#I cant listen to come What May without crying now

[cloud-makers-make-pollution]

just spent around 10 minutes crying over the probably illegal recording of moulin rouge I just watched

damn the ending is sad

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Detective!Jun-ho as Yandere/Obsess with you |

Warnings: OOC - Mixed Jun-ho with Midnight K-drama Personality - Stalking - Manipulation - Violence - Blood - Abuse of power - NSFW  -

He is quiet sadistic and takes pleasure when arresting criminals. Has been acussed of using brutal force but thanks to his connections never something came out of it.

His hates stalkers and creeps. And its with a case like it that he comes to know you. Turns out your ex-partner could not take a "no" and now was not only waiting for you outside work but also Stalking your social media and leaving hate comments.

He hates to say this but he cant do a thing unless the creep does something first. He can see your face fall at it. And he knows lots of cases like this one ends with the stalked being hurt.

He is not suprised to see you two days later at the station, crying because your ex just sent a intimate video of the two of you to your work and that made you unployeed. Now he can work with that and actually go after the fucker.

There is just one problem. Its that he cant stop watching the video. He likes it, well likes you. Likes the way you moan and cry, the way your body moves. He wishes it was him making you feel that way.

Once he meets your ex with the warrant order he almost loses it because of the smug face they have.

Did he always think on killing a person ? Well yes, this is not a first and he did get help to manage these thoughts. However no meditation or workout can help him by now.

He passes some days thinking about you, checking your social media to see how you are doing. He tells himself its just to make sure you are safe. Like any other victim.

Then why does he ends outside your home ? At night ? Looking at your window at how you prepare dinner, or how you seem to be looking for a new job. Do you like candles? What smell ? He has seen you light up some.

It becomes a routine that he hates and loves. He hates himself for this. Becoming the exact thing he did swear to fight against but he also loves it. There is something catching, on looking at you without you knowing it. Its like he gets to see a movie, in this case you are the star of it.

He is used to stay long hours awake, its easy for him to watch you all night till morning comes. And dear, you should get better curtains he can see the form of your body when you change clothes and drives him wild.

Since you got fired from your last job he casually sends mails using a burning account to your mail with different Jobs that he thinks may fit you.

Gets a hold on your most personal details. If you have no criminal record he will think you are an angel. Will investigate your family and Friends to see if any of them can cause you problems.

"Casually" finds you on the streets and since you think he is just a good person you are happy to see him.

Invites you for a coffee since he wants to hear everything from you. Maybe he already knows how your week as been but your voice its like music to him.

He records the conversation to listen to it later.

Offers to walk you home or towards your next stop and if you say yes then he turns into a puppy. Literally follows you (walks besides you) and has the most dumb smile ever.

If you say no, then he fakes that he is alright with it but follows you anyway.

If you start to see someone then he becomes more possessive.

Uses the fact that your ex its still out on the streets and fakes being him. Breaks into your home to leave you "love" notes. Sends you gifts and calls you using a burning phone number.

And since all points to your ex, Jun-ho its safe. He keeps doing this since he feels like he can express himself and also you just happen to be scared again and start to pass over the station to ask if there is something they can do.

"Im sorry (Y/N), only if he does direct damage to you we can take action"

"He broke into my house!! Sends me disgusting gifts, what more do you fuckers need?" You pretty much scream at him.

"I understand your pain and im sorry you are going throw this. About the incident at your home...we have no evidence that it was him. And...do you find the gifts digusting?"

Yes he got hurt by that comment and ends pulling more efforts into what you like. Its not that he is getting your likes bad, but the fact that he cant see to understand how much privacy he is breaking.

Oh, when he did break into your home he also left cameras there. He watchs you when he has time and knows your work hours by memory now.

If he sees you taking a Man back to your place he becomes furious and may break the phone.

That same men its later arrested for something he did not do but its only to cause him trouble.

In fact, anyone who gets close to you or tries to get romantically involved starts to suffer.

You soon are know by being cursed.

Jun-ho admits he is not proud, and it breaks his heart when he sees you crying alone. How he wishes to be there and comfort you.

He only acts when he knows you are insolated and also...when your ex decides to make a new move.

This time he is violent, Jun-ho luckly was passing by and stopped him and also used this chance to arrest him and even uses some force on him.

He wants you to see that he can protect you.

A trial against your ex may start and Jun-ho will use it to now go to your home almost everyday, to make sure you are safe and doing well.

Slowly gets in your head and heart by commenting small things about you and since you are so emotional tired you dont notice how he seems to know things you two never shared.

You two are not even close.

The day Jun-ho gets your phone number (not like he did not have it) he is the happiest man. Stares down at your contact pic for hours while thinking in he should message you or not.

He also starts to act like a boyfriend ti at least make you see how good he could be. Could care less if any other person gives him attention, he only wants yours.

If your ex ends free and does not go to prision then Jun-ho would personally kill him or at least leave him so damaged that the Man would never think of going near you again.

"Yes is mine, you better stay away"

Does this means he is out of your life? No. Jun-ho now acts like a friend, picks you at work, its polite with your Friends and even appears at your aparment when your family its visiting.

By accident of course.

He installs himself in your life in a way you cant see. Soon Friends and family are asking what you two are, leading to you asking the same.

Its a slow process till you decide to try and give him a chance. And Jun-ho its over the moon.

He does everytning right. And makes you depend on him. Tells you horrible details of different cases so you end scared and feel like only he can protect you. He can be quiet brutal sometimes and sadistic, finding some type of joy on seeing you scared. He knows how to read body language at perfection so when you start to tremble or cant Express your words he is almost smiling.

And he loves how you hug him and thank him for being there with you. For putting up with such a complex situation from your ex to the people that told Jun-ho you were "cursed" and bad things would happen to him if he dated you.

They dont know it was all because of him.

NSFW:

Since he has cameras at your home, if you happen to be giving you self pleasure he uses that to jerk himself off.

Remember how he saw that video at first? Well after the first time you two have sex he records it without you knowing it and keeps it on a special pendrive for himself.

Has lots of photos of you. Normal ones and intimated ones. Its his personal altar for you.

He is a bit sadistic and that goes to sex. He does not like to inflict pain on you but making you cry ? And overstimulating you ? Yes. He does that and if you tell him that it hurts it only makes him go harder on you.

[last-starfighter]

plural playlist? plural playlist

ive been makin a playlist thats all "songs that make me think about bein plural/have plural vibes/are about trauma and systems/whatever" for a hot second. im not 100% happy with it but yknow i think we all need a distraction rn so.

have like 3 hours of ✨songs to split yr personality to✨ /s

if u vibe with this u can reblog it. this aint just for did systems or endo systems or trauma systems or whatever its for anyone who wants it.

content warnings: self-destructive vibes/suicidal ideation, drugs/alcohol, unreality, amnesia, bad choices, bad headmate relationships, breakups, fuckin kpop for some reason

tracklist + explanations under the cut

hive mind - tmbg i think this one speaks for itself

birdhouse in yr soul- tmbg listen this one has fucked up headmate to host vibes tell me im wrong. im yr only friend/im not actually yr friend/make a place in yr soul for me.

voices in my head- naked eyes pure goddamn 80s cheese but the lyrics are on point

simple and clean- utada hikaru raise yr hand if yr a sora fictive, have a sora fictive in yr system, or were personally victimized by the end of kingdom hearts 2. yeah thought so.

my truth's a lie- psylosia i think this ones supposed to be about schizophrenia but tbh it works.

where is my mind? - the pixies ik its a cliche but you cant really have a crazy playlist without it.

paranoid android- radiohead again. ik its a cliche but here we are. it fuckin works. like half of radioheads back catalog does

blow up your mind- the cramps ok i know this is mostly here cause i wanted more punk shit but it works for how i feel about this shit? idk

my own worst enemy - lit tfw you have that One Guy who keeps makin the WORST DECISIONS (its me im the guy)

the becoming- nine inch nails the me that you know/he doesnt come round much/that part of me/isnt here anymore. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO FUCKIN SAY.

i'm not there - sonic youth ok this is mostly there for the title and for the good distorted guitar but fuck me i like noise rock

never let me down again- depeche mode ik what this song is rly about but. sometimes you just gotta let the other guy take the wheel.

carousel - tempting fate thx @eklesia-system for this one- it has THE VIBES

disintegration - the cure and now that you know that im breakin to pieces/ill put out my heart and ill feed it to anyone/crying for sympathy crocodiles cry/for the love of the crowd and the three cheers for everyone

otherside- red hot chili peppers this ones for all the fictives out there who want to blow up their lives.

bodies (ghosts) - 1000 eyes can you believe we aint never played signalis? it has the vibes tho.

myth- delerium thx @endogenesis-evangelion for this one. its on fuckin point.

voices in my head- steve aoki/bassjackers/teddy bee can you tell part of this was just searchin spotify for 'voices in my head' lol. i think it has the vibes but ymmv

my favorite stranger - depeche mode can you tell host really fuckin likes depeche mode. lmao. ht to @the-masked-bandits-system for this one tho

voices inside my head- the police again do i really need to say anything

the passenger- siouxie and the banshees this is for all of us who sit and watch while other people do shit

the projectionist- thoushaltnot another @endogenesis-evangelion banger. thx forte

disconnection notice - sonic youth the narrator may not be plural but hes profoundly alienated from everyone and everything and thats close enough /meme

clones (we're all) - smashing pumpkins can you believe that there aint anything from siamese dream that fits on here. that title is ~pluralcore~ af. but nooooo

personality crisis - new york dolls is this a new guy or am i going crazy??? who knows???

