#I can't think of another series that had me laughing and crying this much at every turn

[leafy-m]

Finished my reread of Fullmetal Alchemist

[neptuneiris]

Behind the Scenes (01/05)

Behind the Reencounter

pairing: actor!aemond × fem!reader

summary: Due to your work as a make-up artist and wardrobe assistant, you meet Aemond, a very successful young actor with whom you work and all professional relationship breaks down and a secret relationship arises, until you get pregnant and decide to run away from him so as not to ruin his successful and promising career. After almost two years, you and he unexpectedly meet again.

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hello! i'm back with another mini series! yay!

god, i'm so excited about this, it's nothing like what i've written before but the excitement and inspiration got the better of me.

also i must say that i had seen stories with this plot about daddy aemond and i wanted to make my own, adding angst, which i know you like and a story that i came up with that i really hope you like a lot:)

without more to say, enjoy beautiful people, I look forward to your comments, don't leave me without knowing what you think please!

warnings: angst, language, sexual content, smut

Your state of nervousness and anticipation is not much of help when it comes to the first day of your new job.

The film studio is a world of constant activity and you know that just on your first day it's going to be hectic. At least in your area which is Wardrobe and Makeup, it's a completely active area and you have to be available almost all the time.

You let out a long breath and before you leave, you stop in the studio's small nursery where your son, Aenar, barely a year old, spends his day while you work on set.

You can't help but watch him with adoration, a certain sadness and longing, for nothing would make you happier than to stay here with him, but you know you can't afford it.

These last few months have been hard, your income has been complicated and you need the money from this new job to be able to survive and make sure nothing is missing for him, your little boy.

Aenar crawls on the floor, exploring the world around him, while the woman in charge keeps her distance from you and him, taking care of other children. And when his big, curious blue eyes look up at you, he lets out a giggle of joy and stretches out his arms to you.

You bend down with him and take him in your arms tenderly and adoringly.

"You don't want me to leave, do you?" you murmur fondly as you leave a kiss on his cheek.

He babbles excitedly, unable to formulate coherent words, but his smile completely lights up your insides and you respond with giggles and smiles.

You take advantage of the little time you have before work to play and laugh with him for a moment. But eventually your time to leave arrives.

You leave a kiss on his forehead and with a sigh of defeat, you say goodbye.

"Mommy has to go but she'll be back soon, okay, my little dragon?"

His little hands explore for a second all over your face, making you laugh and you leave a couple more kisses on both of his chubby cheeks, loving to hear his laughter and loving to see the huge smile he places on his pink lips.

"I love you, sweetheart."

You leave one more kiss on his forehead and make sure one last time to cover his head well with his cap, taking advantage of the fact that it's November and Winter has arrived to hide his straight hair.

You distract him with all the colorful toys that are distributed on the floor for all the children and take the opportunity to leave, otherwise he will cry if he sees you leaving. You exchange a look of understanding with the woman in charge and finally head back to your workplace.

The trailer door opens with a soft creak as you enter, feeling the mixture of excitement and nervousness run down your spine. You had been looking forward to this moment with anticipation, but also apprehension.

For you knew that your past would come back to haunt you.

But you know you need to be here.

The first thing you see are the lighted mirrors with their respective chairs and vanities in front of them, where makeup and wardrobe experts hurry to prepare the actors for the day's filming.

A scent of pressed powder and beauty products fills the air, creating a familiar atmosphere. And when you barely have time to absorb the scene, a brown-haired girl approaches you with an enthusiastic, warm smile.

"Hi! Y/N, right? The new makeup artist."

She points at you with her index finger and a thoughtful look, without wiping away her smile.

"Hi, yes, it's me," you nod to her, as you return the small smile.

"Perfect! I'm Jess, the wardrobe assistant," she extends her hand to you in a friendly gesture, "Nice to meet you and welcome!"

You can't help but be relieved by the friendly reception, then shake your hand with hers.

"Nice to meet you too, Jess. Thank you for having me."

"Oh we're so excited to have you here, I've been looking forward to your arrival," she confides, "Let me show you where you can drop your stuff off and then I'll give you directions, okay?"

Again you nod, grateful for the kindness of Jess, who leads you toward a row of lockers where you can store your things, then gives you directions.

"First, let's go over the schedule for the day," she tells you, opening a folder with the itinerary for the shoot. "We have this first scene where we need to make sure every detail is perfect. And you'll be in charge of the wardrobe for the main characters today."

She indicates without losing the kindness in her tone and you nod, understanding.

"So, take the wardrobe list for each actor and check that we have everything in order."

He hands you a detailed list, making sure that you with your new addition are aware of every detail.

"After that, we'll move on to makeup," she instructs you, "Sam, our talented makeup artist, will give you a brief orientation on the look we're going for. Don't worry, she's amazing and will guide you through the whole process."

Jess grabs a pair of robes and hands them to you.

"Now, let's get to work on the wardrobe. When you've gone through everything, head over to the makeup area, okay?"

Again you nod, understanding the directions perfectly and dive into your tasks with enthusiasm, getting off to a very good start and feeling completely comfortable.

Besides, this is nothing you haven't done before, as way back when you used to work for the BBC television network right here in King's Landing as well, this was your job, so there's nothing new or complicated for you.

When Jess, frantically going through her checklist, looks up at you.

"Oh, Y/N, we need more pins for costume fixes. Could you go to the prop depot and get a package, please? I'd really appreciate it."

You nod with a small smile.

"Sure, I'll be right back."

With a determined pace, you step out of the trailer and head to the depot which isn't far away and start looking for the package, which you didn't think would take you some time since there are so many packages of different things mixed up.

You search through many huge boxes, until you finally find the package of pins and let out a relieved sigh.

You leave the huge room and close the door behind you, walking back. And as you walk, as you pay attention to your surroundings, you feel a mixture of nostalgia and nervousness, as these hallways, permeated with the buzz of film activity, take you back to memories you've been trying to bury.

You let out a long breath, not wanting to think about it now, and concentrate on your work.

As you enter back into the trailer, everything is immersed in a constant murmur of conversations and the activity of preparations, at the same time as the trailer door closes with a soft click behind you.

You are about to enter the area where the tables and chairs and mirrors and everyone else are when you hear a somewhat familiar voice in a distant echo in the middle of it all, completely stopping your footsteps.

"…they said at the training scene I wasn't supposed to look any different in particular."

You frown, thinking that maybe you're mishearing and are mistaking that voice for someone else's.

But still you advance just three steps, sharpening your hearing with a wary face, waiting, wanting to make sure.

"And which one of these for that scene?" you hear one of the girls in charge of wardrobe.

You wait for the answer from that attentive and completely cautious voice, thinking that it must probably be a figment of your mind that wants you to believe things that aren't.

"I think the brown one," you hear that voice say back to the girl.

Your heart stops completely in that instant.

No.

It can't be.

You think completely incredulous and terrified.

You stand completely paralyzed and with a face of total shock as the sound of that voice continues to echo softly throughout the interior of the trailer, flowing conversation between him and the makeup artist.

The pulse in your throat beats with a mixture of surprise and anxiety, suddenly losing strength in your body, so you lean against one of the walls as you feel an emotional vertigo begin to emerge.

All those buried memories, suddenly resurface, as it is no imagination of yours and you know it is him because his voice has not changed and you could recognize it anywhere.

It is him.

He is here.

You close your eyes for a moment, trying to regain control of your emotions, but you can't, and you can't believe this is happening right now, on your first day of work.

Completely cautious, you slowly peek out, wanting to be even more sure and wanting to see that it's all just your mind making it up.

But as soon as you catch a glimpse of that signature flash of platinum hair, your heart rate begins to race faster than normal.

And there he is, with his hair pulled back in a small low bun as he discusses the details of the scene with the makeup artist, a scene that resonated with similarities to moments you and he shared in the pass.

Disbelief completely invades your eyes and your entire face as you watch him, surprised to see him after exactly one year since that day. You notice every gesture and every feature that is still etched in detail in your mind.

He, oblivious to your presence, continues the conversation, but something in your expression begins to tremble.

You go back in time to the spark you both shared in the corridors of that studio, the looks of complicity, the many nights you shared together and the whispers in the dim light of the dressing rooms.

But you also remember that day, when you saw him completely frustrated but willing to be there for you, where his manager and his entire team talked to him about the consequences and you also remember everything he promised you, on hidden, which is why you decided to run away when you were only three weeks pregnant with him.

A lump forms in your throat and standing there, watching him, after so long, tears begin to invade your eyes.

But Jess announces your presence as she emerges from the back where the dressing rooms are, watching you at the entrance completely static and with a look she can't instantly identify.

"Y/N! There you are! Did you get the pins?"

And that's when it happens.

Saying your name loud enough for everyone inside the trailer to hear, it catches his attention, who confused and attentive watches where Jess is heading and that's when the gazes meet.

And in that instant, a spark of recognition crosses the face of Aemond, Aemond Targaryen, the man you decided to run away from so as not to ruin his career and the father of your child.

His healthy eye opens wide and surprise and disbelief overcome him as he sees you, right there, less than five meters away from him, the woman who carried his child with her and whom he sought so much after she disappeared completely from his life.

Silent, with the urgency of tears threatening to overflow, you step back, watching him cautiously and fearfully, at the same time beginning to tremble all over.

"Y/N," he utters your name with a tone of surprise and longing, as if he can't believe it, beginning to slowly rise from the chair.

You recoil further, as all the sadness, pain and anguish wash over you as you remember the past and think at the same time of your son, your sweet little boy.

However, your first instinct is to run away. Again.

Without a word and without looking back, you turn around and exit the trailer quickly before you could no longer hold back and tears involuntarily flow from your eyes, taking with you the image of Aemond and the echoes of a past you cannot escape and forget.

You don't care about your job, you don't care that you left everything just like that, you only think about running away and going quickly for your son, crying and completely terrified.

Aemond watches you walk away, unable to move and unable to speak, with a look of deep disbelief, surprise, bewilderment, regret and remorse while the people around him do not understand anything.

He knows that he made many mistakes in the past and he knows that you have a right to feel upset and hurt. But he also knows that you also made mistakes and you recognize that too.

But for now, you run away and he stands still, losing strength, where you both barely process what just happened and at the same time travel to the past, where it all started and where it all ended.

ALMOST 2 YEARS AGO.

At just twenty-one years old, you barely graduated from college and landed a great job opportunity with the BBC television network to work as a professional makeup artist and wardrobe assistant.

And now at the age of twenty-two and having been working for the network for two years, your life couldn't be better.

You have the job of your dreams, you have achieved so much despite the fact that your parents had no faith in you for choosing to study something that didn't guarantee you a future, and now your income is enough to allow you to live an independent life where you lack nothing.

When then, a new project comes up, a new TV series where you participate full time and where you are passionate about what you do.

That's when you meet him, one of the main actors of the show, Aemond Targaryen, a young, successful twenty-four year old actor who has already attracted the attention of the show business in his early days with a very promising future.

But it was not only for his incredible talent, he was also recognized and attracted a lot of attention for his unusual appearance, beautiful bright blue eye and a peculiar long platinum hair.

In his interviews he explains the origin of the genetic descriptions of him and his family, which is what causes a lot of doubt in every interviewer and also in his fans, wanting to know his origin.

That's why when they tell you that you will be assisting him in his makeup and wardrobe, you can't help but feel nervous but also a little excited to work with him.

And when the day finally arrives, Aemond Targaryen is actually quite a nice and accessible man to work with.

In the first few weeks of working and shooting the show, your interaction with him was completely professional.

You take it upon yourself to bring out the best in his image for the screen, where he does his part, always being friendly, willing and cooperative with you to follow directions and achieve the perfect look.

Always both of you at the beginning had normal and casual conversations to start forming trust, where everything becomes routine.

And it's not until he would say anything silly to make you laugh and where you both got to the point where you allowed yourselves to talk completely freely without being judged.

The shared laughs and casual comments created a comfortable and relaxed atmosphere, where the relationship started to become more friendly and slowly stopped being so strictly professional.

And when you least expected it, you looked forward to working with him, doing his makeup and wardrobe, enjoying his company.

Even when he would arrive first at the trailer to get ready, he would look forward to your arrival.

And when you arrived, you couldn't help but smile a little shyly in his direction because of his intense gaze on you through the mirror, making you feel a little nervous.

As you carefully applied his makeup, Aemond couldn't help but notice that attention you paid to every detail on him, having you so close to his face, being a moment he also longed for it to come.

And as the days passed, accidental brushes and gestures that went beyond professionalism began to emerge.

During makeup sessions, the glances became more intense and prolonged, as if you were looking for something beyond the superficial appearance, where you noticed how he was looking at you beyond the professional surface.

But it wasn't something that bothered you, on the contrary, it made you feel inexplicable sensations that at the same time pleased you, knowing perfectly well that he wasn't like that with anyone else in your area, only with you.

And you both also made sure to act that way only when it was just the two of you or to do it subtly when you were around other people.

But you also knew the dangerous game you were both playing.

However, it was too late, you really started to like him too much even though you knew that the idea of him and you could not be possible.

In the film industry, relationships between colleagues are technically not allowed or frowned upon. Rumors and speculation about romances can alter fan perceptions and, in some cases, affect job opportunities.

In addition, you both have studio contracts and other projects in progress. And acting in such a way, where the intention of both is more than clear, can affect casting decisions and the perceptions of directors and producers.

And for Aemond, being an up-and-coming young actor with a solid fan base, the revelation of an affair can bring negative criticism to his public image.

His manager and team have told him that maintaining the coveted bachelor image may be convenient and commercially advantageous for him in his projects to attract audiences, as he is attractive and very talented.

Even though he had an accident as a child where he lost his left eye and now wears a prosthesis, that attracts more attention from people and they want to know more about him, causing him to be more relevant.

But all this mattered little to Aemond as he shared more moments with you.

As the relationship became more enjoyable, his feelings and emotions became more and more evident and so did yours, starting to overcome the barrier imposed by the entertainment industry.

And one day that line of professionalism that both were trying to maintain but was becoming increasingly difficult, finally broke down completely.

