#ive wanted to be a writer since I learned how to read not because I liked to write but because my soul gets a little lighter when I do it

[gentil-minou]

When I was deep in a feverish haze all I could think about was Wei Wuxian's first illness post golden core transfer because cultivators never get sick so when wwx does for the first time he's absolutely awful at it.

Like he's walking around lotus pier trying to pretend he's fine but he's stumbling into walls and almost walks off the deck into the lake at some point. And of course everyone just thinks he's drunk or something cause cultivators don't get sick and wwx goes with it and laughs it all off, pretending he's hungover and absolutely fine, until he ends up shivering in bed until shijie brings him soup with a concerned look in her eyes he refuses to acknowledge.

When he gets better he cracks jokes and pretends it was nothing and hides his lingering cough in his sleeve.

With the Wens it's only a little bit better bc they do know about his core and Wen Qing is a doctor and can help him, but you see wwx can't lie down and rest how can he when there's so much he has to do?

He works as hard as he can, making sure to lift everything for granny even though his body aches and using all his energy to keep A-Yuan happy and distracted, in between moments of clearing resentment, all until he passes out in the middle of an empty path with no one around to see him fall.

Eventually Wen Ning finds him and carries him back wei wuxian wakes up to Wen Qing forcing some awful broth made of scraps of meat and yelling at him to go to sleep and rest. But of course the moment they're all asleep for the night he goes back to work. He can't rest there's no time, even as his head pounds and his body screams and the sickness eats away at his insides as the resentment does the same. There's no time for rest.

Post canon the first time Wei Wuxian gets sick he falls into a old habits and doesn't tell anyone, just continues puttering about and acting fine, distracting the juniors during their lessons and hanging off Lan Zhan's shoulders to tease him while he works.

But of course Lan Wangji notices the way his husband sways more than just with his usual dramatic swagger, and how he keeps shoving his favorite foods away saying he's not hungry as he rubs at his throat.

The final straw is when Wei Wuxian says he's too tired for their everyday but then plays it off as a joke at the look of concern Lan Zhan gives himso they do it anyways. And even tho Lan Zhan is tender and slow tonight Wei Wuxian still passes out from shear exhaustion before either have even finished

Lan Wangji has a moment of panic, thinking he broke his husband but then connects the dots...

When wwx wakes up he's smothered by their warmest blankets and wearing lwj's softest underrobe (because when A-Yuan was sick he liked to wear the robe too for the comforting smell and warmth). He looks around groggy and half asleep calling for his Lan Zhan, feeling bereft and confused.

He's about to get up and find him himself, even though the thought of getting up makes him feel dizzy when lwj comes back and glides to wwx's side with a bowl of congee that has just a hint of red in it. Wei Wuxian teases him about "there must be a rule about breakfast in bed Lan Zhan" and tries to get to his feet, but Lan Wangji pushes him down gently murmuring, "Rest, Wei Ying."

And suddenly its like the Jingshi has melted away replaced with the jagged stone walls of a familiar cave because Wei Wuxian you see he can't rest, there's things to do and people need him and he has to be strong he can't just rest he isn't allowed and what about the Wens he needs to get up he cant just lie here he needs to save them and he cant breathe and his head is going in awful circles and it feels like something is clawing its way out of him and he has to go do something and fix something, until Lan Wangji pulls him onto his lap and starts humming their song as he rubs soothing circles along wwx's back. And even though wwx's breaths are still coming out in terrified waves as his eyes dart around for some unseen threat, despite it all he starts to relax little by little to the sound of his Lan Zhan’s familiar baritone.

When he finally calms down enough he realizes he's been crying, blubbering like a baby leaving disgusting snot stains in the illustrious Hanguang-jun's robes and he tries to wipe them them away before Lan Zhan sees but lwj just holds his face between two hands with the most softesr care, his expression open and honest in a way it only ever is for Wei Ying, and he just keeps humming nonsense and nursery rhymes as he kisses wwx's tear tracks away. And tho wwx still can't stop crying lwj doesn't say anything, doesn't chide or lecture or tell him anything, just holds wwx and lets the smell of sandalwood wrap a comforting and warm embrace around wwx.

Eventually wwx does drift off and he comes to still huddled against lwj's chest, a lovely spot of drool right over his husband's brand and heart, as he reads a book about dual cultivation. It's past midday now and wwx asks about Lan Zhan's duties, fiddling with the edge of his forehead ribbon.

But Lan Wangji simply says, "Wei Ying is most important" and kisses his forehead and goes back to his book.

And Wei Wuxian burrows back into his husbands chest as if he tried hard enough he could carve a hole and bury himself besides Lan Zhan's heart forever, and pretends the flush he feels is from the fever.

They spend the next 2 days like that, with lwj guiding wwx back down to rest whenever the anxiety tries to make him feel bad and then comforting him through it all, kindly never pointing out the way every so often tears start to fall silently down wwx's face when he gets to thinking too much and even more kindly not pointing out the awful inelegant sound of wwx's honking wet coughs.

At some point Sizhui even visits, bringing an attempt at lotus rib soup using what Wen Ning remembers. It's not quite the same but it's more than enough and finally Wei Wuxian feels his shivers subside completely.

When Wei Wuxian wakes up on the 3rd day, well rested in a way he's never felt after being ill, he immediately jumps his husband and smothers his face in exuberant kisses that make Lan Wangji smile his special Wei Ying smile.

And although no one says anything Wei Wuxian knows deep within his gifted bones that from now on whenever he falls ill, there will always be someone to catch him.

(Orignally a threadfic here)

[eightspringdays]

Just saw a TikTok complaining about fanfics that didn't have "enough dialogue" because "reading more than three sentences" was hard.

I'm not against heavy dialogue-oriented fics; they are fun, but... that's a script. You want to read a fucking script, hope you know that. A writer isn't "bad" because they are... you know, writing. Just say it isn't your thing and move on, but categorize something as "bad" because you lack the ability to fucking read... ain't the author's problem; it seems like a "you" one.

[faerievampling]

hey! i just found your blog and just read all your stuff,,,, i’m in LOVE. you’re such a good writer!!!

saw that your requests were open and please ignore if this doesn’t vibe with you, but could i please request astarion (ascended or otherwise it doesn’t matter to me) headcanons (or whatever format that’s easiest for you) with a F!reader whose really insecure about her looks and body and her sexual inexperience? like she puts on a really tough front for the world, but when it comes to physical touch and intimacy she’s really nervous.

i’m so sorry if this is way too specific or weird or whatever literally ignore this. thank you so much and i hope you have a wonderful week my love <3

Hi thank you so much. I love doing these and i love this idea and IVE GOT YOU. I hope you enjoy ❤️‍🔥 disclaimer this is kinda just my stream of consciousness and what happened happened lol

Pairing: Astarion x F!Reader

warning: 18+! Explicit.

