#I can't believe I wrote this at 23

[darktwistdchaos-blog]

I don't know how it started or how it got to this point. As a child, you think love is nothing but a word. Nothing but something gorwn ups talked about. My ideas of love have altered as I've grown. I mourned the loss of a happily ever after, like all those fairytales I had read. And after the grieving has ceased, I began to search and search and search, for love. It began as early as elevin years old. I fell in love with anyone who gave me a gentle word or simply listened when I spoke. As I said before my idea of love was just that an idea. I had fallen in love at least half a dozen times before my 20th birthday. I was wrong. Those were day dreams. Not real in any sense of the word. I fell for best friends, for the bad boys and for practically anyone. Six months after my 21st birthday he slipped easily into my life and heart before I was concinous that this was it, the final love of my life.  This love, way beyond just a word, would be the end of me, all of me.

[namism]

zoro or law accidentally falling into readers chest 👀👀

(you can skip this req if this is to suggestive)

turbulent seas, turbulent confessions | trafalgar law

➳ categories: canonverse, afab reader

➳ warnings: suggestive

➳ word count: 952

➳ summary: Law decides that he doesn't want to enter the New Year sad and single, so he finally mans up and confesses to you. Unfortunately, chaos ensues.

➳ notes: thanks for the request, and happy new year! wrote it as a little suggestive scenario instead for law since i got too many zoro requests 😟

➳ cross-posted on ao3

"Would you please explain to me why you brought me to the janitor's closet 23 minutes before New Year's?"

If you told a young Trafalgar Law that he would grow up to be a single anxious man, he would believe you. That's why he was sweating buckets from the moment he asked to speak with you in private to the moment he weaved through crowds and locked the both of you inside the Polar Tang's janitor's closet, panting heavily and almost nauseous.

Law is currently wordless as he surmises a decent answer to your question. He was expecting it to begin with, so he prepared an answer beforehand—but the thing is, his nerves got the best of him so he doesn't remember what he even rehearsed in the first place.

"I have to tell you… something," he answers instead. "How do I say this?"

"If it's about Bepo's sweet tooth, don't even bother. I told Penguin to monitor his sugar intake."

"That... That wasn't it," he murmurs.

You blink. "Huh?"

Law sighs. His shoulders fall as he places his head in his hands in distress. You look at him worriedly.

"Captain?" You hold his arm. "What's the matter?"

"Ugh." He groans lowly. He can't believe he's doing this, but Law has a mission to accomplish. "What do you think of me liking someone, (Y/N)-ya?"

You freeze.

He likes someone? You think to yourself. A sharp pain shoots through your chest. Great.

Your hand drops to your side. Chuckling to yourself, you mask the hurt in your eyes.

"If you wanted to ask for advice, you could have just said so." You look around the dim room, nose scrunching up at the musty smell of age-old cleaning products and wet mops. "I would have appreciated it if you didn't take us to this stinking closet. It's so tight in here, and I can barely breathe."

Law grows sheepish at your complaints. He didn't think much about the venue of his confession. He's just had enough of waiting that he grew impatient and suddenly decided that today was the day. It was the final day of the year, and after 26 years of living, he grew tired of having zero luck in romance. If he can't ask you out, or worse, tell you what he truly feels today, he won't know what to do with himself.

"Sorry," he mumbles. "Well? What do you think?"

You lean on the wall across him. You like Law, but who doesn't find their charming crew Captain that way? You aren't deeply in love with him, but it does make you jealous that he's asking you things meant for someone else.

"I think... it's good for you," you answer simply. "Whoever it is, you should shoot your shot."

"Then what do you think of me liking you?"

You shake your head. "What?"

Law steps forward, almost leaning in.

"I like you." As he looks at you intently, his eyes dart from your eyes to your lips, then to your eyes again. "I'm into you, and I would like to take you out."

"U-Um..." you stammer. Law waits for an answer, but his stare pressures you. "Captain, I—"

Suddenly, the Polar Tang tips to the side as the sound of explosives ring about from the upper deck of the sub. Law jerks forward and stumbles into your smaller figure, the abrupt movement of the ship causing him to fall on his knees disgracefully. He tries to hold himself up, but buckets upon buckets scatter about in the closet, restricting his movement.

"Captain, you're, uh, you're pretty heavy—"

"I know, let me just—"

Law tries to stand on an empty bucket once he has a firm grip on the wall, but the submarine tilts a second time and he loses his balance. Your hands fly to his arms to catch him, but Law falls face first into your chest and groans. You moan, but it comes out as a combined sound of pleasure and disbelief as your body heats up in shame.

"Fuck," Law cusses under his breath as he kicks the buckets away and find some leg room in the tiny space. He scurries off you immediately and regains his balance.

"I-I'm going to kill them! What the hell are they doing outside?! It isn't even midnight yet!" you yell out of annoyance as you grip your chest protectively with your hands. You look at Law sheepishly. "Jeez, Captain. You got a free feel, but no offense, it kinda hurt my—"

"Enough!" Law hisses, covering his face with his hat. His cheeks are bright red, and you swear he's physically overheating.

He admits to himself that he enjoyed it. He secretly thanks the commotion outside for giving him an excuse to be that close to you, but he also feels disgusted that he's easy to please.

"I'm sorry. We should continue this another time," he eventually apologizes, deciding it's the best option at the moment. When you don't respond, Law reluctantly reaches for the door.

However, you stop him just in time. You splay your fingers across his broad shoulders, and standing on your tiptoes, you slowly kiss his cheek, then his jaw, then his neck, the skin closest to his Adam’s apple.

"I like you, too," looking up at him, you whisper. "I think it's great that we see eye to eye, Captain."

Law sucks in a deep breath, his mind going numb at your kisses and sincere eyes.

"My room, after we handle this," he orders. "We're going to talk. Got it?"

Smiling to yourself, you nod. You lead him out of the closet to handle the chaos outside, excited for what's to come afterward.

[yujiqi]

match made in heaven

stranger!hyunjin x wealthy f!reader

synopsis: you’re feeling desperate tonight so you decide to look for someone to hook up with on a dating app and it seems you guys could be more than a one night stand

genre/s: smut, fluff

warnings: oral f!receiving, vanilla sex, lil bit of dry humping

wc: 1.7k

a/n: listen to singularity - bts while reading! i wrote this 2 years ago so it’s not that good but i feel bad for not posting so heres a little smth! mostly proofread!

you long for evenings like this. sipping on a glass of wine, taking a hot bath with a rich lavender essence filling the bathroom.

"miss y/n, your food has arrived. shall i leave it here?" you hear your butler from the other side of the door.

"leave it on my coffee table, thank you"

you hear his footsteps fading away. being wealthy is fun. many people say money cant buy happiness but you think that's false. they're just saying that because they don't have money.

you live alone, your butler and the others that do your housework come early in the morning, but by midnight, it's just you. a part of you wishes you had someone to spend your nights with. you’re the ceo of the company your dad owns. some say you were born with a silver spoon. they aren't wrong, but it does bother you how people badmouth you behind your back when you could easily end their career.

you take the last sip of your wine and set the glass down. you carefully step out of the bathtub and wrap a towel around yourself. the aroma of food fills your nostrils. you ordered lobster with a couple other sides. your butler left a new bottle of wine right by it. you usually don't have big meals like this but it’s friday and it’s been a tiring week. you hear your phone ring and you hesitate for a moment. you don't feel like talking to anyone right now. it’s your mom calling. she's always bugging you about how you need to get married.

"hello" you finally answer the phone.

"y/n. what did i tell you about ignoring my calls." she sounds mad.

"you know i'm busy, mom"

"too busy to answer the woman that brought you to this planet?"

"mom," you pause for a second because you really don't wanna do this right now. "i have to go"

"when are you going to get married, y/n" you feel like she can practically hear your eye roll at this point.

"why are you so worried about that when i'm literally the ceo of a company? i'm well off, i don’t need a man" you protest.

"i just think it would be best if you settled with a man, have a kid that will soon takeover the company too"

"i'm going to sleep. goodnight" and with that, you hang up.

you’re 26, she seriously needs to back off a bit. although you do feel you should find a man. you don't want a man to settle down with though, you want a man to satisfy you and pleasure you. lord knows you need it. you can't remember the last time you had sex. maybe 3 years ago? you’ve been so busy, you haven't had time to think about yourself. you look at your phone and can't believe what you’re about to do. you open the app store and type in "hookup apps".

you’re shocked you’d stoop this low, but you’re feeling really desperate tonight. you open the app and it asks for the basics. name, age, city, and a few extra questions. the app is very quick to find matches. none of them interest you until someone catches your eye.

hyunjin, 23, seoul

cool, hes 3 years younger than you but you can make it work. you send a request to him and he immediately sends a message.

hyunjin: into younger guys i see?

me: im gonna be honest... im really desperate rn

hyunjin: oh yeah? dont u wanna know even a little bit about me?

me: not really

hyunjin: i could be an old white man yk

me: the fact that ur saying that alr lets me know ur not

hyunjin: true

me: ill give u my address then

hyunjin: already???

me: i told u im desperate

you send him your address and anxiously wait in the lobby area of your penthouse. you mess with the strap on your velvet robe. you’re not wearing anything underneath so easy access, right? you get a message from hyunjin asking for the gate code. you give it to him and soon you hear the doorbell chime throughout the house. you quickly get up and open the massive door for him.

"woah" his mouth wide open, pure shock on his face

"you like it?"

"i'm not talking about the house, i'm talking about you" he says.

well that's a first. you don't get many guests, but when you do, all they talk about is the house.

"you're bold" is all you manage to let out. he's fine. incredibly fine. the way his long black his falls perfectly onto his shoulders. you notice the mole under eye. how unique. he's also very tall, much taller than you at least. he has long, slim fingers and your mind can't help but imagine what he can do with them.

"do you want a glass of wine?" you ask him

"i thought you were horny"

"i am, i'm just building up to it" you look up at him with those eyes. the ones that make any guy melt. you grab his hand and lead him upstairs to your room. we sit on the couch and you pour him a glass. even while he drinks, he doesn't take his eyes off of you. he looks hungry and you like it.

"this is a nice place you have" he says, setting down the glass.

"yeah, i'm the ceo of my dad's company" you’re not really one to brag so you don't know why you said that, internally face palming. he nods and continues to stare into your eyes. he then looks down to catch a glimpse at what you’re wearing. the hunger in his eyes grows even more. with the way he's looking at you, you don't think you can sit still any longer. you get closer to him. he watches you closely. you look at him and ask,

"what do you want?"

"you" is all he says before placing his lips on yours. he kisses you so slow and sensually, just how you like it. you wrap your arms around his neck and your hand moves to the back of his head. he deepens the kiss, if that was even possible. he adjusts himself on the couch, making you sit on his lap. you can't help but to slightly grind against him due to the lack of friction. he lets out a slight groan into the kiss. so he likes this... good to know.

"hyunjin, please" you breathe between kisses

he only lets out a low moan in response. his hands find your robe strap. he wastes no time unraveling it. you get goosebumps from the cold air. but the second his hands land on your bare chest, you feel hot. he plays with your breasts for a while before breaking the kiss. his lips move to your jaw, then neck, then collarbone. you start to breathe heavy as you wait for him to put his mouth where you want it the most.

he kisses the area right above your left nipple and takes it in his mouth soon after. you almost immediately moan at the sensation you haven't felt in forever. you run your fingers gently through his hair as his face is shoved in your chest.

"hyunjin, the bed" you whisper into his ear. he stops feasting on you and looks into your eyes with that same look from before, but this one more desperate. he hurriedly picks you up and places you on your king bed, white satin sheets. your lips connect again with the slow and sensual pace as hyunjin climbs on top of you. it feels like you’ve been doing this all night but its only been a few minutes. you pull his shirt over his head. he has a slim appearance, but also has visible abs. what a sight. he's so beautiful, you admire him before he starts to kiss down your stomach. he gets closer and closer to your pussy and you want to moan before he even does anything. you like that in this moment, no words are needed. you’re taking things slowly. you desperately want him to touch and feel every part of you. he looks up at you before eating you out like you’re his last meal. with every movement of his tongue, you feel like you’re in heaven knowing you’re far from it. you thrust your hips, shoving yourself further into his mouth. he pulls your legs further apart, trying to taste every inch of you. there's that familiar yet unfamiliar feeling building up in you.

a breathy "hyun m’gonna" is all that can come out of your mouth.

"not yet love" he moves away from your pulsing cunt. you’re about to whine before he shuts you up with another kiss. he sits up to unbutton his pants. he discards his boxers as well. he pumps himself a bit before leaning down to place more kisses onto your lips as if he'll never get to feel them again. he adjusts himself before thrusting into you slowly. gosh it's been so long since you’ve felt something this good. he leans forward onto his elbows, his cock buried deep in you. you feel his breath your my ear. you wrap your arms around him tightly. the way you are right now feels so comfortable. it's like you’ve known him your whole life even though you met 30 minutes ago. he ruts into you deeply and passionately.

"y/n you're doing so good" he breathes out. he holds you tighter, kissing the skin by your ear. his thrusts start to get faster as you both get closer to your orgasm, and your moans get louder. there's that feeling again, except it's much more intense this time. with one final thrust, you both release. it's interesting how you’re so in sync with everything. you don't want this to be your last night with him. you guys catch your breath for a second before he removes his head from your neck to look at you.

"you're amazing" he smiles at you, a sincere one.

"you too" you smile back.

for some reason, it feels like you don't need to say anything else. like you both know what the other is feeling and thinking through everything you just did. it's connections like this that you should cherish. you plan on sticking with him.

"lets stay like this for a while, then get cleaned up, yeah?" he says

you just nod, his hair tickles your chin.

you’ve finally found your match, your match made in heaven.

