#I came out here to have a good time and am honestly having such a good time right now
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yourmomsfavouritegirl · 1 day ago
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Caitlin Clark x Reader
Warnings; none
Author's notes; After the last practice of the week Caitlin came back to your shared dorm exhausted and wants nothing more than to be babied by her girlfriend not minding that she has been sick for days now
Reader's pov
I was making some soup to eat because lately i have been a bit sick and i wanted something to eat without feeling like I'll throw up the next second.
As i wiped my hands on the towel i had beside me i heard the door open. "Baby!" A voice shouted making me smile knowing who it was.
I made my way to the living room only to be met with an extremely happy Caitlin. She launched herself at me wrapping her arms around me making me giggle. She peppered kisses allover my face and neck before i managed to get her off of me.
"someone missed me huh?" I asked with a grin as she nodded rapidly. "Yeah well baby keep your distance cause I am sick and i don't want you to get sick as well" i said. Although she didn't like it much
"there ain't no way I'm not getting cuddles from you. I don't care if i get sick" she said clinging behind me as i returned to the kitchen. I laughed at her reaction accepting my fate.
"I made soup. You want some?" I asked giving her the spoon to taste the food herself. Her eyes widened and nodded with a smile. "This is great. It's cold outside so this is like heaven honestly" she murmured against my neck.
I smiled at her reaction and nodded before pulling out another plate for her. As we waited for the soup yo get somewhat cold so we could eat it Caitlin turned me around and placed me on top of the counter
I opened my arms and motioned for her to get in which she happily did. I caressed her back softly and from time to time she would tighten her grip on my waist so i would keep doing what i wss already doing
"Baby is there something wrong? You're awfully quiet" i said worriedly. She shook her head and looked up at me. "I'm just really tired. That's all. And i missed you" she said and kissed my cheek. I looked at her in awe before burying her head on my neck and snuggling her closer to me.
"I love you" i whispered at her ear before placing a kiss on her forehead. She looked up at me and with a smile and tired eyes she placed her soft pink lips against mine. She seemed so fragile all i wanted to do was to protect her
Once she pulled away she kept strong eye contact. Her gaze soft but it was full of love and delicate enough to make my heart melt. "I love you too baby" she whispered as she rested her forehead against mine.
I smiled at her before throwing a look at the food seeing it's ready. "Come on let's go eat. We can cuddle by the television after" I said and her eyes lit up. I shook my head laughing as i hopped off the counter. She helped me set the table and after putting the rest of the stuff to the side we sat down next to eachother.
We ate in silence with just the faint sounds of the radio in the kitchen. She held my hand squeezing it here and there. You see Caitlin loves my personal space. But i love her too much to say anything. I don't mind honestly.
After we devoured our plates she placed a kiss on my hand before she got up and took the plates with her back to the kitchen. I smiled at the thought because even eif she was tired from practice she still made sure to clean up after us because I was not feeling good.
She came back and scooped me up like a princess before softly placing me on the couch. I was watching her closely with a huge smile on my face. She laid slowly on top of me placing her head on my chest while her hands circled their way around my belly.
I placed a soft kiss on her head and placed my hands on top of hers caressing them softly. I scratched lightly her back making her hum in the sensation making a smile come to my lips.
"I love it when you do that" she mumbled in my neck. I chuckled at how inaudible what she said was but still from the little that i heard it was cute. We sat there in a comfortable silence watching some random tv show.
This must be by far my favourite thing in the world. Those slow days with her by my side just relaxing and enjoying eachother's presence. She's too cute while sitting like that. Honestly i can't help but fall more and more in love with her as the time passes by.
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newtonsheffield · 3 days ago
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So do we think IF Anthony had found out about Neddy before he’d dealt with his grief he would have maybe been a bit… flakey?
I could see a scenario of Kate giving him a good dressing down if he forgot about plans with baby Neddy
I don’t think anything would have gotten Anthony’s life together quicker than finding out he was going to be a father, honestly.
He’d already met Kate so he’d already decided he wanted to make a change. No, needed to make a change. And I think the day after Kate awkwardly came to see Anthony in his office and told him she was pregnant he’d have made an appointment with a therapist. He’d be sat there awkwardly on the couch sweating.
“So, it’s been a few years since your father passed. Why make the change now?”
Anthony swallowed, “I… met someone. And she’s great. She’s really great and I wish I was… ready properly for her and I’m not. She’s pregnant, actually. I’m going to be a Dad and… it’s not fair of me to out my recovery on the baby but I want to be able to be a Dad, without my shit getting in the way. I want to be a present Dad, maybe a present partner if I can be.”
