#I can’t count the times I couldn’t move during the night because he was sleeping on my arm

[charredmuffin]

We’re going to have to put down our thirteen year old cat today.

His kidneys are failing. Kidney failure isn’t really treatable and while we managed regardless for the past three years since we got the diagnosis it’s gotten significantly worse six weeks ago when he started to really lose weight. We went to the vet where he got treatment (expensive but we love him) and he got a bit better again, gained weight and all. Then, two days ago it got so so much worse. When I went to sleep yesterday I didn’t know if I’d wake up to a cat still alive or not. I did. He got into bed for cuddles but when he left he was stumbling from weakness.

I hate everything about this.

[after-witch]

Horrorfest: The Next Time We Fall Asleep, We Could Die! [Yandere Demon!Dabi x Reader]

Title: The Next Time We Fall Asleep, We Could Die! [Yandere Demon!Dabi x Reader]

Synopsis: You try not to fall asleep--and it fails spectacularly.

For Horrorfest request: sleep paralysis demon dabi x reader please?

Word count: 700ish

notes: yandere, non-graphic sexual assault

The bedsheets underneath you are rumpled and ill-used, tossing and turning with your body as you try desperately to stay awake while still getting something like rest. An online blog said–and you hoped it was true–that if you laid down in bed and simply rested, you’d get the benefits of taking an actual power nap.

And sure, you were trying to replace your 8-square-hours-a-night with fake naps, but it had to help. Even just a little. Just a tad, just a titch. If it didn’t, well, it meant you were finally going out of your fucking mind.

But you couldn’t sleep. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t. You won’t. You lift your head and slam it down on the pillow to prove your point. To keep yourself awake, too. 

Because if you fall asleep, o God, if you fall asleep, you know he’ll come for you. O God, he would pin you down and make you scream and cry, and–

O God, you think, pressing your head against the cool pillow, I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.

“Do you always quote Hamlet when you fall asleep, or are you just feeling extra pretentious today?” A voice drawls in your ear, and no, no-no-no-no-no-no–

You can’t move an inch. Can’t do so much as blink, even. Your eyes are stuck open wide, staring into the darkness, and you smell him before you see him; the acrid smoke that sticks inside your nostrils like tar, no matter how many times you desperately breathe out, snorting like a child having a tantrum.

And then you see him, the whites of his teeth gleaming with his grin as he straddles you, body impossibly heavy as he keeps you pinned to the bed. Not that you can struggle, anyway; during these dreams, these nightmares, you can’t do so much as wiggle a finger. Move a muscle. Open your mouth to scream for help or beg for mercy that won’t come.

“You’re so cute like this,” he says, breathing hot air into your face. Everything about him is warm. His body, his breath, the touch of his fingers as they roam across your skin. He’s burned, you know that; burned and stapled up, a patchwork of stitches.

“You’re like a pretty doll for me to play with. You like that, don’t you?” 

You don’t. You want to scream this in his face. Or beg him to leave you alone. But you don’t even have the privilege of doing that. Instead you’re stuck, silent, immobile, unable to do anything but stare helplessly as he does whatever he wants with you.

He grins wider, and you swear his smile splits, but it’s so hard to tell in the dark. That’s where he always keeps you, in the dark, on your bed, underneath him as he touches and pokes and everything always leads to the same eventuality: him inside you, warm and heavy and too rough, and it’s the only time your body moves during the whole ordeal. 

Not because you gain any control over it, but because the force of his thrusts force your body to shift on the sheets, a cold sweat sticking to your back by the end of it.

Sometimes it feels like he keeps you for days instead of hours. But every time you wake up, body drenched and sore like you’ve been struggling against an impossible force in your sleep, it’s always simply the next morning. 

A simple nightmare, that’s all, you’ve told yourself time and time again. But simple nightmares don’t leave your muscles aching for days. Simple nightmares don’t waft the lingering scent of cigarette smoke over your pillowcase. 

Simple nightmares don’t always end with the same exact thing–the scarred demon kissing your cheek and crooning out,

“See you tomorrow night, yeah?”

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : OT8 x F!Reader TW : all fluff! ; some members are kind of suggestive, but it’s mainly fluffy ; Word Count : 3.4k combined A/N : I feel bad for breaking all of your hearts with the last headcanon post, so I’ve come with a fluffy apology! Request : Nope! I wrote it because I love you all!

Bangchan

“Good morning, love bug!” Chan called, somehow still managing to keep quiet although you heard him from the bathroom as he stood in the middle of the bedroom. You gave him a lopsided grin, your hair wrapped in a towel and your toothbrush hanging out of the corner of your mouth. 

“Mornin’ bubs.” You managed to say, toothpaste dripping down to your chin and you quickly leaned over the sink before it could fall onto your clothes or onto the floor. 

Chan snickered as he made his way into the bathroom to stand behind you, wearing only his boxers, his bare chest pressed against your back, his curly hair a tousled mess from just waking up and the bags under his eyes visible from late nights in the studio. “Is it bad that I got slightly turned on from the sight of that dripping from your lips? Hmm… I’ve got something better for-“ 

You whipped around, pressing your finger to his lips. “Nothing like that until you get on a better work schedule. You’re already exhausted, I’m not adding to that.” He pouted against your finger and you rolled your eyes before pushing yourself onto your toes to kiss him. “Plus, I can’t afford to be horny during work.�� 

His hands grabbed your hips when you went to walk away, hoisting you up onto the counter and slipping between your legs. “I’ll call off work if you do, lovebug. We can both get what we want and then we’ll spend the rest of the day together.” 

You hummed softly, your arms draping over his shoulders and your head tilted to the side. “I’ve got an important meeting today…” He pouted once again and you quickly continued. “But, if you’re home within an hour after me… we can both have some fun, and then I’ll call off tomorrow and we can continue in the morning.” 

You were quickly pulled off the counter, and a swift smack on your ass had you jumping forward out of the bathroom. “Go, go to work! I gotta get ready. I’m gonna come home so fast today.” He said, excitement evident in his tone and you couldn’t help but laugh hysterically. 

“You’ll be coming fast too…” You teased, and his mouth fell open in shock.

 “I am not a one pump chump! Give me credit! I could at least last three pumps!”

Lee Minho 

“Thought you’d start the movie without me…” You muttered as you walked through the front door, dropping your purse to the floor and kicking your shoes off before trudging over to the couch and falling back onto it, tilting until your head landed against his lap. “Sorry I took so long. They kept me over to do paperwork.” 

Minho tsked his tongue, his fingers gently caressing your cheeks and moving down to your chin before moving back up to your nose and lightly tapping it, earning himself a tired smile from you. “It’s not movie night without you, darling.” He murmured, leaning over to press a kiss to your lips. “They make you work too hard. Just quit. You know I’d take care of you, and I’d be happy to come home and see you.” 

“Mm, as wonderful as that sounds… I don’t want to be labeled a gold digger.” You combatted the wonderful idea that was continually festering in his brain. “I like being able to pay my own bills, I don’t want to be dependent.” 

His bottom lip jutted out and you playfully swiped your finger down across it, and he tried to hold back his laughter, but the sharp exhale that shot through his nose had him failing in his attempt. “But I want you to depend on me. What are you gonna do when we’re married? Huh? Still gonna work? Not on my watch! Mmn mmn, you’re gonna be comfy here at the house, sleeping in, living like the queen that you are. Mm hmm.” 

You blinked a few times before narrowing your eyes at him. “Are you okay? Is your head okay?” 

“Oh yeah.” He said quite abruptly, a wide smile spreading across his face before his head fell against the back cushion. “Just thinking about marrying you now. Let’s do that soon, okay?”

Seo Changbin 

“Count me off, bunny. Gonna do 20 reps!” Changbin said, letting out a little grunt as he laid back onto the bench, sliding up underneath the bar and rubbing his hands together before lowering it to his chest. 

“1!” 

“You look so hot in your yoga pants!” He said loudly as he brought the bar down and back up. The sudden proclamation had you gasping and looking around to see if anyone had heard him. 

“Bin!” You hissed, feeling your body burn up, both embarrassed and flustered by his words. 

“You stopped counting! You gotta keep counting!” He grunted loudly, still holding the bar up, his arms shaking as they strained to keep the weights in the air. 

“2!” 

“I love you so much!” He announced again, repeating the same motions as before. At least this one wasn’t as preposterous and embarrassing as the first. Maybe he just needed to let you know that he thought that… Although you wished he would have saved the thought for somewhere more private. 

You continued counting, and after a while, the words turned into grunts and heavy breaths, his face turning red, and you started to get worried, stepping forward to try to stop him. 

“I’m fine! Keep counting!” He practically shouted, his voice cracking as he lifted the bar again and you sighed loudly, backing to the spot where you had been before. 

“18!” You said, quieter now as you were more focused on the way his entire body seemed to be shaking. 

“Gonna get so strong so I can pin you against the wall when we get back home! I’m gonna f-“ You squealed loudly, rushing over to him and placing your hand over his mouth. It was almost like he was expecting it, the bar already set back on the hook and his arm snaking around your waist to pull you down on top of him. “What’s the matter, baby?” 

“You’re so embarrassing sometimes…” You groaned, lowering your head. “And you’ve got… Binnie you’ve got a boner now.” He smirked playfully, pushing your ass down on the growing bulge in his sweatpants, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “Bin~~” You whined, but you couldn’t deny how attractive he looked, covered in sweat, his veins bulging out against his muscles. 

“I’m not gonna last. Let’s go home… Gonna put these muscles to good use!” 

Hwang Hyunjin 

“Sweetie?” Hyunjins voice broke through the barrier between the world of dreams and the real world, causing you to stir before pulling the blankets up higher and rolling over with a tired sigh. “Can I paint you? You look so beautiful and the lighting is perfect.” 

He kneeled on the edge of the bed and you rolled back over, staring straight up at him, groggy and disoriented as your eyes adjusted to the bright sun that shone through the windows. “I look so bad, Hyunnie…” You mumbled, your voice muffled by the pillow. “How about we just lay back down and go to sleep.” 

Hyunjin whined dramatically, throwing himself over your body as he nuzzled against your neck. “But I’m not tired now! I want to paint!” He whined against your skin, and even if you wanted to go back to bed, you knew he wouldn’t let you, not until he got to paint you. It’s not like either of you had anything to do today, you simply wanted to sleep in. 

“Can I brush my hair at least?” You grumbled, and he quickly jumped up. When you rolled over though, you could see he was shaking his head as he took a few uncoordinated steps around the room, trying to find the perfect spot with the perfect view to paint you from. “Hyunjin…” 

“No brushing hair, you look so beautiful right now. You’re so… you, and I love you because you’re you, especially when you’re the you right now. I love you.” To your tired mind, his words didn’t make any sense, but you held onto those three words that he repeated twice, pushing yourself up and wiping the sleep from your eyes. He let out a gasp, waddling over to the bed and cupping your cheeks before pressing a wet kiss to your lips. “How are you so gorgeous?! And your morning breath… it isn’t even that bad!” 

“Hyunjin!” You whined just as loud as him, causing him to chuckle as you fell back onto the bed, your hair sprawling out on the pillow around you and your arms strewn in both directions. 

“Stay like that, sweetie! It’s the perfect pose! You’re perfect!”

Han Jisung

“Babydoll…” Ji whispered over the phone. He had called you over five times, and after the sixth non stop vibration in your pocket, you had asked your manager if you could step out to take the call. 

“What’s the matter, baby? What happened?” Of course you were panicking, who wouldn’t be when their fiance had called them that many times in a row? There had to be something wrong for him to call that many times when he knew you were at work. 

A sheepish sigh and then a clearing of his throat had you calming down just enough to become slightly annoyed now. “I miss you so much, babydoll…” His voice was still low, and then there was silence before a small whimper and the rustling of fabric. “Can I come see you? Please?” 

You looked around, making sure none of your coworkers were around before answering. “Han Jisung.” He gasped at the use of his government name, and damn him for being so cute, you immediately softened up. “Do not tell me that you called me six times in a row, made me step away from my job, and made me panic… just because you’re horny.”

The sound of his gulping was loud in comparison to his constant whispers. “What would you do if I said yes?” He asked so innocently, you’d think he was simply asking to come up to work to see you. But no, he wanted more than that, and maybe it was partially your fault for feeding his imagination one night, telling him how fun it would be to have a quickie in the bathroom at your work. You didn’t think he’d actually want to though. “I’ll go fast, I’ll go so fast… Baby pleaaase! My hand isn’t working! I need you~~.” 

You groaned loudly, but you couldn’t deny that you were getting turned on by the thought of him taking you in such a public place. You never knew you were into exhibitionism until now, but the thought was so exciting. You also couldn’t bring yourself to say no to him. It was just so hard. “Fine. I go on break in 10 minutes. You better be here.” 

“I already started walking.” He admitted and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes as a smile formed on your face. “I’ll be there in 5 minutes! Thank you so much, baby! I love you!” He exclaimed, and sure, he might be a little quirky, but he was so loving, and so adorable, and best of all, he was yours. 

Lee Felix 

“Soup?” He questioned, walking into your shared bedroom with a large wooden tray, a bowl with steam billowing from the top. Even though your nose was clogged, you could still smell the broth with just the right amount of spices in it to help clear you up. “How are you feeling now, angel?” 

“Still bad…” You said weakly, trying to prop yourself up on your pillows enough for Felix to set the tray down on your lap. “You’re sure you won’t get in trouble for staying here? I don’t want the guys to get mad and I don’t want you to get sick.” Your voice was raspy from your throat being so sore, but he simply smiled, setting the tray down and carefully sitting on the edge of the bed before pressing the back of his hand to your forehead to check your temperature. 

“Well if I get sick, you’ll have to call off to take care of me, so I think it’s a win win. We get to spend more time together.” He was so optimistic, every word that came out of his mouth never failed to make your heart swell. “When you’re done eating, we can cuddle and watch a movie together. Make sure to get really close to me too, and if you want to give me kisses, I won’t stop you.” 

You snorted softly, stirring the soup and watching the little spice specks swirl around the top. “It’s like you’re trying to get sick or something…” You mused, scooping a bit of the broth up and slurping it from the spoon. “Maybe we can share the soup.” 

“What a wonderful idea!” He chimed, grabbing the spoon from your hand and bringing it up to his lips, placing the whole thing in his mouth and cleaning it off. You watched with wide eyes and an open mouth, but your reaction only had him chuckling. “I don’t get to spend enough time with you, angel. If I have to catch what seems to be the world's worst cold just to do that, then that’s exactly what I’ll do.” 

“You’re crazy…” You murmured, snatching the spoon back and getting more for yourself. It was the first time your throat felt slightly better in days, and you didn’t know if it was because the soup was actually helping or if it was just so spicy it had numbed the back of it. “You’re gonna feel like shit, and what if you get sick before I get better, hmm?” 

“Then we’ll both be super whiny and bed ridden, and Chan hyung will have to take care of us.” Felix stated proudly, and while you loved Chan like an older brother, you saw how he was with the guys, how much he cared, and you weren’t sure if you’d be able to handle that much care from anyone but Felix. “Or we can just cuddle and hope that cold medicine can get us through. As long as I get to spend my days with you, I’ll be happy.” 

Kim Seungmin

The shower was running, relaxing every muscle in your body that felt so tense and sore after work, you could almost fall asleep just standing under the stream. The steam that filled the bathroom opened your lungs and surrounded your body, it was the most relaxed you had been in a while after countless hours of working overtime and extra days. 

“Gotta go to the bathroom.” Seungmins voice broke you out of your trance, and while the two of you had been together for years, you had seen each other completely naked, he had even held your hair back for you when you had come down with a really bad stomach virus. You were close, closer than most couples would be, but you loved that aspect of your relationship. Everything just felt so natural. 

This though… This had never happened, and for some reason you felt too naked. “Seungmin!” You squealed, and he pulled open the curtain a little bit, a tired smile on his face after just waking up from a nap. “What!? No! Don’t look at me!” You tried to pull the curtain around yourself, but he tilted his head further, his eyes trailing over your body as he licked his lips. 

“Can I get in with you?” He asked, and you were taken aback by the sudden question. You had never showered together, and while it would be no different from him being with you in bed, for some reason this just feels more personal. “To save water, obviously. Plus, you’ll have the hot water gone by the time you’re done.” 

“Well… I…” You stammered, but he was already stripping out of his clothes and climbing in behind you. “Minnie…” You whispered, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to hide your body from him. “I’ll… I’ll just finish washing my hair and get out…” 

“Mm… No, I’ll help.” He said, sleep still lacing his voice as he stepped closer to you, his body pressed flush against your back and his arms wrapped around you. “We never get to be close like this… I’ve missed you.” He whispered, his breath felt cold against your overheated skin, sending shivers down your spine. 

“I know what you’re trying to do, Minnie…” You sighed, although your body still fell against his. “I’m just so tired.” A yawn emphasized your words, and his hold on you loosened before he started rinsing your hair out, humming a soft melody to himself as he did. 

“I might love sex… a lot, like a whole lot…” He murmured, rinsing the bubbles from his hands before helping with the conditioner next. “But I also love you, a whole lot more. I know you’re tired, that’s why I want to help you.” He finished massaging the conditioner into your hair and then lathered the body wash on your loofah before gently scrubbing your back. “I like being close to you, no matter what we’re doing. After this, I was really hoping we could order a pizza and cuddle and watch a movie. Do you want to?” 

Yang Jeongin

The front door flew open, and you whipped around to see your wonderful, adorable boyfriend standing there with a wide smile as he waved around two rectangular pieces of paper. “Guess what your super cool boyfriend just got!?” Your head tilted, urging him to go on. “Front row tickets to the TXT concert, baby! Let’s go!” 

“Mmm… Innie, honey, love of my life…” You started, walking over to him and carefully grabbing the tickets from his hand. “You want to go to a concert, a very public concert… As an idol… With your girlfriend that the world knows nothing about right now?” You weren’t trying to kill the mood, you hated to be the one to burst his bubble, especially when you knew he was trying to surprise you, but you also knew that the two of you needed to be careful. 

“We can wear disguises… matching disguises!” He quickly came up with the most Jeongin idea ever, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you shook your head. “I just know that you’ve been wanting to see them and I wanted you to think I’m the bestest boyfriend in the whole world.” He sighed, his bottom lip puffing out, and you felt so awful that you quickly wrapped your arms around him to try to make him feel better. 

“You are the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world. That’s why I don’t want the fans to find out like this… what if the company makes us break up? I couldn’t handle that.” His mouth fell open and his hug got tighter, as if the thought of you leaving him had him wanting to hold you closer. “Can’t you just ask Beomgyu for backstage tickets?” 

“No!” He said rather loudly, and your eyebrow arched questioningly as you craned your neck to look at him. “He… he doesn’t know we’re together. He thinks we’re just friends and every time I even mention you he goes on a 15 minute rant about how perfect and beautiful and wonderful you are and like… Obviously I already know that!” You snorted loudly and he let out a little whine. “It’s not funny! He’s trying to take you away from me!” 

“Mmm no… He doesn’t know that I’m yours, he’s just trying to get with me.” You explained, and he gave you a scowl. “He’s like, my ult bias. You think he’d sign my photocards?” 

“Hold up! I thought I was your ult bias!” He squealed, but when you started laughing, he quickly calmed down. “Not funny. My hair is better than his anyway and he… he doesn’t have muscles like I do. Right? I mean… can he do this?!” He lifted you up and your arms quickly wrapped around his shoulders and your legs around his waist. “You know all the fun things we could do when I got you like this, hmm?” 

You leaned in, kissing up his neck slowly, feeling his body shudder and a low moan building in his chest. “How about we skip the concert and you show me?” 

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[fauustic]

hi hi! i'm not very active on tumblr anymore but i came back for miguel o'hara and your snippets are what are keeping me alive at the very moment, is it alright if i request for some miguel fluff?

the prompt is that he tries really hard to keep his "touch-starvedness" unnoticeable but reader makes that very hard for him because even brushing shoulders and hands is enough to send him into cardiac arrest. it all goes to hell when reader gets genuinely concerned for him and twists into reader giving miguel the gentle touch he deserves :3

(( I loved this ask so much... I will definitely do a different concept with this idea to bring it more justice! thank you for your request, so wonderful nonetheless! ))

my requests are still open!! i didn't proofread this one so if there are any mistakes sorry!!

gender-nonconforming reader x miguel “spider-man 2099″ o’hara

fluff. miguel, so desperately touch-starved, yearns for any touch he can’t get. you unknowingly give it to him.

warnings: jealous and slightly violent miguel, perhaps slightly suggestive? MAINLY FLUFF THOUGH!! HE LOVES YOU SM!! anyhow he’s just a little silly and painfully in love with his co-worker ..

word count: 2852

A soft bump met your shoulders, tilting the vial you held ever so delicately with much more force than anticipated from the unexpected collision. The goggles resting upon your nose slanted from the impact as the burst of color within the flask splashed onto your lab coat. A frustrated groan erupted from your lips as a light chuckle sounded from right beside you. 

“Jeez– this isn’t funny Miguel!” You couldn’t help but whine while hurriedly cleaning up your lab station before anyone from a different department of Alchemax could see your slip-up. The vial that held a mysterious substance wasn’t anything to worry about, it was a prototype for a more ecologically efficient paint alternative to further the health of citizens amongst Nueva York– but the progress being wiped away over something as small as a little bump on the shoulder almost made you fall to your knees. 

Being hired as a rookie chemist to the most successful chemical corporation in existence had you sweating bullets over your every move– not even allowing yourself to step foot in the break room in fear that you’d have to reiterate what you have done during your time here. Which was much less accomplished than your assigned veteran lab partner, who always offered to help bring your concepts to fruition– but you declined with ease because you wanted to feel worthy to the department you were assigned.

This didn’t stop Miguel from coincidentally being a step behind your movements always, despite your insistence that you had everything under control.

It was nerve-wracking, feeling his gaze study you a bit too hard as you measured how clean a sample of underground Nueva York was in the dim light of a late night shift. He’d make quips, soft against your exhausted temple while Miguel would finish the rest of your unfinished goals. Drifting off into the embrace of sleep, your eyes would crack open ever so slightly as he examined your work with a level of admiration in his gaze you've never noticed fully awake– tinkering and fiddling with whatever environmentally-productive project you had going on that shift. The last recollection of the night would be the touch of Miguel’s knuckles grazing your shoulders, a jacket wrapping around your back like a blanket. The smell of praline alongside bergamot orange stuck to your body like a shadow as you slumped awake the following morning, rushing home to shower and get ready for the shift you had the upcoming afternoon.

Following the next day, Miguel had a subtle smile upon his features as you returned his jacket with a flustered expression he’s never seen from you. Excitement bubbled against his chest like a shaken-up soda as he observed the slight bow of your head in appreciation, hands atop his scarred grasp that held onto the jacket you returned. You never caught the deep breaths flooding his lungs as the two of you separated, his jacket held tightly against his hammering heart. “I, I need to go grab a coffee–” Miguel muttered underneath his breath, leaving before you could even acknowledge his dismissal. Confusion dazed your focus, remembering the last time you asked if he had wanted any coffee he mentioned he didn’t even like the caffeinated drink in the first place. Told you it made his insomnia worse.

The both of you had grown closer ever since that experience as surprising as it was, due to his cocky yet cold attitude usually clashing against your focus. If it wasn’t for his seriousness, the two of you would be bickering like partners forced to work on a group project in grade school. Which brought you back to the present, cleaning up the mess he had technically created due to bumping into you. A frown etched upon his face, stress lines from his hundreds of late shifts growing prominent at the tip of his lips. “I was doing something important– and you waltz in and just knock it all over?”

“‘Didn’t mean to, conejito.” Miguel replied in his usual matter-of-fact tone, waving off his actions like every other time he's accidentally skewed your focus. "But I'm more than willing to fix what I did if you just stop acting like a spooked animal." It rolled off his tongue like an insult, but you knew that's just how he spoke. Short and blunt, with little quips towards anyone who annoys him just briefly. Just like every other co-worker, despite the amount of time the two of you have spent together, you always would get a taste of his attitude before you snapped right back at him.

But today, you were tired and running off of pure coffee as the sun began to set. Bickering with Miguel was something you wanted to stray away from at the time being. So you caved, giving him a gesture to come closer to you. "You can't help if you are standing seven feet away from me, O'Hara." You told him the obvious, readjusting the goggles that sat atop your nose while you went over the variables involved with your test. 

For the first time in response to your sarcasm, Miguel was silent. Seconds ticked by as you grew more invested in resuming from where you left off, the little quarrel leaving your mind as soon as it came. You thought he'd ignore you and end up doing his own thing in your shared lab, but the distinct footfalls from his leather shoes moving closer after the rare quietness proved you wrong.

Miguel slid up right beside your hunched stance, close enough that the warmth from his arms met your wrists but not close enough where his rolled-up sleeves would collide against the fabric fitted against your arms.

You stood there, measuring the exact precise measurements from before with the several natural ingredients surrounding the both of you. And Miguel just watched, at least that's what you assumed, because that burning gaze of his seeped into the back of your head and sizzled against your fingertips working painstakingly slow mixing and working against the organic compounds. Nervousness prickled your skin, goosebumps following in its wake.

Due to your posture, when you snapped your attention to him you couldn't help but look up. Miguel's features were soft, an expression that you've never seen on him meeting your eyes. He was looking down at you, breathing in sleepily while subsciously leaning his body into your space. The unusual mannerism caught your attention with haste, and you were about to question if he was feeling okay before he perked up like he got shocked.

