#I angrily wrote this

[eeny-weeny-teeny-peeny]

Personal pet peeve but I hate it when they gender bend a werewolf they call her a “were woman”???

When you break down Werewolf, you get were that means Man and wolf. So to say “were woman” is incorrect because it’s to say “Man Woman”. Which slay your bigender highness but it peeves me.

The correct way to gender bend Werewolf is to call her a Wifwolf/Wyfwolf because Wif/Wyf is the archaic word for woman, the same way were/wer means Man.

[518062]

If there is no moral to the story, is it worth telling?

Abstract: Izuku Midoriya is a microcosm of Horikoshi's inconsistent writing in My Hero Academia. The absence of a narrative voice in later arcs proves a lack of cohesion and care when considering all plot points before and after. The manga contains heaps of evidence to support this theory. One must consider not just Midoriya, but other plot points such as incarceration and the handling of antagonists as well, although this discourse pertains only to Midoriya for the sake of conciseness. Much like public opinion, the discourse seen below posits Horikoshi's literary ability as My Hero Academia's greatest detriment––especially when it comes to Midoriya.

An Introduction

A gripe many have with Horikoshi’s writing is the lack of cohesion and completion. This issue leads to characteristic inconsistencies and poor gratification for audiences. 

Per Blumler and Katz (1973), active audiences search for escapism in what they consume. Readers/viewers do not want to follow a story and get to the end without significant development, especially if they have been following it for an extensive time in which they have grown accustomed to the story’s protagonists and reality.

Stories need morals, which is why we always ask why the chicken crossed the road––we already assume or know the how, especially in manga. The why is imperative because it is the core of a story. What motives do these characters possess? How do these motives affect their decisions? Why do they possess these motives? What message is the producer sending through such motives and decisions? The why and how appear interchangeably, but the why is the core of the story because it helps audiences connect with the story.

Who is Midoriya? What defines him?

Midoriya admires All Might for his kindness, resilience, and heroism. Therefore, Midoriya aspires to be just like All Might. Izuku has his why, but his how is the obstacle; his arc, since he has no Quirk and, at that moment in time, one needed a Quirk to even consider heroism as a career. As readers, this is good––we understand Izuku’s motives and want to root for him. We then understand why he works so hard, pushing his body to the limit, gaining multiple scars and having multiple notebooks in which he analyses every Quirk around him.

The how then solves itself rather easily. All Might transfers One For All (OFA) to Midoriya and now he can work towards heroism. Then a new how emerges, or a new goal––taking down All For One (AFO). From this point, Midoriya’s ideology is unwavering. But during the Paranormal Liberation War Arc, Midoriya faces a pragmatism his idealistic self had not yet considered. 

Lady Nagant says it best; “History will just repeat itself.” Midoriya responds to her with what could be considered his first judicious thought: “It’s not all black and white. Most things in this world are in shades of grey. A blend of fear and anger.”

Despite his acknowledgement of society’s flaws, he keeps his motives intact. He wants to “extend a helping hand,” to which Lady Nagant responds; “That phony education’s done wonders for you.” Again, he convinces her to fight the ‘good fight.’ He still possesses hope during such tumultuous conditions.

Midoriya’s resilience mirrors that of All Might and even surpasses him. As our young, fiery, hard-working MC, Midoriya inspires other characters and readers as well.

Then it falls apart. The why and how cease to reflect one another as time passes. The idea of a tainted society is explored throughout Midoriya’s Dark Hero arc and is pushed aside for the inevitable climax––the Final War. When Aoyama confesses the truth, Midoriya bursts into tears. He cannot possibly fathom that someone would support such evil. But with his new nuanced brain, he comprehends the difficulties Aoyama faced––the poor boy had no choice. With this newfound consciousness and pre-existing empathy, Midoriya grows into a character who understands the grey area he mentioned to Nagant. 

This is where many notice the significant decrease in Midoriya’s narration. His inner voice, which has led audiences for approx. 330 chapters, is lost. As the Final War begins, the relationship between character/consumer is broken. 

