#I can't even look at those pages anymore without feeling the need to cry

[abbeyofcyn]

even if theres more angst.... will they get a happy ending ? 🥺

50% wants the worst angst

50% just wants comfort

Worry not, there will be a happy ending because I cannot deal with too much sadness ever since the Donnie scene in Cass' apocalyptic series 🥲 (I'm still not over it)

@diona09080 @aneth-kokuyo

[draftycastle]

the language of touch

this is the first short story I've ever written, and I absolutely loved it. It's a bit long, but I hope it's worth it if you stop to read.

tw: implied mentions of SA

I cannot speak my own language.

   I can't tell my mother why I started shaking the first time she touched me After. I can't tell my father why I started crying when I walked into the kitchen and didn't notice him there until he spoke.

   I can't tell my mom I love her anymore. I can't tell her that I still love her even if I can't touch her like I used to.

   Mom still reaches out to touch me, instinctively, probably trying to ask what I want for dinner or which color of fabric she should buy. I don't know, though, and I couldn't answer if I did.

   I watch as she lays her hand on Dad's arm and they both laugh about something. I can't be part of it. They can't touch me anymore, and that is the only way any of us knew how to talk to each other.

   They don't even know what happened or why I suddenly became unable to experience the sensation of other people's skin against mine. This is all I know, and now it has been taken from me.

   I ball my hands into fists. Mom tries to ask what's wrong, to reach for my hand, and I jump away. The hurt and the worry in her eyes nearly breaks me. I can't keep doing this. I won't.

#

   I've never truly gone to the library before. I sneaked in once of twice when I was younger, and another time more recently. I liked just looking at all the books, wishing I knew how to read and write like the scribes.

   Now it's a longing for anything to escape the fact that I can't touch. If only I could read, I could get out of this body, this tainted skin, for just a moment. If only I could write, maybe... maybe I could tell someone. I could finally explain.

   Unfortunately, reading and writing has mostly died out since telepathic touch has taken over, just like spoken language. The only people who could still do any of those were the scribes, who were meant to preserve everything.

   Mom still believes I will just get better with time, the way she kept watering her wilted flowers thinking they would come back to life if she just cared enough. I refuse to wait any longer. I have to do something. The library is the only place I know to look.

   The huge tree stands both wide and tall in the center of our village. My whole house could fit inside it twice. The door is hidden, but I was the kid who'd spent hours when I was small searching for a key, trying to find my way into it so I could look at all the books. I had wanted to be a scribe.

   I pick up the same fake stone I had found all those years ago, and push it into the indented spot on the side of the tree and the door slides open. It creaks some, but it's just quiet enough that I had been able to sneak in without being noticed.

   I resist the urge to hide among the shelves now, too. To find a corner in here with a book or two and just look at the pages, feel the smooth texture of paper beneath my fingers because that is still soothing--at least, I hope.

   The second I make myself known to the people here, they will want to touch me. I will have to find a way to explain myself without that. Some of the scribes could speak, all could read and write, but I couldn't do any of those things.

   Still, this is the only way I could fix my touch problem. I need help.

   The shelves and desks filling the center of the room are man made out of dark, rich wood, but the shelves along the wall look... natural. Like the tree grew shelves inside it's hollow body. It seems to have grown this way, somehow. Leaves and branches grow out of those shelves, and fallen, decaying leaves are scattered along the grassy floor. Little mushrooms and flowers peek out among the grass.

   I finally walk in further, glancing at the books scattered on the tables as I go, some open, some open but set upside down to hold the pages in place, some filled with way too many bookmarks.

   It's like a maze trying to find my way to the desks in the back, where the resident scribes are studying and working. There is only one today. I remember him from the times I sneaked in.

   The low, amber lighting, just enough to read by and not enough to strain the eyes, shines on his face just right, the same way it did when we were kids. I watched him, that first day I went exploring. I think he saw me, but I doubt he remembers. He's the only scribe I've ever seen in person.

   His face is scrunched up as he tries to focus on whatever he's reading. I feel bad for interrupting, so I try to do it politely, just quietly coughing to get his attention.

   He glances up after a moment and startles when he realizes there's actually a person right in front of him. It's kinda adorable. He sighs and stands, coming around the table to touch my arm and ask what I need. I anticipate what he's about to do because it's what anyone here would do and step back before he reaches me.

   He frowns, confused. He takes another step, hesitantly. I take two. He runs a hand through his hair, but gets the hint and doesn't come closer. I turn around slowly, still keeping my eye on him, so I can move if he tries to touch me again.

   I search through the books on one of the tables, looking for a picture that can help me explain. I couldn't think of another option. He stood next to me, and I took another step to the side to give myself more space.

   I look through book after book with pictures of flowers and buildings and fires and the sparkle of magic. Some with people but nothing quite right. He just watched curiously, looking back and forth between my face and the books.

   After doing this for who knows how long, I throw my hands in the air and flop into a chair, dramatically. My body language is all I have, so I exaggerate it. He just tilts his head a bit.

   He moves his hands around and says some words I don't understand, trying his forms of communication to ask what I need. I know what he's asking, and I know the answer.

   Fix me, fix me, fix me, I want to scream. But I have no way to say anything.

   He pauses for a moment, then beckons for me to follow him. That, I can do. He leads my to one edge of the library, where there is more space for grass, and picks a flower. It's a bundle of several tiny purple flowers. He turns around and hands it to me.

   I hesitate, studying the flower and trying to remember what they are. Sea lavender, maybe? Statice? Or were they the same thing? I try to figure out why he's giving it to me, but I have no idea. I take it anyway, and decide that I'm going to come back tomorrow.

#

   I go back to the library the next day, like I said I would. I'm not sure I could stay away if I tried. The flower means something, maybe several somethings, I can feel it. Maybe he knows a way to fix me and he needs some time to get the stuff or figure it out, so he gave me the flower to ask me to come back. That's my favorite idea, anyway.

   He smiles when he sees me. I wish I knew his name. It would be a nice name, I think, to compliment the way the sunlight shined on his golden brown hair as he led me out to a meadow just outside the village.

   I used to come here all the time, Before. After, I developed a fear of going places outside the village alone. I started staying close to home more and more, and I still haven't started coming back. I'm glad I have someone with me for the first time.

   I missed this place.

   The smells of flowers and grass and early spring air fill me. This is what peace smells like. The birds chirping now that it is warm enough for them to be flying everywhere makes it even better. I can't help but feel at ease here.

   Little bursts of color dot the landscape, so many different flowers starting to stretch out above the grass. I wish I could name all of them.

   He crouches down and points at one of them, a small pink flower I don't know the name of. He reaches his hand out to me, offering to tell me something but not pressing.

   I want to. I really want to hold his hand, to get to know what he wants to tell me, but more than anything, to touch someone without wanting to throw up. I reach for him, too. I think I can do it, that I'm ready.

   Our fingers are an inch apart when I turn and run home instead. He called out for me and tried to tell me something, but I don't know what it was and I didn't stop.

   I couldn't do it. What is he's like the one who hurt me? How can I let him touch me when I don't know if I can trust him?

#

   I made my way back to the meadow on my own the next day. I walk quietly, wondering if he would be there. I can't decide if I hope he will or won't. On the one hand, I don't want to face him after all of that, and I just want to be around the flowers.

   On the other, I do really want to see him again, despite myself. And I don't want to be alone.

   He's laying in the field staring up at the sky. It's full of big, puffy clouds, today. I debate whether or not to stay. I reluctantly lay down in the grass beside him.

   His hair is so neat that I'm surprised he was willing to lay down on the grass, but I don't really know him yet. I don't even know his name. I should find something to call him, other than "him". I thought about the first flower he gave me.

   Statice would be a nice nickname until I can find out his name. Which I will, and soon. I will lose my mind if I'm not back to normal by the end of spring.

   Statice smiles at me when he notices I've laid down beside him. I get that warm and fuzzy feeling the other girls were always telling me about when he smiles at me like that. I'm just really glad he wants me to be here, too.

   He holds up a stack of cards with pictures on them and points to the flowers. It takes me a moment to pick up on what he's telling me, but when he does, I smile so big it must have covered my face. I start nodding aggressively.

   He wanted to use the images to tell me about the flowers.

   He picks up a sweet pea, with a picture of a person leaving. The flower itself could just be leaving or maybe departure. Something along those vibes, at least I assume that's what he was trying to tell me.

   We spend a long time out here, going through different flowers with pictures, me guessing at what they meant exactly because they weren't all straightforward. I had no way to confirm my guesses and assumptions, though.

   I wish I had asked more about plant types, so I would know what to call all these plants and how to describe them properly. I recognize rhododendron when he shows me one, along with a picture of a sign that feels like a warning or maybe something like "look out" or "pay attention". Possibly danger?

   There were several more I can barely remember now. I need more practice, more time, but I want to know it all now. I have been unable to communicate for so long, and I am so close now to finally being able to talk to him that I can taste it.

   He lines up all the flowers we looked at today, and starts making claws with his hands and making faces like he's a bear growling or something. I laugh and glance at the flowers, assuming this is some kind of quiz. The rhododendron was my best guess since there was nothing about bears, but "beware" encompassed them pretty well, in my opinion.

   He smiled and nodded.

   He leans his body to the side, like he's about to fall over. My brow furrows. I glance at the flowers, trying to remember. The closest thing I can think of is the wilting flower image, but which flower was that? One I don't recognize, I know that much.

   I decide on the purple one with the long, thin petals. He nods again.

   We go through all of the flowers he taught me today, and I get most of them right. I do well with quizzes. They help me remember things. It seemed crazy that he could figure that out so quickly, without ever speaking to me.

   Would he ever be able to speak to me? This was lovely, right now, when we both believed I would be able to touch and communicate eventually. Would I, though? Even if I can use the flowers, that's still not the same. That's not my language.

   How will I speak to my parents with flowers? They don't know this language. I'm no closer to telling my mother I love her, not in a way she will understand.

   I sat on the ground and pulled my knees into my chest, curling my spine, making myself into as small of a ball as I could. As if I was trying to escape my skin by crawling so deeply into myself that I was not part of my body anymore.

   I hadn't noticed I was crying until the tears start falling on my clothes. Statice sits on the ground next to me, trying to be close enough to be comforting without pushing my boundaries. I appreciate that.

   He stays with me for a while, but then he gets up and goes over to some bushes near the edge of the meadow. I don't move. I'm not sure I can. I desperately need to be held, to be told that I will be okay, that things will get better, but I cannot stomach the touch required for any of that.

   I hear Statice's footsteps coming back, so I glance up, and he is holding some form of carrot he seems to have pulled from the ground somewhere. A winged rabbit is chasing him with the carrot as he comes back toward me.

   My jaw drops. He lets the rabbit have the carrot right as it gets up next to me. I've never seen a winged one in person before. They're so rare. I can't figure out how he found it.

   It sits next to me for a while, munching on it's carrot. When it finishes, it looks up at me, runs in a circle, and then reaches it's paw up, and I put my hand out, just to see what it would do. The rabbit gave me a high five.

   I don't think I've laughed that much since Before. Statice laughs with me.

#

   I gaze up higher and higher, looking at the natural shelves that seem to stretch up and up, towering above the tallest buildings I've ever seen. Trying to climb the stairs to Statice and his family's rooms at the top of the tree seems impossible.

   There are small ledges before each new row of shelves with staircases along the sides of them. The highest ledges no longer have books, but old scrolls that are falling to pieces.

   With such a tall ceiling, this place must be wonderful to grow up in, with such an expanse to fill with dreams.

   I came looking for Statice, like I always do, but I saw him with his sister. At least, I think that's who she is. She looks like him, but not much older. I didn't want to interrupt, so I waited in the bookshelves just out of sight, but the interaction I accidentally witnessed clearly wasn't something I was meant to see.

   She reached out to grab his hand, and he flinched away, the same way I have from so many people. The anger on his face contrasted with the hurt on hers. I don't think I've ever seen him angry, at least, not like that.

   I've retreated into the front of the library now, rather than the back where he tends to be. He could come find me here when they were done. I don't want to see anything else that was meant to be private.

   I start to worry about the anger I saw in him. I've never seen it before, but that doesn't mean it's not commonly occurring around other people. What if he's only being nice to me to gain my trust?

        I can't start thinking like this again. I sigh, annoyed with myself. I need to get better. It's nearly the end of spring, and I told myself I'd be better before summer.

   I might as well do something useful while I wait, so I start scanning books I look at image after image, trying to find anything that might be useful or even just something to share with Statice.

   I find a picture of a man who is angry, violent. I flip the book over, marking that page. I look at a flower book. It's gorgeous I recognize most of these now. I wish I could read what it said, though. Maybe I could learn faster that way, at least.

   Statice finds me, finally. He looks stressed, and he's running a hand through his hair, but when he sees me, he lights up a bit. I'm feeling warm and fuzzy again.

   He looks at the books I've been scanning and tilts his head. I flip over the one with the angry man for him, and he winces. I notice it only because I was looking. The picture had nothing to do with Statice and everything to do with the man from the night that Before became After, but he found guilt in it anyway.

   That worries me.

   Statice looks around at my collection of books, then walks off into the library. I frown, but follow him. He leads me into a section with books that are extra colorful and bright. I'm sure I've been here before, but I've never stopped to look at anything here. It looks like it's all meant for small children.

   He picks up a few books, though, and we head off to the meadow together. It's getting late, but that's okay. I think he wanted to stargaze, and I would love that.

   Laying on the grass together, staring at the stars, would continue to be one of my favorite memories for years to come. To stare at the stars and realize how big the universe is, how much this all stretches beyond the two of us, and yet we get to be here together.

   He is choosing to spend time with me despite how hard the lack of communication makes our friendship.

   I want to touch him. I have so many questions and so much I want to say. If I can just grab his hand, this will all get so much easier. Then I can touch my mom, too, tell her thank you and I'm sorry and I love you and you don't have to worry anymore. I can make friends again.

   Everything will get better if I can just grab his hand like a normal person. That's all I have to do.

   I psych myself up, and I go for it. I reach for his hand lying beside mine, and I take it, feeling his skin against mine. For a moment, I thought I'd done it. He felt warm and safe but-

   I still want to throw up after a few seconds. I don't notice his reaction at all because I'm shaking, and I just want to get out of there.

   Why can't I just be normal? I just want to be the person I was Before again. I didn't ask for any of this. I am shaking and crying and nauseous because my ability to touch, to communicate, was stolen from me. I can't even fix it. It seems to keep getting worse.

   Statice walks beside me as I go home, gripping the sides of my arms, trying to fold them into myself. He gives me plenty of space, but stays by my side the whole time.

#

   I open the door, ready to leave the house, but there's a bouquet on my doorstep. White yarrow, some tiny purple flowers I don't know, yellow tulips, and of course, statice.

   I smiled at the gesture. I knew the yarrow meant something like health or healing, but the others I didn't know. Even so, it was reassuring. He still liked me after last night.

   I won't go to him today, though. I'm not ready, and I'm taking this bouquet as a sign that he understands that, too. After last night... I don't think I'm ready to be around him yet.

   It was still hard to believe that I had touched him. Neither of us were fully prepared for it so we still didn't say anything, but I did get to feel the warmth of his hand. Clearly, I didn't want it enough, though. I would've been able to do it if I did.

   The next few days are a blur. I stay home for most of them. I'd stopped going to school After since no one could speak to me. There isn't any reason for me to be there now. I miss my friends, though.

   I have nowhere else to go without seeing Statice, so I stay in bed. I work on my sewing a bit, trying to stitch these pieces of fabric back together. Maybe I can't fix me, but I could fix these clothes.

   On the third night, I lie in bed and sigh, staring at the ceiling, wishing I could see the stars and Statice was beside me. Wishing I could feel the touch of the people I cared about again, the way I did every night.

   Touch really wasn't an option right now, I guess. I had been the one to initiate, and it still felt horrible. It had felt like the perfect time. I can't do it yet, as much as I wanted to be able to before the end of spring.

   Would I ever manage it again? I'm not sure anymore.

#

   Statice brought books to the meadow again. We didn't do anything with them last time since I... needed to leave, but now he was excited to teach me to read. He was nearly bouncing as he got a bunch of pictures to go along with children's books and flashcards with words.

   I laugh at how excited he is. He's adorable.

   I'm excited, too. I've dreamt of this since I was little, and now it's finally happening. I'm going to be able to read stories. I may have lost touch, but I was finding so many other things, so at least there was good in that.

   We went through letter tiles first where he'd put together a couple cards and then show me a picture. First was "B-E-D" followed by a picture of a bed. We went through so many words like this, but eventually I started to make sense of it, to remember what all of this sounded like when I had been communicating in my head.

   It was probably easier for him, knowing how to actually make the sounds and hear the words he was trying to learn to connect to these symbols on the page. That's likely why they stopped teaching us to read in the schools. It was hard to teach kids who no longer spoke.

   I read my first book today, and we both started dancing wildly in the middle of the meadow where no one else could see us. It's one of the best days.

   We keep working on reading for a while, but it keeps getting harder the next few days. The excitement starts wearing off and the confusion from the words that are harder to explain through pictures is getting stronger.

   I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to be able to tell and hear stories with my hands, with my love, with my touch.

   The movements of my hands as he keeps encouraging me to read get more jagged and sharp. I think he notices, but he doesn't do anything different. I get up and storm away a bit, pulling my arms around myself. I felt ridiculous, but dramatic movements were still the easiest option I had to communicate.

   Statice walks up behind me. He gives me a small, encouraging smile, and a flower. It had a long, tall stem with lots of small, white flowers poking out from the sides. I remember the picture it went with being someone cheering someone else on.

   I don't flinch when his fingers brush mine as I take the flower.

#

   The air has grown hot and sticky. Spring is long gone, now, but I was okay with that. I still really want to be able to touch again, that hasn't changed a bit. I'm willing to give myself time, though, and I have hope that it will come when it's ready.

   If it doesn't... well, I'll figure that out, eventually.

   It helps that Statice is teaching me to write, now. I'm getting the hang of it, so we are getting close to the ability to talk. It's still hard though, nothing like the natural feeling of being able to graze someone's hand and ask a question.

   There's still no way for me to talk to my parents, though. I want to tell them everything that had happened these last few months. Mom has stopped trying to touch me at all, and it breaks my heart every time I know she wants to.

   I'm at the meadow now, without Statice for the first time in a while. I just want to try to make a bouquet. I want to tell them what happened or give some indication.

   Danger. I pick up the rhododendron. I need statice, of course. Though no one else would understand why I picked that flower. I put it back. What else would I put for him? Acacia, friendship. That works.

   I spend hours going through flower after flower. Trying to find the perfect combination to express what has happened to me and what I'm feeling now. I can't explain them, though. I have no way of telling them what all the flowers mean to me.

   What's the point? They don't understand the flower language anyway. There was no reason for me to keep doing this.

   I wrote it down. Or started to, anyway. At least that would make more sense than random flowers. I wrote the story, the explanation for every flower and the hurt and the hope that I've experienced. I stopped midway through.

   I don't know why I insisted on doing these things, even know they won't be able to understand or read any of it. They can't speak my new languages. There's still no way for me to actually communicate with them.

   I sigh, laying down on the grass. I had insisted on starting this story, for some reason. I might as well finish it. Maybe not for them, but for me. Maybe I'll show it to Statice if I'm feeling brave.

   By the time I finished, he had shown up. I wonder how often he's here without me. I can't figure out how he ever gets anything done with how much time he seems to spend in the meadow.

   He smiles when he sees me, just like he always does, and picks up his pace with a little spring in his step. He lies down on his stomach beside me, glancing at the notebook I'm writing in and the mess of picked flowers on the other side of me.

   I cover the page of the notebook for a moment, trying to decide if I really want to do this, if I'm ready. His brows raise, but he doesn't push.

   I sigh. I've wanted to talk about this for so long. He's lying here beside me, waiting patiently, just as he has through all of this. He hasn't pushed for a single thing, especially not touch. I have no good reason to believe he would be different if he knew.

   I take my hands off the book and slide it over to him.

   His smile grows as he starts to read the pages, but dims the more he reads. The beginning... isn't the brightest of tales. His expression grew grave. His jaw clenches. As he gets closer to the end, though, he relaxes more again. He laughs at something, though I'm not sure what. He grows more peaceful. Hopeful.

   He hops up without looking at me. My brows scrunch together, and I sit up. He's just... leaving? He comes right back though, with two flowers in his hand. Statice and almond blossom. Remembrance and hope.

   He sits next to me, as close as I can tolerate. He moved slowly closer, giving me a moment each time to move away or to give some indication that he should stop.

   I waited until our thighs met, the only barrier being our clothes. This was okay, now.

   He gave me the flowers and a book I hadn't seen him bring in with him. I have no idea where he got it. A galaxy painted made the background, with a couple staring at each other lovingly, but not touching, were on the cover. Love and Stardust.

   I grabbed his hand. I didn't think about it. I was just excited, and this was all very sweet, and I was ready. So I took his hand in mine, for just a moment. I don't say anything. I don't know what to say. It's the first time I've had the chance to say anything, and I have no idea what to use it for.

   Statice? he asks, grinning.

   My cheeks burn. I didn't know your name. It was the best I could come up with.

   He laughs a bit. It's Zenith. But you could keep calling me Statice, if you like. It's adorable.

   I turn my head away. I must be bright red.

   Would you like to know what it means?

   I nod, holding his hand a little tighter. I can't quite believe this is happening, that it's real, and he's real, and this isn't all a dream.

   The zenith of a star is the highest point in the sky that it will reach. My mom named me that because she always had the biggest dreams for us, me and my sister.

   That's beautiful.

   He nods, smiling and staring at the sky like he can see the stars in the middle of the day.

   My name's Evera.

   He grins, but it's wistful. Of course. Brave one suits you perfectly. He pauses, glancing back at the sky. I'm so proud of how far you've come.

