#I can't wait until I can find a job that isn't retail

[koekjesdeeg]

I'm so fucking tired, nothing is interesting, and I can't bring myself to work on the things I love to do and want to finish. I just wanna scream and cry and quit my job and completely pivot and I fucking hate it

[thatmexisaurusrex]

Okay, but like looks at pitch notecards... pulls the Pepe Silvia board back out again because this is a goofy idea.

So, you're Kim.

The show that you thought would start your career falls apart within the first season. You're working retail. You've basically given up on your acting dreams. You got bangs because this man you were kind of dating said you looked exactly like his wife, so you decided to get the guy to do some cathartic roleplay with you. You accidentally help him blow up his entire life.

It's been a time for Kim.

Then.

You get a call from your agent.

That last show you were on? The showrunner has a semi-recently made show with a few seasons under its belt.

Hotshots.

They need a new firefighter for the show and the showrunner remembered Kim! Loved Kim! Wants Kim to pick up this guest role that has the potential of becoming a recurring character.

She decides, yeah. Fuck yeah. I can do this. This will be good for me.

She gets a contract for a few episodes.

She acts her heart out.

The show loves her so much that they expand her role; she's going to be there at least until the end of the season.

Everything's turning up Kim.

She even gets a love interest! A backstory! A career goal on the show!

Kim even reaches out to Marisol and apologizes for her behavior. And Marisol is cool with her now! They get coffee sometimes!

But

Then.

She finds out that the firefighter consultant is from the 118 originally, and that sounds familiar.

And when she tags along with Bobby to see a plane emergency in real life, well, isn't that Buck guy familiar too?

Wait.

Is that Eddie at the emergency?

That can't be right.

She tries to brush it off.

Until.

She has to shadow a firehouse to do character research. And she decides to shadow Bobby because Bobby's the best.

But then she notices that she's been to this fucking fire station before.

And then she notices that this is the fucking firehouse of her sort-of-not-ex, Eddie Diaz.

She has to spend the whole day with him. She gives Eddie a heart-to-heart about the not-relationship they had; about her own parenting struggles (because she does have a kid. The kid lives with her ex in Reno or something and she does regret not reaching out to that kid more often, not doing more). She helps Eddie figure out what he should do about his problems with Chris, which also helps her figure out her own problems with her own child.

And now she has to deal with the fact that her not-quite-ex gets the reward of playing a nurse on her TV show.

But.

Well.

At least she still has the dream job. And maybe, she'll reach out to that kid of hers and try to reconnect too.

And idk, I think this would have been more interesting than Brad.

[atypicalstrong]

vent incoming

So two of my friends moved to South Korea and weren't able to take their cats with them immediately, so I agreed to foster them for 6 months until their first vacation so they could come collect them.

Little did I know that 3 years later I would still have these cats, because it turns out that importing pets more than 6 months after you immigrate is incredibly difficult, and the owners didn't do any proper research beforehand, and also didn't save any money to get it done. And STILL aren't saving money to get it done, and are instead begging all their associates for money (by taking commissions they aren't actually doing - a mutual friend has literally 30 works they still haven't received) every step of the way when we have to get health tests and certificates and lab reports done.

And it turns out everything we've done so far has been for nothing because its all been in my name, and they're gonna have to redo all the expensive and time consuming tests in their name. Which means finding a vet that will do all this legal paperwork in someone else's name who isn't in the country to verify anything at all and is just taking my word for it. Which is uhhhhhhh an issue to say the least.

I found all this out today first thing in the morning when my friend was like "the pet relocation company says none of this will work so can you and your vet fix it?" And when I was like "I'll ask but I'm pretty sure we have to start over bc anything else would legally be fraud since technically I own your cats right now" (because its been 3 fucking years) they had the fucking GALL to break down crying and say it hurts so much to hear their pets aren't legally theirs, and I have to make my vet fix it because they've been doing a "trash job" (they haven't, they've actually been very helpful and the only fuck up that happened before this was a lab's fault, not my vet's), and they can't afford to do it all again, and that they "need me to be in their corner right now".