The therapist nodded, “That shows excellent self awareness already, Anthony. Let’s talk more about why you want to be a Dad.”
It’s maybe not fair of Kate, to stare at him across the table where he’d taken her for lunch the image of a tiny fluttering heartbeat etched into both of them forever but she has to.
“This isn’t… this is bitchy of me to bring this up, Anthony because I know I was hardly being responsible the night we met but if you want to be here for our child I need you to be here. I need you to show up for them when you say you will because I am… not going to be that person who has to make excuse after excuse to their kid every time you disappoint them. Okay?”
To his credit he stared back at her evenly, nodding carefully. “I won’t disappoint you. I won’t disappoint them. I’m working on myself and I’ll be ready, when they’re born. If not for me for them.”
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annebd · 20 hours ago
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2024 fic wrapped
i was tagged by the lovely @pitforwets to share some fave fics from 2024! this was especially difficult because i joined f1 fandom in late 2023 and only really started reading fic in earnest in january of this year, which means that this is basically "choose your five fave f1 fics you've ever read." that's hard! with that in mind, this list is nowhere close to exhaustive of the amazing list of fics i've read this year. but in keeping with a list of five, here we go (in no particular order):
icarus by @eirianerisdar. i discovered this fic sometime in the spring. i specifically remember being so engrossed in it that first day that i stayed up until nearly 4 in the morning reading it, and i had to call off work the next day because i was so exhausted (shhhh, don't tell my boss!). it's wing!fic, to reduce it to its absolute most basic form, but it's infinitely more than that. the characterization and worldbuilding are a masterclass. the scene where seb walks through the track picking up feathers lives rent free in my mind. (as does the scene where daniel is a wiggly worm whose newly grown feathers are itchy. if you want a fic to have you giggling and sobbing in equal measure, this is the one)
Hey, Remember That Time by @powerful-owl. i'm not 100% sure, but i'm fairly certain that this is the first of em's fics that i read. and what an amazing introduction! i definitely know that it's the one that made me reach out to say hi on tumblr, and i'm so glad that i did! daniel has amnesia, and max runs an inn- what more could you ask for? one of my favorite parts of this fic is the way em writes charles- he's such a little weirdo, and i adore him beyond measure. also, there's a scene where max describes daniel's own dick to him, and boy howdy. it's a good scene, is what i'm saying.
Breaking Every Rule For You by @magicalrocketships. maxiel exchange dick pics. that's it, that's the post. but to be serious, this fic is 150k words of some of the hottest sex (and preludes to sex) you'll ever read, interspersed with genuinely incredible character growth and exploration. honestly, this fic makes me want to learn to be a better writer. each time a new chapter came out, i would devour it and think "god, i wish i could do that."
there's glitter on the floor after the party by @fiveredlights. there are few things that i'm weaker for than a well written epistolary/social media fic, and there is no one out there who does it quite like five! their writing is amazing, every single time, and the care that goes into crafting these fics is unbelievable. i'm reccing this particular fic because it's the first of their fics i'd ever read, but this is actually a rec for everything they've published, because every single fic is one banger after another. also, after the actual events of this year in real life, i'd much rather sink into the world of this fic and pretend this is how things went down with daniel's career instead.
Get It Right Back by @overtake. have i mentioned that i'm a sucker for a social media fic? because i am. and this fic has the perfect combo of traditional fic structure intertwined with social media elements. it's very newly published and has already worked its way up my faves list. another fantastic example of a fic running me through an entire rainbow of emotion. special shoutout to all the scenes between max, daniel, and max's nephews. the cuteness is too much to bear.
tagging everyone who wants to do their own wrapped list! this was so hard, but what a fun look back at the year. <3
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ahopefullwritter · 1 day ago
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Comfort In You - Harry Lewis
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Harry Lewis (W2S) x reader - Fluff 
Summary: You’re visiting London to do a shoot with the sidemen and have been having a hard time sleeping. Harry notices your tiredness and offers you his bed and himself to help you finally get some rest.
You were shooting a side+ video with Simon, Vik, Josh, George, Arthurtv, and Harry. You were exhausted but promised to do a shoot with them while you were visiting and didn’t want to let them down by cancelling. 
You were trying your hardest to keep your energy up and that you were doing a good job at hiding the tiredness but one person could see right through you. Harry. 
He’s had a small crush on you since the day you met and has become sort of protective over you over the years. Anytime you’re around he can’t keep his eyes off you but you’ve never noticed. 
Throughout the shoot he would constantly be looking at you. He noticed the slight bags under your eyes and how your smile wasn’t as bright as it usually was when you were with them. 