[ateez-himari]

[241129] DOWN TO THE FLOOR

[KIM TAEHYUNG WROTE A POST]

KIM TAEHYUNG 11. 29 10:35 It's been a while since we danced together, Mari-Ah ♡ I know I'm six days late but I can't believe you're 23 now, you used to be so small and cute...well I guess you still are, just a decade older. I remember when you were so shy you hid behind our backs, now you're making choreographies like this ㅎㅎ You've become such an amazing artist and I'm so proud of you, I'll visit you more often I promise (with more gifts) ♡

See Original (한국어)

KIM TAEHYUNG 11. 29 10:37 Mari used to learn dance from us when she was younger so it was a little strange to exchange roles, but it was amazing to see how confident she's become 🥹 When I came to the KQ building to surprise her, she immediately asked if we could practice together ㅠ.ㅠ Our little tiger is such a hard worker but she plays around a lot too ㅎㅎ

See Original (한국어)

[..VIEW COMMENTS..]

HIMINNIE 🐯 11. 29 10:43 It was lots of fun to hang out like this after a long time oppa! You've gotten so buff that I barely recognized you at the door ㅋㅋ Thank you for those delicious snacks, we really deserved them after such hard work 🤤 Come by again soon, love you! 🩷

See Original (한국어)

....

JK 11. 29 10:45 why wasn't I invited?! Hima said we would do more dance challenges together, traitors ㅠ.ㅠ and you had crepes too ?? we're gonna do a lot more when I get another day off so I don't care 😒

See Original (한국어)

....

hobi 11. 29 10:50 maybe our Hima should choreograph my next comeback ㅋㅋ i wonder how many talents she's hiding up her sleeve. i can't believe you're this old already, you lost all that cute baby fat in your cheeks, how am i supposed to pinch you ??

See Original (한국어)

....

JIN 11. 29 10:57 Ahh I see so this is the energy of youth...meanwhile your poor old oppa can barely keep up with your new comeback aigoooo

See Original (한국어)

likes 2.1M+ • comments 1M+

[daydreamer-in-training]

✨OP Advent Calendar Masterlist ✨

Door 23 - Under the Misteltoe Part 2

Eustass Kid x afab!reader

Word Count: 2.200+

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 (nsfw)

As in the previous one, Kid is an Idiot that can't deal with his feelings at first, which leads to him hurting your this time. You two talk and your emotions finally bubble over.

Themes: Hurt and comfort, softness, confession of feelings, NSFW 18+, afab!Reader, hot makeout sesh, vaginal fingering. Missrepräsentation of Kids devil fruit abilities and bad scottish accents 😔

Notes: The three other commanders are the secret heroes here! 😤I didn't plan it to be two parts, but i take it! Wrote and edited this while preparing for Christmas yesterday and after I was full with good food. I wanted to finish this entry in time, as a Christmas present to all of you! ❤️✨ Uploading this now before i think to much about it again. Also its ma first nsfw story and my first story with several parts, yay!

I wish y’all a happy time with your loved ones! Love you! ❤️✨

Please Note that Englisch is not my first languages ✨ Not beta read, I die like the Christmas Ornament our dog broke yesterday! But maybe I will edit it tomorrow.

Advent Calendar Taglist: @jintaka-hane @stuckinmymind22 @chibinasuu @armiliadawn @pandora-writes-one-piece @eustasscapitankid

This part is 18+ at the End, please proceed with caution

The three commanders knew straight away that Kid must have messed things up with you last night on the night watch. Unfortunately, there wasn't much time to set something else up for you two before the Christmas party tonight, especially with you avoiding each other. Fortunately, Killer had managed to talk to you before it started, to know what had happened the night before.

The atmosphere between you and the Capitain has been strange since yesterday. Of course, everyone had already noticed, but nobody said anything. Kid looked like a ticking time bomb all day, he also avoided you and you avoided him in return.

By now the party was in full swing, the eggnog and rum had already flowed freely. But neither you nor Kid touched the alcohol. You were too nervous to Drink after yesterday. It was time for the traditional gift exchange. Everyone gave each other a little something, which was custom at the Viktoriapunk. It was a wild mess as everyone tried to get rid of their presents and get one in return. You had knitted Kid a scarf because he often complained about the cold weather and wanted to give it to him despite everything. Killer had also encouraged you this afternoon, despite everything that had happened.

It was difficult to catch him in all the commotion, but Wire inconspicuously stood in your captain's way so that you were standing in front of him after all. "Captain! Here, this is for you!" Being able to give him the present you made yourself made you very happy. You pressed the lovingly wrapped Box into his hand, but he looked to the side. You couldn't read his expression. "Thank you. I haven't got a present for ya, I guess I forgot." He replied quickly without looking at you.

Ouch, that hurt. But on the outside, you don't let it show. Instead, you smiled warmly at him. "It's no big deal, you have so much to do as captain, stuff like that happens." You replied quickly. To flee this Situation and forget about it, you quickly turned to Bubblegum, with whom you exchanged your gift and an exuberant hug.

Wire had heard all of this and did not believe it at all, you were being to kind and brave about all of this. He decided to keep an eye on you and maybe try to talk to Kid later as well.

After all the presents had been exchanged, the party continued as usual. You tried to be cheerful and enjoy it, but you found it harder and harder to push aside your feelings of sadness and heartbreak. At a moment when you thought you were unnoticed, you disappeared out of the door with a pained expression on your face.

But Killer and Heat saw you do it. Kid's action from earlier hadn't passed them by thanks to Wire. So after exchanging glances, they roughly pulled the captain aside to talk some sense into him.

You tried to push the tears down, that were swelling up in your eyes, as you walked down the hallway towards your sleeping quarters. It didn't quite work.

This morning, Killer obviously noticed the weird vibes between you and Kid and pulled you aside to ask what had happened. “I’m just so confused about this… maybe I’ve made a mistake with Kissing him under the Mistletoe...” you murmured as you wiped a tear away from your cheeks after you explained what had happened the previous night. “I just hope this will pass”. You wanted things to be as before. You started trembling, so Killer pulled you to his broad chest and slid his strong arms around you. He gently rocked you from side to side. “Hey Sweets… No crying on Christmas-Eve, okay?” His voice was gentle through the mask. “You did nothin’ wrong, he is just a fucking Idiot and his emotional capacity is that of a Seaurchin”. His comment made you giggled into his Christmas sweater between sobs. The embrace of the muscular softie always had a calming effect on you. “He cares ‘bout you, I promise. Kid just needs some time to realize things.” The first Mate mused, as he noticed you had calmed down a bit. After a long moment you separated from him with a sniffle and smiled up at him. “Thank you, Killer. I will not give up just yet!”. The first Mate crossed his Arms and nodded proudly.

Maybe Killer was wrong when he said Kid cared? No, that made no sense to you. You trusted Kid as your Captain and he does care about his crew. But maybe he didn't care about you in that special way you wished he would. You sobbed when this thought hit you.

When you heard footsteps approaching from down the hallway, you immediately hid behind the next door you could find. You didn't want anyone to see you upset over a stupid present. As you wiped away your tears, you realized you were standing in Kid’s Workshop. You scoffed a bit at this dumb coincidence. You turned around to leafe, listening if the footsteps had subsided.

But in that moment no other than Captain Eustass Kid pulled the door open and froze for a moment when he finally found you, then closed it behind him. “There ya are!”, he seemed tense. “Oh, hello Captain.” You turned your head away from him, embarrassed that it was him to find you hiding away with puffy eyes from crying.

As you didn't say anything else, he stood there in front of you, not finding the words he desperately wanted to tell you. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he finally said. You still didn't look at him, afraid your emotions would take the better of you. “Please look at me, will ya?”, he added as he gently took your hand in his and brushed a thumb along the back of your hand. His gentle touch made you look up at him. Your heart ached.

Kids amber eyes were soft as he gazed into yours, a tired laughter passend his lips. “I lied about the gift… I made ya something. I don' know what I was thinkin’ back then”. Kid raised his metal arm as small blue lightning started to surround it.

You watched in quiet disbelief as a little metal figurine flew towards you. He caught it in the air and softly placed it into your hand he was still holding. Your heart was pounding in your chest. “I guess I got cold feet or somthin’. Thinking ya woun't want it anyways after yesterday…“.

He watched your eyes well up again as you inspected the little star shaped memento he had handcrafted for you. Your fingers traced the metal slowly. “It's beautiful Kid…thank you.” your voice was a trembling whisper, but you smiled that kind smile of your, that he loved so much.

“I hate seeing ya cry” he blurted out after a moment of silence, in which you continued to look at the figure and thought about what you wanted to say now. “I never meant to hurt you either!”, his face contorted as he said that. Damn it that was hard to say, but he can't lose you.

“Then…what was that yesterday?” You wanted to sound stern and indifferent. But that wasn't you. Your voice was quiet and trembled as you asked him, afraid what his answer might be.

He instinctively took a step towards you, invading your space as he did so. Carefully he watched your reactions to it, and as you didn't step away, he lifted your chin up. Your eyes fluttered at his touch.

Kids eyes darted between yours and he took a deep breath before saying what he did next. “I wanted to protect ya, Sweets… didn' want ya doing anything you might regret later”, you scoffed at that, but he continued talking, holding back a grin at your feistiness “I’m ya Captain, I don't kno’ If ya only doin' it because I want to”.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance at his way of thinking and shoved him against the shoulder, which didn't really have any effect given his size and your strength. “We are Pirates, Kid! I AM a Piraten! Fuck these stupid arbitrary rules” Your eyebrows met in the centre of your forehead, more out of disbelief than anger. Sighing, you put your hand on his chest, shake your head as you gave up your attempt to be angry. “Why would I kiss you If I wasn't-” you swallowed your next words, instead saying something else. “I am my own person! I decide who I want to kiss myself”.

Kids' heart was hammering against his ribcage. He took your hand from its place on his chest and brought it close to his lips. “If you weren’t what?” he lifted his eyebrow smugly, challenging you to say it. He needed to hear you say it.

A defeated sigh left your lips, this man made you weak “If I wasn't completely convinced that I like you and trust you completely.” your face went hot at your confession, but your eyes never left his.

A rough laughter tumblerd over his lips before he pressed them to your hand. His metal arm pulled you close and you let yourself fall against his chest. Your eyes searched his face as he leaned down close to you. “I was scared ya reject me…” he whispered, his arm gliding up your back made you shiver. “Ya make me crazy” he leaned his forehead to yours as he closed his eyes, yours falling shut as well “ya make my heart soar when ya smile at me”.

You turned your head to brush your lips gently against his. “I want ya close ta me, always”, he whispered. At his words, you took his face in your hands and pressed your lips firmly against his. He immediately returned this in an initially cautious kiss, which very quickly gave way to his passion and became more heated.

He lifted you up easily and you slung your legs around him. A soft moan slipped past your lips as his tough started exploring your mouth. He carried you to his workbench, where he set you down without interrupting the kiss.

His warm hand roaming your body, pulling at the fabric of your clothes while you got rid of his harness and shirt. Finally you were able to let your hands glide over his muscular chest and abs. You broke the kiss, out of breath from the passionate kiss to take him in. He was breathtaking. As his eyes took you in hungrily, he slid his hands under your shirt, looking at you questioningly. You nodded and lifted your arms to help him take it off. He breathed out a soft Oh, as he saw your exposed chest for the first time, as you didn't wear a bra underneath. It made you giggle softly.

“Are ya sure ya want this?” your captain asked in a hoarse wisper. His fingers were tracing the exposed skin on your side , itching to go higher. You placed your hands on either side of his face and placed your lips on his nose bridge with a smile. “I am sure, Kid. I want you with me, and on me,” your lips glide down to his lips “and inside me.” you whispered into a hungry kiss. The bold confession made you blush and unleashed a hunger in Kid. His right hand cupped your chest and massaged it gently. In turn, you arched your back, moaning for more into his mouth.

Done with patience, Kid let go of your breasts and ripped your pants off quickly. With a soft tuck on your lips, he let them go to watch, as he pulled down your underwear. Your wetness has made it through the fabric, it left a thin connection to your skin as he pulled it away. “Fuck”, He breathed out, his eyes almost gleaming with lust. “So wet, so beautiful…” he mused as he gently started to toy with your folds, making you shiver. “and all for me?”. You mewled, as he teased you, biting your lips. “Yes Kid…all for you” you said, with that soft smile that made him crazy.

He inserted one finger into your entrance, earning him a whimper from you, and then quickly a second one. He watched you closely as he started pumping in and out and rubbing inside you to figure out the best way to make you feel good. Your desperate moans and mewls stroked his fire.

Kid growled, his hard cock pressing uncomfortably against the inside of his pants. You rubbed him through the fabric at first, now opening the zipper to pull him out. Your nimble fingers where circling his cockhead. He moaned against the skin of your neck, biting and kissing the soft flesh to leave marks there. “Shouldn't have said that, Love”, his low voice gave you goosebumps. “I will make you mine”.

.

[lynnlovesthestars]

Scars.

Pairing: Astarion x reader Genre and warnings: angst, lots of it, hurt barely any comfort, allusions to sexual assault, past trauma, graphic description of torture, kidnapping, blood, violence, set in act 3, mention of death. Notes: not proof read ngl, i wrote it after dreaming it, and i didnt even wanna read it again, i cried like a bitch cause it’s kinda like…. past experience projected? just yeah dont ask if im ok after writing this, the answer is no lmao... also just a side note since it’s the first time im posting on this profile, but english is not my first language so please be mindful about it. Edit 10/06/23: i finally went through it end edited it.. i hope i catched all the errors cause idk if i'll ever be strong enough to give it another read ahah

Getting so close to someone meant so much for Astarion, and the more he cared, the more new fears would swim through his brain. 