His gaze was distant until he realized you were looking straight at him– immediately looking off towards the vials you had splayed in front of you like he was caught doing something wrong. You couldn't help but frown while you watched Miguel exhale deeply, his index and thumb meeting the bridge of his nose in a habit you've noticed throughout your time here. Miguel was stressed. 

"Hey, it's okay that you messed up." The forgiveness falling from your lips only made him curl into himself more. Worry clouded your mind at seeing him so worked up, something you were so unfamiliar with. Usually, Miguel expressed himself in abrupt irritation that you always tried to help him through– the silent loathing almost made you ask him to go home out of concern. "Mistakes happen in the lab, Miguel. Please don't beat yourself up.

Soft graze meeting his shoulder, his body tensed up at the unexpected attempt of your's that was made to comfort him. The both of you danced around each other at best, the most contact from one another would be leading his movements with your own hold onto his hands while instructing assistance. Miguel's mouth fell agape, his unusually sharp canines he kept away was brought to your attention from the dim light highlighting his features. A gasp followed as your hand met his cheek while aiming for his forehead, which he tried to cover up with a cough. 

"What are you doing–" He hissed out in a mess as the heat blooming from his cheeks set your own touch aflame. You hushed him, which he obliged without a word. Strange, you thought to yourself again. He never acts like this towards anyone, let alone get this close to another chemist within the building of Alchemax.

Palm brushing against the strands of hair blessing his forehead, you checked his temperature while his eyes fluttered close. "I'm checking your temperature, Miguel." You murmured against his jaw, boosting your height on your tiptoes in order to reach his forehead. "You've been off today, it's concerning." 

"I'm fine," He muttered into the space between you, beginning to distance himself from your touch until your free hand met his other shoulder. It was as if a weight held him into place, grounding him within your touch as he shakily dug his fingers into his black dress-pants. You hadn't noticed the subtle slices into his thighs from his claws. Miguel's resolve was failing terribly.

His breath, quick and shallow, met the skin of your ear. It tickled. Hot air crashed into your contrasting cold flesh, digging into your nerves like boiling water.

Once your skin met his temple, he pushed against your touch like you were the only thing keeping himself afloat. His grasp met your elbow while the other relied on the counter for support. "Just feeling a bit under the weather." Miguel managed to mumble, brow furrowing as if he was in pain– never once did you catch the reddened hue painting his face and flustered glint in his eye.

"I've been telling you to stop overworking yourself," you scold him softly, shaking his grasp on your elbow just to take his hands into yours. "How much sleep have you gotten recently?" The question makes him cringe, the dark circles around his eyes as prominent as ever.

"Not enough." He admitted.

"You know that's not good for you." You reminded him with a frown. Warmth blossomed in your chest as his skin, warm and marred from his work with all sorts of scientific junk, caressed your knuckles with his thumb. He had calmed down as time ticked by, a sleepiness that clung onto him as darkness painted the canvas beyond the window of your floor. A huff of air escaped his lips as he rested his cheek against the cool of the lab table, safely distanced from what you were working on. Miguel’s hand didn’t dare move from your grasp, and you didn’t think about moving either. Miguel was slowly becoming a good friend of your’s, if something so small as a little comfort was needed you were more than willing to help.

“Yeah, yeah.” Was all he said. Silence dawned over the both of you as you resumed back to fixing up his mistakes. The dim light filled words left unsaid with a soft ambience, vials clinging against each other gently while liquids poured into one another. The night ended with you successfully conjuring up an ecological alternative to whatever paint Nueva had used before, which will certainly be good on your reports– and Miguel ended up getting the rest he needed.

You had pulled up a chair for him long ago, and he took it without a word. Slumped against your lab station, each time you’d try to pull away from him he’d mumble out a little, “no, please– stay here.” with his eyes still fluttered shut. He didn’t drool or snore, in fact it was a bit concerning how quiet he was as slumber took him. Almost like a vampire in his coffin, the idea of Miguel dressing up as Dracula made you stifle a laugh against the back of your free hand. Maybe you’d have to convince him to dress up for the next corporate Halloween event, as silly as it would be.

Miguel’s brow furrowed ever so slightly, mumbling out incoherency as your hand anchored him to this world. The light reminder of success infiltrated your senses as the smell of beeswax and linseed oil– honey and lemon. You’d already be on your way back home if Miguel didn't have his fingers intertwined with yours, murmuring things you’d never imagine him to say. It made your stomach churn, a wobbly smile meeting your lips as you laughed off his sleepy nonsense.

The fun ended too quickly it felt, as he suddenly stretched and groaned– his hand pulling you a little with him. The weight on him snapped him awake, senses kicking into overdrive to clear his confusion. Once he realized he was in the safety of the lab he shared with you, Miguel visibly relaxed. When his gaze met your interlocked fingers, he almost fell out of his chair.

Miguel whispers out your name in an embarrassed mess, wrapping his free hand around his mouth in an attempt to calm himself down. But you merely hummed an automatic response, and he couldn’t help but shake the thoughts clouding his consciousness. You were affecting him in a way that almost left him frozen, emotions that felt close to a high rushed into his brain and messed with any rationality he was able to clutch. Miguel’s claws he kept at bay threatened to unsheathe into your knuckles as warmth painted his features into an unbearable heat.

By the time he had fully woken up, you were dozing off yourself. 

Elbow propped against the counter while your head rested on your hand, drool etched the side of your lips as the world of dreams scooped you up and cradled you lovingly. You were blissfully aware of the carnal gaze of your lab partner, soaking in your soft, resting expression like a full-course meal. His heart ached painfully at a small snore that escaped his lips.

When it came to you, it’s almost as if he had a bad case of cute aggression on top of the painful crush that held him in a chokehold.

Every brush of your shoulder meeting his own short circuited his every thought, shocking his cold attitude into a soft spot for you. Every graze upon his hands, with that mouth of yours snapping at him with a certain playfulness, had him melting against you like putty. And here you were, spending the night with him in the stiff chairs of the lab simply because he had told you to in his exhausted stupor. 

Miguel almost hyperventilated at how nice you were to him, grasp tightening on your hand every so slightly. He wanted all of you, he realized, as his lips came into contact with your knuckles. 

Were you as sweet as always with the others in your shared department? Did you give them a piece of your mind, but then turned around with open arms and a hug when something went right? Did you share your secrets in the comfort of being busy, finding companionship with the one helping you who wasn’t him?

Miguel kissed your finger-tips as a soft gasp escaped your drooling lips, breathing in your scent like it was keeping him from unravelling altogether. The thoughts of someone else so close to you made his skin crawl and the urge to dig his claws within flesh. An insistent voice growled in the back of his head, “protect, closer, closer, need.”

It was his voice, snarling like a devil on his shoulder whenever he was clouded with your embrace. He craved your touch like it was a necessity to live, as important to breathe. His fangs trailed your wrist and your hold tightened onto his own hard instinctively. A pleased hum rolled off his tongue, you were just like a bunny caught into a trap. Prey at his mercy.

But he pulled away before he was too into his own head and did something he shouldn’t. Miguel wanted to see your nervous, wide-eyes gaze for himself when he offered to kiss you– or practically begged you to when the time came. In no way would he allow himself to take away a moment so special between the two of you.

So Miguel swiped away the drool dripping down your chin, bringing his thumb that delicately grazed your face onto his tongue and tasted your spit for himself. It was sweet, like you had just finished chewing down a piece of pink bubblegum hours ago– and that knowledge alone almost sent him off the edge of any human thought he had left.

So he collected himself, soothing out his lab coat before bringing a palm against his hair to smooth it back out. With a light smile and a deep breath, he invaded your space with a gentleness that rivalled a melodious tune.

Shaking you awake, Miguel brought his claws to your hair and raked through the curls. The action took you both by surprise, by you couldn’t help but purr a sleepy “hello, silly,” at the sight of waking up to his sleep-ridden self. He only chuckled, a red painting his ears that you couldn’t see.

“Hello to you too, mi corazón. I’ll help you get home.”

[just-some-little-lads]

My Love, Like Winter, is Eternal

Summary: You find you can't sleep, and your partner resting right next to you listens to your late-night thoughts.

Word Count: 1.3k

Tags: SFW, Fluff, Second Person POV, gn! reader.

It’s easy to forget what lies beneath a frost. When the world is coated in so much snow, one might lose memory of the blooms in spring. Most people think of winter as this harsh and cruel season. It often comes hand-in-hand with negative metaphors like death or apathy or the end of any good thing. There was a time when you thought much the same. Now…you can’t help but almost feel bad for winter- for snow. There’s so much warmth there that goes unnoticed.

Poetic thoughts like these came easy to you in the early hours of the morning. Especially during nights where you couldn’t sleep. Maybe that’s why you found yourself finding feeling sad for an environmental passage of time of all things. Well…you had to give yourself some slack. There was a reason why snow had such a loving space in your heart; why you found yourself telling your coworkers who dared complain about the cold all the wonderful things you could do in the snow. Even after all the odd glances you got most times. A noble task, you would tell yourself. One might call you a…polar protector? A Snow Spokesperson! A Blizzard Bodyguard! A—

A large hand covered your face, cutting you free from your thoughts. After successfully catching your attention, the hand moved back to the body it belonged to. “You’re thinking too loudly…” Voice low, tone slightly slurred with half-consciousness, Zayne brought a thumb and forefinger up to rub at bleary eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose.

You felt a bit guilty for waking him up, knowing he’d be heading back to the hospital in a few hours. “You can read my thoughts?”

A huff of a single chuckle escaped him as he turned on his side towards you. As he spoke, his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you toward him. “I think I have a few years to go before I can read your thoughts, but I can read your body language. Tossing and turning, fidgeting hands, rapid breaths. Symptoms of someone far too awake. What’s keeping you up?” A note of concern seeped into his tone. He kept you close while fixing and straightening some wild strands of your bed-hair. Based off his smile, you could tell you looked a bit more on the disheveled side. Something he was all too happy to fix. Meanwhile, he still looked as refined as ever. Gorgeous, like a statue chiseled from ice plucked from heavenly mountain-tops. Or perhaps that was just the rose-colored glasses talking. You found yourself still falling head-over-heels for him, and crushing like you hadn’t been together for a while. “Hey…” Zayne’s smile faded, his hand moving from your hip to your cheek. Apparently, he’d taken you staring at him in silence as some sort of hesitation. “Talk to me. Is something wrong?”

Well, now you felt a bit sheepish. Zayne was probably thinking you were plagued by some kind of stress. “Just thinking…about snow.”

“Snow?” he asked, incredulous that something so simple was keeping you awake, almost looking more worried. “Don’t tell me you’re making winter plans already?”

“Not really…”

The mattress shifted as he propped his head up on his elbow and sighed. His forefinger began to trace the outline of your face. “Penny for your thoughts? I won’t be able to sleep if you continue being so cryptic.”

You groaned a bit, not able to handle the thought of him getting no rest just because of your silly mind. “I’m just thinking about how sad it is that the cold gets such a bad rap.” As you explained that, you noticed how his face contorted into a mixed expression of confusion and amusement. You gave him time to speak, ready to hear him laugh or tell you to put you and your crazy mind to bed. Nothing was said by him, seemingly waiting to hear your intense thoughts at three in the morning. “It’s always talked about like some heartless, lifeless thing, but it’s not! Ice cream is cold and it’s one of my favorite things! In winter, you can wear cute coats and scarves, warm up with hot chocolate, and snuggle up by the fire. Plus, snow is so pretty. When it falls…it’s so comforting. I just… I wish people saw all the good in it that I do.” You glanced up at him, still waiting for him to roll his eyes.

Instead, he only looked at you softly- lovingly. With a little tug, he pulled you closer, lying back down while tucking your head under his chin. “I see. So, you think winter is sad that so many people dislike it?” He adjusted the blanket around you both, making sure your heads were comfortably on the pillows.

For some reason, you felt like crying. Maybe it was just because you were sleep deprived. Or perhaps it was because you tended to forget how safe of a space Zayne was. He’d joke with you, follow along with the bits you came up with, even listen to whatever you had to say running on four hours of sleep like he’d also gotten a degree in therapy. “I bet it gets lonelier than the other seasons…”

“Hm.” He closed his eyes, and for a moment you thought he’d fallen back asleep. When he spoke again, his voice lowered, his face nuzzling your head ever so slightly. “I think…that the snow is content enough being loved by you.” Zayne’s body was warm. Perfectly so. His hand ran up and down your back in slow hypnotizing rubs.

“I’m just one person in a world with millions of people… It deserves more than just me.” You were starting to feel drowsy now, eyelids going heavy at a rapid pace. A little moan rumbled in your throat as you shifted about to get comfortable, turning on your other side so Zayne was curled against your back. His presence was like a soothing blanket, your body enveloped and protected from things that might do you harm. Ever your valiant healer even outside of battle.

A kiss pressed into the back of your shoulder as you slotted yourself against him, fitting like a perfect puzzle piece. “I don’t think it’s greedy,” he whispered softly. “It sees the way you rush outside to greet it when it’s snowing, even if you’re not wearing something warm. It’s happy to take on the role of being cold so your hot chocolate tastes that much better, feeling the heat run down your throat��into your stomach…sinking down into your toes.” The way he was speaking was slow and purposefully melodic, like the narration of those resting meditation videos. He was trying to put you to sleep. Zayne took a deep breath, like he was minutes away from falling asleep himself, forcing himself to stay awake until he knew you were at peace. “It’s glad to make the world quieter so you can find yourself drifting off much easier.” He kissed the back of your head, resting his face against your body with a large exhale.

For a moment, you listened to the soft sounds of his breathing, staring at the subtle rays of moonlight seeping through past the curtains. All the strange anxiety that had kept you up melted away. You had to admit to yourself that you weren’t quite worried about the winter at all. But you weren’t sure where the doubt came from. Here he was, making you feel loved like you never had before. “You think so?”

“I know so. The winter will…always be there for you. Forever.” A small waver of emotion filled his voice.

“And my love, like winter, will be eternal for you…”

With one last squeeze, he laughs. “Oh? And here I was thinking we were talking about snow, but I’m flattered.” Words laced with mirth, he tried to pass off that he wasn’t aware of the true meaning behind your worries the whole time. You jabbed him a bit in the ribs with your elbow. In return, he used his Evol to press an icy cold hand against your back.

In the end, you both ended up not getting much sleep at all anyway, but neither of you cared in the slightest.

[cllightning81]

Roommates [MS47]

Summary: Your roommates are on holiday so you invite your boyfriend around to have a staycation with him. Except your roommates come home early and find you

Pairing/s: Mick Schumacher x Reader, Reader x OC

A/N : Roommates names are made up from a random name generator. It felt wrong just calling them 'roommates'

Word Count: 1k

Masterlist

Mick Schumacher Masterlist

Tag List

Coming Soon

Your roommates had said that they wouldn’t be home until tomorrow morning so you thought that you had at least an extra night with Mick before he left in the early hours of the morning so your roommates wouldn’t see him. 

You and Mick had been dating since well before you started university, but you’d never told anyone that information. In your first year of university, it had just been you and your now best friend in a dorm room, but she suggested that you find an apartment with another two roommates, and that's what you did. 

You hadn’t expected all three of your roommates to be Formula One fans, which made watching the races easier but telling them about Mick harder, which made sneaking around more of your thing. 

So when they asked if you wanted to go on holiday with them during the break of the university schedule you were quick to say no knowing that if they weren’t about and it wasn’t a race weekend then you could invite your boyfriend over.

“When are they coming back again?” Mick asked

“About eight. I think Lucy said” You shrugged, and he nodded 

“Gina was asking what time I’d be leaving so we could meet for lunch” You nodded, cuddling further into him

“Sure you don’t want to join us?” He asked, resting his cheek against your head as you watched the show on the TV. 

“Can I decide in the morning before you leave?” You asked, and he nodded 

“Of course you can, Liebe” (Love). He smiled gently, playing with your hair that was resting over your shoulder. You smiled, not paying much attention to the show, just enjoying the last couple hours that you had with your boyfriend. 

Both started to fall asleep in each other's embrace as there was giggling heard from outside the door. Although you didn’t think much of it and just closed your eyes again. You just assumed that it was your neighbours because they were always loud and giggling. 

Just as you fell into a sleep, you started to hear hushed whispers from behind you, and Mick wrapped you tighter into his arms as you woke up. Rubbing your eyes as you looked around the room. Your three roommates standing in front of you with wide eyes and jaws dropped. 

You panicked, looking at the time, eyes glancing back between the clock on the wall and your roommates, except you couldn’t move to get up due to Mick’s tight hold.

“You’re early” you mumbled, attempting to sit up a little or even just move out of Mick’s hold, but you woke him up, and he pulled you closer, not quite understanding 

“We’re early home but obviously not early to this” your best friend pointed out, and you just smiled as Mick soon caught up with what was happening. 

“Was zum Teufel?” (What the hell?) He mumbled, letting go and sitting up after helping you sit up

“These idiots don’t know what time management is. I was enjoying my sleep” You huffed as Mick rubbed your back softly 

“What the hell Y/N” Your roommates exclaimed one after the other, all agreeing with each other. 

“It’s too early. Können wir alle ruhig sein und mich mein Nickerchen genießen lassen?” (Can we all be quiet and let me enjoy my nap?) You asked as all your roommates just kept staring at you. 

“One, it's not too early. Two, what the hell is this? Three, do you know who’s sat next to you? Four, how long? Five, can I get an autograph?” Your roommate Callie asked 

“One, it is too early. Two, I was having a nap. Three, I do know who’s sat next to me, obviously. Four, six years?” You asked, turning to look at Mick to make sure. Mick nodded 

“Five, you’re not getting an autograph” you finished. 

“I can’t believe this. This is crazy” your other roommate Lilian replied, rubbing her face as Ana looked about the place 

“Can someone please pinch me” Ana mumbled, so you happily threw a pillow at her, which hit her in the head. 

“Anyone else want a pillow at the head?” You asked, standing up 

“Anyway, can we talk about six years?” Callie exclaimed as you and Mick both shrugged. You leaned back into him, really just wanting your eyes to stay awake, although your body was fighting you for sleep. 

“Look, I wanted to tell you Ana but then I figured out you were a fan, then we moved in with Lilian and Callie then I really didn’t know how to tell any of you because you were all fans so it was just easier to shut up about it and sneak about” You shrugged explaining your story as Mick wrapped his arm around you and gently caressed your arm and shoulder. 

“You owe us grand prix tickets” Callie mumbled, and you threw a pillow at her as well. 

“If anyone else makes one more comment. I’m kicking you out. All of you. One comment means no home. Now, can I go back to sleep? And enjoy my last night with my boyfriend?” You asked as they all nodded slowly, retreating to their own rooms as you turned to look at Mick. 

“Well that’s out in the open now Liebe” He whispered, you nodded with a slight smile 

“You also didn’t tell me that you were working on your German. Got quite the shock when you started speaking German. Es war heiß” (It was hot). He mumbled, pressing his lips against yours as you smiled into the kiss 

“It was meant to be a surprise for your birthday, but I didn’t want to say that in a language they would understand” You shrugged as he smiled, pulling you onto his lap. You smiled, placing your hands between his jaw and neck as you tilted your head a little 

“That’s why I didn’t want to tell them, but it’s out in the open now, so you can hang out here more when you’re not racing” You smiled 

“Or you could move in with me? I’ve been wanting to ask you for ages, and this just feels like the right time to ask” You smiled leaning down and kissing him

“Of course I’ll move in with you. Maybe just once I’ve finished this year at uni though” You smiled, and he nodded 

“That sounds like a good plan”

Tag List

@lozzamen3

@barcelonaloverf1life

@hiireadstuff

@mxdi0

@ahgase99

@talksoprettyjjx

@bearyyyy

@zabwlky1999

@callsignwidow

@Chocolatepoetryfun

@lwstuff

@destiny237

[house-of-lovin]

love language

Tara Carpenter x F!Reader

masterlist | over (1) | safety net (3)

Summary: Tara Carpenter loves to play games with you. (inspired by love language by SZA)

Warnings: sexual themes implied, mature language. toxic!tara, jealous!tara.

Note: this was originally going to be a two-parter, but I wanted to keep writing about this dynamic. So I made it into three parts! Sorry for the long wait, I've been deathly ill the last few days, so it's been hard to do anything but sleep :/ but the last part will be posted tomorrow! (idk how i feel abt this but i tried my best lol)

Word Count: 3.7k+

Tara: ‘Last night was fun ;) but had to run!’

At least she had the decency to leave you a text as she left you to wake up in your bed, alone.

Sighing, you sit up; cracks and pops reverberate through the empty room as you stretch your stiff muscles. You run a tired hand on your face and glance at the spot beside you where Tara was just hours ago. 

You should have known she would leave.

You weren’t sure if she even bothered to stay after you had passed from exhaustion after the fourth round. Tara rarely stayed over, her sister’s overprotectiveness made the occasion scarce. Coupled with the fact that the smaller girl thought it crossed boundaries to stay the night. So, the only time she had ever slept was when you fucked her senselessly she physically couldn’t make it home. 

“Morning!” A loud voice interrupts the quietness in your dorm. “I bought the three of us some coffee. By the way, I didn’t appreciate coming home to you and Tara naked. You do you, but at least send a text – or hang a sock on the door… where’d Tara go?”

“Left…” You flush embarrassed, grabbing the shirt on your headboard to slip on, and stepping off your bed. Shivers run through your bare feet as you step on the cold floor. 

“Oh…”

“Yeah… Oh.” You replied bitterly, moving to gather some clothes to start your day; even if it started off on the wrong foot already. 

“...How does that make you feel?” She says after a few moments of silence.

“You’re not gonna therapize me right now, Minds.” You laugh, trying to avoid her probing tone. “It’s too early and I’m nearly naked.”

“You’re really gonna stand there and tell me it doesn’t bother you how she’s acting?” She crosses her arms, fed up with you and her childhood friend’s immature antics. 

“Why would it bother me?” You say as evenly as you can. “We’re just hooking up.”

She scoffs, “Yeah right, Chad told me what happened at the coffee shop last night.”

You roll your eyes, “Of course, he did.”

“Point is… she’s playing games with you and you say that you’re fine with it because you're just hooking up but I can tell it bothers you, Y/N."

You stand rigid, unmoving and slightly uncomfortable. Talking about your feelings has never been your strong suit, maybe that’s why you fell so easily into this routine with Tara. It was all physical and lust-driven; no words have to be uttered when you two are tangled in each other’s sheets. But maybe, somewhere along the way lines began to blur the longer you got to know the Carpenter. The more your lives began to intertwine the harder it became to separate feelings during sex.

It grows increasingly difficult to ignore that thought, when she acts affectionately toward you around your friends. During movie nights, she’d scare off anyone else who dared to sit beside you; sharing a blanket and linking your fingers underneath. And in the classes you had together, she always made sure to save a seat for you beside her, leaning into you as close as she can.

“I promise… I’m fine. Tara can do whatever she wants.” You maintain eye contact with your roommate; trying to remain unbothered.

“I can’t deal with you two.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m just saying… you two have danced around each other long enough, maybe it's time you really talk to each other. Before someone gets hurt.”

You stay silent thinking over her words.

“Look... I really didn’t want to like you when I first moved here – getting stabbed makes people paranoid, you know.” She chuckles dryly. “But I guess the odds are finally in my favour 'cause I got a roommate I actually like… so figure your shit out because I’d like to keep hanging out together as a group please.”

You chuckle, breaking out of your trance. You send her a lopsided smile, appreciating her words. “I like being your roommate too, Minds.” 

“Gross, this is too much for me now… go take a shower, you reek of sex.” She purposefully avoids your eyes, turning to grab her now lukewarm coffee. 

You roll your eyes, laughing at Mindy's antics but grab some clothes anyway to start your day.

●●●

“So I just handed in my last assignment, which means it’s officially spring break for me… and everyone’s gonna be out tonight. Wanna come over?” Tara slides into your booth out of nowhere.

You flinch, slightly startled; dropping the pen you were using with a clang. You were currently in the common room on campus attempting to get some studying in before your final exam. “What?”

She rolls her eyes but smiles fondly at you. “I said, everyone’s out for the night. Come over… I miss you.” 

Your cheeks flush as your heart darts wildly in your chest at her words. “We were just together last night…”

“Yeah, but I had to leave so soon cause Sam was coming home early.” She pouted, moving closer to you to swing her leg over yours. 

You clear your throat, glancing down. “I still have to study for my exam tomorrow.” 

“Come over after you study then…” She places a hand on your inner thigh, swiping her thumb on the fabric of your pants.

“Tara…” You were trying your hardest to gather some sort of self-control but it was becoming increasingly difficult when she started leaving light kisses on your shoulder. “Tara there are other people around.”

You were lucky you had chosen a booth that was tucked in the corner of the room, facing away from possible wandering eyes. Even still, this was definitely not the time nor the place, no matter how much you wanted to give in. 

“Don’t care…” Her kisses on your clothed shoulder move upward toward your neck. You grab at her waist, trying to push her back. “Tara, seriously.”

She simply wraps her free arm around your shoulder, moving closer to you. “I’ll only stop if you promise to come over…” 

You feel her bite down on the bruise you tried to cover up with your hoodie; you wince. “Ow… okay, okay. I’ll come over, now stop before someone reports us for public indecency.”

