#I cannot explain why this is my favourite romance

[perplexingly]

They’re red flags to you, fortunately I’m colorblind

[satyricplotter]

pairing: dick grayson x reader

word count: 3.2k (i think?)

warnings: rape mention (as per dick's canon)

notes: i keep thinking of applying one of my favourite manga/manhwa tropes with dick specifically, because it works so well, but i don't particularly care to put in the work of setting up that it'd take for it to land as well as it could. maybe later. as it is, i'll give you the quick rundown because i spent two days writing it lol

something ugly about you has made you undeserving of romance. you have spent your entire life puzzling out what it is and how to fix it. nothing much is special about you: the matter’s far from isolation, or becoming any particular sort of pariah. perhaps that'd be easier to explain. no. people leave you alone, your friends cherish you, your family loves you. it is not that you have not known affection, but that you have and so when you crash against the wall that horrible first time, it hurts all the more.

nothing changes after that. there is always a limit to where your interest can reach, unnamed but palpable. a line you cannot cross. it seems to you as if the entire world has reached a silent consensus during a meeting to which your attendance was not required and your input unnecessary. why would it be? this is not about you. after all, your ability to love has not become impaired. you like people. you’ve fallen in love. but who has ever loved you back?

this one facet of life has been closed off to you entirely, and you’ve been chased away from all attempts to form a romantic bond with unspoken threats of shame and implications of disgust. (a bit much of a display just for the offense of being little old you. you come to regard the matter so as you grow older and start curating some self-respect. it still stings as badly as scrubbing your skin raw under hot water, but not all the loathing is directed inward nowadays.)

regardless, you’ve learnt that you are undesirable, and nothing you can say or do will change that. you must be content with the other shapes that love can take. nothing that you want matters whatsoever.

you meet dick grayson one summer evening under exceedingly normal circumstances. you do not know about heroes or rogues, no batmans or nightwings. the person that crosses the threshold is none other than dick grayson, the handsome young man. suspicion does not cross anybody’s mind, and if it does, it comes only a good couple of thoughts after his darling smile and shapely thighs.

obviously you like him immediately. what’s not to like? he’s gorgeous.

you react to him with the tense wariness of someone hardened by years of useless crushes. trying to avoid him. trying to be normal when you invariably cannot. it’s fine. it’ll be fine.

you still crush on him.

it’s inevitable, at this point. he’s too pretty, too smart, too kind not to draw you in. every interaction comes a rush of exhilarating fear. at times, you manage to subdue yourself into normalcy, hang out with him with as much naturalness as you can muster. but then he does something particularly attractive and you’re back in square one, shoulders drawn together and so short with him he probably gets emotional whiplash. it’s as exhausting for you as it must be for him, and he still reacts to it with grace. it doesn’t help.

through your concerted efforts to be normal, or at least appear as much, you and dick become friends. not great friends, mind you, but good enough that you start hanging out on your own without any of your mutual friends present. and you only spend about three hours total pondering the meaning behind the phrasing of his texts. that’s gotta be some form of progress, right?

he sits at a little table away from the window, and beams when you arrive. coffee’s on him and conversation’s on you. you’ve got more in common than you first thought, but you go back and forth between imagining it must be fate and squashing down delusion, telling yourself you’re blowing it out of proportion.

at one point in time, a beautiful, sultry-looking woman approaches the table.

you and dick tense immediately, like you both know what’s coming. sure as ever, the woman smiles and asks for his number. you look away politely, sip at your drink. the proximity makes it useless to pretend you’re not eavesdropping (though it can hardly be called that when she came to your table), but you take care not to make any faces that’d give away the little storm brewing in your stomach.

this sucks, you think, glancing away from dick’s bland mask of politeness. all of it is hopeless and it still sucks.

you think about running off to the bathroom, get as far as shifting on your seat when dick shoots you a troubled look. the woman’s been at it for a little more than is appropriate. a minute or so more of insistence and she’ll be stretching the boundaries of her own dignity too far. you look away with pressed lips and move your hands under the table.

your alarm beeps.

“oh, shit, dude,” you gasp, hoping to land somewhere in the ballpark of realism. “It’s almost seven. we’ve got to go, or else we’re gonna miss the movie.”

dick gives the woman his apologies and swiftly runs out of the café with you hot on his heels. on the way to the movie theatre, you wanna ask the million questions running through your head—why’d he reject her? didn’t he like her? did he not think she was pretty? who is pretty for him? what’s his taste in partners? is he seeing someone?—but you know it’s a futile endeavor. what will you even get out of that? it’s clear dick didn’t enjoy the interaction either. you make small talk about something else, trying to draw his attention away from whatever conflicted feelings he’s moored in right now. just because you like him doesn’t mean you can’t be a good friend to him.

it’s a short walk. soon enough, he’s all smiles again. in the line for the popcorn stand, another two girls come up to him, this time much younger than you two. he’s nicer with them than he was before, but he rejects them all unequivocally.

“doesn’t it annoy you?” you can’t help but ask. when dick raises an elegant eyebrow, you panic and backpedal so hard you might as well have driven a truck through a storefront.

“a bit,” dick says, ignoring your rambling. you shut your mouth firmly closed when he gives you a sidelong glance, and continues, so very casually, “it’s worse when it comes from a friend rather than a stranger. so many people just try to befriend me because they’re looking for a relationship, or they want access to my body. it’s… tiring. i’m sure you can relate.”

“ah,” you say. your tongue feels numb, but you’re burning up under the weight of his gaze. “no. I don’t really get harassed like that or, um, asked out.”

“huh.” dick blinks. “really?”

“yeah,” you force out. blessedly, the attendant calls your attention. you jostle dick forward. “look, it’s our turn.”

dick orders popcorn. you get a large slushy that you’re not gonna finish. you make him pay. he complies with no question. inside the theatre, you spend all two hours and sixteen minutes of the showing in absolute silence. it is not so strange to be fixated on the movie, but you’re usually a little more chatty. under normal circumstances, you’d eagerly take the opportunity to lean closer to him, whisper something about the main character’s penchant for gummies and its relation to the degradation of the American working class. he’d glance at you and thoughtfully smile, and you’d catch a whiff of his cologne when you straightened.  for the rest of the movie, the twinkle of his eye as he forwent the film for your conversation would be all you’d think about.

such is not the case now.

you can tell when you’ve been summarily dismissed. in fact, you appreciate when people are subtle about their rejections. it’s always all the more humiliating when they feel the need to bring it out into the open, like your affections have been so blatant they must be commented on, debated.

the rest of the evening is spent convincing yourself that this is good, that this means it’ll be better for yourself going forward. you’ll be less distracted, if anything. dick’s attempts to discuss the movie with you afterwards fall flat, as the only thing you really want is to get home and stare at your ceiling.

when you’ve reached your apartment door, and are turning to enter after a hurried goodbye, dick calls your name.

“look,” he says, running a hand through his hair unsurely. “I don’t usually do this.”

oh, no. dread fills you up. he’s breaking up with you and you’re not even dating.

you swallow. “dick—”

“I like you a lot,” he interrupts. your teeth clang the way you shut up so fast. in fact, you feel a little dizzy. he continues before you can even process that first sentence. “I think you and I could be really good friends, and I’d love if we could continue seeing each other to, you know, hang out and talk. I do truly appreciate your insight. is that okay?”

you blink fast some three or four times. it must be comical, the face you’re making, because the corner of dick’s lips pulls upward despite him trying to keep a serious air.

“I thought we were already friends…?” you say, at a loss for anything else to say.

“yes!” he beams. “we are.”

“okay,” you respond, perplexed. this is so far out of left field. “um. text me when you’re home?”

“yeah.” he grins. gorgeous grin, to be sure, but why? “for sure.”

“cool.” you give him an awkward thumbs up and scurry inside.               

it is… baffling. you spend all of that night wide awake and pondering. dick must’ve misconstrued something, or either you missed a crucial step in your relationship. otherwise the end to that evening makes absolutely no sense. the only thing you can conjure up is that dick must reject a lot of people who, like he said, try to befriend him only to get with him or worse, only to fuck, and it’s not very likely most of those people stay in his life once it is clear he won’t budge on the matter. the fact that you didn’t immediately turn your back on him must’ve come to him as a pleasant surprise.

it’s sad. like, really fucking sad, actually.

that very sadness—and the memory of his handsome, bright grin—turns your outlook inside out. why do you like dick? clearly he’s got the looks and the personality, but do you really know him? what do you know of him? you make a list of things you’ve learned about him in the short time of knowing him. it’s not long.

you come to the conclusion, mortifyingly so, that you don’t, in fact, like dick grayson. that, if anything, the only thing you like is the idea of the boyfriend he could be, which is not the boyfriend that he is (you know nothing about that). it’s the social acumen inherent in bagging such a hottie, and the sparkling sexual attraction bound around it, that really prompt your crushing. it’s not dick as a person. frankly, you think, a little hysterically, could be anyone, really. didn’t even have to be dick. he was just there, the handsomest person in the room. an apt target for the voracious hunger of your heart. you’d mooned and mooned over him for ages and it turns out it wasn’t even about him.

god, you’re such an asshole.

in penance, you endeavor to actually get to know dick without the embarrassment of a crush between you. and it does, in fact, help. dick’s eager to get to know you too, now that you’ve both formally acknowledged you’re friends (such a weird practice, fresh out of kindergarten behavior, but, as you soon find out, dick is weird about plenty and not entirely well-adjusted as an adult). you go on outings together, attend one another’s events, text sporadically throughout the day. you learn which video games dick likes, you tell him which movies are your favorites. it’s fun and light and uncomplicated now that you’ve freed yourself from the constraints of romantic expectation.

not everything’s good. dick’s got bad habits, which grate on you. is it so difficult to put the stupid toilet seat down? can he not learn to chop vegetables in chunks smaller than an elephant’s baby teeth? can he, for the love of god, stop yelling at the tv during horror films?  he’s got some serious character flaws, too. you find about those a lot more slowly, but they don’t cause too much trouble.

you fight one or two times due to dick suddenly abandoning you in the middle of an outing with no regard for your safety, and his tendency to get pissy instead of saying whatever’s upsetting him upfront when he knows, you’ve warned him that you’re stupidly thoughtless about your actions at times. all those are things you wouldn’t have come to experience if you hadn’t given the man a chance to actually be a friend. it’s kind of heartening, actually, to have come so far.

sometimes your crush rears up its head in the middle of nowhere. it’s kind of hopeless by now, but you can’t help the fact that dick’s attractive. neither can he, anyway. you just watch him sometimes, the way the sun hits his eyes, lashes sweeping over his cheeks. it makes you go tongue-tied and silly, but the moment always passes. it has to pass. you struggle against it, recall every time dick has upset you or insulted you in one way or the other. some days it’s easy as buttering toast, others you can barely think around the searing heat of your desire. those are bad days for all involved.

one evening, when you’ve grown close enough you’ve begun to think about dick grayson as maybe, possibly, only-if-he-says-so-too your closest friend, he tells you about catalina.

he does it over the phone line, during your almost-nightly calls. over the months, you’ve taken up the practice of teasing him about handsome people he clearly finds attractive in a desperate bid to divert attention and train yourself for when you have to do it for real. this is not one of such cases, and as soon as you realize this, you sober up immediately.

he says it so simply. talks about it like it’s just a hazard of life. there’s a tight hardness at the edge of his voice, but other than that, he speaks like it’s normal Tuesday for him.

not so much for you.

