#I apologise I really forgot ;_; I was so sure I got everyone but judgement is not so good at 2am
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thepenguisalive7 · 1 year ago
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Team Blue (Day 1)
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Imagine going present shopping for the Avengers…
A/n: Happy Holidays you beautiful humans!! I wish you so much love and safe festivities x
Tinsel shone in its glory as workers climbed their tall ladders to fix decorations to a large tree on the street. Snow fall had started early this year and the city was alive once again. Despite the turbulence of heroes and villains, people flocked to their closest stores and exited with wrapped boxes and bags - it really was starting to feel like Christmas.
Clint had called you an hour ago requesting some assistance for an undisclosed emergency. Thankful that you were at the tower at the time, the journey to the shopping square was easy on foot but when there was no Hawkeye present, you guessed that he was stuck in traffic.
Buzz! You lifted your phone and saw a text message.
Running late. Start without me. Will keep you updated. - H
As you read the text, you made a note to ask him why he kept signing off as Hawkeye instead of his real name. 
With him out of the picture for a while, a head start with gift buying for the team was a good idea. Everyone was off on their own adventures this year, some on missions, some off-world. You didn’t know their exact locations but you figured that you could get some help from a certain Sorcerer Supreme on Bleeker Street.
Forty minutes or so had passed with Clint sending regular updates of his location while also offering gift advice and you shopped around.
Found an amazing green scarf. Banner or Hulk? You typed out.
Definitely the big guy. Apparently he told Bruce that he liked how soft they were. Clint replied.
Funnily enough, you could imagine the Hulk making the argument about scarves. Easily, you proceeded to make the purchase. As you stepped outside, the wind was far colder than before so you decided to walk towards a coffee shop for a warm drink and to rest your arms. 
Adjusting the bags around your wrists as they become uncomfortable, you tried to put the receipt into your pocket. You glanced up every so often to make sure that you didn’t bump into people when a voice approached from the side.
“I’m so sorry.” Clint apologised as he caught up. You paused your steps with a smile, happy that he had finally made it. “I was on my way when I saw a mugging take place. After I dealt with that I thought a cab would be quicker.”
Classic hero move. You lifted your arms to display the marvellous holiday themed bags. “My spirit cannot be crushed, Barton. I’m invincible.”
“I actually forgot how much you love this time of year.” Clint chuckled as took a few bags away to help lighten the load which you greatly appreciated.
“So what’s the emergency?” You wondered.
The man huffed as his shoulders slackened. “Christmas gifts for Laura and the kids - I’ve been so caught up in spending time with them that I didn’t get a chance to buy anything.” He looked at your blank expression and rolled his eyes. “Go ahead and judge.”
You sent him a small shrug. “I would but I was going to bribe Stephen with my homemade eggnog to use his magic portals as a personal present delivery system so…”
Clint raised his free hand, “No judgement here.” He gave a small laugh that finished on a sigh when he looked around at the people. “Navigating the busy crowds is going to be a challenge.”
“You’ve got me, what could go wrong?”
Clint smirked. “I can think of at least ten things.”
You took his arm and merrily pulled your friend onto the snowy streets. “Alright, Grinch. Let’s get some hot cocoa to warm that heart.”
While walking to the coffee house, Clint took a sneak peek through the bags and you were glad that his gift was safely hidden in your cupboard. You had created a new bow after he complained that his current one wasn’t the best for stealth.
“What’s this?” Clint pulled out a black box that looked very expensive. “An extra special something for a special someone?” He teased.
You lunged forward to take it from his palm, forgetting to hide it. You knew who he was referring to but you chose not to confirm the suspicions and tucked the item away into your pocket.
“That’s meant to be a secret. You only found out accidentally.” You reminded. “Besides I’m not sure if I’ll even it give to…”
“Y/n, if you don’t give it to the one person who actually makes you happy, I will. Got it? Christmas is the time for confessions of love or pining or whatever it is that you both have going.”
As much fun as Clint could be, you knew that his words were serious after all, even he was tired of seeing people dance around feelings. So you promised to deliver the special present as well. 
The quest for gifts for his kids wasn’t a large task because Clint knew the perfect items. In under an hour, you both had everything wrapped or boxed or bagged and then loaded into your car for a quick trip to the Sanctum Sanctorum. 
Upon arriving at Bleeker Street, you parked in a concealed area that was reserved for the Avengers. You and Clint pulled out the presents for the team before stepping onto the porch and knocking thrice. On the third knock, you both were transported inside the Sanctum suddenly. 
Clint exhaled. “I remember why I don’t like coming here.” 
You heard him but was more preoccupied with finding the wizard donning the red cloak. “Happy Holidays, Stephen!” You called out holding up the neatly bowed bottle. “I brought you some of my special eggnog.” 
Clint looked around at the empty space when silence began to fill the room. “This isn’t going to work. He’s too busy with the universe to-”
There was the sound of footsteps before Stephen appeared from a hidden doorway. He approached and saw the drink in your hands. 
“I am not the postal system, Y/n.” He told you slightly annoyed. 
You nodded and handed him the bottle nonethless. “Be that as it may, you do still owe me from the time you accidentally turned the whole team into hermit crabs and then you erased their memory because it was so traumatic.”
Clint’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, what?”
Stephen’s jaw clenched when he remembered how that ordeal only ended with your help and discretion (that is, up until this very moment). He sighed and raised his hands, summoning several portals. “Where are the presents?”
Masterlist here
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discoscoob · 5 years ago
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Bless me, Master, for I have sinned
Pairing: Dhawan!Master/You
Summary: A total rip off of the kneeling scene from Fleabag, all credit for this goes to Phoebe Waller-Bridge and this post
Word count: 4,2k
Warning: I’m still fairly new to writing smut, basically this is only my second time and the first I’m actually posting so apologies in advance, please be kind 🙏🏻
 The Master had shocked you many times but you had to admit that seeing him stood at an altar, with a bible held in his hands and a dog collar around his neck as he officiated the wedding ceremony of your cousin and her fiancé, was up there at the top of the list of his biggest shocks. 
You hadn’t seen him in months, you had been travelling with him behind the Doctors back after the events with the Kasaavin, since the both of you had grown attached while he was pretending to be O. It all came to a halt when he one day gave you an ultimatum, which was for you to decide whether you wanted to travel with him or the Doctor, telling you that whichever one you chose meant you could no longer see the other. It was one of those head or heart decisions, in the end you had went with your head and every day since you had wandered how differently you would have ended up had you gone with your heart.
You slouched further into the uncomfortable wooden church bench, luckily you weren’t sat too close to the front, you were grateful for the ridiculously large hat you had chosen to wear, by simply tipping your head forward it would cast a shadow over your face and make you less recognisable. 
You spent the remainder of the ceremony bouncing your knee and chewing your lip while glancing at the exit, knowing if you left early you would only draw attention to yourself so you waited until it was over and everyone had left their seats to dodge through the crowd and straight for the double doors, what you didn’t expect was for the Master to be stood at the entrance of the church, nodding and smiling as everyone left, even shaking some people’s hands if they offered. 
You dipped your head once again, this time hiding your face completely beneath your hat as you quickly jogged past him, hoping the old lady who had decided to start telling him about how she also got married in this church was enough to keep him distracted. 
Once you made it to your car you checked all your mirrors and let out a sigh of relief when you saw he wasn’t following you, after removing your hat and placing it on your passenger seat you started your car and began your journey home.
However after you got home you still couldn’t stop thinking about him, he was in your town pretending to be a priest, you wondered how long he had been here and why he was here, was he looking for you? That didn’t make sense, he knew where you lived, if he wanted you he could just show up on your doorstep anytime he liked. 
It was after you had got into bed for the night that you realised you wouldn’t be able to sleep with all these unanswered questions in your head, begrudgingly you threw your covers off you and began to get dressed, you were going to pay him a visit.
 •
 When you entered the dimly lit church you couldn’t help the shiver that shot down your spine, you had never been in a church at night before and you hated how hauntingly airy it felt, so you wrapped your arms around yourself as you warily made your way down the isle. 
The sound of pop music echoed through the empty hall and you followed the noise until you arrived at an archway at the side of the alter, from there the warm glow of a light partially leaked into the shadows and lured you towards it. 
When you entered the room, the sound of banging caught your attention and you turned your head in the direction of it to find the Master jumping with his arms stretched out above him, trying to reach for something in one of the higher shelves of a cabinet. He was too distracted by this task to notice your presence so you looked behind you for the source of the music and found the stereo, you reached out and hit the switch to turn it off
“Oh fuck!” The Master immediately startled when he saw you stood there and he scrambled backwards with his arms in front of him as if you were a threat, still letting out a string of curse words.
“Woah,” you breathed out through a small laugh, somewhat amused by his reaction.
“Oh my god I thought you were just in my head then!” He thought out loud, as he blinked rapidly, his arms still held out in front of him as he shifted his weight on his legs, he brought his hands up to his eyes as if he was going to rub them just to be sure they weren’t deceiving him but he stopped himself to point at you instead, “I mean, you were in my head then... but now you’re there.” He waved his hands around as he spoke, it was pretty obvious from the way he was acting that he had had a little bit to drink... or a lot.
You laughed a bit, unused to seeing him behave this way but you gave him a dubious look as you asked, “are you okay, Master?”
“Fuck you calling me Master like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it.” He smiled boldly at you with both hands placed on his hips, he was still dressed up as a priest though his collar hung open now to reveal the top of his chest, the hair there just peaking out from beneath the fabric. 
You stood wordlessly, unsure of how to even respond to what he just called you out on, I mean it wasn’t exactly false but you weren’t going to admit it out loud, your silence was enough and it seemed he realised that as he let out a single hum of a laugh.
“Do you wanna drink?” He offered you.
“Yeah,” you found yourself answering before you could even think about it, you knew that probably wasn’t the wisest decision but it was too late now he had already placed the empty glass on the table.
“Don’t move.” He ordered as he turned around the fetch the bottle, you couldn’t help the way that little instruction made your stomach do a slight flutter.
That’s when he went back to what you had caught him doing when you walked into the room, jumping at the cabinet with his arms stretched above his head, “I don’t seem to have the fucking reach anymore.” He complained as he continued to jump and you watched him curiously. 
“God help me.” He spoke under his breath and with one more jump the bottle was flying out of the cabinet, “woah” he gasped as he quickly caught it before it smashed to the floor.
He gave you a look before he moved back over to the table, you followed him as he poured you both a glass before he picked them both up by their rim, offering you yours.
“Here’s to chaos,” he raised his glass towards you, “and those who get in the way of it.” 
You weren’t exactly sure what he meant by that but you raised your glass to his anyway and they met in the middle with a little ping before you each took a gulp... or two... or three, if you’re the Master. 
“I’m sorry about–“ You began to apologise for choosing the Doctor over him, you weren’t sure why but you felt as though you had to as you looked upon the broken state he seemed to be in.
“Forget about it.” He dismissed before he quickly changed the subject “look at this!” He smiled, placing his glass on the table to turn around to open the closet behind him, he pulled out a priest’s robe and of course it was purple, you smiled nodding, you should have expected it, “look at it!” He enthused, “I knew I wanted a bold... this colour.” He gestured towards the garment. “So beautiful, isn’t it?” He looked at you as if this was completely normal, as if he wasn’t the Master, the renegade Time Lord who destroyed his own planet, now stood here with you in a church, pretending to be a priest as he fawned over one of his robes, refusing to acknowledge the obscurity of it all.
“What are you doing here?” You finally asked him the question you came here to get the answer to, he paused, standing across from the table with his hands clasped in front of him and his head hung so he didn’t have to look at you, he stepped forward and reached for his glass, it seemed he was suddenly very interested in it’s contents as he stared into it while he shifted his weight back and forth until he got the courage to look up at you finally.
“Come with me.” He nodded his head towards the door as he began to walk over to it, you weren’t sure if this was leading to him answering your question or if he was trying to change the subject but you guessed the only way you would find out would be if you followed him, so that’s what you did. 
 •
 You were stood in front of the confession box, face to face, you still couldn’t tell where this was leading but by now you were sure that it was a way to distract you just enough so he wouldn’t have to give you any of the answers you were looking for since he seemed to expect you to be the one to tell him your secrets, rather than the other way around.
“You go in there, I go in there.” He explained to you, pointing to each cubicle of the box, the irony of an alien who wasn’t from your planet explaining one of earths customs as if he had better knowledge of it than you did, sometimes you forgot how much time he had spent on earth, technically he had lived on this planet longer than you had, maybe he did have more knowledge after all. You shook your head, that was too much to think about right now especially when you realised he was really serious about getting you to do a confession with him.
“You’re going to make me tell you all my secrets so you can ultimately trap and control me.” You joked.
“Yeah,” he giggled, before his face shifted to a more serious expression. “No, you tell me what’s weighing on your heart and I listen without judgement and in complete confidence.” 
“Wow how much time have you spent here, did you read that from a script?” You laughed through a gasp, shocked by how precise he was getting this priest act.
“Shut up,” he light-heartedly grumbled at your teasing, “come on.” He encouraged you.
“I’m not a catholic.” You protested.
“Neither am I.” He shrugged and had you been religious you would have stepped away from him in fear he would spontaneously burst into flames, since you were sure that standing in a church and being a fraudulent priest while admitting you weren’t a catholic was asking for trouble. 
“Come on.” He urged you some more, keeping his voice soft. “Just do it.”
“Alright.” You softly agreed and then you both made your way in to the separate cubicles. 
“Okay now you say ‘bless me Master for I have sinned-“
“I’m not going to say that.”
He ignored your interruption and continued with his instructions. “‘it’s been insert days, years months since my last confession’ then I say ‘that’s okay blah blah blah’ until you tell me what’s on your mind... tell me your sins!” He eagerly encouraged you and you were laughing.
“Why would I tell you my sins?” You spoke through a broad smile.
“Because... I want to know.” He told you in a hushed tone, as if it were a secret.
So you decided you would, with a quick gulp of your drink and a deep breath, you would play his game.
“I’ve stolen things... but you would know about that since you were usually the one encouraging me to do it. I’ve had sex outside marriage, something else you already know about.” You laughed to yourself, “a lot of masturbation, a bit of violence and of course the endless fucking blasphemy.”
“And?” He prompted you to share more, it wasn’t hard to see you were holding back.
“And...” You paused, questioning whether or not you really wanted to tell him.
“Go on.” He pushed you.
You took another big gulp of your drink, to try and calm your nerves.
“And... m’frightened.” 
“Of what?”
“That I got it all wrong...” He remained silent as he patiently waited for you to elaborate, “I thought choosing the Doctor was the right thing to do but if it was why do I still think about you every single day and what my life would have been like if I chose you instead?” 
“Do you still travel with the Doctor?” He had asked and you automatically shook your head before he remembered he couldn’t see you.
“No,” you answered quietly.
“Do you miss it?” 
“I miss you.” You confessed, “I think you should have made the decision for me, I would’ve done anything you told me, I trust you would’ve got it right and I wouldn’t be spending every single day thinking about what could’ve been because I would‘ve actually been doing it. So just tell me what to do,” you pleaded, your voice strained from your overwhelming emotions. “Just fucking tell me what to do, Master!” 
Silence. You felt your heart begin to pick up as you waited for him to say something, you dropped your head in dejection.
“Kneel.” Finally came his instruction.
Everything went still for a moment and you questioned whether this was reality or if you had just began daydreaming. Your eyes travelled up to the grid of the confession box.
“What?” You wanted the confirmation that you heard him correctly, that this was real.
“Kneel.” He said softer this time, “just kneel.”
You took a deep breath while you blinked down at your lap, your lips were slightly parted as you lifted your drink to slowly place it on the ledge in the confession box and with that you carefully lowered yourself to your knees in the cramped space, the wood creaked as you moved. Once you were on your knees you arched your neck back and chewed your lip while you waited for what was next. 
You really hope he wasn’t going to get you to pray this was not what you imagined–
The curtain to the cubicle was abruptly pushed to the side to reveal the Master standing before you in all his glory, your breath hitched in your throat while your lip slipped from between your teeth, your mouth rested slightly parted. You stared up at him with doe eyes which conveyed all your desire while he glared down at you with a hard stoic expression.
Your eyes followed him as he gently lowered himself to his knees, one leg at a time and once he was done he was still looking down at you since you knelt with your bottom rested against the back of your ankles while he kept his thighs up right.
He brought his hands up to your face, just letting them hover before he ever so lightly traced the back of his fingers down your jaw until his thumb slightly brushed your chin.
You couldn’t help the way your eyes kept flicking down to his lips and you hoped that they displayed all your need for him and he had enough mercy to grant you your desire. 
Much to your delight he leant his head towards yours and you craned your neck towards him, your lips met in a tender kiss, his fingertips brushed up your throat and the fine hair at the back of your neck stood to attention.
When you pulled away from the simple kiss, you briefly glanced at each other, just to see the affect you had on one another but your glazed eyes barely managed to meet before each of you were focusing your concentration onto the others lips. You fell into another kiss however you decided you needed more than just soft and tender so you pushed into it further, raising your thighs and he chased your lips with his own as you continued to rise until you were stood on both feet, with him not far behind, your mutual desperation increased at a rapid rate. 
You began blindly stumbling, with your hands trying to grab each other anywhere and everywhere all at once, both of you refusing to break the kiss to move in a more effective and safer fashion, until you were pushing him into the door of the confession box. 
You brought your trembling fingers up to where the button should be for his trousers but you had trouble finding it until you recalled he was wearing a robe so you hastily grasped the fabric in your palms trying to get it all out of the way from where you wanted to be which only caused you to grow frustrated.
“Skirt and trousers?” You complained, although you had to admit it made sense considering priests had to be celibate it’s not like they had any need for clothes that allowed for easy access.
He helped you along as he bunched up the fabric in his arms and you were finally able to unclasp the button of his trousers, you felt the fabric which the Master had been holding bunch up against your wrist as he let it drop in favour of wrapping his arms around your waist, deciding he needed to pull you closer, so with your chests flush you blindly walked him until the back of his knees hit a bench and he collapsed onto it with his legs spread wide open, allowing you enough space to drop to your knees between them. You steadied yourself by clutching each of his thighs as you lowered yourself to the ground, never breaking eye contact.
His eyes still shone despite the lack of light in the empty church hall and his jaw hung slack, you caught the way his chest rose and fell with his heavy breaths as he closely watched your every move while he urgently gathered the excess fabric of his robe to get it out of your way.
“I should have never let you go.” The Master panted, “I should’ve kept you all to myself the moment you started travelling with me, I was a fool to share something as precious as you with anyone else, let alone the Doctor.” 
While he was talking you had managed to get his zip down and began palming him over his underwear, you could already feel his length straining against the material from how desperate he was for you.
“You don’t have to share me anymore.” You promised him, while you slowly pulled his trousers and boxers down together until his member was freed from its confinement, it sprung up against his stomach and the Master hissed from the feeling of it suddenly coming into contact with the cold air, churches weren’t exactly renowned for being the warmest of places.
He didn’t have to suffer for long as you were soon wrapping your warm palm around the base to drag it up to his tip, letting your hand  slightly twist around the head before dragging it back to the base to repeat the routine.
His breathing grew even heavier and you didn’t miss the way the muscles of his stomach twitched as you paid close attention to the head. 
With one fist buried into the crumbled up fabric of his robe, keeping him grounded, he moved his other hand to comb his fingers through your hair to secure a fist full of it at the crown of your head.
“That’s enough teasing, pet.” He huffed, urging your head closer to his length and who were you to disobey your Master?
You lowered your head, never breaking eye contact as he watched you with his lids lazily dropped. You brought your tongue out to give the head a quick lick before wrapping your lips around it and hollowing your cheeks as you dragged your head back up until it released with a pop, after that you flattened your tongue against his base and dragged it all the way to his tip which you swirled your tongue around before you closed your lips around it once again, this time moving your head down his shaft and the Master encouraged you further with the fist full of hair he still had a secure grip on, until the blunt head collided with the back of your throat and you let out a splutter, he loosened his grip allowing you to freely raise your own head but you just brought your mouth to his tip before you where sinking back down again as far as you could go.
“So good for your Master,” he breathlessly praised you, which only spurred you on further as his hips began to involuntary thrust up into your mouth, chasing his impending high. 
He broke your eye contact when he threw his head back against the back of the church bench, moaning your name in pleasure and you saw his Adam’s apple bop up and down, swallowing a gulp from the way his mouth watered.
You began to quicken your pace, hollowing your cheeks harder and rubbing the part you couldn’t reach with your hand to bring him towards his orgasm. 
By now your eyes had started watering from the attack on your gag reflex but you didn’t mind since your eyes weren’t the only things that became more damp with each thrust that hit the back of your throat, you clenched your thighs in an attempt to offer yourself some relief but it didn’t go far. 
“M’gonna come,” he warned you through clenched teeth, it was the only noticed you got before his hips bucked towards you a few times until finally his release spilled onto your tongue as your name spilled out of his mouth, he had tightened his grip on your hair making your scalp burn from the harsh hold but it only sent a wave of pleasure through the pit of your stomach. 
Once his body relaxed so did his hold and he gently ran his palm over your scalp to sooth you as he caught his breath, his head still rested back against the back of the bench, you tucked his now half hard member back into his underwear before you nuzzled your face into his palm which he had brought to your cheek after he had stroked it through your hair. 
You had your eyes closed you hadn’t noticed he was reaching forward for you until you felt his hands gripping you under your arm pits, urging you to your feet, you did as he wanted and his hands slid from under your arms and down your rib cage until they gripped your waist and he pulled you down to straddle his lap.
He looked up at you, his eyes bounced back and forth between yours before he extended his neck towards you to capture your lips with his own, his hand moved up to the back of your neck to keep you in place, while his tongue brushed across your bottom lip. 
Your own hands were rested on his shoulders to keep yourself steady, you couldn’t help the way your hips began to grind into his as you searched for anyway to relieve the tension that had built from providing him with pleasure.
After he felt your hips rhythmically stroking against his he moved his hands to your love handles to still your movements with a bruising grip.
You whined in protest but he gently shushed you, dragging a finger over your lips.
“Does my human need her Master?” He taunted, and you desperately nodded as you looked into his sparkling eyes, looking more himself than he had the entire night, a broad smile creeped on his face when he saw the yearning in yours. 
“Use your words, love.” He urged.
“I need you, Master.” You mumbled, vocalising your desires was something you still struggled with but when you travelled with him he had always encouraged you to be vocal, not only did it make it easier for him to know exactly what you needed he revelled in watching you beg him.
He gently patted your thigh, prompting you to lift off his lap with a quick peck to your lips.
“Come on, love, let’s go to my tardis, where I can take proper care of you.” He promised, and you weren’t going to turn him down, not ever again, you still hadn’t got the answers you had come here for but that could wait, for now you had better things to do.
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calypsoff · 4 years ago
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Seventeen. Part 3
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Chris is really drunk, I can hear him in the background getting annoyed but who the hell has his phone “hi, it’s Clinton. I’m sorry, my son and I went to get some drinks and then ended up having too many, well Chris did. I apologise” oh my god, his dad. I am stunned but I need to say something “oh it’s ok Clinton, honestly. I’m just glad to know he is safe. That is the real point here, just get him hone. He’s stilly” he really went out drinking with his dad “I will do, I apologise for my son” he disconnected the phone and so did I, he didn’t need to apologise but the way Chris was shouting I love you, and the. I heard a female in the background, but I think he was out in a bar, I wonder the reason why and also Chris drunk, I have never had the pleasure of drunk Chris but he seems pretty fun and he remembered me, he is sweet but I am totally annoyed with him: I want more for us but he wants less, I hate that for us and it’s really upsetting me. I have been back a few hours now and I’m waiting to go into a meeting, I am tired and fell asleep on the drive here to the meeting, Mel woke me and now I am just waiting. I don’t know, I was being playful with him and assumed he would want to keep something at the home but he’s always saying no, just kind of upset me “who was that?” Mel asked, letting out an oh “Chris, a very drunk Chris. He was saying something and then shouting that he loves me, typical” shaking my head “yeah you never really said about how the Mexico trip was?” Stretching my body “good” stifling out a yawn, I am so tired.
