#I can't believe i was 13 when it came out and I'm 23 and all caught up now...

[slushieplanet]

I just read 10 years worth of comic in 3 days

go read @orange-plum's Satan and Me if you want your ships to ruin your mind

[youneedsomeprompts]

~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about secret dating

requested by: various anons requests: I saw the "Forbidden Love" prompts, mostly about not admitting to themselves / each other, and it really made me yearn for forbidden love prompts where they're together but they have to hide it from everyone else; one sided “keeping a relationship hidden from coworkers”; can you post prompts about two oblivious people who are already dating but the other people don't know they're dating? dialogues or scenarios would do<3 thank you and love your prompt contents!

Feel free to use and reblog!

Part 1: ~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about confessing a forbidden crush Part 2: ~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about showing love without confessing

Setting/scenario:

#1 - keeping it secret at first because they didn't think it would turn into something that serious anyway #2 - enjoying the thrill of the secrecy #3 - being unsure whether that nervous feeling in their stomach is coming from their feelings for the other or the fact the relationship has to be kept a secret #4 - it's killing them that they have no one they can share their thoughts about their new relationship with #5 - making up the most random excuses to secretly meet up with the other #6 - screaming internally because they're having a date but they can't talk about it #7 - trying to act casual and unsuspicious in public when they're together but it's so hard #8 - teasing the other because they know how hard it is for them to keep their affection/arousal to themselves #9 - making promises that they don't have to keep it secret for much longer (but is it really realistic?) #10 - developing a method to communicate in code #11 - keeping it secret to protect the other #12 - keeping it secret until better times come #13 - making up for keeping it secret by extremely romantic/spoiling dates when they're alone #14 - wanting to fix everything before making the other their official s/o #15 - finding it the least stressful way to date to just keep it secret #16 - enjoying their little, happy secret because that way, no one can ruin it/take it from them #17 - it's like living in two completely separate worlds because their relationship is something that just exists between the two of them and the time together is always otherworldly #18 - wanting to stay in their happy dream world forever #19 - making plans for the future together, even though they don't know where they will be tomorrow #20 - they're keeping the other's love letters hidden under their pillow even though they know how risky it is

Dialogue:

#21 - "You're the most precious thing to me. So, I have to keep you as safe as possible." #22 - "Ah, I'm glad to have you finally to myself." #23 - "When I'm with you, it's like the earth stood still. I'm never so at peace." #24 - "You know, I really don't want to imagine what would happen if the others knew." #25 - "We have to be more careful. This was really a close call." #26 - "Do you really think it's necessary we keep it secret for much longer?" #27 - "I'm doing this for you. You're much better off when the others don't know." "You always say that. But I'm not sure if I still believe it." #28 - "It's not ideal but hell would break lose if it came out. I'm really glad we have the moments of peace. And intimacy." #29 - "Could you have imagined that we would someday end up like this?" #30 - "You're the best that happened to me. And I can tell no one about it. But I want to shout it from the rooftops." "Oh, you better don't. But you can always whisper it to my ear." #31 - "Isn't it fun to have this secret?" #32 - ^ "That's one way to call it." #33 - "I was really impressed how you handled that earlier. So cool. So smooth. So casual. As if I hadn't just made you whimper and made your eyes roll back minutes prior." #34 - "It's all worth it. I would risk it all again just to be with you." #35 - "Do you really think this is a good idea? They could find us." #36 - "You'll be the death of me." #37 - "To be honest, it's pretty funny to see you acting so unfazed and oblivious when we both know you were still thinking about me being naked." #38 - ^ "I always think about you being naked. It's not as if it's a new challenge to keep a straight face." #39 - "But you do know that I'm doing this all for you, right? Otherwise, I couldn't care less." "But you have to act as if you were in for the thing itself. They cannot connect you to me." #40 - "One day, I will carry you off to a place where it's just us. So, be prepared to be kindly abducted one day, alright?"

[alotofpockets]

5k celebration | Requests: closed

Wow, this number seems so surreal. Thank you to each and everyone of you! Your likes, comments, reblogs, and messages mean the world to me 💗 Of course, a milestone like this needs to be celebrated, so happy requesting! :)

How to request:

Pick a promt from below the cut (one per request!)

Pick a player from my woso masterlist

And that's it, you can send in your request here :)

Can't wait to write these for you all!

Prompt list below:

1. "You can push me away all you want, but I'm not going anywhere."

2. "I don't need anything fancy, just you."

3. "I should've called."

4. "You really don’t realize just how many people love you, do you?"

5. "Stay where you are. I’m coming to get you."

6. "If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back."

7. "I don't need your help, I can handle this on my own."

8. "I was having a bad day until I heard your voice."

9. "I love how you get excited about the little things. It’s one of my favorite things about you."

10. "You’re not a burden to me. You never could be."

11. "Your scars don’t make you weak, they show how strong you are."

12. "Your only job today is to rest and get better."

13. "I love watching them grow up, but can they just stop growing for a minute?"

14. "I'm still your emergency contact."

15. "You make me want forever."

16. "Only bought this dress so you could take it off."

17. "In case you didn't know, I'm crazy about you."

18. "You came." - "You called."

19. "Don't touch me."

20. "No one ever holds me."

21. "You're so stubborn."

22. "I think I'm being followed."

23. "Our girl's first football practice."

24. "Keep it, it looks better on you anyways."

25. "Go celebrate with the team."

26. "Is it broken?"

27. "Doesn't take an idiot to figure it out."

28. "I don't care what they say, I want to be with you."

29. "You sleep with the stuffed animal I got you?"

30. "I love you." - "Tell me when you're sober."

31. "How do I look?"

32. "Nightmares again?"

33. "Can we trade? I like yours better."

34. "Did the baby just kick?"

35. "Get a room."

36. "You're staring again."

37. "Do you ever run out of fun facts?"

38. "I don’t need you to fix me, I just need you to hold me."

39. "You always make me feel like I'm home, no matter where we are."

40. "There’s nothing you could do that would make me leave."

41. "They get their stubbornness from you."

42. "You haven't kissed me all day."

43. "Our life together is everything I’ve ever dreamed of."

44. "Do you really think she likes that you're so clingy?"

45. "That's what friends are for, right?" - "Right, because you're definitely not more than friends."

46. "Would you like some company?"

47. "That's a lot of blood."

48. "This is all just a big misunderstanding."

49. "I can’t believe you remembered."

50. "Are you seriously having a tea party with the teddy bears?"

[levis-coffeecup]

chapter 29| Turning Page

WC-6.5k

Summary

The underground is filthy and dark. Dim lights, dull alleys, and desperate hearts. A place Levi knows as well as the back of his hand, and a place he would do anything to get out of.

Chapters of life roll by and with the turn of a page, things drastically change. In front of him is the opportunity to live on the surface. And the flimsy bridge that he has to cross. From an uncivil criminal to a disciplined soldier.

But life on the surface seems tougher amidst all the mockery, civilities, and the gaping hole left in his heart, after the demise of his dear friends Isabel and Farlan.

Content/Warnings

canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, spoilers for No Regrets OVA, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language, self-hate, physical assault.

Author’s Note

OMG hiii guysss!

Can't believe that this is the last chapter!! There's so much gratitude in my heart right now. This has been a long long (irregular🤡) ride, and I'm grateful to everyone who's sticked around!

I've tried my best to write an amazing chapter since its the last, which is why this got so delayed. (And I might also have been overworked to the core at work lol ) But there's going to be a long ass note at the the end of the chapter about everything!

Song for the final chapter is by Turning Page by Sleeping at Last!

I hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Chapters

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Masterlist | Playlist | Other Works

APRIL 857

It’s an hour past 12, and Levi sits on his balcony looking at the midnight sky.

The thick veil of pollution prevents the stars from being visible. Instead there's street lights and high beams from cars, twinkling on the ground.

He misses the stars from Paradis. It was the first thing he fell in love with once he came to the surface. And he wonders, whether Mae is looking at the stars and thinking of him as well?

The world outside the walls is beautiful.

There are soaring cathedrals that almost reach the sky, and beautiful temples with the most intricate architecture. There’s snow capped mountains and beautiful cherry blossoms. And everyday, from his tiny balcony, he gets to see the sun sink below the sharp silhouette of the towers.

He’s getting to experience the world his comrades died for.

But as beautiful the outside world is, it isn’t home

The development of technology seems unfamiliar. And the people around him haven’t lived their entire lives caged in fear. These people don’t know the cost of freedom.

It has been so long since he’s been back home.

It’s been so long since the Rumbling too.

The earth was left razen. Mountains crumbled to dust and forests burnt to ashes. Countries had simply been wiped off the face of the earth. Years of civilization and developmentsnuffed out in an instant, with no one to record their names.

But against the odds, humanity managed to survive. Traumatized and beaten, but still alive.

Miraculously Levi made it too.

Jean and Connie found him half dead, on the foot of Fort Salta. He was lapsing in and out of consciousness. Devoid of the strength to even stand up.

Tents were made into makeshift hospitals, food was meager. And his first few months were spent on a wooden cot,bed ridden with the stinging pain of his knee and his yearning for Mae.

He yearned to see her when he was trapped with Zeke for a month, he yearned to see her when he woke up with searing pain and bandages all over his face. And now the war was over, but he couldn’t get back to her.

The Rumbling destroyed everything humanity had ever strived for. Rail tracks, roads, ports, farms… everything was abolished as an aftermath.

It was impossible to get to the other side of the world.

Gradually Levi recovered, it took him almost a year. But his strength never returned. The tiniest task would turn him breathless, and the sight in his right eye was gone for good.

The doctors diagnosed him a plethora of health problems. And he was never allowed to look weak, but now he was in a wheelchair, needing help to pick things up from the floor. Life dealt him one blow after another.

Armin, Jean and Connie became busy, making peace with the remaining nations. Mikasa never returned. And Levi found himself, all alone. With a chaotic mind, and too much time on his hands.

Soon the Allied Nations rescued all the survivors from the Titan Waste Lands. Marley was no more, so most refugees ended up taking asylum in Hizuru.

And by the courtesy of Kiyomi Azumabito, Levi was gifted an apartment in the center of the city hall, and citizenship. A tiny apartment in between a lush square, in the city center.

It was tiny, but homely enough. And he would love sitting on the balcony and watching the outside world.

Life got more comfortable and Levi got to see the sights his comrades died for.

But there were still days where he barely had enough strength to pick his remaining fingers. Those days were the worst. And he felt like the walls of his apartment would swallow him up.

