#I can't tell if I'm bad at writing now or if I'm just depressed

[with-my-calamitous-love]

i’ll be in denial for at least a little while / what about the plans we made?

ya! k. bakugou x reader

after a month with radio silence and encouragement from concerned friends and family, you end up at katsuki’s doorstep. themes of depression/isolation, mentions of death (katsuki failed to protect a family on a mission), angst with some comfort at the end.

one of those ones i just needed to write. special tag for @crushmeeren <3

song: tv

11:03 pm.

"he doesn't normally do this." you have eijirou on speaker phone while you look for your keys. you can't see him, but you know already the worried look in his red eyes as he speaks. its the same worry he's had for katsuki back when they were still in UA. its the worry you'd expect from a best friend.

he can't see you, but he knows you're worried, too. because anyone who gets thoroughly ghosted by their boyfriend with no warning would also have shaky hands as they drive over to check on them. anyone who cares about someone else, worries.

"you said he's still coming to work, though?" you know the answer. yes, you've heard from shouto that he's still heading to the agency regularly, going on patrol and field missions as normal. but what you don't know, what you aren't able to confirm from what people are seeing, is what scares you: what if he's dragging himself out of bed, exhausted because he didn't sleep? what if he's skipping meals? what if he's going on missions, secretly hoping that something goes wrong?

"yeah, but he barely talks to anyone. i mean, i know he doesn't care for small talk, or whatever, but... somethings wrong. i can feel it."

your stomach churns, making the turn onto his street. for a while, you sit in the driveway, trying to see into the windows. maybe he's asleep. maybe he's perfectly fine. but most of that is just hope.

"what if he doesn't let me in?"

literally, because theres always a chance he's asleep and doesn't answer his door- though he's always been a light sleeper since going pro. but theres also the chance that he lets you inside his home but not into the walls he's built around him this past month.

"he will. he has to. he loves you." eijirou's voice feels like refuge, even over the phone.

you take a deep breath, hands clutching the sweater your wearing. its his, and you almost feel a little bad that you've taken it from him. does he have other things keeping warm? he has other sweaters, or blankets, hot showers and even his own explosions, but is he still feeling cold? alone?

eijirou drones on a little more. he's not the one sitting in his abesent best-friends driveway, but like you, he's stalling. "what happened was... it was terrible. but no ones blaming katsuki for that."

"yeah. except katsuki probably is."

he's silent over the phone. you both knew it, but didn't want to say it.

"i'm going in."

the redhead nods, though you can't see him. "i'm here if you need me."

"alright, by eiji."

"bye, [y/n.]"

your heart is pounding, bracing yourself for whatever may happen. but part of you knows that whatever you're feeling, your boyfriend is probably feeling tenfold and alone. its why you need to do this.

tentatively, you raise your knuckles to the door, knocking.

theres silence for a moment. you hear some footsteps that pause just before the door, like he knows its you.

on the inside? he feels pathetic for trying to hide, hoping you'll go away. he knows you won't, you both know it.

"katsuki?" your voice is quiet, afraid of disturbing any ghosts. "c'mon, i know you're in there."

he tenses. he wants to make up an excuse, tell himself that he's fine, that he doesn't have the time, that leaving everyone behind suddenly isn't a sign that something is wrong. but he's a liar and a bad one.

"go away."

he winces to himself, knowing he sounds like a child. but truthfully, its what he wishes he were, right now. a child who didn't have to feel the weight of failure pressing down on his ribs.

"i'm not going away until you let me inside." you say, firmly. "please."

its the first time you're hearing his voice in weeks, and its enough to bring you to your knees. he's been doing this for a month, but you wonder if he's felt lonely or scared or confused for longer than that.

"...i don't want you to see me like this."

you fight back tears. "maybe i do. maybe i wanna see you."

he's leaning his forehead against the door, knowing it's gone on too long. he knows he can't keep this up forever, and that at one point, you'd come to his front door. he expected more anger, anger for being a shitty neglectful boyfriend that never opens up about his feelings.

but he doesn't hear any anger in your voice, at all. and that makes him feel worse.

"please." you plead again, ringing the doorbell, hoping it'll annoy him enough to open the door. you'd rather have him pissed off, annoyed or angry than have none of him at all.

he shakes hid head, hand on the doorknob. its already unlocked.

"you're fucking stubborn, aren't you?" a sentence that comes out with something like a laugh. your chest tightens, worried he's about to tell you off. for a minute in the silence, it seems like it.

but then he opens the door, letting you see him.

you want to run towards him, feeling his strong arms wrap around you, pulling you into his home and back into his life. but the fear of him rejecting that holds you back as he lets you inside, closing the door behind you.

you first note how dark it is. obviously, because its near midnight. but he's never been one to go without at least a window open, to let some moonlight in. he can't stand artificial light, anyway. he's always bitched that it messes up his sleep.

"you mind if i open some curtains?" you ask him, softly gaging his reactions.

he scoffs quietly, but reels in his attitude- most of it, anyway. "i don't care, do whatever."

you ignore his spite, walking over to the living room window and drawing the fabric. it's a perfectly clear night, a sky so full of stars you could swim in it. its something so beautiful, something he hasn't let himself experience in weeks.

you presence in his home is felt like that of a ghost. you take more time to look at his surroundings. you can hear his voice before this: "i like shit clean. and you're bad at that."

but now, he doesn't seem to care. theres dirty mugs and unwashed laundry. you're not saying anything, but he's expecting it. he's expecting you to call out his hypocrisy, or just how shitty he's let his place become. the thought makes his anxiety skyrocket, and following that, shame.

but instead, he watches as you collect a few of the cups and rinse them off in the sink. somehow, that makes him feel worse. what the hell did he do to deserve that?

"what are you doing?" he asks. you notice one of the mugs he got as a gag gift for his 20th birthday, though he took it seriously. a world's greatest hero mug, now dusty and forgotten.

"don't worry about it." you say, turning back to face him.

neither of you know where to start. he's hoped that if he stayed alone, drowning in his own depression, he wouldn't have to watch when you inevitably leave him.

"you know it's been a month?" you gently approach him. he's not moving away from your presence, which should be a good sign.

"i know." he says fast, cold. you know his tell that he's angry- short replies, pissed off red eyes and distance. he's not even mad at you, though. just himself.

"eijirou called, said he was worried. we all were, i mean."

his eyes dart up to meet your for a brief moment. the mention of him makes his chest tighten up more, knowing you're not the only person he's disappointed. he feels like a true, honest coward. he's not getting along with anyone. maybe he's the problem.

his silence makes you panic, wondering if he's listening. "i wanted to give you space. you're my boyfriend, i care and i-i didn't wanna push you."

he nods, arms crossed, looking at the floor.

"i'm just sorry it took me so long to get here."

his eyes meet yours again, this time holding your gaze. he wants to cup your face and tell you that you have nothing to apologize for. that he's hard to approach and hard to love, even though he knows you'd disagree with that. but the words get caught in his throat, and filtered by unresolved anger.

"yeah, well... you're here now, aren't you?"

you just nod, grateful that you're both, at least, talking. thats more than anything else in the past month.

you think back to the articles of what happened. how two young parents with kids even younger were tragically injured during a bank robbery. how pro-hero dynamight successfully captured the criminals but couldn't prevent what happened to the innocent.

whats worse is how neatly packaged and sanitized it became. "a physical altercation." "an unforeseen criminal event." "and unfortunate and untimely demise." he hated the way they tried to save his name, to not pin any blame him or his failures. he was blaming himself. why wasn't anyone else?

"you know no one blames you for what happened, right?"

because no one does. but for katsuki, thats the worst part. he should have bee faster, better. if he had been seconds earlier, maybe they could have gotten to the hospital faster. maybe he could have prevented it, all of it. if he was just a few seconds faster.

but he wasn't, and it'll haunt him forever. "they should be blaming me." he says solemnly.

you shake your head, stepping closer to him, hands itching to reach out. you want to take his blame and guilt away, even just for a moment. you wanna be able to touch him again. you wanna feel your boyfriend and everything he is.

theres tears in his red eyes as he recounts everything, breaking down. he once swore to himself he'd never cry in front of you, or anyone. now, he's starting to see that you're the only person he could cry around.

"how many people are grieving because i fucked up?" his voice raises slightly, but you hear through it.

"they know you tried."

"yeah well, not hard enough!"

he takes a deep breath, the thing he always tells you to do when you sprial. he lets the air sit in his lungs before finally pulling you into his arms, pressing a kiss to your head as he holds you. he's tired of being alone.

"has it really been a month?" he asks, quietly.

you just nod into his chest, speechless. he's letting you in again, letting you touch him, feel him. its the closest you've been in what feels like decades.

you pull away just a little, hands cupping his face, looking into his teary eyes. its the first time in a while he's let himself cry, feel. and it makes his chest ache. his bones are exhausted from pushing down his feelings, of saying that he's fine, that he deserves the exile he's placed upon himself the past month.

"i'm sorry i'm shitty a boyfriend." he sobs. "and a shitty person. you deseve so much fucking better, they all did."

you shake your head, hushing him compassionately, wiping his tears. "i don't want better. i want you." he pulls you in tighter, and for a moment, time stops, the way he's wanted it to for the past few hours.

✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.*

2 am.

you both sit on the living room floor, backs against the couch. you're pressed against him, holding his hand while he rests it against your thigh, his thumb gently stroking over your skin. he's been exhausted as of late, but he doesn't want to close his eyes and miss this moment with you.

but when he looks over at you, your head on his shoulder, he feels more and more that he's allowed to let his guard down. you're still very much awake, but it's the first night in a while you can sleep without aimlessly worrying about him.

"you know idiot, for what its worth, i haven't been completely alone." he says looking over at you.

your eyes perk up. if there was anyone else who made sure he wasn't suffering in silence, its someone you wanted to know. "really? who?"

he pauses for a moment, like he's recalling a conversation in his head. one thats been buried by guilt and anxiety for the past month. but with you, he's letting himself admit things.

