#I can’t wait until I meet someone who truly is madly and deeply in love with me

[buckyownsmylife]

Burn - Henry Cavill smut

The one where Henry’s blindfolded.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: p in v, oral (f and m), curse words, one mention of daddy! kink, unprotected sex (I don’t recommend it), restraints and blindfolds. Also, the reader is trying to be a dom in this one, but she’s pretty soft.

A/N: day 11 of kinktober and the prompts were blindfold + “Hold it”. Once again, the smut is coming without revision and I’m still taking up friendship applications and beta applications which may or may not coincide. Hope you like this one, because I’m feeling dead inside.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Rationally, I knew it was stupid to feel this way. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to a date with Henry, but the truth was, nothing could have prepared me to what it would feel like to see him kissing someone else, having to sell that he was in love with another woman because that was a part of what he did to make a living.

But I had the best boyfriend, and he seemed to know exactly what I needed to feel better about the entire situation.

“How are you feeling, baby?” I asked as I slowly grinded against his belly muscles, appreciating the view of my very strong boyfriend stripped naked, blindfolded and handcuffed to the bed. 

“I-I’m okay,” he answered in the form of a whisper, almost like he was afraid to break the sexual atmosphere of the room, but I pouted. That wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear. It made me feel like I wasn’t doing my job right.

“Only okay?” I had to clarify, running one of my fingers over his bottom lip, before pulling it down and biting it until I heard him gasp. “You’re breaking my heart, honey. Would you prefer if it was Keyra doing this with you?”

The reaction was immediate. His body tensed up, and by the abrupt movement of his arms, I could see he had tried to move them to hold me, but the restraints made it impossible for him to do so.

“No, darling. Absolutely not. You’re the only one I want like this, the only one I trust enough to share this experience with.” I melted. Who wouldn’t, after such a declaration from the man you love?

“I know, baby,” I calmed him, leaning down to press a quick kiss on his lips, watching in amusement as he tried to follow me in the hopes of deepening it. “I’m only messing with you.” I resumed the movements over his abs, needing to feel a little bit more friction on my clit. His answering groan warned me of how truly pained he was feeling at the whole situation.

“Not being able to see you grinding against my chest is the most terrible punishment you could administer.” I had to giggle at his dramatics. Only my bear of a boyfriend would feel so terrible at having his girlfriend controlling his pleasure for once.

“Well, maybe this way you can understand how I feel everytime you film a love scene with another person.” He sucked in a breath, immediately shutting up, and I almost felt bad about my honest remark, but I decided he was mature enough to be able to suck it up. He was the one to suggest our current activity, after all.

“You know what? I don’t see why your punishment should be mine, too. I wanna cum, and you’re gonna make me cum.” I climbed over his body until my legs were on each side of his face, and I tried to ignore the cheshire cat smile Henry was trying very hard to suppress at the prospect of eating me out. “You remember what you have to do when you need to come up for air? Ok.”

After making sure he was reminded of the safe gesture we had anticipated for this kind of activity (a bite on my inner thigh), I lowered myself to meet his waiting tongue, that stood perfectly pointed up at me.

“Fuck,” I immediately breathed out, as always pleasantly surprised at just how incredible Henry was at eating pussy. He treated it like some sort of exotic, delicious dish, and he loved how wet he could make me get just so there was more for him to taste. “You’re too good at this,” I jested, wrapping my fingers around his curls, taking advantage of the fact that he had allowed his hair to get longer for this last role. I loved it like this, I loved being able to use it to try to control his movements.

But tonight, I didn’t have to try. I was the one in control. 

I rode Henry’s face slowly, still too self-aware in this position, but the second his lips wrapped around my clit, I was a goner. Gripping the headboard in front of me, I let myself sit more comfortably in his face, trusting in his use of the safety measure if it was necessary, and I relaxed, enjoying the filthy symphony that my moans and his slurping sounds created in our bedroom. 

As my high approached, he must have sensed it, because his licking became more feral, growls escaping his lips and reverberating against me as I started to fully grind my pussy against his face, crying out every time I bumped on his nose.

And then, I flooded his lips with my essence, temporarily blacking out before scrambling to get out of his face, so he could properly breathe again. I felt like my heart was fluttering at the sight of his perfect lips arranged in a full-on pout.

“You didn’t let me enjoy my meal properly!”

“You’re not supposed to enjoy this at all, remember?” He still looked like I had deeply hurt him, so I leaned down to properly kiss him for the first time that night. Henry moaned against my lips when I deepened our kiss, allowing his tongue to dance with mine as I appreciated my own taste. When we separated again, I was slightly out of breath and his lips were a shade of pink that denounced just how roughly we’d been kissing.

“Didn’t take you for having an asphyxiation kink,” I whispered against his lips, making him smile. “Now, I think it’s about time I take care of you, huh? Let me help you.” Henry didn’t say anything to that, knowing a trap when he heard one. In fact, I could see that he was holding his breath, as I made my way down his body, until I was staring at his perfect cock. The second I wrapped my hand around it, a deep, guttural groan escaped from Henry’s chest.

“Well, someone’s been feeling deprived.” I smiled at my boyfriends chuckle, knowing that was the very idea of the exercise we were currently partaking in, only now it was time for the real torture. Slowly, I licked a strip from the base of his cock until his leaking head, allowing myself to shallowly suck the precum there before immediately releasing his member.  

“You do taste wonderfully,” I teased, licking my own lips to chase the remnants of his taste. My only response was another groan, this one more tortured than the last. “And we’re only getting started, baby.”

I leaned down to wrap my lips around his dick once more, this time going further down after spending a few minutes sucking on the head of his member. Each new inch I uncovered had me retreating until only the head was between my lips, until I was bobbing my head and sucking the life out of him.

Henry’s P.O.V.

Going from practically no stimulation to the best blowjob of my life was making me feral with the intensity of the reactions she provoked on my body. My heartbeat had accelerated to a point not even running could achieve, and I swear that if I was standing, my knees would have given out on me.

Within minutes, I could feel my sack weighing heavier, signaling a fast approaching release I knew she wouldn’t grant me. Still, I allowed myself to entertain the idea of cumming on her perfect mouth, filling her up with my seed and hearing her satisfied little moan at my taste on her tongue. 

“Hold it.” Two words, and yet the effect was instantaneous, if only because at the sight of me fighting against my restraints as my orgasm approached, she immediately retreated until only her fist remained on my erection, massaging it just enough to keep it alive.

The slow, shallow movements were worse than nothing at all, somehow. I couldn’t keep the disappointed groan that made her laugh from showing just how devastated I truly was, but her answering laugh came with the feeling of her warm cunt rubbing against the blunt head of my cock, so I felt like a reward was on the horizon for me.

“Do you miss this?” I knew what she was referring to, and I also knew the answer without even needing to think about it. There were few things I loved in life more than being inside of her, and in that moment, I couldn’t remember any of them.

“Madly.” She chuckled at my answer, and I could perfectly imagine her shaking her head at me, a cute little smile on her face as she averted her gaze, still incapable of accepting just how much I truly loved and desired her.

“How is it that you always know just what to say?” It was my turn to chuckle, but it turned into a hiss as she calmly positioned my cock over her hole and leisurely sat down on it, like it was no big deal at all.

I knew better, however. It was in the way her nails bit on my navel as the muscles in her thighs struggled to accept the tempo of the movement she was performing. I knew she was relishing in the burn of my member stretching her, like it always did anytime I penetrated her, no matter how thoroughly I fucked her nightly. She always struggled to take me in, and I can’t say it wasn’t a huge ego booster.

“Tell me what you want,” she ordered, and I licked my lips at the prospect of finally getting my way. 

“I want to fill that perfect little pussy until it’s dripping out of you, even with my cock still buried in there.” I didn’t have to see to know that she shivered at my words. I could feel it through the connection between our bodies, and I took devious delight in it.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Well, I couldn’t say that he didn’t earn it. Just his words were enough to get me hornier than I’d ever been before I met Henry, and my hips moved on their own accord, until I was riding him with an ardor I hadn’t known I was capable of feeling. I didn’t even know I had the muscle strength to express it.

Nonetheless, we’re capable of a lot when we’re thrown in the fits of passion, I’d come to learn. And for Henry, I was pretty much down to do anything. So I just accepted the burst of energy and held on his chest for the ride, taking the opportunity to oggle my boyfriend freely even though I could see his beautiful eyes staring back at me. 

He still looked perfect, and absolutely ruined, his mouth open in a silent O as he panted and tried to thrust up against me as I fucked myself on his cock, but his desperation didn’t allow him to match our tempos. 

I still knew just how to make him cum with me, though.

Planting my knees on the mattress more firmly, I leaned over him to change the angle he was hitting inside of me, making sure the head of his cock was pounding against my sweet spot each time he was snuggled deep inside of me. And then, I threw myself back at his member furiously, determined to reach my own high and bring him with me. 

“Come on, honey, didn’t you say you wanted to fill me up? Here’s your chance. Fill me up, daddy. I wanna have your cum dripping out of me, making a mess on our bed. Please, cum inside of me. Please, please, please.” Each word that came out of my lips was accompanied by a jolt of my hips, and soon enough, Henry’s cock was twitching inside of me just when I, too, reached that euphoric high. 

I’d barely caught my breath and he was already struggling against the restraints, wordlessly begging me to release him, and I had to roll my eyes at his antics. “There you go, was that really so hard?” I asked after I’d freed him from the handcuffs and he immediately took off the blindfold, his hands coming up to squeeze a breast before rubbing all over my body, like he was trying to make up for lost time. 

“Darling, I think you know better than anyone just how hard I was.” I had to laugh, thankful to have his hands on me again after, in reality, depriving myself of his touch, but he really wasn’t wrong in what he was saying.

“Oh, yeah, I can attest to that. Specially since you’re still pretty hard inside of me.” Before I could understand what was happening, he had rolled us over until he was the one hovering over me, his cock still nested deep inside my pussy.

“And I know just the way to solve that problem.”

[inadaydream99]

Hey! Can I request a Juyeon best friends to lovers imagine? They could be in love with each other but are scared to confess to each other so the members help them secretly... I didn't think much about it, I hope this is enough, thanks!

Hi thanks for requesting! I loved writing this and I got a bit carried away so it took a while 😂 I wanted to try and parallel the whole cliché falling in love with your best friend romance film trope with (Y/N). I hope you enjoy!

Lost (and found)

I was lost until I found you. You wipe the stray tears running down your cheeks. Damn your love for cheesy romcoms and your inability to refrain from crying. The sleeve of your light grey sweater is now darkened and damp as you gently wipe it over your eyes. You want to find an endless love like the couple in the movie. They were best friends, deeply in love with each other from the moment they met. It’s almost scary how relatable you find the whole scenario, being in love with your best friend too. Except, unlike the fictional world of the movie, your love can’t be expressed or reciprocated.

You’d known Juyeon for exactly two years, one month and eighteen days. Not that you’re counting or anything... And you’ve been in love with him for just as long. But everytime you’ve built up enough courage to finally tell him how you feel, something has gotten in the way. Last time the words were right on the tip of your tounge, but at the very second you’d opened your mouth, Juyeon had gotten an important call and had to rush off to work.

Come to think of it, its odd how much this romcom resembles your own life. Just like the female lead you’d had little luck in love. You’d also been mistaken for a couple numerous times when on ‘best friend dates’ with Juyeon and don’t get me started on waking up in the same bed after one drunken night. Though as it turns out nothing happened other than actually sleeping.

The only difference in the movie and reality is that her best friend had also been madly in love with her.

And that’s how you ended up balling your eyes out.

“(Y/N) what’s wrong?” Juyeon rushes over to you the second he finds you crying alone in the darkened room. Worry shoots through him when you fail to respond, the sounds of your blubbering making his heart ache.

Your attempt at explaining anything at all is ruined when you peak up and meet Juyeon’s gaze. It’s so sympathetic and filled with such worry that you can’t bring yourself to say a word. And anyway, how could you tell him the reason for your sadness now? That’d go down as the worst way in history to ever confess how you feel to someone.

“Just the movie.” You manage, bringing your sweater covered hands up to your face and brushing away any tears steaming down your cheeks.

“You had me worried just then!” Juyeon throws his head back, laughing as relief floods him.

“Sorry.” You half heartedly chuckle, feeling embarrassed by the whole situation.

You watch as Juyeon focuses back on you, silence surrounding you both as you stare at each other. You notice how Juyeon’s face becomes deep in thought. It almost feels like his eyes are taking in every part of your face, trying to remeber each feature. Though it’s not uncomfortable in the slightest. It’s how you see him look at the people he admires and that thought alone is enough you make your heart skip a beat.

“I just care about you a lot.” He whispers, his hand carefully reaching out to tuck the few loose strands of hair that have fallen in front of your face back behind your ear. The action carries a level of intimacy that makes you softly gasp. Juyeon’s gaze shifting back to meet yours when he notices your reaction.

There’s a brief moment between you where everything stands still. His hand paused by your ear, mid action. It’s like something changes between you, a spark igniting. But the sound of crashing ruins it all, both of your attentions drawn onto the noise coming from the next room.

“I’m ok!” You hear what sounds like Younghoon call after a few seconds, laughter bubbling up inside of you as you shake your head in disbelief.

“How is he so clumsy?” Juyeon jokes, retracting his hand away from your ear and awkwardly stuffing it into his pocket.

He stands back up from his crouching position, looking down at you with a subtle smile. You can tell he doesn’t want to leave, but he also can’t find an excuse to stay.

“Do you want to join?” You stupidly ask. It’s the only thing you could think of asking even though you’re pretty sure you already know the answer.

“I would but I just got called into practice... maybe next time?” He regretfully informs. You nod, trying to hide you disappointment but Juyeon can read you like a book so it’s not to much use.

“Maybe next time...” You trail off, voice hushed and disheartened as you watch Juyeon grab his bag and leave.

~

“Everything will go fine, just be confident.” Jacob encourages you, giving you a light nudge in Juyeon’s direction.

You’d roped Jacob into helping you ask Juyeon out because you were freaking out over the idea and needed some guidance and reassurance.

That’s how you’ve ended up purposefully trying to bump into Juyeon so you can causally ask him out.

Admiring from afar, you can’t help but feel flustered by how breathtaking he truly is. He’s engrossed in the books he’s reading, sat outside the small cafe just at the end of the block.

“Ok I’m going...” You cast a quick, unsure gaze behind you towards Jacob as he tries to keep hidden from Juyeon’s view.

“Go!” He whisper shouts through a laugh, finding your shyness incredibly endearing.

You finally take the first step, about to cross the busy road.

“Oh, hey Juyeon!” You smile and send a little wave over to him as you pretend to be surprised to see him.

“(Y/N), I didn’t know you came here?” He returns the warm smile, placing his book down carefully so he doesn’t lose his page.

“Oh yeah, they sell the best coffee here.” You bashfully laugh, trying to hide your nervousness.

“Well, there’s a free seat with me if u want to join?” Juyeon asks, a hopeful glint in his tone as he slightly raises his brow in question.

“Sounds great.” You smile.

~

“It really wasn’t as bad as you think it was.” Jacob tries and fails to hide his laughter. You cringe at yourself. You’re officially the most awkward person to ever exist.

After accepting Juyeon’s offer to join him for coffee, you’d spend ages talking and laughing together. But you hadn’t managed to ask him out. You were going to, but just as you were about to utter the words the most embarrassing thing happened to you.

“Jacob, a bird literally pooped on me.” You whine, flopping over into the cushions of the sofa. “How could I have possibly redeemed myself after that?” You exasperatedly cry.

“You had a minor set back and didn’t ask him out, so what. There’s always next time.” Jacob tires to console you.

You let out a “pft.” at his statement. Next time, there’ll never be a next time.

~

“I was just about to ask (Y/N) out and then bird poo splattered right across her clothes.” Juyeon relays the events to Eric, who bursts into uncontrollable laughter at the thought of being pooed on.

Although Juyeon thought it was funny, he could sense your embarrassment at the time and refrained from making any jokes about it. Even now as he watches Eric laugh he doesn’t join in, simply just watching the younger in mild amusement.

“So what do you want me to do about it?” Eric continues to laugh, having caught the giggles badly.

“I need you to help me ask (Y/N) out, where there’s no possibly of something disrupting it.” Juyeon pleas, watching as Eric calms himself down and becomes deep in thought.

“Ok sure, but I’m gonna need a few favours to get this set up.” He devilishly smirks. It’s the expression he always pulls when he has a plan and it always seems to unnerve Juyeon a little.

~

The plan was all set up and full proof, or according to Eric, poo proof.

You’d received a text from Juyeon to meet him at the dorms urgently, which sent you into a spiral of panic. It’s the quickest you’ve ever managed to get to the Boyz dorms from your apartment, and although you are completely out of breath, you are quite proud of yourself.

The door swings open to reveal Jacob holding a bowl of cereal and staring at you in confusion.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here and why are you so out of breath?” He questions, eyeing you worriedly as you walk into their apartment before turning around to face him again.

“Juyeon said there was an emergency and to get here quick...” you inform, trailing off at the end when you notice Jacob’s suddenly contrasting expression. He’d manage to go from confused to looking like he knows something you don’t in half a second. Almost like he’s had some kind of realisation.

You don’t notice Eric signaling to Jacob from behind you, mouthing and pointing for him to play along and guide you into the living room.

“Oh yeah... in the living room.” You squint your eyes at Jacob, finding his sly behaviour out of character.

“Okay...” you trail off, slowly heading in the direction of the living room.

You gasp when you turn the corner. The room had practically been turned upside down. Instead of the usual sofa and small table, there was now a picnic blanket sprawled out across the floor. Everything had been set up like a typical picnic, just indoors and with a tv.

“Did you do all this?” You gush, your eyes finally landing on Juyeon who has been standing on the opposite side of the room anxiously waiting for you to arrive.

“Yeah...” He awkwardly chuckles, rubbing his hand behind his neck as he shyly smiles at you.

“It’s incredible.” You beam, beginning to walk across the dimly lit room. You can’t help the butterfly’s that flutter in your stomach. Just the thought that Juyeon went to all of this effort for you is so touching you could burst into tears. Happy tears of course.

“So, will you join me?” He musters up the courage to finally ask you. Seeing your overjoyed reaction had given him a little bit of a confidence boost.

“I’d love to.” You giggle, accepting Juyeon’s hand as he offers it for you to take, leading you over towards the blanket and, finally, sitting opposite.

“I wanted to ask you out the other day but I got interrupted.” You both chuckle at reminiscing about the funny turn of events.

“I was actually hoping to do the same... if it wasn’t for that bird.” You joke, heat raising up your face as you become flustered under Juyeon’s affectionate gaze.

“Hey, if that hadn’t of happened we wouldn’t be here right now.” Juyeon states, shrugging his shoulders and grinning cheekily. “And besides, that was kind of like our first date...” He smirks, gradually closing the space between you until your a few inches apart.

You hadn’t initially noticed how close you were sitting, but now, as you look up at Juyeon, you can’t tear your eyes away from his.

“Very true...” You agree, your voice so light you’re sure he can’t of heard you.

Your eyes flutter shut when you feel his hand on your waist, his lips capturing yours in a gentle kiss. As you pull away, grinning at each other like two idiots in love, you know it’s the beginning of a new chapter with Juyeon.

Regardless of all the failed attempts and embrassaing moments, you’re glad it hadn’t stopped Juyeon from making his move. And just like the movie, you realise that you are no longer lost in the world, because your world is sitting right in front of you.

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Recs: Amortentia

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 Base Notes by Sectumsempra Rated:  Not Rated Words:  4266 Tags: Potions Class, Potions, Amortentia Summary:  Draco is in the potions classroom, brewing something, as Harry reports for detention. ----- He comes close enough to the cauldron – from which smoke now rises in spirals, the surface gleaming like mother of pearl – that this time when he catches the scent, he recognizes it. ”Wait,” he says. ”You're making perfume?” Malfoy looks at him with a raised brow and a strange, lop-sided simper. ”What perfume?” he asks, which seems like an odd question. ”The one you're always wearing, isn't it?” As their eyes meet now, the expression on Malfoy's face, hard to read as it is, makes Harry wish he hadn't spoken. ”No fucking way.” ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Truly, Madly, Deeply by dracoroxy Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  4926 Tags: Love Potion/Spell, Amortentia, Fluff Summary:  Harry’s life has finally settled down enough to be comfortable, but there’s only one problem: he’s the victim of a truly astonishing amount of love spells. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Stop and smell the roses by regencyaus Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  4079 Tags: Fluff, Amortentia, Like the amortentia smells like you but i tried to take seriously?, Hogwarts Eighth Year, also there's an epilogue, you can't stop me from writing an epilogue on a 4k fic lalala, HP: EWE Summary:  Harry really, really needs to start paying more attention. In his defense, he's been having a very long day. Which is why he runs his mouth before he even thinks about why, exactly, the whole potions classroom would be smelling like Malfoy's stupid cologne. "You're the master of not thinking about things, Potter. Half of your hero moments were due entirely to good timing, a lot of luck, and you doing things you didn't think about." Well, okay, but no need to be rude. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love by aibidil Rated:  Explicit Words:  80466 Tags: Auror Harry Potter, Potions Master Draco Malfoy, Politician Hermione Granger, WWW Owner Ron Weasley, Case Fic, Potions, Potions Theory, Amortentia, Love Potion/Spell, Lust Potion/Spell, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Pensieves, Consent, Consent Issues, Enthusiastic Consent, Sexual Assault, Sexual Harassment, Wizarding Literature, Legal Drama, Courtroom Drama, Wizengamot, Wizarding Politics, Wizarding Law, Wizarding Traditions, Potions Attack, Politics, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Feminism, Men's Rights Movement, magical university, Magical Internet, Science, Chemistry, Communication, Soul Bond, Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Pining, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Post-Hogwarts, HP: EWE, Dildos, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Falling In Love, Patronus Summary:  In which a group of wizards' rights activists goes on the offensive after a prohibition against love potions, forcing the magical world to confront the horror of magic's role in sexual assault and the murky legal nature of consent. Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Draco are swept together to solve the case, and in the process they're made to confront their own love and lust—with and without potions. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Oblivious by lealam Rated:  Explicit Words:  17387 Tags: love potions, Amortentia, eighth year, Hogwarts, Party Games, Getting Together, Potions Theory, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Explicit Sexual Content Summary:  Harry doesn't believe his Amortentia's scent is correct, and starts questioning the potion and his feelings. Of course Malfoy, of all people, is the one to answer these questions. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Beautiful Meanings in Beautiful Things by cloudings Rated:  Explicit Words:  76932 Tags: Hogwarts, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Amortentia, Voyeurism, Sharing a Room, and they were roommates.., Roommates, Soulmates, Soul Bond, Face Punching, Bruises, Portraits, Quidditch, Humor, Fluff, Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Summary:  After a cocky comment from Malfoy and a (totally justified) punch in the face from Harry, Malfoy ends up with a bruise on his face that just doesn't seem to want to go away, no matter what is attempted. Harry is confused by his Amortentia smells, Malfoy keeps asking him to punch him (literally and subtextually), and everybody seems to think that they can just tell Harry that he isn't straight anymore. On top of all that, Harry now has to figure out what to do when you find out you've got a soulmate. A fucking soulmate. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Passion Cake by ICMezzo Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  19397 Tags: Love Potion/Spell, Amortentia, Aphrodisiacs, Baking, Chocolate, Birthday Cake, Owls, Desire, Tea, H/D Food Fair 2018, Baker Draco Malfoy, Treacle Tarts, Oblivious Harry Potter, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Asexuality Spectrum, Possible grey-ace character, Anxiety, secondary trans character Summary:  It’s all about desire. (Harry orders a magically enhanced cake from a chic London bakery, and from there it all goes to hell in a cake tin. Also, will someone please tell Harry what Passion Cake is?) ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 I Love You by curlee_cue Rated:  Mature Words:  18210 Tags: Rape/Non-con, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, Amortentia, Harry starts to lose track of reality, Dark!Harry, kindagoescrazy!harry, blink-and-you'll-miss-it gore Summary:  Harry knows what love is. It’s something that grows. Something that adapts. Something that sometimes needs a little help along the way. (or the one in which Harry loses his mind) ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Nero su bianco by zuzallove Rated:  Explicit Words:  40507 Tags: Epistolary, Slow Burn, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Slash, Angst, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Misunderstandings, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Podfic Available Summary:  September 1997. Hogwarts is under the regime of Voldemort and the Carrows. Finding himself alienated by both his friends and his supposed enemies, Draco puts quill to parchment, and writes letters. He addresses them to the only person he can think of, as Hogwarts rapidly falls into chaos and ruin: Harry Potter. He goes to great lengths to ensure the letters are never discovered, and he’s pretty certain he’s done a great job. Until the day of his trial. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 For All That Ails You by Frayach Rated:  Explicit Words:  16953 Tags: Christmas, Love Potion/Spell, Loss of Virginity, Infidelity Summary:  Voldemort forces Draco to drink a love potion so that he'll fall in love with Harry, and he does - madly. But then Harry does too. When Hermione finds an antidote for the love potion, neither knows who loves who. But then along comes the anonymous poetry contest to save the day. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Banter, Barns and Brunches by jolly_love Rated:  General Words:  1001 Tags: Professor Harry Potter, Professor Draco Malfoy, Potions Master Draco Malfoy, Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor Harry Potter, Banter, Humor, Amortentia, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Good Draco Malfoy Summary:  DADA Professor Harry just wants to read in peace at the staff table in Hogwarts. Potion's Professor Draco has other ideas. And banter ensues. Featuring Banter between Professors, a barn and food. All the good stuff. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 I bloom (just for you) by Ladderofyears Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  3910 Tags: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Enchanted Flower Business, Amortentia, Flower Shop Owner Harry Potter, Professor of Viking Magic Draco Malfoy, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Harry, Generous Draco, Falling In Love, Wealthy Draco, No Magical Florists Hurt In The Writing Of This Fic, Promise Summary:  Harry Potter is the proud new owner of Potter’s Blooms and Bouquets, the very first enchanted flower business on Diagon Alley. Harry has been tasked with designing and making the bouquets for the upcoming wedding of Draco Malfoy and his mysterious fiancée. There is one small problem though: Harry finds himself falling deeply in love with Draco himself. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 A Real Gem by tackytiger Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  1059 Tags: Hogwarts Eighth Year, Potions, Amortentia, Falling In Love, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Summary:  “You’re late. I don’t like to be kept waiting, Potter.” “Hmm, I know, but I like you a little angry.” Falling in love, and not talking about it, and all the nice Amortentia smells. ❤️ Read on AO3

[swimmingnewsie]

Of Coffee and Cookies (Chapter 10)

Hi guys! 