“is it okay if I come over?” you request over the line.

for a moment, the only thing you hear is dick breathe. “yeah,” he croaks, and you’re bolting out the room immediately.

you don’t know how to react to this other than with a shaky sort of desperation. it’s been years since it happened. there’s nothing you can do about it now. there’s something big he’s leaving out, which you notice but don’t point out. a big lump forms on your throat as he speaks. dick tells you when you arrive that the woman is behind bars for an unrelated crime and the only way you stop yourself from wishing ill on her out loud is the fact he looks so politely disjointed, you know your fury will only startle him.

and you feel it so frightfully, the fury.

you love dick, you realize. beyond the fancies and the underlying attraction, you love dick as a person, as a friend. he’s one of yours now.

the evening morphs into a casual sleepover. you don’t interrogate him, and he seems torn between wanting to say more and grateful you’re not prying. you keep yourself open to the possibility, but also try to comfort him as best you can. you make dinner. you put on a movie. you talk and joke and quietly watch. he invites you on the bed with him because his couch is a nightmare to sleep in and his guest room is “unavailable”, whatever that means. you don’t even think about it, just follow.

lying together under the sheets with the lights off, the rest of your feelings bubble up to the surface.

you ask before you clasp his hands between yours and look into his shiny eyes in the darkness. you try to tell him, how this single evening and all those that came before turned over your loyalty to him. how he can come to you for anything he ever wants or needs—your ear, your care, your protection. how much you appreciate his trust and how much you wish you could make anything, everything better for him. how much he deserves it.

“I’ll never leave you now,” you vow with fierce conviction, searching his eyes for any signs of doubt. any other time you would’ve questioned this statement with the sheer weight of infinite possibilities, but not now. tonight, truth is absolute and in your hand. “they will never take me from you. I will always be on your side, by your side. i’m serious, grayson. you’re not getting rid of me.”

a glimpse of  a watery smile is the only thing you see before dick throws his arms around you and buries his face in your neck. “couldn’t dream of it,” he whispers into your hair.

you hug him back as tightly as he is, murmuring platitudes and running your fingers through his hair. he falls asleep like that, in the cradle of your arms. he feels secure enough to do so, and you feel both proud and nauseous about it considering the secret you keep.

that he’s told you this at all, that he’s trusted you with such a thing—you know how big it is. you know you can never betray him.

you consider your inherent monstrosity, that little unspeakable thing that bars your from that special kind of love. you understand, firmly, that any desire you feel will never be received eagerly and joyfully. not by him or anyone else.  in silent fury, you vow to die before you be like her, to bestow upon this man your grotesque wanting with no regard for his own desire, for the integrity of his being.

that night, you press a kiss to dick grayson’s hair and let him go forever.

.

the next morning, dick watches as you leave. you turn back one last time to wave at him from the parking lot, a bright smile and tussled hair you didn’t bother to brush. you wear out the clothes he lent you to sleep, so harried last night in your haste to come over that you’d simply forgotten to pack pajamas. he suspects you hadn’t planned to stay the night at all, but he’d been damned if he’d let you go yesterday.

you’re pretty. he’s always thought so, but this morning, you’re prettier than ever. it’s the radiance of your heart shining through.

I will always be by your side, you’d said last night. you’d meant it completely, then. dick had been dazed, overcome. he couldn’t take the brightness of your eyes, the surety of your affection. he’d buried his head in your neck and fallen asleep breathing in the smell of your shampoo. in the morning, he’d woken up with your fingers carding through his hair and the gentle warmth of your body against his.

that was nice. he wonders what he has to do to make it happen again.

[ilsaafaust]

Thoughts on Ilsa Faust in DR. Spoilers.

Thinking about Ilsa Faust's fate in Dead Reckoning and director Christopher McQuarrie's comments about it in the Empire Podcast. As a fan of the franchise and with Ilsa being my favourite character, I feel like I had to write a little something based on the movie and his reason for it. A lot of fans are upset (including me) and I want to write something properly, not just the angry tweets and posts. 

To start off, they wanted Ilsa to die already back when they were making TGM. And his reasoning seems to be that he didn't want Ilsa and Ethan to be romantic. Just that baffles me, if you don't want romance, how can you not just write a script where Ilsa and Ethan stay platonic? They handled it well in Rogue Nation and Fallout, you can see they care for each other deeply, but they don't act on it. We could have had Ilsa on the team, she could have gotten out of the game but was brought back in for some reason, she could have had literally any other story. But the fact that the only thing that seemed to come to mind if he didn't want to make them romantic was to kill her off seems very odd. 

He also talked about wanting to work with Hayley Atwell for over ten years and this fact seems a little too convenient when thinking about why he had to kill Ilsa off. But we'll come back to Grace later. 

He explains that they killed Ilsa off before they even knew the reason why. They killed off one of the most popular characters of this franchise without even having made up the reason behind it. We know that they work without a script, but making such a huge and impactful decision (he says he knew the fans would be upset) without even knowing why baffles me. 

I also need to point out, I would have been fine if she had been given a decent, meaningful death. Yes, I would have been sad, but had it felt worthy it would have been one thing. With how they handled her death in this, I can't be sad. I am just mad. Frustrated. Confused. 

Let's talk about Ilsa's storyline in this film. At the end of Fallout, she got out. In this film, she is disavowed for some unknown reason, and she is brought back into the game with the whole thing about the key. Kittridge says some weird comments about Ethan and Ilsa's relationship, that Ethan has saved Ilsa over and over when it is clearly the other way around. Let's go with this just being Kittridge getting it all wrong and not McQ but.. what do I know.

Ethan finds her in the desert and the whole scene is very rushed, they barely even talk, and.. she just hands him the key? What was Ilsa's plan? Ilsa's purpose? We don't know and we never find out (at least not in part one). Maybe there was more to it, more to Ilsa's story, we know they cut a lot of the movie, and we know for sure they cut at least two of Ilsa's scenes. 

Then she just shows up in the van in Rome before they end up in Venice. 

In Venice, we have Ilsa and Ethan hugging on a rooftop and holding hands on the gondola on their way to the party. For someone who claims that they didn't want Ilsa and Ethan to be romantic, I have a lot of questions. Especially since we also had the desert hug where she is literally on top of him. She is clearly a romantic interest, there's no questioning that. And to be honest, that is basically her only purpose in this movie. 

Now things get a little messy because we arrive at the party. I have always been a fan of McQ's writing of female characters. He did absolutely fantastic in Rogue Nation, Fallout and Edge of Tomorrow. At the party, the villain gives Ethan the choice between Ilsa or Grace. One of them has to die. 

Now, we know Ethan cares about Ilsa a lot, so the choice should be simple, her compared to this woman he just met who kept running away from him over and over and left him to die on a train track handcuffed to a car. The thing is, Ethan Hunt can't make that choice. He cares about each and every individual. 

We've now arrived at the reason why Ilsa dies. And I cannot begin to express my distaste for the cliché writing of having a male character choose between two women, one who is a love interest and the other who is so obviously made out to be the new female lead (and potentially, a new love interest, Ethan/Grace share some suspiciously weird longing looks but the fans are divided if it is romantic or not). 

Ilsa or Grace. Apparently, there can only be one woman on the team, which the previous films have shown us, too. 

I just need to add that they're working against an all-knowing AI, so why isn't "the choice" between Luther or Benji? Ethan's two very best friends, two brilliant tech minds who must be a bigger threat to the entity as well?

In the end, it all comes back to that it's not people that Ethan loses - it's women. And there is only space for one brunette woman on that team. 

So let's talk about the bridge scene. First of all, Grace has been running the entire movie, why would she suddenly stop running when there is a man literally trying to kill her? 

Anyways, she holds him off surprisingly long considering she's just a thief and with how in the previous action sequences she kind of came off as a damsel in distress. Eventually, Gabriel knocks her down the stairs. 

Enter Ilsa Faust. Highly capable spy, Ethan Hunt's equal, a woman who we know is lethal in hand-to-hand combat. We saw her take down Janik Vinter in a knife fight at the end of Rogue Nation and we saw her take down Solomon Lane in Fallout (tied to a bloody chair). 

She even has the advantage of a sword compared to the villain who has a tiny knife. They fight. For some reason, Ilsa manages to get in way too close several times (watch the choreography for the RN knife fight - she's quick, get in, slash, get out, you can't linger in a knife fight) and she somehow doesn't seem to be able to hold off the old villain longer than Grace. 

She gets stabbed in the chest. Ethan finds her dead on the bridge. In the next scene, Ethan looks sad on a rooftop for a few moments. Benji wipes a tear. They never talk about Ilsa again. It's underwhelming in every sense. 

But what makes it worse, is the fact that in the next scene, the team asks Grace to join the team. Not going to get into the writing of that whole scene, but the thing is, they do it in a way that is basically "look what happened to Ilsa." and the things they say honestly make the team seem very cold-hearted considering Ilsa just died. And we know the team is not cold-hearted. Yes, there's a mission and they need to focus on the job, but they really didn't have to do it like that.

When I tell you I have a bad taste in my mouth, boy, do I mean it. Ilsa dies and in literally the next scene she is replaced by Grace. 

Now comes the talk about her death which McQ describes as "very heroic". I'll admit, in one way, I get why he thinks it is a heroic death. Ilsa sacrificed herself to save someone else, that would be a worthy ending for someone who dedicated their whole life to saving the world, saving people. 

What baffles me is how he doesn't see how poorly executed the whole ordeal was, which is what fans and a lot of critics are upset about (see list of articles criticizing it here:  https://www.tumblr.com/rebeccalouisaferguson/723559978545414144/list-of-articles-criticizing-ilsa-fausts?source=share ) 

Is it fridging? In one way it is; Ilsa is Ethan's love interest and we know "the choice" between Ilsa and Grace happens because Ethan cares about her. McQ also mentioned it happening to up the stakes, so..

Yes, she also died because she decided to save Grace, but there's more than one reason for her death.

I feel like what also needs to be mentioned is that article with editor Eddie Hamilton who said they cut a "badass" line from Ilsa when she arrived at the bridge. They cut it because it lowered the audience's expectations for what they were about to see. "In the audience's mind, you know that Ilsa is going to kick some serious ass. She kicks a bit of ass, but not a lot. It's not a complete, devastating, ass-kicking, which you hope Ilsa is going to give at some point." They later removed this bit from the article because of backlash. We, the audience, know that Ilsa is better than and so do they. 

We know they're doing damage control, a lot was cut from the delayed Empire part two podcast. Somehow, the more they talk about it, it gets worse.

I know this movie is only part one and there might be more explanations for all of this in part two. But with what we've seen in this film, they fumbled her death so badly that the one thing that would make sense is that it is all a trick and she comes back in part two. There are many theories on that, but I'm not going into details or speculating on that here. 

A testament to how badly they executed her death is that people literally can't believe they'd fail her character this badly. McQ who we all thought was a brilliant writer. McQ who wrote one of the best female characters we've seen in years only to throw her out as if she was garbage. No matter what happens in part two, one thing is for sure. 

Ilsa Faust deserved better.

[innsyn]

Writers and Dreamers needed.

Have you ever heard the term parallel collaboration?

It’s where teams, or individuals, working towards a larger goal, tackle tasks independently.

How could that work in creative writing?

Think of writers telling different stories set in the same world with overlapping characters.

Each writer has independent control of their own story, but needs to collaborate on consistency and continuity between stories.

Why are you telling me this?

Because I would love some of tumblrs many wonderful writers to join me in a parallel collaboration project of epic proportions!

I knew this was a trap! You never wanted to be my friend, you’re just trying to recruit me. Go on then, tell me more.

Okay - so it’s a totally non-profit, Creative Commons Share-A-Like endeavour. Anything anyone contributes can be taken, reworked, reimagined and recombined by everyone - as long as it’s all properly attributed, and distributed under the same licence.

It’s a sandbox which is open to everyone - the idea is to operate like fan fiction in reverse. Anyone can come and write a story using any of the characters that have been developed, and the best will be adopted into canon.

I would love to have stories of all types exist within one original story world - action, romance, horror, smut, slice of life, coming of age, hero’s quest - I want them all and more!

Why should I contribute towards your project instead of working on my own?

I would never ask anyone to bench their WIPs. I promise, I understand how personal that connection is. If you are feeling good and working well on your WIP then I am super proud of you and will cheer you on. But working on your own WIP can be hard precisely because it’s so personal, because it’s your baby.

I don’t subscribe to the archetype of the solo writer, tapping away in isolation. It helps to have people to bounce ideas off, it helps to know that other people are working towards the same goal as you, and it helps to know that you’re not shouldering all the responsibility.