Since you arrived in the lower city, and his bed was no longer cold at night, a new nightmare snuck in.

The idea that Cazador would be able to get to you, and weaponize you against him, made his cold blood run even colder. Several nights you woke up to a trembling and sweating Astarion, as he was begging for mercy. He never explained too much about these nightmares to you, just letting you know it was about Cazador again and again, but he left out the haunting possibility of you getting hurt because of him. On the other hand you believed it was because you were getting so close to the Szarr palace, and Cazador knew about it just as much as Astarion did.

It was the middle of the night when the sound of a broken glass stirred you awake. You looked around you, Astarion still deep into his meditating state, while the others were asleep as well, none of them reacted to the sound like you did. Maybe you just had a light sleep, you thought, and someone in the tavern dropped a few glasses or something. It was when hands gripped your wrists that you jolted up, looking behind you. It was too dark to see, and all you could spot were the deep red eyes, like Astarion's, though they lacked the warmth of his.

A shiver ran through your spine as you realized what was happening, but when you tried to call for the others, you realized how deep in shit you actually were: no sound would leave your lips, like you were silenced.

"There's no need to be afraid, Tav." A deep cold voice whispered so close to your ear. "They can't hear you".

The voice chuckled at your failed attempts to call for Astarion, Karlach or anyone, as tears were starting to pool at the edge of your eyes.

Another pair of hands took hold of Astarion, magical shackles fastened around his hands and feet, just as they did to yours, and then they started dragging you both away.

The deep voice spent the whole travel taunting you with stories of Cazador, how cold blooded he was, and just how much he enjoyed torturing his victims. From one point of view you were already accustomed with such stories about him, but from the other, the idea of Cazador getting hold of Astarion again, made your blood freeze again. You were not going to let Cazador hurt him again. You were set on the idea.

When you reached the corridors of Cazador's palace, the silencing spell finally wore off, though Astarion was still not moving. Terror flashed through your eyes as you wondered if they had already…

"What did you do to him?!" You breathed out as you tried so hard to keep your calm in front of the spawns that were dragging and pushing you through the dark hallways.

The spawn scoffed as he pushed through and through.

"Don't worry, he's not dead" You could feel his eyes rolling at the question, like it was some dumb question you should have known the answer to. "..yet" he added at last.

You couldn't stop your mouth from twitching, between the state of rage that was slowly building up, or the terror of them hurting Astarion.

"What's going on? Can i know that at least?" You wanted so bad to cast a spell on him, charming him into freeing you, but without the use of your hands, you were useless.

"Cazador wants to give you a warm welcome into Baldur's gate" He giggled, as the smell of old blood mixed with the sour taste of the bile threatening to spill from your lips, and you couldn't hold it anymore, and your feelings started spilling out.

You couldn't help then to try and get Astarion free at least. You wanted to shake those hands off of you, to wiggle out of the shackles that bound your magic, but no matter how much you tried, you were like set in stone, unable to do anything but move forward, shed tears, and talk. Or more specifically, beg.

Beg them to hurt you, instead of Astarion. 

Beg them to keep you here, and let your star free.

Beg them to turn you if needed, but spare Astarion's life.

Anything, if it meant not hurting the man that stole your heart with a dagger to your throat.

Quickly you were tossed in a cage, adjacent to Astarion's, and locked in.

The shackles that bound your feet dissipated, as the cage started ascending upward.

It halted in front of an altar, you guessed, that directly faced into the chasm you ascended from. Other spawns, around twenty you were able to count, started taking seats around the edges, sitting all in religious silence on their knees.

Astarion was still passed out, cradled on the floor of the cage, both restraints still tightly bound to him.

"Please, please, please" You cried out as the last bit of your strength was going to be dedicated towards trying to get Astarion free, far away from this place. "Let Astarion go, i beg you" You repeated your plea again, as you saw all those spawns stir from their seats, they wanted to turn their heads, to face whoever was foolish enough to beg Cazador for mercy, to trade spots with Astarion.

Everyone in that room knew what was going to happen, he was going to show them what happens when you disobey, when you run away thinking you can escape him. Instead you were so foolish and blinded by love, that you wanted to take Astarion's place, unaware of the extent that Cazador would go to. Yet you didn't stop, you kept begging and begging until a voice, the voice, echoed through the altar's walls.

"Tsk you just gave me a wonderful idea" the man hummed as his scepter started glowing, and Astarion started stirring awake, he looked around him, his tired eyes quickly widening as the reality around him had set in his mind.

"Let her go, you son of a bitch" Astarion growled as he stood up so quick, and gripped at the iron bars separating him from Cazador. 

"Touch her and I swear I'll spill your guts right here" He spit out of the cage, a symbolic spit cause you were too far away to reach him.

"My, my, our dear Astarion has forgotten all the manners" He cooed as his lips smacked together, his voice so honeyed it was bringing you to the verge of vomit.

You wanted to reassure Astarion, let him know that you were going to do your best to free him, that you were both going to be out of there alive soon, but could you? Could you lie so much to the man you loved? Words were stuck on your tongue, making your throat drier and drier.

You guessed you zoned out for a few seconds as your head was flooded with thoughts, missing the hate Astarion was throwing at his master.

"Ah sweet Astarion, your dear Tav has given us a great idea though, it would be a shame to let it go to waste" He hummed, as the staff light up again, the lock on your cage fell down the chasm, as your trembling body was slowly being dragged out of the cage by magic.

"No, no, no, no" Astarion reprated as his eyes locked on you, falling on the long streaks of tears running down your cheeks as you tried to offer him a sad smile, your lips muttering an "it's going to be okay" while his body was about to give in to desperation, loud sobs echoed from him, as your heart broke at his sight: he was barely standing up now, his hand gripped tight as he screamed through the hall to let you go, to not hurt you, to stop. "This is just a nightmare" He fell on his knees as you were slowly dropped on the cold floor, barely keeping your head up as you realized you were still in his shirt, the one he loved on you.

"Oh dear Astarion" Cazador cooed again as he kneeled in front of you, his cold fingers getting ahold of your chin, to tilt your head towards his. "This is not a nightmare, this is real" His words were like cold daggers through your chests, you knew that whatever was going to happen, it was not going to be fun.

Before you could say anything, Cazador's hand slipped to your waist pulling on the shirt as you flinched away, disgusted by the touch of the vampire in front of you.

But he didn't care, he was swift in removing it, leaving you bare in front of dozens of eyes.

You could hear the rattling coming from Astarion's cage as he attempted to break free over and over again while his chest was about to explode.

He didn't have the right to undress you in front of everyone, he didn't have the right to touch you at all, not when he prayed every night to have the chance to see you bare, to hold you. His thoughts were swinging back and forth between desperation and deep seethed rage.

"My, my I can see why our Astarion has fallen for this little creature" Cazador's compliment almost made you retch as you stumbled back a little. "She even puts up a fight" He chuckled as he lunged forward just enough to grip at your wrist and whipping you on your feet.

Every inch of your skin was visible to everyone, from the battle scars you got through the years of adventuring, to the teeth marks on your neck, down to the stretchmarks that lived on your hips.

A shiver ran through your spine as Cazador’s fingers grazed over the two marks on your neck. “Mh, your blood seems to be sweet enough, right Astarion?” His cruel words hit Astarion through the chest. He was one word away from a breakdown as he couldn’t do anything but witness his nightmares coming alive, not his Tav, not when he would be so careful to cradle you and comfort you to his chest whenever he'd drink from you.

Whatever he was screaming was incomprehensible to you, as all you could feel was the way Cazador gripped and pushed you towards a plush chair, where he sat with legs wide open before dragging you on his lap. You felt so nauseous as he bent you towards the arm rest, making you face the cold grey floor.

You wanted to hear the taunting explanation of what he was going to do, but all the sounds were drowned by the thrumming of your chest and the desperation in your own thoughts, repeating over and over that you were going to find a way out, trying to convince your brain to shut off and dissociate as you were there, like you were just in a nightmare, and you’d be awake soon.

All you could gather was few words like “knife”, “mark”, reminder”, and then “Astarion”. He was torturing him through you, and you couldn’t do anything about it. The worst part in this, was that you were the one that gave him the idea, cause you wanted him to free Astarion, and instead he let it all out on you instead than on your Aster, as a punishment for you both. You cause you were so careless to offer yourself though you didn't know the risk, and Astarion for being reckless and disobedient. Right there, as the dagger pierced your spine, you regretted not whispering Astarion how much you loved him, while you were tight against his chest, when the world around you was asleep, and you had a corner of peace. You always knew what you felt for him, from that moment on the beach, at the shipwreck, and yet you just wanted to tell him in the right moment. But what was the right moment? You might never know, as a broken scream broke through your lips, salty tears flowing free, so much that you thought for a moment that you might have died of dehydration, if the knife wasn’t going to do it first.

He carved and carved over your back, intelligible lines and symbols as you finally understood what Astarion meant when he told you how he got his scars. How gut wrenching the pain was as he couldn’t move, and how Cazador didn't allow a break, and retraced the lines that were wobbly if he moved too much.

“You know?” Cazador asked, as everyone’s eyes were on what he thought was a work of art, your carved skin, while Astarion’s plea echoed over and over in the room. “Our sweet Astarion used to whine just like you” He hummed. “Just a pathetic little child” He spit out like venom as you could barely breathe out few words along the lines of “you disgusting monster”, though you were not sure you actually let them out until, Cazador’s laugh filled every corner of the disgraced altar. Your tadpole writhed as another line was cut at the height of your hips, before, Cazador started retracing the lines and pulling away the skin, exposing the deepest layers of your flesh, the pain was so deep your vision blurred, and you were so close to passing out right there.

You don’t know how long you sat there, you slipped between pain and numbness as Cazador slapped you back to consciousness whenever you'd slip away, you had to endure the agonizing scarring and remember every second of it. He decorated with bloody lines almost all over your body.

You didn’t know what was worse between laying on the raw scars of your back, seeing your own skin being peeled away or the cries and sobs coming from the man you loved. You had to find a way, you couldn’t give up, you couldn’t allow this monster to walk the earth again. You had to do it for Astarion.

You were not sure when he dropped you on the floor, your body barely able to hold itself together as finally you could look around you and towards Astarion. Every face around you was stoic, like they were used to witnessing such spectacle, and they knew what was going to happen next.

You wanted to reach for Astarion, to take him away from the revolting scene in front of his eyes, you wanted to take away his pain, give him the last bit of hope you had, but when you were about to link your tadpole to his to do it, you hesitated. Connecting your minds meant he would feel how dirty, wretched and lost you felt, along with the gut wrenching pain ebbing through your body.

You could barely make out the words Cazador said as his nails dig through your skin again, even when he pulled your eyes to his you could barely read his lips as he said words you just wanted to cancel from your brain. A broken sob regurgitated from your throat as he was going to take the last thing you had. You just had to let your brain go, right? To ignore the teeth dipping in your throat and the putrid hands slithering down your skin, taking away enough blood to barely keep you alive as he took you in front of everyone.  It was no longer just physical pain, it was the way you felt your own body being stolen away and used in way no one ever dared before.

Numbness was all that was left of you after a while, of your barely beating heart while more hands crawled their way through places were you never wanted anyone to touch, then, in that moment, you realized you were free of your shackles, because you were so drained and broken that you could barely do anything. You could barely by aware of your surroundings, of how many bodies were preying on you, as you could barely manage to move inches.

Your vision was all but clear, you could make out the outline of Cazador as he was buttoning up his blouse again. Then you could see Astarion, still caged, struggling to stay sane as he wanted just to take you away from the monsters abusing of you, abusing of the fact that you were powerless in front of them. His eyes were a bloodshot, he was so hurt that he resorted to supplicate for mercy, to let you go and just kill him, whatever that could stop the agonizing pain. You didn’t have much strength left, maybe if you put all of yourself, you could muster two spells before passing out again. 

It took all you had to even raise your hand towards the lock that sealed Astarion’s crate, you mustered all your willpower to cast that knock spell, just enough to let the damn lock fall down. Astarion instantly turned to you, to your teary form still being touched by unworthy creatures, noticing how your hand barely held up, as you tried to cast one more spell, just for him, before another broken scream echoed in the room, bouncing from wall to wall till it reached Astarion's core. The kind of scream that should never be drawn by someone, nevertheless by you.

The radiant dagger materialized in his hands, and for a moment he didn’t notice it as he was fixated on the broken look on your face, encouraging him to end his master, although you suffered right there, paces away. “I love you” You mutter barely, you wanted to let him know before you could draw your last breath, then everything blurred.

Everything was muffled, you couldn’t see what was going on around you, you just felt all the presences around you disappear, while Astarion’s voice was crystal clear through the excruciating pain.

"I'll kill you, then I'll bring you back, and kill you again.” He shoved Cazador on the floor, just like he did with you, to remind him how he hurt you, how he used you, how he touched the only person he should have never laid hands on. “I’ll do it over and over again until you have suffered a tenth of what you did to her. Then I'm going to gut you one more time, and paint this shithole with your putrid blood. The halls of this place will reek with your disgusting blood, to let the whole city be aware of your death and from which the hands it came from” His hands were shaky, but he had to do it. For him, but mainly for you. All that was left of him was you, and nothing could ever be enough to vindicate you.

The shiny dagger stabbed over and over again through Cazador’s chest, while Astarion cursed him, every thrust of the dagger through the heart earned a new mocking insult, a new reminder of what he did, while all of Astarion's anger was channeled into annihilating him.

You just laid there, all you could do was listen to the grunts and the hate slipping from your lover’s lips as he dipped that dagger in the gutted body. You didn’t even realized when he dropped the disemboweled body on the marble, you weren’t even sure you could breathe, at that point.