When you first met Astarion, his devastating beauty and intense flirtations intimidated you.

He was so gorgeous, and you thought yourself incredibly average, certainly not good looking enough to reasonably catch the eye of someone as beautiful as Astarion.

Not to mention—Astarion was so experienced, and you were just the opposite. You had very few sexual experiences, maybe even none at all. It only added to your insecurities about your looks and body.

You hid these feelings well, so much so that Astarion seemed non-the-wiser. He thought maybe you were just cold to him; so he worked even harder to warm you up.

Earning your trust and thus your body became a goal of Astarion’s, and he lavished all his attentions on you.

It irritated you, only because you couldn’t tell if he was being genuine with you. It hurt to think that he was just playing with you.

When Astarion finally sleeps with you, it was something you had both been waiting on, both been yearning for. Because of your cool demeanor and general reserved disposition, it takes you a while to finally trust Astarion. Of course, you had desperately wanted him since you first met him, but you had self control.

Astarion is slow to explore your body, which only adds to your vulnerability. He focuses on your breasts, your hips, all the little erogenous zones you didn’t even realize you had: your ear, the crook of your neck, the back of your knees, the space just above your tail bone on your lower back, even your toes, which he would massage one by one, despite how much it tickled you.

He focuses on making you feel exceptionally good the first night you’re with him, almost like he has something to prove. He’s never had to work this hard to fuck someone before. Poor Astarion! Don’t worry, he will get you back by using your body to pleasure himself. After the first night, you’ll surely be his forever, anyways.

After he’s done exploring the outside of your body, he focuses inward, using his fingers and tongue to explore your entrances. Astarion wants to know all of you. He is definitely the type to want to use all of your available holes if you’re ready and willing lol.

He will want to know the parts of you that have been unexplored by other lovers. This may even be a big deal to him.

But you’re shy, and you try to close your knees, try to cover your breasts or your belly, hiding yourself from him. But Astarion is so genuine in his attraction to you, and his hard cock will speak for itself most of the time.

Whatever imperfection you may have, I imagine Astarion to worship it, and he might even help you learn to love this part of you.

If you’ve told him about your insecurity, he’s very careful to help you overcome it and feel adored.

If you keep your insecurity from him, which I would imagine an aloof and bull-headed Tav to do, he quickly finds out from your first time together. As soon as he pressed his lips to yours, he can sense your hesitation, your walls going up as his hands find your waist.

You quiver beneath him, maybe you even pull away; but Astarion only brings you closer, chiding you for shying away from him.

“You are so beautiful, love, why would you ever shy away from me?”

Whether your a virgin or simply inexperienced, Astarion is very careful with your body: he cares for you, he wants you, and he will use his experienced digits and tongue in you, likely making you come even quicker than he had intended.

He’s endeared by it, humored by it, not laughing at you, per se, but with you. Your innocence cute to him. It just made him want to ravish you further, to see how else your sensitive body responds to him.

I think all versions of Astarion would be into corrupting you and teaching you how to please him, and even yourself.

Since the two of you have come to know each other fully in both body and soul, Astarion would love teaching you how to make yourself feel good. I love the idea of Astarion teaching his darling in the ways of pleasure.

Imagine, years after being with Astarion, the two of you are so happy and known. You would have forgotten what you were so worried about in the first place, because your vampire reminds you just how beautiful and fair you are each and every day.

[gisellecnz]

Hello everyone, I just want to confess something... I just felt like I did the most worst crime ever. (I'm sorry if how I'm writing this whole thing looks immature? and also on how I've been using wrong words to use. 😭) And it is something I want to start avoiding from now on.

As you can see, I am a minor. Yes a minor, probably way younger than you think... 😭 (but not too young though. I just don't want to tell my actual age.) (And also please continue reading before you do anything)

Ever since pandemic, its where people have been quarantined inside their homes for like, 2-3 years, right? And because of that most people do then was just be on their phones all the time.

I also did that–and now I've been exposed and influenced to a lot of things especially on social media. (I had unrestricted internet access ever since I was a kid)

I currently think about it a lot of times now, and it's actually so bad about how I got exposed by a bunch of things...even though I was so young. (like dirty jokes, etc.) And I think I have grown up way too fast... You can see it in how I typed in my other posts, and it's now how I naturally type. 😭

(Okay, I don't know how to explain this part well... Generally, I'm very bad at explaining. But I hope you guys somehow understand 😭. ) (Please ask me questions if there are things you don't quite understand, I don't really elaborate well when it comes to these stuff)

That was also the time i grew an obsession over anime. And I also had crushes on anime characters to the point I figured out people wrote fics about them. Like, "[character name] x reader" and then boom I figured about smut.. Pls 😭 I really didn't care about the "mdni" warning back then. (I don't know if I'm using this term right, but it's something like I got hypersexual? I'm sorry, but I think it's just something similar to that.)

And now I've become a writer as my hobby, I downloaded tumblr almost a year ago so that I could post my works and also read others fics.

And ever since yesterday i had realized something 😭. And I am so sorry about my behavior on this. Even though I'm not in the right age yet, I still readed smut. And smut is like.. Considered porn right? And most of the authors I follow, or people ive talked to in tumblr are like around 19+. Others are even in college and have their own jobs too. And one of my favorite authors is like 12 years older than me. And some authors I follow also write smut. I also ignored mdni parts in their works. 😭

So this is basically what happened (because I am very bad at explaining so I just put it like in a story way):

I am a minor who reads smut, which are only intended for adults. I knew it wasn't appropriate for me but I just brushed it off.

And then one day when I realized I was talking to older people, something clicked in my mind 😭. They are ADULTS. They are in the appropriate age to read smut. (I mean, of course, but I just brushed it off back then.) Then they had "mdni" in their bio. So, that realization made me uncomfy 😭. It's like I made a really huge crime. And I've also become an author on this app, I can't just go on without telling the truth. From now on I'll try to avoid reading smut. Guys it's basically like you're an toddler who suddenly gained consciousness

Again, I am very very sorry for just brushing off the mdni back then 😭. But I'll still continue to read the sfw ones only.

To the other authors there who write sfw and nsfw, please I promise you that I will only read the safe ones now and not the nsfw anymore. 😔 

But it is definitely okay if you want to block me. Thank you for reading this whole explanation! I've learn my lesson now 😭

I just readed this whole thing again and I realized how messy it looked... But either way I can't change it because its the most best way I explained this 😔

[i-just-want-to-destroy]

Thank you for walking study in demonology! Reading it brought me all the way back to the 2019 bnha era. Even tho im a chronic fandom hopper, every once in a while i got pulled back to the bnha fandom like a clinging abused ex gf, cause i feel like no other fandom has given me the same feels as bnha on ao3. It's probably partly because of bnha being a perfect sandbox for ficwriters, but damn you bnha writers are really sth else.

