#I can't drive anyway
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I'm so mad that post was misinformation because there is actually an EXTREMELY important conversation to have about the production schedules artists are forced into. There's no need for exaggeration, the conditions are bad.
I work for webtoon. My publication schedule is weekly. While publishing I'm required 10-15 pages a week. Fully colored.
This means I'm finishing a 150 page fully colored graphic novel every 10-15 weeks.
When my comic is not updating, I am not getting paid. Any time writing, editing, or off is out of my own pocket. I don't get healthcare. They do not provide any assistants. They expect me to promote myself; they chose to deprioritize me before I even launched and gave me an end date half a year in. I never had a chance.
And this is the industry standard! Every company has artists forced into crunch hours, overtime, and burnout. Artists are literally dying early due to it. So many of my friends can't afford to go to the doctor.
It's unsustainable and untenable, and it's also the expectation our audiences have.
If we want to have this conversation, there's plenty of conversation to be had with the realities of the situation. It's bad as is.
#and people get mad at us about 'short updates' lmfao#the companies are absolutely abusing our passion and our desperate situations#but readers genuinely offer little to no grace#if I am going to be able to leave#then the conditions for me to be able to leave need to exist#and they just Dont right now#I'm not making nearly enough to pay my bills without webtoon#I NEED the job#I dont have a car#I cant fucking afford one#I can't drive anyway#I NEED TO WORK#THIS IS MY JOB#I want to leave I'm being mistreated but I CANT!!!#anyways. whatever#I'm so fucking upset that someone just idk spread misinformation#and now the conversation is about like nooo she was under the same shit conditions as everyone else#she's just a really good writer#like okay that's awesome and I'm really glad#but WOULDNT IT BE NICE IF SHE WASNT ALSO OVERWORKED?#AND ALSO IF GOOD WRITERS WERE ABLE TO WRITE WELL WITHOUT HAVING TO BE OUTLIERS???#god it makes me so so so mad!!!!#fucking ruining a really important conversation to have!!!#we're mistreated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we just are!!!!!!!!!!1#I'm not paid enough to build the savings to take risks!#this 6 month break was EVERYTHING#I NEED to start working to pay my bills now#like it's over I ran out of time#its heartbreaking#I hate it here
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The Ferryman's Scorpion
{ Click/Tap for better quality. }
My entry for @catmask 's and @frogcroaks ' contest, Monster Mayhem!
I chose the theme Wisteria Will-O-Wisp for flower symbolism and will-o'-the-wisp folklore. Also because of the color purple ← My favourite color 💜
Thank you for hosting this contest where I can try out monster designing and good luck to the other participants. Peace and love on planet Earth!
#monster mayhem#monster design#creature design#character design#monster#creature#will o' the wisp#digital art#original art#digital artist#artists on tumblr#IT'S DONE!!! Completed two days before the deadline... 🥲#I was rotting away from concepting this it was shockingly haaaard#Until I got inspired by an old monster sketch in my highschool sketchbook lol#Anyways I don't usually do monster designs (I mostly prefer character designing; usually humanoids)#And I *know* I could just design a humanoid monster but...#...I can't resist designing a cool monster honestly#I'm using Tumblr to submit this because I'm not used to Google Drive#And I feel I will fuck up using that so... Tumblr it is!
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~ a little something about Dazai and his tantrums ~
"... Hmph. I hope you crash this car and we both die."
The moody brunet mutters under his breath as he looks out of the car window, his arms crossed over his chest, refusing to look at you. He was awfully cute whenever he did this, and oh so vexing at the same time. You learned to acclimate to this very early into your relationship with him.
"What? All I said was that I was going to be driving us, Osamu!"
Your laugh is light hearted as you focus on the road ahead, dismissing his whiny behavior for another one of his... Melodramatic performances, his co-workers once called it. He finally turns to glare at you, but a wicked glint in his narrowed eyes betrays him... You can tell he's more unserious than anything. Playful, even. And besides, he would never actually be upset with you, he just can't stop thinking up schemes to make you roll your eyes at him. Your smile alone makes his thoughts impure, shame on you!
"Yeah, well... I feel dehumanized! overlooked! neglected..." He feigns offense, sighing heavily as he slouches into the passenger seat. He places a bandaged arm over his face, groaning softly but still side eyeing you to check if you're looking at him or not.
"You do that all on your own, silly."
"Excuse me? I'm expressing my grievances and you're calling me silly? Oh, so that's what this is really about. You don't love me anymore! What a cruel beauty you are..."
He gasps, now burying his face into the crook of his elbow, pretending to weep as he mumbles incoherent nonsense about how much you mistreat him. In actuality, he was giddy as hell. You park the car, and turn to face him, a coy smile flashes on your lips.
"Nobody said anything about not loving you. Now, what can I do to fix this, Mm?"
He lifts his head up, suddenly composed and shrugging his shoulders as if nothing ever happened, speaking in a matter of fact voice that somehow deepened.
"Well, definitely don't let me drive. I don't even have a license. I'd kill us in an instant."
"... Then why argue about it?!"
"Because you look so beautiful when you're yelling at me. And you make me feel alive. Anddd, because I'm bored~"
He flashes you a cheeky grin, it's dreamy and sickening. His eyes twinkle with mischief as he leans over the seat and flicks away a stray hair from your face. Dazai then taps the tip of your nose, slowly dragging his finger down to your plush bottom lip, gently flipping it over to expose your teeth. The pad of his finger gently swirls against your canines, and finally, retreats... He knows there's a time and place for his worship prodding. His eyes travel back up to yours, and you can swear they look darker than usual. If only the Port Mafia could see what became of the Demon Prodigy... A new man reborn! A man who loves!
The rest of the day is spent with you indulging Dazai, something along the lines of 'reparations' is what he calls it. Only he knows how much it means to him that you can handle him during his calculated outbursts... or rather harmless tests to prove you won't leave him at the first sign of trouble. He needs you to be in it for the longhaul, just like he is. It's deceptive, but no one has to know! He just loves you and these are simply counter measures. You'd probably call him selfish, but as long as you call him at all, he doesn't give a shit. Because in the grand scheme of things, he really can't drive, and you two are inevitably endgame.
You're the ball, and he's your chain.