A pair of shaking arms wrapped around your drained body, Astarion’s shirt was used again to cover your skin, as he picked you up, trying to be as delicate as possible. His salty tears fell over your body as he carried away from the nauseating scene, you frail body barely shivering, and your chest barely moving. He was muttering something to you, but everything sounded foreign at your hear.

He had to move quickly, find Shadowheart or Halsin, or anyone to heal you, to keep you alive. It was in this moment that he wished he could beg a deity to keep you alive, but he didn’t trust anyone else to tend you. He needed to rush outside of this place and get you to safety. 

He didn’t expect to see everyone outside the locked ballroom door, as they fumbled to open the door. They were taken by surprise at the sight of Astarion cradling you to his chest, all covered in blood, while his eyes were a pit of pain and tears.

Shadowheart didn’t hesitate to heal you right there before they all guided you towards the tavern you've been resting. They all offered to carry you, to make Astarion breathe a bit while on your way back there, but he refused. “I can’t..” He mumbled. “I don’t want..” His voice was just a whisper, broken. “I need” He wanted to break down again with you in his arms, but he had to lay you down first, to let you rest in a warm bed, he had to bring you to safety again, away from anyone that could pose any harm to you. He needed to see that smile again, cause no power flowing through his veins could have replaced you. He failed you once, he was not going to do it again. You saved him, twice, he had to do it just once for you. He had to thank you, and he had to tell you how much he loved you.

[earlgreytea68]

LOOK AWAY IF YOU DON'T WANT SO MUCH FOR (TOUR) DUST SPOILERS, OKAY?

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Set list:

(1) That Pink Seashell spoken word thing actually opens the show

(2) Love from the Other Side: I assumed they'd play this first, and they did, and they looked very happy with the reception that it got

(3) The Phoenix

(4) Sugar, We're Goin Down: I overheard two guys when I was leaving saying, "I only came to this show for that Sugar song, and it was the third song they played," whatever to those two guys lol

(5) Uma Thurman

(6) A Litttle Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me

(7) Chicago Is So Two Years Ago: I know they always play this song when they play Chicago but the way the show is set up, there's this spoken intro that references a light being left on in Chicago, and then they launch into this song, and so I feel like maybe it's permanently in the set list for this tour, we'll see.

(8) Grand Theft Autumn: Patrick told the story again of how he wrote the lyrics while jogging with Pete. Here is exactly what he said, because I recorded it, hahaha: "I wrote this song out here, jogging, trying to figure out the words. This was back when I wrote a lot of the words. And Pete was jogging with me and he was like, 'Eh, maybe change this, maybe change this.' Before we knew it he was writing all the lyrics." And then Pete said, "Imagine us jogging" lolololol

(9) Calm Before the Storm

(10) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race: They added a little Peterick-y moment in here? I don't remember them playing at each other during this song in previous performances? It was cute, it was during the instrumental part before Patrick leads the singalong, maybe I've just always missed it? They played it each other and kind of did some kind of kick thing with their legs??

(11) Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes: Honestly, always a delight to hear this song, this is one of my favorites <3

(12) Heaven, Iowa: THIS SONG LIVE, I SWEAR

(13) "The Take Over, the Breaks Over": OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG AND I TOTALLY DIDN'T EXPECT THEM TO PLAY IT, I WAS SO HAPPY

(14) Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet: <3 Guess they got over being scared of playing this one lol

(15) Fake Out: I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I WAS THAT THEY PLAYED THIS ONE OMGGGGGGG. Also, there was some plan I wasn't aware of to, like, hold up cell phones with pink paper over the lights so the crowd lit up pink???? I have no idea who engineered that but it was CHARMING and at the end of the song Pete said, "Thanks for that, guys, that was beautiful," and the stage was on darkness so it seemed absolutely spontaneous on his part and I think they really did like the effect, so, Idk, future shows, keep doing it????

(16) Patrick did some kind of piano interlude where he played "Don't Stop Believin'"????? It was random but he was super charming, I think the rest of the band used it as a break, it was just SO GREAT. Part of his intro was: "Pete was putting together this show and he said to me, 'Hey, you should play piano.' And I was like, 'I kinda only play songs I wrote. I don't really play piano. I don't know how to play piano.' And he's like, 'Eh, you'll figure it out.'" And then Patrick sat down and played gorgeous piano ugh THANKS, PETE.

(17) Last of the Real Ones: I am glad Mania got some love.

(18) Save Rock and Roll

(19) PETE RECITED BABY ANNIHILATION WHAT. I SWEAR TO GOD. I SO DID NOT EXPECT THIS AND I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT HAPPENED. If you're going to the show, pay attention, because I looked away and apparently there's, like, a magic trick at the end of the monologue where he disappears behind a piece of black silk?????

(20) Crazy Train cover: I...don't know what to say about this randomness hahaha but it happened??

(21) Dance Dance

(22) Hold Me Like a Grudge: I think Patrick adores singing this song, I really do.

(23) G.I.N.A.S.F.S.: I KNOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, EITHER.

(24) My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)

(25) Thnks fr th Mmrs

(26) Centuries

(27) Saturday <3

The show ends with a little piano version of So Much (for) Stardust played over the sound system, so pay attention for that.

The set is super Alice in Wonderland-y and I adored it, it's playful and fantastical and has all these whimsical touches and interludes and I just thought it was delightful and at one point there were bubbles, and I heard some people complaining after the concert that the fantasy thing didn't suit their style of music and really, I was surrounded by downers after the concert, I thought they were perfect hahaha. Like, ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. They looked so, so, so tangibly happy, all of them. Patrick sounded fantastic and he looked like he was having a blast, he smiled the whole time.

I have a lot of videos but they seem like they're all pretty terrible, but I'll see how I feel in the morning lol

[rezitio]

:: 𝐏𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤 Ft Gojo Satoru

Nsfw

leak : when you get him so pussy drank he becomes as high as when he was fighting Toji.

artists : gojo Satoru, reader w/ a pussy.

genre : pussy drunk, use of safe word, overstimulation, not mentioned but implied relationship .

━━━━━━━━━━━━

You have no idea how you make him feel. He adores you so much. He's always making sure you're safe, spending so much money on you. He'd destroy the world if anything were to happened to you.

So when you finally decide to show him some appreciation by taking his cock with your mouth, he can't stop praising you.

'God, you doing this all for me huh?' His fingers entwined deep into the tangles of your hair. His eyes rolled back, ' F-fuck'. Like a confetti pop, he released in your mouth once again.

His finger guides a stray drop of his seed off your chin back into your mouth. He pulls out, trying to scoop his semen from his dick when he realised he couldn't even touch it.

'Fuck, see whatchu' done to me?' He grabbed you up and put you on the bed. 'You can't be doing this to me without me doing nothin' to ya.'

Satoru always wanted to make you feel good. He had too. It's the only way for him to truly feel good. Knowing you're messed up, fucked dumb by him, satisfied; gave him true solace.

He brought you to the edge of the bed and kneeled ripping your panties of within a blink of an eye. Your legs dangled over his shoulder as he started to lick, flick, suck, anything to keep hearing those moans eventually getting lost in them.

Pussydrank!Gojo Doesn’t know what limits are. His mind is too far off to hear anything but his own thoughts. It's these very thoughts that prevent him from stopping. How you're such a good girl for trying to please him, how your mouth took him so well even though you've said countless times how he was too big. How he loved seeing you gag at first before you finally got used to his length and sucked him he had to release thrice before pulling out. God you're such a good girl.

He doesn't notice your begging and pleas for him to take it easy till you continuously push his head away with your arms and kick his shoulders with your legs. Unbeknownst to him, you had been begging him to slow down, but it fell on deaf ears. He looked up at you, and the look you saw, this man was not in his right mind. The stoned look on his face, he was at a high no reaching him.

Pussydrank!Gojo with his high stamina and skillfull tongue, he brought you to your limit countless times. You couldn't stop squirting, your legs gave up on you and you didn't feel the pleasure anymore. Your body was begging for rest before it lost its sensitivity, but you didnt know how to reach him, you didnt know how to get to him and the pain only grew so you did what you could only think off.

'Toru- Toru... spon-...' You could barely get the words out 'spongebob...'

Pussydrank!Gojo who finally got back to his senses and stopped what he was doing immediately. Pushing you on the bed gently and whispering a thousand apologies in your ear. He gently cleaned you up and wrapped you up in your robe, getting you water and a painkiller. God he feels guilty. You're gonna have to start comforting this man now. As you two fall asleep cuddling together with spongebob on the tv.

rezitio!

EDITED! Can't believe I wrote this in 24 hours but ok. I was watching the fight with Toji then it just came to me. This is my first post. Planned the whole thing in my head and took it way too far when writing.

:: - 17/12/23

:: - 17/12/23

《kodaswrld for banner》

[butchdiaz]

tagged by @iinryer to do a 2024 fic roundup but i'm adding my videos in too because. uh. its fun to look back! and i want to!

MARCH

american teenager (36s)

my first ever commission! for my best friend bia! to this day i hear do what you want (do more!) everytime i listen to this song.

APRIL

arms (1:02)

this was for seti. and it hurt.

good luck babe! (1:11)

literally never felt euphoria the same since the week of bi buck when i made this. changed the timeline. (although i was so euphoric and excited to post that i cropped in a rush and left a little white line in one of the shots and it pisses me off massively to this day. yes im a virgo thanks for asking)

to open up my arms and give it all to you (2.5k)

my little buck coming out to chris fic with hints of buddie <3 bi buck got me writing again after months of literal Nothing. god bless

one of your girls (3:09)

kirby's vision went OFF. so proud of this one like. its gotta be one of my favs and i feel like it became a bit of a butchdiaz classic which makes me so happy :D

MAY

kill her freak out (1:33)

this video is my little baby. ohhh samia. ouaagh eddie.

scared of my guitar (2:23)

shoutout to the way the dialogue syncs up in this one. rly satisfying to me hehehe. honestly didn't think i'd like this one as much as i do but she hits hard

promise (1:15)

love when people commission me to edit songs im already currently obsessing over yay!!!!!

JUNE

happy to be here (2:16)

julien baker. eddie diaz. aka abby had a mental breakdown making this one.

closed hands, full of friends (45s)

this was my first time editing a song i had Never heard beforehand! 3 cheers for finding new music!!

JULY

l'amour de ma vie (3:26)

ok not to toot my own horn but. this one is good. i feel like i really told a story u know. and about now is when i started to play around with fun/more intricate text ooh ooooh

a burning hill (1:01)

this prompt was designed in a lab to kill me specifically. i wanted to do the whole song originally but i like. could not go on.

my ego dies at the end (2:49)

i reallyyyy like this one. long edits my beloved! i love to build to something. i rewatch this one often tbh. jensen mcrae is everythinggg

AUGUST

north star (2:16)

again, had never heard this song b4 i got this prompt and it got me obsessed with this searows album. this edit makes me feel all soft. rly loved incorporating fleabag into it bc like. fleabag for life. shoutout summerofbuddie for the inspo

feels like (58s)

this song has been on my buddie playlist(s) forever so i was So excited to get this prompt. it was so fun to make something. not depressing and just like. fluffy. fun fact i hand drew all the hearts for this in ps and they were such a pain to work with but i really love how it turned out cause i'd never done anything like that before :')

pink balloon (2:29)

finally made a proper buck amv. after so many eddie ones it was actually nice to switch it up. felt re-inspired! also always so inspired by samia ugh. i am an eddiegirl literally to my bones tho so this was both v hard and v fun to make.

SEPTEMBER

"i want a divorce" / "it was a date" (2:19)

the buckshannon parallels ouuugughhh. this was one of those ones that haunted me so persistently i literally was forced to make it. saw hanna's post and then blacked out and i was posting this.

had a feeling i could be someone (3k)

+

leave tonight or live and die this way (1.1k)

dyke buddie!!!!!!!! these fics are sooooo near and dear to my heart. i love to make everyone wlw! i love to project my butchness onto my fav characters! wrote these so fast (for me) like writing has Never flown out of me like that. i was possessed by the spirit of lesbianism. and. GOD. the response to these fics also makes me want to cry daily. the beautiful art that was created?????? for me and my little fic?????????? i actually can't believe it i love you guys so much. lesbians forever and ever and ever.

did it to myself (1:11)

another one of my favs. i think it slaps so hard tbh. i tried a lot of new stuff and it was so FUN. orla's music is so much fun to edit to i need to do another one of her songs asap.

afraid of heights (2:46)

boygenius wrote this for my friend buck buckley. got entirely consumed by this one. thank u han for being my buckafraidofheights warrior for life <3

headlock (2:23)

i love buck but i remember coming back to making an eddie amv and breathing a sigh of relief. i just Get him. its so easy. this one's underrated i think oop it kinda slaps

OCTOBER

savior complex (3:16)

this one was a rly good challenge and idek why. super happy with how it turned out though i like watching it back

NOVEMBER

funeral bell (2:54)

the buck thesis statement. to me. and such a crazy unique process. loved working w kaitlin on this one and sending her 10 million drafts (she rly got a behind the scenes tour yall and it was not pretty). this was an absolute BEAST to make despite it not even being that complicated. i think i just cared so much about making it perfect for my dear friend who trusted me with her visions and inspiration and that made it all the more special!

you get your dreams for free (14.8k)

drunk cuddling!!!!!!!! my longest fic i've posted to date and i fully thought i was never gonna finish it. i abandoned this last YEAR but im SO glad i came back to it and most of the reason for that is because of the absolutely lovely responses to my earlier fics this year <3 literally hilarious to me that i originally wanted to post this on halloween 2023. abby. abby no.

surrender my heart! (1:30)

post-confessions euphoria + a carly rae jepsen prompt? i was literally in heaven. SURRENDER UR HEART EDDIEEEEEEEEE

DECEMBER

every place leads back to your place (2.1k)

music inspires me soooo much (looks up at this post. no way right.) so i absolutely loved writing based off a song! and a chappell song nonetheless!! so fun to twist a breakup song around to fit Them. i particularly love the kiss in this one <3

oldie's station (3:17)

phew we're almost there! this one is recent but lowkey it feels like another classic to me already. i really really like it. making it felt like cooking a three course meal and watching it kinda feels like eating one :D (thank god) (i spent so many hours in that kitchen)

letter to god (1974) (2:27)

+

letter to god (1983) (1:52)

putting these together bc they are sister songs and sister videos. first time in my life i've worked on two videos at once. it was fun because they kind of grew together and influenced each other very directly. not fun because i ran out of space and my laptop crashed. several times. these felt rly indulgent and raw. kind of shocking to me how perfect both songs feel for both of them. had a lot of fun messing with the voice/video filters to try and place these in their respective eras bc im obsessed with that aspect of the songs. halsey's artistry is crazy yall if u havent listened to her newest album GO. NOW.

the rush of slumber party kissing (3.2k)

posted this literally yesterday lol. also my first time writing smut. somehow. scary! but i did giggle all the way through writing this tbh. when buddie reveal their true nature as silly teenage girls >>>>>>>>>>

SPECIAL SHOUTOUT

fleabag au wip, who saw the light of day again this year. she could be finished in six months or six more years, but she Will be finished. im determined!