You were completely oblivious of his worried glances. Once the shoot wrapped, you let out a tired sigh and finally allowed yourself to relax into the couch. The others all got up to stretch and talk while Harry came and sat next to you. 
You sat up straight again and shot him a tired smile. “Hello, Harry. How are you?” you asked. 
“I’m well, thanks. What about you?” he asked. “I’m good too, Thanks for having me today. I love doing these shoots with you guys” you said. He smiled, “Of course. We love having you. I was wondering if you wanted to come round to mine so we can have a proper catch up. We can cook your favorite too.” 
You were really tired but you have missed him so much so you couldn’t pass up on it and agreed to go. You both said your goodbyes and headed to his. He let you in and you took your shoes and jacket off before following him into his living room. 
“I’ll be right back, I'm just gonna change really quick” he said before heading to his room. You sat on the couch and waited. He came back dressed in some plaid pajama pants and plain t-shirt whale holding some clothes. “Um, you can borrow these if you’d like to be a little more comfy as well.” You gently grabbed them with a slight blush rushing to your cheeks. You have been to his place many times before but he’s never offered you clothes before so you were surprised. “Sure, that would be great actually. Thank you.” He smiled and nervously ruffled his hair.”No problem. I’ll get everything started while you change.” You smile and nod before heading to the restroom. You smiled at yourself in the mirror admiring how you looked in his clothes. You laughed a little at how bagging it was. 
You left and met Harry in the kitchen. His eyes shot up when you entered the room. He couldn’t help but to check you out. Heat rose to both of your guys' checks as he did. “Comfy?” he asked. 
“Very.” You laughed. “Good, now come over here and help me cause I have no idea what I'm doing,” he joked. “Okay, okay. What have you started?” 
You guys completed the meal and sat down on his couch after deciding to watch some of the office while you ate. You sat criss-crossed on his couch with your bowl in your lap. Harry smiled as he watched you put on the show. He loved how natural you looked in his home. You put the remote down once the show was on and leaned back into the couch. 
You guys ate and watched in silence for a moment. He noticed how you relaxed more and saw how exhausted you really looked. He cleared his throat, “Y/N, how are you doing really? I don’t mean to pry but you didn’t really seem like your normal energetic self today and you look a bit tired.” 
You put down your half eaten food on the coffee table and sunk back into the couch. “I’m 
okay really, but honestly, I am exhausted. I haven’t been able to get much sleep since I've been here. I’m sorry.” He waved you off, “Don’t be silly, there’s nothing to be sorry about. Why didn’t you say something? We could’ve caught up on a different day if you’re tired.” He asked. “I know we’re just both so busy, I never want to say no when we're both free and I’d honestly probably still be tired on any day. I think there’s something in my Airbnb that’s keeping me up.” You joked. 
“Well thank you for coming but as soon as you feel tired, let me know and i’ll drive you home okay?” he said. “Deal, but I'm sure I'll be okay. Your jokes will keep me up.” you said. He laughed and got comfortable next to you. 
You tried to fight the sleepiness but it soon overcame you and slowly drifted asleep. Your head fell onto Harry’s shoulder making him look down at you. He chuckled and whispered your name to see if you’d wake up. You were knocked out. He quietly turned off the tv and got up. 
He picked you up and you subconsciously cuddled into him. He carried you into his bed and laid you down gently before covering you with a blanket. He tucked the loose hair behind your ear. His eyes flickered down to your lips wanting nothing more than to kiss you. 
He sighed and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. He stood straight and headed to leave the room. Your eyes fluttered open as he reached the door and you called out. “Harry? Will you stay?”. He turned back around, “Are you sure?” he asked, already making his way back to the bed. “Yes. I don’t think I’d be able to fall back to sleep without you next to me. Please?”. He nodded and climbed into the bed behind you. 
You turned around so that you were facing him and scooted closer to him. He wrapped his arms around you pulling you even closer and you sighed in content. You quickly dozed off again feeling safe in his arms.
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seokminfilm · 2 days ago
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attorney fever | lee seokmin
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🪄 pairing, lee seokmin x reader
🪄 warning, non-idol au, romance-comedy (is it funny??), fluff, a tiny bit of angst, attorney au, hint to girl dad!seokmin, hint to single dad!seokmin, wholesome, meet cute, vague (??) mutual attraction
🪄 summary, your charming lawyer is trying to make a good, professional impression on you, but how can he do that with a bunny figurine sticking out of his suit pocket?
🪄 author's note, this came up in my head when i saw the the 2nd picture on pinterest and i knew i had to do it....."thank you lyr's brain" we all say in unison! ALSO happy 2025!! new year new lyr so stay tuned for some big changes i may make!! much love lyrnation <3
🪄 now playing, trial, phoenix wright: ace attorney ost
🪄 word count, 1.1k | for @kstrucknet
Being in this situation was less than ideal for you.
