#I can't even recognise myself in the evil one
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bilolli · 1 year ago
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Good/Evil art style.
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hussyknee · 2 months ago
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Courtesy @crutchesandspice
Please view the video directly on TikTok to support the creator.
Follow Imani Barbarian on bluesky, twitter, Instagram
Please understand the context behind this request: a Black disabled woman is asking those who have the privilege, access and capacity to speak MAGA people, who they might listen to because they come from similar backgrounds, to try and understand them and talk to them. She's not demanding that a mentally ill queer person try to argue their humanity with family members who think they should burn in hell. She's talking about those liberals (especially white ones) who are tempted to dehumanise and write off anyone that voted for Trump as an act of political tribalism instead of engaging with why fascism takes hold of ordinary people.
Video description and transcript under the cut.
Video description:
A TikTok of a Black woman with locs speaking in front of a screenshot. The screenshot is of a YouTube video by Ben Shapiro titled "The EVIL Revolutionary Left Cheers Murder!"
Transcript:
Something is happening. Something is definitely happening. And I would be remiss if I didn't talk about this particular funnel into the alt-right that is informing how the alt-right is reacting to this moment right now. [Screen changes to a diagram titled "Right Wing Content Funnels", showing four red funnels that all point down to "The Alt Right". The first three are obscured by TikToker's head, but she's pointing to one that has "Health, Fitness Cures Holistic" over the funnel labelled "Eugenics".]
Because despite Ben Shapiro uploading this video, this was their response. And we'll all do image descriptions for this but yeah. Yeah.
So Ben Shapiro uploaded this video that says "The Evil Revolutionary Left Cheers Murder!" in reference to the United Healthcare CEO being gunned down in midtown Manhattan. But then something happened. (And shout out to Wild Greeters on Bluesky for bringing this up.) [Screen changes to show a post by user Wild Greeters showing screenshotted comments.] But these are the responses to Ben Shapiro on his own video:
"I'm as much right wing as they come. I have as much empathy as he had for those who lost their lives due to not recieving healthcare."
"Sorry Ben but nobody on either side feels sympathy for this man."
"As a long time Ben Shapiro fan buddy, your wealth is showing. It's not a right or left thing."
And that's what encapsulates this moment the most. Let's go over some more responses.
"Deny. Depose. Defend. We don't recognise him."
"Benny this is a non-partisan issue. Please stop trying to constantly divide the country."
"I'm proud of this comment section."
"Idk why you're trying to keep pushing this as a left issue. It's clearly across the board."
"While I don't agree with people celebrating this man's death, I don't believe this is a partisan issue like you're making it out to be. It's not right or left, it's people who have health insurance (it goes on to say)"
"Ben can afford any healthcare out of pocket plus his wife is a physician, must be nice."
And a lot of people have otherwise been flummoxed. I've even seen sentiments like this from liberals. I myself have gotten comments like "I can't believe that the alt right wants to celebrate this, the right is so violent, that's why they voted for that man."
No. No. This is one of the very few times when a majority of people are agreeing on the exact same thing. And it's important to understand how people get into alt right to understand why the left and the alt right are reacting to the very same thing in the very same way.
And it's because of this funnel right here: the "Health, Fitness, Cures, Holistic" into "Eugenics" and then into the "Alt Right". A lot of people can easily brush off why people get into the alt-right. The reality is that a lot of them did not start off with racism and sexism as their ideals, and the things that the left and liberals attribute to why people voted for Donald Trump. The reality is that with fear-mongering, which the right is very skilled at, they take advantage of people's fear of the healthcare system, not necessarily poor health in and of itself. This is why you're just as likely to find people in the alt right in groups on diabetes, cerebral palsy, autism—because the system itself is so terrifying that people will find any alternative to it. That's why they get into eugenics and then into the alt right. Not necessarily because it starts off that way a 100% of the cases, it's because they fear the very system that would allow for somebody like Brian Thompson to deny them care over and over and over again.
And in general, and this is probably a very unpopular opinion, I find it very irresponsible for people to consistently just boil things down to, "well, they're part of the alt right, they're just hateful," because a lot of the times, people don't start off that way. A lot of the times, their desire to go into the alt right starts with fear. And fear over being rejected as part of these very systems.
The issue is though, what the alt right does, is it blames the individual and not the systems because they want the systems to remain in place, or for those systems to get worse so that people they don't like die. Which is why our healthcare system is considered a medical apartheid.
This is also the reason why I'm not really impressed when you cut off your MAGA family members a 100% of the time, right. You share this moment. If you are not talking to them now about healthcare—and be mindful, I'm not saying berate them or argue with them— but this is the one thing you all relate on! Talk about it!
But yeah. I don't want to hear you cut off your MAGA family members now, and then hear from you two years from now asking everybody what we're gonna do. Now's the time! Now is it! Go out there! Go talk to people! Because if everybody is reacting to this moment the same way, now. Is. Your. Chance. Do you hear me? Now's your chance!
End transcript.
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iamverynormalaboutsge · 19 days ago
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Those screenshots are for context as to why I decided to lay out my view on Aric and Japeth there and to also avoid repeating myself.
Now back to the grind! (I will put a 'read more' because this WILL be long, be warned)
Topics: Aric and Japeth's origins, the context of their surroundings, the perfect isolation and the communal influence
@liketwoswansinbalance take a cup of tea or an espresso shot, this is gonna be a while
I will lay out a few of my takes on these two characters before I move forth and talk about their relationship because I feel that if I don't some details will not be understood or they will lack, what I call, flavour!
First, let us start with Aric who I am more experienced with because, well what do you know? He's interesting to think about.
Of course, we have to begin with his origins. That means Lady Lesso and his unknown father who for whatever reason the fandom wiki assumes is deceased but we have no confirmation of that. Perhaps it's because after the 'We can't imagine anyone who would miss him' his father didn't appear yet again Nevers have a very different way of 'loving' their children. Aka it's practically medieval times royalty but without the money, make the baby 'pure' for the bloodline, and move on. In our case make a baby for your lineage(with a willing or unwilling participant or with a sacrificial goat to a demon to clone yourself like it happened in Hester's case) and then we see where the rest goes. Now there is no doubt in my mind Lady Lesso loved Aric and she still most certainly held motherly love for him when they reunited despite him wanting to murk at her and managing to do so in the end. She admitted she was never afraid of him and more so afraid of what he could do to the people she cared about. But she WAS afraid of him when she realised that he was not HER son anymore.
We know that Lady Lesso was afraid of Aric's father. Perhaps the whole 'let's make an heir for our bloodline' was mutual but something happened and Lesso wanted to keep her son and avoid her husband(?)/father of the child. It is funny to me how people assume Ares, the God of War, is his father and honestly? I could see it. Lady Lesso has this aura of power around her and I wouldn't exactly be shocked if the woman who deemed Sophie as truly evil despite all of her flaws would only be swooned off her feet by a literal God, similar to how Sophie was very eager with the prospect of a powerful lover and having therefore a power of position. However, Lady Lesso perhaps sought out more than just power. I believe Aric's dad simply wanted to take Aric for who knows what reasons and Lady Lesso, one of the most powerful sorceresses that we know of(because come on. She managed to make the powerful protecting shield Rafal did at his full strength. That takes something) was AFRAID to confront a 'simple' man.
Now how does this all play in Aric's story if he didn't even know his father? Well, genetics count. Dovey recognised Aric's father from her memories after meeting Aric who had a similar outlook on him. Therefore Aric being very eager for war, battle, and savage violence in general despite maintaining a certain level of discipline which IS needed to win a war regardless of how brutal, would justify the Ares theory.
We know Gods can be charming or persuasive, we saw the air of confidence and undoubtedly strength Lady Lesso carries herself, and we see it in Aric how he has no issue getting where he wants, how he wants it, and deceiving everyone along the way. Despite supposedly having no interactions with girls whatsoever, given that the timeline only mentions that Aric's interaction with a girl ever before ending in the Arbed House was with the daughter of the family that rescued him that he nearly killed(not to mention that I remember that he DID murk their family dog. Perhaps the fact that the family's daughter was 'so weak' paired with his recent trauma of being abandoned by his mother who he most likely loved the most led to his whole 'women are weak, frail and pathetic' beliefs).
Therefore, how does Aric go on to 'seduce' Sophie and Hester? Although he didn't exactly go somewhere with either of the plans he had in mind with Rafal punishing him for going near Sophie and Hester not faltering for the guy he got stabbed by(even if the stab was meant for Agatha), we still see he has some maddening skills in being a charming devil and effortlessly so. Let's not forget that he ended up captain of the boys against any better judgement from Tedros. Sure he broke through the magic shield and we see Tedros question it even if he never gets an answer from Aric on it. A completely strange boy showed up on his doorstep and he just- let him in despite the clear threat he possessed simply because he claimed to(and didn't lie) that he was there as well because like everyone else he had something in this 'game' to go after. We see Tedros acting aggressively to Aric when he loses his patience in regards to the whole 'start a war already' situation, being threatened to be kicked out, but THAT was after Aric already become Captain of the boys. Aric must have proved himself in a different way than just breaking the shield. I mean sure he managed to gather up some henchmen between the time he left the Albert House to the moment he got to the schools, and we know that Aric didn't exactly have any friends. He was persuasive enough to get some other aggressive individuals to follow him and potentially even make them obedient to him. We never know what happens to them after book 2 but most likely just like the other princes and boys they are thrown out/leave because they are no longer needed therefore Aric doesn't keep them around.
Where does this play in the whole Aric-Japeth relationship? It does. Sure, Aric is very conscious about what he does and what effect he has on people but he had to learn he could have such an influence on others, and who was his first 'victim'? I believe that to be Japeth. Now I doubt Aric was aware of what he was doing. He was just a boy, no older than six who had been abandoned and turned spiteful against the cold harsh world. We know NOBODY liked Aric. Rhian and Kei surely didn't yet Japeth did. And I think the reason Rhian and Kei didn't like Aric is for the same reason that Japeth did.
Aric's natural charm worked on Japeth as they grew up together and 'explored'. While Japeth's acts of violence until then were to terrify both his twin and mother to the point Evelyn Sader who was very determined to raise Rafal's children(and who she also carried willingly despite being abandoned) turned to leave them in the exact spot where hearts so evil that they would ruin the endless woods if they were to be properly trained in the School for Evil were hidden (another screenshot y'all).