<3

ok if u read all that uh. wow congrats fhdhhdh im gonna get sappy for JUST A SEC now cause uh. im actually blown away by the support and love and appreciation this fandom has shown me this past year. you guys have given me so much confidence in my skills as both an editor and a writer and you also quite literally helped me pay my rent. by making videos about gay firefighters. its actually kind of mind blowing to me how lucky i am and i never want to take that for granted <3

to anyone who has commissioned me, or sent me a prompt, or left a comment on a fic, or a tag on a video, or sent me a kind ask, or subscribed to me, or followed me, or reblogged anything of mine this year: thank you.

im so grateful for this little community and all the friends and connections i have made through our collective insanity over a procedural drama on abc (neé fox). yall rock so hard.

<3

tagging @userbuddie @chronicowboy @confessionseddie @try-set-me-on-fire @userautumn @lovelettered @exhuastedpigeon @sibylsleaves @saryasy @team-118 @lemmeaskthedevil @eddiebabygirldiaz if u wanna do any sort of yearly roundup!

[cha-melodius]

2024 Fic Year in Review

My fifth fic year in review! It's always wild to go back and look at how far I've come. As always, feel free to grab this if you want to do your own; I've stitched it together over the years. And thank you to everyone who read my fics this year, whether it was one or all of them.

2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023

AO3 Username: chamel My Page: Link Active Fandoms: Red, White & Royal Blue: 14 works Loki: 3 works The Man from UNCLE (2015): 1 work New Fandoms: The Pairing (CMQ novel; 1 work) Total Number Of Completed Works/Word Count This Year: 23 works, 303k words All Time: 135 works, 1.57 million words

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos): This Year: Trying My Patience (Try Pink Carnations) (RWRB, Alex/Henry, E, 9.4k) All Time: Class(room) Warfare (RWRB, Alex/Henry, T, 7.8k words)

Most Popular Completed Multi-Chapter (by kudos):  This Year: False Dichotomy (RWRB, Alex/Henry, E, 62k) All Time: Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood  (RWRB, Alex/Henry, E, 20k words)

Events/Challenges: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. Gift Exchange 2024, A Royally Big Bang, Lokius Reverse Bang, idk do what you want exchange

More reflections, stats, and planned fics below the cut!

Additional Random AO3 Stats

By number of fics: 79% one shots, 21% multi-chaps

By word count: 69% multi-chaps (nice), 31% one shots

Ratings by number of fics: 48% E-rated, 26% M-rated, 26% T-rated

Musical artists contributing highest number of titles: spread out this year, but Wilco, Metric & Sufjan Stevens came in with 2 each

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?  I was wrong in my 2024 roundup post—I wrote 25k more words this year despite having 10 fewer fics. Which I did NOT expect. I figured I was trucking along to make my usual ~270k, but I forgot about The Secret Fics lol.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?  I think I have to go with Body and Soul(mate), which I'm just so so proud of. I love how it came out and I think it's really original.

Did you complete your writing goals from last year?  The Goal: My goal is to have a similar mix of fics as least year, and also to write my first collaboration with @cricketnationrise, which will be a long multichap. First part, pretty close. I wrote more multichaps (21% vs 15%) this year, which meant fewer fics in total. Second part, oops. Cricket and I have both been busy, but the hockey fic lives!! We'll get to it eventually!

Do you have any writing goals for the New Year? I can't believe I'm gonna say this but... write more original fiction. See below for more on that. Fanfic wise... finally finish some of the planned stories I've had kicking around for a while.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I submitted a pitch for an anthology, was accepted, and wrote my first original story! I had a lot of fun with it and I think I'll purse more next year. Idk if I'm ready for a whole novel and trying to get (more) published, but we'll see.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Even though it's numbers have come up since publishing, I'm still gonna go with The Impossible Soul, aka my Westworld-esque android/human AU.

Most fun story to write: Probably Body and Soul(mate). Figuring out all the body swaps and soulmate lore was a lot of fun and the whole thing just flowed so well.

Biggest disappointment: Why do I keep this question? I hate complaining publicly. 😂 My biggest disappointment is that I sometimes let fandom drama/trends/popularity make me feel bad. Being mad because a fandom loves X type of fic doesn't help anyone.

Biggest surprise: I'm not sure I really had any big surprises this year. Biggest surprise in my stats was that my percent of explicit works is way up—T used to be my most-used rating. Part of that is publishing fewer one-shots, since those tend to be T for me, whereas a long fic is more likely to be E.

Coming soon/planned for 2024: It's a little depressing how so many of these are the same as last year. Hence the resolution above, I guess.

Kissed Out (RWRB pro-pool players AU)

RWRB 1940s noir AU

RWRB conductor/piano soloist AU

RWRB Jurassic Park AU

RWRB rodeo rider/polo player AU

RWRB hockey AU (with cricket)

A shitload of prompts from my fandom fest

Extremely delinquent MTH fics

TMFU art thief/gallery owner AU

Thanks to folks who tagged me in their year in review posts, including @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @kiwiana-writes, and @porcelainmortal

[sunxxxie]

Looking for a Fic

You know that feeling when you find an absolute gem of a fic, so good that in your mind it's actual canon content...so good you have dreams about it and even after *years* it's ever-present at the back of your mind. But when you go looking for it, it's GONE?! Sending you spiraling for several weeks as you desperately scour the web for it. And after several weeks and cryptic dreams about the plot, you feel as if you might be slowly loosing it.

Well, that's my current situation. I'm getting desperate- so desperate that I'm on tumblr.com begging for help(not desperate enough to log into reddit tho). Please tell me I'm not crazy and I didn't dream up one of the best fics I've ever read.

The fic was a Lego Monkie Kid fic centered around Bai He (aka LBD's host) after the events of season three. Itwassowellwrittengodineeditnow.

From what I remember:

Shadowpeach was the main romantic(kinda) relationship mentioned although from the few chapters I read it focuses more on the platonic relationships at the beginning. Also PIF and DBK were briefly implied to be in a poly relationship with an original female character which was cool.

The description was something along the lines of: "Bai He is just trying to pick up the pieces of her life after the Lady Bone Demon is gone. Luckily, she has the help of MK and the others... something something- Wukong noticed the shadows of the male primate circling the island but never having the courage to come closer.." Or something like that.

Bai He my emotionally repressed princess/affectionate. You could tell the author wrote her character with a lot of love. She was an orphan who had been in the care of an orphanage in France(I believe) before she became a street kid in China. There was also this underlying subtext that her time spent in France was during the 90s(the lore bro, the *lore*). Bai He's disconnect between her ethnic background compared to the rest of the gang made her interactions with the main cast really unique.

Lady Bone Demon's relationship with Bai He was portrayed as almost like an abusive/manipulative parent that you can't seem to completely hate because they're your parent and they're doing what they think is the best for you. Chiefs kiss.

Any fic that mentions the nuances of LBD and MK's dynamic instead of watering down her character to that vile evil Witch who wanted to destroy the world>>>>>>

The subtle world building 🙇peak🙇. The story literally began outside the city where the residents were evacuated. This included the main gang who'd basically already taken Bai He in. There were passing mentions of other mythological pantheons. Plus references to the JTTW.(the author mentioned something about Wukong having descendants which was mind-boggling to me- ik it's inaccurate but whatever.)

Monkey King basically got custody of Bai He and he took her to Flower Fruit Mountain to watch over her condition.

The author detailed Bai He's struggles with her past and her present situation as she was no longer fully human.

Nahza(my goat) was there, living up to his role as protector of children.

The closest fic I've found is 'A Bone to Pick' by SmilesThroughFandoms but the vibe is off. It isn't the same.

It was incomplete with more than 20 000 words and posted somewhere between late 2022/23.(this was the general time frame I read the fic before loosing it. In my defense I (a) didn't have an ao3 account at the time and (b) I was reading it in incognito mode🤡)

If anyone has any information about it please please please please please tell me.

[blue-disco-lights]

✨ AO3 Wrapped 2024 ✨

I can't believe we've reached the end of the year. It's been a beautiful treasure trove of fics and art this year, thank you to all the creators! And thank you for tagging me in this trip down '24 memory lane @energievie @mybrainismelted @jrooc @suzy-queued @sgtmickeyslaughter.

1. How many words have you written this year? About 35,000 total fic words + 5,200 @galladrabbles ones for every week of the year!

2. How many works did you publish this year? 9 including my currently-cloaked Masquerade fic.

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits) Might be Groceries that I wrote for last year’s Masquerade, where Mickey wanders the grocery store thinking about the history of their relationship.

4. What work of yours has the most hits? 100-Word One-Shots which is my drabbles collection. But fic-wise, it’s Camp is a Battlefield, co-written for Gallavich Summer Camp.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? The Night Shift probably, since it was just a shorty fic I tried for AUgust.

6. Favorite title you used. Camp is a Battlefield since it’s a funny play on words with our favorite Bon Jovi anthem that also spoke to the whole theme of the story.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist's songs did you pull from the most? I’m not great about using song lyrics, so it’s always a fun challenge when they’re our Galladrabble prompts. Two of my favorites this year were “Do You Wanna Dance” and "Crash Into Me".

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Ian & Mickey 

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Ian and Mickey… of course 

10. What work was the quickest to write? And one of the most fun - The Housewarming Party written as a gift for @runawaybrainsc (for the @gallavich-fic-club Secret Santa).

11. What work took you the longest to write? Maybe Breathing Underwater (for Gallavich Gift Exchange) since I had to do some research on how aquariums work lol.

12. How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year? I just have my Parent-Teacher Conference galladrabbles WIP that I hope to pick up again. Otherwise, I’m just hanging out waiting for my next prompt

13. What's your longest work of the year? Camp is a Battlefield!

14. What's your shortest work of the year? The Hall Monitors (764 words)

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you? Let us say ... The Parent-Teacher Conference hopefully

16. What's your most common "Additional Tags" tag? Just like my AU hero Suzy-queued it’s gotta be Alternative Universe. But also surprising (to me) Canon-Divergent.

17. Your favorite character to write this year? Mickey is my forever favorite. I also really love writing a Meddling Matchmaker Mandy!

18. The character who gave you the most trouble writing this year? I only ever write a tiny line here and there for Lip, but he can be a challenge to try to get just right.

19. What's one pairing you want to explore next year? I honestly can’t imagine stepping out of the Gallavich zone but who knows!

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most? Probably Groceries

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year? 1,004 (thank you!)

22. Which work has the most comments? Camp is a Battlefield (thanks again!)

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year? Yes! Camp is a Battlefield was co-written with my summer camp bunkmates mybrainismelted and jrooc with illustrations by @creepkinginc

Chasing Waves, another summer camp collaboration, co-written with @sandrashaine @shippergirl121fic mybrainismelted with illustrations by @doshiart

24. Did you write any gifts this year? Yes! The Housewarming Party :) and Breathing Underwater for @dynamic-power for Gallavich Gift Exchange.

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

Yes! From such lovely people too:  - Coming Attraction by the wonderful Suzy-queued - Flights of Fancy by Jrooc, & Mybrainismelted - The Soft Places by @nozenfordaddy

26. What's your most common category/trope? Between fics and drabbles, it’s probably Flirting & Fluff lol

27. What do you listen to while writing? Usually need complete silence.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year? Cross between Groceries and The Night Shift

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? Hard to choose, so I just picked a random drabble line that made me laugh. Prompt: “Blur” (or… Mickey needs glasses) “Mick, how many fingers am I holding up?” “Fuck OFF! 10! Now leave it alone forever.” Mickey storms off down the hall, and -surprise to know one- nearly trips over their cat. “Sorry Turbo,” he mutters.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? It is absolutely a surprise every single time I type the last line of a story and realize I’ve actually done it.

Happy New Year everyone! 🥂I'd like to especially like to toast the Galladrabbles team Energievie & @look-i-love-u for running an amazing event that inspires me every week. And @gallavichthings who manages a whole calendar of events (2025's list is here). And of course to the Gallavich-fic-club. All of the writing I manage to get done is because of you all!

