#I can't tell if I'm bad at writing now or if I'm just depressed

[non-un-topo]

Lately all I’ve wanted to write is dark stuff, but not in the fun way. I think it’s the mental illness acting up again.

[kushnovice]

Be Mine Again

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x ex! reader

Synopsis: Reader and Bucky have been broken up for a short time, fighting often and rarely seeing eye to eye. Bucky starts to fall into a bad mental space while a mission goes wrong.

wc: 2.8k

Warnings: fighting of all kinds, bucky being depressed and cold, angsty at the beginning, blood, choking, Zola being sadistic, not the best. if i made any mistakes please lmk :)

AN: Female reader, angst with little comfort (yet), lots of mistakes, self indulgent, it sucks but i had fun making it so i hope some people enjoy it. if so I'll write a part 2

"I broke my rules for you! I bended my morals for you, again! I had to change everything I believe in, yet again!" She yelled out at the tall and broad man in front of her as his hand tightened against his glass of ice water, jaw clenching.

The kitchen of the Avengers Tower was very cold and filled with tense air, thick enough to cut with a knife. Bucky deeply groaned as he placed his glass onto the table with a loud thud, "I never asked you to do that. I never asked you to care about me, you did that all yourself." Bucky's hand ran up into his hair showing how stressed out he is at the moment, he had never been one to enjoy fighting, actually he hated it. Almost as much as he hated her."Don't you care about me? About us?" She questioned with a huff as her arms swung to her hips. "Truth is," Bucky stood up, slowly walking toward her with each word, "I'm tired. So fucking tired of you that you always have been nothing more than an obligation." Bucky's lip raised in a scowl. The hurt was written on her face but immediately gone as she grumbled and pushed Bucky back by the chest. "I'm done helping you." She sucked in a breath, "Did it ever occur to you that your hurting me or are you just that selfish and arrogant?"

Before she could react, his glass that was once on the table was now shattering against the wall on the far side of the room as he stormed off quickly, slamming the door shut in the process. Bucky made his way through the winding hallways with his fists clenched tightly to the point his knuckles were white. He couldn't stand when she would act like this, after everything they had been through together, she had promised she would stay no matter what. She was always just like the others, except Bucky couldn't get her out of his mind.

Bucky swings open Steve's door and slams it behind him as he paces back and forth through Steve's room. Steve sighed as he placed his book to the side on his bed and looked at Bucky. "What happened this time?" Bucky groaned deeply, "I told her about the mission we are going on later this week and she flipped out on me." He grabbed a workout dumbbell off the ground and started to work out his human arm by doing bicep curls. "She keeps telling me that she can't deal with me trying to track down and kill every single person that was ever or is currently apart of Hydra, that this mission we are going on is a trap." His breath becomes uneven as says breathy words under his tongue as his annoyed attitude has not faltered in the slightest. Steve rolled his eyes at the drama going on between the not so couple right now. "You do realize that she's scared of losing you, especially more since she's already lost you as a partner." Steve sighed deeply, being the person that both of them had come to confide in about their problems. "And with the Hydra thing, it's tricky because I know you want to move past it, and it was such a hard time of your life but there are better ways to grow past it, Buck." Steve talked softly as his kind blue eyes pierced through Bucky, hoping he would accept his words of advice but seeing how Bucky was instantly throwing the weight around as if it weighed nothing due to his anger, Steve knew Bucky wasn't truly hearing him.

Bucky dropped the weight at Steve's words, "Better ways, huh. there're better ways for everything but does that mean it's always achievable? No." Bucky looked at Steve almost desperately, "I don't want to lose her but if I don't do this, I feel like I might lose myself." Bucky sighed as he looked at the weight on the ground before picking it back up again. "What's rule number 3, Buck?" Steve asks knowing how Bucky's rage and trauma is having a profound impact on his own mental health. "What would they think about you after you murder them all?" Steve questions, knowing that if Bucky were to kill them then people would believe that Bucky was the Winter Solider still, or just a cold killer."Who cares, they took everything from me. They took me away from myself." Bucky stormed out of Steve's room in frustration and made his way to his room with loud footsteps as he carried his empty duffle bag.

Bucky's mind was whirling with angry thoughts about how no one understands him and the one person that did, was no longer a happy part of his life. He angrily shoves his clothes and weapons as well as his dog tags and anything else he would need into his duffle bag. Bucky fit everything he needed perfectly into his duffle bag and sat it by the door before he slouched down onto his bed. He rubbed his temple as he exhaled a deep sigh, wishing he could understand life like he did back in the 40's.

"If you feel it so necessary to risk your life so that you can battle an internal fight, then I'm coming too." She swung the door open as she placed down her duffle bag with confidence and stubbornness. Bucky groaned and ran his hands through his hair again, stressed out, knowing that she won't back down. "If you keep doing that, you'll go bald before you're ancient." She giggled snarky as Bucky narrowed his eyes at her seriously. "If you're coming, you're staying in the plane. Eyes in the sky." She rolled her eyes but stayed silent knowing that putting up another fight was worthless.

They made their way to the airplane with slow steps as the tension around them stayed present even in the silence as they walked feet from each other. Bucky's eyes were unable to focus on anything other than her, her hair, her body, her clothes, the way she held herself. He knew he shouldn't think about her like this after their no so soft break up but he couldn't help himself. He was snapped out of it when Steve talked to him on the plane, "Buck, why is she joining us?" He asked as he looked at her getting comfortable in a seat on the plane as if it was her mission to be on. Bucky sighed, "I didn't want to fight her anymore. She will stay on the plane the whole time." Steve nodded in understanding, "We got this." Bucky chuckled, "As long as you don't blow the whole thing trying to 'save the world'" Steve chuckled along with him. The plane ride was silent as they quickly made it to the main hydra headquarters with Steve occasionally talking about the mission and the plan.

When they arrive at the place, Steve and Bucky easily jump out of the plane, landing exactly where they needed too to be at the top of the Hydra roof. She got comfortable on the plane with the coms on, cameras on, and trackers on but she couldn't settle the anxiety creeping up her spine. She tried to push it down as she figured that since she was watching and listening to them and that nothing would go wrong. That's what she had wished for, but not all dreams come true.

After the two men had entered the building, an alarm went off causing the rooms to blare nosies and lights to shine red and white in an emergency. They quickly move to the wall, Bucky had his gun up as his eyes glared through the top of the barrel with intense focus as he lead them through the hallway while Steve had his shield up as well as his arm to help brace himself for any situation that could happen. The lights continued to strobe with the blaring alarm as they swiftly and quietly made their way through the headquarters. As Bucky rounded a corner, there was a Hydra solider waiting for them. He fired his gun quickly multiple times causing bullets to go into his shoulder, his arm, and his stomach. Steve quickly threw his shield at the Hydra solider causing him to go unconscious and drop to the floor with a thud. "Buck?" Steve turnt around quickly as he grabbed Bucky's shoulders to help him stay up as he is loosing a lot of blood.

"What's going on?" She asked through the coms as the anxiety in her stomach started to bubble up yet again. "Why aren't you guys moving?" She impatiently waited for an answer as she tapped her fingertips against the desk, staring at the screen of their tracker and trying to find them on the camera system. "Everything's fine," Bucky growls out in a snap. Over the coms she can hear Steve groan, "Bucky got hit, three times." he explains to her and while his words are processing, her heart beat increases dramatically. "I'm fine." Bucky growled out as he continued to make his way down the hallway with Steve closely behind him. She watches as the dots move slowly down the hallway on the tracker, Her anxiety roaring.

Suddenly the screen starts to glitch out, becoming unreadable entirely. She began to panic internally as she starts to talk on the coms, "what's goin' on?" She asks to no response but loud sounds like a frequency is blocking communication. She groans deeply as her anxiety is coming up through her stomach and settling at her chest as she makes her way up and slings a gun around her torso to make her way out of the plane which is now landed at the waiting point. She runs through the clearing and gets to the door, trying to open it to no avail, she uses her body weight next to slam against the door, again to no avail. Sounds of yelling and screaming stop her in her tracks as the anxiety now feels like an elephant sitting on her chest. Looking around, she spot a window and she uses the back gun barrel to break the glass, making sure it's safe before she climbs inside. When she gets inside it is dark and eerily quiet, she cautiously take slow and soft steps and she keeps her gun up on guard as she search's for Steve and Bucky. She shoves open a door which reveals a pitch dark room, She is hesitant to go in until She hears Bucky whimpering in the darkness. She quickly makes her way inside, "Buck?" She whispered as the door shuts behind her, she hears the door click causing her to turn back to the door to see someone outside the door flick the lights on to reveal Bucky on the ground bleeding out from multiple injuries, she ran up to him immediately.

