#I can't decide who would be the tour guide and who would be the fainting person. I think aziraphale would be the tour guide most likely but

[twelfth-dykector]

ok it's very goofy:

a protagonist goes to a museum and gets a lesbian tour guide who they think is so hot that they keep asking for more tours of the same place to spend more time with them

and after their twelfth tour (so, twelfth dyke-tour) they ask if they can sit down because they start to feel faint, either because they find the guide so attractive or because they've spent hours walking around a museum.

and the lesbian says 'don't worry you're in safe hands because I'm also a practising doctor' and the protagonist goes 'you mean like a dyketor?' and the tour guide/doctor laughs and then they begin a lifelong friendship which turns into a romantic relationship and they grow old together and have a domestic life watching dr who, and the book is called The Twelfth Dyketor

:]

I AM DYING DEAD DECEASED THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER???!!!?!!??!??!!!!!!?? LIKE EVER EVER EVER?????? ULO YOU'RE MY FAV PERSON EVER RN OMG????????

AND SWEET??!!??????? "they keep asking for more tours of the same place to spend more time with them"!!!!!!!! I SHIP THEM SO HARD ALREADY!!!!!!!!!! AND IM SO HAPPY THEY HAD A LOVELY LIFE TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!

i would absolutely read this as a proper book. its brilliant

[ghoultrifle]

Ghouls at the Airport

To preface these silly hcs I want to say that taking the ghouls through an airport is a life-changing experience, in that it will take 10 years off your life span. It's not for the faint-hearted, but alas here is what happens when the ghouls (the characters, obviously) have to take a plane to their next show!

Also consider this a 100 follower special !! Thanks to everyone who decided I was entertaining enough to follow, I love you all <3

Dew is on a leash. That man simply cannot be trusted not to lurch at strangers or run off when he hears the roar of a plane engine. They found out the hard way on his first tour as a water ghoul. They were on the tarmac, about to board the plane and Dew ran off to cosy up in the engines. The band nearly had to tour without a bassist that year...

(I take absolutely no credit for the idea of ghouls wearing these, whoever said it feel free to credit yourself I'm sorry I can't remember you!) Edit: @jesusbutbetterrr big brain monkey bag thoughts

Aurora gets overstimulated really easily (can you blame her?). Mountain lent her his big ear defenders once and she's been hooked ever since. She claimed the camo defenders as hers, even though they don't sit right on her tiny head, she loves them dearly! Mountain had to buy a new pair, but he doesn't mind. He's happy if his pack are happy.

Aether and Mountain are straight through bag drop, security, the lot. They're old ghouls and have the routine down by now. They know the faster they make it through security, the more time they have to sneak off to the disgusting airport toilets for some even more disgusting airport sex.

Cumulus is already high on half a bottle of sleeping pills. She gets restless on the plane so doses up early on. Unfortunately that means she is completely out of it and has to be guided around entirely by the others. She was once put in charge of Dewdrop's leash and, yet again, they nearly had to tour without a lead guitarist.

Cirrus is basically unconscious for the entire journey through the airport, curled up on a luggage trolley being driven by Dew. Travelling really tires her out and the pack don't want to get on her bad side so they leave her be.

Rain is incredibly spoiled. The whole pack know that if you set him loose on his own to catch a flight, he wouldn't make it past the front doors. He's been coddled by everyone since he was summoned, and he lives for it, he never has to lift a finger. Swiss, ever the gentleman, always carries his bags and holds Rain's shoes when they go through security. It's just an excuse to reenact the slipper scene from Cinderella

Phantom tries to order an insanely expensive Starbucks in the airport (it's just a hot chocolate with a marshmallow, why is it £4?!) but misses them calling his human name "Why would anyone name themselves 'Tom'?"

Swiss has a four-wheeler suitcase. He loves to sit on it and propel himself around like a toddler. In fact, the pack bought him an adult-sized one of these after he kept breaking everyone else's bags:

[fictaetion]

SAUDADE

Min Yoongi Imagine

Part 1

Saudade: Saudade is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one cares for and/or loves.

28 October 2020

Hello it's me Min Yoongi. I am still getting used to this. Writing about myself and talking about my everyday life to you. Not that it constitutes much, just basic things like eating, playing video games, working on music and playing with Holly. Oh have i told you yet i have a dog named Holly.