You were being tried in court because an entitled lady wanted to sue you and your entire workplace for "conspiring to kill her" because you had accidentally put pickles on her sandwich, to which she was "deathly" allergic.
(If you could even be allergic to pickles.)
And so, here you were—standing in an overly decorated courtroom just three days before New Year's Eve, waiting for the lawyer who was supposed to be defending you in the trial.
Your friends had all heard good things about the specific lawyer they had hired for you, and you trusted them, even if the main thing they told you to comfort your obvious worry was that the lawyer was "drop-dead gorgeous".
(Like that was supposed to help you not lose tens of thousands of dollars just before the new year.)
The doorknob twisted, and you stood up, brushing off your outfit as you stood at attention, ready to see your defense attorney.
If he couldn't save you, there was no way you were going to make it out of this courtroom alive, and you'd have to call your mom and tell her you lost your job and have to live with her again and—
Suddenly, all of your worries, fears, and thoughts in general popped like a bubble to a finger, face heating up at the sight in front of you.
He was drop-dead gorgeous.
"You must be..." He trails off, voice rich and confident as he takes your hand in his. You shake it, nodding as you try to clear your throat. "I am."
"I'm Lee Seokmin. I'll be your attorney for this rather unusual case." The smile he gives you sends your body to heaven and back, and you're sure you've been gripping his hand like you'd drown if you let go.
"Thank you, Mr. Lee. I—trust me, I didn't think I would be in this situation either," Blushing, you stare down at your shoes, and Seokmin offers you that shockingly pretty smile again, shaking his head as he retracts his hand.
"That doesn't mean we can't get you out of it, though. Have a seat." He gestures to the empty seat behind you, and you nod, sitting down as he stares at you, dark brown eyes taking in your features.
"So, I've read the case over a few times, but I need to hear your side of the story so I can argue with the prosecutor." Seokmin's voice is firm, experienced—and you would be lying if you didn't think it was extremely attractive.
"Well, long story short—I didn't know the lady was allergic to pickles, and put them on her sandwich like normal because I do that with all sandwiches all the time." You say, blushing at the absurdity of all of this—here you were, telling a really attractive man about a silly mistake of yours turning into a court case.
"She returned after taking a few bites, gestured down at the pickles she pulled out, and then went on a thirty-minute rampage about how we were trying to kill her because she was rich or something."
Sighing, you rub your head, shaking it moments later as you look up at Seokmin.
"I honestly don't really know. All I know is that I could lose my job, and thousands of dollars if I lose." You sigh, your voice becoming shaky as you look down at your feet again.
Lord forbid you to lose this case—everything would change if you did, and not for the better.
"Hey, hey, look at me," Seokmin's voice is calm now, and you follow his instructions, studying his features. His eyes meet yours, and you know he could break anyone with just his stare─it's soft, intense, and almost makes you want to break down on the spot.
"It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. You put your faith in me, and I'm going to do everything in my power to prove to you that you did the right thing. No stress here, okay? I know you're innocent. Now, I'll get the court to realize it too." Seokmin's words are instantly comforting, and you nod, giving him a smile as your eyes glance down to the little figure sticking from his pocket.
It had been distracting you the whole time, and you had wanted to get a glance at it for a while now. Now that you finally did, the smile that spread across your face was impossible to hide. It was a little bunny rabbit, cute little face peaking just over the top of the pocket.
"Um, Mr. Lee?" You asked, and Seokmin's eyes widened just slightly, replying quickly nevertheless. "Yes?"
"Is that bunny supposed to be the pocket square for your suit?" You gesture to the little bunny peaking out from his chest pocket, and Seokmin's face turns red, laughing nervously as he takes it from his pocket.
"Oh, um─no, no. My daughter, she─" His explanation was hurried, as the blush on his cheeks grew, and your heart broke just a little at the implications of his sentence, even if you knew it was wrong.
He had a daughter. He must be married, then.
"It's cute, though! Your wife must have forgotten to take the bunny out of your pocket," You say, and Seokmin smiles, shaking his head. His eyes become far away for a second, and he shakes his head again, sighing.
"I have no wife to do that for me anymore, so it must've just been my daughter's doing." Seokmin's laugh is bitter, and you fall silent, noting his now solemn countenance.
It hurt you to see him sad, even if you've only known him for a few minutes. He was a dedicated man, and you feel like that didn't apply to just his job. If only you could offer him some comfort of some kind. Would you even be able to do that? Would it be right? Would you be overstepping your boundaries as his client?