"Oh Buck..." She sighed deeply and she glare up at the person behind the door. The mysterious person presses a button with a smirk before they turn and makes their way out of eyesight from her. She hears a hissing sound causing her to look up to see a gas coming out of a huge vent in the room, the barley visible smoke filling the floor as it causes Bucky to cough an incredible amount and making his injuries worse. The smoke filled the room and eventually her lungs as she can feel the smoke burning her airway. She coughs violently in sync with Bucky, trying to stay conscious and aware but it becomes more challenging as the world starts spinning and her eyes get heavier. Bucky suddenly stops coughing causing her to know that he fell victim to the gas, she tried to fight it as long as possible as she held herself up against a table but still inevitably fail as she fell to the ground with a loud thud as she went unconscious.

When she woke up, everything was groggy and the room is spinning and her chest feels heavy with more than just anxiety. She groaned out in pain when she turn to look around to see her hands and legs tied up to the arms and legs of a chair while she was also tied around the torso. Turning her head, she saw Bucky sitting there tied up the same as her, him still unconscious though. "Bucky!" She whisper shouted trying to get him awake, whispering his name loudly multiple times in hopes of him waking up. "Bu-" She gets interrupted by the sound of a door opening causing her to fall silent as she watches the darkness to see someone emerge from it. "Well, Well, Well. Look what we have here. The world's most dangerous assassin..." The person walks towards us to reveal its Zola dressed in his white coat. "And his little toy." Zola smirks at us. "What do you want with us? Bucky isn't under your control anymore." She speaks deeply and firmly even through the anxiety and fear that is ever so present. Zola chuckles at her question as he leans down and grabs Bucky's unconscious face, holding his face up by the chin, his fingernails digging into Bucky's cheek, leaving red to glow off of Bucky's face. "I want him." Zola lets Bucky's face go with no regard for him. His head falls back down as Zola shifts his attention back to her. "I can't have him with you around. With you here. He has something to fight for." Zola leaned in close enough to her face that she could smell him the smell of rubber and overpriced Calonge on his body, he smelt like fake money. "I'm going to make him lose everything. Anything he loved or ever will love in the future, I will destroy."

Zola pushed some of the hair that had fallen in front of her face behind her ear, "And that starts with you, Darling." Zola had a maniacal smile on, his twisted face that contorted the anxiety in her stomach from anxiety into fear and anger. Her anxiety and fear had instantly turned into rage as Zola kept speaking, her jaw clenching and veins popping out of her neck and forehead. "I'll kill you." Her voice growls deeply with hatred as she struggled against the restraints roughly with harsh movements. Zola couldn't help the chuckle that escapes his lip. "Or you'll die trying, sweetheart." He exclaimed with a smirk on his face, "You'll be fun to play with." Zola runs his fingers softly down her face as she holds a scowl and her eyes bore into him with rage.

A soft voice croaks out, "Don't touch her..." Bucky's horse and rough voice speaks out as he raises his head to assess the situation as the gas wears off. Zola smirked as he trailed his fingers down her face and down her jawline and to her throat where he roughly grabs it with a tight grasp causing her to gasp out at a loss for air. "You take orders, Soldat. You don't give them." Zola says as his dark eyes meet Bucky's whose eyes are dark and cold, his glare unwavering as his jaw clenched. Bucky thrashes around in the restraints, easily breaking out as he saw you under Zola hold, anger filling his body with red heat as he stands up in front of Zola, dark eyes that would send shivers down the body of a normal person. "Let. Her. Go." Bucky's rough voices speaks out firmly as he towers over Zola, he smirks as he lets go of her but reaches into his pocket and injects Bucky with a syringe causing Bucky to be disoriented and out of it as he stumbles backwards. "Stay away from her!" He yells in frustration as he tries to move close to her despite the drugs and ultimately failing.

"Bucky! Stop trying to save me. They want you." She speaks out firmly through her coughs and deep breaths. Bucky growled at her statement, "I will never stop fighting for you, defending you, protecting you. Over my dead body will I let you get hurt." Bucky's deep voiced traveled through the room as it sent shivers down her body. Zola moved to Bucky, grabbing him by the back of the neck like a kitten and forces him down to the ground as he digs Bucky's head into the ground before quickly chaining him up, Bucky being easier to restrain with the drugs in his system. Zola squatted down to make eye contact with Bucky, his eyes digging into Bucky's with determination. "I will destroy you. You'll be mine again."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?

Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.

In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.

The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.

But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.

I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.

One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.

Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.

I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.

I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.

Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

[barcaatthemoon]

my best girl || georgia stanway x reader ||

georgia comforts you when social media comments get to be too much for you.

there had never been a backup plan for you. football was your life, and it always had been. you'd been at the bottom of all your classes in school, and for the longest time you had no clue why. your parents had berated you for being stupid, and it wasn't until you signed to the manchester city developmental program that someone finally figured out why it was all so hard for you.

it should have come as a relief that you were dyslexic, but instead, you hid it away. your parents words about you being stupid still echoed around in the back of your head. and as your career blossomed and grew, more and more fans began to notice. at first, it was a small comment here and there about a misspelled word in a caption, and then you and georgia began openly dating.

the so-called fans started getting nasty with you. each comment under your posts was a reminder that your parents were right, you were an absolute idiot. georgia deserved someone who could spell simple words and write in complete sentences without having to repeat their words out loud. it wasn't fair for her, and maybe if you broke things off, you wouldn't deal with so much of the hate.

you flew all the way from manchester to munich with the intention of breaking things off. georgia loved the impromptu visit, but of course, she could tell something was up. she knew about some of the comments, but not the private messages. it was nothing crazy like death threats, but to have hundreds of strangers calling you horrible things did a lot to the psyche.

"are you okay love?" things had been quiet. you'd been over for three days, and georgia could tell that you were depressed again. usually, you loved exploring germany with georgia. there were spots that some of her teammates had told the two of you about that georgia knew you usually would have been all over. "can we talk about it?"

"i really don't want to," you said with a sniffle. georgia tilted your head up so that you were looking at her. there were tears in your eyes, and georgia hated that she let this go on for so long. "i don't think i'll be coming back to germany again. i think it's time that we end this."

"is that what you want?" georgia asked calmly. the two of you had taken a break when she transferred, and georgia had been absolutely miserable. in her mind, that was the biggest mistake that she had made in a long time. she loved you unlike she had ever loved anybody else.

"no, but i can't take it anymore. nobody cared about me when we weren't together. i was just a reserve player, but now i'm your girlfriend and people know that. they know that you deserve someone better," you said. georgia scoffed quietly as she sat up, causing you to also have to sit up on the couch. "i'm not good enough for you."

"why not?" georgia crossed her arms over her chest. your insecurities had been bad before, but never to the point where you wanted to break up with her. if anything, georgia had hoped that she loved you enough to help you love yourself a little more.

"because i'm an ugly idiot who can't make the starting xi to save my life. i'm a waste of space, and why keep me around when we both know you've got options, g." you threw your arms up as you began ranting. georgia carefully moved in and pulled your arms down to your sides. "i don't understand why you love me."

"because you're the best person i've ever met. nobody is going to be perfect, but i think that you're perfect for me. you're kind and caring to everybody, even our opponents. you have a smile that brightens every room that we're in together. you're so smart, but you don't realize it. if you have the chance to make someone feel better about themselves, you take it without hesitation. just because some strangers on the internet say some bullshit, doesn't make it true. listen to me, listen to everybody who has taken the time to get to know and love you. let us help you feel the way we feel about you."

"you're not letting go of me, are you?" you asked as you started to relax in georgia's hold.

"not in the way that counts," georgia promised you.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Indefinite hiatus

I was toying with writing up a long post about what running this blog has meant to me over the years and why I'm stepping away for the foreseeable future, but that feels too dramatic for what's really just me saying "I'm not going to be on tumblr for at least the rest of the year". So, I'll just say I'm not going to be on tumblr for at least the rest of the year.

Okay, actually I have a bunch more to say, but it'll be under the cut.

Politics sucks. And paying attention to it, even in the reduced way I've been paying attention to it over the last few years, is hard. You end up spending so much of your supposedly free time thinking about things you can't change, getting mad about things you can't change, and getting depressed when the people who can change things just keep going in the wrong direction. Even when good things happen, it's just a matter of a few days before something bad happens once again. And vice versa. It's an endless cycle of hope, despair, resignation. Rinse and repeat, and triple speed that cycle during an election year. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of spending every other year worried about what's going to happen on one day in November. I'm tired of hearing a piece of news and automatically composing a post about it or running through 20 different responses I might give to asks I might get about it in my head.

Everyone I know who doesn't pay attention to politics (or at least doesn't run a social media page dedicated to it) seems to enjoy their live a lot more than I currently do. Which sounds way more dramatic than what's actually going on, which is mainly that I want to get to a place where I just don't care. I want the world and its problems to flow off my back instead of weighing it down. I want to stop thinking about what people on the internet might say about something I haven't even posted yet. And that can't happen while I'm tied to this blog. So I'll be staying away from it for at least the rest of the year.