First off, I’m glad to back from my mini hiatus! I missed you all. Second of all, I would like to mention that wi a few small details were changed in earlier scenes to represent a more accurate picture of domestic violence in the legal sense. I had help from my partner in crime and local law student @writetheniteaway to make a more accurate fic. All changes were made to produce a more streamlined story.

Thank you all! Please enjoy!

Link to AO3

---

“You’re being stubborn.”

“It runs in our family.”

“Yeah, but Elsa and I made up. You’re still dragging your feet.”

Ryder shrunk down in his seat. His sister was right, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit it. He was still mad, how could he not be? He told his boyfriend something so close to his heart, and Kristoff just ran. He wasn’t ready to accept the man’s pleas of apology.

“He’s trying, Ry. I’m not happy he ran either, but I think it’s worth acknowledging. You two need to talk.”

Ryder stayed silent, and he heard Maren sigh as she drove onward. He didn’t exactly remember where they were going, but he had a vague feeling that there was no destination. She was pulling the same thing he had pulled on her when she had fought with Elsa.

“It’s been two weeks. How long do you plan on stringing him along like this?”

Ryder pouted. Why was his sister so persistent about this. “What does it matter?” he huffed.

“It matters because you’re both clearly miserable,” she pointed out, turning into an open field. Maren put the truck in park, moving to get out. “Come on. You need a little batting practice.”

“Batting practice? What-”

Before he could finish his question, she was out of the car, reaching into the truck bed. Maren walked to his door, carrying an old baseball bat and a ball of softballs. “You are hitting out some frustration and getting your shit together.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You haven’t been to the gym since all this happened. And I know it helps clear your head. So get your ass out there, I’ll pitch. You hit.” She shoved the bat into his hand. “I’m gonna grab my mitt while you warm up.”

Ryder sighed and gave into his sister’s wishes. “This isn’t going to work!” he shouted, running back far enough for her to give a good pitch. “Wouldn’t a boxing ring worked a lot better?”

“Shut up. We both know you hate boxing.” He laughed at his sister’s frustrations. It was nice to laugh again, he noticed. Maren wound up a pitch, throwing it hard and fast at her brother. She couldn’t help but smile herself at her brother as he missed. “You’re gonna have to do better than that, baby brother.”

“Baby brother, my ass!” He swung at the next ball, making contact that time: a pop up Maren easily caught. “How’s that, little sister?”

“Nice! Now, focus that energy!” she called, throwing the ball again. Another miss. “What are you feeling?”

“Anger!” he said swinging the bat at the open air. “Why can’t he love me as I am?”

“Who said he didn’t?” Maren tossed the ball, another strike.

“Well running away when I told him seems like a pretty good sign to me!” he shouted, hitting the ball full of anger. Good, Maren would have to run for that one.

“What would you do if it were reversed? Kristoff was aromantic and you were madly romantically in love with him? Would you be able to face it right away?”

Ryder hit another ball. “I would love him no matter what. Because that’s what people do!”

“Maybe in romance novels! But this is real life, Ry,” she said pointedly before running to collect the balls around her. “Real people take time.” Ryder grunted, gathering the balls he had missed. She was right. Again. “And you’ve both had time. What’s stopping you from talking?”

Ryder sighed, dropping the bat and softballs. He knew the reason deep down inside, but he wasn’t ready to say it. He hadn’t even noticed he had curled himself inward until Maren reached around to give him a hug. “It’s okay to be afraid. But you can’t keep doing this to yourself or him. It isn’t fair to either of you.”

He dropped to the ground, his legs unable to bear the weight anymore. “I’m sorry.”

Maren came down to his level, keeping him close. “You don’t have to be sorry. Not to me. You’re my brother. I’m here no matter what.” She ran an easy hand through his hair,soothing him like she used to when they were kids. “But you need to talk to him, for both of your sakes.”

Ryder nodded, breathing deeply. It was time to face this.

“Thank you.”

---

Kristoff had responded to his request to meet a bit too quickly. It made Ryder’s heart hurt; but he knew he was doing the right thing, even if it didn’t feel like it. They were meeting for lunch. Nothing fancy, a franchise sandwich shop, but it made a nice place for a hard conversation.

Ryder’s leg bounced nervously as he waited. Kristoff was always early, but Ryder was even earlier. He wanted to be their first, be there to greet him. Kristoff deserved that much.

“Hey there.”

A gruff voice pulled him from his thoughts. Kristoff was there in front of him. There was something inherently different, though his clothes and face looked the same.He looked tired, the way he did after working a dreaded clopen shift. Ryder sighed, feeling the guilt of putting them both through the ringer

“Hi,” was all he could manage. Before he knew it, the two of them were engulfed in a hug. Ryder inhaled the scent of coffee and immediately felt at ease. They were going to do this. And they were going to do this together.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured holding tight to Kristoff. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away when you were trying to apologize.” Stray tears fell from his eyes, guilt panging in his heart.

“I’m sorry for running away in the first place,” he said back. Kristoff lead them over to a booth, settling themselves down. “I got scared.”

Ryder nodded, taking his head off Kristoff’s chest. “I know. I- I was too.”

Kristoff grabbed on to Ryder’s hand. “Then how about we start this over?”

Ryder squeezed his hand tight. “I’d like that.” He breathed deeply before looking into his eyes. “I’ve known something was off for a while. At first I thought it was just having too high of expectations, that kisses weren’t as magical as everyone said they were.”

Kristoff sighed. “I know I’m not the best kisser, but-”

“Please, let me finish,” Ryder pleaded. Kristoff nodded understandingly. Cutting him off early was what got them in this mess in the first place. “I loved being around you. I loved being with you and holding your hand and bothering you at work. I still love doing all those things. But, there was always something in the back of my head.

“I wanted to love the kissing and cuddling as much as you did. It made you so happy, but I didn’t like it the way you did. It felt weird and wrong in a way, even though I knew it was a good thing. I knew you loved me. But I always thought there was something wrong with me. I did some research. And there were all these blogs about being aromantic. Something clicked for me, and that scared me a lot. Because I do love you, Krissy. But I don’t think it’s in the same way you love me. You’re my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you.”

Ryder sighed, giving a light squeeze to Kristoff’s hand. It was now or never. “But, I don’t think I want to date, not while I’m figuring this out. I want to take my time with this, and it’s not fair to ask you to settle for someone who can’t love you back the same way. Not when there’s someone we both know can do a lot better job than me.”

There was a long pause. A fleeting fear of Kris running again passed through his mind, but those fears were quelled as Kristoff gulped. “I want to respect- I do respect your wishes. But I want you to know I love you, and if our relationship has to change to one of those queerplatonic things then I’m willing to. Don’t give up on us just yet. Please.”

Ryder shook his head. “I don’t want to do that, Kris. Not now. Maybe in the future some day. But I really want to focus on being comfortable with myself for now.”

Guilt panged in his chest as he watched Kristoff bite his lip. “Okay.”

Ryder squeezed his hand. “I know it isn’t what you wanted to hear. But it’s something that I need to do.”

Kristoff nodded, squeezing back. “I understand. I know- I know you said you don’t want to be together. But is there any way we could stay friends?”

Ryder smiled, wiping a stray tear from Kristoff’s eye.

“I’d really like that.”

Kristoff kissed his hand gently. He held it close to his face for a second, getting one last comfort from his lover. Ryder felt peace wash over himself. They would be okay. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But one day they would.

---

“How is Kristoff taking it?” Maren asked as sipped on her hot tea.

She, Elsa, and Anna were spending the afternoon together, letting the boys have their space while they had a small Galentine’s Day together. It was Elsa’s idea, a way of keeping Anna distracted from the inevitable holiday and the email she would be getting tomorrow. Maren was happy to join in and spend the day drinking tea and watching Star Wars with them.

“He’s okay. Not great, but I think that’s to be expected in the situation,” Anna said, stroking Olaf as he laid in her lap. “He’s still going to work.”

“Well, that’s better than his last breakup,” Elsa commented, refilling her coffee cup.

“He didn’t go to work?” Maren asked, eyebrows raised.

Elsa shook her head, taking a small sip. “It was that girl he had been with for years. The one he bought a ring for.” It made Elsa sigh. She truly had broken him. He almost lost everything because of that woman’s malicious actions.

But this time was different. Ryder didn’t mean harm. The two could still be seen getting coffee together or playing basketball with their friends. Ryder didn’t leave him cold. And while Kristoff was hurt, he had a support network this time. Anna had been with him almost everyday since the breakup. Whether she was checking on him on his day off or working even more diligently in the cafe, she didn’t let him slip through the cracks. Anna hadn’t said much about what she was doing, but Elsa was glad she was doing it.

“Then he’s doing pretty good, I’d say,” Maren said. “Do you guys want to start this marathon? It’s getting near two. We could easily watch all three of the original trilogy by nine if we start now.”

Elsa smiled. “I still think we should start with the prequels, but as you wish, my love.” She stood and pressed a kiss into her girlfriend’s forehead.

Maren laughed. “Galentine’s Day is about loving yourself and friends, snowflake. Not putting yourself through hell.”

“They aren’t that bad,” Elsa pouted, looking towards her sister. “Right, Anna?”

But Anna didn’t respond. Her eyes were spaced out, her face pale as she looked at her phone. “Anna? Love? Are you okay?” Her breathing sped up as tears fell down her face. Elsa grabbed her hand, trying to ground her trembling sister.

“They set a date,” she breathed out. “For the hearing.”

Elsa’s eyes widened, and she reached to hold her sister tight. They weren’t supposed to tell her until tomorrow. They were supposed to be able to prepare. They were supposed to have their good day today and face tomorrow, well tomorrow.

But apparently that wasn’t what the world had in store for them today.

“When?” Elsa asked, softly.

“March 28th.”

Six weeks. They had six weeks to prepare. Six weeks to endure. Six weeks to survive.

Elsa held back her own tears and focused on her little sister. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise,” she said, her voice watery.

Maren put a soft hand on Anna’s back. “We aren’t gonna let anything happen to you. Not if me or Ryder or Kris or Elsa have anything to say about it.”

Anna gulped, holding tight to her sister and squeezing Maren’s hand. “Will you go with me? Both of you?”

Elsa ran a hand through her sister’s hair. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple.

Maren squeezed her hand back. “I think I can work something out for that.” She brushed a stray hair out of Anna’s face. “But in the meantime, why don’t we escape for a bit? Watch Luke Skywalker kick some butt, and feel a little bit better about the world?”

Anna nodded, untangling herself from Elsa and Maren.

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

She was so grateful not to be alone, not today. Her family was there, and they wouldn’t let her slip through the cracks. Worrying over plane tickets and hearings and vacation time could wait. She was going to spend time with her sister and friend, give into their comforts. And as the opening fanfare played, Anna could feel the semblance of peace.

[madlymiho]

No problem love ~

AU scenario, so I guess this entire angsty things is taking place in a modern world !

Anywaaaay, I hope you like it ! I gave all my emo heart for this

Law - Scenario (Angst)

Have you ever been madly in love? You know, that kind of love you can’t handle. That kind of everlasting pain you feel whenever you are around your crush. Even your breathing seem complicated. Your soul and your body are tied to someone else, and they just need to look at you to make your world shamble.

Law, well, he has already felt it once. A long time ago. He was young, back then. He was a boy, not a man. This is certainly why he acted this way. This person, he has loved them deeply. It was, in fact, the very first time he has been truly in love. A year of passion, sex, emotions…A year he has cherished until he had flew away to study abroad. He remembers how harsh he has been. Back then, he wasn’t really ready to say goodbye, so he has protected himself. That kind of goodbye that would break everything and free himself from this passion. A boy’s beliefs, yes.

“Oh, come on. You know it won’t work. Stop crying like it’s the end of the world, seriously, it’s pathetic. We are young, we have so much things to live, /name/-ya. This is useless, even for you. It’s not like we are supposed to end together anyway.”

Harsh yes. Too harsh. After that, he has never heard about them anymore. At first, it was all right. He was entirely focus on his studies, drained by his new country, his new friends, his new lovers… Nevertheless, them. Them. He kept them secretly trapped in his cold heart, unable to fall in love again. Unable to forget, even today…

“Black coffee, no sugar. Here you go, doc!”

“Ah, thanks.”

Law offers a smile to the barista, grabbing the cup with one hand, using the other one to put money on the counter.

“Keep the change.”

The barista thanks him brightly and Law turns his feet to reach his favorite table. He sits and opens his laptop, browsing google to find interesting articles about science subjects. It’s his day off, but he can’t help working a little. He knows this place by heart. He often comes when he doesn’t have a shift, just to relax and enjoy his time. He takes a swipe of coffee, focus, his long fingers taping on the keyboard. He doesn’t really care about his environment anymore; Law is a loner, he just sometimes catches the reality back when the barista comes to see him to ask if he wants something else. However, today is a different day. Today, there is someone who is waiting for their coffee, in front of the counter.

“Hello. I’d like a Cinnamon Dolce Latte please. No whip cream on the top.”

“Alright. What’s your name? You know, to put it on the cup.”

“Oh yes, sorry, it’s /name/.”

Law chokes on his coffee and immediately puts it down. He slowly lifts his head and looks at the counter. He knows this name. He knows this voice. He harshly swallows his spite as he recognizes them. They still have the same hair color, the same shape. He feels his heart falling dangerously into his guts, as he can’t stop staring at them. How many years? 7? 8? How many times he has imagined this moment. More than he can even count. He doesn’t know if he needs to jump under his table or simply greet them.

“Stop crying like it’s the end of the world, seriously, it’s pathetic.”

Law freezes, his own words haunting him like an everlasting tune. Why would he greet them when the last things he said was that? He has been such a jerk.

“Law?”

Oh.

He slowly turns his head and notices that his former lover has already paid for their drink, as he was lost in his thoughts. They are now standing in front of him, cupping their coffee as if they would drop it on the floor, at any moment. He looks at their face and immediately regrets it. They have grown up, indeed. Nevertheless, they did it in the best way possible. He feels his heart being stabbed as he meets their gorgeous eyes he has once loved and admired so much.

“Oh, /name/-ya,” he manages to say with an almost robotic voice. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah…” they answer with a sad smile. “Seven years already. I didn’t know you were back in town though?”

Law feels his mouth very dry. He tries to keep things casual, but his heart is hurting his chest like it would explode and his thoughts are a mix between sadness, regrets and happiness. A strange cocktail, indeed. He manages to offer a little smile, though:

“I’m a doctor. I’m working at the White Beard Clinic down town for a few months now.”

He sees their face is a bit different. A spark of anger in the back of their eyes as they definitely tries to keep a poker face. Law wants to punch himself. Why did he say that? It could only bring back bad memories.

“Glad for you. Your studies worked, it’s good to know. Welcome back, then, Law. See you around, maybe.”

They start to leave him, but Law has the strange reflex to catch their hand. They stop and turn around, not sure about Law’s behaviors. Law stands up, clenching his free fist. He’s not a boy anymore. He’s a man. And this man is full of regrets. This man needs to say what he has hidden for so many years. What he should have said a long time ago. He doesn’t lose his grip on their hand, digging his eyes into their irises.

“Back then. Back then, I acted like a kid,” he starts as he feels their hand quivering. “Back then, I didn’t have the courage to tell you I was afraid to lose you. So I pushed you away. I broke your heart. But what I didn’t know back then, was that I would broke mine too.”

They don’t speak, they just look at him. He feels they are lost as well, so he continues:

“I spent seven years with your ghost in my mind. I cried a lot. I haven’t lived so much things because I was young, you know. And the things I lived were just…tasteless without you. I told you we weren’t supposed to end together, remember? But now I’m convinced I’m not supposed to end with anyone except you.”

“Law…”

He closes his eyes for a second and presses their fingers with his hand:

“One coffee. Just now. I just ask you to take a seat at my table and drink one coffee,” he looks at them right in the eyes and sighs. “Please, /name/-ya.”

They doesn’t move for a moment, just staring at him with a blank expression. Then, he sees the little sparkle of tears at the corner of their eyes. They eventually nod, putting their bag on the floor, as they can’t stop looking at him:

“I swear, I imagined this moment a thousand times. I…I was ready to insult you. To slap you.”

Law pinches his lips and looks at the ground.

“But, I missed you, stupid boy.”

And just like that, the end of the sentence shatters his world forever.

[thegoldenyears-memories]

               ♡  ALL ABOUT US, a grace & jacob mix ♡

                                                               ( listen )

01. KID IN LOVE de shawn mendes ( and i know that we just met and maybe this is dumb but it feels like there was something from the moment that we touched ‘cause, it’s alright, it’s alright i wanna make you mine the way you’re lightin’ up the room caught the corner of my eye we can both sneak out the back door we don’t have to say goodbye 'cause, it’s alright, it’s alright to waste time tonight maybe i’m just a kid in love maybe i’m just a kid in love oh, baby if this is what it’s like falling in love then i don’t ever wanna grow up maybe i’m just a kid in love maybe i’m just a kid in love oh, baby it’d be cool if it’s the two of us but i don’t ever wanna grow up. )

02. SHARE YOUR ADDRESS de ben platt ( darling, you might think it’s too son but i can’t get you out of my head now picturing myself in your room and i wanna be with you 'til i’m dead now i want your friends to be my friends i’ll make you breakfast in your bed i want it all with you and if i’m coming on too strong it’s 'cause i’ve waited far too long for someone just like you i want a key to your house i wanna pick up your clothes i wanna clean up your mes i wanna know where you hide things wanna be in your photos wanna share your address i know, i know it’s too soon, too fast but this could last i wanna share your address i know, i know it, it feels like love so let’s shack up i wanna share your address. )

03. I DON’T CARE de ed sheeran & justin bieber ( 'cause i don’t care when i’m with my baby, yeah all the bad things disappear and you’re making me feel like maybe i am somebody i can deal with the bad nights when i’m with my baby, yeah ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 'cause i don’t care, as long as you just hold me near you can take me anywhere and you’re making me feel like i’m loved by somebody i can deal with the bad nights when i’m with my baby, yeah ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. )

04. MINE de taylor swift ( i say, “can you believe it?” as we’re lying on the couch the moment i can see it. yes, yes, i can see it now. do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter. you are the best thing that’s ever been mine. flash forward and we’re taking on the world together, and there’s a drawer of my things at your place. you learn my secrets and you figure out why i’m guarded, you say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes. )

05. LA CORRECTA de morat & nabález ( te cuento que me encuentro enamorado y siento que esta vez es la correcta. te cuento para mi ella es perfecta, con todos sus defectos y pecados. sé que con otras yo me he equivocado, he quedado contra el mundo y he perdido la esperanza. porque, aunque llevo cargas del pasado cuando ella está a mi lado se equilibra la balanza y nada me cansa. no pienso dar un paso atrás en el camino que me lleve hacia tus besos, no pienso en eso se los confieso, hoy me arriesgo a todo sin mirar atrás. )

06. FALLIN’ ALL IN YOU de shawn mendes ( be yours, be my dear so close with you on my lips touch noses, feeling your breath push your heart and pull away, yeah be my summer in a winter day love i can’t see one thing wrong between the both of us be mine, be mine, yeah anytime, anytime ooh, you know i’ve been alone for quite a while haven’t i? i thought i knew it all found love but i was wrong more times than enough but since you came along i’m thinking baby you are bringing out a different kind of me there’s no safety net that’s underneath, i’m free falling all in you fell for men who weren’t how they appeared, yeah trapped up on a tightrope now we’re here, we’re free falling all in you. )

07. IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND de taylor swift ( church bells ring, carry me home rice on the ground looks like snow call my bluff, call you “babe” have my back, yeah, every day feels like home, stay in bed the whole weekend it’s nice to have a friend (ooh.) )

08. EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU de one direction ( it’s everything about you, you, you everything that you do, do, do from the way that we touch, baby to the way that you kiss on me it’s everything about you, you, you (everything about you) the way you make it feel, new, new, new like every party is just us two and there’s nothing i could point to it’s everything about you, you, you (everything about you) everything about you, you, you (everything about you) it’s everything that you do, do, do (everything about you) it’s everything about you. )

09. KISS ME KISS ME de 5 seconds of summer ( can i call, wake you up on a sunday? late night, i think we need a getaway headlights, hold tight, turn the radio loud (turn the radio loud) let me know where to go and i’ll get you there tell the truth and i’ll show you how to dare flashlights, held tight, we can own this town never say goodbye and so kiss me, kiss me, kiss me and tell me that i’ll see you again 'cause i don’t know if i can let you go. )

10. TENERIFE SEA de ed sheeran ( should this be the last thing i see i want you to know it’s enough for me 'cause all that you are is all that i’ll ever need i’m so in love, so in love so in love, so in love you look so beautiful in this light your silhouette over me the way it brings out the blue in your eyes is the tenerife sea. )