I want this to be your favourite side project. Somewhere you can go and share a big dumb idea and write without pressure, whenever your WIP is kicking your ass.

But what’s it actually about?

I’ve tried to design an overarching scenario with inherent conflict, but scope to be interpreted in many directions…

Here's the idea:

An alien with godlike technology finds an Earthlike planet and its human people.

It designs a game to select a human to be given access to its technology and decide the fate of the planet.

The alien enlists its friends to select 5 human ‘team captains’, spread around the world. They each receive access to a different technology, giving them a unique superpower.

These captains then recruit a further twenty four ‘players’ each, taking it to 125 contestants, each with their own different power.

Once the teams are fully recruited - the humans still unaware where these powers are coming from, or what their purpose is - the alien talks to them. It explains they are part of a game, and what the prize is.

The game is a deathmatch. Any player who kills another player will gain their tech access/superpowers. They cannot kill their own teammates until only one team remains.

A global superpowered battle royale. 5 teams. 125 candidates. 124 of them must die.

And you want, what? Different writers to adopt the different players and tell their stories?

Exactly! I want someone to adopt the teleporter, and someone else to adopt the earthbender, or the emotion manipulator, or the one who can bring nightmares to life. I’ve outlined 125 possible characters, each with a different superpower, but I have no idea what’s going to happen or who is going to win.

Battle Royale. Hunger Games. Squid Games. Haven’t we had enough deathmatch games?

Quick answer: no!

The important differences for this idea are twofold. Normally deathmatch stories happen inside a fixed ‘arena’ - but our stories are loose in the world.

This means most of our players have to travel around the world, trying to hunt or escape from each other - giving them much more opportunity to engage in other adventures aside from trying to kill each other - or to hide from the game and try and live a normal life.

Secondly, by making the project open ended and collaborative we make the writers part of the game. Don’t want your character to get killed off? Write stories better than the ones where they get killed. The deathmatch is part of the project process just as much as it’s part of the plot.

You’re insane. This will never work.

The only way it will definitely never happen is if we never try.

Damn. You got me. Sign me up.

Alright… let’s figure out which character you want to start with…

I've still got a loads of questions though.

Come at me, let's do this!

So what are you calling this big dumb project?

Powerclash

Nice.

So... who can I tag in who might get a kick out of this?

@advashaviv @prokopetz @huttslut @whats-on-your-mind-then @fearofthefourthdimension @caxycreations @time-to-write-and-suffer @wip-nook @blind-the-winds @autism-georg @ryns-ramblings @writeblrfantasy @writeblrsupport @harleywriteshit @unmellowyellowfellow @leebrontide @melonsap @jgmartin @tananaphone @pluttskutt @careful-fear @scribbling-stardust @irlactualwizard @cryptid-s-wips @squarebracket-trick @at-thezenith @slowboz @writinglittlebeasts @lividdreamz @all-write @sergeantnarwhalwrites @tabswrites @authoralexharvey @quantumlandbooks @stanrendipity @manuscriptsatmidnight @memento-morri-writes @magic-is-something-we-create @lukascritical @liv-is @garthcelyn @fearofahumanplanet @antique-symbolism@poetinprose @thedeerwight @inflarescent @viva-la-topknot @theblackbookofarkera @nikoschrissis @sfhoe @soiledcat

[semper-legens]

76. Crumbs, by Danie Stirling

Owned: No, library Page count: 383 My summary: Ray has a favourite order at her local bakery - tea with a side of Romance. When she catches the eye of Laurie, the musician-turned-barista behind the bar, there’s a spark between them instantly. But it’s never that simple when magic is on the cards. Ray is a seer, aiming for a job on the Council; the Council who must erase themselves from the memories of anyone they used to know. And Laurie wants to get serious with his music. Will they be able to make it work, or is love not possible for someone with ambitions? My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

I read this one before - for some reason, I was thinking of it recently, and lo and behold, there it was sitting on the shelves for me to reread. It's a charming little story, one that was a Webtoon before being collected into a graphic novel format. A tale of love and loss and tough choices; a coming-of-age narrative in more ways than one. It's also the right kind of length to read in one sitting, which is handy for me - I really like that in a graphic novel. I was utterly charmed by it again, and I'd recommend checking it out.

In my earlier post, I didn't really give much time to the art, so I'm going to talk about it now! It's very colourful, with a mystic kind of haze over it and a lot of rounded lines. I keep saying the word 'charming', but that's really what it was, it was charming in its presentation. I wasn't sure, however, if some of the art didn't suffer a bit from being upscaled into a print comic format? Some of the haziness that I had assumed was stylistic came across at times as blurriness, and I didn't really see why that was being used. It wasn't too distracting, it was just something I noticed. Other than that, though, it's gorgeous art, and in particular the artist really makes the baked goods and coffee Ray gets at the bakery look very appealing.

Ray and Laurie are very believable characters. Caught in the awkward young adult stage where you're just kind of coasting by and figuring out who you are and what you want from the rest of your life, they're trying their hardest to make it in their respective paths. Laurie wants to be a musician, while Ray wants to be on the Council. But both of those ambitions come with problems. Laurie, as I said in my earlier post, was very relatable to me - he wants to be all things to all people, but this is often at the expense of his own happiness, and he doesn't ask for help or rely on others easily. Ray, on the other hand, wants to follow the path that was set out for her by her gifts - she wants to do Great Things, but cannot quite accept that placing herself where her abilities will be most useful is not the most glamorous of work. These are both really credible experiences for people at that age and in that position in life, and seeing Ray mature enough to go on and do great things or Laurie be able to reach out and be more honest about how he feels and when he's struggling is immensely satisfying.

I also like the worldbuilding here - there's very little exposition or explanation, and when it happens it's mostly organic and comes up naturally over the course of the narrative. This is a strength of the graphic novel format, I feel, elements can be introduced purely visually and the reader can intuit what's going on. Like the phones, for example - phones in this setting seem to be inhabited by little familiar spirits that can compose messages and set reminders for you, which is never explained, but we see it happening a few times and get the gist. Or how Ray's order at the bakery is Romance; we're never quite told that it's enchanted, but we understand it from context. As an overly wordy bastard who tends to write prose exclusively, I am jealous.

Next…a little book from a being named Bill.

[stromuprisahat]

I just couldn’t stand the Girl Bossing that happened s2 Sab. It seemed over the top, very flimsical and well it didn’t seem that they had to overcome or do anything substantial to get the attitude. Like what was Alina pretending to be so superior the entire show? Genya I can understand but why tf was she terrified of the Darkling before the Incident. Why look so terrified when getting rescued from cages and torture. Please explain. Less you talk of Zoya the better.

My favourite character in SoC was Inej but why turn her into fanatic.

No idea why Nina hates the Darkling? She is ok with her bf being a former hunter bit Darkling is BAD.

Ps- Dont like Tamar and Tolya

Also Alina had some of the cringiest lines - You envy our love

Ofc the darkling had The Worst lines. In both seasons.

Unfortunatelly, the writers have about two braincells to rub together, and the result looks accordingly.

Alina fell victim to the idea that a good heroine is a tough heroine, and a tough heroine has no feelings outside the preferred romance. Maybe some righteous anger, but what else could she need?!

Genya probably got kicked in the head, before they hung her in that cage, that's why she was constantly afraid and semi-hysterical.

Zoya's visibly the writers' fav. They're "subtly" setting her up for her queenship. (About as subtle as a herd of mammoths crossing a thawing lake, but nvm.)

Inej has the misfortune of being religious. More primitive mind cannot distinguish between that and a fanatic.

Nina hates the Darkling, because she adores Zoya, who hates him, and he wouldn't approve her semi-fictional relationship with Matthias (Remember that while she's frolicking around, sing-songing about their eternal love, he believes she betrayed him and got him into prison.). We shouldn't forget the Evil Dark Wizard sent one of his best men to look for her, when she was kidnapped by her bf's Nazi cult. Fucking cockblocker!

I've encountred an opinion that Bataar twins are better in the show. I don't know. I think the writers were relying too heavily on viewers already knowing them, but hey- if they don't have time to properly develop their MC, what else should we expect?!

I've written it before and I'll keep repeating it. I don't like book!Alina, but that self-important psychopath in the second season made me miss her. I feel genuinely sorry for Jessie. She deserved some consistency to play, instead of a flat, cruel, unfeeling amplifierfucker.

Aleksander wasn't half bad in first season, but the shit they made him do and say around Miss Psycho in season 2... I guess he's another candidate for brain damage...

[fixinglitg]

BOAT PARTY: IT CAN BE GOOD? Part 1

So Season 3 boat party, the last thing we would see added onto the old all before the game changed apps and started the proper downfall of quality.

I've played through it once before with Aj as my partner, and got back with her in the end. And it felt so unsatisfactory. Were any of the issues resolved? No. Did we really talk about it? No. Did it feel really anticlimactic? Yes.

So I decided I wanted to play it again, after years of not touching it, to see if I could make it good. Which meant not only doing something a little different, but also changing my whole original idea when I remembered that the route I'm doing currently was possible.

So let's get into this! And for once, I'm not even bothering with a disclaimer. Oh and there's multiple parts since I'm probably gonna use more than ten pictures so lmao.

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

We start off the boat party with the usual questions and all, like who was your partner, did you split the money, are you living together, and what's your job.

And then you do a bit of customisation and pick a name.

Love this bitch.

Then, we get into the scene. It's raining in London, with a bit of a thunderstorm, and we're doing Lottie's personality quiz or something. I actually never read what it is, but I know I got meek mermaid. Whatever that means.

Then Lily enters with dinner, and things are going as good as they can momentarily (Lily was chosen because she's my least favourite LI so I wouldn't really feel much later on). And then, Lily and Gabriella start arguing.

I usually try to avoid conflict, so I go for the last option, but it ends up turning into the first anyways. It doesn't really solve anything anyways, because then the argument gets worse, until Lily leaves and doesn't make a sound for weeks.

Note: if you wanna see someone try and justify the reasons between the LIs conflict and why it's bigger than we think, go to this post by u/melaniekingswife

Then we get Nicky and Elle's text saying how they've got a surprise vacation (not so much a surprise anymore) planned out for them.

Gabe (since I cba to type out Gabriella every time) takes that as an opportunity to enjoy a break from the possible misery she's in, and packs her things. You then choose what swimsuit and fancy/everyday outfit you want before going to the yacht.

Now this part is really vague and all since it's the exact same for everyone's playthroughs, so I'm only really going into it when we get to the main attraction.

Finally, we're greeted by your best friend of the four options (I chose Elle) and you briefly say how things aren't going swimmingly well, but you're interrupted by Nicky saying how we need to get on the boat. Then you'll have three groups of people you can go see, I have no idea how relevant any of them are, so I won't go into that.

Soon enough, Gabe is approached by Nicky and Elle (Nicky shortly leaves again though) and they talk about the issues between Gabe and Lily.

And then we go to the cabin and come face to face with Lily.

During this whole segment, I try and choose the options that agree with her (mostly) since we're on holiday and I don't really have the time for some petty little arguments again. Lily mentions how she's going to find another cabin to sleep in, I say that that's cool, and then we get changed for the health and safety talk.

After that, we talk to Elle about everything properly, before we finally have everything off our chest, and ask how she is instead

Specifically wanted to add this in case no-one realised who I was talking about, currently I cannot for the life of me remember how to spell her name, and neither does my keyboard.

But then Nicky explains how we're going paddle boarding over the intercom, and we quickly switch to that scene.

And the more interesting stuff. See, though this side romance character you choose is the same for everyone (as in it's coded in the same way probably, I actually don't remember) it always feels different when you're with someone you actually like. And that's how the boat party could possibly actually be good. If we don't go back to original LI, and go to this new LI instead.

See most of the arguments at the beginning are pretty silly to turn into something massive. I think it's said that only Tai and Rafi's make sense. And I think that if you're going to have an argument like that? Over dishes? Or not being listened to? Or working out too much? Yeah, no. Any mature person would sit there and talk it out, not argue.

