#I cannot take any defense over his performance seriously

[fayevalcntine]

Seeing any kind of Brad Pitt defense over his portrayal of Louis in the 1994 movie is actually insane to me because that man did not emote a single time in any proper way throughout the film. Making a sad face while barely trying to bring any shred of emotion in your line delivery when your character is literally narrating the story to someone (and in doing so needs to be able to pull that person in with their storytelling) while at the same time blatantly showing his own hypocrisy in what he believes in vs what he does is not actually "being the perfect Louis".

Book Louis is a hypocrite and an insane man who thinks himself exempt from the judgement he places onto Lestat for doing outlandish killings or throwing out his anger onto the mortal world. He tentatively agrees to referring to himself as his slave while also having been a literal slave owner. The fact that he controls the money, the investments and even owns the house where the entire unholy family live is what further drives that point home. But book Louis is also supposed to be charming in his own way. He pulls in Lestat, Armand, even Daniel with his own contradictory behavior. He's not just a pretty face who got targeted by a vampire, he's a man who was never morally pure to begin with, and that allows him to even survive as a vampire, despite his moral dilemmas over feeding off of humans and the purpose of his own existence when he questions it against the backdrop of his Catholic faith. Brad Pitt didn't even try to understand this basic reading of his character, let alone emote it.

[a34trgv2]

Top 10 Unpopular Animation Opinions

#10. Over The Moon Isn't A Good Story About Dealing With Grief: I've made it no secret that I hate this movie (here's my review on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/a34trgv1/film/over-the-moon-2020/) but to put it bluntly, this film did NOT do a good job telling it's story. The mother's death is rushed, Fei Fei is woefully unlikable, and her quest is just not interesting. I'd rather she'd stay on her and have the movie be about her trying (and failing) to build a rocket to the Moon and have it be more of a grounded story with some fantastical elements.

#9. The Cuphead Show Is One of The Funniest Cartoons I've Ever Seen: I'm just not onboard with critics saying it's passable at best. I was all in on this show and thought it was really funny. From great visual gags and really smart humor, this show does the game justice and then some.

#8. Regular Show Would've Been Better Off Without Margaret: People on the Internet really like throwing Mordecai under the bus and calling him a "simp." I agree he has major relationship problems, but Margaret isn't any better. In fact, I'm surprised how not many people are talking about how she's just a bland character that gets worse as the show goes on. She lies to Mordecai, leads him on, shows off her boyfriends, never sticks to a boyfriend, and she withholds the fact that she's moving to college from Mordecai until the last minute. She's also not funny, not interesting and if she was dropped from the show after Season 1, I'd honestly think it'd be better for it. She is one of the worst kinds of characters in a show or movie or video game: absolutely useless 😒

#7. Kung Fu Panda 3 Is One Of The Best Conclusions To A Trilogy: I've gone into great detail on why I think Kung Fu Panda 3 is better than most people give it credit for (here's my defense I made last year:

) but to cut to the chase, the Kung Fu Panda Trilogy closed the franchise off in the best way possible. Po reunited with his biological father, he mastered chi and became a really good teacher. The best part of the film though is that epic climax in which Po battles Kai in the Spirit Relm and takes the form of a dragon made of chi. That, right there, is straight up awesome! I absolutely love the film and I stand by my opinion that Kung Fu Panda is one of the best film trilogies of all time.

#6. Family Guy Should NOT Have Been Revived After It Was Cancelled: Family Guy may have had it's bright spots but I never thought it was great, never mind one of the best comedies of all time. After it was brought back after being cancelled, the show has since become worse in quality. Every time this show does something shocking or tells a painfully unfunny joke, I roll my eyes and ask myself, "THIS is the show that fans wanted back so badly?" More power to you if you like this show, but I just don't think it was worth bringing back.

#5. The Good Dinosaur Is Pixar's Most Underrated Film: It really is sad that The Good Dinosaur isn't looked back as fondly as other Pixar film. This film tells a really good story with memorable characters, outstanding animation and a really good score. I plan on making a full post about it soon because I have a lot of praise to give this film.

#4. The Mitchells vs. The Machines Is NOT Funny: I just cannot get behind this movie for the life of me. In addition to a poorly written story, unlikable characters and a really bad performance by Michael Rianda as Aaron Mitchell (seriously, we are NOT short of talented child actors that could do this character justice!), it's painfully unfunny with over reliance of Internet references, dated mean, and obvious set ups and lack luster punchlines. I rolled my eyes at the Furbie sequence, I sat there with a stone cold face when PAL is having a tantrum and anytime they referenced the howling monkey meme, I audibly groaned. To me, The Mitchells vs. The Machines is a bad animated comedy that I never found funny, just annoying 😒

#3. Illumination Entertainment Is A GOOD Animation Studio: I'm honestly really tired of people on the Internet undermining and not appreciating Illumination Entertainment. Comments like "their films are the same" and "they just make cash grabs" come off as petty and lazy. Illumination films have great animation, really funny humor, memoable characters and strong voice acting. They're so much better than the Internet gives them credit for.

#2. Miko Kubota Deserved A Better Show Than Glitch Techs: I've made it no secret that I was rather disappointed with Glitch Techs (as evident by this post:

). The best part of the the show though is Miko and I think she should be in a better show. One where the writing is less formulac, where the supporting characters are strong and likable, and one where Mitch Williams is out of the picture.

#1. Amy Gillis And Robin Snyder Should've Been Main Characters After Their First Appearance: I've never seen such great characters be given the shaft so hard and so quickly after their first appearance. Amy (from Clarence) was a fun, smart and adventurous girl and Robin (from Powerpuff Girls) was so sweet, funny and understanding. They were both great friends to the main characters, and they shouldn't have just been relegated to just one-off guest stars. These characters should’ve been mainstays in their respective shows and the shows would be so much better for it.

Conclusion: Many people have their own controversial or unpopular takes when it comes to animation. These are just a few of my own. Honorable mentions include the Cars franchise is actually pretty good, Samurai Jack Season 5 was an absolute blast from beginning to the very end, and the "CalArts style" y'all speak off doesn't exist. Feel free to let me know your controversial animation takes, but please be civil about them. Thanks for reading.

[free-pancakes]

Hogwarts AU: Headcanons game

More Hogwarts AU stuff for the snk vets! Thanks to @luanabonn for asking me to join her with this :)  

Hange Zoe Wand: Hazel/Dragon Heartstring (It said Hazel wood is sensitive and works best for a wielder that can understand and manage their own feelings. since hange can get really angry and emotional i feel like itd be cool to see her struggle with this wand at first but slowly master it. Dragon Heartstring is also prone to accidents and is temperamental LOL, I just think Hange would be the only one to tame such a difficult wand) House: Gryffindor (agree with luanabonn that Hange would totally be a hatstall, but I like to think she’d end up being in Gryffindor. Parallels to Hermione: smartest witch of her age but can pack a punch when angry and will stand for what she believes in without backing down) Patronus: Dog (Border Collie) Blood status: Half-Blood (She’s well versed in both the muggle and wizarding world because of it) Excels: Care of Magical Creatures Sucks at Potions: She’s not even bad at it, she just likes to experiment and loved making her cauldron explode. Quidditch position: Chaser. Loves scoring against Hufflepuff’s Keeper, Levi Ackerman Pets: 2 toads named Sawney and Bean. but she’s always with the Care of Magical creatures professor  so like every animal in Hogwarts’ grounds knows and loves Hange. Hopes to one day own her own hippogriff.

Levi Ackerman Wand: Poplar/Unicorn Hair (a reliable, consistent wand with the rarest wood that is happiest with a wilder with clear moral vision) House: Hufflepuff (totally the black sheep of Hufflepuff, gloomy angry scowled boi but has the kindest heart of them all) Patronus: Black Cat Blood status: Pure-blood (of the Ackerman bloodline) Excels: Potions Sucks at Care of Magical Creatures (lol he just hesitates and gets grossed out sometimes and the animals feel that. They tolerate him because he hangs around Hange all the time) Quidditch Position: Keeper, loves to block goals by Hange of Gryffindor house Pets: He ends up taking care of Hange’s toads and gets his share of time with animals because of her. But he does have a small cat.

Erwin Smith Wand: Laurel/Dragonheartstring (Laurel wood does not tolerate laziness, and cannot perform a dishonorable act) House: Slytherin (driven, clever, strong sense of brotherhood aka really cares about those closest to him) Patronus: Deer (male) Blood Status: Muggle-born (credits to luanabonn for this one! I like the idea of Erwin being such a driven Slytherin down to his core, but he’s kinda outcasted for being muggle-born) Excels: Defense Against the Dark Arts Sucks at Herbology: It annoys him that his grades are perfect except for this class. Hange and Moblit always take turns to come help him. Quidditch: Chaser (always competitive against Hange) Pets: Also tired of running after Hange’s animals, can’t deal with another pet of his own lol. He has a snowy white owl thought so he can send letters to his family.

Moblit Berner Wand: Poplar/Unicorn Hair (the same wand as Levi’s. Hange teases Levi about this, and Levi gets a bit jealous of Moblit for a time over it. Moblit tries not to get involved) House: Gryffindor (kinda like Neville? always worried and skittish but will save you, super brave when needed to be) Patronus: Rabbit Blood Status: Muggle-born (parents are just as nervous as him, they ended up with a magical child after all) Quidditch: Seeker :) Excels: Herbology and Defense Against the Dark Arts Sucks at Potions: literally only because he abandons his work to try stopping Hange from making everything explode Pets: A small brown owl that perches on his shoulder a lot.

Mike Zacharias Wand: Maple/Dragon Heartstring (Maple is a wand of high achievers, growing in ability with its partner. He is very competitive as all Slytherins are, he and Erwin compete a lot which makes each other grow into skilled wizards) House: Slytherin (I think he’d be Erwin’s best friend in Slytherin house) Patronus: Dog (Bloodhound) Blood Status: Half-Blood Excels: Potions. Argument between him and Levi at who’s best at this subject. Levi has natural talent and Mike is good with his nose, which helps him greatly. Sucks at Transfiguration. Nanaba always helps him with this subject, and it’s how they became close friends. Quidditch: Beater. Idk why but this just makes sense to me lol Pet: Rat. Gets mad at Hange for sneaking the rat more cheese, and it gets very chubby.

Nanaba Wand: Alder/Unicorn hair (ideal owner is helpful, considerate, and likable) House: Hufflepuff (Levi’s only friend Hufflepuff house. She’s the only one he tolerates lol, and sees through his RBF) Patronus: Otter (otters cuddle and hug each other and I imagine she’s like this with all their friends.) Blood Status: Muggle-born Excels: Transfiguration. She turns Levi’s stuff into little animals that scurry away from him and he’s always running after something in the Hufflepuff common room. It annoys Levi but he can’t help but laugh sometimes when she does this. Sucks at no subjects actually. She has perfect scores because she’s naturally book smart, which annoys the hell out of Erwin. “Who care about plants???” he always says in response to Nanaba’s grades, and Moblit always gives him a glare. Quidditch: Beater. Will never let Mike forget that she hit a blundger right at Mike, and he fell and broke his arm. They get very competitive with each other during matches. Pets: Cat. Very floofy, helps keep watch over Sawney and Bean because they often escape the Gryffindor common room.

This was seriously so much more fun that I though it’d be. Tagging you all if you want to try, I’d love to hear what your hc’s are! you can do whatever characters and how many you want if u decide to do this @smallblip @fanmoose12 @innocent-ghost-demon @chili-aux @borninolympus

any other potterhead/snk fan pls try :D

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

The race continues! Let’s see how everyone else gets past the first obstacle.

[No. 25 - In Their Own Quirky Ways]

Yamada is vibrating in excitement as he announces that the first event is an obstacle race - a lap around the stadium, made just for that day. Which again points to the events themselves being non-randomized, which I think we all already knew. Wonder what would happen if said ‘randomizer’ got hacked… ah, well, the staff are probably prepared for that?

Also, I love Aizawa’s gruff little ‘hey’ in response to Yamada’s excitement, like. You can tell he’s telling his friend to dial back without any further context. 

As we go back to the students fighting the robots, Yamada continues his explanation: Anything’s fair game so long as the contestants stay in bounds, making the whole race a harsh game of chicken. And all the action is brought to the audience by the camera robots at each location! Aizawa wryly notes that Yamada doesn’t even really need him there. And pfft, I love how the camera robots are cheering on their larger brethren, telling them to aim for the humans’ legs and to smash the humans. 

The other zero-pointers still loom menacingly over the students, with the collapsed robots acting as a barrier to progress as well. Some of them are particularly nervous, one commenting on how there are kids pinned under the collapsed zero-pointers, while another says the crushed students have to be dead, and that they didn’t know the students could be killed during this event. 

(Seriously, though, what would have happened if students died during this? I have a strong feeling that wouldn’t have been good for PR…)

The metal of the robots starts to deform from underneath with several bangs, culminating in a hardened Kirishima bursting out from underneath, scoffing at the idea of his death. Yamada helpfully announces how Kirishima had been crushed. Kirishima’s quirk fades as he grumbles about Todoroki being a bastard for timing their fall like that, and that he’d be dead if he wasn’t him. We then get a helpful little quirk blurb from the narrative: Hardening turns his body hard as a rock - it’s the ultimate offense and defense!

Another part of the robot bangs from underneath, with a metallic-looking Tetsutetsu bursting up from underneath, complaining about 1a being full of jerks and that he’d be dead if he wasn’t him. Kirishima recognizes him as the guy from class 1b, while Yamada notes how Tetsutetsu had also been flattened. As if to continue to emphasize how similar their quirks are, we then get a narrative blurb: Steel turns his body hard as a rock - it’s the ultimate offense and defense!

Yes, they are written exactly the same way. Yes, Kirishima does realize how similar their quirks are. He dashes ahead with tears in his eyes, calling Tetsutetsu a copycat and that he fells generic enough as it is. 

(Insert a ‘B-baka!’ joke in here somewhere.)

Kaminari calls the two lucky for being able to just smash through without worrying about being crushed. Rin of 1b (with a scale quirk, not mentioned yet), shouts at Kaminari, or I guess the other students in general, that they should team up so they can carve a path through. 

Meanwhile, Katsuki is blasting himself up and over the zero pointers, telling himself he can’t let Shouto get ahead. As he flies up and over the top of the robots, Yamada complements Katsuki’s strategy of taking the high road, calling it ‘clever’. However, he’s not the only one to do so - Sero and Tokoyami are right behind him, much to his shock. Sero says that with his personality, he expected Katsuki to bust his way through, but that he avoided the potential fight. Tokoyami’s greeting is more simple, just stating that he’s happening to follow the same path.

The narration gives us brief overviews of their quirks as well - Sero’s Tape is shot from his elbows, and can be used to wrap things up, and can also be detached to lay down traps. Tokoyami’s quirk Dark Shadow is a shadow beast within him that can materialize and morph at will.

We briefly head over to the stands where Toshinori and some of the other school staff (Thirteen, Snipe, and Cementoss specifically) are watching on. Yamada announces how the current leaders of the pack are overwhelmingly from class A. Toshinori notes that Class B and the others aren’t bad, it’s just… And as if picking up on the same thought, Aizawa finishes that Class A knows there’s no time to hesitate. 

We get to see this in brief flashes to some of the 1a kids: Tenya is kicking one of the smaller robots, Kaminari is using his electricity like a taser, and Jirou is using her earjacks to disable yet more robots. Kirishima is sprinting as fast as he can, Ochako seems to be making use of her quirk, and Ojiro’s looking pretty cool while taking out a robot with his tail. 

Aizawa (and I suppose Toshinori, in his own way) continue their thoughts and explanations for Class 1a’s heightened performance: they’ve been exposed to the outside world, and up close. They’re had that fear planted in them, and they’re endured and overcome it. Each has grown from that experience, and forgotten how to hesitate. 

As if to emphasize this, we see Izuku ducking under the attack of a robot, dashing past it to grab a piece of (apparently heavy) armor plating from the zero-pointer Shouto knocked down. He notes how the contest has just begun, so he can’t rely on One For All just yet. As he keeps moving, he notices that the same robot is still locked onto him and chasing, thinking of how UA made them pretty tenacious. He comes to a stop and turns with the plate, noting that with how fast it’s moving, it can’t break quickly - a flaw he takes advantage of by spinning with the plate in hand, the momentum tearing through the thinner arms and neck of the robot. He tells himself he has to keep moving, while also acknowledging how handy the sheet is and that it can function as a shield as well.

Meanwhile, Momo our goddess blasts away the competition - almost literally.

Like, Momo. I cannot even begin to describe how cool that is. Abet I dunno if making something that big was the best idea for her reserves… ah well, I mean, part of this early part of the manga is the kids making mistakes and learning their limits and pushing themselves, so. At least it looks cool! Izuku’s impressed with how easily she beat a zero pointer, without acknowledging his own success in doing so just a few months before this.

(Then again, neither she nor Shouto broke most of their bodies to do so, so shrugs.)

Snipe notes how most people are better off dodging the zero pointers in the exam (guessing the entrance exam is what he meant here), while then acknowledging that they’re really just slow hunks of metal if you try to take them down - so long as you find a weak point. Toshinori is distracted by Izuku’s actions being on the big screen (or at least one screen). His thoughts acknowledge how Izuku has to know how crazy this is, but he keeps busting through. He then thinks that by the skin of his teeth is fine, so long as he keeps going.

And with that, we’re through the first obstacle, and onto the second… next update. I need to close my eyes for a moment because headache, bleh.

[mouse-fantoms]

Improvise

Thinking she has a moment to herself Julie plays a paino piece that’s been in her head for ages, Luke wants to hear more, a confession, cannot keep their eyes off the other’s lips

Julie was disappointed when she got into the studio and saw it empty. Usually at least one of the boys would be there. Luke wasn’t even on the couch, his eyes glued to his journal. Maybe they were hanging out together doing ghost things... whatever that meant. She didn’t really know what to do with herself. She’d grown used to coming home and seeing them. It had become part of her routine. She could find something to do, they would probably be back anytime now anyway.

She found herself going to the piano. Perhaps the memories of her mom and her tugged her towards the instrument. Or maybe it was the influence of the boys in her life as they helped spark her passion in music again.

Spark.

Her fingers hovered over the keys, trying to remember the notes to her mom’s song, Wake Up. Her fingers remembered some of the melody, considering the notes were so close together to one another. She recalled when Alex had revealed that they heard her that day. How long had they listened? Why didn’t they say anything initially? Maybe they didn’t want to interrupt or maybe Luke was too amazed to do anything. That was also an option.

After Wake Up she found herself playing another melody. A gentle, flowing one. A smile appeared on her face remembering when it originally came to her.

She was dancing with Nick one second then Luke the next minute. She hadn’t meant to. It wasn’t her intention to accidentally daydream about dancing with her new crush instead of actually dancing with her old one. Her mind was foggy. The memory of how well Nick had danced was hard to recall. Luke however, he could dance. As to the actual dancing capibilties of real Luke she didn’t know. But dream Luke, Prince Luke rather with that hair and outfit choice, he could.

The way she remembered him giving her an approving nod to grab his hands, the way her body felt electrified once she did. They were able to physically touch, hold hands, be close to one another, hold each other. Being able to feel the warmth of each other (was normal Luke that warm too?), feeling the air from his mouth as he sang the rest of his part in her ear. After he had spun her away from him she was pulled back into reality realizing she was in Nick’s arms.

Right.

Actual Luke was a ghost and the passed minute they spend together didn’t happened. Of course he hadn’t held her close, embraced her, held her hands.

It wasn’t just the dance, it was the song they had sang together too. Their song.

The truth is finally breaking through

Two worlds collide when I’m with you

Our voices rise and soar so high

We come to life when we’re in

Perfect harmony, woah, woah

The image of him picking her up as she opened her arms to the sky played in her head. He lowered her down gently as they looked into each other’s eyes. Luke’s ‘did that really just happen?’ look of amazement and her smile of agreement. The little bounce on his heels that turned into him swaying their held hands together left and right.

When she let her hands off the keys that’s when she noticed the three ghosts in front of the piano, mouth’s a gap.

“Seriously?” She let out a laugh, not minding the company, “I can never get a moment to myself in here?”

“That was...” Alex tried to think of the words to say.

“Perfect.” The word fell out as Luke’s smile of amazement took hold.

She blinked. “Wait? Did you guys-”

“Every word.” Luke answered mesmerized.

“We didn’t want to interrupt.” Reggie simply put.

“You seemed... into the song.” Luke was still in astonishment.

Well this was not awkward at all.

“Yeah! You know how it is,” she gave a nervous laugh standing up from the bench, “getting lost in the music.”

His eyes suddenly shifted to above the keys. “You... there’s no sheet music.” He noticed. “You did that from memory?”

“That’s all I could remember.”

“There’s more?”

Oh no, he wanted to hear more. “I was just inspired one day, it’s nothing. Just leave it.”

“Nothing!?” He was offended by her words.

“Okay, you cannot just leave a song like that.” Alex had to interrupt.

“Yeah, it seems too special.” Reggie added.

“It was just a one time thing, like I said, leave it.” She went away from the bench and passed them heading to the door. Suddenly hanging with them didn’t seem like the priority since they had just heard that, especially Luke.

“But-”

“Luke,” she turned on her heels to face the boy who had began to walk towards her to catch her before she left, “leave it.” She finally said and out the door she went.

Luke looked longingly at the closed door.

“Let me guess,” Alex didn’t need to see his face to know, “you’re not going to leave it alone?”

“You try leaving alone a song like that.” Reggie could understand where Luke was coming from.

Without a look to the boys behind him or any word, he poofed out of the garage.

~~~

“Gah!” She exclaimed in response to seeing Luke sitting criss-cross on her bed.

“Julie...” he begged.

“I said to leave it.” She closed her bedroom door behind her.

“I know, I know but-”

She folded her arms frustrated he wasn’t letting it go.

“You said you had part of it.”

“Yeah.”

“...Do you have the rest?”

“...It’s not really your speed.”

“I know but-” she could tell he was trying to ask without directly asking, “Do you have the rest of the song?”

“...I do.” He saw her hesitant and look passed him. He turned his head and saw what she was looking at.

“I thought you didn’t write music anymore.” He knew the only time she would, would be with him or if they were finishing one of her mom’s songs.

“I used to.” She found herself actually going to her dream box, taking in off the shelf and opening it. It was the first peice of folded paper on top. “Guess that changed when you guys fell into my life.”

She knew Luke was being Luke and whenever he had a thought he couldn’t let it go. He wouldn’t stop pestering her until he got an answer. That was the reasoning she told herself at least for showing him the song. When he took the paper from her he unfolded it to read it. She put the box back on the shelf and sat next him on the edge of her bed as he was transfixed by the paper.

“There are two parts?” He asked for confirmation once she sat next to him.

“Yeah... a duet. Sorry if it’s a little messy.”

Reading the chrous over again he didn’t think before saying, “Why would you want to get this out of your head?” Assuming she wanted to not think about a song like this anymore.

She noted how he remembered a fact he had learned about her during the first day they had met. “It’s just a silly little-”

“Silly? ‘We’re heaven on earth, melody and words’ If by silly you mean genius than sure.”

She smiled at the compliment he gave. Finding herself looking at his profile as he read the song. She noticed his eyebrows knit once his eyes stopped reading.

“What’s the L mean?”

She scooted closer to him to look over his shoulder at the paper.

“Before the, ‘Step into my world, better sweet love story about a girl’” He clarified.

Before the start of those lyrics, on the line above there was a ‘L:’ written. Then a few lines below was a ‘J:’ written and then below the start of the next lyrics.

“L for...” she wasn’t good with coming up with things off the top of her head, “lyrics.”

He tilted his head at her, picking up on her hesitant answer.

“I was writing fast.” She excused. “I was in a haze. Wanted to just make it clear where the lyrics were by marking them.”

She could tell he wasn’t fully buying it but his head went back to the paper.

“You said it was a duet...” he trailed off as the gears in his head were turning. “There’s an L marked but also a J...” he looked to her to see if he was on the right track. “What’s the J mean then?”

She bit her lips, finding her bedsheets a better sight than him.

“Julie...” He was looking for an answer from her even though he caught her lie.

“Lyrics do start with an L!”

“Then what does the J mean?”

She sighed. “You know what it means.”

She pulled her head back up to the ceiling. Her eyes did eventually land back on him. “When I wrote it down I didn’t actually think anyone would see it, especially you of all people. I had to get the thought of the dance and the-”

“Dance?” He became even more interested.

She shook her head, shaking his question away. “And then it got worse when we performed Great and you wanted me to come over to you but I was taking Flynn’s advice on ignoring the beautiful dead eyes and I was doing really well until you did that guitar riff and I couldn’t resist.”

“That was the point.” He thought he sounded smooth then realized that probably wasn’t the best move as Julie was going through her ‘saying-whenever-comes-to-mind, doesn’t-think-about-it’ little quirk spiel to him.

“And then! You had the audacity to come over and sit at the piano with me! We did not practice that in rehearsal!”

“I was improvising!” He put his palms up in defense.

“Would you have ‘improvised’ the rest if you hadn’t poofed away?!”

“That was the plan!”

The two stopped their shouts of frustrations after his answer. He corrected himself realizing what he said.

“Unless,” his voice dropped, getting shy, “you would have wanted to... of course...”

She looked to the side, her voice dropping to match his. “...You would have just phased through anyway.”

His eyebrows raised, a stutter from nerves. “Would-would you have wanted me to improvise?”

She took the paper he held in his hand, dangling it in front of his eyes. “Does this answer your question?” She set it beside her.

He had a thought. “Maybe now things are different.”

“Hm?”

“We were able to hug you.”

“That...” she shoke her head, “maybe that was just a one time thing that night.”

He looked at her hand that was on the paper of lyrics then back at her. She knew where he was going.

“Luke...”

She knew beginning to scold wouldn’t do anything. When that boy had a thought, he acted on it. She didn’t find herself moving her hand away when he went for it. Perhaps, they were both curious. She felt the warmth that was present when they had hugged. The warmth she had felt when she cupped his face to really look at him. The tears of fear had turned to happiness in an instant when he had cupped her face as well, proving it was actually real life. Real life that he wasn’t gone. The only difference being this time he didn’t appear to be glowing, although he probably felt like he was.

She slipped her hand out from under his, hesitating a response, wanting to change the topic though, finding it hard to ignore what just happen. “Yeah I wrote a duet between you and I.” She noticed his hazel eyes looking into her’s after she looked away from the paper that his hand was still on. “So... what...?” She trailed off as her eyes flicked between his lips and eyes matching what he did.

They became conscious of how close they were to one another, inches from each other, how they could close the gap. They each waited for the other, waiting to know if it was okay, evident by how they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other.

“...Do you want me to improvise?” He asked, lowering his voice, not wanting to ruin the moment.

She leaned closer to show her approval, closing her eyes as she did. He had done the same as she. They waited for the feeling of warmth on their lips. How magically it must be. How gradifying it would be. They had an instant connection from the start. It was like they were at the piano together during Edge of Great expect this time he wouldn’t poof away. He would stay to close the space between them this time. He would-

“Julie?” A knock came at her door the same time as the question.

Their eyes shot open, seeing how they were just centimeters from each other. Luke had quickly gotten up at the same time she had looked away. Trying to distance themselves from the awkwardness.

Her bedroom door opened.

“Dad!” She looked over surprised.

“Were you...” His eyes looked around the room. “Talking just now?”

“Nope!” She let out. “You probably heard my laptop.”

He looked at the closed laptop. “...uh huh. Hey! While I have you, do you mind helping me chose some pictures to send to a client? You know your brother, his eyes aren’t as keen as your’s are with my photos.”

“Umm...” she looked to left, expecting to see Luke standing there but saw nothing. Of course he had poofed away. Why would he stay after they were just interrupted by her dad of all people? “Yeah sure.” She answered.

~~~

“Ok what was that?” Alex’s question came after Julie had exited the studio after a rehearsal.

Reggie and him immediately picked up on the obvious tension that was in the air between the two. After they had gotten done what they needed to, which was rather quick, as Julie went for the door the drummer and bassist shared a look to each other. It was great they didn’t even need to talk out loud, both instantly understood. Reggie poofed out once Julie exited. Good. He got the message.

“Ugh!” Luke groaned, ignoring Alex’s question. “I needed to ask him something.” He said in response to seeing Reggie poof out as he took his guitar off himself, setting it on it’s stand.

“What was that?” Alex repeated standing on his feet, holding his sticks in his hand.

“What was what?”

“That!” He gestured to the door that the ‘what’ of the question had just walked out of. “We can never get you two to stop making eyes at each other. And today you two were... normal.”

“Normal?”

“We just did a basic run through. You two didn’t do your Luke and Julie thing.”

“We have a thing?”

He was starting to get annoyed that he was acting like nothing was different. Maybe Reggie was having better luck.

“Gah!” Julie held up her hands as a reflex. “You guys have to seriously stop doing that!” She said in response to see the ghost in the red flannel at the top of the stairs when she turned to go up them.

“Sorry!” He immediately apologized. “I would’ve been in there,” he pointed to the door, her door, on his left, “but you have the ‘Stay out of my room’ rule.”

“At least two out of three of you understand that.” When she was halfway up the steps and made a gesture with her hand to her right, telling him it was ok to go into her room. If they were going to have a conversation it was probably best to do it in her room. The staircase probably wasn’t a good place to be having a conversation with a ghost that no one else could see.

“Speaking of all of us,” Reggie began once she closed the door behind her, “what happened at rehearsal today?”

She sighed. “You could tell?”

“It was hard not to.” He took a seat at the edge of her bed. “You two are always close together, sharing the mic all the time. But you weren’t this time.”

“Right, we weren’t.” He saw her look to the side at her floor, a look of hurt. She started to play with her thumbs. “It’s just...” She trailed off, he noticed her hesitation.