Your work is such an exquisite, heartfelt love letter to the fanfiction medium in general, and the bnha fandom in particular. I hope your pillow is always cool and your socks always come out of the washing machine in pairs.

What's your favourite part about the fic?

hi thanks so much for this ask! super appreciate the kind words :) i agree wholeheartedly i wldnt have started writing my bnha fics if not for the amazing fics ive read from this fandom.

short answer: my favorite part is the process.

super long answer:

(spoilers below fair warning)

demonology has been a learning process for me and also a very strange experience.

ive always been more of an improv writer where i dont really know where a story is going when i write it. with demonology being the way it is, you can surmise that its been a really crazy ride.

ive mentioned this before but it started as an idea of deku being just your typical satanic style exorcist, and as it is a crack fic, i did write it — at the beginning — purposefully to be nonsensical. all the made up “significant” stuff like affinity, authority, even the importance of names and all that — i didnt know what they mean and i didnt care either, i was just making them say whatever that sounded ominous and ridiculous. (often this is for the sake of comedic timing. it is crack after all.)

some comments say the fic didnt make sense, and i agree bc it didnt to me either. but then it DID start to make sense to me. whenever i started to write a new chapter id read back to whatever bullshit i did the previous chap and only then i understood what the hell the characters r talking about. if you look back to the earlier chapters there’d be a lot of foreshadowings, but they werent written to be foreshadowings at the time. its kind of foreshadowing in reverse, bc i only knew what they meant after i wrote them. i didnt know i was writing a meta multiverse time travel fic, but since i did, i had to commit and go crazy.

(in retrospect i think it rly did begin with hitoshi and that cat in ch 3. i didnt even know hitoshi was the “main character” until that chapter. i didnt know that cat was schrodingers cat until i wrote ch 8.)

so u can see how crazy, nonsensical and haphazard the entire writing process of this fic is, which in return gives birth to a crazy, nonsensical and haphazard fic. until its not nonsensical anymore. somehow, there actually is a clear logic in the mechanics of the universe. the cats are schrodinger cats, the demons are maxwell demons, entropies are plotlines which are often riddled with plotholes, the hell is production hell, to be in heaven is to be canonized — and lorem ipsum is the empty blank slate state of the universe. authority actually is authority. the fic gave meaning to itself by the end of it all.

comments ask if i waited for bnha to end — i didnt. bnha ending actually fucked a past version of ch 8, now scrapped. but then it actually … made a better version? and made more sense? its weird.

i did know about some things that were going to happen though. since the first time i had izuku do the “you believe [object] exist,” i always knew i wanted it to be turned back to him (“midoriya izuku doesnt exist”). after i wrote ch 6 i also knew i wanted them to “go back to the beginning” with izuku’s “fall” on the rooftop. but i didnt know until i wrote it that hitoshi was going to choose to fall, too. i know im the author but him choosing that shocked me and i found it moving.

if i had written this “properly”, if i had planned it all with better structuring and better pacing and emotional beats and all that — this might have turned out to be a better written story, in another world. as it is right now there are a lot of flaws that it has. but it wldnt have been the same fic. if not for this fuckass writing process, it wld never have reached the form it takes as of now.

and although it was a very difficult road, i can say wholeheartedly that this strange process has been my favorite part. im doubtful ill ever experience a writing process like this again. the story kept surprising me. a part of why i wanted to finish it was because i wanted to know how it ended too—bc i wldnt know until i wrote it.

of course, at the end of it all, none of us know what their ending is. in the end the story still didnt share its secrets with me and i really really love it for it.

haha this is so long sorry i guess this fic really means a lot to me after all. but yes, thats my answer.

i would also like to thank every reader and commenter once again bc i can honestly say without the feedback and support, this would not have been finished either, or become the way that it is. man. fanfictions, huh?

[muzanswaifu]

Ive seen a lot of people confuse me leaving for “people being mean to writers” or getting hate for the things i write of how i write them but its not

But Im not leaving just bc of the audience, i can handle some hate and honestly it was kinda fun from them bc ik that hate comes from jealousy and trolling

Im leaving because of other writers and my “friends”

Ik i said i would get into it and i really dont want to all that much bcuz im tired and just wanna be done with this but it feels wrong to leave under a false assumption and let people think their actions dont have consequences

Ive dealt with a lot from my peers on here, back talking, hating, straight up bullying, and i just cant anymore

I cant deal with drama irl AND on the internet, bcuz at the end of the day i can just delete everything on here and be done with it all so thats wat im gonna do

Tbh this has been building up for a while, i can only handle so much from “friends” and irl i cut people off pretty quick and on here should be no exception but ive fucked up and let people do watever too long and its bitten me in the ass

Yes ik im dramatic lol, ive gotten that a lot and a lot of people hate me for, a lot of people love me for it, its how i am and it keeps things interesting. I get it, i like to make a lot of call out posts. Y? Bc people deserve to be called out and idgaf ab appearances on here. If someone did something bad, im gonna call them out bc last i checked its my blog and i can do wat i want. If u wouldnt do it, thats fine, its ur decision, and this is mine

Yes, i dont post a lot, I. Am. Busy. I have work. I have school. I have a social life. I cant write smut all the time even tho i want to, and at the end of the day, its not my job to write smut all day so people can read it and move on. I like to interact with yall, its fun, i like to talk to a lot of different people on her since my irl friends arent really into anime. Apparently people think im a loser for that? Ok? Sorry i like to talk to people on the internet when im bored instead of producing smut all day for people to read, ig i shouldve remembered im only on here to provide content since i dont deserve to have some fun, my mistake

Requests? Requests r a generosity. So many of my requesters have been absolute angels with being patient in receiving their requests, happy to just see me writing or interacting at all. Others have hounded me regularly telling me im lazy and selfish for not completing my requests, saying im an asshole for not completing them over my own projects bc “they asked first”. LMAO, U WRITE IT THEN???? i dont owe anything to anyone, certainly not someone who comes here solely to read my fics, not even leaving any interaction or encouragement whatsoever, then leave.