#

   I touch the tip of my finger to the skin on his arm. The slightest touch, but he won't ask for anything more than I am ready to give. That trust is what has helped heal me the most, I think.

   I'm ready. I'm going to tell them my story, and that I love them.

   I've been leaving them almond blossoms and aster, red chrysanthemum and amaranth, all around the house. Every flower for love and hope that I could find, whether they know what any of it means or not.

   Maybe love is a language of it's own, and you can feel it, even if you don't know what the other person is saying.

   He hands me a galax flower, just like he did the day I was struggling with reading. I knew what it meant for sure now, encouragement, and it's name. The impact of it was the same, though.

   I thought that was all he had, but then he was handing me a gladiolus, too, and I can't figure out where he got it. I don't think they even grow around here. I nearly start crying, though.

   I can't tell if he knows that I've read about it, or if he doesn't expect me to know what he's saying since he never taught it to me. I remember, though, waiting for him in the library, and reading it's most common meaning.

   Bravery and the courage to overcome challenges and preserve despite the odds.

   I turn back once more as I leave, and he is smiling at me, proud and excited for the person I am becoming.

#

   I walk in to the smell of homemade cookies and my mother's joy. She has been happier lately, and I can't help but wonder if she knows somehow that I am getting better, that I am okay.

   The warm, sweet cookies are also the smell of home, of safety, of my childhood, and of love. Of course love is a language all of it's own that transcends language barriers entirely. It is in every memory, every moment. It's in sitting beside each other unable to touch to comfort one another. It is in my parents waiting for me to heal even if it killed them not to understand.

   I never needed words, really. They're just an easier way to explain what we can already feel.

   I hesitate, though, to touch them. Not because I'm afraid of the touch anymore. I can handle that now. But because I'm afraid I will forget this, or I will become a different person once I am able to touch them again.

   Everything has changed. I am different. Will they be okay with that, once they understand? They'll have to get to know me all over again. But maybe some things are still the same.

   Maybe this old part of me can be part of the new, too.

   I throw my arms around my mother for the first time in months, and she's already sobbing. I reach for my father, and he joins us in a group hug.

   I love you, I love you, I love you.

   I can't even tell who's speaking, if it's one of us or all of us or if we can just feel the words.

   I missed you both so much, I whisper.

   We keep holding each other tight, and I can feel the memories and the love transcending through the three of us, not just because we were touching but despite it, too.

   I tell them the story, my story. I tell them about the girl who was so hurt and broken that she became incapable of communicating with anyone. I tell them about how she tried to force it, to force herself to get better before she was ready. I tell them that she found help, that she met Statice, Zenith, and that he believed in her and stuck with her until and after she did find her way again.

   I tell them about how this was for them most of all. How more than anything, I wanted to tell them I still loved them.

   They tell me that they always knew that, and that they still loved me through all of it, too.

#

   Zenith takes my hand. I smile at how naturally it comes now. It's still not the same as it was. I flinch when I'm not expecting it, and there are nightmares to contend with still. But I have never been alone through any of it.

   I talked to Ambrozia today, he says.

   Yeah? How'd it go? I still don't fully understand his relationship with his sister. He rarely talks about her. I can see it, though, when they're together, that he resents her and misses her all at one.

   I'm not mad anymore. I smile and squeeze his hand, urging him on. It's the first time in years that I'm not angry with her. He pauses. It's because of you.

   I had a feeling I brought some yarrow with me for a reason. I pick up the tiny bundle of small white flowers that gather together into circular shapes. Of course, I always have gladiolus with me, too, and so I grab some of that, too.

   I hold them out to him, encouraging his healing the same way he did all those months for me.

[lunalucykat]

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

Thanks for tagging me @menkhu !!! :) :D

coke or pepsi: my soda of choice is Dr Pepper, but if i HAD to choose between these two then Coke

disney or dreamworks: i really don't know. I don't keep up with these studios anymore. Maybe Disney???

coffee or tea: coffee

books or movies: movies

windows or mac: sorry, born and raised with Macs....

dc or marvel: neither lol. I really don't do superhero stuff, but I GUESS DC if i had to choose

x-box or playstation: nintendo lol

dragon age or mass effect: i've never played either of these so i dont have an opinion

night owl or early riser: born to be a night owl, forced by job to be an early riser... catch me waking up at 4am to go to work...

cards or chess: cards

chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

vans or converse: i own a singular pair of vans, so i guess vans lol

Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: sorry, i don't know what this is in reference to

fluff or angst: why not both? :3c

beach or forest: beach. It's been so long since I've see the ocean, I wanna go back

dogs or cats: dogs

clear skies or rain: Clear skies! I used to be one of those emo teens that would always say rain on this question, but now that i'm in my extreme late 20s I understand the importance of sunshine

cooking or eating out: tough question. SOMETIMES I like cooking, but also most of the times I'm lazy as fuck so I do get carryout a fair amount

spicy food or mild food: mild, my stomach can't handle a lot of spice unfortunately

halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Boy do i LOVE the aesthetics of Halloween, but Christmas is really the best. I love the lights and warmth and music and food and family during the WORST season (winter. I hate winter so GD much)

would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too hot

if you could have a superpower, what would it be: either invisibility (because i'm a nosy binch that loves dropping eaves) or shapeshifting

animation or live action: i generally prefer animation

paragon or renegade: idk what this is, sorry

baths or showers: showers

team cap or team ironman: could not care less

fantasy or sci-fi: fantasy

do you have three or four favorite quotes, if so what are they: oof! I don't really have favorite quotes. But at the current moment I can almost perfectly recite the whole of Live Action One Piece (not joking lol) There's a lot of talk about believing in yourself and following your dreams which is really nice though. I do also have legit quotes from Octopath Traveler that I like: "Even grown-ups need a good cry from time to time." -Alfyn Greengrass. And then as a more funny quote that I love from Octopath: "O, woe is me, doomed to never realize the full depth of my good looks and charisma!" -Cyrus Albright. Because I am very humble lmao

youtube or netflix: very rare for me to NOT be watching YouTube

harry potter or percy jackson: Percy Jackson

when do you feel accomplished: i guess when i make a joke and people laugh :)

star wars or star trek: I don't have a strong feeling on either of these really

paperback books or hardcover books: hardcover

to live in a world without literature or without music?: i love writing, but i am almost always listening to music. I don't think i could live without it

who was the last person to make you laugh? almost positive it was TJ

city or countryside? small city/town?

favorite chips? i like just plain but salty tortilla chips that i can dip into hummus or queso or what have you

pants or dresses? my favorite thing is to wear shorts over leggings. Pokemon protagonist lookin' ass!

libraries or museums? museums

character driven stories or plot driven stories? character driven

bookmarks or folding pages? bookmarks

Dream job? lol...lmao..... YouTube/ Twitch streamer lol.

What gives you comfort? unwinding in my room. late night chats with TJ. my dog. watching whichever show i'm really into at the moment (rn it's One Piece)

what are some of your favorite song lyrics? Oof... Like in general? Because I know there are songs I like to sing just because they're fun to sing... But I don't really know if i have any songs where the lyrics really jump out at me in a meaningful way. Well, okay. All of the Simple Plan songs I have meant something to me for sure as a little emo teenager, but, hmm.... For current me? Dreams by the Cranberries has been one of those songs where I really just soak in the vibes and listen to it, so I'll give you a nice lyric from that. "Oh my life/ is changing every day/ in every possible way. And oh my dreams/ it's never quite as it seems/ never quite as it seems"

Do you believe in ghosts?

Tagging: Literally anyone who wants to do this!!! Seriously! It's pretty fun! But in order to try and keep it going (cause I know almost no one will just do it if I don't tag them specifically, and i Get It) But I'll tag @bitter-like-coffee, @pawelcyril, and @electric016

[unhopefulart]

2021.

image text:

"In 2014, I made a zine about dysphoria for class on wood block printing. I carved everything onto one block, printed it on newsprint, and folded the sheet into a booklet with 12 pages.

It makes me sad to look at the finished project now and see how, in those 12 pages, I felt the need to clarify that my pain wasn't special and end on a hopeful note. Nothing has put into perspective how bad my dysphoria was quite like finally having it alleviated - the little block prints of pill bottles, with each pill I carved out of the wood, remind me how scared I was that I really was broken or defective in some way that couldn't be fixed. I've been on so many medications, and some of them helped more than others, but I never really felt solid. I felt imaginary. I was constantly, chronically dissociative, but I didn't have language for that at the time, and I was disconnected enough from myself to push down the fear of things never getting better.

I've had that image on the second page in my head for a long time, and it's been coming back to me again recently, since starting testosterone. It illustrates what I couldn't really explain without having any other experience to compare it to - each separate part of my body is there, but I have to focus on a part to remember that it's real, and they exist in the vaguest sense of floating in space without relation to anything. The last image is a similar figure - its parts are connected, but still segmented. I couldn't conceptualize integration. I had no way of knowing what being alive is supposed to feel like without feeling it.

I've been thinking about that particular image - body abstract, floating, disjointed - because I've finally been having the sense of everything falling into place. Not all at once. Maybe one floating limb drawing closer, knitting together one strand of muscle at a time, nerves giving off little shocks as they reconnect. It's not just healing or growing... it's like knowing a book was missing by the empty place it left on the shelf, and knowing you've found the right one by how it fits back into place with the rest.

It's such a relief to be me. Not to be in my body, but to be my body, for my body to be me. It's a relief to come home and find I've forgotten things, but that they're familiar.

It was never supposed to be that bad. It's a relief to stop forcing myself to think being miserable isn't that miserable because I'm afraid that it's the best I've got. I'm so sorry for the self that was afraid to cry because then what's left if things get worse? I still don't like to feel like I'm wasting time by dwelling on things I can't change, especially in the past, instead of living now, but even being sad feels better now. Remembering how I hurt and being sad for it is something like giving comfort to the past version of myself who was scared and lonely and afraid to feel it in case they broke. I want to hold them and tell them - whether things get better or worse, the pain is real now. You don't have to pretend anymore."

[atlasscrumpit]

Doctor Strange x reader

Another time

Two beings stood in the middle of an empty field. A man and a woman, the woman's long brunette hair blowing behind her, the boys short black hair askew from the powerful wind. He looked down at the shorter woman and gazed into her ocean blue eyes, she gazed back into his green ones.

This was the end, the end of their story. They both knew it. She could feel the magic of the portal behind her trying to drag her in, she couldn't hold on for much longer. This was the only way to save everything and everyone, if she went to whole other universe this one would be safe without her. She had to leave him here, it was the only way. He looked into her eyes and teared up, finally realising he would never see her again. He would never see his love's face, never feel her touch and never kiss her again.

"I can't let you go." She whispered as tears streamed down her pale face.

"I'll never..." She took in a deep breath and let more tears fall before she continued.

"I'll never see you again." She sobbed out as he held onto her hands. The powerful magic creating a strong wind around them.

"This is the end my love, our story had to end at some point. You knew this day would come. Please, you need to be strong. You need to let go." He whispered barely getting his words out. She realised that this moment was all they had, she realised how quickly it would end and how soon it would just become a distant memory. The last chapter, the last word of the story.

"I love you." She whispered as he wiped away her tears.

"I love you too, forever." He replied making her cry even more. She knew she had to let go, she didn't want to, with all her heart and soul she didn't want to. But she had to. It was time, time to close the book and end their story.

"You have to let go now." He muttered, she nodded and looked into his eyes for the last time.

"Goodbye, my love." She managed to whisper the last words as their hands began to let go. Everything they had gone through, the love they had shared, the battles fought and the darkness they had conquered. It was over, it was in the past, those times were chapters away lost in words and pages. Soon this moment would be the same, just a distant heartache.

She cast one last glance at her love and let go of his hands.

And that was it, the moment was over, the story had ended. She drifted away from him to another land where a new story would begin, a story without him.

Looking back on it, she wishes she could pause that moment. Just be with him for eternity in that last page. But like any story, you read it, finish it, think about it for some time and then it slowly fades from your mind. This story would to fade from her mind, the character she loved so dearly would fade along with it in time.

So many years since she was in that last moment, as much as she hated it even his face was starting to fade. She used to be able to map out every freckle, every scar on his face. But now, she could barely remember his eyes or his voice. She convinced herself for so long that it wasn't forever, that one day she would see him again, hold him again. He warned her of this, warned her not to torture herself with memories of someone that didn't even exist anymore. Someone that has been written out of the story so long ago.

It's ok to let go now, it's ok to move on. He may fade from her mind, but that feeling in her heart would never falter. Their story may have ended and their book burnt to ash. But part of that girl still remained in this new character, that love he gave her remained and would forever remain.

It's time to close the book, let the words fade with time, let the pages turn to dust and let those characters you loved so much, let them fade from your mind.

It had been so long since that time. The girl didn't remember any of it now, just small flashbacks and nightmares of that past life. She looked a lot different now, more scars on her body and her hair now black. She thought she was just a simple human living her life, working and living in the city. Just another cog in the machine of life, but behind that she was so much more; an ancient warrior from another universe, a slave, a princess, an angel, a demon and so much more than just a human. But still she awoke everyday, dressed and went to work like any other human. Because she simply didn't remember that past, perhaps it was a positive thing. That life brought a lot of pain and heartache for her, in this life she isn't tortured or afraid, she can just live without those painful memories.

"Morning Y/N." Her coworker greeted her as she smiled. Such a simple human name, Y/N. A lot different then her real name, Astraea. Such beauty and power contained within one word, I suppose Y/N suited her now. Astraea was a warrior name, definitely not suited to the simple human she was now. (Sorry to roast you so hard)

She worked in a cafe in the middle of the city, she enjoyed the atmosphere, her regulars and watching the people go off to their own lives.

She was attending to her usual duties when she heard the ding of the bell over the door.

"Oh sorry, we're not open just yet." She muttered as she looked up to see a young man entering. She paused for a moment when she saw him, something in her heart ached. His eyes drew her in. His dark hair and green eyes stirred something within her.

"Oh I'm so sorry." He apologised as she snapped back to reality.

"I feel like we've met before, but it seems to have slipped from my mind." Y/N whispered as she chuckled lightly. He just smiled at her kindly.

"Perhaps we met in a dream once, I'm afraid I live miles from this city so I've never been here." He replied making her blush lightly. There was something about him.

"Anyway, I best be going. Maybe we will meet again another time." The young man said before making his leave. Suddenly an imaged flashed through her mind, it was her, she was covered in blood and wounds, screaming and crying. She gasped and brought herself back to reality as her coworker Kate looked at her with worry.

"Are you ok?" Kate muttered, Y/N nodded and took in a deep breath.

"Yeah, sorry." She mumbled before going back to her tasks.

After a while they opened up the small cafe as a few people made their way inside.

"She was a warrior, look at her now. Pathetic." The lady in front her said as she looked at her in shock.

"What did you just say?" Y/N asked, the old lady just smiled.

"I said one coffee with no cream." The lady replied as Y/N shook off the strange comment. Y/N went back to serving customers, she was focus on the orders she needed to make when she suddenly looked up to see a familiar man. Another image flashed through her mind.

It was the same from before, her bloodied and wounded but now she looked up and that man was there holding a sword in front of her. Y/N gasped and quickly excused herself. She hid in the back of the cafe as she took in deep breaths.

"It's not real." She muttered to herself. She couldn't stop her hands from shaking, she kept convincing herself that it was just her mind playing tricks. Deep down she knew it was more than that.

"Trying to figure out where you know me from?" She heard a voice say as she looked beside her to see the man, she was about to scream when he covered her mouth.

"Now, I wouldn't do that if I were you dear. It took me a long time to find you, he hid you very well." The man said as Y/N shook with fear. She managed to push him off of her and went to run away when suddenly the cafe changed, she looked around to see herself in a dull abandoned warehouse.

"Please, I don't think I'm the right person you're looking for. I don't understand anything you're saying." Y/N pleaded as the man chuckled.

"Stephen made you forget as well, how sweet." He said while he chuckled a little.

"You really don't remember me Astraea? You're mine, you loved me very much and I loved you very much." He continued as she looked at him in fear.

Somehow this trickster had found her, he was lying. She never loved this monster and she never would, but now that she had no memory he saw the opportunity to make her love him. He had fought Stephen for a long time, fought for her love. But his idea of love was a lot different than Stephen's, it was manipulative and forceful.

"Loki." Y/N heard another man say as she looked up to see the same young man from the coffee shop.

"Please you have to help me!" Y/N shouted as she tried to run at the man but Loki stopped her and kept her in his strong grip.

"You shouldn't be here Loki." The young man growled making Loki laugh.

"Neither should you Stephen but here we are." Loki growled.

"We don't belong in this universe, leave her and return to your home. She doesn't remember her past and that's what she deserves, she deserves to live a normal happy life." Stephen said as Y/N looked at him in confusion, so many questions ran throughout her mind.

"No! She deserves to remember and belong to me!" Loki shouted, Y/N managed to break free and ran for Stephen as he quickly placed her behind him.

"Last chance Loki, leave. If you truly love her you will see that this is what is best." Stephen replied, Y/N looked over at Loki in fear.

"She won't ever remember again, she is happy here. Happy without those memories, let her be Loki." Stephen tried to bargain with the man. Loki seemed to think for a moment, perhaps there was some part of his darkened soul that wanted the best for her.

"Fine, but we aren't done Stephen. I'll leave her be for now." He growled before disappearing into thin air. Y/N was pale and shaking as Stephen looked down at her.

"It's ok, you're safe now. I'm sorry Astraea." He whispered running his thumb over her cheek. He had missed his love so much since that day, he just came back to make sure she was happy and living a good life. He hadn't meant for Loki to follow him, but now he had to leave her again. Truly leave for good this time.

"Is there any part of you that wants to remember again?" He whispered, Y/N looked up into his brown eyes and shook her head.

"No, if it's anything like my nightmares and visions. I never want to remember that time again, I am free here and happy." Y/N replied making him smile, it made him sad but also happy. He knew their story had ended long ago, and it was time for her to continue her new one.

"I'll let you be Y/N, I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavours. Goodbye." Stephen whispered before snapping his fingers, suddenly she was back in the cafe serving another customer. Stephen erased her memory of the day, he made sure she would have no more nightmares or visions of that place. Made sure she would stay happy. And with that he was gone from her universe and she was happy again, happy living a normal human life.

But that's the thing about their story, it was never meant to end. Yes, the first book was finished and done with, but now.

Well now, they were just starting the second book together. Neither had a clue of what was about to happen.

Her world would soon crumble before her and she would begin a whole new chapter, she would shed the normal human life she had and be a warrior once again. Perhaps Stephen would return to save his love, and once again their fates would be intertwined.

But that's for another book isn't it.

Another time.

Another page.

Another story.

[angelamajiki]

PARINGS: Brother! Tamaki Amajiki x Female! Sister! Reader

CW: yandere, incest, stealthing, con to noncon, quirk play, riding, manipulation, possessiveness, slight angst, implied kidnapping

AN: thank you to @suzuki-violin-school for beta reading!! @sightoru @bonesoftheimpala come get y’all juice

You always had a strange relationship with your big brother, seeming to be just a touch close for your parent’s liking. But the pair of you never paid too much mind to it. Something about it just felt natural and right. You were thick as thieves, always confiding and comforting each other when no-one else seemed well enough to do the job.

When you ran to your brother’s house the second your first boyfriend broke up with you for a completely arbitrary reason, leaving you to cry on your nii-san’s shoulder to deal with your heartache.

“I told you he was no good for you, bunny. I knew from the start that something was wrong with him. There’s no one that’s good enough for my baby sister.”

Then it happened again. And again. And again, until it seemed like every partner you’ve ever had lost interest after the first few months of your relationship. It was devastating to feel unloved and unwanted, but at least you had your big brother to make everything better. Tamaki always reminded you how much he loved you, how smart and intelligent you were, how anyone would be lucky to have you, and the people who have dumped you were complete fools to not see what a gem you were.

And anyone would be lucky to have your big brother; you reminded him as well. The number seven pro hero who had finally blossomed into a confident, top-tier hero with a heart of gold. He was so strong, not to mention a heartthrob. Maybe it felt wrong to be jealous of the attention he gets from the media for his work along with his looks. Still, maybe it was because you knew better than anyone else that one day, the devotion he showed towards you would be the devotion he showed towards his own partner.

Not that you ever planned to tell him you didn’t want his undivided attention to be cast elsewhere, but just like everything else about your relationship, it flowed out naturally when you were crying about your recent first date that had ghosted you after dinner.

“Tama-nii, I’m never going to find someone! Why does no one want me?”

You sobbed into his chest, clinging to him like you did when you were a child, searching for the lost innocence of your youth in his arms. His strong hands embraced you without question, without judgment, as he kissed the top of your head tenderly while shushing you gently.

“Oh, bunny. That’s not true at all-”

What could he know about your struggle? The media treats him like the very man who hung the stars in the sky, and how could you blame them? He was the moon, the very embodiment of tenderness that waxes and wanes with a gentle, shimmering brilliance that you can’t help but hide in the shadows of.

“Yes, it is! What could you possibly know of not being wanted when you’re just going to end up leaving me like everyone else does?” His silence spoke louder than your own sobbing. “One day, you’ll find someone and leave me to be alone again because no one wants me!”

His hand, that touch you’ve become so familiar with, gently strokes your lower back.

“Who said I don't want you? You're making assumptions, little bunny.”

His words tickled your ear, got your heart racing as he quelled your cries of anguish. “Because I certainly do.”

Nimble fingers tilted your chin up to meet his soft gaze, lust clouding his eye like the calm before the storm.

“B-But not like that-”

“Exactly like that.”

His words lit a fire in your core, but forced ice to run through your veins. Your brother could never have you in the way you wanted him to, the way you needed him to.