#A PROPER DRABBLE LADIES N GENTS#can't stop thinking of dazai secretly putting u through trials throughout your relationship to make sure you're sticking around#his loser ass has severe separation anxiety and abandonment issues#it's a lil toxic......... but if u love him u won't mind#slightly yandere dazai save meeeeeee#i need him arrested!!!!!#anyway dazai can't drive and he's a freak#i love Him like that i love the pathetic microwaveable man#bungou stray dogs#dazai x reader#bsd dazai#dazai x you#osamu dazai#osamu dazai x reader#bsd x reader#dazai imagines#dazai fluff#dazai drabble#yandere dazai
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I can't believe that this man now lives in my head rent-free
#reuploading#there was a mistake that was driving me crazy#anyway as I was saying earlier I can not believe it's supernatural that's dragging me out of my art block#I wanna learn how to draw their faces so that's why the focus on this is mainly on his face#can't wait to draw spn memes#supernatural#fanart#supernatural fanart#supernatural art#digital art#my art#castiel#castiel novak#misha collins
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If I may throw my hat into the ring here, I think the source of a lot of problems in the writing of Miraculous can be boiled down to its confusion over its target demographic.
There are two very clear audiences the show is trying to cater to:
Grade school girls around 5-10
Teens/young adults around 15-20
And this results in some. unique conflicts in the show's internal logic.
Because it's a superhero show for little kids, it's full of fun, bright colors, wacky villain-of-the-week designs, and the characters are all very straightforward with exaggerated personality traits. The cheerful, clumsy, scatterbrained girl protagonist, her utterly charming and goofy (but slightly clueless) love interest, her cool best friend, her mean bully, etc.
This extends to the romance; the show is so comedic that Marinette's nervous crush and Cat Noir's flirting are played up for laughs. Their more "problematic" behaviors read as cartoon shenanigans first and foremost, which I do think was the intention - they're both shown as being more than a little ridiculous for acting this way, so they're not exactly trying to encourage people to emulate them. They're allowed to be genuinely wholesome, too, because it's nice to give the kids something to go "aww!" at, but it's not meant to be more complicated or deep than that.
And of course, it's gotta follow a sweet and simple episodic formula! A conflict in Marinette's civilian life, an inciting incident to get a side character upset enough for Hawk Moth to turn into a villain, Ladybug and Cat Noir show up, there's fun banter, Ladybug uses her Lucky Charm to figure out a wacky solution to the problem, and boom! The day is saved, Marinette and/or someone else learns a moral, and we get a cute little end screen showing all the key players of the episode.
The one aspect of the show's setup that's a little more serious is the fact that Adrien has a super controlling and distant father, but even this is something that doesn't necessarily break the kid-friendly tone for the first season or two. Superhero shows in particular like to put in some stuff that's a little more emotionally challenging for the viewers, even when they're mostly comedic, so it's not totally out of place here.
For example, while they tend to have more grounded tones overall, Spider-Man cartoons are aimed at kids and regularly keep the conflict between Harry Osborn and his father, Norman, intact; often including the plot point of Norman being the Green Goblin, a notorious villain. It's a similar deal with Adrien, and his dad secretly being Hawk Moth.
You can easily anticipate drama coming from this, but the show primes you to expect it to work out fine in the end because every other conflict so far has been wrapped up in a nice little bow once the episode's over. Though I will say, the choice to have Hawk Moth be Gabriel instead of his own, separate character is perhaps the first sign of the tone shift to come.
And, uh. it sure is a shift.
See, Miraculous does not start out with what you'd call a... plot. It vaguely alludes to there being more going on behind the scenes, but the only thing it really tries to get you invested in is the Love Square dynamic. Marinette and Adrien dancing around each other while fighting crime IS the plot, and it's clearly going to end with a cool final confrontation with Hawk Moth.
You expect it to end like... well, like the movie. Identities are revealed, Gabriel realizes the error of his ways when he finds out he's been fighting his son this whole time, and they may or may not make up but he almost definitely gets arrested. Marinette and Adrien kiss, roll credits.
This is not what happens, because the plot the writers actually had in mind is complex in a way that I would argue is meant for the same audience as YA novels. And with that plot comes a lot of darker, weightier traits to these otherwise silly characters.
Marinette isn't just scatterbrained and nervous, she has debilitating anxiety and an increasing need to be in control of everything due to the stress she's under. She has panic attacks on-screen. She's not just great at strategizing, she also knows how to manipulate people, and does so with increasing frequency - and to Cat Noir at times, no less. Her positive traits haven't gone anywhere, she's still loving and creative and sweet and doing her best to help everyone she can, she just. has all of that other stuff going on, now.
Adrien isn't just a charming, goofy, clueless love interest with a gazillion skills and a controlling father, he's like. actively being abused, and in some cases straight-up mind controlled. His tendency to heroically sacrifice himself so that Ladybug can do her Cool Protagonist Thing is gradually but unmistakably reframed as being a sign of suicidal inclinations. He has identity issues out the wazoo and he doesn't even know he's an artificially created human yet, because everyone in his life is keeping secrets from him and/or lying to his face about crucial information.
Information like, uh. how his dad died???
Yeah, so we're at a point in the story now where there was no satisfying conclusion to the Gabriel plot, no team-up, no moment where he realizes he's been fighting his son, none of that. He still has something akin to a change of heart, but he also still kind of gets what he wants - the Miraculous of the Ladybug and Black Cat, which he uses to rewrite the universe with a wish. It's just that instead of reviving his wife, he trades his life for Natalie's. Of course, he was already dying anyway, which was his own fault but he did force Cat Noir's Cataclysm onto himself, so, that's another thing poor Adrien is going to have to deal with at some point.
And because there's all these astronomically messed up things in Adrien's life, and Marinette's the one who got to learn about all of it before him, she decides that maybe it would be better if he just. didn't know about it. Which is understandable, if I was 14 and had all this information about my boyfriend's life that he didn't, I wouldn't know how to begin telling him about it, either.
But. can you see how we've maybe lost the plot, here?
Here's the thing: starting with a simple framework and gradually getting more complex and subverting the audience's expectations for how the main villain is going to be dealt with is not a bad thing. The fact that it gets darker over time is not an issue. I actually think that all these developments are, themselves, pretty cool! I'm a sucker for angst and complex character dynamics and the show is absolutely giving me those things.