Tagging everyone I tagged 👆 and all of you if you'd like to play @sam-loves-seb @palepinkgoat @ian-galagher @wehangout @solitarycreaturesthey @notherenewjersey @callivich @darlingian @katicusdramaticus @irishkitty-23 @runninonemptyy @jessij1997 @mmmichyyy @spacerockwriting @lazystargazy @thepupperino @deedala @starry-nights-17 @atthedugouts @gallawitchxx @ms-moonlight-inn @whatthebodygraspsnot @firendeavor @echotrees @roryonic @catgrassplantdad @thisdivorce @michellemisfit @crossmydna @nymacron @redwiccanrobin @gallavichsuperfan @annisefreya @bawlbrayker @rayrayor @lingy910y @sweetbee78 @em-harlsnow @sickness-health-all-that-shit and anyone I may have missed. Sending 💕💕

[kaliforniahigh]

Same anon, I found your original post and decided to try a prologue blurb for you as I was feeling creative 👉👈

you just moved into a new house and you take this picture of Noah, and after a couple of weeks, strange things start happening, like stuff moving on its own and suddenly your camera stops working and you can't sleep separately anymore and you can't be alone in the house because you're so scared

Search for missing 23-year-old gone cold.

The front page headline taunts you accompanied by the picture you took of Noah a year ago to the day. You don't bother to read the actual article, it's been the same regurgitated nonsense for the past year, the same speculations which throw a spotlight on you: prime suspect #1. No one believes you when you tell them the truth. You got tired of trying to explain, being scoffed at and mocked as you tried to defend yourself to members of a community in a town you wished you no longer lived in. You were the town pariah and chose to accept that. "Come on. Don't look at that." Nicholas' hand on top of yours pulls you back from your thoughts. "Don't do this to yourself." He knows what you're doing, that you're beating yourself up again. Since Noah went missing he's been at your side, you know it's because he lost his best friend that night too but you can't help but wonder if a part of him blames you.

This never would have happened if you had just left when it first started happening. You're convinced that this is all somehow your fault, because you weren't truthful about how bad things got inside that house when something would creep in with the darkness, whenever he wasn't home.

You don't answer. You sigh because you're tired of the same old merry-go-round of lies your conversations have become. He's been supportive and good friend, allowing you to stay at his ever since because you're too scared to be inside that house even once the crime scene tape was ripped from the door. You can't sell it because no one wants a house with an active missing persons case attached to it, or to buy from the girl who is their number one suspect. You'd rip it down if you could but know that if you did whatever that thing was living inside there would only find a new home, a new person to torment. Somehow you prefer to be the one in control of that.

When you look across at Nicholas you can see it in his face he wants to ask you about it again. Every so often he gets the same look in his eye, the one that tells you he wants to ask because he doesn't believe you when you tell him what happened the night Noah disappeared.

Maybe the fact he doesn't believe you stems from the way your answer never changes, nor does the infliction in your voice. You repeat it like you're reading from a script, you weren't awake when he was yelling, it was too dark for you to even see anything, you don't know where the blood came from, you don't know anything.

Truthfully, you do because you were together that night, the same way you had been for the last few months when the nights became to unbearable for you to sleep alone. You felt safer with him, or convinced yourself that you were. Nothing came when he was there and the night terrors and sleep paralysis had come to a stop.

"I know you've told me before but what actually happened that night? Maybe... maybe you missed something?" There's a crack in his voice which betrays his own emotion. You know he's fighting hard to believe you, to have sympathy. You feel guilty every time you hear that break in his voice because you want to tell him.

So you start recount the events of that night, like reading from a script, because the only thing you know is: you can't tell anyone the truth.

ANOON!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING????

I'm actually freaking out right now because this is PERFECT. You wrote it perfectly, I don't even have the words to describe it!!!!

Poor Nicholas and poor reader. And she was there too when it happened :( She felt so safe with him and then this happens? And when you mentioned the blood???

Please, come back whenever you're feeling creative again!!!!

[nyx-thedragon]

Newsies Novel Notes/Thoughts

hi hello howdy-do. I have finished reading the Newsies Novel PDF that I downloaded and I am here to share my notes/thoughts that I wrote down while reading. Once again, these are in order of when I thought of them

1- so Sarah is 16 and Davey is 15 canonically in the novel

2- Jack is Irish

3- the Jacobs family is Jewish (I think - I mean, why else would Davey mention the Irish boys and Jewish boys always fighting in his neighborhood if his family wasn't Jewish), that's cool!

4- Snyder's name is Nigel?? (throwing up ngl that does not fit him)

5- love that Kloppman is like a grandfather figure to the boys it's so sweet (Kloppman deserves the 'Best Adult in the Newsies Story' Award, right next to Denton)

6- Spot is ginger (scratching my head bc I never imagined him as ginger ever)

7- Davey is said to actually fight and hold his own when the mercenaries from the World show up (I like this better than him not being shown to fight in the movie - Davey can fight if he needs to, let the boy fight!!)

8- call me a hater, but once again the romance between Jack and Sarah is unneeded and feels kinda forced. the, what, second scene we see with them she's already kissing him? idk man it just feels forced and rushed, y'know?

9- okay I've never mentioned this before, but why was Sarah at the newsies rally??

10- Davey jumping on Snyder's back to distract him from grabbing Jack oh novel Davey I love you (why did they take away most of his fighting stuff in the movie??)

11- Les kicking a cop!!

12- Denton getting clubbed to protect Kid Blink (love you Denton)

13- a bunch of police falling through the trapdoor on the stage I wish that was in the movie

14- Jack using the fire curtain to get away from the police. very smart, shoutout to Race and Boots for that

15- Davey feeling guilty for not being arrested with the other newsies but also relieved that he wasn't ooh yeah I understand

16- objecting on the ground of "Brooklyn, yer honor" Spot Conlon the newsie that you are (that line is just so funny and iconic I love it so much I love that it's in the book and the movie)

17- the other newsies hearing Snyder's whole speech about Jack and his life instead of just Davey oooh why wasn't that in the movie what that would've been so interesting to see

18- "It's not fair" I love how Davey is vocal about his opinion instead of just looking at Jack with disappointment like in the movie

19- Les is not taken with to the Refuge to try to break Jack out. very smart, makes sense. so why was he taken with in the movie??

20- Davey watching the conversation between Jack and Pulitzer through the window

21- hate hate hate how Davey is spelled "Davy" in the book. it looks ugly without the "e"

22- "[Davey] felt as though someone he loved had died" in response to finding out Jack sold out to Pulitzer HELLO??? (my homo-alarm is going CRAZY)

23- WHO THE FUCK TORE UP JACK'S PICTURE OF HIS PARENTS!? I KNOW YOU'RE MAD BUT THAT'S TOO FAR, GUYS!! (also I forgot to note this down but I love that Jack has a picture of/with his parents it's so fucking cute. wanna explode whoever it is that tore it up though cuz what the fuck)

24- "You touch Davy and I'll..." oh? getting protective I see... (homo alert! homo alert!)

25- okay so Davey doesn't get beaten up by the Delanceys and instead Jack and the Jacobs siblings beat the two of them up with no issue. hmmm (why wasn't that in the movie? why did they have Sarah be a helpless girl who punched Oscar(?) once and then laid on the ground yelling? why was Davey not shown to fight well enough to not get beaten up by the Delanceys in the movie?? novel Davey and your fighting ability, I will avenge you)

26- Mayer giving Jack some of his old clothes and some food and telling him he'll always have a home with them oh don't make me cry that is so sweet

27- we lost that sweet scene with Mayer and Jack in the movie I can't believe this that would've been such a good scene! could've gotten rid of the rooftop scene with Sarah if there was worry about the runtime being too long, it would've been a much better scene imo (grgrgrggrrgr Mayer Jacobs and Jack Kelly father-son relationship I will avenge you!!) (this is also partially because I am still a hater of the Sarah/Jack relationship/romance because it was so not needed imo)

28- "I wanted to go to Santa Fe, but my real family was right here all along" (YES! GREAT WAY TO END THE STORY! oh my goodness the movie added the Sarah/Jack kiss instead of having this line??? bro I need to have a conversation with the scriptwriters or whoever it was that approved these changes oh my GOD) (i'm assuming the novel came before the movie when I say this)

There was at least one other thing that I didn't end up actually writing down but mentioned when I was annotating the PDF last night but then the annotations disappeared?? for some reason?? when I went to finish reading this morning so I don't know what it was. maybe I'll remember it later? probably not tbh :(

and something that I typed up while watching the movie last night before starting to read the PDF (it is, once again, about the romance subplot. please forgive me for being such a huge and vocal hater about it, it just pisses me off soooo much for some reason):

"dude genuinely the romance subplot was not needed. and the scene with Jack and Sarah on the roof could've been replaced with a scene of like, the newsies talking about the strike and maybe some of them bringing up concerns or something. or even Davey interacting with the newsies and getting to know them. or show how he's dealing with being the co-leader of a whole strike at fifteen years old. something like that.

sorry not sorry but I am very very adamant that not every fucking story needs a romance subplot. especially not this one. I would say if they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, have it be between Jack and Davey, but this movie was made in 1992 and that probably wouldn't have gone over super well, let's be honest."

okay, that's all for now. I might try writing a little newsies fic / one-shot at some point soon-ish? maybe. it will probably be Javey with a bit of background Sprace and Jack / Spot friendship if I ever do get around to it.

uhh have a good day everyone! stay cool :3

[ginnsbaker]

In Losing Grip On Sinking Ships (20/23)

Chapter summary: You and Wanda go back for another couple's therapy session where Wanda reveals her abandonment issues; Afterwards, you and Wanda arrive in LA for Christmas with her family.

Chapter word count: 6.5k+ | Tags: Therapy, Healing, Comfort | Ship: Wanda x Female Reader

Author's note: Christmas part one. Can't believe there's only three more chapters and the epilogue. Enjoy!

AO3 | Masterlist 

Next part: Twenty-One

--

Twenty

As the second therapy session with Calliope gets underway, she opens with a warm smile, “Let's start with the assignment from our previous meeting. Were you both able to write and share your letters?”

You and Wanda share a quick glance before you respond with an enthusiastic, “Yeah, we did.”

You both can't help but beam, a sense of accomplishment clearly reflected in your faces.

“That's great to hear,” Calliope says warmly, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Tell me about the experience. How did it feel to be so open with each other?”

You glance at Wanda, who gives a small nod to signal she'll take the lead. She inhales deeply, her gaze momentarily darting to you before returning to Calliope.

“It was, you know... really special. Romantic,” Wanda confesses, a soft blush creeping onto her cheeks as she feels a bit silly, like a teenager raving about a crush. Her fingers absentmindedly twirl in loops on her knees. “I mean, it wasn't a promise or anything, but being able to understand just how deeply she cares for me... it made my heart feel full, in the best way.”

Calliope's attention then shifts to you, her body language encouraging and patient as she waits for you to share your thoughts.

After a thoughtful pause, you answer, “It felt like unshackling myself. Putting all my feelings into words, it was like shedding some weight off my shoulders. And reading what Wanda wrote…” You pause, turning to look at Wanda, a gentle warmth lighting up your eyes. “It... It grounded me. Reminded me of why we are doing this, why we're trying to fix things in the middle of all this confusion... It's because we love each other.”

“I must say, I'm incredibly moved by the strides you both have made,” Calliope says. She then subtly changes her posture, turning to focus more directly on Wanda. 

“Now that we've started delving into Y/N's trust issues, it's only fair that we address your feelings too, Wanda. So, let's talk about your trust in Y/N. How are you feeling about that?” Calliope asks.

A flicker of surprise crosses your face, reflected in Wanda's as well. The room falls into a hushed pause as Wanda processes the question, her brow creased in deep thought. The possibility of Wanda having her own trust issues hadn't even crossed your mind. You've been so focused on your own sense of betrayal and the need to rebuild trust, you didn't consider that she might be struggling too. As you wait for Wanda's response, a knot tightens in your stomach, making you realize just how much her answer matters to you.

For a brief moment, Wanda looks at Calliope with a blank expression. “I... I'm not quite certain how to answer that,” she concedes, her fingers subconsciously toying with a loose thread on her sleeve. 

You find yourself hanging onto her every word. 

“Does it count that I was jealous of Yelena even before she and Y/N got together? There was an entire history between Y/N and Yelena that we never really discussed... that I was never really a part of.”

“Lack of trust can often sow seeds of insecurity, Wanda, which in turn leads to feelings of jealousy. Trust doesn't only involve a faith in someone's actions, but also in their words and their shared history.” Calliope explains, and then she turns to you. “Y/N, this is something you need to take into account. It's not only about how your actions impact Wanda's trust in you, but also how much you're willing to share and be transparent about your past and your feelings.”

You swallow dryly and nod at Calliope’s words. It's not easy, admitting this. But it's something you realize you need to say.

“Wanda, I wasn't being completely truthful with you back then,” you start, feeling the weight of the words as they leave your lips. “When I told you I didn't think it was worth mentioning… The truth is, it made me uncomfortable to talk about her.”

Wanda's brow furrows slightly, but she doesn't interrupt. You take that as a sign to continue.

“Yelena was... she was important to me. At some point, before you and I met, I thought she was the one. And when that love was ripped away from me because she moved to another country, it hurt. It hurt a lot. So when we reconnected while we were married, it was... it was complicated. Especially because you never knew about her. I didn't know how to bring it up. How to explain it to you. So I avoided it. And I realize now that was wrong. It wasn't fair to you.” you say.

Wanda studies you intently, her hands clasped tightly together as she works up the courage to voice her question. “And what...what did you feel when you saw Yelena again that time after all those years?”

You take a deep breath. This honestly thing is harder than you thought.

“When I saw Yelena again,” you begin, your voice low and steady. “It was like being transported back in time. There was this rush of old memories, some good, some painful. It was a little unsettling.”

