#I can’t tell you what a horrible noise I made reading this

[userlando]

Babe not your husband hanging out its your husband being hung

-sub scorpio

THIS IS SO FUNNY SHUT UP 😭😭😭

[froggiewrites]

i read every single one of your works in one sitting and oh my god. your mind. your words. you're easily one of the best writers on this hellsite. it should be a crime you don't have more followers because your writing is criminally underrated

i saw you were taking requests and i don't want anything too specific but there isn't that much ace content and i really miss my man. a bit of hurt/comfort bc i love pain and then kissing it better

i was thinking something along the line of your Follow Through work (sorry if it feels repetitive but i live for this type ace content) but really I'll be happy with whatever you put out just have fun and go to town with it <3

Ahhh thank you so much this is so sweet 😭😭 I only started posting really recently so receiving sweet messages like this feels so unreal honestly, it just makes my heart so full. I loved writing this, I always love writing sweet stuff for Ace, so thank you for giving me an excuse to write something in this vein again! I hope you like it 💙

Blinders On

Pairing: Ace x Reader

SFW

Summary: You're in love with Ace. Everybody seems to know this but him. Warnings: Fluff, Miscommunication, A Little Self Loathing, Very Little Hurt/Lots of Comfort Word Count: 2.2k

You really can’t tell if Ace is politely rejecting you, or if he simply doesn’t understand your advances. You’re being terribly obvious, enough so that the rest of the ship (and probably the entire rest of the fleet) are well aware, teasing you for it at any given opportunity. If you have to hear one more man making obnoxious smooching noises whenever you two walk past you’re going to throttle someone.

“It’s honestly getting pathetic at this point.”

“Yeah, it hurts to see someone put their pride on the line like this with no reward in sight. Bring a tear to my eye, really.”

Their voices are teasing, not cruel, but your shoulders tense anyway. You hate feeling pathetic. If he just turned you down, you would be more than willing to just lick your wounds and move on, no matter how hard it hurt. But he never did. He never pulled away, or pushed you further from him. He just never pulled you closer, either. You were left in limbo, treading the line between friend and lover, never crossing to either side.

“What’s got you frowning like that?” You jump when you feel two fingers at the edges of your lips, gently forcing them into a smile. Ace is in front of you, nearly nose to nose, and you can see the candlelight dancing in his eyes and painting his cheeks a gentle orange. He looks beautiful, as always, as he grins at you. “That’s better. Now you try again without my help.”

You force your mouth into a smile despite yourself.

“There we go.” He laughs quietly, and you can feel his warm breath on your face. He’s horribly, unbearably close, close enough that you would barely have to move to feel his lips against yours. The urge is overwhelming, but you can’t let yourself, so you scoot back slightly, smile growing a bit shakier.

He frowns a bit, something unnamed flashing in his eyes, before he leans a little further back as well. “Care to share what made you so upset? You were glaring a hole into the table.”

“Oh it’s…it’s nothing big. Don’t worry about it.” You frankly would rather throw yourself overboard than look Ace in the eye that you were sitting here pathetically pining over him.

He frowns deeper. “You know you can always share with me, right? I’m a good listener, I swear.” A mocking laugh explodes behind him from a nearby eavesdropper, and he leans forward before muttering, “I’m good at listening to you, at least.”

Your cheeks heat. You don’t want to embarrass yourself like this, but he’s looking at you with those sweet puppy dog eyes, and maybe this could be a chance for you to finally figure out how he feels about you. “Well…it’s just…” your eyes slide to the several crewmates visibly listening in. “Can we talk in private?”

“Of course!” He’s on his feet instantly, offering you his hand to help you up. He pulls you up as though you weigh nothing, and while that makes your stomach flutter a bit, it’s nothing compared to the way he keeps a hold on your hand while leading you away. You can feel the heat radiating from him, every callus on his hand, the way his fingers lightly rub against the back of your hand. It takes all of your self control not to melt.

He leads you to his room, leading to wolf whistles from some passersby, and you internally groan at all of the comments you’re going to get after this. But he gently sets you on his bed before kicking off his boots and sitting next to you, on his knees, looking at you expectantly. “Is this good?”

“Yeah, thanks, Ace.” He gives a blinding smile at that, terribly pleased to have helped. “So I’ve been dealing with…an issue, lately.”

He nods, urging you onward.

“So there’s this guy…”

He winces, the expression so quick you almost miss it. 

“And I’ve been trying to figure out how he feels about me.” You curl in on yourself a little tighter. “But I genuinely can’t tell if he’s noticed how I feel and he just doesn’t…feel the same, or if he somehow doesn’t know.” This is terrifying, laying it all bare, but if it leaves a chance for something else, something better, isn’t it worth it to be brave?

But Ace remains silent. His face is frozen halfway between shock and despair, staring at you with wide eyes. You blink at him, confused, and gently reach forward to take his hand. “Ace?”

He flinches when you touch him. “Ah! Um, sorry. Advice. You wanted advice.”

“If you’re willing? You don’t have to.”

“No, I–I can.” He seems flustered, but you can’t really tell which part of this shook him. You try to brace yourself for oncoming rejection, just in case. “...You really don’t know if he feels the same?”

“I have absolutely no idea. And nobody else I’ve asked does, either.”

Another flash of hurt, the frown of a kicked puppy. “You went to other people before me?”

You rush to correct. “They came to me. I think they felt bad for me, honestly. The entire ship has noticed and they can’t tell if he likes me either, and a lot of people have been making fun of me about it. So a few people asked me if I was alright.”

He furrows his brow. “People have been making fun of you? Who?”

“Almost everyone, really. You didn’t notice?”

“No, I didn’t.” His expression shifts to something close to guilt. “How long has this been going on?”

“About…a year or so?”

“You only joined the crew a little more than a year ago.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” You can’t keep the exhaustion from your tone. You want to say it hasn’t taken a toll on you, that you let it roll off your back, but the weight has been resting on your shoulders, dragging you further and further down. It’s only a matter of time before you snap entirely. “It’s…it’s a bit much, sometimes. But the only way to get them to stop is to stop trying to get him to notice me, and if I stop that he never will. And I think he’s worth all of it, really.”

“Hm. I’m…sure he is.” You can hear the sting in his voice, like cold water on an open wound. “He has to be, for you to want him so badly.”

“He’s the best man I’ve ever met.” You can’t keep the affection from your voice, or the warmth from your cheeks as you shyly peer at Ace through your lashes. You can’t place the faraway look in his eyes, hazy and unfocused.

“He better be.” He clenches his jaw briefly before relaxing it, closing his eyes and shutting you out. You see his fingers digging into his thighs as he turns away from you and takes a deep breath. “You should just tell him, I’m sure he’ll reciprocate. He’d be an idiot if he didn’t.” His voice is strained, sounding like there’s an unshakable weight on his chest.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry about it. You should tell that bastard how you feel.”

“Bastard?”

You can see every muscle in his back tense as he continues to face away from you. “Did I say bastard? I meant lucky bastard.”

“It…doesn’t sound like you did.”

“How could he be anything less than lucky, to have someone like you?”

He really isn’t getting it. Even now, he just doesn’t fucking get it. “Are you mad at me, Ace? Or him, I guess?”

“I’m not mad,” he snaps, unconvincingly. “I’m not…I’m not upset. It would be ridiculous for me to be upset, I have no reason to be. Not with you, or with whoever it is. That would be silly. And I’m not. Silly.”

“...Right.”

Are you going to have to spell this out for him?

“And since I’m so definitely not-at-all mad, can I know who it is? So I know who to congratulate later.”

You sigh. “You really have no idea?”

“...I think I might have one.”

You lean forward a bit, trying to angle around him to look him in the eye, but you accidentally brush your chest with his back and he jumps, scrambling away before turning around to face you. “Who do you think it is, Ace?”

“Is it Marco?”

What?

“What?”

“Is it…is it not Marco?” He furrows his brow.

“I–no. It’s not Marco.”

“Thatch then?”

“No! Oh my god.”

“Izou? Or–”

“It’s you, Ace!”

His eyes go wide and he freezes. “It’s…me?”

“Yes.”

He absolutely lights up like a firework with the biggest, most sincere grin you’ve ever seen. “It’s me?” He leans forward, close enough that you can see every fleck of color in his dark eyes. “It’s me? Really? You mean it?”

“Who else could it possibly be?” You can’t keep the hint of laughter out of your voice at the idea you could love anybody but Ace, as though any man you had ever met could beat him for best. 

Before you know it, his arms are around you, his comforting weight pressing you into the bed beneath you. “I didn’t think it could ever be me.”

Your arms wrap around him in turn, pulling his head into your neck as he presses his nose into you. “Why couldn’t it be you? You’re amazing, Ace.”

“I can’t believe you believe that.” His voice is soft as he pulls himself apart for a second, allows himself to fall into your embrace and forget the world. “I didn’t think you could want me. I already didn’t get how you could like me, let alone more. You’re so…everything and I’m so…me.”

“I don’t think there’s anything in the world better to be than you.”

There’s a wetness pressing into your neck, but you don’t comment. “No one has ever said that to me before. I don’t…I don’t understand how I tricked you, but–”

“Portgas D Ace. You didn’t trick me. I just saw you for who you were, and I loved you because of it. Not in spite of it, not because I somehow didn’t see it. Because you’re you, and I don’t know what could be better than that.”

“Almost anything else?” He mutters it weakly. “I really hoped you would…would think about me like I think about you. I just didn’t think it was possible. Was it really that obvious?”

“Every single person on this ship knew before you did. Someone was making fun of me for it at breakfast, directly in front of you, and you still didn’t notice. It was really just because you didn’t think I could like you?”

“It genuinely didn’t seem like a possibility to me. I figured I was just going to be pining after you for the rest of my life, y’know? Have to see you find someone else as wonderful as you are and run off together, and pretend I was happy for you. Which I sort of would be, I guess. I want you to be happy. And I didn’t think I could do that for you.” He pulls out of your neck, and you can see his eyes are glistening, a few stray tears making their way down his freckled cheeks. He looks you in the eye, while his own filled with a strange mix of affection and self loathing. “Still don’t, really. But I’ll try.”

You cup his cheeks in your hands, gently brushing away his tears. “No one else could make me happier than you, Ace. I know that for sure. You are the kindest, brightest, most wonderful man I know. You have no idea how amazing you are, how you inspire the people around you. You’re so loved, and it’s not because you managed to pull the wool over everybody’s eyes, or anything silly like that. It’s because you deserve it.” You lean up, lips brushing softly against his before you pull back again to speak. His lips chase yours, making you giggle. “You deserve every bit of it, Ace. And if you don’t believe me I’ll just have to show you. Every day, until it sticks.”

“And if it does?” His voice is nothing but a whisper as he stares at you like you’re the greatest treasure on the seas. “Will you stop if it sticks?”

“No way in hell. I’ll double down. Triple down, even.”

He gives you a shy grin. “Guess I’ll have to figure out the truth pretty fast, then. I’d like to see what double this looks like.

“I guess you will.”

The next kiss takes your breath away. It makes the teasing you and Ace are sure to receive when you leave the cabin worth it a million times over. But right now there isn’t a crew jeering at you. The only thing in the world right now is Ace, on top of you, his warmth enveloping you as he kisses you like he’s been waiting a thousand years to do it.

