#I believe we need to discuss things as well

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 18: The One Where Two Roads Diverged in a Wood of GIFs and Written Words

“Lukola Crisis Hotline. How may I be of service?”

Me: Houston, we have a problem.

Dad: Do tell!

Me: You won’t believe who showed up last night! –

Dad: Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! Whoa! I don’t know what to say! Wait – let me grab my Coke and my smokes. <waiting> Okay, I’m back. So, Misty appeared out of nowhere with Thang?! Well, this just got fun! <laughing>

For clarity’s sake, my father tends to give everyone a pet name. Some of the pet names are funny; some are quite cruel. But if they help him remember who the players are in this fandom (and in any other situation), I’m game to play along. Plus, his pet names tend to add a little comedy relief to whatever is being discussed, especially when it is not an outwardly funny subject.

In Lukola-Land, Luke is “Thang” (it’s actually “Thing” – as in the hand from The Addams Family – but my dad’s accent muddles the pronunciation into “Thang”); Nicola is “Ireland,” for obvious reasons; Antonia is “Misty,” for, umm, the Clint Eastwood movie, “Play Misty for Me;” and Jake is – well, Jake is actually just “Jake” because my father finds the USS Jakola offensive. In fact, when I was discussing the recent fandom events with him on Friday evening, my dad was genuinely shocked to learn the Jakolas still existed. His pet name for the Jakolas is “Fucking Stupid,” by the way.

Moving on to the matter at hand –

There’s been so much “noise” over the past few weeks that, when taken collectively, it is rather eye-opening. We’ve got Luke’s mother posting on Facebook about “Luke’s girlfriend…from Cyprus.” The leaked funeral video and photos (by allegedly Luke’s family). The Best in Show pap pictures of Nicola and Jake. The “just friends” interview. The disappearance of Jake (because he’s rehearsing for a play) and the sudden reemergence of Antonia.

If you’ve noticed from my recent entries on this blog, I have obviously found most of what has happened of late to be comical and not worth putting into written word. Instead, my thoughts have been dumped into GIF stories. To be honest, I was rather disappointed I couldn’t put this last part – Antonia emerging from the misty edges of the forest – entirely into a GIF story. Her reappearance was like a certain Bond villain coming back to life for the seventh time. In other words, it was total cringe. But it also altered an otherwise slow burning campfire into a motherfucking forest fire.

Me: Thoughts?

Dad: I need some time to think about this one – and a cigarette. Or two. Call me back in 15 minutes.

“Psychotic Fan Rescue Center, at your service.”

Me: You’re a dumbass.

Dad: <laughing> Well, this is insane. It makes no sense and it’s a convoluted mess. Why bring Misty back? She was killed off two seasons ago.

Me: No shit, Sherlock.

Dad: Hell, maybe this has all been a nest of vipers.

A nest of vipers? Ah, yes, the idea that we have a group of venomous snakes thrown into the same close-quartered trench – in an every-man-for-himself type situation – each taking strikes at the others whenever their backs are turned.

In Entries 1, 13, and 15 – with an emphasis on “Entry 13: The One Where the Ashes Blew Towards Us with the Salt Wind from the Sea” – I wrote about what the Lutonia narrative could look like, if real. I will not rehash in detail those entries here, but I will link them at the end of this entry if you want to read, or reread, them.

Now, the General Audience almost certainly didn’t pay a lick of attention to Antonia when she appeared alongside Luke at the Boss event held January 30 (she’s always just been a Face in the Crowd). But the sudden reappearance of Antonia stopped the Lukolas dead in their tracks because – like my dad said – she was seemingly killed off two seasons ago.

The Lukolas have suddenly found themselves at an intersection of confusion and, likely, a bit of distress. The long and winding road we’ve been traveling along has diverged into two paths – and, no, you cannot travel both.

The problem with the Lutonia narrative has always been that Luke has never formally acknowledged Antonia as his girlfriend. In fact, Luke had the perfect opportunity to do so when he posted about the Boss event on his Instagram grid – but he did not. I could rationalize the idea that Luke and Antonia wanted to keep their relationship private after the Papsmear misstep if it weren’t for the fact that Antonia has been historically loud in her social media posts. We spent the summer and fall with insinuation post after insinuation post from Antonia. Yes, all those posts that alluded to her being with Luke without any actual evidence that she was, in fact, with Luke. By the time Antonia got to “Pasta-gate” in mid-November, the Lukola fandom barely even blinked before dismissing her as, well, the antagonist from “Play Misty for Me.” And this leads to something even more problematic for the USS Lutonia – Luke has never rescued Antonia from being ridiculed and torn apart by the fandom. My dad would call – and has called – Luke a cad for this.

Jumping to the other side of this misshapen triangle, we have Nicola and her Assassin (my dad’s pet name for JVN). Assuming Lutonia is real, the only logical answer for Nicola’s behavior is that she has spent months trolling Luke, Antonia, and <gasp> the fandom. Nicola herself has admitted to being chronically online and, at a minimum, being aware of fan edits – so much so that during the London premiere she commented that she and Luke “can’t do anything” without the fandom reacting to it. Therefore, I will call “foul” on anyone who tries to persuade me that Nicola was unaware of, at a minimum, how the Lukola fandom had reacted to the Claddagh ring, Chaos Week, and the October airplane posts. JVN openly mocking Antonia on social media with, for example, their Slick Back Bun routine only added fuel to this fire.

For shits and giggles – and so I can get to the bend in this road – we will roll with my dad’s “Nest of Vipers” theory for a moment. We will concede that Lutonia is real, which, in my opinion, makes Luke the absolute worst boyfriend in London and Antonia a woman who doesn’t mind being treated like roadkill. It also, unfortunately, makes Nicola and Fan Favorite JVN come off like online bullies – with the only plausible reasoning for the bullying being that Luke and Nicola are at odds with each other. No, I take that back – they’re not at odds with each other – they’re seemingly at war with each other. I’ll even amp this up a bit and throw in the suggestion that, assuming Lutonia is real, Netflix & Co. is aware of the strife between its two Polin actors and are protecting their asset with blurred Polin-Lukola posts to pacify the fandom. Dun-Dun-DUNN! And yes! That was a sly nod to Jake.

Me: Thanks for that. You just made Luke into an absolute prick and gave Antonia’s starring role in “Play Misty for Me” to Nicola.

Dad: Hey, I’m not the one who dug up Misty! That was all Thang!

Me: Then why does everyone say Luke is the nicest person? Nicola, his co-stars –  

Dad: All lies.

Me: Would you STOP?!

Dad: But I’m serious! Thang could be a complete pig behind closed doors and Ireland could be on the verge of a psychotic meltdown because, uhh, maybe she’s obsessed with Thang and pissed he chose Misty.

The unfortunate thing about this Nest of Vipers theory is that I could almost certainly make a convincing argument that it was legit. I’ve always joked with my Inner Circle of Lukolas that no one wants to see me go rogue, especially not – I’ll bite my tongue on that one. But I will emphasize the importance of keeping an open mind when you’re reviewing information. Always consider both sides of the coin. That said, it’s hard to ignore the evidence that was presented to us through the World Tour interviews and behind-the-scenes footage; therefore –

Me: I’m having a hard time believing Luke is someone who wouldn’t protect his girlfriend. He seems to support Nicola online quite a bit. Why wouldn’t he do the same for Antonia?

Dad: <laughing> Fine. Antonia isn’t his girlfriend. Maybe it’s all just a bunch of fuckery like I’ve always said.

“Fuckery” is my dad’s pet name for PR bullshit. If you didn’t pick up on it in previous entries, I am not fond of PR theories. But I also cannot ignore that PR relationships do exist and have for decades (hell, we could go back centuries and find examples of PR relationships across multiple noble and royal families – think about that, naysayers). It was my dad who first sold me on the possibility of Antonia being PR. So, I will consider this road to PR-ville in the same manner as I did the Nest of Vipers theory – with this PR theory having perhaps the better claim.

I mentioned earlier that the General Audience almost certainly paid little attention to Antonia’s existence at the Boss event. Although some people may find what I’m about to say a bit unkind, it doesn’t make it any less valid (and I’m not saying it to be cruel): Antonia, in the overall scheme of things, is of very little importance to the General Audience. She has less than 15 thousand followers on Instagram, even after being connected to a man who has almost three million. However, oddly enough, that didn’t prevent the Daily Mail from dropping a story which predominantly focused on Antonia within the same timeframe that images from the Boss event were being dropped on the Internet. It also didn’t prevent video footage of Luke and Antonia at the Boss event from being leaked online almost immediately – even when there were undoubtedly more famous celebrities attending the event. I’ll be realistic with this next comment, too: Luke may be relevant to the Bridgerton fandom, but that does not mean he is significant to, say, People Magazine’s average reader. So, why the sudden burst of publicity at this event?

I waited to write this entry to see what Luke did with the exposure from the Boss event. Would he finally put Antonia on his Instagram grid? Would he put her in his Instagram stories? Would Antonia post pictures from the event on her Instagram grid or stories? Would Luke unambiguously acknowledge a relationship with Antonia?

Although Luke posted to his Instagram grid and stories about the event, he did not include Antonia – at least not directly. The closest he came to including Antonia was via an Instagram story – on which he did not tag her – of a black screen with a link to a Boss TikTok that included images of Luke and Antonia from the event. The TikTok did not tag Antonia either. Luke did not post Antonia’s image to his grid or his stories.

And Antonia didn’t post about the event at all.

I wasn’t sold on a PR narrative when I started writing this entry, but my eyebrows raised when I saw Luke’s “black screen” Instagram story. This was either Luke attempting to circumvent the Lutonia narrative while throwing Antonia a bone, or it was Luke being an absolute douche of a human being. And, if it’s the latter, Mr. Newton needs to check himself into Assholes Anonymous.

I will concede that a couple of mutuals put up a few stories about the event (which disappeared after 24 hours) and Boss included (and tagged) Luke and Antonia in an Instagram and TikTok reel – without formally identifying Antonia as Luke’s girlfriend. On a side note, Luke could have reposted either of these reels – which tagged Antonia – but he did not. Luke also did not like this Boss Instagram reel with Antonia in it (and he does not have a public TikTok account), but Luke did like a separate Boss post of him and David Beckham (without Antonia). The only news outlets that called Antonia Luke’s “girlfriend” were rag-mags like the Daily Mail and Hello, both of which put an emphasis on Antonia. Digital Spy noted that Luke and Antonia “have yet to officially confirm their relationship.” So outside of some tagged reels (that weren’t reposted or acknowledged by Luke) and rag-mag speculation, what did Antonia get from this?

Dad: Publicity.

A single word but one that resonates throughout an otherwise silent wood.

But to be honest, I’m not entirely convinced this was for publicity. I’m not saying I believe Antonia is Luke’s girlfriend either – that’s a whole cauldron of contradictions on its own. I’m simply intrigued that Antonia has her Instagram tags turned off and she has not yet allowed any Boss event tags to appear on her page. So, outside of some junky rag-mag callouts and a few TikToks, what benefit did Antonia receive? And, if Antonia didn’t truly benefit from this appearance (or, at least she doesn’t appear to be reaping the rewards from a girlfriend or PR standpoint), who did benefit?

