the way they showed that yes the situation was similar but he was so different because he cared about how his coming out made Charlie feel too and they literally talked and communicated, it was fucking beautiful.

And the whole hickey shenanigans from Charlie noticing it (or lbh from when Buck gave it to him) was so funny and realistic and just that episode was perfection (I'm saying this like all episodes weren't 😅)

The Taylor song scene literally did things to my heart, I felt that scene physically, and you are so right the whole soundtrack is perfect! I mean, Taylor aside you have girl in red, Conan Gray, Gabrielle Aplin, wolf Alice, Holly humberstone, Miya folick like so many more I am obsessed with the soundtrack! And have you listened to the "to Nick from Charlie" playlist based on the mixed tape from vol 1? It's literally also a vibe and has Hayley kiyoko (my beloved) and Troye Sivan (I was JUST SAYING that his blue neighbourhood album is so heartstopper coded and wild is one of the tracks 😭)

My life currently consists of:

Drive to work with heartstopper playlist

Return from work and watch reels from the show / rewatch episodes

Read more comic (trying to spread it out so I get more but I am failing)

Constantly think about all of them until I fall asleep

Repeat

I'm just obsessed and it makes me so happy like I can't even explain it, I love it so much 💕🩷💕

[ohifonlyx33]

mixed feelings about deflagration. I'm not usually one to complain about an episode, but I was underwhelmed and even a little irked...

sorry if that bums you out. in fact, you may not want to read this list past #1 (which is objectively funny).

So we all agree we have severe psychological trauma from Gabriel's.... whatever that was?

2. Zoe I tried to give you a chance even after your botched introduction as Chloe's secret sister... but honestly just leave. I hope she does go back to New York. When she was little more than a character model standing next to Chloe, I could be indifferent... I could tolerate her... But the more they focus on her, the less I like her... If I didn't love Adrien and Marinette so much, she might just be awful enough to kill my interest in the show. :(

3. I didn't exactly think Gabriel's plan made perfect sense (why akumatize anyone at all? Just follow them home or something), but liked the general direction of the plot and the raised stakes of almost losing.

4. The way the underground movement kicked in and the teamwork was nice... but they defeated Monarch way too easily. Every other time Gabe gets his hands on even one of the two, it's been game over. Respect to Tikki and Plagg, but you're telling me they couldn't resist in Ephemeral?

5. Genuinely sad when Adrien is sad. :( He missed having Plagg as a friend. Love him as the protective BF and love that he got to take the Ladybug earrings from his father. :)

6. Adrienette is still so cute, but honestly... Marinette has a problem. Wait. Listen. I'm not one to say she's never allowed to be cringey and neurotic. Cringe is part of her character and I love her for it and despite it. Heck, I consider myself cringe in various ways.. So I'm not here to blame her for being awkward or clumsy or whatever else... I can even forgive her statue scene... But this is a whole different ballgame. She's acting downright terrified of Adrien (I get there is some trauma there, but TBH Chat Blanc was way worse or at least equally as bad, and she managed that fear way better... she even let herself fall for Chat Noir, take his hand, and kiss him on the lips despite the trauma of Chat Blanc... I just don't totally understand the inconsistency). And okay, it's fine if she's nervous around him and awkward and not ready to hold hands or say ILY... but then don't keep forcing yourself to do those things. It just looks way worse when you try to force it, and can't. Like, girl... I know you want to hold his hand, but if you feel yourself freezing up... just don't force yourself. If it freaks you out so much just apologize and say you're not ready. Tell him you didn't wash your hands or something ridiculous. Just... Read your body signals. That's all.

7. Not enough Ladynoir fallout. Not enough questioning what happened there. Seriously? Hoping this is addressed more later... but not likely.

8. Alya and Nino was sweet and they handled that well 🥰

[drowninginblox]

Bite

Cole Cassidy x Hanzo Shimada

Those mfs are dragging me back by the fucking ankles y’all-

TW: childhood being contextualized w/ age,nudity(ew), and a passing mention of general addiction (not even tbh)

Have fun ^^

——- —- ——- —-

——- —- ——- —-

“Genji.. how dose that one song go?” Cass asked over the breeze. Spring at the safe house was just like he remembered it to be. Peaceful, idealistic even. But the anxiety always lingered whenever he came here. There’s always someone looking for them. Yesterday it was Gabriel. Today it was Reaper. But that’s neither here nor there. Nothing the pack of “terrorists” could do now. All they can do is lay low until the monkey checked in.

