#I can't even love my family. do you know how much that sucks to not be able to love your own mother?
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thestrangestthlng · 15 hours ago
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Thoughts and prayers rants...
So, now that I've had almost 48 hours to marinate on this and cycled through my emotions, I am in a much better headspace to talk on the whole 9-1-1 of it all.
But this bears repeating: We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.
So, first and foremost, I've decided that canon stopped for me at 8x05. lol. I am going to continue with my BT train like that shit show didn't happen. And for me, for a while, I am going to let the show end there. I will go back, probably after the hiatus, but not how I was. I do love all the characters on this show (some more than others) and I still want to be able to see their journey, but I need a break from that manipulation stunt. I'm still going to share all the positive BT stuff I see and all the beautiful Lou content I see.
Secondly, now that I am over the initial hurt of the breakup, I'm just mad. We were manipulated intentionally with 8x05 for us to feel worse when the break up happened. That was unnecessary. And that was cruel. And I know that a lot of this is because it was the icing on a shit week. Emotions were already raw due to the election and it was reallllllyyyy bad timing for this, but that doesn't make the way they did it okay, just that it can explain why there was such a strong reaction for many of us, on top of the completely justified anger.
Breakups happen, and that's okay. If it was the end of Tommy's time on the show, that's okay. I am a Buck girlie and I always will be. But... the breakup was reductive, stereotypical, and just poor storytelling. I get they want to leave doors open a crack, because you never truly know, but turning him into an OOC stereotypical biphobic gay man is disgusting. You had this beautiful thing and you shat on it. I am going to do another post about my personal relationship with groundbreaking storylines next.
That was a miscommunication. That was a breakup where someone chases after you and is like wtf actually just happened. It felt like whiplash, because that is not how breakups are formulated in media. You know how else you could have written him out of the story?
At the date (and the basketball tickets are actually a really sweet touch when you think about it) Tommy could have told Buck that he got a job offer in another city or state or that his parents are ill and he has to go home to take care of them and asked Buck to go with him. At the apartment, it could have been buck telling him that as much as he could see a future with him, he can't go with him.
Would it have sucked? Yes. But it wouldn't have induced this amount of rage.
For over six months Lou and BTs have been at the receiving amount of a ton of vitriol. And that's not to say that there weren't antagonizers on this side of the fence or that BTs never did anything wrong, but this isn't a both sides bullshit piece. People can suck everywhere, but only one "side" harassed an actor and his family with death threats, he read about the "stoning" calls, used slurs on a regular basis. All of this persisted for months for it to turn out that he was the only one who seemed to give a shit about the story and it's representation. There honestly doesn't seem like there would have been anyone better for it.
You know what's ironic? It was the Buddie's hate and vitriol that pulled me into fandom and made me love Tommy and then Lou. When they would run their mouths, I would look into it and I found a man who genuinely seems like (he is still someone we don't know) a wonderfully kind, sweethearted, genuine man. He looks like a bundle of light and his smile can warm even the coldest hearts. So their vitriol made me a fan. So thanks BoBs.
Buck and Tommy wasn't just about Buck's queerness and definitely not about "wanting to see two white men kiss". It was about our love for Buck. We saw him happier and more fulfilled than he's ever been. We see his life being lived and full of love and stuff and joy.
Again:
We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.
And you know what, not matter how reductive and all the phobics that breakup was, they can never take that away from us.
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qoldenskies · 2 days ago
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Just read your canary continuity and holy shit was I not prepared. I actually had to step away and calm myself down from the brink of having a panic attack MULTIPLE times while reading it (that's not necessarily a bad thing, btw, it's just that hyperempathy towards a character that I admire got hands).
It's just....the slow escalation. The way you legitimately can't tell that something's wrong at first because yeah, sometimes brothers are kind of dickish to each other, it happens, no biggie, and then it starts getting into "wait, why are they being a bunch of ableist fucks all of a sudden", and then it gets into true psychological horror territory. The way the curse takes any frustration that they might have had about Donnie's behavior- maybe not even directed at him, but maybe frustration about "god, I wish I could make things easier for my autistic brother, it sucks that he has to go through this"- and twisting it entirely on its head to make them mad at HIM for showing those traits. The way it takes their existing personality traits and twists them into something more dark and sinister- like yes, this is making me realize Leo could genuinely be a terrifying villain if he had less of a strict moral code, because he gets people. He knows what makes them tick, and he knows how to potentially wear people down until they finally snap if he ever wanted to, and seeing the curse take that part of him and use it.....it was chilling, to say the least.
Not to mention that a part of them is never really going to be fully recovered from this. The trust that Donnie has had broken is probably going to take years to build back up, and they're probably going to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around him for a long ass time. Especially Leo, god. To know that you did that to your twin, the person who's supposed to be like another extension of you, to know that you broke their trust in you and their love so thoroughly that you might never get that bond back.....no wonder he's so desperate to try and fix things, and behaving irrationally because of it.
This is super long, but I just want to say that this is an amazing fic that you've written, and....if it's not too much to ask, can you give reassurance that things will at least go back to some semblance of normalcy at the end of all this? Like, they won't be permanently broken and their relationships will heal as much as they possibly can? I can tolerate as much hurt as you please as long as it has a happy ending [pleading emoji] (Also I have a theory that Donnie is suffering from nosebleeds either because of the massive amount of head trauma that he probably got in that last fight OR because severing his ninpo or w/e is doing fucky wucky things to his immune system and I am AFRAID)
!!!! I LOVEEEEE LONG ASKS HELLOOOOOOOOOO yeasss
i can guarantee a happy ending, yes!!! i do plan on writing an epilogue oneshot that takes place ten months after CW ends (and CW will end on a happier, hopeful note!), which will show the kind of normalcy they settled into after everything settles down!! they'll get there, its just going to be a . MESS first lmfao
and ohhh yeah writing leo has also helped me discovered how terrible he has the potential to be,,, even recovering and guilty he weaponizes these skills against them (when he lashes out at raph in ch5 and calls back to the family meeting is a very good example), its a side of leo i really like exploring!! he's so tactical in his manipulation and in canon that's usually used in harmless, funny ways, but it takes a NASTY twist here as the curse takes advantage of it. and its especially painful using it on donnie, who is the least perceptive and the most likely to fall for it :( he kind of slayed in caged lungs though he was so delightfully awful
anywhizzles EATING THIS ASK IN MY MOUTH IT IS ALL HIGH PRAISE!!! hope youre doing well!! <3333
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itsseriouslyridiculous · 6 days ago
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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sirenium · 5 months ago
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I hate being loveless. Send post.
#despite the scrambling to accept loveless folks that ended up fucking over romance and love favorable people#I still feel broken. I feel like I'm misleading my partners because the truth is that I don't love them like they love me#and they know this. we're open and I haven't misled them at all but I feel like a fraud still.#I want to be included in things or at least thought about even though I don't give people a second thought#but when I voice this: 'you didn't care about them anyway. they tried to reach out before'#I still value connections. after years of being pushed away by peers I still try to make connections with people#and when they inevitably feel stronger about me than I do them#or see things differently than I do#I feel... inadequate. like my attempts at being a person are futile#It's part of why I don't see myself as a person at all anymore. Because I can't FEEL like a 'normal' person.#it fucking sucks. and no amount of 'oh you're no less a person than someone who feels love uwu' can fix that#I can't even love my family. do you know how much that sucks to not be able to love your own mother?#years ago when I was 7 I had a nightmare where my mom said 'you don't love me anyway' while I was trying to convince her#not to jump into the water in front of us. that phrase has appeared in arguments years later#imagine the horror I feel trying to come to terms with the fact that that's a true statement.#I do care about and appreciate people but it'll never be enough#I'LL never be enough#it hurts.#and the performative bullshit on this platform doesn't help#loveless#aplatonic#afamilial
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sensitivegoblin · 1 year ago
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Vent
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yawnderu · 1 year ago
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Lorelei — Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader | Part I
1 2 3 4 5 6
Synopsis: Aware of the way his lifestyle doesn't align with your dream life and unwilling to quit his life as a soldier, Simon breaks things off with you. It isn't until a year later that he sees you again, a tiny carbon copy of him held in your arms.
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''So you're just goin' to sit there and tell me that isn't my daughter.'' Simon says bluntly, tone even yet carrying a snark hidden that you came to listen so many times after working with him— never once directed at you until now.
''It's really none of your business, Ghost.'' You don't even spare a glance at him, simply looking at your little girl, fingers gently running through her short hair. She looks exactly like Simon, though that will never take away your love for her.
''You're not denyin' it.'' He hesitantly sits down next to you, secretly afraid you'll bite his head off. The glare you shoot his way is enough confirmation that you would if you could. You sigh softly, the air leaving your lungs before being sucked back in, not wanting to argue in front of your little girl despite her not understanding words yet.
''Well, what's it to you? Why do you need to know?'' I can't handle you leaving me again.
''Don't be like that.'' His tone is soft, almost pleading. It has been over a year since he broke up with you, yet that doesn't make the loss any easier, not now that he knows he has a daughter, no matter how much you tried to hide it from him.
''Why didn't you tell me?'' He asks gently, feeling like he's walking on eggshells. It's the first time ever he feels that way with you, and he doesn't blame you in the slightest. It takes a few seconds of you thinking before you answer.
''I was terrified of you choosing to walk away from her... to be a deadbeat. I didn't want to have that image of you, because that would have hurt more than the break up.'' Your voice is more calm, though for all the wrong reasons. The familiar tingling all over your nose is back, eyes stinging as you try to hold back tears, too prideful to cry in front of him again.
''That's what you think o' me?'' He replies in nothing but pure disbelief and slight disgust. He would never walk away from his child, no matter how much that would destroy all the walls he has been building for years, stones upon stones carefully piled on top of each other, so strong nothing could ever break through— until you came along.
''I was fucking scared, okay?'' You look away and wipe your eyes with one hand, the other one carefully supporting the neck of the baby on your lap. Simon sighs, his bare hand hesitantly reaching down to trace the features of the tiny girl, being careful with her as if she would break if he applied any pressure. He notices your eyes glued to his hand, eyebrows furrowed. He's about to move his hand away until you adjust the little girl so he can touch her face without the awkward angle.
''Give me one more chance. Please— please, let me be a father to her.'' Simon never begged for anything, not even when he was tortured for months to no end, drugged, beaten like a dog, yet here he is; begging his ex for a chance to keep the girl in his life. You don't reply.
''I'll do everything I can. What I should've done. I want to be here, please.'' He was so damn ready to get on his knees and beg if that's what it took for you to let him be involved in her life. He's not asking you to be together— he knows he doesn't deserve that chance.
''She's looking at you like she knows you.'' Your response is ominous to say the least. You want to deny him, to tell him he doesn't even deserve to be able to touch the little girl you birthed alone, that he doesn't deserve the chance at a family after he destroyed 4 years of a relationship because of the very same thing, but... your little girl is looking up at him with pure admiration and curiosity in her big brown eyes, her tiny hand struggling to hold one of his fingers. Growing up with a single parent yourself, you know she deserves better, and you're willing to put your pride and pain aside to make sure she gets the world.
''Okay.'' You reply after taking a deep breath, holding it into your lungs for what feels like forever, choosing to ignore the strong arms wrapping around you, bringing all three of you close. It feels... right.
[NEXT]
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mattyriddlesbitch · 6 months ago
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Would you be willing to do Slytherin boys x shy!reader?? If you can, thank yoiuu!!
Yes! Love shy reader with our boys!
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Draco Malfoy
I don't think he cares if you're quiet or loud. He just likes you.
Doesn't try to push you into situations you're not comfortable with. Other than maybe something his family is hosting. He is practically pleading for you to go so he isn't lonely.
The type to order for you and talk to workers for you if you feel too shy to do it.
BUT will also tease you with it by saying "My wife wants x." when you guys are still just dating. He thinks it's funny when you get flustered, but won't overdo it.
Will def tease you in private too. If you get shy and blushy about something he does, like taking off his shirt, he's gonna keep doing it.
Tom Riddle
I think he prefers someone quiet and shy. Likes to be able to be with just you and doesn't have to worry about you talking to someone else when you two are out together.
Also wouldn't push you into situations you aren't comfortable with.
I don't think he'd order for you tbh, but will stand up for you. Someone talking shit about you, well...we know how that goes for them.
Wouldn't tease you intentionally, but might do something that makes you flustered and he finds it amusing, but isn't going out of his way to do it.
Would definitely love having private little date nights with you instead of going out somewhere in public where you might feel overwhelmed.
Mattheo Riddle
I covered him in another headcanon BUT
Loves shy girls. He looooooves making them flustered.
Will encourage you to get out of your comfort zone, but isn't gonna force it. He wants you to be happy, but he also thinks some things would be fun with you.
Will order for you and talk to workers for you like Draco. Will also stand up for you. Likes I said in the other one, he's showing up to your dorm covered in blood and a sweet smile.
ABSOLUTELY will tease the shit out of you. He's the worst. Doesn't matter if it's in public or private. Will whisper nasty things to you in public to see you blush. Getting super physical with you in private to make you flustered, like constantly touching you, will strip too, claiming it's for his comfort.
So overprotective of you though, he won't let anyone else tease you.
Blaise Zabini
I feel he prefers someone more extroverted, but does enjoy the power he gets when he makes you all shy.
I feel like he'd have you talk to workers and all that, just so he can see you all flustered. But he will take over if it gets too much for you.
Will also encourage you to get out of your comfort zone, partially for his amusement, but also because he wants you to get more comfortable with things. He can't be there 24/7 to protect you.
Will stand up for you too, but he won't be violent about it. I think worst he'd do is hex them or pull a really nasty prank on them.
Also loves teasing the shit out of you. Shy of PDA? That sucks. He's gonna kiss you and have his hand on your thigh or an arm around your waist. Would definitely point it out too, but only in private.
"No need to be shy around me, ma." "It's just us."
Lorenzo Berkshire
Doesn't care about you being shy or extroverted.
Sweet, sweet, sweet boy. Talking to workers, ordering your food, standing up for you, even telling his friends off if they go too far with you.
I do see him getting into a physical fight with someone too over this. A lot of people think he's too sweet, mans is not afraid to fight, especially when it comes to you.
Does encourage you out of your comfort zone every now and again, but overall doesn't push you.
