#I can't wait to get the book myself!!
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I just noticed I didn't tell you yet--which is shameful as it is Tumblr where the Mermaid Scientist was born! My Mermaid Book was picked up by Eye of Newt and is available for pre-order right now (it's coming out very soon, though, so any orders should make it until Christmas if that's a concern of yours)! If you're in North America, I'd suggest ordering directly through my publisher's website, however it's available anywhere you'd usually order books. You can ask your favourite indie book shop to order it for you or--if there's no other option or you're worried about crazy shipping costs where you live--it's available via the place starting with A, which shall otherwise not be named, as well. Please note: This is an edited version of the original book. It's shorter, but with more coherent world building and a beautiful new layout and design. It's a proper field guide now!
#Mermaid book#books#mermaids#field guide#art book#this makes me a traditionally published author-illustrator now :DDD#when we talked about editing the book for publication my publisher was like#we love Dr Lillefisk#Let's keep her!#Now she's in the title!#I made her up on a whim!#Her name is just grammatically incorrect Swedish#I love it so much#just thinking about how everything started and came together#and the book changed and grew and now#7 years later this is where we are!#my publisher send me the video btw#I can't wait to get the book myself!!
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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#I'm having so much fun#I've also replaced doomscrolling with Gravity Falls#If i find myself scrolling for more than 5 minutes#I put on an episode#I forgot how damn GOOD this show was#I mean I remembered it being good#But it holds up beautifully#If it'd come out today#I'd still be a fan#gravity falls#character design#artists on tumblr#Fanart#dipper pines#Mabel pines#the mystery twins#Pines twins#Gravity falls fanart#I can't wait to get the book of bill too#bill cipher#the book of bill
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it's a delightfully humbling experience to run across a video with hardcoded subtitle translations in two different languages and absolutely none of those (the spoken language or the subtitled ones) are even slightly related to the four languages i could somewhat claim to speak or the nice handful of others i can at least try to take educated guesses at. there is a wide open world out there full of words i don't know and likely never will, and not for lack of trying, but because we (humans) have SO many different languages the human lifespan just isn't long enough to learn them all. and i think that's incredibly cool, actually
#WORDS. if there's one thing my descent into thai media has done it's supercharge the amount of time i already spent daily#pondering language and its nuances and contrasts between different ones and the challenges of translation and cultural exchange#*#okay wait screaming. different video has thai audio a mandarin song and vietnamese subtitles#and there is one (1) comment. in german!!! below which youtube added a dutch 'Naar het Engels vertalen' (translate to english) button#when that's the one (1) part of all this i could translate to english myself. or dutch. or just read it in german#oh i LOVE the internet sometimes. this is amazing. sorry to books but i can't get this exact befuddling experience from you
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this book is gonna be so fucking good if I ever get around to writing it
#I did recently discover I may have been operating for YEARS maybe my WHOLE LIFE with near death low levels of cortisol lmao#so until I can get to an endo and hopefully get on some hormones I'm gonna be extra nice to myself re: productivity and stress#because it turns out my 'overexertion goes REALLY hard on me :(' may have been repeatedly nearly dying lolololol#I mean it's probably not that bad it's probably just a little funky#but my morning cortisol was 0.5 which I guess is like STUPID low#anyway I can't wait to write my whole book I'm gonna go write more of it now maybe
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I am once again tagged by @radellama, thanks a bunch!
~
Last Song: Song of the Ancients / Fate, by Keiichi Okabe
Currently Watching: Still Trigun (1998), I am unfortunately too busy to watch much else (Though I do sometimes think about how much I want to rewatch TGCF season 2....)
Three Ships: Xiao/Venti, Feng Xin/Mu Qing, Minamoto Kou/Mitsuba Sousuke
Favorite Color: Still cobalt!
Currently Consuming: Nothing at the moment, last thing was some chai tea. Now I'm thinking about grilled cheese again tho...
First Ship: Leo/Takumi from Fire Emblem: Fates
Relationship Status: Unfortunately, no
Last Movie: I genuinely don't remember... It was either Spirited Away or a combined Megamind/How to Train Your Dragon movie night
Currently Working On: A lot of my current angst is actually over the fact that I'm too deep in the schoolwork trenches to actually work on any of my own personal creative projects. But, my other project besides the Genshin Poetry Gala fic that I've been working on for months now is a TGCF essay about how the main couple are representative of the story's main themes. They make my brain explode <3
~
Tagging: @hollyisanonymous, @rubberbandballqueen, @tempests-bards-and-birds, @sl33pyr3v3ri3, @stardustdiiving, @h4msanta
#tag game#I think I'm gonna just let tag game be its own tag now lol#I haven't actually been listening to much music for the past two days#I've been on more of a talking audio kick if anything at all#As for the ships aside from the obvious I ended up putting feng//qing because I cannot see myself writing hua//lian fic#Cuz the books have everything I need from them lmao#But for those two bozos? There's a reason why my roommate and I have spent hours talking about all the stupid gay shenanigans they could ha#And kou//tsuba is just because I caught up on js//hk recently and they are still destroying my heart (sob)#I can't wait until school is done so I can get back to being creative#That's what will fix me I'm not even joking lmaooo#Thanks for the tag these are always fun!! (even though it was a little similar to the last one with some of the prompts lolol)
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Just saw a TikTok complaining about fanfics that didn't have "enough dialogue" because "reading more than three sentences" was hard.
