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A Love Unborn
synopsis: sequel to Wifey Material, angst with hurt comfort.
TW: Miscarriage is mentioned throughout (not described in extreme detail)
A/N: Once again like the previous post I got heavily inspired by Charlotte York as I had just watched the SATC episode where she unfortunately miscarriages. I even referenced the Tiffany baby rattle ☹️.
As you sat on the toilet, you couldn’t bear to turn over the pregnancy test on the sink. You and Nanami had been trying for a baby for about 2 months now and so far there were no apparent fruits of your labour. You were beginning to lose hope when your period was gone for 2 weeks. So, you did the sensible thing and dragged one of your good friends, Nicole, out and to buy a pregnancy test with you.
“What if I’m not?” You anxiously ask, finger repeatedly tapping the pregnancy test box.
“What if you are?” Nicole replied, taking the box away from your anxious hands. “And if you’re not, that’s okay. It’s normal. You are 26, not 56. I’m sure you have tons of eggs left waiting for sperm to fill them up.”
“Ew, don’t say that.” You laugh. “But you’re right.”
Nicole took your arm and dragged you to the pharmacy counter. She gave you a slight hug, reiterating her support for you.
———
Your heart was pounding in your chest as the two minutes slowly took place. Nanami was at work but he had promised you that when you got the news you would call him straight away. As the timer on your phone blared out, you took a deep breath and slowly reached out for the test. With shaking hands, you picked it up and slowly brought it in front of you. Now, your whole body was pretty much shaking and there was a part of you that didn’t want to turn over the test, didn’t want to come in terms with the fact that you were not pregnant, again.
You can do this, you thought to yourself before you finally turned it around. Your eyes immediately saw the two lines, clear as a summer’s day. You screamed in exhilaration, jumping up and down joyfully. You couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe it. A surge of joy and disbelief washed over you as you stared at the test, double-checking the two unmistakable lines that confirmed it. Tears pricked your eyes, and your hands flew to your mouth as you tried to hold back the rush of emotions. You had imagined this moment so many times, but nothing prepared you for the overwhelming wave of happiness now that it was real.
You grabbed your phone with trembling fingers, scrolling to Nanami’s number. You held your breath as the phone rang, heartbeat thumping in anticipation. When he picked up, his warm, familiar voice instantly made you feel at ease.
“Hey, love,” he said, his tone instantly comforting. “Everything okay? Did you take the test?”
“Yes,” you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper, already thick with emotion.
There was a pause as he held his breath, waiting. “And…?” His voice softened, a mix of hope and gentle anticipation.
You could feel your heart swelling with happiness as you spoke, “It’s positive, Nanami. I’m pregnant!” The words were full of joy, like they couldn’t wait to tumble out.
You heard him inhale sharply, a stunned silence on the other end as he absorbed the news. Then, a quiet, relieved laugh escaped him. “We did it,” he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. “We’re going to be parents.”
“Yes, we’re really going to be parents,” you said, tears spilling down your cheeks as you laughed, the joy bubbling up in both of you. “It actually happened.”
“I can’t believe it,” he said, his voice low, almost reverent. “I knew we were hoping, but… hearing you say it out loud—this feels incredible.” He paused, and you could hear the soft emotion in his voice. “Thank you, my love, for making this dream come true with me.”
The two of you shared a moment of silent wonder on the phone, both overwhelmed by the reality of what lay ahead. You could practically feel his warmth through the line, his hand reaching out for yours in spirit, holding on as the reality of this new adventure took hold. After a moment, he spoke, his tone warm and full of love. “I’ll be home as soon as I can. We need to celebrate this together.”
———
When Nanami finally came through the door later, he was practically glowing with happiness, his face breaking into a wide smile the moment he saw you. Without a word, he crossed the room, pulling you close and holding you tightly. After a moment, he leaned back, one hand drifting to your stomach as he met your eyes, his gaze full of warmth and quiet joy.
“This is it,” he whispered, his voice filled with awe. “Our family is beginning.”
You placed your hand over his, feeling a shared surge of excitement and tenderness. “It’s really happening, Nanami. We’re going to be parents.”
His smile softened, and he bent down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Thank you for everything. I can’t wait to go through this journey with you.”
“I have a surprise for you…” Nanami began, reaching behind his back to produce a small blue box wrapped with a white bow. His gaze softened as he held it out to you. “I bought this when we first decided on having a baby.”
Your heart fluttered as you took the box from his hands, carefully untying the bow. Inside was a beautiful Tiffany baby rattle, gleaming and elegant. It looked just like the one Charlotte had in SATC.
“Kento! It’s just like Charlotte York’s!” you exclaimed, a mix of joy and nostalgia filling your voice. “I love it.”
Nanami’s smile warmed, his eyes holding a gentle pride as he watched your reaction. Wrapped in his arms, you could not wait for the future where your little family was just a little bigger.
———
A month later, you and Nanami had already begun planning for the baby. The spare room, which had once served as your closet overflow space, was slowly being transformed into a nursery.