The icing on the cake? The tip of the iceburg? Discord of all places. Im sorry some of u didnt enjoy my server, i really am. Ive never used discord before and me and the mods did the best we could and im sorry i couldnt be as attentive to it due to my busy schedule

Im sorry i couldnt get there in time to stop conflicts or just straight up call people out, and im sorry someone had to make another server since they didnt like how i was handling mine bc i didnt take their side in a fight that THEY WERE WRONG IN? But i tried to be nice, tried to defend her and nicely explain y she was she cant say anything they want in any situation bc people get hurt. but it didnt matter. Y? Bc apparently i cant tell people what they can and cant say…

And that made me realize something! Theyre right! Theyre absolutely right and im so stupid for not seeing it until now! I cant stop people from saying things to me. I cant stop people from talking shit ab me. I cant stop people from even saying things on my own blog and server! I just cant. Bcuz in the end, people r gonna say what they want and do what they want bc people dont wanna learn. They dont wanna talk. They dont wanna hear ab how what they do or say affects others. They just wanna do what the want when the want, and they wanna be allowed to, bc fuck everybody else. Everybody is the victim in their own story, and i deserve to be the victim in mine.

And what would a victim do in this situation?

Leave.

[tinypandacakes]

Helloo! I love ur fics sm u genuinely make my day better whenever u post. Ur such a talented writer and I can see how much work u put into ur writings and I admire u a lot. Ty for giving us some amazing art to read *chefs kiss* BUT ANYWAY enough of the sappy stuff lol I had a question abt König from ur series ‘Trapper Keeper’ and was wondering abt his past relationships or lack there of. Has he ever been intimate with another woman besides reader or were any of the women he has been with (if he has) were intimated by his size (also how big is he) and didn’t want to have sex?

Hi! Ahh thank you for saying so ☺️ you’re very sweet!

mildly NSFW and spoilers below for people who haven’t read yet ~

I’m not diving super deep into his social/sexual history in this story, but I HC König in his late thirties or early 40s. personally, I like him on the older end of that range, but I leave it vague so you can imagine what you like :3. probably some relationships here or there. he makes a comment about not meeting the right person when Hase asks if he has a spouse, so the assumption is he has never married.

It’s definitely possible his height and dick have intimidated partners in the past though 😭 and while he has learned to play nice through the years, his personality can come across as way too intense, so there’s that too

ive been trying to show that he’s definitely not some shy virgin, but it has been a while since he’s been with someone. Hase would assume that he’s probly only jerked off for the ~ two years he’s been at the cabin :( abusing his poor cock with his rough and calloused grip

He seems to know what he’s doing sexually but was rusty and anxious around her in the beginning [his hands shook the first time he undressed her when she was sick, when he touched her in the bath he was too rough/fast on her clit until she guided him] But now that he’s comfortable with her, he doesn’t want to take his hands off her. :3

He is not a sex god or something in this fic but is aware that he is bigger than average and doesn't want to break his toy before he's even gotten to play with it properly, y'know? That wouldn’t be fun for anyone. And the chase is half the fun, anyway….

But he is very eager and interested in making Hase pliant feel good! She is conflicted but internally admits to sort of liking it when he’s a little rough and scary, which :) suits König just fine :) because :) he does seem :) to have a teensy bit of sadistic streak in him…. :)

But really...it’s not his fault that Hase is so adorable when her big doe eyes are wide and full of tears, and she’s just looking up at him, willing and waiting for guidance 🥺 poor little thing...lost and confused. good thing König knows what she really needs 🐇💕

[needtoloveoutloud]

hey Becks! North_was_here here (pun intended). i mentioned in a comment on SPPF that i've been working on a fanart. i said i wanted to take my time to make it good...

well, i lied! (unintentionally)

i didnt take my time at all and finished it that same day, after about 4 hours (i think. could be more and closer to 5 or 6, as i'm using an older version of my program that doesnt track work time). i've just touched it up and decided id share it now before i can overthink anything else about it!

i recorded a timelapse (around 3 minutes) of me working on it but i dont think i can upload videos to tumblr via Ask. if you want to see it id be happy to share, i think i can just upload it on my own tumblr. I've literally never uploaded anything on tumblr before LOLOL

here it is! I'm quite happy with the result. heres a breakdown of the drawings, my struggles, extra info, stuff like that if you wanna read it!! (timelapse shows more detail and probably makes this whole breakdown make more sense):

before we start off, let me just clarify that since i'm getting back into art, ive been experimenting with different art styles (and with that using references) which is why some things look different than others in this drawing

I started with the left drawing (labeled with her hero name) with a pose reference, then drew her body and clothes. i used that ai image of Yoru you provided during the battle training chapter as reference for her hero suit. it was actually quite fun drawing it, especially the wrinkles in the clothing and such!! did her face, scars, eyes and then her hair (which i later redid as i was unhappy with how it came out).

the second drawing, the USJ attack, in the bottom right, is by far my favorite of these three. i used a reference drawing i found on Pinterest, and added some more detail to it and it turned out great. the hair was minorly tweaked from the reference, hence why it looks so much better than the other three's hair. i added her scars, and added the wound on her throat toward the very end of this whole project as i debated whether or not (or rather, how) i would draw it

the third and final drawing, top right, is probably my least favorite because its so simple, even though thats the point lol. i was thinking about making it an art of younger Yoru at first then decided id stick with older Yoru, so i made her hair longer, since i originally had it quite short on this drawing, and added her throat scar (i faded it out quite a bit, maybe more than i should've, as this is after the USJ). after all these drawings i shaded and added some more details

finally, after i added the watermark, title, your user and mine, i went back and polished it up (this is where i, as i mentioned earlier, changed the hair on drawings #1 and #2, added the shiggy scars, and even more details to make me more happy with it, and hopefully raise your chance of liking it) and now im here!

as im writing all of this, ive already noticed quite a few things id go back and fix up on this drawing, but im not going to because 1. by the time im done overthinking, SPPF would be finished lol and 2. i can go back and look at mistakes during future projects to learn!

anyways thank you so much, first of all, for even creating SPPF in the first place. This series is one of if not my favorite fanfics of all time. you're an amazing writer and i cannot wait for more chapters and things from you in the future. secondly, i really hope you like this fanart! this is actually my first time doing fanart for anything, but i plan to do more in the future - especially for SPPF. and hopefully, in the near future, i'll relearn how to color and render again to provide you with better art than this haha

feel free to include this drawing in the next chapter's notes. if not thats alright too! (that'd actually be such an honor tho not even kidding)

yap session over lol <3

NORTH! HELLO! 🙌

Sorry for the ultra-late reply, I just came back home from France and was out and about with work, walking through Marseille, and flying back home and all that, so it took me a long ass time to give your message the time it deserves! :(

This is so ridiculously AWESOME! I want to hug you and gently pat your head (maybe even give you a kiss on the forehead if you'd be comfy with that) because THIS IS SO DAMN AMAZING!!! 😍😍🥹

You got her hero costume down to a T! It's perfect! And the way she's standing kind of reminds me of her Dad's seemingly disinterested stance. And her scars and her face and expression!