The purpose of his life was over. Hange was gone. Erwin was gone. Life came crashing down.

And sometimes, under the flicker of a candlelight, at his tiny desk, he would close his eyes, and imagine that he’s back in Mae’s old house. Learning the alphabet, listening to the soft scratches of her pen as she corrected his writings. It seemed like lifetimes had passed since then.

Mae was always with him, through all his hurdles he faced on the surface. And now he had to face an awfully big one, without her.

So he decided he’ll start to learn writing again. With two fingers of his right hand gone, he had to re-learn how to hold a pen again. He told Onyaknapon to get him books, so he could trace over letters, trying to perfect every curve. Just the way Mae had taught him.

It gave him a sense of purpose, and it also made him feel close to her in some way.

It took three years for the Yeagerists to finally agree to a cordial discussion with the Alliance. Historia sent letters to everyone. And this morning the Alliance left, back to their hometown.

Armin did extend an invitation to him too. But Levi didn’t want to be associated with the world anymore. He didn’t have the strength for it nor the will. His job was done.

“Captain,” A voice pulls him out of his thoughts. Behind him is a sliding door that leads to his room. And on the bed sits Onyakapon.

He points at the three thick journals that take up most of his space in his briefcase.“Are you sure you want to take these back?”

And Levi contemplates. Paper doesn’t spoil, and he should rather carry some spare clothes to keep himself clean.

“Leave the journals there.” His voice comes out gruff, and then it turns wispy. Everything he’s ever felt in these years without her and his limbs, is penned in these flimsy sheets of paper.

“It’s letters I have written to her.” There is no need to clarify. There’s no need to carry his journals all the way back either. But he does it either way. The war has changed him. And Levi realises he doesn’t have to torture himself anymore.

“I’m surprised you never got her to meet us.” Onyakapon smirks. He could have never guessed the captain had a lover.

And a faint smile appears on Levi’s lips as the curve of her smile plays on his mind. He wonders if she found the pearl ring and his letter. He never found the courage to directly hand it to her.

It’s been three years. Three long painful years. Perhaps, she’s forgotten all about him.

“Tch, as if I’ll let you filths near her.” He brushes his feelings off. Masking his thoughts with harsher words. Some things truly never change.

A flight passes over his head, he’ll probably sit in the next one.

“I hope everything is safe out there, hope there’s no hostility.” Onyakapon mumbles as he closes the briefcase.

And Levi gets off from his wheelchair, limping towards his bedpost. “No harm from a guy in a wheelchair.” He tries to joke, but there’s a prick in his heart.

He can’t pick things from the shelf. Some Days he also needed help to get to the toilet. And even though he’s returning back to Mae, there’s nothing he can do for her now.

And while happiness was never a part of his destiny. He hopes she’s happy. At least one of them must be.

“Well if things are bad, you can always come back here captain.” Onyakapon’s voice cuts through the constant torture of his thoughts.

The words bring him enough solace to take him through the night. A rare smile tugs on his lips. “Thanks Onyakapon.”

It’s going to be a long trip.

_________________________

It’s 10 am, and it’s sweltering hot in Mitras. Sweat clings to Levi’s skin, and he wipes it off with the back of his hand.

His briefcase sits on his lap. And he pushes his wheelchair through the dirt road,

Vast meadows stretch in front of him. The air is fresh, and a plethora of apple trees border the sides of the road. Its shade is very welcome in the sun.

Farmhouses are scattered at a distance, crops grow in structured rows. And Levi taps his heel, as he moves past them mindlessly. His thoughts are only set on one.

Historia told him Mae’s house was at the end of the apple plantation. Luckily the terrain is flat, and he’s able to maneuver his wheelchair with ease.

Nonetheless, it’s been a tiring ride.

The royal guards did offer to escort him to Mae’s house, but he declined the offer. The moment approaching was too personal to share with a bunch of strangers.

Soon, what he’s searching for comes to vision, and eagerly he moves forward.

100 meters away from him, down the mud path, is a humble home. Its stone walls are smooth, worn out by time. And the roof is thatched with wood and straws.

There’s a small garden at the front, with saplings that are beginning to sprout. And a few meters away from it all is a park. The sight of which bubbles a bittersweet feeling in Levi's chest.

“This is it.” He exhales, cherishing the cold air on his lips. It’s a breath that he’s been holding in for too long. A yearning that has been living in his heart for years now.

His mind jogs back to a small trip they took 5 years back, on Mae’s birthday. She had booked a small cabin nestled in the middle of farmland.

He still remembers the smile on her face, and the way her eyes crinkled in the sunlight.

Her hair flowed in the wind, and he thoughtlessly followed it. Too enamored by the happiness she radiated.

The birds sang, and the lillies seemed to beam.

Stories were told by the fireplace, and they would stargaze from the flower field. Cuddling under the sheets of the stiff bed, and eating lunch under a tree's shade.

She laughed, then he smiled. And for a fleeting moment, Levi had escaped from all his responsibilities.

He realized he could spend his entire life this way, under the shadow of the sun, and the warmth of their love. He couldn’t care less about saving the world, or his tea shop even…

He just wanted to be here with her.

Forever.

But time stopped for no one. And Levi’s prayers had a habit of going unheard.

And now, 5 years later, life has brought him here again. In a secluded countryside so full of beauty and peace, and so unlike him.

This is the kind of life Mae had always wanted to live. Away from the bustle of the city, where she could spend countless hours looking at the stars.

The door to her house softly clicks. And Levi leans forward, with his breath caught in his throat.

He has felt her caress in the warmth of the sunlight. He’s heard the faint echo of her laughter in the rustling of the leaves. Every breath, every movement, was just in the hopes that he’d get to see her again.

Seasons passed by like shadows, and now finally he’s finally here, moments away from her. The journey has been staggeringly hard.

Time passes at a lumbering pace, and Levi feels like he can almost hear the creaking of the door, as it gets swinged open.

Out steps a man with a basket in his hand. He’s well built and tall, and donned in a casual attire.

And Levi’s heart drops to the floor as a sickening feeling of jealousy takes over. All of a sudden the blood is thunderous in his ears.

He feels like he can’t breathe And his heart burns at the thought that her gentle smile turns to a man who isn’t him.

A moment later, a toddler comes out, chasing behind the man.

And Levi clutches the sides of his wheelchair so tight, that his knuckles turn white.

Fuck

He feels like he’ll vomit.

Like salt to his wounds, the man picks up the child. And she smiles so bright, he can see her sweet giggle, even though it's barely audible in the distance.

The man kisses the toddler’s cheeks, and takes her to the park. And Levi watches the scene with a sting in his eye.

He was her lover once but now he's a mere bystander. A powerless man who can do nothing but just watch. The realization is like a punch to his gut, and a bittersweet memory comes to Levi’s mind.

On their last night in the cabin, he told Mae he didn’t have the time to get her a birthday present. And then she shed a silent tear, telling him how she felt like she’s carrying the entire relationship.

It wasn’t too far from the truth. He had too much on his mind as a soldier. And life was not easy when the weight of humanity rested on your shoulder. Some days he didn’t even have the time to think of her.

And Levi knew he was being selfish by keeping her chained to him, but his heart didn’t know a way of living without her.

He asked what he could do to make it up to her, and she asked him to run away to a peaceful place.

All she had ever wanted was to stay next to him.

The decision was clear in his head then, but now he wonders if he should have just eloped with her… It's not like all the wars he’s fought have turned this world into an ideal place.

The impermanence of life… It’s something that he still can’t comprehend.

What is born shall die, what has started shall end. People come and go out at their own pace. The good moments turn stale, and eventually everyone ends up alone, with only memories to comfort them. Time is truly a fickle piece of shit.

The man places the toddler on the swing, before he heads the other way. And Levi gets consumed by his thoughts.

He had people who he once held close too. Erwin, Hange, Isabel, Farlan. But they left.

He wasn’t prepared for their deaths, but somehow he made his peace with it.

But he's not ready to let Mae go yet.

Not when her name is etched in the depths of his heart. Not when her thoughts have troubled him day and night. His heart yearns for her so deep, it doesn’t know another way of living.

It was supposed to be his kid, she was supposed to be his wife. He wanted to start his tea shop too. Life just had some other plans after all.

There were days when he didn’t have the strength to get out of his makeshift bed, there were days where his injuries hurt so much, he thought he’d prefer death over the pain of living like this. But he pushed and pushed.

Because at the end of this tunnel, he saw her.

The sweet end of his tiresome journey, The reward for his unyielding perseverance. His home after years of loneliness.

But it’s been three years now. And she’s not his anymore.

A part of him wants to throttle this man, for laying his hands on her. And a part of him wants to hate on her too. But it isn’t her fault as well.

His heart has been placed in the palm of her hand for far too long. And if she decides to break it, then he’ll just have to disseminate.

He guesses he’ll just have to live with the weight of being all alone.

The silence consumes,

And Levi taps his heel in frustration.

Time passes by painfully slowly. And one minute turns into fifteen.

The man and toddler are long gone now, but Levi still continues to bleed on the edge of his seat. He continues to sweat in the heat. Too nervous to move forward, yet too regretful to turn away.

Old habits die hard, he guesses.

The strength to move forward wanes from his body and every breath he takes only shatters his composure into pieces. He never thought he’d have to taste defeat, after winning over the entire world.

There’s some shuffling in the woods, and he swivels around aghast. His reflexes are not as sharp as he used to be. And he’s too exhausted to put on the act of a stone cold person.

He tries honing on the sound of movement but what use would that even be?

Back in the day he had the strength to beat any person to a pulp. But now with his crippled leg, he’s more of a burden, than a lover.

His hands trace back to his scars, a habit he has recently developed. And insecurity floods his mind.

He feels stupid pondering over something as trivial as his appearance. He wouldn’t even pay it a thought when he was in the Survey Corps. But he’s on the way to meet the love of his life and there’s these scars on his face that make him look fucking hideous.

The pit he's falling into is not unfamiliar. It’s something that bothers him everytime he looks into the mirror.

And in the haze of his insecurities. A sweet voice finds him.

“Dadd-a?”

He gasps, slowly turning towards the voice.

A little girl peeks at him from behind a tree trunk. He can’t see much of her, as she’s a few feet away, partly covered between the dense layers of trees. But he recognises her as the same child, who stepped out of Mae’s house a few moments ago.

The silence stretches, and she continues looking at him. With her eyes all wide and beaming. And Levi sighs, not knowing how to react.

