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starsstruck · 4 years ago

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strange phenomena; part one.

what happens when we meet again? you and harry have barely seen each other in almost a year. two ex-lovers find themselves in the same snowy town by strange chance, both looking for something they can’t seem to figure out. cafe run-ins, old love letters, and bittersweet nostalgia.

pairing: harry x reader warnings: language, slight mention of sexual content words: 13.3k

series masterlist

an: thank you for being patient with me. this is just a little story from my little heart shaped brain. thank you to @sunflowers-styles for beta-ing and being supportive and the overall best 💌 i hope everyone enjoys and please do let me know what you think ! happy reading xoxo 💌

There was something unsettling about not having a schedule.

Your entire life, you had been told that you weren't supposed to quit a job without having another one already lined up, and you had been able to keep up with that. Until now.

The impulse to leave the office that left you frustrated, tired, and overworked had been bubbling up inside of you for years, and it was only a mere couple months ago that you finally snapped.

Snapped, grabbed your things, and quite literally ran away. Call it a life crisis, maybe considered somewhere between a quarter and a mid, but there was something about simply leaving everything behind that took a temporary weight off your shoulders.

Which is how you ended up in a little town in eastern France, staring out the window of the café where you sat and watched the snowfall that had just picked up again.

There was an emptied mug on your side, crumbs of a delicious pastry sitting on a plate, and a blank page in your worn notebook. You had everything you needed to work: your favourite playlist softly playing in your ears so you wouldn’t get too distracted by conversations around you, not one but two notebooks filled with a year's worth of thoughts, and warm clothes that wouldn’t leave you with indents in your skin after sitting for too long.

But apparently that didn’t necessarily mean that you would be making much progress.

Five days since you had gotten to Annecy. A friend of yours had moved out to the old tourist town a number of years ago after meeting her partner, and they were nice enough to let you stay with them. Five days of trying to work and still no progress.

You had daydreams of sitting down, words easily flowing as you would fill pages until the sun set. But it was only five days, a little leeway was okay, wasn’t it?

That idea of a bit of little leeway, however, was constantly being bullied by the big label of unemployed. You knew very well, soon the need for a job would be coming back and all those daydreams would have to go back on a hiatus.

But here on the fifth day, after picking at the crumbs of your long gone croissant, you decided to pack up your things and call it a day. That was the one thing you were able to do – tell yourself that today nothing would be done and that was okay, instead of spending the rest of the hours until midnight forcing yourself to do something.

So you buttoned up your wool coat, wrapped on your scarf and stepped out into the light snow to trudge back to your temporary housing.

Harry had seen you the second time you were there.

You were a creature of habit - just as he was apparently so - and you seemed to always return to the same café, the small but warm La buvette du marché, tucked away in the old town.

He nearly fell over his feet when he saw you sitting in the corner, earbuds in and eyebrows furrowed so deeply he could see the creases in your skin, even from the distance he stood away from you.

He left in a hurry, in a panic. He told himself that he had likely imagined it, maybe he was still jet-lagged, maybe his mind was tricking him, maybe it was some odd lucid dream during an afternoon nap.

But then he saw you again, on the fifth day as you packed up your things in a huff and hugged your coat tighter around your chest. You looked too wrapped up in your own thoughts to even notice anyone else around you, except for the quick smile that you shot to the older woman behind the counter before you were walking out into the darkening street.

Harry couldn’t help but slightly spiral a bit more. He tried to recall any mention from remaining mutual friends, or even acquaintances, about you coming here, but couldn’t remember. He even considered calling some, but decided against it in a quick grounding moment when he realized that it would seem far too odd.

Even more so, he couldn’t believe that you found yourself in the small town at the same time as him. In the same place. At the same time.

It was all too familiar.

He took that as a good sign.

The seventh day – now a week in – you were back at the café.

This time you had managed to scribble down some ideas. Last night you had barely slept, tossing and turning as you tried to force your brain to come up with something, anything.

Just as it always went, as you were falling asleep it seemed like you had an idea going but unconsciousness soon took over and you were left with bits and pieces to pick up.

Today, you hadn’t gotten something to eat right away and instead told yourself that once you got a good chunk of work done, you would treat yourself to something sweet and a little break.

Harry, by not so much of a coincidence, was also back.

He liked the small town of Annecy, winter was a bit of an off season no matter its proximity to the Alps, and it was lowkey enough to where he could easily keep a low profile and go as he pleased.

He walked over to the same café in the late afternoon, hoping that maybe maybe you would already be there. It was making him nervous. But maybe you wouldn’t be there, and that would stress him out even more because maybe this was all a dream?

But there you were, twirling a black pen between your fingertips as you subconsciously chewed at the inside of your lip. He could tell by the way your chin was slightly protruding, and the way your lips moved lightly. He almost hated himself for being able to notice such a thing.

This time, you were the one to look up at him.

And lucky for him, or maybe unlucky he wasn’t sure yet, he was already staring back at you.

He could see a flurry of thoughts filter through your eyes. Your eyebrows unknotted for a moment, before furrowing even tighter this time with your mouth slightly parting and then closing.

He tried to smile, finding himself shuffling closer to you as he tried to recall how to use his feet and his voice. Calming down just the slightest bit when you offered him a tiny wave, he took that as all he needed to keep walking the path that led to your table.

And then he was standing a mere few feet in front of you.

When you spoke, it made it all that more real for Harry.

Obviously, you were physically there in front of him, something he couldn’t have imagined happening to him now, but the quiet “hi” that escaped past your lips made blood rush to his ears.

He cleared his throat – he didn’t really need to, he just felt he could use the extra second – before repeating the greeting back to you. ��Hey…”

You couldn’t break his gaze. Seeing – and hearing – the hesitation in him, you almost wanted to tell him to leave you alone and try and forget this had ever happened. Maybe leave for some place else.

But you really didn’t want to do that.

“What,” the word was a puff of air. He felt out of breath. “What are you doing here?”

What were you doing here?

“Working,” was all you said, wincing slightly at the way the statement sounded. You felt like your heart was about to explode, like all words seemed to escape you and that the floor was about to crack open and swallow you up.

He only stared at you.

You sat up straighter, lifting a hand from where it was resting on the table to motion to the empty chair across from you. “You can have a seat – if you’d like.”

It was like he was on a three second lag, staring at you for a moment too long before reacting to your words. With a quick nod, he sat himself down across from you, bag falling to the floor near where yours was. He kept his coat on.

“Nellie’s really letting you work from here?”

You didn’t miss the slight pettiness of his words.

Shaking your head, you decided to ignore it and instead rolled your lips into your mouth before glancing back up at him. “No, I uh – I quit.”

His eyebrows shot up so quickly, the sudden change in his expression nearly made you flinch. He quietly kept his eyes on you for a moment longer, as if you were about to tell him that you were joking.

“You did?” He finally said, and if you paid close attention, which of course you were, you could see a little quirk in his lips. “You really quit?”

Unable to help the small chuckle that left your mouth at his reaction, you felt the beginnings of a smile pulling at your lips. “Yeah,” you said softly. “I did.”

A smile was pulling at Harry’s mouth as well – you could tell that he was trying hard not to with the way his lips slightly pursed and he bit them together. But he couldn’t help it.

“Well,” he cleared his throat once more and leaned back in his chair, making himself more comfortable. “Good for you.”

Another silence came over the two of you. Your right hand was pinching the skin of your thigh through your trousers to ground yourself, to remind yourself that Harry was really sitting here in front of you. Out of anywhere he could be.

Everything about him was so familiar. You recognized his coat, the dark green that you knew was so warm to be wrapped up in. His hair looked longer since the last time he was in front of you, but it also sat slightly messy and unstyled over his head. He was nervously twisting the few rings on his fingers – most of his fingers were bare which was something you hadn’t seen in a while.

Even the way he watched you, his steady stare that seemed to speak to you without needing to say any words, left you to be speechless.

Of course, you had thought about this moment over in your head countless times.

You fantasized about him showing up at your door, late at night and begging you to talk to him. You thought about running into him when you were out for errands, and would ignore him altogether. You thought about him calling you or what would happen if you called him, what you would talk about and everything he’d tell you. You had dreamt of everything that could possibly happen, but now you sat frozen.

“So uh,” Harry’s voice broke you out of your reverie. “If you quit, where aboust are you working now?”

You bit your lips together. “I’m not…working anywhere. Working for myself, I guess.”

He gave you a surprised look once more. “Writing?”

You only nodded, unable to help the smile that was building on your mouth. And Harry couldn’t help but mirror it.

He took a moment to take you in, closer this time. You were dressed warmly, a thick purple sweater hanging off your shoulders that hit fairly low on your hips, over loose black trousers. The lavender made you glow – he decided it was his new favourite colour on you.

You had a different pendant hanging off your neck, and he could see a second chain hidden beneath the collar of your sweater. A series of pens were in front of you, and he knew that you had been toying with them based on how they were haphazardly thrown over the tabletop. You kept slipping in your bottom lip between your teeth, something he couldn’t help but watch as every time it brought his attention back to your mouth.

He shouldn’t be thinking about your mouth.

“That’s great to hear,” he nodded after another moment too long in silence. “I mean, you know I’ve said this before so I’m not going to say it again but –” he cut himself off, already finding himself rambling. “It’s good. I’m glad that you’re doing it.”

You chuckled again, and he felt himself melt a bit deeper into the chair across from you. “I’ve really barely started but. Thank you, Harry.”

It was the first time he’d heard you say his name in so long. He liked hearing it, he missed hearing it.

“’Course,” was all he said. “I’m happy to hear that you’re writing.”

Another silence when you simply nodded.

“Why did you come here?” He spoke softly, the somewhat elephant in the room getting aired as you briefly averted his gaze.

“Wanted to get away,” you said honestly. “And Eloise offered for me to live with her for a bit, so it was an easy decision.”

“Easy,” he mused, repeating the word as he momentarily pulled at the sleeves of his sweater. “Taking some time to relax?”

“Something like that,” you paused, thinking of how to ask him the same thing. “How about you – are you passing through or…?”

He lightly shook his head, drumming his fingertips over his thigh. “I’m here for some time.”

“Oh,” you closed the notebook in front of you, leaning your forearm over it. You opened your mouth to say something else, but you seemed to not remember how to form words. He jumped back in.

“I’m here writing as well actually – or trying to.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Album?”

“Yeah,” he rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, leaning forward in the chair again to rest his forearms over the tabletop, similar position that you were sitting in as you both lent forward. “Been trying to get it done for far too long now.”

You remembered – you remembered in your last weeks together his frustration over his inability to be happy with what he was creating for his third album. You held your lips closed with your teeth for a moment, unsure of which thread to follow. He continued once again after you didn’t say anything.

“I’m here alone,” he paused. “Staying in a small place just outside of town.”

You couldn’t help the quiet scoff. “You’re never alone.”

He laughed to himself. “I am this time.”

You both felt like you were circling around the same thing. You were the first one to voice it. “So you decided to come… here. To Annecy.”

He looked at you dead in the eyes, as if challenging you. “Yeah, I did.”

Another silence fell, this one seeming to be heavier than all the other one’s combined.

“It was –” Harry finally broke the silence after what seemed like ten minutes. You wished your brain was working at the moment. “It’s really nice seeing you.”

You gave him a gentle smile. “You too.”

He tucked his feet under his chair, ready to push back from the table and stand. He was ready to leave the café, think about this moment every hour of the days to come until he managed to let it go. If that’s what you wanted.

But you didn’t.

“I’ll leave you to it. I don’t want to keep you from your work for too long,” he sounded nearly remorseful as he blindly reached for his bag at the floor, not wanting to look away from you.

“Wait –” you said way too quickly, but you didn’t care. “Stay – if you want.”

He paused every movement he was making, glancing up at you with a growing grin. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, familiar warm feeling spreading through your chest when his expression eased. “We barely caught up.”

Harry slowly leant back into the chair, nodding with a hint of a smile playing at his lips. “Okay – I’d like that.”

He unzipped his jacket then, resting it on the back of his chair and pushed the sleeves of his sweater up over his elbows. Leaning forward again, this time not to stand but to take a peek at the mug sitting in front of you.

“Did you want another?”

“Still working on this one,” you smiled in thanks, grabbing the cup with the lukewarm coffee to take a little sip.

Harry quickly had his own coffee in front of him, clutching the little mug in his hands as if it would act as some kind of buffer between the two of you.

“I hope you stormed out of that office,” he told you, after once more asking if you had seriously quit your job.

“Wasn’t that dramatic, unfortunately,” you laughed, also wishing that you had the guts to cause a scene and walk out of work. “I gave my notice, had a very civil last chat with Nellie and that was really it. Can’t really afford to burn any bridges.”

Harry didn’t want to comment too much on your recent unemployment, the emotionally exhausting nature of your previous job being a hot topic of conversation when the two of you had been together. He decided it was best to bring up at a later time, if he had the opportunity that is.

“What are you working on now, then?”

You mindlessly picked up a forgotten pen, twirling it between your index and middle finger a few times before letting it fall back down. “What I’ve always said I would.”

“Book?”

You shrugged, not wanting to think about the implications too much. “Something like that.”

He wanted to ask you about it further, but you easily changed the subject. “How long have you been here then?”

“Just over a week now,” he took another sip of his coffee. “And you?”

“A week,” you tried your hardest to stop the way your lips started to curve upwards, at the fact that you had both come around the same time. He seemed to be thinking the same thing, as a little nervous chuckle escaped his mouth. “How is the album coming?”

His laughter died down. “Not well,” he said honestly. “Nothing really since…” Nothing really since we were last together.

You nodded, knowing what he was about to say. “Keeping myself busy - I was actually filming for a movie the last few months.”

“I read that,” you nodded, not realizing you were admitting to slightly keeping up with what your ex was up to.

Another silence came across the two of you when you both took big sips of your drinks, you finished off the rest of the now cold coffee that had completely lost its charm.

“You look good,” your voice came out a little quieter. “Rested.”

You swear you saw a little pink hit his cheeks. “Thank you,” he hummed in response, having a thousand compliments ready for you but none of them found their way past his lips. “Are you allowed to tell me I look good?”

It was a cheap shot, but he took it.

You paused, a small smile pulling at your mouth. “Friends can compliment each other, no?”

Friends.

“Of course,” he hid his expression behind the mug that he raised to his mouth. “In that case - you look good - incredible even.”

He added the second part on a whim, still staring you down as you refused to break his gaze, never one to back down from a subtle staring contest.

A small sliver of silence passed, before Harry cleared his throat.

“I hope I’m not keeping you,” he murmured, watching your hands fiddle with the pens that rested more or less untouched on the surface of the table.

“You’re not,” you shook your head. “I’ve barely gotten anything done either way. If anything, I’m distracting you.”

Harry bit his lips together. He was never one to complain about how much you distracted him. “You’re always a welcomed distraction,” he leant his forearms further over the table. “Not so much progress here either.”

“I have a hard time believing that,” you laughed lightly when Harry raised his eyebrows, giving you an incredulous look. “You were constantly writing. Never met anyone with so many filled notebooks.”

“I guess but I – I couldn’t make anything out of it, you know? I don’t know if you remember,” he glanced up as you gave him a little nod. How could you forget about any moment spent together.

“Still feel just as stuck.” His brows knotted, staring at the table for a few seconds before glancing back up at you. “Sorry, for unloading this on you.”

“No, no it’s okay,” you offered him a sympathetic smile. “It’s okay if it takes you a little longer – if it takes a few tries.”

He forgot how much comfort he could get from your smile. “Thank you,” he murmured. “Feels like I’ve exhausted everything – like there are no words left for me to write.”

You couldn’t help what you said next. You didn’t mean to make it about yourself, you didn’t mean to even say what you did. You simply could not help it.

“Ever write about me?”

Harry stared at you for a few seconds. “You seriously…” he trailed off, eyes slightly wide on you. You had an apology ready on the tip of your tongue when he spoke again. “Filled countless books about you.”

You knew he wrote to you, leaving you little love notes or poems in your home or hidden amongst your things for you to find. Sometimes romantic, sometimes a little more explicit. But for whatever reason, you never imagined him writing a song about you.

He kept speaking in your silence. “You can’t be that humble – you can’t believe that I would never even think about writing about you.”

You didn’t know what to say. “I guess …I don’t know.”

Maybe you had been more successful that you’d thought in pushing memories of him away.

“To be honest, I uh,” now he was the one finding himself at a loss of what to say. “I didn’t want to put out something that was so personally about you. Wanted to keep you to myself.”

He lifted his eyes from the table, meeting yours before quietly murmuring. “Still do.”

A thick silence settled this time. You watched every small twitch in his demeanor – the quick bite of his lip, the bob of his Adam’s apple, the way his eyes flicked around your face just as you were sure yours were doing right now.

And they were, he was analyzing you, making new notes of your every feature that he could see for the thousandth time. He finally broke the silence, his voice sounding so loud all of the sudden.

“Come see what I have written.”

It was less of a question. Whether showing you old writing was really the only intention of the invitation was lost on you - and on Harry as well - but neither pondered on it too much.

You hadn’t said anything right away, but he was already reaching back to grab his jacket that was resting over the back of the chair. Slowly, you mirrored his actions and quickly began to pack up the pens and journal that had sat untouched for a good part of an hour.

Once you both stood wrapped in your coats and scarfs, with bags pulled over your shoulders, he met your gaze once more. “You coming?”

“Yeah,” you offered him a tentative smile. You realized you were nervous. Sitting with him in a public café was one thing, but spending time with him alone? That was something completely different that you weren’t sure you were prepared for. “Are we walking?”

“If that’s alright,” Harry nodded. “Staying just up the hill.”

And then you were off, following him in the thickening coat of snow that covered the yet to be plowed streets. Walking side by side at a safe distance, the falling snow hit you from every angle as the wind seemed to be starting to pick up.

Hugging your arms around your chest, you walked in silence for most of the trip.

At one point you were trying to move out of the way for a group of young school kids that were walking by, speaking far too fast for you to catch any words of their french as they excitedly bounced through the snow. Your foot caught on a lift of the sidewalk that was buried under the snow, giving you a momentary loss of balance.

Harry, however, was quick to notice. He had his arm looping through yours before you even realized you were tripping, as he held you upright and close against his side.

He knew that you were watching him, he could feel your eyes burn into the side of his face but he kept his gaze forward. The small kink in his lips gave him away though, when instead of pulling away you cozied yourself a bit more into his side and kept your arm tightly looped with his.

The rest of the walk was spent like that as you both trudged up the hill, out of the hub of the old town and out to the residential area. He quietly led you to his temporary housing, pulling out his set of keys from the inner pocket of his jacket and undid the front door of the building.

Walking up only one flight of stairs, you were soon being ushered inside a nice little apartment that could only be described as a character home. It was neat and cozy, just eclectic enough with tiled kitchen walls and different patterned rugs.

It was exactly the kind of place you had stayed in last time you were here.

“Let me turn the heat up,” Harry muttered, as you both shook off the snow from your hats and hair, hanging up the dampened clothing before warming back up in the apartment.

“Something to drink?” He called from the wall where he was presumably adjusting the heat, as you curiously glanced around the space he was staying in.

“What’ve you got?”

You easily found the kitchen as it was right after the hall from the door. A couple cups sat in the sink but it was otherwise clean. Harry joined you, standing across from you as he went to grab something from the fridge.

“”Have some mulled wine ready to be heated,” he pulled out a thermos.

“That sounds good,” you spoke quietly as you watched him work around the kitchen, grabbing a saucepan to heat it up.

He seemed to be stalling – you supposed you were as well. You didn’t know what you were doing here with him. You saw two possible outcomes, maybe three, but you didn’t know which one you were the most okay with.

Harry felt as though he had either been far too quiet, or was rambling too much. He wanted to ask you everything and find out absolutely everything and anything that had been going on in your life in the past ten months. He needed to calm down.

He heated up the homemade spaced mix, adding in a generous amount of the red wine. After a little moment while you distracted yourself with texting Eloise, you saw him pour a generous amount into each mug before turning off the element on the stove.

He handed you one of the mugs – a painted yellow ceramic one – settling to lean back against the counter across from you while you gripped the handle of your cup.

You lightly blew on the smoke billowing out from the top, holding the mug out to him in a quiet cheers before each taking a sip.

It was still too hot, but you both seemed to be stalling from whatever was about to unfold and you took any chance to distract yourself that you could. The drink had been a good idea, and was already warming you up – probably both by the liquor and the temperature of the beverage

“Good?” Harry broke the silence, after swallowing another sip of the drink. He had one hand resting over the ledge of the counter, elbow bent with a relaxed shoulder while the other hand held the mug. You wondered if he really was relaxed or just appeared to be – you seemed to be having a hard time reading him at the moment.

“Really good,” you nodded, occupying your mouth with the beverage as you found yourself at a loss of what to say at the moment. “Thank you.”

Conversation seemed to be flowing so nicely in the café, but now it was like you had no idea how to be around each other.

Harry was nervous. When he made the offer to show you the countless unseen songs about you, he hadn’t really thought it through. It had seemed like the right thing to say, and he really did want to share that with you, but things were just so … uncertain.

He could tell, by the way you kept one arm crossed around your front with the other’s arm elbow perched to keep the mug by your lips, you were uneasy. He didn’t want you to be that way, he wanted you to be nothing but comfortable with him.

“So where is that writing you were bragging about?” Your smooth voice broke him out of his daze, as he lifted his eyes back up to see you peering at him from behind the mug.

Rolling his lips in against his teeth, the corners of his lips perked up both at the way you were looking at him and to mask the slight pit of nerves that suddenly appeared. “Give me a sec’”

Leaving his mug with you in the kitchen, he made his way to one of his bags where he knew was packed a series of old notebooks – all taken with him for any kind of inspiration.