[mochiwrites]

“G!” Scar grins as he sees the other approaching his train. He jumps down the ladder, landing with wobbly feet as he makes contact with the ground. “Just the birdie I was looking for!”

Grian lifts a brow, “Oh? What a coincidence. I was looking for you as well.” His wings flutter and twitch in response, folding neatly against his back. “Got any diamonds to spare?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve run out of diamonds again,” Scar tuts as he shakes his head in disapproval. Grian grimaces in answer, earning a disappointed sigh from the zoo keeper. “For shame, sir!”

“Just be happy I’m not skimming from the top of Ore Mountain again.” Grian squints at him, crossing his arms over his chest. “Can I borrow a few or what?”

Scar makes a show of thinking about it, dramatizing his hum and tapping his chin. “You happen to have amayzin’ timing, considering I had something to give you.”

“Oh?” Grian tilts his head, looking at the other with curiosity. “Do I get the diamonds too?”

“Oh yes, of course, of course!” Scar joyfully nods, his warm smile not doing a single thing to cover up his salesman voice (as Grian has so lovingly dubbed it). “This would be an exchange of goods, after all! It’s only fair you’re compensated for your time!”

Grian stares at him for a second, eyes just shy of a squint. He doesn’t think there’s really an exchange going on, considering he’s not giving Scar anything in return; besides his presence, that is. He could point out to Scar that this isn’t an equal trade (barely a trade at all, really), but where would the fun in that be? He kind of wants to see where Scar is going with this.

Plus if he really feels bad about whatever this is, Grian can always find some way to repay Scar later.

Wings fluttering against his back, he shrugs. “Okay.”

“Great!” Scar beams at him, clapping his hands together. “Alright, I need you to stay perfectly still, no twitching a single feather, mister! Oh, and close your eyes too!” he directs the avian, earning an odd look from Grian.

“O…kay..?” Doing as told, Grian closes his eyes, curious. It’s definitely some surprise Scar has for him. But what is it? And why? He hasn’t missed any birthdays or anniversaries, has he? Maybe he can take a little peek… Scar never said anything about keeping his Watcher Eyes closed.

As if reading his thoughts, he hears Scar exclaim, “Yes that includes your funky magic eyeballs too, you pesky bird!”

Drat.

Grian sighs, resolving himself to the agony of waiting patiently. How horrible. Scar should feel terrible for making him wait like this. The build up is killing him! He’s eager with anticipation!

His breath stills as he feels Scar’s presence get closer to him. Grian can feel the warmth of his exhales as he releases them, all gentle and soft. Scar makes a few concentrated noises, and Grian can imagine the way his tongue pokes out from his mouth just slightly. He waits before feeling something being carefully set on his head, gentle palms combing through his hair. The feeling is followed by soft lips against his nose, as well as a little laugh as he scrunches his face.

“Okay, now open your eyes!”

Grian squints against the sunlight as his eyes open again, having to blink a few times before he looks at Scar in front of him. It takes him a second to notice anything different, setting a hand on top of his hair as he looks at the zoo keeper. He feels soft petals under his fingers, and finds that Scar has a crown made of sunflowers nestled in his hair. “Flower crowns?” he asks, confused.

“I made us matching ones!” Scar exclaims, his smile growing impossibly larger. “See I got the idea from Pearl after talking with her about doing a gift shop for the zoo—because you can’t have a zoo and no gift shop, that’s criminal!— and then bayum, it hit me! I’ll sell flower crowns as one of the items since I’ve got sniffers!” He gestures with his hands as he speaks, and Grian is captured by every word from the brilliant man. “I don’t even have a single enclosure of the zoo done yet but oh Grian I got so inspired, I had to do something with the idea!”

Grian can’t help his fond look as he sets a hand on his hip. “So you made some flower crowns?”

Scar eagerly nods, “Yup! I made them with you in mind so… who better to share the first try with than my pretty bird?”

The feathers on Grian’s wings fluff up at that. “You’ve got to be the biggest sap I know,” he sighs, although he finds the gesture incredibly sweet. “Though I have to ask, how is this an exchange? I’m not giving you anything.”

“Sure you are,” Scar argues, turning to set down his ender chest. “I get customer feedback and a free excuse to see you smile!” He looks at Grian, pleased, before ducking down to dig into his ender chest.

Grian decides right then and there that he’s going to kiss this man silly. Then he’s going to properly repay him.

(And if Grian leaves him a small arrangement of flowers on top of the shulker box of sniffer eggs? Well. Scar knows exactly who they’re from.)

[digital-domain]

Escape - Part 2 to Per This Agreement

Alastor x Reader // word count 3.2k

In which your worst fear returns, and nothing about it (about him) is as you remembered

Tags/Warnings: noncon, blowjob, come swallowing, mention of substance use, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms™️, Alastor poorly suppressing a mental breakdown, not a good ending for either party, angst with a side of smut

A/N: I see this happening before/during whatever the fuck happened seven years ago. Is it canon compliant? Only time will tell.

As always - 18+, read the tags, if you don’t like the tags then don’t go below the cut (or into my inbox). Thank you and enjoy.

It’s been almost a year. That all-consuming paranoia that haunted you in the aftermath still lingers. But it’s not as sharp as it once was. It even disappears sometimes, when you keep yourself busy, when you give yourself other things to think about (there are other ways to tune it out as well, but they don’t last, and leave you more of a wreck than you started). So you stay moving. Stay distracted. And the results? You have a job, a dingy apartment, a scattered collection of hobbies, and people who you might consider friends if you weren’t scared of bringing them in close. It’s enough to keep the worst of your thoughts at bay. Enough to keep you sane.

And yet, you know that he is coming back. He made it clear, on that horrible day, that your existence is not your own. That you will see him again. You’ve pictured this reunion many times - it pops into your head, unwanted, at the worst possible moments. When you’re alone, when it’s dark, when you’re trying to sleep. Even after you fall asleep. Some of your nightmares are so vivid that you swear you can feel that chain around your neck, even once you wake up gasping for air. Sometimes, after a string of bad nights, staying busy isn’t enough, and you look for other ways out. If you drink enough, you don’t dream. And of course, you don’t dream if you don’t sleep and all.

You slept well last night, though. It’s been weeks since the last broadcast, and for once, your sleeping mind has given you a reprieve from its horrors. The day was good, too. Full of the pleasant boringness of everyday existence, the empty chatter that almost makes you feel at peace. You went to work, and did not jump at any unexplained noises. You ate your lunch, and did not feel the urge to vomit at any point after. You walked home, and did not stop to buy the sort of poison that would help you forget. You turned corners, and did not fear what you might see when you did. You ascended the stairs of your apartment building, and unlocked your door, and thought of nothing but mundane things the entire time. It was an uneventful day.

It was too good to last. 

You step into your apartment, and immediately, something feels wrong. You can’t place it. There are no flickering lights, no ominous shadows on the wall, no faint, distorted voices echoing from places you can’t see. And yet, the feeling remains. You proceed cautiously through your home, and slowly open the door of your bedroom. Step inside.

And freeze. 

Alastor is standing motionless in the middle of the room, like he’s been staring at your door for hours, waiting for you to emerge. 

Running would be so pointless that it doesn’t even occur to you. In fact, absolutely nothing occurs to you for some time. For you to have any thoughts, you’d first have to admit that this was real.

His eyes register your appearance, but he doesn’t move or speak. Not yet. Your mind slows down - or perhaps time slows down, to give you a chance to see, to understand anything beyond your initial horror. And you realize, after your thoughts finally catch up with your eyes, that nothing is as you remembered. 

He looks different. He is different, in every conceivable way.

You remember him standing straight. Even when he bent down, his spine was rigid. Now, he is folded in on himself, like a marionette with half its strings cut. His chest visibly rises and falls. His ears are pressed back against his head. His hair is frayed at the ends, individual strands escaping his control, pressing out in every direction. He is still grinning, but it’s not cruel, or confident. In fact, it looks like it might slip off at any moment. And his eyes…

They’re wide. Expressive, a far cry from the sadistic calculation that had burned in them a year ago. In all the times you imagined this moment, you never imagined him like this. You don’t think you could have conjured such a desperate expression in your imagination, even if you’d tried. Something is wrong, and not in the way you expected.

Even the place where he’s standing is wrong. In your nightmares, he always appeared over your bed when you were sleeping, or materialized in your desk chair, his boots kicked up at the corner, a menacing grin pasted to his face. And he always had something to say. But here, in what is unfortunately your real, waking life, his silence stretches on, until it’s too much for you to bear.

“What do you want?” You hate the way these words curdle in your mouth, fall thickly from your tongue. You shouldn’t have to ask. In your dreams, he was always very clear about what he wanted. Revenge for your insolence, in one way or another. On the good nights, your soul is ripped at its seams, and you scream for all of hell to hear. On the bad nights, you’re torn apart in a different way, and no one hears you except for him.

He doesn’t answer you. Not immediately. Just inhales deeply, presses his clenched fists to his side. For no reason that you can think of, you take a step forward - the door slams shut behind you, and you hear the click of a key in the lock. You don’t bother turning around, or checking your pockets for your own key. Somehow, you already know that they’ll be empty. 

One of his hands rises into the space between you. His fist falls open, palm raised to the ceiling. It curls shut. 

This is exactly as you remember.

It plays out like your nightmares, in perfect detail. The golden chain unfurls, you take one last free breath before the collar snaps tight around your neck, and you lock eyes with him as your face falls. But you don’t struggle, this time. And he doesn’t move more than he has to. He drops his gaze, stares down the length of the chain, holds its end limply in his loose fist. 

It shakes and bends, capturing the small spasms of his hand. “I didn’t think”-

Your breath catches in your throat, at the same moment he cuts himself off. He sounds different. There is no filter over his voice, nothing for it to hide behind. 

“I didn’t think I’d ever”- Again, he stops. He seems to become aware that he’s speaking only once the words have left his mouth. “A year ago…I didn’t intend on following through”-

You wait. He’s not drawing this out on purpose. You almost wish that he was. That would make sense. Taunts would make sense. Arrogance, deceit - those would make sense. This does not make sense. This is not real.

He starts again, and this time, it sticks. “I’m suffering in ways that you couldn’t even fathom.” His eyes, dull, burned-out red craters, leave you no room to question him, although at this moment, you don’t think any kind of suffering is out of reach for you. “There’s a reason the airwaves have been so quiet for the past few weeks. This… thing that’s hanging over me…” His eyes narrow, fingertips scratch against his covered palm. “It’s stripping the pleasure out of everything.” Finally, he looks at you. Seeing your face seems to strengthen his resolve - he grips the slack of the chain, slowly wraps it around his hand. “And I’m sure you know…despair makes us resort to strange things, just to feel alive.”

You do know. And you want to scream that you know because of him. But for many reasons, your mouth stays shut. He already knows everything that you’re thinking. Everything you fear. He’s thinking about it, too.

“I can’t escape. But I can forget, if only for a moment. And I suppose that’s a form of escape in itself.” He tilts his head. “Isn’t it?” His gaze is fixed on the chain link protruding from his fist. Some battle rages in his head, with no sign of abating. 

The doorknob is close to your hand. So close that you’re beginning to think that fleeing is an option for you, after all. The Alastor you saw in your nightmares would never have permitted it - but he has little in common with the man standing before you. You eye the golden links flowing out from his hand. If you pull hard enough to make him let go, will the whole thing disappear? You don’t think it would take much to catch him off guard. Not in his current state.