He decides he doesn’t have it in him to see Mae or her happy family. He’ll just come back another day, when his heart hurts a little less.

And so he turns his wheelchair around, almost taking a U turn. But the same innocent voice stops him again.

“Dadd-a,” the girl squeals, and her tiny shoes squeak as she waddles towards him.

And Levi feels stumped, when she wraps her tiny body around his leg.

He’s always been quick to react to situations, but now he’s frozen.

He wonders why this little girl is hugging his leg, and how she’s not scared of how scary he looks with the huge scars on his face.

And as much bitterness his heart holds at the cruel turn of fate, her purity washes it away. Slowly, gently, deliberately. His features soften, and he decides the least he can do is drop her back home to safety.

He huffs, bending down to pick her up. And as he lifts her up by her armpits, his eyes are met with the same shade of silver.

Her skin is pale, papery white in complexion and her hair is the same shade of midnight black as his. Everything from the shape of her face to the shade of her lips comes from him. And there’s also a little cravat tucked inside her red polka dot dress.

“Daddaaa,” she chimes as if she recognizes him.

And a shuddered breath escapes his lips. Her smile… It comes from Mae.

She is his. Theirs. A part of him and a part of Mae.

And Levi has faced strong emotions before. He’s had his stomach churn with anxiety, and he’s had his heart overrun with grief and loss. He’s always anticipated all the things that could happen in his future, trudged every moment with caution. But no amount of preparedness could prepare him for the moment in front of him.

His hands tremble, as he puts her down on the floor. He’s a father now… he’s been a father for the past 3 years. It's too much to process. And his heart beats so fast in his chest, he’s afraid it will break out of his ribs.

“Lilly, Lilly,” A familiar voice cuts through the moment and his heart skips a beat.

“How many times have I told you not to-” Mae steps out of the trees, panting and worried. But the sight in front of her makes the words on her tongue scurry away.

Levi is a few meters away from her, in a wheelchair with 2 long scars running down his face, just the way the Queen had foreseen in the paths.

Everyday, she has stared at this road for countless hours, waiting for him to show up. It feels like she’s waited a lifetime to see him again.

The years of separation pass by her eyes.

Countless nights were spent crying into his shirt and every breath felt like a burden.

Everyone was ecstatic about the liberation of their island. And Mae was condemned to be alone, with her dwindling will to live.

Then she met Samuel and Claus, the soldiers who showed empathy to her, in a world that had become too hostile for anyone who supported the alliance.

They took her to the Queen, and the Queen recognised her instantly, as the doctor who helped when Trost was breached.

And as a Survey Corps Soldier who was once a part of the Levi’s squad, the Queen made it her mission to protect and provide for the ones who were close to the Alliance.

That’s when Mae moved into the peaceful countryside, with Jean and Connie’s mom.

Living with people who dealt with the same grief surely gave some solace, but life was still painful. And in the midst of her pain, like a beam of light into stark darkness, her baby came into this world.

And Mae never thought she’d get to see Levi’s eyes again, but they were right in front of her. Resting so peacefully against her chest.

That night she cried tears of gratitude. Life crashed into her as peacefully as it could.

“Mama mama, dadd-a has come back,” Her daughter squeals, with her tiny finger pointing towards Levi. Her grasp on her leg is still tight, and her eyes sparkle with joy.

And Mae tries to smile, but it gets dissolved in the trail of her tears.

This moment has haunted her every second, wrecked her entire being. And as she steps closer to the dream of Levi she’s had, every night since she was pregnant, the details of him come to life.

Her eyes follow the strong curve of his jaw, chiseled as if it has been carved by an artist. The ridge of his nose is sharp as always and his thin eyebrows are slightly disheveled.

She caresses him with her gaze, before her touch can even come close.

Two different Levi’s look back at her now. On the left, his face is marred, with two long scars running down his face. He is hurt and hidden away. And she can never see him through his cloudy iris.

But in his other eye, there are flecks of hope. The black of his pupil has expanded, and his iris shines blue in the sunrays. He wears his heart on his sleeve, Mae swears she has never seen him this vulnerable before.

And she might have lived without him for 3 years, but he has lived inside her every second, in her every thought. Her hand extends towards him out of deprivation.

Life hasn’t been the kindest to her.

But when the pads of her fingers reach the hollow of his cheek, her heart steadies itself. Whenever her eyes met his orbs , her ears met his voice, and her body met his touch. His familiarity always envelopes her. As if the hearth of a warm house, always welcoming and open.

Her hands reach to his lips, the shape of which she can trace on paper, even with her eyes shut close.

And Levi closes his eyes in alleviation.

There’s a search for words. Words for the longing, words for the separation.

And Mae shudders, as the pads of her fingers skim over his skin. They trace over his scars, the old and the new. From the top of his forehead, down to the edge of his chin. From the curve of his necks down the length of his arms.

Three years have passed by, but his features are still as strong.

Her caress reaches the end of his arm, and her fingers find the indents of his knuckles. Gingerly she takes his palm into hers,

And Levi is quick to wrap the 3 fingers that remain on his hand, around her.

Her touch feels both foreign and achingly familiar. He has craved this so much.

Mae’s eyes widen at the gesture, heavy with tears. And she kisses the spot where his 2 fingers once used to be. Levi is as real as ever, she can feel every divot of his skin against her lips.

The realization breaks her, and she drops to the floor. With her head on his lap, and her arms sprawled all over his thighs.

There’s disbelief, there’s elation. The feeling can never be put into words. Her shoulders wilt, heavy with the pain of separation, and she cries into his lap.

“I missed you… You weren’t there.” Her voice is muffled against his skin. “I thought I’d never see you again.” Her sobs pierce through the quiet of the farmland.

And he stares wide eyed, biting back his tears as well.

The pain she has carried with her all these years, is right in front of him. Laced into the heavy sobs that rake through her frame.

And Levi knows he should pick her up and kiss the shit of her, but he’s frozen. For his gaze is stuck on the familiar pearl ring that rests on her ring finger.

Words fail him, and his heart spasms in his chest. “D-did y-you ? He can only stutter, as his touch lingers over the pearl. ”A-after all this time?”

The question hangs in the air, but the answer is right in front of him. In the grief that occupies her heart, in the love that still brims in her eyes. And in the tiny girl who looks exactly like him.

It feels like all the sacrifices he’s made in life have finally come to fruition. His directionless quest has finally found its destination. His exhausted soul has found its shelter.

There’s such mercy in this moment, all he can do is shudder and let out an exhale. Maybe in exhaustion, maybe in fulfillment.

And Mae looks up at him, her eyes tinged red with tears. “I was only going to wait one more year, good that you came back in time.”

He puts his hand on her head, and her body trembles beneath his touch. All the grief she has held onto for so long, slows paroles in the form of her tears.

The scene is as heartbreaking, as it is rewarding.

“Ma-ma,” Lilly babbles, her voice as bright as sunlight cutting through storm clouds. And Levi looks at her as she tries to fit herself in the space between Mae’s hunched frame and his legs.

She settles into Mae’s lap, and Mae is forced to look into her eyes full of wonder.

“Mama…” she coos, and her tiny hands wipe the fat tears that roll down Mae’s face.” Dad-da’s back, don-t be sad.”

And Mae smiles at that, certainly she takes a lot from her father.

“You’re right, my love…let’s take Dada home shall we?” Her voice turns gentler, and she gets up with Lily in her arms.

“Levi?” Mae questions, gesturing towards his lap.

And Levi hesitates, a little too afraid that he’s too scary for the delicate human being.

“You’ll be a great father, don’t worry.”

The second time he looks at her, he knows he’s doomed. Her cheeks are round and full, as if there’s food stuffed inside them. And her eyes are just like his, but there’s a brightness in them that he never had.

She settles on his lap. And as he wraps his arms around her waist, she places her tiny palms on his scarred forearms. And Levi realizes there is nothing he wouldn’t do for this tiny person that he’s just met a few moments ago.

His heart feels full of love.

Mae starts pushing his wheelchair forward. And he closes his eyes, as he feels the wind against his face. It’s a moment that makes him feel grateful to be alive.

In a span of a few minutes, they’re already outside the veranda to her house. And Levi can smell the Lavender she has planted in the front garden.

“It’s not a big house but it’s enough. I stay here with Jean and Connie’s mom… Luckily for us though, they’ve gone to Trost for a bit.” Mae speaks, as she picks Lily from Levi’s lap, and places her inside the house.

“It’s a very sweet place though. All the farmers staying around often visit. It’s like a big family. Borris was here too, half an hour back. You might have seen him…he wanted to take some cookies for his son.”

“Ahh,’ Levi drawls, as if he didn’t spend fifteen minutes hating on that man. “I don’t think I saw him.”

She takes his briefcase in one hand, and hooks her other arm around his waist. Slowly helping him up the short flight of stairs. And he wants to do nothing, but melt in her embrace

“I can walk for a few minutes.” Her murmurs, almost embarrassed.

“You’re not walking anywhere until I check your leg myself.” She reprimands, but the softness in her eyes contradicts her strict tone.

As it turns out, Mae’s house is very much a home.

The interior is simple and modest. There’s a couch, two wooden chairs and a table in the front room. The wooden floor creaks as he steps in. And the walls are filled with the crayon marks.

“I’ll get your wheelchair inside.” Mae mumbles as she seats Levi on the couch.

And when Mae comes back in again, Lilly has already managed to climb on the couch. She’s standing on Levi’s lap with her hands on his cheeks. The faintest of smiles plays on Levi’s lips, and he holds her by the waist, making sure she doesn’t lose balance.

The sight makes Mae’s heart swell. Her entire world is now in front of her. Her heart feels so full and so heavy at the same time. And her eyes turn misty again.

“Oi oi, don’t start with all the crying again?” Levi mutters as he notices her standing by the door.

And Mae sniffs, overwhelmed. “I’ll make you some tea?”

“Yaa- Da-dda love teaaa.” Lilly squeals, before Levi can even respond to Mae.

And Mae smiles. Her family is finally complete... a few years back she would have never believed she’d get the privilege of experiencing this.

And just as she’s about to turn towards the kitchen, Levi stops her.

“Mae…” His voice drawls, and he pats the spot next to him. “Tea can wait.”

_________________________

The world outside fades into a quiet hum as the bustle of the morning stretches into the lull of the afternoon.