“Pastel yellow for the walls, please. We don’t know the gender yet!” You inform the painter who just gave you a caring smile. You felt almost giddy with joy from the past month. Every evening, Nanami and you would sit together, pouring over lists of essentials, talking about baby names, and picturing what life would be like as parents.
As you left the painter to begin painting the walls, you suddenly felt a sharp pang in your stomach. You suddenly felt uneasiness in your stomach. The sharp pang brought you to a standstill, your hand instinctively moving to cradle your stomach. You took a shaky breath, trying to convince yourself it was nothing—just an ordinary cramp, something minor. But the feeling lingered, gnawing and unsettling, and your heart sank as worry took root.
Nanami was at work, so you texted him quickly, keeping it light: “Feeling a bit off, but I’m sure it’s fine.” You didn't want to alarm him, and part of you wanted to believe it was nothing to worry about. But when the pain returned, sharper this time, you found yourself reaching for your phone again, and before you knew it, you were calling him.
“Hey,” he answered, his voice immediately shifting to concern. “What’s wrong?”
You hesitated, not wanting to voice the fear building inside of you. “I… I think something might be wrong,” you whispered, the words tasting bitter and strange. “Can you come home?”
He promised he’d be there as soon as possible, and you could hear the worry in his voice even as he tried to stay calm for your sake. Waiting for him felt endless, each second stretching longer as the uneasiness grew into dread. You wanted to believe that everything was fine, that it was just your mind playing tricks on you.
———
When Nanami finally arrived, he rushed to your side, taking one look at you before pulling you into his arms. “Let’s go,” he said softly, guiding you to the car, his hand firmly in yours the entire time. The drive to the hospital was quiet, tense. He kept glancing over at you, giving your hand small, reassuring squeezes, his jaw tight, though he kept his worry hidden as best he could.
At the hospital, things happened too quickly and yet painfully slow—machines, concerned faces, hushed voices. They asked you questions, too many questions, and you barely had the energy to answer. All you could feel was the coldness of the room, the heaviness pressing in on you. Nanami held your hand the entire time, his presence grounding you as you waited, desperate for answers, but terrified of what they might say.
When the doctor finally spoke, her voice gentle and filled with the kind of sympathy you’d hoped you’d never have to hear, the words barely registered at first. “I’m so sorry… but unfortunately, you’ve lost the baby.” Her voice was soft, but the words struck like a hammer, shattering the fragile hope you’d clung to.
You stared at her, numb, unable to comprehend what she was saying. Beside you, Nanami’s grip tightened on your hand, his face pale as he absorbed the news, his eyes brimming with the same disbelief, the same anguish that you felt. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. Instead, he simply pulled you close, holding you tightly as you both fell apart.
———
Back home, the apartment felt different—empty, echoing with a silence that seemed to mock the joy and laughter that had filled it just days before. The room that had started becoming a nursery now felt haunting, a reminder of the life you’d imagined, a future that had vanished before it had even truly begun. You stood in the doorway, staring at the freshly painted yellow walls, feeling like a stranger in a place that had once held so much hope.
“Well, I guess there was no need to pay the painter to do the walls that colour. ” You said, your voice strained.
Nanami wrapped his arms around you from behind, his face buried in your shoulder as he whispered, “I’m so sorry… I wish I could take this pain away from you.”
You reached up, placing your hand over his, tears spilling down your cheeks. “I wanted this so much,” you choked out, your voice cracking. “I wanted to give us a family. I wanted—” Your words faltered, lost in the ache that seemed to consume every part of you.
He turned you around to face him, his own eyes red-rimmed, tears slipping silently down his cheeks. “It’s not your fault,” he said, his voice filled with a fierce, quiet determination.
But you couldn’t bear to look at him. “But it is,” you choked out, pulling back, the weight of guilt pressing down on you. “I couldn’t do the one thing I was supposed to do. I couldn’t give us a baby.” Your voice broke, and the words spilled out, raw and painful. You turned away from his reach, feeling a need to retreat, to let the numbness consume you. “I’m… I’m going to bed,” you murmured, barely recognising your own voice.
“Y/N…” Nanami called out, walking towards you.
“Please.” You cried out, “I need to be alone right now.”
———
The next few days were a blur. People came by, offering condolences, leaving flowers, cards, and soft words meant to soothe. But none of it reached you. Nothing could fill the empty hole in your heart. You felt as if you’d never be whole again, as if nothing could bring colour back into your world.
“She hasn’t left the bedroom in three days,” Nanami said quietly in the kitchen, his voice heavy with worry. His gaze lingered on the closed door of your bedroom. “There’s nothing I can say or do to get her out.”
Gojo, Geto, Shoko, and Utahime exchanged worried glances from where they sat in the living room, concern etched deeply on their faces. After a moment, Utahime took a breath and nodded, determination sparking in her eyes. “Let us try,” she said, standing up and urging Shoko to follow her.
They approached your bedroom door, knocking softly before opening it just a crack. Inside, they found you lying motionless on the bed, staring blankly into the dim shadows. You hadn’t touched your phone, hadn’t moved much at all. Even the warmth of your blankets felt oppressive, weighing you down like a heavy fog.