The problem is that it didn't just start with a simple framework, it started with the framework for a different demographic entirely, and perhaps just as importantly, it never actually... stopped.
For as much complexity and intensity they're injecting this story with, they're still working under the logic of it being "for young kids." We still get goofy villain-of-the-week designs with equally goofy motivations, and the supporting cast is stuck remaining two-dimensional no matter their circumstances. Chloe is the most blatant example of this - she was made to be a simple bully first, so no matter what else they do with her, she has to remain straightforwardly evil.
This, I think, is the reason that Gabriel is a more nuanced and "sympathetic" antagonist than her, and why so much care goes into Adrien's character as a victim of abuse while Chloe is just a Problem Child despite suffering similar neglect; she wasn't made to be interesting, and so the show is resistant to changing that. Gabriel and Adrien, however, were already made with nuance in mind, and so they're allowed to develop as characters. And at the same time, it's a kid's show! We need to teach the kids what kind of behavior is acceptable, and Chloe's home life isn't an excuse to treat people badly, so--!
...Oh crap we're supposed to be teaching kids about acceptable behavior. Uh. Um. Quick, bring back the ice cream akuma who cares way too much about his ships so that Cat Noir can learn about consent! Uhh, but don't change his character too much afterwards, he's only marketable because of his silly flirting, and we can't lose that.
Yeah, remember when I said that the romance having problematic elements to it used to work well enough because it was clearly just exaggerated cartooniness? It wasn't free from criticism or anything, but you could see how it was intended to be endearing and silly, right? You were supposed to point and laugh at Marinette's convoluted plans to spend time with Adrien, at Cat Noir's dramatic flirting attempts that Ladybug herself fondly rolled her eyes at.
The tonal shift into deep character exploration kinda paints the previous stuff in a worse light, and to an extent, I think the writers know that. It's hard to laugh at Cat Noir being flirty all the time when he's also supposed to be taken completely seriously, and the more Ladybug rejects him, the more it turns into harassment, and it. kinda just stops being funny, even with the comedic framing.
It's also hard to laugh at Marinette's crush being so all-consuming when they try to tell us (in what I can only assume was an attempt to get people to stop complaining) that she's like this because it's fueled by an event in her past, one that made her so scared of loving the wrong person that she now needs to know Everything about them before asking them out. Her cartoon antics aren't funny under that light, it's just concerning, but they're dedicated to keeping it up anyway.
The show runs on straightforward cartoon logic where you're not supposed to think about it too hard just as much as it runs on grounded, closer-to-real-life logic where people are messy and complicated and actions have consequences. It's so divided that you can hand-pick parts of the story that are influenced by one or the other pretty easily, and depending on the episode you can find instances of both in the same 20-minute time span. Maybe even multiple times!
Neither thing they're trying to go for is bad, and neither is a better approach than the other, but forcing them into the same show makes both sides suffer.
It's not just hard to laugh at the parts I mentioned earlier, it's hard to take Gabriel seriously as a villain whenever you rewatch an episode and remember that he has a once-per-episode pun-based speech that he says so self-seriously that you can't help but laugh at. It's hard to take him seriously when you remember that he repeatedly akumatized a Literal Baby and practically threw a tantrum every time it didn't work, or when he randomly steals (and enthusiastically performs) his nephew's musical dance number, or something similar that you would only do for a cartoon villain aimed at five-year-olds.
And I can only imagine this whole show is a marketing nightmare, too. Hey, little girls, here's your cool role model! She's cute and smart and talented and powerful and can fix anything by shouting the title of the show! Hope you're having fun watching her tell her boyfriend that his newly-deceased father (who used deepfakes of him to sell merchandise that's built to enslave the population and then locked him in a solitary confinement chamber in another country) was actually a hero who sacrificed himself to stop the main villain instead of, y'know, being the main villain! Aren't you excited to watch her wrestle with the guilt of this lie for the next season or so? Doesn't it just make you want to buy her merchandise??
Like. what is even happening right now. what am I watching. how did we get here and why did we start where we did if this was what the story was going to be about
#miraculous ladybug#ml spoilers#ml s5 spoilers#ml s5 finale#analysis#meta#Does this warrant going under the salt tag?? I don't actually post about this series much#ml salt#just in case#'Who is this show supposed to be for' is a question that haunts me constantly#You can't even say it's a family show because family shows are NOT this conflicted about themselves#It's not just 'for everyone' because it's very specifically For Little Kids and For Young Adults SEPARATELY and AT THE SAME TIME#<-Stuff I couldn't fit in the main analysis but is relevant anyway#To be clear I DO like this show quite a lot and I'm absolutely looking forward to season 6#I just needed to get this out there because it was driving me crazy
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For those who are looking to do something about KOSA (Kids Online Safety Act), it is important that you know that KOSA is not a law by itself. If you look for S1409, it died in committee.
All of these laws are being passed under the umbrella of S.2073 - Eliminate Useless Reports Act of 2024. The actual text of what was passed regarding KOSA is here and the roll call of shame is here.
If you are planning to contact your rep, please contact them about Eliminate Useless Reports Act of 2024, because that is what they will be reading and debating.
#I knew it! It took me 30 fucking minutes to track it down but I KNEW IT#KOSA#kids online safety act#I can't find out what happened to the other amendments#But rest assured that every single thing about this law is bad!#All of the news is linking to S1409 but that's not it and it's driving me crazy#Anyway this is what I do now
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Jason who immediately loses respect for people who don't own up to their mistakes vs Annabeth who would rather die than admit she made a mistake
#jason vs annabeth. autism vs npd lol#idk what the outcome is. i don't think they'd fight physically. but jason would get on her ass. and she'd be so fucking pissed abt it#she'd strategize different ways to put him in uncomfortable situations for whatever reason#and he's just vibing through them because he's been uncomfortable his entire life. pretending to be bacon for a monster is not new#anyway jason looking at his dad who's refusing to admit he made some dumb decisions and immediately going this guy is an idiot fuck him#happy talks pjo#npd!annabeth#jason grace#annabeth chase#oh oh annabeth needing everyone to like and trust her and jason's lost respect for her drives her up the fucking wall#she's the only one of the seven who could really be considered friends with all of them and jason's judgy eyes make her want to explode#she 100% rants herself to sleep about things he says. maybe that's where percy and jason's beef arised from#percy recognizing that annabeth is fustrated with jason because jason is blunt and doesn't really know to soften his words.#so now percy is fustrated with jason because annabeth is the source of his personhood right now. meanwhile jason is just vibing oblivious#no social awarenes whatsoever. anyway lol#but oooooo see leo's inferiority complex actually makes him fess up to errors in a way that judges him (jokingly but not really)#even if the error wasn't his fault. but it's his willingness to admit to his mistakes that makes jason really appreciate and trust him#so we have npd!annabeth who can't admit to being wrong because it would kill her ego#and then inferiority complex leo who does admit to being wrong because he hates himself#and when he fucks up he is quick to confess (often in a self-deprecating joke manner) so that no one can say anything that would hurt him#if he kills his ego before other people can even attempt it then he's safe from their judgement in some way#okaaaay bac to studying lol
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|| >
There's not much Steve remembers.