"...i spoke with a member of the victims family. she was the sister to the mother of the family. she was at the hospital the day it happened."

his answer took you off guard. in your head, he boarded himself up in his house, isolated and alone. you're not completely wrong, but you do feel a pang of guilt for not thinking better of him.

"how did that go?" you push gently.

"i expected them to be angry. to blame me for it. hell, i blame me." he starts, reminiscing the event. "but she was kinder than i deserved. said she didn't blame me."

you can tell he doesn't believe her words, or anyone's. that he still replays it in his head, living the guilt, the guilt that he survived and others didn't, eating at him.

"she sounds really sweet." you squeeze his hand.

he nods. "yeah, she was."

"you know," you start, trying to give his mind a brief holiday from the turmoil. "if everyone is saying it, it kind of has to be true."

his lips twitch into a reluctant smile. "whatever, idiot."

you sit up, facing him as you piece together your next words. he pulls your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles, wanting to hear your voice. right now, its the only thing keeping him afloat.

"the hardest part about this job is that you can't save everyone. you can't change that."

what you say isn't new, its a reminder. that no matter how many things he blows up, how many villains he handles and how many times he climbs to the top, he'll have to endure the pain of loss. he's seen it in every teacher and every hero who came before him, and all the up and coming heroes who still have lessons to learn. and deep down, he knows that its no reason give up. he's determined to be the best, to be everything he said he'd be.

he nods, hearing the truth in your words, knowing that he'll need to make peace with it. he has no witty remarks or curses to add. just a drive to do better.

"but knowing you? you'll probably still try."

he brings his face to yours and then your lips to his, kissing you. his hand comes up to your cheek as he lingers for a few moments before pulling away.

"of course i will."

[honeyhonest]

Trein and Vargas fucker here.

Ok, I'm also the one from the ghost nsfw fanfic (still in progress) and I've sent a lot of Crowley and Fellow asks. Considering the amount of stuff I've sent you I guess I'll sign my asks now.

Anyway, I have one request for now.

So, if reader was mad at Crowley to the point that they ignores him or locks themself in their room to avoid seeing him, what would he do to get their forgiveness back?

-Neo

YAYAYAYA HI TREIN ANON! I liked writing this I love this silly fuck

warnings: afab reader, barely any nsfw but there's cunnilingus right at the end

Does the punishment fit the crime? That is to say, what did he do now? Knowing the old crow, it was probably something annoying and insensitive (ignore your requests for more ramshackle repairs? avoid you all week? dump a new problem on you to fix? all three?) and deserved. Nonetheless, the moment he figures out that something is amiss, he's wounded. "What did I do wrong???" he whines, standing outside your door and knocking for hours (he at least has the decency not to pick the lock, or magic himself in) but it gets to the point where even Grim is begging you to open the door and put him out of his misery. The next day, you walk right past him on campus, and he looks so sad that even the self-absorbed students stop and stare at the pathetic display. A disgruntled Crewel comes to his office that afternoon with a message from you, which only worsens things (how humiliating is it that he must speak with you through Crewel? who, to make matters worse, takes your side!) and it's only about the dorm He goes through the five stages of grief outside your door Denial: "You're not really mad, you're only having a long week!" Anger: "I am your Headmage and you will answer me at once!" Bargaining: "Please... Prefect, if you answer me, I'll get you anything you want! I'll repair the leak in the attic, I'll personally tutor you, I'll get Grim all the tuna his little direbeast stomach could hold!" Depression: "You are killing me, did you know that?" Acceptance: "Very well... I'll be back tomorrow, my dear," By day three, he's made it everyone's problem. He won't do any work. He calls a staff meeting and then bursts into wails when Crewel asks if he's apologized to you yet. He calls an assembly and just talks nonsense for almost two hours. Leona actually considers just killing him to put him out of his misery Finally, when he can't take it anymore (it's been three and a half days) he says sorry for every single thing he's ever done to you. Putting you in Ramshackle, making you deal with the students, not looking for your home as much as he really should be, every single overblot and accident, each scratch that could have been caused by him, and- Grim throws open the door and tells both of you to just SHUT UP ABOUT EACH OTHER ALREADY! Whatever sick marital issues you're having, he doesn't want to hear another WORD OF IT! Crowley doesn't leave your side for days. Fussing over you, complimenting you, offering to do everything for you. It doesn't last forever, but at least he's. trying...? He insists on eating you out every night, which is something he doesn't often do (it's hard with the mask), and he's not half-bad at it, either (better than he is at sex, though that's not a high bar). That mouth can do more than talk about stupid shit is all I'm saying. He gets really into it, talons digging into your thighs, face truly buried between them, the beak of his mask pressing into your stomach, pushed up ever so slightly from the angle of it all... He humbly refuses to let you touch him, saying that pleasing you is enough... and then twenty minutes later he gives up the noble facade and asks to cum inside because he's hard and it huuurts </3

[snoopledrooplecheesedoodle]

Ideas to feed the kiddos before I disappear to cry (Yandere NightClub)

I live in a state of depression so deep that a YouTube short is the only reason I've popped back in to bless you with a concept. I hope to finish my Greek mythology oneshot but we'll see.

Also, ya'll loneliness is scary so stay safe and know that cheese cares how you're doing. That's right I'm actively promoting a parasocial relationship between me and my readers (jokes (unless-))

Genders not final okay so don't be shy to ask for another gender than the one I use

Imagine for me (this can apply for any of my fandoms as well):

You my cute little MC are a bartender at one of the sketchiest clubs. Either you are a complete airhead, no one else would hire you (criminal record), or you getting that big bag (your boss spoils you).

Because of this you have seen the poisonous underbelly of the city you live in because this club only seems to attract the worst people (yanderes). Under the influence of alcohol these people tell you all their deepest darkest secrets (you need therapy more than ever). Gods forbid you even think about being nice to them or giving them advice. Kidnapping didn't go well. Maybe you should go on a date (like a normal person). Or you could just drug them (that was sarcasm on your part).

Now you've got repeat yandere clientele asking you to help them with their darlings believing you to be some expert in the field (you'll say anything for the money or you just stupid stupid).

Some of these people might just be looking for a way to kidna-court you. These questions about your exact height and weight are very invasive.

Beware to these clients because your boss and coworkers won't let these "customers" have you that easily (all are trained killers).

Rich flirty childish boss who wants to give you the world just stop calling him "kid" he's/she's/they're five years older than you (bad case of the baby face). Wants to wrap you in his/her/their fluffy pink coat and take you home (to his/her/their cozy luxury condo). Honestly kinda want to either write an absolute boss babe or twink if I'm making an oc of this person.

Fellow bartender who is the most normal of the bunch. Pretty tall and bulky but a total sweetheart who gives you the best advice (keeps people from giving you spiked drinks). Constantly offers you rides home; they can't have you walking by yourself people want to snatch you up (them too). Probably the most normal to get into a relationship with and won't do too much against your will (unless you get hurt). Himbo vibes (genderless)

Bouncer of the club is intimidating and bulky and also very shy. Wants desperately to talk to you and tell you how he/she/ they feel but oops they just put the fear of a thousand gods into you. Thinks you're absolutely precious and wants nothing more than to take you away from all this (wants a cozy home with as many animals as possible (you'll have to stop this person from adopting all the animals in the city))

Stripper/consort who is very down to earth and flirtatious at the same time. They are a whore but know when to tone it down (consent is sexy). They get all touchy and apologize claiming it's just second nature to them. Always offers a free lap dance or something else if you're up for it ;).

And anyone else you can think of please don't be afraid to ask.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?

Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.

In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.

The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.

But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.

I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.

One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.

Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.

I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.

I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.

Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

[leighsartworks216]

Not my fandom, but #15 for Zayne?

Intrusion

Zayne x gn!Reader

Prompt from this list

15 - hugging each other

I didn't intend to actually write these tonight bc I have a lot of downtime in the morning and I Need Sleep, buuuuut this one hit different idk

Warnings: hurt/comfort, caretaking, pre or early relationship, depression, food, hugging, crying

Word Count: 857

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First Love and Deepspace Masterlist

Second Love and Deepspace Masterlist

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Zayne knocks on the door lightly. It's late. Far later than is normal to be visiting. He'd hate to wake up one of the neighbors and give them a bad impression of you, especially right now.

You'd been practically radio silent all day. He's so accustomed to you sending him emojis and random videos, to have absolutely nothing come in was disconcerting. On top of that, when he messaged you asking if you were okay, it took several hours before you responded.

I'm fine. Just tired, sorry.

Did you stay up late last night?

Yeah, I guess.

Are you feeling well?

Don't worry about me, Zayne. I'm perfectly fine :)

Each insistence only stirred that uncertainty in his gut. You may not want to inconvenience him, but he needs your intrusion on his life. Otherwise, it would be the same, day to day. A cold, dark existence, with a sweet treat the only thing to draw him away from the mundanity.

He knocks again, slightly louder.

The door opens a crack. Your face is obscured in shadow, hidden from the dim light of the hallway, but from what he can tell, you look rough. You don't meet his eyes. You just stare at his tie.

"H-Hey," you draw out, trying to act casual. Maybe he'd believe the act if you weren't hiding. "What brings you here, doc?"

He inhales. Why must you keep insisting on putting barriers between you? "I'm not on duty, at the moment," he reminds you curtly, but his tone softens as he continues. "I wanted to make sure you ate something today, so I got takeout from a restaurant on my list."

You stare at the plastic bag of takeout he holds. He can see the gears turning. The hesitation as you realize the amount of food he's gotten. "Zayne, I-I can't possibly eat that much."

"I ordered some for myself. I haven't had a chance to eat dinner yet." He nods his head slightly toward the door. "May I come in?"

He watches with bated breath as you debate your options. He can see the way your eyes flicker from the bag to him, like you're weighing the pros and cons. You get food, but you have to let him in. From the faint growl of your stomach, it would seem that the choice is made for you.

You slowly open the door.

The apartment is dark, which isn't surprising. Still, Zayne navigates it with no issues. He toes off his shoes and replaces them with the guest house slippers with familiarity. You trail behind as he heads for the kitchen. He adjusts the lights to be set to a dim glow, allowing for enough light that he can see what he's doing without being too harsh on your eyes. Though, now that he can see, he can see the heavy bags under your red-raw eyes.

