#I cannot explain why this is my favourite romance

[perplexingly]

They’re red flags to you, fortunately I’m colorblind

[taeyongdoyoung]

poison

summary: tasting the king's meals for poison is a great honour to be bestowed on you. but poison is not the only thing you're interested in tasting... paring: king!haechan x maid!reader genre: royalty!au, romance, drama, smut warnings: reader has anxiety, food-tasting, mentions of poison, hierarchical system, rich guy/poor girl trope, shitty ex jaemin (sorry boo 💞), evil uncle trope, threats, mentions of blood, insecurities, crying, pet names, lots of kissing, inexperienced reader, lowkey corruption kink, fingering, handjob, cum-eating, loss of virginity, unprotected sex author's note: the plot is loosely inspired by some historical kdramas and the folk of the air trilogy 🥰 also, there are some references to nct songs in bold bc it's me, duh word count: 4.8k

Your life as a maid in the royal palace is pretty boring. You wake up, you prepare meals in the kitchen, you wash clothes, you clean rooms, you sneak a piece of stale bread if you find any (if you're lucky even some cheese), you go to sleep, repeat. Every day is the same. No drama, no adventure, nothing out of the ordinary. You don't like it but it's all you can do so you can send some money to your poor family.

That is until on one random day you are summoned to the king's chambers immediately, the other maids saying it is of utmost importance. You are panicking. Did you do something wrong? You try to attend to your duties with all the care and attention to detail possible. Will you be scolded or worse, punished, for some mistake you cannot place? You try to calm your rapidly beating heart, as you enter the king's room.

Looking down nervously, you bow deeply, not able to think of anything else to say, rather than mumbling a weak "Your Majesty".

"Relax, I'm not going to kill you," king Haechan says in his signature deep voice.

His words do little to ease your mind and your hands are still shaking.

"I've been told by my most trusted counsellor that I have many enemies and cases of poisoned aristocrats have been increasing. So, after discussing it in great detail, he advised me to look for a food taster. Someone I could count on not to betray me," the king explains.

"With all due respect, Your Majesty, but w-why me?" you ask meekly.

"You know my counsellor Jaemin, don't you? I believe you two were once…intimate. He said you could definitely be trusted. And I trust him with my life, so…"

Your damn ex Jaemin…You can't tell if him recommending you to the king as a potential food taster is a compliment or a curse. After all, you could literally die from poison. But then again, what can you do? You can't exactly disobey the king's direct command. At the end of the day, he bestowed a great honour on you. Anyone else would be jumping with joy. Anyone else but you.

"Your Majesty, I'm not denying you, of course. It's just that…I'm the only source of income for my poor parents. I can't bear to think of them all on their own."

"You have my word. Should anything happen to you…your parents will be well taken care of," the king promises and there is so much compassion and sincerity in his voice, you have no choice but to believe him.

"Very well, then. I'll try all your meals before you," you vow solemnly.

"Splendid," the king claps his hands.

That is how your boring days at the royal palace come to an abrupt end. You try the first couple of meals anxiously and with little appetite. Your stomach hurts from nervousness and not because there is any poison in the food. As time goes by, the food-tasting process becomes second nature to you. Eventually, you convince yourself that the chances of actual poison are low and you begin to enjoy your daily interactions with the king.

"What do we have for lunch today, my sweetest treasure?" the king asks. You like how he addresses you. As if you are genuinely important to him. As if it would pain him if he lost you. It's a kind gesture to distract you from the reality of how replacable you are.

"Your favourite, Your Majesty. Kimchi jjigae," you respond politely.

"Yesss, it's gonna be a great day!" the king squeals happily like a little boy.

It is an unwelcome reminder of how young he actually is. Unwelcome because you cannot imagine how difficult it must be for him. Enemies lurking at every corner, having all this power and responsibilities…and no one to share them with.

After you try the kimchi jjigae and check its safety, the king begins eating excitedly.

"You know that not all poisons kick in immediately, right?" you know it's rude to interrupt him but you cannot help yourself. "There is still a chance that we both get poisoned but the symptoms appear later."

"I know, but…" the king sighs, his mouth still full. Once he finishes chewing, he finishes his sentence. "It's still a precaution. At least Jaemin seems to think so."

You roll your eyes at the mention of your ex.

"Did you not end things on good terms?" the king is curious.

"We just…had lots of differences. Jaemin, being from a higher social class, said that I was just a way to pass the time. That he didn't see any future for us…That he would never marry me."

"Ouch," the king keeps chewing his favourite food. "I mean, it's technically true you belong to different worlds, but he could have said it more nicely."

"Do you trust his judgement? I'm not talking about relationships. Just…on the topic of poisons and stuff," you need to know.

"I suppose. We've known each other for so long, it'd be silly not to trust him."

"May I make a suggestion?" you inquire. "I know I'm not as qualified as Jaemin, but it's still worth taking other people's opinions into consideration."

"Sure," the king shrugs. "What did you have in mind?"

"If there are so many cases of aristocrats being poisoned, why don't you try taking a little poison each day to build an immunity? I've heard this method is quite common in other kingdoms."

"Where did you learn that?" the king asks you suspiciously.

"I read it in a book somewhere."

"You can read? No offense."

"None taken. When I'm done with my maid duties, I sneak into the royal library sometimes. Don't tell the king," you joke.

"Your secret's safe with me," the king laughs.

Time passes in the same old way. Cleaning, cooking and food-tasting. Repeat. One evening, the king summons you again.

You are about to take a bite from the food before him when he unexpectedly grabs your wrist and stops you.

"I don't want you to do that anymore," he murmurs.

"What?"

"I've started taking a little poison each day to build an immunity, like you advised me to. So far, I've been doing alright. And…I just think it's unfair, alright? What if you actually die?" the king whispers, as if the thought is so unbearable to him he can't even say it. "I can't lose you. I…trust you too much."

He trusts you? The thought is so bizarre in a flattering way your heart hurts upon hearing his sincerity.

"Are you planning to find another food-taster, then?" the very question is painful to you. Despite the potential danger, you don't want to be replaced. You want to keep being his person.

The king shakes his head.

"No life is worth more than mine. I'm not doing that outdated thing anymore."

"Of course, your life is worth the most! You are the king!" you exclaim passionately, pulling the food towards you.

"You think I don't know that?" he whisper-shouts, taking the food once again. "You think I don't wake up each morning wishing things were different?"

What…what is he on about? Why would he wish he wasn't the king?

"I'm not sure I follow," you say quietly.

"It's fine. I don't understand myself. Just…don't tell anyone, okay? Not even Jaemin. Let everyone believe you're still tasting my food and come at the allotted times as usual."

The not even Jaemin part shocks you. Does he no longer trust him as he once did? What is going on?!

"As you wish, Your Majesty," you respond, not even thinking of disobeying him. As confusing as everything is, you need him to trust you. More than you've needed anything else in your life.

"Oh and…one more thing. You should call me Haechan. When we're alone, that is."

"Uhm, okay. Haechan?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" he tilts his head cutely.

"Nothing, just trying it out," you chuckle.

Haechan laughs warmly and starts eating calmly.

"I can't tell if you're brave or reckless," you tease him.

"Perhaps both," he shrugs.

One Monday, your worst fear comes true. As you are preparing Haechan's meal, you are faced with his uncle. You've never been a fan of him for some unknown reason, but now you know your suspicions were completely justified.

"Give me the meal," he orders and you are so terrified, you do as he asks.

He pulls a vial out of his pocket and pours it on top of the food nonchalantly, mixing it well with a spoon, so that it doesn't show.

"Say a word to the king and you parents are dead," he threatens.

"What do you know about my parents?" you ask boldly. Foolishly, even.

After Haechan's uncle says the names of your parents and the exact location of their home, you realize he isn't bluffing. What are you going to do?

As you enter Haechan's chambers, you realize you can't do it.

"Ooh, this looks delicious," Haechan is about to put the food into his mouth when you rudely push the spoon away from him, spilling the food all over the ground.

"It's super cold and totally unappetizing," you exclaim the first thing that comes to mind.

Haechan eyes you weirdly but doesn't scold you.

"Have this, instead," you pull a sweet pastry from your pocket, knowing it's safe.

Haechan shrugs, not caring about what he's given.

"So yummy," he smiles happily, not suspecting a thing.

If you tell him, your parents are dead. If you don't, he's dead. Sooner or later.

When his evil uncle questions you later, you lie through your teeth that the king wasn't hungry and tossed the food away in an angry fit. Miraculously, his uncle believes that.

Similar things happen throughout the week. On Tuesday, you eat the food meant for Haechan yourself, hoping that the self-poisoning you've been doing in secret with the help of your apothecary friend Renjun will be plenty of protection and that you'll survive this extra dose of poison. On Wednesday, you explain to Haechan that the food was made with old ingredients and give him a piece of bread and some cheese you've set aside. On Thursday, you once again make a mess and spill the meal, pretending it was a clumsy accident. On Friday, you tell Haechan that you saw a cockroach in the food. Very far-fetched but it somehow works?! On Saturday, you go as far as lying to Haechan that you were so hungry you ate his food in the corridor.

Not once does he question you or get angry. His evil uncle, however, is becoming more and more agitated.

On Sunday, the uncle has had enough of your failed attempts to poison the king. And he shows you something that makes your blood run cold.

Two chopped-off fingers that he claims belong to your parents.

"If you fail again, it'll be their entire hands next time. And then, their heads. Choose wisely," he threatens cruelly.

You seem to be at an impasse.

As you are once more left alone with Haechan, you debate what to do. You are running out of ideas. Haechan's spoon is approaching his mouth eagerly. After all, he's been eating nothing but bread and random snacks all week. Your mind goes blank. If he eats that, he'll surely die. If he doesn't, your parents might die. It's an impossible situation. But you are greedy. Greedy to save both his life and your parents'.

"Stop," you cry out.

Haechan's hand freezes mid-air. It's now or never.

"I have betrayed you, Your Majesty, please kill me," you drop to your knees desperately.

"I told you to call me Haechan," he rolls his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Your uncle has been trying to kill you," you blurt out. "He's been putting poison in your meals for the past week. I kept trying to come up with ridiculous reasons to prevent you from eating it but…he's been threatening my parents. Today he showed me two chopped-off fingers and said the next time I fail to poison you, it'll be their hands and the final time, their heads, but…I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" Haechan asks you to clarify.

"I can't poison you," you admit, eyes filled with tears. Even though your parents' lives are in grave danger, losing Haechan would hurt just as much.

"Could have just said that from the beginning instead of feeding me bread for a week," Haechan teases.

"You believe me?" you inquire nervously. Only now does the gravity of the situation strike you. What if he'd chosen to side with his uncle and executed you for treason?

"Jaemin's been warning me about my uncle plotting against me for a while now. I thought it was just his paranoia, but…I'm inclined to believe you and Jaemin."

"Over your own flesh and blood?" you are pleasantly surprised.

"Blood doesn't necessarily make you family," Haechan shrugs. "Okay, here's the plan. We'll sneak out of the palace and go find your parents. We'll make sure they go somewhere my uncle won't be able to find them."

You nod numbly, amazed at how quick he's thinking and finding a way out of this situation.

"Then, we'll return to the palace and make my uncle regret ever trying to mess with us."

"Us?" you repeat.

"Yeah, us," Haechan confirms. "We're in this together, no?"

"Hell yeah!" you reply, infected by his enthusiasm to find a solution.

Once you dress up with cloaks and daggers, Haechan leads you through a secret tunnel hidden behind the royal library that takes you both out of the palace.