“You don’t have to tell,” he gave her the option, “it’s your guy’s business. Alex and I just don’t want to see our best friends... off. The way you two come up with these killer songs, the joy and passion both of you have when you perform.”

She gave a little smile.

“We just want to-”

“I know. Your hearts are in the right place like always. Or... well...?”

“We’re still figuring out the ghost thing. The teleportation is cool though, doesn’t tingle as much now.”

“Must have been a weird adjustment.”

He shrugged. “We’ve always had each other. Not much changed aside from being ghosts and having you now. Which now you and Luke have each other which again begs the question,” she let out a little laugh, finding it amusing he found a way to bring it up in again, “what happened?”

She continued to fidget with her fingers but went over to sit on the bed next to him.

~~~

Alex was ready to be done with Luke. That was until Reggie decided to poof in next to the blond.

“Find anything out?” He asked.

Reggie looked expectantly to Luke. “...yes.”

Luke flung his head to side. “How much did she tell you?”

From him staying quiet and looking down, he got the assumption that he knew most of the story.

“It just kind of happened.” He summed up recalling earlier. “I asked to see the song and we got caught up in the moment.” A smile came on his face.

“Ray interrupted...” Reggie continued, knowing majority of the rest of the story.

Alex looked between the light smiled Luke and Reggie, trying to read their expressions. Trying to add the pieces to the puzzle he didn’t have but the other two did.

“Oh.” he looked to Luke. “You mean you guys almost... you mean haven’t already?”

“Alex!” Luke protested.

He put his hands up in defense. “You two spend a lot of time in those song writing sessions.”

“That’s never happened.”

“Yet.” Reggie added.

He shook off his friend’s comment remembering the question he wanted to ask earlier. “You know paino...”

“Yes...” He was wondering where the question was going.

“Can you...” he saw Luke reach into his back pocket and pull out a piece of folded paper, “Can you read this?”

He took the paper from him, he read the paino chords, with the addition of Alex looking over his shoulder wanting to read the paper too.

“Yeah.”

He noticed him looking down, licking his lips before the question came. “Can you... teach me?”

He couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “You didn’t even have to ask.”

~~~

Out of all the things to come home to, hearing the piano being played was probably at the bottom of the list. She dropped her bag off inside then went out the back door to the garage. When she was further away, the music was faint, barely able to hear it. As she got closer, she recognized the tune. She carefully, parishly, opened the door to peek inside.

By the window, near the greenery, she saw Luke and Reggie behind the piano. A peice of paper was on top of the grand instrument, Luke’s fingers at the keys and Reggie supervising. Reggie was watching his fingers press on the keys and cause the beautiful sound. His wrist became relaxed switching from note to note, feeling the music. Until a nasty off-key note was in the equation from Luke slipping up and hitting the wrong key. From he frustrated sigh and Reggie’s sympathic look, this hadn’t been a first mess up.

“Maybe you should take a-”

“No,” he protested, “I can... I want to learn it.” He corrected looking to his right at Reggie.

“You will.” He was trying to be encouraging even though he didn’t like seeing him frustrated with himself. He saw him stare at the keys, as his fingers hovered over them, hesitatant to start again not wanting to mess up Julie’s beautiful notes she wrote. “Do you want me to leave?”

“What?!” He asked more upset than he intended, warming Reggie’s heart. “Why?!”

“You make a lot of progress on music when you’re alone.”

“I do?”

“The amount of bangers you’d come up with when we’d leave you alone.”

He didn’t realize it before but there was truth to his statement. When he had his nose in his journal with a pen in hand, he was in the zone.

“And,” he added raising an eyebrow, “the bangers you and Julie come up with when we leave you two alone together.”

Luke’s unenthused expression was his reaction to knowing what his friend was trying to allude to.

He asked after a moment, “...You two really haven’t yet?”

“Reggie! You’re just as bad as Alex.”

He put his palms up in defense. “You two just give off those vibes.”

“...Vibes?” His eyebrow raised in confusion.

“...I’m around Flynn and Julie too much.”

He gave a little smile thinking of Reggie hanging with the two girls.

“Maybe you’ll make some progress.” He said as a goodbye to his friend for the time being and poofed away.

Julie saw as he smiled to his right where Reggie was moments ago and his eyes went back to the keys. He tried to play the notes quick and messed up when he did so, he repeated trying to quicken the tempo, getting the same result every time. Until he took a breath, looked at the sheet of paper in front of him, and played. His wrists became loose again and his shoulders dropped. Perhaps it was the atmosphere in the room because she found herself coming out from behind the door and going inside in the studio, closing the door quietly, not wanting to interrupt. She could hear the part he played in her head when she closed her eyes:

You set me free

You and me together is more than chemistry

Love me as I am

I'll hold your music here inside my hands

We say we're friends, we play pretend

You're more to me, we're everything

Our voices rise and soar so high

We come to life when we're

“In Perfect Harmony.” She found herself sing. Luke shot up from the piano bench, being startled and looked in the direction of the angelic voice he heard. “Sorry! I just got caught up in-”

“How long were you there for?” His eyes darted to look down then back up to her at the door.

“Long enough to know that Reggie was helping you.” She walked closer so they wouldn’t be having a conversation on the opposite ends of the room from one another.

“Yeah I,” the back of his neck suddenly itched, “asked if he could teach me.”

“You could have asked me too... you know.” She came around the right side of the piano, getting closer to him.

“I know.” He seemed to immediately say. “I just kind of wanted his help to learn this song and you weren’t supposed to know about me wanting to learn it but... well...”

She let out a laugh. “I’m sorry but it just sounded really nice. I had to investigate.”

“Nice?”

“Yeah!”

“...I wouldn’t really... call it...” He looked at the sheet of paper. “Would you... want to... maybe help me with one-”

“Yeah, of course.” She came around to sit on the bench as he sat back down again.

He pointed to a verse asking for her assistance on. She nodded and said that she noticed his main limitation was that he wanted to quicken the tempo. She played the first set of notes and paused, wanting him to replicate it.

“Don’t just play notes.” She responded when he played the correct note pattern. “Keep the tempo I give.”

She redid what she played, paused once more to wait for his reply with the instrument in front of them.

“I know you want to go fast but this isn’t that kind of song.”

“...What kind of song is it?” He asked knowing full well the answer.

He saw her hesitantation. “It will... it’ll ruin the moment if the tempo is changed.” When she looked at him, the piano lesson seemed to be forgotten.

There was a sense of déjà vu. The two looking at one other once again not being able to keep their eyes off the other. They were having a moment. A moment at the piano as he was trying to learn their song. Waiting, once again for the other to do something.

Luke spoke after some seconds, “Do you want me to improvise again?”

A smile came across her lips, finding his question amusing.

“Speaking of ruining the moment, is your dad around this time?”

She shook her head, smile still on. “No, he’s not.”

Her excitement reflected onto him as the same smile appeared on him.

It felt like they were feet away, but when they leaned into each other, meeting in the middle, they were just a mere centimeters away. The feeling was electric. They could feel the other’s smile through their lips. It wasn’t everyday this got to happen. It wasn’t everyday a moment like this was shared between the two people who had mutual crushes on each other. It wasn’t everyday time stopped when you were kissing the person you were melody and words for senseless. Time continued when the two came up to only touch foreheads with one another, eyes closed basking in the moment that was just shared.

“At least you can inform the guys that it’s happened now.” She opened her eyes to look to his.

He chuckled, realizing she had overheard him and Reggie earlier. He opened his eyes to meet hers, “Yeah, I guess I can.”

Time seemed to stop more the longer they were at that bench. Forehead’s touching, smiling giddy at one another. They should improvise more often. This was nice.

[popculturebuffet]

Star Vs: Stump Day Review or The Why Are You Booing Tom He’s Right Holiday Special

Before we start a special credit to @jess-the-vampire​ who I discussed the episode with during the writing process and brought up a LOT of good points that ended up going into this review. She clearly hates it as much as I do and had even more good reasons for it.  Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everybody! And today we got a big, fat, grotesque lump of coal to smash to pieces. And after a long, draining, if worth the effort scrooge review, and with this being something I needed to cross off my to do list this holiday season, I put this one here as I could use the cathariss of giving this steaming bowl of elephant piss a good thrashing. As you can tell unlike my usual reviews, I do not like this episode. This isn’t the FIRST i’ve not liked i’ve covered, but it is the first rather infamous one to me i’ve covered and not just a dead possum of an episode I ran into while reguarly covering an otherwise good show like “Quaraller’s Pass” or “Strife of the Party”. This one’s had it coming, making my top 8 worst christmas specials list last year, and while not the series worst outing, that’s a toss up between the finale and marco jr, it’s easily one of them. So while usually I like diving deeply into something good and picking apart while it’s good, if not ignoring any bad aspects, here i’m just going to take a hammer to this thing to explain why it dosen’t work and why it sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms. I might be overstating it a bit but probably not.  Nothing really new has happened since the last episode so the only new thing to cover is why i’m doing the episode here instead of after Monster Bash. And the simple reason is that like the Ducktales Halloween and Christmas specials, this episode clearly does not take place in the same time frame of the episode before or after it, with the next episode, The Bog Beast of Bogabah, taking place the day after Monster Bash. It’s most likely they simply held this episode over till Christmas and it dosen’t really fit in AFTER the huge game changer that is monster bash, especailly since the next three episodes after this all take place in rapid sucession, two on the same day one the day after them. So yeah i’m doing this one first and putting it ahead of monster bash on my episode guide for clarity’s sake. 

Good, so with all that settled, let’s unwrap this complete works of pauly shore shall we? We open on the titular Stump Day, essentially mewni’s christmas complete with Cocoa, carols and a gay couple and their equally adorable child. And Star, unsuprisingly is giddy for it as the actual chlidren, and wearing an adorable santaesque dress complete with horns on her santa hat. Seriously you cannot tell me tom didn’t get that for her. Fucking precious. Marco is more just confused and has his hood up and one of Star’s cousins asks uncle river to tell him the origin of stump day. River’s response.. is easily the best joke of the episode. 

“(in a jolly tone) ha ha, you don’t tell me what to do”

He does so anyway though: Basically when settlers arrived on Mewni they found themselves cold and griping with each other, and soon found a blizzard had struck.. but by huddling together under a magic stump, they all learned to get along or something like that and now once a year everyone gathers in warmth and camraderie.. or else. Before Marco can understandably question what “or else” means in this context, Star butts in when one of her cousins chastises the younger one who asked river the question for beliviing and says he’s real. It’s a nice touch as it fits star perfectly to still belivie in mewni’s horrifying version of santa. I forgot just how adorable and likeable the character was before the final season shot that to hell. How her energy could be infectious and how Eden Sher really brought her all to the performance, which is still the performance of her career and hopefully like Rider Strong she’ll do more voice acting eventually.  So that night as Star tucks in after wonderful  night of sleep, and to avoid her dad’s usual drunken chorus of Tom Jones “Sex Bomb”, and gets woken up by Marco who leads her to the dining hall because a windows broken to fix it with magic. Star entirely buys this flimsy story.. but as Jess pointed out, and as I missed hence the credit up top... she dosen’t bring her wand. She.. dosen’t bring her wand.. to go fix something with magic. Now i’ll grant next season shows she CAN fully do magic without it, and while not as powerful like her mom still has plenty of punch behind it.. especially when she does the rainbow fist thing. But it’s still.. weird she dosen’t think to grab it and feels out of character. While Star’s learned by this point not to rely on it, and as we’ll see gives it up entirely, one of the few bits of her character development that actually sticks, it still seems resonable she’d take it with her wherever she goes.. and usually SHE DOES. And her jammies, which are also adorable, seem to have pockets so the animators had no reason to not just stuff it in one. It would’ve made their job harder yes.. but then don’t have marco use an excuse that directly requires it then and draws attention to the fact the wand is missing, and the fact you blatantly just hoped we’d forget about it as it’d ruin the climax. 

It’s far from the worst thing in this episode..trust me we’re almost there. But this does bring me to a point.. so far the episode is GOOD. The comedy’s good, the setup for what’s about to happen is good, the holdiay setting is warm and inviting but weird enough to perfectly fit mewni, and River, much like his VA and homosexual talking boat portrayer Alan Tudyuk, is a national treasure as always. Whelp it’s all down hill from here bitches! Giddyup. 

So Marco announces a SUPRISE PARTY! And everyone’s there: Tom, Kelly, Ponyhead, Starfan14... oh yeah this is the first ep i’ve coverd with Starfan14 isn’t it? Starfan14 is star’s insane fangirl, voiced by series creator Derfron Nercy herself, who star happily tolerates despite clearly wanting to wear her skin. We’ve all been there. Also Jackie is transparently missing, though at least it’s SOMEWHAT reasonable as she and marco broke up a few .. months ago? I mean it is winter on mewni for this episode but the end of season 4 and the series is set at the start of summer, yet months still pass..... 

Confusing timeline aside, Jackie has every reason not to attend a party thrown by her ex for the girl who confesed she had feelings for said ex and it’s probably the only good decision Marco makes this entire episode that he wisely decided to give Jackie some space. And it says something a decision made entirely off screen that was probably because the creators genuinely forgot Jackie once she was out of the way so they could shift the love triangle stuff to Tom, Star and Marco instead of you know.. not doing that because most love triangles are annoying at best and utterly insufferable at worst. Case in point this episode but I can give out more about this aspect of things in a bit with more context. 

And to his credit, and as Jess backed me up on, Marco’s gesture is genuinely throughtful.. at least to start with. He got her a choclate fountain, brought all of her friends, and geninely just thought Star never celebrated her birthday on her birthday because it was you know the same day as christmas. As someone whose birthday is a week before christmas, December 16th if you were curious, I understand the pain of having your birthday in the same month as christmas. Of having all your presents clustered at once and of having to manuver around a very stressful season, though it does sometimes have perks like getting to celebrate your birthday and christmas, it also means your birthday is secondary and always will be to most people due to proximity. And Star has hers ON mewman christmas, so it’s even worse. So from Marco’s perspective, TO START, his best friend constantly had to share her birthday with her faviorite holiday and just wanted to do something nice. SO FAR, he’s done nothing wrong and just means well. That’s... about to end.  Star.. instead of being greatful.. starts muttering no before going on an manic rampage and destroying everything including hte band’s insturments. And apparnetly star’s gotten some flack for her behavior.. but I understand it. To her the stump is VERY real, and will be very angry if someone else celebrates so to her all she’s doing is saving her best friend from the holiday equilvent of the trees from evil dead, and when Marco asks about it she GENUINELY is sorry, getting he meant well, that he was being sweet, and that he did a lot of nice stuff for her.. she just can’t celebrate not because she loves the holiday but because again, from her persepctive, the stump will kill them all if they don’t support it. She is genuinly affraid for her friends lives and given she could go grab her wand and fight it, clearly thinks she, with all her CONSIDERABLE powers, cannot win this, and neither can tom whose powers are almost entirely fire based. Star is just trying to protect her friends from being horribly murdered. And she turns out to be entirely right about it so no, star was not a jerk here. A bit over the top, but she was not insensitive, she was not mean, she just didn’t want a party for understandable reasons.

So let’s get to actually insensitive shall we?! Marco’s reaction to this is at first confusion as he didn’t realize the stump was real, though Tom, Kelly and Pony are convinced it’s not. Also this episode implies Kelly is from mewni, but she turns out not to be so why she knows about the stump I genuinely don’t know. They think it’s just a baby thing.. though in Tom’s defense he dosen’t phrase it that way, thinks star still beliving is cute, which for a teenage boy finding out his girlfriend belivies in santa is very sweet and mature of him, and is trying to be nice about it even if he doesn’t believe.  But Marco.. his response to his friend having a good reason for not wanting to have the party.. is to complain about how much effort he put into it and try to guilt and bribe her into having it by mentoining he got her faviorite cake flavor, rainbow. Just.. WOW. I’ve seen some bad turns from characters, but WOWWWWWW. Holy shit.. I mean at least other jerkass marco episodes before this had SOME reasoning to them. Sophmore Slump had him clearly sublimating his feelings for star combined with the usual obnoxiousness of someone having gone abroard for the first time, which as Letterkenny recently went into, the only thing worse is Stillborn Puppies. Nothing else. 

And with Lint Catcher while he was presumptive and not blameless.. river still outright lied to him. Here? It’s clear star dosen’t want this, cake can be refigirated, he only takes a loss on the choclate fountain and he could still just let everyone have some and say it’s for stump day to appease her. He dosen’t have to take a loss on this finacially or morally and there would be no harm done. But that’s.. not what HE wanted, not waht HE set up and he wants what HE wanted, which was to impress star with a thoughtful gesture. But that’s the thing bud: Gestures aren’t about you or what you get. Their about doint something nice for another fucking person. It’s the whole point of christmas and birthdays: To just give someone something to be ncie and to celebrate the day and them respectively. If she dosen’t WANT your gift for understandable reasons and isn’t being rude about it you don’t have any leg to stand on you seflish twatwaffle. 

So already Marco is not coming off well.. and if you know this episode you know it gets worse. Oh god it gets worse. So first PONYHEAD of all people calls out Marco.. and for once, PONYHEAD, the most selfish, most unresonable and a character whose tolerablity varies on the episode, tells him he’s being selfish and is only pressing on because of his need to control things. So not only is Ponyhead right but the episode LIKELY wants you to feel she’s wrong because she’s pony which is not how this work as she knows star well and thus, while unaware she still belivied in the stump, which tracks as while it’s obvious she does Pony is so up her own whatever she has that functions as an ass, it’s understandable she’d miss some details. So no Pony’s right, and the fact PONY is one of the more resonable people in this episode is both a sign of the apocalypse, which is thankfully starting to recede, and a clear marker of just how bad Marco’s being if someone who torments him and disagrees with him out of principal is entirely right. 

Oh but it gets worse as next up, Tom steps in and tries to get Marco to back out, admitting he told him this was a bad idea. Now granted Tom did mess up by not stepping in to stop this a bit.. but he A) didn’t know how much his girlfriend genuinely belivied in the stump and B) Probably assumed Marco meant well, as would I before he whined about not getting his way, and decided it was worth a try. So he’s not that bad, and while it is a bit ehhh to try and take back credit for this when he participated, it’s still minor and Marco is still being a huge dick who refuses to help shut things down when it’s clear the party is only causing star to have a panic attack and assault some humble marachi players. He sees nothing good is coming from this and just wants what star wants. Also it paints Marco in a worse light as he was warned about this, and was so obssed with making it a suprise party because that’s how his plan went, he refused to just.. talk to her about it. Hell he could’ve just casually asked “Why do you never celebrate your birthday on your birthday”. It’s an easy question, dosen’t give the game away and allows him to gage if this is a good idea or not BEFORE baking a cake , hiring a band and getting a chocolate fountain. Instead he just went ahead with it.  And he did so.. because this ISN’T about making Star happy. This is abotu HIM making star happy. Him showing her how thoughtful, and considerate and sweet he is and how he’s always been there for her and how maybe she should be with him instead of Tom. I mean it just comes off that way.. he made it a suprise party because in his head that’s how it worked and she was super impresed and left tom that day to be with him in some elaborate fantasy. Granted the episode dosen’t say this.. but it sure as hell acccidently implies hte hell out of it by having marco act like a selfish ass who refuses to take what STAR wants into consideration, and just wants to get his fantasy back on track. What supports this to me is how he treats tom, you know one of his best friends: He, again, accuses him of forgetting.. then calls him a bad boyfriend.. a bad boyfriend for NOT wanting to force a celebration on his girlfriend she does not want, and for not forcing it on her. For you know GROWING AS A PERSON.  Beacuse here’s the pickle pumpernickle: This thing Marco’s doing? Is exactly the kind of thing a pre-character development TOM did, that was rightfully framed as bad. Being controlling, wanting things to go JUST a certain way instead of letting them flow naturally, not getting the hint star isn’t intrested, and not caring about what she wants and only what you want. Marco is doing the same thing Tom used to do. And for starters i’ts already bad because you know MARCO WAS THE ONE WHO FINALLY GOT IT THROUGH TO TOM THAT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR WAS TOXIC AND SELFISH. But apparently when it’s Marco himself doing it it’s fine. If there was ever any clear evidence Marco regressed as a character, there it is.  Him actively unelarning a lesson he taught someone else and then getting combative when that person rightly tries to call him out. Marco is just insufferable in this episode: He’s being selfish, creepy and posseive and he’s apparenlty supposed to, at least on some level BE RIGHT.  But.. we will get to that. Consider a pin put in this rant. 

So Tom overreacts, and throws some fire at marco, which is genuinely wrong and Kelly’s right to call him out, and then headlocks him asking marco to say he’s a good boyfriend. Marco screams out ‘NEVVVEEEERRRR”

I just made this, by hapinstance, while watching the video I put up there. I.. I did not think i’d get to use this so soon but my god. Just my god that’s a terrible thing to say.  So the party soon breaks down elsewhere as Kelly is mad at tom for.. understandable reasons again the guy she has a crush on was just nearly set on fire, even if i’m still on Tom’s side overall here, it’s still not right. Janna points out it’s probably because she has a crush on marco, which while acurate dosen’t mean she was wrong and Tad pops out to be upset about that. Even though you know you two are broken up and as Kelly points out he needs to move out. Pony is mad she’s not getting any attention and Starfan is mad because star’s mad. Star results to desperate measures, opening the windows to try and repeate the act of the settlers.  She didn’t however count on the Janna factor as she throws the stump in the fire, which is in chracter. What’s not, and again I give Jess full credit for this one, is that everyone just starts.. warming around the stump and not caring like a bunch of jackasses not caring about their close friend, and in tom’s case, girlfriend’s feelings. Also tom and marco apparently stopped fighting just to be this stupid. 

But naturally burning the symbolic stump is a bad idea and the real one attacks. Protip: If you live in a world of magical nonsense, maybe don’t discount the magic stump. Everyone’s captured, including moon and river, with River also being suprised and replying to Star’s annoyance at him not beliving with “Sweetie it’s a stump!”. Alan Tudyk is a god and I feel you all should acknowleddge that. But yeah everything seemsm to be bad but everyone apologizes, if not for the right things in Marco’s case, and Tom says “I’m sorry i’m a bad boyfriend!”. You .. you aren’t. You did nothing wrong. I feel like this is tom for the last agrivating 6 minutes of the episode

He did SOME THINGS wrong but he is NOT a bad boyfriend. He is throughtful, kind and while he has flaws, SO DOES STAR. He is not a bad boyfriend for not wanting to repeat past abusive actions! GAH. Let’s just get on with it. They all hold hands, they thiunk this is what made the stump go away but Star is sure it was just going to kill them, Moon and River have a thousand yard stare as they realize they both have to get repairs for this room now and do an extra big stump day next year to make sure it dosen’t come back. And Marco apologizes to star.. for not beliving her. Not for forcing this on her, not for causing all of this, not at all to tom, but for not beliving her while star FUCKING APOLOGIZES TO HIM.  Pin removed, bullshit falling to the floor... Trunks if you would. 

Thank you. Star DID NOTHING WRONG. Tom DID LESS WRONG THAN MARCO. WHY ARE THEY APOLOGIZING. Why is this little shithead getting everything he wants as the party happens after all, if a day later, and he gets to dance with star, while everyone else is painted as being in the wrong? That’s what makes this special so putrid: that MARCO is apparently in the right for doing the same , if on a smaller scale, manipulative shit tom used to do before he grew as a person, yet the episode sides with him, props him up and teases Starco. If it’s Starco it’s okay apparently and that’s.. not okay. You can’t .. build a ship on a character acting like a jackass. That’s not how this works. Marco was wrong, he was bad and he should FEEL bad. Instead he’s just a creepy jerk this entire episode, being entitled, manipulating star, screaming at tom.. and gets REWARDED FOR IT. Fuck this episode. 

FINAL THOUGHTS: I believe I said Fuck this episode.  This is easily one of star vs’ worst episode and much like the season after this episode it gets worse the more you think about it. I put it on my worst holiday episodes list for a reason.. and frankly even with the decent first 4 mintues it should be higher. It’s an unplesant mess that throughly ruins Marco’s character and takes him from a kind, upstanding, polite and bright young man to a creepy manpiulative jackasss. Fuck this episode and have a happy holidays. 

[musicfren]

They’ve got a bad reputation (they’ll get a standing ovation) part 2

HI HAVE I, TOLD YOU, THAT, @nottesilhouette IS THE MOST FRIGGEN AMAZING WRITER IN THE WHOLE WORLD? God...why do we do this to ourselves, friggen 3400 word story in the span of 2 days...this is entirely exclusively my fault pay no mind  Read part 1 here. Happy @felinettenovember y’all, time for slep!

...oh, dear gods, why is Felix here? The spotlight burns into his face like shame, regret bubbling up in his stomach. He doesn’t remember challenging Marinette but he has, apparently, and now everyone’s watching and he has to-- he has to-- fight. Defend himself. 

Or breathe, if he can manage it.

One seems easier than the other. Well, here goes nothing. Felix steps forward and calls engarde. 

“Ophelia did nothing but obey the men in her life!” He cries, stepping forward, gesticulating wildly. The crowd gasps, and Felix doesn’t understand why until he realizes he's still holding the sword prop, white-knuckled grip around its hilt. Marinette’s eyes go wide with surprise and Felix nearly blurts out an apology right there. But then a glint of something sharper flashes in her gaze, burning with determination and suddenly Felix isn’t feeling quite so confident. It’s too late to quail now. He steps forward and matches her, still talking. “She’s hardly enough of an independent person to qualify as a character.” 

“What would she be, then?” Marinette’s voice is steady, calm, and Felix is wildly, irrationally envious of it. He can’t work out how to make his statements come out smooth, suave like she’s managed, so he goes for the next best weapon: rage.

“She’s little more than a symbol, a prop,” he spits, and the crowd reacts appropriately. Something in his chest loosens at the idea that he’s performed correctly. Something in his heart wrenches.

Marinette sends him a snide look. “You would know. You’re a model mannequin.” 

They’re circling each other now: Felix is brash, forceful, cutting broad slashes through the air with each sweeping generalization he makes. Marinette is steady, precise, pulling apart the stitches of his defense with needle-fine precision. His pulse quickens; a glance at the audience shows she’s winning their favor. This isn’t the clever riposte and quick banter they expected, and Felix is coming across as dim-witted at best. 

“Well, what is she then? You have so many judgements, it’s time you raised an opinion of your own-- or do you have no policy but to raze mine?” Felix pushes her back, scrambling for repost. He needs to be interesting, he needs to be clever, he needs to-- turn it back onto Marinette before the crowd realizes he’s faking, that he doesn’t want to be here, that he’s… scared. 

His tongue sours at the words, and he hates himself for saying them. Marinette shoots him a glare full of challenge, and for an instant he considers conceding right there. Marinette believes so strongly in her cause, and Felix is desperate to apologize, to reconcile, to just acknowledge the points she’s making. But he’s trapped now, caught in the reputation he’s built for this audience and his own pride, and he has nowhere to go but forward. 

Or backwards, apparently, because with each point Marinette makes, crisp and concise and clear, Felix finds himself frantically retreating further and further.

“Ophelia is the only person in the play who recognizes that Hamlet needs help.” 

“That’s not true--”

She cuts him off with a slice.  “She’s the only person who notices and tries to stop him, who cares enough to call him out on his actions, to hold him accountable to the promises he made before his mad plan, to who he used to be.” 

“The entire argument is milquetoast--” He stabs desperately.

“They speak of beauty and reputation, of expectations and the way one’s actions will never outweigh the image others have of them.” 

“They speak of madness and prostitution!”

They’ve become locked in combat now, their blades darting in the scant space their words leave behind. The crowd presses forward, squeezes the stage almost to bursting. Nino presses his face to the camera lense, not wanting to miss an instant.

“The argument is framed against women but its themes are centered on Hamlet’s own realization of the position he’s found himself in. It breaks the adrenaline rush long enough to show him, in all his grief and desperation, the reality he’s constructed for himself. They speak of agency!” 

“Ophelia has none!”

“Ophelia reminds him that he does!” Marinette’s voice finally raises. “Ophelia reminds Hamlet who he is, what he has, if only for a moment. Ophelia grieves for him, for his loss: of his father, of his sanity and dignity and agency. She acknowledges that he is a liar, but remembers the man he used to be, the person he put work into being.” 

“She laments the loss of his attention, nothing more.”

“To write her statements off as such discounts the tone and the manner with which they are intended; she is returning his madman’s accusations with compassion and reason, she is the only person who has done so, who will ever do so.” 

“Why should I take her seriously when no one else does?!” It’s a mad, desperate response as he finds himself teetering at the edge of the stage, and he’s unbalanced. He swings again, unhinged. 

“None of the men in her life-- not her father, not her brother, not god himself-- take her seriously until she dies.”

“She trips into a river.” Finally, Felix is in charge of this conversation; this, Marinette cannot deny. It is his strongest point, and the only point that matters. He steadies himself, holds his sword like a shield to defend his statement. 

“Her death is not an accident. Her death is the culmination of the climax. Her death is the reason anyone stops long enough to notice how far gone Hamlet is! Her death tethers Hamlet to the person he used to be, who loved her once, who remembered what it felt like to choose what he did and who he was.” 

“That makes her nothing more than the physical manifestation and harbinger of Hamlet's descent into madness,” and Felix puts on a smirk because he knows he should. 

Felix wishes he was being honest, passionate the way Marinette is being. Felix wishes her voice didn’t seem so far away, calling from a world he remembers existing in but can’t find his way back to anymore. Felix wishes he was talking to her in a realm even close to reality instead of the mirage he’s operating in, desperate not to fall through. 

Instead, he steps forward from the edge of the stage and keeps his sword aloft. “She’s trapped in the societal confines of traditional womanhood. She’s nothing more than a woman in a world where that doesn’t matter.”