The portrait is awesome, too! OMG I love it!

AND THE USJ ONE!

!!

It's perfect, shows her exhaustion and her empty stare so well! Like, her swollen eye and the dirt and grime and messed up hair and all that!

Now, personally, one of my most favorite things about your stunning drawings are the handprint-scars! I never managed to got them right and had such a hard time explaining the placement, and you did it exactly how I envisioned it in my head!

THANK YOU so much for this, North! I feel so damn honored that you (and people in general) draw Yoru! And put in so many details and thought behind everything, too! And since you said that it'd be okay for me to include it in the next Author's Notes, I'll definitely do it - thank you for allowing me :)

And thank you so much for your kind words, it makes me super happy to hear that you like the story so much! 🤍 Especially to such an extent that it inspires other people to get creative and bring the story to life even more. That fact is still so wild to me. I'm giggling like a schoolgirl (kicking my feet, twirling my hair, and all that!) everytime I get a new comment, even more somebody making art for the story. I love you readers all so much. People spending their precious time doing something like that is really moving

P.S.: Also, I'd love to see your drawing process! It's so interesting to see how people's brains work when they draw + I learn so much by watching it, too!

HAVE THESE FLOWERS AS A THANK YOU!

[megamindsecretlair]

I was wondering how you stay consistent with all the fics you be posting. Gurl give us the tea. You dropped like four back to back.

Lmfaooo, yall making me feel like im a fic addict 😭🤣🤣

See, what you do is meditate for 2 hours straight, praying on your muse to beam ideas and writing straight to your skull. Grab an acorn, a candle (your favorite scent), red twine, and a bottle of henny. And make a circle...lmfaooo jk jk.

TL;DR: my mind never shuts up 🫠 never turns off, never stops running, and that energy has to go somewhere, okay 😭

I wish I could take all the credit. I am the one writing it. But I have a close group of friends who let me vent out my ideas or give me ideas on how to improve. They listen to my nonsense, love yall so gd much 😗 @planetblaque @westside-rot @babybratzmaraj .

Other times, the ask is just so detailed, so rich, that it sparks some inspo and I get to writing. I am so in love with the creativity yall have on here. Completely blown away by these ideas you request!

It also helps that I went to film school and was taught how to think visually. You don't have to go to school for that, you just have to expand how you currently think about scenes.

Most times, as mentioned, my brain doesn't shut up. Even when I'm sleeping. There's this running commentary in my mind where I'm constantly turning over fics in my head. I think about scenes, I think about dialogue, I think about sex positions. Half the time, I'm scatterbrained irl because I'm too busy fucking in my head 🤣🤣

I write in my head, if that makes sense. I have these loose scenes in my head that I kind of play around with. I attack the scene from multiple angles trying to think of what sounds better.

Soo, when I sit down to write ive already done half the mental battle. I've already thought about the characters, the scenes, the motivations, the positions. It's just a matter of sitting down and writing it and it flows. I re-read my own writing all the time. But *way* after I've written it and moved on.

There's still moments where I have to pause and think about what comes next. Theres still times where I have to picture what tf is happening 🤣 or what's being said. Or what they're feeling at the moment.

Truth is, I just like to write. I've been writing since I was 11. It wasn't until I re-joined Tumblr at age 30 that I fell back in love with writing. I always loved it. But at a low point in my life, I felt hopeless that no one would ever want to read my writing. I thought I should've just quit altogether.

But by writing on here, I discovered that writing is for ME. If im having fun, then i know you will. I wont lie and say its not scary. I post overnight because I dont want the anxiety of seeing comments and reblogs trickle in 🤧 but the one rule I had for posting my writing, was to write for me. Write for the little girl who thought she couldnt. Write for the little weirdo who loves marvel and has anxiety and constantly feel like im being rejected. Thats who i write for. Thank God I didn't quit 😍🥹 I never would've met any of you. I never would've grown as a writer.

Being here with all of you, sharing my writing, seeing your reactions makes my fn day every day 😭 it's because of YOU that I felt confident enough to write a book.

I didn't get here by accident, I just write. And write often. And I read often. I learn from every single person that posts on here. I learn from all the feedback you give me.

My brain ought to do something useful since it doesn't know how to sit the fuck down 😩😩😩

Sorry this was long? Hope this helped? Feel free to ask more? Idkidk. Its still weird talking about myself. Thanks for this ask though 😗😗😗

[snowyroads]

Dude you don't know how much i love your joe'marr fics. they're my fav trope rn and you are feedingggg me. idk how you feel about writing public sex but you should definitely write a smutty locker room/ anywhere fic. either way, I love your writing and I can't wait to read your next story🩷

AHHHH. OMG TYSM!! 🤭🤭 I literally love writing about them, idk it’s something about them that makes it so easy to just write a whole freaking book lol.

I’ve always tried writing smutty scenes since before I even posted any of my fic on Ao3 but i always felt like they were to cringy. IDK. but ive learned to become more confident w my writing skills (literally only because ppl like you comment such nice things 🥹) so i always start a smutty scene and never finish it 😭 and it’s not because i dont want to BECAUSE I DO WANT TO! Especially with some of my joemarr fic, i’m just nervous sometimes that I won’t write the sexy times good, like there wont be enough chemistry or something yk?

BUT FOR YOU, i will write pure smut. I promise. it make take me a while to get over my writers block rn BUT I WILL DO IT. BEST BELIEVE ANON!! <33 (and if this sounds like ur forcing me to write it, i swear you’re not, i’ve been meaning to do it and you’ve given me the confidence to follow through!)

ALSO (sorry im rambling) pls feel free to always request anything!! I’m always looking for new prompts or ideas!! <3 (i kinda wanna do a koc/jj fic but ive never written a coach/player dynamic before so it scares me)

ANYWAY, TYSM AGAIN!! <333

[lily-alphonse]

hihi!! i read ur sandy fic literally today and i couldn't get it out of my head im so obsessed😭it hurts SO good i just finished rereading it again, and I was wondering, since Steve refuses to talk about his previous experience at the End, what actually happened there? :0 (sorry if this is smth that's easy to piece together I'm not very bright sometimes T-T) Also, did you have any ideas on stuff that happened in other cycles that you didn't end up including? Hehe, personally my headcanon is that for their first hug in a future reunion, Steve would try to hug Sandy for as long as he can before Sandy learns that it hurts him, so that he can get his proper hug dosage in. Sandy give that lonely man a hug damnit :') He's been waiting for like 3 lifetimes!!