Flipping through them, unable to help the way he suddenly grew anxious over the idea of showing these to you. Especially out of the blue. Especially after this sudden reunion.

Deciding what to show you and what not to, he triple checked that he had grabbed the right book before making his way back over to you. He found you exactly where you were previously, mug in one hand with the other holding your phone, quickly typing something with just one thumb.

At the sound of his footsteps, you placed your phone down on the counter and glanced up at your ex. Finding his place across from you in the kitchen, he extended the notebook out towards you. It was clearly worn in, little scribbles of words across the leatherbound cover.

You recognized it. From being perched over his lap, tucked in his bag, next to him on the nightstand. You knew it.

“This was from that winter – actually think I filled it the last time we were here.” His voice was low, nearly distant as he tried not to look at you.

He didn’t know why he was sharing this with you now – maybe he felt like he needed to prove something, maybe he just missed you.

Wordlessly, you grabbed the worn book from him and tentatively opened it in your palm. Glancing up at him, he was clearly nervous and doing his best not to watch you read his every thought about you.

His eyes were cast to the side, looking out the window as if watching the heavy snowfall. With his arms now crossed over his chest, the thick knit of the sweater he was wearing bunching under his arms, you realized he looked more than nervous, almost worried.

You wondered if this was all a terrible idea.

Having not realized that you were still watching the profile of his face, looking at the way his eyes flicked from the window and down to the untouched mug that sat still on the counter. He grabbed it in a hand, the soft clink of the rings he had on against the ceramic being the only sound in the room.

You were sure he could feel you watching him, so much confirmed when the next place his eyes moved to were your own. Neither of you spoke, instead watched each other closely from either side of the small kitchen.

His expression was practically unreadable to you, something that you didn’t encounter often. You briefly thought he was upset with you, before he muttered. “Going to make dinner, if you’d like to stick around for some.”

Slightly surprised by the offer, even though you realized that when he had invited you to trudge up the hill with him to read a few half finished songs that probably wasn’t the complete intention.

Nodding, you answered with a low “thank you,” as he turned his body around and left the kitchen, no doubt searching for something elsewhere and leaving you to read alone.

Finally flipping open the book to a random page, turning a few pages until it looked less like a mess of scribbles and you could pull out several coherent sentences.

You found a small date written at the top of the page, and realized that this had been right in the middle of your last vacation in Annecy together.

You had to read over every word three, four times, before your hands moved without thinking and you were flipping the page to find more. Laying the spine of the notebook down against the kitchen counter, you leant over above it, completely captivated.

It was all so overwhelmingly beautiful. You didn’t realize that a small puddle of tears was gathering on your waterline until you blinked, and a few of them escaped and slid over the tops of your cheeks. Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea.

It was everything you remembered about being with Harry. Everything you remembered about the last time you were together in the little French town. Every ‘I love you’, every stolen kiss, every touch and feeling shared. It had been the happiest you ever remembered being.

It took you months to forget, or maybe not forget but not think about. And in a flood of it all coming back, you couldn’t help the tears that seemed to come flooding out as well.

Shutting the notebook a bit too quickly, you remained in your hunched position as you sponged at your tears with the back of your hand, wiping them away the best you could. You hadn’t thought about the reality, that there was no possible way you’d be able to handle reading everything that Harry had to say about you.

“Done already?” Harry’s voice startled you, not having heard him rejoin you in the kitchen. You quickly blinked your eyes, knowing there was no possible way to hide the fact that you had been crying but you hoped it wasn’t too obvious.

“No, I –” you cleared your throat lightly, turning around to look at him. You didn’t know what to say to him.

You watched his eyes scan your face, expression softening slightly before offering you a small smile. You assumed the whites of your eyes were reddened, and the skin surrounding was damp and still shiny from the little spill of tears.

He didn’t ask you anything else, and instead grabbed a pot from where it sat cleaned next to the sink and brought it over to the stove. “Do you want to chop the vegetables?”

Nodding with a murmured agreement, he handed you what needed to be cut along with a cutting board and a knife. You were grateful that he glossed over the topic, and now you found yourself biting back a smile. Spending time with him in such a mundane way was comforting. He put on some music, a soft background song playing while you both started to cook in a smooth harmony.

Conversation was light. He asked how living with Eloise was, you asked how long he had been in town for.

It wasn’t until you were both sitting across from each other with steaming bowls of soup and warmed bread, each having poured a generous amount of wine into your glasses that conversation got a bit heavier.

It started when you asked if he had been out to the lake yet, even though the cold weather obviously meant swimming wasn’t much of an offer.

It ended, however, with a heavy silence when you both started to recall the last trip to the lake. Nearly a full year ago now, it was the second day of March and your last weekend away in this undisturbed paradise. The air was still very much crisp and carried a winter bite, and on a barely warm night, the two of you had the terrible idea of taking a little night dip.

After about thirty seconds in the cold water, you couldn’t bear it and had to step out into the even colder air. After shivering back to your rental, you had drawn a burning hot bath to enjoy together and both decided that you would come back during the summer months to fully benefit from the lake and hikes.

But then you weren’t together over the summer.

Harry had immediately noticed your change in demeanor at the bittersweet reminder of the memory, silently cursing himself for bringing the conversation that way. He had hoped that it would maybe spark something in you, some kind or romantic nostalgia, but instead it seemed to just upset you.

A crushing silence had fallen again, and at least you had dinner to distract yourself with. Harry instead decided to change the conversation again, asking if Eloise still had those two little grumpy cats, and if you were enjoying staying with them.

You were lightheartedly laughing again by the time you were clearing the dishes, both the wine and Harry helping in the warm feeling under your skin. Your cheeks had been rounded with a smile and your mind a bit fuzzy, intoxicated not as much by the liquor but more so by the loving feeling around you.

It was quiet when you came back to the rental outside of town, the tiles of the floor cold under your feet after you had peeled your socks off. The rain had only increased in your short trip out to the nearby Monoprix, picking up what you needed to make a nice hearty soup for dinner as well as a bottle of wine.

After getting far too wet on the walk you had gone on during the afternoon, initially wanting to go hiking but the weather got in the way. Harry had stuck back while you grabbed your groceries and a fresh baguette as you had finished off the one you had during breakfast.

Hanging up your damp coat and taking off your too itchy sweater, you called out Harry’s name after placing the groceries down on the counter of the little kitchenette.

A faint reply was heard, as you followed the sound of his voice to the closed bathroom door. He told you to come in, and you were met with a warm steamy bathroom and your partner relaxing into the back of the tub.

“Didn’t feel like a shower,” he murmured as you smiled down at him, eyeing over the bubbles that covered the surface of the water.

“Hi,” you whispered, leaning down to press your lips to his in a quick greeting as he extended his neck out towards you. “It’s still dreadful out - you have the right idea taking a bath.”

You sat down on the edge of the tub, feet flat on the tile of the washroom floor as your upper body twisted to gaze down at Harry. The weeks so far spent in the small French town were like taking a break from reality - time was still and you could spend all the time you wanted wrapped up in each other.

“Missed you,” he murmured, wet hand raising from under the water to grab at your wrist. Pulling it towards him, he pressed a light kiss over your pulse point. You let your hand fall over his shoulder when he let go, when he instead decided he wanted to feel your lips on his again.

You easily complied, bending lower once more to slot your mouth over his with a lingering touch as he sighed over you. “Lips are cold.”

You chuckled an apology, shifting yourself closer to him as you still balanced on the ledge of the tub. Your hand wrapped around his neck, feeling the damp strands between your fingers as one of his hands grabbed a light hold of your arm. He traced a pattern over your bare arm, before shifting his arm around to the small of your back.

You remained like that for a moment, sharing sweet kisses laced with soft affirmations of affection, hands not wandering further from light grasps over each other’s bodies.

Though at a sudden move, a not so light move, an unattractive squeal left your mouth when your boyfriend hooked a hand under your bent knees and gripped you firmly, pulling you over the edge of the tub and into the water with him. You giggled his name after recovering from the initial shock, the heat of the water a sharp contrast to the chill in your bones and the sudden movement had your head spinning just the slightest bit.

You surprisingly didn’t mind all that much – in fact you didn’t mind at all. Wet clothes could be dried, and the way he held you so tightly and gazed down at you so lovingly you didn’t even realize that you were fully dressed in the bathtub.

Harry held you tightly, your legs now resting over him with his arm still under your knees as you found your place in his lap.

“My clothes are all wet,” you bit your bottom lip down, eyes catching Harry’s with a gleam as you rested your cheek against his chest. You looped your arm tighter around him, easily supported against his frame. “Could’ve given me a little warning.”

“Thought you liked spontaneity,” his mouth sought out yours again, this time landing a peck just over your cupid's bow. “And you just seemed so cold.”

You laughed over him and he pulled you even closer, as the water seeped through your clothes. You lifted your upper body a bit, not minding the way your shirt clung to your body as you brought your other hand to graze along the top of his cheek. “Really missed you.”

“Wasn’t gone that long,” you whispered. “Picked up some more bread - the woman at the bakery recognized me.”

You could feel the hum from his chest before you heard it, as he stole another quick peck from your lips. “Becoming a true local, aren’t you?”

“Guess I am,” you mindlessly trailed your fingertips over his features, tracing the curve of his lips as he spoke.

There was a small pause, a quiet comfortable silence. “What d’you say we stay a little longer?”

You didn’t really need to think about the offer that much. “How much longer?”

Harry shrugged, although knowing you both had responsibilities that were eventually needed to go back to. “Maybe a few more weeks?”

“I’d love that,” you pressed your lips to his, knowing that you’d eventually work out the details later.

He muttered something against your mouth, something you couldn’t quite catch as he returned your kiss. His hands wandered under your shirt, quickly pulling the soaking material from your body and throwing it with a wet slap to the tiled floor. Another problem to be dealt with later.

Your lips parted as his tongue grazed over yours, a soft hitting of teeth when you tried to reposition yourself over him. His lips slid down your chin and your jaw as you brought your legs to straddle him, the growing uncomfortable heavy corduroy of your pants needing to be the next thing to be taken off.

A soft curse escaped your lips both at the feeling of your lover’s hands on you and at the cool air, when he tugged your bralette over your head and again threw it somewhere to be immediately forgotten. His hands cupped your breasts, warm and wet and pulling deliciously at your nipples while his mouth sucked over the sensitive skin of your neck.

“Help me get outta these,” you whispered into the air, one of your hands fumbling with the button and zipper of your trousers while you held onto him for support.

After much moving around – splashing water, and slipping over the smooth bottom of the tub – the heavy material was tugged off your legs and thrown over the edge of the tub. Finally feeling his skin completely against yours, you repositioned yourself over his lap with a leg on either side of his as your mouths met.

You sank into his arms as he whimpered your name, holding you tightly around your hips. One of his hands wandered lower, brushing lightly over your underwear covered heat.

You were both incredibly hot - from the water and from the increasing tension - as you blindly grabbed at each other in quick desperation.

Your hips pressed over his, while his lips were wandering over the damp exposed skin of your chest, and he moaned lowly against you, “love you close - love you everywhere.”

He raised his swollen mouth from your skin, pressing his words over your mouth. “Gonna spend the rest of my life with you like this.”

“You should stay the night.”

You turned your head towards Harry from where you were carrying over the stack of dishes. “What?”

“Snow hasn’t stopped,” he motioned to the closed window. “And it's getting late. Better idea for you to stay tonight.”

You only stared at him with your mouth slightly parted as if to speak, but didn’t know what to say. You figured that you hadn’t really thought this through, and it wasn’t completely crazy that it was a better idea to wait out the night out here with Harry.

“Not stay the night stay the night,” he continued, easily noticing the little lift in your lips.

“So it was only ever about the writing then?” The teasing tone in your voice was evident, though Harry couldn’t help the way his heart skipped at the possibility of you wanting to be here with him just as much as he wanted you.

“I think it’s always good to hold out some hope.” He answered, watching your eyes linger on him for a moment longer before glancing away with a small chuckle.

“I know you’re right,” you hummed, turning on the tap to begin washing the small load that needed to be done.

“About holding out hope or staying over?”

Biting your bottom lip between your teeth, you watched him approach you from the corner of your eye before answering. “Both.”

He tried his best to hide his smile when he joined your side by the sink, each settling in without much discussion of you as the washer of the dishes and him as the dryer. “So you’ll stay?”

You didn’t think about it too much. “I might need a shower,” you started, keeping your eyes on the soapy water that you pulled a ladle out of. “And to borrow some things.”

“Still have the same face cream,” his hip bumped yours – almost so lightly it could’ve just been him readjusting his feet. ”Welcome to anything you’d like, always are.”

This time it was obvious that it was on purpose. Not so much of a bump but a nudge, a slow one as he leaned his body closer to yours and rested against you for a brief second.

“I’ll hold you to that,” you said lightly as your agreement, trying not to think too much about sharing a bed with your ex.

The quiet that came when you worked through the dishes together didn’t last all that long before Harry asked.

“Been seeing anyone?”

You glanced at him briefly. A cheek was half lifted, the hints of a smirk forming on his lips as he eyed you.

“Why’re you asking?” You countered, the answer to the question obvious.

“Why do you think,” he let out a chuckle, although was unable to help but feel a little anxious at the answer to the question, especially in your silence.

“There was one,” you spoke slowly. “A friend set it up – a double date. Saw him one more time after and that was it.”

“That was it?” Harry repeated your words, clearly looking for more of an explanation.

“Haven’t seen him again,” you turned off the tap, wiping your hands on the dish cloth hanging off a hook before facing Harry. “And you?”

“Twice,” he said – if you were going to be honest so was he. “Different person each time.”

“Busy boy,” you mused, trying not to wonder how long after you split it had been, or how recently.

His smirk had died down, meeting your eyes earnestly. “Never saw either again. You're a hard one to get over.”

His words hit you hard in the chest, like a little stab of a knife deep and sharp. He had spoken lightly, but you didn’t miss the slight clipped tone of his voice.

“Did anything… happen with the guy?” He asked immediately after, not giving you much of a chance to react to his confession.

You only bit your bottom lip down, holding your mouth shut. The soft lights from above seemed like they had dimmed, the space around you feeling smaller and more intimate.

He took your silence as the answer, a pit of jealousy building at the mere thought of someone else's hands on you.

“Just a kiss,” you told him, barely able to recall the short end of date kiss shared between you and the man you hadn’t even thought about. “On the second date.”

Harry only hummed, arms crossing over his chest as he leant his hip against the counter. The dishes were nearly done and long forgotten by now.

“D’you wanna see him again?”

“Harry –”

“If you haven’t seen him since then it doesn’t sound that way,” he mused, cutting you off with his petty rambling. “Especially now that you’ve come here.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Wasn’t like what?” His tone was quiet, but as you looked up to see him again his eyes held something more, begging for your attention.

“I just wanted –” Stopping yourself, you couldn’t continue. I just wanted to stop thinking about you. Instead, you spoke a quiet “I don’t know.”

A heavy silence surrounded you for the millionth time that day. It had only been a few hours since you’d run into each other, since he’d invited you up and you’d easily agreed. You only looked away from him when his touch was felt over you, glancing down at the hand landing over yours on the counter, resting his palm over your knuckles.

His thumb softly brushed the skin. “Why did you come here?”

Harry couldn’t help but ask you again. He knew why he had come here, and he had a growing suspicion that you had come for the same reason – you were both just too stubborn to say anything.

“I told you, Eloise offered –”

“You could’ve gone anywhere though, I didn’t even know you were close with her.” Harry again, couldn’t help it.

You knew very well what he wanted to hear.

After a moment in silence, he spoke quietly and earnestly. “Did you miss us?”

You had to look away. You could feel his eyes burning into the side of your face, able to hear the heavy swallow in his throat before he spoke once more. “Did you miss me?”

You watched his hand lightly rest over yours, the way neither of you moved but once and a while there would be a small flinch or twitch of muscle as if the need to grab onto the other rested right below the surface.

“Of course I did,” his hand held yours a little tighter when you spoke. “We were good.”

“We were,” Harry repeated, quietly pondering on the past tense of the sentiment.

The decision to invite you up had been innocent at first, or so he wanted to tell himself that, but having you here with him was something he’d never thought to experience again. He asked you the same question once more. “Is that why you came here?”

Daring a few more steps towards you, the hand that was not over yours raised to brush its knuckles under your cheek, before grabbing a hold of your jaw. You were watching him closely, needing to swallow a thick gulp of air when he neared you.

Deciding not to answer him, as you both seemed to be aware of the true answer, you avoided the question entirely. “Is that why you came?”

You dropped your eyes down to his mouth when the corners of it quirked up, quickly looking back up to his eyes, almost hoping that he would avoid truly answering just as you had.

“It is, yeah.”

His earnestness shouldn’t have surprised you. You felt his words before you even processed them, momentarily reveling in your closeness. You were sure you were going to start crying again if he didn’t say anything else.

“Remember last time we were here,” Harry said, again quickly changing the subject. His hand that rested over yours moved up, sliding over the bare skin of your wrist before looping around to hold the counter behind you. Keeping himself impossibly close, he kept speaking at your nod. “Remember one of the first nights, in the park by the lake, the dancing, what was that called?”

“Bal musette,” you said without having to think about it all that much .

“Yeah,” his lips curved to a wider smile at the memory. “All the men wanted to dance with you.”

“They were all in their eighties,” you hummed, letting yourself lean into his touch over your cheek.

“Still,” he grinned. “We were good.”

You remembered the cool air, not quite spring yet but the ends of winter were apparent. Harry had held you close, he always did. It had been an evening of uncontrollable laughs, interlocked hands, and stumbling home in a rush. The late dinners, the indulgence in delicious chocolates, the walks by the lake; it was all too good. The entire time really, was a blissful month.

You knew it, you both knew it. Right now, neither of you could even remember what had led to a break up in the first place.

He was all around you, his arms keeping you in while the tip of his nose nudged your cheek and his face grew closer to yours. There was only a soft orange glow in the room, hitting off the top of his features in a way that drew you in. So close he became a blur to you, something you hadn’t experienced in nearly a year.

But it was when he tilted his chin down that you processed what he was about to do, that you let your head fall to the side in a quick move to avoid his kiss, only a brush of his cheek over your jaw being felt.

Harry let himself fall forward, his forehead landing on your shoulder as he let out a quiet chuckle into the crook of your neck. Neither of you moved from where you were, still standing pressed to one another with his chest pushing against yours and his arms on either side of you.

Moving your head back, you couldn’t help the breathless laugh that blew through your nose, not doubt tickling the skin of his neck.

“What was that,” you hummed quietly.

He tilted his head slightly, lips brushing over the skin of your neck. “Sorry,” he spoke, although he didn’t mean the apology all that much. He had wanted to kiss you; he still does. “Felt right.”

It was overwhelming, being close and personal with you once more. Harry moved his nose to the column of your neck, smelling the familiar comfort of the perfume that lingered on you.

“Felt right,” he repeated, voice muffled from his mouth resting over your neck. He didn’t miss the way you tilted your head again, this time not to avoid his touch but to allow more space along your neck as he pressed the lightest of touches onto the sensitive skin. “Didn’t it?”

He also didn’t miss the soft hitch in your throat, breath getting caught when he let his lips linger. Getting lost in you for a moment, when you lifted a hand to his shoulder, and wrapped your arm around him in a desire to keep him close. His lips pressed harder, parting to allow a quick lick of his tongue over the familiar skin. You sighed softly above him, feeling everything at once in a breathtaking moment.

But then you found your breath again, and spoke his name quietly before shifting away from him. “Harry –”

“I know-”

He sighed, a deep pull of air through his lungs when he pulled away from you. Just enough to meet your bewildered eyes, just enough that he could see every detail on your face without having them blur. “Let’s get to sleep, yeah?”

You only nodded, peering into his eyes as if it would help you read his mind. His gaze flickered away from yours, falling to the spot of floor between your feet before willing himself to move away from you. “We’ll feel better in the morning.”

You had no idea what he meant at all, but only watched him walk away from where he had just been. The quiet music that had still been playing was abruptly turned off, the lack of sound making the rapid beating of your heart that much louder. Taking a minute for yourself, you slowly followed him out of the kitchen.

“D’you mind if I shower?” Your voice sounded foreign to yourself, after an uncomfortable silence settled in the apartment.

“Go ahead,” his voice was distant, and you simply made your way to the washroom for a quick shower before likely not getting any sleep through the night.

Seeing the array of his toiletries laid out over the countertop was once more far too familiar, most of them being the same ones you had seen nearly everyday. Helping yourself to them since you were here for the night, you did your best to scrub off what makeup you had one before getting into the shower.

“Hey,” Harry’s voice suddenly invaded your senses, as he nudged the door open just as you were about to pull your sweater up over your head, hand stuck halfway up your chest.

Immediately dropping your hand back down as the knit fell back over your body, you saw Harry's eyes raise up to yours through the mirror. “Sorry,” he spoke quietly. “Just bringing you some clothes that you can sleep in.”

“Thank you,” you only looked at him through the mirror, watching as his eyes fell back down to where your hands were still holding your sweater by your hips.

Another moment too long passed with neither moving or saying anything, and just as you parted your lips to say anything, Harry cleared his throat. “I know, I know.”

He sighed, as if you had been about to scold him for lingering again and shut the bathroom door behind him, leaving you alone once more.