I'm not against heavy dialogue-oriented fics; they are fun, but... that's a script. You want to read a fucking script, hope you know that. A writer isn't "bad" because they are... you know, writing. Just say it isn't your thing and move on, but categorize something as "bad" because you lack the ability to fucking read... ain't the author's problem; it seems like a "you" one.
#im training myself into a descriptive writing style and reading that was a slap in the face... it's not that i dont like dialogue but#i need to convey feelings showing them as I want to I can't have that just with dialogue I WISH I was good enough to do that tho#because there's people who can but im not so-#the other day i saw a girl complaining about a book having WORDS what the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU#SHOW ME FEELINGS SHOW ME METAPHORS SHOW ME YOUR SOUL IN WRITTEN WORDS#I JUST THINK people aren't reading as much as they used to... just a thought after seeing people on booktok#like... you have books.... for what exactly? pretty colors? covers? just to say you have them for the aesthetics and go home#???? god ... the art of the written word is beautiful and unique to humans it lets out your soul and your spirit in paper bringing your min#into the physical word and you are just gonna call it BORING what the HELL IS WRONG WITH THAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#KAFKA WE REALLY ARE IT NOW#in a world where everything has to be fast and immediate we should look into art as something worth waiting for... idk man my thoughts#maybe im just too dense with my feelings with creation and ain't that deep but to me it is actually...#ive wanted to be a writer since I learned how to read not because I liked to write but because my soul gets a little lighter when I do it
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Sounds like you've got a right bitch of a co-worker based on those post tags lol
ajfksdljf TT0TT Oh that was like my 3rd version of a post I made. I had to talk myself down and censor myself akljsdflkfa orz
But yes he really is. I cannot stress it enough that everyone hates his guts and he's created such a hostile work environment.
#silly asks#the junpei coworker#silly answers#god i hate him so much#he's not the first jackass i've had to work with but god he is the most recent#i should've called HR last night#i literally told him “do NOT fucking finish that sentence or train of thought”#and then he kept ALLUDING to what he wanted to say and i had to keep telling him to stfu#then he hid in the bathroom for 30 min (which pissed me off mORE because it meant he got a free 30 break and was paid for it)#all while i was left alone to wrangle a circus by myself#he was watching anime fyi...cause I could hear it when I had to go to the back room to get stuff#like we had a store meeting and my boss listed a bunch of stuff that needed to be minded#and like HALF of it was directed at junpei (he didn't look at him but WE ALL KNEW)#my boss even confirmed it when everyone else left#he only confirmed it because as soon as they left I turned to him an was like 'when is that mfer getting fired?????!"#my boss wants to fire him but HIS boss says he can't until they find a replacement#the bar is in hell rn#it's so bad that me and my other coworker made a bingo of shit he likes to pull on shift (HE'S THAT CONSISTENT)#*looks at sched* oh thank god I dont need to see him today or tomorrow-#WAIT NO I HAVE TO WORK WITH HIM THE ENTIRE CLOSE FRIDAY NOOOOO FUCK save tme this is gonan suck#i'm kinda hoping he gets “sick” again I'd rather work alone TT0TT#*inhales* it'll be fine it'lle be fine it'll be fine it'll be fine#zen zen centered i am zen...I'll listen to an audio book or video i'll be ok#i'll just ignore him like i've been doing TT0TT#silly vents#vents#irl bs
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i miss making impulsive purchases 😞
#i got paid today but i CANNOT make any.#because i have 2 trips in september and if i'm not careful i might end up like this month (2€ in my account)#i mean i also ordered 1 book and 4 volumes of manga but these are my scheduled purchases asfhgsfjs#yes i have a schedule for new releases and preorders#so that's not so fun but it eases my anxiety#this week has been a lot and it's only wednesday... i am itching to buy something to boost my mood#even though i shouldn't 😭#i can't wait to get my raise next month... i will treat myself then!!#k.txt
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I know in my bones that Jon would have been a mama's boy, the biggest mama's boy actually, had Cat accepted him as her own. I just feel it deep within my soul, that boy would be attached to her at the hip, always holding her hand or leaning into her or latching onto her like a little leech (affectionate), and god forbid someone try and mess with her, oh lordy you better run. and honestly the other way around too, don't mess with Mama Cat or her kids.
had Catelyn accepted him as her son, the bond would be far too powerful, that's why they had to be put at such odds, it was for the world's sake, I just know it.
