#I can’t cause I’ll hyperfixate on it then burn out

[olivers-cocoapuffs]

AU where James and Sirius are in a British dance troupe and they go away to compete in an international competition and James meets Regulus (a member of the French team) and they fall in love.

Except Sirius hasn’t talked to Regulus in years (they’re all in their twenties now) and they’re all staying in a hotel in Sydney, Australia

[crowborn666-writes]

League of Villains and the Soft Things They Do For You

(Hitting the dreaded writing block wall for my fics, figured I’d write something easy (feel bad cause I’ve got a request to do, but I’m sure they’ll understand lmao))

(As usual, tried to keep this as gender neutral as possible!)

Genre: fluff, Platonic

~~~~~~

Dabi

on cold nights, he’ll let you cling or huddle against him, you get warmth and he finds comfort in the gentle or firm touch you provide in return

Calm on the outside, would be losing his mind if he heard you ever got a burn. Whether it’s a minor burn, like from touching a pot without gloves on or turning the sink on too high, or a burn that causes others to wince in sympathy, like from a fire or a rope, he is on top of you, suggesting eighteen hundred different things to help with whatever damage your in

Sick? He can’t help much for the fever, but he’ll keep your soup warm for you!

In pain? He’s your heating pad now. No use racking up the electric bill when he’s around.

Tomura

a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to hygiene, will fall behind in his own hygiene needs but will be your moral boost for yours. Too mentally tired? He’ll set up your bath and get your comfy clothes for you. Sensory troubles regarding the water or your toothpaste? If you’re comfortable with it, he’ll sit with you and help distract your mind

Won’t admit it, but greatly appreciates your attempts to help him in return

“Who said something bad about you? That guy? Don’t worry I’ll take care of it.”

Late night walks for snacks together? At least three times a week

Twice

You wanna infodump about the most random ass hyperfixation you have? He’ll listen all day long

Actually! Asks! Questions! To! Show! He’s! Engaged!!!

If you’re like me with a vocal stim of randomly quoting vines and funny audios, this man will, one way or another, find said vines, memorize them, and then quote them with you

You, randomly: “what do you have?” Twice, across the entire goddamn base: “A KNIFE!” You, yelling back: “NO!”

Toga

bad breakup? An ex hurt you? Give her their locations, she just wants to talk

Afraid of needles?(like me) she doesn’t entirely understand the fear, but she’ll do her best to keep her needles out of your eyesight

Talks about crushes? Absolutely. Nail painting included if you’d like

Will stick herself in between you and some rando who made you uncomfortable in a heartbeat. Def will give them the “I will hurt you” smile too

[mysteryanimator]

Bro your opinions on characters are so well put together I wanted to ask if you think if Olrox’s lover and Richters mom could be considered “haunting the narrative” type characters I get not all dead characters are but I feel like Nocturne would barely be a story if it weren’t for them 😭

OMG BAHAHA TYTY, I just really enjoy the nuances and character depth Nocturne has, and my gulity pass time is to do research and deep dives, then tucking them away in my brain. It really helps me to inform art I make in general coz I love putting in that same nuance visually.

Again thoughts are my own and it’s me being silly and hyperfixating ✋😔

Steering to your question, 100% the death of these characters are haunting the narrative and they both overlap each other because the death of Olrox’s lover led to the death of Julia. Particularly they haunt Olrox and Richter, aka our main protagonist and main antagonist. Both their deaths inform the choices and paths they take after the fact, which I’ll keep iterating coz it’s fun: there is always a choice. Massive theme is choicesssss. Also the consequences of your choices.

Like the whole of Nocturne could have not been the way it ended up without their deaths LOL. The narrative would’ve been wayyy different if even ONE of them were alive. Butterfly effect I think you could put it as?

Since Richter was a child when Julia died, it obviously had a massive impact on him growing up and in turn literally prevented him from doing magic until late in season 1. Nocturne Richter can’t be Nocturne Richter we know today without Julia dying. While he still grew up in a loving space that challenged him to be a strong fighter, he literally still gets haunted while dozing off. The mere echo of Olrox’s voice causes him to spiral.

Meanwhile, Olrox is STILL deeply affected by his lover’s death. I can only presume Olrox merely acts the way he does now after Julia killed his lover, merely due to my observations in Ep 6, where he talks about his lover which is a-lot more different to how he’s been presented prior to that. Was Olrox genuinely that much softer and open previously before everything happened? My thoughts are yes. While I think back then he still was this charismatic witty character is now, I’d like to think he also used to be a lot more softer and open until he lost the reason to 🥲

Which by the way, Julia and Olrox’s lover technically manifests themselves again, if that makes sense? Hopefully? I have a point with this and I hope I can get this out with the way it’s structured in my brain. Richter having his powers back, along with Juste now coming into the fray, an older familia Belmont.

Olrox, falling for a man who “burns with such passion” and “fought with the revolutionaries; Mizrak. (Mystery unable to not bring up Mizrak again whoops). As you can tell, Julia and Olrox’s lover literally even redirect them back to the where they were before. If that makes sense??

Regardless, the death of Julia and the death of Olrox’s lover is crucial to Nocturne’s story and hover above our characters. Every choice, every thought, every path they take, is haunted by their deaths.

Tyyy for the ask, cant believe this page is slowly but surely also turning into art with a side of “people allowing Mystery to ramble about their favourite show”. Can’t wait for Geeked Week so I can break down any sneak peek, frame by frame, which funnily falls on my birthday LOL

[paperglader]

Thoughts on C3EP77 of CR (I hyperfixate on imodna constantly, but I swear that I talk about the rest of the characters as well)

Delilah fucking briarwood. It has not gone past me that we got to have this great laudna moment on the same ep where they announced the book. WHICH I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT.

Imodna will never not be iconic in the middle of a fight. That one moment when laudna was being cornered by the ghosts, and she kept going back and forth between acting like Delilah and pleading for them to understand that she wasn’t the one they were after, to finally Imogen killing two of them, and as they vanished, her gaze was finally visible to laudna as the cloud of smoke dissipated and she told her that it would be alright, only for laudna to lash out once again and unleash her attacks on the rest of them. Chef’s kiss. What a scene.

Imogen calling Delilah Briarwood a bitch will never get old.

Laudna making Imogen promise her to move on and be happy if she died- I can’t. My sweet farm girl was so heartbroken the entire episode. THERE WAS ONE MOMENT TOO, when orym was talking about missing Will every day, and how he would want him to live and be happy, and Imogen was just like 😣. She needs a hug. Someone has to give her a hug

FEARNE FINALLY KNOWS ABOUT IMODNA. The moment that laudna said “she makes me so happy!” I literally fell to my knees.

Fearne’s soft little “you are??” After Orym said that he was so glad that she was there with them broke me into a million pieces. Ashley Johnson you’re an ✨actress✨

Laura deciding to end imodna, not because of the moon, not because of the gods, or Delilah briarwood, but because marisha made a bad vex impression. I respect it.

Imogen still has her yellow scarf. This is very important to me.

Imogen praying for laudna to be alright- Destroyed, heart broken, I’ll never recover + Laura and marisha’s little smiles after the scene, when Laura was wiping off her tears😭 + THE FUCKING RAVEN QUEEN. She better scram the fuck away from the girls, cause I’m not ready for vaxleth 2.0. I’m just like imogen, I refuse.

CALLOWMOORE AT THE CLOCK TOWER. I was giggling, kicking my feet - then by the end of it I was like wtf taliesin, what are you cooking? And then fearne ran away 😭

Terrified of the amount of potions being distributed for the next episode… also, excited.

Ashton. It’s just so funny because Imogen was so hesitant about it all the entire way, but she had the circlet. She wasn’t inside Ashton’s head so he got away with it. Marisha’s innocent “what is happening?” To then being explained Ashton’s plan and saying “you’re gonna die” so incredulous, so sad, and everyone’s face after she said that. My heart started speeding up. Just what the actual fuck. The way he treated fearne… I will not be ok with him for a while because of that. He almost killed himself, he almost killed them all. They just burned a bunch of spells and potions and they’re going to the moon… honestly, I don’t think I’ve been this stressed since laudna’s resurrection

It’s just so… Ashton advocating for down time, so that they could remind themselves that they loved each other before anyone did anything stupid… I EXPECTED SOMETHING BUT I DID NOT EXPECT THIS

Just… Fearne… I understand being an asshole, but I do not understand being an asshole to Fearne. The way that he used their friendship to make her do his bidding, straight up awful.

[roleplaybook]

My previous post was about ghosts, too — because that’s the main complaint I see from the roleplay community! I’d also like to touch on dealing with ghosts — ie., keeping your sanity in check when it happens — in a future post. Check out the ghost tag if you’d like to see everything I’ve written on the topic.

Without further ado,

Who Ghosts?

The truth is, most of us, at one point or another. Some of us are deeply ashamed chronic phantoms. Others are proud poltergeists. The shorter answer is this: anyone can be a ghost.

It happens, and sometimes it’s outside our control. This, however, seems to be the rarest form of ghosting, even if it’s the most understandable and one of the most legitimate reasons.

Hell, if you want to get really fuckin’ literal about it (and dark), one day, each and every one of us will “log off” for the last time. There’s a good chance you won’t know it’s your last time, so yeah — in theory, you’re probably going to “ghost” a couple people who won’t know what happened to you.

Hopefully not for a good, long time, though! So, who is more likely to ghost?

The Anxious

That is absolutely not to say anxiety is a red flag in the roleplay community. In fact, I think you would be very fuckin’ hard pressed to find a collaborative writer who doesn’t suffer from anxiety. Maybe this is part of the reason ghosting is so very prolific — but when anxiety is the root cause, the thought process tends to be something like this:

Oh, shit. It’s been a while since I replied, last. My writing partners muse be so tired of me. I should apologize, but I doubt my words mean anything at this point since it keeps happening. Is it awkward to just post, now? If I say something, are they gonna be mad at me?

Alternatively,

I have no idea how to reply to this, but they’re going to blow up at me if I ask them to edit their post — I just know it.

The Depressed

I just can’t scrounge up the energy. What’s another burned bridged? I’ll eventually lose their interest, anyway.

The Oft-Scorned

Yeah, no. Last time I told someone I’d lost interest in the plot, they stalked me across the Internet, doxxed me, threatened my life, and blew up my socials for a month. I’m just gonna dip. ✌

The Distracted

Didn’t I have a post I owed…? Wait, what’s this show? This is— ope, annnnd hyperfixated.

The Too-Kind

It doesn’t feel kind to be ghosted, and maybe it’s ultimately not kind — but these people really do have the best of intentions.

It’s gonna make her so sad if I tell her outright that her writing isn’t quite up to par with my standards. Better to just disappear.

The Oblivious

I’m guilty of this one.

Oh, shit — yeah, makes sense they’d check in. It’s been a while since I replied, last. I’ll let them know I am still totally interested in this plot. Because I am! I AM INTERESTED. I’ll totally reply, I just need a few more days to gather muse. I’ll definitely regain interest in this and it’ll be great.