EEEEEEEEE

Ok first, if you are reading this and haven't read Sandy: An Enderman Tale, here is the AO3 link, this is going to be a spoiler-filled discussion

And second I want everyone to know that fic writers DIE for this level of engagement, I'm deceased, melted into the ground and incredibly flattered, thank you 😭🪦

Now to answer

Oh gosh the End. Oh man. Well consider this, right. How many Enderman does the average player have to kill to even open the End portal?

😬

Lmao yeah... that's... not something Steve is proud of.

I hadn't put much thought into it before but here is how I imagine things would have gone before the events of the fic, which will also explain Steve's hangups surrounding the End.

Steve wakes up in the world of Minecraft with no memory. He only knows his name, and that he is not of this world. He begins as an even more reckless adventurer than he is now, and just wants to experience everything the world has to offer

He kills a ton of Enderman and uses their pearls to find and open the portal. He knows somehow this portal is his escape out of this world

He makes it to the End and dies in his first attempt to kill the dragon. It was a rash decision to even try, he isn't even all that certain he wants to leave this world yet. He intends to go back some day, maybe once he is tired of being immortal.

It is at this point that he meets Sandy. Sandy saves Steve, playing out much like chapter 1 except for more hesitance on Steve's part. They have a tenuous ally-ship, mostly held up by the fact that Sandy won't quit following Steve.

Steve is hesitant to accept that Sandy could be good because of all of the Endermen he's slain assuming they were mindless monsters. What if one of them was Sandy? What if they are all like Sandy?

While he is in denial and trying to process, Sandy just keeps following him. Like I'm imagining he even builds a base under a lake only for Sandy to pop in as soon as he builds a ceiling tall enough lol

Steve lashes out at Sandy in misdirected anger at himself. Ok wait Ive just decided something very dramatic, he strikes Sandy when they won't stop following him. He's almost surprised when Sandy subsequently goes insane and hits him back, and he actually ends up killing them.

Instant regret. The Enderpearl left behind fucking haunts him. He goes to the End again out of desperation. Maybe there is some kind of answer to be found there, maybe Sandy will respawn there somewhere.

He finds nothing. It's exactly like the last time. Just endstone and faceless Endermen and a dragon that wants to kill him. But in a way everything has changed since the last time he was here. HE isn't the same.

As a last ditch effort, or maybe feeling sorry for himself, he makes eye contact with an Enderman. Sandy doesn't come to save him this time, and he is ripped apart. It feels fitting, in any case, that they should have a tiny taste of retribution for what he's done to them.

A long time passes before he encounters Sandy again. He's decided he's not leaving this world. Clearly there is so much more to experience that he can't even fathom, if his friendship with Sandy was even possible.

When Sandy finds him again he is beside himself, and actually scares Sandy away with his intense reaction. So he learns to be more casual about it in the future lol. He also learns that explaining what happened at the End is a no-no, because when he mentioned attacking the Enderdragon, Sandy got angry and went away for a long time.

There is a lot of trial and error in this go around. Sandy would either die because of rain or getting in the way of a monster again. Or maybe they attempt the Nether and Steve learns, no more Nether, lmao.

I did want to expand on the concept of the End with that in mind. It becomes sort of a symbol of his past failures and who he used to be. Even the fact that he nearly killed the Enderdragon and escaped this place haunts him.

He still has a lot of growing to do, he still displays selfishness and recklessness, but his relationship with Sandy is steadily making him a better person.

I love that you have a headcanon that's so fun for me. I would also like them to have a very long hug BUT it wouldn't be in the beginning since Sandy is easily spooked at first. At the end of the last chapter, Sandy is more accepting of the physical affection. So it just takes a while for them to warm up to the idea. It would prbly also help if Steve didn't make them kill him at any point lol. I see them making hugs a regular thing in a future lifetime, as long as Star is sitting somewhere out of sight!

Thank you for your ask and your incredible support my heart is warm ♥️

[ceilidho]

How did you learn how to write so good 😭 I so badly want to write fanfics and headcanons, but I always feel like at the end of them they’re terrible haha. Do you use any references or anything for your writing?

no lmao ive been writing since the 5th grade ahahah it's just practice. i probably have tens of thousands of hours of work under my belt tbh. also, you probably only think your fics and headcanons are terrible because they come from you and you're scrutinizing them too hard - your writing is probably not anywhere near as bad as you think. it's just very easy to be hard on yourself.

i mean i definitely do like "study" writing when im reading a book, like i learn new words that way, different expressions and phrases - i try to analyze how people write "twists" in a book or revelations to understand what makes it work and that sort of thing. but at this point, i don't really need references, i just have to think a bit about it and put in the work. but yeah, you are always learning! that's why it's still important to read a lot as a writer.

[commander-gloryforge]

hm (kinda a rant/vent/i just wanna get things off my chest and actually TALK about whats been bothering me)

so. theres this person that has kind of been the cause of my recent mental lows/imposter syndrome getting worse/fear of connecting to people and general distance from literally every community i enter. i think ive ranted about them before. theyre a writer and in a community i used to be active in, and in the beginning i got along pretty well with them because we both enjoyed similar themes and metaphors in our writing but they ended up kind of dropping me, coincidentally at the same time they gave my actual writing/current wip a shot, and ever since then theyve been sub posting about me in really weird and elitist ways and it kind of had ruined my spirit, especially considering that i did really look up to them as a writer since theyre very into actual technicalities, writing theory, they speak about writing very academically. their odd vague posting ended up seriously knocking down my confidence and ive been spiraling into this strange mindset ever since that i’m incredibly stupid/can never improve/am not a real or proper writer by virtue of the things i write. they talk highly about writing techniques and concepts every writer needs to know, very subtly punch down at those who dont seem to know, yet dont care to make that knowledge easy to understand or accessible to obtain.

on top of that theyve been getting quite close with another new friend i made recently thats very dear to me and seeing them talk about things i cant seem to keep up with because i am too ‘stupid’ has just made me very anxious and brought up old feelings and fears that ive worked very hard on to let go off. this person is keeping me from interacting with a community i love because i cant seem to get ovr the fact that some people just dont like me, because im getting paranoid, because i think their every word is directed towards me, because theyre popular and well liked and everyone always agrees with them, even when what they say goes against what what i do and like.

it really sucks, its been bothering me so much, especially the fact that i cant just let it go. that i cant just ignore them and move on and do what i like without feeling like its wrong or cringe or weird. everytime i think im ready to go back i suddenly see them talking again with my friends that have offered me so much support whenever ive opened up about my struggles and now they suddenly agree and praise that person for having opinions that directly oppose me and the things they were so keen on supporting me on.