"Don't tell anyone about this," Haechan whispers in your ear, his hand on your lower back, making you gasp for air.

"Who am I gonna tell? The king?" you joke to distract him from how affected you are by his gentle touch.

"Yeah, he should never know about this," Haechan chuckles in the dark and kisses you on the lips, taking you by surprise. You…he…what?!

You wrap your arms around his neck, desperate for the way he grounds you and makes you believe it will all be alright, you'll find a way out of this mess. Together.

He is the one to initiate the kiss but sadly, he is also the one to end it as abruptly as it started.

"As much as I'm enjoying the taste of your lips, we have to get to your parents and make sure they're okay."

"Right, right," you agree. He's more concerned about your parents than you, which speaks volumes about his noble character.

You resist the urge to swoon and try to focus on the task at hand.

Once you get to your parents' place, you are happily amazed to find all their fingers intact! That bastard was bluffing!~But the question remains…whose fingers were that?!

"You'll have to go to another town," you explain impatiently. "Haechan has some trusted friends who'll take you in."

"H-haechan?" your mom repeats in shock upon hearing you call the king by his first name.

"Uhh," you look to Haechan nervously for a way to explain. You know he told you to only call him that when it's the two of you but it just slipped so naturally…

"It's okay," he reassures you. "Your daughter has saved my life on multiple occasions. Making sure you two are fine is the least I could do."

"You are too kind, Your Majesty," your dad is even more stunned by Haechan's gentle demeanour.

"Just returning the favour. Your daughter's irreplaceable."

Oh. You wonder if he truly believes that or is simply trying to ease your parents' worries.

Soon enough, you parents are travelling to Haechan's friends and you and the king are riding back to the palace.

Immediately, he summons a court meeting and gives the order for his uncle to be brought to justice in front of all the aristocrats. His uncle is struggling to escape the guards' arms and screaming treason. But Jaemin's and your account of the uncle's actions are enough to convince the people of the truth. Eventually, other aristocrats start speaking up of suspicious things Haechan's uncle has done or said like threatening them or their family in an attempt to take the throne. In no time, the uncle is imprisoned.

"You should have just killed him," Jaemin tells Haechan quietly. "He would have done the same to you."

"I do things differently," Haechan replies. "If you were king, you'd understand."

Jaemin shrugs.

"Lucky for me, I'll never know what that's like."

Haechan rolls his eyes, trusting that his friend has no such ambitions and is happy with his life as a counsellor.

Even with the threat of Haechan's uncle behind bars, he still continues to take little doses of poison to build an immunity. You don't tell him but you do the same, carrying on with food-tasting his meals before him. You value your life, sure. But you value his more.

One random Tuesday, Haechan summons you to his chambers. But the hour does not indicate food-bringing activities. Just like the first time, you are overwhelmed by a strange sense of anxiety. Even though you've known him for so long and have been through so much together, it still unnerves you, being alone with him. You don't know if things would be different if he weren't king. Perhaps not. There is just something about Haechan that makes your knees tremble in the best way possible.

"You've asked to see me, Your Majesty?" you mumble.

"When will you get rid of that annoying habit? It's just me…Haechan," he reminds you needlessly.

"I know, but you're still the king."

"That sounds so detached," Haechan groans. "But I'm hoping what I have to say will convince you to only call my name. Not just when we're alone."

"What are you saying?" you're beyond confused.

"Marry me. Become the queen of my kingdom," he pleads, taking your hand in his.

"But…you can't," you whisper in shock, reminded of how adamant Jaemin was. And if the distance between your place in society and Jaemin's was big…then, the distance between your and Haechan's worlds seems far more insurmountable.

"I can," Haechan looks more determined than anything to do this.

"People will talk…They won't be happy."

"Fuck people," Haechan scoffs. "Will you have me or not?"

"Of course, I will, Haechan," you cry out. "You've shown me more kindness and understanding than anyone in my life."

"You do know I'll give you anything you desire?" Haechan speaks softly. "As long as you're by my side, as you have been so far."

"You do know I don't want anything, right? Even if you weren't king, I'd choose you in any universe."

"Are you serious?" Haechan smiles in disbelief, the idea so foreign to him.

"Of course I am," you insist. "Even if you were a poor bard singing in taverns."

"Hm. I do love singing," Haechan smirks and kisses you.

And gods, his lips are sweeter than any meal you've tasted and every poison you've consumed. You could never get enough.

Your wedding day finally arrives. Shockingly, people are more accepting of your union than you anticipated, because they take your food-taster position in consideration and how valiantly you exposed Haechan's evil uncle. Your parents, as well, are happy to see you and Haechan together.

However, there is one person who is against.

"Is that why you broke up with me? Aiming high, I see," Jaemin snickers rudely once you are out of Haechan's sight for a brief moment at the wedding afterparty.

"I broke up with you because you said I was just a way to pass the time and you see no future for us. If you think I'm with Haechan because of his crown, you're even more foolish than I thought," you scoff.

"Oh, really?" Jaemin raises his eyebrows. "So, you're saying if Haechan lost his title as king, you'd still be with him?"

"Yes, I would. But the fact you're even talking about that can be considered treason by some."

"You know I'm loyal to Haechan. But do you honestly think you're good enough for him? You could never satisfy him. He'll grow tired of you, you'll see. You're so fucking…cold," Jaemin hisses.

His words sting more than when he implied you were with Haechan because of his power. It is true that you are not experienced. Even though you were with Jaemin for a while, you two never…went all the way. You were perhaps far too romantic but you wanted to save it for your wedding night.

"Well, lucky for you, you'll never get to feel how warm I can be," you say with a self-assured smile. "Now, piss off and let me enjoy my wedding."

Jaemin rolls his eyes and seemingly has nothing else to say, leaving you alone.

Why did he have to say all that stuff? You know it's not entirely true, but it still sucks. Jaemin was the one who ended what you two had with his cruel words. It's just that you were the only one brave enough to finally call it quits. And you're glad you did. He may be bitter now but he'll eventually find someone better suited for his character. As for you…you were perfectly happy with Haechan. And you wouldn't let Jaemin ruin your special day.

Eventually, the guests started leaving one by one and it was time for your wedding night. To say you are nervous would be an understatement. Your hands are shaking more badly than the first time you were summoned to Haechan's chambers. You are aware that he's a good person who will treat you right…but he's still your king and that fact is intimidating enough to make you tremble with anticipation.

"Good evening, my lovely wife," Haechan enters your (gods, this is insane) now shared room.

Your mind completely blanks and you have no idea what to say. So, you just start crying.

Haechan immediately rushes to you, embracing you and kneeling next to you.

"What's wrong? What did I do?"

"N-nothing," you manage. "It's not your f-fault."

"What is it?" he asks again. "Did Jaemin say anything?"

"How did you know?" you blink furiously to clear your vision from the tears.

"He's not over you yet, is he? It's obvious from the way he looks at you. And me. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's still as objective as he can be when giving me advice, but…he sometimes stares at me as if I stole his dinner. Not that you're dinner. You're obviously much more important than that and uh…I really should stop talking, shouldn't I?"

You laugh, pleasantly distracted by his ramblings.

"You're good. And he did say some stuff implying I was a gold digger, but…frankly, I don't care about his opinion."

"I'm gonna kill him," Haechan gets up but you are quick enough to grab his wrist.

"No, please, stay. Let him think what he wishes. I only care about what your opinion of me."

"Darling, I am perfectly confident you did not marry me because of my title."

"I know. I'm not talking about that. I mean…I'm just nervous I won't be able to please you. I've never done this before," you explain nervously.

"You and Jaemin never…?" Haechan waves his hand in the air meaningfully.

"I wanted to wait till my wedding night. So, um, here we are, I guess."

"Oh, my angel," Haechan places a hand on your cheek. "You don't have to worry about that. Just, relax, and let me take care of you."

"No, no. Teach me. I'll do anything you say, just…guide me, please?" you plead him, looking up at him, your eyes still moist with tears.

"Okay," Haechan agrees easily. "Take off your clothes."

You gulp anxiously and start unbuttoning your wedding dress. Why is it so hard? Why are there so many freaking buttons?

"Gods, you're trembling," Haechan points out the obvious and his impatience takes over. He removes your hands from your dress and finishes the remaining buttons himself. You are grateful for his help, but you still feel like a total failure for not being able to complete one simple task.

"I'm s-sorry," you pout.

"Don't apologize," Haechan shakes his head. "Can I touch you?"

You nod and he caresses you with his pretty fingers. It feels so sticky and weird but…weird good. Definitely good.

"You're so cute, you know that?"

"N-no, stop," you disagree, chuckling.

"Stop what? Stop doing this?" Haechan teases you but continues his motions, because he sees how much you're enjoying it.

"Stop calling me cute," you elaborate.

"You're so not cute," Haechan obliges jokingly. "That was a lie, by the way."

You laugh again, not just because of his words, but because the things he's doing with his hands make you feel so amazing you can't hold it in.

"You like that, my pretty wife? You like being touched by your husband?" Haechan talks you through it.

"Yes! So much! You have no idea!" you scream as you fall apart under him.

"I think I do," he smirks proudly and lets you ride it out. Then, he takes his fingers out…and licks them clean. Your eyes widen in shock. You've never imagined such a sight possible. The king of the country just did…THAT to you. And against all reason, you're still breathing.

"Show me how to do this to you," you beg, wanting to make him feel as good as you.

"It won't be the same," Haechan giggles. "But I'll give the best of me."

He takes off his clothes hurriedly, extremely excited to teach you everything he knows. You are amazed to see him in his full glory. His golden skin radiates in the dimlit room.

"You look incredible," you gasp.

Haechan tilts his head to the side, his cheeks turning red.

"May I touch you?" you ask reverently, still in awe of his sun-like beauty.

"We're married. Of course you can," Haechan reminds you sweetly and guides your hand, showing you all the way he likes to be touched, telling you what feels good and what doesn't (though everything you do feels good for him but he won't tell you just yet).

You do your best to follow his instructions and soon enough become bold enough to start experimenting yourself. He is enjoying it judging by the expressions on his heavenly pretty face.

"You're so hard. Isn't it uncomfortable?" you inquire, genuinely curious.

"It kinda is. But it's also a good thing. It means I'm really into you."

"The way when you touch me and I'm drippin' and it's kinda strange but also feels nice?" you try to explain the logic in your own terms.

"Exactly that way. You're a quick study," Haechan praises you.

"I just have a very good teacher," you compliment him in return and kiss him deeply, your hand still stroking him.

Soon enough, his release comes and you marvel at how much of it there is. You gather some of it with your finger and lick it, just like he had done with you.

"Fuck. You don't have to do that," Haechan moans.

"But you did it? Isn't it okay?" you blink innocently.

"It's not that it isn't okay. Just saying, you don't have to. I bet it tastes weird."

"No, it's not weird," you shake your head adamantly. "I mean, it's you, so I think it tastes sweet."

"Better than poison?" Haechan teases.

"Definitely better," you agree without thinking.

"I know you've been tasting my meals even when I told you to stop," Haechan blurts out all of a sudden.

"You knew?" you whisper in shock.

"I felt so bad but I didn't mention it because I knew no matter what I said, you'd keep doing it."

"You thought correctly," you sigh. "But you don't have to feel bad. I'm also taking little doses of poison each day, so I'll be fine. We'll both be fine, I'll make sure of it."

Haechan kisses you again, gripping your hair firmly, but gently at the same time.

"Remind me again what did I do to deserve you?"