She rolls her eyes, but smirks smugly, unwrapping herself from you. You’d be a liar if you said you didn’t immediately feel cold from the lack of contact. “You’re no fun… but I’ll see you tonight.”

The Carpenter doesn’t say anything else. Just slides out of the booth, gathers her things and walks away from you.

You drop your head against the headrest of the booth, heaving out a heavy sigh. You feel like the most pathetic person in the world for giving in so easily, especially since Mindy’s words kept ringing in your ears all morning.

Later that night, you found yourself standing in front of the Carpenter’s apartment, contemplating if it wasn’t too late to turn around and run away. This is a bad idea and you knew it. You should have padlocked yourself in your dorm and not left until the weekend was over. But Mindy had convinced you this was the best chance for you to finally talk to Tara.

So here you were rooted dumbly in front of her door. Unable to bring yourself to knock.

The door opening makes the decision for you. “I heard you stomping down the hall, were you not gonna to knock?”

She has a smirk planted across her lips as she leans against the doorframe. 

“Uh… I was just about to...”

You see her brow raise in amusement but doesn’t question your awkwardness; electing to pull you into her apartment with a tug on your wrist. “Come on… I have a movie on and popcorn waiting for us.”

You allow her to lead you through the apartment and then to the couch, pushing you to sit down. Upon sitting, you take a moment to scan the living room; taking note of the one light coming from the kitchen, casting darkness to the rest of the room. She has candles lit up on the coffee table across from you, with bowls of an assortment of snacks. 

This suddenly felt more… intimate. You felt a pang of guilt for thinking she had only invited you over as a booty call.

“Um… what is this?” You ask dumbly.

“What’s it look like? Movie night.” She chuckles before plopping down beside you and draping a blanket over your legs. You feel her move closer, pressing your thighs together. 

The two of you haven’t had a movie night since before you had fallen into this friends-with-benefits situation. They were actually the reason how you and Tara became closer in the early stages of your friendship. 

Two months ago, she had invited you over for a movie night under the guise of simply being bored, but when she had opened the door you saw the slight redness in her irises and the tear-stained marks on her cheeks. You said nothing and just allowed her to pull you inside. In your attempts to cheer her up, you may have made a trip to the liquor store around the corner and drank away your sorrows with the Carpenter. That was the first night you and Tara had ever slept together.

“Oh… I just thought–never mind. Movie night sounds nice.” You smile, appreciating her efforts. Maybe that talk can wait another time. You didn’t want to ruin the night when she was clearly trying.

“Good.” She returns your grin, settling in to lean against you as she entangles your legs. “No talking this is my favourite part.”

“The movie just started.”

“Hush.”

●●●

Thirty minutes must have passed when you felt a hand run up and down your thigh. Your eyes snap away from the TV, looking down atop Tara’s head as she leans on your chest. You couldn’t see her face from this angle but you can tell she was enjoying how you tensed in her touch.

You ignore the movements, turning back to face the screen. But Tara doesn’t seem satisfied as she tilts her head up. The feeling of her soft lips brushing against your neck makes you stiffen even more in her hold. And like earlier, she begins to leave a litter of light pecks on your still-bruised neck. 

“Tara…”

She hums, scooting up to reach your jaw. Her fingers tickle your sides as she slips her fingers under your shirt to grab your waist, shuffling to sit on your lap. Tara kisses that spot just under your ear that always makes you cave – marking you. She has you now and she knew it. 

A part of you wants to bang your head against the wall because of course this movie night would eventually lead to sex. It always leads to sex with Tara. It was like a vicious cycle you couldn’t get off of. But the way she touches you feels so heavenly that you couldn’t even think clearly enough to stop her.

“Take this off…” She mutters, bunching up your shirt in a fist as she pushes it up. You pull back to obey her request, hastily yanking the fabric off your head and connecting your mouths in a harsh kiss. You slip your hand under her shirt, tracing your fingers dangerously close to the waistband of her shorts. She whines under the cold touch. 

“No teasing…” She whispers before grabbing at your cheeks to pull you impossibly closer; the feeling of her tongue brushing against yours feels sinful.

You wrap an arm around her waist, ready to flip her on her back and take her on this couch when suddenly a frantic knock startles you both. 

“What the fuck?” Tara mutters, pulling away from you but keeping a firm grip on your shoulders. She was panting heavily, lips already beginning to bruise. 

“I thought you said everyone was out for the night?” You heave, also trying to catch your breath. 

“They were…” She mutters, sliding off your lap to toss you your shirt. You slip it over your head swiftly, following the smaller girl as she walks to the door. 

She takes a look through the peephole and the scowl on her face was an indication that she was less than pleased. Then she moves to unlock the numerous amounts of locks on her door, yanking it open.

The twins, Anika and Ethan stood on the other side of the door.

“What are you guys doing here?” Tara says unamused, crossing her arms over her chest. You move to stand behind her, connecting eyes with your roommate. 

“Mindy said it’s movie night, so we came over,” Chad answers from behind his twin, holding up a plastic bag with a large smile on his face. “Don’t worry, we brought snacks!”

You send your roommate a glare, grateful Tara had her back to you. Slightly irritated because Mindy had been the one insisting you go see Tara.

Tara sighs, dropping her crossed arms. She glances at you for a brief moment, before opening the door wider to let the others in. 

“I’m gonna make some more popcorn…” The Carpenter mutters, leaving the room. 

You immediately corner Mindy. “What the hell, man? You told me to talk to her, what are you doing here?”

She raises an unimpressed brow, pointing at your neck. “Did she leave that hickey on your neck when you guys were talking too?”

You slap a hand on the spot she’s pointing at, attempting to hide it. “Shut up… I was going to talk to her later.”

“No, you weren’t.” She whispers, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. “You two were going to have sex and ignore the talking part… like you always do.”

You cross your arms, scowling, “So you gathered the entire village to cockblock me instead?” 

“Yes.” She responds unapologetically. You stare at your roommate for a few seconds. Eventually, you groan lowly, knowing she’s right. You were about to give in to Tara and until you two have talked about what this is, that probably wasn’t the best idea. 

Ultimately, that chance to talk with Tara never came as the friend group all settled back in the living room to watch a plethora of movies for the rest of the evening. And when Sam came home, everyone knew to call it a night.

Maybe you dodged a bullet by not confronting Tara tonight. Not quite sure what you even wanted to say to her, yet.

Hey Tara, remember when we agreed to just be friends with benefits? Yeah well I caught feelings... actually I may be in love with you. And it hurts when you run off with other people. Ha. Sorry.

She would run away from you. Tara was like a deer, you needed to be cautious upon approach. But even then, it was getting increasingly difficult to just remain friends with her.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Tara leans against the doorframe; watching as you slip on your jacket to leave. 

“I have my exam in the morning, but maybe after.” You stand unmoving for a few moments, wanting nothing more than to leave a kiss on her cheek but her sister was standing right there, watching the two of you with an observant gaze. So instead, you squeeze her shoulder, send her a tight-lipped smile and catch up with the rest of the group down the hall. 

You missed Tara’s disappointed frown. 

●●●

“What’s wrong with you?” Anika asks over the loud music.

Since it was officially spring break for everyone; students who decided to stay on campus have been throwing parties non-stop. And currently, that's where Tara found herself; huddled on a couch on a Thursday night beside Anika and Mindy, sipping on a red-solo cup as she watches people drunkenly dance around the room. 

“What? There’s wrong with me.” She glances at her friend, confused. 

“You’ve been staring holes at the front door for the last ten minutes.” Mindy counters, peering over her girlfriend to look at her childhood friend. 

“You can just say you’re waiting for Y/N.” Anika teases, bumping her shoulder. "We all know."

Tara rolls her eyes, “I’m not waiting for anyone.”

The Carpenter hears a scoff, “You didn’t even wanna go to this party until you heard she might be coming.” 

You’ve been…distant with her lately. 

Giving half-excuses as to why you can’t hang out, cancelling last minute on group activities or taking hours to respond through texts.

She hasn’t seen you since your friends crashed movie night and that was already a few days ago. You never did meet up with her the next day, and since then you’ve made yourself scarce; not hanging out with the friend group, always seemingly busy. 

She had confronted Chad on your whereabouts, she figured he would know where you have been spending your time, given your… close friendship with the boy. But Chad had merely said you were helping your uncle with his shop uptown during the break, hence why you haven’t been around.

Tara was hoping she can get a chance to be alone with you tonight and ask why you have been so closed off with her when she caught wind that Chad might be dragging you to the party.

“Shut up.” She mutters, sipping on the cheap alcohol. “She’s been acting weird lately, I just want answers.” 

The two girls nodded, unconvinced. For the amount of times, you two say you’re just ‘hooking up’ Tara sure played the part of the concerned girlfriend perfectly. 

Eventually, Tara’s wandering eyes snap to the door, catching a glimpse of the top of your head as push past the crowd with Chad and Ethan trailing behind you. You seem tense, looking like you’d rather be anywhere else than here. 

Before she can even think about it, she’s standing, about to stomp over to you but a hand on her wrist stops her.

“What?” She glances over at Mindy.

“At least, let Y/N grab a drink before you ambush her.” She reasons, glancing over at you from across the room.

Tara turns to find you, Chad and Ethan greeting a group of people, smiling and laughing. The group eventually trickles over to the kitchen, no doubt grabbing some drinks.

“Fine…” She mutters, sitting back down in her spot as you disappear from her sight.

Tara waits for you to come out of the kitchen for the next ten minutes; patience thinning by the second. This was ridiculous, you were literally another room away. Why is she waiting for you to come back? 

As the smaller girl's eyes remain unmoving from the kitchen door, she eventually sees you walking out with an unfamiliar girl beside you. You were smiling, clearly entertained by the conversation. Tara feels an uncomfortable pang in her chest at your undivided attention towards the girl. 

The Carpenter can’t help her moving legs as she stands, abandoning her cup on a random table; stalking toward you with an unrelenting gaze. Before you can even step into the living room, Tara is dragging you upstairs by the wrist; leaving the girl you were conversing with confused.

“What the hell— Tara!” You stumble behind her, desperately trying not to trip on the steps as she tugs you along with an unabated grip. 

She pushes you through a random door, slamming it shut behind her. Tara crosses her arms just glaring at you.

“What’d you do that for?” You huff, feeling slightly irritated. 

She raises a brow at your tone, “Wanna tell me why you’ve been distant with me lately?”

You stand straighter, “I’m not… I’ve just been busy.” 

Tara chuckles dryly, “Busy enough to ignore my texts?"

You didn't answer and the scoff Tara lets out tells you it was the wrong choice to make.

"You didn't seem busy enough when you were entertaining that girl downstairs.” Tara couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth, fed up with the silence.

She sees a flash of irritation in your eyes as you cross your arms, defensive. “Are you serious? Why do you even care? You’re not my girlfriend.”

Tara’s brows raise in surprise. For a brief moment, you regretted your words as she looked slightly hurt before her face drops impassively. “I didn’t know it was a crime to be worried about your friends.” 

You scoff, “Yeah friends…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” She stares at you, not believing that for a minute. 

“What is going on with you?” Tara steps forward, but you take a step back. This time, the Carpenter can’t hide the frown on her lips. 

“I think we should stop this…us.” You gesture between you two. 

“What?” Tara's forehead creases in confusion, unsure if she heard you correctly. 

“I can’t do it anymore.” You mutter, eyes trained to your shoes; unable to look her in the eyes. 

“Why?” She takes a step forward, reaching for your arm but you yank back.

“Cause I caught feelings!” You shout making Tara flinch; the repressed feelings you've been hopelessly trying to bury come hurling out; unable to keep them at bay. You knew this situation would only end in heartbreak the longer it continued. So you made the decision to break your heart first before she got the chance to. “I can’t do the games anymore… I-I'm tired, Tara. I think we should stop.”

“I–I…” Tara stutters, taken aback by your confession. "Y/N... we agreed we're just hooking up."

You laugh solemnly, roughly rubbing your eyes. Was it possible to feel your own heartbreak? That's really all she had to say? "Yeah... well too late for that."

"Y/N..."

“You don’t have to say anything else. You made your feelings clear. But I caught feelings, okay? I know it wasn’t part of the plan, but it just happened. So I’m sorry, but I just need some space at the moment.”

Without waiting for a response, you brush past the smaller girl, slamming the door behind you. 

Tara stands rooted in her spot, unable to move as you leave her to process what you just said. 

●●●

Reader:

:)

[starrvsn]

🥥 ˎˊ˗　fruit for thought ⠆how can you be mad at lando?

lando hates this.

he hates that you're in his bed, mad at him. your back facing him in complete silence. he can’t sleep which makes it worse– he doesn’t have someone to answer his redundant questions, to make jokes with or to share his mindless thoughts too because he knows you listen.

tonight, you drew the line on lando. he went to far on a joke during dinner and you had enough. it didn't help that you had a less than ideal day at work and all you wanted to do was unwind with your lover, that was to much to ask for you assume. you’ve been mad at him ever since, lando feels horrible for what he did and he apologized many times after it happened but was proven fruitless when you stayed quiet with him even after getting ready for bed.

he didn’t know if you were doing this to spite him or if you were genuinely upset because he could tell the difference– he thinks he can tell the difference. lando let’s out a hopeless sigh and shifts in bed for the tenth time that night– yes you’ve counted. as much as you couldn’t take the silence, you really wanted lando to understand what he had done wrong even if he looked like a dejected puppy while doing so. your lover repeats the same actions for another five times and doesn’t seem like he’s gonna put it to rest anytime soon.

“why do you keep sighing, what’s wrong?” your tone is low and curt. it startles the man in front of you, shifting his head to see that you're now facing him. eyes closed with your hands beneath your head. a rush of guilt pulses through him as he looks at you with a heavy gaze. you can’t see him but knows what his expression is like: pouted lips with furrowed brows afraid to say a word to you. you’ve never gotten like this towards him, he’s only seen it when you got upset at oscar for breaking your favorite vase. now that it’s towards him lando doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“i can't sleep.” he responds in a soft voice, slightly faltering.

“why’s that?” you inquire a sigh leaving your lips, awaiting his reason.

“i can’t sleep with you upset at me.” he mumbles, a pout lacing his words as if he was embarrassed to tell you. you would normally find his expression and efforts endearing but right now you’re supposed to be mad at him, your silent treatment a form of punishment. you flutter your eyes to see lando inches away from you with the exact expression you had visioned in your head.

“well should’ve thought about that before making that joke.” you mutter, locking your gaze to his before changing positions in bed akin to what he’s been doing for the past hour. a dejected expression graces his face as he watches you turn on your back, staring at the ceiling.

“i didn’t mean for it to go that far baby, i really didnt. i’m sorry y/n.” he huffs a bit before turning away from you, a familiar burn in his eyes which he tries to will away by stuffing his face into his pillow all while a thought floats into his head. at the thought he lets out a low whine– caring less if you think he’s acting a fool right now.

“what’s wrong, why are you doing that?” shifting your head to the side to look at him, dark shadows of him only visible against the moonlight, irritation threaded through your brows.

“i really can’t sleep now– you always do this thing where you run your hands through my hair as i lay on you, i’m sorry y/n you must be really upset with me.” his voice is muffled as he explains but you instantly know what he means. using all this energy being upset at lando makes you really realize how much you miss him. how much you miss his presence, his voice, his touch. maybe he’s forgiven, for now. wordlessly you reach for his arm, willing him to closer to you. though surprised, lando easily follows in a heartbeat, placing his head in the crook of your neck, his arms naturally moving around your waist and finally your fingers threading through his hair just like he explained earlier. your lover lets out a sigh of content and he snuggles closer to you.

“just so you know i’m still mad at you.”

“you can be mad at me later. let me enjoy this.”

ownership of starrvsn. please do not repost, modify or translate.

[venus-haze]

Love Is a Ring on the Telephone (Homelander x Reader)

Summary: When work calls you away from New York, Homelander can’t bear how much he misses you.

Note: Gender neutral reader and no descriptors are used. This fic is fluffy (and shorter than what I usually write) but still a little dark, and takes place vaguely during season 2. Inspired by Bruce Springsteen’s and Patti Smith’s versions of Because the Night (I actually got inspired for a few fics based on various lines in the song). Do not interact if you are under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Some possessive behavior and emotional manipulation (it’s Homelander). Do not interact if you’re under 18.

Homelander stared at the calendar taped to the wall in a desperate hope that he could somehow will time to race forward, and you’d be back home. He missed you terribly, spending the past few nights in your shoebox apartment he had yet to convince you to move out of. It was too cramped and loud for his liking, between your neighbors and the street noise, but he hadn’t realized how attached he’d become to it until you were gone. 

He went as far as pulling on one of your sweatshirts to sleep in, just because it still smelled like you. It was only day two of your five day business trip to a conference in Los Angeles, but each day without you felt like a week that dragged on endlessly. He’d been on bullshit missions from Vought that went longer, ones where he couldn’t even contact you until he returned, his insides shredded to bloody mush at the lingering anxiety that maybe in his absence, you found someone else.

From the moment he stepped into the disgustingly crowded airport with you, a melancholy swept over him. He offered to fly you to your hotel in LA himself, frustrated when you decided to do things the pedestrian way. At least his presence allowed you to skip the security line that stretched all the way back to the bag check as he graciously took selfies with each TSA agent. After all, you couldn’t be a threat if you were with The Homelander of all people. 

He would’ve gone with you, if it weren’t for the ‘Dawn of the Seven’ promotions that Ashley couldn’t get him out of. She nearly threw up while breaking the bad news to him, and he could hear her heart racing even as she practically sprinted down the hallway after he dismissed her. Reluctantly, he stayed behind while you went away, gritting his teeth through every interview and guest appearance. Having been paraded around plenty of Vought conferences himself, he knew damn well plenty of people used them as an excuse to get drunk and fuck around without their significant others’ knowledge.

He huffed, turning away from the calendar and practically rolling his eyes at himself. You’d proven time and time again that he could trust you, that you were the one for him. Still, his self-assurance did nothing to abate the sourness in his stomach, and suddenly, he’d pulled out his phone, ear pressed to the screen as the dial tone rang almost mockingly. He paced the kitchen floor, glancing at the clock on the wall. A little past one in the morning on the West Coast, but you wouldn’t mind if he woke you up.

“Baby? It’s late,” you yawned, the mundane noise making Homelander’s nerves settle slightly. “Is everything okay?”

He chewed his bottom lip, feeling like a schoolgirl calling her crush for the first time, almost instinctively reaching to play with a non-existent phone cord. There was neither pride nor shame when it came to you, only the affection and devotion that he’d spent his life longing for. Your presence soothed him, but your absence made his heart wrench in his chest. 

“Missed you,” he said softly.

“I miss you too. This conference is so boring. The people are weird, and I haven’t gotten a chance to see anything in LA.”

“What’s there to see? You’ve got a hot blond at home,” he said.

Your laughter made him feel indescribably lighter, even when it became muffled by your hand covering your mouth. 

“There aren’t palm trees in New York, smarty.”

“If you wanna see palm trees, I can think of at least five places I can take you that are nicer than LA.”

“I read that some palm trees grow in the Mediterranean, like Greece and Italy.”

“We’ll have to go one day to see, huh?”

You enthusiastically agreed, and he clung to your every word as you described your dream vacations in detail. He’d bring you everywhere, wrapped tightly in his arms from the moment he took off in New York until the two of you inevitably ended up in bed somewhere beautiful and secluded, where you could truly be alone together. 

He wondered what you’d think of moving out of the city, maybe to one of the smaller beach towns out on Long Island or somewhere more secluded in the Catskills. Either way, he’d have a commute for the first time in his life, but he could deal with a quick flight to Vought Tower if it meant waking up beside and coming home to you each day. After years of clamoring for the adoration of the masses, millions of people cheering his name and going into a frenzy in his presence paled in comparison to the sincerity in your voice and steady heartbeat whenever you told him that you loved him. 

Often, he felt like no one else knew what being in love was like, otherwise they wouldn’t make him go on asinine press tours or send you away to the opposite side of the country for a conference. Something so passionate and all-consuming as what he felt for you couldn’t be ruined by distance, and though he could listen to you talk on the phone all night, it wasn’t the same as being able to see and feel you. He’d grown far too accustomed to the warmth and gentleness of your touch, the way your eyes lit up for him and nobody else. 

A loud bang and the sound of drunk chatter outside your room interrupted your voice, and though no human could have heard the commotion so clearly, he could, and his lip curled in response. You immediately apologized, ranting about the people at the conference, most of whom you found uppity and unpleasant, finding networking with them at panels and meals more of a chore than an opportunity.

He looked at your refrigerator, colorful magnets holding up your handwritten lists and reminders, but his gaze was focused on the selfie of the two of you on your second date to the Bronx Zoo just a few months prior. You’d taken the time to get the photo printed and displayed in a spot that was domestic and sentimental, somewhere you and anyone else who entered your place could easily see. His hands suddenly felt cold in your physical absence, and a lump formed in his throat as he found himself on the verge of tears.

“If it’s such a drag, you should just leave early and come home.”

“Baby, you know I can’t—“

“I’ll take care of you,” he promised softly, the ‘from now on’ was unspoken, but from the way he could hear your breath faintly hitch over the phone, he knew you understood.

“Okay,” you whispered. “Will you come get me?”

“I’ll be there before you blink.”

“I’ll keep my eyes wide open for you.”

He smiled, letting out a soft chuckle at your words. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“That’s impossible.”

You were quiet for a moment. “Can’t I try?”

“You don’t need to try. Just being mine is enough, darling.”

Everything in his life had gone to shit so fast, but not you, never you. He’d raze cities to ash before letting you go, before possibly losing the warmth that enveloped him at the thought of you and how much you loved him. Even if he could bottle the feeling, inject it into his veins whenever he pleased, he wouldn’t, not when he had you by his side. He wasn’t sure if anyone could compare. As much as he wished he’d met you sooner, he supposed later was better than never.

You ended the phone call, your voice soft and melodic as you once again professed your love to him. He did the same before hanging up, hastily grabbing one of your sweaters from your closet. You’d always get cold while flying with him. He brought the knitwear to his nose, the scent of your fabric softener and a hint of your perfume almost making him dizzy. Wasting no more time, he left your apartment to make it to Los Angeles before you could fall back asleep.

He knew which hotel you were staying at and the room number, having texted it to him before you left. Of course, he’d memorized the details, and within half an hour was hovering outside of your eighth floor hotel room window, which you gladly opened for him. You were in your pajamas, your small suitcase packed on the bed.

“My hero!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms around him and pressing a playful kiss to his cheek.

Your lips on his skin made it feel like he was on fire, and he took your face in his ungloved hands, kissing you desperately as your sweater fell to the floor. Two days had suddenly transformed into a lifetime of longing and separation, and as he slipped his tongue into your open mouth, he did so with the intention of savoring you, getting as close to devouring you as he could. 

Squeezing his hips to steady yourself only encouraged him further, a groan rumbling from deep in his chest. Sometimes, you made it so hard for him to have any self-control, and in those moments he almost lamented his powers. His strength made your being with him inherently dangerous, yet despite the risks, you willingly sought out his embrace and intimacy.

“Always yours,” he muttered huskily against your lips. 

You looked at the sweater on the floor, smiling at the gesture. “Thanks.”

“Can’t have you catching pneumonia on the way home, can I?” he said as you pulled the sweater on.

You grabbed your suitcase off the bed, and he took it from you with ease, holding it in one hand, his other arm firmly around your waist. He’d flown you plenty of places before, and though you were no longer nervous like the first time he took you flying, he loved how you clung to him anyway.

[mmilkbreadd]

—oh my god, they were roommates—

Previous || Masterlist

╰┈➤ when is my heart going to stop beating fast every time i see them?

╰┈➤ someone help me PLEASE.

╰┈➤ call a medic.

notes: tsukishima can’t handle his feelings like a big boy [yes, i ended this fic three years later, so?]

word count: 3.2k

[third and last part]

It’s been three months since the lights went out —when Tsukishima discovered your eyes were stars burning brightly in the night.

Three months where you hadn’t even exchanged anything but a few glances here and there.

Three months where he had definitely been avoiding you.

The three most uncomfortable months of your entire life (and it wasn’t because of the apartment that you were living in; in fact, it was by far the loveliest and calmest place you had ever slept in).

Yet, why was sharing an apartment such a difficult relationship?

But still, did you even have a relationship? A friendship, at least?

Companionship…?

You weren’t even sure what that word meant! But it certainly wasn’t what your ‘rommate-ship’ was about. Besides, you couldn’t point out when it had changed —the ‘lights out incident’ was just a funny anecdote to you: a way to remember some of your first days at your new home.

On the contrary, to Tsukishima, it was as his life had taken a huge turn: a wave of feelings had suddenly hit his heart. His emotions fluttered as he was a hormonal teenager in love. But Kei was never one of the popular jocks who had every person falling for him —he had a few students following him around during his high school days, but they were never that serious—, therefore he had never felt what having feelings for someone meant.

He felt weird around you, like he was making a fool out of himself every time you shared the same air, the same room, the same bathroom! He was out of words whenever you asked him how his day had been.

Him! The Tsukishima Kei! Who would’ve thought? Not even Yamaguchi Tadashi would’ve, to be honest.