“You’re right.” 

Marinette stops moving forward to meet him, drops her arm. Felix is thrilled, and sick and confused, doubly so when he notices the ferocity in her expression. It is not one of someone who has given up. It is one of someone who is about to pounce.

“You’re right, she is nothing more than a woman in a world where that doesn’t matter. No one cares what she has to say. So she makes it matter. She dies, and she is finally heard. You’re right, and she’s a genius for the way she wields it like a weapon.” Marinette smirks, matching his smugness with self-assured pride, and taps his wrist with her sword. His own slips easily out of his grasp, and he trembles; with what emotion, he cannot place. “Being able to do the work of all these men in 58 lines doesn’t make her less of a character, Felix. It makes her more of one, and more power to her for what she’s able to notice that no one else will. It’s not her fault men can’t manage it.”

 Felix finally snaps. “My sense is not less than yours!”

Marinette pauses, and very very slowly, grins. It’s terrifying, predatorial. She rakes her gaze down his body, and he shivers. “I had thought to agree but this battle of wits has proven very much so the opposite. When she blows him a kiss and winks, Felix collapses where he stands. 

It’s over. The tension the assembled students have been holding in their collective lungs for the last five minutes erupts into cheers and thunderous applause.

“Bravo, bravo.” says Nino, pushing through the crowd, most of whom are still frantically scribbling in their notebooks. Felix can scarcely bring himself to look up, his face burning with humiliation. The room around him is rapidly becoming a confusing blur of angry lights and prying eyes.

“You guys were amazing, I’ve never seen anything like that before! Honestly I should turn this in just like that.” Nino moves around to get a few more shots of their faces, lit up under the harsh theatre lights.

“No way!” shouts someone from the crowd, “I’m turning it in first!” “--can’t believe how easily Marinette just eviscerated Felix! I thought he was good at literature but--” “--she’s so clever, he could barely keep up--”  “--he’s not very good at this, is he--”

Someone else laughs and soon the whole crowd is bickering, arguing over who will lay claim to Marinette’s mental prowess and Felix’s mortification. 

“Enough, ALL of you! That was completely uncalled for. This wasn’t for you to take advantage of. None of you-- none of you-- bothered to state your own position, your own opinion. All you did was encourage my attacks, which were honestly in poor form.” Marinette hardly stops to breathe. “And anyways, I’m only more coherent because I’ve done weeks of research on this character. Felix kept up to someone who wasn’t just thinking on her feet, and his points still had credibility-- do you know how many literary analyses I’ve read on his position just to try and work out how to defend mine?” Marinette leans over and offers Felix a gentle smile and an outstretched hand. He gratefully accepts.

Felix takes her hand and pulls himself up with it, and stands shoulder to shoulder with her, looking out at the sea of chastised faces. “And now you think you can turn in our work-- her work, really-- and our performance as your own as if you have any claim to it-- it’s disgusting. Marinette poured herself into caring about this, and… and I should’ve listened to her, but I don’t get to take credit for the work she’s done to be this person. I need to do the work myself. You’re manipulators and thieves if you think you deserve any part of what she’s done.” 

“Hey, everyone is manipulated by something. Hamlet, Claudius, Horaito… you would know, right?” Marinette looks at him again, soft and shy and concerned through her lashes.

Felix swallows hard, glances at the cameras still rolling. Yeah, he would know.

“Thank you.” He says, stumbling and trying to hide the way his legs are shaking. “I, um… I guess I’d better put these swords away before someone stabs themselves.”

Nino slaps a hand on his shoulder so hard he nearly falls back down again. “Felix, my man! Get that grumpy black uniform off you!”

“Um… what?” Felix turns in confusion, head still spinning.

“You, my friend, are stage-hand no more! We’re still missing a Hamlet, and I know I’ve found the perfect one right here!”

“...WHAT?!?” 

As the world around him starts to blur, Marinette slips her hand into his and squeezes, shooting him a fond, amused grin. “You’re going to do great, Felix. I’ll see you on stage.” She presses her lips to his cheek, soft, warm, and… the scene fades to black to the sound of cheering.

[quirkwizard]

Top 15 Strongest Quirks

What is the most powerful? This question that has plagued the anime community for generations of fans. From the olden days of Dragonball, to the modern works of Dragon Ball Super. So, in celebration of 1500 followers, I thought I would try to form my own list of what I believe are that best of the best in terms of Quirks. But before I begin, some ground rules for this list:

-I am taking the Quirk as they are at their base with the average user. “Decay” might be able to destroy entire cities, but it couldn't do that at the start, hence why it is not on this list.

-I am keeping personal biases out of this as much as possible. If I think a Quirk is strong enough to be on this list, it is on here, regardless of my like or dislike of the Quirk itself.

-I am taking everything into account about the Quirks when writing this. So it’s not just a competition of what Quirk can blow stuff up the best or which Quirk beats another Quirk. It’s everything the Quirk is capable of and what is holding it back.

With all of that in mind, here is what I believe are the Top 15 Strongest Quirks in My Hero Academia.

15. Creation

The user has the ability to make non-living items from their body. With that description on it’s own, it is easily one of the most versatile abilities in the series. Being able to create anything you want from your body, pulling out whatever tools or items whenever the situation calls for it. The user could fulfill whatever role was needed of them, making medical supplies in one hand and a canon in the other. And all of it’s based around having fat cells to burn, a resource that is very easy to gain and is hard to burn through the point of being dangerous.

So why is at the lowest spot on this list? That would be what I think is the biggest drawback. The user has to learn everything they can about what they are making, down to the atomic configuration. No matter what you are trying to make, it’s going to take a lot of brain power to use this Quirk at all, let alone effectively. The thing is that most people aren’t going to be smart enough to take full advantage of the Quirk. It isn’t only helped by someone as smart as Momo, it needs someone as smart as Momo to be used to the best of its ability. However, I still feel like someone could still take advantage of it even if they weren’t smart, which I think is a testament to the Quirk’s abilities.

14. Meatball

While many rightly retch at the idea of this Quirk, I think that can distract from just how good it is. Just the idea of manipulating any and all raw flesh just has so many interesting and varied uses. I went over how much could be done with it before now, so I won’t go into detail here, but lets just say I think there are plenty of ways it could be applied given what we were shown the Quirk is capable of. Even if we were to judge it by it’s one showing, it’s still a pretty great ability to have, able to completely subdue an opponent from a range. That and scare the life out of anyone else.

But what keeps it so low on the list is how much the Quirk works against itself. It’s all about manipulating flesh off of the user’s body, leaving them without their body parts and much more open than before. What makes it even worse is that the user can still feel everything their body is going through, even if they are removed from it, making any usage of it much harder because people can easily damage it. And having it all be based around concentration is just the icing on the cake. It just leaves the user too open, causing them to spread themselves out too far. I still think it is a great Quirk, just not good enough to break into the top ten.

13. Dark Shadow

One of the more unique Quirks in the series, “Dark Shadow” offers a lot of strange abilities. Not only does it make it so the user always has a second ally to watch their back, but it’s malleable nature make it so it can be used in all kinds of fun ways like making armor around the user, making it slither between small cracks to get around, or even using it to fly. And that’s before it starts getting dark. Even during its weakened form in the light, it’s still a strong fighter that can keep the distance between the opponent and the user. And it’s just going to keep getting stronger when it gets dark.

But the problem with that is, when it is at its most powerful, Dark Shadow is an uncontrollable mess, completely acting outside of the user’s control. It’s strong, yes, but that kind of power is next to useless if the user cannot rein it in. The user might as well be a passenger, watching as their Quirk mindlessly destroys everything around it and hope it doesn’t break something the user doesn’t want it to. But the bigger issue is the weakness to light and reliance on what time of day it is. One is really easy for an enemy to take advantage of and the other the user has zero control over. And if Dark Shadow is beaten back too much and retreats in the user, they might as well be Quirkless.

12. Hellflame

A Quirk with a dangerously appropriate name, “Hellflame” was an obvious pick for this list. Ranging anywhere between regular flames to searing white hot fire. In terms of raw destructive power, it’s certainly one of the best in the series. And unlike a lot of other Quirks with a focus on offensive uses, Endeavor seems to show a significant amount of control over his flames. Again, power without control is next to pointless, so having that kind of sway over the fire really means a lot. Plus the user can fly with their Quirk, which is always a major bonus.

Why it’s not any higher is because of two reasons. One, it’s still a pretty big risk to use this Quirk. Not only does it heavily hinder the user’s body, slowing Enji down greatly when it was pushed in a fight, but the user cannot control the fire they make, potentially leading to some serious damages. Second, there isn’t really a lot of uses for the Quirk. The user can fly and they can burn stuff. If not that, they can burn more stuff. You can make slight changes to how you burn things, but you can’t do much else other than burning. It’s all offense all the time and if I was only judging by offensive power, it would certainly be a lot higher. While limited in its application, it still has more than reason to be on this list.

11. Compress

Man, if this Quirk got on the list it must be pretty marblelous. But seriously, safely shrinking down objects can have a lot of applications both fun and powerful, whether that be as a whole or selectively. And going by the biggest thing the Quirk was used on, a boulder that was larger then a police car, there are a lot of things the Quirk can be used on without any damages to the target in question. The user can quickly hide and transport whatever they can get their hands on, hiding objects that no would would expect to come out of such small orbs. It gives them a lot of creative freedom as far as uses go.

And if push comes to shove, the user can always tear people apart by compressing them into pieces, bypassing defenses. Though it can still be breached from the outside, as seen with Aoyama, limiting it’s capturing ability. But it’s big issue is that it isn’t very outwardly powerful, relying a lot on the user being smart enough with it to apply it properly. Another is that, while effective in what it does, the Quirk itself is rather limited. It can store objects and damage targets via selective storage. While those in of themselves are highly applicable, they still are somewhat limited, making me hesitate to put it any higher on the list.

10. Earth Flow

“Earth Flow” is really one of those abilities that gets overlooked by everyone. Which is a shame since it is such a powerful Quirk. Not only because earth is everywhere, giving the user one of the most widely available substances to control, but earth is such as a malleable solid that it can be used in plenty of ways. Making walls to defend themselves, crushing people under a wave of earth, or using that control to make Earth Beasts. She doesn’t even need to be touching in directly, as seen when she was trying to fend off the decay wave and even when she was able to control her Earth Beasts from afar. 

It’s such a versatile ability, only complimented by the abundance of the resource the user can control.  The only real problem here is that the earth itself is pretty weak, falling apart after a few attacks. Now while that may not seem like as big of an issue with the average person, considering that most people in the series have some kind of ability that could destroy or hinder the earth takes away some of its menace a bit. I mean the UA students were able to tear through them, with even a lot of the weaker students being able to take them down. Sure they had a little hero training, but it’s still something to note given the Quirk’s performance.

9. Flight

Another often forget Quirk in the fandom, that does not stop “Flight” from earning a deserving spot on this list. Allowing the user to fly around completely unhindered, a massive advantage in any kind of situation, what makes it even better is how the user flies. By forming a barrier around the user that it allows them to fly, it grants the user a lot of protection, both while flying and from damage as a whole. They can even spread it to others, protecting them and flying around. It’s certainly a good Quirk, but it is rather limited, just giving it a lot of mobility and defensive options. I almost didn’t even put it on the list.

And then I realized something: “Flight” has next to no real weaknesses. Sure, the barrier weakens whenever the user wants to spread it out to something else, but that’s hardly enough to really be that common of an issue since it can still allow the user to fly and protection the without any real problems. Even when it was spread out, it could still protect the user extremely well, able to keep Captain Celebrity safe from an onslaught of bombers while he was holding up an entire building. So the user could just enjoy the use of this Quirk full time with no real issues, hence why it is so much farther up on the list. 

8. Black Hole

Surprising no one, the ability to make a black hole at the tips of your fingers makes it on the list of the strongest Quirks. Even if it is quite a simple ability on paper, one cannot deny the sheer destructive force that the Quirk can bring as an overwhelming vacuum of death. It’s not even like you have to touch someone to use it like you do with other deadly Quirks. The power to create a devastating vacuum is literally at the user’s finger tips, not even needing to get that close in order to completely eviscerate someone at the atomic level. 

Now most people would put a Quirk like this much higher on their lists. But I’m still trying to take everything into account. That being said, there isn’t much else to the Quirk. It’s got destructive power in spades, but that only means so much, not really being to branch out from that limited scope. It also has the same problem I mention before about power being next to meaningless if someone cannot control it. Not so much that the Quirk is a threat to the user, just that the Quirk is a threat against everything else. 

7. Manifest

The big thing that puts “Manifest” on the list is the number of things the user can do with it. As long as the user eats something, they can apply it to anywhere on their body, having it seemingly scale up to their size. That just opens up so many possible ways to use it since the Tamaki doesn’t even seem limited to regular food. As long as he can eat it and stomach it, he can use it with his Quirk. The user can even combine traits together, as seen with Tamaki and his coconut-octupus fingers, making for even greater potential uses. 

And unlike other Quirks, it’s much easier to use and is far more reliable in comparison. All the user needs to do is eat something, even if it is only a small sample of it, and they can use it up to twenty four hours. So as long as the user is eating at all, they should reasonably have something they can take advantage of. However, while it is one of the most multifaceted abilities on this list, it is lacking a lot in raw power, mostly relying on the user’s own competence and whatever is around them at the time to carry them through a battle. Regardless, it’s still a great ability that anyone would be lucky to have.

6. Whirlwind

It’s hard to explain this one because of how obvious the reasoning of why "Whirlwind” is on here. The user can control air, something that is always around us. You would legitimately have to go out of your way to find a place without air. Even if we just go by the little we’ve seen of it, I still would put it on the list at this high. Inasa has such amazing control over the battlefield, able to push people and objects around with his power. That’s not even mentioning how he can enhance his body, pushing himself around and flying forward, another major advantage of the Quirk.

It’s not even like the air itself is weak, easily able to carry around people, or that the user lacks control, easily controlling the currents to move said people safely. The biggest reason why it isn’t any higher is because its a Quirk that focuses a lot on offense and mobility. It does both of those extremely well, but it’s lack of defensive options make the user a glass cannon. It’s actually similar to “Hellflame”, ironically enough. The main difference here is that the user has a lot more control and an easier to work around weakness, putting it a higher spot on the list. In spite of it’s lack of panel time, I am more than confident that “Whirlwind” earns its placement.

5. All For One/One For All

Out of all of the Quirks I put on this list, this was the one I worried about the most. I’m sure if most people were doing this list, they would put these two at the top spot or spots one and two respectively. I know most would put “All For One” over “One For All”, but I’d say they are about even. In spite of its growing power, “One For All” has always been seemingly able to keep ground with “All For One”. “One For All” can travel between host, able to pass on the memories and powers of the previous hosts, giving them a great wellspring of power to work from. “All For One” can steal Quirks from other people, able to pass them onto other people or apply the Quirks to their own body, capable of handling multiple Quirks at the same time.

Here’s the thing though: both of these Quirks are similar in that they need a lot of time to build up power. “One For All” is indeed an amazing Quirk, but it needs to be passed on between person to person, slowing gaining power as it travels between its hosts. “All For One” can take Quirks from other people, but we don’t know the process of that what else the Quirk is capable of. If I was ranking Quirks by how we see them in the series, these two would definitely be at the top. But I’m ranking the Quirks at their base with an average user. You need to remember that both of these Quirks needed over two hundred years to get to the level of power they have now. Not only is that extremely unfair to other Quirks but, in most cases, the user won’t be able to reap the benefits of it. However, I cannot deny the extreme potential both of these Quirks offer.

4. Half Hot Half Cold

Basically just being two Quirks in one, one of which might as well be another “Hellflame”, “Half Hot Half Cold” has more than enough reason to be on the list by that descriptor alone. But luckily, it has plenty to bring to the table on it’s own. With the ice offering a large amount of defense, the fire granting a dangerous amount of power, and both sides giving the user superb mobility, it really is a Quirk that can cover any role the user wishes. This matched with it’s stunningly large area of effect turns the user into an elemental powerhouse.

And unlike other Quirks of this caliber, Shoto has been shown to have a fine control over the ice and fire itself, ranging from large attacks like freezing over half a stadium or place ice over a comparatively smaller spot like someone’s leg. But what makes it one of the best is how the Quirk counters itself. It’s the only real example where the Quirk can prevent its own weakness, able to remove any icing over or overheating the user will have to deal with. Honestly, the only reason why this Quirk isn’t higher on the list is because I just think the Quirks above it are better.

3. Warp Gate

Being able to open portals is inherently powerful ability its own, instantly moving around wherever the user wishes. Being made of smoke is just another layer of powerful. The user is hands down one of the most valuable assets on the battlefield, easily moving people in all sorts of ways. With how the Quirk is a vapor that the user controls, it can easily cover a lot ground at a rapid rate, spreading themselves out over anywhere they are needed. And it’s major weakness about knowing coordinates is easy to deal with considering how easy that information is to learn and that the user can still apply the Quirk as long as they are within line of sight.

To top it all off, the user is effectively intangible, able to counter almost any attack that comes their way by either letting it teleport through their fog or just redirect it back at the person who attack them. It’s highly versatile ability with a lot of uses behind it, making it difficult justifying it at any number lower than three. Though it’s not without its flaws. Again, like “Manifest”, it lacks a lot of direct power. It’s a Quirk that relies more on the other person messing up rather then the user taking the initiative or having allies around that can take advantage of the portals. Plus it can be pretty slow in terms of actual use given how Kurogiri needs some set up to use his Quirk properly.

From threatening to cut enemies in half through closing portals, to relocating people to convenient positions, to making a quick escape when this go awry, this Quirk can cover plenty of ground.

2. Rewind

No surprise that this Quirk is so high. The only real surprise for many of you is that it is not number one. With something as nebulous as “reverting people to a previous state”, it gives a wide range of usage for the Quirk to work with. Everything from healing injuries like they were never there or even erasing someone from existence. In theory, the user could even undo any mistakes they did with the Quirk. It’s not wonder that it’s considered such a powerful ability, both in the series and in the fandom,  

For starters, the massive control problem the Quirk has certainly is an issue, making all the amazing uses of the Quirk next to impossible to use properly because of how the Quirk can get out of control. And I don’t think that’s a case of Eri’s age. A lot kids her age seems to have great control over of their Quirk, so that’s something that likely apart of the Quirk. The use of the Quirk also seems to put a heavy toll on the user, something people don’t seem to talk about, leaving Eri hospitalized after using it on Izuku.  However, I cannot deny the power and usefulness of such an ability, 

1. Overhaul

Anyone who has been on the blog for long enough should not be surprised at this being number one. This Quirk has power, both in how it much it can do for the user at its base ability and how it can be applied. Being able to reshape matter, taking it apart and putting it back with such fine detail, opens a lot of doors in how it can be used. The user just has so much control over everything they can get their hands on, to the point where it is crazy to even think about.  That’s not even mentioning how the user can just erase someone with a single touch, turning them into a fine paste on the wall.

And what’s the big drawback of this Quirk? The user needs to be touching whatever they want to use the Quirk on. The power to dissemble and reassemble any solid matter in any way the user wishes, including people, is only limited by the fact it is based around the user’s hands. And what makes it so much better a lot of other Quirks on this list is that the user has complete control over the process, able to selectively remove parts they don’t want, to the point where they can bring back someone they just murdered in pristine condition. It’s not trading out power for control because the user has both in excess. And that’s not even getting into the crazier stuff like fusing people or bringing back the recently dead. 

[lunetheaveragefan]

‘one day...’

Hey y’all! This chapter was supposed to be posted last Monday but last week was so busy for me and I forgot. So finally, here is chapter 7! Chapter 8 was supposed to be posted next week, but I’m going to continue with my typical two week schedule so I don’t forget again! Hope you enjoy!

A Sander Sides high school AU

Pairing: Prinxiety and some background Logicality

Summary: Virgil is used to being alone. He only has one friend, Logan. But when Logan makes a new friend, things begin to change as two more join their group. Roman, a boisterous theater kid, seems determined to destroy Virgil’s lonely, average life. How much will Virgil’s life change?

Warnings: swearing; brief mention of a panic attack; eating; if you notice anything else, let me know!

Word Count: 2557 words

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CHAPTER SEVEN

Virgil exits the auditorium with Patton and Logan, grinning.

“He did so good!” Patton exclaims. Before either of the others have a chance to respond, Patton continues, “It was like he was a completely different person! Here, let’s go congratulate him!” Virgil and Logan follow Patton down a few crowded hallways, weaving in and out of people talking to other members of the cast. 

“Roman!” Patton yells, waving his arms. Virgil catches sight of Roman, stepping out of a set of heavy doors. Behind him, it’s dark, but Virgil can make out a folding table and the edges of black curtains. Backstage. Then, a group of people walk in front of them, and Virgil loses sight of Roman.

Without hesitation, Patton grabs Logan’s hand and begins to shove people aside, muttering a few cheerful ‘Excuse me’s and ‘Sorry’s. Before Virgil has a chance to get a hold of Logan, they’re lost in the crowd. 

Well, what the heck do I do now? Virgil wonders, chuckling softly. A hand brushes his arm at the same time a voice says, “Hey. Where are the others?”

After seeing who it is, Virgil laughs and answers, “They went to look for you.” Roman slaps his forehead with his palm, uttering a sound that’s half-sigh, half-laugh. He rises up to his toes, straining to look over people’s heads.

“This same goddamn thing happens every year. You would think we’d learn by now.” Roman looks back down at Virgil, and at the very second he does, Virgil sees Patton pop up above the rest of the crowd. Pointing so Roman will see, Virgil waves his other hand to catch Patton’s attention. It works, and Roman grabs Virgil’s hand, causing his heart to skip a beat. 

After a lot of pushing and shoving, the two of them reach Patton and Logan, standing pressed up against the wall next to a chair. So that’s how Patton got so tall all of a sudden. The second Patton sees them, he starts to gush about the performance.

“That was so good, Roman!” Patton exclaims clapping his hands in glee. He bounces on the balls of his feet, a wide smile spread across his face. “We all loved it and we’re so proud of you and it sounded so good and I think Virgil might’ve even been crying—” Virgil blushes when Roman looks at him with a shocked expression—“I’m not sure I couldn’t see through my own tears. But for real it was so good, like, I can’t even believe it was put on by high schoolers—” Logan places a hand on Patton’s shoulder. The action confirms to Virgil that Logan definitely has some sort of crush on Patton; Logan never really touches anyone in any way, with the occasional exception of Virgil. 

“Sorry,” Patton says, grinning sheepishly. Roman chuckles and looks at Patton, appreciation covering his face.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you came. All of you.” Roman’s smile at him, although no more than a few seconds, makes butterflies erupt in Virgil’s stomach. He smiles back hesitantly, an intense debate going on in his head.

C’mon, tell him how much you liked it! one side says. 

No! He won’t think it’s sincere. He’ll just figure you’re copying Patton, the other says back. 

Maybe he will take it seriously! Maybe then you’ll have a better chance with him!

Better chance? You don’t actually like him, do you?

Of course he does! The butterflies, dreams, that’s the only logical conclusion!

Shut up, Virgil interrupts. I’ll tell him good job, but as a friend. Because I don’t like him. He’s still Roman Princeford. Have you all forgotten what happened freshman year? That ends the argument in its tracks. He gathers his courage, a rolling knot of apprehension twisting in his stomach.

“Yeah, it was really good, Roman,” Virgil compliments. “Although, Patton, you didn’t need to freaking snitch on me and how I was crying.” Patton shrugs, like ‘What can you do?’ Virgil chuckles, shaking his head. 

“Wait, you were actually crying?” Roman asks. When Virgil turns back to look at Roman, he bursts out laughing at his face. It’s filled with complete and utter shock, eyes wide, mouth in a small, disbelieving ‘o’ shape. It seems so much like a face a cartoon character would make that Virgil can’t control his laughter. “What?”

“Your—Your face—” Virgil manages between wheezes. Roman punches Virgil in the arm.

“Stop. That’s not nice.” His words sound angry, but he’s smiling and his tone — and punch — are light. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Virgil says, taking deep breaths to hold the laughter in. “It was just so comically shocked. But yes. I did actually cry. And don’t seem so surprised this time.” 

“Honestly, your laugh was more surprising. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like that. It’s a nice sound,” Roman admits, his face filled with something that seems awfully close to adoration. But then he blinks, and his smile is just an ordinary, million-dollar, Roman Princeford smile. It wouldn’t matter if he said it with contempt, because the compliment would’ve still sent a flood of warmth through Virgil. His heart is racing, but this time, not out of panic. 

Tearing his eyes away from Roman and trying to inconspicuously grit his teeth, which is no easy feat, Virgil thinks, What is going on? It’s just a compliment. It’s not like you have a crush on him or anything. 

“Anyway,” Roman starts, addressing the whole group, “I better go find my parents so they can fawn over me like I’m next Lin-Manuel Miranda or Leslie Odom Jr.” Upon seeing everyone’s blank looks, his eyes widen and he says, “Hamilton stars? Only some of the best singers to ever step foot on Broadway? Voices like goddamn angels who can, for some reason, also rap?” When everyone shakes their head, he sighs. “I swear, you guys must be living under a rock. But anyway, Imma head out. We’ll meet by door 10 at, say, 9:00, for the sleepover?” 

Patton and Logan nod their heads and immediately start talking to each other, Patton’s hands moving animatedly.

“Sleepover?” Virgil asks. 

“Yeah, Patton and I have a tradition where after every show or any big event with one of our activities, we have a sleepover. Even if it went terribly. He didn’t tell you?” Virgil shakes his head. Roman smiles and continues, “Well, you won’t want to miss it. Door 10 at 9, got it?” Once Virgil gives him confirmation, Roman turns and disappears into the crowd.

Virgil stares after him, a strange feeling welling up inside him. And this time, when the possibility of a crush comes up in his thoughts, he doesn’t dismiss it immediately. 

------------------

Virgil sits against Roman’s wall, an excessive amount of pillows behind his back, wrapped in a blanket like a burrito, a comparison that Patton has already, unfortunately, made.

“I still cannot comprehend how you possibly require this immense amount of pillows,” Logan persists. He can’t stop marveling over how many pillows Roman has on his bed. It’s about the 4th time he’s mentioned it.

“Logan, dude, just let it go,” Virgil chuckles, throwing the stuffed bear next to him. It hits Logan, who’s sitting on the floor, square in the side of his head. He opens his mouth to protest, but Roman interrupts him.

“Hey, don’t throw King Snuffles. He doesn’t deserve this abuse.” Roman leans over to pick the bear off the floor. Cradling it in his arms, he glares at Virgil. 

“You named your bear King Snuffles?” Virgil questions, not all that surprised. Roman gasps and fakes being offended.

“Yes,” he replies, his voice scandalized. “And what the hell of it?” Virgil puts his hands up in surrender.

“Woah. Nothing, I guess, if you’re going to get so defensive about it.” He pulls the blanket, which fell down when he put up his hands, back around him. There’s too much on his head, so it falls in front of his face. Before he can reach up to push it up, a hand does it for him. Roman smiles at him, patting his head after setting the blanket there. Virgil rolls his eyes.

He hopes the yellow-orange LED lights and the shadows from the blanket hide the blush creeping across his cheeks. 

“I’m hungry so I’m gonna head and get snacks,” Roman announces, turning and sling his legs over the edge of the bed to stand. Patton bolts to his feet. 

“No, no, I’ll do it,” he says, clearly up to something. “And Logan will come with me.” 

“Well, actually—” Logan begins. Patton elbows him, and he changes course. “I guess I’m going with.” On their way out, Patton gives Roman an exaggerated wink. Roman, in lieu of a response, gives him an exasperated, I’m-so-done kind of look. Virgil can’t say for sure, but when Roman looks back at him, he thinks Roman’s blushing.

“So…” Roman starts, biting his lip and fidgeting with his fingers. Virgil’s never seen him look this unsure. He’s used to a confident, brash, slightly egotistical Roman. To his surprise, he almost prefers this side of Roman. 

Virgil must lose his mind for a little, because he’s definitely not acting like himself when he suggests, “Pillow fight?” and right after, grabs a pillow and flings it at Roman, whacking him in the face. 

A borderline-evil smile appears on Romans face as he says, “Oh, you’re on.” Virgil’s senses pick that exact moment to come back, but he can’t take it back now. So he does the only thing he can do: slings the pillow again. Chaos erupts, and a Virgil verse Roman pillow fight begins. 

As he throws and gets hit by pillows, Virgil laughs and yells, heart pounding, breathing in quick bursts, but this feels better than panic attacks. Happiness. It’s something Virgil doesn’t feel a whole lot since he spends most of his life stuck in a state of anxiety. It’s nice to be happy again.

He’s so lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t notice the pillow coming towards him until it slaps him in the face. Virgil falls backwards, head landing, conveniently, on a pillow. He sits up and hits Roman with it, and they’re at it again. 

When Roman starts to fall off the bed, Virgil starts to laugh. But then he realizes that somehow, they’d gotten tangled in a blanket, and if Roman is going down, Virgil will too. Shrieking in surprise, Virgil instinctively closes his eyes as he’s yanked off the bed. A pillow hits the back of his head once he’s landed. He laughs and opens his eyes to see Roman directly under him. There’s no doubt about it now; Roman is definitely blushing. For that matter, so is Virgil. 

There’s also no way Virgil can deny his crush anymore. But that doesn’t mean he has to deal with it, right? ...Right...

Desperate to put an end to the awkwardness, Virgil stands and offers his hand to Roman. He takes it and pulls himself to his feet. They make eye contact for a second before Virgil looks down at his hands. I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d kissed him. 

Nope, nope, nope. Not gonna think about that. Don’t have to deal with that, remember?

“I, uh, wonder what’s taking Patton and Logan so long with the snacks,” Roman finally says, breaking the tense silence. Virgil wants to sigh in relief. 

