#I can’t escape vampire Elvis

[dreamingofep]

Oh these vampire vibes are so good😈 🫠

elvis preforming at the LV international (7-31-69) 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

gives off some vamp elvis vibes + him in black is 🤤🤤🤤

[dreamingofep]

Sinned Awakening pt. 26 🩸

An AU Elvis fic

(Vampire!Elvis/ Vampire Austin! Elvis x reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: Getting promoted to be Elvis full time housekeeper, you realize the man holds secrets beyond beliet and your undeniable attraction makes you tear the unknown. [Fem!Reader]

TW: Cussing, tension, ANGST, smut, mentions of blood/gore!!!

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5.4k

A/N: Hello everyone!! Enjoy this new part! It’s a bit shorter than normal but it’s because the next chapter is a MONSTER and I had to break it up somehow! Some questions are going to be answered and some other things are going to be uncovered😈

If you'd like to start from the beginning, start here or Ao3! hope you enjoy and message and comment what you think.

A reminder, this is Vampire!Elvis so there is going to be mentions of blood/gore from here on out. If that's not your thing, sorry but it's needed for the story.

You now understand why Elvis considered not sleeping as part of his ‘curse’. There was no escaping your thoughts and it was just endless noise that played in your head. It was hard to focus on the things you wanted to hear because you had nothing to put your focus on. You were getting the hang of focusing on the sound of Elvis’ heart when he was here, but now he was so far away you couldn’t hear him anymore.

You don’t know how long you cried, it felt like forever. You just wanted him back here so you could apologize and make things right. The empty pit inside your heart ached for him. Despite the distance, you felt him ache for you too. You knew he was out there feeling the same longing you were experiencing. You prayed he’d be back in a day or so to talk things out and figure out how you guys can find answers on your new life.

But he doesn’t come back the next day, or the day after that. One full week drags on and no one has heard from him. Not even a phone call. You grew desperate for him, needing him to be here with you and hold you again. You were lonely and most importantly scared. You hadn’t even been away from him this long and you were worried.

None of the guys were hanging around the house lately and if they did stop by to check in on you, it was the same answer when you asked them if they heard anything from him. Jerry was the only one that hung around the most. He knew how worried you were even though you kept assuring him you were fine.

“Maybe I should go out there looking for him… what if he needs me,” you suggest to him one day.

“Where would you begin to look for him? E would kill us if he knew we let you out there by yourself,” he says worriedly.

“I’m stronger than all of you right now!” You snap. He swallows uncomfortably and looks away from you. You instantly feel bad and apologize.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap like that. I just mean, I could take care of myself,” you try to explain.

“I understand, there’s no doubt you would win in any fight with us but you don’t have any control over your abilities,” he says gently. “You’re kind of a loose cannon lately,” he jokes.

You can’t help but laugh and have to agree, you had no idea what could tick you off if you mingled with other humans you didn’t know.

“No, you’re right,” you sigh, “well maybe you can come with me?”

He pauses and considers the proposal, weighing the pros and cons of this idea.

“Elvis is my best friend. I’d do anything for him. Hell, I let him bite me. But most importantly, you’re his other half. I’ll go anywhere you go,” he says sweetly.

“But I think we should give him a bit more time. If he doesn’t come back in a few days, we’ll start looking for him,” he says.

“Okay, sounds good,” you say with a smile, thankful he’s on board with the plan.

You tried to put your time into reading all the books Elvis had on vampires. Anything to help you understand what was going on with you. Or what was going on with him? The books couldn’t keep your full attention, however. Too much worry plagued your mind and certain topics in these books disturbed you. The human part of you became squeamish when you read about the more gruesome things like how to kill a vampire. You couldn’t bring yourself to read what was in those passages. It made you physically sick to think of anyone ever trying to hurt Elvis. You hoped Jerry was right, he was just out there looking for answers to understand why you changed the way you did and what else you needed to survive.

You didn’t have an appetite while you were worrying about him so much. You weren’t eating like you should have and it had been days since you drank any blood. There was this dark part of you that craved to have Elvis’. You could barely remember what he tasted like from when you first bit him, but everything inside you screamed to bite him. It was extremely frustrating that this incessant voice in your head was begging to have him when he was God knows where.

The next few days pass slowly, and still no sign of him. You couldn’t sit in this house any longer not doing anything useful. You weren’t going to let Elvis shut you out and get himself into trouble out there. You started to gather a bag full of things you might need on your journey. You tell Elvis’ housekeepers you’ll be back soon, but don’t give them an exact date you’ll be back because you didn’t even know yourself. They had worried looks on their faces they couldn’t hide and you hated to see them worry.

You wait for Jerry in the living room, double-checking that you both have everything you need.

“Any idea where we’re going to start looking? He can be anywhere,” he says jokingly.

“Well, hopefully, he’s not too far and we can find him quickly. I just want him home. If he still didn’t find any help, we’ll go together and help him,” you say matter-of-factly. “I guess I should follow my instincts, follow the bond that tethers us together.”

“Let’s go, you know I won’t question anything you say,” he says grabbing his bag he pack and slinging it over his shoulder.

Your attention gets pulled away from the conversation and your head snaps to look at the front door like a magnet. You heard a heartbeat. A loud, melodious heartbeat, beating only for you. It was one you could recognize from anywhere.

Elvis.

You rush to open the door and see him, looking as good as ever walking up the steps to the house. His hair was slicked back, showcasing his handsome face. His eyes were still golden and more captivating than ever. He had this boyish innocence in his eye though, like he was silently pleading for you to forgive him for being gone so long. You could feel how happy he was to see you and how his heart raced faster the closer he got to you.

He stood in front of you, eying you head to toe and taking a sharp breath in. He pulls you quickly by your wrist and envelops you in his arms. You wrap your arms around his waist and hold onto him tight. You sigh a breath of relief and feel his warmth wrap around your body. His scent fills your head like an intoxicating drink. You hum content, so happy to have him in your arms again.

“Oh, baby,” he whispers as he picks you up slightly from the ground and gives you a deep, passionate kiss. It was intense and electrifying, wrapping you in his blinding love. You place your hands on his face, making sure he’s real and not some cruel dream.

He gently puts you down and you look up at him in anticipation.

“Where have you been?” You ask, hurt filling your voice.

“I’m sorry I was gone so long baby. I-I-I had to take care of things,” he says overwhelmed. He tries to comfort you but suddenly pick up another scent behind him. You suddenly feel on edge as you don’t recognize the scent at all. You dart your eyes back up at him, trying to push him to the side to see who it is but he doesn’t budge.

“Umm honey, I need you to meet someone…” he says uncomfortably. You push at his chest slightly to see who is behind him and he gives way.

It was a girl, maybe twenty years old or so, with long black hair, and flawless golden skin. She wears sunglasses shielding her gaze from you. She doesn’t say anything right away, just stares at you behind the glasses, inspecting your every detail. You step in front of Elvis instinctively, wanting to create a barrier between him and this girl.

“What do you want?” You growl. She smirks at you, amused by your protective tone.

“I’m not a threat,” she says calmly, “my name is Iris.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” you say through your teeth, “what do you want. What are you doing here?” You press. You feel Elvis place his hand on your shoulder to try and calm you but need to focus and don’t want him to touch you right now. You brush his hand off of you and take another step forward to Iris.

“Elvis found us in search of answers,” She starts to explain when a man you’ve never seen starts to walk up the steps behind her. “We are like you, Chosen.”

You feel your stomach drop, not believing what she just said. You glance over at the man standing next to her. He was young too, with wavy dark brunette hair, and pale icy skin.

“My name is Alexander, it’s nice to meet you,” he says sweetly.

You look back at Elvis, unsure if you should trust them or not.

“It’s okay, they’re here to help us,” he says low.

You look back at them, nodding your head that you’ll let them talk.

Iris smiles, “Perfect, where did you guys want to begin?”

Elvis pushed the front door open and stepped to the side. “Please, come in,” he says kindly. You let them walk in first and watch as they inspect every detail of the house. You pull at Elvis’ hand before you two walk in behind them.

He looks at you intensely, as you pull him away from the door.

“Do you know who these vampires are you just invited into your home?” You say low, your eyes blazing with intensity.

“Baby, it’s all okay. They can be trusted. You need to hear what they have to say. They’re the real thing trust me, I was skeptical at first too. Please, just listen to what they have to say,” he says squeezing your hand slightly.

You huff, knowing you can’t say no to him.

“Fine, I’ll let them talk. Then we need to talk too. Alone,” you say shortly.

“I know,” he says softly, knowing there’s a lot left unsaid after your fight.

He lets you walk into the house first, resting his hand on the small of your back.

A spark.

A little golden ember blazes inside of you with one touch of his hand.

You look back at him and he has this look on his face. Smug and yet still tender. But you know he feels it too.

“Mine.” He sighs.

*

*

*

Tagging: x

@powerotelvis @burninlovebutler

@neptuneismysister @velvetelvis @ccab @presleyenterprise @theresalwaysep

@prompted-wordsmith @sillybookmarks @dkayfixates @ellie-24 @rktismylife-blog

@myradiaz @tacozebra051

@thatbanditqueen

@18|kpeters @flwrs4aust @emma181873

@austinswhitewolf@eliseinmemphis

@everythingelvispresley @chasingwildflowers @idontwanttoputanything @ohjustpeachy

@elvisalltheway101 @austinsmutler @kingdomforapony.

@generoustreemystic @claire-elvisgirl

@ashtag6887 @burnthheparaphilia @richardslady121

@jaqueline19997

@returntopresley. @iloveelvis @rjmartin11 @that-hotdog @louisejoy86 @misspresley @cattcb @annapresley8

@arrolyn1114 @raginginkedslut @epthedream69

@mh777ep1938 @50sexyshadesfashionista

@oldhOllywOod @hooked-on-elvis @livelovedilfs @sloppiest-of-jos

[sagesolsticewrites]

✨Elvis (2022) Masterlist✨

Austin Butler:

• Trouble - A cast outing after filming Austin's "Trouble" performance prompts you to finally confess your feelings.

• Baby - Austin knows exactly how much you like the Elvis voice he’s learned… and has figured out how to use it to his advantage

• The Wonder of You - Austin needs some assistance in re-dyeing his hair while filming is shut down

• Take My Hand - a lil slow dance in the kitchen blurb as Austin arrives home from set

• New Look - Austin arrives home from prepping for “Elvis” and he looks… a little different

• Now or Never - Cast as Priscilla Presley, a romance blossoms between you and Austin on set

• Breathe - Austin’s protective side comes out when paparazzi take it a step too far

• Way Down - You and Austin spend some time in the pool on your vacation (this gets a lil steamy, minors please dni!! 18+ only here kiddos)

• Firsts - The first big interview of your career is with Austin Butler, star of the new Elvis movie. He’s staring at you like that because he’s just being nice about your first interview, right? (gn!reader)

• Drawl - Austin needs some help getting back to himself after Elvis. Luckily, his best friend is here to help him out!

• Romance Will Reign Supreme - Austin takes his shy s/o along on a cast trip to Disneyland. Fluff ensues.

• “i could have missed the pain, but i’d have had to miss the dance” - A song reminds you of past relationship with Austin (angst!!)

• Scaredy Cat (vampire!Austin) - your boyfriend takes you to a haunted house on Halloween

• Cake & Dragons (asexual!gn!reader) - Your boyfriend goes above and beyond to help you celebrate Ace Week <3

• Diner Date - Just a sweet little blurb about Austin taking you out for a date at a 50s diner (inspired by those bts pics we got from Hugh Stewart)

• Today Was A Fairytale - You decide to surprise your boyfriend in Australia for your first Valentine’s Day ❤️

• touchstarved - reader is very touchstarved while Austin is away filming in Australia

• Midnights Series(?) (not technically a series, more of just a collection of fics inspired by Midnights)

Lavender Haze - tba

Sweet Nothing - you serve as a sweet domestic escape for Austin when the fame gets too much

Snow On The Beach - tba

Labyrinth/Glitch - tba

Adam Dunn:

• Bonfire - Adam invites the cast of Elvis over for a bonfire night after filming wraps. You've developed a giant crush on him over the course of the movie as you portrayed Bill’s wife, because of course. Circumstances arise in which your feelings for each other are finally revealed, all thanks to a shared hoodie.

Polyam Fics!

• Tell The World I’m Yours (Austin x Olivia x Reader) - Your partners have been a little distant lately, and you’re even more worried when it seems like they forget your birthday… but they end up having a very sweet surprise for you ☺️💕

Elvis (2022 movie version):

• Reunion Series

Reunion - Elvis reunites with a childhood sweetheart from Tupelo

Renew - A funeral, the service, and new beginnings

Rebirth - A wedding, and a lil thing called the ‘68 special ;)

Release - It might be time to get out from under the Colonel’s thumb…

• Good Luck Charm - your boyfriend learns about the success of his first record while out celebrating your birthday

• Take A Break - Elvis gets sick after all the traveling to his shows, and it’s up to you and his mama to help him get better

• “i can’t keep kissing strangers, pretending they’re you” - 12 years ago, Elvis chose his career over you. What happens when he shows up at your door asking for a second chance?