“Can we come in?” Utahime asked gently, her voice a soft, steady presence.
You didn’t respond, and the silence stretched on, but they took it as permission, quietly entering and sitting down on either side of the bed. Shoko rested a comforting hand on your shoulder, while Utahime sat beside you, a silent, patient presence.
“Everyone’s really worried about you,” Shoko murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. “You don’t have to go through this alone, you know.”
You swallowed, throat tight, their words stirring something deep within you—a tangled knot of grief and shame. “I just… I don’t know how to get past this,” you admitted, your voice hoarse.
Utahime’s expression softened as she reached over, taking your hand in hers. “No one’s expecting you to be ‘over it,’” she said gently. “But shutting us out, pushing everyone away… it’s only going to make it harder.”
The weight of her words pressed on you, but you shook your head slowly, retreating further into yourself. “I’m sorry… I just can’t.”
Seeing your hesitation, Shoko and Utahime exchanged a glance. They gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze, a reminder of their presence, and eventually retreated, leaving you alone in the quiet.
Later, Gojo and Geto took their turn, determined to draw you out of the darkness that had swallowed you. They knocked lightly and entered, each trying to bring a sense of comfort and normalcy with them. Gojo made a few jokes, his tone soft but hopeful, while Geto spoke quietly, sharing small memories and moments that they thought might bring you some solace.
But no matter what they tried, you remained closed off, your eyes fixed on the floor, barely responding. Nothing they said seemed to reach you, as if you were wrapped in an impenetrable cocoon of sorrow.
Finally, Gojo sighed, his usual confidence softened by helplessness. “We’re here whenever you’re ready,” he said gently, his eyes searching your face. “Just… don’t shut us out forever, alright?”
You didn’t respond, but his words echoed in the silence as they quietly left, the room growing colder and quieter in their absence.
———
A few days later, Nanami sat across from you in the quiet of the living room, his formal suit neatly pressed, though his face was creased with hesitation. He had been invited to a gala event for his company, but he seemed reluctant to leave, his gaze drifting back to you, worry etched in his eyes.
“I don’t have to go,” he said softly, his hand resting on yours. “I can stay here with you.”
“No, please go.” You smile faintly, touching his hand.
He stared at you for a while, trying to make out what you were thinking. “Fine. But text me throughout the night, so I know you’re okay.” He stood up trying to find his tie.
You managed a faint nod, only half hearing him. Your eyes had caught on something across the room—the Tiffany baby rattle, resting on a shelf. The very one Nanami had surprised you with all those weeks ago. It was a quiet symbol of a future you’d both dreamed of, a future that felt so close, once.
Your chest tightened as you stared at the toy, a flood of emotions rushing in—grief, yes, but something else as well. A part of you ached to hold onto the sorrow, to stay hidden away from the world. But looking at the tiny rattle, you felt an unexpected warmth stir within you. The memory of that hope, that dream, wasn’t gone. It wasn’t erased.
You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your grief soften, just enough for you to breathe without it pressing down on you. And as you exhaled, something inside you whispered that maybe it was time to step forward, even if it felt impossible. You weren’t ready to let go completely, but you could try to live with the memory, rather than solely in the grief of it.
As you peered over at Nanami who had changed into his white shirt and was standing opposite a mirror, tying his tie. You couldn’t help but feel a surge of love and affection. He was your husband, for better or for worse.
“I think…” you began, surprising even yourself with the words. You looked up at Nanami, who was watching you with a mix of worry and gentle encouragement. “I think I want to go with you.”
He blinked, clearly taken aback, but a small, hopeful smile spread across his face. “Are you sure?”
You nodded, a tiny, tentative smile pulling at your lips. “I don’t want to be alone tonight. I… I think I need to try.”
Nanami’s relief was palpable as he took your hand, squeezing it warmly. Without another word, he guided you to your room, gently setting out a gown you’d worn before—a piece that made you feel elegant, strong. You took your time, steadying yourself as you got ready, every small step a quiet victory.
By the time you emerged, Nanami’s smile had widened, his pride evident as he took in the sight of you. He offered you his arm, and you took it, feeling a newfound strength, a fragile but determined spark within you.
As you left together, you felt, for the first time, a sliver of hope breaking through the clouds.
#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk angst#kento nanami#kento x y/n#kento x reader#nanami x reader#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami angst
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Tashi’s Jealousy and Possessiveness
*originally posted on Reddit*
I like how Tashi’s jealousy and possessiveness manifests itself in different ways.
