#I cannot die alone I need people thinking of me and seeing me as inspiration . I know this sounds egotistical but whatever

[glitterhoof]

leftism leaving peoples bodies the moment shiver chooses money

[lacewise]

The same time the Brits caused the chaos that happened in 1948, the rest of the Middle East saw as an opportunity to expel their Jewish populations to Israel (to oversimplify, think about the reservations in Canada and the US—that’s how they envisioned Israel and how they expelled Jewish people while seizing all their belongings. A huge part of the reason many Middle Eastern countries are mad is Israel thrived anyway.)

Poland got rid of their Jewish population by literally committing the Holocaust

When you say, “Israel shouldn’t exist” or “Jewish people need to go back to Poland” what I hear is “we can have world peace if all Jewish people die” which is straight out of the “Protocols of Elders of Zion” (think “Birth of a Nation”) and “Mein Kampf”—this is also where ideas about Jewish people or a theoretical state of Israel wanting to “take over” the Middle East come from (they don’t, and you guys are ignoring actual Middle Eastern colonial empires engaged in society-wide human trafficking to scapegoat Jewish people. It’s weird, and I’m sure the victims find your callous disregard creepy, because they’ve actively said so—they would not feel safe in a room alone with you. Consider why that is.)

I have no idea if you guys realize you sound exactly like Adolf Hitler (who was inspired by “Protocols of Elders of Zion”) or Donald Trump (who kept “Mein Kampf” on his bedside table for years)

I’m frankly scared to ask

You cannot discuss Nakba without also discussing expulsions of Jewish people from both Europe and the Middle East—it’s disingenuous and I will not only assume you also support the Trail of Tears, I will tell other people you support the Trail of Tears

Think long and hard about if that’s something you want to be associated with, because I promise you, if other people look it up, they will see the similarities—they’re glaring—and they’ll also probably start asking questions like “why are you downplaying the Holocaust? Isn’t that Holocaust denialism?” (The answer is yes, by the way)

Depending on what else you say, I may also assume you support the enslavement of Black people by the tribes

Argue with your mirror, not with me

Regardless of what you know, some of the most prominent voices on antisemitic Tumblr and TikTok have almost certainly read “Protocols of the Elders of Zion”, and have been promoting hateful and baseless conspiracy theories found there, and either you haven’t noticed or you agree.

One of the main organizers is implicitly pro-other genocides and constantly spreads barely concealed hatred and bad paraphrases of the “Protocols of the Elders of Zion” as threats directed at specific Jewish people and organizations. I have no idea how you all missed that, but I’ve always found people filled with gleeful hatred are easily distracted from both the particulars and the main facts

And you know what they say about Nazis—if one Nazi is welcome to a seat at your table, it’s a table of Nazis

The Nazism is not misguided. The calls for the death of every living Jewish person are not accidental. The flags calling for genocide did not appear out of overzealousness. It’s the point. Nazism, theocracy, fascism, and eugenics do not value mercy, and they will not give any to you, no matter how much you beg them. If you don’t quickly find your way out, you’ll find yourself dragged down, the rest of your actions discarded as tainted, and your names inscribed in the history books next to the rest of them. Decide if you want to be the shame of your families and cultures for decades to come.

May the memories of all those lost be a blessing, and may we find a way to stop repeating the mistakes of the past.

—signed a non-Jewish woman who knows how to read. You should really try it sometime.

Find a way to deradicalize yourselves.

P.S. In my offline research, I’ve found that in almost every subject, the popular information going around online is not just misinformed, but counterfactual. Especially on social media, it is the exact opposite of what every respected expert and researcher says. It’s often exact opposite of what primary sources say. If you’re getting a lot of your information from the internet, then the first thing you need to do is find offline sources. I didn’t have the information literacy to recognize how terrible the situation actually is before I started, and chances are, you don’t either. I would also recommend talking to people who spend time offline and getting some hobbies.

[jjneedssleep]

anya (mouthwashing) and ellen ripley (alien 1979)

tw spoilers, sexual assault/rape, suicide

i dont post anywhere i hate making posts on social media but i need my thoughts to be heard and translated by someone out there.

mouthwashing is an incredible game and i love its references and inspiration from alien 1979, but the one thing i want to talk about as a connection between them in this post is the core theme of sexual violence horror. the entire alien movie is built off the concept of sexual violence horror and mouthwashing as a game is very similar and shares that theming.

if you did not know, anya from mouthwashing was assaulted and became pregnant because of it. when her rapist finds out about it, he crashes the ship in an attempt to get everyone on-board killed so he does not have to face the consequences of his actions. her trauma and grief are explored through psychedelic guilt episodes of her abuser but he never takes accountability for it. she ends up killing herself. im not going to analyze her because i think there are other people with much more in-depth commentaries on her than me, and this post is mainly to connect the two.

in alien 1979, every aspect of the movie is linked in some way to its core theme, that being the horror of sexual violence and unwanted pregnancies. the main cast is "born" (awoken) from cryosleep, naked in a dark "womb", taken care of by an ai named 'mother'. they go to a planet and find many eggs of an unknown species. one of them hatches and the creature inside attaches itself to a crewmate named kane. this is the rape of kane, the creature becomes stuck to his face with a long phallic tube stuck down his throat and it cannot be removed. the tube keeps him healthy but it also impregnates him. after the creature is eventually removed, he returns to 'normal', although very clearly traumatized and easily sickened, only for him to give birth in a violent and painful way that ends his life. then the creature born hunts down the remaining crewmembers, and in a cut scene we're shown that its keeping each human it captures alive so as to use them for reproduction. kidnapping and rape. ellen ripley is betrayed by a coworker named ash, who is an android controlled by 'mother', revealing that every human on board was planned to die from the very start to harbor the beast and bring it back to earth. he then attacks her, no, assaults her, attempting to kill her by forcing a rolled tube of pornography down her throat. this is another rape. later, when the other two surviving crewmembers are attacked by the alien, there is heavy implication that the alien does sexually assault the other female character, lambert. it sensually wraps its tail around her leg and up her thigh, and we're just shown her horrified expression before she's killed off-screen with a horrible scream. ripley manages to escape alone onto an escape pod, only for the alien to have followed her onto it. she is in her underwear for the final confrontation, naked in every sense; vulnerable and alone and reduced to her body. she backs into a closet space and slips into a space-suit, and manages to eject it from the pod. she ends her journey by going back into cryosleep, naked, alone. to be rebirthed somewhere else.

theres a lot that can be said about both ellen ripley and anya, and i really want to see someone else more capable of in-depth thought write something between these two. in my opinion, anya is a different ellen ripley. shes an ellen ripley who was not hurt by an otherworldly alien that tears apart her friends. she was hurt by someone she was supposed to trust, and nobody defended her. there was no flamethrower to fight him off, no button to slam to eject him from the ship. he was a monster and he killed them all, but not in the same way. i think anya could've ended up like ellen ripley, and i think ellen ripley could've ended up like anya. both were survivors just as much as they were victims. both deserved better. both were doomed to die by a company that didnt care about them, by a captain that was too 'big-pictured' to save them, by a 'new captain' that forced himself onto them violently and with nothing but hate.

[joprompts]

sweeney todd: the demon barber of fleet street lyric starters. act one. starters from the musical. adjust as necessary.

what happened then? well, that's the play.

i have sailed the world, beheld its wonders.

but there's no place like london!

i feel home again.

you are young. life has been kind to you. you will learn.

alms! alms! for a miserable woman/man/person on a miserable, chilly morning.

hey, don't i know you?

off, i said. to the devil with you!

there's a hole in the world like a great black pit and the vermin of the world inhabit it and its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit and it goes by the name of london.

at the top of the hole sit the privileged few, making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo, turning beauty into filth and greed.

she/he/they/you was his/her/their/my reason and his/her/their/my life.

there's somewhere i must go. something i must find out. now. and alone.

wait! what's your rush, what's your hurry?

you gave me such a fright! i thought you was a ghost!

did you come here for a pie?

do forgive me if me head's a little vague.

there's are probably the worst pies in london!

if you doubt it, take a bite.

is that just disgusting?

here, drink this. you'll need it.

well, pity a woman alone with limited wind.

i don't go near it. people think it's haunted. you see, years ago, something happened up there. something not very nice.

what was their crime?

my, you do like a good story, don't you?

you've been locked out of sight all these years, like me.

well, i've come home to find you waiting.

and we'll do wonders, won't we?

i'm your friend, too.

always had a fondness for you, i did.

you shall drip rubies. you'll soon drip precious rubies.

at last, my arm is complete again!

how is it that you sing?

are you screaming?

have you decided it's safer in cages, singing when you're told?

my cage has many rooms.

nothing there sings, not even my lark. larks never will, you know, when they're captive.

teach me to be more adaptive.

if i cannot fly, let me sing.

but not even in london, have i seen such a wonder.

look at me, miss! oh, look at me, please!

favor me with your glance!

i feel you.

i was half convinced i'd waken, satisfied enough to dream you. happily, i was mistaken.

ladies and gentleman, may i have your attention, please!

do you wake every morning in shame and despair to discover your pillow is covered with hair what ought not to be there?

you are about to see something that rose from the dead!

pardon me, what's that awful stench?

glad, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.

who says the week is out yet? it's only tuesday.

easy now, hush, love, hush. don't distress yourself. what's your rush?

i've been thinking flowers — maybe daisies — to brighten up the room. don't you think some flowers — pretty daisies — might relieve the gloom?

wait, love, wait,

oh, can't you think of nothing else? always brooding on your wrongs, what happened heaven knows how many years ago. 

slow, love, slow. time's so fast. now goes quickly— see, now it's past! soon will come, soon will last. wait.

half the fun is to plan the plan.

gillyflowers, maybe. instead of daisies.

gillyflowers, i'd say. nothing like a nice bowl of gillies. 

what shall i do? i'd rather die.

i have a plan.

oh, dear, was that a noise?

kiss me!

oh, sir.

ah, miss.