And then they just shut down when I tried to offer any solutions that DON'T involve legal fraud. Like coming back and doing it themselves instead of using a company, which is "just not possible" (no reason given when asked why not, literally just silence), or doing it as a "sale" so it makes sense that its all in my name ("that won't work because the regulations are probably different").

Like, I'm sorry you waited until the last minute to check if we were doing everything correctly! But that's not my fault, or my responsibility! I never wanted it to take this long, and I certainly don't want to keep your fucking cats! They keep destroying all my stuff, which you've offered to replace but noticeably haven't! Even if I wanted to, I CAN'T keep your fucking cats because I'm moving next year!

Nevermind I've got a bunch of my own shit going on that y'all don't seem to care about at all, like fighting for disability benefits, and being sued for medical debt (my court date is LITERALLY tomorrow and they haven't asked about it once since I told them last month), and affording rent and food! They're over in South Korea spending all their money on take out and "retail therapy" (and to be fair some genuine unforseen costs, but that just makes the other stuff more infuriating) not saving anything for the cats, while I'm over here going to food banks and hygiene pantries just to stay afloat!

I don't even want to be friends with them anymore at this point! And that really hurts, because there was a time when they were the best friends I'd ever had. But now? After all this? How can they expect me to trust or rely on them, for anything? After everything I've done for them THIS is the thanks I get?

I don't even know what else to say. If they don't SINCERELY apologize for this, and also accept they fucked up by not doing the research or saving any money, and ALSO come to terms with the fact that we have to start over, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Stop being friends with them and rehome the cats, I guess. I don't WANT to do that but I don't think I'll have any other choice.

I've put up with so much and for what. For fucking what. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh...

[duchess-fox]

Lessons from the Screen: Jasmine (Blue Jasmine)

Played by Cate Blanchett, Jasmine is the titular character to Woody Allen's film, Blue Jasmine. It's one of my favourite films not because Jasmine is a character to aspire to, but rather one to take lessons from.

Who is Jasmine?

Born Jeanette, she was adopted along with her sister Ginger. She changes her name to Jasmine, likely when she was 18 since she had met her husband Hal as Jasmine and he is said to have fallen in love with the name Jasmine. (Jasmine does lie about the origins of her name afterwards, saying that her parents named her after their favourite flower - night blooming jasmine). She drops out of school to marry him and thereafter lives the life of a Manhattan socialite.

We don't know much of her past but it can be inferred that Jasmine likely came from the lower middle to middle class.

Her Husband's Arrest and Death

Jasmine's husband Hal, was arrested on charges of embezzlement and fraud. As a result, all of their assets were frozen and seized. Hal had committed suicide while arrested, likely knowing that he couldn't do the jail time and couldn't bear the humiliation. Jasmine was able to hide a few things to sell but has to take a job - a retail position at a shoe store and had to wait upon women with whom she had hosted previously at luncheons.

Moving to San Francisco

Jasmine moves in with her sister, after not being able to afford her Brooklyn rent and finding herself in a mountain of debt. Ginger lives a strictly lower-middle class life with her two children.

Jasmine decides she wants to become an interior decorator and knows she can get a qualification online. However as she knows nothing about using a computer, she takes a class on how to use them.

Lessons we can learn

Do not drop out of school to get married.

In the first scene of the film, Jasmine mentions that she was in school studying anthropology but drops out of school after marrying Hal. So now that her husband is dead, she has to support herself now (since their assets were seized).

Lesson: Do not give up your education for anyone. You are the one living your life so do what's best for you. Knowledge is something that no one can take from you! If someone wants to marry you but wants you to drop out of school for it, don't bother with them as they may be trying to make you completely dependent on them.

Keep employable hobbies.

"But what if they're so wealthy I don't actually have to work? Isn't that the whole point?"

Jasmine thought that too. Until she her husband was arrested and committed suicide. She notes that she had always been interested in interior decorating, citing her 'great taste' and experience in decorating her homes. However now that she has to provide for herself, she can't work as an interior decorator since she doesn't have a licence.

