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#I can’t make choices on my own
1427 · 6 months
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Any real opinions on releasing things in one big part or breaking it up? Preferences from reader OR writer standpoints?
When I have a story (like I do now) that’s BASICALLY a oneshot - I often feel like there’s a sort of natural part one and part 2; (part one really being the set up, building tension, ect)
Like I find myself so overcome with YES IM DONE with finishing the set up that I just want to post it as is and hope instead of annoyed people get hype for part two where the smut is?
That darylxsister!ofc is a little over 3k and it just feels like it’s at this natural part 1 conclusion but I also feel like maybe it annoys people to have things broken up??
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crismakesstuff · 6 months
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cast out of paradise
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edwinisms · 1 month
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it’s actually so wild to me that this fairly quirky YA type show gave both of its main characters deaths that can, in one way or another, solidly be considered hate crimes. they were both flat out murdered as a result of being A) gay and effeminate or B) brown (south asian, specifically) and you could argue whether or not those kids thought of it that way in the moment or whatever but the bottom line is that they would not have been in the situations that killed them if they weren’t of their respective minorities. like legitimately that is a ballsy choice for this kind of netflix show, let alone for the two Main Characters, and i respect it big time
#rambling#i think about this a lot#you could brush charles’ off as a hate crime by proxy since it was in response to him Stopping a hate crime#but that would be stupid. like you think what happened to him would’ve happened if he was white? doubtful#as a mixed person the way i see it is that in that moment- when he protected that pakistani kid- he went from being tolerated#by being/acting just white enough and with enough other jock traits to sort of fit in amongst them#to all at once proving to them that no- he is in fact The Other. he isn’t one of us he’s one of Them.#and as such what happened to him would’ve been a bonafide hate crime. even if they were to give an excuse like ‘he got in our way’ or ‘he#made a fool out of us’ or whatever else. even if those boys didn’t fully UNDERSTAND the racism in their own intentions/actions#it still would be. because that would not have happened to a white boy. period#anyway. genuinely fascinating choice they made with the way they presented his death- especially considering it was not#remotely similar in the comics. neither of them had the hate crime aspect going on really up til yockey’s narrative choices#so props to him. man’s got balls#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edit: I will say that I don’t think the boys in edwin’s case technically murdered him nor would I call them murderers#because I can’t imagine a single one of them actually thought that ritual was gonna do anything more than make him piss himself#it was still hate-based bullying. like they still absolutely did what they did because he’s visibly effeminate and easily clickable#and all in all: gay. but when I say edwin was murdered I don’t really mean by those boys. I mean those boys dragged him into the situation#(kicking and screaming) that GOT him murdered by a demon. and he would not have been in that position if not for being gay.#I’ll say it again because last time I talked about this someone got real pissy in my inbox: I am not excusing the actions of the boys that#got him killed nor am I saying what they did wasn’t based in homophobia. i am just clarifying that they didn’t intend on killing anyone or#think whatsoever that someone getting killed was even a possibility (as opposed to charles’ killers who definitely had to have thought he#could be killed even if that might not have been the premeditated goal of every boy involved)#but the fact that edwin was ultimately intentionally killed by a demon counts as murder to me#someone killed him on purpose. that’s murder#the demon probably didn’t give a shit about this human teenager’s sexuality but regardless he ended up there for being gay.#so. just. a clarification
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the-obnoxious-sibling · 10 months
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“Being a pirate is all about going your own way.” // “Come with me, Buggy!!”
is this post totally redundant after the similar post i made last week? idk. i guess the main difference is that this time i’m looking at the same topic in an unambiguously romantic light? the shipper goggles, as they say, are on, and i want to talk about these scenes in that context. so, if you’ll forgive me for repeating myself a bit, let’s talk about this again:
as much as i enjoy the heartbreak of “they always thought they’d be together but miscommunication tore them apart” takes on shanks/buggy, the very first flashback we get about them—the first things we learn about them at all, really—tells us this isn’t true.
and i think what we get is more romantic.
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Chapter 19, Pages 12-13. i know last time i said they’re at most 12 here, but looking at these lanky-ass teenaged designs that’s nuts. i fully believe oda hadn’t thought through their ages/the timeline at this point, and they were originally supposed to be about luffy’s age when buggy got his devil fruit. which is not relevant to this post in any way, but it’s my post so i get to go off-topic if i want.
Shanks and Buggy have their own goals as pirates, and at this time they understand them to be mutually incompatible. Buggy thinks Shanks’ travel-and-adventure-oriented take on piracy is soft and foolish; Shanks doesn’t care for Buggy’s exclusively treasure-focused take. They’re sometimes friendly, sometimes not, they’ve fought side by side, but they know this time as allies and crewmates is temporary. (Buggy plans on taking his treasure map and the Devil Fruit and leaving the crew immediately.) Maybe they’ll become friendly rivals, ‘fighting to the finish’ when they run into each other like Roger and Whitebeard do, or maybe the next time they see each other they’ll literally fight to the finish. Who knows?