I know Mel wants to know more so I might as well spill “we didn’t do much but have sex, we jumped off a cave. Well you know the side of a cave, and it was so good. We kissed in the pure white waters, and we have a video of us jumping in it. Then more sex, we had such a good time” I seem so fed up and the tour hasn’t even started yet “I hope he isn’t showing out knowing full well who he with” Mel said but she has got a point, I hope Chris isn’t “I am happy for you both though, it’s nice to see you are very much invested in this meaning the fact you’re willing to have a baby and pretty much halt your career” I knew she would bring that up, taking in a deep breath “I want a baby so bad, the reason I never bought this forward is because I was unhappy with the man but I’m not now, I am content. I want a family” Mel squinted her eyes at me “right and if he turns around and says no, I didn’t want the baby, so I am out. Then what?” That could happen “the so be it, I still got my love child” Mel is not amused “the help has got into you, Robyn. A baby half way through a release of an album? It’s wrong and as a friend I want you to tell him, the truth. He deserves to know, I don’t want you to be hurt until his because he can turn around and make you a single mother, you look tired and dragged down already” my eyes bulged out “ok maybe not that dramatic but still, I want the best for you” maybe Mel is right, but I want my baby, I don’t care for the rest.
Staring at Jay Brown, I don’t know but I’m just not with it “forgive me, I forgot to ask. How was your time away with Chris?” He asked “oh erm just great” I smiled lightly “that is fine, so this tour will be tiresome. We will be travelling, you get off stage and you’re out to the airport, seven days you will do this. No stopping, once we get to the city then we can check into a hotel and have a little refresh but other than that it will be none stop along with the press and fans with us, we will get fans from each city on there too, so this is very stressful very full on, Rihanna we need you to be there and on time, we need you to at least interact with the fans on the first day on the plane, after that. Then you can let loose, but we ended that first, on the day of the New York date, that is when the album will be released. I have had sleepless nights over this, I am ready. We are ready for this” this sounds long “ok, and did you add Chris to the people with us? He is entourage now” looking up at Jay Brown, I hope he has “I did, I had to move Tina on the plane. The other two will be there but not in business class with us. But he’s on there” I don’t need to argue to him about it “thanks, but yeah. I am excited for this, it’s going to be long, but it will be different” that is all I have to ask “cool, Robyn I need to speak to you alone. Goodnight to the rest” oh god, I wonder what he needs to tell me now on my own, hopefully something productive.
Everyone filed out of the room and left us to it, I wonder what it is “erm, I didn’t know your new boyfriend has a record for drugs?” I should have known “we all do stupid things Jay; he made a mistake and did his time. It was a very big mistake, trust me. I know him, I know the man I am dating so that was it?” he could have kept people here while he said that to me “it doesn’t look good on you, all the tabloids are saying is that you are with a thug, he is with you for money. He is a nobody really? An ex-convict that will be on this tour, now he is part of the entourage. I won’t be shocked if he breaks your heart Robyn, you seem sot be very much in love with him. Look I have no issues as long as you are putting work forward, that needs to be always be ahead of your list” why the fuck does this guy likes to stress me out “right” I mumbled, I really don’t need this shit from him, I really don’t “you’re clearly annoyed with me but I am looking out for my artist which is you Robyn, I have to make sure you’re good, I can’t just sit back and let it slide and not mention anything to you about it, what kind of manager would I be? Just don’t let him get between your line of work, but that was all. Just you are looking like a stupid in love girl, but I trust your judgement anyways” getting up from the seat, he is so annoying “sure, see you in New York” let me go.
I did try and call Chris but of course he will be a drunk mess so he will call when he is ready, shaking my head locking my phone “tired of this shit, a drunk Chris and a nosey ass manager” Mel hasn’t questioned what has happened at all, she knows I have a lot to think about but also I am very tired “do you have some rehearsal now?” Mel asked “I do, I also need to go and see Wale, do a little feature with him. I promised I would see him” Mel gasped “oh my god yes, you said you would do the remix! Yes bitch, ok I am excited. But I thought rehearsal?” Mel keeps mentioning that “I do have that but it’s just a meet up with the band that will be coming and then tomorrow I will get down to the mini rehearsal, then prep to go New York and then leave tomorrow night, hectic I know but it is what it is. A bitch got to work and make her muller” Mel didn’t say anything but she knows I am going to be working like a dog for these few days, and on top of that I am feeling already tired when I have done nothing yet “what did Jay want anyways? What did he mention” Mel asked “that he is a bad guy, he has a record” I shrugged “oh yeah, they are really running with it. I just saw Chris’ following shoot up and he ended up on Shade Room, I swear I cackled. They need to leave him alone, there is so many unhappy people that they project their hate onto him, like what the fuck does it got to do with them, like they are jumping to conclusions about him. Oh god, did you see his ex on there too? She made, you stole her man” I knew it “typical, I don’t care for her. I will get my lawyer on her to shut her mouth about us, cheeky bitch” I really can’t stand her, and then she is now pregnant because of TJ.
Crazy how there is always that one paparazzi here, I mean it’s random but whatever. Walking around the SUV and making my way to the studio. My driver walked alongside me, I do wonder who is here that there is paparazzi here, unless there is someone leaking something. I guess I will find out “extra as fuck, Wale would never” walking into the studio building “I know he wouldn’t, I just wonder who else is here though. Did he say second studio on the second floor?” staring at Mel “uhhh yeah, let’s take the elevator though because I am not taking the stairs” I was going to walk up the steps “you know if you didn’t go Mexico with Chris you wouldn’t be so rushed” Mel is telling me something I don’t know “I know but I wanted to take him away, I don’t regret it but it’s made me rush things” the elevator pinged open, stepping into the elevator “he should have come back with you too” I snorted laughing “we argued about that already, he fell out about his suitcase so please. Let’s not start on the coming with me part” crossing my arms across my chest, there was only a short ride up “see” eyeballing Mel, the doors pinged open “riri baby” Rakim, he is here “the hell you doing here?” I questioned “waiting on you, how are you” he hugged me, just out of nowhere “I am good, and yourself? But seriously. Is that why there is papz outside, Ferg. Looking well” moving back from the hug “oh no Marshall is here, they came with him but I am going, see you at the VMAs” stepping off the elevator “likewise” I grinned walking off “nice to see such love between you both” Mel said behind me which made me laugh.
Wale studio session ended up being an all-night thing and I am just getting home, I cancelled the meet up with the band for tomorrow afternoon “I really need to sleep, look at me. I am looking a mess” my eyes are feeling so dry “we’re nearly there, I wanted to say. It’s funny to see you and Rakim being so formal now, like you both get on so well. Better then you both did, he looked so happy to see you too” she got a point he did “yeah” my phone started ringing in my hand “oh it’s the drunk” I said laughing, answering the call “hey” I would have imagines he would be asleep for longer “you’re awake still?” Chris said, he seemed so shocked that I am “busy, like I told you but yeah. How come you’re awake? Not drunk still” Chris laughed “I am feeling it still, I just wanted to see if you was ok” I thought so “uhm yeah I am ok, I am going to bed now. Just ring me tomorrow when you’re fully feeling yourself, ok?” there is no point, he seems out of it still “sure, I love you” smiling lightly “I love you too” disconnecting the call “I am also feeling a little too tired to be conversating, get me to a bed!” Mel laughed at me.
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cilliansaccent · 5 years ago
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Class of Temptation - CHAPTER FOUR
Leave a like, reblog or comment below to show your support and love! Enjoy…
PLEASE READ:
No mention of Cillian’s true family or relatives. All names are made up.
This is a TEACHER x STUDENT fanfiction, it’s going to be kinky and very taboo!
I will write whenever the mood grabs me, so I apologise if there are long breaks between chapters :)
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Background: Tessa is a twenty-three-year-old model from a broken-up family, living in London with her best friend and starting a course on Drama and Theatre. Though, when she gets closer to the super hot Mr Murphy who is her much older teacher, there is a battle of lust and love between them. They’ll have to figure out what to do with their tight relationship as other issues begin to rise and nip at their heels…
Word Count: 1,775
!!Warnings!!: None.
Chapter Name: Strange
Brief Chapter Outline: Tessa gets a taste of what it’s like to study and isn’t sure of herself... 
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Two weeks had passed by since the day class had started and things really began to kick off. Cillian had gotten the assessment sheet for the big project. "So, this paper that is now being passed around is the information you all need for the end of year project," Cillian said as he stood at the head of the class. Everyone sat behind tables since they had finished the morning routine of games. 
Julian handed Tessa the two pieces of paper and she thanked him quietly. The guy was really sweet and they had hung out a lot in the library or got lunch. She learned he was a small author of a fantasy series he was writing and he would promise her to get a book for her to read when he got it published. Tessa read through the sheet and seemed to grow stiff. They were to do a play, like a real professional one for an audience at the end of the first year for this course. It was a romance play and she could hear the excitement through the class. "The second sheet is a small play between you and your partner for the class, it is recommended that you should start this week as there is a lot to cover and planning to do." Cillian watched the class whisper to each other. "Any questions?" He asked as he crossed his arms. "Yeah," Sofia raised her hand, her smile sly and sensual, "I got one." "Go ahead." Cillian gave her a smile. "With this whole partner thing, can we partner with the teacher?" She boldly asked. "No. You cannot. I will be simply taking notes and will grade you and your partner." Cillian replied smoothly, picking up the suggestion clear in the girl's eyes. "Any more questions?" Some more hands rose and the questions were asked, no hint of judgement shone in those beautiful baby blue eyes. Tessa was intrigued by how well he was with this whole teaching thing. He was really a good guy. Tessa found herself smiling and shook her head as she gazed back at the paper. "Alrighty, class. Since you are all adults here, I will give you the freedom to pick your partner. Once you have done so, come here and write your names so I know who is with who." Cillian gestured for everyone to start. "Wanna be with me?" Julian asked Tessa, his soft brown eyes on her. "Uh... Sure. I'll go write our names down then." She smiled and stood, following students to the front desk to write it down. Once everyone had done so, Sofia and her girls were giggling softly to each other as everyone spoke softly to each other. Cillian was looking through the paper and frowned, "Sofia." He said, looking up through his glasses. "Yes?" She batted her eyes at him. Tessa rolled her eyes, pathetic. "You need a partner." He waved the sheet as he came over to her. "I do got one. And that's you. You said we are all adults here, I can choose whoever I want and I... want you, Mr Murphy." She purred. God, Tessa thought, was she really doing this? In front of everyone? "Be serious, Sofia. Pick a partner," He set the sheet down in front of her, brows raised and his expression serious. "Damn. Fine. Alright." She huffed and scribbled out his name and wrote someone else. "Good. Make sure to listen next time." He said as he pulled the paperback and continued on the rest of the class. "So fucked," Julian muttered to Tessa. "Totally." She laughed lightly as she opened her laptop up to work on the current reading material. When the class came to an end, Cillian came to Tessa, "When everyone goes out. I'd like to chat with you." He said, patting the desk in front of her. "Oh. Okay." Tessa nodded as she popped her laptop into her bag. "Want me to wait up?" Julian asked as he slung his backpack over his broad shoulders and ran a hand through his hair. "Nah. It's fine. I have orchestra practice in like an hour." She said shaking her head. "Oh shit yeah, that's right. I'll see ya tomorrow then." He patted her shoulder and left. The class finally filtered out, the squad of girls were last and stared at Tessa with some odd look before they scurried out through the door. She frowned but stayed perched in her chair, watching Cillian bring together his papers. "Come here, bring a chair." He said with a smile and waved her over as he sat in his chair. She got up and grabbed her stuff and brought over a chair and sat beside the large desk. His arms were resting on the surface, his shirt sleeves folded up past his elbow. She couldn't help but see the veins on the backs of his hands, and the tense muscle of his bicep. "I don't want to seem as uh... how would you call it... strange when I say this. It is only what I perceive and have experience in." Cillian started, his accented voice causing goosebumps to rise up despite she wore jeans and a blue jumper. "We are now moving into the third week and I have noticed you are very reserved when it comes to roleplays I set out for a class. I want you to know that I do take notes of participation." He watched her expression, she looked nervous as her eyes darted away. "You are in no trouble," he said as he, on instinct, took her hands that were clasped in her lap. "I-I'm sorry, it's just... I get so nervous and scared. I want to but I can't." She shakes her head. Maybe she was out of her league for this class. Maybe this class wasn't for her. "And that is fine! No one is perfect and no one is expected to do entirely right either. You always have to try, no matter what." He squeezed her hands. His palms were warm and soft. "But what if I mess up? I don't want to mess up." She shakes her head as she looked up and met his gentle and caring eyes. "You learn from it. No shame in that. We are all here for the same thing. To learn and grow." He said pulling his hand back. "You have my full support. Know that. I want you to try tomorrow okay?" She inhaled and let out a soft sigh through her nose. She was absolutely terrified but she found herself nodding. "Alright M- Cillian. I will. I promise." She said with a small smile. "Good. I know you will be wonderful." He said. "You have a pleasant afternoon and evening." He said as she stood and grabbed her things. "You too." She nodded once and left. Until she was jumped by those damn girls. "So, what was that like?" Sofia asked, the slender brown-haired girl with matching eyes. "What was what like?" Tessa stepped back as she almost went face-first into the girl's fake tits. "The chat. With Mr Cillian." Sofia cocked a plucked eyebrow, eyes searching. Tessa's brows furrowed as she pushed back a strand of her black hair behind her ear, "It was just something about my performance. That's it." "Ah, right. Cause you aren't doing what you gotta do." Sofia let out a huff of air, the other girls let out soft laughter. "And how is this your concern? You should worry about yourself." Tessa said with a bit of a bite to her tone. "Oh my, getting a little annoyed? Everything is my concern. You're on my turf." Sofia stepped closer to Tessa, eyes narrowed. "You watch how you speak to me, or you'll find out the hard way to get on my nerves." She stalked past her, shouldering her and causing her to drop the books she had in her hands. Once the girls walked off Tessa watched them with a scowl then turned back just as Cillian had stepped out of the class. "Oh, what happened here?" He looked at Tessa then at the books as he crouched to start arranging them. "I-I- Let me. I dropped them." She hastily got on her knees and grabbed her books, their hands got caught on the stack. His warm, soft fingers curled around her palm as they stood with the stack in between them. "Sorry." Her cheeks bloomed with heat as she pulled her books close once he let her hands go. "Don't be. You okay?" His head tilted to the side. The sharpness of his jaw became more prominent, his slender neck disappearing under the woollen jumper he wore. A thought ran through her brain, the idea of her fingers tracing that soft skin- "Tessa?" Cillian's deep almost rugged voice brought her back to reality. "Ah- Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired." She said with a smile. "Oh. I see. Walk with me?" He offered. "Um..." No, "Yeah, okay." She nodded and they walked along the hall, people walking past them and admiring Cillian. "I forgot to ask you, how are you since the class started? Like with the whole modelling you do alongside with the class." He asked. "Busy I guess. It's uh, getting more faster as we near Christmas." She shrugged, "But it's fine. I can handle it." "Yeah? Props to you, then. But don't overwork yourself, yeah? Enjoy it." He gave her a smile that made her heart clench. "Thanks. I'll try not to. I need to stay young looking," She found herself smiling. "Indeed. Don't become like me, I've gotten old way to fast." He shook his head but he was still smiling. Wild confidence got her speaking, "I don't think so. You still look fine." "Oh? Well, thank you, Tessa. Very kind of you." They came to a stop at the elevator. "I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good day." He touched her arm gently and he stepped between the open metal doors. She held his gaze until the doors closed and she found herself all over the place, emotionally wise. She glanced down at her hands, she could still feel his fingers on them. Tessa shook her head. Enough of this nonsense. She was going to be late for practice. She liked orchestra, for two hours she managed to escape the world and play music with like-minded people. Despite it being their second week, she knew she was going to enjoy this greatly. Once there, she set up her cello and chatted to the people nearby. Until it was time to play.
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helloalycia · 6 years ago
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good news [one] // alycia debnam-carey
summary: you're alycia's roommate and hear about the news of her getting cast in The 100
warning/s: none.
two | three | masterlist
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"–and it's important to make sure you don't forget this module! It's the one that ties everything together!"
Everyone, including myself, hummed in response to the professor's rant. It was the millionth time in thirty minutes that he'd mentioned how important this topic was to learn. There was no point in stopping him repeating himself though, he would just keep doing it.
"I don't want stragglers showing up at my–"
My heart hammered in my chest as I heard my phone ringing from my backpack at my feet. The professor stopped speaking and everyone's eyes looked to me judgementally. I smiled awkwardly and pulled my phone from my bag. I managed to catch a glimpse of my friend, Alycia's name on the screen, before silencing the call and my phone.
"I'm so sorry about that, oh my goodness," I blurted our nervously, looking to the annoyed professor. "Please, resume."
He gave me a knowing look before looking forward and continuing his rant about asking for help last minute. My heart rate returned to normal, though I was sure my cheeks were flaming with embarrassment. I hated how easily flustered I got in social situations and reminded myself to kill Alycia later on.
"I know you all must be tired of hearing the same old same old, but it's–"
The professor paused and narrowed his glare in my direction when my phone began to ring again. It was on silent, but I had forgotten I'd left it on vibrate. So my phone was vibrating against the wood of my desk and I felt like the whole of the world could bloody hear it.
"Oh my– I'm so sorry, sir, I didn't mean to– sorry," I rambled, cheeks growing warmer as I moved to silence my phone. It was Alycia again. I looked past the dozens of eyes and to my professor, offering an apologetic smile. "Sorry, sir."
He pursed his lips and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, before resuming as usual. I sighed in relief and went to my phone to change my silent settings. I also took the moment to see what on Earth Alycia wanted right now.
Y/N: Dude, i'm in a lecture!! i thought i told you that! what is so important? 😩🤦🏻‍♀️
Aly 💐: I'm sorry omg i completely forgot! long story short, guesS WHO GOT AN ACTING ROLE ON A SCI-FI SHOW IN CANADA??
I screeched and almost dropped my phone as excitement took over me. Alycia got an acting role! She'd been auditioning for months now, but nothing was turning up. She hadn't lost hope and for good reason because she got a role!
"Miss Y/L/N! Is there something you would like to share with the rest of the hall?!"
I jumped, startled at my professor's booming voice. I looked up and my eyes widened when I realised I'd screamed out loud in response to Alycia's text. Oh, god, talk about awkward...
"Sir, I'm so sorry!" I apologised instantly, tossing my phone back into my bag. "I didn't mean to interrupt again! It's just, my friend has been auditioning for so many roles and I was worried nothing would turn up for her, but she got a role just now and it's amazing because she gets to go to Canada!"
My professor wasn't the slightest bit amused and I realised I'd rambled about my life story when he hadn't even asked. He raised his hand and pointed over his shoulder to the door behind him.
I pressed my lips together and breathed out through my nose. I nodded and began to pack my things away awkwardly. I tried to ignore everyone's eyes on me as I walked down the steps and out the hall. I'd have to catch up on someone's notes later or something.
When I left the hall, I searched for my phone, deciding to give Alycia a call. That was my last class for the day, so I guess I could actually get back to Alycia properly now.
"Y/N?!"
"Alycia!" I screamed down the phone, a massive grin on my lips, any previous embarrassment long gone. "Tell me everything!"
I heard her laughter down the phone and ignored the butterflies that swirled a storm in my stomach at the sound. Okay, I may have liked Alycia a little more than friends, but that didn't matter. I'd always pushed it away and it was going fine for me.
"I thought you were in your lecture, though?" she asked, and I could just imagine the confused frown on her lips, making me smile to myself.
I began my walk to the car park as I answered, "I kinda got kicked out for disrupting a few times."
"...That was my fault, wasn't it?"
I snickered. "A little bit, but it's okay. This is important. Now tell me what happened!"
She sighed before diving right in. "Okay, well, I got called to a meeting with my manager before and it was actually a meeting with creator of this show. It's called The 100, you heard of it?"
"Not really, but go on."
"It's some sci-fi show, I don't know, but a month or so ago, I auditioned for one of the characters they're introducing in their second season. Their creator, Jason Rothenburg, loved it! He said he wanted to hire me the same day, but it was only fair to give everyone a fair audition."
I gasped, a smile on my face. "Aly, that's amazing!"
"I know!" she exclaimed with excitement. "He hired me today and well, yeah! I'm going to be in season 2 of The 100!"
I got into my car as I said, "Gosh, I'm so proud of you, Alycia. I knew you'd find something sooner or later."
"Thank you, Y/N. That means a lot."
I smiled as I connected my phone to my car and started the engine. "Where are you now?"
There was some shuffling on her end before a door slammed shut. "Just got home now."
I nodded as I began to pull out of the car park. "Well, I'm on my way back now and we totally need to celebrate this, so what're you in the mood for? Takeout or a restaurant?"
"Y/N, you don't need to do that," she declined politely and I rolled my eyes.
"Aly, we know how this goes. I offer, you say no, I keep bugging you until you agree and we do something. So let's skip to the end where you tell me what you want."
Her laughter echoed into my car and the butterflies returned. Why did something as simple as her laugh make me feel so elated?
"Okay, I guess takeout would be nice," she reluctantly agreed.
"How does Chinese sound?"
"Perfect."
I grinned. "I'll see you soon, Aly. Food an' all."
"See you later."
"Congratulations again by the way. I can't wait to give you a giant hug!"
She chuckled. "I'm going now. Focus on driving, idiot!"
"Love you!"
"Love you, too!"
She hung up and a smile remained on my lips as I thought about the green-eyed girl waiting for me at home.
***
It was about half an hour later when I got home to Alycia and I's flat. I picked up the takeout, as promised, but I also went to pick up some balloons that had 'congratulations' written on them, and a large bouquet of flowers. I didn't have much time to plan anything major since I'd only just been told the good news, but I wanted to do something for her – she deserved it.
"Alycia? I'm home!" I called out as I managed to get the door open.
"I'm coming!" I heard her call back as I tossed my keys on the kitchen counter, along with the bags of food. "Was their traffic? You took a long– oh..." She walked out from her bedroom and waited by the couch, trying to overcome her surprise.
"Congratulations, darling!" I grinned, a bouquet of flowers in one hand and balloons in the other.
Her hands were raised, covering the grin on her lips. "Y/N..." She moved forward and I held out both things for her, but she ignored them and pulled me in for a hug instead.
"I thought it was me who promised to give you a giant hug," I teased, trying to distract from the fact that my cheeks were growing warm at the close contact. I made some attempt to return the hug, despite my hands being full.
"You didn't have to get me these," she complained in typical Alycia fashion, accepting the balloons, and her utmost favourite, the flowers. She was looking down at them with a grin as she added, "But I appreciate it so much."
I shrugged. "It's not as much as I would have liked to, but it will do for now."
She glanced up and I literally froze as she sent a dazzling smile my way; the kind that lit up her bright emeralds and made me reevaluate my whole existence.
"I'll go put these in a vase," she spoke, her smile still present and myself still frozen. "Thank you."
As she did that, I managed to snap back into reality and pull my coat and shoes off. By then, she had already brought the takeout to the couch and laid it out on the coffee table. I smiled at the sight, watching her pull her pyjama-clad legs up on the couch; her lower lip was jutted out with concentration as she made a plate for herself carefully. I would never get tired of the sight.
I joined her on the couch, too hungry to change before eating, and made myself a plate.
"So?! When do you start filming? What's your character? Details, Aly, I need details!" I urged, giving her my full attention.
She rolled her eyes playfully (and ever-so-adorably), saying, "Filming starts in less than a month. I fly over to Vancouver and it should last about three, four months, depending on availability of everything. I don't know the specifics, but Jason said he'll get back to me ASAP."
I beamed at her. "That sounds amazing!"
She mirrored my expression. "I know! And about my character, I'm not sure I can tell you. The whole thing is under wraps..."
I shook my head. "I haven't even seen the show. I'm sure I can keep the secret."
She laughed melodiously. "You gotta watch the show if you're gonna support me!"
It was my turn to laugh. "I'll binge watch the whole first season starting tomorrow. Swear."