I was resentful about this at first knowing that I hadn't told Y/n about this. But further as I continued it I felt good. This way it is so  much better rather than meeting outside everyday.

Imagine getting caught by paparazzi, oh my I can't even imagine how much of a scandal it would be. Now that we have landed on the topic of paparazzi I somewhere think it's because of them that I have started to become anxious about going outside. 

I remember when I talked to you during our first meeting I have never felt so relieved talking to someone except Y/n. By the way, I am planning on telling her soon.

 I really can't hide it anymore. Is it wrong to do this while she is gone. What will she think of me? 

Okay this is good, i feel this is all I wanted to talk about today. Bye, hope to see you soon.

To, Kang Soowon

 

Looking over at the digital clock sitting on the desk, which displayed 6:00 pm indicating it was already evening. The shimmering orange hues shone in the apartment acting as a proof. 

Hitting the send button he relaxed back into his chair and stared up at the ceiling. The entire house was peaceful with just a few sounds from the cars passing by and Holly's barks. 

He had grown accustomed to these sounds for over a week now. These were the only things that made him feel he was not completely alone. His prominent source of chitter chatter and chaos had been out for a  week now. 

She had gone on a trek with bangtan as the only representative for the couple. On the other hand all the members had accompanied their wives or girlfriends. The youngest one Jungkook had also brought his daughter along with them for this trip. 

Funny how the maknae was the first one to be a father out of all of them. Even the eldest was married and had a stable married life now and following his footsteps were his younger brothers. 

Soon Taehyung was also going to propose to his long time girlfriend. Now the only one left was Yoongi. Yes he was dating you but that's it. There were no advances in the relationship yet. 

You both knew you loved each other dearly and had also confessed to each other previously. Not in a very romantic manner of course, it took place when Y/n presented Yoongi a plate of spaghetti which she made all by herself from scratch. 

Even though it was not the very best in regards to taste , he admired his girlfriend’s hard work and the love she had put into it. Her eyes focused on his face just to get a nod of approval from Yoongi. 

It wasn’t bad considering it was her first time making it. He looked up to give an appreciating remark to Y/n when her face lightly covered with flour came into his sight. 

Oh how cute she looked. But she was so eager to get feedback from him that she did not realize that he was staring at her face with a slight smile. 

“It’s good, really good!” Yoongi said, taking another bite out of the spaghetti and picking one bite for her to taste.

A frown formed on her face as soon it landed in her mouth. 

She started to mutter how bad and bland it tasted and asked Yoongi how he even managed to chomp down the whole plate, literally taking the last bite. “Why do you even bother eating this let alone finish the whole thing,why?” 

“Because I love you” Y/n’s constant emphasis of why and how seemed to have done its work subconsciously on Yoongi’s mind. When the reality of what had been spilled clicked both of them, their heads instantly turned to each other to take a glance at their partners faces. 

Both of them were trying to find any hints of cringe or “oh it came out by accident” kind of look on their face. But all they could decipher the stunned and honest looks they had.

”You love me Yoongi?” she asked him just to make sure that those words were not just tongue slips. This is the time Yoongi says it, say those words out loud to her, the words that you had been practicing secretly in the bathroom for weeks and even when working. 

Partly also because of Seokjin’s proposal video which he had decided to keep as an inspiration when it would be his time to do it. But alas! look at the situation where they were in both in their pyjamas in their not so clean house a complete 180 degree of his hyungs proposal. 

Not over candle light dinner but the dining table in his kitchen. Well now it's done and there is no turning back. His girlfriend’s voice broke his chain of thoughts when she presented the same question to her. 

Smiling he looked up at her, still a bit nervous but just wanted to get it out. “ Yes I do, I love you alot and I mean it, even if it's not the best place and situation to confess this but it's a fact” he looked up at her face to see what she had to say. 

Will she accept his feelings and reciprocate or will it just get overlooked?. “It's okay if… if you don't like me back I-'' before he could continue saying anything further her tiny palms were covering his face, thumb stroking his cheekbone.

Her face expresses a broad range of emotions whether it be happiness, excitement, but the most prominent one adoration and respect for her lover.” 