Your stomach drops as his eyes flick upwards, catch you in the act.

“Oh…” To your horror, his ears perk up, eyes narrow in an all-too-familiar way. “No. I’m not that far gone.”

You stop, and wish you could force yourself to keep moving, just enough to cover your ears. The static is back in his voice, biting into you. You think he’s angry, like he was the time before. Or at the very least, he wants to be angry. 

Your mind escapes of its own accord. You see yourself, almost a year ago, in the wake of your terrible mistake. Wiping your tears away, dressing in the finest clothes you owned, marching into the street. Buying two things at a nearby secondhand shop: a radio, abandoned and cheap because it refused to turn off, and a baseball bat. It was a stupid idea, one that sucked up your money and left you sitting on your kitchen floor in a sea of broken metal parts, feeling even more hopeless than you did before.

But it felt good, while it lasted. Better than you’d felt in a long time. It gave you something to do with your misery, other than let it tear you apart. And for a few seconds of blissful destruction, your mind went entirely quiet. 

His voice drags you back to the present. “Even if you did manage to get as far as that doorknob,” he spits, “it would still be locked. I’m afraid that you’re trapped.” His grin stretches at the corners, and he bitterly laughs at some joke that you truly don’t understand. “We have that in common. But at least I still have a few places left to run.”

You don’t say a thing. Only let your hand fall from its upwards climb, back to the outside of your thigh. Limp.

“So few that I ran to you.” His lip twitches in something like disgust - whether at you, or at himself, you’re not sure. It stills quickly, and the mask of his smile hardens on his face. “Pitiful. But I can’t say that I regret it just yet. And perhaps I never will.” He clenches his fist tight around the ethereal chain, and for the first time since you set foot in your room, his eyes are alight, glowing exactly how you remember. “I certainly can’t turn back.”

Maybe this, the return of what you knew, is the only part that is real. Or maybe it’s the only part that isn’t. It goes on, either way.

A sudden tension on the chain pulls you forward, until you’re sprawled on the floor with only a vague understanding of how you got there. You look up, and see a gloved hand tugging sharply upwards. You scramble to your knees, because fighting with the metal band around your neck will result in you hideously gasping for breath until you surrender. You try to look away. To your surprise, he lets you, but you find your gaze returning to him before long. There’s no escape. He made that clear a long time ago. He can quell any struggle that you attempt, so it’s better not to struggle at all.

No way out…and yet, there is a hesitance in the way his hand leaves your face, a clumsiness in the way it falls at his waist. One last spark of uncertainty. It’s gone, after a moment - he clutches your chain harder, and quickly undoes his trousers, pulls everything down just enough to let his cock spring free. He looks at you in the moment that your stomach knots in anticipation, in the moment your face betrays your rage at being dragged down to this place. He sighs in delight, at that. But he closes his eyes as he urges you forward, as you let your tongue fall from your mouth, as you drag it up his length and close your mouth over the tip of his cock. He inhales sharply, but makes no other sound. His mouth has fallen open, revealing the sharp ends of his teeth. You wrap your hand around his shaft, meet it with your lips, stroke in time with the movement of your mouth, try to ignore the sound of his breath. You don’t know what he wants, what he likes - you’re not sure if he knows, either. All you can do is keep going, and pray that it will be over soon. Your eyes are closed. His breathing is louder than it was a moment before.

You’re not sure what, exactly, shifts. All you know is that suddenly, his hand is on the back of your head, nails sharp even through his gloves, curling through your hair and pressing into your scalp. His eyes have snapped open. They bore into you as he forces himself into your throat, as he makes you gag and sputter until you’re fighting against his hand, against the chain that pulls you tight to the base of his cock. You can’t breathe. Drool trails from the sides of your mouth, drips to the floor - and he holds you there, exhales raggedly as your struggles become increasingly desperate, until give out entirely.

There’s the clink of chain unwinding from his hand, and then the relief of being yanked back, of taking a deep breath - only for your stomach to drop again as he raises your face. You’re not sure when you started crying, but the tears are there, and he sees every one of them. Lifts a finger to wipe the freshest one away. 

His eyes are wide and shining and dark. Edging on black, the same color as the ill-fitting shadow that pulses out from behind him. He tugs at your chain, and his voice hisses out from the gap between his teeth, a low, ravenous command. “Smile.”

His finger pulls at the corner of your mouth, but you’re already obeying, pulling your lips back to show your teeth, arranging the drool-stained lower half of your face into exactly what he wants to see. His hand twitches. The shadow on the wall lets its mouth fall open. Then, his grip clamps down on your jaw, erasing your grin and forcing your lips open. He shoves into your mouth, thrusts relentlessly until all you have room for in your head is the clink of the chain by your ear, the pressure of his hand on the back of your head, and the taste of his cock on your tongue. The chain tightens, he holds you tight as you choke, his hand stiffens on your scalp - 

He gasps out an oath under his breath. His body shudders, convulses. His cock pulses into you, and his come releases into your throat, so deep that you don’t taste it. You don’t think about it. You prepare to fight for breath, once again, to be held cruelly and tightly until saliva pools in your mouth and spills from your lips. 

But you don’t have to. The moment after it happens, he’s already stepping away. Pulling in on himself, in a perfect mirror of the way you crumple to the floor beneath him. Another oath falls softly on your ears, this one the opposite of pleasure, panicked and accompanied by a different sort of shudder.

The chain disappears. You swallow hard. And with your spine curled in, with your forearms pressed to your thighs, you watch him. He dresses himself quickly, erratically, fumbling over the fasteners before stumbling back to fall onto your bed. To ruin it with the weight of his body, the curl of his fingers on your blanket. 

His breathing, unlike yours, doesn’t even out as the seconds tick by. It catches, releases, sputters. And finally, it becomes so perfectly slow and measured that you know, beyond a doubt, each inhale and exhale is a conscious act. He’s dazed, eyes lidded, his grin faint compared to moments ago. You get the odd impression that you shouldn’t be seeing him like this - that no one should.

“My mind went quiet, for a moment…” Again, he’s not really speaking to you. The static in his voice is gone. And that look on his face, the deadened eyes, the panic only betrayed in the jittering of his hands, has sprung back into place. “It wasn’t worth it.”

“No.” You’re not sure if you say it out loud, and you don’t care. Your mind detaches from your body, floats to the highest shelf in your cramped kitchen, the half-empty bottle of liquor that stands bitter and alone against the peeling paint of your wall. It’s never worth it. And yet, you know that it will be empty, before long.

He looks away from you. “There was a time…a time when I had rules...control…” 

There was a time when you had control, too. It ended when you met him, and it won’t come back. 

“Your soul…” His chest rises. Falls. Heavy. And slowly, shaking, he pulls his hands up from your bed. In one, he rests his face, the attached arm pulled close to his body, elbow pressed down into his thigh. The other hand unfurls in the empty air beside his head. From it emits a soft green light. “Have it.” The light streams towards you, connecting your body with the tips of his fingers, enveloping you with such intensity that you have to close your eyes. You gasp as it seems to pierce your heart, sending a jolt vibrating through your ribcage as it’s sucked into you, until the green glow on the other side of your eyelids has disappeared, and a strange warmth radiates inside you.

He’s let you go. You feel it, know it - but the relief does not come.

You open your eyes. He stands, turns away. Ears pushed back, fists clenched, spine rounded, moments from giving out entirely. And this is the last you see of him. He does not leave by the door. Instead, his image melts away, melds with the remnants of his shadow and retreats into some dark corner, out through whatever crevice he manages to find. 

Away from you. Away from the unswept bedroom floor that you’re curled upon, away from your eyes, which have become every bit as hollow as his own. You hate yourself for wondering what happened to him. But you hate yourself more for wondering if he’ll ever come back. Wondering what version of him you’ll see, if he does. ***

The broadcasts do not return. Not in weeks, not in months, not in years to come. But you never really stop wondering. Only pause. Only live, and escape the best you can for as long as you can manage. After enough time has gone by, you can barely make out his face in your dreams - but you always know it’s him. And they never go away.

[ruciel]

For the request can I please have Yandere Topaz, Himeko, Robin, and Jade comforting reader who has nightmare

yandere topaz is somewhat of a heavy sleeper, she works long hours, and rests for very few. but her fifth senses wake her, red alarm bells going off, her first instinct is to feel around for you in the bed. thankfully, you’re still there. but you’re quivering like a leaf. topaz feels around for you, but you don’t respond, completely still and completely silent. what’s wrong? are you okay? you’re hesitant to respond, only quietly murmuring that you had a nightmare. you come off as unbothered but topaz is unconvinced. she wraps her arms around your shoulders and pulls you in for a tight hug, patting your head gently. she’s worried for you, but doesn’t wish to pressure you into saying anything, only offering words of reassurance, i’m here to listen if you’d like. if you don’t say anything that’s fine, she’s holding you too tight to leave her grasp anyway. but if you do tell her, even if it’s just a little about the horrible dream, topaz will be happy you opened up to her. she doesn’t want to be overbearing, nor does she want to overwhelm you. it seems her pets have also sensed your distress, as you feel more and more weight get added to the already over-cushioned bed. they cuddle you, similarly like how they do with topaz, and you can’t help but reach out to feel their fur and pet them. it distracts you. you’re surprised topaz hadn’t pressed further, but realistically, you know she’s very self-aware of when to stop prying and being invasive. her presence alone is very comforting, and it even brings a smile to your face when you feel her hand find yours and give it a small squeeze.

yandere himeko stays up far later than you do. she likes to take time to unwind and relax in the evening. what better way to do that than settle in bed and read while you sleep beside her? himeko’s dim lamplight is on, and she skims the novel in her right hand as she lazily runs her hands through your hair with her left hand. a faint, almost soundless, noise comes from you. she thinks nothing of it until it happens again, this time, you twitch. her eyes drift to your figure, setting her book down, not caring if she loses her place as you stir even more. himeko places a tender hand on your shoulder, shaking you. she frowns after seeing tears already beginning to form in your closed eyes, this time, she calls your name. slowly, you wake up, eyes bleary as you avert your eyes from the light coming from the bedside table. you open your mouth to say something, but she softly shushes you, shh, it’s alright dear. she wipes your tears away, holding the side of your face, all the while she assures you that it was just a dream. that no one, and nothing, will ever come to harm you— that she will make sure of. himeko places a chaste kiss on the top of your forehead. you’re still shaken up, and she offers to brew you a cup of coffee. it will keep you up for awhile, but it may take your mind off things for now… if you agree, she’ll invite you into the kitchenette of the express. himeko will tell you all about the book she’s been reading over a nice cup of coffee. if you disagree, she’ll lay in bed with you for little longer. himeko will let you cry in her arms if you need to, patient as ever, you’ll likely open up to her about the nightmare, and she’ll soothe your nerves while she kisses you more.

