fictaetion

[fictaetion]

*F A D E D M E M O R I E S*

                            @fictatetions

Never in my entire life would I have thought that I could see something so beautiful, so pure.I live for you, to see you everyday but somehow  can't get to hold you and I know you want to be held by someone like their life depends on you. 

But this will change soon my love. You will get what you always wanted.

You have no idea how much I love you, the way my heart flutters when I see you everytime. 

The way my head starts making scenarios of us together whenever I think of you. From the very first time I saw you, at the park plucking a few dandelions. The Dandelions as gentle as you are. 

So I went ahead and picked it up of course after you left and held it close to my heart wherever i go. It reminds me of you.

After that day i spent hours searching for you in the crowds determined to feel the same fuzzy feeling after i saw you for the very first time. I stopped breathing the moment I saw you again and decided to never let go.

After that time i have never been in a better place in my entire life because i had you with me all the time. I remember everything, our first date, me sneaking into your room and I never intend to forget this. 

Your features are still ingrained in my brain. The way your hair dangles on your face even when the slightest of breeze passes through them. I love to tuck them behind your ears just to get that one smile, one shy smile from you. 

The way you flutter your eyelashes when you want a kiss from me, I fell for that all the time. Remember the way i grazed your cheeks when you had returned home crying from work, their feeling still lingers on the pad of my thumbs. 

Our first kiss when I felt your lips on mine for the first time I made a promise to myself that there will never will be a day where i would let a sob escape from them. 

You still hold those memories too right? Not just the happy ones but the sour ones too. 

Our first argument that we had where we did not talk for days. Believe me I regret each and every ounce of it. But not anymore, as you are here right in front of my eyes.

I see you right now and I am trying so hard not to let any tears escape from my eyes. You look so breathtaking in your wedding dress which is white, bedazzled but those diamonds fail  to match the shine that your eyes hold. 

I see you walking down the aisle, extremely nervous hands trembling as you hold the bridal bouquet containing dandelions. Seems like you still love to gift these flowers to your loved ones. 

No wonder you present these to me till date. Your thoughts have surrounded my mind so much that I forgot you are already here standing right in front of the altar ready to take your vows. 

Just like you I am extremely nervous,an unexplainable pain in my heart  feels like it could shatter at any moment just  like the day it did when I died in your arms. 

The very last image that  i saw was of you crying when i breathed my last. I was afraid as to how would you cope up and.it was even more difficult for me to let go of those strings of your thought from my memories. But i eventually did.

You complained and sobbed for days as to how i left you all alone. But believe me i never left i am still present here in your heart.

I exist because you do, all of my memories are still existing because you want them too. When you would talk to yourself after I left I wanted to take you in my arms so badly to comfort you and plant kisses on your forehead but I couldn't. 

I know you wanted kids, you wanted to grow old with me but I am sorry, I am sorry as I couldn't keep the promises and broke every single one of them.

If it wasn't because of this heart I would be there standing at the altar kissing you and becoming your husband. 

But best believe me I watch you everyday from heaven, fighting with gods for reducing my life span. 

But I am at peace now knowing that you have someone that will look after you and love you in the same manner as i did. 

Please be happy, save a corner of your heart for our memories. I wish  I could be the one owning all of the place but that's definitely not possible, is it?. 

Grow and cherish with my memories instead of letting them hold you back. Have many babies with your husband just as you wanted too and love your family with your whole heart. 

Oh and one more thing before i take my momentary leave please keep on visiting my grave with those same exact flowers, same love but not those eyes filled with sadness, the ones filled with strength.                                    

"Our memories might have faded but our love will last forever"

[fictaetion]

SAUDADE

Min Yoongi Imagine

Part 1

Saudade: Saudade is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one cares for and/or loves.

28 October 2020

Hello it's me Min Yoongi. I am still getting used to this. Writing about myself and talking about my everyday life to you. Not that it constitutes much, just basic things like eating, playing video games, working on music and playing with Holly. Oh have i told you yet i have a dog named Holly.