"Did I wake you?" He keeps his voice purposefully low.

You stand by the doorway, arms crossed, as you watch him bustle about. He retrieves two plates from the cabinet and divides the containers from the bag into what's his and what's yours. As he does so, he removes the lid from one of the containers and slides it over to you. The warm aroma of soup fills the room.

You shake your head. He watches from the corner of his eye as you sidle over, slippers scraping quietly against the tile floor. When you pick up the cup of soup, it feels like a brick has been removed from the wall.

He transfers food to the plates. A healthy serving, to be sure. He tries to keep the amounts relatively similar, but it's clear he's added slightly more to your plate than his own. Once they're ready, he sets your plate in front of your seat - designated as such from the times he's come over in the past - and his plate in front of his seat. Before he sits, he reaches up into the cabinets once again to retrieve some glasses.

Arms wrap around him from behind, nearly startling him into dropping the cups. Your head rests against his back. Your hands hold onto each other, as though resting them against him would be the thing to make him pull away.

"Thank you..." you mumble, only just loud enough for him to make out.

He moves like he's trying not to startle a wild animal as he lowers two glasses to the countertop. He sets a hand on your arm, to keep you from letting go, as he turns in your embrace. His arms wrap themselves over your shoulders, around your back, hands flat against you to draw you into his chest. Your hold tightens around him. Your hands fist his work shirt. Your head is tucked securely under his chin.

He says nothing of the way you shudder as your breath catches in your lungs. Nor does he say anything as he feels a wet spot form in his collar.

Instead, he rubs your back in soothing motions. "Please tell me the next time you're hurting," he pleas in a whisper. "Don't shut me out."

---

I'm gonna put my little end note here that I had on AO3 cuz I still feel like gloating:

"I feel the need to gloat about the title because it goes both ways!!! Zayne needs your intrusion on his life because otherwise he'd be no better than Dawnbreaker, but you also need his intrusion on your life to help you through whatever's bringing you down!!! Very proud of this"

---

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[eliciria]

Hello how are you doing??

Can I request luka x reader from alien stage comfort?? I am craving one after watching wiege whatever it’s reader comforting him or the opposite); (doesn’t have to be after wiege either can be anything)

a/n : thanks for requesting !! also of course heh. I actually don't know how to write comfort (after 2 years of solely writing angst...) so I'm sorry in advance LMFAO

warnings /content : comfort/fluff, contains mentions of violence, swearing, slightly yandere esque, sligghtlyyy suggestive

whisper to the trees (ask box) ... : open! feel free to request more alien stage, or any of the fandoms that are listen in my master list ^^

Backstage

luka x reader (comfort)

Today wasn't your day, and Luka could see that. Having been...well, not exactly the best person for his life in terms of empathy or sympathy, he gauges his competitors' emotions and laughs at the slightest hint of despair.

So when he sees the same expression that he usually delighted in when face to face against his 'rivals' on stage, now on you, he wasn't exactly sure on what to do.

You were sitting in the make up room, after another nameless PR stunt for the aliens. Something about this day in particular felt draining. Could it have been the burn out, perhaps? Or maybe something else? You weren't sure, but you felt like shit.

Luka was 'busy' reading his schedule(given to him by his alien secretary), but after hearing what felt like the millionth sigh from you, did he finally take action. He takes the space next to you, and immediately, you began to speak.

"Sorry. I disturbed what little bit of personal time you have left-"

"Is something going on?" He bluntly said, eyes staring straight into you. You paused. His words were outright, and his blank expression yet slightly gentle tone caught you off guard.

"No, not really... Just a bad day, I suppose."

He hummed, seemingly not believing it, but he nodded either way. He leaned back on the couch, eyes fluttering closed and his fingers holding the tips of your hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

You remain silent, and this time, he is the one that sighs. But not from sadness, no.

From exasperation.

"You don't need to tell me right away if that's what's keeping you from talking. I don't know what happens to you 24/7, but you don't need to pretend. We're not on screen, no one to see." His voice slightly shook as he continued. "So, just let it out. Even if you think I'll laugh. Even if you think it's stupid to."

"...I don't know. Today just feels worse than all the other days."

"Mmm...thats okay to feel. I've had days where I wanted to just run away."

"But you didn't."

"Because you're here."

"You can't be serious."

"Try me." He smiled. "It's true, though. I would've left this god forsaken place already if it weren't for you staying here. I wouldn't last that long out as a rogue, though."

You cracked a half hearted smile. "I don't exactly believe you, of all the humans, to abandon your survival over me."

He blinked yet again. His words took a soft but serious tone.

" I'm genuine about that. What, you really think I'm all bark no bite?" He smiles, pinching your cheek, though it wasn't painful. "I'd abandon all of the achievements I have and all of the privileges I forced myself to achieve for you. I mean, it wasn't my desire to be this way. It was my guardian's. What I really want is just you. You could beat me up, do anything you want, as long as you even acknowledge me."

"You're weird Luka."

"Whatever keeps you not being so depressed on me. Though I suppose I've failed in that aspect." Sighing, he tilts his head. "You don't need to be perfect all the time, you know. I see the way you try. And it's painful. Painful for me to watch you fight back tears and let out a fake smile; the same one I use. I prefer to see you genuine, even if that means all I see is your snot filled face. I'll still love you either way."

When you heard his last sentence, it cracked open a dam in you.

Something salty and wet dripped from your face, and before you realized it, you were crying. His words were cliche, standard, downright creepy, even, but he looked genuinely concerned at your demeanour. His hands twitched, expression contorting to one of acceptance and affection as you suddenly embraced him. It was warm but weirdly cold (mostly because he was just cold all the time). His hand wiped your tears, the other lightly rubbing your back. Hums left his mouth as each stray tear that left your eye was wiped away.

" Must be a really bad day, huh?...You'll be okay. Whatever you're crying about, I think it'll just pass."

His usual masked face he used, now discarded into a more vulnerable state. Now, it was a comforting, almost sweetly warm Luka. No longer was his on-stage persona, and the only thing that remains is the essence of emotion that even his guardian couldn't remove from him. Being human.

[creepswrites]

i've been dealing w/ a lot lately and wanted to write something nice so. enjoy.

SLASHERS w/ A GN! S/O WHO IS DEALING WITH DEPRESSION & ANXIETY

MICHAEL MYERS

"I just don't feel like doing anything..."

Michael gives you space if you ask for it but will still stand and watch you from the corner of the room

He's not the most outwardly affectionate person but you can tell he's worried when he comes over to squeeze your wrist once or twice

And you can tell he's worried sick when he points at the television as an invitation to watch a movie with him

He'll let you cuddle against him and he plays with your hands or hair and actually does hold you back

(It's not that he's NOT affectionate, just not usually like this)

The two of you can spend all day watching silly tv shows and movies to make you laugh

Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.

LESLIE VERNON

"Oh my god, Leslie, I think I'm having a panic attack."

Your hands are shaking so bad, you're sweating cold, and your vision is starting to get spotty as he hurries over to catch you

He rocks you through it, sits you down on the floor, and keeps you close to his chest while running his fingers down your arm or through you hair

Leslie's voice is soft and grounding as he tries to talk you back down

When you're finally able to breath again, you break down into such guttural sobs that he just holds you and rocks you gently

He lets you stay over at his house, you two get your favorite for dinner, and he reminds you that if you ever need to talk, he's there

After watching a movie, you talk to him about it. About how everything feels so overwhelming, how you feel helpless and out of control, and how you feel alone. He listens, really listens. And right now, that's all you really need: to just talk it out with someone

Even the darkest hour only has 60 minutes.

STU MACHER & BILLY LOOMIS

"I feel like everything is going wrong."

Stu happily listens to you vent about your problems and tries to drag you out on walks or to see movies or something

Definitely the type of guy to take you to amusement parks to give you constant dopamine hits

Billy, in contrast, will give you solutions to your problems and gives you space

He's not the most emotional guy so he tries to give you space to sort out your thoughts

So you've got a good balance!

Whenever they catch you starting to spiral again, Stu will go grab you a drink or a blanket while Billy tries to talk you down, reminding you that your problems are temporary and you will be okay

You've survived everything up till this point. You will continue to survive.

VINCENT SINCLAIR

"Do you hate me?"

Honestly, Vincent is surprised you could even think that!

But he understands how your mind works at this point so he takes you aside and opens the floor for you to talk

Everything just spills out. Small things he may have done on accident that just began to pile up, larger things that have just added to weighing you down, everything

Anyone else would think you were blaming him for your problems but he didn't see it that way. He saw you finally cracking and asking for his help to fix things

He can't magically solve everything for you but he supports you, showers you in hugs and kisses, and starts talking to Bo about maybe driving you out of Ambrose every so often to see someone about your mental health

You're grateful for his help. Everything feels so much less overwhelming when you have someone to hold hands with while you try to get help

Small, baby steps each day add up to huge, giant leaps over time. Don't give up.

LESTER SINCLAIR

"I think everyone hates me."

Lester's head snaps around and catches you staring down at your phone with wet, sorrowful eyes

You break down when he hugs you, spilling everything about a fight with your friends that left you scared. Not sad - scared

That's what sets off alarm bells in his head. He puts your phone aside and listens to you talk, vent, cry, anything you need

You're afraid. Afraid of what your friends said, worried about what they might tell others, and a petrifying anxiety that you'll end up alone

But Lester reminds you if they do that, then they were never really your friends to begin with

He peppers your face in kisses and reminds you that, no matter what, he will always love and care for you. Even if the whole world was against you, you'd always have him Jonesy comes and sits in your lap, licking your face and hands as she tries to smother you in her love as well!

Don’t dwell on those who hold you down. Instead, cherish those who helped you up.