AKA, some of us need to learn to tell when we’re lying to ourselves and stringing people along unintentionally.

The Takeaway

Ghosting reflects more on the ghost than on the ghostee.

If you’d like to read more about ghosting outside the collaborative writing context, check out this article from Psychology Today.

[geodetojoy]

For the ask game!

-If money weren’t an issue and you didn’t have to worry about work/paying rent/surviving capitalist hellscape what would you do with your life?

-What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever read and why?

-If you go back and relive one memory, which one would it be?

Ooo hello anon!!

Also this gets a bit personal near the end, especially in 3, which I guess is the point, but be warned!!!

1. I gave an answer for this a bit ago, I rb’d mysti’s post (I’m assuming you’re referencing that, I could be wrong)

But I’ll summarize anyway lmao

First, I’d run away. No exact place in mind, just away from where I am now. The only fragments of my past id bring with me are my cats, maybe one irl friend, and my online friends. Everything else, I’d leave behind.

I wanna give my cats the kind of life they deserve, bc right now they live in a basement with quite literally no access to the sun and it fucking breaks my heart.

I’d live somewhere pretty far out from society, likely near some forest, and I’d surround myself with plants and animals. I’d just love to be in a place with little to no light pollution and beautiful scenery. Not only would I love to live it, but I’d love to paint it too.

I’d focus on art more than anything. I’d finish WIPs, I’d have a studio in my house, I’d write, I’d study game design and make games, and so so much more.

I’d catch up on all of the videos and movies and music I need to see/hear

I’d let myself focus even more on my hyperfixations and throw myself into them entirely

And on top of that, I wouldn’t be afraid to accommodate anything for myself. I’d get rid of everything that causes sensory issues, I’d let myself stim constantly, etc. I just wouldn’t be afraid to be me.

(I think there were a few more things that I’m forgetting lmao so if you wanna dig for my last post feel free)

2. This is. The hardest fucking question I’ve ever gotten. How could you anon /j

There’s no way I could give just one answer so you get a list

1. Ok I can’t find a title bc I read this fucking ages ago but I loved it so fucking much it was a Pokémon fic where Ash and his greninja reunited and they had like telepathy, and it threw in a little bit of amourshipping as well which I used to be a huge sucker for. It’s mainly in this list bc of how well I can/could remember it; I would literally recite it to myself any night I couldn’t sleep bc a. I knew it so well and b. I wasn’t allowed on my phone after a certain time. It was also one of the first fanfics I ever read!

OK OK WAIT I FOUND IT ITS CALLED RETURN OF GRENINJA: UNITED BY ALEXANDRIA PRIME ON FANFICTION.NET

2. You Belong To Me by Smytherines!!!! I fucking love Spies Are Forever so fucking much and this fic kills me every time. Let my boys be happy!!!! Let them be soft!!!! Gah it’s just so beautiful and the art in it is fucking incredible!!! I could talk about it forever

3. Burning flames or paradise? Series by Insomnia!!!!!

Gah I love me some Smalletho!!! My boys just need to have a normal fucking conversation for once!!!

I’m also loving all of the new character additions and all of the relationships- I LOVE GEMS CHARACTER IN IT SMMM DUDE

4. To cradle love in open palms by svnnybee!!!!

The first Scarian fic I ever read and GOD is it a good one

Feat. scar being a big dumb boss and Grian being a little mischievous mole (but not for long bc he falls HARD for the guy he’s trying to spy on)

It’s just soooo fucking precious and sweet and I love them ok?

5. There is nothing more artistic than loving someone by Froggiestarrock!!!

Another Scarian one lmao but college au this time!!! Makes me cry every fucking time I read it dude it’s sooo good and we love some well-written disability rep for scar!!!! And aroace mumbo!!!!!

6. Take it all (even though I have nothing left) by Emojiconuser_456!!!

My absolute FAVORITE Qsmp fic

Charlie centric!!! My fav boy

I just looooove the way this is written and I loooove Charlie’s backstory and I loooove the way the slimes/magmas are written it’s all so beautiful and the WORLD BUILDING oh my god.

7. And how could I make this list without mentioning my writer friends!!!!

First we have eowynarchives with your lucky charm!!! A beautifully written treebark fic with wanderer Martyn and wizard ren!!!! I am in love with how it’s going so far it’s such a good story!!!!!

8. And continuing on we have my dearest soul-bound mother CharBeloved :DDDDD

They’ve written tons of stuff but my fav is Missing Memories, which is being rewritten with a new title of Found but Lost!!! It’s a really interesting genloss story with ciphers/puzzles (which I adore) and it’s got some fuckin crazy lore and I love it

9. Not a fic, but an author whose work I adore soooooo dearly!!! Quillandinktwink!!!! They also write spies stuff, curtwen specifically, and I could read all of their work until the end of eternity and never get tired of it. My fav of theirs right now is and you can savor every word which is a silly little confession story bc of silly little curt mega and his silly little hobby of journaling :)

10 ok I am cutting it here but the Ashamed series by TheBananaOwenSlippedOn (omg spies again who could have guessed) is an incredibly written au about Owen’s past (autistic Owen my beloved) and it’s soooooo painfully tragic and it makes me so fucking sad to think about the implications /ref

There’s so so many more that I didn’t include but I just genuinely can’t pick a favorite I just love fanfiction dude

3. Oooo another hard one!!!

I don’t wanna get too sad and depressing lmao but I don’t have too many good memories tbh?? Like I’ve had good experiences, I know I have, I just usually remember the bad ones, or smth happens that ruins what was once a good memory :/

And there’s tons of stuff that I’d love to go back and change, even if just a little bit, but that’s not the question LMAO

But I’ve got some in mind! And you’re getting another list deal with it /lh

1. My first ever dnd session!!! One part specifically that I’m SUPER fucking proud of-

So our party was kidnapped and imprisoned on a boat, and after we broke out we had to fight the crew. My character was a Druid, and she knew the spell Create or Destroy Water. So what I did was destroy the water in the sea surrounding one side of the boat so that the boat would fall backwards, sending everyone on board soaring in that direction :DDDD

My dm also played into this reaaaaaaly well and said that the lanterns lining the walls fell too and set the whole boat aflame it was fuckin AWESOME

2. My first time(s) talking to my moots!!!!! Mads, char, mysti, and now royal, if any of u see this, y’all have been the fuckin best part of my life and ily all so much I’m so glad to have met you :) <333333

3. The day I got two of my four (now one of my two, we have two away) kitties!!! I used to write about this every time we got a narrative writing assignment in school lmaoo so I’ll do a shortened version of that here >:)

So at my public library one summer, they were holding an event called Cat-urday where they brought a bunch of kitties from the local humane society for people to adopt! We went in, just having moved to a new house, planning to get two cats. I would get to pick one and my brother would get to pick another. I wandered around for a bit until one caught my eye. She was a mixed breed, almost resembling a tabby cat but with a white face, stomach, and boots, she was a few weeks old, and she had sprained her wrist trying to reach out of her cage. I picked her up to see if she would like me, and she practically melted into my chest.

Then, when we brought her home, she made my bed her temporary nest until she was fully nursed to health <33333

In summary, I fucking love my cats

(Btw I still have her, her name is snickers and she is so very dear to me :))) )

4. The day my mom discovered that I’m probably autistic

(I’m self diagnosed, that’s the only reason it’s worded like that)

While not necessarily something I remember fondly, it was an extreme fucking relief to hear that, a, someone else saw it too which really fucking helped with imposter syndrome, and b, I didn’t have to hide it anymore bc I thought that everyone I knew was veeeeeery ableist. Don’t get me wrong she’s still not great about it but just her knowing has made things a lot easier

5. Not one in specific, but I’d like to go back to a good time I had with my dad before I cut contact with him. Back when I thought he was a good person. Just so I could remember what it’s like for a lil bit

Edit: 6. I’d go back to the first time I watched spies are forever :))))))) GOD I fucking love that musical

This got….. incredibly long, sorry anon LMAOOOO

[hu5kay]

What it’s like living with Autism and ADHD as an Adult;

Surfaces? Cluttered with random shit, literally no organization anywhere ever

Able to watch an entire series, not remember a damn thing. Don’t even bother to remember names of the characters either

Speaking of names? What’s your name again? I know you told me 50 times already I’m sorry.

I collect Accents in my brain like they are fucking Pokémon cards

Books, movies, albums, games everywhere. Never read, watched, maybe listened to a single song, played that game for 20 minutes and never played it again. More decorations I guess.

Wait, y’all have consistent diets and workout plans? I could never.

Did I pay that bill? *checks my reminders, forgot to set the reminder*

Sorry I didn’t reply to your text, I read it and replied in my head but forgot to type and send it

Rereading an entire chapter cause while reading a certain passage my mind wandered again

I absolutely hate a lot of those “ADHD Lifehack” videos. They don’t work lol

Annoyed by basic human interaction while craving it at the same exact time

Know what a Social Meter is? I memorized mine

Phone calls are terrifying unless I’m 100% comfortable with you. Even then it sometimes can be overstimulating

RIP to all my plants I got when I was hyperfixating on them and forgot about them

I can determine if I want to be friends with you based on a small conversation when we meet. Majority of people I don’t consider friends and will only talk to them to pass time.

A part of my body has to constantly be moving or I get anxiety, fuckin weird amirite

When I’m hyperfixated on a certain hobby, I go hard until I literally burn myself out. I know I do it but I physically can’t stop myself until I’m burnt out. Will probably resume it in a few months though.

Self care means nothing to me

Watching a show that’s more than two seasons is very difficult

I’m able to completely forget about people for months. No I don’t do this on purpose. Lost a lot of friends this way. It hurts to be honest but I understand.

My aesthetic can change QUICK. For example: I can have a 80s style phase, punk or alternative phase, responsible adult phase, outdoorsman phase, and pretty much every style you can think of in the course of a week.

People think I’m fake because I can relate to most things and interests

I can stare off and think of something in depth, forget about it as soon as become aware of my surroundings. (Intense daydreams)

I was labeled as lazy growing up. I literally tried to be the best I could but I mentally couldn’t do anything after school no matter how much I tried.

The fear of never knowing what I want career wise cause my wants change frequently

I have a talent of figuring out other people are autistic based if they are like me in the slightest way. I’m right about 60 to 70% of the time. I don’t tell them though.

I’m easily overwhelmed by basic adult tasks. Can be as simple as dishes or laundry. Bills are debt are a nightmare

The future honestly terrifies me. Good or bad, I naturally stress about everything. No idea why. Planning with me is a nightmare

When I say I don’t care, I genuinely don’t care. I’m not being mean, I’m just passive cause options overwhelm me.

There’s a ton more but if I keep going I’ll get off track more than I already have.

[thebibliosphere]

I had a question.

So, just an hour or two ago, I was going through some sort of “manic high”, sorta like how somebody with bipolar disorder would have (I don’t have BPD). It felt like a bullet train at max speed and completely derailing, and it was incredibly draining. It also got me wondering.