“It's not that simple.” You choked out, straining to contain yourself from your fleeting desires. This fleeting feeling of weakness can't let you risk your relationship with your brother, or worse, let him be your everything for just a moment and watch him walk away when he's done. “We can't.”

“And why is that? Isn't it obvious that I'm not going anywhere unless I'm with you?”

His face inched closer to yours, a blush splattering his pale skin up to his ears.

“It’s wrong-”

Your eyes flicked to his lips for a brief moment as you found yourself frozen.

“Not if I love you.”

Plush lips sealed over yours, enveloping you in the tenderness you'd had always envied him for. The love, the obsession he had for you had come crashing down in waves over you as you kissed him back, eager to feed off his affection and attention.

Teeth and tongue clashed together in a messy display of the taboo; hips pushed flush against each other as you whined into his mouth, sobbing in the relief of finally feeling yearned for.

The question of whether or not it was right wasn't plaguing you anymore, not like it did you when you scorned yourself for the infectious desires that coiled in your core late at night. His love cleansed you, cured you of your ailment as his tongue and lips made their way to your neck.

Sweet nothings tickled your ear as he nibbled and kissed along your tender flesh, leaving bright pink spots in his loving wake. The tears from your eyes dripped onto his hair, but neither of you seemed to care.

“Don't cry, my love.”

His words were like a symphony, enthralling you with the melody that he carried in his voice and the song he sung to soothe your overwhelmed state. “Let your big brother take care of you, okay?”

Clothes were discarded in a flurry, tossed somewhere beyond the couch the two of you were grinding on. His hands were so strong, yet so gentle as you were carried like a princess, his princess, to his bed where he no doubt intended to indulge in every one of your desires.

Your knight in shining armor kissed you breathless under the moonlight that trickled through the window, casting his shadow over you. Even now, he stole the limelight but you couldn't find it in yourself to care this time, not when he touched you so lovingly.

Nimble fingers kneaded and pulled at your plump flesh, making their ways down to the wetness between your legs. Shame flushed your face as he throatily chuckled. “Wet for me already, imouto? You're flattering your nii-san.”

The pad of his thumb circled your clit gently, sharp eyes watching as your body jolted and twitched at the sensation. “You’re acting as though you've never been touched before.”

You hear the smile in his voice without even seeing it. It only served to flush your shame even further, avoiding the eyes that were fucking you with everything they had.

“Don’t take those pretty eyes off of me.”

His middle finger prodded gently at your hole, teasing the twitching thing with circles of his forefingers. Shyly, your eyes turned to him, begging, pleading for him to stop teasing already!

And how could he deny such an unspoken request from the love of his life? Tamaki already knew what you wanted before you even did, he always did. He’s been able to read you like a book, already knowing what would be on the next page before it was written.

Still, he liked to tease, or more so needed to. It would fuel him like no other to finally hear you beg for him, beg for the love only he knew how to give you. Not that he would be so selfish to deny you of all that you wanted, he was more than prepared to spoil his lovely princess.

But, the man couldn't deny the inklings of his insecurities coming back to bite him. There was a chance that you could regret this later, that you would run far from his reach the second the realization that you slept with your brother donned on you. Tamaki wouldn't have it, now or ever.

Your moans drew him back to the present as his finger pumped in and out of you, dragging along your spongy, wet walls that gripped him oh so nicely. He could hardly handle the anticipation of getting to feel you around his cock.

“N-Nii-san! I can't wait, want you inside!”

Your broken cry sent a shudder down his spine and a jump to his cock. Such a desperate little thing you were, but you were his desperate little thing.

Maneuvering the both of you, he sat you in his lap while holding your ass flush to his hips.

“You know what to do, pretty girl.”

Swallowing thickly, you pulled his cock out of his boxers and positioned yourself to sink down on it.

“Y-You’ll pull out, right?”

“Of course, imouto.”

That was all you needed. Determined to please him, you pushed just the tip in before sitting all the way down on it. A choked gasp filled the space as you felt the fullness of your brother’s cock inside of you.

“S-So full, nii-san!” He stretched you perfectly, letting any pain fade comfortably into pleasure.

It was then that Tamaki decided he would ruin you, not only for himself but for anyone else who dared to think they would be able to please you.

As you ground your hips down into his, you couldn't help but start to feel him grow inside you. Was this normal for sex?

“Ah! Hold on, it's really starting to hurt nii-san.”

Your hips lifted off of his, only to be slammed back down by those strong hands you've come to love.

“Just relax, princess. I'm doing this because I love you.”

Admittedly, this was his first time to try to manifest this part of his body, but he had to try for you, didn't he? Your future with him depended on it. The kiss he pressed to your temple was to soothe himself more than you, focusing on the horse meat he had eaten early that day just after you called him.

He shushed your struggles, hugging you close and stroking the ever-growing bulge in your stomach as he completed his manifestation.

“There we go.” He kissed your cries of the pain away. “It’s okay, you’re okay, princess.”

You had to understand that he was doing this for both of you. He’d ruin that cunt of yours, make it so no man other than Tamaki and his quirk could ever satisfy you.

“You were made to my cock, and mine alone, princess. I'll make you see that.”

The pain was nearly unbearable as he began to thrust up into you, hitting your cervix with the strange cock head he had produced. His hand stayed flush to the bulge on your stomach, stroking it gently as he pounded into you from below.

Your cries and moans meshed together in a perfect melody, one that was always destined to be sung by the both of you, together as one.

Neither of you were going to last long, not with his quirk in play.

“Oh God, I'm gonna cum, princess!” His thrusts became erratic, pounding into you with a new vigor.

“Y-You promised to pull out!” You cried in frustration, feeling his cum fill you up to the brim and dripping out of even with his cock still inside. Tamaki thumbed at your clit to help push you over the edge as he shrunk his cock back down, feeling you cum around him with a cry and shaky legs.

He pulled out, looking at the bulge his cum inside you left behind as he pushed on it gently, watching it gush out of you.

“Now no one else will ever want you.”

[fictionsmooches]

PORCO X READER X PIECK

Plot: after a small fight with Porco, Pieck helps (y/n) get Porco jealous, while also having fun with her.

Contains: sweating, degradation, Praia, name calling ‘slut’ whore’ ect.ect., oral sex, unprotected sex, thigh riding, lesbian sex, 18+ MDNI

Word count; 3k-ish

Classes had already been out for the day, and with a long weekend around the corner, you were more than ready to get this ‘Porco issue” sorted out. Your whole life felt like it was spent between Pieck and Porco. You three had formed a bond unlike any other. You shared secrets, hopes, and protected each other on and off the battlefield.

“Look (y/n), a small fire lit under his ass wouldn’t hurt him. Besides, he’s been awfully rude to me lately. I wouldn’t mind making him a little jealous myself.” Pieck said.

All week he had been acting funny towards you. A little too funny for your comfort. It all started when you and Pieck decided to hang out without Porco. He had been taking extra lesions from Zeke as of lately, so he wouldn’t come home until late. The dorms were too quiet to be alone. Your thoughts had rang too loud to be left alone with quiet ticks of clocks to keep you company.

Pieck had no roommate since Annie left for Paradis, so you decided to have a sleepover. The two of you spent the night swapping stories of the week and laughing over nothing. It was a well needed pleasant night. However, In the morning when you arrived home you could see the hurt all over Porco’s face. He was sitting up on his bed. He faced the door. Dark circles rimmed his eyes, you knew for a fact he didn’t sleep at all last night.

“Where were you? You know you worried me to death!” he yelled standing up. His loud tone took over the whole room. It was as if nothing else existed apart from you two in this room.

“Oh I'm sorry Pock.. I don’t mean to worry you. I just got lonely waiting here for you to come back so I had a sleepover with Pieck.” you spoke softly as if to sooth him. You really didn't mean to make him worry, that was the last thing you wanted.

“Well the least you could have done was left a note.” he said brushing passed you as he walked through the still open door. His voice was cold and numb. You hated seeing this side of Porco, the cold side of him.

You could deal with his anger outbursts, you could manage the yelling or the cursing when he was upset. You could at least talk him down from that, but you can't help him when he was like this. How could you help somebody who didn't feel nothing? This was the first time he ever acted like this towards you, and it felt horrible.

Sure he yelled at Reiner and even got too snappy with Pieck every now and again- but not you. He made a habit of bragging to everyone that you’d be his wife one day and how beautiful you were whenever you weren’t around. You knew Porco was smitten for you but he never acted on it.

You waited all year for Porco to make the first move but feared he never would. Maybe it was because he wanted to live up to Marcel’s legacy. Maybe he didn’t want to ruin the friendship between you and Pieck. But it looked as though he’d never act on those feelings now.

“Pieck.. what if he never talks to me again?” you spoke as you slipped down onto Pieck’s lap. Her skirt was damp with the tears you’d been crying all day.

“I highly doubt that. You just have to show him that if he doesn’t act fast, he’ll lose you.”

You nodded and sat up. You wiped your last tear away and raised your fist.

“Ok. What’s the plan?”

Pieck slipped her arm around your waist and pulled you closer. Your thighs now touched one another as she closed in the gap between you two. She cupped her free hand over your ear, she whispered softly.

“You want me to do what?! Pieck, we aren’t little girls anymore! We can’t just ‘practice’ like we did when we were little!” you jumped slightly. She pulled you back into her grasp.

“And why not! Am I not your type?” Pieck teased.

“It’s not that” you looked away. “It’s just.. I don’t know.. Embarrassing?”

Pieck couldn’t help but giggle at your shyness. It is true that you two used to practice kissing each other when you were children. You needed to be sure that when the time came, and you married your future spouse, you’d be ready. But you were not children anymore. You couldn’t just kiss her and act like it meant nothing. After all, you had some morals left.

Sure Porco and Pieck fought about who would be the one to marry you- but you never thought anything of it. Why would you? Wasn't it natural to hold hands with your best friends? Your mind ticked and ticked until finally you could form a coherent thought. Was Pieck in love with you? And was Porco as well? How long had they been? Either way, the idea of kissing Pieck didn’t seem so far-fetched anymore.

You could hear Porcos boots clomping in the distance, he had always been so brash with his walking. You often felt bad for the poor wood floors he had walked on.

Just as the door knob turned, Pieck cupped your face and pressed her lips against yours. As soon you were connected, you could feel yourself pooling under your skirt. Pieck had begun rubbing on your thigh, and that definitely didn't help the dampness from collecting. The warmth of her mouth took over your whole body. You couldn’t help but melt into the kiss, your mouth opened slightly as Pieck shoved her tongue into yours.

You knew Porco could walk in at any moment, and the excitement of him catching you made you want to kiss Pieck even more. It felt so dirty to be like this. To have Pieck’s hand up your skirt, and to have Porco possibly see. you wouldn't dream of pulling away. It felt too good to stop now.

The moment the door actually opened, Porco just stood there- eyes wide as he watched Pieck absolutely degrade the mouth he wanted for himself. He had dreamed about parting those lips countless times. He tried to imagine if your mouth felt as good as it did in his wet dreams. His now half hard cock twitched as he watched Pieck pull away from you, a string of saliva still connecting you two.

“Good evening Pock.” she spoke with a smile as if nothing just happened.

He avoided his gaze from the two of you. “Yeah.. whatever” he said, nearly throwing his books on his desk. He took a seat as he covered his face- hoping it would make his blush less noticeable.

Pieck kissed your forehead. “I’ll see you later my sweet (y/n), i’ll be late to class.” she said walking out of your dorm with a wink. You sat breathless at what had just happened. Pieck had unlocked something so sinister in you, and you feared that simple kissing wouldn't be enough for you anymore.

As time went on you wouldnt understand how Pieck could just go along with you like nothing happened. You walked to class together as usual, ate lunch like you usually would- but in the back of your mind the only thing you could think about was Pieck. You craved her touch on your body. You longed for her hands and for her mouth, but you wanted Porco’s gaze upon you just as much.

“Uhh Earth to (y/n)?” Pieck said waving her hand in front of you. You had spaced out at the table you had been studying at. Porco sat at your left and Pieck across from you.

“I’m sorry. I just got lost in thought!” You rubbed the back of your head In embarrassment.

The stuffy room you sat in, had once been dedicated to strategizing wars and battles but the campus had now converted them into study halls for students. You weren’t sure if the weather made the room feel humid or if you had imagined it to distract yourself from forming tension between you three.

Large windows covered the walls of the room, the sunlight coming in gave you a clear view of everything in the room. The tables were old and worn, chairs wobbled ever so slightly, and the books on the shelf were slowly collecting dust as years went by.

“Is it hot in here?” You ask aloud, fanning yourself with your hand.

“I’m sure it is, and these uniforms don’t help out any.” Pieck smiled was she pulled her book away from her face.

Porco slid his hand on your thigh from under the table, he snickered as he turned the page of his book with his other hand.

You gulped quietly.

“Yeah I’m getting tired of all these layers, I wish I could peel off a few, don’t you Pieck?”  Porco said as his hand gilded under your skirt, calloused hands rubbed small circles on your inner thighs. You were being too obvious, you had always been too obvious.

Pieck caught on quickly to the soft movements Porco made under the table and your breath heaving. Her eyes made their way to your warm cheeks with a smirk.

“I understand completely, Porco.” Pieck looked directly in your eyes “It’s almost like I could undress entirely right now.” she began fiddling with the top buttons of her shirt.

You could feel it happening again. The wetness starting to build between your legs was unbearable.

You were practically gasping for air as Porco’s hand slowly started making its way closer and closer to your clothed cunt. Your clit ached with the thought of his touch. All sense of shame was gone at this point. Pieck’s shirt was half way opened at this point. The bits of her lace bra were exposed more and more with every bottom she slowly undid.

You couldn’t tell if your arousal came more from Piecks undressing or from Porcos touch, but at this point it didn't matter, you only knew you needed more. You wished to be laid against Pieck’s chest as Porco bent you over the wooden table, just imagining it made you bucked your hips in desperation for more friction. Porco slowly placed the pad of his middle and ring finger against your clit.

He withdrew his hand entirely as you let out a soft moan.

“It’s almost time for dinner, we gotta get going if we want to beat the crowd.” Porco said, looking at the clock on the wall.

“Right! Best if we leave now.” Pieck said with a devilish smile as she began buttoning up her shirt.

The two left you there panting for air, and longing for hands all over your body. The light of golden hour stained the room with warm hues. Your mind raced with what had just happened, and why you were left hot and bothered. Your legs spread open on the chair you had been sitting it, a small puddle laid under you.

The next day You woke to an empty dorm. Porco had been long gone at training. You knew you would have most of the day to yourself but today your mind raced with thought of Pieck and Porco. At times you shifted your weight to distract yourself from the overwhelming thoughts you craved.

It wasn’t long before a knock at the door sent a shiver up your spine that jolted you to sit up.

“(Y/N)?” Pieck called as she let herself in. “I assume Porcos is training?”

You nodded.

“Ooh so you’re all alone?” Pieck’s tone sounded sultry like she was alluding to something. You felt the heat rising in your face.

She made her way over to your bed. Her foot steps echoed in the room with every step she took. She took a seat on your bed. And leaned over to your ear.

“Have you been thinking of me?”

You avoided looking at her. “Maybe” you answered

“Or have you been thinking of Porco?” She asks nibbling at your ear lobe. Your breath couldn’t help but deepen.

“Maybe” you answer again

Pieck pulled away and repositioned herself. She was now sitting with her back fully against the wall, her legs laid out over the length of the bed.

“Come here (y/n). I want you to show me the way you want to grind on Porcos lap” she lifted her skirt to expose her thighs. She looked so soft from where you sat.

You don’t think twice about straddling her thigh. Your clothed cunt made contact with her soft skin sending a shiver down your spine. Piecks hand found their place on your ass with a squeeze.

“Such a desperate little whore you’ve become. You get one kiss from me and a half assed teasing from Porco, and you’re so eager to do as I say?” She squeezed your ass again only this time more rougher.

You could only moan in response.

Pieck had begun dragging you back and forth on her thigh, pleasure rippled through your body.

“Unbutton your shirt for me”

You hesitated. “What if Porco comes back early?” You whined

“Don’t act like you don’t want him to see you like this. Now unbutton your shirt”

She lifted her leg to make more friction between you and her thigh.

You did as you were told and undid every button to the best of your ability given the circumstances.

“No bra? You really are a whore (y/n)!”

You moaned at her words, your pussy was leaking all over her thigh as you rode her.

Pieck placed your nipple in her mouth and began to suck.

“Fuck-!” You say throwing your head back

She slapped your ass making you moan louder.

Her mouth felt amazing wrapped around the sensitive bud, sending shockwaves through your entire body.

She looked up at you through her eyelashes. She looked as though she was smiling as she sucked on your nipple, she knew what she was doing.

The knot in your stomach had started to tighten.

“Pieck! You’re going to make me cum!”

She pulled away. Without saying anything, she pulled your panties to the side, giving your cunt direct contact with her.

“Cum for me then” she said looking in your eyes.

Your hips moved at a rapid pace as you released on her thigh with a scream.

You were so busy with Pieck that you didn’t even notice Porcos boots clomping down the hallway. By the time you noticed he was already opening the door.

He stepped into the most unexpected but beautiful sight. You say still straddling Piecks thigh, gasping with your tits out. Your cum and sweat covered your body and Piecked thigh, your skirt hiked up over your ass and piecks hands holding on the back of your thighs.

Pieck peered her head to the side “hi Pock!”

You couldn’t help but feel so embarrassed and exposed.

Porcos cock twitched with excitement.

“So this is what you do while I’m off working my ass off?” He says while slicking his hair back more.

You were speechless. When you decided to speak all you could manage to say was “I’m sorry- I couldn’t help myself! I just-“

“Just what? Decided to act like a slut and think I wouldn’t find out?” Porco says.

Your clit jumped with excitement.

Pieck shifted her weight so you lay elbows to the bed with your ass in the air. Pieck guided her hands to your panties and slid them off of you. She spread your ass cheeks and pussy lips for Porcos full view.

“Look Porco, she’s just begging to be filled” Pieck smiled up at you.

You could hear Porco’s zipper being undone behind you.

“She sure is. But I want to hear that from her” he grinned, stroking his cock. The tip was wet with precum already. He stroked as your hole fluttered with excitement.

“Please Porco! Please, I need it!” You said.

“Tell me princess, what do you need?”

Pieck reached her hand underneath to rub your clit.

You gasp nearly being able to talk, “I need you to fuck me Porco! Please fuck me!” You choke out.

“Good girl” he said as he slowly pushed the tip of his hard cock inside. “Mmm.. so fucking wet already” he shoved the enteier length inside you.

You moaned against piecks mouth as she kissed you. Her tongue once again shoving its way into your mouth.

While Porco took his time fucking your tight hole, you slid lower to make contact with Pieck’s lower half. She giggled at the sight of you being so eager to please her. “Here, ill help you.” She said lowering her panties.

You wasted no time lapping up every once of Piecks oozing pussy. She collapsed into the this matress as you attacked her clit.

Piecks moaning caught the attention of Porco. “L-Like what you see Pock? Her mouth feels amazing on my pussy.” Pieck said, smirking.

“I always knew (y/n) would be the perfect little slut.” Porco said speeding up his thrust into your sloppy tight cunt. You moaned against Piecks clit, squeezing down on Porco’s cock in response to his degrading words.

Slowly you added two fingers into Piecks slit.  “Better do a good job (y/n), or I wont let you cum” Porco said slowing his pace. You wasted no time proving at her g-spot. Pieck moaned in delight.

“Good girl.” Pieck said in between moans.

You couldn’t go on much long like this. You needed release and you needed it bad. Porco could tell you where close by the way you began clamping down on his cock.

Pieck was the first to cum as she held a fist full of your hair “(y/n)! You’re gunna make me cum” she exclaimed. She lay breathless on the bed for a moment as Porco kept thrusting into you.

Pieck seized the opportunity to reach under and rub your clit. Pieck’s soft fingertips where enough to send you over the edge. “Porco! I’m coming!” You screamed.

“I’m close (y/n).. where do you want me to finish?” He choked

“Don’t be shy now (y/n) Answer him” Pieck said.

“Inside!” You yelled feeling over stimulated.

“Fuck!” Porco said as he raised inside of you, your pussy drank up every drop of his cum.

You three laid squished against one another, sweat and cum covering your bodies

[yutanology]

Promise Me | Yandere! Nakamoto Yuta X Fem!Reader

Warning : 18+, possessive, foul behaviours, sexual content(nothing biggie), mental illness, death, etc. No proofread. Please, don't be too harsh on me. I'm still new and this is my first ever one shot/fanfiction here :)

Word count : 2.4k+

"Could you just stop?" Y/n whisper shouted at her seatmate who had been bothering her since this morning.

It's not like this is new to her or to anyone in their class but today, he seemed to be more clingy and touchy than he usually was and she found it quite unusual.

By the time she stepped into the school campus this morning, he abandoned his game with his friends on the soccer field just to greet her with his dashing smile and a nice warm hug.

She didn't mind it at first as she was already used to it but when she thought he's going to leave her alone after that, he followed her around instead like a lost puppy. She could almost see a furry tail happily wagging behind him.

Everywhere she goes, he's there right beside her. Either his hands were holding hers or his arms were wrapped around her lower waist. Some people were jealous or happy when they thought they're finally officially together and when someone questioned their relationship, Y/n would immediately respond saying they're just friends while Yuta would say otherwise, leaving them confused.

He was still attached to her during her classes and even ditched his just to be with her. The teachers could only sigh in defeat and shake their head. They knew that whatever they say, there's nothing they can do to make the stubborn guy follow their orders.

At the end, he'd always get what he wants.

The Japanese boy glanced at her side profile. His head was laying on top of his other hand. Seeing her brows furrowed irritatedly, he stopped for a moment before continuing to twirl a few strands of her silky hair between his long fingers.