11. LIGHTS ON de shawn mendes ( damn, you look so good with your clothes on and i’m not trying to come off too strong but you know that i can’t help it cause girl you’re beautiful and i can’t deny i want your body but i’m a gentleman so i’ll be the one who takes it slowly cause girl you’re so beautiful i wanna love you with the lights on keep you up all night long darling, i wanna see every inch of you i get lost in the way you move i wanna love you with the lights on hold you 'til the night’s gone darling, i wanna see every inch of you i get lost in the way you move i wanna love you with the lights on. )

12. ADORE YOU de harry styles ( you don’t have to say you love me you don’t have to say nothing you don’t have to say you’re mine honey i’d walk through fire for you just let me adore you oh honey i’d walk through fire for you just let me adore you like it’s the only thing i’ll ever do. )

13. OURS de taylor swift ( so don’t you worry your pretty little mind people throw rocks at things that shine and life makes love look hard the stakes are high, the water’s rough but this love is ours. )

14. NEVER BE ALONE de shawn mendes ( take a piece of my heart and make it all your own so when we are apart you’ll never be alone you’ll never be alone you’ll never be alone when you miss me close your eyes i may be far but never gone when you fall asleep tonight just remember that we lay under the same stars. )

15. YOU ARE IN LOVE de taylor swift ( you can hear it in the silence (silence), silence (silence) you can feel it on the way home (way home), way home (way home) you can see it with the lights out (lights out), lights out (lights out) you are in love, true love you are in love. )

16. YOU’RE MINE de lea michele ( and i told you all my dreams and fears and you looked at me and your eyes filled with tears and you said those three words i’ve been waiting for you became a part of me, yeah you’re mine, for life and i’ll be by your side we are entwined you’re mine, for life hold me until we die i’m yours and you are mine. )

17. MR. LOVERBOY de little mix ( loving you feels so right from the way you kiss me and how you hold me tight, no and every day with you is a surprise you put a smile on my fase don’t ever wanna have to say goodbye. )

18. IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU de shawn mendes ( i can’t write one song that’s not about you can’t drink without thinking about you is it too late to tell you that everything means nothing if i can’t have you? )

19. DIRTY LAUNDRY de all time low ( nobody’s perfect i confess but she’s perfect enough without ever dressing up yeah dirty laundry is piling in her room she’s got her secrets yeah i got mine too i don’t care about what you did only care about what we do dirty laundry looks good on you. )

20. TINY LOVE de mika ( our kind of love it gets better everyday crazy colors in the gray, our love tiny love, it’s a tiny love. )

21. ENCHANTED de taylor swift ( and it was enchanting to meet you all i can say is i was enchanted to meet you this night is sparkling, don’t you let it go i’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home i’ll spend forever wondering if you knew i was enchanted to meet you. )

22. TRULY MADLY DEEPLY de one direction ( like all those days and weeks and months i tried to steal a kiss and all those sleepless nights and daydreams where i pictured this, i’m just the underdog who finally got the girl and i am not ashamed to tell it to the world truly, madly, deeply, i am foolishly, completely falling and somehow you kicked all my walls in so baby, say you’ll always keep me truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you in love with you. )

23. NERVOUS de shawn mendes ( i get a little bit nervous around you get a little bit stressed out when i think about you get a little excited baby, when i think about you, yeah talk a little too much around you (i talk a little too much, yeah) get a little self-conscious when i think about you (i get a little self-conscious) get a little excited (i get a little excited) baby, when i think about you, yeah yeah, when i think about you, babe. )

24. HEARTS DON’T BREAK AROUND HERE de ed sheeran ( she is the sweetest thing that i know you should see the way she holds me when the lights go low shakes my soul like a pot hole, every time took my heart upon a one way trip guess she went wandering off with it unlike most women i know this one will bring it back whole daisies, daisies perched upon your forehead oh my baby, lately i know that every night i’ll kiss you you’ll say in my ear oh we’re in love aren’t we? hands in your hair, fingers and thumbs baby i feel safe when you’re holding me near love the way that you conquer your fear you know hearts don’t break around here oh yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah. )

25. MI VIDA ENTERA de morat ( y es que al fin si te casas con un loco vas a ver que es la magia poco a poco no podrás distinguir entre besos y palabras un te quiero no me alcanza dame todo, di que sí y si bailamos, tan solo bailamos y si tus pies nuestra historia escribieran como si fuera este el final de un cuento y nadie más en el mundo existiera. )

26. DELICATE de taylor swift ( is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you’re in my head? 'cause i know that it’s delicate (delicate) is it cool that i said all that? is it too soon to do this yet? 'cause i know that it’s delicate isn’t it? isn’t it? isn’t it? isn’t it? isn’t it? isn’t it? isn’t it? isn’t it? delicate. )

27. CONTIGO SIEMPRE de sebastian yatra y alejandro fernández ( le doy gracias al destino por cruzarte en mi camino no sé qué sería de mi vida si conmigo tú no estuvieras hoy no hay nada más hermoso qué acompañarte a cada momento momentos bueno o malos siguen firmes mis sentimientos por ti no cambian sabes muy bien que a lado tuyo tuyo quiero estar en un futuro. )

28 YOUR LOVE de little mix ( deeper than oceans, the sweetest devotion, it’s all i need you pull me close and there’s no way that i can describe what your love make me feel like, oh your love make me feel like, oh your love make me feel like, oh dirty dancing in the moonlight that’s what your love make me feel like, oh your love make me feel like, oh your love make me feel like, oh come and kiss me like the first time that’s what your love make me feel like. )

29. WAKE ME UP de ed sheeran ( and you will never know just how beautiful you are to me but maybe i’m just in love when you wake me up. )

30. LOVER de taylor swift ft. shawn mendes ( can i go where you go? can we always be this close forever and ever? and ah, take me out and take me home (forever and ever) you’re my, my, my, my lover ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? with every guitar string scar on my hand i take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover my heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue all’s well that ends well to end up with you swear to be over-dramatic and true to my lover and you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me and at every table, i’ll save you a seat lover. )

31. NO HAY NADIE MÁS de sebastian yatra ( recuerdo aquel día como si fuera hoy no hay nada como ella ni siquiera me encontró recuerdo todavía la vez que la besé fue mi primer amor y ahora escribo su canción hay algo más, inexplicable como su mirada inigualable como la manera en que me cela y trata de disimular que no está mal voy a cuidarte por las noches, voy a amarte sin reproches te voy a extrañar en la tempestad y aunque existan mil razones para renunciar no hay nadie más (no hay nadie más.) )

32. THE WAY I LOVED YOU de taylor swift ( he is sensible and so incredible and all my single friends are jealous he says everything i need to hear and it’s like i couldn’t ask for anything better he opens up my door and i get into his car and he says you look beautiful tonight and i feel perfectly fine. )

33. STARLIGHT de taylor swift ( i said, “oh my, what a marvelous tune” it was the best night, never would forget how we moved. the whole place was dressed to the nines, and we were dancing, dancing like we’re made of starlight like we’re made of starlight. )

34. LEGO HOUSE de ed sheeran ( i’m gonna pick up the pieces and build a lego house if things go wrong we can knock it down my three words have two meanings but there’s one thing on my mind it’s all for you. )

35. KING OF MY HEART de taylor swift ( i’m perfectly fine, i live on my own i made up my mind, i’m better off being alone we met a few weeks ago now you try on calling me, baby, like trying on clothes salute to me i’m your american queen and you move to me like i’m a motown beat and we rule the kingdom inside my room 'cause all the boys and their expensive cars with their range rovers and their jaguars never took me quite where you do and all at once, you are the one i have been waiting for king of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa and all at once, you are all i want, i’ll never let you go king of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa. )

36. PERFECT de ed sheeran ( baby, i’m dancing in the dark with you between my arms barefoot on the grass listening to our favourite song when you said you looked a mes i whispered underneath my breath but you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight. )

37. CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT de taylor swift ( my baby’s fit like a daydream walking with his head down i’m the one he’s walking to so call it what you want, yeah call it what you want to my baby’s fly like a jet stream high above the whole scene loves me like i’m brand new (call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) so call it what you want, yeah call it what you want to i want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck chain round my neck not because he owns me but 'cause he really knows me which is more than they can say, i i recall late november, holding my breath slowly i said, “you don’t need to save me but would you run away with me?” yes (would you run away?) )

38. WRITE YOUR NAME de selena gomez ( take my arm, take my hand make your mark like a man write your name, gonna write your name hurts so good, love and pain when all fades, you remain write your name, gonna write your name write your name across my heart write your name over every part and we could be worlds apart write your name across my heart. )

39. DON’T GO BREAKING MY HEART de backstreet boys ( i’m not that kind of person who can fall in and out of love with you that’s not what love’s supposed to do i’m not that kind of person who can fall in and out of love with you that’s not what love’s supposed to do baby, don’t go breaking my heart, breaking my heart. )

40. ¿DÓNDE ESTABAS TÚ? de danna paola ( antes de encontrarte yo dude si él amor se había hecho para mi hasta que llegaste pude ver por primera vez al corazón latir has cambiado todo en segundos me has dado un nuevo rumbo y aquí soy feliz aunque este mundo pronto deje de girar y las estrellas ya no vuelvan a brillar a ti yo me aferrare, te amaré no importa que habrá después aunque la vida entera tenga que entregar juro que nunca nada nos separará porque me has dado luz, un cielo azul y dime, ¿dónde estabas tú? ¿dónde estabas tú? )

41. CREO EN TI de reik ( creo en ti y en este amor que me vuelve indestructible que detuvo mi caída libre creo en ti y mi dolor se quedo kilómetros atrás mis fantasmas hoy por fin están en paz el pasado es un mal sueño que acabó un incendio que en tus brazos se apagó cuando estaba a medio paso de caer mis silencios se encontraron con tu voz te seguí y reescribiste mi futuro es aquí mi único lugar seguro. )

42. ALL ABOUT US de he is we ( ‘cause lovers dance when they’re feelin’ in love spotlight’s shinin’ it’s all about us it’s all about us and every heart in the room will melt this is a feeling i’ve never felt but it’s all about us suddenly, i’m feeling brave i don’t know what’s got into me why i feel this way can we dance real slow? can i hold you can i hold you close? )

╰  ❄  feliz navidad y año nuevo, ale.

—; de: dannie ( @the-raven-guy​​ )

—; para: ale ( @fitzgeraldxg​​ )

Ale: 

Hola bebe ¿como estas? espero que estés muy bien, pues por aquí ando yo con la bonita sorpresa que soy uno de tus santas secretos y con nada mas y nada menos que la hermosa de Grace. Creo que no te he agradecido lo suficiente por traer esta niña al dash y por la hermosa SHIP que son Grace y Jacob. Por eso mismo cuando vi tu lista dije tengo que hacer algo sobre ellos y que mejor que un fanmix de si 42 canciones que me recuerdan a ellos y que son tan soft que son ellos (la 22 spotify me odia y no esta pero te deje un link). Espero en verdad disfrutes estas canciones que seleccione con amor.

Sabes que te quiero mucho, amo nuestros ships con todo mi corazón. Y que siempre puedes contar conmigo para todo. Te mando un beso y un abrazo enorme y espero hayas pasado una navidad hermosa y un año nuevo muy bonito y que te deseo lo mejor en este 2020.

Con mucho amor, 

                                            — dannie. 🎅

[jinterlude]

Our Second Chance (Ch.2)

↳Story Header © @softjeon (do not steal this header!)

➳ Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Female OC

➳ Genre(s): Modern!AU, Royalty!AU, Modern Royal Family!AU , Enemies turned Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Romance, & Angst

➳ Words: 5.5K

➳ Summary: Have you ever gotten that familiar feeling when you first see someone? That strange connection between yourselves even though you have no clue where that came from. Yeah…that was the sensation that Sumin felt on a daily basis ever since she has come face-to-face with the one and only Kim Seokjin. Despite being named after their ancestors, two people who were madly in love with each other, these two cannot stand to be in each other’s presence. However, that must change or else history will repeat itself. Sounds like an adventure, right?

※ Previously: ch.1

※ Next time: ch.3 | ch.4 | ch.5 | ch.6 | ch.7 | coming soon!

Chapter 2 – You are so Infuriating!

Previously

Seokjin’s hostility towards Sumin were idiotic, and he needed a to see the real Sumin. Not some fake one concocted by the tabloids.

Before he could create some elaborate plan to get Seokjin to date Sumin, Namjoon felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and looked down, immediately meeting Sumin’s hopeful gaze.

Fuck his life.

         “So, what did he say?” Sumin asked, trying to make the eagerness in her voice.

Namjoon exhaled deeply as his cheeks puffed.

         “Yeah…he said no…” He answered awkwardly.

Sumin looked taken back. Why had he said no? Great. Here came a storm of questions, creating almost a hurricane within her mind. She had developed that reaction whenever she became anxious over something, especially when the nerves resulted from an important issue at hand.

         “What? Why? He hasn’t even seen me yet…That makes little to no sense.”

         “Oh…time to tell you a story, my dear Sumin…”

Her heart raced against her chest, pounding as if someone played with it like a drum. Soft tones of red painted her cheeks as her feet created carpet prints from all the pacing she had done. Her hands flew up in the air. Her voice, an octave higher.

Short growls managed to escape whenever Sumin took a breath or when she no longer found the right words to spew out.

Why had she allowed this man to rile her up to the point of venting to her dear female friend?

Better question was—why was Kim fucking Seokjin preoccupying her mind 24/7? If it had been any other person, Sumin would have ghosted him or her. She respected herself enough to never allow someone attack her the way Seokjin did. Nope. Never.

Yet…

Here she was. Walking back and forth, in a perfect straight line, as she poured her innermost feelings to Sowon, a newly appointed queen and dearest and truest friend. Well, aside from Namjoon.

These two ladies had met at Sumin’s engagement party. While Namjoon conversed with his buddies, Sumin wondered around the ballroom until she accidentally bumped into someone and caused the victim to spill the contents of their drink. Naturally, Sumin, who had been quite flustered, apologized like her life depended on it, and the person laughed and commented how cute she was being. The person then introduced herself as Sowon, princess and soon-to-be queen once she was of age. Sumin blushed from embarrassment, while stuttering over her own name—the downside of being incredibly shy.

         “You know Sumin…I think you and I will get along just wonderfully.” Sowon commented with a friendly smile.

Sumin’s eyes widened, obviously shocked with the sudden new friend.

         “Oh! Uh…okay!”

And, the rest was history…

         “I still can’t believe that twat implied that I was some sort of heartbreaker! Like, did his brain even remotely think that, “Hmm…I think those rumors are indeed false, and Princess Sumin is this wonderful and down-to-earth girl.” UGH!” exclaimed Sumin before emitting a frustrated fueled groan.

Sowon chuckled softly, finding it rather amusing that her best friend was getting extremely worked up over someone. From all her years of being her friend, Sowon had never once seen Sumin get this worked up. Normally, Sumin would brush off those types of attacks.

Yet, here she was, pacing back and forth in the lounge of her bedroom, ranting as if her life depended on it.

This Kim Seokjin fella must be special to her.

         “I know! Usually, the heartbreaker title belongs to me,” Sowon began, pushing herself off the wall she rested against, “Something must be wrong with this person. I think he’s confused in the head.” She finished, flinging her arm around Sumin’s shoulders.

A look of displeasure graced Sumin’s face. She was always one to rarely accept signs of affection—regardless if it was on a romantic or platonic level. She’d shy away from those types of actions.

Tiny groans soon followed the displeased expression. While with Sowon, the widest grin appeared on her conniving lips as she knew how uncomfortable Sumin was. Honestly, Sowon knew Sumin better than she knew herself. It was quite terrifying.

         “Okay, can you let me go now? I think that’s enough affection for the day…” asked Sumin, feeling Sowon’s grip tighten. This woman…

Sowon patted the poor princess on the head, further annoying her, “Fine but just know that I love you, and we will get through this rough patch together.”

Sumin’s mouth nearly dropped to the floor as she questioned herself why she was still friends with this queen.

Oh—that was right—she was too shy for her own good, so any forms of camaraderie were rare.

Yeah…

She should go see a therapist or something…

Sumin then swatted Sowon’s hand away and smoothed out her hair.

         “Wait, how on Earth did we get off track?” asked Sumin as she finally realized that they were no longer talking about Seokjin but instead acting as if they had a couple’s spat and now were patching things up.

Sowon simply shrugged, “I don’t know, but I got you to stop talking about Seokjin though.”

Then, as if she said the magic word, Sowon triggered Sumin yet again.

         “Speaking of which, he’s not even that good looking I don’t understand why people say that he’s one of the, if not the handsomest gentleman to ever exist. If anything, his looks are about average. Shit…Namjoon is even handsomer than him!” proclaimed Sumin; her voice reached an octave higher than normal.

A long sigh escaped her lips as Sowon hung her head low. There she went on her famous and rather long rants. She had to put a stop to it, especially if she wanted to have time to prepare for her first of many dates with Prince Jungkook.

Sowon waved her arms frantically and shouted at Sumin, earning the princess’s undivided attention before she truly went off.

         “How about this, since I am, after all, queen, I will propose a marriage alliance in which Seokjin will be engaged to my cousin. She has a thing for idiots, and you’ll be scotch free!” she proposed, stifling a laughter that slowly formed in her chest.

Sumin stopped in her tracks. Her breath hitched. Marriage? To another?

If this were any other guy, she’d be jumping at the chance to get rid of him. Yet…something stopped her. Something clicked in her mind. Like, someone held her shoulder, preventing her from moving towards Sowon.

Whatever this was—Sumin disliked it. She disliked it majorly.

         “I’m one phone call away from offering my cousin up to Seokjin.” Sang Sowon, hovering her finger over the “call” button.

Sumin groaned, stomping her feet on the plush carpet.

         “Don’t!” she shouted, turning to face Sowon, who was busy grinning and showing off her locked phone. “You weren’t going to call anyone, were you?” Sumin asked with a blank face.

Sowon shook her head as tiny chuckles managed to escape.

         “Besides, I think it would be rather funny to have you two meet again! Especially, after what you told me when Namjoon explained to you why that pretty boy despised your guts.” She said.

         “Don’t remind me…” Sumin mumbled.

Sumin gawked after hearing the words that came out Namjoon’s mouth. Was he being serious right now? The only freaking reason why Seokjin would not go on a date with her and at least try to form a relationship was that he believed those motherfucking tabloids. Instead of being painted as the people’s princess, Seokjin saw her as the kingdom’s stuck up heartbreaker. This little man eater that had different fellas in her bed every single night.

That had to be the farthest from her true self—her true persona. Why could he not see that?

         “Are you okay, Sumin? You’re unnaturally quiet about this…” Namjoon asked, carefully picking his words.

Sumin clenched and unclenched her hands. This unspeakable anger bubbled within the pits of her stomach. Her breathing grew heavy. Her bottom lip practically disappeared.

Namjoon cautiously walked up to the trembling woman. He gently placed a warm hand on her shoulder, but the moment his hand touched her clothed skin, Sumin unleashed Hell.

         “That. Spineless. Idiotic. Jellyfish!” She practically screamed, causing Namjoon to quickly cover his ears.

He slowly uncovered them, though ready to do it again just in case she wasn’t quite done. He waited ten more seconds before deeming it safe to keep his precious ears uncovered.

         “Those are pretty colorful words, Sumin.” Teased Namjoon, earning himself an icy cold glare from the princess.

         “Shut up, Namjoon. I can’t believe that he’s believing those tasteless rumors instead of giving me a chance!” Sumin complained; her voice raised in octave.

         “Yeah. Well. For having earned his bachelor’s degree, Seokjin isn’t that smart.”

Namjoon’s sentence echoed throughout her mind—on repeat—like a broken record.

Sumin stared blankly at a random spot on the wall while with Sowon, she couldn’t help but feel helpless for her dear friend.

Wait.

That was it.

Sumin needed to stop being her dear friend and this charismatic princess. She needed to be this princess that radiated confidence.

Sowon developed a fool proof plan in her intelligent brain. Her level of intelligence was practically on par with Namjoon. Go her.

         “Well, I have an idea, my soft and cuddly princess. You just need to channel… well channel your inner me.”

         “I’m not going to like this, aren’t I?”

A few days later, Sumin stared deeply at her laptop screen. Her right index finger circled the rim of her wine glass as she muttered every other word on a document. A document that had been sent to her by her personal assistant and most-trustworthy confidant.

Her fingers lightly tapped the keys as the surge of creativity flowed through her veins. Tiny mumbles was only thing audible from the princess as she quickly read over her strongly worded letter to the royal families of both Thailand and Malaysia.

According to her resources, Seokjin had spent countless of years to seal the trading deal with those families but failed miserably. Both of the kings had flat out rejected him, citing that they would “only do deals with a member of a royal family”.

Ouch. That had to hurt his pride since, after all, Seokjin held the title of “Duke” in his kingdom.

         “I swear…their mindsets remind me of King Ji Yong…” Sumin bitterly thought as her body tensed slightly but soon relaxed. Just the mere thought of that terrible king sent shivers down her spine.

She was so glad that her kingdom were on the right path to restoring their true family traditions. Not some bullshit that King Ji Yong created to make sure that their family remained pure.

News flash. No one had pure royal blood in her family.

Now reading over the last line, Sumin smiled proudly to herself before editing her letter. If she wanted Seokjin to even consider her deal, then the letter had to be flawless.

With a firm nod, Sumin clicked “save” and then “print”. She rolled over to her printer and picked up the important piece of document. Then, she rolled back to her desk, grabbed her favorite fountain pen, and signed it.

For added measure, she added her family’s royal symbol and then sealed it inside an envelope.

Then, something had dawned on her. While yes, she had managed to uncover Seokjin’s struggles with Thailand and Malaysia, she had failed to discover the location of his company.

         “You jumped the gun, Sumin…” She muttered under her breath as she picked up her office’s phone and quickly dialed the number of the one person who held the missing puzzle piece.

Before it could reach the third ring, a familiar voice happily greeted Sumin.

         “How’s it going with being a stalker, Sumin?” asked the person with a playful tone.

Sumin rolled her eyes, “Ha-ha. Very funny, Namjoon,” She said sarcastically, “Look, I need a favor.” She added.

         “What kind of favor? Please tell me I don’t have to act like the dutiful fiancé. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love being your friend but when your family asks us to kiss…yeah…no. Just no.” Namjoon stated, feeling the urge to gag.

Sumin nearly choked, “Yeah. No. The favor doesn’t involve you acting like my love-stricken fiancé. I actually need to know the location of Seokjin’s office.”

On Namjoon’s end, he couldn’t help but raise his brow. He found it rather odd that she was asking for the address of Seokjin’s business.

Wanting to be on the careful side of the spectrum, Namjoon asked her why, drawing out the last syllable.

Meanwhile, with Sumin, the temptation to punch him increased with each passing second.

         “I’m waiting Princess Sumin…” she heard Namjoon taunt.

Before speaking, Sumin slowly inhaled then exhaled.

         “I need to know where his company is because I decided to help him out and write a rather convincing letter to the royal families of Malaysia and Thailand, so that way he can finally seal the deal.” Sumin explained with gritted teeth.

Namjoon’s chuckles was heard through on her end followed by the address of Seokjin’s company. He then instructed her to behave herself while she was there.

         “Try not to maim him, okay?” Namjoon quickly added before hanging up.

Sumin rolled her eyes yet again. She could swear that she had been doing that quite frequently whenever she talked with him.

One of the many privileges of being his friend, she assumed. She placed the phone back on its dock and turned off her desk lamp. She grabbed the envelope and walked towards the door.

Just as she turned off the main light, an amusing thought occurred in her mind,

         “Prepare yourself, Lord Seokjin. I’m about to offer you a deal that you can’t possibly refuse.”

And as if someone pressed the fast-forward button, the crescent moon lowered itself behind the horizon and soon, the beautiful sun took its place high in the sky. Birds sang the song of romance while a few butterflies danced with each other.