Seokmin recovers quickly, shaking himself slightly as he clears his throat, standing up as he glances down at his watch. The pain has vanished from his eyes, something like confidence in his eyes as he looks at you.
"I apologize for falling silent unexpectedly. Let's get you in there and prove you innocent, yeah?" Seokmin's smile is warm, and you nod, giving him a smile that changes his whole world for just a second.
It's warm, inviting, trusting, and he feels his face heat up as he turns away, feeling a swell of something in his chest.
Something he hasn't felt in what feels like forever.
Then and there, as the two of you leave the quiet room, he makes his decision: Seokmin will win this case for you. He was starting to think he'd win any case for you if you asked him.
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bloopitynoot · 2 days ago
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Reading TGCF: Chapter Two
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For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.
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Today's tea: Masala Chai!
I am so excited my ink replacement came in for my pen so I can finally use the fancy boy again. The last two chapters have been gel pen and it just isn't the same.
Knowing this though- ignore all of the ink smudges XD I got too eager with the new ink and it is a mess LOL
Let's get into chapter two!
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I was nervous that for some reason this chapter was going to be a POV switch or something BUT no! Fuck yeah let's get into the bride eating monster quest! p47
okay but the fact that out of 1000's of weddings only 17ish brides went missing makes me think that these brides didn't want to get married and opted out voluntarily. p 47
Xie Lian definitely: thank fuck these two are at least competent. p48
Honestly I am convinced that his weird way of doing things RE: sleeping in the bushes, was part of what led to the happenstance of his ascensions. Like this guy taking the untraveled path just caused him to bump into things that got him merits. p50 (my running theory at least).
Mu Qing is SO dramatic, "But when Mu Qing saw that his statues had been hideously sculpted, he would either secretly destroy them and make people start over, or appear in dreams to express his displeasure. This went on for a long time until the grand believers learned that they had to find an artisan master who could sculpt beautifully" p51
This temple feels off. Like what is going on with this woman with the torn skirt. pp54-55
RIP Nan Feng's social skills p55
omg. This poor guy just wants to sincerely help her with her skirt situation but she (rightfully given the circumstances, girl same, i'd choose the bear in this scenario) thinks the half-naked Xie Lian is a freak about to do horrible shit to her. p55
Nan Feng & Fu Yao seeing Xie Lian's wrecked torso: omg who did you fight???? Xie Lian: the wind lol p56
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oh shit and he has a mark of the cursed shackle? (I'm assuming his neck? or are there more because he was banished more than once??). p57
By lol. This is so silly. Now I know why the chapter was titled "Tremendous Masculinity". This is so embarrassing, what an oops. p59
When I was reading this part I thought that the "sin" was the altar in the temple breaking when Nan Feng and Fu Yao were fighting but NOPE, Xie Lian is over here like "damn. That was a perfectly good steamed bun that landed on the floor". p62
okay okay okay! I take back my previous belief that the brides were willingly leaving because HOLY SHIT girl's HEAD just fell off!!!!! 65
This chapter was too short!
I wanted to get into the bride snatching but we had a temple side side quest. This is fine, because now we have an actual monster a foot, but now it means I have to wait until TOMORROW to read about it.
Until then!
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theegemini92 · 1 day ago
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I have a genuine question. Why do people cape for Elain? We know so little about her. Why do you like her? I really want to know.
Before you read don’t quote me, out of your own thoughts just tell me why you like her and I am all for non-warrior females especially MC in novels because the warrior mean girl trope is so played and overrated to me. All of us women come in shapes and forms with our own thoughts. It’s about time we start breaking this fantasy curse of warriors only. And I will say this ViVianne is my fave female character in ACOTAR. A female worthy of High Queen status.
Now personally have a lot against Elain though. I don’t know why people like her so much. My main issue with Elain that came to light in AcOMF is that she is just not the kind of person would be there for you in hard times. She won’t wait it out with you. I think this showed that with her and Nesta. their closeness was one sided.
• She always clung to Nesta because Nesta had the mean streak and will physically protect her.
• She is made rich by Tamlins so called blood money and she finds the next best thing to a king to marry. Now she’s fae the in a new utopia with little poverty and the next best thing who would protect her delicate self is Azriel the simp once again simping and pining for a female not his 🤣 And he clearly has money and a secure job. Why would she hang out with Lucien? No money no land, titles nothing and lives in the human world eating human food?
• She from Feyre pov laughs at her when Nesta is mean to her.
• she was always gardening. Gardening what? To me all that gardening was her burying dead bodies. 😂 It’s always the quiet ones.