"Did the Sun ever do anything but shine to make the Earth revolve around it?" you smile fondly.

"You're saying I'm your Sun?" Haechan presses his forehead against yours.

"Provided I'm your Earth," you respond.

"Well, did you know the fate of the Earth is to be consumed by the Sun?" Haechan informs you with a sweet voice but sombre expression.

"Consume me, then," you gladly consent and he slides inside of you all too smoothly.

Earth and Sun, moving together as one. Two entirely different worlds and yet…you belong with each other.

"You're too sweet for me," you murmur, chasing his lips once more.

"You've had too much poison your taste buds are off," Haechan jests.

"Maybe so," you grin. "I should probably drink more of you as an antidote."

"I'm counting on it, my beloved wife."

The End

[qlventingspace]

I'd like to drop some of my thoughts about The Heart Killers here.

You know I'm kinky ace, my love of Pete in the VegasPete days was quite evident as well as my belated realization that I forgot I've always been kinky on some level.

I get that show like Heart Killers is not everyone's cuppa and it's totally fine to be sad about not being able to watch show with your favourite actors for whatever reason.

But.

But this is a show made by a queer man about fantasy queer men.

If you start hating on it (based just on what was shown to us in a trailer) just because you can't watch it and/or it's too sexual or kinky for you ... that's not a problem of the show.

That's a you problem. If you don't like, do not watch and for fucks sake do not start with moralizing.

I'm more than happy to be surprised and I'm on the edge of my seat looking towards what the show is gonna be like bc they didn't give us any concrete hints.

FUCK YES.

I also think that First and Khaotung are literally powerhouses regarding acting and I can't wait to see them in completely new roles we haven't seen them before.

It's surprising, yes, considering how fluffy and cute and comfy vibes they're excluding in their own personal lives but what do we know?! Maybe they wanted to try smth new or maybe they are multifaceted people who like the roles for personal reasons?

Not my place to speculate.

But to see people insisting on them being pushed to filming scenes like that against their will or feeling like they are 'too pure' for kink or sex scenes - that is outright disrespecting their integrity and free will and truly viewing them as only a dolls fans can play with and dictate what they can and cannot appear in.

They are talented, mindful and picky actors, who have enough of will and freedom to choose whatever roles they wanna explore.

P'Jojo is adamant about actors being okay and comfortable filming scenes like that and it was also mentioned that the final nc scenes are always first approved by the actors who star in them (as mentioned in the OF bts).

So knowing all that, insisting on FK being somehow unwilling participants of that, is reeking of homophobia and fan entitlement to actors choices. Stop that.

I went on a tangent a bit.

What I wanted to share as well though is the joy and anticipation!!

I struggle with series that literally rely just on sex scenes, while the plot, cinematography and editing is shite. In those cases sex scenes (though filmed well) are not enough to keep me interested.

In case of Heart Killers I am only excited. I know Jojo's work, so that's in itself is guarantee of quality as well as authentic queer experience (or fantasy in this case).

The soundtrack again will be a blast bc of Jojo's excellent taste and ofc Khaotung singing the smashing ost.

As for the genre I still have no fucking clue what's that supposed to be but I'm swinging wildly from action to romance to crime to comedy to thriller.

(side note: why are people now complaining about it being "soft/lith porn" is beyond me when similar people were excited about porn in different series ??? explain?

sideside note: also manymany straight media is basically porn hiding under fantasy or romance genre but I don't see people accentuating those being porn when talking about them

sidesideside note: also reducing the series that HAVEN'T EVEN COME OUT YET to mere porn is outright disrespectful to creators as well as actors)

The plot (excluding any possible spoilers since I avoid them like a fucking plague) seems engaging and interesting and full of twists and it will probably be not what we imagine or expect but that's exactly what I ehehe EXPECT of it.

As for the sex and kink.

Why should it be smth bad or morally wrong just because it's a bl? Just because it's a gay sex and kink?

I swing wildly between finding sex scenes boring, fascinating, completely no shut it off and being horny cause it's hot.

It's just how I am.

THK has the advantage that it has FK to keep my hyperfixation happy and considering the filming crew, the aesthetics and general vibe of the nc scenes will be bloody fucking beautiful.

I was fully hooked from the trailer and I can say that the combo of FK talent, sub/dom vibes, bondage and probably whole layer of christian guilt (saw you Jesus on a shirt, I'm so sorry) will be my downfall.

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

My Journey to You was a coming of age/romance/who done it complete with a very long explanation from the mastermind whilst everyone looked on:

Which I loved by the way, always great when they walk you through the mystery with helpful little flashbacks. Wonderful. They also explained why that one dude is a blue-haired child but actually old!

I liked the main plot and the main pairing (sunshine melts the cold assassin), but I didn't love the second couple. He loves her, does he? What is her real personality? He doesn't know. She was playing him the whole time! It's like my least favourite romcom How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. You cannot build a relationship on lies no matter how hot the two people might be within it...

The one part I also found kind of silly, though I do understand the cultural context, is the very long explanation of how Gong Ziyu's dad actually loved him (I guess) because he got him a super good bodyguard or whatever. Can you please just hug your child once in his life? You won't die. His mom is excused for having crippling depression (that backstory was sad). Either way, he grew up thinking the only person who loved him was his assassin Step Mother.

The most fun character was of course, the Poison Brother, Gong Yuanzhi, who is desperately competing with a ghost for his brother's love.

He was great! However, if the Gong family was smart, they really should have just given him a wife at the same time as his older brother. I know he's too young, but it would have worked! Like when you buy a gift for your younger child on the elder child's birthday so they don't get too jealous. Or just get him a pet tarantula, same difference. But of course the whole family is too damaged and insane for such foresight.

(I told my East Asian co-worker about the parent plot and they informed me that their father only let them hug him once a day max because that was "enough", so there's that)

[ilsaafaust]

Thoughts on Ilsa Faust in DR. Spoilers.

Thinking about Ilsa Faust's fate in Dead Reckoning and director Christopher McQuarrie's comments about it in the Empire Podcast. As a fan of the franchise and with Ilsa being my favourite character, I feel like I had to write a little something based on the movie and his reason for it. A lot of fans are upset (including me) and I want to write something properly, not just the angry tweets and posts. 

To start off, they wanted Ilsa to die already back when they were making TGM. And his reasoning seems to be that he didn't want Ilsa and Ethan to be romantic. Just that baffles me, if you don't want romance, how can you not just write a script where Ilsa and Ethan stay platonic? They handled it well in Rogue Nation and Fallout, you can see they care for each other deeply, but they don't act on it. We could have had Ilsa on the team, she could have gotten out of the game but was brought back in for some reason, she could have had literally any other story. But the fact that the only thing that seemed to come to mind if he didn't want to make them romantic was to kill her off seems very odd. 

He also talked about wanting to work with Hayley Atwell for over ten years and this fact seems a little too convenient when thinking about why he had to kill Ilsa off. But we'll come back to Grace later. 

He explains that they killed Ilsa off before they even knew the reason why. They killed off one of the most popular characters of this franchise without even having made up the reason behind it. We know that they work without a script, but making such a huge and impactful decision (he says he knew the fans would be upset) without even knowing why baffles me. 

I also need to point out, I would have been fine if she had been given a decent, meaningful death. Yes, I would have been sad, but had it felt worthy it would have been one thing. With how they handled her death in this, I can't be sad. I am just mad. Frustrated. Confused. 

Let's talk about Ilsa's storyline in this film. At the end of Fallout, she got out. In this film, she is disavowed for some unknown reason, and she is brought back into the game with the whole thing about the key. Kittridge says some weird comments about Ethan and Ilsa's relationship, that Ethan has saved Ilsa over and over when it is clearly the other way around. Let's go with this just being Kittridge getting it all wrong and not McQ but.. what do I know.

Ethan finds her in the desert and the whole scene is very rushed, they barely even talk, and.. she just hands him the key? What was Ilsa's plan? Ilsa's purpose? We don't know and we never find out (at least not in part one). Maybe there was more to it, more to Ilsa's story, we know they cut a lot of the movie, and we know for sure they cut at least two of Ilsa's scenes. 

Then she just shows up in the van in Rome before they end up in Venice. 

In Venice, we have Ilsa and Ethan hugging on a rooftop and holding hands on the gondola on their way to the party. For someone who claims that they didn't want Ilsa and Ethan to be romantic, I have a lot of questions. Especially since we also had the desert hug where she is literally on top of him. She is clearly a romantic interest, there's no questioning that. And to be honest, that is basically her only purpose in this movie. 

Now things get a little messy because we arrive at the party. I have always been a fan of McQ's writing of female characters. He did absolutely fantastic in Rogue Nation, Fallout and Edge of Tomorrow. At the party, the villain gives Ethan the choice between Ilsa or Grace. One of them has to die. 

Now, we know Ethan cares about Ilsa a lot, so the choice should be simple, her compared to this woman he just met who kept running away from him over and over and left him to die on a train track handcuffed to a car. The thing is, Ethan Hunt can't make that choice. He cares about each and every individual. 

We've now arrived at the reason why Ilsa dies. And I cannot begin to express my distaste for the cliché writing of having a male character choose between two women, one who is a love interest and the other who is so obviously made out to be the new female lead (and potentially, a new love interest, Ethan/Grace share some suspiciously weird longing looks but the fans are divided if it is romantic or not). 

Ilsa or Grace. Apparently, there can only be one woman on the team, which the previous films have shown us, too. 

I just need to add that they're working against an all-knowing AI, so why isn't "the choice" between Luther or Benji? Ethan's two very best friends, two brilliant tech minds who must be a bigger threat to the entity as well?

In the end, it all comes back to that it's not people that Ethan loses - it's women. And there is only space for one brunette woman on that team. 

So let's talk about the bridge scene. First of all, Grace has been running the entire movie, why would she suddenly stop running when there is a man literally trying to kill her? 

Anyways, she holds him off surprisingly long considering she's just a thief and with how in the previous action sequences she kind of came off as a damsel in distress. Eventually, Gabriel knocks her down the stairs. 

Enter Ilsa Faust. Highly capable spy, Ethan Hunt's equal, a woman who we know is lethal in hand-to-hand combat. We saw her take down Janik Vinter in a knife fight at the end of Rogue Nation and we saw her take down Solomon Lane in Fallout (tied to a bloody chair). 

She even has the advantage of a sword compared to the villain who has a tiny knife. They fight. For some reason, Ilsa manages to get in way too close several times (watch the choreography for the RN knife fight - she's quick, get in, slash, get out, you can't linger in a knife fight) and she somehow doesn't seem to be able to hold off the old villain longer than Grace. 

She gets stabbed in the chest. Ethan finds her dead on the bridge. In the next scene, Ethan looks sad on a rooftop for a few moments. Benji wipes a tear. They never talk about Ilsa again. It's underwhelming in every sense. 

But what makes it worse, is the fact that in the next scene, the team asks Grace to join the team. Not going to get into the writing of that whole scene, but the thing is, they do it in a way that is basically "look what happened to Ilsa." and the things they say honestly make the team seem very cold-hearted considering Ilsa just died. And we know the team is not cold-hearted. Yes, there's a mission and they need to focus on the job, but they really didn't have to do it like that.

When I tell you I have a bad taste in my mouth, boy, do I mean it. Ilsa dies and in literally the next scene she is replaced by Grace. 

Now comes the talk about her death which McQ describes as "very heroic". I'll admit, in one way, I get why he thinks it is a heroic death. Ilsa sacrificed herself to save someone else, that would be a worthy ending for someone who dedicated their whole life to saving the world, saving people. 