On a filming afternoon, you and Aemond meet in the wardrobe area, where you make sure he looks perfect in his required clothes for the day and he stands completely still, cooperating and watching you at all times.

The conversation between the two of you flows naturally, as it has so many times before, but this time, something in the air seems different, like a gentle tension.

"After we finish this final scene, we should go celebrate, don't you think?"

He suggests with a soft little smile, but his eye reflects an intensity and that desire he can't hide when he's with you.

"Sure," you say with a willing little smile, still securing his clothes, "With John, Rose and Lana?" you mention your partners.

"No," he murmurs, shaking his head softly, "Just you and me."

You look directly into his eye with a slightly surprised and bewildered look, not expecting to hear that, beginning to feel nervous at his words and also at the proximity of the two of you.

"But…" you look at him a little incredulously and with a small sad and disappointed smile, "We can't."

"Yes we can," he tells you softly, "We just have to be very careful and not tell anyone."

You watch him with a small spark of amusement on your face, smiling softly in his direction, not believing he's serious.

And it is at that moment that the looks on both of your faces makes it clear that the connection you both share is deeper than you both believed and where Aemond, more than anything else, makes his true intentions clear and wants to put them into practice, after so long.

A complicit silence surrounds the two and it is as if time stands still for an instant.

Aemond, with a soft expression, unable to contain himself any longer, gently takes your face in his hands and you let him, because you want him, even though you shouldn't.

"There's something I've wanted to do for a long time," he confesses, his voice laden with sincerity.

You, intrigued and captivated by the intensity in his eye, his beautiful blue eye and the closeness of the bodies, look at him with attention and desire.

"What is it?" you murmur, almost in a whisper.

And without another word, Aemond leans toward you and closes the distance between you, bringing his lips together with yours in a needy but slow and deep kiss that you reciprocate instantly.

It all happens in an instant of surprise, followed by a sweet surrender to the attraction that had grown between the two of you.

Time comes to a complete stop as you both sink into that first kiss, where Aemond's hands gently grip your waist and you respond with the same intensity by locking your arms around his neck and clinging to his lips.

You don't want him to stop, you don't want any of this to end.

Everything feels perfect and just as you imagined in your fantasy mind of wanting to live this moment.

And the moment doesn't end, as he pulls you further into the dressing room while still kissing you, leaning you against a vanity and pressing your body completely against his, making you gasp and respond to his needy kiss in kind.

Unfortunately, the kiss doesn't last as long as you would have liked, as a voice screams throughout the trailer.

"Next scene in five minutes! Everyone to the set, please!"

You and Aemond part abruptly, with surprised and terrified looks on your faces, instantly keeping your distance and pretending nothing has happened.

You head along with him toward the set, trying to hide any trace of the intimacy you both shared moments ago. And as you immerse yourself in the frenetic pace of the shoot, the complicity between the two of you manifests itself in small gestures and stolen glances.

And that's when the little relationship secretly begins.

Keeping the relationship a secret became a balancing act for both of you. As the connection you and he shared intensified, the need to hide the relationship became more and more crucial.

In the trailer and on set when you were around more people, as he did you had to learn to act as naturally as ever, carefully concealing any trace of intimacy.

Encounters became completely secret, kisses and caresses behind dressing rooms or in the trailer when you were alone, always alert to the possibility of being discovered. Even in the dressing room, it became a meeting place, where they could enjoy a moment alone.

You could also talk freely by call or text, but both he and you preferred to see each other in person.

That's why on days off, which were few, Aemond always took you to more private places. One night, for example, he took you to dinner at a small restaurant outside of town.

If it wasn't a restaurant, it was to invite you to a small coffeeshop and more discreet places, out of the reach of prying eyes, where he still had to go covered by his characteristic hair.

And when neither of them had the spirit to be always alert, you went to his apartment or he to yours, where they could act with total freedom and even go further.

In Aemond you found a friend, an accomplice and practically the perfect man for you, not because of what he possesses and who he is out there for everyone to see, but because of who he really is, inside.

You simply couldn't help but fall deeply in love with him and that fortunately he reciprocated as strongly as you did, wanting you and only you.

And although the fear of discovery added a touch of dangerous excitement to the relationship, the weight of keeping it all a secret was beginning to generate emotional conflict.

The strain of keeping up appearances and the constant need for vigilance began to wear on you. And as the relationship progresses, you can't help but wonder if there will ever be a chance to be free with Aemond.

But you both know it's not possible.

Much less will it be when one day, Aemond lets you know the news.

"I need to talk to you about something," he says in a serious and defeated tone, taking your hands in his.

He has come unexpectedly to your apartment and that seemed strange to you, but now that he is telling you this and behaving like this, you know it is for a reason and it is not a good one.

"Is everything okay?" you ask him intently and with your brow furrowed.

He sighs before answering, looking sad.

"Production and my manager are pressuring me to fake a relationship with my co-star in a promotional campaign. They say it will help generate more interest in the show."

And there are the consequences of having this relationship on the quiet with him.

Aemond's face contorts in anguish as he sees the expression on your face of mild surprise and definitely not expecting to hear that.

"I promise you that I refused and did everything in my power not to do this Y/N, but I didn't accomplish nothing and…. I-It shouldn't take more than three months, I swear."

He explains, but the sharp pain in your chest is already there and remains, as you begin to imagine what this is all going to be like.

You press your lips together in a thin line and not knowing what to say or what exactly to do, you let out a long breath and watch your hands with his, processing what he is telling you and what he will have to do next.

Even though you understand the demands of the industry and everything about marketing, still the idea of Aemond faking a relationship with someone else makes you feel weird and uncomfortable.

But what can you really do? Nothing.

This is his job and you're not going to get upset with him when you know it's not his fault and that this is what he does in order to make a living.

"When?" you ask him watching him with your soft gaze but with a slightly sad expression.

He lets out a sigh.

"I don't know, I just know that they are already setting everything up," he tells you frustrated with his low and serious voice, "But I need you to be okay with this, Y/N," he looks at you worried, "I know it will be hard for both of us but I don't want this to affect us when you know the truth behind everything and why I do it."

You watch him for a few seconds without saying anything, as you feel a lump in your throat and also feel the helplessness he conveys for all of this, as he really doesn't want to do this.

But he must meet the professional expectations of the production company and you have no choice but to support him.

"Well," you say softly, trying to hide your hurt look by forcing a small smile to reassure him, "These are the production company's decisions and you must do it. And you don't need to worry about me, you know I'll support you."

He takes his gaze away from yours for a second, letting out a longer sigh than before, then takes your face gently in his hands.

"Of course I worried about you, sweetheart," he murmurs with tiredness, then draws you into a tight, tender embrace.

He leaves a gentle kiss on your head and even though he is relieved that you understood, he still feels remorse and anguish because if he were you, of course he would disagree and it would hurt quite a bit.

But this is work and he really doesn't have much choice.

And when you least expect it, the moment arrives.

The next few weeks are a complete whirlwind of emotions for you as you watch the fictional relationship of Aemond and his co-star, the famously gorgeous actress Cerelle Lannister, prepare to come to light.

Joint promotions take them both to photo shoots and interviews where they must show complicity and affection. And seeing Aemond sharing moments that used to be just yours and his, now in the public sphere with someone other than you, becomes a painful test.

One evening, you see photos of Aemond and Cerelle having dinner at a famous restaurant downtown and all the photos show the complicit smiles and affectionate gestures.

And even though you know it's part of the act, you can't help but feel a knot in your stomach seeing them together. And even worse, seeing how the public is fascinated and in love with their relationship.

It is for all this that you no longer see him frequently and there is only communication by messages.

And when he finally has a space in his schedule, he takes the opportunity to see you, where you at all times try to look as if you are not affected by all this, so as not to worry him and frustrate him when you know he has a lot of weight on his shoulders.

He still apologizes and tries to make it up to you, but in the midst of your soothing words, the pain is reflected in your gaze.

And that's what you do for the next few weeks, you continue to support him from the shadows while he and Cerelle put on a show and are the center of attention.

At first you had told yourself not to see anything about them on the internet, but you can't help it and you see the pictures, read the headlines in the magazines and with each new performance, you feel a slight sharp pain in your heart.

When the day of a big awards event arrives where directors, producers, script writers, the academy members, the press and of course the actors and actresses attend, where precisely Aemond and Cerelle attend together as a couple officially in front of all public eye.

Images and videos of the two sharing laughter and affectionate gestures spread through every social network, while you, from your apartment, watch the scene with a mixture of pride as this is important in Aemond's career but also feel a deep sadness that threatens to overflow.

You wish it was you instead of her.

It's been months since you and Aemond started this relationship behind everyone's back and you want that, to be able to touch him and be with him in public.

But you can't.

And you can't stand this anymore either.

You decide to watch movies and change the channel, not wanting to focus on them anymore, trying to ignore your emotions and your wounded heart, not wanting to do anything else tonight but just forget and stay in the comfort of your bed.

After two hours, your phone starts ringing, indicating an incoming call and when you look at the screen, Aemond's name appears, but you decide not to answer.

You don't feel like talking to him, you don't want to get upset with him when he is not to blame for anything and start an unnecessary fight, so you prefer not to talk.

But after that call, Aemond insistent calls you a couple more times, in which you decide not to answer as well.

At your lack of response, he can't help but feel worried, thinking that you must be feeling bad because of him even though you understand why he's doing all this. And once the rewards are over, he in covered takes his car and drives to your apartment.

As he drives, his mind is filled with thoughts of how to talk to you and find the right words to ease the tension in both of you. But the nervousness doesn't let him think clearly nor has he forgotten the overwhelming awards he had to attend to.

Once he arrives at your door, he just hopes you're okay, even though he knows you're not and knocks three times.

"Y/N? It's Aemond," he says cautiously and hopeful that you will open the door, wanting to speak and see you.

The silence lingers for a few moments before you finally open the door, where the slight surprise of seeing him here at this hour is reflected in your gaze, not understanding anything. And he just sighs, feeling guilty.

"You didn't respond to my calls or messages and I got worried," he explains to you briefly and in a soft voice, "I needed to see you."

Despite all the emotions you're feeling, the fact that he's come looking for you shows you that he really cares about you and wants to do everything he can to make you okay.

You watch him silently for a moment and nod slowly in his direction with a look of understanding.

"I'm fine," you reply softly, wanting to convince him as well as yourself.

"No, I know you're not," he insists, concerned, "I-I… I know this is all very difficult and I don't want you to feel pressured, but…" he lets out a frustrated sigh, "I'm here to talk if you need to."

Appreciating his sincerity silently and seeing how terribly worried he is, you let him in.

The two of you have a difficult but necessary conversation, where neither of you have any intention of ending this thing you have together and where he's willing to show you that he doesn't care about Cerelle, just you.

"I only want you, baby. You and no one else," he murmurs lovingly and with desire in his gaze, closing his eye and catching your lips in a needy, deep kiss.

You respond in kind, gasping into his lips and bringing your hands to stroke his hair, clinging to him completely as he brings his hands to your waist and ass, squeezing the soft skin of both your ass cheeks.

"Do you mean it?" you ask in the middle of the kiss, beginning to feel the wetness between your legs.

"Yes, I fucking mean it," he replies against your lips, biting and sucking on your lips again.

You moan as he begins to leave a trail of kisses all over your neck, biting and leaving little marks on your sensitive skin, making you shiver all over your body and begin to feel the hardness in his pants against your pelvis.

Absentmindedly he brings one of his hands up and caresses one of your breasts over your shirt, making you moan and continue kissing him as he brings his hands back down to your thighs.

"Oh, Aemond," you whine.

"Fuck," he murmurs in delight, making you wrap your legs around his torso and feel directly on your needy clit, his cock hard and in need of release, "Such a needy little thing, arent you?"

His mouth roams and kisses every exposed part of your skin, as he pulls you along with him towards your couch, making you sit on top of him and you desperately begin to seek relief as you cause friction between your bodies.

He groans into your mouth, feeling his cock throb and ache.

"Can I take this off?" he grabs the edge of your shirt and you nod desperately, needy.

You are not wearing a bra and when your breasts are out in the open, Aemond lets out a curse as he stares at your breasts fully aroused to take one of your nipples into his mouth, making you arch and bring his face closer to your breasts.

Not long after that he too takes off his shirt and you free his cock from its confines and then start riding him, unable to wait a moment longer.

"Shit," he hisses, "You feel so good, baby. So fucking good."

You moan loudly as he brings one of his hands to your already swollen clit and starts massaging it with two fingers, making you moan and making you move your hips with more fervor on top of him, as your skin slaps and rattles with his beneath you.

That night, not only does he fuck you on your couch, he fucks you on your bed too, not being able to get enough of you, loving to see your whole face contorted in pleasure as he fucks you against your bed hard, his cock continually thrusting in and out of you, the sound of skin against skin being heard.

You bite down on his shoulder and wrap your legs around his torso again, feeling him deeper, as Aemond kisses you and draws his eyebrows together in concentration and pleasure.

"Are you going to let me fill this pretty pussy with my cum again, baby? I want to feel you fucking cum all over my cock."

He brings his hand to your clit again and begins to massage it furiously, wanting to watch you crumble and feel you do it around his cock, while you moan and bite his shoulder and neck.

"Oh y-yes, Ae-mond,"you moan.

You close your eyes, escape a quiet moan, arch your back fully and feel the whole wave of euphoria wash over your entire body, seeing stars behind your eyes.

And with one last hard thrust, Aemond cums inside you letting out a grunt and hiding his whole face in the curve of your neck, leaving a couple of wet kisses once you both come back to earth and melt into each other's arms.

A few weeks later, you're back at work and Aemond starts filming a new movie for Netflix, so you don't see each other as often as you used to.

Aemond's schedule is very tight and he still does everything he can to be able to see you and spend time with you, while you in comparison to him have more free time but can't spend it with him because of his work.

And it is in that same time that you start to feel strange, but you hadn't connected the dots until the signs became too obvious to ignore.

One day, while working on set, fatigue suddenly overwhelmed you and a persistent nausea made you realize that something was going on. Suddenly lack of appetite appeared and seeing things too sweet or chicken or meat meals made you sick to your stomach.