Do people with severe enough ADHD deal with ADHD episodes like this? My search attempts are often futile because all of it is just talking about how to differentiate between BPD and ADHD and BPD manic episodes, but nobody ever mentions ADHD episodes; the only time I’ve seen it mentioned ever was when somebody made a clip of crankgameplays to show what an ADHD episode looked like.

Do they even exist? I’ve got no idea, so I was just wondering if you knew.

Hey! Sorry, I saw your other ask a while ago, but I wanted to talk to my ADHD specialist before I answered because I’d never heard of the term “episode” being used to describe ADHD. I’m also going to splice both questions together here and answer them in segments in the hope it helps :)

So like I said, I’d never heard of the term “episode” with ADHD, and neither has my specialist. Part of ADHD is having a natural ebb and flow between inattention and hyperactivity, sometimes skewed toward one or the other, depending on your ADHD type. (What are the different types of ADHD?)

Your type of ADHD may also fluctuate because of other factors, such as stress, changes in medication, hormonal fluctuations, lack of sleep, overstimulation, or even under-stimulation, to name a few. Another overlooked part of ADHD is emotional dysregulation, which may cause rapid cycling emotions that may look like an “episode” to someone unfamiliar with what that actually qualifies. The way my therapist explained it and using your example of bipolar disorder, “episode” is used in diagnostic criteria to categorize manic or depressive episodes that last X amount of time, are usually severe, potentially requiring hospitalization, and are accompanied by other symptoms not found in ADHD.

Our “bursts” of energy or lack thereof typically don’t last long enough to be considered episodes. This isn’t to say they are not severe or debilitating, especially if you suffer from things like anxiety or depression that ADHD can feed into. Merely that “episode” is not used as part of the language used to discuss ADHD, which is likely why you’re not finding anything.

So, do ADHDers experience intense bursts of energy that are draining afterward? Yeah, we can do, especially if we lean more toward hyperactive than inattentive. (And again, it's normal to fluctuate and also for things to be affected or worsened by secondary factors.)

And I'm going to put the rest under the cut because this is hella long.

I’ve seen some people think that all hyperactivity has to come with fixation, but that’s not how ADHD works. It’s true if something gets us excited or gives us a dopamine boost, we might be more prone to becoming hyperfixated and burn all our energy up on that. But you don’t need something to fixate on to experience hyperactivity. Some of us are just wired to the moon sometimes, and yes, it can be very draining when it ends. Some people find medication helpful in regulating their hyperactivity/preventing it from coming in such big swings and dips.

Speaking personally, when I'm hyper and nothing is grabbing my attention, the world and people around me can feel painfully slow. It's like I'm going a mile a minute doing everything but achieving nothing. The crash that comes after can also be particularly bad, as I also have dysthymia, which can tip over into a major depressive episode depending on other factors in my life at that time. For years I was misdiagnosed as having "probably Bipolar Type II" by a doctor who didn't believe teenage girls could "get" ADHD* and convinced my parents I needed psychoactive drugs. The drugs I was on didn't help, in fact, they made me worse so I was taken off them.

It wasn't until I found an ADHD specialist as an adult a few years ago that I made any real progress. And I'll be honest, I was shocked when she diagnosed me with ADHD, I really didn't think I had it. Right up until we started doing the work and slowly but surely my mental health began to improve and my understanding of myself with it.

Sometimes there are days when I will be wired to the moon and it will derail my entire day because I can't focus on a single thing/I'll focus too much on a single thing. Other times, like when I am closer to my menstrual cycle, I'll crash into inattentiveness and depression because of how my hormones affect my various different conditions, including my ADHD. Medication would likely help with this, but due to medical reasons, that's currently not an option for me so I do the best I can.

That said, if you’re experiencing something more than hyperactivity but it's not mania, you may be experiencing a form of hypomania and you should talk to a doctor about your concerns.

Hypomania typically occurs in Bipolar Type II disorder, which is less severe than the manic episodes in Bipolar I. I’ve experienced both manic and hypomanic episodes in my life due to medication interactions, and they felt very different from ADHD hyperactivity. It's not just derailing mile-a-minute thoughts, it's something usually completely mood-altering and out of control feeling followed by devastating crashes.

If you're on any medications and are worried you are experiencing something like this, you need to talk to your doctor. You might just need a dosage tweak, or you might be better off on a different medication altogether. Also, make a thorough check of any and all medications you are taking to check for any interactions.

I'm on a cocktail of meds for my MCAS, which if I were to combine them with the SSRI one of my doctors wants me to try, would result in serotonin syndrome. The doctor didn't notice this, but the pharmacist sure as shit did!

Some people (ask me how I know) even develop mild hypomania from overusing the sunlamps used to treat SAD (link), which is why brands like Verilux now include warnings in their leaflets about not using the lamps for more than X amount of time a day. Thankfully it goes away once you stop overusing the lamps.

Which actually brings me to something you asked last time about being unable to sleep at night. Insomnia and delayed sleep phase cycles are not uncommon in ADHD. This is likely because our circadian rhythm is thought to be out of whack (link).

You also mentioned having racing thoughts at night too, which is not uncommon either with hyperactivity. I find if I get overstimulated before trying to sleep, I’ll end up lying there awake with what I like to call “radio ADHD” playing in my head. It can range from snippets of songs stuck on repeat, conversations, things I’ve watched on TV, arguments, or if something is happening the next day, fixating on not being late for it. Hence, I end up getting no sleep because you can’t accidentally sleep in if you don’t sleep. *jazz hands of despair.*

Sometimes I find Radio ADHD soothing if it’s fixating on something chill, but it can get annoying fast and even distressing if I’m tired and can’t “change the station.” (I’d say “shut it off,” but as of yet, I’ve never been able to do that. Medication helps some people with this, as can looking into “sleep hygiene” if you haven’t already.) Conversely, if I’m bored or something is too stressful, I will 100% fall asleep because my brain would literally rather just turn off than do something I don’t want to do or is a low dopamine reward task.

Brains are fun.

Anyway, I uh, I am not sure if any of this is useful to you, but I hope it helps. Mostly I'm just repeating back what my specialist said when I asked her about it lol. Good luck, and I hope you figure things out.

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*NB: It's important to note that ADHD and Bipolar Disorder can be comorbid. It's not a one or the other situation. I’m just throwing it out there in case hearing that helps someone else pursue the proper diagnosis!

[pyroclastic727]

Is Amity autistic?

In the Owl House fandom, we hear a lot about how Luz is written to be ADHD. Now I would like to present the flipside: Amity is coded as autistic.

Here’s the breakdown.

Amity is touch-averse. “BuT aMiTy ToUcHeS LuZ aLL tHe TiMe” nice try. The key to autistic touch-aversion is only being okay with touch when she initiates it. And that totally matches up with Amity. See, Amity is really happy when she initiates touch with Luz. She’s also cool with it when Luz holds her hand after standing near her for enough time that Amity can predict an incoming touch. That’s because Amity consents to that touch and expects it.

But when other people touch her? She doesn’t take kindly to that. When Luz initially bumped into her at Covention, she snapped at her and degraded her. Even when she bumped into Luz in Enchanting Grom Fright, her initial instinct was to snap at Luz, since she didn’t expect to be touched. When Hooty touched Amity’s face without consent, she flipped out and beat him up. Not even Lilith beat Hooty up when he wrapped her up in his mucus-filled tube, but Amity gave Hooty the injuries we all wanted to see him with, because he breached her boundaries without her consent. Even as late as the last episode, Amity fell over when her face got close to Luz’s on the bleachers, because she didn’t expect it.

Amity stims. Okay, this one took me a while to catch, since most of the time, Amity is very controlled with her actions. This symptom isn’t very intense; her senses aren’t understimulated too often, and she really only does it when she’s really excited.

Mainly, when Luz offered to carry her. While she adorably scrambled for words, she also flapped her hands against her legs. At first I thought it was just a cute thing she did, but there’s more to it. She was so excited to be held by Luz that it showed up in her hands flapping...a common stim. With Amity feeling more comfortable around her new friends than the old ones, I wouldn’t be surprised to see more stimming in the future.

Amity always has The Mask as her expression. You know, the one with her eyes half-lidded, eyebrows raised, mouth slightly downturned. I also call it the Resting Blight Face, for...reasons.

At first I thought it was just a way to hide her true emotions, since her parents are assholes. But even though Luz makes her feel accepted, she keeps doing it. It’s more like...you know that feeling when you’re thinking really hard, or uncomfortable, or ashamed, or even just relaxed, and you can’t think of which expression to wear quickly enough, so you put on an unreadable one to tide people over? Apparently most people don’t do that, since allistic people tend to have expressions for those feelings, ones that arise naturally.

Another symptom of autism is having hard-to-read expressions, or being less expressive. In Amity’s case, it’s the fact that she doesn’t see a need to have an expression in calmer moments, so she just uses her usual expression.   

Amity hyperfixates. This has several facets, so I’ll break this down.

She initially hyperfixated on school. And that’s how she became top student. Amity Blight is who you would mistake for a “gifted student.” But make no mistake...she is not gifted, and gifted is a bullshit label used to overexert people and force them to keep school as their special interest for their entire lives (and I may have a bit of a vendetta against it). Anyways, we already know she’s a perfectionist. My theory is that Amity originally was hyperfocused on school--the Abominations track, to be exact--and that’s part of how she got so good. Then, her focus shifted, but the school expected her to keep being top student. Cue the perfectionism; she was no longer able to focus on school like she wanted to, but everyone expected her to, so she got insecure about it.

She hyperfixates on Azura, just like Luz did. Yeah, she keeps it secret from the world, for most of the time. But she definitely likes Azura a lot. I mean, she started to reconsider her opinion on Luz when Luz offered her an Azura book. She destroyed her jock career because she tried to use an Azura move in real-life Grudgby. Her interest in Azura is long-lived, starting about the time that her interest in school would have expired (which would explain why she stayed closeted). And we can’t ignore the fact that she sees Azura in Luz and is definitely enjoying the parallels between herself and her fictional counterpart. (Which might not be a coincidence, but that’s an entirely different theory).

She hyperfixates on Luz. Yes, part of this is a crush. But a lot of us have watched Amity’s personality go from alpha bitch to cutest little bean in the Boiling Isles, all thanks to Luz’s influence. Lumity is not a rivals-to-lovers speedrun due to bad writing, it’s due to Amity hyperfixating. She’s already extremely introspective, going so far as to keep a diary where she analyzes and makes sense of herself. It’s not a stretch to say that she identified the faults that kept her from Luz and worked hard to change those off-screen. 

Amity keeps a journal. To me, this seems like masking. You see, Amity is what people would consider to be high-functioning, since she can pass for allistic. But in order to do this, she has to put in significant effort on her part. See, when she does something that makes it so she doesn’t pass, she just sees it as a problem (since she probably doesn’t know about autism, and she passes well enough that she would totally be undiagnosed). Then she tries to fix the problem, in order to keep being perfect. 