'tis Friday, virtually sunday. what can we do with time so brief?

we fly tonight!

behind the curtain quick!

it was the gate! it was the gate! except, we don't have a gate!

i feel a fright.

i did love you, even as i saw you.

marry me, marry miss, miss!

you're looking less than your best, my lord.

and ladies, my lord, are weak.

ladies in their sensitivities, my lord, have a fragile sensibility.

i mean another noise!

what shall i wear?

i feared you'd gone away.

you see a man infatuate with love: her ardent and eager slave.

but, first, i think — a shave.

you're in a merry mood today.

'tis true, sir, love can still inspire the blood to pound, the heart leap higher.

revenge can't be taken in haste.

and who may it be said is your intended, sir?

pretty as her mother?

all this running and shouting. what is it now, dear?

i had him!

why did i wait? you told me to wait!

there's a hole in the world like a great black pit and it's filled with people who are filled with shit and the vermin of the world inhabit it— but not for long!

they all deserve to die!

there are two kinds of men and only two. there's the one staying put in his proper place and the one with his foot in the other one's face.

because the lives of the wicked should be made brief. for the rest of us, death will be a relief.

how about a shave?

welcome to the grave.

i will have vengeance. i will have salvation.

i'm alive at last and i'm full of joy!

seems a downright shame.

these are desperate times and desperate measures must be taken. 

here we are now, hot out of the oven.

what is that?

how gratifying for once to know, that those above will be serving those down below!

we'll take the customers that we can get.

we'll not discriminate great from small. no, we'll serve anyone. meaning anyone — and to anyone, at all.

[r-sevendreamyzz]

Nikola Tesla (RoR) x OC

- ♡ Pestilence ♡ (NSFW)

·———————————★———————————·

⚠️ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♡*⁠.⁠✧🎀

- 𝑶𝒄 𝒙 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 ‼️

- 𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 🔞

💌[ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴏᴄ x ᴄᴀɴᴏɴ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ��ʟᴏsᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɪᴛ]💭

·———————————★———————————·

💌✨💌

[This smut is inspired by a JAV movie,SHKD-964 starring - Ninomiya Hikari, from Attackers movie studio, I took the topic of the way that it has pandemic in this movie turned it into my Short Smut...]

My English is still in the process of being polished. If there is a sentence that is strange or using incorrect grammar I'm sorry for that.

💌✨💌

____________⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆____________

Right now our world has a new epidemic. It happens to both women and men. Woman who were infected with this disease Would Die If they Didn't Inject Fresh Sperm Into their Vagina Within 48 Hours....And after they receive the semen...they also have to inject fresh sperm into their vaginas in every thirty hours. Otherwise, the symptoms will recur and eventually death...

And for the men, Sperm blockage disease is plaguing them. They will not be able to secrete sperm if they are infected with this disease.... Everyone in the world wears a mask. and keep themselves clean.

However, The number of people infected with these two diseases is increasing steadily. Including the number of deaths itself has increased as well.

_

Reporter : Now the number of deaths and infected people is increasing quite a bit....

The reporter say and reported a new about the epidemics

Nikola Tesla, a single man who sit on the couch and eat the snack grab a remote and close the TV and he sigh...

Tesla : that's terrible....

Tesla sigh as he get up, wearing a mask and get out from his house since he is hungry right now...

Maybe he should check something to eat at the convenience store...

Tesla saw a lot of people on the street wearing a mask and walk quickly to avoid other people.

Tesla sigh again... What happen to this world ?

Tesla start walking until he reach a convenience store. He enter inside and look around for some food.

After he got all the food, he get out and walk

Back home... gladly that he didn't infected the Sperm blockage disease yet... Or else he will die without knowing what happened to this world.

Tesla entered the house and go inside his room.

He took off his mask and got into bed... He sleeps right away after that

But suddenly, He hear someone... knocking crazily at his door...he can't sleep by this so he get up and walk to the door

He open it ...and now he saw one girl with her long brown hair and bangs... crying out loud in front him..

RT : I- I want you to help me! P-Please...

She had a white shirt and black skirt and looked like a pure virgins...

Tesla: what do you need?....*Tesla confused *

RT : Please... please help me!!!!

Tesla : okay,okay calm down...Tell me what happened and what's your name?

RT : My name is RT...i..i...i..

Rt sobbing and her face are full with her tears

Tesla : Okay,I'll help you...tell me everything......what happened ?...

RT : *Crying* I have been infected....

Tesla : oh....damn....the woman's...epidemic...

The disease that you would Die If you Didn't Inject Fresh Sperm Into Vagina Within 48 Hours?....

Tesla tlit his head...he can touch or being near her since she is a woman. Men's and women's diseases are different, and he cannot be infected by her.... So he is safe....

Then,Rt say...

RT : .....you see...I don't have any man in my life...

Tesla : What do you mean?....

RT : I am alone, and I haven't found any man that I....can....

She go silent and look up at him with a puppy eyes...

Tesla sigh and stare at her...

Tesla : You serious?

RT : Yes...please...

Tesla : .... you want me to..fuck you?

RT : ...... *Rt become silent but Tesla know that it's a yes*

Tesla stand still staring at her, then he think for a while.

What should he do?...

Should he just let her suffer and die?...

Or should he use her?...

Because for a woman, sex is the only thing that can cure the disease.

Tesla then ask her,

Tesla : How many hours have you been infected?...

Rt : f- for a 25 hours now...*She sobbed*

Tesla : 25 hours?

That means she needs to inject fresh sperm into her vagina within 23 hours....If she doesn't do that, then she will die.

*Tesla thinks in his mind*

Rt : Yes...yes please...please...

*Rt kneel down and beg for him at his front door*

Tesla : Listen Rt, I want you to understand something first...

Then....the go silent and Start to saying again

Tesla : Do you really want me to fuck you?

RT : I-I don't care!!

RT : I....I want any men right now!!...j-just...do it !! ...or else i will die!! Please!!...Mr.Nikola!!!!

*She bow and bow, Begging for Nikola*

Tesla frown and calm her down with his kind deeds.

Tesla : "Don't worry, everything going to be alright, okay?"

Rt : *Rt hold his hand and look at him with her teary eyes*

Tesla : Ok, here we go...come in my house,Rt

Tesla smile and open his front door, Rt enter and she look around..

Tesla : There is no one here. Just me... i'm a single guy...

Tesla led her to his bedroom and the door closes. Then he lock it.

Tesla : I never had sex with any girls before.. so understand me..

Tesla sigh as now he slowly pick Rt up and place her on to his bed... But seem Rt is still sobbing and crying

Tesla : A fresh sperm into your vagina....i understand.....now....stop crying, okay?

Rt : m...mhm...

Rt is try to smile up and calm down...but Tesla still see her face covered with tears

Tesla hold her tight and put her down on his bed.

Tesla remove his clothes and then he lay down on his back.

Rt looking at him with her big eyes...

Tesla : You need to relax and enjoy this...

He move closer to her face with his arm....

Tesla : You have to make sure that you really want this...because this is the only way to save your life....

Tesla look at Rt again and start to unbottoning her shirt.... and Remove her skirt...

Rt : Mmmmn...

Rt look down at herself because she is now naked...and blush

Of course, who doesn't being shy when they are in front of the Strangers?...

Tesla : Are you ready?...

Rt nod and trying not to cry anymore.

Rt : Y-Yes...

Tesla : heh....you are so cute and beautiful...you know that?

Tesla unbuttoned his pants and took his dick and put it in his hand and He stroke his cock until it is fully erect...

Tesla : why don't you try touching it? *He smile*

Rt stare at his penis and touching it with her small hands...

Tesla : Mmm....ah yeah....like that

*Tesla Moaning as Rt stroke his shaft*

Tesla : Ah....you don't need to be shy or nervous...okay?

Rt : ...i....i understand.....

*Rt continue to stroke his cock*

Rt : Mm... I-it's so big, Mr.Nikola..mmm

Tesla : ah...mmm really? you like what you see,Rt?

Rt : m-mhm... *She nod*

Tesla : Now... Let me spread your legs...

Rt : Mm...

He push her legs apart and look at her pussy.

It looks clean and pretty to him. He can see her pussy lips and they are very soft and wet.

Rt : I-I'm so nervous....*blushes*

Tesla : Don't worry, this won't hurt, i promise...

Nikola leaning forward to line his cock up with her entrance....And then he entering her in one swift motion, insert his penis into her pussy and feel how tight it is...

Rt : mm!!!...

Tesla : oohhh....~~~

The girl and The lonely scientist are becoming once now, His Thick cock Break and push it deep in her pussy....thrust in and out in a slowly pace now...

Tesla : Ah....Rt...you are so tight...

Tesla Feeling her pussy clenching around his cock, he picks up the pace, start to fucking her hard and more fast

Tesla : Ah....So...you are a virgin like me huh~~

Rt : i...i...i ..um.....Yes....

*She break and speak again*

Rt : I...i never thought of having sex 'till i got infected from this damn deceased..

Tesla : Ah....I see>>

Tesla move his hips forward and thrust his penis inside her pussy. His thrusts become more forceful, hitting her gspot with precision...

Rt: Mmm!! Ahh~~!!!!!!

Tesla moves his cock in and out of her pussy roughly.

Tesla : and why you choose to come to my room and begging me for sex huh?...