The sun has draped itself over the earth, like a soft blanket. And Levi rests on the bed. He’s just finished his lunch, and he allows himself to sink into the mattress.

Time seems to have been caught in the gentle sway of the trees, and Levi takes his sweet time looking at the things around him.

Lily's soft toys are stacked on top of the cupboard. And there's a wooden cabinet, filled with all of Mae's favorite books.

The curtains are made of colorful crocheted patchwork. And somehow Mae has managed to bring most of her things from her house in Trost here.

But it's not just that. Levi's stuff is here too.

There’s a cupboard next to Mae with his clothes folded and organized just the way he likes it. His favorite novels and teacups are kept in a separate cabinet. And right in front of the bed, there's a wall with paintings of the three of them together.

It feels like nothing has changed, like he was never away.

And everytime he closes his eyes, his heart begins to race. But for the first time, the adrenaline that flows through him isn’t nerve-racking. It feels exciting

The curtains above his head billow softly with the wind. A mild breeze enters the bedroom and Levi tilts his face to bask in its warmth.

His whole world now lies in his arms. Snoring peacefully, with her hand wrapped around his finger. She's so tiny, that all of her body fits on his torso.

And he lets out a sigh as he feels the subtle rise of her tiny chest against his own.

“Are you not able to sleep, because all of a sudden there’s a child on your chest, and you don’t know where she came from?” Mae steps into the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

“I can clearly tell where she comes from.” Levi comments as he looks at his dear daughter. “Is this why you were crying so much the day I was leaving for Marley?”

“Mhmm… “ Mae nods, as she rests her back against the door. And Levi closes his eyes, listening to her voice.

“You had to save the world Levi, you had to give it your all. And you would have died hating yourself if you knew you had a child coming into the world, that you weren’t going to be there for… As much as I was dying to tell you about my pregnancy, I thought it was best to keep it from you…” It’s an uncomfortable topic that defines the rest of their future, Mae’s eyes fall to the ground.

If only she would look up, she would see Levi with the faintest of smiles, thinking of how he can actually see her instead of imagining her.

“I know a child was never something you wanted… So I understand how complicated this situation can be for you.” Mae goes on and Levi lays still with his eyes shut in contentment, hoping for time to slow down.

“What?” She gasps, finally looking up at him. “Say something? I’ll never know how you’re feeling if you don’t tell me about it.”

Finally his eyes flutter open, and he looks at her through the curtain of his lashes. A faint smile plays on his lips, and his cheeks turn pink as he stretches out his other hand towards her. “Come here.”

In an instant, her features soften, turning into one of relief. And she smiles as makes her way to him.

She rests her head on his shoulder.And he drinks in every detail. As if he’s a parched man, dying of thirst. His heart pounds in his chest, and then his gaze falls towards her lips.

It doesn’t take too long for their lips to fuse together. It’s a simple kiss, but it’s been years.

They part in bliss.

And Levi brings her hands to his lips, pressing a doting kiss on her skin. She’s his to keep, his to salvage.He can’t put his gratitude into words.

“Thank you.” His voice is heavy. “ I-I…” He wants to tell her how happy he is to be next to her. He wants to tell her how exhausting it was without her. And that he can’t believe she’s all his. He wants to tell her about all the letters he’s written to her. But his heart is lodged so deep in his throat that he can’t squeak out the words he desperately wants to say.

“Rest my love.” She keeps her thumb on his lip, tracing his bottom lip. “We have time.”

His eyes flutter shut at her words, and her hand reaches to the top of his head. She starts combing out the hair that falls on his forehead.

His old scars have faded, almost blending into his skin. And the hard muscles on his chest have been replaced with soft dimpled skin. The lines in the corner of her eyes run deep.

He’s softer now. Marked by age, but just as beautiful.

Her finger traces down his cheek, following the scar that runs across his face. The feeling of his skin dipping under her fingers almost feels overwhelming.

“Levi,” she calls, caressing the side of his face. And he responds by leaning into her touch.

“I can’t believe you’re real,” She murmurs.

The silence is blissful.

And Levi feels his heart flutter, just like it did when she held his hand for the first time.

“Mae…” his voice trails off and he gulps. “How did Lily recognise me?... It feels like she knows so much about me?”

And Mae tilts her head up. “She’s heard stories about you ever since she was in my womb, of course she knows a lot about you… We even got someone to draw a portrait of you last year, because she wanted to see you for her birthday.”

“She thinks you’re some kind of hero Levi.” Mae yawns, “A few months back, she was trying to eat food by herself, and she ended up making a mess… which was fine because she was just learning, but she started crying frantically, and I asked her what happened? She said Dada wouldn’t like her, because she made a mess and Dada hates messes.”

Mae’s eyes trail to the way her daughter sleeps, with her cheek squished against Levi’s chest, and her eyes are shut close in peace. “She thinks you’re some kind of hero.”

And Levi remains silent. Afraid the words will ruin the tender moment.

It might seem like he’s dozed off, but the pink crawling on his cheek tells otherwise.

And Mae looks at him with the softest of smiles. For the first time in a long while, her heart feels complete.

“Actually she is right… you are a hero.” She mumbles as she closes her eyes in peace.

And a single tear slips past his eye.

He’s finally home.

Thoughts? Thoughts? Thoughts?

I know its a very simple, cliche, happily ever after ending, but I really REALLY wanted Levi to have a family of his own, and experience a normal, happy life, which is why I made Mae pregnant lol.

To anyone who has made this far. I would love to know your thoughts on the entire story. Things you liked, didn't like. Your feedback is crucial.

I'm going to start editing this fic from now on, and whatever you say will be considered. So I would love to know your thoughts on what could get better and be improved.

Something else, I'm very excited about is designing and illustrating a book cover (since I am a graphic designer lol) and get a few hardcopies printed for myself!! I'm assuming I'll be done with it by DEC 25th, so right now I do plan to post an Epilogue/ bonus chapter and share the book cover designs on Dec 25th. (I don;t know if anyone is interested in this, but I'm just doing it for myself hehe)

I would like to thank the many people who have been a constant support while writing this. I don't think I can tag everyone since they are on different platforms, so I'll just mention their names here. @Alexandra218943 , Cupidcup, @musumusuhasi and Abha , I wouldn't have completed this without you, so thank you <3

And to all the people who have commented, and interacted with the story at any point. I want to let you know that I've had a shit month at work, my self esteem has been at an all time low , and the only thing that's made me feel capable of something are your comments, and I keep going back to them! So thank you for that, I am immensely grateful!

[mxaether]

MITCH MARNER -VS- TORONTO MEDIA/TORONTO FANS/HIMSELF/EVERYONE (a playlist for when you love a thing so much, and it bites you)

track list and selected lyrics for each under the cut ❤️

1. I Want You So Bad I Can't Breathe - OK GO i want you, yeah, i want you/ i want you, yeah, i want you bad/ so bad i can't think straight/ so bad all my bones shake / so bad i can't breathe 2. Careful What You Wish For (the doctor said to) - Jack Harris something is missing/this predisposition/i feel like i'm living inside of my head 3. Who Made You A Monster? - Hael tricking the world to trust you/but everything that you say/is some kind of sordid lie/who taught you how to lie so well? 4. GOSSIP - Maneskin, Tom Morello welcome to the city of lies/where everything's got a price/gonna be your favourite place -- so sip the gossip, drink till you choke/sip the gossip, burn down your throat 5. Don't Be Nice - Watsky false modesty is a guilty habit/some people simply have it/but the fact is i would not have spent a decade doing this/if i did not believe i was at least a tiny bit ridiculously filthy at it 6. JEKYLL & HIDE - Bishop Briggs sweet and then you're sour/changes by the hour/never know which one i'll taste 7. End of It - Friday Pilots Club it's cruel you know/the way they've been treating you lately/get you real messed up on the daily 8. Nowhere Kid - Des Rocs inside of a maze you hide away/where nobody cares who you are/caught in a lie you can't escape 9. All For Us - Labrinth, Zendaya guess you figured my two times two/always equates to one/dreamers are selfish -- i'm taking it all for us, all/doing it all for love 10. Cruel Devotion - Night Club do you want me? tell me true/on my knees and now i'm begging you/loving you is such a cruel devotion 11. Who Are You, Really? - Mikky Ekko i have nothing left to prove/cause i have nothing left to lose/see me bare my teeth for you/who, who are you? 12. Heartbreak Feels So Good - Fall Out Boy is there a word for a bad miracle?/nobody said the road was endless/nobody said the climb was friendless 13. Some People - Dan Mangan cause it's too easy to be righteous when you eat what you've been fed/some people don't question what they've read/some people should 14. SELF-SABOTAGE - Waterparks i'll self sabotage/if you like when we talk i'll dislocate my jaw/what the fuck is wrong with me 15. Matches - Huxlxy bring me the ashes/set me alight/i'd rather burn than say goodbye 16. SICK - Chandler Leighton never let anyone see your guard down/too proud, just stop, keep my frozen/iced out, i'm six feet underground 17. Black Wave - K. Flay shaking in my own cage/what do i believe? i believe/waiting on a black wave/living under bad days 18. Middle Finger - Bohnes you show me love and then spit in my face/making your money off all of my pain 19. still feel. - half-alive when i'm furthest from myself/feeling closer to the stars/i've been invaded by the dark/trying to recognize myself when i feel i've been replaced 20. Rather Die - Barns Courtney i came to kill 'em, now i'm/wipin' the spit from my eyes/i take a beating but i/i'll never give up 21. Lake Effect Kid - Fall Out Boy oh i've got the skyline in my veins, forget your night time/sumer love on a gurney with a squeaky wheel/and joke us, joke us til Lakeshore Drive comes back into focus/i just wanna come back to life 22. Stronger - Kanye West n-now-now that, that don't kill me/can only make my stronger -- do anybody make real shit anymore?/bow in the presence of greatness/cause right now thou hast forsaken us 23. Bulletproof - La Roux, GAMPER & DADONI i won't let you turn around/and tell me now i'm much too proud/all you do is fill me up with doubt/this time, baby, i'll be bulletproof 24. What Do You Want - Nico Vega you can go ahead and hate me/for bringing in news, but you could still choose/ain't going to be a party/but you turn it all down, down, down/say, what do you want?/what do you want from me? 25. I'm Gonna Win - Rob Cantor you've seen me before, you'll see me again 26. Hero - Martin Harrix, JVKE

a thousand voices whisper noise/they plan my fall from grace/whoa-oh, i know/you say you want a hero, you don’t

[floridaboiler]

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER:

Moved to North Dakota this fall. We heard that summers are fun and winter is beautiful. We think there is no more beautiful a place in the whole world!