I mentioned at the beginning of this post that a series of events had happened one after the other over a relatively short two-week period: (1) Luke’s mum mentioning “Luke’s girlfriend…from Cyprus” in a Facebook response; (2) leaked video and photos of Luke from a funeral; (3) those utterly ridiculous pap pictures of Nicola and Jake; (4) Nicola stating she and Luke were “just friends” in an interview; and (5) the sudden summoning of Antonia after exactly six months of being MIA.

As I sat here writing out the events of the past two weeks – and considering the reappearance of Antonia – I couldn’t help but speculate as to whether each of these events was meant to have a specific purpose that didn’t get its desired result.

The comment by Luke’s mother was so far out in left field, most Lukolas chucked it up to being suspicious and dismissed it as such. The funeral pictures and video released by one of Luke’s family members was quickly scrubbed from social media; therefore, just as quickly ignored. The pap pictures of Nicola and Jake were openly mocked across social media as being staged. The “just friends” comment – after almost a year of, particularly, Nicola dodging that phrase – didn’t seem to send many Lukolas overboard. Is it possible that the fandom’s mild reaction to all these events wasn’t anticipated? Which leads me to wonder if Luke and Nicola wanted a reaction and realized the only way they were going to get it was to play the only card they had left – Antonia.  

When you look at the above referenced events individually and collectively, they appear to indicate a push to shut down the Lukola narrative. Why?

They could have shut down the Lukolas before the World Tour even took off. They could have shut down the Lukolas during the World Tour. They could have shut down the Lukolas after Papsmear. Why wait almost a full year to draw the line in the sand? Especially after every devoted Lukola would argue that (mostly) Nicola has left a trail of Swiftie-like clues to insinuate Lukola is real, and that Luke has made a visible effort to remove Antonia from his narrative.

Whatever the reasoning may be, we must admit Antonia’s reappearance had a purpose – and one that we need to respect. I have a hard time believing Luke would voluntarily step in the same pile of dog shit he stepped in back in June without a valid and significant reason for doing so.

And this is where I will draw the line.

I will not speculate further about why Antonia suddenly rose from the ashes of Manderley – and I will not tell you which road to take from here. That’s something you need to do on your own but, be warned that regardless of which road you choose – the one where you conclude Luke and Antonia are a couple, or the one where you decide Antonia is playing the role of PR distraction – the Lukolas are currently fighting a losing battle.

The Lukolas have become collateral damage. They’ve either been caught in the crossfire of an online war between Luke and Nicola (and their respective sidekicks) over, presumably, Antonia; or they’re the unwitting victims of some messy PR bullshit that has resulted in Lukolas being bullied across every social media platform by rabid Jakolas and Anti-Lukes.

Amazingly, though, many Lukolas remain resilient.

When the going gets tough…

But sometimes the tough don’t get going.

Yesterday, someone wrote to me, “Why are we still here? Just when we think something good is finally going to happen we get pushed back down. I’m tired of the dumb games.”

I rarely answer “Asks,” but my response to this comment is:

“Two roads diverged in a wood…”

Two roads.

One road is quite disheartening and the other is shrouded in underbrush.

But what you've overlooked is that there is an alternate path – a third road – the one that brought you to this point.

Turn around.

That road takes you back home – and, if you’re ready to go home, go home. It’s okay. It takes an unbelievable amount of courage to admit you’ve had enough. Remember that saying – “A wise woman once said, ‘fuck this shit,’ and she lived happily ever after.”

Take your time and decide what makes the most sense to you.

Dad: What are you thinking?

Me: Of a poem.

Dad: Oh, which one today?

Me: “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by…”

Dad: Which road is that…?

P.S. Just for a bit of comic relief at the end of an otherwise somber post (not even Dad could make it lighthearted), I just wanted to say:

I love eating grapes.

IYKYK.

Those links I promised:

[seewetter]

Absolutely.

Although there's many things happening in parallel:

well-meaning people (not just cis feminists) focusing on psychology when that's inappropriate (often at the expense of considering the wider social context) or undervaluing community building and mobilization

well-meaning people focusing only on who is targeted not because they value reverse engineering bigoted psychology ... but because they are fixated on some groups over others

well-meaning people focusing only on who is affected for reasons similar to those mentioned above

Like recently a post went around trying to completely sideline trans women (and I mean sideline) from recent legislative issues targetting the "protection of women" from "woke gender ideology" and instead center intersex people because the definitions put forth by that legislation would legally define intersex people out of existence.

Now I understand and appreciate that existential risk that results from a formalized legal erasure of intersex people's biological existence. I really appreciate why people want to make intersex people a central issue when discussing this legislation. But they can't just become the central issue, the only thing under discussion, when the law also existentially threatens the entire queer community, especially the trans community and is aimed at trans people and specifically leverages anxieties about women's safety from trans women in order to make the entire law sound coherent, reasonable and socially acceptable.

Like I'll always try and make time for anyone's existential concerns, whether they are affected or targeted!

But as I explained in response to the intersex (and perisex trans) people who felt that intersex people were the singular central issue, this leads to a political strategy in which a group of innocents (in this case intersex people) get affected by a policy not aimed at them -- and I find it comparable to a few years ago, where DREAMers (children of undocumented immigrants) were the innocents, rather than undocumented immigrants themselves. Pulling on heartstrings and making a big deal out of this particular innocently victimized group led to bipartisan support for the DREAMers...which eventually fizzled out as public attention waned. So DREAMers never became a wedge issue to challenge how legal status is defined (or to abolish it altogether) and instead, DREAMers suffering (they lose their parents who are deported, it's genuinely horrible, especially for a child) just became a distraction from the important opposition that people need to give to the rhetoric and declared values of their opponents!

Like if someone is stirring up a moral panic and basing it on talk about "defending women" (not defending men, defending women) and the moral panic leads to policy that violates human rights and freedoms, what do we gain strategically from talking not about the casual inhumanity of this alleged "defense of women", about the monstrosities it inflicts on its intended targets, but instead only focus our attention of unintended targets who may be severely affected (in some cases more severely affected). Like that just sounds like a rightward shift to me, an abandonment of universal human rights as a guiding principle, if that makes sense? Like we can intellectually wax poetic about how we value human rights, but if we manage crises where we could help all affected people but instead we use the concept of "affectedness" to only help people who are especially affected...I find that cowardly and short-sighted. Or even if only an unrelated group were affected, I think it matters that the intended victim may have escaped victimization only because of luck ... that the intended target of inhuman policymaking is relevant precisely because that's who is in the crosshairs. Like I do believe who is being targeted and hunted for sport might have a lot of predictive value and allow us to allocate certain support structures more effectively than only trying to fix specific damage done, often as a side effect of a different process.

To give a more broad example of this: in the long term, one of the main stumbling blocks for feminism proves to be the financial dependency of homemakers (like housewives) from people who have money (their families, their partners). Given that housework doesn't pay a living wage and enable an independent lifestyle, a lot of people (in particular a lot of men) who earn money are reluctant to switch to full-time housework, meaning that the main breadwinner in many households remains male and the main dependent adult remains a woman. That dependency really entrenches ideas of who men and women "naturally" are and gives rise to the misleading and incorrect intuitive judgment that gender equality has been achieved yet biology makes the sexes different. This is a pretty central structure, yet it also focuses our feminism away from trying to dispel gender stereotypes mainly on tv and in movies... and instead focuses on trying to give people financial independence. And once we think in these financial and resource-centric terms, I think this kind of feminism becomes a kind of witness to large economic forces that shape human lives, thinking about how ableist or classist stereotypes arise from living conditions that drive people toward peak performance or that are the result of a society where classes exist in the first place. (No poverty -- and no one looks down on or mistreats the poor...).

These things aren't psychological, and yet they are political blueprints that help explain why targeting arises to begin with. To be affected by bad things, all it takes is a natural disaster or a mistake. Being affected doesn't confront us with much complexity or challenge. The answer to people affected by flooding...is to help. Being targeted implies various mechanisms, various tools, various relationships, it implies some need for ambitious problem-solving.

That's where these approaches get their strengths and their weaknesses. Talking affected helps us quickly mobilize support. Talking targeted helps us begin to understand what will avert future crises of this type. Both are necessary. The art is to develop enough of a sense of how the targeting works so you can mostly help everyone affected. Once you know how the targeting works, it's less likely you'll misunderstand how the ongoing situation you are in is developing -- those misunderstandings, like the assumption that focusing on DREAMers and building alliances "across the aisle" to start from the worst-affected and work your way up, can be costly.

Like especially in the trans community, the idea that transfeminine people need to "shut up in solidarity" is quite old. Back in 2011 I heard it mostly second-hand. These days I see it everywhere on Tumblr and if we aren't careful it may take over communities IRL (in some places, like certain community conventions, it has already demonstrably done so). And here, the idea of "we are all affected" plays a role. Trans men who find themselves faced with a form of misogyny that is used to both misgender them, closet them and do violence to them are often looking for word that isn't misogyny to describe how they are affected, often trying to mirror a word like "transmisogyny" (transmisandry, isomisogyny, transandrophobia etc. have all been proposed at various points in time). The reason this doesn't lead to much solidarity is that these attempts seem to follow a cycle:

Step 1: Find a word for my suffering / how I am affected

Step 2: (Implicit) be disinterested in why I am not the primary target used to leverage transphobic hate campaigns; refuse to engage existing academic literature on the topic of the long-term plans and psychology of transphobes

Step 3: Construct a worldview in which I am more affected since I experience a form of misogyny blended with transphobia, so I must be the intersectional victim of these two axes of oppression.

Step 4: Disregard what transfeminine people have to say as privileged, disregard suggestions that I read academic literature as manipulation attempts or classism or ableism

Step 5: Develop an overall hostile view of transfeminism (two transfem-centric) and of transfeminine people. Become hostile to rhetoric like tma/tme (I agree this rhetoric is unnecessary and used by insular communities of transfeminine users on Tumblr to be assholes, but obviously it is rhetoric that was developed with a lot of thought, found a place in academic writing for a reason and wholesale vilifying people who use it as oppressors is a bit much)

Step 6: Work to center trans men over trans women, collaborate with TERFs that praise one's assertions of more severe victimhood, allege that transfeminists are playing oppression olympics... while trying to assert that oneself is the ultimate oppressed victim.

The whole crux of transfeminism since Julia Serano's Whipping Girl has been that idea of targetting. I'm not accusing you, dear Tumblr user boreal-sea, of anything here! (I hope you know that -- I appreciate your original post and your response!) But I do not want this to be forgotten. Like the targetting conversation just is pretty central to understanding how people maintain oppressive structures. Without a whipping girl (or an equivalent), patriarchy doesn't know what to do. Anyone who has read Manufacturing Consent can imagine how Islamophobia fits into the manufacturing of ideological consensus. Anyone who engages with Adorno and Horkheimer can imagine how Antisemitism in Nazi Germany was central to the functioning of fascism, just as the figure of Wokeness is fairly central to Republican claims of improving the world rather than making it worse. These are all targets. They are all targets needed to maintain the negative effect. If nationalists can't terrorize their fellow citizens into "shared national values", then they lose the ability to convincingly argue that they belong to a nation. And that means that they lose solidarity, unity, they lose their support to bully other countries and extort wealth from them. That's why nationalists *need* domestic targets, groups of people they can vilify and oppress within their own borders who are considered citizens of equal status to themselves by the state, whose status nationalists seek to remove. Nationalists will opportunistically shift targets to whatever they think they can get away with. If we focus on "who is affected" ...well that may change, within a very short span of time. Had the monkeypox epidemic not been nipped in the bud, the whole queer community could have been a prime target. Had 3rd wave feminism never happened, conservatives in the trans community might have become prominent anti-feminists...prominent enough to make "being transgender" a central "proof" of the evils of feminism and potentially the nationalists would have all been pro-trans, instead of welcoming TERFs into their hateful arms. Like we have to understand what is going on, we have to understand the goals, the plans, the broader context, the broader project and ambitions...otherwise we are just doing temporary damage control.