I did have a good time with this blog. I've met a bunch of really awesome people, some who are sadly no longer with us (RIP Blue), and some who I think will carry on the "fight" way better than I ever did. This isn't an admission of defeat, or pessimism about the election. Even if Trump wins, and I truly think he will if we have a fair election, I still won't be back this year. But I'll still vote and I'll still be proud that my silly little tumblr blog had an impact on some people's lives. I may not have the reach of a Tucker Carlson or a Glenn Beck, but I've gotten a lot of messages from people who said they changed their minds about an issue, or even politics in general, because of things I said, and that counts for something. If you guys take anything away from me, I want it to be this: Even the smallest impact matters. It doesn't matter if you only ever reach one person and then stop, reaching that one person is enough. Changing one vote is enough. Changing one mind is enough.

To all my mutuals, you guys are the best. I truly hope you have wonderful lives and I'm sad I won't get to see your names on my dash everyday anymore. To anyone I've ever followed or reblogged from, I couldn't have had a blog without you, so thank you. Yes, even the leftiod psychos, XD. To everyone else, find your own balance and never give into despair and never listen to people who tell you not to try. Even a failed effort is still more meaningful than sitting back and mocking people for trying to improve even the smallest thing about themselves or the world around them.

I won't be logging back in after I post this, so any messages or asks you send, I won't see. I'll still be active (or as active as I ever am) in my discord, so feel free to join there if you want to. It should still be my pinned post, but if it isn't, I'll edit this with a new invite link.

And that's all I've got to say for now.

[callme-dickmaster]

Headboard

summary: eddie buys a headboard (and frame) for his bed but there's something... off about it.

pairing: eddie x fem!reader - no use of y/n

cw: 18+ (minors dni) this is obnoxiously long, established relationship, L-bombs, pet names, mentions of nosebleed, accidental injury, small abuse mention (nothing bad), mentions of sex, funny shit, teasing, wayne being an icon, eddie being a goofy dork, -I think that's all-

author's note: hey y'all 😩 I've been gone for a bit lol. All I've had time for is scrolling and not being able to write has been so depressing tbh. That with all the holidays and family drama I got going on rn has been so stressful omg. But I'm heree I'm writing now that I have a free minute to myself. Soo thanks for being patient love you! <3

(NOT PROOFREAD)

Eddie huffed, putting his hands on his hips as he glared at the bed frame and headboard sitting on his bedroom floor. Wayne hummed, tilting his head to look at the picture on the white headboard.

"Well, son, I didn't know princesses were your style!" he chuckled. Eddie rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair. "They're not! Dude didn't tell me it was his daughter's headboard!" he whined.

Wayne laughed, clapping a hand on Eddie's shoulder. "Look, I'll run down to Melvald's and get you some paint. What you think? Bubblegum pink?" Wayne asked before busting out laughing.

Eddie crossed his arms, glaring at his uncle, "Oh, you think you're so funny. Well, I'll just put it on backwards so no one can see it. How about that?" he said. Wayne snorted and put his hands up in surrender. "Suit yourself!" he said before walking out of the room. Eddie sighed, grabbing a hair tie sitting on his bed, and pulling his hair up into a bun.

The only reason he got the damn thing was because of you. There were too many times during sex when he couldn't catch himself on the wall in time before falling on top of you. One trip to the ER after giving you a nosebleed was enough for him. So, he searched until he found a guy that was getting rid of a bed frame and headboard for a twin XL which was perfect. Only he didn't realize until he brought it home and took it out of the box that it was his ten-year-old daughter's headboard that had Disney princesses all over it.

Eddie sat on his floor, screwing together the bars that made up his bedframe until it came time to face the princesses. Eddie turned the headboard so it faced the wall and tried to screw it in backwards like he said. "Don't look at me like that. I didn't ask for you," Eddie snapped at Snow White. He rolled his eyes and continued his attempts with no such luck.

"Hey, boy. Your girl's here and I'm gonna go get you that paint. And don't worry, I won't get pink I promise," Wayne chuckled. Eddie snorted and thanked him, "Black, please. If you don't mind. If the pink is cheaper go on ahead," he joked. Wayne saluted him, grabbed his keys, and left. He ran into you on his way to his truck and he just had to tell you what was going on.

"Eddie got a bedframe and it's... not what he wanted. So I'm getting him some paint. You want anything while I'm out, dolly?" Wayne asked. You smiled and shook your head, "No, I'm alright. Thank you though! I'll go see what this dork is up to. I'll hold up the fort while you're gone. God knows what Eddie'll do alone," you laughed. Wayne laughed and ruffled your hair before hopping in his old truck and driving away.

You walked into the trailer and kicked off your shoes before wandering into Eddie's room and laughing at him sitting criss-cross on the floor trying to screw on a headboard the wrong way. "You look goofy," you snickered. "Jesus! Baby, you scared the shit out of me!" Eddie exclaimed, putting a hand on his chest.

You smiled and flopped down on his bed. Eddie gave up on his project and leaned down to kiss you instead. "Got a headboard so I can't abuse you anymore," Eddie snickered, bopping your nose to prove his point. You laughed and rolled your eyes, "It was one time 'ya goober!" you giggled, bopping him back.

"Still! At least now I can do that super hot and sexy headboard maneuver when we do it," Eddie said, doing air thrusts and pretending to smack someone's ass. You smacked your hand to your forehead, but you had to laugh anyway. Eddie snickered and flicked some stray hairs out of his face. "Wayne tell you he was getting paint?" he asked, sitting on the floor in front of you and rubbing circles into your calves. You smiled, playing with his hair as best you could in its bun. "Yeah. What's wrong with it anyway? Looks like a normal ass headboard," you asked.

Eddie sighed, going over to the stupid thing and turning it to show you the problem. You covered your mouth before bursting into laughter.

"Don't laugh!" Eddie grumbled, pouting and squinting at Cinderella's mocking smile. You giggled, wiping an imaginary tear from your eye. "I'm not laughing at you! I just think it would be fucking hilarious if we were doing it and Snow White was staring you down!" you laughed.

Eddie curled his lips in, trying to pretend like that wouldn't be funny. "Look, just- when Wayne comes back will you help me paint?" Eddie asked, "I'll make you popcorn and we can watch a movie after?" he offered to sweeten the pot. You hummed and faked having to think about it before you smiled and agreed. Eddie cupped your cheeks and kissed you as a thank you, planting tiny kisses all over your face after.

"Okay! Okay! Don't smother me, goof," you giggled.

"I just love you."

"I love you too, but you're squishing my cheeks, dear."

--

"I'm so sorry, baby," Eddie breathed, holding a handful of tissues to your bleeding nose. You side-eyed him and sighed. "I thought you said the headboard was gonna fix this problem. I think it might've broken this time," you said. Eddie winced, reaching over to the tissue box the hospital receptionist gave you two.

"I'm really sorry. I tried to catch myself! I just... missed?" Eddie said, cringing. You snickered and sighed, tossing your clump of tissues away and grabbing more. "It's okay. It'll be a funny story to tell the kids someday," you said.

"We're not telling the kids you broke your nose having sex!"

small a/n: it's been a while lol but hopefully this is alright :)

[moon4411]

Azriel x mate reader (Rhysand's sister)

Warning: angst? Fluff? Idk, my bad gramatic.

Where is he?_ I forcefully open the front door, the intense pain in my lower back prevents me from keep walking, so strong that I let out a groan.- Mor, step aside if you're not going to help.

What are you doing here? You should be in be... oh my god, you're bleeding!_ Mor took my hands to guide me to the nearest chair. – Where is Azriel?

Mor, please, i need to see him, it's been so long. _ I beg, letting out a tear for my brother who I haven't seen since he sacrificed himself for all of us and remained under the reign of Amarantha.

okay, it's upstairs, but I must warn you; we have visitors._She directs me to the hallway where is Rhysand.

A small argument reaches my ears as I get closer, I can see the blur of a shoe ending on my brother's head, then Rhys turns his gaze and collides with mine. So many years avoiding looking in the mirror for fear of seeing the purple color of my eyes, the same color as my twin's eyes.

Sister_ he whispers, and from the color that leaves his face I know that he has already perceived the smell of blood, as well as my hands that have some stains and my simple blue dress with the folds of the skirt of a crimson red color that is already turning brown.

He turns his gaze to the thin girl on the other side of the hallway, she is wearing an ostentatious dress and seems to be frowning until her gaze meets mine and sudendly changes to one of concern or fear. -Rest Feyre, you'll need it. We'll talk in the morning.

As Rhys walks slowly towards me I can hear the guest's door close and my brother's breathing become more erratic. He take my hands and starts crying. -W-what happened? Are you okay? _ he turns to look at the hallway i came through, looks at Mor and then at the floor, finding a path of blood.