yandere robin is very careful with you when you sleep. she spends quite a bit of time outside of the dreamscape, but you do not because you are safe and often enjoy passing time there while waiting for robin to return to penacony. for whatever reason, you seem to always have nightmares after leaving the dreamscape. she’s made her bed especially tailored to your liking, the mattress is the right amount of firm while also being comfortable. it has as many pillows as you want, varying in size, and made with your wants in mind. and the sheets and blankets are a colour chosen by none other than yourself, there are enough he to keep you happy, but not too much that they’re too heavy on you when you sleep. but robin still frets over you when you’re laying down in her bed, trying to get some sleep, and tonight is no different. as she gets into her night attire, she can’t help but noticing you squirm around under the blankets. hurriedly, yet quietly, she makes her way to the side of the bed, sitting down and leaning over your unconscious figure. robin doesn’t want to disturb you, she doesn’t like waking you up because she knows how important rest is. so she sings, chanting a sweet lullaby that she remembers fondly from her childhood. the hymn reaches you, even in your deep sleep. robin observes as your once uncomfortable expression turns calm. she wonders what you’re dreaming of now. what you see when she sings to you in your sleep. robin’s tune fades into quiet humming, and she manoeuvres under the covers to join you. she never does stop singing to you, even if it’s only a mere whisper now. robin won’t bother you about it in the morning, unless you bring it up. even if you do not know it, she still wishes to protect you in your sleep.

yandere jade recognises the sounds of your silent cries and whimpers from anywhere. even if she’s in a deep slumber, jade simply knows when you are so much as slightly unhappy. lifting the sleeping mask off of her eyes, she tilts her head and gets a good look at you. you’re shaken up, she can tell that much in her groggy state. although you don’t make your anxieties known, you’re curled up into yourself, pulled away from her with a distant look on your face. her voice startles you when she suddenly speaks up, you had thought she was still asleep, what’s wrong darling? bad dream? hesitantly nodding, she whispers a few apologies as she leans over to you and pulls you closer to her. you allow her to do as she pleases, sitting upright as she positions you to lean back against her. i have you, you’re okay. focus on your breathing. you do, calming yourself and trying to steady your breaths. what you remember from the nightmare repeats endlessly in your mind, and jade can still sense your discomfort. she asks if you want or need anything, maybe some water? it wouldn’t hurt, and though she’s displeased to be away from you, even for such a short while, jade fetches a glass of water for you, and even some snacks. by now, the two of you are well awake. you’re sorry to have woken her, but jade dismisses it. if you’re ever struggling with anything she wants you to come to her. eventually you tell her about the nightmare, she listens intently and occasionally holds your hand or rubs your arm. by the time you’re finished, you’re fatigued and become drowsy, but still apprehensive about falling back asleep. jade assures you that you will be okay, saying she’ll go back to sleep with you. but she lies, she doesn’t. jade waits for you to fall back asleep, she’s not tired anymore, and will make sure you aren’t plagued by any terrible dreams this time.

[tamurilofrivendell]

Bad Dreams | Elrond x Reader

Pairing: Elrond/You Summary: You suffer from nightmares. Elrond is there to comfort you. A/N: I didn’t do this the justice I wanted to but enjoy anyway?! Haha.

The scream ripped itself from your throat long before you even became aware that you were making any noise at all. Long before you became aware that you were even awake. Jerking upright, your breathing heaved as you struggled to regain control.

I am safe, I am safe, I am safe.

The words repeated over and over in your mind like a mantra. I am here, I am safe.

Still, the panic rippled through you, fighting for control. You didn’t always remember your dreams but you were well aware of their content. The war. The battles. The killing. The losses. The blood. So much blood. So much death. The images twisting in your subconscious even long after your conscious mind had forgotten what had plagued your dreamscape.

The door to your room flew open, sending a fresh wave of fear flowing through your body. Looking up, your panicked eyes met Lord Elrond’s. You sucked in a breath, fighting for calm, a little shaken that you’d forced the Lord of Rivendell himself to come to your chambers, probably thinking there was real danger, only to find you unable to handle a simple dream.

“Oh, dear one.” His voice was gentle and calm as ever as he crossed the space between the doorway and your bed, coming to sit carefully upon the edge. There was a brief pause where he seemed to consider what his next move should be, wondering what you would allow, but the distress on your face made his decision for him as he wrapped his arm around you, drawing you closer. There is hesitation but you soon melt against him, pressing your face to the crook of his neck. Embarrassment floods you but he doesn’t seem to mind, only gives you a comforting squeeze. His lips find your head and he presses a gentle kiss to your hair, making you nearly forget how to breathe at all.

Eventually, you are able to draw air normally again, your panic subsiding as you relax in Elrond’s embrace. His gentle fingers are running up and down your arm as he holds you to him, calming you as best he can. His mere presence is calming in general but this is a little more intense.

In the time he has been there comforting you, you have both somehow found yourselves laying back upon your bed, both of his arms now holding you to him. You don’t remember how it happened but you are suddenly aware of it with a great intensity. With a sniff, you reluctantly pull back, feeling slight shame prickling at you. “I, uh... sorry, my lord. T-thank you.”

His smile is kind as he pulls himself back up to a sitting position and reaches out, placing a gentle hand upon your face, his fingers ghosting lightly across your cheek. “There is nothing to be sorry for.” He tells you. You don’t quite believe him but you don’t contradict him either, reaching up to wipe the remnants of your tears from your face, shifting a little.

In the silence that follows, the two of you sort of just look at each other. Your expression softens and you smile at him. He smiles back, seemingly pleased.

Without another word, he rises from the bed and takes a step back towards the door. Your panic rises as you watch him go but words are stuck in your throat. He sees though. He sees when he turns at the door to bid you a good night. His serene expression falls away, replaced with obvious worry.

“Elrond....” You begin but nothing else follows, nothing else comes.

He lingers, eyes fixed on you for a long moment, before it dawns on him. You won’t say it, you can’t say it, but you don’t want to be alone. Not after such a horrible dream, not with such thoughts still lingering in your mind.

He quickly paces back across the room to the bed and sits himself carefully on the edge. “I will stay with you.” He says it as though it is his idea, as though he hadn’t just read in your face that you wished for him not to leave you. “Until you fall asleep.”

Working up the tiniest smile, you nod gratefully, moving to lay your head down on the pillow. Silence follows but when you reopen your eyes you find him looking at you. He tries to be quick about glancing away but you catch him and can’t help but smile.

“Would...” You venture, hesitating just briefly before a moment of bravery. “Would you lay with me?”

His surprise is evident on his face but he is quick to agree, offering you another kind smile as he shifts closer, moving to lie down beside you slowly as though afraid to spook you. He wraps an arm around you and holds you to him, pulling the blankets back over you both. “Sleep, my dear.” He soothes, pressing another kiss to your forehead as he watches your eyes drift closed for the last time.

He does intend to leave as soon as you are asleep, truly he does, but he can’t bring himself to move and when you finally wake in the morning, the spot where he lay was still warm, telling you that he had not long since left. Smiling, you rise to greet the day, the memory of him giving you the strength to push your horrible memories away, hope filling you for the first time in a long time.

[vilf-lover]

okay my review of kenju audio 🙂‍↕️

now- no hate. kind of. i absolutely don’t condone or encourage stealing other peoples artistic visions and ideas and creations but also i don’t want to criticize some doing something that makes them happy. you get it.

first: telepath bf comforts you

excited and scared, very scared. geordi and james aren’t exactly in the best places right about now but this is not redacted audio…….

okay….he’s australian

NO HATE TO MY AUSTRALIAN BABES I WAS JUST THROWN FOR A LOOP

i can’t really explain how i feel about this. i’m um bored.

it’s very “i’m home. you suck. what’s wrong. you suck.” *extensive sigh*

where’s the flavor 😃

it’s giving early david but like not at all

he’s like more of a walking red flag believe it or not

so i’ve found the reason we’re being comforted he says “if they’re mean to you again” we getting bullied or what

“you’re my mess” brother wrap it up im so sorry but what

“you really shouldn’t let that stuff get to you- it’s a lot of bullcrap” 😐 okay

“you need to not care as much about what people think of you” that’s enough, this is not a pep talk

“just be yourself and that’s all you can ask for” i feel like im back in middle school at the inspirational seminars

“now are you done moping. LITTLE. BABY.” yk i can’t tell if david was this bad and im just more attracted to the idea of him or if this is just. dry. AND mean.

OH MY GOD AND ITS OVER ✊🏼✊🏼✊🏼

he wasn’t even supposed to be tsundere 😢

it was just boring, that’s really all. there was no background noise, stale line reading, very very scripted vibes (yeah i know the whole thing in this genre is a script you know what i meannnn)

i can’t even muster the courage to listen to the vampire ones because i’ll fight someone if i feel even a glimpse of sam-like mannerism

second AND LAST: tsundere werewolf has shifting trouble 😀😀😀😀

now part of me was trying to work with the benefit of the doubt and not think he was copying erik. this title within itself confirmed he is indeed. i’m not excited for this one especially after the last one.

no one can recreate my milo tho so this will be interesting

first second and i’m hearing grunting and i want to turn my phone off.

“go away, can’t you see i’m busy” get milo’s words out of your mouth

WAIT HES IN THE LIVING ROOM 😰😰😰

wait okay guys i’ve made a horrible lapse in judgement. he’s not having trouble shifting. he’s having trouble *not* shifting 😮‍💨 phew thought he was copying redacted but it seems like we’re all good

he fell down the stairs because he shifted randomly 😭😭😭

damn he’s mean

oh and it’s just his leg that’s shifting

i’m gonna go to sleep and this isn’t a sleep aid

OH HE USES THE SAME GROWLING SOUND EFFECT LMFAO 🐺🐺

OH WAIT THIS IS LIKE YOU GET BITTEN AND TURN

wow vamp x werewolf lore crossover

“i pride myself on my control with my shifting” well that’s a bit of a problem now isn’t it

“god knows i wouldn’t hear the end of it from lucas and i know i would just get speeches from nate” …right right right

ohhhh and he’s the beta ☝🏼

“and don’t call me puppy” oh???? wow we’re really just collecting character traits

i had to skip through the rest fairly quickly because i simply could not

AND WE ARE DONE.

@vegafan69 my professional review done 🤓

[pas-de-duex]

Prinxiety Week 2024 Day 1: Sun/Moon

Trigger warnings: major characters death, minor mentions of violence and bears, historical inaccuracies, Remus is a donkey.

Read on ao3 here!

(The ao3 post even has a bonus prompt: Sky!)

@prinxietyweek

“Mommy, can you tell me the story about the sun and the moon again?”

A young Patton entered his mothers room. She set down her book and chuckled at her son.

“Can’t sleep again, baby?”

Patton crawled into her bed and shook his head.

“Alright, alright. I’ll tell you the story one more time. But then it’s off to your own bed for you, mister.”

Patton nodded, his toddler sized glasses almost falling off his head. His mother pulled him close to her side, and opened the story book on her nightstand.

“Once upon a time, long, long ago,

A wolf found a small boy by the side of a river. She took the boy back to her cave, and raised him as her own. She protected him from nature and predators alike; and gave him the name Roman.

As he grew up, she noticed that the boy was very, very special. He could light up any room he entered, quite literally. The boy could create light out of darkness.

When he was fully grown, he asked his wolf mother where he had come from. The wolf was saddened, knowing this day would come. She told Roman everything she knew, and even offered to take him to the place she had found him. The boy accepted, and they both set off for the river.

They arrived three days later, and the boy made a campsite for himself and his mother. That night, while they were asleep, the boy heard footsteps heading towards their camp. The boy summoned his lights, and went to confront the stranger.

‘Halt! Who goes there?’