The nice, calming breeze brushed through the green leaves as it made its way towards a window—a princess’s window to be exact.

The soft wind fanned her face, causing the tired princess to open her eyes. A faint groan escaped her precious lips as she tried her hardest to focus on the time on her clock.

Then, her eyes shot opened. She scrambled out of bed and ran towards the bathroom, shedding off her pajamas in the process.

Yeah.

It was safe to assume Sumin ran late for her “meeting” with Seokjin.

Today would either make or break her. Today would decide her fate. Her fate regarding her marriage to Namjoon.

No pressure…

With the lights shining brightly in her bathroom, Sumin had a better look at her appearance in the mirror. Before hopping in the shower, she did a quick glance over, concocting the perfect look to entice Seokjin—or at least earn her the right type of judgement from him.

         “I think my usual natural, yet elegant look will do the trick. Both Sowon and Namjoon had said that my natural beauty was my number one feature.” She thought as she shrugged off her bathrobe and got inside the shower.

Thirty minutes later, she resurfaced, smelling like a sweet flower. She ran her towel all over body, hoping the fabric picked up all the droplets that lingered. Then, once all the droplets disappeared, she gently rubbed her towel on her scalp before wrapping it around her head.

Sumin exited the steamy bathroom and walked over to her rather large walk-in closet. She headed over to the section where her casual clothes hung around and picked out the perfect combination for the Spring day. She settled with a pastel green blouse and black skirt with white polka dots. She then chose her favorite pair of wedges before exiting.

Looking at the time, she quickly blew dry her hair and then curled it, creating nice loose ringlets. Once that was done, Sumin swiftly did her makeup before rushing out her bedroom. She hurried down the stairs and greeted everyone and anyone that came into her line of sight. After, she requested for the driver to take her somewhere, not caring if her tummy had been empty as she walked out to the garage.

Now mouthing the lyrics to the song that played over the radio, Sumin sat anxiously in her car. Nerves bested her as she had skipped breakfast. She didn’t even want her emergency mixed berry smoothie.

What on Earth had Seokjin done to her? Ever since she had seen his picture, that strange sensation in the back of her mind grew stronger each day. She would find herself in the family archives, staring at her ancestor’s portrait. If that wasn’t freaky enough, Sumin would talk to it, begging for advice or some sort of sign that Seokjin would be the one to get her out of the arranged marriage with Namjoon.

One could only hope…

After what seemed like an eternity of driving, Sumin snapped out of her thoughts once she heard the driver announce they had arrived at Seokjin’s company.

Sumin smiled politely at the driver and told him she would call him if she needed a ride back. The driver bowed in respect, smiling and acknowledging his new orders. He then exited the driver’s side and rushed over to Sumin’s door, though, he knew it would be pointless since his princess liked doing things herself. He would never understand the rumors that circled around. The rumors where it stated that she was this lazy, underappreciating person. Those slandering words had to be stopped. If only there was something he and the rest of the workers could do.

Snapping back into reality, the driver kindly bid Sumin farewell before returning to the driver’s seat and driving off.

Sumin stayed until the vehicle was no longer seen. She then turned her body towards the building; her eyes widened at the intimidating, skyscraper that Seokjin called a business.

Her heartbeat sped up. Her breathing grew sporadic. Here came the unwanted the nerves that she had spent a majority of the morning containing. Yeah. That was a waste of her efforts.

         “You can do this, Sumin. This is just like any other meeting. You are fierce. You are confident. Do not let the haters get to you. You know your truth.” Sumin chanted repeatedly as she strode over to the double glass doors and grabbed the handle.

She pulled it slowly, earning an alarm expression from the receptionist.

The female receptionist, who appeared to be in her early to mid-thirties, looked at the princess; her expression visibly surprised. Why was another kingdom’s princess visiting? More importantly, why was she here visiting her workplace? Oh no… what had her boss done this time?

Seokjin’s infamous arrogance was almost always the reason why visiting members of a royal family appeared in front of her eyes.

Great. Just flipping great.

         “Excuse me? Do you know where Seokjin’s office is located at?” The receptionist heard Sumin ask, “Um, Ms. Lee?”

Ms. Lee shook her heard briefly, snapping herself back into reality.

         “Of course, your highness. He is located at the top floor. The fiftieth floor to be precise. I believe he is currently in there preparing for his 11 o’clock board meeting.” She answered with a polite smile.

Sumin smiled sweetly and bowed her head; a tiny gesture that said, “Thank you.”

Before Sumin could turn away and walk towards the elevator, she heard Ms. Lee say something. Sumin hummed in response, then asked if she could repeat what she had said.

         “I know it is none of my business, your highness, but I just wanted to tell you that I had those vicious rumors about you—”

         “Pardon my interruption but before you have an opinion about my so called “personality”, please get to know me first and then decide whether those stories are true or not.” Sumin chimed in, ready to defend herself.

Ms. Lee became alarmed—flustered even. She did not want this headstrong, yet lovable princess think the worse of her and lump her with those idiotic “news” reporters.

         “Of course, not princess! I was about to tell you that I do not believe such trashy words that those people had written about you. Believe it or not, but my parents would tell me tales of your grandfather’s reign. If I recall correctly, he was extremely good friends with my king. People would go on to say that they had been the best of friends. Practically brothers, so I personally do not understand where those fake reporters are getting their information from.” Ms. Lee said with hints of frustration in her voice.

Sumin couldn’t help but smile after hearing Ms. Lee’s rant. It honestly made her feel a bit of joy to hear someone defend her honor. Now, Sumin only wished that Seokjin could see the light and do the same.

Only time would tell… Let’s just hope he’d see reason and give her a fair chance.

Sumin sighed softly with a small smile before thanking the receptionist for being both helpful and lifting her spirits. Ms. Lee happily told the princess that she did not have to thank her as she was only stating her feelings.

Sumin bid her a fond farewell before walking towards the elevator, where her journey to Seokjin continued…

After a few minutes in the elevator, the doors opened. Sumin’s body tensed at the sight of like a hundred office workers staring in awe at her. An awkward smile graced her lips as Sumin didn’t think of anything else to do except give them a shy wave.

That shy wave caused the poor princess to nervously chuckle. God, she wanted to bury herself in a hole and never come up. Sumin bitterly thought that the Gods made her a princess as a form of torture because she was born more on the introverted side of the spectrum. Funny, right?

Sumin anxiously stepped out of the elevator and politely asked where Seokjin’s office was at.

In an instant, every single finger on that floor all pointed at a certain direction. Sumin was unsure she should find that action funny or rather scary.

She quickly bowed deeply as she shouted a quick thanks before stepping forward towards the direction of Seokjin’s office.

Each time she had passed an office worker, she’d bowed her head politely, smiling softly to every one of them. After all, they were people too. Just like her.

With each step she took, the more she closed the gap between herself and Seokjin. As she passed each office worker, she wanted to stop in her tracks. Why? Well, that was I because she heard yet another office worker defending her so to speak.

         “I told you those rumors were false! Princess Sumin is nothing like how the tabloids painted her out to be.”

Sumin sighed softly with a sincere smile as she finally closed the gap between her Seokjin’s office.

Let’s just hope that lady luck lingered around when she came face-to-face with Seokjin…

Lightly knocking on his door, Sumin opened slowly, peeking her head through. Her heart skipped beat at the sight of his back towards her. The lighting created this holy aura around him, making him appear to be “good to be true”.

She continued to stare at Seokjin’s backside; her mouth dropped just a smidge. Seriously—could you blame her?

Then, it had been cut short when she heard a rather angry voice.

         “What are YOU doing here?!”

Sumin flinched from the harsh tone of voice. Okay, she took it back. Any tiny romantic that were in development had been squashed immediately. The only emotion she felt towards that thoughtless fool was pure annoyance and anger. Now, she rather marry Namjoon while Seokjin jumped off a bridge.

         “Wow. Is that anyway you talk to someone who is of a higher title than you?” Sumin asked with narrowed eyes.

Seokjin rolled his eyes in response. He wasn’t about to play Sumin’s little game—or he wasn’t until Sumin added a little snide remark that easily riled him up.

         “You know what? It probably is, especially after you said that you wouldn’t go on a date with some stuck-up princess who so happens to be a heartbreaker as well but as a matter of fact, I wouldn’t go out with some arrogant asshole who is pretty much too stupid to think for himself and has to rely what he reads in the magazines.” Sumin said as a devious smirk slowly appeared on her lips.

Yup.

That did it.

Seokjin threw his papers onto his desk and practically stomped over to the princess. His face red with anger as he closed the gap between their bodies fairly quickly.

Unknowingly, Sumin backed up; her back hitting the wall lightly. However, she wasn’t about to back down. She never backed down to anyone, especially a man.

         “You don’t even know me, Princess Sumin.” Seokjin began but was soon interrupted.

         “And you don’t even know me, Sir Seokjin.” Sumin matched his cold glare.

Seokjin growled in annoyance. This princess got his nerves.

         “Well, sorry sweetheart, but I don’t want to even be in the same vicinity as you let alone actually talk to you.” He stated, smirking.

Sumin scoffed, “One, don’t call me sweetheart. Two, I was right to call you stupid since not only are we in the same vicinity, as you “kindly” mentioned, but you are also talking to me,” She paused, clicking her tongue, “Yeah, I don’t think I want my future offspring to inherit your stupidity,” She then mustered the sweetest smile ever, “So, thank you for turning me down. You saved me the effort of having to reject your sorry ass later on.” She finished her speech with a bang.

Unfortunately, that was only the beginning. The both of them refused to back down. Their voices raised in pitch every time a new argument came out of their respective mouths.

As they were spewing words after words, this foreign sensation filled their hearts. Their minds became a muddled mess yet Seokjin and Sumin still had a little bit of control over themselves. They knew what they were saying yet not really.

If anything, the way they were arguing almost seemed like if their ancestors were taking control over them…

         “I’m telling you for the last time, you stupid knight-in-training, you cannot tell me what to do. You are not my father, the KING of this realm, nor are you my mother, the QUEEN. Now, kindly leave me alone or else I am going to force feed you some mud.” A fifteen-year-old Sumin said, threatening her annoying yet dearest friend. Her only friend.

A sixteen-year-old Seokjin rolled his eyes and stuck his sword into the ground.

         “My job as your future personal knight is to keep you safe, so why not start now? I mean, I am around you almost all the time.” He argued with a knowing gleam in his eyes.

Sumin sighed loudly; the feeling of pure annoyance washed over face. She crossed her arms as she walked up to him.

Seokjin’s eyes widened; his lips parted just a smidge. Lately, he had noticed that his heart would skip a beat and/or speed up whenever Sumin was this close to him. His cheeks warmed up as a light reddish color appeared.

He glanced at her eyes before quickly averting them. He turned his body slightly, not wanting Sumin to see his blush.

It sucked falling in love with your best friend and feeling unsure if she’d return his feelings or not.

Yet… Little did he know. Little did he know…

Heavy pants filled the room. Their courageous stares never faltered. Their chests touched each other as Sumin and Seokjin couldn’t help but wonder…

What on Earth did they feel? What caused them to argue for an entire hour? It was if someone had possessed their bodies and unleased a month of pent up frustrations towards each other.

Feeling a bit unsure, Seokjin took a step back, creating some space between them, however, it involved a bit more mental strength on his end. For some reason, he didn’t want to be away from Sumin. He didn’t want that space between them.

Seokjin mentally slapped himself and quickly blamed on being sexually frustrated. It had been quite some time since he last had sex with a female, so it made sense. No way he felt any sort of attraction towards the princess. No way. Hell would have to freeze over in order for that to happen.

While with Sumin, on the outside, she was indifferent, but on the inside, she freaked the fuck out. Her eyes glanced at his plump lips for a millisecond before she averted them. She observed how prominent his jawline was, and how noticeable his Adam’s apple was.

Her heart pounded against her chest. If Seokjin had some sort of super hearing, she could’ve sworn that he’d hear it. Her cheeks were flushed as if she stood out in the blazing heat, and her lips were slightly agape. What was wrong with her? Any form of an infatuation had been longed gone the moment Seokjin said those hurtful, deceitful things about her. She had nothing but borderline hatred for him, yet she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him.

Okay…she had to have a one-on-one session with her personal assistant at their favorite go-to coffee shop. This was not okay!

Before Sumin could fully dive into her mental rants, she stopped herself. Whenever she ranted about everything and anything, besides pacing back and forth, Sumin tend to look pretty much everywhere in the room she was in.

Lucky her, her brain finally registered a familiar painting that hung up in the corner of his office. She squinted her eyes, hoping to gain a better look of the face. Then, seconds later, her eyes widened.

A tiny gasp escaped her lips as she instantly recognized that Seokjin’s ancestor. She had noticed a familiar hilt that she only ever knew one person who that specific design. Kim Seokjin I.

She had seen detailed paintings and drawings that her ancestor, Sumin I, had done in her journals.

Oh, my goodness…

She had to have it now. Sumin knew of the demise of their romance because of what King Ji Yong had done, so she wanted Sumin I’s portrait to be next to Seokjin I’s at least. Even though they weren’t together when they were alive, their paintings would be.

With a firm nod, Sumin turned to face Seokjin, who in return raised his brow, finding her actions odd.

         “Where did you get that painting?” asked Sumin, trying to keep her face neutral as possible.

Seokjin scoffed softly, “Why do you want to know?”

         “Just answer me, you annoying prick.” Sumin replied with an annoyed expression.

         “Wow. Who would of thought that the princess knew such foul language?” Seokjin faked a shocked expression, “But, if you must know, it’s a family tradition of mine that the men pass down the portrait of the man who ended that horrific war that took place during Princess Sumin I’s time. My grandpa passed it down to my father who then passed it down to me. I hope to pass it down to my son someday.” He explained; hints of admiration laced his words.

What his ancestor had done would forever be something he would strive for. Seokjin II would forever strive to do something that would leave a huge impact on his family.

Sumin nodded slowly before taking one final look at the portrait.

         “Excuse me. I apologize for wasting your time. It was a mistake to come here, and I will take my leave now.” She suddenly announced, hurrying out of the office.

Seokjin watched her fleeing body with curiosity. He became incredibly confused as to why the stubborn princess suddenly ran away after he explained how he got the painting.

         “What a strange woman…” He thought with an amused yet faint smile.

Minutes later, he snapped back to reality and walked back to his desk. As he picked up the documents, he carelessly tossed onto his desk, and tried to focus on preparing for his meeting. The meeting that he had been over a few hours late. Thankfully, his meetings would never officially commence until he instructed his receptionist an official notice.

His eyes scanned the same line over and over. Why was his mind in jumbles still?

More importantly…

Why did his heart suddenly feel off? Like it felt empty the moment Sumin rushed out. It was if his mind was longing for her presence again.

Seokjin shook that thought away instantly and went back to work.

Yet the image of her beautiful face would forever be etched in his mind.

         “What an interesting day, Kim Seokjin…what an interesting day…”

A/N: I swear. . . I would slap Seokjin and drop him after the idiotic stunts he has pulled with Sumin. Though... I think they are making some progress! Also, do you love the little Fight for Me related flashback? I’m going to be doing those types of flashbacks here and there in this series! Think of them as never before seen scenes! They’ll give you a better historic insight on Seokjin’s and Sumin’s Fight for Me counterparts! What do you guys think? Let me know!

Don’t forget to leave a like/reblog/comment/ask in my inbox! I love hearing your thoughts! :)

- Kim

[rapunzel-withthegoodhair]

City & Ghost

pairing: shawn mendes x ofc (narrated second person, reader) summary: maybe he shouldn’t call you. but maybe you shouldn’t pick up.  playlist: listen while reading rating: pg-13 (alcohol abuse, swearing, infidelity, older female/younger male, etc)  word count: 5639 status: complete / one-shot

author’s notes: just for clarification, my ofc is 27 in this story to shawn’s 20. not an impossibly crazy difference but enough to throw some hurdles in (especially since she’s married). click the ofc link for more info about Holland :) 

I look in the mirror past the buildings, The sky’s getting light Another piece of my innocence Is the admission I paid there tonight Though it makes me sick, and I imagine her saying “You’re better than this…”

                                                        ///

Nine minutes after midnight and your phone nearly vibrates right off the kitchen counter.

He’s got his own ringtone so you know when it’s safe to answer. The rational part of your brain says, ‘Damn girl just block his number. Have some mercy on the boy. Let him move on. Force him to move on.’ Only one problem with that…you’re weak for him too.

It doesn’t matter tonight though. Alec is in San Diego and the only person you’re cleaning up after is yourself.

“Hey…” It’s all you can think of to say. Maybe you should applaud him for the whole month he took this time in between calls. Maybe you would, if it hadn’t been excruciating. If your stomach wasn’t doing swimmer’s backflips over having him reach out for you again.

“I miss you.” You know immediately that he’s wasted out of his mind. ‘Isn’t he always?’ Your mind echos back. It’s an unfair statement, because he’s only 20 and he’s on tour and why would he call you sober. But lately it’s a little too true.

“I miss you too, baby boy…” God, you wish the words were a lie, dripping from your lips only for his sake. But they’re not. There’s a rusty metal ache in your skin that’s almost too much at times. Like a hangover no pill will fix. “Yeah?” Doubt is strung up in his voice like christmas lights. It’s been so long, he doesn’t believe you. Not anymore. It’s like a knife slashed across your ribs to hear him hurt, knowing you’re the reason why. “What do you miss?”

Your teeth tug at your lip. You should not be having this conversation. You should not be lighting that flame in his heart again. But fuck, it’s such a relief to confess the words to someone. Anyone. Even if it’s just him.

“I miss…waking up at four am to you playing piano.” That morning comes back to you with stunning clarity. He’d tried so hard to be quiet, but his inspiration had been a hungry mistress,  sinking her teeth too deeply into that beautiful skin to be ignored. You’d never been able to find any anger or annoyance in your heart over it though, despite the sleep lost.

                                                       ///

You thought Alec’s snoring was annoying. But apparently, Shawn just doesn’t sleep at all.

It’s a little worrisome. Friday night, the non-profit you work for had hosted a charity Gala. Not only had Shawn played at the event, but the next day he’d shown up at the high-profile, private meet and greet that had been offered as an incentive for ‘diamond tier’ donors, (so they could bring their rich little brats to ooh and ahh over him as well). And later that evening he’s scheduled to play Allstate Stadium. He needs to rest. But for the second night in a row, you’re waking up to piano notes being plucked from the stars while Chicago still sleeps.

You barely know him. Only met him at the Gala. But you don’t know how to cut him loose and your husband is in Houston; won’t be home until Monday night.

You’re madly in love with Alec. Never would’ve married him if it weren’t true (not that the money hurts…). Loyalty has never been a question in the past. Just the thought of another man touching you has always turned your stomach. But…Shawn needs you. And maybe you need him too. Not because anything has been missing. But because your light refuses to turn away from his. It’s instinctual. Something beyond choice or reason.

Leaning in the corridor entryway, you watch his body shift along to the music he’s creating. His strong shoulders beat out a rhythm in lieu of drums. He’s singing so softly and you can tell it’s tearing him apart just a little. To try and keep the beast of raw creativity that beats inside him on a leash.

And I won’t be a product of my genre My mind will always be stronger than my songs are Never believe the bullshit that fake guys feed to ya Always read the stories that you hear on Wikipedia And musically I’m demonstrating When I perform live, feels like I am meditating

Wandering across the living room, you can’t help the smile tugging at your mouth. He’s so fucking beautiful. And it’s not his pale, milky skin. Or his adorable curls. Or even those sexy brown eyes. It’s not his tight abs or his thick arms or his strong back. It’s the light that pours out of him, like a cup running over. The passion for music and life rattling through him like a wooden-track roller coaster. The raw, unbroken way he still looks at the world and smiles. Still feels hope. Still wants more. You’re not sure when you lost that light…but at twenty-six years old, you’re already terrified it might never come back. Maybe it’s that fear that makes it feel as if…walking away from him would be the end of you. Because this is the most alive you’ve felt in years.

You watch him and you wonder, ‘is this how Hades felt when he first saw Persephone…?’

Arms sliding over his shoulders and around his neck, you lean to kiss along his jaw and cheek. Grin when you feel his own smile, almost too wide for his pretty face, matching yours. Despite his happiness at your touch, you feel his muscles tense. He’s so used to being told who to be. Where to stand. What words to say. Which camera to smile into. He’s already bracing himself for the inevitable. Already waiting for you to tell him to keep it down. To go back to sleep.

“Sing it louder, baby.” You whisper into his ear, still smiling hard as your arm stays draped across his chest. “We own the whole floor. Ain’t nobody gunna hear you but me.” You rarely let anyone hear your Kentucky accent. No one is supposed to know your tragic backstory. Not here in the city. Least of all, what’s sure to be a weekend fling with some teen heartthrob superstar you’ll never see again. But you can’t seem to help it. Around him, the refined lady you’ve worked so hard to become slides instinctively back into the Harlan County wildflower you grew up as.

His smile grows until his eyes nearly disappear and the boy leans to steal a soft kiss.

“You sure? S’four in the morning.” His chuckle is low in his chest as he nuzzles at your soft skin. Like a puppy reassuring himself is pack is still there. “Don’t wanna annoy you ‘n get kicked out.”

Shaking your head slowly, your hands gently tip his head back. Dust a kiss to his nose, then in between his eyes. Something about the way he relaxes so completely in your arms, his features euphorically neutral as if he’s just spent a day at the spa, making you feel as if you hung the damn sun in the sky.

“Wanna hear you fuck that shit up.” You flash him a wide smile that he returns without hesitation. Scritching at his hair playfully, you head to the kitchen. He’s been in your line of vision for nearly 48 hours and you’ve hardly seen him eat a thing. But not here, not on your watch. “I’ll make you some breakfast.”

I’m still the same as a year ago But more people hear me though According to the myspace and youtube videos I’m always doing shows, if I’m not I’m in the studio Truly broke, never growing up call me Ruffio Melody music maker Reading all the papers They say I’m up and coming like I’m fucking in an elevator ‘Cause you need me, man, I don’t need you

The Ed Sheeran song sounds good like this. Slowed down and smokey wrapped up in his tired voice. The lyrics are cocky but his passion is too damn infectious, his talent too explosive, for it to come off as anything other than fun (besides, you think to yourself, what’s wrong with a little confidence if you can walk your talk?). Brewing a strong pot of coffee to share, you’d made a whole pan of  scrambled eggs with bacon. Watched him play until the sun was peeking out over Chicago’s skyline to greet you. Then cuddled on the couch as you fed him. Until his fatigue finally started winning rounds. He’d fallen asleep on top of you, his ribs on your stomach as your hand caressed up and down along his spine. Humming softly in his ear, your eyes drifted back to the piano.  

You’d never cared about that stupid grand, had been annoyed at Alec just for buying the overpriced centerpiece to your penthouse living room when neither of knew how to play. It had sat there, doing nothing but collecting dust and looking pretentious. Until it came to life under Shawn’s fingers. Just like you…                                                       ///

“Hmm…wrote a good song on that beauty.” You can’t help but smile at the sound of his own smirk. Every atom in your body had screamed at you not to listen when his new album had dropped. But you had anyway. And your heart had slammed into your chest when you’d heard the chords he’d composed hidden behind your walls first.

“Yeah, you did… proud’a you, you know.”

A long pause follows and you think you hear him swallow. Maybe he doesn’t know…

“Say it again?”

Eyes falling closed, a quiver shakes your bottom lip as you fight the tears. God, he sounds so broken. Over the past year, you’ve spent…maybe nineteen or twenty days together in total. Every time you tell yourself it’s the last time. But then he calls… and you love Alec so fucking much… but…

“I’m so fucking proud of you, baby. I mean it. There’s too much damn talent burnin’ through you. Watching you perform is like… watching a meteor shower.”