[dyingswanpavlova]

@ Anyone reading, liking and commenting on my Salesman series

I said this a few times already, but I didn't make a post on it yet and right now I really feel like doing that. I'll be completely honest, I've been having (and still am having) a pretty rough time lately. I was always kind of melancholic, but a few years ago I was lively and got my life done somehow. But then I got really depressed and ever since that, I feel like I lost myself in the process. I'm not just saying that as a phrase, I mean it when I say; I lost who I once was. I got anxiety so bad, on some days I can't even order my food on my own. My life somehow deteriorated. I used to write a lot, when I was a teen, like really much. But these last few months and years weighed hard on me. And then, like maybe two weeks ago, I had this random idea with the reader getting attacked and the Salesman saving her and I thought, well, why not?

I cannot begin to describe what the sheer amount of love and positivity I have received ever since has done to me. I feel like I'm slowly learning how to piece myself back together, after living in my head for so long. Everyone, and I mean this, Every. Single. One of you is responsible for this and I will forever be grateful for every kind word, every comment, every like, every message and every smile you gifted me and still are. This whole series means a lot to me, because I feel like it's my comeback from death. I've grown to love the characters and I love bringing them to life in a way that heals trauma, as well as to maybe cause some on the way (It's still fictional and he is a twisted motherfucker, after all🤫), but what means far more to me are you, guys. Every single one of you. I can unabashedly and without any shame tell you that I really, really love you. Thank you. 🤍

(And no, it's not finished yet, before anyone panics, I'm currently working on Chapter 10!!!)

[gddancefloor]

A Kasane Teto and Hatsune Miku original song by SoYaSuYa (me)!

ᯓ★ DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE A FOOL

WHEN YOU SEEK MADE UP TRUTH?

THIS IS THE GAME OF LIFE,

THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!

════════════════════════════

HEY GAMERZZZ (yes, that was on purpose), decided to work on a little concept I discarded about a year ago and gave it a little fresh coat of paint! I also reworked the song it's related to! Still working on it, but this is what we've got! Everything is all mine, both legally and artistically. It all took about 10 days in total!

Lyrics and more info about the project below the cut! (Definitely check it out please!)

════════════════════════════

LYRICS

[VERSE]

Gamble to see what it means to be a living human Roll the dice, shake it twice, so boldly betting your life Where's the fun when you can predict the game? It all ends the same, deny that and you'll go insane

Looking for a cheap way out? Why don't you cheat your way out? You've got only one life left n' you won't have to play the rest Where's the fun when it's just to endure the pain? Get it through your brain, why stay a pawn living in vain?

[PRE CHORUS]

Hey, tell me if anything truly matters! You choose to live only just to die, that's the game of life So, don't blame me if that false hope shatters, It's your life, your problem, not mine if you choose to live a lie

It's starting to make sense to you, now isn't that right? We're all meaningless creatures with a drive to survive and die So, buckle up and get ready to enjoy this ride Of the meaningless desire for the meaning of life!

[CHORUS]

Oh, doesn't it hurt to lose No matter what you try to do (oh, doesn't it hurt) Don't you feel like a fool When you seek made-up truth (oh, it's all made up)

There's no target to beat Other than to accept defeat (oh, nothing to beat) So, please explain to me What else is there to believe? (and that's all how...)

This is the game of life, there's no doubt about it! (no doubt about that!) Live to see nothing matters, reality's a real lie (such a lie!) Philosophy's a joke, does it look like we're laughing? Keep on searching, gaming, playing for meaning in this stupid life!

════════════════════════════

So, this song is pretty old. I made the original concept in 2022 when it was called "BAD LUCK" and had an entirely different meaning behind it. But, I revived it in 2024 and because I was facing a very horrible time due to an existential crisis, I wanted to write a song about my feelings towards life in general. That isn't the song's only meaning, but a pretty good generalization as to why I wrote it in the first place.

These are the original designs from 2024. I never had a color palette in mind when I made them, I just knew I wanted them to be bright as fuck and match. Soooo basically the new designs required me to come up with one off of the top of my head, but to also somewhat rework them. I think even the new ones might undergo some changes in the final release. I dunno. I'm a picky guy.

I had to learn a lot about audio engineering (in NO way am I a professional, hell nah) and Vocaloid 5 (I've been using V4 since 2021 so this is a very big change for me) to make this song, and even then I do have things I still wanna tweak about it. But so far so good! I love the way it sounds and I hope you do too!

My goal was to make them appear a little disturbing considering the topics of this song. I wanted them to look "so depressed they're insane", to an extent. "What about the bright colors?" I'll let you theorize about that :)

Also, I've never drawn vinyl before so it might look a little odd as I get used to drawing it 💔

I will post their individual concept drawings when I can, as there's some shit I need to do with them and I just can't really do it right now.

I hope you absolutely LOVED this and if you did, please reblog this to support my art. I would also greatly appreciate fan art! Just remember to tag me.

I'll likely get the finished song on YouTube and niconico soon but not Spotify considering the horrible shit they're involved with, nor SoundCloud. They're both evil "generator" (iykyk) supporting, art stealing corporations. Soooo yeah. At least with YT you can opt out. Same here on Tumblr. I would do Bandcamp but I don't want ppl to feel obligated to buy my music since I don't really want money for something that comes from my soul.

Anyways, have a great day and God bless ya 💕

(also secret for people who bothered to read til the end: yes theres yuri)

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Indefinite hiatus

I was toying with writing up a long post about what running this blog has meant to me over the years and why I'm stepping away for the foreseeable future, but that feels too dramatic for what's really just me saying "I'm not going to be on tumblr for at least the rest of the year". So, I'll just say I'm not going to be on tumblr for at least the rest of the year.

Okay, actually I have a bunch more to say, but it'll be under the cut.

Politics sucks. And paying attention to it, even in the reduced way I've been paying attention to it over the last few years, is hard. You end up spending so much of your supposedly free time thinking about things you can't change, getting mad about things you can't change, and getting depressed when the people who can change things just keep going in the wrong direction. Even when good things happen, it's just a matter of a few days before something bad happens once again. And vice versa. It's an endless cycle of hope, despair, resignation. Rinse and repeat, and triple speed that cycle during an election year. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of spending every other year worried about what's going to happen on one day in November. I'm tired of hearing a piece of news and automatically composing a post about it or running through 20 different responses I might give to asks I might get about it in my head.

Everyone I know who doesn't pay attention to politics (or at least doesn't run a social media page dedicated to it) seems to enjoy their live a lot more than I currently do. Which sounds way more dramatic than what's actually going on, which is mainly that I want to get to a place where I just don't care. I want the world and its problems to flow off my back instead of weighing it down. I want to stop thinking about what people on the internet might say about something I haven't even posted yet. And that can't happen while I'm tied to this blog. So I'll be staying away from it for at least the rest of the year.

I did have a good time with this blog. I've met a bunch of really awesome people, some who are sadly no longer with us (RIP Blue), and some who I think will carry on the "fight" way better than I ever did. This isn't an admission of defeat, or pessimism about the election. Even if Trump wins, and I truly think he will if we have a fair election, I still won't be back this year. But I'll still vote and I'll still be proud that my silly little tumblr blog had an impact on some people's lives. I may not have the reach of a Tucker Carlson or a Glenn Beck, but I've gotten a lot of messages from people who said they changed their minds about an issue, or even politics in general, because of things I said, and that counts for something. If you guys take anything away from me, I want it to be this: Even the smallest impact matters. It doesn't matter if you only ever reach one person and then stop, reaching that one person is enough. Changing one vote is enough. Changing one mind is enough.

To all my mutuals, you guys are the best. I truly hope you have wonderful lives and I'm sad I won't get to see your names on my dash everyday anymore. To anyone I've ever followed or reblogged from, I couldn't have had a blog without you, so thank you. Yes, even the leftiod psychos, XD. To everyone else, find your own balance and never give into despair and never listen to people who tell you not to try. Even a failed effort is still more meaningful than sitting back and mocking people for trying to improve even the smallest thing about themselves or the world around them.

I won't be logging back in after I post this, so any messages or asks you send, I won't see. I'll still be active (or as active as I ever am) in my discord, so feel free to join there if you want to. It should still be my pinned post, but if it isn't, I'll edit this with a new invite link.

And that's all I've got to say for now.

[allieslittlewritings]

*not my gif <3

Care

Summary: Spencer takes care of his daughter when she's depressed and can't do it herself

Warnings: Depression, self-deprecation, bad writing, swearing, reader struggles to take care of herself

Word Count: ~ 1.4k

Spencer's apartment was dark when he entered.

Quiet, too.

He flicked a light on and looked around.

Not a single thing was different than when he'd left 3 days ago.

The book he left on the couch was in the exact same place, his mug still stood on the coffee table.

He called your name into the apartment, not getting an answer.

He quickly dropped his satchel by his coat stand and went to your room.

The door was open, your room was just as dark as the rest of the apartment.

He saw you lying in bed and whispered your name.

When you didn't answer he got even more worried.

He stepped into your room, only now noticing how messy it had seemingly gotten.

Sitting down on the edge of your bed he reached over to your nightstand and turned your lamp on.

Your eyes blinked open and struggled to not close again because of the light.

You looked up at your dad and tiredly blinked.

"Hi," He said.

He had that specific tone of voice he used when he was worried about you, you could tell.

"What are you doing home? You said you wouldn't be back until Sunday."

Spencer's worry increased at that, "It is Sunday, sweetheart."

Your eyes widened, "What? No, it can't be."

"How long have you been in bed?" He knew it was difficult for you to get out of bed sometimes, but your depression hadn't been this bad in a long time.

You looked around your room, your brain was slow and tired.

It couldn't be Sunday.

You had an essay and homework to finish how were you going to get everything done if it was Sunday night already?

Spencer noticed your breathing getting more erratic.

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me, it's okay. You're okay. What is it you need help with?"

Tears of exhaustion and overwhelm formed in your eyes.

"I don't need help, I just have to stop being so fucking lazy." Your words came out harshly.

"You are not lazy," Spencer said. "You have lower energy levels because you're depressed and you haven't eaten in the last few days, not because you don't want to spend your energy on things."

You looked around at your messy room.

"I'll help you clean your room," You dad said, seeing what you were looking at. "But let's focus on you first. Do you think you feel okay enough to take a shower?"

You took a second to think before shaking your head.

Spencer nodded in understanding.

"That's okay." He thought for a second before standing up, "I'll be right back, okay?"