‘My name is Virgil. I am trying to get to the city of Naichone. The gods have warned me that something horrible is about to happen.’

Virgil lowered his cloak, and Roman looked at him in awe. His wolf mother had told him stories of The Moon Goddess, who chose the most beautiful people in the land for her priestesses. The boy had no doubt that Virgil was one of those people.

He had eyes as purple as the night sky. His hair was shaggy, but not unkempt. His cloak seemed to reflect the moonlight itself.

The boy extinguished his lights and bowed before the priestess.

‘Forgive me, priestess. My name is Roman, son of Cybele the she-wolf. I was simply trying to protect myself and my mother.’

‘Arise, Roman, son of Cybele. It is you that I have been seeking. The Moon Goddess has commanded me to give you this,’

Virgil handed Roman a scroll. Roman opened it with shaky hands.

‘Mother, mother come see!’

Cybele woke to her son's cries. She examined the scroll and hung her head.

‘I will miss you, my little one.’ The wolf licked Roman’s face and went to lay back down.

‘I believe the journey can wait one more night, if you don’t mind me joining you in the tent.’ Virgil said.

The she-wolf smiled. ‘Of course not. Please, join us.’

The mother spent one final night protecting her son, as he and the priestess slept soundly in the tent.

The next morning, Virgil led Roman back to his wagon. The priestess had a small donkey, Remus, who had spent the night worrying for his master.

‘Calm, Remus. Calm. This is Roman, the one we have been waiting for.’ .”

“Hee-haw! Hee-haw!” The toddler Patton burst into giggles. The donkey noises were always his favorite part. “Keep reading, mommy! Keep reading!”

“Where was I, oh yes.

Roman and Virgil started the day's long journey towards Naichone. Along the way, they faced many dangers. Virgil had to use his magic to free them from a bottomless pit. Roman fought off an entire crowd of bears. Remus was… there.’”

Patton watched his mother skip the next several pages. He couldn’t wait until he was older and could read the story for himself! He wanted to know what Remus the donkey was doing during this journey! He yawned and drew himself closer to his mother, willing his eyes not to shut.

‘After many days and many close calls, the three adventurers made it to Naichone. Virgil paid for Remus and his wagon to be taken care of by a local innkeeper, and bid his donkey fair well. He and Roman made their way into the heart of the city, towards the palace of the king.

‘Watch out!’ Roman cried. He quickly pulled the priestess into his arms, preventing him from getting run over by some school children.

‘Thank…thank you Roman.’ The priestess blushed, then placed a quick kiss to the hero's cheek.

In all honesty, the two had grown quite fond of each other. They had only each other for company, and had found themselves enjoying each other more and more.

‘Hurry, we must get to the palace before the sun rises on Paraskevi,’ Virgil said.

Roman nodded. Virgil had explained everything to him on the first day of their adventure. The King of Naichone, a very angry man who often dressed in orange, was planning on stealing all the light from the sun, and taking the power for his own.

‘Without the sun there would be no moon, and without the sun and moon, Gaia would soon fall.’ Virgil had said.

They made it to the palace on the morning of Paraskevi. The King had already started the ceremony by the time they arrived.

‘We’re too late,’ said Virgil.

The light was beginning to fade from the sun. The world was soon plunged into eternal darkness. Virgil used the last of his magic to seal the king away in Tartarus, trapping him forever.

‘Without…without the sun, The Moon Goddess has no power, as there is no moon,’

Roman was holding Virgil in his arms.

‘So, so this is goodbye, Roman, son of Cybele the she-wolf.”

Patton’s mother skipped the next page, careful not to wake the sleeping child next to her.

“ ‘Virgil placed a kiss on his love’s lips, as if saying goodbye. But Roman would not allow it. He used his remarkable ability to create light to recharge the sun. Unfortunately, it used so much of his power that Roman had to become entrapped within the sun, forever. Virgil awoke on the steps of the palace, hearing what his love had done. He returned home to The Temple of The Moon Goddess, and wanted to devote the rest of his life to silent prayer. However, one night would change his life once again.

‘Why are you tearful, my child?’

The Moon Goddess had appeared in Virgil’s chamber.

‘Moon Goddess, I’m so glad you’re ok!’ Virgil bowed before his goddess. ‘I…I miss my love, Roman, son of Cybele the she-wolf. He gave himself up to restore sunlight to the world.’

The Moon Goddess laughed. ‘Fear not, my child. You shall be reunited with your love once again.’

The Moon Goddess patted Virgil on the head, then brought him back with her to the moon. As such, the moon reflects the sun's light, as Virgil wishes to remind us of his love’s sacrifice, and show us that his and Roman’s love will go on forever.”

Patton’s mother shut the book, kissed her son's head, and whispered, “the end.”

Cybele smiled as she removed her sons glasses, turned off her lamp, and fell asleep, grateful for her second chance at motherhood.

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie prompt: It's the dead of night and Jamie is burning with fever. It's not so bad that he has to go to the hospital but Roy is just a hair's breath away from taking him anyway. Roy's doing all he can, rubbing vapor rub on Jamie's chest, putting cold compresses on his forehead, and just assuring him. At some point Jamie is sleepy and out of it and it's like he's a little boy again and he's talking to his poster of Roy Kent. Roy doesn't even bother to keep the tears from flowing as Jamie tells him how much he loves him, how much he wishes Roy would just come out of his poster and protect him from his dad, and that they will play together one day and be the best of friends. When Jamie is more lucid he's adorably embarrassed, but Roy's having none of that, telling Jamie that it's one of the greatest honors of his life to be Jamie Tartt's man. Jamie of course says he's just as honored.

I live for fever confessions

When Jamie passed out on Roy’s couch he didn’t think much of it. Jamie had been tired all day. What Roy didn’t expect was Jamie burning with a fever.

He had dragged Jamie into bed. That was yesterday. He barely slept last night watching Jamie breath.

Jamie’s fever got worse overnight but his sister said it wasn’t something to worry about yet.

Jamie makes a noise on the bed. “Yeah Jamie?”

His eyes open blurred, seeing but not looking at Roy. “Sorry Roy, I know I should be better. Dad always said be better. Don’t get sick. Don’t be weak.”

Jamie wetly laughs, “I wish you were here, I know I’m a dumb kid and you’re a star but fuck. I wish you could tell me it’s okay. Tell me I’ll be someone someday. Tell me it’s all worth it.”

Jamie closes his eyes again, he sighs back into the pillows. “I wish you could be my friend. Wish you could be here for me. Save me from dad. Hell I wish you could love me.”

Roy watches as he slips back into sleep with tears running down his face. He doesn’t know how he was ever so horrible to Jamie at the beginning.

—

Three days later the fever breaks, Jamie refuses to look at Roy.

Roy is sitting on the bed reading when Jamie starts whispering apologizes. “Sorry I said all that. It was stupid. Fever dreams I-”

“Stop apologizing for nothing baby. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you but you never needed me. You are someone. You’re the person people have on their walls now. You’re incredible Jamie.”

Jamie sniffs. “I can’t believe I said it all to you though. I thought. Jesus. I used to talk to your poster when I was a kid.”

Roy slides down so they’re face to face. He touches Jamie’s face, “I love you Jamie, I’m so proud that I get to be yours. I think you’re incredible for making it through everything you did. If you having my poster made it better then goddamn it I’m glad you have it.”

Jamie is crying now. Hell they both are. Roy leans forward and kisses him. “I love you too. Thank you for being here. I know I get scary when I’m sick.”

Roy pulls Jamie closer curling around him. “Sleep pretty boy, you’re okay now.”

Jamie passes out again, Roy knows they’ll talk more later.

He just hopes he can keep the nightmares away from Jamie.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Fifteen

Joyful chatter and laughter is emanating from the room next door and it startles me awake. It takes a few moments before I realise where I am, but I have no idea what time it is or how long I’ve been asleep. I sit up and rub my eyes then look out the window over the sea where the sun is low in the sky, beginning to cast long shadows over the beach. 

Jude is gone, the blankets on the bed next to me are crumpled into an imprint of his body. I check my phone for the time and as soon as I do the screen flashes with messages and missed calls. They’re all from Kelly. The sight of her name on my phone makes me feel sick, and I don’t even want to read any of them because I already know the kinds of things they will say. It’s twenty past eight. 

Everyone is back from the pitch, including Claire, and when I step out into the now crowded living room they all stare at me, especially her. I look back, feeling sympathetic, because in her face there’s that look people get when they’ve been caught doing something that they shouldn’t be. I wish I could find some way to communicate with her through just my eyes that I won’t tell on her, her secret will be safe with me.

“Rise and shine.” Jude says with a little smirk. He’s sitting with his feet on the coffee table. 

“I suppose I was tired.” I say.

“We’re thinking of ordering pizza.”

“I can’t, I have to go home.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Thanks though. I’ll see you guys soon.”

I go up the stairs and back through the kitchen making sure to walk at a normal pace, then as soon as the front door clicks shut behind me I start running as fast as I can.

There are plates in the sink when I get back, and the kitchen smells like cooking which is how I know that Kelly already made dinner for herself. The muffled sound of the TV in her bedroom is the only noise in the mobile, and it makes me feel jittery. I realise my palms are sweating as I touch them to the door handle. 

She’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, and even though she knows I’ve come in she refuses to look at me, and keeps her eyes firmly on the screen. Her jaw is set and her body is rigid. I can’t think of what to say.

“Hi.” I say eventually, the words sounding hollow and weak in my throat. 

“Hi.”

“How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

I creep closer to her and perch meekly on the edge of her bed, thinking that perhaps the best course of action is to pretend that nothing happened. “How was your day?”

Her lips are a tight line, and she still won’t look away from the screen. “I had a horrible day actually.” She says. 

“Oh.”

“You were supposed to come home at six so we could go swimming and then go to get dinner together, but you never showed up. You didn’t even text me back or pick up my calls.” 

“Kelly, I… know. I know that, I feel awful, it was a mistake.”

“I was looking forward to it, obviously, because I’ve been feeling like shit all week, and I just sat outside waiting for you for an hour until I gave up and made freezer chips and fish fingers for dinner. How sad is that?”

“Honestly, it wasn’t on purpose, I just took a nap and just slept longer than I expected, I’m so sorry.”

Her eyes finally snap to me and it makes me flinch. “You were taking a nap?”

I nod. 

“Where? On the beach?”

I keep my mouth shut and her face contorts. “You were at Jude’s house. Look at you, you’re not even wearing your own clothes. You’re not even wearing a bra.” She spits. “I actually can’t believe this, after everything that’s happened with Claire, and me explaining how I felt about my brother and his friends, you still went to hang out with them, and it’s not even that you did that, it’s that you chose that over hanging out with me. How do you think that feels?”

“I didn’t mean it.”

“What you did is actually way worse than what Claire did, because at least she told me that she’s not on my side. You just went off with them anyway, and didn’t even bother to tell me that you weren’t going to get back in time for six. I thought you were different, but clearly you’re not.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.”

“I felt like an idiot waiting for you.” Her voice cracks, and the sudden surge of emotion startles me. Tears spring to her eyes, and the sight of it takes me aback. 

“I wish I hadn’t gone over at all.” I say, feeling my own chin begin to wobble. “I wish the day had gone differently.”