There's a group of people walking through the woods, some older, some teens. He's amongst them. The sky is too dark and the trees are too dead. His hands are tight, holding something close. There's an air of panic, stress, hurry, caution. A mistake was made, and they need to escape.
Then instincts flare and the trees descend on them. Sharp rushes of wind, the shrill shrieking of something otherworldly. There's teeth and sharp whips and screaming and gunshots.
Then the swirling mass parts and the shrieks turn human, and Steve remembers the visceral fear of seeing the mass separate. One half rises, carrying a flailing, manic figure, and no no no Robin please no not Robin please no me take me instead you bastards not Robin please no Robin Robin-
Then the other half descends, whips circle his wrists, and the ground falls beneath him. There's screaming behind and before him as the earth fades away, and it's a cruel parallel, floating when all he wants to do is sink.
Robin's thrashing, Steve's thrashing. Their weapons have no use here, where teeth and whips maul them. Amid the pain, all Steve can do is plead to Robin, to forgive, to hope, to fight.
Robin finds the weak spot first. A quick succession of blind swings, a fierce thrash of flailing limbs. The bats scare, release her. But they're too high. Steve feels his throat go coarse as he watches Robin crash into the dead forest below, unable to differentiate the snapping between bark and bone.
Steve finds it in him to copy the act, do the same. And somehow, it works. Somehow, he's weightless.
There's a fierce pressure and the first snap he remembers feeling both on and within his skin-
And Steve wakes up.
It's not sudden, it's gradual. He feels the pains within him slowly throb to life, rousing him from sleep like an anchor rising from the sea. His left hand feels thick, and there's a burning poker laying across his forehead. His jaw feels wrong, and his eye stings and throbs.
His other senses slowly begin to return as well. He's laying down, his head tilted to his left, a bit cramped in the space as something presses around his shoulders. The material he's on isn't very comfortable either, some parts stabbing into his back, and there's a crinkling sound every time he breathes. He hears the faint rippling of water, and somewhere out there, it rushes fast and hard.
It's hell to even think of doing it, but as Steve returns to reality, his instincts rise to the surface, and he knows he has to get up soon. So he opens his eyes. He fights the involuntary tears, wincing as the stinging worsens, then wincing further when his face crumbles in the looping pain.
Finally, he can see a little. Where he is, it's thankfully pretty dark, with only a faint golden glow illuminating the area around him. His eyes strain to see through the darkness past the range of the light-
And then Steve notices where he is. A boathouse. The boathouse. The same one from a night that feels like a lifetime ago, rather than a few weeks. The start of their worst journey, the beginning of a friendship that would grow just to rot into a sour mess of guilt and loneliness.
He's laying within the same boat too...
His eyes focus on some motion across from him. A table covered in a lump of tarps and ratty cloths, and atop it sleeps a figure. Her face is scrunched up in pain, a patch of bloody fabric covering her cheek. One leg has been removed of all clothes, the ankle wrapped and foot elevated. Steve knows her, and instinct briefly overpowers everything else.
"Robs?-" Steve cracks out, his voice sore and rough. His body tries to rise, moving habitually, and he barely rises onto his elbows before the world pounces on him again. It's so strong and he's so weak that he can't move more than the closing of his eyes and the falling of his chin to his chest, can't make a sound louder than a whimper.
Suddenly there's a noise, there's movement beside him. The light glows just a tough brighter, and there's a base warmth suddenly pulsing through his chest.
It's a person, shushing him. Their hand is resting softly on his back, simultaneously supporting him and urging him down.
"Please, stay. It is better for you to rest."
The voice speaks softer than Steve can remember, but he still knows it. It's monotone, sounds ghostly, faint, quiet in a way that has nothing to do with volume, but it's still familiar. Still brings the memories around Steve right into the present, takes him back to that corpse, makes the presence around him feel more melancholic than scary.
Which is funnily enough, even more terrifying.
Steve can't move, can't pull his sight up to face what can't be reality.
"Apologies for the location. We cannot stray too far from the Gates."
The monotone changes to sound almost apologetic, more real, more like what Steve has been craving. It's what finally makes him cave, to turn his eyes to face the impossible.
Who he sees, what he sees, both crushes and rises his hope. Because past everything before him - the inhuman glow, the calm, plain expression - he finds exactly what he's been fighting for.
"Eddie...?" Steve pleads.
The blank face falls, just slightly. Like it's guilty.
"I'm sorry. No. Not quite."