Back to paddle boarding though.

Lily partners up with Iona, slapping Gabe's thought of possibly partnering up out the window, so instead we have to choose another islander. Bill, Tai, and Ciaran aren't an option because they all have a partner (Bill and Miki, and Tai and Ciaran) but I was going with Aj anyways.

I totally wanted to say how much I just wanted her to steal me away instead, BUT I decided that I wanted to be respectful for an episode or two before properly starting the romance.

After a bit of a paddle board tutorial, we then finally get on the actual board itself, have some moments with Aj

Like I said, wanted to keep things respectful for this episode so I chose all the options that were mostly friendly.

Then there's a little moment when Aj says that this is romantic, and that we'd probably rather be with Lily right now.

And I think the best option here is to say "I don't want to compare" because you really shouldn't. Sure, you can take things that you learn from your previous relationships, but you shouldn't be comparing person A with person B. They're someone new, so take it that way.

And I think what Gabe says is correct. We're with Aj right now, we're enjoying ourselves, nothing else should really matter in that moment in time.

Though it's nice how considerate she is.

Then we race Nicky and Elle. I just wanted to add the second screenshot because I find it funny how Gabe looks like she's just came up with a master plan, but it's the most simple thing ever.

Anyways, juicy stuff continues in part 2! Once that's added, I'll link it at the bottom, along with parts following that. This was basically just the base storyline with a little interesting stuff at the end for the people who have never played this.

[grey-and-green]

Storms We Cannot Weather

A Good Omens found poem, Crowley POV

(citations version)

(see original here)

I used to sit all alone in the dark (Cavanaugh Park: Something Corporate)

You fall….and… (Complicated: Avril Lavigne)

There was no reason. No explanation (Saw You in a Dream: The Japanese House)

I prayed that God would be forgiving (I Dreamed A Dream: Les Miserables)

But… (this could be literally any song)

Do you remember that day when we met? (It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish: My Chemical Romance)

Right from the start (A Thousand Years: Christina Perri)

I can’t quite explain… (Calling You: Blue October)

But the grace of your eyes can see good in me (Kite: Copeland)

Suddenly...my life doesn’t seem such a waste (Come What May: Moulin Rouge)

Why aren’t you scared of me? Why do you care for me? (Bury a Friend: Billie Eilish)

So I will not ask you where you came from. I will not ask. Neither should you. (Like Real People Do: Hozier)

And then...I fell in love with you… (Calling You: Blue October)

You say that love is not that easy (Hypocrates: MARINA)

Following their rules. Following the path of least resistance. (For a Fool: The Shins)

Bound by suffocating secrets (Gabriel: Valentina)

“This is Heaven, what I truly want” (Gods & Monsters: Lana del Rey)

But they don’t understand who you are (Gold: MARINA)

“How can I love when I’m afraid to fall?” (A Thousand Years: Christina Perri)

I believe there’s a way you can love me (Love Song: Sara Bareilles)

Listen….we won’t tell anyone (Rifle’s Spiral: The Shins)

They won’t get to us (Straw Dog: Something Corporate)

You might think I’m incapable of loving a soul like yours (Shesgotstyle: Never Shout Never)

Still I say there’s a way for us (On My Own: Les Miserables)

My darling, my sweetheart (Rise to Me: The Decemberists)

You’ve been so lonely in the name of being holy (Buy the Stars: MARINA)

It’s not that the darkness can’t touch our lives (September: The Shins)

Yet there’s still this appeal (Love Will Tear Us Apart: Joy Division)

The hopes of one day… (Rainy Monday: Shiny Toy Guns)

I don’t quite know how to say how I feel (Chasing Cars: Snow Patrol)

All the times I could have…Oh I just want to…. (Island: Coheed & Cambria)

I have loved you for a thousand years (A Thousand Years: Christina Perri)

I will love you until my dying day (Come What May: Moulin Rouge)

You’re still my favourite (Black and Blue: Chris Garneau)

And I’m willing to break myself (Break Myself: Something Corporate)

Asking if you love me (Calling You: Blue October)

Darling, don’t be afraid (A Thousand Years: Christina Perri)

We’ve nothing to prove (Simple Song: The Shins)

We don’t need anything, or anyone (Chasing Cars: Snow Patrol)

Is it possible to say….baby, let’s run away (Madi Don’t Leave: PlayRadioPlay!)

We can escape….away from all of this (Straw Dog: Something Corporate)

It’s different this time (Better Son/Daughter: Rilo Kiley)

Just you and I (It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish: My Chemical Romance)

Just our hands clasped so tight (I Will Follow you into the Dark: Death Cab for Cutie)

Just kiss like real people do (Like Real People Do: Hozier)

‘Til all that remains is the arms of an angel (Calamity Song: The Decemberists)

But love comes slow….and it goes so fast. (Let Her Go: Passenger)

Is my timing that flawed? (Love Will Tear Us Apart Again: Joy Division)

Who are you to tell me who to be? (Hypocrates: MARINA)

I don’t want your gold. (Gold: MARINA)

If you don’t know that by now then you don’t know me that well. (Buy the Stars: MARINA)

You played the martyr for so long that you can’t do anything wrong (Hypocrates: MARINA)

Some things never do change (Cavanaugh Park: Something Corporate)

That’s the lesson that you teach me (Hypocrates: MARINA)

In some sad way I already knew (Like Real People Do: Hozier)

I tried to give reasons...a thousand good reasons (All of my Good Friends, Goodbye: Luke Temple)

And in the end we’ll fall apart (It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish: My Chemical Romance)

I’ve done everything I know to try to make you mine (Long Long Time: Linda Ronstadt)

I know that I shouldn’t even try. It’s a waste of time (Saw You in a Dream: Japanese House)

You say you’re leaving? You’re already gone (Break Myself: Something Corporate)

You’ve gone too far. You broke my heart (Gabriel: Valentina)

You forgave. And I won’t forget (I Will Wait: Mumford & Sons)

There are storms we cannot weather. (I Dreamed a Dream: Les Miserables)

And I think I’m going to miss you for a long, long time. (Long Long Time: Linda Ronstadt)

A Thousand Years: Christina Perri

All of my Good Friends, Goodbye: Luke Temple

Better Son/Daughter: Rilo Kiley

Black and Blue: Chris Garneau

Break Myself: Something Corporate

Bury a Friend: Billie Eilish

Buy the Stars: MARINA

Calamity Song: The Decemberists

Calling You: Blue October

Cavanaugh Park: Something Corporate

Chasing Cars: Snow Patrol

Come What May: Moulin Rouge

Complicated: Avril Lavigne

For a Fool: The Shins

Gabriel: Valentina

Gods & Monsters: Lana del Rey

Gold: MARINA

Hypocrates: MARINA

I Dreamed A Dream: Les Miserables

I Will Follow you into the Dark: Death Cab for Cutie

I Will Wait: Mumford & Sons

Island: Coheed & Cambria

It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish: My Chemical Romance

Kite: Copeland

Let Her Go: Passenger

Like Real People Do: Hozier

Long Long Time: Linda Ronstadt

Love Song: Sara Bareilles

Love Will Tear Us Apart: Joy Division

Madi Don’t Leave: PlayRadioPlay!

On My Own: Les Miserables

Rainy Monday: Shiny Toy Guns

Rifle’s Spiral: The Shins

Rise to Me: The Decemberists

Saw You in a Dream: The Japanese House

September: The Shins

Shesgotstyle: Never Shout Never

Simple Song: The Shins

Straw Dog: Something Corporate

[salt-warrior]

favourite ship and why

If we're talking The Lunar Chronicles, it is—obviously—Kai and Cinder. I love their sarcasm and fun banter, but I really appreciate how well they understand one another and their responsibilities. They balance being playful but also gentle very well, and I think that just makes them enjoyable to read.

But out of all the ships in all the books I've read, my number one would have to be Blue and Gansey from The Raven Cycle. The scene in The Raven King when Adam asks Gansey how he knows he loves Blue—

“You're asking me to define an abstract concept that no one has managed to explain since time began. You sort of sprang it on me," Gansey said. "Why do we breathe air? Because we love air? Because we don't want to suffocate. Why do we eat? Because we don't want to starve. How do I know I love her? Because I can sleep after I talk to her. Why?”

I simply cannot handle them. Also the doomed romance gets me. And the way they slowly grow to understand one another. And how Blue makes Gansey quiet, and Gansey helps Blue to find and chase her passions. I just adore them. I could, quite actually, discuss them for hours.

[thejellyjester]

As Jane Austen summer turned into autumn for some, but was suspended for others I present my draft on Northanger Abbey. This was written one hot August night, in the midst of my Austenmania. I hope my fellow readers enjoy!

Northanger Abbey thoughts

We can rest assured that this 200-year-old novel has been discussed in a lot more comprehensible, thorough and superior ways than what you are about to read. These trivial reflections are, therefore, purely for the enjoyment of Austen Summer participants. 

Northanger Abbey is said to not be on the same level as the other five Austen novels, however I can’t help but find some aspects of the book very endearing. Even though this novel lacks depth of later works by Austen it makes up for in feeling  particularly youthful and passionate. What makes this book notable among the rest is the addition of gothic elements and first person narration. 

The melange of genres was my favourite part of the book. Even if the gothic fiction elements felt underdeveloped in the end, they created a new atmosphere and feeling, not usually present in any Austen books. It also served greatly for the characterisation of Catherine.

The heroine

Admittedly, one of the most intriguing aspects of the book. The very first sentence tells us that you wouldn’t expect a girl like Catherine Morland to be a heroine of a Jane Austen novel. Catherine is naive, ignorant and uninformed, the opposite of Elizabeth Bennet for example. To me, Catherine is the ultimate idealistic teen girly. She gets lost in literature and can’t always tell real life and fiction apart, always seeking to find the romantic nature of literature in real life. Her affinity for gothic fiction helps paint her as…, but ultimately pokes fun at her naivete. While it is easy to recognise oneself in many Jane Austen’s heroines it is particularly Catherine's romanticised view of the world, her search for fantasy and secrets as well as general fondness for antiquity that makes her so endearing to me. That being said, I can find no reason why Henry Tilney would marry her.

The romance

Yes yes, I love Henry Tilney and I love Catherine Morland, but the two of them together…? They are quite plainly the opposite of one another. Mr Tilney is witty and sarcastic and Catherine simply does not know what sarcasm is. Catherine is open and honest and Tilney is subtle and witty. Of course, being completely in agreement on all points is not necessary for marriage but I cannot foresee much felicity for this couple. Eventually, one will get tired of not being understood or the other of not understanding. Worst of all, Austen seems aware of this. In the final chapters she quite literally says that they get married because Tilney is grateful for Catherine’s affection? I fail to see how this is grounds for an Austenian marriage. Hopefully, I am currently unable to see some aspect of this that could explain my confusion. That being said, my opposition to this pairing did little do diminish the enjoyment of the courting. I have to admit that I was kicking my feet when Mr Tilney arrived in Fullerton (by the way, how interesting and fun was the use of Mrs. Morland’s POV for that moment?!).

The conclusion of this book falls in line with others of Austen, meaning it takes a chapter and all story lines are generally tied together. This particular conclusion felt even shorter or more forced than the other ones. Why was there suddenly a love interest for Elinor?

...

[poptartmochi]

OC QUESTION TIME!!! 2, 14, 25, 29, 39, and 50!

OHHHHHOHOHOH, YOU'RE APPROACHING ME!!!! i am not the jonker babey but i AM the rambler so! i'm preemptively putting this below a readmore :']< thank you for the ask sky!!! 😄😄😄💙

here's the prompt!