• Taking Care of Business You - You wake up with a cold and you’re absolutely miserable… you have to miss a date with Elvis on top of that. Luckily, your boyfriend comes to your rescue.

Steve Binder

• Guitar Man - It’s love at first sight when your childhood friend Elvis asks you to be a part of his comeback special. But Steve Binder, director extraordinaire, couldn’t possibly feel the same way… right?

• Guitar Man Part 2 - You and Steve go on your first date, and deal with being an official item on set.

Scotty Moore

• Blue Moon Boy - Your boyfriend Scotty gets nervous before a show. Good thing you’re there to help him 🥰

Dixie Locke

• It’s Nice To Have A Friend - Your childhood friend Dixie comes to you for comfort after Elvis breaks up with her at prom. In the months after, you get to spend more and more time together, and you discover something new about your feelings towards her. Better keep that under wraps, it’s not like she’ll ever feel the same… right?

Polyam Fics!

• A Night to Remember (Austin!Elvis x Dixie x Reader) - Your childhood friend Dixie Locke has started dating Elvis Presley, and you couldn’t be happier for her. And you’re absolutely looking forward to going on tour with them! You definitely won’t develop feelings for your best friend on top of having feelings for her boyfriend. There’s no way that can end happily… right?

Misc.

• happier series - Bill and Scotty’s breakup has rattled the dynamic of the Blue Moon Boys, and it’s made all the worse with the introduction of you, Scotty’s new girlfriend. This story can go one of two ways… take your pick! 

the happy ending

the unhappy ending

• right where you left me (Elvis x Dixie angst) - the breakup at prom, from Dixie’s point of view, and everything that comes after

• find all of my drabbles here!

Send requests if you’d like (no smut please!) Unfortunately I can’t guarantee that I’ll write them all but I’d love to hear what y’all’d like to read!

[auroracalisto]

truth or dare

was watching tvd earlier and this great idea popped into my head

pairing: kol mikaelson x human reader

word count: 1,504 words 

warnings: jeremy = hunter, elena = vampire, you = human.  slight canon divergence to fit this timeline.  i.e., no death on the original side :-) also i’d like to imagine that if kol loved someone strong enough, he would do anything for them.  so.  this is something like that.  possibly out of character kol, but for the plot, amirite?  mild cussing.  mentions of death.  uh, possible spoiler if you have not watched season 4 of vampire diaries.

“You all are ridiculous,” Elena scoffed, rolling her eyes as she took her seat beside of you, smiling.  “Alright, alright.  Ummm, truth,” she said, in response to Bonnie.  

Bonnie widely smiled.  “Good choice,” she winked, a laugh escaping her.  “Elena, is it true that your first kiss was with a guy named Josh at the skating rink during our fifth grade graduation party?”

Elena laughed and she nodded.  “Yes,” she grinned, crossing her arms over her chest.  “Alright, [Your name],” your slightly older sister looked over at you.  “Truth or dare?” she smiled.  

You blushed, rubbing your hands against your jeans.  Your cellphone buzzed in your pocket, but you chose to ignore it for the time being.  “Uh, truth.”

“Gosh, no fun,” Elena pouted at you.  But it soon became a smile.  “Is it true that when you were little, you had an imaginary best friend named Dot?”

“Uh, no sweet thing, wasn’t that yours?” you tilted your head.  

Her eyes widened a bit and she laughed.  “Was it?” she asked, looking over at Jeremy who just snickered and laughed.  Elena let out another laugh before she shook her head and looked at you.  

You pursed your lips for a moment before you looked towards Stefan.  “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Oooh,” laughed Elena as she took a sip of the drink she had been nursing just a few minutes before.  

“I dare you...” you sighed a bit, thinking of a dare.  You then smiled at Stefan.  “I dare you to show everyone the last picture on your camera roll.”

Damon raised an eyebrow from where he sat.  “That’s boring.”

Stefan sighed, but didn’t back down from the dare.  He pulled out his phone and showed his last, very racy picture in his camera roll.  

“Oh my god,” you laughed, “who did you send that—“

Stefan caught your eye and sent you a warning glance.  You stifled your laugh but he couldn’t help from smiling at you.  No matter what had happened between your sister and the brothers, you had always remained good friends with them.  

Stefan sighed and looked over at his brother.  “Truth or dare, Damon?”

“Truth is, this game sucks,” he groaned.  

“Truth or dare.”

“Fine,” he sighed and took a swig of whatever was in his glass.  “Truth.”

“What was the name of your piano instructor when you went through that ‘holier than thou’ phase?”

“What?” Elena looked at Damon with wide eyes.  

He just waved her off.  “It was the 1950′s.  You had to be there to understand,” he said.  

“But wasn’t that a time for, you know, Elvis and shit like that?” Jeremy snickered from his seat beside of Bonnie.  

“She was nice on the eyes, okay?” Damon rolled his eyes.  “Her name was Celestial.  And let me tell you, she was no angel,” he laughed a bit.  The rest of the group laughed, while Elena just smiled and shook her head.  

“Okay, [Your name], back to you.”

“She already went—“ 

Damon cut Jeremy off.  “Who makes the rules?  My house, kiddo,” he winked, sitting his glass down on the table.  “Truth or dare, [Your name]?”

“Truth...?”

Damon’s smirk only grew.  “Great choice, [Your name].”  

You could feel yourself growing more anxious by the second as he stared you down.  

“[Your name],” he cleared his throat, “is it true that you’re dating Kol Mikaelson?”

All the color drained from your face.  

At this moment, the only thing that could be heard was the flickering of the fire.  

You kept your eyes on Damon, your breath stuck in your throat.  

“Well?”

“[Your name]...” Jeremy began, looking at you in disbelief.  “Are you serious?  You... dating the guy that’s been trying to kill me?”  He scowled at you, sitting his cup down on the table beside of him.  “Are you going to answer, or are you just going to sit there?”

Elena stared at you like you were crazy.  “He’s a homicidal maniac.  Are you—you’re human, for crying out loud.  He could literally kill you whenever he wanted—”

“—you’ve dated Stefan, and now you’re dating Damon.  How’s this any different?” you quickly retorted.  

“First off, they’re not an original vampire that’s been around for a thousand years.  Are you crazy, [Your name]?”

No one besides your siblings had said a word.  

Elena had forced you to look at her before she spoke.  “[Your name],” she said, taking ahold of your hand and tearing off your vervain bracelet.  You looked at her in disbelief.  “I want you to go home.  You’re going to stay there and you’re not going to let anyone inside.  Jeremy and I will deal with you later.”

“Elena—“

“Go.”

You couldn’t argue with compulsion.  You hesitantly stood up and grabbed your coat, making sure your phone was in your pocket, before you quickly left the Salvatore’s home.  If you dared to look back, they might as well have let you back in the game.  But, then again, that wasn’t about to happen.  You knew that they were angry.  Each of them, even if they didn’t say anything.  

You made your way home and you quickly shut the door, unable to stop your tears from finally falling.  You grabbed your phone, dialing the only person you wanted to see: Kol.  

He had never been in your home.  Now, you couldn’t even allow him to come in.  But hearing his voice would be enough to calm you down. 

“Hello, love,” Kol’s voice rang out of the speaker.  

You squeezed your eyes shut, quietly trying to stop yourself from crying.  

“[Your name]?  Are you going to say hi, or did you call me just to give me the silent treatment?”

“I’m sorry...”

He was quiet for a moment, a deep frown etching into his features.  You just knew he could tell you were upset.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I—nothing is wrong.  I just needed to hear your voice.”

“Oh, dear, I know you’re lying to me,” he chuckled softly.  “Tell me, [Your name].  What happened?”

“Elena compelled me.  I can’t leave my house right now...”

“What?”

“Kol—“

“—I am coming.  Now.”

You couldn’t even try to argue with him as he quickly hung up the phone.  It was only a matter of maybe two minutes before the man was at your doorstep.  He loudly knocked on your door.  “[Your name]?  Don’t pretend like you can’t hear me, love.  I know you’re in there.”

You sniffled softly and walked to the front door, hesitantly opening it.  

Kol gave you a soft smile, but it disappeared when he saw your tears.  He went to step inside the house, but he was quickly stopped.  He looked at the woman in confusion.  

“Well, I know I’ve never been in your home before, but I certainly would expect you to let me in—“

“—I’ve been compelled not too, Kol.”

He sighed softly and closed his eyes.  “Come closer.”  You did as you were told, without technically leaving the house.  He opened his eyes and kept his trained on yours.  “You’re going to let me in, alright?” 

You stared at him for a moment, but you nodded.  Whatever compulsion Elena had on you would never beat an Original’s compulsion.  

“Come in,” you said, slightly moving out of the way for your vampire boyfriend.  

He grinned at you and came into the house.  

“Now.  Tell me,” he said, cupping your cheeks.  “What’s going on?  What happened?”

“Damon knows about us,” you blurted.  “He told everyone.  Elena, Jeremy, Stefan—hell, Bonnie was there.  They know about us.  They’re so angry with me, Kol, but I can’t—I can’t just stop seeing you.  They act like they would understand anything,” you took in a deep breath.  “You would think they wouldn’t act this way after Elena hopped from both brothers.  She even killed on of yours—I just—“

“—hey,” he softly spoke, his hands tilting your head so you would be looking at him.  “Calm down.  You’re okay.  Nothing bad is going to happen to either of us.” 

You squeezed your eyes shut before you found yourself hugging onto the Original vampire.  

“What if we did something?”

“Like what?” you whispered into his chest. 

He smiled as he felt your chest softly rumble against him as you spoke.  “What if we just... left?”

You looked up at him, a confused expression on your face.  

“Well, what if I took you to live with Klaus and I?  You wouldn’t have to tell them where you were, and you’d be safe.  I’d be with you.  Either I would be, or Klaus would... You would be safe,” he repeated.  

“You... would do that?” you asked.  

He pursed his lips before he nodded.  “Yeah.  For you, [Your name], I believe I would do anything.”

“What if I asked you to not kill Jeremy—“

“—one thing at a time, dear,” he rolled his eyes.  “And I wouldn’t have to kill him if he would just listen to me, now would I?”

[poepoe-thebunny]

Rudy/Tony and Fam during Quarantine

Cause this is where my life is at, apparently. I thought I escaped the “quarantine fever writing” that everyone else got. Apparently I was wrong. 

After another visit to the castle, the Thompson’s end up there in quarantine once miss rona hits the world. Thank god for WI-FI and working remotely, even if his parents look vaguely like zombies due to time zone differences. Tony can’t talk, his online schooling schedule is all sorts of weird and he’s pretty sure his teacher just wants to sleep until the whole thing is over. Honestly Tony can’t say he blames her. 

The Sackville-bagg clan, as it turns out, is a surprisingly overprotective bunch when they need to be, especially now that they have accepted their humans into the fold. Even with catching up on modern medicine and germ theory, they won’t allow anything to happen to their precious humans. 

(AU/headcanons incoming??

Rudy/Tony: 

- Think Rudy was protective before? Think again. 

- Rudy is over 300 years old, he’s old by human standards and he has met people who are old by vampire standards. He’s seen Things(TM) ok?

- He has been through more than one plague in his life. He has seen what it can do to the sick and the poor. He knows it’s a different now, that life-saving machines exist, that they’re working on a vaccine, that soap is widely available. 

- But he also knows it’s not. 

- Tony? Not going anywhere as far as he is concerned. Say hello to your prince, Rapunzel, cause Rudy is keeping Tony up in that tower if it kills him (again). 

- He knows where all of Tony’s masks are, and where he puts the extras. 

- He’ even shops online for masks with Tony, finding cool hand-sewn, gothic looking ones for Rudy himself to wear. He’s not sure if Corona even effects vampires, but Tony likes finding stuff to match his “aesthetic’ and it keeps his mortal happy. 

- He waits on his mortal hand and foot in between videogames and watching Netflix. (Tony likes How to Train Your Dragon and Paranorman, Rudy likes The Little Prince and Kubo and the Two Strings.). 

- Rudy’s first introduction to Tumblr is through Tony, and at one point they reach the Plague Doctor Aesthetics. While Rudy hasn’t spent much time in Italy, he doesn’t think they’re very accurate, and complains as such to his mortal. 

- Rudy is surprisingly easily offended about historically inaccurate things, and it sends Tony into laughing fits. 

- Rudy is Bad At Memes. Like, just in general he doesn’t always get them, and when Corona Memes become a thing he’s just constantly confused. Poor Rudy honestly. 