We do not know who Midoriya is. He cannot be defined.

Consider: when Midoriya saw a dead Bakugou, he could not control his heart (literally). Mirio acts as the narrator here––reminding Midoriya of his task––and he charges forward. For a character who is so deep in thought––so incredibly verbose––Midoriya has no thoughts. Not a single word tells the readers his explicit feelings. One could argue this example is useless, since the lack of speech is the message that Midoriya is feeling a “blend of fear and anger,” but the idea persists. Besides this moment, Midoriya’s actions, his motives and emotions, are no longer described or conveyed in an explicit fashion.

Objectively, producers should consider the implicit just as much as the explicit. Audiences feel rewarded when they identify key plot points through foreshadowing. Readers like to dissect meanings through script and art. But there must always be a balance, and once the explicit is lost, the implicit becomes redundant. This is because the explicit sets the foundation for the implicit.

To summarise, Midoriya’s lack of a potent voice (and the lack of transparency) leads to inconsistencies and confusion. Most of all, it leads to alienation. This must be prefaced: Horikoshi does not need to spell out every single thing he wishes to convey. Yet Midoriya had been doing this for 300 chapters, and suddenly it dissipated. Slowly, albeit, but the evidence presents itself. Readers, especially those who have tuned in every week to see where the war is going for this extremely troubled but powerful teenager, the only one who can defeat the antagonist, want to see how this teenager is feeling. Is he angry? Afraid? The loss of internal voice has catalysed a series of disappointments. Now we cannot determine how the MC feels. As a result, we no longer understand him or his motives. 

Consider: when Midoriya loses his arms, one can infer the inevitable shock, yet this shock is not expressed at all. Aizawa emerges from wherever he came and simply asks Midoriya how long it’s been since he lost his limbs. Midoriya answers him (“dunno”), still. Midoriya does not need to voice his thoughts anymore––especially since Eri swoops in to save his arms and continue the fight (which, without a five-year-old, means the entire story would be over. That is for another time.) Consequently, Midoriya stands up and keeps fighting. There is not one small text box dedicated to his contemplation. Rather, he fixates on how his plan to reach Tenko’s core failed, but his gory arms? Not a problem, it seems, since Eri exists.

The question arises––what would be of Midoriya and this world without Eri? Would Midoriya lie there, rigid, or would he merely fight with his legs? One can only guess. Yet this (and again, the lack of introspection) implores readers to grow agitated.

Of course, Midoriya does his best and kills AFO/Tenko. Before this, he calls AFO a “lonely man”. The inconsistencies are frustrating––how does Midoriya sympathise but refuse to elaborate on this after AFO is permanently gone? Does Midoriya (or Horikoshi) think it’s plausible to move on because it’s done and dusted? The most traumatic day of his life? Because Midoriya soars, sends the gust of wind, fist in air, and then it’s over.

The arc is over.

We jump straight ahead to rescue efforts; the teenagers recovering in hospital, Midoriya’s loss of OFA, imploring readers to ask whether there exists a moral at all. Can one become a hero without a Quirk? Of course not. That’s why Horikoshi needed to introduce the suit. Otherwise, all 400 chapters of this manga are pointless. 

The audience never gets a glimpse into the years where Midoriya lives Quirkless again. Even when he loses the embers, we do not receive explicit or implicit messaging. The why is still gone. Did Midoriya cry? Did he keep going? The understanding is Midoriya kept fighting, kept staying positive, but who says? The manga doesn’t. 

Then the why comes back into the picture with a new how––a new equilibrium––but readers are left unsatisfied. The producer fails to provide the escapism people have been seeking for ten years. Because yes, Midoriya can be a hero––he has his suit after all—and his motives are intact. He still adores Yagi. He’s still verbose and awkward and resilient. 

It is funny; approx. 100 chapters prior, Lady Nagant said; “History will just repeat itself.” And she is correct. We do not get to see why Midoriya continues as a hero, even though he knows the crime rate has lowered and the system needs a huge transformation (which, if it were not for the lazy time skip, we perhaps would have seen besides an inept Quirk counsel.)