#I feel like this is already vaguely canon#cause like#she didn't mean too. she didn't mother him. but he turned out jsut like her.#like Cat. babes. thats your son right there#there's been points in Jon's character where I see more Cat then I see Ned#(mind you. I have just started dipping my toes into the books so this is mostly based off of the show)#anyway#I just think their potential bond would be SO interesting#especially cause Jon will always be Jon. he's loyal. he's fiercely protective. he's strong for those he loves. he's a fighter for his family#and then just add the “nothing gets between a mama's boy and his mama” thing#and I just know all could have been well#he would have never left Cat's (and Robb's) side (for a multitude of reasons. cause if she'd accepted him he'd most likely never gone to-#the wall or at least waited a bit longer since their wouldn't be the pressure to do so) and no one would have touched a hair on her head#and also just like. imagine little Jon and his mama. cuteness overload#I think he would have liked for her to play with his hair when he was little and hust never grew out of it#ahhhh#I just want them to be happy#I'm deluding myself into believing they were a happy little family and they lived a happy little life and all was well#cause I can't take it anymore#my heart hurts for them#this is my agenda#jon snow#catelyn stark#got#asoiaf#game of thrones#a song of ice and fire
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God if I had the energy and brainpower I’d be drawing Quynh + Nicky being chaotic and dumb together
#i see those reblogs in my notes lol. i miss them too#long story short: family emergency happened yesterday and i'm waiting to hear from my parents + sister#who have been driving for 8 hours now. which is not making me freak out less#and the very air around me just sort of.... changes from bursts of energy to dull hopeless nothingness#using all my spare energy to get my assignments done. frankly I'M mad at myself for doing it. i can't let myself rest or feel anything#kind of feel like the universe has just been giving me blow after blow. didn't get the job/award. didn't get a scholarship. pain has gotten#-- to the worst it's ever been. pile-up of assignments i can't even begin... and now this.#at least my library book is good#anyway yeah i'm fucking peachy. much love#maybe i should work on some of my stupid fanfiction. put this feeling somewhere
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long theoretical post about my friend hugging me
like. to dissect a matter that none of you are involved in and then i'll delete in the morning: my friend in college hugged me about ten minutes ago and i don't understand why. he's a physically affectionate person so we knew it was bound to happen, it was a running joke between us that we'd like schedule our hug to happen. nothing extraordinary happened tonight. in the second half -- which is when i spent the most time with him -- i was so fucked up that i barely processed what was going on? i was listening to what he was telling me, he just rambled about stuff, and it's interesting and i could recite all of it if asked and the expression he made at each part, but there was absolutely nothing in my head. and he never asked if i was okay which i think he would have if he thought something was wrong, because he's done that before. and we were alone so he could have and there would have been zero consequences. but he didn't ask me what was wrong, so it's hard to assume that the hug was for emotional consolation reasons. he wouldn't have noticed me on the brink of tears, either, he's not that observant. i would have known if he had. and i didn't do anything truly kind to him today, i listened to him talk about his interests and we hung out for a while, but that's what we do all the time. nothing happened. there was the chair thing but i thought i played that off well, i tried to have a coherent narrative about it an hour later too so he would guess what i had hoped, and i think i was successful. he wasn't distressed, i would have known. and he was tired but he's been tired a lot before and he's never acted like this. so he had zero reason to hug me unless he maybe sensed that this entire time i just really fucking wanted him to hug me, but he wouldn't have, and i would never have voiced that, because i don't want him to see me at that level. but i needed that hug badly. and i don't understand why i received it.
#nightmare.personal#neg#he's the easiest person to be around i think. because there are a lot of conversation topics to have#and i understand the way his mind ticks pretty well at this point#that's going to change in spring semester. maybe. which is going to really suck. but it'll be okay.#nothing i offered him would differ from what anyone could give him is the issue#i'm really good at that. you don't really need to have a ton of anything to listen to people#it's just listening. and yeah i guess people are bad at that? but like.#i don't know. he could talk to literally anyone else. all of them could talk to literally anyone else and they actively do#part of my brain is trying to rationalize myself into calming down but the other half is the one i want to indulge because#fuck. fuck. i can't do this forever.#like someday i have to snap right. i can't keep doing this. it's like a time loop.#this always happens and i only vaguely remember tomorrow but it'll happen two days after and it'll be bad#and i will always want to crack under pressure but never do#and if nothing's wrong with me why the hell am i like this?#i wish he didn't hug me. i should have got my book and fucking left.#i only waited because i was getting the book back from his roommate who was off calling his girlfriend#but honestly. that guy even though he's my friend. if he saw me crying he'd do nothing#because i don't think he would care even slightly. we're good friends now i'd say. he would not care.#at least this happened in a pretty way. that's something huh.