December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic, we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.

This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God! I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but. they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob-who has a plow on his truck-for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23 - Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago. She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling, and then he comes down the street...at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents...but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to feed her through a chipper shredder.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $4,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed ???

-Author Unknown

[ireallyloveangst]

RECKLESS| Yuuta Okkotsu x Reader AU

Note: Since I don't see any Yuuta fics, I'll make one huhu let us appreciate our baby girl Yuuta! This fic is inspired by the song Reckless by Madison Beer! Listen to the song while reading this if you want to cry :')

Reader: gender neutral

Genre: ANGST! (cuz i love angst)

Synopsis: You two were both happy in your relationship, then why he suddenly changed after she's back?

Words: 678

Written: 08/13/23

•••••••••••••••••••••

"I love you"

That's the words he keeps telling me every second, every minute, every hour, and I love hearing it from him. The way he tells me those words never fails to give me butterflies in my stomach. He assures me that he only loves me. But what just happened to him right now?

Friends. They're just friends with that girl named Rika, he told me so. Rika, his childhood friend who moved out of town to continue her study abroad. When she came back, why everything changed?

I remember him telling me about Rika. Listening to him talking about her is something. You could see it in his eyes the way he talks about her. It seems like they're not just childhood friends.

Rika Rika Rika. Those words never left his mouth and it makes me sick.

_________________________________________

Hearing the news that Rika came back, Yuuta changed. He always left me out just to go to her house. Guess he just wants to catch up with her old friend?

Days turn into a week, weeks turn into a month. Still the same routine, leaving me just to be with Rika.

Am I a hotel to be checked in and out? I can't remember when is the last time he told me that he love me. It's always "Don't worry about her".

_________________________________________

My friends saw them both hanging out always but I insist because I trust Yuuta with all my heart. Hell, we both didn't hang out for a month.

It's been almost 2 months. Almost 2 months of crying in my room thinking why it should be like this.

After my friends told me they saw them both kissing in the park, of course, I wouldn't believe them until they sent me a picture for proof. That's when my heart shattered like glass. I couldn't stand this anymore.

_________________________________________

Just when Yuuta went home to our shared apartment, he saw me on the couch as I'm waiting for him.

"You're early" I told him without making eye contact. "Shouldn't you be with Rika at this hour?".

"She's meeting with her friend. And can't I get home early?" Yuuta said as he take off his shoes.

"Home? I thought she is your home?" I said and I feel Yuuta flinched from my words. There is a moment of silence and you didn't give him time to reply. "I guess my friends were right".

"W-what are you talking about? I already told you we're just friends! Stop overreacting Y/N." he shouted.

I laughed at his words without knowing tears already formed in my eyes. "Friends? Friends don't kiss Yuuta! Just— am I not enough?!" I shouted, already meeting his eyes and I feel my cheeks getting wet.

He didn't say anything as he was shocked and maybe still thinking what to reply.

"Each day goes by and each night I cry, somebody saw you with her last night" I whispered as I cannot use my voice properly from crying. "You said you love me and will never hurt me".

"Y/N, I do love you and I will never hurt you—"

"But here we are, you already hurt me" I cut off his words. "I should have known that you still love her," I said as I cover my face with my hands. I hate myself for crying because my tears will not stop flowing. "You swore to only love me 'till the end" I cannot handle this anymore.

He walks closer to me "Y/N, please–" I smack away his hands before he can hold me.

"How- how could you be so reckless?!" I close my eyes shutter as I can't bring myself to look at him. "How could you be so reckless with someone's heart?".

"I'm... I'm so sorry, Y/N" He stands up. "Know that I do still love you... It's just— things aren't the same" he said before leaving the apartment.

As I heard the door shut, I couldn't bring myself but cried my heart out. I guess I should cope with the pain, huh?

_________________________________________

Note: sorry if there's a wrong grammar :') English is not my first language.

[acurlygirlamy1]

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER:

Moved to North Dakota this fall. We heard that summers are fun and winter is beautiful. We think there is no more beautiful a place in the whole world!

December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic, we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.

This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God! I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but. they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob-who has a plow on his truck-for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23 - Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago. She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling, and then he comes down the street...at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents...but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to feed her through a chipper shredder.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $4,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed ???

-Author Unknown

[kairiscorner]

bc i have no life, i made (and will expand):

dialogue prompts list or something

REMINDERS! imma use these on fics if y'all want, though you guys can use these too for your own fics, just make sure to give me credit and tag me, attaching a link to this post is also appreciated if you use this ^^

(btw, i can also repeat some prompts, though please be patient, i might not be able to post so much this month ^^'')

1.) "you're a bad influence on me, y'know that?" (miles 1610)

2.) "yeah, i risked my skin saving you. i don't care if you wouldn't do the same for me, i'm not you."

3.) "mind using your eyes AND brain next time?"

4.) "my heart beats all the time, shouldn't be a big deal, but i can't help but notice how loud the beating is when you're around." (teen!gojo)

5.) "never really understood poetry, but when i read a few lines from this... you were the image that came out of the words." (noir)

6.) "if you really wanted to drive me insane... you'd hold my hand for more than 5 seconds, then you'll see me insane with love." (noir)

7.) "please, for the love of GOD, never shut up."

8.) "my hands are cold... wait, what are you doing, i thought you brought mitt--never mind, this is nice."

9.) "something tells me you aren't happy about it. and something tells me you'll be angrier if i keep asking. it's okay, take your time. just know i'll be right here for you."

10.) "if you can't believe me, then i'll have to show you that i'm serious about you."

11.) "sometimes, you don't have to worry about loving me enough--you do that too much already. what you should worry about... is giving me too much love that you forget who you're supposed to be loving first: you."

12.) "man, after 5 shots of whiskey and a good laugh, i think i've made up my mind--you're gonna be the one i'll marry." "we just met." "and i just fell for you."

13.) "they came to get their shit back without even getting their shit together, how nice."

14.) "i would've thrown a brick in your window if you didn't answer, and y'know, i was going to, but then i remembered you hated getting stuff on your carpet so i left and did it in my mind."

15.) "i want a platypus. and yes, i want you, too."

16.) "your place is filthy." "it's gonna be yours too, one day." "you mean ours."

17.) "why are my eyes gross right now?" "it's... you're crying." "nu-uh." "y'need a tissue?" "yes please"

18.) "you're so stupid, and reckless, and a literal danger to my very way of life--and yet i love you to bits!"

19.) "if i could just go back in time and see you again, maybe then i'd tell myself to love you for a long, long time. even if i never knew it at the time, i regret all the years we've lost together, i regret living my life without you in it."

20.) "now before you ask why i beat the shit out of him in the locker rooms, it was because he was gonna ask you out before i could, okay?" (soccer captain!miguel)

21.) "i am a fully grown adult. i am capable, i am independent, i am strong-willed." "and you lose your shit when you see me come home with a mcdonalds' kiddie meal."

22.) "nobody loves me..." "..." "ahem, i said, NOBODY LOVES ME" "and i'm nobody?" "yay"

23.) "i just wanna bash their head in, but... it's so distracting. their eyes get me lost and i'm, i'm out of it."

24.) "man, they're a lost cause. and yet i keep busting my ass trying to save them. i love being your spouse and curse being your spouse, dammit."

25.) "i wanna kiss... right now... but my spouse'll... hate me." "i am your spouse." "oh damn, then you'll... hate me if i... if i kiss your pretty face, love..."

26.) "go to bed right now." "no." "i guess i'll give your plushie all my kisses." "ok on my way."

27.) "again, would it be me or them? me who's been with you this whole time, me who's took you in when you're so used to being refused, me who's... who's loved you, all this time?"

28.) "where are my--" "keys? here, scatterbrain." "damn, i'm so glad i married you."

29.) "kids, go to your room." "as your co-parent, i say protect me from the dragon about to breathe fire on me."

30.) "i may be his wife, but i'm not his lover."

31.) "i think you have me confused for someone else."

32.) "it's because i care about you that i push myself away, don't you get that?"

33.) "we'll never be okay again, will we...?"

34.) "the noises in my head keep getting louder and louder and louder, but only you... only you help calm them down."

35.) "oh, i get it, fine. i'll fuck off."

36.) "i want that though." "it's a waste of money." "you got it for me anyway."

37.) "how could you say i don't love you when all my life, you're all i come home to and kiss a good morning and good night?"

38.) "what a stupid man i married."

39.) "don't... fucking move... not unless you want me to do it..."

40.) "you went in my ROOM?"

41.) "i accidentally broke the bed."

42.) "i love you." "what?" "ah fuck, i mean, i'll see you."

43.) "GOD, I HATE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH." "is that why you draw you and them kissing together all the time?"

44.) "i can make a mean burned down house and scorched lawn."

45.) "i'll admit it, fine, i can't win your heart. because your heart isn't any prize to be won, you're not an object. you're... you're you. and i LOVE you."

46.) "what, why're you staring? can't handle how hot i am?" "no, it's just that you've got a shit-eating grin on your face i'd love to punch off you."

47.) "i actually hate summer vacation... i won't be able to see you everyday for 3 whole months."

48.) "ooh, you drank from my cup, you know what this means, we had an indirect kiss."

49.) "just tell your crush you like them already and stop being a big baby about this." "okay, fine. i like you." "wait--"

50.) "i know it looks stupid, but... i tried."

51.) "it's funny, because i had you in mind while making it."

52.) "you think infinity is real, or... are we just living every day hoping tomorrow will come, despite all odds?"

53.) "you're so fucking stupid...! stupid, stupid, stupid... why did you... dammit, why?"

54.) "i don't even know who i share my bed with anymore."

55.) "bite me and get what you want, what we both want."

56.) "we'll never have to see each other again after this."

57.) "quit making promises you can't keep."

58.) "tell me to shut up one more time. go, i'm waiting."

59.) "ah, sorry, i... oh, your hand's really soft."

60.) "what are you doing?" "just capturing the moment in my mind when i'm with the most perfect person in the whole multiverse."

61.) "and you know what your problem is? you can't stand seeing me happy, that's your fucking problem."