Maybe it's because of the adrenaline that little by little leaves my body or maybe it's the shock of meeting my twin again, but I only manage to take two steps and hug him before i faint letting all my weight fall on him.

The next time I open my eyes again i'm on a bed, I recognize the walls, is my old room.

She's very pale, we have to call Madja_ Rhys's face is full of tears and his hands don't stop shaking. –Rhys, RHYS, calm down_ Mor's tone is severe. -She's fine, just a little tired, she should be in bed, not winnowing and looking for you in the middle of the night. Madja is already on her way with Azriel, but I need you to stay calm, okay? I promise you everything is okay, I know she's bleeding but in a moment you'll understand, you just breathe.

Apparently that calms him and he proceeds to take a seat near my bed while holding my hand.

I manage to smile slightly at him. –I'm fine, I promise Rhys.

Yes, well i'm not okay._ Azriel enters the room looking very angry, but I can't help but smile at how cute he looks carrying a small baby wrapped in a pink blanket.

I squeeze my brother's hand tighter as I watch how he is looking at Azriel and back to me.

Rhys, I want you to meet Emma, your niece.

Rhysand bursts into tears and Azriel brings our daughter to him so he can hold her for the first time. he smiles at me.- I think you two have a lot to tell me.

We let out a little laugh. –oh, believe me, they do._ Mor answers. –I'll go get Madja, I think she needs help carrying things to clean you up and make sure you're okay.

I nod and with a little help from Azriel manage to sit on the bed to take my daughter in my arms.

I missed you a lot Rhys.

Me too, I missed you sister, but don't worry, from now on, nothing will be able to separate me from you.

I think you can tell that English is not my first language, so... Yeah I did my best. I spent like 5 years without writing because of my depression, but I think it's a good time to come back.

tell me what you think✨🫶🏽

[yanderehsr]

Can I please request Arlecchino,Natasha,himeko and kafka with reader who died but came back to life somehow maybe dottore did some for arlecchino ones. Also I'm a big fan of your writing😊😍

I'm happy you enjoy my writing😄

Hope you'll enjoy

Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour, Kidnapped reader

Arlecchino: Never before had she felt such pain and despair as when you died, nothing even came close, so when the doctor came to her with a solution, how could she ever refuse. Nothing is as important as getting you back.

Arlecchino will not cry when you are brought back, but she will be extra affectionate and soft. Her protectiveness will increase by tenfold at the very least, she puts some of her children on duty to protect you while she's gone, she can not let you die again, not now and if she got to choose, not ever.

"Don't you ever scare me like that... *sigh* I don't mean to be angry at you but I can't allow you to die again"

Natasha: The shock she feels when you die is indescribable. It seems like no matter how much she tried, you still died. For a while she will not know what to do. But then it hits her, what if you could come back, what if she could make it happen, it becomes her new obsession, to bring you back.

You wake up in a cold room, it looks just like the clinic room you used to stay in, but it feels... different somehow. You can see different operation tables all around you, a person on each one, you can see Natasha hunched over one of them. As soon as she hears you she turns to look at you, her eyes looks crazed and eyebags darker than before, as soon as she realises it's you, she smiles.

"Y-you're alive, I did it, you're back... you have no idea how much I needed to sacrifice to get you back, but that doesn't matter now, you're alive and you wont die again"

Himeko: She becomes depressed upon the news of your death, she doesn't know what to do without you, she doesn't eat, doesn't drink and barely sleeps at all. She misses you so much, why did you have to die.

You can imagine Himeko's surprise and joy once she finds you again, weren't you supposed to be dead... anyways who cares, you are here now and that's all that matters. Himeko wont hesitate to kidnap you and lock you into her room, she wont let you leave her ever again.

"I can't believe this, are you actually back... thank goodness, any longer and I would've went mad... you aren't leaving me this time... right?"

Kafka: She wont show it but she is sad, she feels like crying but tears doesn't fall and she can't express it. On the outside she is just the same but for those that are close to her they can see she attacks a bit more recklessly, it later becomes so bad that Elio will have to step in to tell her how to get you back.

Kafka doesn't care what she has to do or who she has to kill, she will have you back. You are hers, how dare you leave her, she will make sure to punish you when you come back... but when you do come back, all she does is hug you, she can't bring herself to hurt you. Kafka will bring you somewhere safe where you can't possibly die, she'll make sure of it.

"You took your sweet time coming back to me, had enough of a vacation did you... I've missed you"

[adyophene]

lucifer x husk is something i never knew i needed and as a multishipper im screaming

literally. king of hell x some alcoholic furry guy

i love them i need to know how they wouldve met, fallen for each other and started dating. and how much thatd piss alastor off

Ooh I am so happy other people are enjoying this pair as much as I am! I've gotten a few asks about my headcanons for them, and I am happy to blab on and on. Fair warning. This is gunna be a long and rambling essay.

I'm gunna put it all under a readmore, just cause I want to insert the art I've done of them so far, since I've been half-heartedly trying to tell a visual story through the doodles.

Okay. On we go!

How they met;

We did see them technically meet in the show, where they shared their singular canon piece of dialogue, which was just Husk saying 'hey'. And then in the finale where we see a literal split second moment of Lucifer holding Husk's arm.

(also seeing the sweet looks huskerdust is giving each other here just makes me feel so delulu for writing this all, but crackships are silly by definition, so lets get back to the lucihusk) For me, what I imagined, is after the Hotel is finished its rebuilding, that is when Husk and Lucifer finally actually meet in a proper manner. I think Lucifer would be trying to make a good impression on all Charlie's friends at this point, endeared to all of them from their actions during the finale. Unfortunately, I think he is also the King of Bad First Impressions.

[Note. I think at this point Lucifer wouldn't even remember Husk's name quite yet. I think he would call him 'Keekee' ( by accident) or 'Dusk' (confidently incorrect) or just be like "Hey!.... Uh... You?" until Charlie or Vaggie finally corrected him. ]

Husk, on the other hand, I feel like maybe wouldn't gel with Lucifer right away. Wouldn't hate him, but also maybe not be enamored with him right away. Same as Lucifer, maybe he would have sweetened on him a bit through the hotel's rebuilding, but I think they'd start out at very neutral feelings. Maybe a vague sense of 'He's okay, but I don't know if we will really get along.'

Despite this, Lucifer is persistent, and he's going to be everyone's (except maybe Al, unless they start getting along by s2) buddy. He'd start hanging around the bar and participate in the redemption exercises.

Now, we know Lucifer struggles with depression, and I think he would be trying real hard to mask anything going on during this time. They defeated Adam! They rebuilt the Hotel! He believes in Charlie's dream, and he's more involved with her life and other people than he has been for years.

His only issue being Husk sees right through it, both because Husk is perceptive, but also because even the King of Hell can't help but have a lonely night or two at the bar where he ends up venting about his divorce and subsequent lingering loneliness.

[snapcube ref aside, )I really do think Husk would start to feel more positively toward Lucifer after Luci would drop the act somewhat. That they could bond over feeling both at their lowest of lows, while also being to admit that things seem to be getting better!

This would be about the point that I imagine Lucifer developing more romantic feelings! Husk would be a bit less prickly, and Luci would just absolutely eat up any and all positive interactions they'd have. I like to picture a lot of little shows of care at the this point, like Husk memorizing what Lucifer likes and even making up 'fun' drinks just to try and cheer the guy up. And Lucifer would fun a fun game in trying to get the grumpy cat to smile, and just, lighting up himself any time he was successful.

And that culminating into the two of them making each other laugh, with Alastor being an easy butt of the jokes, and a good way for Husk, himself, to finally get a chance to vent. I think Lucifer would be one of the only 'safe' options for Husk to do that with, in just so far as Al can't really threaten Lucifer, and Lucifer already sees Al as a bit of a manipulative bastard.

Falling for each other; At this point, Lucifer would start being a bit more caring toward Husk, though with that wonderful, oblivious flair of his. I don't think Lucifer himself would realize he'd have a crush up until he'd start feeling protective or jealous over Husk, and it would really throw him for a loop at first.

Because fake dating is one of my all-time favorite tropes, I have always had a idea for a fanfic (or comic) that I haven't gotten around to yet, based around Lilith coming back, and Lucifer panickily asking Husk to pretend to be his boyfriend, so he can appear well adjusted/completely over her. Of course the whole thing would backfire, as Lilith would see through it (as Lucifer wouldn't be as good of an actor as he'd think), and that Husk would end up kind of feeling hurt by the whole thing.

Husk, who'd go along with the plot with an eyeroll, would find himself seizing up through the whole fake date/encounter. Would find weird, sudden emotions bubbling up and absolutely hating it.