I was resentful about this at first knowing that I hadn't told Y/n about this. But further as I continued it I felt good. This way it is so  much better rather than meeting outside everyday.

Imagine getting caught by paparazzi, oh my I can't even imagine how much of a scandal it would be. Now that we have landed on the topic of paparazzi I somewhere think it's because of them that I have started to become anxious about going outside. 

I remember when I talked to you during our first meeting I have never felt so relieved talking to someone except Y/n. By the way, I am planning on telling her soon.

 I really can't hide it anymore. Is it wrong to do this while she is gone. What will she think of me? 

Okay this is good, i feel this is all I wanted to talk about today. Bye, hope to see you soon.

To, Kang Soowon

 

Looking over at the digital clock sitting on the desk, which displayed 6:00 pm indicating it was already evening. The shimmering orange hues shone in the apartment acting as a proof. 

Hitting the send button he relaxed back into his chair and stared up at the ceiling. The entire house was peaceful with just a few sounds from the cars passing by and Holly's barks. 

He had grown accustomed to these sounds for over a week now. These were the only things that made him feel he was not completely alone. His prominent source of chitter chatter and chaos had been out for a  week now. 

She had gone on a trek with bangtan as the only representative for the couple. On the other hand all the members had accompanied their wives or girlfriends. The youngest one Jungkook had also brought his daughter along with them for this trip. 

Funny how the maknae was the first one to be a father out of all of them. Even the eldest was married and had a stable married life now and following his footsteps were his younger brothers. 

Soon Taehyung was also going to propose to his long time girlfriend. Now the only one left was Yoongi. Yes he was dating you but that's it. There were no advances in the relationship yet. 

You both knew you loved each other dearly and had also confessed to each other previously. Not in a very romantic manner of course, it took place when Y/n presented Yoongi a plate of spaghetti which she made all by herself from scratch. 

Even though it was not the very best in regards to taste , he admired his girlfriend’s hard work and the love she had put into it. Her eyes focused on his face just to get a nod of approval from Yoongi. 

It wasn’t bad considering it was her first time making it. He looked up to give an appreciating remark to Y/n when her face lightly covered with flour came into his sight. 

Oh how cute she looked. But she was so eager to get feedback from him that she did not realize that he was staring at her face with a slight smile. 

“It’s good, really good!” Yoongi said, taking another bite out of the spaghetti and picking one bite for her to taste.

A frown formed on her face as soon it landed in her mouth. 

She started to mutter how bad and bland it tasted and asked Yoongi how he even managed to chomp down the whole plate, literally taking the last bite. “Why do you even bother eating this let alone finish the whole thing,why?” 

“Because I love you” Y/n’s constant emphasis of why and how seemed to have done its work subconsciously on Yoongi’s mind. When the reality of what had been spilled clicked both of them, their heads instantly turned to each other to take a glance at their partners faces. 

Both of them were trying to find any hints of cringe or “oh it came out by accident” kind of look on their face. But all they could decipher the stunned and honest looks they had.

”You love me Yoongi?” she asked him just to make sure that those words were not just tongue slips. This is the time Yoongi says it, say those words out loud to her, the words that you had been practicing secretly in the bathroom for weeks and even when working. 

Partly also because of Seokjin’s proposal video which he had decided to keep as an inspiration when it would be his time to do it. But alas! look at the situation where they were in both in their pyjamas in their not so clean house a complete 180 degree of his hyungs proposal. 

Not over candle light dinner but the dining table in his kitchen. Well now it's done and there is no turning back. His girlfriend’s voice broke his chain of thoughts when she presented the same question to her. 

Smiling he looked up at her, still a bit nervous but just wanted to get it out. “ Yes I do, I love you alot and I mean it, even if it's not the best place and situation to confess this but it's a fact” he looked up at her face to see what she had to say. 