“That’s also what being a pirate is all about.” It’s very sensible behavior. Smart planning for the future.
Which means the contradictory ways they act later—Buggy secretly deciding to follow Shanks, Shanks bluntly asking Buggy to come with him—are not about these characters thoughtlessly clinging to the status quo. They are not in a “we were always together and I never thought that would change” situation. Deciding to stick together is a considered, emotional decision: “I know we don’t make sense together but I don’t care, I want us together anyway.”
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Chapter 1082, Pages 8-9. i was cursed the moment i saw these pages with Unable To Stop Thinking About It disease; only time will tell if seeing it animated makes it worse or cures me.
This argument is a codependent breaking point. Buggy’s pinned all his dreams on Shanks, hoisted that poor boy up on a pedestal, and it all falls apart when Shanks reveals thoughts and plans that don’t match Buggy’s perception of him. He can’t bear to be around him now that the false image has been revealed. (Shanks, poor thing, seems to have had no idea any of this was happening.)
But if Shanks hadn’t said no to Laugh Tale in this moment—or maybe if he’d offered a soft no of, idk, “okay, sure, once we’ve got a strong enough crew”—Buggy would have gone with him, still projecting wildly onto Shanks. He’d convinced himself that being a member of the Pirate King’s crew was enough for him, that he didn’t need to be Pirate King himself if Shanks got the title and he was with Shanks.
…but would he have actually liked being a member of that crew?
Like, looking at the things the Red-Haired Pirates do, would Buggy have enjoyed being one of them? Wandering East Blue, hanging out in friendly port towns, collecting treasure here and there but spending a lot of time getting drunk and making friends with the locals? Eventually becoming famous for having a large, weak fleet of subordinate pirate crews Shanks has to sometimes physically step in and protect?
God, no, he’d’ve been miserable. Just seething with thwarted ambition, furious at the perceived disrespect. A real power hungry first officer stereotype, the kind of character that makes you think, Why’s he working for this guy if he hates him so much?
And Buggy must have suspected it would go something like that. But if Shanks hadn’t rejected Laugh Tale, he would’ve gone with him anyway.
(Better to be miserable with you than a loser on my own.)
Or say Buggy agreed to come with Shanks. Obviously his presence wouldn’t change the crew makeup significantly enough to skew the Red-Haired Pirates towards his way of thinking, but for the sake of argument: if he had convinced Shanks to do things his way, would Shanks have enjoyed the kind of piracy Buggy engages in? Taking over and destroying East Blue port towns, ordering your crew killed on a furious whim, single-mindedly hunting down treasure maps and single-mindedly hunting down treasure chests and paying no attention to anything along the journey? Eventually becoming the boss and administrator for a bunch of bounty hunters and mercenaries?
No way; most of that behavior is totally repellant to Shanks. If he let Buggy do that kind of thing under his banner, you’d be left wondering What happened to his morals? Why does he let this guy walk all over him?
And Shanks knew the kind of pirate Buggy was and wanted to be. But he asked Buggy to come with him anyway.
(Better to be miserable with you than have fun apart.)
It’s hard to see a way to make these very different styles of pirating work together. It’s probably doable… with a lot of compromise and honest conversation. The younger Shanks and Buggy had a point, when they said each going their own way was the obvious choice! It was certainly the easier one. Was it the happier one? Who can say.
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emberglowfox · 2 days
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i kind of knew in theory that all my hobbies involved my hands but i kind of just ignored it n was like oh well im sure id manage
top ten pics taken seconds before disaster
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thinking sashisu thoughts rn ………… suguru was the least desensitized of the three and that’s why he was the first to break . explodes
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alluralater · 4 months
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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.