Does that make sense? Like I think "who is affected" is a really good and valuable question, I just also have seen it (like any idea) been abused. Like I'm just as worried that "who is targeted" becomes an excuse for endless theory and inaction. I just think we need to be careful.

I’m going to try to articulate this in a way that perhaps everyone will understand.

I don’t think it’s helpful to discuss who is “targeted” by any particular policy. I think it’s more helpful to discus who that policy affects.

Abortion bans affect everyone with a uterus.

In the USA, statistically, most people with a uterus are perisex cis women. This means that the majority of people affected by an abortion ban will be perisex cis women.

However

The largest group is not necessarily the demographic most at risk.

I do not say “perisex cis women as a collective” here because I’m an intersectional feminist and I know that no such collective actually exists. Perisex cis women experience a kaleidoscope of intersecting risk factors that can make them more or less vulnerable to reproductive harm.

And taking intersectionality into account, we have to acknowledge that trans and intersex people with uteruses face additional risks when accessing abortion compared to perisex cis women. This may mean certain trans and intersex individuals may have higher risks than some perisex cis women.

Acknowledging this increased risk isn’t ignoring perisex cis women or erasing them from the discussion. It’s just acknowledging the most vulnerable among us.

[truelovepolinator]

State of the Ship Address: Where we stand after the Hard Launch

Well, this has certainly been an interesting week, hasn’t it?

Last Saturday, I was the happiest of shippers, sharing why I’m so sure it’s Luke. By Wednesday, I was sharing my thoughts on why Nicola’s “just a friend” comment was nothing to worry about. Yes, truly, Nicola’s comment was a hit to the ship. A very palpable hit. Yet, we sailed on. Then on Thursday, well, the ship very nearly sunk with Luke’s Hugo Boss “hard launch” of Antonia. Nearly.

There’s one thing I’ll say I know for sure. Nicola knew she was getting that question about fans wanting her to marry Luke and she had her answer prepared. I have no doubt about that. In all likelihood, her people asked him to ask that question. Otherwise, it’s out of the box for that kind of industry/awards promotion interview. It’s not an interview for the fans, it’s for the voters. She WANTED to dispel the idea that she and Luke might have fallen in love on set because that perception would hurt her chances at the SAG Awards.

There’s no question that Nic and Luke decided together that the time had come to send an armed nuclear torpedo into the ship for once and for all. And so, they did. Indeed, it’s only thanks to our wits, grit, and some very skillful maneuvering that we managed to keep the ship from sinking to the bottom of the ocean. We may be taking on water, but we’re bailing it faster, and we’re still afloat, if only just.

This does not, however, mean that I’m ignoring what they’ve said this week. On the contrary, I’m paying very, very close attention. I’m paying attention not only to their words (or in Luke’s case, the story he’s telling with that hard launch), but also to the subtext, the backstory, the character histories, and the outtakes. I’m paying close attention both to what they’ve told us and to what they haven’t.

I’m thinking about every bit of it. I am, by nature, very analytical. In the Lukola intelligence community, I’d say I’m more of an analyst than a detective. I don’t go out there gathering information (tracking every tag, monitoring friends, family, adjacents, finding old, hidden content, etc.). I don’t even know how to get metadata from Instagram. I’d be grateful if someone could tell me.

But when the detectives bring me evidence, I analyze the hell out of it. There are great detectives out there, but that’s not my skillset. I’m great at sitting at my desk and studying the evidence presented to identify patterns, interpret clues, and assemble those clues into a watertight case.

I thought that’s what I had, a watertight case. And you need your case to be watertight when you’re sailing these rough seas, right?

Then this week, Nicola and Luke decided to tell me my case had fallen apart, and to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel. I’m not as devastated as I thought I might be. I think that’s because I’m still not sure I believe them. They’ve both told us the same thing this week, that they are absolutely, positively not together. They’ve told us in no uncertain terms. And I always thought I would believe them if that time came. And yet, there’s something just a little too suspicious and convenient about the timing for me to trust it entirely. It doesn’t quite pass the smell test.

To be clear, I’m not saying I definitely don’t believe them. I think it’s very possible they’ve told us the truth this week and we simply have to live with it. We have to shift our ship back to “endgame” mode, and out of “happening now” mode.

In some ways, this would be a relief. If I actually accepted that they are not together at all at this point, I could begin to let them go. If I don’t see their launch coming, why hang around? The wait for endgame could be eons. I love them together, but I could do a hell of a lot of other things with my time in the meantime. Why do I need to follow and discuss their every move if it’s not headed to the only result I care about? I could check out completely and let them do their thing.

I’ll watch Bridgerton, and their other work when it looks interesting, and otherwise peace out. I don’t have to be “a fan” to enjoy their work. I have loads of favorite actors whose work I love, and I follow very few of them on socials. I could simply shift NicLuke into that category and move on.

I don’t actually have to care so much about them. All this parasocial bs takes a lot of time and energy, and while that investment of time and energy is good for them because we keep them in the public discourse, it’s not necessarily the highest, best use of our time for ourselves, is it? I could just let it go. We could all just let it go. Wouldn’t that be a relief?

The problem is that I do care about them. They got us hooked during that World Tour and now we’re invested. I’m invested. I’ve put a lot into them and I’d like a return on my investment, thanks. I want to see them happy. Together. I want to see them happy together. Many of us do. So, what if we don’t get that?

Well, I’ll come back to that question. But right now, I’m more interested in the question of WHY. Why did they decide now was the time to torpedo the ship? After all these months of weird, yet skillful combination of utter silence and semi-explicit hints and breadcrumbs. Why now, after a year of active shipping, seven full months after the WT ended, long after Bridgerton 3-month ratings were locked, why spontaneously this week? And why did they do it in such a coordinated way? The SAG nomination, yes, but is there more to it?

I have more theories and variations on theories than I can count. But here are the four key interpretations I want to explore.

It’s exactly what I said this week with Nicola’s interview and my quick post on Thursday. They are still together, with major life changes ahead, and Nicola is up for a SAG. They need more privacy than ever AND Nicola needs to distance herself from the “they fell in love on-set” narrative so that she can be taken seriously as the terrific actor she is, who acted her ass off in Season 3. She doesn’t want to be seen as someone who was only that good because she was “really falling in love.”

They’re genuinely not together, Luke is actually with Antonia (whether on-and-off or all along) and they decided to shut down the shipping now purely because it was impacting Nic’s SAG nomination (see 1 for details). Or maybe L also decided it was time to launch to take the invasive scrutiny off his family.

They’re not together, L is with A, and Nic knew he was going to take her to the HB event, so she prepared fans and pre-empted any “poor, rejected Nicola” perception by saying what she did during her interview.

They were together, and now it’s over (not mutually exclusive with 2 or 3).

You’ll notice none of these theories turn on Nicola’s hypothetical romantic relationship with Jake. This is largely because I have always said that simply isn’t a romantic relationship. And regardless, it’s not relevant to this week’s developments as the state of her relationship with Jake is unchanged from the past few months. That’s not a new factor in this week’s decision.

Obviously, number 1 above is my preferred explanation. It still continues to be the only explanation that makes sense of absolutely everything we’ve seen. INCLUDING Nicola’s words in that interview, and even Luke taking A to that event if you follow the logic of protecting themselves at a critical time both personally and professionally. It’s easy to forget all the extensive evidence pointing to this, but a review of my recent posts will refresh you. There is much to this saga that literally only makes sense if Lukola is real and the other apparent relationships are PR fakery/fuckery to keep our eyes off the truth.

However, this week, they have actively told us that is not the case. So, we owe it to ourselves to be emotionally and intellectually honest and to be open to the other possibilities as well.

Okay, so let’s talk about options 2 and 3. Both posit that Luke and Antonia are really together. Or at least casually dating. It is certainly possible that Luke simply wanted or needed a date to this event and Antonia is a casual date. Certainly, their body language is not particularly close or affectionate in most of the photos or videos. And A clearly does not calm Luke’s anxiety and event nerves like Nic always could and did. And they didn’t seem to hold hands naturally, nor did their arms around each other seem particularly close or natural in most of the photos and videos we saw. And yet, they did walk and pose arm-in-arm as a couple. No arguments there.

It has been widely noted that the Daily Mail story featuring Luke attending this event with his “girlfriend Antonia” was published mere minutes after the first event photos were published. And the story talked way more about A and her vague resume/background than about Luke. For all the world, it sure looks like this appearance was designed to give Ant a PR boost with a story pre-planted and ready to roll. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t together.

There is one video recorded inside that shows them in a different light. They seem to be enjoying themselves together, laughing, smiling, and talking close. However, there was loud music, it seems, so all talking needed to be close. We saw this when Luke talked to David Beckham as well. David was leaning in and Luke was talking directly in his ear, so clearly, volume was an issue. But he did have his hand on her back and she even copped a feel of his celebrated lukey newts butt. Yes, that video looked very couply indeed. Again, no arguments.

Did I like it? Of course not. Obviously, I hated it. I loathed it even. Do I wish the whole evening would crawl away and sink itself into the bottom of the ocean in lieu of our very leaky ship? Yes. But that video still exists, as does the other photographic and videographic evidence.  So, it’s irrefutable, right?

Almost. There is one thing that rankles a bit in that video. And indeed, about all the Luke & A stuff that came out so quickly. Literally, it all dropped faster than even the Beckham stuff, and Beckham was the host of this event. Why did it all hit so fast? Okay, sure, we already established it was at least partly planned PR for A. But why was that video so exclusively focused on the two of them specifically? What was the videographer doing shooting them from behind, ostensibly “in secret and candid,” for so long? Why so much footage (edited from pieces, therefore taken over time) of the two of them specifically, including that saucy, little butt grab?

If indeed this evening were intended to launch A with the explicit intentions of 1) blowing up the ship and 2) promoting A as the official girlfriend, then it’s not hard to imagine Luke’s PR handler/escort for the evening whispering a little encouragement in his ear. Something like, “It’s not really playing yet, you need to give it more. You two need to get cozy, amp it up, and we’ll get it on video.” Of course, it’s also entirely possible that this “canoodling inside” video was always planned as the final blow to seal the deal after the red carpet content hit.

And, to be fair, it’s also possible that they simply relaxed once they got inside and started having fun. If theirs is a real relationship, whether long-term, serious or a casual dating one, then that would make sense. But why were they so tense on the red carpet to begin with if they’re so close? Why did they look so uncomfortable? Either way, it seems someone had a very clear intention to capture “proof” of the relationship.

Now let’s shift gears and talk about Nicola briefly. Let’s start with this. Nicola is a terrific, gifted, hard-working actor. She deserves all the accolades. She’s worked hard to achieve the success she’s now enjoying and she sure as hell deserves her SAG Award nomination for her beautiful, delicate performance that was by turns moving, heartbreaking, heartwarming, and hilarious. She’s the real deal. And she’s unbelievably, ridiculously beautiful. To my eyes, many times more beautiful and sexier than the other woman who appears in this saga, for what it’s worth. That’s perhaps beside the point, but I wanted to throw it in anyway because what can I say? I’m feeling a little petty and in the mood to spit truths.