- Tries to learn to cook healthy human food, except he hasn’t had any major kitchen experience in 200-odd years and it comes out as a disaster the first few times he tries it. 

- It turns into a teaching session between him and the other adult humans, turns out the old couple who owns the castle like to feed people. Rudy walks into Tony’s room with a tray piled so high Tony can’t see his head. 

-Always offering to fly around the castle to get things for Tony, even if he isn’t sick. 

- TikTok dances. Tony shows him, then teaches him. Rudy is shockingly good at them, but Gregory thinks he’s cringy. 

Gregory: 

(Not me flexing my love of the good big brother trope, absolutely not, nope)

- Surprisingly rather take charge about the whole thing, he’s come around to the Thompson’s and the old couple. 

- While his parents help when they can, they sort of take a step back, and let the three siblings explain what’s happening in the world to the clan (if they are there). Being the oldest, Gregory sort of defaults to being the leader. 

-Checks in with the Thompson’s, as well as Otto and Emma (The old couple who run the place.) Asks if they need anything while they work/are in school etc. 

- Warns the clan to be very careful when visiting, not just for the Thompson’s, but also because Otto and Emma are getting on in years and could become sick very easily. Always asks for a heads up before a family visit. 

- Won’t tell anyone but, late at night if he’s not busy, he’ll do things around the castle for the humans, especially upkeep for Otto and Emma, while they sleep. 

- Dusting hard to reach spots like chandeliers, organizing books in the old castle library, moving heavy furniture and stuff since he can fly. 

-Low key drags Rudy and Anna into helping him clean 

(”But Gregory, this is our home now too! I’m sure they don’t mind.” 

“Humans are fragile, and they’re letting us stay here out of kindness, so don’t be rude. Clean up after yourself little brother.” 

“He’s right you know.” 

“Of course I am. And don’t think you’re getting out of cleaning the rafters Anna, and stop leaving your books everywhere for them to pick up.” 

 ‘hmph.” )

- Of the vampires he’s lowkey the best at cooking human food. Tony, Rudy, and Anna just walk into the kitchen at night and Fredrick is just watching his eldest, genuinely amused, as he dances around the kitchen in a “Kill the Cook (Too late, I’m already dead)” apron, blasting out dad rock from the stereo. 

-Bonds with the Thompsons over cooking human food, especially Tony’s dad after he teaches Gregory what an “air guitar” move is. 

-Gregory discovers pinterest food aesthetics, and is a machine of baking, mixing, and decorating sweet candies/cakes/brownies. He wants his food to look pretty dang it. 

- Anna and Rudy just watch, silently judging him. 

Anna: 

- She’s just thriving tbh. 

- She has internet access now, and her brothers have never been more terrified. 

-If Gregory is the vampire equivalent of a pinterest mommy, Anna is the vampire equivalent of creepy diy aesthetic tiktokers. 

-Not like, bloody horror diy, but like, the subtly creepy but still sweet kind, like the Addams family or Coraline. 

- She learned needle arts with her mom, so she’s out here sewing Coraline dolls, or patchwork dresses a la Nightmare Before Christmas cause she CAN. 

-Makes her own handbag with those felt cartoonish vampire faces and big fake bat ears on the side. 

-Learns more modern patterns and stuff, but will make masks for the humans as gifts, cause she doesn’t want them to get sick. 

- After watching Coraline together, she made “Other Me” dolls of her brothers, button eyes included, and stuck them in their coffins. She would make them “move’ by flying them around to different rooms when her brothers weren’t looking, just to freak them out. 

- Spoiler alert: it worked. They ran to Tony for help and she laughed over it for days. 

- Anna loves adventure books to Rudy’s poetry and Gregory’s fables/folk tales. She hates being excluded from her brothers “adventures”. 

-Tony introduces her to comics and video games and she just lives her best life. 

-One of her favorite comic book character is Cassandra Cain/Blackbat/The Orphan.

- She loves books like Matilda, The Chronicles of Narnia, and The Giver, as well as games like the Lara Croft/Tomb Raider series. 

-VICIOUS at video games, this girl has no mercy, she will blue shell you so hard. 

The Adults: 

-Life is Hard(TM) right now, but the Thompson’s try to make the best of it. They’re very grateful to Otto and Emma for letting them stay. 

-They’re both working remotely, so they’re a little messed up sleep schedule wise. But that’s ok, their vampire friends don’t seem to mind. 

- Freda teaches Dottie how to make proper tea, cause she likes it and Dottie is sort of addicted to caffeine. Dottie teaches Freda how to make mochas and smoothies, Dottie likes mango-pineapple smoothies and Freda likes hot white chocolate mochas with cinnamon. 

-Surprisingly, Frederick and Bob become pretty good friends. Frederick understands the stress of having to care for your family in very uncertain times, and the two men bond over unsure parental decisions. 

-Bob is also surprisingly good at making Frederick loosen up, much to Freda and Dottie’s amusement. While initially awkward, they have a surprisingly snarky and sarcastic sort of friendship. Frederick deadpans insults at him and Bob cheerfully annoys him into Being Nice For Once while being completely aware of the fact that he’s annoying Frederick. 

-Meals where Bob cooks often consists of him singing oldies into his spatula, making bad impression of certain singers, including Elvis and Cher. He is occasionally joined by Tony and Gregory, making the entire family laugh. 

- Anna’s bones may be old, but she can hand sew like a goddess, and has occasionally taken to fixing up the kids’ torn clothes, as Dottie can barely keep straight lines and Freda prefers knitting. 

- Someone (read: Freda) mentions that Frederick can play the cello, and after a rousing performance, it turns out that Otto can play an accordion, and of course Bob can play the guitar. A jam session occurs as the kids just stare in utter bewilderment.

- Tony’s grandparents were kinda hippies, so Bob and Dottie know a lot of oldies and folk songs, which while different than from what they normally hear, Otto and Anna connect too. They swap songs back and forth, and it turns out Dottie can do a mean Loretta lynn impression. 

- Dottie likes the Beach Boys, and teaches the others how to Twist. As in, the dance, and Freda actually likes it quite a bit. 

[somewhereinafandom33]

Caius x Human!Reader (PT 1)

Requested on Wattpad

Inspired by Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling in Love" but it's playing in a different room and it's raining

 ________

“Stupid thing,” Y/N groaned, tossing their dead cell phone to the passenger seat.

It was mid-morning in autumn and the vegetation was finally becoming a color that wasn't just green.

As I turned into the Cullen's long drive, my stomach started to feel uneasy while a strange pull began to nag at my subconscious.

The feeling reminded me of when I found out my cousin was a vampire- it was that gut feeling when someone tells you that they need to tell you something- growing up close with the “wolf pack” had certainly made things a little easier to comprehend.

The overcast sky had suddenly darkened into a deep grey- a low rumble of thunder shook throughout the car’s interior as colorful leaves now twirled in the new gusts of wind.

My stomach began to churn, my heart thudding like the rain drops that pelted against the windshield, and the nagging feeling was slowly starting to intensify… hopefully it was because of the storm.

By the time I parked in front of the house, the rain was now coming down in sheets, making it difficult to see even the front of the car.

I gathered my things and tucked into my jacket, taking a deep breath before darting from the safety of the car for the front door.

The rain was as cold as ice, immediately soaking my clothing with ease.

I knocked quickly on the door, “Please be home...”

A loud clap of thunder echoed throughout the woods followed by a crack of lightning, the wind was now starting to pick up even further.

Reaching to knock again, the door flew open and my hand was encased by what felt like ice as a huge burst of air blew past me as if I were standing in a hurricane until I was suddenly trapped against a tree.

Bolts of electricity had begun to pulse throughout my entire being- my back radiated with heat while my hand tingled as if it were going to go numb.

Opening my eyes, I had to resist a gasp, unprepared for the set of ruby red irises that sat just centimeters above my own.

His blonde hair was dripping from the rain- the droplets trickling from the very peaks of his cheekbones to across the bridge of his nose only to fall and land upon my own nose or even my hand that was being held closely to his chest.

“Forgive me,” he whispered as his head slowly dipped, the chill of the water raising bumps across my skin, “You just smell so...delectable.”

The tip of his nose tickled as he trailed down the curve of my neck, tracing the line of my jugular with a line of fire as every bit of air escaped my lungs.

His lips rested just above my skin when-

“Brother?” a voice called out from the distance.

The man went perfectly still before slowly resting his forehead in the spot that just held his lips, “Yes?”

His voice felt like velvet, gently wrapping around me in an effort to lull me to sleep.

“Perhaps we should discuss this inside,” the other man suggested, his voice trailing behind the sound of my chattering teeth… or maybe it was the sound of my heart threatening to pound straight out of my chest...

With a hidden grin, the man released my hand before instantly scooping me up from the slowly flooding forest floor, “Perhaps we should, brother…”

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The OTHER Members of Eve’s Coven

Me and @lilmissrantsypants couldn’t fit all the coven in as cameos in chapter 3, so here’s a rundown on the members who didn’t make an appearance. I added some of the stuff that inspired us into making the characters, My wife just went crazy with descriptions for her characters.

Aleister & Tantomile Deering: A pair of twins who were orphaned during WWII. They had to scrape by to survive, with Tantomile whoring herself out for drug money. They were turned when Aleister begged for help as his sister was overdosing. They were plagued by psychic visions as mortals, their powers awakening fully when they were turned. They are practically inseperable nowadays.

Power: Aleister and Tantomile have innate psychic abilities, activated by touching someone. Tantomile can see into a person’s past, while Aleister can see multiple outcomes the future could hold and then latch on to the most likely scenario. Their vampiric power is a twin link that allows them to experience the emotions the other one does, as well as keep them connected.

Inspiration: The psychic cat twins Tantomile and Coripocat from Cats 

My wife came up with the basic concept and we workshopped them together from there; it’s a joint effort. She does Tantomile, I do Aleister.

Bartholomew Comstock: An overly aggressive puritan who was despised by his fellow townsfolk, he was banished from his New England home and forced to start a farm on his own. He nearly perished in the winter before Eve turned him. His hatred at being a disgusting, demonic creature such as a vampire is only ameliorated by his knowledge that Eve, having once been the angel Samael, ‘confirms’ his beliefs and allows him to eternally punish those he views as sinners.

Power: He believes his power gives him great strength against sinners, allowing him to inflict pain upon those who have done foul deeds. In truth, it is actually his own sins that give him strength, though his power does weaken as he exerts himself or runs low on blood (he cannot become unstoppably powerful).

Inspiration: The dad from The VVitch

Beatrix Cullen: Beatrix Cullen was a happy woman once, a skilled seamstress in the 1950s who simply loved the act of creation. She had an adoring boyfriend, and the two were set to be married, with Beatrix making a gorgeous wedding dress for her special day. But on that day, her groom never arrived, as he had been killed in a car accident on the way. Stricken by grief, Beatrix was easily convinced by Eve to join her coven, with the promise that perhaps her power could help her bring her husband back some day...

Power: Beatrix can imbue any object such as a sculpture or statue with life, essentially making golems without a magic scroll. Her most trusted golem is her mannequin, Manny, who often tries to steal her wedding dress. Her ultimate goal is to use her natural skills and her power to bring her husband back to life, stitching a Frankenstein monster of him and pieces of sleazy men who hit on her into a perfect flesh golem.

Inspirations: The bride from the Haunted Mansion, Kill Bill, Frankenstein, that one Tumblr post about 50s housewives fighting zombies with chainsaws, La Pascualita, Pegasus from Yu-Gi-Oh

Blanche Atterton: Daughter of Lady Drusilla Atterton, she grew up wanting nothing more than her mother’s love, though her mother was often far too preoccupied with “other things” (which she later learned was all of her plotting and planning to ensure her riches).When given the choice for vampirism, she excitedly vowed her loyalty to her mother and Eve. As she was only 15 at the time and children would not survive the turning, her mother waited until she turned 21 before turning her.Blanche does everything for her mother’s attention and love. She doesn’t hesitate to do her bidding in hopes of her mother praising her for it. She’s misguided, not evil, though her mother’s praise has given her a superiority complex and she’s a bit of a narcissist.

Power:  Blanche’s power gives her a powerful, painful scream. Those within 5 feet of her screaming will suffer from temporary deafness for 5 minutes. Whether they fall deaf or not, bleeding from the ears is very common, especially among mortals.

Inspiration: Drizella from Cinerella

Dee Comporre: Giorgio Nero’s faithful, somewhat obsessed bodyguard. She quite obviously has a crush on him due to her hatred of any woman who so much as interacts with Giorgio, though Giorgio just sees her as being a bit overprotective. She has a shaved head, and paints her face to look like a skull.

Power: She can secrete and spit a powerful corrosive acid that can melt through even metal.