It doesn't look like he has any plans of keeping his hands to himself at all. She'd been trying to get rid of him for countless times and she failed with all of those useless attempts. She's so close of getting angry at him but she doesn't want to lash out on him and seem like a bad person.

With her another sigh passing through her soft reddish lips, she looked at the clock on the wall. ‘Just five minutes more, Y/n. Just a little more patience, you can do it.’ she tried to convince herself. By those five minutes, she let Yuta play with her hair.

When the school bells rang and echoed around the campus, she immediately fixed her things and rushed out of the classroom before the teacher could even dismiss them. The corridors are already crowded and she could only hope that Yuta wouldn't be able to follow after her this time.

She decided to go to the restroom and stayed there until she was certain that Yuta's nowhere around her. He's really acting weird and she couldn't understand why. Whenever she asked what's wrong with him, he'd always say the same thing like 'I'm fine. It's all in your mind.’

His gaze, the way he looks at her also felt different this time. She felt something uneasy somewhere in the pit of her stomach or maybe there's something wrong with 𝘩𝘦𝘳. Maybe she's just overthinking way too much since that's what she always do mostly when she doesn't get enough sleep and she stayed up late last night.

That's right... these shit are all just in her head.

She released an exhausted sigh and turned the faucet on to wash her face, hoping that it would also wash her frustrations away. She reached for a handkerchief from her bag and wiped her face dry as she made her way out of the comfort room.

Her heart almost jumped out of her ribs when she found Yuta standing just a single step from the exit. She gasped and her hand immediately flew to her chest in surprise. "Yah! Stop scaring me like that!" she yelled and he only chuckled in amusement.

"I've been waiting for you. What took you so long?" he asked her, locking his hand on hers as he lead her to the canteen. Eyes of the people they passed by were immediately on them like they're more interesting than the lessons that their teachers taught them.

"Wait, why were you waiting for me?" confusion was evident on her face.

"So we can eat together for lunch, of course. Come on, we don't have all the time. Classes are going to start after forty minutes." he casually said, pulling her closer to him when they walked passed a group of boys and he didn't fail to notice the way they looked at Y/n.

He didn't like it, not even a bit.

Y/n seriously couldn't count how many times she sighed at how she always end up letting Yuta do whatever he wanted to do with her. From the simple hand holds to sudden random kisses that he pepper on her face. No matter how hard she tried to push him off, he'd always stick himself even more closer to her.

It was like that for the passed weeks and it was honestly so tiring as hell. Yuta just won't leave her alone even when she goes to the restroom, he would insist to wait outside the cubicle that she had to push him away and lock the main door of the room.

She could barely talk to other people peacefully as he would shoo them away immediately and ask them to leave her alone. It was so frustrating and she's getting fed up of his unexplained foolish practices.

She's well aware that the guy likes her more than just a friend and she also can't deny that she's attracted to him but these behaviours of his are just too much for her.

The said dirty blonde haired Japanese guy was sitting closely beside her, his chin rested on her right shoulder as he watched her turn pages of the book that she's reading. He wasn't paying attention to the words written on the dead leaves. His eyes stared at her small hands, wondering how they would feel like around his cock—

"Yuta." the guy's ears perked up when she said his name. Snaking his arms around her waist, he pulled her to his chest and planted a kiss on her neck. Her cheeks heated at the unexpected skin contact but she tried her best to ignore the butterflies that he's giving her.

She's planning to finally confront him and she had to make him stop whatever he's doing cuz it's no fun at all. It's not entertaining and she's not amused at all. "Yuta." he hummed, his kisses getting wet and he started to graze his teeth on her skin, lightly nibbling on them until he finally bit hard enough to leave a mark.

A whimper tried to escape her mouth but she's fast enough to bite her lower lip, trapping the sound until it disappeared on it's own. He was disappointed when she didn't make any sound for him, thinking that he didn't do well enough to make her feel good so he ran the tip of his tongue on her neck.

His hot minty breath heated her skin and tingles spread around her body when he blew her sensitive ear, nibbling her earlobe and placing a kiss on one of her flushed cheeks. His hands wandered under her blouse, caressing the side of her hips with his thumb.

He slowly dragged his large hands up under her breasts and just when he was about to touch them, Y/n pulled away from him. A low whine and groan simultaneously erupted from him, complaining at the lose of skin contact from her.

Y/n looked around the library if someone saw them and she was thankful that no one was there but only them. She straightened her blouse, closing the book and stood up. "Where are you going?" he also stood up from his seat, ready to follow her wherever she's going.

She didn't answer him. She slung one of her bag's strap on her shoulder, walking away with the book and placed it back to where she took it. Yuta was quick to keep up with her steps, confused of why she was suddenly in a hurry.

When they finally got out of the library, she stopped at the nearby bleachers where students barely pass by and turned to him with an exasperated sigh, "Yuta, seriously, what's wrong with you?" the way she questioned him came out more stressed out than how she wanted it to be.

Yuta blinked his eyes a few times as if he's trying to figure out what she meant. "What do you mean, what's wrong with me? I'm totally fine. Are you okay?" it was his turn to ask her, walked close to her and placed a hand on her forehead.

"Are you sick? You don't seem fine to me. Let me take you to the clinic—"

"Yuta, stop." she stepped away from him before he could even hold her hand. He halted, his brows met as his eyes stared at her worryingly.

"Stop whatever you're doing to me and please, leave me alone. I also need some time for myself and other people around me, alright? You can't keep me from interacting with anyone. This is honestly suffocating, Yuta. We can't keep doing this."

He felt like his heart shattered into tiny pieces. His chest tightened and his airways narrowed, making him unable to breath properly. Without him knowing, tears were already streaming down his cheeks.

Y/n was taken aback at this, immediately feeling guilty for making him cry. She didn't expect him to be this emotional for his appearance.

"Look, I'm sorry but—"

"D-don't you love me anymore, Y/n?" He didn't let her finish her words, leaving her speechless at the question.

Her mouth left agape, struggling to find the right words to tell him. "Did you find someone else better than me that's why you're planning to leave me, is that it?" more salty water poured out of his eyes.

"Yuta, w-what are you talking about? We're not in a relationship to begin with."

"Then let's be together officially! Just you and me, Y/n. I'll do anything just to be with you. I promise, I'll be the best boyfriend you'll ever have. I'll give you everything you want—" he held her arms, "—just promise me I'll be the only one you'll ever love and want to be with. Promise me, Y/n. Promise me!"

Yuta secured his arms around her, holding onto her desperately. Scared that if he lets go, he might lose her. He can't let that happen. Like what he said, he'll do whatever it takes just to have her.

All for himself.

"Y-you have to promise me, Y/n."

Her head was clouded with a lot of thoughts. She was barely thinking straight and her emotions also messed up with her. She really likes Yuta. The increasing speed of her heartbeat and the butterflies flying around her stomach with euphoria whenever she's with him didn't lie at all but it felt wrong.

These feelings didn't feel right.

She pulled herself away from him and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Yuta..." that was all she said before she left him without even looking back at him.

She had no idea how it broke him and how it made him do things that a normal person wouldn't do. He saw nothing but red after she disappeared from his sight. Everyone who tried to touch or talk to her the next day suddenly disappeared, a minute after they left somewhere else.

At first, she didn't think much about it until the number of people disappearing quickly increased and made everyone alarmed. All schools around the place were forced to close for a moment and people were told to stay at home with tight security to keep them safe.

Everyone was scared including Y/n, of course.

It made her so anxious that she could barely sleep at night. One morning, a knock on her door echoed around her silent apartment and she panicked, quickly hiding on her bedroom.

She almost peed her pants in fear when the knocking and ringing of doorbells continued for minutes. Her phone went off on her nightstand and she ran to it. Yuta's calling.

Without a second thought, she answered it with trembling voice. "Y-yuta..."

"Y/n, are you okay? Please open your door for me, I have to make sure you're safe. I'm the one outside your house."

And that was all it took for him to be with her. Make her scared to be outside, convince her that everyone is dangerous and he's the only one who can protect her.

Whenever he goes outside to buy food and other necessities for the both of them, he'd always return with a small cut or bruises and it made Y/n scared that she might lose him too.

He's all she had left.

He made her thought of that. He's all and everything she could ever need. She'd be nothing without him.

"Do you love me?" he asked and she nodded silently.

"If you really do, promise me that you'll love me and only me, Y/n. I wanna hear it from you." Yuta looked at her straight in the eyes when he said those words.

"I promise." his heart raced inside his chest.

A smile stretched out on his plump lips. "I love you, Y/n. So much than you could ever imagine." He meant it. He always had and always will. He leaned his body closer to her, locking his lips with hers and they moved in sync.

This is paradise to him.

He couldn't explain how much happy he's right now. With her here in his arms, it's the only place where she's safe. He watched her drift off to sleep, he kissed her forehead when her eyes finally closed.

He could look at her like this forever. The love bites that he painted on her skin looks so beautiful. She's like the most beautiful painting he'd ever seen and she deserve to be placed on his art gallery but she's only for him to be looked at.

He sighed dreamily as he continued to press more kisses on her neck. He successfully made her love him. There's nothing he could ask for, now that her naked body is already tangled with him under their soft blanket.

He could only hope that she'd keep her words and stay true to him.

Feedbacks are pretty much appreciated and requests are open! Feel free to share your thoughts!

I will not always be active but I will try my best to attend each of your requests and to also interact with y'all.

I apologize for not being word-perfect in English. English sadly ain't for me—

[drarrily-we-row-along]

hello, excuse me if this makes you uncomfortable but my birthday is September 14 and I have very few friends and therefore I did not receive congratulations or gifts, could I please ask for something with drarry and scorbus? something like Harry and his children living in the manor anda Lucius and Narcissa still alive, I know it's out of your comfort zone and if you can't or don't want to then sorry for the inconvenience🥺😖

Scorbus

Hello friends, First thing- Happy birthday to the nonnie who requested this. Second thing- Yes! For your birthday and for the other lovelies who have requested Scorbus, I will write one (1) Scorbus fic. I will do my best but I've got to be honest- I don't have any real feelings about Scorbus (I don't read much of it and didn't enjoy The Cursed Child). So we'll have to see how it turns out.

cw: talks about hospice care and future death (not of a main character- we're talking about Lucius, no death will take place in the fic) without further ado, here's the best take I can give you. <3

-------------------

"But Daaad," Albus whined, "I don't want to go!"

"I know, bud," Harry replied, instantly regretting calling his 15-year-old 'bud', as he helped Lily find her bag.

James came in and flopped on Albus' bed, "It's just because he-"

"Shut up!" Albus shrieked, pouncing on him and smothering him with a pillow.

"Boys-" Harry started even as the boys started screaming and wrestling and Lily started to cry about not being able to find something. "Enough!" he shouted, casting a shield charm between the boys. "All of you," he said, "Let's just take a breath."

"But-" multiple voices rang out.

"No buts," he interrupted. "Deep breaths. Right now."

(Read more below the cut)

Everyone glared at him but at least they stopped talking.

"Okay," he said, "James, please stop intentionally trying to bother your brother."

Albus stuck his tongue out at him.

"Al, please finish packing. Lily, your straightener is in the bathroom under the sink."

They let out a collective groan.

"Look guys," he said. "I know. I know it's hard when I have to go to work. I know being in a house where someone is about to die is difficult. But Draco is a good friend and if I can help Lucius pass on, I need to do it. Okay?"

All of his children nodded sullenly.

"Besides," he added, "The manor is huge. You won't even have to see Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy. And," he said, smiling at Albus, "Scorpius will be there. I'm sure he'll be glad to have a friend, yeah?"

Albus rolled his eyes and just muttered, "Can you get out so I can pack, please?"

With a sigh, Harry nodded and left, thinking for the thousandth time that single parenting was really fucking hard.

---------

He hadn't expected this to be his life. Harry had expected that he'd join the aurors or that he'd go on to be a quidditch player.

Working as a hospice care healer had never been in the plans. But there was no denying that he was good at it; he wasn't grossed out by all of the ways that bodies failed as a person began the process of dying. He didn't mind the late nights and early mornings. He actually usually enjoyed listening to stories from his patient as they reflected on their lives. And death didn't bother him. He'd spent nearly twenty years in this profession, he was good at his job, and he liked it.

Still, as he stood looking at the Manor, nerves that he hadn't felt in years settled in. He couldn't be sure if it was because the Manor still gave him the creeps all these years later, if it was because it was Lucius Malfoy and they'd never had the best of relationships, if it was because he was anxious about how Draco would handle his father's death, or something else entirely.

"Let's go," Albus snapped, impatient and anxious.

He nodded once and stepped up onto the top step and rang the door bell.

Draco opened the door, looking exhausted.

"Hey," Harry said softly, aching to hold him, to take him into his arms and hide him away from the rest of the world and all that was happening to him.

But they didn't do that. Not in public, not where anyone could see them including their families. Maybe especially their families. "Hi," Draco replied and Harry knew he was wishing for the same thing. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course," he said because there hadn't really ever been a choice. He loved Draco and he would do anything that would help make this easier. "Let me just get these guys settled in and I'll check in with your dad, okay?"

He nodded, "I have you guys set up in the West wing," he said as he started inside, "I know this is probably not the way you were hoping to spend your summer hols-" Draco started.

"It's okay," Lily said, falling into step beside Draco. "I'm sorry about your dad," she added.

"Thank you," he replied.

And Harry smiled, if nothing else, he and Ginny still agreed it was important to raise their kids to practice kindness.

-----------

It was a long day. The first day at a new job almost always was, lots of intake paperwork, lots of working to make sure they had all their doses right in order to keep their patient comfortable, and inevitably lots of input from the patient's family.

By the time Harry had gotten everything set up and diagnostic spells and alerts in place, Lucius was sleeping comfortably in the hospice bed, Narcissa on the cot beside him.

Only Draco remained awake, watching Harry work from the sofa in the corner.

When he finished he nodded to the door and Draco followed him out. "You okay?" he asked softly once the door closed.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" he whispered.

"Yeah, love," he replied, giving Draco's hand a quick squeeze. "Of course."

Draco nodded once and led the way through the halls to a different wing entirely. He opened the last door on the left and let Harry in first.

Harry looked around curiously. He'd obviously seen Draco's room in his own home but not the room he occupied when he stayed at the Manor.

"It's actually not the room I stayed in as a child," Draco informed him as he made his way to the drawers to pull out two pairs of pajamas. "It gave me nightmares," he said, "after everything in this awful house."

He hummed, "It must be hard," he said gently, slipping into the comfortable clothes Draco had tossed him. "A lot of trauma wrapped up in an already challenging event." He folded down the covers and climbed in, making a space for Draco so he could curl up in front of him.

"Harry?" he asked once he'd settled back against him and pulled Harry's arm snug around his waist.

He hummed, pressing a kiss to the smooth, soft skin of Draco's neck.

"Do you think you might want to tell our families about us?"

Harry froze, "Do you think you might want to tell our families?" he asked.

"I asked first."

"Personally," Harry said, "Yes. I would like that. I don't like keeping things from my kids and you're," he swallowed. It was silly to be nervous, he'd said this before, but he couldn't help the surge of adrenaline. "I love you, Draco. You're important to me. But the real question is do you want to tell them? You dad-"

"My father is a bigoted arse," he snapped. "And yes he is dying but Harry you make me so happy and I just," he sighed. "I don't want to keep it a secret anymore. If he hates it, he hates it but I don't want him to go from this life thinking that he got to control mine."

Harry didn't quite know what to say.

"I'm awful. I know. I-"

"Draco," he said, squeezing him a little tighter, "I wasn't judging you. I don't think you're awful. Grief and death affect us all differently. If that's what you want, let's do it."

"Let's tell our kids first."

--------

Harry called a family meeting the next day after he'd check on Lucius and they'd done a bit of exercise and gone for a walk.

In retrospect, this might not have been the best thing to call it. Family meeting had never had the best associations and the last one they'd had was to tell the kids that he and Ginny were getting a divorce.

His kids were cagey, Scorpius was withdrawn, and Draco was honestly a bit erratic.

"Okay," he said, smiling at the room, only Lily smiled back. "So we," he said pointing back and forth between him and Draco, "have some news."

"Oh Salazar, please no," Albus whispered.

Harry gave him the look the one every parent had perfected by the time their child was three. "It's good news," Harry said.

"We're together," Draco blurted.

James barely looked up from his book as he said, "Called it."

Lily said "Like together-together?"

And Albus promptly burst into tears, fleeing the room.

"Albus!" Scorpius shouted, jumping up and chasing after him.

Harry and Draco looked at each other. "Maybe he thought that Ginny and I would get back together someday?"

James rolled his eyes, "That's not it. He and Scorpius are like," he waved a careless hand, "a thing."

Draco's eyes widened.

"Oh," Harry said. "And no one could have said something about this before?"

James shrugged, turning the page, "I tried to say something yesterday and you told me to shut up."

"I did not use those words," Harry said.

"Yeah, but that's what you meant."

Harry opened his mouth to argue, he was careful about his words, never wanting his kids to feel like they were unloved and unheard.

"It's fine, dad," James said, waving him off, "You should talk to Albus."

He was right, they really did need to talk to Albus and Scorpius.

----------------

When they found them, Al and Scorpius were sitting together on one of the swings and Al was still crying.

"Alright," Harry said, transfiguring a couple of sticks into chairs. "Let's talk about this."

"You're the worst," Albus shouted at him. "It's like you're intentionally trying to ruin my life without even knowing you're doing it."

It took everything in Harry not to point out the fallacy in that logic. Draco, too, if the sharp intake of breath was anything to go by. "Could you tell me more about why you feel that way?" Harry asked, gently squeezing Draco's thigh.

"Because he thinks you're going to ask us to break up," Scorpius said, biting his bottom lip.

"And even if you don't, everyone's going to think it's weird," Albus said, a hiccoughing sob escaping.

"Think what's weird?" Draco asked.

"If you guys are dating and we're dating," Scorpius said.

Harry nodded, "I think I understand," he said. "But honestly, guys, we're not going to ask you to stop dating and it doesn't really matter what other people think."

"Easy for you to say," Albus sniffled, "You're Harry Potter. Everyone already loves you."

"I agree with you dad," Draco said, "other people's opinions are irrelevant. It's not as though you were raised together or anything like that."

"Well everyone already hates you anyway," Albus snapped, "So why would it matter?"

"Albus," Harry warned, "Apologize."

"No, it's alright," Draco said. "I used to be a lot like you, you know," he said. "I used to really care about what other people thought and how they felt."

"What changed?" Scorpius asked curiously.

"Your mum, actually," he said, with a little smile. "She helped me to look at myself and see who I really was, not the person that people believe me to be. She helped me to recognize that other people didn't define me, I did." He shrugged, "At the end of the day, if I chose to listen to them I was still the one defining myself that way."

"That," Albus started, wiping his nose on the back of his hand, "Makes sense."

"Good," Draco said, nodding once.

Harry squeezed his hand, "Right, well, congratulations, you two. Please be sure if you decide to make things physical you talk to one of us about protection spe-"

"Dad!" Albus shrieked, covering his ears. "Shut up! Shut up! Merlin save me."

Draco laughed, attempting to stifle it with a cough and failing in Harry's opinion.

"I'm just saying," Harry said, holding up his hands in defeat. "We should probably have this conversation at some point."

Albus shook his head and Scorpius had turned as red as a beet.

"Well. I'm off, then. Back to work," Harry replied.

Draco took his hand, "I'll walk you," he offered and they headed back to the house.

"Well," Harry said, once they were a good distance away. "That was unexpected."

"Was it, though?" Draco asked. "The way Scorp talks about Albus," he trailed off. "Well, let's just say he reminded me a little too much of me at that age."

"Had a crush on me that long have you?"

He laughed, "Longer. My father was just too bigoted to take my ramblings for what they really were."

Harry leaned over and pecked his cheek, "Well, I after that, I think that telling your parents will be a piece of cake."

-----------------

See the rest of my drabbles here

[leahblackk]

Lies pt.3

(The gif is not mine. Whoever made this thank you so much and I’m sorry)

Summary: After Y/n is kidnapped Spencer needs to find her before it is too late, but this makes Spencer being put into a very familiar position.

Type: Angst.

Alright people, finally we have the last part of lies and I have to thank all of you for the support and for being so patient with me. I am so sorry for taking so long, and I am sorry for what you will read. I might or might not have cried while I was writing it and editing it. And this fucking thing is so longgg so i am sorry. It took 16 pages like what???

With so much love and pain, Leah.

If you haven't read the first and second part here are the links. 

And if you can read this while listening to Moonlight by future Islands it will be perfect because I was definitely listening to it while I wrote this.

People who asked me to tag them: @rexorangecouny, @b-a-utiful, @measure-in-pain, @jemimah-b99, @brod16​ 

Y/n and Spencer have never been apart from each other. There was something that made the two young doctors crave each other. There was a connection with so much chemistry, with so much love and appreciation. The love they felt for each other wasn't like the others, and they never felt that way with anyone. After all, they belong together because they fit together. Because they were meant to be.

One of their first dates was to watch stars while they made a picnic. Spencer remembers the way her hair was being softly moved by the cold wind of that night. The moon wasn't complete because that way, they could see the stars better. The constellations were connected in the way they were, how the sky was being decorated by the little space things we call stars.

Spencer remembers very vividly how she always talks about astronomy and how the sky and space made her feel.

And that night, the stars were out. Spencer wishes she could be there with him to tell him facts about astronomy even though Spencer already knew all those facts. Still, in the way she narrates it, how she talks so happily, how she moves her hands, and how her eyes are sparkly and lighter than the stars itself make everything better. It was better to hear and learn those facts from her than in a boring book he could finish in less than an hour.

But she wasn't with him. He didn't even know where she was, but when he was out there watching the stars while hot, painful tears were streaming down his face. The universe was the only one who could know how he felt because the universe himself was the one that made them be together. Or well, that's what Spencer liked to think.