imaginary friends - splitsville i hate the 'i' word as much as the next headmate but the song is good so.

who do you want to be - oingo boingo listen i know this is about 80s tv pop culture but like. ~source separation~ vibes. who do you wanna be today?

am i awake - they might be giants ik ik ik ik. tmbg is lemon demon for 80s/90s kids. but this has the dissociative vibes

voices in my head - falling in reverse what can i say about this one other than that its got the content warnings and its catchy.

birthright - celldweller thx @eklesia-system for this one - i think i got a new fave band from yr recs cause this fucks

lucretia my reflection - sisters of mercy lucretia / my reflection / dance the ghost with me

personal jesus- depeche mode feelin unknown n yr all alone/flesh and bone by the telephone/lift up the reciever ill make u a believer

voices in my head - vicetone + chelsea collins anxiety, wanting yr fuckass headmate to fuckin shut the fuck up

voices in my head - dj univxrsel another one from the spotify mines

imaginary friends - deadmau5 we needed more good fuckin crunchy edm on here. im tryin to get more into edm so if u got recs hmu. also fuck the title but this slaps

voices in my head (they said) - jack harris instead, instead of panicking again/ i'm making friends with the voices in my head

mad world - tears for fears i know this songs kind of a meme but the lyrics man. if you got hte trauma and u dont listen to tears for fears yr missin out on a band that gets it

whistling in the dark - they might be giants theres only one thing that i know how to do well/and ive often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well/and thats be you/be what yr like/be like yrself

over my head - lit overwhelm is a v system feel for us ig? ok ill own it this is mostly here to lift up the mood at the end.

imaginary friend (english version) - itzy ok this song is the whole reason this playlist exists. hosts partner is real into kpop and was listenin to this and we started laughin about how big the system mood is with this one and how"LYRICS GUY YR EXPERIENCES ARENT UNIVERSAL." it made me wanna see how many songs i could find about the system experience tho. i dont like kpop. at all. but this one speaks 2 me.

@endogenesis-evangelion @lizardywizard @furyfuzz @eklesia-system @thegmsys @the-masked-bandits-system all either wanted to see this playlist or recced songs to put on it. i didnt get to everyones songs so if u want urs on here- well ill see if i can cram it in somewhere lol

[ecofear]

what is the pain?

oh i have like a tooth thing. i dont know what it is

i saw a dentist at 3 weeks of pain (i wasnt allowed to go before cuz it was over the holidays and i would ruin the holidays with it) and they did x rays and didnt find anything and did the tooth tapping thing and it didnt hurt . so they gave me a week of antibiotics but it did not help

its like an extremely sharp pulse of pain the kind u cant just ignore its got me fucking grabbing my teeth and my gums for dear life . when it first happened i screamed and started to cry ive never felt anything like it before . and im disabled with chronic pain ! its . kind of crazy

sometimes my teeth.. pulse.. it doesnt hurt but its like shocking? i flinch? i can handle that. i hate it but i can handle that. its the fucking pain. and the pain leaves me so sore its like someone punched me. and it hurts in my cheekbone.

it started with my crown but now other teeth hurt more and idk. im going dentist again on monday but its a 10 minute checkup appointment just to see if the antibiotics helped. i will ofc say no. we will see? maybe i need like a root canal or a proper crown? my crowns like a cap instead of one of the real fuckers? i think maybe i got like. a bad infection thats spreading and antibiotics can't reach it? like pulp.. infection, i think its called? idk man i just know ive never felt anything like it before

ive been 1 side of the mouth eating but it doesnt always help. some foods are awkward so im also limited due to the limits of what im allowed to purchase and have in the house and stuff. liquids are hard because i cant let the liquid go near those teeth and its a whole row thats causing issue now, and the like motion of sucking hurts a lot too? so i have to drink gently, but also not let the liquid escape into my mouth i gotta swallow it asap. so its kinda awkward? and i cut open my gum the other day cuz the side of my mouth i'm eating on now had the back molar i think its spelt removed last year so i cant chew as well and ended up cutting my gum open where that tooth was trying to chew something i think was too hard for me now i knowww but now eating at all is sore but . sore is better than the pain.

IDK IM LIKE TURNING THIS INTO A RANT IVE PURPOSEFULLY NOT TALKED ABOUT THIS CUZ I HATE WHINING ABOUT REAL SHIT I HATE BEING REAL WITH PEOPLE i really fucking do this is why i complain about shit that doesnt matter its like an outlet for all my frustrations with real issues like this one without having to be honest. but man its been so long now im just. maybe i am tired and i need a lil pity? a little bit of sympathy? it hurts man. it really hurts. and i.

i did get back on nhs dentist. FINALLY. they wouldnt let me until i threatened to stop coming. so all my work last year cost full price (ended up being 1000 pounds in dentist fees i am. still feeling. more than i want to admit) so its gonna be cheaper. but it s still gonna cost. and root canals and crowns arent cheap. even on nhs. and im so scared bro. even if i like. even if they figure it out and find the issue , and the unknown of it all is terrifying me, what if i cant afford it ? what if they book it and im too anxious to stop them and then i have even more debt? oh god now im tearing up. ANYWAY

THATS MY PAIN THANKS FOR LISTENING i may delete this later but im gonna post it force myself to cuz. i do wanna vent. and maybe i want someone to feel bad for me. cuz i feel so fucking lonely bro. ANYWAYYYYYYYYY

[roseworth]

hi lauren 😌 ok if dc were to ever make the elusive jason and rose outlaws team, who would you choose as the third member

hiiiiii im sorry this took a few days to get to i put a lot of thought into it <///3

so first of all. my #1 dream outlaws team is jason rose connor kara lorena. im not even exaggerating when i say i have thought about this team (whose dynamics i mostly made up) at least once a day for MONTHS. i know some of those characters being on a team together doesnt make sense but you just have to trust me. it all makes sense in my rich inner world. and someday i may get into it but i have a lot to say

but if im abiding by outlaws tradition of a trio. i have multiple options of who besides jay & rose.

eddie: obvious answer. hes been friends with both of them so its very common to put him in outlaws. HOWEVER.... i dont really see him as an outlaw. im including him in this list because i like the idea of the three of them together but i dont think he would really fit on an outlaws team. hes kinda just a normal hero and i dont think he would be super into the whole idea of killing people the way jason and rose do

kyle: i just think that the dynamic of jason rose & kyle would be SO funny. disasters. rose with kyle is "he was nice to me like 8 years ago so hes my best friend forever" while jason and kyle. you know. are the most annoying people ever. plus kyles views on killing are sorta "i dont do it unless i really want to but i think its cool" so he would tolerate them

steph: this would be so much fun. mwsl gave me minor crumbs of a jason rose & steph team up and i havent been the same since. steph can be a little bit murderous as a treat and jason & rose are enablers. idk i just think being an outlaw could be good for her

roy: HEAR ME OUT. SHUT UP AND HEAR ME OUT. i could fix rhato roy. my thought is roy post-cry for justice where hes mourning his daughters death and pushing everyone else away. and jason & rose go "quit your job join our emo band" and he becomes an outlaw bc he wants to be Angsty and Away From Heroes but jason & rose are like "sweet we have a responsible adult now 👍" and. roy cannot be around people younger than him without accidentally becoming an older brother figure. also roy & rose make me go crazy so im doing this for ME

eddie fyers: this popped into my head as i talked about eddie bloomberg earlier and i cant stop thinking about it. can you fucking imagine

artemis: yeah yeah she was already an outlaw. but what if she was again in a cooler more homosexual way. jason & artemis had a good dynamic sometimes in rhato 2016 when lobdell wasnt being weird, and rose & artemis would be so much fun given that rose loves to pick fights and artemis would be able to pick her up and throw her. to me it would be good and i want these two to interact

grace choi: okay listen. i just really liked her in outsiders 2003. as a treat to me i think she should be worse. canon toxic dyke getting worse because of a non canon toxic dyke and her boytoy freak

dana harlow: DANA COME BACK. she was the best ever for the two (2) issues shes been in. and rose & dana would be soooooo good and i need it so bad

but ideal jason & rose dynamic is this↓ so maybe its better for everyone if they have a red hood & ravager team up. hand in unlovable hand.