Lesson: Even if you marry wealthy, you should cultivate some kind of hobby that can be turned into a career. Event hosting/planning, interior decoration, designing, matchmaking even - things that can be considered hobbies and yet can turn into business ideas. This is made even better by the fact you may be socialising with a different cohort of potential clients if you do decide to turn it into a business.

Have an exit plan and money of your own.

Jasmine is forced to move from New York City to San Francisco because she can't afford to live there and was forced to take a low paying retail job. She had no money of her own - rather her husband provided her the money to live the lavish lifestyle she once did.

Lesson: Be sure to have a 'worst case scenario' plan just in case. You should also have a bank account that is completely separate from your partner's - an emergency fund. Make sure it covers at least 6 months of expenses but keep adding to it when you can since money can mean freedom. Hell even keeping a packed Louis Vuitton suitcase in the event you need to get out of the house quickly may not be a bad idea either.

Understand what you're signing

Normally a spouse is not likely to get into trouble if her husband is arrested for embezzlement and fraud. However since Jasmine's signature is on a lot of the business documents, she is almost indicted along with her husband.

Lesson: Read what you're signing! Understand what you're signing. If you have trouble understanding what you're signing, consult someone in the legal profession.

Have classic pieces that never go out of style

Jasmine manages to keep a few things when she moves to San Francisco, which captures the attention of a potential suitor at a party. She manages to keep a Chanel jacket, one of her Hermes Birkins (B35, Gold with gold hardware), Roger Vivier shoes, Chanel belt and her full set of monogrammed Louis Vuitton luggage. In fact, her religiously wears her Chanel jacket and Birkin everwhere although it's seen more as Jasmine trying desperately to hold onto her previous life.

Lesson: While you don't have to have a Chanel jacket or an Hermes Birkin, you can still have classic pieces without the price tag. Nowadays there are more affordable coats and jackets that are timeless - wrap coats, trench coats, pea coats. If you can't afford a designer bag, choose one that has a timeless silhouette, minimal decorative details and minimal hardware.

[learning-to-discover-me]

I hate being someone who sees both sides in every aspect of life.

EMPLOYMENT

Right now everywhere is hiring because people either just don't want to go back to work because living on unemployment is better for them, or no job will pay high enough so they will not take a lower paying job.

A lot of people can be working right now. From personal experience a lot of people could have worked the entire pandemic. That is coming from someone who DID work the entire pandemic. And actually worked 40+ hours because I was required to be full time while they dropped my staff to part time. I was forced to work more so others could live on unemployment.

Yes pay rates suck. Minimum wage is a huge issue right now. I definitely don't get paid the best for my job. I work in finance so you'd think they pay well right? No. I don't get paid amazing. But most places really don't anymore. I do agree Minimum needs raised. How much? I can't really say because I feel doubling it could really cause a lot of inflation and I already barely afford my bills. Also doubling it will cause an uproar from those who also needs a wage increase based on that.

I am literally working 50+ hours at a job that is supposed to be 9-5. I have no staff. We are not getting applicants to even start. No my company isn't really making it better for us either as they haven't the entire pandemic. Could I find another job? Definitely. One that might pay better? Sure. But here's the thing.

1. I already have severe anxiety. Especially when it comes to change. I HATE change. I hate new. It freaks me out.

2. Idk what I would do. I work in finance and I have a psych degree and all my experience in the work force is retail. I literally don't know what I want to do with my life.

3. My one coworker is literally my best friend and we are each others reason to stay. We say every day if you weren't here I wouldn't be. And it's true. I would not stay there if she left. And shes the same way with starting somewhere new. She hates change.

So yea I know a lot of people say "well no one wants to work!!!!" And yes I agree

And there's those who say "we aren't working for a place that won't pay me a worthy wage" and yea I agree.

The problem is that yes people do need to work. Too many are just happy living on unemployment waiting for a high paying job because it's easier. *obviously not everyone is doing this*

Yea employers aren't going to want to pay you butt loads of money especially for entry level jobs. You have to start somewhere and unfortunately that normally means not making a ton of money.

I wish I could side one way or another because then I could just he angry about it but I can't. Because I see why people aren't working. But I am so burnt out that I'm angry people can't just work.