Instead, he simply responds, “I’m not sure. Let’s go see.” They walk to the landing of the stairs. Strangely, there isn’t any sound coming from the kitchen. After walking down the first few steps, Virgil can see into the room. What he sees should come as a surprise, but it really doesn’t.

Apparently, trying to set up Roman and Virgil wasn’t the only reason why Patton wanted Logan to come with. Logan is pressed up against the counter, hand wrapped around Patton’s waist as they kiss. Patton’s palms hold Logan’s face, tilting it down to account for the inches Logan has on him. 

Roman, standing right behind Virgil, mutters, “Okay. Okay then.” Virgil starts to laugh but forces himself to stop so Logan or Patton don’t hear. Carefully, they creep back to the bedroom, letting them have their moment.

“So how long do you think that’s been going on for?” Roman asks once they’re back sitting on his bed, Virgil back to being wrapped up in his blanket cocoon again.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Virgil admits. “I kinda figured Logan had a crush on Patton, but I didn’t think they would actually get together, at least not this soon.”

“Yeah ever since their chemistry project, Patton's been crushing on Logan hard. He doesn’t shut up about it. Apparently,” Roman says, leaning in conspiratorially, “they’ve been talking a lot. Patton’s been so tired lately cuz they’re up til, like, 1 AM, video chatting.”  

“That is news to me.” Virgil pauses, staring at the door. The two of them sit in silence for a while — comfortable silence — just waiting for Patton and Logan to reappear with the snacks they were supposed to be bringing. After about 10 more minutes, Virgil turns to Roman and asks, “Do you think I should call them up? They’ve been down there for an awful long time.”

“Yeah. The last thing I want is for them to have sex on my kitchen counter.” Virgil winces at the image that appears in his head at the words.

After Roman yells down to Logan and Patton, Virgil says, “Oh, god. Please never say anything like that again. I do not need that image in my head.” Roman laughs. 

“An image of what?” Patton asks, walking in the room with Logan not far behind. Thankfully, they had the decency to pretend like they weren’t just making out. But Patton didn’t have so much decency to pretend like he hadn’t been eavesdropping on their conversation. They drop a few Halloween-size, assorted candy bulk bags and two big bowls of popcorn on the bed. 

“Nothing,” Virgil answers, grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it in his mouth. “Ooh, Sour Patch Kids.” He grabs four individual bags of them and drops them in his lap. 

“Jeez, hungry much?” Roman teases. Virgil flips him off and takes another handful of popcorn. Roman tries to sneakily grab a handful of mini bars from the bag of chocolate-based candy, but Virgil notices.

“Jeez, hypocritical much?” he quips, smirking. 

“Oh, fuck off,” Roman responds, sticking his tongue out like a little kid. Virgil sticks his out right back. Patton, who, unsurprisingly, hates swearing, quickly attempts to change the subject.

“Hey, I have an idea! Let’s play Two Truths, One Lie! Then we can get to know each other better!” he suggests. The rest of them agree, and Patton goes first. They take turns, occasionally sharing stories and facts about themselves. And when they get bored of Two Truths, One Lie, they switch to Truth or Dare, and Virgil has to eat a spoonful of mayo.

Patton’s the first to fall asleep. Not long after, around 2 AM, Roman and Logan follow. Virgil sits wrapped in his blanket cocoon in the darkened bedroom. He stares out the window at the dim stars, thinking about how lucky he is. He has three great friends who he can make memories and laugh with.

He turns to look at Roman, asleep on the bed beside him. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, “for surprising me.”

[spacebatisluvd]

Summary: Neither Sea Hawk nor Entrapta know how kidnapping works.

Content warning: Sea Hawk (being a complete drama king), Mermista (being rather aggressive), and some light-hearted ‘bondage’ that is not at all sexual.

-

Hordak walked around the base of the structure, studying the completed building. “Which team was responsible for this?” he asked the supervisor trailing behind him.

“Team Four.”

He nodded. “This is excellent work. They should be commended for their efforts.”

The woman froze. “I...what?”

Hordak glanced at her before resuming his inspection. “They have performed well. That should be acknowledged.” He paused, realizing he could be overstepping. “I know I do not have any authority here. Consider it a suggestion.”

“I...I’ll make a note of that,” she said, sounding unsure of herself.

He nodded, finished with his inspection. “What’s the next—?”

”Hey!”

They both turned, watching Mermista stalk toward them. The woman behind him paled immediately and bowed low. “Princess, it is an—“

Mermista ignored her, jabbing a finger at Hordak. “Where is he?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sea Hawk—where. is. he?”

Hordak‘s ears folded back. “I was not aware I was meant to be watching him.”

“Funny.”

He crossed his arms. “That was not—“

Mermista stepped close, and in the distance, the ocean crashed. “Don’t play games with me; just tell me what you did and maybe I’ll go easy on you.”

He cocked his head. “I am not ‘playing games’. You are unable to find him?”

She looked him over. “You really don’t...?” Turning away, she swore under her breath and stormed off. 

“Princess?”

“Forget it,” she snapped, never breaking stride. 

Frowning, he turned toward the other woman. “We will continue this later.”

He started to follow Mermista, but the woman said, “Sir?” He turned, and she stepped toward him, eyeing Mermista with caution. “Be careful. The Princess doesn’t like you very much.”

He huffed. “I am aware.” Her gaze darted from him to Mermista, and he sighed. “Your concern is noted. Carry on without me. I will return later.” She said nothing, and he turned away, catching up to Mermista by walking briskly. “The two of you were meant to leave for Plumeria today.” He and Entrapta were not the only ones Perfuma had invited to her Kingdom. “He seemed excited. I do not think he would wander off.”

She glared at him, trying to walk faster, but his long stride made it easy to keep up. Seeing that this tactic wasn’t working, she tried another. “Why do you care?”

“I do not. Where have you looked for him?”  

“I didn’t ask for your help.”

”I did not offer it. Does he have anyone that would want to harm—?“ He huffed, realizing that was a stupid question. “Who has the most cause to harm him?”

“Shut up! Just—shut up!” She rounded on him, hands balled into fists at her sides. Abruptly, she forced herself out of her pugilistic stance, crossing her arms and looking away. “Whatever. He’s Sea Hawk. He’s probably just...setting a ship on fire or something.”

Hordak’s ears folded back. “Why would he do that?”

She threw up her hands and groaned aloud. “I don’t know—because he’s Sea Hawk. Stop pretending you care! I’m not going to fall for it!”

He cocked his head, ears still back. “What?”

“Drop the act—I know you’re just using him.”

Hordak huffed. “Don’t be ridiculous. Sea Hawk is entirely useless.”

“So you expect me to believe you actually like spending time with him?” Water began to leech from the ground, forming small pools around him. He watched the puddles form, then shifted to regard her more warily. “Maybe you can fool Entrapta, but—“

“What?!”

“I said—maybe you can trick Entrapta into thinking you’re her ‘friend’, but you can’t trick me. And I won’t let you hurt her or Sea Hawk, got it?”

He could hear his hearts hammering in his ears, the sound distractingly loud. Everything seemed to slow down. His hands curled, and his breathing felt tight. The nerves along his scalp prickled, and he couldn’t find the words to deny her—he was just too angry to speak.

For once, he was glad to be weaponless; at the moment, he wouldn’t trust himself with one.

Misunderstanding the source of his anger, Mermista sneered. “Oh, yeah. I know exactly what you’re doing. Geek Princess knows tech, but she doesn’t know people. Someone like you was bound to take advantage of that sooner or later. Is that how you got her to switch sides? Playing with her feelings? Making her think you care about her? People like you don’t care about anyone. You only care about yourself, and how to use other people for your own ends.”

“You know nothing,” he finally managed to snap. His claws bit into his palms, and he flexed his fingers open to keep from hurting himself. A not insignificant part of him longed to feel the chill of water wrapping around his torso; it would be a good excuse to fight back, to lash out. He held himself in check, though, remembering the treaty—remembering too that Entrapta would be disappointed in him if he hurt one of her supposed ‘friends’.

“I know you’ve got some kind of plan in mind, and—“

Both of them jumped when Mermista’s communicator started to go off. She did something strange with her hand—first pointing to her face, index and middle fingers spread, then pointing to him. His ears pulled back in annoyance and confusion. Glaring, she pulled up her communicator and turned her back on him in obvious dismissal. He growled softly, even as he resisted the urge to show her why that was a bad idea. Determined to ignore her, he started to walk away, until he heard—“Hi, Mermista! You remember when I asked if I could borrow Hordak for a few days so I could take him to the Flower Festival, right?”

“Entrapta?” he asked, ears pricked.

Mermista glared at him, but answered Entrapta, “Yeah? What of it?”

“I’m no longer asking!” Hordak’s ears twitched. He walked up behind Mermista; his height made it easy for him to peer over her head. Seeing him, Entrapta beamed. “Hi, Hordak! I’m kidnapping you.”

“What?” he and Mermista asked at the same time. They glared at each other. Ears back, Hordak cleared his throat and focused on the communicator. “Entrapta, I....” He huffed. “You cannot kidnap me. That would break the peace treaty and could have serious ramifications for your nation’s alliance with Salineas. They’re an important trade partner. You cannot risk such a thing for what amounts to a short vacation.”

“Oh. Well. That’s gonna make this really awkward....”

As if on queue, Sea Hawk appeared on the screen. He raised a dramatic hand to his forehead. “Oh, woe! Woe is me! I have been captured!” He bent backwards, supported only by a rope of Entrapta’s hair. “Please, my love—you must concede to her demands! Who knows what this villain is capable of...even if she isn’t dressed like one.”

“I think overalls are really an all-purpose outfit.”

He just sighed heavily. “Woe! Woe is me—kidnapped by a villain with no sense of style, which is honestly worse than the kidnapping itself.”

”They can be evil overalls,” she offered helpfully. 

Mermista groaned. “Sea Hawk, I’ve been looking for you all morning. Where are you?”

Hordak cocked his head. “Entrapta, I do not understand.”  

“Oh, it’s really very simple. When Mermista said you couldn’t come to Plumeria with me, Sea Hawk called, and—“

Sea Hawk jumped into action, grabbing hold of the communicator. “She is devious! She lured me into her web, like some sort of devilish spider! I was captured! Caught! Please, my love, you must meet her demands—or else!”

“Oh—right,” Entrapta said. “Absolutely. That is exactly what happened.” She winked, and Hordak pressed his fingertips to his forehead, sighing.

Mermista groaned. “Ugh. You cannot be serious. Please tell me you’re not doing this.”

“I’m afraid this is a matter of deadly seriousness, my love! You must meet us at the docks in half an hour—“

“Oh, make it one hour. So Hordak has time to pack.”

“Right! Of course.” He cleared his throat. “You must meet us at the docks in one hour; who knows what terrors she has in store for me!”

Entrapta waved. “Bye! Remember to pack comfortable clothes.”

He cocked his head, ears back, even as he waved hesitantly. The communicator shut off, and Mermista groaned aloud, the sound long and drawn out. She spun to glare at him. “What did you do?” she snapped.

“I had no part in this farce!”

“Obviously! This has ‘Sea Hawk’ written all over it, but he’s only doing it because he likes you, and I don’t get it! You’re—ugh!” She gestured to him and sneered.

“Entrapta will not harm him.”

“I know that!”

“You misunderstand—I mean that Entrapta will not harm him if you don’t bring me to her.”

“Yeah, and if I don’t, now suddenly I’m the bad guy for ruining his fun.”

His ears folded back, and he cocked his head. “Sea Hawk is very...fond of you. Yet you do not seem particularly fond of him.”

She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. Her hands clenched closed, then she exhaled slowly and flexed her them open again. “Shut up. What do you know about relationships?”

“I don’t pretend to know anything. It was just an observation.”

“Yeah, well, go observe something else.”

“Happily.”

He rejoined the builders and resumed his work. Mermista could sort out Sea Hawk, and he was confident that Entrapta would seek him out when everything was settled. They could not go to Plumeria together, but she’d said she was amenable to staying with him in Salineas for a while.

A little over an hour later, though, he was drawn from his current project by the sound of shouting. He immediately ran toward the screaming, expecting to find a half-collapsed building or the results of an errant explosion. He did not expect to find Entrapta’s mech from Beast Island running rampant through the construction site, while workers scattered before her like seals before an orca. “What is that?” one of the crew asked, defensively raising a metal pipe despite her shaking hands.

“Stand down,” he said, “That is Bethany, one of Entrapta’s companions. She is not here to harm anyone. Just keep out of her way; I imagine she’s looking for me.”

He started toward her, and one of the workers grabbed his arm—dropping it immediately when he glared at him. “You’re sure it’s safe?”

Hordak’s ears twitched. “I did not say that she was safe.” Bethany could sometimes become overexcited, and she often forgot her own strength. “Remain here, and you will be fine. It’s me she wants.”

He walked away from the group, directing others to keep clear as he approached. As soon as Bethany noticed him, she sprinted in his direction, powerful front legs kicking up dust and dirt. He stood still, watching as she corrected her trajectory by leaping overhead when she realized she was going too fast to stop without colliding with him. He turned to face her as she landed, dust hazing the air. She walked toward him at a more sedate pace and knelt as the dust settled, tilting her head so he could reach up to scratch her ‘ear’. Her engine rumbled as he did, and her  ‘mouth’ fell open, but Entrapta was not inside. His ears folded back. “Bethany, where is Entrap—ta?!”

She snapped him up, enclosing him in her cramped cockpit. He blinked, reorienting himself and twisting into an acceptable position. Comfort would not be possible in such a confined space. He toggled her controls, but her autopilot was engaged and the controls were locked. He could unlock them, if he wanted. Bethany’s design was rather primitive in some ways, and many of her controls could be hacked relatively easily. However, he saw no reason to offend her when he suspected he knew where she was taking him. He settled in to wait out the bumpy trip, not especially surprised when they reached the docks.

Entrapta was waiting for them, a trunk by her side. Bethany came to a sudden stop, jostling him, but she gently lowered her head so he could climb out of the cockpit with some measure of ease. Before his feet even touched the ground, Entrapta’s hair caught him up and pulled him close. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, and her legs wrapped around his hips. Her hair wrapped around everything else. He curled around her just as tightly, burying his face in the side of her neck and holding her close. “Hello, Starlight,” he murmured, her hair coiling around his fingers. “I’ve missed you.”

She nodded and hugged him tighter, sighing in contentment. “I missed you too! It hasn’t even been that long, but...” She pulled back just enough to look at him. “I didn’t know I could miss someone the way I missed you.” She laid a hand on his cheek, and he leaned into her palm, shutting his eyes to savor the touch. Her other hand slid between them, resting on his sternum. “You’re purring.”

His eyes opened, but he didn’t pull away. “It is not a purr. I do not....” He trailed off with a huff. Entrapta was smiling at him; he would not argue if she wanted to call it a purr.

“So, are you ready to go?”

“Go?”

“To Plumeria.”

His ears folded back. “Mermista agreed to that?”

“Well...” she drew out the word. “Not exactly. She came to pick up Sea Hawk and said that I could find you myself. We didn’t really discuss Plumeria, but I’m sure it’s okay. Sea Hawk waved as they left and very clearly said he’d see us there. So it’s probably fine.”

Hordak shook his head uncertainly. “I do not think that qualifies as an agreement.”

“Do you want to go?”

“It does not matter what I want—“

“It does, though.” He looked away, but a lock of hair curled around his cheek, urging him to turn back to her. “It matters to me. So—do you want to go?”

He shut his eyes and took a breath as he considered his reply. Finally, he looked at her and said, “I want to spend time with you; the location does not matter.”

Her smile was brilliant. “Excellent!” Her hair peeled away from him, and she used it to balance as she too pulled away. “May I have your hands?”

Curious, he held out his hands, and she installed a chip on each gauntlet. “What are you—?” She pressed a button, and a tether of purple light appeared between the two chips as his forearms pulled together. His ears folded back, and he tried to pull his hands apart. There were a few inches of give, but the tether held. He suspected he could break the bond if he absolutely needed to, but he was also able to reach the button Entrapta had pressed with ease. He touched it, and the tether disappeared. She turned it back on. “I do not understand what you’re doing,” he said.

“I’m kidnapping you!”

He cocked his head. “That is not an explanation.”

She hooked a rope of hair through the crook of his elbow and began guiding him toward the only steel vessel docked amidst the multitude of wooden ships. Another rope of hair grabbed the trunk, and he realized abrupty that it was his trunk, not hers. “Well, the way I figure, if I kidnap you, you’re not breaking the treaty.”

“But you would be. I do not want you to suffer—politically or personally—for my sake.”

“Actually, I signed the treaty as a member of the Princess Alliance; I didn’t make any promises about rebuilding. In fact, from a certain standpoint, you could read the clauses I agreed to—about pardoning the Etherian Horde for their acts during wartime and not penalizing Prime’s Clones for their actions while under his control—as applying to you. Excluding you from the festival, when all the other Princesses and their partners are allowed to go, is just singling you out for special punishment. Which you don’t deserve and is explicitly forbidden by the treaty.”

“I am free and permitted to remain at your side. I fail to see how I’m being punished for anything. They could be much harsher—“

She turned and used the tether to pull him close, kissing him with unexpected ferocity. He shut his eyes and leaned in, savoring the sensation of her lips against his. She pulled back slowly to look at him. “No, they can’t. Not while I’m here.” Her gaze, too, was fierce. And protective. “My nation has many trade partners, and the tech we produce is very valuable. No one is going to break a trade agreement over this. As for personal consequences....” She pressed her forehead to his, eyes shut, and feathered her thumb along the skin just behind his ear. “You are my best, most constant friend. You’re my lab partner. If they have a problem with that, then they’re not really my friends.” He sighed audibly, tension he wasn’t aware of bleeding out of his shoulders. She pulled back and grinned at him. “Now—to Plumeria!”

He still had his reservations about the whole thing, but he couldn’t find it in himself to deny her. A soft smile tugged at his mouth. “Lead the way, Starlight.”

She smiled and kissed him again, soft and gentle this time.

-

A/N: As always, your comments are deeply appreciated. I’m so happy everyone is enjoying this story. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support!

[thecreaturecodex]

Infernal Duke, Saurafer

Dinosaurs Attack! © The Topps Company Inc. Image accessed on Flickr here

[Monster 1000, everyone! I think! In updating my indices, I found that that’s harder to pin down than I had thought, what with templates, multiple monsters in one entry, and non-monster but game mechanics posts. But I’ll be treating this as Monster 1000 because even if it isn’t officially, it’s darn close.

I figured I would commemorate the milestone with a monster that embodies the Codex somewhat. I’ve been thinking about how to do it for a while (since around monster 900 or so). I was eventually inspired by some of the major themes of the blog. There’s a lot of dinosaurs and a lot of fiends around here. So here’s a patron for them both. The Supreme Monstrosity originally appeared in the Dinosaurs Attack! series of super-violent trading cards (seriously, be aware if you’re going to click through the source link) as the leader of an army of time-displaced, ferociously murderous prehistoric beasts.]

Infernal Duke, Saurafer CR 26 LE Outsider This orange scaled horror is a bipedal reptilian humanoid taller than a giant. Its skull is swollen and features a crown of horns and six eyes. Its arms end in muscular paws, leathery wings grow from its back, and its tail ends in an immense spiked club.

Saurafer Devil Dinosaur, the Supreme Monstrosity Concerns dinosaurs, competitions of strength, savagery Domains Evil, Law, Scalykind, Strength Subdomains Devil, Ferocity, Judgment, Saurian Worshipers evil druids, reptilian humanoids, gladiators Minions fiendish and half-fiend dinosaurs, horned devils, stygionyx Unholy Symbol a fanged maw biting a globe Favored Weapon heavy flail (or natural weapons) Obedience win a competition of strength. If you are alone, spend 1 hour writing an argument about why one individual or creature would win in a fight with another one. Gain a +4 profane bonus on Intimidate checks, and add 4 to the DC needed to successfully intimidate you. Boons 1: rage 1/day; 2: mass bull’s strength 1/day; 3: extended frightful aspect 1/day

Saurafer, the Supreme Monstrosity, is an infernal duke who rules over violent competitions of strength. He is perhaps the physical embodiment of the doctrine of “might makes right”, and seeks forever to test his power against other creatures. His chosen species are dinosaurs, which he sees as emblems of ferocity and power. Saurafer delights in pitting creatures against each other, especially dinosaurs against creatures of other eras and worlds, in order to see who is the superior. He is a sore winner, but an even sorer loser. He despises birds, as they are a reminder that in many worlds, dinosaurs succeeded not by becoming larger and stronger, but smaller and more intelligent.

As to be expected of the patron of savage combat, Saurafer is an absolute terror on the battlefield. He toys with weaker foes, using his fear abilities to send them scattering and then picking them off one by one. Those that resist are blasted with spells and breath weapons. If all else fails, Saurafer flies into a savage rage, which rarely ends until either he or his enemies are slain. Although he delights in one-on-one battles, if he fights multiple foes at once, he evens the odds by summoning devils and dinosaurs to aid him, or even uses animal shapes to turn devils into dinosaurs and improve their melee abilities.

Saurafer stalks the blighted realm of Avernus, single-handedly destroying armies that attempt to make a foothold in Hell and testing the forces of other infernal dukes. He is an example of a malabranche promoted, as he was successful in dragging an entire planet into the clutches of Hell. He hopes to someday repeat this performance, and is looking for ways of summoning and controlling enough dinosaurs at once to invade a whole world. Although he is not terribly intelligent by the standards of the hosts of Hell, he does not tolerate condescension, and is a shrewd judge of character. He has eaten at least one malebranche who did not show him proper respect.

Saurafer               CR 26 XP 2,457, 600 LE Gargantuan outsider (devil, evil, extraplanar, law) Init +9; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +37, scent, see in darkness, true seeing Aura frightful presence (150 ft., 5d6 rounds, Will DC 34), unholy aura (DC 27) Defense AC 45, touch 15, flat-footed 40 (-4 size, +5 Dex, +4 deflection, +30 natural) hp 555 (30d10+390); regeneration 10 (good and epic or silver and epic) Fort +27, Ref +26, Will +31 DR 20/good and silver; Immune charm and compulsion effects, death effects, fire, poison; Resist acid 30, cold 30; SR 37 Defensive Abilities fire shield, freedom of movement Offense Speed 50 ft., fly 100 ft. (average) Melee bite +42 (2d8+15 plus 2d6 fire and 2d6 acid), 2 claws +41 (2d6+15), gore +41 (2d8+15), tail slap +39 (3d8+22 plus reeling blow) Space 20 ft.; Reach 20 ft. Special Attacks breath weapon (100 ft. cone, 15d6 acid and 15d6 fire, Ref DC 38, 1d4 rounds), frenzy (75 rounds/day), powerful blows (tail slap), trample (2d6+22 plus 4d6 fire, Ref DC 40) Spell-like Abilities CL 26th, concentration +35 Constant—detect chaos, detect good, fire shield (warm), freedom of movement, speak with animals, true seeing, unholy aura (self only) At will—blasphemy (DC 26), fear (DC 23), flame strike (DC 24), greater teleport (self plus 50 lbs. only), mass charm monster (animals only, DC 25), telekinesis (DC 24) 3/day—greater shout (DC 27), quickened mass inflict pain (DC 25), primal regression (DC 26) 1/day—animal shapes, gate (DC 28), meteor swarm (DC 28), summon fiendish dinosaurs, summon (1 devil of CR 20 or lower, 100%, 9th level) Statistics Str 40, Dex 21, Con 36, Int 23, Wis 31, Cha 28 Base Atk +30; CMB +49 (+51 bull rush); CMD 68 (70 vs. bull rush) Feats Blind-fight, Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Dazzling Display, Flyby Attack, Great Cleave, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Initiative, Intimidating Prowess, Multiattack, Power Attack, Quicken SLA (mass inflict pain), Shatter Defenses, Snatch, Weapon Focus (bite) Skills Acrobatics +29 (+37 when jumping), Climb +39, Fly +26, Handle Animal +36, Intimidate +51, Knowledge (arcana) +30, Knowledge (nature, planes) +33, Perception +37, Sense Motive +37, Spellcraft +30, Stealth +20, Survival +34, Swim +39, Use Magic Device +33 Languages Celestial, Draconic, Infernal, speak with animals, telepathy 300 ft. SQ infernal duke traits Ecology Environment any land or underground (Hell) Organization solitary (unique) Treasure double standard Special Abilities Frenzy (Ex) Saurafer can enter a frenzy, granting him a +4 morale bonus on attack rolls, melee damage rolls and Will saves, as well as 120 temporary hit points.  These temporary hit points are lost first when Saurafer takes damage, and disappear when the frenzy ends. While in a frenzy, Saurafer suffers a -2 penalty to Armor Class and cannot use any Dexterity-, Intelligence- or Charisma-based skills, except for Acrobatics, Fly, Intimidate and Ride, or any ability that requires patience or concentration (such as using spell-like abilities). Saurafer can end his frenzy as a free action. If he frenzies again within 1 minute, he does not gain temporary hit points again. Treat this as the mighty rage and tireless rage ability of an unchained barbarian. Infernal Duke Traits (Ex/Su) Saurafer is an infernal duke, a powerful unique fiend. He possesses the following traits:

Immunity to charm and compulsion effects, death effects, fire, and poison.

Resistance to acid 30 and cold 30.

Telepathy 300 feet.

Saurafer’s natural weapons, as well as any weapon he wields, are treated as epic, evil and lawful for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.

Reeling Blow (Ex) A creature struck by Saurafer’s tail slap must succeed a DC 40 Fortitude save or be dazed for 1 round. On a critical hit, creatures that fail this save are instead stunned for 1d4+1 rounds. The save DC is Strength based. Summon Fiendish Dinosaurs (Sp) Once per day as a swift action, Saurafer can summon one or more fiendish dinosaurs with a combined CR of 20 or less. These dinosaurs obey his commands without question and remain for 1 hour or until slain. This is the equivalent of a 9th level spell.

[dreamwithoutreason]

Really need people to understand that there is a difference between your diagnosis being stigmatized (what usually happens with mental illness) and your diagnosis resulting in you being subjected to ableism (disability) because those two things are a bit different and the distinction is important.

I want to start by saying that I am in no way attempting to minimize the struggles that mentally ill people face. I am mentally ill and have depression, anxiety, and ADHD as well as a physical disability, Cerebral Palsy. The line between the struggles of people with mental illnesses and the struggles of disabled people is thin but there is still a line. I just want to highlight some of the ways that disabled people are especially discriminated against in a world built and run by abled people and how that can be different from how mental ill people experience alienation or stigmatization. These differences are also why I think that comparing a mental illness to a disability can be problematic. I am, however, also aware that there is overlap and that some diagnoses can be considered to have a foot in both arenas, this is in no way meant to be a hard and fast rule. I also don't claim to speak for the entire disabled community but a lot of the things under the ableism list are things that I've experienced myself which is the place that this post is coming from. I want people to realize that ableism is more than stigmatization and that it is engrained in the world that we live in.

Stigmatization comes from people misunderstanding your illness and how seriously it can impact you and your life. I would consider stigmatization to be things like:

People using your diagnosis as an insult or joke, further stigmatizing it. Ex: When ppl say things like "I'm so ocd" or "I'm so bipolar"

People ignoring your symptoms or attributing your symptoms to your character. For example, instead of recognizing the symptoms of your illness like executive dysfunction, someone might just call you lazy.

General lack of understanding or sympathy towards mentally ill people

Lack of accurate representations of mental illnesses in media. Most of the time the character with the mental illness is made to be the villain or antagonist. Once again, very stigmatizing and gross.

Also, for both mentally ill and disabled people it can sometimes be difficult or expensive to get the right medications you need.

Examples of everyday ableism and systematic ableism that's ingrained in our society which particularly affects disabled people include:

Someone using derogatory language to belittle and degrade your existence as a person. It positions you as less than. Can often be a targetted, direct attack at a disabled person. Ex: the r slur, words like "cripple", and using "deaf", "blind", or "disabled" as insults.

Mocking the way someone walks, moves, speaks, or exists as a disabled person.

No one taking you seriously because you are disabled/being subjected to infantilization. People assuming that you can't do anything for yourself.

Able-bodied people assuming the needs of a disabled person without asking them. Often this comes from a place of trying to be helpful but make sure you always ask what you can do to accommodate someone before assuming what they might need help with because it can be infantilizing

Example: I've had a lot of people assume that I need help putting on a jacket or getting my shoes on so they automatically start helping me with it and they basically end up treating me like a child because they assume that I can't do something.

People touching you or your equipment or mobility aids without your consent. Mobility aids can be like extensions of our body so do not touch them without our permission. This urge to violate a disabled person's space comes from the subconscious assumption that disabled people don't have their own autonomy.

Example: many times when I was a full-time wheelchair user people would come up behind me and just start pushing my wheelchair without asking or saying anything. Their intention was to help me get where I was going but it was very jarring to suddenly start being pushed without asking.

Being denied a job because you are disabled.

Job applications including physical ability requirements for non-physical or desk jobs to discourage disabled people from applying. Ex: "must be able to lift [x amount] of pounds"

Being denied the accommodations you need to be able to function in a school/work/home/other environment.

Lack of captions or audio descriptions

Being expected to work and move at the same pace as your peers all of the time.

Constantly feeling the need to "prove" yourself to the abled majority.

The idea that being abled is the ideal and that you need to do everything in your power to try to be as close to abled as possible. The idea that you shouldn't be comfortable with your disability. The notion that being disabled cannot be a whole or fulfilling identity.

A good example of this that people don't often think about are the viral videos that are like "Sally worked for months so that she could [struggle] to walk down the aisle at her wedding! Isn't that sweet?" Or the videos of kids feeling pressured to walk across the stage at graduation. These videos imply that struggling to perform ability is somehow better than being comfortably disabled.