[quodekash]

this episode may take longer to watch than any episode previously has

flirting at its finest

holy frick I am definitely way more attached to these two than I strictly should be

he just gave his boyfriend a curfew for playing soccer. I love them so much

dshgsdgshdhghfsdgfhagewhsdgfhad

AAAAAASDHSDASHGFAHSFGASHFGAHSGF

IVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS SCENE FOR SO LONG THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY

KANG ATTACKING HIS BOYFRIEND IN KISSESSSS ERHBDGSHKRB

kaaang

you doofus schmoofus

hes probably fine tho, time blindness, we've seen it happen before (the first time they studied together), so he'll show up, he just got carried away

side note: why doesnt sailom have a phone case

WAIT HANG ON

the last time this happened (sailom giving kang a time for him to come study with him, and kang being over an hour and a half late to that time), it was the first time they'd had a tutoring session. what if this is foreshadowing, and it's about to be the last time they have a tutoring session?? everything's right about to go down, I can feel it. just let me enjoy the fluffiness of everything for a while before we have to suffer in the angst

he DOES want to study, but he struggles with time blindness and hyper focus and he lost track of time and didnt notice but im SURE he rushed home the MINUTE he realised what time it was

sailom, those are your brother's words, not yours

you're only thinking that because your brother implanted it into your mind, and it was a simple explanation that you took because you were worried and scared for him. just listen to kang and let him explain himself

noooo this is like the scene with pimfah in episode 6

SEE?????? LISTEN TO YOUR BOYFRIEND NEXT TIME DOOFUS AND COMMUNICATE BETTER

its fine, its okay, this is a learning experience, a lesson for them, they will grow from this both as a couple and as individuals, its okay, they'll work it out

IMNOTGONNACRYIMNOTGONNACRYIMNOTGONNACRYIMNOTGONNACRY

OH WHO AM I KIDDING, IM SOBBING

oh yeah, see that eye contact there? thats the eye contact of "im probably going to shoot you or be involved in you getting shot, perhaps intentionally perhaps not, while I rob your house because I am poor and I hate the rich"

whaht

ohhh yeah the sprained ankle

lets all just take a moment to appreciate how pretty papang is

thank you that is all

THEY ARE FRIENDS

THEY ARE FRIENDSSSSSS

AAAAAA

they're sitting next to each otherrrrrrr

GOEURLDJSBGVRE

THIS ENTIRE SCENE IS JUST SO PERFECT

1. sailom apologised for getting angry

2. kang apologised for coming home late

3. sailom made sure kang knows that his debts are HIS problem, not kang's

4. sailom is motivating kang to pursue his dreams

5. 'because I have my wind, this windmill can spin' I MEAN COME ON

IM TRYING TO NOT AUDIBLY SOB BUT I LOVE THEM TOO MUCH THEYRE SO CUTE

HE SAID THE LINE BUT WITHOUT THE SAME FLASHBACK OVER AND OVER AGAIN LIKE TWELVE TIMES IN THE ONE EPISODE

this fluff is too much for my gay little heart to handle

luckily its all gonna crash and burn soon tho :)

YESSSS

I love the studying-while-exercising-oishi-drink-breaks

I ALSO LOVE THIS TROPE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

cmon guys just kiss

you got so close last episode

OML

I CANT

THATS SO FUNNY

IVE SEEN SOME GAY-ASS OISHI COMMERCIALS BUT THIS MIGHT JUST BE THE BEST ONE

screaming crying throwing up they're so disgusting (and pls keep it coming I love it)

not that I doubted it before, but respectthepetty is definitely right about that praise kink, no one alive can deny it now

he loves toying with him so much, and I love watching it

T H E P O U T

...you know, I really wish Tumblr allowed more than 30 images per post.

[shytastemakerthing]

Hi! How are you doing? If its okay I would like Twst and romance please on match up. Make sure not to over work yourself and take plenty of breaks! Thank you!

Lets see, my health is pretty bad. So I have to rest often. Its okay, it gives me time to play video games and watch videos. Though there are days where I am too weak and just sleep.

History is my passion, well military history. I love studing military history. Sadly I tend to scare people off when I speak of historic battles. I wasn't even going into gorey details either. So I learned to keep it shut.

Dark humor, I have it. I warn new friends that I have it. It slips out when I'm sick and when I have my guard down. My guard is usually up so try not to let any jokes slip.

Final bit would be, I am a mother hen. I cant relax if someone is out. I will scold them if they are out too late. Once everyone is safe, I can relax.

I hope this wasnt too much! Thank you! Have a good day!

A/N: Thank you so much for your request, Anon! I hope that you are well and are staying hydrated! I also hope that you enjoy your matchup!

I match you with.......

Lilia Vanrouge

🦇 Okay, this fae was a literal war General and was in the Briar Valley military for YEARS. Needless to say, he has plenty of stories about battles that he has seen and been in, and he will not ne sparing any details, as he sees you are quite interested in them.

🦇 He loves that you love history as much as you do. As someone who has been around for an insane amount of time (do we even know how old he actually is??), and has seen things that one can only dream of, he is the perfect person to talk to you about this passion. After all, he was THERE.

🦇 Look at this fae and tell me he doesn't have some twisted sense of humor? You two cibe rather well on this spectrum. You may work to keep yourself under control around other people but he just let's it all go full throttle. What's life without some morbid laughs?

🦇 It's Canon that this fae plays video games. This means you bith play together all of the time. He has a set up just for you in his room and there has been more than knew occasion that Silver has has to remind the both of you to sleep. Do fae really sleep that much, anyways? I have no clue.

🦇 For the sake of tour already bad health, DO NOT LET HIM COOK FOR YOU. I can not stress that enough! Your health is bad enough without his cooking threatening to turn you into a hashtag and being locked away in a forever box. You have been saved by multiple Diasomnia members throughout your relationship.

🦇 By being with Lilia, this also means you're a mom now. He and Silver come as a package deal, no 'if', 'and', or 'but', about it. But seeing as you already have a motherly personality, meaning you vibe really well with Silver as well, everyone is happy

🦇 By extension, you also get Malleus. Sebek is still up in the air (he has no choice but to respect you, you're dating Lilia for crying out loud)

🦇 On the days where you are just too weak and spend the day sleeping, he is sure to do regular checkups on you. Most of the time, he will just carry you off to his room where you can sleep peacefully and comfortably. (He has experience with doing this to Silver on more than one occassion)

🦇 Overall, he loves being able to take care of you on your bad days (again, do NOT let him cook for you), listen to the dark humor that you are able to come in with, and then sharing stories about battles he has been in or listening to you ramble on about whatever historical events and battles you had read on yourself. He loves you for who you are and he would have it no other way.

[truebiue]

the record being essentially an album full of love songs about friendships

I first listened to the album at a listening party and the whole time i was very emotional just thinking about their friendship - when i left the listening party i texted one of my friends “it feels like a bunch of love letters that they wrote for each other”. ever since i haven’t been able to not view The Record with a different mindset. This post is just me trying to put together all the lyrics I thought were the most linked and related to friendship and love. - I am a very big sucker for songs that are about friendships.

We’re In Love:

“you could absolutely break my heart, / that’s how i know that we’re in love”

“so put down the knife we’re not swapping blood”

“You listened like it mattered”

“Sing the song you wrote about me, never once checking the words” - this part which is a nod to the way each member has written songs about one another in their solo work.

“if you rewrite your life may i still play a part?”

Leonard Cohen:

The entirety of this song being about the road trip

“ ‘if you love me you will listen to this song’ ”

“didn’t tell you you were driving the wrong way / on the interstate until the song was done”

“but it gave us more time to embarrass ourselves / tellin’ stories we wouldn’t tell anyone else”

Cool about it: - although this song to me personally feels more like a failed love there’s one line that can be used for a multitude of different relationships.

“once i took your medication to know what it’s like / now i have to act like i can’t read your mind” - to me personally this feels like they’re making an effort to understand each other, going through this trouble to take someone’s ‘medication’ to be able to understand their emotions and feelings and when they do they have to pretend they don’t in some ways.

Without You Without Them:

“Talk to me / Until the words run dry / We’ll see eye to eye”

“I want you to hear my story and be a part of it” - very clearly indicating to that line in ‘We’re In Love’

Revolution 0 :

“If it isn’t love, then what the fuck is it?”

True Blue:

“And it feels good to be known so well”

“I cant hide from you like i hide from myself”

“I remember who i am when I’m with you”

Not Strong Enough:

“drag racing through the canyon / singing boys don’t cry” - in an interview when they talked about going on a road trip

“skip the exit to our old street and go home”

Satanist:

“will you be a satanist with me?”

“will you be an anarchist with me?”

“will you be a nihilist with me?”

Letter to an Old Poet:

“i wanna be happy im ready” - they’ve talked in interviews about helping each other and they’re clearly the happiest ever when they are together.

These are just some of the lyrics i could come up with, there are definitely so many more that i have missed out on.

[ariswolfram]

Unraveling the Mind

Life had been a blur for months now. Or had it been years?

I don't know.

Everything feels meaningless. Its all just repetitive. Its all the same.

Im not strong enough to handle those big jobs where you work on buildings or go into the army. I cant handle customer service otherwise ill get yelled at. I cant handle anything. I cant handle anything.

Im spiraling, i can feel my spirit untangling, i feel like im losing track of myself.

My head is full of shadows, and I've lost my way home...

Lost... lost...

Lost... lost lost lost lost lost...

... where am i?

... i don't remember this street, does that say republic?

I don't live near republic, i live near latigo... how did i end up this far from home, it wasnt meant to be this long of a walk...

Theres a building up ahead anyways, looks like church... wonderful, i walked here as a natural reaction to being sad...........

I make my way inside, tears numbly falling down my cheeks without any resistance. I don't even try to hide it.

I sit on a bench near the back rows and press my head into my arms.

The priest is talking about some stuff and things, though i am not in the right headspace to pay attention... why did i even come here to begin with?

... oh right, i lost my way home.

... lost my way to a home i cant even pay the taxes for.

Lovely.

Its all coming back again.

For a moment there, i thought my stress was gone but no, its not.

Fucking hell, im a mess. No one likes a mess.

I sit up and lean my head back far enough to see everything upside down, looking at the seats behind me.

I notice a set of beautiful green gems, and stare at them. Its almost captivating, their color. Their glisten.

They look like emeralds, polished into perfect spheres with thin strips of black in them to make it look like some draconic eyes.