You showered as quickly as you could, washing your body and keeping your hair out of the water. You tried your best not to think about the way Harry’s eyes had slowly dragged over your body, even your sweater covered one. You tried not to think about the way he smelt the same, or the way his hands felt so good around you and the way he had wanted to kiss you. Or the way his lips felt so familiar over your neck, that if you hadn’t stopped him there might not be a wall separating the both of your right now.

And it didn’t get better when you came around the corner dressed in his clothes, sweats bunching at your ankles and the crewneck looking warm around you. You shot him a nervous smile from where he was already in bed, placing your belongings next to the bag you had on the floor, before turning back to glance at Harry.

“Well come on in,” he smiled, trying not to let his gaze linger on you for too long and lifted the corner of the duvet up on the other side of the mattress. With the sleeves of the crewneck pulled over your palms, you tentatively slid in on the bed, trying your best to maintain as much distance as you possibly could.

Harry turned off his phone, placing it on the table next to him before leaning over to shut off the only source of light.

You rested on your side, daring to face Harry as you hugged the pillow under your cheek. “It was a nice surprise seeing you today,” you started, not wanting to go to sleep on an awkward note.

He faced you when you spoke, mirroring your position from the other side of the mattress. “What are the odds that we both came back here,” he posed it less of a question, more as a quiet wondering. “Would never have thought -”

Humming in response, you didn’t know what the odds were really. Must have been pretty low, and the fact that you were both here and now found yourselves sharing a bed was not at all where you thought you’d end up when you got up this morning.

He turned from his side to his back, looking away from you and instead chose to stare up at the ceiling. The urge to be close to you was strong, and it felt incredibly odd to not be near you as you both went to sleep together.

“Goodnight,” you spoke quietly. You shuffled down the mattress and rested your head over the pillow. There was no way you were going to sleep tonight.

“’Night,” Harry hummed from the other side of the bed, lying just as stiff as you were.

You rolled onto your side with your back to the man you couldn’t believe you were sharing a bed with once more. You begged your mind to turn off, to let sleep take over your body so that it could be morning, and maybe everything would make sense in the morning.

But instead your mind wandered to every possible thought regarding Harry, and you rolled onto your back to stare at the ceiling. Trying your damn hardest not to pay attention to Harry’s breathing, or his own shuffles on the bed.

You didn’t know how long it had been, but you were starting to grow hot. Sticking a leg out from under the covers didn’t help much, and then you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You couldn’t stop thinking about Harry – about how you felt with him, about how he made you feel when you had been together. In and out of the bedroom.

Rolling onto your stomach for the thousandth time, hoping Harry was asleep so he hadn’t been hearing your constant shuffling, you squeezed your thighs together and cursed yourself for thinking what you were while lying in a bed with your ex. Wasn’t so much arousal, but just… neediness.

Not only could you not stop thinking about every touch you shared, the linger of his hands and his lips, but you couldn’t take your mind off of every single word you read in his old notebooks. It was haunting you nearly, an old ghost that was sitting on your chest and leaving you heavy hearted.

It was when you rolled from your stomach to your back again with a quiet sigh, that Harry muttered against his pillow with a low voice, “stop movin’ around.”

Slightly embarrassed that he had obviously been awake the entire time as well, you rolled your head to the side to see him over the space of the middle of the mattress. “Sorry – can’t sleep.”

He did the same, turning his head so that your eyes could meet in the nearly completely dark room. “Me neither.”

You simply looked at each other for a moment, trying to let yourself relax enough so that you could eventually drift to sleep before Harry spoke again. “It feels odd, doesn’t it? Sleeping but not being close.”

You nodded, realizing he couldn’t really see your movement before speaking. “Yeah – I can’t relax.”

This time there was no pause between words. “Come here,” Harry said quickly.

“What?”

He shuffled closer to the middle, closer towards you. “Friends can cuddle, can’t they? Just – come here.”

You didn’t think too much of the offer..

You moved away from the very edge of the bed, closer to where Harry layed. He extended an arm out, wrapping it around your shoulders as you came closer and pulled you in to lay next to his chest. Tentatively raising your hand, you laid it flat over his chest before sliding it around him as you hugged him from the side.

It felt nice – normal even, being in his arms. He let out another sigh, murmuring a quiet “goodnight” before settling back down into the mattress.

You felt his hand fall lightly over your shoulder, fingertips brushing on the fabric of the borrowed jumper. You were hyper focused on your breathing, trying your best to steady it in a lame attempt of getting your heartbeat to calm down. But when you realized Harry’s heart was beating just as fast, you relaxed even more against him.

Sleep came slowly, but it eventually did come. At one point Harry moved positions, just the slightest bit, but just enough that he was able to push a leg against yours. Slowly moving your own legs, you let him rest his calf over yours with the small tangle of your legs. That was the last thing either of you remembered before falling asleep.

The morning held a bit more tension.

Harry woke up before you, and spent far too long contemplating on whether he should get up or not. So long, in fact, that you had woken up and made the decision for him. While he feigned being asleep, you quietly shuffled out from under the covers.

Following the sound of your footsteps to the washroom, he heard the door close behind you and the quiet hum of the tap after a moment. He wondered if you would leave immediately.

Getting out of bed himself, he first went to go adjust the thermostat as the air was far too cold after being out of the cozy warmth of the bed, and went to go turn on the kettle.

You were by his side moments later, each sharing quiet “good mornings” while he tried not to stare at the way your eyelids still drooped down and the way you pulled the sleeves of his jumper over your hands.

He knew the offer of coffee would get you to stay for a cup, but by the way you had rushed back to the bathroom with your clothes from the day before told him that you weren’t planning on sticking around for too long.

By the time you reappeared by his side, you were dressed just as you had yesterday. He knew he’d find the clothes you’d borrowed folded over his bed. You seemed fresher faced than last time, even catching a whiff of his lavender scented moisturizer that you always used to borrow.

Biting his lips together to hide his smile at the fact you had in fact taken your liberties with his toiletries just as he’d offered, he quietly prepared you a cup of coffee while your attention was drawn down to your phone.

You mindlessly answered texts, none of them that urgent that they required your full attention as you still couldn’t help but pay close attention to Harry’s every move.

“Sleep okay?” He finally broke the silence.

You paused, needing to clear your throat before answering. “I did, yeah.” Only after he had invited you to lay peacefully in his arms. “You?”

“Did as well,” he hummed, filling the two mugs with the wonderful smelling coffee. “A lot better after you stopped moving around.”

“Sorry again,” you suddenly felt hot at his mention of your irritation – at the reminder of how incredibly needy you had gotten for him to even lay a hand over your own. Taking the mug of coffee as a welcomed distraction, you cupped it in two hands to bring it up to your mouth, blowing over the hot liquid.

He dropped the subject, though, as he mirrored your action and you both took a moment to let the coffee stall the inevitable goodbye that was about to be shared.

“What’re you up to today?”

He thought it over for a second, not actually having planned all that much. “Need to grab a few things from the store, otherwise not a whole lot.” He thought aloud. “And you?”

“Driving to Aix-les-Bains with Eloise, some store over there she wants to see.” You had just seen the text from your friend, deciding to not answer all the ones questioning what had happened with Harry.

You both took big sips of the still too hot coffee. “No writing today?”

“Not that I’ve been that successful,” you mumbled into the mug.

“You’ll find it,” he affirmed. “I know you will.”

Your chest warmed, not from the heat of the beverage but from the sincerity of his statement. You hid your face behind your mug, taking a nearly too big sip that you nearly choked on.

“Thanks again, for letting me stay and for… everything.” You placed the mug by your side, the caffeine suddenly making you nauseous. The words you had read in his old notebook still haunted you.

Harry realized that you were about to tell him that you were leaving, and a small bout of panic rose through his stomach. “Of course -”

He watched, dumbfounded of what to say, as you walked from the kitchen to where you had left your belongings and started arranging them in your bag and put your phone into the pocket of your trousers. Harry couldn’t stop watching every small move you made.

His eyes followed you around the kitchen, mind racing to find anything to say to you anything that would at the very least have you coming back to see him.

“Can I see you again?” He suddenly blurted, voice louder than it had been before, making you stop in your movements and turn to face him.

Your mouth parted and for a moment he thought it was forming into a ‘yes’, but it never came. And he didn’t realize that it never came because his attention caught on something else. Something that had been hiding beneath the tight knit of your sweater yesterday, something that he had forced himself to forget about.

He moved without realizing, taking the two small steps needed to stand right next to you. Noticing his sudden action, you turned yourself so that your body faced his with a small crease of confusion forming between your brows.

He couldn’t help it. Reaching out to where the small locket rested below your collarbones, he caught your attention with the small tug of the chain.

Oh.

Remaining quiet, you watched his focus fall to the necklace that had never been taken off. His bottom lip fell with a quiet exclamation, one you couldn’t hear no matter how close you stood. He turned it over in his hand, briefly wondering whether it was too far to open the little locket.

“Couldn’t take it off.” You said, as he remained quiet due to his current fascination.

You both watched as he toyed with the light metal in his fingers. Grazing over the small flat pearl that graced the front of the pendant, seeing it just as he’d last remembered it.

He had once again found himself standing desperately close to you. If he had moved closer while looking at the jewelry, he wasn’t sure. But when he let it fall back against the light purple knit of your sweater to meet your gaze, he realized that he could see every twitch of your eyes when they moved to gaze up at him.

His hand didn’t fall far, landing with a light touch over your wrist just as he had the night before.

“Give me a shot.”

You tilted your chin up, his words settling in with a flip of your stomach. “You said it yourself – we were good.”

“I know,” was all you could muster, the clear confidence in his words making your heart beat a little harder.

“And I’m having a hard time remembering what went wrong,” a humourless laugh shook from his chest, as he kept his eyes focused on the little locket that had been gifted to you nearly a year ago. “And seeing you here, out of all places. I can’t be the only one.”

“I know,” you repeated, very aware of the intense emotion that had been clouding your mind in the past twelve hours. “You’re not the only one.”

He lifted your wrist that he held, gently placing your arm over his shoulder to move in closer to you. You didn’t object, sliding your palm over the crook of his neck. You were unable to help but take a quick look at his mouth, at his lips that hovered so close to yours.

“Give us a shot,” he whispered, breath hitting the inside of your wrist when he titled his chin towards your arm. His lips skimmed the skin, pressing feather light kisses over the inside of your wrist. With the same light pattern of kisses on the inside of your forearm, he moved his lips away to instead focus on your face.

Placing his hand under your jaw, a similar position that you held him in as he seemed to be moving ever so slowly. Tilting his jaw up towards you, he let his lips skim so slightly across your cheek, so light you nearly thought you had imagined it. Just as he had last night, his nose brushed over your own first while he took a moment to savour you.

Waiting for any sign of hesitation on your part, which never came, he let his lips slowly fall over the corner of your mouth. Wet trail of touches that moved away from your lips and instead over to your cheek, he took a moment to hold you against him.

He whispered something over your jaw, you couldn’t hear him. With your eyelids fluttered shut and your head spinning, all your focus was set on what his lips were doing rather than what they were saying.

This time it was you, who slid your hand to the back of his neck with a much firmer grip. It was you that led his mouth to capture yours.

It was just lips on lips at first, a quick kiss that lasted barely a second. You pulled away before he could even have a chance to react, a small smile curving at your lips when you glanced up at him.

His hand slid up your arm to hold a tight grip around your back, while the other circled to the back of your neck, thumb brushing over your skin in soft circles. He pulled you in again, both relaxing into the kiss as his lips eased over yours.

Kissing him was everything good you remembered. The way he gripped you tightly against him, the soft touch of his lips, the way your name was rolling off his tongue in a quiet incredulous breath.

His mouth was warm, inviting, fitting so perfectly over yours as you tentatively parted your own lips to invite him in for more. Your free hand joined the other around his neck, letting his tongue graze against yours as you tasted each other for the first time in nearly a year. It was all the same – like no time had really passed at all.

Feeling his hand circle around your hip, holding you close as a quiet moan rumbled from deep in his chest. You couldn’t help the content sigh at the sound, completely melting into him. He was pressing tight against you, mouth completely capturing yours while your breathing mixed and lips dampened.

Your chins hit awkwardly when you tilted your head to the side and he went to lightly suck over your bottom lip. Though you didn’t mind the slight sting of his chin knocking yours, in fact you found yourself welcoming everything about him.

It wasn’t until you realized you were sharing heavy breaths, and when your lips had been growing more and more desperate for the other that you needed to separate for a quick deep breath of air.

He breathed your name with a quiet smile tugging at the corners of his mouth that was easily heard in his voice. “We’re still good.”

Your head was spinning. His head was spinning. Nothing seemed to be real, at the moment but at the same time everything seemed far too real.

Just as he leant in again, searching for your lips once more, you slid your palm down from his shoulder to the center of his chest and pushed yourself back an inch. “Harry…”

You wanted to feel his mouth on yours again, you really did. You just couldn’t bear to think what would come of it – you couldn’t revisit all the pain that you had managed to push away.

He shook his head, not believing you were about to turn him down again. Especially after that. He knew he shouldn’t be upset with you about it, he knew it was completely valid on your end but in this moment he felt like everything was coming crashing once more.

When he heard the quiet and pained tone in your voice, he bit his lip down – his lip that could still feel the whisper of yours – and shook his head in disbelief.

“We shouldn’t.”

A sharp pain came from your chest as Harry seemed to deflate against you. “If you don’t –” he had to look away from your heavy eyes as he spoke. “You can’t kiss me like that and then push me away.”

He was right - of course he was right - but you were so incredibly confused and couldn’t seem to process a single thing that you were feeling. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, neither of you moving. “I didn’t mean to…” you didn’t know what to say, because you really did want to kiss him. You still do. “I’m really sorry.”

Harry shook his head. “Don’t be sorry –” he sighed, hands falling from your body.

When he didn’t say anything else, you slowly dragged your palm over your forehead, feeling the sudden tension of the situation manifest in a growing pain in your head. “We can’t keep living in the past.”

He hated himself for the sliver of hope he felt when you said ‘we’.

“We were so fucking good,” he knew he needed to stop entertaining the topic but he really couldn’t help it He knew you saw it too. “We were a team, we were solid. I just don’t know,” he cut himself off, running the back of his hand over his mouth. “I don’t know.”

A thick moment of silence passed – you couldn’t bear it. “It’s too…” you had to take a deep breath as you felt a sob build in your chest. “It’s too painful to go through this again, Harry – this has been the hardest year of my life I can’t –”

You need to cut yourself off, shoulders shaking as you kept your eyes glued to the floor. “I should go.”

#<3 #pls let me know what u think and all as usual ! <33 #harry styles writing #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles smut #harry x reader

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mcwriting · 4 years ago

Text

just say I Do

I have been super active lately which is vv weird for me but this has been in my drafts all summer and I thought now was a good time to post it since wedding season is coming to a close :)

Ship: Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 2945

Warnings: alcohol mention; slight angst with happy ending

She was a walking red flag from the moment she refused to laugh at your jokes.

Sure that sounds like a stupid reason, but more little "quirks," as Tom liked to call them, made themselves present the more he talked about Alaina.

He had been one of your best friends for years, but now he refused to listen.

"She doesn't trust us to hang out anymore?" you had asked incredulously.

"No, no. She's just insecure with the idea of us being alone together. That's all," he tried to reassure you. "I want to prove that I'm trustworthy."

Insecure

Code for "I don't trust you at all but I'm gonna keep using you for my benefit."

She had no reason not to trust him. You'd been in the friendzone for years and neither of you would ever cross a boundary. He was the most trustworthy person you knew.

After a couple weeks of his blatant ignorance of each red flag, you decided saving him from this relationship could never happen. You'd just have to let him drown in it.

So, you kept your mouth shut and ears open every time you hung out as he dumped all of her problems onto you. She'd turned him into her personal therapist and now you'd become his.

Regardless of how much you'd tried to extend an olive branch to her, she denied it every time, continually trying to push you away from her and, subsequently, Tom.

After months of this, yours and Tom's friendship eventually phased itself out.

Years of memories left in the dust .

You were almost happy, though. No more emotional trauma dumps every time you hung out with Tom. No more unnecessary hostility from Alaina. No more hiding your long-standing feelings.

You'd actually tried to tell him how you felt months earlier, but that got squashed when the "big news" he needed to tell you was that he had met someone. That "someone" being Alaina, of course.

You'd finally decompressed from all of the Tom drama when life decided to ramp up again as Harrison popped the all-important question to your female best friend, Rebecca.

The day after his proposal, she'd asked you to be maid of honor and you were quickly thrown into helping plan a wedding.

So you did your job: dress shopping, party planning, and shower throwing.

One unfortunate happenstance was that Tom was Harrison's best man, meaning that you had to see him again, especially within the month before the ceremony.

However, as the month moved forward, you and Tom had reconnected, your friendship much more lighthearted than how you'd left it previously. While Tom still talked about Alaina on occasion, he was no longer dumping everything onto you.

She still showed up to certain things, like a wedding shower and some parties, but you were mostly able to avoid her hostility and focus on Rebecca and Harrison.

Finally, after months and months of planning, the rehearsal dinner came, and you were almost hoping they'd just sign the papers that night and call it a wedding.

You were in the bridal suite touching up your lipstick as Rebecca and Harrison talked with the minister when Alaina appeared behind you, arms crossed.

"What's your angle, y/l/n?"

You furrowed your brows but didn't turn around, continuing to carefully apply the liquid lip as you just looked at her reflection.

"I don't know what you're talking about, sister. I'm just here to watch my best friend get married tomorrow."

"Don't play dumb. I know you're trying to get between me and Tom," she huffed.

"I can guarantee that's not what's going on here. We're friends again. That's all."

"You've been trying to squeeze your way into our relationship ever since it started. Forcing Tom to hang out with you alone, always texting him..."

You screwed the lipstick shut and stood up, whipping around to interrupt her.

"I'm sorry, what? I never forced him to do anything. He and I actually started communicating less once you two got together. You know, I knew you were insecure but I didn't think it was this bad."

"Well you've still been trying to pry us apart, even after your little friendship hiatus."

"Honey, I'm the reason he even asked you to make it official. He was too scared of committing, but I told him to pull the trigger and make you his girlfriend. Now I get that you have family trauma and the whole thing with your parents but-"

When she cut you off you knew you'd made a mistake. She wasn't supposed to know what all Tom had told you.

"You know what about me?"

You took in a sharp breath, unsure how to answer. An awkward pause fell between you.

"Everything. I know almost every damn thing about you. You were using Tom as a therapist and he took it to me. And I'm sorry about everything that's happened to you but I was almost glad when you forced me out of his life for a little bit because it meant I could finally deal with my own problems for once."

She continued to stare at you, stunned.

I- everything?" she breathed. You nodded, somber. "Why would he do that?"

"Dude. We were best friends for years. Told each other everything. Always went to each other to talk through the deep stuff. He didn't really know how to handle the stuff you were telling him. I wouldn't blame him for wanting to tell someone."

"But you know all this... stuff about me!"

"And those things aren't what shaped my opinion of you! Sure, it gave me some insight into your personality, but you can't let that stuff define you. You aren't going to get any real help dumping it all on your boyfriend, either."

"What are you trying to say, y/n?"

"I'm saying that him telling me everything shouldn't be the real problem here. The problem is that the whole relationship is toxic. Break up or don't, but you both need help. Tom isn't your therapist and if that's all you want him for then he shouldn't be your boyfriend. You both deserve better."

Each of you sat in that statement for a moment. After all of the frustration and anger, you'd chosen to channel it into something constructive.

Alaina had a look of defeat. You'd expected anger from her after everything.

"Yeah. Maybe we do. I just can't believe I couldn't trust him with the most important things in my life. Maybe I shouldn't have been trying to keep you apart all this time. I really should've been getting you together."

"What? No, Alaina don't say that-"

"Do you know where Tom is?"

"Come on don't do this right now-"

"Y/n just tell me where he is."

"I- You were the last one with him as far as I know. You came in here after I did."

In silence, she nodded and exited, leaving you alone again with a pit in your stomach.

You quickly tried to straighten yourself out, taking one last look in the mirror before you walked out and faked a smile.

"Oh! There you are! We're gonna get started on the rehearsal now!" Rebecca said as she caught you in the hall. "Just head outside and if you see Tom, tell him to come, too."

You did see him as you headed that way. His lips were pressed into a tight grimace as Alaina quietly talked to him near the building's entrance.

His eyes caught yours briefly and you gestured your head towards the alter, tapping your wrist. He gave a small nod of recognition and Alaina turned to see you in the distance, giving you a sad grin.

Tom started to tell her that he needed to go rehearse when she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Bye, Tom. Keep in mind what I told you," she said, leaning up to press a kiss on his cheek before walking off to her car, leaving for good.

You could tell he trying not to seem sad as he followed not far behind you to join everyone else.

When Rebecca returned, she was excitedly telling everyone the plan for walking down the aisle, deciding to pair bridesmaids with groomsmen as there was an equal number.

The pit in your stomach grew when you realized that meant you and Tom would be paired together.

The pairs lined up, you and Tom having to be last. You knew it would take a while when the flower girls took forever to walk the aisle and the first male/female pair couldn't figure out their cue.

Your arm was looped in Tom's but you had never felt so apart from him. Both of you were stiff, trying not to move too much.

"Alaina dumped me," he finally whispered, leaning over to tell you, as your heels brought you close to his height.

Your head stayed forward as your gaze fell to the ground.

"I figured as much. I tried to talk her out of it but... you know."

"Yeah."

There was another heavy silence.

"I'm really sorry, Tom," you started, but he cut you off.

"Don't. We just need to focus on Becca and Haz," he bit back, stone-faced.

You wanted to say something more, but you were cut off by Rebecca telling you your cue and getting you to walk the aisle in sync.