But certainly, the night sky wasn't that beautiful now she wasn't there. The night was colder, and he felt alone, empty. The stars seem dull in his eyes. The universe and astronomy weren't that beautiful anymore because the only stars Spencer wanted to watch were her eyes.

And then and there, Spencer made a promise. If he didn't find Y/n, he would never look at the night sky ever again. He won't even going to talk about astronomy in his life because that was her thing, and Spencer didn't want to take that away from her, but if he did find her, he would look at the stars every night before he goes to sleep. He would talk about astronomy, but only to her. He would thank the universe for the rest of his life. He would read all the facts so he can tell her because she always wanted to learn. She always asked Spencer about astronomy.

Spencer wanted his universe again.

He was so stuck in his mind. His eidetic memory wasn't a blessing at that moment. So he didn't hear his friend Derek Morgan approaching him.

He stood beside him. The doctor wasn't looking at his friend. He was looking up.

"Did you know space is complete silence? Some people might think it has a specific type of sound. But is silent." He murmurs while Morgan looks at him in confusion.

"No, I didn't know." He was going to encourage his friends, but the young doctor interrupted him.

"Did you know that on mars, the sunset is blue? I think it's something interesting."

"Kid…"

"Did you know that the name milky way galaxy has something to do with Greek mythology and Hercules? It says that Hera was nursing Hercules while she was asleep, and then when she woke up and pulled away, her breast milk spilled across the heavens. But in Greek mythology, Hera didn't like Hercules because it wasn't her son. Y/n told me that."

"Spencer, I think that's pretty interesting, but-"

"Did you know that-"

"Spencer!"

"What?" Spencer finally looked at his friend with tears in his eyes.

"We are going to find her. I promise."

"Are we? I mean, it's been an hour, twenty minutes, and three seconds since she was kidnapped, and we don't even have a clue where she is. Do you think we are gonna find her, or you just say it because you know this is all my fault, and if I didn’t kiss Cat, she wouldn't be kidnapped?"

Morgan sighed and hugged Spencer. The young doctor was known because he didn't like physical contact, but at that moment, he needed it. "This is not your fault. None of this is your fault, and we both knew you had to kiss her. You err was not telling her why you did it, but you will."

"I tried Morgan," Spencer cried. "I tried, but she wouldn't listen to me. Why didn't she listen to me? I love her. I love her more than anything. I can't lose her. I can't."

"You won't, kid. You won't."

And there, Spencer cried in Morgan's shoulder.

 Twenty minutes after, Spencer tried to help the team in everything he could, but sometimes he would space out, thinking in those moments where Y/n would bring him back to reality by holding his knee. He looked down and put his own hand in his knee, trying to remember what it felt when it was her the one doing it.

"Go ahead, Garcia," Morgan said. There weren't pet names anymore. No one was in good humor to flirt. Even Penelope, her best friend, was missing, and his lack of pet names, cocky and sarcastic answers was showing. She didn't smile, but everyone knew something was wrong besides their current situation.

"A-A video has been sent to- to Spencer. It is Y/n" Penelope tried to talk. Her eyes were red, meaning she was crying.

Everyone looks at Spencer. "Show us." He said.

"Right away."

Everyone looked at the screen in front of them, waiting anxiously for the video. Spencer knew it wasn't a good one.  The video started with a woman in front of the camera not giving a chance to see what was being her but apparently it was a chair.

The woman was trying to get a good angle, and when she made it, she started to walk away from the camera, not losing her view—everyone gasped except Spencer and Hotch, who already had their suspicions. The woman was Cat Adams.

"Hiya Spencie, sadly, I don't get to see you, but at least you can see me," she greeted. "I found someone outside of your office, and it was easy to catch her, and you thought she was smart."

Cat stepped aside, leaving Y/n in everyone's view. She had some minor bruises in her temple, and her lip was bleeding, meaning she had to fight for her life. She was awake, but she was looking at anything more than the floor. Her wrists were tied in the back of the chair, so were her ankles.

Spencer looked carefully at her, looking for lethal injuries, and when he didn't find them, he felt relieved. He looked at her face, and his heart hurt at the view, but even at that moment, he thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world to him, she always has been, and she will always be.

"Look at the front Y/n," Cat said. She didn't do what she wanted, so Cat walked where she was and grabbed her chin, moving it to the camera. Spencer watched her eyes, empty, without light he always liked and red, she had been crying. Those pretty eyes weren't looking at him. Those eyes he loved so much were lost, and Spencer thought it was his fault. He believed it was his fault. "Say hi to Spencer," Cat demanded. Y/n didn't listen to her. "I said to say hi to Spencer," she slapped her cheek, making Spencer's tears finally drop, and a few of the team as well. But even though Y/n didn't say anything. "So, someone has decided to be a little brat. You like brats, Spencer?" Cat asked.

Cat disappeared from the view just leaving Y/n there. She exhaled and looked at the camera. She moved her head to the left, trying to escape from the camera view. Adams came back with something the team wouldn't recognize. She smiled and lit it, the tip of the strange object lit up like a small candle, and put it in Y/n's arm, inside of her arm. She gasped and sobbed. She was trying to be strong, strong for them. "You decided to be a brat and don't do what I say, so this is your punishment."

When she didn't receive any painful reaction from the young agent, she put the object away, watching the slight burning she left in Y/n's arm. "Now, I think we can negotiate with your little friends, don't you think?" She looked at her, but she didn't respond. "Alright, crime fighters, this is what I want. The little bitch here aka Spencer's girlfriend, or should I say ex? Did you break up with Spencer Y/n? After you saw how he kissed me, did he kiss you in the same way? I bet he didn't." Y/n remained silent. "When I talk to you, you will answer me," Cat slapped Y/n’s cheek. She looked at Cat with anger this time.

"How far did you go with your obsession for him? If I wanted to be with you, we would have, but he didn't, did he? So you had to plan and do all of this so you can have all the attention and recognition you didn't have as a child, isn't it? How pathetic you are." Y/n finally talk.

"You don't talk to me like that." Cat slapped Y/n cheek with so much strength that it made Y/n spit blood. And then she looked at Cat again and chuckled.

"You wanted me to talk."

Cat ignored her words, being annoyed by them. She looked at the camera and smiled. "How I was saying, what I want is to Spencer to come. You can bring your team I don’t care, besides I want to all of them watch the show, but you had to enter the building alone, and you can’t do dirty tricks or anything like trying to get the FBI inside because I had cameras everywhere and if I see someone else trying to be inside I will kill her. All of you can watch everything from outside, that's actually the plan, and then maybe I can give you back your little girlfriend. You have to enter with any guns, with anything. Just you, and maybe without clothes, only if you want," Cat smirked and then began to walk close to the camera. "You know the rules, but the question if you dare to play the game Spencie. I see you soon." She winked and took the camera, and the video stopped.

Everyone stayed silent.

"Oh! She sent an address." Penelope knowledge.

"How did she escape?" JJ asked.

"That's what I like to know. Care to explain, Strauss?" Hotch talked, wapping the few tears in his eyes when he saw Erin Strauss walk to the BAU.

"Don't talk to me like that, Aaron. This is not my fault."

"Then who is? One of our agents is being there torture, and you didn't even have the decency to say that maniac escape from prison?"

"I didn't want to alarm the team. She killed a few cops on her way out, but apparently, she had everything planned for weeks."

"Obviously, she had," Rossi said. "Remember when you bring Aaron down because you said he wasn't doing a good job? What is this, then? Are you doing a good job, Erin?"

"This is not my fault, and you know it. I have the power to fire you both for being so unrespectful," Erin attacked.

"Oh yeah? Please do it. I really don't care, Erin. Fire me if you want, but I promise you that I will end you if something happens to her. I actually would like to know what your superiors would think about Erin Strauss. The section chief let a criminal escape and then don't say anything about it.”

"Guys, thank you, Hotch and Rossi, but I don't think how this can help to rescue her, and my girlfriend is out there being tortured by a psychopath, and I really don't think that fighting will help."

"Reid, it's right, we can discuss this later. Right now, we need to think about how we can act," Erin proposed.

"There's any other way than me going," Spencer said with confidence.

"No! Of course, no, that's the worst plan, Spence. I don't think it would work. She's crazy, remember? She would kill you and-" JJ started.

"JJ, she's my girlfriend, and she's suffering, and it's probably my fault."

"It's not," Hotch said. "We will act, and we will find her, I promise you. Besides, she's really strong."

Spencer nodded. She is strong.

She is strong.

He repeated like a mantra to try to calm his nerves.

She is strong.

. . .

 Y/n could see everything so dark and tried to see where she was. She wasn't where Cat left her first when she recorded that video and probably sent it to her friends. She was worried, and not because of her life but for Spencer’s.

She knew he would appear at any moment with the team's approval or not. He was like that. He would give anything for her, even his life, just to save her, and at any other time, that would be comforting, but at that moment, that wasn't good. Her anxiety was all over her body, she could feel the blood in her mouth after the slap Cat gave her, and she could feel the injuries where Cat burned her, she could feel the tight hold in her hands and ankles, she was worried about the team, she was concerned about Spencer, she was concerned about Diana. And last, she was concerned about her life.

Was her life going to end?

Why wasn't that worried about her life? She was sick and concerned about everyone around her but her. Why wasn't she worried? Did she didn't care if her life ends at that moment?

She was confused, concerned, and full of anxiety. She was hurt. She wanted to get out there and never come back.

Cat interrupted her thoughts when she came in. With a black chair and put it in front of her. Cat looked at her and smiled. "Don't worry. I won't kill you even if I want to. I made a promise with Spencie, and besides, if I kill you right now, the show wouldn't be that fun, don't you think? " She walked and sat in front of Y/n. "You know, I always felt that you and Spencer needed couples therapy, you didn't trust in him, and he didn't communicate with you, and you didn't tell him the truth, but maybe when he comes, we can discuss that," and then she left leaving the young doctor confused.

. . .

 Spencer enters the building. Of course, he did. He wasn't going to leave her girlfriend in the hands of that woman even if she didn't want to see him after what he did. And he knows that if she didn't look at him while he was in there, he wouldn't be mad about it. He deserves it, after all.

He was worried. A man he didn't know was escorting him where he was supposed to be. And he was nervous, of course, he was. Her mom was with Penelope, he didn't tell her what happened because he loved Y/n so much that she would feel bad, and Spencer didn't want that.

The man stopped in front of a black door and then left him there, alone. Spencer felt confused, looking everywhere to see what was happening, but then the door got open, letting him see Cat, and he looked inside of the room trying to find Y/n, but Cat blocked his view. "Don't be rude, Spencer, here you follow my rules, and my first rule is to cover your eyes," Cat smiled while she showed him a black tie. Spencer took it, and he put it in his eyes.

Cat took his arm and guided him where she wanted him to be, in a chair in front of Y/n, who also was covered, she tied his ankles to the chair. The room was empty, only with the three people there and two chairs and a table in Spencer’s left. It was dark and cold. The two doctors were anxious. She knew he was there, she could sense his perfume, and Spencer knew she was there because he could feel her in the same way he always perceives her when she came into a room.

Spencer wanted to see her and Y/n deep down. Her soul wanted to see him as well.

Cat took the tie off Spencer's eyes first, and at that moment, his eyes, for instinct, looked for hers. Those beautiful eyes he was craving for, those who were his strength and debility.

He finds them blind on a black tie like his. But there was her, with her hands free in her lap, but her ankles tied in the chair. Her lip was bleeding, and he could see some minor injuries in her temple, the burning in her arm. There she was.

Cat walked to her and took the tie out of her eyes, they were closed, and then she opened them looking for something that Spencer didn't know what it was, she wasn't looking at him yet, but he was craving for it.

Her eyes were red from the crying and how tired she was. Spencer promised that when they get back home, she will sleep for three days straight to recover. She was so beautiful. She was everything Spencer ever wanted and more, and she was his love. The small light of the room, making her look like an angel. His angel.

Y/n finally looked at him, she was scared of what might happen with him, but she was glad to see him even if she was scared of it, even if she didn't know if she really wanted to, but there he was. Looking straight at her, looking at her like she was the most precious thing in the world to him, at that moment, or maybe she has always been, and she never knew.

But his brown hazel eyes were so comforting. That was what she needed to feel strong, to feel free? His lips were highly red, so his eyes, he has been crying, and she could tell. She wonders if she might have something to do it.

She feels baffled, but she sees him, and that was what she needed, even if she says otherwise.

"All right, I guess it is time to begin," Cat starts talking. The surprise was that at that moment, they forgot they weren't alone. "First, don't you think this feels familiar. Don't you get some kind of dejá vú Spencie? This doesn't bring you memories for a certain brown hair girl?" Cat starts passing around the small room.

"I don't know what does that have something to do with all of this," Spencer says, not taking his gaze out of Y/n, but she does. She looks at the floor and his heartaches. She isn't looking at him.

"Oh, Spence, it has all to do with. Did you know that your little girlfriend here felt threatened by her?"

Spencer looks at her, trying to understand or see some kind of emotion in her, trying to find the truth, but she doesn't let him.

"Is that true?" Spencer asks with fear of what the answer might be.

Y/n doesn't respond.

"He's talking to you, sweetheart," Cat says.

"Is not that I felt threatened by her," She says, and Spencer's breathing contains because he is hearing her voice, her sweet voice, "is because I never thought- I felt like I wasn't what she was for him, for you," she looks at him this time, "she was practically your first love, and I came later. Sometimes you have this person in your life, and it is the first time you feel this way. You don't want it to end. And sometimes you feel like you're not good enough even when they say you are, mostly if they loved someone with their entire heart like you did with-with Maeve."

Spencer's face softens by her words. She felt like this, and he never knew.

"But-"Spencer says but is interrupted by Cat.

"Oh no, you are not going to say anything, and all the bullshit we all have heard. I want you to tell her the reason why you kissed me, "she smiles.

"It was because she told me that if I didn't kiss her, she would make your life miserable, and I couldn't stand that. I am so sorry."

"Yeah, but look, I did otherwise. I just have to say that I really loved that kiss. Don't you want to give me another one?" she got closer to him.

"Cat, I don't think-"He says.

"What I told you about rules?" She says and walks to a table and brings a knife with her. "You will listen and do what I say, or bad things will happen," Cat walks to Y/n and puts the knife in her arm.

"Wait! Please don't hurt her. I will do what you want."

She looks at him and smiles, "Good boy."

Cat gets closer to Spencer and sits in his lap. She looks at Y/n first and winks at her, then takes Spencer’s face in her hands and kisses him, but this time Spencer doesn't close his eyes, doesn't even touch her. He is looking at Y/n, trying to apologize with his eyes. She looks the other way while a tear escapes from her eyes.

"Mhm, I bet you enjoy those kisses Y/n. But you need to learn how to share with the class." She gets up and claps her hands together, "Now this night is getting boring. Ugh, I guess it is time to decide whom I will kill," She takes a gun out of her back and points it to Spencer and then to Y/n.

"You said you wouldn't hurt her, "He says.

"I said I wouldn't kill her if you come in, and I didn't. But now you are here. I can do whatever the hell I want, and I want you alive, so the only option is her," She points to her.

"Kill me instead. She doesn't have the fault I didn't end it up with you. It's me who you should be angry with, not her! The only bad thing she ever did was love me."

"I know, Spencer, But I see it in this way. Do you remember all those pretty and lovely letters I wrote you, Y/n? When I said, he didn't love you because he loved Maeve first, and well we all saw how that ended it, but then he found me, and because he couldn't have me, he chose you. You never loved her truly, Spencer, if you think about it. She is just a replacement. And besides, I am mad at you, of course. But I will prefer to see you suffering every day of your life for not choosing me. That is the worst punishment."

“But you should kill me instead, she doesn’t have anything to do with this,”

“I can’t believe you actually prefer to die. But you are right, you have all the fault, because of what you did to me and all the things I did for you and you never accept me. I guess the only way we can fix that is taking something you care about,” she points to Y/n.

Then suddenly they heard a loud noise they couldn't figure out what it was, but Cat was concerned. "What was that? I swear to god it is one of your agents. I will kill you both, "Cat shouts.

"No, it is me. Come look at this Cat, it is urgent," The man said. The man who was with her in all of that, the one who help to bring Y/n. Her brother.

"I will come back soon. You can't escape here, and I will be on the other side of the door. Besides that, we have cameras, so you two will wait until I come back."

Cat leaves, and silence remains in the room.

"Angel, look at me," Spencer says, but she doesn't look at him, "Y/n please," He begs and then she looks at him. "It doesn't matter what she says, or what she is trying to make you believe or what she said to you before, but I do love you so so much. With my entire heart and soul, you are everything and much more to me. I love you so much. And I am so sorry for what you have been through because of me, and I am sorry I didn't realize the way you felt about Maeve. I did love her I am not gonna lie, but what I felt for her wasn't real love, and what I feel for you is much deeper, and you are everything I ever wanted and If someone ever tells me that I can change what happened to her I wouldn't because of what happened I get to know you and love you, and I don't regret anything. You are my universe, and please believe when I say you are everything to me. " Spencer was desperate to let her know what he truly felt.

And then the door got wide open, and it wasn't Cat on the other side or her brother. It was Hotch. Y/n started crying softly when she saw him. There he was. He approached her while Morgan and Prentiss entered the room to help Spencer.

Hotch hugged her, and she cried on his shoulder. "You are okay. Everything is okay now. You will be home soon," he says while he unties her ankles without breaking the hug.

"Thank you, Hotch."

"You don't have to thank me, that's what family is for," Hotch says while he let her free. With tears in his eyes, Prentiss was full of worries that faded away when she saw her and hugged her.

"Oh my god, Y/n, please never do this to us ever again. I was so worried."

"I’m sorry," she chuckles, and Prentiss does the same.

Then Morgan hugged her, crying as well. "We are so glad you are okay. You don't have any idea how worried we were and Penelope, oh my god," He says.

Y/n chuckle and smile. "What happened to Cat and the other man?" She asks.

"We entered the back door, there weren't any cameras, and then we got him before he said anything, we made him call Cat, and we got her as well. They are with the police right now, and you won't see them ever again." She nods.

Spencer looks at her, and Y/n looks at him, but he knew she needed to be checked out for her injuries, so he doesn't say anything yet.

They walked her outside, and JJ and Rossi hugged her, leaving her without air, but happy to see her family again.

. . .

After they checked her and see her injuries, they drive back to Quantico. Spencer was dying inside. He didn't know the next chapter in their life, he didn't want to lose her, but he did understand if she didn't want to be with him.

Everyone greet her, happy to see her again. She couldn’t see Diana because she will be worried about her injuries, Y/n cried with Penelope, but she was happy. Those were happy tears. She was finally in home.

And then she walked outside being called by the sky, looking at the stars. The same ones he was looking at hours before. It was three Am, and he was tired. He walked where she was, looking at the stars and then at her.

"I think we need to talk," he says, playing with his fingers.

"Yeah, I think we do." He looks at her.

"Y/n I want to start saying that I am really sorry. For everything, and I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore, I don't know if we are together right now, you know? You kinda broke up with me," he chuckles, and she does as well. Good sign, Spencer thinks.

"I think we can try, you know? I understand why you did what you did, but it doesn't ease the fact you didn't tell me," Y/n signs. Of course she wanted him back, after all. But she was concerned about their communication skills, not only Spencer’s but hers.

"I know, but I will make it up to you, and I can work that out. Please.” Spencer takes her cold hands into his, giving small kisses to them.

"We need to try the communication, but it can work," Spencer smiles and hugs her.

She hid her face in his neck, and he does the same. He felt like home, he felt like everything was okay, and it was now. She stepped back, but then she hugs him, this time putting her head in his chest.

She looks at the stars, but he's looking at her. She looks at him, smiling. "Why are you not looking at the stars? It is a beautiful night."

He smiles at her, "Because you are the only star I want to look at."

She smiled at him and hid her blushed face from him. He smiles and hugs her tight.

Even though they had an awful night, she still looks at the stars at the end of the day.

At that moment, without them knowing, they made a promise to all the stars in the night sky. At that moment, when they were the only ones in the world.

They enjoy each other warmth, the one they have been craving for, the one that keeps them in their track, with the promise they will try one more time, and maybe a happy ending with love and pride.

Finally everything will be okay, because they were together like the stars in the night sky who were looking at them with pride and love, to always and forever to the end of the world.

[violetsoju]

page 30彡★

kageyama tobio · fluff · 3.2k

a/n: came up w this idea based on a tiktok vid of this trend that randomly popped up on my feed (which i can't find anymore T_T) do let me know if you enjoyed it! ❤️

“Hey, Tobio.”

The mop of raven hair doesn’t look up to you, eyes fixated on the jiggly onsen tamago on top of the curry tonkatsu.

“There’s this new trend going on.”

He hums in response, fingers gripping onto a pair of wooden chopsticks, manoeuvring the fragile soft lump towards the spoon. Just a few more steps till being cradled snugly in the deep end of the cool ceramic spoon.

“And we’re gonna learn the moves and film it right here after this.”

His fingers twitch. One of the long pointy chopsticks loses its cool and stabs the tamago right in the core, streaks of yellow bleeding across the crisp golden brown tonkatsu. Its counterpart desperately tries to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, but too much yolk has been lost, and more jabs were made in the frantic rescue mission. Not even the string of ‘shit’ muttered could save the day. So long, dear onsen tamago.

You’re finally met with piercing blue eyes glaring at you.

“No. And look at what you did to my onsen tamago.”

“You should’ve scooped it up with your spoon instead of pushing it with your chopsticks. Common sense much?” You thank the waitress for the hot steaming tempura udon. “Plus, you’re supposed to break the yolk and coat the luscious essence over your rice, unless you’re a freak and eat it in one go.”