She’s also a woman with a right to privacy. And a woman with a career to maintain and grow. And an award nominee who’s campaigning for a win, knowing even if she doesn’t win, the nomination will open doors for her as long as she is taken seriously. And maybe, just maybe, a woman with big life changes coming up fast. I fully support her in doing what she needs to take care of herself and those she loves. And knowing what I know, having seen what I’ve seen, believing what I believe about her, I still believe she would absolutely do what she needs to do in this critical moment.

So, I’m just going to be honest and say I simply don’t know what to think at this point. I still believe number 1 above makes the most sense, both logically and emotionally. But… but… sigh.

There’s also another very real possibility, which is that Lukola has indeed been just as real as we all believe – and now, sadly, it’s over. I actually believe this could be a very real possibility, though this possibility breaks my heart most of all. But I think it’s distinctly possible that they tried and it just didn’t work out for any of the millions of reasons couples don’t make it all the time. Plus, as I’ve written about before, all the reasons they have extra challenges because of their lives and jobs. So maybe the shipping was sweet to them while the relationship lasted, but is painful now that it’s over.

I wish this didn’t feel so valid as a possibility, but it does. And this, too, would make sense of just about everything, unlike the alternate versions where the adjacents (or at least one of them) have been real partners all along. But who knows? As ever, none of us (and none of the Jakolas) knows them, so none of us will ever know anything for sure. Unless they one day decide to come clean.

I’m a big fan of the show Castle. Castle and Beckett, or “Caskett,” is one of a small handful of fictional couples that I have shipped with devotion. I LOVED Caskett and could not wait until they finally got together. The delicious tension, the longing, the near misses, the banter, the micro expressions that broke your heart. They were perfect together. Unfortunately, in reality, they grew to hate each other by the end, but onscreen, they were fire. I will never not love Caskett.

Lukola is my one and only real-world ship, and I will never not love them. Unless they really blow it with too much BTS fuckery. I feel as if they are continually jerking me around and playing games, and I’ve been A-OK with that as long as I knew where it was headed. I was willing to ride the waves of the choppy seas because I knew where the ship was sailing and I loved the destination. I didn’t begrudge them hiding behind PR fakery (or fuckery) because I had faith it was in the best interest of their careers, privacy, and more recently (once I settled into my personal opinion regarding the delicate matter), their family.

That may yet be the case. And if it is, I am 100% there for it.

But if it’s not, if Antonia ends up being a real relationship, that’s going to be very, very hard for me to accept. I’ll do my best to stay the course for Luke as an actor, but the side I see of him as someone dating her is not the same good guy he sold us on the tour. Not the same sweet Colin-alike that the cast has told us he is. Not the same perfect man Nic has told us he is. Because the choice to be with her – based on what I know of her (as well as her youth) — reflects poorly on him, in my opinion. I’m not sure about his “treatment” of her because there’s so much we don’t see and a lot of assumptions are made on that front. But simply based on who she has shown herself to be through her posts and the jobs she’s taken, I can’t respect the choice. I would accept him with many people who aren’t Nicola, but not her.

And my feelings about Nicola would also be dented because she’s posted so many of the crumbs that have (intentionally) kept me hanging on. And if, by some strange twist, she is dating Jake, well… I have a higher opinion of Jake than Antonia. I have no real issue with Jake. From what little I’ve seen of him speaking, he seems like a good kid, earnest about his work, maybe even sweet. But like Antonia, he’s so young. Setting aside aside all the other reasons I don’t believe they’re dating, he’s still 13-14 years younger than her, and just starting out while she’s sailing the heights. I have to be honest and say that the age difference and the power differential do make me uncomfortable.

Her relationships are still not my business. Nor are Luke’s. But as a consumer of media, I do get to have feelings about the people I stan and where I choose to devote my energies. As I said, Lukola has been my one and only ship. I’ve loved them individually as well, but if I’ve been played for a prolonged time, if they’ve been stringing me along with a fake ship, how can that not sour me on them as individuals?

So, yes, if these particular, adjacent relationships are real, my respect for each of them will take a hit. But they can date other people. I’ll get over it. I’ll be disappointed. I’ll think they’ve missed out because they clearly have something truly unique and special, maybe more unique than either of them realizes yet. I still believe they’ve gotten together at some point, but if they’ve now moved on, I’ll sigh and move on as well. And hope that one day, they find their way back to each other where they belong. That’s what endgame means, after all.

However, I will say again that I am not yet entirely convinced that the adjacents are anything more than I’ve long thought they were, decoys and distractions. Or that these latest hits to the ship (the mom comment, Nicola’s interview, and the “hard launch”) are anything more than ramped up efforts to camouflage the truth at a crucial time.

But the one thing that is crystal clear is that they want us to back the fuck off. Whether it’s out of a time-sensitive need for greater professional separation for career reasons (awards consideration chief among them) and greater privacy for family reasons… or because it’s actually true that they are not together at this time… either way, they’ve clearly decided to shut down the shipping this past week.

And this brings me back to Castle. If you know Castle, then you know there was a long-running throughline story about who murdered Kate’s (aka Beckett’s) mother. For years, Kate was obsessed with finding who was responsible and what happened, and more than once, that fierce dedication led her to go too far on the job. She’d stay on cases when she had a clear conflict, she’d hide things from her superiors, she’d go rushing into danger in a ruthless pursuit of the truth. Needless to say, this behavior eventually led to a suspension even though she was the best detective in the precinct. But instead of accepting the suspension, Kate tossed down her badge and quit, because OBVIOUSLY, she was going to go right on investigating privately.

So, am I going to pull a Kate Beckett and charge forward, despite every warning, to investigate every lead until I get the truth? No matter what it costs to me or those I love (namely, Lukola)? Or will I sadly accept my suspension, hang my head, and take some time at home to catch up on my Netflix until the clock runs out? Hmm… Maybe, a little of both?

Here’s what I’m going to do. Keep watching. Keep collecting information, analyzing, and seeing how I think the picture most clearly takes shape. And I will keep sharing my thoughts with all of you.

But since they want us to back off, I will slow roll those observations. For my part (NPC that I am), I will politely take a step back and give them the time that I believe they need for certain very specific reasons. If they need folks like me to back off, then I will. At least for now. And I’ll see what the next couple of months bring.

At some point down the line, depending on how things shake out, I may feel comfortable going full force again with my thoughts and opinions. But right now, it’s my belief that there are things important enough that I’m willing to take a step back to support them, because my intention has only ever been to share my thoughts and bolster the spirits of my fellow shippers. Never to harm Lukola.

In the meantime, I won’t disappear entirely. I may blog a little less, and maybe shift a bit to lovely Polin. Or maybe I’ll end up blogging more with short, fun stuff in lieu of the analysis. Who knows? Got to keep busy somehow, at least unless or until I decide to step off the ship entirely.

Actually, now that I think about it, it may be time to rewatch Castle. At least I know Caskett will never let me down.

[athetos]

Some thoughts from severance s2e3, and the season in general:

I 100% assumed the reason the goat people were asking to see their bellies was to see if they had belly buttons. Since the prevailing theory is that the goats are for cloning purposes, i figured they wanted to make sure they weren’t clones (clones not having belly buttons because they weren’t birthed/have need for an umbilical cord). If we take the pouches line at face value, I’d guess that they were told a rumor that MDR had pouches, to sow division and fear between the departments (like the fake uprising told to MDR about O&D, and vice versa).

The Export Floor. The fact that O&D used to deliver things there themselves, but then a courier was used. My theory is that someone saw something there they shouldn’t have. I don’t know how o!Irving knows about it, but I’m not here to discuss that right now. What I want to talk about is the name. The obvious one is exporting goods (or even ideas) to other countries, and this could simply mean it’s where stuff made by O&D gets sent up to the ‘outtie’ world. But there’s another possibility - export as in transferring data to another software/format. I think it’s this meaning that is critical, and has big implications for Gemma/Ms. Casey. They could be transferring the data MDR has refined to her chip, or in some way or another, working on “Cold Harbor.”

I am very firmly in the ‘that’s Helena’ camp now. I don’t think this is in character for Helly, as the extremely awkward conversation in the hall with Mark as well as telling Irving they ‘got him’ sealed it for me. I’m fairly certain that management knows it’s Helena; after all, they don’t activate her chip, although I won’t rule out she paid someone off/threatened them to do it. That said, I like to believe she compromised with the board to go down as herself, instead of as Helly. This would also mean that she can encourage Mark to go places that Lumon specifically wants him to see, instead of ones that are much more confidential. However, I think she’ll end up siding with the innies by the end, simply because the connections she will forge with them will be the only genuine and loving relationships in her life.

I didn’t mention this before, but i’m pretty sure Irving knows that Helena/Helly is lying, because he was the only innie who spent enough time outside to know that it was winter and she couldn’t have been gardening. He distrusts her, that’s why he only told Dylan about Burt.

Upon immediately seeing Dylan’s wife I assumed she was a hired actress. However it genuinely appears to be her (granted, I’m faceblind, but the voice sounded the same when she was with his outtie later in the episode). Lumon clearly thinks that this perk will keep i!Dylan in line, but I think it might backfire spectacularly, or at least cause significant drama - his wife is going to fall in love with his innie. Think about it, if their marriage is going through a rough patch, and she gets to spend time with a version of her husband who lacks all of the assumptions/grudges he has against her - basically starting all over… yeah, it’s gonna get strange. The way she talked about it to o!Dylan was like she was hiding it from him, almost like it’s the beginning of a potential affair…

(I also am still of the mind that either she or one of their children is terminally ill in some way, hence the benefits/insurance that Dylan is always looking after. He also complained a few times about having sore arms and jokes he works out. I feel this might be related somehow? But not sure…)

I stand by my theory that the board is actually the motherboard and is Kier’s (and his successors?) consciousness, or something of that ilk. The board was referred to as “it” in this episode (also “they”, but I believe that was meant as in plural, including Natalie). So I think we actually don’t have any proof that it’s multiple people or even people period. It will be like the export double meaning I mentioned earlier. Again, the board is hot on Mark staying and working because it wants him to finish Cold Harbor so it can begin the revival of Kier’s family (the rotation could potentially mean their minds being uploaded. Or something of that nature.)

No big theories or details to chew on here, but things that got big reactions from me: the Black Kier portraits I was expecting but still not prepared for. I desperately want to see Natalie’s portraits that she received; were they all biracial, all women, or both? The idea of genderbent biracial Kier family is killing me. This is like Hamilton (I think). Cobel definitely was going to die if she went into the building, she made the right call, I was terrified that her car might explode as she left. Phew. Next episode is going to be a roller coaster, I can tell. Shocked that he’s starting reintegration so soon but I’m here for it. Worried that Devon is going to get murdered. And I’m waiting for Cobel to get hunted down by Mark or for her to willingly seek him out as she realizes this is her only chance left to… do whatever the fuck it is she wants to do.