I don't think that man would think about the class difference between him and Lucifer up until someone would say something about it, maybe Lucifer himself trying to rationalize the (at this time still fake) relationship to Lilith. Now, Husk feels uneasy about the whole thing and ends up drinking heavily the whole night so he doesn't have to think about feelings. (Blitz and Stolas who? Ahaha. fuck.) Meanwhile, while the date would be fake, I think Lucifer would really rather like having Husk on his arm and feeling like he'd have a love-life again, while also not really getting why Husk's mood would be getting worse throughout the night. I think they'd still end up on good terms, but both of them would have their feelings in a jumble, and Husk would not like it. (he thinks he's lost the ability to love, after all)

I think somewhere at this point, as they are starting to develop feelings for one another, is when Lucifer finally starts really realizing how tied to Alastor Husk is, and he starts to make it everyone's problem. I do think Al and Lucifer would stay snarky at each other this whole time, but that it'd only get worse, as Al would poke back since he'd find Lu's over reactions funny.

I also think Al would be maybe the last person to realize anything romantic would be brewing between Lucifer and Husk, and he'd just think it'd be a purely platonic thing.

Beyond just bitching about Alastor, Lucifer would really be ramping up his attention towards Husk too. Fully in that 'puppylove/crush' stage, and trying his darndest to make Husk feel good and special. Husk would be resistant to it all, thinking it would just be Lucifer rebounding hard, and not wanting to get wrapped up in Morningstar family drama when he could happily (miserably) keep his head down and just keep drinking the days away.

But then Lucifer would find out about Husk's love of stage magic, and his history as a performer, and it'd be all over for the catman. It would become Luci's new pet project to rope Husk into some joyful self-expression, and after a song and dance number's worth of convincing, Husk would start to come around. I have to post all these images now cause- I drew them with the intention of mimicking a musical number! Husk starting off as a bit resistant before jumping in whole heartedly, and Lucifer overexcitedly dragging him along throughout the music number, hyping him up and just all around being smitten.

And this is where Husk would start really falling. Getting swept up in indulging his favorite, least destructive hobby, and having someone who absolutely loves it to bond with. Especially when it would be over. When they would just settle down and talk, and laugh, and bond over what they love about performing. The spectacle, the audience, the love of the craft. Its about the comradery!!!

@belladonazeppole wrote a wonderful series of fanfics based off these pictures, as well as the songs from 'The Greatest Showman' that really fit the ship! I would be remiss to not mention them here, because Bella and their fics are just wonderful!

How they started dating;

Now. Don't think just cause they both caught feelings for each other, that they'd immediately admit to it. No. I think both of them would drag their heels. I don't think Husk would admit to them at all, without some outside force effecting it. I think he'd stubbornly try to ignore the crush or drink it away, rather than let his heart become vulnerable to anymore damage.

Meanwhile, Lucifer would be struggling between his feelings for Husk and Lilith. (In the actual canon, I do think they might try to rekindle things, depending on what kind of person Lilith turns out to be, but I digress.) Part of him would be so swept up in a giddy kind of excitement, while the other would be set firmly in the camp of 'this is a bad idea, this won't work out, just look at what happened to your last relationship'. It wouldn't stop him from being outwardly more and more affectionate, but it would be weighing on him.

I do think Lucifer would end up being the one who would be thinking; "What am I doing. He'd never like me back." While Husk would be just sitting there (echoing what was said in the ask- sorry I went all wild and wrote this much about the ship dear god)- "I'm just some fucking furry alcoholic, what the fuck would the king of hell see in me??? Am I delusional? What the fuck is going on??" And I feel like this stage would go on for MONTHS and drive everyone else nuts. It would be clear to everyone (except Alastor, who again, would be just this meme

Though that wouldn't stop him from getting a little pissy about it) And then it would all come to a head during something benign, like a board game night. There would be flirting, there would be jealousy, there would be arguing, and then finally, loudly and with a lot of feeling, Lucifer would shout his way through asking Husk out on a date. A real Date. A capital 'D' date out on the town, dressed to the nines and a real good time. The board would be knocked over in the fray, game pieces raining down upon them while Husk would just stare blank faced, trying to process what just happened. An awkward half-minute would pass before he'd finally, trying to play it cool, shrug out a 'sure'.

How much it'd piss Alastor off;

In the aftermath, a radio static would just lowly grate everyone's ears as Alastor would be slowly coming to terms on how just annoying it would be to have his friend (/Unhealthy co-dependent pet friend possession??) romantically involved (ew) with the King of Hell (double ew)??? Then, either it would be something light hearted like 'he keeps trying to break them up but failing cause he hates interacting with romance' or a darker route where 'he keeps trying to manipulate them into breaking up by preying on all their worst insecurities in the relationship'.

And that, my friend, is all I have in mind so far for this delusional crackship au! There is more I could flesh out, of course, like Angel's role as a friend or potential third in the relationship, or what I imagine as Husk becoming like a stepdad to Charlie, but I've typed enough for the whole month. Hope any of that was coherent! I did not bother to edit or proof read it. Just pure stream of consciousness.

[aayakashii]

I’m so glad someone sent in a SH ask I’ve been too shy to! I loved it 💕 could you do another one with the remanding Hotarubi boys and Lyca?

ofc!!! I'm happy you liked it ๑´ ³)˘ᵕ˘៸៸ I'm gonna be honest, Haku's part kinda left me giggling and kicking my feet so I hope you like it as well fkfjdkdj

Warning: sh mentioned, a bit more angst on Zenji's part

"How did you get hurt?" Lyca says, grabbing your arms as soon as he noticed the fading scars.

You open and close your mouth, wordlessly, trying to think of ways to explain it to him. Lyca probably never heard or read about issues like yours. Would it be better to lie? Weave a story that wouldn't have him pity you?

You look at the earnest gaze he gives you, and you sigh. He deserves your honesty.

"I... I hurt myself. I'm the one who did this" you say, softly, knowing he would probably have more questions.

"Why would you do this?" he scrunched his face. "Is it a human thing?"

You hum, in thought.

"I guess you could say so." you reply, slowly, thinking of the proper words to explain it to him "Sometimes, when some humans are feeling very sad and like everything is a horrible mess, they feel like doing this gives them a sense of control. Not everyone does this. But, sometimes, some very depressed people might do it to feel some relief."

Lyca's wolf ears flatten against his head.

"I don't... really get it but... you were very depressed?" he mumbles, fingers tracing the little lines on your skin.

You shrug.

"I was in a dark place some time ago. I'm feeling better now, I promise" you say, and ruffle his hair.

Lyca lift his head up, yellow eyes gazing yours with determination.

"If you say you're okay now, I'll believe you. But promise me you won't try to hurt yourself again."

"I promi-" you begin to say, but he interrupts you.

"You can't lie! I'll know if you hurt yourself! I can smell you well, you know!" his face looks scrunched in anger, but his ears stay flattened on his head and his tail curls down.

You smile and pat his head again.

"I promise."

"My dear, how I wish I could have kept you safe from your struggles."

Zenji's voice, usually boisterous, spoke to you in a soft tone as he looked at the scars on your thighs while you slept.

You murmured his name in your sleep, unconsciously recognizing his presence in your room (his nightly visits became a routine, after all) and you held out your hand towards him.

His hand fazed through your skin, yet he still insisted on trying to touch you and comfort you as you slept.

He sat on your bed, eyes fixed on your peaceful figure, and he knew that those were scars from battles fought long ago – battles you have won. But it still pained him that he wasn't close to you since forever, that he wasn't able to protect you when you needed him but didn't know of him.

Even if he needed to write odysseys upon odysseys, singing praises to you throughout your whole life, just so you'd never feel so lost that you had to hurt yourself to find your footing again, he would do it.

Zenji would gladly haunt you for eternity, if it meant keeping you safe from your demons, in any way he could.

"Is this something you could tell me?" Haku squeezed your hand as he looked as the fading lines on your wrist, as you two held hands, strolling together on the beach.

You shook your head.

"There isn't a specific thing to say about it. I was in a bad place and made a choice that left these scars on me. It just... happened like that. I'm fine now, but also I don't regret them, nor do I feel ashamed. I did what I could to survive."

Haku stopped on his tracks and stared deeply into your eyes. He sighed, a faint smile gracing his face, and brought your wrist to his lips, kissing each scar.

"You're very strong. You should give me some chances to be your savior, you know? How am I ever going to look cool for you?" he said after kissing the last scar, a smirk playing on his lips as his eyes shined against the twilight.

You playfully tapped his head to shush him as you giggled.

He squeezed your hand once again.

"If you ever need to fight to survive again, I want you to rely on me. Is that okay for me to ask? I'll understand if you'd rather not have me all up in your business, though."

You shook your head and brought your hand to his cheek, smiling as he leaned against your touch.

"I'll be more than happy to have you with me in any moment of my life, whether I'm struggling or not, whether I'm sad or happy."