I love you too Yoongi, I love you too” with this a stream of tears flowed from her eyes. Yoongi was overjoyed and over the moon knowing that both of them were in the same place and mindset in their relationship. 

From now on it was just moving forward and not looking back. Both of them scooted close to each looking forward to kiss each other but before yoongi could even do anything Y/n turned her face around and yoongi’s lips landed on her cheek making her release a huge laughter which erupted and echoed throughout the room. 

“Yaah Y/n you better get back here and give me my kiss”Yoongi said with puckered lips. “Holly your appa finally said it he confessed to me” you said looking towards the dog you had been holding in your hand. 

He started to bark, wagging his tail at you, definitely not understanding the words you said but felt the emotions you radiated through your facial expressions. Yoongi felt his heart at ease, pulse lowering down and a surge of easiness rising in him, this is all he wanted and now finally he has what he had dreamt of, a stable life, a loving partner right in front of his eyes. 

“Psst Y/n” he called her trying to make eye contact. She stopped whatever she was busy with and looked at him and a tint covered her cheeks with a confident smile on her lips hearing the words “I love you” falling silently, inaudible but you could make out what he was saying.

You winked at him and muttered those same words ”I love you too”. 

The doorbell at their apartment rang making yoongi fall back into reality. He quickly understood it must have been the delivery guy which came with his lunch. 

He quickly took in the order and paid him his money. Yoongi had been ordering from the same restaurant you had been to. He even insisted for the same delivery guy knowing very well that he might get triggered if he saw anybody else. 

He was in the most vulnerable stage of his health right now. Knew he had to do everything in a wise manner or else the situation would completely turn 180 degree. 

He placed down the parcel on his table and started eating his food. He was in the middle of glancing through his media when a picture of you and all the boys popped up on his phone. There were a bunch of people standing around you guys, probably their fans and everyone was smiling at the camera. 

His eyes were only focused on you looking at your smile and your jacket clad figure, but besides you a guy who was intently gazing at you and smiling just by looking at you unlike others who were looking at the camera. 

Yoongi wasted no time to search for his profile and understood that it was your guys tour guide. He couldn't help the insecurity which was building up in his mind. 

He always knew you had an outgoing personality and would befriend everyone around you and yoongi on the other hand was a completely opposite person. Would only talk to the group of few people he trusted and never intended to know any other people the only exclusion for work related meetings. 

It's always a distraction to have too many people in your life he would say and firmly believed it too. The question of would you leave him for somebody else or would  you find someone much better than him would constantly go through his mind and now with his condition it increased even more. Suddenly he received a call which broke his chain of thoughts. 

The screen displayed the callers id: Kang Soowon. He instantly smiled looking at the call and picked up in hopes of clearing his mind by talking to her. It felt good to have someone around to talk to.

Few minutes had passed of him still talking on the phone, afew whispers and faint laughs could be heard from him. “Yes, even though I think I should let this all go, I could become a better person and have a better life I guess, thank you so much for helping me realize that Miss Soowon."

Hope I see you soon at the same place. Good night” he placed his phone down on the counter and was about to get up when a feminine voice came from behind him”Yoongi?” he instantaneously turned around to look at the source of a very familiar voice.

[leelee10898]

Half on a baby: Leo & Alicia- part 1

This is from the Cordonians gone wild AU, a collaborative effort by @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @cocomaxley @riseandshinelittleblossom and myself. Read our other crazy adventures HERE

Leo walked into his and Alicia's quarters after a long conference call. He had been contacted about joining a European motocross tour that started in a couple of weeks. Leo had been itching to get back out there, Alicia knew it and encouraged him to take the call and they would figure out a plan. “Hey babe.” he leaned down kissing her cheek and down on the couch next to her. “So, how was it?” she turned to face her husband. “Not bad. Tour is a short one 3 weeks, 9 races and and a championship.” Alicia sensed the hesitation in his voice. “Ok, what's wrong?” He sat up running his hand over his face. “I don't think I can be away from you that long.” she got up sitting sideways on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Leo, this is what you love, you cant let being away from me hold you back from your dreams.” “I enjoy it yes, but you are what I love.” he paused a moment. “come with me.”