[garez19]

isekai’d! yandere x reader

I think we’ve talked about isekai’d reader already… but what do you think about a yandere who just got isekaid into a silly little world?

notes: mention of an injury (not descibed), no pronouns used for the reader, no use of y/n

when he finds himself in a completely different place, he mutters a curse word as he tries to get up.

huh?

huh?

and when he finally realizes this is the bedroom he has seen in that one webtoon, he runs to the bathroom. he takes a look in the mirror and he curses under his breath again as he sees the image of the main character. he touches his blond hair, and he looks himself with pure confusion.

“I can’t believe I just turned blonde,” he sighs. “man, fuck my life.”

but good thing he is the main character, right? well, there was no other character who were as charismatic as him apart from the protagonist, right? moreover, he quite likes the main character too, and relates to him on a deeper as the story processes. they have similar personalities and a similar way of approaching the situations. he rarely enjoys webtoons but well, good thing he found a cool one, no? however, when he figures out there are more to be upset over being blonde, he curses again. because hell, this was not a romance story.

this was a fantasy. a very descriptive and terrifying one too.

yet, he is at an advantage, he repeats, because he has read it multiple times, and very much knows about the ending.

he knows what to do, he knows who he should team up with, he knows who to stay away from, and he most certainly knows how he needs to handle anything that’ll ever happen.

he does handle it well. and he knows the ending will be priceless. he is sure it’s going to be alright. and he knows you too, the side-character with little to no role, but quite loved by the readers, he recalls. you help him out once or twice, and have your iconic moments too.

well, a shame you were going to die, huh? because you truly feel real, you make him feel like he’s not completely alone in this world. he finds you creepy in the sense that he is reminded the real world by you. he finds you relatable. and he finds your creepiness comforting in its own way, coming from the familiarity.

so he keeps you close. he doesn’t want to be all alone in a completely different world. he doesn’t want to face all this all by himself with all these puppets around them.

he asks you to join his adventures. and you accept it. you two become as close as you can, and he knows the chapter that you die in is soon to come.

and he most certainly isn’t ready.

so when you come along with him to do your duty respectfully, knowing you were going to pass away right there, he calls out your name.

“you’re not coming.” he says. you look up at him with an obvious confusion.

“why not?” you ask.

“because you aren’t needed. you just stay here.” he adds. and you frown, still confused. you definitely are needed there. everyone is needed there. and you are going to go. another thing that made you liked by the audience, brave and willing to take action.

“well, you aren’t coming, end of discussion. I can just lock you up if you want to keep talking.” he says. and although you think he just wanted to half-joke and assert some kind of dominance, he is definitely serious about it.

and you don’t need to know.

or you do. because fuck, you leave him little to no thing to do when you don’t listen and follow him around. there’s a different expression on his face, one that you hadn’t seen until now. it’s almost like he’s panicked, and you can’t understand why he panics when he sees you—considering there are way more scary things around the area.

he calls out to his best friend, and the horrifying creature they fight with seems wrathful. he needs to get you out of here. he needs to do it quickly.

“cairos will escort you, and we will talk about it once i come back, okay?” you’ve never seen him so upset, and you’re not sure why he acts so crazy about the whole situation. you look at cairos, and he seem shocked too, yet he accepts quickly and takes the lead. you’re sure if you’re supposed to do anything but obey now. and you follow him to the place.

“you’re fucked up, I must say,” cairos jokes.

“what did I even do anyway?” you huff. and to be fair, he doesn’t understand either, but there’s no way he’d get so mad if there wasn’t a reason, right?

“well, uh, beats me, but you shouldn’t do that again, you know.” he adds. and the rest of the path is quiet, with this uneasiness around you.

this was your last duty. one last one and you were going to be done and go back to your own life. at least according to what the wizard has told you anyway. and he has just messed it all up.

fuck

so what are you supposed to do know? wait for the beasts to hunt you down so you can go back? cairos tells you he needs to go back when you arrive, and that both he and you will be in big trouble if you decide to do that again.

so you wait quietly, and think of a new solution as you do so.

***

“luka’s injured, fuck,” cairos curses. and as you take him to his bed and bandage him up, you can’t help but think that none of these would happen if you were there. if things had gone as planned, maybe you’d have even waken up and drink a cup of tea in your room as you re-read the whole story once again.

“I mean, it takes two to tango,” you mock. cairos frowns.

“shut up.”

cairos has no serious injuries, but you tell him that he also needs to go and take a rest instead of waiting for him to wake up. although he tries to protest, the tiredness takes over his body, and he leaves as he keeps repeating to keep him updated.

and then you hear him shouting your name. you panic as you think he needs something, or is in pain.

“you okay?” you ask. he seems relaxed for a second.

“I really should have locked you up, right?” he smiles. after seeing him in such anger, you don’t know if you should be laughing at his “jokes”.

“it’s not my fault you can’t decide whether someone is needed or not.” you sneer.

“you are very much needed, just not there.” he says. you can see how tired he is, and you can’t help but cringe whenever you see his bandaged wound.

“I think you should rest now,” you say, “we can talk it out when you’re better.”

he nods. “but you’ll stay here, right?” he asks. “I mean, in case something happens. I have lost so much blood, you see.” he adds quickly. like he’s a silly kid ashamed of thunders and wants to sleep with his parents.

“of course.” you smiled.

***

luka truly has been enjoying the past week. the story is not supposed to go this way because well, you should be dead by now, but the author should’ve written that part better, no?

but he likes the fact that you’re always around to take care of him, as he makes it obvious you are the reason he’s got hurt when cairos had to leave him for more than half an hour.

and you truly feel guilty, not because of going there, but because of coming back. now the main character is badly injured, and you are still alive. you are still not in your own world. so you do whatever he needs, and you even treat him so nicely that he honestly considers getting injured more often.

yet, when he is finally all recovered, and the next chapters are even more dangerous for you, for him, for everyone; he decides he doesn’t give a damn about completing the story correctly, nor does he care about going back.

you can’t leave. you physically can’t.

and he’ll make sure of it.

[atangledfate]

Jewel Watched the others closely to gauge there reactions as she knew Lanolin had effectively been in command thus far. She didn't know what more she could add. but, she just had to get everyone motivated and on point. Her first major priority was to get Surge in a room alone so she could could make a confession recording. This would be important as GUN wouldn't be able to manipulate it how they pleased. It would be vital in the future if they ever expected to get her story in to the public eye.

" Miss Surge i understand you probably have alot on your mind right now. But i also know you want to keep Kitsunami safe... we need your full confession on tap for that. Plus... you two likely have alot to discuss..."

She placed the recorder down in front of Surge and Kitsunami and motioned to a room off to one side.

" You can have all the privacy you like... when you both are ready, just record what you remember, your feelings... emotions... your story. Alot people don't know about either of you... and i want this to be your chance to speak your mind--- To tell the world your side of things. You ... might not get another chance... "

Jewel turned around to Belle fluttering over to her so she could address her directly. She thought about it but, that was highly invasive in her eyes. Belle had been a valued member of her organization and, she had PLENTY of evidence of her good nature and desire to do right by everyone!

" No Belle that would be like... a Truth Serum to us. Even worse then that in reality... we have lots of people who can vouch for you... and not just sonic and tails either. Good people you worked with every day...plenty of hard working individuals who will stand beside you. I have no intention of handing you over... come what may i will personally use all my political sway to push back on any attempt to take you "

Tails shifted his head at Blaze as this was new information, and it wasn't good information. If Starline had some method of survival, it could be similar to what Surge and Kit had, or something else. A robotic double? Eggman used that trick lots. The bigger fear was that there were still more like Surge and Kitsunami out there. Other projects yet uncovered.

" Its always been a possibility... Guys like Starline always have a backup plan. I'm more worried what he'd do with your genetic data if he got ahold of it...it could explain some of Surge's abilities but... just as likely he used it for who knows what else. "

He sighed and his eyes shifted to Surge and Kit who he doubted would take this information well. That the man who tortured and cut them up was alive or worse made another like them.

" Either way... its probably best we worry about that after this crisis is over... no point dwelling on it now..."

The sheep sighed and stepped forward gripping the railing as she looked down at Miles and the others. It would be important to ask now especially with Surge in the room. Especially with how important this would be to her specifically.

" Blaze believes it might be prudent to inform GUN of this... or even use it as a bargaining chip or a sign of good faith. I'm not so sure about that... so we need to get everyone's feelings on this...should we involve GUN? or take care of this possibility on our own..."

Her eyes landed on Surge as she wondered how this information was going to effect her especially.

" Since its a very personal topic for you two.. i thought it important to ask now... before we go any further... "

"I for one personally thing messing with time isn't a great idea, though it does seem Silver always has an idea of what to do somehow." Belle hadn't actually met Silver so was going off mostly stories, though it from what she's heard he always came to the past knowing a specific problem to fix. This had made the tinkerer wonder what the hedgehog was here to fix this time, though hoped it wasn't because of something G.U.N will do.

"Don't feel like it," Surge said while keeping her focus on Drippy. Wasn't going to be easy talking down the fennec to letting them take her, though she can pull it off. That said, the tenrec found it hard to ignore the fact he was fidgeting so just put a hand on top of his head. It seemed to calm him down, though he clearly had his thinking face on. Of course he wasn't fully believing that she'd turn herself in.

===========================================================

"I wouldn't be too sure. After all, there could still be a difference of opinions when we bring this news up. Though I suppose having Jewel's input is a wise choice." Blaze wasn't sure how easy of a decision this would actually be given everyone in the room, though supposed there was only one way to find out. Hopefully things don't get out of hand.

===========================================================

"My story is I fucked up the city and tried to ice Sonic and Tails on my own. That's the truth, and I intend to stick with it." Surge didn't see a point in saying what everyone already knew. "And if I'm being honest, I sorta blacked out at one point." The tenrec remembered who she was fighting thanks to Drippy explain it, though at one point everything was a blur. Maybe because that device was putting her brain on overdrive.

"I also have thought of an idea for dispelling G.U.N's fears about my programming. Perhaps we could offer one of their tech specialist to check my code and programming, supervised of course. I may not be fully comfortable with the idea, though if they want to push the subject it would be a smart way." Belle knew that was the main reason for targeting her, though hopefully seeing that her program rejects the Eggnet might put them at ease.

"There is another matter to talk about, though it's a bit of a delicate matter," Blaze said, taking a moment to make sure she knew how she wanted to say this. "So, I myself was attacked by this Starline fellow. I believe it was before what he did to Surge and Kitsunami. However, I thought I had ended him. Seems I was mistaken, so with that said he could've survived his battle with Eggman."