The idea that disabled people can't be desirable, attractive, or sexy. The idea that they don't make good romantic partners.

Using disabled people as inspiration porn. This happens a lot with viral videos of disabled people where the comments amount to "if they can live with a disability, then you have no reason to complain about your life!" Disabled people do not exist to inspire you.

Also another personal example but one time in gym class I did more push ups than a girl who was able-bodied so she got all defensive and said "well if she can do that many then I'm gonna do more!" Like girl.... anyways...

Having to jump through a million hoops to get disability benefits. Or being denied disability benefits for arbitrary reasons.

Also once you get disability benefits it's barely anything. Also when you're on benefits you're not allowed to save up money and if you get married you lose benefits. I could make a whole other post about how disabled people are expected to live off of nothing but...

MOBILITY AIDS ARE SO EXPENSIVE HOLY SHIT

The world was built by and for able-bodied people. Architectural/environmental ableism occurs when there are no ramps, no accessible bathroom stalls, no elevators, no disability parking spaces, and/or no space for wheelchairs/mobility aids in public places.

This also happens a lot with public transportation. When I tried using the metro with my friends in DC, I had to have a security guard help me get down the escalator because there wasn't an elevator nearby. Right before I got on it, I saw a man force his wheelchair onto the escalator.

A smaller example but it can be as small as there not being a sidewalk ramp. One time I couldn't even cross the street because there was no sidewalk ramp and I was in a wheelchair. Once again, the world was built by able-bodied people.

Eco-ableism. It's when disabled people aren't considered when it comes to environmental activism. The best example of this is the straw debacle that happened last year. Every abled person and their mama wanted to complete ban plastic straws without acknowledging that a lot of disabled people need to use blendable, flexible plastic straws.

Another example that I've witnessed myself has been with automatic doors. I've had to tear down signs at my university that were put on automatic doors that said "save a polar bear, use the other door". Stop blaming disabled people's survival for environmental issues and blame big corporations.

Almost a complete lack of disability representation in media. Disabled kids don't have many people who they can look up to. I know I didn't have any.

The ableism that comes from abled parents of a disabled child.

For years I was told inaccurate information about my disability by able-bodied people, including my mother. It was only when I started researching my disability myself that I actually began to understand it.

Related to the previous point, lack of information or knowledge about certain disabilities

People assuming that just because someone is in a wheelchair that they can't move their legs or walk. This feeds into the idea that disabled people are "faking" their disability. The idea that someone is "faking" can lead people to be attacked or have people tell them that they don't "deserve" things like benefits or parking spaces.

People who straight up pretend they don't see us. I've had so many people try to cut me in line over the years just because they didn't think I would say anything or wanted to pretend they didn't see me.

I have friends who have delayed speech as part of their disability. If you know someone who has delayed speech or a stutter, don't fucking cut them off or try to finish their sentences for them. It's super rude and disrespectful.

DON'T FUCKING SAY THE R WORD. DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT EVEN IF YOU ARE DISABLED! THE R WORD IS SO ABLEIST AND STIGMATIZING STOP SAYING IT! DON'T PUT IT IN YOUR WRITING EITHER!

Lastly, about half of people killed by police have some sort of disability or mental illness. Disability is intersectional and it's important when talking about things like the BLM movement, women's rights, lgbtq+ rights, etc.

Hope this helped you learn something about ableism and how prevalent it is!

[quitereal]

Spoilers for the movie Trust (2021) and trigger warning for discussion of cheating/infidelity below the cut, it will be a rant

I love Kat, and she was amazing in this movie. Seriously, just look at the gifs, she’s sensational, her acting was honestly the highlight of the whole film. But I’m just gonna say, that was not a high bar, because this movie is hot garbage. Hot entirely because of Kat, because she is fucking hotter than hell, and she brought her A-game, which is frankly more than can be said for LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE ON THE CAST. Obviously she was better than Matt Daddario, because he has all the acting skill of a potato. Victoria Justice was... fine. She was clearly phoning it in, and same for Lucien Laviscount. They were there, that’s about the extent of what can be said for their performances, but honestly, I can’t blame them. It is a testament, frankly, to Kat’s talent and dedication that she put as much into this shitty film as she did. 

I’m not gonna mince words here, it was bad. It was just bad. Kat’s performance was a bright spot, but she didn’t save the movie by any stretch. Everything from the music to the writing to the editing to the very premise of the plot was just bad. The music was jarring, there was no theme to it, some scenes had no background music at all, others had weirdly upbeat music, and others felt like they were trying to set the tone of a film noir, which this “mystery” certainly was not. The writing made no sense, the characters were not compelling, they seemingly had NO motivation whatsoever, and the ending was just trash. The editing was all over the place, and sorry, I’m just never going be a fan of tons of flashback cuts. START THE STORY WHERE THE STORY STARTS. Don’t do this flashback nonsense to try and make a boring story better, it was not good. If you need to pull these sort of tricks on your audience, then you don’t have a good enough story. And onto the plot, which is probably the worst part of this suck-fest.

Okay, so the story starts by trying to convince us that Brooke (Victoria Justice) and Owen (Matt Daddario) are a married couple that are deeply in love. Except they’re just not. From the get-go, they’re both suspicious that they’re BOTH going to cheat, and that’s what gets us started down this road. At one point, Brooke describes her suspicions as a “sliver of doubt” except that if it’s truly just a sliver, you go to counselling, you don’t hire a decoy to trick your husband. Owen also clearly knows his wife is suspicious and actually uses her insecurities to needle at her with a business trip he’s going on with his (apparently entirely female) production crew. They are just deeply trashy people who are not at all in love, and are apparently married because... I can’t think of a reason, they’re terrible together, they have zero on-screen chemistry and I just did not believe for a minute that these two people even LIKED each other, let alone were deeply in love. 

Like, I get it. She has to hire a decoy instead of going to counselling because going to counselling does not make for a good movie, but neither does what they did here. The ending is really the part that makes everything else make no sense, because if the movie is about this deeply unhappy couple who are wildly suspicious of one another and don’t even trust each other enough to have a FUCKING CONVERSATION about their insecurities, they really should break up right? Well, not in this fucked up world. In this world, after both spouses have cheated on one another, apparently the logical step is to immediately forgive one another, and have a baby within the year. BECAUSE BABIES MAGICALLY FIX SHITTY RELATIONSHIPS RIGHT?! Oh my god, it’s so bad, I cannot.

And let’s get into the WORST part of this movie, the fucking misogyny and slut-shaming portion of the film. So, Amy (Katherine McNamara) is introduced as the decoy that Brooke hires to essentially seduce her husband to see if he’ll cheat. Notably, Amy is NOT supposed to sleep with Owen, only find out if he’ll take the opportunity, but lo and behold, apparently Owen is on her “hall pass” and when given the opportunity to sleep with one of her top-five celebrity crushes, Amy takes it. But Amy actually proves to be the only character so far to have an ounce of integrity, which is actually not a good thing in her line of work, because for some reason, after she sleeps with Owen and he treats her like ABSOLUTE GARBAGE, she tries to protect him, and then tells him about the whole arrangement with his wife as if she owes him? Her coming back to tell him the truth is absolutely nonsensical, the way he treated her after their tryst showed his complete and utter disdain for her, even before he found out she was part of a trick his WIFE was playing on him. And of course, everyone turns on her, even though she wouldn’t even have been involved if they would just talk to each other. The worst thing I can say about Amy is that she’s DUMB AF, like she clearly made a mistake here, but in her defense, she is the ONLY character who actually seems to feel bad that she slept with a married man and acknowledges that SHE MADE A MISTAKE. She even gives the money back. Neither Brooke or Owen seem at all bothered that they cheated on their spouses, Owen only shows any signs of distress when he thinks he’ll get caught (and then when he is) and Brooke never even admits to what she did (and yes, I realize she didn’t sleep with Angsgar, but she did get almost naked and make out with him, so like, where are we drawing the line in the sand? In my book, that’s cheating too). Neither of them seem to feel badly for hurting their spouse, and to solve their problem, they cut out Amy & Angsgar, as if they’re the source of the problem. Like no guys, temptation is not your issue. You are the issue here, but sure, have a baby, slap a bandaid on your problems like it’s gonna make everything better. I feel so fucking bad for that kid, they are gonna need ALL the therapy.

Like I do realize I probably have issues with the entire premise of the film, but it’s just so, so poorly executed. If you’re going to do a movie about cheating spouses, you should, at some point, have them acknowledge the deep betrayal that infidelity is and actually DEAL WITH THE FALLOUT. Like they should’ve lost the nonsense back-flashes and spent that time exploring how Owen & Brooke moved past their mutual betrayals and forgave one another, but instead they just seem to say “well, I guess we’re even now,” and live happily ever after. 

Honestly, the whole film feels like someone is desperately trying to justify their own cheating behavior with a movie about how “everybody does it” and it doesn’t really hurt anyone. It’s bullshit, and so is the whole movie. 

It was not good. But Kat was great. If you haven’t seen it, don’t. Just look at the gifs of Kat, because she looks fucking amazing. 

[vanaera]

Love at First Snow (jhs)

Synopsis | It is during the first snow Hoseok first meets Y/N. It is also during the first snow he prepares to put a ring on her. Little does he know, fate has other plans. (OR: As Hoseok relishes in the spirit of the Holiday season, he cannot help but also reminisce how you two, though entire polar opposites of each other, ended up together. Characters | dance major (and “academically-challenged”)!Hoseok x Genius!female reader (College AU) Prompt | “You know, you remind me a lot of the Grinch. The only difference is in the end, his heart grows three sizes, but you stay an asshole.” Genre | Fluff, Humor, Angst Wordcount | 16.9k (I’m sorry, this ended up longer than I intended) Warnings | Discussions of verbal abuse from toxic families and mentions of panic attacks A/N | Hi Cristine! It is I, snowflake, your secret santa! This is my gift for @bts-poetry for @bangtanarmynet, and @btsbookclub ‘s Secret Santa 2019 event! I combined this gift with the prompt I claimed in @kwritersworld’s 2019 Christmas Event as my inspirations for both events have merged into one story hehe.

              Everyone has some titles to live by. “Well-versed lawyer,” “patient teacher,” “single mother,” “broke student”—one-liner characteristics and descriptions enough for people to summarize the entirety of one another. From each other’s greatest achievements to their itty bitty mistakes, any of them can be used to replace an identifier. After all, people always see what they want to see. It all depends on what title sticks out the most to the majority around them.  For Jung Hoseok, he lives up to the title of a lovable boyfriend and a rare one, too. As whenever people look at him, the first thing they see is the aberrance of how he ended up….dating Y/N.

              There’s nothing wrong with him, or Y/N for that matter. It’s just…they are the most impossible couple to end up together as they are the most literal polar opposites of each other.

             People remember Jung Hoseok as the golden dance major of the prestigious South Tigers University. He got into the Performing Arts program, Major in Dance by acing the laborious dance audition despite his unimpressive results in the written exam. Hoseok’s colorful background from his long-term dance crew, Hope World, and his countless wins in different hip hop dance competitions were more than enough proof to know he is indeed one of the top dancers of the university. With a body capable of executing each move ever known to humankind with such grace and precision, Jung Hoseok also has a stage presence that warrants everyone’s unbridled attention. Thus, it is without question he is the prided Most Valuable Dancer of his university’s varsity dance crew, Synergy. The long line-up of trophies Synergy has placed in STU’s hall of glory, all thanks to the competitions Hoseok led, are enough to say Hoseok is literally the modern-day Apollo.

             However, it is not just his talent or insanely god-like face and physique that makes Hoseok so “golden.” Because as if Apollo wasn’t enough, Hoseok also impersonated Helios. Jung, Hoseok is warm and kind and funny. He easily makes everyone want to be his bestfriend the moment they met him. Most people often speak of him first thing in the morning with another wonderful feat he pulled off. Hoseok is great in the things he does — playing as the great wingman for people who need the extra push in their romances or becoming the occasional teacher’s pet who goes to the professor and (easily) successfully convinces them to give the class a deadline extension for a requirement. Hoseok turns up every campus party into the happiest event anyone could ever be in and he is such an amazing, sincere friend who remembers everyone’s birthday and gives out the nicest of hugs. Hell, Hoseok even volunteers in long-inactive “dead” college organizations like the Campus Drunk Patrol, Environment Protection Squad, and Animal Welfare Group in his free time. Hoseok is the literal sun and anyone who knows him — which is literally, everyone — will never be unable to deny otherwise.

             So when Hoseok expressed romantic interest in Y/N in sophomore year, everyone around him was beyond bewildered. Most especially, his friends.

             “Y/N?” Jimin sputters, “as in…The Y/N, L/N from our batch?”

             “Well, yeah-”

             “Like the Analytical Physics major Y/N L/N?” Taehyung gapes.

             “Yeah, I mean,” Hoseok sends them a questioning look, “is there any other Y/N L/N?”

             Taehyung scratches his head. “Well, no…I just thought there’s a Y/N in another batch?”

             Hoseok gives him a pointed look, unamused.

             But Taehyung’s true sentiment is voiced out when Jimin half-screams at their table, “Why her?!”

             “Well, why not her?” Hoseok half-smiles, picking on the fries that were dropped scattered onto the table after Jimin unceremoniously pounded his fist on the surface in an act of over-exaggeration.

             Taehyung sends Hoseok a disgusted look but continues his friend’s argument, “Dude, she’s like, the entire opposite of you.”

             “And that is an understatement.” Jimin points a fry toward his direction, glaring at Hoseok.

             Hoseok huffs, “Oh c'mon, you’re all just going overboard. What happened to the golden rule ‘don’t judge a book by its cover?’”

             “First of all, Y/N’s not a book,” Jimin scoffs. “She’s like, the whole fucking library of science textbooks. Last sem, we’re busy doing a group project when Y/N suddenly spewed some SOHCAHTOA shit about the Bermuda Triangle. As if the things she said are already a whole level of weird, she even said them in a manner like Liam Neeson’s ‘I don’t know who you are but I’m going to kill you’ monologue from Taken. And second of all, the golden rule is ‘do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you,’ dumbass.”

             “Okay I got the golden rule wrong,” Hoseok groans, “but nevertheless, you’re still violating it by judging Y/N.”

             “In our defense tho,” Taehyung mumbles over the straw of his milkshake, “Y/N judged us first. I was watching Orange one time in the library and she came over and took a seat with me. And then she said some alien gibberish about how Naho Takamiya always fall stupidly on the stairs because she said, by verbatim, ‘according to basic logic and common sense, that’s not how projectiles work,’” Taehyung clicks his tongue and Jimin cringes. Taehyung continues, “Y/N said Naho wouldn’t fly to the hallway when she tripped on the actual steps. She even actually drew a diagram with computations of Naho’s fall and gave it to me before she abruptly got up and go. God, I’ve never felt so stupid and insulted both at the same time.”

             “And,” Jimin adds, “last December, I shared a meme on Facebook about turning on your brain instead of your heart this coming 2017 and guess what she did? She commented below “guess, you’ll just die of heart failure before 2017 even comes.” Jimin rolls his eyes, “She made me feel dumb as if I don’t know how heart failure works. So us judging her back is just fair and square.”

             “But you don’t actually know how heart failure works,” Hoseok retorts. He glares at Taehyung, “And dude, to be honest, Orange is overrated and Naho really flies whenever she trips, or gets tripped, on the stairs.” Hoseok throws up his hands in annoyance. “Seriously, are you two judging her for just…I don’t know, being smart?!”

             Taehyung sighs. “Okay, that’s a bit true, but the thing is, Hobi, our IQ levels are already a bit higher than yours—”

             “What’s that got to do with this?!”

             “—And if Y/N’s already treating us like the biggest idiots of the world,” Jimin continues Taehyung’s words, “then what chance do you have in having a decent conversation with her? Much less a more fruitful one that could end up in a romantic relationship? There’s like a 99.9 percent sure-ness she will make you more of an idiot than us!”

             “Yeah,” Taehyung nods. “Her thoughts are composed of quadratic formulas and science shit like ‘the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.’ While I’m not even sure you know what DNA stands for.”

             Hoseok gawks, “Of course I know what DNA stands for!”

             “Then say it,” Jimin cocks a brow.

             “Dual Nucleus Association—fuck, why am I even doing this—” Hoseok glares at his friends, “What do you take me for? An imbecile?”

             “Well, yeah,” Taehyung says honestly.

             “That’s why right now, we’re telling you to drop anything you’re feeling in that,” Jimin points to Hoseok’s chest, “for Y/N. Hell, how will you even click together? Y/N’s allergic to nonsense and emojis and your daily vocabulary is entirely nonsense and eggplant emojis.”

             Hoseok opens his mouth to argue he also knows about the clown emoji but before he can utter a word, Taehyung beats him to it.

             “Dude, we’re not telling you this to insult you.” Jimin snorts and Taehyung closes his eyes before he looks again at Hoseok’s eyes, “Okay, maybe we’re enjoying teasing you a little too much. But we can say this is just payback for you not letting us go home earlier yesterday because you said we ‘need improvement’ which I damn well think not, bitch.” Hoseok squirms and Taehyung claps his shoulder hard, making him wince. “Anyway, what we’re trying to say, Hoseok, is we just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

             “How will I get hurt?! Nothing’s happened yet. I’m just saying I like Y/N—”

             “That’s what we’re worried about, Hoseok,” Jimin cuts him. “Nothing’s happened yet but we know something already did.”

            “Like what?”

            “You like Y/N. That’s the problem,” Jimin deadpans. “Hoseok we know you like to take relationships seriously. We even know that when you set your heart on a girl, your imagination is already two steps ahead, playing your wedding in your head.”

            Hoseok gulps, a guilty sweat forming on his temple.

            “But you see, Y/N belongs to that type of people who have their what-will-you-be-in-10-years solidly planted in their heads. And it’s highly probable a relationship, much less a wedding, is written in those 10-year plans. Much more, art majors like us are stigmatized to bound for failure because society is still close-minded and deems art won’t feed us. And by the meaning of society, it’s the ‘almighty and noble’ science folks Y/N belongs to. For God’s sake, there’s a lot of movies that have already forecasted science and art don’t mix!” 

            “Well, I don’t remember any movies—”

            Taehyung looks at Hoseok, incredulous. “Dude, there’s like The Theory of Everything—”

             “That’s science and faith!”

            “Stephen Hawking’s ex-wife sang in a choir. And she also started writing after their divorce! So that’s still art!”

            Hoseok was about to retaliate when he feels Jimin clasp a firm hand on his shoulder. He looks at him. Jimin sighs, “Hoseok, we just want you to not regret your decisions in the end. Y/N belongs to those snobbish high-hat people who treat everyone below them like dirt. There’s plenty of other girls out there who are much nicer than Y/N. Nice just like you. For one, why don’t you try giving a chance to the girls who’ve been crushing on you since freshman year? I know a few and they’re actually sweet. Just anyone who’s not Y/N. Seriously, just trust us on this, Hobi.”

             Except Hoseok does not. If there is one characteristic to describe Hoseok other than nice and talented, that would be his hard-headedness. He didn’t listen to his parents when they tried to discourage him from taking dance as his major. Hoseok disregarded numerous peers’ suggestions to join a frat so he can “shine more.” He even disregarded the toxic masculinity fraternities promoted by rocking pink overalls with his sparkly ugly sneakers and multicolored acorn pouch (which Jimin told him was the bane of the entire fashion industry) at least once a week. He even changes it up with other colorful ensembles the fashion students make. Hoseok did not even listen to Taehyung when the former told him not to drink before taking their finals in World History because, "no Hoseok, the alcohol does NOT bring back memories.”

             And look where his stubbornness got him. Hoseok became one of the greatest dancers his university has ever handled. His sole talent is enough for him to get invited to teach classes in several prestigious art colleges in the country. Hoseok gained more fulfilling and growth-inspiring friendships than surface-level ones offered by frats. He enjoyed more substantial conversations than booze temptation and toxic, trivial fights over games and girls. Hoseok even accidentally created a modeling career with local brands after his viral modeling of a peach acorn-inspired outfit for the project of his fashion major friends. Although him disregarding Taehyung’s reminders was a big mistake as he totally flunked World History, that night actually made Hoseok learn his lesson not to drink before the finals (and also because he learned the alcohol does not bring back memories he actually needed for the exam. But memories of his most embarrassing moments — like the one where he ended up performing in a children’s party as a fairy godmother—complete with the rainbow gown, fairy wings, plastic crown, and wand—because he mixed up the location of the college’s Halloween party with his friend’s family get-together).

             So, why would Hoseok listen to Jimin and Taehyung when setting his eyes and heart for Y/N feels like the most right decision he has ever made in his life? Especially when Y/N’s nowhere the high-hat snobbiety concept Jimin put her in. Hoseok is sure about this because he started to see and know her more than anyone else could after the fateful night of the Science Majors’ last year’s Christmas party.

             “Is that Y/N?” Hoseok squints his eyes. The person walking towards him is clad in a black coat and indigo satin slip-dress that falls short on her mid-thigh. Her hair is a mess and her small glittery satchel is slipping off her shoulders even if she adjusted it again and again. Not to say she’s also limping on her two-inch silver heels. When the girl raises her head and sees him, her face falls into an annoyed scowl. Hoseok right then confirms it is aberrantly, and shockingly, Y/N. At the sight of recognition in his face, Y/N immediately runs away in the opposite direction. Hoseok finds himself already chasing after her before his mind could acknowledge that he is actually running after the campus’ excruciating goody-two-shoes in the ass'o clock of the night.

             Hoseok easily catches up to Y/N. He blocks her way, causing her to halt. Hoseok hunches as he breathlessly puffs, “Hey Y/N, why you so fast?”

             “No-none of your business Jung Hoseok,” Y/N turns away from him and crosses her arms. Hoseok almost smiles. It is amusing how she effortlessly pulls her usual “intimidator stance” even in such a weird scenario.

             “Well, it is my business if you’re wandering on campus grounds in the night and obviously not sober.”

             Y/N whips her head towards him, “I am sober. What are you even here for?”

             “According to my eyes, you’re clearly drunk. Look,” Hoseok points to her face, “you look red all over and you can’t even look at me straight.” 

            Y/N slaps his hand away. 

            Hoseok puts his hands back in his pockets, “You’re clearly doing some beautiful eyes challenge right now.” 

            Y/N cringes at him but Hoseok continues, “And for your second question, I’m patrolling for the Campus Drunk Patrol.” He smiles and points to the logo on his jacket.

             Y/N leans forward and squints at the logo. Seeing her raised brow, Hoseok explains, “We aim to help drunk students sober up before commuting home. We can also escort them to their dorm facades and notify their RAs to come and get them.”

             Y/N still has her brow raised, skeptical. Hoseok sighs, “Well, it’s a dead org so I understand why you don’t believe me. If I also learn some org that’s been inactive for five years has suddenly gone active, I will be skeptical, too. But trust me on this, okay? I’ll just walk you around until you’re sober enough to know how to go home. I heard you’re dorming here. I can help you get to your dorm if you want.”

             Y/N still looks unconvinced and Hoseok releases a sigh again. He juts his thumb and points to his back, “We have our Patrol Marshal stationed there by the campus gates. He can totes see us here and tell you’re one of the stubborn drunk students who refuse to cooperate with our protocol.” 

            Hoseok smugly puts his weight on his left foot.“You can refuse and go ahead. But because the marshal doesn’t let drunk people he already caught go home, he will notify the head RA and trust me when I tell you I’ve seen a lot of students end up in bigger trouble for not complying with our joint protocol with the RA Council. Or,” Hoseok smiles, “you could just make our lives easier by letting me help you sober up.”

             Y/N looks away, gnawing on her lip. When Hoseok hears a faint “fine” come from her, he has to keep his jaw from hanging open.

             Because, why wouldn’t he be flabbergasted?

             Y/N L/N, the fearsome Analytical Physics major, is not the sweetest star out there. With a resting bitch face, innateness to give cold replies, gift of the perpetual judging stare, and insensitivity to joke cues, Y/N is one of the hardest people to cooperate with. It is not entirely because she does not put in any effort. No one just found it easy, or tolerable even, to interact with her. Sure, Y/N’s smart, a genius in Hoseok’s eyes. However, what stuck to everyone’s memory is how she unconsciously belittles everyone around her. Y/N gives out unnecessary run-throughs of chemistry concepts about any movie or animation brought up in a conversation. She instantly goes grammar-nazzi on anyone who slips on the rules of English grammar, especially when people make errors concerning the Oxford comma in their papers. She even goes out of her way to explain to her fellow students the physics of how and why they drove or parked badly with their bike or scooter.

             But the pinnacle of Y/N’s negative reputation has to be her merciless removal of her senior’s name, Oh Sehun, from the case study required in Communication Media Theories. In her very first year in university, at that. Although her action is justified as Sehun did not contribute anything at all in the group project, this name removal caused outrage among every college student. Sehun, who is actually the college’s renowned quarterback, graduated late and was now behind of his original team who already got into the professionals. All because of Y/N. Hence, the people in the university have started to associate her name with the title “stuck-up-iest bitch to ever walk on Earth.” Some don’t even seem to remember her name. All everyone knew is that Y/N’s one hell of a condescending bitch.

             So having Y/N walk silently by his side, cooperating for the first time without reciting her rights based on the constitution with such accuracy in verbatim while passively and implicitly insulting him, Hoseok cannot help to be so shocked.

             Noticing the complete silence that has surrounded them two, Hoseok breaks from his trance and leads Y/N to the college’s cafe. It’s already closed, given the lateness of the night, but it has their outdoor metal chairs set-up outside. He lets Y/N plop down on one of the metal seats as he produces a coffee-in-can for her.

             “Do you just casually carry around canned coffees with you?”

             “No, just when I am on duty for the patrols. Caffeine is the best way to help people sober up fast.” Hoseok inserts an edible straw for her and she grabs the drink.

             “I don’t think so,” Y/N mutters, “Human body processes consumed alcohol on its own, thus, it’s processing speed is neither affected nor aided by any exterior substances. With this, there’s no such actual thing as 'sobering up fast.’ It just feels like that because caffeine is a stimulant and hence, counters the sedative effect of alcohol, making you feel alert and appear to be sober.” Y/N takes another sip, “Nevertheless, thanks for the free coffee.”

              Hoseok almost gapes. The people were not kidding about how Y/N casually spouts science shit wherever she goes. Although he’s supposed to get tipped off, Hoseok just finds this set-up oddly amusing. He leans forward in his seat and props up his arm on the table to cup his face. “Anyway, why are you out in the late of the night?”

                 Y/N gives him an unamused look, “Because I was obviously partying. Is there any other party in the campus right now than the Science Majors’ Christmas party?”

              “You’re right,” Hoseok chuckles, “but what I mean is, why are you already outside? The party doesn’t end 'til 2 A.M.”

              “I just decided I want to go home.”

              “Why?”

              Y/N drops her drink on the table, “Are you just gonna ask me 'why’ everytime?!”

              Hoseok tilts his head and smiles, “Talking with drunk people is part of our protocol in sobering up. So, yeah, I’m gonna ask why every time until the redness on your nose and cheeks subsides a little.”

              “Fine,” Y/N hisses. She gives Hoseok a steely glare, “This night is the first time I’ve done something so stupid such as going to a party in an attempt to expand my connections. It turns out everyone still irrationally hates me about Oh Sehun’s name removal and they refused to interact with me. They kept sending me glares  while I just pathetically stood in the corner of the room for the duration of the party, dumbly holding a cup of some alcoholic drink I just realized 30 minutes ago was what you call ‘spiked.’ These pretty heels I wore hurt my ankles and toes all for nothing.” Y/N covers her face with her palms, “God, I don’t even know why I’m opening up about these things with you when it’s just the first time I talked with you. Maybe it’s just because I’m just drunk, god, it’s so stupid–”

              “It’s not stupid,” Hoseok interjects and Y/N raises her head from her hands. Hoseok smiles, “When there’s too much alcohol in our system, we get to do stuff we never knew we can. And sometimes, they are things we really desire to do but dare not let out in the open, afraid of what others may think. And it may come off as stupid as you’re letting your heart do the talking instead of your brain. But you know what? You have to be stupid sometimes to acknowledge what your brain may be missing out on. Plus,” Hoseok stretches open his arms wide, “there’s just the two of us here so no one can really judge you because hey, I’m just all ears here. After all, I’m just an officer of the Campus Drunk Patrol helping you sober up.” At the sight of Y/N’s pursed lips and eyes set on the coffee beside her, looking as if she’s convinced (and it looks like it’s not like her to admit it), Hoseok smiles wider and leans forward. “Now, back to your story. Why did you decide to go to a party?”

              “Because,” Y/N sighs, “I don’t know, @keanu_reeves_is_the_real_daddy from Hoboken said in Reddit that going to parties is a great opportunity to make friends.” Y/N looks down at her hands and interlocks them, “I’m just–I’m just desperate to get some friends. I’m already in second year, and still, no one wants to be with me. I often talk about how I don’t care whether people like me or not. Most of the time, I really do not care at all. But sometimes...it also gets lonely when you feel everyone seems to hate you.”

              “Well, I’m not everyone.”

              Y/N looks up at him, frowning, “That’s a great joke, Hoseok. I saw you hanging with Jimin just yesterday and I heard my name as the subject and "stick-in-the-ass bitch” as the predicate in a couple of sentences.“

              "Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but it was just Jimin who talked bad about you. Did you hear me say your name and 'stick-in-the-ass’ in one sentence?”

              Y/N glares at him. She then rips her gaze away from him to set them back on her interlocked fingers. “What are you trying to imply, Hoseok?”

               "I’m trying to imply, if you want to have a friend, I’m willing to be one.”

               "But you already got lots of friends.”

               Hoseok smiles, “That doesn’t mean I have no room left for one more.”