Midoriya is a shallow protagonist. Above all, he is an empty shell and not worth believing in. His motives are all over the place or completely invisible. His flaws are erased once he can become a hero again––his critical thinking skills are dropped. He ends the manga the same way he began (cognitively, so anyone reading this, it is advised you consider the narration and not the legitimate ending), which is fighting for the moral good and kindness and whatnot. 

As readers, the issue at hand is perilous and comical. This story, throughout all its highs and lows––complex societal commentary to stupid analogies––is far from reality. Neither is it tangible in its own reality. It is not satisfying, educational, exciting, or beneficial for anyone. With this conclusion, nobody wins but those who yell huzzah for novice writing. One could posit that MHA could be erased from existence and no one would move an inch.

The most frustrating aspect? Horikoshi executed fantastic arcs for other characters. Todoroki had a tangibly terrific arc and his motives––again, his why––have changed because he has been challenged. This is an improvement. Even Bakugou, whose arc is often controversial, displays immense growth and maturity. From these characters audiences learn lessons and, if the message does not resonate, at least it could entertain––the gratification and escapism is achieved. Bakugou is hugely popular for this reason (beyond others; consider context again please.)

The conclusion?

History repeats itself, anyway. Good for you, Midoriya and co. 

[ralfstrashcan]

It's not like Viktor forgot – the night of their Grand Prix Finale Banquet wasn't exactly forgettable. But it isn't until he's watching Yuuri skating his free program that he feels like he truly remembers. [A scattering of Viktor's thoughts that lead to him traveling to Japan to become Yuuri's coach.]

Wordcount: ~ 700 words Rating: Teen Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Viktor Nikiforov Characters: Viktor Nikiforov Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Episode 1: Easy as Pirozhki!! The Grand Prix Final of Tears, Introspection, Stream of Consciousness, Developing Feelings, Viktor is low-key crushing on Yuuri

Even though the fic itself is set during episode 1 it builds on the flashback shown in episode 10, so please (mentally or physically haha) revisit the camera roll that was shown at the end of that episode, especially these two shots

[sadbl0b]

I still like Luke from PJO; I don’t think he’s a villain. Imagine you spend your childhood not knowing who your dad is and being left with a crazy woman who’s also your mother and can’t even recognize you, not to mention the psychotic episodes. Then you decide to run away with a GOLF CLUB for defense and find 2 other lonely kids on the street that you practically adopt and THEN you finally make it to a spot you were suppposed to be safe at only to be ambushed my a monster that kills your best friend who gets turned into a tree. Then you get shoved into a cabin with 50 other kids and never get sent on a quest even though you’ve been there the longest and was a permanent member and newbies are getting sent out despite your experience. And THEN your dead beat father finally sends you on a quest only for you to gain a scar across your eye and to almost die and then come back to camp realizing you still have to sleep in the same place with 50 other random kids. Bro that be traumatizing enough for anyone. Not to mention he’s only 19 and was 14 when he adopted two other kids. Bro just felt angsty for a second and then some dude comes along like “I’ll make everything better, I swear. I’m powerful enough”. ANYONE would take that offer. Then, his is (practically) little sister betrays him and the “good guy” from earlier ends up controlling his mind and possessing his body, making him betray everyone he’s ever loved.

[animunee-ee]

If you had to give Meliodas & Zeldris, Mael &Ludociel. Goddess Elizabeth and the other characters without a last name a last name. What would it be?

[maniacalmole]

Crowley, a few decades after having been dragged back to Hell for doing a nice thing, carefully setting up a meeting in a crowded park and discreetly writing down what he needs on paper so that he can pass it to his forbidden friend without even looking at him, because after all, walls (and ducks) have ears:

Aziraphale: *Florence Welch voice* HOLY WATER!!?!?!??!