Amity has awkward body language. Thanks to the journal and other ways of masking, you don’t see this early on. But once she feels comfortable enough around Luz to let her guard down...she completely forgets boundaries. To review: in episodes 15-17, she throws herself at Luz, holds her formal rival’s hand for 24.71 seconds, blushes every time she sees Luz, and loudly declares her thirsty thoughts about Luz in uniform before literally running away. While some of this can be seen as normal gal pal things or crush things...you’d think a repressed wlw like Amity would try very hard not to touch Luz, so as to avoid being outed. Or at least she would do less of that stuff, so as to respect Luz’s boundaries the way she wants her boundaries to be respected. But that’s not the case, since she straight-up misses a lot of social cues. And since she feels comfortable around Luz, she doesn’t feel the pressure to be so paranoid about the cues, and can be her awkward self. From her point of view, she probably sees it as being freed from her parents’ judgment.

Amity takes things literally, sometimes. Now, this doesn’t happen all the time, since she isn’t heavily affected by this autistic trait. But when Luz says “I’m picking up what you’re putting down” and Amity says “I’m not putting down anything” and looks down...she not only missed the conclusion Luz drew from her words, but also assumed a literal meaning from her words. I can’t come up with many other instances of this, mostly because this doesn’t happen often. I would assume that Amity missed these a lot early on, and learned how to mask/identify them.

Amity is easily upset when things don’t go as planned. Let’s review these. In the library, she gets really mad at Luz when they end up stitched to a book, and it takes Luz’s sweet personality to get Amity to loosen up and laugh over it. When she goes to practice magic, and Luz steals her wand and uses it to get her siblings kidnapped, Amity locks Luz in a cage and assumes that she will get badly injured if she tries to fix the problems she caused. When Luz comes to her school, she panics and focus on how that doesn’t change anything. When she burns Willow’s mind, she appears absolutely terrified of being punished, flinching and bracing for impact when Luz finds her near the memories, constantly trying to distract Luz as they work together to save Willow, and hiding behind Luz when she confronts the Inner Willow. When Luz asks her to join her in Grudgby, Amity doesn’t initially agree, instead taking much more of the episode to come to terms with her involvement in it.

Amity likes predictability. She’s not attached to routines, but she does like being able to expect things. If she makes a plan for the day, she expects that day to adhere to that plan, and she doesn’t respond well when it changes. When Luz comes to her school, she focus on how that doesn’t change anything...not how that would ruin things or complicate things. Whenever she gets involved in Luz’s shenanigans, she either gets angry, scared, or takes a while to accept it. In a broader sense, she takes a while to accept that Luz and her shenanigans are a permanent fixture in her life--sixteen episodes, to be exact.

Finally, it would make for some excellent representation. An ADHD Dominican-American bisexual protagonist is pretty groundbreaking. But an ADHD Dominican-American bisexual protagonist girl who dates an autistic wlw witch girl from another dimension is exactly the kind of intersectional representation you’d expect to see from an unrestricted Owl House crew.

...Now, this might just be me hardcore projecting. I’m a little scared to post this because I don’t know how much of this is me reading into imaginary things, or trying to convince myself that Amity is like me. Feel free to debate/disprove me or support me in the comments. 

[dem-obscure-imagines]

Try

Warren Worthington III x Reader

Fandom: Marvel/X-Men

Summary: Warren has been through hell and then some, but will meeting his soulmate turn that around?

Note: That’s right, it’s ya girl, back on my BS. I watched Apocalypse again and BIG SURPRISE, I’m in love with Warren and Kurt all over again. Still hyperfixating on Pietro also, so…expect more fics for him as well. Anyway, I’m a ho for soulmate aus and I haven’t written one for birb boi in literal years, so here ya go.

Reader is: Gender Neutral

Warnings: swears, mentions of alcohol

Word Count: 2.8k

Warren knew one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt: he didn’t deserve a soulmate. He didn’t. There was no question in his mind. Anyone who was destined to end up with his winged, alcoholic ass had been fucked over by the universe. No one deserved to be stuck with him for the rest of their lives. And yet, these thoughts didn’t seem to erase the words written on his forearm:

Hey, um, you’re Warren, right? The Professor wanted me to talk to you.

Professor. He scoffed. He was never going to college. If his parents had gotten their way, their son “cured” of his wings, he would have ended up at Harvard or Yale or somewhere similar. But it was far too late for that. Sitting in a cage in the back room of an illegal underground mutant fighting club in Berlin…it was far too late for that. He’d probably die before he met his soulmate anyway, rendering the prophecy on his wrist—and theirs, for that matter—useless. A waste of space.

That was all he was anyway.

He spiraled. His dependence on vodka got worse. The fights got harder. He wasn’t making it out unscathed anymore, winding up with burns and scrapes and cuts, depending on what kind of mutant he was up against. One night, one of his cuts had gotten dangerously close to the writing on his wrist. He stared at it for a long time, tears burning his eyeballs until they escaped and dripped down his cheeks, angry and hot.

He hated it, but even after everything, he still had hope. He still had hope that things would get better; that he could be better, even if it seemed impossible.

And then it got…worse.

Apocalypse had come, turned his wings to metal, tuned into his anger, his rage at the world, turned him into a monster, complete with knives for feathers and winding tattoos framing his face. He wished he could blame it on mind control or something, but Apocalypse hadn’t brainwashed him, only used his anger against him. Turned him into a weapon.

And then everything went black.

When he woke up after the battle, he was in an unfamiliar room, large and white and sterile; it smelled like hand sanitizer. He heard the steady beeping of a heart monitor and when he sat up, he noticed how sore he was. His whole body hurt. His head spun. But he was alive. And when he looked down at his tattoo, the words were still there. Wherever his soulmate was, they were fine. His stupidity in joining Apocalypse hadn’t caused anything to happen to them.

For the first time in what felt like years, he breathed.

“You’re awake.” A voice said as a tall man with brown hair entered his room. “I’ll let the Professor know.”

“Where…” his deep voice rasped and the man pointed to a glass of water sitting on the table adjacent to the cot he was situated in. He picked it up and took a few long, greedy sips, not realizing just how thirsty he was until the cool drink hit his tongue. “Where am I? What is this place?”

“This is the infirmary at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.” The man told him, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “You’re safe here.”

Warren nodded hesitantly, but didn’t say anything else. Safe. The word was almost a myth to him at this point. But at least he felt like he could rest for a little while.

***

It had been a few weeks since Apocalypse and his horsemen had almost ended the world. Erik had decided to stick around, and two of the younger horsemen, Storm and “the Angel of Death,” respectively, had been absorbed into the school’s student body. You didn’t know the Angel’s name. No one really talked to him, not even Ororo, Storm, who had been quickly adopted by your friend group.

Supposedly, Peter had tried to talk to the Angel guy, but he didn’t say anything to him. Ororo theorized he probably felt guilty about the whole thing. She did. But you all knew she didn’t know what Apocalypse was really trying to do. He probably hadn’t either, but that didn’t seem to keep the grim expression off of his face.

It was on a nice, sunny day that Xavier called you into his office, and you went down without complaint, knocking on the door a few times before he called you inside. You sat in the chair across from his desk.

“Hi, Professor. What’s going on?” You asked.

“Ah, yes. Just the empath and healer I wanted to see.” He smiled brightly. “(Y/N), if you don’t mind it too terribly, I have a small job for you.”

“Of course! What do you need?”

“I’m sure you’ve seen our newest pupil, Warren, around.”

You thought for a moment. “The, uh, guy with the wings? The big metal ones?”

“Precisely.” He nodded. “Warren…he’s been having quite a hard time adjusting.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“He came to me yesterday discussing…well, quite simply, he was wondering if any of our mutants here would be capable of…reverting him to his previous state. His wings, before Apocalypse, were made of feathers. They’ve been serving as quite a reminder to him and it’s been weighing pretty heavily on him, both literally and emotionally.”

“Yeah, I’ve, uh, caught his vibes from across campus.” You nodded. “It’s like there’s always a rain cloud hanging over his head.”

“Yes,” Xavier agreed. “It doesn’t have to be right away, but at your nearest convenience, if you see him around, would you talk to him? Tell him I sent you?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see what I can do.” You promised him.

As an empath and a healer, your first priority was helping others. And even if he was known to be a bit intimidating, you wanted to help him if you could.

So, you walked out of Xavier’s office, attended your final class of the day, and when it was over, you wandered out into the courtyard where, because of the nice weather, students were everywhere. And luckily for you, just as you suspected he might be, Warren was sitting under a tree, still sporting his leather jacket despite the warm weather.

You shielded your eyes from the sun and walked over towards him, your heart racing as you built up the courage to talk to him. So, you took a breath and said, “Hey, um, you’re Warren, right? The Professor wanted me to talk to you.”

He stared up at you for a long moment, his green eyes wide in shock. He took a breath, blinked a few times, glanced down at his wrist, and then back up at you. You could have sworn you saw tears beginning to form along his waterline, and you didn’t realize why until he said, “You’re my…No…Oh my God…I’m…I’m so sorry.”

You froze, your knees going weak. You glanced down at your bare forearm and read over the words he’d just said, exactly the way he’d just said them.

You’re my…No…Oh my God…I’m…I’m so sorry.

“Why are you sorry?” You whispered, lowering yourself onto the grass beside him, not trusting your legs to support your weight for much longer. Now you were the one with tears in your eyes. “Don’t be sorry.”

“You deserve so much more than me.” He insisted, his eyes locked on his boots, unwilling and unable to meet your gaze. “I can’t drag you into…this. Me.”

His emotions were heavy, a bleak blue and gray haze and you felt it radiate off of him in waves. His pain, his everything. And you felt it, deep within his chest. He thought you wouldn’t want him anyway.

“Warren…” You shook your head. “Why…Why would you think I don’t want you?”

He was shocked into silence for a few seconds, thinking over his words carefully, his jaw tense and hands shaking. “You’re a telepath?”

“Empath.” You corrected quietly. “And…a healer. Which is why Xavier sent me.”

“Oh. Right.” He swallowed thickly, nodding. “Did he…tell you why?”

“He did.” You smiled softly. “And I’m willing to try if you are.”

Finally, his eyes met yours and he could tell that you meant more than just the healing when you said it. The weak little voice in the back of his head was screaming for him to push you away like he pushed away everyone else, but looking into your eyes, a genuine and warm smile on your face, he just…couldn’t lose you.

He couldn’t lose anyone else.

***

Today was the day. Warren was sitting on a stool in the infirmary. Hank had run his vitals and the two of them were in the room waiting for you to come down after your class was over.

“(Y/N) is the one who saved you, you know.” Hank told Warren while he jotted down some notes.

“What?” Warren asked, snapping out of whatever daydream he had been caught up in. “What do you mean?”

“(Y/N) found you in the rubble. We didn’t think you would make it, but…they healed you. They insisted we bring you back here. Give you a chance.”

Warren was quiet for a long time, thinking about what that meant. Part of him wondered if (Y/N) had known back then that he was their soulmate, but he decided that would have been impossible with just their tattoos alone. Especially without context. They hadn’t known and yet, they’d still wanted the best for him.