Would only tease you in private. He doesn't want others getting the idea that they can tease you, so he'll keep it private. Minus a few cheeky comments or sly touches when no one's looking.
Theodore Nott
I do feel like he'd prefer someone more extroverted, but, like Blaise, loves how easy it is to get you flustered.
Will stand up for you, even to his friends, BUT refuses to order for you or talk to workers. He wants you to get comfortable doing it yourself.
Will definitely try pushing you out of your comfort zone. He'll be there to comfort and ease you the whole time, but he does want you to do more things you're not used to or comfortable with.
Absolutely teasing you in public. He's not even sorry. Shameless PDA with you, wants to see you blush and stutter.
Will let his friends tease you two, but not just you. Like, let them gag about the PDA and your blush, but if they laugh at you doing something embarrassing, he's MAD.
Taglist:
@jeannie-beannie @yourenogoodforme @mixvchelle @helendeath @evaslytherpuff
@ireallyneed-somesleep @soaked4abby @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem @motherfing-stargirl
@dracoslovergirl @littlemadamred @mattheoriddlesbitch
Let me know if you wanna be added!
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kirkwallsquad · 4 months ago
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favorite da2 battle lines in no particular order
i'm listening to a compilation by danaduchy on youtube rn so
literally every fenris line bcs everyone else is YELLING and he's just speaking in his regular quiet-ish voice. king what are you saying i can't HEAR YOU
except for when hawke goes down. THEN he's loudly upset.
"hawke's down! time to panic!" (isabela)
"the tame elf is down" (varric - what the fuck omg don't call fenris that)
"your pet elf has fallen" (carver - WHAT THE FUCK OMG DON'T CALL FENRIS THAT)
"that moody mage is down" (aveline)
"ugh, can someone pick up fenris please?" (merrill)
"isabela's on the ground... appropriately" (aveline - HELLO?!?!?!?)
"merrill! oh, blood mages are so dramatic" (isabela)
"aveline has fallen?" (fenris - why is this a question babe)
"they got whatshisname, the mage" (varric - i continue to believe he doesn't know anders' name until act 3)
"the dwarf has dropped a few more feet" (sebastian)
"dear varric, please learn to parry. love, your innards" (varric)
"do you have something for this, because it hurts" (carver)
"even my teeth hurt" (anders)
"i've got so many bruises now they've got names and families" (merrill)
"ugh, i have dirt in my mouth" (sebastian)
"you're going to let me walk around injured?" (carver)
"being close to death is very bad for my morale" (isabela)
sebastian describes his wounds as "oozing" or "seeping" more than once
"i know dalish are meant to be close to the earth, but we don't mean literally" (merrill)
"i'm alright, who needs kidneys anyway" (isabela)
"hawke. varric. i think this is bad." (merrill)
"stop being you and fix me up" (carver - BABY. BABY BROTHER.)
"that really gets the blood flowing" but also "i will fight and pray for forgiveness later" but also "this is much more exciting than the chantry!" (sebastian - what is wrong with you <3)
"my face is not a shield!" (hawke)
"and they say drinking doesn't solve anything" (isabela)
"haawke i can't mooove" (sebastian)
"i'm too far away, what do you want me to do? shout at them?" (isabela)
"i'd have to fly to reach! of course, i've always wanted to learn to fly" (merrill - she's literally the funniest person ever)
"alas, no" (fenris)
"my faith is my armor! my cause is my shield!" (sebastian)
"if we kill them, we get their stuff!" (isabela)
"andraste's knees, it's like herding cats!" (isabela)
"AFRAID YET?!" (anders)
"RUN! WHILE YOU CAN!" (anders - he's so loud i love him)
"another one for me! how many have you gotten, hawke?" (varric)
"ah. a shame that you're going to die, no?" (fenris)
"you. me. and an audience. that's what this is all about!" (carver)
"may the creators have mercy on you! i certainly won't." (merrill)
"destructive forces of nature, coming up!" (anders)
"suck on a fireball!" (anders)
"NEVER TAUNT A MAGE!!!" (anders)
"a thrust, now a parry" (fenris)
"i'm gonna taunt you in elvish now! durgen'len! aravel! vallaslin!" (merrill)
"hello, i'm merrill, and i'll be your distraction." (merrill)
"I'LL SHOW YOU WHY MAGES ARE FEARED!!!" (anders)
"maker please forgive your children" followed immediately by "DID YOU SEE THAT SHOT" (sebastian)
"WANT TO SEE WHAT'S UNDER THESE ROBES?!?!?!" (anders)
"I'M RIGHT HERE! HIT ME!" (isabela)
"maker, the idiocy" (bethany)
"MAKER BLESS YOUR CHILDREN IN THEIR HOUR OF NEEEED" (sebastian)
"my weapon does nothing??" (fenris - he sounds so puzzled help)
"this is SO not working" (anders)
"if the pointy sticks don't work, try the other pointy sticks" (isabela)
"ah, dear. why doesn't anyone ever want to be nice to us?" (merrill)
"is there an end to the people who hate you?" (aveline)
"looks like we've got a few more puppies to kick" (isabela - HELLO?!?)
"take a step, kill, repeat repeat repeat" (carver)
"the hate you inspire is unfortunate" (fenris)
"another twenty steps, another batch of deaths" (anders)
"nobody seems to like you. do you get used to that?" (merrill - ouch. brutal hskfjhgksdjfhg)
"i can't take credit for all of this. hawke helped a little bit" (isabela)
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petew21-blog · 3 months ago
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Revenge possession, part 2
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"So what is this game called again?" I asked out loud with Devon's voice.
Devon in the back of our mind:"Dead by daylight. You play either as a survivor or the killer. Depending on the role you have to escape or kill all the survivors."
I chuckled a bit:"You don't see how that's ironic?"
Devon was silent. "I'm so sorry, man. Jesus, I didn't think this through. Haha. Well... you should be good in this game right?"
Me:"Not really. I kinda didn't even know I was being hunted. Your parents just picked me up and then tortured me in the woods. I didn't have much of a chance to even run."
Devon:"Oh... I'm so sorry for that, man. My parents are horrible people."
Me:"Yeah. And I know they killed much more people than just me. That's why it needs to stop"
Devon:"So are you sure that killing them would be the best revenge for all these years of their murder spree?"
Me:"What else can I do? It's not like I had much of a choice. Few days ago I didn't even have a body. Now I co-share yours. Yeah, stealing their sons body is good revenge too, but you're a good person. And I don't want to take over your life."
Devon:"Not what I was aiming for. I honestly love having you here with me. You're like a second voice/brother/best friend inside of me. Oh shit. I just figured. I keep calling you bro. What's your real name?"
Me:"Paul. Took you long to ask, man. Not cool"
Devon:"Sorry, haha. So... Paul. You're like 40 now, right?"
Me:"I would be if your parents didn't kill me. But I died when I was 21 like you are now. So my mind basically stayed 21 I suppose. Except for roaming the country I didn't have much fun through all these years. These past few days as you, just chilling here, playing video games, jerking off and talking to you is the most fun I had over these 20 years."
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Devon took control over his body to let go of the controler and to flex his biceps. The sweat hitting his nose.
Me:"What are you doing? I thought we were gonna play?"
Devon:"Nah, just reminding you what body you're in"
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Devon:"Look at me man. I have beautiful abs, massive arms. These thighs could crush a melon between them. I appreciate that you picked me and that you like my body, but you gotta do something about this. We gotta go have fun. With another living being."
Me:"Devon... I really am happy how you treat me in your body, but... I don't think we have the same type of dating pool"
Devon:"I don't care whoever you fuck. I'm straight, or atleast I think I am, but very accepting. And if my man inside of me wants to fuck some handsome man, I will be more than happy to help you out. Bros gotta help each other"
Me:"But it's gonna be your body, man."
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Devon:"So? You could do much worse with my body and you didn't. Getting fucked or fucking someone in the ass is not so bad."
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Me:"Ok? So what place do you suggest?"
Devon:"Gym. We can show everyone what this body can do. Lot of people observe me there, so you can pick whoever you desire"
We arrived to the gym. So many hot and sexy people in sight. Devon took control to do his normal routine. It sucks that I could also have a body like this, but back in the day I wanted to see the world. I wanted to be myself in a world that hates my kind. Twenty years later, the world is so much more accepting. It's not ideal, but wow. How things gave changed
I still can't believe that Devon let's me stay in his body. I mean, look at him. He could be anything, have anyone. And yet this hot piece of meat is depressed with his easy life, being alone most of the time. I guess that's what happens when your serial killer parents move your family every now and then. You don't have any friends and those that you did might already be dead by their hand. How horrible... I honestly can't wait to see them. To look them in their face. With their son's face and to kill them. I hope Devon will forgive me. I know he says he wants to stop them, but it's his parents. I just have to make sure that he will not stop me when the time comes
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Devon was just finishing up, when a cute twink approached us.
The guy:"Hey, I hope you don't mind that I was watching you"
Devon:"Nah, it's ok man. You need a hand with lifting?"
The guy smiled. "Oh I do need a hand, I just don't know If I asked the right person"
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Devon sat down, looking all confused:"That depends if..."
I stopped Devon mid sentence. "I think that's a cue for me to take over, ok?"
Devon now in the back of my mind:"Sorry man, I usually don't respond to guys hitting on me. Go on. Have fun"
I smiled at the guy and casually finished the sentence
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We headed to the showers. The owners must be probably sick with all these guys hooking up here. But we didn't care. We made out passionately. The twins was all over my muscles, as I would be in his place too. He was a bit smaller. That gave me a sense of dominating him.
I stopped and smiled at the guy. "I... just gotta let you know that I am a virgin"
Devon:"What!!! Dude, you never had sex with anyone?"
The guy looked at me from top to bottom. "You? If good looking people like you are virgins, then I have no idea how world works."
I chuckled nervously. It was true. I was 21 when I died, but back then it was much harder to date a find gay guy. Now you can just download Grindr and in a few minutes you got yourself a guy in your bedroom
Twink:"Well in that case we can go to your place and have some fun there. This isn't a very nice place to have your first time, don't you think"
I just smiled and nodded in approval
We were now in Devon's messy room. The guy was really shocked to see such a straight man cave, but didn't say a word. We made out. He took off my shirt soaked in sweat from gym. His lips now kissed my neck and went to over my pecs, down the middle to my waist band. He took my hard dick into his hand, squeezed hard and looked me deep into my eyes. His look was so full of lust, yet I could tell it was superficial. This guy isn't looking for romance. He just wants to be fucked hard. So let's give it to him
I took a bit of control of the moment. I grabbed him by the neck. Turned him around and pressed him against the wall. He was now moaning in pleasure as I was rubbing my hard dick hidden beneath the layers of my clothes against his ass. I was still holding him, choking him.
I pulled of my shorts and his just low enough to get my dick in there. I wanted to push it right in there. As hard as I could
Devon suddenly screamed out from the back of his mind:"Condom dude!!!"
I left the guy, moanjng against the wall, reaching out to the condom on the shelf. I was struggling to find which side to pick to put it on my dick
Twink:"Wait. Let me" it was obvious he jas done it a few times. The condor was on in a matters of seconds. "Do you have any lube?"
Devon intervened again:"Top drawer. Give him more attention, man. You're making it all about yourself"
"Shut up" I said out loud as a response to Devon, but the guy looked confused. "Oh sorry, not you. I'm just nervous. I have lube right here."
The guy went on Devon's bed on his back. His clothes were now gone and his ass was welcoming my dick. His legs wide open.
I pressed lightly my dick with a ridiculous ammount of lube on top.
It went smoothly so I tried to went all the way. This seemed to hurt the twins. "Hold your horses. I'm good, but not that good. A bit slower, cowboy."
I went in slowly. The pleasure got to Devon too. The way this guys ass was tight around the head of our dick was sending our minds to heaven.
I picked up the pace. The twink was moaning in pleasure and in pain at the same time. I grabbed him by the next to choke him. My other arm pressing his thigh.
Twink:"Harder!" I thought I was going as hard as possible, but I didn't think he could take it much more
Twink:"Harder!!!"
Devon:"Oh, jesus. Let me do it" Devon took over. I was in the back of our mind again. Still feeling everything.
Devon was like a beast, but the twink was really enjoying it.
I could feel all the cum building up. Ooh there's gonna be tons of cum.
Devon was biting his lower líp and furiously pounding this guy's ass. Sure, "Straight" my ass.
Devon:"I'm cumming!!!"
Twink:"Fill me! I want it all"
Devon shot out the stream of cum into the condom. The wave of pleasure was so overwhelming. So much, that I lost control for a moment. I didn't know what was happening.
I opened my eyes. Still as Devon. Good. But I was back in control. But I was alone here. I couldn't feel Devon
"DEVON?!?"
Twink:"Right here. You pushed my soul out of my body, dude. If the guy here wasn't as welcoming you would have me erased or something"
Me:"I'm so sorry. I didn't think that would happen."
Devon:"It's fine. This guy's soul is asleep or maybe gone? I don't know. But I can't hear him now. Dude! I could feel my body's orgasm and his orgasm at the same time. I can assure you, that this is definitely the best I'll ever feel. So overwhelming."
Me:"Shit, dude. We gotta figure out how to get you put of there. Or you might be stuck"
Devon:"What if we wait for a bit? I kinda wanna try having sex with my body."
Me:"Kinky. You wanna get pounded too?"
Devon:"Guess I'm not so straight anymore, right?"
After our first fucking session, Devon passed out from all the sex. We still didn't know where this guy's soul was, but we would figure that out soon. I was just happy that I was finally alive. And I even have a boyfriend now? If that's what I can call Devon. Not to put labels on our relationship or anything
I grabbed the first pair of shorts from the floor I could find. Still sweaty from the sex, I headed to the kitchen to get myself a drink of water.
I was interrupted by a dark figure in the corner of the room
"Hello, son"
I was full of rage. But I can't fuck it up now. If I kill him, I won't know where his mom is and that would take me another decade to find her.
"Hey, dad. How was your holiday"
"Oh wonderful. Rome is your mother's favourite place to visit"
I tried to act as much as possible. Devon was in his room in a wrong body, so that wouldn't help me.
"Did you go to Colosseum this time?"
"Oh, we sure did." The father responded. But in the matter of seconds his expression changed. He was now holding a gun pointed at me
"What are you doing, dad?!"