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

So. 😐😳😳🙈🙈 right now I think the uncontested favorite is Gioia! she's just so girlie of all time... I think the different stages of her character are what keep pulling me back to her- I don't have many characters like that and it's really fun to brainstorm the bridges between each of her eras. Another favorite is Lana, my YGO GX oc and also. my first one ever <3 Gioia has in-universe eras but Lana... lana has had so many rewrites and reincarnations to get to where she is now. working on her feels like honoring baby sarah so I am very partial to Ms. Lana too 🥰

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

ouuuuug I have SO many with tragic backstories.. i was one of those kids growing up that was obsessed with putting my characters through the most harrowing shit ever 😆 i say that like it's in the past.. i am still on this madness n mania! I think one the most tragic backstories I have is that of my Dragon Ball Xenoverse protagonist... Goten! 🤓🤠🤪🤪🤪🤓🤓😳

truthfully in retrospect I cannot tell you WHY I decided to play as Goten, beyond the fact that Xeno Trunks doesn't have his bestie + seemed a bit lonely.. i said by god I'm gonna help you trunks!! 😭😭 I don't remember how or why I ended up where I did, but I decided that this specific iteration of Goten would be from a version of the timeline (and there is. a lot of lore I wrote to explain this 🆘🆘) where Frieza did end up succeeding in defeating Goku and conquering the Earth, falling in line with the Frieza Planet #80 thing that happens in one of the games (I never played it, but I read about this on the wiki and went hahahahahaha). I'm answering this question last so I won't talk too deeply about The Tragedies that happen in his timeline prior to Xenoverse, but :( he ofc never got to meet his dad, and he loses Gohan and Chichi back to back.. I'm going through my notes again- even Piccolo dies?! 😭 Anyways, Goten grows up in a world where everyone is faced with a power so intense that struggling against it is futile. Despite knowing this, the remaining Z Fighters struggle anyways... Without any intervention, the future is very bleak.

Things only change when Goten gets into an attack ship to leave Earth (I think this was originally to go somewhere that he could become powerful without drawing Frieza's attention? but then it kinda fridges the rest of the Z Fighters so i'm not super keen on it anymore..) He's beamed into the prologue of Xenoverse, and the plot unfurls pretty normally from there. Despite the headache he gets trying to understand everything, he's pretty happy to be in the Time Patrol because it does help him become more powerful! plus he gets to learn more about his father + also how to defeat Frieza! I don't think I ever properly circled around to his original narrative, before Xenoverse, but I think that arc should conclude with him realizing Frieza is on some fucked up time sauce and that they Actually Shouldn't be as powerful as they are.. shenanigans ensue, it takes Goten WITH all of the Xenoverse experience, the Z Fighters, and a surprise betrayal from Vegeta to defeat him. :]

Even though his original business with the Time Patrol is finished at that point, I think he stayed with them because he was curious about How his timeline got so fucked up from the original one... this loops into Xenoverse 2, I imagine. Anyways, he has one foot in the Time Patrol and one foot in his own world- iirc they are able to revive everyone who died during Frieza's conquest of Earth bc Gohan has a romance with Videl in their timeline? but I think Goku stays dead bc he'd died twice at that point??

anyways this concluded with xenoverse pan swag, at least one xeno gotenks moment where he uses TWO SWORDS YAHH (Goten uses either Yajirobe's katana or Yamcha's Azure Dragon Sword.. i forget which though 😭😭😭), and a smidge of truten 🥺🥺🥺 to top it all off. his and trunks' relationship here drives me INSANE because like. Trunks doesn't exist in Goten's timeline and Goten doesn't exist in Trunks' timeline, and yet here they are!!! i think they're able to relate on a lot of things too, but primarily the melancholy of fixing issues with the Main Timeline, where everything is good and right, where Goku and Gohan are alive. 🥺 now that I think of it, the one event where your character is supposed to stop Trunks from yeehawing into the sunset with Future Gohan is probably. very difficult for Goten because he'd probably disappear with his suddenly-alive brother too, if given the chance! but anyways thanks to these kinds of things they have a lot of trust in each other + a lot of synchronization between each other.. I think that makes xenoverse 2 a lot more dramatic too mwahahaha

(i answered this one last bc i was worried i'd go overboard with it... the prophecy came true, girl help!! 😱🤪🤪)

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

This one... it is very funny to me... so as I said above, Lana was my first OC ever.. when I first made her at the age of 6 or 7, she was really just a modpodge of things I thought were cool: France 😞, fashion, mysterious green blood that was from another universe....??? When Lana was created, she barely had a personality and well.. since I was an isolated child living on the internet, we really didn't have anything in common.

I rewatched YGO GX during the first COVID lockdown with my sister and girl it woke something UP in me. In her current iteration, there are.. a lot of similarities... like baby me, she was pretty isolated as a kid but Also Thought Nothing of It; she had a fish out of water moment when she finally did get to be around people her own age normally; she had a lot of anxiety about underperforming when compared to her older sibling (this birthed my favorite thing ever for Lana... the Syrus brotherhood of steel.. i thought syrus SUCKED as a kid so this is personally hysterical)... Once she settles into school, she really does fine in her own regard! but that doesn't stop her from having a Senior Year Disillusionment Moment <3, and it takes her many a few years to get back on her feet after graduation...

i'm looking at Lana like 👀👀👀👀 if you can bounce back so can i!!! so can i bitch!!! 👀👀👀👀

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

so considering Gioia literally abandons her entire life to run away with some mystery man and quintessentially go explore some haunted house, without telling anyone... it is Gioia hands down, easy peasy 🤓🤓🤓🤓

I could also see Asa, Thee Primordial Skyrim OC, doing this because she just gets up to this kind of shit accidentally </3 Another OC who would actually do it on purpose would be two of my many Dragon's Dogma OCs: Seveste and Samara! they are twins your honor :] Seveste would do it in pursuit of cool treasure.. Samara would do it to convene with the spirits that haunt the house 😫

39. Introduce any character you want

so I Was going to tell you all about my Dragon's Dogma OCs because they marked the beginning of an Era for my OC creation, and tbh I don't think I'd've gotten to Gioia if not for them, but... I barely have any notes about them and tbh I don't remember the lore enough to actually go into detail about them </3

SO.

I will instead tell you of one of my favorite DD memories and give you a little more info on the aforementioned Mister Seveste! first.. I made him and his sister when I was 15, so. </3 keep this in mind. When I first made him, I wanted to really lean into the thief king idea But I couldn't come up with a name for him.. so I asked my sister for help naming him and she was like Oh! Heinz! because he does Heinous Things!

..............

as u can tell, I Did Not Name Him Heinz. it's funny in retrospect because my first thought back then was Heinz Doofenshmirtz and I was like, NO!!! HE IS SERIOUS!! >:[ but now, he kind of is a doofenshmirtz-esque character..

This Doofenshmirtz aura stems HEAVILY from one very iconic moment in his playthrough. You can romance basically any character in Dragon's Dogma (my first playthrough iirc i Accidentally Romanced the innkeeper or quest-giver without knowing it bc i talked to them frequently. girl help!!), so for Seveste's playthrough I decided to properly romance Aelinore, the young wife of the duke, who is. Much Older Than Her :( iirc this romance was written pretty nicely, although I think you do get thrown in prison and whipped for cucking the duke 🥺🥺 It's all worth it because, in the end, you do get Aelinore out of her situation!!

So, Aelinore romance arc concluded! I carried on with the plot, which eventually meant I had to fight the Now Super Aged Duke in his bedchambers.. Important note here, Seveste is a magick archer and iirc he could shoot flaming arrows? And there were many pots of oil in the bedchambers.. so I remember either pouring these pots out all over the floor or just setting them up maybe? all while the old and feeble duke is trying to get a few punches in on mister Seveste.. it was a time

I got it all set up though, and so the most iconic moment of my entire life unfolded... I had Seveste ready a flaming arrow, and then I yelled at this poor old dying fuck, "FIRST I STOLE YOUR WIFE... NOW I STEAL YOUR LIFE!!!" And then I shot the arrow and he blew the FUCK UP <3

My younger sister and I were like OUHHHHHHH!!!!! It's one of my fondest memories to this day XD Whenever I think back on it now, my brain applies a Doofenshmirtz voice to the quote which makes it even more potent!

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

all of this has made me want to play Dragon's Dogma again... the second game is coming out soon so maybe I should!! beyond that, MAN.. Something I've realized lately is that I honestly need to start reading more and taking more media in.

Growing up, most of my OCs were basically dolls with enough personality and story to make go mwah mwah with the canon characters in whatever thing I was watching. That, or they were my fucked up little meow meows that I used to RP the Hunger Games or what have you... Between Dragon's Dogma and now, I think they've gained a stronger sense of narrative BUT. Something I've noticed between my more recent major OCs like Lana, Thalis, and Gioia is that they're all a reflection of myself in one way or another. Which is partially fine, everything I ever create will have a bit of me in it somehow yk. But I think they're a little repetitive and I want to branch out more with their personalities and stories.. everyone kind of has a depressed girl era that they crawl out of, which I've written to give myself hope in a personally dark time but.. their depressed girl eras can be Richer! them crawling out of the hole can have more depth!

I want to revamp a lot of the OCs I made in my youth and rewrite their stories, but I think I will expand my own horizons before I do so!

[fishylife]

Fishy’s top movies watched in 2022

I do love making these posts every year. It's a lot of fun!

Once again, this post is not to rank movies based on how objectively good they are, but rather, ranking them based on how much of an impact they had on me personally. They will also be ranked in tiers rather than a numbered post (i.e. not in any particular order).

Here are the links to my movie posts in previous years: (2020) (2021) I also regularly do write ups on every movie I watch over at my (Dreamwidth).

Let's begin!

My favourite movies of the year

These were the movies that had the biggest impacts on me. I have a lot of thoughts about them.

First Reformed (2017)

I always love stories with Christian themes lol. This movie followed a reverend as he counselled an environmental extremist, and slowly started to question his own beliefs as well. I thought this movie's insights on both religion (and crises of faith) and extremism were really interesting. It took some thinking before I made sense of it but I thought this movie was really well thought out in how it connected the dots between the characters and the main themes of the movie. Highly recommend if you like drama films and films about religion.

Network (1976)

Awesome movie about a TV network. At the beginning of the movie, a TV anchorman found out that he was going to be let go due to low ratings, and he told the audience that he was going to kill himself on live TV, which naturally drove ratings up.

The movie covered several story lines on the relationships between TV, TV executives, people who appeared on TV, and people who watched TV, and it really dug into what drew the attention of the masses, which tended to be extreme stuff like death and outrage, but also sympathetic programs that made viewers feel seen and acknowledged.

The gif I chose is from one of my favourite scenes in the movie, of which an executive was explaining "corporate cosmology," a pseudoreligion that worshipped corporations.

A black comedy through and through, definitely recommend for those who are interested in people's relationships with media.

Shadow (影) (2018)

Zhang Yimou's new movies tend to be hit-or-miss for me, but this one was a hit. It reminded me of early 2000s Zhang Yimou style in its visual aesthetic. To be honest I teared up at one point in this movie because I found the visuals so moving (at a part that's not even sad, how embarrassing lol). So that's one of the reasons why this movie made it high on my list. I had a hard time choosing one gif for this movie because it looked so fantastic from beginning to end.

The story was an adaptation of a story from the Three Kingdoms period, specifically the battle at Jingzhou. All of the names of the characters were changed, likely because the story wasn't historically accurate. The major difference of this movie (revealed towards the beginning) was that one of the major generals was in fact in hiding and the man who posed as him was his body double (his shadow). The acting for this movie was great. I think what also set this movie apart from some of Zhang Yimou's more classic works was that the style of acting was generally livelier.

This movie was on the simple side of Zhang Yimou's high production value movies, but something about it just spoke to me personally. I recommend this for people who love pretty looking movies.

5 Centimeters per Second (秒速5センチメートル) (2007)

I don't normally love romance movies, but I thought the messages this movie communicated about romantic love were so thoughtful and nuanced. This movie was split into three parts, each covering a different part of the main character's life, and exploring his love and the love directed at him. In particular, it explored themes of growing with or without love, how love stays with one and how to deal with it when a love that cannot be attained stays with you. A relatively simple story, as there were only a few characters but I think exploring them at different ages was a great way to get the message across. I'd recommend this for people who like mature romances.

Honourable mentions

I liked these movies a lot, and they did also make me think, but they just didn't make the top of my list.