Will she accept his feelings and reciprocate or will it just get overlooked?. “It's okay if… if you don't like me back I-'' before he could continue saying anything further her tiny palms were covering his face, thumb stroking his cheekbone.

Her face expresses a broad range of emotions whether it be happiness, excitement, but the most prominent one adoration and respect for her lover.” 

I love you too Yoongi, I love you too” with this a stream of tears flowed from her eyes. Yoongi was overjoyed and over the moon knowing that both of them were in the same place and mindset in their relationship. 

From now on it was just moving forward and not looking back. Both of them scooted close to each looking forward to kiss each other but before yoongi could even do anything Y/n turned her face around and yoongi’s lips landed on her cheek making her release a huge laughter which erupted and echoed throughout the room. 

“Yaah Y/n you better get back here and give me my kiss”Yoongi said with puckered lips. “Holly your appa finally said it he confessed to me” you said looking towards the dog you had been holding in your hand. 

He started to bark, wagging his tail at you, definitely not understanding the words you said but felt the emotions you radiated through your facial expressions. Yoongi felt his heart at ease, pulse lowering down and a surge of easiness rising in him, this is all he wanted and now finally he has what he had dreamt of, a stable life, a loving partner right in front of his eyes. 

“Psst Y/n” he called her trying to make eye contact. She stopped whatever she was busy with and looked at him and a tint covered her cheeks with a confident smile on her lips hearing the words “I love you” falling silently, inaudible but you could make out what he was saying.

You winked at him and muttered those same words ”I love you too”. 

The doorbell at their apartment rang making yoongi fall back into reality. He quickly understood it must have been the delivery guy which came with his lunch. 

He quickly took in the order and paid him his money. Yoongi had been ordering from the same restaurant you had been to. He even insisted for the same delivery guy knowing very well that he might get triggered if he saw anybody else. 

He was in the most vulnerable stage of his health right now. Knew he had to do everything in a wise manner or else the situation would completely turn 180 degree. 

He placed down the parcel on his table and started eating his food. He was in the middle of glancing through his media when a picture of you and all the boys popped up on his phone. There were a bunch of people standing around you guys, probably their fans and everyone was smiling at the camera. 

His eyes were only focused on you looking at your smile and your jacket clad figure, but besides you a guy who was intently gazing at you and smiling just by looking at you unlike others who were looking at the camera. 

Yoongi wasted no time to search for his profile and understood that it was your guys tour guide. He couldn't help the insecurity which was building up in his mind. 

He always knew you had an outgoing personality and would befriend everyone around you and yoongi on the other hand was a completely opposite person. Would only talk to the group of few people he trusted and never intended to know any other people the only exclusion for work related meetings. 

It's always a distraction to have too many people in your life he would say and firmly believed it too. The question of would you leave him for somebody else or would  you find someone much better than him would constantly go through his mind and now with his condition it increased even more. Suddenly he received a call which broke his chain of thoughts. 

The screen displayed the callers id: Kang Soowon. He instantly smiled looking at the call and picked up in hopes of clearing his mind by talking to her. It felt good to have someone around to talk to.

Few minutes had passed of him still talking on the phone, afew whispers and faint laughs could be heard from him. “Yes, even though I think I should let this all go, I could become a better person and have a better life I guess, thank you so much for helping me realize that Miss Soowon."

Hope I see you soon at the same place. Good night” he placed his phone down on the counter and was about to get up when a feminine voice came from behind him”Yoongi?” he instantaneously turned around to look at the source of a very familiar voice.

[fictaetion]

ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT

Hoseok Imagine

A scoop of everyday life of a financially struggling couple with a baby. A bit of angst with a happy ending.

@fictaetions

The freezing weather of the night did no better to your state after finishing an 8 hr shift at a cafe. 