but recently i remembered something they said. they said that they dont want to be self indulgent in their writing, that ‘there’s nothing necessarily wrong with self indulgence but it reflects in the writings quality’, that you can ‘tell’ and they dont like that. when they first posted that i just read it and went. oh :( my writing is self indulgent :( does this reflect in my quality as well? is that why they dropped my writing and me, because i like being loud about self indulgence and cringe? and now i remembered that post, and suddenly it kind of clicked

this person very obviously does not write for the same reason as i do. they very obviously do not feel about writing thhe way i feel about it. they talk about it as though it is a science. like its something that needs to be perfected. now, it’s clear that they do love writing, that they have a passion for it, and their technical knowledge very much reflects on their art- and that impresses people. im not like that. i want to learn writing techniques and i want to improve my craft and i want to be taught, properly so, i obviously want to be a good writer, and im going to be a little self obsessed and say that i am a good writer, or at least not a bad one. but there is a difference in how each of us sees writing.

i want to be self indulgent. i want to write what i love. i fucking love writing and story telling and yes, the fact hat my writing is self indulgent does impact the quality of my work, because it makes it better. i am passionate about my worlds and stories and characters because its exactly what i want it to be and thats why is fucking good. because it makes me want to put effort in and learn how to get better. i dont write for a grade, i dont write to make something perfect and deep and meaningful and serious, i dont write to impress someone, i dont write to squeeze as many smart things and references to classic literature in as i can, i write because i want to fucking write what i like.

so im stupid. so im cringe and bad and insecure and a loser and i dont fit into the good writers club but at least what i write makes me happy. whatever. let some fucking whimsy into your life and stop treating me like im an idiot for having different motivations than you.

[chososdiscordkitten]

PLEASE GIVE ME SMUT WRUTING TIPS..GOJO BREEDING KINK MADE ME WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR MYSELF. (EVEVN IF U DONT LIKE GS BREEDING KINK, ITS ONE OF UR BWSTS) PLEASE GIVE ME DIALOGUE WRITING HELP. HELPPPPP DONT LEAVE ME HELPLESS

UHHHH smut writing tips... hmmm. (yapping below the cut)

this may sound very wrong and not pc BUT, ive been reading smut for years. Since I was like 10, ive read countless different writing styles, and millions of words of pure filth.

And as I read them I developed a taste of what I like and don't like- I write in a way as though I am reading to the reader- you/your/yours, because I don't like y/n or I don't like using third person pov nor first person.

What I do- is I think of the scene, picture it and if I can't get a body part- or a hand placement correct, I go look at porn videos or hentai- whatever. Not because i derive like arousal from it- but I truly use it as a form of studying. (im asexual)

I also use shows, movies and songs for inspo- certain lyrics I can picture on x character I write down.

I find it helpful to use a physical notebook for my ideas, there are times I don't have access to my computer so actual paper helps.

And as for dialogue, I try to keep a mix of x characters physical state while they speak, an example;

("blah blah blah" she said, and he said "blah blah" and then-) ive never liked this specific kind of writing so I include the way their eyebrows furrow- or the way their nose crinkles after saying something.

with smut I think its helpful for the reader to picture the way x characters face churns, a trembling bottom lip, dilated pupils, it helps make everything seem more intimate and inclusive for the reader.

And when it comes to describing the way something feels- if its something small like a trailing touch- I take a second and do what im writing about onto myself-

example; if im writing about a gripping hand on a hip- ill press the tips of my fingers onto my thigh to see the way the skin indents and how it feels? (embarrassing)

One thing ive learned- just because you write it with a specific image in mind- doesn't mean people will be able to see it the way you do unless you provide details.

usually when im doing laundry or at work a specific sentence pops into my head that id picture x character saying.

Let's use gojo for example, in my head when I think of his dialogue I think of playful, sweet, but with kinda mean undertones. Because in the anime/manga he keeps a playful tone while saying some very mean things.

once ive finished a very rough first draft- I spell check everything and read it outloud to myself- I say the dialogue in the tone I pictured while writing to be sure it sounds correct. and if it doesn't I brainstorm different phrases or words. (use of different words is soo important.)

And once ive corrected any words that don't fit together- or changing certain things that make me squint- I feed it into Siri nd have it read it to me outloud while I follow the sentences.

I do this 3-4 times till the whole thing sounds correct and how I mean for it to be read.

And I do one final skim once I paste the story onto Tumblr.

it's a tedious process, I know, there's times where im on my 4th reread and it seems boring or uninteresting- but only because ive reread it a million times and combed through it carefully.

There are times where I think my writing sucks because it seems over processed it and it's not entertaining- but!!! I proceed regardless.

And remember- you shouldn't write for the likes of other people, write for yourself and to your likings.

The masses shouldn't tell you what you should enjoy writing, pls don't take this as rules or as like a demanding thing- this is just my personal experience and the way I like to do things.

Writing should be a fun hobby and something you do to get the filth out of your mind, nd im not a very big writer on here, so don't listen to me too much

thank u for the question :>>> (I know how it feels to reach out for some help anon, im happy you enjoy my writing enough to ask me this, ily)

[kvothbloodless]

As someone who’s followed you for a long time, and a fellow writer….do you genuinely support chatGPT? Even if it has been proven to scrape people’s writings without their consent? And the fact that its a soulless husk of what actual writing is?

So Ive done my best to avoid AI discourse, but I am bad at it. So to put it clearly.

I dont Support chatgpt specifically. Its a program made by a corporation because they can make a profit from it, and curtail its capabilities in line with their goals. I use it sometimes because its fun ans convenient, but I dont pay for it or anything. I think pretty much all legitimate concerns about AI are really just concerns about corporate ethics, at which point the AI specifically becomes irrelevant

I also dont really think the situation in general is one where "support" is the right word to use; its like asking if I support cameras.

I want to be clear im not trying to be vague though; i think in general AI is pretty cool, and that 99% of the arguments against it are factually incorrect, based on inconsistent or bad moral frameworks, or both. Im not going to get into all the reasons AIs are cool, since I dont feel up to doing a Big AI Post, but I do want to gesture vahuely in the direction of how much more accessible this makes artistic creation and experimentation, and all the insanely fun things people can use AI for. However, i do want to address the common arguments against it, especially since it feels like a lot of people are just misinformed and falling into the very easy tumblr trap.

1. Scraping fics without consent: if you post something on a public site for the public to read, and someone downloads it to read it, its not stealing. Tumblr is generally pretty firmly against strict copywrite laws, so its a bit weird that so many people are Very concerned about AIs "stealing" their work in a way thats even less direct than fanfiction. Like, "your writing is so in character" and "wow youre really good at imitating the authors writing style" are common compliments on fics.