Tsukishima didn’t know what to do anymore. His palms were always sweaty, his minds constantly occupied with thoughts about you —he used to be so serious about volleyball practice, but it was completely difficult to concentrate when he knew that he would have to come back to meet you in the apartment! He made so many mistakes during matches that his coach even thought about benching him for a few games afterwards.

So, three months after the lights went out, he made a decision: he was moving in with Tadashi for a few days until his heart calmed down.

His best friend’s apartment was too tiny to fit them both. But a place on the couch had Tsukishima’s name in it and he didn’t bother sleeping on it —even if it was half his size.

And there he was: bag at his feet; baseball cap on his head; mobile phone with three missing calls from his pretty roommate; and his right index finger was pressing the doorbell, repeatedly.

The door opened only to show Yamaguchi wearing his baby blue pajamas; his hair, a tangled mess.

“It’s six in the morning,” he stated the obvious. “What’s going on?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Tsukishima simply said as his best friend moved to the left to let him in.

“So, you decided to pack a bag and just… come over?” Yamaguchi asked after closing the door behind him. “I’m sorry, Tsukki, but I just don’t believe you at all.”

Tsukishima slowly made his way to the small green couch in the center of the living room area. He sat on the left side as his eyes took in his newest home.

A big plasma T.V stood in front of him, along with a coffee table cluttered with magazines, video game controllers, and a few empty snack wrappers. Yamaguchi's apartment was cozy but undeniably lived-in, unlike the sterile cleanliness of Tsukishima’s place.

Yamaguchi sighed, rubbing his eyes before sitting down next to Tsukishima. “Alright, spill it. What’s really going on?”

Tsukishima hesitated, looking down at his hands. He wasn’t good at this—talking about feelings. But he needed to get this off his chest. “It’s my roommate.”

Yamaguchi raised an eyebrow. “The one you’ve barely talked about? What’s wrong with them?”

Tsukishima took a deep breath. “Everything. Nothing. I don’t know. It’s just… every time I’m around them, I feel like I can’t think straight. It’s affecting everything, even volleyball.”

Yamaguchi leaned back, a small smile forming on his lips. “Ah, I see. You like them.”

Tsukishima’s head shot up, eyes wide. “What? No, that's not—

“Tsukki, you’re not fooling anyone. Not even yourself,” Yamaguchi interrupted gently. “It's written all over your face. You like them, and it’s driving you crazy.”

Tsukishima groaned, running a hand through his hair. “I don't know what to do, Tadashi. I can't keep living like this.”

Yamaguchi patted his friend's shoulder. “You need to talk to them. Maybe they feel the same way.”

“I can’t," Tsukishima said firmly. “I don't want to make things awkward. It’s bad enough as it is.”

“Then you need to find a way to deal with it,” Yamaguchi said. “Running away isn’t going to help.”

Tsukishima knew he was right. But the thought of confronting his feelings, and you, was terrifying. “I just need some time away. To clear my head.”

Yamaguchi nodded. “Alright, you can stay here for a few days. But promise me you’ll talk to them eventually. You can't avoid this forever.”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima muttered, though he wasn't sure he believed it himself. For now, he just wanted to escape the turmoil inside him, even if it was only temporary.

As he settled onto the couch, Tsukishima couldn't help but wonder what you were doing right now. Were you worried about him? Angry? Did you even notice he was gone? He pushed the thoughts away, closing his eyes and trying to find some semblance of peace in the midst of his chaotic emotions.

Meanwhile, back at the apartment, you were pacing the living room, your phone clutched tightly in your hand. You had noticed Tsukishima’s absence immediately. It was hard not to when the apartment felt so empty without him.

You had called him three times already, each time more frantic than the last. Where could he have gone so early in the morning? And why hadn't he told you?

The morning stretched into afternoon, and Tsukishima remained at Yamaguchi’s apartment, wrestling with his thoughts while Yamaguchi went about his daily routines. The quiet hum of the television played in the background as Tsukishima sat on the couch, lost in contemplation.

Then the afternoon became night, then morning again. And suddenly, two days passed without further notice.

You sat down on the couch, staring at your phone. Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe he just needed some space. But you couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Three months had passed since the ‘lights out’ incident, and in that time, you had grown accustomed to Tsukishima's presence, even if he was distant and aloof. There was something comforting about knowing he was there, in the next room or sharing a meal in the kitchen.

You had tried to break through his walls, to get to know the person behind the cold exterior. But it seemed like every time you made progress, he would retreat even further. It was frustrating, but you were determined to be patient.

As you sat there, you realized just how much you missed him. His snarky comments, his occasional smirks, even the awkward silences. It was all part of the strange, complicated dynamic that had formed between you.

Taking a deep breath, you decided that when Tsukishima returned, you would confront him. You would tell him how you felt and hope that he would finally open up to you.

“What if something happened to him?” you muttered to yourself, biting your lip anxiously. You knew Tsukishima was independent and capable, but the fear of the unknown nagged at you.

Finally, unable to sit still any longer, you grabbed your keys and rushed out the door. Maybe he had gone for a walk to clear his head, or perhaps he was at a nearby cafe. You had to find him, to make sure he was okay.

As you walked down the familiar streets, you replayed your interactions with Tsukishima in your mind. Despite his aloofness and occasional sharp words, you had noticed glimpses of something more beneath his tough exterior. There were moments when his guard seemed to lower, when he would share a small smile or a thoughtful comment.

But now, faced with his sudden disappearance, you wondered if you had missed something important. Had you pushed too hard, too fast? Were you the reason he had left?

Lost in your thoughts, you almost missed the familiar figure sitting alone on a bench in the park. Tsukishima sat with his head bowed, staring at his phone with a troubled expression.

Relief flooded through you as you approached him cautiously. “Kei,” you called softly, unsure of how he would react.

He looked up, surprised to see you there. His expression softened slightly, but there was still tension in his posture. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been worried about you,” you admitted, standing in front of him. “You left without saying anything. Are you okay?”

What the hell? What’s going on with me? Tsukishima thought. Say something!

He hesitated, his gaze flickering away. “I was at Tadashi’s, and then I came to get some air. He lives ten blocks from here.”

“I understand,” you said gently, sitting down beside him. “But you could have told me. I was really worried. It’s been two days.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I didn't mean to cause you any concern.”

“Tsukishima,” you started, gathering your thoughts. “We've been living together for three months now, and... I feel like we barely know each other. I want to understand what's going on with you, but you keep pushing me away.”

He looked at you then, his eyes searching yours. “Am I supposed to be sorry?” he murmured. “It wasn’t my intention or anything.”

Yeah, right.

As you listened to Tsukishima’s response, frustration and hurt welled up inside you. His dismissive tone and lack of remorse grated on your nerves, making it difficult to hold back your emotions.

“You don’t have to apologize, Tsukishima,” you replied, your voice tinged with disappointment. “But a simple ‘I’m sorry for worrying you’ would have sufficed.”

He looked away, a hint of guilt flashing across his face before it was replaced by his usual aloof demeanor. “Oh, forgive me for not realizing I needed to report my every move to you,” he retorted sarcastically.

“Maybe not to you,” you shot back, your patience wearing thin. “But to me, it was. I care about you, even if you don’t seem to care about how your actions affect me.”

You felt a pang of hurt at Tsukishima’s cold response, his words cutting deeper than you expected. His aloof demeanor and sharp tongue were nothing new, but somehow, this stung more than usual.

“We’re not even friends, [Y/N],” he continued, his tone chillingly matter-of-fact. “We’re roommates. We don’t have to get along, it wasn’t on the contract.”

His dismissiveness struck a nerve, and you struggled to contain your emotions. “You’re right,” you replied, your voice steady despite the hurt bubbling inside you. “We’re roommates, but that doesn’t mean we can’t treat each other with basic respect.”

Tsukishima scoffed lightly, crossing his arms defensively. “Respect? Spare me the lecture, please.”

“You know what?” you said, your frustration simmering to the surface. “Maybe I expected too much. Maybe I thought there was more to you than this sarcastic facade. But clearly, I was wrong.”

He glanced at you, a flicker of something unreadable passing through his eyes. “You don’t know anything about me,” he retorted sharply.

“Then why don’t you tell me?” you challenged, your voice tinged with both anger and sadness. “Why don’t you let me in instead of pushing me away at every turn?”

Tsukishima looked away, his jaw tightening as if grappling with his own emotions. For a moment, he seemed at a loss for words, which was rare for someone usually so quick-witted.

“You wouldn’t understand,” he muttered finally, his voice quieter than before.

“Try me,” you urged softly, your frustration giving way to genuine concern. “I want to understand, Kei. I want to know why you’re like this.”

He met your gaze then, his eyes guarded yet holding a hint of vulnerability. “Because it’s easier,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s easier than letting people in and risking getting hurt.”

Your heart ached at his confession, the walls he had built suddenly making sense. “But that’s no way to live,” you said gently, stepping closer to him. “Closing yourself off from everyone… It’s lonely, isn’t it?”

Tsukishima hesitated, his gaze dropping to the floor. “Maybe,” he admitted quietly. “But that’s a me problem. I don’t need your help nor words of encouragement.”

You paused, taken aback by Tsukishima’s sharp rebuttal. His words stung, cutting through the fragile moment of vulnerability he had just shared. The raw honesty of his admission had felt like a crack in his armor, a glimpse of the person buried beneath the sarcasm and aloofness.

“I understand,” you said softly, trying to keep your voice steady despite the hurt. “But sometimes, we all need someone to lean on, even if it’s just a little.”

Tsukishima glanced up at you, his expression guarded once more. “I don’t lean on anyone,” he stated firmly. “I manage on my own.”

Your heart sank at his insistence on pushing you away. “You don’t have to face everything alone, Kei,” you said gently, reaching out to touch his arm lightly. “Let me be there for you.”

He tensed under your touch, his gaze flickering with uncertainty. “Why do you even care?” he asked, his voice tinged with a mix of curiosity and defensiveness.

“Because I see more in you than you see in yourself,” you replied honestly, meeting his eyes with unwavering sincerity. “And because despite everything, I care about you.”

Tsukishima’s expression softened slightly, though his defenses remained intact. “You’re too persistent,” he muttered, almost to himself.

“Then, I’ll cease,” you answered, saddened by his awful attitude. “I’ll be at home. Let me know if I have to start looking for another place to live, though.”

Tsukishima watched you live without even flinching. He saw your move from side to side, and deep inside, he desired for you to turn around. To come back, to beg for him. Was he always this selfish?

He should be the one to be for you, to be for your forgiveness. Three months with nothing but a few words. Three months of ignoring his roommate. Three months with an unnoticed suffering.

“That was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen,” said Yamaguchi, arriving from behind Tsukishima. “And I’ve seen you reject multiple people in high school with the most monotone voice and evilness.”

Tsukishima’s expression hardened again as he turned to face Yamaguchi. “I don’t need your commentary,” he snapped, his voice laced with frustration.

Yamaguchi crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow. “Well, you clearly need something. What were you thinking, Tsukki?”

Tsukishima sighed, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. “I don’t know, okay? Everything’s just... complicated.”

“Complicated?” Yamaguchi echoed, shaking his head. “You like them, don't you?”

Tsukishima’s eyes widened slightly at the blunt question. “What does it matter?” he deflected. “They deserve better than someone who doesn’t even know how to talk to them properly.”

Yamaguchi stepped closer, his tone softening. “Then tell them that. Tell them how you feel. It’s better than pushing them away and hurting them even more.”

Tsukishima looked down at his feet, the weight of his own insecurities bearing down on him. “I’ll just ruin it all over again. I hate this.” he mumbled.

Yamaguchi’s expression softened further, empathy clear in his eyes. “You’re not going to ruin anything by being honest,” he said gently. “You’re human, Tsukki. You’re allowed to have feelings and make mistakes.”

Tsukishima clenched his jaw, grappling with the swirling emotions inside him. His mind raced through the memories of the past three months—your late-night cleaning sessions, your disdain for cold breakfasts and black coffee, the way you immersed yourself in the volleyball magazines he left lying around, your eyes lighting up whenever you found his name mentioned.

The way your eyes sparkled with genuine interest and admiration—it was something he had never experienced before. Something he didn't know how to handle.

He couldn't help but recall the countless times he had caught himself staring at you, wondering what it would be like to be close to you, to share more than just a living space. But he had built walls around his heart, walls he thought were impenetrable.

Taking a deep breath, Tsukishima straightened his shoulders. He knew what he had to do, even if it terrified him. Yamaguchi was right—he couldn't keep pushing you away and hurting you. He needed to be honest, to take the risk, even if it meant exposing his vulnerability.

As he made his way back to the apartment, he replayed the conversation he wanted to have with you over and over in his mind. He practiced what he would say, how he would say it. But as he reached the door, all the rehearsed words seemed to evaporate.

Gathering his courage, he opened the door and stepped inside. You were sitting on the couch, looking lost in thought. Hearing the door, you looked up, surprise and apprehension flickering in your eyes.

“[Y/N], we need to talk,” Tsukishima said, his voice steady but filled with unspoken emotion.

You nodded, sitting up straighter, bracing yourself for whatever was to come.

He took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto yours. “I’ve been an idiot,” he began, his voice raw. “I’ve been pushing you away because… because I was scared. Scared of getting close to someone. Scared of getting hurt.”

You listened intently, your heart pounding in your chest.

“But the truth is,” Tsukishima continued, his voice softening, “I’ve come to care about you more than I ever thought possible. I’ve been hiding behind these walls, but I can’t do it anymore. I like you, [Y/N]. A lot. And I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you.”

Your eyes widened, tears threatening to spill over. “Kei… I…”

He took a step closer, his gaze never leaving yours. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I want to try. I want to get to know you, to let you in. If you’ll give me a chance.”

A tear slipped down your cheek, and you smiled through it, the weight of the past three months lifting from your shoulders. “I’ve liked you too, Kei. Despite everything, I’ve always seen the good in you. And I want to give us a chance, too.”

Tsukishima let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, relief flooding through him. In that moment, the barriers he had built around his heart began to crumble, making way for something new, something hopeful.

If he was the moon, he hoped the stars would never leave his side again.

[bvbygrl-writes]

Season of The Witch (5)

Pairing: Jacob Black x Witch!Reader x Edward Cullen

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: (Y/n) (L/n) is 19 and still trying to figure out the world. She isn't sure of a lot of things but she is sure of one: she's gonna have her cake and eat it too.

A/N: An Edward dedicated chapter <3

Warnings: N/A but it will be 18+ at some point most likely. Minors and blanks dni. Also I didn't edit any of it so ignore any typos.

As the month went by, you and Jacob were spending a lot more time together. He had taken you to La Push where you had lunch with him and his pack. He’d driven you to the Cliff where Uley and the others would jump during the nights you couldn’t sleep. The two of you would sit there for hours, just staring up at the stars, listening as the water crashed on the jagged rocks below. Those were the nights you enjoyed the most. Where you’d wake up laying beside each other under your coats that he had formed into blankets. He’d always come over for breakfast the next morning, your mom gushing over how sweet he was, dad eyeing him up protectively.

And although you enjoyed every second of it, you also found yourself feeling guilty. You knew you liked Jacob, there wasn’t a single doubt about it. There was a clear connection between you that felt so natural, felt so right. But a lot of times, your mind also went back to Edward. The feeling of his cold hands on your face that day was something you couldn’t forget. He was like a constant presence that loomed in the back of your mind and the very tip of your heart. You had to see him again.

“You okay?” Bella asked, placing a concerned hand on your shoulder. You squeeze the warm mug of hot chocolate in your hand, curling it close to your body. The days were growing colder but you still enjoyed sitting on your porch, watching the bright colored leaves fall from the trees. Sighing, you give her a half smile as you nod.

“I’m okay it’s just..” you trail off, nibbling at your bottom lip as you turn to face her, crossing your legs on the couch. “What do you know about Edward Cullen? I know you mentioned that you’re dating his sister.” you asked. She quirked a brow, staring at you. You squirmed uncomfortably under her gaze.

“Where is this coming from? You’ve never mentioned him before.” she says, an amusement in her tone. You look down at your lap, setting your mug down on the table to your side.

“I-I don’t know. It’s just, I met him a few days after I moved here and I can’t stop thinking about him. With Jacob out patrolling with his pack the past week, it’s given my mind more freedom to wander.” you admit, shrugging your shoulders sheepishly. “I just feel so guilty, I really like Jacob but…”

“Hey, why don’t you come over with me to the Cullen’s place tonight? I was going to go over there anyways, maybe then you’ll know if it’s just a crush or a passing thing.” she suggested, rubbing your arm affectionately. You play with your rings for a moment before agreeing.

“It couldn’t hurt. Plus, I’m not doing myself any favors pouting in my room about not being able to see Jake.” the two of you had been texting in his absence but, it wasn’t as good as having the real thing there with you. “I’m going to need to change first because this,” you point at yourself, motioning to your baggy sweatpants, sweatshirt, and bunny slippers, “Isn’t doing me any favors.” you and Bella share a laugh as she rolls her eyes.

“You’re so extra sometimes. It’s not like you’re meeting the pope.” you gasp at the accusation, hopping up from the couch.

“Meeting a house full of vampires is a huge deal, Bells! The better I look the less likely they are to wanna drink my oh so rare and delicious witchy blood! Or at least I hope.” You grab her hand, dragging her into the house and up the stairs. “I promise it won’t take long! Just an hour…or two.”

“Or two?!”

An hour and a half later, you and Bella are hopping out of her red truck. You pull your cardigan closer to yourself, priming your appearance in the reflection on the body of the vehicle. As the two of you approach the door, a blonde man opens the door. He smiles at Bella before smiling at you too. He extends a hand which you shake.

“Carlisle Cullen. I work with your father down at the hospital.” he explains, you nod along searching for words to say.

“Nice to meet you. Dad says you’re great at what you do.” you compliment.

“That’s great to hear. In all my years, I’ve never seen someone as great and passionate about what they do. He’s got me beat for sure.” he responds humbly. You can tell he’s a very kind and composed man. You hope you can say the same for the rest of his family. Carlisle opens the door wider, stepping to the side for the two of you to enter.

A brunette woman comes down the stairs. She sniffs the air before letting out a pleasured sigh. “A witch. I haven’t smelled one of those in years. My goodness that is divine.” she says before walking towards you. You freeze, going to lift your hand in case she decides to attack you. However, she doesn’t. Instead, she gives you a quick hug before releasing you. “I’m Esme, Carlisle’s wife. It’s nice to finally meet you.” Finally? Before you can ask what she means, a blur runs up to you hugging you in a much more intense fashion. You feel like your bones are gonna snap before she releases you. She has a soft grip on your shoulders as she smiles at you full of glee.

“You’re the girl!” she squeals out excitedly.

“Um, I’m sorry?” you ask confused. A set of approaching footsteps catches your attention. Your heart flutters at the sight of Edward, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He gives you a once over before your eyes lock on each other.

“That’s Alice. She can see the future.” he states. You nod before turning back towards Alice who’s still looking at you with excitement.

“I saw you coming before you were even in town!” you nod, understanding her former words now. Her eyes grow distant as if she’s seeing something before she stumbles back a bit. She looks from you, to the necklace Jacob had given you around your neck, and back to Edward again. “You’re going to have your hands quite full!” with that she runs from you over to Bella. You watch as she lifts her, spinning her in the air as she gives her a loving kiss. She then leans down to her ear whispering something. Bella’s eyes grow wide as she looks at you before turning her attention back to Alice.

Edward grabs your shoulder, turning you to face him. “I’m sure they’re going to be like that for a while. Would you like a tour?” he asks. You nod, playing with your fingers shyly.

“I’d like that.”

As your tour concludes, you end up in the entrance to Edward’s room. The shelves are lined with CDs. A lot of them are classical ones but a few of them are some names you recognize. You pick up Favorite Worst Nightmare by the Arctic Monkeys, removing it from its case before popping it into the player. You turn around at the sound of Edward closing the door. He motions for you to sit on the chase in the room and as you do, he sits with you.

“Your house is beautiful by the way. I mean, I wouldn’t be able to get a wink with all the windows but…I guess that isn’t an issue for you. Sorry, is that offensive? I didn’t mean it lik-” he squeezes your thigh gently and you stop rambling. He smiles softly, shaking his head.

“You’ve been doing your research clearly. Don’t worry, you couldn’t offend me even if you tried. I don’t think I could ever be mad at you.” he says, dragging the back of his hand down the side of your cheek. Your eyes flutter close for a moment before opening as he begins to speak again. “I’ve been thinking about you all month. I wanted to come and see you again but anytime I got close to your house, there was the overwhelming stench of dog.” he says, his nose twisting up at the thought. “Not even your scent could mask it.” you look down at your chest, playing with the wolf pendant around your neck. You miss how he looks at it in disdain.

“Jacob’s nice, you know. I think you guys could be friends even if there wasn’t a natural hatred between the two of you.” you explain, looking back up at him. “A-and the feeling is mutual. I’ve been thinking about you more than I’d like to admit.” he scoots closer to you, a smirk present on his face.

“Why don’t you embrace it? Clearly something is drawing us closer to one another. I think that’s a beautiful thing.” he mutters. His face slowly inches closer and closer. He brushes some of your hair. Your heart thumps wildly in nerves and anticipation. You think he’s going to kiss you until he places a kiss on your cheek instead. Goosebumps trail up and down along your spine. “Relax, I’m not going to steal your first kiss from you. At least not yet.” he whispers in your ear before pulling back to look at your face. You splutter a bit as he chuckles.

“That is so not funny!” you exclaim, swatting him in the chest. He’s got a smug grin on his face, revealing his sharp canines.

“No. But, you’re very cute when you’re nervous.” flipping him off, you lean your back onto the cold glass of the window, attempting to cool yourself down. He watches you, grabbing one of your hands. You don’t pull it away, allowing him to hold it. You let out a faux cough, looking away from him as you turn your eyes back to the cds in front of you.

“So, you like music? I see most of it classical aside from a few albums. Is that by choice or lack of knowledge?” you question, turning your attention back to him.

“A bit of both. I’ve tried branching out before, it’s just kind of hard to find things I enjoy with how vast music is now.” he explains. You hum, nodding.

“You know, I could burn you a few tapes. Since you seem adverse to the world of modern technology.” you tease. He rolls his eyes.

“I’m not adverse to it. Music just always sounds better on tape. The vocals are much richer and you can truly hear the tones.” Only Ones Who Know comes on. It was always one of your favorites off the album. You sway a bit, mouthing the lyrics to it. Edward stands up, offering you a hand. You shake your head.

“Nu uh, no way.” he ignores your protest, yanking you up. You trip a bit, stabling your hands on his shoulders. Reluctantly, you begin to sway in sync with him. It’s a very simplified waltz as he spins you around slowly, dipping you down. Your foreheads are pressed together before he puts you back up right. He holds your hand up and you reluctantly spin, laughing as you fall forward into his chest. He wraps his arms around your waist, holding you there, your hands pressed against his chest. It’s as if time freezes as the two of you stand there. You’ve been there for a while, the last track on the album playing.

“Alice is thinking of asking Bella to stay the night. Would you allow me the honor of taking you home?” Edward asks hopefully, pulling back to look at you. You pretend to think on it for a long time as he shakes you gently.

“Alright, alright! Yes, you can take me home. Which car is- woah!” you shout as he swings you onto his back at a super human speed before jumping out of the window on the far side. “Holy shit can you warn a girl next time?!”

“So there will be a next time then?” his tone is laced with playfulness as he runs through the trees. 

“That is so not the point here!”

As you arrive at the back of your house, Edward jumps with you onto the balcony. You hop off his back, facing him as you back away towards the door. You lean against it as he rest against the railing.

“Tonight was fun. I hope we can hang out like this again soon.” you say, staring down at your boots. Edward rushes forward, tilting your chin up with a finger. He’s got the same dopey smile on his face that’s barely left it all night.

“We will. Your dad is planning on asking mine if he wants to come over for the big game this Friday. But, I’d like to see you again before that.” he says. You wrap your hand around his, laying it on top of your cheek.

“I’d like that.” you purr out. He squeezes your cheek before hopping off the balcony only to return with a daisy. He tucks it behind your ear, winking before running off once more into the night. You hear your phone ping in your pocket. Taking it out you see a notification from Edward.

Edward 🦇: Put my number in your phone before I left. It was a pleasure seeing you again. I hope your dreams are filled with me because my thoughts will be occupied by you.

(Y/n): You’ve made an appearance in them from time to time but mostly it’s just cute animals. And being naked in my old high school...

You change into your pajamas before flopping on the bed, screaming into your pillow. If anything, tonight just made things more complicated. There wasn’t a doubt about how you felt for either of them. You had a romantic interest in both of them. It wasn’t love yet but with the way things were going, you knew it was heading there, regardless of if you asked your heart to stop.

6

[cupidjyu]

crocheted flowers

hyunjae x reader

when hyunjae, the man who you hate and who hates you in return, becomes your temporary bodyguard, the two of you surprisingly grow closer through misunderstandings and... flirting.

genre: enemies to lovers, royal au, bodyguard hyunjae, flirting, slow dancing, he's very strong, and very protective, yet so gentle, misunderstandings, past mistreatment mentioned notes: hahahahahaha word count: 13k

Even with your head resting on your palm, it still lolled down. Were your eyes being taped shut? Why couldn’t you keep them open? Maybe it was because you were crocheting late into the night. Still, this meeting couldn’t be any more boring.