Kageyama’s scowl softens when a piece of fried tempura lands in his bowl in exchange for a piece of tonkatsu. A glint of delight gleams in the two pair of eyes at the first bite of delicious food, taste buds tingling in satisfaction.

It’s a rainy Wednesday night. And rainy nights call for warm comfort food to make up for the gloomy wet weather brought by the pitter patter parade of fat rain droplets. So after a spontaneous text message, here you are, with an old close friend of yours, inside a small cosy shop hidden in an alleyway without any prior arrangements.

“And let me repeat myself. I’m not going to do any dumb dance trends with you again.” Kageyama restates his point firmly.

“Come on, you had so much fun the last time! Even Tsukki sent a good job sticker in the group chat.” You reason.

“You mean he enjoyed seeing me almost tripping over my feet.”

“That was the highlight, to be honest.”

He smacks your chopsticks away with his at your attempt to snag another piece of tonkatsu, not giving in into your pout.

“Anyway, I was just kidding. You’re in luck this time because it’s not a dance trend.”

Kageyama raises an eyebrow at you suspiciously, tilting his head to ask you to continue on.

“This time it’s a trend where you grab your nearest book, turn to page 30, and the first sentence will describe your love life. Interesting, isn’t it?”

“Just when I thought you’ve outgrown these ridiculous nonsenses.”

“Says the one who still insists on drinking a box of strawberry milk before matches.” You jab your chopsticks towards his direction accusingly.

“That’s different because it actually works. And it’s good.” He counterattacks by returning your gesture.

“I hate to say this but, point taken.”

He triumphantly snickers as you sigh in defeat.

“Aren’t you curious on how my love life is described?” You question, blowing off the steam from your spoon full of udon.

Kageyama chomps on another piece of pork cutlet, unamused at your question. “If you’re generous enough to share, I’d be honoured.”

“‘He smiles’”

“What?”

“That’s the first sentence on my page 30. ‘He smiles’.” You reply matter-of-factly, taking a sip of your hot green tea.

“What’s that even supposed to mean?” His brows knit in confusion, hands momentarily forgetting the spoonful of curry rice in hand.

“Use your imagination, Tobio. Awaken your romantic cells.” You gesture with your hands dramatically, earning a deadpan look from the boy seated across you.

“Does it mean whoever’s smiling is the love of your life? Or someone who’s always smiling?” Kageyama rests his cheek against his left knuckle, trying to connect the dots together.

“Well-“

“Wait a minute! Don’t tell me it’s Suga-san. Because if it is, I won’t allow it because Suga-san is way too good for you.”

He yelps as you not-so-accidentally dip your chopsticks stained with broth into his green tea.

“Shush, we both know how much Suga-san adores me. And everyone else.” You smugly take another bite of your fried tempura as he frowns in disgust after drinking the now broth infused green tea.

“I guess it’s feeling of love at the sight of his smile? Like feeling all warm and fuzzy seeing him smile.”

“Is there someone who makes you feel that way with their smile?”

You swirl the udon with your chopsticks mindlessly for a moment. “Maybe there is.”

You look up to the pair of blue eyes staring back at you, holding the intense gaze firmly, neither side backing down to break the tension.

“Do I know him?” Kageyama falters, a hint of anxiousness cracks in his voice.

“Since when were you so interested in my love life?” You laugh awkwardly, hoping to conceal your nervousness.

Despite the surrounding bustling chatter, the world suddenly falls painstakingly silent, with the irregular beats of two young hearts thumping deafeningly and out of rhythm.

The raven-haired boy succumbs first, looking back down to his half empty bowl. You continue swirling your bowl of udon, mentally slapping yourself at your answer and cracking your head to come up with something to save the mood.

“Well, I could help to scan him for you, if you want. Boys know boys better after all,”

You snap back up to look at the boy seated across you, eyes not meeting yours. This is a surprise.

“Plus, you can save the tears and snot to yourself because I might not be free to attend to your midnight crying sessions. If it really happens.”

A surge of warmth radiates throughout your body at his words. Definitely not from the hot bowl of udon.

Kageyama still has his eyes on the bowl before him, looking anywhere else but you. He tries to keep himself busy by scooping more rice, groaning as he further destroys the onsen tamago, unaware of the faint blush painting his cheeks. Definitely not from the hot bowl of curry, too.

“Don’t worry, he isn’t a jerk. I’m sure you’ll like him too.” You chuckle, adjusting your chopsticks to pick up more udon.

Oh, Kageyama Tobio, what exactly should I do with you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

Scroll. Refresh. Switch apps. Repeat. Sigh.

You’ve been stuck in this constant loop for the past hour. Instead of getting much needed sleep for the next day, you subject yourself to the chains of the device held in your hand, despite the drooping eyelids and strained arm muscles.

What’s so fascinating about social media anyway? If it’s not friends or random acquaintances posting sinful food pics of ootds, it’d be someone ranting about either their work or love life, or memes you’ve already seen before. Sometimes you wonder if you’ve been casted a spell by social media.

Crying out a yelp as the gadget lands right in your face at the slip of your hands, you massage your nose bridge and forehead from the impact, grimacing in pain. It’s not easy being a slave to social media, huh.

Tossing your phone to the side, you roll over to lie flat on your back, sprawled like a star fish on your bed. A long sigh escapes your lips, eyes staring blankly at the bare celling above. Maybe you should really call it a day.

A beep from your phone tells you otherwise.

Tobio [23:17]

I did it. You owe me one box of strawberry milk.

[23:18]

IMG_20210402_961222

You immediately plop yourself up to sit cross-legged on your bed, tapping on the notification to open the message. As expected of Kageyama Tobio, it was a full-page picture of a book, with a small number 30 on the top left-hand corner. But unexpectedly of Kageyama Tobio too, the page wasn’t from those volleyball books or magazines stacked in the corner of his room. Looks like the mini ramble session you gave him on the way to the metro station worked.

“I know volleyball is the love of your life too, but we’re talking about your actual love life here! So no volleyball books or magazines, go rummage Miwa-san’s book shelf for one random romance novel. Just one. She’ll thank me for taking care of your love life.”

Sliding both your thumbs outwards on the screen to zoom in, your lips press together to form an ‘o’, brows arching in fascination at the first sentence.

She knows.

Interesting.

Your fingers dance across the screen swiftly.

me [23:20]

Ohhh interesting. See, it’s exciting, isn’t it?

Tobio [23:21]

I guess so

me [23:22]

Do you think it describes your love life well?

To actually imagine Kageyama Tobio having something that he loves as much as volleyball is, an odd and foreign feeling.

Tobio [23:24]

I’m not sure tbh

me [23:25]

Well spill the tea so I can help you analyse it

Tobio [23:25]

No

You swear you would throw punches at him if he was beside you now.

me [23:26]

Tsk tsk, so who’s the girl you’ve been hiding from me

Tobio [23:27]

Since when were you interested in my love life?

The use of your own words against you has you clicking your tongue in amusement.

You were contemplating between a civil or sarcastic remark when a new message bubble pops up.

Tobio [23:29]

But do you think she knows?

me [23:30]

About what?

Tobio [23:31]

Nvm, forget what I said

Seriously? This conversation is by no means, ending like this. You tap on the video icon on the right-hand corner of the screen hastily.

It takes a few rings for the familiar face to appear on screen, face a little too close to the camera, brows furrowed, lips pursed.

“What the heck, do you know what time it is?” Kageyama huffs in annoyance, running his fingers through his dishevelled black hair.

“Says the one who sent me such juicy information at this hour.” You bend your legs up, resting your hand on your knees for a better angle.

He throws his head back exasperatedly, muttering something inaudible along the static noise from the speakers, resting his head on a wooden frame you recognise. He still hasn’t changed his bed that he has long outgrown, complaining about soreness in his legs and arms that dangle off the edge every night.

“How do you expect me to go to bed with you hanging me like this? You have the worst timing ever.” You raise your hands in protest.

Kageyama buries half of his face in his palm. “I shouldn’t have listened to you.”

“But you get a box of strawberry milk from this! It’s worth it.” You gesture a finger gun to him knowingly.

He moves two fingers away from his face, peeking to see you through the screen like a child. Heaving a long, heavy sigh, he shifts his weight to sit up properly, half of his face still cradled in his palm.

“So, ‘she knows’, huh. Back to your question. What do you think she knows?” A tinge of excitement and fear bubble up your throat.

Kageyama avoids your gaze, looking to the side. “Well, I mean, about my, er- my feelings, I guess?”

“You mean your heart.”

The sentence has his eyes back on you, vivid blue eyes clouded by the shadows of dimly lit room.

“Yeah, uhm, well, I guess.” His voice trails off.

“Well, have you told her before?” You keep your voice steady.

“No, of course.” His words come out like a whisper.

“Then how is she going to know without any words or actions?” It comes out like a blunt statement, but somewhere deep down, a wave of relief washes over you.

“But I’m always there for her. Whenever she needs me, wherever she is, I try my best to be there for her,” Passionate flames ignite across the vast blue ocean. “I know something is on her mind when she bites the insides of her cheeks, when she flicks the tip of her thumb with her index finger constantly, or when she plays with the piercings on her ears. I’m not one with words, but I stay by her side when she needs me to, listening to her rambles or vents, or wiping away tears that stain her cheeks soft like mochi.

“I set notifications the night before to give her morning calls during her exams or important days because she tends to snooze the alarm on days like these. I always have extra band-aids ready on hand because she always somehow cuts and hurts herself, which hurts my heart too. Heck, I even learn ridiculous things that would be the death of me just for her, because nothing compares to the sparkle in her eyes when she flashes her precious smile, brighter than the sun that takes my breath away every time. I-”

Kageyama stops midway, face painted with horror as if he just let out a million-dollar secret. Panic flares in his eyes, mouth agape in incredulity as his body rigids, dumbstruck with terror by what rolled off his tongue so smoothly. You wonder if the line got disconnected because he turned into a static image, with a full-blown flustered look on his face.

You wave at the screen. “Tobio, you still there?”

It takes a few seconds for the raven-haired boy to snap back to his senses and regain his composure, coughing awkwardly in attempt to calm himself down. Small patches of blush blooming furiously on his cheeks peek out from his hands covering his mouth.

He looks cute.

No, he’s cute.

He’s always been cute.

“I- Er- Ye- Yeah, I’m still here.” Kageyama struggles to find words from his tad-larger-than-average vocabulary vault that has seem to disappear into thin air.

“Gosh, breathe Tobio, breathe. Come on, take a deep breath with me. One, two, three.”

He exhales deeply at the count of three with eyes shut close, hoping that all his jitters have been expelled away in the air.

“There you go. Feel better now?” Your lips tug up gently as the boy on the screen visibly relaxes, shoulders loosening from the tension, face free of creased lines.

He opens his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to adjust his vision before returning a soft smile to you. “Yeah, I do. Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

A tranquil silence blankets over the both of you. This time, the steady beats of two young hearts thump in tune like a metronome. Two young souls gaze at each other, basking in the calmness and comfort of the sincere warm smiles that felt so much like home; but too proud to admit they were like lovesick fools, brushing off the feelings that were screaming loudly to be heard, feelings that they were afraid to face.

“Do you think she knows?” It’s a genuine question, one that takes a mountain high of courage to come up with.

“I’m sure she does.” It’s a genuine answer, one that takes a of couple hundred meters of might to emerge from the deep ends of the sea to come up with.

And you both hope that you’re on the same wavelength.

“So back to square one. Who’s the girl?”

“None of your business.”

“Another piece of crap from you and I’ll leave without you at the metro station tomorrow.”

“Sorry.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

When you reach the designated exit of the metro station the next day, a pair of eyes as blue as the day immediately catches your attention among the crowd, feet shuffling on its own accord towards them. As if there was a detector sensing your presence within him, the owner of the beautiful pair of orbs turns to you, raising a hand in greeting.

Kageyama gives you a smile, a smile that says, ‘I hope my smile makes you feel warm and fuzzy’.

You smile back at him, with a smile that says, ‘I hope you know that I know your heart’.

It’s hard to shake off the pride to be damned, but the two lovesick fools find themselves discarding it slowly, bit by bit with each step taken, together.

【☾】

Kageyama is a creature of routine. He always has his day planned out in detail and hates it when it doesn’t go according to plan, or when something pops out of the blue. But there are a few which he can make exceptions for. So when he receives your text asking for dinner after his training session, he agrees in a heartbeat.

He felt his heart sink deeply in his guts when you said there was, indeed, someone who made you feel warm and fuzzy with their smile. But who was he to have his say when his status was merely just a close friend?

Miwa thought he had lost it when he barged into her room without notice that night, scanning her bookshelf for novels, specifically of the romance genre. It was more nerve-wrecking than retaking exams back in high school with Hinata while flipping through the pages, and it didn’t help much when he finally found the particular page, with the first line inked in black staring back at him in doubt.

He doesn’t know why he sent the picture of the page to you. What exactly was he expecting?

Worse, he doesn’t even know why he started blabbing about how he was always there for you, how much he cares for you, and how much you mean to him. It all just came out so naturally that he could actually score an A+ for impromptu speaking.

But when your eyes were filled with concern while calming him down instead of making fun of him or pestering him for more, something flutters in his mind. Maybe it was from the rush of adrenaline from before, or maybe it was his heart that had leaped out from his chest taking over. He brings up the question once again, with more confidence this time.

He knows you’re not one to lie with your eyes. And he sees the kindness and honesty in them.

A ray of hope flickers in him.

So today, Kageyama musters up every ounce of courage he has, and tells himself it’s now or never: to close the gap he has longed for so long between two hands that swayed side by side. Instead of retreating his hands away when they brush against yours, he curls the tip of his fingers with yours delicately, as if your fingers would melt at his touch.

He hopes that he made the right decision.

And when your fingers curl back, intertwined with his, he knows he has made the right decision, and that his question has been answered.

She knows.

And the fact that he’s the one behind the smile that makes you go all warm and fuzzy, he swears it feels like he could run for miles and miles without running out of breath, soaring even higher than the clouds in the skies. None of the perfect sets he has set in his lifetime could compare to the satisfaction and bliss he was feeling right now.

Because you had set his life ablaze the moment fate brought the both of you together, and you’re his end game.

[jaesvelvet]

aparecium — takata mashiho

warnings: grammartical errors

words: 1.8k words

pairing: hufflepuff headboy mashiho! + fem reader

notes: this is my first hogwarts imagine of treasure.... i hope you guys enjoy this!!!

You quickly close your thick black book as Professor Flitwick walks towards your table, hiding the book under the table, and practices the charms he has been taught for that day.

"Give it a flick, Y/N" Professor Flitwick said

"Ascendio" you point to the feather in front of you, lifting it.

Professor Flitwick nods, murmuring a good job to you before passing through you.

You sigh in relief the professor is cool unlike Professor Snape, he surely will take the books and read what you've been writing on in front of the class.

"Mashi! Help me" you look up to the person who calls Mashi or Mashiho. You smile as the boy in the yellow tie helps the boy with their spell. You head over heels towards the head boy of the Hufflepuff, in your eyes, he is like Ron Weasley to your Hermione Granger.

Mashiho is boyfriend material, he is head boy, teacher's pet, he is the seeker in Quidditch, and one of the students who take NEWT. Everyone knows it is hard to study for NEWT, and yet this boy takes the NEWT like it's nothing to him, nobody has ever seen him struggle studying NEWT. He is indeed Hermione number 2.

"Okay, class dismissed, for those who take NEWT, there's only a month left since your examination, I hope you are all prepared and of course you welcome to my office if you need any help" Professor Flitwick announce class about NEWT making you sigh. Yes, you are one of the students who take NEWT, at first you want to take O.W.L instead of NEWT but your mom said it will be great if you try to take the exam, and here you are struggling to get a good grade for your final year in Hogwarts.

You left the class and walk towards the library, it is your free time, you are willing to study for the upcoming exam than joining your friend watching Quidditch training.

You enter the library, feeling calm by the silence, you making your way to the potion section to study more about potions that you need to do on your examination soon.

You frown as you see the book you've been searching for is on the top of the shelf, you tiptoe to reach the shelf, but who are we kidding here? The top shelf is too high for you like in a usual k-drama scene, someone grabs the book you make you turn around, eyes getting bigger when you realized the person that helps you.

"Mashi?"

"You know, it's your last year in Hogwarts, why don’t you just cast Wingardium Leviosa?" he asks, handing you the book while showing you his sly smile

"Uh, we can't depend on everything on magic you know?" you answer

"I see, you're an independent girl," he said making you blush, you also didn't know why you're blushing at his word? Perhaps he talking to you while being this close making you shy?

"Uh, thanks? I guess?"

Mashiho laughs at your awkwardness

"You take NEWT too right? Why don't we study together?" he offers.

Now your brain is malfunctioning. Mashiho offers you to study together?? Is this not a dream? You mentally slap yourself and look at him again

"Sure, what do you want to study?" you ask

"Potion. I need to pass if I don't want to see Professor Snape's face again" he said making you chuckle, a teacher's pet tattle behind them? Impressive.

"Yeah me too," you said and he leads you to his usual spot.

“So Y/N tell me why you take NEWT?” he asks. You raised your brow to him, did he just... Underestimate you?

“Uh, don’t misconstrue my words. I'm just curious since almost all students at Hogwarts refuse to take NEWT and you take– you know what? Just ignore my question” he said, his face turns slightly red making you smile, you can’t be mad at him for too long, he is so cute! You just wanna pinch his cheek.

“Well my mom made me, and I thought it’s not hurt to give it a try” you answers

“Well, your parents must be proud of you for study hard, I admit this exam is so hard I felt like crying when I study the same chapter again and again,” he said

You are surprised to see he is openly sharing his thought with you, well you’re not that close with him and even his friends doesn’t know he is struggling to get a good grade.

“I heard a rumor that you never struggle at study but I guess it’s all wrong then”

“Well, I don’t think showing my struggle changes anything? I don’t even know who’s spread all the news, why don’t they just minding their own business?” he whines

“Yeah, true” you replied, and focusing on your book, but in your head, you already screaming at the top of your lungs because Mashiho is so cute when focusing on something. You were surprised you didn’t explode at this point.

+.*

A week passes since you and Mashiho’s studying together in the library, it was a good day because after that he offers you to eat dinner together with him. You couldn’t stop thinking about that day if only there's a spell to freeze time.

Secretly bringing out your thick black book, you open to the blank space and writes something on the page using invisible ink. There’s one thing you like about magic, you can do whatever you want without others knowing.

“Oi” your friend whispers to you, scrunching her face seeing you doing something else instead of brewing a potion

“What?” you whisper back, your hands still jotting something on the book

“Snape will kill you if he saw you do something else, you fool!” she slaps your hand, you roll your eyes, you didn’t prefer to study now because since morning you have class nonstop. You can't take it anymore all you need now is rest or a hot bath.

“Ugh fine,” you said and put your book above some random book.

A sigh comes out from your mouth and continues to brew your veritaserum— the truth serum for your NEWT, you lazily stir the potion that looks like water, you wonder if someone drinks a drop of this potion how much truth will they spill out? Since Professor Snape said that 3 drops of this serum are enough to make a person reveals their deepest secret, this potion is scary no wonder the process is difficult.

You heard a laugh from across your table making you look up, your exhausted body feels recharged by his laugh. Mashiho’s laugh, you smile seeing him joking around with his friends which later being scolded by Professor Snape, he noticed you look at him and wink at you.

You feel like time stop for a moment, did he just wink at you? Gosh, he really driving you crazy.

You break the gaze and focusing on your potion, frustrated by his wink.

Minutes later, Snape dismissed the class and Mashiho walks towards you

Why? Why is he coming here? You thought

“Y/N, you free this evening?” he asks

You slowly nod your head, although you don’t want to go anywhere and rather spent your day in your dorm, you still nod to his question like hypnotized by his gaze.

“Cool, so do you want to study together again? You great at potions, really” Mashiho said

You blushing. Again. You thought he must think you a fool, blushing for no reason.

“Ah yes I would love to!” you said

“So, I meet you at 5, in the library?”

“5 it is” you answers and take your books while smiling at him.

+.*

Your chest becomes tight as it becomes hard to breathe, you wander around your dorm, as you realized you take the wrong book! This black book on your bed is not yours. It fills with some charms and potions notes. Your book is empty— well not empty, it’s just written in invisible ink. But still, you feel nervous if someone cast an aparecium spell on it, which is a spell to reveal secret messages that are written with invisible ink.

You take the book and run towards the potion class, hoping the book will be at the last place you put it.

“Professor Snape” you pants, holding on your chest catching on your breathing.

“What did you want L/N?” he asks in a monotonous tone

“Did you see my black book here?” you ask

“Is your responsibility to take care of your things L/N. There’s nothing here” he said sternly

You mentally roll your eyes at him, he could say no and you don’t waste your time here and search for your book.

“Alright, thank you, professor,” you said and your looks at your watch it was already 5 pm.

“Oh shoot, Mashi must be waiting for me,” you said and running again to the library.

You assume you will die anytime soon if you keep running like this, you enter the library and catching your breath before approaching Mashiho at his usual place.

“Hey” he frowns when he sees your forehead cover with sweat.

“Did you run?” he asks

“Uh yes, I’m afraid if I'm late,” you said and wipe your sweat using your sleeve

Mashiho let out a chuckle

“I don’t mind waiting, you shouldn't run you could fall,” he said

You smile at him, you could feel butterflies in your stomach. How is he even real?

“Oh, before we start– um I think we exchanged books at potion earlier” he hands you the black book that you have been searching this entire evening

“Oh my, you’re life savior— wait how did you know this is my book?” you raise one brow to him, you didn’t write your name in this book unless...

“I’m sorry I didn't mean to cast that spell but I need to know who's this book belongs to! And when I saw my name on the first page I couldn't help myself but read...” he said, you could see guilty in his eyes

“I- I'm sorry, you just think that I'm creepy right?” now you realized how creepy if someone writes an entire book about you without your consent.