Quiet again. But this time the background clinking of glass on glass seems to suggest he’s doing his best to fight off the creeping edges of sobriety. You can just picture him in the dark of his hotel suite, curtains drawn so he can see the city lights. Still wearing whatever he went out in after his show. Hands shaking as he pours himself another round from the mini bar.    

“If you went out onto the roof right now…could you see the stars?” Lord, he’s so drunk. He grew up near enough to a city. He should remember damn well you can’t see the stars uptown.

Leaning over a bit to scratch your leg, you chew at your lip. You know where he’s going with this. You’re still pathetic enough to want to fall down the rabbit hole.

“Probably not. City’s the same as it ever was…”  

“Oh…yeah.” Disappointment drags his voice down into the gutter. “Would you go out anyway? We could just… be under the same sky?”

You’re not sure that’s how it works. According to the pictures on Instagram, he’s in Miami. You’re in the Midwest. Technically, you’d be staring out at two different expanses of space. But you’d do anything for him. And the lie sounds so sweet.

“Course, baby. Always.” Standing, you move to grab a sweater and some shoes. Then cross the room to the penthouse elevator that leads to the roof. That’s yours as well and you’d been in charge of its renovation when Alec bought the place. A small garden sits up there, along with a modest pool and stone fire pit. The accent features play host to the ghosts you try not to look in the eye. But walking outside invites them in like a séance.

                                                      ///

Your hand is in his dragging him up the stairs. Sure you could take the penthouse elevator, but racing down the hall and then up the maintenance stairwell is more fun. The door bursts open and the wind blows you around a bit, your own inertia sending you both spinning until you nearly fall over.

“And this! Is my pride ‘n joy. I designed all this. The garden ‘n the pool. Firepit.” He stands behind you, arms around your shoulders, kissing your cheek as you point out each feature. In the distance, Lake Michigan glints under a breathlessly breezy summer day.

You had planned out the roof carefully. Each feature exists in its own space and yet in harmony with the others. You enjoy showing the place off. All your friends have sexy, sleek uptown apartments. None of them have anything this unique. This tangible and sensory driven. Every new set of eyes laid on the place always mindlessly ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s over the space. If they’re feeling extra obnoxious, they might throw out a few technical design terms they picked up from HGTV. You expect Shawn to do the same.

But somehow, he sees the puzzle. Puts the pieces together quicker than anyone else.

“Earth, water, fire… I guess Lake Michigan takes care of the wind.”

“Clever boy.”  Impressed, you match his smile and slowly nod. Absently, your fingers toy with his much longer ones and your head rests back against his chest as both of you take in the city. “I guess those things have always felt the most real to me. The five elements.”

“Five?”

“Mm,” You tug on your lip, trying to remember how elegantly your grandmother had explained it. “Element of spirit. None of it means anything if it’s not alive. It’s the energy we borrow from the universe that allows any of the elements to connect. To borrow from one another. Feed one another. Find one another. Love one another.”

“So…up here….you’re the spirit element?”

Your head quirks and you turn in his arms. Quiet surprise hangs in the air between you for a long string of moments…before your arms finally curl around him. Tilting your head back, you scritch your nails lightly, affectionately across his back. A smile slowly pulls at your lips.

“How’d you figure that out, pretty boy?” It’s overwhelming enough that he’s so beautiful. So full of life. Bursting at the seams with talent and passion. Confusingly good. And so disarmingly vulnerable. The fact that he also understands you effortlessly is near impossible to wrap your head around.

A shrug falls from his broad shoulders and he nuzzles at your nose. He has the best view in Chicago to feast on, but his focus is locked on you. Fingertips brushing down your cheek, they slide up into your hair. In an attempt to curb the game of twister Chicago’s wind is playing with it, his fingers curl around the long strands gently, then fist just enough to clasp it all in place. You’re forced to stand closer to him as a side effect, but you’ve suffered far worse.

“That’s so beautiful. That you refuse to let the city take that away from you.” It’s the first time anyone has seen through your ‘perfectly manicured uptown midwestern wife’ charade. The first time anyone’s suspected that maybe there’s still some part of you bucking against the saddle. Alec has always taken care of you. But Shawn is in your blood, undressing your soul instead of just your body.

Reaching up to grip his neck, you pull him down into a warm, deep kiss. Push open his hoodie and rest your body against his. How the hell he’d sorted the secret language of you was still a mystery. But that was the moment you knew you loved him.

                                                      ///

“You know I’m gunna be in Chicago next week…” “Are you?” The sirens go off in your brain as you lean against the cement edge of your rooftop. ‘Absolutely not. You need to leave him alone.’ This isn’t even about staying loyal to Alec. Shawn deserves everything you can’t give him. Deserves a girl his own age. Someone who is available to anoint him in love every minute of every day like it’s holy oil and she’s his priestess. Keeping him stitched into your bone marrow is thievery. You’re stealing time he should be spending happy, with some pretty young thing as full to bursting with energy as he is.

“You still in the city?” “Yes, love. I’m right here, hmm? Same place you left me.” You feel like an undergrad at Northwestern all over again, listening to your drunk friends ramble in nonsensical circles as they stumble back towards sobriety.

“Didn’t leave you…” He’s pouting like a puppy, but your voice stays even and gentle. Patient as ever. Maybe the one advantage your age gives you with him is maturity. What might stir up a fight with a hormonal teenager, is just another chance to soothe him for you.

“You know that’s not what I meant, sweet boy. I know you’d never leave me. Not… not really.” What the fuck is wrong with you? How long is it going to be until this story shows up in the headlines. Before everyone else sees just how sick and cruel and pathetic you really are.

“I wanna see you. Tell me I can see you.” You hear a sliding glass door open and wind hits the receiver in small gusts. He’s always been a sucker for a balcony. You’re fairly certain he can’t see the stars either, but you’re almost certain you hear ocean waves in the distance. 

“Baby…” One little word. You don’t mean for it to sound so loaded.

“You don’t want to? …Say it out loud then. Tell me you don’t want to see me and I’ll leave you alone.” There goes that pride again, trying to eat him whole from the inside out. He’s the sweetest boy in the world. But every now and then, when he’s stressed and lonely and drunk, his insecurities swim in his blood like piranhas.

Slowly, you drag in a breath. He can’t possibly understand all the ways this is wrong. On fire with his own youth, he knows nothing but chasing desire. Burning regret to the ground as if feeling alive is his only religion.

“S’nothing to do with want, baby. Always want you.”

It takes a few moments of silence but he finally circles back. The edge has left his voice (he’s never known how to be an asshole for more than 10 seconds at a time) but he’s still stubborn as always.

“I know it’s not Alec. I know you don’t love him more.”

“But I do love him.”

“Not enough to quit me.”

His words are a slap to the face and sting just the same. Swallowing, you fight all the instincts you learned from your mother. Lashing out (Oh, grow up and make your own mind up then. You’re twenty not five). Deflecting (you’re the one who called me). Jabbing at weak spots he was vulnerable enough only with you to show (aren’t there a million other girls who’d come clean you up right now? Or boys?). As guilty as the age difference makes you feel… you’re thankful you didn’t meet him when you were twenty. What a disgustingly toxic mess that would’ve been.

Dragging in a deep breath, you rub at your temple. Remind yourself he doesn’t mean it as harsh as it sounds. That he’s just hurt and wasted and trying to prove a point.

“You gunna hold it against me that I’m weak for you too?” You hope he can hear the slight pout in your sad, soft voice. He must, because you can feel the sobriety sweep over him for a moment. Like heavy rain sweeping down into a valley.

“Then what the hell is it Holland?” The sigh falls off his lips more tired, more defeated than angry.

Sometimes, if you drink a little too much wine and think about it a little too long, this shit with him still breaks you down into tears. Sometimes you don’t know why. Your own husband has a whole decade on you. So why is Shawn’s seven years younger always giving you so much grief?

“I have no right to love you…”

“…I don’t understand what that means. Please don’t be self-righteous right now. You don’t… you don’t understand how hard this is without you. You have no idea how fucking… messed up I feel all the time.”

But you do. It’s how you two met.

                                                      ///

Each long evening gown that walks into the charity gala sparkles like a disco ball. The kitchen is buzzing with the refilling of trays and the fizzing of champagne. The donations are pouring in so fast, the attendants can hardly keep up with receipts. And, as usual, you are the spinning wheel of fortunes at the center keeping it all perfectly on track. St. Christopher’s is the largest non-profit foundation in the Midwest. Over the past six years, you’ve diligently worked your way up from undergrad intern to the Publicity Chair’s Executive Assistant. It doesn’t sound exciting but in the heart of a city as busy as yours, you’re essentially party planning for the elite. And honestly…it’s everything you ever wanted. Hell, this whole pop star performing at the Gala thing was your idea. Browsing the Allstate Arena’s schedule last year had led you to Shawn Mendes. Not for any particular reason other than the dates matched up nicely. He’d be in town for a show anyway and likely had the star power to generate enough interest. So you reached out.

Well, not to Shawn personally. Just his PR manager. But still, he’d agreed happily to stop by and you couldn’t be happier with how well he was working the crowd now. Taking pictures, signing autographs, navigating overpersonal questions with an impressively charming diplomacy. If he wasn’t already wildly successful at music, you’d have offered him a job on your team.

Dinner is served right on time, but neither you nor the night’s golden boy get to sit down or eat. You’re checking that dessert is being plated up in the kitchen and that trash is being rotated out fast enough. He’s up on stage, performing a few of his latest hits with his band. You’ve never heard his music before. Pop kind of isn’t your thing. The bluesy rock/folk you listen to is perhaps one of the last remaining hints that could give away your true roots as the granddaughter of a Kentucky coal miner.   

Aren’t you shocked when you march out of the kitchen, only to find him spilling his guts up on stage. A guitar crying in his hands, a microphone his voice is all but making love to. No pop in sight. Your steps slow to a dead stop. The guitar in his hands bleeds out a euphoric set of chords that break open your ribs and pool in your chest.

Nothing physically has changed. He’s still the same, tall dark and handsome kid that walked in two hours ago. No, the change is all you. You’ve woken up. You can see his cracks and all the light pouring out of them. As if he’s holding a nursery of stars inside his chest and their fire is barely contained.  

The powerhouse performance disarms your heart, shatters it into a million little pieces. But looking around, you can see… it’s not going over quite so well on the rich upper class of Chicago. This just isn’t their style. Most of them really only came for the signed photos they plan on giving to their spoiled ass children. And he’s used to working a crowd of teenage girls who hang on his every word. You can see his confidence faltering a bit. Hear his voice backing off from attempting to hit the harder notes. By the time the two-song set ends, he barely gets out a slightly shaky ‘thank you’ to respectful applause before he’s nearly bolted off the stage.

Maybe it’s a dumb idea to walk backstage right now. To check the kitchen and then the green room and then the men’s bathroom. You’re not meant to chase the deer once it runs from the headlights. And this isn’t just a party. You’re at work.

The excuses go on and on in your head. Rationalizing. Criticizing. But your steps continue down the hotel hallway once they’ve cleared the grand ballroom. There’s only so many rooms he could’ve ducked into and most of them are locked, with signs reading ‘employees only’. Your golden, satin ballgown billows behind you as you chase his trail. You couldn’t possibly have lost him. What’d he do? Book a room upstairs and check-in before you’d even gone searching?

Finally, you reach the entrance to the hotel pool. The gym. He’s not in any of those and this is where the hallway ends…What the hell? Head foggy with confusion and stomach turning with worry, you slowly circle back. You checked every single open door, didn’t you?

Suddenly, your adrenaline sharpened focus snags on a door you hadn’t noticed before. The family bathroom closer to the lobby. It’s nearly 10pm. No one will need to use this right now. You gotta hand it to him. Kid’s a genius.   

You find him sitting on the floor, shaking and sweating. Flushed and barely breathing. The sight of you seems to only make it worse and for a moment he tries hard to scramble up on his feet.

“I’m…I’m sorry, I’ll…I’ll be right…right out…” God, he must think you’re here to drag him back. Seeing how unsteady his long legs are, you reach out and grip his arms.

“Hey…” Voice soft, you fight hard to regain your balance in your heels as his weight leans into you. Left without a choice, you slowly help him back to the floor. But this time, you ensure he’s sitting against the wall.

You suffered terrible bouts of anxiety before Alec. Therapy had never worked. The pills made you feel like a walking corpse. Your husband is the only thing that had truly gotten you through. It’s one of the things any marine learns. How to deal with stress at the most inconvenient times. How to pull someone out of their own head in seconds flat. Watching Shawn break down like this, it’s like holding yourself seven years ago and all you can think is that you want to be his Alec. Biting back tears, you fight to be strong for him as you pull one shaking, pale hand up to face your own.

“Can you name your fingers as I touch them?” His eyes fall from yours, the adam’s apple in his throat bobbing as he swallows hard. He doesn’t know you. Not really. And you can see it in his eyes. The same doubt there was any hope you could truly handle this that you’d always felt. He’s honestly just hoping you’ll hurry up and get frustrated sooner rather than later. To just leave already so he can pick up these pieces on his own and not under the watchful eye of an older woman whose job is counting on him getting his shit back together. Very gently tipping his chin up so his eyes are forced back to yours, you touch your thumb to his own. “You know that, hmm? What’s the name of that finger?”

Your voice stays soft. Even and cool. Encouraging. The same river-bed voice your grandmother had used to comfort you before she’d died. Before you’d been left to fend for yourself against a manic-depressive, Oxy dependent mother. In all honesty, you’re a bit surprised. It’s been so long since your grandmother died and you had no idea you’d picked up the ability before now.

Slowly getting the breath back in his lungs, Shawn’s eyes find your hand and his. Seems to realize for the first time that he’s touching you.

“…Thumb…”  

A smile tugs at your mouth and you cup his cheek.

“Good. That’s so good.” Your pointer fingertip touches his own. “And this one?”

“P-pointer…” You nod and he follows each careful touch with a soft murmur. “Ring …index …p-pinky.”

Finding yourself proud of the boy, you flash him a smile. Lean to brush a kiss to his sweating temple. You can’t help but notice that his pupils, blown out a moment earlier, seem to be shrinking again. A good sign that he’s calming.

“That’s really good, love.” Shifting to sit down properly, you twine your fingers through his, hoping to give him an anchor.  “Can you tell me the color of my dress?”

He glances over. Swallows again. This one takes a little longer as his eyes trace the lines of the dress. He’s not stuck on the color. You can tell. He’s just trying to swim through a head flooded with adrenaline.

“Gold?”

“Mmhmm.” Squeezing his hand, you nod. “Close your eyes, sweetheart. Count three things you can hear.”

Resting his head back against the cool tile, he does as he’s told. Squeezes your hand after a moment to make sure you’re still there. Then finally focuses.

“H-hum of the AC…running water in the next bathroom…Phil Collins.” You both laugh softly at that. He’s not wrong. The hotel’s lobby loudspeaker system seems to reach even in here and you notice the song too now he’s said it.

Resting your own head back against the tile as well, you sing along softly under your breath. It’s not long before he’s doing the same, the distraction seeming to help.

You can tell from the lines on her face You can see that she’s been there Probably been moved on from every place Cause she didn’t fit in there Oh, think twice, 'cause another day For you and me in paradise

Turning to glance at him, you realize then there’s no getting him back into that ballroom. And honestly, you wouldn’t even want to. A switch in you has flipped. Work can wait. The influential elite of the city you’re trying to conquer can go fuck themselves. Nothing matters more to you right now than looking after him. You couldn’t explain where the all-consuming black hole came from. Or how it suddenly ripped open inside of you. It’s just there, undeniable and inescapable.

“Do you have anywhere you need to be, love?”

He shakes his head. Yawns and scoots closer. Suddenly, you wish he wasn’t so much bigger than yourself. Wish he was just the scared four-year old he looks like right now and you could scoop him up and wrap him in a blanket.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” You realize how it sounds the moment it jumps out of your lips. You’re sure a hundred girls must proposition him every day. Scared to freak him out further, you squeeze his hand and slowly help tug him up. “Just…you know, some food. A guest bed. Maybe just a few hours away from being ‘Shawn Mendes’?”

He gets through an eager nod and you help him over to the sink.   

“Mmk, why don’t you wash some cold water over your face, love? I’ll grab my things ‘n meet you in the back lot.”

It’s only as you’re turning to go that he works up any words.

“Holland? I…Thank you…” Leaning against the sink, his sweaty curls fall into his eyes. Slowly, he’s starting to look less like a lost child and more like himself again.

“You’re welcome, honey.” Your smile is soft, but full of warmth. You know exactly what he just went through. And to know you helped him pull out of that collapsing star makes you feel like the hero in a fairytale. The storybook princess who just saved the prince. “I’ll be right back for you.”

“I’ll be waiting.”   

///

“I know, baby…I know that…” Swallowing, you push away from the cement barrier of the rooftop. Rub at your forehead a bit as your manicured feet pace tiredly across the cement floor. “I’m sorry. I never meant to be vague or cryptic. I just meant…I can’t leave him for you. I can’t be what you need. I’m not good for you.”

“That’s not up to you.” He insists stubbornly.

“But it is. I’m seven years older than you, Shawn. It’s on me to make that call.”

“That is such bullshit, and you know it. I’ve been fucking…forced to grow up way faster than anyone else I know from the moment I stepped into Hollywood. I’ve been making more money than my parents since I was sixteen. I’ve been on tour since I was seventeen. And I haven’t stopped. I always fucking show up. Even when I feel like I’m walking around in a fucking corpse. I always do what has to be done. I always will. Do not tell me I don’t understand what I’m saying. My body is twenty years old. I’m not.”

Silence follows as his words sink like stones in the river of your bloodstream. You can’t argue with him there. It’s not fair for him to be forced into the responsibilities of an adult, only then to be treated like a child.

And the truth is… either way, you haven’t quite figured out how to truly deny him anyway.

“Text me the details of where you’ll be staying when you get here, yeah? I’ll…sort an excuse.”

“Well, you better pack a pretty big bag. ‘Cause once I have you, I’m not letting you go again.”

Shaking your head a how drunk he is, you laugh softly.

“Baby, please get some sleep, hmm? For me?”

“Mm mm. Stay on the phooone.”

God damnit. That pouty little baby voice is always so unfair. Sighing heavily, you consider threatening him playfully. Teasing that you’ll fly with Alec to New York next week if he doesn’t take care of himself. But that means you’d actually have to hang up.

“If I stay on the phone, you have to drink some water. And lay down. Promise?”

“…You’re really gunna let me see you next week?”

“Course, honey. Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

Yawning deeply, you can all but hear him nod as his voice finally gives in to his body’s exhaustion. The wind interference clears as he heads back into his suite. A sigh of relief loosens from your chest. You’re never crazy about him being outside and up that high when he’s so drunk. 

“Mmk…water ‘n down.”

“Good, baby. That’s good… I love you, hmm?” Switching on your rooftop firepit, you slouch down into the armchair that gives you the best view of Lake Michigan in the moonlight. You’ll stay up as long he needs you to. Even if that’s sunrise. 

“I love you too, Holls… only you.”

[ddmckenziee-blog]

A Lettet to My Future Soulmate

Dear My Future Soulmate,

As I’m sitting here writing this letter, I want you to know that I’m pinning my hopes on a day I’ll finally get to see you in person. Thinking of that, I’m ecstatic already. I hope one day you’ll get the chance to read this letter, and wonder where I have been all your life. I’m sure I’ll be wonderstruck, too. But for now, I hope life treats you well, and I hope you’re satisfied with everything you have. We might not have crossed each other’s path yet, and that’s okay. I still believe that no matter who you are, or where you are at, fate will eventually bind us together, and it’ll all be nothing but joy and bliss.

I might sound desperate, but I cannot wait until the day you show up with true romance and love I had yet to receive from the people I dated. I cannot wait to get to know who you really are and love everything that you’ve got. I hope you won’t be hesitant to open up your heart to me and feel a tug on your heartstrings. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, but then again, neither do I. I can’t promise you that it’ll be perfect, but I’m certain we’ll be awesome together.

I have to warn you, though. I’m a complicated person, and sometimes it’s quite intricate to handle me. I definitely am not a morning person, and I don’t always make my bed. I can’t cook, so I hope you won’t make a fuss about it. I can be sensitive and impatient when things don’t go my way, and I hope you will always be there to cheer me up and lend me a shoulder to lie on. I crave moments of tranquility and alone time; it’s not that I’m anti-social or anything, but I normally prefer to keep things to myself. In spite of all the things I’ve just mentioned, I hope you’ll put up with them. I hope you’ll find my quirks and flaws endearing so I won’t be reluctant to treat you right and show the world that I’m truly, madly, deeply in love with you.

Though I know that finding you would be as hard as finding a diamond in the rough, I still believe someday you and I will find ourselves in love at the most unexpected time. I hope it’ll be love at first sight so I can feel butterflies flapping their wings in my stomach again. Isn’t it insane to have faith in something as unforeseeable as that? To actually believe that there’s someone out there who’s already made for me? I don’t know what the future holds, but I hope we can find each other soon enough so I wouldn’t have to waste my time and attention with anyone else who barely puts any effort nor sees a future with me.

Broken and bruised, I’ve been through a lot, and I bet you have too. I can only imagine how torn you are to get your heart crushed by whoever who you are with at the moment. I’m so sorry this has to happen, but I hope you’ll learn how to let go of it in hopes of finding me. There are various barriers in life we will face without each other, but I believe they will teach us to love stronger and harder when we collide.

Keep holding on, and wait for me, okay? We will meet when our time comes.

Yours faithfully,

Your Future Soulmate

[reifromrfa]

RFA + Minor Trio find out MC is a Ghost

Hey guys! Here’s the last Halloween hc for this year, written by the awesome @rainydayswriter and yours truly ^^ We hope you guys had lots of spooks today or will have lots of spooks, depending on where you are! We hope you enjoy this despite the heavy angst ugh i’m so sorry guys that was my fault ;;; thank you so much to @rainydayswriter for injecting some happiness into these and have a Happy Halloween!

Warning: Angst ahead ;A; 

“You’re gonna suffer, but you’ll be happy about it.” -Ron Weasley

Yoosung

“I think my dorm is haunted.”

Everyday he logs into the chatroom to tell everyone the weird things that are happening around his dorm room

Lights flickering on and off

The chair scraping against the floor as it moves on its own

“Seven I’m telling you!!! My guild members all told me that they can hear a girl laughing whenever my mic is on!!!”

Will probably sleep at another member’s house for a while ;;;

And when he returns he’ll see you typing scary messages on his computer

Let’s face it, there’ll be a lot of screaming and tears from Yoosung

But when he calms down you two start talking and he finds out you're not such a bad person ghost after all

“Did you have to scare me that much, MC? I was terrified you know!” ;;;; poor kid ;;;

Spends his days playing LOLOL, going to school and hanging out with you most of the time

And it was great at first because for the first time, he got to play pranks on other people

You told him the answers for his tests it wasn’t cheating okay, you just told him enough so he could pass ;;;

You guys have so much fun together that you find yourself more and more attracted to him

But you realize he’s spending waaaay too much time with you instead of his friends

Instead of real people

He doesn’t even log in to the RFA chatroom anymore

And you tell him to live his life and just forget about you but he confesses his feelings for you and why is the world so unfair and cruel to him?

First Rika, now you? He’s so deeply and madly in love with you and he doesn’t know what to do okay

You guys cry together for the rest of the night

And you realize...he has to let you go

It will be painful --you would say goodbye but he’d beg you not to leave him

There will be a lot of tears and begging and arguing but in the end, you make him understand that you’re already gone, that he can never have a future with you

And he’s such a bright kid with so much potential

So you leave

Yoosung will be a zombie for months --all the RFA members try to help him but they can’t bring you back anymore

He starts recovering after a while, thinking you’ve gone to a better place and his grades start to improve

When he graduates he’s surrounded by the RFA members and his friends

He’s so happy that doesn’t notice you watching him with a smile on your face and tears in your eyes

Zen

How can a ghost look so breathtaking?