"This sounds a lot like a marriage vow, you know?" he smirked again and winked playfully.

"Oh, shut up." you patted his cheek and walked away, with him chuckling as he hurried after you.

Masterlist

[fishhawish]

Can request some genshin men(your choice)with a s/o who can't cry. Like even when they are sad and wants to cry they can't. If you don't write for multiple characters you can choose anyone you want to. Thanks.

Yeah totes! Hope you enjoy🤍

Sorry for late response btw I got caught up in ROTC

.

Genshin men x reader who can't cry

Angst / comfort

Warnings: none

Gender neutral reader

★

(spun on a wheel contains: Nuevillete, Lyney, Kaeya, Tighnari, Xiao and Thoma)

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊

!!not proof read!!

Scenario: Reader had a bad day but can't let out the pent up frustration.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Nuevillette

He cries for You.

Although it may not look like it, Nuviluette is truly an emotional man. Especially when his significant other is upset. You both lay on the bed, You curled up against him while he holds you tightly in attempt to comfort you. You want to cry but tears won't spill, leaving you in absolutely agony. Your lover can't help but get emotional at the sight, his eyes watery as he cuddles you. He apologizes but he still can't help it. All he wishes of is for You to be happy again. He's really trying his best. He ordered snacks and little gifts in attempt to cheer you up. When the maid delivers them he is the one to answer. Presenting you with the little gift he tried his best to make you happy, smiling at you and speaking in his gentle tone "My dear, I have gotten You a gift. "Please allow me to treat You during this unfortunate time."

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Lyney

He understands You.

Lyney, who grew up in the House of Hearth. Also experienced the inability to cry. Growing up under 'Father' really caused tension for Him as a child. As of currently You now sit with your Magician lover, in his lap on the sofa of his home. Tears waiting to spill but they don't. He sighs and rubs your back gently in little circles. "Ma chérie, please take your time." His loving voice rang in your ears. He looks over to grab the blanket to the side of him and wraps it over both of your bodies. "We have all the time in the world, do not fear " He whispers. Laying back and taking you with him to lay on top of him. He kisses the top of your head and soothes you to sleep with a lullaby that his 'Father' taught him.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Kaeya

He drops everything for You.

Kaeya who noticed that You haven't visited him all day, began to worry. He needed to make sure. He speed walked to your home just to check on You, who also didn't answer the door. Kaeya unlocking the door with the key under the door mat entered the cozy home to see a depressing state. Him dashing towards you to, embracing you instantly. He begged you to tell him what happened, but after he himself calmed down he decided to give you some time. He loves you dearly more than anything. Kaeya gently kisses your temple before picking you up and relocating you back to your bedroom. When You mentioned to him that you want to cry but you can't, he says back a almost silent "me too".

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Tighnari

He who tried his best.

Tighnari seems to over prioritize work, often not even noticing his own needs. And even if he says breaks are good sometimes, how often does he truly do so? Tighnari isn't as good with comforting, but he knows enough to try to help due to him taking care of Collei. So now here You are, sitting in Tighnari's lap at his desk. Face tucked into his shoulder hiding from the world as his tail wraps around you along with his arm, his other arm finding it's way to intertwine both of your hands together. His thumb rubs against the back of your hand, comforting you. He looks at you, pain filling his heart. He doesn't know what to say, he's afraid that he'll say the wrong thing. Especially without you being able to cry at the moment. But after a while he gathers courage and whispers "It's okay I'm here now."

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Xiao

He fights just for You.

Xiao's daily life consist of fighting the demons that intend to harm liyue. However when he hears your sweet voice call his name, the demons he fends off fate was sealed you opened your mouth. It takes him mere seconds to finish and teleport to You, and seconds to see your gloomy expression. This leaves Xiao in a panic because he doesn't know what to do. Xiao doesn't know much about humans, but he tries his best for you. He gently reaches out to touch your hand, embracing your hand with his. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" He says, worry sinking in his stomach. You suddenly embrace him, trying your best to let your emotions out but its not working. Although Xiao is stiff, he still complies with your action. Gently wrapping his arms around you as well. "I'll always protect You until the end." He says.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Thoma

He takes the best care of You.

Thoma, who is amazing with caring for others. He loves you more than anything, you're practically his sunshine. So when You walked up to him and ask him for comfort, he's immediately there for you. By the time you asked he's already prepared everything. He takes your hand in his and helps you drink the tea he prepared for you. "Let me spoil you until you feel better, is that alright?" He says worried, you just nod. When you mentioned you want to cry but can't, he feels horrible. He hugs you, pampering your face in little kissing, giving you encouraging words. He always knows how to make you feel even slightly better. He smiles at You. "Here, I'll make your favorite foods tonight. It's all about you sweetheart."

.

.

.

Finished!

Requests open as usual<3

[allieslittlewritings]

*not my gif <3

Care

Summary: Spencer takes care of his daughter when she's depressed and can't do it herself

Warnings: Depression, self-deprecation, bad writing, swearing, reader struggles to take care of herself

Word Count: ~ 1.4k

Spencer's apartment was dark when he entered.

Quiet, too.

He flicked a light on and looked around.

Not a single thing was different than when he'd left 3 days ago.

The book he left on the couch was in the exact same place, his mug still stood on the coffee table.

He called your name into the apartment, not getting an answer.

He quickly dropped his satchel by his coat stand and went to your room.

The door was open, your room was just as dark as the rest of the apartment.

He saw you lying in bed and whispered your name.

When you didn't answer he got even more worried.

He stepped into your room, only now noticing how messy it had seemingly gotten.

Sitting down on the edge of your bed he reached over to your nightstand and turned your lamp on.

Your eyes blinked open and struggled to not close again because of the light.

You looked up at your dad and tiredly blinked.

"Hi," He said.

He had that specific tone of voice he used when he was worried about you, you could tell.

"What are you doing home? You said you wouldn't be back until Sunday."

Spencer's worry increased at that, "It is Sunday, sweetheart."

Your eyes widened, "What? No, it can't be."

"How long have you been in bed?" He knew it was difficult for you to get out of bed sometimes, but your depression hadn't been this bad in a long time.

You looked around your room, your brain was slow and tired.

It couldn't be Sunday.

You had an essay and homework to finish how were you going to get everything done if it was Sunday night already?

Spencer noticed your breathing getting more erratic.

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me, it's okay. You're okay. What is it you need help with?"

Tears of exhaustion and overwhelm formed in your eyes.

"I don't need help, I just have to stop being so fucking lazy." Your words came out harshly.

"You are not lazy," Spencer said. "You have lower energy levels because you're depressed and you haven't eaten in the last few days, not because you don't want to spend your energy on things."

You looked around at your messy room.

"I'll help you clean your room," You dad said, seeing what you were looking at. "But let's focus on you first. Do you think you feel okay enough to take a shower?"

You took a second to think before shaking your head.

Spencer nodded in understanding.

"That's okay." He thought for a second before standing up, "I'll be right back, okay?"

He exited your room and a few tears escaped your eyes.

"He just got back from a long case, he doesn't want to take care of you like you're a helpless child."

"His job is difficult enough, he doesn't deserve to come home and have more shit to do."

Spencer came back into your room about 3 minutes later, a pack of wet wipes in one hand and a cup with your toothbrush in it in the other.

He sat back down on your bed and moved your hair so it wasn't in your face anymore.

Your hair was dirty.

Spencer knew pointing that out wouldn't be helpful right now, it's not like you weren't aware.

With your hair tucked behind your ears and out of your face, Spencer removed a wipe from the bag and carefully started cleaning your face.

The hand he held under your chin was cold.

But the gentle way he treated you felt warm and healing.

He threw the wipe away in your little dustbin and then put toothpaste on your toothbrush for you.

He handed it to you and waited for you to take it.

You slowly brushed your teeth, using the cup he brought to spit the toothpaste out.

"I'm sorry." You whispered when you were done and he took your toothbrush from you.

"For what, sweetheart?" He placed the cup on your bedstand and your toothbrush on top of it.

"You just got back, you must be tired and I'm making you take care of me because I'm too pathetic to do it myself."

Self-deprecation was common in depressed people, Spencer knew that.

But it never hurt less to hear you insult yourself, to be reminded that you didn't see yourself the way he saw you.

"I'm not tired." He assured you.

He wasn't lying. Seeing your child depressed and exhausted wakes you up more than any slap in the face or ice cold water ever could.

"It's not your fault you can't take good care of yourself right now. And you're not making me do anything. I want to take care of you. I'm your dad, that's what I'm here for." He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"I'm gonna get you some clean clothes, okay?"

You nodded and just sat there as he walked to your closet.

A lot of your clothes were contributing to the mess on your floor but Spencer grabbed the most comfortable looking clothes he could find.