Or also weird cravings started, which your mind started to scare you with possibly confirming what you were thinking.

During a break in the filming, you discreetly retreat to the bathroom, feeling the need for a moment to yourself. And as you look in the mirror, you notice the pallor on your face and the different glow in your eyes.

Completely terrified, you wait for your break from work and rush to the pharmacy, buying three pregnancy tests of different brands and supposedly the best.

And once at home, everything is silent, as the seconds tick by and you feel like you are drowning in your own thoughts.

You're not ready to be a mom, in fact the thought of having children was never something you wanted or wanted in the long run, because you're still young, you have your dream job at only twenty-two years old and to stop focusing on your dreams and goals to focus on those of a child… it's not something you want.

But the pregnancy test you hold in your trembling hand confirms your suspicions, as do the other tests, all positive.

Fear totally grips you, not only because of the fact that you are pregnant, but because of the implications this brings to your life and also to Aemond's life.

God, Aemond.

You think completely terrified, starting to cry, feeling the pressure in your chest.

You know this will stop and totally ruin his career.

You imagine yourself facing the critical gaze of the media, the headlines of magazines and news websites, as well as the constant speculation about your personal life.

You feel completely scared and hopeless, having no idea what Aemond's reaction will be, but you know this is not good, a baby, right now is not good, not for you and certainly not for him.

But you must tell him. You know you must. Regardless, how could you keep something like this from him?

It takes you two days to finally get up the courage to tell him and as you wait for him in your apartment, the pregnancy test rests in your trembling, sweaty hands, feeling completely frightened amidst all the silence around you.

Your eyes burn from crying so much, you feel like you have no strength, you feel weak and you haven't been able to sleep well and you don't even want to imagine how you will be later when Aemond finds out and everything between you will probably go wrong.

The sound of the door makes you jump nervously, knowing it's him.

You feel more fear and uncertainty flood you but you force yourself to get up from your couch and head to open the door, feeling that you will burst into tears at any moment.

As you open it, Aemond's handsome face and his usual smile was nothing like your face, being quite the opposite, so noticing your state his smile drops and he looks at you completely distressed and worried as you let out a few tears silently.

"Hey, hey," Aemond holds your face in his hands, his thumbs gently caressing your cheeks. His concern is palpable in the way his eyes search yours for answers. "What happened, baby? Are you okay?"

You sniffle your nose, inhale deeply and keep your eyes closed for a moment, only causing Aemond more unease when you don't utter a word.

"Y/N, what happened?" he insists, his tone laden with anxiety and seriousness.

"I'm really sorry," you murmur sadly to him, feeling each word weigh heavy in your chest and a sense of hopelessness creep over you.

"You're sorry, for what? What happened?" he asks again, completely confused and uncomprehending.

"I'm… I-I'm pregnant," you mumble in a broken voice, as if uttering those words would make reality more concrete.

Aemond's face remains completely static, his eyes wide open, watching you as tears slide down your cheeks. The gravity of the news is reflected in the tense silence that appears between the two of you.

"What?" he mutters under his breath, barely audible but laden with disbelief.

You nod slowly, reaching out to him for the proof you hold in your trembling hand. And every second that passes as he analyzes it feels like an eternity as you wait for his reaction.

But he barely processes the information, takes the evidence between his fingers and the seconds stretch out like hours as you feel your heart beating too fast.

But Aemond's face shows neither anger nor joy.

And finally he reacts by bringing his hands to his hair, his eye fixed on the evidence for a moment and then looking at a spot in your living room, beginning to see frustration and surprise invade him more.

He lets out a sigh and turns his gaze back to you in a desperate manner.

"Hey, baby," he says to you now nervously, "Are you absolutely sure?"

You nod slowly.

"I did three tests, all three came back positive."

He brings a hand to his forehead, averting his gaze from yours for a moment. His eyes reflect tumultuous thoughts, a mixture of thoughts ranging from disbelief to concern.

"But how?" he watches you blankly, still with surprise painted in his gaze.

"You didn't use a condom and I took the pill, but it didn't work," you tell him in a hopeless voice, trying to explain the inexplicable.

"Oh, fuck," he murmurs, biting his lips and bringing a hand to his chin.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't mean for this to happen either," you admit to him, your tears streaming down your cheeks.

You feel the need to apologize as if this burden is something only you should carry, the vulnerability clear in your tone of voice and on your face, which worries Aemond more at seeing you in such a state.

"Hey, no, don't, don't do that, don't apologize," he says instantly, turning back to you and placing a hand on your cheek, "We're both part of this, you understand me? You're not to blame for anything and I'm not going to leave you alone," he assures you, completely honest and determined with his words.

And despite the gravity of the situation, you feel a huge relief come over you knowing that you are not alone in this, as he looks at your sad face, with your dry tears and red eyes.

And then he places a soft kiss on your lips and encloses you in a comforting embrace that is all you need at that moment.

You knew that Aemond would eventually have to tell his manager and his team as well, however, you didn't expect him to do it on the same day you let him know the news and you didn't expect all his people to start working so soon on this, on your pregnancy.

You call his agent and in an instant he, along with his publicist and his team of public relations people, invade your apartment.

And his agent, Criston Cole, doesn't have time to start reproaching him for having had a secret relationship with you all this time, although the anger is there but the important thing is the baby on the way, where he can't do anything either because it's already in your womb.

So he only talks about solutions.

And it is precisely because of these painful solutions for you that you decided to run away and disappear from his life to save his career and also your child.

[lotsoflola]

never ever ever - l. haechan [introduction]

summary: you've had your heart broken for the fifth time in two months, and however much you just want to spend the night crying, someone keeps interfering... genre: enemies to lovers warnings: swearing, reader sleeps around, harsh language, implied smut but nothing in this chapter wc: 1.1k author's note: this series is going to take a hot minute but here's the introduction for the first fic to keep you guys fed

"hi kun," you slurred, the liquor streaming in your bloodstream evident through the way you collapsed against the bar. your mind was foggy, your fingertips were tingling, and the far-too-revealing dress you was falling clung to your curves more than ever.

the bartender giggled, knowing his favourite regular, and finishing polishing the glass in front of him. "jesus, it's only eight. how are you this fucked already?"

you pushed yourself up, leaning over the counter to grab a bottle of cheap beer, throwing a fiver down on the table. "you know that guy i was seeing? in your frat?"

kun hummed, all too used to your antics. you were known across campus for being a flirt, for drinking too much and having fun with as many men as you saw fit. it was no surprise, you were drop dead gorgeous, with a body sculpted by aphrodite herself, and the personality to match. you were dangerous, and didn't you know it.

"yeah, i broke it up."

kun chuckled lightly. "surprise, surprise. come on, how long was that? a week?"

"two weeks, actually," you sighed, taking a large swig from your beer, "i don't know, he just wasn't exciting like that. got bored of him. so i ended it."

"so why isn't he the one drinking alone on a thursday night with a class at 9am tomorrow?" the bartender teased, earning a middle finger from the girl across from him.

"i'm allowed to be sad, kun," you finished the beer with your words, the bitter aftertaste refreshing on your tongue. you leant over the bar to grab another one, but were met with a hand wrapped tightly around your wrist, stopping you in her tracks.

he tutted under his breath. "i think you've had enough for tonight, honey."

honey. the nickname fell naturally from his lips. the one your parents used to call you when you was a child. the one you only let those close to you say because of the power it held. the one those special people only used in special scenarios due to the impact it had on you.

you knew it was stupid to care so much about a stupid nickname. god, you wished you didn't care so much about it. but the second those words left someones lips you were putty in their hands. that's why you only let those you cared about say it.

"pissed on a week night already? i expected better from you, honey. didn't you only date that guy for a week?"

those you cared about. and him.

lee haechan was the new hot thing on campus, throwing himself at girls as much as he could and becoming the hot topic on their tongue as he wowed them in bed. at least that what he claimed, you had never spoken to any of these girls with enough time to discuss his ability in bed, not that you would ever bring it up. words could not describe how much you hated him.

"shut up, haechan. no one fucking asked for your opinion," you spat, still attempting to grab another beer while you wrestled with kun.

the young boy laughed, sitting on the stool next to you. "such nasty words from such a pretty face, can't tell me that hendery fucked you up that badly."

his words always got to you, always nestled under your skin in a way that no one else did, no one else could. "don't know why you always feel the need to get involved."

"don't know why you always end up a shitty mess after dating a guy for three days-"

"okay, okay, come behind the bar, there you go," kun manouvered you around the bar, sensing the tension and not wanting to see where it would end up.

your and haechan's rivalry was well known across campus, since freshman year you had made your distate of the man known. you were in the same business class, and every single lesson he spent somehow teasing or testing you, and when he got your number it was somehow worse.

"honestly, you would think you had matured by now, been about three years of passing through men for about three weeks each before slagging them off and dating their best friends, or maybe some people are just sluts and can't help-"

"fuck off, hyuck," kun snapped, physically holding you back at this point, one hand wrapped around your waist as he forced you down onto the stool behind him, giving you a glass of water in a poor attempt to sober you up. "fight her another day."

"not looking for a fight," haechan's voice was aggrevatingly smooth, as if he wasn't lying through his teeth, "just speaking the truth. if she can't handle that, then that's on her."

"lee donghyuck, i swear to-"

kun finally snapped, covering your mouth with his hand before turning to the smirking man in front of you. "get out, haechan."

"kun," he whined, face suddenly dropping, "cmon i was joking."

but the bartender didn't back down, pointing towards the door with his spare time. "she's not doing good right now, get out."

"you're losing a paying customers business," he sighed, but complied with the older gentleman, sending you a flying kiss before getting up to leave the bar. "night, doll."

you held your middle finger up at him, but you could feel yourself getting sleepier in kun's hold, and before you knew it you were struggling to keep your eyes open, body slumped against the wall as your eyeslashes fluttered.

"gonna kill him," you mumbled to yourself, drunk and delirious.

kun laughed, wandered over to you and patting you gently on the head. "who, hyuck?"

"yeah. fucking hate him."

"i don't think you do," kun knelt on the floor in front of you, meeting your eyeline. it was a quiet night, and all he could do was look after his friend. "i think you guys secretly like each other. maybe even love."

you scoffed, letting an assortment of drunk laughs and hiccups emerge from your mouth. "love him?! you're crazy, kun."

"trust me. i just know these things."

"i will never love him," you stated, words sounding very defintiive, even as you were dozing off, "never ever ever."

[sugolara]

𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚

feat. katsuki bakugo x fem! reader

cw: ansgt

˗ˏˋ+ ´ˎ˗ leaving y/n a series a voicemails, katsuki regrets not telling her how he truly felt for her.

❝to see you walk away.❞

+ wherever you are by ulrich schnauss

shoto's vers.

you have one new voicemail!

"hey... it's... katsuki bakugo. you remember me? that one loud mouth that never knew how to keep his mouth shut, or at least that's what you'd say. always talking back to me like i wouldn't man handle your ass. anyways, yeah, everything seems off.

"... your funerals tomorrow. after a week of you being gone, they're finally putting you in the ground. everyone's acting different. everyone stares at the front door waiting for your grinning face to pop up at any moment. i don't know why, but, i'm also waiting to see your face.

"can i see you tomorrow?"

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"i gave my speech at your funeral. if you were here you'd say it's corny or some sappy shit. i think icy hot got a little mad. you remember him? your devoted little boyfriend. bet if you were here you'd be disappointed in him. he didn't even bother saying anything at your funeral.

"he just... stared at your empty casket. where you're supposed to be. i think he made himself believe that your body was still intact instead of... yeah. he didn't cry like everyone else did, i mean neither did i, but, he was silent. it was weird in a way. i couldn't stand the look in his face.

"do you see me?"

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"we got this new girl. it's eerie, she looks so much like you. half 'n half can't keep his eyes to himself. he thinks she's you. but i know better. she can never be you. she doesn't even reach where you're at. you two are on a completely different scale. but you don't reach me.

"it pissed me off when aizawa had her sit in your seat. she probably thinks i like her because i keep staring back there. but it's not her that i'm staring at. it's your desk. because slowly, they're trying to replace you.

"what even pissed me off more, was when your dorm room, that used to be empty, was now occupied. for the new lousy american bitch. they're slowly getting rid of you. they're slowly getting rid of our memories.

"can you tell that i'll never get rid of you?"

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"aizawa can tell i've been slacking off. i can hear your sarcastic voice already saying, 'what, the katsuki bakugo, slacking off?'. he's trying to get us back into shape, not let another... mistake... happen again. but i can tell it's hard for him to. with his leg missing and his eye missing.

"i— this may sound corny, but, i kinda miss seeing your stupid face. i miss you talking back to me. did i tell you that the new girl talks back to me as well? i think she's trying to be you. the group, shitty hair, pink face, dunce face, and elbow guy don't like her.

"they said she's trying to be like you. i see it. i agree with them. she is trying to be like you. she's decorated her dorm room like yours. she even has that same poster from your favorite band. my instincts are telling me that your parents had left it by mistake and she took for herself.

"do you miss seeing my stupid face?"

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"i still come see your grave. i leave your favorite flowers. shitty hair told me to stop seeing you. that i need to move on and focus on my career. but how can i move on when i all i think about is you? yea, you're right, i am being soft.

"but if i had told you how i felt about you, you'd probably laugh in my face. it's why i never told you about how i felt. because i was afraid you'd reject me. i didn't want to look like a fucking idiot.

"but then i remember the way you would stare at me. the way i would catch you looking at me when you thought i wasn't looking. i know you know how i felt about you. and it hurts, because you never said anything.

"can i see you in my dreams like i do every other night?"

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"okay, don't get mad. yes, it has been a two weeks, but that's because the old hag took my phone away. she say's that you being gone has mess me up. i don't think so. she say's i need to get out there more. but she doesn't understand.

"don't get mad. i may or may have not kicked icy hots ass. before i hear you yelling at me, just listen. he took that american girl on a date. they're dating. how unfaithful is he. while everyone was congratulating him, i glared at him. how could he do this to you? if you were with me, i wouldn't do that. i would never move on.

