#I can't read that stuff.
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Please don't ask me for any donations. Please don't ask for money. I don't have any.
#please stop flooding my inbox with asks for donations#I'm so close to closing my askbox. The daily 'please donate' spam is eating away my mental health#I can't read that stuff.#I don't have any money to give god please leave me alone#personal
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@eydilily 's gempearl designs r so gorgeous i had to draw........ also a swap?? ft. some nzsl bc i was briefly possessed by the spirit of. hands.
#gempearl#shiny duo#ooooohhhh idk how to tag. what's the etiquette?? kinda don't wanna do the main tag for ship stuff?? aughhhh#disclaimer the sl might be a bit iffy. i haven't learnt any since high school but the online dictionary is pretty good so i'm HOPING :)#ik the sign for ''if'' is slightly off; the thumb should touch the chin. anyway :)#the idea of creaking gem who can't speak PLUS warden pearl who's sensitive to noise.... SIGN LANGUAGE IT'S PERFECTTTT. tho i mayyy have ove#looked how pearl is reading the sign (is she blind??) WHOOPS. it's probably fine 😬#my art#also hello eydilily if you see this i hope it's okay for me to draw these designs!! they are just SO GOOD i was SPELLBOUND when i saw themm#the texture and colours of the original..... OUGH. STUNNING.#mcyt
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theseus' guide chapter 8 spoilers !!!
an overly dramatic visualization of the chapter finale that i got way too ambitious with enjoy
#if this doesn't follow the exact description of what's happening it's because i can't read </3#fr tho just tried to make it match the music as best as i could#and maybe.. sometimes i visualise stuff without actually processing whats written down... who knows#also i am doing so great after all of that yep so normal. normal human behavior#gf theseus' guide#gravity falls#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#fanart#art#digital art#animatic#artists on tumblr#hummise art
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apple season
#my art#tloz#a link to the past#someone close to my school has a rly big apple tree they invite ppl to come in and pick from and I'm already making grabby hands#link#zelda#I was trying to work on my consistency in terms of designs and stuff way back when but like I can't see those csp files rn so rip#they get to have new outfits that's just whatever I thought was fun to draw at the moment thumbs up emoji#I have not actually read the manga but I am taking the orchard I want it too#with a couple way big trees it's what happens when ur out travelling I guess idk idk I'm a cringe city person#Blabbering in tags is So back
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ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????
#ramble#my first thought was like: how is this even a debate what about blind people. not every book comes in braille but MOST have an audiobook#or dyslexic people#you still enjoyed the book!! you still absorbed it!!! you got EXACTLY the same thing as people who read the words!!!#how does it not count????#i guess you miss out on the 'learning new vocab' you get through seeing the words but also#i don't really do audiobooks but i do a lot of podcasts esp fiction podcasts#and i have ABSOLUTELY picked up new stuff from there that helps with my writing#someone please explain how this is even an argument of COURSE it counts????#idk in my opinion finishing a book means 'i put the words in my brain and i thought about them and i enjoyed a story'#not 'i held a stack of paper in my hands for a bit'#i'm v lucky that i do have time to sit and read. and whenever i commute anywhere it's public transport so i CAN bring a book with me#but if i didn't have the free time or had to drive for hours everywhere i would be STOKED to still get to enjoy books#it's been REALLY bothering me lmao idk why i feel so strongly#for some reason it's giving the same energy as like. being told you can't take a comic or manga from the library bc it's not a 'real' book#of course it's a real book it's a story somebody wrote down#i can see this spiralling into 'if you have a kindle you aren't reading'. you have to sniff the paper. feel the papercuts
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Been rereading Little Women recently... or technically, properly reading it for the first time. The last time I touched this book was when I was ten, and the book I touched was a shortened chinese edition (or was it just the first half? anyway) Here are the sisters in 21 century post covid and I think Beth would've loved the groundbreaking invention that is the Hoodie
#i know she plays the piano guys. i read the book#just need to give her smth to carry and decided fuck it my girl knows her strings. piano is part string certainly this isn't a stretch#<- just didn't want to draw keys#behold. you can't tell me jo wouldn't jump at the chance to hack her hair off. she's dyke now deal with it#jo is also a jocky nerd btw#amy's stuff is just what i carry on a weekly basis. go amy#me adding jewelry to meg's fit: heeheehoohoo#art#illustration#character design#artist on tumblr#little women#louisa may alcott#little women fanart#character illustration#character art#meg march#jo march#beth march#amy march#wigglybunfish
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Just had to explain to my virtual assistant what Ao3 was and why I needed her to create an account so she could send someone a message for me.