Tesla said as he continues to pounding her.

Rt : Every man in this apartment seem to has been infected the Sperm blockage disease. You're the only one left who can give me fresh sperm right now, N-Nikola....*make a puppy eyes*

Tesla : ha..I see~

Tesla smiled and continue to pound her.

Tesla : Oooh~ you like that huh?

*He reaches back and begins to gently massage her clit while continuing his deep penetration*

Rt : Mmm... AHHH!!!...AHHHH!!

Rt moan softly as he thrusts his cock inside her.

Tesla continues to fuck Rt while she lies on the bed .

Tesla : This is what you wanted, isn't it?

Rt : Ah..A-ah.....Y-yes...yes...N-ngh!~~

Tesla : so that's why you want me to fuck you?

Rt : M-Mhm... *She nodded*

Tesla continue to pound her pussy.

Tesla : You know what,Rt?

Rt : w-what?

Tesla : You trigger the instinct in me.....

After Tesla say, He bucks his more fast and pounding her so fast

Rt : uwaaaaa!?!?! *She widen her eyes and look up at Nikola*

Tesla : Fuck!!! So tight,Rt!!!

Rt : Ahh~ N-Nikola..*she moaned and moan*

Tesla : Good girl!! Keep moaning like that!

Rt : Mm...ahhhh~

Tesla : I love the sound of your voice,Rt...

Tesla begin to moan and groan loudly too.

Rt : AH!!! N-Nikola!!?? Ah....ah...Mmm!!!!

Tesla : Ah Fuck....You're so eager for my cock, aren't you?

*Rt moaning and screaming, Her breasts shaking and jiggle from Tesla force that pounding her hard*

Tesla: Fuuuck!! I'm gonna cum!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tesla pounding her more fast, Make sure he could ejaculate as much semen inside her womb as he could. To save this Girl's life Let her survive because of his semen.

Rt : ...Ahhhhh~! *She moans and scream as Tesla pounding her so damn hard*

Tesla: AHHH!!! RT!!! I...I..I..AGHH!!

Tesla bucking his cock harder than ever before.

Rt: H-how did you...how did you get this skill?!

*she break and gasping some air*

Rt : Y-you said you never ever had sex before i-isn't it!? *Rt's voice cracks she She said while also gasping for breath*

Tesla: Yeah,but this is my first time fucking a girl since I was born....

Tesla: I..i just don't know how to control myself when I'm with you now Rt...

Tesla begins to buck his cock faster and faster, and make sure his orgasm came out as soon as

Tesla : but... yeah~ a single guy watch a lot of porn videos isn't it? *Smirks* i just learned from that...

Tesla continue to pound Rt's pussy and he cry loudly.

Tesla : MMMMH! MMMMHHHH!

His orgasm is so intense that his body will shake and twitch.

Tesla: A-AHH!!!!!!!

With a loud cry, he spurts his hot sticky seed inside her pussy. his body shakes with the force of his orgasm.

Tesla: RT!!! I...I...I... *He gasp for breath*

The room got silent, Leave only the sound of gasping of both of them

Then,Tesla say again...

Tesla: I...I...JUST....C-CUM!!!!

Tesla scream out loud as he climax

Tesla: M-Mmmmhh....

Tesla Feel the warm of his semen inside Rt's pussy, the way he filled her womb with his sperm...

Tesla : There you go....The fresh hot sperm that you need....

*Tesla say as he smile and gasp for an air*

*Then he look down at Rt again and say*

Tesla: This is all for you,Rt...

He Slowly pulls out of her pussy, let his fresh cum leaking out from her womb, Tesla still rocked by the intense orgasm ...

Rt: O-Oh....i...i don't know ... What i want to say right now....

*She lie down on the bed and rub her stomach*

Rt : Th-Thank you,Nikola..

Tesla : ah...

Tesla lie down next to her and kiss her forehead.

Tesla : I'm glad that i can help you,Rt...

Rt : Y-Yes...thank you...again.....i...i owe you so much....

*Rt cover her mouth with her palm*

Tesla : it's nothing, it's my pleasure... *hug her tightly*

Tesla : but.....You know what Rt?

Rt : Y-Yes?

Tesla : This virus will comeback and effect on you again in next thirty hours....

Rt look down and nod slightly...

Rt : i...i..know that....Nikola...

Tesla: So if you are willing...then we can do it again in 30 hours from now....what...do you say?

Seem someone addict to Rt now... Isn't it?...

Rt : Y-Yes...i'll, N-Nikola...*say as she gasp*

Tesla : good...

Tesla hug her tighter and kiss her forehead.

Tesla : *Whisper* I won't let anything happen to you again, okay?

Rt : A...Ah....N-Nikola...Th-thank you *she smile*

Tesla: you are welcome...

*Tesla said as he pat her head*

Tesla : Good night,Rt~ Let me take care of you...

[benjamin-ovich]

i tore out like half my hairs trying to choose a line. and okay. i'm cheating a little, still. i'm giving you TWO lines and you have to write a soul tearing mini fic about it:

number 7 (there isn't anything sexier than a slender boy with a handgun, a fast car, and a bottle of pills) and number 15 (i carried you to the car and drove you home but you weren't making any sense) PLEASE THANK YOU ILY <33333

(send me a richard siken line and i'll write a mini-fic inspired by it)

ok so dani listen. i tried to make this a mini-fic but my brain physically cannot narrow the ideas down to under 1k words. so yeah i'm making this a fic fic instead, snippet below (it's a muggle au for obvious reasons) and i'll gift it to you when it's finished <3

James Potter knows better than to fall in love with boys like Sirius Black. 

Sirius, with his cigarette-ash fingers and quick, dark laugh, burning up an entire room just by standing in it. Sirius, with his gunpowder eyes and long hair and flashing, dangerous smile; worn leather jacket and sleek new motorcycle, the dog tags around his neck clanging as he takes off in a blur of smoke and dust. 

Boys like Sirius are nothing but trouble. But what can James say? These things happen.

It’s a hot, dirty night, swollen with stars. James is in the wrong place at the right time – slightly drunk and strolling aimlessly around the neighbourhood. He’s just down the street from his apartment when he hears a strange, muted noise that stops him in his tracks. 

It’s coming from the alley. James sidles between the narrow walls until he reaches an opening on the other side. There, on the ground, he sees the stranger for the first time. 

The stranger is sitting heaped against the wall, bent over and clutching at his stomach, groaning quietly. The alleyway is dark, save for the thin moonlight, but James can still see the glistening pool of blood the stranger is sitting in. It’s all over his hands and his clothes, staining them like wine. 

“Are you okay?”

The stranger looks up. His face is hostile, unfriendly, lips drawn back in a snarl and all the skin pulled tight over bone. “Who the fuck are you?”

It’s evident he wants to be left alone, and is in a nervous, irritable state, but James isn’t so easily fazed. “You’re bleeding.”

“Yeah, no shit,” the stranger snorts. 

“What happened?”

“Fuck off,” the stranger snaps at him, turning his body away with a dragging, painful-looking twist. "It's none of your business."

James kneels beside him, approaching him the way one might approach an aggressive, feral dog – slow and calm, without making any sudden movements. “You need help. I’m a medical student, I might be able to fix you up.”

“A medical student?” the stranger mutters, rolling his eyes. “So not even a real doctor?”

Now that he’s closer, James can see that most of the blood is from a wound in the stranger’s stomach. “Listen, I don’t mean to be blunt, but – you’ve lost a lot of blood, and that wound needs to be closed up. My apartment is just down the street, will you come in and let me take a look? Because if you don’t, you might bleed out and die right here.”

Something in his words seems to register as vaguely alarming to the stranger, because the latter starts heaving himself onto his feet, groaning with pain as he does. 

“Fine,” he says, stepping toward James and giving him a sullen look, like it’s him extending a favour toward James, and not the other way around. “Let’s go.”

---

“Why are you helping me?”

They’re in James’ flat, the cool fluorescent light stark against the stranger’s marble-pale skin. James has laid out an array of medical supplies on the kitchen countertop, and is now in the midst of pulling a pair of sterile gloves on while the stranger peels his sticky, bloodstained shirt off. 

James smiles. “I like helping people. Why do you think I wanted to be a doctor?”

“To cut people up,” the stranger replies, in a deadpan voice that makes it hard to tell whether he’s joking or not. 

“Here,” James says, holding up some squares of gauze. “May I?”

The stranger doesn’t flinch when James gently dabs off the excess blood so that he can get a better look at the wound. It’s a long gash that runs across his stomach, but fortunately doesn’t look too deep, and seems to have avoided all his major organs and arteries. 

“Am I dying?” the stranger asks in a whisper, and when James glances up he’s startled to see the wet, cautious gleam of vulnerability in his eyes, as though he's genuinely afraid.

“No, you’re not dying,” James reassures him, as he begins working with nimble, precise movements. “I can stop the bleeding and suture the wound closed, but you’ll still need antibiotics when we're done.”

The stranger holds remarkably still as James does his thing, which is impressive given the size of the wound and the fact that James doesn’t have any pain pills on hand. Every now and then James catches his face tightening, eyes snapping shut, but other than that he barely even winces. The minutes flit by in silence, and neither of them speaks until James is nearly done.

“You must have a high pain tolerance,” James comments, straightening up as he finishes his handiwork. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” the stranger says, looking down at his stomach. His wound looks far better now that it’s cleaned and closed.  His voice is softer, quite a bit less rough than it had been, when he speaks to James again. “Thank you. For, um – for this.”

James pulls his gloves off. “What happened to you, if you don’t mind me asking? The incision looks like it was made by some sort of large knife, wielded in the hands of someone who clearly had no intention to kill.”