Okay sorry rant over

*this is just my own thoughts. If you feel different you totally can. I'm very angry today and just want this to get better and it won't until we have staff and it makes me very emotional because this job is not hard at all*

[frogsandfries]

I did the interview

Went to the mall to interview for this retail job I want. She said they really need the help, she has to talk to her superior, they'll get ahold of me yet this afternoon. Which means they'll call tomorrow morning, if ever.

I really need this job. I mean, yeah, I have a job, but........ I feel bad, the pay is incredible, but I'm just not going to be in the best shape to excel at the job I'll be trying on tomorrow and officially starting next week. I can't let my SAD whup my ass again this season.

I try not to self-diagnose, but I feel like SAD diagnoses itself: I'm superman in the summer and hollow-derealized nobody in the winter. I'm happy and energetic and myself in the summer and just want to sleep all winter and not eat. My fix for this is just getting out of the house in the winter, which I don't like to do without good reason no matter the season--too hot, too sunny, too windy, too cold. The other thing is, it's hard enough to run on somebody else's sleep schedule (my dad is straight up nocturnal, but I'm certainly no morning person) if I love the job. If I don't love the job AND I'm depressed........

Funnily, the weather today was perfect. Helllllaaaaaa windy, but perfect. Then it kept getting hotter lol.

Obviously, I haven't gotten any on-boarding material from the new job yet, so I'm not writing my notice yet. I'll wait to revel in my relief until then and maintain my plans to turn the office into a cheerful area to work. I mean, if I'm stuck with this call job, I'll certainly have plenty of money. I want to buy a bunch of cork tiles, mount them on foamcore, and buy a bunch of quilting fabric to wrap the cork tiles in, then use command velcro to stick the cork boards behind my desk on the wall. It might even be cool to cut the tiles into halves and quarters and make them even more like a quilt. I was toying with the idea of putting strip lights on the boards, under the fabric, to make color-y lights, but I'm really not sure how good an idea that is. Best case scenario, the fabric bleaches.

We have this patch of wall in the living room with some strip lights (but I had to acquire the part that plugs in, so they don't work right now) and I was telling my partner that we should buy some of that light-bulb/heat-safe paper to put over the light (maybe an inch or two between the light and the wall) to act as a sort of lamp shade. That'll do a lot of favors for the living room. I wouldn't say no to two more strips of light on my desk, one closer to the front and one closer to the back.

Of course, I'm always thinking about ways to add even more light to the rooms I work in. I'm sure my partner wouldn't mind a similar light element to the one in the living room, over his desk, even if we take this curtain down. Speaking of that curtain, I need to add more layers or padding or something. If they don't actually want me at this job I just interviewed for, then I need to find a way to feel like I'm not yelling over him. I was going to sew the extra length up off the floor this evening........ we've been throwing out the extra egg cartons. Those would've been a lightweight solution...... Yes, I would've temporarily attached literal egg cartons to my curtain. Hmmmmm........ maybe the granny quilt? We'll see if that works.

I'm really attached to this desk. If it was maybe six inches taller, so I could stand at it, it'd be excellent. All I need are a couple monitor stands, some drawers for my thumbnail sketchbooks and pens and erasers and stuff, maybe one of those under-desk baskets for other oddment.

I really want a second chance at this call job though. I understand how expensive my license was and I want to prove that I can kick ass at this job, just this isn't my season. I kinda thought it might be, honestly, but I'm literally in tears of anxiety over the thought of going back on the phones. I need to be prepared that I might have to try. If I do have to give it a shot, I need to be prepared. I'm also going to really try to build up an extra buffer of savings, just in case.

[soggywarmpockets]

Okay I told my mom and @theredberin so I can finally tell you guys this now.

The full Sunday story: So Pennsylvania's governor issued a mandate that everyone is required to wear some kind of mask or face covering over their nose and mouth when they're out in public but especially when they're in a store or indoor space unless they have a medical condition that makes them unable to do so. This mandate has caused nothing but headaches for the poor cashiers and essential retail employees who have to enforce it, but has also probably helped slow the spread of covid-19, so what can you do? Anyway, there's this specific brand of middle-aged-to-old white men who, in particular, seem to feel that their constitutional rights are being trodden upon by being forced to wear a breathable piece of fabric over their nose and mouth, and one such individual came in on Sunday evening.