“Didn’t know that.” Warren said, his voice soft and deep. He stared at the words on his wrist for a little longer, a hint of warmth swirling around in his stomach. Was this happiness? Was that what happiness felt like? He barely remembered anymore. But he knew there must have been a reason that when you walked through the door, his heart started beating a little bit faster.

“Sorry I’m so late. Professor Leaf kept us a little later than she was supposed to. Are you ready?” You asked taking off your backpack and setting it against the wall. As soon as you looked up at Warren, you felt the way his heart rate was increased and you didn’t miss the warmth swirled with the anxiousness. The anxiousness, you had expected. Even you didn’t know if you could pull off what you were going to attempt to do, but the warmth…it was a pleasant surprise.

“Don’t worry about it.” He told you, shaking his head. Was he…was he smiling? It was a small smile, sure, but you didn’t think you had ever seen him smile before. It looked good on him. “I’m ready when you are.”

“Alright.” You nodded, walking over towards him. Underneath where he was situated on a stool, Hank had laid out some pads from the training room, you assumed, to catch his metal feathers if they fell out rather than transforming back to his normal…feather feathers. None of you really knew how this would unfold. “Again, I’m not sure this will work. I don’t want to get your hopes up in case it doesn’t.”

“I’m not expecting it to.” Warren assured you, but it wasn’t in a rude way. “If it does, I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Cross my heart.” What he didn’t say was: You could never disappoint me. Not even if you tried.

“Okay.” You nodded, taking a few steps closer until you were standing right in front of him. He looked up at you and for the first time, you didn’t feel any negative emotions from him. Only anticipation and that lingering warmth. “Here goes nothing.”

You focused on the warmth in your own chest, the tingling yellow healing power that constantly swirled around your heart, and you forced it into your palms. You reached forward for his hands and he took the hint, his larger hands wrapping around yours.

Immediately, he gasped at the sensation, warm tingles running up his arms, down his spine. It stopped in the center of his back, right where his wings intersected with his body. At first, he didn’t feel anything. And then, he felt everything. The pleasant warmth flooded his metal wings, and one by one, the knife-like feathers fell out, each one landing with a thud against the mat situated underneath him.

Hank’s pencil jotted against his notebook as he took notes. He knew you were powerful, but he’d had no idea you were capable of something like this.

Neither had you.

Once the metal wings were gone, Warren felt a new sensation: another pair of wings, this one soft and familiar, slowly emerging from him. Part of him expected the process to be painful, like the one Apocalypse had forced upon him was, but it wasn’t. Warren chuckled to himself. Of course you would never hurt him. Not even unintentionally.

After a few minutes, the feathery wings had fully emerged, stretched out to his full former wingspan and he stared up at you in awe. You stopped your flow of power to him, but he held onto your hands, squeezing them to keep them in his grasp.

He looked back at his new wings, flexed them and moved them. They felt familiar, like they had always belonged to him.

“Thank you.” He said, giving your hands another squeeze, the warmth in his chest brighter and bolder than it had been before. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course.” You told him, squeezing his hands right back in a way that caused his heart to lurch. “I’m glad I could help.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but do you mind if I keep some of these for research?” Hank asked.

“Keep all of them, if you want. I don’t want them.” Warren told him, standing up from his stool, his hands still in yours. “So, um…do you want to go grab dinner or something?”

“Sure.” You nodded, smiling up at him. “See you later, Hank.”

“Bye, guys, have a nice night.” Hank said as you and Warren walked out of his lab. He couldn’t help but notice the way one of your hands remained in one of his as the two of you left.

***

Later that night, after dinner and after you and Warren had split for the evening, you were walking back to your room from Jean and Jubilee’s and you found Warren, lingering in his doorway, his toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. His eyes widened when he spotted you and he held up a finger, indicating you should wait for him, so you did while he went into his bathroom and rinsed out his mouth, returning a few moments later.

“Hey.” He said, the word casual as it fell from his pink lips.

“Hey yourself.” You chuckled, feeling ridiculously underdressed in your pajamas. But then again, he was wearing his pajamas, too, a large black Metallica shirt and a pair of plaid pants.

“How…how are you? Feeling?” He stumbled over his words, chuckling as he rubbed the back of his neck. You felt a wave of nervousness rush through him. “Hank said sometimes you get tired after, uh, bigger healing jobs?”

“I’m fine.” You nodded. “For whatever reason, I never get tired when I’m healing you.” You chuckled, your cheeks heating up the slightest bit. “Well…I think I know why…”

“Heh, yeah.” He nodded, mulling over his next words very carefully. “Did you, um…I don’t know how to ask this. Did you mean what you said about…trying? About us trying…this. Trying us.”

“Of course I did.” You nodded and took a few steps closer to him. “You’re my soulmate.” You reached for his hand and he gave it to you, letting you play with his fingers. You felt the way his heart fluttered when you did. “Of course I want to try.”

“I’m broken.” He told you. “I’ve never done this before. I’m…I’m a lot, and I know that.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m a healer, huh?” You tilted your head. “And if we’re being honest, I’ve never done this before either. So how about we teach each other? Learn together?”

He smiled softly, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”

You let go of his hand and instead took the last few steps between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his torso. He froze for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. It had been…a long time since anyone had hugged him. But after a few moments, his arms got the hint and wrapped around you, pulling you to his chest. He rested his head atop yours and exhaled a long, long breath. And for the first time since you’d met him, you felt a wave of peace wash over him, encasing him entirely as his wings gently cocooned you in their warmth.

You felt his lips brush against your temple, pressing a soft kiss there. You looked up at him and his eyes met yours before fluttering shut as he leaned in to press his lips to yours.

[aceofwhump]

Guys

The Weeping Monk.

The Weeping Monk has become my new obsession. I love him. I knew I would because seeing all the gifs of him in tumblr is why I watched in the first place I didn't not expect for him to capture my interest so much. It's not the strongest hyperfixation I've ever had but it is one nonetheless and I'm thrilled. Welcome the list of "Ace's Favorite Whumpees"!!

SPOILERS ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously I got ramble and let some spoilers loose so if you want to watch it still and don't want spoilers just keep scrolling

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So not only is Daniel Sharman fucking gorgeous but Daniel Sharman looking like this?

With the eyes and the hood and the darkness and the scruff. Oh hell yeah! He's like some omen of death with that cloak. I love it.

So why do I like the Weeping Monk so much?

Well first of all I LOVE A GOOD REDEMPTION STORY!!!!! Like so much! I blame Zuko for that. But if you give me a bad dude who's done some bad shit but also has one hell of a traumatic past then put him on a path of redemption and healing? I’M SOLD! And at the end of the season, The Weeping Monk has been set on his redemption beginnings and I will die if Netflix doesn't give us a season 2 so I can see this boy walk his new path towards redemption and healing. I crave it.

But anyway. This man right here. The emotional angst and whump he exudes is so lovely.

Towards the end of the season we find out that he's Fey and I fucking lost my shit. This boy is a Fey who was raised by the people who hate Fey. His people were killed and he was taken as a child by the same people who murdered them. He was then brainwashed to believe he was demon born and evil and a sinner purely for existing and was taught to punish himself for it (he whips himself in a form of self flagellation!) and I'm sure he was punished for all sorts of things growing up by his "Father". The amount of self hate and self doubt he must feel breaks my heart. He knows he's Fey! He remembers his real name (also that reveal sent me to another plane of existence) so he must have some memories of his family and his people. But he's spent his whole life being used as a weapon against his own people and brainwashed into thinking he was saving them because fey are inherently damned. And that's all he is to the Red Paladins. A weapon. But he sees them as his people, his family because that's all he knows!

This dude is so broken and brainwashed and lost it just breaks my heart.

LOOK AT HIM!! Look at this lost and broken boy!! He just needs some love and affection dammit!! I mean he flat out asks "Do you love me Father?" AHHH!!

And oh my god this conversation between him and Gawain?!

Allow me to share the whole conversation because I need to talk about it.

Gawain: Don’t be afraid Ash Man. I don’t bite. It’s those eyes. The mark of the Ash Fold. There haven’t been any in these lands for centuries. How did you find your way here? Have you just come to watch me die?

The Weeping Monk: Why didn’t you tell them? Before...you could have told them. But you didn’t. Why?

G: Because all Fey are brothers. Even the lost ones

WM: This suffering, it will cleanse you.

G: You parrot these words, but you know it’s all lies. I can feel it in you, my brother.

WM: You are not my brother.

G: They have turned your mind so far inside out...that you don’t know the difference between kindness...and hate. Who did this to you?

WM: We are saving souls. Your soul.

G: Tell that to the little ones that you burn.

WM: I don’t harm the children

G: You burn their homes, you slay their mothers and their fathers, and you watch your Red Brothers run them down on horses. And you see it all through those weeping eyes. That makes you guilty. Brother! You can fight. I’ve never seen anything like it. You could be our greatest warrior. Your people need you.

WM: You are not my people.

G: Then tell them. If this is where you belong, tell them what you are.

WM: I’ll pray for you.

G: And I you.

First of all this conversation is the reason I now ship these two. Just saying. Gawain saw that he was kin, that he was lost, that he was broken and reached out to try and help him even though he is the reason he is being tortured. I can’t with these two! But also, the WM felt guilty about turning him in and worried about his own fate but you can tell that Gawain’s words sink in and set something inside of him and it’s because of Gawain that WM is now on this path of his. AND Gawain! I fully expected him to hate this man after everything hes done but he saw a lost and broken fey brother and tried to help him and I just...Gawain is so good you guys! This whole exchange is just *chefs kiss*. Cause after this the WM saves Squirrel.

Which leads me to Squirrel and the Weeping Monk. The other reason I desperately need season 2 is because I can't wait to see this unexpected pairing. I mean come on, big bag tough guy with trauma becomes unexpectedly joined with a young child? Best trope ever. Plus he got his ass kicked pretty bad and I need season 2 start off with that so I can see Squirrel take care of this injured man. Anyway, these two are going to have a great adventure getting back to the Fey and I NEED TO SEE IT!!! I want to see Squirrel and Lancelot bond and Squirrel defend him against Fey who hate him and for Lancelot to reluctantly become attached and defensive of this Fey boy and AHHHHHH!!

Oh and side note: One of my favorite tropes occurred. Defeated in battle, manhandled to their knees and hood pulled off revealing their bruised and bloody face. God yes please.

Time for some headcanons:

Okay he's totally touch starved am I right? This boy hasn't known a kind touch in his whole life. Pain is all he's known. The Paladins only touch to punish him or wield him. And he thinks he deserves it. He deserves the pain. The punishment. But kindness? A soft touch? Someone tending his injuries gently? He doesnt know what to do it that. He ends up stiffening or flinching away from the blinds hands of the fey, confused at first but slowly he starts to crave that kind touch.

Squirrel is always hugging him. Like whenever he sees him. And WM doesnt know what the fuck to do with that. You think he ever for hugged? I DOUBT IT! So hes all stiff and awkward and kind of bears it but after a while he starts hugging back kind of awkwardly.