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Aric wasn't sent there by HIS blood nor guardian but rather by a family mortified by exactly this, a heart truly evil. He ended up there as an external factor who heavily influenced Japeth's perspective and views to the ones they were already being taught in the Albert House. That school's purpose is to redeem evil hearts like redeeming sinners in the Hazbin Hotel. However, the Arbes House had a far bigger success than we see happen with the demons from hell(weird parallel I know but you can't tell me it's entirely wrong given that Japan didn't do far more malicious war crimes than the characters we are presented in that indie animation). Anyway, as previously stated I believe that just as Aric's genetics made him charming, persuasive and manipulative, effortlessly with little to no struggle if I may, Japeth's genetics made him psychotic, prone to delusion as well as overly blinded sighted by his goal to account for all the details that may go wrong. These characteristics we seen in both Rafal and Evelyn.
We know that Evelyn was supposed to raise the boys and with the Mistral, sisters to help make them into what they are supposed to be. Japeth knew of his true nature while Rhian didn't and I don't think that it was Evelyn or Rafal to reveal that to him but rather the Mistral sisters AFTER Evelyn effectively abandoned the boys. I say abandoned because it wasn't until Evelyn saw how truly awful Japeth was that she was willing to truly drop this entire grand master plan despite carrying it so far. House Arbed specialises in hiding these evil souls from the schoolmaster himself therefore as far as Rafal was concerned in the context that he didn't exactly send monthly letters to his sisters, his sons were gone. Therefore even if Evelyn was still delusional enough to think he could be near Rafal, he rewarded her for helping bring him back or better said punished her for getting rid of his bloodline. It would make sense for Rafal to have noticed the impossibility of tracking down his sons the moment they stepped into the Arbed House which wouldn't exactly lead him to believe that there could be any magic more powerful than his to shorten his vision, because why would he? He never even considered that the students who loathed him could secretly work to overthrow him, or at least he didn't believe he'd get far so clearly while this is certainly a far stretch with the whole believing Japeth and Rhian are dead, it isn't entirely deniable. It would also make sense that after knowing of Aric, despite forcing the whole 'abandon your child or your career Lesso' he went off the radar when he got to the Arbed House just like it happened to Japeth and Rhian. Aric was evil just enough for Rafal to make him a DEAN on the SPOT despite having 0 experience whatsoever(outside the whole 'captain of boys)' and went as far as to give him the title of LORD.
I got a bit sidetracked but the point is Aric and Japeth were perfectly isolated and unbothered by any external factors in the Arbed House(perhaps the mistral sister keeping an eye on Japeth but not a lot more than that in the case of which Japeth and Rhian BOTH came in contact with the three only AFTER they left the Arbed House once they 'graduated' which could have been around the same time Rafal kicked the bucket, and Japeth was given more information than Rhian because the mistral sisters saw that unlike Japeth, Rhian's evil nature as little as it was ended up being stomped on and only Japeth was left with more authentic evil purity).
Japeth had violent tendencies but not out of any specific hatred or anger, but simply how he truly was we do not know whatsoever that Aric had such tendencies until after he was abandoned which would explain how compared to Evelyn who was mortified Japeth and willingly abandoned him and Rhian(perhaps Rhian too in the fear he could at any time turn like Japeth), Lesso had NO reason whatsoever to feel such genuine deep fear towards his son despite everything he did, despite the magic he inherited from her and the strength/mentality he might have taken from his father like Evelyn did. Lesso was afraid of Aric's father but loved Aric genuinely while Evelyn was supposedly madly in love with Rafal but FEARED Japeth. See the contrast?
Now that we have this cleared out we can finally begin the TRUE Aric-Japeth analysis as a WHOLE.
Japeth was corrupted by Aric. Yes, you heard me, Aric who undeniably is less evil than Japeth, is the one to have corrupted Aric and not the other way around. As I mentioned everyone saw it as troubling that Aric and Japeth interact with each other and given that it was Aric who ended up going to extreme lengths and being kicked out, rightfully so to think of it. Aric and Japeth only had each other as friends. Japeth was wicked by nature and birth, and Aric was wicked by his surroundings. While Japeth was relatively kept tame, that most likely changed the moment Aric came along. Aric who despite not being as horrible could NOT be contained(Just like Lady Lesso outright acted on betraying Rafal in the favour of the balance instead of just Evil).
Aric was also the first one to do an actual proper kill and not just torture or frighten as Japeth did to his brother and mother. Aric was the one to go the extra mile the moment he was pushed while Japeth despite all his wickedness never did such a thing or considered it even UNTIL Aric came into view and did as far as nearly killing Rhian. I mean a stab to the head-? Rhian had a hell of a skull not to die from it. A parallel to the False Rafal/OG Rhian on how HE had no issue with Hook eliminating competition but he wasn't able to do so himself until he was corrupted by external factors and did it himself at the end of the prequels by killing Rafal.
Likewise, Aric had an unconscious influence on Japeth. Aric had this natural attraction to get his way through. He got Tedros to place him as the Captain of the boys when Chaddick failed Tedros. He got Rafal to make him the new Dean/Lord of New Evil. He could have easily persuaded Sophie if Rafal didn't catch him in time and I dare say that even Hester was more than likely stunned enough by Aric's shenanigans for his action to still count as effective in playing with the victim's mind. However, while Aric was in conscious control of all of this, he never realised how he influenced Japeth. He was just growing, exploring who he was as a person and Japeth was the first-hand witness to that. Aric is more in the spotlight. He is in the shadows enough to not be noticed until it's too late but in the light enough for people to know to keep clear of him even when it is unclear the full extent of his power. Japeth is more of a shadow villain. He has no desire to step into the light, no need to put himself on display or hurt people just for the sake of it like Aric does, instead he does so by his simple nature, unconsciously.
And when growing up, a child takes from what they see around them including other children. Aric's naturally charming and suave behaviour put a spotlight on him from Japeth's perspective. One bright enough so that to him everything else becomes irrelevant as long as it's not related to Aric. If Aric didn't die I highly doubt Japeth would have helped Rhian with everything because he wouldn't have a reason to. Rhian wouldn't have what to bribe him with, even if Rhian didn't know he was beating Japeth out with the promise/idea of bringing back a person who most certainly everyone in the Arbed House despised. (Also the fact that Aric tried to kill Rhian and Japeth was dead serious on seeing Rhian choosing his safety over Japeth's happiness as a betrayal when he decided that Aric is to be kicked out. I mean I doubt it was Rhian's entire choice but that is the way Japeth saw it. Rhian chose himself over him so why should Japeth ever do otherwise for Rhian?).
Now that we established who wore the pants in the 'relationship' and as to HOW and WHY this is, let us define the status of it.
Japeth loved Aric. No doubt. I mean, having a magic space where you scribble your initials EVERYWHERE? I believe Japeth IS aware of how B+C scribbled on anything is usually a sign of romance or at least a very deep feeling. We see Rhian saying that Japeth considered Aric more of a brother than him, however, we then see Japeth ask decoy Aric for a kiss as a trap. Japeth was aware of his feelings towards Aric and so was Aric. However, Aric rejected that part of Japeth. In this regard, Japeth took after Evelyn's delusion that someone who didn't love him the way HE wanted it to, could ever, and also took after both Rafal and Evelyn, with Japeth believing that if he were to bring Aric back he could make him love him. (Rafal who thought he could make Sophie genuinely love him outside of desperation. Also, Evelyn who had thought that being of service to Rafal would gain her anything in her favour).
Japeth is the more powerful one in any aspect but mentally, whereas Aric in contrast naturally shines in through with his 'good' genetics. Japeth doesn't even think of stepping over Aric's authority over him, he lacks that rebellious spirit that Aric shines in. Aric dominates because he wants to. Japeth ended up dominating others because that was what was needed to get the one person he ever loved back. Japeth obeys Aric in his wishes, but during the scene where Tedros pretends to be Aric, we see that Japeth, from the demanding and cold snake, turns into a pleading puppy desperate for affection. He was right there and then ready to accept everything decoy Aric said if he didn't, to his credit and cunningness, test to see if this was even HIS Aric that he is so desperate about. Once he saw it wasn't his Aric, Japeth's delusion settled back in.
I highly doubt that the interaction would have gone any differently. Tedros didn't truly know Aric but he knew how he acted enough to realistically impersonate him for somebody who knew Aric on a far deeper level. Although he certainly must have had a flaw if Japeth decided to test out if this was Aric or not(outside of the fact that Aric was dead because we did later see Arthur talk to Tedros in the plane of dreams/magic so it's not wrong to think Japeth might have truly considered that decoy Aric was indeed Aric talking to him from the realm of the dead).
Now we established the relationship from Japeth's point of view + the view of everyone else but what about Aric? Now we know the romantic side of love was one-sided. We do know that Aric would send letters to Japeth, begging to come to him because he felt off without him, but I doubt that this was because of romantic feelings. Japeth states Aric was ashamed of their love, but this could be his perspective and rather Aric was ashamed of Japeth loving him like that or doing something to make him believe he could ever do that because loving someone also means hoping the feeling is mutual(unless you are that one sexuality where apparently to love people but you don't want them to love you back-??? Don't ask, I saw it once and that was enough for me to decide that the expertise of sexuality beyond bodily and mental psychology is no place for me to study). Aric was disgusted that Japeth who knew him best could ever think Aric could have such awful thoughts. Sure Aric hates women and he may have influenced Japeth in that aspect too because it's not like anybody else told him that women are pathetic creatures outside of Aric, which might result in a healthy young growing boy's hormones turning their attention to the same gender.(Reminder that places such as the military or conservative schools with only one of the gender present raises homosexuality because, in the age of teenhood where hormones flare up, they won't stop just because the opposite gender isn't present. Aric had contact with the opposite gender and saw examples of heterosexual couples, for example, the family who took him in, compared to Japeth who didn't exactly see Rafal around Evelyn I doubt that in the Arbed House, their biggest concern was making the boys good Christian boys and rather just oppress the evil as much as possible so that they can pass by as good. I mean Tedros is supposedly good and he deadpan chose the 'a villain will burn the world for you' route for Agatha so-).
I believe Aric missed Japeth because Japeth completed Aric. These two were the yin-yang of evil. The spiteful, fiery, rebellious part, and the calmer, colder, tamer part. Evil nonetheless but still, there is a very clear contrast between why these two are evil. It's a spectrum at this point.
Aric missed Japeth because Japeth was secure, Japeth was Aric's safe space. Japeth was the only other soul in this world Aric could share his dark thoughts and desires with, without being judged. Humans are still social animals even if some prefer solidarity, even our beloved introverts feel the need for a pet or some sort of emotional connection. Aric needed that connection. His status of power made it to be out of reach from others. His power build on terror and fear. He wouldn't trust those who loath him most to share his most intimate thoughts with.