"i told him off. shitty hair and elbow guy had to stop me from doing more damage. he just stood there and took it. i think he also knows that i liked you. 'liked'... i don't know what i'm doing, y/n.

"do you think you can tell me that everything is going to be okay?"

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"do you remember when that day i went knocking on your dorm? i had told you to turn of your shitty music because i could hear it from my dorm. but that wasn't true. i didn't come knocking at your door because of your music. hell, i couldn't even hear it.

"i knocked because i wanted to hear your ugly voice. i was also scared. ever since i got kidnapped by the league of villains. you comforted me and told me everything was going to be okay.

"then we stayed up talking about the randomness shit ever. and then you told me your secret. it looked like you didn't care when you pulled me down to your bed and covered me with your blanket. we huddled up so close, that i swear you could feel the heat radiating off my cheecks.

"can we do that again when i see you?"

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"everyone forgot about you. even your boyfriend, scratch that, your ex. no one calls your name out, no one mentions you anymore, the posters on the walls are no longer there. they completely gotten rid of you. it hurts. so, so bad.

"shitty hair wants me to go to therapy. i don't know. he's funny. he can tell i'm still clinging onto you. he catches me looking at photos of you. he got upset when he found the confession letter that i have planned on giving you.

"he says it's not healthy. he sounds like deku. oh, yeah, you remember deku? ever since he disappeared and came back, our relationship has gotten better. i think he feels guilty of you dying. we don't argue as much. you got your wish.

"do you think if i accomplish all your wishes i get to see you again?"

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"you know what sucks, n/n. is that your selfish ass left me all alone before i even got to tell you how i felt. you are so selfish to save some random civilian knowing you would get killed in the process. you saw it coming. why did you push me away!?

"... what sucks even more... is that your own family killed you. he knew and yet he still did it. yeah, if you're wondering, i kept your secret. i'm kinda glad you told me it, it was the only thing keeping me closer to you. you trusted me.

"can you tell me if you're okay wherever you are?"

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"be honest with me. and no fucking jokes. if you weren't with that bastard and if you never felt any feelings for him, would you have accepted my feelings? a part of me tells me that you wouldn't, because i'm harsh and rude.

"but another part says that you would have, because as you said it yourself, you didn't mind my attitude. you said it's what made me, me. i think that's why i was so drawn towards you. you accepted me for who i was and never once tried to change me.

"it's why i fell so hard for you. it's why i call you at midnight when i'm having panic attacks. your voice calms me down. yeah, okay, you can laugh. i'd do anything to hear your voice one more time. call me a big fucking softy.

"do you want to hear me say those three words?"

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"i came across your parents house the other night. ... i had a dream of you. you were sitting on your front porch, smiling up at me as you offered my hand. you were talking but i couldn't hear you. you sounded distant. then the next thing i know, you kissed me.

"maybe dunce face is right. i am down bad for you. he would always say that when you walked by and i'd always glance at you. he doesn't say it anymore and a part of me wishes for him to say it. he avoids your name like the black plague.

"i hope your family has moved on."

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"can i see you tomorrow? do you see me? can you tell that i'll never get rid of you? do you miss seeing my stupid face? can i see you in my dreams like i do every other night? do you think you can tell me that everything is going to be okay? can we do that again when i see you? do you think if i accomplish all your wishes i get to see you again? can you tell me if you're okay wherever you are?

"do you want to hear me say those three words?"

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

you have one new voicemail!

"i don't know when your parents are gonna stop your phone services. so, before they do that, i want to let you know that... i, i love you. i know it's to late for me, but if you got a second chance i wouldn't hesitate to say those three fucking words.

"i wouldn't even care if anybody was around. i love you, y/n. i always have, since the first day i laid my eyes on you. i will always love you no matter where you are. i'm glad i got to met you. i'm glad you had bumped into me and talked back to me.

"i love you, y/n. i will always fucking love you."

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·

i'm sorry, but the number you have dialed is no longer in service. please dial back again to make sure you have entered the right number. goodbye.

[sabh0]

What's your opinion on the anime? I find it pretty funny, but I can't say that I am not disappointed to see so many scenes missing.

For exemple, I wanted to see Dazai cry laugh at Chuuya's young mistress act, show that it was a joke shared by both of them, rather than one made to us at the expense of Chuuya. They took a genuinely funny moment and made me cringe SO hard for no reason T^T

God i could go on for hours about how Bones ruined this series. I'm obviously thankful we have an anime adaptation but. Well just compare bsd anime to jjk one or smth and yeah.

I will be complaining more under the cut,,

First the overall writing choices:

-Deleting or changing skk scenes to the point im not even shocked when ppl think these two actually somehow hate each other.

-The way they portrayed Sigma. They deleted half of his personality and backstory. And just speedrunned the Sky Casino arc like if seeing that place was giving them nightmares. No wonder he gets mischaracterized now.

-Tachihara's internal conflict about belonging to either Port Mafia or The Hunting Dogs? Bones never heard about it. It's not like IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT.

-Akutagawa's whole character in the anime is just 'edgy and angry and bad grr'. In the manga he had some 'kind' or even seelf-reflection moments that were ommited in the anime. Like where he realizes defeating Atsushi didn't satisfy him (ship fight, season 1). Or when he gives files about the orphanage Director to Atsushi and says he won't fight him today because he lost someone impirtant to him. Sskk vs Fukuchi fight?? No scene where Sskk r helping each other walk. Instead we get Akutagwa just pushing Atsushi away. Won't even start on that last smile that looked more like another angry expression.

-THE WAY THEY CHANGED "DAZAI'S ENTRANCE EXAM" INTO SOME CURRENT TIMELINE EPISODES. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY LIKE. THIS NOVEL WAS SO GOOD. Showing both Dazai and Kunikida's characters and partnership so well. But no. Let's just??? Put Atsushi there. Let's delete the fact this thing happened 2 years ago. And let's delete everything that was actually important about it, too.

-also some changes in the Dark Era arc. Like. Lord. Dazai is so much more emotional in the novel. His expressions r described so well. But the anime either shows him from the back at those moments (him finding out Oda was almost killed by a sniper in Ango's room) or just deletes/changes the thing (Oda dying. This scene is so emotional in the novel. From the description u can tell Dazai was crying/on the verge of it as Odasaku died. But in the anime he looks calm and then we get a far aeay frame and he just. Gets up and that's it yeah.) They also deleted the scene of him visiting Oda's grave.

-The way they rushed seasons 4 and 5. Just to give us an episode that goes further than the manga and has the shittiest writing ever when it comes to skk's plan revelation (im so angry about this u guys have no idea. I sincerely believe that if this episode never came out, the manga would go differently bc there's no way that Asagiri who wrote things like Stormbringer suddenly thought that some dollar store vampire make up will fool a guy who's centuries old and literally lived next to vampires. But well!! Seems like these two speeches Dazai gave weren't important at all and now we can just forget about them yippiee)

I could definitely mention WAYY more examples of that but this is already long af. Like guys. I know u cant fit everything in an animated show. It takes time to make it and all but. Bro. The character's in the anime r so shallow compared to their original versions.

.

Now onto the artstyle of the anime.

Lord. U know? It was actually pretty in the first 2 seasons. The official arts at the time were also really nice to look at.

No idea what happened later. Why did Bones suddenly decide that those ugly turtle smiles r gonna become the main thing in the character design. Why so many fisheyes. Atp sometimes i look at the official art and i go oh lord even i could fix it. It really feels like they draw some characters ugly on purpose now (Chuuya being the main victim for unknown reasons).

Tho i must say they have their moments even now. Some last episodes of season 5 weren't really bad, especially the Meursault part (love them for animating Dazai and Sigma dancing so well. And for that 101 animation. And maybe for the heartattack they gave me with 109 and Chuuya shooting Dazai so many times.)

.

On some other things, i really like the music! Bsd openings and endings never miss,,,

[fanaticsnail]

Sending love to that anon who is on the Yandere Doffy cruise with me, but also how dare you make it angsty 😭😭 but also, I love that. Make it fluffy then make it angsty! A perfect concoction. And then Snail adding the Impel Down? How about you just let Law take my heart instead and crush it, it would hurt less 😭😭

Following that Reader gets ill idea, you know who is the only doctor in the world who can help Reader if she gets ill?

You know WHO is the only one who can probably completely heal Reader?

LAW.

Fucking.

LAW.

(cackles)

Ohohohoho the plot thickens!

Would Doflamingo actually ask Law to heal Reader? Law's is the only fruit that can do it. Doflamingo just realising that would be so fckn AMAZING. The shock, the internal conflict, the fckn anger that Law is the only doctor left who has the HIGHEST chance of healing Reader...

This could be pre-Dressrosa Arc, hell this could be the reason Doflamingo surrenders during Dressrosa Arc because Law heals Reader right in front of Doflamingo, who is literally holding her while she has a fever. (I know, very unlikely but hey, let Doffy be desperate, as a treat.)

It could be that after he beats Law in their first fight after Law wakes up Doflamingo takes him to give a diagnosis on Reader, and Law is shooketh.

Also, add Reader being a mother figure to Law, being kind to him and thanking him and apologizing for Doffy and she is so sorry and Law is getting reminded of his mom now and is literally having a lump in his throat and this 26-year-old grump is about to CRY as he looks through Reader's medical charts left by the other doctors and all check-ups.

Maybe Law's doctor mode just TURNS ON. He isn't even thinking it, he offers to help with his Devil Fruit but in exchange Doflamingo has to surrender or at least let Reader go.

Doflamingo is not on board. He's gonna force Law to use Room if he has to.

Luffy is on board (if it's Dressrosa Arc), bless his soul, he even says he'll kick Law's ass if he harms Reader since he is reminded of watching Ace die or reminded of Nami being sick and him being helpless.

Would Doflamingo accept the deal? Yes? No?

Knowing Doffy he'll go like "I'll just force Law to heal her." in his Big Brain Moment™

And the Impel Down addition, ugh, fuck, my heart.

But Law healing Reader and Doflamingo's internal struggle and pride... OHOHOHOHOHO. I am laughing evilly.

We are further sinking into the Yandere Doffy hole here.

No, don't send the ladder. We like it here.

CAN I JUST

AND LET ME JUST

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay, I love this so much. This is gonna end up as a series, I can tell. It's going to have to be. Yandere Doffy with a reader who doesn't want to be with him, getting sick and finally seeing a way towards freedom with Law offering it to them, AND DOFFY JUST MOURNING FOR HIS LOVE WHO WANTS TO LEAVE HIM. JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

I freaking love the Yandere Doffy train going on in my ask box. This is getting me all giddy and giggly. I love this so so much. I'm in the hole next to you, bestie. I'm taking notes.

I am also digging the fact we're all like: "yessss bring Law into it. Have the tables turn."

You: "You have always been so kind to me. Even as a troubled child, you had the potential of turning out like either brother. He'd be so proud of you, your heart mirroring his even now."

Law: "You offered me no reason to harm you. You were one of the few that made my childhood bearable there. And... Thank you. All I've done, I've done in honour of Cora-san and to spite Doflamingo."

The Heart Pirates: "What the hell? Don't we hate Doflamingo? Why are we healing his spouse?"

You: "And where do I factor in? The honour or the spite?"

Law: "Both and neither. I honour Cora-san in offering you this kindness, and I spite Doflamingo in knowing you're released from his charge and allowed to make your choice to remain here or flee. It's up to you what you do."

The Heart Pirates: collective "ohhhhhh"

I love this so much. I can't wait to write it. Thank you for another Yandere Doffy prompt, it's fuelling me.

[bookns]

babes i need some good percabeth fic rex’s preferably not spicy lol i need some nighttime reading material 😭😭😭

I GOT YOU oh my god I love this ask

the anatomy of a hurricane: barbarianprincess (all of their fics are amazing but this is my favorite)

Of Heists and Home Economics: chellethewriter

building memories on things not said: ahecen

it's human (you can lay your hands on me): riverv (literally all their fics) (I had this labeled in my notes "Can't read without crying - so lonely" ENJOY)

there's still color: mypetersburg

the annabeth project: pjoseries (divineauthor)

Meeting Percy and Annabeth: foreverfangirlwrites (She's pretty popular (her series A Rose By Any Name is really good) but for this fic is a comfort fic so if its not here I be pretty sad)(and her fic Into A Moment of Time - made me cry so bad. Like full on sobs with hiccups so read that too)

spread your wings and learn how to fly: roomtempcupofjoe (PRINCESS DIAIRES)

Eighteen Years a Hero: romanitas

graduating class: loveliet (all their fics are good but this one hits hard)

when the sun came up (you were looking at me): TheWritingManiac (if you liked Wendy Mass as a kid, this fic IS IT)

The Blood of Olympus: MariaClaire (just trust me)

I Would (Literally) Die For You: AverageCanadian (this author haunts me and made me cry to the point where I lost count so ENJOY)

What The High Tides May Bring: myshipsaresunk

A Mere Collection of Words: sunburst_city (WARNING: its not spice but it is implied - I didn't think it was too bad but if you want just skip this fic)

A Semester Abroad: ScienceFantasy93 (shits so good your gonna love Reyna)

Post Tenebras Lux: husborth (listen to Taylors swift You are In Love you'll thank me later)

Forever Cursed: RainySteve (sad. thats it. your warning is just the word sad. good luck solider)

etched on skin: unsureavenge (also check their fic End Of The Line I've spoken about it before and ohgod its just a masterpiece)

Here I Go Again!: percabethica (a Mamma Mia AU that I read before watching Mamma Mia - yeah that was an experience)

building memories on things not said: ahecen

Witnesses: Roselightfairy (I LOVE THIS ONE - comfort fic)

Won't Leave Any Doubt: maydayparade8123 (orphan_account)

We Only Want To Help: Believer1991

i wanna tell you, but i don't know how: polypanpercyjackson (thecuspofsomething)

gravity in the words we write: percyj

dates, demigods, and other divine disasters: fuwaaa

Rite of Passage: hanpersands (self plug; I have a fic just like this too if you like - link in my bio)

we made a lot of music dancing (you and i): vll8586

Arizona Sky: husborth

I Bet You Think Your Honey Tastes Like Sugar: Lex42069

and you knew what it was: aceofdiamonds

Surprise Baby: iannageorge

Late Night Rescues: IllusionsOfInsanity

The Library Book: unsureavenger ( I have no idea if I did them already but all their fics but THIS ONE in particular - literal chefs kiss)

just practice: knuffled (bigscary)

Save the Date: oreoz314

first i love u: RainySteve

take me to your best friend's house: mcpicktwo (I laugh at this one so much)

If We Have Each Other: jasonsmclean

Days Apart: likoricke (orphan_account)

you belong with me: scrxbbler

Fireworks: katebishoop

and of course, me, Bookns has Pjo fics (you know Can I Be Him but expect another fic in a day or two)

I know its a lot but I hope you like them. Some of these are my favorite and they are really close to my heart. I've only been in this fandom for about three years so there's a lot I missed but I think I read a lot for my own good. I recommend Taylor swift entire discoraphy but especially you are in love - Enjoy Darling

[mimisempai]

Entangled

Summary

This time Crowley has to save his angel from a garland, but he has his work cut out for him, as it's a rather special garland where the more mischievous of the two is not the one you think.