#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking#up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being#positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge#her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being#there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is#everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and#without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need#reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is#unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i#up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to#do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind#yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not#survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us#has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting#her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want#her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or#much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3
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theswedishpajas · 8 months
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I’ve been making some choices in-game for the sake of accuracy to me irl, but they’ve started to catch up with me mentally ✌️✌️✌️
We’re working on it though, just gotta keep at it and learn how to stop myself more in the future 😤
#my art stuff#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#tav#tiefling tav#astral-touched tadpole#special tadpole#bg3 act 3#act 3#act 3 spoilers#this is mainly touching on my irl self-consciousness about my veins#and I’ve had a rather troubled past causing me to become hypersexual#while also being heavily aro-ace#it’s caused a bad addiction to set roots and while I’ve been handling it okay irl lately#it’s starting to itch at the back of my head and seep into the game instead#I connect very easily with media when I hyperfixate and the world of the media feels like my own for however long I hyperfixate on it#so the things I’ve been doing in the game cus “they can’t actually harm me” there have started to harm me anyways#or at least I think so#i keep actively thinking about the choices before I make them#and my curiosity causes me to make the choices on a scrap save that I throw out after#but sometimes a lil voice in the back of my head goes “that wasn’t that bad - let’s keep it cus I WOULD do this if it were me irl”#and then I get too stubborn to change it before I’ve played enough that it would actually set me back a stressful amount to do so#I’ve been latching onto Astarion because I recognize parts of myself in him and helping myself is too hard sometimes so I help him instead#but I still deserve to help myself - especially when it’s extra hard to do so.#comic#mental health#serious conversation#a lot of my conversations are serious (even when they seem goofy on surface level) but still#sketch
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indelicateink · 2 months
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writerkmc · 1 year
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maeve: i mean— what? am i supposed to just do everything that bronwyn does now? what if she were to jump off a cliff?
addy: if bronwyn were to jump off a cliff, she would’ve done her due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. if you see bronwyn jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
maeve: … you jump off a cliff!
addy: gladly. provided bronwyn jumps first
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j-esbian · 27 days
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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the-casbah-way · 4 months
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i’ve long since given up on the fantasy of an Accepting Family but i’m kind of tired of my mother pretending she’ll ‘try’ and support my transition only for her to turn around and tell me i’m making a mistake and i’m making her sad by doing it and also refusing to help me with even the tiniest things. i asked if she would drive me to my bloods appointment tomorrow because i don’t drive and i’m terrified of blood tests and i always faint afterwards so i don’t want to have to walk back home which takes over an hour. and she said no even though she’s not busy with anything else and it’s a short drive. she just doesn’t want to. and i’m not trying to act like a spoilt bitch who expects to get chauffeured everywhere but i would rather she stop pretending to be ‘trying’ when she doesn’t actually act like it at all
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letstrywritingmaybe · 2 months
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Hi! I suddenly very invested in the shinsherry ship dynamic, of course I have my own ideas and hc. Do you fancy the dynamic? If it is a yes, do you have some sorts of hc for them?
Pd: I am still working on in this shinsherry fic so I need a bost of energy.
Oh my, idk if I’m the best person to ask tbh since I tend to write shinshi and CoAi exclusively compared to other dynamics. The closest I’ve come is probably Don’t Blame Me. I won’t be much help, but I do agree we need more of it in the fandom! It needs to be explored! I’m hopeful you’ll be able to share your fic with us!
Idk if it’s cause I’m a Gemini, but as much as I believe Sherry to be a part of her. It’s more of a persona to me, so underneath it all she’s still Shiho. Just forced to be this character that she never wanted to be out of survival. So when I do dabble with her being more of a bad girl, that’s the approach I go for.
Sherry is all snark, sass, confident, and cutthroat who takes no shit. She’s not allowed to be weak, she fights back and isn’t above playing dirty. At least on the outside this is how she appears to be, but at the end of the day she’s soft and does actually own a heart. Shinichi I think sees this side of her despite her best efforts to pretend she’s pure evil. Though at first he’s definitely tricked into thinking she’s just bad news, but him with his savior complex wants to rescue her. Thus begins their interesting relationship
The more he tries to get close to her, the harder she pushes him away. But in the grand scheme of things they’re both after the same goal, so she helps him bring the org down. She’s a traitor anyway, may as well play the part to the fullest. She expects to be locked away to atone for her sins, but Shinichi has other ideas.
I’m basically retelling my own fic, but I think the most important thing to me is that Sherry is in charge and she gets to decide how close he gets to her. She’s the one with the experience and she knows what she wants and what she’s willing to give him and what she wants to take from him. As time goes on he gains more control and tries to defy her, but she’s one step ahead every time. My queen stays winning!
The second but equally as important thing to me is the devotion on his part. She has a bad reputation and yet he’s still willing to throw everything away for her. It’s like everyone on the outside is telling him she’s bad news but he’s still getting burned just for a chance to love her. Basically he’s down bad for her as he should be.
My girl is a bluffer and mostly all talk, but fuck around and find out. She’s ruthless in her own ways and won’t hesitate to play into her role, self destructive and insane but she’s just passionate okay.
This dynamic is honestly very intriguing, it’s all a game and not meant to be real. So very flirty and fun with very serious consequences but they’re not going to worry about that. It’s almost a break/relief when they’re together which doesn’t make sense cause everything they do is very high stakes and people’s lives are in danger but I think the risk is part of what gets them. It’s very push and pull, will they or won’t they? The almost, and pure frustration but also satisfying at the same time? They shouldn’t make sense, but they do. They made opposites attract, the tension is very real.