What baffles me is how he doesn't see how poorly executed the whole ordeal was, which is what fans and a lot of critics are upset about (see list of articles criticizing it here:  https://www.tumblr.com/rebeccalouisaferguson/723559978545414144/list-of-articles-criticizing-ilsa-fausts?source=share ) 

Is it fridging? In one way it is; Ilsa is Ethan's love interest and we know "the choice" between Ilsa and Grace happens because Ethan cares about her. McQ also mentioned it happening to up the stakes, so..

Yes, she also died because she decided to save Grace, but there's more than one reason for her death.

I feel like what also needs to be mentioned is that article with editor Eddie Hamilton who said they cut a "badass" line from Ilsa when she arrived at the bridge. They cut it because it lowered the audience's expectations for what they were about to see. "In the audience's mind, you know that Ilsa is going to kick some serious ass. She kicks a bit of ass, but not a lot. It's not a complete, devastating, ass-kicking, which you hope Ilsa is going to give at some point." They later removed this bit from the article because of backlash. We, the audience, know that Ilsa is better than and so do they. 

We know they're doing damage control, a lot was cut from the delayed Empire part two podcast. Somehow, the more they talk about it, it gets worse.

I know this movie is only part one and there might be more explanations for all of this in part two. But with what we've seen in this film, they fumbled her death so badly that the one thing that would make sense is that it is all a trick and she comes back in part two. There are many theories on that, but I'm not going into details or speculating on that here. 

A testament to how badly they executed her death is that people literally can't believe they'd fail her character this badly. McQ who we all thought was a brilliant writer. McQ who wrote one of the best female characters we've seen in years only to throw her out as if she was garbage. No matter what happens in part two, one thing is for sure. 

Ilsa Faust deserved better.

[on-wine-dark-seas]

1-50 for https://www.tumblr.com/osunism/773000470377775104/fanfiction-writer-asks 😈

This feels like homework omg! Sorry this took me so long to answer. I got super busy but we are back!

Some of these questions require a specific request, so I've put them in red in case you want to revisit and ask for specific fanworks I've written or whatever the question calls for.

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

I was in like third grade? I started off making little mini comics, but as I started reading more chapter books, I experimented with writing my own stories. My first foray into this was Sailor Moon and then The Fifth Element.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favorite if you write for more than one?

I currently only write for Jujutsu Kaisen. I don't know what happened to me over the last two years, but this anime/manga has become such a prominent hyperfixation and joy in my life. I've been enjoying my reread of the physical manga collection, and collecting merch. Something in me, maybe 14 year old me, feels healed when I write my fics for this fandom. I thought I'd lost my taste for anime for good, honestly.

I used to write for the Dragon Age fandom but I lost interest in it for a myriad of reasons, chief among them being that the fandom was so incredibly bad for my mental health. So for now, I'm just gonna focus on JJK.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I have a LOT OF OPINIONS ABOUT THIS SUBJECT SO PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THESE ARE MY PERSONAL OPINIONS AND NOT ME TRYING TO PASS IT OFF AS FACT. Transformative works--like all artistic media--are subjective. I cannot force the OC x Canon agenda, but I can explain my reasoning for sticking to it so adamantly, and encouraging others to try it as well.

I am the OC x Canon queen. While I can read reader-insert fic, I prefer to write OC x Canon because--and this is just my personal opinion: a lot of the reader-insert fic is just OC x Canon only the OC doesn't have a name and is addressed in second person. I say this because in order for me to feel immersed in something like a reader-insert fanfic as if I'm the subject, I have to have a choice in how the story unfolds. I--the reader--have to be able to choose my own adventure, and most reader fic does not accommodate for that simply because it can't without a lot of experience in narrative design. This doesn't mean reader-insert can't be enjoyable, I just don't make the connection needed for it to feel like I'm in the story so much as I'm watching someone else experience it.

OC x Canon is just easier and more honest to me because it's unapologetically self-indulgent and can still be fun for readers to follow along and enjoy if you can write compelling characters [something I'm realizing people find hard to do].

Most writers who do exclusively reader-insert would excel at OC x Canon if they just traded the reader for an OC, because the stories are GOOD AS HELL. I think everyone is just afraid of the Mary Sue label which is stupid and misogynistic and has done irreparable harm to fandom for generations. Making people feel bad for making up characters to insert into the canon story never made sense to me, and always stank of fandom dudebros shaming women [the demographic largely responsible for fanfiction in the first place] for centering themselves in the story.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

Romance. I believe in the redemptive power of love. Sue me.

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi-chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

I've been rereading Beast of No Nation and Daughter of Disgrace repeatedly and as much as I love them both since they're some of my most polished fics to date, I will always, always, always love my Dragon Age fic, Maledictus.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

I've already done so. Somewhere, in the bowels of Fanfiction(dot)net, my original account is still there, with all the attendant fanfic I published as a heartfelt 13 year old.

7) When is your preferred time to write?

Right now [middle of the fucking night]. I've always been a night creature so writing late into the night is best. The world is quiet and I don't anticipate any interruptions to my flow.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

All types of media. Toni Morrison's words about looking at the world like a writer have always stuck with me, so I'm always narrating life in my head, finding new ways to describe things, connecting new metaphors and simile, etc. Then of course there's my intimate and detailed playlists, mostly character event soundtracks that lead me into daydreams a la Sucker Punch.

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Since this is supposed to be a request, I'm going to pick Daughter of Disgrace and say all of chapter 11.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?

I wanted an excuse to write AUs about Sukuna and Nadja forever.

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I don't get a lot of comments or feedback to begin with, and I only welcome concrit from trusted mutuals and friends. I've made spelling corrections of course, but I don't let people dictate to me how to tell my story. If one wants that honor, they can offer to become my beta reader and editor.

12) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Nadja. She's so complex and alluring and intriguing. I love exploring her thoughts.

13) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Gojo. I haven't written for him a lot and he's so incredibly goofy and corny it's hard for me to shake the dark melodrama of my prose to nail his voice down because he is always guaranteed to add levity to any scene he's in.

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.

Since you didn't request a specific story, you can send me another ask and make it a separate post. Every title is intentional for me.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

In my culture, the naming of a child is important enough to warrant a grand ceremony because the names we are given are attributes we are expected to exemplify throughout our lives.

I treat my OCs the same way. Their names shape their nature.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?

Another one that requires a specific request. :3

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

From What No Shackles Can Keep:

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Anything unfinished in my Dragon Age collection will remain so. I don't care if it makes me sound arrogant: that fandom treated me like dogshit for years. They don't deserve anything more from me.

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Already working on several for my JJK series. Most of the fics in the Parallax 'verse will be loosely connected, but I'm working on learning to finish before posting anything new.

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Always. As much as I polish my craft and feel proud of my stories, my head is always springing forth new ideas. I even had a few things I wanted to add to Beast of No Nation.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

I have so many. God, so many. One thing I will say about the JJK fandom? No shortage of real skill and talent and storytelling. So many people I've crossed paths with who just spitball the most insane and glorious ideas. I'm always in awe, and I can always find something new and delightful. I don't have the room to list them all and I don't want anyone to feel left out or snubbed in case I inevitably forget to tag someone but I try to leave comments, reviews, and friendly messages for them when I can. I know how important that feedback is to keep the motivation to go on. So I make sure to give my faves their flowers in sincerity. They know who they are too [thanks for letting me yap!]

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

My MCU stuff. But I also give myself grace because I was really having fun. I was so used to just posting fic with no expectation of feedback that I was so shocked so many people loved my fics back then. I left most of my Loki/Amber stuff up to remind me not to lose that spark of self-indulgent joy that comes from writing stories I want to read.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Both. If I'm locked in, I can listen to music and flow. But for the most part, I prefer silence or white noise, or having a show playing in the background while I write.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Love to read 'em, love to write 'em, and I be fucking for real. The nastier the better. I'm always perfecting my approach to it but I've gotten great feedback on my smut over the years.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Currently crying while writing What No Shackles Can Keep. One of my readers expressed they would love to see more Sukuna/Nadja stuff and you know what? I agree. So here we are.

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?

Another specific request. :D

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I used to just fly by the seat of my pants but now I make detailed outlines before writing. It's been a huge help in keeping my stories on track. And it's helping me practice my pacing. One day I'll hit the sweet spot and find my stride.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

Sometimes what you like to write is what no one else is interested in reading, but it's okay because as long as it made you happy to write/read, that's a good start. I've also learned that sometimes it takes a LONG TIME for your stories to find their audience, but there is someone out there who will be grateful they found your stories. I've had people message me about my fics before and that always makes me feel good.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Literally all of them lol? I am used to not getting much traction and I know popular does not always mean it's particularly good. Just means that that's something a lot of people wanna read. Like I said in the previous answer: it takes a while to build an audience. I know my writing is good, and maybe a few years from now the people who need stories like mine will find them. It's happened before.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

There's this one Dragon Age fic I wrote with my Inquisitor and the fandom fave, Cullen. It still gets a ton of kudos and bookmarks [relative to my usual tumbleweed stats lol] and I've been debating just deleting it. It wasn't that good, and I was not in a good headspace when I wrote it, plus it got popular because some asshole whitewashed my OC and plagiarized it verbatim. Just a whole mess.

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)

Another specific request.

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?

No. And I hate when people think they are. I love the people in my life, but I'm not that kind of writer. However, I may use my personal experiences to inform my writing, which is par for the course.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

That my OCs are cool as fuck and I write fight scenes really well.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I literally got a racist screed about my OC dumping the fandom favorite for a mid-tier villain the fandom didn't even care about. The crime of having Black female characters comes with the tarring and feathering of bored, mousey white women who aren't brave enough to admit they feel a way when they see Black characters they can't take and treat like dogshit to validate their own stories [this happens a lot with canon Black female characters, so Black OCs piss those types off something serious].

As far as valid and sincere criticism that was given in good faith? Basically I need to work on my narration for clarity. And my personal criticism of myself is my pacing is shit.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I keep them close to my chest. I'm protective of my ideas and my characters and I've had people either steal my ideas/character concepts, or outright insult my ideas/characters for whatever reason. As a result, I'm wary about who gets that level of access to my creative process.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

No. I have mutuals in the midst of reading my fics. And since I don't get much traction on my fics, wouldn't you rather just read them for yourself instead and support me? Thank you. :D

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

I'm bad at humor, but I wrote a story called Pasagewa. That's Hausa [my native language] for "breaking the balls" which is a term we use when breaking in a horse. It was basically my first time writing a pegging fic. I believe it's still on my AO3.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

I commissioned septembersummer for one fic which I suppose counts as a collaboration since we both put our heads together to come up with the story using my OC! It gave me a high I've been chasing ever since and I want to do more collaborations with other writers in the fandom.

But again, the trust issues. And JJK fandom is notoriously clique-ish and insular, so I am content to stay in my sandbox and build my castles on my own. I do have a dream list of collaborators. I just have no fucking idea what I'd work on with them. I just know I'd love to see what we come up with!

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

I prefer first and third. Second is for reader-inserts which I don't write [save for that one Toji fic where I was literally just experimenting with it]. I prefer first person because it puts you directly inside the character's head, but fanfic just lends itself to me writing in third because I'm usually dealing with a much larger cast of characters and bigger situations.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

Yeah. My boyfriend reads my fanfic and loves it. He doesn't read my JJK stuff since he hasn't read the manga and only watched the anime, but he's read my BG3 fics, etc. And he's usually present WHILE I'm writing lol.