“No, I appreciate you noticed my details when I play Quidditch. No one ever notices my strategy for Quidditch, you’re the first one” he cracks up.

“Oh..” that’s the only words you could say, well the atmosphere is awkward right now!?!?

“Did you like me that much, Y/N?” he tease you

“Based on the book, it will be a lie if I said no,” you said

“Well, don’t worry because I like you too. I didn’t know how to approach you at first but luckily you can’t reach the top shelf” he said

You finally can look at him in his eyes. Well, this is one of the benefits to not use magic all the time, right?

[stray-kids-react]

S/O likes enjoys writing/writing lyrics

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° You owned this special and locked diary for years, where you kept all your bottles up emotions and feelings in.

° One of those feelings evolving your long time crush on Chan, including the words 'Sexy, Cute, Inspirational, Hot, Prince, and A Literal Angel' all in quite a few pages. Luckily your now long time boyfriend has never seen these fangirl/boy paragraphs.

° Chan was all of those words, no doubt about it. But it is still hard to look at those paragraphs without cringing at how desperate you sounded in your mind.

° Chan however apparently loved your affectionate paragraphs, flipping through the pages as you walked through his studio door. Your heart sank as pure shock and terror rushed through your veins. No one wants their private thoughts to be read.

° The tips of Chan's ears were firetruck red, as a beaming grin flashed towards you. You noted that he read through the entire diary, knowing all the dreams and wishes you had that involved him. No skeletons were left in your closet anymore, it was bittersweet.

"So you really think I'm an angel who is also the sexiest person on earth?" he teased, cupping your face in his palms.

"Well duh, but you can't tell me you didn't think anything like that towards me-" You defended, cut off by his sweet kisses.

Lee Know

° Minho found out about your true feelings towards him while reading some song lyrics you wanted to show 3Racha.

° He needed to know who you loved and admired so dearly after reading this, constantly by your side questioning anything he could. After literal weeks of conspiracy, you couldn't take his suspicion anymore and admitted everything.

° You are now much more secretive with your songs that you've written, but that won't stop Minho from looking everywhere he possibly can. He is determined to find them.

° After so many large steps that were taken in your relationship, he wants to see how you truly felt throughout them. From the first date, first time, to the promise ring he fave you last week. Minho wants to say it's to tease, when it's truly because he loves you.

° He loved the way his stomach did kart wheels as his heart fluttered when he first read your words. He hasn't felt that amazing feeling in a while and needs to re live it, luckily for him he noticed a place he has never thought of checking.

"So kitten, you really want to marry me don't you?" he commented, a soft smirk across his glowing features.

"Why wouldn't I? You're you. And how'd you find those?!" you replied, tone changing as you saw how many he actually had.

Changbin

° Changbin was struggling to create a new song, he seemed to accidently make similar beats and lyrics to their past hits.

° You would sometime write up different songs when you were bored, but you never showed them to anyone thinking they weren't great. But Changbin looked in need of some type of inspiration, so you brought out your journal and placed it infront of him.

° His expression was unreadable, either about to thank you for the amazing inspiration or laugh at your cheesy words. You just wanted him to say something.

° Changbin began to smile shyly, showing you a page he just read over. That page happened to be the most recent and the one you completely forgot about. It was a draft about 10 different ways you could tell Changbin that you loved him.

° You really wanted it to be special when you would say it to him, but luck didn't seem to be on your side that day. You were at least glad that he was smiling, showing positive signs that he isn't feeling awkward or doesn't feel the same way about you.

"I love you too my adorable bean." He chuckled, pulling you into his lap as he held you close to his racing heart beat.

"I'm guessing he new comeback is going to be a love song now?" you teased, burrowing into his soft black hoodie.

Hyunjn

° Your relationship use to be a cat and mouse situation, one day you two were best friends and then the next you two were rivals.

° Your anger and frustration towards one another was simply a way to hide your true emotions. Both of you found each other attractive in and out, but were too stubborn to confess. That is until he walked into your room and pressed you up against the wall.

° Your rivalry left out the door once you started dating, the only ounce of it was left in the small playful bickering and teasing. Which happened every day of the week.

° You walked into the dressing rooms, noticing Han and Felix giggling as your presence became known. This wasn't a usual giggle of theirs, something was going on. You knew that for sure once you saw the way Hyunjin presented himself.

° A sly smirk across his lips as a couple crumpled peace of paper were in between his fingers. His steps were long and powerful, as he held his head up high while nearing you. This usually meant he found something to tease you with.

"I didn't know you liked me for five years, coming up with so many cute pet names if we ever dated." He teased, hiding his blush.

"First of all, you went through my desk without asking me. Second of all, I am whipped for you dumb dumb." You replied.

Han

° You weren't a very vocal person, having trouble expressing your thoughts and emotions through words everyday.

° That reason alone is also why people think you and Han are a perfect match. He helped you come out of your shell and be comfortable in your own skin. All of those actions sent your heart into a frenzy, finding there way into pages filled with emotion.

° Han knew about your habit of writing cute quotes on your palms and arms, or just randomly taking out your journal and starting a new page.

° He respected your privacy even if the temptation of knowing every little thought you have was very very strong, he held back and let you write in peace. However, when you dropped your journal without knowing. Han held it and the temptation took over.

° As you had a chat with Seungmin, he turned around from your eye sight and flipped through the pages. Many of them expressing how much you love him and how much he helped you without him even knowing. This effected Han immensely.

"Hannie are you crying?" you questioned, noticing the forming gloss over his sparkling chocolate orbs.

"Yeah, but it's happy tears. I just never knew how much you cared about me, and it makes me feel important." He explained.

Felix

° You cannot hide anything from this adorable koala, he knows you too well and can find anything you've hidden from him.

° You learned this the hard way when you asked him for help when forgetting where you left your journal, panicking since the last place you saw it was at Minho's. Felix knew you usually placed it near your bed and assumed it to be under the covers.

°His assumption was spot on, but you had no idea that he had found it yet. Felix took this advantage to skim through a few pages, smiling at the sight of his name in the book.

° His name was mentioned ever since the day you first met, January 7th 2017. He was written as this attractive aussie that had your knees weak, he laughed silently at the realization that you fancied him since the first day you met. He loved it.

° Felix walked out with the navy blue book tight in his grip, his ears a bright shade of red. You knew he must've read some sort of page about him, but you weren't nervous about it. It couldn't have been anything more cheesy than what you say on dates.

"I can't believe Han knew about your crush on me that entire time." Felix chuckled, shock filling his expression.

"And I can't believe you never knew how much I truly admired you." You teased back, kissing his freckle speckled cheeks.

Seungmin

° Seungmin met you at a library, you were working on a soft poem about not being able to find the right person.

° That whole meeting seemed like something right off of a romance movie or fanfiction novel. Writing about giving up on love as an amazing guy happens to cross paths with you. But both of you laugh at the whole cliché nature of your meeting.

° Seungmin loved how you wrote, taking him into the story each time. He felt so special whenever he found something referring to your relationship, feeling fuzzy inside.

° He liked to bring some of your poems on tour with him, reminding him to stay strong when being away from you. Letting him know that you'll always be there for him when he needs you, even if you are both countries away from each other.

° Felix once found his stash of poems that you wrote, he never teased him on it but would still smile excitedly at how sentimental Seungmin was becoming. Seungmin knew he was becoming cheesy and mushy, he hated yet loved it.

"Do you know how much you have effected me?" he questioned, tracing the curve of your jaw with his thumb.

"Or maybe you have an addiction to me, ever think of that?" you responded, smiling widely as he rolled his eyes at your words.

Jeongin

° You worked under JYP entertainment to help create songs for different groups, Jeongin noticed you during his break.

° You rarely got to work with Stray Kids since they made 99% of their own songs, but that didn't stop Jeongin from trying to get to know you. It worked in his favor, since you began to develop a living in him after two months of hang out together.

° Jeongin likes hearing certain songs you create or in the process of being created, cheering you on and telling all of his members when you created a song.

° He liked to give you the credit and appreciation you rarely get, most of the credit going towards the artist who performed the songs you created. Jeongin wanted to let you know how proud he was of you daily, even if you got shy from it.

° Whenever you showed him different samples of songs you were working on, he'd dance in his seat with a beaming smile. Even when you were tired and wanted the day to end, his admiration and addicting smile would make your mood change instantly.

"I am just worried because JYP has been pretty harsh on the past few songs." You sighed, tired and frustrated.

"He literally wrote a song about women's butts. I'm pretty sure you're more talented baby." He reassured, patting your head.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 27)

The closer we get to the end, the more nervous I am, and maybe you are too, because things are going to go horribly awry and only suffering is to come. Fate is adamant that a specific twelve year old must die, and we really have no choice but to watch it all unfold.

In this part, we will discuss the chapters building up to the New Year's Concert, where Reo will attempt to assassinate the ESP.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Six

Ruka finds Natsume in the snow. He asks where he’s been, and Natsume responds that he went to see Mikan. Natsume imagines that Ruka will be jealous, because he feels guilty. He’d been putting his own wants first this whole night, and he hadn’t even considered Ruka.

Expectation vs. Reality. Ruka, best boy.

But Ruka is not jealous, or he’s very good at hiding it. He beams at Natsume, offering only congratulations and support. He’s happy for them, that both of their wishes came true. In fact, Ruka was also wishing for it, that Mikan and Natsume could find each other.

Natsume apologizes, because Ruka’s cheerful support only makes him feel more guilty, but he doesn’t tell him for what. He will not recount the details of the night, particularly of the many kisses shared between him and Mikan.

There’s a happy moment between Natsume and Ruka until, of course, Natsume starts coughing violently. He coughs up blood again, and when Ruka asks him if he’s okay, he’s ready to downplay it, already hiding his hand so that his best friend won’t worry. But Ruka grabs his hand and looks at the blood on the glove, and there’s a somber moment between them. Natsume tries to talk, but Ruka knows he’s just going to try and downplay it again, so he interrupts.

The best friendship in all of fiction. I stand by this forever. You can't change my mind.

Ruka has watched Natsume suffer the whole time they’ve been at the academy, even before then. He might not have had all the details, but he’s known that Natsume’s life was agony. He was helpless, and even became a burden (in his own view, not Natsume’s). He pleads with Natsume not to hide from him anymore. They’re meant to be best friends, and all Ruka has ever wanted was to be Natsume’s support system, but Natsume shut him out in the guise of protecting him. He keeps all his pain locked away and deals with it on his own.

Watching someone you love suffer and not being able to do anything about it is a tremendous pain, Ruka says. Natsume must sympathize. He will say something similar later on about Mikan’s situation.

Ruka loves Natsume. Natsume might have thought that he dragged his only friend into a bottomless pit of despair but Ruka asserts he’s never once regretted following him to the academy, not even for a second.

Ruka is confessing now. Natsume must know now that his existence is important to at least two people who love him unconditionally, but he doesn’t internalize it. Maybe he can’t. He’s too stuck in the role of martyr that straying from it would go against the very fabric of his own identity. He exists and has always existed to protect others. Protecting himself or even considering himself doesn’t align with that identity. No matter how much Mikan and Ruka plead with him to keep himself safe, he can’t abide. They’re more important than he is. He fails to see how much heartbreak and sorrow he will leave in his wake of self-destruction.

Natsume can’t internalize it. He can’t take it in and change course. It’s too late for that, in his mind. But he can tell Ruka the truth, because supporting Natsume is all Ruka wants.

He confesses too. He’s afraid. He doesn’t like thinking about the future, not even a year from now, because he’s scared he’ll be dead by then.

He says his secret fear out loud, that he won’t be able to protect her, and it’s still so heart-breaking that he still only sees his own value in how much he can protect people. He will shorten his own life to get her out of the darkness she’s ended up in. He doesn’t see worth in his existence just for the sake of living, of breathing, of smiling and laughing and crying and existing. Instead, his value is conditional. He is only so good as he is able to protect others and when he can’t anymore, then he is no longer valuable. It’s a glaring sign of a ridiculously low self-esteem.

He wants to choose life! He wants to live! Oh, this makes it worse...

But something has changed. He doesn’t want to die. He wants to live and be with her forever. He can’t be with her if he’s dead. It’s a selfish thought, and as I’ve been saying, that’s a wonderful thing. If only that selfish impulse were stronger, than maybe things wouldn’t be so doomed in the coming week. But Natsume’s ingrained martyr complex is stronger than anything, and his new flicker of selfishness doesn’t stand a chance.

Ruka promises he’ll do anything to support Natsume and Mikan’s future together. And so Natsume asks Ruka to protect Mikan if he’s no longer able to.

I personally don’t think he’s handing Mikan over here. This whole conversation’s context is specifically about protecting Mikan, and how Natsume wants only to keep her safe, even at the expense of his own life (though he’s actually more cavalier with that than he lets on, so it’s not much of an “even”, is it?). If Natsume is dead, he wants somebody he trusts to watch over her and prioritize her as he has. Who better than Ruka, who loves Mikan too and will want to keep her safe as well?

Or. You could just. Not die. Just a thought.

Natsume has never treated Mikan as an object to be won. He’s in fact made several comments about not “competing” at all. If he was able to give Mikan to Ruka, those two would be together now already and Natsume wouldn’t be the one holding Mikan’s alice stone. He is not any more capable of giving her away then he’s been before, and he’s less motivated to now than he’s ever been. Mikan is his, after all. Why would he “give her away” so soon after promising to be together forever?

He’s only concerned with Mikan’s safety and freedom here. If he dies in the pursuit of that, which he will, then someone else needs to make sure she’s safe and free. What she does with that safety and freedom is not in his or Ruka’s or anyone’s hands. I imagine Natsume, who got jealous of Mikan thinking of all her important people when making her alice stone would also get jealous at the thought of Mikan falling in love with somebody after his death. It might occur in the distant future, but it probably wouldn’t be any fun to imagine.

You may disagree with me, but I just can’t see it that way. I just don’t see it.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Seven

It’s New Year’s. Mikan’s birthday. There’s a celebration happening in the dorms, just like last year, but Natsume isn’t dressed in traditional garb to welcome the new year and feast like all the other students.

Instead, he’s waiting for Narumi in a hallway.

He wants all the information he can get, so he can get Mikan out of her cage sooner. Narumi isn’t talking, always willing to act dumb to get out of things. But Natsume knows better. He saw Narumi in the flashbacks, and knows how much Narumi loved Yuka. He would���ve done anything for her, even if it resulted in his own death. Narumi should understand how Natsume feels, then. He knows Mikan is suffering and in danger, but he can’t do anything about it. He says something to the effect that he shouldn’t even be living at this point, again reiterating that his life only has value if he’s able to protect people, particularly Mikan. If he’s unable to do that, then he might as well die. There’s really no difference, he says.

Jeez, kid, relax.

Narumi tries to point out that Natsume is dying, as if perhaps the kid is unaware of this, but Natsume grabs him and declares that he will not end up like him. Natsume seems to understand Narumi (probably more than I can! Haha) and that his life has been empty and soulless for a long time. Narumi is full of regret and has been for years, but Natsume won’t be like that. He won’t live with regret. He’ll do anything he can to save Mikan, and he’ll die without a single regret. He also claims he won’t give up on the idea of sharing a future with Mikan, and that makes the inevitable doom of their romance all the more tragic. Natsume isn’t planning on dying. He’s not imagining that he doesn’t even have a full two days left to live. He’s thinking he’ll push himself to the end of his rope, save Mikan, and then live happily ever after. It’s naive and childish and ridiculous that he really believes he can have his cake and eat it too, but he does with his whole heart.

"I want to live," is enough for me. I stopped reading after that. LET THIS KID LIVE.

Natsume tells Narumi to stop underestimating him for his age. But Narumi agrees: he doesn’t want Natsume or any of the other kids to end up like him and his generation did. He wants things to be better, for the new generation to have a happy and hopeful future to look forward to instead of surrendering to a life of misery and regret.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Nine

Natsume and Ruka are something like partners-in-crime now. They both know that taking out the ESP is the only way to free Mikan. They are spying on Reo, who has come under the guise of performing for the New Year’s concert, who spills that Z wants to assassinate the ESP.

Tsubasa and Tono quickly join the conversation, although they’re somewhat unwanted.

Reo keeps talking, and now all four of them are privy to his plan. Tono scolds Natsume for trying to get involved when it’s obvious Z is already on the case. Let them do it, he says. Keep yourself safe instead of putting everything on your own shoulders. Naturally, this is Natsume we’re talking about, so no amount of logic will get into his head, but it was worth a try, Tono.

Natsume's little face here is my favorite. His little angry expressions are always the highlight of any page.

Hearing this warning, Natsume can see the sense in it. He doesn’t want to leave his fiancee alone and heart-broken by his loss (more proof that he doesn’t really believe he’ll die) tomorrow, but to his horror, Koko was reading his thoughts aloud.

Natsume is embarrassed to be put on the spot, and he didn’t want to hurt Ruka’s feelings, so he takes out his anger on Koko. Then he punishes Tsubasa for teasing him about how fast he’s going with Mikan when Tsubasa is actually just slow with Misaki. Then it’s revealed that Tsubasa did finally confess to Misaki and got the answer he wanted, which only pisses Natsume off more, inexplicably. He’d be angry either way, just because it’s Tsubasa. He probably just wants to take the focus off himself and the fact that he’s already proposed to Mikan.

Tsubasa was in fact inspired by Natsume’s commitment to protecting Mikan. He confessed because his kouhai was so determined. But he also expresses concern for Natsume’s recklessness. Protecting people is a worthwhile pursuit, but so is valuing your own life. Other people depend on him and love him, and losing would hurt. He doesn’t have to do everything on his own. Working as a team can ensure his safety and keep him living longer. They’re all on the same page, after all, so why not join forces and get it done more efficiently without Natsume being the martyr again?

Yeah, Natsume, go to therapy. Like, yesterday.

But as the group splits up, Ruka holds Natsume still. He wants to talk about what happened on Christmas, but Natsume doesn’t. He’d rather keep that to himself, not at all willing to hurt Ruka’s feelings after he’s been nothing but supportive.

But he can’t lie, and Ruka has expressed interest in hearing all the truthbombs Natsume can dish out, so he comes clean. They exchanged alice stones. It looks like it pains Natsume to admit it. He’s consumed by guilt for the role he’s played in hurting Ruka. But Ruka is still just happy for him. He again offers congratulations, and all is well until Koko announces that Natsume and Mikan kissed a lot too. Apparently, Natsume has been thinking about the kisses so often and shamelessly to the point that Koko is concerned.

Ruka gets upset, but not out of jealousy. He hits Natsume rather pathetically, adamantly demanding that he be honest and tell him everything instead of keeping secrets all the time. Ruka doesn’t care that Natsume has been “selfish” and has kissed Mikan and gotten engaged with her and met with her. He is a fan! He’s Team NatsuMikan now too! He just wants Natsume to stop lying to him, not even to spare his feelings. If Natsume can’t be honest, then Ruka can’t do his job of supporting him. Friendship is a two-way street and can’t work if the friends can’t rely on each other for help and support. Going through good and tough times together is the key to any lasting relationship, and for that to work Natsume needs to talk to him instead of holding back.

Ruka is so cute here. Absolutely adorable. I shall adopt.

Natsume apologizes and the chapter ends on a light note, with the four of them teasing each other and laughing.

But tomorrow will be a different story. Many horrible things will happen tomorrow night, and the bright future Natsume has finally allowed himself to consider will burn up and die.

Conclusion

In the Rapunzel story, the prince was blinded and forced to walk around the forest unable to look for his lost love. I imagine that's why the chapter title image for Chapter 147 has his face covered in bandages. The story of Rapunzel is a tragic one, but it ends in a happily-ever-after. The consolation we have is that the story of NatsuMikan is more like the story of Rapunzel than of Romeo and Juliet, though it certainly doesn't feel like it for the next thirty-something chapters.

I didn't reread this at all before posting because I'm really tired. Thus, I claim no ownership over any mistakes. They can't be helped.

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[theleslistuff]

Confrontation

A hollow expression, that's everything that I have now.

He took everything away from me. To be honest, it's quite funny how ironic this is, he was the main reason why I was fighting to save everyone…, to stay alive…

Despite everything I did, nothing matters now, this wasn't my goal, I didn't even want to stay alive anymore! […].

I just wanted him to be happy…, but that stupid feeling…, even in the end I acted as the thing I'm, a coward!, that's everything I've always been.

Somehow I…, I believed that he was going to remember me, he was going to save me, but nobody came…, our bonding wasn't strong enough…, why I waited for him?!, so I got the thing that keeps the filthy human race alive without a progress, the feeling that made me fight…

Fear…

Fear of losing everything and everyone I loved, being forgotten…, she knew it, she knew I was in my weakest moment, I took her offer, I became a monster.

I came back in a world where I was just an error, a failure, I saw my brother getting his shiny future that he always wanted, but..I wasn't happy, I wandered around for some time until he found me, It was obvious that he wasn't going to recognize me, but although that I knew that, I was angry…, I killed him and everything else that dared to move, consumed their lives felt good. A hidden part of me, my human self said that it was wrong, that part made me cry for some of those pity humans, but, I'm not human anymore, all that I need and everything that matters now.

It's revenge.

I repeated the process in other worlds, dimensions, but I couldn't find him, the one who made me this, my brother.

I couldn't find him, until now…

I just had to go back in time in my own dimension, I didn't have to kill an alternate version of myself in order to have a body in here, I entered my old house, my room, there was a notebook in my bed…, my journal…

I started to read some random pages, until I found the beginning of the end of my life "the halfa era", the last thing I wrote was about me getting prepared to face my "corrupted brother"…how ironic…

I started to creep slowly with my broken and awful tail that replaced my legs until I was outside, there he was, and with his hand, he was strangling Vlad, suddenly he stopped moving, my "corrupted brother" threw him away like a trash bag, he turned back slowly

-Well, well, you were getting tired from playing hide and seek, don't you Andy?, how about if we finish this o…-

He froze when he saw me, I just looked at him totally emotionless waiting for his answer. -What?, don't you know how to greet a familiar?!-

I said as I gave him a grotesque smile.