He exited your room and a few tears escaped your eyes.

"He just got back from a long case, he doesn't want to take care of you like you're a helpless child."

"His job is difficult enough, he doesn't deserve to come home and have more shit to do."

Spencer came back into your room about 3 minutes later, a pack of wet wipes in one hand and a cup with your toothbrush in it in the other.

He sat back down on your bed and moved your hair so it wasn't in your face anymore.

Your hair was dirty.

Spencer knew pointing that out wouldn't be helpful right now, it's not like you weren't aware.

With your hair tucked behind your ears and out of your face, Spencer removed a wipe from the bag and carefully started cleaning your face.

The hand he held under your chin was cold.

But the gentle way he treated you felt warm and healing.

He threw the wipe away in your little dustbin and then put toothpaste on your toothbrush for you.

He handed it to you and waited for you to take it.

You slowly brushed your teeth, using the cup he brought to spit the toothpaste out.

"I'm sorry." You whispered when you were done and he took your toothbrush from you.

"For what, sweetheart?" He placed the cup on your bedstand and your toothbrush on top of it.

"You just got back, you must be tired and I'm making you take care of me because I'm too pathetic to do it myself."

Self-deprecation was common in depressed people, Spencer knew that.

But it never hurt less to hear you insult yourself, to be reminded that you didn't see yourself the way he saw you.

"I'm not tired." He assured you.

He wasn't lying. Seeing your child depressed and exhausted wakes you up more than any slap in the face or ice cold water ever could.

"It's not your fault you can't take good care of yourself right now. And you're not making me do anything. I want to take care of you. I'm your dad, that's what I'm here for." He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"I'm gonna get you some clean clothes, okay?"

You nodded and just sat there as he walked to your closet.

A lot of your clothes were contributing to the mess on your floor but Spencer grabbed the most comfortable looking clothes he could find.

A hoodie and sweatpants and some fuzzy socks.

He also quickly snatched a hair tie from your desk.

Spencer placed the clothes on your bed in front of you. "Can you turn around for a second so I can tie your hair back, please?"

You did as he asked and he quickly tied your hair.

He ignored the urge to untangle your hair, you needed to eat first.

"I'm gonna go make you something to eat while you get dressed, you can take as much time as you need."

Your dad left your room, closing the door behind him.

Slowly and begrudgingly, you got up and managed to change into the clean clothes your dad picked out.

You took the cup from your bedstand and left your room, going to the bathroom to put your toothbrush back and use the toilet.

After finishing your things in the bathroom, you went to find your dad.

You found him in the kitchen, washing grapes.

"Okay, so I technically lied. I ordered pizza, I didn't make you something, I'm sorry."

Spencer felt bad when he realized he hadn't gone grocery shopping in a while.

But he figured there was also a higher likelihood that you'd actually want to eat pizza, rather than something he made.

"It's okay," You said quietly, moving to sit on the kitchen counter.

Spencer placed a bowl of grapes next to you and ate a few himself.

"Thank you," You said, picking up a grape and eating it.

Spencer smiled softly, happy to see you eat. "You're welcome, sweetheart."

The pizza got there shortly after.

You and Spencer sat on the couch and watchsd your favorite show, which Spencer put on.

You ate your pizza and watched your show, and drank a glass of water Spencer got you.

After you both finished eating, Spencer started helping you with your school things.

To your surprise, you actually got it done.

In retrospect it wasn't that much work, any bit of work sounded like a lot to you before.

Your eyes started to get droopy and it was getting late.

"You should get some rest, sweetheart."

You nodded in agreement.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed, just for tonight?"

He knew you probably hadn't gotten much actually restful sleep in the last few days.

And maybe it would be easier for you to sleep in a slightly different environment.

"Only if it won't bother you," You said, a sense of guilt washing over you.

"It won't." Spencer insisted gently.

"Okay."

Spencer went to put your plates in the kitchen and you went to his room.

You climbed into his bed and lay down.

You lay on the same side you always did when you were little and used to crawl into his bed when you had a nightmare, or just really missed him.

Spencer went to get ready for bed and then got into his bed next to you.

You were nearly asleep by then.

You moved closer to him and rested your hand and your head on his chest.

He protectively kept an arm around you as he read a few chapters of the latest book he was reading.

Your rhythmic and soft breathing let him know you were asleep and he quietly breathed a sigh of relief.

He eventually placed his book down and fell alseep, still keeping you close to him.

He would always keep you safe.

Not just from physical danger, from your depression and your thoughts, too.

fin. ♡

[profundcherrylady]

SINGLE DAD!SAE ITOSHI

A/N: CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! Yeah I know it's past New Years and technically mid January, I just took a looong time writing this, hope y'all like it tho.

Warnings: None I think. Just a little swearing.

Contents: Rin being a bad babysitter lol. VERY unrealistic btw there is no way none of this could be like an actual situation that could happen in real life. Very, very bad parenting because WHY would Sae let any of this happen tf.

Description: On a displeasing turn of events, Sae has to spend Christmas eve at work, in Spain. But that's not going to stop his daughter from making her Christmas wishes come true.

"...What do you mean, she's gone?" Sae's voice was starting to sound anxious, even on the other side of the phone. Missing? His daughter was missing on Christmas eve? How could this happen? If he was there, he would for sure give Rin something more than just a piece of his mind for losing his daughter.

"Exactly what you're hearing. She's not here." he explained, still looking around under tables and inside cabinets in case she was secretly playing hide and seek again. "I checked her bedroom, the bathroom, your room, the kitchen... it's like she disappeared on thin air."

"That's impossible. Why did you leave her alone in the apartment in the first place?"

"Because she is refusing to move from her room. Well, she was. Now I have no clue of where the hell she is! You know this is your fault, right?"

"Excuse me? Tell me how I'm at fault for you losing my daughter."

"She wouldn't stop asking about you; she was heartbroken when you told her you'd spend Christmas at Spain without her, saying she wanted to be with you and asking when you'd come back. She was so depressed she didn't even want to eat. I even bought her a bunch of presents but she said it'll not be the same without you here, and you know damn well that brat's spoiled. She wouldn't reject any gifts if she wasn't depressed, depressed."

"First of all, do not call her a spoiled brat." he responded. "Second, fine. Leave it at that and just focus on finding her, where could she have gone to? Somewhere that reminds her of me maybe? She must've left something behind, keep looking!"

"I'm looking, chill." he entered the little girl's bedroom once again. Just as he saw before, it was empty and quiet, no sight of her favorite bunny plushie either which meant she must have gone somewhere. She always took that thing everywhere. He peeked under the bed but there was nothing, then finally stood back up.

A paper.

Rin's eyes widened at the sight of a paper on the bed, and he quickly rushed to read it.

"Rin?" he hushed his brother on the other of the phone. The handwriting was messy and childish so it was definitely hers, and as he read line through line his eyes widened even more.

"Fuck."

"What? What is it? Did you find something?"

"So... you're not gonna like what you're going to hear. She left a note... it says she was heading to you."

"Me?" he repeated, absolutely on disbelief. "I'm in Spain."

"Yeah, she seems to know that." the younger Itoshi continued to read the note, this time out loud. "...'Dear uncle Rin, I miss papa, I don't wanba wait anymore...'? Guess she meant 'wanna'. Uh... 'Chridthsma I dunno how to spell it but you know what I mean. Too lonely! I wanna see papa, so I'll go suprise him. I wanna spend tomoreow with him. Thanks uncle Rin! Plz don't throw out my presents that you bought me. Bye-bye'. And that's it."

"WHAT? She can't come all the way to Spain just to see me."

"You bet she can't; she's under eighteen. Relax, she can't travel alone just like that; she won't go far. I'll just go to the airport."

"Okay... that's true, but she wouldn't give up that easily; I'm pretty sure she knows she can't go on a plane alone, so..." then the realization hit him. "The train."

"What?"

"The TRAIN. She'll take the train from Japan to Europe, then from Barcelona to where I'm at on Madrid."

"Sae be fucking for real. Do you seriously think a six-year-old planned all of that?"

"Believe me, she's capable. She's seen those trains before, and she would for sure be too scared to go to the airport."

"And where do you think she'd get the money to travel?"

"Her allowance."

"You give a six-year-old an allowance?"

"STOP asking questions and go to the train station for her!"

"Okay, relax, I'm heading out."

But unfortunately for Rin, little Mao was already on the train station ready to head out to a whole another continent just to see her father. She had packed well (she broght her stuffed bunny) and ate breakfast before heading out (cookies from the kitchen counter); she was even well dressed for the occasion (she put on her jacket).

She was at the train station now, waving hello to the person selling the train tickets.

"Can I go to Spain, please?" she asked excitedly.

"Well, hello. You're taking a trip with your parents? Where are they?"

"My papa is at Spain." the man let out an 'oh' after hearing that.

"On Christmas eve, whithout his family? Must be something important. I'm sorry, though, I can't sell you a ticket to another country without any parental supervision."

"But... I already got all the way here."

"Sorry, kid, it's against the rules. I mean, if you had another parent or someone that can go with you I'd gladly let you go to Spain and see your dad."

"My uncle already said no... that's why I walked here all by myself... in the snow..."

"Well, if he said no it must be for a reason. What about your mom?"

"She isn't alive anymore. My dad and my uncle are pretty much all I have."

"Oh..." now he was starting to feel bad about this poor kids and her sad puppy eyes.

"I just wanted to see my papa on Christmas eve... he said he'd send me presents but I just wanted a hug from him. That was my only Christmas wish... but I guess it won't come true... hopefully he won't miss new year's too... or my birthday... I don't wanna keep seeing him through a screen anymore..."

"Okay, okay, okay, fine." he gave up; this teary-eyed child was going to kill him from sadness. He couldn't just send her home all sad like that. "Fine... I'll make some calls, I'll get you a train ticket to Barcelona. But you have to follow my instructions, okay? Going to another country is a big deal."

"Really? Thank you, mister! Now my Christmas wish is gonna come true!" the man took the phone aside from him and started making calls to arrange everything.

"Just let me see your passport and we'll see what we can do."