• She does not out right rejects Lucien as a matter of fact she tries her best to ignore him and I get it she doesn’t know him and clearly wants nothing to do with him so why can’t she tell feyre, the one constantly bringing him over she doesn’t want to see him and accept the bond? What sort of game is that?
•is she not also an older sister to ferret? What did she do for ferret? Why does Nesta take the brunt of all the hate? Why is Elain IN THE SHADOWS like azriel? Why does everyone in her family protect her and has made the fandom do the same? I call bs honestly. In the original beauty and the beast all sisters or one was evil in the end but I know sjm would go with the direction of the triple goddess blah blah blah and she will be good etc. I love drama and if she is an evil sister I’d be here for it 🤣 but in the meantime I just don’t get it.?
• And don’t get me started on the whole theory of her being in the spring court we don’t want her there. her love for flowers etc.
Like someone explain to me why you like Elain Archeron? I don’t get it. 🤷🏽‍♀️
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pollen · 3 months ago
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hi fellow neurodivergent people
i hate to jump on the "i think i might have adhd" bandwagon, but if i think i might have adhd, how do i bring it up to my care team as a 28-year-old cis woman who was a massive overachiever until i couldn't keep up the ruse anymore?
#idk what happened when i got laid off it seriously is like my brain BROKE i cannot do anything#i have not done much of anything in a year. and i think it's bc my coping mechanisms were 1. self-medicate but ESPECIALLY do that while#2. overcommitting. because it kept me busy and distracted. i excelled in school because i could focus on it without it giving me anxiety#school was honestly almost the only thing that didn't give me anxiety as a kid. and i never felt quite Right like i didn't feel like i fit#in with my peers. i've always felt like a human being that isn't a person. like something's not quite right. i excel but i feel like i'm#doing it wrong because it's SO hard for me. i graduated my BA and BS programs with a 4.0#but it came with the cost of alienating all of my friends and family and becoming really reclusive and weird and distant and anxious#but i really just wanted to do well at the one thing i felt i was good at. which doesn't seem like something i should take note of#idk. my life feels like a claustrophobic box. i feel like i'm buried alive and i can't get myself out because i can't work#because i can't focus. but maybe i'm just stupid and lazy and want everyone to take care of me forever so i can continue laying around doin#fuck all. which i do a lot because i'm chronically ill. idk. like is there ground to stand on here. i literally have zero friends rn#and i feel so so so sos so anxious any time i am working because i worry i'm going to do something wrong or forget to do something or make#lots of mistakes that get me in trouble. i'm so scared of making mistakes it keeps me from doing anything at all. but i get so anxious bc#i'm not doing anything! i'm wasting time! and i can't focus on anything when i AM working because i have to get up and pace#like i HAVE to move around or i start to feel like i need to peel my skin off like i'm an orange#like. is it anything at all. or is this just me being someone who has Other Stuff going on
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covingtons · 27 days ago
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as someone whose top 5 artists have always contained one direction since the very first spotify wrapped, I thought I was prepared for the slide show but playing Back For You as they told me I have changed was absolutely DIABOLICAL
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hotsugarbyglassanimals · 20 days ago
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it's probably the sunnier weather that's doing stuff to my brain to make me more optimistic but it's so interesting having a brain that craves a lot of self-fulfillment to the point where I can move past some hang-ups around perfection by going "oh I really wanna do that though" and then I do it well because researching how to do it right is also a rewarding part of the process
#it comes with the double edged sword of dropping projects as soon as they become a bit more involved/difficult#or when they don't feel fulfilling#but maybe it's better to take a break and come back to something with new knowledge ?#maybe it's good that my brain has a built in 'if it sucks hit da bricks' function ?#i just wish that i had more stamina for these things when they start lacking intrinsic rewards#it just feels like compared to my other family members i lose steam very very quickly and since we all have the same disorder i should be-#- 'just as capable'... but honest to god my under-activity feels SO severe#it honestly feels like compared to others my threshold for mental exhaustion is half the normal benchmark it should be#you know how there were studies done that found that 4 hours is the maximum amount of time people can work before a decline in efficiency?#i swear to god when the activity is something i have no internal reward for it takes 1-2 hours for that decline to start. and my brain -#- crashes HARD. my eyes start to glaze over. i start forgetting how to speak. my brain starts acting like it's 2-3 am and that i need to -#- sleep. i don't push myself not because i coddle myself but because i perform WAY worse. my work becomes unintelligible#or if it's some other kind of task (such as cleaning) my brain desperately tries to take shortcuts in order to get it done#i am trying to avoid a situation where i have to fix up the shitty job i did after the fact!#it's just kind of crazy to me how this is viewed as laziness LOL 'you did a bad job!' because i was pushed past my limit!#not to mention... i get burned out for DAYS if i push myself too hard. i am trying to conserve my efficiency#if you want me to do a better job... i need more time. and trust me: i'll do an excellent job if you let me rest#i am a very smart and capable person who cares about doing a good job - and i have a fine eye for smaller details as well#the trade-off here is i'll need some time to find joy and fulfillment somewhere else for a little bit while i rest. let me excel ok?#idk where this high self esteem came from other than like. realizing i wrote an entire research proposal in such short time#while receiving positive feedback with very few notes for improvement. i just sat down an added another section today based on -#-feedback and realized like 'wait. i know what i'm doing and i probably care about this far more than the average classmate'#i've been having a lot of thoughts lately and i sort of want to get to the bottom of how i have a difficult time coping w/ burnout#and i also want to figure out how to offset the costs of the stuff i need to do... it's a process