Aric effectively isolated himself with his title, just as Rafal had. Aric needed someone wicked enough to understand him yet loyal enough to not choose their selfish reasons over his. Rafal had Sophie for that, however, he underestimated Sophie's external factors, the need for validation from a familiar person(Agatha/Tedros). For Aric though, this would have worked perfectly for Japeth. Japeth had no external factors to care for, not Rhian, not Evelyn, or anybody else. Japeth and Aric were only with each other. No other boys or girls between them. No other friendships or relationships. The only one who could have those was Aric and he effectively couldn't have them. Aric and Japeth wouldn't have been as deadly of a duo as people think. Yes if we take them from a standpoint of view in power and personality sure, but that's where they come and neutralise each other. While I believe that Aric most certainly expressed his feelings of wanting to kill Lady Lesso without hesitation and wanting to hurt Rhian for getting into his friendship with Japeth, he had no other specific targets. Sure Aric killed a dog, terrified a whole family and had an attempt on their lives, but you don't expect a rescue animal, abused, abandoned or traumatised to trust anyone right away. That unfortunate family wasn't the one Aric needed to cool down and recover from the essential meltdown he had for being abandoned and struggling severely in a highly dangerous forest with not just animals to worry about but magical/fantastic creatures who were ten times more deadly and could appear there as well. The Albert House was Aric's anchoring point back to reality and sanity but he had no one to coordinate his evil thoughts constructively like Lady Lesso does with her students because the Albert House works to OPPRESS these tendencies and that didn't sit with Aric's rebellious behaviour. If Aric wouldn't influence Japeth I believe his evilness could have been oppressed to an acceptable extent. Instead, we got the mastermind and his loyal henchmen. While Aric most certainly viewed Japeth as an equal and a person he desired to be around because he could feel human and natural around with, he didn't need him the way Japeth did because Aric experienced genuine unconditional love before Japeth, making him able to depict certain patterns and behaviours unconsciously.
Were Aric and Japeth friends? Yes. If these two weren't bothered would have half of the series happened? No. Were Aric and Japeth lovers? Not really. Did Aric love Japeth? Sure. Did Aric love Japeth? No. Did Japeth love Aric? Yes. Did Japeth love Aric? Yes. Did Aric see Japeth the way Japeth saw him? Not. Did Aric see him as an equal and or counterpart? Yes.
These two were most certainly each other's safe space, however, they viewed one another entirely differently.
Take this as you will.
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xanderjkz · 3 months ago
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Charlie Dalton- Misery Behind Walls
I finally figured out what makes Charlie's character such an interesting one (from my perspective)
There are alot of interpretations of his character but what the fandom can agree the most on is that this mf cares about his friends. Almost in a way that is above regular standard.
Okay sounds weird but why did I say it when it's never really shown? Well he often is in the moment when the other poet has a breakthrough in the movie. When evil Tom literally made Neil's day worse, he was the first to speak to him. But to base this little theory on a bigger proof I'd like you to remind the only scene where this big care is vocalised:
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"Fiete you're going insane!" I'll be not be misinformed about my state of mind! Let's move on! He literally asks so many damn questions that Knox gets annoyed with it. And the tone Charlie uses in that scene isn't one to mock him or put Knox in question. He's just curious if Knox has thought this through. Because he cares!
But why? What is so damn interesting about this dude caring? What makes Charlie the way he is?
Charlie somewhat hides his care for his friends behind the nice wall of Humour. Humour is beautiful, it's Twistingly and contently a nice way of escapism. Humour is provoking a peal of laughter out of someone and that's what Charlie does. But over the years when you use this way of coping you start to twist in the wrong way. It's a wonder how anyone who uses this type of coping mechanism can even recognise themselves in the mirror. After a while, you hide your internal feelings behind a wall too. For yourself you become unrecognisable.
But why?
It's established in the first 10 minutes of the movie that Charlie is from a family of bankers who are fond of him continuing the legacy. And we know that he is from a wealthy family. And most wealthy kid trope in media follows the structure of pressure and unobtainable views. Wealthy people don't want to be touched by anything lower. So they have to obtain this image of untouchability. This is probably the way Charlie has been raised. Money is more important. And like most wealthy kids, they get neglected for that money.
Every kid wants love. And this is what Charlie probably chased. And still is. And love can be interpreted in lots of ways but as I see in myself, I always tried to get attention so they think of me. If they can't love me, then I should at least linger on their minds. So what's the quickest way to gain attention and potential Recognition?
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(Here he more tries to loud than funny but the need for the same thing is still there)
He started to build his personality in a way that would later bring him to complete self-isolation. He doesn't give a fuck about money. And he most definitely doesn't want to go down the same way his father did. But something in him always wanted that recognition, so he didn't go against anything.
But then Keating happened
So we made clear that something inside him can't separate personality from coping, right? So what happens when a teacher comes around with the opinion to go against the system? Doubt? Anger? Or fascination?
Visionary
Charlie, if asked, def would've told you that life comes to him how it wants to be. As long as he makes his friends happy, then he is fine. Not happy but fine. So when Keating tries to bring new things into the mix, everybody began to rethink their story.
Todd got more comfortable
Neil pursued something he always wanted
Knox got the guts to ask a girl out
So what's up for Charlie? He becomes vulnerable with himself. As he lost his personality in humour so did the familiarity with himself. So every lesson he becomes more bold and Indulgent in poetry and the revolution.
But a journey to find oneself takes long. God a 16-year-old won't find it within 4 months. But for what it's worth he tries. Throughout the movie, these boys drift apart from tradition and self-destructive ideologies. The first time Charlie makes this change in his consciousness is this one:
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(Love how he looks in the angle)
Doing poetry doesn't bring attention to himself, not in the way we established he needs. So why is he doing this now?
"You yap too much, we get it" well fuck you, I'm getting to the better part
The reason for his somewhat impulsive reaction is the way he saw himself in Keating. Keating is a poet, but Charlie at first doesn't care about that. What he does care about is the cheeky way Keating moves his lips. From the comments about Meeks and Pitts names to the way he openly makes a name for himself. He thinks of Keating as this older version of himself. And he doesn't know what to do with it.
(Again this is going on in his head without him actually verbalising it to himself. Everybody does that, just writing it down)
So now this boy is chasing something he thinks can bring him to the Keating kind of level. In this path, he slowly becomes more radical with his thoughts, in a way that is pushing things over the edge. But in a boiling kind of way.
First, we have him ripping out the page. Then, the playboy scene and then this one:
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I'd like to believe that this was the first time that his inner self formed a sentence. In scenes before that one, he is fidgeting around, trying to really get into it. He liked what he heard. And while he is still clinging to this version poisoned on humour, he's getting out of it. BUT
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This scene is where he lets himself go. And it's safe to assume that something must have happened between the pic before and now. What is it? Heck, I know. All I know is that he tested the water and realised it's alright. (Again he is a 16-year-old boy, every 16-year-old has doubts) so everytime we do see him in the cave, he's wearing the damn hat.
So what have we established:
He cares deeply for his friends
He hides his need for recognition behind jokes
He somehow lost himself in it
He sees himself in Keating
Then learns how to be his inner self again (partly)
And he's doing poetry! Or Poetrusic...
But why did I say partly? Well, this movie is called DEAD Poets Society. And who died at the end of the movie? Ofc His CHILDHOOD best friend Neil. (This is heavily implied but even if they aren't, Neil was the closest to Charlie). He was probably the first person to know about it and definitely jumped into impulsiveness. In a way where he takes over the responsibility. Let's be real if this was at the beginning of the story he would've been one to be non-functioning but after he got his punishment and faced his worst, he knew that there are things to not be self-centered about. It's obvious that Charlie told the others. I mean, these boys look so distributed that they definitely couldn't form any sentence to the others. So it is Charlie. It had to be.
But he does let his emotions out. Not vocalising them but he shows the others that he understands. Particularly in three scenes:
1.
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2.
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3.
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( I literally wrote something AMAZING BUT FFS TUMBLR DELETED IT)
These scenes show him care and breaking. He let's his voice break while shoving snow into Todd's mouth. To clean Todd and to drown his thoughts aswell. He has to be there but God he breaks. Because he cared
He cared so damn much for Neil. And it was that stupid system that took him away. His inner self is caring, Poetic and confronting. But how?
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With all his emotions that are directed at the system regarding Neil's death, he does his first rebellion. And that not singing. The singing is only a recognition of the fact that evil Tom isn't at fault. Being in the front row and not singing? Fucking provoking.
So what's next? Now that he has found his last finding piece? The confronting kind? Not the part hiding behind humour? (If you notice he hasn't cracked a joke since Neil offed. Ofc bc the times are dark but he could've said one after the funeral. But he didn't, he was just angry)
Well....
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His last scene.
He knew what would happen once Cameron walked away. He knows his roommate too much. But the reason why he punched Cameron wasn't for the fact that they couldn't work it out on the remix but more for the fact that he saw Cameron as the system. As Cameron kept digging, Charlie thought that this was the way out. Every person who experienced grief knows it's all over the place and often not understandable. If I could explain it, I would say that he had the hope of starting the rebellion needed. But he couldn't.
He failed at confronting it to its most effective stage.
He managed to comfort his friends, he managed to change his mind. But sometimes confronting ends at the start.
But it was he who failed, not the mindset. It was the rest but most importantly todd who continued it...
It's sad to not hear anything after his expulsion but I think it would be even more heartbreaking. Charlie is a lot of things but the most important one is that he is a boy. Utterly experiencing things he shouldn't have. To think that he ended his time at Welton, disproving the thing he mostly cared for (which was attention to himself) just to find himself while so is...beautiful. He broke free and now has to be alone to find his future. This is both tragic and hope-fulfilling. Wherever he ended up, I hope Charlie learned to deal with Neil's death as well...
Or I'm delusional and he's just a 16-year-old boy without depth.