“No you don’t, all you want to do is hang around and flirt with the boys and for them to all tell you how pretty you are and give you their t-shirts to wear.”

“That’s not it.”

“Please. That’s been your whole thing lately, all you want is attention.”

“It isn’t, I wanted to spend the summer with you and Claire, that’s why I’m here.”

“Yeah until you met Liam, and then Jude, and then who knows who’s going to be next. I can see this is just how it’s going to be from now on isn’t it? You’ll just run around after these boys batting your eyelashes instead of spending a second slumming it with me.”

“I’ve been with you so much this summer, I see you all the time.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well clearly you’d rather be doing something else. And apparently so would Claire, so why don’t you just go and do it. I don’t care anymore.”

I know that she does care. She always cares. I stare down at my lap. 

“This is always what happens to me.” She says harshly. “Everyone eventually finds someone better and forgets about me.”

“I’m always thinking of you.”

“Clearly not, Evie.” I can feel her eyes boring into my head and I can’t bear to look at her. The skin around my thumbnail is loose and I raise it to my mouth to bite it. 

“Of all my friends I ever had, you’re the one that’s been there the longest. I really thought that I meant more to you than this.”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you or make you feel bad, I didn’t forget about you on purpose, I don’t think it’s really fair to start questioning our whole friendship because of it.”

“You have no clue what it feels like to be forgotten though, really, do you? You’re the only child, and your parents just dote over you, they give you everything you ask for. There’s nobody to compare you to ever, you’re just so perfect, you’re such a lucky girl who has it all.”

“That’s ridiculous Kelly, nobody thinks that.”

“Yes they do! I’ll always be second best in my family and I’ll have to be second best to you too, perfect pretty little Evelyn with her perfect skinny body and cute little pixie face. You never have to try, people just like you straight away, and within hours of meeting you they invite you on trips and want to hang out with you while I don’t get a second thought.”

“That’s just not reality.” I say incredulously. “Everyone likes you, you’re always making people laugh and you always know the right clothes to wear and the right things to say to people.”

“Then why am I sitting here alone eating fish fingers and watching Eastenders then? Meanwhile you’re off hanging out with a hot boy and falling asleep in his t-shirt.”

“Well I don’t know, sometimes that’s just how it goes.”

“You think you’re so special don’t you?”

“No, I don’t.”

She shakes her head and pretends to be watching TV again, even though we both know she’s not paying attention, she just wants to make a point of being angry. There is a coil right under my rib cage that twists and tightens uncomfortably as I look at the side of her face. I feel angry too. She’s not annoyed because I forgot about our arrangement, she’s filled with bitterness over the fact that there exists a group of people who like me more than her. Over the fact that I’m not second best like I was when we were younger, back when she got to be the loudest one in the classroom and dazzled everyone around her while I sat back smiling mildly. She wanted me to be her plain, quiet little mousy friend who faded into the background, wallpaper, barely even perceptible, and now she’s furious with me for growing up. She’s been furious with me for a long time, so much now that she can barely even conceal it.

“If you hate the idea of boys liking me more than you then what was all that about setting me up with Liam? Why didn’t you just take him for yourself?”

“Because I don’t like Liam, he’s a loser.”

“But good enough for me?”

“Better than nothing, and nobody ever. Maybe I was thinking that losers should stick together.”

“Whatever Kelly.” I say, in a voice that sounds unpleasant to my own ears. “I agreed to go to the festival already, so I suppose you’ll be on your own again eating fish fingers while we’re all away.”

She won’t look at me. 

“I want you to know though that it’s your choice. You decided not to come, and if you’re miserable then you can only blame yourself.”

“Fuck you.”

“Okay.” I get up and leave the room, heart thumping and hands shaking, an explosive rage building inside me so much that I have to go outside. The sun is finally setting and the sky is red. I take off running towards the beach, listening to each thud of my feet on the dry grass beneath me. With every beat I repeat the same words over and over like a mantra: Fuck you too, Kelly.

Prev // Next

[yo-yo-yeonkai]

TO MY ANGEL, ARE YOU WATCHING? - HUENING KAI - SFW

Kai x reader

Genre: angst

Warning list: big ANGST! major character death, mentions of depression, if you squint your eyes ideas of suicide, mention of : hospital, blood, sickness, not proof read!

Word count: 1,080

Summary: Kai can’t be with you anymore, those chances had long passed, but can he see you and read those letters you send him?

Authors note: This was inspired by a piece I read recently by @mazeinthemoon called [6:27pm], which I highly recommend!!!

Dear Kai,

I’m not sure if you still look down on me, I haven’t felt your presence in so long, it’s been a bit lonely without you here. The house feels empty now, and it’s not like you ever left your room anyway. You stayed burrowed up in there, so I’d have to come join you if I wanted attention. I hope you knew I loved you, it’s too late to tell you now.

I regret it, not telling you whilst you were here, but I’m sure you already knew. The way you’d text me and tell me to come to your room, only for it to be lit up with fairy lights, a fort made in the middle and once we entered the cosiest bed for us to watch movies on. You brought all my favourite snacks, you let me pick the movies, I think you even tried to hold my hand. I’m sorry I got nervous and pulled away, I should’ve just let you hold it whilst you could. Was that a date? To me it was…

I have a new confession now Kai. I haven’t felt this way in such a long time. I did get better since you left, I promise. I’m not sick anymore, but, today I feel it. I feel the way it used to feel.

I don’t feel excited, suddenly everything I’ve ever loved feels bland. As if I took a picture and put a horribly monochrome filter on. My hobbies, are a dull grey, no longer a sparking silver. It doesn’t light up my days, nor does it make me feel like I’m living.

My voice can’t even raise in tone, I’ve tried, it just stays at a continuous monotone. No more inflections as I get excited, no more shouting as I get angry, no, I’m not even sure I felt anything but bland today. Even my emotions are mono, is this even real right now? My face doesn’t lift in a smile, doesn’t frown with disappointment, I have held a straight face for longer than I’d like. I wish you were here to make me smile… you’d probably make that dumb Pokémon noise you always replicated, I’d always whine but you knew I loved it, that’s why it always came flying out of your mouth the second I had a bad day.

Isn’t it weird that people are alive. Like, I’m living my life and you aren’t, you were stolen from me, ripped away too soon, it’s just not fair. Don’t you think? Sometimes I wish it had been the other way around, but I know that’s not possible.

I’ve been better for awhile, I’ve taken care of myself, even tried to go further than just being alive, I tried to LIVE, but I’m not great at that. Ever since i made that mistake at work, my life has consumed me, everything felt overwhelming. Like I was drowning in all the endless pain I left behind me. It came back for me when I least expected it. Can you protect me from it Kai? Can you be my angel?

Who am I kidding… I don’t want you to spend your afterlife worrying about me as well, do what you want to do, live the best you can up there. I’d cry if you thought about me the way I thought about you. In fact, I hope you forgot about me, it would hurt, but I could take it if I knew you were happy.

I used to say that health was a lie… that’s because i get sick with a click of my fingers. Now I mean that both mentally and physically. Our friends must think I chuck myself down the stairs each morning with how much physical pain I come to school with.

“What’s wrong today?”

How did they know I was in pain? Oh yes, that’s right, I’m always in pain. Can I catch a break please…

“I have a terrible pain in my stomach”

Do you remember that I actually had that pain for months and it got so bad sometimes that I missed days and days of school. You took me to the doctors because I hate them, they took my blood, but there was nothing wrong with me that they could find. So I was on medication for awhile, but it didn’t help so I got taken off it. The pain comes back sometimes. The worst bit is when my lecturers ask why I wasn’t in, and I have to explain it’s been the same pain since last month. They must think I’m a liar, I see it in their eyes. You told me I was being dramatic, but I know I wasn’t…

But when you fell sick I suddenly realised that anything I went through was just a silly bug, a little thing that would go away. You… you were suffering, true pain, true agony. I wish I could’ve done something, even ease your pain, but I couldn’t. You wouldn’t even let me stay in the hospital with you like I had wanted to. You told me “Go home, keep it warm so when I get back I won’t be cold”. You died that evening, when I was making your bed, trying to convince myself you’d be home soon. It was a lie I told myself, I knew you wouldn’t be coming home, but I didn’t think it would be so soon.

Do you know what it’s like to have your heart ripped from your chest? I imagine you felt a similar pain as your life was coming to an end, that’s how I felt when the nurse called me. She had plunged her hand into my heart and tugged it out with ease, as if my heart knew it was about to be crushed. I wish you were here to make that stupid noise once again… maybe then I’d stop feeling sick, but you aren’t.

I promise this feeling won’t continue, I’ll stay strong Kai, I know you’d want me to. I’ll even go on a walk tomorrow, and try walk it off. You always told me I should get out more. But you aren’t one to talk are you….

Perhaps I should stop sending you these letters, but how can I… when I can’t let go of you. The second I stop, is the second you truly die, because you’ll be a forgotten star, and you could never be that to me.

,Forever the dumbass roommate that fell in love with you…

[mykneeshurt]

HIII 💗💗

I love your writing and your work, so I was wondering if I could request Gaz x Reader for COD !

so like I was thinking about like hurt/comfort sorta thing? like if the reader was like sad about something and like about to cry and if Gaz would like comfort them or somth ??

sry if this sounds too confusing,, idk how to explain 😭

Probably went H.A.M on this lmao but this was cute to write. I don’t normally write for Gaz outside of head cannons so I hope this is ok!

Warnings - mentions of gore, COD typical violence, mentions of trauma, flashbacks, mentions of survivors guilt

Checking your clock it read 03:00, the witching hour. You could sleep, plagued with images of your last mission. Which went horribly wrong, you’d lost some good men, good friends that day. You’d been back on base 3 days, and while no one expected you to be over it yet, if at all, you did. You needed to move on, to get over it, you needed to prove to yourself that you weren’t weak.

Giving in you decided some fresh air might help, getting dressed you pulled the door closed behind you. You made your way down the corridors until you made it to the training field. Lying down you stared up at the night sky, counting the stars above you. A warm salty tear slowly drifted down your cheek.

‘Hey, you ok?’ The sudden noise made you jump, quickly you wiped away the tear and tried to hide your face. ‘Oh, hi Gaz. Didn’t think anyone else was up.’ You sniffed, desperately trying to hide the fact you were crying. ‘Yeah, can’t sleep. Never can before I ship out. Heard you leave your room, just wanted to check on you.’

Hearing that from him meant the world, you thought a lot of Gaz, he was a good solider and even better friend. You’d always fancied him, but he wasn’t to know that. ‘I’m fine’ you muttered, pleading your voice not to crack. Gaz sat down on the soft grass next to you ‘aww come on now, can’t bullshit a bullshitter’ he smiled. He placed his arm around you, pulling you in close to him.

You sighed, choosing to remain silent. ‘Crying isn’t a sign of weakness yanno’ he began, testing the waters. ‘Can’t let emotion build up in this job, it comes out when you least expect it. If you need to cry, cry. I promise I won’t tell anyone.’ You stifled a laugh, but it was no use, to tears fell. They fell hard and fast. ‘I don’t even know where to begin’ you sniffed.

‘Well, start with why you can’t sleep? What you thinking of?’ His voice was so gentle, smooth like silk and genuine. ‘I can’t stop seeing their faces. Their screams. I can smell the flesh burning. It’s just there, and I can’t do anything. I didn’t do anything. I should have saved them.’ Without even realising the tears were falling, heavy and thick with sorrow.