Patrick: We see her jealousy and possessiveness in the way we are used to seeing it. At 19, we see her get visibly upset over Art suggesting Patrick may not be loyal and that he may not love her. I think this possessiveness started when they first got together when she asked him not to tell anyone or she’d stop seeing him. It meant something to her because I think Patrick was her first serious relationship. In the original screenplay, Tashi mentions to Patrick in the Atlanta scene, that her dad hated his guts because as far as he was concerned, Patrick was the boy who ruined Tashi’s life. In the film, we see Tashi mention her parents didn’t want her to go to boarding school for a multitude of reasons, one being distracted by boys like Patrick and Art. Tashi’s cross necklace also pointed me in this direction. I would remiss if I didn’t point out the chaotic hypocrisy. Challengers has strong motifs of repeated behaviors coming in cycles of 3 and specifically with Tashi’s relationship with Patrick- cheating together has always been inevitable. Patrick cheated on his girlfriend with Tashi and Art at the Junior US Open, Tashi and Patrick cheated in Atlanta, and Tashi and Patrick cheated in New Rochelle. Each time, Tashi attempts to ignore Patrick’s luring charm and fails spectacularly. Our girl is nothing but consistent and I can’t say I would’ve fared much better. The specific jealousy part of it is fascinating to me. Tashi gets irritated with Art over the simple idea of imagining Patrick being with other girls on tour or being filled with quiet, simmering anger when she sees Patrick with Helen at the hotel bar, and even making a snarky comment when Patrick mentions he’s still staying at Helen’s house. But we never see her jealous when Patrick is with Art. Tashi only smiles and cheers when they’re together, she’s devastated when Art tells her they fell out of touch, and she’s pissed off when Patrick tries to put Art down in the alleyway. Patrick and Art are just as much of each other’s as they are her’s. What pops out at me also in the midst of this, is seeing Patrick both excite and frighten Tashi. Here is someone who can see through her facade she puts on, calls her out on it, still thinks she’s hot, and loves her anyway. I can easily see why that would scare her. It’s not secret that Tashi loves to be in control in any and all aspects of her life. Patrick disrupts that and gets under her skin like no one else does. It’s not a feeling she’s used to. She’s probably used to getting praise from others like Art (though I think his is so raw and genuine) or ignoring the not so glamorous parts of who Tashi is as a person. Patrick doesn’t allow for that and it drives her (and Art) crazy.
Art: We see her jealousy and possessiveness in a unique way. Tashi is simmering with jealousy over Art being able to heal from his surgery with no issue. The thing really withholding Art in the present, is his emotional and mental exhaustion from a myriad of things. Art still gets to play the sport that Tashi lives and dies for and it drives her crazy that Art’s heart doesn’t seem fully in it. She tries to do everything in her power to help him get his confidence back despite saying she can’t do that for him. Art is her avatar in tennis. His body is her’s and through him, she can still play the sport snd accomplish her dreams. The idea of hanging up her racquet is unfathomable. Tennis is so intertwined in her soul. The question rises who is Tashi to the world without tennis? Tashi clearly wants to delay that answer as long as she can. This possessiveness and jealousy unravels when the night before the final match. I honestly think Tashi’s conversation with Patrick opened her heart. As much it hurts to leave tennis, I think she’s finally fully allowing herself to see it from Art’s perspective. He’s tired. I think in the best way an emotionally repressed person can, I do think she does try to reassure and comfort him by saying he doesn’t need her permission. It’s okay and he can retire. What throws Tashi for a loop is when Art questions her being okay with it, he was expecting and hoping for similar argument he had with Patrick, something to fuel him. I think he wanted Tashi to neg him in a similar way. Tashi and Patrick are extremely similar but there are key differences. As much as Tashi can be quite brutal with her words when talking to Patrick about his tennis career, we don’t see her be as harsh with Art. In fact, Tashi highlights his skills and praises him. Tashi doesn’t really neg Art and we can see why. She goes too far with her statement. At first, she looks visibly ill before and after she says it. Topped off by her rubbing Art’s head, asking if that helps him. This makes Tashi spiral into desperation with her feelings all over the place. I think she’s too stubborn to take her words back so she comes up with a last ditch effort plan to get Patrick to throw the match so Art can win. So she doesn’t have to lose Art or tennis. The chaos of this act is logically speaking, Tashi could’ve texted or called Patrick. Getting in the car in the middle of the night with the your ex that you’ve been passively aggressively flirting with and gotten jealous over is setting yourself up for failure. But Tashi’s feelings and intentions are all jumbled up because she’s desperately trying to cling on to tennis and she isn’t ready to leave it or them because she cannot have it without Art or Patrick.
It isn’t that Tashi isn’t herself around Art, she is. How I’ve read it, is that the two of them are deeply repressed in several areas of their lives so there is a wall of passivity between them in addition to the current lack of passion in their marriage and the pedestals they put each other on. They’re both fully aware of each other’s flaws and the issues in their marriage but they dance around it until the bedroom scene. With Patrick specifically, I was thinking about him saying to Tashi “You like precisely one thing about me. It’s the fact that I’m such a piece of shit that I can see you for exactly who you are.” In the original script, Patrick mentions he didn’t treat her like a mystical being who was going to change his life. I believe that he is Tashi’s twin flame/mirror. To me, Tashi is a more raw, unfiltered version of herself when it comes to Patrick. He pushes back and challenges her, which is something I don’t think Tashi is quite used to in her life when she first meets him. I think what’s also notable to me is whenever Tashi and Patrick talk, they’re saying the most raw unhinged things but they aren’t beating around the bush with each other. It’s fun foreplay for them. But unlike with Art (for the both of them), they struggle to surrender to the deeper feeling of love, longing, and surrender. Being vulnerable and soft with each other doesn’t come easy to them. Ultimately looking at it from Tashi’s perspective, she can be herself around both of these men but displays different aspects of her true self.