"Devon knows we went to Bahamas"
Fuck. So he knew all along that I'm not Devon. But how?
"Me and my wife found out that the folk like you, who want to have your revenge for what we did, come back as ghosts to make our lives a living hell."
"So I'm not the first one?"
"Hahaha. Of course you're not. The first one came when Devon was 2 years old. Of course he doesn't remember, but that was a nasty one. All the paranormal stuff. We didn't know what we were dealing with back then. But now, oh we are used to deal with you. But possessing Devon is a first. Some possessed us and tried to kill us, but obviously failed."
"How can you tell that I'm not him? Besides the question."
"Oh it's an aura thing. Once you have the experience and a good guidance, you can just tell when a soul isn't in their rightful place."
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"Now, tell me. Did Devon put up a lot of fight? Your answer will change the course of your torture."
"Devon is ok. He's in the body of the guy downstairs. It was an accident"
"Sure it was. That would make sure that we couldn't kill you or him, right? We're not so stupid, mister. Although I will not enjoy killing my son, there is no other choice."
"If you kill me, I will go after you even more. I have for the past 20 years and I will even after you die. My soul will not rest until you burn in hell"
"Sure you can do that, but it will take you some time to get out of this thing."
He was holding a wooden object with symbols
"What is that thing?"
"That mister, is your prison. It will bind you inside, until it breaks, or someone opens it on purpose. Which happens rarely if you ask me."
"You're doing a big mistake. Devon is in his room in a different body. Let him atleast get his body back."
"I can't take that chance. Me and my wife have a life to live up to and we won't stop just because our son got himself in some trouble and can't handle it."
"It's your son! You would kill him just so you can continue your killing spree?"
"Oh, definitely. Having a child is a great thing, but taking a life. That's something you won't ever forget about. The control it gives you."
"You're sick. No parent would ever do this to their child"
From the hallway a second voice spoke:"Oh these two are a chatty couple, right honey? So chatty chatty. But we need to hurry up, so get on with this" the mother said towards her husband
I could feel a horrible pain in my chest. Feelings very similar to the ones I felt 20 years ago. This couple was killing me again
"Sorry Devon. We couldn't have done anything" father said
"Devon hates you too!" I screamed out
"You're talking too much" and then nothing.
I don't know for how long this continued. I don't even know what they did with Devon's beautiful body. How they got rid of it.
Soon I started to feel walls around me. Walls? As a ghost I wouldn't be able to. Except if this is their prison that they were talking about.
I opened my eyes. There was only darkness. Nothing else. I looked around and on the other side of my prison was someone sitting, crying.
I got up to approach this person. He looked up
It was Devon. He was crying
"Paul! They killed me. My own mother slit my throat. I told her it's me. But she just killed me and trapped me into thus thing."
"I'm so so sorry, Devon. I never wanted any of this. I wanted revenge for them. But they were ready. They knew. Your father didn't listen to me too. He didn't care. I told him about your soul. But they are more sadistic then I thought"
"Paul, I'm dead. My parents killed me. My OWN PARENTS!"
"Devon, they are horrible people. And we will get our lives back. Maybe not our old lives, but we will. But first we have to get out of here. We're gonna get through this together. Ok?"
Devon collapsed into my arms. I was just glad that I could hold someone even if I was a ghost now. We were gonna get out of here, but I had no idea how
Outside of the ghost trap, the world went by.
Devon's father held the trap tightly as he watched his old house burn. His wife held her head on his shoulder.
"Ahhh, I think I might miss Devon. He gave our life some order"
"He limited us. We couldn't ve ourselves all the time. Now we can. What do you say we go pick up some hitchhiker?"
"Ohhhh, that's a lovely idea. Get rid of that box, it gives me the creeps"
And as the two of them were laughing while leaving, the box was sinking deeply into the river below the bridge until some human would find it.
If Paul and Devon would know what was happening to then right now, they would be devastated.
503 notes · View notes
munsonthings86 · 9 months ago
Text
sunshine
pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
summary: a love-struck steve cooks you dinner for the first time
warnings: cursing, alcohol, bit of backstory, oversimplified summary, steve's parents kinda suck (when do they not), best friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff, soft!steve
an: i think this is my favorite thing i’ve ever written. i'm so in love with these two. i hope you all enjoy this one as much as i do. * don’t copy my work * (also pretend there's a big city near hawkins for the sake of this pls)
wc: 6.0k
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“Ow!” Steve hissed, nicking his finger yet again as he made his best effort to dice pesky onions. The knife was razor-sharp as it was fresh out of its packaging, having never been used yet. Frustrated, he squeezed the band-aid he'd spent a solid ten minutes looking for, tighter on his finger, earning a harsh sting.
"Goddamned knife," he whispered, tightlipped, but as soon as the complaint left his lips he wished to yank it back in. It was the chef's knife you'd bought him along with many other thoughtful housewarming gifts to celebrate Steve moving into his first apartment. Steve had insisted that you return some of the gifts, noting that "one gift was more than he could ever ask for".
In spite of his pleas, you didn't return a single gift. Of course, you didn't. You had bought items you knew Steve would need but would ultimately forget to buy for himself. Just to name a few, you'd gotten him a trash bin for his bathroom, a record player, and the best utensil set that the rest of your Family Video paycheck could buy.
Peering at the odd assortment of household objects you'd lugged into his barren apartment with a bright smile pulling at the corners of your lips, an expression of gratitude and bewilderment claimed his face. Steve's round, chestnut-brown eyes ogled yours as you ranted and raved, explaining your thought process behind each purchase.
The record player was for nights like these. Peaceful nights indoors, simply enjoying each other's company without the tense presence of his parents who would shout for him to turn that damn music down if he even thought about letting the needle hit the groove of the record.
"Now we can play music as loud and as much as we want to," he remembered you saying, blushing at your use of the word "we". Though you two were only best friends and have been since grade school, Steve couldn't help but fantasize about a life with you. You, drowning in one of his bigger-than-you t-shirts, prancing around the apartment as you listened to some your favorite records.
He'd begun pondering on how he would rearrange the bit of furniture he had, that'd allow for space for your belongings as well, before you lured him out of his thoughts, defending the bin.
From what he gathered, you bought the garbage bin due to his burning inability to keep his bathroom clean. Steve was someone who took great care of his appearance, always well-kempt and attentive to even the smallest of details.
His bathroom did not reflect this, whatsoever. He had a bad habit of harboring empty cans and bottles of Farrah Fawcett spray that littered the already limited counter space he had in his en suite bathroom.
Steve was such a boy when it came to tidiness.
Everyone knew that about Steve, though. What they didn’t know, however, was how skilled he was in a kitchen. After being left to his lonesome whenever his parents would venture off to one of their many business trips, Steve spent his nights learning to cook after his allowance dwindled and he couldn't afford pizza delivery anymore. The second he'd clock in for his shift at Family Video, he'd make a beeline to where you stood, stocking VHS tapes, and instantly began buzzing and bustling about the new recipe he tried the night before.
You had begged him to let you come over one night to taste one of his home-cooked meals, but his response was always the same. "You can't rush perfection, sweets. But I promise, when I'm ready to grace the world with my master chef skills, you'll be the first to know."
You would roll your eyes dramatically at him but admittedly, you felt a sense of pride wash over you whenever Steve would tell you about his cooking endeavors. It may not seem like a big deal to others, but you knew how much his parents being so negligent, so often, bothered him.
Though they were never the most warm and affectionate, there seemed to be a colder chill and heavier sense of loneliness in the house when they were gone. That's why you never denied Steve whenever he'd call late at night asking if it was okay to spend the night at your house.
He always felt at home there.
Steve learning to cook for himself meant that his parents' absence was finally beginning to help him grow; no longer craving validation and tenderness from his family. He got that when he was with you. That's what the utensil set was for. A silent sign saying that though his parents weren't there, you were.
"Don't get me wrong, sunshine, I love the gift, but why's this knife so funny looking?" Steve asked, squinting his eyes at the sharp object that looked like it was from some alien universe. It had three square-like holes infiltrating the blade, and the tip came to an up-turned point that split in two. The handle was the only average looking part about it.
"That, my friend, is a cheese knife," you answered matter-of-factly, gazing at the box that had all of the included utensils neatly labeled.
"They make knives specifically for cheese?"
"Apparently, yeah," you snorted, tossing the empty box off to the side of the room with the other discarded cardboard that you made a mental note to move to the recycling bin on your way out. Steve never recycled. Bad habit he picked up from his parents, you figured.
"Well, I can't wait to use my weird new knife. Thank you. Seriously," Steve smiled softly as he watched you with those big brown eyes that voiced his gratitude and sentiment louder than his words ever could.
"The best weird chef has to have the best weird equipment. You're welcome," you grinned, toying with the loose thread dangling from your distressed band tee, as your eyes collided with Steve’s.
Looking at Steve was hard.
In the midst of quiet and almost intimate moments like these, the nerves bolting through your body screamed at you to look anywhere else, but the greed of your heart yearned for you to keep drinking in the deep chocolate pools that were Steve Harrington's eyes.
The two of you gazed at each other for another second, though it felt identical to a blissful eternity, until Steve furrowed his eyebrows after registering what you'd just uttered. "Did you just call me weird?" He asked, hand on his hip as if he's offended, though he truthfully isn't because he's positive you're infinitely weirder than he is, and he's more than willing to debate with you for hours on that topic.
"Nooo," you sang, quickly turning away to distract yourself with some unpacking that Steve had called you over to help him with, which you happily agreed to. A little extra time with him was time well spent.
"Yeah, okay," he rolled his eyes. He happily tucked away the flashy silverware he'd poached from his parent's kitchen into the darkest corner of the drawer, leaving the less flashy but much more appreciated utensils you bought him, front and center, ready to be shown off.
"Oh those? My best friend got them for me. Aren't they nice? Did you know they make knives for cheese?" He imagined himself saying, hoping he'd get the opportunity to boast about them to his guests some time soon.
Steve smiled to himself at the memory, angling the cutting board that harbored a pile of diced onions that he'd at last conquered, into a bowl, sliding them off with the blade of a knife that was a lot less odd shaped compared to his trusty cheese knife. It didn't even have to be that specific memory. It could've been any imagery of you being the effortlessly sarcastic, intelligent, breath-taking person that you were, and it would be the warm light to inevitably guide him out of whatever dark mood that dared to plague him.
Steve was so helplessly in love with you.
April 14, 1978, he could never forget the day, was particularly dreary. So dreary it made Steve begin to question why the spring time was thought to be such a radiant, pleasant season when all it ever did was bring rain and provoke people with allergies. Steve slammed his blaring alarm off with a groan, never bothering to pry open his tired eyes.
The sky was dark and dreadful, concealing the golden rays of the sun he yearned to see. As he trudged through the house, reluctantly gearing himself up for yet another torturous day of middle school, Steve silently prayed for some unorthodox happenstance that would call for the canceling of school.
But much to his dismay, that wasn't the case.
When the bell pierced through the classroom speakers, alerting the beginning of Steve's favorite class, P.E., he rushed to the locker room, jumping into his gym uniform, as he was determined to continue his unfaltering streak of dodgeball victories.
Steve was in the zone, taking out his opponents left and right as if it was nothing. If dodgeball was an Olympic sport, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that he could've won multiple gold medals.
Then you came.
Sauntering into sixth grade gym class, adorning a lengthy, bright yellow dress with your hair done up, looking as anxious as can be. It was your first day at Hawkins Middle and you'd just transferred halfway into the semester, all thanks to your parents decision to move to the small town, leaving New York City and all your friends behind.
Everyone turned their curious heads to peer at you, whispering amongst each other, prompting you to clutch your books tighter to your chest as if to shield yourself. Your soft smile as you looked around at your new classmates instantly made Steve's chest and stomach warm and gooey inside, making him want nothing more than to walk up to you and convince you to be his friend. Steve hated how gossipy his classmates were, as it clearly made you uncomfortable, but he couldn't bring himself to look away either.
The way the illuminous medallion hue complimented your skin tone was nothing short of art. To him, you were the sun personified. The sun he was so eager to see.
Due to your lack of sports attire, Coach Daniels had you sit on the bleachers, watching as the other kids resumed their game of dodgeball after mumbling a "warm" welcome to you, per Coach's request.
Steve lost his first game of dodgeball that day. He just couldn't seem to focus when you were perched just a few feet away, thumbing through your withered book, looking like one of the prettiest girls he'd ever laid his adolescent eyes on. Steve, or the boy with the hella good hair as you dubbed him in your diary later on that night, was too enamored with you to be bothered by the taunts coming from his friends. He jogged over to you, offering to keep you company until fourth period began, which you happily accepted.
And ever since then, the two of you have been as thick as thieves.
"Hawkins PD, open up!" Steve recognized your muffled voice, though you deepened it, to imitate a police officer. Your signature three knocks followed, urging butterflies to erupt throughout his stomach, as he longed to see you. It couldn't have been more than twenty-four hours since the two of you had last seen each other, but even one hour without you was an hour way too long for poor Steve.
"It's open", Steve called, tossing a hand towel over his shoulder, setting the stove ablaze, planting a pot over the flame. Right on time, he thought.
"Hey, Harrington," you smiled as you struggled to enter, cradling two bottles of rosé wine and your purse in your arms, pushing the door open with the help of your hip.
"Hey, sunshine. Lemme get those for ya," Steve offered, stowing your bearings on the counter gently, while you kicked your shoes off, mumbling a "thanks".
A warm amber light casted from the ceiling of the kitchen spilled into the shadowy living room a few feet away, like a neglected can of paint. The only thing that remained un-melted by the darkness was the quiet record player, as if the generous light knew you'd be looking for it the minute you walked in.
"How was your day?" Steve smirked as he watched you rush over to the object he swore was the only reason you liked to come over, sifting through the vinyl's searching for your favorite one. What’s Love Got To Do With It by Tina Turner. Steve spotted it before you did. Absentmindedly, you responded, “Not too shabby, ya know? How was yours?”
“Yeah, it was alright.”
You crouched down to the two tier storage table, running a finger across the spines of the records, searching for your beloved song. It quickly became the song you most adored when you'd bought the tape for your Walkman a few years prior. Your days weren't complete unless you played the song at least twice, so much so that Steve found himself quietly humming the song to himself whenever he'd miss you. He even caught himself doing that dumb little finger dance you normally did whenever you listened to a song you really liked. He'd never tell you that, though.