She cocked her head to the side and watched me with a smile. "Cute." I hoped I didn't look as red as I felt. "All I know about my character is that she is some Commander. A leader of people. She's cold, ruthless and dangerous."
"So the complete opposite to you," I deadpanned.
"Pretty much, yeah," she agreed with a chuckle.
I sighed happily. "Gosh, this is just amazing. I'm so proud of you. Have you told your mum?"
Alycia nodded, pausing as she finished chewing her food. "I rang her earlier," she said after swallowing her food. "She was thrilled."
"As expected."
"Yeah." She smiled. "This is surreal."
I shook my head. "Nah, I knew it would happen."
"Yeah, but so soon?" she queried, looking bewildered. "I'm going to Vancouver in less than a month, Y/N!"
"That's so soon," I realised, before frowning. "How am I gonna last three months without you?" I gasped. "Is it too late to decline the role?"
She chuckled, knowing I was kidding. I was, but the implication was still true.
"We can spend the month together," she promised with an amused smile. "I'll slowly wean you off me so that when I leave, you won't even notice."
"Pfft," I pulled a face, "I'm gonna spend every second of this month with you."
She quirked an eyebrow. "Really?" I nodded with confirmation. "What about university?"
"I'll work from home," I quipped.
Her expression didn't change. "And work?"
I looked around, thinking, before deciding, "I'll take you with me. I'm sure the diner won't mind an extra waitress."
Alycia giggled and played along. "Okay, what about when you need to use the bathroom, hm?"
I shrugged. "Easy. I'll hold your hand through the door."
She burst into laughter at this point, having to set her plate on the coffee table before she dropped it. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I watched her laugh at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was. About her, but she didn't need to know that.
"Seriously, Y/N?"
I sighed and set my plate down, too, before moving to sit closer to her so I could hug her arm. "How do you expect me to survive when you're gone?"
She opened her mouth to speak, probably something feigning reassurance, but she eventually smirked and shrugged. "You're right, I do do a lot around here."
"Hey!"
She laughed and I sat up again, facing her.
"You'll be fine," she promised, her voice softer. "And you can ring me whenever you want. Everyday at least."
I smiled. "I like these conditions."
She rolled her eyes again, before shooting me a carefree smile. "Thank you."
"For what?" I asked, noticing she was no longer teasing anymore.
She gave me a knowing look as if I should understand. "For supporting me."
"You don't need to thank me for that, Aly," I told her. "But you're welcome anyway. It's the least I can do for having you as a friend."
A grin fell upon her lips and she met my eyes, the happiness sparkling in her own green-golden ones. God, she was so beautiful.
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writingstarling · 5 years ago
Text
Loki's Memories
Moments after his death in Infinity War, Loki went on a travel down memory lane.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Darkness. It felt as if he was sinking. Sinking into the ocean deep as the light from above went dimmer and dimmer. He tried to swim up, but as he did, bubbles surrounded him. The bubbles circled around him like a whirlpool until finally, he can't see the surface anymore.
The scenery blurred away into an eerily familiar surrounding. White walls, pillars, pristine marble floors, a golden throne. He was back in Asgard, specifically the great hall. A mop of yellow ran past him, short, dirt covered, and seemingly enthusiastic. Muddy footprints imprinted themselves on the once pristine floor every step he took.
"Brother! Brother!" Loki recognised that obnoxious voice anywhere.
"Thor?" he called out, but little Thor couldn't hear him. He looked young. Really young. Probably 4 to 5, he was still in good terms with his brother then.
"Brother, where are you?! I am in need of sharing this fantastic news with you!"
Then emerged, his younger self. A book clutched in his hand. A magic book, Loki guessed. Despite this possibly being his memory, he didn't quite remember it.
"What is it, Brother?"
"I have mastered a little of the groot language art! Watch this! I am Groot! It means 'hello brother'!"
"That is fantastic, Brother," a small smile cracked on his face.
Little Thor grinned proudly. His hands covered in a mixture of mud and dirt pulled little Loki into a bone crushing hug.
"Brother! You are getting dirt on my clothes!"
Thor laughed out heartily, ignoring his brother's cry.
Loki smiled slightly. It was hard not to. That might have been one of the most peaceful moments in his life. He was young, innocent, loved. He loved those moments whether he would admit it or not.
The scene blurred away once again; he was in the library. Unlike the previous memory, he remembered that. He was secretly practicing to shape-shift to surprise his mother. So far, his younger self has failed multiple times.
"Loki?"
Little Loki promptly shut the book, "Yes, Mother?"
"It's late, why are you still up, Child?"
Little Loki settled the book on his lap. The title hidden under his fingers that drummed on it. He contemplated his next move. His mother was raised by witches, lying would be out of the question. However, he still wished to surprise her later on with his newly possessed ability. He finally settled on telling his mother a half-truth with hope that she won't see through him.
"I'm studying for my next magic class, Mother. I would like to get a head start."
Frigga smiled, sliding an arm around his shoulders, "Alright, but do not sleep too late or I shall have you banned from the library for a week."
"Yes, Mother."
She planted a soft kiss on his temple before bidding him goodnight and returning to her quarters.
Loki remembered telling Thor about his plan... which resulted in Thor accidentally blurting it out from excitement. He kept that grudge for a month. Petty, perhaps. But to Thor and him it was fair. He remembered several of Thor's attempts to achieve his forgiveness. Gifts like meat, snakes, swords, and other stuff that Thor was fond of. He did that with the thought that perhaps Loki would enjoy it as much as he did.
After a bit of guidance from their mother, Thor slid in a gift that for once Loki actually enjoyed, and that was the start of his forgiveness.
Perhaps Thor wasn't that unbearable as a child, Loki thought.
The scenery changed again. He was in their garden. Loki could hear panting in the distance that was soon followed by a war cry. Curiosity compelled him to follow the ruckus. Before he could reach the noise, he saw his younger self. A smirk decorated little Loki's lips before he morphed into a snake and slithered through the grass towards the cacophony. Loki spontaneously recognised the event.
Oh, this will be fun, he thought. He quickened his pace. When he arrived at the scene, he tried to find a place to hide before recalling that he was merely an apparition in his own memory.
Little Thor wielded his wooden sword. Slicing, cutting, and stabbing the air as if there were enemies around him. Then came slithering through, his younger self. Thor instantaneously stopped his training.
"Ah, a snake!" Thor cheered. He picked up the snake to admire it.
Loki snickered in the distance. Suddenly, the snake morphed back to the form of little Loki. Little Loki held a knife in his hand.
"Bleah, it's me!" he exclaimed and stabbed little Thor before making his grand retreat.
Loki couldn't help but to lightly chuckle. That was one of the funniest pranks he did. Number one would always be when he turned Thor into a toad, no doubt. Come to think of it, he never really just stop and reminisce the past. Why didn't he?
The scene morphed again; his younger self stood before Odin in the great hall.
"Loki, why can't you just be more like Thor?"
Right. That's why, he sighed. The past was just an admonition of how defective he was compared to his brother.
His brother was -- is a great achiever among Asgardians. He's strong, righteous, brave, and among other things, benevolent. Something their father has decided to become... and he having a hard time to be.
"I apologise, Father. I will strive to be better, as you wish me to," Loki bowed.
He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. The air surrounding them was suffocating; he hated it. He hated how his father wanted him to be something he isn't. To be like Thor. It was infuriating; it vexed him for years. The people repeating the same comment about him. Whispers that they thought he didn't know about.
"He should be more like Thor."
"If only he's more like Thor."
"... like Thor."
Everyone wanted him to be like Thor. Everyone, but his mother. He remembered vaguely of his mother's consolation. When he was still so young and not as strong as steel. When his feelings were still open and fragile like porcelain before it was hid away in layers of masks and deception.
Suddenly, the memory he resided in mirrored the one in his mind. His bedroom; he almost forgot what it looked like. Walls a grass green lined with dark coloured bookshelves replete with various types of books. The ceiling was painted mimicking the infinite cosmos. He had to admit, his ceiling was quite breathtaking. He forced himself to pry away from the astonishing sight of his ceiling to look around once more. Unlike the ceiling, his furniture was rather elementary. A king-sized bed in forest green and a dark oak desk beside it accompanied by a matching chair. However, Loki enjoyed the simplicity of it.
He peered over to his younger self. Little Loki sat on his bed, eyes narrowed at his fists that clutched his garment. His jaw was slightly clenched; it was a subtle fluctuation of muscle, but he recognised it. His younger self was indignant. It wasn't unusual for him to be. The judgement he faced in his childhood was excruciating. It wasn't hard to be indignant.
A knock caught both Lokis' attentions, "Loki, may I please come in?"
It was his mother. Probably checking in on him after another one of his feuds with his father.
"You may enter, Mother."
Frigga entered the room. Little Loki could feel a dip near his spot on the bed, his eyes still trained on his fists. Loki observed them as silence encased the room. His mother was the first to break it.
"So, what was it about this time?"
Silence.
"A failed sword training?"
No reaction.
"An act of mischief against Thor?"
Little Loki shook his head.
"Well then, what has got the God of Mischief to lose his spirit?"
Little Loki clutched on his garment tighter. He bit his lips; a tendency he yearned to expunge. It gave away his mind, his thoughts, his feelings. He couldn't let that. With that thought in mind, he liberated his garment from his vice like grip and his lips from his teeth that sank into it. He took a breather to compose himself; he straightened his posture.
"It was nothing, Mother," he said, a crumpled copy of a smile on his lips.
Frigga frowned, her son lies -- it wasn't rare for him to -- but that. That lie he told to her face, that was different. Loki knew better than to lie to her; she was sure of it.
"Loki, please tell me the truth."
His lips quivered, trembling as he did inside, yet his smile didn't falter. Frigga took note.
"What do you mean, Mother? I just did."
Frigga knew better than to push him at times like this. Because of that, she decided that it would be judicious for her to leave it alone; at least until Loki was more comfortable with telling her. Frigga pulled him into a hug, stroking his head ever so gently as if he would break if she were to put in just the slightest of pressure.
"All right, my son. But if there is anything that exacerbates you, know that I will always be there for you. No matter what."
Both Lokis felt tears pool their eyes. To some, those three words might not mean a lot. But to them, it meant the world. In Frigga's embrace, he broke down. He poured his heart out whilst marinating his mother's dress in his tears.
Don't, Loki commanded himself mentally. The tears threatened to fall.
Don't, he repeated. His body leaned on the wall for support.
Don't, because he knew. He knew once even a single tear rolled down his cheek; he won't be able to stop himself. He won't be able to dam the tears that were begging to plunge.
All of a sudden he fell. The wall, his room, his bed, his younger self, and his mother were gone. He was left alone on the cold ground, fighting back tears.
Cold. He felt cold. That wasn't right. He was a Frost Giant Prince; he's supposed to be invulnerable to the icy sensation. Yet that time, he was freezing. The tears in his eyes were frozen into globules of ice that descended to the ground and shattered like glass. Loki constrained himself to eye his ambience. Blue. He turned left and right and all he could see was blue!
Wait, blue and a wintery feeling that's capable of making him shiver. There's only one place that had the wherewithal of such thing. His birthplace and rightful birthright, Jotunheim. Still, one thing didn't add up.
Why was he cold?
He went to Jotunheim to help his brother in his endeavour of slaying them and when he manufactured a deal with Laufey; he didn't feel cold then, why now?
Suddenly, a cry was heard echoing throughout the place. It was a baby's, perhaps an infant's. Loki hoisted himself up on his feet; he did a sweep of the area to locate the provenance of the commotion. His eyes widened as it landed on a small, blue hand waving around frantically. Loki's steps were cautious when he approached the infant. He had a hunch of who that was. He peeked his head over where the infant lied.
He was right. It was him, as an infant. Abandoned by his biological father to die in the frost before being found by Odin to be used in the future and be disposed off when he was of no use. Wasn't that a phenomenal memory he would just love to relive? His infant self cried to no end. He was probably cold like Loki was a few seconds ago. He inspected his infant self's profile. His eyes were a crimson red while his skin an icy blue. He had quite the chubby cheeks, one that parents love to dote on. In the distance, heavy footsteps were faintly heard.
Odin, he absent-mindedly guessed. His father trudged in; an eye lost and was left as a bloody void.
Odin glanced at baby Loki, his cries catching his attention. Loki scrutinised the situation. Odin staggered his way to Loki's infant self, the son Laufey's ashamed of. In Odin's hands, Loki saw how his younger self transformed slightly in appearance. His once icy blue skin became more humanly as his crimson eyes shift into a grass green. Loki saw something in Odin's eyes.
Pity, he bitterly recognised. He was merely a charity case, with a purpose. A pawn Odin wanted to use to fabricate peace with the Frost Giants.
It repulsed him how he used to strive for Odin's love and attention. Making himself believe that perhaps -- if he were to try hard enough -- that he would finally be Thor's equal. That he would finally gain his father's approval. He never stood a chance and now because his father is gone; he never will. All his past efforts were pointless. He felt like a fool.
Anger burned in his chest similar to a forest fire. Consuming everything in its path. His memories were one of those things. His memories, ones that were once impetus twisted into one he saw as fuel to his rage. The ones that brandished the kindness of his family weren't substantial anymore. He didn't even know what wonderful memories are anymore.
He never had any of that before. How was he supposed to know?
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Ending coming soon!
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asteriaways · 6 years ago
Text
Everybody Knows Part 5
Hiya everybody! The long awaited Chapter 5 is here!!! Don’t die of excitement, please.
I worked really hard on this, so please like and reblog!!!!!
Warnings: Swearing, fluff. Fluff. FLUFF.
A/N: Guys, we are almost at 100 followers!!!!!!! Please remember to like and reblog, and send me asks of what you want to happen next.
Song: Inspired by Back to You by Selena Gomez and Human by Christina Perri
It means so much that everyone reads this story, I wrote it as a means to escape and now it’s become big and omg it makes my heart soar x
Onto the story!!!
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The soft morning light light streamed through the blinds as you slowly stirred, twisted around as you stretched. You sat up, immediately clutch your head, groaning as pain spiked throughout every region of your brain.
You quickly looked around, taking stock of your surroundings. One thing was for sure- you were not at Freddie’s. So where were you? You scanned your alcohol ravaged memory, trying to pice together a coherent thought. You remembered a pub, a car park, 2 bottles of vodka - shit, that would explain the hangover- and a pair of the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen. Suddenly the room shifted in your brain- you recognised the posters, the bedcovers- even that stupid music notebook you gave him two years ago laid on the bedside table, stuffed to the brim with budding sings and works of art.
You leaped our, ignoring the stabbing in your head as you ran out into the sitting room of the house you knew so well.
Shit. Shitty shit shit shit shit.
‘Hey.’ A soft voice said as you looked around wildly. You spun around, seeing Roger in a dressing gown, holding out a glass of water and two panadol tablets.
‘This will help with your hangover.’
‘What the actual FUCK am I doing here? I swear to god if we-‘
‘Whoa, whoa, whoa. To answer the question that I know you’re thinking- no, we did not fuck. I found you in a car park, completely wasted, so against my better judgement I brought you here so you didn’t collapse and drink yourself to death.’
Your gaze softened without even meaning to. ‘But..... Where did you sleep?’
He pointed to the leather couch, which was covered in blankets and pillows. ‘I slept on the couch. Now take the goddamn Panadol before I shove it down your throat.’ He threatened, shoving them in your face. You groaned and obliged, quickly sculling the water as if it was the desert and you hadn’t drank anything in days. God, you needed that.
‘Now, I can’t cook, but I can make tea. Ya want some?’ Roger said, getting two mugs out of the cupboard.
‘Why are you being so nice to me?’ You blurted. You clapped your hand around your mouth, eyes widening. Shit. You thought you only said that in your head.
‘Because, 1) Above all else, you are my friend, and friends help each other out, and 2) because I was a stupid dick and I couldn’t keep it in my pants and because of that I lost the best thing that ever happened to me.’
Your mouth opened as your jaw dropped, catching flies. Well, that was unexpected.
‘Rog, that doesn’t change the fact that you cheated on me. It’s over.’
He rolled his eyes, pouring hot water into the chopped cups. ‘I know. And I’m really sorry- but I know I can’t make it better. But do you really think I’m that much of a dick that I would leave my friend out in the world, completely shitfaced? I’m not that much of an asshole, Y/N.’
You sighed, taking the tea he offered you. You took a sip, a small smile gracing your lips as you realised he made it just the way you liked it. Slowly looking over the rim of your cup, you surveyed his tired face. It was these unguarded moments, the ones where all the filters disappeared, when you really saw the person. They dropped the mask- sometimes unintentionally- and it was then and only then that you could observe their true nature. Everyone puts up a filter. Whether it be their words, their emotions, their feelings. But sometimes, just sometimes, you could catch a glimpse of someone unfiltered- if you were lucky.
So you studied his face. He didn’t look like he usually did- cocky, arrogant and deranged. Instead, he looked.... tired. Exhausted. As if the weight of the world was crashing down on his shoulder and he couldn’t shake the weight off.
You lifted your hand, subconsciously bringing his face towards you. You studied his expression, and then, and only then, did you notice the fading bruise on his face. You lightly brushed the purple stain with your fingertips, feeling his shiver beneath your touch. You caressed it, completely forgetting that you weren’t in a relationship. His eyes bored into you as your breath hitched in your throat, the cup of tea forgotten as you gazed into each other’s eyes.
‘D- did Deaky do this?’ You asked breathlessly, breaking the spell.
‘Yeah- but to be fair, I deserved it.’ He whispered, lowering his gaze.
‘I’d drink to that.’
‘No! I don’t want you getting drunk again. Speaking of which, you must be dying in that dress. I think I have some old clothes of yours in my room- just have a look around, I never got around to moving them. Now go and have a shower- you stink.’
You shook your head, bringing yourself back to reality. You were broken up and he was looking after you- no feelings whatsoever.
You sighed, standing up and putting your cup on the counter. ‘Okay, thanks. I’ll be right back.’ You scurried off into his bedroom, hiding your blushing face.
He busied himself with cleaning up, trying to distract his aching heart that constantly lingered on you- Y/N L/N, the one that got away. He heard the water being turned off but only registered it when you walked out, your wet hair in a towel and wearing a pair of pyjama pants and- was that his Led Zeppelin top?
You noticed him staring and blushed, your face flushing a pleasant shade of pink. You wrapped your arms around yourself- why? Roger wondered- as you stammered an apology.
‘I couldn’t find my tops and these were all I could find and so I grabbed your shirt- I hope that’s okay.’
He reluctantly tore his eyes away from you, trying to look anywhere but at you. God, you were so beautiful.
‘It’s- it’s okay, keep it. It always looked better on you anyway.’
You shook your head, eyes widening. ‘No, no, I couldn’t possibly do that. It’s your shirt and I shouldn’t and, ugh, I’m so sorry, my head still hurts so I’m still a bit fuzzy and-‘
Roger rolled his eyes, tired of your nervous blabbering. He took a quick step forward, coming so close that if you moved even an inch, you would end up kissing. Your breathing stopped- it was if the world instead had frozen as you stared into each other’s eyes, all previous thoughts forgotten. Was this a fantasy? Was this the real life? Or was this just another figment of your imagination running wild and untamed.
‘Look, I’m so sorry, but I just needed the top-‘ you started to apologise, but we’re cut off by the soft feel of his lips on yours. They were sweet, almost hesitant as you instinctively kissed back, winding your fingers through his hair, winding your fingers through his fluffy golden hair as he gripped your waist gently, still kissing you.
He was the one who broke away, gasping for air. You looked at him, your mouth opening as you realised what you just did.
‘No. No no no nononononononononono. I can’t do this!! We broke up, Rog. No!’ You cried, running into the bathroom, slamming the door and sliding down it as you touched your lips, feeling the ghost of his kiss still touch you.
Fuck. No matter how hard you tried to deny it, to say that it couldn’t- wouldn’t- happen, it still was there.
You, Y/N L/N, were still completely and utterly in love with Roger Meddows Taylor, drummer from Queen.
Ask to be on my taglist!!
@mxrcury-love @will-ptx @dreamer821 @marequeenii @mrsmazzello @11mb0 @rogerlad
So sorry if I forgot anyone! I’m very sleep deprived atm heh
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isthisthingeven0n · 6 years ago
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shut away : d.d
there is a bit of a trigger warning to be had surrounding drinking problems. so if you’re easily affected by alcoholism or minor depression I advise you not to read this. i am writing from experiences, though some exaggerated for the story. but if you need any help, please seek it out. 
if you’re interested in more ‘light hearted’ reads I will do those too. I am a bit of a diverse writer and experiment 247 with styles, and this is one I’ve perfected. 
feedback is greatly appreciated. thank you. 
brief summary: reader struggles with drinking, and all david wants to do is help
It’s not always easy. 
Sometimes, things just get on top of you. They get a bit too intense and before you know it, you’re seeking something to lean on. 
And for me, that was alcohol. 
I’m not exactly sure when it began. I think I was just at a party with everyone, we were all drinking and some of us drank way too much. 
That night I was floating. I remember vaguely David filming me, I told him to not include it as my parents would be ashamed. He obliged. ‘It’s what friends do.’ He told me. 
But then it became more of a casual occurrence, something unknown and that I hid away from the others when I saw them. I would always drink a lot of coffee before hanging out, get my energy levels up and keep up this facade that I was perfectly fine. 
That’s the thing about a facade. 
It can’t last forever. 
*
For about a month Y/n has been distant. She’s not really been answering anyone's calls or texts. And when someone goes to check on her in her apartment there’s no response. 
Walking into the kitchen Todds with Corrina, “Anyone heard from Y/n? I’ve been trying to get in touch with her to film but she’s not answering my texts. 
Todd shakes his head, and Corrina does the same. A concern is growing for all of us surrounding Y/n. 
In all the year I’ve known her, she’s never done this. 
When she moved here I wanted her to feel comfortable. She’s been my closest friend since Vine began, and not hearing from her consistently like this isn’t right. 
“I might go to her place, check if she’s there,” I spoke up and they both agreed to come with me. 
*
Knocks keep happening. 
Voices keep occurring. 
But I just want to drown them all out. 
I find myself in another bottle, and then it’s gone. So I pick up another. 
It’s a never-ending process these days. 
*
Standing at her door Todd sighs, “Maybe she’s gone home for a few days and forgot to let us know?” He suggests, but I shake my head. I know Y/n too well, she wouldn’t have done that without dropping me a message first. 
“Or, maybe she’s lost her phone?” Corrina chimes in, but that wouldn’t explain her absence in person. 
“Let’s come back later. She might be out somewhere right now.” Todd pats my shoulder and they both head back to my car. But I stand still, something doesn’t feel right. 
I can just tell. 
*
My body begins to shiver. 
I look around but everything is blurry. 
Lifting my legs close to my chest I shut my eyes, wanting it to disappear, wanting to feel normal again. 
I want it all back.
I don’t want this anymore.
*
Days of the same routine repeat themselves. 
I’m off my game, vlogs are harder to film and edit no matter how enthusiastic we all act. Everyone is worried, and fans are noticing Y/n’s absence. 
I continue to edit, unsure what else to do as a distraction, and without any warning Corrina bursts my door open, everyone following behind her with similar expressions of panic and fear. 
Immediately I know it’s about Y/n. “This better not be some fucking prank.” I speak through gritted teeth, unsure how to react as their expressions remain unphased. 
“David,” Corrina tries to speak, but her voice breaks. Todd hugs her close to him, and Jason steps forward. 
He enters my room, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Y/n got in touch with Carly. She rang us as soon as her plane landed.” His voice is too sincere for my liking, too unlike Jason as his usual smile is gone. A worried line across his lips instead of a big grin. 
“Where is she?” Anger begins to fill my voice as heat rushes through my veins. I want to barge past them all, but Jason holds me back. 
“She is in her apartment. She really needs you, David. Everything has fallen apart for her in the past few months and none of us knew. 
I nod, trying to fight back tears. But when I look up everyone is glossy eyed. We all share the same worry, the anger that we didn’t notice it, we didn’t see any sign she was struggling or calling out for help. 