#tashi duncan#tashi donaldson#tashi#challengers movie#patashi#artashi#ArtTashiPatrick#zendaya#challengers#challengers 2024
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Headcanon for me:
Post-AGIT Dan doesn’t cling to his biological parents. Based on what he says and does in "The Ultimate Enemy," he doesn’t show anything particularly special toward them. In fact, Maddie’s actions toward him felt a bit harsh to me, especially when she said, “He is not my son!” in AGIT. (Of course, I completely understand why she acted like that—they nearly got killed by him, the city was destroyed, and they don’t remember Dan’s original timeline.)
(And given that half of him is Plasmius, maybe it feels odd for him to see Maddie and Jack as his parents.)
Jazz, though, was different. To be fair, her circumstances were different from those of her parents. She fully understood who Dan was (even though her parents technically knew too, they seemed to view him only on a superficial level). Jazz even had(more specifically, remember) direct experience meeting him before. The first person to show interest in talking to Dan and sparing him was Jazz. Her feelings toward Dan were not just out of mercy, but closer to familyship, I think. Mercy wouldn’t be much use when the one you’re sparing is far stronger than you. Humans weren't exactly in a position to show mercy to him. Jazz believed that Danny was inherently good, so she thought Dan was one who could be persuaded. Before Danny tried to spare him, she was the only one who’d been willing to.
I imagine Dan’s feelings toward Danny and Vlad are far more complicated. I believe that at his core, Dan’s main feeling is self-hatred. He probably hates the part of himself (Danny) that lost everything he once loved, and his Plasmius side only amplifies that feeling.
At the same time, Dan must feel jealousy toward Danny. Danny has the second chance that Dan never got—he used Dan as a warning and went on to build a better future. In AGIT, we see Dan’s feelings go beyond just hate; his anger toward Danny seems to be fueled by jealousy. After his world vanished, the one clear goal Dan had left was to destroy Danny and make him feel that same despair.
As for Vlad, I think Dan might have at least some positive feelings for him. Of course, Dan was once Danny, and in his timeline, Vlad probably bullied (?) him like always. But when Dan lost everything, Vlad was the one who took him in and cared for him like his father. Even Vlad’s actions that led to creating Dan weren’t out of malice but came at Danny’s request, as Danny was suffering so much. I imagine Vlad really did his best to look after him in that timeline.
That said, Dan could never fully love Vlad. Being partly Plasmius himself, Dan knows Vlad’s darker (or weaker) sides all too well. And, after all, it was Vlad’s actions that led to such a terrible outcome, even if he had no evil intent.
The irony is that the two people who ultimately saved him were Danny and Vlad. His parents only saw Dan as a dangerous ghost, while Danny, understanding Dan’s feelings, didn’t want to hurt him. In the end, it was Danny and Vlad’s actions that saved Dan and gave him that second chance he’d longed for. So, after AGIT, I imagine Dan becomes a little friendlier but still can’t fully accept them, holding onto a slightly bitter attitude. Now that his deepest self has been exposed, we might see him as a sensitive, wounded spirit rather than his formerly confident self. Still, his existence is a shared responsibility for Danny and Vlad, and they’ll do their best to help him find happiness and enjoy this second chance. Maybe one day, Dan may open his heart to them.
#danny phantom#dark danny#jazz fenton#agit#post agit#And Dani is a chaos gremlin to him either#but she is lovely so we cannot help but love her#non ship#headcanon#vlad masters
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My tiny mountain town is a blue dot swallowed up in a sea of red. Our statistically-irrelevant town went for Harris. The larger counties around us all went for Trump. Here’s what this election looked like in the southeastern Appalachian on the front lines of that cultural divide:
Outright unprosecuted voter intimidation: in the few blocks walk from my house to downtown, I can see a prop skeleton dressed as a Harris supporter hanging from a noose, and Harris yard signs slashed with a knife, others just ripped down to the cardboard.
Gerrymandering - years ago, these little-known poorer districts were redrawn around population centers in ways that give likely Republican strongholds more weight, particularly in rural areas like mine. Republican lawmakers literally have opened prisons in rural counties in my state to artificially inflate population numbers with people who can’t vote due to their felon status to tip the scales.
Of course, the Electoral college, where US votes are decided by weight of a state’s respective collective population and importance rather than just the counted individuals votes
I’m not making excuses. I echo the rest of the world’s collective disgust and horror about the outcome. I am literally sick with my country. People will die because of this. People who don’t live here, people who didn’t get a choice or stake in the US elections, and who probably wish they’d never heard of the place. And people in my own community.