Notes

Christmas shenanigans...

On Ao3

Rating G -  572 words

"Crowley, dear, would you mind getting the box of Christmas decorations that's in the small closet near the kitchen?"

Crowley looked amusedly at Aziraphale, who was perched on a stepladder, finishing hanging a gold garland around the top of the tree.

"Where exactly?"

"On the last shelf on the left."

"I'll get it."

Moments later, Crowley was reaching for the box in question when he suddenly heard a small cry coming from the living room.

He put the box down and hurried back to Aziraphale.

It took him only a few steps to see Aziraphale lying on the floor, tangled in the golden garland.

But what shocked the demon the most was to see the angel curled up in a ball, his shoulders shaking as he cried.

Crowley ran to kneel beside the angel, but when he saw his face, he discovered that Aziraphale's shoulders were shaking, not with sobs, but with laughter.

"Cr... Crowley..."

The angel had to stop himself as he started to laugh again.

"Er... help... help me. I'm... I'm trapped in the garland."

The demon slid to the ground, relieved to see that the angel was okay. Then, after a few seconds, he took in the whole scene and couldn't hold back a small laugh.

Then, realizing that Aziraphale had indeed managed to become so entangled in the garland that he couldn't move, the demon's chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh, and he seemed unable to stop.

"Oh no, not you too."

Aziraphale, whose laughter had just subsided, laughed then harder as well. 

After a few moments, they both calmed down and Crowley said mockingly, "I leave you alone for ten seconds and you end up like this. You're amazing, Angel."

Aziraphale winked at him.

"That's because I know you love saving me."

"Idiot."

Then the demon leaned forward to bring his face close to the angel's and added mischievously, "But that means you're at my mercy now."

"What are you going to do?"

"What do you think?" the demon breathed, his lips just millimeters from the angel's.

"Kiss me."

"Good answer."

Crowley closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to the angel's. 

As the kiss deepened, he felt the angel squirm beneath him. Afraid of hurting him, he pulled back, but Aziraphale shook his head and said sulkily, "I can't touch you, I don't like it."

Crowley chuckled and immediately released the angel from his golden garland prison. No sooner was the last knot untied than Aziraphale's arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him back to continue the interrupted kiss.

Much later when they parted to catch their breath, as Crowley tried to straighten up, he stopped abruptly in his movement and, dropping his forehead on the angel's shoulder, burst out laughing.

"Crowley?"

"I..." Another laugh shook the demon before he could continue.

"I think that garland is after us."

"What are you talking about?"

The demon lifted his foot and the angel's moved at the same time because the garland had wrapped itself around both of their feet.

Aziraphale raised his eyebrows and said playfully, "It's not mad at us, it just wants us to continue what we were doing."

"Then let's not disappoint this poor garland."

As the demon's lips once again captured the angel's for another kiss, Crowley didn't see Aziraphale make a slight movement with his hand, nor did he feel the garland fall to the ground and free their feet.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

South Downs cottage series : here

Ineffable fan fictions Masterpost : here

[xplrvibes]

Opinion on latest episode?

Zak Bagans brings me such joy.

He's just such a...doofus. It reminds me of a simpler time.

Other than that, I don't think I have (m)any good things to say about this video. I'll go behind a cut for the meat of this, but reader beware: I am going to be critical and, quite frankly, kind of mean. I am probably going to say some ugly truths that some people don't want to hear. If you can't handle that, skip this and catch me on the next post.

Before the cut, here's a few pre-game positives about the video:

The concept was actually interesting.

I like that it was just snc (and Zak, briefly). Less guests in 2025!!

Colby's outfit in St Augustine made me laugh. Why the high socks and low shorts combo? (Is this a positive? I don't know)

Alright, well that was fun. Now onto the part that's bound to get me in trouble:

I think I'm just going to jump right into the deep end and talk about Sam, first.

*TW: I am not nice about this. Last chance to skip this whole thing if you think that will be a problem for you.*

I struggled with how I wanted to word this, because my initial thoughts throughout this whole thing were not fit to print.

I don't want to be mean.

But like...what the fuck, man.

There is a level of self absorption in Sam that is honestly going to tank this whole channel if he doesn't get it the fuck together. The name on the door isn't "Sam and Friends." It's "Sam and Colby." They are supposed to be 50/50 partners and he has now proven that he thinks his way is the ultimate highway and is repeatedly going into business for himself.

It's disappointing, to say the least.

And I'm going to be very blunt here: I don't care about his need to prove the paranormal to himself, no matter the cost. I don't sympathize with him on that front, even if I can empathize. NONE of us know for sure what's going on after the final curtain call, and none of us ever will until we get there. We are all rowing that same boat to that same destination, but Sam is captaining a ship called hubris and he's headed for a fucking iceberg.

I think the thing that gets me the most about Sam's supreme selfishness is him looking his best friend in the face and disrespecting him by lying to him, trying to take all the big moments in these videos for himself, and completely disregarding Colby's feelings on the matters as if they don't matter. And then when he does tell Colby and Colby gets rightfully upset about it, he starts crying about how it's more important for HIM to prove the paranormal than it is for anyone else in the world because HE needs to believe and HE doesn't believe, and THEN he starts in about how difficult HIS 2023 was to a fucking person who spent half of his 2023 with CANCER.

That is the most manipulative series of events to pull on someone, and the fact that this has happened multiple times on camera is concerning.

When Colby said that it's supposed to be a partnership and it's really not, I felt that. Sam doesn't view them as partners. He views himself as the star attraction and the ultimate top dog of the table and he views Colby in a position of lesser importance.

And sadly, I don't have much hope of that changing.

This is a habit of his. He does this repeatedly. They had a carbon copy of this exact conversation a year ago and NOTHING changed. Hell, they went and filmed Farrar right after this and Sam pretty much guilt tripped Colby into going down into that boiler room, even when he didn't want to.

Nothing is changing.

And here's another really blunt, painful statement: Sam planned this ridiculous bullshit behind Colby's back and continued on with it after watching his best friend kneeling on a floor in front of a doll begging it for forgiveness because he was scared about the possibility of the doll giving him cancer again (I'll get to that in a moment). He heard the tears in Colby's voice when he told Sam he didn't want to disrespect Robert because he never wanted to go through this again.

And then he went into that building and took that photo anyway.

Let that sink in.

Sam's mission took priority over Colby's safety, traumas, and fears.

It's alarming how little regard he has for even Colby sometimes.

I don't know. I think Colby was owed much more of a genuine apology than what was shown on camera. He is definitely owed a fuckton more respect than what's being afforded him.

I have doubts that he's getting either of those.

.

So all of that dovetails into my other huge issue with this whole video, which is Robert the Doll and the issue of Colby's cancer.

Let me preface this by saying that I do not think any doll caused that cancer, and I'm not thrilled that they are starting to allow this narrative after more than a year of dismissing it.

That being said, I want to point something out here, and I think it's something that everyone forgets sometimes.

Colby went through a very traumatic experience with his cancer journey. And he did it very publicly, while being in the paranormal community.

He is a man with a history of chronic anxiety and a belief in spiritualism and the paranormal. He has also had the fear of reoccurrence of his cancer hanging over his head for a while now.

He's got people on the internet constantly telling him the doll may have caused it. He's got his friends using that as a plot point for their own videos with Robert, to great success.

I'm sure after a while, the cogs in some part of his brain started turning and he started thinking, "You know, if that doll did curse me and that's why I got cancer, apologizing to it will lift the curse and I might not get it again."

He had hope for the fear.

So he goes there - with his best friend who helped him through the entire ordeal and the aftermath and has to know better than anybody what this meant to him - with an apology note in hand *just in case* and he sits down with the owners and asks them what they think about all this cursing business.

And they, with dollar signs in their little beady eyes, tell this scared cancer survivor, "Yep, the doll did it, and he's probably gonna do something even worse to you unless you sincerely repent and mean it with every fibre of your being."

And then, to top that off, Colby tearfully goes off and does this whole dramatic unveiling of this doll and looks like he's going to puke, proving that he's really starting to believe all this shit about the doll fucking him (and only him) over. He writes a heartfelt, if slightly cheesy and dramatic, note begging for forgiveness and includes a whole paragraph in there about what a great and loving friend and business partner Sam is and asks this doll to leave them BOTH alone (a weirdly ironic moment, considering). He comes out of this and quite firmly tells Sam he does not want to fuck with or disrespect this doll in any way because he doesn't ever want to go through cancer again.

And then Sam, knowing all of this, with dollar signs in his beady little eyes, goes and takes a picture of the doll behind Colby's back and starts salivating over voodoo dolls he brought of them (including a doll he brought of Colby which proves he was totally planning on including Colby in this despite his claims of wanting to keep him out of it) so he can put a bunch of dolls together and what...create a ghost doll cyclone?

To be honest, I don't know what the fuck he was actually trying for because it sounded so stupid that my brain short circuited and I started seeing stars, but like what the FUCK.

Why was there not one person in this video prioritizing and showing any concern for the cancer survivor they were all just fucking up again and again with this shit?

I don't think Sam's stupid plan would've worked anyway, cause it quite franky made no sense. But HE thought it would work. And he saw all that and did it anyway.

Colby apologized to that doll because that was his way of getting some kind of control back over his fate. And half the people in that building with him that day purposefully tried to scare him and his fanbase more so they could sell more tickets, and the other half purposefully shit all over his wishes to not disrespect the doll by breaking the first rule of respecting the doll because their need to be #1 on the call sheet trounced everything else.

I just cannot comprehend the lack of disrespect peppered throughout this entire monstrosity.

I'm not even going to touch some of the other shit that went on in this video, because I feel like I've pushed my luck far enough with this one and I'm just disgusted and want to be done with this.

But this video was just bad. I did not like it. I have little respect for Sam right now, I'm once again concerned at Colby's inability to stop people from walking all over him, I thought some of the shit in this video was corny (the whole kneeling in front of the doll thing- why did he have to kneel?) and I'm just really tired of the constant "whoops we want too far, gotta take a few months off now to repent" shit when I know nothing's going to change.

This one gets a -12/10. Zak Bagans is the only reason it even scored that high.

That man is a National Treasure. Not one we want or need, mind you, but a treasure nonetheless.

[flamingspud]

Nine year old Jimmy hated having friends over. Not because he didn't like having play dates with his friends, and definitely not because he didn't have anything fun to do at his house, but because of his brother: Grian.

Jimmy struggles to seem cool when his brother insists on being annoying.

Fic under the cut

Nine year old Jimmy hated having friends over. Not because he didn't like having play dates with his friends, and definitely not because he didn't have anything fun to do at his house, but because of his brother: Grian.

Grian was Jimmy's four year old brother, who for god knows why seemed to idolise Jimmy. It was annoying at the best of times, even if he could sometimes convince him to do favours for him, but it was the absolute worst when Jimmy was trying to play with his friends.

No matter how much he begged his mum to make Grian leave them alone, he remained his little shadow. Even Joel couldn't get Grian to leave Jimmy alone, though Jimmy wasn't sure if Joel was trying his best.

So like the uncoolest person ever, Jimmy had to let his baby brother play with him and his friends.

"So what now?" One of Jimmy's friends asked.

"We could play monopoly?" Another suggested.

"Grian can't read the cards," Jimmy said with an attitude.

"Oh," the friend said. The room fell into an awkward silence.

"We can play snap!" Grian cheerfully suggested.

Jimmy made a face, and anxiously looked at his friends. Snap was so uncool.

"Yeah... snap..." another friend said unenthusiastically.

"I know!" Jimmy said, somewhat loudly. "Why don't we play hide and seek?"

His friends looked sceptical.

"Hide and seek!" Grian cheered with a grin.

"Yep! Why don't you hide first, and I'll count?" Jimmy said to his brother.

"Ok!" Grian said cheerfully, before running out of the room.

"One, two, three..."

"Are we seriously playing this?" Jimmy's original friend asked as if the game was beneath him at the wise old age of nine.

"Oh god no," Jimmy assured him with a laugh, "I was just doing that so he'd hide from us and leave us alone."

Jimmy beamed with pride as his friends expressed how impressed they were by his plan.