Gaz pulled your face to look at him, wiping your tears away with his thumb. ‘It wasn’t your fault. What you’re feeling is survivor guilt. I’ve been there. You did nothing wrong, there was nothing you could have done any different. You need to talk to someone, you can’t bottle this up.’ You lost yourself in his kind eyes, searching for any trace of a lie but found none. ‘But it’s my fault. It’s my fault they’re dead. I shouldn’t be here.’

He pressed his forehead against yours. ‘It’s not your fault, there’s no earthly way you could have known there was an RPG aimed at you. You don’t have x-ray eyes do you?’ You shook your head. ‘So how could you have known? You got out, you’re here now with me. Alive. And I’m so thankful. When you see their faces find something you can feel, and really feel it. Take note of how it feels against your skin, is it rough? Soft? Malleable? And text me, tell me what you feel. Can you do that?’

You nodded. Your foreheads meshed together in the bitter night air. Feeling more grounded the dam broke. You sobbed into his shoulder, choking on your tears as he held your head against him. ‘Breathe with me. You got this love.’ You tried to breathe in time with him, in and out. In and out. ‘That’s it. Well done. Deep breaths.’ His voice was calm and soothing, you felt safe and grounded in his arms. ‘Promise me you’ll talk to someone? You can’t go through this alone.’ You nodded again. ‘Words.’

‘I promise Gaz, thank you.’ He placed a reassuring kiss to your temple ‘come on, it’s fuckin baltic out here. I’ll walk you back to your room.’

[firewolf-pyro]

2. RELATIONS

The charging station walls are covered in drawn posters, blueprints and ripped alien art. The floor of the charging station closest to the wall has been covered by a mattress which itself was covered in blankets and ratty pillows. The room looks like it has been made into a sort of refugee sleeping space with clothes and cloth materials strewn about the floor. Laying in the bed in the middle is Henry with a book in hand as he stares at the ceiling between reading the paperback. Beside him curled up in a fetal position, to the right is Kendra. Both are in new clothes though it looks alien and tattered.

“Y’know… I am starting to stop missing them.” Henry lowers his book to his chest to mark the spot he stopped reading.

“What?!” Kendra looks up at him and props herself up on an elbow.

“You can’t be serious. Your fiance? Basil?! You can’t tell me you don’t miss him!” Kendra moves closer to stare into Henry’s face.

“It hurts to admit but, with all the work and exploring of scrap yards and haulers? I… I haven’t thought of him for a straight month now.” Henry stares straight at the ceiling avoiding Kendra’s awe shocked expression.

“That’s - horrible Henry. I haven’t stopped thinking of my parents, my brother… my… sister.” She lays back on her side to stare gloomily at Henry’s shoulder.

“It’s been a year…” Henry lets out a huff and lifts the book back up to continue reading.

“I think they would have moved on from us- we… we weren’t really present- working for Torchwood and all.”

Henry flips a page even as Kendra pushes a hand into his arm.

The double circular doors slide open and Olesia walks into the room. A sort of blueish white glow quickly fades around her as she walks into the room. She is still in her usual clothes with the blue button up shirt and black jeans. She gives the pair a half glance before addressing them.

“So that’s done with, we’re running really low on food stuffs. I think this next scrap haul we should go hunting or something.” Olesia walks into the room with her eyes on a tablet held in one hand. Her other hand is playing with a necklace dangling from her neck. She pauses at the bed to look down at the two laying in it.

“Augh, I don’t want to. I just… I want to go home to my mom and dad.” Kendra groans curling up further into a fetal position.

“She doesn’t get it, Kendra. She’s not got anyone to go back to on Earth. She isn’t even from Earth to begin with.” Henry rolls his eyes as he continues to read the book.

“Hey… I do get it, you miss them.” Olesia kneels down to all fours to rest a hand on Kendra’s leg.

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” Kendra looks up to Olesia and slowly sits up.

“I haven’t given up on trying to find a way out of this mess.” Olesia promises then holds up her necklace pendant before tucking it into her shirt.

“You mean… You’ve figured out a way to shut it out?” Kendra asks Inching closer to Olesia. Shutting out the ever present mind of the Dalek that had kidnapped them was… Troublesome even in the most peaceful times. But to be able to fully shut it out when you were stressed? Now that would be an entirely different mess.

“Yes- but it means… we’ll need a third party…”

Olesia glances down at Henry before looking back to Kendra.

“Or - well… Fourth party?” Olesia leans back to sit on her legs.

“A fourth person? We can’t even feed the three of us with those tiny beasts Blueton has growing in the bio-lab.” Henry scolds, setting his book down on his chest as he props himself up on his elbows.

“Yes… about that…” Olesia leans into the group. A plan needed to be discussed and thought out- quickly and as quietly as they could manage it.

In the pilots bay of the crescent ship the blue Dalek stood cold and watchful over the control panels. The room around them was pristine, lit by the white lights set into the circular decorations of the wall. The steady heartbeat of the ambient noise in this ship helped them focus on the worlds in front of them. All of them were perfect blue marbles set against the blackness of space.

“Scrap ship located. Ship is locked in a planetary rotation.” BT122 spoke idly to himself. His ear lights flash as the eyestalk twitches from side to side as they look over each screen. A tiny black speck had crossed over the surface of one of the blue marbles which had drawn its attention. On the screen in front of him was the blue planet the ship was orbiting. A planet labeled Bad Wolf. They watched the Dalek text crawl across the computer’s display screen before beginning his plan.

“Energy is… low… Sufficient resources to capture the scrap ship…” He decided after a yawn forced its way through him. Blueton lets out a startled yelp as a pair of hands slam down on his shoulder piece. His eyestalk quickly lifts and turns around to see who is assaulting them.

“Energy’s low huh?” Olesia gave a cheeky smirk as she reaches up to tap at the rim around the eyestalk. The eyestalk twitches up and away to try and shoo the interfering fingers away.

“I thought Dalek’s didn’t require sleep. You’ve been mobile and constantly checking in on the computers and those little squids in the tanks back there- that doesn’t leave a lot of time to rest now does it?” She begins to pull the casing back away from the computer’s controls. The Dalek’s manipulator arm stays connected and simply extends as he is pulled back.

“Unhand me! You will not interfere!” The Dalek turns its eyestalk around the other direction to stare at Olesia. Olesia doesn’t budge, sliding a hand down the side of the casing to trace her fingers over the gunstick. She was testing the irritability of this tyrant.

“Come on Blueberry, you already told me what you want done. The coordinates of the scrap ship there are already locked onto. I can handle the other two- it’ll be a quick in and out-“ Olesia insists, grunting as she pulls the casing further away from the controls. The manipulator arm sparks at the control panel as it disconnects from the plunger shaped end. Frantically the casing shifts trying to reconnect.

“Do not continue this activity! You will damage the control panel.” BT122 pulls their manipulator arm back towards themself as they turn their casing around to face Olesia. She steps back and rests her hands on her hips. All of the Dalek’s attention was on her- just what she needed.

“You can go rest in that recharge bay while I handle this operation. Let this be my way to prove my loyalty to you.” Olesia stands stalk still and as tall as she can. A soft smirk is on her face as she locks her eyes on Blueton’s eyestalk. Daring him to disallow this.

“You will… Assist in leading this operation? Willingly?” BT122 examines Olesia’s body language from bottom to top before focusing on her face. Her heart rate was unusually slow, perhaps she was overly confident in this? Olesia couldn’t help let her smirk widen into a grin as Blueton ogled her very being trying to decide what to do with her.

“Yes, I will willingly take command of this operation so you, Blueton- can catch some shut eye.” Olesia straightens as she tries to hide her smile, the smirk vanishing for only a little while before playing up on her lips again.

“I… Agree to transfer control of this operation partly to you. If you fail you will be punished.” Blueton snarls, approaching Olesia as both the manipulator and gunstick rise up as he stares into her face. This was not a bluff on his end and Olesia knew it. She could feel it radiating off of him.

“I wouldn’t expect any different.” She acknowledges as she stays as still as she can while staring Blueton down.

“I will retire to the recharge station.” Blueton stated in a dismissive manner. He moves past Olesia out of the control room leaving her alone with the operation plans open and active on the screen in front of her.

Out in the hallway Blueton passes both Olesia and Henry. Both were leaning against either side of the sliding doors. Blue didn’t give them a second thought- assuming they must have been eavesdropping on their conversation with Olesia as they often did before. He didn’t have much against that- having done the same for decades before this with other Daleks. It wasn’t that difficult to break into other’s pathwebs to listen, after all. The pair didn’t enter the control room until Blueton disappeared into the recharge room.

“That went a lot better than I expected it to.” Olesia bearthes out a sigh of relief before moving to the controls. She starts messing around with the screens flipping through piloting screens until she feels comfortable with how the ship felt in her hands.

“You’ll make sure you teleport us inside the ship this time right?” Henry asks as he walks over to lean on the control panel’s shelf.

“The nanites are good at keeping us from exploding in open space but it’s still- way too cold.” Kendra shivers as she walks to Olesia’s other side. She stairs over the screens looking for just what they were headed towards. A smaller scrap hawler it seemed.

“Yeah I’ll make sure you two get into that little ship there. Just- tell me when you’ve got the pilot. Once you’ve got them we’ll … We’ll see how well this goes.” Olesia huffs, looking over to a hopeful looking Kendra.

Quickly both Kendra and Henry were teleported off of the crescent ship onboard the rickety old hawler filled to the brim with scrap. It only took them a few minutes to find the pilot’s bay where their target resided. After a moment of roughhousing and rough handling for the sparse crew onboard - Henry yelled out to Olesia that he had grabbed hold of the pilot. All three were immediately teleported back on board the old crescent ship.

In the charging room on the front most station rests the Dalek casing. The manipulator arm, gunstick and eyestalk are all pointed downwards in a resting position. Tubes and hoses are sticking out of the Dalek casing’s skirt section out of some of the semi-spheres. Shadows fall around the casing for a moment or two before a pair of blue hands grab the dome of the Dalek casing. They twist and pull the dome off of the neck section of the casing in one fell swoop. The manipulator arm and gunstick raise slightly as the eyestalk’s light flashes on.

“c’mon stay unconscious just long enough fr’me to get this thing detached-“ The pilot reaches their arm into the casing’s neck piece and begins searching around for something. From Blueton’s perspective this massive invasion of privacy brought his mutant self into full consciousness.

The hand reaches past wires and tubes to mess around with the back side of the gunstick. The man was trying to disconnect the gunstick from the rest of the armor, his fingers wrapping around the wires and tubes that connected it to the core of the Dalek’s control center. Blueton raised his tendrils slowly- fear in his gut turning to pure rage. How DARE this inferior being INVADE his personal space and attempt to DISARM him! He would not let this stand!

As fast as light the tendrils coiled around the arm latching the makeshift jaws of the Dalek mutant’s around the wrist. The pilot pulled back quickly with a scream as the toothy structures in the jaw but down into the soft blue flesh of his. They didn’t stop at the bone like most bites would- the tendons and muscle holding the rest of the Dalek’s core apart tensed so tightly they sent the bone clean into the wrist bones of the pilot. With a loud CRUNCH Blueton had broken clean through both the radius and ulna of this strange man’s arm. He didn’t stop there- attempted theft would be punished! Punishable via the removal of one’s limb they dared to use to steal!