“Are you listening, Your Highness?” 

Immediately, you jerked up, blinking your eyes rapidly. You looked around, squinting through your exhaustion. Everyone sitting around the table had their eyes on you–some looked concerned, some amused, and some… disappointed. 

“What? Yes, yes,” you stammered. “I’m listening.”

The stern-looking woman stared at you for a second before eventually nodding. She was horribly intimidating, though you understood why. She was the event organizer (you liked to call her party planner instead) so she had to ensure everything was perfect.

“The ball is confirmed to be two weeks from now…” 

You yawned, adjusting your clothes which were very uncomfortable, dare you add. When you looked around, you made eye contact with Haknyeon, your bodyguard. He grinned and mocked your sleeping form with exaggerated hand signs which you scoffed at quietly. When you moved your head to the side, your eyes landed on Hyunjae, your other bodyguard. 

Quickly, your mood soured just at the sight of him. You try to avoid speaking his name or addressing him at all, but whenever you do, it’s spoken with a harsh, uncaring tone. It’s not like he didn’t share the same feelings.

He raised an eyebrow, leaning forward and tilting his head. Then, he glanced down at the papers set in front of you that you were supposed to be looking over right now.

Focus, he mouthed.

Your jaw clenched and you tore your gaze away from him stubbornly. Th2ough, you did actually decide to tune into the meeting. You were pretty sure you heard your name about three times.

“As requested by the King, Y/n’s escort will not be a prince from another land. At least for now. Instead, her escort shall be her personal bodyguard.”  

You perked up at that. You’ve always despised the possibility that you would be forced to walk into a ball with some stuck-up prince that you had met just a minute ago. With a smile, you turned to look at Haknyeon. He was your personal bodyguard, the one who follows you around all day. Hyunjae on the other hand, had the role of guarding your door. So thankfully, your escort was Haknyeon and not him.

But to your surprise, Haknyeon quickly looked away with a sheepish look. You furrowed your eyebrows. Did he not want to be your escort? 

Please no, I can’t go with Hyunjae. Anyone but him.

After the meeting, you walked out, still slightly groggy after your mid-meeting nap. Instantly, Haknyeon was by your side like the perfect bodyguard that he was. You sighed, holding your stomach as you turned to him. “Do you want to eat lunch with me during your break?” 

Yet again, he gave you a guilty look. “I have something… to do.” 

“Oh,” you breathed. “That’s okay. Just make sure to make it up next time,” you playfully replied.

“Of course, Y/n.” He grinned back. That was another thing you liked about Haknyeon. He didn’t often call you ‘Your Highness’ which you always felt was too proper. You liked it when he called you just by your name. 

“Want me to save you dessert?” You giggled.

He hummed, his eyes sparkling just at the thought. “You know me so well.” He glanced back at one of the staff calling him over. “I’ll be right back.”

You nodded and watched him jog over to pick up some equipment. Haknyeon would always be your favorite bodyguard. He was kind and had a great sense of humor. Especially after following you around and protecting you for a few years, he knew a lot about you compared to really… anyone else.

You heard a shift behind you and you whipped around. Your alert state quickly dissolved into an annoyed one as you faced Hyunjae who was leaning against the wall, right next to you. 

You narrowed your eyes. “Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to go back to your post?”

He turned to look at you before turning to face the wall. He liked to do that–ignore you rudely. “Haknyeon’s occupied right now. You can’t be alone.”

You roll your eyes and clenched a fist. Oh, how you hated his stupid, unimpressed expression and his even stupider arms that were crossed over his chest. “I don’t need your help,” you gritted out.

“And I don’t want to help you. This is just my job.” He merely glanced at you. 

You swore you saw red as you stepped forward. “You–” 

You were then startled by Haknyeon who appeared behind you, gently guiding you back from possibly pouncing on one of your bodyguards. “Y/n,” he laughed nervously as he pulled you along in the direction of your room. “I think you’re tired. How long have you been crocheting?”

“A few hours,” you muttered. “But still, I’m not tired. He’s just so… obnoxious. And mean! And–” You just groaned, completely frustrated.

Being born into a royal family, you naturally already had enemies, most of them being from other lands or old classmates you used to argue with. But you didn’t pay them any mind. The only enemy that you did pay mind was Hyunjae, your own bodyguard. You hated him so much.

He was strict with you and never treated you nicely. He never even gave you a reason for doing so. It was like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, every single day. He always had these snarky responses and annoyed glares directed only at you. You just couldn’t stand him. 

And that is why you would like to sincerely thank whoever invented hot showers. You didn’t care if it practically burned your skin, it always let off those knots in your muscles whenever you interacted with your arch-nemesis bodyguard. With damp hair and your sleepwear on, you headed back to your room.

Usually, at this time, Hyunjae was on his break, meaning he wouldn’t witness you without your usual attire and with messy, disheveled hair. You were always expected to look your best in front of others, whether you liked them or not.

But just as you turned the corner, you stopped abruptly in your tracks, almost slipping on the floor. His post was supposed to be empty yet he was standing right there. 

Cautiously, you approached your door with an annoyance already creeping up your spine. “Why are you here?”

“Funny, that’s the second time you asked.” His eyes narrowed when he noticed you tensing at his words. “Again, it’s my job. My break got pushed back.”

You took in a deep breath as if that would do anything to calm your anger. “You’re so… rude. What would your boss think?”

“Technically, you’re my boss.”

You blinked in realization before quickly schooling your face neutrally.

“And even so—“ He paused when he heard a sound from down the hallway. He almost became… alert. Sometimes, you forget that he was still a bodyguard. When he realized it was just a broom that had simply fallen over, he relaxed and turned back to you. “I couldn’t care less.”

“You’ll care when I fire you,” you spoke through your teeth. Yet, he only stared at you unimpressed.

“But you know that I’m the best option. How could you let me go?” He faked a pout. You stayed quiet, knowing that he was right. The other bodyguards were a bit too… energetic and admiring for your liking.

You sighed, glancing at your door. “Still, you shouldn’t see me like this.” You eyed yourself who was the opposite of put together right now. “There’s a reason why I wanted you on break.” You looked away, slightly embarrassed.

You could feel his eyes on you, or more specifically, traveling over you. Then he hummed, almost amused.

“I see no difference, Your Highness.”

“Ah, so you’re a liar too.”

He looked like he was about to refute but he eventually sighed and gestured to your room. “Just go to your room.”

—

The next day, you stood at the entrance of the same meeting room. When the door opened, you were met with the sight of your two bodyguards as well as the event organizer standing, seemingly waiting for you. You gulped. Were you in trouble for falling asleep? No, that can’t be.

“What’s this about?” You spoke nervously. Your eyes landed on Haknyeon, who was frowning and giving you pitiful eyes. You furrowed your eyebrows. “Are you okay?”

The woman cleared her throat. “Everything’s perfectly fine. Your bodyguard here…” She gestured to Haknyeon. “Was granted a month of vacation to go back home.”

You immediately brightened at those words, bounding over to Haknyeon and hugging him tightly. “That’s great!” You exclaimed. “You deserve it. So much.”

Haknyeon smiled back but frowned afterward. “I’ll miss you though,” he whined.

“Hey, it’s only a month. Besides, you should enjoy yourself.” 

“…and,” the woman continued. “That will mean that Hyunjae will temporarily take his place as your personal bodyguard.” 

That was when you froze, going so silent you could hear a pin drop. You turned to her with your mouth agape and your heart fallen to the floor. “What.”

She only offered a measly smile while you could only stare in disbelief. Was this possibly your punishment for taking a nap during the meeting? Have you been chosen for torture on this planet? Why—

“Why couldn’t you choose anyone else? It could be anyone but him.” You glared at Hyunjae who also seemed surprised and agitated.

She pinched the bridge of her nose with a long sigh as if she expected this response. “Because Hyunjae knows more about you than any of the other bodyguards. He’s the best choice who is aptly strong and calm, especially for someone of your energy.”

“But you know we don’t get along,” you refuted. 

She frowned but eventually nodded, understanding your argument. “Your Highness, if you would really like to request a change then let me know. But if you were to keep your relationship with him strictly professional, then there should be no problems.”

“I…” You bit your lip. You wouldn’t lie and say you didn’t want to change, but you also hated the idea of being a burden, especially for someone who was so preoccupied with setting up the ball. Shutting your eyes with a wince, you groaned quietly in defeat. “Fine. I guess we can manage for a month.”

“Great!” She clapped enthusiastically while Haknyeon snorted in amusement. “I’ll be off now.”

Once she was gone, you could hear your now former bodyguard laugh, clearly enjoying the show. Then he stepped forward and turned to Hyunjae with a knowing look.

“What are you waiting for?” His tone was nothing but teasing. “Go stand by Y/n.”

Hyunjae stared at him, obviously annoyed before reluctantly going to your side. You looked up at him before rolling your eyes. He was awfully tall, which made it a lot harder to really argue with him.

“What a view,” Haknyeon laughed even louder. 

“I don’t want to do this either,” Hyunjae whispered, looking at you with a harsh demeanor.

“At least we agree on something.”

—

You stalked through the halls, your mood completely ruined. What exasperated you even more was the footsteps trailing behind you, belonging to your new temporary bodyguard, the one man that you despised.

You stopped abruptly and turned around.

“Can you just not follow me? I think I can manage on my own. I especially don’t want to be with you.”

He simply looked at you without budging. “You know I can’t do that, Your Highness.”

You sighed at his mocking tone, exasperated before turning around and beginning to walk again. Well, before you stopped abruptly once more, causing Hyunjae to almost bump into you. Something just dawned on you, leaving your chest seizing for air.

“Does that mean you’re my… escort for the ball?” You seriously contemplated somehow pushing back the ball until next month. There was no way it would be in two weeks when you would have to enter the ballroom with your hand on his arm.

He nodded wordlessly, obviously not happy about it either.

“God, I hate this,” you mumbled, leaning your head back. “You’re going to be the worst bodyguard ever.”

“And do you think I really consider that important?” He stared back at you condescendingly. 

“You–” Stepping forward, you completely forgot that there was still that broom on the floor. How come no one picked it up? Maybe you should have been more aware. Being the clumsy person you were, your foot quickly caught onto it, leaving you stumbling forward. This was why it was important you had a bodyguard following you around.

You were about to accept your fate of a broken nose until you felt a cool hand grasp your wrist that was flailing mid-air, holding you up. You blinked in surprise, looking up only for you to realize that you were alarmingly close to Hyunjae’s face. 

He didn’t seem at all fazed though, watching as you, on the other hand, were incredibly shocked over his sheer strength of being able to hold you up with one hand. 

“I wouldn’t advise stepping there.” If you looked closely, you could see the corners of his lips lift slightly at his own remark. “There’s a broom on the floor.”

You scoffed, pulling away harshly. “Thank you so much for the warning.”

“Anytime.” He faked a bow.

“Oh, you–” You paused before you would fall over again. “You know what? Just shut up. Let’s just not talk for a month.”

“Fine by me.” 

As you walked, you were surprised to hear that there were no footsteps behind you anymore. With curiosity getting the best of you, you turned around, only to see that he had stopped to pick up the broom and set it back up.

“Huh,” you breathed, slightly surprised.

(Hyunjae sighed, sitting down on the couch and throwing an arm over his eyes. He was exhausted and he had only followed you for an hour. How was he going to do this every day and for a month at that?

He heard a creak and the weight of someone else sitting beside him. Looking over, he was met with Haknyeon, again with a gloating expression. It seemed that he had brought his luggage over, already packed and ready to leave him with you. Alone.

“Excited?” The shorter grinned smugly.

“Don’t kid me,” Hyunjae sighed with a frown. “I honestly wished they would have requested another guard at this point. All I was supposed to do was guard the door, not follow them around all day.”

Haknyeon hummed thoughtfully before leaning back with him. “Can I ask you something?” When Hyunjae offered no response, the younger continued. “Why do you hate Y/n so much? What did they do to make you despise them that much?”

Hyunjae paused before letting out a low sigh. “Nothing. I just… I’ve had my fair share of royalties.” His mind flashed back to when he used to be in one of the lower ranks of the staff. He was never treated right, always pushed around and spoken to harshly by none other than the royal family who promised that they would protect him with all their being. Lies. He had always wanted to be a bodyguard. But in the process of becoming one, he realized just how cruel people can be.

And so, when he was actually promoted to be one, he already entered the position with low hopes and crushed dreams. He expected the exact same treatment from you.

“Y/n’s probably just the same.”

Haknyeon looked at him sympathetically, as if to tell solely through his eyes that he understood where he was coming from. “But Y/n’s different. I promise you that. After spending so much personal time with them, trust me when I say that they’re not like the others.”

Hyunjae could only shut his eyes before mumbling a quiet, “Enjoy your vacation. I’ll be suffering.”)

–

“Please stop staring,” you forced out. You knew that just the day before you had suggested not talking, but something about his… face as he looked at you through the reflection of your mirror bothered you so much to the point that you had to say something. His eyes were different than you expected as if he was almost interested in you getting ready for an outing.

But then, as obnoxious as he was, he faked a smile, leaning back against the wall. “I can’t do that, Your Highness. What if someone’s out there to hurt you?”

“That’s unlikely. So please stop whatever it is you’re doing.”

“I’m merely looking at you. Does that make you nervous?” 

Your face contorted with anger at his words. “Hyunjae!” You groaned, setting down your makeup brush with a loud thud and turning around to glare at him.

“What?” He muttered.

“This is just for one month.” You straightened and walked over to him. You tried to look somewhat intimidating but knowing that he was the one whose job was to protect you, it was a bit difficult. “Can’t you be the least bit tolerable? I don’t even know why you hate me so much.”

He stared at you wordlessly before looking away with his jaw clenched. “I have my reasons.”

You huffed. “Well if you would tell me, maybe we could have worked this out.” Your shoulders hurt with how tense they were as you began to walk backwards. But yet again, you tripped. This time, it was on the carpet—the fancy type that seemed impossible to walk on.

Unlike before though, you fell backwards. One day you were going to end up with a broken bone. Your life flashed before your eyes until you felt a strong hand wrap around your waist. 

Quickly, he pulled you up and right against his body. Without you realizing, you had planted your hands on his chest, creating the distance that was very minimized considering how firmly he was holding you. You could feel the wind get knocked out of you, out of breath as you stared at Hyunjae with wide eyes.

His eyes searched your features carefully. His expression was mostly the same except for how the harsh lines on his face had disappeared for some reason.

“I said you can’t get hurt.” His voice was also… less harsh.

You gulped as you lifted your hands off his chest. But some part of you kept your fingertips there, feeling his heartbeat drum against them. Your cheeks felt warm as you stared at him wordlessly, trying to come up with some sort of response.

“I…” Your voice wavered. “I wish you were bad at your job.”

And to your surprise, he smirked. “Oh? Are you saying that I’m good at protecting you?”

Your hands wandered down to his which still grasped your waist. You squeezed it, reminding him to let go because, for some reason, he forgot. He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“Do not put words in my mouth.” And when he still didn’t let go, you grabbed hold of it instead, pulling it off and ignoring the spark you felt at his touch.

—

It would no longer be Haknyeon following you around the whole day. It would be him. Oh, how you hated him. You hated your clumsiness as well, considering that he kept on saving you by holding you with the sheer strength of just one arm.

Refreshed after a good night’s sleep, you opened your door before jumping at the sight of Hyunjae standing before you. Yet again, you were reminded of how annoyingly tall he was as he stepped aside for you.

“Your Highness,” he greeted with a lazy voice.

You stared at him silently before turning on your heel and heading down the hall. But no matter how fast you walked and no matter how many turns you took, he remained behind you.

(Hyunjae followed silently as you traversed through the never-ending halls. He had never seen a royal member willingly walk through the whole castle before, or even leave their section at all. 

He watched, intrigued and curious as you turned every corner, occasionally knocking on doors and peeking in. You seemed to be having conversations with whoever resided inside. That was what perplexed him more. You were in the section of the castle where the staff stayed.

If he walked closer or you would slow down slightly, he could hear you mumbling to yourself, as if to make a to-do list.

“Make… soup…no!…she’s allergic.” 

He couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow in pleasant surprise.)

“What’s the rush?” He remarked, just as you were finished speaking with one of the maids. 

You glanced back at him. “I have much to do. If you don’t want to follow, then go as you please.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I can’t do that?”

You stared at him for a moment before sighing. At least he was dedicated. “Then hurry up you… turtle.”

You must have been dreaming because why did his lips lift up into a smile for a second? And how come you heard a chuckle?

And then, to your slight shock, he sped up so that he was walking by your side. Even if you tried to confuse him by taking shortcuts, he continued to accompany you.

“You—“

“Just doing my job, Your Highness.”

You rolled your eyes at the way he always addressed you.

—

First, he followed you to the kitchen. He guarded the doorway, as always leaning against the wall. 

You felt his eyes on you as you moved past each cabinet, pulling out ingredients for your most beloved specialty: pancakes! You knew the measurements by heart and soon enough, the batter was already mixed and being poured into a pan.

You could see him tilt his head in the corner of your eye.

“What are you cooking for?” He spoke up. “You do know we have chefs for that.”

“I know that.” You flipped the pancake successfully for once. “Just… one of the staff fell sick so I wanted to make her something.”

His eyes widened slightly as he straightened up at your words. It seemed like something you said had shocked him, though you had no idea what. And when you glanced back at him, you realized that his stiff demeanor had slightly softened. Was it because you were simply cooking for a staff member? Was that so odd?

Brushing off the hair that fell over your face, you jerkily turned back to the pancakes before they burned. It was silent for a while yet you couldn’t help but shake off the feeling of Hyunjae staring at you as if trying to decipher what you were doing. 

(Hyunjae watched and watched, yet continued to become more and more perplexed. You were spending your energy cooking for a staff member rather than ridiculing them for every mistake they made? His eyes followed you around the room, completely shamelessly as you moved back and forth, making what looked like fluffy pancakes.

But slowly, his gaze moved from your movements to, well, your features. Something about how you looked was almost mesmerizing. Gone were the prim and proper, perfectly hair-sprayed styles. Instead, your hair was messy, falling over your eyes constantly which he couldn’t help but hum with amusement. 

You were also void of any heavier makeup, allowing him to see your features more clearly. Your eyes were focused yet shone without any glitter and your lips… pursed but… 

He awkwardly cleared his throat. What was he thinking? He wasn’t supposed to look at you in that way.

Luckily, you hadn’t noticed his staring.)

He was staring. He was definitely staring. 

Why? You weren’t too sure. Maybe he was plotting a plan that would lead to your demise. Typical of him. But, you were too focused on cooking that you decided to pay it no mind, hurriedly brushing your hair out of your face once again. 

A few minutes later, you glanced up, solely for the reason of shooting him a glare. A bit immature, but that was how you two usually regarded each other anyway. But, to your surprise, he was nowhere to be seen. And you expected to feel a sense of relief, but for some reason, something shot through your heart.

You were alone—without him to catch you. You gulped nervously and hesitantly turned back to your pancakes. Just as you finished the second-to-last batch, you felt a warm presence behind you. Before you could turn around, a hand brushed against the nape of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. And for some reason, you could immediately tell it was Hyunjae.

“What are you doing?”

He didn’t respond. Instead, you felt another hand grasp your hair, pulling it up and away from your face. He leaned closer from behind, peering at the side of your face to make sure he didn’t miss any strands. Suddenly, the room felt ridiculously hotter than before. You stayed utterly still and completely unsure of what to do. 

He was tying your hair for you. 

Once you felt your hair being fastened, you tried to whip around but you felt a gentle grip on your shoulders that made you face the counter once again. “Turn back around,” he muttered with a chiding tone. Bewildered, you stared at the wall, your heart pounding. Your hands gripped the side of the counter as you shut your eyes and cringed.

And if you thought he was done, he certainly wasn’t. His hands had left your hair and wandered down to your waist. Though he didn’t completely grasp it, that brief brush with his gentle hand sent you spiraling. You felt your apron tightening as he tied it again. It must have come loose earlier. Still, that didn’t answer your question as to why he was doing this all in the first place.

(Hyunjae did not enjoy this. He certainly wasn’t biting back a smirk as he noticed your reddening ears and your hands holding onto the counter for dear life. 

And just for a bit more fun, as he tightened the knot of the apron, he yanked you backward, sending you stumbling and falling back against his chest where he kept you steady, his hand ghosting just over your hip. He could tell you were trying to look angry as you looked up at him with a frown that looked more nervous and confused than intimidating. 

Slowly, he lost his battle with holding back a smile. But just before you could catch him, he leaned toward your ear and whispered, “You wouldn’t want to ruin your clothes would you?”

You gulped and he could see how flushed your cheeks were. 

“Why would you care?” You replied.

Hyunjae blinked and he quickly leaned away from you. He steadied you but created that distance that the two of you were most familiar with. Why did he care?)

Your mind was befuddled. The two of you were supposed to be arguing, throwing insults, and doing everything that had to do with hatred. But what was that? That was nothing like what you two were supposed to do. That was…

You shook your head out of your trance. He was probably just messing with you, trying to find your weakness to use it against you in the future. 

“Don’t startle me like that again,” you said shakily, flexing your hand nervously. You turned back to your unfinished batter and picked up the whisk, beginning to stir its contents. You would have been done with this already if it weren’t for his… assistance.

“Can I assist you once more?” He asked, this time appearing at your side. Your gaze hardened as you turned to him. Your hand came up to mindlessly swipe the hair off your face, only to find nothing because the very man right next to you had already tied it up. You scoffed and tilted your chin up, yet he only gazed back without emotion–except for that small bit of amusement behind the twinkle of his eyes.

“Fine, if you would be so kind.”

Hyunjae reached over, taking–prying, because you were that stubborn–the whisk from your hand and moved the bowl over. He began to mix and to your large dislike, he was much more efficient when doing so. You set your hands on the counter and watched. You tried to keep your eyes solely on his obnoxiously handsome face or on the batter being mixed in the bowl, but instead, your gaze wandered to his… arms.

Bodyguards always wore simple black and white suits–easy to move around, yet form-fitting enough to look formal. And that was what bothered you so much. Why, under his suit, could you see the muscles of his arm flex so clearly as he used the mixed? And why, with his suit on, did you start imagining it off–leaving him only in a white dress shirt and a loose tie? Your mouth went dry.

Your thoughts were rudely interrupted by his breathy laugh. You looked up, only to be met with a small smirk, barely visible, but enough to leave you embarrassed anyway.

“Eyes on the bowl, not my arm.” He nodded towards the bowl, already fully mixed for a while now, which you didn’t notice.

You suppressed a groan, elbowing him so that you could finish cooking. “Shut up, Hyunjae. You’re distracting me.”

“In what way?”

“You’re face is unbearable.”

“Hm, could have sworn it was my arms.”

–

After dropping off the pancakes to various staff member rooms that quickly filled with grateful smiles, you led Hyunjae out to the garden. He trailed behind you as you wandered the various, intricately carved trails, searching for the prettiest and brightest flowers. When you found the perfect patch, you immediately knelt down, slightly adjusting your hair. Carefully, you picked the flowers, bunching them into a basket.

Just like before,  it was silent. Well, up until Hyunjae decided to start a conversation again, as weird as it was. You would never get used to it.

“Your Highness.” His voice was softer.

You squinted up at him. “What?”

He gestured to the flowers being held in your hand. “Your hands will get dirty.”

“I know,” you sighed. You never particularly enjoyed the feeling. “But I noticed that some of the vases were empty. I’m going to refill them again.”

When there was no response, you looked up, only to see Hyunjae staring at you in surprise. His lips parted and his head was tilted ever so slightly. You noticed he did that often when he was confused. Almost like a… puppy. 

(Hyunjae’s chest felt tight. You had specific workers to fill up those vases and cook pancakes yet you… did those tasks on your own accord. Maybe Haknyeon wasn’t all too wrong. Maybe…)

You yelped. Immediately, Hyunjae was kneeling down, taking your arm, and pulling you up to stand. “Are you okay?”

You searched his eyes with bewilderment. “I-”

His touch was gentle and careful as he brought your hands up for examination. “You should have used gloves, Your Highness. I knew you would get hurt.” His thumb pressed comfortingly into your palm. 

“No!” You blurted out, causing him to jump. He looked up from one of your hands, completely missing the fact that he was so close that if he leaned any closer, he would be kissing the back of it. “I’m not hurt.”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You’re not?”

“No,” you argued with a scowl. “Did you not hear the loud thunder a few moments ago? It startled me that’s all.”

“Thunder?” He furrowed his eyebrows. And then he looked at you like something dawned on him. “Thunder,” he breathed. “You need to go back inside.”

“Wha– why?” You exclaimed, already being dragged down the trail. You stumbled after his strides as you silently cursed his long legs. Soon enough though, your question was answered with the sudden pour of rain over your heads. It was so heavy that it began to seep through your clothes, sending a shudder through your whole body. And that meant that Hyunjae, who was holding onto your hand, would feel it tremble.

He stopped abruptly and turned back around to face you. 

“What are you doing?” You asked hurriedly. “We still have a long way to…” Your voice trailed off once you realized what exactly he was doing. He was taking off the jacket of his suit, leaving him only in his white dress shirt and a messed-up tie. Huh. Didn’t you just imagine that back in the kitchen?

He stepped forward and he held the jacket up over your head, acting as an umbrella. “Ready, Your Highness?” Yet again, his face lacked any emotion.