When he first found out you were a ghost, he couldn’t believe it because aren’t ghosts supposed to look scary and bloody? ;;;

He’s surprised that he could touch you but he’s relieved that he can

Fans and paparazzi would go INSANE trying to figure out who Zen’s girlfriend is

You guys will just laugh it off and you’d even scare some of the paparazzi stalking Zen

Date nights are something else

“One ticket, sir?”

And he would almost argue that the guy was being rude because the most beautiful woman on the planet was beside him

But then, nobody else can see you, can they?

He’ll hold his tongue and pretend everything's okay

But you see the weight it puts on his shoulders, and you’re so grateful to him for accepting you as is (ie. dead)

You always have the best seat in the house during his performances (aka hovering above the crowd lol)

But whenever you see women looking at him and Zen ignoring everyone, you start to feel guilty

Because those women were all alive and you weren’t; you may love each other, but your love can only go so far

And day by day you feel worse seeing Zen fawn over you when you can never give him a child who would inherit his good looks

So you sit down with him one night and discuss it with him but he immediately stops you

“MC, for a long time I’ve been in relationships where they just wanted me for my fame and my good looks. You’re the first person I’ve met who loves me for me. I want to spend my life with you. Someday, we’ll be together, my princess. Please stay with me until then.”

You agree to stay and you guys are happy for quite sometime but you still can’t shake the feeling that you’re holding him back

“Hyun...I need to go.”

“Go? Go where? Let me grab my ja--”

“No, Hyun. You can’t come with me.”

Dread and fear fills him

And you’re both crying because you both love each other and he doesn’t want you to go

But in the end, he makes you a promise

“My princess, I can’t stop you from leaving...but please wait for me. I will surely find my way back to you again.”

And after a successful career and a long and fruitful life, you’re there waiting for him with a smile

Jaehee

She only saw you when it was absolutely pouring, at the back of the coffee shop on her way to or from the office

You quickly became her confidante, someone she could rage to about her boss or gush about Zen’s work

It became a routine, since you were always at the same place at the same time

You don’t talk much about yourself, but she takes note of every little detail you give

And soon it all kind of adds up

There was an accident not too far from the shop, with one single fatality, someone at the wrong place at the wrong time

And her heart just;;;;

Breaks

She wants to help you, because you’ve been such a comfort to her, but she doesn’t know how

But you tell her that just spending time with her is more than enough

Her heart is bursting with tears

Spirits are usually caused by lingering regrets or emotions right?

Jaehee suggests leaving the coffee shop one evening, taking a walk

Cautiously, you accept, letting her lead you around at first before you take over, pointing out places you frequented when you lived, where you had worked, your favorite store, the people you had met, the plans you had made

She listens, beaming the entire time, urging you on

When at last, you find yourself back at the coffee shop, which is now closed for the night

“This was the plan all along, wasn’t it Jaehee? To say goodbye properly.”

She takes your hands and promises to think of you every day, and that she truly believes she’ll meet you again some day

You hug each other for a long time before you pass on

Jumin

It’s so fun to be invisible in a CEO’s penthouse and office

You cause a lot of trouble before getting caught by the one and only Jumin Han

He seems so dull, but he takes the whole ghost situation impressively well?

Asks you why you’re causing mischief at C&R of all places

And you reveal your death was a result of a poorly managed project that links back to his company

He’s stunned and ashamed

But you watch in surprise as he promptly tasks Assistant Kang with appointing an investigation team

And as you spend more time haunting his apartment with him you two begin to fall in love with each other

He’s so tall but that isn’t a problem when you can just float to give him proper ghostly kisses

Elizabeth the 3rd goes absolutely bonkers chasing you around, and the pictures Jumin attempts to take are so confusing and a mess of blurs and the rest of the RFA are so confused

Reads up on spirit lore so that he doesn’t accidentally hurt you with iron or send you away somehow

Requests that you not play tricks on his staff, including but not limited to his maid, his guards, his chef, his stylist, his nutritionist, Elizabeth’s stylist, Elizabeth’s nutritionist, Jaehee ;;;

But he would LOVE it when you scare the hell out of his father’s new girlfriends like he would have such a hard time keeping that smirk off his face

Everything is actually good with Jumin; he doesn’t mind being with you and often reminds you that you are the love of his life and he doesn’t care if you’re dead --he loves you all the same and he just wants you by his side

Nothing can harm you, no other guy can have you and you’re with him virtually 24/7 --he’s the happiest man alive

Until the day his father sets him up with another woman

They need to secure the next heir to C&R

And you can never give him that

He refuses his father, saying he doesn’t care about heirs but it’s too late; you realize you can never give him a future --no marriage, no baby, no growing old together because you’re dead

At the same time, the investigation of your death comes to a close, with consequences being given to those involved in the project

So there was no reason for you to hang around his penthouse anymore..right?

Even though you loved him, you know you can never be together

Jumin would tell you over and over again that he only wants you and needs nothing else but you but he can see he’s already losing you

And the day you leave him is the day Jumin Han becomes the perfect puppet of his father

Saeyoung

Hates making you upset for many reasons, which includes the fact that you can fry his technology with a mere thought

Neither of you exist in the world, but you exist to each other and that’s all you can really ask for

Think of all the pranks you can play on Yoosung

You leave messages in blood everywhere, reminding him to eat right and shower and clean up his workspace a little

It’s a little startling at first, but he finds himself looking forward to finding them

And looking forward to hanging out with you

And it takes him a while, but he eventually realizes he’s in love with you

Because you’re so much fun to hang out with and you get all his jokes and his puns

And he wants to spend his life pranking people with you

But remember his route, when he pushed you away so much?

This time, you’re the one who pushes him away when you realize that Saeyoung never deserved this

You’ll help him escape the clutches of his agency, help him start a new life

But it’s a life without you in the picture

“MC, please, don’t do this. I love you!”

“Saeyoung, you don’t mean that! I can never give you the future you want. You and Saeran deserve so much more”

“MC, please. Please.”

He would actually get down on his knees and beg you to stay

But it isn’t right and you both knew it

So when you move on, Saeyoung shuts down

And Saeran does his best to comfort his brother but Saeyoung is a hollow shell for a long time

Until one day he brings out 707 again and starts making jokes and saying nonsense and Saeran is both relieved and even more upset that his brother’s coping mechanism has kicked in; he knows Saeyoung is still devastated inside

Saeyoung asks Saeran to come with him to the cemetery and when they get there, Saeyoung stops in front of a tombstone with your name on it

And he starts crying again

“She was the one I wanted to take to the space station, Saeran.”

V

The famous photographer V seems to have a new muse in his recent works

The problem is he never means to

You just sort of show up in his photos

A hand caressing a flower here, the back of your head there, always just out of frame, making it impossible to get a good look

He doesn’t know what to make of it

So he posts the photos in the chatroom and it scares the hell out of Yoosung

Seven makes it 100 times worse and talks about all the signs of a haunting

“Better check your phone, V, make sure there aren’t any pictures of you while you’re sleeping.”

There aren’t but he finds dozens of black shots in his camera roll? Like his phone’s camera had gone off in his pocket or something

Right?

It isn’t until his equipment battery drains alarmingly fast that he tries something new

“Can I have a proper shot of you?”

And he uses his phone to take a few pictures around him

And in the very last one you’re there, a full-bodied apparition, staring right into the camera  

His heart stops oh God what is this Seven was right

You finally reveal yourself, a little embarrassed at being caught

But really if you could haunt anyone wouldn’t you choose a darling like Jihyun?

He’s so curious about you, but at the same time is reluctant to bring up any bad feelings or memories you may still be harboring

Being an empathetic being, you can feel a sort of sadness buried deep in his heart

You help him take photos sometimes, since you don’t have to worry about getting hurt and you have access to all these weird angles thank you floating skills

You still photobomb any selfies he takes and take shots of him when he isn’t paying attention

RFA is confused as to why is V suddenly posting enough pictures to the messenger to rival Zen‘s selfies???

Deep discussions at the dead aha of night

If there’s an afterlife, why did you decide to stay behind?

“I had a feeling that there was something I needed to do.”

“And that involved sneaking into my work?”

He’ll never stop teasing you for that

As you get to know him, you grow more and more adamant about him moving on from the past

Ironic coming from a ghost

He seems determined to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders

So you finally tell him about when you were alive and your untimely departure from life, and that holding on to what cannot be is what kept you here in the first place

While it has a silver lining and let you meet him, nothing good comes from never letting go of guilt and pain

This man is so moved

You believe in him so much???

“I'll try, MC, thank you.”

“You’d better or I'll drain every camera battery from here to the United States.”

Can you actually do that???

You urge him to reconnect with the RFA for his own sake

Being alone is fine and all but isolation is something else entirely

Take it from a spirit who hadn't had a real conversation with anyone in years

He reconnects with the RFA and when you finally see him surrounded by the people he loves you see a bright light

As V turns his camera to you, you smile at him and wave goodbye before moving on

Saeran

As a ghost, you were basically nonexistent to the living unless you made a racket

It was a very lonely type of existence

Until Saeran came along, and was able to see and hear you

Turns out he was almost as isolated as you, though more by choice stemming from his past

For once in his life, somebody understands him and accepts him for who he is

Aside from his brother at least

He looked forward to every minute spent with you and he wasn’t afraid to show you his true self; you didn’t judge him and you weren’t scared of him

He couldn’t hurt you physically and he enjoyed your company so there was no reason to hurt you with his words or push you away

But he would never hurt you --because he’s already fallen for you

You’re his guardian angel

Saeyoung would always wonder why his brother stays in his room for most of the day but he didn’t pry

So Saeran enjoyed his days with you

Until you started talking nonsense about how he should live his life and spend time with his brother more, be with other people

He had no future with you and you only wanted the best for him

“How would you know what’s best for me?!”

“Because I love you, Saeran! This isn’t the life your brother envisioned for you!”

“I will do whatever I damn well please with my time on this earth!”

“Saeran--”

“I love you! Can’t you see that? I love you, MC! I don’t want to live in a world without you!”

You realize that the only way for him to move on is if you remove yourself from the picture

And you did

Saeyoung was startled when his brother started screaming and breaking things and nothing he did could comfort his brother

Why was he destined to suffer? Why did you leave him? You said you loved him --was that just a lie?

Eventually Saeran gets tired and Saeyoung holds him as he cries

Saeran would have a hard time loving someone again

And Saeyoung would always hear him crying in his sleep

But eventually, everyone in the RFA would help him move on and Saeran will learn to smile again

He still misses you though, and there will always be a special place in his heart for you

Vanderwood

He’s not scared of you

In fact, he asks for your help ;;;

His missions are now a piece of cake thanks to you

There’s an enemy waiting for him in the next corner? You tell him immediately since he’s the only one who can hear you

Surprise CCTV cameras? No prob, you can scramble the wires by passing through them!

Your presence calmed him and he felt like everything would be okay as long as you were with him

After all, if you were dead, no one could find you, no one could harm you and no one could take you away from him

But that’s the problem

You’re already dead

He���s in love with a dead girl

And how selfish could he get, holding on to you when you should’ve moved on a long time ago?

He would push you away, telling you to move on or go “haunt a different house, I don’t care”

But he does care

He cares so much

That’s why he needs to let you go

And when you’ve had enough of his tricks, his harsh words, his insistence that he never loved you, you finally leave him and move on

And he would drown himself in alcohol and smoke everyday

Vanderwood never thought he was capable of love before he met you, but your absence will haunt him, along with his regrets and his sorrows

Let us know what you think about our sad spooks? ;;; haha thanks! Follow @rainydayswriter for more amazing content! Happy Halloween!

[pinksausageduo]

kang daniel | prince au! part 2

member: kang daniel  genre: fluffy summary: prince au! after your night of cuddling and daniel’s realisation that he’s madly in love with you something is bound to happen requested: yes part 1 | part 2 | part 3 (final)

daniel wakes up and has a very slow realisation

“shit

y/n

is

cuddling

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

he has like a mini freakout but he tries not to wake you up at the same time

he ends up just lying back down and just admires how cute you look

your hair all messy, your eyes closed with disheveled clothes

he also notices

and how you pout your lips out when you sleep

making him want to kiss you really bad but he won’t

just because he wants you to both enjoy your first kiss

he smirks a little at the thought

he can’t help but grin at the sight of you

after a bit of time telling himself it isn’t a dream and just admiring you

he slowly and cautiously gets up not wanting to wake you and make you breakfast

because he could tell you weren’t sleeping or eating as much as you needed and you weren’t taking care of yourself

because of how much you constantly had to do 

the problem is

he can’t cook for shit

but he wanted to try for you anyways

so he went to his own private kitchen

spoilt prince hehe

he starts cooking bacon luckily he doesn’t completely burn it up

haha i’m so funny i’m rly not just cringing at myself 

but the sunny side up eggs is a whole entire different story

he completely burns one

messes up the yolk in one of them

and then one he ends up cracking and half of it gets on his shirt

luckily the last one he finally gets right

he is actually sweating buckets trying to cook the egg

staring at it constantly

he toasts some bread and prepares some fruit and yogurt

as he admires the work he finally realises and groans

“ugh fuck i didn’t make enough for the two of us”

just as he realises that you wake up yawning super loudly

his face completely lights up at the sight of you

in a baggy t shirt your hair sticking up everywhere

and you uglily yawning then slumping your back cause you were so tired

“good morning, y/n, did you sleep well?” he asks sweetly

your eyes widen and you look like a deer in headlights cause you totally forgot you were slept in daniel’s room

“oh shit, i’m so sorry daniel, i didn’t realise i fell asleep, thank you for letting me stay especially in your bed, wait why am i in your bed oh whatever” you say quickly then continue

“and i slept well the super expensive bed is probably the reason why” you end cheekily

“or maybe the fact you slept near me” daniel said jokingly in return

you blush at the thought of cuddling with him and going back to sleep after kissing him on the nose

“but i prepared breakfast!” daniel exclaims proudly

“really? didn’t you say you couldn’t cook for your life??” you said suspiciously

“ahhh well i tried really hard to cook everything well because i knew you haven’t been eating because of how much you had to stay at the palace” he said shyly

your heart warmed at the thought he cooked for you to make sure you ate sufficiently and you were healthy

you grin brightly back at him and head towards the small table where daniel set up breakfast

you looked down confused at the small portions

“uhhh daniel are you sure this is going to be enough??”

“well umm i kinda messed up 3 of the eggs and yeah...”

you giggle and say “well i’ll see what i can make”

“bu-but i was supposed to cook for you” he says disappointedly with a small frown

you can’t help but think how he looks so cute pouting you say sweetly

“daniel i’m gonna eat your food but you gotta eat mine how does that sound??” you say brightly

he brigtens up and exclaims “ohhhhh like a couple breakfast?!!”

“y-yeah i guess” you shyly saying trying to stop yourself for being so affected by him saying couple

you end up cooking pancakes and of course daniel insisted on flipping them

you have a blast cooking and eating and you have a mini freakout when daniel basically drowned his pancakes in maple syrup

“DANIEL!!!! THAT’S SO MUCH MAPLE SYRUP!!”

“well i love maple syrup which is why i’m using so much duh”

“you’re impossible”

he then grins at you like a 5 year old boy just as you groan

he is literally 5 i can’t

daniel then puts like tablespoons of nutella and you look at him like he’s an alien

“daniel you’re eating way too much sugar you are actually going to get diabetes”

“nahhhh i’ll be fine don’t worry”

you then proceed to take the nutella away from him

which he then ends up chasing you all around his room for

he ends up whisking you up from the back with both of you laughing and smiling

he then puts you down

you smear a bit of nutella on his cheek

and he looks at you in fake shock and you grin cheekily

he then gets some nutella and smears it on your lips/chin

and before you could wipe it off

he grabs your hand sharply and sets it back down softly

and wipes the little bit of nutella off with his thumb

but staring intently at your lips

making your heart flutter so much

you look at each other and your heart is racing so fast

he slowly leans in and so do you

your lips meet and you literally feel like fireworks are going off

he deepends the kiss

it was passionate and sweet

and he smiles as he’s kissing you and you couldn’t help but deepen the kiss as he does

you part after the best kiss either of you ever had and he gives you the biggest and happiest smile ever which you obviously return back

he then says to you in huskiest shyest sweetest voice ever

“if you haven’t realised, i am so completely madly in love with you and i can’t believe i didn’t realise this till yesterday” *cue adorable chuckle* “and i’m a complete idiot for not asking sooner, y/n will you be my girlfriend?”

you laugh in just pure happiness, telling yourself it isn’t a dream, you tell him “wow you just realised your feelings gosh i’m really gonna have to wear the pants in this relationship” you giggle and he smiles brightly 

you continue “but if you didn’t realise daniel or just didn’t listen to seongwoo, i am totally and completely madly in love with you too”

he laughs and whisks you up which you squeal at and then he whispers softly

“i love you” making your heart melt you reply while snuggling into the crook of his neck

“i love you too, daniel”

making him feel like the luckiest guy in the world

just as you finish your sentence

seongwoo bursts in the room and shouts disappointedly while smirking

“FUCK, YOU GUYS AREN’T HAVING SEX, tut tut i’m disappointed daniel i thought you had more moves than that”

with a murderous glint in your eyes you whisper dangerously low

“ong seongwoo you are going to die”

he says pretending to be innocent “whoopsie daisies i just ruined the moment huh?”

and takes one look at you and sprints out of the room with you hot on his tail

and daniel just laughing his heart out at you two

after you hit seongwoo enough times and he begs for your forgiveness

he turns super serious all of sudden 

and quickly hugs you making you genuinely surprised not used to seeing this side of seongwoo

he says gently pleads to you 

“y/n you know we’re technically engaged and i know we’re both in love with different people, your parents would be fine if daniel proposed to you instead of me. who wouldn’t prefer the crown prince over the half brother” he says slightly bitter

you can’t help but hug him back knowing daniel had the choice of bride while he didn’t making him slightly bitter against his parents but of course not daniel

he sighs deeply and continues “you know i love daniel and i want him to be happy and i genuinely don’t think he’ll be happier with any other girl other than you so my ultimate question is would you be ready for an engagement with daniel? if so i can quickly and publicly propose to y/b/f/n which means my parents can’t do anything about it. so would you say yes?”

you’re shocked not even registering you really did have to get married soon but as you thought about it more

you’d happily marry daniel

any day

you’ve never felt this way about anyone else and you knew even in these few months of knowing him you would love to spend the rest of your life with him

especially since you knew your parents would never allow you to marry someone that you actually love

except daniel since he’s the crown prince

and you knew you were truly in love with him

and if seongwoo and y/b/f/n can get their happy ending as well

you knew you would 100% say yes to daniel if he proposed

you tell seongwoo who looks super hopeful

“seongwoo, i would say yes if daniel proposed and if you an y/b/f/n can get married too i’ll be so so so happy” you say brightly with a smile

seongwoo bursts into the biggest grin and says

“thank you so much y/n i genuinely would have no idea what i would do if you said no”

y'all they’re so cute they have such a brother/sister relationship

you end up saying goodbye to daniel and seongwoo and going home

of course daniel ends up stealing a kiss from you making you blush bright red as seongwoo oooooed at you two with daniel shyly grinning at you

but you and daniel text quite a lot until you get to see each other again

your parents thought you were at sleepover with y/b/f/n so they didn’t care as you entered your house 

at the palace daniel and seongwoo discusses the engagements and how and when to propose and end up with an elaborate plan

they also secretly end up picking rings

and they’re suits

they’re like excited school boys

and just grinning cheekily and laughing a lot 

you on the other hand

tell your best friend the good news and she’s over the moon

she and seongwoo had seriously thought about having a baby to prevent the engagement

you were so shocked at that cause that’s a big deal

but you’re also super happy that she gets to marry him

she’s also has a royal status of a lady which means she’s the daughter of a duke

this isn’t accurate whatever deal with it

so she is eligible to marry seongwoo thankfully

since the ball was that weekend you guys end up going ball gown shopping

that would be sm fun

after hours of shopping you decided on a gorgeous strapless red ball gown which would be a show stopper

also signifying the kingdom’s colour which was red

you had to wear hells so you decided some black strappy heels

and picked out jewellery with pearls which would complement the dress

your best friend picked out a royal purple fitted at the top with gorgeous detailing and a long flowy bottom

she chose the colour not only cause she looked amazing it but it was the royal’s family colour

trying to appeal to the king and queen 

she also chose the same black heels as you 

but mostly silver jewellery

you both looked like princesses 

which you would be in just a few more nights 

you and daniel couldn’t help but think about each other

how your wedding would be like, your kids and just your future in general

you fall asleep smiling thinking of being engaged to daniel

but daniel

falls asleep with the thought of your first born

he decided he would be a boy 

he’d have your gorgeous eyes and his smile 

he’d be perfect 

just like you 

and the amazing future ahead of you two

lol so funny story i kinda wrote pt2 and thought it was around 4k guess what IT WAS 8K+ so i’ve decided to split it in two even tho i said i’d only do 2 chapters lmao BUT AT LEAST I’VE WRITTEN THE NEXT CHAPTER and yeah no ball yet  :(( BUT THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE OUT TOMORROW and that has the engagement and stuff, this is just boring build up lol BUT I TRIED TO MAKE IT FLUFFY cause like no big plot points. ANYWAYS HOPE Y’ALL ENJOYED i love all of you who sticked around for this part

also considering making either a prelude or an epilogue i’ll tell you my ideas the next chapter hehe 

LEAVE ME ANONS AND MESSAGE ME!!! LOVEE YOU ALL!!!

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Connections: Part 3.

thatwetwomaybeoneagain said:  Oh I do love a bit of angst ,it makes what comes after all the more nicer @mybeautifuldecay

...Hopefully you’ll appreciate this; Mod MBD.

Claire stayed cocooned in her bed for just a day, shutting out the world from her misery. Joe had arranged for some annual leave from work, but she didn’t want to be alone for any longer than necessary. She’d only just begun to get dressed when the doorbell rang, its distinct echo filling the hall with a jaunty off-pitch tune.

Pulling her hair back into a loose bun, Claire inhaled deeply as she placed her palm on the door handle.

“Claire,” Jamie stood on her stoop, a large bunch of multicoloured flowers gripped tightly between his fingers, “I didna know whether you would answer or not.” He seemed meek and uncertain and Claire immediately felt horrid for excluding him.

“You didn’t have to,” she whispered, stepping aside for him to come in.

The kettle was already boiling as Claire took the bunch of colourful blooms from Jamie, her head dipped so that she could avoid eye contact. In the kitchen she stalled for time by cutting the stems of the flowers and placing them in a tall vase before placing it on the windowsill.

Silently, sensing her melancholy, Jamie snuck up behind Claire and wrapped his arms around her middle. His hands unconsciously rested over her abdomen, causing Claire’s fingers to tip the vase, spilling a few droplets of water.

“J-Jamie…” she stuttered, her palms sweating as his large fingers splayed over her belly. He was warm, almost unnaturally so and she couldn’t help but lean back into him. As if pulled from her, the grief of the past twenty-four hours seemed to rise up again to pull her under and Claire let her head fall forwards as the tears started to cascade down her cheeks. “It was only two or three weeks, it might not even have been at all. I sh-shouldn’t be so--”

“Hush, Claire,” Jamie soothed, his nose nuzzling the top of her head as he rocked her backwards and forwards, “why did ye no’ tell me?”

It was a statement that held no judgement or resentment. In fact the way he spoke to her made Claire feel even more drawn to him. Suddenly her mind was blank and vocalising all of the reasons in her head that she'd made up as to why she'd kept it from him at all seemed an impossible task.