Inspirations: D’Compose from InHumanoids

Dorian Ferris: A serial killer known as “The Ferryman,” who always leaves coins over his victim’s eyes. As a mortal, he had far too many close calls, and was nearly caught several times, particularly during a bout in a town back in 1999. He tends to target wicked people such as domestic abusers, rapists, crooked cops, and so on, sending them down the River Styx ahead of time to make the world a better place. He willingly joined the coven to escape punishment. More than anything, he just wishes to live a quiet, peaceful life.

Power: Has luck manipulation, which can allow him to do everything from dodge attacks by near misses or turn his surroundings into a Final Destination movie for opponents. He tends to activate a particular mode based on the whims of a coin toss. 

Inspirations: Jinx from Teen Titans, Final Destinatiin, Two-Face, Yoshikage Kira

Elizabeth Bathory:   The Blood Countess herself. After evading death in the 1600s thanks to Eve, she became a loyal follower of the demon, and was recruited into the Order of the 1800s. Dracula and Rasputin managed to defeat her and supposedly kill her, but Bathory is notoriously hard to slay. True to her infamous reputation, she tends to “Feed” by bathing in the blood of her victims. 

Power:Bathing in blood gives her an insane power boost; the longer she soaks, the stronger she gets. She can also absorb blood through her skin, though she can’t absorb the blood of supernatural beings this way.

Elvis Rey: Growing up near the border, Elvis always wanted to be like his hero, Elvis PResley. He obsessively watched the man’s performances and learned his every move. When the man died, he vowed he was going to become the greatest Elvis impersonator that ever lived. The 80s weren’t too kind to him, and drinking, gambling, and overeating left him looking like chubby later-years Elvis. With debt collectors crawling down his neck, he turned to Eve, and became a powerful vampire.

Power: He is capable of replicating any non-supernatural ability he sees. For example, if he watched a martial arts movie, he would be able to pull off those moves. Think the comic book character Taskmaster. 

Inspirations: Elvis (Presley), Elvis (God Hand)

Giorgio Nero: Giorgio Nero was a member of Cosa Nostra who attempted to retire from this life due to his wife and child. However, his past would eventually catch up with him, and his child was nearly killed, which lead to Giorgio accepting an offer he had once rejected, but now couldn’t refuse: vampirism and joining with Eve’s coven. Despite everything, he is an honorable man who dearly loved his wife and adores and accepts his child.

Power: You know Magneto? Like from X-Men? Imagine that but instead of a Holocaust survivor it’s an Italian guy. Boom.

Inspirations: Magneto, Risotto Nero from Vento Aureo, Metlar from InHumanoids

James Wilson: James was born in 1812 as a slave. When he was 8, he was gifted to the man one of his master’s daughters married, along with 13 other slaves. As his former master’s name was Wilson, he took that as his surname. He worked as a stablehand until he became a farmer at age 12. After a rather brutal beating when he accidentally dropped a bag of freshly picked potatoes at age 25, James encountered Eve. She promised to help free him. She turned him into a vampire (1837). He lived on the run until the Emancipation Proclamation was issued and went into full effect in 1863. James used to speak in thick, Gullah speech, but over time, it has lessened as he acquired modern language.

Power: James’s power gives him the ability to summon and play with water. He can use it however he wishes: to drown someone, to create a small unnatural pool to swim in, or to cool someone off with a quick sprinkle. This comes from his silent love for water, though he wasn’t ever allowed to swim or play in it.

Inspiration: Splash Mountain

Juno Nero: The child of Giorgio Nero. They tend to wear long black coats, masks, and facial bandages to hide their face and body due to extreme anxiety. They are mute as well, and communicate via sign language. They are nonbinary.

Power: They can stretch their body like rubber (think Elastigirl, Rubber Band Man, Plastic Man, you get the idea).

Inspiration: Tendril from InHumanoids

Lady Drusilla Atterton: Born in 1852 in England as Drusilla Graham to a middle-class family. She grew up idolizing the wealthy and decided she would do whatever it took to become wealthy herself.Met Josiah Kipling, a 28 year old man, when she was 22. He fell madly in love with her. She was overjoyed as he was quite wealthy. They married in 1874 and had two daughters together (Katharine [1875] and Blanche [1877]). However, after 8 years of marriage (1882), Drusilla (now age 30) fell out of love with him and secretly laced his food with rat poison, ultimately killing him. As they had personal chefs, it was deemed to be the fault of the chef, who was arrested and charged with the crime. As his widow, she inherited a share of his wealth.Over the next 10 years (1882-1892), Drusilla married 8 other wealthy men from all over the country, all who mysteriously died less than a year later in what were deemed to be unfortunate accidents.

Donald Thompson, married in 1883, died in a carriage accident.

Maurice Parker, married in 1884, died of a laudanum overdose.

Timothy Edwards, married in 1886, died by drowning

Christopher Watson, married in 1887, died by falling out of a second story window

Nathaniel Harris, married in 1888, died of apparent suicide

Bernard Carter, married in 1890, died of a hunting accident

Percy Clarke, married in 1891, died after being attacked by a burglar

Timothy Atterton, married in 1892, died in bed (cause unknown)

She met Eve in 1892 shortly after marrying Timothy Atterton. Eve had heard of her reputation as the Cursed Widow (but knew full well her husbands’ deaths were her doing). As Eve was extremely weakened, Amon turned her. With Eve’s assistance, she killed her final husband by scaring him to death by introducing him to Eve. Drusilla vowed her loyalty.With the knowledge of how to turn another from Eve (as Amon refused to tell her how), Drusilla offered the gift of vampirism to each of her daughters. Katharine ( refused and cut herself off from her mother, instead choosing to live a full and honest life. Blanche, on the other hand, being so keen to be accepted and loved by her mother vowed her own loyalty to both her mother and Eve. When she turned 21, Drusilla turned her as well (as she was informed that youth would not survive the turning).

Power: Her  power allows her to paralyze her target with a simple cold stare for a full 5 minutes.

Inspiration: Lady Tremaine from Cinderella

Lord Gordon Ruthven: A rich, aristocratic vampire who enjoyed luring in and preying on young women. He was part of the Order of the 19th century. He is currently a severed head, as his body was destroyed by the Silverwings.

Power: Can exude a charm aura that makes women more susceptible to his commands and desires, though it only works on women capable of being attracted to him (it would not work on lesbains, for instance).

Mabel Lockhart: A sickly young girl whose father made a deal with Eve to keep her from dying. Her dad is currently missing, and she is unsure if he’s even alive.

Power: She has the ability to absorb energy, such as steam energy, electrical energy, etc and gain boosts and power depending on what type she absorbs. For example, absorbing electrical energy would allow her to to shoot lightning. She can also absorb a person’s energy, but at most she can make them very lethargic and gets little else from absorbing that sort of energy.

Inspiration: Loosely based on the Pokemon Magearna

Maddox Hinton: Maddox was born in 1863 in a small town in England. He doesn’t talk much about his past, but he does boast about how he and his father were valued hypnotists in their small town. He was his father’s apprentice, learning how the art of hypnotism worked, though he wasn’t quite as successful as his father. This was what Eve used to convince him to turn to vampirism. It occurred when he was 25 and preparing to take over the family business.His power helped him convince his customers that they were actually under the effects of hypnotism. His father simply believed that taking over the business helped him tap into his true potential. 

He continued this way until Eve demanded his help. He lied to his dad, telling him he was going to travel abroad and spread their business, causing his father to take over the business once again.Maddox served Eve for a few years before she told him she didn’t need his help anymore. It was likely this that irritated him so much that he eventually became loyal to Amon while under the very convincing facade he’s loyal to Eve.

The rest of his past is unknown. All he will often tell people is he traveled all over the world, performing great feats under fake names as “world-renown hypnotists”. Maddox is a wild card. He does things for the fun of it or for his own pleasure, often without any sympathy towards others.

Power: Maddox’s power allows him to take control of another (similarly to Gabby’s). However, he can take control of up to two people at once. Instead of physically puppeteering them, he simply suggests they do something and they do it.

Inspiration: Vex from Lost Girl

Margaret Derwin: Margaret was born in New York City in 1902. She grew up with a love for music, particularly singing. She had dreams of becoming a famous singer.When she was 18, she pursued these dreams. She got a job as a dancer at a speakeasy with hopes of, eventually, being able to become one of their singers in time. It was there that she met Elizabeth, one of the other dancers. They secretly fell in love (which answered Margaret’s confusion about why she wasn’t interested in men). Eventually, they decided to run away to California together. They made plans and prepared for this, but on the day it was to happen, Elizabeth never showed up. Margaret later discovered she had changed her mind and, instead, was going to marry a man she’d met at the speakeasy.Eve found Margaret heartbroken and wandering the streets looking for a new job after quitting at the speakeasy (as it was too difficult to continue working there when Elizabeth was still there). Eve easily wooed her to her side. Though, as Margaret had good intentions, Amon had eventually been able to convince her to assist him instead as he wanted to ensure Eve would stop preying on innocent people like herself.

Power:  Margaret’s power involves her voice. Through singing, she can influence one’s emotions depending on her intentions (anger them, seduce them, calm them down, soothe them to sleep).

Nora: Nora’s memories are very faded. She knows she was born to a very poor family in Ireland. She knows she was sold as an indentured servant at age 13 in exchange for her tickets to America, board, and food. She knows she worked for that American family for 7 years. She knows she caught influenza and was promptly fired by the family for fear she’d infect them all. She knows she was near death, wandering the streets alone, when a massive black snake promised to save her. At the time, Nora believed it was just an illusion. She found out the next day, however, that it was not. She’d been saved by the gift of vampirism.Nora lived a long, long time as a homeless woman. She watched as America grew into a country of its own. She preyed on any she could find in order to survive. Eventually, she took residence in an abandoned house on a street. Over time, rumors spread that a ghost lived in the house on Blackwell Street. Her appearance and her power did much to add to this as well, as did the occasional mysterious deaths of those who wandered into the house hoping to catch a glimpse of the ghost.

Power: Nora’s power allows her to become visible or invisible on command. She can only switch from one to the other every 10 minutes. She often uses this to frighten mortals and uphold her identity as the Ghost of Blackwell Street.

Tony Sugar:  Tony Sugar is the owner, spokesman, and iconic figure of the Lost Paradise Candy Company. With the help of Amon, he became one of the first successful Black candy makers in America. He’s very flamboyant, campy, and charismatic—essentially a black Willy Wonka. He is pansexual because, in his own words, “everyone deserves a little Sugar.” He is also an avid beekeeper.

Power:  He has the power to “mellify” corpses, filling them with a honey-like substance and turning them into zombies.

Inspirations: Tony Todd’s Candyman, Ruby Rhod, the song “Sweet Bod,” the myth of the mellified man

Walter Sherman: Formerly a college professor and devoted family man from the dawn of the 20th century, Walter was a good man known for always thinking forward and being able to accept new changes in the world. However, when a freak accident claimed the life of his wife and child, he couldn’t handle it and attempted suicide before being saved by Amon. He’s mostly in the coven out of loyalty to Amon.

Power: He has the power of adaptability, allowing him to easily adapt to any situation. For example, using lightning against him would make him adapt lightning resistance.

Inspirations: The Carousel of Progress

Wayne Nicol: A formerly friendly clown who was forced to witness unspeakable horrors during WWII. He survived the horrors, but was left fundamentally disturbed by the nightmare he had lived through. He joined the coven hoping to find some sort of safety, but as it turned out, Eve had other plans.

Power: Has the power to control and manipulate a person’s fears to weaponize against them.

Inspirations: Scarecrow (Batman), Pennywise, Freddy Krueger, The Day the Clown Cried

[thedeaditeslayer]

Bruce Campbell talks ‘Evil Dead,’ ‘Spider-Man,’ ‘Xena’

mm

The first time Bruce Campbell came across Sam Raimi, they were students at Michigan’s West Maple Junior High School.

“Sam was a year younger than me,” Campbell recalls, “and I remember him dressed as Sherlock Holmes playing with dolls in the middle of the floor. And I remember going way around him. And I found out later that it was Sam Raimi. We didn’t really come into contact until we got until high school.”

What a connection they made. After bonding over D.I.Y. filmmaking, Campbell and Raimi went on to do 1978 shoestring horror-short “Within the Woods” together, which they evolved into 1981 demonic thriller “Evil Dead.”

Campbell would periodically reprise signature “Evil Dead” character Ash Williams in various sequels and offshoots. And appear in Raimi-produced “Xena: Warrior Princess,” portraying slippery “king of thieves” Autolycus on that ’90s-iconic TV fantasy epic.

And then there’s Campbell’s memorable cameos in Raimi’s blockbuster, Tobey Maguire-starring “Spider-Man” film trilogy: the ring announced in the first, 2002 film, “snooty usher” in the 2004 sequel and a maître d’ in 2007′s “Spider-Man 3.”