(cleaner version below)
#MY SHOWER THOUGHTS KEEP GOING WAY TOO HARD#why did thinking of lore for vecna's generals create this completly different story wtf-#anyway eddie's body gets possesed by the original spirit of the upside down#it saves stobin from death and takes them to rest at the boathouse for safety#all bc of eddie's input bc dude's still in there#he just can't drive#I’LL EXPAND LATER BUT HERE’S THIS FOR NOW JHGVJYGCJYGV#also it’s stobin bc i couldn’t decide if the story was better with just steve or robin so fuck it let’s have the siblings suffer together#stranger things#steve harrington#robin buckley#eddie munson#stranger things au#platonic soulmates stobin#platonic stobin#stobin friendship#steddie#steve x eddie#implied bc it's me of course
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don’t wanna get too into it bc… nsfw but how does asexual greed work when he literally says that he wants sex and women? is he just not attracted to them in that way or–
well in terms of nitty-gritty homunculi biology they are quite literally an asexual species, like father reproduces via budding lol. And then given his physical embodiment of lust herself seemingly has no sex drive and is instead Way more interested in killing it's a pretty easy conclusion that as a species they just have no sexual interests because why would they (pretty sure father as the dwarf in the flask had some comments about finding human pairings distasteful, and given all his kids are just offshoots of his personality i can't see that shifting much haha (also more shitposty take but there's the much funnier observation that all of the homunculi come with their funny little onsies literally built-in to their regenerative code so there is an incredibly real chance they're all just ken dolls down there anyways))
as for why greed himself says stuff like wanting women and sex etc., i mean he also says he wants money and power and the finer things in life and then spends his time happily hanging out in a dingy dive bar with no real long-term goals besides 'hang out with my friends and investigate immortality which is definitely for me and not for anyone else that i'd be sad to see die no siree don't ask me why i'm doing this if i'm already virtually immortal'
so yeah it's a fun aspect of his character that greed says he tells the truth but he will also just sort of...lie about his own drives to himself and others all the time lol - i'd almost chalk it up to his love of performance but there's def also some intentional personal misdirection going on, which was very obvious as greedling when ling (correctly) calls him out on acting like all he wants is power when really the only thing he wants is to have friends
basically he says he wants money and power and women and sex because that's what common human desires are but then he makes absolutely 0 effort to follow through on any of those claims because deep down that isn't actually anything he's interested in
#greed: haha yeah I want money and sex and the finer things#also greed: what if I lived in a sewer#anyways i'm sure i've made these arguments more eloquently before but I can't be bothered to find those asks again right now haha#but yeah greed is a funny guy who is also a Fascinating character study when you remember he represents a driving part of what was the dwar#a lot of bravado hiding a genuine desire for human connection#reply#fma#meta#i suppose lol
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rewatching s1 this time around has actually left me sooooo fascinated by buck and abby's relationship??????? bc what we know of it in its aftermath is actually completely visible on screen during the season???
in episode 6 when abby is talking to carla about a potential valentines day date with buck she outright says she's fine with him being a boytoy and it just being something casual so she can feel good in herself again and is almost complaining that buck is taking it so seriously by trying to go slow. and the thing is, i don't think her stance on that ever changes???????
she absolutely cares about him and appreciates him for everything he does for her (both in helping support her with her mom and what he does in helping her find her way back to herself) but i don't think she ever really wanted or needed him to be more than that????
on the flipside, you have buck who's experiencing feelings he's never felt before and is so totally overwhelmed by this woman who's making him realise real connection is possible and it feels a million times better than the way he's vied for people's attention before. and there's something a little heartbreaking in the way he questions if he's ready for it to be something real. because bobby encourages him to step into the relationship fully and in the end he does do that
but abby doesn't really want him to???
so you have buck, fully committed and ready to be the partner he thinks abby needs, and abby, who is so completely unable to be that partner in return because she wants to navigate the next stage of her life alone
and aksdjfh it's just!!!! so!!!!! interesting!!!!!!!!! and i am once again BEGGING someone to make a gifset/video/edit/anything for them with reckless driving by lizzy mcalpine
#also#the way it *primes* buck to be ready to as the partner EDDIE needs from day one i have to go#911 rewatch#but anyway back to the lyrics!!!!#abby is: 'I didn't mean to kiss you // I mean I did but I didn't think it'd go this far // I didn't mean to kiss you // Now you can't focus#on the road when I'm in your car'#and 'I don't love you like that // I'm a careful driver#And I tell you all the time to keep your eyes on the road#But you love me like that // You're a reckless driver // And one day it'll kill us if I don't let go'#while *buck* is: 'But then it's over in a second // Crashed the car into the tree // I don't know how it happened // Guess I'd die to keep#your eyes on me'#and 'Cause I love you like that // I'm a reckless driver#And you tell me all the time to keep my eyes on the road#Do you love me like that?// If I keep on driving // Would you hold me when we crash or would you let me go?#AND THEN THE BRIDGE#Don't wanna scrape you off the pavement#I can't be your savior // I don't wanna be here when you lose control#Don't wanna watch it as it happens // See the crowd's reaction // I don't wanna be here when you kill us both'#i'm honestly begging someone to discuss this with me askdjfhs
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since when did the stars stop shining so brightly?
Palestine: Funds | Action | eSims | Info Sudan Resources | Congo Resource | Lebanese Red Cross
#gravity falls#the book of bill#tbob#gravity falls fanart#bill cipher#human bill cipher#bill cipher gijinka#is this about depression or is this about earth's general all over light pollution#making most of the planet not ideal for star gazing as bill is used to it. u be the judge fhshdjsj#bill my darling my dear here's what ur gonna do okay#plan for clear weather and get soos to drive u about 3 hours southwest til u reach optimal stargazing around central oregon#and make sure to pack a coat cuz the deserts round there get cold at night <3#anyways i like that there has historically been this Genre of bill art where he's just stargazing on the mystery shack roof#i can't imagine bill sleeping much at night when there's the possibility of stars to look at. AND the possibility of increased Weirdness#think my postcanon bill naps during the day sometimes but mostly wanders the woods at night and comes back around daybreak
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feeling a teensy bit emotional about an nfl team being so nice and hype about daniel on their socials after the entirety of f1 media was so awful about him for basically the last year. It just kind of puts the bubble that is the f1 media in perspective.
#feels like everyone is against daniel because the f1 media is a little community of bullshit#like the worst small town you've ever had the displeasure to drive through on your way to something better#a wide spot in the road as my dad would say#where people spread gossip about their neighbors like it's breaking news and once you have a reputation it becomes a stigma#that you can't shake and no matter how much you show who you truly are people will never let it go#But that is a small community and once you drive outta there you leave their loser opinions behind#because not a single person outside of that town gives a shit about what they have to say or what gossip they're spreading#anyway i should go to therapy
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Fall picture! I haven't done one in a while
#danny phantom#danny fenton#tucker foley#danny phantom fanart#my laptop? dead. so i cant do a whole lot for the moment. hope the hard drive still works and didn't get watered so i can grab my files#at least my ipad didnt get splashed.#i havent drawn freckled tucker in a while!#baggy pants!!! baggy pants for the boys!!#the last fall picture i remember drawing was of the whole trio and someone made a weird (horny adjacent) comment about sam#anyway! fall vibes are something else :)))) of course cooler weather won't get to me for a few months still oooh i can't wait#dp jbee
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friendships as marital ties (and other notes on relational ties) in mlc
this is sort of a third installment in the series of meta on 'mlc as an exemplar of constructing queer narratives out of chinese ideological frameworks' (1. jianghu as queer space and 2. how it manifests in li xiangyi) - focusing on the nature of relationships in it. (which I've briefly mentioned in the first one and finally actually getting to it!!)