The constant ache in your legs after standing for so long, the chappy skin of your hands, which exhibited that they have not been pampered enough by a manicure, and the chaos swirling in your head after registering every nagging customer’s questions and complaints were more than enough to make you look even more worn out keep aside the stains on your clothes from your activities in the kitchen.

Some of the people from the crowd give you a pitied stare but most of them a disgusted one. Well, what do you expect from them, the so-called people from the rich neighborhood whose accessories were enough to make you feel poor then you already were. 

Ignoring all of these you still walked past them proudly knowing that this is what you had to do to pay your bills and bring bread to the table for your family. 

Whilst registering the summary of your day in your head a call made you step out of your thoughts, a call from the daycare. 

You glanced back at your wristwatch to know that it was already past 7 pm and you were still miles away from the daycare. 

Cursing yourself of how careless of a mother you could be you decided to quicken your pace and sprint towards the place. Within no time you have reached the daycare thanks to the run which now exhausted you even more. 

You quickly approached towards the door, to see just your kid your Seojun left for being picked up. The sight of him being left alone and playing all by himself babbling a few words broke you down always.

You were always the last one to pick him up. Sometimes you also heard a few mums gossip about how careless of a mom you were. But you always decided to ignore them knowing none of those accusations were true.

“You are late once again” the nanny called you out and the frustration visible on her face. She had given out a few warnings to you already before when you were late but you always apologized and asked for another chance.

Making sure to pay her every time you went past the daycare's time limit. 

"I am sorry, I took some extra work from co-workers to get a few extra money that’s when I lost the track of time" you constantly. 

You could see your reflection in the white reflective floor marble while giving off excuses, oh what apathetic site. This reflection even if it was blur sometimes made you question your life choices very clearly. 

Was getting married at this age a good decision when you were just starting your career. A person like you who had just started exploring the everyday struggles of the city was it good to leap off into whole family life. 

You never regretted your baby but were you capable enough of giving it a standard life. The day of you getting fired from your agency was still stuck in your head. 

But were they wrong, absolutely no who would hire a new recruitee who had barely spent a month in the office and got pregnant? They would have to think practically because they knew later you would ask for maternity leaves and all sorts of leaves for the baby. Instead of you, they could hire a new person. 

“It’s okay I get it, no mum would want to leave such a small baby behind. But please try to understand even I have to get back to my family so just be on time” she said with the most pitiest face but you were glad you at least got off the hook.

After thanking her you quickly picked up the diaper bag which had ‘Seojun’ written on it and went ahead to pick him up. Oh, how you would love to see the sight every second. Your kid reaching out to you happily kicking off the blanket. The drools and fist covered in saliva will be worried about later.

Soon you were on your usual route to your way back home with Seojun strapped around you, his bag, your purse covering you. If anyone ever wanted to look at a walking mess you were ready to present yourself. 

Back you were playing with him probably trying to fulfill your motherly heart’s demand of not spending enough time with your baby. You stood in front of the red light waiting to reach another side of it when a sight crossed your eyes. 

A mum with her baby all dolled up and the kid clearly in an expensive stroller. Ahh, how you wish you could spend the same amount of money on seojun and time too. 

You looked down at your baby who was about to fall asleep, “seoujun” you cooed at him and said, “Eomma is working hard okay for you, for Appa; just wait a bit longer I will prove it to you”. The straight eye contact with the pair of innocent eyes made your tone emotional rather than how it should have had turned out. 

Ahh, those eyes an inheritance from his father, Jung Hoseok. The only person because of which whom you were sustaining in life, because of whom you were lucky enough to call yourself a married woman and enjoys the joys of being married and the most important the father to your child. If it was for any other man you wouldn’t be so firm in front of all the hardships that life threw at you. 

At the apartment

You were sitting in front of the Tv watching a cooking show and simultaneously nursing your baby all the while observing his hand clench and unclench softly placed on your breast while he too stared at you lovingly, you chuckled at the site while the rattle of house keys made you look up. 