They blink.

... they are eyes.

The man clears his throat, i flip around and look at him properly. This man is fucking tall holy shit-

Must be 10 or 11 feet at best. A fucking mountain-

I remain quiet and keep staring, not exactly knowing what to do. He has pretty scales though, i will say that. A shimmering black, with some parts having streaks and lines of silver. Some of these lines join up at the joints and claws, making it look like veins of some sort.

"Uh.... hello?"

His voice sends shivers down my spine, it was... expectedly deep. I look back up at his eyes before i accidentally look any further down his form, "Im sorry... i didn't realize you were there..."

"... you were uh... staring at me for... a while-..."

"I was-? I hadn't realized..." i smile weakly. Its hard to hide my emotions at the moment-

He looks at me. A mix of pity and... something else shown on his face, i cant quite pinpoint the other emotion, "Poor thing.... why were you crying, if i may ask?"

"Oh uh... its just........ stress." Dont trauma dump to a stranger. No one wants to hear that.

"I see... okay..."

He speaks again after a moments pause, though im not exactly paying attention to it. Ive got more important things in front of me...

He repeats himself. I should probably listen...

...

"Sir?"

"Sorry what?"

"I was asking your name-"

"Oh- right- uh- im uh- Heilbov-" I shake myself awake and look away from the eternal prison that is that beast of a man's eyes.

"... im Namill..."

The beast is called Namill. Thats not leaving my mind anytime soon, wonderful! I LOVE THIS AHHAAHA HELP ME DEAR GOD WHY-

"Nice to- meet you-" NO, "... Uh..." I just met this guy, please don't say anything stupid... i dont want to say something and scare him off, he seems like a good friend.

"Is... something the matter...?" He looks suspicious. Quick, say something to calm the situation!

"Uhm... would you mind if i sit next to you?" WHAT THE FUCK, THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO SAY!

"Oh... yea i... dont mind..." He shuffles to the side and pats the cushion next to him, "Here..."

... I wasn't expecting that to actually fucking work, holy shit-

Though this man has no interest in me at all. It's obvious he is just feeling sorry for me.

Either way, he is nice...

I realize i was staring in stunned silence again, so i get up and sit next to him.

He is so fucking huge... what does he eat to maintain all of that? A whole ass cow? Maybe other dragons— no that's cannibalism. He isn't a cannibal... im saying that so confidently as if i know him personally. Hah, fun.

I cant pay attention to a single word anyone is saying either, nothing is coming across.

I try my best, but its just not sticking.

I look up at Namill, he keeps speaking to me, i just nod and say “yea”, which seems to please him as he keeps talking. His voice is nice

Is the room hot? Why is the room hot?

This man wont stop talking either oh my god, what is he even saying??

"—and so Optimus Prime is naturally a pacifist. That doesn't make sense given the fact he is the leader of some warriors and stuff, but he actively tries to avoid fighting when its not necessary. Though this doesn't mean he is afraid of fighting, no no no—"

When did we get on the topic of optimus prime? And why is the room so hot oh my god! Im practically burning up...

But man am i tired as well... and he is still talking.

Honestly though, that is the only thing keeping me from losing my shit right now. Thats not odd to say right? His voice is grounding me i guess?

...

Yea... its fine...

...

...

...

...

I sit up. I dozed for a second there.

Im not about to fall asleep next to this hulk of a man. No way.

I close my eyes and lean to the side, feeling a pillow

... I think i may take a moment and rest on it though, that wont hurt anyone... i wonder who donated them... whoever did is nice...

... despite my best efforts, i fall asleep.

***

I had been talking about the transformers for a while here, i almost forgot where we were up until the moment something pressed against my arm.

I pause for a moment and look... it is Heilbov, passed out. Resting against my arm...

... what-

Am i just stuck here now? Is this like those cat rules, where when a cat has laid down on your lap you are stuck in that position forever until they move?

... i don't have forever. And im pretty sure its not cat rules either. This man is light as fuck, and im pretty sure he will remain asleep even if i leave.

But wait, thats a problem. I cant leave him here... i mean, no one will steal from him in the presence of god, but people may do other things... i dont even know where he lives anyways. What am i supposed to do, bring him home?

... home is a mess. I only got my bed...

... i have the couch as well, i can set that up for him. Just for a night, yes... i just don't want to leave an unconscious male man person man out in the wild where conscious people can just snatch him.

I carefully pick him up, then stand. As expected, he remains asleep.

I begin to make my way back home. It was getting dark anyways.

The way he was looking at me earlier said everything as well. Poor dude is exhausted... i bet he didnt even understand a thing i said. I shouldn't be speaking that much to anyone i just met anyways, its rude. He probably thought it was annoying.

I'll apologize when he wakes up...

This feels like kidnapping... am i kidnapping him??

... no, kidnapping insinuates the imprisonment of someone. Im not trapping him in my home, im just letting him rest there.

But what if he thinks its weird? I dont want to make him uncomfortable...

... says the person literally cradling him in his arms. What the fuck?

I walk up my steps and open the door. All of the piles of magazines, action figures, and other things line the place. Some of the things are very slightly out of order, hence the massive mess (Namill's home is perfectly clean and tidy. He thinks its a mess due to the fact its slightly unorganized).

I lay Heilbov down on the couch, and find a large blanket to rest over him.

I put a pillow behind his head, and turn off the lights.

... what the fuck am i doing?

I swear this is some cliché love story shit...

... is Millenium fucking with me? Amarei? This is her fault. How dare you.

I swore i hear a giggle just now... a very quiet one at that... she heard me...

... i make my way to my bed and crawl in... hopefully i wake up before he does. Don't want to make him uncomfortable....

... he already will be... fuck.

[iamnotcoolaboutit]

no need to be worrying about me, i always come back to my little tumblr life! can't say i've ever deleted it though ahaha . . .

i am giggling a little bit at the fact that they knew without you having to say anything but im happy that it worked out and that it wasn't as stressful as you'd imagined!

also if you don't mind me asking, what are you getting your results for? and why is the wait so intense?

have a terrific day!

love, questions girl!

yeah it turned out one of them thought i was like 16 and i think one of the others came to that conclusion too so it was just a matter of telling one of them but i won’t lie and say i didn’t try and avoid it because i was scared 😭

also, i’m from scotland so i was waiting to get my national 5 results for the first exams ive ever done, that i did in april and may and i got all A’s apart from one B which im confused about because ive been getting all A’s this year ?? and was predicted an A too but im going to try and appeal for it

one problem though is that my mums been irritating me all day like, she kept telling me to clean stuff while i was waiting for the post as if i was in the right headspace to do anything properly, or, i wanted to open my results on my own first but she just forced herself into my room and was there the whole time stressing me out more than i already was. and then when i explained that everytime she said something like ‘one B and all A’s is still amazing!’ or, ‘wow i cant believe you did so well’ just makes me feel worse, she kept saying stuff like that. then at the dinner table my dad asked what my best friend got and my mum started saying ‘i can’t believe..’ and i accidentally just shouted at her to shut up because I couldn’t believe she was going to badmouth my friend and say my friend didn’t deserve the grades she got. i apologised multiple times but i think all the anger from today and why other day caught up to me and now IM the one crying in my room feeling bad for MY boundaries being pushed and toyed with just because my parents wouldn’t listen to me

sorry i didn’t mean to brain dump so much in one post 😭😭

hope your day was a little less intense than mine!!

[mercury-72]

Chapter two: The boat

Jay

“But its not fair mommy!” I hear Ellie yell at my mom as I make my way out of the bathroom, shaking a towel around my hair to attempt to dry it faster.

I refuse to use a hair dryer those things make your hair super puffy and it makes me look like I have an afro. Fastest way to learn to not let your mom do your hair for homecoming freshman year of high school.

 I toss the towel on my bed giving up for now before grabbing my shirt, pulling it over my head as I make my way into our kitchen where all the noise is coming from.

“Ellie we already talked about this.” Moms stern voice says, I turn the corner to see her pointing at Ellie whose standing up on a stool

“What’s going on?” I make my way over to the stool next to Ellie who seems to cool down once I sit next to her.

 “Oh thank god your finally done Ellies been refusing to eat breakfast without you.” I laugh reaching over to ruffle Ellies hair. She’s finally sat down, looking down at a bowl of coco puffs that are no doubt way to soggy to be edible.

“Where you giving mom a hard time again?” I reach for her old bowl of cereal and go to dump it out, replacing it with a fresh bowl of cereal before pouring a bowl of the same thing for myself.

“Yes and she knows better, I still cant believe she listens to you more then me and your father.” Mom rolls her eyes annoyed but still relieved. She takes her mug of coffee and makes her way out to our living room pulling her phone out as she does. She’s probably going to call dad.

“So what’s so unfair?” I elbow Ellie as I shovel a spoon full of coco puffs into my mouth.

 I look over at Ellie who’s got tears welling up in her eyes and her lips doing the little pouty thing she does when she’s trying not to cry. She hates crying because according to her big girls don’t cry. “Its not fair, I want to go with you”

Oh this again. I see a tear roll down her cheek, as I finish off my cereal. I turn to see if my moms still on the phone, she’s not in the living room anymore so she’s probably gone to their bedroom to talk.