Much to your dismay, you couldn't seem to spy that sneaky record. You dropped your hand disappointedly, faintly fearsome that it'd been misplaced. Steve's apartment wasn't huge, but it wasn't exactly tidy either. “It’s right there, sweets. To your left.” So you diverted your attention to the left. No Tina Turner. “No, your other left.”
“Here?” you pointed. Steve hummed in confirmation.
“Well, that’s not the left, Steve. That’s the right,” was your response that you punctuated with a roll of your tired eyes. Apart from knowing how to get to Skull Rock with his eyes closed, the boy had zero sense of direction. It was something you found both endearing and infuriating. It depended on the day, really.
“Potato, potahto.” Oh, Steve. Melting butter into the burning pan in front of him that he almost completely forgot about, all thanks to your beautiful presence, he began sautéing his diced onions along with some fresh garlic. "Well, speaking of 'potahtoes' you need to be cooking some, 'cause you promised me dinner tonight," you smiled tight-lipped, cocking your head at an angle.
You felt the unpleasant sensation of your stomach growling, cursing you, at the heavenly thought of food as your shift at Family Video earlier today was unforgiving to your non-existent breakfast. You fumbled with the vinyl a bit as the mouthwatering aroma of home cooking stormed your senses and Steve spoke once more. "Feisty today, aren't we?"
"Just a tad," you laughed quietly.
"Well, I hate to disappoint you but tonight we're not having potatoes. I'm making your favorite," he pointed, shuffling the pan to give it a gentle stir. He made sure to turn to face you in time to see your hopefully delighted reaction. "Alfredo?!" you spun around with a glittering grin, almost knocking over Steve's plant. A fake one, of course. A real plant was a bit too much responsibility for him.
At the nod of his head, your cheesy smile soften to a smaller, less toothy one as you watched Steve while he resumed cooking. What you failed to share with your best friend was that the last phrase you'd actually use to describe your day was "not too shabby". Besides waking up almost an entire hour past the start of your shift (Keith made sure to give you an earful about that) and everyone and their mother in town deciding to be at Family Video today, it seemed like your day was never-ending. The only thing keeping your mood from turning stink to sour was the idea of going to see Steve.
Steve was kind of magical in that way. Anger, sadness, anxiety, you name it, it was no match for Steve. Though he was no poet, he had this way with words that would never fail to make you feel so comforted. So safe. Any instance where Steve had to talk you out of whatever mental turmoil you were enduring, it felt you were being endlessly wrapped in a cozy, tight blanket, sheltering you from all the darkness.
How Steve knew you were having a shit day and needed your favorite meal along with your favorite boy? Lord knows. His ability to read you without even needing to be near you was nothing short of wizardry. But like you said. Steve was magical.
"You're the best," you proclaimed, prompting a mumbled sly remark from your chef for the evening, before the music began. Being here, along with the divine sound of Tina's ethereal voice and pasta boiling in water, was more than enough to make you feel like you were right at home, though your true address was miles away. When the time to depart would make its cursed arrival, it was never easy to leave, especially with the way Steve begged for you to stay, using those unfairly adorable puppy dog eyes that paired beautifully with his lengthy lashes, against you.
And it always worked. Well, not always. You had some degree of self-control. But more times than not, you couldn't help but to cave in to his protests. How could you resist? It was Steve.
With a satisfied grin that carved deep smile lines into his blushing cheeks, he'd tuck his sheets snug around your body, repeatedly asking you if you were comfortable enough. His bed was cloud-like, plush and doughy and his pillows smelled like his shampoo and conditioner, a hint of cologne on his comforter. It was like you were trapped in a cocoon of Steve. You wanted to tell him you were beyond comfortable, that there, in his bed, you were in just about your favorite place on Earth but, habitually, you concluded that a simple nod would suffice.
Crawling onto the empty space beside you, he made sure to face you, leaving a soft squeeze on your shoulder before humming "G'night, sunshine," closing his eyes and tucking his hands under his head. And like always, Steve was a perfect gentleman, dead set on never getting under the covers himself when you'd sleep over.
Guilt would disrupt your relaxation at the sight of the brisk night chill building little hills on his freckled arms, though you selfishly loved the way he'd cuddle up to steal some of your body heat. His plump lips would part as he drifted into a peaceful slumber, light snores and chirping crickets being your lullaby.
You hoped to have another night like that soon.
In the midst of times like those, storms of wonder and doubt raged on. Was Steve like this with everyone else? Were you being silly thinking that you and Steve could be more than friends? Being Steve's best friend for nearly a decade, you knew he wasn't exactly a prude. His King Steve era was honestly one of your least favorites. Though he reserved his usual tenderness and affection all for you, you've witnessed a whole slew of girls enter and leave Steve's life, and none of them looked like you.
You wanted nothing more than to be one of the girls he'd have leaned up against his locker, arm resting next to their head, cheeks fanned by his minty breath as he whispered honeyed words. You craved dates at the drive-in theater in Steve's burgundy 1983 BMW only to neglect the movie and end up making out, like he did with other girls.
When Steve would bring his latest lover around, desperately, you did your damnedest to bury your jealousy and and fill its grave with merriment for him, because if anyone deserved to be happy, it was Steve. But the girls at school only wanted to be with Steve because of his status and all the flashy things he could buy them.
The flashy things were dull to you, though.
You wanted to be with Steve because you wanted to hold his hand and press soft kisses to his cheek. To hug him a little tighter and little longer than a best friend normally would. To run your fingers through his fluffy hair whenever he would grow stressed because you knew it calmed him down. To make him breakfast in bed when he was sick and even when he wasn't. To love him your fullest potential.
But you had to settle for this. Calves tucked under your thighs with a blanket draped over your legs as you stared off into space, longing for someone you thought you couldn't have, not knowing he was stealing glances of you wondering what was running through your pretty little head.
Resting your arm against the back of the sofa, holding your head up, your lips were downturned in a pout, eyebrows pulled together as you studied the throw pillow a few inches away from you. A little pillow can't be that interesting, something has to be bothering you, he thought. He was unapologetically curious to know if pressing his lips against your own would make that frown melt into that sweet smirk you usually had.
Steve hated when you were unhappy. It made his mind race. Did someone say something to you? Did someone do something to you? Did you eat today? How was your shift? Why did you lie when you said your day "wasn't too shabby"? Obviously it was shabby. Look at your face. That tired and troubled, cute little face. What can he do to fix it? You were his sunshine, you deserved to be happy, always.
Giving the pot a final stir and turning the flame off, Steve carelessly tossed the grease-stained hand towel flopped over his shoulder, down by the sink, strolling over to where he'd earlier set down the two bottles of wine. White Zinfandel. Neither you or Steve were wine connoisseurs, but when you called Nancy panicking about how extensive the selection at the liquor store was, she swore by it.
Balancing two glasses and a single bottle of the rose-tinted alcohol, Steve took an extra glance at your face, deciding to scoop up the second bottle into his arms. By the looks of it, it was gonna be one of those nights.
You tried to hide your smile as you noticed he was coming over, a slight grin on his face as he set the glasses down. You and him both knew he was only coming to cause trouble. He set the delicate haul down on to the thrifted wooden coffee table in front of you, slipping you one of those comforting 'Steve smiles' he usually did.
Like the forgotten towel, he threw himself down on the couch next to you, warm hand having a much softer landing on the plush of your thigh; a familiar and welcomed touch. Habitually, you curled up closer to him, no longer able to hide your smile.
"Why so glum, chum?" He tilted his chin down, slightly poking his bottom lip out, as he looked at you through batting eyelashes.
Laughing through your nose and subsequently parading a grin that displayed nothing but teeth and hollow happiness, you remarked, "What do you mean? Don't you see me smiling?"
You were fooling absolutely no one. Steve knew you were sad. And, goddamn it, he was gonna get it out of you.
"You know exactly what I mean, you weren't smiling just a few seconds ago until I came over. You're welcome, by the way, I'm flattered that I have such an effect on you," he smirked, placing a hand on his chest in gratitude.
"Okay, now I'm glum again," you roll your eyes at his not-so discreet cockiness. You hid your face in your hands, resting your forehead on Steve's shoulder. It was hard with muscle, but soft with tenderness and safety. "I was smiling at the wine, for your information."
The palm of your hand that pressed against your face muffled your words, but Steve could still understand what you said, it was evident in the way your tone was laced with satire.
"Ah, yes, that makes way more sense" Steve replied, monotone. His thumb began coasting along your skin as he urged you, "Alright, jokes aside. How are you really feeling?"
Hoisting your head up, you almost answered before he continued, "And don't give me that 'not too shabby' crap 'cause that frown you had going on earlier already snitched on ya."
When the hell did he get so observant? Steve was no idiot, but sometimes things needed to be spelled out for him. But come to think of it, you never had to spell things out for Steve whenever it came to you. He just always had a way of knowing.
"I don't know, Steve. Honestly. Some days are just a bit tougher than others. Today was one of those days," you murmured, avoiding the attentive gaze he was burning into your shifty eyes.
He slowly nodded as he processed your words, head falling on top of yours as you again found comfort on his shoulder. His eyes fluttered shut as you began mimicking the affection he was giving you on your thigh, rubbing his arm through the creamy cotton material of his crewneck. You hadn't seen it before. This one was new. So were the jeans he'd paired with it.
"Why're you dressed so nice, Harrington?"
He laughed more to himself than to you. "Well, the food can't be the only thing that looks good, you know? Wanted to look nice too. It's our first dinner together, after all," he mumbled the last bit.
Steve felt the skin around your eyes tighten against his shoulder as your eyebrows scrunched together. "We've had dinner together before, though."
"This one's different," he replied, almost instantly. You'd hoped Steve's eyes were still closed so that he wouldn't see the bashfulness you were weathering, plucking the corners of your lips into a soft smile.
A silence fell between the two of you. Not unusual. Not awkward. Never unusual or awkward. There was a mutual cherishment of moments like these. Shamelessly invading each other's personal space on the couch as if it was made to only fit one person, music playing lowly the distance, but preferring to listen to the sound of the other's breathing.
"How can I make you feel better, sunshine?" Steve questioned, voice still hushed. The volume of your voice wasn't much louder as you responded, thoughtlessly, "You don't have to ask me that. You make me feel better without even trying."
"Oh yeah?" He craned his neck so that his head was impossibly closer to yours, awaiting your confirmation. Steve knew that you enjoyed his company, as he did yours, but he was only joking earlier when he gushed about having such an effect on you. It was now his turn to hide his blush, when you hum, nodding your head fervently.
These were the warm moments that confused you so much more than any subject in school ever did. And unbeknownst to you, it messed with Steve's head too. He'd never been this close with anyone before. Especially not with any of his "girlfriends" in the past. Sure, they'd cuddle and talk about their feelings. But it never felt the way it does with you. Steve was in love with you. It was hopeless.
And he had to make it known. Soon. If not, he swore he'd explode.
"Ready to eat?"
"Mhm," you buzzed, untangling yourself from the envelop of Steve. As he pressed his knuckles into the sofa, willing himself up, you reached for the bottle of wine and a glass, but your hand only made it so far until it felt the sting of a petty swipe from the boy next to you. "Ah ah, missy, dinner first. Lord knows how many hours its been since you last ate."
You snorted, "Relax, it hasn't been that long."
"Oh yeah? When was the last time?" He looked at you with raised eyebrows and an expression that said he already knew your answer was going to be ridiculous. And if there was anything you learned tonight, it was that Steve was highly skilled at knowing when you were lying, so instead, you left him with a goofy smile and giggle that told him he was absolutely right in his assumption.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," the spot where he sat went cold as he left to the kitchen, fixing two plates for the both of you. You moved the drinks and glasses over to the dining table, using a nearby lighter to ignite the accompanying lavender and vanilla scented candles. Tina Turner's vinyl was replaced with Tears for Fears' album Songs from The Big Chair instead, as Steve used his elbow to dim the kitchen lights, hands full with heavy plates of pasta.
"Oh my gosh, this looks so good! Good job, Stevie," you cheered, as he set your plate down in front of you, pouring you a much needed glass of wine. Your hands shook with hunger or excitement, or both, as you picked up your fork, ready to dig in. "Yeah, don't get too psyched yet. Let's hope it tastes as good as it looks."
"I'm sure it does."
His knee rests against yours as he sits adjacent to you, gathering food on his fork, though his eyes are peering at you, awaiting your verdict. The mouthwatering smell of garlic, butter, cheese and other heaven-sent elements overwhelm your nose and you feel like you can't eat it soon enough. You pause for a beat and so does his heart, hand over your messy mouth as you chew. Steve's hand twitches as he contemplates wiping the sauce from the corners of your lips and licking his finger clean.
"Steve," you begin, eyes flickering shut. "I'm gonna need you to cook for me every night. This is so fucking good." The tension in his face eases at your palpable delight, mission well accomplished. He was proud of himself. Very proud. Almost as much as you were of him.
You throw your head back, the purest form of satisfaction consuming you. "I'm glad you like it, I've been trying to nail it for weeks," Steve laughs, finally taking a bite for himself.
"Well, you've succeeded," you beam, washing it down with a sip of wine. Everybody Wants to Rule the World begins playing and you smile at Steve, knowing it was his favorite song at the moment. You nod your head along as Steve hums. A truly peaceful pocket in time.
Through the large windows opening the living room to the rest of Hawkins, you had the perfect view of the bright lights and mountainous buildings from the neighboring city. It was like the sky had flipped on its axis and the stars weren't in the sky anymore, they were among the trees and high rise properties.
"Steve, look how pretty," you point towards the window as his gaze shifts from you to raindrop-riddled glass. "I love being able to see the city so close. Sucks that we can't see the stars, though. I've always wanted to go stargazing."
"Yeah, I remember you mentioning that a while ago. We gotta go one of these days," he replied, shoving a forkful of alfredo into his mouth.
"Oh, did you wanna go too?"
He shrugs his shoulders, chewing before speaking, "Eh, I'm not really a big stars guy. Besides, if I wanna see a pretty little light, all I gotta do is look at you," he says inattentively, going right back to eating as if he hadn't just said the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to you.