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I would like to first call attention to chinese ideological frameworks as a premise of queer reading in mlc. the goal of chinese philosophy is to explore the becoming of human, taking two broad paths of the (mainstream) secular vs. escaping the secular. (these two paths are not a strict dichotomy, and rather, are ever in flux and in conversation with each other.) as said by @markiafc too, chineseness is so much about the rigidity of structures, and in equal part, a desire to break out of them. thus, chinese ideological frameworks can very much offer a rich reading of queerness - that mlc, a story very deliberately structured based on chinese ideologies (more accurately, with good reasons for me to believe that it is as such), has managed to materialise.
if the conceptualisation of queerness is premised on a defiance against mainstream norms, then a reliable way to read queerness in chinese ideological frameworks can be to deconstruct it by the mainstream confucian frameworks.
in mlc, this is implicitly set up with its stage of wulin/martial jianghu. then it is further broken down by asking, hey wulin jianghu is still closely related to the hegemonic values and the mainstream structure of authority (historically, 侠 xia being politically involved says a lot about this), so what is the true meaning of jianghu? what does it then really take for jianghu to be a queer space offering comfort and freedom to those who have escaped to it - to be the space that allow the transcendence of rigid roles and labels? mlc took a step further to resist the proxy to mainstream values that wulin jianghu has become.
this is why there can be a very strong buddhism reading of mlc (suggested here, expounded in the A+++ meta by @markiafc here and here, and also what I've seen discussed by cnet as well), given that buddhism is one of the 'extra-secular' ideologies, alongside (philosophical) taoism. I've also touched on a taoist angle in this meta. both schools are articulated in different sets of languages, but ultimately convey a same ideal of what it means to be human and how to live well - that is, to resist the roles and labels defined by the norms.
so, back to confucian frameworks.
a lot can be discussed about mlc with it. but in the context of this meta about relationships in mlc, it's specifically drawing on how confucianism conceptualises social relationships with familial ties as a cornerstone, and how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self'.
as such, one of the things about mlc that has fascinated me is how deliberately it seems to ignore and reject the conventional familial ties (the kind by blood and marital ties). I've joked about how it is a miracle for me to love mlc as much as I do, as a prime dysfunctional family story enjoyer, despite none of its main characters struggling with any complicated feelings about their (biological) parents. but on closer examination, mlc is also making a comment on the model of familial-based relationships that dominates mainstream society - but through the absence of it.
with this, I want to talk about 1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties; and then 2) how it repurposes these ties in its own ways.
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the five relational ties in confucianism:
father and son 父子有亲 - (natural) affection between father and son
ruler and subject 君臣有义 - righteous relationship between ruler and subject
older and younger brothers 兄弟 (长幼有序) - this is actually about seniority within the family; the order between older vs younger family members
husband and wife 夫妇有别 - differentiation between husband and wife (demarcated by the 内外 spectrum of gendered inner-external spheres)
friends 朋友有信 - trust between friends
logically inferred, all these ties are hierarchical and familial-based except for the last one: friends. ruler-subject is sort of an extension of the natural familial ties, while friendship is the inverse space of 1-4 (ie. you fall back on 5 to define a social relationship outside of the familial sphere that cannot be qualified as 1-4). while all are premised on mutuality, it is only no. 5 that is defined by a sense of choice and equality.
on the surface, 1-4 don't quite exist in mlc in particularly meaningful ways to the narrative or are even outright overlooked, and friendship is the relational tie most valued by mlc. we can tell it's true just by looking at the most meaningful relationships in mlc of difanghua. but at the same time, it is more nuanced. we can take a closer look at how the story plays around with most of the ties as part of a broader queer narrative.
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1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties
mlc's rejection of mainstream relational ties can be best seen in fdb escaping from marriage. and it was not just any engagement with anybody but an engagement with the imperial family. he struggles with the prospect of being married to princess zhaoling, but generally, it's about the idea of complying to mainstream conventions and expectations that includes compulsory heterosexuality. all these point not only to a defiance against amatonormativity - the resistance of the traditional husband-wife tie, but also an irreverence for the ties of ruler-subject (the engagement being an imperial decree) and father-son (matters of marriage being sole decisions made by parents).
of course this is on top of how fdb's own biological father is a p-o-s, and the narrative gives fdb minimal struggles in this aspect, allowing him to sever this tie without looking back (I love it, yeap). along the same line is how lxy is an orphan, who came to gain important relationships that are built on natural compassion among people rather than innate, blood-based ties - even as llh. the sense of defiance from the narrative is especially stark to me considering that he could have a completely different familial-based life - as a son, brother, and ruler, if his biological family was still around. the narrative also deliberately treats his biological brother as a phantom, replaced with an older brother who he was bonded with neither by blood nor marital ties. on dfs's front, absolutely nothing is to be known about his biological family. his childhood history with the toxic patriarch of his life - who is not even his biological father - was afforded a clean break and closure.
we can keep going on, but that's pretty much the point.
ritualisation is one of the most important things of the confucianism school, especially to the honoring of these social relationships (and the officiating of social roles). the one ceremony/ritual we saw in mlc involving the main characters - or more accurately speaking, came closest to seeing - was the imminent wedding ceremony of dfs and jlq. even in that case, it was premised on non-mutuality with dfs being the unwilling, passive party. (fem-coded dfs? 25 marks.)
and that brings us to the next part.