To be clear, there are absolutely ways of interacting with free public content thats bad (like reposting). But AIs arent frankensteining stuff together, or copy pasting anything; they literally could not do that. The training/model files are so insanely tiny compared to the amount of training data that it would be impossible for them to be storing that sort of thing. An AI learning from your writing isnt really any different than a human reading your writing, going "oh I like that" subconsciously, and using that to inform their future writing.

Whats that quote about "to get better at writing, read more"? If you believe that statememt is accurate, then Im a bit confused how youd be upset about an AI "reading" your writing and learning from it?

All of the Actual ways this could be used badly (copying someones art style and then selling art cheaper, etc.) arent actually unique to AI (a person can also do that!), and also usually arent really a thing thats happening enough to be a problem (most people who want art from an artist enough to commission them, are going to want it to actually be done By that artist). Using AI to make an original work, or even to finish a fanfic someone else wrote, is no more theft than if you did it by yourself.

2. "Soulless Husk": im sorry im genuinely trying my best here to be gentle and respectful, but this talking point genuinely makes my blood boil a bit, so im not trying to get personal or insult anyone specifically. Claiming that art made by humans is automatically deeper, that art is all about Meaning and Struggle, comes off as extremely pretentious and just doesnt engage with the reality of art. Im having trouble articulating a good argument here, but like. Art doesnt have to be deep, it doesnt have to have a Message, and the necessity of struggling in order to learn about and create art is an unequivocable bad thing.

Many many people make art (visual, written, etc.) becuase they want to see or read something cool or because they think others will find it fun. Many many people who would like to create art do not do so because it requires talent/practice that they are not willing to put the time and effort into developing, and this is not a moral issue. As Ive said before, laziness is a virtue and self-indulgance is a goal we should aspire to. Using a tool to make the incredibly fun act of creating easier and more accessible is awesome.

Also, who gets to define what "actual art" is? Genuinely seems a bit arrogant and presumptuous to declare that something is or is not "actual art" based on your own preferences.

The posts that Really annoy me are the ones that are like "cant understand the people RPing or playing a TTRPG with AI becuz its soulless. I only ever RP with other people because the fun part is being social or collaberatively building story" or whatever. Cool. I rp and play tabletops because i like to have fun and I enjoy those activities. Im gonna be honest, i find it a bit offensive and kinda.. dumb, to act like its somehow morally superior to only enjoy oneself in a way that Builds Community or Has A Meaning. People do meaningless things because they enjoy doing them and so long as no one is being hurt, thats fine.

3. Replacing workers: This is the only argument that has Any weight, but its still a bad argument. Its absolutrly true that AI is gonna put people out of work. The fact that more people will be out of work and struggling is a bad thing. This is also what happens when literally any new technology is developed, dating all the way back to the industrial revolution (at the Very latest). Automation is almost always a massive net benefit to humanity (im aware this topic could be its own series of posts but You Know What I Mean, please dont start industrialization discourse here), and the fact that it puts people out of work isnt actually an argument against it. Lots of radio operators lost their job when telephones were invented, but that doesnt mean people should have never used the telephone and obstinately stuck with radios. When phone technology advanced, a lot of phone operators lost their jobs, but that doesnt mean people were Morally Wrong to use the new developments that made phones far more convenient.

As in all things, el problema es capitalismo; AI isnt preventing anyone from doing art, its just reducing how many people can get paid to do their art. The correct solution to automation putting people out of work is not to stop the wheel of tech development, but to change society so that one doesnt have to slave away in order to survive.

This also raises the adjacent point, which is that halting tech development like this is impossible. Once the cat is out of the bag, its not going back in. AI tech is going to develop and become more widespread and theres literally nothing you can do to stop that. If you want to be upset about that, its your perogative ig, but im gonna be excitedly waiting for the dam to break and we get an open source LLM that I can use without worrying about data privacy or corporate filters, so I can have fun and RP however much I want and finally be able to write the stuff I want to write but cant do on my own because I have adhd and chronic fatigue, and Id kinda prefer if people stopped trying to rain on my parade because they think im not having fun or creating art in the "right way".

EDIT: I did want to add one more thing! A US court ruled that you cant copywrite something created completely by an AI, and i think thats an awesome move and I hope it gets expanded a bit and spreads elsewhere. This isnt a position based on whether something produced in this way counts as "real art" or is morally bad or whatever, I just think that reducing corporate and IP grasp on anything is good, and that AI specifically is going to be most enjoyable when its free and open source.

[flwoie]

please read!!

helloo. i don't announce stuff like this because 1. i keep my words to myself and 2. the majority of my audience are engenes. however i just want to say that i no longer want to write for enhypen (after almost two years of writing for them wowzer). i have no hate against the group itself but i've only been a casual listener of kpop and the only groups ive been keeping up with are my ults (loona, svt, and &team) so im not following enhypen content lately and i don't know what their current personalities are like so i'm writing with what i remember.

however, it's mainly due to the community. ever since joining enhablr, despite all the nice people ive seen with, most of it was just filled with drama and it was just a toxic environment. although i was never involved in situations that happened, i see others getting involved when they haven't done anything wrong and it always pained me to see them go through that. i hate having to bring these situations up, but since last year, i've seen stuff like sexualizing idols and minors, doxxing minors as well, hating on others because of their age, encouraging racism, and a lot more deep stuff. stuff like this still surface on the community and it just disgusts me.

you might be wondering why i can't just keep writing for them but not interact, and that's impossible for me since tumblr is all about interacting with others as a writer (meaning talking to readers, supporting other writers, etc etc). in other terms, i'd have to include myself in the community either way which is the last thing i want.

plus staying longer in a community like this killed my excitement and motivation to write for them because what was the point in satisfying them when I couldn't get the same feeling in return. call me petty, selfish, or whatever horrible things you can say about me, i don't care and i will never apologize for speaking the truth. you have ruined the happiness of not only me, but for writers and readers in this community.

i am not discussing this for myself, or to cause some sort of dramatic leave, but im doing this for the ones who are afraid to speak about this issue and for the ones who are not aware. and before someone calls me out and says i'm a part of the toxic side of enhablr, i have never once started drama or been involved in one and most of the time i was inactive or went on other sides of tumblr (because if you haven't noticed, the last time i wrote for enhypen was back in december, excluding love in disguise).

if you feel offended by my words, maybe it's cause you're the one who's engaging in the toxicity, so feel free to block me or unmoot me, i don't tolerate this behaviour on my blog. i'm not saying ALL parts of enhablr is toxic but if you want to make a community be seen in a good light, start by being aware of what your peers like and dislike and put consideration into how they feel, because at the end of the day, we're all just imperfect humans living life. so please, learn how to be a better person for yourself and others.

after i finish love in disguise, it will be the last time i'll ever be seen in and want to see enhablr.