“Did you… realize anything?” Wanda asks slowly. She doesn't spell it out, but you can read between the lines: Did you feel a spark between you two?

You don’t think you can answer that without telling Wanda something first.

“When Yelena and I broke up, our story ended on an open note. There was no closure and part of me always wondered 'what if'. But then you happened, Wanda. You walked into my life and turned it upside down in the most beautiful way.”

You take a deep breath, looking at Wanda, her wide eyes locked onto yours, filled with anticipation. “Before I asked you to marry me, I thought about Yelena. I wondered what it meant to still have an open chapter with her. But in that moment, I knew with absolute certainty, you were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”

Wanda visibly relaxes at this, which makes you regret the next words to come out of your mouth. 

“But when I found out what really happened, it just floored me,” you say. “Our trust was broken, our marriage ended, and I was left feeling totally confused and hurt. I had to question everything we ever had together.”

Your voice drops to a softer tone, “After our divorce, my history with Yelena seemed like something unfinished that I needed to explore. I was just trying to make sense of everything, looking for a way to move on. I let myself think about 'what if' with her, and even gave a relationship with Yelena a chance. But we both know how that turned out, don't we?”

You give a small shake of your head, smiling sadly, “But to directly answer your question: No, it didn't spark any old romantic feelings when I ran into her in Soho. I didn't feel the same butterflies that I felt when I fell in love with her back then, or the ones I felt when I fell for you. And I realized recently that what we had for the second time around was more about seeking a familiar comfort, a way for me to move from you.”

Wanda nods as she takes everything in. It suddenly feels like a funeral setting, mourning a series of losses.

“I think I’m just realizing now more clearly, the magnitude of what I’ve done,” Wanda begins. Her gaze is steady, albeit heavy with a kind of self-awareness that only comes after a period of reflection and growth. “When I messed up, it wasn't just about you and me. It hurt people we care about. The fallout wasn't contained to just us, it spread to almost everyone we really care about.”

Wanda inhales a deep, shuddering breath, visibly collecting herself. “I can't erase what I did. I can't change the past. But I can learn from it. That huge mistake I made... it's a part of me now. I have to live with it, not as a source of shame, but as a constant reminder of where I went wrong.”

Calliope listens, her expression softening with understanding as Wanda speaks. When Wanda finishes, she nods, thoughtful.

After a brief pause to let her words sink in, Calliope segues into the next subject. “Is there anything else that has strained your trust in Y/N, or have we covered everything?” 

Wanda, after a thoughtful silence, finally murmurs, “There's something else…”

You turn to your ex-wife, surprised by her admission. You brace yourself for whatever comes next, even though a nagging feeling at the back of your mind tells you that you're about to be blindsided once again by something in your relationship with Wanda.

Wanda bites the inside of her cheek thoughtfully. Her voice is a bit shaky as she starts, “I... I'm afraid that one day you'll just... leave. Without a word, without a trace. Just like my mother did to me and my brother when we were young.”

She looks directly at you, vulnerability written all over her face. You can see the fear that grips her in those beautiful eyes, a fear that you've unknowingly contributed to.

“That night, when I asked you to stay... when I overdosed... it was that fear. That feeling of abandonment, it just... it just became too much,” she whispers, her voice trailing off.

You’re stunned into silence at the enormity of her confession. You had no idea that she carried such deep-rooted fears. It makes you view your actions and decisions in a new light. You may have unknowingly triggered her worst fear, exacerbating the pain she felt from your separation.

You reach across the couch to take her hand in yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“I... I didn't realize that night what I was doing to you,” you say, looking down at your hands, now entwined. “I should've stayed. Maybe then things would've been different. If I'd understood...” Your voice trails off, choked with regret.

Wanda’s overdose, her hospitalization, it really was your fault. “Y/N,” Calliope's gentle voice cuts through your self-recrimination, “I see that you're blaming yourself, but it's crucial to recognize that we are all responsible for our own actions. Wanda's overdose was her response to the pain, a decision driven by her emotional state at the time. While you did play a role in her life, you didn't dictate her choices. There were other ways for her to cope, other people she could have reached out to. The path she took, as desperate as it may have been, was her decision. Our challenge now is to understand why she felt that was her only option, rather than assigning blame.”

Action and reaction. You understand that these are the things you can control if they are your own, but that doesn't negate the fact that other factors can influence them. Calliope's words don't quite alleviate the guilt threatening to engulf you.

“Y/N, would you care to share your intentions that night when you left Wanda? Did you plan to sever all communication with her?” Calliope gently prods.

“Calliope, can we–” Wanda begins, her voice breaking as if the words are lodged in her throat. “Can we not talk about this anymore?”

“No, Wanda, it’s okay,” you say softly. Your eyes lock with Wanda's, holding her gaze as if trying to communicate a silent promise. You then turn to Calliope, drawing a deep breath.

“I... I don't know," you admit, your voice low. “I was so hurt and angry... I couldn't think straight. But I never intended to... to abandon her like that. I just... I needed some space. I needed time to process everything that happened. And I thought she needed it too.”

Wanda cuts in to support your statement, “We were hurting each other... every day, every moment. It was as if we were stuck in a loop of anger, pain, and... meaningless sex. That week... it was like we were poisoning each other.” 

Wanda's voice softens, reaching out to you with a heartfelt plea, “I understand now why you had to leave then. But this time, if we're trying... if we're really committed to this, can I count on you to communicate with me if you ever feel like you need space?”

As Calliope turns to you for an answer, you feel an immediate sense of calmness washing over you. 

“Of course, Wanda,” you assure her with a small smile.

With a satisfied nod, Calliope wraps up the joint part of your therapy session, “That's a good place to pause for now.” She looks over at both of you, a proud smile on her face.

She then turns to you specifically, “Y/N, would you still be okay to proceed with your individual session after a short 30-minute break?”

You nod quickly. You want nothing more than to proceed and talk to Calliope about some things that have made it difficult for you to sleep in recent days.

“Alright, then. I'll see you shortly,” Calliope remarks, retreating to her desk, her pen already dancing across her notebook.

You and Wanda rise from your seats, and she mentions that she needs to rush back to the cafe to work on potential recipes for the “Cup-off”. You've only heard about this competition in passing one evening, but you nod supportively, thankful for her patience and engagement throughout these therapy sessions. She rewards you with a kiss on the cheek, and a promise to call you later.

“Okay, Y/N, let's begin,” Calliope starts, taking a deep and grounding breath. You find yourself silently admiring her resilience and strength. Her job seems like more of an emotional balancing act than you initially thought, bearing witness to all sorts of personal burdens day in and day out. Yet here she is, prepared to cross another emotional minefield. You briefly wonder if it ever gets to her–the burden of other people's problems.

“So, Y/N, how are you doing right now?”

You chuckle lightly, shaking your head as you settle back into the same spot you occupied just thirty minutes ago. “You were in the room with us,” you say with a wry smile. “You know how it went.”

Calliope grins slightly, responding patiently, “Yes, I was there. But a lot can shift in thirty minutes. It's fascinating, isn't it? The fluidity of human emotions. They can change, sometimes so rapidly.”

You smile good-naturedly, feeling the warmth from the coffee cup still lingering in your hands. Glancing out onto the balcony of the reception area had given you a moment to breathe, to reflect.

“Actually, I'm doing alright,” you tell Calliope, your voice steadier than before. “The quick break helped me calm down. I was upset, I won't lie, after hearing about the impact of my leaving on Wanda. And the thought of almost losing her without even realizing it... I would never be able to forgive myself if something had happened to her.”

“It won't be easy, but you need to forgive yourself. Wanda has,” Calliope says.

You take a deep breath, trying to absorb her words. It's one thing to hear Wanda say she forgives you, but to actually forgive yourself? That's a more complicated matter.

“Thank you, Calliope. I'll try.” You pause, collecting your thoughts, before adding, “There is actually something else on my mind.”

“What is it, Y/N?”

“Natasha,” you say, the name echoing in the room, fraught with significance. “She's my best friend. Well, was, I guess. And she's Yelena's sister.”

A brief understanding flashes across Calliope's face. “Ah,” she murmurs, leaning back in her chair. “That's a complex dynamic.”

“To say the least,” you reply, a hollow laugh escaping your lips. “I messed up with Yelena, right? I...I kissed Wanda while we were still together. And after Yelena broke up with me, Natasha and I had a big fight. She's refused to talk to me since. So, I’m just gonna go straight to it and ask you: How do I fix it?”

Calliope studies you for a moment, her gaze steady. “Y/N,” she begins, leaning further back in her chair, “A common misconception about therapy is that therapists are the 'fixers', that we hold all the answers to people's problems. But the truth is, we're here just to guide, to help you look at situations in a healthier way.”

You find yourself nodding, even though a part of you yearns for a simple solution.

Calliope pauses, letting you digest her words. “As for your situation with Natasha, you must understand that your control is limited. You cannot control her reactions or feelings. What you can control are your actions and intentions.”

She sees the understanding dawning in your eyes. “Your desire to fix the situation is natural, especially when you've caused hurt. But apologies can't be rushed, and forgiveness can't be demanded. However, there are steps you can take to start the process of healing.”

It's not an immediate solution, but it's a direction to follow. “I see,” you mutter, feeling a glimmer of hope. “Can you share with me what these steps are?”

Calliope smiles at your willingness to learn the process. “First, acknowledge what you've done wrong. In your case, it seems like you've done that. You've recognized that your actions with Wanda while being with Yelena caused you to hurt Natasha,” she starts.

“Second, reflect. Why did you do it? From what I’ve gathered, it’s because of your intense feelings for Wanda, which you have acknowledged in our previous sessions. Next, and most critically, how can you prevent such actions in the future?” she continues.

“Third, make the apology, but make sure it's sincere. People can tell when you're not genuinely sorry. Don't just say it to make yourself feel better, but rather to acknowledge the hurt you've caused," she advises, her gaze fixed on yours, driving home the importance of the words.

“I tried when I could,” you respond, frustration seeping into your voice. “But now, I don't even know how or when I could get another chance to…”

“Well, you’ve done your part, Y/N. Maybe you were sincere, but it wasn’t the right time for her yet. Maybe she wasn’t ready to hear it.” Calliope says.

You rub your face, feeling the weariness creeping in. “I just... I hope she knows how deeply sorry I am.”

“She will, Y/N, in her own time. Which brings us to the last advice I can give you,” Calliope says. “Give them time and space. It's crucial to understand that they may need time to process your apology and decide how they feel about it. They may not forgive you immediately, or even at all. That's something you'll have to accept.”

That's something you'll have to accept.

You went to kindergarten with Natasha. You shared birthdays together and even a funeral. 

If Natasha never forgives you, then you permanently lose a piece of your life.

A piece of yourself.

***

The persistent drone of the plane engines always unsettled you, making you hesitant about leaving the familiarity of solid ground. This feeling has you rooted in one city, avoiding globe-trotting adventures or cross-country escapades.

But when Wanda asked you to go with her to Los Angeles to celebrate Christmas with her family, you couldn't say no. The way her eyes lit up when she asked you was irresistible, and with your mom planning to spend the holidays with her friends in Europe, you faced the prospect of being alone in Manhattan. Despite your discomfort with planes, you decided to put your fears aside and join her on the trip. 

Wanda, otherwise the perfect companion, is now constantly on her phone, taking calls every five minutes, and when she's not on a call, she's texting. You overhear snippets about delayed orders and maintenance contracts, so it's probably her suppliers, but the incessant buzzing and clicking of her phone still gnaws at your attention.

Who are they, these people reaching out to her? Even if it's just business, what are all these conversations about? Wanda happens to be a very attractive woman, and people aren't blind to it. 

She takes wind of your unease eventually, her hand reaching over to squeeze yours, a reassuring smile on her face. “It's just the suppliers and the maintenance people for the shop,” she explains, but the phone still rests in her other hand, a barrier that you can't quite overcome.

Before you can respond, the pilot's voice echoes through the cabin, signaling take-off, you instinctively brace yourself, your knuckles whitening as you clutch the armrests tightly. Noticing your visible discomfort, Wanda gently peels your rigid fingers away from the armrest and threads them through hers. A soft gasp escapes her as your grip tightens around her fingers instinctively, harder than you mean to. Sparky, comfortably nestled in Wanda's lap, looks considerably more at ease than you.

“Sorry,” you mumble, eyes squeezed shut as you brace for the sensation of the accelerating plane.

“It's okay, love,” Wanda reassures you. Her thumb traces comforting circles over the back of your hand, and you cling to the calming rhythm.

The plane picks up speed, the familiar pressure building in your chest. You suck in a quick breath, your free hand gripping the armrest on your other side.

Suddenly, Sparky lifts his head from Wanda's lap and turns to you, his furry face full of concern. His soft whimpering and puppy eyes manage to pull a small smile from you. Somehow, his innocent worry makes the tension ebb away slightly.

With one last reassuring squeeze of your hand, Wanda whispers, “We're about to lift off. Just remember to breathe.”

As the plane ascends, your heart flutters in response to the shift in gravity. The world outside the window begins to shrink, the vast expanse of the city transforming into a model town. You keep your eyes shut, focusing on the steady rhythm of Wanda's thumb on your hand. If you’re going to die from a plane crash today, you find comfort in having Wanda’s assurances against your ear as the last sound you’ll ever hear. 

“See, we're okay,” Wanda says after a moment, a note of triumph in her voice.

You open your eyes slowly, the cabin steady around you. As you look out of the window, the sight of the sprawling city below is enough to take your breath away. 

“Do I get a reward for doing a great job?” you ask with a smirk.