“you want me to come with you? Is that allowed?” “You're my wife, of course its allowed. Besides, you'll give me more motivation to win.” he grinned. “ok, I'll go.” Leo's lips captured hers immediately before she pulled away jumping up. “Leo come on, we need to get ready. We have dinner with Stef and Max tonight.” “that's tonight love?” he gripped her hips pulling her closer. “Stef needs my help with dinner. The words can't feed the huntin dogs came out.” leo gave her a puzzled look and sighed “ok, let's get ready.. but later on.” he stood pulling her fleshed against him. “I know.”

They arrived at Maxwell and Stephanie's, Maxwell opened the door holding Evie “Hey guys come in. Alicia, Stefs in the kitchen, um shes been cursing alot.” Alicia nodded and headed towards the kitchen. “Hey cutie.” Leo cooed. “Awe thanks Leo, I'm glad to see you too.” Maxwell grinned, prompting an eye roll from Leo. “So since the girls are cooking, we gotta entertain Evie.” “ok sounds good to me.” Leo shrugged as they walked into the living room.

Alicia and stephanie made way into the kitchen. “Did you put the skillet in the oven for 10 minutes?” Stephanie nodded grabbing her oven mitts plucking the cast iron skillet from the hot oven. Alicia drizzled a generous amount of olive oil into the hit pan and gave it a swirl, coating the pan. “ok stef, season the meat with the salt, pepper and garlic.” she instructed. They placed the pork loin in the skillet and placed it in the oven. “Thanks again for coming over and helping, I love pork tenderloin but I can't cook for nothing.” Stephanie grinned pouring two glasses of wine. “No problem, it's not that hard. Trick is not to over cook it. Were going to flip it about 10 to 15 minutes in. Once the Internal temperature reaches 165, we should be set.”

Alicia took a swig from her wine. The two settled into an easy conversation, Alicia's eyes kept darting out to the living room, watching Leo coo and fawn all over evie made her heart soar. "So Stef, when did you know you were ready to start trying for evie?" stephanie snorted. "Trying? We didn't exactly try...don't get me wrong, by any means. She is my whole world, but definitely an oopsie baby." "But you wanted kids right? Did you and Maxwell ever talk about it?" Alicia took a sip of her wine. "We did. We knew we wanted to have a couple someday. And we got really lucky with Ev. She's the best little baby. If she not asleep she's happy. Unless she's hungry, which is an easy enough fix."

The timer went off, Alicia instructed Stephanie flip the meat, while the two continue their conversation. "How was being pregnant? Was it really weird?"

"absolutely. But it was also beautiful. The idea that I was carrying around this little piece of the love that Max and I share and one day she was gonna be walkin and talkin..it was really special. What is with all the questions, Alicia? You got a pork loin in *your* oven?!" Alicia choked on the sip of wine she just drank "What?! No. No loins in this oven.. I still have my IUD in." "For now.” Stephanie smirked. “I kinda figured you two'd be the next set of squad parents. What with all the goo-goo eyes Leo has for Evie. I swear the man thinks she hung the moon and he isn't even her daddy." She chuckled.

"He's making my ovaries explode right now. I have an appointment next week and I'm debating having my IUD removed." Alicia gazed at her husband holding evie. "Have you talked to him about that?" "Ahh, well... not really. We haven't actually talked about having kids. Well, not unless you count the time Anitah and I played a joke on Leo and Liam, and said we were pregnant with triplets... he fainted."

"He's ready girl. Look at him! And he can change a diaper better than Maxwell. Remind me to have Leo give him a few pointers." "Yeah, maybe you're right. I guess we should have the talk soon huh?"

Leo sat on the on the couch filling Maxwell in on his upcoming motocross tour. "Hey man, my arms getting tired. You maybe wanna hold her?" Maxwell arched his brow at Leo. "Yup, hand her over." Leo eagerly held his hands out. "She's like the worlds cutest bobble head right now, so make sure you support her here." Maxwell placed her in Leo's arms. "Maxwell I got this.” he faces Evie and coos “Don't I? Yes I do. Uncle Leo is going to spoil you rotten, huh my little goose." "How silly of me, Maverick. I should've known you would know how to handle a lady." Leo smirked "no matter how small, uncle Leo just has a way with the ladies.” he looked up “By the way Beaumont she's not allowed to date, like ever." "I support that decision, man I really do. Unless..." he Grins mischievously "a certain fair-haired former Playboy Prince decided to have a son. I think I'd be okay with the two of them together."