-Who or what are you?!-, he said, I crawled closer, he flinched.

-don't you recognize me Danny?, don't you recognize your own brother?!-

He froze as he looked at me with emotion/terror

-Andy?!, is that you?!, but…, how?!, what happened to you?!-.

I looked at him with anger

-What happened to me?!, I tried everything to make you come back, to make everyone happy, to avoid to see my brother become a murder!, to be with you again!, I almost died because of it, I became a monster because of you!, It's all your fault!-

I said as I grabbed him by the neck and in matter of seconds he was against a wall. I started to strangle him with one hand/claw… this one used to be my real brother…

I dropped him…,

(Don't fuck with me…, am I really feeling bad for this bastard?!)

-Run…-

(What?!, no!, why did I say that?!).

I can't move…, neither Danny can.

-Don't you hear me Danny?!, stay away from me!-

He flew away from me, I don't know how long I can contain me, this isn't what I'm fighting for, I'm not a monster!I refuse to become one!I can't undo what I did, but I can save this world, and I won't make it disappear again!…, maybe I can go back in time and…

(that's what you did the last time!, just look at you!, look at what your heroism leaded you!, but killing everyone won't give me my life back, neither saving this world, sooner or later you're going to destroy it again, nobody remembers you, nobody loves you!…)

I extended my wings, they grew a gooey substance in order to help me to fly and with some heavy flaps I was in the air, I went after him…, in matter of minutes he was in my claws again, I slammed him on the floor, he tried to get up again…, I dug my claw on his neck, I made it intangible in order to not kill him… yet…

-Move and I'll kill you…-

He stayed still, I swear I could hear him sobbing, I rose him in the air and slammed him against a wall, grabbing my claw as he was risen up.

-So…, "Danny" or should I call you corrupted Danny?…, what do you prefer?, strangled or decapitated?-

He looked at me like a little puppy, it just worked once…, it won't work again, I slapped him with my free claw.

-Do you think I'm that stupid to fall for that?!-

He just looked at me afraid…

-Despite everything…, your still a jerk…, how did it felt like to kill everyone with your "trying to unify the world thing"?, and in the end the prey became the hunter…-

-Andy…, I'm…, ack!-

I started to strangle him .

-What did I just say about moving?!-

He just closed his eyes, suddenly I felt a tingling sensation…, he was trying to froze my arm…, how predictable…, I made my claw tangible again, he was choking with his own blood/ectoplasm, my brother…, I felt tears on my face…, just a couple of seconds more before he's dead…, finally I'm free…, but still…, it feels so wrong…, rivers of tears in my face…

-I'm sorry Danny…-

I took my claw away from his neck making him fall lifeless in the floor…, strangely he…, his suit went back to normal, his hair, he didn't had fangs anymore…, why does destiny always does this things to me…, I looked at my claws, they were full of blood and ectoplasm, just another ghost, I tried to think, the ghost who took my life away from me!, then he became human, I can't keep lying myself like that…, he was my brother…, I continued crying as I hugged his corpse, despite everything…

I'm still a coward…

[catzula]

Smile For Me

AN: thank you to the anon who requested Artist Shinsou, it was a really cute idea! I'm sorry for writing the requests really late too but here's a 5.6k fic lol I'm sorry, it's not edited btw cause I'm at holiday and dont know how to write fics on mobile I literally can't :(

Warnings: nope

Genre: fluff

Pairing: shinsou hitoshi x reader

It was a cold day.

You had a sweatshirt on, nothing too thick. The wind was blowing like it was trying to wipe you out the earth. You hugged your body tighter, trying to find some warmth.

The school had let you off early this day since a heavy rain was expected. The logical thing was to go home and do your preparations, but you didn't want to go home just yet, so you had decided to meet one of your friends. You decided you could wait at a park that was near where you were, hoping to find a small Cafe to at least drink something hot, but to your disappointment, nothing similar to what you had in mind was to be seen.

You sighed as you sat on a free bench. You texted your friend to tell her you were sitting at the park, groaning when she told you she was probably going to be late. You leaned forward to take your book out of your bag, trying to forget the cold wind that was sending chills down your body. You wrapped your scarf tighter to your neck, hugging your body with your arms.

You weren't aware of the boy sitting a few meters away from you, a notepad and a pencil in his hands, watching everyone.

***

Shinsou was in a bad mood. He needed to draw something for his art class, but he just couldn't find anything that piqued his interest. He could always draw the baby that was crying in the sand pool, or his mother that was blowing cool air from her mouth to soothe the small wound that was caused from the sand, but none of them looked interesting enough for him to go through and finish a whole piece of art. Maybe the flower standing there could be a reference but-

He sighed. He hadn't slept last night, looking for something to draw. He usually slept very late, but not sleeping at all was a whole new level. His pencil moved over his notepad, though he wasn't drawing anything specific. Shinsou looked at the girl that was sitting on the bench, probably about to freeze to death. People were wearing gloves and winter coats while you only had a sweatshirt and a deep red scarf on. Your eyes fixed on the book you held, your face relaxed, a cute smile now on your lips.

As his eyes wandered over you, he didn't notice his hand starting to outline your figure.

You were lost in your book. You didn't even notice the cold anymore, only when the wind blew your pages did you curse under your breath. When you finished the chapter you were reading, you felt your back hurting and you opened your arms, stretching your body.

Only then did your eyes catch a glimpse of the unruly hair, purple locks defying the gravity in an odd way. He didn't notice you staring at him, he was too concentrated on what was in front of him. He looked like he was drawing something, his eyes, which were the same color as his hair, were fixed on the paper, brows furrowed.

You looked away because if you didn't, he probably would have thought you were a creep, though you could feel your eyes gazing his way every once in a while. You snapped out of your thoughts and just when you were about to keep reading your book, you felt something jump on your lap, making you shriek in surprise.

It was a black cat on your lap, nuzzling its face to you, it sat right on your book as if it was trying to get you to stop reading. You giggled as you pet it, a big smile on your face. You always felt special when cats did this, it felt like you were chosen by some greater good.

You didn't notice the boy across you was watching you as you spoke and giggled to the cat. One of his brows quirked up as he smirked slightly, a girl talking to a cat-like so wasn't something he saw every day.

But maybe it was just what he needed to see.

You were smiling brightly as you talked to the cat, one of the prettiest smiles Shinsou had ever seen. Without taking his eyes off of you, he tried to copy this scene in front of him to the paper.

He was so focused on what he was doing, he didn't even realize you were shivering. He felt like he had seen you before, though he didn't want to waste his time trying to figure out where he had seen you, instead, he was trying to draw that smile of yours, though he just couldn't draw it the way he wanted to.

He just had to see your smile one more time.

But when he lifted his gaze from your sketch to look at you and the cat, you were nowhere to be seen. He stood up without thinking, looking around frantically. He started to run when he saw a glimpse of your deep-red scarf, not even thinking about what to say when he reached you.

When he caught up -he was heaving and his cheeks were red from running- he touched your arm, not sure of what to say. " 'Scuse me."

A deep voice called out, touching your arm slightly. You jumped with surprise but smiled sweetly when you saw it was the guy from the park, the one who was drawing.

"Oh, um, hi." You told him, your smile making his heart beat faster, even though he literally ran with all his might just now. "Did you need something?" You asked, watching him as his hand scratched the back of his neck, moving in his place uncomfortably.

"I- uh, I do need something." He too you as he held his pencil so right, his knuckles turned white. He was never an extroverted person, and what he was doing now was a big blow on his social anxiety.

"Do you have time? I would like to ask you something."

Was this boy asking you out or something? And why did he look so familiar? You could swear you'd seen him quite a lot before, though not really knowing where from. "I'm waiting for my friend, actually. So I have time till she shoves up."

Shinsou was not expecting a positive answer. How was he even supposed to ask you to model for him? Would that be too creepy?

You walked in silence, back to the bench you were sitting at. You were starting to get anxious as he eyed you every once in a while, not saying a word. "I- I'm an art major." He finally started, pulling when you didn't say anything. "I have my finals coming up and I have to draw someone... I saw you talking to the cat just now and I-"

"You saw that?!" You exclaimed, cheeks getting heated as you looked at him wide-eyed. "I- uh, I did. But you see, I think it was really nice and I kinda- actually, let me show you."

Wow, this was going bad, wasn't it?

He held his breath as he opened the notepad in his hands, opening the unfinished sketch he just drew- of you. You gasped as you saw the beautiful drawing, not even acknowledging for a moment that it was you who was smiling and petting a cat, so detailed and so pretty.

"Did you do this now?" You asked him, touching the paper so softly, as it would crumble under your touch with the smallest amount of pressure.

"I did. But I kinda need you to stay a little longer to finish it, I know this is a weird request, but I really need to finish it... So, what do you say? Could you stay a bit longer, not much, just till I finish it?" Your eyes followed his hand as he ran his finger through those purple, soft-looking locks, making you wonder how it would feel like under your hands.

"Wait, you actually want me to model for you?" You asked him, brows borrowing with confusion and disbelief. "Is that weird?" He asked you, a hopeful look in his tired-looking eyes.

"No, I- I mean yes!" Oh, damn, you were awkward. "What I'm trying to say is-" you started, a little calmer, trying to answer with a full sentence this time, "It is very unusual, but probably not as weird as me talking to a cat."

He chuckled at that, a rich sound making your heartbeat a little faster. "Yeah, probably not."

"So does that mean, yes? Will you model for me?" You shrugged as you giggled. "Sure, why not."

He smiled, relief washing over him. "Thank you so much, I can't even tell you how much this helps." He was taking his notepad out but stopped as he saw you trembling like a leaf. "Oh, here." He shook his jacket off his shoulders, handing it to you.

"I can't take this." You told him, wishing you could, "It's yours and it's really cold." Plus, it was your fault you didn't bring a jacket with you and he shouldn't be cold because of your irresponsibleness. "Just take it." He said gruffly, "I'm making you stay here so it's only fair if you took this."

Now that was a solid argument. You accepted the jacket he offered -why did it smell so good? Like soap and a bit like lavender?- and smiled gratefully. "Thank you for that." He shrugged to say it was nothing.

***

Hanging out with Shinsou was better than you had expected. He was such a chill guy, so calm and smart, he didn't talk much but when he did his quick, smart remarks making you admire him a lot.

Even though he had told you it wouldn't take long, the sun was already setting when he was giving the drawing it's last details, though both if you didn't mind it at all. It was supposed to be a quick sketch, all he had to do was to draw the outlines and then he could go on without you, but he just couldn't tell that to you, afraid you'll leave.

He was having fun, too much fun, to let you go. He never thought having a chat with some stranger -who talked to cats, too- would turn out to be so fun. And you were nice. So nice that he felt like he could tell you anything, and you wouldn't judge him, which was a feeling foreign to him.

As he scribbled the last pieces of shadings -he knew he was just adding useless details now- he felt a weird weight in his chest. He didn't want you to go, wanted you to stay with him, and talk even more. He was a quiet guy, in contrast to you -you talked a lot of he was going, to be honest, but he thought of it as adorable and even though it was mostly you talking and him listening, it was obvious both of you liked the presence of each other.

At some time, your friend had canceled, telling you she couldn't make it and she was really sorry, but it hadn't bothered you the least. In reality, you were glad you got to spend more time with him.

You gave him your scarf at one point, and he looked so cute, his face wrapped with a deep red scarf, the color matching his cheeks.

"It's really pretty." You told him, caressing the paper with your finger. "It's you who makes it pretty." He answered, causing your cheeks to heat up.

"I don't know how to answer that." You finally told him after a long silence. Your blunt answer made him giggle, once again scratching his neck, making your heart flutter.

"It was really nice to meet you." You let out, sad that you have to go, and that you'll probably never see him again. "It was really nice to meet you too, and you have no idea how much this helped." He answered though he looked like he wanted to say something else.

"Maybe I'll see you around, you know if you ever come here again." He mumbled, eyes looking at yours awaiting. "Sure." You smiled brightly, happy that you weren't the only one that wanted to meet again. You looked at the sweatshirt you were wearing, the one that belonged to him and was too big for you. "I should give this back."

But instead of taking it, he shook his head. "It's still very cold. You can give it to me the next time we see each other." You smiled, the idea of having some kind of excuse to see him again making your heart hammer your chest. "Then you should keep my scarf too, and I'll have it back when I give you your sweatshirt back."

He smiled too, touching the scarf like it was made of gold. You stood up, your legs sore from sitting for so long. "I should go now, it's getting pretty late." You told him as you looked at the drawing he did one last time. It really was pretty.

"Yeah, I guess." He really shouldn't have felt this bad. "See you around?"

"Yeah, promise you'll have your sweatshirt back." You giggled and turned your back, making your way back to your home, an odd feeling finding it's way to your heart.

Shinsou watched you leave, the same feeling you were experiencing, sending shivers down his spine.

***

It had been a week since you saw Shinsou. And oddly enough you missed him.

You could visit the park only once since that day, disappointed that he wasn't there. You weren't really sure if he had ever visited the park too, wondering if he had thought of you as often as you thought of him.

He probably didn't, and you were making a fool of yourself, but you just couldn't stop, couldn't make the thought of him just go away, though his smell from his sweatshirt was already going away.

You sighed, not being able to focus on your lesson. When the bell finally rang, you stood up, stretching your body as you saw your friend coming next to you. "Hey, what's up-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" She screamed- asked, earning glares from other people in the class. "How could you hide this from me?" Her hands were on your shoulders, shaking you with every word that left her lips.

"What are you talking about?" You asked, confused.

"Oh, come on, don't play dumb now." She told you, though still not saying anything that has the slightest bit of explanation.

"I literally have no idea what you're referring to." Her eyes narrowed slightly as she eyed you suspiciously. "Wait, " her eyes widened when she realized you meant what you said. "You really don't know?"

"Nope." You answered.

"Oh my God." She started giggling, making you a little scared of what was happening. "Are you going to tell me now?"

"No way." She answered between her giggles. "I'll show it to you instead." Now, if that wasn't the most suspicious thing you've heard, you didn't know what was. "I'd really rather you tell me." You told her, though you knew she wouldn't tell you even if you begged on your knees. "Oh come on." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "You know I would never tell you. Just wait for a little and see for yourself."

You sighed but didn't say anything, knowing it wouldn't be anything other than wasting your breath. "Okay, whatever. Show it to me." You sighed.

She grinned as she tugged at your wrists, pulling you in a direction. You let her lead you for at least 15 minutes, you had left the campus, entering the main campus, and then the art gallery.

You knew the art majors were exhibiting their finals projects in here, though you never really had the time to come and look at them. "What are we doing here?" You asked her, but she ignored your question, leading your way in the halls of the maze-like halls of the gallery.

And then she suddenly stopped, making you lose your balance by doing so. "Why did we-" you choked on your words as you lifted your gaze up, looking at the piece of art on the wall.

It was a charcoal drawing, a big one at that. Black and white had so many tones between them, shading was so professional, so detailed and so beautiful, it was like the art was alive, you could swear you might see it moving if you looked closely. But it wasn't the beauty of the art that had you in shock, it was what was on it.

You.

You were in the painting. Talking to a cat.

You knew this drawing, you knew it very well, that was because you had spent every second of the last week, thinking about the artist who drew it.

You turned to your friend, who was watching you with a knowing smirk. "You have to be kidding me." You mumbled. He was at your school? How was that even... Was that why he looked so familiar?

"How is this... Wh- Who did this?" You asked, finally able to say a whole sentence. Her nose scrunched in confusion. "You mean you don't know?"

You shook your head.

"It's Shinsou Hitoshi from 2-A." She answered. "I thought you knew him."

"I do know him." You told her. "But I didn't know- I didn't know we were in the same school, or that he was a grade older than me. I didn't even know he was..." You gulped. "I need to go." You told her, leaving her with many questions to be answered.

"Wait, where are you going?!" She screamed after you.

***

You were running, though you hadn't even stopped to think for a second. What were you even going to tell him when you found him?

Hey, it's me, the girl you drew as an art project? The girl talking to a cat? We met a week ago, I still have your sweatshirt, might be nice to have my scarf back too. You remember me, right?

Yeah, probably wouldn't work out, would it? You decided it was the best to go with the flow -it really isn't- and didn't stop to even think for a second.

You entered the art building, feeling the eyes of the students on you, though you weren't sure if it was because you looked like you were running for your dear life, or maybe it was because you were the girl on the art that obviously everyone saw.

You didn't care about the looks they were sending at you and ran until you stood in front of the door you were looking for.

2/A.

Now that you were finally able to stop and breathe, and actually think about what you were doing, you thought maybe this wasn't a really good idea. You had no idea what to say, you weren't sure if it would actually go with the flow either, and you just didn't know how he would react.

But most of all, you were a little disappointed that you haven't seen him that one the time you visited the park. Did he even ever visit? Yes, maybe you only visited once, but he wasn't there, was he? And maybe it was just dumb to expect anything from-

"Oh, hi!" You heard a girl's voice from behind you. It was a brunette girl who was looking at you with a wide smile, her brown eyes the biggest pair of eyes you had ever seen and she had the sweetest face. "Hi, I was looking for-" You mumbled back, feeling shy, but couldn't even finish your sentence.

"Oh my God, 'Chako isn't that the girl?!" Another girl came running towards you, a big smile and wide eyes on her face as she shouted at the girl talking to you. She had a pink-tinted face, like she was blushing constantly, but it looked cute nevertheless. The brunette nodded like they were sharing some big secret, though the secret was more than necessary at this point.

"You're looking for Hitoshi, right?" The pinkish faced girl asked, her hands holding yours as she jumped in her place.

"Well, I- uhh, I was looking for Shinsou." You told her and she giggled when you couldn't call him by his first name. "Oh my God, you're too cute! I'm Mina, by the way, " she informed you as she tugged you from your wrists to the class. "Come on, he's in here."

When you entered the class, more like pushed from the back by Mina, you lost your balance slightly, recovering quickly. You cod feel everyone looking at you, wondering who you were or why you were here. Though a few of them looked like they knew what was going on, watching you with big interest. You scanned the room for one specific pair of indigo eyes. And you found him, your heart beat picking up almost instantly.

He was there. Sitting in his desk, he had his earbuds in and was looking at his phone with tired eyes, his purple hair hidden under his hoodie. As you saw him just sitting there, you thought maybe this was a bad idea. What if he simply didn't want to see you? Both of you didn't know you were in the same school, and what if he thought you were creepy or clingy or...

His gaze lifted from his phone only for a glance to see why his friends were suddenly so quiet, only to see you standing in front of the door, cheeks tinted red and looking very uncomfortable. Shinsou's eyes widened as he put his phone on his desk and stood up. Looking like he couldn't believe you were there, standing just a few meters away from him, he slowly got closer to you.

When he stopped in front of you, he still looked like he couldn't believe his eyes. "H-hey." You told him, smiling anxiously. Everyone in the class was watching you both, and neither of you felt the slightest bit comfortable there. "You wanna go somewhere more... Private?" He finally asked, ignoring his friend's giggles and 'ooohhhh"'s.

"Oh, yeah, that would be amazing." You answered, letting him lead you out of the class. After a short walk, you found a quiet place, looking at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"I didn't know you were in this school."

"I saw the drawing."

Both of you talked at the same time, making you giggle. "How did you find me?" He asked, his words setting a horrible feeling down your chest. Did he?...

"Y-you didn't want me to find you?" His eyes widened when he realized how his words sounded like. "No! I- I'm actually really happy you did, I was pretty sad when you didn't show up at the park." He mumbled, he seemed so sincere about his words, it caused you to blush. "You went back to the park?" The words tumbled out of your mouth with a much more hopeful tone than you would like.

He scratched the back of his neck anxiously. "I- I did. But you weren't there, so I thought you didn't - uhh, didn't want to see me." His cheeks slightly tinted pink, indigo eyes looking at everywhere but you, you couldn't help but think how adorable he looked.

"I visited the park too." You answered, noticing how close he was, all of a sudden. You could feel his soapy lavender smell, making your heart beat faster and faster with every second.

"I found you because of the drawing." You finally answered his question. "I was there with my friend, and she told me you were the artist." That wasn't exactly true, but you weren't lying either, right? Though he didn't seem to be listening either, his gaze fixed on your lips, smirking.

"I probably should thank your friend, then." He answered, making you chuckle. "Maybe you should."

***

Epilogue

"I really can't believe you're going on a date with Shinsou Hitoshi." Your friend repeated for the 100th time as she applied some highlighter to your cheeks.

"I can't either." You answered, feeling all giddy inside. It didn't take long for Shinsou to ask you out after you both found each other, and almost everyone knew about how you met now. Your friends eyes wandered over you.

"I understand everything but that sweatshirt, " she told you, face scrunched with disapproval, "you really can't wear that to a first date, you know." She told you, looking at the sweatshirt on you like it was the ugliest thing in the world but you ignored it. It might not be the prettiest thing you had, but it had history and you secretly liked wearing it, the lavender smell calming your nerves.

"I'm gonna be late." You told her, standing up when she finished the make up. As you arrived to the Cafe Shinsou and you decided to meet at you felt anxiety and excitement washing over you.

It wasn't far from your campus, making it easier for both of you. As you entered the Cafe, a smell of ground coffee filled your senses. Your eyes wandered around, looking for one particular head of purple hair.

You smiled when you saw him, all wrapped up in your red scarf you had given him, the biggest smile on his face when he saw you wearing his sweatshirt.

He thought you looked like a piece of art.