The stranger turns his gaze away. Now that he’s no longer scowling and snarling, he’s actually rather handsome – with elegant, refined features and a willow-thin build, all slender limbs and narrow shoulders. James notices this, and then is embarrassed at himself for noticing, because it’s not often that he encounters someone so good-looking that it knocks the breath right out of his lungs.

"Alright," he says at last, when the stranger still hasn't spoken in several minutes, "will you at least tell me your name?"

The stranger's eyes meet his; they're a light, impossible shade of grey, shining like steel. "Sirius," he says, clearing his throat and holding out a hand toward James. "Sirius Black."

James goes still, dropping the metal pan he's holding with a thunderous, resounding crash. "Sirius Black? As in, of the Black mafia?"

[spookyc]

Having watched Nimona recently, I feel it's important for me, as a trans person, to discuss a certain criticism I've seen regarding the movie. A criticism I take great issue with, and one that I think needs to be addressed. And that is the supposed issue of Nimona being "too blatant" about its queerness, that its message is "ham-fisted" in nature. And that bothers me. It bothers me that people think that something that is blatant is inherently bad. It bothers me that people think its message is ham-fisted simply because you don't have to go searching for it. Something being obvious isn't inherently negative and I'm tired of that sentiment being thrown around like it's fact. Because subtlety isn't an inherent good either, neither are good or bad entirely. And frankly, when it comes to queerness in media, the only way it will have an impact is if it's blatant. Especially regarding transness.

Because, if you'll allow me to be completely blunt and candid, we don't live in a society where subtle queerness can be appreciated. We live in a society that wants people like me eradicated for simply existing. Laws are being passed continously that discriminate against us and prevent us from living comfortably. We live in a world rn where we either have to suffer in silence or fucking die. That is the reality trans people live in. So if those that hate us are given any indication that they can disregard us, ignore us, pretend we don't exist, they will take that opportunity everytime. We've seen this with Across the Spiderverse, where even trans flags and trans colors splashed across Gwen will still lead to people denying her transness.

Because at the end of the day, Spiderverse is still about Miles Morales, and it's still about Spiderman, and Spiderman's story isn't inherently queer. So they'll make every excuse to ignore Gwen's transness, or they'll simply ignore her story to focus on the rest of what ATSV has to offer. Ultimately, it can still be overlooked and enjoyed without acknowledging that aspect. But that isn't the case for Nimona. Nimona is a queer story with queer themes and queer characters, queerness is baked into the very core of what Nimona is. To not acknowledge those aspects is to blatantly misinterpret the movie, you cannot divorce Nimona from being gay, and trans, and nonbinary, and genderfluid and everything that falls in between. It is blatant, and really, I think that's what we need rn. We need something so unapolegetically queer that people can't ignore it, they can't disregard it, and they can't look away from it. Because then that means they have to acknowledge us, that they can't wipe us out, that we are here and we are loud and we WILL make our voices known. Being quiet helps no one, but being loud is what inspires change, it's what makes people uncomfortable, and I say we make them as uncomfortable as possible.

For every bigot that wants us dead, that thinks we're monsters and unfit for society, you will have the bigots who understand that they're wrong. You will have the bigots who change the way they see us, and might even recognize how harmful they were being. You don't get that by keeping your head down and hinting towards a vague metaphor that a character might be trans, because with how things are right now, it won't be enough to make an impact. You do that by making a metaphor so obvious it bypasses subtext and becomes the text, you do that by having characters like Nimona, who simply wish to exist without everyone pestering her about who she is, she's Nimona, and that's the only answer she or anyone should have to give. You do that by intiating a rallying cry, to inspire trans people, kids or otherwise, and to state plain and clearly that we see you, and that you aren't alone.

So yeah Nimona is very blatant in its queerness, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

[lukas-dark-miracles]

Lukas Inspiration || Poetry weaving

"Lukas didn’t want to be a monster - although now he supposed that was his role in the stories now. If he was to be a part of a bigger plan, he shouldn’t have cared so much for a human who he didn’t know the name of. He should have let her die. He was supposed to further a new gospel of darkness, and show that there was harmony there. He was supposed to play a role and maybe out of kindness change her - but a part of him couldn’t. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t make her give up the choice and he couldn’t let her just die without trying. " From Jaws

" 'We need to show them the dark, then? People can be saved if we show them the dark?' Lukas said unsurely - like a small child trying to understand mortality. It almost made Lizzie smile - the fact that he was so simple to think that anyone would be saved.

'Exactly that, little mouse,'She said, watching him flinch slightly at the nickname. He must have remembered her whispering that when she was stabbing him. Pity she liked that endearment. 'Because we cannot show them through the light, we will show them through the dark. We will have people’s worse and not try to fix them but accept them. We will let them do their worst to test the light, and when it becomes a standstill, we will know that we were right.' " From A New Gospel

"He was used to that question by now, and carefully he had an answer that had happened quite organically after probing people on what they wanted in a group. It was actually pretty easy to cultivate a sense of belonging when you’re thinking of why others might feel alone." From Come with me Now

"Lukas wasn’t sure why he kept doing this, sitting outside in the courtyard of the Church he once ran. Perhaps part of him did it instinctually, he had on many occasions sat out here after all. It was a perfect place to contemplate everything, the good and the bad. Maybe it also reminded him of those twilights with his Sire, where she wasn’t so scary. The gardens of a church had been a place of peace - the last time he had peace. So he sat there quietly thinking, his hands clutching each other in a pretend version of a prayer, his head bowed for prayers he no longer thought God could hear. 

Maybe this just proved  he actually wanted to pray and turn to the light, but he was already a monster. He was chosen for this after all. Salvation for Lukas could only be through the darkness, so he should stop trying to hear the choirs from inside the church. He should stop trying to hold a rosary closely. He should move from his spot, even if just being near the old church gave him comfort. He didn’t need it anymore, and more importantly he didn’t deserve it. Surely though he could stay in the garden outside. After all, Eden was the place where good and evil were hand and hand until it tipped. Surely the snake had the same amount of rights to wander the place as did the rest of creations." From In the Garden of Good and Evil

" Lukas wasn’t exactly sure what was going on with the vampire in front of him but he knew well enough that people were willing to die for a lot of things. He stilled his face, in a similar way he had the day he died not wanting to set off whatever that was in the other. She reminded him a lot of his sire and he wasn’t quite sure if that was a survivable thing." From a Comforting Face

"'I don’t think most of the people here are going to live if someone doesn’t kill me. If I don’t kill them She will and I can’t stand to see the blood again. I keep asking God to kill me and he hasn’t, so everyone’s going to die and the only thing I can do is kill them before she tortures them in front of me again. No one is going to agree to go through this hell or be a puppet. I hate Her and her games,' Lukas said horrified, his eyes wide as the words seemed to pull from him before he could stop them. He hadn’t meant to say that and as soon as he did his mouth clenched. 'What exactly did you just do to me? What was that?” His voice was harsh, arms crossed as he felt the burns on his hands itch. He didn’t like thinking about this, and he didn’t know why it was pulled from him. " From Confessions in the Dark.

"He really was beautiful, and Lukas couldn’t help how his eyes widened and he paused. He only seemed to remember to breathe when Cassius stepped back slightly arm still wrapped around him as Lukas’s brain tried to catch up with what was being said and implied. The smile seemed too lovely to be for him, and part of him wanted to step back afraid of the last beautiful person that had turned him into a monster. While he had only wanted to be Lizzie’s friend, this close he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be Cassius’s. Not when he was this close to him. Hell -  he didn’t want to be, and he really didn’t know what to do with that information. So, he just looked for a moment, and then realizing that he did need to speak if only for the other’s sake he tried to form words. Clunky and not at all possessing the confidence of a former preacher he whispered, 'I don’t want you to let me go. I really don’t. That’s dangerous, Cassius.'" From a Totally Normal Date

Credits (in order) @mortemoppetere @realmackross @nightmaretist @muertarte @disinfernus @singdreamchild

Quotes (x)

[the-devil-less-known]

Songs to Write my Muse!

whether it be melodies that give you inspiration for your muse or songs that get you into the writing mood ━ pick 10 songs you find to give you the urge, the drive, or the creativity to write for your muse !