A hoodie and sweatpants and some fuzzy socks.

He also quickly snatched a hair tie from your desk.

Spencer placed the clothes on your bed in front of you. "Can you turn around for a second so I can tie your hair back, please?"

You did as he asked and he quickly tied your hair.

He ignored the urge to untangle your hair, you needed to eat first.

"I'm gonna go make you something to eat while you get dressed, you can take as much time as you need."

Your dad left your room, closing the door behind him.

Slowly and begrudgingly, you got up and managed to change into the clean clothes your dad picked out.

You took the cup from your bedstand and left your room, going to the bathroom to put your toothbrush back and use the toilet.

After finishing your things in the bathroom, you went to find your dad.

You found him in the kitchen, washing grapes.

"Okay, so I technically lied. I ordered pizza, I didn't make you something, I'm sorry."

Spencer felt bad when he realized he hadn't gone grocery shopping in a while.

But he figured there was also a higher likelihood that you'd actually want to eat pizza, rather than something he made.

"It's okay," You said quietly, moving to sit on the kitchen counter.

Spencer placed a bowl of grapes next to you and ate a few himself.

"Thank you," You said, picking up a grape and eating it.

Spencer smiled softly, happy to see you eat. "You're welcome, sweetheart."

The pizza got there shortly after.

You and Spencer sat on the couch and watchsd your favorite show, which Spencer put on.

You ate your pizza and watched your show, and drank a glass of water Spencer got you.

After you both finished eating, Spencer started helping you with your school things.

To your surprise, you actually got it done.

In retrospect it wasn't that much work, any bit of work sounded like a lot to you before.

Your eyes started to get droopy and it was getting late.

"You should get some rest, sweetheart."

You nodded in agreement.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed, just for tonight?"

He knew you probably hadn't gotten much actually restful sleep in the last few days.

And maybe it would be easier for you to sleep in a slightly different environment.

"Only if it won't bother you," You said, a sense of guilt washing over you.

"It won't." Spencer insisted gently.

"Okay."

Spencer went to put your plates in the kitchen and you went to his room.

You climbed into his bed and lay down.

You lay on the same side you always did when you were little and used to crawl into his bed when you had a nightmare, or just really missed him.

Spencer went to get ready for bed and then got into his bed next to you.

You were nearly asleep by then.

You moved closer to him and rested your hand and your head on his chest.

He protectively kept an arm around you as he read a few chapters of the latest book he was reading.

Your rhythmic and soft breathing let him know you were asleep and he quietly breathed a sigh of relief.

He eventually placed his book down and fell alseep, still keeping you close to him.

He would always keep you safe.

Not just from physical danger, from your depression and your thoughts, too.

fin. ♡

[chvoswxtch]

hi! could i request a fic where frank is helping reader with urges to relapse in s3lf h@rm? or maybe they already relapsed? if this is not something you’re comfortable writing please feel free to just ignore this :) i’m struggling w/ this lately so it’s just self indulgent for me lmao and your writing is ADDICTIVE. you have such a talent and i hope you’re doing well!! x

my sweet sweet sweet nonnie. I am sending you all the love I possibly can. I am so sorry that you are struggling. I know what it's like to struggle with this, and I promise you it does get better. I know everyone says that and sometimes those words can sound so hollow, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. it can't rain all the time darling 🖤

I hope you are doing well today, and I hope this brings you the comfort that you need. thank you for trusting me with this, and know that I love you and am so proud of you

just a quick psa to everyone on my frank taglist, because this is such a sensitive topic, i'm not tagging anyone in this one. if you are not comfortable with this topic or if it could be triggering for you, please sit this one out. you will not hurt my feelings, I promise.

warning: mentions of depression & self harm word count: 775

let it out.

Frank noticed everything. He was trained to look for subtle clues of threats everywhere, to anticipate them and quickly conjure a counterattack, or eliminate them before they even got a chance to strike. After that tragic day in Central Park, his sense of hypervigilance only became even more extreme. 

Which is why he knew that things were getting bad for you again.

He could see it. That bright sparkle in your eyes that could put the stars to shame grew more and more dim until it was nothing more than achromatic ash. The heaviness weighing down on your chest that turned the subconscious act of breathing into a relentless struggle and made your movements lethargic was like an astral presence only his eyes could detect. He could hear it in your voice, the melodic warmth replaced by an echoing numbness. It seemed as though each day another of your vibrant petals withered and fell until you were rendered a bare and hollow stem.

It killed Frank to see you like this. He wanted so badly to help, he just didn’t know how. You wouldn’t talk to him about it, wouldn’t tell him what you needed. But he didn’t get upset with you, because he figured you might not even know what you needed. He was growing increasingly worried because nothing he was doing seemed to help at all. Fear was an emotion Frank very rarely experienced, but he was terrified that he’d lose you to your own cruel mind. 

Things were bad right now, but it would pass. You’d fallen from the clouds of progression, backsliding until the cold hard impact of relapse bruised and rattled your bones, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t find your way back up again. It didn’t erase all the breakthroughs in your recovery. And if you couldn’t make it back up on your own, Frank would carry you himself.

Frank sat with you in the bath, enveloping you in the comfort of his body and the hot water, hoping it would soothe you. Taking care of yourself had become as hard as getting out of bed, but it was okay. He could help you with that. He’d washed your hair, taking his time to massage your scalp before gently rinsing the shampoo out completely. His large and calloused hands slowly and tenderly lathered your skin in the suds of your body wash, not missing a single inch of you. 

Your face was as blank as a pure canvas, but there was raw sorrow in your eyes and agony building up along your lash line. Frank held onto you tightly, tracing your self-inflicted scars with the pad of his thumb, applying pressure with each stroke while he spoke quietly in your ear.

“I know it hurts, baby. But you ain’t gotta let it out that way. You can get the hurt out without hurtin’ yourself. You gotta feel it, sweetheart. I know you don’t wanna, I know it feels like it’s too much, but you can’t distract yourself with a different kinda pain. It ain’t gonna make this one go away.”

Frank knew you were listening. He could see the saltwater slipping down your cheeks, your expressionless face slowly morphing into a portrait of unrefined grief. He pressed his lips softly to each of your scars, holding you even tighter in a protective embrace.

“It’s gotta heal from the inside, baby. I know it’s hard, but you ain’t gotta do this alone. I’m right here, sweetheart. Just let go, I got you.”

He could tell that you were fighting it. That you were scared once you opened that door, a tidal wave of misery would devour you entirely and trap you beneath the current until you drowned, but he wasn’t going to let that happen. His deep voice was laced with sincerity and promise as he spoke into your ear again.

“I got you.”

The choked sob that caught in your throat broke his heart. The wail that tore from the depth of your soul was the worst sound he’d ever heard. Your shoulders shook from the impact of your overwhelming emotions, but when you shattered into a thousand jagged pieces, Frank was there to collect them all. He’d patiently help you put them all back together, no matter how long it took. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, gently rocking you as he soothingly ran his fingers through your hair, pressing a reverent kiss to the crown of your head.

“There ya go, that’s it. Let it all out, sweetheart. Take as long as ya need, I’m right here. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. Just let it all out.”

[poppy-metal]

poppylicious i hope you know if you did write biodad!art i would read it no problem <3 in fact i encourage it

-🐞

stepcest isn't enough I need him to actually be my father <////3

tw: incest. of the father/daughter variety. dubcon cause he's drunk.

hhhhh I'm thinking of being daddys girl and tragedy strikes. your mother passes away and you see your dad become a shell of himself. and you love your dad so much. you think when mommy was alive he was happier - brighter. maybe if you became like your mom, and did the thing's women do for their husbands, daddy would be happy again?

thinking of dressing in one of her flowery sundresses - because art hasn't touched her side of the closet. refuses to get rid of her things. you'd stayed to take care of him instead of heading off to college because you're so worried about him - drinking himself to sleep every night on the couch because he can't sleep in his - their bedroom anymore - you have to fix things. you even do your makeup how your mom did - how daddy liked it.

thinking of art being drunk when you come down the steps in your mother's dress and makeup and for a few moments he thinks you're really her - open mouthed and in awe as he watches you float across the room to straddle him. he comes back to himself when you lean into kiss him and he sees your eyes - your eyes that are different from your mother's - and he's horrified - but it's too late - you're already kissing him. and your mouth is warm and soft and you're warm and soft. and you smell like your mom.

he sobs against your mouth - trembles when you pull back and tell him it's okay - you're going to take care of him now. "shhhhh dad. its okay. you can touch me -"

and he shakes his head, his hands coming to your waist as if to push you away "baby stop - what - what are you wearing.." he tries to invite reason into his body, but you're not getting off his lap, you're moving in closer - reaching down into his sweats to palm his cock. and he's hard. he's fucking hard.