              Y/N gives him that skeptic look again and Hoseok snorts. “Hey, I’m being serious here. I really want to be your friend if you’d like. And no, it’s not because I pity you.” 

              Y/N raises a brow at him in disbelief and Hoseok purses his lips. He raises his hands in surrender, “Ooohkay, maybe like 0.001 percent I do, but 99.999 percent I just don’t like how everyone hates you for something that is not actually your fault. I really want to get to know you if you’d let me.”

                 Y/N just stares at him and Hoseok, for the first time in his life save for the days he’s answering written exams, has literally no idea what to do. Is Y/N angry at him for blurting out those things? Or is she aggravated he seemed plastic? But Hoseok knows he meant every single thing he said because first and foremost, he cannot lie even if he wanted to. He’s a goddamn horrible liar that anyone will know he’s lying before he can even start to lie. Second, he always says the first thing that comes to his mind because, in the majority of his life, he is incapable of thinking first before doing something. And third, Hoseok really meant what he said. He’s always been curious about Y/N. Jimin and Taehyung always talk ill about her and from the numerous negative shits he hears from them, he can’t help but think that maybe, her reputation is just one big hell of a rumor. It’s just impossible that so many rumors and negative comments about someone who he rarely sees outside the university, to be true. 

              Hoseok knows because he also has his fair share of rumors he has struggled to disprove. Like how he “cheated” in dance contests because no one can’t believe someone is just so exceptionally talented that they can win every single competition they join. Or how he “slept around” with almost half of the female population in the university just because he has lots of female friends and he loves to joke around with eggplant and saliva emojis in his texts. It’s hard to be contained in such one definitive title, much more a heavily negative one. Hoseok knew what it felt and it feels it’s just wrong to stay as a standbyer while the entire university jeers on Y/N for such a trivial reason.

              “Do-do you really mean that?”

              Hoseok looks at Y/N and nods. “Yes, I do.”

              Something wet drops on his jacket and Hoseok looks up at the sky. The sky is pitch black, save for the white inklets dotting the atmosphere, lightening up the dark horizon along with the glow of sparkling snowflakes. He turns to Y/N and smiles, “Oh look, it’s the first snow.”

              Y/N returns his smile this time. She tells him she wants to stay for ten more minutes to appreciate the snow before going home. Hoseok grins at her and says he’s got enough time to spare before his duty ends.

              The next day, Y/N’s frowning at Hoseok as the latter awkwardly holds his lunch tray next to her table.

              “Uhhh, aren’t you standing by the wrong table? Your friends sit over there.”

              “No,” Hoseok quips. “Jimin and Taehyung are not seated anywhere here because their lunches are scheduled way later today. And, this, in my opinion,” Hoseok scoots to Y/N’s side and sits down beside her, “is the perfect table.” Hoseok digs in his lunch and grins at her, “You should probably start eating now, too, y'know? Your food’s gonna get cold.”

              “I–” Y/N bites her lip and look away before she refocuses a glare at his face, “Are you really taking seriously your joke last night?”

              “It’s not a joke,” Hoseok retorts, dropping his utensils. “I’m serious about everything I said." 

              "But I didn’t mean mine. I’m drunk, remember?”

              “If you really didn’t mean them,” Hoseok looks at her, “then you can just tell me to leave. I’ll do whatever you say.”

              Y/N stares at him, brows scrunched together as if conflicted. She looks down on her hands on her lap and sighs, “I…don’t really want you to…leave. I’m sorry, I just…thought you’re just playing with me. You know all of this is still new to me. I’m sorry.”

              “Hey, it’s fine,” Hoseok chuckles, “no need to be so serious. We can take things slowly as long as you’d like.” Y/N pulls up a small smile and Hoseok grins. “Let’s finish our lunches and then we can look at memes. Memes are essential building blocks in friendships.”

              “Really?”

              “Yeah. Taehyung and I became friends after we accidentally sent each other hilarious anti-government blinking man memes.”

              It is needless to say the entire university goes berserk later when they find Y/N, the campus bitch, and Hoseok, the university’s sunshine boy, guffawing over chemistry memes during lunch. Hoseok does not understand a thing, but he enjoys laughing with Y/N as she passionately explains to him each concept and why they are funny.

              It is true that Y/N wasn’t the dearest person in the world. Hoseok learned this after weeks of dealing with her unintentional snarkiness and unnecessary science lessons that may seem insulting and offensive to others. But through the time he got to befriend her, Hoseok learns Y/N is just too smart for her own good. Y/N always goes around like an encyclopedia because she doesn’t know what else to say when she wants to find common grounds with other people. It is just unfortunate that Y/N cannot speak of anything that does not involve quantum mechanics and chemical structures.  Meanwhile, her unintended snarkiness is always directed to people’s redundancy and anomalies in their speech. Hoseok found out about this as soon as February rolled in, that it has to do with the restrictive childhood Y/N had. This, he discovered when Professor Minyoung Park called for him after his Science 11 GE class.

              “Hoseok, I see you getting close with Y/N, these days.”

              “Yes ma'am,” Hoseok replies. He sits on the chair in front of her desk.

              “Oh, then you must have been familiar with how she can get,” Ms. Park leans forward, “not so…friendly around people. I know she and her mind of hers can be a little too much for others.”

              Hoseok’s forehead furrows. How did Professor Park know? Although Y/N’s bad reputation has easily spread like wildfire among college students, not many professors or any of the university staff have shown any interest in her life other than her impressive academic standing. Hoseok asks, “How did you know, Ms. Park?”

              The 40-year old professor leans back and smiles. “Would you believe I used to tutor Y/N L/N back in middle school?”

              “No way,” Hoseok’s jaw drops open.

              Ms. Park chuckles, “Yes, it’s true. I know, what a coincidence right?  I remember how that pretty girl used to be so insecure about her braces.”

              “Yeah, she must be so…adorable back then,” Hoseok looks away bashful. He’s not used associating Y/N with such adjectives. Saying them aloud feels too weird on his tongue.

              Ms. Park’s voice makes him turn back to her. “Until now she is. It’s just a shame how she did not outgrow her…usual speech style. But in her defense, it’s not entirely her fault.”

              Hoseok’s eyes widen. His curiosity is instantly piqued. “What do you mean, Ms. Park?”

              “Well, Y/N L/N is brought up in a home…quite not friendly for children growing up. The L/Ns is a prestigious family. Not for their wealth, but for their remarkable lineage of geniuses. Y/N’s great grandparents are renowned mathematician whizzes. Her grandparents own Fields medals for their remarkable contributions in mathematics. Moreover, Y/N’s parents are well-respected chemists in almost every pharmaceutical congregation. Even their relatives are families of renowned doctors and engineers. From over ten years of tutoring her, I noticed how expectations pile up upon the short shoulders of young Y/N. Every single school day, Y/N has to attend cram schools and private tutoring after her classes to ensure she stays on top of the overall batch standing. She also has to be exposed to upper-class parties at such a young age which I think does not help anyone at all. Especially a child. All the people ever do there is brag about their achievements, scour for new families to ally with or manipulate, and eye each other’s mistakes so they can prove publicly how better they are than everyone else.” Ms. Park looks at Hoseok in the eyes, “Believe me, I used to dream about attending such parties until I finally learned how they go when I’ve been invited by the L/Ns. And with Y/N being a single child, all eyes were on her. So any room for mistakes is non-existent. Her parents assured her to grow like the perfect daughter they wanted her to be by making sure her movements are always constantly monitored and kept in check. You think Y/N studied here because this is just a prestigious school? No. The L/Ns wanted to send her abroad. To Harvard. Y/N refused and convinced them instead she’ll study here because I work here. And her parents trust me that I can be their eyes to see Y/N’s progress.”

              Hoseok nods but he cannot help but let his mouth hang open at everything he’s discovering right now. No one really knew anything about Y/N. And suddenly out of nowhere, on some random Thursday afternoon, he is introduced into a pandora box of history where everything about her suddenly seems to make sense.

              Ms. Park must have noticed his troubled face so she reaches out and holds Hoseok’s hand. “Hoseok, I’m not telling you these to pressure you. In fact, I am happy Y/N finally found someone who can listen to her and understand her, instead of watching her like a glass-cased perfect doll. I’m just telling you all these not to excuse the mistakes she has done but for you to understand where she’s coming from, especially when interacting with her can be difficult sometimes. So I hope you won’t give up on her, Hoseok. I know you’re a good kid. I just want Y/N to finally enjoy herself like every other college student out there.”

              And Hoseok, with his ever characteristic stubbornness did not give up on you.

“What do you mean I cannot state the faulty quantum mechanics in Antman to Taehyung?!” Y/N scowls at Hoseok, fingers frozen on the book she has mid-taken away from the shelf.

“Because you will break Taehyung’s heart,” Hoseok purses his lips and steps nearer to her, almost cornering her to the back of the bookshelf. “And can you lower your voice? We’re in a library.”

“For the same reason you should also back up a bit as I do not fancy you borderline sexually harrassing me.”

“Sexual harassment?!” Hoseok whisper-yells, “I’m stepping closer to you because I feel the need to whisper louder for you to get my point that you should not explain whatever Antman’s faulty quantum shit to Taehyung because that will make him angry. And sad!”

“Why will he be angry?” Y/N sticks her nose up and crosses her arms. “Shouldn’t he feel grateful I am adding heuristic value to his existing knowledge?”

Hoseok drags a hand down his face, “Well, I didn’t say you cannot explain some facts to Taehyung. I’m just saying you don’t tell him those things in a matter-of-factly way you always do because he’ll think you’re insulting him for watching such movies.”

“How should I say them then?” Y/N quips back.

Y/N learns the answer to her question before she knew she already did it. She realizes it when she gets out of her film class and Hoseok, who has been waiting for her last period to finish, asks her how did it go.

“Well, I told him 'The film Antman is quite weird.’”

“And what did he say?”

“Taehyung grinned at me and high-fived me.”

“Well then, it was successful. Much better than how you initially decided to do it,” Hoseok grins.

“But still…I called Ant Man weird, I’m still perplexed why Taehyung is pleased.”

“Calling something weird is a common expression to us,” Hoseok starts and Y/N tilts her head. Hoseok explains further, “’Weird’ can mean as a good endearing weird or an insulting ‘weird.’ If you added statistics of probability and some laws with calling something ‘weird,’ it will sound like 'Hypothesis one is proven: the movie is confirmed to be bullshit because of unquestionable proof.’ And that will appear insulting because you are not giving room for others’ opinions to be valid. It will make you look you’re belittling them if you said it that way. But today, you did not. See?” Hoseok smiles, “you do not have to state 100 percent what you really meant. Just a bit of truth you find essential for others to know is already enough for a small talk.”

Y/N nods, her lips morphed into an amused “oh.”

Hoseok grins as he puts his hands on his waist, “Trust me on this. I became Mr. Congeniality last year for a reason.”

“What does it have to do with making small talk?”

“It means, I am the expert in making small talk.”

***

“C'mon, Y/N, let’s go to the spring festival. Please, please, please, pleaseeee.”

“No, Hoseok,” Y/N pulls her hand from his grip, “I have to study for our finals.”

“But, Y/N, it’s too early for that. The finals is yet to come 'til next month! Look at me, I do not feel any pressure to study yet.”

“But that’s because you do not have any academic standing to maintain.”

Hoseok’s face falls and Y/N immediately rectifies her mistake. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, Hoseok. Of course, I know you also value your class standing, given your program and all. I’m sorry I’m being insensitive again.”

Hoseok breaks into a laugh. “Oh my god, I’m just fucking around with you! You’re partially right though, I don’t have an academic standing to maintain but a performative one. Although I still have to keep my grades up so I can continue studying here. Anyway,” Hoseok grins at Y/N, offering his hand out, “I only accept apologies in the form of accompanying me to the spring festival.”

“Fine, Hoseok,” Y/N  begrudgingly accepts his hand. But Hoseok cannot miss the small smile forming on her lips.

“Don’t fret tho,” He boops her nose and she cringes at him, “we can  insert some Q&A sessions later so you can do a bit of studying if you’d still like.”

“How will we do that?”

Y/N learns the answer to that when she finds themselves screaming from the opposite ends of the giant boat ride.

“HOSEOK, DAMN YOU!”

The boat tips and her stomach drops but all she can hear is Hoseok screaming.

“WRONG, Y/N. The answer to the drilling ship which can dig 'til the mantle of the earth IS CHIKYU! NOW, off to the next question. What are CYANOBACTERIA?!!!”

              But Hoseok does more than just sticking by Y/N’s side and not giving up on her. He falls in love with her.

              Through the months he has become Y/N’s friend, Hoseok cannot help but be endeared by her. The things about her he never thought will come as close to what he calls cute suddenly grows on him. It grows too much that he lives off every single one of them. Even if it usually ends with him getting roasted. He used to get frustrated by Y/N’s never-ending witty comebacks. Now, his heart started singing during their bicker-banters that Hoseok even started to look forward to their bickering. Y/N’s smile that Hoseok used to think was a standard horror level of creepy is now all he could dream about when he’s asleep, and even when he’s awake. The way Y/N laughs at him, or smiles when she sees him were heart-warming. Until they upped 100 million levels and now they have become cataclysmic for his heart. The way Y/N patiently teaches him his lessons, or how her science-y jokes and memes become funny was something Hoseok used to overlook as trivial. Now, he couldn’t wait for the days he’ll bring his notebooks to the library and stare at Y/N’s face while she teaches him quantum mechanics and chemical structures. 

              Y/N’s small “tokens of appreciation,” as what she called it, like her handmade ‘thank you’ cards she gives Hoseok every month, or her invitations for Hoseok to accompany her to some street event or nearby dance event, or as uneventful as a new food stall that has opened in the university were something Hoseok never put much thought on. Now, they’re Hoseok’s source of both happiness and headaches as they make his heart fly and his brain ache for thinking too much into her actions. The way Y/N looks at him like never someone else has before—so attentive and focused in everything he says as if everything that comes from his mouth has so much worth listening to. Even if it’s a disgusting tale of how he almost shitted his pants before their science exam because he didn’t listen to Jimin when he told him to stop binge-eating spicy wings as a coping mechanism to stress, Y/N listens. This used to be something Hoseok treats as his special privilege as her friend. But now, it has become a national treasure he does not want to share with others. Especially with Namjoon, his roommate, whom Y/N managed to befriend because the former is a Biology major who’s on the same level as Y/N’s intellectual prowess. God, Hoseok cannot even count on his hands the number of times he’s been conflicted if it was jealousy on Namjoon’s effortless way to make Y/N laugh, or petty anger because he cannot even understand their jokes. 

              Hoseok doesn’t know how or why he suddenly felt all of these things for Y/N. It just happened. And so is how he accidentally blurted it out to her during one of their conversations, despite Jimin and Taehyung’s adamant warnings not to ask her out.

              "And whenever I use the microscope in my room, I’m always scared turning the coarse knob so much. It will be horrifying to see the objective lens break the slide and the coverslip.”

              “Y/N, I like you.”

              YN’s jaw goes slack and she stares at him, eyes wide. Hoseok almost feels perspiration dot his entire hairline for what feels like ten whole minutes in purgatory. Will Y/N leave? Will she scream at him, laugh at him even for his audacity? Will she reject him? Of course she will, what is he thinking? Taehyung and Jimin are right. Y/N is smart and he is too dumb for her to even fulfill at least an ounce of her standards. Y/N is respectable and he is a shameless clown–

              “I…am allowing you to be sexually attracted to me, Hoseok.”

              “W-what?”

              “I said,” Y/N looks straight into his eyes, “I am giving you permission to like me, Hoseok.”

              Hoseok balks. “P-permission? W-why do I need permission?”

              “Because, if you’re going to like me, I need you to know I am acknowledging your sexual attraction to me seriously,” Y/N stands up, putting her hands in the pockets of your coat. “It will be a waste if you do not want a long-term commitment. I do not have time to dwell on anything less than that.”

              Lucky for Y/N, so does Hoseok and he wastes no time proving it to her. For the course of six months, Hoseok courts her in the most possible best Hoseok-way. Y/N lived the majority of her life within suffocating walls surrounded by academics, titles, honors, and people waiting for her to fall. Hoseok wanted to take her with him on a break (and a possible future lifestyle) away from them all. So he takes Y/N to carnivals, dance events, and festivals–ranging from streets decorated in cheap glowing lanterns to grander events that have remarkable fireworks displays.

              Hoseok shows Y/N himself at his most vulnerable and strongest. He lets her watch him perform alone in practice rooms as he expresses the things muddled in his head, things he never dares to say to anyone else. Y/N’s been with him when he broke down due to his anxiety concerning his not-so-impressive acads. She was also with him in his embarrassing drunk adventures. Hell, Y/N even participated in his crew’s weird end-of-the-sem party. She let Hoseok dress them two like the two robbers from Home Alone–complete with the rageddy cut gloves and dirty face makeup. But, Y/N has also seen Hoseok’s crew’s successful university tours, the exclusive events he got invited to, and his dance recitals that got many theater and entertainment scouts crowding the room he’s dancing in.

              Hoseok shows all of himself to Y/N. Willingly and so transparently, that in turn, she started to show him her self, too. Y/N let him see her in her utter glory. She let him see her receiving awards from various electronics competitions and exhibitions, her creating the first demo of her portable printer and scanner machine that earned many positive reviews from numerous investors, and her getting featured in not just the university’s newspaper or any other school’s newspapers, but the city’s news for a composting machine she invented. And, Y/N also let Hoseok see her at her worst. She let him see her get told off by one of the people she had unconsciously insulted in the hallways, her failing her Communication GE classes, and her having a panic attack when her parents announced yet again another party of scholars who wish to see what she’s been up to lately.

              These things made Y/N realize Hoseok was serious about her and she, in return, has started to cherish the golden boy who would never leave her alone for the day until she’s crying from sheer laughter and happiness.

              However, it is the small things Hoseok does that really really gets to her.

              Hoseok remembers the small details Y/N slips in during their conversations.

“Hey, you are not supposed to eat that,” a fork clashes with Y/N’s own, preventing her from reaching the delectable dish.

“This pasta?” Y/N looks up at Hoseok.

“It has chopped shrimps. I asked Seokjin about it and he said it has prawns.” Hoseok grabs Y/N’s hand and leads her to the other side of the buffet. There, he gets her pasta with white sauce, this time, garnished in bacon. “Here, eat this, instead. It may not taste like the one with the shrimp but at least you won’t get allergies and you can enjoy the rest of the night instead of chilling out at the hospital watching sad re-runs of The Big Bang Theory.”

***

“Hoseok, you won’t believe how fascinating my yield turned out to be, like–Hoseok, what are you doing?

Hoseok pauses in his fumbling and blinks at Y/N. He looks down back at his bag and sighs. “I was hoping to keep this a surprise but oh well.”

He pulls up something from his bag and Y/N’s left gaping when he hands her a box of baked cookies. He rubs his neck, the tip of his ears reddening under her  gaze. “I remember you telling me it’s been a while since you ate cookies. My mom baked a lot for us so here, have some. I know you’re on some ridiculous diet your parents told you to take. But I hope you could give yourself a cheat day and just eat and enjoy the day. Your parents aren’t here.”

              Hoseok never fails to check up on her.

“Hey, how long have you been hunched over your desk now?” Hoseok’s voice blares from Y/N’s phone’s speakers and she sighs.

“About five hours now, I think?”

“Okay. Why don’t you take a break for ten minutes before going back to the grind? You told me your back is being an ass to you for two weeks now. Give it some rest. Also, drink some water.”

“Okay mom, will do,” Y/N chuckles over the line.

“Okay my daughter,” Hoseok sing-songs and she snorts. “I’ll call later and check up on you. Don’t dare to not take a break. I know where your dorm is and I’ll break into your window if I have to.”

“Okay, okay, will do, my personal health support system.”

“Glad to be of your service, ma'am.”

***

Y/N sighs as she throws her bag onto her bed. Today is a beat day. Mr. David was sour and he poured all his frustration on their class by giving out unnecessary lectures instead of teaching the new lesson. Y/N guesses she’ll have to self-study again for a quiz the prof has irrationally scheduled for tomorrow. And oh, Ms. Peterson also gave out a heavy paper late. It will force Y/N to cram for it in two days as submission date is just the day after tomorrow. Why is every deadline piling up today? It’s not yet even finals week yet!

Y/N plops onto her desk with a heavy sigh. She’ll end up having to do an all-nighter again — wait, what’s that doing there? There’s a pack of sandwiches in a clear food container sitting on top of her desk, beside her notebooks. Y/N doesn’t remember buying one or requesting her rommate, Jae In, to buy her one. Curious, she picked it up and turned it around. That’s when Y/N sees a yellow post-it attached on the plastic container.

“Hey Y/N. I thought of you today and decided to make you a sandwich. This is edible, I assure you. I asked my cooking mama friend Seokjin to come over and help me. Eat this snack before you do your work. I know you always start work right after coming home from your classes. I hope you eat on time and not skip on meals.

With super duper mega love,

Hoseok 😘”

              And Hoseok helps Y/N to the best he can, whenever he can, especially about things she’s passionate about but no one takes time to really understand.

"Hey Y/N,” Hoseok greets as he plops down next to her seat in the library.

“Hoseok?” Y/N glances up at him, eyes wide, “What are you doing here? You told me you have practice today.”

“Eh, the members cancelled on me today.  And also, I’ve missed you, so I figured why not visit you.” Hoseok grins at her and she momentarily forgets how to breathe. Y/N doesn’t know when Hoseok started to have that effect on her, it just happened. And although it is starting to be an inconvenience regarding how she becomes a nervous wreck under his gaze, she weirdly cannot find herself complaining against it. 

Hoseok leans forward, breaking her trance. “Now, what should we study today?”

“Uh-uhm, cellular mechanisms. I wanted to learn more about cancer cells.”

“Cellular mechanisms it is, then. Want me to help you make diagrams?”

Y/N nods and Hoseok grins, “I see the skills of artist Hoseok is not about to die anytime soon, eh?”

***

“How does that work, Y/N?”

“Well, it converts the mechanical energy from every step you take into electrical energy. It’s not yet finished so I’m still figuring out how many more parts I need for this to work. My previous demos have a lot of mistakes.” Right at the same time, a bolt pops off. Y/N runs a hand over her face, “And a lot of malfunctioning parts.”

Hoseok scratches his head. “I don’t know about any energy conversions but I know how to screw well?”

“Is that a question or a statement?”

“A-a statement. I can fix what we have for now while you revise your design. Whaddya think?”

“That sounds good.” Y/N turns around and heads for her blue prints. But before she can pick up her measuring materials, she turns back to Hoseok, meeting his gaze as he’s mid-picking up a screw driver.

“Thank you, Hoseok for assisting me on this. I know it’s just a personal project and I may be taking too much of your time when you should probably be resting at your dorm.”

“Pssh, you’re not taking too much of my time. I am enjoying my time with you. Also, it’s not just a personal project. It is a personal project so of course, it deserves to have gigantic importance to you. And it will turn out great because I know it will. Now go let’s get these revisions done so we can do another test run.”

              Hoseok has been a wonderful friend, an amazing supporter, and a sincere person who never feels ashamed of showing Y/N what he felt. That is all she needed for her not to doubt anymore and accept his confession.

              “Hey, Y/N,” Hoseok huffs, hands tucked deep in his red parka. “Why did you  tell me to meet up in the park? It’s cold out. Can’t it wait 'til tomorrow?”

              “No, it cannot,” Y/N faces the man, brows scrunched, her lips red from the number of times she has bitten it. “Hoseok, there’s something I need to tell you.”

              “W-what is it?”

              “I…am reciprocating yo-your profession of your sexual attraction to me.”

              “What?”

              “I said, I am reciprocating–” Y/N’ bites her lip and closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she gives Hoseok the most focused stare she can ever give. “Hoseok, I am accepting your love confession. I like you, too.”

              Hoseok stares at Y/N, eyes wide, mouth agape. And for too long that Y/N thought the cold must have frozen him all over.

              “Hoseok, why are you staring like that? I am telling you, I like you too–hmppf!”

              Hoseok is kissing her, his lips pressed softly against hers in a gentle peck. Before Y/N could process things in her head about what to do when the boy she likes started kissing her, Hoseok is already coaxing her lips to dance with his. And before long, Y/N is returning him a kiss with the same ardor as his. It’s not like her to suddenly make out with someone so publicly. Hell, it’s not even like her to kiss someone with such passion that the warmth she feels on her chest comes close as to the heat of the sun. But as Y/N stays in Hoseok’s embrace in the middle of the frosted park which contrasts their warm chests, everything just feels so right.

              So right, as if fate just planned this very night for the two of them. Because, as their kiss comes into an end, Y/N and Hoseok both jolt at the drop of wetness that land on their heads. Y/N looks up and sees the familiar soft white snow falling from the dark night sky. The first snow. Right then deja vu sets in of how it was just one year ago she met this giggling boy in front of her at the very same time of the year.

              “I guess the universe wants us to be together, too.” Hoseok smiles.

              Y/N grins at him and sinks deeper into his embrace. “As preposterous that sounds given that the universe is, literally speaking, a no-higher living being, it is more preposterous that I am finding myself agreeing to and blushing because of this.”

              “I can’t understand what you said but I think it means you like it too so I’m deciding this is one of the best blush-worthy moments I ever had,” Hoseok kisses the top of Y/N’s head, “and whatever you say won’t stop me from taking back what I said.” Y/N nuzzles her nose against his chest, smiling at the way she cannot tell her heartbeat apart from his–the beats beneath their chests in sync despite the incongruity in her words.

***

              Loving Hoseok is easy. He is charming, generous, understanding, and everything Y/N ever wanted. Even more, nothing really changed from their friendship, just the addition of cheesy pick-up lines, sweet kisses here and there, hot make-out sessions which more often than not escalate into passionate (and very amazing) love-making. And Y/N loves her relationship with him as well for this. Because even if Hoseok succeeds in making her a soft mush for him, she cannot live her life without having him be the best-est friend she could ever have in her life.

              But from all the things Y/N loves about Hoseok, her most favorite has to be his utter transparency. What she sees in him, is what she gets. Hoseok is unabashed in proclaiming his feelings for her. He does not get embarrassed in showing Y/N his love for her. And, Hoseok does not keep secrets from her. He just willingly tells everything about him to her, no euphemisms, no lies. Y/N guesses this is probably the reason why their fights never last too long. Moreover, this quality of his makes up for Y/N’s inability to effectively express her thoughts and feelings. He taught Y/N pure utter honesty that so many people have stigmatized for naivety, but actually felt so amazing. He also taught Y/N to trust and let down her walls for people so they can be able to love her. Hoseok inspires and motivates Y/N to become a better version of herself, not only for the sake of others, but also for herself, and she cannot be grateful enough for that. 

              Titles didn’t matter with Hoseok, with Y/N, and their relationship. What only matters is their labels for each other–boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers loved and in love. Hoseok does not encrypt his messages in a way that would match Y/N’s mental capacity – He just talks with her like the way he is, nonsense and eggplant emojis and all. Hoseok does not burden Y/N with heavy, unreasonable expectations. He just loves her and lets her be whatever she wants. He just stays by Y/N’s side as she freely learns from and works on her mistakes like every flawed human being. With Hoseok, Y/N knew what she deserves and she started to live her life the way she has always dreamed of–so flawed but so perfectly Y/N L/N who is unafraid of what the future may bring to her.

              However, not everyone cannot fully comprehend Y/N’s relationship with Hoseok. Loving Hoseok may be easy but the environment surrounding their relationship is an entirely opposite scenario. For Hoseok’s and Y/N’s disregard of titles, does not guarantee everyone else around their relationship will do the same.

              Y/N’s relationship with Hoseok spread throughout the campus like a Jeffree Star fight-controversy with another YouTuber in 2x speed. The entire university has gone berserk yet again, unable to fathom how someone who shines so bright like Hoseok can be together with someone like Y/N who dims other’s lights. And for other people, they cannot understand how such a happy-go-lucky academically-challenged student like Hoseok can even amuse such no-shit, genius brain of Y/N.

              Almost everyone has something to say about their relationship. And, most often than not, they are negative. It didn’t help anything in their relationship as Y/N is already insecure as to why Hoseok even chose her when he can have any woman he wished. Y/N knows she’s difficult to be with. She struggles with expressing her feelings and thoughts. She even feels like she’s making things too hard for Hoseok. You see, Y/N’s a safe player. In whatever grounds she’s in — academics, social life, family ties — she  always plays safe. Y/N finds it hard to not be so, especially when all her life, she has been groomed to be a person well-liked by everybody else — a person safe from any negative impression that may tarnish her reputation. So, when things get a little bit too hard with Hoseok, Y/N finds herself automatically heading for the exit.

              Just like in one Wednesday night in August. Y/N had her fair share of fights with Hoseok. From the difficulties that tie with his popularity, her inability to show her feelings to him that sometimes makes him question her love, his procrastination and occasional lack of care for his academics, her nature to obsess over her studies that she tends to forget herself and everyone around her, to his numerous female friends who have the audacity to still flirt with him even if they all know he’s dating her — Y/N and Hoseok have fought about them all within their seven months of dating. And sure, they were already pretty bad fights given that they were immensely serious with Y/N and Hoseok ending up screaming at each other, giving each other cold shoulders, and ignoring each other for at most (usually) five days. But this Wednesday night was not like any of ther previous fights. Because this time, Y/N told Hoseok she wanted to break up with him.

              “Will you stop for a second, Y/N?!”

              Y/N swiftly turns around, tears brimming her swollen red eyes, “What do you want, Hoseok? I already said what I need to say. I am tired of constantly being the bad guy whenever we fight. I am tired of this, of you. I want to break up.”

              “No, you don’t mean that,” Hoseok almost cries. He looks equally devastated as her — swollen eyes, pale face, trembling fingers. “N-no, you don’t mean that,” he repeats, this time, his voice breaking.