Oh and speaking of tending his injuries I can almost guarantee that he has either had to tend to his own injuries in the past or he didn't do anything for them at all. But he's in a Fey camp now and the Fey help each other so when he and squirrel first show up at the camp and a he's taken to a healer and at first he balks and is like "I'm fine" but people like Pym and Squirrel and Gawain (YES GAWAIN! I have thoughts hang on) are like clearly you're not so just sit down before fall down again and let Pym heal you! AND then we get a scene of them all seeing the scars and fresh lashes and being horrified

Okay Gawain. He's not dead and he and Lancelot become best bros (or lovers cause I kind of ship them so much. Forget Nimulot. It's Gawain and Lancelot all the way) and Gawain protects him from the Fey who want to kill him after Squirrel and Lancelot arrive at the makeshift Fey camp and he's taken prisoner. Gawain watches him and see his humanity and goodness and self hate and trauma and Lancelot has someone who sees him as a "brother" as someone lost but not irredeemable and they fall in love okay bye

His powers as one of the Ash Folk. We know he can track. But from what we saw what if he's also got some camouflage or healing abilities hes never explored. NEVER EXPLORED BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT A MANIFESTATION OF HIS INNER DEMON!!!

Also, I saw these two onset pics and now I'm ready for this to be s2 WM and Squirrel.

Okay rant over. Sorry. Bye now ✌

[where-is-my-beheading-ceremony]

More headcannons since I have nothing better to do and I'm hyperfixating on nexo knights this evening

-Post season 4, Jestro tried to escape the kingdom before his sentence was over, wanting to start life anew with the company of Roberto maybe since they're the only one who were still okay with him

-He almost managed. When I mentioned all the electrical charge he still had in him, he used it to cut out the power in the place he was held in and ended up knocking out all the dependent power in the capital. After that he barely had any charge left in him, which is good since it's not supposed to be there in the first place

-Only after the knights caught him was when they were willing to listen to his side of the story

-After that, he stayed with the knights in the fortrex and was able to roam around towns freely if there was someone keeping watch on him. Forests and other places were okay though

-Jestro has some minor sourness towards Merlok because of multiple small reasons and refuses to see him as a hero to all of Knightonia

-He criticizes (in his mind) his lack of thinking when protecting the kingdom, his lack of ability to keep Monstrox as a book away, the fact they never got rid of him, how he hid the fact he's Clay's uncle, how quick he is to give up and how much he found out the Wizard council is corrupt which Merlok is a part of. Also the fact he probably keeps even more secrets, said straight to his face "Can't wait for you to reveal another major secret when it's too late." and to be truthful, Jestro is right for not fully trusting Merlok, they have many secrets that shouldn't be left hidden.

TW: MENTIONS OF SCARS (safe to read after the " - - - - - "line)

.

.

.

.

- Jestro has a large lightning shaped scar that goes down the left side of his back and reach till his calfs

- He also has scars from being zapped in the head, but his hair is puffy and long enough to cover them fully since they're not at the top of his head

-A few burn scars are just scattered around his body from his first possession. Living in a castle of lava was dangerous even though he had a minor immunity to it

-He never dared to let go of the staffs he had and managed to keep excellent guard on them, his grip on them always vicious. It resulted in calloused palms.

-Since it always annoyingly stung, he had bandages wrapped around his palms to let them heal a bit

-During his second possession, Jestro was very detached from most of his senses and emotions. All he knew is that he was alive and served the purpose of bringing chaos and destruction.

-That caused him to be less receptive to things he should avoid, like anything that could lightly harm him, jumping off of high places, falling, bruising himself on accident. His body wasn't in a state that a human could bare so he never even noticed if he was cold or not, it wasn't natural blood that was flowing through his veins after all.

-unfortunately there definitely are lives that were lost to his hands

--------------------------------------

-Looking at him in seasons 3-4 just made me cold. Man barely had any of his outfit left

-He's a runner, he's a trackstar. This young man can run further than any of the knights. He's ran away from dangers and problems his whole life. He's short, but his legs are relatively long and he doesn't find it hard to run since he's trained to be light on his feet.

-His flexibility is frightening. You will see him casually relaxing in an unnatural position for sure. He would often use his flexibility as a sort of intimidation thing in seasons 3-4, looking like some type of spider with his body movement. If he were to start approaching you, his ragdoll body would seem a lot more terrifying than you first may think

-He offers to help the Knights do some flexibility exercises since their lack of ability to even do a decent split pains him

-Since he stays with the knights post season 4, that's when he starts to help them exercise and spends more time with them casually as well as joins them for morning runs

-With a little help, he decided to make himself useful and with enough knowledge, became a sort of aid to the knights, helping them with any injuries after battles or training.

-The best weapon he can work with is a spear or daggers (anything light), though he still refuses to train with any weapon.

-This poor man now avoids any sort of magic like it's a plague, afraid to get involved with it as his body is too receptive to it.

-He still encourages Clay to carefully train his magic though.

-This man surprisingly has some knowledge of programming (inspired by the season 5 episode 1 script)

-Due to that, he sort of found something he could talk about with Robin and Ava. And even if he doesn't know much, he knows enough to keep the conversation going

-He got along with Ava and Robin pretty quickly and enjoys the fact they don't try and expect something from him

-Since he's usually in the fortrex while the Knights are on missions, he ended up spending enough time with these two children to become a sort of big brother, caretaker figure. Not a big one, but he still tries to help them

-He understands Ava and Robin a lot and doesn't enjoy the pressure that is always placed on the two of them since they're still young so if there's any way for him to deny any non priority requests the knights have for the two of them, he doesn't hesitate to do so unless it's something Ava and Robin want to work on

-After a nightmare, Jestro gets very bad, but thankfully temporary paranoia and there's no reasoning with him, best to try and comfort him and wait it out.

-He once tried to visit the lava village since he doesn't remember the negative view the lava monsters have on him

-He considered himself to not be too harsh on them since he sometimes encouraged breaks and would spoil them with tasty treats, just like he later did with the stone monsters, even when he was a lot more detached around that time.

-Turns out, the Lava monsters were n o t glad to see him, but thankfully had no intentions to hurt him

-They did tell him some hurtful words and tried to violently kick him out

-Jestro was in such shock from that, but nevertheless, did his best to quickly apologize and show how genuine it was since the lava monsters were the closest thing he ever had to a family. They were always there and were capable to be genuine and had amazing dreams. Their warmth gave him comfort and that's what he confessed in his apology

-Reluctant, the Lava monsters forgave him, but Jestro still felt a bit detested from what they had said about him earlier. Which left him in shock for quite a bit since nothing hurt him more than words, everyone knows that by now.

-Good thing though, he fixed his relationship with them quickly though! And now is an awaited guest at the village all the time. Often times participating in the activities of each lava monster. Especially Magmar's cookie baking and the bakery's work

-Another thing he avoids like a plague is any student or teacher he sees from the Academy he went to. He could not handle any confrontation with them and is most detested by those people.

-while after season 2, people saw Jestro more as an annoyance and as trouble to still be allowed to do as he please. After the events of season 4, Jestro actually managed to strike fear in many of these people since the kingdom was severely damaged after these two, you could say, monster wars.

-He has a mild liking for animals like reptiles or those most people dislike, like rats or Hyenas so when he was once at the zoo with the other knights, he admired the serpent exhibit and at the same time had to stop Clay from losing his mind since Clay has a fear of snakes.

-After he managed to ease his attachment to his Jester attire, he once exited the bathroom after a shower without his hat and with some random sweater and sweatpants and was almost beaten up because the knights thought he was an intruder.

-Clay was the only one that ever actually saw or touched Jestro's hair

-Jestro's first hat was actually made by his mother and since he didn't want to let go of it when he became a Jester, he altered it to be a Jester had, but kept the same material

-He has vague memories of his mother, the nicknames she gave him, the toys he used to have, but has absolutely zero information about his father.

Lmao I'll make part 3 right after this since I have a lot more ideas, but just don't want to stuff them into one post

[siren-virus]

welp, I've finally came up with a schedule for asking you questions. Every 2-4 days after you answer something I've sent I shall make an ask, changing the themes between your OCs and their world, and Luckyboy!Ben AU. That way I won't burn you out accidently with asking about the same thing all the time XD And since my last ask was about your OCs, it's time to return to Luckyboy!Ben AU :D

Ok, first question, Would Gwen here have the necrofriggian babies? Big Chill babies (but named differently obviously)? I suspect that she would have them considering that that was something that came up from a... defect, bug, glitch, purposefully put design? in the Omnitrix, as such she should have birthed them regardless of the differences with cannon. Would anyone else know about the babies, considering it was treated as a secret in cannon but maybe not in this AU?

Also, what about Zs'Skayr? He (Is Zs'Skayr gendered? I'll treat them as male for the rest of this ask to avoid complications) is also someone that's independent of the events of the prime universe, and as such I'd imagine that he would still be a threat in this universe.

And the Loboan transformation that Ben went through in the OS, would Gwen also go through it in here as well? We know that that transformation was triggered by Werewolf when the team was attacked, forcing Ben to go through a gradual transformation.

Now back to Nekomata :D Would Ben ever reveal his identity to someone? Maybe Gwen and grandpa Max? Perhaps Rook if he manages to gain the complete trust of Ben first? What kind of situation would allow for Ben to reveal his identity as Nekomata that wasn't a life-or-death one? Because let's be real, in a life-or-death situation anyone would reveal their identities XD

We know that Ben is the favourite barista of the coffee, and with good reason, considering he's a charismatic info brooker that will kick the ass (or alien equivalent) of anyone making trouble, while also being respectful of the clients (because that's mandatory in a job like that one, but isn't it hard to find employees like that in this universe) and keeping their dietaries needs in mind. But does He has any favourite client, someone he's waiting to come because he geniunly sees them as friends even though they only see each other in the coffee? Nekomata interactions don't count for this XD I'd imagine it would be one of the plumbers kids, Kevin or Argit, But who knows? this might as well be a time to make any background character shine :P Not that I remember any of them anyways XD

NGL Im already burnt out on luckyboy (it dont take much rlly, just bored of the idea haha ;;) I'll entertain ur questions tho. maybe it'll spark me back to life. Currently hyperfixated on artfight!

I'm conflicted about this. Idk if that episode was supposed to be a metaphor for teen pregnancy (i still find it hilarious that it's a cannon mpreg episode rip!), but with Gwen it wouldn't rlly work(?) She's quite responsible, and considering her personality she'd get way too attached.

So- I would say that she has a lot better communication with Azmuth then what Ben did, and Azmuth took into consideration a lot of Gwens suggested tweeks. So, no babys- srry. They'd nerf Gwen completely. (poor thing crys over the littlest things...)

You know what? what's the harm in a little childhood trauma, we'll have Zs'Skayr. Gwen never took back control of Ghost Freak after the events of Zs'Skayr. She also never defeated him the first round, it irritates her to know end how much of a coward she was as a child. But she was a child! She's too hard on herself a lot of the times.