Of course, Campbell’s made a mark outside that dynamic duo. He drew raves for his portrayal of a nursing-home-bound Elvis Presley in 2002 indie comedy-horror gem, “Bubba Ho-Tep.” Then there’s his role of Sam Axe on USA Network spy drama “Burn Notice.” Not to mention numerous other film, TV, voice acting and even video-game work.

The cult-fave actor will make his first ever trip to Huntsville this week, for Oct. 24 events at Von Braun Center’s Mark C. Smith Concert Hall featuring “Evil Dead” screenings followed by a Campbell-led chat about the film, his life as an actor and beyond. Tickets for these 3 and 7:30 p.m. events start at $32, via ticketmaster.com.

His upcoming projects include a comedy album with actor Ted Raimi, Sam’s brother, called “The Lost Recordings.” Campbell also is readying a book of essays called “The Cool Side of My Pillow,” which finds him riffing on subjects ranging from noise to the environment. He hopes to have both released by the end of this year. More info at bruce-campbell.com. On a recent afternoon, Campbell checked in from his Oregon home for a phone interview. Edited excerpts are below.

Bruce, when you do an “Evil Dead” screening event, do your discussions turn up new things about the film or that you haven’t thought of in a long time?

Every show turns up something new because it puts you on the spot. Someone will say something that will then trigger something that you had forgot. I just sat down the other day before one of these shows with my guy who is my frontman and I was like, “OK, l’m just going to tell the story of making this movie.” It’s not for questions I’m just going to tell you basically what you’re about to see. But yeah, every show triggers some new thing. I’ve seen the movie. I know how it ends. But that is the challenge, finding some new, weird tidbits.

Back in high school how did you and Sam Raimi first bond? Did you share a class or something?

Basically I got into typing class, that’s what started it. I could not believe I was stuck in this stupid class where everyone around me seemed to know how to type. I’m like, “How do you know this?” It was very frustrating. So I went to a counselor for the first time ever – I’d never gone to try to get out of anything.

So I go there and I say, “Hey can I drop this dumb typing class?” She goes, "Yeah, what do you want? I go, “What do you got?” So she comes up with “radio speech.” And I’m like, “Radio speech? Wait they do the morning announcements (at school) and stuff?” and I’m like yeah let me get all over that.

So I got into a class and Sam Raimi was also in the class. And the guy who taught radio speech also directed all the plays. We didn’t know how critical that was. The first year I couldn’t get in anything in my high school. I was auditioning for everything but I didn’t have a class with this guy. By the next year I had a class with him, and then me and Sam were in basically all the plays after that. We found out how the deal worked.

So I met him in radio speech and we’d do the morning announcements together and got to talking about what we do in our neighborhoods. I was making little regular-8 (millimeter film) movies and Sam was making Super-8 movies. So we started to join forces during the course of that high school run, that two or three years in there.

We were very productive. We didn’t really get into trouble because we were too busy like filming parties. We wouldn’t go to the parties we’d film the parties and use them in some way in our little films so it was a great guerrilla filmmaking period.

A celeb or well-known person you were surprised to learn they’re an “Evil Dead” fan?

I heard Charlie Sheen, one of his favorite things was to smoke a doobie and watch “Evil Dead 2,” and Alice Cooper’s favorite horror movie is “Evil Dead.”

If it’s good enough for Alice Cooper it’s good enough for me. You host the quiz show “Last Fan Standing.” What do you make of the mainstreaming of nerd-culture?

Every generation has its deal. In the ’40s most moviegoers were in their 40s and so the actors were in their 40s. Humphrey Bogart and Spencer Tracy and all the guys were in their 40s. You didn’t have to be 21. And then as the audience got younger the actors got younger and the people who run the companies get younger and so they’re really just catering to what’s popular.

Comic books have always been popular but now they’re really popular. Not really sure what that’s all about but yeah social media has certainly helped but I think it’s another form of escapism. Whenever times get weird, people want escapism. During The Depression they did the Busby Berkeley splashy musicals where everyone was happy all the time, when life was really miserable. And some decades where we’re really doing okay, the movies turned introspective and we go after ourselves and figure out why we’re like this and like that. And so I think we’re in a phase where we just want to be taken away to another galaxy and Marvel is very happy to help.

And you’ve been a part of that. In Sam’s “Spider-Man” trilogy, which of your cameos did you have the most fun with?

Well I don’t know it’s hard to lineate because they’re so critical. The first one I named Spider-Man. If I wasn’t in the movie a billion dollar franchise would be called The Human Spider. He wants to get in the theater in the second one, past the snooty usher who won’t let him in because he’s late, because it will spoil the illusion, so I think I’m technically the only character who’s ever defeated Spider-Man. And in part three, a superhero comes to a mortal for help. He wants me to help him propose to his girlfriend so it’s sort of a landmark case where a superhero goes to a mortal for help which is pretty rare. So I can’t delineate because they’re all critical to the “Spider-Man” universe.

Do you have any cool mementos from "Evil Dead or elsewhere from your career? Maybe something like the chainsaw from “Evil Dead 2”?

You know, it’s weird I’m not a hoarder, I’m not a collector. My brother, he has the shotgun from “Evil Dead,” but not because he loves movie trivia, he just likes guns. My brother also has I think the set of keys to the original cabin. That’s a pretty good one. Not sure how he got that one.

I have weirder ones. Like I have a prop from a 1989 movie called “Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat.” I have Van Helsing’s holy bottle where he shakes the holy water at them. And I have what I call my tchotchke shelf, where most people would look at it and they couldn’t identify what importance each item is, but there’s a story for each one.

Some of your favorite actors outside the horror genre?

Oh, I l love a lot of the old time actors. William Holden, he starred in “Bridge on The River Kwai” one of my favorite movies. I like the guys who had to work a lot. In the old days and actor would finish a job on Friday he was under contract, he took two weeks off and started a new movie a couple weeks later. Actors kind of just do one or two movies a year if they’re lucky these days and it doesn’t help them refine their craft.

I feel like the guys who worked a lot got good because they got really used to the process. I’m a fan of the studio system. Not all movies were good and not every actor was happy under the studio system, but I think a busy actor’s a good actor.

For your role in “Bubba Ho-Tep,” what was your process for tapping into Elvis’s vibe?

What guy doesn’t want to be Elvis, you know? So I worked with an Elvis impersonator for about a half an hour and then he gave up on me. He goes, “Look, man, you’re never going to get it.” I’m like, “Wow either I suck or you suck as a teacher but somebody here sucks.”

No, but I watched a bunch of footage and documentaries. There’s a good one, all his Memphis Mafia who worked with him, a filmmaker basically got them all drunk one night and interviewed them all and that’s where the good stories are. You learn a little more of the human side of him. But that’s pretty much it. I’ve never been a stage performer so mercifully there wasn’t that much of it, just in quick flashbacks.

And there’s a part of me, in the back of my mind, I want to know that Elvis' descendants, somebody, a daughter, niece, somebody has watched that movie and approved. We’ll see.

I thought it was a cool creative take on that whole Elvis thing.

I agree. That’s why I did it. It was one of the weirdest scripts I’ve ever read But yet it wraps up though. It has a weird premise but it has a really interesting theme of what do you do with old people. Do we forget these old people? And are they still useful in society, old people? And I thought it had a sweet ending, that these two old guys they kind of rally themselves one more time.

What’s a well-known role you’ve turned down?

Turned down? I don’t have a lot of those. I don’t operate in that rarified air of saying, “Oh I turned ‘Titanic’ down.” I tried to get a part in a studio movie called “The Phantom” and Billy Zane wound up getting the part." And it was down to me and Billy, I was number two for the job, but I didn’t really enjoy the process very much because it seemed more political than actually acting. It was amazing how many people you had to audition for, and you had to go up the ranks and each time it got a little more tense as you move up. So I’m good doing these weirdo little movies.

I read the budget for “Within the Woods,” the predecessor of “Evil Dead,” was a princely 1,600 bucks. What was the most expensive line item, you think?

Food and probably fake blood. Tom Sullivan, who did the special effects, probably needed to mold a few things, so he probably spent a couple hundred bucks on molds. A lot of it was footage because Sam Raimi likes to shoot footage, so we probably bought a lot of rolls of film. And we did go to a cabin to shoot it, so had to get in the car and travel so maybe a little gas money in there too. That’s about it.

What can you tell us about the status of the next installment of the “Evil Dead” franchise?

We’re honing-in, circling the building now trying to lock in a partner. We have a couple of bidders and we’re trying to just find the correct suitor and we have a script written and a director picked. Sam Raimi hand -picked a guy named Lee Cronin, who’s a very good Irish filmmaker. And it’s got a very good modern tale. It’s a modern-day urban “Evil Dead,” it’s called “Evil Dead Rise.” And we’re hoping to do that next year.

You were a producer on 2013 “Evil Dead” remake. What’s the key to making a reboot effective?

Well rebooting can be very confusing and frustrating and not always successful. Reboot, sequel, remake we have all these crazy terms. What we’re doing now is we’re saying," Look, this is another ‘Evil Dead’ movie and that book gets around, a lot of people run into it and it’s another story." The main key with “Evil Dead” is they’re just regular people who are battling what seems to be a very unstoppable evil, and so that’s where the horror comes from. It’s not someone who’s skilled. They’re not fighting a soldier. They’re not fighting a scientist. They’re not fighting anybody more than your average neighbor. This one is going to be a similar thing. We’re going to have a heroine, a woman in charge, and she’s going to try and save her family.

Speaking of a female protagonist, when you’re at a con or meet fans somewhere, who has the most passionate superfans: “Evil Dead” or “Xena”?

“Xena” hits them at an emotional level. Like, they’ll come up to me and Lucy Lawless (the actor who played the show’s title role) and just burst into tears, because her character helped them get through a difficult time. “Xena” is more representative of overcoming your struggles in life. “Evil Dead” fans are pretty fervent but they don’t cry as much.

[setepenre-set]

Like You and Me (part 1)

Megamind/Roxanne 

T rating. 

AU of Fools, but can be read as a standalone.

prompted by @fattyskeleton

AO3 | FFN

Roxanne spills punch on her Starfleet costume at the KCMP Halloween office party and goes home to change into her...backup costume.

Roxanne goes window shopping on October 28th.

She almost doesn’t go; she has to fight with herself to do it. They released her from the hospital three days ago, but she’s still feeling a little shaky and fragile.

(still having nightmares about the smell of the purple smoke and turning around to see Megamind, who is—)

It’s ridiculous, she tells herself, to feel like this; she’s fine, and she faces much more dangerous things on a weekly basis—how many times has she been in a death trap? And she’s never felt anything like this afterwards.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it. Those were all with Megamind, and she’s never been in any actual danger with Megamind. If it had been Megamind’s evil plot she found herself in the middle of, instead of Psycho Delic’s, she never would have been caught in the hallucinogenic purple smoke, never would have ended up at the hospital.

So. Yes. She’s a little shaken up. Which is why she makes herself go shopping; it’s a way of proving to herself that she’s fine.

She already has a costume for Halloween; she’s had one for months, actually, has been planning it since August. A starfleet miniskirt uniform in command gold. Megamind always kidnaps her for Halloween; she had smirked to herself, when she bought the costume, thinking of his probable reaction to it.

Roxanne pauses in front of one window and critically regards a mannequin dressed in a witch costume. This costume is especially impressive in its artistic skimpiness.

A cold wind sweeps down the street, making Roxanne shiver.

This would probably have been more fun if she had someone with her. She doesn’t really have anyone she could have asked, though. Well—Wayne, maybe. They usually just meet up once a week or so for coffee, aside from the regular weekly Metro Man rescues, but she supposes she could have called and asked him along on this shopping trip.

Having Wayne with her would have pretty much defeated the point of going, though, would have felt too much like protection, hiding behind him. She refuses to do that.

Besides, Wayne isn’t really much for Halloween; he’s worn the same Elvis costume every year she’s known him.

Roxanne takes an absent step forward, letting her gaze fall idly on the next costume in the display. A vampire queen, she thinks, complete with a crown made of sharp silver spikes and black metal filigree like lace.

A cloud goes over the sun; the change of light makes her reflection come up on the storefront window.

It’s odd, she thinks, considering how very into Halloween Megamind is, but she’s never seen him actually wear a costume. How strange. Why wouldn’t he—

The spike crown, her reflection, the thought of Megamind—they coalesce without warning into a memory: his sharp smile and wicked tone, the first time he said—

(won’t you let me make you my evil queen, Miss Ritchi?)

And that’s—

—it’s a ridiculous thought, of course it is. Roxanne already has a costume, and anyway, she’s definitely not going to dress up as Megamind’s evil queen for Halloween; that would be unbelievably inappropriate! The Halloween evil plots are always televised; she can’t let him broadcast her looking like that to the entire city.

Her logic is sound, all the point well-reasoned.

Somehow she still finds herself walking into the shop.

When she gets home, she buries every piece of the new costume she bought in the back of her closet, her face flushed and her heart beating too hard.