[un-pearable]

see, part of why this is living in my head so bad is that the fear of being an absent parent is very much a concern for a large number of real archaeologists. there is SUCH a worry in archaeology of how to balance career and family - but that’s not unique to archaeology? it’s equally a problem in the medical field or, say, international journalism, but you don’t have “can i be a paleontologist and have a family?” autopopulating on google. how much of this concern is tied to it’s omnipresence in media? how much of it’s media presence is based on true experience at some point in time? is this all to blame on some rich antiquarian’s kid’s beef with his dad????? i want to know!!

[writingsbychlo]

WITHDRAWAL | theodore nott

summary; theo decides to quit smoking, but doesn't realise that his decision would affect his girlfriend, too.

word count; 3007

notes; just a cute, fluffy little piece based on something that I was tagged in about 2 months ago! unfortunately, I cannot find the original post or tagger, but if it's you, please let me know!!

If there was one thing about Theodore Nott that couldn't be denied, it was that he loved with everything he had. 

He loved his friends; he was loyal to a fault and he’d never let them down. He loved his family, he wrote over fifteen letters a week to all his aunties and cousins, and still held onto his mother’s recipe book, even to this day. 

And he loved, adored, his girlfriend with everything that he had. He’d do anything for her, crawl across hot coals if she asked, give up his magic and his money and his legacy, just to make her happy. She’d never asked as such of him, still blushed when he pulled out his wallet when they shopped and smiled brighter than the sun when he gave her a handmade card or something he’d cooked. So, to his eyes, it didn’t seem all that much when he decided to give up smoking for her. 

She hadn't asked him to, never even pulled a face when he smoked. But Theo was damn sick of trying to blow the smoke away from her when she joined him at the astronomy tower, cuddled up to his chest, because he didn’t want that poison near her. He hated watching her shiver on the colder nights, he hated waking her in the middle of the night when he got up to satiate that itch, and he hated thinking of a future where he left her too soon, running short on time, because he ruined himself.

He chucked his last box into the fireplace one impulsive morning, and thought he might go cold turkey. He’d been so moody by lunchtime that he’d almost bitten Enzo’s head off over the way he pronounced ‘tomato’. That afternoon, he’d ditched his classes and trudged through the snow to the floo connection at the Hog’s Head, and picked up enough nicotine patches from a muggle supply store to knock out a fully grown Hippogriff.

He’d torn the packaging off of one in the grimy restroom at the back of the store and slapped it onto his bicep, and almost collapsed from the relief it gave him. It wasn’t nearly as effective as picking up a packet from the newsagent’s stand he’d passed would’ve been, but as soon as his fingers had twitched to pick up a box, your face had flashed through his mind. Your face, smiling at him, your face that morning telling him how proud you were of him when he’d shared his goals in hopes of support, and it was enough to deter him from the purchase.

You were his strength, once again, as you’d always been. 

And truly, you were so proud of Theo. Changing his patches for him every evening, in time with that first one. Reading up on the muggle solutions, and making sure you were fully versed on how to help him. Keeping him busy seemed to help, when he got bored, his eyes started flicking towards the door, and the slight irritability he’d been able to keep a lid on pretty well would begin to flare up. For the most part, he’d been staying at your dorm, in an active attempt to keep away from Mattheo, who wasn’t quite ready to give up his comfortable vice just yet. 

Unfortunately, as the days went on, while Theo seemed to be handling it just fine, you were struggling. The irritability grew, even Draco’s breathing was making you want to snap pencils in half in the library, or throw Enzo off the astronomy tower if he scraped his fork on his plate one more time. You were ravenous, and nauseous, all at the same time. You wanted to eat everything but could hardly hold it down. You were dizzy, and fatigued, and your grades were going to start slipping if this continued, because it had been almost a week since you’d been able to concentrate on any thought longer than a minute, never mind a whole class. 

And now, you were lying in bed, rubbing at your eyes angrily but unable to sleep as you stared at the ceiling. Theo, for once, was sleeping soundly beside you. Since giving up smoking, his sleep patterns had been getting better, while yours were getting worse by the night. Almost a week, and you’d barely gotten nine hours of sleep put together. 