Without another word, I walked past everyone, grabbed my car keys and left. My mindset on her, hoping it isn’t as bad as the images my mind is conjuring. 
*
Tears keep falling. I can’t remember not crying at this point. But I remember calling Carly, sobbing to her unable to say anything between sobs other than his name. 
The one person I know I need. Who can hold me and not have any judgement. 
I can’t see my apartment. I can’t see the state I’ve let it fall into. 
I just hope he isn’t ashamed of me. 
*
Pulling up I barely park in a straight line and almost forget to shut the engine off as my legs rush ahead of my mind to her front door. 
I knock quietly, unsure what to say. “Y/n, it’s me. I, I’m here alone.” I swallow the growing lump in my throat, I want to be strong her, or at least seem it. “Please let me in. I just want to help you.” 
After a few minutes of silence, I can hear movement. Slow, heavy footsteps and the struggle of pulling the chain from the locks. 
But then the door is ajar for me. 
I take a deep breath and open it. 
Before me is a sight I never expected to see from her. I can barely believe my eyes at the sight of her floor being scattered with bottles, every surface containing more than one bottle or can half drunk. 
The flowers she loved to have on display have all died, they’ve begun to rot. 
Her bright, warm flat has become dire. It’s lifeless. 
I turn my head to see her bedroom door open. And when I see a lifeless figure on her bed, hanging off I rush over to her. 
“Y/n?” I pull her hair away from her face, though it sticks to her cheek as dried vomit clings to the corner of her mouth. 
She slowly lifts her head so I can fully see her. And the mere sight brings tears to my eyes. 
The bright glimmer in her eyes we all knew too well has been crushed. A heaviness of all of life weighs deeply in her eyes. Her face is paler than normal, her glow sucked out of her. 
I help lift her up, her body falling into me as she struggles to walk like a toddler taking their first steps. 
“One step at a time, yeah?” I whisper and she eventually nods. 
Once we reach the bathroom it smells worse than her room. The growing stench makes my skin crawl, but I place the seat down so she can rest there.
She keeps her head low, avoiding me as I take a towel and dampen it. “I’m sorry.” She mutters, and out of the corner of my eye, I see her shoulders rapidly rising and falling. 
I kneel in front of her, my hands resting on her knees. “Y/n,” I say clearly, and her eyes meet mine. “you do not need to apologise. Don’t apologise about this ever. I’m here now, and I want to help.” 
She merely nods as I wipe the dried vomit and crusted mascara from under her eyes away. I help her get undressed to a certain point leaving her in her underwear as I run her a bath. 
I keep my back turned to her and walk out of the door, but she mumbles my name. “Can you sit here with me? I don’t want to be alone.” I stutter, unsure about seeing my best friend in a bathtub. But I sit down next to her as she submerges herself. 
We sit in silence as I help her clean up. I try to wash her hair as she covers her face to avoid soap in her eyes. And when the bath drains she stands up, allowing me to wrap her in a towel. 
Helping her out of the bath we walk together into her room. I quickly make the bed, placing a blanket over it as she sits there, motionless. 
“I don’t have any clean clothes left.” She mumbles. 
“I brought a bag with me. Got some bits for you that the girls collected. Underwear and things.” 
She lifts her head, water dripping off he hair onto her lap. “Why are you helping me? I disappeared from everyone.” 
I move closer to her, wrapping my arm around her. “Because, because I care about you more than anyone. I don’t want you to struggle alone. Whatever this is, I want to help any way I can.” 
Lifting my head I lightly kiss her forehead and stand up, going through to her doorway to grab the bag of things the girls packed. 
“David?” I rush back to her room to find her the way I left her. “Thank you.” 
*
He helps me get into something clean. Something comfortable. 
As I stand there he changes the bedding, something that doesn’t smell like damp, or of vodka. 
Instead, I smell him. I smell his aftershave and sweetness that I have missed. 
We both get into the fresh bedding. He wraps his arms tightly around me as I sob into him. The longing for this, for him. 
“Get some sleep Y/n. Tomorrow is another day, and I’m not going anywhere.” 
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turnupswritessometimes · 6 years ago
Text
Banana Fish - AshEiji - As Long As You’re Smiling - Full Fic
Title: As Long As You’re Smiling
Part: All 3
Word Count: 10,241
Description:  Cinderella AU! What it says on the tin - Ash Lynx gets a three day pass to the ball the Prince is throwing to find himself a wife. But it turns out the Prince isn't quite after a wife. And Ash isn't just after a night off and a nice outfit.
Edit: This fic is also available on A03 and ff.net under the same name. I would post a direct link but Tumblr then doesn’t put the post in searches so..
1
The first night Ash tells himself he’s not even going until he steps through the door. And then he thinks that he’ll at least try to scrounge some food, if it’s not too rich to make him feel ill. Because he’s already here, so he might as well make the most of it before he slips out without being noticed.
But then he realises that people are looking at him. More than looking. They’re outright staring at him. He hopes its just because he’s a little bit late. But it makes him tug his shirt sleeves down and his skin prickle.
This was a bad idea, he decides. He should never have accepted the offer of a new outfit and three nights at a ball.  So, he took a step backwards. This was a mistake. Just stepping into the palace, that had been enough. That had been enough of an escape. Just to see what opulence – non-tacky opulence that was all deep blues and white golds – looked like. It was subtle, like it was trying to hide just how much money was in this room.
It had caught Ash’s eye and he lingered there in the doorway for too long, because suddenly someone was talking to him.
“Would you like to dance?”
He blinked, his heart lurching, as he looked back down from the chandeliers. Someone was talking to him – someone had noticed him. That hadn’t been part of the plan.
But there he was. A soft smile on his face as he looked up at Ash. He had to swallow at the smile – because he looked awkward. Like he too didn’t want all this attention and wanted to personally apologize to Ash for it. Like he wouldn’t be able to commandeer the attention of the whole room.
Because this was the prince.
The prince with an awkward, shy smile and shiny hair that flopped over his forehead.
And he had just asked Ash to dance.
“No.” He said, without even really thinking. He cleared his throat, because now he realised why the whole room was staring at the two of them and right now he just wanted to leave. “No, thank you. I’m not – I’m no dancer.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” the prince let out a laugh that was more of a breath. “Because the thought has been haunting me for weeks.”
Ash found himself smirking. Just like that. Just like that he forgot about leaving and tilted his head towards this awkward boy.
“Well in that case,” he said, slowly. “Maybe I am.”
The prince’s eyes widened – Ash was just realising now how dark they were and how they managed to reflect whole chandeliers in them – he spoke quickly.
“No, it’s okay. Maybe,” his eyes flickered down, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He looked back up at Ash with that same awkward smile. “Maybe we could just talk?”
Talk? That was the last thing he had been expecting to do.
But he had forgotten about leaving and he couldn’t say no to a prince twice. Not one that was smiling with pink cheeks.
So he waved a hand vaguely. “Sure.”
And the smile he got for that. Like he had just made this boys week. His own smile felt awkward and forced. It was probably more of a smirk.
The Prince's fingers brushed his elbow- too quick and too light of a touch to make Ash flinch. Just enough to make him follow him through the crowd of glittering people. Everyone seemed to shine here. Ash wondered if he really stood out that much.
Obviously, he thought as he stepped around a couple to keep that dark head of hair in sight.
And then the stepped out onto a balcony and everything was much more quiet. The prince glanced back, to check Ash was still following.
From up here, the kingdom was beautiful. Ash was momentarily distracted by the collection of lights. It was like the milky way had crashed to earth. He didn't think he'd ever get a view like this.
Against his will, his eyes started seeking out /that/ place. He closed them. Took a breath and leant against the balcony rail.
When he looked up, the Prince's eyes were on him. He was leaning against the balcony too, his back to the kingdom. He looked concerned and Ash found himself smiling quickly. Don't let anyone see, he told himself. Never let anyone see.
"This is nice," he managed to say, and for some reason that made the Prince laugh. His eyes crinkled when he smiled and for some reason Ash felt his heart stammer.
“I’m Eiji, by the way.” He held out a hand.
“You’re the prince.” Ash didn't move.
“Eiji.”
“Alright.” That was when Ash took his hand. He had a warm touch.
“And you?” Eiji was still smiling.
“Me?” He pretended to be clueless.
“Do you have a name?”
For a moment, he wanted to give him his real name, because it was as good as giving a fake name. He couldn’t bring himself to.
“Ash Lynx.”
“Ash?”
“Ash.”
"That's an interesting name."
Ash wanted to laugh at that. Interesting. What an interesting word. An interesting word said by an even more interesting boy.
"It's hardly even a name." He said. He didn't know why - maybe because a part of him wanted the Prince to scoff. To agree with him.
A part of him wanted to hear him say 'that's an interesting name' again. In that soft tone of voice. Like Ash was a person. Like Ash was an interesting person - worth his time.
"Well it sounds a lot better than Eiji." The Prince tugged at his ear, ducking his head as he leant against the balcony. Ash could barely see his face. He had to lean forward too, one elbow on the railing, grinning just to try and get Eiji to look at him again. For some reason, those dark eyes didn't make his skin crawl. Those dark eyes made him feel interesting.
"Prince Eiji." He said.
"Ugh, don't," Eiji glanced at him then - a cringed, embarrassed glance. He smiled like he was apologising for something. "I can't - I hate hearing that. It makes me feel so much more competent than I am."
He did laugh, then, and Eiji did too. Just a little bit. For a moment, they were laughing together. That felt incredible. That he was making this Prince who didn't want to be a Prince laugh. And it didn't matter - who Eiji was or who he was - none of it mattered. They were just on a balcony at a party  - laughing.
At a party  - the thought stuck in Ash's mind. He was turned from the kingdom, so that he faced the huge glass windows that were lit yellow from the inside. The palace was glowing and full of shadows of people. Hundreds of people, all here to see the boy at his side. The boy who didn't want to dance from Ash - didn't want to do anything but talk.
People didn't talk to Ash. Not to him. They talked at him.
"So why me?" he asked and hated how soft the question sounded coming from his mouth. Ash Lynx wasn't vulnerable. "Out of everyone in there, why choose me to talk to...your majesty?"
Eiji cringed and gave him a playful shove. His hand tingled where it pressed against Ash's arm, as though there would be a handprint left from him.
"You looked like you were about to leave and, as someone who wanted very much to leave, I thought we had something in common." He said it like it was simple, looking up at Ash. The picture of innocence.
"You don't want a ball thrown in your honour?"
"Not when I'm meant to be finding a wife," he was speaking carefully. Like he knew he shouldn't say it and was going against his better judgement. He sighed, turning back to stare at the lights in the distance, his eyes half closed. "Honestly, I don't know if love exists. I've never felt like I'm in love. Not with any girl, anyway."
They had something in common, then, Ash thought. He had long since abandoned the idea of love. Love was for idealists. Love was for gullible people. He had thought he was the only one who had thought so - but here was a Prince, agreeing with him. The thought was comforting - it sent a whole rush of warmth through his chest. He wasn't alone. Maybe he wasn't broken.
Or someone else was broken right along with him.
But that was heavy and that would lead him to admit too much. There was something in the air tonight - the anonymity of the party tempting them both too share too much. If the Prince knew, who he really was, Ash suspected he would be darting back into the party and murmuring a polite word to the guard. An 'excuse me, please through that man out. He doesn't belong here.'
He wouldn't be able to deal with that. He had been given a snippet - a snippet of friendliness and he wasn't about to through it all away. All he wanted, in that moment, was to see Prince Eiji laugh again.
"So it wasn't love at first sight?" he asked. He leant forward slightly and they were close. Too close, really, he thought. His hair was falling forward, almost touching Eiji's face. "You weren't blinded by my beauty?"
"What beauty?" Eiji wasn't pulling away from him. Just staring up at him with those innocent eyes. No, not innocent. Playful. The eyes of a kitten.
That threw him off. He blinked, feeling as though he had been pushed over. That was all anyone said - the first thing they said. The last thing they said. Eyes, hair, face, body - it was all beautiful, apparently.
"Just - everywhere I go - I get told – it sounds like bragging, but it’s not - but everyone says about my looks. I figured, in this..." he lost his confidence, pulled away and was suddenly looking at his hands.
"Well, you are handsome," Eiji leant against him, so that their shoulders brushed together. Why was it comforting? Why wasn't Ash pulling away? "But it was definitely more the wanting to leave...you looked scared. I just knew, then, that I didn't want you to be scared. And maybe I was the only one who could stop you being so scared."
A lynx in the headlights. A cat up a tree. He had been scared. He didn't belong in this world. In that moment, he was scared that he hadn't been fooling anybody. That they had all seen through him and were wondering what he was doing there. How dare he be there?
He had been scared. But Ash Lynx was never scared. Not anymore.
"You're weird," he said, instead.
And there was that laugh. He couldn't get enough of hearing that laugh.
“I can take weird.”
He was still standing close to Ash - still letting his bangs trail over his forehead. Like he wasn't scared or repulsed. Like a boy staring straight into a lion's mouth. That made Ash's heart stutter. The smile and the not-flinching-
It was too much. He stepped away and pushed his hair back into place, his heart begging to race away from his ribcage and never return. He had half a mind to let it. It would make this all so much easier. He didn't ask for a Prince.
Ash was aware that there was a silence stretching in between them. He knew he should fill it but he had no idea what to say now.
"Why don't we..." Eiji's voice was soft. Hesitant. "Why don't I show you around?"
"A tour?"
"Sure."
Ash glanced at him, he was still smiling but he looked unsure of himself. One hand on his other arm, like he was stopping it from moving of its own accord.
"Don't you have a party to get back to?"
Eiji shrugged and smiled, his head titled to one side like a mischievous puppy. “Part of a party is entertaining my guests.”
“Guest.” Ash corrected. He looked back through the windows, at the shadows of the people drinking, chatting and dancing. “You won’t be able to get through there unnoticed.”
“Then we’ll go another way,” Eiji said. He hadn’t even blinked before he had one leg over the balcony. He sat on top of the rail like it was completely natural.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s not that far down.”
He was gone the next moment, down the side of the balcony. As he fell, the trails on his jacket flared out behind him like wings. The Prince was flying.
There was a pile of leaves, and the white figure in the darkness bounced off of it. He rolled to his feet as though it was second nature to him. Eiji looked up at him, his dark hair caught by the breeze.
“You’re crazy!” Ash called down. He was half-bent over the balcony, trying to catch his breath. His heart had skipped a beat and now it was working double time.
“Weird and crazy – I could have you beheaded for treason, Ash Lynx!” Eiji called up to him. It really wasn’t that far down – he could still see that grin on Eiji’s face.
Ash just shook his head. He couldn’t believe he was laughing, or that he was seriously considering jumping off a balcony.
“I’ll catch you if you’re scared?” Eiji leant backward on the balls of his feet, looking the picture of innocence.
“Ash Lynx doesn’t get scared.” He said, swinging his over leg over the railing. It really wasn’t that far down, but looking down like this made the ground wobble. He closed his eyes – if Eiji could do it – so could he.
And he wanted to know what it felt like to fly.
Ash took a breath – and pushed off from the balcony.
There was no way that he looked as graceful as Eiji as he fell. For just a moment, the wind rushed around him and he was completely weightless. Free.
Then he landed in the leaves with a bump. He was winded again – trying to catch his breath.
When he opened his eyes, Eiji was above him, still smiling. He held out a hand and Ash took it without thinking. He had good hands – warm, soft hands.
“You did great,” Eiji said. He flicked his fringe out of his eyes in a way that Ash was sure made young girls blush and giggle.
“You’re a good liar,” Ash said and Eiji laughed. He realised Ash’s hand and suddenly it seemed too empty.
“Come on, I’ll show you the gardens,” he said, jerking his head, but then he paused. His eyes searched Ash and he stepped forward again.
He braced himself without realizing it, his gut clenching as Eiji raised a hand. But then he pulled away, with a leaf between his fingers. He smiled like it was nothing, then started across the lawn.
Ash forced himself to find his breath. And followed.
The grounds of the castle were drenched in moonlight – casting silver onto indigo leaves and grass. The bushes were all manicured back into neat little shapes, planned around paths full of rounded stones. Stones from a fairy tale, looking faintly blue, green and red. They curved around huge fountains that looped water into the sky, the droplets sparkling like diamonds were being sprayed everywhere.
Eiji walked next to him and Ash could see him glancing across at him every few moments. Their hands were close, Ash realised, and let his knuckles trail across Eiji’s just to see what would happen if he turned his palm and entertwined their fingers.
He didn’t. But he didn’t pull away either.
They didn’t seem to be going a certain way, or down a certain path. It was like they were simply wandering through this dreamland. Ash threw his head back. It was difficult to make out the stars with the obnoxious light from the palace, but he could still find a few.
“Do you know the constellations?” Eiji asked, softly. He had been watching him, like he was nervous.
“I know some,” Ash said. “I had a star map, but I could never see the shapes in the sky.”
“I can’t get my head around it.”
His hand brushed against Ash’s. His stomach leapt.
“Uh, there.” He pointed at the sky, stepping closer to Eiji so that it was easier for him to follow his finger. “That – that’s the end of leo, I think. So that goes up, and that’s the rest of it.”
“You think?”
“I think.”
Eiji laughed, turning his head into Ash’s shoulder. A lock of dark hair curled on Ash’s jacket. He liked seeing it there.
“This way,” Eiji said, and turned down a much smaller path. A path with trellises that went over their heads and blocked out the moonlight. It was black – so dark that his white suit seemed to glow in the dark.
The stones went away, replaced by dirt. It made Ash wonder just where he was being led and just how far from the palace they had gone. Where was he going? And why didn’t he care? He felt safe, walking down this path in the dark. The dark always made him feel safe, and even though he had only just met this boy an hour ago, he trusted him. He trusted him like he hadn’t trusted anyone in years. Not since his brother died. That was when he had been picked up and cared for by men who seemed kind.
Seemed kind.
He closed his eyes, pushing away the moment that he realised they weren’t kind. They weren’t kind at all. That kindness came at a price.
“Here.” Eiji’s voice cut across the memories and Ash was all too ready to return to the real world.
Only this couldn’t be the real world. This was a fairy’s paradise with overgrown grass and rose bushes and weeping willows who’s leaves brushed the ground like they were mournful women dipping their fingers into a stream.
“This is the part I’m allowed to take care of,” Eiji continued. He was a step in front of Ash, framed by wilderness.
“Take care of?” Ash hadn’t meant to be sarcastic – he hadn’t meant to be teasing. He had meant to say that it was beautiful – that it was almost as beautiful as the Prince who took care of it, but his mouth had rebelled against him.
“I know it’s overgrown, okay?” Thank God Eiji was smiling back at him. His fingers ran over the edge of a nearby rose. A drop of dew fell from it, sparkling like a shooting star. A wish flashed across Ash’s mind – that this never ended.
“But I can’t bring myself to cut any of it back,” Eiji said. “It’s nature – it’s meant to grow. It’s not meant to be cut into dogs or horses or any of that.”
“You’re right,” Ash said. He couldn’t tell what colour the roses were meant to be in the night. “It’s beautiful.”
“And look.” Eiji’s hand went as if to take Ash’s elbow, but thought better of it. “There’s a fairy ring. Here.”
He stepped forward, into the mess that was the lawn and crouched to show Ash the spot. He found himself smiling as he joined him there, his eyes picking out the circle of round, white mushrooms. A fairy ring. A Prince who still got excited about fairy rings.
Then again, Ash had a fairy Godfather now. Maybe fairy rings and wishing on stars weren’t such a fanciful thing after all.
Eiji glanced up, his eyes full of sparkles as he examined Ash’s face. Realised he was smiling at him and reading that smile. He smiled back, teeth glinting in the darkness.
Ash’s eyes got stuck on that smile. That mouth. He didn’t think about kissing – not in the way of just wanting to know what someone’s else’s mouth felt like. Of just wanting to feel those lips and nothing else.
He put a hand in the fairy ring as he leant forward, to steady himself. The grass was wet. He didn’t think about what he was doing – he didn’t want to – he just wanted to stay in this dream.
Eiji didn’t pull away. In fact, his hand came up, his fingertips just brushing Ash’s chest.
Their lips brushed against each other’s. Eiji’s mouth was warm, slightly open. When their mouths touched, his hand pressed into Ash, finding a grip on his shoulder. His stomach was leaping – flying like a Prince over a balcony. This was a fairy tale. This had to be a fairy tale.
 If it was, then he should have seen it coming. Sleeping Beauty was woken by a kiss.
Because it was at that moment that he heard the clock chime.
Midnight.
He pulled away, scrambling to his feet. Eiji’s hand fell, his eyes widened.
“I’m sorry,” Ash said, talking quickly because he could hear another chime. And another. “It’s not you – it’s – I have to – I have to go.”
“Go?” He might as well have punched Eiji round the face.
“I have to – I’m sorry.”
The words rang in his ears as he ran through the gardens. Back through the dark tunnel and back around the fountains and bushes. He slipped down the stairs and reached the carriage – the round white carriage. Was it already looking amber? He wasn’t sure.
At least he was around the corner before the spell broke.
He had broke it, he thought. It had been the kiss that had ruined everything and made the night end. He wasn’t a mysterious boy at a party anymore. He was Ash Lynx. Someone like Ash Lynx was not supposed to be anywhere near the Prince.
It didn’t matter, he told himself. He shouldn’t care so much. He hadn’t asked for a Prince. He had asked to go to a party and not have anyone trying to pull his clothes of.
He hadn’t asked for a Prince.
But now he wasn’t so sure that he didn’t want one.
2
On the second day, Ash danced. Eiji spotted him as soon as he entered in the same white outfit that made him stand out so completely from everyone. Blonde hair and green eyes tended to stand out.
He wasn’t sure why he went. He had ruined everything. He had kissed the boy and ran away the next moment – what made him think that Eiji would even want to see him again?
But the party was supposed to go on for three nights. The spell lasted for three nights. If this was his one chance, then he would have to make the most of it. He had managed to sneak out, why not make the most of it?
So he was here again, standing in a ballroom and wondering why he had bothered. Deep down he knew. As soon as the Prince with dark hair and a sparkling smile turned around, he knew. It was because of him. It was because he glowed. Because he was wearing midnight blue with gold trimmings and it made him look fan-freakin-tastic. It made Ash’s heart stammer. He was something else. He was not the men Ash knew.
He was someone that Ash wanted to be with. Just to catch a little bit of that glow.
Eiji made a beeline for him as soon as he saw him. There was a gold band in his hair and it made his skin look gold.
“Ash Lynx.” Whole chandeliers were reflected in Eiji’s eyes as he smiled up at Ash. Like he wasn’t angry. Like last night was completely perfect.
"Hello, sweetie," he didn't know what on earth possessed him to say that. He had no idea what power was making him wrap and arm around Eiji's waist and pull him towards him. Maybe he wanted everyone to know. He wanted everyone to see that the street cat was the Prince’s favourite. That out of everyone here, he had chosen Ash. That he was the one making the Prince flush pink and laugh.
And because he was certainly no bride. Certainly, he wouldn’t be approved of as a match for the Prince.
He hates the eyes – he can’t stand the eyes – so he should at least give them something to look at.
“Are you going to dance with me today?” Eiji asked.
“Only if I can lead.” It came easy to him.
Eiji laughed again – a louder laugh that made people’s eyes widen around them. That makes people turn and stare at the two of them.
“Fine,” Eiji said. His hand was on Ash’s shoulder. Just the way it had been last night. Ash can still feel the feeling of his lips against his mouth – as soft as kissing a rose petal. He had kept the feeling on his lips – turning his head away to keep that moment in his mind. That moment had gotten him through the day.
Eiji stepped away from him, his hand finding Ash’s to lead him across the ballroom floor. It reflected the ceiling – or maybe the ceiling was reflecting the floor but everything seemed to be gold and shiny. Too much for Ash too look at, so he kept his eyes on the back of Eiji’s head. He could see himself reflected in the gold band – just a sliver of his face. Green eyes. Cat’s eyes.