Again characters are always up for debate and everyone has their interpretation. I finally wrote down mine and think it's important to share. Do with it what you want but please remain polite. Except when you crack a joke
I want jokes 🔥
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kindaorangey · 3 months ago
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do you have thoughts about The Ark boys and ocd? absolutely no pressure to share if you don't want to but i reread IWBFT this year and recently realised i have ocd so would love to know what you think :))
yes i do! idk if you've already seen these posts i made about it, but i'll try not to repeat myself here in case u have seen them already lolol
the thing about OCD (or, just general obsessive-compulsive behaviour) is that it's profoundly isolating, especially before you know what the name even is for what you're going through - obsessive thoughts will make you believe you're broken and violent and evil (and therefore that that you shouldn't be allowed to be near other people) and compulsions have an internal logic to them that falls apart once you try to explain it out loud. it is a deeply stigmatised disorder because the symptoms in isolation are regarded with massive scepticism at best and outright disgust and fear at worst.
all of this to say, i think a common theme among the main characters in IWBFT is that they think they're fighting an inescapable battle that no-one can understand, and so they keep it inside rather than reaching out. it's especially true with jimmy and fereshteh, since we see their inner dialogue, but if you look at the way the others behave, they're all keeping stuff inside because they don't know where to begin with talking about it (rowan especially, emotionally repressed king) and... well, i think that theme lends itself nicely to understanding some of the ark boys' behaviour as obsessive-compulsive behaviour.
jimmy tries to explain his paranoia when prompted, and is met with explanations of why his thoughts are irrational - which is important to recognise, but doesn't actually stop his spirals, doesn't stop him from obsessively fantasizing about his own death or holding his knife for comfort. he's still fighting a battle he can't articulate, because he doesn't understand his own behaviour as obsessive-compulsive.
and i like to think of the three of them a few years after IWBFT, when they're all in therapy and they start to get an understanding of obsessions and compulsions. they all thought they were fighting a battle no-one could understand, when in reality, they were all going through much of the same thing, though their specific obsessions and compulsions might differ. <3
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would-you-punt-them · 1 year ago
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I don't know how you do it, but I haven't recognized any of these characters (except having a very vague idea of who William Afton is) and just looking at the pictures, I almost always decide to punt. Something about the pictures you choose (I think it's their typical facial expressions combined with the angle of their heads but idk) makes my go my foot is ready. Special shout outs go to the two falling anime girls, who were coming down at the most optimal punting trajectory possible, and the Kirby dude, who was soccerball shaped for my convenience. Also, turns out I can't bring myself to kick a cat, no matter how evil he(?) might be.
actually, the truth is i also don't recognise the vast majority of the characters you guys submit
honestly, sometimes i think you guys are speaking in tongues
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the thing is, even though i sometimes joke that i literally have no applicable skills other than tumblr polls, that's not entirely true
turns out, after 7 months of running @hot-take-tournament i have developed exactly one applicable skill
i've never once received a take on a fandom i'm familiar with, so when i make polls and puns and personalised yes/no responses i always do it from scratch
as a result, i've gained the ability to scour the internet for information on pretty much anything extremely quickly
and i am able to use that in real life, it genuinely really helps at college
to give you an idea of how fast i am, when i get a lot of punting submissions all at once, sometimes i like to set myself a time limit of 15 minutes and then see how many characters i can research and poll within that time
not to brag, but my current personal best is 16
that's a poll on a character i know nothing about, complete with a picture and popular fandom tags, queued every 52 seconds
so basically, i don't recognise the characters, but give me a dedicated half hour and i'll know all your blorbos better than you do
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tartarduck · 2 years ago
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words about tot chapter 9
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Gave myself a solid day to stew in my thoughts about ch9 and I just want to say that mihoyo is EVIL for timing it right before the anniversary. I don't know if I can be happy knowing Luke is suffering all alone in every conceivable universe other than his personal story/card timeline.
Point 1: How the chapter explored Luke's feelings of guilt for... Existing I guess?
I've been eagerly awaiting the reveal of Luke's survivor's guilt. The whole [wanting spirits to exist so he can at least apologise, or do SOMETHING, but knowing they don't] is such exquisite angst. I'm very happy they took the effort to write it in (though fortune tellers actually scare me in real life).
And now onto the related Point 2: Luke's feelings of guilt for literally everything else
I was reading through Luke's birthday greetings, and realised how often he calls himself greedy for literally wanting anything. God damn, SHE IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND IT'S NOT GREEDY OF YOU TO WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH HER --
That aside, it comes back to the theme of Luke Pearce's thought process, which in my brain goes a little something like this:
Good thing happens -> I do not deserve this
Bad thing happens -> It is completely my fault and no one else's
Which, might I add, vaguely reminded me of something from a lecture I forgot from my psych undergrad years. I'm worried for you, Luke. Please, Dr Yishmir, refer him to one of your colleagues for mental health.
In his personal 'route', he finally starts to come around with the idea that sometimes bad things... just happen and it's no one's fault (thank you, strategically placed rainbow in iridescent heartbeat). But in the main story? He's been feeling guilty ever since he saw MC after avoiding her for YEARS. There's no Aaron meddling with the two of them, or MC helping him clean his mess of a house to kick-start a card story. This is the man who hid in the attic after sending his confession after a YEAR of dates with MC -- the main story doesn't even give him a chance to start forgiving himself.
Basically, Luke Pearce is a mess in the main story, because everything that makes him un-messy happens by pure chance.
Point 3: Luke's black and white thinking of good and bad
One of the highlights of this chapter for me was Luke's anecdote about him faking a cold so MC would go out with her other friends and forget about him. Now, that's all well and good until he compares himself to the mum with Munchausen's syndrome, who is the closest thing we get to a 'villain' in this chapter. On top of his guilt, this whole I'm either a good or completely bad person mindset is really not doing favours for his mental health.
His anecdote also happens to be an interesting parallel to shape of you, because I remember Luke specifically wished to be forgotten in that card. He wants what's best for MC (because he thinks that he's taking everyone's love from her) but he also wants something for himself. And because he doesn't believe he's able to do both, but also because he isn't able to let go of his 'selfishness' sometimes, he thinks he's an awful person.
And now, to the last to do in my rant agenda.
Point 4: what happens in chapter 12. (Spoilers for CN server, but only about the Luke scene)
1. Ohmygod. He's going to run away. I can't see main story Luke NOT blaming himself for nearly hurting the MC. In whichever timeline, his priority is to keep her safe, and god, if he thinks he's a danger to her, the only way to keep her safe would be by disappearing again.
2. I'm going to read too much into this but MC trying to get Luke to recognise her while she's being pinned to the ground is such delectable angst. He's always worried that she'd forget about him -- whether it was the 8 years or literally just hanging out with other kids at school. But here she is, in a situation where he's essentially forgotten about her. The voice that my brain concocted up for MC was extra desperate in that scene.
Anyway, that's all I had to say about the recent main story developments in ToT. Keep the angst coming, writing staff. What a power move to send this out right before anniversary on BOTH servers. If there's anything I've taken away from this, it's that Luke stans are absolutely unhinged. Twitter circle people, I see you requesting more angst. How can we get even angstier than Luke nearly hurting MC while he's dressed in the outfit that he wears for his proposal card ??
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crownmemes · 6 months ago
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Fringe Sentences, Vol. 5
(Sentences from Fringe (2008-2013). Adjust phrasing where needed)
"God has a far more disturbed sense of humour than even I could have imagined."
"I've seen some pretty disturbing things in my time working with you and I think I've handled them pretty well, but this? I don't think I can do this."
"Are you sure you want to do this? Submit yourself to these experiments?"
"There are times when the only choices you have left are bad ones."
"You're trying to create a wormhole into another universe?"
"There has to be a line somewhere. There has to be a line we can't cross."
"Please. I need you not to doubt me."
"You're not my father, are you?"
"When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth."
"You know, this past year is the longest I've ever stayed in one place."
"I may not be the gumshoe you are, but I've got some skills!"
"I've been a little foggy as to your motives."
"Grief can drive people to extraordinary lengths."
"I need a corpse. Any corpse will do, but it shouldn't have been dead for more than two days."
"It's important to take control of one's life."
"What kind of doctor are you? You're not even trying!"
"You probably don't believe that love at first sight exists, but I assure you, it does."
"Why not bring a little life to the dead, I say!"
"It must be nice to know who you are - to know your place in the world."
"Don't you know? All good stories start with 'once upon a time', and they end with 'happily ever after'."
"What is it that makes you special?"
"I'm not hallucinating, and I'm not paranoid, and I'm not questioning my own sanity!"
"What if he won't forgive me?"
"I can't ask them to do something that I'm not willing to chance myself!"
"What I'm about to tell you is classified, but I think it's about time you knew what you were dealing with."
"You've been asleep for three days!"
"They have absolutely fabulous drugs here! I feel great!"
"I know what you did to me! I know that you cut out pieces of my brain!"
"When I'm nervous, I cook, and I've been making pies for over a week!"
"Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in one of those bad buddy cop movies."
"Your tie - I think you have a little bit of brain on it."
"You've forgotten what it's like to feel emotions!"
"I can't answer that. There is no answer. It's a mathematical question without a solution."
"If he has no pulse, then why is he still breathing?"
"Don't worry, I do some of my finest work self-medicated!"
"You're in over your head. You're not fully committed to this task, and because of that, you will fail."
"You can keep on telling yourself that you're fine, but you're not fine!"
"Nature doesn't recognise good and evil. Nature only recognises balance and imbalance."
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hermespie · 1 year ago
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Prompt: Kokichi felt dumbfounded, care for myself? This robot just knew him for what, weeks? Not even in months, and is now teaching him to care for himself?
Pairings: k1B0 X Kokichi ouma
A/N: I just wrote this for funsies again, cause I really love kiibouma and I just can't stop writing for them. Angst or not🤭 please do enjoy tho!
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" That's right, I'm the mastermind! "
This should do it.
This should do it right?
He stood in front of everyone, the grin in his face stays while everyone else frown in despair.
The truth that all of them had been waiting for was right in front of their eyes. The moment of silence where everyone tried to take in what he just said made him more excited. Just how he anticipated.
Proud of himself, he continued blabbering on how he had planned all of this from the very beginning,taking small glimpse of the crowd, trying to find any small details of clues the real mastermind might be giving.
They might've never thought this would ever gonna happen, the look on their face must be priceless. He thought to himself.
His vision shifts from one to the other, but it stayed on a certain someone.
The metallic body stood still, expression full of doubt and confusion, it's like he's trying to convince himself that this isn't happening. Maybe about the truth of the world outside of the killing game they hoped to escape to has actually been a disaster for decades. Or maybe about the truth of the mastermind that ouma unfolded itself.
It couldn't be the latter, ouma thought to himself. Shrugging his shoulders as he quickly shift his vision towards the others.
It's not like that robo-boy actually felt betrayed by him. He never promised anything from the beginning.
But why is there an annoying pit starting to grow inside of him?
Why does his heart aches while looking at that robot's face of disbelief?
Why does he feel like explaining everything to him and making him believe that this isn't who he is, and all of this is just a skit to save all of them?
Stop.
Ouma calmed himself down immediately. This skit is inevitable. It's what he needs to do to end this boring killing game. He's an actor in this lowly game and the show must go on.
And just when everyone is done with his BS speech, he left.
This should do it. Now the killing game is over because no one would have any motive for attempting murder anymore. Now that's out of our concern, the mastermind should've shown some signs by now-
"Ouma!"
A familiar voice interrupted kokichi's rail of thoughts as the voice called onto him abruptly.
It wasn't hard to recognise that voice when you've already heard from it for such a long time.
Kokichi simply stopped walking and stood still, with both of his hands hugging at the back of his head.
"what's the matter kii-boy? Don't tell me you didn't get what I meant earlier."
He turned around and locked eyes with that metallic figure standing in front of him, putting up a grin on his face, continuing the show.