What is my life.
Also, please don't tag authors in fanfic of their work, even as a gift.
I luckily didn't see the whole email before I realized what'd happened and hit the back button, but even reading the summary could've forced me to throw out years worth of work if it'd been similar enough to anything I'd been planning to publish.
And nobody wants that.
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vw sketches (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#sorry for how teensies some of the text can be T_T please read the id if you can't see them...#ive been sketching a lot these days - testing out some new stuff... i think I've tested enough though and need to start making#more polished work again orz... drawing is so endless... both positive and also Reluctantly negative#only bc my time management is terrible#ruporas art
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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Do yourself a favor and go read the entire fanfic work of @fanfoolishness
(In order: Under sun and shade, Blind Side, and Breathless (patching up is one of my fav too, I just had no cool sketch idea for it)
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#tbb fanfiction#dumping my “fanfic_doodles.clip” file here literally#sorry the style is messy#now I see them all Im like “ok it's all over the place zero/100 aesthetically pleasuring post”#hhhh its the thought that counts?#And tbh the point is just to convince you to read theses#because I'm like OBSSEEESSED with theses since you appeared in my notes#Every fic is gold#Me baiting my followers with pretty enough pictures to read fanfics#this being said I should really take the time to color properly my stuff#but I don't liiiiiiiiike it#there is tons of more talented artists if people want colored beautiful amazing art#me I can't really make my “”“spontaneous”“” “”“doodles”“” pretty without trying hard and at the end it's meh#They're so flat too#yesterday I was like “oh my scenes are becoming less flat I improved maybe”#Then I scrolled on my storyboard insta and was like#yeah sure no#I'm still faaaaaar away from the industry standards#I studied like at three arts school and I'm still bad at drawing TAT#why is my brain not working v_v#look brain I'm showing you nice pictures learn from them#brain: no Im gonna overfixate on this left hand here and only this#anyway
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another ole collection of one piece doodles...enjoy
#one piece#sanji#roronoa zoro#monkey d luffy#acesan#portgas d ace#and just cuz it had gay intentions ..........#zolu#i like writing alt text mosta the time but its harder for me because I am a guy who knows maybe 6 descriptive words. try my best tho#sometimes i run it thru text to speech in case i used an Unrecognised Word that isnt a name or something and can't be properly read aloud..#n sometimes i see people writing alt text and including stuff like keysmashes or something and im like BUT THAT CAN'T ..BUT.....BUT THE#anyway#gay peopele
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c. 1540 CE: a young man from Chalco, and his dragon.
#em draws stuff#em is posting about temeraire#temeraire#temeraire worldbuilding collection#⚬⚬⚬⚬⚬𐂂#<- tag for organizing when I'm drawing stuff that is temeraireVerse but not in the line of the plot of the books themselves#for school reasons I have been reading a lot about 14th-17th century mesoamerica#and thus am Interested in how that would have potentially played out in temeraireverse...#anyway! not sure if I'll draw these two again but I Have given the lad a day sign name (five deer) so I could Potentially. who can say.#haven't come up with a name for the dragon yet... maybe cipachcoatzin would work if can't think of anything else#<- Please Forgive My Dubious Command of Classical Nahuatl Grammar I Am But A Student#on that note zoomorphic interlace is not very much a style from this period/region but it helps me with composition things#five deer himself is mostly based on the illustration of the tlacuilo's son in the codex mendoza#the dragon is drawn more from a fusion of older scribal styles (ie. the codex borgia) and my own shorthands for dragon anatomy
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I've been rotating @sentientgolfball 's Rain from Devotion in my brain for the past few days, so here have two sketches and a bit of a color test loosely based on the bath scene🫶
#can't wait to read what's coming next!!#also clap for me because I finally took time to clean stuff correctly#rain ghoul#the band ghost#ghost band fanart#ghost bc#nameless ghouls#nameless ghoul#ghost band#ghost#ghost the band#ghost ghouls#band ghost#fanart#sketch#my art#illustration#traditional drawing#traditional art
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Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
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secret admirer part twenty-six
679 words
one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twenty-one twenty-two twenty-three twenty-four twenty-five
Steve studies Eddie’s sketches with a frown. They’re thumbnails of people in different positions, and Steve can’t help but compare them to his own. Perhaps he simply has to come to terms with the fact that he’ll never be a good artist. He thought he was improving, given all the time and effort he’s putting into the portraits, especially Eddie’s, but no. He still sucks.