“Yes,” you breathed. The two of you avoided running so as to not slip on the forming mud, but everything felt incredibly fast-paced anyway. Hyunjae, who continued to shield you from the rain, kept on stealing glances at you to make sure you were okay. Everytime you caught him, you would scrunch your nose and silently gesture for him to focus on getting back.

As you got closer, it was you who decided to steal a glance. You inhaled sharply when you realized that most of Hyunjae’s body was soaked by rain. His wet hair fell over his eyes and his shirt stuck to his skin. He was keeping you dry while he…

You hadn’t even noticed that you two were indoors already. Hyunjae let out an exasperated sigh, brushing a hand through his soaked hair.

“Did you not check the weather before you—“

You ignored his words, instead storming over and smacking him plainly on his shoulder. He stared at you, clearly unimpressed. He never seemed to flinch. 

You frowned, looking around for a towel, only for there to be none in sight. With a groan, you turned back to him. “You’ll catch a cold, you idiot.”

“I’ve had worse,” he replied.

“Like what?”

“Like when I had to work while having a fever.”

You gasped and your frown deepened. “That’s so mean, who made you do that? I must have a talk with them.”

“I don’t think you must. Not when the person is none other than your own cousin.”

You felt your heart drop to your stomach. You were always aware that Hyunjae wasn’t always a bodyguard. But to learn how he was treated previously…

You huffed and shook your head. “Cousin or not, that won’t change anything. If he treated you unfairly, then he deserves to be ridiculed.”

Hyunjae looked at you yet again, in surprise, his eyes slightly widened. So there’s finally more emotion in his face. “There’s no need, Your Highness. You do know that you’re supposed to hate me, right?”

You swallowed thickly. It hit you then. The two of you… hadn’t insulted each other in a while. It was weird but not something you were against.

“I don’t…” You sighed. “You’ve helped me a lot recently, so I— I don’t know. I want to repay you.”

“Okay,” he whispered. You looked up, trying not to pay attention to how attractive your bodyguard looked when soaked with rain. He was a lot more muscular than you thought, considering his shirt was see-through. “But this is my job, Your Highness. There’s nothing to repay.”

You grumbled. “I get to decide that.”

And to your pleasant surprise, he laughed. It was a nice sound and an even nicer change of pace with his usual stoic personality. 

“But thank you.” He smiled softly. “I appreciate it, Your Highness.”

You couldn’t help but smile back. You looked down to examine your picked flowers. But then you slapped your hand over your face.

“Ah, my basket. I forgot it.”

“Would you like me to get it for you?”

You glanced out the window. The rain was still pouring. “Don't be ridiculous.”

“I wasn’t. You spent a lot of time picking those flowers. I can get them for you.”

Your cheeks flushed as you looked away. You never thought he would go to such lengths for… you. Then again, it was his job. But it felt different either way. It felt like your heart was racing.

“Shut up,” you muttered. “Go dry yourself off instead.”

“Of course, Your Highness.” He tilted his head with a teasing smile. 

And for some reason, that smile and that soft gaze left you breathless.

—

After Hyunjae was all dry—now only wearing just a dress shirt and tie this time (much to your quiet enjoyment)—he followed you to your last stop of the day. The library. It was large and filled with rows upon rows of books that almost everyone couldn’t understand. You weren’t any different. You simply enjoyed the peace and quiet of the atmosphere, where you could crochet to your heart’s content.

You sat on a chair and tried to focus, but your mind was distracted—distracted by your bodyguard who was standing by your side silently. When Haknyeon accompanied you, he would start conversations or try to read one of the books. To say this was uncomfortable was a huge understatement.

You set down the needles and patted the chair next to you.

“Do you want to sit down?” You looked up at him. He gazed at you before reluctantly sitting down, facing you slightly.

There definitely was progress in your relationship with him but it was still painfully awkward. Every time the two of you would make eye contact, it would quickly break. Fidgeting hands, darting eyes, shifting in your seat—it was just so graceless.

“I’m not that bad,” you whispered, facing him with a soft smile. “You can talk to me.”

Hyunjae leaned back in his chair, stretching slightly. “I guess you’re not. But hm, I’m not too sure.”

“Hey.” You glared. This time though, your glare was playful and you even struggled to hold back a smile. “Say anything. Start a conversation. I promise I won’t bite.”

He huffed out a quiet laugh. “I never thought you would bite. You practically trip over air every time I look at you.”

You stuttered and your cheeks quickly started to feel warm as you quickly stared down at your lap. “I– I don’t mean to…” When you looked back up, you saw Hyunjae staring at you with sparkles of amusement in his eyes. “You’re making fun of me.”

“Sorry,” he laughed with clearly no trace of an apology. “Fine, I’ll talk.” He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his thighs as he gestured to your crocheted piece of work. Which hopefully, he could tell it was a scarf. “Who’s this for?”

You stared at him, slightly confused. But then you realized, oh, he had witnessed you cooking and picking flowers for others. He must have assumed you were making this for someone as well. You shyly shook your head, gripping your work in progress tightly.

“Oh,” you laughed nervously, tearing your gaze away with embarrassment. “It’s just for me actually. This is my favorite hobby.” Your voice gradually became quieter and quieter. The only person who was well aware of your love of crocheting was Haknyeon. So to share it with Hyunjae is…

He hummed quietly and you could tell he was interested, rather than judging. He didn’t say anything after, instead choosing to watch you crochet. Usually, you were great at crocheting. Amazing actually! But something about his silent gaze on your hands left them shaking causing you to make a lot more mistakes than usual.

After your nth mistake, you sighed and placed the unfinished scarf in your lap with a frustrated groan. You needed to do something–anything–to steer his eyes away from your hands. It wasn’t uncomfortable per se, but it was… nerve-wracking. For some odd reason, you felt your heart beat faster than usual.

Abruptly, you turned to him. “Do you want to learn?”

He froze as he eyed your intricate work. Then he shook his head softly. “This isn’t my type of thing.”

“Then what do you like? Or are you just a boring guy?”

He rolled his eyes. “I like to workout.”

You scoffed. “That’s such a you thing to enjoy.” Except, you didn’t make that statement just because you knew he was a bodyguard and had to be strong enough anyway. Really, you said it because you could not, for your life, get the image of him, rain-soaked with a tight shirt that clung to his body out of your mind.

He was quiet for a moment before he tilted his chin downwards, looking you straight in the eyes. You gulped nervously. Why was he staring at you so intently? When you looked closely, you could see a small teasing smile appear on his lips.

“Then how else do I catch you when you fall?” He paused and his voice lowered. “Your Highness.”

Now, it felt like your heart was in your throat. You cleared it desperately as you quickly turned away, hoping you were fast enough to hide your reddening cheeks. 

–

“Can’t I do something?” You complained. You twirled around and wandered through the various set-up tables. There were staff members everywhere, intricately putting up centerpieces and making sure that every tablecloth had not a single wrinkle, every plate was without a singular smudge and every flower was placed perfectly.

The head organizer, who was busy checking things off her important-looking clipboard, glanced at you before shaking her head in disapproval.

“No, you can’t.”

“Why?” You gave your best pleading look but she wasn’t even looking at you.

“This is our job, Your Highness. We don’t want to bother you.” 

“But–” She was already long gone, chasing down a guy who accidentally put a napkin backward.

Biting your lip, you glanced around and your eyes quickly landed on Hyunjae who was nearby, helping move things around for the upcoming ball. It was drawing near and you still weren’t completely sure about walking in with Hyunjae on your arm.

You hurried over to him and he was quick to notice you approaching. 

“Can I help? Please?” 

He looked you over. You were dressed in your more expensive attire which would make it harder for you to move around and help. But you still wanted to try anyway. He sighed and shook his head, much to your demise.

“No, Your Highness. I can’t afford you getting hurt.” You pursed your lips. But, before you could come up with some sort of snarky response, he suddenly leaned in. “Besides, I don’t think you’re strong enough,” he whispered before pulling away with a mischievous smile.

You shut your eyes and leaned your head back, annoyed. “I definitely am.”

He raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. Instead, he walked past you to pull out one of the nearby chairs. “Then sit here for a moment. We’ll find something to do after I’m done.”

You nodded and sat down. You tried to look around but quickly found that your head began to hurt the more you tried to comprehend the chaos that was called setting up for a ball. And so, you decided to turn your focus back to the only person you could mostly comprehend.

Hyunjae was busy lifting heavy boxes. His sleeves were rolled up and his hair was slightly messy. But despite his disheveled look, he certainly was a very attractive man, you came to realize. Your eyes widened, as you looked him over. You studied his prince-like features and his broad build. You hadn’t even noticed that your whole face began to feel warm. 

You coughed awkwardly and quickly turned your gaze away. You focused instead on the utensils on the table nearby. What were you thinking? Staring at Hyunjae like that? 

Adjusting the fork countless times quickly became boring. You bit your lip and winced. 

It wouldn’t hurt to take one last glance, right? 

Slowly, very slowly, you turned your head, only to find that Hyunjae was nowhere to be seen. 

But then you heard a shift next to you and you startled, turning and looking down. And of course, there he was, kneeling before you. He was out of breath but god, he looked so handsome. His eyes were gentle and his lips lifted slightly as he looked up to you.

“Enjoying the view, Your Highness?”

Your lungs seized and you felt yourself go dizzy. As if you were stung by his words, you abruptly stood up and quickly turned away. You were sure you weren’t being that obvious... 

You heard him laugh fondly from behind as he stepped in front of you. No matter how many times you tried to avoid his eyes, he would bend down and force you to look anyway.

“You weren’t supposed to notice,” you muttered quietly.

“I guess.” He nodded. “But I like your eyes on me.”

If you weren’t at your breaking point then, you were now. You cringed with an incoherent sound and tried to walk away but you felt a gentle hand take yours. You whipped around, only to meet his expectant look.

“You said you wanted to find something to do, right?”

You sighed and reluctantly let him lead you through the ballroom. Hyunjae easily found a table that still needed to be set up while you… you were more focused on that whole situation from before. Every time you thought about it, you had to look away with reddening cheeks.

You glanced over to the empty spot in the middle of the ballroom which was designated for dancing. “Do you know what kind of dance there will be?”

Hyunjae looked at you as if you were joking. “The slow dance, is it not?”

“Still, that’s disappointing. I want something more fun.”

“Funny that you think there’s anything remotely fun at these types of royal events.” He abruptly paused and looked at you regretfully. He was staring at you like a deer in headlights over the fact that he just said that to you, a royal member. “Uh, I didn’t mean—“

You burst out laughing. “Don’t worry, I get what you mean.” You grinned mischievously. “We should leave early if that’s what you would like. I know a spot.” You led him out of the ballroom and began to walk through the halls. 

“That’s up to you.” He looked at you in amusement, easily catching up with your fast strides. “Not me.”

You pretended to think like you didn’t already have your decision in mind. “Then… I say we escape as soon as we can.” You gave him a playful wink.

To your surprise, Hyunjae smiled. It was a wide one this time, unlike the subtle or teasing ones from before. You tilted your head, slightly endeared. “Has anyone told you that you have a nice smile? You should do it more.”

“As you wish, Your Highness.”

You grimaced. “This is weird.”

“What’s weird?”

“You being so… obedient,” you whined. “I was just getting used to your insults.”

He huffed, slightly flustered. “I… I guess it’s because I’ve been wrong about you, that’s all.”

You widened your eyes and looked at him. “Really? How so?”

His gaze lowered. He looked almost embarrassed. “It was nothing too serious. I just… had past experiences when I wasn’t a bodyguard yet. I assumed you would be the same.” 

Your wide eyes immediately softened. You already knew who he was talking about and you never once agreed with them.

Your voice was quiet. “Is that why you hated me all this time?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “And I sincerely apologize.”

You gave him a soft smile and lightly bumped into his shoulder, making him look up from the floor. He still wore an ashamed face but you could see that his stern eyes had melted. “It’s okay. I’m sorry too.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“What do you mean?” You snorted. “I argued with you too. I should have tried to understand you first.”

He leaned closer to you as the exit came into view. “And I should have told you earlier. We weren’t the most mature, huh?”

You laughed loudly and you didn’t know what came over you but you suddenly grabbed onto his arm as you two walked through the door and out to the private garden. This one was different than the one you were in previously. It was closed off by glass walls, rather than out in the open. But most of all, it was romantic and even more beautiful with dim lighting and colorful flowers lining a trail.

Holding onto his firm arm, you felt a sudden sense of peace. You felt like you were truly safe and protected.

Who knew that the man that you would refuse to look at would become your bodyguard who made you smile more times than you expected?

He stared quietly at your arms that were looped around his and he cleared his throat nervously. You could see that he had even straightened up and became more alert.

You smirked at him teasingly. “Why, do you feel more important now?”

He rolled his eyes fondly but shook his head. “It’s not me. It’s you. I feel like you’re the most important person at the moment.”

You choked on air and promptly turned to face forward, afraid that Hyunjae would notice your embarrassment. The two of you silently walked through the garden, admiring the various flowers. 

“And just so you’re aware,” you started. “I hope that you feel comfortable with me. I promise that I won’t treat you like how they did. I hope you can trust me…” Your voice trailed off once you noticed Hyunjae staring down at you with a stupidly handsome smile. You furrowed your eyebrows. “What?”

“Nothing.” Despite his response, he wouldn’t stop looking at you. Something about how he always stared at you and never failed to look away made you feel your own pulse in your ears. 

The two of you arrived at the center of the garden. Yet again, it was beautiful. But what you found most beautiful was the light feeling in your chest as you leaned against Hyunjae.

“Hyunjae.”

“Hm?” His gaze was warm even in the cooler atmosphere.

You eyed the empty space around you. There was no one else around. Just you and him, standing in the center of a garden that sparkled with dew. “Do you know how to dance?”

He gave you a skeptical look. “Why do you ask?”

“You’re my escort to the ball, of course!” You giggled. “You have to slow dance with me at some point.”

There was a slight blush that appeared on his cheeks. “That never… crossed my mind,” he said.

You gave him a teasing look. “So you don’t know?” When he didn’t give you a response, you couldn’t help but laugh, hopelessly endeared. He was always the tough one, but it seemed that when it came to the small romantic things, he was clueless. The more you noticed just how flustered he had become, the harder you laughed. You doubled over before almost falling straight into his chest. 

Two hands grasped your waist, holding you steady. You were still laughing but it had quieted down. Hyunjae couldn’t even look you in the eye yet he continued to hold you from falling.

“Don’t be so… clumsy, Your Highness,” he muttered, tripping over his words slightly at how close you were to him. “Not knowing how to dance shouldn’t be so funny to you,” he later grumbled quietly to himself.

You smiled and straightened up. You moved one of your hands to his shoulder as the other held onto one of his, pulling it away from your waist. “I don’t think it’s funny. I think it’s cute.”

Hyunjae blinked before clearing his throat and turning away. But then, without a warning, you began to lead him through the basic slow dance. He slowly looked back at you in surprise.

“We can simply sway side to side,” you explained gently. Then, you eyed where his hand was still holding onto his waist. “And don’t let go.”

Hyunjae was silent before he adjusted his hand to yours, intertwining your fingers. Then, he whispered quietly, “I was never planning to.”

You laughed bashfully. There was no music–just the shuffle of your clothes and the distant ruffle of nearby flowers and bushes. But you could hear it in your ears, feel it in your fingertips, see it through your eyes, the fondness and admiration that you both began to share.

Hyunjae was still a bit awkward with dancing. Sometimes, he would stumble or tighten his hold on your waist. Every so often, he would whisper a small apology.

You hummed fondly and shifted just a bit closer. He inhaled quietly and stared down at you with fluttering eyes. But despite his distractions, he slowly became more and more confident in slow dancing with you, even pulling you closer so that you could rest your cheek on his chest. 

Except there was something else you could hear. The loud beating of his heart. It was fast and it was almost pounding. You smiled softly.

“You’re quite handsome when you’re like this, Hyunjae.” You pulled away to look up at him. He bit back a smile and shook his head. 

“And if I may tell the truth…” His voice lowered as if he truly only wanted you to hear what he was about to say. “You look truly stunning right now, Your Highness.”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. He smiled smugly. And then, like a perfect harmony, the two of you started laughing at the same time. The sparkles in his eyes and his bright smile perfectly mirrored. And you were sure that the pounding of his heart did as well.

Suddenly though, you were interrupted by your own yawn. His gaze looked you over in slight concern. “Would you like to stop now?” He looked up and out to the evening sky, littered with faint stars.

“Mhm,” you sighed, glancing down. “These shoes are not comfortable for dancing. They hurt.” Slowly, as if you didn’t want to let go–you truly didn’t–you stepped away from him. Your waist still felt warm with his touch and your hand tingly from his palm.

Then, he leaned down to look you in the eye. “Would you like me to carry you?”

Almost instantly, your mind flashed to an image in your mind. You quickly shook it away with a growing blush on your cheeks.

“No! I’m fine,” you blurted out, making your way back to the door. You could already feel his teasing smile and so, despite your uncomfortable shoes, you began to run down the hallway. But yet again, he was your bodyguard. He would always be following you.

“The offer’s still on the table,” he called out. 

“No!”

–

You shifted nervously as you stood in front of your bedroom door. You played nervously with your hair as you glanced down at your formal wear. You never expected to be so anxious for a ball until you were dressed up in something so sparkly and stunning that you began to doubt if you even worth wearing such a thing. 

With a shaky sigh, your hand hovered over the doorknob. Hyunjae would be standing outside and you didn’t know what to think. All that really was on your mind were the possibilities. Would he smile at the sight of you? Would he look you over? Would he… say something?

But when you opened to the door, you faced an empty hallway. It was bustling downstairs with everyone preparing the food and drinks to be served. But upstairs, it was quiet. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and stepped out. You glanced on either side, only for Hyunjae to be nowhere in sight.

But then, there was one other room that had its light on. The library. You slowly approached it and opened the door. There Hyunjae was–or specifically his back as he seemed to be working on something. As soon as he heard your footsteps, he hurriedly put it away and stood up quickly.

“There are you are,” you breathed in relief. “I was looking for you.” Your gaze travelled across his whole body. He looked handsome in his suit and ever so charming with his hair done up precisely–except for that one piece that stuck out, giving him a more youthful and playful look. You felt like you could just swoon at the moment.

You hadn’t even noticed his absolutely smitten look as his eyes wandered over you as well.

“Well don’t you look beautiful,” he muttered quietly, staring at you with a soft gaze.

Immediately, you were sputtering out sounds that didn’t form a single word. You tried to bring your hands up to cover your face but he took them and set them down gently. You frowned at his knowing smile.

“Why? Are you shy?”

You scoffed, trying to play it cool. It obviously wasn’t working considering how he chuckled quietly. “I miss when you hated me.”

He leaned in, brushing a thumb across your cheek. “I don’t. Because then, I’d miss seeing your smile.”

“Sh-shut up, you stupid flirt,” you whined, pulling away and making a beeline to the door. 

As the two of you walked toward the ballroom, you turned to ask Hyunjae something, only to find that he was deep in thought about something. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips pulled into a small frown.

“Is there something bothering you?”

He startled slightly and glanced at you before immediately denying, “Nothing to concern you, Your Highness.”

“Please tell me.” You smiled. “I might be able to help.”

He eyed you skeptically before letting out a defeated sigh. “It’s foolish. I think I have a crush on someone. And… I don’t know what to do about it.”

You nodded. “So it’s that type of situation… then why don’t you confess?” When he stared at you like you were crazy, you laughed, completely unfazed. “Just get it out there.”

“Easier said than done.” And you didn’t know why but the way he looked at you as he said those words was so… different. His gaze was full of longing, you realized. But why at you? “I don’t think I can do that.”

“Hmm…” You bit your lip as you pondered. “Then until you’re ready to tell them, continue to take care and protect them in the meantime.”

He gave you a soft smile and you gasped quietly when you felt your hand being placed on his arm. He held you close to his side as you two faced the entrance to the ball. You could already hear the bustle of guests and the clink of wine glasses inside. Hyunjae turned to look at you with a reassuring smile. You would think that you didn’t need it considering you were so used to these events. But really, it was your hand on his arm that made you feel nervous.

“Ready?” He interrupted your thoughts.

The hushed whispers and interested murmurs were deafening to your ears as the doors opened. You blinked profusely as the lights came shining upon the two of you. Once your eyes adjusted, your heart raced at the faces of awe at the sight of you and Hyunjae, walking into the ballroom with your hand on his arm.

“Is that a prince?” You could hear one mutter in admiration.

“They look like the perfect couple…”

You grinned and looked up to Hyunjae. He gave you a slightly forced smile. You could tell he was nervous yet he still remained protective over you, holding you close to his side.

The two of you wandered out of the spotlight and began to join the other guests. You tried your hardest to ignore the looks of others. They were always gossiping and always had something to say. Instead, you chose to focus on Hyunjae.

Hyunjae.

You could sigh dreamily like one of those characters in the romance books you used to read. How could a bodyguard be so… prince-like? 

“Your Highness?”

You shook your head out of your trance. “Hyunjae?”

“How are you doing on this beautiful night?” He smiled, bowing down politely. You burst out laughing. The two of you had been together for the past twenty minutes yet now, he decided to act like this. He tilted his head teasingly. “I saw you were a bit distracted.”

“Hm?” You grinned knowingly. “Distracted? By what?”

“Me,” he whispered into your ear. 

“Really?” You stepped closer, reaching your hands to fix his collar. It was perfectly ironed already but you relished in the way his ears tinted red when your fingertips grazed his neck. Then you looked up and straight into his eyes. You could hear his breath hitch. “Is it that obvious?” You whispered, with a teasing smile. 

You didn’t care if there were hundreds of guests surrounding you, possibly staring at the two of you flirting. All that you could see was Hyunjae and only him. 

“It is,” he muttered, quickly regaining his composure. “But I’m no better. You distract me all the same.” 

His hands were gentle as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. His eyes wandered over your features and then down to your whole body. He didn’t say anything but through his soft gaze, you could read what his mind was thinking like a book.

Pretty.

Then he stepped away. For a moment you felt disappointed until you saw him holding a hand out for you to take.

“May I have this dance?” He bowed slightly, looking up at you with expectant eyes. It didn’t help that the one hair strand still adorably stuck out like a puppy’s hair would.

“Of course,” you giggled, taking his hand. He smiled fondly as he led you to the dance area. Seamlessly, the two of you blended in with the other couples, slow dancing with lovesick smiles.

Hyunjae held you tenderly by the waist and his hand fit with yours perfectly. Just a look at his handsome face was enough to leave you breathless. He seemed like he was incredibly skilled in holding eye contact with his soft gaze that never left yours. You on the other hand… were not faring very well.

You bit your lip, struggling to look him in the eye. Why was he making you so nervous? Why did his hand on your waist make you feel jittery? And why…

“Look at me,” he whispered, grabbing your attention.

You snapped your head up. “It’s hard to.” 

He chuckled. “Isn’t slow dancing about trusting your partner? Do you not trust me?”

“I do.”

“Then look at me,” he repeated with a teasing voice. “I like when you do.”

You had to resist the urge to shut your eyes in embarrassment. You swallowed nervously. When you said you trusted him, you meant it. You allowed him to lead you throughout the ballroom—allowed him to guide you through the several people you could’ve bumped into. But instead, he kept you safe. He protected you.

“Your Highness.”

“Hm?”

He gave you a slightly embarrassed look as he glanced around. You couldn’t help but think it was cute how fast his flirty demeanor could fall. “If I may be honest, I do feel a bit out of place here.”

Your heart sank. It was understandable how he was still hesitant, especially with what he had confided in you recently. “Then please, focus on me just like you want me on you.”

His hand tightened on yours. “I already am.” He gave you an earnest smile. You smiled back. 

The two of you were lost in each other’s eyes, naturally moving to the calming yet romantic music that surrounded you. Your heart beat faster than the pace of the violin but you didn’t care, knowing that Hyunjae wasn’t any different. You knew because of when you laid your head on his chest that time in the garden.

But, like a record scratch, you heard your name from behind you, spoken by a snarky voice.

“What’s their name, Y/n?” A man spoke to another. You could tell by his tone that he would have nothing good to say. “They aren’t even all that special. And they were the only reason why I came to this ball.”

Hyunjae’s face hardened as he glanced behind you, already pinpointing the two men talking about you. You stared up at him with wide eyes.

“Have you seen the way they act?” The other griped. “So… improper and nothing like a royalty.”

You gulped and looked to Hyunjae. His jaw was clenched and his hand on your waist had tightened. Though, it was never enough to hurt.

Suddenly, the music was too loud. Your feet hurt and the chatter of others was painfully blaring. But most of all, it was the two men’s voices that scratched your eardrums the most. You two were still dancing but it had slowed down.

“I’d still take them out on a date,” The other laughed mockingly. “But only to inherit their fortune.” And god, how their cackles stung your very soul.

You gasped and furrowed your eyebrows. Hyunjae kept you from ever facing them, always switching the direction so your back was turned. But he was mad, you could tell–furious to be exact. Then, he looked down at you and his gaze softened at your hurt expression. 

And like something snapped in him, he let go of your waist and pulled you around so that you were right behind him. “Stay here with me,” he whispered. He shielded you protectively as he walked over to the two men, standing near the drink bar, swirling their glasses obnoxiously with their even more irritating smiles.