"So, monopoly?"

~~~

Jimmy and Grian's mum had finally wrapped up a work call that dragged out unnecessarily, should've been an email if you'd asked her, and she had gone into the living room to sit down when she heard the unmistakeable sound of a child sniffling coming from behind the curtain.

She approached, Grian's feet clearly poking out from the bottom. "Grian?"

She pulled the curtain back to reveal her son, sitting on the floor with his arms wrapped around his knees and tears staining his cheeks.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong???" She asked, crouching down so that she could be closer to eye level with him.

"Jimmy s-said that he'd play hide and seek with me, but he hasn't e-even looked in here yet," Grian explained through hiccups and sobs, "I don't think he wants to play with me..."

"Oh, Grian..." his mother said, pulling him in to a hug. "Of course Jimmy wants to play with you, I'm sure he's just been very thorough with his searching."

Grian didn't say anything.

"You know what? I'm so sure I'll check for you, ok?"

Grian nodded, and his mum let the curtain fall over him again. She then stood up and made her way to her eldest son's bedroom. Laughter could be heard from inside, and when she opened the door she saw Jimmy and his friends gathered around a monopoly board.

"I didn't steal your money-" Jimmy insisted with a grin after one of his friends said something.

"Jimmy, can I have a word with you for a minute?" His mum asked, her voice stern.

"Um, ok," Jimmy said, standing up and following his mum out of the room. His smile fell when he saw the frown on her face. "What do you want?"

"Tell me why I found your brother crying in the living room saying you don't want to play with him," she demanded.

Jimmy's eyes dropped to the floor, his ears turning red.

"Well?"

"He wouldn't leave us alone..." Jimmy mumbled quietly, refusing to look his mum in the eye.

"Jimmy, he's your brother!"

"But why can't he follow Joel around for once? He never leaves me alone!" Jimmy exclaimed.

"You're going to go say sorry or I'll send your friends home."

"That's not fair!" Jimmy insisted, but his mum did not care.

"Go," she said finally.

Jimmy let out a huff. "Fine."

His mum watched as he walked over to the living room, keeping an eye on him to make sure he actually apologised to his brother.

"Grian, where are you?" Jimmy called out, looking around the room. It didn't take him long to spot Grian's poorly concealed hiding spot.

He pulled back the curtain. "There you are."

Grian looked up at him, nose still snotty and tears still streaming down his face. "Jim?"

"Um," Jimmy wasn't sure what to do, "you're a good hider?"

"You were looking for me?" Grian stammered, unsure.

"Of course," Jimmy said with less enthusiasm than a truthful answer would've had.

Grian stood up. "Really?"

Jimmy nodded.

Grian smiled. “Can we play snap?”

Jimmy glanced over to where their mum was still standing, watching them. “We were playing monopoly- but you could be on my team?”

“Is monopoly like snap?”

“Not really…” Jimmy responded. 

“Oh.”

Jimmy was trying to come up with something to say to convince Grian that Monopoly was fun when the four year old spoke again.

“Are you good at it?”

Jimmy scoffed. “Uh, duh.”

Grian grinned. “Then we can play monopoly!”

Jimmy grinned back. “Let’s go then!”

Jimmy and Grian then went back to Jimmy’s room to rejoin the game.

“Grian is going to play on my team with me,” Jimmy explained to his friends.

“Can we have a house?” Grian asked, grabbing a fistful of hotels from the box, “I want to make a town.”

“Sure, you make your little town over there-” Jimmy motioned to the spot next to him, but Grian started putting them in the middle of the board- “Or not.”

“You have to tell me what the cards say ‘cause I can’t read,” Grian added matter of factly.

Jimmy made a face. “Sure.”

The game went rather well if Jimmy said so himself, (he came dead last,) despite Grian’s apparent inability not to repeat what the cards said back to Jimmy way too loudly.

Jimmy was smiling as he put the board away after his friends had left.

“Jimmy?” Grian said, approaching his brother, “can we play monopoly again?”

Jimmy stopped to consider this. “You’ll have to be on Joel’s team next time.”

Grian nodded sagely. “Yeah… you weren’t very good.”

“Hey!”

Grian giggled, and Jimmy found himself laughing along with him.

Grian was a pain in the neck, there was no denying that, but sitting there, laughing with his brother, even Jimmy could admit he wasn’t all bad.

Wasn’t going to stop him from trying to pawn him off onto the rest of his family though.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Hidden Fears

I had an idea! For a Drabble! @spotaus get in here friend!

I am not quite sure where in the timeline this one happens though. I can be anywhere really. So no normal prev and next one. So a bit of a stand alone one. No worries I will link this one in my masterpost as well.

First Drabble in the series.

It is somewhere after they got their own house. :3 I hope you guys are ready :3

Warning! It is a bit of a gut punch :3

*--------------------------*

Killer pants as he slowly but surely starts to see through the dark haze that had overtaken his vision.

What happened?

Where is he?

The last thing he remembers... He was... He had been in the field with Horror. they had been trying to... Right. they had been checking the river. Making sure everything was secure.

Killer had just been watching Horror work. Admiring him and how he moved. How he moved the very earth for them to work with and...

and...

Killer groans as he rubs his skull and sits up. He glances at the gorund and everything is covered in his goop.

Fuck... fuck no no no no.

No!

He can't have...

There is NO WAY...

He hadn't had one of those episodes in ages!

Killer had thought... He had thought he was over that... He thought he got PASSED that.

A laugh.

Killer freezes.

"It has been a while. Partner."

Killer turns around and glares at the demon that wears the face of a child. Chara smiles back.

"What is wrong partner? Did you really think I was done with you?" they giggle.

Fear.

No. No no no no.

Killer looks around himself. Where are they?! Where are his mates?! WHERE IS THEIR CHILD?!?

another giggle "Did you really think you could just change? That you could be anything but my weapon and partner? That isn't how this works s-"

Killer shouts "SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" It is fine. He starts running. He has to find them somewhere! It is okay. it has to be okay!

There is no way he... no. there is NO way. Not after everything they have gone through. Not with how strong they are! There is no way.

Dust would ahve murdered him before Killer could ever harm Nightmare.

Cross would have held him down and tied him up to make sure he didn't do anything.

Horror doesn't even need to do much. Horror is much stronger than he is.

It is fine!

Chara is bluffing.

Killer just needs to find them! That is all!

He runs out of the forest and gets back to their little area. He looks down by the side of the river and freezes. that is... there is dust on the ground... no... no no no no! There is no way!

He couldn't have killed Horror! horror is too strong! There is no way Killer could have bested him in a fair fight...

Unless... unless it wasn't fair... unless killer attacked him when his back was turned... because H trusts them...

Killer shakes and looks with fear to the house. please... please don't let him have... he rushes over.

The door into the house looks fine and he freezes... How does he explain this to them? How does he explain what happened? That he... His hands shake as he slowly pushes the door open "Guys.... guys i fucked up... i-"

everything is dark.

no... no please.

Killer eases into the area and looks around. He checks the nest first and part of his soul breaks at finding more dust.

Right... It was Dust's rest day. He would ahve been asleep...

Killer sobs as he looks around. Cross... Cross must be hiding with Nightmare! He has to be!

He swallows and speaks "Cross? Cross please... please tell me you are okay... please tell me you got Nighty..."

silence.

please... Please fuck please...

Nothing...

Killer checks the gardena nd green house but finds nobody.

He looks at the ladder leading to the attic and the ladder leading down. He first moves upstairs. He makes sure to make noise and speak "I am sorry... i am normal agian... please be oaky." he is sorry. he didn't mean! He didn't think!

he gets to the attic and doesn't even need to search it. He finds Cross's knife on a pile of dust.

Killer wants to roll up and cry. not ever move again.

Why? Why did this have to happen? Was it because he got too comfrotable? too happy? what went wrong? why would he... why would he ever?

Killer forces himself up and searches the attic. He doesn't find Nightmare. He also doesn't find another pile of dust.

He rushes back downstairs, almost falling, before rushing into the cellar.

They hadn't cleaned this one up yet. mostly because they weren't sure what to do with it yet. it was messy and dirty and Killer has to carefully navigate it all or fear hitting something.

Not that Killer cares much about getting hurt at this point. But he forces himself to be careful. There is still one chance... please... please be okay.

soft mumbles and Killer follows it. careful hope starts to build as he calls out "Nightlight?"

the mumble goes quiet.

Killer feels something in him break "I am sorry... I am so sorry. I didn't mean... I know it is a weak excuse... but please... please i need to make sure you are safe..."

silence. Killer moves forwards and finds a small bundle in a corner. shivering...

Cross must have hid him here... knowing he can't keep invisible all the time. Cross must have made the hard choice to hide Nightmare and try and lure him away.

Which worked...

Killer sits on his knees and stares at the little bundle. still shivering. Hidden away in a corner. "Ngihty?"

The bundle freezes.

Killer shakes as he reaches for their- well now his baby. He manages to get a hold and the bundle immediantly starts to struggle and Killer's soul aches.

"No let go of me! I hate you!"

Killer feels a part of his soul break as he pulls their baby close and prays.

please. please still work.

But their souls aren't syncing up. Nightmare's soul doesn't calm down. He keeps struggling and trying to get away.

Killer sobs and just holds their baby. He will keep him safe still. Find a place where he can be safe. Where he won't be hurt again where Killer can actually keep him safe. please. just please.

He doens't want to be alone.

"Funny how you thought you could escape me in any meaningful way."

He is sorry.

So sorry-

--

Killer sits up and pants as he looks around.

Their... their home? their nest? Wait! where is nighty?! where-

He freezes as he sees all three of his mates sound asleep in the enst wiht him. Nightmare snuggled close to Cross and asleep himself.

A.... dream? A nightmare?

Killer can't help but laugh as he pulls his knees close. putting his skull against his knees as he feels more goop leave his sockets with his tears.

He should be happy. They are fine. Nothing with wrong. Everything is okay.

It had felt so real... he hadn't... he hadn't thoguth about those type of things in so long. he hadn't thought about chara in so long. He really thought he was free... That all of that was just a thing of the past.

Maybe he is getting too comfortable? what if he looses it still? what if he kills... what if he kills...

He needs fresh air.

Killer escapes the nest and rushes outside. He stands on their porch breathing heavily as he just watches the goop drip from his sockets and fall on the fench.

A yawn behind him and soft steps "Waht are you doing out?"

Killer doesn't look up. He leans his skull on his crossed arms and shrugs "Nothing. Go back to the nest bunny." He doens't... he doesn't want.

another yawn but no steps that he leaves. Killer and Dust jsut stand there in the cooling night. quietly side by side.

Killer eventually glances at Dust and finds him just staring out over their area. appearing relaxed but Killer knows Dust better now. Dust is very alert. Keeping watch as Killer does his thing.

Killer looks away and mutters "i am fine. it is stupid anyway."

Dust hums "doubt it if you are crying."

Fuck so he did notice that.

Killer just shrugs again.

Dust hums and nods "Fair enough." and continues to keep watch.

They stand there for a while until Killer sighs "It is nothing Dusty... really... just... stupid shit..."

Dust hums but doens't say anything and he stays right there.

Killer groans and rubs the marks left by his tears away "Just a stupid bad dream that is all."

Dust hums again as he continues to look out "what was it about?"

Killer freezes and tightens his grip on the banister.

Dust hums again "Can't help but notice that you left your knives by the nest instead of taking them wiht you."

Killer knows he flinched.

Dust sighs as he actually turns around and leans back against the fench as he crosses his arms. "If you don't talk about it it will stay stuck in your skull."

Killer doesn't want to talk about it. There is something seriously wrong with him that he even thought about the posibility of killing them. What is worng iwht him?!

Dust just stares at him expecting "Kills. What was your drema about?"

Killer sighs and puts his skul bakc in his hands and it just comes tumbling out. what happened what he did. How much it hurt.

Dust hums and nods "Yeah i get it. got similar stuff."

Killer blinks and looks up confused "Waht?"

Dust nods "Paps used to tell me I had to kill all of you multiple times a day. I didn't obviously but it was a thing. Not as much anymore. I think Nightmare's new domain kinda caused him to disappear as I haven't heard him in a long time."

Killer knows about Dust's brother of course. There is no way to not know when dust just stares at a random corner in the room like a cat. Killer hadn't known that he said that!

"Waht made you not do it?"

Dust shrugs "didn't want to." He shoots killer a look "They are just thoughts Kills. dreams and nightmares are weird. They don't show what we want or desire. They just show random thoughts and things we see. Fears we unknowlingly think about and fear." he nudges their shoulders together before he goes towards the front door again "Take as long as you need. But you know yourself best. You know how you start acting when you start going into one of those other stages and phases." he gets to the door and pauses "Also. Horror wouldn't stay dead. He would eventually come back as he is connected to his worlds core. Cross may not fight dirty like you but he knows how you fight." he shrugs at Killer "And I am a lot harder to kill than you give me credit for."

And dust disappears back inside.

Killer watches the calm dark night for a moment longer before slowly going back to the others.

Dust lays back with Cross and Horror and has his sockets closed. Nightmare is yawning sleepily as he rubs his sockets. looking around confused.

Kilelr stands frozen beside the nest.

Ngihtmare flinching away and trying to struggle out of his hold. Telling him he hates him.

Nightmare spots him and yawns. tiny fangs visible for a moment before he looks at him sleepily and holds out his arms and hands to him wiht a quiet hum.

Killer almost falls over himself to get to his baby. He quickly joins the nest and hugs him close. Nightmar ehums happily and tugs his skull right under Killer's.

Killer sighs as he hugs Nightmare close and mutters "I swear to you. I promise you. I will never willingly hurt you."

Ngihtmare hums sleepily and yawns "okay dad..."

Killer feels the last part of him finally heal from the night terror as he lays by his mates with their baby.

Killer ignores the fact that dust now has a smug smile on his face.

Killer however does move around enough until he can also pull dust into a hug. Dust makes a token annoyed grumble but doesn't fight him.

Killer relaxes and lets himself fall asleep again as he feels Ngihtmare's and his own soul sync up again.

*--------------------------*

[sonicjustbecause]

I always saw Sonic as more mature and darker than Mario since 1991

Well, actually Tails was the first realization of this aspect.

I still laugh when I and my friends (two fraternal twin sister, just few months younger than me) were talking about Dr Eggman:

The twins: 'Here comes the mad scientist!' Me: 'Is he evil?' The twins: 'No' Me: 'So, what he wants to do to Sonic?' The twins: 'Kill him' Me: 'then, he IS evil!'

I didn't think much about that back then. many of my favourite cartoons contained dark scenes. In the Smurf there were episodes where they talked about death sencences, animal cruelty (shown), even racism sometimes. And weapons. Those were pretty normal stuffs in kids cartoons.

Although in a kid friendly way, if the animal was hurt, once saved it remained hurt and had to be cared through recovery, it didn't magicallly heal.

Then Tails came