You couldn't look at Tom the rest of the night and hardly touched your dinner as your thoughts ran wild of how to make things up to him.

You couldn't tell Rebecca what happened. This was her time to shine, and you figured if Tom were to tell Harrison anything, it would just be that they'd broken up.

A couple speeches were made about the happy couple and finally it was over, all of you nervously ready for the real ceremony tomorrow.

You breathed a sigh of relief when you made it out without talking to Tom again.

The next morning, things ramped up as the bridal party got ready while sipping mimosas. Everything felt frantic because you felt the need to supervise and take stress off the bride.

It didn't help that you were still stressing over Tom.

You went into the bathroom to catch your breath, trying to maintain a positive facade.

When you stepped out, you found Rebecca looking beautiful as ever in front of you, but you quickly recognized the look on her face.

"Lets go to the balcony real quick. I feel like we need to talk."

You followed her out, both of your robes flowing in a soft breeze as the sun shone down happily. She handed you another mimosa as she leaned over the railing.

"Harrison told me about Tom. Said it was a pretty big deal."

You groaned, trying not to facepalm over your freshly done makeup.

"Becca we shouldn't be talking about this right now. We need to focus on your wedding-" you started, reaching for the door handle.

"Y/n. I want to talk about this. And I hear you're supposed to listen to the bride on her wedding day," she chuckled. You rolled your eyes and smirked.

"Fine. Yeah, they broke up. And it's all my fault and Tom's probably pissed at me but whatever. It's fine."

"From what I hear he's not as mad as he probably should be. It's been a long time coming, you were just the catalyst. Just think how much longer it would've taken for them to pull their heads outta their asses without you."

"He's not mad?"

"Doesn't sound like it. I think you guys need to talk about it, though."

You sighed.

"We will, eventually. We both agreed yesterday that we just need to focus on you two right now."

"You know that's gonna be hard, right? I mean, you're both gonna be stuck together from pictures up until after the ceremony."

"Yeah, yeah. I promise I won't ruin your wedding. Can't speak for Tom, though," you joked, holding your glass up towards hers.

"I'll take your word for it," she replied, clinking her own glass against yours.

The bride and groom weren't ones for superstition, so you took wedding photos before the ceremony to maximize lighting and time with the guests later.

You didn't talk to Tom at all, but neither of you could keep from making quick eye contact between shots.

Finally the time had came for guests to begin arriving and the big moment to actually come.

After some last minute touch ups, the wedding party greeted guests as the countdown began. Once things were in place, you all went back into the building to line up, ready to start.

Again, you and Tom were linked together, waiting in bated breath.

"Alaina told me something yesterday before she left," Tom whispered.

You hummed in response.

"Yeah. Said I never really loved her."

"What makes her think that?" you asked, trying to pay attention to those ahead of you in line as music started playing outside.

"She told me I probably loved you," he replied casually.

Your eyes widened as you turned to look at him in shock. Again you wanted to reply but Tom tugged your arm and started stepping forward.

"Oh, looks like it's our time to shine."

Your heart was beating out of your chest as you walked down the aisle, seeing familiar faces as a blush rose to your cheeks before you both separated at the alter, leaving an empty spot between you and Harrison.

You pretty much forgot all of the nervousness when you watched your beautiful best friend come down the aisle with her dad. Harrison was tearing up and you were fighting back your own.

The ceremony began and throughout it, you and Tom continued to look past the couple and steal glances of each other.

When the vows finally came, you actually were crying, pulling a hidden tissue from your bouquet to dab your eyes as you watched with a watery grin. They had written their own vows.

You still couldn't help but watch Tom, though, as the two professed their love in front of everyone.

When they finished, the minister was given the rings and the most important part came.

"Now, Harrison, do you take Rebecca to be your wife? Will you love and cherish her for the rest of your days?"

The groom said I do, but you could only see Tom mouthing the same words to you.

When Rebecca was asked the same thing, you couldn't help but mouth the same words, too.

With that came a kiss and the declaration of marriage, with each couple again pairing off to run down the aisle.

You didn't have time to talk to Tom though, as you were whisked away with the bridal party to have a glass of celebratory wine before dinner as you waited to enter the reception.

That dinner again went on without a hitch, with both you and Tom making pre-written speeches about the couple before the first dance.

Once the DJ turned up the music, everyone was out on the dance floor having a good time when he slowed it down again for couples to dance to.

You were prepared to walk off when a hand caught your arm.

It was Tom.

"Dance with me," he beckoned, and you couldn't bring yourself to say no.

You slow danced in silence, trying to figure out what to say as he twirled you around.

"So..." you started.

"Don't feel bad about Alaina," he immediately replied.

"But I'm the reason you broke up."

"No, I am. You were right that neither of us were handling things correctly. I should have never told you her personal business behind her back. I'm sorry for doing that to you, too."

You gave a lopsided grin.

"It's okay. I get why you did. I'm probably the best person you could've gone to anyways. I'm guessing you also apologized to her?"

"Yeah. I did last night but then I called her this morning and we talked it out. We should've broken up a long time ago. I wish I had listened to you back then."

You raised your brows.

"So you actually remember all the stuff I pointed out?"

"Just because I ignored it doesn't mean I didn't hear it. I was just too stupid and puppy-blind to see how much you actually cared."

You hummed as you wrapped both hands around his neck, stepping a little closer. He rubbed your back as he went to speak again.

"She was right, too. You are the one I really love. I meant it when I said 'I do.'"

"So I didn't just imagine that?"

"Just as much as I imagined you replying," he smirked. You smiled and bit your lip.

"I never wanted you to find out this way. I wanted to tell you the day you told me about her."

"It's probably for the best."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" You were confused at what he meant.

"Because now everyone we know can see firsthand that you're the one I love," he answered.

You were about to ask what that meant when he tipped up your chin, pressing a soft kiss to your lips as the song ended. When you pulled away people were moving around so that Rebecca could throw the bouquet.

"You know what?" she announced. "I think I just need to do this."

Everyone watched as she marched over and handed you the bouquet directly, causing cheers to ring out around you.

"Now you just gotta say I do!" she exclaimed.

You looked up at Tom and he smiled down at you.

"I did."

A/N: okay half of me hates this bc I can't imagine how obnoxious this would be if it happened in real life but also it's kinda 🥺

Lemme know how you feel! Wedding szn had me in my feels again this year so I couldn't resist. If you liked this I'd suggest checking out the objection because it's also got angsty wedding vibes oop

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@jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @justafangirlduh, @hollandswife

#just say I Do #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland story #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland au #harrison osterfield #tom holland x oc

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loki--fics · 4 years ago

Text

Stardust - Part 7

Loki x Reader

content warnings: cancer / illness mentions

author's note: i'm sorry about the hiatus! here's the update you've been waiting for, i hope you like it! ♡

"Don't worry," The agent said, a malicious smile on his face. His eyes were cold, boring into yours with an intensity that shook you to your core. "This will only hurt a bit."

He lied. The serum he injected you with felt like hot lava pouring through your veins, and you pulled hard against your restraints as you screamed. "Stop!" You wailed, tears flowing down your cheeks. "Please, make it stop.."

"We need to understand how you got your powers, don't you see?" He asked. "You're going to be a part of the next great step in mankind's evolution."

You sobbed. "I was born with them, I've always had them please, I'll do anything, just stop torturing me."

He grinned, his cruel features contorting in satisfaction as he spoke. "Anything, you say?"

"Yes, I'll do anything. Whatever you want, just please, I can't take it anymore!" You shouted.

Grabbing your chin, the agent forced you to look into his cold, calculating eyes. "What I want is to continue to search for the source of your power."

He picked up another needle, shoving it into the IV drip and emptying it while you screamed.

"Y/N! Wake up!"

Flailing, you felt someone grab your forearms and you yelped, shying away. "Please, no more," You begged.

"Look at me," The voice said, and you opened your eyes, seeing Loki staring at you in concern. "What happened?"

You took a shuddering breath as you tried to calm down, feeling the wetness of tears on your cheeks. "It was just a bad dream," You mumbled.

Loki eyed you, understanding and sorrow evident on his face. "It wasn't just a dream, was it? It was a memory." As you nodded, Loki released your arms. "Do you wish to talk about it? You have no obligation to-"

"I was taken by HYDRA, upon the discovery of my... Well, supernatural abilities," You said, interrupting him. "I've had them for as long as I can remember, I was born with them."

He realised that, in all the time he's known you, he had yet to ask what your abilities were. "What are they?"

You sighed. "I have a connection to the elements. I don't control them, but they come to me when I summon them, as long as I don't try to abuse them."

"Can you show me?" Loki asked, curiosity piqued.

You blushed, but nodded, holding out your hand. "Air, please come to me." You watched Loki's eyes grow wide as a soft breeze surrounded the two of you, brushing against your skin and lifting your hair in a mini-whirlwind. A ball of air swirled in your palm as Loki stared.

"Fire, please come to me," You continued, and suddenly the air around you was filled with the rich, woody scent of a roaring fire, and your skin grew warm. Fire replaced air in your palm.

"Water, please come to me." The warmth was replaced by a coolness, and the smell shifted to a clean, salty scent, water washing over the fire in your palm. Loki could only stare, eyes wide as the sensations washed over him.

You watched him subtly as you continued. "Earth, please come to me." A rock formed in your palm, and the air was filled with the smell of freshly cut grass and wheat, the feeling of a soft meadow beneath you.

"Last, but certainly not least, spirit. Please come to me."

Feeling his own chest leap, Loki gasped. The ball in your palm turned a shimmering shade of lavender, and it was as though the two of you were surrounded by the elements.

"Incredible," Loki murmured softly. With a flick of your wrist, a breath of warm air caressed his cheek.

"I know what you're doing," You said softly. "Thank you."

Loki nodded. While he wanted to hear your story, he was aware that you should share that when you were of good mind to do so, not when the memories had been so freshly pushed to the forefront of your mind where you believed them to be real again. "You're welcome."

"Air, Fire, Water, Earth, and Spirit, thank you. You may depart," You said softly. As the elements departed, you both felt the loss, like saying goodbye to a friend.

"But more than that, Loki, I really wanted to thank you for being my friend these last few weeks," You continued.

With a start, Loki's eyes snapped to yours. "What did you just say?" He asked. Surely he had misheard-

"Thank you for being my friend," You repeated.

"I am your friend?" He asked.

You chuckled. "Of course you are. Am I yours?"

"You are my only," He replied softly, and your heart broke for him. "Without ill intention or ulterior motive."

"Well, I know things were a bit shaky at the start, but I've felt more like myself around you than I have since I was diagnosed. Considering what's going on with my brain, it's-"

"Your brain?" Loki interrupted. "What do you mean?"

You mentally curse yourself. How could you have been so foolish? "You cannot say a word to anyone, especially not Tony. Promise me, please."

Loki had never made a promise in his life. But for you, he found himself doing so. "I promise I will say nothing."

Sighing, you told Loki the truth. "I have a new tumour, on my brain. My cancer spread."

Even though he did not wholly understand your cancer, he did understand that this was serious. "Why have you not told anyone?" He asked.

"Because then I won't get even a moment's peace," You said. "The team is going to be up my arse day and night."

"I can see how that would be frustrating," Loki teased, and you suddenly remembered how they had been doing the same to him. "Is there nothing that can be done?"

"No," You replied. "Like the tumours on my lungs, it's inoperable. They're hopeful that treatment will help."

Loki's chest felt tight. He didn't like this, he was getting too close. How could he have let this happen? He was a God, he would live for centuries after you passed, even if you weren't ill and besides that, you were kind, gentle, and pure. Too good for the likes of him.

Without a word, Loki got up and left. You watched his back as he walked away, wondering if you had said or done something to upset him. The couch was cold without him, and you wished you had thought before you spoke. What a stupid slip up! You scolded yourself. Why did you have to say that? Now he's upset.

With a sigh, you gathered your blankets and walked to your room, not wanting to deal with anyone right now. You sincerely hoped that Loki would keep his promise, the mere thought of Tony finding out causing anxiety to fill your chest. He won't find out, he can't, You thought.

Pacing his room, Loki ran a frustrated hand through his hair. What were you thinking? He asked himself. Letting the girl close, you should know better than that! You are not Thor, you do not consort with mortals! You know that it only brings pain when they inevitably die.

He couldn't help the way his chest tightened knowing that your cancer had spread, it meant you were dying more quickly. Especially to your brain, Loki knew that you didn't stand a chance. How much longer did you have? Months? Maybe a couple of years?

You knew this, He thought. Mortals are fragile, weak creatures. They grow old, they get sick, they die. He made up his mind to stay away from you, but it was much easier said than done. You had called him your friend, without malicious intent, something he had not heard in quite some time. You had thanked him for it, something he had not even realised he'd done. How could he ignore you now?

As you sat in your room, doodling in your notebook, all you could think about was Loki. It was wrong of you to burden him, You thought. You should have lied. You thought back to that first day you had seen him in the library.

"Did you truly believe you could lie to me, the God of Mischief?" He'd asked. "I basically invented lying."

You smiled at the memory. No, you couldn't have lied to him, nor did you want to. You had always been open with Loki, more so than anyone else at the tower, even Thor. He had been your best friend, yes, but you felt a kind of soul connection with his brother. While you cared for him, you realised that Loki truly understood you in ways that Thor could not begin to.

Not wanting to lose that, you scribbled a note on a spare sheet of paper, folding it and taking it to Loki's bedroom, sliding it under the door.

Loki watched the paper glide across the floor, picking it up with his long, slender fingers.

~ Loki,

I'm sorry if I've upset you in any way. Please, let me know if there is anything I can do to make it up to you.

Yours, Y/N ~

"I truly am an asshole," He muttered.

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jimalim · 3 years ago

Photo

Leatin Fic Rec Friday! #21

Well, well, well, I’m sad to say it, but this is the final fic rec Friday post for the foreseeable future. At the time I’m drafting this post (a couple weeks before it’ll post) I have officially caught up on the fics in the ao3 tag! I think now is the best time to take a little hiatus from this project so I can let the new stories build up! It has been so nice getting to revisit all these wonderful stories over the past 5 months! I hope yall found some gems you really enjoy. You can always go back and reread these stories, here’s the masterpost with all the previous weeks links. Thanks so much for reading along! Until next time!

I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long by CaptainGay

Words: 5,424 Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Mature Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Favorite Tag: the angst is literally just Leah overthinking things Summary: Prompt: Leah planning to tell fatin she likes her at some post-island party, she is so nervous she gets absolutely wasted and nothing quite goes to plan but they ending kissing somehow anyway!(Rated M for excessive use of the swear word “fuck” and for underage drinking) What I personally love about this fic: It’s sooooo soft!!! I love Fatin talking care of Leah! The way she didn’t want Leah to regret doing anything while drunk, love that respect! A very fun read!

will you hold out your arms and catch me? by JourEtNuit

Words: 10,771 Chapters: 3/3 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Favorite Tag: in the span of a weekend because the devil works hard but teenage girls work harder Summary: “Fatin, I found you something to do this weekend,” Fatin’s mother tells her one evening, popping her head through the open door of her bedroom. “There’s a family in the neighborhood who needs someone to stay with their daughter, from Friday evening to Sunday. The Rilkes. I volunteered you.”Naturally, Fatin assumes it’s another babysitting job. And, yes, the name does sound familiar, a faint tickle somewhere in Fatin’s brain, but she’s not really paying attention, eyes on her Instagram feed, and so she replies, in a surly tone she knows is going to make her mom roll her eyes: “Fine. Whatever. Text me the address.”-Or, there’s a bit of a misunderstanding, and now Fatin and Leah are stuck spending the whole weekend together, even though they’ve never talked at school, have nothing in common, and clearly don’t get along. It should be a total disaster, right? But sometimes, as Fatin and Leah find out, people surprise you in the best way. What I personally love about this fic: The premise is so much fun! I am obsessed with the idea of Fatin having to babysit Leah! It’s such a silly plot, but so entertaining! The jokes they have about it are fantastic! Very cute moments as well! I love how close they get so quickly!

Against the Panic by tisiclem

Words: 1,632 Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Favorite Tag: NO BETA WE DIE LIKE JEANNETTE Summary: Her hands are cold and shaking, and yet they obey her and grab her phone, turning it on and scrolling through her contacts, finding one number, the only one that can help her make sense of her mind, of her world, of anything and everything, anytime, if the line would please, please, please pick up, pick up, please, she needs to hear that voice, for one second, that’s all she needs, that’s all, one second, one goddamn—“Leah?” “Fatin.” It’s more rasp than voice. “Fatin.”~Leah knows it’s all over, but her mind refuses to believe it. Fatin helps. What I personally love about this fic: It feels very real, Leah’s anxiety manifests in this talking back and forth and it feels accurate. I really love Fatin’s response to Leah wanting to return the favor of helping her when she needs to freak out. It’s a sweet admission that is so vulnerable!

Annnnnndddd since this is the last rec list for a while, I will take a quick second here to plug my ao3 account (I have 28 leatin fics at the time I write this and am very close to finishing number 29) Thanks again for following along! I’m very excited to see what comes next!

#leatin #the wilds #leah rilke #fatin jadmani #fatin x leah #fic rec

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quickspinner · 4 years ago

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Lukanette petty 👀👀👀 you have so many ideas!! I'm so impressed!!

To be fair these have been accumulating for more than a year at this point. I do have a lot of random things pop into my head though so you can see why I have to set some aside (or infect others with them--nothing is sweeter to my eyes than someone in the discord going DAMMIT QUICK).

Anyway, I think I wrote this one while I was working on Killer Combo and thinking about Luka’s ex in the band. I also take great joy in the HC that Luka is secretly petty. Not one to really get upset over things, but that doesn’t mean he forgets, and if he has an opportunity to take revenge in a small way, he absolutely will.

Anyway, the idea is pretty fully encapsulated here, but I thought, if I wanted to publish it and get it to be something I was really happy with, I’d have to spend a lot more time on the buildup instead of just summarizing, so that we’re a bit more in the moment with the characters by the time we get to this place. I don’t really feel like it works all that well as it is, and I didn’t have enough motivation to go back and fix it with so many other things I was trying to work on, so I shelved it.

No one would ever accuse Marinette Dupain-Cheng of having good timing. She was always just a little bit off, and it had never stung more than in her relationship with Luka. The phrase ‘two ships passing in the night’ came to mind, except they were more like two drunken skippers doing erratic circles in a pond in the dark, and never quite managing to meet up. Just as she got over her crush, he found a new one, and broke up with her about a month after Marinette had started dating someone new. Somehow their friendship had survived it all, those buried feelings resurfacing for one or the other at all the wrong moments.

And now here they were, both single, and still not able to find the right time. Luka was coming off of a bad breakup with a girl who had left him for a bandmate—without bothering to tell him until she’d been sleeping with said bandmate for nearly a month.

Luka had been hurt badly, though he was oddly philosophical about the whole thing. He told Marinette once that it wasn’t losing her as a person that hurt, because clearly the person he thought she was was just a fantasy, or she’d never have done something like that. It was having his trust broken by both a friend and a lover that really hurt him.

Marinette, who’d been single for some time, after a string of boyfriends who weren’t bad but who just weren’t quite right either, had been quietly devastated when he said he was taking a break from dating for a while. A break which, he made subtly clear, included her. Despite knowing he was right, it took the added knowledge that Luka believed very strongly in honoring others’ choices to keep Marinete from throwing a very immature tantrum at her bad luck. She closed her mouth and smiled the best she could, doubting very much she was fooling him.

Finally they were joking around one day, slightly buzzed on beer and hot wings, being egged on by his sister and her friends, and things were said, and somehow it ended in an agreement, only half-joking, that Luka would forgo his relationship hiatus and date her if she could convince him to kiss her in the next week.

And despite the joking tone, Marinette had done her best.

Now the week was nearing its close, and Marinette found Luka sitting on the steps outside of a party, a nearly-full beer bottle dangling from his fingers.

“Hey,” she said, sitting next to him.

“Hi,” Luka said, setting the bottle on the step next to him.

“Sick of the party?” she asked sympathetically.

“Sick of a lot of things,” he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Marinette pulled his hands away and smoothed his locks down with her own. “Marinette,” he sighed, as she was distracted by the sight of something behind him—or rather someone walking up the sidewalk in a tight dress, no cheating band member friend in sight. “Look, you know I usually don’t mind this whole game but I’m really not in the mood tonight.” Marinette refocused on him, and realized her hands were on his face, her thumb caressing his cheek absently, and let them slide away as an idea formed in her mind.

“I’ll tell you what,” she said. “If it doesn’t work this time, I’ll stop trying.” She slid closer to him on the step and looked up at him tilting her head to let her hair fall just so and fluttering her lashes teasingly. He raised his eyebrows slightly, but couldn’t help a grin at her silliness.

“Okay,” he sighed, “Give it your best shot.”

“Okay.” Marinette leaned up into his space. “Then I have just a couple things to say and if you still don’t want to kiss me, I’ll leave you alone.”

“I’m listening,” he murmured, and the softness in his eyes was encouraging.

“First, I really, really want to kiss you,” Marinette said, watching him swallow as his eyes drop to her mouth at the words. “And second,” she purred, leaning even closer to whisper, “Your ex is watching.”

His head twitched like he wanted to turn and look, but Marinette knew he wouldn’t. Luka was a chill, mature guy, but there was a lot about him that not many people knew. There was a lot about him that people seemed unwilling to believe because it didn’t fit into their idea of the person he was, no matter how much evidence they were presented with.

But Marinette had known Luka for a long time, had loved him for a long time, and this was something she knew with absolute certainty.

Luka Couffaine was petty.