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I just had what feels like every stress dream ever in a single hour
#Strangers coming to my house for a party unannounced when I'm trying to sleep#Cant find my phone (this is still true)#People from work also at my house going nuts#Fish and worms have somehow grown in all my glass bottles and now I gotta find tanks for them but i cant afford that but i also dont wanna-#-kill them and they've started eating each other. The people are still at the party. Still cant find my phone#Random ladies show up demanding I answer questions that make no sense and I wanna help but idk how to respond#People from work are still losing it. It's raining and pitch black out. Still can't find my phone. My father is there.#Some guests get their hand on a device that let's you shape shift?? But you gotta jam a giant needle right into your chest#And I was down at first but then i see people whose faces shift between multiple people frozen in agony#And people whose faces just look like objects an it looks painful and a friend from work wont let me leave and is gonna stab me#And finally one person who got the shot gets like. Millions of tiny mushrooms growing out of every pore#Their entire body transforms into a fungal bed in the slowest most painful death imaginable. And this happens to everyone#And I just fucking booked it out of the house finally acrew the phone screw the rain screw work.#And at THAT point I'm like wait fuck this is a dream. If I keep going something terrible will definitely happen again#Thankfully just the adrenalin was enough to wake e up and I didnt have to dream-kill myself#I gotta write this down in more detail somewhere#Alda rambling
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sometimes i really wonder about this whole college thing
#big baby warning: im about to complain!#i want to like it and i want to do well and i need to do well#but things keep happening and it keeps getting harder#trust me i know it's challenging for everyone and i should feel lucky i even get to go#but it can be so lonely and sooo overbearing#it seems like no matter how hard i study i can't keep up with *all* my classes and something is always lacking#i genuinely *want* to do well believe me#im sort of just waiting to get to the good part where i actually get my english degree but im still stuck getting my prereqs#and im already so burnt out from high school#i just want#i think i just want to write my book and drink coffee and be happy#and im just struggling to have the motivation to finish this year#all i need to do is finish this year and it's so hard#and i don't want to complain but i just feel like crying sometimes#why do i feel the need to do so well at everything..?#im setting myself up for disaster#and i have to take a *summer course* too because i failed my first math class#i just wish that id done something differently idk#idk what that would have been but i feel like that's the answer#idk#im just tired#so is everyone tho#i just find college sort of#unfair?#there's no time to just be anymore#which is probably just life#i know i should be happy.... i just got hired at a job i actually like today!!!!#but is my learning really worth it if I never have the time to sink my teeth into it?#that's just how i feel rn#i can't wait to breathe and genuinely REST
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i think the last chapter is done!!! might post it today!!!
#dont understand how i can sleep in forever when im off work#but sleeping 4am - whenever you want!!!! i can't ever get past like 7 hours#like hey stupid there's no alarm!!!! keep going!!!!! and your brain just goes: no!#anyways great news for the next fic the 'working at a hospital' vibes are IMMACULATE#jakob and simon having lunch together outside at 3am in the dark??? it's dark and peaceful and just them alone so they can be vulnerable??#johnny and graves HAVE to stick together all day and snapping at each other the entire time?????#anyways i feel bad the last chapter is short but i do think i like it#i'm excited to get to the book Big Edit and epilogue and i KNOW MYSELF#that means HURRY UP AND FINISH THE LAST CHAPTER SO YOU DONT LOSE THE VIBES#so good news! it's done! we made it within the window!!!#unlike the poor readers of In Name Alone who had to wait A LONG TIME for a last chapter that was slightly different vibes-y#anyways the epilogue is fucking rad#ten pages so far#jakob is having a Bad Time and it's johnny's pov about him
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Also, completely unrelated to my last post, but I got myself the first The Last Kingdom book like 3 weeks ago and I already finished it lol - BUT! that means I can get the second book because obviously the more I read before the movie the better 😅
Ps: I literally suck at reading, I have like 10 books sitting on a shelf that never even opened but suddenly I get this book and read it in a matter of weeks 😂
#oh and I'm so excited to get to the part where Sihtric is introduced it's offensive#so apparently his book version is a little shit in the beggining but he's still my baby#...and can't wait to learn more about him aka whatever was left out in the show which is probably a lot#sorry I'm so proud of myself I had to get it out#kyra's ramblings
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