Oh geez this brings back memories~ I remember sitting in my loungeroom watching this episode and loving it every time.

The only reason Ben turned into the Laboan was because he chased after the OG wolf man.

I would say Gwen's a lot more cautious in those cases and stuck close to Max. So she didn't end up collecting the Laboan DNA until a lot further down the track.

Maybe similar events happen with a different alien however, something Gwen can't avoid.

Before I dive down into Nekomata I just wanna make note of some Gwen stuff.

Gwen is still quite headstrong, intelligent and cautious when it comes to fighting. Quite similar to how she functions in the OG her fighting is more Defensive. Her fighting style is built off Taekwondo (I think thats what she practised in alien force...) So she's more built for self defence. She's very analytical of her opponents. Her best alien would be XLR8 (my one of my faves ngl). Using her quick thinking she can do small attacks that can weaken her opponent.

Now then:

I usually don't like to reveal big REVEALS to anyone even myself. Which can straight up nerf me when it comes to developing my own characters cause I won't spoil myself.

So it takes a lot of willpower to do this. It's my AU and I say what's canon!

WHEEEEZE BUT TO BE HONEST I LIKE TO SWITCH THINGS UP SO DON'T TAKE THIS AS OFFICIAL OFFICIAL CAUSE I MIGHT END UP CHANGING MY MIND. I'M SO INDESCISIVE!!!

The big reveal:

You know what, I thought about this a while ago. Rook is realsing that perhaps the plumbers are in the wrong. So he only whishes to hear Nekomata out. He ends up finding Nekomata after a big fight. He's quite injured and bleeding out, he can't retain his anodite form (add a bit of a concussion in the mix). Rook panics and has to throw the mask off, because the majorite of blood is under the mask. (mans know first aid). He's hesitant, all this chasing, all this fighting. Surely he couldn't! but He does. He pulls of the mask AND, oh shit, the barista!

I think around this time the plumbers had caught on to Rooks faulty allegiance and had followed him, so He finds himself surrounded. Rook places the mask back on and trys to talk with the plumbers.

They're not hearing it. And Ben, in his weary state, pulls out one of his little teleporter rocks (i forgot to mention he carries around of a lot of them, preinfused with mana as a just in case scenario) grabs Rook by the ankle and teleports them away.

Through a series of events his identity is revealed, to the public and he's on the run. Not sure how that'll go, but it extends the overall storyline!

....

...

You're right, the BG characters really don't get that limelight. So..... Blukig and Driba. He genuinely enjoys their little back and forths. Also in this universe they're gay. I can't imagine those two loving anyone else but each other.

[roleplaybook]

WHY DO GHOSTS

I've made a previous post about ghosting, and I'm back at it — because that’s the main complaint I see from the roleplay community! I’d also like to touch on dealing with ghosts — ie., keeping your sanity in check when it happens — in a future post. Check out the ****ghost tag ****if you’d like to see everything I’ve written on the topic.

Without further ado,

Who Ghosts?

The truth is, most of us, at one point or another. Some of us are deeply ashamed chronic phantoms. Others are proud poltergeists. The shorter answer is this: anyone can be a ghost.

It happens, and sometimes it’s outside our control. This, however, seems to be the rarest form of ghosting, even if it’s the most understandable and one of the most legitimate reasons.

Hell, if you want to get really fuckin’ literal about it (and dark), one day, each and every one of us will “log off” for the last time. There’s a good chance you won’t know it’s your last time, so yeah — in theory, you’re probably going to “ghost” a couple people who won’t know what happened to you.

Hopefully not for a good, long time, though! So, who is more likely to ghost?

The Anxious

That is absolutely not to say anxiety is a red flag in the roleplay community. In fact, I think you would be very fuckin’ hard pressed to find a collaborative writer who doesn’t suffer from anxiety. Maybe this is part of the reason ghosting is so very prolific — but when anxiety is the root cause, the thought process tends to be something like this:

Oh, shit. It’s been a while since I replied, last. My writing partners muse be so tired of me. I should apologize, but I doubt my words mean anything at this point since it keeps happening. Is it awkward to just post, now? If I say something, are they gonna be mad at me?

Alternatively,

I have no idea how to reply to this, but they’re going to blow up at me if I ask them to edit their post — I just know it.

The Depressed

I just can’t scrounge up the energy. What’s another burned bridged? I’ll eventually lose their interest, anyway.

The Oft-Scorned

Yeah, no. Last time I told someone I’d lost interest in the plot, they stalked me across the Internet, doxxed me, threatened my life, and blew up my socials for a month. I’m just gonna dip. ✌

The Distracted

Didn’t I have a post I owed…? Wait, what’s this show? This is— ope, annnnd hyperfixated.

The Too-Kind

It doesn’t feel kind to be ghosted, and maybe it’s ultimately not kind — but these people really do have the best of intentions.

It’s gonna make her so sad if I tell her outright that her writing isn’t quite up to par with my standards. Better to just disappear.

The Oblivious

I’m guilty of this one.

Oh, shit — yeah, makes sense they’d check in. It’s been a while since I replied, last. I’ll let them know I am still totally interested in this plot. Because I am! I AM INTERESTED. I’ll totally reply, I just need a few more days to gather muse. I’ll definitely regain interest in this and it’ll be great.

AKA, some of us need to learn to tell when we’re lying to ourselves and stringing people along unintentionally.

The Takeaway

Ghosting reflects more on the ghost than on the ghostee.

If you’d like to read more about ghosting outside the collaborative writing context, check out this article from Psychology Today.

[transsexualhamlet]

predictions for yuumori s2 (as a manga reader)

No matter what happens, this is probably gonna end up aging badly, but i’m hyperfixating and I’ve decided to make it everyone else’s problem so I’m going to predict where they’re gonna go with s2 of moriarty the patriot (keep in mind i’m writing this as of episode 2) and what I think would be the ideal scenario, in the likely situation that this is the last season.

So we can tell a lot about what they’re going to cut/include from the opening and ending, and the first two episodes. 

Observations/Conclusions:

-moneypenny and most likely von herder are gone, already evidenced by the first 2 episodes, which is :( but understandable bc there’s only so much space and they’re definitely cutting the arcs where they would be important

-so that means no moran backstory because duh, there’s a point in the backstory and i see value in it, moran slaps when he’s not being an ass lmao, but again, time constraints

-no matter what I can’t see them keeping in the like, child hunting thing 2 electric boogaloo, even tho it did further Fred’s and Louis’ characters, since they’ve previously cut out stuff considering them and. You know. That’s how it be.

-You can see they’re including jack the ripper arc (considering, jack is in the opening) and I have faith that they can downsize the arc without butchering it if they do it right. This is good that they’re keeping it in, considering it’s one of the... main arcs not involving milverton that advances the plot.

-Major thing we can tell is that, yeah, Milverton is nowhere to be seen. It seems like this would fuck things up bad since he’s like, the only kind of “main villain” we get here. But honestly? I agree with that. Fuck Milverton. He has no character or motivation and is like my one and only bone to pick with the manga. He’s just there to suck ass and create plot convenience?? I don’t like him and he never needed to be there if he wasn’t at least going to do something interesting. I support the anime cutting him.

-That DOES fuck over their ability to do the white knight arc, since, well, milverton is the cause of all of that. And this is the one thing I really don’t know what they’re going to do with that to connect jack the ripper directly to the final problem. I can’t predict that, but I do think there are ways it can be done that won’t be Awful.

-So considering that, Mary’s arc is definitely axed, which doesn’t bother me that much since by that point i so impatient for gay people and really didn’t care about watson’s fiance even tho she is a lovely lady. For anime effect, she does not need an arc, though I could see them having her show up a few times so watson doesn’t seem too gay either lmao.

-They’re definitely shooting to end with the final problem, considering without it there’s no big culminating event between moriarty and sherlock, which is obviously the big sell. And well. It’s. Um. The final problem. 

The season says it’s slated to be 13 episodes, since s1 didn’t have enough time for 12. I honestly think they can manage it all, if they play their cards right. 

Outlook:

This whole potential situation does sound familiar, I’ll point out that I just arrived here after the shit show of the promised neverland’s second season. But I don’t think it will get bad like tpn did. Because in Moriarty, they could afford to cut things because there are many stand alone and disposable arcs, whereas tpn really shouldn’t have, since they pretty much all contributed later to Major Main Character Plot Things. And the important points of the arcs that they’ll probably cut can actually be written into existing ones without looking like plot convenience, in my vision of it.

Honestly, I’m pretty optimistic for moriarty, it works better for this kind of adaption than in a lot of other manga that end up getting these most likely two season adaptions. I’d love to get those arcs for the servant’s and other character’s developments of course, but trying to stick that in when there’s really only time to focus on the main characters would suck up time better spent on really getting deep into the main storyline. Even if there are less characters, in a situation like this a streamlined and nuanced story will look elegant, whereas shoving as much content as possible into a few short episodes makes everyone cringe.

The situation does end up looking like the promised neverland, but it has a chance to be significantly less fucked considering,,, well,,, tpn is an insanely low bar, and they will hopefully not make the promised neverland’s same mistakes of Shove Seventeen Plotlines Into One Episode After Realizing Belatedly They Actually Needed Those Parts.

Obviously I don’t know what will happen, and this will be outdated by sunday lmao, but my projection looks something like this for 13 episodes to conclude the show.

Predictions:

(Episodes 1+2: A Scandal in the British Empire)

Episode 3: I’m very anxious for 3 considering this will probably make or break my opinion on the anime. Ideally, this episode would wrap up the scandal arc and go over the whole James Bond thing, it could be pretty baller and fit well into an episode. But though there’s plenty of Irene in the opening, there’s no sight of Bond, so considering anime as a whole is fucking transphobic, they might try to change it, twist around bond’s words or just, gloss over it altogether. If they cut it, they might have time to squeeze in another arc but I don’t think they honestly need to? With what they seem to be keeping in, they’ll have ample time to get to everything, and it would be shorter anyway considering the smaller amount of servants. 

Here, we do definitely need to cover Sherlock’s “receiving the name of the lord of crime and deciding to burn it and find it out himself because he’s extra”, no matter the status of irene/bond’s gender. If they do that right and possibly change a few things so it’s more important, this could play into them moving forward his whole discovery of their secrets.

Episodes 4-7: These will most likely cover jack the ripper arc. There’s a lot to go over here, and I’m confident they can cut it down, because tbh Moriarty is pretty long winded for a manga and cutting things is good to an extent. This covers most of the major expansions on William’s ideas and plans, and definitely has the holes to stuff in more of the points made in the arcs that will be cut out. Though I have my reservations, they could plausibly take most points in white knight and integrate them into here.

Episodes 8-10: These are the ones that are going to take the most work and probably be the most changed. They should finish up the ripper arc in 7, give or take a few episodes, and then here, If Sherlock has a little more figured out from episode 3, he can look deeper. I think it’s honestly a good idea for the one to discover the Incriminating Records to be him, as it again gives them more connection. There needs to be some other reason Moriarty’s secrets are in danger of getting leaked to the paper, but I’m sure they can put something together with scotland yard or something, or even like, Mycroft. I see that. But if that happens, then we can spend an episode or so on the merchant of london, aka little liam commits girlboss, which can be woven into the idea of everything Coming Out.