I turn on the stool towards Ellie tilting my head and open my arms to her, she pushes her half eaten bowl away and wipes her cheek before crawling over to me. She sits and buries her head into my chest, tiny fists grabbing my shirt as she cries. I let her get it out of her system, pressing my cheek to the top of her head rubbing circles on her back. This is the fourth time she’s has a full blown crying session since I told her I would be leaving for two weeks.

To say the least, she’s not very happy about it.

 She goes to move her head away, brushing her cheeks again before looking up at me. I look down at her giving her a sad smile, already knowing what she’s going to say.

“Cant I come with you?” Her voice wavers as she asks me the same question she’s asked me a million times within the last week.

“you know if I could take you I would.” I brush the hair out of her face, she looks down like she might cry again. I try to think of something quick because if mom sees her crying again she might actually get mad this time.

Ellie has basically been my shadow since she was born, getting more attached to me then either of our parents. And as much as our parents love our little connection if that’s what you want to call it, they’ve gotten tired of Ellie throwing tantrums almost everyday because I’m leaving and cant take her with me.

 Its not like I’m leaving forever or anything its only two weeks ill be gone. I think she’s just gotten used to my college schedule. I choose a school close enough to home so I can come visit often or they could just come to me.

This may be the longest she’s been away from me so she’s not handling it very well. “I know.” She says, moving to grab her bowl of unfinished cereal and continues to eat it solemnly.

I tilt her chin up to look at me again because I cant leave knowing shell be a wreck and an absolute menace for mom and dad. “Just think if I actually work there then you can come with me all the time after this trip” She immediately brightens, almost spilling her cereal but thankfully she catches it. For a six year old she’s quick.

“Really!” And just like that she’s back to her cheery self, flipped emotions on a dime.

“Yep, and while I’m gone ill facetime you all the time that way you can still see me ok?” Ill just have to tell mom and dad about that part, otherwise they might be confused on why Ellie wants to use their phones twenty-four seven.

 Ellie nods her head vigorously, I laugh thankful I know I've calmed her down and maybe she wont be that much of a wreck while I’m gone. She places her now empty bowl on the kitchen island and hops down off my lap with my help and runs to her room to get changed. I head to my rooms to double check all the things I need are packed, before grabbing shoes.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thankfully Ellie didn’t really cry that much when they saw me off at the airport. This internship is bound to be interesting no doubt and Mr.sato is amazing.

Well obviously he’s amazing but I’m giving him bonus points since he’s paying for all the interns flights. Though there’s only six of us so I doubt he’s breaking the bank much by giving us a hand with transport. We have a flight to costa Rica and then from there we have to board a boat that will take the rest us the rest of the way to the island.

 Now I’m not really sure why there’s a need for two separate ways of transport. Maybe the islands flight lanes or whatever those things are called aren’t finished being built. I do know that much about the island at least. Well not about the whole aircraft thing landing thing, I mean the whole island is still under construction.

 Maybe the boat ride is just meant to be part of the experience, he may be trying to just make sure we have a good time. I read in a interview with Mr.sato that he loves kids even though he doesn’t have any of his own.

I guess that’s good for me and the rest of the interns though. Maybe he’ll spoil us like he would his own kids. Wouldn’t that be cool.

I got off my plane about 20 minutes ago and have been in the backseat of a cab daydreaming this whole time that I didn’t even notice I’m almost at the docks.

Mr.sato put a lot of thought into this whole thing. I mean there was somebody already waiting for me after I got off my flight, a cab waiting for me outside.

Its not really a cab I guess, I shouldn’t call it that. It’s the person who was waiting for me when I got off the plane, in a black button up shirt, wearing a black hat both with matching emblems. Mr.sato’s emblem that was on the acceptance letter I got as well. I’m assuming the rest of the interns are or already have had the same experience as me right now.

The car comes to a stop at a dock and the lady who drove me here turns to me with a smile on her face. She sends me a wink before saying “Were here buddy”

I’m pretty positive she’s older then me but then again I cant completely tell. If she is older then me it cant be by much maybe she’s in her twenties.

 Clearing my throat before I talk, its been super awkward since I got off the plane, she’s the same one who meet me as I got off and helped me with my bags and everything. Obviously she works for Mr.sato but I guess that’s not gonna keep her from trying to flirt.

I thank her as I get out of the car grabbing my bags as she pulls the car up to three identical looking ones. She gets out and heads for the boat walking, well at that rate she’s speed walking her way onto it.

I don’t think she’s very happy that I didn’t flirt back. Man now ive upset two girls within the last what 24 no its probably been 48 hours by now.

I sigh but cheer up as soon as I take a good look at the boat, well its more of a ferry from the looks of it. Its got blue swashes all over it and in the middle of the ferry facing me is the big emblem again. I smile again, I’m way to excited about this, but how can you really be certain how excited someone should be about this.

 I’m imagining the excitement of a kid In a candy store or Ellie getting the thing she really wanted for Christmas.

 Finally making my way to the ferry after gawking at it for god knows how long I see a girl up ahead of me standing on the wooden part of the docks leading right up to the ramp. From the looks of it she’s death gripping her suit case, if she grips that thing any harder she might break the handle.

I make my way over to her, my own suit case trailing behind me. I hear her mummer something about horrible transportation and I can only assume she’s talking about the ferry. “You know some people actually enjoy boat rides.” I say standing next to her looking directly at the fairy.

She jumps making a surprised sound and drops the death grip on her suit case bringing both of her hands up to her chest. I finally turn to look at her and suck in a breath, a little shocked.

Damn I wasn’t expecting someone like her to be interning with me. Though I’m not really sure what I was expecting the rest of the interns to be like.

She’s way prettier then the lady who was trying to flirt with me in the car. Now if this girl was flirting with me instead I probably would have lost my shit.

I realize ive been staring at her but how can you not, look at her. She’s got long straight black hair that goes down to probably her mid back with bangs and these gorgeous blue eyes. Ive never seen anything so bright? They are such a bright blue and dang her eye lashes are long. I almost feel jealous.

I get way to nervous way to fast and can feel all the blood rush to my cheeks and I hope she doesn’t notice it. Instead I realize I haven’t introduced myself at all, ive just made a weird statement and stared at her and now she probably thinks I’m a creep.

“Oh I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to sneak up on you or anything you where just kinda standing here and looked nervous or scared and I just got here so I thought I would at least try and talk to another intern, at least I think your intern, anyway my names Jay Seaver”

Oh my god way to go Jay, way to play it cool. I stick my hand out to her in greeting and she kinda just stares at me for a moment. I almost don’t feel so bad for staring at her if it means shell look at me like that every time in return.

 I go to put my hand down thinking ‘who shakes hands anymore’ when I feel her hand in mine, doing a gentle shake. Never mind. She does.

“Its ok, um I just got here a couple minutes ago too and I am nervous but its nice to meet you Jay I’m Ellery Mitchell I’m an intern as well as you are” I don’t think I can handle this, my brain is in over load. I don’t really react this way with girls, the last time I acted so…smitten? Is that even the right term?

The las time I was this taken by a girl was when I meet Emma stone who I thought was actually Gwen Stacy. I had a huge crush on her and watched only the mazing spider man for like a whole year.

Focus Jay your in the middle of a conversation here.

 She said she is nervous, she was death gripping her suit case so yeah nervous. What’s she nervous about? Water? The ferry? 

“Well hey if your nervous about getting on the boat we can board together” Oh thank god I had a coherent thought and didn’t say something stupid or ramble again.

“Really, that’s so nice thank you” She smiles at me and nods her head looking a tiny bit less nervous.

 “Yea of course cant leave a pretty girl all by herself you know” I just told her I think she’s pretty, this cannot get any worse. Though I think she’s blushing. Yes, she’s definitely smiling at least. Ok at least I haven’t messed up or anything. “Thank you” She says it so quietly I almost miss it.

God I cant stop smiling, this is going to be a great two weeks.

Without even noticing ive grabbed both mine and her suitcase and made my way over towards the ramp leading up onto the ferry. I turn to make sure she’s actually following me up and I didn’t just leave her behind. And yep she’s right behind me.

We make our way up the ramp and finally set foot on the ferry, it rocks a little against the waves coming up to the shore from out in the ocean. Based on that we’ll probably need to set off soon.

The Ferry sways a little again and I feel a hand press against my back, I look back to see Ellery, one hand brought up to her month where she’s chewing on her finger nail and the other hand is up against my back.

 I really want to turn and grab her hand but I don’t, I wouldn’t want to make her uncomfortable, plus we barely know each other. It does boost my ego though that she used me for stabilization.

 I move our stuff inside the ferry where there is thankfully air conditioning. It may be winter break and cold in most places but costa Rica is still pretty warm, and humid. So the air conditioning is nice. I hear Ellery sigh in relief and her shoulders finally drop and she finally seems more relaxed.

The ferry is very luxurious, I don’t feel like I belong but looking around at the people besides the staff it seems like we were the last interns to board. And man none of us look like we belong here. Its all white and pristine and smells like coconuts in here. The majority of this main floor is filled with seating but off to my left there’s a stair case leading to the higher deck. On the wall to the right of the stair case looks to be a bar. At least that’s what it seems like, it’s a curved counter with stools fixed to the ferry. No ones sitting over there so I decide to take advantage of the free seating and move me and Ellery’s suitcases over there.

She follows right behind me as I shove our suitcases against the wall of the counter and hop up onto one of the stools. Ellery follows suit. Climbing up into the stool next to mine. I’m glad she’s decided to stick with me instead of moving off to sit with someone else or alone.