Given her choice, Marinette wouldn’t have used that against him. She’d rather have had their first kiss untainted by any thought of that woman, but desperate times called for desperate measures and…let’s be honest, she was more than willing to dole out a little payback herself.

So when Luka tilted his head and kissed her, she didn’t quibble, just put her arms around his neck and buried her hands in his hair, parting her lips and letting him take his revenge in whatever way he saw fit.

Marinette certainly wasn’t complaining.

“Is she still there?” Luka panted against her lips.

“Yep,” Marinette giggled, rubbing her nose against his. “And the look on her face is priceless.”

Luka whined slightly. “God I wish I could see it.”

“Whatever makes you happy,” Marinette grinned, sliding into his lap and tugging his face to hers for a soft kiss. When she released him, he was looking right at his ex beyond her ear. Marinette tilted her head invitingly and Luka lowered his mouth to her neck, muffling his laugh against her skin.

“I think she’s turning purple,” he murmured, and then nipped her skin. “You don’t play fair, Marinette, but I can’t even be mad about it. How about dinner tomorrow?”

“Deal,” Marinette said breathlessly, gasping as he began to suck at her pulse. “It’s a date.”

“She’s coming,” Luka murmured, and nearly ruined everything by laughing as Marinette let out a loud, indecent moan while a pair of heels clomped loudly up the step next to them. “You’re the best,” Luka managed, lifting his face to kiss her on the mouth again.

“She’s gone,” Marinette reminded him.

“Does that mean I have to stop?” Luka asked, nibbling on her lower lip.

“Do you...want to stop?” Marinette asked, pulling back to look at him.

“No, not really,” he sighed. “I still don’t think this is the healthiest start for a relationship, but...I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long, I really don’t want to stop.”

“Okay,” Marinette said, a grin spreading across her face. “Then you don’t have to stop, as long as I don’t have to stop either.”

“Deal,” Luka agreed, and their mouths crashed together.

Scratchpad WIPs request list

#wip wednesday #reader request snippet #lukanette #luka couffaine #marinette dupain-cheng

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joel-millerr · 4 years ago

Text

Kijimi

Chapter One of We Are One When Together (formerly A Mandalorian and a Smuggler)

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 8.5K

Warnings: Reader cauterizes a wound, so read with caution if that makes you uncomfortable

Summary: You've become quite a good spice smuggler. You always managed to evade capture, and now the New Republic is getting desperate. After meeting a friend on Kijimi, you planned to get the hell off that planet quietly, but you've never had to deal with someone like The Mandalorian. // This chapter establishes the reader and is more of an introduction than plot driven tbh

A/N: I’ve never written a second person POV before so pls be gentle. Also, this story takes place after Chapter 12.

You're sitting in a booth at the back of the cantina. Periodically, you take the time to scan your surroundings. There’s a steady flow of individuals coming in and out, therefore it’s hard to keep track of everyone, but you try to monitor their movements anyway. Being in such a crowded area is risky right now, but when Tye asked you to meet him on Kijimi, you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to catch up. Besides, you’re currently on a work hiatus, and now seemed like the perfect time to get back into the spice smuggling game.

It’s not that you wouldn’t have been able to do anything else. You’re quite skillful with your hands because you used to help your father fix ships back on Tatooine. Theoretically, you could have kept doing that for the rest of your days, but there was always a part of you deep down that made you believe you were meant for more important things. Granted, this isn’t exactly what you had in mind, but it is considerably more exhilarating than just cleaning and fixing ships.

It was Tye who first mentioned this “job”. You were busy fixing a T-14 hyperdrive generator that had been destroyed during a dumb gambling game of chicken. Why people would purposely charge at each other in space, you’ll never understand.

Anyway, he knew you were starting to get tired of the same routine every day. He could see it in the way your shoulders slumped while you were working, and how your voice grew tired of talking about re-wiring, and the maintenance of spaceships.

Ever since you were a child, your father had taken you with him to work and you loved it. You loved being able to spend time with your father and also learn the ins and outs of any spaceship. You could probably take a whole ship apart and put it back together in less than a week, but ever since your parents died, the work became mundane and repetitive. You no longer enjoyed doing the work. You did it just to get by.

“It’s a fairly easy job,” He started to say. You were sitting with your legs crossed, hyperdrive in your lap, rewiring the chunk of metal. “We meet the manufacturer on Kijmi and then come back to Tatooine and bring it to the client.”

“I don’t know, Tye,” You craved adventure, but your friend had a bad habit of getting into trouble. Unlike you, he didn’t have a steady job. Instead, he took whatever was offered to him, no matter how legit it was. You were usually the voice of reason and tried your best to get him on a straight path, but his spirit always craved danger, and while you fantasized about going on epic adventures, you tried to keep it on the legal sides of things.

Tye laid a hand on your shoulder, and in turn you looked up at him. His eyes were gentle, inviting and trusting. More often than not, you attempted your best to avoid his gaze whenever he tried to reel you into something because you knew as soon as you’d look at him, your walls would come crumbling down and whatever he asked you to do would get done. You crossed your left arm over your torso, placed your hand over his, and let a deep breath escape your lips.

“What are we transporting?” You asked, rising to your feet to look at him properly.

He hesitated to answer. Biting down on his bottom lip, his eyes broke contact and shifted down to his feet.

“Tye?” You inquired, leaning down to try to catch his eyes again.

“Uh…” His hand began rubbing the nape of his neck. You came to the conclusion by his behavior that this job wasn’t going to be something along the lines of transporting pieces of scrap metal and he knew you very rarely took on an illegal job. You had done maybe one or two over the years but if you could avoid it, you tried to keep your employment on the side that wouldn’t get your ass thrown in a cell.

“What’s the transport, Tye?” Your voice was more stern this time. This seemed to snap his mind back into reality and he finally met your eyes.

“Spice,” His voice was barely above a whisper and if you weren’t entirely focusing on his tone, you wouldn’t have heard him at all. Your muscles went rigid and you swallowed the lump in your throat you didn’t know was there. Once the empire fell, the New Republic had the impossible task of trying to keep the peace as well as police the entire galaxy, and wherever they were unable to properly govern, spice runners thrived. You had heard stories about spice runners. How every single one was a highly wanted criminal but were almost impossible to find. They worked quietly and discreetly and were able to smuggle spice on pretty much every corner of the galaxy.

“It’s foolproof. They supply the ship and give the location. All we have to do is meet the supplier on Kijimi and then bring the product back here. It’s simple enough,”

You began shaking your head immediately. The risk of getting caught was too high, and spice running was a hard limit for you.

“No, I can’t. What you’re asking is insane, Tye. Spice running?” You emphasized the last two words to make sure you heard him clearly.

“I wouldn’t have offered it to you unless I was absolutely sure nothing bad would happen.” Tye reached out and gently pressed his palm to your elbow, begging you to hear him out. “I can see you don’t love doing this anymore. Ever since your parents passed, I could see the passion disappear. It’s completely drained out of you. We do this one job and then you can go back to fixing hyperdrives in this kriffing hangar.” He waved his arms around the store. “Don’t you want to see what else is out there?”

You opened your mouth to protest but the words never came. He was right. Since you were a child, you dreamed of leaving Tatooine. You were tired of the sand, of the heat, of the kriffing dryness that was always eating at your skin. You dreamed of worlds where lush green ran rampant. Trees that grew so high you couldn’t make out the top. Grass that would tickle your hips as you travelled through it. Clean, fresh oxygen instead of the dry, dirty air you had grown accustomed to here. You had heard stories from travelers whose ships you’d fix about waterfalls, lakes, beaches. A large body of water? All these things you couldn’t even fathom. How beautiful must it be to live on a planet where water wasn’t fucking scarce. What did an actual shower feel like? Not some sonic shower that merely got you sterile enough to do about your daily business, but an actual shower, with water.

So yeah, you wanted to get the fuck off of Tatooine, but was this really the only option you had?

Tye could sense your apprehensiveness, but he knew the idea was tempting. Closing the gap between you, he wrapped his arms around your body. He was much larger than you, and you almost disappeared in his embrace. Taking a deep breath in his chest, you let yourself imagine a better life.

A life where you got to visit new worlds, encounter people from different walks of life, an existence where you truly got to experience the greatest things the galaxy had to offer. As a child, you’d lie in your cot and wish for an extraordinary life. One you could recount to your kids with awe, not wasting your years away on a desert planet that no longer had anything to give you. When your family passed away, you worked yourself to the bone, trying to lose yourself in repairing ships. You wished someone; anyone, would help you escape off this godforsaken wasteland one day.

You’d regret not taking the risk, you thought to yourself.

Before you knew the words had slipped from your lips, you were agreeing to the job.

You’ve been a spice runner ever since, and you were pretty damn good at your job too. Since your frame was relatively small, it was easy for you to slip in and out of towns without ever being seen, and because you had been working on crafts your whole life, you had become pretty good at flying them too. You had made an impressive name for yourself. Even if you had someone on your tail, you were always able to lose them once you left the port. Your movements were sharp as a tack and was always thinking one step ahead. It enabled you to outrun any hunter or whatever sad, inexperienced New Republic officer that tried to snag you. When you first joined, all your runs were with Tye, but soon after getting accustomed to how runs operated, you were able to go solo. After realizing how much quicker the job went by without having to rely on another person, you became a strict lone wolf. On your own, you could take higher risks, and that made the thrill of the job even more exhilarating. You had become quite the adrenaline junkie, taking some chances even your fellow smugglers would find questionable.

On one job, you were purposely sloppy and let some officers tail you right up to the moment you fought them off in your ship just because of the way the blood in your veins fired through your body. The threat of being caught ignited every nerve-ending in your body, and you constantly chased that feeling.

You were staying on a quiet, uneventful planet when you had gotten a hologram from Tye asking to meet you on Kijimi. “For old time’s sake” he said. Since you had no other run lined up, you figured it was a good time to meet him. It had been a couple months since you last saw him, and now seemed like the perfect time to catch up. Maybe he had a job in mind, too.

The life of a spice runner typically wasn’t very long. It was a physically exhausting profession, and often times a spice runner would get captured by either a bounty hunter or an officer of the New Republic, or die at the hands of a rival smuggler. You knew your days as a runner was limited, so you made sure to have the time of your life while you had the opportunity.

Lately though, a lot of your peers were getting caught by some highly skilled hunter. Whoever it was had managed to trap four of your closest counterparts and you were on high alert. No one had ever been able to snatch that many smugglers in such a short period of time, and your particular crew was starting to get anxious. The runs were beginning to get more sporadic, and spending more time underground, only going out when absolutely necessary, hence the reason you were camping out on lightly populated planet. Technically, you shouldn’t even be in this cantina right now. You should be laying low, waiting for the right moment to jump back into action, but because you now have a taste for the wilder things in life, you take the chance anyway. Plus, if Tye is still walking around then it couldn’t be that bad. He had become a lot more cautious than you, so you’re not all that worried.

You continue to keep your head down, only peering up whenever you hear the door opening. From the corner of your eye, you catch the glimpse of a dark maroon shape coming through the door. Tye. He preferred to wear dark colors, as not to draw any attention to himself. Tonight, he’s wearing a dark maroon jumpsuit, a long-ranged rifle strapped around his back. You—on the other hand, believed hiding in plain sight. You tended to wear neutral, earthy colors. It permitted you to blend in with your surroundings. Every run, you’d switch your uniform according to the conditions of the planet. White for cold environments, dark clothes for desolate, bleak planets, and so on.

He stands in the doorway of the cantina, taking a scan of the bar. He knows you usually like to sit in the back so that you have eyes on everyone that comes and goes, and it doesn’t take long for him to spot you. He walks over to your booth with a kind of swagger you’ve grown to love about him. He’s a pretty confident man, without being cocky. The way he carries himself has always fascinated you. His shoulders are always back, arms swaying at his sides, never looking down. He takes long strides as he saunters over to where you’re sitting. As you both have grown, he also has become a pretty well-respected member of your crew and he exudes that in his every step.

You scoot out of your booth to meet him as he gets closer to your table. Big toothy smiles are exchanged between the two of you and he just about runs to close the space between you. His large arms quickly pull you to his chest and all the air nearly punches right out of your lungs. He actually lifts you a couple inches off the ground in your embrace.

“Tye! I have a reputation over here. You can’t just pick me up like that,” However, you’re unable to hide the joy in your tone. You’ve missed him more than you realized. Yeah, you prefer doing jobs alone, but sometimes the solitude can get the best of you. Having someone to banter with, play sabacc with—you miss it, but you both have very different ways of transporting the product, so you know the days of you working together are long gone.

Tye finally lets you down and you both slide into the booth, sitting opposite of each other. You still have a clear view of the door.

“You couldn’t have picked a better shithole to meet?” You remark.

It’s not that Kijimi was a total shithole, it’s just that it was the biggest shithole of a planet you could ever set foot on. The weather was brutal, the people even more so. The New Republic wasn’t able to control the crime here, so criminal activity ran rampant here. Luckily, the main interest in the city was spice smuggling so you had the respect of most of the local spice lords, but there was always the threat of some travelers who couldn’t care less who you were or how important you were to come after you; to kill without mercy and take your corpse to the New Republic. Therefore, you tried to limit your visits unless they were absolutely necessary.

“I figured since we haven’t been together on Kijimi in a while, it might be worth the visit,” Tye answers honestly. Lifting a hand to the bartender behind the bar, they rushed over holding an empty cup in one hand a jug of bright blue liquid in the other. They place the jug between the both of you. Tye reaches into his pockets and places come credits on the table, giving the tender a small nod before they excuse themselves, grabbing the credits and stuffing them in a small bag that was tied to their waist.

“How nostalgic of you,” You mock, lighthearted enough for it to make him chuckle.

Despite trying to keep your mind focused on Tye, part of you is still observing the door behind him. In the short time you’ve been smuggling, not only had your reputation amongst other smugglers grown, but so had the price on your head. The last few jobs had been particularly difficult. Not only were you trying to fight off New Republic officers, but several bounty hunters had been tracking you. Apparently, you had become a huge pain in the ass. Unfortunately for them, that just made the game way more interesting, and honestly it really fueled your ego.

“Any news on the next run?” You inquire. It had been a few weeks since you last had a contract, and the itch for adventure was starting to get under your skin.

Tye’s eyebrows furrow. He looks at you quizzically. “I didn’t ask you to meet you to tell you about another run. I just wanted to see my best friend.”

“Oh come on. There’s always another job. Always someone who needs spice and someone who wants to get rid of it.”

He looks at you like he doesn’t know you. Leaning back in his seat, he begins shaking his head in disbelief.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You can feel beads of anger building deep inside you. He was the one that got you into this, and now he has the audacity to look at you like he doesn’t know you?

“You’ve changed.”

You scoff and let out a laugh, a laugh that drips with irritation. “Of course I’ve changed, Tye. Did you really think I was going to stay the doe-eyed girl you met on Tatooine?”

Tye reaches over and pours spotchka in both cups before taking his and throwing his head back to swallow every bit of it. “No,” He begins to say, using the back of his tunic to wipe his mouth clean. “I think those two young kids who grew up on Tatooine are long gone.”

Your lips form into a firm line, not entirely sure how to respond without sounding too cynical.

“I’ve heard stories, you know.”

“Oh have you, now?” Your eyebrow raises, and elbows firmly plant on the tabletop. The joy seems to drain from his face. Smile disappearing, and his eyes begin wandering, looking everywhere but into yours. Curiosity is starting to get the best of you, your eyes squinting and burning into him. Testing to see how he reacts; you push him again. “And what have you heard, Tye?”

Green eyes still refusing to meet yours, he’s busy eyeing his fingers that are fidgeting on the piece of wood that separates you. “That you’re becoming too reckless,” His voice is steady, but much lower than his usual tone. “You’re taking too many risks and causing problems where there doesn’t have to be.”

Your hard expression scorches into him. He starts squirming in his seat. Back on Tatooine, it would have been the other way around: you succumbing to his will, but now you’re the one with authority.

“Look,” He says, leaning in towards you. “I’m not gonna sit here and tell you how to do the job. I know you’re good at it.” There’s regret in his voice. It hasn’t gone unnoticed how he looks at you occasionally, almost like he’s ashamed of what he’s done to you. If it wasn’t for that day, you wouldn’t have turned out the way you have. You think he wants to take it all back. Wishing that you stayed some nobody who lived their life fixing and repairing shit.

“But I’m told you have a high bounty on your head. Maybe it’s best if you continue to lay low for a while. Just until the heat cools down.”

You chew on your bottom lip, and your body relaxes into the booth behind you. Deep down you know he’s right. He just wants for you to be safe and admittedly, the way you’ve been acting lately is as if you think you’re invincible. You chase the thrill and the danger but it’s just making everyday life so much harder. Some merchants are too scared to sell to you, locals steer clear of you, and those who aren’t scared get too confident and try to pick fights with you. Despite your size, you’re able to carry your own surprisingly well during a fight. You don’t quite understand it yourself. Each time you’ve had to defend yourself, there was an energy you conjured that came from deep inside you that helped you manipulate your opponent. This energy allowed you to levitate objects or people in mid-air, assisted you to kill them without ever touching them, or even influence them to say and do what you wanted them to.

It was after a late night of sabacc. You were on your way back to your ship when three male figures blocked your path in a nearby alley. Three blasters pointed directly at you.

“Can’t let you pass, sweetheart.” One of them sneered.

Bounty hunters.

One hand slowly glided to the blaster strapped to your upper thigh, the other extending in front of you. “Okay, fellas. I’m sure we can make a deal here.”

“Don’t try that shit with us. You couldn’t possibly come close to the price the Republic is offering.” The man in the middle—a Twi’ you realize, warned.

“The bounty asks to bring you in alive, so let’s not compromise that, okay sweetheart?”

Adrenaline and wrath were starting to seep into your muscles. If there’s one thing you hated, it was chauvinistic men calling you ‘sweetheart’.

“Call me sweetheart again, and it’ll be the last thing you ever say.”

All three men’s cackle echoed through the stone walls.

“I’d hate to ruin a pretty hair on that head, but if you’re going to act like a little bitch then maybe—”

Cutting him off, one of their blasters wiggled out of their reach and smacked the first hunter right in the face before he could finish his threat, blood spraying from his mouth. Your blaster found its way into your hand, raising it to strike him straight in the chest. Simultaneously, your left hand targeted the second assailant’s throat, your hands violently gripping around the pressure of his neck. The hunter attempted to scream, his hands wrapping around his throat as your grip tightened. Fire consumed you, and as your grip on the man’s throat intensified, his body started to lift off the ground. The Twi’ eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets; horror plastered on his face.

“What the fuck are you?!” The Twi’s voice bellowed, spitting as he charged at you, a vibroblade in each hand. Your eyes shifted to him coming right at you with pure fury in his eyes.

“Come here, you little bitch!” He roared.

You let your hold of his partner relax slightly, then your arm swung to the right, forcing the hunter to lift completely off the ground. Once he became jelly in your grasp, you launch him towards the Twi. Both men slammed into the concrete wall next to them. You heard the sound of skull making contact with the cement, then watched them fall to the ground hard. The Twi cried out, “Please don’t!” but you blasted him right between the eyes before he could say anything else.

You stood there, chest heaving. Your eyes examined the men in front of you, not fully understanding how you were able to fight them off. You were outnumbered and they were much larger than you were. Holding out your hands, you stared down at your palms. Squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to focus on the power that expelled from your fingertips. Where did it come from? How do you control it? What was happening to you?

You had never felt such power before. For a moment, you were no longer in control of your movements. In that split second where you gave into that rage, it bended you to its will, driving you to do cause more harm than necessary. This voice inside of you wanted them to hurt, for them to suffer, and you couldn’t resist it.

Tye repeatedly calling you brings you back to the present. “You okay?”

Shaking your head, the corner of your mouth curls into a smile. “Fine.”

The rest of the evening is much more lighthearted. After the initial awkward tension between the two of you, you’re able to enjoy a couple drinks of spotchka and reminisce about old times. You’ve definitely missed his company. Tye is the closest thing you have to family and you cherish him deeply. Your energies mesh together so well, and you have to admit, sometimes you daydream about settling down together, living on a quiet planet and drinking spotchka for the rest of your days until you’re finally arrested. Those are quickly replaced by reality, because the reality is, it’s just not attainable anymore.

The cantina never empties, no matter what time of day it is, and given that there aren’t any windows, you have no clue as to what time it is anymore. You came in just as the sun was setting—what little sun is even offered on Kijimi. It’s easily been a couple hours since then, and you begin to feel the fatigue creeping up on you.

“Where are you staying?” You ask, stretching your arms and your back as much as you can in the booth.

“I have a place not too far from here. It’s tiny, but it’s not like I spend enough time on this planet to need anything bigger. You can stay with me for the night, if you want?”

“That’s okay,” You start to say, shaking your head. “I’m probably going to leave first thing in the morning anyway. I don’t like to linger.”

Tye’s head bobs a few times. “Sure. I have a couple things I need to take care of here before I can leave.”

You cock your head to the left. What could he possibly have to do? You don’t ask though. It’s a common thing for smugglers not to ask questions. Staying in the dark about your crew’s whereabouts and jobs make it easy not to catch too many folks in the same squad. It’s how smugglers have been able to evade capture. If one person is snatched in a team, it’s almost impossible to catch another because chances are, they have no idea what anyone else is up to.

“I should probably head back to my ship then,”

After announcing your leave, you both shimmy out of the booth and rise to your feet. Tye is the first to move into your body and wrap his biceps around your entire torso. Quickly, your arms find their way around his back and you allow yourself to sink into his body. You’ve missed the warmth of another person. For a second, you allow yourself to be vulnerable and really appreciate the physical intimacy. Tye’s the one who finally breaks the embrace, but he keeps you at arm’s length, both hands squeezing your shoulders. Yours drop at your sides and you can’t stop the grin that forms on your lips.