              “Of course I mean them, Hoseok,” Y/N spits, “I never say things I do not mean. You know me.”

              “I know you,” Hoseok retorts, “that’s why I am telling you right now you don’t mean telling me you’re tired of our relationship, of me. That you want to b-break up. B-because you’re Y/N,” he breathes out. “You seem cold but you actually care. You do not speak your thoughts or feelings aloud but act on them. Okay, maybe you speak them out, but you say it in a way most people do not understand so that still does not count. But, Y/N,” Hoseok reaches for her hand before she can even think of shaking off his hold, “I know you love me. Deep inside the deepest of your hypothalamus, like you said, I believe you love me. Or else, you wouldn’t stay when I told you to watch me dance alone, frustrated with the world. You wouldn’t put in effort befriending Taehyung and Jimin despite knowing what they all said about you in the past. You wouldn’t have told me you wanted to come with me to my hometown and meet my family for my dad’s birthday. And,” Hoseok looks down at his feet, “you wouldn’t have stayed with me this long knowing how annoying I can be and what everyone else has to say about us. So please, Y/N. Just please…stay. Let’s talk it out together. Don’t just break up with me. Please don’t just l-leave me alone.”

              When Hoseok looks up at Y/N, it is with his brows scrunched together, eyes glazed over, and form almost kneeling in front of her. He holds her hands so tight, but yet so gentle, as if afraid if he clasped her fingers tighter, it will be too suffocating that she’ll slip away from him. He just looks at her and she cannot help but return his gaze. Y/N realizes right then, it may have been a bad decision to do so. For all she could see in his eyes is her reflection. Her and only her. It even seems as if he’s trying to keep the entirety of her as vivid as a memory can be. And maybe it’s because it’s the way he unabashedly tells her everything he loves about her. Or the way he remembers every single detail about her. Or how he knows her so well despite their relationship blooming at such a young age. But, they are all enough for Y/N to hold his hands tighter and let him engulf HER in his arms.

              “H-Hobi–”

              “S-see? You even still call me like that,” Hoseok mutters above her head and Y/N bites her lip as she clutches onto his jacket tighter.

              “Hobi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean them. I’m not tired of you. I’m not tired of u-us. I do not want to break up with you. Not at all. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Y/N lets out a sob and Hoseok hugs her tighter, running a hand over her hair, knowing it calms her down. “It’s just that everything’s been too much lately. The-the way your friends–”

              “What did they do?” Hoseok’s voice deepens close into a low growl. Y/N gulps. “Please tell me, Y/N,” Hoseok says softly as he cups her face in his warm hands. Y/N bites her lip and looks away. She does not want to be that type of girlfriend who instigates a fight between their significant other and their friends. She does not want Hoseok to have a bad blood with people he cares about. But then, Y/N remembers their fight two months ago. That night when she confronted Hoseok about the consecutive late nights he has spent in the practice room, neglecting his studies and even his own health for the past two weeks. The moment Y/N cornered him about it, Hoseok broke down and told her everything — how he lacked the motivation to perform well in his recitals and how his course adviser told him to pull his shit together before he fucks up the nearing international dance competition.

“She told me that I’m dating you right now but why can’t I even pull my shit together like you do. That she doesn’t understand why you’re even dating me when you can date far more competent guys. That sooner or later, you’re going to break up with me. Because,” Hoseok sighs and smiles, but it doesn’t reach his cheeks, a tear slipping down them instead, “look at me. I’m so sloppy. I’m such a loser—”

“No, you’re not!” Y/N interrupts him and Hoseok jolts. “You…you’re not a loser. Sloppy, yes, sometimes,” Hoseok winces and Y/N grabs his arms and pulls him toward her so she can hug him tight. “Hoseok, listen to me. I’m your lover. No one else’s but yours. I love you and I will not leave you. I do not care about other guys, if they are more competent or whatever. After all, competency is just a social construct designed to promote the societal standards that aim for conformity.” Y/N disentangles herself from him to cup his face in her hands. “Hoseok, you are not a loser. And, you’ll never be.  How can you be at least an inch of one? You were the one who led countless competitions which won our university so many awards. Almost ALL the trophies in our campus’ Hall of Honor were all thanks to you. You were the one who helped our fashion design majors  grab an opportunity with various labels after your runway a year ago became viral. You were also the one responsible for resurrecting countless dead orgs with actually good goals. They even received rewards from the local government because of the projects you arranged! You’re not a loser, Hobi. In fact, you are the opposite of loser. It’s just your prof is an ungrateful bitch, demeaning you like that when you’ve brought glory to her name as your program adviser. What a fucking asshole, I could have punched her in the face and—”

Hoseok detaches his lips from hers and smiles. “I can’t believe I’m starting to rub off of you. You just said your first curse word. Two even!”

“Damn you, Hoseok. I’m being serious.”

“And so am I. Thank you for cheering me up, Y/N. This is why I love you so much!”

              Hoseok has always been honest to Y/N and she decides it’s only right for her to do the same.

              Y/N looks up at him. “Nayeon, Sungyoon, and…Sara cornered me yesterday and I thought it will be about what you are recently up to. Why you were absent at yesterday’s practice. It turned out they did this high school toxic open-forum-like session where they told me all my shits and why I shouldn’t hang out you. They said you were no longer the Hoseok you used to be because I kept dragging you down. That I…do not deserve you and you should be with girls like you. And you know what, I thought so, too. Because, you have far better things ahead from you than tying you down here with me.”

              “No one can tell what you deserve or not, Y/N,” Hoseok retorts. “Only you can. And, I know what you are thinking right now maybe the opposite of what you really think about yourself. But if I could help, I think you totally deserve me. Even more than that, honestly. Because, Y/N, you are not tying me down anywhere.  In fact you are tying me up. Not literally but figuratively. Okay” Hoseok closes his eyes, “I know it doesn’t make sense—whatever I say doesn’t make sense on the regular basis, so what’s the difference—but, what I mean to say is, Y/N, you are keeping me afloat. You are keeping my head up from the expectations and shitstorms that is plaguing me. You are helping me stay alive and keep pushing through all the difficulties I face. And for that, I am eternally grateful for you. So,” Hoseok smiles, “do not let anything anyone else says about us get to you. Because, they don’t really know anything about me and they very much don’t know anything about you. They don’t get to judge. Not when they do not know how it feels to have the most amazing angel by your side.”

              Y/N scrunches her face at him but she hugs him tight nevertheless. “Must you always be this cheesy and cringey?”

              “Only for you, baby,” Y/N could feel Hoseok grin from the top of her head. “Also, I’m gonna have a talk with those girls so expect apologies coming your way. And if things go the other way,” Hoseok clicks his tongue, “expect a decrease in my friends.”

              However, everything Hoseok spouted is easier said than done. Because truth be told, Hoseok thinks it is him who actually doesn’t deserve Y/N. She is intelligent but so is she kind. She’s mature and it is usually her who does most of the helping and progressing in their relationship. Most of all, it is more realistic to say, Y/N is the one who has far greater things ahead than him. And it became clearer to him the night she took him with her to her family’s home for one of her parents’ parties.

              Y/N countlessly told Hoseok she didn’t need to attend it. She even highly advised him not to come with her. But Hoseok has forever been stubborn so of course when he told Y/N he wanted to meet her family, he did every bit of convincing that get him to where he is now — shaken and lost in the middle of a fucking science exhibit of a party. The night actually started out well.  He introduced himself to every member of the L/N family, even distant ones who stayed in the farthest, most unnoticeable corners of Y/N’s house. Y/N’s family members welcomed him with smiles and actively talked with him. Her parents even handed him his plate of food themselves and invited him to spend Christmas with them.

              It only started going downhill when it was time for the main event of the party—the what-have-you-been-up-to lately segment or what Y/N would like to call the “let the best bragger win.” Everyone started spewing their achievements for the year in a fashion that challenges the other party to disclose their far greater successes. Which, ultimately, insult the others for their lack of any. The party felt as if it was a battlefield with every member of Y/N’s family pitting their achievements against each other, no matter what context they are in—even if they are not of the same category to even compare. Next thing Hoseok knew, he was being dragged into the center of the conversation, with Y/N’s father asking him to tell his “revolutionary thoughts.”

              Hoseok tried his best. He really did. He had recalled every lesson he learned in his Science-related GEs and even tried to apply them in the academic journals he saw Y/N reading. That’s why he doesn’t understand why every single time he opens his mouth, Y/N’s entire family is laughing at him. Is the Dual Nucleus Association found in fingerprints that funny? Hoseok didn’t take too long to ponder on it, for the next second, a hand is pulling him to the front doors of the L/N house. It takes another second for Hoseok to register Y/N was the one who’s dragging him onto the street in angry stomps.

              “Y/N! Why did we go out?” Hoseok pulls on her arm, “We have to come back! It will be rude to your parents! I don’t want to leave a bad impression y’know–”

              “It doesn’t matter, Hoseok!” Y/N whirls around, distraught, and Hoseok only notices just now her glazed eyes. Y/N chokes out, “Leaving an impression on them doesn’t matter because we have to get out NOW.”

              “What? No, Y/N! That’s not appropriate! I–”

              “Then is it appropriate for my parents and relatives’ to blatantly insult you right in your face?”

                 Hoseok takes a step back, “What? But they were laughing at me there. I guess my jokes are–”

                 “Hoseok, they were mocking you in there. We both hell know the fingerprint DNA trivia you were telling them is not a joke.”

                “But your father said the Dual Nucleus Association I muttered was revolutionary and funny.”

                Y/N closes her eyes as she releases a staggered sigh, “Hoseok, ‘revolutionary’ in my father’s dictionary meant ‘stupid.’” Hoseok scrunches his brows and Y/N breathes out, wishing she could let out as well the aggravation and loathing for her parents she has kept inside for so long. “He was making fun of you, Hobi. DNA does not stand for Dual Nucleus Association. It’s Deoxyribonucleic Acid. My father fucking knew what this means because he took a PhD in Microbiology and he didn’t even have the heart to correct you. He even put you up in front of everybody else and humiliate you without you even noticing it.”

                “W-what?”

                Y/N sighs for the nth time as she reaches for his hands. “Hoseok, I’m sorry I left you alone. This whole time, I didn’t know you were in my father’s care. It’s just that my cousin came to me and asked desperately for help about the verbal abuse he experiences at home. The way he asked for my help, I knew he’s about to-to blow up sooner or later. So I immediately went to his aid. And I guess I got so preoccupied trying to make him calm without triggering his panic attacks that I…did not see where you stayed in the party. Worse, I didn't fucking even know you were with my parents. I know this is not enough of an excuse and I have been a shitty girlfriend tonight. So I’m sorry, Hoseok. I’m deeply so so sorry. And right now, I’m trying to make up for my mistakes by telling you we should leave. Now. I cannot let any of them insult you more,” Y/N’s voice breaks and she raises her hand to wipe a tear that has cascaded down her cheeks, “I cannot, Hoseok, for so help me God, I will march over there and declare I want to denounce myself as a L/N.”

                Hoseok doesn’t reply. He just nods at her and looks down at his feet. Y/N gulps down the anxiety building up in her larynx as she leads the two of them to the car he rented. She opts for the driver’s seat and hits the gas. Within minutes, the two of them are enveloped by the silent nightscape, a stark contrast to the cacophony of pride in her house.

                “Hoseok,” the man turns to the sound of Y/N’s voice. “W-what else did my father say to you?”

                Hoseok starts to fumble with the loose thread of his navy suit jacket. “Do you…really want to hear it?”

                “Is it that bad?”

                “Well, I-your dad questioned my ability to provide for you in the future. Because of my major and aspirations and all.”

                Y/N turns to him, aghast, “What?! Why would he even say that? What, he started to forget women’s abilities to revert back to the traditional patriarchal views?! Fuck him!”

                “I knew you would say that,” Hoseok says, chuckling softly. Y/N faces him again, this time perplexed as to why he is laughing. Hoseok reads her look and he clears his throat.

                “When you told me I was being insulted in the party, I will admit I am offended. But, before that, during an earlier talk with your father, I was not the least bit upset.” Hoseok meets your eyes. “That time, I was scared. Immensely shit-scared.”

                “I should have come to you first, not my cousin–”

                “No, let me finish first.” Hoseok purses his lips. He then looks out of the car window, at the scarce stars on the sky. “I knew we are far apart from each other. It was obvious even before we got together. Hell, I do not even get the memes you send to me when we first started out as friends. Sometimes, I even get insecure that even if you are not really bestfriends with Namjoon, he seems to get everything you tell me you found at the lab. Just by listening to our conversations, he understands them all. So effortlessly at that. I even have to plead him to tutor me and dumb-translate the science-y things you tell me, while I dry my brains out trying to understand them. But when I talked with your father, tonight, how he reiterated your status and skills and their difference from mine…I have never been this scared in my life.   Scared that what he said will come true—that you will realize how someone like me can never truly understand you ‘til the long run. That you will get tired of slowing your pace down for me…That you will eventually find someone more compatible with you–who also has a much more stable future ahead of just an aspiring dancer.” Hoseok turns toY/N and he reaches out for her left hand, her free hand. He clasps them in his hands and looks up at her, “But, I swear Y/N, I promise I will do my best. Your father may not be convinced but I want you to know. That I will do my best for you, Y/N. I will learn more for you. I will understand you more. I will improve my reputation into a much more respectable one. Hell, I can quit dance if I have to.”

              Y/N gives Hoseok a pained look. “No, Hoseok, you will not quit dance. I do not want you to quit dance. It will be too unfair for you and I know you will regret it.”

              Hoseok sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah…that sounds easier said than done.”

              “You don’t have to do those things for me,” Y/N squeezes his hand, making him look back to her. “I actually enjoy helping you learn. I love that you goof off the way you want because when you do that, I am reminded people like you still exist today — people who are not afraid of being themselves. Because of that, you inspire me to live more. I also love that you put in the time learning the things I’m saying because it means you genuinely are interested about my thoughts and you are not afraid of women being smarter than you — something most guys fail at. But that’s because most of them are misogynistic, prideful men on their high horses. And, I know you’re not like that. Most of all, I love it when you dance. Because through it you freely express every bit of your emotion. Because, you’re transparent, Hoseok. You’re an open book and I like it the best because you don’t leave me hanging, confused, troubled, and worried about what you’re feeling, especially when you know I am already bad at reading emotions. You are my stable ground, Hoseok. You make me feel safe. And despite the bad fights we’ve been through, I know you’re always doing your best. How can we stay this long if not for you being the brighter one between us when it comes to communicating, knowing that splitting because of things that can be solved will only result in one hell of a horrible mistake?” Y/N turns to Hoseok and he looks at her with his mouth agape, eyes blown wide. She smiles at this. “You have to know you’re more than enough, Hoseok. Like you said,” her smile grows wider, “no one can tell us what we deserve or not but ourselves. And with this, I know and feel that I deserve you, Hoseok. And you, me. What do you say?”

              Hoseok’s response to that was not of a verbal one but a physical one—one that involved a feverish kiss on Y/N’s lips, and her jawline that led Y/N to park the car by the empty gasoline station. Feather-light kisses, desperate hands to grab each other as close as they can be to each other, Y/N indulges in Hoseok and him in her in a passionate love that burned so bright it rivals the sun. The only words that transpire during that fateful night was “I love you’s” and for Y/N and Hoseok, they are more than enough of an anchor of him to her and her to him as waves of obstacles come in your way.

              All of these moments with Y/N have accumulated into Hoseok’s most wonderful memories in his life. And he still replays them in his head as another year of being her lover passes. Of course, problems never failed to arise as they manage their relationship. But, the ones caused by the comments of everyone in the university have lessened as Y/N and Hoseok have now graduated. Hoseok has left the university after he graduated, while Y/N stayed in the university as she applied for a Master’s degree in civil engineering. 

             Y/N still lives in her dorm for the convenience of teaching in the campus and studying after work. Meanwhile, Hoseok lived in an apartment in the city, close to the prestigious dance studio he works at. Their schedules are most often than not, amiss, and the distance between them can be sometimes frustrating. However, what remains the biggest obstacle is everyone’s opinions about the two of them. Sure, they were not as restrictive as what the two of them have experienced in the university. But it didn’t mean it hurt less when people say how they never thought someone as fun as Hoseok will choose someone so boring like Y/N, or how Hoseok’s intellect was a down-grader for her respectable reputation, saying she has a tasteless choice in choosing partners. Although these problems may get a little overwhelming, the two of them never let them get in between their relationship. 

              Hence, Y/N and Hoseok are still madly in love like the first year they have started dating. So in love that Hoseok felt it is now the time to propose to Y/N. For anymore day without her officially bounded with him, when you already own every piece of his heart, is something Hoseok cannot take any longer. He wants Y/N to be his partner for the years to come, his significant other for forever, and the only person he wakes up to and sees last in his day and nights for the rest of his entire life. Hoseok knows this and he has never been surer in his life.

              This is the reason why Hoseok is where he is today: clad in an ugly Christmas sweater and mismatched socks, with a troubled look on his face. Hoseok may have only realized he wanted to marry Y/N in late November, but he was able to make an intricate proposal plan to execute before this year can end. Today is Y/N’s free day and he has classes that have ended early. Lucky for him, Jimin is free to take her out for some last-minute gift-shopping in the afternoon so Hoseok can have ample time to decorate Y/N’s dorm with hearts and diagrams of the hypothalamus (because “No, Hoseok, we do not say I love you from the deepest corner of my heart, but from the hypothalamus. We do not feel from the heart. It just pumps us blood”).  Hoseok will have the gifts he bought for Y/N delivered that very same day to complete his decorations (and to also spoil her even more). He will cook Y/N her favorite dishes and make her hot cocoa even though he very much likes eggnog more, just because she likes the sweet chocolate beverage. He even requested his orchestra friends Yoongi, Jinyoung, Seokjin, and Sandeul, to play Jingle Bell Rock (“in cursive”) on the far side of the hallway so when Jimin drops Y/N off, she can have her favorite Christmas song as her background music when she steps inside her room and gets surprised.

              That is why when his heart and hypothalamus decorations actually looked shit, the arrival of the gifts was delayed ‘til tomorrow, and the meals he cooked looked inedible—not to say the hot choco looked like a mess too and totally un-aesthetic—Hoseok finds himself frozen in his place next to Y/N’s Christmas tree, looking as if he was constipated for ten days. Worse, his girlfriend is already standing by her door frame, kicking the door close like it was just any other day. 

              Y/N hangs her coat on the hanger and puts her shopping bags on top of her wide cabinet. She nonchalantly glances at him, “Hoseok, what are you doing there?”

              Hoseok feels sweat run down his face in waterfalls. If Y/N is surprised he was standing stupidly next to her tree, she did not show it. But right now, Hoseok’s concern is her seeing the decorations he made chucked in a large paper bag he hid behind the tree at the last minute. Of course, it is poorly hidden. He plays with the collar of his sweater “I…um, I–”

              “Nevermind. I guess this is one of our spontaneous date nights you ironically always plan. You should inform me next time, you know, so I can prepare for you as well,” Y/N smiles at him. “Come sit with me.” She walks to the sofa by the Christmas tree and pats the seat next to her. Hoseok scrambles to sit beside her and tries not to look like the dumbest fool in the world. Y/N did not get surprised, the orchestra’s music is barely heard inside as the cold wind of early winter overrides it, and he looks totally shit. How can he propose to her now, huh? All of his plans are ruined!

              “Di-did you eat already?” Hoseok asks, hands sweaty on his sweatpants. “I made you your favorite.”

              “Umm…yeah,” Y/N bites her lip, guilty. “I was already hungry before Jimin and I can finish our shopping and I really felt a great need to devour some pizza today.” She reaches for her small satchel and produces a folded paper bag. “I saved some for you. We can eat it later while we watch Netflix.”

              “O-okay,” Hoseok nervously laughs. His eyes land on the pink mug on the dining table. He looks back at Y/N, “D-do you want to drink something? I made you hot cocoa.”

              “Ooh, I’ll drink it later. I just had a sweet choco milkshake before I got here,” Y/N bites her lips again in guilt. “I’m sorry, Hoseok, I didn’t know you prepared these stuff for me. If I had known sooner I would have never even stepped out of my dorm today.”

              “It’s okay,” Hoseok pulls a smile and he tries not to look a tad bit upset about the failure of his plans, because he knows Y/N will immediately recognize that look.

              And, he wasn’t wrong. “Why, Hobi?” Y/N cups his face to make him turn to her, “did I do something wrong?

              “No,” Hoseok looks away. “It’s just, my plans…didn’t work out today.”

              “What plans?”

              Hoseok immediately feels his ass on fire. Did he just almost give himself away? He cannot just blurt out he wants to marry her! He wanted it to be special and he cannot have that happen in just her dorm with his shitty-looking outfit and almost-burned food. He wants Y/N to remember this day and he ain’t taking the risk of letting any bad memories mess up his proposal. And so, Hoseok sighs and decides he has to abort the plan and schedule it some other day. He’s just gonna make an excuse for now. “Well, I just thought we can make this random Thursday special y’know? Keep up with the aim of my spontaneous dates–good surprises making life much better without needing a reason to be. So I just made some food and stuff for the fun of it. It’s just a normal day surprise.”

              “Oh, then I’m glad today is really spontaneous dates today. I may have…foiled your plans, but look, I happened to have a surprise for you!”

              Hoseok tilts his head, “What is it?”

              Y/N grins at him before turning around and fumbles for something in her bag. Then the next second, Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe is suddenly blaring loud from her phone.

              “Y/N, did you seriously just play Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe in speaker mode?”

              “Oh, don’t be an in-denial bitch. I know this is your favorite Christmas song. A good song has to create the aesthetic and mood for tonight,” Y/N chuckles, “Here, Hoseok, my present for you.” She hands him a box wrapped in a fancy green sparkling wrapper with a red bow tied around it. It was medium-sized, enough for one of his favorite KAWS models to fit inside.

              “Present?” Hoseok asks, feeling both joy and guilt respectively swell in his heart and pit in his stomach. Joy, because Y/N is to add another model to his growing collection. And guilt, because he didn’t bring her anything worth the same as her gift. But as he tears open the box, another fancy green box just stares back at him. He looks up at Y/N with squinted eyes. “I see what you did there, sneaky missy.”  She just chuckles at him and Hoseok continues to unbox her gift, only to have another box inside. Hoseok wonders what made Y/N think of doing this infamous wrapping technique for her gift when she wasn’t even that much into wrapping gifts. She always just give him gifts in standard wrapping paper, messily taped all over around. Moreover, what even is her gift and how small does it have to be? Because now, Hoseok’s hands are getting tired of unboxing box after box and the gift is now currently the size of a stress ball!

              “Y/N, can you just tell me your gift? I’m getting tired. I can open it tomorrow instead and we can just get straight to Netflix tonight.”

              “No, Hoseok,” Y/N laughs, patting his shoulders. “Keep unboxing.”

              Hoseok continues forth with the unboxing and his heart starts to sink to his stomach as the box got smaller and smaller. This is probably a prank. One to get back at him for telling Y/N last year he bought her her favorite gift for their monito event with Jimin, Taehyung, and Namjoon. Only for him to arrive with nothing but a bow on his head and shamelessly declare to everyone that he is her gift. Nothing must be inside this box to contain a gift so small. The box in his hand is now just the size of a small toy car!

              Hoseok sighs as he opens the box. Another green box will appear and then he’ll see the paper saying “Pranked you, Hobi!”

              But it does not.

              For the box on Hoseok’s hand right now, is gaping open to him right now. And all he sees is a sparkling, silver ring embellished with emeralds that seem to form waves around the base of the band. A fucking ring is sitting right on top of his hand.

              Hoseok gapes and just stares. Far too long that Y/N decides to break the silence. “Surprise! I bought you an engagement ring! With green emeralds just like your favorite color.” She grins at him as she holds Hoseok’s hands in hers, making him turn to her while he stays jaw ajar. 

              Y/N suddenly feels self-conscious and unconfident. This is not the reaction she is expecting. She starts to fear if she’ll spend the coming Holidays boyfriend-less. Just by looking at Hoseok’s stupified face, it looks everything is happening too fast and too sudden tonight for her boyfriend. Nevertheless, she says, “I-I know this may come off as a really big of a surprise. After all, this is an engagement ring and right now I am trying to propose to you. Barely, even. So, of course, this is definitely a shocker. Especially when we only just spent two years dating. Still too early for a proposal to come, as what others will usually expect,” Y/N’s voice breaks. 

              She wrings her hands together, her feet trembling beneath her, and yet, she couldn’t bring herself to stop. “But, Hoseok, in these two years I have spent with you…I learned what it felt like to be loved and be in love with you. We fight, yes. Healthily usual even. But, at the end of the day, everything still feels worth it. And I guess,” Y/N  smiles, “I cannot get enough of it. I cannot get enough of you. Being your girlfriend no longer satisfied me. I now want to be your wife. I want to be the only person you’ll stress over science just to impress. I want to be the person who’ll be your home. The one you will come home to, wake up to, and sleep next to every night, every single day. I want to be your partner-in-crime, especially when we have kids and we’ll play some game I never heard of but will still enjoy in the end just because you like it. But only if you want kids, hehe.” Y/N laughs awkwardly and scratches her nape. “Hoseok, I know I am clumsy in saying my feelings for you. Today is my first time saying everything so honest and raw like this so I know this may shock you. God, you don’t know how many times I practiced this speech in my office. Other professors must already be thinking I’m going crazy—anyway, what I only want to say is,” Y/N reaches for Hoseok’s hand and kisses it. “Hoseok, I want to stay by your side for the rest of my life.” When she looks up at him, she says, “And it will only happen if you’d also love to be by my side forever as well. So what do you say?”

              “W-what, I will say?” Hoseok repeats, still shaken. However, he’s so happy he cannot help the wide grin splitting on his face. “Yes, Y/N, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Forever and ever and ever and ever.”

              “R-really?” Y/N’s releases a relieved sigh, fingers wiping the tears that have formed on her eyes. “T-Then, why did you look like as if you’re about to walk out on me when you opened the box?”

              Hoseok cups her face in his hands, wiping away the tears. “Because you remind me a lot of the Grinch. The only difference is in the end, his heart grows three sizes, but you stay an asshole.” Y/N scowls at this and hits his chest, hard. Hoseok coos at her as he hugs her tight and chuckles, “You’re an asshole because you headed out straight for my heart—hook, line, and sinker — and now I am completely blown away when I was supposed to be the first one to do so. Seriously, Y/N, I did not expect this to happen this way. Not when I also prepared a surprise for you tonight.” 

              Y/N’s brows raise in curiosity. Hoseok unzips his gym bag on the sofa and turns back to her, now with a red velvet box on his hands. 

              Hoseok pops open the box, a ring of the same design as the one she bought him stares back at her. But this one, instead of green emeralds, is embellished with blue emeralds, her favorite color.  Right then and there, Y/N wanted to cry.

              Hoseok rubs his nape. “I’m supposed to propose to you tonight as well. But you beat me right to it and now I forgot my speech.”

              Y/N chuckles at that as she wipes away the tears that have formed yet again on her eyes. Hoseok smiles as he squeezes her hand. “But, that doesn’t mean I’ll skip on this once-in-a-lifetime’s opportunity to propose to you,” Hoseok looks at her, “Y/N, I love you. And I know forever can be a heavy word and sometimes love cannot solve every problem that may come our way. But Y/N, what I said two years ago hasn’t changed. I will try my best. For you, I will. And we may be young but I know you and I are capable to make us work for as long as time can let us. Because you are Y/N, and I’m Hoseok. People may be against us but we know with each other, we are the best we can ever be. We deserve each other. We need each other. But most of all, we love each other. That’s all we need. Me and you. You and me.” After he breathes out, Hoseok cups Y/N’s cheeks and she leans forward and interlocks their lips in a soft kiss. 

              Y/N grabs onto Hoseok’s ugly green sweater and deepens the kiss, letting her mouth do the talking for her and him. For no words can be enough to express everything that is settling in their hearts tonight — euphoric bliss, the sweet feeling of triumph. Although Y/N can feel a tinge of the uncertainty of what may come to the two of them in the future grappling on her nerves, there resides in her heart the greater courage that despite the unpredictability of life, Y/N knows she can manage it with the constant she now has by her side — Hoseok. And for him, her. Because, Y/N is certain this is the most right decision she has ever made in her life: loving him. And, Hoseok proves it is the same for him as when the kiss comes into a close, he whispers on her lips, “Guess the déjà vu tonight is really working at its best. Fate really wanted us to be together.”

              Y/N grins at him, her forehead bumping into his, “And where’s your proof, future Mr. Y/N L/N?”

              Hoseok presses a kiss on Y/N’s forehead, on her cheeks, on her nose, then at the corner of her ear. He whispers, “Look outside.”

              And there outside, white droplets fall from the sky, lighting up the near-black horizon while frosting up the window panes. It is the first snow. Y/N smiles. What Hoseok said to her when she reciprocated his love confession doesn’t seem so preposterous now. It seems like fate really tied the two of them up together as she first met and started dating Hoseok when the first snow fell. There’s a saying that whoever you’re with during the first snow, you will be with that person for a long time. Y/N and Hoseok have already been living proof of that for being together in three years—friendship plus dating days combined — amidst whatever people say against them two. 

              And Y/N hopes, that as she and Hoseok promise forever to each other tonight, the saying will come true. Because she wants the two of them to be together for a very, very, very long time.  After all, Hoseok is right. She is  Y/N and he is Hoseok and together, they are the best they can ever be, titles and achievements be damned. The weather may be cold during these pinnacle moments of her and his relationship but their hearts are warm and cozy, and there is nothing more Y/N could ask for.

Epilogue:

“You know, Y/N, my original proposal was beautiful, I’m sure I’ll have you bawling tonight.”