When you shuffled again, pressing yourself a little closer to Theo as you rolled onto your side, he began to surface. The arm over your midriff tightened, pulling you in until your hips were bracketed against his, and he chuckled sleepily into your neck. Burying himself in, he pressed a kiss there, and another, and another. The rough pounding of your heart settled as you clasped Theo’s hand in your own, holding them to your chest as he littered your shoulder with kisses. 

At your sigh, he rolled you over, propping himself up on his elbow and yawning. Shaking his hand free from your own, he stroked the back of a finger along your cheek, and leaned down to press a kiss to your lips. As his hand settled on the side of your neck instead, yours slipped up to cup his jaw, and you melted into the tender love he offered you in the darkest hours. 

“What’s wrong, tesoro? Why are you awake?”

“Why are you awake?” you rebuffed, fingers lifting to comb through his hair, to push it back out of his eyes as he blinked himself a little more awake.

He shrugged, “This is about the time I’d normally go for a smoke.” He murmured, and your eyes flickered to the clock. 

You knew well enough the schedule Theo used to keep while smoking. Your timetable had slowly synched to it over the time you’d been dating. He’d wake up during the night, at some point around two, and disappear for a smoke. He’d take twenty minutes, or thirty if he bumped into Mattheo, and then he’d come back to bed. 

You didn’t mind the disturbance. Not when he’d come back slightly chilled from the night air and snuggle in close to you, wrapping himself around you.

“Actually, this is the time you’d normally come back from having a smoke, and give me my midnight kisses.”

“Is that why my girl is so restless tonight? Because I owe her some kisses?” He teased, leaning down until your noses were bumping, and you could taste the mint on his breath. Normally, he tasted like smoke, not toothpaste, and the shock of his warm lips instead of cold ones made you hum. 

The languid kisses melted the time away, his hand sliding up your shirt, sitting on your ribs and squeezing softly as he lowered himself down, covering your body with his own. Theo had always been your comfort, and your happy place. Being in his arms made you feel safe, and his kisses made you feel relaxed. As he licked his way into your mouth lazily, you anticipated the hazy blur of relaxation that usually followed when he kissed you. 

But, like usual recently, it never came. Instead, when he finally pulled back, and pecked the tip of your nose, he found you frowning, instead of smiling up at him. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” You huffed, frustrated at yourself, at your confusion and the growing irrational irritation. “It’s not the same.”

“What’s not the same, bella?”

“Your… your kisses.” Your words trailed to a whisper, knowing he wouldn't understand, and the hurt that flickered across his face made your heartbreak. 

“They’re not?”

“No. I don’t know why.” His lips curled further at the sides, and the look on his face made you want to cry. It made you hate yourself, aggressively, and if you could tear out your own heart and give it to him just to see him smile again, you would. Just another thing you’d been suffering with lately, an overwhelm of your emotions, worse than any mood swing you got when you were on your period. “It’s not you, Teddy, it’s me. You’re still my happy place, you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s me. I’m the problem.”

“You’re not a problem, bella. But we should figure it out. I don’t want to… kiss you wrong, and see that look on your face. What’s different, tell me what’s changed?” His sweet words made tears prickle at your eyes, and you sniffed sadly as you looked at him. 

“I love you so much, Theo.”

“I know, tesoro. I love you too.” His thumb smoothed over your cheek, “Tell me.”

“I don’t know!” Your snap made his eyes widen. “You’re just… different. You don’t kiss the same way, you used to get all needy when you came back from a smoke, but you don’t anymore, and you taste different! You taste like mint right now, and it just doesn’t make me feel the same way afterwards.”

Your words were jumbled and hurried, rushed out as you smoked them and his brows furrowed as he tried to decipher what you meant. Second ticked by into silent minutes as Theo’s wonderful mind ticked and whirred, thinking the problem through, and playing with the information. Then, before you could say anything else, something clicked. You could see it in his eyes, when the gears stopped turning and the thoughts stopped flowing because he’d found the answer. 