But she had her misgivings, and even with her mind as blank as it was she could still muster the words to give one solid answer. “I'm used to being alone, Jamie. Even when I was with Frank...I was still alone. Why should I alter that now?”

It was said with such despair in her voice that Jamie’s heart dropped. She was right, of course. He’d been alone, too. But he had always had the support of his sister and brother-in-law-to-be. Never had he to face anything truly alone. She certainly had Geillis and Joe, but apart from them, she had no true confidantes. Having known him only such a short while, it was inconceivable for her to suddenly be able to trust someone with such a large part of themselves.

“Aye, I ken, Claire. And I’m sorry...I shouldna have expected ye to contact me. I just --did.”

Claire’s heart lurched. But as quickly as the feelings of immediate dread began to flutter within her they left, soothed by Jamie’s calm motions. He ran his hands over her tummy in circular motions as they swayed softly in Claire’s sparse kitchen.

“I can’t be that for you, Jamie,” she whispered. “The girl who falls madly and deeply in love with the handsome guy.” “...and I dinna want you to be, Claire. I just want you...as ye are.”

The steady drip of the tap broke the silence and Claire heaved out a massive breath.

She was lying already. Again. And the worst thing was, she knew Jamie could tell and yet she couldn’t stop herself from saying the words.

“I can’t love you at all, Jamie.”

Claire bit the inside of her lip to stop herself from retracting the words instantly and waited with bated breath for Jamie to say something...anything.

“Do you think you were...pregnant?” he said instead, turning the topic of conversation away from Claire and her stunningly large issue with commitment.

“I’ll never know. But I’m never usually late.”

“If ye were--”

“Don’t,” she interrupted, her tone fast and slightly sharp as she cut off his line of thinking without hesitation. “Whatever you do, don’t finish that thought, Jamie. Please. I just can’t think about it right now. It’s still too raw.”

Jamie nodded. He knew Jenny, his sister, had struggled with similar troubles before having her first bairn (out of wedlock, much to their parent’s shock) only a year before and he knew opening those wounds would only lead to a dark place. “Alright. But I need ye to know that I’m here. That I will be here, nay matter what.”

Now it was Claire’s turn to acquiesce.

“Yes,” she sighed, her chest loosening as her heart began to slow its pace -finally. “I promise I’ll remember that.”

Sliding his hands upwards, Jamie manoevered himself closer, his hips falling in line with the curve of the base of her spine as his hands continued to massage her gently.

“Take me to bed, Jamie,” Claire whispered, the breathlessness of her words sending shivers down his spine. “Take me to bed and make me forget it. God, please?” Not above begging, Claire joined her fingers with Jamie’s and brought his hand up and over her still clothed breast.

“But yer…” he said, swallowing audibly as he rocked his hips in time with her soft movements. She felt divine but he didn’t want to end up as a crutch, alleviating her pain whilst causing them both to suffer more than necessary. Although his body rebelled against such a notion, his heart and his head both knew that it was the right thing to do. She might need comfort, but she certainly didn’t need to use sex as a weapon - especially so soon after when she’d surely be in the grips of some serious period pain.

“No, not anymore. It’s done. It was quick.”

“Claire...I want ye,” he muttered, his words jagged and short as she rolled her arse into his groin suggestively, “Christ I do, but no’ when yer hurting like this. No’ when yer in pain.”

“Fuck pain, Jamie. Fuck it all. Please, I won’t hide from you again, I’ve said I won’t. But *fuck* I want you, so badly…”

He ached. Her words ran through him sharper than the slice of a blade and although he could sense her hesitance to admit, audibly, her feelings for him, he could feel the desperate need that she had building inside of her. They were linked, the pair of them, inextricably through some invisible tie that would be almost impossible to sever and no matter how hard she fought against it, he sensed that she would only fail.

It didn’t matter now that his head told him to leave, run far far away and let her *really* think this over before they made anymore steps in their physical relationship, he had felt that pull and he knew that she had felt it too. She could have gotten sex from absolutely anyone. God knows she was attractive enough. But she hadn’t. She’d stayed away from the world and kept her pain hidden, isolated in her own small flat. Until he had intruded.

“Jamie,” she gasped, her nipples hardening beneath his palms as he moved his hands under her pyjama top. He’d done it without actively contemplating the action, responding to her body unconsciously as they’d been moving together, as he’d been thinking.

“I canna do this, Claire. No’ just for the sake of it. I...as much as yer no’ that girl,” he said, his fingers stroking her pert nipple, the tips of them tingling as he discovered more of her enchanting flesh, “I’m not the guy who just has random encounters. I’m not.”

“O-oh…” she murmured, her breath coming uneven now as her one free hand gripped the counter, her knuckles going white with the pressure of holding herself together.

It was mean, he thought, the misty fog of lustful need almost blinding him, coaxing her out of herself like this. But they’d both begun to walk this path together, she was just as much to blame for it as he was. Claire had meant to use sex to bind her own wounds, to sew her back together when she most needed a glue to heal her broken heart and Jamie had shown just the right amount of willing. And Jamie had seen his chance to assist with that, in the only way he knew how.

He loved her. He’d loved the notion of her before they’d even met, but having spoken with her, drank with her, eaten with her and even *slept* with her, he knew that there would be no other for him. Not now, not ever. Jamie breathed out, aware that he’d been holding his breath for some time now. His father's words struck him like lightning and he felt the wisdom of them take hold of his heart as he pushed his crotch solidly against Claire’s arse.

‘When you meet the right one...you’ll know.’ Brian had said to him, and he had been right. He did know.

Realising her advantage, Claire reached back as Jamie became lost to his revelation. Undoing the buttons on his flies she pulled apart his jeans, unceremoniously shoving his boxer shorts out of the way in the process as she spread her legs to stand either side of his hips.

“Claire,” he groaned, trying to manoeuvre himself out of her grasp as his words seemed to peter into dust.

“Jamie,” she replied, unwilling to let him escape so easily. She was breaking down his barriers little at a time, unafraid to use her body to get what she needed - no matter how selfish it was. “I need *you*.”

It was the ‘you’ that broke Jamie, the intonation of it lulling him into a false sense of security. Although it was a fib, Claire thought she’d enticed him, bent him to her will and partially she had.

It only took a moment and he was inside her, the damp moisture of her coating him and drawing him as deep as he could go. Jamie hadn’t even noticed her lack of underwear before he’d felt the familiar sensation of her heat surrounding him.

Flopping against her, Claire held onto the kitchen worktop with more force and pushed her arse backwards. She felt high, lost to the sensation of him pinning her against the marble work surface. Twisting her head, she angled her mouth so that she could tempt him closer. Needing some manner of intimacy, she whispered his name, calling him towards her.

Through the heavy inky fog that effectively joined him and Claire, Jamie felt her skin prickle as she moved to kiss him. He wanted to stop himself. He *wanted* to carry her to bed and hold her properly, in a warm, comfortable space where he could take back some measure of control and see her properly cared for. But in this moment he knew she just needed...this. This - whatever it was - was what Claire had to have in order to chase away some of her demons.

After, he reasoned, he would do as he wanted and love her properly. In her own bed, with her thick sheets shielding them both from the world outside.

“Oh - fuck!” Claire cried out, her knees shaking as Jamie pushed his mouth against hers, effectively stealing the words from her lips as he rolled his hips against her arse.

She could feel him against her womb, the pulsing ebb of that peak coursing through her cold veins, bringing life back into her tired body.

Keeping one hand on her breast, Jamie shifted the other down...lower, between her legs where he pushed two fingers against her. She was squirming, her thighs closing against his hand as if she meant to keep him there forever and the feeling of it, her core closing around his cock made him gasp out in pleasure.

With his fingers locked between her legs, only inches away from his cock, Jamie cried out and came to her...hard and fast. His whole body shook as he fell, his vision blurred and he worried, through the thrill of it all, that he might be hurting her with his body weight as he gripped her to him.

Claire couldn’t move. Nor could she think. Her whole body was fraught, on the edge of that blissful abyss, as his fingers twitched against her…*there*. Her brain seemed to melt as she fell, her cheek hitting the countertop slowly, against the cool marble. She almost screamed as she came, the force of his orgasm shooting through her as he intimated her own.

It was minutes before she could think clearly again. First it was just the twitch of a finger, and then the small movement of her arm as she felt around for Jamie. She couldn’t even tell if he was still holding her against her own kitchen worktop.

“J-Jamie?” She questioned, the darkness clearing as the faded floral print of her bedroom came into view, “why am I...?”

“You passed out,” he whispered, the subtle rumbling of the city beyond invading their quiet bubble, “and I didna think you’d be comfy on the floor of yer kitchen.”

“You didn’t just...leave?”

“Nay,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes in the dark where he lay behind her, his arms holding her against his bare chest, “I didna leave. Do you want me to?” He regretted asking the moment he had, thinking he could live in blissful ignorance if she didn’t directly ask him to sod off.

“No,” she sighed, shuffling further beneath the quilt as the night wore on around them. “Stay, at least for tonight.”

Jamie smiled, his fingers clenching together against her stomach as he slid his leg between the two of hers, lending her yet more warmth.

“...and thank you,” she whispered, thinking him to have fallen asleep already, “for bringing me to bed. For taking care of me.”

“You’re welcome, a ghradh,” he returned, when he was *certain* that she had, feeling her shallow breathing as she gently lulled herself into a deep slumber. “I wouldna leave ye. Not now, not ever...mo nighean donn.”

[rainydayswriter]

RFA + Minor Trio find out MC is a ghost/dead

Last spooky hc for Halloween! Written with @reifromrfa whom I adore. 

Fair warning, these flavors vary from bittersweet to absolutely SAD.

Yoosung

“I think my dorm is haunted.”

Everyday he logs into the chatroom to tell everyone the weird things that are happening around his dorm room

Lights flickering on and off

The chair scraping against the floor as it moves on its own

“Seven I’m telling you!!! My guild members all told me that they can hear a girl laughing whenever my mic is on!!!”

Will probably sleep at another member’s house for a while ;;;

And when he returns he’ll see you typing scary messages on his computer

Let’s face it, there’ll be a lot of screaming and tears from Yoosung

But when he calms down you two start talking and he finds out you're not such a bad person ghost after all

“Did you have to scare me that much, MC? I was terrified you know!” ;;;; poor kid ;;;

Spends his days playing LOLOL, going to school and hanging out with you most of the time

And it was great at first because for the first time, he got to play pranks on other people

You told him the answers for his tests it wasn’t cheating okay, you just told him enough so he could pass ;;;

You guys have so much fun together that you find yourself more and more attracted to him

But you realize he’s spending waaaay too much time with you instead of his friends

Instead of real people

He doesn’t even log in to the RFA chatroom anymore

And you tell him to live his life and just forget about you but he confesses his feelings for you and why is the world so unfair and cruel to him?

First Rika, now you? He’s so deeply and madly in love with you and he doesn’t know what to do okay

You guys cry together for the rest of the night

And you realize...he has to let you go

It will be painful --you would say goodbye but he’d beg you not to leave him

There will be a lot of tears and begging and arguing but in the end, you make him understand that you’re already gone, that he can never have a future with you

And he’s such a bright kid with so much potential

So you leave

Yoosung will be a zombie for months --all the RFA members try to help him but they can’t bring you back anymore

He starts recovering after a while, thinking you’ve gone to a better place and his grades start to improve

When he graduates he’s surrounded by the RFA members and his friends

He’s so happy that doesn’t notice you watching him with a smile on your face and tears in your eyes

Zen

How can a ghost look so breathtaking?

When he first found out you were a ghost, he couldn’t believe it because aren’t ghosts supposed to look scary and bloody? ;;;

He’s surprised that he could touch you but he’s relieved that he can

Fans and paparazzi would go INSANE trying to figure out who Zen’s girlfriend is

You guys will just laugh it off and you’d even scare some of the paparazzi stalking Zen

Date nights are something else

“One ticket, sir?”

And he would almost argue that the guy was being rude because the most beautiful woman on the planet was beside him

But then, nobody else can see you, can they?

He’ll hold his tongue and pretend everything's okay

But you see the weight it puts on his shoulders, and you’re so grateful to him for accepting you as is (ie. dead)

You always have the best seat in the house during his performances (aka hovering above the crowd lol)

But whenever you see women looking at him and Zen ignoring everyone, you start to feel guilty

Because those women were all alive and you weren’t; you may love each other, but your love can only go so far

And day by day you feel worse seeing Zen fawn over you when you can never give him a child who would inherit his good looks

So you sit down with him one night and discuss it with him but he immediately stops you

“MC, for a long time I’ve been in relationships where they just wanted me for my fame and my good looks. You’re the first person I’ve met who loves me for me. I want to spend my life with you. Someday, we’ll be together, my princess. Please stay with me until then.”

You agree to stay and you guys are happy for quite sometime but you still can’t shake the feeling that you’re holding him back

“Hyun...I need to go.”

“Go? Go where? Let me grab my ja--”

“No, Hyun. You can’t come with me.”

Dread and fear fills him

And you’re both crying because you both love each other and he doesn’t want you to go

But in the end, he makes you a promise

“My princess, I can’t stop you from leaving...but please wait for me. I will surely find my way back to you again.”

And after a successful career and a long and fruitful life, you’re there waiting for him with a smile

Jaehee

She only saw you when it was absolutely pouring, at the back of the coffee shop on her way to or from the office

You quickly became her confidante, someone she could rage to about her boss or gush about Zen’s work

It became a routine, since you were always at the same place at the same time

You don’t talk much about yourself, but she takes note of every little detail you give

And soon it all kind of adds up

There was an accident not too far from the shop, with one single fatality, someone at the wrong place at the wrong time

And her heart just;;;;

Breaks

She wants to help you, because you’ve been such a comfort to her, but she doesn’t know how

But you tell her that just spending time with her is more than enough

Her heart is bursting with tears

Spirits are usually caused by lingering regrets or emotions right?

Jaehee suggests leaving the coffee shop one evening, taking a walk

Cautiously, you accept, letting her lead you around at first before you take over, pointing out places you frequented when you lived, where you had worked, your favorite store, the people you had met, the plans you had made

She listens, beaming the entire time, urging you on

When at last, you find yourself back at the coffee shop, which is now closed for the night

“This was the plan all along, wasn’t it Jaehee? To say goodbye properly.”

She takes your hands and promises to think of you every day, and that she truly believes she’ll meet you again some day

You hug each other for a long time before you pass on

Jumin

It’s so fun to be invisible in a CEO’s penthouse and office

You cause a lot of trouble before getting caught by the one and only Jumin Han

He seems so dull, but he takes the whole ghost situation impressively well?

Asks you why you’re causing mischief at C&R of all places

And you reveal your death was a result of a poorly managed project that links back to his company

He’s stunned and ashamed

But you watch in surprise as he promptly tasks Assistant Kang with appointing an investigation team

And as you spend more time haunting his apartment with him you two begin to fall in love with each other

He’s so tall but that isn’t a problem when you can just float to give him proper ghostly kisses

Elizabeth the 3rd goes absolutely bonkers chasing you around, and the pictures Jumin attempts to take are so confusing and a mess of blurs and the rest of the RFA are so confused

Reads up on spirit lore so that he doesn’t accidentally hurt you with iron or send you away somehow

Requests that you not play tricks on his staff, including but not limited to his maid, his guards, his chef, his stylist, his nutritionist, Elizabeth’s stylist, Elizabeth’s nutritionist, Jaehee ;;;

But he would LOVE it when you scare the hell out of his father’s new girlfriends like he would have such a hard time keeping that smirk off his face

Everything is actually good with Jumin; he doesn’t mind being with you and often reminds you that you are the love of his life and he doesn’t care if you’re dead --he loves you all the same and he just wants you by his side

Nothing can harm you, no other guy can have you and you’re with him virtually 24/7 --he’s the happiest man alive

Until the day his father sets him up with another woman

They need to secure the next heir to C&R

And you can never give him that

He refuses his father, saying he doesn’t care about heirs but it’s too late; you realize you can never give him a future --no marriage, no baby, no growing old together because you’re dead

At the same time, the investigation of your death comes to a close, with consequences being given to those involved in the project

So there was no reason for you to hang around his penthouse anymore..right?

Even though you loved him, you know you can never be together

Jumin would tell you over and over again that he only wants you and needs nothing else but you but he can see he’s already losing you

And the day you leave him is the day Jumin Han becomes the perfect puppet of his father

Saeyoung

Hates making you upset for many reasons, which includes the fact that you can fry his technology with a mere thought

Neither of you exist in the world, but you exist to each other and that’s all you can really ask for

Think of all the pranks you can play on Yoosung

You leave messages in blood everywhere, reminding him to eat right and shower and clean up his workspace a little

It’s a little startling at first, but he finds himself looking forward to finding them

And looking forward to hanging out with you

And it takes him a while, but he eventually realizes he’s in love with you

Because you’re so much fun to hang out with and you get all his jokes and his puns

And he wants to spend his life pranking people with you

But remember his route, when he pushed you away so much?

This time, you’re the one who pushes him away when you realize that Saeyoung never deserved this

You’ll help him escape the clutches of his agency, help him start a new life

But it’s a life without you in the picture

“MC, please, don’t do this. I love you!”

“Saeyoung, you don’t mean that! I can never give you the future you want. You and Saeran deserve so much more”

“MC, please. Please.”

He would actually get down on his knees and beg you to stay

But it isn’t right and you both knew it

So when you move on, Saeyoung shuts down

And Saeran does his best to comfort his brother but Saeyoung is a hollow shell for a long time

Until one day he brings out 707 again and starts making jokes and saying nonsense and Saeran is both relieved and even more upset that his brother’s coping mechanism has kicked in; he knows Saeyoung is still devastated inside

Saeyoung asks Saeran to come with him to the cemetery and when they get there, Saeyoung stops in front of a tombstone with your name on it

And he starts crying again

“She was the one I wanted to take to the space station, Saeran.”

V

The famous photographer V seems to have a new muse in his recent works

The problem is he never means to

You just sort of show up in his photos

A hand caressing a flower here, the back of your head there, always just out of frame, making it impossible to get a good look

He doesn’t know what to make of it

So he posts the photos in the chatroom and it scares the hell out of Yoosung

Seven makes it 100 times worse and talks about all the signs of a haunting

“Better check your phone, V, make sure there aren’t any pictures of you while you’re sleeping.”

There aren’t but he finds dozens of black shots in his camera roll? Like his phone’s camera had gone off in his pocket or something

Right?

It isn’t until his equipment battery drains alarmingly fast that he tries something new

“Can I have a proper shot of you?”

And he uses his phone to take a few pictures around him

And in the very last one you’re there, a full-bodied apparition, staring right into the camera  

His heart stops oh God what is this Seven was right

You finally reveal yourself, a little embarrassed at being caught

But really if you could haunt anyone wouldn’t you choose a darling like Jihyun?

He’s so curious about you, but at the same time is reluctant to bring up any bad feelings or memories you may still be harboring

Being an empathetic being, you can feel a sort of sadness buried deep in his heart

You help him take photos sometimes, since you don’t have to worry about getting hurt and you have access to all these weird angles thank you floating skills

You still photobomb any selfies he takes and take shots of him when he isn’t paying attention

RFA is confused as to why is V suddenly posting enough pictures to the messenger to rival Zen‘s selfies???

Deep discussions at the dead aha of night

If there’s an afterlife, why did you decide to stay behind?

“I had a feeling that there was something I needed to do.”

“And that involved sneaking into my work?”

He’ll never stop teasing you for that

As you get to know him, you grow more and more adamant about him moving on from the past

Ironic coming from a ghost

He seems determined to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders

So you finally tell him about when you were alive and your untimely departure from life, and that holding on to what cannot be is what kept you here in the first place

While it has a silver lining and let you meet him, nothing good comes from never letting go of guilt and pain

This man is so moved

You believe in him so much???

“I'll try, MC, thank you.”

“You’d better or I'll drain every camera battery from here to the United States.”

Can you actually do that???

You urge him to reconnect with the RFA for his own sake

Being alone is fine and all but isolation is something else entirely

Take it from a spirit who hadn't had a real conversation with anyone in years

He reconnects with the RFA and when you finally see him surrounded by the people he loves you see a bright light

As V turns his camera to you, you smile at him and wave goodbye before moving on

Saeran

As a ghost, you were basically nonexistent to the living unless you made a racket

It was a very lonely type of existence

Until Saeran came along, and was able to see and hear you

Turns out he was almost as isolated as you, though more by choice stemming from his past

For once in his life, somebody understands him and accepts him for who he is

Aside from his brother at least

He looked forward to every minute spent with you and he wasn’t afraid to show you his true self; you didn’t judge him and you weren’t scared of him

He couldn’t hurt you physically and he enjoyed your company so there was no reason to hurt you with his words or push you away

But he would never hurt you --because he’s already fallen for you

You’re his guardian angel

Saeyoung would always wonder why his brother stays in his room for most of the day but he didn’t pry

So Saeran enjoyed his days with you

Until you started talking nonsense about how he should live his life and spend time with his brother more, be with other people

He had no future with you and you only wanted the best for him

“How would you know what’s best for me?!”

“Because I love you, Saeran! This isn’t the life your brother envisioned for you!”

“I will do whatever I damn well please with my time on this earth!”

“Saeran--”

“I love you! Can’t you see that? I love you, MC! I don’t want to live in a world without you!”

You realize that the only way for him to move on is if you remove yourself from the picture

And you did

Saeyoung was startled when his brother started screaming and breaking things and nothing he did could comfort his brother

Why was he destined to suffer? Why did you leave him? You said you loved him --was that just a lie?

Eventually Saeran gets tired and Saeyoung holds him as he cries

Saeran would have a hard time loving someone again

And Saeyoung would always hear him crying in his sleep

But eventually, everyone in the RFA would help him move on and Saeran will learn to smile again

He still misses you though, and there will always be a special place in his heart for you

Vanderwood

He’s not scared of you

In fact, he asks for your help ;;;

His missions are now a piece of cake thanks to you

There’s an enemy waiting for him in the next corner? You tell him immediately since he’s the only one who can hear you

Surprise CCTV cameras? No prob, you can scramble the wires by passing through them!

Your presence calmed him and he felt like everything would be okay as long as you were with him

After all, if you were dead, no one could find you, no one could harm you and no one could take you away from him

But that’s the problem

You’re already dead

He’s in love with a dead girl

And how selfish could he get, holding on to you when you should’ve moved on a long time ago?

He would push you away, telling you to move on or go “haunt a different house, I don’t care”

But he does care

He cares so much

That’s why he needs to let you go

And when you’ve had enough of his tricks, his harsh words, his insistence that he never loved you, you finally leave him and move on

And he would drown himself in alcohol and smoke everyday

Vanderwood never thought he was capable of love before he met you, but your absence will haunt him, along with his regrets and his sorrows

[roseyhyuck]

we only have forever ° mark x reader

edit: it’s on wattpad now !

astronaut! mark lee x reader

                  • genre:

 fluff, angst (if u squint)

• warnings:

uh, mentions of divorce ?

• a/n:  this is (obviously) a non-idol au, i’ve also changed the reader’s and mark’s, dates of birth to fit this au. also, i’m aware that you probably won’t be sent up into space for 5 years (5 years without gravity is a lot on the body), but uh, ignore that for the plot ??  oh, and excuse how many time skips there are?

On September 15th, 2017, a seven year old you watched as Cassini burned into Saturn’s atmosphere, and seven year old you cried. Because how could you let go of something you so strongly believed discovered so much of your future? You were so tired of letting go of things you cared so much about, so the stars, and planets, and the whole universe was what you fell in love with and held onto, so dearly. They could never leave you and they never would, because, from star dust we come, and to star dust we will return.