"Who me?" Leo shakes his head smirking "Could you imagine me as a dad? let me ask you Max, what's it like?” Maxwell's face lit up. "It's the most amazing feeling in the world! She's so cute and I get to feed her and snuggle her and wipe her little tushie. I haven't found one thing about it that I don't enjoy...except maybe Stef being crabby in the mornings. Ya know cuz she doesn't sleep through the night yet, but we're learning. Aren't we, Tulip? I could totally see you as a father. In fact I think you and Alicia should start trying right now! I mean if you hurry up, this second by the time your son is born Evie will only be one year older than him. They could totally make that relationship work."

Leo laughs "Your a mess Beaumont. You know, between you and me, I have been wanting to knock Alicia up. We haven't exactly had the kids conversation and I'm not sure how she would feel about it." "Haven't you noticed those girls watching us instead of the food? She's practically drooling over the thought of watching you rock her son to sleep. Trust me. All of the girls are ready for a baby. I hear them all goo-gooing and ga-gaing over Evie. They've all had baby fever since Stef got pregnant, whether they want to admit it or not." "You do seem to have the inside track on them. Thanks man, I think Alicia and I need to have a talk tonight."

“Alright guys time for dinner.” Alicia called out. Leo handed Evie back to max as he laid her in her swing. They sat down making their plates. Maxwell danced in his seat “mmmm this is really good Alicia. Stef you paid attention right? So you can make this again.” “Thanks Max but I can't take credit for this one, it was all Stef. I just guided her.” Alicia grinned. “ Hm...I'm really impressed, Rosebud." Stephanie rolls her eyes at her husband. "no I'm serious, baby. I can actually chew this meat." He let out a hardy laugh " joking aside, it's delicious, Red. Really." “Yes I agree, this is good Stephanie.” Leo Complimented. “ Aw come on you guys are making me blush.” Stephanie's cheeks flushed red.

They finished up dinner when Evie started to fuss. “oh it's time for her bottle and bed.” Stephanie looked st the clock. Maxwell jumped up “I got it Rose bud, Leo wanna help?” Leo nodded and the two scooped Evie up and headed towards the nursery. “Maxwell laid her down on the changing table “ Hey can you change her diaper while I grab her jammies?” leo agreed while max hunted down her pjs and grabbed her bottle. Once she was dressed he sat in the rocking chair, humming a soft lullaby as he fed her the bottle. Her tiny finger grasped his large one. Leo watched his friend put his child to sleep, he couldn't help but smile, he wanted that, he just hoped Alicia did too.

Maxwell lifted evie to his shoulder giving her a few Pat's on the back, she let out a healthy burp. He dabbed her little lips of the excess milk that dribbled out and walked her over to the crib. He gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. “good night my sweet little tulip, daddy loves you. I'll see you in a few hours.” He flicked the light off as the two backed out of the room slowly. “so um Stef and I have been talking wanted to ask you. Would you be Evies Godfather?” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Leo's eyes went wide. “really? You want me to be her Godfather?” “yeah, your one of my best friends and you love evie or goose, like shes your own.. so what do you say?” “Maxwell, I would be honored to.” the two shared a quick hug and headed out to the living room.

“He said yes.” Maxwell squealed. Stephanie grinned “You knew he would Maxwell.” “seriously guys, thank you. I love that little girl.” Leo hugged stephanie and looked towards Alicia. “we should really be heading out, thanks for dinner guys. It was good.” Alicia hugged Stephanie and Maxwell and they headed out. Once they arrived back at the palace they made their way to their quarters.

Alicia changed into a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top, Leo changed into his sweat pants and tossed his shirt in the hamper and climbed Into bed, sitting back against the headboard. Alicia walked out of the bathroom rubbing lotion on her hands and arms. “I want to put a baby in you.” Leo blurted out, stopping Alicia dead in her tracks. “Well damn, I guess this is a good time to tell you I was thinking of having my IUD removed next week at my appointment.” she chuckled. She sat down in the bed, Leo grabbed her hands. “You want to start trying for a baby love?” “Yeah, I've been thinking about it alot lately, and seeing you with evie tonight..” she was cut off by his lips capturing hers. “I can't wait. You know the best part about getting pregnant?” he grinned “No, what?