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2) how mlc repurposes these ties
that particular wedding ceremony gets hijacked by dfs and lxy/llh, and gets turned into an important milestone in their relationship. they consummate - what is on text - their friendship after a long time being more enemies and rivals than friends. it is a clear establishment of the trust they have for each other. and here it is where I circle back to the subject of this post: friendships as marital ties.
in this article, as a part of a feminist, egalitarian reframing of confucianism, there is a proposal for spousal relationships to be reframed as a friendship tie. (this aligns with the interrelatedness of the five ties eg. the ruler-subject mirrors father-son dynamic, with the confucian belief that rulers have an obligation to their subjects alike parents to their own children.) by doing so, it removes the functional, gendered differentiation assigned to marital ties, and shifts it to something equal, and independent of gender. you exalt the value of trust between spouses, instead of basing marital relationships on gendered roles. as such, spouses become more like friends, and conversely, friends can also become more like spouses. (romance not a prerequisite. it has never been about romance anyway.)
given that mlc has repeatedly applied marital motifs to llh and dfs's characters in their joint narratives, this opens up a reading friendships as a marital tie. seeing marriage as a bridge for strangers to become family, marriage in mlc becomes a metaphor for the chosen commitment and mutual trust put in by strangers/friends (non-familial ties) into the becoming of family. the blurring of lines between marital ties and friendship encourages a genuine space of queer experience that goes beyond any pressure for strict labels - of sexuality, and relationships as romantic, sexual, etc etc.
(note: despite the borrowing of a feminist concept, I strongly hesitate to call mlc a feminist story. it's a whole discussion - or debate - on its own. nevertheless, it is definitely a gender-conscious story that lays foundation for a strong queer and egalitarian reading.)
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it is to be noted that it is intended - and also beneficial to take the confucian framework of relational ties beyond face value. the framework offers what it believed to be the most fundamental social relationship dynamics, and sees room for extension and matching to other kinds of relationships (all if not, most). a relationship such as teacher-student, which is outside of the five ties stated, can also mirror the affection of father-son ties, albeit not in a literal and identical way.
speaking of which. fdb and lxy/llh.
indeed they're known by others to be good friends. fdb thinks they're good friends too - insists on it, and puts his best efforts in keeping it that way. but does it really go both ways? if it does not, then can it really still be friendship? my humble take is that, ultimately - weighing in with llh's perspective - this is a relationship that is not so much based on trust, and rather, based on an innate affection that is only unique to family. (in this case, not blood/marital-based but one that was chosen and built aka lxy's relationship with sgd.) in other words, less of a friendship, more of a familial one.
it is a lot clearer considering their relationship from llh's point of view: some brat you never wanted in your life came barging in, and whether he was going to bring any positive effect to your life was secondary to the tranquility - which you have carved for yourself in the past decade - that is so integral to your personhood. no way. but the moment you hear that he's family? well, that changes the game completely. even before learning about fdb being sgd's son (then beginning to take initiative in showing greater acceptance), it is apparent in llh that there was an instinctive resonance with fdb as his shixiong's nephew. (eg. he remarked to his shifu's grave about how alike fdb is to himself.) this is unlike with dfs whom he had taken a much longer time to build trust with. you do not apply trust - aka the quality of friendships - to family. family is something deeper, more instinctive than that. if fdb was never family, I find it hard to imagine given llh's personality, that he would have let some brazen, bratty stranger intrude for that long. (boy invited himself to llh's home, sat himself down eating the owner's dinner and nosing in his cooking abilities!!! ily bb but that was uncalled for 😭)
of course there are many more layers in their relationship. there is a substantial degree of their history as (unwitting) teacher-disciple: fdb is still healthy and alive all thanks to the existence of lxy as a spiritual teacher role model in his life, regardless it being one-sided or not. there is also indeed some part of friendship in it, especially from fdb's point of view. he sees llh as a kindred spirit who he could enjoy a life of freedom with for life. but llh never reciprocates. he knew this was short-lived. and so ultimately, the hierarchical layer of their relationship overpowers the equal one, where llh's treatment of fdb as a nephew/小辈 younger family member and a disciple is the one that sealed the fate of their relationship.
if (blood-based) familial ties are irrelevant in jianghu, then the closest proxy to a father-son relationship in the martial world would be a teacher-disciple relationship. lxy and his shifu are a clear, indisputable example. for fdb and llh, their teacher-disciple tie is murkier and not consistently applied. they were also never ritualised as teacher-disciple, and thus are not teacher-disciple in any official capacity as far as confucian ideas are concerned. yet in crucial moments, it is invoked by llh as a card of authority over fdb to get out of sticky situations with fdb. and there was their final scene together: in a moment of sincerity, llh gives the approval to fdb as his disciple - then entrusting fdb with the secret manual of his techniques, up until his final letter in which fdb was recommended to dfs as a successor to his martial abilities.
in an imperial setting, this would have been the relationship of an emperor and his crown prince that straddles both ruler-subject and father-son ties aka a tag-team of disaster. the teacher has an obligation to nurture his disciple as a successor to himself, and love him like a son too. on the flipside, he holds the final power in their relationship - withholding knowledge and feelings from the younger one. they are only equals in a way a parent-child can be. they are only equals as much as the parent allows. and this is how fdb got left behind in the dust of llh's departure. he was the child treating his parent like a friend, supporting him emotionally and begging to be loved back the same way he loves his parent - but the parent had a lifetime way ahead of him and stayed out of his reach, physically and emotionally.
llh and fdb operate with the trapping of a friendship but have always been family in the core. llh had known that way before fdb did, just like everything else he had known and put out of fdb's reach. because. fdb did not have to know. fdb is different and will forge his own path. and that's a kind of love llh has for him that nobody understands (in fact not even fdb himself) - one that is on a different plane from friendships.
by repurposing the framework of relational ties, mlc showed that the essence of familial relationships aka its intimacy and closeness can be independent from biology and formalised rituals. and it is important to myself for stories to say that people can build close ties and deeply meaningful relationships even without being born or ritualised into any.
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then back to how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self' in confucian worldview: the roles you play in these relationships are intended to define you. there is no 'self' independent from it. while the concept of a social, relational self is fully rooted in reality, being locked into social roles can be a painful way to live - a way that llh has experienced as lxy the sigu sect leader. so, in order for lxy/llh to realise a sense of self that exists outside the norms, it inevitably points to another way that requires a cut from these relationships. that is then the buddhist (or taoist) answer of looking past attachments to the world such as the confucian idea of relationships defining your being. only with a dissolution of a sense of 'self', can there be true liberation.