"Shut up, Harrington," you roll your eyes, letting out a half-hearted laugh as you take your last bite. How could he flirt with you so easily? So carelessly? Couldn't he see that you loved him and that whenever he says things like that it does something to you? Clueless boy.
"I'm serious. Why do you think I always call you sunshine?" He replies, not a hint of irony in his face.
"Steve," you warn, sitting back in your chair. You didn't know where this conversation was going, and you'd be damned if you got your hopes up for what you always got whenever you did: absolutely nothing.
"It's why I love when you wear yellow. Reminds me of the first time I ever saw you," he pressed. He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Clueless girl.
"Steve," your voice wavered. "What? Why do you keep saying my name like that?" He laughed, dryly.
He grew worried that he was saying too much. Saying things that a person shouldn't say to their best friend. He took a sip of his wine. Then another. Then another. He was considering just downing the whole glass. Maybe he was saying too much.
Screw that, he was in love with you.
"What're you saying to me right now?" You charged, voice a little harsher than what you'd intended, but you demanded an answer. A straightforward one. "I'm saying that I'm done hiding it."
"Hiding what?"
"That I love you."
The revelation yanks your parted lips shut, unsure of what to say next. You had dreamed for what felt like a lifetime for Steve to say those words to you and at last, it was no longer a dream, but instead reality. The rapid pace of your heartbeat could be felt in your chest and ears, and the butterflies in your stomach were more wild and untamed than ever before.
Steve's eyes didn't leave yours, though the stillness from you was killing him. The silence between you two that was once never awkward or unusual, was now painful and nearly unbearable.
Your dilated pupils scanned over his face, relentlessly. The jokey, teasing grin that he often sported when he was messing with you was unaccounted for. Holy shit. The gate to your thoughts opened once more. "You're serious," you whispered.
"How could I not be?" Steve watched you with adoring eyes, the warm light of the candle giving the melted chocolatey pond the sweetest infusion of honey.
"Kiss me."
Forks and butter knives fall to the ground with several, loud unpleasant clanks as Steve leans over the square dining table, hungrily pressing his lips against yours. His lips are garlicky and a little chapped, as yours probably are as well, yet the kiss is nothing short of perfect.
His mouth does a passionate dance against yours as you follow his lead, embracing the plush little pillows with your own. It was both everything you've imagined it'd be and nothing like you'd thought at the same time. You already knew Steve was an amazing kisser. Anyone who went to Hawkins High knew it. But experiencing it for yourself was completely different and new. It was euphoric.
The two of you have to reluctantly pull yourselves off of each other to catch your breaths. This moment was a long time coming.
Steve's hands are still holding onto to either side of your face, unwilling to let you go just yet. Truly savoring every second of the present. His breath fans across your cupid's bow, as he smiles against your lips. "You drive me crazy, you know that?"
Giggling, you wrap your palms and fingers around his wrists, rubbing your nose on his. "Sorry," you shrug, feeling his thumbs caress your warm cheeks.
"Don't be," he shakes his head, engulfing your soft lips into another kiss.
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message from jojo: pls comment and reblog if you enjoyed! it means a lot <3
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aothotties · 1 year ago
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Husband!Nanami
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word count: 983
warnings: husband!nanami, unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampie, name calling (slut), slight choking, dom nanami
Husband!Nanami wakes up extra early every morning to make you breakfast before he goes to work. He wants you to rest as much as possible knowing you’ll handle everything around the house while he’s at work
Husband!Nanami texts and calls you periodically throughout the day asking how you're doing and if you need anything from him. He also likes to send you pics of what he’s doing so you can be included in his workday 
Husband!Nanami made you quit your job when you got married because he didn't like how much it stressed you out
Husband!Nanami appreciates all you do around the house but understands it can be overwhelming sometimes and never holds it against you if you decide to be lazy 
Husband!Nanami  sends you flowers randomly while you're at home and includes notes telling you how beautiful you are and how much he loves you 
Husband!Nanami HATES working overtime because it means more time away from you
Husband!Nanami rushes straight home to you after work, excited to see what you made him for dinner. He loves your cooking and never complains and will eat every meal you make for him
Husband!Nanami helps clean up after and will dry the dishes and put them away for you after you wash them 
Husband!Nanami loves when you make his lunch for him and saves every love note you leave for him 
Husband!Nanami frequently talks about starting a family but knows that can be a lot for you and tells you he’ll never rush you into it. 
Husband!Nanami misses you all day and can't wait to see you later. His day has been hectic and knows seeing you will make everything worth it 
Husband!Nanami asks you to send him pictures of you throughout the day so he can see how pretty you look
Husband!Nanami feels the blood rush to his dick when you send a pic of your ass in his favorite lace panties and you say “ can't wait for you to get off,baby. I miss you :(“. He sends a picture of his bulge back to you to show you how easily you turn him on 
Husband!Nanami harshly grips the armrest of his chair when you send the “wish this was you instead of my fingers right now” video of you cumming all over your fingers for him 
Husband!Nanami rushes out of the office at the end of the day, not even bothering to say goodbye to his staff. He speeds out the parking lot and grows impatient when he gets stuck in traffic
Husband!Nanami damn near kicks the door down. Hes unable to wait another second and takes you as soon as he walks in 
Husband!Nanami doesn't care that dinner is burning in the oven. He has you spread out on the kitchen table with his face buried in your cunt. The only thing on his mind is making sure you cum in his mouth so he can taste it. He doesn't stop until you're spilling all over his face and he licks every drop, he loves drinking everything you give him 
Husband!Nanami pulls your body to the edge of the table and wraps your legs around his waist. As much as he wants to split you in half, he slides into you slowly, he likes to take time with your body.
Husband!Nanami clenches his jaw as he feels your pussy suck him in. the way you feel on his throbbing dick has him in a trance and he feels as if he could stay in you forever 
Husband!Nanami cant help himself when you beg him to fuck you harder. He grabs your thighs to pull you off the table and bends you over it. He wraps his veiny hand around your throat as he fucks you hard from the back. Your toes curl as he hits your sweet spot and you feel your orgasm build.
Husband!Nanami talks directly in your ear, “you love teasing me so i can fuck you like this when i get home, huh? You love when i come home and fuck you like the slut you act like?” you can't even speak as he continually slams his dick into you. His grip on your neck tightens, “answer me” he says aggressively. “Y-yes sir” , you whimper, barely able to form words as your brain becomes cloudy from the pleasure 
Husband!Nanami groans as he notices the white ring building up on the base of his dick. Your pussy clenches around his dick and you're about to cum. “Mmhm, cum for me princess. Say my name, let me hear how good I make your sweet little pussy feel” he says as he feels you approach your high, “Nanami! Sir, it feels so g-good – fuck!”. You cum for him just as you are told and he praises you for being a good slut for him
Husband!Nanami increases the pace and his tip hits your cervix. He’s getting closer and closer, “gonna cum in you mama, give you that baby i've been wanting” he states as his dick reaches deep inside you, “oh baby this pussy is so good”, he closes his eyes as he reaches his peak. A loud groan spills out his mouth as he shoots his warm load inside you. You grab his hand to let him know you want him to stay in it for just a few more seconds, you love the way it feels when his dick twitches inside you.
Husband!Nanami starts a hot shower for you and orders food since he ruined dinner
Husband!Nanami cuddles up next to you at the end of the night and pulls you into his chest. He gives you soft kisses on your forehead and tells you how much he loves you before drifting off to sleep.
Rachel
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beatrixstonehill2 · 7 months ago
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"Come on, aren't you just in love with them?" Sophia asked her boyfriend, Matt.
"Jesus, how much do those things weigh now?"
Sophia shrugged casually. "I dunno. A lot? Probably thirty pounds each, wanna weigh them?"
"Sure..... maybe later. You know, you don't have to keep doing this, Sophia. They're plenty big."
"Awwww, don't pretend to feel bad for me! I'm your girlfriend, it's my job to please you!"
"I appreciate it..... but don't you think you're taking this a bit far?"
Sophia giggled in a way that made it seem like she took this as a challenge. "You get so timid when your boyish little fantasies get exposed..... I saw all that porn on your laptop. Every other girl you jerk it to is some Influencer who grew out their boobs so much their spines snapped and they legit end up paralyzed from the shoulders down. The girls wear it like a badge of honor. I was so shocked to hear them talk so casually about their bodies being numb, not feeling their pussies, not being able to cum all because they grew such colossal boobs..... They act like it's the pinnacle of sexual appeal to be completely helpless, buried under a gigantic pair of boobs they can't even feel, only able to watch as men fuck them, encouraging them to have fun with their paralyzed bodies and not hold back. That's what you want, isn't it?"
"Sophie, you know I'd never ask that of you. Your career...."
"Being a therapist? Uh, duh, I can still do that over Zoom or Snapchat. Or my patients can come to me, trapped in bed, naked. I'll have to warn them not to mind my ponderous, 200lb-breasts. They're for my boyfriend, just try to ignore them! Or..... if men have pent up frustration, it might be a great way to get some of that anger and trauma out on what will amount to a pair of massive, fatty punching bags. I think that'll be an excellent option for my patients. Of course, I'll at least still be able to suck your cock and taste your cum, that'll be all I need--honest! And if you don't mind I can reward my clients by sucking their cocks, if they like...... this might be fun for the both of us after all!"
"Jesus, you're seriously committed to this?"
Sophia groped her oversized breasts, which were a D-Cup when they started dating only six months ago. "What gave it away? So, are you done pretending you don't want me to grow a pair of the biggest, heaviest, back-breaking tits you've ever seen?"
"Shit..... you are such a freak, I could marry a girl like you....."
"Down boy. Let's wait til my spine snaps! I'll look so much better getting wheeled down the aisle, my boobs well over 100lbs, wearing only a garter belt and veil, ooooo, maybe you can put huge hoops rings through my nipples at the altar? Not like I'll feel you piercing them. Won't that be fun?"
"Nothing would make me happier than to show your rich, snobby family what a good, obedient girl you turned out to be."
Sophia smiled, running over to kiss Matt, squishing her hefty breasts against his chest. Feeling that made both of them realize that although her breasts were absurdly large now, they were ultimately tiny compared to what they'd look like in another year or two.
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secretress · 5 months ago
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❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐝𝐨𝐦. 𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧, 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.❞
A love letter from your future spouse
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Pac Summary!
♡ A fs love letter.
♡ One angel number with an intuitive message/meaning of the number.
♡ Resonated channeled song and its lyrics with intuitive messages added to it.
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Moodboard | Divider
Pile I
Hi love, hi sunshine.
What's up? How are you doing, my pretty flower? Well, in all honesty, I am awful with words, and a love letter is hard, but I will suck it up just to show my love for you.
Sometimes. When I look at the stars, I will think about you. Sometimes, when I glance at lily ponds, I will daydream about you. And sometimes when I call you, I fawn over the little things you do, because every little thing you do is incredibly beautiful and deserves to be fawn over.
Sometimes, when I struggle and miss your presence, I remember that I can always call you and ramble about the small things during my days. I can find that solace even if we are far apart... And sometimes that scares me because what if we lost touch with one another—that I would never get to see you? All of these doubts eat me alive, but then I hear your small laughs about my days, and all of them disappear.
Do you think one day we could start a family? Maybe I believe anything is possible—after all, I landed someone as perfect as you (psst, I manifested you). So the fact that I have you as my lover makes me wonder if I can ever have kids with you. We can adopt too; I don't care, but having biological kids with you would also be so lovely.. After all, everything about you is lovely. I am someone who always gives too much love to others, so if it's too much, let me know, but loving you is so easy. How can one stop that? That scares me.. If you ever told me to stop loving you so much, it would make me feel like I was losing a small part of myself. Quite frankly, I don't think I could ever deal with that—I just, I just couldn't.
When I looked at the sky the other day, I kept thinking about our connection. I know we don't know each other. Hell, I'm fucking daydreaming about you right now, but I really want to see you. Maybe one day we will meet each other, and when we do, I will become the happiest person alive. Because the idea of loving someone I am manifesting is something.. It's.. it's just. I can't express it with words, but it's definitely something so magical. Everything in my heart is fluttering with happiness because I get to see you smile in my presence. I always thought I wasn't worthy of love. Look at us. Fuck. Thank you for loving me.
Thank you (x5) for loving me.
Fs. 
I was listening to Terrified by Katharine McPhee, and as I was editing your reading at "when I look at stars'' the song said, ''every word feels like a shooting star.'' So for those who have doubts about this relationship, do understand that this is really your confirmation.
Angel numbers: 1222
Meaning of 1222 through an intuitive message. 1 is usually associated with goals and what you're looking for. 2 is usually associated with reminding you that everything is going to be okay and that you are in the right place. Combining both of them, intuition says, ‘’you are in the right place. All the hard work you have been doing for yourself—all the shadow work that you have been journaling, all the beautiful messages you have been giving to yourself—is what will help you find your goals. Your ideas which you keep postponing are something that needs to be done. Stop procrastinating and do it right now. You will never know when the right time comes since it doesn't exist. Make it your right time.’’ Basically, intuition says there is no such thing as diving timing. Divine timing doesn't actually exist since it's all about healing and treating ourselves with kindness. It's all about what we do during those times we have during our isolation, or, in a positive sense, our resting period. Truthfully, since you are working on yourself and removing your inner demons for yourself and not for others (since I heard that a lot of people think you are doing it for a boy when you aren't), you can attract your future spouse with the speed of light and grab the fruits. The fruits are your manifestations or your wishes in life. 
Channeled song: 
Invisible - Hunter Hayes
‘’And you've been trying for so long / To find out where your place is.’’ This is about you trying to figure out where you belong. Intuition says people in your life believe all the hard work you are doing is for this man, your ex, or someone you used to have feelings for. The people in your circle are very close-minded, but deep down inside, the fear of letting go of these connections scares you, so you let them stay. If I were in your place, I would let them go since people like that don't deserve to be in my world. And I feel like some of you will say, ‘’yeah because you aren't dealing with it’’ and for those who have said that, lol, I just let go of a friend group like that 2-3 weeks ago. So let them go and realize all the beauty that will come out of it.