I spin in the stool to face the rest of the main floor, its very open and I cant imagine what this thing will look like once the island is finally open for business. This thing is going to be packed with people. But for now its just workers moving about probably getting ready to set off and four other interns I’m assuming scattered around.

Scattered isn’t a right word for our rage tag group. You’ve got me and Ellery sat at the counter closest to the front of the ferry. Two girls sat at a circle table for two a little further away giggling and then two other guys, one who is literally the embodiment of a surfer dude out on the front deck and another dude with extremely dark curly hair sat on his phone on a love seat.

A great start to things really.

There’s some noises outside of the ferry as I see a couple men removing the ramp and closing off the ferry from the docks. Then other people rushing around, followed by the sound of heels clicking. Then from the stair case a women in a nice green business suit and white high heels comes down. A bright smile on her face as she looks at the six of us before moving to look at the clipboard she’s holding. Gosh I feel like I’m back in high school.

She clears her throat to get the others attention and once everyone is inside and looking at her she smiles once again. “Well hello to all of you, how was the plane ride for you guys hopefully it wasn’t to bad and you at least got to sleep” She says.

“Man I wish I was stuck next to this lady and her baby who cried for almost the entire ride” The kid with the curly hair says, leaning forward. “Oh gosh I’m so sorry that must have been such a pain, if you’d like you can nap on the ferry ride to the island”

“Thanks but I’m not gonna miss a thing even if I’m just staring at ocean for a couple hours.” We all chuckle as the lady once again looks at her clipboard then back to us. “Ok I totally forgot Hello guys my name is Ms. Jessica and I’m Mr.sato’s assistant, I just need to double check that you are all here before we leave” We all nod our heads in understanding and she nods to herself then looks at the clipboard then points to the curly headed kid. “You are Michael Danvers.” The curly headed kid, Michael, nods his head giving her two thumbs up.

 Marking something on her board she then points to one of the girls sitting at the circle table “You are Madylyn Carter” One of the girls at the table, one with crazy ginger colored hair looks up “Yes ma’am” another tick on the board. “Kelly Tate” Ms. Jessica points to the girl sitting across from the red head, the other girl is BLONDE. Like really blonde, I think at that point its called platinum blonde.

 The guy who was standing outside is next, Ms. Jessica points at him “Your Jake Smith I know that one for sure” She doesn’t exactly say it like it’s a good thing she already knows who he is.

But Ms. Jessica is already smiling once again as she lowers her clip board a little gesturing to me and Ellery. “That means you are Jay Seaver and Ellery Mitchell” Me and Ellery nod and Ms. Jessica does a fist bump into the air.

“Yes! So glad I got all of your names down already.” She says lowering the clip board back down to her side. A man comes down from the stair case to quietly say something to her that the rest of us strain to hear.

Ms. Jessica nods and the guy walks back up the stairs “Alrighty are you guys ready to set sail?”

so thats chapter two :)

[misssakuramochi]

Hello there!! I saw your taking requests and I’ve been seeing that you’ve done matchups so I hope you wouldn’t care if I request a matchup here right now! I hope this is enough information to help you with this! de todos modos, ¡aquí voy!

Fandom: I’d like a romantic matchup for Persona5 please!

My name is Jaxrel but I also go by Himawari, Rin or Eden too! I’m Transgender (FTM), Aromatic, Polyamory, Unlabled, & Bisexual, I’ve been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, BPD & OCD, im wasian (eastern european & west-southeast asian), polish, arab/middle eastern, flipino, scottish & russian.

personality traits (and notes): extroverted, at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses “big” words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(I’m nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes I don’t mean to), dad/tharapist friend, when I go out I bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapstick(s) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some “repressed anger issues”, I get a realllyyy overractive Brain, I tend to get deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked, im on the more severe of of the Autism Spectrum so I would like someone to acknowledge that and I also stim when I’m to overwhelmed when there’s a crowded place, to much lighting, etc.

things I love about myself: when someone is going through anything or needs help with anything they will call me before anyone else, i have an ugly laugh so guaranteed if i laugh someone else will as well, how much i love animals if i see a stray around my house i will adopt it immediately, if i see a stranger crying in public my eyes will not leave them alone until i get the courage to walk up to them and ask whats wrong, i am very confrontational i will always stand up for whats right no matter how scary the situation may be, how greedy i am for money but when i love someone i will spend the world on them, how excited i get for little things like when someone buys me redbull, monster, cherry pepsi or chocolate pretzels/strawberries my day cant be ruined, how in touch i am with being grateful if someone helps me in anyway or does something in general to benefit me i will never forget it, dont take people for granted, ive been told anytime someone hangs out with me that being with me feels safe and peaceful, I pay attention to the little things, how even though i dont care about plushies i have been given some and i make sure to kiss them all goodnight in case they are actually real and see what happens, if i know someone is having a hard mental health day i will clean for them/ get them icecream and be patient till they are ready to talk about it, without fail a quiet person will always be loud with me, i am the type of person who just wants people i love to be happy even if its not with me, i will always choose them i dont say i love you until i mean it i will celebrate the people i love, i am very observant if i see that someone wants something i will get it for them no matter what, i will make it my mission to compliment a stranger that looks like they are having a hard time so their day is a little better, how i say i hate kids but i will protect them with my life and im so gentle with them, I am not ashamed of what i love like anime for example even though when I was teased for it when I was little i never once hid that i loved it, even if i dont like a song that someone shows me i will be hyper while listening to it so they dont feel small and embarrassed around me, how soft i become when someone holds my hand, even though hugging makes me uncomfortable i will push past that boundary and hug someone with all my heart if they needed it, i love how hardworking i am, whether its how much i love actually working or just getting out of bed knowing how hard my mind is fighting i love how i have gotten up everyday for the past 12 years despite how challenging it is to, i am an emotional person but i will always cry for a sad scene in a movie, if i love you, you'll be seen.

hobbies: anime/manga, gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (I’m a vocaloid producer, i rap, i make odecore/breakcore/scenecore music and I make music like ATARASHII GAKKO, BABYMETAL, YOASOBI & Ado too), dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG’s, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/basketball and swim, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it

likes: vocaloid/utau, k-pop/j-pop, watching documentaries/youtube, decorating my room, iced coffee, boba tea, bread, sharks, cats, cold weather, christmas, musicals, cleaning, rhythm games, being with my friends, shopping, partys, mint candles, sweet and spicy food, any asian food (japanese, korean, chinese, taiwanese, etc), the mandela catalog, your boyfriend (game), roblox(game), otome games and more!

dislikes: bitter foods, strong scents, pessimism, hot weather, feeling restricted, over-possessiveness, conformity, having to be responsible for others, when people don't stand up for themselves (i tend to look down on/clash with people who are overly insecure), overly anxious people, people-pleasers, when people act condescending towards me

these are some of my top kins!!:  hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars),miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), geto suguru (jujustu kaisen), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), blade (honkai star rail), hua cheng (TGCF), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more....!

I'm a ENTP, 4w3 and a Aquarius

misc: I live in a mixed language house hold where I speak mostly polish and Arabic, and some Korean and Japanese, it would be nice if the person who I get can react to that lol, i know 6 languages (Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish & French), clumsy; accidentally misuses slang or phrases bc i can never remember how they go (e.g. "bust this popsicle stand" instead of “blow this popsicle stand"); prone to be a bit directionless in life, tries to find comfort and humor in hard times, tries not to take life to seriously, i love dancing a lot, I do a lot of dancing like tiktok (idk I’m so sorry😭) dancing, belly dancing, dabke dancing and more.

appearance /aesthetic: 5'6 / 167.64 cm, midsize, rectangular body shape, i have a masculine and feminine face (somehow), dimple on chin, hazel eyes, wears glasses, dyed black boy hair, lots of piercings, no tattoos(I need some), for style, i wear a lot such as goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, i wear streetwear clothes mostly at home/school/work, i basically wear casual clothes too but can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, i wear fishnets and combat boats/converse, but I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as kimono style, jirai kei, decora, mori kei, cult party kei and more but the ones highlighted are the ones I wear mostly.

Thank you so much! Have a good day!

I match you with...

HARU

○ Haru is such a sweetheart that it's incredibly easy to be around her. Even though you're shy at first, she makes you feel comfortable and safe, so it's not long before you warm up. It makes haru so happy when you start to open up to her, and she loves to listen to you ramble about any and everything

○ Your confidence and will to do whats right at all costs inspires Haru. In turn, she's a little more level-headed, and keeps your sense of justice from getting you into too much trouble - though, when someone needs to stand up and do something she's right behind you, admiring you standing up for the weak.

○ Haru is level headed and calm. When your brain runs away from you she's always there to reel you back in, confronting the raging tornado of your thoughts with loving words and logical explanations. Often one to suffer from overthinking, she understands and is ever patient with you.

○ Haru loves how confident and unabashedly yourself you are. She admires that about you, and it draws her in instantly. She loves the way you get what you see with you, and it generates a lot of respect in her, since so many people she's forced to interact with on behalf of her family are fake.