Yet it is so easy to picture this election as the ultimate triumph of laziness and inattention, particularly in “ignorant hillbilly” places like where I live, which generally go for Trump without any fight - at least not one that shows up on an election night map. But the Republican right has been working for decades to put the legal, economic, and societal pressures that lead to this in place here.
We fought hard. Grassroots campaigners, our organizers of LGBTQIA+ groups, leaders in our communities who showed up despite the fact that it put a target on their backs if shit went bad. Teachers fighting Republican-led mandates of ignorance and racism to choke out any thinking that might interfere with their political goals for their ideal voter base. Librarians who get death threats for having kid’s books dealing with gender or queerness in the public libraries.
These are not imagined examples, these are things that happen to real people I know in my tiny blue community. And the violent, right-wing party, the party that promised to make this second Trump term one of revenge and retribution, knows who those people are too.
The Charlottesville “Ignite the Right” attack happened in my backyard. I had friends on that street when a self-described neo nazi drove into a crowd and killed Heather Heyer and injured 35 others. Trump was president when it happened; he called the alt-right who invaded Charlottesville with guns and armor and torches that day “good people.”
I have no faith in my party now. It feels like we’re still trying to play a game we lost years ago, while the other side is busy winning a new game, one where they get to make up all the rules.
I realize that there are greater global trends at play - incumbents being ousted, a swing to the right, post-pandemic economic scrambles - larger issues than the difficulties of voter suppression in my rural American communities. I'm not in a great mindset to consider them this week. I've been politically active since I was old enough to vote, and it feels like we always build so much momentum and then slam facefirst into this fucking invisible wall.
Honestly? I’m so tired and depressed and anxious, I feel like I can barely function right now. At the same time, I’m disgusted by my own despair and whining. What gives me the right to stop trying now, when so many people across the globe are facing the same anger and exhaustion? When so many people are in more active danger, with less options than I have?
Anyway, I wanted to write something out about the election, maybe just to let go of the words and get them out of me. I'm a queer politically active liberal in a Republican-dominated rural space. Next week, I'll read all the posts about hard work and hope and building support networks. This week, I just need a fucking minute on the floor.
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you just want attention. I see rite through you
Dogs do like attention…..
#ask pirateprincessjess#arf arf#no but seriously#of course i like the attention#I can’t imagine posting this much if I didn’t?
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people who complain about fandom gender and sexuality hcs annoy me tbh. “if the creators wanted more queer characters they would have said so” have you considered that’s not the point the point is it’s just fun!! it’s fun to assign your own traits to characters so you can see yourself in them!! it’s fun to come up with gender headcanons and play around with how the character would present themselves!! it’s fun to assign characters orientations and come up with how they define themselves!! it’s fun to not even come up with context and story around it and just say they’re trans or gay or lesbian or non-binary or a xenogender or aroace or whatever!!! it can be fun!!! live a little!! goddamn!!
#mono’s stuff#just because there is one queer character does not mean there can’t be more either. there isn’t a limit on queerness.#just because the creators didn’t make more queer characters doesn’t mean people can’t imagine others as queer as well#people come up with other hcs too!!! i see other kinds of hcs all the time like. cmon#does this count as vague posting idk#if it’s not your thing that’s *fine* but it’s just a fun thing people do. it does not have to be much deeper than that#gender and sexuality hcs and explorations of that can be really interesting and fun man
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life comes at you so fast
#tw personal#tw death#tw cancer#not my usual silly goofy post but it’s hard to remain that way when there’s a lot weighing on your mind#cancer sucks#and it’s unfair how quickly it can take people from us#one moment they seem fine and the next they’re in the icu with a week left to live#he passed two nights ago#i wasn’t planning to post about it but i have the tendency to disassociate from my grief#so here i am instead of wherever the hell!#it’s heartbreaking because he and his wife weren’t just my mum’s bosses - they were long-time friends#i have clear childhood memories of playing at their house with their son#his youngest child is only 3 years old#as soon as he found out he started giving his final messages to his staff#obviously nobody wants to die in that situation#but you could feel how much he *wanted to live*#when i was told about his death it was in the morning and it didn’t feel real#every time i had seen him in the last year he always had a smile on his face#it’s always been hard for me to deal with the prospect of death#and understand how fragile life is#how REAL mortality is#it hits even harder when it happens to someone who was so FULL of life#sighs#life comes at you fast#sometimes in all directions and in every possible and testing way imaginable#i’ve been trying to write and feel any sense of normalcy this evening but for a multitude of reasons i have a sinking feeling in my stomach#sometimes when i’m upset i try recycle the feeling into excitement or happiness over something else#yeah … i can’t really do that tonight#apologies if my energy is bleh. hold your loved ones close. now i return you to my regular scheduled programming
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Upon further inspection…I’m probably demiromantic