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medicinemane · 2 months ago
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Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy
You have... very very very very very very very very smart people you know, and they're say something that not only isn't true, but literally is as opposite of the truth as it's possible to be... and you'll... gently inform them "hey, it's actually a bit more like this" and then they just kinda... go on saying literally the exact same thing
I'm not sure if it's just that... I often feel like I must be very bad at communicating, or people must just not notice/ignore a lot of what I say, but... I don't know
Like dearest friend, you've said something as absurd as... I don't know, it's hard to say without saying it, but honest to god about as absurd as saying the United States was a part of the USSR, that level of completely getting it backwards
...and it just doesn't seem to matter when I try to explain it... I legit don't even know if you read what I said
Really end up feeling like I'm going nuts sometimes
#to be clear; I don't mind people disagreeing with me (though that's not what's happened here... I don't think I came into it at all)#but all I need in order to be able to work with disagreement is just... knowing you at least heard and understood me#like if it's 'I get that you think that vanilla is a good flavor of icecream; but I really prefer chocolate'... ok; this works for me#it's that... a lot of the time it honest feels more like 'what are you talking about? vanilla isn't a flavor' where... huh?#let's take a real example; not everyone needs to agree with me on nuclear#but like... someone saying 'I get that it's way safer these days; but I still worry about waste storage'... well ok then#but if it's just like 'but it's dangerous and will explode' even after I've explained about the designs now#where there's a salt plug that with melt and drain before anything can happen; and these materials don't like to run away#...and it's not like they're asking me to back up the source; it's like I never said anything at all...#what am I supposed to do here? you feel me on that? do you start to get why I feel like I'm going crazy when that's how it often feels?#no one is obliged to agree with me but... literally just active listening would fix this... say you heard me and we're good#acknowledge that I voiced something and it's been noted#honestly... honestly my who life it's felt like I must somehow actually be invisible#...to an extent maybe I'm a figment of my own imagination; I might well be a ghost that's lonely and makes you all up#...for all the impact my actions have#or maybe literally everything I say just comes out garbled... is that it?#this post is about something very specific; but it's also about something that happens a lot with a lot of different people#on a broader scale; why is it no one else seems to be able to connect the dots#and these aren't like... conspiracy theory dots; these are like russia buys drones from Iran; therefore russia and Iran are partners#that's the kind of dots I'm talking about connecting; please tell me that's not a conspiracy theory to you... it seems plain to me#I don't know... I really don't... I don't think much I say will ever have any impact anywhere on anyone#...honestly a good 90% of the time people don't even respond to what I say#not like my posts here; I mean direct in dms or whatever; I'll say stuff and it's just silence or a new subject#again; across multiple people; it's common... it's... I think it happens more often than it doesn't#I can instantly name 4 conversations with 4 different people that's happened with lately#and that's not counting the 3 where I know the reason why it's happened#I really am something unfit to live; the evidence is endless#mm tag so i can find things later
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smol-tired-binch-blog · 2 years ago
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He is like an angel to me <3
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hirokiyuu · 2 years ago
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(ripping my hair out by the handful) Sol Is Not Trapped In The Time Loop Sol Is There Because They Choose To Be
#life on earth i am begging you please get life on earth#teenexo stuff#this is my biggest adn pettiest pet peeve but every time a fic is tagged fix it abt either#a) sol leaving the time loop or#b) dys not [redacted]#i start ripping out my hair. please. please. please#the irony is besk lives au actually does hit point b eventually however. however#i dont think its a fix it for him to do it or not do it i think its just a choice he can choose to make#i really do honestly and genuinely believe its fine and morally neutral and not a bad thing#i dont think relationships need to last forever to be deep and meaningful and i think dys staying for sol for so long is already like#a sign of his love and how much he cares for them. like. i think its fine. i genuinely do think its fine that he goes#idk theres a quote from this book i really like thats smth like uhhh#your lover doesnt belong to you they are choosing to lend themself to you every day#and i think abt that w/rt dys/sol a lot its just good u kno#dys stays for sol because he loves them. he leaves because he wants to do that too#and i think the act of him staying bc he loves them is really nice! having the time together they have is nice!#idk i also dont think sol would be able to be like....... With dys long term if they didnt understand/acknowledge this at least a little?#basically. i think there are circumstances where dys wouldn't do it but i dont think those are fix-its lol#ANYWAYS clambers back off my soap box#this wasnt even what i came here to complain about#ok back to packing byeeeeeee#i was a teenage exocolonist spoilers ?#probably somewhere in there im guessing
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savrenim · 2 years ago
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BNHA fandom thank you for coming OUT and saving me
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jeremiahthefroge · 5 months ago
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yeah fuck it aphmau's 2015 minecraft roleplay series can get me back into fandom culture. sure. why not. adult life is already so fucking weird.