“Sometimes I can hardly believe we used to be a bunch of nobodies on Tatooine,” He says. Before you can come up with a snarky remark, he leans in and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Bye, kiddo.” Slapping some credits on the table, he turns on his heel and heads to the door. “You’re not even a year older!” You shout, and you’re not entirely sure he hears you given the amount of noise in the cantina, but you see his shoulders bounce, so you assume he heard you. You linger for a couple minutes, finishing off the remaining spotchka on the table. Once you’ve downed the final drop, you thank the bartender for their kind service, toss them some coins and head out the door.

It’s in the late hours when the cold Kijimi winds hit your face. The freezing air is a drastic change from the heat of the cantina and the cold immediately sends chills down your spine. Pulling your hood over your head, you cross your arms across your chest, trying to conserve a little bit of heat. The streets are dimly lit and dirty with mud and snow. It’s a long, dangerous trek back to your ship, so you keep your head down but still keeping an eye out for any potential mercenary or hunter who might want that pretty bounty on your head. Keeping your hand close to the blaster strapped to your thigh, you dart through stone made arches, and small huts. Instead of taking the straight route, you opt to zig-zag through the city, knowing it would be more difficult to track your footsteps this way. It takes more time, but you know this is the safer way to go.

The cold is starting to really get to you, now. Despite wearing gloves, the tips of your fingers are starting to go numb and you thank the Maker once you catch a glimpse of your ship not too far into the distance. You fight the urge to walk straight towards it, instead listening to your gut. You come to an alley, lit only by a small streetlight that’s flickering slowly.

“I can’t wait to get off this shithole of a planet,” You whisper to yourself.

Just as you turn the corner of the alley, you suddenly feel a presence behind you. The adrenaline pumps through your veins, causing your heart to pulse quicker than you’ve felt in a long time. Any sound person would be afraid, knowing they were in for a bout, but not you. No, you chase this feeling on your runs. This is when you thrive.

You stand tall, straightening your shoulders and slowly turn to where you assume the figure is behind you. At the end of the alley, you see the shape of a man—what you think is a man, anyway. The light bounces off the blob in front of you, and realize they’re covered almost head-to-toe in shiny armor. A droid?

“Can I help you?” You question. Your hand rests directly over your blaster, slowly flicking the safety off.

The mystery man/droid doesn’t say anything. He stands completely still, and for the first time in a long time, panic prods at you. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you take a deep breath, hoping it’ll calm the nerves in your stomach.

“Can I help you?” You say through gritted teeth.

Again, you hear nothing.

You stand your ground, refusing to run from the figure. You’ve never been one to run from a fight, and you’re not about to start now. “I’m going to give you one more chance to tell me who the hell you are before I blast you on your ass.” Your voice is stern, now becoming more annoyed with the fact that they haven’t said anything. What the hell is this thing’s problem?

The figured dressed in armor takes a small step forward and finally speaks. “I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold,” His voice comes out low, but is nothing short of terrifying.

You suddenly realize who stands fifteen feet in front of you. It’s him. The hunter who’s created quite the name for himself. The bounty hunter who almost every smuggler has grown to fear. The one who never lets a bounty get away.

The Mandalorian.

As much as you are terrified right now, you can’t help but let a little bit of pride consume you. For the New Republic to have him come after you, it means they’ve gotten desperate. It also means they see you as a threat, and that makes you feel good. So good in fact, that you accidentally let a chuckle escape you.

“How much are they paying you?”

No answer.

You know he’s going to blast you any moment, and you’re trying to buy yourself some time.

“Oh come on. If I’m gonna go down, I should at least know how much I’m worth, don’t you think?”

Your ship is a quick sprint away (if you go straight ahead) but you’re not stupid enough to do that. He’s probably none the wiser and thinks you would, so you have that advantage. Instead, you know running to your left is the safer option. Even though there’s no actual street to your left, you did notice a split in the foundation just big enough for your body to slide through and make it to the next adjacent path, but you’ll need to do it quick. You gauge your assailant’s body language. He’s standing with his legs shoulder-width apart and you think you see his hand resting on his blaster, but you can’t be sure. You do catch the shadow of a rifle strapped to his back, and you know that that armor looks expensive which means it’s probably beskar, which unfortunately for you is basically indestructible. No amount of blasts will penetrate that armor.

Thinking impulsively, you grab the blaster out of your holster and shoot the light, hoping he’ll struggle to find your shape in the dark and praying to the Maker that it’ll give you enough time to wiggle through the stone walls. You sprint for the wall and see blaster fire shoot passed your head. Fuck, he must have night-vision with that helmet.

You manage to squeeze through the crack and end up on the other side. Most likely he’d come by the right, so you avoid that side entirely. Breaking into a sprint, you run down the cobblestoned road. It’s horribly uneven and you trip a few times, but always manage to recover without actually falling. The air cuts at your face and makes it harder to breathe but you persevere. If you were to stop, even for a moment, you risk getting caught. Your mind is running a million miles a minute, trying not to look back but also trying to imagine the more tactical way to capture you. Before you can think of your next move, the door to a hut opens and someone seizes your left arm and pulls you into the house with such force, it almost feels like your arm was ripped right out of its socket. The door shuts behind you immediately but before you can make a sound, Tye’s hand comes to cover your mind.

“Shh,” he warns, pressing a finger from his free hand to his lips.

You nod and he releases the grip he had over your mouth.

Tye crouches near the window by the door, checking to see if the hunter is out there.

“I can’t see him,” He says, turning his gaze towards you. You move from the doorway and crouch next to him by the window. Both of you continue to scan the street, looking for any sign of the attacker.

After a few minutes of looking with no luck, you conclude that he’s lost you. You retreat from the window to examine the room. It’s tiny, the bed almost immediately to your left and you wonder how anyone could possibly sleep there. The door is just a few feet away and you can assume the cold penetrates the door easily enough. Sleeping there must be miserable. The only source of light emanates from a few candles scattered throughout the room.

“This is my place,” Tye explains before you can ask. “It’s not much but it’s better than sleeping in one of the taverns.” He passes you and lowers himself in an armchair, rubbing the palms of his hands against his face.

“How did you know?”

“Call it intuition.”

The adrenaline is slowly wearing off and now you feel an ache in your bicep. You look down and notice a section of your coat has been ripped right off. Then you notice blood, a lot of it.

“Maker!” Tye all but jumps right out of his seat and rushes to your side. Gently grabbing your elbow, he inspects your wound. It’s pretty deep and will need to be cauterized.

Realizing it at the same time, your eyes meet. “Just do it.” You whisper to break the silence.

“I can use bacta spray instead. It’ll hurt less,” He says, before turning towards the cupboards, rummaging through the shelves and tossing whatever he can find, on the ground. You carefully remove your coat without touching the gash on your arm.

“Bacta spray will hard to find at this hour,” Your voice is barely above a whisper. The pain is starting to disorient you, and you manage to sit down on the bed before collapsing. “Just do it, Tye.”

Your friend stops searching for the spray, and he’s quickly by your side again with a clean cloth. He begins wiping the blood away. It stings and you swear under your breath.

“If you think this hurts…” His voice trails off. Yeah, you both know cauterizing it will hurt even more.

Trying to lighten the tension, you force a laugh. “Don’t worry. I’m a big girl, I can handle it.”

It’s true. You’ve broken bones and you’ve been hit a lot worse. If you ever manage to successfully make a run without injuring yourself, it’s a miracle. This is nothing new.

Tye leaves your side to warm up his vibroblade on one of the candles nearby. Once the blade is steaming, he returns to you. He holds out the blade, and you take it from his hand. Releasing a deep breath, you hold the blade to your arm and press it into your flesh. It sizzles and smells awful. Tye squeezes his eyes shut, like he thinks it’ll stop the whole ordeal. You stifle down the scream that desperately tries to come to the surface, and groan instead. Pressing the blade to your skin in short bursts, the blood slowly stops spewing and the pain from the actual blast begins to subside. Once the sting begins to slow, you drop the blade on the ground. Tye’s eyebrows relax as he inspects your skin.

“You should still put some bacta spray on that, to avoid getting it infected.”

Nodding slowly, you let out another deep breath through your lips. “I have some on my ship. I’ll head out in the morning and hopefully get to it before metal man out there can get me.” You try to be lighthearted with a joke. Tye either doesn’t catch it or think it’s funny because he’s shaking his head at you. He meets your eyes and whispers your name. “Having a Mandalorian after you is serious business. Those guys don’t fuck around.”

You sit up straight and look at his defensively. “Yeah, I know Tye.”

“Do you? Because you’re still making jokes. Do you know that Mandalorians are like the best killers in the galaxy?”

That sends daggers through your entire body. You rise to your feet, slowly until you’re almost towering over him. “I’m well aware of their abilities, Tye.”

“Why do I get the feeling that this is just a giant ego boost for you?”

That you actually scoff at. “Kriff…” Taking a step away from him, your hands rest on your hips. “Am I a little proud that they had to get a Mandalorian to arrest me? Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to act reckless and change my tacti-“

“But you are reckless!” Tye pushes against his knees to stand eye level with you. “You always do this. This is why no one wants to work with you!”

Your eyes widen, mouth dropping. “I don’t want to work with anyone because they slow me down!”

Immediately, your friend’s shaking his head. “No, that’s not why. Everyone’s deemed you too dangerous to actually work with. It’s a miracle you haven’t been caught yet.”

You try to interject but Tye holds a hand up to stop you. “I’m not done. Yeah, you’re good at smuggling, probably one of the best, but at what cost? Where’s the girl that was gentle, kind? Where’s that girl who would fix ships with her dad and play in the sand dunes with me? That girl who nursed an injured womp rat back to health because you saw some stupid kids shoot at it? Where did my best friend go?”

The laugh that erupts in the room is anything but joyful. It’s resentful, it’s anger. Your best friend stands inches away from your face, insulting who you are. Who he essentially created.

“She grew up, Tye! My parents died and left me all alone on a planet that shouldn’t even exist. I had no choice. You think a ‘gentle, kind’ girl can survive in this galaxy?”

Tye’s fists ball up at his sides. “I miss that girl. Who you are now, it’s not who I remember. This job has tainted you.”

“Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you dragged me into this world five years ago!”

“Don’t do that…” His shoulders drop, his head hanging in defeat.

“I love you Tye, but I can take care of myself. I’m not scared of some Mandalorian. I’m not afraid of anything.” A lie, but you refuse to look weak.

“I know…” He admits, his head still looking at the ground. “That’s the problem.”

A few moments pass in silence. Neither of you try to break the apprehension in the air. You can sense that Tye’s been waiting a long time to admit that. That he doesn’t like what you’ve become, and maybe he’s right. Maybe you do act impulsively, maybe you do put yourself at risk unnecessarily just to fill this void inside of you. A void that’s been eating at you since you were a child, but it’s not something you want to hear right now, or maybe ever.

“I’m heading to my ship.” Grabbing your coat off the cot, you slip into it, groaning as the material slides against your sensitive flesh.

That appears to snap Tye out of his thoughts because he looks right into your eyes.

“Please don’t. He’s probably still out there.”

“Well it’s like you said,” Usually, your voice is soft. You’ve never spoken to Tye with such anger before, but something inside of you now sees him in a different light. You resent him. “I’m too reckless.” You growl.

Tye mouth is agape and it almost looks like tears are forming in the corners of his eyes. He takes a step back like he’s been stabbed, which I guess is true. Your tone said it all.

You both realize at the same time that this is probably the last time you’ll see each other.

Turning on your heel, you head towards the door. “Take care, Tye.” You say over your shoulder before pressing the button to open the entrance. It lifts off the ground and you step out, not even looking at your surroundings before throwing the hood back over your head and heading straight for your ship.

If you want me, come get me, Mandalorian.

You’re not careful about the walk to the ship. You’re not careful passing corners or getting to the port. You’re behaving stupidly on purpose. You want to fight him; you want to prove to everyone and yourself that not even a Mandalorian can catch you. It’s extremely naïve but your blood’s boiling and its currently clouding your judgement. You spot your ship and march towards it, without a damn care in the world. Clicking the button on your bracelet, the ramp opens, and you begin to walk towards the slope. Once your foot touches the metal, you catch a glimpse of something shiny at the very top of the ramp. A sly smile creeps on your lips.

“You know, it’s rude to hijack someone’s ship.” You peer up at him.

The Mandalorian’s tense, with his hand hovering over the blaster strapped to his right thigh. Legs once again spread shoulder width apart, he oozes authority. The metal—beskar, glistening against the moonlight. You fight the submissiveness that begins to creep up on you. You refuse to show him weakness. If you’re gonna get caught, you’re gonna make sure you put up a fight.

Your strides up the ramp get smaller and smaller. Adrenaline fully pumping now through your entire body. You wonder how close he’ll let you get to him before blasting you right off your feet.

“I do have to admit, getting caught by a mandalorian is pretty admirable.” You taunt.

His hand gets closer to the blaster and you think this is your moment. Just as he rips the blaster from its holster and fires at you, your right hand comes up, catching the blast mid-air and deflecting it. It hits one of the cargo boxes and explodes. Before he can fire another shot, the blaster is ripped right out of his hand and goes flying into your palm. As soon as you get both blasters in your hands, a grappling line exits his vambrace and wraps tightly around your ankles, causing you to slightly lose your balance. He pulls hard on the rope and it sends you flying backwards. Your head hits the metal hard, and for a second your vision begins to fog. You blink repeatedly, trying to get your damn vision to clear, but before you can even begin to push yourself to the ground, the Mandalorian is hovering over your body. One leg on each side of your thighs, he leans down and grasps both your wrists with one hand and straps some binds around them. You give it one last ditch effort and try to kick up at him, but his reflexes are surprisingly quick and catches your calf with his free hand.

“Maybe if you stayed with your friend, you might’ve gotten away without me catching you.” He says through the helmet. The baritone of his voice immediately causes your breathing to hitch. Your heart is pounding in your chest and heat begins to form in your stomach.

“Then again,” He begins to say, pulling you to your feet. “because you’re so careless, I’d find you again.”

In any other circumstance, you’d have a sly comment, but right now you can’t even remember how to speak. Once on your feet, you notice just how big he actually is. Sure, the armor might add to his demeanor, but you can’t help but be intimidated now. He towers over you, and you have to strain your neck just to look at him. You try to see his eyes through the ‘T’ of his visor, but it’s too tinted. He loops his forearm around your bound arms and guides you down the ramp.

“I can walk on my own, you know?”

The Mandalorian doesn’t answer. He simply continues to drag you whichever way he wants. As you make your way to his ship, your heart is still hammering in your chest. The way he carries himself, you’ve never seen anything like it. He’s definitely intense, but nothing short of fucking mesmerizing. Most of the hunters you’ve encountered were cruel and mouthy. But the Mandalorian? He barely spoke to you; he didn’t let his any emotion come through. You can outtalk any hunter, but you couldn’t do that with him. He was one step ahead of you, which you have to admit has never happened before.

Once you reach what you assume is his ship, you can’t help but be taken aback by it.

“Whoa, is that a pre-Empire ship? I didn’t think those things still existed.”

He says nothing, as per usual. In the very short time you’ve known the Mandalorian, you noticed he’s a man of few words.

You’ve spent your whole life around ships, but you’ve never seen one quite like this. It’s pretty dated and looks in pretty shit condition, honestly. Several panels are completely dented, and whatever isn’t dented is scratched up badly. You can tell it’s been in a good number of shootouts. It’s a miracle this ship is still operational.

He presses a button on his vambrace, and the ramp opens up, creaking as it lowers to the ground. The Mandalorian lets go of the grip he had on you, and gently pushes you in front of him, instructing you to walk ahead of him. You head up the ship, turning back to look over your shoulder one more time. In that moment, reality hits you. You’ve been caught. You’re going to live the rest of your days in a cell. Actually, with your reputation, you’d be lucky if you get a cell. The New Republic will probably have you sentenced to death. While you didn’t expect to live to an old age, you didn’t think you’d die this young, but it comes with the job description. Everyone’s gonna get it sooner or later, and unfortunately for you, it seems like the former.

You take notice of the three other quarries in carbonite to your right. Heating beating so fast, you’re sure it’ll burst out of your chest, you start babbling.

“Please don’t put me in carbonite,” You plead, turning around to face your captor. He’s already closed the ramp and is busy removing the rifle off his back, placing it back on the wall of the ship. “You already have me in binds, I can’t go anywhere. I won’t cause any more trouble. Just please, no carbonite.”

At first, he doesn’t bother to look at you. He lingers there for a few seconds, probably arguing with himself on the best way to handle you. Your eyes burn into his helmet, praying to the Maker that he’ll give into you. You’re chewing down on your bottom lip so hard, you’re sure you’ll break skin. Eventually, he turns to face you and begins a slow, tantalizing walk towards you. Panic overwhelms you, and you begin to shake your head frantically. Since when did you become such a submissive? Under any other circumstance, you’d be throwing insults, trying to get under his skin, manipulating words in an effort to aggravate them. You might even try to manipulate him into doing what you ask but your brain is shut off. You can barely form a coherent thought. Therefore, you resort to begging and pleading with the Mandalorian.

You can’t stop your body from trembling, and as he reaches to grab your wrist, you shudder at his touch. You swear his glove is on fire because how the hell is it possible that his touch burns into your skin? You keep your head down, not having the strength to meet his visor. You’re crumbling under him, letting him take absolute control of you.

“Up,” is all he says, as he gestures you to the ladder that goes up to the cockpit. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you nod and let him guide you to the ladder. It’s hard to climb with your hands bound but you do your best.

Once you reach the top, you wait for him to catch up. Putting a hand on your lower back, your breathing hitches when he touches you. His hand nearly cover your entire waist and you can’t help but imagine that thick hand wrapped around your throat.

Maker this shouldn’t be turning you on. He captured you.

He guides you into the seat that’s to the right of the pilot, and then sits himself in the pilot’s seat. He begins the take-off sequence, and the ship’s thrusters roar to life. As the ship lifts off the ground, it creaks and makes you shift in your seat. You take one last look at Kijimi as his ship climbs higher and higher into the air, realizing that for the first time ever, you lost.

#the mandalorian x reader #mando x reader #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian #din djarin #Star Wars #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #mando x you #we are one when together #fics

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tooyoungngolden · 5 years ago

Text

Prompt:

Imagine person A lightly tracing “I love you” over and over again on person B’s back, assuming that person B is asleep. When person A is lying on the back, getting ready to sleep, person B moves closer and wraps their arms around person A, whispering softly “I love you too,”.

Bonus if it’s the first time that person A has ever declared their love for person B.

Nearly 3.4K words!

—————

Being best friends with some one like Harry Styles means that there are some things that you don’t do as a person. Constantly being around Harry Styles means there are definitely some things you don’t do. Ever.

There are little things, like make a fool out of him in public, play fighting where you’d leave marks- which half the time they do- posting things online, going out when they shouldn’t, pretty much anything. Then there are the slightly larger things which were clearly outline for Y/N when she and Harry had first became friends. Big things like, no holding is hand, or kissing. They weren’t aloud to mess around with each other or get together as a couple. One thing that Harry’s management team had made very clear to her was that she wasn’t aloud to fall in love with him. She didn’t have a clue if they gave the same warning to Harry.

That clearly didn’t work for her.

Harry and Y/N had known each other from when they were teenagers. They’d met a little while after Harry had auditioned for the X-Factor. She’d done the same thing, but had gotten through where as Harry had to be brought back with the other boys. They’d met, an instant connection had occurred and they were best friends. They grew together for the period of time that they were together, getting to know each other as well as Harry’s other band members. She loved ever single one of them. When she was eliminated from the competition she stayed, of course she was upset. She wanted to win, wanted the opportunity to work with record labels and actually go somewhere with her music career- and she did, she was signed not long after she left- but she hadn’t one. But she stayed. She stayed for Harry and the other boys, watching them as they very quickly climbed to the top and won over every person in the audience.

When they hadn’t won it broke Y/N’s heart, they were the best. They were the group of people that she though deserved to win. She wanted them to win. And in a sense they did win, they got the ‘deal’ of a lifetime, they’d produce and write and sing as much as they wanted. They got to tour the world and do something that they loved. Y/N was doing the same thing of course, she just wasn’t as famous as the boy band that the world came to know and love as One Direction. She was there though, writing her own music, producing and releasing things that she and her fans loved. She got what she wanted, and she also got the friendship of a lifetime to go along with it.

With One Direction touring all over the world Y/N didn’t get to see her best friend as much as she wanted to. And whenever they had a small period of time where they weren’t busy, Y/N was. Their timelines never seemed to match, they were touring or writing, they’d get a break and then Y/N was touring or writing and then she’d get a break and the boys were already back to working again. They’d see each other though, even if it was for small periods of time, they always, always made time for each other. As much as they possibly could.

And then 2015 happened. Zayn left the band and everything went to absolute shit. Harry was a little less Harry. He was still her Harry but he wasn’t as happy as he once was. So she took a break, she stopped writing and working all the time. She stopped spending so much time away from him. She finished her tour and took time off. She went to see Harry, she stayed with him. All of the time. She toured with the rest boys while they were still working, helping where she could, making things a little better than it was.

And then a year later the boys took a break, a ‘small hiatus’ they called it. 18 months of doing nothing. She got her best friend back for 18 months and it was absolutely heaven. They spent so much time together, at his house, at hers. They spent weeks doing nothing. And then days where’s they went in road trips, they had fun. They went on holiday and spent 3 weeks in Spain where they both worked on their solo work, Y/N had never been as proud as Harry as she was in those movements.