“Hyunjae–”

“We can hear your loud voices from here,” Hyunjae spoke condescendingly. “I hope that you’re aware of that.” The two men jumped and stared at him. You couldn’t help but marvel over how Hyunjae so easily towered over them. One of them was already cowering, backing away while the other huffed stubbornly.

“And who might you be?” The man gave him a twisted smile.

You peeked out from Hyunjae’s side and answered for him, “My bodyguard.”

And that seemed to be what did it for the man. His eyes widened and his voice stuttered. “Y-your Highness! What a pleasant surprise!” He laughed nervously, glancing around with fear.

Hyunjae tilted his head and he stepped forward, further towering over him. His broad shoulders loomed like a shadow that was awfully intimidating yet… attra–

“Say anything about them again and I will personally do anything to ruin your life,” he muttered with a low voice. Your heart skipped a beat as you tightened your hand on his.

“What can you do?” The man lifted his head high which frankly, didn’t do much. You could tell by how his hands shook that he was terrified. “I’m a prince. And you’re just a lowly bodyguard.”

You winced and tried to pull Hyunjae away. You didn’t want him to get hurt again, not after you promised him that he would be treated right. But instead, Hyunjae stayed where he was as his jaw clenched.

“A bodyguard whose job is to protect them. Something that you clearly cannot do,” Hyunjae replied, looking over the prince with an unimpressed look. “So, I don’t see the problem here.” That was when he turned around and led you away. Or, at least tried to, until the man called out again with a loud voice.

“You’re protecting someone who barely acts like a proper royal member,” he growled. “Y/n doesn’t deserve–”

You felt your hand being let go, causing you to gasp and whip around. Soon enough, you were met with the sight of Hyunjae, his hands grasped around his collar, so tight that his knuckles were white. The man now was clearly full of fear, his eyes pleading as he tried to scramble away. But Hyunjae didn’t let go, instead tightening his hold with a threatening look. It was subtle–his eyes darkened and jaw tight. 

Everyone was looking now, murmurs and shocked gasps filling the room. You stumbled forward but were stopped by one of the staff members holding you back to keep you safe. You watched as other guards came rushing forward to break everything up. The prince’s collar was crumpled and he could barely speak out of sheer terror. Hyunjae on the other hand, was standing there with clenched fists. Then, immediately he looked to you to make sure you were okay.

You quickly escaped the staff member’s hold and approached him. Gently, you took his wrist because you could tell he still wanted to punch the prince square in the face. Then you pulled him close so that you could whisper into his ear.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

“But–” 

You smiled, slightly amused. “It’s okay.”

He froze and his tense muscles softened as soon as his eyes took in your smile. He quietly nodded.

“Come on,” you laughed fondly, pulling him along and out of the ballroom. The two of you ran down the same path to the garden with your hand wrapped around his wrist the whole time. 

You led him to sit on a 1bench, a beautiful spot surrounded by gorgeous flowers lit by the nearby lamps. The night sky was scattered with twinkling stars and it was a calming quiet. Immediately, you took his hand and opened it.

“Look,” you whispered with a worried expression. You frowned, taking in the gash on the palm of his hand where the sharp button of the prince’s outfit had cut him. “You got hurt. You shouldn’t have done that for me.”

You reached under the bench and pulled out a first-aid kit, typically for the gardeners who got cut from rose thorns and such. You quickly cleaned the wound and began to wrap the cut with a rolled bandage.

All the while, Hyunjae was staring at you with a straight mouth but with a soft, loving gaze. Then, he huffed and gave you an adorably angry frown as he rolled his eyes. You could tell he was still being protective.

“I couldn’t ignore it. He hurt you.”

You laughed warmly, as you secured the bandage around his hand, patting it lightly. You looked up, only to inhale sharply at the way he was staring at you so intently–so… passionately.

“I’ve…” You gulped, trying to find your voice again. “I’ve heard far worse. But thank you, Hyunjae.”

He smiled. If he was handsome in the ballroom, he was even more handsome now. The dim light perfectly emphasized his features and his hair no longer was in that perfect updo. It was messy yet it fit him perfectly. 

“But seriously!” You whined, slightly startling him. “Why did you protect me like that?”

He narrowed his eyes. “It’s my job. I’m a bodyguard.”

“Hm,” you thought for a moment, looking up to the stars that so beautifully mirrored the sparkles in Hyunjae’s eyes that only seemed to appear when he was looking at you. “I thought that meant physically. Not standing up for me. You know I can handle myself right?”

Hyunjae looked down at his lap.

“Just… let me take care and protect you.”

You stared at him blankly. Your lack of response caused him to look up at you nervously and regretfully as if he was scared you would realize something. And then it hit you. What you said earlier…

“Then until you’re ready to tell them, continue to take care and protect them in the meantime.”

You straightened and you could feel your heart seize. “The person you were talking about. It’s me, right?”

He choked. “I–”

Immediately, you were giving him a teasing look as you scooted over to lean into his side. “There’s no use in hiding it now,” you sang.

He stared at you with adorably wide eyes before he let out a defeated sigh. “Fine, yes. I may have a crush on you.”

You slapped your hand over your mouth exaggeratedly as if you hadn’t already figured it out before. “For how long?” You cut yourself off with a gasp. “Don’t tell me… you were mean to me to actually hide your feelings?”

“No, no, I did actually hate you.”

“Oh.”

“I-I’m sorry,” he blushed. “I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

You giggled. Oh, how you loved teasing him. “It’s okay. I get it.”

“But I saw how kind you were and… I realized you were different.” He gave you a fond look. “And Your Highness, you are so beautiful. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever gotten to know.”

Your cheeks were warm, even under the cool night air. You leaned into his side, staring up at him with a stupidly giddy smile. 

“And my dear Hyunjae,” you spoke, your voice teasing yet sincere either way. “You have won over my heart.”

“Really?” You could see that he was truly relieved, even past his smug smile.

“Mhm,” You hummed. “Really.” And then you leaned in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. He stared at you with wide eyes before practically melting and smiling like he had truly fallen for you. And it seemed, based on what he said, he did.

Then, he straightened and reached into his pocket. “I have something for you.” He pulled out a crocheted flower. It was a rose. A few of the stitches were messed up but it was beautiful anyway. 

Your eyebrows raised. “For me? You… made this?”

He cleared his throat, trying to look nonchalant and tough. “I tried.”

Instantly, you were smiling so wide your face hurt. You twirled the rose around, admiring the effort he made. “This is so cute!” Your eyes softened. “Thank you.”

He stared at you, still slightly dazed by your kiss on the cheek. “You’re welcome.”

You paused and then gave him a sly look–one that sent him looking away nervously. “You know I could just kiss you right now.”

He watched quietly as you set the rose gently down on the bench and turned to him. You noticed how his eyes struggled to stay on the upper side of your face. Rather, they kept wandering down to your lips.

“On the cheek?” His voice was so quiet that you had to lean in close to hear him which in turn, made him blush furiously.

You shook your head, peering up at him with doe-like eyes that made him swallow thickly. “No. On the lips.”

He inhaled sharply and tried to act normal but he was nothing like it. Rather, it seemed like he was losing it, his eyes darting across your features with a look of want and infatuation. “I… I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

“Really?” You grinned.

He nodded and as if he couldn’t get any more endearing, he shut his eyes and leaned forward. His lips slightly pouted as he waited expectantly for you to press yours on his. But instead, you giggled, your breath fanning over his lips, causing him to blink.

He immediately was filled with embarrassment as he cleared his throat, almost choked, and tried to hide his face somehow.

“Why didn’t you…”

“Because first, you have to do something for me.” You scrunched your nose, poking his cheek.

It seemed that he had momentarily forgotten that he was a bodyguard who served under you. He immediately straightened and gave you a stern look that seemed to be on the verge of melting if you ever so smiled. “What is it, Your Highness?”

You suppressed a laugh. Then, you placed a finger under his chin, lifting it up.

“You need to call me by my real name first. Not Your Highness. My name.”

“That’s a bit unprofessional,” he replied hesitantly.

You raised an eyebrow. “Do you think that what we have is at all professional?”

He chuckled and quickly, the tables turned as he set your hand down and instead wrapped a hand around your waist. He pulled you close, earning him a surprised gasp.

“Truly professional, Y/n,” he whispered, glancing down to where you were almost sitting in his lap.

You were so focused on his gentle hold on you that you almost missed the name that had left his lips. You brightened and stared up at him with wide eyes. “Hyunjae,” you breathed. “Say it again.”

“Y/n.” He leaned closer, cupping a hand around the side of your face. 

“Again,” you whispered, your heart pounding.

“Y/n.”

You were silent and he stared at you as if waiting for a cue. And finally, you whispered once again, his name.

“Hyunjae.”

And just like that, you felt two hands cup your face this time and a pair of lips being pressed to yours. The sheer passion he put into that first kiss sent you reeling and your balance completely off if it wasn’t for the hand around your back that steadied you. His other hand wrapped around your legs, pulling them over his lap so that he could hold and kiss you like it was his sole duty.

You didn’t know what to do with your hands for a while until you ultimately wrapped them around his neck and tangled them into his hair. You could feel him breathily laugh against your lips and if you peeked an eye open, you would see him smiling dearly.

So he wasn’t just a good bodyguard but a good–no–great kisser too?

And to make you even more flustered, he pressed another kiss to your forehead before he pulled away.

Dumbly, all you could say was another weak, “Hyunjae.”

“Y/n?” He offered you a knowing smile as he noticed the way your breath hitched at your name being spoken from his lips. You could tell he was proud of his effect on you. 

“Hyunjae, I hate you.” You feebly tried to slap him but he caught your hand with ease, instead intertwining your fingers with his.

“I hate you too, gorgeous.” Then, he led you up to stand with him. Yet another thing you hated: how he made your legs horribly weak. Your ears tuned into the music that leaked from the ballroom and it seemed that Hyunjae could hear it too. Then, he began to slow dance with you, much to your surprise. “I believe our little dance was interrupted before.”

“Yeah, because you did something stupid.”

He tried to protest but when you gave him a warning look, he sighed and nodded. “Fine, I’m sorry for worrying you.”

You humphed. “That’s what I thought.” Before you could add anything else, he quickly leaned in to press another kiss on your lips.

“For safe measure.”

“Safe measure for what?”

“To make sure that I was right that you taste sweet.”

You groaned and hid your face in his chest. But of course, he played along and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

You snorted, pulling away to look up at him. “Hey, you already know my schedule. And you’re following me around anyway.”

“Exactly.” He gave you a soft smile. “So let’s go on a proper date.”

Your eyes sparkled before you closed them and leaned your cheek back on his chest. His heart thumped in rhythm with yours. It thumped in perfect harmony with the rustle of the nearby flowers. It thumped with something akin to warmth.

[nhlclover]

𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 | 𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐗𝐇𝐄𝐊𝐀𝐉

summary: arber comes home after a late night out

warnings: fluff, arber being drunk

word count: 0.61k

You had been on the verge of drifting off into sleep when a clamour from just outside your front door ripped you awake. The clock on your bedside read 2:47 AM. You groggily shuffled to the door, the noise growing louder and more erratic. You peered through the peephole, spotting Arber gently swaying side to side, struggling to fit the key into the lock. You sighed to yourself, unlocking the door and opening it.

“Arber?” you asked, your voice thick with sleep. “What are you doing here? It’s so late.”

Arber looked up at your face with glassy eyes and a lopsided grin. “Hey honey, I’m home.” he slurred. Arber leaned in pressing a sloppy kiss to your lips. “‘M sorry for waking you. I couldn’t unlock the door.”

You rubbed your eye with the back of your hand, letting out a soft sigh. “That’s because the key you’re using is for your apartment, not mine.”

“We don’t live together?” Arber asked, squinting at the key in his hand.

“No, honey.” you reply.

You and Arber had talked about moving in together. It came up often and you were both excited about possibly taking the next step in your relationship. However, the timing never felt right. Hockey kept him busy during the winters, with practices, games, and workouts filling up his schedule. The summers were not less hectic when he would visit back home in Hamilton or travel the country. Finding a moment where you could both settle down in one place felt elusive.

Arber stumbled forward as you moved quickly to steady him. “Okay, let’s get you inside.” you say, guiding him into the apartment. Arber’s movements were heavy and unsteady, his swaying making it difficult to keep him upright.

As you guide him to your bedroom, the words begin to drunkenly flow from Arber’s mouth. “I don’t get why we don’t live together already. Like… we already spend so much time together. And I hate when we’re not together. And I love you so much babe! It doesn’t make sense why we don’t live together.”

As he falls to your bed, you can’t help but let out a soft laugh at your intoxicated boyfriend. “You’re really drunk right now. I don’t think you’ll remember any of this.”

“I’m not drunk… you’re just super blurry.” Arber replied. He pulled off his shoes, climbing back on your bed.

“No, no.” you say, shaking your head. “C’mon you’re getting changed first.”

You grabbed Arber’s hand and pulled him from the bed, grabbing clothing from the drawer you’d dedicated to Arber. As you aided him in changing, he continued to ramble about the night he had as well as your future together. His words were a mix of incoherent thoughts and heartfelt sentiments, which made you smile and roll your eyes at the same time.

You were finally able to coax Arber into bed, but not before placing a tall glass of water on the nightstand and a trashcan on the floor next to him. Arber pulled you into his arms, wrapping the both of you in your covers. Silence enveloped the room, the both of you beginning to drift off into sleep. Arber’s breathing lulled to a slow pace, and you began to think he’d quickly fell asleep, only to hear his deep voice mumble in your ear.

“I just… adore you.” he said softly, his voice barely audible.

Your heart melted at his sincerity that you could see even through the haze of alcohol. You rolled over in his arms to face him, brushing your fingers through his hair gently. “I adore you too, Arbs.” you say, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. “Now get some sleep.”

[cupidcures]

When Tulips Kiss | Hwang Hyunjin SMAU

CHAPTERS: 𝜗𝜚 eight | nine | 𝜗𝜚 ten

WORD COUNT: 3.5k (not proofread)

CONTAINS: implied sexual intercourse, very brief mention of an insecure body image (only once), it gets a little toxic towards the end

happy birthday

March 19, 2020 - 06:30.

It was that time of the year when the weather would fluctuate vastly, going from perfect during the day, to chilly when it was the moon’s time to shine. It was that time of the year when the South Korean winter finally began its time to thaw out, revealing the longer-lasting days, giving proper energy from the sun for the first bloom of the spring flowers. March was always the start of a beautiful spring, and it was home to the birthday of a person you cherish and love very deeply. Waking up with the sun peeking through the sheer curtains, you roll over to find your boyfriend lying there, sound asleep, and you find yourself staring at his sleeping figure for god knows how long. Eventually, you decide to get up from the bed, but not before you plant a gentle kiss on his forehead. Yours and Hyunjin’s articles of clothing decorated the floor of his room as memories from last night flashed through your mind. Standing in front of the full-length body mirror, your fingertips traced and connected all the love bites that adorned your skin. You weren’t sure how long you were standing there, but it wasn’t until the man you love, who was now awake, spoke, and snapped you out of your trance.

“You’re so perfect,” Hyunjin muttered softly before standing up and embracing you from behind.

“I love you my honeybee, but I have to disagree with you, I haven’t been feeling the best about my body lately.” you sighed, and before you knew it, you were thrown onto the bed and attacked with his hands tickling your sides.

“HYUNJIN NO STOP!!” You cried out in laughter as you squirmed around, trying to get away. The sound of Hyunjin’s laughter blended together with yours, the both of you were being so loud that you were sure his neighbors were able to hear. But you didn’t care, they were probably used to it anyway.

“Take it back and I stop!!” Hyunjin giggles as you thrash around.

“I take it back!!”

“ARE YOU PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE??”

“Yes!! Yes, I’m perfect just the way I am now please stop before I pee myself!!!!” You plead with laughter as the boy on top of you finally stops with a smug grin on his face.

“Damn right you are, you’re gorgeous and I wouldn’t change a thing about you.” Hyunjin leans down and places his lips on the tip of your ear, kissing down to your jawline, then your neck, then your shoulders and collarbone.

“I love and absolutely ADORE everything about you. You’re so perfect, inside and out.” He mumbles against your warm and sunkissed skin. He moves down to your waist and gives kisses on each side before caressing them, and you can’t help but let out a small whimper as he chuckles.

“I love your personality, I love your voice and the sound of your laughter, I love the way you get excited over every little thing, I love your curves. I love the curves on your body but I love it on your lips the most. My flower, you are so perfect and I can’t stand the thought of you feeling like you’re anything less than that. Now let’s get up, yeah? Let’s get you dressed and we can go downstairs and cook some breakfast.” He lifts himself off of you and reaches out his hand for you to grab and pull yourself up with. As his back turns to fetch you one of his shirts from his closet, you smile to yourself subconsciously. You and your loving boyfriend have been together for 2 almost 3 years since the beginning of freshman year, and now you guys are juniors who soon have to bid goodbye and greet your senior year instead. You couldn’t have asked for anyone better, because there’s nobody else for you but him.

“Lift your arms, Baby.” Hyunjin's softspoken tone soothes you and you do what you’re told so he can dress you in his shirt. Holding your hand, he leads you to the door and downstairs to the kitchen. “Now let’s cook, I’m fucking starving!!”

March 19, 2020 - 12:30.

“The bell needs to ring already… I hate this class so much like SERIOUSLY!! I hate history!!” One of your best friends, Jisung, groaned and slammed his head on the table, causing a loud thud noise. You winced just from hearing the impact and tilted your head in concern.

“Are you…. Okay?” You asked as he groaned even more while rubbing his head before hesitantly nodding, paying his attention back to the teacher, who had then just started explaining that she will be assigning a new project, a project that she will be assigning partners to. Everyone in the class collectively expressed their dismay but the teacher shushed everyone, proceeding to pair students up. You and Jisung looked at each other and rolled your eyes, before laughing to yourselves. Everybody hated this class, and it was hard to defend it. The two of you talked to each other about basically anything until she finally called your name to be paired up with someone.

“Song Y/N, you will be paired with Lee Heeseung. One of you, please grab your stuff and move next to each other.”

You sighed and pouted as Jisung pouted back at you, your hopes of being paired with someone you know, gone. Right when you were about to get up to move, Heeseung had already stood up and moved next to you with a flashy smile.

“Hey Y/N!” Heeseung greeted you and held his hand out as you shook it, “It’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard about you before! Hyunjin’s girl right? He never shuts up about you. You’re as pretty as he describes.”

You nod as a light blush dusted your cheeks. Even 3 years after you guys became official, you still get shy and surprised whenever people mention that Hyunjin talks about you so much. “Thank you. Heeseung right? It’s nice to meet you too.” After the small talk and greetings, you guys proceeded to talk about the dreaded project that your teacher assigned up until the lunch bell rang.

“I’m assuming you’re going to meet up with Hyunjin right? Can I come with? I gotta give him the notes he missed yesterday.” The boy you just met asked with a shy grin and you agreed to let him come. The walk to the library, the place you always meet Hyunjin at, was awkward and you guys didn’t really talk, and if you did, it would just be simple one-word answers that you couldn’t continue a conversation with. It felt like an eternity until you guys FINALLY reached the library, and when you guys did, you took a seat at an available table and tapped the seat in front of you, signaling for him to sit down too.

“Soo… How do you know Hyunjin?” You questioned, wanting to know more about this friend? Acquaintance? Whatever he is to Hyunjin because, well, he knows Hyunjin!

“We have chemistry together! OH! I just remembered something but you can’t tell Hyunjin.” Heeseung stood up from his chair and leaned down to your ear.

“There’s a surprise party for his birthday tomorrow, I’m sure you already know that though. BUT I need help picking out a present for him. I was talking to him the other day and he said that you were the one who knew him best.” He whispers in your ear before straightening his back then rests his arms on his hips, “So I thought maybe you could help me with that too!”

“Oh, I’m down! When did you wanna do it?” You ask so you can make sure that you tell Hyunjin that you’re going to be busy.

“Let’s go out later today just you and me, but you have to make sure not to tell Hyunjin. Make an excuse or something!” Heeseung gave you a thumbs-up, and you copied his gesture with a smile.

“Okay, can I get your number so I can text you when we can go?” He gives you his phone shyly and you take it, inputting your number in.

“I should get going, I didn’t think it would take Hyunjin this long to come and I gotta meet up with my friends for lunch. Cya! Thanks for the help!” He waves goodbye and you wave back, but what he said has you thinking. You look at your phone and the time. 20 minutes have passed and he’s still not here? And no notifications either? You decided to wait a little longer, just in case something came up and he had to be a little late, but you couldn’t help but worry so you text him just in case.

March 19, 2020 - 16:00.

The tuned melody of the dismissal bell rang throughout the school as the chatter of students quickly rose and flooded your ears. You would usually be happy and peppy by now, joyous that the school day had ended, but you didn’t have a good feeling and it felt as if something was wrong. Hyunjin hadn’t gotten back to you, not even a single text. The thought of something possibly happening to him made you sick to your stomach, but all you could do was pray that he would meet you by your locker. So there you were, waiting for your boyfriend to come by and tell you that everything was going to be okay and that you were just worried over nothing. You were constantly scanning your surroundings in hopes of seeing the boy you love so much as you anxiously bounced your leg on the ground at an impressive rate of speed.

You look at your phone, and it’s blank. It’s 16:15 and the halls are nearly empty, as most of the students have already left the school. Fuck. Where is he??? You look around you for the thousandth time today and you finally lock eyes with him.

“Hyunjin!!” You practically lunged yourself at him and clung onto his arm, letting out a sigh of relief that you didn’t know you were holding in. “Jinnie I missed you so much I was worried sick! Why weren’t you responding to my texts?” You interrogated in a slightly joking manner but at he did was stare at you with a blank expression and shove you off of him as you lost your balance and tumbled back, only to leave you stunned.

“Fuck outta here.” He scoffed and continued on walking as you stood there, shocked at what just happened. All you could do was stare at the back of his head, watching his figure slowly walking away.

What the fuck?

March 19, 2020 - 19:30.

“Maybe something happened and got him in a really bad mood? BUT EVEN SO, that’s no excuse to be rude to you, and especially not to swear at you!!” You were at Chuu’s house now, and you had explained to her what happened and what Hyunjin did to you after school. Just then, you hear a notification go off on your phone, and you immediately go to check if it was Hyunjin who texted you, only to be let down after seeing that it was Heeseung who texted.

“Why won’t he even text me?” You sniffled and covered your face as more tears ran down. “We’ve never had trouble communicating what was going on in our lives before. Why now??”

Chuu immediately wraps you into a tight hug and pats your head. “Maybe he’s really stressed you know? I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated and upset about this because I would feel this way too, but Hyunjin loves you so much Y/N. There’s no doubt about it, and he’ll come around eventually so you two could talk things out. But for right now, let’s call the rest over, okay? Sleepover at my house!!” Chuu smiled the brightest she could to cheer you up, and you choked out a small laugh and laid your head on her shoulder.

“You’re the best.”

“Of courseee~~ NOW I’M GONNA TEXT THE GROUP CHAT SO WE COULD ALL HANG OUT!”

March 20, 2020 - 06:45.

Waking up to the sunlight shining on your face, you found yourself trapped between Seungmin and Chaewon’s arms, with Jeongin and Jisung sleeping at the bottom of your feet. The sight was…. interesting but it made you laugh to yourself a bit. No matter how weird and chaotic they are, there’s no doubt that they all love and care for one another like blood. You carefully slid out of your friends’ arms and reached for your phone for the time, but mostly to check if Hyunjin texted. It was morning time now, and still no texts or calls from your boyfriend. You can feel yourself starting to cry again, tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you walk yourself to Chuu’s bathroom to splash cold water on your face. Closing and locking the door behind you, you give your face a gentle wash. You turn your phone on again just to admire the candid picture you took of Hyunjin during one of the many arcade dates you guys went on. You smile a sad smile, looking at the picture fondly.

I hope he’s willing to talk to me today, it’s his birthday after all.

Despite him ignoring you, you decide to still send him a Happy Birthday text anyway, you love him after all, and you guys will overcome this.

Knock knock knock.

“Y/N you in there???” It was Seungmin, though he tried to keep his voice down so as to not wake the others up, you were still able to tell that his voice was laced with worry and urgency. The last thing you wanted was someone to be worried about you right now, so you stood up and opened the door for him with a smile that didn’t reach your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I think I’m gonna skip school today though.” You spoke in a soft but raspy voice as Seungmin slowly nodded in acknowledgment.

“Well if that’s the case, then I’m skipping too. No way in hell I’m gonna let you be by yourself. I trust you to be alone, but I just don’t want you to even FEEL alone.” He held your hands and wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“Hyunjin’s being a little hardheaded and stubborn right now, but I know he loves you. We all know he loves you. HELL, even people who don’t know him could just observe the way he looks at you, and they would know that he loves you. So don’t be too sad alright? Not only does Hyunjin love you, but so do we.” He pinched your cheek as you whined and laughed for him to stop, alerting the others that you two were awake.

“Huh…. What time is it…” Jeongin mumbles sleepily and rubs his eyes, while the rest slowly wake up one by one.

“Me and Y/Nnie here aren’t going to school today. Are you guys gonna be losers and go to school or will you be cool and stay back with us?” Seungmin raised an eyebrow with an expecting look while Chuu, Jeongin, Jisung, and Chaewon shared a look before smiling.

“HELL YEAH LET’S SKIP!!!”