#heres the thing#im approaching this series as an adult man working on an english degree#as an academic#that part of my trade is a big part of who i am and how i interact with media as a whole#so honestly i am now interested in these videos as a method of storytelling#and asking myself#how did mcd captivate audiences like me? what was done in the making of this to hook people and make them really care?#what did people get out of watching this and was it intentional or what?#obviously this series has immense value to countless people and i wanna understand exactly how to get a better idea of how media shapes us#and also how is media shaped by the way it shapes its audience#like a bad movie that you love anyways because it came out at an important time in your life#or a flawed game series that fans still love#what draws us to these things#what is it exactly that makes things that aren't high art compelling to us?#how does the love of an audience give media value regardless of its artistic value or even its overall quality#im the type of person that is of the opinion that bad media can be good media because of the effect it has on others#like marvel movies are intersting to me as something to study bc its a behemoth of cultural context and context from rights disputes#and i feel like watching the properties says a lot about the current state of the industry and world at large#do i enjoy the movies or shows? not usually lol#ok deadpool v wolverine was kinda fun#but i like to see what the immense funding and the collaboration of hundreds can create#even when its not really like... good#its still interesting#and it still has cultural value! emotional value! i had fun watching deadpool v wolverine#bc i was high and having a good day out with my friends who i love#and i like the general ideas behind marvel stories#thats valuable!#god#ok#nerd rant over
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disappearingcigarette · 1 year ago
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yeah shit is gonna be rocky I think with the friend I’m staying with
#like I had breakfast and I said maybe too jokingly that I felt like I was gonna throw up#and she was just like bookin it to this place she wanted to show me#and I’m yanno. don’t know at all where I’m going and I’m just following her as best as I can#and she turns left and like a person on a scooter came really close to her and ik that was more what she was upset at#but then she was like#giving me attitude like. we’re going over *here* it’s this way I made a *left*#and I’m like yeah dude I don’t know where I’m going#I honestly wish I got along with her better but honestly idk like I’ve had more issues with her than most of my friends#and I want our friendship to work and I think it does from afar or like smaller amounts of time together#but we’re gonna be together for two weekssss#and I’m also very thankful that she’s letting me stay here and this is my first time abroad but idk#I wish that she’s be a bit more conscientious of me but also I am an adult so I shouldn’t need a baby sitter#she’s kind but not nice I suppose which is probably better overall as someone that I need to interact with#I’m also not like cut up about this but I am. worried for how we’re gonna get along throughout the trip#and that’s more why I want to go out to bars with other people around bc tbh I’m not really a bar girlie and clubbing scares me#and she’s into that stuff way more than I am#I think tonight I’m gonna be like hey. we both stayed up super late last night. you don’t have money. I have a meeting at 11pm.#maybe we shouldn’t go out tonight???#alternatively I also feel bad bc she’s had a really hard life and I know that she’s infinitely way more deserving of good things than I am#which is maybe not the mindset to have but it’s the only way I can articulate it#and I know this is also such a stupid first world problem to have to be like ughhh my friend that enjoys my company wants me to visit herrr#first in Italy for two weeks and then whatever country she lives in next year and the year after that#with increasing amounts of time away from home#maybe I’m just learning that traveling internationally is not something i really want to do#and maybe I’m lazy for that bc airports aren’t that bad it’s just the flight and all of the time that I dislike#my legs were so swollen when I landed it was a bit concerning#anyway. I don’t know necessarily if I want to or can really afford to go to Japan or South Korea next year and New Zealand the year after#and that could also be that I’m using my money in a different way#bc I could feasibly go if I still have the same job in two years#and that’s a whole other thing to talk about my relationship with money but anyway.
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