‘’And you're not invisible / Hear me out / There's so much more to life than what you're feeling now / Someday you'll look back on all these days / And all this pain is gonna be invisible.’’ This is your future spouse calling out to you and yearning for your love. They are letting you know that when you look back on your life, you are not only going to feel blessed with how your life went but also come to the realization that there is more to life than the negativity you are feeling and associating yourself with. This person is going to make you feel like magic, (which is something you deserve, and you cannot tell me otherwise).
‘’So your confidence is quiet / To them, quiet looks like weakness / But you don't have to fight it / 'Cause you're strong enough to win without a war.’’ Basically, intuition says your intuition and higher self are telling you, ‘’even though you are a quiet person. Despite you being timid, none of these are bad qualities; it makes you stronger because you are observing everything and you know others' deepest, darkest secrets through their behaviors. So don't let your skills go in vain.’’ To sum it up, if there is any confusion, people perceive quiet and shy people as fragile and needing help, but in reality, it could be that or they have no desire to speak to people that do not intrigue them or aren't worth their time. People don't see that because they are lost in fitting in with the crowd. Your higher self and my intuition are saying, don't fit in the crowd and do your own thing. Not only will that attract your fs but also heal your heart that you have been blocking with bricks to protect yourself from the pain your inner circle is causing and your deadbeat parent (I hear father, but I also believe it could be the mother for some).
‘’These labels that they give you is just 'cause they don't understand / If you look past this moment / You'll see you've got a friend / Waving a flag for who you are.’’ And lastly :), this is your fs telling you that they will always have your back no matter what. And they love you so fucking badly. Emphasis on so fucking badly, I could hear your fs tell me to add that in. 
Masterlist ♡
Pile II
Hi, my love. 
As your future spouse, it’s my duty to defend and honor our promises, but sometimes I mess up because I'm shy. I'm sorry in advance, but I try very hard, but I mess things up. Sometimes I feel like a child when you scold me.. I know sometimes you feel disappointed with the things I do, but I ask you.. As of now, please treat me with more dignity and respect. I'm human, just like you. Do you think a child deserves this treatment? No. 
Okay, before I fully channel everything, this pile has toxic energy. You have caused your fs an insane amount of anxiety and trauma, so now that you are aware of this. Why don't you improve as a person? This person is absolutely soft and adorable, and they do not deserve that type of energy).
Sometimes, at night, I like to walk along the streams or near our pond area in our backyard and feel the coolness around my feet. The water tickles my feet gently, and the water droplet splashes around the soles of my feet. The feeling is so warm and relaxing, just like you once were. What happened to that? Why did you let them take away (your name's)  golden heart? Why do I deserve the same treatment when I was by your side this whole time? I was never and will never be your enemy, so please change for the better. I want (your name) back; (your gender) was deserving of the greatest, and so am I. Please go back to them and let me honor my promise again. I wanted to protect you, but now it’s too hard. I cannot do it anymore. I am writing this love letter to you in the hopes that you change for the better. In hopes my words and my love being poured onto this can shift you and make you realize that you are now the reason I despise myself, the reason why I struggle to love myself. I don't want to stay in this stale situation; I want to move on, and I want you to move on and treat me better. So maybe.. I will now try to show you the love we felt when we met instead of now. Since you feel like poison.
When we danced in the park that one night, the moonlight shone on top of us. Like we were the main characters of a romantic movie. Do you remember that feeling when we were laughing together and I finally saw you smile? That happiness shattering your stoic face—it was incredible. I realized that that was the moment I fell in love with you. My heart jumped out of my chest that day. Do you remember when we had small dates with each other and you bought me something small? You thought I wouldn't wear it because of your ex(es), but I did, and your eyes widen. Do you remember that softness appearing on your face that day? I remember it vividly. I blushed that day and hid it with a cough. Do you remember me constantly coughing that day, and you wondered why this was happening? Do you remember how I kicked your shoes and said it was an accident so you could look under the table and not notice me covering my flushed face because of that facial expression you had? The realization that someone did, in fact, love you. God, I remember that feeling so well. It made me so happy. I remember all of these small moments with you, and I know that you will. One day, it will happen just as it should.. But then something happened: you shut everyone away, especially me, and sabotage everything at the end because it was better to be a cold-hearted bitch than stay and let me protect you. Please, (your name), realize that I love you despite what you have done to me. I can forgive you; I really can, but I want your real self back. Let me love them, let me shower them with compliments; just let me back in. 
I forgive you,
Fs. 
So this is written in past and future tense. Of course, these dates haven’t happened for you, however, I wasn’t able to channel them from a present perspective for the majority of the letter. They were focused on pouring their love on you without thinking. It was a desperate call for you to change and not become cold. And for many of you, not for you to become the one thing you hated. So instead, learn to heal your open wounds and better yourself instead of being an ass in the future. 
Angel number: 777.
Usually, 777 is associated with good luck, or good luck and prosperity are heading your way. However, intuition says, ‘’despite good luck (your fs) coming your way, allowing those icky thoughts to reappear constantly in your head is what will mess things up in the future with your fs. In order to remove these thoughts, work on your inner feelings and improve yourself. Do not allow evil to invade who you are as a person, and instead, allow the kindness that you still have to shine upon you and shield you from the dangers of others. Become the person you desire and still love. Do not become them, you will be miserable.’�� So, basically, working on your inner feelings is healing your inner demons. Everyone deals with them, but it’s our responsibility to actually take care of them and make them angels, or, in this case, remove them from your system. Taking care of them or removing them, however you see fit, is all about being kind to yourself and removing the high standards you have for yourself. And in order to be kind to yourself, think of your favorite person, object, whatever, and think, ‘’would I be a jackass to them/it?’’ No, you would treat it or them with respect and love because it’s your favorite thing. Think of it like that with yourself. You can use your kindness to protect yourself. Usually, kindness has a bad reputation because people who are kind either become people pleasers, get taken advantage of, etc., but you could always balance your kindness and rational thoughts so you don’t get hurt like your future self did. Because this situation has not occurred yet, as of now, try to balance those two out. Also, imagine that (your favorite color) aura or bubble is surrounding you and protecting you from evil. 
Channeled anime: 
Death Note 
I am aware this is completely different, and you were promised a song, but I wasn’t able to do that as Light from death note kept appearing in my mind. For those who are watching this, ignore this since there are spoilers, and if you are still curious, I’ll keep it as vague as I can. 
(Please, remember, this is about your future self. Not your present self). 
The reason my intuition mentioned an anime instead of a song is how Light, the main character, became the person he hated. This is what you have become. His desires were to protect the innocent, but ultimately he did the opposite. As time goes on throughout the show, he starts to become power-hungry, but in your case, it’s a lust for isolation. He saw everything as a game, and with you, you used your kindness as an advantage to abuse your spouse (I know you are saying you would never, but you did in the future). And also, hurt your friends to gain advantages or small tokens of something to get ahead of life and get whatever you want. Not only, in the future, do you break your morals, lose your respect from others and your inner child, but fuck things up all for power. Power, isolation, and hatred for what others did to you. Do you believe this is worth it just because you were hurt? Why do you want to hurt people who didn't do anything? You got hurt, sought revenge on those who didn't hurt you, and became like your abusers. Your future self keeps mentioning, ‘’karma’s a bitch.’’ And yet, how can it be if it’s aimed at those who cannot do much? I know you want to be protected and understood, but how can you if you allowed this to occur and pushed those away who were, in fact, protecting you but in the shadows? Use this as your guide and change for the better since fate doesn’t exist, not really. And if you believe in it, then change your fate. Become your own guide and improve. Because your energy will be awful, the way you have treated others in the future will be awful, and I feel the anxiety radiating off of you—you don't like who you have become in the future. So, don't change, protect yourself instead.
Masterlist ♡
Pile III
Hi sun, hellooo to my sun. Hi, hi, hiiii, hi. 
I’m saying a lot of hi to you because I'm ecstatic to be around you. Your personality makes me very happy, yay. You're reading this right now, so lucky me. I just have to say this: I wish right now you were with me so I could run to you, jump into your arms, and peck you like a goose, and if you ever become sick with me, well, you can't! I won't allow it, so that means you can’t pick someone else; only me, me and drum roll, please! Me!
I really love talking to you–OH wait, well, we haven't met yet, but I do! We will stay up all night talking to each other, and the thought makes me giggle~ You are my favorite sun person… Well, I know you are going to call me the sun, but nope! I am the star around the moon waiting for you, so when you go up and chase your ambitious goals, I am at home rooting for you. Sorry, I'm a homebody, so I don't like going out so much, but I'll go out just for you! That is how special you are; of course, I can't really explain it through this letter, so we have to meet first! With that being said, you are the sun because you brighten up my world and everyone around you. I know right now you are feeling depressed, but fear not! I am coming; actually, psttt, I am dashing towards you like Sonic, and if Mario had a baby, wait. NO WAIT, I MEANT IF SONIC AND THE FLASH HAD A BABY OMG NOOO IM SORRY. As I was saying, coughs if Sonic and the flash had a baby together—that’s how fast I am coming to–ru–RUNNING TO YOU, FUCK IM SORRY. I'M SO EXCITED, I KNOW I DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE BUT I AM EXCITED. Anyway, as I am saying, I am running to you if the flash and Sonic had a baby together, because that’s how fast I am, and in other places, if you know what I mean, raising my eyebrows in a funny but sexy way. 
Oh, that reminds me, btw: don't eat green apples when we meet because you're going to choke on them and die! No, I am joking about the die part, but you do choke a lot, and I become very scared because we are friends at that time, and well, I think youre going to die, but I know that you aren't, but I think you might, so it scares me and I can't handle it, and now I am rambling, but you get the point, so no apples for a week, so that means you are kind of like a horse on a diet... Even though they eat apples, imagine that you are a horse who can't eat apples! Yes!!! Oh, wait, why would you be a horse? Okay, wait, it doesn't matter because you are my horse, so that makes me a princess/prince and therefore you gotta protect me. Wait.
This is a love letter, NOOOOOOO, wait. Lets start! I love you so much. You make me so happy that I can ramble on for no reason, and you are enjoying every part of it. Thats why I like things about you because you listen to me and hear me out, and you make me happy. I am rambling again, but this time it doesn't matter because it's all abouttttt yooooouuuuu. Yeah so i love you A LOT and YOU mean the WOOOORRRRLLLLDDDD to me and thank you for being–THANK YOU FOR–WAIT. I AM GLAD THAT I WILL MEET YOU, SO THEN THANK YOU FOR BEING IN MY WORLD. All this present and future stuff is making my head spin, like those anime drawings of the characters or the other animations or drawing pieces you see on websites or drawing platforms. Oh yeah, did you know that I am an artist? Yeah, me neither, thats because you taught me how to draw gremlin laugh, but yeah, cya later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The bestestttt (not a word i know that shut up, grumpy face) perrrrrrssssssoooooooonnnnn evvvvveeeeeerrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! Ya gal/lad is outie five thousand!
I kept feeling rambling and childlike wonder with your future spouse. You make them very comfortable with who they are as a person, and with this, they can channel their inner child with you. You will show them new hobbies, and because of this, in the future, it will become their career. So despite this, if some of you are not artists, you will be opening a new world for them in the art field because art isn’t only drawing, animation, etc.; it does have music or poetry involved. 
Angel number: 1313.
On an energy level, the number symbolizes a goal you had in mind shifting and transforming into your reality because you were able to trust your gut feelings and allow things to come into your nature. You used to be afraid of change or those who gave you things; asking for help scared you. Now you are healing toward that goal and learning to let go when people help. You are able to prioritize things that make you happy, even if it’s a one-time thing, because chasing things does become hard, but knowing now that you are able to get the things you want makes you blessed. You embody the attitude of gratitude, and from now on until the end of August, things will come in abundance. Keep embodying this attitude to further it until the end of the year. When the end of the year comes, make more goals for yourself, but find goals that are worth what you are looking for. Understand who your higher self is, and ask them what goals helped them become who they are now. Your higher self isn’t necessarily your future self; you worked hard to become your desired self. So make sure you learn what is actually important for you while also listening to the same gut feeling that you have. People say 13 in general is an unlucky number. Still, some people ditch their ideas on the number and make it their favorite number. Intuition says not to follow people’s guidance when it comes to things that don't make sense; don’t follow the crowd if it’s not something you are actually agreeing on or intrigued with. Make sure to follow what you believe in, and if people find that to be stubborn, then who cares? Make sure you do things that make you happier in the long term before you meet this ray of sunshine. 
Channeled Song: 
Sunsetz - Cigarettes after sex
‘’Strangely, there's nobody else around / So you open your dress and show me your t*ts / On the swing set at the old playground / And when you go away I still see you / The sunlight on your face in my rearview.’’ Aside from the 18+ nature of the song, the minute I heard it play, I knew it was from your future spouse. As we are aware, they are full of light and embody a star nature; this song beat felt the same way. When the song said, ‘’Strangely, there's nobody else around / So you open your dress and show me your t*ts’’ I heard your future spouse laugh at this because, despite their gender, they are prone to being open about the sexual world. And the idea of showing their chest to you makes them excited. Of course, this isn’t an 18+ reading, so I cannot add more. ‘’On the swing set at the old playground / And when you go away I still see you’’  is about them showing you all of their childish nature and you accepting them. Because I hear your future spouse mention, ‘’thank you very much for accepting me for who I am. I had many people ignore me or disrespect me constantly because I had to act my age. But you were the only one in the entire worrrrrldddd to accept and love me without expecting anything.’’ Also, intuitively, they are always going to daydream cute scenarios with you and see you as a cutie despite your rough nature. Because everywhere they go and explore the depths of the world, you will have to accompany them. In the flesh or not. They will daydream you near them if you cannot make it or if it's a long-distance relationship (for some). 
‘’A love that nobody could destroy / Took photographs like Brautigan's book covers / That we both adored.’’ So, I feel a lot of third parties coming into this relationship on their side. A lot of people are jealous of them and cannot handle the fact that they finally found someone who appreciates their true qualities. So a lot of toxic people will try to sabotage the friendship at first and then eventually the relationship, and they are naive, so they might believe it, so be careful with that. Eventually, though, I do see them realizing it, and the fact that you stayed makes them love you harder, hence all the ramblings (you making them comfortable to do so). Both of you are going to take a lot of pictures together and post them on social media, whereas those who don’t use social media often will make collages out of them and decorate them around their room or apartment. Some will hide it from their parents, and others will boast about it positively. Just stay careful, because you never know other people’s intentions with it. ‘’That we both adored.’’ This just shows how healthy and beautiful the relationship will become for you when they ask you out. I feel a lot of you always ask other people out, and you have mentioned it to them once, so the idea of asking you out makes them happy because it’s removing a boulder off your shoulder. All I will say is that they will be the reason why you find true happiness since a majority of you are chasing the idea of happiness. With them, you can feel it and keep it; it’s not a one time thing; this leads to a beautiful thing. I’ll stop here since I don't want to give you any spoilers about it. 