Not only that, my parents used to catch me reading/writing smutty fic back in high school. My mom still has some of the handwritten PAGES of Fushigi Yugi, X, and Ronin Warriors fanfic I used to write. I guess I should count it as a blessing that I never really got into writing yaoi very often or that would have opened up a whole different can of worms with my conservative Muslim parents. LOL

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?

Hmm...that's tough. I guess it was this random cleric from Dragon Age talking to Samson about the nature of faith.

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.

Another specific request.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

I mean...yeah?

44) What is the last line you wrote?

Sukuna frowns. Now he’s annoyed. “Where the fuck else could we be?”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Encouragement from mutuals, music, WEED. My bestie just hooked me up with some homegrown shit from his homie so I can't wait to put that one in the bong when I get home.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?

A specific request!

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?

A request. I won't answer this one because it's a roundabout way to get a fic request out of me. You can write this, anon. <3

48) What’s your favorite trope to write?

Enemies-to-lovers [doomed optional].

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

It was a Ronin Warriors fanfic that was sort of a crossover with X-Men? The lead OC looked like Rogue and was shipped with my favorite character, Shuten Doji. I'll never forget it because it was also my first smut fic I ever read and that change me forever.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Angst. My prose just flows like that. Heavy and ominous.

[semper-legens]

76. Crumbs, by Danie Stirling

Owned: No, library Page count: 383 My summary: Ray has a favourite order at her local bakery - tea with a side of Romance. When she catches the eye of Laurie, the musician-turned-barista behind the bar, there’s a spark between them instantly. But it’s never that simple when magic is on the cards. Ray is a seer, aiming for a job on the Council; the Council who must erase themselves from the memories of anyone they used to know. And Laurie wants to get serious with his music. Will they be able to make it work, or is love not possible for someone with ambitions? My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

I read this one before - for some reason, I was thinking of it recently, and lo and behold, there it was sitting on the shelves for me to reread. It's a charming little story, one that was a Webtoon before being collected into a graphic novel format. A tale of love and loss and tough choices; a coming-of-age narrative in more ways than one. It's also the right kind of length to read in one sitting, which is handy for me - I really like that in a graphic novel. I was utterly charmed by it again, and I'd recommend checking it out.

In my earlier post, I didn't really give much time to the art, so I'm going to talk about it now! It's very colourful, with a mystic kind of haze over it and a lot of rounded lines. I keep saying the word 'charming', but that's really what it was, it was charming in its presentation. I wasn't sure, however, if some of the art didn't suffer a bit from being upscaled into a print comic format? Some of the haziness that I had assumed was stylistic came across at times as blurriness, and I didn't really see why that was being used. It wasn't too distracting, it was just something I noticed. Other than that, though, it's gorgeous art, and in particular the artist really makes the baked goods and coffee Ray gets at the bakery look very appealing.

Ray and Laurie are very believable characters. Caught in the awkward young adult stage where you're just kind of coasting by and figuring out who you are and what you want from the rest of your life, they're trying their hardest to make it in their respective paths. Laurie wants to be a musician, while Ray wants to be on the Council. But both of those ambitions come with problems. Laurie, as I said in my earlier post, was very relatable to me - he wants to be all things to all people, but this is often at the expense of his own happiness, and he doesn't ask for help or rely on others easily. Ray, on the other hand, wants to follow the path that was set out for her by her gifts - she wants to do Great Things, but cannot quite accept that placing herself where her abilities will be most useful is not the most glamorous of work. These are both really credible experiences for people at that age and in that position in life, and seeing Ray mature enough to go on and do great things or Laurie be able to reach out and be more honest about how he feels and when he's struggling is immensely satisfying.

I also like the worldbuilding here - there's very little exposition or explanation, and when it happens it's mostly organic and comes up naturally over the course of the narrative. This is a strength of the graphic novel format, I feel, elements can be introduced purely visually and the reader can intuit what's going on. Like the phones, for example - phones in this setting seem to be inhabited by little familiar spirits that can compose messages and set reminders for you, which is never explained, but we see it happening a few times and get the gist. Or how Ray's order at the bakery is Romance; we're never quite told that it's enchanted, but we understand it from context. As an overly wordy bastard who tends to write prose exclusively, I am jealous.

Next…a little book from a being named Bill.

[stromuprisahat]

I just couldn’t stand the Girl Bossing that happened s2 Sab. It seemed over the top, very flimsical and well it didn’t seem that they had to overcome or do anything substantial to get the attitude. Like what was Alina pretending to be so superior the entire show? Genya I can understand but why tf was she terrified of the Darkling before the Incident. Why look so terrified when getting rescued from cages and torture. Please explain. Less you talk of Zoya the better.

My favourite character in SoC was Inej but why turn her into fanatic.

No idea why Nina hates the Darkling? She is ok with her bf being a former hunter bit Darkling is BAD.

Ps- Dont like Tamar and Tolya

Also Alina had some of the cringiest lines - You envy our love

Ofc the darkling had The Worst lines. In both seasons.

Unfortunatelly, the writers have about two braincells to rub together, and the result looks accordingly.

Alina fell victim to the idea that a good heroine is a tough heroine, and a tough heroine has no feelings outside the preferred romance. Maybe some righteous anger, but what else could she need?!

Genya probably got kicked in the head, before they hung her in that cage, that's why she was constantly afraid and semi-hysterical.

Zoya's visibly the writers' fav. They're "subtly" setting her up for her queenship. (About as subtle as a herd of mammoths crossing a thawing lake, but nvm.)

Inej has the misfortune of being religious. More primitive mind cannot distinguish between that and a fanatic.

Nina hates the Darkling, because she adores Zoya, who hates him, and he wouldn't approve her semi-fictional relationship with Matthias (Remember that while she's frolicking around, sing-songing about their eternal love, he believes she betrayed him and got him into prison.). We shouldn't forget the Evil Dark Wizard sent one of his best men to look for her, when she was kidnapped by her bf's Nazi cult. Fucking cockblocker!

I've encountred an opinion that Bataar twins are better in the show. I don't know. I think the writers were relying too heavily on viewers already knowing them, but hey- if they don't have time to properly develop their MC, what else should we expect?!

I've written it before and I'll keep repeating it. I don't like book!Alina, but that self-important psychopath in the second season made me miss her. I feel genuinely sorry for Jessie. She deserved some consistency to play, instead of a flat, cruel, unfeeling amplifierfucker.

Aleksander wasn't half bad in first season, but the shit they made him do and say around Miss Psycho in season 2... I guess he's another candidate for brain damage...

[grey-and-green]

Storms We Cannot Weather

A Good Omens found poem, Crowley POV

(citations version)

(see original here)

I used to sit all alone in the dark (Cavanaugh Park: Something Corporate)

You fall….and… (Complicated: Avril Lavigne)

There was no reason. No explanation (Saw You in a Dream: The Japanese House)

I prayed that God would be forgiving (I Dreamed A Dream: Les Miserables)

But… (this could be literally any song)

Do you remember that day when we met? (It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish: My Chemical Romance)

Right from the start (A Thousand Years: Christina Perri)

I can’t quite explain… (Calling You: Blue October)

But the grace of your eyes can see good in me (Kite: Copeland)

Suddenly...my life doesn’t seem such a waste (Come What May: Moulin Rouge)

Why aren’t you scared of me? Why do you care for me? (Bury a Friend: Billie Eilish)

So I will not ask you where you came from. I will not ask. Neither should you. (Like Real People Do: Hozier)

And then...I fell in love with you… (Calling You: Blue October)

You say that love is not that easy (Hypocrates: MARINA)

Following their rules. Following the path of least resistance. (For a Fool: The Shins)

Bound by suffocating secrets (Gabriel: Valentina)

“This is Heaven, what I truly want” (Gods & Monsters: Lana del Rey)

But they don’t understand who you are (Gold: MARINA)

“How can I love when I’m afraid to fall?” (A Thousand Years: Christina Perri)

I believe there’s a way you can love me (Love Song: Sara Bareilles)

Listen….we won’t tell anyone (Rifle’s Spiral: The Shins)

They won’t get to us (Straw Dog: Something Corporate)

You might think I’m incapable of loving a soul like yours (Shesgotstyle: Never Shout Never)

Still I say there’s a way for us (On My Own: Les Miserables)

My darling, my sweetheart (Rise to Me: The Decemberists)

You’ve been so lonely in the name of being holy (Buy the Stars: MARINA)

It’s not that the darkness can’t touch our lives (September: The Shins)

Yet there’s still this appeal (Love Will Tear Us Apart: Joy Division)

The hopes of one day… (Rainy Monday: Shiny Toy Guns)

I don’t quite know how to say how I feel (Chasing Cars: Snow Patrol)

All the times I could have…Oh I just want to…. (Island: Coheed & Cambria)

I have loved you for a thousand years (A Thousand Years: Christina Perri)

I will love you until my dying day (Come What May: Moulin Rouge)

You’re still my favourite (Black and Blue: Chris Garneau)

And I’m willing to break myself (Break Myself: Something Corporate)

Asking if you love me (Calling You: Blue October)

Darling, don’t be afraid (A Thousand Years: Christina Perri)

We’ve nothing to prove (Simple Song: The Shins)

We don’t need anything, or anyone (Chasing Cars: Snow Patrol)

Is it possible to say….baby, let’s run away (Madi Don’t Leave: PlayRadioPlay!)

We can escape….away from all of this (Straw Dog: Something Corporate)

It’s different this time (Better Son/Daughter: Rilo Kiley)

Just you and I (It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish: My Chemical Romance)

Just our hands clasped so tight (I Will Follow you into the Dark: Death Cab for Cutie)

Just kiss like real people do (Like Real People Do: Hozier)

‘Til all that remains is the arms of an angel (Calamity Song: The Decemberists)

But love comes slow….and it goes so fast. (Let Her Go: Passenger)

Is my timing that flawed? (Love Will Tear Us Apart Again: Joy Division)

Who are you to tell me who to be? (Hypocrates: MARINA)

I don’t want your gold. (Gold: MARINA)

If you don’t know that by now then you don’t know me that well. (Buy the Stars: MARINA)

You played the martyr for so long that you can’t do anything wrong (Hypocrates: MARINA)

Some things never do change (Cavanaugh Park: Something Corporate)

That’s the lesson that you teach me (Hypocrates: MARINA)

In some sad way I already knew (Like Real People Do: Hozier)

I tried to give reasons...a thousand good reasons (All of my Good Friends, Goodbye: Luke Temple)

And in the end we’ll fall apart (It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish: My Chemical Romance)

I’ve done everything I know to try to make you mine (Long Long Time: Linda Ronstadt)

I know that I shouldn’t even try. It’s a waste of time (Saw You in a Dream: Japanese House)

You say you’re leaving? You’re already gone (Break Myself: Something Corporate)

You’ve gone too far. You broke my heart (Gabriel: Valentina)

You forgave. And I won’t forget (I Will Wait: Mumford & Sons)

There are storms we cannot weather. (I Dreamed a Dream: Les Miserables)

And I think I’m going to miss you for a long, long time. (Long Long Time: Linda Ronstadt)

A Thousand Years: Christina Perri

All of my Good Friends, Goodbye: Luke Temple

Better Son/Daughter: Rilo Kiley

Black and Blue: Chris Garneau

Break Myself: Something Corporate

Bury a Friend: Billie Eilish

Buy the Stars: MARINA

Calamity Song: The Decemberists

Calling You: Blue October

Cavanaugh Park: Something Corporate

Chasing Cars: Snow Patrol

Come What May: Moulin Rouge

Complicated: Avril Lavigne

For a Fool: The Shins

Gabriel: Valentina

Gods & Monsters: Lana del Rey

Gold: MARINA

Hypocrates: MARINA

I Dreamed A Dream: Les Miserables

I Will Follow you into the Dark: Death Cab for Cutie

I Will Wait: Mumford & Sons

Island: Coheed & Cambria

It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish: My Chemical Romance

Kite: Copeland

Let Her Go: Passenger

Like Real People Do: Hozier

Long Long Time: Linda Ronstadt

Love Song: Sara Bareilles

Love Will Tear Us Apart: Joy Division

Madi Don’t Leave: PlayRadioPlay!