"I'm the mastermind! And you know what you shouldn't do , now that you know whose the mastermind? Interact with them!"
He left that comment down and turned his head away, ready to continue advancing forward until kiibo sped up his motion, catching up to him, stopping him from doing so.
"Ouma. You're not the mastermind."
Funny.
"And what makes you think that?"
His tone turned a bit serious but was quickly shifted away when he put on his evil grin back.
"Could you please just look at me seriously for once?!"
Kiibo raised his voice, which is something unusual he would do. It frightened kokichi for a bit but intrigue wins over nevertheless. Kokichi's expression was immediately shifted back before kiibo could notice his surprised look. He doesn't want to surrender in this game of truth.
"I.. I really don't know why you're convincing everyone to think you're the mastermind. But knowing you, I'm sure you have your reasons. But do you ever think of the consequences that will lead to you if you do this?"
"Why-"
'Why do you care' was what kokichi was about to say but kiibo couldn't bother to let kokichi finish another one of his acts, one of his lies.
"Everyone would despise you! And even if in the end when the real mastermind reveals their identity, they wouldn't bother to apologise or to make amends for hurting you!"
So that's what he's worried about? About him being hated by the others? That's just funny honestly, cause kokichi really don't mind any of this at all.
Kokichi felt like laughing out loud, his grin grows even wider, almost letting out his laughter.
"Why can't you care for yourself more?!"
kiibo's robo-arms heavily rested onto his shoulders as he grips them tightly, slightly shaking kokichi, as if that could throw some sense in him.
Kokichi felt dumbfounded, care for myself? This robot just knew him for what, weeks? Not even in months, and is now teaching him to care for himself?
"You said that as if you meant that you care about me. Well, that's just funny! Seriously kii-boy, What do you even know about me?"
Kiibo was taken aback by his sudden commentary but quickly gained back his position.
"I don't need to know who you are to care for you."
"True, but we're in a killing game kii-boy. You can't apply that excuse in this situation"
"I-"
"Face it kii-boy. I don't know why you're out here yapping your points at me, but this is the truth and it will remain this way. "
He pushed kiibo's hands away from his shoulder and it lands back to the sides of his torso airily.
" I'm grateful that you tried to believe in me though! Too bad I'm not that much of a sweetheart you think I am ! Too-da-loo—!"
Kokichi said in a carefree tone as he quickly left the area, leaving kiibo alone, standings till at where he was before his vision left him.
God damn it..
Anger slowly started rising inside of him as he walked back to his dorm room. The way that robot looks at him, full of concern and.. care just plays with his temper.
I don't need to know who you are to care for you.
He groaned as kiibo's voice started flowing into his mind. Why? Why did he say that? Why did it actually feel like he cared for him?
He shouldn't be. Anyone shouldn't be.
He shut the dorm room harshly and immediately melted, leaning on the door.
Why is this so hard?
He hugged both of his knees, planting his face under, trying to get his mind out of anything about that conversation.
His hand slowly shifted towards his shoulders, the warmth of kiibo's hand was long gone. But somehow he could still feel the warm fuzzy feeling in his heart.
"That's disgusting"
Gripping onto his shoulder tightly, he pouted out words for no one to listen except himself.
Though he knows how much of a lie that was.
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gothyanki · 1 year ago
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I'm curious about how other githyanki Tav/Durge players rationalise Voss almost completely ignoring the PC in favour of Lae'zel when he visits camp. It's so funny to me, but also comes with a huge amount of characterisation/backstory potential?? Almost everything else in Act 1 is SUPER reactive to a githyanki PC (a lot of the crèche dialogue is different, right down to the most minor one-line NPCs), which makes it stand out even more. Even this conversation is quite reactive, with plenty of origin-specific lines - almost all of which Voss passes over to continue focusing on Lae'zel.
Sticking the rest of this behind a readmore because it's longer/mostly just me yakking about headcanons re: my own PC and Voss (+ some images):
Live reaction shot of Vin'ath after Voss names Lae'zel "Sister in Freedom" and says the two of them - just the two of them! - will be their people's light:
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♫ hello darkness my old friend ♫
Voss’ dismissal of Vin actually fits right in with the backstory I gave them - they fell out of the crèche system as a teenager after their capture + rescue by a fellow outsider from a society deemed "evil" by DnD rules + accidental partial cult deprogramming. That means they're 1. already on board the "fuck Vlaakith" train (though they'd never have dared to so much as fantasise about taking the fight to her - their childhood trauma is the one exception to their "run after it and whack it as hard as you can" approach to problems) and 2. in a complicated insider-outsider position with regards to githyanki society. Voss seems to see Lae'zel as a protégée - I think she reminds him of himself when he was young, and also of other highly talented/dedicated warriors who've served under him. Compared to her, Vin's just a bunch of confusing mixed social signals and ??? motives.
Vin'ath pretends they couldn't care less about this - Lae'zel's the one who can't stop talking about silver swords and red dragons! They let go of that desperate craving for a superior officer's approval a long time ago! - but they are
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I think they (unwisely) end up confronting him about what he thinks of them at some point in Baldur's Gate. Voss gives them a devastating "I don't think about you at all" kind of response, but he is ALSO
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because given what he wants to do, I think he'd be unwillingly intrigued by a very-young-from-his-perspective githyanki who's already thrown off the shackles of Vlaakith's rule/the crèche system (to some degree - more on that later!) The fact that they did it by accident, moreover, has to be borderline infuriating.
This is the point where I admit I haven't had enough uninterrupted playtime to get far with Act 3 yet (I have spoiled myself extensively via youtube videos, though), so I don't know how the scene where Voss gifts the silver sword goes for a githyanki Tav. If it's similar to the non-githyanki scene and Voss passes over them AGAIN to give the sword to Lae'zel, I'm going to howl with laughter. And Vin's going to have that long-awaited breakdown not react at ALL and be FINE because they DON'T CARE. They DON'T CARE AT ALL that this celebrated hero of their people they grew up hearing stories about is standing right there not recognising their efforts. Kith'rak WHO???? He's not even that cool in person and they are DEFINITELY not flashing back to the starry-eyed adolescent crush they had on him. Shuuuut uuuuup.
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bellafemme · 2 years ago
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The letter Sinead wrote to Miley Cyrus.
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'Dear Miley,
I wasn't going to write this letter, but today i've been dodging phone calls from various newspapers who wished me to remark upon your having said in Rolling Stone your Wrecking Ball video was designed to be similar to the one for Nothing Compares … So this is what I need to say … And it is said in the spirit of motherliness and with love.
I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way 'cool' to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos. It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether its the music business or yourself doing the pimping.
Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way an empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you) more for your xesual appeal than your obvious talent.I am happy to hear I am somewhat of a role model for you and I hope that because of that you will pay close attention to what I am telling you.
The music business doesn't give a s**t about you, or any of us. They will prostitute you for all you are worth, and cleverly make you think its what YOU wanted … and when you end up in rehab as a result of being prostituted, 'they' will be sunning themselves on their yachts in Antigua, which they bought by selling your body and you will find yourself very alone.
None of the men ogling you give a s**t about you either, do not be fooled. Many's the woman mistook lust for love. If they want you xesually that doesn't mean they give a f**k about you. All the more true when you unwittingly give the impression you don't give much of a f**k about yourself. And when you employ people who give the impression they don't give much of a fµck about you either. No one who cares about you could support your being pimped … and that includes you yourself.
Yes, I'm suggesting you don't care for yourself. That has to change. You ought be protected as a precious young lady by anyone in your employ and anyone around you, including you. This is a dangerous world. We don't encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals and less than animals, a distressing majority of whom work in the music industry and it's associated media.
You are worth more than your body or your xesual appeal. The world of showbiz doesn't see things that way, they like things to be seen the other way, whether they are magazines who want you on their cover, or whatever … Don't be under any illusions … ALL of them want you because they're making money off your youth and your beauty … which they could not do except for the fact your youth makes you blind to the evils of show business. If you have an innocent heart you can't recognise those who do not.
I repeat, you have enough talent that you don't need to let the music business make a prostitute of you. You shouldn't let them make a fool of you either. Don't think for a moment that any of them give a flying f**k about you. They're there for the money… we're there for the music. It has always been that way and it will always be that way. The sooner a young lady gets to know that, the sooner she can be REALLY in control.
You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age … which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age.
Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn't even ask the question … I've been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. Its really not at all cool. And its sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn't for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.
As for the shedding of the Hannah Montana image … whoever is telling you getting naked is the way to do that does absolutely NOT respect your talent, or you as a young lady. Your records are good enough for you not to need any shedding of Hannah Montana. She's waaaaaaay gone by now … Not because you got naked but because you make great records.
Whether we like it or not, us females in the industry are role models and as such we have to be extremely careful what messages we send to other women. The message you keep sending is that its somehow cool to be prostituted … its so not cool Miley … its dangerous. Women are to be valued for so much more than their sexuality. We aren't merely objects of desire. I would be encouraging you to send healthier messages to your peers … that they and you are worth more than what is currently going on in your career. Kindly fire any motherf****r who hasn't expressed alarm, because they don't care about you.'
She warned Miley and she warned the world about priests raping children. Nobody took her seriously.
Rest In Peace. 🌹
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samobservessonic · 1 year ago
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Another tale from Mark Millar, this time opening with Tails coming across “Sonic trapped in a TV” and being tricked into letting him loose. Now, I’ve not read this story myself, but I immediately recognised that first image of whoever this fake Sonic is from around tumblr, so I assume it must be a somewhat decently-known story and therefore I’m looking forward to getting into it
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One thing I like here is that they show the small animals working together to create a hideout free from Robotnik. It’s already been established that Sonic has a base somewhere, but seeing the others making one has me once again going “Ooh are we getting closer to the Freedom Fighters being established??” Anyway, as you can probably guess, fake Sonic turns up and smashes their work to the ground
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My obligatory “Look, it’s Sally!” part. They even directly call her Sally here. She’s helping to put out the forest fire started by the fake Sonic
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As you can probably imagine, the (somewhat wall-eyed) real Sonic shows up to put a stop to his name being tarnished. I mean, the easy joke to make here would be that StC Sonic is kind of an asshole anyway, but at least his actions are always good, even if his words aren’t. However, he’s not fast enough to stop the animal folk believing that he was the one who did the damage
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Hey look, StC also did the “Sally banishing Sonic due to a misunderstanding” thing years before Archie did as well lol
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…But that’s also dealt with on the same page, when the fake Sonic shows up. I can’t help but wonder how people would’ve reacted if that one plot in Archie had resolved with Sally going “Apology’s in the post, Sonic”. Actually, maybe they should’ve resolved The Slap by having Sally say that, too. Although having brought up The Slap, I'm honour-bound to add that everyone needs to get off Jon Gray’s case about The Slap, but I’m far from the first person to say that
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Tails has figured out a way to get rid of this guy, by trapping him back in the TV. At which point, we get an explanation as to what this fake is - an Extra Life! Once again, StC taking something from the early games and putting a unique spin on it. In this universe, back when he was good, Dr. Kintobor made the power-ups to help Sonic. Kintobor probably didn’t intend for the extra lives to be sentient or to become resentful, though Perhaps there’s a peaceful way they can come to an understanding abou-
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-Nope! Punt him into space!