The point of the assignment wasn’t to make the drawings good - only to provide a quick recap on anatomy. Still, though, Eddie’s are good. And Steve’s… Well, at least Steve isn’t going to get a poor grade (because that’s frowned upon when the student tries their best).
The figures on his paper are unproportionate and vaguely unsettling, like his art tends to be.
“They can’t be that bad, Steve,” Eddie says, naively.
Steve had unthinkingly shielded his paper from the other teen - a habit he’d picked up from the project, and when Steve had asked, Eddie had handed his own over passively because he’s a fucking art prodigy, apparently.
Steve slumps in his seat and places his paper in front of Eddie. He hadn’t even pushed to see it. Not once. Now, he picks it up and studies the sketches for a solid minute, brows furrowed in concentration.
Steve’s frown deepens considerably. He’s beginning to regret handing it over for judgment. Eventually, though, Eddie sets the paper on the table and looks up to make sure he has Steve’s attention before he issues his verdict. As if Steve’s attention is ever directed elsewhere.
Once assured Steve’s eyes are on him, Eddie picks up his pencil and hovers over the paper with the eraser aimed at it. “May I?” he questions.
Steve huffs. "Sure. ‘S not like they can get any worse," he mutters, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. Eddie erases things here and there. Steve thinks he's about to begin fixing the drawings, but he simply straightens and slides the paper over to Steve. He leans in close and points to one of the places he had erased. "Okay, so...”
He continues to suggest ways Steve could make them look more like the references.
At the end of class, Steve actually feels better footed - ready to finish up his portraits. He's almost done with his own, actually, and he only needs a few more things until he'll be satisfied with Eddie's.
The bell rings and Steve turns to make plans with Eddie only to find the teen already looking at him expectantly. "Uh, my place?" Steve suggests. It's only fair after Eddie had hosted on Monday.
Eddie nods in acknowledgement. "Sounds good, Stevie."
Steve clears his throat, trying not to let it show that he’s aware his face has begun to flame with the arrival of the nickname.
Stevie.
It's not like it's unprecedented, people have called him Stevie here and there for as long as he can remember.
It feels different coming from Eddie, though. Makes him feel special.
"You wanna follow my car, then?" Steve asks, standing from his seat finally.
Eddie levels him with a look that's hard to interpret. "Bold of you to assume the entire school doesn't know where your castle is, Mr. Keg King."
Right, he'd forgotten about the parties.
Steve scratches his check. "Huh, right. Meet you there?”
Eddie agrees and Steve finally takes his leave.
Hours later, when dismissal has rolled around, Steve is trying to remember what state he'd left the house in that morning.
He doesn’t go to his locker even though Eddie’s library book - which he’d picked up yesterday - is in his locker and he’d wanted to grab it for tonight. He's trying to avoid Tommy. He knows his friend will just act like nothing ever happened. And to him, nothing did. He's probably forgotten already, honestly.
Steve doesn't forget - he never does.
He goes straight to his bimmer and unlocks and opens the door, but as he’s about to descend into his seat, a hand claps him on the back and he straightens again.
So, Tommy's found him anyway. Great.
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#guyssssss#i wanna finish this so bad you have no idea#i can't promise it'll be speedy#but i can promise that i am NOT giving up on this story#i love these idiots too much to leave them (and you guys) hanging#it's just that the writing was already inching along what with school and work and drama#but now that i'm hardly even reading for steddie anymore...#let's just say#yikes#i love hearing how much you guys like this series#it's what motivates me to get more stuff out there#anyways this is what i had written before buddie took over my life and brain#also sorry is this is bad#i'll shut up now#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#steddie#tommy hagan
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hi i'm unw el l
#ramble#he is truly the guy of all time#i can't wait to find out if his eyes are purple for a Reason or if he's just a special boy#the dichotomy of 'what could happen there's 37 more books'#and 'oh god there's 37 more books worth of stuff'#disclaimer i didn't know a LOT about canon forgotten realms but 3 pages in i was like#ah. that's why minthara is Like That#there's an essay in my head somewhere about how i'm never judging a drow character again because it's LITERAL CULT MENTALITY#tl;dr i love it. it's bonkers 90s fantasy and i am Here#imagine the ascension i felt when i opened the book and there was a MAP#thank god for the death of cringe bc i'm so much happier embracing that i'm a big fuckin nerd and not too cool for dnd novels#every time i start reading again after not having time i remember why if fuuucking LOVE BOOKS
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