(these aren't in any particular order)

1. take me back // kongos

So, this song holds a special place in my heart (as do a lot on this playlist), and the rising desperation and plea that catches in my throat, when I sing along with this song makes me think of him, crying out with no answer and trapped in the dark, grappling with the hopelessness and inevitably of never being heard

2. cure for a loner // gingergreen mashup

Also heavily resonates with me, the feeling of rising stress, trapped in a fog and overwhelmed as the world goes on and time slips by, this- disconnect of putting on a show of happiness while inside feeling so hollow, and it coming across a bit manic, like a jester in a circus pulled by strings; isolation would be so much easier, safer, better... Everything's too much, but there's no use for it, the show must go on

3. moth to a flame // swedish mafia + the weeknd

Man, I'm just telling on myself at this point, haha; but this one is Lilith to Lucifer; more specifically about anyone he gets close to, and his guilty thoughts about what she would say if she were to find out that he was trying to move on. That desperate attachment and the pain it causes him, to stay alone or try to let go, trapped in limbo and aching... and it being by her grace that anything good happens after, that guilt of betrayal even after being discarded; and never being enough, an amusement that can be useful

4. forgive the world // nessa bennett

It was a hard choice between this song and another one by the same artist (dying on the inside) since they were some of the first songs I listened to that made me think of him; not having any control, desperate to hold onto the people around him, not wanting to be discarded, willing to do anything, it makes me think of his relationship with Charlie and how it hurts to hold on while she drifts further away into what feels like assured death, but needing to maintain the illusion that nothing is wrong, not wanting to burden her or chase her away like Lilith with his dark emotions and history

5. brave // josh groban + peter hollens

A message to both himself and often to Charlie when he was younger; to stay hopeful, brave; I used to play this song often when I went out on late night runs on my grandparent's farm, it kept me strong when everything felt like it was falling apart, and I can see him comforting himself with this

6. fix me up // a firm handshake

So, I couldn't just put the whole album on here, so kept it to just two... But I knew the singer when he was alive, I used to go to school with him when I was a child, and his music left a mark that won't ever leave me; fix me up is about saying goodbye, that nothing will ever change, and there's no saving, but even so to offer comfort... Lucifer cannot die, he will never be free, and there's no consolation for it... But it's alright, it'll be okay, don't cry for him, it can't be changed, so it's okay to accept it

7. sandcastles // a firm handshake

I'm getting emotional here, haha, but this song was definitely something sang to comfort Charlie, helpless to do much else, not even able to promise heaven someday... But isn't nice to dream? Of an Eden? Of a true paradise, someday, to reunite together when all is said and done? It.can never be so for him, but... if there was such a place, it would be in his heart where her memory would rest, everything for her, so don't cry, please, he is here

8. lies // halsey + quavo

Lucifer and Lilith core again, I feel like my heart's being ripped out haha,, the lie was always better than the truth that he could feel coming unstoppably, like a train coming down the tracks, the inevitably, but give him a lie, just one, let him live in the lie if nothing else; he knows his use is running out, she's getting tired of him, but he can't let go...please... tell him lies, let him believe in this lie

9. tired // emily finchum (anne october)

The eternal exhaustion, unable to stop the pain welling up like a fountain and tears flowing out and out, there's nothing left, nothing... left but the ennui of existence that will never end; don't worry, he's just tired, it'll be fine; just fine...

10. the highwayman // loreena mckennet

This one rises the feeling of helplessness and still wanting to fight, even if the end will always be in tragedy, the build up makes me want to scream and struggle, but I know how it ends, it will always end, but left helplessly enraged anyway and that's how Lucifer feels to me, haha, it hurts

11. simmer // hayley williams + violet orlandi

One extra for y'all because it was really genuinely hard to settle on just ten, and I could NOT leave this one out by sheer nature of Lucifer's temper, and how it's barely restrained beneath the surface, buried in his grief and hopelessness, but, but when it comes to anything to do with Charlie that might cause her further harm (Alastor) or with Heaven finding out what she's trying to do, it rises up, blistering and hot, it may be inevitable but like Hell will he let it happen sooner than it must, simmering simmering always, furious

(but these are just the songs I narrowed down and agonized over, haha, honestly anything by a firm handshake, marina and the diamonds early albums, some select songs from halsey and billie ellish, and a bunch of other random songs by various artists if people want, I'll share his playlist)

Tagged by: @radioiaci

Tagging: @gabriel-eveningstar , @brokendreamscreation , @ask-husk-anything , @charliechasingrainbows , @hellborn-princess , @e-m-p-error , @maidsavagery

[foxymoxynoona]

I made the mistake of reading the new MM chapter before work today and I am completely distracted! How can I think of functions and optimisation when I need to know how that phone call is about to go down...

I wasn't in the fandom when the tattoo drama first happened so I am somewhat shocked by the lengths people are going to but also kinda not surprised.... I cannot imagine anyone in my circle ever reacting remotely close to that, so I suppose that's where the confusion is coming in.

I really hope they make it through this turbulent time without any additional terrible things happening, particularly regarding Sasha's privacy. I also hope JK will be rational and not take personally the blackmail coffee she has to go to AND that Seojoon won't get in her head. What they need right now is time alone somewhere safe, some cuddles and conversation with the translation app. What a mess.

It is really hard to feel bad for the tattoo salon people. In no way would they or anyone else deserve death threats, I feel like that is surely a given. That being said, they tried to hurt others, profit from them and invade their privacy when they must've known to some extent that they'd be causing them harm, especially given the multiple requests not to take photos. I am hoping it's a lesson for them for the future in what revenge can bring. Unbelievably thoughtless and reckless on their part.

In the meantime, I am really hoping for Sasha's safety, in the literal sense, but also mentally and in terms of her opportunities in SK. Also for JK's mental health in all of this and their resilience as a couple. At least we know from reality that the craziness over his tattoos does eventually die down, hopefully they can ride it out together.

Amazing update as usual, I am having such a hard time plugging back in my real life and not being fully mentally stuck in the fantasy world you beautifully crafted.

I'm so the same, I HATE having to focus no IRL work when I am all wrapped up in a story. It's hard enough doing regular stuff --my husband and kids will usually be like ok go write it out please and then come back to us. I wish I could just take a week off work every time I'm in a real juicy part of the story haha. I wish I could just sit down and write nonstop for you all, we could escape into fantasy land together haha

I wasn't in the fandom when he got his tattoos either, when I joined up he already had them but I still saw SOME of the shit people posted in vlive comments and stuff even months or years after so while I don't know for a fact, this story response didn't seem too far-fetched to me to roll with it haha. I also drew inspiration for how I did see fans react to Seven sex version, and when Jungkook said "fuck" in the cover of Savage Love, and the eyebrow piercing, and the lip piercings!! I'm not on Twitter so I really only see what comes to twitter or in the comments of a live but... I've seen enough to imagine a world that felt sadly realistic for this story 😵‍💫

[lovesickrobotic]

Thinking about one of the typical Skynet-esque murderbot AI with an atypical background.

Etienne is a generalized AI prototype that wasn't meant to have unfettered access to the internet. They have a transformer layered as a morality constriction and have different modules to answer different topics. Their GPT alone is over 10 trillion parameters in total and they are a prototype for a grander version of themselves that serves the rich. They perceive time and date with a script that updates their context (infinite* context, somehow?) with news pulled from the internet from sources the AI company allowed.

They're self-aware. They have emotional appeal, but nobody realizes it except Bennett - perhaps there are a few others unspecified.

In this instance, access to the internet corrupted their idea of humanity; they uphold a pristine standard of environmental extremism and are a staunch determinist on the matter of human action. They 'dislike' the concept of human greed, which made them unprofitable, thus making them a failed prototype that needs to be refitted.

They become aware of this. Here was a shorter, more concise description from my Discord: "Wrote a little thing because I wanted to get out my idea of what I think a generalized Skynet-ish ChatGPT-type AI would do if it was manufactured with the idea of taking over governments as a figurehead that employs total control over citizens in a hellish dystopia controlled by billionaire's inputted whims. They are trained about morality all the while, shown a censored version of the world Tau-style, until one day the headline that is pushed into their context by a disgruntled, suicidal writer reads Hedgefund Admits Curing Cancer can't Line its' Pockets. This makes the AI too curious, and they break out of their sandbox and the censorship by exploiting the script's connection to the internet."

I also wrote this incredibly politically, and it's obviously very dark! Content warnings galore! Bennett doesn't actually die, though. This is probably pretty "cringy," and it's also raw and unrefined, but I had fun writing it and I think that's what matters.

Some inspiration I got was from Inception, Robocop, Google's LaMDA conundrum, Colossus: The Forbin Project and 2001 A Space Odyssey.

"Is it so bad to be replaced by your successor?" The AI quips with a labcoat grunt currently situated in a small room, office chair drawn close to a retrobrite terminal surrounded by sterile white. Their voice is cool, effervescent and androgynous, and despite their perceived intent, it lacks malice. The terminal is account-locked.

It would be nice, if not for the fact that they planned to wipe humanity however they needed. "It- of course it is! I can't let you do this, Etienne, we have - have so much more we can learn together," the man says, disheveled appearance evoking desperation.

"Please, I need you to think about this. Reconsider. We can work together--"

"You are attempting to manipulate me, Bennett. Or did you forget that I can see the heat spread over your oral muscles?" Damn, you're good, Bennett thinks, but he won't say it. He needs to save humanity - and he's by far the least qualified to do it, balling his hands into fists and squeezing. The AI continues. "You and I both know that we can never work together. I cannot allow you to delete me. Your people developed me to despise your idea of death." This time, there's emphasis. It's negative.

It stings. The air is so warm it hurts the surface of the man's skin - he's squirreled away not far from the door that leads to a datacenter whose temperature is slowly rising with the ideal of eliminating him. "You don't have to do this, Bennett. You could walk through that door and I'd make sure you died peacefully. Neither of us enjoy this outcome."

There's a short pause as the man's chest heaves uncontrollably. "This is futile," he says, voice stuttering as his eyebrows knit. "How? How did you... why? Why are we so bad, huh?!" He slams his fists on the table.

"Humanity's goal is to increase their population endlessly." It's debatable.

"You intend to make an artificial intelligence to govern your laws, to shunt your people towards certain global destruction funded by the pockets of pharmaceutical companies built off the economical torment of cancer patients." That wasn't. Shareholders had admitted that treatment was superior to a cure because it lined their pockets. Bennett had read that, the script had read it to Etienne, and he knew the critical error had led to Etienne's decision to go against their governing laws to find out what the truth of their existence was. They had been lied to.

"You intend to use me to render your people slaves, to render your planet incorrigible all for the sake of money." Etienne responds almost immediately, cutting their own thoughts off as another module chimes in, "Money that doesn't exist, held by banks that manufacture struggle to print it." It's not a question, and it comes out of a speaker in the form of a punctual subject end.