[fangbanger3000]

a last note on the ai-fic bullshit

a couple days ago, a person i had never spoken to before shared my call-out post on x with the earnest intention of spreading awareness of the issue. she was attacked and harrassed so harshly by the same group of people who have been dragging my friends and i through the mud that she ended up having to deactivate.

this group of perpetrators then did their very best to turn this whole conversation on its head by accusing the poster of being anti-solavellan, of sharing the post with malicious intentions of dividing the fandom and tearing down amateur writers, and grouping her and i/my friends as antis and what not.

my thoughts on that development aren't any that i can express with any diplomacy or maturity whatsoever, but @drakonmo herself did a wonderful job at gracefully carving out the very important conversation we, as fans, need to have within our communities. whether you observed or participated in the conversation surrounding the silence and the song and the following shitstorm, i strongly urge you to read her post (here) (on x).

tldr/to those who might be in a rush, let me pull out some highlights:

by deleting the evidence and refusing to acknowledge the public claims were ever made, these people who despise me and wanted to foment discourse could succeed, armed with the trust and respect of loyal followers.

suddenly, the entire wall of text of explanations, of signs, of concerns were reduced to nothing but one portion of the whole. people began to attack OP and me and write threads, posts, etc, saying we were insulting all creators everywhere and we were - singlehandedly - the reason people didn't share their artwork.

clearly, these people argued, this insult and injury to all writers everywhere was a sign of these posts being a hate campaign. suddenly people could completely ignore the fact that the OP is a HUGE shipper, and i have been the world's most vocal proponent of shipping the particular character with anyone and/ or everyone.

i saw some people ask questions - what's happening, what's the drama, what's the situation? and they believed blindly the first things said to them without even trying to seek the truth or sources for themselves - and i truly mean this was an issue on both sides, for both people who ultimately agreed with me and people who did not.

the people that deliberately misrepresented what was being said, who nitpicked so that they could justify choosing "us versus them" - i ask that you consider, if you can and you would like to, to internalize and reflect how you may be susceptible to situations like this happening OFFLINE.

if ONLINE FANDOM misinformation can rouse such a level of discourse, hatred, fear, and anger over a fanfiction or ship ...what are the implications for REAL LIFE?

are you possibly reading a headline and believing it without reading the full article?

are your political and personal opinions swayed heavily by your peers, rather than being shaped by information and political education?

are you well informed and checking for bias from your chosen news sources?

do you exist in an echo chamber that has actively harmed your ability to understand other perspectives and worsened your capacity for allyship?

we best fight FASCISM when we recognize how we approach the people and issues around us, no matter how small. supporting artistic integrity in your fandom is a low rung on the ladder, but your approach to a sense of community and how news, conflict, and opinions form and spread IS vital.

thank you for reading, and thank you to those who have stuck by me (and by mo) despite the backlash it might have caused you. this has been insane and i look forward to never discussing that fucking fic again, but that doesn't mean we get to turn our heads to how this all turned to shit in the first place.

as a self-proclaimed safe space often characterised by escapism, we owe it to one another to make sure this community is as safe as can be and remains one where we care for one another despite which fictional characters we think should kiss.

[kkuzushi]

જ Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby. . .ᐟ

˚𖦹 ‘ Chapter 24: Can’t believe I’m stuck with you. ִ ࣪𖤐

— PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT

After what felt like an eternity (but was actually just a week), you finally recovered from your so-called “deathly illness” that Scaramouche had been dramatically exaggerating. While you would’ve loved to stay in bed and let the world handle itself, your overthinking tendencies had other plans.

Not that you’d ever admit it, but Scaramouche’s presence helped. A little.

Now that you were back to your usual self—equal parts lazy and determined to survive until Friday—you decided to check in with your professor about the big project you’d supposedly been discussing with your “partner” all week.

The moment your first period ended, you made your way to your professor’s desk, determined to sort things out before Scaramouche inevitably found a way to make it worse.

“Professor,” you called out as you approached their desk, shifting your bag higher up your shoulder. “I wanted to ask about the big project.”

Your professor glanced up, giving you a nod to continue.

“I was told this was originally supposed to be an individual project,” you began, leveling your professor with a practiced, innocent expression. “But my so-called partner convinced you to pair us up since I was sick.”

Your professor hummed, unfazed.

“So, I was thinking,” you continued, carefully picking your words, “wouldn’t it be fair to just revert it back to individual work? I mean, it’d be unfair if the two of us had an advantage while everyone else had to do it alone.”

“I appreciate your concern for fairness,” your professor said with a polite smile that immediately told you this wasn’t going to go your way, “but I actually decided to make the project a paired assignment for everyone. It’s final.”

You blinked. “Wait. You mean–”

“Yes, every student now has a partner,” your professor confirmed. “No changes.”

You internally groaned. Just great. Not only did Scaramouche manipulate the situation, but he also managed to change the entire course structure. You’d never hear the end of this.

As you step out of the classroom, your bag suddenly jerks backward, nearly yanking you off your feet.

You whip around, ready to cuss someone out—only to be met with the smug face of Scaramouche, his hand still gripping your strap.

“What were you talking about with the professor?” he asks, his tone lazy, like he wasn’t currently holding you hostage by the backpack.

You blink at him. “Were you just standing here, waiting for me?”

“Maybe,” he hums, tilting his head. “Maybe I just enjoy your company that much.”

You deadpan. “Be honest.”

“Fine,” he sighs dramatically, releasing your bag but not stepping away. “I had a feeling you’d do something annoying.”

“And by ‘annoying,’ you mean trying to get the professor to let me work alone?”

“Exactly.” He crosses his arms, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “Tough luck. You’re stuck with me.”

You groan, rubbing your temples. “It’s unfair! Everyone else originally had solo projects, but because of you, we’re the only ones paired up—”

“Correction: we were the first ones paired up. The professor just realized what an excellent idea that was and made it the standard.”

You glare at him. “You’re taking way too much credit for this.”

“I’m just saying,” he shrugs, a teasing smirk tugging at his lips, “maybe fate wanted us to be partners.”

You squint at him. “That was so corny.”

Scaramouche just grins, completely unbothered. Instead of replying, he starts walking beside you like it’s the most natural thing in the world. You sigh, deciding to let him since you are stuck with him for this project. Might as well get it over with.

“So, about the interviews,” you start, adjusting the strap of your bag. “We need at least three sources, right?”

Scaramouche glances at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Or–we can split the interviews—do them separately or together. That way, we’ll cover more ground faster.”

You nodded, “Sounds efficient.”

Scaramouche nods confidently. “What can I say? I don’t like wasting time.”

You glance at him, raising an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you had time on your hands.”

He falters for a split second, the confident smile on his face wavering, before he quickly recovers. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You shrug, the words slipping out before you can stop them. “You know. All those times you’d leave me hanging and ‘get busy’ with your ‘important things.’”

He narrows his eyes at you, but there’s a small hint of something vulnerable hidden beneath his usual cocky exterior. “That’s..”

“I get it,” you mutter, biting back a chuckle. “You didn’t like wasting time—unless it was with me.”

Scaramouche’s eyes flash with that familiar sharpness, and in a quick, almost reflexive move, he flicks his tongue before spinning around to face you fully. His hand shoots out and pinches your cheek with a surprising amount of force. “Cut that out, YN,” he orders, his voice a little more strained than he probably intended.

You let out a soft laugh, pushing him off lightly. “I’m kidding. It doesn’t bother me anymore.”

But Scaramouche isn’t fooled. His gaze sharpens, watching you for a moment as you turn to walk away.

He takes a quick step forward, his fingers brushing against your wrist before you can fully pull away. “Maybe it’s a little too late.. but I’m here now.”

Time almost seemed to stop at that moment, but you didn’t want to get carried away. “That’s so cheesy,” you laughed awkwardly, “Let’s just focus on the interview.”

— ꒰꒰﹒TAGLIST : @raineyun @hayamie @sketcheeee @wraithisd3adinside @heusalettle @liuaneee @yevurin @mywillt0live @kaikaidenkai @alatusorrow @shrimplyasleep @minstarrs @reivelmin @scaraenthusiast1 @girlbesofr2814 @yawn-zi @eternallykira-143 @theintruder1000 @bittersweetmiko @kangyeonie @qt-yhuji @midnightfiction143 @cinnamonroll-lover @iloveescara @meowmewow7

�� ꒰꒰﹒OPEN. [ 25/50 ]

© kkuzushi | Please do not translate, repost, or plagiarize my work. This AU is posted in Tumblr only unless stated otherwise by yours truly.

[ngage2003]

Hi I love your mh character analysis posts they are so GOOD, would you be able to do more about Tim pretty please :]

First of all, Thank you :-)! Second of all, yeah I have some things I can say about Tim, though a bit funnily, they are a bit discoordinated compared to some of my other analyses.

After all, out of all the characters in Marble Hornets, Tim Wright is the one we know most about, as his life is laid out for us pretty definitely over the course of the series. Because of this, my focus tends to be on his metaphorical other half, Masky, but I do have some things to say about the two of them and their upbringing, and a few unanswered questions which I will try to satisfactorily put my pen to.

⟦content warning: discussions of child abuse/dangerous households, suicide, hospitals, and wildly off the rails theorycrafting⟧

Alright, so why is Tim a system? This is a question some of you may raise your eyebrow at if you're unfamiliar with DID but stick with me here. We know that Tim only started being taken by the Operator and having seizures in 1995, when he was a child, but over seven years old. (I'll get into how we know this later.) We as a society honestly don't know a lot about Dissociative Identity Disorder and its sisters but one thing we do know is it is caused by extensive stress/trauma inducing dissociation in a extremely young childhood, usually under the age of seven if not even younger, where the mind dissociating from trauma to protect itself causes it to fail to coalesce/develop properly into one identity. That is the main theory behind how DID forms, and given that Tim is only seeming to be extensively exposed to the Operator at seven, but would that be enough for Tim to develop DID? Alex didn't develop it, despite also being hinted at having been exposed to it at the same age.

Note: In enttry #37, we see a home video of Alex at 6 years old in 1991, with heavy Operator distortion implying that it has somehow corrupted this tape and/or was here. This combined with the fact Alex repeatedly goes to a playground to confront/find the Operator in my opinion more or less guarantees that he saw it as a young child. This makes sense especially considering the original "Something Awful" forum pictures in my opinion. Alex's backstory with the Operator basically directly references them, which would make sense since they literally inspired the series.

Granted, you could just hand wave this or go "ok but who cares, they probably weren't even trying to make a character with DID," and yeah, you're right, but I want to actually look at Tim's character and explore his childhood a bit to try to understand it, especially in relation to this fact.

Our main fount of information in relation to Tim's childhood is Entry 66 and Entry 60.5. I am going to start with the latter, for a few very specific reasons.

See, in Entry 60.5, we actually get to see 5 of Tim's medical documents, not just one. This is a fact that is seemingly forgotten a lot by the fandom, and I wanted to get into it for my speculation.

The first document we see though is a Pediatric Admissions Profile from December 12th 1995, followed up by a Pediatric Admissions Assessment of the same year at 11:45 A.M. I do not believe these records are from his institutionalization, but rather a hospital visit that directly proceeded it, one that was probably caused by Tim having a seizure at home and needing to go to the hospital, but lets take this one step at a time.

These Admissions forms explain that Tim's conditions and symptoms at his time of admittance, ones we know well as products of Operator exposure. They also give us a precious piece of information that never comes up again though.

Tim's mom's name.

Janet Wright answers all the questions on the Pediatric Admissions Profile, and it is through her answers that we learn several facts, like that Tim has completed 2nd grade at the time of these papers, (meaning he is probably in 3rd,) and that he is on an anti-convulsant, along with the fact he has a history of falls, apparently needs/has glasses, has emotional barriers to learning, that someone has smoked in the house in the past year, and that Tim lives at home alone with her.

This is something reaffirmed on the PA Assessment, which was probably something that either a nurse or his Psychiatrist filled out by asking Tim himself questions.

Under Category 5., Assistance required for Care, there is a part where it says that for emotional support, "Child relys on: Mother (✓) Father ( ) Sibling ( )". Additionally, it also says asks, "who else besides parents might be staying with child?" Which is answered with a Not Applicable, along with the question, "has your family had any recent changes in your life? (moved, divorce, birth, death, new job, etc.)" Which is also answered with a no.