Hobi was back home but earlier than usual. you took the tired state of your husband tie all loosened up shirt crumpled from all the crowd in the metro. You sometimes felt grateful that at least you didn’t have to face the crowd after work. 

If it was for any other man you couldn’t imagine your life, probably fighting every day after work for working so much. 

But somehow hobi had all the patience in the world and always made sure you never went to bed angry at each other. The power that this man holds through his smile is incomparable, somehow also managed to wash away your worries.

"Hey how was your day?" you asked. soon as he sprawled over the couch his head leaning backward.

"Good but I missed you both," he said leaning ahead and resting his head on your shoulder. His eyes shifted between you and Seojun and you could feel his hot breath tickling the sides of your neck. 

All the while he told himself how lucky he got to have a family of his own. A family whom he could come back to after a stressful day at work. A baby whom he could teach and nurture along with you.

A strong woman, the mother to his kid, 'you' whom he could share the responsibilities of parenthood with and also could rely on when he had his tough times. 

Life was good even when the money coming in wasn’t the very best he was still satisfied. After a good peaceful moment, you could see Seojun falling asleep so you went ahead and put him to sleep. As you returned you could hear a sound of shuffling which was coming from Hobi  so to see what was going on you went ahead to take a peak but as soon as he heard you coming in his direction he covered it all up and stood there as if just a few seconds ago he wasn’t digging through his office bag. 

You were keen on knowing what he had been hiding but even before you could ask he dragged you along with him towards the dining table to have dinner. 

Soon you forgot to ask him about earlier and even he was relieved that you didn’t interrogate him further. You both had a peaceful dinner but made sure to ask about each other’s day and so on. You could hear faint cries of seojun so you decided to head towards him before you could begin doing the dishes but Hobi assured that he would take care of him. 

Therefore you proceeded with the task of doing the dishes. Amidst this, you went to check up on both of them but hobi had held Seojun in his arms while he faced the wall. Seriously what was this man doing? Sometimes he was just so easy to read and his actions too. But this time seems you can’t decipher what he was doing. 

As you were wiping your hands you felt tiny arms trying to reach out for your arm just to turn around to see the baby reaching out for you. You took him into your arms when Hobi handed him over to you. 

“I have something for you,” hobi said with a ray of hope and excitement gleaming in his eyes. What is he up to? He decided to make you follow him and hence you were standing in the middle of the living room with the most confused face but on another hand, your husband had the usually exciting aura around him. 

He came in front of you and looked straight into your eyes. “You ready babe,” he said one hand holding your while the other was hid behind his back. He made you close your eyes and guided one of your arms ahead while still holding it. You could sense some shuffling around you but you dared not open your eyes or else he would be mad for sure.

A cool piece of metal touched your wrist that’s when you decided you couldn’t hold it in anymore. As soon as you opened your eyes you could see that the once standing man was now on his knees and a diamond bracelet had adorned your wrist. 

It was indeed a delicate design and you loved it. You could see how proud he was of himself. The sight in front of you brought back so many memories that you could cry. 

The day when he proposed to you in the tiny dorm and made sure to marry you with a pompous event with nothing to spare. He held you when you had your first baby and held Seojun in another and constantly whispered of how lucky he was to have you. 

Even when you were sick when you had been fired he was there to share the sorrow and wipe your tears. He was yours forever, your hobi. “Do you love it?” he asked seeing your glossy eyes. “Of course I loved it hobi you bought it for me I would love anything that you gave me” your head now resting on his chest as he held you in his arms and also encircled joonie. 

“But hobi this is too expensive for us we can’t afford this. This bracelet seems real. How were you able to buy this? We can’t be spending so much you know right, we have loans to take care of” you asked now being practical. 

“Don’t worry about it, I have been saving up for this for a long time, umm kind of since we got married” you shocked face now on display. You did not have any clue he had been doing any sorts of savings. But most importantly why now why all of a sudden? 