A playful grin takes over her features as she leans in, pressing a light kiss to your lips. She then whispers in your ear, her voice low and sweet, “You’ll get the rest of your reward tonight, baby.”

The sound of her voice makes you tingle in all the right (wrong) places and it effectively distracts you enough from your fear of flying, allowing for some much-needed conversation.

“How’s the cup competition coming along?”

“Cup-off,” Wanda corrects you with a chuckle, her chin coming to rest on your shoulder, her breath fanning against your neck as she speaks. “It’s been fun coming up with different flavors, but I don’t know…” she trails off. “But, let's face it. I'm just a home cook who loves her espresso machine, not a seasoned barista. I'll be up against real coffee connoisseurs who've been perfecting their brews for years.”

“And that's what makes it so interesting, don't you think?” You turn your head slightly to meet her eyes. “You bring something different to the table, Wanda. You have a passion and creativity that they might not have.”

She gives you a thoughtful look, clearly mulling over your words. Her lips curve into a small, appreciative smile, and she snuggles closer to you. “You always know how to make me feel better,” she murmurs, her voice dropping an octave, and you know she's doing it on purpose, trying to rile you up. But there's just plenty of things on your mind right now, and her phone buzzing with notifications again isn't helping. 

“It's easy when it's the truth,” you say, stirring the topic back to coffee. “But how about you approach it from a different angle?”

“What do you mean?” Wanda asks, tilting her head and looking at you with apt interest.

“Instead of flavors, return to the basics. Use single origin coffee for your brew and make sure to source only the best stuff. I don’t know. Maybe I’m not making sense. But… sometimes people just really appreciate quality ingredients, you know?”

Wanda's eyes widen, and you notice a spark of excitement in her expression. She leans closer, her attention fully on you, the phone momentarily forgotten. “You may be onto something,” she says slowly.

“Really?” Your eyebrows shoot up, surprised and delighted at her interest.

“Really,” Wanda's expression turns thoughtful, her gaze fixated on some distant point as she mulls over your idea some more. “In fact, that's actually a great idea, Y/N. It emphasizes the true essence of coffee, rather than masking it with a variety of flavors. It's raw, it's honest, and it's authentic... Just like you.”

Feeling a rush of warmth, you give her a teasing nudge. "Are you comparing me to a coffee now?"

She chuckles, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “Maybe I am,” she says playfully, tightening her hold on your hand.

You roll your eyes, but your heart flutters at her words, and you find yourself leaning into her touch. 

The idea of coming to LA with her just keeps getting better and better.

***

The flight to California feels endless, the hours stretching on. But the moment the plane touches down and the doors open, Wanda's face transforms with anticipation. As soon as she steps into the arrival lounge, her eyes lock onto a familiar figure. Her brother, standing a little taller than her but with the same striking features, waves energetically in her direction.

Without hesitation, Wanda breaks into a light run, her face lighting up with pure, unadulterated joy.  She launches herself into his embrace. Their arms wrap around each other, the distance and time apart melting away. “Piet,” she murmurs into his shoulder, her voice thick with emotion.

He ruffles her hair, his grin matching hers. "Been too long, little sis," he teases, before turning his attention to you. 

“And Y/N,” Pietro greets you, his eyes scanning your face for a moment before he extends his hand. The handshake is civil, firm but noticeably cool. His polite smile doesn't quite reach his eyes, and in that brief contact, you feel a lingering tension that serves as a reminder that not all is forgotten.

You grab Pietro's hand, giving it a quick shake. “Pietro.” 

He quickly shifts his focus back to Wanda, bombarding her with questions you can't keep up with. As Wanda and Pietro chat and laugh, you feel a bit left out.

Pietro's cool demeanor makes it clear he knows about the issues between you and Wanda. You can't help but feel like you're on the outside looking in. Tugging on Sparky's leash and pulling your suitcase, you trail behind them, feeling like you're not really part of this little family reunion. 

With Sparky trotting faithfully at your side, you traverse the bustling airport, lagging slightly behind Wanda and Pietro. Suddenly, Wanda seems to realize that you've fallen behind. She slows her pace and glances back at you with a soft smile. “Sorry,” she says, a slight flush to her cheeks as if she's only just remembered you're there too. “Got caught up with all the catching up.”

You offer her a small, understanding smile, grateful for the effort she's making to include you. “It's okay,” you reassure her. “It's been a while since you two last saw each other. Catch up all you want.”

Her smile widens at your words, and she squeezes your hand lightly in appreciation. The simple action is enough to wash away your earlier discomfort, reminding you that even if the situation isn't perfect, you're here for Wanda. 

And that's all that matters.

To call Pietro's home in Sherman Oaks 'big' feels almost like an understatement. It's a sprawling, two-story house, complete with a wide, beautifully maintained front lawn and a driveway big enough to accommodate several cars. The house itself, painted in a warm, welcoming shade of beige, feels incredibly homely despite its size. The large windows and well-manicured garden make it clear that whoever lives here puts a lot of effort into maintaining it. For a brief moment, you feel a pang of intimidation; this is a far cry from the apartments and small houses back in New York. 

Wanda's eyes widen in astonishment as they scan the surroundings. It seems she's just as impressed as you are. You lean towards her, whispering so that only she can hear, “Does Pietro really rake in that much cash?”

She gives you a sidelong glance, her eyes sparkling with amusement before shrugging her shoulders lightly. “I think it's his wife,” she responds in the same hushed tone.

“He got married again?” you ask, remembering the last time you heard about Pietro's personal life, he was going through a messy divorce.

Wanda nods, a small smile playing on her lips. “Yeah, he did. And from what I can tell, I think it's really for keeps this time.”

Before you can comment further, a woman appears in the doorway. She's pregnant, very much so, at about six months based on her huge, round belly. 

“Welcome to my humble abode,” she exclaims, approaching Wanda with open arms. Wanda rolls her eyes, clearly finding the grandiosity of the mansion anything but modest. She kisses each of Wanda's cheeks, and her warm smile is genuine and infectious.

However, as you watch her, you can't help but gasp softly. You recognize her. Your mind instantly takes you back to the day of your job interview at Stark Industries, and it was her–Shannon–who interviewed you.

You're so shell-shocked by the sudden realization that you just stand there, momentarily frozen.

Wanda nudges you gently, a knowing look in her eyes. “You recognize Shannon, don't you?” she asks, not bothering to lower her voice. 

Shannon turns to you and her smile widens, “I see you remember our meeting.”

You manage to stammer out a surprised, “Yes,” while trying to regain your composure. 

Wanda seems to sense your anxiety. She wraps an arm around you, pulling you close. “I knew about the interview. Shannon told me,” she confesses, her voice just a whisper in your ear. “She was the one who gave me your new address.”

“She did what?”

“I think she did it to amuse herself because I was–I wasn’t clearly getting over you and she sort of nudged me in your direction. But I didn’t contact you until a month later, when Sparky had to be taken to the vet.”

“But my getting hired–that had nothing to do with you, right?”

“Absolutely not,” Wanda assures you, quickly dispelling your worry. “She only mentioned it to me over a month after we... after we had cut off communication. She did mention talking to Scott before hiring you.”

The mention of Scott's name brings a genuine smile to your face, tugging at the corner of your lips. You make a mental note to call him on Christmas Day.

“Why am I here hunting for a tree again?” Wanda grumbles, glancing back at the shrinking figure of you through Pietro's pickup truck window.

“Because you love me?” Pietro shoots back with a shrug.

“And Y/N, she'll be okay back there, right?”

“Y/N this, Y/N that,” Pietro mimics, feigning exasperation. “She’ll be fine.”

“You say that as if Shannon’s the loveliest host.”

“Well, she's been a lot nicer since she got pregnant.”

With a small sigh, Wanda leans back in her seat. The earlier excitement of seeing her brother at the airport is starting to fade. Now, without you or Sparky around, she feels a bit uneasy being alone with Pietro.

“I can hear the gears turning in your head, sis. What’s up?”

Wanda takes a steadying breath, searching for the right words. “It's Y/N,” she begins. “Piet, I'm... I'm nervous. With Y/N here, with everything that happened, I don't know how…” She trails off, biting her lower lip.

Pietro is quiet for a moment. “And mom?” he prompts gently.

Wanda nods, her eyes distant. “And mom,” she echoes. “I wrote back to her, you know?”

Pietro raises his eyebrows in surprise. "You did?" 

Wanda had always been more hesitant to reopen old wounds, especially when it came to their mother.

Wanda nods. “I did. I... I wrote about Dad. About how much it hurt when she left. I told her that I understand we don't really have a relationship right now, but... I want to try. I want to start fixing things.”

Pietro doesn't respond immediately. He keeps his eyes on the road, but the grip on his steering wheel tightens just a bit. When he finally speaks, his tone is softer than usual. “And what did she say?”

“I only sent it recently, just before we left for this trip,” Wanda admits. “I'm not sure whether she's received it yet or if she wrote me back.”

“So, does that mean you've forgiven her?” Pietro asks.

“I can't say for sure,” Wanda confesses. “But I'm hoping to, as I get to know this new version of her–the one you seem to have bonded with so well.”

“Wanda, she's really changed,” Pietro insists. “I've been telling you this.”

“I know, I know,” Wanda says, sounding a bit apologetic. “I'm sorry it's taken me this long to pay attention.”

“Hey, no worries,” Pietro says, giving her a gentle look. “You know what they say, right? Everything happens in its own time.”

After a beat, Pietro asks, “How are you and Y/N?”

“We're doing well, actually,” Wanda says, surprise softening her voice as if she's just realizing it herself. “Y/N has been... different. More open. More like the person I fell in love with. We're communicating more, which helps.”

“That's great to hear, Wanda. Really.”

“But,” she adds, her voice dropping to a murmur, “I still feel like there's a part of Y/N holding back. Like she’s still not fully trusting me... and I get it. I just... I hope that with time, that changes.”

Pietro smiles at her, nodding, then returns his attention to the road. 

“And you and Shannon?” Wanda asks after it gets too quiet again. “How are things going?”

A shadow passes over Pietro's features, and he takes a deep breath before answering. “Actually... something happened. It's not bad, per se. But…”

“What did you do, Piet?” Wanda asks, her brows already pulled together into a frown.

“Why do you automatically assume it was me who did something?” Pietro retorts with a hint of amusement.

“Didn't you?”

Pietro hesitates for a moment before finally relenting, “...Yeah, I did.”

“So?”

“Well, about a week ago, I went out to a bar with a few friends from my old college football team, and I–”

“Tell me you did not cheat again on your pregnant wife!” Wanda exclaims, her voice rife with disbelief and anger.

With her sudden outburst, Pietro slams on the brakes, the vehicle screeching to a halt in the middle of the road. His arm aches sharply from the force of Wanda's indignant punch.

“Ow! Hey, stop,” Pietro shields himself from Wanda’s onslaught. “Jesus, Wands, I didn’t cheat on her, okay?”

Hearing this, Wanda pulls back, sinking back into her seat with a wary look on her face. She waits for him to explain further. He starts steering the car back into the highway again. 

“I was just…” Pietro grapples for the right words, his expression troubled. “The therapy sessions with Dr. Williams... they've been beneficial, right? I mean, they've definitely helped you. And Shannon says they're making a difference for me too, but I…”

“But you still doubt yourself,” Wanda finishes his sentence, her voice laced with understanding.

Pietro affirms her statement with a heavy nod. “So that night, I thought I'd try a little experiment–see if I've really made as much progress as everyone says. I struck up a conversation with a woman at the bar, and before I knew it, we were flirting. It was like slipping back into an old rhythm–and it didn't matter to her that I was a married man.” 

A bitter edge creeps into his voice as he pauses, gazing absently at the road ahead. “Then I offered to drive her home...that's usually when things take a turn, isn't it?”

Wanda recoils slightly, her nose scrunching up in distaste. The direction this story is taking leaves a sour taste in her mouth. She's uncomfortable, disturbed even, by the idea of Pietro willingly steering himself towards temptation like that. It feels too real, too human–a crisp reminder that making progress doesn't mean you're immune to setbacks.

“Right as she put her hand on my lap,” Pietro recounts, his throat tightening slightly as he swallows. “I understood that time spent in therapy doesn't just automatically make you a better person. It's the choices you make, every single day. Loving someone, being true to them...it's a conscious effort, day in and day out. You have to continuously choose them, especially when the sailing's smooth.”

Wanda absorbs his words, feeling the truth in them echo within her. She doesn't entertain any illusions about the two of you riding off blissfully into the sunset without a care in the world. Reality is far from that. Both you and her would always have to remain vigilant. Complacency, she knows, can be her worst enemy.

Wanda waits with bated breath. “What happened next?” she whispers.

He turns his gaze back to the road. “I moved her hand away from my lap and took her home, just like I said I would. Nothing more.”

“And did you tell Shannon about this?” Wanda asks, her voice steady, almost clinical.

Pietro’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. “Yeah, I did. The morning after. I didn’t want to keep it from her.”

Wanda's heart aches for her brother. Maybe he's truly attempting to become a better person, even if his methods are foolish at times. 

“And how did she react?”

Pietro shrugs, attempting to mask his apprehension with a nonchalant demeanor. “She was... understandably upset. But she appreciated the honesty, I think. We're still working through it.”

Wanda silently reflects on his words. She can't imagine herself taking such a risk, not after everything that's happened. It isn't about doubting her own commitment or strength of character, but she feels it's a mark of respect to you not to willingly tread near the edge of temptation.

With a soft sigh, she turns her attention to the road ahead as they pull into the Christmas tree farm. The task of picking out a tree seems almost trivial in comparison to what they had just discussed, yet it also feels grounding—a joyful tradition amidst the complexities of life. For now, they have a Christmas tree to pick out.

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