Masterlist ♡
Pile IV
Tw: Abuse
Hi, my dear,
Right now, I have been feeling down in the dumps. Things have been tough, very tough. Lately, I have been struggling to find happiness in my life. And I was praying for something, anything to feel something. But nothing came through, this broke me further. Then I started to realize something.. Why should I ask someone for help when I can do it myself?
So that is what I have been doing. I'm working on myself, so when we meet, you have someone you can be devoted to. I know it sounds like I'm not actually taking care of myself, but I am. And it sounds like I am only working on myself for you, as if all of this is for you and not me; some of it is partially true, but at the same time, I am thinking of myself. It’s important that you do the same thing, because I know you like to do things for other people but don't.
You know, I see you struggling to get your job or homework done. I am in the same boat. We are the same after all. I think it’s special that we are on the same path, the same journey, and most of all, the same love level. We both had it rough with a lover, but you know what? We can make that our special bond; I'm not saying that is what our relationship is about—I'm saying it could connect us further and see where everything takes us. You know how people bond over something negative, and that makes them fall for one another? I don't want that. (I hear them laughing and then smiling). All I am saying with my gibberish words is that sometimes people use their trauma to bond with each other, but they can like other things. Does that make sense? Sorry, love, I'm absolute garbage with words. Everything is a mess, isn't it? Again, sorry. Now, I want to start with the actual love letter.
Dear (your name),
Our future is bright. It’s beautiful. I will be the one to shower you with all the riches and luxuries in the world, and all I ask for is your beautiful heart. The heart that you have hidden from the world from all the negativities you were given isn't you anymore. We are connected like one. This is your reward for still staying sane. I know everything as of now is complicated, but do know I will find you one day, have a rose in my hand, and ask you to be mine. I know that sometimes you doubt if I will ever come, but remember that those who wait have the best rewards. Sure, I sound arrogant, but no, I know my worth in the future, and I know you will too. It’s okay to appear arrogant; what matters is on the inside. People's judgment is useless, just like their opinions of us. So don't focus on their chaotic and negative words; focus on what I tell you. I want to guide you and make you love yourself so much. Even when you know your worth, let me show you all that you can know. I want to marry you one day. I want to bathe you with all of my love. I want everything from you, and I will give you everything. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met. I know that we haven't met, but I will say the same thing because it’s the truth. This is why I love you, (your full name). Thank you for being my blessing and for being my princess (regardless of your gender). 
Take care with lots of love,
fs.
Angel number: 2266 
2 is about being in the right place, and whoever you believe in is telling you that you shouldn’t worry. 6 is about mental diet, focusing on the positive to align you with your higher self. Whenever negative thoughts appear, remind yourself that this isn’t good for you. Negativity isn't good for anyone. Remind yourself that you are deserving of love. Learn to heal with patience and care. If you force yourself to heal, you never will. Forcing ourselves isn’t consistency; it’s abuse. Sure, sometimes it looks like it helps us, but then we stop doing it and relapse into the same loop. Do you like to be controlled and forced by others? I doubt it. Don't do the same thing; you are not deserving of it. What you are deserving of is love. Give yourself the love you deserve and need. It's important that you prioritize yourself instead of others' needs since people come and go, and don't be the one to let yourself go for someone else. It's not worth it, and your love and presence aren't determined by whether someone appreciates the good deeds you do for others. Your worth is dependent on what you do for yourself, so if you believe taking time for yourself and doing something for yourself is selfish, then it's selfish. But would you say the same thing to the people you work your ass off for? No, don't be a hypocrite to yourself. 
 Channeled song:
Therapy Session - NF
‘’My music is violent, you gotta be kidding me. I guess that your definition of violence and mine is something that we look at differently.’’ This is your fs telling you to start looking at things differently. You always see the good in people, even when they make a mistake. Even when they piss you off, even when they hurt you (not by accident), you always forgive them without a second thought. Don't do that, it’s hurting you just like it’s hurting them. ‘’Do you honestly want to be stuck in quicksand all the time? Don't do that, princess. I cannot handle it.’’ 
‘’How do you picture me, huh? Want me to smile? You want me to laugh? You want me to walk on the stage with a smile on my face. When I'm mad and put on a mask? For real though!’’ This is how both of you feel. Always wearing a mask and acting around for other people’s entertainment. It’s not worth it to put on a mask unless you have to protect yourself. Intuition says that you do, but remember to be careful. Do not do things that you cannot control, so if someone says otherwise and then threatens you because you didn’t. Then try to not allow them to step on you and subtly mention something to get their insults away from you. For example, intuition says, ‘’when you see them talking crap about you, don’t allow it. Stand up for yourself with something small. If they say how disgusting or how ugly you looked today, tell them that you disagree, and that’s it. Keep in mind that protecting yourself isn’t always causing war with one another, but saying something like this can stop a lot of issues and keep it as if you are having a normal conversation.’’ 
 ‘’I am aware it's aggressive. I am not here for acceptance.’’ Your future spouse is telling you to stop seeking acceptance from the people you help. Learn to seek acceptance from yourself. That is the person you have at the end of the day. Intuition is telling me some of you are a system (DID). So intuitively speaking, rely on your protectors. Ask them to take care of you and help guide you when people are rude to you. I know controlling and altering isn’t like control, but intuition says, ‘’ask them. Let them know how you are feeling, and ask them like a friend. It’s okay to vent to them; they want to help you after all. Those who do not accept you because of what you went through are not worth your time or the value you place on them. You are deserving of more, but you must allow it to come through.’’ 
‘’Apparently he likes to beat on her mama. I got so angry inside. I wanted to tell her to give me his number. But what you gon' do with it right? You gon' hit him up then he'll start hitting her harder.’’ This is your life. Your energy. It can be switched where your mom beats your dad, stepdad. Your grandparents, etc. Your future spouse will be protecting you from them, (and yes, they will love you despite having DID, loves. Don’t worry). Except instead of the abuser hitting your guardian more or you, they won’t allow it. I am hearing a cop signal sound, so it’s possible that they will beat your abuser endlessly and get your abuser to jail (this is for some), and on the other hand, expect someone who is going to love you dearly and protect you from the “wicked witch of the west. I’ll protect you with all of my heart, and my soul is yours as your soul is mine.’’ 
Masterlist ♡
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kimsunos · 3 months ago
Note
IM SO HAPPY UR INTO HYBRIDS OMFGGWHSI
gawd ok it's cliche but idc, bunny!reader and fox!sunoo, horny x horny lmao
going at it for hours on the regular all while being loud asf and not giving a shit abt anything, sooo many quickies and heats go even crazier dare i say it'd make satan blush, a match made in hell for others lmao.
hii baby! dont even know if youre into it still because i made you wait too much for it and for that i apologize 😢 but nonetheless i LOVE rambling about hybrids so here goes nothing.. Also this is very long for no reason
cw: female reader, fox!sunoo, bunny!reader, dom!sunoo, sub!reader, primal play, kinda perv!sunoo (gasp), biting kink, degradation, dacryphillia, dumbification, breeding kink, name calling (bunny, bitch, etc), spit play? (sunoo licks her lmao), sunoo is a sly fox 🧐 also he says "bunny" a lot.
your parents, since you were little, warned about the precautions needed to take as a prey. and as a family of rabbit hybrids, you were, of course, a bunny with big, fuzzy ears on top of your head and a toothy, cute, happy smile.
you always thought this judgement your parents and all the older rabbits had towards predators was stupid. "don't go near wolves", "don't talk to lions", "bears can smell you from miles away", "never trust foxes". this is modern times, we are not savages anymore! oh, if you had just listened to their advice.
"you can't imagine how long i've been dreaming about this." said sunoo, the gentle fox hybrid that every day ordered a drink at the coffee shop you worked, now, not as gentle, as he pushes your head on the mattress and thrusts mercilessly into your pussy from behind. you'd never have imagined that the date and the shy kiss you shared at the end of your work hours would end this way.
"bunny... my bunny," he said, voice intoxicated with desire, and slowed down his movements, lowered himself to rest his bare chest against your back and slowly dragged his nose from your cheek to your neck, sniffing in your scent gland, absorbing it like a hungry man. "oh, god, your scent..." another big sniff, "always drove me crazy, bunny. did you know that?"
with your face on the mattress, you could only whine and wiggle your fluffy tail, voice muffled by the pillow, falling into the pleasure of his cock making you feel so full. sunoo laughed, his movements now at a quicker pace.
"you're so fucking innocent, baby," another laugh, his breath unsteady, going deep at you, hips doing wonders to reach your most sensitive spots. "you really thought i was just a nice guy, huh? coming everyday at your job, sitting at that table in the back... such a nice costumer, big tips too." you could hear the smirk in his voice, condescending tone, his sharp nails drawing circles on your back, gracious movements contrasting with the mess he's making of you. "the truth is, i could barely contain myself in that small cafe, bunny." his scratches would for sure be visible the next day. "so ready to please and so naive. bet you didn't even notice the way my hands would always find yours, the way i watched your movements... or did you?" you whined as he talked. "remember when i offered a bite of that brownie to you? and you sucked on the plastic spoon like a bitch in heat, hungry eyes on mine and shit?"
no verbal response from you but a clench, embarrassed to be caught red-handed. such unwise actions, bunny. a rabbit flirting with a fox? really? and you still had the audacity to think you were in control.
"fucking answer me, bitch." sunoo yanked you by your furry ears, hard enough to lift your body off the mattress, placing your back against his chest again, making you moan loudly. his movements getting faster, skin on skin noises mixing with the red-haired boy's animalistic grunts and your cries.
"s-sun, slow d-down, ple-"
"oh, bunny," he laughs. "you want me to slow down? hm?~" hand still with a firm grip on your ears, causing you to bend your neck in an almost uncomfortable position, if it wasn't for the pleasure washing over all your other emotions. "p-poor bunny, can't handle big dick? this is what you're made for, can't you even do that?" and there you were, crying, overwhelmed by the degradation and how it made your insides even more wet.
"oh, god," his hips hitting even faster now, you could feel him losing all his control. "god, f-fuck- bunny, don't do this to me~" he said, releasing your ears to grip your hips, you could only cry. turning your head sideways, you meet his foxy eyes and vertical pupils now blown out in complete insanity, seeing you cry, your most prey-like state, ears down in submission and everything, it made the predator in him fucking crazy. "bunny- b-bunny, my bunny-" he started licking your tears away, chanting your name like in a trance. "b-bunny, i'll make you m-mine, 'mmkay? will y-you let me?" he kissed your neck, stopping to paint your skin with hickeys then and there. "s-stuff you full of me, baby, knock you up real good, hm?~" his voice was whiny and loud as he bit you, sharp fangs poking at your neck, and another bite, and another, almost like trying to literally eat you alive.
"nnngh- oh, s-sunoo, s'deep, f-full." you mutter, no thoughts behind your eyes.
"shhh, baby- i know, r-right?~ don't worry, turn off your brain, l-let me do the thinking for you."
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nisuna · 9 months ago
Note
Need more yuuji smut!!
So hear me out-
bestfriend!yuuji finding your depressed ass in the park while it's raining and you're soaked. So he takes you home and take care of you and puts you to sleep in jis clothes.
Then wakes you up by eating you out and then .. you know.. the rest of the stuff
Holy shit am I in my angst era? 😭 Yuji is 100% my comfort character, so this was very nice to write. He's so boyfriend oml I love him so much<3 I don't even care if this does well or not. I really needed this, tysm for the idea!!<3
⚠️ If you or anyone you know struggles with their mental health or has thoughts like these, please look up your local s*uic*de prevention hotlines. Everybody deserves to get help, and everyone deserves to live. It might not always be as easy as in my little story, but please look after yourselves, I love you all so much and thank you all for all of the love and support🫶🏻 As someone who's been struggling with their mental health ever since their early teens I can say that I definitely can't speak for everyone on this matter, but maybe some will find comfort and familiarity in this
TW: angst, s*icid*l ideation, mentions of declining mental health, hurt and comfort, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, cream pie, body worship, nipple play, body appreciation, mating press, confession, a lot of crying, this is so dear to my heart, supportive!bff!yuji
~2,8k words~
<3masterlist<3
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--------mature themes ;strictly 18+ MDNI-----------
Everything has been fucked lately. Your job sucks, school isn't going great, your social life is almost nonexistent, your family is a mess and you just want some peace and calm. You've been home constantly, but you just can't stand it anymore, which is exactly why you went outside for some fresh air. And as if the universe was giving you the middle finger as well, it started raining. But you just couldn't be bothered anymore. Life sucks and your mental health is declining. So you don't even flinch at the rain hitting your lowered head. You don't care that your clothes are soaked at this point. You just sit there and take it. You've been sitting here for what feels like hours. There has been multiple nosy on lookers that passed by mumbling. Some of them showed concern, but some of them were threw disgusted looks at you and assumed you're some kind of junkie that's loitering around in their peaceful park. You couldn't care less, nobody was actually brave enough to approach you anyway, so you let them talk.
It's getting cold, but you can't bring yourself to move. You're soaked and it's getting dark, but you feel like you have nowhere to go. You're starting to feel numb, your hands and feet are cold and you almost can't feel them anymore. This is actually quite nice, you're neither sad nor mad, you feel empty, but it's not uncomfortable like it usually is. You feel calm, you're not worried. You think that freezing to d*ath might actually be a good way to go. It would be like falling asleep without having to ever wake up again. For the first time in weeks you felt yourself smile. You've made up your mind, nobody will miss you anyway so why bother. But as you were about to lie down, you heard a familiar voice screaming your name.
"What the hell-", you thought to yourself as you sat back up and looked around. You didn't have to wait long before seeing a familiar figure run towards you.
"Y/N!!! Where are-? Oh my god there you are. I looked everywhere for you. What are you doing?", he reached out to grab your shoulders, only for you to flinch away.