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/731506695576109056/i-recently-came-across-an-anti-ao3-blog-and-the#notes

I used to be one of those people who believed that age-gap ships groom people, because I'd been in the fandom for one where I saw 20-something adults using it to convince teens that romantic and sexual relationships with them were normal, and other people following those blogs responding with "aww there's nothing wrong with this 23-yro 'dating' a 13-yro age is just a number!" and it grossed me out and turned me against that ship. The vast majority of people into that ship weren't like that, but there was enough in one particular community that concerned me about how a ship like that could be used for something like that.

What convinced me otherwise was staying in fandom and seeing that - sadly - grooming occurs in all corners. It occurs in fandoms for ships that have nothing "concerning" about them. It occurs in gen fic fandom. It occurs in corners of fandom that have nothing to do with fanfiction - in fact, IME, that's where it tends to happen the most, as those are the corners of fandoms with the most cis dudes who seem to do the most grooming. Groomers are opportunistic. Sure, if you're both into a ship where it fits the narrative they want to sell about adult/teen romance being "normal," they'll use it, but if it's not that, it's something else. Simply being into an adult/teen relationship in fiction is in no way "enabling grooming" any more than any other fandom activity is, if you do the right thing and when you see a real 23-yro trying to have a "romance" with a real 13-yro, you call that shit out, alert authorities if you know enough to do so, rather than excuse it with "age is just a number."

I'm not sure there's really anything in fandom that "enables grooming" other than that fandom is a community where it's not considered unusual for teens to be friends with adults. I'm not sure how to "fix that" given that I know a lot of people have had positive experiences of those inter-generational friendships, as the adults they talked to were not creepy or boundary-pushing. Perhaps for fandom circles to do more to educate younger people about what kinds of behaviors in adults are inappropriate, and also to self-police, call out when you see adults becoming inappropriately close to teens, making inappropriate requests of them, etc.? I do have to say that as someone in my early 30s, I am fine sharing general spaces with teens but can't really see wanting to become close friends with someone I feel like I have so little in common with as far as life experience goes. It kind of weirds me out if anyone my age is becoming besties with a 16-yro and would automatically raise my red-flag radar.

But even then.... a few years ago, one of my fandom friend groups had to kick out a guy in his late 20s who turned out to be sexually assaulting people and grooming teens. And we had no idea about it, because he kept that friend circle where he was doing that completely separate from the friend circle I was in where we were all closer to his age or older and where he played the role of a good male feminist who supports rape and abuse victims because he was one too (his "rapist/abuser" turned out to be one of his victims that he was using DARVO against). Of course, he used his friendship with our group (which included a lot of BNFs and professionals in the industry) to make the young people in the other group feel like they wouldn't be supported if they spoke up. Thankfully, a few of them didn't listen, since he was wrong. But without someone having done that.... we would've had no way of knowing about what this guy was up to. He was talking to these people on different Internet spaces, at different cons, etc. On the one hand I was proud of my group for all kicking him out when we found out, but I also felt kind of powerless, how long we might've not known if a few of his victims hadn't decided to ignore his threats and speak up anyway.

--

[mayaheronthorn]

rank the Shadowhunter couples from best to idc about them and why?

Amazing!!! And I will probably get hate 🤣🤣🤣

1. KitTy - what a surprise huh?! But you could tell 🤣 and I actually explained it in my last post!

2. Herongraystairs - YES, I AM NOT DIVIDING IT AS WESSA AND JESSA BECAUSE THEY BELONG TOGETHER, change my mind (YOU CAN'T) This was the first time in my entire life when I read a book and couldn't decide which love interest I prefer, so I just didn't 😍 I can't believe how cc wrote them so perfectly, truly peak

3. Thomastair - I had a hard time deciding if they are nr 3 or 4 but I feel like I prefer them slightly more than nr 4 BECAUSE Alastair is so incredibly brave. After all that happened with his father, he still did everything to protect Cordelia and Sona. His character development is one of the best in the whole tsc. And Thomas my sweet summer child 😭 his kindness is out of this world. TO THIS DAY I remember those fucking Paris dates 😭😭😭😭

4. Malec - Cc can really write her mlm couples. Their devotion to each other 🥺 I will forever remember that Alec was the first shadowhunter Magnus ever dated because well he was a Downworlder but Alec saw so much more in him 😭 ok I'm gonna keep this short cause it will take me forever to answer 🤣

5. Gracetopher - YES I KNOW IT DIDN'T HAPPEN BUT IT HAPPENED IN MY HEART. In my mind my little asexual genius couple live happily ok? Grace is such a misunderstood character, she's a child of abuse, she was made to do so many bad things, manipulated as hell but she still wanted to change and be good. And Christopher 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 MY POOKIE I CAN'T SPEAK ABOUT HIM CAUSE I'M GONNA CRY

6. Jordelia - Cordelia was, is and always will be THE bad bitch. The ending of chain of gold when she told EVERYONE that she and James were fucking? ICOOONIC. But she's the bravest baby ever. James is this cute and gentle young man but in reality he will kill you 😍 they complete each other PERFECTLY, the tension between them in chain of iron changed me as a person, I will never be the same. ALTHOUGH they would be so much higher if not for chain of thorns... Like... This book just destroyed so many things I can't ☠️

7. Blackstairs - The tension between them when Emma was "dating" Mark, oh good god glorious. You know, Julian actually reminds me so much of James but he's SO MUCH MORE DISASTROUS, he's a fucking menace and I love that. His sexy brain did things to me 😎 Emma, my second bad bitch (I guess Cortana wielders are all that way) killing a Rider of Mannan??? I'm a goner for girl fighters. MY NEXT JACE HERONDALE. Julian will forever need Emma and Emma will forever need Julian 💕

8. Markkierantina - My poly cuties 🥺 it was the same as with herongraystairs, I couldn't decide if I want Mark with Cristina, Mark with Kieran or Kieran with Cristina, but cc corrected her mistake with herongraystairs and made them all smash. Amazing. Cristina was a key to make Mark and Kieran's relationship work, that's all I'm gonna say

9. Clace - That will probably surprise some of you but I kinda lost this clace magic along the way of reading tsc. I absolutely love them as characters and Jace is one of the funniest bitches. Idk, I don't feel it as much as I used to. But well I was 13 when I read tmi and now I'm 23 so 🤣 I still remember that 4-6 tmi books broke me emotionally so I have this great sentiment for Clace but we have many more couples that I love more 🥺

10. AriAnna - I fell in love with them when I read gotsm and I rooted for them SO HARD in cog and coi, I couldn't get enough of that tension. And then cot happened.... It felt like cc just decided to drop them, gave them an easy ending just to get rid of them... So I was greatly disappointed. And I know that if not for cot they would be higher

11. LucieJessie - Honesty (and I say this with great sadness) I was bored reading their story in cog and coi, they were just so bland to me, I don't know 😭 BUT cot made everything change. When Jessie came back to life he was SO FUN TO READ I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! I loved them and I'm sad that it wasn't like that from the beginning

12. Sizzy - I know, I know. But I never felt them 💀 I mean, yes I love them together and I love their characters but I don't see the magic 😭😭😭 I WANT TO

13. GwynDiana - Oh they were SO IMPORTANT TO ME 😭 I adored every minute but they didn't have much chapters so 😫

14. GideonSophie - Honestly I read tid years ago and I don't remember shit, I know that I liked them and Gideon was a babe to her 💕

15. CecilyGabriel - Same as 14, I don't remember shit, but I know I liked them less than Gideon and Sophie 💀

I hope I didn't forget about anyone!!

[leebitkitty]

list of skz nsfw prompts!

minors DO NOT INTERACT with this content

note: thank you all so much for 300 followers! i srsly do not know what to say, i can't believe yall still scroll thru my content even tho i'm barely active. i will try my best to be more active from now on, as an apology for my absence and gift to my followers, i present to you a list of skz nsfw prompts :)

2nd note: not all of these prompts are mine!! cr to: @fight-me-m8 and @httpseiki !

how to request? pick the number of the prompt + pairing(s). please tell me in the ask if its gn!reader, fem!reader, or gn!afab!reader and if you don't tell me any of these, i will write for gn!reader. multiple members are allowed. next, pick the dynamic. (i.e the sub/dom/switch)

please reblog to spread and go crazy in my inbox!!

1. "caught ya, kitty."

2. "honey, you're perfect.

3. "oh, you are not wearing that."

4. "you're not.. wearing anything under that.. are you?"

5. "oh, please.. touch me already"

6. "god, you're so sickeningly beautiful"

7. "oh, fuck, it's huge."

8. "you're sitting on my lap, we're friends, and im hard. i'm sorry."

9. "p-please.. i've been so good!"

10. "beg for it then."

11. "next time, say that when i'm inside you."

12. "fucking shut up and take it!"

13. "you don't deserve it after being a brat, do you?"

14. "stop dancing like that or i'm going to cum in my pants."

15. "so needy, huh?"

16. "come and sit on my cock"

17. "i'm going to fuck you so hard you'll forget about that dumb asshole."

18. "that was the first time i'd heard you moan.. it was like a melody to my ears."

19. "i'm done being just roomates."

20. "fuck! im sorry! i shouldn't have entered.."

21. "fuck yourself and let me watch."

22. "should i give you a massage?"

23. "bold now, are we?

24. "why don't you come and join?"

25. "you just look so fuckable in my shirt."

26. "it's late, shouldn't you be asleep?"

27. "i'm going to cum if you dont stop."

28. "how was your wet dream?"

29. "stop." "no.. no fuck i can't"

30. "fuck, we really shouldn't be doing this"

31. "your brother is right outside.."

32. "let me show you just how much i love you"

33. "fuck, i can't cum like this."

34. "we're in public, honey.."

35. "ugh.. it's too early.."

36. "i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to cum in my pants."

37. "why are you worrying? thats so cute, it turns me on."

38. "fuck, i'm hard again."

39. "let's start off with touching here.."

40. "i'm sorry, i've never done.. you know.. this before."

41. "whimpering like a puppy in heat aren't you? dumb dog."

42. "yeah? you like that? you like when i touch you there?"

43. "you're mine now. never see that asshole again."

44. "fuck! it's too much.."

45. "the only thing you're getting is my thigh. c'mon, fuck yourself on it."

46. "fuck, i really need you right now."

47. "can't wait to come home to you and fuck you till the last thing you remember is my name."

48. "if you wanted me so bad you should've said it."

49. "what did i say about breaking the rules?"

50. "how about you beg for it first?"

51. "yeah? you want me to breed you? to fill you up with my load?"

52. "let's save water by showering together, baby"

53. "n-no! it's too sensitive t-there.."