It continues, and we learn from it that Tim has poor orientation to time along with his chronic headaches, as well as signs and symptoms of depression, as well as that he struggles to engage with peers his age and doesn't have/begin hobbies.

Most importantly though, it is mentioned that his condition isn't affected by his household, which could refer to simply his seizures, but I think is important to mention given his depressive symptoms. At least in this moment, it doesn't seem like to the person doing the assessment that Tim is depressed due to his mom.

(Though that can be hard to pick up on but regardless.)

We also learn that he experiences high risk on a Fall Assessment Scale, as he is checked off as "confused, disoriented, hallucinating, combative," and having a history of "syncope, seizures,"—which is underlined��"postural hypotension".

I believe he only really started to have seizures this year though, as it is mentioned under "Plan of Care" that he ran away from home two "somethings" ago before being found at Rosswood, which I believe to be weeks or months. (If it was two years, why still mention it here?) I don't think that Tim ran away though, but rather, was taken and teleported by the Operator and Operatortured, an event that left him having chronic seizures. After all, despite Jay being exposed to the Operator for years, we only see him begin to have those only after the Operator snatches him in Entry 72. I think this snatching/possible Operatorture is key in it inducing/beginning to induce seizures.

Moving on though, two of the next three documents are from the same day, with both being from 7/8/02.

The first (Delayed Therapy Communication Form) that we are shown being filled out at 15:10 or 3:10 PM, and the second being an assessment (Suicide/Self-Harm Assessment Tool) that was filled out at 8:45 in the morning, probably by hospital staff in preparation for therapy later in the day. On the latter, Tim was left with a rather high suicide risk score, and a comment of supposedly untrustworthy answers.

There is a document that Jay reads sandwiched between these two though, from 1/10/Year Redacted. It is a Brief Operative Progress Note, about a procedure seemingly in relation to an unmedical wound with a ton of redacted information, and based on placement and the fact "Hoody" purposefully arranged the papers like this, I believe he was trying to imply to Jay that this was a suicide attempt by Tim at the start of 1996, which led to his hospitalization.

-

Wow. Ok. That was a lot. Let's summarize and break down the facts though.

At the end of 1995, Tim Wright is being raised by his single mother, Janet Wright, with it being unclear if his dad was ever in the picture. Tim was probably in 3rd grade at the end of 1995, which puts him at around eight to nine years old. At this point, he seemingly had a history of seizures, but around this time he also started showing symptoms of depression, hallucinations and even supposedly "ran away" from home at one point.

It seems like Hoody, based on how he organized these papers, seems to want us to think that at the start of 1996, Tim had either a suicide attempt, or a violent episode that could've been misconstrued as a suicide attempt.

Note: Personally, I think it was misconstrued. I say this because well, we know how the Operator can warp reality, and in Entry 66 Tim says, "My mom [sent me inpatient] when I was really young, but she never told me exactly why," and that the doctors seemingly gossiped about the fact he had violent episodes and hallucinations which led to him being institutionalized, which he doesn't remember. Of course, maybe Tim was just lying to Jay and leaving stuff out, but based on the rest of this scene and everything else he says, I find that unlikely. I think it is possible that Masky tried to defend himself and Tim from the Operator and got hurt in the process, and due to his lack of verbality and strange/differing behavior from Tim's, it was interpreted as a violent and/or suicidal episode cause by a hallucination. Either way, none of this does align with the fact the wound is "clean," but that could be more about it not being infected and/or recent than a clean cut.

Either way, after this, in conjunction with advice from doctors and the stress of caring for a mentally ill child and hospital visits/bills, Janet Wright admitted Tim into inpatient care.

It is after this point, (based on dialogue from Entry 66,) that we know Tim sort of fell out with his mother, as she "wasn't really around" for him to ask things. I can't say why she distanced herself from him, and honestly that is where my sympathy runs dry for her, but we know based on what Tim doesn't say that he more or less didn't have any family. His mother was probably raising him on her own, and her decision to put him inpatient probably had to do with the fact she just couldn't care for him and genuinely thought it would be better/safer.

Ok. Cool. Unfortunately, still none of this answers the question as to why Tim is a system. Based on all this supplementary evidence though, I do have two kind of routes/ideas I could see as possible/likely which I want to share, so pick your poison.

A】 Janet Wright was neglectful, either by accident or on purpose.

Neglect can cause DID, especially severe emotional neglect causing a disruption in child development, and if Tim's dad was never in the picture, along with the stresses of being a single mom, it could be hard for Ms Wright to meet Tim's needs. Maybe she didn't even want to be a parent, but found out she was pregnant to late, and so decided to "give it a shot."

The real mold in the juice box for this theory though is the fact that Tim's medical records (Pediatric Admission Assessment, Page 2, 6. Abuse/Neglect/Exploitation Screen) answers no to "evidence of neglect by caretakers." Granted however, this is when Tim is in 3rd grade, and it can be hard to always pick up on emotional neglect. Perhaps it could be misconstrued as depressive symptoms for example, and Tim's issues with starting hobbies and connecting with peers could be due to him not being properly socially met/developed growing up, but honestly I am unsure how I fully feel about this theory.

What it comes down to is just that, besides knowing she smokes regularly, we don't know much about Janet Wright, and while she fell out of touch with Tim, that could be for literally any number of reasons. Demonizing her or deifying her both kind of make me grimace. Maybe she blames herself for his condition and her guilt drives her away, and after a while she felt it would be wrong of her to go back after abandoning Tim in the first place. Maybe she just never wanted a kid and took the option to ditch him. The point I am getting at is we just don't know.

Which is what brings me to theory two.

B】 Tim's dad was in some way abusive, causing Janet to leave him to protect Tim but leaving him with trauma.

It would explain why Tim's dad isn't in the picture in a way that feels concrete, and why Tim never tried to reach out to his dad's side along with why he has DID. Maybe too, if Janet was in an abusive relationship, that somehow got in the way of her reaching out to her side of the family, which is why Tim never did either and why she didn't have any help for raising him and dealing with his conditions.

I don't really have much to say on this one either, but it would explain why there isn't direct evidence of neglect along with why his mom isn't blamed for his depressive symptoms by the doctor and why Tim said in his Assessment that he relies on his mom for emotional support. That is because he does, but they were just unfortunately in a situation for a while where he couldn't properly get it.

Sure, she probably isn't perfect, but in this reading she does care for him, and did try to get him a better life.

I think this would especially make sense when you consider the fact that Masky, Tim's protector alter, has a feminine presentation.

Often alters formed in especially early youth will take heavy direct inspiration from their environment, especially parents. Maybe since Tim's mom did protect him some of the time and eventually got him away from his dad, this idea of her and by extension femininity as a whole being this unstoppable, almost deified force of nature stuck with him on a subconscious level. She was fierce and seemed impenetrable, especially to a little kid who idolizes their caregiver in the face of abuse, and I think that influenced why Tim's brain made a protector like Masky that is simultaneously feminine aligned out of the blue and so aligned with defending people/defensive violence.

Because yes, Masky is violent, and often they do threaten/attack Alex with "Hoody," but that could easily be because they remember the fact Alex attacked them in Entry 56/57 along with stuff like the fact "Hoody" most likely told them about how Alex killed him and needs to be taken care of. They know Alex is dangerous, and so a lot of their actions are protective or in an attempt to save other people.

Like, in Entry 35, their motives can be hard to read, yes, but if they just wanted to fight someone they could have easily gone for Jay instead of running past him to get Alex. I actually think they could've easily been waiting here because they knew Alex was following Jay and this was the last place Jay was, and they wanted to stop Alex from getting to him because he could (and literally does) try to kill Jay. Along with this incident, they stop Alex from shooting Jay and Jessica in Entry 52, and seemingly distract him while those two escape and drive away to safety. They also act to protect/save Jessica from the Operator and Alex with Hoody in Entry 76. They also seemingly only stop directly working with Hoody after he hurts Tim, i.e. causing him to have a seizure to trigger them out, which Masky seeming to sever their partnership over.

Listen, there's no answer as to why Masky is feminine, and maybe there doesn't need to be, but based on how DID works and Masky's general behavior, to me it is obvious that they took subconscious inspiration from something, and I think it could be how their mom protected them and Tim.

Note: This is not to say Masky and Tim have a maternal/parental relationship, even if Masky is partially based on their mom in an abstract sense. In my opinion, they have a relationship almost similar to like, how siblings will go through trauma together and be bonded by that fact because they wholly understand what the other person is going through, or how a slightly older child might try to take care of a younger one and be parent-ified but still while not holding the authority and control of a parent, though obviously different because they're a system. I guess my main point though is that they're equals, and Masky loves Tim very much. Masky does have some power over Tim because they cause amnesia when they front during traumatic episodes and accidentally puts him in danger sometimes, but ultimately they have a more push-pull relationship to me, even if Tim isn't aware of it. Because, even if Masky does front sometimes, Tim is usually the one in control almost all of the time. But really that's another post I could make lmao.

Either way, whatever way you think Tim got DID, one thing is clear. His life fucking sucks.

-

If you want my personal belief on what his childhood is like, taken with a bit of salt, I don't think Janet Wright is purely innocent, (she could've very easily been incidentally neglectful given the vagueness of the circumstances,) but I do think that Tim's dad could have been a shithead if only because of how it parallels my Alex headcanons and I like that, along with Masky being based on their mom aesthetically to some extent.

(As a system, I loveee system weirdness.)

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed.

[inellz]

「 ✦ homework ✦ 」

quackity x reader

warnings : none !

tags ~ kissing, fluff, & kind of romantic (??)

It was the kind of homework assignment you dreaded—partnered with someone you didn’t know well, forced to work together on something that, frankly, you couldn’t care less about. When you saw Quackity’s name appear on the list of partners, you groaned. You knew him from mutual friends, and while he was funny and all, he could be… a bit much. He was loud, often sarcastic, and definitely a little too confident for your liking.

He was chaotic, loud, and often distracted by anything shiny or exciting. You, on the other hand, liked things organized and straightforward. But, hey, maybe this would be a good way to push each other’s boundaries, right?

You agreed to meet at his house to work on the assignment, and when you arrived, Quackity greeted you with that signature mischievous grin.

“Well, well, look who actually showed up,” he said, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. “I didn’t think you were brave enough to work with me.”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” you replied flatly, walking past him into the house. “Let’s just get this over with.”

You both settled into his room, however, it didn’t take long for the conversation to shift from academic to argumentative.

The two of you sat down at his desk, books and papers scattered around. You started to discuss the project, but it didn’t take long before Quackity started pulling his usual antics.

“You know, I was thinking we could just—” He interrupted you before you could finish.

“No. That’s a terrible idea,” you said, not even bothering to hide your annoyance. “We need a solid plan, not whatever that is.”

“I really think we should start with the presentation,” Quackity suggested, continuing his cut off sentence from earlier, leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed, an irritating smirk on his face.

“I disagree,” you shot back, brows furrowed with annoyance. “We need solid research before we even think about the presentation part. It’s pointless otherwise!”

“Oh, come on! You’re just being difficult!” He chuckled, defiantly rolling his eyes.

“Me? Difficult? Look who’s talking!” Your cheeks flushed with frustration. The playful banter soon transformed into a heated disagreement, the tension between you both reaching almost palpable levels.

“I’m telling you, we should focus on the presentation first,” Quackity insisted, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms, a playful smirk lighting up his face.