"Yuji, what are you doing here?"
"Well, you weren't picking up my calls and I got worried." When you didn't give him an answer, he continued, "Are you alright? Whoa you're soaked and my god you're ice cold c'mon let's get you home. I don't want you to get sick.", he grabbed your hand, trying to get you off that bench. But you didn't budge.
"Y/N? What's wrong c'mon let's go-"
"No, I'm fine, really. Just leave me be."
"What are you even saying? How could I? You are in no condition to be left alone. It's freezing and you're soaked c'mon let's go home-"
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE GODDAMN IT!", you screamed and felt tears leave your eyes. Shit. When you reached up to wipe away at your eyes, Yuji stopped you and wiped your tears with his sleeve instead.
"Y/N I don't know what's going on, but please let me help.", he knelt down, squeezing your trembling hands and giving you a warm smile.
"Why do you care so much?", that came out way too wobbly for your liking.
"Why do I care? Y/N, you're my best friend of course I care. How could I not? Look at you."
You were at a loss of words, so he continued. "Is it okay if I touch you more?" Nod. As soon as you gave him the okay he pulled you into a tight hug. It took you a bit to relax, but you eventually gave in and let your emotions run wild. You were shaking, crying loudly in his embrace. All the built-up tension of the past weeks came flooding out, but he was there to catch you. He held you close as you let go. He didn't say a word until you calmed down a bit.
He pulled away to take a look at your puffy face. "Let's go over to mine, hm? What do you say?"
"Fuck it.", you thought as you nodded and got up.
"Want me to carry you?"
"No, that's embarassing. I can walk alright.", you huffed.
"Don't worry, it's late. Nobody will see."
"Okay."
After he wrapped you up in his jacket, you got on his back and let him carry you to his apartment. He's so warm and smells really good. You subconsciously nuzzled your face closer to him. Falling asleep like this would be way nicer than alone. You thought of that as you closed your eyes and hugged him tighter.
Luckily, he only lived a couple blocks away from the park. He was gentle when he set you down as soon as you arrived.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it.", there it was again, his sweet smile. "You should go take a bath before you get sick. I'll lend you some of my clothes." Nod.
------
You felt like a new human being after the warm bath. His clothes were also warm and smelled like him. It was oddly comforting. Has he always smelled this good? Your thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice.
"Oh wow, you look better already.", he grinned.
"Yeah", you cracked a smile back at him, "I do feel a lot better. Thanks a lot."
"Of course! Now, what do you want to eat, you must be starving? How long were you out there anyway?"
"All day actually...", you confessed.
His shocked expression made you giggle as he pushed you into his kitchen.
After a good meal he said you could go sleep in his bed. He'd sleep on the couch tonight. But you stopped him. "I don't want to be alone. Can you sleep with me tonight."
"Sure, I thought you needed some space and didn't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Can we cuddle too?"
"We can do whatever you need."
That's how you found yourself back in his arms for the nth time today. The atmosphere was calm, as you were exchanging occasional remarks while watching something. You don't know what overcame you, but you just felt so safe and taken care of that you leaned in for a kiss. However, you quickly pulled away when you felt him stiffen up and not kiss you back.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. God, I'm so stupid. You probably hated that. Shit, please don't hate me-"
"No, please calm down, it's alright. It's not that I don't like this. It's just..."
"Just what?"
"You're in a very fragile state right now. I don't want you to do something you might regret."
"But I'm sure, I really want this-"
"Sleep it over. Just one night and if you still feel like it tomorrow I'm down. I'm here for you. We can cuddle all you want, though. I just don't want to take advantage of you."
You shot him your biggest pity pout and when that didn't work you gave in. "Alright, alright, I guessss.", you huffed and fell into his embrace. Both of you didn't talk much after that, there was a bit of tension, but you didn't act on it. When you finally drifted off to sleep it was enveloped in his warmth and smell.
You haven't slept this well in a long time. And you definitely haven't been woken up this nicely in a long time, either.
After such a good night's sleep you didn't expect to wake up to your best friend between your thighs, lapping away at your pussy.
"Hi, good morning", he rasped, morning voice heavy. "You just looked so cute wiggling around in my arms and when I checked you were already so wet down there. Sorry, I couldn't resist.", he said while softly kissing up your thigh.
"It's alright, let me wake up first, though ah-", you couldn't finish your sentence, because your head snapped back with a moan, as he dove back between your legs.
"Sorry, but I need this just as bad as you do. You taste so good. God, I've been missing out on this this whole time? Just lay back and let me take care of you."
You couldn't say no. Not that you were able to say anything at all with his skillful tongue and fingers working your cunt open. He made you a whimpering and sensitive mess in a matter of a few seconds.
"Shit, how are you so good?", you let out a drawn-out moan, but didn't get an answer from him. His actions spoke instead of him, as he had you cumming on his tongue soon after. Once he licked you clean he slotted his body between your legs and kissed you nice and deep.
"Mmh", you moaned against his lips, tasting yourself on his tongue.
"Tastes good, right?", he grinned.
"Shut up", you playfully hit his chest, grinnig right back at him.
"Alright, my turn.", you smiled, trying to get him to lie down only to be pushed back, as he got on top of you again.
"Nope."
"Hey! Not fair, I wanna taste you, too.", you pouted at him.
"Maybe next time. Today's all about you, I don't want you to lift a single finger. As I said, lay back and let me take care of you."
That was an offer you definitely couldn't refuse. So you gave him a nod and waited for his next move. His next move was a very welcome one, as he finally rid him himself of his shirt. You always knew he was well built from years in the gym and other sports. But seeing him like that up close made you gush. His front was mouth watering, and his arms were to die for. He was huge. You would've rubbed your legs together to ease your pain if he wasn't keeping your legs open with his body between them. You didn't even notice you were staring until he spoke up.
"You're practically drooling."
"Fuck, sorry.", you shrieked looking away.
"Don't sweat it. Oogle me all you want, I dig it.", he smiled, pulling your face back in his direction.
"Can I touch you?"
"What kind of question is that? Go for it!"
His skin's so soft, but the ripples of his abs and chest are brick hard. He let you explore his body before grabbing your hand and giving it a gentle kiss.
"My turn.", he whispered against your fingers before pulling your shirt up and exposing your tits. Your nipples were already hard from all of the stimulation earlier.
"Fuck, they're so pretty.", he whispered, grabbing one in each hand and giving them a hard squeeze.
"Shit.", you moaned, back arching off the bed and pussy rubbing against his hard cock. To make matters worse, he leaned down, licking a thick stripe up your neck and pinching your aching nipples between his fingers.
"Off. Now.", he demanded, already helping you pull the shirt over your head. You were finally fully exposed and he ate it right up. He leaned back down, taking one of your nipples in his mouth and massaging your other breast. He made sure to pay equal attention to both. It felt really good, but you were getting impatient, already grinding against his hard crotch.
"Yuuji~~", you moaned at a particularly hard suck. "Don't tease. Pleasee, I need you.", you whined.
"Shit, sorry I got distracted. Wait here, I'm gonna go get the condoms."
Before he could leave you, you stopped him.
"No, wait, please don't. I want to feel you.", you said, already digging your nails in his arms at the mere thought of doing it raw.
"Are you sure?"
"Positive.", you smiled reassuringly.
"Fuck, alright. Got it.", he swore and rid himself of his boxers.
Once again you were staring. He was bigger than you thought. You definitely couldn't wait any longer. You needed him inside of you immediately.
He didn't make you wait long before he started to slowly bottom out. Your moans grew embarassingly louder with each inch that filled you up.
"Shit, you're so tight. Please loosen up, you're gonna kill me."
"Sorry, it just feels so good.", you mewled back arching and pressing your soft tits against his hard chest. "Kiss me, please~~" He immediately obliged, crashing his mouth against yours. It was so raw and messy when your tongues kept mashing together, but it just felt so right.
"I'm gonna start moving now. I'm gonna fuck you so good."
You nodded and pleaded. Your wish was his command, so he finally picked up his pace. And god, was he good with his hips. With each thrust and shift of your legs, he kept hitting you deeper and deeper until you practically saw stars. It's so cliché, but you felt like you were in heaven.
Your nails kept grazing his broad back and shoulders, but you didn't want to hurt him, so you held back. As if he had read your mind, he leaned down and whispered against your ear.
"Do it. Mark me up, it doesn't hurt. Please don't hold back."
So you didn't hold back anymore. You let your emotions run wild, exploring his body with your hands. Shyness long forgotten, as you left long red streaks all over his back, occasionally pulling him down for a kiss.
The world stood still. You never noticed before, but he has always been there for you. He was the only person that you ever felt loved by. How had you never noticed. Even if you two never said it out loud before, you loved each other. It had to be love. You felt overwhealmed as his fingers slipped between your bodies and started rubbing thick circles in your sensitive clit. Your breath hitched as the words you kept secret for far too long came tumbling out.
"I love you, Yuji. I love you so much, thank you for always taking care of me. I only have you in my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. Please never leave me, I need you."
If he was taken aback by your words, he didn't show it. He just pressed his lips against yours and kept rubbing and moving his hips until you came undone. And as you were moaning and arching your back, he finally answered.
"I love you, too. So, so much. I always have. I promise I will never leave. No matter what happens, I got you. Forever.", that's when the dams broke down and tears were spilling from your eyes. You just hugged him close and thanked him.
Not long after, he was reaching his limit as well. So he hoisted your legs over his shoulders and pounded away until he filled you up to the brim. All the while he was kissing your tears away and saying how good you were for him and how well you did.
When his hips finally came to a halt, he gently put your legs down and kissed you again. He was gentle when he pulled out and you winced as you felt his cum drip out of you and onto his sheets.
Immediately after, he pulled you close, hugging you like he was about to lose you and you were able to calm down a bit. But the bad thoughts came back as you whispered against his skin.
"Today was so stressful and you must've been worried sick. What if I have another breakdown. I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to stress you out. I don't want to break your heart if anything happens to me."
"Y/N, look at me.", he begged, hands on your cheeks.
You finally looked back up at him, tears stinging your eyes.
"You're not a burden.", he whispered, giving your forehead a gentle kiss. "I will protect you forever. For as long as I live, I will always be here to catch you. No matter what happens. You're not alone anymore. You don't have to endure everything silently and on your own. I promise, things will get better. I will be here each step of the way. I love you so much, so please don't leave me."
You wanted to believe him, you wanted to get better. Maybe you finally could with his help. It's a big gamble, but you're gonna bet all of your cards on this relationship. After a long pause, you gave him a silent nod and burried your face in his chest, all while he was gently patting and kissing your head.
Life and everyone else might be shit, but at least you got him now. He was worth living for.
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If you read this far, thank you so much<3 I hope I can make some lighter and happier content soon, but I'm on a roll right now *sigh* Please stay healthy and look after yourselves, mwah
Hope to see you all very soon<3
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poppy-metal · 5 months ago
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dilf! art who unfortunately doesn't get lily on fathers day. maybe her and tashi had something planned, maybe she had a tennis match somewhere else, or maybe she wanted to do something really bad and art let her because he can never say no. whatever it is he finds himself without her on fathers day and you make it your goal to make still it the best. waking him up with breakfast in bed, having lily call him twice, surprising him with the gifts you and lily picked out weeks before, and taking him out for dinner. coming home and relaxing with a glass of wine. holding each other and art slowly kissing you as he brings up the thought that plagued him all day. he'd tell you in between kisses how this day with you made him realize how badly he wants to be a daddy again.
how he wants to have a baby with you. hear the patter of small feet, see you all round and pretty, and just be your own little family. who are you to tell him no to that on fathers day? i just know he has a breeding kink but felt too dirty to say everything in his head. when you're underneath him begging "put a baby in me, art. please, fill me up," in between your moans, he can't hold himself back. finds himself groaning and muttering the whole time about how he's going to fill you up, gonna pump you full until your stomach is bulging out, and get you so full that the two of you will already have a baby by next fathers day. it unleashes a new side of him and you wouldn't make him stop even if you wanted to because you've never seen him let go so much. so you let him use you like a little sex toy and just hold onto him closely, telling him how good he takes care of you and how you can't wait for him to fill you up with your own baby. 
- ☕
im laying on the ground w my neck snapped
arts breeding kink goes so crazy - and its so telling to how much he loves you, because having a family is really just at the core of his wants. and he thought that's what he had with tashi. its taken him a long time to think about starting a new one - lily's getting older though - and he loves you. can't stop thinking about having a baby with your qualities and his - something of you and him - something you made together. hes a fucking sap, alright.
and maybe the whine loosens his tongue because he says all that while hes got a hand dragging up your shirt, feeding himself one of your hard nipples and pushing his hips up into yours.
"i wanna have a baby." he says, against your tits. licks all between the valley of your breasts. grips your waist. "i want a baby with you-"
and this. this is what you've been waiting for. so you rock your hips, lick into his mouth eagerly. swallow his moans and tangle your tongue with his - tasting the wine. sweet.
"put one in me-" you gasp feverish. you're hot to the touch, you want him all over you, inside you already, pumping you full. "fuck me pregnant - wanna make you a daddy again -"
its a blur after that - a tangle of limbs and your clothes yanked down and off - and then hes there, pushing inside you - hot and insistent and he comes down on you - his hips already moving.
"put your legs around me" he says against your lips - "lock me inside-"
you grip his side with your thighs, hooking your ankles at his back and pushing against him, rooting him deep as he can go.
he barely pulls out - but he doesn't go easy on you, either. he rocks into you forcefully, the motion of it jerking the couch forward every couple seconds - your bodies touch everywhere and you cant stop kissing, messy and wet. cant stop moaning and babbling things you cant even keep track of.
"fuck me fuck me fuck me - wanna have your baby, art - w-wanna have so many babies - "
"gonna make you a mommy - fuck, fill this tight little pussy - "
he comes in you once, and doesn't stop there. pushing his cum in as it oozes out, hooking your thighs towards your chest "have to breed you -" he grunts. pushes back inside with an easy glide into your slippery cum filled cunt - "oh, fuck. suck me in just like that, baby, yes - im gonna cum again -"
he'll fill you up three - maybe four time. rubbing his cock raw and sore in your pussy. pumping load after load into you.
you have to make sure it takes.
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