Y/N gives him a look and Hoseok laughs, “Good thing they’re gone now. D’you know I actually wrote my entire proposal in my hands? They just got erased because my hands have become so sweaty when I chucked away the decorations I made for you.”

“What decorations?”

Hoseok pulls on the collar of his sweater, “Cut-outs of hearts and hypothalamus?”

“R-really? You remembered what I said to you three years ago?”

“Of course, babe,”Hoseok smiles, “It’s you. How can I forget that? But they’re not available anymore as I already threw them away. They looked like shit.”

“Where did you throw them?”

“In a paper bag….by your Christmas tree–hey, why are you picking it up?”

Y/N turns towards him, smiling, her hands gently holding the crushed hearts and hypothalamus cut-outs. “Because you made it for me, Hoseok. Of course they hold value to me. It’s you.”

“You’re really a Grinch, you know? You’re making me cry with your sweetness and beauty when I should be jumping up and down with joy right now.”

“….Do you always have to be cheesy like this?”

“Only for you, babe. And get used to it. You have a forever to experience this one-in-a-million love from the one and only Jung Hoseok.”

A/N pt. 2 | Hi hons! Sorry my Christmas gift for you all was late! My requirement deadlines in uni ended up until Dec. 16 and so for the majority of December, I was solely focused on uni stuff. I tried limiting myself from using page breakers in this fic, a challenge I put on myself to train my skills again in doing transitions in my writing. This story is inspired by the rivalry of science and art majors in our uni in my first year! Also! I hoped you guys appreciate my take on @kwritersworld’s prompt. I want to incorporate it in a very unexpected way, while at the same time, reflects my character in a way I‘ve never done before. OC here is a bit grumpy and lacks social skills to be friendly so I interpreted her as an everyday-Grinch hehe). Lastly, @bts-poetry, I really enjoyed doing mini Q&As with you! I hope you like this gift and I also hope we can talk more in the future!

All Rights Reserved 2019 © Vanaera. Reposts, modifications, and translations of content are not allowed without direct permission.

[nflweeklyuk]

NFL Divisional Preview

AFC East

The Bills figure to remain the top dog in the division this year, if not primed to establish a dominance over it. Josh Allen looked in midseason form in his preseason play. He is an ascendant talent and that should worry the other teams in the East. If the Bills can provide support in the run game this team will be a powerhouse in the AFC. An new crop of QB’s in this division should make it a fun one to watch in coming years. With a second year starter in Tua, Miami are still looking to see if he is the guy, all noises coming from South Florida are that he is the guy and we will see that this year. I hope so. The Patriots and Jets are starting rookies under centre, but in very different situations. Mac Jones will be put in positions to succeed by Belichick and McDaniels, and only asked to do the minimum required. The Patriots defence looks to follow on from an overall good showing last year where the they were top ten in passing and tied for the league lead in interception. An improvement in rushing yards allowed will see this defence provide all the support a ball control offence needs to win enough games to be in the playoff hunt. The Jets have their QB of the future but Zach Wilson is a raw talent who will likely ride the rookie rollercoaster in his first season. His supporting cast is the worst of the teams overall and the best Jets fans can hope for this season is to end the season with hope!

Projected Standings:

Bills

Patriots

Dolphins

Jets

AFC South

The two best units in this division are the Titans offense and the Colts defense. I would rate the Titans unit as the better of the two at this point, bringing back all major contributors in Henry, Brown and Tannehill provides great continuity. When you throw Julio Jones into the mix to play as the number 2 wideout on this team then you have a pretty fearsome unit. Expect Julio to take Jonnu Smith’s end zone production after the TE left for Foxborough. The young Colts D will look to build on the leaps it made last year and could turn out to be one of the best in the league. I just don’t trust the offensive side of the ball enough. What Wentz will we get? Who will emerge as his go to with Hilton’s injury worries? Michael Pittman has flashed but his overall production does not point to a number one wideout at this point.

If Watson was suiting up (terrible legal issues to one side) then the Texans would possibly challenging the Colts here. He is not, and likely won’t be for at least a meaningful chunk of the season. Outside of him the Texans roster is bare. There is not much to like, and they have just traded their starting corner away. That is the move of a team thinking full rebuild. The Jags have some hope and some intrigue at last! Trevor Lawrence makes this team relevant and more competitive. One of the top prospects in recent years has the usual number one pick pressure but after a 1-15 season any improvement in record will be considered a success.

Projected Standings:

Titans

Colts

Jags

Texans

AFC West

The Chiefs are favorites for the Superbowl, and rightly so. Therefore there is no surprise they are my pick to win the AFC West. Mahomes is an rare player and it is just great to watch him week to week. His supporting cast still includes Tyreek Hill and Travis Kelce so we can probably move on! You could make an argument for any of the other three teams, in any order in this division. The Chargers have an ascendant talent at QB and some nice pieces on D. The Raiders have an underrated QB in Derek Carr and will put up points with Josh Jacobs, Darren Waller and Henry Ruggs supporting him. The defense is always a question mark, and so are ALL of the high picks spent on that side of the ball by Mike Mayock and Jon Gruden. The Broncos likely have the best defensive unit in the division and will lean on that to win games. Teddy Bridgewater has made stops in several locations for a reason, he is a good but not great QB, and lets be honest Drew Lock is not the answer. If Courtland Sutton, Jerry Jeudy and Tim Patrick can all make strides then this could be a sneaky good offense. When things are close calls I always revert back to who has the best player at the most important position. In this division they rank Herbert, Carr, Bridgewater. Behind Mahomes. Obviously.

Projected Standings:

Chiefs

Chargers

Raiders

Broncos

AFC North

This is one of the trickier divisions to predict. There are three teams that you could make a case for winning this division. The other one is the Bengals. It’s really hard not to like what the Bengals have done at the skill positions on offense. Joe Burrow looked the real deal before his injury last year, and Tyler Boyd, Tee Higgins and Joe Mixon have shown how good they can all be. Throw in Ja’Marr Chase, preseason struggles aside, and you have a very talented core of players. Offensive line woes were not seriously addressed though and that will put a cap on this offense, if not stymie it completely. The defense has improved but not enough to challenge the other teams in this division.

The Ravens will look like… the Ravens, the ground game will dominate most opponents and ensure Baltimore puts up plenty of wins again. I forsee a déjà vu year for the Ravens who will make the playoffs but not go deep into the competition when they cannot keep pace with the powerhouse AFC offenses. The defense figures to be stingy again, allowing the run first offense to run over teams throughout the regular season.

The Browns were a nice surprise last year (even with the hype).  With Chubb and Hunt leading this offense and Baker Mayfield not having to play the leading role, the Browns found a great offensive rhythm. Mayfield had his own moments worthy of plenty of praise and admiration but I still don’t trust him week in week out. There is so much talent on this roster across the RBs, WRs and TEs, but outside of the RB room there has been no consistent performers. Landry has probably been the most consistent but I’m not sure there are clear roles defined, or a plan to feed all the mouths on this offense. Defensively we know Garrett is going to terrorise QBs and with a 17 game slate some records might be in danger! The Browns gave up a lot of touchdowns and yards through the air last year (although a low completion %), if they can improve that area then they may walk away with a division title.

The Steelers have some great talent on both sides of the ball. Ranking dead last in rushing through 2020, however, was very anti-Steelers. Drafting Najee Harris in the first round looks to improve the balance of this offense, but was it the backs that were the problem? Harris is an upgrade, but you do need some holes to run through. The defense boasts the highest paid defensive player, rightly so, and looks to be a turnover machine once again. Tieing for the lead league in INTs as the Steelers did last year generally helps with field position and setting up the offense in good field position. Downside? The two teams the STeelers are competing with were both top 4 in rush attempts and rushing yards last year. The Steelers led the league defensively in completion % allowed, but were middle of the pack against the ground game. There is a lot to like about the Steelers, but the teams that provide the worst match ups for them reside in their division!

I’ll take the Ravens for the division but it is a coin flip with the Browns. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Cleveland go deeper in the playoffs than Baltimore though.

Projected standings:

Ravens

Browns

Steelers

Bengals

NFC East

I’m rooting for the Dak Prescott of last year to be the guy we see minute one on Thursday night. It will just be great to see the guy suit up to be honest, that was a really chilling injury to see, to someone who seems a stand up guy as well. If Dak comes back in that form, or even gets there after shaking off some rust and uncertainty then I don’t have much doubt the Cowboys take this division. The defense sorted itself out to a large extent towards the end of last year and has added some nice pieces this offseason. With Lamb, Cooper and Gallup and a trim Ezekiel Elliott all returning I can only see this offense putting up big numbers. Any defensive improvement should translate to Ws, especially within the division.

Placing the rest of this division was a lot trickier. Washington have a fearsome front with Chase Young and Montez Sweat likely terrorising opponent QBs on a regular basis and the defense will be the strength of this team once again. Who doesn’t love Fitzmagic? Well, winning records don’t really unfortunately. Fitzpatrick is with his 400th team for a reason, he is a streaky QB that cannot string together consistent performances. He did a great job in Miami last year, and perhaps is having a late career settling down.. but would you really bet on that? Washington will win games based on the strength of this defense but to challenge for the division, or even the playoffs then they need a makeover in the QB room.

I bought a little too much into the Jalen Hurts early showings last year and had a flutter on the Eagles making some noise in the playoffs. Only for Hurts and the rest of the team too play a couple of duds and miss out completely. The second year pro will likely see ups and downs as any young QB does, but his athleticism and courage should provide enough spark to drive the Eagles to a middling win total, which is likely enough to slot into second in this division.

The Giants are in Daniel Jones purgatory, he has not quite done enough for the plug to get pulled but an insane number of turnovers in his first two years has to be worrying. If the G-men can get Barkley going and limit the work Jones has to do then this offense could thrive on play action with the likes of Golladay, Shephard and Slayton on the outside. The defense has a star in James Bradberry and should keep the Giants in plenty of close games, I just don’t have faith in the QB to put the Giants on the right side of them.

Projected standings

Cowboys

Eagles

Washington

Giants

NFC South

The Bucs bring back all 22 starters on offense and defense from their Superbowl triumph last year. That kind of continuity is rare and makes the Bucs perhaps a more fearsome team than that which closed the season last year so strongly. Like most, I have no real interest in discussing Tom Brady’s age, I have no doubt the first person to call time on Brady correctly will be Brady himself. Someone so in tune with their body and committed to their craft will know the time before we see any semblance of decline. Therefore the Bucs stroll this division this year, a division which sans Drew Brees leaves less talent to challenge the Bucs main area of concern, the secondary. As areas of concern go, it is not a huge concern!

Matt Ryan will be challenging that secondary with Calvin Ridley, Russel Gage and Kyle Pitts. I’m not sure there is anyone who is not excited to see the latter get on the field. Again I fear a déjà vu type year for the Falcons, yes, points will be scored, but that will be a necessity as the perennially thin defense projects to underwhelm once again. If this team could find balance on that side of the ball they would be an NFC team to watch. As it happens they will be just that, but only because they should be in a fair few shoot outs.

What will Sean Payton’s game plan be? How much trust does he have in his QBs? I would expect heavier doses of Alvin Kamara.. and Taysom Hill?.. leading to some deep shots off of play action, limiting the amount Winston (to start with) has to do on any given day. Without Michael Thomas suiting up for the first 6 weeks of the year do the Saints have enough out wide to take advantage of those deep shots? Callaway has flashed the potential, as has Tre’quan Smith, but neither have yet been consistent performers. On the other side of the ball the Saints have a strong pass rush and an improved secondary after the acquisition of Bradley Roby from the Texans. This secondary group may be a little thin and will need rookies to step up to push this defense to the next level. It was a toss up between the Falcons and Saints to take the spot behind the Bucs but again, when in doubt go with the better QB!

The Panthers round out this division, not so much because they are a last placed team, but because there are strong teams in this division. The Panthers defense has the chance to be much improved, if a Brian Burns led pass rush can maintain pressure on opposing QBs then this unit can improve from it’s middle of the pack showing last year. On the offensive side of the ball there are serious questions on the offensive line, that does not bode well for Sam Darnold. Darnold does have a much better supporting cast around him at the skill positions, and a bona fide stud in McCaffrey to be the workhorse but the jury is still out on him as a starting QB. If the offensive line can hold up we should know by the end of the year whether the Panthers have an answer at QB or whether they will be back in the market next offseason.

Projected standings:

Buccaneers

Falcons

Saints

Panthers

NFC West

Probably the most competitive division of the lot. Great, established coaches (mostly…). Talented, proven quarterbacks (mostly…) and top notch skill position players everywhere. All these teams look poised to put up plenty of point on offense, so will this division come down to who has the better defensive unit?

The Rams acquisition of Matthew Stafford is a brilliant move in my opinion. Stafford deserves a chance on a loaded team after being the ultimate competitor and teammate in Detroit, without any support from the organisation. In LA he will benefit from a team that knows how to run the ball, and play defense. The Rams offense has been hit and miss under Goff in more recent history but Stafford will bring consistency and aggression, raising the ceiling of this offense. The defense still has Aaron Donald so they will be just fine, if not a great unit. Pressure up front and lock down play in the secondary from the likes of Jalen Ramsey will mean that the Rams will limit opponents offensive production. With a solid offense with Stafford at the helm this looks to be one of the most balanced teams in the league.

The 49ers are up there with the Rams in almost all facets. They are more talented at the skill positions, certainly, with the likes of Kittle, Aiyuk and Samuel, however Garropolo is not Matt Stafford, until proven otherwise. The guy has been to the Superbowl, but he has also been underwhelming for longer than he has been good overall. Trey Lance is waiting in the wings and there will be plenty of noise if Garropolo is anything but stellar, distraction potential? The run game usually reduces the burden on the quarterback and the 9ers have some talented backs that will rotate to keep a heavy dose of the ground game going. This offense will be good, even with mediocre QB play. I’m not buying the hype of the return of the 2019 9ers just yet but they could easily win this division and be one of the best teams in the league. The defense has lost it’s spearhead in Robert Saleh, so some question marks about continuity need to be answered. There is plenty of talent there though. I have the Rams slightly ahead of the 9ers here but it could go either way.

Russell Wilson is one of my favorite players of all time, when he came out of the gates last season on a record breaking pace it looked like he was about to elevate into the very top tier of QBs. So where did the second half of the season come from?! Letting Russ cook was working beautifully, yeah the D was atrocious, winding up second in the league in air yards allowed, but it didn’t really matter all that much. Until it did. As soon as the offense’s average points per game dropped to a more middling level the Seahawks were not going to win games. We can expect Wilson, Metcalf, Lockett and co to be a dynamic offense which, in all likelihood, will not be so up and down. What can we expect from the defense? Unfortunately while offensively the Seahawks are up there with the teams above, they do not boast the same talent defensively, limiting their ability to compete for honours in this division.

A very similar story looks to play out in the desert. Arizona boast a truly talented offense that has only improved this offseason. The one question mark remaining is do they have a lead back who can carry the load and relieve pressure on Kyler Murray? I’m not sure, and I don’t think this offense will have balance. Yes the rushing numbers will be inflated by Murray himself but that will not be what is seen on field. Defensively the Cardinals have lost Patrick Peterson and will rely on younger players to step up. They will need to generate way more pressure up front to compensate for a weaker secondary. Not you Budda. There are more questions surrounding this team than any of the others in the division, so last place it is.

NFC West

Probably the most competitive division of the lot. Great, established coaches (mostly…). Talented, proven quarterbacks (mostly…) and top notch skill position players everywhere. All these teams look poised to put up plenty of point on offense, so will this division come down to who has the better defensive unit?

The Rams acquisition of Matthew Stafford is a brilliant move in my opinion. Stafford deserves a chance on a loaded team after being the ultimate competitor and teammate in Detroit, without any support from the organisation. In LA he will benefit from a team that knows how to run the ball, and play defense. The Rams offense has been hit and miss under Goff in more recent history but Stafford will bring consistency and aggression, raising the ceiling of this offense. The defense still has Aaron Donald so they will be just fine, if not a great unit. Pressure up front and lock down play in the secondary from the likes of Jalen Ramsey will mean that the Rams will limit opponents offensive production. With a solid offense with Stafford at the helm this looks to be one of the most balanced teams in the league.

The 49ers are up there with the Rams in almost all facets. They are more talented at the skill positions, certainly, with the likes of Kittle, Aiyuk and Samuel, however Garropolo is not Matt Stafford, until proven otherwise. The guy has been to the Superbowl, but he has also been underwhelming for longer than he has been good overall. Trey Lance is waiting in the wings and there will be plenty of noise if Garropolo is anything but stellar, distraction potential? The run game usually reduces the burden on the quarterback and the 9ers have some talented backs that will rotate to keep a heavy dose of the ground game going. This offense will be good, even with mediocre QB play. I’m not buying the hype of the return of the 2019 9ers just yet but they could easily win this division and be one of the best teams in the league. The defense has lost it’s spearhead in Robert Saleh, so some question marks about continuity need to be answered. There is plenty of talent there though. I have the Rams slightly ahead of the 9ers here but it could go either way.

Russell Wilson is one of my favorite players of all time, when he came out of the gates last season on a record breaking pace it looked like he was about to elevate into the very top tier of QBs. So where did the second half of the season come from?! Letting Russ cook was working beautifully, yeah the D was atrocious, winding up second in the league in air yards allowed, but it didn’t really matter all that much. Until it did. As soon as the offense’s average points per game dropped to a more middling level the Seahawks were not going to win games. We can expect Wilson, Metcalf, Lockett and co to be a dynamic offense which, in all likelihood, will not be so up and down. What can we expect from the defense? Unfortunately while offensively the Seahawks are up there with the teams above, they do not boast the same talent defensively, limiting their ability to compete for honours in this division.

A very similar story looks to play out in the desert. Arizona boast a truly talented offense that has only improved this offseason. The one question mark remaining is do they have a lead back who can carry the load and relieve pressure on Kyler Murray? I’m not sure, and I don’t think this offense will have balance. Yes the rushing numbers will be inflated by Murray himself but that will not be what is seen on field. Defensively the Cardinals have lost Patrick Peterson and will rely on younger players to step up. They will need to generate way more pressure up front to compensate for a weaker secondary. Not you Budda. There are more questions surrounding this team than any of the others in the division, so last place it is.

Projected standings:

Rams

49ers

Seahawks

Cardinals

NFC North

Aaron Rodgers with a bigger chip than usual on his shoulder, coming off an MVP year… the league should be afraid. His connection with Adams should be as strong as ever. The depth in the receiving core is a little better but I’m not sure why there is so much hype about the return or Randall Cobb, yes, there is familiarity but we have not seen the game breaking play from Cobb since he left Green Bay. Having two backs in Aaron Jones and AJ Dillon should mean the run game continues to be an important, and effective cog in this high power offense. I don’t see any drop off from the leagues leading scoring offense. Defensively the Pack will look to improve again this year, with a young secondary that played well last year. An easy choice to take this division.

The Vikings project to be just fine offensively, the combination of Dalvin Cook with Jefferson and Thielen on the outside will mean this offense is capable of going toe to toe with the better offenses in the league. Well, at least if you don’t watch the preseason. Defense was the problem for this team last year, the Vikings could not effectively stop the run or pass, meaning opponents could play whatever game plan they liked and have success. I would not expect a Mike Zimmer coached defense to repeat such bad stats for a second year. The additions of the likes of Patrick Peterson and Eversen Griffen, among others, should ensure that improvement is seen on the field, making this team a lot more competitive this year.

Projected standings:

Packers

Vikings

Bears

Lions

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-09-15

This caught me laaaate at night gosh I’m tired but I’m gonna get it outta the way so it won’t stick in my craw!  Already saw the first page, so it’s time for:

> CHAPTER 13. The Funeral

Church with chess symbols at the peaks and a Prospit/Derse or Hope/Rage split color theme on the stained glass windows.

JANE: Dearly beloved...

> (==>)

Trolls, humans, and papparazzi.  Oh, hm, this church is RATHER carapacian isn’t it?  Between the chess and the continuing Prospit-Derse themes, like how this corresponds to how they align in the incipisphere top-left to bottom-right if I recall:

(Minus the outlying orbs to the left and right for symmetry.)

That twisted pattern is interesting, and not quite a spirograph.  Is that gonna be important later?  If we’re going to get some sort of class chart later in the comic, it’d be easy for them to hint at the chart’s graphical structure subtly by dropping it places like here.

JANE: Ladies... JANE: Gentlemen... JANE: News outlets... JANE: And other valued members of the Human Nation State.

Technically true, but still odd to hear--  ...oh right, I forgot this was asshole dictator-wannabe Jane, too.

I read an interesting twitter thread recently about the intense psychological distinction between wanting to BE the best, and wanting to be TREATED like you’re the best.  Epilogues/HS^2 Jane is kind of written as a case study on the pitfalls of leaning on the latter instead of the former.

> (==>)

They brought Yiffy WITH them-!?  --Oh right.  The hostage exchange was supposed to happen here wasn’t it.

Yiffy definitely looks like a Harley-Lalonde daughter in this shot.

JANE: Gamzee Makara, High Court Jester, exalted saint of the purple veil, has left us to traverse that grand, gay carnival in the sky, where, I am told by various members of the clownly cloth, he will spend the rest of history, honking in grand tribute to the Mirthful Messiah.

SINGULAR???

Weird.  Is it because Alt!Callie “won” here?

Or is Jane just forgetting because she’s culturally used to monotheism (ironically) and is insensitive.

JANE: And my first memory of our Purple Prince, was his robust codpiece--

Wow.

> (==>)

JANE: --As he offered me his friendly support, along with the sacred blood of his brethren, the holy sacrament--

He STILL killed trolls??! (EDIT: No, a friend points out that she's talking about when she met him first in Act 6 and he tried selling bottles of troll blood to her. EDIT2: -which may be another inconsistency, since Vriska supposedly overwrote that post-retcon.)

> (==>)

It takes Jake a few seconds of puzzled eye contact before he catches exactly what it is Yiffany is tossing down. In his defense, he is distracted by his wife’s speech, which is doing the emotional equivalent of wringing him out like a wet towel, before using that towel to slap the sweaty buttocks of a large, odorous man. Even if he knows everything she’s saying is a load of horsefeathers, it does nothing for his composure to hear her heap praise on that smelly, homewrecking clown.

Bad things about Gamzee deserve to be said here, yes.

Jake wonders what she’ll say about him, at his own funeral.

Now those are some uncomfortable thoughts.

He narrows his eyes in Yiffany’s direction. She’s a lovely girl, really. He wishes he could have gotten to know her under better circumstances. He’d known she existed, of course--Jane had complained about her often enough--but they’d never had much chance to get acquainted. He rather believes her and Tavvy would have been fast friends.

Then again, perhaps it’s better that she never had much of a chance to get to know his family.

He lets go of the leash.

Yep, there’s a plan to set in motion that he’s probably already discussed with her privately.  Gotta unite this four-kid team after all.

> (==>)

Wait, are you ATTACKING?!?  --Of course you’re attacking.  You would even if the plan was something different, wouldn’t you.

JANE: And I know that at times like these it is easy to want to give in. JANE: To throw in the towel, and turn our faces away from the light of democracy and moral fortitude that we, the citizens of the human kingdom, are blessed with from birth. JANE: God knows I’ve had my own faith tested in the last few weeks.

Jesus Christ, what has she turned the place into, a fucking theocracy?

She sounds like the leader of some screwed-up, fundamentalist country!  Like the United States!

*rimshot*

JANE: As many of you know, I did not grow up with the same privileges that all of you enjoy.

Jesus.

JANE: I was born on proto-Earth, that half-finished dystopia mangled by the ravages of foolish leadership and endless war.

Jesus, she really IS a self-evident takedown of hypocritical entitled political figures.  With the bonuses having Jasprose explicitly ADDRESS said entitlement to make things even clearer cut.

JANE: And as for Gamzee, well, his upbringing was even worse. JANE: He was born to a violent and uncaring home, a lonely child with few natural gifts.

...Some natural gifts and status.

> (==>)

She’s just, shaking with fury here isn’t she?  And about to perform an impressive corpse-lob.

JANE: It would be simple to let this disgusting, vile, SHAMEFUL act of spiteful revenge turn us away from the blinding light of the sword of justice that hangs over us all--

This sentence seems suspicious so I’m quoting it to refer to later if I need to, but is probably just platitudes.

> (==>)

JANE: Poised

> (==>)

JANE: Trembling

Okay maybe the sword’s a dick, but what exactly is Yiffany doing??  I’m finding it difficult as usual to tell between some of these image transitions.

> (==>)

JANE: Ready to burst forth--

Bad PR to shock-collar a kid mid press junket.  (Very dicks description.)

> (==>)

Click.  (Did they swap the shock function with Jane’s necklace somehow, that’d be fun.)

JANE: I want to give up, at times. I understand your pain.

While shocking a kid?  GREAT PR.

> (==>)

JANE: I sympathize with your pain.

Wow, those horrified audience members.  She REALLY can’t even see herself anymore can she?  Not even hear herself.  And they’re making sure this is pointed out to EVERYONE watching.  They described this as in large part a PR campaign to defeat her, didn’t they?

> (==>)

Great furious businesswoman-villain look, that art.

JANE: But when that pain! Becomes too hard! To endure! JANE: Remember poor, lifeless Gamzee! Who suffered pain far worse than any of us could ever fathom! JANE: THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL!

Click click click.  This is a fun sequence.

> (==>)

DIRK: Dude, didn’t you lower the voltage on that shock collar? DIRK: Little Red isn’t looking so hot. JAKE: Yes of course i did but the damn doohickys got the kick of a donkey! JAKE: I couldnt remove it completely shed know i was the one who did it! DIRK: Well, if that supervillain cuntwaffle doesn’t stop, she’s going to kill her. Not really the best at hostage management, is she.

Decent plan.  (And of course Dirk would pull out the word cunt.)  When’s the cavalry coming?

> (==>)

JANE: But we cannot allow his memory to be in vain! JANE: For Gamzee Makara taught us that even the most loathsome degenerate can take their place in society. JANE: All they need is the right redemption arc - !

Trying to hammer home some of the Epilogue’s trolly-critical themes a little less bleakly, I take it.

I kind of like the violent vibration in ALL of these gifs in a row.  It makes the scene seem small, slow, teeth-clenching but still full of steady action, emphasizing the importance of the relatively small events from panel to panel while giving them the sense with the animation of them being [i]drawn out[/i] and tortuous instead of just “occurring”.  It feels that way to me, anyway.

> (==>)

If he got up alive here, that’d be hilarious.  (Presumably he’s been treated and done-up like a normal funeral body, not “dormant” and undecaying like a dead god-tier.)

> (==>)

CORPSE PUNT w/ CLEATS

> (==>)

That face is just.  I love that face.

> (==>)

SHE MAD

JANE: Young lady, I am just about at the end of my rope with you. JANE: Throw all the dog bowls you want at the walls of my warship. JANE: But don’t you dare act up in front of a JANE: Live JANE: Fucking JANE: Newsfeed! YIFFY: Grrrrrr

What did you expect to happen?  Do you expect to shout her down from this, Jane?

JANE: After everything I’ve done for you--paying for your education, helping your parents cover up your existence from the world! JANE: Just imagine what Rose and Jade would say if they could see you now, even dissidents can have a little decorum! JANE: Get down from there at once! YIFFY: Grrrrrr

But this is GAMZEE.  --I guess it’s seriously disrespectful to his followers, though.  Still.  If you wanted civility from her, a shock collar, leash, and food bowl wasn’t the way to go about it.

JANE: Don’t you threaten me, young lady. Not today! YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR

What is your PLAN even, Jane?  You’ve completely disregarded her.

JANE: There’s nowhere for you to go. My agents are swarming this church. Be reasonable, Yiffany. JANE: Ugh. JANE: Disgusting name. JANE: But that’s hardly your fault. You were always just a footnote. Your parents’ little prank. JANE: Honestly, that’s why I helped them all those years ago! I do love a good jape. JANE: But let’s be serious. JANE: You don’t matter. If you did, they would have come for you already.

Can all the press hear her being such an asshole?

Okay, stereotypically, their arrival should be the next couple panels:

> (==>)

Jake, do something useful like hoping harder.

> (==>)

And she knocks the remote away.  Excellent.

And she does. Seemingly at the end of her tolerance for insults toward her name, social status, and heritage, Yiffy performs an impressive backflip off the podium and down onto the church floor. One that, if it hadn’t been happening amidst a sea of other newsworthy events, would surely have ended up on someone’s instagram story within thirty seconds. She gives Gamzee’s corpse one last parting kick: a hard, proper kick that proves those cleats aren’t just for fashion. Although they are certainly also for fashion.

Good, good.

He vanishes into the seething crowd, and we are confident that we will never have to deal with this asshole ever again.

God damnit.

> (==>)

Jake watches this from a safe distance, poised on the edge of intervening to pull Yiffy out of there. But in the end he doesn’t have to. Instead he watches in admiration as she tears the place to utter shreds. An echoing sympathy swells inside of him as she rends apart the funeral flowers and punts Gamzee into the shrieking congregation. Here is a girl who felt the cold, indecent hand of fate wrapping around her, and instead of submitting to it and slowly sublimating down into morasse of boiled doormat, she slapped it away from her with a lively oh, no thank you.

All at once, Jake feels immense affection for his granddaughter. He hopes the two of them can make up for lost time.

Lessons belatedly learned, but learned nonetheless.

> (==>)

JANE: Enough of this. JANE: Seize her!

Kind of Red Queen of you.  (Are those stained glass windows in back of the frame about to burst?)

> (==>)

Yep.

The stained glass window shatters inward, obliterated to stardust. The war is knocking.

Even attacking a disgusting faith’s church is pretty bad form, though.

Tired and busy, seeya next upd8.  <3