The first day of middle school was the scariest thing you had experienced so far. You felt like pluto out of everyone there, and much like pluto, you experienced quite a lot of change in such a small amount of time. Your parents divorced, you moved from Toronto to Vancouver, and were at, of course, a new school. It was a foreign feeling, having no company to eat lunch with, but the first thing that came to mind was “you won’t be lonely in space, you’ll have the whole galaxy to be your friend.”  That didn’t stop your anxiety though, it didn’t stop the fear of making no friends, or the teachers hating you, so you tried to push it to the back of your head and act like it wasn’t there.

Quickly, you made friends - and you grew fond of the giggly boy who hung out with the foreign exchange students that were either older or younger than him and was part of a performance group. Being the careful person that you were, you never told anyone, and even when you jotted down your feelings onto your feelings into your leather journal, you never refered to him as his name. Nobody would’ve guessed that you liked Mark Lee, or that you used the universe to describe him, or that Saturn was your favorite planet out of the main ones, or that you called the only boy you had ever liked “Saturn.”

It changed though, it took one sleepover, your journal slipping out of your bag as you went to get a glass of water, and your friends snooping around to realize you liked someone. But like said before, they would’ve never guessed that the boy you said had a smile that shone as bright as the stars, and eyes prettier than Neptune, was the dorky boy whose friends were mostly all in high school.

Calling him Saturn actually benefited you; you studied more about the planet and space itself, it was odd, but you did it. In the end, you were in the top of your astronomy class - a class you didn’t share with Mark. To you, that was okay, it only meant that you could spend this class on the one thing you loved more than Mark, and that was astronomy. And by chance, on your way to that class, you were looking at your phone instead of straight ahead, only to be knocked off your feet and your books scattered everywhere. Whoever did it muttered “sorry” multiple times before and while offering a hand to help you up. Taking it, you stood up, only to bend over and pick up one of your books. When you finally looked up - it was Mark Lee.

But instead of you, he was looking at your books, his eyes shining like stars.

“You like astronomy?” He asked excitedly, and you only nodded, a little dumbfound. Smiling, he asked another question, “What’s your favorite planet?” You couldn’t help but smile. God, of you course you couldn’t. “Saturn. What about you?” And if you thought his smile couldn’t light up more, you were wrong, because it did, and you remember that on that night, when you got home, you wrote in your journal, “his smile turned into a meteor shower!!!”

School dances were never something you cared about - not until it was themed after the universe. You didn’t have anyone to go with, due to the fact that most friends you made didn’t last very long - but Mark did. Whenever you forgot to text him, or get your nose out of a book, or look away from the night sky long enough to take a proper, deep breath, he made sure you did. One of the many, many reasons he was your best friend.

He was your best friend and the boy you were in love with.

You didn’t stop calling him Saturn in your journal, but you did start calling him Saturn here and there, and because of your first meeting, he called you Cassini here and there - because you crashed into him, just as Cassini crashed into Saturn.

So for prom, he went in a tan and white suit, and you went in a soft yellow and silver dress. It didn’t match by any means, but it had its reasons, and you loved those. Your’s and Mark’s outfits didn’t match the theme - you two weren’t blue, or purple, or some shade of pink, no, but you two were a shade of something in the galaxy, it  meant something. He was dressed as Saturn, and by chance you called him that in front of your middle school friends, and they about fell out of their seats. One of them, Marie, rushed up to you, “So that’s Saturn?” She seemed half shocked, half excited as your face paled and you only nodded. “Do you still l-” She began to ask before you cut her off, “Yes, I do.” Walking past you, she went up to a confused Mark, “Did you know that (Y/N)’s liked you since sixth grade?” And before you could hear the reply, you left the room, and texted your mom to pick you up.

You couldn’t do this. You couldn’t lose the one person who meant the world to you - who meant more than the stars and planets combined, to you. So you stood outside the front of the school, trying to blink back tears as you waited for your mother and prayed that she came before Mark found you, but of course, she didn’t. Mark bursted through the doors, his cheeks flushed, and he stared at you, in your outfit that didn’t match his yet he helped you pick it out, and was almost more excited about it than you were. Your arms were crossed over your chest in defeat. “(Y/N), I- I, um” He said, only to stutter, and you felt bad, because you truly believed he was coming up with an excuse, and that he didn’t like you back, and of course you expected it.

“I like you too . . . If you still like me, that is.” Mark spoke, wiping his sweaty hands off onto his pants. And on that night, you two shared your first kiss, and your first big memory as a couple.

Silently, you watched, a smile spread across your lips as you stared up. Breathing out, you were shrouded in darkness as the sun and moon lay together. Asking for visit to Australia to watch a solar eclipse was weird for a graduation present. And Mark asked the same thing - of course he did; he couldn’t stand a day away from you, do you think he could handle two weeks away from you ?

“It’s really pretty” You whispered, your face lighting up with joy. “Not even half as pretty as you though” Mark replied, smiling down at you. While you watched the eclipse he watched you, because love does that - it makes you forget even your most favorite things.

Sitting on the couch across from you, was Mark holding his letter, an excited smile on his face. After so much hard work from you both, today you’d find out if either of you were going into space.

If either of you would finally get to live among the stars you so desperately wanted to be apart of.

He believed you were more likely to be sent up there, and when you asked why, he dodged the question and never did you get an answer. It bothered you but every time you asked, he acted like you never spoke a word about it, and it confused you deeply, but now, you would both see if he was right - and he wasn’t. You tried to mask your disappointment with excitement for him, but he could see right through, he could see as you tried to keep your voice steady and any light in your eyes. He knew it was faltering , so he pulled you close to him and whispered, “I swear I won’t do it if you don’t want him to.” Why would you not want him to? You frowned and looked up at him, “I do want you to go.” Searching your face, Mark shook his head and replied, “You’re lying, I know you are.” That was enough to feel the tears build up in the corners of your eyes; you playfully punched his arm, your voice cracking as you spoke, “I promise I’m not, you’ll just have to go up there and enjoy it for me.” Tilting his head as he tried not to cry - you knew he was going to cry, of course he was - he rested his head on your shoulder. “But, (Y/N), I can’t enjoy anything without you by my side.” You wrapped your arms around him, “But I’ll be with you every step of the way.”  

You and Mark made promises on many things: stay happy, take care of yourself, make sure he enjoys universe for you, and, the most important - don’t fall out of love. That one you promised so strongly on, because he didn’t want to spend five years away from you, missing you, not even on the same planet as you,  only to see that you had fallen madly in love with someone he never heard of, or worse, someone he had heard of. You also promised to watch him take off, and not to cry over him. The later was one you both knew you couldn’t keep, but he made you promise it so that you’d at least try not to.

There you stood, on top the hill you two would meet up on at nights he had off, to star gaze, so that you could watch him take off - on a ship that was named “Cassini II.” Standing there, you told yourself he’d never know if you were or were not watching, so where you were didn’t matter - but you were so, so wrong. He knew you weren’t with everyone else watching, and it broke his heart, because he thought you weren’t watching at all, and that you didn’t even care to say goodbye.

But it hurt less to say goodbye. Because it felt like you weren’t really doing it. Because it felt easier to deny that he was gone. Because you were so used to saying goodbye, and he was the only person you could never say goodbye to. Instead of goodbye, the night before, you wrote in Mark’s new journal, on the front page, “we only have forever.” Now that it was the beginning of forever, it seemed more like you had nothing, and that world was coming down you, and that tears wouldn’t stop coming. You prayed they’d stop coming, so that you could watch him leave, no matter how hard it was to watch. You wiped the tears away, and watched as he slowly went up, seeing him leave this earth to go to space. “Off to infinite you go, my dear, Saturn” You whispered to nobody but yourself.

To think that he was going to join the same place you compared him to in middle school, was both heart breaking, and beautiful.

He spent two years in training, five in space, and during his time in space, you enrolled in college. It was an astronomy class because what else would you study in ? An actual subject that could land you a job that supported you ?

Your professor decided to spend one class watching the landing of Cassini II, and to study the first Cassini. When it was on the big screen, the spaceship landing, you held your face in your hands, a dofus grin on your face with tears in the corners of your eyes - because your sun and moon was home. He was finally home. As it landed and the astronauts got off, you wiped the tears from your eyes, knowing that one of them was the boy you promised to love with all of you being and until you died. You finally made it past forever, something that was supposed to be impossible.

When you got home that day, you called his mom to know when you could finally see him, and you two planned for you to see him next week. And now it’s next week, you’re standing outside his door with your fist raised, ready to knock on the door, and for some reason, you’re afraid. Of him having fallen out of love. Of him having had changed. Of so many things, but when your knuckles come down on the door and he opens, the first thing you could ask as tears entered your eyes was, “Was it beautiful?” He smiled at you, a teary eyed smile, and replied, “Yeah,” you let out a breath before he continued, “but not even half as beautiful as you.”

[eversincethatnight]

Have you really been listening? This is the last of what I have to say on my side for a while. 

You’re the kind of guy to do what you think is “necessary.” All the things you’ve done to me are actions that have made you stay true to who you are. They hurt me tremendously. Ironically, it’s what I’ve grown to love about you. Ironically, it’s what leads me to believe when you’re in, you’re all in...and I just wanted that for us. 

I’m going to carry on with what I processed today because I feel it to be “necessary.” 

Love is a peculiar thing. You can definitely love someone, but not be in love with them. I always question it and feel like I manage to romanticize this way too much or that I’ve been in lust, or make things up in my head. This thought really had me going today. I was questioning everything and I was like “Do you really love him or do you think you love him?” “What has he done for you to feel this way?” I thought about all the things you did and didn’t do for me...and it all didn’t matter with what I came up with. I know exactly why I feel what I feel and I know that it’s honest and true. I really would like to go through my day feeling like I’m not curious about you in the world like I am, constantly. It takes a lot of my energy knowing it’s because I don’t talk to you anymore like we did. Knowing we don’t keep tabs on one another and that you don’t want me in your life. The reason I’m this way is because I just feel like it’s a situation that I predicted, but really wish didn’t turn out the way it did. I rethink everything and analyze what’s transpired over the last few months over and over again. I tell myself I’m not being fair to myself and try to talk myself out of this by saying “he’s not giving a shit about you now, so why are you fumbling around in these feelings?” I hate having to do this and think so negatively about you in order to get by. 

And then I asked myself this: was I alone in the moments where I felt connected to you? They were fleeting moments. Did I do this all on my own? I couldn’t have right? They were moments I enjoyed, but you so easily were focused on the world outside of us all the time. I always took it as you not being interested in me, and I remember a time you felt bad that I questioned your interest. But really, I couldn’t have been alone in these moments right? It wasn’t one-sided? I feel like you constantly didn’t let yourself go over this wall. There was something always holding you back. I was always left wanting more. You wouldn’t let yourself fall too deep all while I just fell so damn hard for you. 

I wonder why you haven’t gotten so frustrated that you just tell me to leave you alone. Well, don’t worry about that one...it inevitably will have to happen because I feel I’m left with no choice. I am constantly setting myself up for disappointment and hurt when I don’t get the response I’d like from you. I’d just like respect and ease when we communicate. I don’t understand why I get the constant cold shoulder.

“I think it’s best if we take a break for now maybe later in life will work out a little better.”

I’m not sure what that means, but I thought about this idea intensely today. What are the reasons why we’d work later in life? What is it that you think I have to go through and learn? The specifics. What is it that you have to go through in order for this to be a good fit? I wish that you would have the ability to open up and talk about this. It’s not been fair. From the very beginning I’ve been very honest with you and have tried to diminish any concern you had about me. I wish you would find it in yourself to express your feelings for me in this aspect. What’s missing and why not now?

There are things I always wanted in life. I’ve always wanted a great love of my life. I have wanted children for sure, but for some reason, I’ve always had a feeling that I won’t be granted children of my own. I have always had this feeling growing up. As long as I can remember I’ve always been told I’d be a great mother, and I know I would be. I always thought that life would be about having a happy career, having a loving husband and beautiful children that we proudly raise. I did want these things, but for the past year I’ve been floating around and this idea just doesn’t make sense all the time. I don’t think from the beginning with you that I was adamant about children. I don’t think once I said I had to have children to you, and this is where I lead up into what I have to say.

For some reason, even when I tell you that there are things I’m willing to put aside for you, you think I am lying. You think there’s something wrong with this and there’s not. I’m not lying and I’m not telling a story to reel you in. I just truly believe that it’s too soon to believe that you don’t want children with someone you love down the road. You don’t know what being in love will do to you when it comes to children. You don’t know what life will do to you and the person you just fall for. It’s okay to want different things. It’s okay to want one thing before you meet someone and then change a little because they influence. I’ve done this. It’s okay to love someone and budge a little on your own beliefs. That’s love and how the world moves. That’s how I work, that’s how I move, and I would never resent you for it. I also feel that if we had moved forward I wouldn’t pressure you into this. I think I’d always be okay with just having you. That isn’t a lot of pressure...and that is my truth. As long as I got you I’d be fine. 

I’ve thought very deeply and very far about this. I wish you genuinely understood. I haven’t said a whole lot about your adoption, your family, the twins, and their mom. I really believe these things play a role in how you look at your future and your now. I’ve wanted to talk to you and be there for you as you rummage through these things. I’ve never pressured you into seeing someone about them because it’s never been my place, but if it was, I pray you see someone. I really think you have a lot about your past that needs to be unpacked and you won’t be completely ready for anyone until you do. You cried with me the first night we met. You told me you didn’t imagine your life the way that it is. I will never forget that. You also told me once that you didn’t think you would ever be good enough for me, and I wanted to know why this was. Are these things that you’ve believed and things you’ve based your reasoning on? I wish I could be present in your life to just be there for you. 

Earlier today my cousin in Dallas called me to see how I was. She never does this, but we stayed on the phone for over an hour talking to me about us. She asked how we were doing. This is my cousin that married a black man. I went to her for advice when we first started talking because I remember I wasn’t sure what to do with how I felt about you. I felt like I was doing something that wasn’t smart (because of my family) and then got to a point where it didn’t phase me at all because I was so into you. I thought about how maybe this was a struggle I didn’t need, but then asked myself if it really was a struggle. It opened my eyes to a different way of thinking and made me realize that there was nothing wrong with liking you and I felt how I felt because we are just two people. We aren’t anything else, just people dealing with other people’s damned opinions on race. With us, I don’t see race at all...it was something new spending time and being with you. And it’s something that doesn’t even matter to me. She struggled with this guy for a while because he didn’t feel deserving of love. He didn’t want to risk her being disowned by her family because of the race card. He didn’t feel like he could handle what she brought to the table because of an age gap and her having child. She explained to him that she didn’t care about being disowned and that she loved him. She felt very much the way I feel about you. Where you know how someone makes you feel and even when they close off you know there’s more worth waiting for. She told me it was nearly the same for her and Kyle. Initially, he wasn’t willing. He even told her when he walked away “I tried to move on and be without you. It didn’t make sense for me to do so. It could have been easy for me to find a woman that didn’t have children, didn’t want children, and that was my age, but that’s not fair.” Through time and space he realized that she was the only one for him...and even though it was very hard at the beginning they are madly in love now and have each other. The family accepts him whole heartedly and they have a wonderful marriage. She told me she prays for you because she feels that you are so similar to her husband. There is a lot that’s in the past that makes way to the now and it’s not fair for you to be this way with yourself. 

My cousin left me on this note and it’s biblical. She said “God made Eve from the rib of Adam. There is a man out there missing his rib, the only woman that is his rib.” How can we not believe that other people don’t complete us in some way or another? It’s okay to understand and not need someone to complete you, but in reality, the person you end up with has got to make you better in some way or else you’re not going to want them around. There is only one you and only one me. You can argue that there are people out there that want the same things we do and that we don’t want to sacrifice for one another. But that’s not fair. We could make is so easy by forgetting each other and moving on, but that’s not right either. There’s only one you, there’s only one me. 

I realize I could be talking out of my ass. I do. But I’ll continue. 

I can’t imagine someone else with you. I hate the idea. I can’t know what’s going on with you because it hurts too much. But, like anything else what is meant to be will be. I’ll accept this and pray about it. 

I want you to know that you deserve a great love. You deserve someone to care about you so much that they want you to be okay every second of the day. You deserve happiness. You deserve every single one of your desires in life to be fulfilled. You deserve to travel the world. You deserve to be kissed at night and loved. You have deserved a lot of things in life that I know you didn’t get. I know from my side that is so much easier for me to say because I will never understand what you’ve been through. However, I know the kind of person you are. I see through you. 

And here’s the last piece I have to say. I’d like the think you struggled with the idea of us for a while in good reason. I fell for you because you’ve challenged me from the beginning. I loved our conversations the first night we met. I loved the way you looked at me. I loved the detail in things you did. I loved the way I felt that night with you. I felt safe and understood for just a while. I wanted it to continue. You have a charisma to you that I find so attractive. Your wit and cleverness kills me. When you care, I know you really care. You pay attention to details. You practice self awareness. The way you are with boys melts my heart. Although I think there is a huge aspect of understanding each other’s core that was missing from this relationship, I really know I’ve yearned for the potential of you all this time. I yearn for deep talks that never happened, and conversations about the future. I miss holding and being held by you. I miss your kisses and looking into your eyes. During those moments is when I felt that you cared. My hands on your your neck and holding your face. Back rubs to sleep and you asking if I’m okay in the night. Sex...I miss everything about it. I really could go on. 

I think I’ll always hold out for you, Michael. I’ll leave you to figure it out and see what later in life brings. I hope that it brings us together in a better time, but I’ll have to figure out how to carry on. That’s the worst part. I love you. 

[itisjustmeandmyimagination]

I Know I’m Not The Only One - Reece Bibby imagine

A/N: This imagine was requested by @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh . Thank you so much for that! I tried my best to fulfil your request as good as possible, so I really hope you’ll like it, and happy birthday ;)

Request: Can I have one with Reece from NHC? I’d like it to be based on Sam Smith’s “I’m Not The Only One”.

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Y/N’s POV

At first I was still denying it. But when all the puzzle pieces started to fall into place, I was forced to look in the eye of my worst enemy: the truth.

I first felt something was off a couple of months ago. Reece and I had been together for about a year and were still madly in love. Or at least I was. He had been on tour for a couple of weeks and when he came back, he didn’t seem as excited to see me as I was to see him. I shrugged it off and told myself he was just tired. I should’ve known better back then, but I was blind. Blindly in love.

In the first couple of days he was back, I barely heard from him. “He’s probably just exhausted” I kept telling myself. He’d send me short texts and only one ‘x’ instead of three, and when I asked to meet up, he’d simply dodge the question. A week after we had last seen each other he finally suggested to meet himself, something that would normally not even take him a day. I first thought he was going to break up with me, but when everything went back to normal on that date, I stopped worrying. What a stupid thing to do.

Even though we had a lot of fun that day, there was something about him that just wasn’t the same. His hugs weren’t as long anymore, his kisses not as soft. He didn’t touch me anymore like he used to, as if he was afraid to do wrong. I should’ve seen the signs, but I was too madly in love to notice.

It wasn’t until a couple of days ago that I started to become suspicious. We were at my place watching a movie, when he all of a sudden got a phone call. He ran out of my bedroom to take it, and curious as I was, I followed him on my tiptoes. “I told you not to call me” he said. Although the undertone in his voice was rather annoyed, I couldn’t help but worry. That was when I realized that something was indeed wrong, but I waved it away. He would never do that… Yeah right. All I did that day was go sit back on my bed and pretend like I was there all the time. He had no clue I overheard him.

The first thing my best friend said when I told her was “He’s cheating on you” in those exact words. Stupid as I was, I denied it. “I’m 100% positive about it, Y/N. Reece isn’t loyal, and I’m going to prove it.” She didn’t lie. She started searching and found what she was looking for.

And now… now I’m sitting here in a chair in Reece’s living room, waiting for him to come home. On the screen of my laptop shine four pictures of him kissing, hugging and leaving a hotel with another girl in his arms. They had been all over twitter, facebook, Instagram,… you name it. But this girl had been too blind to see. I couldn’t help but blink away a tear that had been flirting with the corner of my eye.

A key turns in the lock of his front door. Guitar in his hand, he walks in, surprised to see me sitting in his favourite armchair.

“Hey, baby, what are you doing here?” He has a soft smile on his lips. I’d almost believe he was happy to see me.

“How long has this been going on for?” I say as I turn the laptop and put it on the coffee table in front of me, the screen now facing Reece. The smile on his lips quickly fades and he swallows.

“That’s not me.” He tries.

“Oh cut it, Reece! That is obviously you, you practically look into the camera!” He jumps to my sudden outburst. I am no longer able to hold my tears back. “When were you planning on telling me?” My voice cracks as I speak the last few words.

“Y/N, babe, I swear…” He tries grabbing my hand, but I quickly pull it away.

“What, Reece?! That it was just an accident? That your lips accidentally crashed onto hers?” It is silent for a moment. “You should’ve just told me, Reece. That you were tired of me, that you’d rather be with someone else than me. I would’ve accepted it. It would’ve hurt, but far less than this. I can’t believe you did this to me. I actually can’t believe that I thought you loved me.” The tears are floating over my cheeks and I let out a loud sob.

“I do, Y/N, I do love you…”

“Bullshit! You don’t go mess around with someone else behind the back of someone you love. You just don’t. I’m done with you. I’m done.” I said as I rip off the necklace that he gave me right before he left on tour, a small heart with his initials carved in it. “Here, give it to your new girl.”

“Y/N, please, don’t go.”

“Shut up. You’ve done enough. Should’ve thought twice before you cheated on me.” I walk past him and make my way to the door, until his hand grabs my wrist firmly, making it impossible for me to leave.

“Please, give me a chance to explain.” His voice cracks, just like mine did a few minutes before. I turn around to face him, only now noticing the tears in his eyes. Was he actually showing regret?

“Okay, I admit. Yes, I cheated on you. But I swear, I never meant to. It was just…” He sighs deeply, swallowing away more tears. “She was there and you weren’t. I hadn’t seen you in two weeks and I just missed you so much. We went from being together every day to not being together at all, and I was having trouble adjusting to that. Our show that night didn’t go very well and I couldn’t reach you. I really needed the affection and she was there and you weren’t. And I know damn well that what I did was extremely wrong and I swear to God, it will never happen again. I have been feeling guilty ever since and I’m not proud of myself. I don’t even know why I did it, I don’t even know who I am anymore. The guy you see right there on those pictures is not the Reece Bibby you have known all this time. I regret everything that happened that night, everything. That is also the reason why I haven’t been hugging you so tight anymore or kissing you so passionate. I just couldn’t because I felt guilty and disgusted by myself. You’re such a wonderful girl and don’t deserve to be treated like that. I never meant to hurt you and I don’t want to lose you either. You’re the only one I love and that will never change. Can you please forgive me?”

I am speechless after hearing those words, letting every bit sink in. He does regret what he did. I can tell by staring into those green eyes. Regret and guilt are there to read and the tears rolling over his cheeks make these feelings even stronger. I’m hurt, yet believe him, somehow still carrying some doubts.

“Then why does she still call you? I overheard you on the phone the other day.”

“I specifically told her when the night came to an end that she should never call me. I don’t even know how she got my number. Somehow she found it and she kept calling me, but that is over, as from today. I got a new number this morning. I never want to hear or see her again, because she means absolutely nothing to me. You’re the only one for me, Y/N.”

And those last few words make me crash into his arms. I feel his strong arms warming me in an embrace and for the first time in weeks it feels like the old Reece again. For the first time in weeks I feel like we are back in the days before he went on tour. Yes, he has cheated on me, but he truly regrets it. I don’t know for sure if I will ever be able to fully trust him again, but what I do know, was that I forgive him.

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A/N: There it is, my first request fulfilled! I really enjoyed writing this, so feel free to send in more requests. I’d love to write them! Hopefully I was able to fulfil this request properly, so please let me know below in the comments. I hope you liked it :D