"oh god," he cries when you stroke him. he tells himself it's because you smell like her and you're wearing her things and he misses your mother so much - misses her body so much and he hasn't so much as touched his dick in months. he's been so fucking depressed. he hasn't been a good father. he's neglected you. that's why you're acting out. he grabs your wrist. weakly tries to pry your hand from around his hard dick, "stop. take that off - this is - you can't be doing this -"

and you take your hand away and he thinks you're going to listen to him - and you do - you do but not the way he wanted you too. you do take the dress off, peeling the straps down your shoulders until the material flutters down to expose your bare breasts.

"honey - no -" he chokes - but then you're coming in again, holding the back of his head and bringing his face to your chest. your warm tits envelop him and he's delirious. you smell so good. his brain is fuzzy. his throat is dry. his dick jerks in his sweats and when you reach down again he can't push you away.

he starts to cry then. and you coo at him, "im gonna take such good care of you daddy." you tell him. "you won't feel bad ever again." and then he feels it, your slick pussy at the head of his cock - he makes a wet sound deep in his throat, pitiful and weak and then you're sinking down on him, gasping - and you're so warm.

"oh baby." he cries. doesn't know if it's out of guilt and shame or pleasure because goddamn it feels - it feels good. tight wet heat. sucking him in. wrapping around him. hugging him. he's been so cold and miserable lately. you rock in his lap and cling to the back of his head as you start to bounce.

"daddy," you whimper. breathless. his lips brush against your nipples when you go up and down and you clench around your dad's cock. feel him let out a half groan half wail as you ride him. "you just needed a h-hug that's all. I'll be your girl - I'll give you hugs, daddy - with my pussy - "

he wants to die. he wants to die and be with your mother. he should die. he should die right now. but he wouldn't be with your mother. he'd be in hell.

hell for the way he's hard and twitching inside you - hell for the way he's moaning through his sobs. hell for the way he's so much stronger than you, even drunk and confused and he hasn't thrown you off him. hell for the way his hands eventually curl around your waist, start helping you bounce more properly on his dick. hell for the way he can feel his balls starting to draw up and tighten with impending release.

"I love you, dad." you moan in his ear.

oh god, he thinks and closes his eyes as he starts to cum inside you - I love you too, baby.

[furiousgoldfish]

(tw mention of suicidal thoughts)

Alright so I am writing this because I can't find anyone to talk to, and my brain is letting me know that I need to talk about it somewhere.

I am falling depressed, and I'm unsure if it's genuine depression, or some sort of deep grief that is just feeling very similar. And I've already looked up what you're supposed to do if you're trying to break out of depression; I am sleeping full 8 hours on a regular sleep schedule, I shower regularly, I do my best to eat regular meals (sometimes it doesn't happen due to lack of energy), if I have any energy left in me, I take a little walk, I pay attention to my surroundings. I do my best to answer messages and to socialize, even superficially, with the people I see.

However, despite me doing all that, the deep feeling of sadness is persevering, in fact it gets worse after my walks, I end up going home in worse feeling of dread than before.

I was going to keep trying to break out of it, and then today something bad and triggering happened, and my mind just went very dark. Like what is even the point anymore? I started considering if anyone around me would be impacted by my suicide. And then just tried to dissociate from the bad thing that happened, tried to create reality in which it didn't. Like I could ignore it out of existence. Like maybe if I just curl up over there and never look at anything ever again, maybe then bad things would go away.

I tried to comfort myself thinking I could, at least, tell people around me and see if anyone would say anything kind or helpful, but people around me did not care at all, would go on about their troubles instead and looked at me like I was weirdo for complaining. Which again, made me feel like talking to people was the worst idea ever and like I was dumb for even engaging, I should have known I'm alone in this.

So now I'm back to sinking down in my grief, occasionally getting numb from it and sinking again. I had periods, years of grief in the past, and it just feels like you're slowly dying, right, and it doesn't stop and it feels suffocating and like you'd do anything for it to stop. But also in the past, I knew what I was grieving; it was the loss of my delusion of family, loss of hope that I will have family members who are in any way safe for me, loss of security and safety that comes with family, acknowledgment that I was abandoned and left with predators for the most of my life. I thought I was done grieving about all that, because for a while I just didn't think about it, and it didn't bother me. I don't think that's what I'm grieving now.

It's actually hard to pinpoint it, because my memories are mostly gone, but I think it's the loss of friendships in my life. I've tried hard to build connections with other people, even as scared and reluctant I was feeling about it, but it always fell trough, and left me feeling with less hope. The ends of friendships were so traumatic for me, that my memories of the entire friendships got deleted. And I can tell right now that hearing anything about people having friends, spending time together and helping each other, that usually sets my grief off, and causes me to start crying regardless of where I am. I tried to recall my past memories of friendships, but all I get back are things I never want to feel or live trough again. Every memory feels like enough reason never to interact with a person again, all of them cut so deep I have to dissociate from them right away.

And basically I don't know what to do. I am losing every bit of my willpower or energy to do anything. Even with my best efforts to stay upright, to interact with my environment and go to walks, I'm only out of bed while I'm working. And I'm randomly bursting into tears and collapsing while I'm doing my job. I am messing up basic tasks. There isn't any activity that isn't exhausting. And everything I cared about feels like nothing to me. I can't even imagine a future, which is usually what I did to pull myself out of bad moods, I would imagine a future where I had a home of my own, and security that I would be able to survive there without having to fight for my life. Now it feels like even if I had that, I would just still want to die.

I've been slowly falling into this place for months, but it is more real today than at any time before. I've put so much effort not to end up feeling like this but... it only makes me more sad to know I'm in this mess anyway. I don't know what to do. I've tried interacting with people, I've tried befriending people, every new interaction feels like it's going to drown me further.

[correctproseka]

An essay on autistic Mafuyu

Coming from a very autistic person.

Mafuyu has a bunch of autism symptoms, but a lot of them can also be explained by other reasons, such as her upbring and trauma, but not all of them, so I'm going to start speaking about the explainable by other things traits and move up to "boy you're tism". (Notw that the trauma explanation can also have a pre-disposition to happen due to tism)

In the biggest "can be explained by her trauma" category, we actually have the biggest reason people headcanon her as autistic. Her Alexithymia. Which is just a fancy word for "can't recognize her own feelings". No i did not have to copy paste that name to not write it wrong. Yes, many autistic people are bad at recognizing their own feelings, me included. But we also have to note that Mafuyu absolutely hid away those feelings for a mask and because they were needs not being met, a "good girl" like her doesnt get sad or angry right? Thats what made her push down those feelings so much she just ended up.. numb. Its extremely common in depression as well as autism which made me personally not realize i was depressed until someone made me put it into words, it was similar to my normal.

Theres also her.. exquisite vocabulary, Mafuyu uses lots of fancy terms sometimes, which is very stereotypical white boy autism. But also, she was pushed books down her throat by her mom since she was a child, she was expected to be this "fancy" and "smart-sounding". So she is.

Observant. Mafuyu doesn't talk a lot, she observes. She can recognize things on others sometimes, but mostly about the environment, which can be an autism noticing a bird singing 5 blocks away or a trauma "i need to notice this or i get fucked" reaction.

Mafuyu as mentioned, tends to listen more than speak, I am personally not this kind of autism, but it exists, Mafuyu is quiet, listening and only speaking when she feels her input is needed. This can be simply a mixture of autism and trauma. She doesn't feel the need to speak, so she doesn't, why would she waste her energy like that? Smh.. but also her good girl mask is supposed to be a good listener, not much of a yapper.

Now we are starting to move onto the things she does that are less explained by trauma and more explained by tism. Which is my favorite part to analyze.

Parallel play: Mafuyu seeks comfort with being with niigo and working alongside them, she doesn't even need to be talking, as seen by the kitty event where she kept just listening to them on earphones, she just wants to be near her people and gets calmed down by being with them.

Bluntness. As an autistic person i am extremely blunt in wrong situations, and can easily not recognize its the wrong situation. Per example Mafuyu's "why dont you imagine you're gonna get killed if you dont do it in half an hour" or all the times she points something out to Ena and gets a scream back because it was the wrong time? Mafuyu says what she thinks and when out of the mask she really. Really. Lacks a filter, because she doesn't know when or what she's supposed to speak or not

She.. kind of needs people to say the obvious? Sometimes she doesnt realize whats going on, why she's reacting in a way, so and so. One of the reasons Mizuki had to tell her it's ok to run away. Mafuyu never considered it. It wasn't obvious for her like it would be for a lot of people, she's kind of very oblivious in emotional matters like that, and needs someone (coughs usually Mizuki) to explain something to her

There's probably more but im doing this in like 15 minutes.

Plus, all in all, she makes autistic people like me really relate to her, even if they can be mostly explained by trauma doesnt mean she doesn't show those signs or that they're only because of that, even the mask she uses is a known neurodivergent thing.