#I’ve been thinking about it#And it makes a lot of sense#Because yeah when I met the guy I currently have a crush on I thought he was attractive and I was like “Oh I certainly see the potential”#But I didn’t have a CRUSH on him until after we were friends for like 2 months#And then I became DOWN BAD a few months ago-ish and that was after we’d been friends for a whole year#And also?? I can’t imagine dating anyone who isn’t my friend first??#Like how can you just go up to someone you saw in public and ask them out#You don’t even know them#How can you go out and fall in love with someone you don’t even know#IS THIS WHY I WAS NODDING ALONG TO ROSALIND IN FLF#Guys I think I just realized why I like the friends-to-lovers trope so much#demiromantic#arospec#personal post
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mousefur and longtail are both asexual aromantic in some sort of qpr relationship with one another. Do you get it do you see my vision
#They’re life partners. One does not want to be without the other. But romantic and. The other kind of feeling are totally void from it#Is it still a queer platonic relationship if it’s a man and a woman that are ace/aro? I THINK so because the ace aro is the queer part#So that’s what I’m calling it!#when I was a kid I saw them as a romantic couple because I was very. Dense and basic on my views of things#(Ie I didn’t know gay people existed until I saw it in Undertale)#BUT. Mousefur is very obviously ace aro. And longtail also never takes a mate or has any romantic involvements or kits#So as an informed adult™️ I think this fits much better#Also I had forgotten about the fact mousefur was the one who first mentioned wasting prey. And that’s what made longtail go back#And get crushed by the falling tree. FUCK dude that’s so heavy#Imagine accidentally killing ur life partner because you said out loud you didn’t want to waste food#All this over a shrew? Was it worth it? I miss you. I’m so sorry.#HHHHHHHH#AND they’re both vaguely xenophobic! Made for each other 😔💖#I can’t remember if longtail gets better or not post. Getting his shit kicked in by baby firestar#About like. OTHER kittypets. But I KNOW Mousefur doesn’t#Is it still asexual awareness week? It is right?? Happy week aces!! I bring you… qpr cats#warriors#warrior cats#mousefur#longtail
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I keep thinking about what the fourth would be like the summer after Vecna is defeated
I think about how everyone is kinda nervous about getting fireworks after everything but Wayne and Eddie have a tradition of lighting fireworks together and after everything they have been through the group decides “ehhh worth a shot” and besides it’ll be something nice for their two newest members
Eddie’s the one who gets all the fireworks and it’s things called, like, “nuclear war fair” and “the Big One tm” and one shaped like a taco. Needless to say Eddie is NOT allowed to light them.
However Hopper refuses to light them because he’s had to deal with too many idiots blowing themselves sky high in the name of patriotism and wants nothing to do with it.
So the duty falls to Steve.
Steve who takes his sweet ass time walking away once he’s lit the fuse and stands concerningly close, arms crossed, still holding the lighter.
Hey, if he had to launch rockets at a melted-people-monster while high off his ass and beat to high hell he can handle these glorified sparklers.
#stranger things#eddie munson#wayne munson#jim hopper#fireworks#Eddie thinks it’s hot#Hopper thinks Steve needs therapy#post season 4#mentions of drugs#and whatever the fuck was going on in season three#it doesn’t come up but I think Eddie specifically looked for cool looking fireworks that weren’t supposed to make a lot of noise#because he’s considerate like that#forth of july#drabble#also I imagine the lighter is a shitty bic one that barely works#he didn’t wanna ruin Joyce’s good barbecue lighter#it gives everyone so much anxiety when he just sits there launching sparks from it right next to a pile of explosives#based loosely off my dad who for some reason is apparently convinced that fireworks can’t hurt him
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Michael being rough with Evan and ruining how he views horseplay. Evan has to set clear boundaries because even when Michael was being nice he was grabbing and pushing and shoving and smacking at his hands. Because even if his friends are being nice it doesn’t FEEL nice because it’s just like him. And he doesn’t wanna ruin anything but he has to explain how it makes him feel when people push him around. I think maybe one day he’d be okay with it but right now boundaries matter more than anything. You need to set them and obey them before you consider taking a step past them, and if he tells you to back up you have to. He’s spent his whole life getting his boundaries ignored and it is not a good feeling
#idk just thinking abt a post Percy made#saying that mike didn’t beat up Evan but would be rough with him#and I thought the same and lately I’ve been thinking about how THAT would affect evan#tzu rambles#also ppl being too rough sucks in itself#my siblings r rough a lot but never in mean spirit#so I can’t imagine how much it’d suck to get that from someone who genuinely hates you#evan afton#the crying child
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when i remember the tradition of giving your partner or some other loved one a few of your shed scales the way humans do with locks of hair i wish that made me think aw how sweet but instead it mostly makes me think how embarrassing it felt going through my bedding trying to fucking find any
#and trying to be subtle too. yeah i’m just going through my bedding so carefully every single night because… um…… bugs?#i’d just recently had my second growth spurt which made me shed so much too but of course i’d not had any use. and been a bit busy!#also i swear to god the silver scales didn’t shed as often or something#because there were basically never *any*#do you have any idea how long finding like two took me#original#kin memories#wof kin#dragonkin#(i can’t imagine this tradition didn’t develop independently in different settings)#(reading about a somewhat similar one with feathers is i think what sparked this memory originally..? i think that was a worldbuildimg post)#(i don’t know something like that)
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No post-gig IG post from Muse after Rock Werchter. Silence from photographers too. They’re not pleased about what happened last night huh.