“The practice.” he swiftly yanked her down to the bed, climbing on top of her. “I say we get some practice in right now.”

Two weeks later Leo and the guys were enjoying the day golfing. Drake sat in the golf cart, sipping from his flask. “How come you never play with us Drake?” Maxwell frowned. “swatting balls with sticks, eh. I'd rather just enjoy the fresh air.” Drake waves him off. Liam placed his ball, he picked his club and stepped up to the ball, getting read to swing. “I'm gonna knock Alicia up.” Leo announced. Liam mid swing let go of the club, it flew through the air smashing through someone's cart. Liam tried to compose himself as he turned to face his brother.

“You...you’re what?! Does Alicia know this?”

“of course she does. Do you really think I would get her pregnant without discussing it with her first?” Leo rolled his eyes. “Oh...um....that’s great, Leo!” liam rubbed the back of his neck. "You want to have a baby? The playboy prince, wants a baby. Do you know what a baby is, Leo?"

"yes Rashad I know what a baby is. I change a mean diaper, just ask Maxwell."

“Yes!! I knew it. I'm so excited.” Maxwell squealed as he broke out in a happy dance. "Well I'll be damned. That woman has got you whipped." Rashad "I'm not whipped, you're whipped." Leo defended, a smirk forming on his face. "Yeah we're all whipped. We should probably stop denying that now." Rashad sighed, the rest shaking their head in agreeance. “I hate to tell you guys, but you're next.. All of you.” Leo chuckled. Rashad snorted "we aren't even married yet, man. Slow your roll." Drake grinned walking up shaking Leo's hand “Congrats man.”

The girls sat at lunch enjoying a few mimosas before their food arrived. A lady walked in walking past the ladies, holding an adorable little boy. “aweee.” they said in unison. “Guess I better Enjoy these while I can.” Alicia took a big sip of her mimosa. Genevieve gave her a sideways look. “What the hell does that mean?” Anitah snapped her head in Alicia's Direction. "I umm had my IUD removed last week." She coolly sipped her mimosa. “Forrrr?!” Anitah squealed sure she knew where this was going. Genevieve's eyes flew wide open. "Oh my god! You guys are going to start trying?"

"Yes, we are."

“You are?!” Anitah squealed a little to loud (Shit, shit, shit) she silently said to herself, knowing her husband was now going to start pressing her. "I knew it! I knew you were itchin to put a bun in that oven!" Stephanie grinned, thinking back to their dinner. "That's great, Alicia! Did you, um, tell Leo that you're going to try?" Gen took a bite of a breadstick. "More like he bluntly told me he wanted to put a baby in me." "This was HIS idea? Hell has frozen over. What...How...Why?” Genevieve choked on the breadstick. "It had been on my mind, but yeah he pretty much decided for us."

"I'm just shocked. I thought Leo would be the last of the guys to want kids. I mean Liam and Drake are the two softest ones. I expected them to be first. Don't get me wrong, I think that's amazing. I'm really happy for you guys. I'm just not drinking the water anytime soon." She laughed. “I'm so happy for you guys.” pam reached out giving her hand a gentle squeeze before turning away slightly blushing.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure that I won't be alone on the Preggo train long. Besides, it can take up to a year possibly to conceive after removing the IUD. So I have some time." "yeah doctors can say that all they want, but I'm telling you girl life finds a way. I was on the pill and yet now we have Evie" stef shrugged. "Not it" Genevieve shouted out. “Jesus Stef, don't let Leo hear you say that, I'll never get him off me.” the girls all looked at her knowingly “ok, more than he already is.” Anitah awkwardly giggled and chugged the rest of her mimosa. “Choo Choo, you’re on your own for now.” she mumbled, red in the face.

Alicia walked in their quarters after lunch with the girls, to find Leo standing Naked in the bedroom. Her hand flew over her mouth. “I thought we could get a little baby making in before my next meeting.” he grinned. Alicia shook her head and giggled “You are really enjoying this aren't you?” “Oh more than you know love. Now, come here.”

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