"You missed her? Really?" Sae was exasperated at this point. He was confident that they wouldn't let a kid travel to another continent, but apparently they were more incompetent than he thought.

"Listen, I got here as fast as I could. It's Christmas eve and there's snow all over; traffic was horrible." Rin explained, looking over his shoulder where the person in charge was showing him the security footage where they let Mao buy a ticket and get on the train. "I asked and it seems like her train just left. She bought a ticket to Barcelona and she's now on her way to you, but don't worry too much, they told me they got someone from the staff to keep an eye on her."

"That's not as bad as it could be, but what now? I have a match today, she knows that. I told her I wasn't missing Christmas at home just because. I'm busy preparing but if she's already on her way that I might have to cancel."

"Don't get too ahead of yourself just now, her train just left. It's like 19 hours from now, and it has two connections in Portugal and France. It'll take her a while to actually get to you."

"Still, the game is tomorrow at 2:00pm. I don't know if I can concentrate in training if my child is somewhere in Europe. Just thinking about it is getting me on my nerves... I know I can't do anything until she's here but I still feel the urge to go looking for her."

"Listen, it's going to be fine. Nothing will happen to her on the train and once she gets to Spain she only has to buy another ticket from Barcelona to Madrid and then you can do something about it, but do not call off the game because of this. People are counting on you to show up, you know? Seriously, just focus on getting ready and everything will get sorted out. Even if you don't go and look for her, I think she made it clear that she's going to find her way to you."

"I suppose there's some truth in what you say, but it still doesn't feel like something a responsible parent would do. I'm just worried."

"And you don't think I am? She's still my niece; if anything bad happens to her it'll all be my fault."

"It sure will be, you better take the damn responsibility if something happens to my daughter."

"Why do I bother telling you anything? Whatever, I'll call you later."

"France and Portugal were pretty, right?" the assistant from the train watched Mao as she nodded her head with a smile. "You took a big nap earlier; must feel a lot better, hm?"

"Yeah, but I'd really like to get to Spain now..."

"Don't worry, sweetie. Look, we're already here." she almost jumped off her seat when she heard that, holding her plush bunny tightly. The woman from the train helped her gather her stuff and get off, then sweetly waved her goodbye from the inside of the train. "Take care, okay? You're almost there!"

"Bye, miss! Thank you!" Mao waved as well as the train's gates closed off again, then turned around to head to the front desk and buy a ticket to Madrid.

Looking around, she almost bumped with a couple of people who spoke in a language she didn't quite understand and seemed pretty confused to see a foreigner child alone at the train station. She ignored it, as she was busy being amazed at the difference between this place and her hometown, but she kept going until she finally got the front desk where the person in charge looked down at her.

"¿Qué?"

"Hi! Um... I wanna go to Madrid." she pointed to the screen behind the man, so even though he didn't understand the kid he knew what she was trying to say, and he answered accordingly.

"Madrid? ¿Pero qué quiere hacer una niña en Madrid?" she stared, unable to understand a word, and the man finally sighed. "Mo es mi cría ni mi problema. Toma tu boleto a Madrid."

"Thank you!" she took the ticket handed to her and payed the number on the screen and walked towards her next train.

This was it, she was almost there. So close to seeing her father it actually felt unreal! Even when she didn't even spoke spanish she was there! Just a few hours and she would be able to get that hug from him.

Of course, as the hours passed, little Mao ended up spending Christmas eve on the train, but the wait was worth it. When the sun finally went up and Christmas morning came around, Mao Itoshi arrived to Madrid. The city outside the train station was bustling with energy, with big christmas decorations on the local stors and a crowd of people walking around with their children. And so... what now?

Wait.

...What now?

Where WAS Sae? She didn't know. She knew he was in Madrid and that he had a game later, yet that was all. She didn't know where her dad was staying or where could he be now, aside from the stadium where the football game was taking place later, but she didn't know where that was either. The city was huge and full of people; what was she supposed to do now?

"Um... sorry?" she tried asking around for directions, but of course, the locals didn't speak the same language as her. The brushed her off as soon as they realized they weren't getting whatever she was trying to say.

So she continued walking, trying to find anything that might get her in the right direction. At this point, she was tired again. She was only a child after all; she couldn't walk that much without getting exhausted fast, but she kept pushing through. She was on a mission, and the goal was so close; she couldn't possibly give up now. Even if she was tired and cold and hungry... she didn't have that much time before her father's game started, and then she would have to wait even more for that hug!

After a while she stumbled across a café. She didn't have money on her, but she figured she was tired and maybe they could let her just sit for a little bit and rest so that she could get to Sae faster. She held onto her plush bunny a little tighter as she reached for the doorknob and got inside, just to be greeted by a young (yet older from her perspective) woman.

"Bienvenida!" she looked down at the child, and after a couple of seconds she became surprised that she was alone. Peeking outside the door, there was no sight of any parents or older siblings or any responsible adult. She also took note of the fact that her features didn't seem spanish, although they were slightly familiar from somewhere... "¿Hablas español?"

"Um..." the answer to that question was no. She did not speak Spanish, but she didn't know that's what she was asking.

"Ay, probrecita... no te preocupes, ven." she signaled Mao to follow, which she did, and she was sat on a nearby table. "¿Tienes hambre? Ah, es cierto, que no hablas español. Te voy a traer algo de comer, ¿sí?"

After saying a couple more things she didn't understand, the lady finally walked away, so Mao let herself relax for a moment on the tranquility of the almost empty café. The only sounds around were the soothing wirring of the coffee machine on the back, the television set on some corner and the few people that were in there eating. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, resting her head against the table, when the lady came back with a little baked pastry on a plate. She gestured Mao to not worry and just eat it, but before she could actually say anything else she was startled by the sound of another customer cursing out at the TV.

"¿QUÉ?" he exclaimed again, and so she paid a little more attention to the news on there.

"Y ahora, bueno, la noticia que ha tenido a toda España como loca. A las 2:00pm de hoy estaba programado el partido de fútbol que iba a dar lugar en el estadio de Madrid y en el cual iba a participar el llamado prodigio japonés Sae Itoshi. Ha dado muchísimo de que hablar como jugador; se le quiere un montón en su país de origen, y hoy iba a participar en este partido pero de última hora acaba de anunciar que no puede jugar. Es una locura, escúchenme que tampoco me lo puedo creer. El partido ha sido puesto en espera porque Sae Itoshi se está negando a jugar debido a que su hija está desaparecida. Dio algunos minutos de su tiempo para hablar con la prensa hace poco menos de treinta minutos y declaró que aparentemente de vuelta en Japón dejó a su hija al cuidado de su hermano, es decir el tío de la niña, y que... que ha despertado y la niña no estaba! Y en víspera de navidad, además, es que es increíble. Y para hacerlo peor todavía, la niña dejó una nota en su casa diciendo que fue a visitar a su padre, por lo cual Sae Itoshi declaró que su hija está en algún lugar de Madrid y que no puede jugar hasta que no la encuentre. No me creo que esto sea una noticia real gente, pero aquí estamos. Eh... pues ya saben, estén atentos. Sae Itoshi dejó la descripción de su hija para que quien sea que la vea lo pueda reportar o la lleve directamente al estadio. Es una niña de seis años, tiene el cabello oscuro y los ojos iguales a los de su padre; también dice que lleva con ella un... ¿conejo de felpa?"

"Dios mío!" after hearing the news, the lady was certain. This kid in the café was Sae Itoshi's daughter; her description matched and then it made sense that her features seemed familiar. So she was missing and her father was holding the whole football match until he found her... she had to do something!

She waited patiently until Mao finished her little snack and then approached her again, pointing at the TV where they were showing the footage of Sae declaring the facts of her little runaway. The kid gasped, almost trying to reach out to him.

"Papa!" that she could understand. It was very similar to the spanish word "papá" which meant dad so there was no doubt.

"Te voy a llevar con tu papá, ¿bien? Vamos." she offered her hand, which Mao took as the lady shouted that she was going out for a little bit and got out with her.

"C'mon, Sae, be reasonable. You can't just back out of the game like this! Do you know how many people are counting on you?"

"Yeah, the thing is, I don't give a fuck my daughter is MISSING. I was patient enough; I'm not doing anything until she's safe and sound."

"But... Sae! This game is very important for all of us! You're going to make us lose!"

"So you're telling me... a stupid football match is more important than my daughter's life." now THAT made him rethink his words, although not for long, because there was no way he was going to stay quiet with how much was at stake. But the next thing he said was the last straw for Sae.

"N-No... I didn't mean... fuck, Sae, she's been missing two days! Maybe it's time you consider the other possibilities and move on-"

"What did you just say?" his harsh tone and the darkened expression on his face made the whole room go quiet. "I don't care if you lose the game over this, you hear me? But that's my little girl, and if anything happens to her because of this I could never forgive myself, and the fact that you are even suggesting that she could be dead and that I just 'move on' is making me sick. You want me to play today? You better keep that stupid mouth of yours fucking closed or I'll make sure you do. I don't say things twice so you better listen up. I'm getting out of here to find her, understood?"

"Y-Yeah... I'm sorr-"

"Papa!" Sae's expression instantly switched as soon as he heard the familiar voice call for him, and as he turned around, there she was. Safe and unharmed, accompanied by a few security guards from the stadium. His eyes relaxed inmediately when he saw her ran up to him, then he crouched down and opened up his arms as he saw the little girl going for a hug, and once she was on his arms again, he let out a sigh of relief and held her just a little bit tighter. "I missed you, papa!"

Sae stood back up with her still on his arms, and frowned slightly as he looked down at her again.

"You are in very big trouble, young lady. You traveled all across Europe from Japan, through Portugal and France, just to be here. Do you have any idea how dangerous and irresponsible that was? Do you know what could've happened to you? You could've gotten lost, or worse. I am very disappointed; I was worried sick. You don't even speak spanish and you still managed to get all the way to the stadium." he saw her little smile fade away with his words, and he sighed once more as his eyes softened once again. "You must've really wanted to see me today, huh?"

"I did! Papa, I wanted to be with you on Christmas."