He walked in very quickly and made a beeline for the ice cooler, but my coworker and I both saw him so I called out, very politely "Sir, do you have something to cover your nose and mouth with?"

Almost instantly this dude became angry and started shouting "That isn't a real law! The governor is an asshole! This is a private business and he can't tell you what to do!"

I interrupted his tirade and informed him that I would not be waiting on him if he was not wearing a mask, to which he replied "By law, you have to, I have a medical condition!" Which is kind of funny because he had just said that this wasn't a real law, but whatever, I told him he should have said that first (even though I am sure he was just saying it so I wouldn't kick him out) and rang him up. He got super smug after that and made some comment as he walked out the door that I didn't quite hear over the blood pounding in my ears and in a lapse of professionalism, I shouted that he was an asshole at the same time that my coworker shouted at him to fuck off.

Well he heard us and came back in and shouted "This is how you talk to customers?" And I just smiled and waved while my coworker said something like "Only when they're being assholes." And he got all pissy and left.

Now I have a hot temper and I am quick to say things without thinking when I am mad, but actually hate confrontation, so I spent the rest of the night shaking, having an anxiety attack, and being absolutely convinced that I was going to be fired when my manager found out. And the shaky panic continued well into Monday and honestly right up until the start of my shift today. As soon as I walked in, the day shift cashier said "I have something to tell you." And I thought "Oh god, she's going to tell me that the manager wants to speak to me." But she said "Remember that old biddy who was badmouthing us on Facebook and trying to get the town to boycott us because she didn't like the price of our hand sanitizer? (Which we were FINALLY able to get in after months but at a cost of $3.95 per bottle which we were selling for $4.95 per bottle so we could make some kind of overhead on of it which she thought was RIDICULOUS because "I could get it at the grocery store for $1.95!" but, like, good luck finding any at that price. Or any at all for that matter. Anyway back to what my coworker was saying) Well she said her son came in on Sunday without a mask and you or Carla called him an asshole. Well she came on today to complain about you being mean to her son and while she was screaming about it she kept picking up items and putting them on the counter and I just stood there looking at her. When she finished yelling she asked if I was going to ring her up and I told her "Ma'am, you made a big point of telling everyone that you would never spend another dollar here, as far as we're concerned you can get the hell out!" And the woman got pissed off and left and my coworker put all of her stuff back and told the manager everything, and the manager approved and told her good job because she is sick of customers being rude to us and I AM NOT IN TROUBLE AT ALL because my manager figures that he was probably just in the store on Sunday to cause trouble and I'm so relieved that I am not being fired.

But anyway, there's more. Apparently the guy posted about me in the town Facebook group trying to get people to join his mom's boycott and I didn't see it (I heard about this from one of the admins of the group) because the post was only up for 5 minutes before he deleted it because in that 5 minutes no less than 50 people commented on the post saying that, yes, he was an asshole and he should have been wearing a mask and how dare he try to cause problems at one of the only businesses in town that are open right now and that we employees put our health and safety on the line every single day and wear masks for our entire shifts and he can't even be bothered to put one on for two minutes to walk into the store. So not only did my manager and coworkers back me up, but so did my town. And apparently some people who knew him were calling bullshit on him having a medical condition. This was truly the best outcome that could have come out of this stressful situation.

That being said I am going to try to keep my temper in check and watch my mouth because I know this kind of miracle probably won't happen again. I was truly blessed by the essential retail gods on this day.

Anyway, sorry about the dramatic posts recently. Work is very very bad and I lost my cool yesterday and called a customer an asshole to his face so I'll probably be facing Disciplinary Action™️ for that tomorrow and I'm big anxious about that and then today I woke up to find my cat's food bowl covered in ants and she lives in my bedroom so that is VERY stressful and honestly I am not coping with any of this well at the moment.