Absolute insanity; she can’t imagine what possessed her. She’s never going to wear it.

There’s a costume party at the KCMP office on the night of Halloween. It’s a yearly thing; Megamind almost always comes and kidnaps her there.

She wears the starfleet uniform, obviously, and does not even think about opening her closet and getting out the other costume.

“Care for some punch, ensign?” Hal says, leaning against the refreshments table and leering at her.

Roxanne barely represses the urge to upend the punch bowl over him in outrage.

She came all the way over here to get away from him! How can he not realize that? And besides which, there are clearly three bands of gold braid on her sleeves, so she is obviously dressed as a commander, not a goddamn ensign.

Hal is dressed (very unconvincingly) as Indiana Jones, a thing that Roxanne is absolutely certain Harrison Ford never committed a sin dire enough to deserve.

“No thanks, Hal,” she says, forcing a smile and holding up her cup, “I’ve already got one.”

Hal laughs a little too loudly.

“Right, right, yeah, of course, Roxy! Hey, why don’t you come dance?”

Roxanne freezes as Hal throws his arm over her shoulders and she wishes with sudden viciousness that she had worn the other costume; he would have thought twice about doing that if she’d had spikes on her shoulders—

It’s less an accident and more a moment of poor impulse control when Roxanne jerks her hand and splashes her cup of punch all over Hal’s face.

Hal splutters, looking comically dismayed and Roxanne barely manages to choke back the laugh that threatens to bubble out of her.

“Oh, Hal, sorry!” she says, with a complete lack of honesty.

She’s spilled punch over her own sleeve, too, though, and that she does regret—oh no; she likes this costume—

“Damn it,” she says, and shoves a handful of napkins at Hal, who is still spluttering. “I’m gonna go wash this off; excuse me—”

She dodges away from him and weaves her way through the crowd and into the hall.

The women’s bathroom is mercifully empty; Roxanne locks herself inside and runs her sleeve under cold water. The stain goes from red to pink, but it doesn’t disappear entirely, not even when she scrubs at it with soap and a paper towel.

Damn it. And by the time the kidnapping is over, the stain will probably be set and she’ll never get it out.

Roxanne glances up at herself in the mirror. Her mouth is a flat line of dissatisfaction beneath her tastefully muted lipstick and one sleeve of her dress is wet, with a pink stain on the cuff.

Why hasn’t Megamind come to get her yet? She’s been here for an hour already; he usually comes and picks her up within the first fifteen minutes; it’s the only reason she can face the prospect of going to a party that includes Hal.

What can be taking him so long? What—

(—what if something’s happened to him, what if he’s hurt or—)

oh god no please no

(the smell of purple smoke and she turned around and Megamind was—)

The sound of laughter in the distance, from the party. Roxanne presses her lips together hard and tells herself that she is being ridiculous.

Wayne said—Wayne said that Megamind was—

(alive not dead like he’d been when she turned around in the purple smoke and and saw him and)

—fine; Wayne had said that Megamind was fine, and she needs to stop this.

She runs a hand through her hair and takes a shaky breath.

God, she really doesn’t want to go back to this party.

Roxanne turns her head to look at the bathroom door, then makes an involuntary face. She looks back at the mirror and grimaces again.

In the mirror, behind her own reflection, the reflection of the bathroom window catches her attention.

An idea dawns.

Roxanne pivots slowly to face the window.

This is entirely reasonable, Roxanne tells herself as she’s climbing out the window. Entirely reasonable. The party was on the second floor of the office building, but there’s a sturdy fire escape stair that leads down to the sidewalk. So this is—

—Reasonable. Yes. Entirely.

Okay, so honestly, what it really is? Is fun. Like being sixteen again, sneaking out at night, the deliciously wicked sensation of escaping.

Freedom! she thinks gleefully as she jumps down to land on the sidewalk.

Now to go back to her apartment and prepare to be kidnapped.

Megamind knows where she lives; he can come and get her from there this year.

Roxanne slips off her boots just inside her apartment door, then unzips her dress and takes it off as she walks to the laundry room. She puts stain remover on the sleeve, and then she drapes the dress over the dryer to let it set.

She walks back to the kitchen, pours herself a glass of orange juice to wash away the taste of the cheap red punch, drinks it standing at the kitchen counter in her underwear.

The delightful feeling of getting away with something still persists; she climbs the stairs to her bedroom with a spring in her step and an extra sway in her hips.

She will, of course, be needing to get dressed again. She’s certain she’ll be able to find her old cat ear headband and tail somewhere…

…or…

She shouldn’t, of course she shouldn’t; she can’t actually wear the evil queen costume—

—but maybe she could just…try it on.

“Uh, Sir—there’s a bit of a problem here,” Minion’s voice comes through the watch clearly.

Megamind, pacing restlessly beside the control panel, stops.

A problem? There’s a problem? Oh god.

He shouldn’t have sent Minion; he should have gone himself, like he usually does for Halloween. The Halloween kidnappings are some of his favorites; allowing himself to retrieve Roxanne for a kidnapping instead of sending Minion is always a special treat.

This year, though, after last week, after the whole thing with Psycho Delic, after—

(she’d screamed; she’d looked at him and screamed; Megamind had turned her around in the haze of smoke and her eyes had fallen on his face and she’d screamed in terror and)

—well, after all that, Megamind had felt it would be—wiser—to send Minion in his place.

Only now, it seemed, there's a problem.

“What kind of problem?” Megamind bites out, placing his hands on the control panel to steady himself.

“Well, it’s—Miss Ritchi—”

Megamind’s stomach drops.

(oh god no Roxanne please no)

“What about Miss Ritchi?” Megamind asks, lips numb.

“She’s not here, Sir.”

“She hasn’t arrived yet?”

“No, she—I was discreet, just like you said, Sir; I wore the disguise watch, and I asked around—she was here earlier, everybody said, but she’s not here now and nobody saw her leave…”

Megamind feels himself go cold over.

(nobody saw her leave; something’s happened; she’s been taken; oh god)

“Sir? Sir?”

It’s possible that her boyfriend came to pick her up from the party, possible she left to have a private moment with her boyfriend before going to the Scott mansion for the annual Halloween party there.

As always, that thought, the thought of Roxanne with Metro Man, makes Megamind’s heart twist in a way that actually feels physically painful, and yet, he hopes that she is with Metro Man right now, because that is so much better than the thought that she might be in danger.

“Stay there,” Megamind says, “check the rest of the building, make sure she’s not there. Call me if you find her. If not—call me when you finish the search. I’m heading over to her apartment.”

“All right, Sir.”

He takes the invisible car.

The hoverbike would be faster, but it’s not anything like subtle, and if Roxanne really has been taken, then—

His mind races along panicked lines as he starts the car, puts it in gear. Another attempt by a villain to set themselves up as his rival, so soon after the confrontation with Psycho Delic? Had he not been clear enough in demonstrating why that was a bad fucking idea? Had—

—oh god.

Perhaps he had been too clear. Perhaps he'd given away the fact that he—if someone had seen the way he reacted to Roxanne screaming, the way getting her out of harm’s way had been his first priority, above dealing with the other drugged and panicked people, above dismantling the smoke generator, above finding Psycho Delic, above everything—

—Megamind had pushed her into Metro Man’s arms and demanded that the hero fly her to safety, if somebody saw that—

His mind presents him with a series of horrifying images in quick succession.

Roxanne screaming as she looks at him, Roxanne screaming again but this time in pain, Roxanne hurt and bleeding, Roxanne lying lifeless on the ground with her eyes glazed and unfocused and staring at nothing, Roxanne dead on a morgue table an autopsy knife slicing through her cold flesh and an identification tag on her toe, Roxanne—

Panic blocks out the rest of his thoughts in a white blur.

(he doesn’t remember the drive to her apartment, later, recalls it only in little disconnected moments: his hands on the wheel, taking a sharp turn; passing a particular storefront; turning to avoid a group of children in costume, pulling swiftly into the alley behind her apartment building and slamming the car into park.)

He comes to himself a little, then, although most of his mind is still screaming white static. But he recovers his thoughts enough to realize that Minion has the disguise watch; he hasn’t gotten around to updating the second communicator watch to include the hard light hologram tech.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK he should have taken the hoverbike after all; at least with that he could have landed on her balcony; it’s no use the car being invisible if he’s stuck here on the ground looking like himself.

(call Minion; get the watch—no no no; there isn’t time for that; there’s no time)

((Roxanne on the morgue table being pushed into the freezer, being pushed into the crematorium furnace, being—))

He’s tears off his cape and spiked mantle and exits the car swiftly. The fire escape—there. He jumps, catches hold of it, and then pulls himself up and starts to climb.

It’s dark now; if he does this fast enough, he might be able to escape notice.

He’ll go to Roxanne’s balcony—no, no, not the balcony; if whoever has Roxanne has been watching him, they’ll know he usually uses the balcony—

Her bedroom window, then; he’d never use her bedroom window under ordinary circumstances; if they’ve been watching his interactions with Roxanne, they’ll know that, so they won’t suspect—

When he reaches the window, he glances inside. There’s no one he can see, and there’s no sign of a struggle. The door of the closet is only partially closed, but the opening is too small to offer a good view for someone hiding inside with a gun. And when he leans over, so that his body is visible in the window, holds himself there for a long moment, no one shoots.

If they’ve got her here, they’re downstairs.

Megamind jimmies the window open as quickly and quietly as he can, pulls his gun from its holster, and slips into the room. Gun upraised, he begins to move towards the closed bedroom door. He reaches for the handle and—

The door of the closet swings open.

Megamind pivots immediately, aiming the de-gun at the closet door and the person who—

He freezes.

She freezes.

The whole world, actually seems to freeze for a moment, like time has forgotten how to move, because it’s—

...to be continued.

Happy Halloween fic! :DD

This story is in four parts; I'm going to post a chapter a day until the 31st (with one day having two chapters posted; I haven't decided which, yet.)

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!

[chibioniyuri]

Claimed by Shadow Reread: Chapters 11-15

Chapter 11

In which Cassie chats with Marlowe, is nearly violated by the Fae, and loses a friend.

Who is Marlowe fooling here? We have no desire to manipulate you. Not said but totally intended: We won’t have to, you’ll follow the orders of your master. Cassie knows the score here. I’m curious, though, about this 1000+ kill count of Pritkin’s. Who does the Circle have him offing? I’m sure it’s not complete innocents like Marlowe is trying to imply, and the number probably isn’t outrageous for as long as Pritkin’s service is. Though the fact that he’s the one the Circle sends when they want someone really, really dead means that he’s not being pompous when he declares things like if I wanted you dead, you’d be dead. Still, this isn’t something we see picked up again later, that I remember.

I’m not going to cover the middle of the chapter; I just can’t do it. I am going to ask, though: how much of a coincidence was that stick falling, at just the right time, to land near enough to Cassie for her to use it?

There’s a discrepancy in the background Cassie gives about Tomas. He challenged Alejandro for Senate seat, and Alejandro chose Louis-Cesar as a champion. LC won and claimed Tomas as a servant. But here, Cassie says that Louis-Cesar challenged and won against Alejandro and took Tomas as claim. So was the timeline changed without Cassie’s awareness, or is this an author’s mistake?

Ahh, look, Tomas is also saying that Cassie is belittling other people’s choices. “He knew his own mind…. You do him no honor by questioning his judgment now.” and then: “You take too much on yourself, Cassie. Not everything is your fault, not every crisis is yours to solve.” And yet, that’s all Cassie can do when other people get hurt or die “because of her.” She cares a lot, and it wins her a lot of allies. But at some point, I wonder what effect all this mental anguish will have on her.

Chapter 12

In which Cassie completes a ritual, meets a god, and makes several deals.

And here comes the answer to the geis question: Having sex with the creator or the designated substitute will nullify the geis. That’s the escape clause. That’s it. The thing that would normally seal it is instead the thing that ends it because Mircea’s negotiating pride would be hurt if he depended on a spell to get his way (or that’s Tomas’s interpretation, so take with a grain of salt).

Slightly more complicated to fix due to time-traveling shenanigans, but there’s your answer, Cassie. What’s Cassie’s answer? I don't like that, I'm going to keep looking.

“It’s supposed to be a ritual, not a marathon.” This tells me such bad things about every Pythia’s first experience.

“I’d had about enough of flying by the seat of my pants. The past week had taught me the hard way that I sucked at it.” Not true, Cassie. It’s when you shine at your brightest.

Tomas has a point here. What’s to stop a previous Pythia from constantly hopping? Cassie said that ghosts expend a lot of energy attacking people, more than they receive back, usually. And she’s been kicked out of mages before due to shields. But really, what’s to stop someone from living forever, hopping from norm to norm, if the Pythia fails to stop it? It’s introduced and dropped, and I’m incredibly suspicious of things like that.