“Y/n I still remember how I was not able to give you everything you wanted when we dated back then. How you always stared at every new item your friends had gotten from their partners. I felt a lot guilty. 

Guilty because I couldn’t even spare money to treat my girlfriend to a fancy dinner. But you never complained and always stayed happy with what you had, believe me, I wanted to give you everything I could but I failed.” You still remembered those days back then.

Both of your struggling days to find a life and settle down in this busy city when you found each other you decide to date. To be honest there was nothing to complain about. What would one want when you had a loving boyfriend standing firm beside you.

Not even the financial struggles could break you apart and never will. “I saw you crying in pain when you gave birth to joonie I felt as if had no contribution to the three of us just worked sluggishly for long hours and could only see you for a few hours. 

This is why id decides to buy this for you as soon as possible as a token of appreciation for whatever you have endured being with me. If it was for any other man you would have had-” before he could complete his sentence you placed a chaste kiss on his lips, consider it as a way to make him quiet or seal you overflowing emotions, I don’t know. "I would never be able to be this happy with anyone else Hobi  I don’t care how much we bring in at the end of the day but I am sure there would never be any less amount of love coming inside this house. I am sure of that. If it wasn’t for you I would never have joined. You know I love you a lot right? ” a confirming nod came as approval from him as you both smiled at each other.

 You were happy all three of you in a cocoon called a family, it might be a bit tight to fit in this one-bedroom apartment but you were glad that you were apart of this space. 

Every hardship of your and his life would be witnessed by this space and you were ready to fight every one of them with your husband by your side.

[fictaetion]

Bartender’s Fine Wine

@fictaetions

Park Jimin Imagine

Fiddling with my fingers, my eyes hurriedly searched for a glass in which I was about to make a drink. Adding a slice of orange cut in the form of julienne I add a cube of sugar to it.

Later on, after crushing them with the pestle it was time to add the liquor to it. Swirling it around I cleared around the table making sure it was welcoming enough for my customers and easy to spot in this dimly lit room.

Clinking the glass I added a few more details to the recipe of my tailored drink, failing to notice the presence of my manager who was standing right beside me.

“What are you making today?” he asked, alternating his gaze towards me and the drink which I prepared some time ago.

“Classic Old Fashioned, my style,” I said sighing and turning my head to give my full attention to him.

“But what’s the use, It Monday pretty sure there won’t be many customers” tapping his fingers on the black marble.

“Hope my friend, hope” I smirked after completing my sentence.

“All right then carry on” saying this he carried on with his work ahead.

I turned around to face the liquor shelf as  I pulled out The Glenvielt,  whiskey bottle from the shelf, and was about to rest it on the counter when the man in his late 30’s barged in through the door. 

Seeing his reflection on the glass-covered shelf I was around to greet him with a warm welcoming smile.

Passing through the way shoulders slouched he made his way towards the bartender’s space and sat on a stool right in front of me.

“Excuse me” immediately turning towards the sound I was looking at.

“A whiskey on the rocks please” he requested. Agreeing to his orders I took out some ice from the ice bucket and poured them into the glass and added the whiskey which I previously got from the shelf.

Taking the ready drink in one of my hands I placed it down right in front of him making sure to notify him. 

He was drawing in his mini sketchbook before looking and nodding slightly. His gaze immediately went down back to his work.

It had been a few minutes now. I looked back up to see him still focused on his work sipping his whiskey from time to time. I turned back, a small smile sitting on my lips just by looking at him.

After a while, he bottomed up his drink and placed the glass back on the counter. The clinking of glass with the marble made a sound indicating he had finished his drink already.

“So should I get you a repeat or would you like something more interesting?” I asked him not to break eye contact with us.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Depends….”

“On,” he asked curiosity growing in him.

“If you are a risk-taker or not” I quickly scanned the counter and looked back up at him.

He instantly put his sketchbook and pencil down and paid his full attention towards me, just what I had been wanting.