Pulling away from you, he sat up, kicking back the covers and letting in the cold air, before moving across the room and shuffling through his gym kit left in the corner. Pulling out a nicotine packet from the box inside, he shook it out, using his teeth to tear open the packet as he made his way back to the bed. Sitting yourself up, you propped yourself in the pillows as he peeled off the plastic backing, and tried to unstick his fingers from it, holding it by the corners. 

“You’ve only had your patch on for nine hours, Teddy, it’s not time to change yet.”

He clicked his tongue, shaking his head and settling in beside you on the bed, legs folded underneath himself. “This isn’t for me, bella. Take off your shirt.” 

Slipping your arm out of your shirt, you pushed it to the side, watching as Theo brushed cotton fibres off of your shoulder, before sealing the patch onto your skin. He made sure it was properly sealed down, flattening it to your skin, before feeding your arm back through the sleeve of your shirt. He smoothed the top back down your torso, pressing a cheeky kiss to your breast over your heart as he did, and sitting back on his legs to wait. 

“Give it a second, then tell me how you feel.” He whispered, the moment feeling entirely too fragile as his hand took yours, fingers linked together. He kissed along your knuckles, his eyes locked on your face, waiting. And the moment you felt it hit, you knew he saw it too. 

It was like a cool, soothing balm over a raw, aggravated wound. It felt like running cold water on a new burn or healing a painful graze with a quick Episky. “Oh, Merlin…”

“I know, tell me about it.” He mumbled, the smile on his face at victoriously solving the problem melting away as realisation set in. “Cazzo, bella, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You have a nicotine addiction, and it’s my fault. All that time you spent with me at the tower, and the smoke on me, and kissing you as soon as I finished smoking. All your moodiness these last few days—”

“Hey!”

“It’s true, baby. It all makes sense.” He rubbed a hand over his face, and squeezed your hand tighter in the other. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I quit because I didn’t want this to happen to you, I didn’t want my problems to poison you, but it’s too late.”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss me, Teddy.” You demand again, pulling him in, and his mouth collides with yours as he makes a subtle groan of surprise and pleasure. 

His hand gripped the headboard behind you, the other skimming down your side. As you leaned back into the pillows, you took him with you, his body falling over your own, slotting between your thighs as our hearts thudded together where his chest pressed to yours. Your hands slid over his shoulders, skimming down his back, and he moaned again as your fingernails scraped across his lower back as you tugged at his shirt. 

He sat up, letting you pull it off of him, before his arms were back, caging you in on either side as he fell back down against you. Pulling one of your legs up to sit on his hip, he dragged himself away from your mouth, trailing wet kisses down your jaw, to the pulse point on your neck and back up. 

“Merde, bella. What’s gotten into you? Not that I’m complaining.”

“You’re perfect, Theo.” You smiled, leaning up to steal more kisses from his lips that he was happy to reciprocate, “You’re perfect, your kisses are perfect. I knew it was me, not you. I was the problem.”

“A problem I gave you,” He groaned, his hips rolling against your own as you giggled breathlessly. 

“Yeah, whatever. Now we’re quitting together. That’s the promise we made, we do everything together, right?”

“Damn right, tesoro.” He growled, teeth nipping at the underside of your jaw, as he began to make his way down your body. Your fingers were loose in his hair, settling back in the pillows, eyes slipping closed as he kissed along the insides of your thighs, teasingly. Finally, your body could relax, no longer tense and buzzing, but the foggy comfort of the night made your muscles ease into the bed, your body feeling heavy, and you sighed in bliss. 

Theo mumbled something, and you let your legs fall a little further apart, but your grip on consciousness was falling further and further away as the nicotine coursed through your body, finally letting you ease into sleep you’d missed for days.

“Bella,” Theo said, his voice sharper, and you stirred, working hard to force your eyes open, but they’d only made it halfway. His hair was ruffled, eyes wide and lips swollen, but his smirk melted away from his face into a tender smile as he looked down at you. 

“Sorry, what’d you say, baby?” The words slurred out of you, and he chuckled. His fingers unhooked from the sides of your shorts, and he leaned over to kiss your forehead. “M’sorry, I’m so sleepy all of a sudden.”

“S’okay, bella. Never apologise. C’mere, let’s just cuddle.”