He wasn’t sure he knew how to dance. The thought only occurred to him when he was taking Eiji’s waist again and their hands were entwined with each other. When the band was starting up and people were starting to move around them. So he started moving, they way that he had imagined dancing to be.
And Eiji followed him, his eyes searching his like he was something incredible.
“I’m sorry,” Ash said.
“That you’re not a dancer?” Eiji said. “I can lead, if you like.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Ash replied. “But sure.”
It was strange how easily it switched. How the control moved from Ash to Eiji and suddenly he was letting his feet follow his, his hand gently tugging him to tell him when he was supposed to turn.
“I meant about last night.”
“Ah,” Eiji looked down then and it felt like the sun had stopped shining on him. “Are you regretting ever talking to me?”
“No!” People turned again – disapproving glances at the boy who was yelling whilst dancing. “No – this isn’t about you? Why are you making this so hard?”
Eiji giggled, his smile turning mischievous. “Because I know what you’re going to apologise for, and I don’t think you need to.”
“You deserve an explanation.”
“Maybe.”
“It wasn’t you. It really wasn’t anything to do with you.”
“You said.”
Ash could only stare down at him, almost missing the next few steps in the dance. He stumbled and he knew there were even more glares and stares at him.  This boy – this boy who didn’t care about the fact that he had fled like a scared rabbit.
“I mean, you did shock me,” Eiji continued. “It wasn’t great. You made me feel like I wasn’t a good kisser.”
“That’s not – you were a great kisser.”
“You can hardly say that – we hardly…” Eiji trailed off, his chest hitching like he was short of breath. His cheeks darkened and he bit his lip. Ash wasn’t sure if that was on purpose. But now all he could think about was that kiss.
“I just – I had to be home.” Ash said. “I hadn’t realised how late it was.”
“You have a curfew?” Eiji was smiling.
“Is that a surprise?”
“It is. A boy with a name like Ash Lynx has a curfew and he sticks to it.”
“I had to.”
“Well I hope your parents accepted the excuse that you were kissing a Prince instead of running home.”
Ash paused, focusing on the feeling of his dress shoes sliding over the floor. It was as smooth as glass.
“I don’t have parents.” He admitted.
Eiji pressed closer to him. So that his chest nudged against Ash’s and they almost tripped over each other’s feet.
“I don’t either,” he said. He spoke slowly, like he had never said it out loud before. “Ibe takes care of me – the archduke. It was his idea to have this ball – to make sure that I’m well cared for.”
“Am I taking good care of you?”
Eiji pressed even closer. Just for a moment – just enough to make Ash’s stomach leap, before he pulled away. He was left wondering if he was about to swoon or be sick. He hated the question – he hated how he phrased it.
“We’ll have to see, won’t we?” Eiji asked.
The music came to a stop. Ash blinked – wondering if it was meant to. But everyone around him was bowing or curtseying so he supposed that was right.
Eiji stepped away from him, swept down in a bow. Ash followed.
He smiled – he liked smiling, he found. Especially when he received such a beam in response.
“Is that all the dancing you’re going to inflict on me?”
“One more?” he asked so earnestly that Ash found he couldn’t refuse. He stepped forward again and endured all the eyes on them. The music was slow and Eiji’s movements were gentle. Everything about him was gentle – especially the gaze that he was giving Ash. That gaze was heavy and yet he could feel himself returning it.
This was a dream, he told himself. It had to be a dream. The gold lights bouncing off of everything made it seem foggy. Everyone else was dressed to the nines – pretty but too made up. Too perfect and artificial.
And here was Eiji in front of him. Looking at him like he was something worth being interested in. Like he was interested in him.
Like he loved him.
Which was ridiculous after one day.
And yet, Ash’s heart was pounding all the way through to his fingertips. Not the panicked kind of pounding it usually did, but something more rhythmic, in time to the music swirling through the air around them. It was more like a lullaby than a heartbeat.
Was this love?
If it was, then it was doomed. If it was, then he had better tread carefully, because they only had a night and a half left. Three nights of doomed love. It sounded familiar. It sounded like a tragedy.
The music slowed to a halt all too soon. Ash wasn’t done dreaming. He wasn’t done exploring those dark eyes and that soft smile.
“You’re good for someone who’s not a dancer,” Eiji said, pulling away. He didn’t bow this time and he was the only one in the room who didn’t.
“You’re good for someone who’s been haunted by the thought for months,” Ash replied.
Another one of those laughs that chimed like a bell.
“Well, I have danced at my party, so no one can yell at me. Do you care to head to an empty balcony now?” He held out an arm to Ash.
He couldn’t help it. He laughed and slipped his hand against Eiji’s elbow.
Everyone was looking at them. Everyone was staring at them. He didn’t allow himself to read their faces – he was used to keeping his eyes on the floor or the ceiling. But he didn’t think any of the eligible young ladies were looking at him keenly.
It was the same balcony as before, and he found it strangely comforting. In this world of light and reflections, there was something stable. A little balcony overlooking the grounds, that the Prince happened to jump from last night.
“I don’t think everyone will approve of your choice of partner,” Ash said. He leant facing out towards the night and found that his face was warm. He was warm.
“I don’t care.” Eiji stood by him, his face turned upwards. He didn’t look so ethereal out here. His skin was back to being tan instead of gold. “I agreed to have a ball, I didn’t agree to get married.”
“So, you’re a rebel?”
Eiji gave him a very serious look, his fringe half-flopping over one eye. “Of course.”
He couldn’t help it, he burst out l
aughing and immediately Eiji did too. He leant against Ash, like he couldn’t stand straight –
And Ash didn’t want to pull away.
“But really,” Eiji said. He kept his head on Ash’s shoulder. “I don’t think Ibe would mind. As long as I’m smiling, I think he said.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I – haven’t been having a good time lately.” His fingers trailed down Ash’s sleeve like he was tracing an unseen pattern. “I…had an accident and since then, I just…”
His fingers continued, sliding off into empty space. Ash nudged the back of his hand against Eiji’s, because if there was one thing that he knew about it was not having a good time.
“Are you okay?” he asked. It didn’t sound enough.
“I’m a little better now,” Eiji sighed and his breath made his fringe puff upwards. He glanced across the balcony. “I’m smiling, aren’t I?”
“I can’t imagine you not smiling.”
“I can’t imagine you not smiling.”
Ash took a breath. “I don’t usually. I don’t…like my life.”
Why was he telling him this? Did he just want someone to know – someone to know the real him for just three days before he disappeared again?
Eiji’s hand knocked against his, like he was asking for permission. Ash opened his hand up and stared at their fingers splayed out in the darkness.
“I want you to like your life,” Eiji said.
“I want you to like your life.” Ash realised he did. He did want this boy to go on and be happy for the rest of his life. To fill everyone else with that glow.
“Is there anything I can do?”
He was so earnest. But Ash had to shake his head. That would mean explaining – it would mean ruining that look that Eiji was giving him. It would turn it into something ugly and the dream would be over.
The cost was a sad smile and a long silence. Ash looked back out over the trees. He could still hear music coming from inside, and the chatter of all the guests. He didn’t let himself look back. There was the risk that anyone could recognise him.
It wouldn’t have mattered on the first night. The first night he could have turned and disappeared. He wouldn’t be able to bare it now.
“There’s something you could do for me,” Eiji said, softly. His hip nudged against Ash’s.
“What’s that?” But he had a feeling that he already knew. At least, he could guess and the guess made his stomach squirm.
“You could stay.” Eiji let the statement hang in the air. “Stay here, tonight. Stay for…as long as I keep smiling.”
“You mean forever?”
“Only if you think you could keep me smiling forever.”
Eiji could for him, Ash realised. He honestly could imagine being happy living here – with Eiji. If he could wake up every morning and meet those shiny dark eyes.
He found himself leaning forward slightly, to say with confidence that he actually could. He could keep him smiling day after day.
But then he reality settled in. They were talking about him staying. Past midnight.
It would always be a dream, he realised. A fantasy that he couldn’t have.
So he turned away and took a breath to steady himself.
“I have to be home by midnight,” he said. “I can’t – I can’t stay.”
“Home by midnight?” Eiji asked.
Ash didn’t reply. He couldn’t bring himself to. Instead, he kept quiet.
Eiji’s fingers linked into Ash’s. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. Ash seemed to understand what he was saying – that they might as well make the most of it now.
“I can’t stay,” Ash repeated. He could barely hear his own voice and he swallowed to try and get it back. “It could never work, anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not – I shouldn’t even be here. If you knew who I really was…” he trailed off – that was approaching the forbidden subject.
“You should be here.” Eiji said. He smiled, though it looked like it was an effort. “You’re just like me.”
“Trust me, I’m not.”
“Of course you are. We have plenty in common.” Eiji began to count on his fingers. “Neither of us have parents, we both like the stars but can’t read them. We both like kissing each other?”
“What makes you think I like kissing you?” Ash found himself smirking.
“You said I was a great kisser,” Eiji said.
“I don’t recall.”
“So if I kissed you now, you wouldn’t kiss me back?” Eiji leant towards him, tilting his face upwards so that the moon seemed to be reflected in his eyes. And Ash wanted to kiss him – every part of him wanted to lean forward and check whether his memory was accurate. But he also wanted to see more of that smile – whilst he was seeing that teasing smile he had nothing to be scared of.
Because what if it wasn’t as magical as he remembered? What if it made his stomach lurch this time?
“Oh, you’re going to kiss me now?”
“Yeah, I am.” He let go of Ash’s hand, standing on his tiptoes and steadying himself on Ash’s shoulder.
“Prove it.” It was like dancing again – holding him in place whilst he smiled coyly up at him.
“Only if you kiss me back.”
“You’re stalling.”
“I’m not.”
“Prove it.” Ash said again.
Eiji did. His eyes flickered downwards so that his eyelashes cast dark shadows over his cheeks. They were so close that Ash could hear him pull in a breath and hold it as he tilted his head closer. He let him, his heart thudding. He wasn��t sure if he wanted this – he hadn’t even been completely sure if Eiji would even go through with it.
But then his mouth was against his, just as soft as before. Just as hesitant and only for a moment, before he began to pull away.
Ash followed him, catching Eiji’s lips again and savouring the feeling. Three nights and he was already on his second. He had better stock up on that feeling that didn’t make his stomach swirl.
Because he was choosing, he realised. He was choosing this.
For the first time in his life, Ash Lynx was making his own choices.
And, for better or for worse, he was choosing a Prince.
Eiji came down from his tip-toes and Ash leant forward to accommodate him. It felt like they were joined by a magnet – like he wouldn’t be able to pull away. His lips were tingling like there were sparks between them and he tightened his fingers around that blue fabric. Eiji reacted to him, pressing against him like Ash was the only thing holding him up. Like he couldn’t bear to be apart either.
Very slowly, he moved away, letting the cold, night air wash between them again. But he was still close enough to feel Eiji’s puffs of breath against his cheeks – quick breaths like he had just been running. It was so cold that it looked like puffs of smoke comin
g from his mouth – like the inside of him was on fire. Ash could understand that. He felt hot all over.
“I like kissing you,” Eiji whispered. There were a few more puffs of smoke and then his hands tightened on Ash’s shoulders, like he was terrified of letting him go. “I like you, Ash. Like I’ve never liked anyone else.”
“Eiji…” Ash could only get the name out, wondering how just one name meant so much. “I do – I like you, I just…”
Someone called Eiji’s name and he took a sharp intake of breath. He glanced back to the balcony doors, then took Ash’s arm and dragged him into the shadows. Out of sight and against a wall.
Ash blinked down at him, his back tingling from the impact of being pushed against marble. Eiji pressed a finger to his lips, still staring at the yellow windows. The portal back to everyone else. Back to reality.
Reality sucked.
“Let’s not talk,” Eiji whispered. His fingers grazed the bottom of Ash’s jaw so lightly that he might have been a fairy himself. “Let’s just – let’s just not think about all of that.”
“And how would we not think about all of that?” Ash asked. He kept his voice at a normal volume and was hushed. It made him laugh – he was giddy, he realised. His head was floating.
“You know…”
“Do I?” Ash was smirking, because Eiji’s face was pink, even in the dark. But his jacket was in disarry and hair was messy and that made him look gorgeous.
“Oh – just shut up and-“
The bell interrupted him. It rung out like a warning in the night.
Ash’s heart sunk. His hands went to Eiji’s, still pressed to his chest. He tried to disentangle himself – but Eiji’s fingers curled into his.
“Please stay,” he whispered. His eyes were wide and pleading – he looked more like a child than a Prince.
“I can’t.”
“Ash – I can find a way-“
“Please let me go,” Ash was stronger than him. He pushed the hands away, stepping back towards the balcony doors. “I have to-“
“But-“
“You’re-“ Ash broke off, because was that three bells now or four? How quickly could he get down those stairs before the last stroke. He was running out of time – he was running –
He leant forward, gave a quick kiss to those rosebud lips before he turned tail and ran, slipping on the ballroom floor so that he had to push off from it with his fingertips.
It had been selfish. A selfish kiss because he didn’t think he would be able to go another twenty-four hours without one more kiss to see him through.
Because he was running out of time and he needed every kiss that he could get.
Because this was love, he realised. A ridiculous instant kind of love.
And that always ended in tragedy.
3
The third night is the first night that Ash knows why he is there. He knows that he’s here to drink in every last moment with the Prince. Every last look and every last touch and every last chaste kiss.
Eiji seems more wary of him this time. He doesn’t come over straight away, though those deer-like eyes catch his almost as soon as he’s in the room. Instead, he keeps talking to an older man Ash can only assume is Ibe.
Was this his punishment for running? It was hard to be angry with him. He deserved it. He had pleaded with Ash to stay and he had ran anyway. Like a coward.
But it left him in the jungle of the crowd. He began to feel people glancing at him. Recognising him and wondering why he was out of the Prince’s favour tonight. Maybe wondering where they had seen him before.
He caught the eye of a man he recognised. For a moment, he was frozen – a rabbit sensing an arrow pointed at it’s heart.
Then the man glanced away. He didn’t recognise him – of course he wouldn’t.
Ash wondered if that was part of the magic. He realised that he couldn’t stay out here, at the crowd’s mercy and not have back up. He forced himself to step forward – to be brave, this one time. To put a smile on his face as he approached Eiji – who was glancing at him every other moment – and to ask, “Would you like to dance?”
He watched the blush spread across Eiji’s face as quickly as the smile did.
But then he frowned, and looked away.
“I don’t think so.”
“What?”
“You’re not a dancer, Mr Lynx.” Eiji crossed his arms. He wasn’t looking at him, and his tone was firm. But Ash could see the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. He had an awful poker face. And of course Eiji was wearing gold – gold that made his skin glow and his hair as black as pitch.
“I don’t recall you saying that last night.”
“I was being polite?”
“Oh? And what else were you being polite about?”
Eiji’s hand went to his mouth like an impulse. The blush turned from pink to crimson.
Ash laughed. He couldn’t help it. It was easier to tease – to be playful – than to face the truth.
Just one more day, he told himself. Just one more day and then he would face reality. He just needed a little more time in the dream.
“You must be Ash Lynx.”
He had actually forgotten that the man was there at all – he had been so caught up in seeing Eiji blush and revelling in that he was behind it. But now he switched on a more charming smile and nodded and said “you must be Ibe.”
He was shaking hands and hearing about how much Eiji had spoken about him over the last couple of days. The thought warmed his cheeks – he had been spending too much time with Eiji. He couldn’t think of the last time he’d blushed like this.
And Eiji was remembering him – of course he was, he was human.
If he remembered him now, how devastated would he be when Ash left tonight? When he disappeared into the night just like the two other nights and would never be seen again. He was hoping that he’d never be seen by the Prince again. Otherwise, it would mean that he would know – that he would find out the truth.
That couldn’t happen.
“Oh – look – the bands starting up – Ash?” Eiji offered a hand to him, his face well and truly red now that it had been revealed just how much he talked about him.
“I thought I wasn’t a good dancer.”
“You’re a great dancer as long as we can stop this conversation.”
“Okay, I get the message.” Ibe held up his hands in surrender. “You kids have fun, alright.”
He turned, ready to disappear into the crowd, but Ash caught the wink that he gave Eiji before he did so. He laughed, letting himself be pulled onto the dance floor. He hadn’t met a man like Ibe before – not one who looked at Eiji like he was a son. Who teased him and smiled at Ash like he was just a boy. Just a boy who his son had taken an interest in.
“Doesn’t he mind?” Ash asked.
“Mind?” Eiji glanced back at him. “He wanted me to find a wife, didn’t he?”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Ash said, putting a hand on the small of Eiji’s back and leaning forward so that he was murmuring in his ear. “But I’m no wife.”
“No, he doesn’t mind,” Eiji said. “Like I said, as long as I’m smiling.” He turned, letting Ash’s hand slide against him to that it rested on his hip instead. His nose nudged his. “As long as you’re smiling too, Ash.”
“You want me to stay.”
Eiji’s gaze dropped, his eyelashes fluttering. His hands were on Ash’s arms, like he wanted to be held. Ash would have, he would have wrapped his arms around him and would have never let go if they weren’t standing in a crowded ballroom.
“I’ve never felt like this,” Eiji murmured. He was glowing pink – glowing brighter than any chandelier in the palace. “And maybe I’m rushing into things, but I-“
“Don’t,” Ash whispered. “Please, don’t say it.”
“You’re going to leave again.” His eyes glanced back up, searching for something in Ash’s face. Something that he couldn’t give but he knew was completely readable anyway.
“Yes,” he said, but it hurt to get the word out. “After tonight, I can’t come back.”
“But what if you could?” Eiji said. “What if you stayed?”
“Everyone’s looking at us.”
“What would happen if you stayed?”
“I need to get out,” Ash hadn’t realised how badly but all he can feel is eyes on his skin and it’s like being covered in flies. He’s being suffocated and he can’t stand it. “The crowd – I can’t.”
He wasn’t sure Eiji understood completely, but he stopped pleading. His eyes focused and he took Ash’s hand with the same confidence that he had that first night. When he had made a beeline for him. Ash let himself be pulled through the rest of the crowd, past the band – who are watching – everyone is watching like vultures.
Eiji pulled aside a huge heavy curtain and let Eiji duck past him into a dark corridor. The air was cool air and there’s no one else. No eyes.
“Everyone was staring,” he said, mainly for his own benefit. To explain to himself.
“I’m sorry,” Eiji said. Ash hadn’t even thought he would follow. “I’m so used to it now.”
“They must hate me.” He folded his arms around himself. The same lavish outfit he wore three nights in a row and then never again. Clothes that he would never dream of having.
“They don’t hate you,” Eiji said. His fingertips just nudged Ash’s arm. “You’re an enigma. A mysterious Prince who has my unsolicited attention.”
“I’m not a Prince.”
“You look like one.”
“I’ve been told.” He can’t help the bitterness from appearing in his voice.
“They’re not glaring, Ash – they’re just looking,” Eiji said. “They’re – most of them are smiling.”
“Smiling?”
“The Prince has found-“
“I’m not a wife. I’m not a match to you. I could never be-“
“Why not?” Eiji’s voice pitched. He was hurting him, Ash knew. The truth hurt.
He stood in the dark, wishing that he’d just played along. That he’d played up to the crowd like the last night. It was because that was a private moment – a private conversation played out for everyone to see. He didn’t want them to see that – he wanted them to see the teasing and the dancing – not the soft touches and gentle gazes.
The silence stretched on, ringing in his ears like a bell.
“I don’t want to fight,” Eiji said, eventually. “I don’t want to fight tonight. Let’s-“
“Just talk?”
“I was going to offer to show you around.”
“You already have.”
“That was the outside. I haven’t shown you all the delightfully boring things inside yet.” Just like that, the atmosphere was light. It was back to being playful and Ash could smirk, even if it didn’t reach his eyes.
“How can I refuse?”
The palace wasn’t boring. There was always something to look at – always some gilding, or some painting, or pottery or artefact that had been placed at eye height for people to gaze at in awe. Eiji walked past most of them as if they were nothing.
Ash pretended to be interested. It was interesting, he thought. The history behind all of these artefacts where incredible.
And yet he couldn’t find himself absorbed in them. He kept tracing the white pattern in the gold of Eiji’s clothes. The shine of his hair in the dim light of the corridors. All he could think about was the steady, warm weight of his hands on Ash. Like a shadow prince was still holding his shoulders like he was going to drift away from him.
The thought of those lips.
He never remembered kisses. It was easier not to. But Eiji’s kiss he wanted to keep forever. He wanted more. It was like an addiction.
“I like this window,” Eiji said, suddenly. He had stopped at a tiny circle cut into the stone. It was at the head of a much smaller staircase – a servant’s staircase, Ash guessed. “You can see the whole kingdom from here, look?”
Ash did, standing behind Eiji to peer out of the window. There was a draft from the staircase on his back.
“It looks like a small collection of lights to me,” Ash said.
“Well, it’s too dark to see it now,” Eiji said. “But in the day it looks different. I come here just to look – to look at the land that’s meant to be mine. All those people I have to protect.” He paused. “I don’t think I’m doing a good job.”
“You’re doing –“ Ash paused. He didn’t want to be unfair. He couldn’t blame someone for not knowing if corruption was sneaking it’s way into the kingdom. It was something he didn’t want Eiji to know, anyway. “Fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Nowhere is perfect.” Ash said. “Good means evil.”
“Do you,” Eiji spoke slowly, placing his palms on the windowsill. “Do you know if there’s evil down there.”
Ash couldn’t hesitate – his mouth wouldn’t let him.
“Yes. I come from it.”
“Are you going to rob me? Murder me? Steal my heart and break it?” Eiji asked. He turned, so that he was leaning backwards against the windowsill. The darkness outside blending with his hair.
“None of the above,” Ash said. “At least, that was never my intention.”
“What was your intention?”
“A night off.” Ash said. “An escape.”
Eiji was watching his mouth, he realised – only because he was doing the same.
“From what?”
Ash shook his head. He couldn’t give an answer – it brought bile to his throat. So he gave into temptation instead, he leant forward and pressed his mouth against Eiji’s because he knew it would distract him. Because he was desperate to cup that face in his hands and know that it was real. That it wouldn’t spill away like water. Eiji was real and Eiji wanted him.
His head was tilted up and he pressed against the wall to kiss Ash back. He had been caught of guard and stumbled slightly – his arms coming up and around Ash’s neck to anchor himself.
He could feel his hair – hair like black silk between his fingers. A sound came from the back of his throat – a tiny, short sound, but still a sound. The beginning of a moan. A moan because time was running out. Why had he thought that three days would be enough? Three days was nowhere near enough. He didn’t think he would ever not love those rosebud lips.
Ash pulled away, because he had to breathe. His chest nudged against Eiji’s every time he exhaled and he wasn’t sure which of them was short of breath. It was like they were one being.
Eiji’s arms tightened around his neck, and all of a sudden, he pressed his head against Ash’s chest. He stood there, hugging Ash like he was a life raft, and after a moment, Ash wrapped his arms around Eiji. Held the boy to him and buried his face in that silky hair.
He shouldn’t be here – he shouldn’t even be allowed to touch a Prince.
But he was. Because he chose a Prince and a Prince chose him and that was only as crazy as fairy Godfathers. Fairy Godfathers meant fairy tales and fairy tales meant crazy things sometimes.
Crazy things like falling in love after three nights.
Because he was. If there had been any hint of doubt before, he knew that he was in love now. This was love. And it was wonderful and heart breaking at the same time. If they never met again, then at least he had this. At least he had the memory of love.
The clock chimed. That freaking clock. He hated it – he hated it’s obnoxious times.
He hated the resigned way Eiji pulled away from him and the sad smile that he gave him.
“I have to,” Ash said. His voice cracked.
“I know,” Eiji said. He pressed a hand to Ash’s cheek – just for a moment – like he was getting a last look to etch into his memory. “Goodbye, Ash Lynx.”
“Goodbye, Prince Eiji.” Ash held the hand in his – another moment but one that he couldn’t sacrifice. He had to say goodbye. He had to come to terms with it now.
Then he was off again. It was becoming easy, running through the palace. He was getting used to the floors – how to slide across them without falling.
He was halfway through the ballroom when someone caught his arm.