#莲花楼#mysterious lotus casebook#lhlmeta#lhl#my posts#dihua#can't believe this is how i choose to spend an inordinate amt of my free time 😐😐 being a broken recorder of brainrot 😐#anw the handful of fanghua moments that have moved me are the ones that are about the unbridgeable gap between them as 长辈小辈 as 徒弟师父#(me realising lxy telling fdb 这个徒弟我没有白收 actually drives me nuts)#me: a brainrot-level dihua shipper first and foremost. also me: dedicating more of this meta to fanghua than dihua#about how fanghua's relationship is its own unique kind in the story. equally deep as dihua. just in a wholly different way.#dihua are friends and married and familial. but fanghua is family through and through#-> tl;dr of this meta actually#i just have extremely strong feelings about fanghua as a complicated little family unit.#which is independent of “shipping” FOR ME. but for anyone else though you can make anything out of it.#(gotta admit i'm a bit antsy about posting this and is uncertain how it's gonna be read. bc my reading of fanghua is so specific...well)#anyways. obsessed with dihua appropriating the heteronormative rituals <3#edit: I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT DIFANG aaaAAAGHHHHHHHHHH#but. it's true they're very purely friendship-based i think
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feeling very (remembers i shouldn't make kms jokes) .....not... mhmmm............. postponed i can't think of anything funny
#fra.txt#something deep within that i cannot name made me burst into pathetic sobs while driving to work#a blanket has covered me but it's fine because it's cozy and anyway#can't really think about it. i have to work because i am at my place of work and they pay me to#i AM fine btw#probably just preperiod hormones idk we sigh and keep on going
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jealous max who won’t let himself come off jealous but failing my beloved… an essential headcanon in these times lol. also reassuring daniel…
"You are still coming to Monaco, yes?"
It's the third time in just as many days that Max has asked him this. Over phonecalls that he initiated too. It's- Strange. Normally, getting ahold of him while they're in different places is impossible. Daniel once downloaded fucking discord in a desperate attempt to check his boyfriend really was just too busy on the sim and not like, dying in some corner of their apartment.
"Max, of course I am coming," Daniel tells him. For the third time. Then, because hopefully it will remind Max that he can't exactly get out of it- "It's in my contract, remember?"
Instead of the reasuring 'of course,' Daniel is expecting, followed by a mile a minute play-by-play of his charity race on Sunday, there's silence.
Or, at least no words from Max's mouth. Daniel can hear him breathing, the soft drag and drop of air, the rustling of sheets. It's easy then for Daniel to picture him shifting in their bed, and the familiar ache of missing him blooms in his chest.
"Maxy?"
"You can, of course, probably get out of it," Max says after another pause, voice casual in a way Daniel knows him well enough to have nicknamed his 'fuck the media' voice.
Why do you think you have crashed so many times this year, Max?
"Why would I do that?" Daniel asks with a startled laugh. Then, "come on, don't you miss me?"
Their joke that never quite felt it, not when Daniel has had so many things to miss over the last few years. Max, when they're apart. Family. Driving. The version of himself he used to see mirrored in Max's eyes as he watched Daniel climb up onto that top step.
It's even less funny now, when Max asks like he really is uncertain, "I don't know. Do you miss me?"
"Of course I do, baby," Daniel insists, sitting up from where he's been sprawled out on his back, the shitty pillows of the hotel bed too hard. He doesn't know where this is going, but he knows it's nowhere good.
There's more quiet, just the sound of Max wriggling. If Daniel was there, he could roll himself into Max's lap, hold his wrists above his head. Kiss him, tell him he's not letting him go until he turns that frown upside down.
Over the phone, all he can do is wait. Say his name again, until-
"You just- With Scotty, I think you have more fun. Than with me."
Max's voice is small, but his words knock the breath from Daniel's chest.
"Max," is all he can croak out for a moment, unsure of how to fix this.
Clutting the phone harder with one hand, his other comes stupidly to his mouth, knawing. In his mind, he tries to retrace his steps, to work out how they got here, but he knows he and Scotty have been hanging out a lot. And-
And there's some truth to it, Daniel can't lie. It's just not in the way Max thinks. It's not a question of fun, more-
"Sometimes, I just need- I don't know baby, to get away from it all," he rushes to explain around his bleeding nail bed, hating that all has to mean Max too. "The reminders that I'm not driving. That- That I failed."
Scotty is good for talking about everything but. His one good friend that never came with him to every fucking race, wasn't employed because of his career. Didn't see every crack, tear and scream that way Michael, Blake, Max did.
Somebody he can still be Danny Ric with, when he's sick of being Daniel Ricciardo, washed up and left out to dry.
"You did not fail," Max says, petulant, and Daniel doesn't deserve the smile he can't quite bite back, the way Max defends him even against himself. "You- I love you. I do not want to be something you need to run away from. It- It frightens me, feeling not so close."
Daniel is such a cunt.
"We are close," he insists, desperate, because they have to be. This can't be another thing he loses. "We- I'm going to get in the car and drive home right now, and show you how close we are. I'm going lie on top of you, squash you until we become one person, I- Fuck, Maxy, I'm sorry. I love you too, you- You know that, right, that I love you?"
To his relief, Max lets out a noise that's close to laugh, though it sounds wet like he's crying and Daniel wants to wring his own neck.
Instead, he gets up and starts packing.
"Yes?" Max says, checking. "Even if I remind you of all the bad things."
Daniel shakes his head though Max can't see, pausing where he'd been shoving his wallet into his pocket.
"Maxy, you are all champagne showers," he promises, and sometimes he can lie when he's sure that one day soon it will be the truth. "Champagne showers and Monday lie-ins. Just- Fuck it, I'll drive back in my PJ's, just give me a few hours, yeah?"
"You are coming home?" Max asks, hopeful through his tears.
Daniel so badly wants to kiss him.
"Yeah, baby, I'm coming home."
#*fingers in my ears* lalalalala daniel/scotty i can't hear you#lol this is soooooooo fucking self indulgant it's unreal BUT daniel drives home from the south of france#where i made up scotty is on holiday fyi bc i cant face the insta deepdive required to find out the facts#and has tender deep passionate sex with max because THEY ARE IN LOVE#and i do not want to hear anything to the contrary:P#max/daniel#fic#also maybe the pacing of this is horrible i dont know anyway byyeeee
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