But… fuck. He knew heading so close to Deadlock territory was risky. Especially after his last encounter with Ashe. And with the knowledge of Bob getting upgraded. Fuck- he should’ve- “What? What song?” Cass blinked for a moment before sighing. He’s thinking about this too much. All they can do now is just.. wait for this to blow over till they can come back better. Or, as much as he hated the thought, find an opening to retreat.“Ykno- the one Hanzo sings while he works ‘n cooks…” The group of six were taking this snag pretty well- all things considered. Pharah and Mercy were organizing everything they had on hand while keeping in touch with the coverage of Overwatch’s current stunt on Route 66. Bridgette meanwhile was keeping herself sharp. Painfully so in all honesty…

Same with Hanzo, but he’s learned to give himself breaks since reuniting with Genji and, albeit painfully, accepts himself. “Through the small things, I reclaim myself.” Cole noted Hanzo’s rationalization in one of the many outings to the on hand range. It’s became their thing in the recent months, since Hanzo’s started opening up. Although imperfect and a little too idealistic for Hanzo, Genji claims that in the worst moments while he was discovering himself- a montra similar to that got him through the worst of times.

And lookin at Hanzo, it was so far so good. He was taking it to heart from the looks of it. Small acts of kindness from making food for the team to cleaning up to just.. listening to others rather than forcing them or himself away. Openness was a good look on him. That’s probably why Cole wanted to learn, what he assumed, was Hanzo’s favorite song. “Ooohhh you mean Bite, right? By Troy Sivon?”

Cole sighs but nods. “If that’s it, how dose it go?” The younger Shamada turned to look at the westerner. For once in a long time he shown his face. The multitude of scars were faint but barely visible unless you were actively looking. But other than that, he looked like an slightly above average man. Good looking for sure, eyes half lidded with the serenity of the current situation, lips perched as he pondered what the Cowboy’s angle was this time. Usually Jesse only talked to Hanzo whenever he needed to or was bored. He’s tried lots of things to entertain himself that just so happened to have Hanzo in the vicinity. But, for some reason, this felt different.

Genji cracked a sly smile, swallowing whatever doubts he had and breathed some new life in a song older than him. “Kiss me on the mouth and set me free… sing me like a choir..” in the gaps between the lyrics the memory of a melody comes back in patter patters against old, wood floors. Slow and graceful motions hidden behind shoji screens, hidden only by night. However, the dancers are caught in flickering candles while the creaking of floorboards reveals their audience: one gathered by the wonderment only children could have at a song that wasn’t sewn in tradition or played through instruments deemed worthy of being interested in. No. This was a time before the importance or legacy. One of innocence. Love even.

“I could be the subject of your dreams, your sickening desires…”

A time where a husband and wife could relish in their love, confident in the fact that their family is safe from whatever the outside world has to offer. At least- that was what Genji viewed the moment as. He didn’t notice the lady was a good decade younger than his father or that only one of her hands was on his father’s shoulder.

“Don’t you wanna see a man upclose.. a pheonix in the fire.”

Genji didn’t know the true intentions of the song until much later. Little before he realized just how sick and twisted his family was, and just what he and Hanzo were to do with it when they were to come of age. Processing that was hard for a teenager. The party’s and addiction was just a way to cope with that pressure. That’s the answer Genji hopes was true for him after all these years.“So… kiss me out the mouth and set me free…”

“But please.. don’t bite.” Cole finished, making Genji look away from the safe house and back to his friend. “Genji, you okay?” For a moment Genji looked around, as if trying to remember where he was before clicking everything back together. His checks were wet. There was a lump in his throat. And he wasn’t alone. “Jesse, don’t sing that song to Hanzo okay?” Cassidy looked over the cyborg as he wiped his eyes of whatever tears remained. “Honestly, he probably doesn’t realize he’s singing it.” Cole kept his eyes on Genji for a few moments before settling “Its Cole now, remember? Or Cass. Jesse is only for the field.” He says, clasping his hand on Genji’s shoulder. “Right. Sorry Cole.”

“Don’t worry about it par’ner.” Genji chuckled as the draw grew too thick. Cole knew that about him too well. Thick accents were fucking hilarious to him. “Yeah, yeah,” he said, shrugging off Cole’s hand with a smile. “You know me too well Cole.” Jesse chuckled. “Damn right I do. You’re my best friend Genj.” Genji glances with a small smile. “Really? If I’m your best friend then why haven’t you told me you had a crush on my brother?”