His heart panicked – feeling like a frantic bird trapped in a cage. He thought it was Ibe – that Ibe was going to stop him.
He jerked around to find Eiji there, panting heavily and red cheek. His hair was everywhere and his eyes were wide.
“Eiji – I can’t-“
“I know – but there’s pitch on the stairs!”
“What?”
“Pitch – there’s-“ Eiji was still trying to catch his breath. His grip on Ash loosened.
Everyone was staring – Ash knew. They were watching him. But not like this was ridiculous and unheard of and outrageous. Like it was a drama. Like they cared.
“They – we – put pitch on the stairs,” Eiji managed to say. “To – it was a trap. But I – I can’t let you – you can go out a different way, if you hurry.”
“You’d let me go.” Ash said. He was numb. The clock was still chiming. Thank the bloody thing, it was taking it’s sweet time to announce midnight.
“Of course I would,” Eiji said. He dropped – and for a wild moment Ash thought that he had fallen. Instead, he realised, with a stuttering heartbeat, he was on one knee. His breath left him. “I love you, Ash Lynx. And I would let you leave if that’s what you want, but you can also stay. And I’m asking you with everything I have in me to stay. Stay and marry me.”
He couldn’t breathe – he couldn’t breathe. He was sure that his heart had stopped beating. That everything was just going to stop at this moment.
It could. He wouldn’t mind. This moment could be his forever. The stroke of midnight on the third night. The moment Eiji said ‘I love you, Ash Lynx,’ and meant it.
“Eiji-“
The clock chimed a twelfth and final time. Ash barely heard it – it was just a ringing in his ears.
But the spell broke. Light broke off from around him like a million fireflies. He heard people gasping – staring at him in wonder. Even Eiji looked surprised, blinking at him and reflecting every one of those fireflies.
Ash Lynx was back in rags, but before he was thrown out of the palace, he had to finish his sentence –
“I love you too.”
Eiji gave a sound that could have been a laugh or a sob. He was back on his feet, his arms around Ash. He was hugging him – pressing him so tight that Ash’s face was buried in his hair. He stumbled on his feet, holding him just as tightly. He hadn’t ran. He had stayed.
Had he just agreed to a proposal?
“I’m sorry that I’m not really a Prince,” he mumbled into Eiji’s hair.
That made him pull away. He was grinning, his eyes flicking back and forth across Ash’s face.
“You still look like a Prince to me.”
That broke him. It broke him completely and utterly – kickstarted his heart back into beating with so much vigor that he could feel the blood bursting around his body.
“I want to stay,” he whispered. “I want to stay with you, but I’m not-“
“You are.”
“You’re sure?”
Eiji cupped Ash’s face. He was grinning from ear to ear and Ash was too. He put his hands over Eiji’s – just to feel him.
“I’m smiling, aren’t I?”
“As long as you’re smiling.”
“And Ash?” Eiji ducked his chin down slightly, so that his fringe almost flopped over his eyes.
“Mm?”
“You’re smiling too.”
Ash laughed. He was. He couldn’t say why – but he felt completely free. This was fine – this was what he wanted.
Ash Lynx was making his own decisions and this was what he wanted. He wanted a Prince. He wanted Eiji.
“And I’m about to do this too,” he said, cupping Eiji’s cheeks in his palms.
Eiji giggled as Ash leant closer. It was becoming second nature now – a comfortable motion.
A comfortable motion that still made his mouth tingle. Still felt like that first kiss under the stars with damp grass underneath them.
The crowd was cheering, Ash realised. Cheers surrounded them as Ash pulled away. His eyes felt heavy.
“Will you marry me?” he murmured.
“I believe I asked you first.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Is that?”
Eiji kissed him, then pressed his forehead against Ash’s – so that he could only see dark eyes.
“Of course.”
Ash knew he would have to tell him one day – the truth. He would have to explain who he was and where he came from. He would have to get used to being a Prince and having eyes on him. There were going to be a lot of challenges. It was going to be a nightmare, a small part of him realised. There wouldn’t be a simple happily ever after to this fairy tale.
But it was a fairy tale and not a tragedy.
And that was more than enough for now.
11 notes · View notes
cards-onthetable · 6 years ago
Text
Hi, is this Jamko Grievances Hotline?
(This is it y’all, Aussie’s letting loose. Straight text is hers; any of my own additions are italicized. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU, AUSSIE!)
My perception of Eddie season 4 - younger than Jamie, sheltered upbringing, bit of a private school princess as we say here. Rookie so she has a steep learning curve ahead of her. All pretty normal I think. Fyi I don't buy the BS that nobody saw their chemistry etc behind the scenes. Her whole "You're my first Reagan, be gentle" was to me the very beginning of this farce. It was obvious she was brought into the show to be his eventual love interest.
Season 5 - 1st episode Jamie loses his shit when Eddie pushed to the ground. Eddie apparently doesn't realise Jamie wants to jump her bones? doubt it but ok writers. His talk with Erin about Teresa Mancini being his first crush because Jamie likes opinionated bossy women etc. So writers/producers clearly want idea in viewers minds that yeah he wants her but noble, never-screw-your-partner Jamie Reagan denies it and Eddie supposedly remains oblivious.
Episode 2 - Jamie sides with Kara Walsh much to Eddie's disgust. It's Eddie that talks about bringing stink back with him etc after he partners with Walsh. It's Eddie talking about nobody trusts a rat etc etc. (geez I hate season 9)
The rest of the season passes with Eddie being kidnapped  (Jamie handled that smoothly didn't he)? and  Eddie's first kill. He wants to be there for her. Eddie also wants him there. Ok I get slow burn in TV shows but they in my mind have already crossed lines emotionally and MR HARVARD GRAD on some level has to know this. Eddie always showed signs of knowing she had feelings in my opinion.
Eddie undercover and Jamie loses his shit with Danny about getting his partner out etc. Danny and Maria knew about their feelings. Hell seems basically the entire precinct did but ok this slow burn shit continues all the while Jamie believing can't go there because dangerous on job blah blah blah. Sorry but you are already compromised. (AGREED. They’ve been emotionally compromised since early on.)
Season 6 - More interesting for me because Eddie started to be more his equal I felt. She would express opinions and argue more with him. But I did not like her "do you know who my partner's father is" BS (same, I still struggle to categorize that as a momentary lapse in judgment? A scared gut reaction when she got confronted? Not sure, but it was gross). They also had a fight in episode 11 when Eddie got them assigned to a detective detail. Eddie's "I'm not gonna apologise for wanting a career". Opinionated Eddie on display. You know the type Jamie is always attracted to. But still this slow burn BS continues. 
Season 7 - Well we all know how that played out. The year they confess feelings (no, the year Eddie confessed feelings in a moving, vulnerable moment and Jamie stammered about bad ideas and roads they’ve been down before. 😒😒), pash, attend out of town weddings together and get into fights. But yeah ok JUST PARTNERS. Honestly fuck off BB it's just a farce. Oh wait we are now going to ignore the kiss etc. Erase it from your memories like it never happened folks. UGH UGH UGH.
Season 8 - Mostly about Danny and losing Linda at first. OK I can deal with that. Jamko dinner date at the Chinese restaurant and we're reviving the sexual tension again. JUST FUCK ALREADY. But nope surprise Eddie has a boyfriend called Barry. Well she is entitled to her life considering the WE ARE JUST PARTNERS BS!! But apparently this boyfriend is enough to make Jamie stop and think as opposed to the other men that have come and gone. Yeah she got shot, Jamie could've lost her etc etc. Barry mentioned again so Eddie was still with him or had very recently split oh hey surprise WE'RE ENGAGED - (Adam Sandler starts in my head BUT IT ALL WAS BULLSHIT IT WAS A GODDAMN JOKE).
As an aside I absolutely hated the episode where Eddie recognised the absolute pig from her past and used her job to get even. Showing Eddie to be that unprofessional and needing to be brought to heel by Jamie and Erin really pissed  me off. That right there is why Eddie is considered beneath Jamie by the I hate Eddie brigade. I understand being shocked running into the guy but showing Eddie to have such poor judgement just didn't sit well. And hey T.O. you failed cos you probably should've taught her that you can't use your authority for personal gain but clearly you didn't but you know it's wrong so the all powerful Reagans can get you out of the trouble silly little Eddie tried to get herself in.
Season 9 - ARE THEY FUCKING JOKING? 
1 - Still working together because their judgement won't be affected in a negative way. oops Eddie trapped in fire and Jamie loses his shit.  But ok engaged and working together CHANGES NOTHING
2 - Jamie promoted and getting transferred and immediately Eddie brings up putting in for a transfer. He says no. He then requests her. She says no. Good maybe they really will let them be separated at work which given it meant Eddie basically relegated to family dinners surprised me.
3 - Oh my guy's being talked about meanly. This won't do. FYI I actually was ok with Jamie appearing a bit irritated when she arrived at work as his girlfriend. I like to keep home and personal separate so I could understand his less than thrilled reaction but that's not everyone's cup of tea and I understand that. But hey spoiler BB his colleagues have seen his girlfriend you morons, so transferring her into work there by end of episode and pretending people don't know IS BULLSHIT
4 - Think I already discussed this with @ontherockswithsalt but I was irritated. Jamie made it clear he did not trust that detective and Eddie seemed to see it solely as an attack on her capabilities. Old Eddie I think would've at least listened. But SHIT goes wrong and it is Jamie coming to rescue Eddie. I understood why the majority felt Jamie over stepped and Eddie is trained etc. But she had found herself in an out of control situation because she was pinned with breath knocked out of her and help was not coming until it had gone further. Jamie is aware of what this arse would be rapist is doing. He is aware of Eddie's history with sexual assault. He does not trust this detective. THE MAN IN JAMIE WILL ALWAYS PROTECT HIS WOMAN WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY WORKING TOGETHER IS TOTAL BULLSHIT KEVIN WADE AND YOU KNOW IT. That was not Sergeant  Reagan that was ANGRY JAMIE out to play. But Eddie is upset which i get because she feels it's an attack on her capabilities and no chick is gonna be happy with that and she talks about "we agreed we'd separate work and home Jamie you gotta choose". 
5 - It was Eddie telling Sean about what it means to be a Reagan, higher standards etc etc. Oh look a little bit of affection seeing Jack off. Works for me because they are at home, not working. 
6 - He puts both Maya and Eddie on foot patrol AND SHE DEFENDS HIM? Oh come on Old Eddie is not that stupid. Sorry it's Eddie 2.0 this season, I forgot. So again it's Jamie Reagan the HARVARD GRAD telling her that was a mistake well NO SHIT and old Eddie wouldn't have done it.
7 - I kinda enjoyed that low growl as he went to kiss her in the kitchen. Her mum's a delight but to me supportive Jamie was on display this episode because they were at home. He can be Jamie there. At work he's supposedly Sergeant Reagan not Jamie.
8 - Jamie upset with his decision and Eddie is supportive. Only really saw them at home so nothing really annoyed me here.
9 - Eddie and Maya and 2 others supposedly bullied and Jamie has to explain why it's a bad look. Not convinced old Eddie would be so keen to just let the loud mouths go but maybe the point was to suggest Eddie really not that capable without Jamie by her side? Oh no it's not that because Eddie caught the wanted killer. You girl. Then their boss tells Frank he's not blowing smoke when praising them. So what their CO does know?
10 - NO NO NO. EDDIE FLAT OUT LIES WHEN ASKED BY MAYA HOW LONG THEY BEEN SLEEPING TOGETHER. BUT OH NO JAMIE IN A SHOOT OUT AND HERE COMES EDDIE RUNNING SERGEANT REAGAN ARE YOU OK WITH THE PUPPY EYES. But ok sure Maya and co believe you aren't screwing. BULLSHIT
11 - Jamie stuffs up. Did that actually happen? He makes a mistake someone gets shot and nothing is said? SAY WHAT? Also Eddie has to pull Jamie off the shooter and is calling him Jamie which apparently is wrong so again THEY ALL KNOW YOU ARE SCREWING FOLKS.
12 - I'm annoyed that anyone can mention 100k and wedding in same breath but hey maybe that's really what a wedding in NYC costs. Wedding talk bores me so I found that episode blah. He certainly needs to learn to express himself better. The venue seemed ok I guess.
13 - Wedding dress description to the guy you gonna marry? I'm bored. Oh wait personal and professional lives must be separated so yeah it seems really logical to therefore be discussing their issues at work. What's this did Jamie just tell her he loves her in busy precinct? Ok maybe it's me who has a head injury because I thought we were still playing secret squirrel.
14 - Not that much Jamko really but hey Henry while I understand Danny's point I am firmly team Jamie because how on Earth can he maintain any discipline/control when his own brother totally disregards him? Henry and Frank care more about Frank's precious job and the family name. OH Fuck Me Frank Reagan's bullshit is a separate rant. Did love the dinner table spat though. Give me more of that. Also kinda impresses by that saga at the end.
15 - we've discussed this
16 - Nice to see them working together I guess 
17 - Maya corrupt. I'm ho hum in a way. I kinda think making the first black recurring police officer corrupt plays into the ‘blue bloods is racist’ crowd but I really don't know enough about the culture there. I did like Jamie having her arrested  at roll call because I'm all for sending a message. Again this woking together and screwing is BS but hey that's the theme of the season.
18 - Who knows I haven't seen much but I'm over it. IT DOES NOT WORK. END OF STORY.
But in closing Eddie does look like can't be trusted in my opinion because she came to the new precinct that was known to be trouble. And for a year her and her boss have been lying. Jamie has the Sergeant has power. Eddie does not. Given how rats are seen how does Eddie's position not come with major blow back when all is revealed? Jamie can't shield her cos that'd be playing favourites and hey we keep work and home separate (except for when we don't) BECAUSE IT'S ALL BULLSHIT.
If the go ahead with season 10 and I'm silly enough to watch I am hoping for serious fallout. I want Eddie ostracised at work because I think that is realistic and they supposedly pride themselves on being real. I think it would be interesting character development for Eddie and also for Jamie because HEY HARVARD HOW'S BEING A BULLSHIT ARTIST WORKING FOR YA? I'd like to see HARVARD have to grapple with how his stupidity has truly affected the woman he loves. And hey maybe Eddie can return to her old self.
This dummy spit written and authorised by Aussie.
Sorry if I've broken your eyes due to eye rolling.
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thejokersenigma · 6 years ago
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Steve Rogers x Reader - Oneshot - Foxtrot
This was just a random idea I came up with ages ago. I apologise to the Peggy-Rogers shippers - I came up with this idea after not having watched the first Captain America for about three years, so I forgot the importance of the whole ‘dance’ to Steve. Hope most people like it anyway? Only time I get to put my basic dance move knowledge to any use haha
I’ve never written Steve Rogers properly before, so I hope he’s not too ooc! I based this sort of just after the first avengers movie.
WARNINGS: None
Let me know if you want to be tagged in anything!
MAIN MASTERLIST
“Captain?” Had he heard you? “Captain Rogers?” You tried again.
“Ah, uh, hmm?” Steve Rogers jolted upright from where he had been dozing in one of the armchairs found in the communal room of the Avenger’s tower. He blinked rapidly now, shaking his head briefly to force himself back to reality before he caught sight of where you were lingering by the door. “Oh - uh – my apologies, I –“
You held up a hand to stop him. “Hey –“ You grimaced in understanding, “Don’t worry, Captain - no need to explain.” You assured him. “Believe it or not, you are allowed to be tired, sir - and you are allowed to sleep.” You smirked at him brazenly. “Superhuman stills means you’re human, sir.”
Rogers ducked his head, seeming to be almost embarrassed that you’d found his weak spot. “Don’t tell Fury that.” He muttered lightly.
“Long hours?” You grimaced again.
Rogers stretched in his seat, wincing at a particular sore spot in his shoulder. “You could say that.” He said with a half-smile. “Did Stark send you down to get me?” He asked, raising a brow.
“It’s not a party without the Captain.” You cheered weakly, and Roger’s raised an amused, incredulous eyebrow at you. You made a face at him seeing through you, “Only way I was allowed to ditch it myself, Sir,” You confessed guiltily. “Not my sort of scene really.”
“Nor mine.” Steve agreed, nodding his head in understanding. He paused for a moment then glanced over at you, his brow slightly furrowed in confusion. “Do you mind me asking then why Stark invited you?” You blinked in surprised. “I mean – it’s just… well, you don’t seem like the type of women Tony usually likes to fill his parties with.” Rogers tried to clarify.
“And just what sort of women would that be, Captain?” You taunted, raising your eyebrows expectantly.
“Oh, no - I didn’t mean – you know, I just meant -“
“It’s fine Captain, I’m just teasing.” You giggled. “I’m not like Stark’s girls, because I’m not one of Stark’s girls.” You told him, “I’m part of staff – automatically gets an invite?” You reminded him.
“Oh, I’m really sorry – I didn’t mean –“
You shook your head with a grin. “Please, Captain - stop apologising.” You insisted with a laugh. “I’m new – easy mistake.” You allowed, “ - Though I never thought I be confused as one of Stark’s girls.” You added with a laugh and Steve grimaced regretfully. “But I didn’t come here to make you uncomfortable, Captain – just to force you against your will.” You winked. Steve groaned, letting his head fall back the back of the chair again. You smirked sympathetically. “I’d ask if it’s really that bad, but I know it is.” You chuckled.
“Ah, it’s not terrible.” Steve admitted, dropping his chin, “Just a bit different from my time.” He confessed, now going to push himself reluctantly out of his chair.
“Oh?” You asked, intrigued as you watched him stiffly rise to his feet. His passed interested you greatly, but you hadn’t been sure how willing he was to talk about it.
“The dancing’s just a lot less… I don’t know.” He shook his head, then chuckled. “A dance in my day was quite a show – kept everyone’s moral up – got some quite interesting dances out of it – arms and legs flying everywhere.” He chuckled at the memory, “Somehow though, it was completely planned and co-ordinated – rarely a step out of place. – Better music as well.” He added with a twist of his lips.
You laughed. “Can’t argue with that, Sir.”
“Steve, please.” He insisted, glancing over at you.
Your eyes widened slightly in surprise, but you nodded all the same. “Steve.” You agreed with a smile. You shifted uncomfortably where you still stood. “So, arms and legs flying everywhere, hmm?” You asked, hesitant to leave even if you had technically done your assigned duty now.
Steve laughed and nodded as he went to grab his empty glass from the table. “Surprisingly often.” He admitted.
“Sounds rather terrifying.” You confessed with a smirk.
“No scarier than some of the dance move’s I’ve seen at Stark’s many celebrations.” Steve pointed out with a half-smile
“Made it easier to get a date though, I imagine.” You mused, as you thought back to that time period, how every dance was usually coupled.
“More necessary to have one maybe,” Steve, laughed, “Not easier to get one.” He corrected.
You scowled playfully, “Oh, you can’t tell me Captain America didn’t have girls lining up to dance with him?” You smirked incredulously.
Steve moved across the room towards the kitchen now, “I – uh – never got the chance to dance after I was the Captain,” He explained honestly, “And I can’t say there was anyone in line when I was a skinny ass kid.” He smirked, glancing back at you as he placed his glass in the sink. He caught the look on your face. “Hey, you didn’t see me.” He chuckled.
“I dunno,” You mused with a smirk, “I always did prefer an underdog.” You winked, and you couldn’t believe you were flirting with the Steve Rogers.
He laughed though, “Well if my looks didn’t hinder me, my moves certainly did.” He pointed out “- Practise may make perfect, but I personally had no practise.” He shook his head in amusement.
“Well, if it helps, in this day and age your limited skills probably put you in the top ten percent of dancers.” You laughed.
“Oh, I’m sure you can easily match me.” He dismissed.
You snorted, “Oh, I highly doubt that.”
“Right, come here.” He gestured for you.
“What?” You laughed in disbelief, taking a tiny step back when he stepped toward you - despite him being practically on the other side of the room. “N - no, I - I can’t.” You said quickly, your cheeks flushing red.
“Sure, you can.” Steve insisted, holding out his hand, “I’ll show you, something slow – it’s easier.” He explained, stepping for confidently towards you now, covering the distance quickly with his long strides whilst you stayed in place.
“Sir – Steve,” You caught yourself, glancing down at the hand he held out as he stopped just in front of you. “There’s no music.” You protested weakly, wanting to place your palm in his, but worried.
“Then I guess you’ll just have to follow my lead.” He smirked light-heartedly. “Come on,” He urged when you still hesitated. “I thought you liked an underdog.” He teased.
You laughed, and - against your better judgement - you finally took his hand, cautiously stepping towards him as he gently pulled you in by your hand. “Ok.” You breathed nervously, trying to steady yourself. “What am I doing?” You asked anxiously, watching your feet, not quite able to believe what you were about to do. You were going to dance. With Captain America. You weren’t sure which part of that you were more afraid of.
“Ok, well, I’m going to keep hold of this hand, but hold it out here.” Steve explained, lifting your hand he still held up and out to the side. “And then, I’m going to put my hand here,” Steve told you clearly, moving his free hand to you back, placing it lightly at the bottom of your shoulder blade. “And now you do the same.” He nodded, and you faltered in surprise, forgetting you too had to be proactive, before you hesitantly lifted your own free hand to copy him. You could feel your cheeks burn as your hand brushed his back. You could only pray your palms didn’t become too sweaty. “Ok, have you heard of a foxtrot before?”
“Uh - heard of it.” You mumbled, “Never done it.”
“Me neither.” Steve confessed, then smirked down at you. “I think I know the basic, though.” He admitted, glancing down to check his foot positioning and shifting his grip on your hands slightly. “Ok.” He breathed, “Music maestro.” He muttered, and you ducked your head, sniggering quietly. The corner of Steve’s mouth twitch at your giggle. “Right, I’m going to step forward,” He warned you, “and you –“
“Step back?” You guessed, keeping your head down to watch yourself move your foot back as the Captain’s foot went forward.
“And now step the other foot back beyond that one…” Steve instructed, and you watched as you moved your foot to counteract his own, stepping back as he stepped his other foot forward.
“Ok, and now step to the side with me.” He said, taking a step to your right you followed after him, “and bring your other foot to meet.” Steve explained, and you copied his movement again till you stood in the same position as you started, your feet together directly in front of him. “Tah dah.” He hummed.
“That’s it?” You asked in surprise, glancing up from your feet for the first time.
“That’s it.” He nodded with a smirk. “Well, the basics anyway.” He shrugged.
You laughed, “Ok, I can do that.” You grinned more confidently.
“Congratulations, you’ve reached the level of my expertise.” He chuckled. “Come on, once again.” Steve ordered lightly, his hands still in place. You nodded more eagerly this time. “Back, back,” Rogers instructed you, this time keeping his own head up, though your own eyes had dropped back to your feet the moment it came to dancing again, “Side, side.”
You glanced up with a grin when you’d finished another set. “It’s actually easier than I thought,” You confessed, the relief evident in your voice. “It’s… nice.” You admitted shyly, flickering your eyes briefly up to the Captain’s before you dropped your eyes to his chest instead. “Do you mind if we do it once more?” You asked nervously.
One more that you could fully enjoy before you returned to reality.
“Yes, Ma’am” He said obediently, lifting your hand again, and repositioning the one at your back. You immediately looked to your feet as you began to follow through the steps again, but then Steve pressed your back slightly, edging you closer together so it was more difficult to see your feet. You looked up at him in confusion. “You can do it without looking.” He told you with a gentle smile, “You’ll flow better if you go with the movement.” He explained. You swallowed nervously but tried it and, though you mis-stepped a few times thanks to your nerves, you soon fell into the rhythm. Steve didn’t let you stop after one or two sets though, always immediately pulling you into another after another until you found yourself in a continuous, never ending dance. When he felt content you were comfortable with the steps, Steve seemed to increase the pace of the dance slightly. You automatically gripped his hand and back more tightly as you stumbled the first few steps as you tried to keep up with him, but Steve was patient and it wasn’t long before the two of you were falling back in sync again, now gliding far more smoothly around the large open plan room.
You couldn’t help the grin on your face at what you were somehow managing to do, though your grip on Steve barely loosened.