"We talked about this, Mao, I sent you lots of gifts back to Japan and we could always videocall today after the game; you didn't need to do all of this."

"But I did need it!"

"How so?"

"Because none of the gifts were what I wanted..."

"What? That's not possible. I sent you everything you said you wanted; I bought you that dollhouse you said was pretty and the dress you said you wanted for Christmas, there were more plush toys and accessories you told me you liked and things from your favorite cartoons. I don't know how I could've missed anything."

"That's okay papa, it's because those are the gifts from you! I did want those but they weren't my Christmas wish."

"Really? None of them?"

"Nope! They were things I wanted but they weren't my Christmas wish. But don't worry, papa, there's no way you could've known. I wrote it on my letter to Santa!"

Oh.

Didn't he tell Rin to check that as well? Damn it, he missed his daughter's Christmas wish and he didn't realize. Of course it didn't come true if he didn't know what it was to buy it...

"Well, can I know what it is? Maybe there's still time to get you whatever it is."

"It's okay, I already have it! It was a hug from you." and then his heart melted down. How could he still be mad after that?

"You little rascal. Why did you tell Santa and not me?"

"I figured he'd talk to you and maybe you would change your mind and go home. But then I found out what was his plan really was! I woke up yesterday and there was a letter under the tree! And it had money and the train schedule so I could get here today! And then a lot of miracles happened, like the person who sold me the ticket and the nice lady from the train and the café and me getting this far without knowing any spanish!"

"You found a letter with money under the tree? I didn't do that..." he whispered, and he certainly knew Rin didn't do it either.

"Of course you didn't; it was Santa!" Sae rolled his eyes and gave her one last hug.

"It still doesn't mean you're free from punishment. You're grounded for a month."

"Why?!"

"You traveled to another continent without permission and you're asking why you're grounded? Hand over that plush bunny, miss."

"Noooo, not that! I'm not gonna do it again!"

"You bet you won't."

"Don't take it, please! He's my best friend."

"I know." he huffed. "Fine. Now, I'm gonna need you to wait for me; I have a game to win."

[sanjarka]

Sleepover Saturday ask: Any head canons about Katniss and Peeta during gbt you'd like to share?

well sometimes i get a random urge to write some gbt everlark dialogue in my notes. it will probably never get out of said place but the general idea is they take it slow but also not. it's more like at first they just orbit around each other, then they're friends, then they're absolute best friends learning all sort of new things about one other. being intimate in a way they've never been before. with a lot of deep introspective conversations.

i imagine a good amount of arguments. something along the line of katniss feeling like shit about the way she treated peeta in mj to him saying something similar to i'm not perfect either katniss. when i felt rejected i basically ignored you for six months. but then katniss gets upset because why can't you just admit that i hurt you, be mad at me, for once in your life be angry at something. be angry with me. i deserve worse (because i do see peeta as honestly someone who would avoid any confrontation if possible). but then really peeta gets even more mad because it's you kat. it's you really that feels unjust in being mad at me. and obviously she had no issue with saying that she hates him in mj. but before? not really.

like idk i felt like she should've been pissed longer at certain things. that's why her hurt at the train really stands out for me. her saying i want to tell him how much i already miss him but that wouldn't be fair of me. because she has every right to tell him i've saved your life. and i'm sorry but you should be grateful. but she doesn't? no no instead she's heartbroken. instead she recognizes that he's being unfair yet doesn't want to be unfair herself. and she doesn't even expect an apology from him and is surprised by it, and when he yells and throws that lamp she is again worried for him. it's a headcanon sure, but i think there is something in katniss that takes responsibility in other people's pain after her mother's depression. cause if she were a better daughter, or easier to love her mother surely wouldn't have been sick. right?

and then of course i could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve you comes out. and now it's so complicated. and they're both upset. and sad. and then they're talking about prim. and then they're talking about gale and that pain and that guilt that followed katniss. still sometimes does. how even with him she never just allowed herself to be annoyed. it always came back to how she didn't see the situation correctly or how she owes him something or how she's not fair.

then katniss's mother calls and says she would want to visit (it's about a year and a half at this point of gbt) and katniss is having very complicated feelings about it and she is so hurt and then peeta's trying to understand her but he's also being slightly pushy about the whole thing because your mom is trying, isn't she? give her a chance but then why do we never talk about your family peeta? why do i always have to guess and never know? because i want to know you so i want to know them. and was that really the only time she hit you? and of all things he doesn't want to talk about this the number one on his list.

but the point is eventually they talk. and will talk. will continue to change and think and reflect and learn each other. and maybe she will always need to push peeta to accept his anger and maybe katniss will write him letters because it's more comfortable than speaking. especially in the beginning. it's an ongoing thing in both of them. accepting, not just one another (cause that will be easier, much easier) but themselves as full and flawed beings. but they like each other, and find a way to like themselves too. they grow back together!

they also have fun, and swim at the lake, and paint his bakery, and learn how to play guitar and ride a bike. and katniss sings and peeta paints. and he starts kissing her occasionally, after a particularly bad nightmare, and she likes it but doesn't know how to say it. now this is the part they're careful with. a bit too much. peeta never wants her to be forced into anything ever again and katniss doesn't want him to feel like he has to love her again just because he did before (but he never really stopped did he?)

but then one night, while they're touching up a portrait in their memory book. the one they did a long time ago but something isn't quite right they noticed. well really peeta's fixing just the right shade of burdock's eyes and katniss is starring at him and his eyelashes and he can feel it, just like he did before, and he turns and there's no one to interrupt them and then katniss is touching him, and his face, and his eyelashes and sorry you gotta a little bit of paint there but he knows he doesn't and then he's kissing her or she's kissing him and they're kissing very very much and katniss panicks and runs. because it's so much like the beach and those kisses she didn't dare let herself think about, but actually who is she kidding she's been thinking about them more and more but remember the last time. the last them you felt giddy and excited over this boy's kisses. remember the shattering and the pain. and she's running but he's fast too because this matters and she can't just leave. and just as she's getting ready to go out of the front door he's right behind her and the doors close and maybe there are tears in his eyes. and maybe katniss is crying now to. and she really feels it now. all the love and need and how it really isn't that different than all those times before but now she knows. now she's aware of herself in a way she hasn't been in years. and they do not want to mess this up. they really don't. they can't.

and he's saying please. don't run. i want to talk and she turns around and he's right there in front of her, everything she wants, everything she ever wanted. bigger than life, always so powerful and she doesn't want to talk. all they've been doing is talking. and she said that out loud of course and the she kisses him and just like on that beach he tries to stop her, to have them plan this whole thing out but it doesn't work like that does it. and he's lost too now. in that need. and the hunger. and it happens. the so after and the whispering and the you love me real or not. and real. very very much real. since the red dress, and the two braids and the valley song and the bread and the kiss on the bruise real. he says it after her actually. the i love yous. in the morning. and there are all these talks to have and things to figure out but it will be okay. they have each other!

[ami666]

summary: female reader is struggling with mental health and she can't sleep at school night so JJ comforts her.

warnings: panic attack, anxiety, crying, mental health, depression, sleepless night.

that's my situation right now (ofc without JJ so I decided to write this)

You were diagnosed with depression at the age of fifteen years old. You've been taking medication since then but it feels like they don't help you anyway.

Right now you are laying on your bed facing the ceiling. There's a boy next to you who is also laying on his back but with his eyes closed calmly breathing in and out.

Your chest is pounding and you trying to ignore that feeling but it gets so bad to the point where this pounding fills your ears and your head is starting to hurt extremely bad.

You are starting to breath very quickly and it's getting you even more stressed because you haven't felt this way for a really long time.

You tried to calm yourself down but you couldn't manage to control your breathing so you turn to the side. Face directly looking at the blond boy.

Waking him up wasn't in your business but you thought that's the only way to settle down.

You delicately put your head on his chest. More specific at his heart. You are starting to listen to the biting.

Suddenly you felt his big hand stroking your hair.

"What happened baby? Bad dreams?". He asked in whisper.

"I can't sleep." You are starting to sob feeling overstimulated with your emotions. "I-I don't know why I'm just anxious about everything and..."

"Shh... That's okay Sunny." He didn't stop stroking your hair. "Think about something nice". His lips at your temple. "Like maybe our surf trip after graduation."

"Please tell me about it" You said clinging to his shirt.

"Alright baby. We are going to be in every country we want. Italy, Spain, France, Croatia and even more. We are going to send postcards to our friends from every place we visit. I'm going to take you on real dates. But not that expensive shit. We are going to be on the beach. I will catch a fish for dinner and pick a mango for dessert. Oh, and we are going to drink the coconut water. At the night when the moon is going to be full we will be watching the stars while cuddling with each other. Maybe we will even spot a shooting star. If it's even possible I know what I would wish for. I know my wish. I already got it. It's laying just beside me."

At the sign of his last sentence you finally fell asleep still holding tight into JJ's body dreaming of your surf trip that you couldn't wait for.

JJ was watching and making sure that you were completely relaxed in your dream. He kissed your jaw and whispered to your ear. "I love you".

You said "I love you" as well but to the JJ you were dreaming of.

[junebugsarchive]

Hiii! Its my first time I request here.

Can you write about manager kim, mr kim?