And that’s the end of that! I looked it up because I was curious, but this is the only appearance of Extra Life in the series and I think that’s kind of a missed opportunity. Evil Sonic clones are hardly a rare concept in this franchise, though I think this might’ve been one of the first, at least outside of the games. But I’ve never seen it handled in this way before. It brings up questions about if there are lots of other Extra Lives, who all also have sentience, or if Extra Life was the only on in the StC world and he’s now been effectively dealt with His situation was incredibly fucked up and that had room to be explored, but because he was generically evil and destructive, the story rooted for getting rid of him in the fastest way possible. Given all the dimension and space-exploring that happens in StC later, there would’ve been loads of chances to revisit this early concept if they’d wanted to, but alas, it wasn’t to be
Needless to say, I really enjoyed this one and understand why it’s so popular! Admittedly, the last few issues have been kind of coasting for me - not bad per say, but also not grabbing my attention - but this one really was a lot of fun. And Sally got to be in it a lot, which I always like
My only gripe was that it seemed like they were setting Tails up to have a bigger role and I hoped he might finally be getting a chance to shine, but that wasn’t how it panned out this time. I suppose Tails has a long career of chasing Sonic’s shadow ahead of him in StC, but I can't help but want the kid to catch a break soon
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theyjustadmitthathuh · 6 days ago
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(prefacing this by saying that i am not, in any way, being passive aggressive /srs)
hello hello! don't mind me, just your friendly neighbourhood anon here to remind you that assuming that men and boys are inherently born to do evil and that women and girls are inherently born to do good is a stereotype that has been used to oppress women into cleaning up after men's messes for centuries
it also implies that men are inherently incapable of change, and that means that all the fighting will just have been for naught since they will just keep being evil monsters forever, and whatever we do can't change that.
also, please keep in mind that this argument (man bad and evil; woman good and nice), historically, has been used against the feminist movement, not for it.
you (radfems) say that trans women (and please keep reading what i have to say before you get sent into a fit of rage and start yelling every insult under the sun at me ((who, by the way, is a cisgender woman)) for talking about trans women) push gender stereotypes onto cis women by conforming to societal gender norms, but you may not realise that you are (possibly without meaning to) doing the exact same thing by perpetrating that ideology that "woman = inherently good, man = inherently evil", which is historically an argument used only by those who looked to undermine women's autonomy and ability to change the system of oppression that has and continues to cause them harm.
ok, wall of text over! sorry for rambling on for so long, but i just felt the need to put this out there, because i truly do believe that your heart is in the right place, but to create meaningful change in the world we have to recognise that, although we thought something was true and good, sometimes we make mistakes, and that's okay! mistakes don't dictate our value!
ok, now i'm really done rambling! i'm not really going anywhere with this, but just thought i'd share! /gen
have a nice day/afternoon/night/whatever time of day it is where you are, and remember to drink water! <3
Have you ever actually read anything I’ve posted about gender, sex, and trans identities, or did you just find a radfem with anon on and send the message you really wanted to send to a different woman?
Anyway, this right here is what I meant when I said that posting about women’s rights or abortion rights or whatever will have people asking you if you’ve ever considering not wanting to kill all trans women and assuming you do. I have never once said that all men are inherently evil. I have on several occasions clarified that I dont believe that. I have never started randomly yelling insults at people for mentioning trans women or worked myself into fits of rage thinking of them, and have in fact told people that I do not support those who hurl insults at all trans people or perpetuate transphobia. And yet, my posts about women’s rights in the context of my belief that female is a classification of sexual reproductive roles and nothing more leads me to receive asks from the friendly neighborhood anon asking me if I’ve ever considered not believing something that I dont believe and have never claimed to believe.
Now I could do like one person suggested, I could delete this ask and block the anon who sent it, but I think that would just perpetuate the belief that I do believe these things, even though I have explicitly stated that I dont agree with anything presented here more than once. It would at least perpetuate that belief with the anon who sent this message and now, I assume, checks my blog for an answer. I assume nonny doesnt scroll to the other posts where I’ve answered these questions, so this becomes my one chance to convince someone that believing sex is the role someone would play in sexual reproduction and also the basis for women’s oppression doesnt automatically come with the “kill all trans women” add-on.
Now to actually answer your completely unique and not at all passive agressive question. ;-)
I do not assume men are inherently evil and women are inherently good. I know that women and girls have the same exact capacity for hurting others as men and boys do. The question, then, would be why do men and boys hurt other people at a higher rate since we all have the same capacity for harm?
Because they have the social power to do so. Because in my country, 80% of judges are men. The majority of police officers are men. The majority of business owners are men. The majority of people who hold any kind of tangible power in this world are men. And men are sexist. A by-product of men’s sexism is that a man will side with another man, even if other class interactions would usually prevent it, if a women is the other choice. As a result, women often receive more jail time and higher fines for the same crimes. Where a man has a career and a future that would be ruined over just a little lashing out, judges see women who harm others as “failed mothers” and “failed caretakers” and hold them with contempt and disgust, many also punishing these women more strictly due to an incorrect belief that women are given lesser sentences. You’re right about even the idea that men=evil woman=good feeds into this self-fulfilling system that makes people in positions of power see harmful men as average and harmful women as uniquely evil.
So if I dont believe that testicles make a person evil, and I believe that social factors play into this much more than any type of “nature” argument, then where do trans women come in?
The average trans women is not perceived as female. The average trans woman is perceived as a feminine man. Even if a trans women passes in every way, in most of these situations even just being “out” as trans (such as in the way you would have to be in front of a judge or in a doctor’s office, official places where tour name and social matter) is enough to be perceived as a man by other males. This means that when people in positions of power, namely men, go to make their decisions about who to promote or what sentence to pass, the judge is not seeing two women in front of him. The boss is not considering two women in his head. The doctor is not treat two different women. He is seeing a woman and an effeminate man. And men side with men, even if they hate them. They have this weird thing called class consciousness, and they know siding with a man they hate over a woman they tolerate or even like will result in more male supremacy, something 99.9% of males fights for, and every male who has never consciously picked a side will always pick the side that boasts his supremacy.
I think the second part of your question kinda fell apart due to the fact I dont believe men are inherently evil nor women inherently good, but I will close with the fact that most radfems dont believe that inherently evil stuff, to the point that a separate community has been made (called blackpilled/blackpilledradfems) and repeatedly hounded out of our spaces. If you’d like to pose this question to a blackpilled radfem, I would like to hear the answer you’d get, but I and the spaces I occupy are generally the wrong area for this discussion.
Feel free to send any more questions you have, and I hope this wall of text isnt too much for you XD
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doing-something-unholy · 2 years ago
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Father's Dream
Father Adrian has had some... interesting dreams here lately. But what could possibly be causing them?
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CW // dubcon, cnc, monsterfucking, body horror, unreality? 
I am alone in the nave, tidying up after evening mass. The altar servers were already sent home, my vestments put away, and straightening up the last few misplaced hymnal books meant that I could leave too. But, not yet.
The atmosphere in the church at dusk is so calm and quiet, I take a few moments to breathe it in. The last rays of sunset set the stained glass windows alight, color beaming across the faint trails of incense smoke still drifting through the air. This church is my sanctuary, my second home, my passion project. One would hardly recognise it from the near-ruin it used to be in, and I couldn’t be more proud of the way this parish came together to restore it. I’ve spent so long in this building, so much of myself is poured into it: blood, sweat, and tears into everything here. It’s as close as I’ll ever come to Heaven on Earth, and I am grateful for the respite from the noise in my head within these walls. My soft footsteps are the only thing that breaks the silence as I walk back to the altar.
I place a reverent hand on the very edge, leaning down to place a soft, barely-there kiss to the cold stone before kneeling on the steps in front of it. I fold my hands together, resting on the edge of the altar, my head bowed between my arms. It's not the most comfortable spot or position to pray, but it feels apt. Maybe the strain in my muscles and the ache in my knees will keep any other thoughts out of my head. 
Which I can avoid no longer. Now that the church is empty, and I’m unlikely to be disturbed, I want to talk with Him.
“Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.”
My voice is barely a whisper, but it echoes off every wall and the effect is chilling: a whole choir of voices surrounding me, and I can only hope it's the voices of Saints and Angels, and not… well…
“Please, Oh Lord, lead me not into temptation. You know the strength of my spirit and I trust You not to test me to destruction, but… Please, I- I can't sleep. Deliver me from these… nightmares. Protect me from the demon that hides in my dreams, Lord. I submit to Your Glory and accept that I need Your divine intervention.”
My own whispers twist and echo back at me, like an audience discussing my ‘performance.’ 
I wish they were nightmares.
I wish I couldn’t say that for a brief moment, every morning I wake after one of those beau- Damned dreams that it is the most relaxed I’ve ever been. I wish I didn’t have to wake up loose-limbed and at-peace and smiling only to have it crash down around me as I remember who I’m supposed to be.
I wish I could say that I hated those dreams.
But even now, hazy images flicker through my mind, and I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks. And certainly nothing else rising. The guilt at thinking these things in a church, in my church, is almost too much. I’ve been staying up later and later to avoid sleeping, but someone is going to notice the growing bags under my eyes eventually. But mostly it’s the toll the stress has been taking on me. I’ve always been an anxious person, but I didn’t used to jump when parishioners knocked on my door. 
The shame is killing me, the eyes of God and His angels stare into me like red-hot brands, seeing the stain upon my soul. Hopefully He also sees how desperate I am for this to end, and I will be spared.
I stay in place for a long moment, willing the ache in my body to clear my head. It’s not as straining as I thought to sit like this, so I can stand to stay here as long as it takes to replace the thoughts in my head with the soreness of my knees. The church is so still and quiet, my eyes fall shut in silent prayer, breathing deeply and slowly. I don’t know how long I stay there, surrendered to the Lord.
I can hardly bear looking up toward the crucifix hanging on the back wall of the sanctuary. It's no sooner that I make eye contact with Christ that the hair on the back of my neck stands up.
I don't know how I know, but something in the air has shifted. I can't seem to move. Someone- no, something is behind me.
There's a faint whisper in my ear.