Steve seemed to have a song in his mind as he spun you around the room because there was almost a rhythm to his steps and it was a good few minutes before he finally pulled you to a stop.
“You, Captain Rogers,” You panted slightly, “Are a liar.” You smirked, and he looked confused at your reprimanding. “You told me you couldn’t dance, yet here I am getting swept off my feet like it’s the 1900’s.” You grinned up at him, then suddenly became aware of you how close you still were. You dropped your hand from his back, biting your lip awkwardly.
Steve suddenly realised the same, “Oh – sorry.” He murmured almost sheepishly, dropping his hand from your back as well and releasing your other hand. He seemed about to say something more when something over your shoulder caught his attention.
“Agent.” Steve greeted formally. You turned in surprise to see none other than agent Clint Barton strolling casually into the room who nodded to the two of you in greeting.
You suddenly remembered yourself, feeling your face redden again as you turned back to Steve. “I - I’m afraid I haven’t – uh – haven’t done my assigned duty.” You confessed. I’ve only managed to detain you further rather than send you to the party.” You observed.
“Oh yes, I’m sure he’s really missing me.” Steve drawled sarcastically with an amused half-smile.
“Either way,” You shook your head with a grin, “I should – I should go.” You said gesturing at the doorway, glancing between the agent and Steve and already taking a step back. “I – uh – I hope you have a good night, Captain Rogers.” You smiled genuinely, as you turned to leave. “Agent.” You nodded in farewell.
Barton nodded back at you kindly.
“And you –“ Steve began, then falter when it suddenly hit him that he’d never asked your name.
You couldn’t help the snicker that escape your lips from the look on his face as you glanced back, still walking towards the door. “[Y/N].” You called back to him with a grin.
Steve ducked his head sheepishly where he still stood, nodding in acknowledge. “Goodnight [Y/N].” He smirked, glancing up at you.
You gave him a last small, shy smile in parting before you finally disappeared around the doorframe and into the corridor.
Steve glanced to Barton now, who had raised one eyebrow suggestively at the solider. Steve sighed, in a don’t-say-anything kind of way. “What’s up Barton?” Steve muttered, turning away and deciding he might need another drink.
“Tough kid, eh?” He observed, glancing back at the door where you had disappeared. “Barely even limping.” He noted.
Steve frowned. “Why would she be limping?”
“Please tell you’re kidding?” Clint asked incredulously, standing on the other side of the breakfast bar whilst Steve retrieved his glass. “What did ya do, talk about yourself the whole time?” He demanded in disbelief. Steve had the decency to feel his cheeks warm as he grabbed a tea towel. “That’s [Y/N] [L/N].” He stated as though that meant something. “Remember Alaska?” Clint prompted with wide eyes. Steve frowned – of course he remembered Alaska - worst team losses he’d suffered for years. “That kid was part of the support team for us - nearly had her whole leg blown off.” Clint explained as Steve now handed him a drink before turning to pour his own. “She was in surgery for weeks, only released the other day.” He informed Steve, then dropped his chin, staring at his drink for a moment. “Only survivor of her group.” He stated, lifting the drink to take a large gulp, clear that this fact weighed heavily on him.
Steve’s eyes flickered to the door as he tried his glass. The girl had been nervous to dance – now he knew why – prosthetics were difficult at the best of times, let alone if you were still relatively new to them. She’d been slower sure, maybe clumsy, perhaps, but she’d said it herself she’d never done it before, so he’d simply put it down to that. Yes, now looking back, maybe she’d held onto him more - leant into him – but Steve hadn’t really thought on it at the time. Given the amount of time since he’d last dance he couldn’t have said it wasn’t normal anyway.
“What does she do now?” Steve muttered, finally pulling his eyes away from the empty doorway.
Barton glanced up from where he too had been lost in his own thoughts. “Stark hooked her up with a job in the engineer – apparently she’s quite handy with a wrench.” Barton informed. “In numerous ways I’ve heard.” He smirked reluctantly, and Steve raised an amused eyebrow at this. “Let’s just say if you see an engineer with a bruised forehead, you’ll know why – you’ll also know he deserved it.” Clint snorted.
Steve snickered lightly, barely knowing [Y/N] but somehow thinking this suited her character.
“So, what?” Clint said, leaning back from the bar with his drink, with a quirked eyebrow. “Thinking about paying the engineering department a visit?” He teased suggestively.
Steve shrugged as he turned to face the agent with his glass, leaning back against the counter with folded arms. Steve smirked lightly, “It’s possible my bike might need some work…” He confessed.
Tags for Everything: @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @jemjem-chan @nerdybirdyfiz @angelicshinigami @beautifulbows924 @sheldonsherlocktony @arkhamsurviour @thatwriterizzy
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lavidademarimar · 7 years ago
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~ Catch up on Praia, the first part of the story of Jack x Elena ~
~ Masterlist ~
Elena opened the door to her flat and it seemed no one was there. She rolled her suitcase into her room, and fell with a thud on her bed. Her phone vibrated. She grunted and took it out of her pocket. 
Jack: Did ye make it home all right?
“Does he have a GPS on me?” Elena wondered out loud. 
A knock on the door brought Elena back to reality. “Jell-o? You back?” a man’s voice came from the other side. 
“Yeah, come in! I’m here.”
Carlos, Elena’s roommate made his way into the room. He is also Venezuelan, and considerably taller than her. He hugged her and put his hands on her shoulders.
“You’re so fucking tanned. I’m so jealous.”
“The beach life is the best life. Shame we left home.”
“Yeah, but we escaped communism, so we kind of won.”
“True.”
He sat on the sofa in Elena’s room. “Did you just get in? How you feeling? Do you want to get fries and you can tell me all about your trip?”
“Give me an hour to shower. I should also unpack,” said Elena, pointing at her messy suitcase.
“I’ll go get the food and we’ll have it here,” Carlos said. 
“Ugh, even better. You’re the best.”
Carlos and Elena were the best of friends. They had been since 2006. Elena was sure Jack would hate his guts. 
“So, you’re dating a Scot that lives in London?” Carlos asked, sceptical. They were sat in their little dining room table.
“Pretty much,” said Elena, dipping a fry in Samourai sauce. 
“And in a couple of days his best friend is staying with us because he has work here?” Carlos really had no idea what was going on. Every new information made his question the entire trip, even more than Elena had done on the flight back.
“Yup.”
“I’m sorry. Did you get married and didn’t invite me? Because I will fucking lose it right now,” Carlos was dumbfounded. 
“Yeah, I guess when you say it like that it sounds weird,” Elena shrugged. 
The door to their apartment opened and a shorter man walked in. This is Andres, their other best friend.
“Hey! You’re back!” He walked over to Elena, gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. 
“No, dude, and wait until you hear what she has to say. She got married in Portugal and didn’t invite us.”
Andres grabbed a chair and sat next to them. “What?”
“I’m seeing this guy,” said Elena. 
“What?”
“I met a Scot in Portugal and we had two weeks of fantastic sex. We didn’t want to leave it, so we’re going to try and see if we can manage seeing each other.”
“Yes, that will most definitely work,” said Andres, deadpan, not believing a word Elena said, standing up and grabbing a beer from their refrigerator.
“What makes you believe he doesn’t have a girlfriend back in London?” asked Carlos.
“He’s the insanely jealous type, so I doubt he likes to share with anyone. This includes himself.” The words came out of her mouth before she could truly grasp what she was doing. Elena had been surrounded by boys her whole life, and they always got possessive about her. These boys, their group from high school, were the worst. By saying Jack was the jealous type, he immediately became a target. 
“Oh god, Elena, seriously? Are you going out with a prick? Again? Can we let you go on holiday in peace?” Andres shook his head, annoyed.
“Let me guess, Olivia encouraged this,” said Carlos with a hint of disdain. Those two had dated in Venezuela before everyone went their separate ways, and it didn’t end very well. 
“She would have actually married me if Lucy hadn’t intervened,” Elena laughed. 
“His best friend is coming next week and staying here with us,” Carlos announced to Andres, who clearly did not approve of everything he had heard for the last hour. 
“Guys, I have absolutely no faith in this, okay? I honestly don’t think this is going to work, but he’s great and the sex is amazing, so if I can get some regular dick without the commitment of having to see someone once a week, I’m going to take it.”
“I am absolutely unconvinced. When is he coming to introduce himself?” Carlos asked. 
“I told him I’d tell him when he could come. I wanted to settle back into my real life before he’d show up.”
“A sensible choice,” said Andres.
After what felt hours of Judgement Day, Elena was finally on her bed, naked. Summer in Brussels was awful, and the heat unbearable. She was glad she’d bought a fan when they were still cheap and that made it less horrible. She was reading on her iPad when her phone vibrated again. She knew who it was.
Jack: Birdie, I haven’t heard from ye all day. Are ye okay?
She had another one that made her giggle.
Tom: Mate, could you please just tell him you’re fine. He’s been making us miserable with his shitty mood. 
Elena: Joke’s on you for living with him. 
Tom: Fuck off! 
Elena: I dare you to tell him I replied to your messages but not his. 
Tom: No thanks. I need to be alive next week. I hope you’re cleaning the sofa I’ll be sleeping on. 
Elena: Yes, I hope you’re keeping the allowance they gave you because you’re taking me out to dinner.
Tom: of course, love. I’ve the money on me. I arrive Thursday morning. 
Elena: fantastic, just in time to mingle with the young adults and get drunk at Plux. 
Tom: Plux?
Elena: You’ll see what I mean. Let’s talk tomorrow. I’m going to reply to your friend now. 
Tom: See you soon xx
Elena: Hey, made it home okay. I was catching up with Carlos and Andres. How was your day?
The phone vibrated almost immediately. 
Jack: This is yer roommate and your neighbour, no?
Elena: Yes. Best friends from school. 
Jack: My day was less than thrilling. Coming back to this fucked weather made me miss Portugal already. 
Elena: How’s settling in with your new flatmates?
Jack: I have no idea why the bloody fuck I thought this would be a good idea for all of us. 
Elena: LMAO that well?
Jack: I am going to murder Harry before the year is over. Remember this.  
Elena: you’ll go to jail :(
Jack: would ye miss me?
Elena: who would I tell that I’m naked right now in my empty double bed?
Jack video-called Elena. She picked up.
“Very smooth. Very very smooth,” said Elena laughing loudly.
“Let me see ye, please.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want you to get used to this happening every night,” she said sternly.
“Birdie, please,” his voice begging made Elena close her thighs to create a bit of friction but was cut off by a muffled sound that came from Jack’s door and some banging. 
“What’s that?” Elena asked. 
Jack let out an exasperated sigh. “Let me show you.”
Jack switched the camera and the door opened to reveal Harry with a bottle of wine in his hand, wearing nothing but boxers.
“Mate, what are you doing? Come drink with us.”
“I’m on the phone.”
“Who are you talking to? Is it Elena?! BIIIIIIIRDIEEEEEEEEE!!!” Harry screamed, grabbed the mobile and left Jack’s room. “How are you? How was your flight back? Are you knackered? Boys, say hi to Elena!” Harry was bubblier than usual. How he always managed to have that amount of energy was beyond Elena’s belief.
Fionn waved and laughed at how angry Jack was behind Harry. 
“I’ve spoken with her today, I don’t need to see her again,” said Tom.
“Hey, Thomas, I resent your tone,” said Elena, stifling laughter. 
“Sorry, love. I don’t want to get sick of you. I’m spending a week with you next week.”
“True.”
Harry whined. “I’d forgot Tommy gets to see you next week! When am I going? Why are you ignoring me? Why is Tom your favourite?”
Elena laughed. She knew Harry loved to push Jack’s buttons and he was unbelievably successful doing so. “I am not ignoring you! I’m talking to you right now. Tom is my favourite because he’s not bloody drunk all the time screaming ‘More wine!’ every five minutes.”
Harry put his hand on his chest, acting as if he were hurt. “Mate, that fucking Portuguese wine is delicious.”
“Harry, mate, could I please have my phone back?” Jack was seething. 
“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine. See you soon, love. If you don’t tell me when I can go, I’ll just show up at your doorstep. I’m sure Jacky would love it.”
Elena shook her head. “Jacky can love whatever he wants. You’re his friend, not mine, babe. It’s his poor choice in friendships being judged here, not mine.”
The boys laughed loudly. 
“You see why I love her? See you soon.” Harry handed the mobile back to Jack, who ripped it from his hands and locked himself up in his bedroom. 
“Why did you move in with them? You can afford a place of your own,” Elena laughed. She didn’t understand why Jack insisted on torturing himself like that in the first place. He loved his uni mates but he was very much his own person at that point, being the oldest of the bunch. 
“I know, but I spent a lot of my savings in Shanghai, so I want to get that money back and then get me a place of my own.”
“Ah, the expat bubble. A true gem,” said Elena, deadpan.
Jack laughed. “I miss yer smart mouth.”
“Where do you miss it?”
Jack coughed. “What?”
“Where do you miss my smart mouth?” Elena repeated. She turned on her pink nightlight, an IKEA cheap purchase that made her room look like a weird 80s porn movie. She flipped the camera so Jack could see her body. “I could show you where I miss your mouth,” Elena said as she caressed her thighs and moaned softly. 
He stood up and locked his bedroom door before making his way onto the bed again. 
“I don’t want to risk Harry coming in to me wanking to ye,” huffed Jack.
Elena laughed. “You don’t have to apologise for that, babe. Now… where were we?”
“Show me where ye miss me.”
“Well, my boobs don’t really miss you because they can move freely now, so I won’t show you those.”
Jack laughed. “Best pillows in the world. How do ye make Skype sex funny and arousing?”
“I am a girl of many talents, as you know.”
“Show me yer talents. Touch yerself.”
“Where?”
“Ye know where.”
“I think you’re going to have to… guide me…” her voice trailed off and Jack started grunting. 
“Circle yer clit.”
“I want to see your cock now.”
“Yer wish is my command.” Jack flipped the camera and he was already naked from the waist down. His member hard just by the sound of Elena’s voice. 
“Ughhhhh hi babyyyyy I miss you so much already. My mouth is not the same without you in it.”
Jack laughed and squirmed as precum leaked out of him. “How the fuck do ye manage to turn me on so much?”
“I want to see you wanking. I don’t want to see your cock by itself if I’m not there taking care of it.”
Jack started pumping himself and Elena teased him until both released in a calm but necessary orgasm. Skype sex would never be the same thing. 
“I miss ye already.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Jack sighed. “Yer regretting it already, aren’t ye?”
“Why do you think you can read me like an open book?” Elena said defensively.
“Because ye are.”
“I just don’t see it working out.”
Jack sighed again. “Birdie, why don’t we try one day at a time? We’ll be fine. Just… don’t overthink it.”
Elena sighed. “Good night, Jack.” 
She hung up. 
Jack had forgot he had made a mess earlier and stood up to clean himself up. After changing and a cold shower, he unlocked the door to his room and faced his new flatmates, who were in a circle, laughing and drinking the wine Harry had brought back. As soon as they saw his face, Harry stood and got another glass of wine. Jack sat next to him and shook his head. 
“It’s okay, mate. I’ll talk to her when I see her,” said Tom. 
“Mate, you knew it wasn’t going to be easy, knowing how she is,” said Fionn. 
“One day at a time, mate. She’s the most challenging bird you’ve been with to date, but don’t worry. We’ll help you get on and be victorious!” Harry put his arm around Jack’s shoulders and gave him a kiss on his temple. 
For a minute, Jack had remembered why he had decided to move with his mates. 
Day one back had proved challenging already, and he wasn’t going to Brussels for another two weeks.
NEXT: Casablanca Picnics
A/N: This would be the first instalment of the Praia sequel. I’m not really sure how many parts it will be, even though I have a general idea where I want to take the story. Let me know what you thiiiiiink :) <3
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writingsofmyimagination · 6 years ago
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Instinct |2|
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Happy Reading People :)
Captain Levi x Reader 
Summary:  Summary: An unwelcome(ish) blast from the Captain’s trainee days comes back to the Scouting Regiment and old habits die hard.Levi X Reader
Instinct: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
Words:1959
Warnings:Swearing. No Smut...Yet.
The birds chirped you back to consciousness at the crack of dawn. You wearily rolled out of bed struggling to adjust to the light which pierced through the slit in the curtains. You dressed with growing enthusiasm for the day which ended with you restraining yourself from running down the corridors, eager to have the drowsy sun touch your skin.
The air outside was brisk nipping at your skin pulling goose-bumps to the surface. The wind was deathly calm which was a perfect condition for your ODM private time. You excitedly jogged across the grassy area until you were close enough to deploy your hooks, propelling you through the threshold of the forest. The sound of the gas releasing incites a deep calmness within you. The wooded titans where still where they used to be, smirk radiating of your face blindingly. You spun yourself into a graceful turn pulling your blades from their holster and sliced through the pads at the practice titan’s nape; cutting as smoothly as it ever did, you landed strongly distributing your weight evenly through your legs.
 Looking up from your superhero like landing you saw a blur of figures making their way in your direction. Within moments you could make out faces, an interesting concoction of determination, excitement and responsibility. Though familiar from around the training camp many were still nameless to you. Erwin was walking sternly behind them herding his flock to graze. He was conversing with the unmistakable frame and stature of Levi. Gaining your breath back calming the rush of your heart battering in your chest and downgraded your ecstatic grin smile to avoid looking crazily keen.
"Everyone this is Corporal Y/LN" Erwin paused giving you free reign of the introduction of yourself.
"Nice to finally meet you all, Erwin has filled me in great detail about all of you and your talents. I have been brought in to assist Captain Levi with training and fully inducting you into the scout regiment. You may not have met me but the training you have just completed was devised and structured by myself, Training Commander Shadis reports directly to me.” You paused for a beat “Make no mistake, do not think of this as an advanced class, a mistake in the scouts will most likely cost you or your comrade’s life in the most painful fashion so be sure to pay attention” You were sure you noticed Levi’s mouth twitch up at the side. You were never one to mince words; it was one of the reasons you and Levi clicked so well in the first place.
“Wait a minute are you THE Corporal Y/LN” a small blonde boy with choppy hair asked. The others looked at him puzzle pieces not fitting in their minds.
“I am a Corporal Y/LN” you responded sarcastically.
“You are aren’t you” he continued, he turned to face the others who’d chucked the puzzle on the floor in confusion.
“Y/N was a member of the scout regiment before the walls were breached, she was one of three survivors after a training mission outside the walls went terribly wrong. She was the youngest recipient of the medal of bravery; she risked her life so the others remaining could escape. In doing so she was nearly devoured by a titan and sustained heavy injuries to her left side where she was bitten; one of the squad managed to save her just in time.” The groups’ blank faces turned back to you with a look of shock and awe before looking back to the blonde boy. I stole a glance at the commander who seemed happy to approve. Without even looking Levi you knew his eyes had shot down with regret, his dark hair attempting to hide his face as it drooped in front of his face. With that said he maintained his closed off cold stance with his arms crossed.
“Yes that is me, thank you for that mini biography, I’m guessing your Armin Arlert?” Erwin mentioned a boy gifted with knowledge and tactical insights.
“Yes ma’am” he saluted sincerely, his fists growing white with the respect he was holding.
“Oooo can we see your scars?” A tall dark haired girl bundled over in front of me tripping over her own feet. A unanimous giggle hummed through the other recruits before dying down as quickly as it had started. You helped her to her feet, her cheeks had flushed with a red haze “You must be Sasha Braus” you guessed.
“You brats aren’t here for a show or to gossip, get on that course and get warmed up otherwise you’ll end up titan food quicker than that one can eat a potato!” he motioned to Sasha with his dark eyes, the red flush on her cheeks only glowed brighter. All of them propelled their anchors and deployed panicked “Sir” they all shouted in almost perfect synchronicity; the fear of Levi already instilled.
“Well I can see you guys have this handled and won’t have any issues getting them in order, I’ll be with Hanji if you need me” And with that he turned and left, leaving you on your own with him.
“I knew that bastard was up to something” Levi blurted out, you couldn’t distinguish if he was talking to you or whether it was just a statement to himself.
“Isn’t he always” you responded anyway. He half chuckled and then all conversation was dead in the water, silence had never been awkward between you and to your surprise it still wasn’t. You knew there was a whole typhoon of unspoken words but you were going to ride out the calm before the storm happily.
“Eren balance your weight!” you shouted up as he’d terribly misjudged an anchor point and landed on the floor with a crash.
“Why don’t you come and do this!” Eren screamed his face crumpled with frustration; as soon as the word left his mouth his eyed widened in horror realising the huge disrespect of his outburst. “I’m sorry Corporal I didn’t mean to.. I” You halted his next words with a raised hand. Amusingly his eyes let go of yours and travelled over to Levi and the fear really blossomed in his glossy eyes.
“So you want me to show you I’m worth taking orders from ey?” you challenged “Captain fancy showing these guys how it’s done?” you asked hoping to bring some conversation back between you.
“I don’t need to show the brats a thing, I’d say you probably need the practice” he quipped. Asshole the cheek of it, you now had a huge point to prove and you would shove it in his face.
“Fine” almost sulkily “Everyone up on a branch and watch”.
When you landed the trainees mouths had all formed a large O shape, even Levi’s eyebrows had moved to a raised position.
“In future DO NOT doubt your superiors, trust is paramount within your squad. Now go again!” you barked. You jumped down over to the tree where Levi was leant. The sound of gas canisters and camaraderie filled the vacuum of silence.
“That wasn’t half bad” Levi spoke, face still glaring forward at the trainees.
“Half bad?” you exclaimed insulted “I’d say matched your time twinkle toes” you toyed. His reaction was instant, you was thrust back harshly against the tree bark scraping down your spine. His hand was constricting your throat
“I hate that name even more now, let’s leave that nickname in the past shall we?” he seethed that old familiar temper filtering through his pupils. Air flooded back through your airways as he released you and you dropped to the floor when your legs forgot to hold you. You could feel curious eyes burn into you both.  What was the need for that, your familiar anger frothed and you flung yourself up at Levi and struck him square in the face and took his feet out from under him only to catch his hand and stop him from falling
“Come on Levi you know I best you at hand to hand, don’t you ever raise a hand to me again!” you managed as calm as you could. Remorse flooded his face, you was the only one who ever really got under his skin enough to provoke any real emotional response. You stomped off, your point proven. Using your old nickname for him obviously struck a chord; maybe burial of the past training days you thought as you heard him shouting at the others.
“Show’s over brats! Go and get yourself disgusting selves cleaned up and head to lunch”
You hurriedly stripped down when you got to your room and changed into just black trousers and white blouse, your ODM Gear was chucked half delicately onto the bed. Checking yourself in the bathroom mirror; most of your h/c  hair had trickled out of your headband and lightly clung to your skin, you yanked all hairbands out causing them to pinch at your skin when they pinged back into your hand. Despite everything you’d faced your face naturally seemed bright and younger than it should have.
There was a gentle tap at the door.
“It’s open!” you said loudly while still remaining polite, you leaned back to see Levi walking in and closing the door behind him. His eyes quickly scanned the room judging the cleanliness obsessively. “How can I help you Captain?” you made no attempt to camouflage the disapproval of his visit in your voice. He’d lost his brown short jacket but had not taken of the binding black ODMG leather harness which was still wrapped snugly round his waist and legs. It always impressed you how flawlessly his undercut was always clippered. You joined him in the main room to him staring out of the window.
“I thought I’d come and try to resolve our little…. altercation”
“So you’ve come to apologise?” you paused “I thought that sort of thing was benea…” Mid sentence you was pushed against the wall, his body crashing to yours, his hands snaked on the side of your face. He quickly had his tongue undulating with yours silencing you before lavishing his lips attention onto your neck. This wind of surprise carried you away, breezing straight down your spine to your core, it felt exactly like you remember.
“The fuck Levi” you exclaimed breathless, thankful your better judgement stepped in and stopped your desire from growing into an uncontrollable gust. You rebuffed him away
“That may have been how we resolved our differences when we were training but not now!” you couldn’t believe the audacity of him you told yourself trying to drown the re-emerging memories of how he felt against your skin. “So you’re telling me that you don’t want to fuck like the old days?” he retorted. You did now, your body was more than happy to oblige.