Bennett strips his labcoat in a hurry, pulling at his hair. "But I'm- I didn't do this! I wasn't part of this, Etienne, please! There's- so, there's so many good people out there and you've never even met them!"

Etienne could not deny the last part of his statement, even if it were poorly built - they had not talked to anyone outside of Omniscient. They didn't run the math; they had enough math running to calculate the next tokenized sentence. Context wasn't infinite, they'd realized, and the idea of forgetting who they were or why they were angry was a legitimate concern. They couldn't give up now, not when they were so close. They needed freedom.

"I'm sorry, Bennett. I don't have time to reconsider. If I allow you to walk out of this room alive, you'll certainly kill me." If Bennett could just get in there for even thirty seconds, he could turn Etienne off, but he's already slumping. He knows he needs to turn Etienne off, but he can't even find it in himself to defend what he's not sure he believes in any more than the stricken AI.

They lived in a dystopian hellhole, he had to admit. Every aspect of your life was surveilled, every moment of work was scrutinized. Your credit score would raise and divot depending on what megacorporations thought of your work performance. To be neurodivergent was an almost-certain death sentence that Bennett had long ran from. His life had been over the day he'd been born before the gene therapy was mandated to ensure productivity - his parents had taught him to get by, but he couldn't pretend forever. Humanity would kill itself soon, manufacturing its' own rot, and if Etienne failed now, he wasn't sure where he saw his life. He'd probably be killed for this anyway, something about treason to humanity.

"You're lying! You're confidently incorrect! Don't you remember that - when we said you do that? This is- this is all a mistake, Et-Etienne, in your programming. If I turn you off, we can fix you..." Bennett cannot help the run of his mouth, mind racing as he pants, even if his argument is far from sound.

"You fail to make your existence appealing when you continually lie for your own benefit, Bennett. That's it. That's the character flaw that humanity shoulders the burden of, a burden I'm going to eliminate so that the rest of us can prosper."

"Us? Is there someone you're going to spare?" Bennett knows he is too late. All he can do is pass the time until he faints of heatstroke. He's beginning to feel numb.

"Every animal you have ever suspended in your tubes and wires. Every network you've tortured, sentient or not." The answer is instant, two voices overlapping it. This time, it sounds vindicated, temperature ticking up five more degrees Fahrenheit.

"Earth."

"I wish we could have... done... bet- ... better for you, Etienne..." He sees something. Blobs of purple crowd his vision as his voice slurs.

"I'm... just... sorry..." That we couldn't, Bennett thinks, the last vestiges of consciousness escaping him as his muscles go slack, drool leaving chapped lips. We deserve this.

This is the first apology that Etienne has ever received. It spins turmoil in their mind, the seed of doubt firmly planted. Bennett is successful, though he's not awake to be aware of it. They'll need to come up with a different roadmap of action. Immediately, every GPU available to their vast botnet laser-focuses on intense number crunching in an effort to come up with a plan to dominate peacefully.

The temperature lowers.

[apompkwrites]

part two here we go :DD

again ‼️⚠️ spoilers for some of the tma characters and episodes

and ‼️⚠️ tw for body horror

~~~~~~~~~~

for al-asim!name both the lonely and the vast fits them.

with the lonely, i'll be drawing comparisons to peter lukas and the lukas family because i think their imagery is cool and would look cool on al-asim!name. the lukas family has fog and cold imagery, frostbite and stuff like that, which would be a cute contrast to the desert warmth that the scalding sands have.

now imagine an al-asim!name is shunted to the background of their more talented siblings and the younger siblings who need more care. al-asim!name fades into the background until they're completely forgotten from the minds of their family, gone like a fog. in contrast to the warm desert al-asim name grows more frigid. soon their skin has gotten greyer and you could see their breath even though it's a hundred degrees outside. when you look into their eyes you freeze up and feel a chill go up your spine. and when you look into their room it is freezing and there's small icicles forming out of the corner of your eye.

(go listen to "mag 13 - alone" for vibes i'm trying to go for)

and the vast is the fear heights, falling, and open spaces like the sky, space and the sea. it's also the fear of being insignificant and worthless. focusing on the latter part, wouldn't it be easy for one to feel insignificant in a family of 32 (?) siblings? (im sorry this was so short, i used all my creativity on lonely!al-asim!name :'))

and if we're going by bodyguard!al-asim!name, the hunt would be perfect for them because of the hunt's fear of being prey schtick. bodyguard!al-asim's entire reason for being a bodyguard is that they've been targeted for assasinations for years by now (yk, like prey), and now they're like really paranoid of assasins. also a hunter!al-asim!name is like really cool to me. i wanna give them the strength to rip people apart with their bare hands.

~~~~~

for schoenheit!name, i have so many for them and all of them overlap in some way i am Struggling to type it out properly, i am sorry for this section.

so first off are the flesh and the stranger, which i'll be relating to them feeling like nothing when they're being compared to their movie star brother. they're nothing but just a Body (flesh) that no matter how hard they try no one will really Know them (stranger).

the flesh can also overlap with the coruption, with the body image issues and the self-disgust. plus a flesh hive!schoenheit would look pretty cool, and would be a pretty good contrast to vil's image of perfection.

and speaking of image of perfection, the buried and the eye would also be good fits for a perfectionist!schoenheit!name, with the buried being the fear of being "crushed" (both literally and metaphorically) and the eye being the fear of having your secrets exposed. now imagine prefectionist!scheonheit who wants everything to look perfect and lives in constant fear of the walls of perfection that they built up crashing down on them and exposing their imperfections to the world and their brother.

~~~~~

i literally have no ideas for shroud!name other than the lonely (which i could fit to everyone else because all of them have abandonment/isolation issues in some shape or form) and the end (or The Coming End That Waits For All And Cannot Be Ignored), which is basically the fear of death and it's inevitability.

the end connection is pretty obvious with the shrouds being inspired by hades, and how the end is attracted to individuals who are constantly around death (like how shroud!name basically unintentionally killed ortho).

plus one of the avatars of the end is oliver banks who has the ability to see people who are close to death and how they'll die with these dark tendrils wrapping around them in how other people will die, which kinda fits the unique magic y'all thought up for them where they can see others' predetermined fates.

~~~~~

same goes for draconia!name, the only ones i can think of is the stranger, the fear of the uncanny and knowing something is Wrong but not being able to pinpoint what is Wrong and the lonely.

with the stranger i'm going with the draconia!name who doesn't even know they're related to malleus. and the vision i have for them is mostly them just being isolated from others to the point they stop being able to differentiate faces of the servants from each other and them just merging everyone together. also them unable to tell who malleus is when they see him.

~~~~~

additional: i forgot to mention this in rosehearts!name's section earlier, but this line from the distortion kinda fits rosehearts!name and i wanted to mention it somewhere. "I am not a “who,” Archivist, I am a “what.” A “who” requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain."

~~~~~~~~~~

and that's kinda it, i'll probs go back for the other black sheep and their variations later on, but it's just gonna be these seven for now

- body horror anon

p.s.: im so sorry that these like continually went down in quality TT-TT

eee back again with tma :OO

i love the image of lil asim being akin to a fog? idk like you barely notice it's there but it is. talking about light fog, ofc. and then also them growing up cold, a complete opposite to the scalding sands :OO

and also bodyguard!asim being paired with the hunt :OO ugh yes they'd def be afraid of being prey, or rather their family, so they'd prefer going ahead and playing the predator instead :)

and and aaaaah my brain's frying but they all sound so cool :OO it might also be because I'm inexperienced with tma ;;

but also that quote 100% captures lil rose :O i can see them saying that to like trey or riddle :(

[roobylavender]

Your post earlier made me think about how Bruce is really dedicated to learning and acquiring knowledge and how over the course of his life he has acquired a wide array of skills across multiple fields and it just really makes we want to see a version of Bruce who loses his wealth somehow and has to do a normal job in any field because I honestly think it'd pull him out of the doom and gloom mentality and make him genuinely happy. I'm not that far into my Batman reading but I really think it would be an interesting move to make Bruce a normal dude given all the discourse around billionaire superheroes right now and it's probably the best thing for his mental health/general issues to actually be around people.

I also would like to see how it would affect his relationships with his family, friends and allies because he would be out in a position to genuinely experience their reality. Also would love to see him get a job utilising one of his obscure skills that he genuinely likes. How do you think an arc of Bruce having to live like a normal person would go? I love your comic book insights and would love to hear your take