54. "i'm sorry i just couldn't wait any longer.."

55. "a-ah! please, i need you so bad, i've been s-so good!"

56. "once this meeting is over, i'm going to get you back, brat."

57. "so is it me or the game, baby~"

58. "what a slut. screaming like a whore under me as i fuck your brains out."

59. "you thought i was asleep? you thought wrong."

60. "cum for me again, i know you have it in you~"

61. "does it get you hard knowing our friends are 10 feet away?"

62. "i came so hard last night just from a picture of you"

63. "stop being a fucking brat and move your hand."

64. "you're driving me crazy right now, you jerk."

65. "i love you."

© leebitkitty, 2023

[dxncingwithastrxnger]

Lexy's Christmas Sleepover!! (Attempt #3)

Hello, everyone!!!! It's that time of year again!!! Now, I know that in the past two years, I haven't been very reliable at getting out my Christmas requests, and I greatly apologize for this. But in previous years, I've also tried to make myself write a bunch of full length one-shots which for me usually means 3k+ words, SO, this year, I'm gonna go ahead and say that I can't guarantee a full length one-shot on every single request, BUT I will at least write a drabble for any requests sent to me this year!! I can guarantee this for sure!!!

NOW, Since I'm a multi-shipper, I will write for mannyyyyy different ships in each of my fandoms and it would take awhile to list every single one of them, SO, instead, I'm going to list each of my current fandoms that I'm comfortable writing for and then you can send me either a ship or a character you'd like a reader insert fic for. Poly ships, platonic ships, and platonic/family groups are perfectly okay as well!!! If you happen to send me a ship or character that I'm not comfortable writing for, for any reason, then I'll let you know, but I doubt that will happen, tbh. So, without further ado, here are the fandoms and prompts!!

[Some of the dialogue prompts I'm using came from this list]

When requesting, please tell me: Fandom + Group/Ship/Character + Reader Gender (If Needed) + At least 1 Prompt (I will accept multiple!). You may request as many as you'd like!!

Duration:

11/28/23 - 12/31/23

KNY/Demon Slayer

Fandoms:

Seven Deadly Sins

Four Knights Of The Apocalypse

Miraculous Ladybug

Riverdale

Bungo Stray Dogs

Marvel

The Vampire Diaries

The Originals

Legacies

Legend of Zelda (Mainly BOTW + TOTK)

Stranger Things

Supernatural

Scenarios:

MHA/BNHA

1.) Decorating The Tree

2.) Dancing In The Snow

3.) Present Shopping

4.) Gift Giving

5.) Wrapping Gifts

6.) Making A Gingerbread House

7.) Gingerbread House Competition

8.) Snowball Fight

9.) Sledding

10.) Mistletoe

11.) Christmas Baking

12.) Christmas Market

13.) Making Snowmen

14.) Christmas Party

15.) Watching Christmas Movies

16.) Dancing To Christmas Music

17.) Going Ice Skating

18.) Christmas Dinner

19.) Making Christmas Dinner

20.) Fake Dating For Christmas Ball

21.) Secret Santa

22.) Both Reaching For The Last Cookie

23.) Making Christmas Decorations

24.) Christmas Carolling

25.) Decorating The House/Apartment

26.) School Winter Dance

27.) Christmas Office Party

28.) Stranded On Christmas Eve

29.) Christmas Drinks

30.) Christmas Photo Shoot

31.) Christmas Tree Farm

32.) Cookies For Santa

33.) Christmas Dress Up

34.) Fireplace Snuggles

35.) Accidental Christmas/Eve Confession

36.) Winter Walk

Dialogue:

A.) “Stop trying to get me to walk under the mistletoe.”

B.) "That should be our Christmas card this year.”

C.) “Why’d you turn the music off?”

D.) “I know we said no presents this year but…”

E.) “I hate Christmas shopping.” - “I love Christmas shopping!”

F.) “Do you want to put the star on the top of the tree?”

G.) “What do you think? Like the tree?”

H.) “Open your stocking!”

I.) “It’s snowing!”

J.) “What are you doing?” - “Making a snow angel.”

K.) “Do people even use nutcrackers?”

L.) “Do you still believe in Santa?”

M.) “You’d make a cute elf.”

N.) “Look! Reindeers!”

O.) “Is that supposed to be a snowman?”

P.) “Do you have any carrots?”

Q.) “This is the best gift you could’ve given me.”

R.) “You have snow on your eyelashes, looks cute.”

S.) “Come here by the fire.”

T.) “Please don’t make me wear this, I look ridiculous.”

U.) “You’ve really made my Christmas this year.”

V.) “I thought you were going home for Christmas.” - “Well, I couldn’t leave you all alone.”

W.) “I’m never letting you convince me to go carolling again.”

X.) “Here, you can have one of my gloves.”

Y.) “What are you wearing?”

Z.) “Did you get us matching pyjamas?”

AA.) “You look so beautiful in the snow.”

BB.) “It’s bold of you to assume I haven’t eaten my entire advent calendar.”

CC.) “Christmas hot chocolate is not normal hot chocolate. Where are the marshmallows?”

DD.) “Smell this candle, it’s amazing.”

EE.) “Aren’t you going to write your letter to Santa?”

FF.) “I’ll let you sit on my knee.”

GG.) “You’re my Christmas angel.” - “Wow that was…intense.” - “Just take the compliment.”

HH.) “But I wanted to be Santa this year!”

II.) “Did you make me a tinsel crown?”

JJ.) “I can’t get the star on, would you give me a hand?”

KK.) “Looks like you’ve had a few drinks!” - “You haven’t had enough if you’re noticing. Come on, bar’s over there.”

LL.) “Will you make me a hot chocolate?” - “Name all the reindeer and I will.”

MM.) "I've never understood the tradition of opening presents on Christmas Eve. Why would anyone do that?"

NN.) "I've hid all of your presents where you'll never find them." - "They're under your/our bed, aren't they?"

OO.) "Someone ate Santa's cookies last night and it wasn't me."

PP.) "It's Christmas Time!" - "Oh god."

QQ.) "In the name of Christmas Spirit, I demand you come with me."

RR.) "You know what that means?" - "Christmas?" - "Christmas."

[zalrb]

Red White and Royal Blue Review

I'm sorry but as the president's son, wouldn't you know not to get drunk at an official engagement like this?

Is that cake about to get ruined because it feels like the cake is about to get ruined. I didn't see the trailer.

2. Yes, it was ruined. I feel like I should be drunk for this.

3. I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY REPUTATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. I was like what’s going on with Uma Thurman but I realize she’s trying to do an accent. I do not think it’s working.

5. This ... looks weird to me

It almost looks like photoshop, idk.

6. I’ve only been watching this for ten minutes but .. why can’t I remember his name, whatever president son dude, I think he’s the weakest link. The dialogue isn’t as snappy as it thinks it is although I did chuckle at the “you’ll act like the sun shines out of his ass and you have a vitamin D deficiency” but Zahra sells the quick “snappy” wit with more ease than he does. He isn’t comfortable with it.

7. Equerry dude is hotter than both of them.

8. Alex. His name is Alex.

9. Honestly, out of the two of them, Alex is acting like the bigger jackass.

10. Yeah, Alex kinda irritates me.

11. He flirts better with Miguel. Those eyes?

like I know we’re not at the flirty part with Henry yet but I can already tell we’re not going to get the same energy.

12. I don’t think you understand the laugh that came out of my mouth when I saw this

because it’s basically like they each got their own Black Best Friend and I know this is supposed to be like DIVERSITY.

13. “Omg people would kill to come to my NYE party” so far, this is a pretty basic party, sir.

14. So Henry is supposed to be uptight and posh and Alex is supposed to be more carefree, the drunk partier dude, but the thing is, the actor doesn’t come across carefree, he feels like he’s trying to be carefree so he actually makes me feel more uptight than Henry because I’m like, you’re not letting loose but you’re supposed to be the loose one.

15. TO THE WINDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW TO THE WALL! TILL THE SWEAT DROPS DOWN MY BALLS!  AH SKEET SKEET MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, AH SKEET SKEET GOTDAMN!

16. LMAOOOOOOOOO. Honestly, I don’t know if them choosing Get Low as the song they’re supposed to see each other across the dance floor and look at each other longingly is brilliant or terrible.

17. Aww Henry wanted a NYE kiss. Sad face.

18. Henry, I just feel like you could do better than Alex?

19. WE GET IT YOU WERE WORKING CLASS

20. Well at least they’re not Malec when they kiss.

21. He’s reminiscent of a a young Al Pacino -- I’m actually thinking of Al Pacino in Scarface but they did darken his skin for Scarface, which is you know.

22. “He grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football” this line is wasted on these two. Jesus, give it to people with chemistry.

23.

he deserves a better scene partner.

24. I can’t believe I’m not even an hour in.

25. Alex, do some work!

26. Oh, this banter is terrible. People are comparing this to Merthur?

27. Wait, but I want to know which other famous boys he’s shagged.

28. This is probably the most I’ve cared about them so far

29. And he's blinking rapidly to show he's nervous but it should be in the body language, Alex is kind of just standing there. It should be nervous and exciting and intimate and thrilling, it's just ... kind of happening. Like the dude who plays Henry, his back must be TIRED from carrying all of this.

30. Ah yes,

it's giving

but way less intimate.

31. OK. So. I was going to add a screenshot but I was afraid tumblr would block it if I did so when they're making love, Alex -- who I almost called whatshiface -- says "I can't believe how wrong I was about you" and here's my thing with dialogue during sex scenes and I feel really bad for comparing these two movies because no one deserves this but it reminds me of when anons were like please watch some clips of the um, what's that movie series based on Harry Styles fanfiction -- After -- WE ARE GOING TO PAUSE TO BRING ATTENTION TO THE PROCESS I WENT THROUGH TO GET THE NAME OF THESE FUCKING MOVIES:

I typed in movie based on harry styles fanfiction and then Google was like Anne Hathaway and I was like what no, there's another movie based on One Direction fanfiction?? HOW MANY ARE THERE? then I was like wasn't Jughead in the movie? but then I forgot his real name so I had to be like Riverdale cast and it was like Cole Sprouse and I was like RIGHT! then looked up his fucking filmography and it wasn't there and I was like I swear I saw a clip with him in it and then I was like RIGHT, he is a twin so then I Googled his brother's name then I got Dylan Sprouse and then I looked up HIS filmography and got the name of the movie JUST FOR THIS BRIEF MENTION IN THIS STUPID POST and I was like, but anons can't search the masterlist??????????

anyway there's that scene where they're having sex in her office or something and like in the middle of them having sex he's like "SAY I'M THE ONLY ONE" or something and it just made me laugh because his voice is unaltered, he just delivered the line like they were having a regular conversation and that's what happens here, Alex just says this line and it takes me out of the moment because I'm like you're not being breathy or moaning or something as you talk, you're just talking like normal? THEN DON'T SPEAK.