Like headcanons or when he get jealous or anything is good with you. (ᗒ⩊ᗕ)

Im sorry if my english is bad. (*_ _)人

manager kim x reader ; headcanons ver.

summary: headcanons of manager kim x fem! reader

pairing: manager kim x reader

details: slightly suggestive . mention of alchohol . kinda depressing bc we know what this man is like . mentions of ptsd / trauma . established relationship ( he calls you his wife ) . all headcanons are my opinion, i'm not forcing you to agree with them! . all dividers used are from @cafekitsune . all pictures used are from pinterest . not proofread

a/n: my man just looks so silly goofy in the second pic. also, first anon ask!! tysm for requesting bae <3 did both headcanons and jealousy if that's ok with you! also i wrote a part of this in public and maybe i was just too paranoid but a girl behind me laughed im so scared now... enjoy babes!

let's start off with the most obvious obvious one; this man would die for you

you could tell him to go up against the government and he would do so without hesitation (he's basically already doing it anyways LMFAO)

absolutely adores cuddling up to you while sleeping. my theory is that this man secretly enjoys being the little spoon because he's never gotten that kind of comfort when he was younger

he likes it when you wrap your arms around him from behind as well. actually, he just likes any type of contact with you.

inwardly guilty he can't spoil you with lavish goods because he's not exactly rich. you deserve the world, in his eyes, and a secret fear of his is that one day you'll leave him

he's either a great cook or a food poisoner, there is no in between. either way, he loves your home-cooked meals the most

very domesticated around you. he radiates black cat energy, and whenever he comes home from work and practically drapes himself all over you, you're always reminded of a grumpy but comfort-seeking cat you once saw on social media.

not a great kisser, because let's be for real, between raising minji and his missions, he doesn't have a lot of time to practice his smooching skills. however, he's a really quick learner and you've noticed a drastic improvement in his bedroom skills ever since he started dating you. but he's great with his hands ( yk, his cqc... fast fingers... ). i'll leave the rest to your imagination

bro would absolutely be the type to be silent about his relationship with you, so people either find out through seeing him with you, or minji happily going around telling everyone she has a mom now.

my headcanon is that this man has horrible alcohol tolerance. one shot with hansu and jincheong is enough to make him red in the face. the first time he came home drunk, you thought he was kind of cute intoxicated and secretly filmed him the entire night tripping over thin air and arguing with the soap

would insist on carrying all your bags. it's rare for you to go on a shopping spree, but even if you're going out for your routinely grocery run, he would insist on carrying all the bags, including your purse, even if you keep insisting he let you carry something.

this gentleman finally relents and lets you carry the bag of chips home LMFAO

now let's talk about his... less than ideal background.

if you were totally oblivious about his past, he would feel a mix of relief and worry, because he's happy that you don't know about his shady history, but also worried that one day you would find out about it, and possibly leave him. let's be real, with the humongous target on his back, someone is bound to find out he has a wife and harm you.

he would never admit it to you, but in the end you'd find out anyways. there's no way the two of you could go your entire lives without finding out every little detail of each other's past, pretty or not.

let's just say you found out through someone ambushing your house when manager kim wasn't home to try and kidnap you. but of course, your husband, having installed silent alarms in every corner of your shared apartment, immediately came racing back to grab you and swoop you into a safe house in the blink of an eye.

he had explained everything to you, saying that if you didn't want to stay with him he would completely understand and accept it.

poor boy was so confused when you burst into tears and hugged him and called him an idiot. he genuinely didn't believe anybody normal would want to be with him even though he basically told them he used to be a ruthless war machine.

after you had calmed down, you had explained that you were disappointed that he thought so little of himself, and you were also really sad because you realized where all the scars littered across his body had come from, and it broke your heart to think that he had gone through so much pain during his time in the military.

after that whole fiasco, you treated his scars more tenderly than ever.

you would trace the bullet scars and lines on his upper body with care and softness as you lay in bed together, and he can't help but think that some good has come out of coming clean to you after all

but let's say that you knew about his past, maybe because you were a part of his squad back in the days.

shared trauma ig

but seriously, i feel like he would feel more at ease whenever he leaves the house to go on a mission because he knows you can protect yourself and minji if the need arises, even if he would still get anxious and worried for your safety.

tbh i feel like you probably caught his eye because you kicked his ass a couple of times when sparring lol

he would like the fact that he could come home in the dead of the night, covered in blood from head to toe, and not have to fumble for an excuse to tell you

nightmare bonding is real bc the two of you have probably gone through some extremely traumatic things in your early days, and of course it's going to leave a lasting impact on both of you.

some nights, the two of you would wake up sweating and shivering after reliving those moments, or seeing your dead comrades, and can silently comfort each other as you both steady your breathing and calm yourselves down

definitely would bring the two of you closer together than ever

let's talk about what manager kim would be like if he's jealous!

would be the type to subtly swoop in and enter whatever conversation you were having with the poor guy, remaining calm and collected, though he made sure he dropped hints left and right.

"ah yes, my wife owns that dress..." "my wife loves the tteokbokki at that restaurant..." "my wife... my wife..."

and when the dude finally gets the hint and backs off, you're always left feeling amused as you watch your husband stare at the guy as he walks off, a stoic look on his face, though you can always feel the triumph radiating off him.

and let's just say the guy doesn't get the hint, and instead keeps implying that you can do so much better than what you have right now. you smile awkwardly, reassuringly interlacing your fingers with his, but it's not enough for the cold stare to drop from manager kim's face.

spoiler alert: that guy either dies or he leads a very unlucky life afterwards

after you and him part ways with the annoying guy (you have to politely excuse yourselves with a lame excuse), manager kim is always left feeling slightly insecure and ashamed of himself. the guys that hit on you are always younger, always richer, always better looking. why would you want to stay with a broke, single father like him anyways? his secret fear comes back into play as these thoughts eat him alive

it doesn't take much to make him forget his worries - just reassure him and comfort him and pamper him, but if a few days go by without you noticing the shame and insecurities eating him away, it might cause him putting some distance between the two of you because he thinks he's not worthy of your love

besides his self-degradation, this man is one of the best men in manager kim to end up with because you know he's going to do whatever he can to ensure you live comfortably, with little to no fears or worries whatsoever. 10/10.

p.s. bro would defo be the type to get hit on by older women when he goes to parent-teacher meetings. and going back to how he wouldn't outright talk about his marriage, none of the women would ever know he was married, until they saw you come in place of your husband, who was on a 'work trip' (that was not true, he went to another city to murder some gang), and needless to say, the women never bothered manager kim ever again.

[yanderes-galore]

may I request a yandere concept for James Sunderland in DBD?٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

Here's the mentally unstable and depressed blonde. But in DBD. I reread the previous stuff I did for him to try and help me write him how I did before.

I'M SO MAD THE SILENT HILL 2 REMAKE ISN'T FOR XBOX YET! 😭

Here's some prompts I did for him.

Here's some Tarot HCs I did for him.

Yandere! James Sunderland (DBD) Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Delusional behavior, Murder mentioned, Jealousy, Projections, Possessive behavior, Guilt, Depression, Mentions of suicidal thoughts, Attempted murder on Darling mentioned, Denial, Manipulation, James plays victim, Forced affection mentioned, Forced relationship.

Honestly, having him as a yandere in his original universe is already bad enough.

James comes from a pretty tough place in his life.

After the death of his wife, he went to Silent Hill for either answers or clarity...

Then all of a sudden he's here, in an entirely new hell where he has to face creatures and killers beyond comprehension.

I've said this in previous posts about him, but James is extremely delusional and mentally unstable.

This is a man who killed his wife while she was dying in the hospital.

He's a man plagued with depression and has thought of ending it quite a lot.

When it comes to his obsession, he most likely sees you like he did with Mary, his wife.

He's often tormented by how much you remind him of her (regardless of gender).

This makes James conflicted enough as is.

At first, James doesn't want to admit he's falling for you.

He doesn't believe he deserves to be loved or even feel love again.

He feels panicked when he feels his cheeks warm or his chest beat faster.

He tells himself you don't even mean to make him feel this way.

You're just helping him survive, you're a survivor.

The only reason you help him is to benefit yourself.

Yet he's over here getting all bothered because you're paying attention to him.

He's pathetic and he knows it.

Despite his denial, he still feels his feelings getting stronger.

He falls fast due to how unstable he is.

Deep down James wants to chase how you make him feel.

He wants you to drown him in your everything, to make him forget about Mary.

He craves your kisses, warmth, hold, all of it.

He wants that so bad, he doesn't care how wrong any of it is.

He wants you to help him cope, but none of it is healthy.

He doesn't deserve to feel possessive or jealous.

He doesn't deserve you.

Yet isn't it human nature to want something you can't have?

James is unpredictable, always too deep in his delusions and hallucinations.

Now's not the time for any of that... You need to survive.

Unfortunately... James can't ignore the envy he feels forever.

He's aware he's a horrible person, a monster probably just as bad as all the others here.

Yet he craves you like you're his sanctuary.

James gets irritable when he sees you with other survivors.

He sometimes even hates how Mary seems to haunt him in your features.

James can never seem to cope properly.

His poor obsession is often a victim of this.

James tends to cling to his obsession.

He's either always following you or trying to pull you into tight hugs.

He's a possessive man, always muttering and asking you to forgive him.

He knows he shouldn't be doing any of this, he should leave you alone.

Yet he continues his actions, often pleading for you to forgive him until someone pries him off.

James has frequent unstable thoughts.

He plots how to harm or get rid of other survivors, even if they'll just come back.

There's even some brief delusional thoughts he has about Mary, making him target you.

It's terrifying when he pins you to a tree, hands around your neck as he calls you 'Mary'.

You're scared to die, even if it doesn't matter in this place.

James has no morals, not anymore.

James is aware of his failing mental state.

In fact... He knows how to use it.

James knows he should be ashamed of playing victim... but...

It gets you to play attention to him.

If James opens up to you, something he usually hates doing, he can garner your pity.

If he tells you about his depression... his darker thoughts... you'll comfort him.

You won't pay attention to anyone else if he steals your attention, right?

He doesn't care if he's manipulating you.

Your eyes are on him... you're holding him... you're comforting him...

He hopes you'll let him kiss your lips too, he wants to taste you.

James is a pathetic man who can't figure out what he wants.

He wants you to tend and care for him, to make him forget about Mary.

At the same time he views your presence as torture, only able to see Mary in you.

James isn't sure how much he can take.

Maybe this really is hell.

Maybe you're meant to be his torment, a worse torment compared to all the monsters in this place.

James hates it at times... but you're all he ever wants.

He's addicted to you, no matter how violent it makes him.

The others know him as a liability.

But he needs you.

Every kiss and ounce of affection... He takes it.

Even if you didn't want to give it.

James is a pathetic and selfish man.

He used to deny that, but he knows it now.

James would do anything to keep you to himself.

Manipulation, murder, it doesn't matter in the end really...

James just needs you, dead or alive...

You're his only way to cope.