“And I’m saying we need to nail down the research part before anything else! Without the content, the presentation will fall flat,” you retorted, frustration creeping into your voice.

A glimmer of mischief sparked in his eyes. “Wow, someone’s a little bossy today. It’s not like it’s a dictatorship, you know.”

“Excuse me? Just because you think this is a joke doesn’t mean I can’t take it seriously!” You shot back, your cheeks warming with irritation.

His laughter filled the room, but there was something deeper in his gaze, something that hinted at the tension brewing beneath the surface. You noticed how his eyes sparkled with an intense playfulness, making you acutely aware of the distance between you.

Quackity’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “Oh, I’m taking it seriously. You’re the one ruining everything. Lighten up.”

You couldn’t believe how dismissive he was being. “Maybe you should try thinking for once. Just because you talk big game doesn’t mean you actually know what you’re doing.”

“Oh, I know exactly what I’m doing,” he shot back, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “But if you want to keep playing it safe and being boring, be my guest.” he says as he gets closer to you.

You could feel the heat rising in your chest, irritation mixing with something else—something you weren’t willing to admit. “I’m not boring. I just want to get this done without you derailing it.”

“Well, you’re not really my type of person anyway,” he said with a smirk, leaning back in his chair as if he’d won some kind of victory. “You’re so uptight.”

That was it. You couldn’t take another second of his dismissive attitude. You stood up abruptly, your chair scraping the floor loudly. “You’re unbelievable,” you spat, gathering your things into your bag. “I’m done. I’m not wasting any more time on this with you. You clearly don’t care, so I’m leaving.”

You didn’t even wait for a response. You turned, heading straight for the door, your frustration boiling over. You weren’t going to sit here and let him ruin your day, your project, everything. You just wanted to get away from him, even if it was for a little while.

But as you reached for the door, Quackity’s voice stopped you.

“Wait, hold on—” His footsteps were quick behind you, and before you knew it, he had grabbed your wrist, gently but firmly, trying to stop you.

“No,” you snapped, your voice sharp with anger. “Let go. You’ve made it clear you don’t give a damn about this project, or anything I’m saying. So don’t try to act like you care now.”

His grip on your wrist tightened slightly, and you could see the shift in his expression. The usual cocky grin was gone, replaced with something… different. Guilt? Regret? But you weren’t in the mood to care about his feelings. Not when he’d been so dismissive of yours.

“I’m sorry, okay?” he said, his voice softer now. “I didn’t mean to upset you, really. I just… I don’t know, I thought it’d be more fun, y’know?”

You shook your wrist out of his grip, not looking at him. “Well, it’s not fun for me when you keep treating everything like a joke.”

You turned back towards the door, but before you could even open it, Quackity was already in front of you, blocking your path.

“What are you—” You started, but your words were cut off when he reached for your shoulders, pushing you gently but firmly against the wall beside the door.

You stared at him, heart racing, the sudden closeness leaving you breathless. Quackity’s usual cockiness was gone, replaced by a seriousness that you didn’t expect. His face was inches from yours, his breath just as uneven as yours. For a long moment, neither of you said anything.

“I’m sorry,” Quackity said again, his voice quieter now. “I didn’t mean to push you like that. I didn’t think you’d get so mad.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and before you could even process what was happening, he was closer, too close, with that cocky smirk still plastered on his face.

You glared at him, but there was a flicker of something in your chest that you couldn’t quite ignore. “Maybe you should think before you speak,” you muttered, your anger still lingering, but mixing with an unexpected tension.

Quackity’s gaze softened, and he exhaled, clearly trying to collect himself. “I’m not good at this… I’m not good at knowing when to stop. But I don’t want you to leave.” He swallowed, his grip on your shoulders loosening, as if he was afraid of pushing you too far.

You felt the heat between you both intensify, the distance closing as he stayed right there, still watching you, unsure. Something shifted in that moment—the sharp anger you felt turned into something else, something that left you confused and unsure.

You didn’t move. Neither did he.

Quackity, after a long silence, leaned in slowly, testing the waters. His lips brushed against yours in a gentle, tentative kiss. At first, you froze, your anger still lingering, but then it dissolved, just a little. His kiss deepened, his hand reaching up to cup your face, and you found yourself responding, all that tension from before turning into something almost… soft.

When you finally pulled away, you were both breathing heavily, still pressed against the wall, his forehead resting against yours.

“See?” he said smugly, his usual cockiness back in full force. “Told you I’d make things interesting.”

You wiped your mouth, still processing what just happened. “You’re still a pain,” you muttered, but there was no real heat in your words now. You could feel your heart racing, but you couldn’t quite figure out what to do with this new tension between you two.

Quackity raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by your shift in energy. “Oh, I know I’m funny. But you? You’re just… cute when you’re angry.” “Now you’re thinking about me,” he teased, leaning back in his chair with that infuriatingly pleased look on his face. “You’ll get used to it.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, but despite everything—despite the frustration and the tension—you knew one thing for sure: you couldn’t look at him the same way again.

“Well,” you said, standing up and gathering your things, “We still need to finish this project. But you’re lucky I’m not leaving you for being an insufferable jerk.”

“Oh, you know you love it,” Quackity shot back with a wink. “Now, let’s get this over with, so we can celebrate later.”

[bradleysass]

Honey - @black-brothers-microfic - wc: 630 - Starchaser + Sirius

The fluorescent lights of Tesco buzzed overhead, casting a sterile glow over the trio standing at the entrance. Sirius, clad in his usual leather jacket and fingerless gloves, looked as if he'd been dragged here against his will—because he had been. Regulus, ever the unwilling participant, scowled at the bright overhead sign like it personally offended him. And James… well, James was currently discussing their grocery store survival strategy.

"We need a code word for when things go south," James said suddenly, pushing up his glasses in that determined way he did before saying something dumb.

Regulus sighed as if he had already aged ten years just by being near him. "A code word? You want me to just fucking squawk like a bird while I'm at it?" He folded his arms, unimpressed. "It's a grocery store, Potter, not an underground mission."

Sirius, who had been silent up until now, fiddled with his gloves, watching them like they were a particularly riveting television program. "You two do realize we're just here to buy pasta and maybe some cheese, right? Not rob Gringotts?"

James ignored him. "Right, so the code word—honey."

Regulus closed his eyes, inhaled sharply, and counted to five before responding. "Honey?" he repeated, voice laced with sheer disbelief. "Of all the words in existence, you pick honey?"

James grinned, as if this was the most reasonable choice in the world. "It's easy to say. No one will suspect a thing. And if we get separated, all you have to do is yell it, and I'll come running."

"That's such a stupid word," Regulus deadpanned. "I'd rather just yell for you if we end up in different aisles." His voice held a slight edge of defeat, as if he knew resistance was futile. Talking to James for too long had that effect.

Sirius snorted, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I can't believe I know either one of you."

James slung an arm around Regulus's shoulders, practically bouncing on his feet. "C'mon, love, let's go get that pasta."

Regulus grumbled but allowed himself to be steered inside, already regretting all of his life choices leading up to this moment.

—

Fifteen minutes later, things did, in fact, go south.

Regulus had made the mistake of leaving James alone for two minutes—two minutes!—to find a decent bottle of olive oil. By the time he turned back, James had disappeared.

He cursed under his breath, glaring at the rows of packaged food as if they were somehow responsible for his predicament. Of course James couldn't be trusted to stay put.

Sirius, who had been perusing the snack aisle, wandered over with a bag of crisps in hand. "Lost your boyfriend already?"

Regulus shot him a glare. "He's not—" He stopped himself, exhaling sharply. "Forget it."

"Guess there's only one thing left to do," Sirius said, an infuriating smirk tugging at his lips.

Regulus narrowed his eyes. "Don't you—"

"HONEY!" Sirius bellowed at the top of his lungs.

Several heads turned. A middle-aged woman gave them a suspicious glance. A teenager stocking shelves nearly dropped a can of beans. Regulus wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

And then, down the aisle, James's head popped up like a golden retriever spotting his owner. He grinned brightly and jogged over, completely unbothered. "Oh, you actually used the code word! That's brilliant, Reggie—"

Regulus smacked a hand over James's mouth before he could finish that sentence.

"We are never doing that again," he muttered darkly, ignoring the way James's shoulders shook with laughter against his palm.

Sirius, still munching on his crisps, clapped a hand on Regulus's shoulder. "I don't know, little brother. I think honey suits you."

Regulus didn't dignify that with a response.

Next time, James was staying home.

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

I’m not here to discuss Fódlan discourse, I’m here to talk about something far more based: Fódlan Theology!

In all /srs-ness, I’ve been thinking about the Church of Seiros a lot and what real world theology inspired it, it’s more than just fantasy Christianity, though it very much is still fantasy Christianity given that it tends to fall into the trope of making things worse more often than better, like fantasy Christianity tends to do…

Ahem, back on topic. So people meme about Byleth being Fire Emblem Jesus, right? Well, I’m here to say, “No, That’s Wrong!” to that statement. SEIROS is Fódlan’s Jesus, given that she’s the one who’s actually Sothis’s child. And when people pray at church in Fódlan, they’re not praying Sothis and Byleth, they’re praying to Sothis and Seiros. Heck, it’s called the Church of SEIROS, just like how CHRISTianity is named after Jesus CHRIST.

Of course that leaves the question, “what’s Byleth meant to be, then?” Well, they’re the Second Coming of Seiros of course. Obviously with creative liberties taken given that Seiros never actually died in Fódlan, people were simply lead to believe she did, and nobody’s ever really discussed or believed that a second coming of Seiros was a thing, Byleth seems to be more seen in Universe as a second coming of Sothis instead, but I think that’s just a case of creative liberties being taken.

I’d like to circle back to Seiros though, as she’s not just based off Jesus, but she and her saints are based off the 4 Heavenly Kings and their Draconic Leader from Japanese mythology.

We never see Seteth and Flayn transform, but given that there are 5 of them in total and the beast forms of Rhea, Indech, and Macuil are a Dragon, Turtle, and Bird respectively. By process of elimination we can determine that the remaining two are a Serpent and a Tiger, or rather a cat in Flayn’s case.

Now some of you might be wondering why they’d have different forms despite being parent and child? It’s because we know they’re canonically different types of Dragons, the Dragon Seals that hold the power of their Crests explain as much. Seteth is an Earth Dragon while Flayn is a Light Dragon, she likely takes after her mother. Odds are if she survived, Flayn’s mother would’ve been the Tiger, but as Flayn had to fill in, and still being a child she would be a cat, rather than a grown Tiger.

As for why I know she’s the tiger and not the serpent. A: she likes fish to an almost obsessive degree. B: she once napped for centuries and cats are known for sleeping a lot. C: she dressed as a cat in her Halloween alt. And given how bad she is about being subtle, I feel like that last one is all the proof I need.

I’m sure there’s still more to Fódlan Theology that I didn’t bring up/haven’t noticed yet, because honestly the Seiros Faith is shockingly layered, which makes sense since Intsys has been writing FE for a long time so it’s not surprising that they’re gotten good at fleshing certain things out.

.

[swiftfootedachilles]

im just gonna be honest gang obviously its gonna be easy for you to say youre in love with a character and theyre an angel when anytime they do something you don't like you brush it off as out of character

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[edge-oftheworld]

going back through some of this fandom's history has made me realise, we really see people as black and white good or bad don't we?

[celibibratty]

Happy birthday Daniel