"Father…"
I turn suddenly, plastering myself against the altar, heart racing. There's no one there.
Obviously, I am being ridiculous, there can’t possibly be anyone there. There's no reason my heart should be leaping into my throat. Just an overactive imagination, I am jumping at nothing, again.
I'm glad I decided to opt for a clerical suit today instead of the cassock, I'd have made a fool of myself tripping over the skirts. I pick myself up off the step, embarrassed and ready to spend another sleepless night in my office, but I hardly get upright again when I can see movement towards the front door of the church.
The votive candles flicker, the flames guttering. They shouldn't be, there's no wind in here. My stomach drops when they go out entirely, the dim red glow from the windows and the few candles left on the altar behind me are the only lights in the church now.
For a long, tense moment, nothing happens and I think I might be able to just leave when there's a soft purring growl from behind me. 
Every muscle in my body tenses. 
I can't move, even when I can hear something huge shift its weight and the breath leaves my lungs when a large clawed hand lands softly on the back of my neck. The claws gently scrape my scalp as it drags its hand up through my hair. I shiver at the feeling of it, goosebumps breaking out on my arms. 
The hand abruptly grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls my head back, making me gasp and look up to see an inhuman face peering down at me. 
A wicked grin reveals sharp teeth in it's short muzzle, two pairs of bright mischievous eyes staring down at me from under elegantly arched horns. The same gilded eyes that have haunted my wet dreams nightmares for weeks now. It must see the horrified recognition on my face, because it laughs, a rumbling chuckle that I'm mortified to realize makes my pulse pick up for the wrong reasons. 
“We finally meet face to face, Father, and you look so scared? You never seemed so off-put before.” It’s voice is a seductive purr, and it goes through me like fire. 
“L-let go of me. I c-command you to let go of me,” My voice comes out so much weaker than I hoped, “In- In nomine Pat– mmpph!”
A hand slaps down against my mouth, cutting me off. 
“Oh, don’t be like that, priest. Let me have my fun first.” There’s a grin in its voice as it watches me struggle to pull its hand away and wiggle out of its grasp. The grip in my hair slowly tightens until it hurts, making me cry out beneath the hand on my mouth. It’s only when I go limp, stop fighting that they- it, loosens up.
“What a quick learner. Good boy.” It leans down and whispers the last two words into my ear, and the effect is immediate and devastating. I can feel the pull of arousal in my gut, and goosebumps down my arms. It just laughs above me, this close to it I can feel its chest rumble.
“There we go, just like in your delicious dreams.” The hand comes away from my mouth, but before I can say anything it wraps around my throat instead. My breath catches as it puts just the slightest pressure on my neck, the claws little pin-pricks against the skin.
“Are you going to be a good boy for me, Father? This doesn't have to be so difficult, sweetheart…” Its voice vibrates against my ear and I can’t suppress a shiver. 
“No… p-please…” I feel pathetic for begging a demon to spare me, but there’s nothing else I can do. I don’t want this, I can’t want this, I can’t convince myself I don’t want this let alone convince them. 
It still has one hand in my hair and the other wrapped around my neck, and I yelp in surprise when I feel two more land on my waist and glide up and around to my chest. I can feel the thing smile against the side of my face, amused by my every reaction.
The hands pull until my back hits the altar, my head bracketed by the monster’s knees, and it’s only then I realize it has the audacity to sit, kneeling, on the altar. I’m so stunned and instantly angry I forget what vulnerable position my throat is in.
“How dare you desecrate my church, the very altar, you foul monster–” 
The grip on me tightens in an instant, claws pressing into but not breaking the skin of my neck and my hair nearly being ripped out. I can’t stop a pained whine from pouring out of me, I can’t even move my hands to try to pull away, the other two arms holding them down by my sides. 
There's a low, menacing growl behind me, and their voice is rough and dark when they speak, a dangerous edge to it.
“I strongly recommend you shut your mouth, Father. I don’t think you’re in any position to be casting stones about desecrating a church.” They finally loosen their grip on my hair just enough that my scalp isn’t screaming in pain, but I still can’t move my head. The grip on my arms shifts, they catch both of my wrists behind my back and their newly freed hand presses softly against my stomach and slowly drifts downward. I nearly sob when their hand closes around my clothed erection, palming me through the cassock. 
“What were you saying about desecration, Father? Dirty little priest, are you hard for this ‘foul monster’?” They move their hand slowly along my trapped length, the friction is maddening even though layers of fabric. I can’t speak, just taking shuddering breaths and praying this is over soon. 
“You were never this shy in your other dreams, Father. Nothing to say to me now? Do you want me to keep hurting you, you masochist?”
“No! Please, no. Stop touching me…”
“I’d probably be more convinced by that pathetic attempt at getting me to stop if your cock didn’t throb under my hand when I said that. I can read your desires like an open book, Father. Give in to me and I’ll fulfill every single naughty thing you’ve ever thought about late at night with your hand under those robes.”
It’s getting hard to think about anything other than how good their hand feels. I have to focus to keep from rutting my hips forward into their agonizingly slow rubbing. I must have taken too long to answer, because the next thing I know I’m being lifted into the air and pulled back onto their lap. My body is arranged how they want me, my legs spread wide outside of their thighs and my hands trapped between my back and their chest. 
"N- no, I can't- I won't! Let go of me!"
I can feel the laugh rumbling out of their chest, their hands holding me close to their body- oh God, they're almost twice my size. 
"Oh don't worry Father, I know you can't. You're not allowed to, are you? But that doesn't mean you don't want it." 
Their lower hands drift downward, broad palms flat against my thighs. They squeeze my thighs at the same time a hand on my chest finds my nipple and starts rubbing it through my clothes. I bite my lip to keep from making any noise, but the demon won't have that. There's a soft rumbling growl next to my ear and they start palming me through the cassock again, slow but firm. 
"I'll take care of you, better than God ever will. Just give in and submit."
It's torture, I can't stop the shudder that rips through me and the gasp from my mouth. My thighs are tight with the effort of not rolling my hips into the touch. The incense smoke is heavy in the air, the heady scent making my head spin. It's getting harder and harder to stifle my reactions, to not give this monster the satisfaction of watching me crumble at their every touch.
The other hand slips behind me, groping my ass before lifting my cassock and suddenly I can feel short soft fur against the back of my bare thighs. 
Wait- what happened to my clothes, this isn't what I was wearing- 
Their hands move over me, adjusting my positioning, and I can feel- oh God, no-
They laugh when they feel my weak struggling against their grip, all it does is grind my ass against their cock, making the both of us moan.
"I'll give you what you need, Father, what you've wanted for so long. I won't hurt you anymore than you want to be hurt." 
Their cock rests against my entrance and with a shocked groan I can feel myself open for them, suddenly dripping wet like a cunt. Then it's pressing inside me and my mouth falls open at the feeling of being stretched. The demon presses in so slowly I can feel every inch of their thick cock spearing me open. They moan in delight, a purr rumbling up from their chest when they're pressed fully inside me. I can't do anything but hang limp in their grasp, panting heavily.
I can’t move or think, consumed by the feeling of the massive cock stretching me out. Mercifully they haven't moved yet, just gently arranging me to sit comfortably in their lap and caressing my thigh and chest. I can feel their smug purring through my back, their nose nuzzling through my hair and along the back of my neck. A forked tongue laves over the back of my neck, I break out in goosebumps as they slowly move down one side of my neck, licking and kissing. I pull my head away, refusing to allow the display of affection from this… thing. I can feel it’s disapproval, it’s lip curling in a silent snarl next to my face.
“Oh Father, would you rather I not kiss you? I thought you would appreciate a little romance, but you really do just want me to treat you like a cheap whore, don’t you?” Their voice has a dangerous edge to it, are they genuinely upset by my rejection?
“We’ll just get on with it then,” they purr into my ear as their hands move my body where they want it. 
A hand on my lower back and another on my throat push and pull in tandem to force me to bend in an arch, the movement rocking my hips over the cock inside me and sending sparks up my spine. The demon uses its new leverage to pull almost all the way out, and it pushes back in just as slow as the first time, letting me feel how much my body has to stretch around. I can’t let it hear me, I refuse to humiliate myself further, so I press my lips together to keep my mouth shut. Each slow thrust makes me shake and my breath comes heavy through my nose, but I can’t make any noise-
The demon pulls me back onto its cock with a hand on my hip and the change in angle makes the next thrust drag across something inside me that makes me see stars. I forget entirely where I am and what I’m doing, my mouth flies open with a shameless moan. Instantly my face is on fire, but I don’t have time to think about my shame because the demon’s thrusts speed up and start targeting that exact spot. Each one lights me up, driving all other thoughts out. I’m distantly aware of the pitiful little noises I keep making, but I can’t do anything other than hang on for the ride. It’s nothing like I’ve ever felt before, being stretched out and fucked mercilessly and each thrust hitting something incredible inside me… it’s almost too much to handle.
“There we go, that’s what you needed, isn’t it, Father?” The monster’s head rests on my shoulder, speaking into my ear. I can’t answer anymore, I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams, the intense sensation and incense smoke have me so dizzy. Is the room really spinning? It shouldn’t be, I know it can’t actually be. There shouldn’t be this much smoke in the air, mass ended ages ago… The whole sanctuary looks unfamiliar, the altar and nave warped together into one massive alcove with velvet curtains and gilded candelabras and enormous stained glass windows that bathe the both of us in blood-red light. The architecture in the room pulses like a heartbeat- in time with my heartbeat, like the ornate vaulted ceiling and pillars and carvings can’t decide what they're supposed to look like. Or maybe it’s me, my vision swimming as I lose focus on reality itself.
Looking up isn’t any better, the monster behind me seems to have changed too. Shadowed shapes flutter above us, I almost think they’re wings until it clicks into place- hands. Dozens and dozens of shadowy arms pour out of their back in the shape of wings. A tarnished, cracked ring hovers above the back of their head, spikes emanating from it at regular intervals as it spins lazily. I can’t look at any of it for too long, my eyes refuse to focus and slide off like water off a duck, leaving motion-trail after-images in my mind. 
I close my eyes to avoid the worst of it, whining and laying my head back on the soft fur behind me. One of my hands finds a horn above me and I hang on just to have something to anchor myself to.
My hips move on their own now, meeting each thrust from the demon. A coil tightens in my stomach, something building to a knife’s edge inside me. It doesn’t even occur to me to stop, solely focused on chasing that pleasure. Then that rumbling laugh comes again in my ear, and I remember where I am all at once with a keening whine. I still can’t stop myself from rocking backwards onto the thick cock, but now there’s a white-hot streak of shame burning in me, and I’m horrified to realize that it makes the arousal and lust burn hotter, too.