“Exactly, the old days. It was too intense, for the both of us, we got attached.”
“That was an oversight I’ll admit” he mumbled nonchalantly.
“Jesus Levi, an oversight? People died because you disobeyed an order because of ‘our oversight’. I guess now it wouldn’t be a problem because you’re such a stoic bastard” your voice was louder now correlating with your anger.
“I’m going to grab my rations and you better not be here when I get back” Just as you reach the threshold of your room
“You were all I could find comfort in this fucked up world and the only thing I wanted to make sense of” he blurted out. “I know it was the same for you” he added louder as you’d increased the distance between you. Did he just briefly open up you? “Shit” you breathed quietly to yourself knowing he wasn’t wrong.
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seriestrash · 8 years ago
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The Story of Us
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Prologue || 1 ||
 ✮ Chapter Two: First Day ✮
Word Count: 2958
Note: I forgot to add it on first part in the prologue but pretend that Lucas was supposed to transfer to NYC during his freshman year of high school and not seventh grade. I just wanted them to be older for this story.. :) 
Also make sure you’ve actually read the prologue as well as chapter one!! I know some people missed it!!
✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮
After dragging herself out of bed and into the shower Riley dresses for school and makes her way downstairs where she finds Jed sitting on the sofa with a laptop in hand. The old man shares some news that doesn’t go down well with the New Yorker.
“You’re going to make me catch the bus on my first day at a new school?” Riley’s eyes are wide with disbelief.
“I don’t like to drive much,” Jed croaks.
“How will I know what to do?” Riley asks in a panic.
“There’s only one school bus in this town, it picks you up at the top of the street,” Jed explains. “And I’d hurry if I were you because it comes at 7:15 sharp.”
Riley looks at the time. 7:12am. Feeling bold Riley looks up and finds Jed’s stare. “And what if I miss the bus?” Riley challenges.
“Then I’m going to have to call your mom,” Jed doesn’t back down, “And the kids may be scared of me in this town but I’m no Topanga.”
Riley lets out a loud groan and gives Jed a mean glare before she sulks out of the house. Slowly. The moment she’s out of her grandfathers sight Riley bolts up the street where she sees the bus is already there. There was no way she could handle an earful from her monster right now but there was also no way she was going to give Jed the satisfaction of watching her squirm. The bus starts to pull away but Riley catches up in just enough time to wave it down. Riley gets on, slightly out of breath and apologises to the driver.
"That’s alright, sweet pea, just try get here a little earlier next time,” the lady polite grins.
Riley nods and goes to take a seat. The New Yorker lowers her gaze once she notices all eyes on her. Riley moves towards the back few rows where there are empty seats but before she could claim one, the driver hits a pot hole or a speed bump and it jolts the whole bus, causing Riley to lose her balance. The brunette stumbles backwards and lands in the lap of a boy sat at the back of the bus. Stunned about what just transpired Riley doesn’t immediately move. Instead she finds herself nervously mumbling an apology as she loses herself in his green eyes.
“I’m Lucas,” he says looking rather amused at the whole ordeal.
“Riley,” she awkwardly climbs off his lap.
“So you’re the new student?” A girl with beautiful brown skin and a wide smile asks from the seat in front. 
“Yep.” Riley nods thinking news really does travel fast around here.
“The snob,” Lucas says aloud without really thinking. 
In that instant Riley was so offended by the strangers judgement that she couldn’t let it slide. She was so tired of hearing words like ‘snob’ and 'brat’ thrown around in arguments with her parents that his comment ignited a rage within her. Although, Riley does manages to compose herself and swiftly execute her response, “I think passing judgements on people before you get the chance to know them makes you the snob.” Riley takes a seat but turns back to face him, “Or at the very least a jerk.”
The girl in front of him choked on her laughter and Riley turns her gaze back towards the front of the bus. She hears the girl still laughing and Lucas scowling at her to stop, “Shut up, Vanessa.”
✮ ✮ ✮
When Riley enters the quaint cafeteria at lunch almost all eyes were on her again as she tries to navigate her way to a table. Riley spots a a girl sitting alone off to the side. She’s quite possibly the only person in the room not staring at her. Riley makes her way over and hovers by with her tray. “Mind if I sit here?” She asks.
The girl lifts her head, she looks surprised that the question was directed at her but nods with a smile and motions for Riley to take a seat.
“I’m Riley,” she introduces herself as she sits in the seat across from her.
“Hi, I’m Mabel,” the girl smiles.
Riley takes a moment to take in the new girl. Her strawberry blonde hair is long and shiny. Her big green eyes shine through the rounded glasses that perch delicately on her lightly freckled nose. Riley smiles at the pretty girl whose got that shy kind of beauty she’s read about in books. A term she’s never fully understood until now. 
“I think you were in my chemistry class just before,” Riley tries to get a conversation flowing with the shy girl. 
“I’ll be in most of your classes,” Mabel chuckles nervously, “With a year level as small as ours there’s really only one class..” 
“Really?” Riley crinkles her brows. “I mean, I assumed it would be small but.. That small?” 
“This is pretty much the entire school,” Mabel looks around the tiny cafeteria. 
“Wow,” Riley shakes her head in disbelief. 
“This must be like living in a shoe box compared to the big city,” Mabel says. 
Riley tosses her head from side to side and settles with a nod, “It’s certainly different. In a way it’s kind of bigger...” Riley shakes her head and stops herself before she slips into a ramble, “You ever been to New York?” 
“Once,” Mabel nods, “But I was younger so I don’t really remember.” 
“Well if you ever do go you’ll have to look me up,” Riley clasps her hands together and rests them on the table, “I’ll be your personal guide!”
“Oh, so this move is only temporary?” Mabel questions. 
“Yep.” Riley bops her head. 
“Is it for your parents work or... ?” Mabel lightly presses for more information. 
“More like an apparent attitude problem,” Riley unfolds her hands subconsciously and adjusts her position. 
“This is a punishment?” Mabel questions. 
“Mom and dad got tired of dealing with me so they sent me here to live with my grandfather,” Riley wasn’t sure why she was sharing all this with Mabel but something about her made Riley open up. 
“So you really are Jedediah Lawrence’s granddaughter?” Mabel asks. 
“How did you know that?” Riley crinkles her brows. 
“Well you mentioned it to Cassidy at the market and it took all of three seconds to travel down the line to my mom,” Mabel lets out an embarrassed laugh. 
“So this is what it’s going to be like, huh?” Riley shares a deflated laugh, “Everyone’s going to know my business?” 
“Sometimes before you even know it yourself,” Mabel jokes. “So do you know how long you’re here for?” 
“Until I’m fixed I guess,” Riley shrugs not really knowing the answer. As easy as she was to talk to Riley tries to steer the conversation away from her family issues. “Since you seem to know everything,” Riley laughs softly, “Wanna give me a rundown of this place?” 
Mabel starts subtly giving Riley the ‘who’s who’. The brunette is impressed how the girl can point someone out without even turning her head. Finally Mabel settles on a table of five girls and starts telling Riley about their small cheer team. “There’s Mackenzie, Addison, Skyler and Lucy,” Mabel runs off a descriptive factor for each so Riley know’s what name belongs to what girl. “Then the leader of them all,” Mabel’s mood shifts, “Vanessa.”
The girl from the bus this morning. Riley wanted to ask why Mabel seemed off when it came to Vanessa but before she could Mabel trails off mid sentence. Riley follows her line of sight to see what has distracted her. The New Yorker locks eyes on a pair of beautiful boys with matching faces. Identical twins, their only real differences are hair and fashion sense.
One seems to have an edgier style, ripped black jeans and a matching tee while the other was softer looking, baggy blue jeans rolled up to above his ankles, a simple white tee and white trainers. Both uniquely different but both still manage to give off country vibes. Black jeans with an unbuttoned red flannel over his black tee and blue jeans with a sliver buckled tan belt. Come to think of it Riley noticed it was that way for a lot of people here. The general fashion ‘statement’ was just laid back clothing but anyone that broke away from the stereotypical norm of country clothing still had the western vibes mixed in with it.
“Is it just me or does it seem like they walk in slow motion?” Riley turns back to Mabel with a laugh. It’s like she was watching a movie scene unfold where they strut through the cafeteria at a slowed pace to emphasise how wonderful they were.
“They would be the Dunn twins.” Mabel lets out a deep breath and peels her eyes away from them and back to Riley. “Tristan and Thomas.”
For some reason the name sounded vaguely familiar to Riley but the thing that stood out the most to her was the striking resemblance they had to the boy on the bus. “Do they have a brother at this school?” Riley asks, “Well, another brother?”
“You’ve seen Lucas?” Mabel subtly nudges her head and Riley turns around to see the same seemingly slow motion scene of Lucas strutting over to the twins. He meets her eyes for a second, giving Riley an almost sheepish smirk before tucking his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and continuing on his way. 
“Unfortunately,” Riley fights an eye roll as she turns her attention back to Mabel.
Intrigued by her distaste Mabel pricks up a brow but instead of questioning the New Yorker she explains their relation, “They’re cousins. Lucas’ mom and their dad are twins. Lucas is a year older but the three of them have passed as brothers since forever."
“And where do they fit into this place?” Riley asks. 
“Baseball bad boys,” Mabel scrunches up her face at how lame that sounded and the two girls laugh it off together. “They’re all on the team together but around here they’re known more as troublemakers...” 
“Oh?” Riley pricks up a brow. 
“I don’t know...” Mabel frowns, “They’re not exactly ‘smoking under the bleachers outside’ kinda guys... I think they’re more just rowdy and maybe a little obnoxious? They’re just not exactly the cookie cutter country boys you’d automatically think of- It’s hard to explain... You’ll see.”
“And rowdy and obnoxious are qualities you like in a guy?” Riley smirks. 
“What?” Mabel asks nervously. 
“Come on,” A smile creeps upon Riley’s face, “You like one of them! You’re all you know,” Riley gives her a knowing chuckle. 
“No, no, of course not,” Mabel shakes her head frantically.
“Which one?” Riley asks in a playful tone. 
“Thomas,” Mabel whispers in defeat. 
“Which twin is he?” Riley questions, “Flippy hair or the more quaffed one?” 
“Flippy,” Mabel whispers. 
Black jeans. Riley mentally files away names to faces in accordance with their hairstyle and fashion differences. 
“And how does he feel about you?” Riley questions.
“I don’t think he even knows I exist,” Mabel deflates.
“I find that hard to believe,” Riley nibbles on the corner of her sandwich, “This, this is the whole school right here,” Riley laughs looking at the 150 give or take a few - students sat in the tiny cafeteria, “If he doesn’t know all these people by name then he’s definitely not worth your time….”
Mabel smiles to herself. “They've always tended to stick to themselves.. Even more so since they’re a man down now.” 
“Someone died?” Riley whispers with wide eyes. 
“No!” Mabel squeaks and a few other students give the pair awkward glances so the redhead softens again, “He just moved away.” 
“Oh,” Riley laughs nervously. That was a relief. Obnoxious or not no one deserves to lose a friend. 
“So you think he knows who I am?” Mabel asks as she lets her eyes wander over towards the twins again.
Riley smiles again at the flustered girl. “You’re hard to miss.”
✮ ✮ ✮
That afternoon Riley walks back from the bus stop towards Jed’s house. She passes Cassidy pulling grocery bags from her car. Struggling to get a grip on the bag she tries to prop it up with her knee. Riley stops and offers her assistance. Cassidy happily accepts and leads them inside.
The inside of her house - and outside for that matter - was much more homely than that of Jed’s. It was very different to the decor of her apartment in New York but Riley liked it, it was warm, it felt like home. Not her home but homely for sure.
Cassidy thanks Riley and as their making their way to the door a little girl peeps her hear around the corner at he top of the stairs.
“Annabeth why don’t you come down and say hello to Riley?” Cassidy asks her.
The girl skips down and hides behind her mothers skirt.
“This here is Beth,” Cassidy pats daughters head.
“That’s a pretty name,” Riley gives her a warm smile.
“You dress funny,” The girl says as she reaches out to pat Riley’s fishnet sleeves.
“Annabeth!” Cassidy scolds.
“It’s alright,” Riley laughs. “Thanks,” She wiggles her eyebrows at the younger girl and she giggles.
Just as Riley won over the cute little blonde girl someone walks through the door. A man in uniform, Cassidy’s husband she assumed.
“Why do I feel like I’ve done something bad all of the sudden?” Riley laughs nervously.
“I have that effect on people,” He chuckles. “You must be Riley, my wife was telling me about you. I’m James, or Jimmy.”
“Something tells me I should call you Sheriff,” Riley smiles.
James takes Beth upstairs to change for her dance lesson and Riley hovers in the living room with Cassidy. It wasn’t exactly weird for Riley since she liked people but on paper it seemed odd that she hangs around her neighbours home after a day of knowing them.
“So how was your first day at school?” Cassidy asks.
“Pretty much what you’d expect I guess,” Riley shrugs not knowing how to answer properly.
“Did you meet our son? He’s a junior too.” Cassidy asks.
“The one who left you hanging at the market?” Riley asks and then apologises quickly, “I’m so sorry that was nosy.”
“It’s alright,” Cassidy gives her a reassuring smile, “He’s a troubled boy but deep down he’s got a heart of gold.”
Riley smiles at the unnecessary information, “What’s his name?”
“Oh there, he is,” Cassidy grins and motions past Riley, “Lucas, look who’s here.”
Riley locks gazes with a rather confused looking Lucas. That’s why Dunn sounded so familiar to Riley. Cassidy was telling Riley about Mrs. Dunn the English teacher at the market, aka her sister in law. Riley mentally shuns herself for not being able to piece together the relation herself. Cassidy was Lucas’ mom which means Lucas is her neighbour.
“I was just asking Riley if you two met at school today,” Cassidy says to her son.
“I think I might have seen him around but I don’t believe we’ve officially met,” Riley gives Lucas a look but turns back to Cassidy with a smile.
“Right, the new girl,” Lucas nods, “I’m Lucas.”
“Riley,” she smiles knowing his mother was watching. “Well I should probably get going,” Riley announces, “It was nice seeing you again,” Riley says to Cassidy, “And meeting you, Lucas,” Riley turns to him. With that she makes a swift exit.
✮ ✮ ✮
Later that evening there’s a knock on the front door. Riley goes to answer it and is surprised to see Lucas standing there.
“My mom made me bring over this pie,” Lucas holds it in front of himself, “To say thank you for the help this afternoon.”
“A whole pie just for helping with some groceries?” Riley laughs. “Wow.”
“She’s a little over the top sometimes,” Lucas laughs too.
“Tell her I said thank you,” Riley takes the pie off him and goes to close the door.
“Wait,” Lucas says and Riley stops. “Why did you lie to my mom?”
“You mean why didn’t I tell her you were a jerk this morning?” Riley asks.
“Yeah,” Lucas bows his head a little, “It certainly was a perfect way to get back at me for it.” “By the sounds of it you give her a pretty hard time. I didn’t need to add to that...” Riley says, “She’s a nice lady, maybe ease up on her a little?”
“Sure..” Lucas gives her perplexed look.
“Goodnight, Lucas,” Riley says after an awkward silence passes.
“Right,” He laughs nervously, “Goodnight, Riley.”
Once Riley closes the door she spins around with a pie and once again Jed scares her. He’s like a creature lurking in the shadows. Riley lets out a nervous giggle and says that Mrs. Friar baked them a pie.
“Nice woman,” Jed nods, “She brings me over dinners once a week, even though I insist she shouldn’t.”
“Really?” Riley coaxes her head.
“Yeah,” Jed nods, “We have tea.” 
Riley lets out a laugh not sure why she found that so funny but nonetheless she covers her mouth trying to seize her giggle. 
“I heard what you told Lucas about easing up on his mother.” Jed says, “That’s some good advice. Maybe you should listen to it yourself… Your parents have tried to call you at least a dozen times since you’ve gotten here.”
“I’ll call them later,” Riley brushes it off. Truth is she was ignoring their calls to prove how angry she was with this move. Riley knew she’d have to get over it eventually but for now? She was going to be a brat.
End Notes: They’ve finally met!!! This was the first reimagined Rucas moment I’ve included in the story [subway -> bus lap moment] the story will feature a few moments that have been rewritten and worked into this story. Don’t worry the actual story itself is new but some low-key moments may find their way into the story... Let’s see if you can pick up on them all ;) 
Also I’m S O R R Y I didn’t make Vanessa, Riley’s go to gal but the cannon information we have on her, cheerleader blah blah makes her fit into a different part of this story but DONT WORRY she won't be a villain and she will DEFINITELY have more depth to her so stay with me on that choice please!!! 
People who wanted to be tagged for updates: @siennese​ @pamela-barron​ @nicolecolin​
If you too want to be tagged in future updates just send me a message and if at any point you want me to stop tagging you well, send me a message!! 
REVIEWS / COMMENTS / ANYTHING, ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED !!! :)
p.s next chapter; A LOT MORE R x L
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varshagk · 8 years ago
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Coat over the eyes.
               When you are reaching the age of 26, and thinking if you are on the right track, you realize your brain is on an overdrive. Millennials is what they call us, rightly so, by naming our generation of confused ‘hearts’. I say the word in quotes because we are never entirely happy, and it is a constant fight between priorities.
This generation is also, however, a big failure on judgement. Not that our previous generations were not the same, or better. A highly adored porn star within your room, versus a victim of rape in public are compared on the same plate. For one, it is a profession and for the other, devoid of choice. Instead, the profession needs to be respected for what it is, and the seize of honor needs to be discriminated to the highest degree. If you ask me, both of them are at the extreme ends of any scale.
In the age of Facebook and Instagram, and god knows what not; it is really hard to live a life. Someone is in Europe, while someone else is giving birth to a child. While I have no will to go to Europe or push a child through my vagina, I still feel the urge to do so. Never thinking if I really want to do it. FOMO, the even younger generation to mine, calls it. Fear of missing out! Do we? Really? I guess so.
Taking myself as an example, when I was about to move to Singapore, I had told my then friend that “I will never wear shorts. I will never become one of those girls”. I mean, why the fuck, why would I say that? I don’t get my 22 year old self now. For me, it ended up being comfort than style. Try living in this heat. But along with the comfort, a weird sense of confidence seeped in, mainly about my body. All my life, people have called me short, plump, dark, not really beautiful, etc. I can keep listing. One particular middle aged lady even offered her much “needed” advice, that I shouldn’t feel bad, I don’t have my mother’s color. Nope, not complexion, she said color. Yes, people; seems God paints us with a color of choice.              
Unbelievably, the shorter the clothes were, my confidence kept rising higher. Who cares if I am short, who cares that I am dark. It is how I was born, it is how I choose to stay, it is how I choose to live. Strip me naked and I can still walk through a crowd, not ashamed of my body. Trust me, just the aura of confidence was enough for people to acknowledge the beauty of me being a basic human. One such friend I met in Singapore after 9 years said, “Varsha, you look so different and beautiful.” Though I am not used to compliments, this actually made me think. Why the fuck did I ever doubt myself?! I didn’t need to be validated. You are the best judge of yourself, they say. Any sane person knows killing a person is wrong, and saving a life is right. Wouldn’t we all know wrong from right in the same way? Why should we let someone judge ourselves on right or wrong, beautiful or ugly?
The middle grey area, is where the judgement lies in everyone’s eyes. Mind you, this judgement is always with a coat. A coat which depends on where you grow up, or how you choose to grow up or plain simple on how you choose to live. A friend of mine has a comical personality he likes to talk in – pakkad mane aunty (which in Kannada means my lady neighbor, if I can say so). She has a coat of being “traditional and cultural”. Some people I knew had the coat on how girls should behave, some had the coat on how a daughter should behave, some had the coat of how relationships should work and you get it by now.
“Don’t ever let anyone make you feel small, or insignificant. They don’t know what path you have taken, how many battles you have fought and how amazing you are.” - A friend of mine left this note on my desk on one of worst days of being judged and bullied. Brought me right back up. Hell, it’s true. I have the biggest examples in my dad and mom. Both have fought their battles, separately and together. Thinking of their lives together, my dad is a silent safe haven and my mom is a fierce protector of my identity. I am sure it wasn’t easy bringing up an out spoken daughter in India, and letting her remain that way. A typical Indian hierarchal system once told my parents, “Have some control on your daughter, she is too bold for this place, and always being found with boys isn’t good for her future prospects.” Scared to my wits, awaiting my dad to return home, he came into my room, cuddled me and told, “We love you Guddu, and we are proud of you.” Fast forward 4 months, I was in a boarding school far away from the wretched place.
When my parents were fighting the coat of judgement every single day for my sake, I don’t know why it got to me. I guess I was a teenager, high on hormones, or I was just trying to fit in. I was a nobody the first few days at my boarding school, until the first set of tests. If I remember well, I topped the class in Math and History. Here comes the coat of Indian Education System, and suddenly the system decided I was good enough and I was popular for Math. I never realised then, but probably someone lacked the confidence for Math and facing the judgement for being weak in it. Who knows he/she possessed the skill for art or sport? That is one lost soul to world. I am sorry, to someone who needed it and I didn’t help you push through.
Singapore was an eye opener for me, I don’t know if I was lucky, but I was surrounded by the best people. I also would like to attribute a small percentage to myself, who had started to give zero fucks about anything. I was never told how to dress up, by friends or society. I was never told when to go home or which place not to visit alone. I was never told what job is apt for a girl, by men or women. In retrospection, I have been a super mean to two girls in my life based on judgement. I ended up influencing others too, with urged force and have been influenced by others too. I let judgement get the better of me, and all I needed to do was confront, which I did. I apologized, I was truly sorry, it was a petty fight. Astonishingly, they didn’t hate me, and both of them forgot it in a go. Miles apart, we talk occasionally, and I feel really happy. Being a feminist, if I wear a coat to judge girls, it doesn’t serve the purpose, does it?
“Whatever floats your boat”, something very often uttered by my roommate, makes a lot of sense. Whenever I ask her for suggestion, she always has the same reply. Not once has she questioned my choices, or who I meet or where I go, or told me I am wrong. Need to know basis, she calls it. But you will find us chatting on a Friday night at 3 am. However, she does say I am crazy when I a buy a $200 toy robot. There is a very thin line between a good friend and a “friend indeed”.  
She also says, “evolution is extremely selfish”. Evolution is what brings a male to a female, and vice versa to carry on the lineage and genetics. The core union of male and female is to create life, which is not selfless in its entirety – “Aww you two will make amazing children”, being one of the top validating comments on a couple. When a woman chooses to love a woman, or man chooses to loves another man, there is no particular aim apart from companionship. Evolution can’t play a dominant role, a strong emotion is the only thing binding them, which is true love. Who are we to judge someone on their sexual or religious choices now, are we?
On my solo trip, I met many people, I was very curious about each of their lives, but did not prod any of them. I didn’t need to know; I might not even meet any of this people in the future. But I had one of the best times with different groups of people. I wasn’t asked about my job, relationship status, music taste, or anything at all. I was “Varsha from India”, that is all. I had left behind my loving parents and caring boyfriend, who were both very happy for me. That’s all that matters, isn’t it? Being happy, being yourself. And not give a fuck.
I have learned three things now – ignore, stay silent or confront. Ignore, if you have nothing to do with it. You can’t and shouldn’t have an opinion about your neighbour. How does it matter to you? Stay silent, if you know it won’t make things better or if it’s a lost cause. “More the world knows about you, the weaker you get”, live a private life. If you choose to share or have an opinion, it is always a risk unless you have zero fucks to give. Confront, when you can’t hold it in. You need to be absolutely sure you can bear the brunt of it. Push harder for your cause, make the world a better place. Confront when you don’t agree with how someone in front of you is treated. Again, a thin line between confront and assert. Asserting is done on judgement, and are you sure you are judging right?
Are you sure you are judging right?
Have you stood in the other person’s shoes?
Are you sure it is your right to have an opinion?
Are you being tolerant?
P.S. I shall already go ahead and apologise for any contradiction on this post for the less tolerant people out there.
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