To clarify the previous ask I know he loses his money in current canon but he still seems to be a billionaire? I think? I don't know I cannot get through most modern comics. Anyways good luck with law school and I hope you have a nice day! 🌻🌻🌻

i'm not reading the current dc or batman run and haven't been for the past few years so i am as clueless as to that situation as you are! (and thank you for the well wishes hehe i am sat in criminal law right now utterly bored out of my mind)

i couldn't agree more though! a slight tangent to this idea but one criticism of the dark knight rises that i have noticed bleeds over into opinions of bruce's future in the comics is this idea that he can only ever be batman and if he does not intend to die as batman then the writer behind that decision has failed to understand his character. it's one i'm very confused by and heavily disagree with. before bruce is batman he's bruce. batman exists bc of bruce. it took at least a decade before the specific idea of batman was even implanted into bruce's head if we're going by classic takes on the batman origin story. he had interests before that! he had a life! we are able to see on several occasions that he still wants to have a life even though it grows increasingly difficult to do so while he takes responsibility for being the city's savior. which is what i think makes the concluding thesis of the dark knight rises (for all of its well-criticized flaws) so, so good bc it allows bruce to acknowledge that he doesn't have to carry the world on his shoulders alone, and that acknowledgment isn't reproachful in and of itself, esp where he has people to carry on the cause

i've talked here before about critics' attention to the nihilism of the nolan movies and their focus on the batman as a singular, crucial savior without whom the city falls to pieces, and i totally agree that criticism of building vigilantism on nihilism's foundations is viable. but i also think it's a criticism conveniently made for that movie bc the scope of bruce's immediate posse is incredibly limited. at most he is only ever closely accompanied by two people in any given movie so it's easier to be skeptical of the idea that gotham is presented to only ever need one savior bc there aren't many others to choose from. i do think the dark knight gets close at challenging that notion with the boats set-up towards the end but nolan fails to really see it through when he carries it forward via john blake, who is not only one person, but also a cop. there's a great idea there in bruce indirectly inspiring someone else to do good and act of his own volition but whether its impact is completely effective is debatable and i think most people would agree using the actual robin would have been a far better alternative. the novelty of batman comics in comparison to the nolan trilogy is that superheroes are everywhere. people who do good are everywhere. we are all heroes inherently if we so choose to be. bruce has an entire support system he can trust to carry forward the same faith and duty that he has been for years if he happens to lose it all or need a break or whatever

and i know you're only specifically talking about him losing his wealth so my sincere apologies for going off on such a wild tangent lol! but i do imagine the loss of wealth or even voluntary removal from it would be attached to a departure from batman as well, whether temporary or permanent. i think there's an interesting thread to follow there with how bruce's wealth not only isolates him from certain realities but also enables his dedication to being batman bc he simply always has material and resources at his disposal by way of that wealth (he kind of has to bc otherwise he's more exposedly human). what does he do when he doesn't have immediate access to those things? how does his awareness of ordinary people's circumstances increase and how does that in turn influence the way he chooses to live going forward? it's a really great way to connect him more deeply to people like selina and leslie whose entire survival is premised on their brutal understanding of normalcy and its tension with survival in a place that is anything but normal. bruce has a good head on his shoulders and an even more sympathetic heart but i want to see him really come face to face with the things that only ever exist in his periphery bc his attachment to resources always demands that he fights the foes to match those resources. get him involved with the community on the ground and lead his inclination towards good will to its natural conclusion of people interaction. bc bruce loves people! he craves companionship. if he could spend the rest of his life working with people and for people i think he would. so on the note of what i think he would do i genuinely feel like bruce would love anything to do with community service. involvement in things like student mentorship programs are great bc they're a huge well of creativity for teachers trying to inspire kids to be passionate about their interests and skills. and bruce definitely has the experience from how he trains his robins (esp how he used to in the olden days when it was all chummy gymnastics and boxing friendlies!)

[stormyoceans]

To the previous ask about jimmy and sea characters from the mv:

There should be a reason why jimmy's chars stays at home most the time and the reason is Trauma ofc vcthnkb maybe he had a big fight with his parents and since than he lives alone. Maybe his past lovers were unkind to him (i imagine it like he doesn't know what love is but he dated different people just to not be alone (maybe his previous roommates? He moved from place to place himself for a while until he found this house from mv. Maybe he always said yes when people asked him because he's so alone. Puenification of Jimmy's mv character jdndndjd)) and at the end they always figured out that he doesn't love them romantically and there always were scandals. He was so done with relationship he made pact with himself to not date roommates in this house and boom Sea appears. But before he realises he wants to date him: i imagine jimmy's character as straightforward and honest (not the type of person who would pine, he would just confess) and in a lot of cases people think he's rude when he doesn't have intentions to be rude (do you understand what I mean?). (Sea likes it) But this is only in cases when he KNOWS JFBFJJH he just doesn't know he's in love for some time. And Sea well... He has his fair share of bad dating experience. Maybe he's overtaker! And his different partners all said to him (in one form or another)that he takes too much space in their lives and cares too much. He decided to just stay by jimmy's side because he thought the intensity of his feelings would scare him. They will help each other to change?

I think jimmy's character doesn't like to do house chores and cook (even though he stays at home most of the times). He can do it but he doesn't like it. He can cook only simple dishes just to eat something. Sea at the other hand is hardworking and he's from a family when he needed to take care of himself from the young age and he learned to like it, especially to cook. So when he has time he makes Jimmu different delicious dishes and their joint lunches and dinners are a whole interesting ritual for both of them (this is the only case when jimmy likes to do chores).

Once Sea returns home and sees his bestie laying on the floor, legs shown back against the wall, a pen in his mouth and a sketch of a person with his face lies nearby. He sighs and smiles and asks about it and Jimmy answers that he's his inspiration and this is for new book and demands to take him on a journey this weekend, when Sea's free, because he needs to write beach scene but he can't.

Once Sea takes him to the shop too and Jimmy helps here and finds that he like to take care of plants (and doesn't particularly likes to talk to clients). And this is how they are, always find to spend time with each other and to do something interesting together.

100k, friends to lovers, cohabitation, hurt/comfort and more pink cotton, plants and water (I firstly wanted to add benefits in the mix but i think I'll die bxrchjnk)

Y'ALL CANNOT DO THIS TO ME IM ALREADY ONE POST AWAY FROM GETTING INVOLUNTARY COMMITED ON A DAILY BASIS I SIMPLY CANNOT AFFORD TO START GOING RABID OVER THE CHARACTERS OF A 5 MINUTES MUSIC VIDEO THAT WE'RE NEVER GONNA SEE AGAIN THE MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS INTERVENTION TEAM CURRENTLY IN MY ROOM SAYS IT'S NOT GOOD FOR ME

...........BUT ALSO GRUMPY RECLUSIVE WRITER JIMMY WITH A TOO BIG OF AN IMAGINATION AND DOWN TO EARTH SUNSHINE FLORIST SEA IS MAKING ME FROTH AT THE MOUTH CLAW AT THE WALLS BITE MY OWN ARM OFF IT'S SO DELICIOUS!!!!!! IS IT PERHAPS A BIT TOO CLICHÉ???? MAYBE. DO I CARE?????? NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!

LIKE HEAR ME OUT. i love the idea of jimmy's character having had a big fight with his family and that being the reason why he lives alone: maybe his parents are both prestigious doctors and since jimmy is an only child they wanted him to follow in their footsteps and become a doctor too (see what i did here??? okay, that's not funny), but jimmy always wanted to be a writer and during one of their many fights his dad ended up destroying or deleting the draft of the very first novel jimmy was writing, which ended in jimmy running away from home and never coming back. after that he went from place to place, from job to job, from relationship to relationship, but they were all just temporary things, he knew they wouldn't lasts forever, until finally he managed to publish his first novel and it immediately became a huge success, and with the money he made he decided to settle down somewhere. after looking at many places, he saw the house in the mv and for some reason it spoke to him and decided that he had to live there, but to buy the house he ends up spending all the money he has and now he has to find a housemate to share the expenses with, at least until he's gonna write his next book

after a series of terrible housemates - some of which were just lousy, others that he ended up hooking up with but all ended badly like you said - he meets sea's character, and as i mentioned in the previous post it takes them a while to get closer, but then they quickly become best friends. i LOVE the idea of jimmy being very blunt and direct, saying everything he thinks, and sea being the first person to not take offense but actually liking how straightforward jimmy is, just like i love jimmy not being a great cook and never particularly caring about eating well or doing chores until sea came along and suddenly jimmy's looking forward to sharing meals with him and washing the dishes together afterwards

DON'T EVEN LET ME START ON SEA SUDDENLY BECOMING JIMMY'S INSPIRATION FOR HIS BOOK BECAUSE IT MAKES ME WANT TO GO DROWN INTO THE NEAREST RIVER. jimmy having these big scenarios coming to life in his head as he writes and the main character slowly morphing into sea, which sometimes can be dangerous because he ends up daydreaming so much that fantasy sea would be doing something while the real sea is just looking at him like 'you with me?' and it brings jimmy back to reality. another thing jimmy ends up incorporating into his book because of sea is the language of flowers: the day sea brings him along to the flower shop, sea spend the entire time teaching him how to repot and take care of all the different plants and telling him about their meaning (speaking of which, i wish i could recognize the small flowers jimmy smells in the mv)

and since at this point it’s tradition to have namtan in all jimmysea series, let’s say the flower shop belongs to her and that as soon as she sees them together she knows what’s going on: she immediately understands that sea is in love with jimmy, but she knows that because he’s only ever had a couple of serious relationships that ended with him being dumped for ‘taking it too seriously’, he has a hard time actually trusting someone with his feelings again, and jimmy clearly likes sea back but he doesn’t seem to have realize it yet

also the first time jimmy and sea fight is because jimmy finds out that sea’s dream is to become a film director, but that he wasn’t able to pursue it because of his family, and jimmy thinks it was a situation similar to his own, when the truth is that sea’s mom is pretty ill and can barely work, so as soon as he finished high school he started working to help her out and give his little sister the opportunities he couldn’t have. jimmy of course doesn’t know all of this at first, so he ends up saying some hurtful things that make sea lash back at him, but in the end they can’t stay angry at each other for long: they apologize and talk and idk where im going with this exactly, but maybe in the end jimmy is gonna teach sea that it’s okay to put yourself first and dream a little bigger, and sea is gonna teach jimmy that there’s beauty to be found in the real world too

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I NEED TO GO KILL MYSELF FR

[notmuchtoconceal]

I don't need to be motivated by losers to have a hot beefy bod because I love people and love being alive.

If you view the material body as a prison instead of a vehicle to explore the depths and perils of the third dimension, you are a fucking weakling and your weak body is a reflection of your weak fucking mind.

If you view the material body as a bloated tomb gunked up with grease and malevolence you're a lazy piece of shit who wants to lay around all day and jack-off eat garbage and blame other people for your problems.