HEADCANONS

○ You're Harus scary dog privilege. She doesn't stand up for herself much, even when she needs to, and while she learns to care for herself you take up the role of protector. You don't let her let anyone walk over her. She becomes equally as protective as you, though she expresses it more in being a good listener and always supporting you

○ Gift giving is big between the two of you. At first you're a little insecure because Harus gifts are huge and expensive - a Rolex, a new suit, a trip.... however, once you learn that it's just because she has the means and not b3cause that what she expects things sail a lot smoother. Haru actually treasures little gifts you give her more than anything because they come from your heart. She displays every knick knack you pick up for her on a special display shelf in her room

○ Indoor dates! Both of you get overwhelmed in huge crowds, so many of your date nights are inside. Movie nights, game nights, or deep talks snuggled up in bed. The two of you love to just be together one on one

○ Haru is also multi-lingual! It comes in handy in the world of the rich, and she speaks a few languages herself. The first time she responds to you muttering to yourself in a language other than Japanese or English you're elated - you love practicing and keeping up with languages together, and you help one another learn new ones

[blackvail22]

i cannot help but become irritated when im near her. i know that is a toxic thing to say; i know its unhealthy for me. it just... happens

i tried to have a good day today because i was going out with my sister and b-i-l for my birthday and eating later with my whole immediate family. i did have fun! we bowled for 2hrs, went to a japanese bakery and got my birthday cake n some more treats, and i went to get milk tea.

everything was fine until i was near my mom.

i dont know what it is about her, but whenever im away from her for hours n i come back home, it just.... i just get so irritated.

i try to not talk so i dont get her irritated, but that always makes her go "aww, is someone mad?" or "why are you so pissed off for no reason" or gives me a look that shows shes seeing red.

on the way home from dinner, my parents were talking about a house that someone moved out of; they each gave different addresses for the house. my mom *insisted* she was correct, and--even though my dad literally said he may be wrong n doesnt rlly care abt the address--kept arguing that my dad was wrong and upset.

one thing abt my mom that i despise: EVERY SINGLE TIME you "irritate her soul" she will rant abt how much she hates you and at the end WITHOUT FAIL says "fucking trash bag bitch". what comes after that depends on the person... for me she'll say "fucking trash bag bitch, youre so fucking [r slur]" and for my dad she'll say "fucking trash bag bitch, child molesting mother fucker". there is one thats universal though which is "fucking trash bag bitch, i hope you fucking die"

oh! another thing abt that, SHE WILL LITERALLY SAY THAT ABT RANDOM PPL SHE SEES ON THE STREET AND ARE MINDING THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS

anyway, back to my story! while she was arguing w my dad (after telling me theyre not arguing) she said her signature line i stated above.

my dad went into the gas station after she said that to him and heres where i come in!

she was ranting to me "your dad get so upset over every little thing"

i said "well, you do that too"

she said "no he's just mad cuz he's wrong....he never fucking listens..."

*dad comes back to the car with 3 cigarette packs instead of 2 (my dad went into the gas station 4 my mom)*

"...again, he never fucking listens! he just hears what he wants to hear"

"yeah, i dont rlly want to listen to you rn. plus, all you said was 'cigarettes' you didnt say an amount"

"yes i did! i said '2 cigarettes'"

me: "no u only said 'cigarettes'"

mom: "dad, why are you mad?"

"because you keep going on abt something that doesnt matter to me!"

"no, its because youre wrong. youre all mad because youre wrong"

"no im not!"

*i look at the house through maps and tell them the correct address*

mom: "[my first name] shut the fuck up before you become homeless because youre getting real close"

dad: "stop fucking saying that! youre not kicking my daughter outm regardless, shes never gonna be fucking homeless"

*we get home*

dad: "i forgot to get smth to drink because of you"

mom: "yeah, you can get one of those little bottles [of alcohol] like you do every night" (my dad is a recovered alcoholic)

i told her she was irritating 🧍

she said "move tf out then"

i said "im trying to" (because i am)

im sitting in my room now wanting to scream, cry, fight. i feel so fucking .... tense. i feel tense. im so tired of having to deal with my mom. as much as living w a man by myself (even my dad) scared tf out of me, im so tempted to move into his tiny ass apartment and sleep in the living room. i cant live her anymore!!!

me n my friend have been talking abt getting an apartment/go apartment searching after i recover from my procedure that im having next week.

i need to room w her. i need to live w someone that doesnt fucking hate me! i need to save up every paycheck im having. even tho i go on a vacation end-october, im moving out and im going low-contact w my mom. i cannot deal w her anymore. i will get my license in a month/month-half time. im determined. i need to do anything to get away from her

[drelmurn]

Also, I was relistening to Folk Songs for Folar Sailor because I put up Hope Eyrie earlier, and I think this song is appropriate for the season. :)

14. "Wobblies From Space" A salute to Joe Vlad, then the oldest member of the IWW at 96, and unions. Solar Sailors booklet notes: Dedicated to Joe Vlad, the oldest member of our union, who was 96 when he died on May 26, 1977. I've often wondered why so few SF stories deal with the future of the labor movement; doesn't anyone believe there'll be unions, strikes, or labor organizers in the future? This was written to fill that gap; as long as someone works for someone else, we'll need men like Joe.

Lyrics:

Listen and I'll tell you a tale I've been told of a union organizer who knocked a starship cold. They met where the stars are scattered thin out on the galactic rim, And Starfleet command is sorry that they ever ran into him.

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

Now the ship was patrolling rim stars when she got a call for aid, And up come a local convoy in a hurried grim parade. Saying, "Captain we've caught a monster who's too much for us by far So take him please and throw him in the heart of the nearest star"

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

"Just why do you need a whole convoy?" the Captain wished to know. "Three ships to guard the other lest he grab it as we go." Now the Captain was intrigued and he said, "stand by for scan," But all that showed on the viewing screen was a little old union man

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

The Captain said, "I can take him," and he beamed the man aboard The convoy turned and raced away crying "Thank the Lord!" Then the Captain looked him over asking, "just what's going on That they sent out half their trading fleet just to make sure you were gone?"

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

The little old man just chuckled saying "Captain don't you know? My job is organizing wherever I may go. And I can build me a union out of anything you got, And the folks who run that planet well they disliked that a lot"

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

"I first organized the laborers, Then I unionized the clerks, Then I unionized the robots who staffed the atomic works. But when I organized the milk cows and led them out on strike, Well you can guess what official reaction to that was like" Wha-ha-ha!

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

"Amazing," said the Captain, "but you cant do that in here, My crew are loyal navy men and we've no cause to fear." But he heard the old man saying as he walked out the door, "Captain, y'know, there have so been navy unions before"

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

Well the Captain soon forgot him setting course for Starbase Five. For all he saw the union man he might never have been alive, Till a troubled ensign asked him "is it true sir what they say? That we've got high hazard duty without high hazard pay?"

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

Well the Captain couldn't answer except to say "its true, Starfleet could pay you better but theres not much I can do." But when he woke up next morning he found out what morale was like, For the bridge was filled with pickets and the whole crew was on strike.

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

Then the union man walked up and said "I'm sorry to trouble you, But your ship is now a job shop of the I double-W. We've sent our demands to Starfleet command and they said they'd grant us none, So we're just gonna keep on sailing until this strike is won."

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

"Now further we've decided to run this co-op style, Giving everyone experience at each other's job awhile. We like you too much to dump you at the first starbase we see, But we voted you to the galley and this week's command to me."

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

So somewhere down in the galley you'll find poor Captain Kirk, Scrubbing away on dishes swearing it'll never work. And Spock as he dries those dishes says, "It might succeed I fear, And please, Sir, while you're washing don't splash water in my ear."

Fold up your guns, Run while you can. Look out, here comes the union man.

[rightxonxmain-archived]

smolcuriouskitten:

"Better be." She teases with a smile, gently bumping the edge of his chin. A kiss was planted on it, happy to have him back as well. While she was pissed off beyond many degrees, it was all a huge misunderstanding. Thank god she was able to calm herself down enough otherwise he may have been 6 feet under.

Turning her attention back to Alymer, she rolls her eyes. "And if you did, I would have squeezed you like a blueberry. Newsflash pipsqueak, Im immortal. I cant die even if I wanted too. This isnt an invitation for you to eat my head either, when regenerating you would have to gag it up so we will both be in displeasure. So no, I wont thank you." The woman growled at him, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Heres a promise. A brain. If you dont mind the victim already being dead, you can eat on the brain for as long as you want. Or if you prefer, I can cut the brain out so you can have it for later. You CANNOT kill them by eating their brain, you will make my clients very angry. As long as you stay quiet and dont blow my cover, you get what you want." She folds her arms in order to clarify for him but nonetheless, she was just happy he agreed to it. Her heart couldnt take finding Brian like that again, especially with the aftermath.

As he clutched her hand and she teleported back to their apartment, she looks around at the damage she made. "Oops." She mutters to herself but the attention is turned back onto Brian. Looking up at him, she nods, her eyes softening as he pouts his heart out. She wasnt gonna cry in front of him but her grip tightened on his shirt, rubbing his back. "You cant blame yourself for something Alymer did but no need to dwell on it, I forgive you." She reassures, rubbing his face, pressing a kiss on his nose.

"From now on we talk out our issues! No more secrets! I refuse to have pointless arguments and disagreements....Plus I hate being angry....it exhurts too much energy." She cringes and listens to Alymer, playfully rolling her eyes. "You are forgiven as well smurf. Dont go taking Brian off with you when I feed you though....Im extremely territorial and I hate sharing." She makes the watching you motion before she boops Alymer.