[astrophyta]

Reading rambles?

so uh I’ve been among other things catching up on a very long to-read list of fiction that’s sitting in my apartment cluttering my space up and I do kinda want to just talk about some of the reads to the void instead of on a platform like goodreads so that’s what this tag will be for, I suppose? my reading speed is pretty slow so these won’t be frequent

Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver

This book has a pretty bad rep for being preachy about climate change amongst a lot of reviews I’ve seen, but tbh with the exception of maybe one scene I read last night where Ovid has an Ecology Professor Meltdown in front of a newsreporter who felt more like a caricature the second time around than in her first appearance, I have to say I disagree, and the aforementioned scene is probably my biggest gripe with the book so far (with less than 40 pages to go, though).

A lot of people do not like Dellarobia either. She is emotionally cheating on her husband for the majority of the work, the novel opening with her attempt to flee her family life to go be with some younger guy she doesn’t seem to know very well. No one has to like a character, even when their flaws are addressed and fleshed out and the author makes no excuses for them, but for me Dellarobia’s response to her lot in life makes perfect sense even if it isn’t pretty or likable. She was smart and curious enough to have gone to college, something unheard of in her small hometown, but she got knocked up by her now-husband and failed her ACT. Her parents are both dead and had very little money to their name despite her mother (iirc) running a successful business of making and mending clothes in town. Her husband’s family are farmers. Until meeting Dr. Byron, she is a stay-at-home mom pinching and scraping pennies to feed her family and literally keep the lights on. It is due to an ecological disaster that she is given her first job, one that pays more than what her husband makes - serving as a lab technician for a make-shift research group operating out of her family’s barn, the best spot in town to be close to an unusual phenomenon of a monarch butterfly migration wintering in tennessee when they would normally be in mexico.

Dellarobia loves her children. she tries her best to love her husband. she plays wife, daughter-in-law, and mother as best as she can, but she knows her life is also the result of a mistake she made as a teenager and that it might not have been so hard if she hadn’t made that mistake. you can come to love another person despite these truths, but this is not enough to surmount the chasm between her and Cub. so, her eye wanders, and she indulges in her delusions of these feelings being reciprocated, not because she truly knows these men well enough to love them but because it is a distraction from the disappointment she feels from her own life. it’s not pretty, it’s unlikable, but I find Kingsolver’s portrayal of Dellarobia to be very honest, and I appreciate when authors are not too afraid to write women like her.

I also feel like there’s so many ways that you can write about Dellarobia that this brief summary feels so grossly inadequate to convey all of the different roles and expectations she deals with in her community and from outside of it. Kingsolver handles these tensions beautifully. She is a celebrated and accomplished author who I had honestly never heard of before picking up this book from a neighborhood little library box while on a pandemic walk three years ago. I consider it serendipitous.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

Now this book is highly acclaimed, and despite a rough start for me initially, I consider myself no exception to the hype. It is well-deserved.

I’m reading this as an audiobook and still have about half the book to go, so it’s not yet time to write at-length about it, but Zevin already accomplishes so much in the first half that I’m on my toes thinking about how long she will keep us with Sadie, Marks, and Sam. Also, I am convinced that it is not possible to read this book and not get an itch to delve into game development yourself. I’ve seen a couple of tutorials for creating very very simple games with python on freecodecamp’s youtube channel, and I was interested in those before even touching this book but now I’m like…is it too late for me? Maybe I’ll make a game too when I’m 60 and retired.

Misc. other reads

I started a third genshin account for a lore post I wanted to make (my zhongli sq 2 screenshots are lacking, also just need an interactive refresher) and so I’ve been passing the time grinding by listening to audiobooks. I listened to Broadband: the Untold Story of the Women Who Made the Internet by Claire L. Evans, which was wonderful and illuminating. I also listened to Life in Code: A Personal History by my programming idol Ellen Ullman. She has the most compelling argument against AI and machines as analogous to the biological (and vice-versa) that I’ve seen, of course illustrated through a history of her domestic companion Sadie, her cat. I was making my way through Artificial Intelligence by Melanie Mitchell, but the book lends itself better to reading a physical copy rather than passively listening while playing a video game. It utilizes a lot of diagrams to illustrate its points, and it expects you to view these diagrams as supplemental pdf’s delivered with the book as you listen to it. Nope, not for me. But I was thoroughly enjoying it before deciding to put it on-hold.