On My Own: Les Miserables

Rainy Monday: Shiny Toy Guns

Rifle’s Spiral: The Shins

Rise to Me: The Decemberists

Saw You in a Dream: The Japanese House

September: The Shins

Shesgotstyle: Never Shout Never

Simple Song: The Shins

Straw Dog: Something Corporate

[salt-warrior]

favourite ship and why

If we're talking The Lunar Chronicles, it is—obviously—Kai and Cinder. I love their sarcasm and fun banter, but I really appreciate how well they understand one another and their responsibilities. They balance being playful but also gentle very well, and I think that just makes them enjoyable to read.

But out of all the ships in all the books I've read, my number one would have to be Blue and Gansey from The Raven Cycle. The scene in The Raven King when Adam asks Gansey how he knows he loves Blue—

“You're asking me to define an abstract concept that no one has managed to explain since time began. You sort of sprang it on me," Gansey said. "Why do we breathe air? Because we love air? Because we don't want to suffocate. Why do we eat? Because we don't want to starve. How do I know I love her? Because I can sleep after I talk to her. Why?”

I simply cannot handle them. Also the doomed romance gets me. And the way they slowly grow to understand one another. And how Blue makes Gansey quiet, and Gansey helps Blue to find and chase her passions. I just adore them. I could, quite actually, discuss them for hours.

[thejellyjester]

As Jane Austen summer turned into autumn for some, but was suspended for others I present my draft on Northanger Abbey. This was written one hot August night, in the midst of my Austenmania. I hope my fellow readers enjoy!

Northanger Abbey thoughts

We can rest assured that this 200-year-old novel has been discussed in a lot more comprehensible, thorough and superior ways than what you are about to read. These trivial reflections are, therefore, purely for the enjoyment of Austen Summer participants. 

Northanger Abbey is said to not be on the same level as the other five Austen novels, however I can’t help but find some aspects of the book very endearing. Even though this novel lacks depth of later works by Austen it makes up for in feeling  particularly youthful and passionate. What makes this book notable among the rest is the addition of gothic elements and first person narration. 

The melange of genres was my favourite part of the book. Even if the gothic fiction elements felt underdeveloped in the end, they created a new atmosphere and feeling, not usually present in any Austen books. It also served greatly for the characterisation of Catherine.

The heroine

Admittedly, one of the most intriguing aspects of the book. The very first sentence tells us that you wouldn’t expect a girl like Catherine Morland to be a heroine of a Jane Austen novel. Catherine is naive, ignorant and uninformed, the opposite of Elizabeth Bennet for example. To me, Catherine is the ultimate idealistic teen girly. She gets lost in literature and can’t always tell real life and fiction apart, always seeking to find the romantic nature of literature in real life. Her affinity for gothic fiction helps paint her as…, but ultimately pokes fun at her naivete. While it is easy to recognise oneself in many Jane Austen’s heroines it is particularly Catherine's romanticised view of the world, her search for fantasy and secrets as well as general fondness for antiquity that makes her so endearing to me. That being said, I can find no reason why Henry Tilney would marry her.

The romance

Yes yes, I love Henry Tilney and I love Catherine Morland, but the two of them together…? They are quite plainly the opposite of one another. Mr Tilney is witty and sarcastic and Catherine simply does not know what sarcasm is. Catherine is open and honest and Tilney is subtle and witty. Of course, being completely in agreement on all points is not necessary for marriage but I cannot foresee much felicity for this couple. Eventually, one will get tired of not being understood or the other of not understanding. Worst of all, Austen seems aware of this. In the final chapters she quite literally says that they get married because Tilney is grateful for Catherine’s affection? I fail to see how this is grounds for an Austenian marriage. Hopefully, I am currently unable to see some aspect of this that could explain my confusion. That being said, my opposition to this pairing did little do diminish the enjoyment of the courting. I have to admit that I was kicking my feet when Mr Tilney arrived in Fullerton (by the way, how interesting and fun was the use of Mrs. Morland’s POV for that moment?!).

The conclusion of this book falls in line with others of Austen, meaning it takes a chapter and all story lines are generally tied together. This particular conclusion felt even shorter or more forced than the other ones. Why was there suddenly a love interest for Elinor?

...

[theaenetworks]

Yesterday night,

I was discussing with Ajali,

My half sister,

And she exclaimed, “Love is caring”,

Perhaps,

Because I was in a different frame of mind,

I paused for a while and ruminate over it,

Otherwise,

The phrase is a popular notion in the world of fantasy.

I thought hard about it,

I also thought hard about the two men in my life,

Okwudiri and Echezona.

I knew both love me,

But,

I don’t know whose love surpasses.

Echezona was my favourite person,

My heart yearns more for him,

For reasons I cannot easily explain,

Perhaps,

Because he was always around,

And we enjoyed our company together,

Discussing deeply and laughing boisterously,

Though with caution,

Lest my step mother report me to my father.

Okwudiri seemed distant,

But I noticed,

He cared more for me.

He is always willing to compromise for my sake,

Though,

He had seen us in several occasions,

Playing the lover’s game of hide and seek,

Even across his farm in the far outskirts of Moju Kingdom,

He had seen me dance for Echezona,

Twisting my waist to the dry beating of the Ikolo,

Yet he had waved and passed, smiling.

Yet,

When I passed out in the dead of the night,

He was the first to come,

And carried me on his shoulder all the way to the herbalist’s hut,

Echezona came in the morning,

I heard he was aware that I had collapsed but was afraid to come,

Okwudiri was always speaking with me even after the widespread rumour that I was a spirit child,

Echezona avoided me for a while,

But when he started seeing us frequently and noticed that nothing happened to Okwudiri just like people envisaged,

He returned, begging.

I knew my heart lies with Echezona, the son of Ubaka,

But Okwudiri has my interest in his heart,

Ajali, my beloved step sister,

Has awakened in me that feeling of consciousness,

And I’m ready to choose wisely,

But,

What if, Okwudiri is just being caring with no emotions attached,

What if, I’m overreacting,

What if, Mbanefo the village drunkard is right,

He is always speaking gibberish, you know…

But,

How did he know that Okwudiri and I are destined to be together,

What does he mean when he said that,

Okwudiri knew about it and that is why he is not making a fuss over my love game with Echezona.

Wait,

What if, I have been dreaming?

What if, I’m slowly running a temperature and I need to visit the health center.

And,

What if, I am truly a spirit child.

Written by Mmesoma Nwobodo

https://anthonyemmanuel.com/mmeso-inspires-what-if/

#romance #Romantic #romancebooks #romanticsuspense #adventure #adventuretime #creative #creativity #mmesoinspires

[cloudoriant]

INTRODUCTION

Welcome to my corrupted mind.

Hello Dear Reader, I am Cloudoriant. I'm a, almost 19 year old, novice writer who desires to better myself and share my work. I mostly write romance and fantasy pieces but I'd like to try and expand into different genres at some point.

I hope you, Dear Reader, can help me improve my skills in writing with constructive advice and feedback on my writing.

I won't be very active on here as I have a part time job and I'm set to start as a student in a higher education course in hopes to start university in the near future. I'm also British so I hope that explains my difference in vocabulary.

A little bit more about myself: I go by She/Her mostly but I really don't care if any other pronouns are used, I'm pansexual but I am in a very loving relationship with my boyfriend and we'll be hitting our 1 year anniversary very soon.

My music taste is very diverse I listen to many genres in many languages so if you have a recommendation I would love to have a listen. I love Art and Gaming too. My special interest is Star Wars, I absolutely am obsessed with the Star Wars universe and I'm currently watching everything available on Disney+ in timeline order .

My favourite books I have read so far are: the ACOTAR series, the Shadow and bone and Six of Crows series, The 7 husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Punk 57 and I'm currently reading the Bridgerton series.

On my to be read list is: Lolita, the perks of being a wall flower and I'm thinking about buying the second book of the twisted series by Ana Huang when I can.

I may post book reviews too because why not.

I have a pet cat named Bella. She is my everything and I've had her since I was 15 and she was a kitten so the attachment to each other is very very strong.

Also, I'm an introvert so people are my least favourite thing and I may rant about certain people I "hate" from time to time because I just cannot help myself and it may be entertaining to you guys who knows.

I think that is everything, I look forward to sharing my work with everyone. 🫶

[pzychojinx]

Honest question here- I truly don’t understand why people are so obsessed over hozier when he writes such bone crushing depressing songs. It feels like there’s not enough hope in them and as someone that struggles with anxiety and depression and feeling lost on and off and has done so for years and it’s all an ebb and flow….it feels like Hozier presents a mindset I don’t want to be in.

Could you please explain it to me? I’m incredibly confused.

Hello anon!

Well, I cannot answer for everyone obviously, but as someone who also struggles a lot with mental health issues it has always helped me a lot personally to listen to songs that reflected my mindset, mostly because that way I wouldn't feel alone. (ie. my favourite band ever is Linkin Park, followed closely by My Chemical Romance, I used to listen to a lot of Evanescence, Icon for Hire, and so on)

This is not to say that the opposite experience isn't valid! It's just me, personally, well, I've always found a comfort in artists that reflected my darkest sides rather than in upbeat and/or more hopeful music and scenarios. So that might be it for a lot of people :)

As for Hozier, specifically, it's not even about this for me - I just feel so immersed in his songs, so transported to such an elsewhere plane of existence. But I do see how it can be too heavy for many people and that's okay!!

[late-to-the-party-81]

Of Mountains and Men

AN: Back for my mini celebration for 400 followers I asked folk to vote for one of four of my one-shots that they thought deserved a follow-up. I posted the sequel to Behave (Here with Us), but as the voting was so close, though I would work on the runner-up for this celebration. You guys love our thick-thighed daddy, don't you? Good, he deserves it. So please sit back and enjoy this follow up to In the Hall of the Mountain King.

Series Master list

Beta'd by @christywantspizza and @viva-asgardia, Divider by @firefly-graphics and mood board by me (I do not own any of the images)

Please also click on the link embedded near the end of the fic for the gorgeous art by @elkleggs that helped inspire me.

Pairing: M'Baku x Journalist! Reader (Sabi)

Word Count: 2.5k

CW: Culture clash, Minor Angst, Explicit sexual content (Oral - M and F receiving, Cum feeding, Unprotected P in V sex), M,Baku just being himself (that's a warning), realisation of feelings.

It had been a month since you’d arrived in Wakanda, and Gorilla City in particular.

Three weeks since the start of your whirlwind romance with M’Baku.

Not one person had batted an eyelid, or made any comment, as far as you were aware, when all your things were moved from your guest hut to M’Baku’s room. He was their leader and his decisions were not anyone’s to question. 

Except for you. 