#Even JAR didn’t post any pics after the show#Although he just posted a vague pic a very short while ago of him editing some footage so idk maybe there’s more admin to getting#Festival footage cleared or something? I don’t know. Anyway no posts from Muse in a first in a long time.#Hope they don’t let it get them too down like. Maybe some people at a festival crowd didn’t recognise Showbiz but Muse fans#I’m sure really appreciated the thought they put into it!!!#Plus they’re professional and reasonable folks; they would know there’s not much they can do about stuff that’s beyond their control#Suspect it was a curfew thing— you run over and there are timed things that take half your rig’s power out?#Can’t recall most festivals bc we haven’t seen them but iirc last year at Rock Am Ring too they ran over slightly#Again into KoC but they were allowed to finish smoothly. I wonder if that’s something Muse are annoyed about?#To my knowledge never in 25 years of Muse has a song been restarted twice in the same night so there’s that.#They’re usually excellent at running a tight set.#Anyway I hope we’re able to get the point across to them that we loved them and last night’s show was great!#And Showbiz was very welcome too <3#muse band#muse#rock werchter 2023#alsp the thing is Muse do Rock Werchter almos every single year so I imagine not having had trouble with them in 23 years past#Is probably annoying them a little. A matter of trust etc. Anyway it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay. It was genuinely a great set#Matt’s voice sounded exceptional last night#muse live
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going all out tonight (*opens the croutons bag with their teeth*)
#sneaky niki#lamb loose liveblogging#hot take of this writing session: SDY is Regina George coded#which means HDS is Cady (with a sprinkle of Janice)#I’ve said my piece#but in my fic they’re at the end of the movie. when Regina is playing lacrosse (lesbian behavior) but Cady didn’t go back to her old life#and SDY may not have worn a 10.000 $ blonde wig but his natural hair is worth TWICE as much at least#and HDS may not have lost a bracelet from Africa but when he ditched the glasses his Plastic was showing#I can’t imagine KOJ as Gretchen or Karen but it sure sounds fun to think about#so these are the vibes for tonight#I’m so glad I could post ch 4 before valentine’s day#but now I gotta rush and finish ch 11 draft at the very least 😥#I’ll try my best. I have croutons on my side#they will give me strength
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prev post I don’t want to bother op with this but. that is why s5 lucifer is so good too.
#ex. hammer of the gods. I mean he’s fucking gleeful about the massacre. he’s having fun.#and then this is the same episode that ends with him in tears and breathing shakily over his brother#and there’s no one watching. this is not a performance. he is just. he’s grieving.#and idk!! compelling!!!#joke post yesterday about Lucifer crying more onscreen#but actually it was not a joke I would have killed for more moments like this#late seasons lucifer could have been redeemed for me if like. we just had scenes where he stopped for a minute.#like maybe when he hears about Raphael’s death. maybe when Chuck refuses to pull Michael out of the cage with Lucifer.#and just fucking!!!! let him mourn them in privacy!!!!!!!!#like it’s not much but that would have added a little depth to his spiral!!!!! he’s alone!!!! he’s the only one alive and free!!!!#ahhhh late seasons lucifer who is exactly the same when around the human characters or demons because he just. doesn’t care anymore.#but when it comes to Heaven. to his remaining siblings. he puts in the effort to care about them.#you know just like how much better would it have been if Lucifer was completely and utterly genuine in his attempts to create new angels#and he just couldn’t. he didn’t know he couldn’t and he finds out because he’s trying and he can’t.#nothing much has to change he can still get kicked out for ‘lying’ about being able to.#whos’s going to believe him when he says he didn’t know?#and now imagine a version of Jack & Lucifer’s relationship coming off the crux of that#Jack is the last ditch attempt at creation. the breaking point.#I’m rambling but you see it. you see it right? the desperate grasping at something he could never get back?#the way everything would clash. if he treated Jack with love. but everything else could burn for all he cared.#cause Jack was it. he tried to make angels and failed but he DID make Jack.#and the winchesters trying to keep his son away from him? turn Jack against him? he might. break. about that.#like I’m saying if you kept the basic plot structure of the final seasons and just made tiny adjustments to Lucifer’s character#not even really his actions just his motivations!!! BOOM!!!! fucking!!!!! better show!!!!!!#anyway this has been speculation with will come back at 8 and I’ll talk about the bunker being a mushroom#spn#Lucifer spn
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#my team captain found my situationship on lesbian tinder this is the wildest crossover i ever could have imagined 💀💀#like. okay! we didn’t talk about whether we were exclusive or not! okay maybe she’s on tinder jsut for fun!!#i literally can’t stand lesbians (she’s the only thing on my mind always. i like her stupid much. this is weird)#how am i supposed to feel about this dawg#personal posting
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