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“You’re so close, aren’t you, Father? Ready to cum for me?” The demon taunts. Their voice sharpens suddenly, their hand tightening around my throat, “Don’t you fucking dare. Not until you admit how much you love this, how good it makes you feel. Give in and say ‘yes’ to me, Father.”
I'm too breathless to speak, just a keening whine escaping me.
"No, please… I can't…"
I can't think, I can hardly breathe, too dizzy and overwhelmed to focus on fighting back or arguing. And the demon knows it, their voice a seductive purr in my ear.
"Don't be so difficult. You want this, Father."
"N-no, no…"
A hand creeps around to palm my cock through the cassock, I jerk in their grasp and sob at the pleasure of it.
"There, is that better? Say yes, sweetheart."
I can't- I can't move my mouth around the words anymore, oh God-
"Father…"
Please, I can't- I won't- I shouldn't…
"Father?"
Another pitiful whine, I can feel my resolve slipping.
"Father, are you alright?"
Oh God… y-
"Father!"
There's a hand on my shoulder, shaking me awake. My heart lurches in my chest, I jerk awake so suddenly I nearly jump off the floor.
I'm laying on the step in front of the altar, heart hammering and a concerned altar server hovering over me. Sunrise weakly peeks through the windows. The nave is as it was, no warped architecture or demonic influence.
"Father? Are you okay?"
"...No, I'm sorry, I… must have fallen asleep here last night. I haven't been sleeping well."
Every movement aches, my entire body is stiff and sore, and no wonder if I spent all night on the steps. I pull myself upright, wincing in horror at the warm, wet feeling across the front of my pants, thankful they're dark enough to hide the stain.
The altar server just stares at me, I can’t bear to meet their eyes and see the pity there.
They insist on canceling Mass to 'let me rest,' concerned I may be sick. I'm going to let them believe that, too exhausted and ashamed to argue. I find myself back in the rectory in a daze, re-dressed in casual clothes and dreading the heaviness I can feel pulling at my eyelids. 
I put myself to bed in a haze, rosary wrapped around my wrist and clutching my bible to my chest like a shield. I intended to read it, but I no longer have the energy for it, already drifting off despite my best efforts not to. 
I pray I can rest, I pray the Lord will shelter me, that I may sleep in His peace. 
Amen…
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shionshot · 1 year ago
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Roddacember2023 Day10∶Epic
What makes ‘‘His name was Walter’’ unusual among Emily Rodda's stories is that it is very realistic.
Not only is this story set in reality, but it is also very serious and harsh.
Fantasy heroes triumph and are recognised for their achievements and return triumphantly to their homeland.Their adventures are told epically among the people in their world.And I, too, like and want such glamorous tales of success in fictional worlds.
But the reality is that some people not only never achieve any success, but also lose all their battles, experience few spectacular periods in their lives and die without anyone taking a particularly strong interest in them.
In worse cases, some people are not understood and despised by others throughout their lives and continue to be despised even after death.
Even if this is not the case, few people win all battles and continue to be successful, always outperforming others.If you can live a long and peaceful life, even if it is mediocre, you can say that you are successful.
Walter's good character meant that he was not plagued by relationship problems during his lifetime, but after his death it was terrible.
There is a cruel side to the world, and more often than not, a person's humanity is not itself evaluated, but in fact, their humanity is judged by their position and title.
Now that I can never call myself a child, I still think that reality is like that.It is not that I am being pessimistic, it is just a fact that such situations are common, including mine.
In that respect, this story is very realistic.
Whenever I've read Emily Rodda's books, I've always thought she was a writer whose fantasies were so off-the-chart that they could never be copied by anyone else.But when I read ‘‘His name was Walter’’, I felt again that she is far from a dreamer.
Not only does she depict the darkness and evil of the human heart, but she is also well aware of the harshness of life and human heartlessness that is so common in the world, although not so terrible evil.
Indeed, the fantasy creatures and fascinating magical items that she has created have a strong power of imagination that is wonderfully unique to her.
However, when it comes to many other aspects of the characters, story line and world setting, the main feature is rather the attitude of looking straight at severe and harsh events, which can be seen in works such as ‘‘His Name was Walter’’.
Reality is more complex than the stories, but the fantasy in the stories is never an utopia.
People who, through no fault of their own, have had their families and homelands inexcusably destroyed, or who have been cheated or betrayed, exist even in fictional fantasy worlds.
Thus, the opposites of the fantastical fantasy world and the severe, realistic one make it seem as if things that do not originally exist are possible.
But I think most of us in real life are not able to fend off all enemies like fantasy heroes.You and I, who are not fantasy heroes, do not have a universal belt or a sachet full of magic tools.
So what if I, what if you, like Walter, are in a position where you have nothing and cannot defeat evil?
What if you are betrayed and destroyed and there is nothing you can do about it?
Then you have to accept such a reality.Like Walter.
It is not about giving up, but about the soul being free, like a sparrow that leaves its prison and flies free.Because instead of stopping to lament the deeds of others who don't do what you want or a fate you can't change, you have to accept the life you have been given and do what you can do for yourself.
It is up to us to decide whether we consider our lives to be a story of heroes or a boring side story.As long as we stand by our convictions, what a person is born with will not be lacking or undermined by other people's evaluations.
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katyspersonal · 1 year ago
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Wait why do you mean Asthon (your vicar oc) is cut content?! Bro is real? Like really real?! Wait you got me curious. (or is it just about the fact that we don't know in detail the other vicars? I personally headcanon the woman praying in the grand cathedral of the nightmare as (one) the Vicar between Laurence and Amelia)
Argh, well, it is complicated! Yes, he is very OC-ish, but the thing is, this name WAS featured in cut content:
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( x )
Basically, at some point, the names were switched, and Willem was called Laurence, the scholar that detracted from him was called Ashton, when actual Willem was also 'husk of Micolash', when there was also another face featured, called Herbert (Norbert in English)! Like, I think you know most of the cut content by now, but yeah, some names are obscure.
(It is also this same site in which I've learned that Norbert's name was also mistranslated! ヘルベルト is 'Heruberuto', and Lance McDolands also noticed that before in this ( x ) Tweet!)
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You might recognise the first dialogue, too! Micolash has some voice files for cut dialogue ( x ), it was a little mistranslated, hence I am using this Japanese site, but the gist is still here!
So, yeah... Ashton and Herbert are the only names mentioned across the cut content that appear to be same/close in status to what Laurence and Emilia are! That's why I just took what I could, and in my thing there were four Healing Church heads in total; Laurence, Ashton, Herbert and Emilia, in this order! And each would bring something different during their era. In fact, I did want to make a line-up explaining who did what - whereas Laurence is self-explanatory, it is worth to mention how Healing Church was living after Laurence became a beast. But like, I first want to finalize the DRIP designs for them all, and I can't even get past Laurence's one already, because I am always distracted/working/sick/dead/etc fdsjhfh
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Like, yeah, basically they're 'OCs with a prompt', since I had to design and write literally everything about them, but I still consider them to be revived cut content, because I hate giving myself any credit. xd
Fun fact! Ashton can also be a female name! I really wish I learned of it before I already wrote him as a male character, because we do need more nasty, evil women. But I tend to be a little rigid when I've already written a character in a certain way. Not gonna lie though, I often consider retconing him as a female character, because explain me how, HOW you can have """too many""" female villains? For now though he just really loves feminine things. Same as Damian. Or Micolash. Or Valtr. Or Ludwig. ...damn, I like slapping feminine aesthetic like FLEX APE too much, even where it doesn't quite fit. MOTHER OF MERGO, I AM-
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(It's just an inside joke. It's funny because Gehrman would've dressed every hunter into a pretty dress if he could. xd)
But yeah, basically, I took what I could from the cut content, and tried to base my ideas on what it gave us. So, if Ashton used to be someone under Laurence - then that should be the dynamic in my thing too! So, underling of him in Healing Church, and the next vicar. Herbert was also mentioned to have been a previous leader of the Church, so that was saved too!
Fun fact - because Emilia used to be named Laura in cut content, I also have a secret 5th Vicar that went unused, with Laura being Herbert's daughter that didn't get to live to be the next Vicar. Well, TECHNICALLY, she is still alive! Remember that big Celestial Emissary in orphanage, who acts like the 'leader', and also, interesingly, drops Communion rune? I headcanon that the emissaries in that Orphanage are children that were taught to Think With Cosmos by the Choir, and Laura used to be their overseer while Herbert was at the position and she had not too much to do. But more or less, she refused to abandon the children when Croir's base crumbled the hell out, and sort of ascended with them. In either case, this is not quite Laura anymore.. But, after Orphanage got nuked, Herbert was the one to take in orphans that he could take and raise them within the walls of the Healing Church! Like I mentioned, Adella was one of kids (well, teens) he basically adopted. But she had the biggest adopted daughter energy to him, hence she became a successor.
Ashton, though? Honestly, he started and is still going as my "punching bag" djfdshfd I did not want to use Laurence as obligatory 'evil cleric' at the time, since he had too much tragedy potential, and too much complexity. But yes, Ashton is more or less the combination of some traits I just looooooove. -_- Self-projecting, bullying people for what he himself has, provoking someone to feel a certain way and then blaming their reaction as them being "insane" or "irrational", fuckin'... flirting with someone and when they start returning the h0rny, blaming them for "daring" to think that he, such a HOOOOOOLY man, would EVER feel this way, and force them to apologize etc etc dshdh + Every time I reblog that video where a woman pushes a priest off the platform, I caption it as 'this is Rom when Ashton was being homophobic' and it is still canon, so that too.
Like... I can write a list that will actually make your phone lag upon scrolling so much, but you already get the idea of what type of a person he is. However yeah, jokes or not, but he managed to gain enough of reputation of a 'saint', by both appearing rather oppressive in demeanor and by secretly normalizing cannibalism (he'd sometimes feed people concerned with falling into beasthood meat or blood of enemies of the Healing Church, that they'd not know about, but they'd feel "easier' after that (of course...), and would be easily gaslit by Ashton into thinking that he had something personally to do with it, to offer remedy :') Like... It was kind of a big deal while it lasted. That you didn't have to be burnt/shot/trapped into one of those coffins if you start feeling beasthood but you could like, idk, talk with Ashton and feel better? I love to think that his beast form would reflect that, where his back would resemble a Kin way more than a beast, and you'd only see his hideous true form when he turns around! So yeah, like 'wolf in a sheep clothing' sorta!!)
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But yeah, these are the ideas! I really love the guy, but at the same time a lot about him comes from a couple of years ago, when my knowledge on Bloodborne lore was a bit limited, so for now I question whether Ashton "stole" too much from the thing LAURENCE should've been doing during his corruption arc. So yes, just take it as me tossing ideas around. Thank you for the ask, I really needed to revisit this stuff!
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