She’s cool, calm, and collected while he’s the exact opposite until they settle into their routine and he has no choice but to be just as cool about how casual their relationship is. Not that it’s much of a relationship, cause no labels. She teaches him patience cause he’s way too damn impulsive, and the consequences of his actions. He takes her teachings to heart.
He’s left in the dark a lot and he hates it but again he doesn’t have much of a choice cause she won’t give him the answers. There’s a lot of trust on his part, she doesn’t tell him anything, she has to trust him too but she definitely holds back just in case since she’s paranoid and she is still trying to protect him.
I’ve rambled too much and I don’t think I even made sense. But I think it depends on the setting too. Cause I have other ideas if she is for real riding for the org. There’s a lot to their dynamic but the tldr version is: Sherry is more dominant and Shinichi is hopelessly intrigued. Best of luck to you, Love! Happy writing! <3
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likedaylighht · 3 months
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Not to be sappy but ever since I moved into this apartment last summer I’ve felt like I’ve been fighting to survive, and today I realized all this time I thought all I was doing was trying to cope with shitty situations I was also somehow making a life here in this town that I’m really gonna miss. The local coffee shop 5 minutes from my apartment where I went to job search because it use to fill me with dread and wanted a treat to offset the anxiety but now has become a favorite part of my week and the place where I learned I liked chai lattes. The park where I went the first time bc I had a horrible mental breakdown and just wanted to sit in the sun and just hold on for a moment has turned into the place where I go to work on my fitness and spend the day kayaking, and I’ve walked almost all of the trails now… I was too even scared to get out of the car the first time I went. The downtown area that I use to be intimidated of driving around now lives in a map in my mind of familiar roads. All along I thought I was barely keeping my head above water but I’ve really built a little life here. And I’m so proud of myself. At least I’m trying 🥺
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romance-incubomp3 · 8 months
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like if therapy and meds help you that’s so cool but it drives me insane how people treat those as some magical cure all that EVERYONE needs to seek out even though the psych industry is fucked and biased and not affordable and if trying to find a good therapist or find the right meds is doing nothing but causing you even more stress and anxiety even after you’ve been trying to get help for years than maybe it’s not worth it at that point
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exopelagic · 2 months
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WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE
#I DIDNT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT BUT STILL. SOMEONE SHOULDVE WARNED ME BEFORE I GOT COMPLETELY INVESTED#I know next to nothing abt dimension 20 I’m pretty sure I just saw a post abt burrows end specifically MONTHS ago and was like 👀👀👀#opened a tab with the first episode to watch later and promptly forgot about it#until last night! having a bad night and was like hrm what if I just watch smth#and I’ve been reading watership down recently!! finally got my own copy bc it was my favourite book when I was like NINE#so I am fully primed to fall in love with a story abt little animals rn and man#I am OBSESSED with this and also realising yeah I’m at a point where I could get very into tabletop rpgs now#what if. what if I just get dropout. what if I just do that. would that not be fun. I would like to see the stoats do stuff#i am so in love with Ava and her player and I understand so much more about brennan lee mulligan now. and VIOLA#viola may be my favourite character I’m obsessed with how she interacts with other characters.m#i NEED to know what’s up with thorn’s cult thing. and also thorn. what is going on there#hrrgrhehh the thing that’s holding me back is I’m allergic to subscriptions#impermanence. even though I know it’s fairly unlikely I’ll wanna watch it again any time soon I don’t like the idea that I’d have to like#in a couple years pay for it again or not be able to bc I can’t afford it even though I already paid for it once#I’m a books + cartridge games guy and it shows.#okay. I will chew on this. the price is not unreasonable and I have coincidentally also been looking at make some noise clips#it does not help that I basically never watch things but my favourite podcast is also ending within the next month (2 episodes left)#and this IS primarily audio so I could cook + watch mayhaps. and I’ve heard good things abt all other d20.#they have a 20% off first year deal on. annual would make me less stressed long term if I end up liking this bc cheaper + choice premade#and would also mean I can do it now and not feel bad abt wasting the first month bc I won’t be able to watch much for a few weeks#fuck it I’m allowed to make frivolous purchases sometimes I will simply swallow the subscription distaste#more stoats >:)#that aside all the players are incredible I’m pretty sure when this is done I’ll wanna watch other seasons just to see what else they do#okay go do the thing I believe in you you can spend money sometimes#luke.txt#update I downloaded the app. I am putting off the decision for another day now bc it’s 1:21am and I have not been thinking clearly <3
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