32. But what does Alex do? Is he in school? Is he ... what does he do? I know he wrote a memo that nobody read and will probably end up being a huge meaningful contribution down the line but he's talking about wishing he could help more and I'm like what's your job? Like you can still help people in whatever job you're doing, like are YOU going to hospitals and talking to dying children? Like what's happening here?

33. And he's going on and on about making his dad proud and being someone who can do something but you're the guy who got drunk at a wedding and made a 75,000 pound cake fall. I...

34. Ah he's a law student. Volunteer at a free law clinic then, jesus christ.

35. OK their together texts are infinitely worse. "I CAN'T HAVE SMUT FILLING MY INBOX".

36. I mean, Miguel is a journalist, Alex, I...

37. So I'm guessing Miguel will break the Alex/Henry story. Because duh.

38. HENRY IS TRYING SO HARD.

39. "Dad, what is this music? It's so not the vibe" I'm sorry but I find Alex insufferable.

40. Oh so Henry DOES read nonwhite authors, jfc.

41. Ohhhhhhh whatshisface, Alex, is having the IT ALL MAKES SENSE moment, which MUST happen when the love interest is singing, HENRY IS HIS FOREVER BOO. And then of course, princes can't be gay so even though Henry feels the same way, I'm sure he'll be all I TOLD YOU NOT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME.

42. This movie seems like there'll be a rain kiss in it.

43. "Yeah, he's tougher than he looks." You guys were drinking tequila shots, doing karaoke and playing volleyball, not chopping wood for your only source of heat during winter in the Appalachians. Relax.

44. "You can understand my life a little more" which is cool but what about HIS life, Alex? I don't know I just find him extremely self-centered.

45. IT'S LIKE THERE'S A ROPE ATTACHED TO MY CHEST AND IT KEEPS PULLING ME TOWARDS YOU. Yes, I see the Jane Eyre reference.

46. Aww, he's in the pool with his hand over his heart. I needed a better couple for this.

47. And here we go with the downturn before the uptick.

48. He's trying so hard to be melancholy and this is what we get?

A furrowed brow?

49.

I mean are you? What is this, Stefan about Caroline? Please be serious.

50. Well, there's rain. But they're not kissing.

51. "I flew across an ocean" which would be more impressive if you weren't the president's son, Alex.

52.

You didn't actually storm the castle, though. Who are you now, Damon?

53. This should be way more frenzied than it is. He should be yelling, out of his mind, and Henry should be doing exactly what he's doing now.

54.

Well that's because he's amazingly self-centred.

55. ON. HIS. BACK.

56. Stephen Fry being in this is kind of perfect though. I just wish the movie was better.

57. OK well that's over.

[vanderwoodlings]

If I’m being honest: an Eric van der Woodsen playlist (x)

Tracklist (and commentary!) under the cut

1. “Free To Decide,” The Cranberries. I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide/And I'm not so suicidal after all

1. “Free To Decide,” The Cranberries. I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide/And I'm not so suicidal after all

2. “12345,” Em Beihold. "You need a hug, are you alright?"/“Nobody's loved you much tonight"/Only the mirror tells me I'm fine

3. “Family Line,” Conan Gray. It was really this bit from the chorus that had me going for this one: I'm so good at telling lies/That came from my mother's side/Told a million to survive—but I think there’s really something to the way that Eric just has William written off when he shows up, and that takes a lot of emotional work to do that happens off-screen but I still think about very much

4. “Unsteady,” X Ambassadors. This playlist does kind of just embrace the cringe a little bit and I’m okay with that. Hold, hold on, hold on to me/‘Cause I'm a little unsteady, a little unsteady

5. “Dance Music,” The Mountain Goats. In which I will never be over the stuff that comes up in 2.07 about lily’s various exes

6. “I’m Not a Cynic,” Alec Benjamin. I swear that I'm not a cynic, my glass just has no water in it today

7. “Breaking Free,” Night Riots. I feel violent/Like I'm dying/I feel broken, maybe I'm just breaking free. [sticks a toothpick in the boy’s brain] uh yeah he’s not done yet

8. “Pressure,” Paramore. Seriously tho Eric during the year Serena was gone is so fucked up I wish the show had let us talk about him more. Some things I'll never know/And I had to let them go/I'm sitting all alone/Feeling empty

9. “Wouldn’t It Be Nice,” The Beach Boys. He is gay <3

10. “Creep,” Radiohead. He is gay and depressed

11. “Jason,” BONNIE PARKER. So yeah uh. Asher thing

12. “Shut Up!” Simple Plan.

13. “Inhaler,” Foals. I'm make believe/And I'm up for rent/My head is spent/I guarantee

14. “Hold Me While You Wait,” Lewis Capaldi. So tell me, can you turn around?/I need someone to tear me down.

15. “Blackbird,” The Beatles. Told you I was just going for it.

16. “Cursive,” Billie Marten. And we'll be fine, there is an end/It hurts to fall back again. There’s an ericfic on ao3 that I haven’t actually read, but it’s got a tag about fluctuating mental health and that definitely has the energy I was feeling here—he’s chronically depressed, and that is what it is

17. “Honesty,” Billy Joel. Okay but like. Fuck the UES. Honesty is such a lonely word/Everyone is so untrue

18. “Babel,” Mumford & Sons. Then the walls of my town, they come crumbling down/You ask where will we stand in the winds that will howl. When he says he’ll basically be ten feet away and then literally never appears again

19. “Heart Open,” Kodaline. Always on the outside, too afraid to open up, and talk/…/And you're not broken/So keep your heart open now

20. “Like a River Runs,” Bleachers. I’ve looped back around to thinking about that pre-series year again, a little bit. Tonight, I sit over the parkway/The summer's gone and I'm alone/And I get the feeling that you're somewhere close/And I wanna get up/To the rhythm of your wild, to the rhythm of your wild heart/It beats, been beating since you've gone

21. “Trenches,” Set Your Goals. You're falling in love with the skyline/Nothing comes for free:/Can you put a price on feeling satisfied?

22. “Lost Highway,” Bon Jovi. Yeah, I'm busting loose, I'm letting go/Out on this open road/It's independence day on this lost highway

23. “You Cannot,” Erin McKeown. You cannot cage me, I revolt/You cannot contain me, I bolt/I am not caught because/What I got, got you can't hold, hold

24. “Born to Run,” Bruce Springsteen. Seriously I just find it so interesting when characters actually leave on this show, and it’s even more so for Eric because of all the characters he actually grew up in the UES, and there’s this way that its played as something that traps you, and yet he just basically goes ‘no <3’

25. “Heart lines,” Florence + The Machine. Just keep following the heart lines on your hand/Keep it up, I know you can

26. “We Are Golden,” MIKA. Running around like a clown on purpose/Who gives a damn about the family you come from

27. “everything sucks,” vaultboy, Eric Nam. I really like this one in the way of just… it feels kind of comfortable. It isn’t being all the way up in the way that some of these songs are

28. “Evergreen,” Bears in Trees. But I must possess the thought, that progress is a process/And it ain't one step backward if you rotate your axis/Realize that a slip up is just part of the practice

29. “Hand in My Pocket,” Alanis Morissette. And what it all comes down to/Is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine

30. “Lights,” Journey. California!Eric my beloved

[slayerlevampire]

ask game time and I'm gonna be weird--

Neil Watts with 5, 15, and/or 25

Eva Rosaline with 1, 13, and/or 20

And just 'cause, Dr Robotnik with 21, 23, and/or 26 >:3

Weeeee let's gooooo

Neil Watts

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

- Cancer by MCR, and probably because of our crackship lmfao

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

-SPEAKING OF THE CRACKSHIP, Wattley, of course, (Wheatley from Portal x Neil Watts for those who don't know) if not just for the fun times. Though Rosawatts is a close second because they're sooo cuuuute

25. What was your first impression of this character? What about now?

-He's a loser, and he's still a loser but now he's my special loser. And tragic.

Eva Rosaline

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

- I love Eva because she's a great foil to Neil for one, but that's more why I like both of them, and she's just so cool and collected. A good head on her shoulders, and her fascination for jellyfish is adorable.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or that you think they would use a lot?

- 🥕🍅 carrots because of the replacement cussing, tomatoes because I think if she'd got into memes any she'd do the whole "booo, tomato tomato tomato 🍅 🍅 🍅 " thing often lol

20. What character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

- It's probably boring of me to say Neil, but it's true! They're just, ya know, real great for each other, whether just as friends or maybe more. And maybe I'm biased, and maybe it doesn't help that there's not many titular characters I can see her hanging out with lol

Dr. Robotnik

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

- Ugh, I just love writing for Robotnik in general. (The live action Sonic movies version of him, specifically, that's the version I always deal with for those who don't know.) I do more roleplaying than fic writing, so I'll use that more for my basis, but I adore writing moments he gets to be genuine. Which is NOT often at ALL, lemme tell ya. Whether that's for genuine hatred or sadness or happiness or anything, I love it. I guess more specifically I like describing the way he's looking at someone for whatever reason, eyes squinting or upper lip twitching, things like that. I'm a sucker for imagery. As for what I don't like, well, not really anything lol. I adore anything about writing him.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

- Don't know how to answer this one! I don't really have any pictures of him saved since I have a new phone. I love pretty much any fanart with him in it though!

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!!

- I would have assumed Freebie Question meant you gave me one you came up with yourself, but since you didn't I guess I just get to say what I want lol. So I'm gonna go with my favorite AU! My favorite AU I've ever written him for is a vampire AU where he's a vampire and Agent Stone is his drudge. I have made so many OC's for that AU alone that I have remastered and repurposed since then, too. Second favorite is probably the one where he's a siren but at this point I'm just a sucker for any sort of Monster/Cryptid Robotnik lol. And as for other AU's I've read, there's this really cool (abandoned I believe) fic on Wattpad (shocker) where he's this powerful dark elf. And as for here on Tumblr, I can't pick a favorite tbh I adore them all that I've seen thus far djddjeidjisd.