Faerie time is so freaking weird. They saved Francoise in 1661, I think. So, human time, centuries ago. But only a few years have passed in Faerie? And Radella is larger now than she was when Cassie met her in TtD, so does that mean Radella was younger in TtD but doesn’t remember Cassie now? Guess I’ll see if EtN works this out more thoroughly to my satisfaction.

Oh God. This chat about the Codex Merlini with the Dark Fey king was such a clue by four. Why in the world would Pritkin be so upset about tracking it down if he wasn’t already aware of what the lost volume contained?

I feel so badly for Billy here. I can’t imagine the fear and uncertainty of what will happen when you slip through a portal. Especially when you start overthinking it. I didn’t have a body when I got here, will I still have it when I leave? If I can’t keep it, will it hurt to lose it? Will I die all over again? Will I even come back?

Chapter 13

In which Cassie tries to blend in and fails, then travels back to the past with a stowaway for a showdown.

Try to look normal, sitting in a bar run by demons, listening to zombie Elvis sing “Jailhouse Rock” with a vampire for a companion? Cassie, how do these things happen to you? Don’t really care, though, I love the humor.

Casanova screeching in an unsexy voice. Fantastic, the vamp we know and love makes his appearance. No more of that suave demeanor from the beginning, it was too OOC for me.

I just… can you imagine the bar scene from Pritkin’s POV? He wakes up shoved in a closet. Sits up, knocks away whatever cleaning supplies had tumbled over him, leaves the closet. Hears screams. Closes his eyes, bumps his forehead with his fist because he knows who’s likely to be in that mess. Enters the bar, where there’s fire everywhere, people screaming and running around in panic, some lady covered in blood trying to get away from the zombie chasing her, the Graeae in all the mess, mages fighting zombies and vampires, and there in all the mess…. Cassie.

Another clue by four! Casanova, serving two masters, vamp and incubus, running away from Pritkin…

And we’re in the past again, hurrah. Cassie doesn’t do much to sell Pritkin on helping her, but  think that’s what winds up winning him over. She’s not trying to bamboozle him, just giving it to him straight.

Chapter 14

In which Cassie gets involved in a family feud and prevents another assassination attempt.

Not much to comment on this chapter. ‘Twas a sad way for Mac’s wards to go out.

Chapter 15

In which Cassie learns a lesson about dealing with rogues.

Do we ever figure out what happens to Mac’s lizard? It’s not mentioned again after this. But, at least one survived.

Pritkin goes, very quickly, from believing Pythias are incapable of possession in TtD to watching calmly as Agnes fights Myra for control of her body in CbS. I can only imagine that, after he confirms that Cassie isn’t the demon he thought she was in TtD, part of his “going to get answers” was talking directly to Agnes. He’s much too deferential to her in CbS, and he’s also aware of her plan to take Myra with her.

Cassie maybe cuts her hand on the knife (sudden pain in her hand?), Pritkin looks “lost” after Agnes passes, and his eyes didn’t focus when he looked at Cassie. Maybe hints of something, maybe nothing. Probably nothing. I’m looking for monsters in shadows, more than likely.

Then we get the setup for the next book, Pritkin swearing himself to Cassie’s service, and some classic Casskin banter.

Whoo, the end.

[jakepaule]

Music 2016

Top 10 Albums

1.     Car Seat Headrest – Teens of Denial

Turn your radio all the way up for this one. This album is saturated with high quality musicianship and lyrical creativity. I was impressed right from the start and it just keeps getting better and better. Will Toledo masterfully blends humor, depression, anxiety, and emotional self-understanding with crafty songwriting. He anecdotes his experience with escaping the wreckage of his teenage years and entering into adulthood. Toledo puts his heart and soul into this one. The album is reflective, introspective, and spirited. Just buy the album, please.

Hot Tracks: “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales”, “The Ballad of Costa Concordia”

2.     Frank Ocean – Blonde

Frank Ocean achieved huge commercial success with Channel Orange, his debut album influenced heavily by R&B and Soul. In Blonde, Ocean leans away from R&B and more towards experimental hip-hop. The whole album is rich with other themes of nostalgia, mortality, and sexuality. He opens up on his inner thoughts and ties them to some significant allusions like Elliott Smith lyrics (“This is not my life/It’s just a fond farewell to a friend”). I can’t get enough of this album. I admire how much work he put into it and how flexible his music really is. He reaches into the melting pot of music and hired help from Jonny Greenwood and the London Contemporary Orchestra, Alex G, André 3000, Justin Vernon, and many more.

Hot Tracks: “Nights”, “Seigfried”

3.     Radiohead – A Moon Shaped Pool

Back in May, Radiohead blacked themselves out on social media. They released a short stop-motion animated clip of a ceremonial witch burning. Then, their single “Burn the Witch” came out on Spotify, the musical platform Thom Yorke had previously spurned. I was immediately attracted and hyped for a new album to redeem themselves after their mediocre album The King of Limbs. And this one did live up to my expectations. Radiohead and Nigel Godrich always have some tricks up their sleeves to creatively revolutionize the way they produce music from album to album. For this one, they decided to use magnetic tape and I think it really worked for them.

Hot Tracks: “Glass Eyes”, “True Love Waits”

4.     Pinegrove – Cardinal

 I first heard of Pinegrove while listening to NPR’s All Songs Considered podcast during a car ride this past summer. The first song I heard was “Old Friends” and I was immediately hooked. Lead singer Evan Stephens Hall has an incredibly distinct and memorable voice fueled by powerful, heavy lyrics. Hall sorts through his feelings on life’s most critical personal connections and weaves them intricately throughout his music. There was never a dull moment in this album; it is colorful and vibrant all the way through. Give this one your full attention, because I really think Hall develops an instantaneous bond with his listeners and cultivates that bond throughout the album.

Hot Tracks: “Waveform”, “Old Friends”

5.       A Tribe Called Quest – We got it from Here… Thank You 4 Your Service

Tribe really lit up the place with this one. It’s been a long time since they released anything. The last I remembered from any of them was “Dear Dilla,” a special single performed by the late great Phife Dawg. The album has a lot of interesting collaborative work with Jack White and André 3000 and a track that include a sampling of Elton John. This one might be a little more politically charged than their other albums, but not in-your-face annoyingly political. It challenges us and calls us to mobilize and stand up for our rights. I’ve been jamming to this one since it came out. Give this one a good listen.

Hot Tracks: “Dis Generation”, “We The People…”

6.     Bon Iver – 22, A Million

Bon Iver fans everywhere had been yearning for something new, but most people (including myself) probably didn’t expect anything like this. The sounds are very unfamiliar and somewhat unsettling, but they mix well with cryptic lyrics to foster a brand new soundscape. Just look at the track listing and you’ll get what I mean by cryptic and unfamiliar.  22, A Million will be regarded as his most bold, inventive LP to date. I strongly recommend purchasing a physical copy, because this album was built up to be a multi-media experience.

Hot Tracks: “29 #Strafford APTS”, “8 (circle)”

7.     Whitney – Light Upon the Lake

I believe the first time I heard of Whitney was over the summer while listening to NPR’s podcast All Songs Considered (along with Pinegrove). Later, I heard in a trip out west with some friends. Many thanks to Bob Boilen, Robin Hilton, and Andrew for opening me up to these awesome musicians. This album really stuck with me after I first purchased it later in the summer. Impressive musicianship, graceful flow, and beautiful imagery are some of the main qualities of this album. The best way to describe this album is perhaps trying chocolate for the first time. The album has some distinctly vintage characteristics, but comes off as an easy and immensely satisfying listen. Buy it. 

Hot Tracks: “No Woman”, “Golden Days”

8.     Hamilton Leithauser & Rostam – I Had a Dream That You Were Mine

The opening track, “A 1000 Times,” has a tendency to get stuck in my head every time I listen to it, but I don’t mean that in a bad way. Hamilton of The Walkmen and Rostam of Vampire Weekend combined their superpowers to masterfully create what I consider to be the most elegant album of the year. The album is exactly what I would expect to hear if The Walkmen and Vampire weekend merged (go figure). Hamilton’s vocal prowess and Rostam’s musical genius (and supporting vocals) formed an incredibly powerful album. Give it a listen, sing along, and get steamrolled by Hamilton’s energetic voice.  A 1000 thumbs up.

Hot Tracks: “A 1000 Times”, “1959”

9.     Chance the Rapper – Coloring Book

Chance is the man. I absolutely love his brand of gospel inspired hip hop. To me, Coloring Book is really what it claims to be, a coloring book. He painted a beautiful portrait of his faith on the canvas of modern hip hop music. “Blessings” really stood out to me as a perfect example of gospel/hip hop fusion. Gotta love Chance’s versatility and skill. Stream this one A$AP.

Hot Tracks: “Summer Friends”, “Blessings”

10.     Parquet Courts – Human Performance

This spot on my top 10 list was difficult to narrow down as 2016 was an amazing year for music. Parquet Courts’ new album Human Performance is actually the first full-length album I personally listened to by them. The gnarly guitar licks and catchy rhythms really grabbed me on this one. Some of the vocals could be off-putting to some. Andrew Savage’s vocals sound to me like a punk-ish mix between Elvis Costello and David Byrne (maybe?). Definitely an interesting and fun listen.

Hot Tracks: “Berlin Got Blurry”, “Human Performance”

Honorable Mention

Jim James – Eternally Even

Kevin Morby – Singing Saw

James Blake – The Colour in Anything

Kendrick Lamar – untitled, unmastered

Wilco – Schmilco

David Bowie – Blackstar

Hamburger Helper Mixtape

Disappointing Albums of 2016

The Avett Brothers – True Sadness

Truly disappointing. The album really is True Sadness. It was actually challenging for me to sit down and listen to this one (not unlike my experience with Magpie and the Dandelion and The Carpenter). The Avett Brothers have taken a significant departure from “roots revival” since A Carolina Jubilee and seem to be trying to make some profound musical statements with this one. It appears that they are trying so hard to make some extraordinary changes in their sonic arsenal by introducing electronics and mixing it in the pot with their typical folk sound. I don’t know if this is a product of an attempt at redefining a genre or if sitting near the top of Billboard’s 200 has led them to spoon feed listeners with their very own electronic folk fusion because it’s the latest, coolest trend.

Wild Nothing – Life of Pause

When the single “To Know You” came out in February, I got immediately hyped for Wild Nothing’s next album. But definitely a little bit too hyped. Virginia Tech alumnus Jack Tatum’s slick debut album Gemini and sophomore release Nocturne opened me up to the indie pop genre. Tatum’s world of fantasy has molded into something quite different with this one. Life of Pause contains some high points with “To Know You” and “TV Queen”, but the album felt a little less imaginative and cohesive to me. Tatum still has a talent for creating some interesting soundscapes and we can clearly see that with some of his interesting xylophone and synth work, but I feel this one is lagging behind his previous full-length albums.

Notable Singles

Cloud Nothings – “Modern Act”

Maggie Rogers – “Alaska”

Father John Misty – “Real Love Baby”

Sunflower Bean – “Easier Said”

Blood Orange – “Best to You”

JP

[patdsam-blog]

A-Z of Music

So I saw this thing that Ryan Ross did so I was like wow I should do that bc I have nothing better to do so yeah. For every letter of the alphabet I’ll name bands or musicians that start with that letter and then I’ll recommend a song of theirs to listen to.

A The All-American Rejects Listen to: Gives You Hell All Time Low Listen to: Dear Maria The Alvarez Kings Listen to: Fear to Feel Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness Listen to: Fire Escape

B The Beatles Listen to: Happiness is a Warm Gun The Brobecks Listen to: Better Than Me Billy Joel Listen to: Big Shot Blink-182 Listen to: What’s My Age, Again?