“Ok then bring me something that’s not on the menu” he demanded.

Agreeing to it I immediately got to my work repeating the same recipe I curated some time ago. During the whole time, we both kept making eye contact with each other. I could see him admiring and giving me a confused look every time I added a new ingredient to the drink. 

“Hm here you go, Classic Old Fashioned but with a twist,” I said as I handed him his drink.

“I may be of a certain age, but I am not old-fashioned,” he said looking a little bit offended.

“Oh no no no, I didn't mean it like that at all. This is one of my specials I only make this for the people whom I find” licking my lips and proceeded to complete my sentence.

”Interesting”. Throughout the whole time I never once faltered the dominance my voice and aura had and instead maintained consistent eye contact with him.

Impressed by my words he smiled at the drink and then at me. 

“You prefer drinking alone,” I said, raising a question.

“Huh alone, nuh-uh I make my own company” saying that he raised his sketchbook displaying one of the drawings he had drawn during the time he was sitting here.

“Wow, you made it within 10 minutes?” I was completely baffled by his artwork.

“Are you an artist” 

“Architectural designer, it’s just that sketching helps me relax” 

“Also drinking is more fun when you are by yourself,” he said lifting his glass.

“True but people these days don’t know how to be alone,” I said pretending to get back to my work.

“So uhm are you alone only here or..?

“What do you mean,” he asked, quaking his eyebrows up.

“Are you married” listning to this he instantly started smiling and repositioned himself on his seat?

“Well I didn’t see that coming,” he said leaning his body weight over the countertop.

“Take your time, men usually lie or beat around the bush,” I said and turned my back to face him.

“Divorced,” he said instantly. I looked at him and then went back to do some work.

Meanwhile, he decided to take a sip of the drink which I presented to him. Looking through the glass he brought it up to his lips to take a sip out of it.

“Oooh, this is good” , his facial expressions matching the impressive remarks which he gave me.

“Thanks, it’s the cinnamon which works wonders”

“ All good sir, are you enjoying the drink” my manager came up to him for the usual customer review he does every time.

“Yes your bartender makes a good Old fashioned” I blushed hearing the compliment from him.

“Y/n did we already add the old fashion in our menu?” my manager asked me.

Not wanting him to disturb me I immediately popped up with a question,” didn’t you tell me you had bills to tally”.

“Oh yes, thanks for reminding me” my plan worked since he immediately took off to do his work.

“So are you always friendly on the job or is this hospitality because of the lack of customers?” he asked as soon as my manager left.

“Why is it so hard for you to believe that I find you find you attractive? I demanded an answer from him.

“Doesn’t my age bother you?” he asked just to tease me.

“Since when did attraction have anything to do with the number, besides I think you have aged well like a fine wine,” I said pulling out the bottle of wine and pouring a drink for myself.

Quizzed by my actions he asked,” Drinking on the job?”

“Yes plus I also have a good company” I looked at him and pointed my glass towards him.

“You are quite upfront”

“‘And does that surprise you,” I asked sippin for my wine.

“It’s different”

“For most people, yes but I don’t blame them. Since childhood we have seen this only right, the man makes the first move, the man proposes to the girl, saves the girl, and all. There are no movies made on girls like me.” I rant it out.

“You remind me of my mother,” he says and I looked kind of displeased by his choice of words.

“Ok what, haa this is not where I expected this to go”

“No no, I didn't mean it like that” clearing his voice he started talking again.

“Alright hear me out, so the year is 1975, my mom went to my dad’s house with a proposal. My whole family was shaken, I mean it's one thing to fall in love but then too for the girl to go to the man’s house and propose, it was unheard of”

“Then what happened?”

“So my family did a background check on her you know to check and all and of course when my mother passed the great character test, they got married. But then it was my mother who made the first move.” he completed his sentence proudly grinning.

“I mean what’s different now, I mean if a girl doesn’t give in easily people think she is being pricey and if she does the opposite she is considered desperate. I guess the world will always be afraid of women, who aren't afraid.”