You couldn’t seem to help it. Blame it on the culture clash or blame it on your own personality, perhaps. At least M’Baku never seemed to be that cross with you, as long as you didn’t question him anywhere but in these chambers, with only the two of you present.  

The combative nature between you made for some interesting discussions, and even more interesting apologies. M’Baku may have been the leader of the Jabari, and in public you would defer to that as a guest in his home, but in private, you bowed to no man unless you decided to.

There had only been one occasion, when observing him in his throne room, where you’d gone to open your mouth. However, barely a syllable had left your throat before you were hastened to silence by a barking grunt leaving M’Baku’s lips. He hadn’t even looked at you, still focused on the task at hand.

You'd been so embarrassed, but he had spoken to you more in length later on, as you’d pouted and railed at his rudeness.

“My flower, you need to observe, and learn more about us, how our tribe works. You may have thought me rude for cutting you off that way, but that is how all who interrupt are warned to stay silent. I cannot yet treat you differently. In our culture, you were the one being offensive, by questioning me in public.”

Somehow, despite your anger, you’d let him pull you into his arms, one hand cupping your face.

“I love your fire, little one. If you wish to know why I have decided things as I have, if you wish to censure me, do it here. I will listen and I will explain. And, believe it or not, if you convince me I am wrong I will admit it.”

His free hand had held you close, pressing your body against the length of his, his desire for you obvious. You’d both gone on to apologise to each other, long into the night.

So, you’d abided by his edict, saving your frustrations until the two of you were alone.

“Sabi, this is my city and my people. I will decide how disputes are settled…”

He was sitting in his favourite chair, in his vast chambers, lounging after a hard day of listening to petty grievances and squabbles, meting out justice.  You stood in front of him, hands on your hips, astounded by the way he was as immovable as the mountain he lived on.

“But you brushed the plaintiffs' concerns and arguments aside. You barely listened to him.”

M’Baku leant forwards, one corded arm snaking out to snag one of your wrists and pull you closer until you had no choice but to straddle his lap. As your soft inner thighs pressed against the muscled outside of his, you couldn’t help but marvel over the fact that this man, this warrior, this king, wanted you. He wasn’t quiet or shy in his worship of you.

“You have been here barely a month, ododo mi. And despite your best intentions, you do not know all the ways of the Jabari people yet. You do not know every nuance of our history.”

His broad hands settled on your waist, thumbs lightly rubbing at your soft skin, teasing gently. Gods, his touch was hypnotic.

“The man that you so valiantly champion comes here, every two weeks, almost without fail, with some issue about one neighbour or another. He is old, and this is his entertainment. We always schedule him last and wait with baited breath as to what he will be complaining about. I think it keeps him young.”

He chuckled, the deep sound vibrating in his chest. You pressed your hands against his pecs, feeling the movement and feeling the heat of him. Despite the fact he lived in the coldest place in Wakanda, up in the mountains, he was always warm, his body feeling like a furnace when he held you close in the night. 

You felt a wave of embarrassment wash through you, and you dropped your head with a sigh. You were frustrated with yourself. M’Baku clicked his tongue at you, tipping up your chin with the side of his forefinger.

“You still have lots to learn. You have only been here a short time. The longer you stay, the more you will know.”

The status of your relationship lay undiscussed, a yawning chasm between you. You both skirted round the edge of it. Would you want to stay long term if he wanted you to? Would he be willing to open himself to the possibility of a long term relationship with an outsider? For now, you both ignored the gorilla in the room, concentrating on the here and now, leaving tomorrow for another time.

“For now though, I think you have an apology to make…”

His smile was mischievous, his eyes sparkling with mirth and boyish charm, a million miles away from the gruff façade he presented. You weren’t immune to it, no matter how hard you tried. You grinned back at him.

“And does my king have any particular apology in mind?”

You raised an eyebrow as you shifted on his lap, grinding against him, before he eased you backwards, sliding you gently off his legs. You sank down to your knees, grateful for the thick furs that carpeted the floor. M’Baku spread his legs further and you settled between them, running your hand up the firm muscles of his thigh. 

He was so beautiful. The best painters and sculptors in the world would not be able to do this man justice. You could get lost in the peaks and valleys of his body; the juxtaposition between the hardness and softness of him. He was a study in contradictions, the fearsome warrior who eschewed meat. The serious ruler who laughed and giggled like a small boy when entertained.

You leant forward and pressed a kiss to his inside thigh, just above his knee. You looked up at him, his expression lustful, as your kisses rose up higher, your fingers trailing up the opposite leg.  M’Baku made quick work of the clasp of his skirts, pushing the furs away, as you inched closer to your prize.

Your lips trailed across his hips and your nose nuzzled into the curly hair that surrounded his base. You breathed in the earthy, musky scent that was all him, and you could feel your own desire pooling between your legs. 

Spitting into your palm, you took hold of his thick cock, fingers unable to meet, and your pussy clenched as your brain reminded you how it felt to be stretched around him. You moved your hand up and down slowly, spreading your spit and swiping your thumb at the precum leaking from his tip.

A low growl came from him, a noise tinged with impatient need.

“Sabi… please…”

You shivered. Here was this man, king of his people, pleading with you to pleasure him, as though only your touch could bring him to ecstasy. You wet your lips with your tongue before taking the head of his cock into your mouth.

He groaned and his hips twitched at the wet warmth you were surrounding him with. You bobbed your head, easing down his length, fraction by fraction. There was too much of him for you to take fully into your mouth, so you let your saliva spill down, jerking the rest of him with your hand, in time with your mouth.

One of his hands came to rest on your head, petting your head as he let his own fall back. You teased his frenulum and his slit in turn, your free hand massaging his heavy balls, and your fingers pressing into the soft spot behind them.

M’Baku’s fingers tightened on your scalp and he moaned again.

“Sabi, Sabi, Sabi… by Hanuman. Idan ni ẹnu rẹ.” He was reduced to pants and groans, brief mumbles in Yoruba, and little jerks of his hips as he tried to restrain himself from fucking up into your face. The lessening of his control was like an aphrodisiac and you moaned, the vibrations pushing him closer towards his end.

M’Baku came with a loud cry, unembarrassed to vocalise his pleasure. You held your head still as he bucked his hips once, twice, before spilling down your throat. You swallowed quickly, but some of his cum still leaked from between your lips. As you let his cock fall from your mouth, his hand slid down from your head and his thumb caught up the rogue rivulet of his salty spend. He brought the digit up to your lips and you drew it in, your gaze caught with his as you sucked it clean.

He pulled down your lower lip, moving his thumb over the soft wetness, before grasping the back of your neck and pulling you up to him, as he himself stood. His lips captured yours, tongue invading your mouth and tasting himself there. Your hands flew to the leather straps that still criss-crossed his chest, holding on to stop your legs giving out. 

You squeaked as M’Baku scooped you up, his strength turning you on even more. He lay you on the bed and removed the rest of his clothes and then yours. You were thankful the bed was closer to the hearth that was in his room. You watched as the golden light from the flames illuminated both your skin and his.

He moved over you, his large body covering yours, as he kissed you.

“I am bewitched by you; The hold you have on me, Sabi. You infuriate and beguile me in equal measure.”

He quickly switched your positions, so he was under you, then grasped your hips to draw you up him. You cried out as your clit rubbed over the planes of his body, until he moved you to sit on his face. He held you with a broad hand on each buttock, not allowing you to pull away.

As he set about eating your cunt, your hands flew to the wall behind the bed, to keep your balance. Moans and cries of pleasure were ripped from you. You were already so keyed up, and M’Baku so familiar with your body, that it didn’t take long for your orgasm to hit you. All your inhibitions left you as you ground down and fucked your self on him, his well trimmed facial hair rubbing at your inner thighs in a delicious burn.

You were incoherent as you rode out your orgasm, both praises and curses being levelled at the king beneath you. You sagged against him, dizzy and breathless, but you’d barely had the chance to get your bearings before he moved out from under you. 

You found yourself on your hands and knees, M’Baku crowding up behind you, his cock recovered and probing at your wetness.

“Yes…” You hissed out your need. His hand pushed down gently between your shoulder blades, and you dropped your upper body to the bed, arching your back.

His cock slid up and down your folds, spreading your wetness, and it was your turn to plead.

“Jowo,ọba mi. I need you.”

“Then you will have me, my flower.”

He breached you slowly, with short shallow thrusts. You felt yourself stretching to accommodate him, biting your lower lip to quieten your whimpers. 

“I want to hear you…”

He pawed at your breast, plucking at your nipple, and you clenched down on him as you moaned louder. He played with each breast in turn as he carved his way inside you, chuckling as your walls fluttered around him.

“The way you draw me in, little one. It is the most alluring sight.”

Both of you grunted as he bottomed out, and he rocked into you for a few moments as your body adjusted to the intrusion. When you became restless, and started to whine, he started up a slow thrusting. He was well aware of his size, but he was a gentle and considerate lover, and the last thing he wanted to do was cause you pain.

He had one hand on your hip, the other still clutching one of your breasts. You covered that hand with your own.

“More, please!”

At your plea he pulled your body upright, your back pressed to his broad chest as he pistoned in and out of you. He continued to fondle your breasts, and the hand that had been on your hip moved round and down, between your slippery folds. His rough forefinger moved over your swollen clit, causing your body to jerk and your pussy to clench.

“That’s it, ododo mi, let me have your pleasure. Let me worship you and give me that in return.”

Your head was leant back against his chest, your arms above your head, wrapped around his neck as you held on. M’Baku looked down at you, smiling at your fucked out expression as he continued to plunge in and out of you. 

He lowered his head to talk softly into your ear, “My beautiful Sabi-Star… cum for me. Cum for your king.”

You trembled in his strong arms, your mouth open in a silent scream as you came, tears prickling your eyes, as your senses were overwhelmed. Your heart felt swollen in your chest, beating so hard you thought it would burst out.

M’Baku came then, an almost triumphant roar echoing around the chamber as he pumped every bit of his cum into your spasming channel.

You collapsed together onto the bed, panting hard. Withdrawing from your body, M’Baku turned you in his arms, smiling broadly.

“Your passion never ceases to amaze me, my flower.”

You tried to smile back, but it wouldn’t come; your heart and head locked in an eternal struggle. You leant forward and dropped a kiss to his chest, before getting up and taking yourself behind the privacy screen, to use the chamber pot and clean up. 

When you came back out, M’Baku was lying back on the bed, resplendent and confident in his nudity. He continued to smile as you rejoined him on the bed, pressing yourself into his side, an arm over his thick waist.

“You are unusually quiet. Did I fuck all of the words right out of you?” 

His teasing tone did manage to bring a smile to your face then and you pinched him.

“I’m just tired, and need to sleep.”

He drew the furs over your bodies and dropped a kiss to your head.

“Then have sweet dreams, Sabi.”

You closed your eyes and willed yourself to rest, but your mind was racing a mile a minute. It was chastising you, because you’d lied to him. You weren’t alright; you were in love.

Tag list: @jobean12-blog @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky @tuiccim @beelicious-barnes @yarnforbrains @sidepartskinnyjeans @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @krissy25 @bodeckersdiamonddoll @turbolisedcomet @goldylions

[matsuokaparadise]

Birthday Present

Genre: slice of life, slight angst, mainly fluff, oneshot

Summary: you and Rin had been "separated" for a while, but you decide to send him a birthday message to break the months long silence and you find out that the feelings you thought had died had in fact just kept themselves hidden...