Episodes 11-13: Final problem. I see this going mostly unchanged, up until 55. Truth is they’ll probably end up cutting something but hmm. I don’t know. They should keep the fred stuff in, since they’ll cut his other development. They should keep the squad asking sherlock for help, since they cut the other parts that highlight the crime squad’s care for him. But I think they could montage most of the William Goes French Revolution On You Hoes, even the part where the kids come in front of one of them, if you see what’s going on right. But everything can proceed as in the manga pretty smoothly, I think, it all makes sense if they put it together in 7-10. You know, you got somehow, the worst case happens, and boom, scandal, final problem enacted. Killing spree. William reveals he’s been emo this whole time but it’s too late now. Everyone scrambling to catch up with his damn plans. Gay boy knocking on 221B with a fucking love letter. Shit gets found out. And then... well, yuh.

Disclaimer I still don’t know everything about this, bc I cannot find a translation of 54, only the raw with no context, and I know there’s content after 55 but I can’t find that either. But I’m sure as hell an english major and can understand where things are probably going. I don’t know what’s involved at that point, and if there’s some plan detailed to save him or something. That’s the main thing I don’t know, and if there is one detailed of course that kind of changes everything, but for now I’m going on the assumption that 54 is “sherlock runs to the bridge and yells at liam to stop being a dramatic whore while london burns around them and the murder squad watches anxiously with mysterious intent, until it is chapter 55″. (IF Y’ALL HAVE THE ENGLISH PLEASE HMU) They better not TOUCH anything in 55 or so help me god.

But as to after 55, things are going to be different. Besties, I’m an optimist, but there’s no way they’ll make a season after this. It does appear that they’ve mostly wrapped up, and they’ve gotten through what Big Revals they plan on doing. The shit hinted from the beginning has happened, and there probably won’t be enough to create another, unless the author plans on fucking shit up again, which I don’t approve of. There are a few things still left unsaid, like, Liam’s real name and everything, but if it’s supposed to be important, things that small can 100 percent be written into this.

And as something that’s intending to finish up a story, depending on what manga canon really is (BESTIE I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS) they might change it. There’s two options, a bittersweet/hopeful and a tragic one, but either one will end up open ended, because of my extensive knowledge of 2 season animes with significantly longer mangas. (done badly: tokyo ghoul and tpn, done well: owari no seraph and mob psycho) Either we have it like well, oh damn, everything was destined to be Sad but well you’re with him now you’re probably dead, but you know there’s something hinted at and you don’t know for sure so that’s the catch. So you get a vague and bittersweet but possibly hopeful ending. OR something that takes,,, whatever ends up happening in the manga or whatever the plan is and turning it into an epilogue infodump.

I can see either going well depending on how they handle the messages of the story. But yeah, as far as to my extent of the understanding of the show, that’s how it’ll probably go, and what my opinion of how it should is.

To What Extent Will The Gay:

You know, this is my ideal scenario within these time limits, but you know they could always go The Wrong Direction if the anime team took a look at some of the later chapters and went “holy shit this is a bit too gay” and try to axe some of the sherliam content, which I wouldn’t put past any corporation.

In the case that they do, I see lot of good shit going. They’re clearly trying to do the final problem, so they obviously can’t cut out 55, which is good :). But though 55 is clearly, uh, really fucking homosexual, the most romantic shit goes down in 53, as far as I can tell? (keeping in mind i still haven’t found 54′s english version, if anyone would like to direct me to a translation, that would be LOVELY.) I unfortunately can see them cutting Liam’s letter almost entirely, and that kind of scares me.

You know, even if i’d hate and slander them for it, cutting out james bond would be something i would understand. But messing with sherliam would fuck them over, not just cause that would be awful, but like, because it’s like... kind of the main point.

So I’m not really too worried about them messing with it, mostly because the content itself is holding them at gunpoint, sherliam holds the whole plot structure in place, especially if you’re shooting for final problem. And even in the manga they never, like, actually say they’re in love with each other even tho historically gay lovers would probably call each other “friends” lmao so it’s not like they have to greenlight gay sex or anything lmao it’s just Very Romantic (No Homo)

And apart from that, yuumori has actually been pretty decent to the gays so far?? Damn shawty, they certainly haven’t toned down the gay yet and it’s clearly their main source of fans, and what they’ve decided to emphasize in both openings and a significant portion of the s2 ending. We’re all here for it, and they’re catering to it, so I can at least give you that.

[fandom-star]

Writer’s Tag

@its-all-ineffable tagged me to do this, but it’s a long one so I’m doing it in a different post! Thank you very much! I love doing these so much!

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How many works do you have on AO3?

164 (possibly 165 by the weekend if I post the Witcher one I finished the other day)

What's your total AO3 word count?

181468

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

It’s Okay (Merlin: Merthur) - 569 Kudos Pulchra (Night At The Museum: Jedtavius) [NSFW] - 286 Kudos A Father’s Wisdom (Merlin: Merthur: Uther-centric) - 270 Kudos Crush (MCU Spider-Man: PeterNed) - 262 Kudos Comfort Blankets For Sleepy Gods (MCU Loki Series: Lokius) - 245

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Sometimes. I try to if I’m not in a non-social mood. Mostly, if I start off on my page before reading any fic and see that I have something in my inbox and it turns out to be a comment on my fic, then I’m more likely to reply to it. Idk why it works like that. Otherwise, it’s kinda touch and go whether or not I’ll reply to something, you’ve got a 50/50 chance, but I always read and appreciate every one that I get.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

*Looks at my abundance of angst fics* There’s... a surprising amount of angst without happy endings in my repertoire. Um. I’ll give you three that I vividly remember. (All of these are Star Trek and Spones) Written In The Stars - This is one of my really early works, and was gonna have a sequel that made it have a less angsty ending, but I could never get into the rhythm of writing it. I won’t spoil it, but this is probably the only fic I’ve written where Sarek is a straight-up dick. Battlefield - As the title suggests, there’s war with no real context. And major character death. It’s sad. I genuinely made people cry with this. I am both proud and apologetic of that. Unreal - This is probably one of my more complex concepts, and I’m really proud of it. Features ooc Spock with contextual reasons I won’t spoil, defensive/protective McCoy and major character death of a sort.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

This is kind of difficult, bc while I have excessively written angsty endings (see: above answer) I do usually write happy endings, and I can’t remember all 160 fic endings left over, and even then it’s difficult to rank them by happiest. I like Nutcase {Murdoch Mysteries: Watts-centric) a lot, oh and also Blame It On Me (Star Trek Pricard: Hughnor) which is angst with a happy ending (and has amazing art accompanying it). There are many others with happy endings, but like I said I have no idea how to rank them by “happiest”.

Do you write crossovers? If so, What is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I don’t really, but I have written one as a request that I really really enjoyed. A Good Day is ThorBruce and is set in the DS9 era of Star Trek, in which Thor is a captain and Bruce is his chief science officer. It’s really adorable and features sleepy, over-worked Bruce and a very characteristically happy Thor.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, I don’t think so, unless you count unsolicited advice I felt I couldn’t turn down on ff.net when I was struggling to write Uhura. I’m kind of surprised I haven’t tbh (not that I’m complaining) since I do write for some very popular fandoms and ships (although, conversely, also some very niche fandoms and ships).

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I write it but have only ever posted it thee, four times if you count the exploratory one I posted under a pseudonym that wasn’t really that smutty. I’m hoping to get the confidence up to post some of what I’ve written tho, bc I do really like hat I’ve managed to do with some of it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I’m aware.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I have! A lovely person found my fic 1967, which is probably one of my favourite Spones fics I’ve written, based around the UK’s decriminalisation (well, partial) of homosexuality, and traslated it into Hungarian here. I’ve not been able to check it out, due to not knowing a thing in the language (tho I could probably ask my friend to) but the translator seemed really lovely, so I trust them to have done a good job.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not something I posted, but before I even started posting fanfic, me and my best friend really randomly started writing a Star Trek TNG x Star Wars crossover whenever they were at my house. We gave up on it after about a year and never wrote much for it, but it was... it was something.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

This changes all the time with my hyperfixations! One that will always be in my heart is obviously Spones, my og ship and within my special interest. Currently I’m obsessed with The Witcher so I’ve got Geraskier on the mind but who knows when that might change!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

In terms of fanfic I don’t really have any that I don’t think I’ll ever finish. I have an original script that I started writing months ago but only got about three scenes into and haven’t touched since bc I don’t actually have a plot for it.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue; Is situations one? That sounds like a good and fancy way of saying AUs; Finding synonyms should be one, that’s like half my search history

What are your writing weaknesses?

Description; Despite my talent of finding synonyms I feel like I do repeat words a lot; Planning and outlining, I just don’t do it - it works for me tho.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’m pretty sure the only times I’ve really done it is for Jedtavius (having Oct speak in Latin occasionally) and I might have done it once or twice with Spock speaking Vulcan, both times it’s mostly terms of endearment or Oct wanting to be romantic. Idk, I don’t really care about reading dialogue in other languages as long as there’s a translation somewhere in the work or I can easily pick it up or search it. Just do whatever, it’s your writing. As long as you do it well and it makes contextual sense, I don’t really care.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Unposted: Star Trek: The Next Gen Posted: Sherlock (I actually recently reread my first ever posted fic, it’s a long haul (just over 45k), but if anyone ever wants to see a work where my writing visibly improves lemme know and I’ll email the pdf to you)

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Why would you do this to me??? I love most of my fics!!! I’m just gonna link a few here cause I’ve been doing this for an hour now and it would definitely take me an hour to choose just one! The Relationship Series - modern AU, autistic Spock (written by a self-projecting autistic writer), there’s angst spattered about but is especially prominent in part 6, I just really love this series Promises You Can’t Keep - Loki spoilers, I love this bc it’s based on “what if my finale theory was right instead of being debunked three minutes into the episode”, definitely angst with a hopeful ending I love all of my Charite At War fics, but I’m gonna link my 20 years post-canon fic Grow Old With Me and my modern AU You Give Me Your Light - both have some heavy topics (post-canon is set in 1960s East Germany, modern AU topics are tagged) but I adore both with my entire heart You’ll Never Burn - Merlin/Merthur, again kinda heavy (not as heavy as the Charite ones in my opinion) but short and everything is tagged I love all of my Babylon 5 fics but Secret Rendezvous will always have a special place in my heart. It’s very sweet and essentially follows Vir and Lennier trying to navigate coming out about their relationship to their ambassadors I also recommend all the of the fics I’ve already linked in the post ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now for the hard part - tagging!

@esperata @tallysgreatestfan @iwritesometimes @marlinspirkhall and any other writer mutuals I’ve likely forgotten but I’ve already spent WAY too long writing this post asfdhdskjdgha So I apologise, but if you wanna do it, absolutely go for it, this was so much fun and really made me realise how much I’ve achieved in 4.5 years.