“Well I am not,” he said, but now the both of us are maintaining flirtatious eye contact.

I glanced at my wristwatch and notified him that within ten minutes my shift would be over.

“So if I invite you back to my place, will you judge me? Mr. Park Jimin."

[fictaetion]

*F A D E D M E M O R I E S*

                            @fictatetions

Never in my entire life would I have thought that I could see something so beautiful, so pure.I live for you, to see you everyday but somehow  can't get to hold you and I know you want to be held by someone like their life depends on you. 

But this will change soon my love. You will get what you always wanted.

You have no idea how much I love you, the way my heart flutters when I see you everytime. 

The way my head starts making scenarios of us together whenever I think of you. From the very first time I saw you, at the park plucking a few dandelions. The Dandelions as gentle as you are. 

So I went ahead and picked it up of course after you left and held it close to my heart wherever i go. It reminds me of you.

After that day i spent hours searching for you in the crowds determined to feel the same fuzzy feeling after i saw you for the very first time. I stopped breathing the moment I saw you again and decided to never let go.

After that time i have never been in a better place in my entire life because i had you with me all the time. I remember everything, our first date, me sneaking into your room and I never intend to forget this. 

Your features are still ingrained in my brain. The way your hair dangles on your face even when the slightest of breeze passes through them. I love to tuck them behind your ears just to get that one smile, one shy smile from you. 

The way you flutter your eyelashes when you want a kiss from me, I fell for that all the time. Remember the way i grazed your cheeks when you had returned home crying from work, their feeling still lingers on the pad of my thumbs. 

Our first kiss when I felt your lips on mine for the first time I made a promise to myself that there will never will be a day where i would let a sob escape from them. 

You still hold those memories too right? Not just the happy ones but the sour ones too. 

Our first argument that we had where we did not talk for days. Believe me I regret each and every ounce of it. But not anymore, as you are here right in front of my eyes.

I see you right now and I am trying so hard not to let any tears escape from my eyes. You look so breathtaking in your wedding dress which is white, bedazzled but those diamonds fail  to match the shine that your eyes hold. 

I see you walking down the aisle, extremely nervous hands trembling as you hold the bridal bouquet containing dandelions. Seems like you still love to gift these flowers to your loved ones. 

No wonder you present these to me till date. Your thoughts have surrounded my mind so much that I forgot you are already here standing right in front of the altar ready to take your vows. 

Just like you I am extremely nervous,an unexplainable pain in my heart  feels like it could shatter at any moment just  like the day it did when I died in your arms. 

The very last image that  i saw was of you crying when i breathed my last. I was afraid as to how would you cope up and.it was even more difficult for me to let go of those strings of your thought from my memories. But i eventually did.

You complained and sobbed for days as to how i left you all alone. But believe me i never left i am still present here in your heart.

I exist because you do, all of my memories are still existing because you want them too. When you would talk to yourself after I left I wanted to take you in my arms so badly to comfort you and plant kisses on your forehead but I couldn't. 

I know you wanted kids, you wanted to grow old with me but I am sorry, I am sorry as I couldn't keep the promises and broke every single one of them.

If it wasn't because of this heart I would be there standing at the altar kissing you and becoming your husband. 

But best believe me I watch you everyday from heaven, fighting with gods for reducing my life span. 

But I am at peace now knowing that you have someone that will look after you and love you in the same manner as i did. 

Please be happy, save a corner of your heart for our memories. I wish  I could be the one owning all of the place but that's definitely not possible, is it?. 

Grow and cherish with my memories instead of letting them hold you back. Have many babies with your husband just as you wanted too and love your family with your whole heart. 

Oh and one more thing before i take my momentary leave please keep on visiting my grave with those same exact flowers, same love but not those eyes filled with sadness, the ones filled with strength.                                    

"Our memories might have faded but our love will last forever"