March 20, 2020 - 18:30.

You were nervous, to say the least. Here you were dressed up with the rest of your friends stepping foot in Hyunjin’s house. You were supposed to take part in the group that surprises him when he comes home, but you didn’t feel confident enough to face him yet. How could you feel confident? There was something wrong between the two of you and you weren’t sure of what it was. And you weren’t even sure if HE wanted to face YOU. He hadn’t responded to your happy birthday text, so you could imagine that he’s still upset, for whatever unknown reason, but you’re putting your foot down. You’re going to ask him what’s going on today. You looked around in hopes of finding Hyunjin amidst the crowd, and luck happened to be on your side today because there he was, staring right at you. Even if he was ignoring you, he couldn’t stop himself from admiring your beauty. Even after you guys made eye contact, he didn’t look away, so you did. You looked at Seungmin as he nodded and patted your head before giving you a thumbs up. “You’ve got this!” He encourages and pushes you towards the birthday boy.

The closer you get to him and the more steps you take, the more you feel uneasy and queasy about it. His eyes were still on you, never leaving, and you felt small under his gaze. It’s hard to read his emotions right now. Is he mad? Upset? Why is his expression so blank??? You finally stopped right in front of him as he looked down on you, waiting for you to say something. Yet, the longer you look at his face, the more noticeable his eyebags are and how bloodshot his eyes are.

“Happy Birthday Jinnie. Have you slept?” You asked with genuine concern, lifting your hand to his cheek and stroking it in a gentle manner, and you could almost feel him melt into your touch before he pulled your hand away, his gaze sharpening.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Hyunjin clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth to make a tch sound and rolled his eyes, and that was when you decided that was enough.

“Hyunjin I really don’t understand what’s going on. I love you and I care for you and I want to be there for you when you need it. You always let me before, why won’t you let me now??” You exhaled, frustration and sadness evident in your voice, and for a second, you felt his attitude falter. And for a second, he just wanted to fall back into your arms and pull you into his embrace. For a second, he wants to pull you in for a kiss and tell you how much he loves you and beg you to stay with him, but he can’t. So he shakes the feeling away, ignoring the heartache he’s feeling in his chest.

“I already know, you don’t need to play dumb.” He shrugs and it upsets you even more. Why is he being so nonchalant about this?? And what is he even talking about?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about? So please just make it clear to me because I want to fix this, fix us. I don’t know what I did but I would do anything to fix it.” You held his hand and pleaded, bringing his hand to your chest. “Please tell me what’s going on Hyunjin.”

The two of you managed to grab the attention of a few people, who then started whispering and watching what was going on, and Hyunjin noticed. He couldn’t embarrass himself in front of all these people and take you back, especially not on his birthday.

“Bullshit. You know what you did so stop playing innocent Y/N. You’re a piece of shit and I regret ever dating you.” He spat out as your eyes widened in shock, then welling up in tears.

“This,” Hyunjin points at you and then at him in a continuous motion, “was a mistake. You were never worth my time and I can’t believe I wasted 2, nearly 3 years of my life on somebody like you. I wonder just how long you managed to hide it from me.” He scoffed and began walking away from you, just like he had done yesterday. You could hear your friends calling your name and tugging on your arm, motioning for you to just leave it at that, but you tuned them out. Then, with tears spilling down your face, you caught up with Hyunjin and spun him around to get him to look at you, and it worked. You were unable to read what he was feeling when he saw you as a mess, but what he felt didn’t matter anymore. If he wants to paint you as an asshole, then you’ll be the asshole.

The loud slap that you gave him in front of everyone echoed through the house as you threw the gift you got him for his birthday at his chest. “Happy fucking birthday Hwang.” You spoke through your teeth before turning your back on him and walking out, never looking back.

Hyunjin held his blushing cheek and winced before picking up the gift that you had gotten for him. It was in a small velvet box with a note stuck inside of it. Opening the box revealed a silver heart-shaped locket that held a picture that was taken during their very first date. He gulped and closed the locket back up before turning his attention to the note. It wasn’t a big note that was in there. In fact, it was really small, only being able to hold the words ‘Thank you for showing me that I’m capable of being loved! I’ll always love you Jinnie!’ and Hyunjin’s teardrop right next to it.

a/n: ummm… sorry guys i’m a little iffy on this one LOL. as you can see… i’m not the type to write angst i’m not very good at it HAHA. anywaysss i think this chapter made it more clear as to what hyunjin thinks y/n did, but i didn’t wanna spoil his EXACT thought processing yet! i’m sure most of you guys are smart enough to figure it out tho lololol

𝜗𝜚 WTK series masterlist

TAGLIST (OPEN)! @jeonginplsholdmyhand @jeonginsgirl @mlrroh @mafiulaputaama @seungzsmin @hannie-bees @skz1lov @porang-poranglinos @sillyhal @mitchii @nessas-archive @soulphoenix1618

if your blog was italicized, it means i wasn’t able to tag you :’(

[fluentmoviequoter]

No Dreams in the Wasteland

Pairing: Jim Street x fem!reader

Summary: Years after Jim left Long Beach, he calls you from Los Angeles, and you do everything you can to get back to him.

Warnings: r and Jim were friends in Long Beach, angst to fluff, song lyrics are italicized

Word Count: 3.2k+ words

A/N: Jim Street owns this album in my mind. After months in my drafts, I hope you enjoy!🤍

“Hey, it’s Street – uh, Jim Street. You probably know that. Or maybe you don’t remember me, I don’t know, I shouldn’t just assume… This isn’t- I’m just going to start over. This is Jim Street. I’ve been thinking about you recently; longer than that, really. I’m living in Los Angeles now; I have a great job and amazing friends. I think I’m finally figuring out this adulting, life thing if you can believe it. I- I’d love to see you, so if you’re ever in LA, give me a call.”

You listen to the voicemail until you have it memorized. Jim Street was an important part of your life, and you loved him before you truly understood what love was. Hearing from him after all this time makes you realize that something needs to change. The nights after Jim left Long Beach were filled with dreams of him, but as life moved on and he did too, you stopped dreaming altogether. Street took a part of you with him when he left, and a surprise voicemail offers a chance to get it, and him, back.

The train ticket clutched in your hand emptied your savings account. Life was never going to be easy, but the decision to spend your last dime on a one-way train ride to find Jim Street again was. You couldn’t sleep during the night leading up to your departure, but when you sit down on the train platform to wait, you close your eyes to think of Jim and how amazing your reunion will be.

A train whistle blowing and wheels turning pull you from your dreamless sleep. Leaving your bag, you run toward the train and raise your ticket over your head. While you rush after it, begging the conductor to stop, memories of Jim run through your head.

It’s over, though, because if you miss the train, no, it ain’t gonna wait for you. Your ticket is nonrefundable, nontransferable, and now it’s nothing more than a useless piece of paper that symbolizes how trapped you are. In a life with no money, you are stuck with no hope and no chance of seeing Street any time soon. Even worse, you realize as you walk out of the station with nothing but your ticket, you can’t even dream of a better life with him because there are no dreams in the wasteland.

The following morning, with no phone, wallet, or future, you set out to find a job. If you can’t visit Street, or even listen to his voicemail again, you’ll have to work until you can. There’s a letter from a debt collector in your mail as you leaf through rejection letters regarding job applications you submitted previously. Falling back in your chair, you sigh and look around your dismal apartment. There’s a piece of paper beside you, and you decide to write a few goals. In high school, you and Jim wrote a list of things you wanted to do in life. It seems like he's working steadily down his list, while you’re stalled somewhere between “graduate” and “get a job I love.” The paper is quickly covered in your goals, and you pin it to the back of your door so you can see it every morning. Three goals will get you back to Jim, and you will do everything it takes to: save all your money, pay off all your debts, and always be afraid of all the failures and regrets. The second part is more of a reminder, but you refuse to get comfortable in your sad excuse of a life without Jim Street again. He’s the prize on the other side of this wasteland, and even if you only get a moment with him, it’s worth everything you risk.

Within a week of the disaster at the train station, you have two full-time jobs, a few hours to sleep each night, the cheapest flip phone you could find, and a growing bank account. Living with your goals and Jim Street in mind, you buy only what you need, and the lack of free time makes it easy to avoid spending money.

On your first day off, after a month of working nonstop, you clean your apartment. There’s a large pile of things you don’t use, and you use your laptop to find a second-hand store that will buy them. It won’t get you much money, but a few dollars in your pocket is the equivalent of a few miles closer to Jim. Los Angeles isn’t far, but there are things in Long Beach that you have to deal with before you leave. Granted, you’re unsure if Jim even wants to see you now. You’re done living without him, you decide as you gather the items to sell, and even if the world’s on fire and you’re dancin’ with the dead, you will find Jim Street again.

As you wait for the employees to examine and price your items, you wait at the counter and open your flip phone. Jim likely doesn’t have your new number, but the fact that he found your previous number makes you hope he’ll reach out again. You didn’t call back either, though.

Someone says your name as the bell over the door chimes. You turn and see a former classmate; a girl who knew you when Jim was still around.

“Jess,” you greet. “Hi.”

“I didn’t know you shopped here!” she says as she pulls you into a hug.

“Oh, I don’t. Just selling a few things.”

“We ladies can always use a little extra spending money, right?”

Jessica laughs and you wonder why she’s talking to you. There’s no reason for her to remember you, let alone be willing to strike up the first conversation you’ve ever had.

“So, did you and Jim ever tie the knot?” she asks. “I always wanted a chance with him, but ya know, girl code. You were so close I’d never do that.”

“Um.”

She grabs your left hand and frowns dramatically. “You didn’t? Or you did? Babe, I’m so sorry, either way. But…”

You prepare yourself for her to ask for his number or to blame you somehow. Everyone’s a stranger, but they’re actin’ like my friends to get what they want, you think. Long Beach has been empty for you since Jim left, and your lonely life is only invaded when someone needs something or thinks you can get them to Jim.

The first employee you spoke to returns, and you cheer internally as you excuse yourself from Jessica. She nods and pats your hand before turning to look at shoes.

“Friend of yours?” the employee asks with a knowing look.

“Something like that,” you reply. “Do you have good news for me?”

“I do actually. Some of this is from designer brands that have been retired; are you sure you want to part with them?”

“Designer?” you repeat. “I don’t have designer clothes.”

“Oh, these have been out of circulation for decades. You’d be surprised how many are handed down or found in thrift shops. Regardless of how you got them, our final offer is $5,000 for all of it. And if you have more, we’re prepared to pay the same rate.”

“Five thou- what are the brands? I can look and see if I have more.”

“I’ll take that as you accept?” the employee interjects with a smile.

“Yes, yes, I accept. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I need this.”

She winks as she passes you an envelope and a piece of paper with several brand names written on it. You gratefully accept them and place them in the safest zipper in your purse before turning toward the door. Jessica calls out and your shoulders drop as you smile and walk to her side.

“You make good money?” she asks.

“More than I expected,” you answer. “Have a good one, Jessica.”

“No, babe, wait. We should go shopping tomorrow and you can tell me all about Jim!”

“I’ve got to work tomorrow, so maybe next time,” you lie before rushing out of the store.

You will sell all of your clothes if you’re going to get this much money for them. Having two streams of steady income has made a sizeable dent in your debt and rebuilt your savings account, but $5,000 will get you within inches of selling your apartment and buying another one-way train ticket. You won’t fall asleep this time, and you won’t miss the train for any reason, because you’re done expecting people and things to wait for you. This may be the wasteland, but you’re learning that you deserve more, and you can do the work to get there.

After you rip apart your closet again and fail to find more formerly designer clothes, you sit back. The fears, doubts, and insecurities in your head come and go, but you can drown them out in a moment. You close your eyes, and the voicemail from Street plays in your mind and you forget all the voices in your head. Thinking of a man from your past, the man you wanted to be your future, is the secret to forgetting them and remembering who you are.

Several weeks after Street left the voicemail, Luca has grown to anticipate the first words out of his mouth when he returns from late-night motorcycle rides.

“Any messages for me?” Street asks.

Luca shakes his head and says, “Nah, man. I’m sorry.”

Street runs his fingers through his hair and looks longingly at the phone as he sits. “I think it’s time for me to move on, Luca.”

“Dude, you can’t give up on her! Clearly, she means a lot to you; I mean, c’mon, you have dreams about her!”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have confided that,” Street murmurs. “She’s not going to call back, Luca. It’s never going to happen.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Weeks without an answer typically means there isn’t one coming.”

“You can’t pick who you fall for, Street. Or who you dream about.”

Street stands and slaps his hands against his thighs as he says, “Then I guess it’s time for me to find another dream.”

The refund in your bank account makes you groan. There are more than enough funds to cover the weekly payment to your debt repayment company. You find the number and wait to speak to a representative as you look around your empty apartment. Everything you have left, all that you care about, can fit in a single suitcase, and you’re ready for the moment that you fill the case and leave this part of your life behind.

“I just looked at your account, ma’am, and there is no outstanding balance. The refund was the difference of your payment,” the representative explains. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Are you saying I don’t owe any more money?” you ask incredulously.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Um, yes, one more thing, please. Can you check all of my accounts?”

“I did. They are all at a balance of $0. You have paid off all debts with our company.”

“Thank you!” you cheer before hanging up.

You look at everything even remotely related to your money several times before grabbing a marker and approaching your door. You draw a line through save all your money and pay off all your debts. With an excited smile, you rip the paper down and lay it at the bottom of your suitcase. Once all of your belongings are in the suitcase, you grab your favorite book from the shelf. A picture of you and Street in high school falls out, and you look at it before placing it in your pocket.

After a stop to inform your landlord that you will not be renewing your lease next month and he can sell what remains in your apartment, you arrive at the train station.

“I need a one-way ticket to Los Angeles,” you say as you approach the ticket booth.

“No trains to Los Angeles ‘til tomorrow morning. 9:30 a.m.,” he replies.

“I’ll take it.”

You accept the ticket and sit with your legs over your suitcase. Trains come and go, and you look at the picture of you and Street: a couple kids in the heart of America. Hours pass, and as the sun sets, you know you won’t be able to sleep. You’ll wait forever at the station to go home to Jim Street.

When you step off the train in sunny Los Angeles, you’re suddenly reminded that you don’t know where to go from here. Phone books are a thing of the past, and you’re sure an internet search would be more of a wild-goose chase than anything. Despite this lack of direction, you smile and exit the station in search of a hotel. Once there, you Google Jim’s name and are surprised to see it in several news reports.

“Jim Street of LAPD S.W.A.T. did not comment…” you read quietly. “He did it.”

“I understand that I can’t see him, but could you tell him I’m here? He called me and I couldn’t call him back,” you explain. “Please just tell him?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” the disinterested officer says before turning back to his computer.

You sit in the L.A.P.D. lobby and run your finger over the edge of the picture.

“Officer Luca,” the officer you talked to calls.

You glance up but quickly return your eyes to the photo. It’s your only comfort: the picture and knowing that the man in it is somewhere in the same city.

“Excuse me,” a man says as he steps beside you. “I’m Officer Luca, can you come with me for a moment?”

“Sure, officer,” you answer.

He smiles at something as you slide with photo into your bag. You follow him wordlessly as you wonder if Jim is somewhere in these halls. Officer Luca leads you through the station before stopping suddenly.

“26-David!” he yells.

You follow Officer Luca’s line of sight and watch as Jim Street turns around. He looks at Luca with his brows furrowed before his eyes slide to you. You smile and wave shyly as Street walks toward you.

“Now who’s dreaming about the right girl?” Luca mutters under his breath.

“Hi,” you greet.

Jim smiles and says, “I thought you weren’t going to call.”

“That’s- that’s a long story, but I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he promises. “I have to work until 6, but I meant everything I said. Do you maybe want to get dinner or something?”

“I’d love that.”

“Where are you staying? I’ll pick you up.”

You tell him the name of your hotel, and he types it into his phone for safekeeping. You look between him and his phone, and he chuckles before offering it to you. After creating your contact, you send yourself a text, so you have his number, too. It’s as if a heavy weight is lifted, knowing that you can reach out whenever you want. Street places his phone back in his pocket and looks at you.

“Could I get a hug or something? It’s been years,” you whisper.

Street’s smile grows as he pulls you close. He wraps his arms over your shoulders as yours circle his waist. As he tightens his grip on you, he murmurs that he missed you and never wants the hug to end. You feel the same, but Street is called away, and you leave with a phone number, the prospect of a dinner, and an unspoken promise that things will be different now. Better.

“Officer Luca made it sound like you talk about me,” you say in the elevator of your hotel.

“You never leave my mind,” Jim replies, with his hand in yours.

“Even when you sleep?” you tease.

“Who do you think I dream about? Don’t you have a special someone in your dreams?”

You chew your bottom lip before answering, “I don’t dream.”

“I don’t mean actual dreams.”

“I know. I just- there’s no dreams in the wasteland, Street. And that’s where I’ve been for most of my life. It took everything I had to get here to see you. Why do you think it took me months?”

“What did you do?”

The elevator opens, and you walk silently through the lobby. Street pulls you to a stop on the sidewalk and looks into your eyes.

“I bought a train ticket the day after you called,” you begin. “But I missed the train and didn’t have enough money to buy another ticket. My phone was in my bag, and I left it at the station, so I had no way of calling you back. But because I spent the last of my savings on that ticket, I couldn’t pay my bills on time. It took working several jobs and barely sleeping, but I paid off all my debts. Except for one.”

“Being?”

“Everything I owe you.”

Street sighs and moves his hands up to your shoulders. “You don’t have to repay me for being your friend. When I said I wanted to see you, I wasn’t asking for anything more than your company.”

“I know, Street. My debt is not telling you how I felt before our lives stopped being connected. I wanted to tell you in high school, but I got scared.”

“You know how I felt in high school?” Street whispers. “I was in love with you, but I was terrified of losing you.”

“And now?”

“The same. With a little less fear. After all, you came all this way just to visit me, right?”

“Not exactly.”

Street’s brows furrow, and you smile.

“I left Long Beach. For good. I want to be wherever you are for as long as you’ll let me. I think I’m ready to leave the wasteland and get back to the life I always wanted, with you.”

Street nods slowly and leans toward you as he murmurs, “I think… I want to make up for lost time. The risk wasn’t worth it in high school; I wasn’t ready back then.”

“What do we have to lose now, Street?” you ask.

“More time. Too much.”

He pulls you against his chest and kisses you. The wasteland becomes a distant memory as you move with Street. Everything fades away as you show one another everything that you have felt for one another and communicate that the time apart was hard but worth it to get to this moment. You finally feel at home and like you’re living again. No longer are you living in a world on fire and dancin’ with the dead, but living in a world with Jim Street, where you breathe together, your hearts beat together, and his kiss gives you life. After you pull back, Jim leads you to his motorcycle and pulls you close.

“I could do that all night,” you say.

“I’ve been dreaming of kissing you since sophomore year,” Jim replies. “But that was far better.”

“No more being afraid of all the failures and regrets. I want us, Jim. Forever.”

“Alright,” he says with a dramatic sigh. “I guess I’ll just die every night.”

“What?”

He smiles as he says, “I’ve got a real bad feeling that your lips could kill. But I’ve always wanted to die for a night.”

You kiss Jim again, and the last few months become a memory only of his voicemail and loving Jim from a distance.

Surprise 2nd Song :)

[mvltisstuff]

this town - e.b

summary: buck tells his kids the story of him and y/n.

evan buckley x reader

a/n: ok so someone left this as a request and i accidentally posted it too early 😭 but i still wanted to do it and i hope they find it :(

buck was sitting on the couch in his and y/n's home, when he heard little footsteps roll down the stairs and sneak up behind him. he was home alone tonight for a bit while y/n was finishing up her shift, which meant he was the one to put them to bed and get them ready. usually, both of them would put them to sleep, so buck was ready for a night of complaints and the kids missing their mother.

"alright guys, it's almost time for bed!" buck turns around to face them.

"but we wanna wait for mom to come home! she's always home when we go to bed!" their oldest complains, and buck is ready for the battle with his 6 year old son.

"i know, buddy. but moms just finishing up at work. she'll be home soon."

"we want you and mama,” their youngest daughter says in small words, being younger than her brother.

"i know, but she'll be home to give you guys a kiss in bed.” he says, rubbing their sons head.

"can we wait for her, please! we don't have school tomorrow either so we can stay up later." buck contemplated whether he should send them to bed, but he was still outnumbered. he knows he should be the one to tell them to go to bed because he is their father, but there is nothing he hates more than the people he loves being sad.

"fine, but i'm not taking the blame when mom is upset you two aren't in bed!" he jokes with them, moving around so they can sit comfortably with him.

“can we have a story, dad?” his smallest asks, snuggled with her head on his stomach and small body between his legs. buck pulls them both in and begins an old story from when they were young, a classic.

cuddled into bucks side, his son says, “cmon dad! can you tell us about you and mama?”

buck smiles, thinking of how to begin such a long story. “alright, alright. well, you know me and mama weren’t always fans of each other right?”

“what?” the boy asks, moving his head up with a shocked expression. “you hated each other?”

“well…” buck and y/n have always taught their kids not to say hate, as it can be such a strong word, but there really isn’t another word for how their relationship started. “i wouldn’t say hate. it was… rocky.”

after another week of having to be rivals at their station, fighting to keep their spot at the 118. having another dinner together, when y/n walked in, buck rolled his eyes and sighed. even when they were assigned together, he couldn’t help but complain. they were both good. and they couldn’t stand that about each other. they didn’t want to waste any time getting to know each other when they could fight instead. their egos were too big.

they started to think bobby put them together on purpose, “y/l/n, buck, are we gonna have a problem? you guys cannot tolerate each other and if you can’t learn to fix that then we will have one.” they sat in his office after being called in. they didn’t really know how to response, not being able to let up their stubbornness.

“sorry, cap. but don’t look at me.” buck says.

“really, buck? this is exactly why you are exhausting to be around.” y/n says, staring at the wall instead of at him.

“guys, stop. fix this, now. get a grip, and focus on work before i consider other measures.”

“then how did you get married if you hated each other?” their little girl asks.

“well, you wanna know what mama did next?” he asks them back.

“what did she do, dad?” the boy asks.

“your mom,” he presses his finger against his chest. “saved my life.”

“y/l/n, we have no response from buckley during head count,” bobby tells her.

“what? is he still in there?” she says, pointing at the hall building that was seconds from falling. bobby nods painfully, and y/n pulls on her helmet again.

“y/n? you can’t do back in there, we got a direct evacuation order…” bobby says with heartbreak at the closest thing he still has to a son.

“sorry, but he would break an order for any of us, cap.” y/n says, running back into the burning building that could be layered on top of buck right now.

“so if she didn’t find you, what would’ve happened?” buck doesn’t want to answer that question, because she is the reason he is alive. he would be dead without her.

“i don’t know, pal. but she is the reason i have you and everything i have.”

“so you stopped hating her?”

“i realized that we never really hated each other, we were just too much alike so i couldn’t handle someone with as much passion as i did,” buck says. “which is why we tell you kids to never say you hate someone, because you never know what could happen. but me and your mom, i had no idea what to say after. i owed her everything. she helped me all the time after that, so we got a lot closer and we learned to love each other for who we are.”

back to the world outside of his hospital room, finally, the team threw buck a huge party. y/n had driven him over, still having to help him with small tasks. his hand had gripped onto hers, still being prepared for the worst after that had happened to him. when he walked in, everyone was there. karen and hen, chim and maddie, athena and her family, eddie and christopher with carla. buck felt extreme amounts of overwhelming love, before he even realized that she had put this together for him.

as the party went on, and they went their separate ways to talk to different people around them, buck had finally found her again. even thought he was fighting to get back to work, he still got tired at the end of the night.

“hey, you having fun? feeling ok? do you need me to grab anything for you or ar-“ buck cuts her words off and pulls her in. he leaves a kiss on her lips, as a way to thank her without having to figure out the words yet. he didn’t actually have to, as they came spilling out seconds later.

“i love you, y/n. i truly don’t know how to repay you for any of this. you rescued me, i cant thank you enough, y/n. i’m so sorry, i put you through hell and you could’ve left me there-“

“i would never be able to live with myself if anything happened to you, buck. i love you, too.”

“we got married a few years later, and then you,” he nudges his son. “came along. and then you did, too. you two have no clue how happy everyone was when you arrived.”

“i’m glad mama saved you, dad.” his son says, still leaning into his side with tiredness forming in his words. his daughter was already asleep, knocked out in his lap.

“me too, kid. me too,” buck reminisces on all their memories together, finding out she was pregnant and when he proposed, and even the bad moments when they fought over dumb stuff. after a while of telling their son more miscellaneous stories about him and y/n, they both eventually dozed off into a sweet sleep.

y/n got home about 15 minutes after they had fallen asleep on the couch, and a grin grew on her face as she saw her kids both slumped on the couch over her husband. she walks over, not being able to remove the smile. she runs her hand over bucks hair, and his eyes flutter awake.

“hey, how were they? i see they didn’t want to go to bed,” she says.

“oh, you know. wanted to wait for you so i told them a story.”

“wow,” she looks at her son and daughter passed out over their dad. “must’ve been a good one then.”

“oh, you wouldn’t believe it.” buck smiles back up at her as they wake up their sleeping children. after tucking them in with their goodnight kisses, they make their way to end the night together as they always dreamed, even at that station years ago.