C The Cab Listen to: One Of THOSE Nights Coldplay Listen to: The Scientist

D Dallon Weekes Listen to: Please Don’t Jump (It’s Christmas) David Bowie (rip) Listen to: Starman

E Everclear Listen to: Father of Mine Elton John Listen to: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road Elvis Presley Listen to: Can’t Help Falling in Love

F Fall Out Boy Listen to: 20 Dollar Nose Bleed Frank Sinatra Listen to: My Funny Valentine Fleetwood Mac Listen to: Rhiannon Florence and the Machine Listen to: Ship to Wreck The Foundations Listen to: Build Me Up Buttercup Fun. Listen to: Why Am I the One

G Gerard Way Listen to: No Shows Green Day Listen to: Minority The Goo Goo Dolls Listen to: Slide

H Halsey Listen to: Roman Holiday Hoobastank Listen to: The Reason

I Iggy Pop Listen to: The Passenger

J John Lennon Listen to: Imagine Jack White Listen to: We’re Going to Be Friends Journey Listen to: Don’t Stop Believing

K Kansas Listen to: Carry on Wayward Son The Killers Listen to: Somebody Told Me

L Lit Listen to: My Own Worst Enemy The Lumineers Listen to: Ophelia

M Melanie Martínez Listen to: Mrs. Potato Head My Chemical Romance Listen to: Vampire Money Misterwives Listen to: Reflections

N Nirvana Listen to: All Apologies

O Oasis Listen to: Champagne Supernova The Offspring Listen to: Why Don’t you Get a Job

P Paramore Listen to: All I Wanted Panic! At The Disco Listen to: There’s a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered, Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet Plain White Tee’s Listen to: Hey There Delilah

Q Queen Listen to: I Want To Break Free

R Radiohead Listen to: Karma Police Red Hot Chili Peppers Listen to: Soul To Squeeze The Rolling Stones Listen to: Angie

S Semisonic Listen to: Closing Time The Smiths Listen to: Girlfriend In A Coma Smashing Pumpkins Listen to: 1979 The Struts Listen to: Kiss This

T Troye Sivan Listen to: Talk Me Down Twenty One Pilots Listen to: Trapdoor Train Listen to: Drops of Jupiter

U U2 Listen to: Sunday Bloody Sunday

V The Verve Listen to: Bittersweet Symphony

W Weezer Listen to: Beverly Hills The White Stripes Listen to: Seven Nation Army Whitney Houston Listen to: I Wanna Dance With Somebody Wolf Alice Listen to: Moaning Lisa Smile

X XTC Listen to: idk I couldn’t even find a band at first lmao

Y The Young Veins Listen to: Change

Z Ziggy Stardust (I couldn’t think of anything else so I just went with one of David Bowie’s personas okay) Listen to: 5 Years

[austindailyglobe-blog]

Police Find 13 Siblings Chained Up In California Home

The siblings found chained to their beds in their family home begged police for food after they were rescued following a daring escape by their brave sister, it has been revealed.

The thirteen brothers and sisters – including the 17-year-old girl who fled the home and alerted cops – were all desperately malnourished and pleaded with officers for food and water after they were freed, police say.

The family, from Perris, California, were found by police from Riverside County Sheriff’s Department on Sunday morning. It is not known how long they were chained, padlocked and shackled before they were discovered.

They were only freed after their sister broke out of the home, grabbed a cell phone and called 911, leading police to arrest their parents David Allen Turpin, 57, and Louise Anna Turpin, 49, before charging them with torture and child endangerment.

It has now been revealed that their parents filed for bankruptcy back in 2011 and were up to $500,000 in debt, despite David Turpin earning $140,000 a year as an engineer for a top defense contractor.

Two parents have been arrested after 13 of their children were found shackled to beds inside their home in California

Parents David Allen Turpin, 57, and Louise Anna Turpin, 49, were arrested and charged with torture and child endangerment

The siblings, aged from two to 29 years old, were immediately taken to hospital after they were saved from the ‘foul-smelling’ room on Sunday morning.

‘The victims appeared to be malnourished and very dirty. Perris Station Detectives were dispatched to the residence for further investigation,’ police said.

‘Child Protective Services (CPS) and Adult Protective Services (APS) arrived to assist in the investigation. The victims were provided with food and beverages after they claimed to be starving.’

The Turpins, who recently renewed their wedding vows in an Elvis wedding in Las Vegas and loved taking their family to Disneyland, were between $100,000 and $500,000 in debt when they filed for bankruptcy in 2011, the New York Times reported.

David Turpin was earning a $140,000 salary at the time at defense firm Northrop Grumman while his wife was a stay-at-home mom. He previously worked for Lockheed Martin but left the job in 2011, the Los Angeles Times reported.

Their bankruptcy lawyer, Ivan Trahan, told the New York Times that the couple often spoke fondly of their children but he never saw them.

‘They spoke about them highly,’ Mr. Trahan said. ‘We remember them as the very nice couple. This is shocking.’

Neighbors said they family were unusual and reclusive, with some saying they did not even know children lived in the home.

Police originally thought all of the victims were children but soon discovered seven were adults. The family are pictured above

‘Things 1 to 13’: The family are seen in Dr Seuss-style shirts, and all in blue jeans, in a family photo taken in April 2016

  Neighbors told the Press-Enterprise they were horrified to learn of the allegations.

Andrew Santillan, who lives nearby said: ‘I didn’t know there were kids in the house. I had no idea this was going on.’

Zinzi and Ricardo Ross live on the same road as the Turpins.

‘It’s very shocking. Very devastating,’ Mr. Ross said.

‘It’s crazy, I can’t believe this is going on,’ Mrs. Ross added.

But Andria Valdez said she had seen the children before, joking that they were like the vampire family in the Twilight books and films because they were ‘really, really pale’ and ‘only came out at night’.

Another local said the children were seen building a Nativity scene in the front yard of their home a few years ago, but were ‘weird about it’ when complimented on their work.

Kimberly Milligan, 50, told the Los Angeles Times that the young children she saw leaving the house looked pale and were very quiet.

‘They looked at us like a child who wants to make themselves invisible,’ she said.

‘We’re not acres apart. How did no one see anything?’

State records appear to suggest David Turpin home-schooled his six children at their address, calling it Sandcastle Day School.

David Turpin’s parents, James and Betty Turpin, told ABC News they were ‘surprised and shocked’ at the news.

The couple, who live in West Virginia, said they had not visited the family for four or five years but had spoken to them on the phone, although not with their grandchildren.

The Turpin family, as well as extended relatives, are seen enjoying a holiday at Disneyland in California in 2011

House of horrors: The victims, all siblings aged between two and 29 years old, were being held captive in a home in Perris, California, police said. Media are seen outside the house

Loved-up: Pictures on Facebook show the Turpins getting married, with their children next to them at the altar

Playing happy families: The Turpins are pictured smiling at their wedding, which was conducted by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas

The siblings – of which six are adults and seven are children – were only found after the 17-year-old girl broke out of the home and called the police.

Officers arrived at the home early on Sunday morning and found several children and adults chained and padlocked to beds in a foul-smelling room.

They were malnourished, dirty and all of them have been hospitalized, police said.

The victims were given food and drinks and Child Protective Services and Adult Protective Services will care for them once they are well enough to be released from a hospital.

Andrew Santillan, who lives nearby to the home (pictured) said: ‘I didn’t know there were kids in the house. I had no idea this was going on’

Mr. and Mrs. Turpin were arrested and charged with nine counts of torture and 10 of child endangerment. Neither of them has a serious criminal record. Camera crews are seen outside the home

Neighbors stand outside a home where a couple was arrested after police discovered that 13 people had been held captive in filthy conditions

Police initially thought all of the victims were children but soon discovered seven were adults.

Mr. and Mrs. Turpin were arrested and charged with nine counts of torture and 10 of child endangerment. Neither of them has a serious criminal record.

The couple is being held at Robert Presley Detention Center east of Los Angeles and their bail has been set at $9million. They will appear in court on Thursday.

Pictures on Facebook show the Turpins renewing their vows at a wedding ceremony in Las Vegas by an Elvis impersonator, with 13 children posing for photos in matching outfits for the boys and the girls.

The 10 girls are all dressed in pink dresses with white tights and white shoes, while the boys are seen in suits with purple ties – and bowl haircuts like their father.

Other pictures show the family smiling on a trip to Disneyland, while another shows them wearing Dr. Seuss-style shirts, with each child’s top emblazoned with ‘Thing 1’ to ‘Thing 13’.

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Police Find 13 Siblings Chained Up In California Home was originally published on Austin Daily Globe

[kingveverhart]

Antoinette gets pregnant. 

Normally, between a couple who are committed, financially well off and already proven to raise one successful spawn (example A: Elvis) this is not such a big deal. These things happen.

Except when they don't, or rather shouldn't. 

-because Antoniette is a vampire, and it takes them a grand two months to realize what is happening to her (when her stomach has a more noticeable bump than she can pass off as food babies). 

"So..." She stares at Charlie, who has a distant gaze at her. Or rather at the bump. Between them, on the table is an assortment of magical tools (runes, tarot cards, bloody entrails of critters that the dogs are whining to get to), dubious old wives tell items (if you chew this water reed twice and it becomes blue, you're knocked up the duff, if red it's twins.) and three of the best pregnancy sticks the local shop had to offer. 

-and in the corner is a put out looking Roman (who had confirmed it as well, but tilting his head and looking at Antoniette weirdly). 

Everyone is silent, grave and waiting. 

"So. I'm going to be a big brother? Awesome." Elvis breaks it and smiles. "Feels a bit weird considering I'm in my twenties and mum's a vamp, but hey. We were already a weird family, right? High five to us for raising the bar." He waltzes over to his mother, kisses her cheek and high fives her with a gentle slap. 

It's weird, it's impossible and dangerous; but it's also theirs. 

+

Charlie never really figures it out, the best he can assume is that it was simply a matter of timing. Turning vampires human for short periods of time is something he can do. Has. Usually however it takes concentration, and takes a great deal of energy and power from him...but Charlie also likes to experiment with drugs, concoctions and potions just to see what happens. Sometimes that makes his power spike, sometimes the effects make him horny and hungry and it's very very possibly that he and Toni fucked during one of those spikes and voila, magica pregnancy. 

Awkwardly enough it's not his first. 

The only difference this time around, Antoinette is not only a woman, but she's also carrying child and it becomes clear that it's at an accelerated rate. One month she's hardly showing the next she can't sit up without help. 

"This. This is frustrating." She snaps, rolling to and fro to get out of their bed and failing, a week ago she could. Now, she can't. She looks six months pregnant and fucking feels it. "I want doughnuts, Charlie. And chocolate. And Ice cream. And Fries-"

She gorges herself on food more than usual, because she can no longer stand the taste of blood nor drink it. The baby has hijacked her body, her taste buds and stomach. If it were any other vampire, they would have wasted away, but Toni is old and strong and while she does become weaken it's not more than the average mortal would be. 

Except it gets worse and worse, and by the time they are read for the birth; they aren't.

(That's not true, Elvis takes his role of older brother seriously and goes out of his way to help his parents prepare, including painting the baby's room, setting it up and throwing them a baby shower. Elvis is the one who reads all the how to books and questions them like pop quizzes on how they raised him.)

What they aren't prepared for is how to get the baby out. Toni can't push the baby out, her body won't allow that amount of tearing and natural pain to happen. They can't go to any doctor -mortal or wizard wise, because vampire births are not a thing and if they ever want their child to have a normal life whatsoever, it's better that no one knows. 

So it's up to Charlie.

"I've only done this on corpses." He tells her, making a face and holding up the blade. Flesh is flesh, and yes he knows the insides of bodies and yes, he's worked through still hot blood and guts...but never while the body could talk or move. 

"I mean, if it helps, I kinda still am?" Toni huffs at him, there's sweat on her face and dripping down her back from the exturation she uses to refrain from screaming. The pain mounts and she shuts her eyes. "Do it now, Charlie." Charlie does his best to use his magic to keep her body from feeling anything -but she feels his hands. Moving and sparking within, his powers dipping in and coaxing the new life out. For a second her vision whitens into nothing -but a baby's cry brings her back and she laughs. 

She has a child. Born of her body, with the man she loves. 

+

Charlie hands the wet, messy babe to Toni and sews her up with the tightest stitches possible even though her body is already healing as it should. 

"It's a boy." Toni whispers, cuddling her son. She kisses his cheek, he squawks indignantly as only an infant can and she attempts to wrap him up in a blanket that Elvis hands her the second he rushes in. 

"Aw, damn. I was hoping for a little sister." Elvis settles into a chair and looks over his sibling, "So out with it, what's the poor bastard's name? I know you have something. I mean, look what I got burdened with."

"You mean my name?" Charlie turns and washes his hands of blood, moving towards his little family. "I was thinking James or Hale. My older brothers..."

"Or. Hey. Maybe something original? What about Todd or Tom? Tommy boy!" Elvis unhelpfully suggests, "I could trade. I'll pick a new name and he can be Charlie Elvis Everhart the Second. You know since, he's actually your offspring of normal means, kinda?"

"Shut up, don't think you can get out of the family that easy." Toni whispers, her voice soft because of the child. "You're our son."

Elvis pretends not to melt, and instead simply leans into her space. 

"Fine, but if I have to have family name, so does he." Elvis thinks hard. He actually doesn't know too much about the Everharts, other than what they've done. He knows in another time, in another country he had numerous aunts and uncles. He knows that their grandmother had a fondness for music that comes through in their middle names, that their grandfather escaped a curse and-"What about Casanova, for Grandpa?"

Charlie stills. In his new happiness, he doesn't like to think about his own father, and the disappointment he must be....but perhaps this will be a step in the right direction. "Casanova Reed, for Lou Reed." 

"Cas for short." Elvis interjects, "You lucky bastard, you get a cool nickname.”

"We could always nickname him Casper." Toni points out, grinning. "Witch, Vampire and Ghost. Get it? Like a supernatural sitcom."

Cas starts crying as if he hates the nickname.