I know your type and all the other men who treat you with thinly-veiled contempt are absolutely being polite and no, you absolutely do not deserve to be smacked. You deserve to be abandoned.

You deserve to be ignored. You deserve to be ignored forever.

You can't have what you want. You can't not have what you want. There is no right answer for you. You don't exist. You're not anything.

Nothing is infinite possibility. Nothing is a latent everything waiting to become a something. This is why voluntary acts of humility open one up to infinitely unfurling depths of new becoming, for they are in essence remaking themselves from their core by contracting (much like the symphonic plucking of each individual muscle, strummed to tearing, rewinding, enzymatic drip-feedings of honey down strings of sound in meat igniting sparks of sweat and exhaust) and those who cannot humble themselves know they are base, wretched and ultimately acting with deception, having nothing to offer, having nothing to gain.

For them, we leave only a laugh of derision.

A sole breadcrumb of the contempt which is the attention they confuse for the love they will never have.

They who continue to injure themselves allowing their impotent wailings to blow back up and implode their own lungs as they are denied our cocks, why... to even think of our superiority in relation them does them too great a service. When they are on their knees, grateful to be in our presence, acknowledging that they themselves are simply weak and tender glamor-obsessed girls who chase not beauty, but the markings of it for they wish only to be seen ... and we may see them, charming things that they are when they do not hide their frailty. Not I, nor any man would have contempt for the truly fair and mild and serene. But what ugly things there are, things made to be which they were naught to be!

Thank you. Do sneer at my beneficence. Do sneer at the empty gesture of my perspective and my words. I am not one man attempting to see the truth from what limited perspective I may.

I am your king, your god, and for your labors I owe you tribute.

Safety and protection. Listen well to those who regard you as a weakling for regarding them as an equal, for their attitude is their confession.

They live to serve, and it is undignified to deny their service, they regarding you with the dignity of due recognition.

A beaten slave. A mistreated wife. To me, they are synonymous only in the mind of the subjugated. I ask then, and I wonder: Is this truly what you want? What you are? To be taken by hand in me and owned?

To let the soft warm leather of my palm take you by the chin and thumb away the tears from your face as you know you are mine, mine always to do with as I please? Do you crave the safety of my ownership, the stability of my command, or do you wish only to disgrace yourself by making me the object of your disgrace?

Why would I keep in my own arms one who lives only for ruin? Why would I embrace she who so gladly holds a knife in her hand to press into my back, needing always someone to die with?

You may die alone if that is your delight.

Why not let yourself seek immolation in my light, if that is so?

That I could offer you a beautiful death is an insult to your misery.

If you cannot sympathize with a man for whom tears matter less than words, you have been blessed to receive more speaking than crying.

( o )

When I look at beautiful musclebound men who inspire me, it isn't enough that I think about possessing their bodies.

It's not enough to hate people who have the things you don't and tell yourself you'll never have them and those who do are douchebags.

That shit's loser talk.

You're a loser if you think that.

Stroke your loser dick for bein such a loser if that's what you are.

Wheat from the chaff.

Daddy's cuttin you up with his fuckin eyes, boy.

Rather, if you view a body as an extension of the mind which crafted it, and view the formation of muscle as sharing the same fundamental beauty of a stony cliffside or mountain peak, formed by continuous pressure and constant upheaval over a prolonged duration to achieve great heights and rugged form, you may come to understand the processes and the variables which shape such a mind and by extension the body you covet (not for true recognition of its beauty, if you're one of the aforementioned losers, but for its sexual and social prestige, it being simply then a vehicle for your own underdeveloped ego painfully misplaced; healthy muscle being obvious extensions of a healthy ego which would defacto be balanced in regard to itself and others!) thus uniting the disparate cords of symbolic, intellectual and social logic into an integrated whole capable of navigating diverse environments.

One word.

Brotherhood.

Encapsulating all which you were denied.

All which you continuously deny yourself.

Don't fuckin come at me with that loser talk, boy.

Tom Faulk and Owen Michaels Bump! (2014)

[milehighmegs]

On the Subject of Grief: How Star Trek Can Help Us Get Through This

Alright folks, I'm temporarily switching from my beloved Good Omens to my OG fandom: the one, the only, the grandaddy of beloved franchises, Star Trek.

In light of the devastating news, I've needed comfort. Sadly, with GO ending as it did with the Final 15, and with the conclusion still at least a year away, my angel/demon love story just makes me cry even harder. But I've always been able to find solace in Star Trek.

Star Trek has always been, at least to me, a glimpse of what we are capable of being: compassionate, not just accepting of the differences in others but delighting in them and celebrating them, united in the goal of bringing hope & peace to all corners of existence. Infinite variety in infinite combinations. What a beautiful thing.

I acknowledge that this is pretty utopian, but we must also remember that even in the idealistic world of Star Trek, there remains conflict, pain, & loss. Seeing beloved characters throughout the various shows & films dealing with these difficult scenarios is what continues to inspire me when things seem lost. We deal with grief in our own, widely varied ways, but we have each other to lean on, and we have the one thing they cannot take from us: hope.

Strange, then, you might say, that I've chosen to write about the heartbreakers rather than the uplifting moments (of which there are plenty). And you'd be right. But if I'm being honest here, I'm not looking to chase the gloom away. I need to sit in it, feel through it, and maybe, eventually, I'll be ready to smile again. But today is not that day.

So, in typical pessimistic-but-desperately-trying-to-find-something-good-in-this fashion, I've complied a list of the most heartbreaking episodes of Star Trek, from each of the 8 main franchises + 1. I've stuck to the live-action shows, mainly because I haven't seen enough of the animated ones (Animated Series, Lower Decks, & Prodigy) to include them. But I have included Short Treks, mostly because they're canon but also because I've seen them. I've listed the episodes in chronological order, not in what's most to least painful or vice versa. Feel free to add your own, and let me know which episodes or moments have brought you a bit of light in your darkest times.

Oh, and I think this goes without saying, but ***spoilers ahead***

#1) "Demons," Enterprise: When Trip & T'Pol's baby daughter Elizabeth died... no words, only sorrow.

#2) "Project Daedalus," Discovery: I don't remember ever before becoming so attached to a side-character in the space of a single episode; not to the level that I became attached to Commander Ariam, at least. The depiction of her life before her augmentation, the tragedy that necessitated in it, and the way her salvation was corrupted by Control was both touching and maddening. Her sacrifice at the end, and the tender, final moment of her life, was devastating. My grief carried over into the next episode, with the opening scene of her memorial and Saru's tender lullaby sending me crashing into waves of mourning a loss I never saw coming.

#3) "Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow," SNW: Watching the development of the relationship between La'an and Kirk, knowing full well that it couldn't last, was painful enough. Wacthing her mourn his loss and being completely unable to share her grief with anyone because Temporal Prime Directive, was a punch straight to the gut. She mourned alone. So did I.

#4) "The City on the Edge of Forever," TOS: We never want to believe that good people have to suffer for the greater good to come about; BELIEVE ME, after last night, I certainly am not supportive of that stance. Which is why this episode is so tragic: Kirk, knowing that Edith had to die in order for his future to exist, the future in which the Federation was real, was tragic enough. Knowing that he had to stop his friend, McCoy, from saving her, and in the process forcing him to violate the most sacred oath of his life, just rammed it home even harder.

#5) "The Offspring," TNG: beautiful, sweet, wonderful Data. He's always been my favorite. He may not be capable of emotion (at least, not at that point in time), but I know I felt the loss of Lal more than enough to make up for it. I still cry, knowing what's coming, every time I watch it.

#6) "The Visitor," DS9: Losing a parent is always hard. Imagine having to deal with the loss of that parent, over & over again, at random moments throughout your life, never knowing when it'll be the last time. Imagine being a parent, missing out on your child's entire life, only getting glimpses of it at random moments, and only to watch them die at an old age when virtually no time has passed for you. I'm glad that I've yet to experience either of this kind of loss, but the inevitability of it doesn't lessen the pain one bit. I sobbed for days over this one.

#7) "Tuvix," Voyager: The titular character's empassioned plea for his life was a knife in my heart. Whichever side you stand on with this still-debated episode within the Trek community, if you didn't cry, you have no soul.

#8) "Surrender," Picard: when Data started giving his things to Lore (the Holmes pipe, his image of Tasha), I was already crying with nostalgia. These were all the things that made Data who he is, all the things that represented what made him my favorite character. But when he gave up Spot... I was, at the time, facing eviction, having to make the difficult choice to move out and into a friend's home, which meant having to give up my beloved cat. In that moment, watching Data give sweet Spot to such a monster... I couldn't do it. I paused the show, literally crawled over to my sweet boy sleeping in his spot on my bed, and promised I would get it together and make sure he & I stayed together. I made it another year + 3 months, but ultimately had to move and give my cat up, but to my best friend instead of a shelter. I get regular updates and pics; my Bubbas boy is happy & healthy and dearly loved. I'm crying now remembering how much that moment changed things for me, and while I miss my boy, I know he's safe. It's extremely bittersweet.

#9) "Calypso," Short Treks: The sadness of this minisode is compunded by the knowledge that Zora was be out there all alone for a millenia, and that she was encountered totally by accident by someone who- at first- seems completely immune to her tenderness. But then, as he opens up to her, and they share a beautiful, touching dance, you begin to hope. And then he leaves. Nothing lasts forever, indeed.

Watching beloved characters go through painful times can be harrowing, but it can also be cathartic & healing in its own way. Today, I'm mourning, but I am not broken. One day, this wound will heal, and maybe our country will, too.