She pauses when he calls her Babe, her heart swelling even more. A bright smile danced across her lips as she began to giggle childishly, loving the nicknames. When Brian redirects her attention to the damage, she chuckles and nods. Snapping her finger, the apartment went back to its untouched state. "Of course you can ask about it. Feel free to ask anything." When he talks about Alymer, she scrunches her nose and blinks, then she realized his fear.

"Oh you are thinking of traditional witches with broomsticks and cackle at the moon. We arent like that. Besides, thats not my home. Its my sisters opposite's house. My home is always open for you. I dont think you ever asked to see my place yet." She teases, tilting her head, her deadpanned self coming back in full force.

"And a coven? Really? Oh you have so much to learn, both of you." She responds with an eye roll. "So did you want to see my home or is Alymer gonna be a big baby?"

Aylmer would be lying if ever he said he hadn't kicked around the idea of munching on Onyx's grey matter. Knowing what he knows now, though, he of course wouldn't dare. The parasite may have been a lot of things, but stupid wasn't one of them.

"Why mustn't I kill them? Do your clients enjoy taxidermy? Human pin-cushion of their enemies? Or's it more to do with the formality of it... mmmmbecause I would effectively be doing your job for you... Oh, yes, I can see how that might end badly if you're employers were to find out... Very well. My bite won't be the killing blow. But might you consider leaving them on the brink of death? A brain without adrenaline for me would be like cereal without the milk for Brian."

***

Onyx kissed his nose and for Brian that symbolised reuniting—the feeling of which was almost orgasmic. It reminded him too of just how long it had been since he'd experienced a real orgasm.

"I-I agree. Anger isn't worth it."

Brian followed Onyx in touching Aylmer affectionately upon the head. Hopefully, Aylmer, thought, this wasn't going to become a trend among them whenever their shoulders were feeling particularly light.

“Oh…” Brian was actually joyed to hear that it wasn’t Onyx’s house but the next couple of words got a confused scrunch out of his face. “Your sister’s what-now?” While he was certain he’d heard ‘opposite’ in there somewhere, he had no other clues or context. It seemed like a pretty random thing to say, even coming from a recently outed witch.

“No, I-I KNOW I asked to see it…" Brian hated this feeling of not knowing; even though remembering wouldn't be a problem anymore, he still could not account for a lot of things that had happened before the healing took place. "Didn’t I?” It wasn't his fault for the most part, but it made him feel like one heel of a boyfriend, definitely.

"I wasn't myself for a while, and I’m awfully sorry I let that happen… If it's all the same to you, Onyx, I'm asking now-" The red bud of shame had clearly begun blooming in the smooth soil of his youthful cheeks and, growing nonplussed, Brian scratched softly over his cheek-adjacent beauty mark.

“I promise Aylmer won’t be any trouble—Besides, I’m your baby,” the man emphasized, having loved it every time she’d ever referred to him as such.

Give Aylmer any limbs for a day, and he surely would’ve slapped the back of Brian’s head in that moment. One great big fuck up between the three of them and it was like the two bipeds were courting allover again.

smolcuriouskitten // cont'd [ x ]

Brian didn't face Onyx straightaway but gradually turned his head towards the woman he loved. He knew that making eye contact wasn't an imperative since she seemed to never change her expression (usually) and therefore it wasn't easy to read her reaction to what was being said to her.

Still, he had called her in here and now he was obligated to treat this like an actual civil conversation.

"Well, that's kind of just it-"

The young man practically recoiled when he saw that grin which was, unfortunately, getting to be more and more characteristic. It was also a bit of a 'war flashback' moment for him, as he could recall breaking out into maniacal smiles for no reason at all starting with his connection to Aylmer.

"You and he have been doing an awful lot of talking lately..." Brian sighed, still in the dark as to the light shooting out of his head. Right now he had a rig of saran wrap and tape over it to keep the elements out, but he knew that would only get him so far. Needless to say, hats were a must when out in public. His brother Mike was bringing new fashions over weekly.

"I just don't want you going down the same path as I have, Onyx... And I don't want more trouble for Aylmer, either... It's not any secret how much I've had to pay the cops to keep quiet about things as they are..."

***

The parasite was indeed incapacitated, currently swaddled and sipping chicken brains from a blender cup with a straw, but the severed link between himself and Brian had caused an additional phenomenon; he could now hear all of Brian's thoughts! Even from another room!

Needless to say, the attempted co-conspiring taking place in the bathroom caused unhappiness to swell inside of his blue body. Onyx was his only recourse during these tough times, this he believes wholeheartedly... Aylmer didn't actually posses a heart, instead a heart-like part called the aortic arch, but that's neither here nor there. All that mattered was his will to pit Onyx against Brian because Brain, bless him, was of little to no use anymore.

[subspencer]

I had this in my thought in my head all day during so listen:

Sub!spencer with his glasses ! He has been needy all day, so he has been whining all day and getting on you nerves a bit. As punishment you tie his hands up and tease/edge the absolute shit outta him. It’s getting so heated that his cute little glasses start fogging up and bc he is tied up, he cant do anything about it which in turn makes him even more frustrated. Just imagine the desperate noises he’d make 🤤

wc: 965 cw: dom!afab!reader, sub!spencer, light breath play, bondage, orgasm denial (briefly), little bit of crying and begging

______

“Please?” he pants, squirming against his restraints. “I wanna see you.” Spencer cries out and it turns into a whine the longer you stay quiet.

You only tied up his wrists, but you may as well have blindfolded him, too. The second things got hot — literally — his glasses fogged up with the condensation from his own warm breath. He couldn’t see out of them enough to recognize anything even an inch from his face, let alone to see you on top of him, rocking your hips as you fucked him slowly.

You fawn at his desperation, grazing his jaw with your hand tenderly. “You know you can’t, baby.” 

His begging doesn’t help his case. It’s what got him into this situation in the first place.

All day long, he followed your trail, begging for your attention. “Such a needy whore,” you mutter, remembering how he acted earlier. 

You got one day off from work, and you wanted to use it to get some things done around the house. Cleaning, chores, errands — boring, but necessary things. And Spencer decided he was more important, trying to interrupt you every time your attention moved away from him.

He tends to be well-behaved for you, but today was the closest he got to being a brat. He got in the way of everything, begging to be kissed just one more time for five times in a row each time you stopped. Every task took twice as long with him lingering around in your home. 

Then the way he acted at the market crosses your mind, and you grind down harder on his dick, scratching your nails down his chest. A hiss leaves his lips and you smile.

You thought maybe he’d settle down once you left the house, so you let him come shop with you. Turns out that if he’s desperate enough, his hesitance to PDA flies out the window. He kept wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, leaning his chin on your shoulder when you wouldn’t look at him, nuzzling into your neck and peppering kisses on you for attention. He said he’d stop if you kissed him, but he lied. Repeatedly.

Nothing was enough for him. Not then, and certainly not now. You were going to make sure of that. Spencer wasn’t going to get nearly enough to make him cum tonight.

“Can you feel that, baby?” you smile, your hips picking up pace. He nods furiously, a soft sob leaving his lips. He knows what you feel like when you’re about to finish, the way your muscles tighten around him as you chase the feeling.��

His head thrashes to the side as he tries to use his arms to knock the glasses off his face. 

“Just let me see —” He starts to plead again, and you cut him off with a hand on his throat. You don’t squeeze down, at least not very hard. It’s just a warning that you could very easily stop him from speaking, if you wanted. 

In a moment of kindness, you bend forward to give him a kiss, letting him slip his tongue into your mouth for a brief moment as he feeds his hunger. He groans when you pull away too soon, tilting your head back to let your sounds release freely as you feel yourself reaching the end. 

Your hands dig harder into his chest, helping you thrust down harder, faster, until you feel the knot in your stomach burst. Fluttering around him as you quietly scream his name, dropping your head and biting his shoulder as you settle down from your high. 

He didn’t see any of it, but he felt every millisecond of it. And it left him aching, still hard inside you. As you climb off of him, you can see how red his cock is, leaking at the end. Desperate to cum, just like you knew he would be. 

You run a thumb across the tip, wiping the fluid leaking from it, and clean it off with your mouth. He whines again, hips pushing into thin air, unable to find any friction or relief. 

 “I know, baby, I know you wanna finish.” You hum, pushing the sweaty hair off his forehead and combing it neatly to the side. “And I almost wanna let you.” 

His mouth hangs open, a stream of begs escape. “Please — I’ll be good, I’ll be so good I promise.” 

“After today, why would I believe you?”

He doesn’t have a good answer. He’s an absolute mess, writhing against the sheets and rubbing his wrists against the restraints until they turn red. A tiny tear rolls down his face, wetting his temple and hairline, as his chest wracks with a quiet sob.  

“Are you really that needy? Gonna cry for me?” You tease. 

He nods, unashamed of how much he needs you. 

“Fine,” you grunt. It would be so easy to deprive him, walk away from the bed and leave him like this until he learns his lesson. But this is Spencer, and you’ve always known how needy he is, and it shouldn’t surprise you when he behaves this way anymore. 

Your palm hovers over him, ready to help him over the edge, when he’s already coming hard, making a mess all over himself. Now that is a surprise; you’ve seen him in all stages of neediness, but he’s never cum without contact until now. 

He whines, breathy and high pitched, and pants as he calms down. You laugh at this new layer of desperation you’ve uncovered, like it’s a new trick he’s just learned. With soft pecks on his nose, right at the bridge where his glasses rest, you smile, “Just when I thought you couldn’t get worse, you prove me wrong.”