Blueton wrapped a few of his longer tendrils around the arm as well giving another good full body squeeze. More snapping could be heard as the upper arm gave way to the pressure. The pilot let out a frantic- pained scream as he still tried to pull away. No one came to help him. No one would be able to- the Dalek’s mind was at peak awareness keeping its puppets locked into place just a few feet away from the door. They wouldn’t be able to help even as the man was yanked further into the casing. The pilot wasn’t about to give himself up to the Dalek so easily- giving a good push off with his legs to free himself from the hold of his captor…. Unfortunately- this led to the loss of his arm as the muscles and tendons tore away via the force of the opposing forces. A bath of blood for the Dalek, the mark of its hatred.

The pilot stumbled backwards clutching the blood mess of torn muscle at his shoulder where his arm should have been. He slammed against the servers crowding the wall opposite the charging station. Panting, the Pilot slid down to stare at the still dripping casing of the Dalek’s in front of him. This wasn’t right- Daleks never had the capability to bite. Most Dalek’s didn’t have any bones to begin with- they were all stringy tendons and muscle with some cartilage- he’d never come across anything about Daleks having… teeth.

“You were asleep- you were asleep-“ The Pilot pants as he clutches their shoulder. Slowly long blue tendrils slid up out of the neck section of the Dalek’s casing. The buzzing sensation of radiation would leave a taste of metal in anyone’s mouth here- though all the Pilot could taste was his own metallic blood.

“Please- they said you were asleep- they just want to go home- no- please- please have mercy- no- nooo!” He screams as the mutant preps itself to launch across the room onto him. The man wouldn’t get much more time to plead for his life- the being flinging itself onto their face landing with a heavy thud. His screams would be muffled under the mass of the monster. Soon to be silenced as Blueton wrapped his tendrils around the neck- snapping it with ease. Peace, at last for the blue Dalek.

[mylifebeingautistic]

book review: The Many Half-Lived Lives of Sam Sylvester by Maya MacGregor

Sam Sylvester is an autistic, non-binary 18-year-old who has just moved to Astoria, Oregon to escape a traumatic event in their past. Sam is interested in what they call “half-lived lives”, people who died before their nineteenth birthdays, and they are worried that they may have the same fate.

So when they move into the house of one of these people, Sam begins an investigation. Everyone in the town claims that the teenage boy who died in Sam’s house was killed in a tragic accident, but Sam and their new friend Shep are convinced it was murder.

I loved this book. The teenage characters were written so realistically and I really liked how Sam was able to find people who they could be themselves around. Also, Sam’s dad was one of my favourite characters! He’s such a good parent because he’s so understanding and kind.

The only thing I wasn’t so sure about with this book was the ending. It just didn’t fully satisfy me, I wanted the mystery to be wrapped up better. But overall, this was a really good book!

From this point on, I will be discussing spoilers and quotes from The Many Half-Lived Lives of Sam Sylvester. If you don’t want to see those, stop reading here!

First I wanted to share my thoughts on the autistic representation in this book.

Sometimes I feel like a balloon with a thousand inputs filling me with conversation noise, smells, clanking chairs, whispers, someone talking to me, so many things until I’m full to bursting but can’t pop, and the only way is to release that pressure with my fists. My leg’s the most usual casualty.

I really relate to the way Sam feels here: it can be hard to find healthy ways to release all the pressure that builds up inside you from just existing in the world. Their dad buys them a punching bag to help them channel these feelings in a way that doesn’t harm them, which was so thoughtful and nice!

“I’m autistic.” “Oh.” Shep nods towards the crosswalk, and I follow, afraid she’s going to say something dreaded like but you don’t seem autistic or you must be “high-functioning” or you should say “person with autism” or some other horrible thing that neurotypical people say to me when they find out, all of which just mean you’re really good at pretending to be “normal”, but you’ll never really be normal. Instead, the next thing out of her mouth is “What’s it like?”

This scene made me so happy! When autistic people trust someone enough to tell them that we’re autistic, people often have reactions that make us uncomfortable. Shep is a good friend because she doesn’t want to be affected by her preconceptions of what autism is, she just wants to support her friend in the way that is best for them.

“Can I tell them you’re autistic?” he asks me, and I appreciate it.

This is something that might be difficult to understand for some people, but it really is important that (when it’s possible) autistic people are allowed to decide whether or not they want to share their diagnosis. It’s a very personal thing and there may be all sorts of reasons why someone wouldn’t want to share, so the best practice is to always ask first.

Now I’m going to write about my thoughts about the plot and the mystery element of the book.

What I found hard to understand in this book was whether or not it was supposed to have a fantasy element. Sam seems to be in communication with Billy, the boy who died in their house, but it was unclear whether this was real, or just their imagination. So I didn’t really enjoy that element of the book.

The mystery was good and I liked the reveal of the murderer being Carl, but Esme thinking she had accidentally killed Billy. But I didn’t like how the mystery of who was threatening Sam was resolved. I’m not even sure who it was that was throwing the rocks at their windows, whether that was one of the people from school or if it was Carl.

That’s all I have to say about this book! Have you read it? Did you like it? What did you like or dislike about it?

[recklesssturniolo]

ok so i need to get this off my chest and i can’t tell my friends this story (at least not the whole story)

like i was at the club last night and i saw this boy (one of my friends’ cousin and part of her friend group i met at her birthday a few years ago) and he kept staring at me and kept being wherever i moved on the dance floor and he was getting on my nerves cause i already found him annoying for this years and when he is drunk is worse

when we exited the club me and another friend of mine went to eat something with him and his friend cause he recognized me and started talking to me and plus they had the car

for like two hours he kept staring at me while we talked all together and seemed kinda jealous of the boys talking or looking at me and especially he seemed so jealous when we bringed up my ex situationship (HIS FRIEND) for fun and in the car we were always alone cause my friend and his friend were making out outside and he was trying to do that too but i was distancing myself cause i have trust issues and i talked to him literally two times and he was my friend’s cousin and one of my ex situationship (that broke me)’s best friend

and we never kissed but i gave him a blow job cause he was teasing me so much that was turning me on and he was trying fingering me but i didn’t let him AND AFTER ALL THAT HE TOLD ME HE WAS WITH A GIRL FOR 8 MONTHS (and still was) like i wanna kms😭🔫 i would’ve never done that if i new and i feel horrible and i got mad at him and he said “i should be the one to worry and feel bad” and i was like “it takes two to make things” and i really believe in loyalty and i’m a girls girl

and like me and my friend that was with me last night reached a new whole level of friendship cause we were all us four in the car (ma and this boy in the front and my friend and the other boy in the back) and we were giving them blowjobs at the same time and we were dying of laughing when we made noises of chocking or someone made some sort of joke cause we were all still tipsy

plus he sent a picture of us in the car to my ex situationship and his male friends (we were just chilling at the time and it was before everything happened) and like bye i can’t go out anymore

and at that birthday were i met them i made out and did foreplay with my now ex situationship that i met that night AND i found out that another boy from this friend group that was hitting on me IS HIS BROTHER (so another cousin of my friend)

like what has this group with me😭🔫

am i whore? i wanna cry

i need to recollect with nature

i need to go to the church

i’m turning into a nun

bye thanks for reading if you do 🤍

This was a WILD read I kept getting more shocked & I mean personally I’d tell his gf but assure her that u had no idea n shit bc she deserves to know but the BLOWJOBS N SHIT IN THE CAR HELLO?? YALL ARE WILDDDDDD this sounds like a literal fic

[purplesurveys]

1806

Are you tired? Are you taking this survey because you can’t sleep?  Not very tired at all even if it's past midnight. I finally feel the calm that's been evading me for a while because 1) I have a long weekend, and 2) I can also finally stop fooling myself about resigning 'soon,' because I did it already a week ago :)

Do you have something important to do?  Not right now but I'll be doing a lot of job hunting in the next few weeks! Also tomorrow morning I'll be heading out to get my car checked because the handbrake icon has been lighting up for a while now and I need to know what's up with that lol.

Do you like Jalapeno Cheetos?  It tastes okay but I'm generally not a fan of packed snacks.

Do you wish you had a new phone?  No but I need to start taking care of my current phone, cos I learned today that the battery capacity left on it is at 77% which is apparently already horrible haha. I'm not in any rush to replace it at least until a year or two from now as it's still a fairly new phone, so it's just a matter of watching out for how much I use it going forward.

Name one thing you ate today?  Instant laksa.

Do you like 80’s music? 60’s music? 90’s music?  I have songs I like from each decade but none of them stand out for me when it comes to music in general.

Do you find rap music annoying? Rap music, and any genre for that matter, is super broad though. There are albums I like but then there are those songs that can get superficial about drugs and sex and have a lot of autotune that just makes me go egh.

What song is stuck in your head?  I'm Fine by BTS because it was the last song I played on Rhythm Hive before closing the game earlier today lol.

Have you ever been to Germany? Never been.

Do you drink coffee in the mornings? I need to, otherwise I'd feel super disoriented and not be able to get as focused at work.

Do you become a fan of lots of things on Facebook?  Not anymore, but I remember how huge that was before. People made pages out of anything and everyone would just be fans of them.

What time do you go to bed on school/work nights? Around midnight or a little past.

Have you ever seen a therapist?  I've never had a session with one, actually. Even though there were many times in the past where I know I should've.

Do you get in trouble at school often?  No. I got scolded once for talking during a class in Grade 4 and from there made it a point to never disrupt again haha.

Do you watch videos on YouTube?  All the time. Even if I don't watch a video per se, I like having YouTube on as background noise/visuals and keep it playing all day long.

Name a song that makes you happy.  These days, Paramore's Escape Route has been giving me all the happy vibes.

Name a song that makes you want to dance. Home by BTS.

Name a song that brings back memories.  Fireflies by Owl City.

Does the song above bring back good or bad memories?  A little bit of both, but mostly good.

What decade do you think is the best musically?  I'd be the worst person to ask this as I never really was an adventurous listener. I also feel like each decade has their own styles and charms when it comes to music so as far as 'musically best' I'd find it hard to tell.

Do you take a long time to get ready in the mornings?  I need around 30-45 minutes to prep before work. That includes taking a shower, making my bed, cleaning my room, playing with the dogs for a few minutes, and making coffee.

Do you wear a lot of makeup?  Does BB cream count? That's really the only thing I apply, and foundation. But yeah in general, the answer is no.

Have you ever written poetry or fiction?  I've dabbled in both but never enjoyed it. I was always one for non-fiction writing.

Do you know how to read music?  Nope. We had drills in music class where we had to read notes and such, but I never retained those and if you quizzed me right now I'd pretty much be clueless.

Do you regularly use a blow dryer?  I don't.

When was the last time you went to church?  Three Sundays ago. The last two I missed because I watched a public Royal Rumble watch party, then had a work event to oversee.

Would you date someone who was a different religion than you?  I wouldn't date anyone who's closely tied to their religion.

What is your best subject in school?  History.

Name something you do nearly everyday.  Use a laptop.

Do you take surveys a lot?  Than the average person, absolutely. Within the community...not nearly as much as I used to. I usually have time to check in only on the weekends now.

Have you ever had sushi?  Yes, it's one of my favorite foods. I literally had sushi at least once every week in January hahaha.