The Vanishing (Sporloos) (1988)

This movie covered two timelines. The past story line was about a couple, where a girlfriend disappeared. The present story line was about the boyfriend finally getting answers.

Why I rated this movie highly was that a little while after watching this movie (like 24 hours later), I started to feel a sense of dread and fear. And I think it was because the psychological aspect of the movie took some time to sink in, but once it did, it just made me feel kind of sick.

Definitely check this out if you like psychological movies.

Hero (英雄) (2002)

This movie was about a nameless hero on a mission to kill the king, Ying Zheng, who was the first Emperor to unite the Warring States of China. The movie was portrayed in a Rashomon style, where the nameless hero and the king each told stories about how the hero came to have an audience with the king, each version with different variations.

Before I'd watched this movie, I was a bit skeptical about this movie being a wuxia movie, because I knew there was a political story line to it. Having watched this movie though, I felt it melded the wuxia and political genres well, finding a middle ground and commenting on how wuxia and political/patriotism themes compared and contrasted against each other.

This wasn't a strictly action movie so it wasn't non-stop all the time, but I do think that Jet Li's fighting looks awesome. Like with Shadow, I'd recommend this movie for people who love great looking movies, but also for people who are interested in Chinese culture, as I thought the discussions between the hero and the king were thoughtful.

The Favourite (2018)

This movie was about two ladies vying to be Queen Anne's favourite (basically her favoured lover). One lady, Sarah, was Queen Anne's childhood friend. She loved Queen Anne, in a way that was not only romantic, but she was also comfortable enough with Queen Anne to not always be flattering her. Abigail was the new girl in the castle, who wanted to flatter and seduce her way up into a better life.

This story line reminded me of harem Cdramas. It's all about how you flatter the main authority, which in this case was Queen Anne. But this movie had a different take, because though Queen Anne was the main authority here, her power was not absolute and she also went through a character journey, which was not something I often saw with such characters in Cdramas. I especially found the aftermath of the conflicts and the ending really interesting.

Yorgos Lanthimos has a very distinct and strange direction style, and it persisted in this movie. I can see why it may be offputting to certain people. For example, one of things that are very distinct about his direction style is that his actors always have very cold line delivery, almost with little emotion. But I've come to appreciate it. Maybe it's because the delivery is so cold that we really focus on what's being said.

Check this out if you like Yorgos Lanthimos, or if you want to "ease" into his work, because this movie is probably one of the "less weird" of his lol.

Border (Gräns) (2018)

A very peculiar movie. I read other people's comments on this movie, and even among people who liked this movie, many found it a bit too "weird" at times. But I thought it was weird enough to express a message. As a spoiler, this movie is considered fantasy.

Our main character was a woman who worked as a border services guard. She had an unusual appearance and a very good sense of smell, going so far as to be able to smell emotions like fear or worry. But she really had trouble fitting in. One day, she met a man who had a similar appearance to her, and was also similarly odd in behaviour. Through him, she learned more about herself. I won't go too much into this to avoid further spoilers.

This movie explored themes of humanity, what moral values make a person human, and humans' relationship with people who are different.

In terms of what I think turned people away, this movie leaned into the nitty gritty of fantasy, as in the actual biological particulars, so that was why some people were weirded out. Personally I didn't find it so weird, and I thought it really helped flesh the world out.

Check this movie out if you're interested in more "realistic" fantasy.

Confessions (告白) (2010)

This movie was about a middle school teacher taking revenge on two of her students for killing her daughter. As a middle school teacher, she was aware of the leniencies afforded to kids that weren't afforded to adults, so that's why she needed to go around the law.

To be honest I bumped up the score on this movie because I really liked the novel it was based on and the movie followed the novel quite closely.

The novel was called Confessions, as it was made up of a handful of very long monologues by various characters in the story. Because of the inherent differences between novels and movies as media, this aspect of the story could not be communicated. As well, some aspects of the movie production were a bit dated (older music, dramatic direction). So for those reasons, I'd still highly recommend the book, but this movie was still a solid thriller.

Capernaum (كفرناحوم‎) (2018)

This movie started with a boy in court, telling the judge of his intention to sue his parents for giving birth to him. The movie then went back in time to show the suffering that the boy experienced in his life, much of it coming from child poverty and child abuse. There were parts of the movie that were very bleak and showed how kids really are subject to the fates of the adults around them.

This was a very bleak movie. It had some moments that were very striking and will stay with me for a long time. I will spoil that the movie did have a somewhat hopeful ending. Though I felt that the ending didn't exactly fit this movie, perhaps this ending would be more preferable for people who would hate the bleak parts of the movie.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend this movie because it was so bleak, but I did think the stories and relationships between the children in this movie were touching, which really contrasted against the society around them that didn't do enough to protect children.

Movies that were still good

I thought these movies were good, and I can see these movies speaking to people, though they weren't my personal top movies.

Princess Mononoke (もののけ姫) (1997)

This movie has been on my to-watch list for a while. It was one of the more serious Studio Ghibli films. The story was about a prince going across the land to find the Deer God who could lift the curse he'd encountered while battling a demon boar. During his journey, he met a girl who was raised by a Wolf God (who would be the eponymous princess).

I've noticed that Studio Ghibli films tend to have environmentalist themes, and this movie was definitely one of them. Through this story, the movie explored the relationships between human industrialization and nature. I also appreciated that this movie's take on human industrialization was nuanced, showing how industry was harmful to the forest, but also gave a life to disadvantaged people (such as women or those who were disabled).

Blue Velvet (1986)

This movie followed a main character as he attempted to uncover the truth behind a human ear he found. He got deeper and deeper into the story and so many things were left unexplained but he kept going.

This movie was extremely freaky and to this day I am still a bit afraid of it. It isn't horror in the traditional sense but there was so much unexplained weirdness in this movie that I started feeling dread or horror whenever I thought about this movie.

I thought it was interesting to explore this story through our main character, who is also not normal. Watch this movie if you're ready for weirdness, but it can get really intense at times. For me it was scary because I didn't know where the limits were. I didn't know that something insane wasn't going to happen because all the characters in this movie were capable of doing something totally unhinged.

The only other movie I'd seen from David Lynch was Mulholland Drive, and I definitely saw the similarities, with the story being a bit dreamlike and ambiguous, with some freaky moments (that hobo in Mulholland Drive still freaks me out to this day).

A Passage to India (1984)

This movie was about a lady visiting her fiance in India, which at the time was a British colony. I'd say that this movie was about how her trip to India and the people she met there changed her.

Though I thought this movie had some interesting points, the fact that it's a bit dated is why I'm a little hesitant to recommend it too strongly. The 1924 book that this movie was based on was said to have Orientalist takes, and I think some of them bled over into the movie. Alec Guinness portraying an Indian professor, a guru-like character was definitely a huge yikes!!!

There were some interactions between characters which I thought were a bit cringe and definitely Orientalist, but there were also some interactions where the ethnic tensions and class differences were very much the point, and I did find those interesting. So this is why I'm a little…mixed on this movie. Advance at your own risk.

Only Yesterday (おもひでぽろぽろ) (1991)

This was a light but still mature movie, about a woman working in the city but whose heart belonged to the country. I did think that there were some aspects of the story that were a bit dated and represented social norms at the time. But I thought that the main character's past and memories being explored was really interesting and really cute at times too. I can see why this movie was as popular as it was at the time. It was a mature romance, and by romance I mean both romantic love, but also a sense of yearning and wishing for a certain lifestyle.

Arrietty (借りぐらしのアリエッティ) (2010)

Another Studio Ghibli film that I felt had very strong environmentalist themes. This movie was about a boy who moved to the countryside for his health. At the house he moved to, he found that there was a family of little tiny people who lived there too. The boy wanted to strike up a friendship with the family, but there were repercussions to the family being discovered by humans.

I thought this movie was pretty unambiguous in expressing that we may admire nature, but it's not meant to be tampered with by us. And I think this film attempted to show us this still with a hopeful tone, expressing that this is how to ensure survival of both.

Train to Busan (부산행) (2016)

Very highly touted thriller movie, and I can see why it was so popular. This movie was about a businessman who was taking his daughter to Busan for the day. While on the train, there was a zombie outbreak, and the movie covered the cast of characters trying to survive.

I think this movie was popular because it was a good mix of different kinds of story lines. You had the pure action/survival story line, in which all of our characters used various methods to fend off the zombies and to protect themselves and their loved ones. There was also a drama story line surrounding each of the characters. Each of them had their own story, and in their dying hours, we saw how each of them dealt with their impending death, what they found worthy of dying for, what they would miss, who they loved, etc.

Closing Remarks

Towards the end of the year, around November, I started thinking that I wouldn't have many movies to include in this year's list. But I think what's happening is that I'm starting to look at pockets of film (by genre, by director, etc.) that can be a hit or miss for me.

Have you seen any of these movies? Are there any movies that sound interesting to you? Let me know :3 I love talking about movies!

[cloudoriant]

INTRODUCTION

Welcome to my corrupted mind.

Hello Dear Reader, I am Cloudoriant. I'm a, almost 19 year old, novice writer who desires to better myself and share my work. I mostly write romance and fantasy pieces but I'd like to try and expand into different genres at some point.

I hope you, Dear Reader, can help me improve my skills in writing with constructive advice and feedback on my writing.

I won't be very active on here as I have a part time job and I'm set to start as a student in a higher education course in hopes to start university in the near future. I'm also British so I hope that explains my difference in vocabulary.

A little bit more about myself: I go by She/Her mostly but I really don't care if any other pronouns are used, I'm pansexual but I am in a very loving relationship with my boyfriend and we'll be hitting our 1 year anniversary very soon.

My music taste is very diverse I listen to many genres in many languages so if you have a recommendation I would love to have a listen. I love Art and Gaming too. My special interest is Star Wars, I absolutely am obsessed with the Star Wars universe and I'm currently watching everything available on Disney+ in timeline order .

My favourite books I have read so far are: the ACOTAR series, the Shadow and bone and Six of Crows series, The 7 husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Punk 57 and I'm currently reading the Bridgerton series.

On my to be read list is: Lolita, the perks of being a wall flower and I'm thinking about buying the second book of the twisted series by Ana Huang when I can.

I may post book reviews too because why not.

I have a pet cat named Bella. She is my everything and I've had her since I was 15 and she was a kitten so the attachment to each other is very very strong.

Also, I'm an introvert so people are my least favourite thing and I may rant about certain people I "hate" from time to time because I just cannot help myself and it may be entertaining to you guys who knows.

I think that is everything, I look forward to sharing my work with everyone. 🫶

[bisexualdeans]

Honest question here- I truly don’t understand why people are so obsessed over hozier when he writes such bone crushing depressing songs. It feels like there’s not enough hope in them and as someone that struggles with anxiety and depression and feeling lost on and off and has done so for years and it’s all an ebb and flow….it feels like Hozier presents a mindset I don’t want to be in.

Could you please explain it to me? I’m incredibly confused.

Hello anon!

Well, I cannot answer for everyone obviously, but as someone who also struggles a lot with mental health issues it has always helped me a lot personally to listen to songs that reflected my mindset, mostly because that way I wouldn't feel alone. (ie. my favourite band ever is Linkin Park, followed closely by My Chemical Romance, I used to listen to a lot of Evanescence, Icon for Hire, and so on)

This is not to say that the opposite experience isn't valid! It's just me, personally, well, I've always found a comfort in artists that reflected my darkest sides rather than in upbeat and/or more hopeful music and scenarios. So that might be it for a lot of people :)

As for Hozier, specifically, it's not even about this for me - I just feel so immersed in his songs, so transported to such an elsewhere plane of existence. But I do see how it can be too heavy for many people and that's okay!!

[late-to-the-party-81]

Of Mountains and Men

AN: Back for my mini celebration for 400 followers I asked folk to vote for one of four of my one-shots that they thought deserved a follow-up. I posted the sequel to Behave (Here with Us), but as the voting was so close, though I would work on the runner-up for this celebration. You guys love our thick-thighed daddy, don't you? Good, he deserves it. So please sit back and enjoy this follow up to In the Hall of the Mountain King.