And then the boys decided that they didn’t want to come back, they decided that they wanted to stay apart for a little while longer. They were all working on their own music and were enjoy it way to much to stop. So they stayed apart, the other boys doing what they wanted to do and Harry do what he wanted, each of them being signed to different labels and getting new management. He finished writing his first album, he’s first solo album. His. That he’d written by himself, it was all his music. And he couldn’t believe it.

So he released his first album. He finally let the world hear the music that he’d been working on for the better part of a year- and they loved it as much as he did. Pretty soon after he released his first album he was back to touring, going places that he hadn’t visited in a long time, revisiting memories that included both the boys and his Y/N.

They went back to seeing each other on their breaks, they’d get time off and they’d spend it with each other. Harry was touring the world and Y/N was working on her second album, always making sure that Harry was the first person that heard any of her music, and he did the exact same.

Harry’s first solo world tour was finished, he been and don’t everything he needed to. He’d done the interviews and the shows, done all of the extras and finalised all of the recording that he needed to. And he was off again. Not working for him was sometimes something he loved, he loved not having to work, racking his brain for things to do however was less fun. Harry had pretty much started working on his second album as soon as he had finished the first one. As soon as the words on the pages were finished and the songs were recorded he was writing again, getting more words down in pages that he could make into something more.

When Harry had told Y/N about his ideas for the second album, her heart swelled. She’s never thought that she would get to where she is now. Never thought that she would have the kind of fame that she did now. She would have never had thought that she would get to share that with someone, someone that actually understood where she was coming from. Someone like Harry.

She’d never been as proud of the both of them in that moment when he told her about the songs, the names. Everything. She’d never been filled with so much love in her whole life.

Lights up was the first thing he released from the album. The second first thing he’d done by himself. It was the first thing that the world saw of Fine Line. It was the first thing that Y/N had seen of the album as well. Harry had shown her the songs, they always did that with each other. But she never heard the notes, never heard the lyrics sung. Until she did. And she fell in love with him a little bit more every time she listened to the song.

Song after song was released after that. The world quickly falling in love with the album as much as she did. The whole thing was released in December, and it was kinda like the Christmas present she never knew she wanted.

Fast forward a few months and here they are. Harry was doing interviews and going to meetings and loving every second of it. His second album was loved by everyone. He’d never been filled with so much pride. And neither had Y/N for him. They were spending more time together before they both had to leave for their tours and it was weeks before they saw each other again.

——————

“Come on, Harry!” Y/N groans, moving so that she was laying back on his bed. She honestly didn’t want to move anymore than was absolutely necessary. She lifted her head slightly, looking over at where Harry was standing by the unit on the other side of the room, moving something around.

“I just wanna go to bed,” she whined, trying to get Harry to join her where she was wrapped in his duvet. They’d been out all day and her body ached. All she wanted was a cuddle off her best friend as she drifted off into what could quite possibly be the best sleeps of her life. But Harry was getting in the damn bed.

“I’m nearly done,” he mumbles back, still facing the counter not bothering to face Y/N. He wanted to climb in next to her, wanted to wrap his arms around her and honest never let go. But that was illogical. She didn’t want him that way and he’s been doing a pretty good job of actually hiding how he felt for as long as he could remember. Harry sighs, finally finished on the laptop he closes it down, pushing it back so it wasn’t near the edge, he turns to face the bed. Watching Y/N as she stared at the ceiling.

“I can feel you staring at me H,” she smirked, lifting her head back up to look him in the eyes. A quick and not so subtle flush rushes across his cheeks. He looks down, shuffling over to the bed, he reaches out. Pulling the duvet up so that he could slide in next to her. It wasn’t the first time that they’d shared a bed, it probably wouldn’t be the last if he was being honest.

“Stop…” he groaned back. Moving down the bed he lifted his arm so that Y/N could slide across the bed and snuggle down into his side, her head resting gently on his chest.

Harry sighs, body finally relaxing as he lies next to Y/N. He’s always relaxed when he’s around her. Always confident and happy. She’s everything to him. Even if she wasn’t aware.

Y/N settles down, moving so that her head was pressed against Harry chest. Her ear pressed right up against his skin, she’s fully able to hear his heart beat, loud and clear. Even through the T-shirt she listens, loving the warm body and the sound of life beneath her.

Harry had comes to rest against her back, gently running his fingers along the skin her body shivers in response to the caress.

“Sorry love,” he whispers, moving his head down to rest his chin on top of her head. Y/N shakes her head back to him, pulling his fingers away in responce to her body.

“Don’t stop,” her body shivers again as Harry pulls his fingers away, “feels good,”

Harry laughs, his body gently shaking as the sound works it way past his lips. The laugh causes his chest to vibrate, Y/N’s head moving alongside the movements- her own laugh slips past her lips, it developing into a small sigh had Harry starts running his fingers back across her back.

Harry starts tracing small patterns on her skin. He starts with small shapes, a circle, square, some random squiggles before he moves into actually tracing words. He starts with lyrics from his favourite songs, and then some from hers. Once he’s pretty sure that she seconds away from falling asleep he starts tracing the words ‘I love you’ into her skin. He’s definitely not brave enough to do that when she’s aware of what he’s doing.

She however, is fully aware, she’s sleepy. She’ll admit that, openly admit the fact that she’s tired. But she didn’t want to miss what Harry was doing. Didn’t want to miss the shivers that danced along her spine whenever Harry’s fingers brushed a particularly sensitive spot. Didn’t want to miss the flush that filled her whole body.

She’s aware when Harry stops making shapes, she can feel when he stops making random marks and goes onto making specific letters. She doesn’t quite get it when he’s writing out the lyrics, he moves a little too fast for her to figure out the shapes. She definitely gets it when he moves into writing out ‘I love you’. It takes her a minute, she tires to guess the letters that he’s writing out before she traces his fingers in her mind, her heart begins racing as soon as she figures out what he’s writing.

She doesn’t move. She waits, wanting to see what Harry will do. She wants him to say something to her, she needs him to say something to her. Going by the small sigh that works it way out of Harry she doubts that he’s going to be confessing any time soon. She feels him gently stop the movements on her back, his hand just resting there.

Her minds as mess, her thoughts completely racing. She wants to say something to him. She wants Harry to know more than anything in the whole entire world that she loves him too. She wants everything that he could possibly offer her, she wants him. Just him.

Harry sighs again, he’s chest rising and falling with the noise. Y/N makes her mind up in that moment. Knows that she wants him, knows that she wants him to know she wants him.

Y/N moves her body, turning so that she can face Harry, his arms tense around her and his whole body tenses under where she’s laying.

She looks up at him, his eyes are closed, clenched shut as he brings his bottom lip into his mouth and bites down on the skin. She knows he’s awake, she knows that he knows, she knows what he was doing. Knows that she can tell what he was writing.

She moves further up the bed, pulling out of Harry’s arms so that the could wrap her arms around him. Bringing one hand up to his face she pulls his bottom lip out from between his teeth, running her thumb across the skin to soothe the ache that she’s pretty sure he’s feeling.

She looks at him, his eyes are now open. Staring at her as she gazes at his face. She doesn’t know how she’s supposed to tell him, doesn’t know how to work those three little words into a casual sentence. So she doesn’t go for casual, she goes outright.

“I love you too,” she confesses, moving her eyes up so that she’s looking Harry in the face instead of looking down at his lips.

Harry’s eyes widen slightly, his mouth opening slightly as he listens to the words that have just spilled out of his best friends mouth. That have just fallen from the mouth of the woman that he’s been in love with.

“I love you,” Y/N repeats, her voice absolutely not trembling as she says the words for a second time. Harry doesn’t say anything back to her, his hands are at the back of her back, clenched in the top that she’s wearing.

She looks at Harry, her nerves becoming a little more noticeable as Harry doesn’t respond to her. Y/N doesn’t have a clue what to do? She doesn’t know how to make him say anything back.

“Harry?” She questions, her voice shaking.

He nods, looking at her. Still not saying anything.

“Are you going to say something?” She tries again.

She gets another nod. Slower this time, Harry opens his mouth, trying to actually get words to come and and talk and reply back to the love of his life.

“You don’t have to say it back,” Y/N starts, trying to take the words back now that Harry hadn’t said anything back to her, tears prick at her eyes as she continues, “I just thought that because you were tracing it on my back, it doesn’t matter. I didn’t mean anything, I’ll just…”

“I love you,” Harry cuts into the middle of her rant, stopping her from continuing on with what she was saying, stopping her for taking back words he’s waiting so long to hear come out of her mouth.

Harry grins, it’s not the first time that they’ve said I love you to each other. They’ve been best friends for over 10 years, they’ve seen each other at the worsts and at their bests. This however, is the first time they’ve confessed it in a situation like this. Cuddled together in bed, body heavy with sleep as Harry traces the words into the skin of her back. That part was new.

Y/N looks at him, her eyes still filling with tears- this time for a completely different reason that the first time they pricked at her eyes.

Harry sees that her eyes were getting watery and tenses, he hates when she’s upset, hates it even more when he’s the one that made her feel that way.

“Oh no. No, no, no, no,” Harry repeats, moving to sit up in the bed, pulling Y/N with him so that she was straddling his lap, her arms moving up that they’re wrapped around his shoulders,

“Please don’t cry love. I didn’t mean to upset you, I really didn’t,” he starts, it’s Y/N’s turn to into cut Harry off before he can finish his sentence,

“Didn’t,” she starts, moving her head back from where it was resting in the crook of Harry’s neck, out into space where Harry can clearly see her face. Her eyes red and a smile stretched across her lips, “I’m jus’ so happy right now H,” she lifts her hand up, moving to rest it against Harry’s cheek.

Harry smiles back at her, stretching up so that his forehead was resting against Y/N’s, he looks down at her. Her eyes already connecting with his as soon as he moves his head.

“Can I kiss you?” He questions, eyes not leaving hers.

Y/N nods back at him, moving her head back so that she’s move comfortable. Harry moves his head down, eyes locking with Y/N’s as his lips connect with her. Their eyes slip closed as compete and utter bliss fills both of the minds and bodies. Harry deepens the kiss, bringing his own hands up so that they grip and Y/N cheeks, keeping her in place and he pours everything into their first kiss.

Y/N pulls away first, panting she grins at him. Her mind and heart are racing a million miles a minute and she cannot for the life of her string together a full sentence. So she sets for grinning at him, bringing her moth back down so that their lips connect again. Her initiating their second kiss.

Her heart flutters in her chest as they pull away again, both of their cheeks are flushed and their eyes are completely glazed, pupils blown wide as they stare down at each other. Harry’s the one that speaks up first, repeating the words that got them to where they are now.

“I love you,” he whispers to her, pecking her lips gently as they look at each other.

Y/N smiles, her heart as full as it could possibly be in this moment.

“I love you too,” she kisses him back, mumbling a quite “more than you’ll ever know,” against his lips.

Harry grins at her. His own heart seconds away from bursting out of his chest.

This is everything that he’s ever wanted. Everything that he’d been dreaming about for years.

And they were finally getting it. They were finally getting each other. Forever. Or as long as they wanted each other. And for both of them- that was forever.

———————

Another fluffy one!! I love writing these ones, they make my heart a little happier each time I write something like this!

Let me know what you think! I love hearing from you guys and support and feedback is always appreciated and wanted! I love it when you guys answer!

Request something! I need some new things to write and really want you guys to ask! My requests are always open to pretty much anything that you want!

Be nice and treat people with kindness!

Love, Dari🌻

Ps. Pls pls pls request something. I need new ideas

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samwrights · 5 years ago

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Upside Down

Hi guys~ so awhile back, I was asked if I would ever continue Spider’s Web in which Iwa and Oiks just kind of distance themselves from the reader because they love each other more. So, here’s my rather lackluster attempt at writing angst lmao. I’ve been in a weird place for awhile and this has really been the only “request” that spoke to me while I’ve been on hiatus.

This particular piece was entirely inspired by Upside Down by The Story So Far so if you need some ear candy while you read this, I’d reccommend that.

Warnings: alcohol consumption/implied alcoholism, sad (?)

Word Count: ~1k

The problem with a spider’s web is that no matter how much work the creature put into threading and weaving and bobbing their trap to sustain life, it could easily be broken with a force stronger than it. That was how you viewed your relationship with Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tōru after spending years together, slowly and carefully threading the web. But given their solid foundation of a friendship, it shouldn’t have ever come to a surprise to you that they would eventually pull closer together and drift away from you.

Now the three of you were twenty four years old, still sharing that same apartment from your university days as you sit by your lonesome at the small dining table with your umpteenth beer bottle in hand. You stared at the front door, waiting for your boyfriends to return home from a night out together, without you, again. Initially, they said they were doing their little guys’ night routine—a tradition they had procured after graduating university to make sure they kept contact with Hanamaki and Matsukawa. Not that you minded, but once a month turned into every other week into every weekend, leaving you alone on these nights.

They’d come home laughing every time, splotches of red painting their cheeks and parts of their neck from apparent alcohol consumption. At first, you’d started falling asleep on the couch, waiting for their return dutifully only to have them both head straight to bed without you. Eventually, it felt that doing so had become a chore and you’d decided to have your own pity party complete with you draining a twelve-pack by yourself. Sometimes, you’d aimlessly scroll through your social media timelines, other times you would flip through real estate websites, praying to a god you didn’t believe in to help you find something more, while wondering if you could afford to escape before the impending expiration on yours, Oikawa’s, and Iwaizumi’s relationship. Regardless of the side activity, you made it a point to kill the case of beer and then some until you could no longer tell the ceiling from the floor.

Today was different though.

You’d sifted through potential places up for rent for months, spending your days off inspecting the place with a realtor unbeknownst to your boyfriends. Could you even call them that anymore? No, probably not. You knew you had to cut the leash now—you couldn’t stay here anymore. Iwaizumi and Oikawa, whether they realized it or not, were a genuine couple now. A couple that didn’t involve their third, and you can’t help but wonder how and when the love that had started off with you and Iwaizumi had gotten lost in the undertow. But as you wonder, you realize there was never a place for you to begin with. It had always been Oikawa and Iwaizumi, long before you entered the picture.

The thought felt like warm resin flooding your lungs, attempting to mold around the organs to capture the aching agony in your chest. No matter the pain, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate them. For the last seven years, you had nothing but love for these men. But nothing could change the truth in reality—the quiet front that seeped into the air when the three of you were home or the fact that you were merely floating in their little world. As if the three of you could no longer talk to each other. As if the three of you were no longer in love with each other. As if they no longer loved you; the thought alone makes your head swirl. It was wild to remember that, at some point, the three of you were in love with each other once.

A foolish dream birthing baggage in the form you’d be forced to carry for the rest of your life, never to put it back down. The only thing you could put down was your body on the plush of the couch, feeling the fatigue from the alcohol overrun your veins as you closed your eyes for the last time in the shared apartment of you, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi.

They didn’t know it was coming until you’d loaded up your little old SUV with the minimal amount of belongings you had tucked away into moving boxes. “W-wait, you’re leaving?” Iwaizumi stutters out as you surrender your house keys the following morning. The ace’s body runs cold, colder than any treatment he had ever given you because he knows what you’re really saying. He knows that the eight year run he had with you was now officially in the graveyard and he swears up and down he never meant to hurt you.

“I think I’ve overstayed my welcome long enough, Iwaizumi.” You sound so formal, both in tone and wording and the way you call your high school sweetheart by such a formal name.

“Is this really what you want?” Oikawa asks, surprisingly more held together than his counterpart in this moment.

“No,” you admit quietly, barely loud enough for either of them to hear you, “but I can’t handle this anymore, Oikawa.” The setter nods in solemn understanding, wrapping his arms tightly around you because, before anything else, Oikawa was once of your best friends.

You knew you had to do this—having to say goodbye. There was no more room for you to shoulder on anymore, and you’d had a nice run with them while it lasted. But the web of spider can only remain for so long until it breaks under pressure, until the spider has to once again set a trap to sustain life. You supposed that was all you could do now as your climbed into the driver’s side of your vehicle, severing this web for good.

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shadys · 4 years ago

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When you’ve lost the love of life

Fandom: Glee

Pairing: Seblaine (Sebastian/Blaine)

Summary: Kurt regretted many things in his life, but there was only one thing in his life that he truly regretted with all his life. He had broken up with Blaine. And there was nothing he could do about it since Blaine and Sebastian are now married. To think that it all started a year ago.

Notes: Hello! I pulled some scenes from season 6. All rights go to glee. Thank you for reading!

Warnings: None :)

Kurt regretted many things in his life, but there was only one thing in his life that he truly regretted with all his life. He had broken up with Blaine. And there was nothing he could do about it since Blaine and Sebastian are now married. To think that it all started a year ago.

Kurt was sitting in the chair, waiting for Blaine to come. He was watching a movie that was showing on the screen. That was until he heard a voice, "Hi, I hope that I didn't keep you waiting for too long."

Kurt spun to see who it was. Blaine. He looked amazing, as always. "H-hi. Uh, no I just got here too."

They both hugged quickly and sat down on the table. They sat there in silence for a couple of seconds, until Kurt spoke up again, "Thank you for coming here to see me. I understood if you told me to screw off."

"No, no, it's fine. I wanted to come and see you," Blaine replied.

Kurt was surprised, he didn't really expect that answer. So he decided to blurt it out since that was the reason who was here.

"Well, uh, I'm here to get you back. Sorry for blurting that out, I figured that I'd just be clear with you. First I'm going to get your forgiveness, then I am going to win your heart back," Kurt said with uttermost confidence.

Blaine looked in shock for a few moments. But he managed to speak out slowly, "U-uh, Kurt, I-i'm seeing someone. "

Now it was Kurt's turn to look shocked. "O-oh?"

"Ya, a-and I wanted to tell you in person since you already know him," Blaine replied.

Kurt didn't really know what to say. He was hoping that it wasn't Sebastian Smythe, the meerkat. He just kept his thoughts to himself. Just when he was about to say something though, he heard a new voice coming from behind him.

"Hey, killer."

Kurt mentally groaned inside after turning around to see who the voice belonged to. Sebastian Smythe. He walked over and kissed Blaine, then took a seat. Sebastian grew a bit, looking more mature. College must've done well on him. Yet he still carried that meerkat smirk.

"Oh, hey Kurt. I didn't notice you," Sebastian smirked.

"Good to know," Kurt mumbled back.

"Huh?"

"I was saying how nice it is to meet you," Kurt sarcastically replied, while glaring at Sebastian.

Kurt tried really hard not to cry at that moment, so he just acted cool about everything and gave a tight smile to Sebastian.

"I know that this isn't really what you expected, and it might be a bit weird for you since we all have a little history," Blaine started off to cut off all the glaring.

Kurt couldn't believe his eyes. Blaine and Sebastian, dating! That little criminal chipmunk finally got Blaine. "Oh boy, I think I am going to be sick," Kurt thought to himself, but he decided to speak up.

"N-no it's fine Blaine. Totally not weird at all. So how did you guys meet up?" Kurt tried to assure Blaine and himself.

"Well, we actually met at Lima Bean, a couple of months before."

"Oh?"

Sebastian cut in, "It was really crazy. I was sitting at Lima, checking out this guy. But all of a sudden, I'm like 'Wait a second, I know that hair.' "

Blaine laughed, "Ya. And then he came over and we talked, mostly about you. It was just me talking on and on about the break-up. You know I was really angry about what happened. But luckily Sebastian was a good listener."

"It was just like old times," Sebastian added.

Kurt just sat there, nodding with a smile on a face. But inside Kurt wanted to run out of here as fast as he could. Honestly, Kurt thought this was too much.

Blaine noticed a flicker of sadness on Kurt's face, "I know this isn't what you wanted, but I hope that we can all be adults about it."

"Ya, ya of course. If you'll excuse me, I need to use the bathroom," Kurt answered.

Kurt immediately sped walked to the bathroom, only looking back once, to see Blaine and Sebastian kiss one more time, looking happy. He ran to one of the stalls and cried his heart out. He wasn't happy with what he happened, but he was still determined to win the love of his life back.

A week later, Kurt was helping out Brittany with her engagement gift. She was using Mounds Bars to represent the minutes Santana and she had spent. Apparently, Mounds Bars were the “lesbians of candies”.

Kurt decided to apologize for his behavior back in the glee club. “I’m sorry for interrupting your proposal. I have a firm belief that people shouldn’t get married until they’re 30,” Kurt started off, but then continued on to say, “I believe in you and Santana. You remind me of Blaine and me.”

“Except for the fact that Santana and I are still together,” Brittany pointed out.

“Well, I just believe that Blaine and I are on a hiatus,” Kurt contradicted.

“And I like to believe that Lord Tubbngton isn’t videotaping me in secret while I’m in the shower and selling it on Craigslist. It doesn’t make it true,” Brittany shrugs.

They stood there in awkward silence for a second. That was until Brittany decided to say it, “Okay, look I hate to be the one saying this, but uh, Blaine’s moving in with Sebastian.”

Kurt looked in shock, clearly not expecting that.

Brittany continued on, “I was helping them decorate yesterday. You need to start getting over him and start to see someone else. I am pretty sure there is someone in this world that will understand and appreciate your particular brand of eccentricity.”

Kurt took this into consideration. He was afraid of moving on, cause that will be admitting that things are over with Blaine and him, and he didn’t want to admit that it was over. He was not ready to let go of the love of his life.

A year later, Kurt was in New York. He had just graduated from NYADA and had a good thing going on in his life. He dated a few people, but none of them were like Blaine.