What caught my attention were his twins tails. The obvious representation of diversity through design that wasn't the usual 'guy/gal in weelchair who turns out to be a Mary Sue'. I think a different kind of diversity that is often overlooked.

Tails was a child, he was flawed, he could do things Sonic could not but he also could do not do things Sonic could do, and he was very unexperienced. His twin tails gave him advantages but only to a degree. you could love him or hate him easily because he was made to be relatable, not to be loved or hated by everybody.

Well, since my understanding was low and i also was also a child, i assumed tails got two Tails after Eggman experimented on him, and somehow he escaped from his clutches (helped by Sonic most likely).

I though also Sonic could be an experiment of sort, with his blue fur, his speed and his vaguely feline face despite being a hedgehog. I wonderd how gruesome the experiment were. Especially because Sonic series also showed actual beasts, like Pocky, Flicky etc...

Sonic SatAM also was quite dark, when people were turned into robots by Eggman (who truly was evil, and who also had some accident woth his own inventions that left him scarred forever), the struggle, the fear was shown.

Sonic's tears

Mandates existed. Also in the past. All side materials what were sold - cartoons, comics etc were all SEGA approved after being supervised, including Sonic SatAM, Aosth, Sonic Underground, Archie comics etc...

But Sonic could cry, how?

Well, mandates before Iizuka were way looser and used to leave a great room of freedom to all Sonic authors. Archie comics also had lots of scenes with Sonic crying, all supervised and approved. Latest time Sonic was seen crying was in Sonic Adventure 2, then in Sonic Prime, but it had to be contained (By the time of Adventure 2 it was Maekawa's deliberate choice. Mandates were still loose. With Sonic Prime Sonic had to hold back).

Tears of grief

Here the former limits of mandates about sonic crying, tears are there and the sadness is still convincing.

Today you have to be sneaky for this. Sonic is not being tsundere here but is showing the emotions of another character who linked with Sonic before and that can't cry for obvious reasons. Noticed how casual Sonic's expression is. They even needed to underline that Sonic never cries, doesn't matter what, through dialogues.

So cold...

if it was made in the early 2000s I would have seen more emotion in this scene. This is after Sonic's friends saves Sonic from cyber corruption. If he is sure he can save them, he isn't supposed to cry, but at least look more worried.

In Sonic 2 for Sega Master System, in one of the two endings, Tails dies. and Sonic looks up the sky, remembering him.

Familiar, uh?

Sonic doesn't always have to be dark. He works well with light hearted things. But he is part of a context were death and violence were shown from the start

Sonic didn't look always happy and used to have lots of Shadow vibes and attitudes in certain situations.

Mario

Mario, though seen as Sonic rival game mascotte, was something different. It was never dark. All characters have a pudgy look and are joyful. Even the villains are quite hilarious. they may be treatening but they aren't nearly as seriously evil and cruel as Dr. Eggman

Anything was shown to be light hearted and humorous. Mario's exaggerated Italian accent, parodies of well known fairy tales and movies (King Kong, the various fairy tales with the princess in distress) everything turns happy and sad scenes are never intense.

This is the darkest thing in Mario. And is hilarious.

[unpopularopinionbydemand]

Top 10 BL Series of 2024 !

Another list nobody asked for, but I'm bored, so here we are.

Overall, I saw 39 series this year (lower than it ever has been before, but I was not on my zoom for the first 6 months of 2024), and what I've noticed is that it has steadily gone down ever since I've been watching since 2020.

Previous years:

2020 - 60 series

2021 - 44 series (not sure what happened here??)

2022 - 68 series

2023 - 46 series

Even still, with 2021 and 2023 also being pretty low, I still can't believe that I only managed to watch 39 series within a year.

Ratings of 2024:

10 stars - 3 series

9 stars - 8 series

8 stars - 10 series

7 stars - 10 series

6 stars - 4 series

5 stars - 3 series

4 stars - 1 series

1-3 stars - 0 series (if i think it's that bad, then what's the point of watching...?)

I think with this year, I scored a lot differently than I did in the past, and I let the overall flaws or critics of a series overpower my overall enjoyment of it, which kinda stinks, but that's okay.

My Goal for 2025:

I can't really predict what I see and if I'll like it or not, but I'd like to at least rate 6 series with 10 stars.

I wanna pay more attention to the music and OSTs in series! I basically rate music between 5-7 because I never care to pay that much attention to it, and really only rate it a 7 if it was something I can remember. This time, I'll try to not skip through the intro and be able to remember the OST/Music.

And Lastly, my biggest goal that I have zero effing idea if I'll be able to do or just completely fall straight on my ass: watch at least 60 series this year. We'll see...

Anyways, getting into the actual point of this post, my top 2024 BLs! This list is as predictable as any other list seeing as I only watched what was popular or most talked about instead of going off of my usual list. I still haven't even watched a couple of the standout BLs of 2024 like My Stand-In, The Curse of Taekwondo, 4Minutes, Love in The Big City, or Monster Next Door (I will be on it this year 🫡).

From Most Favorite to Least Most Favorite: I will link my review for each series through the title (Potential Spoliers!!)!

1. Anti-Reset (9-stars)

I know, it shocks me too, but the reason it's my overall number one series of 2024 is because it was able to get me out of my very occasional BL slump. I desperately needed something new, something that wasn't a bunch of uniforms or office jargon, and this series was just perfect. It's the first in the BL genre (to my knowledge) that takes on the robot/human trope and I ate every single second of this series up.

Now the story isn't perfect, but it provided me with everything I usually love in a series, and all of it was wrapped in a pretty bow and left on my depressing door step.

2. I Became the Lead in a BL Drama (10-stars)

With only 3 episodes, each about 45 minutes long, IBTLIABLD hits hard in all aspects, specifically making me laugh my ass off, but also hitting you in the heart where it hurts. 

The leads' dynamic was so heartwarming to me. The perfect height difference, the perfect balance of cheeky and cute, portraying moments that made me pause so I could laugh, or moments when I had to pause so that I could regain my composure and not cry. A truly lovely pairing, played by some really fantastic actors.

3. Takara's Treasure (10-stars)

How can one be so perfectly handsome and incredibly endearing simultaneously? I'll tell you who, Eito, the mastermind behind the character Taishin who's an all-around cutey that I wanted to put in my back pocket. But besides how adorable he was, I thoroughly enjoyed this JBL. It balanced out the actual story plus romance very well, and I watched this without being bored or skipping through or wanting to scream at my laptop.

Taishin and Takara's relationship is my cup of tea. The stoic seme and the bubbly uke, urgh, they were perfect. And again, what added just the perfect cherry on top was Eito, who's the prettiest, cutest, most handsomest man I've seen in BL in a while, and he can also act!

4. Century of Love (9-stars)

I'm amazed at the amount of focus I had while watching this BL. I was able to watch it thoroughly and throughout without getting bored, or skipping past, or fast-forwarding. The entirely of the plot flowed perfectly, it never strayed into unwanted or unnecessary side arcs, it all was told in favor of the main couple, and I loved it. 

San as the man that waits 100 years to be back with his love, and Wee, the uncanny Ms.Wad reborn. This had my name written all over it. It reminded me a lot of the Korean series "First Love Again" which I adored for the longest time, and this trope has made it's way up the ranking of things I hope to see more of.

5. Two Worlds (9-stars)

I'm so happy that I decided against my better judgment and decided to watch this series because, in the end, I actually really liked it. Some parts give you a run for your money, and others I'm not so sure about, but overall, this series has more ups than downs, and tells a story interesting enough to keep me engaged.

Some of the best NC scenes in BL, and I don't say that because they were naked and we saw everything (and I mean everything), but because there was so much love poured into the way it was acted out, and you can tell it was genuine and organic. Great job to Max and Nat.

6. My Love Mix-Up! (7-Stars)

Had I been discussing the first 8 episodes of this series, I would've told you it was an amazing, jaw-dropping, brilliant series. Except, they went on for 4 more episodes and it completely plummeted on its face after that. What could've been a really neat and tidy 8 episode series was stretched to fill that usual GMMTV 12-ep series, but in reality, it should've just stayed 8 episodes.

Then you ask, "why is it in your top 10 of 2024?", because I loved Half and Mudmee more than I can explain in words... literally. There was one point I was specifically watching for purely only them, and even skipped through some of the boring stuff between Kong and Atom. Even though by the end of the series, Half and Mudmee are done terribly wrong, it doesn't matter cause that's just how much I stinking loved them.

7. This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (9-Stars)

They executed this series so well, and it's seriously why I love this production company so much. They don't do the unnecessary long stares or dragged-out conversations or irrelevant side plots. They stick to the story, going from point A to point B, and everything that we see in the series happens for a reason. The conversations are all what they need to be, and the story flows with little to no unnecessary bumps.

They took their NC scenes to a completely different level, one that I don't feel like I see often. it's obviously well acted out, and the actors were comfortable enough with one another to execute such amazing scenes. But even with the jaw-dropping sex scenes, my utmost favorite part of the series is Oab holding Wan accountable for his actions and them having an open and honest conversation before getting back together. Lots of time the plot can be lost for a quick resolution between two characters, but the writers ensure to the audience that it's going to take much more than that, and that made me happy. 

8. We Are (7-Stars)

I actually really enjoyed this a lot, initially. The set up of the characters, their dynamics, the start of their relationships, I really really enjoyed it. However, once you get past the 11th episode, with some little hidden gems in the latter, this series falls completely on its face.

Tan and Fang. They were everything to me. The stoic uke and bubbly seme, literally my favorite trope ever, I absolutely loved it down to pieces. Aou, hands down, played the best out of all the characters. His personality doesn't waver, he continues being supportive and protective and clingy, and I loved him. There the reason this series makes it into my top 10.

9. Cherry Magic Thailand (8-stars)

The few first episodes were the best out of the entire series. The building of the characters and the setup of the overall plot was golden. I was sitting on the edge of my seat throughout it all, feeling so intrigued with Achi listening to Karan's thoughts, the connection between Achi and Jinta, the office relationship, and the overall pleasantness of the series. I'm glad they kept the iconic elevator scene and they executed it perfectly.

Junior (Jinta) was by far my favorite actor/character. He took this quirky role and made it work perfectly in this remake. His conversations with Achi, his reactions to MIn, his way of analyzing and thinking and reacting, all of it was legit perfect. It was also so nice to see Mark (min) again since Sky in Your Heart. He did an incredible job in this -- showing how versatile his acting is compared to his character in SIYH. Their setup was nearly perfect, and their continued build-up was so good that I was rooting for them more than I was for Achi and Karan at one point (even though their story was a bit upsetting).

10. Sahara Sensei to Toki-kun (8-Stars)

In the first couple of episodes, I was immediately hooked on the story. Toki, a delinquent falls for his PE teacher who is everything opposite, and it starts the tale of a wild, hilarious, and rather touching romance story.

There are some parts that hit the nail on the comedy, and while this series is heavily overexaggerated, that is probably my favorite part. Rinataro as Toki plays up the dramatics so perfectly in this, it's insane. From his facial expressions to the way he talks, to his body language, I loved all of it. 

very VERY excited to see what the new year brings us. A few of my most anticipated series of this year (in order) that I'll most likely do episode reviews on:

Happy Ending

The Next Prince

Boys In Love

Burnout Syndrome

I'm the Most Beautiful Count

Thanks for reading all of this :)

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

10 BL Boys That I Want "Carnally"

aka The Horny List

I was tagged by @my-rose-tinted-glasses @twig-tea @rocketturtle4 and @nieves-de-sugui 🤍 Thank you so much! And sorry I am late to the game! I am lying down with a cold right now... what means I had a little time to think about this list and to respect my own weak heart for bad boys and puppy guys... The heart wants what the heart wants...

Starting the list with one of the softest and warmest bad boys out there right now:

Mhok from Last Twilight

He stole my heart from the beginning and never gave it back. I guess he will keep it for eternity. And that is totally fine! He has the biggest heart and is the biggest green flag disguised as a red flag that is walking the bl-world right now. I love how he looks at Day, how he takes care for him and how he slowly fell for him.

I guess the second one doesn't come as a surprise when you look at my profle pic:

Boeing from Only Friends

He is just sex on a stick and I am still mad that he got introduced so late into the show. He would have been so much fun to watch destroying the whole "friend group" piece by piece. I would have watched such a show. Well I guess I would watch a show in which he just leans out of the pool like that for 40 minutes straight and I wouldn't be mad...

On third we have our first couple, because one doesn't work without the other:

DongWook and DoHyun from A Breeze Of Love

I was so freaking happy seeing those two wanting each other. Those two were in love with each other, not just on an emotional level but on a physical level attracted to each other and the series didn't hide it! It is my favorite bl of this year and the mutual attraction played into it. And those two are just two lost puppies who wants to love and be loved and urgh! I love them!

Going on to an old crush of mine:

Forth from 2 Moons 2

Yes, it is mostly Pavel, but I really liked this soft bad boy with this rascal hair cut and the tattoos. I loved his whole character and yes in the end I am just a weak girl, because look at him!

One character I wish I could drag out of the screen and keep as my own little prince of his stupid white horse:

Yai from I Feel You Linger In The Air

He is one of the prettiest men I ever saw and his puppy eyes with which he is looking at Jom and the soft voice whenever he says his name were making me weak in the knees. He is a total romantic and just wants to love and be loved in return. He is the perfect gentleman and loyal till the end. He needs a strong partner at his side to be the best version of himself and when he dances, the whole world stops for a moment.

Coming to a very much new pic for me and it is a pairing again:

Naoki and Yamashiro from Kiss x Kiss x Kiss: Love ii Shower

I mean Naoki looked like a greek god and Yamashiro was just so sensual in this short episode. I have to confess, I couldn't find a version with subtitles, so I don't know exactly what they were talking about, but in the end, did I really care that much, especially when they started using a language I could understand very good? No, not really. Sometimes I just like looking at beautiful people kissing each other.

One of my long-lasting loves:

Mark from Love Mechanics

I adore War. I love him so much and I am going feral when Jack & Joker really comes real next year. He has one of the best faces out there. He looks good crying and being evil and of course laughing. And Mark was such a lost puppy prick and Vee treated him really shitty for most of the times, but because I love Vee too, I can't be too hard on him. But Mark, I want to give him a hug... everytime all the time!

And on we go with another recent catch for my eyes:

Phaya from The Sign

He is such a flirt and he makes it very clear that he likes Tharn and I love that for us. He is one of the people I want to be hold in their arms just like Tharn here. I can't wait for those two to finally give in to their feelings! And for the mystical plot to unfold itself more, because I really want to know what is going on! And I want those two to save each other.

The next one is called Papi Chulo on TikTok and I can see why:

Sailom from Wedding Plan

The series might not be the best one out there and Papi Chulo might be frustrating for some people, but I loved them both! Lom is such a treat and for most of the times I understand why he acted like he did. And after he came clean with Namnuea he was the best boyfriend/fiancé. And he has one of the best smiles out there and such a cute mole!

Closing this list with the one character I am going feral at the moment whenever he is on screen:

Prom from Playboyy

He has this pure lust in his eyes whenever he looks at Nont and I love it. I don't know if I would trust Prom, but be sure if this man wants to put on a mask and punish me in his basement I would let him... He is one of my guilty pleasures right now and I would watch the series just for him and his fucked up relationship with Nont.

This was fun! I am so late to the game, I am not tagging anyone, because I know many have done it already and I don't want to double tag :) But if you see this and want to do it yourself, feel free to make your own list and tag me, so I can have a look at your picks 😊

[julianalvarez9]

forget me / mason mount

part of the "broken by desire to be heavenly sent" series, can be read as an stand-alone.

mentions of: alcohol and the consumption of, kepa arrizabalaga, ben chilwell, christian pulisic, asshole!mason, break-up, alleged cheating, crying, swearing, angst, no happy ending (for him at least)

wc: 1.792 words.

"days ache and nights are long, two years and still you're not gone. guess I'm still holding on".

the days seemed to weigh differently on mason's head this past month. they were impossibly heavy, with the days getting shorter and the nights painfully long due to the creeping winter. but if it wasn't for the changing seasons, mason didn't really know what to attribute it to: that was what annoyed him the most, that he didn't know the reason, so he couldn't do anything to avoid feeling this way. but waking up that morning and checking the date, something clicked. this would have been your five year anniversary, but instead, was the fateful date you two broke up, two years ago.

"you told your friends you want me dead and said that i did everything wrong; and you're not wrong".

the breakup had not been amicable, no matter what you tried to make believe on social media. his fans never really liked you, for starters, and you weren't planning on moving out of the country anytime soon, so you two decided that the best way to proceed with things was just stop contact all-together. no more likes on his instagram pics, and certainly not more comments from his page to yours. eventually, you unfollowed him too, not being able to stand his face after what had happened between the two of you.

words travel fast, and even more so, when your best friend, in which you confide all that you feel, is his best friend's girlfriend.

"you really fucked it up, mate" ben sighed, and the hold mason had over his handbag tigthened, almost turning his knuckles white form the force. "do you think i don't fucking know it already?".

"'cause i'm not ready to find out you know how to forget me. i'd rather hear how much you regret me, and pray to god that you never met me, than forget me".

the party is loud, as one expects it to be, but still, it bother mason to no end. his head hurts since he woke up this morning, his training went like shit, and now, ben's dragging him up to some bar. he broke up with his girlfriend a few days ago and he needs a distraction, or so he says, although mason is beginning to think this is not about getting a distraction for chelsea's number 21, but rather, for himself.

he doesn't mind it, though, when he finds something to keep his eyes focused on. or rather, someone. at first, he doesn't see her face: she's giving his back to him, but still, he can appreciate how nice her figure is. and then, she turns to say something to the guy beside her, and mason recognizes her face in an instant. it's you.

"since when are y/n and kepa friends?" mason can't keep his brows from furrowing when he recognizes the man by your side is their teammate. the grip he had on the glass tightens when you place your hand over the goalkeeper's neck, bringing his head down a bit for you to be able to speak in his ear, the size difference clear between the two of you. his body is almost covering your frame, and it has chelsea's number 19 almost breaking his neck trying to get a glimpse of you. see what's going on between the two of you. see where his hands are wandering. where his hands, mason's, should be instead.

"i think they're seeing each other" christian says, rubbing the back of his neck in an uncomfortable gesture. ben's far gone now, whether because he found someone to distract himself with, or because he went to the bar to order a few drinks for the three british men. "since when do you know?" mount asks, almost hurt that he was the last one finding this out. he knows no one owes nothing to him, not after how it all ended, but it still hurts him to see you laughing with another man.

with kepa, nonetheless.

"i don't know, a few months?" he tilts his head back, taking a sip of his beer before he speaks again. "please, don't do anything you regret. we can go somewhere else if you want".

"no, no, i'm okay" mason says, or rather, lies. and even if christian knows it is, in fact, not okay, he doesn't say anything. rather, agrees with his friend, just in time for ben to bring the vodka shots he always ends up regretting in the morning, but still, downing them, one by one, until he couldn't think straight anymore.

"i hate to know i made you cry but love to know i cross your mind".

mason, whether he had done it on purpose or not, had been keeping tabs on you and kepa all night long. it seemed like the two of you were having a good time, laughing and dancing together, but not too close to bother your ex. he even thought that, maybe, christian had heard wrong: maybe you two were friends. yeah, it seemed like you two were close, but not romantically-involved close. mason knew it was of no use, hoping for you and kepa to not be together, given that there was virtually no chance of him getting you back. but still, knowing that you were with someone else, effectively, would turn his hopes to shreds.

he doesn't miss when you, seemingly, run away from the scene like you've caught fire, or something. he doesn't miss that it comes after your eyes meet, and then, when his companion scans the place to see what had triggered her that way and sees the midfielder, his jaw locks.

but he doesn't go after you.

he gets up before his friends realize, and disappears so quickly that christian and ben are left wondering when did mason vanish like that. he didn't even see where you were going before getting up, but he knew you, so his feet did the job of getting him where you were.

the cold weather hit him hard when he finally got outside, making your harsh words seem almost kind. "oh, great, just what i needed tonight. to see your stupid fucking face up close," you mutter, directing your hands back to your face, facing the pavement, and angrily cleaning up the tears under your eyes. "why are you crying?" was the first thing mason said after crossing the back door, and almost like it was second nature, slipping off his jacket to rest them on your bare shoulders.

"what the fuck, mason?" you get up angrily, brows furrowed while taking big steps towards him. you take the jacket off your figure quickly, to give it back to its owner, before his perfume can intoxicate you again. he doesn't take it, though, so you're left holding onto a piece of him, even if you don't want to. this is the first time, in the two years you've been broken up, that the conversation extends longer than a friendly greeting. "you don't get to ask for anything," you said, accentuating the you by pointing a finger into his chest accusingly.

"why are you crying?" mason repeats, maybe too worried to actually hear what you just have said. that he didn't get to ask you anything. "did he do something? i'll fucking kill him" he says, and you scoff at his boldness. how dare he.

"no, mason, he didn't do anything. he isn't you" it would be a lie to say that these words didn't destroy his soul. but still, his face remained stoic, hand always wanting to touch you but retreating at the last minute in case you didn't welcome his touch like you did before. it was meant to happen, he wouldn't be surprised by it, but he would continue hurting himself in the process.

"he's just too good for me. i keep waiting for him to fuck it up. to wake up one day with photos of him kissing some girl flooding every tabloid" mason winces at the memory, two years having gone by but still feeling the regret seeping into his blood flow. "but it never comes. and he waits for me. he's been waiting ever since you fucking tore my heart to pieces, and i can't keep on wasting his time because of you".

"'cause i'm not ready to find out you'd know how to forget me, even after all this time".

the silence has been heavy between you two since the admission. the music is loud enough to be heard from out here, but you want to finish this quickly. not only because you can't stand to be in mason's orbit again for more than five minutes, but because you know kepa must be on the other side, listening, even if it isn't what he wants. he doesn't want to intrude. all these months he has been kindly waiting for his chance, showing you he's the right one for you. and even if you, sometimes, still wake up thinking of mason, or even dreaming about him, he understands. you don't think he'll be around any longer if you don't give him the green light soon, and destroying this beautiful thing you've built due to the glooming shadow of your cheating ex doesn't seem right. it isn't.

"i'll say yes," you conclude, lifting your head from the pavement. he's standing on the way to the door, so you don't have any other choice but to walk straight towards him. you extend your arm again, trying to give him back his jacket for the final time, but again, he doesn't take it. instead, his hands fly to your wrist, and you're stuck there, too close to him again. "no, you won't," mason says through gritted teeth, and you scoff. "i'm not fucking asking!".

his caramel brown eyes have turned regretful from one moment to the other, and you have to look behind him to avoid feeling guilty about all of this. "and i'm not telling you, i'm begging you not to say yes" he says, looking for you eyes, but you don't give into it.

the cold london air is just what you need when you breathe, helping you sober up a bit more. reality washes over you, the hurt you've felt all this time, ever since you woke up one fateful morning to find the articles of mason and another girl too damn close to be just friends, no matter what he tried to explain to you they were. the anger is far gone now, only the disappointment is left in you. "maybe if you hadn't fucked it up the first time you wouldn't need to be begging for a second chance, mason".

[fairyfantasma]

i'm on a mission to read the 70+ books/series on my tbr so this list will probably change and evolve but here are some of my current favorite characters of all time ! (lmk what some of yours are !)

part 1: book characters

Lucie Herondale (Official Art by Charlie Bowater, The Last Hours series by Cassandra Clare): she's so me, she's silly, she's a writer, she writes borderline erotic fanfiction about her best friend, she sees and controls ghosts, she's the daughter of my favorite characters so she is my favorite character ^3 (cubed) (herongraystairs) <3.

Princess Leia (Art from Star Wars #12 by Stuart Immonen. "Leia, Princess of Alderaan" by Claudia Gray): i love leia in general but in this book my love for her grew x10000. she was 16 and so so angry at everything and the way she grew into her role as a rebel was >>> plus her dynamic with amilyn holdo was delightful. hot take: they should have kissed...

Xie Lian (Image from Heaven Official's Blessing Donghua Adaptation, TGCF aka "Heaven Official's Blessing" by MXTX): The only male character i've ever said HES SO MEEE to, largely cause he's a cancer zodiac like me <3 ascended at 17, went from a crown prince to the god of misfortune and scraps :'(, a virgin for 800+ years, abandoned by everyone except his 1 believer, was banished from the heavens TWICE but ascended three times, cursed, hit rock bottom and then hit it again and then hit it again, nevertheless he chooses to be kind, just wants to help people, he never knows whether to laugh or cry, he's suffered more than jesus, he's so tragic i love him.

Inej Ghafa (Official art for SDCC by Kevin Wada, Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo) : also a cancer zodiac like me hehe (automatically if a character's sign is cancer they get promoted in my brain it seems...) she endured unspeakable horrors and survived, she's a spy, skilled with knives aka the best weapon, she still has faith despite it all and she's so determined to live the best life she can, she's kind !! but also deadly!! so in conclusion, thee best character in the grishaverse + she's called "wraith" aka ghost and ghosts are kinda my thing <3

NEIL JOSTEN (Art from Dazzlingbookishshop special edition cover for The Foxhole Court by @polartss, AFTG series by Nora Sakavic): *SCREAMS* he's my everything. another character who has suffered more than jesus. no one gets him like i get him. most main character to ever main character. i love you paranoid characters who are always running but find a reason to stay <\3. i love his selflessness and his intelligence and his cockiness and his desperation. i love a bunch of aftg characters (most recently jean) but neil is neil. best thing to ever happen to me. no further comment. i can't think of anything else to say i just LOVE him. (and yes him and andrew are the epitome of love)

Annabeth Chase (Fan Art of Annabeth Chase by @madicanart, PJO series by Rick Riordon): ANOTHER ONE (cancer zodiac) my first love. i wanted to be her so bad as a kid. she had curly hair and i have curly hair so i was like YES she's me (she + hermione were my idols). i wore owl-themed jewelry for years cause of her. another smart, kind, and not to be messed with character <3 she was afraid of spiders, and often too prideful, and was always wanting to make her mom proud, and had a complicated relationship with her father. all of that hit a little too close to home :') + her wanting to be an architect in order to build something permanent .. shatters my heart to this day.

Citra Terranova (Scythe Official Bookmark art created for @milleetunlivres_box by @kat_adara, Arc of a Scythe series by Neal Shusterman): her character arc is probably my favorite character arc to this day, she went from a somewhat bratty girl with low empathy to the most empathetic scythe. smart, kind, and strong-willed, she said "i vow to become the change that could have been" and then she did !! seeing how much she grew as a person from book 1 to book 2 was incredible. book 3 was a bit of a letdown but citra's character was still the highlight for me.

Blue Sargent AND Ronan Lynch (Official Art from The Raven Cycle Graphic Novel Adaptation Art by Sas Milledge, The Raven Cycle Series by Maggie Stiefvater): i tried to only pick one character per fandom but they're a package deal for me !!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHHHHH !!! they're the most characters to ever character, where else can i find an amplifying half-tree manic pixie alt girl from a family of psychics and a eldrich horror gay catholic farmer. don't get me wrong, i love all of the raven cycle gang but these two spoke to me deep in my soul. like i need to be their friend so badly, i would give anything !!

Benji Ovich (Fanart of Benji Ovich by painacotta, Beartown by Fredrik Backman): the newest edition to my fav characters list. beartown made me cry so much my tearducts no longer produced tears and i got a dehydration headache. i'm not yet done with the series but he's the tragic type of character that i know is going to wreak my psyche and destroy my spirit. raised by women, has a bear tattoo, described as "the boy with the most handsome face, saddest eyes, and the wildest heart they've ever seen". my heart is already broken for him.

sidenote: MORE PEOPLE NEED TO READ BEARTOWN AND DRAW FANART, WE'RE STARVING

runner ups: julian blackthorn from the dark artifices series, PERCY JACKSON !!!, tarisai from raybearer, & zoya nazyalensky from the king of scars duology

& special mention for my resident insane girls: pip fitz-amobi from agggtm, mara dyer from the mara dyer series, lissa dragomir from the vampire academy books, & juliette ferrars from shatter me