Series Master list

Beta'd by @christywantspizza and @viva-asgardia, Divider by @firefly-graphics and mood board by me (I do not own any of the images)

Please also click on the link embedded near the end of the fic for the gorgeous art by @elkleggs that helped inspire me.

Pairing: M'Baku x Journalist! Reader (Sabi)

Word Count: 2.5k

CW: Culture clash, Minor Angst, Explicit sexual content (Oral - M and F receiving, Cum feeding, Unprotected P in V sex), M,Baku just being himself (that's a warning), realisation of feelings.

It had been a month since you’d arrived in Wakanda, and Gorilla City in particular.

Three weeks since the start of your whirlwind romance with M’Baku.

Not one person had batted an eyelid, or made any comment, as far as you were aware, when all your things were moved from your guest hut to M’Baku’s room. He was their leader and his decisions were not anyone’s to question. 

Except for you. 

You couldn’t seem to help it. Blame it on the culture clash or blame it on your own personality, perhaps. At least M’Baku never seemed to be that cross with you, as long as you didn’t question him anywhere but in these chambers, with only the two of you present.  

The combative nature between you made for some interesting discussions, and even more interesting apologies. M’Baku may have been the leader of the Jabari, and in public you would defer to that as a guest in his home, but in private, you bowed to no man unless you decided to.

There had only been one occasion, when observing him in his throne room, where you’d gone to open your mouth. However, barely a syllable had left your throat before you were hastened to silence by a barking grunt leaving M’Baku’s lips. He hadn’t even looked at you, still focused on the task at hand.

You'd been so embarrassed, but he had spoken to you more in length later on, as you’d pouted and railed at his rudeness.

“My flower, you need to observe, and learn more about us, how our tribe works. You may have thought me rude for cutting you off that way, but that is how all who interrupt are warned to stay silent. I cannot yet treat you differently. In our culture, you were the one being offensive, by questioning me in public.”

Somehow, despite your anger, you’d let him pull you into his arms, one hand cupping your face.

“I love your fire, little one. If you wish to know why I have decided things as I have, if you wish to censure me, do it here. I will listen and I will explain. And, believe it or not, if you convince me I am wrong I will admit it.”

His free hand had held you close, pressing your body against the length of his, his desire for you obvious. You’d both gone on to apologise to each other, long into the night.

So, you’d abided by his edict, saving your frustrations until the two of you were alone.

“Sabi, this is my city and my people. I will decide how disputes are settled…”

He was sitting in his favourite chair, in his vast chambers, lounging after a hard day of listening to petty grievances and squabbles, meting out justice.  You stood in front of him, hands on your hips, astounded by the way he was as immovable as the mountain he lived on.

“But you brushed the plaintiffs' concerns and arguments aside. You barely listened to him.”

M’Baku leant forwards, one corded arm snaking out to snag one of your wrists and pull you closer until you had no choice but to straddle his lap. As your soft inner thighs pressed against the muscled outside of his, you couldn’t help but marvel over the fact that this man, this warrior, this king, wanted you. He wasn’t quiet or shy in his worship of you.

“You have been here barely a month, ododo mi. And despite your best intentions, you do not know all the ways of the Jabari people yet. You do not know every nuance of our history.”

His broad hands settled on your waist, thumbs lightly rubbing at your soft skin, teasing gently. Gods, his touch was hypnotic.

“The man that you so valiantly champion comes here, every two weeks, almost without fail, with some issue about one neighbour or another. He is old, and this is his entertainment. We always schedule him last and wait with baited breath as to what he will be complaining about. I think it keeps him young.”

He chuckled, the deep sound vibrating in his chest. You pressed your hands against his pecs, feeling the movement and feeling the heat of him. Despite the fact he lived in the coldest place in Wakanda, up in the mountains, he was always warm, his body feeling like a furnace when he held you close in the night. 

You felt a wave of embarrassment wash through you, and you dropped your head with a sigh. You were frustrated with yourself. M’Baku clicked his tongue at you, tipping up your chin with the side of his forefinger.

“You still have lots to learn. You have only been here a short time. The longer you stay, the more you will know.”

The status of your relationship lay undiscussed, a yawning chasm between you. You both skirted round the edge of it. Would you want to stay long term if he wanted you to? Would he be willing to open himself to the possibility of a long term relationship with an outsider? For now, you both ignored the gorilla in the room, concentrating on the here and now, leaving tomorrow for another time.

“For now though, I think you have an apology to make…”

His smile was mischievous, his eyes sparkling with mirth and boyish charm, a million miles away from the gruff façade he presented. You weren’t immune to it, no matter how hard you tried. You grinned back at him.

“And does my king have any particular apology in mind?”

You raised an eyebrow as you shifted on his lap, grinding against him, before he eased you backwards, sliding you gently off his legs. You sank down to your knees, grateful for the thick furs that carpeted the floor. M’Baku spread his legs further and you settled between them, running your hand up the firm muscles of his thigh. 

He was so beautiful. The best painters and sculptors in the world would not be able to do this man justice. You could get lost in the peaks and valleys of his body; the juxtaposition between the hardness and softness of him. He was a study in contradictions, the fearsome warrior who eschewed meat. The serious ruler who laughed and giggled like a small boy when entertained.

You leant forward and pressed a kiss to his inside thigh, just above his knee. You looked up at him, his expression lustful, as your kisses rose up higher, your fingers trailing up the opposite leg.  M’Baku made quick work of the clasp of his skirts, pushing the furs away, as you inched closer to your prize.

Your lips trailed across his hips and your nose nuzzled into the curly hair that surrounded his base. You breathed in the earthy, musky scent that was all him, and you could feel your own desire pooling between your legs. 

Spitting into your palm, you took hold of his thick cock, fingers unable to meet, and your pussy clenched as your brain reminded you how it felt to be stretched around him. You moved your hand up and down slowly, spreading your spit and swiping your thumb at the precum leaking from his tip.

A low growl came from him, a noise tinged with impatient need.

“Sabi… please…”

You shivered. Here was this man, king of his people, pleading with you to pleasure him, as though only your touch could bring him to ecstasy. You wet your lips with your tongue before taking the head of his cock into your mouth.

He groaned and his hips twitched at the wet warmth you were surrounding him with. You bobbed your head, easing down his length, fraction by fraction. There was too much of him for you to take fully into your mouth, so you let your saliva spill down, jerking the rest of him with your hand, in time with your mouth.

One of his hands came to rest on your head, petting your head as he let his own fall back. You teased his frenulum and his slit in turn, your free hand massaging his heavy balls, and your fingers pressing into the soft spot behind them.

M’Baku’s fingers tightened on your scalp and he moaned again.

“Sabi, Sabi, Sabi… by Hanuman. Idan ni ẹnu rẹ.” He was reduced to pants and groans, brief mumbles in Yoruba, and little jerks of his hips as he tried to restrain himself from fucking up into your face. The lessening of his control was like an aphrodisiac and you moaned, the vibrations pushing him closer towards his end.

M’Baku came with a loud cry, unembarrassed to vocalise his pleasure. You held your head still as he bucked his hips once, twice, before spilling down your throat. You swallowed quickly, but some of his cum still leaked from between your lips. As you let his cock fall from your mouth, his hand slid down from your head and his thumb caught up the rogue rivulet of his salty spend. He brought the digit up to your lips and you drew it in, your gaze caught with his as you sucked it clean.

He pulled down your lower lip, moving his thumb over the soft wetness, before grasping the back of your neck and pulling you up to him, as he himself stood. His lips captured yours, tongue invading your mouth and tasting himself there. Your hands flew to the leather straps that still criss-crossed his chest, holding on to stop your legs giving out. 

You squeaked as M’Baku scooped you up, his strength turning you on even more. He lay you on the bed and removed the rest of his clothes and then yours. You were thankful the bed was closer to the hearth that was in his room. You watched as the golden light from the flames illuminated both your skin and his.

He moved over you, his large body covering yours, as he kissed you.

“I am bewitched by you; The hold you have on me, Sabi. You infuriate and beguile me in equal measure.”

He quickly switched your positions, so he was under you, then grasped your hips to draw you up him. You cried out as your clit rubbed over the planes of his body, until he moved you to sit on his face. He held you with a broad hand on each buttock, not allowing you to pull away.

As he set about eating your cunt, your hands flew to the wall behind the bed, to keep your balance. Moans and cries of pleasure were ripped from you. You were already so keyed up, and M’Baku so familiar with your body, that it didn’t take long for your orgasm to hit you. All your inhibitions left you as you ground down and fucked your self on him, his well trimmed facial hair rubbing at your inner thighs in a delicious burn.

You were incoherent as you rode out your orgasm, both praises and curses being levelled at the king beneath you. You sagged against him, dizzy and breathless, but you’d barely had the chance to get your bearings before he moved out from under you. 

You found yourself on your hands and knees, M’Baku crowding up behind you, his cock recovered and probing at your wetness.

“Yes…” You hissed out your need. His hand pushed down gently between your shoulder blades, and you dropped your upper body to the bed, arching your back.

His cock slid up and down your folds, spreading your wetness, and it was your turn to plead.

“Jowo,ọba mi. I need you.”

“Then you will have me, my flower.”

He breached you slowly, with short shallow thrusts. You felt yourself stretching to accommodate him, biting your lower lip to quieten your whimpers. 

“I want to hear you…”

He pawed at your breast, plucking at your nipple, and you clenched down on him as you moaned louder. He played with each breast in turn as he carved his way inside you, chuckling as your walls fluttered around him.

“The way you draw me in, little one. It is the most alluring sight.”

Both of you grunted as he bottomed out, and he rocked into you for a few moments as your body adjusted to the intrusion. When you became restless, and started to whine, he started up a slow thrusting. He was well aware of his size, but he was a gentle and considerate lover, and the last thing he wanted to do was cause you pain.

He had one hand on your hip, the other still clutching one of your breasts. You covered that hand with your own.

“More, please!”

At your plea he pulled your body upright, your back pressed to his broad chest as he pistoned in and out of you. He continued to fondle your breasts, and the hand that had been on your hip moved round and down, between your slippery folds. His rough forefinger moved over your swollen clit, causing your body to jerk and your pussy to clench.

“That’s it, ododo mi, let me have your pleasure. Let me worship you and give me that in return.”

Your head was leant back against his chest, your arms above your head, wrapped around his neck as you held on. M’Baku looked down at you, smiling at your fucked out expression as he continued to plunge in and out of you. 

He lowered his head to talk softly into your ear, “My beautiful Sabi-Star… cum for me. Cum for your king.”

You trembled in his strong arms, your mouth open in a silent scream as you came, tears prickling your eyes, as your senses were overwhelmed. Your heart felt swollen in your chest, beating so hard you thought it would burst out.

M’Baku came then, an almost triumphant roar echoing around the chamber as he pumped every bit of his cum into your spasming channel.

You collapsed together onto the bed, panting hard. Withdrawing from your body, M’Baku turned you in his arms, smiling broadly.

“Your passion never ceases to amaze me, my flower.”

You tried to smile back, but it wouldn’t come; your heart and head locked in an eternal struggle. You leant forward and dropped a kiss to his chest, before getting up and taking yourself behind the privacy screen, to use the chamber pot and clean up. 

When you came back out, M’Baku was lying back on the bed, resplendent and confident in his nudity. He continued to smile as you rejoined him on the bed, pressing yourself into his side, an arm over his thick waist.

“You are unusually quiet. Did I fuck all of the words right out of you?” 

His teasing tone did manage to bring a smile to your face then and you pinched him.

“I’m just tired, and need to sleep.”

He drew the furs over your bodies and dropped a kiss to your head.

“Then have sweet dreams, Sabi.”

You closed your eyes and willed yourself to rest, but your mind was racing a mile a minute. It was chastising you, because you’d lied to him. You weren’t alright; you were in love.