Currently, he was in his loft, where he was meeting up with Rachel. He was sitting on the coach skimming through the channels on the tv, waiting patiently for Rachel.

Suddenly he heard the doorbell ring. “That must be Rachel,” he thought to himself.

He opened the door, and there stood Rachel, grinning back at him, “Hi Kurt!”

“Hey, Rachel! How are you? I haven’t seen you for a while,” Kurt replied as he pulled in for a hug.

“I know, I know, and I’m so sorry I haven’t stopped by. I’ve just been really busy with Broadway, NYADA, and everything. I’m also trying to figure out things with Jesse,” Rachel rambled on as they walked over to the couch, where both of them sat down.

Kurt nodded along as Rachel continued talking. He was a bit jealous about how Rachel made her big break on Broadway and managed to be in NYADA. But he’s also happy with his life, or so he thinks.

“Well enough about me. How are you, Kurt? How have things been?” Rachel asked.

“I’ve been good. You know, just been trying to find my big break,” he says as he gives Rachel a nervous smile.

“Don’t worry! You’re Kurt Hummel! You’ll find your big break soon,” she reassures him, “But how is your social life? Are you dating anyone?”

“No, not really. I’ve just been taking a break from dating,” he stated.

“Oh ok. That’s good though! Finding some time for yourself,” she gives him a smile.

Kurt wonders whether he should ask the question that he’s been waiting to ask. But he just decides to ask, what does he have to lose?

“Hey so, how’s Blaine? Haven’t heard from him for a while?” Kurt asks, slightly wincing.

“Oh, well he’s fine. You know, stuff,” Rachel nervously laughs, obviously hiding something.

“Rachel, I know you’re hiding something. What happened?” he questions her.

“Well I hate to be the one to tell you this,” Kurt remembering Brittany saying something similar a year ago, “But Blaine’s engaged.”

“WHAT? With who?” Kurt double-takes.

“Sebastian Smythe. Apparently. Sebastian did the Uptown Girl number with the Warblers to Blaine, and then proposed.” Rachel winces after hearing Kurt’s reaction, “But Sebastian’s not all that bad though, he’s actually pretty nice once you get to know him.”

“Get to know him? What?” Kurt immediately asks.

Rachel regrets what she said once she fully registers what she said. She stammered, “W-well, it was n-nothing much. I was just in Ohio for a week, and I saw Sebastian. We talked for a bit, and he was pretty nice. He’s not the same person from high school.”

Kurt looked stunned, confused about how Rachel could like a person like Sebastian Smythe. He didn’t know that Rachel, his best friend, could betray him like that.

“Look Kurt, I got to go now, I have to meet Jesse. I’m sorry you didn’t know about the whole proposal thing,” she gives him a nervous smile after clearly noticing his reaction again.

Kurt snapped out of his trance, “Okay, ya, no problem. I’ll just see you later Rach. Bye.”

And with that, Rachel left. Kurt sat on the couch, processing what just happened. How could Blaine say yes to marriage with Sebastian Smythe? Of all people, Sebastian Smythe? Kurt got annoyed at the thought of Blaine and Sebastian. But he still hadn’t lost hope, he wasn’t ready to let go of the love of his life.

A few months later, but Kurt was still in denial. He still thought he could make things the way they were, just like in high school. Kurt did everything he could to try to win Blaine’s heart back. All that ever did was put an even larger distance between Blaine and him.

It was the day of Blaine and Sebastian’s Wedding. When Kurt first got the invitation, he decided not to go. But when he thought about it a little more, he realized this was his last chance to win Blaine’s heart back. So he RSVP'd yes to the wedding in the hope to stop it.

When he came inside the church, he saw a lot of familiar people from the old New Directions. He also saw the old Warblers, from when he first transferred to Dalton. Both show choirs seemed to be getting along well, much to his surprise.

“Hey Kurt,” he heard a familiar voice calling him.

“Hi,” Kurt turned around to see who it was, “Mercedes!”

“How are you? It’s been a while,” she asked.

“I’m good. How are you? You look great,” he replied, pulling in for a hug.

“Thanks. I’m surprised though, I didn’t think you would come to the wedding,” Mercedes pointed out.

“Oh well, I thought I’ll just come. You know, see Blaine and all,” Kurt quickly reacted, “Speaking of Blaine, have you seen him?”

“Oh ya, he’s in the upper left corner room,” she smiled pointing to where Blaine was, while eating her bowl of tots.

“Okay, thanks. Well, I’ll see you later!” Kurt said before rushing off to where Blaine was.

Kurt walked through the halls of the church. He was a bit sad, if he was honest. He always thought that Blaine and he would get married, and living happily ever after together. Apparently some dreams don’t become reality.

He knocked on the door to the room which Blaine was in.

The voice inside replied, “Come in.”

Kurt walked in, where he saw Blaine in his tuxedo, making final touches to his outfit.

“Oh, it’s you, Kurt. I thought it would be Santana,” Blaine said in his cheerful voice.

“Yup, it’s me. I figured I see you, it’s been a while,” Kurt gave a simple smile.

They stood there in awkward silence for a few moments, until Blaine broke the silence, “Kurt, why exactly are you here?”

“Well I got an invitation,” Kurt sounded a bit offended.

“I know, but I didn’t really think you’d come after, well you know, everything,” Blaine observed.

Kurt started off, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for everything. I really did love you Blaine, and I still do love yo-”

Blaine sighed. He knew that something like this would’ve happened.

“Kurt, I really don’t need this right now. I know that you were trying to win my heart back, but you can’t. Sebastian already has it. I really love him, Kurt. I did love you, Kurt. You were my first love, but I’ve moved on, and so should you,” Blaine told, tears threatening to come out as he continued to talk.

“But I-,” Kurt tried to cut in,

“Look, Kurt. I invited you here as my friend. I really appreciated that you came to the wedding. If you have a problem you can leave. I’m not trying to be rude or anything, but it is my wedding day, and it’s supposed to be special, so please understand my wishes,” Blaine interrupted.

Kurt looked shocked. He barely saw this side of Blaine a lot. He sighed and gave a tight smile, “Okay. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. Goodbye Blaine.”

Blaine nodded and replied, “Goodbye Kurt.”

Kurt walked out of the door, taking one look back. Blaine was looking in the mirror, adjusting his suit. He looked really happy, so Kurt made sure he wasn’t going to interrupt the day. He wished that he never broke up with Blaine, but it is what it is. He walked back to his chair, and watched the wedding start.

He saw Sebastian standing at the altar, genuinely smiling. “He seems happy,” Kurt thought to himself. He watched Blaine walk down the aisle with his dad. He saw the officiator recite the words, and heard the words “Does anyone object to this wedding?” Kurt sat in his chair, though he knew Blaine glanced at him.

As soon as he heard the words, “I now pronounce you Husbands”, it took all of his willpower not to cry. He saw Blaine and Sebastian kiss, with everyone cheering for the married couple. Kurt clapped, not wanting to be rude. He put on a fake smile, though he knew he wanted to cry in the inside. He saw Blaine and Sebastian, a newly married couple. Sebastian finally got something Kurt feared he would, he got Blaine.

He wasn’t looking forward to the reception but forced himself to go. He faked his way through this part of the wedding, he could make it through the reception. But Kurt couldn’t hide from the truth. He lost the love of his life.

#seblaine #seblaine fics #sebastian smythe #blaine anderson #not klaine friendly

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abundanceofsoph · 4 years ago

Text

SkyFire 1: Chapter 27

The X Factor finale: December 2015

Word count: 3k

SkyFire 1 MASTERLIST

>Instagram posts

Harry was surprised when he saw Aurora again in London the afternoon of the band's final performance on the X factor. He hadn’t expected her to still be sticking to the plans they had made months ago given that she had already flown out for the end of the tour the previous month. He quickly got over his surprise and rushed over to greet her, taking her in. While her hand was still strapped into a heavy brace and probably would be for many months to come, the sling was gone, and he could tell by the way she held yourself that the rest of her injuries had healed in the 2 and a half months since the shooting. Her long black hair was loosely curled and cascading over her shoulder and down her back, and she was wearing his favourite colour on her, a navy blue ¾ sleeved, form fitted dress that hugged her curves and ended just above her knees. He smiled widely as he pulled her into a tight embrace, letting her go only enough for their lips to meet.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he murmured against her lips, his hands resting on her hips.

“Well I don’t know if you know this,” she giggled, “but my favourite band is performing tonight and it’s their last gig for 18months so I couldn’t miss it.”

“Your favourite band is here?” Harry joked. “Anyone I’ve heard of?”

“Oh no, you’re probably way too cool to be into them,” Rori chuckled. “And there’s this one guy in the band that I’ve got such a thing for.”

“I swear to god if you say Liam right now, I’m gonna need that ring back.”

Aurora broke into a fit of laughter at that, her head falling forward to rest against his shoulder as she gasped for breath.

“I love you,” Harry murmured once her laughter died to down to quiet chuckles. “You look so beautiful. This dress is incredible.”

“Thank you,” Rori blushed. “I love you too and this suit; Wow.”

She stepped back from his grasp to look him up and down, taking in the bright red floral pants and black button up.

“It’s got a matching jacket too,” Harry grinned, holding out his arms and giving a twirl. “I’m so happy you’re here for this Rors. When are you going to stop surprising me like this?”

“When your reaction stops being this good,” Rori chuckled, leaning up on the toes of her stilettos to kiss him again.

“I thought I recognized that laugh!” Louis shouted, jogging down the hallway towards the couple, wrapping his arms around Aurora’s waist and lifting her into the air. She laughed as he spun them around. “Missed you love.”

“Missed you too Lou,” Rori replied.

He led her over to some seats nearby and the three of them sat down.

“How you feeling love?” Louis asked watching with a soft smile the way she leaned into Harry’s side and he instantly wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

“Way better Lou. Had another surgery on my hand 2 weeks ago but everything else has healed up nicely.

“How’s the hand feeling?” Louis asked.

“Pretty much the same,” Rori replies, the smile on her face slipping for a moment. “The doctors have already got another 3 surgeries planned for the start of next year.” Harry rubbed his hand along her shoulder, the other grasping her hand and interlocking their fingers. She squeezed his hand in silent thanks and lent more heavily into his side.

“Just gotta keep taking it one step at a time,” she said, echoing the phrase Sam repeated often during their chats. “And today’s step is to enjoy watching you boys perform, and then finally getting to take this one home with me.”

Harry kissed her temple. “Can’t wait.”

An hour before the show was set to start, the boys’ families started to arrive, coming first backstage to wish them all good luck and then heading out to take their seats in the audience. Aurora hugged each of Louis’ sisters when they arrived, before his mother pulled her aside.

Jay wrapped her arms around Aurora and hugged her tightly. “It’s so good to see you again Darling. You’re looking more yourself then when I saw you last month.”

“Good to see you too Jay, and I’m feeling more myself.” She smiled brightly back at the older woman. “Feels good to be back with the lads.”

“They missed you too, you know,” Jay chuckled. “Louis never shuts up about you and the way Harry pouts when he sees the other boys with their girls is honestly adorable.”

“He pouts?” Rori laughed, her heart swelling to know that her boyfriend and unofficial big brother had missed her while she was home recovering.

“Often!” Jay replied, joining in with Rori’s laughter and drawing Louis attention away from his sisters.

“Should I be worried about what’s going on over here?” he asked, wrapping and arm around their shoulders.

“Not at all,” Rori said, a smile still stretching across her face. “Your mum was just filling me in on how much you and Harry missed me.”

“Well she’s not wrong,” Louis replied, blushing slightly. “Can’t speak for Harold but I know I always miss my partner in crime when you leave tour to go home. More fun pranking the lads when I’ve got an accomplice.”

“Miss you when I go home too Lou,” Rori promised. “Life’s too boring without my big brother around.”

Jay watched the two with tears in her eyes, always emotional to see the family her eldest had built for himself amongst the band and their families. She knew that the hiatus would be good for them all and looked forward to having her only son home more, but she found herself feeling a little sad they wouldn’t all be spending as much time together over the next year and a half.

“Oh, Harry’s family just got here,” Rori said, breaking through Jay’s thoughts. “I better go say hi.”

“I’ll come with you love,” Louis replied, holding out his arm for her and he led her over to where Harry was hugging Anne, Robin and Gemma.

They stood around chatting for a little while before Anne looked at her watch and decided that they should go find their seats and say hello to the other parents before the show starts.

“I’ll join to in a minute,” Rori said when Anne asked her if she was coming with them. “Just waiting on one more person. Save me 2 seats next you?”

“Sure thing, love,” Anne smiled, kissing Harry’s cheek before she left with one last wish of good luck.

A few moments later, Ella arrived, her excitement clear from the moment she walked in the room. “Rori!” she shouted, launching herself into her best friends’ arms. “God, I missed you babe!”

“Missed you too El,” Rori replied, gripping tightly to the energetic blonde.

“Can you believe we’re back here again?” Ella asked. “5 years later and this time we’re backstage.”

“I always forget you girls came to see us on the show back in the day,” Harry chuckled when he walked back over to them. “Good to see you again Ella,” he added before hugging her. “Shows about to start in a few minutes ladies so you better go grab your seats.”

Aurora pulled him in for a quick kiss, tucking one of his curls back into place and wished him good luck one last before taking Ella’s hand and heading towards where Anne had saved their seats for them. The show opened not long after the girls took their seats and within a few minutes the judges were introduced and Aurora and Ella were standing up in their seats, cheering along with the rest of the crowd, whistling and hollering extra loud at Nick’s introduction. The finalists performed first to open the show, then they went to an ad break and Ella immediately turned in her seat to face Aurora. “Thanks again for inviting me along Rori,” she said.

“Are you kidding me?” Rori laughed. “Like I was gonna let you miss this! We’ve been fans from the very start, I was not gonna watch their last show before the hiatus without you.”

“It’s kind of insane how much everything’s changed in the last 5 years, isn’t it? I mean you and Harry are engaged!”

“I know,” Rori giggled. “It doesn’t seem real when I think about it like that.”

“I’m really happy for you,” Ella said.

“Thanks, El,” Rori replied, smiling brightly back at her best friend as the show returned from the ad break.

They fell quiet as Caroline and Ollie returned to the stage and danced in their seats as Coldplay performed, followed by the two finalists with their winners songs. Before long the hosts were introducing the boys to the stage and the crowd went mad.

They sang Infinity first and Aurora screamed along with the rest of the audience, her arm slung around Ella’s shoulders. When the song ended, a video package of well wishes for the hiatus played on the screens. In amongst the video messages from the likes of David Beckham, 5sos and Little Mix, Aurora’s own face appeared on the screen.

“Thank you so much for the last 5 years boys,” she said in the video. “You have reached so many people and your music has been the soundtrack of so many people’s lives . I love you all so much. Please don’t take too long to find your way back to each other. The world’s a better place with you by each other’s sides.”

Following the well wishes and goodbyes, the boys performed History and then before Aurora could really believe it was all over, the song ended, and the boys pulled each other into a group hug. She let a few tears drip down her cheeks as she watched them take in the screams of their fans one last time and then it was done, and they made their way off the stage. The rest of the show passed by in a blur and Aurora didn’t even really get to enjoy Adele’s performance as she was so eager to get backstage with the lads. As soon as the cameras were off, Aurora, Ella and the rest of the families were quickly escorted backstage by security and led into the boys dressing room. Aurora hugged each of them, first Liam then Niall, she clung to Louis for a long time and then he passed her off to Harry who squeezed her tight, dipping his head to bury his face in the crook of her neck and she felt her skin damp with his tears. She didn’t say anything, instead holding him a little tighter while he pulled himself back together.

xXx

Everything was crazy following the end of the show and after an hour or so they all made their way to the after party, saying goodbye to the parents and the younger siblings first.

The music was pumping and while the boys were chatting with people, Rori pulled Ella and Lottie out onto the dance floor. At some point a few songs later, Harry looked out onto the dance floor, smiling as he took in Aurora’s face lit up with laughter as she danced with her friends. Louis’ eyes followed Harry’s to where Rori was dancing with his sister and Ella.

“Good to see her laughing again, hey lad?” he asked.

“God there’s nothing better,” Harry agreed, only peeling his eyes away from his girl when they were joined by another exec wanting to wish them well.

A few songs later, Aurora made her way off the dancefloor, exhausted but ecstatic and wound her way through the crowd towards Harry and Louis.

“Hey babe,” he said when she wrapped her arm around his waist. “Having fun?”

“I am,” she grinned. “Sorry to interrupt, but I’m just heading to the bar for a drink and I was wondering if you needed a refill?”

“I’m good,” Harry replied, kissing her temple. “But come back here once you get yours. Miss you.”

She chuckled, leaning up to kiss his cheek before disappearing into the crowd. She returned after a while, a glass of water in hand and Harry’s arm darted out to pull her against his side as soon as she reappeared. She rested her head against his shoulder, secure against him as the conversation swelled around her.

She stayed by his side as he chatted with people for the better part of an hour, occasionally joining in on his conversations when she knew the person, or sometimes holding her own conversation with someone else. Louis was never far from her side, enjoying hanging out with his bestie. After a while Simon Cowell arrived at the party and made his way over towards the three of them.

“Boys, what a performance,” he said when he reached them. “Are you sure you don’t want to change your mind and tour the new album?”

“Nah I think we’re still good with taking a break,” Louis replied, trying not to roll his eyes.

“Simon, this is my girlfriend Aurora,” Harry said, attempting to avoid Louis saying something he shouldn’t.

“Of course,” Simon replied, reaching out to hug her. “A pleasure to meet you darling. I’ve heard great things about you.”

“Thank you,” Rori blushed. “I’m a big fan of the show.”

“Oh, thank you,” Simon replied. “Maybe one day I’ll have you on, we love to keep it in the family and these boys are like my sons.”

“I’d love that,” Aurora replied while the boys both tried not to sigh at his comments. “You know I always dreamed of auditioning when I was kid.”

“You would have won for sure, love,” Harry said, squeezing her waist. “But if you’ll excuse us Simon, we’ve got plenty of people still to say hi to.”

“Of course, go enjoy your night.”

xXx

Following the afterparty, Aurora ordered an Uber for Ella and then headed back to Harry’s place with him. As soon as they got inside, she kicked off her heels, leaving them in the entry hall and squealed when Harry scooped her up in his arms, carrying her upstairs to his bedroom. He set her back down on her feet once they made it into his room and attached his mouth to hers in a desperate kiss.

She kissed him deeply, his hand reaching for the zipper at the back of her dress, but when he started to pull it down Aurora froze in his arms and pulled away from the kiss.

“Harry wait,” she gasped, causing Harry’s hands to freeze.

“I’m sorry love,” he said, his hands falling from the zipper. “Are you not ready?”

“No, it’s not that.” She shook her head, taking a breath before she explained. “You haven’t seen me without the bandages and there’s a lot of scar tissue.”

“If you’re not ready for me to see that, we don’t have to do anything tonight,” he murmured, ever the gentleman she fell in love with.

“I want to show you Harry,” she whispered, “but no one outside my medical team has seen it yet and it’s just a lot. I’m scared.”

“How about we take it slow?” Harry suggested, his hands returning to the zipper while his eyes locked with hers. She nodded and he slowly lowered the zipper until the dress fell off her shoulder. As the navy blue material slid aside, Harry’s eyes roamed over the exposed skin, a long thin scar followed the curve of her collarbone for about 6 or 7cm leading up to a sunken divot in her shoulder, no bigger than a dime. He lent forward to gently press his lips to the edge of the now healed wound and Aurora shivered. “Is this ok?” he murmured against her skin.

“Yes,” she whispered in reply, her voice shaking, and her right hand moved to his shoulder to steady herself.

“Can I keep going?” he asked, needing to hear her tell him.

“Yes, Harry,” she gasped, trembling slightly in his arms. “Don’t stop.”

His lips traced the wounds before his hands returned to the zip, pulling it down the rest of the way until the dress fell to the floor, leaving Aurora standing in only her bra and panties. He dropped to his knees in front of her, his fingers tracing along the scar above her left hip, his mouth following their path. He heard Rori suck in an unstable breath and looked up at her. Silent tears were rolling down her face as she looked down at him and in an instant, he was standing with her face cradled in his shoulder, one hand stroking calmly along her spine while the other held her head to him.

“I’m sorry love,” he murmured softly. “Did I hurt you? Did I make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry.”

She left her face pressed into his neck, his long hair falling over her as she replied. “You didn’t do anything wrong Harry. I just wasn’t expecting…”

“Weren’t expecting what my love?” he asked.

“For you to still look at me like I’m beautiful,” she confessed, her blushing cheeks hidden from him by his hair.

“Oh love,” he sighed, walking them both over to the bed until he was sitting down with her curled in his lap. “You are beautiful,” he promised. “Do you want to know what I see when I look at these scars?” Aurora lifted her face away from him to look into his eyes. “I see how incredibly strong you are.” He leant forward to kiss her shoulder again, his hands trailing to rest against her hips. “I see how lucky I am to still be able to hold you.” Another kiss, closer to her neck. “I see how hard you fought.” A kiss where her shoulder met her neck. “I see how much I love you.”

“Harry,” Aurora gasped, placing her hands on either side of his face and pulling his head up to kiss him desperately. “I love you too. I’m the lucky one.”

“Let’s agree that we’re both lucky?” He chuckled against her lips. “Now shush. No more talking, just let me show you how much I missed you.”

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

#skyfire #skyfire fic #aurora stark #dad!tony #iron dad #step dad steve rogers #stony #stony fic #boyfriend harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #superfamily #harry styles #tony stark

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