Heyheyhey sweethearts, guess who's back! I'm not even going to try to explain why I've been absent for literal ages (I'm kind of lazy lol), but I hope you guys will forgive me - here's a cute lil birthday fic because I cannot forget my favourite boy's 02/02... I hope you enjoy!

Also, in case you guys want a part 2... you know what to do;) It's gonna be all about that steamy romance...

it's been a while since you and your ex boyfriend hadn't talked - you never really did break up per se, but the distance between the two of you had been growing larger and colder, to the point where you easily could have considered yourself single

the hectic life the two of you were living: you, with your impossible degree, him, with his impossible training routine, prevented either of you from thinking things trough too much

the busy life was essentially leaving no space for any doubts, nostalgia or sadness to sink in - everything was simply taken at face value, accepted, never once dwelled upon

nevertheless, although Rin felt like a distant memory, he somehow seemed a permanent figure in your life; at the back of your head, you were convinced that, if you were to get in touch and hang out, nothing will have changed

We could always pick things up again when things get better - it doesn't seem like he's seeing anyone anyway, and it's been ages already... I'm sure that he doesn't want to look for someone else

things never did get better, yet you could not resist the urge to pick up the phone once the date 02/02 appeared on your calendar

I had completely forgotten that it's his birthday... I should definitely text him, it'd be rude if I didn't, right...? Or rather... would it be weird if I did?

hesitating, you opened the chat window and pasted the message you had been carefully crafting for the past 45 minutes: you had decided on "Happy birthday~ Hope u didn't work too hard today!"

That should do it, I don't want to seem too cold but also not too serious... Or is this going to look too desperate?

after a good 10 minutes of pasting and deleting, you eventually made up your mind, and pressed enter

Ugh, fuck this, I'm just being polite, what the hell am I being all nervous about anyway?

you tried to play it cool, yet you still turned off notifications from his chat - you were, for one reason or another, dreading his response

Y/n, get a goddamn grip... you scolded yourself, upon checking if he had seen your message for the 600th time

eventually, you grew tired of being anxious over such a "trivial" matter, and decided to occupy your time with work, then go straight to sleep, notifications off

He's probably celebrating, he's obviously not gonna be checking his messages when he's with his family, he barely sees them anyway...

after not so good a night's sleep, you wake up much too early - so much so that the sun was still not yet up

you sighed at the realisation that you instantly felt a knot in your stomach, and decided to get up right away to make some coffee and breakfast - clearly, the hunger was the one to blame for the racing pulse as well...

anyhow, you set off to make some breakfast (which you almost burn to ashes because you were constantly spacing out) and then decide to finally check your phone

Matsuoka Rin 1:20 "Thanks, this time I ac..."

Fuck, he replied already - damn you y/n for turning off notifications, now you actually have to open the chat to be able to see the whole message!! you facepalmed yourself, regretting your lack of foresight

Ah, whatever, you know what, not a big deal, I'll just open it and-

*buzz*

just as you plucked up the courage to tap on the chat, a new message immediately pops up

R: "How have you been lately? It's been a while"

typing...

R: "Ah, shit, that was kind of awkward, sorry for double texting 6h later lol"

AAAAH fuck my life, now I have to reply on the spot or it's gonna look weird; what kind of damn timing is this?!

Y: "Hahaha, no, no, not at all"

Y: "Yeah, it's really been a while"

Y: "Tbh not any different, uni is kinda killing me as per usual"

Y: "You?"

I couldn't have made this more stiff if I tried... tsk

typing...

R: "Been alright, trainings and all that"

R: "Thinking of whether I wanna go to grad or not for now"

What the hell do I respond to this? Do I just go like oh, I see.. Do I seem involved and keep the conversation going? I never should have texted him, this is pissi-

*buzz*

R: "Look, actually, I'd been meaning to text you today too"

R: "So I'll cut the crap"

Huh?

R: "Recently you keep popping up"

R: "But yesterday you even made an appearance in my dream"

R: "Which is weird, I never really dream people I know"

R: "But yeah, I guess what I'm tryna say is"

R: "I felt like talking to you"

What is he even saying... What the hell does this mean!!! What am I supposed to understand from this can you just be clearer for fuck's sake asdadjfhjkdsfhjk

you were pacing around the room, frustrated. You didn't even pay any mind to the fact that you were supposed to respond on the spot

Wait

you stop abruptly

What do I want to understand from this?

you stand there for a while, thousands of thoughts enveloping your mind and rushing in front of your eyes

at one point, your expression changed from one of frustration to one of serious determination

you quietly pick up the phone and start typing

Y: "Are you free to talk"

Y: "I mean, like, talk talk"

Y: "I think I realised sth, and I'd wanna talk about it properly"

you swallow loudly as you send that last message

Fuck it, I just have to go for it, otherwise it's gonna sit at the back of my head for ages and it's only gonna piss me off

R: "sure, when are u free"

R: "If u want, we could do later today, training is off this afternoon"

Y: "Works"

Y: "Do you mind if we do either of our places"

Y: "I don't wanna have this conv in public"

R: "yeah, no problem, I can come over to yours so you don't have to walk back when it's dark?"

Y: "Thanks, I'll see you at like 5 then?"

R: "yeah, see you then"

you dropped your phone on the bed, as if it were carrying the entire weight that was on your shoulders

you fell face down on the pillow, taking a while to process the developments

What the HELL is this

He's coming the fuck O V E R

What the hell was I thinking, what am I even gonna tell him? Hey, nice seeing you, actually, you know, I realised I'm still in love with you??

AS IF

Hey, Google, how do i fake a broken leg in less than-

Ah, fuck this nevermind nevermind

Whatever! I'll just do this and whatever happens happens

I'm going to get it over and done with - we talk, I get things off my chest, he tells me we should break it off for good so we can both move on, and I get him off my mind for good!

And I won't have to remember how I would wake up next to him, or how cute he was whenever I tickled him, or how he'd get serious and look me in the eye and tell me I'm the only one he's ever truly been in love with, and-

Wait - fuck

What... what is this

Nononono, y/n, this is not the time

Wipe your damn tears off your face or you are done for- you know that if you cry you never stop

every time you'd dry your tears and calm yourself down, your peace would be short lived, as new memories entered your mind

before you knew it, it was dangerously close to the time of the "reunion", and you still hadn't managed to stabilise your emotions fully

suddenly, the seriousness of the situation hits you: you become aware of what sort of conversation you are actually supposed to have, and its implications

Whether or not Rin stays in my life...weighs on this afternoon

before you had the time to internalise this newly acquired realisation, the intercom rang

Fuck, get it together y/n, you need to keep this nice and professional, there's no need for emotional outbursts

Just take a deep brea-

*di-ing*

your breath got stuck in your throat, had you really managed to pull it all together?

but there was really no time left for you to ponder this, or anything at all for that matter

you decided to give in to the adrenaline that had taken over you

Ok, this has to be done

you straighten up your face and open the door

"Hey, sorry, just realised the kitchen was in a bit of a mess haha... Come in!" you plastered on the most convincing fake smile you could muster up

"Hey, don't worry about it," he greeted you with a polite expression of his own. "Thanks"

"I have some tea if you want? Also.. um... orange juice? A coffee? Just let me know"

you didn't really know how the conversation would begin - would either of them have to initiate it right away? Did they have to make awkward small talk for a while and hope that a right time for a transition would come?

"Thanks, but I'm alright for now"

"Ah, sure, let me know if you change your mind," was the best response you could conjure up then

not really knowing what to do with yourself, you sat down on the chair opposite to him, and moved some of the books that were on the coffee table a bit more to the side

neither one of you said a word during this time

Maybe I should just ask him what's up or something? What do I even start off with?

"Hey, y/n?"

you looked up at him, surprised. The chain of thought that you had had was broken, a knot forming in your chest

"You finally looked at me," he smiled. But, for some reason, it seemed rather bitter. No- not bitter, but perhaps, self deprecating.

you swallowed again, nerves building up with every passing moment

"I understand it if you're mad at me for dropping this on you out of the blue but I-"

"I'm not mad!" you interrupted him, your voice strained

Rin's eyes widened slightly at your reaction, and your cheeks grew hot at the realisation

"I'm not-I'm not mad at all, ok? Why would I be? I was the one who reached out anyway" you cleared your throat and straightened your back

"I'm just kind of quiet because I don't really know what to say... I mean, it's been a while and this was so out of the blue and everything"

"You really haven't changed," he chuckled sweetly. "But, I'm the same, I guess" he sighed. "It doesn't even feel like it's been that long though, don't you think? It does and it does not at the same time" he pouted. Why on earth would he pout at a time like this? How were his reactions so natural? You were surprised at the familiarity of the whole scene. You had expected to either see a stranger, or have your heart completely wrecked by the overwhelming amalgamation of memories and feelings flooding you. Instead, all you see is the same focused eyes, charming smile and relaxed manner of a person you had fallen in love with and cherished with your entire being.

"How did this happen?" you found yourself blurting out, as the feelings you had been holding back subtly began making their way back into your heart.

"I mean- how did... How did we even get so... far from the other?" you chuckled nervously and added: "It's not like anything happened, right? I swear, only we could have ended up being such dumbasses, hahaha," you tried to play off the nerves that were beginning to get the best out of you.

God I sound so stupid, but if I don't joke around I'm fucked, I can't make a scene here

"Yeah... it really was dumb, wasn't it?" again, that self-deprecating smile. You felt your heart being squeezed painfully tight - if only I could hug him better... You caught yourself thinking despite yourself

*sigh*

your attention was yet again shifted to the man in front of you

"That's better; you know, I really don't like it when you aren't looking at me, I really can't tell what you're thinking," he pouted again, jokingly. Your heart did a double take, and you curled your hands into fists - why the hell is he being so adorable?

"Look, um... So, actually... I was really thinking about this and... I - I think I never fully realised how important this whole ... thing we had ... was for me," he confessed, rather awkwardly. "I guess it only hit me when I found my thoughts trailing back to you constantly... but every time, I just somehow took for granted that even if we're not talking now that things aren't really over, you know? It's stupid, I'm awa-"

"...too," you mumbled, shyly.

to this, Rin gave you a confused look

"Huh?"

"I said, I said that I felt like that too - the taking for granted part, it was the same for me... I thought I wasn't bothered that you weren't in my life anymore, but that wasn't the case at all... I wasn't really bothered because I never really actually thought I'd lost you"

The knot in your throat was making it more difficult for you to breathe, and only made you acutely aware of how hard you were attempting to contain your feelings

"But now..." your voice cracked. "I'm so relieved to see you, to talk to you and to feel so at ease in your presence... I don't..." you felt your resolve wavering. Maybe you did want to let your tears fall and open your heart entirely to him. The fear that had accumulated in the pit of your stomach was pushing you to do everything it took - you knew you couldn't be able to take it if he left again.

"I don't... want to lose you again..." you hardly enunciated, your voice strained, your eyes stuck to the floor.

Rin had been watching you in awe the entire time. He was unsure whether he should be confused, surprised, happy or annoyed, but his gaze on you held a certain tenderness, untouched by the plethora of emotions going through his head.

"Y/n, look at me," his serious tone almost made your heart stop. Feeling tears, your eyes darted in every other direction, trying to avert them from falling.

"If you'd looked at me, you'd have noticed that you and I are both in the same boat" he chuckled. "You're not the only one worked up over this. Seeing you today... and especially hearing what you had to say..." he stopped, trying to find his next words. "Sigh... God, I must have been insane to cast you aside like that- who does such a thing to someone who makes their heart do the things mine is doing right now?" His gaze took on an intense air.

"Y/n, let's start again."