Tag list: @jobean12-blog @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky @tuiccim @beelicious-barnes @yarnforbrains @sidepartskinnyjeans @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @krissy25 @bodeckersdiamonddoll @turbolisedcomet @goldylions

[matsuokaparadise]

Birthday Present

Genre: slice of life, slight angst, mainly fluff, oneshot

Summary: you and Rin had been "separated" for a while, but you decide to send him a birthday message to break the months long silence and you find out that the feelings you thought had died had in fact just kept themselves hidden...

Heyheyhey sweethearts, guess who's back! I'm not even going to try to explain why I've been absent for literal ages (I'm kind of lazy lol), but I hope you guys will forgive me - here's a cute lil birthday fic because I cannot forget my favourite boy's 02/02... I hope you enjoy!

Also, in case you guys want a part 2... you know what to do;) It's gonna be all about that steamy romance...

it's been a while since you and your ex boyfriend hadn't talked - you never really did break up per se, but the distance between the two of you had been growing larger and colder, to the point where you easily could have considered yourself single

the hectic life the two of you were living: you, with your impossible degree, him, with his impossible training routine, prevented either of you from thinking things trough too much

the busy life was essentially leaving no space for any doubts, nostalgia or sadness to sink in - everything was simply taken at face value, accepted, never once dwelled upon

nevertheless, although Rin felt like a distant memory, he somehow seemed a permanent figure in your life; at the back of your head, you were convinced that, if you were to get in touch and hang out, nothing will have changed

We could always pick things up again when things get better - it doesn't seem like he's seeing anyone anyway, and it's been ages already... I'm sure that he doesn't want to look for someone else

things never did get better, yet you could not resist the urge to pick up the phone once the date 02/02 appeared on your calendar

I had completely forgotten that it's his birthday... I should definitely text him, it'd be rude if I didn't, right...? Or rather... would it be weird if I did?

hesitating, you opened the chat window and pasted the message you had been carefully crafting for the past 45 minutes: you had decided on "Happy birthday~ Hope u didn't work too hard today!"

That should do it, I don't want to seem too cold but also not too serious... Or is this going to look too desperate?

after a good 10 minutes of pasting and deleting, you eventually made up your mind, and pressed enter

Ugh, fuck this, I'm just being polite, what the hell am I being all nervous about anyway?

you tried to play it cool, yet you still turned off notifications from his chat - you were, for one reason or another, dreading his response

Y/n, get a goddamn grip... you scolded yourself, upon checking if he had seen your message for the 600th time

eventually, you grew tired of being anxious over such a "trivial" matter, and decided to occupy your time with work, then go straight to sleep, notifications off

He's probably celebrating, he's obviously not gonna be checking his messages when he's with his family, he barely sees them anyway...

after not so good a night's sleep, you wake up much too early - so much so that the sun was still not yet up

you sighed at the realisation that you instantly felt a knot in your stomach, and decided to get up right away to make some coffee and breakfast - clearly, the hunger was the one to blame for the racing pulse as well...

anyhow, you set off to make some breakfast (which you almost burn to ashes because you were constantly spacing out) and then decide to finally check your phone

Matsuoka Rin 1:20 "Thanks, this time I ac..."

Fuck, he replied already - damn you y/n for turning off notifications, now you actually have to open the chat to be able to see the whole message!! you facepalmed yourself, regretting your lack of foresight

Ah, whatever, you know what, not a big deal, I'll just open it and-

*buzz*

just as you plucked up the courage to tap on the chat, a new message immediately pops up

R: "How have you been lately? It's been a while"

typing...

R: "Ah, shit, that was kind of awkward, sorry for double texting 6h later lol"

AAAAH fuck my life, now I have to reply on the spot or it's gonna look weird; what kind of damn timing is this?!

Y: "Hahaha, no, no, not at all"

Y: "Yeah, it's really been a while"

Y: "Tbh not any different, uni is kinda killing me as per usual"

Y: "You?"

I couldn't have made this more stiff if I tried... tsk

typing...

R: "Been alright, trainings and all that"

R: "Thinking of whether I wanna go to grad or not for now"

What the hell do I respond to this? Do I just go like oh, I see.. Do I seem involved and keep the conversation going? I never should have texted him, this is pissi-

*buzz*

R: "Look, actually, I'd been meaning to text you today too"

R: "So I'll cut the crap"

Huh?

R: "Recently you keep popping up"

R: "But yesterday you even made an appearance in my dream"

R: "Which is weird, I never really dream people I know"

R: "But yeah, I guess what I'm tryna say is"

R: "I felt like talking to you"

What is he even saying... What the hell does this mean!!! What am I supposed to understand from this can you just be clearer for fuck's sake asdadjfhjkdsfhjk

you were pacing around the room, frustrated. You didn't even pay any mind to the fact that you were supposed to respond on the spot

Wait

you stop abruptly

What do I want to understand from this?

you stand there for a while, thousands of thoughts enveloping your mind and rushing in front of your eyes

at one point, your expression changed from one of frustration to one of serious determination

you quietly pick up the phone and start typing

Y: "Are you free to talk"

Y: "I mean, like, talk talk"

Y: "I think I realised sth, and I'd wanna talk about it properly"

you swallow loudly as you send that last message

Fuck it, I just have to go for it, otherwise it's gonna sit at the back of my head for ages and it's only gonna piss me off

R: "sure, when are u free"

R: "If u want, we could do later today, training is off this afternoon"

Y: "Works"

Y: "Do you mind if we do either of our places"

Y: "I don't wanna have this conv in public"

R: "yeah, no problem, I can come over to yours so you don't have to walk back when it's dark?"

Y: "Thanks, I'll see you at like 5 then?"

R: "yeah, see you then"

you dropped your phone on the bed, as if it were carrying the entire weight that was on your shoulders

you fell face down on the pillow, taking a while to process the developments

What the HELL is this

He's coming the fuck O V E R

What the hell was I thinking, what am I even gonna tell him? Hey, nice seeing you, actually, you know, I realised I'm still in love with you??

AS IF

Hey, Google, how do i fake a broken leg in less than-

Ah, fuck this nevermind nevermind

Whatever! I'll just do this and whatever happens happens

I'm going to get it over and done with - we talk, I get things off my chest, he tells me we should break it off for good so we can both move on, and I get him off my mind for good!

And I won't have to remember how I would wake up next to him, or how cute he was whenever I tickled him, or how he'd get serious and look me in the eye and tell me I'm the only one he's ever truly been in love with, and-

Wait - fuck

What... what is this

Nononono, y/n, this is not the time

Wipe your damn tears off your face or you are done for- you know that if you cry you never stop

every time you'd dry your tears and calm yourself down, your peace would be short lived, as new memories entered your mind

before you knew it, it was dangerously close to the time of the "reunion", and you still hadn't managed to stabilise your emotions fully

suddenly, the seriousness of the situation hits you: you become aware of what sort of conversation you are actually supposed to have, and its implications

Whether or not Rin stays in my life...weighs on this afternoon

before you had the time to internalise this newly acquired realisation, the intercom rang

Fuck, get it together y/n, you need to keep this nice and professional, there's no need for emotional outbursts

Just take a deep brea-

*di-ing*

your breath got stuck in your throat, had you really managed to pull it all together?

but there was really no time left for you to ponder this, or anything at all for that matter

you decided to give in to the adrenaline that had taken over you

Ok, this has to be done

you straighten up your face and open the door

"Hey, sorry, just realised the kitchen was in a bit of a mess haha... Come in!" you plastered on the most convincing fake smile you could muster up

"Hey, don't worry about it," he greeted you with a polite expression of his own. "Thanks"

"I have some tea if you want? Also.. um... orange juice? A coffee? Just let me know"

you didn't really know how the conversation would begin - would either of them have to initiate it right away? Did they have to make awkward small talk for a while and hope that a right time for a transition would come?

"Thanks, but I'm alright for now"

"Ah, sure, let me know if you change your mind," was the best response you could conjure up then

not really knowing what to do with yourself, you sat down on the chair opposite to him, and moved some of the books that were on the coffee table a bit more to the side

neither one of you said a word during this time

Maybe I should just ask him what's up or something? What do I even start off with?

"Hey, y/n?"

you looked up at him, surprised. The chain of thought that you had had was broken, a knot forming in your chest

"You finally looked at me," he smiled. But, for some reason, it seemed rather bitter. No- not bitter, but perhaps, self deprecating.

you swallowed again, nerves building up with every passing moment

"I understand it if you're mad at me for dropping this on you out of the blue but I-"

"I'm not mad!" you interrupted him, your voice strained

Rin's eyes widened slightly at your reaction, and your cheeks grew hot at the realisation

"I'm not-I'm not mad at all, ok? Why would I be? I was the one who reached out anyway" you cleared your throat and straightened your back

"I'm just kind of quiet because I don't really know what to say... I mean, it's been a while and this was so out of the blue and everything"

"You really haven't changed," he chuckled sweetly. "But, I'm the same, I guess" he sighed. "It doesn't even feel like it's been that long though, don't you think? It does and it does not at the same time" he pouted. Why on earth would he pout at a time like this? How were his reactions so natural? You were surprised at the familiarity of the whole scene. You had expected to either see a stranger, or have your heart completely wrecked by the overwhelming amalgamation of memories and feelings flooding you. Instead, all you see is the same focused eyes, charming smile and relaxed manner of a person you had fallen in love with and cherished with your entire being.

"How did this happen?" you found yourself blurting out, as the feelings you had been holding back subtly began making their way back into your heart.

"I mean- how did... How did we even get so... far from the other?" you chuckled nervously and added: "It's not like anything happened, right? I swear, only we could have ended up being such dumbasses, hahaha," you tried to play off the nerves that were beginning to get the best out of you.

God I sound so stupid, but if I don't joke around I'm fucked, I can't make a scene here

"Yeah... it really was dumb, wasn't it?" again, that self-deprecating smile. You felt your heart being squeezed painfully tight - if only I could hug him better... You caught yourself thinking despite yourself

*sigh*

your attention was yet again shifted to the man in front of you

"That's better; you know, I really don't like it when you aren't looking at me, I really can't tell what you're thinking," he pouted again, jokingly. Your heart did a double take, and you curled your hands into fists - why the hell is he being so adorable?

"Look, um... So, actually... I was really thinking about this and... I - I think I never fully realised how important this whole ... thing we had ... was for me," he confessed, rather awkwardly. "I guess it only hit me when I found my thoughts trailing back to you constantly... but every time, I just somehow took for granted that even if we're not talking now that things aren't really over, you know? It's stupid, I'm awa-"

"...too," you mumbled, shyly.

to this, Rin gave you a confused look

"Huh?"

"I said, I said that I felt like that too - the taking for granted part, it was the same for me... I thought I wasn't bothered that you weren't in my life anymore, but that wasn't the case at all... I wasn't really bothered because I never really actually thought I'd lost you"

The knot in your throat was making it more difficult for you to breathe, and only made you acutely aware of how hard you were attempting to contain your feelings

"But now..." your voice cracked. "I'm so relieved to see you, to talk to you and to feel so at ease in your presence... I don't..." you felt your resolve wavering. Maybe you did want to let your tears fall and open your heart entirely to him. The fear that had accumulated in the pit of your stomach was pushing you to do everything it took - you knew you couldn't be able to take it if he left again.

"I don't... want to lose you again..." you hardly enunciated, your voice strained, your eyes stuck to the floor.

Rin had been watching you in awe the entire time. He was unsure whether he should be confused, surprised, happy or annoyed, but his gaze on you held a certain tenderness, untouched by the plethora of emotions going through his head.

"Y/n, look at me," his serious tone almost made your heart stop. Feeling tears, your eyes darted in every other direction, trying to avert them from falling.

"If you'd looked at me, you'd have noticed that you and I are both in the same boat" he chuckled. "You're not the only one worked up over this. Seeing you today... and especially hearing what you had to say..." he stopped, trying to find his next words. "Sigh... God, I must have been insane to cast you aside like that- who does such a thing to someone who makes their heart do the things mine is doing right now?" His gaze took on an intense air.

"Y/n, let's start again."