Tucking your body into his, you shuffled your hips back into him, and he threw his leg over yours as he held you tight to his body. “You’re hard.”

“It’ll go down, don’t worry.” He snickered, kissing the back of your head. “S’your fault anyway.”

“Sorry…” You whispered, again, sleepily. “I’ll make it up t’you t’morrow.”

“Go to sleep, amore.”

But you’d already drifted off.

It was just as you were closing your History of Magic book, that Theo announced his presence in the common room as he walked in alongside Mattheo. They were loud, and raucous, and thankfully, you were less inclined to bite their heads off for it today. 

In fact, alongside Enzo, you’d been able to catch up on all of the History homework you’d been missing out on for the last week or so, getting you back on track for at least one of your subjects. 

“Patch change time, bella!” Theo announced, making his way over to you as he untucked his shirt and began to undo the buttons down the front. Tugging the tie out of the way, he crashed down ungracefully onto the couch beside you, Mattheo nudging Draco to move up so he could sit down too. 

This had become a regular part of your routine now, and you pushed the edges of his half-unbuttoned shirt aside to reveal the patch sitting on the middle of his left pectoral. Picking at one corner, you peeled it away gently, careful not to tug on his skin as you did, and Theo watched on adoringly in silence as you took care of him. Unwrapping a new patch, you brushed off the spot, before sticking a new patch onto him and smoothing down the bandage. 

He patted it himself, before doing a couple of the buttons on his shirt back up for modesty, as though he hadn't already given half of the common room a show, before he leaned in to peck your lips. His fingers fell to the buttons of your shirt, and he began to undo them slowly. “Your turn.”

He undid just enough to reveal your shoulder, without letting anyone else catch a glimpse of anything underneath, and as he leaned down to begin peeling away the old patch, you caught Enzo’s confused expression. 

“Why are you wearing a patch?” He asked, and Theo laughed to himself quietly as he changed your old one out. 

“Because loverboy here got me addicted too, through kisses and secondary smoke.”

The others burst out laughing, unfettered by your glaring as they made kissy sounds and crude remarks, while Theo buttoned your shirt back up. Your glare turned to him as you caught sight of his smile, and he shrugged, a lopsided smile on his lips. “What can I say, bella? I’m just that good.”

“Oh, shut it,” You smacked his chest, and he took your hand, tugging you forward to cuddle you into his chest as he kissed your temple. 

“I happen to think it’s adorable that as a by-product of how you got addicted, that means you were addicted to me.”

“Mhmm.” Your eyes rolled, and he squeezed you even tighter. 

“You had me addicted to you without any substances at all, bella. Just you.”

“Alright,” You scoff, “Stop sweet-talking me.”

“Never.”

[elodieunderglass]

This has put me in such a pickle and I’ll probably have to ask you guys for advice about it, but the “weasel heart” story compels me terribly. I love the broad strokes: the idea of feral hobbits going slowly extinct in a world with no room for them, and having a particularly awkward and difficult guy being put in the position of Protagonist about it, but he is unfortunately impossible to pin down - let alone put him to any plot-relevant work. He is eating a ham sandwich in the foreground, while a landslide wipes out an entire mountain behind him.

The problem is that at that point you may as well just call it original fiction and disconnect it from canon, like, not even in the “file off the serial numbers and try to sell it” sense, but just “it’s kind of a stretch of everyone else’s patience to pretend this is at all relevant to canon” sense.

Which would possibly make a better story but then what are you DOING like what are your intentions are you actually going to do anything with it or share it with anybody? Or are you just going “ha! Funny” and wandering off

in his delicious materials, do you have any thoughts about what chilchuck's daughters' daemons/bee's sons are like? Is puckpatti's even settled yet?

(In reference to His Delicious Materials: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56658973/chapters/144024799)

Bee’s boys - Sangwine, Pantoufle and Eglantine - gave her an absolute run for her money to raise, although given how much they worked away from home in the early years, she left most of the logistics to her wife, a mouse daemon. As a result she and Chilchuck would come home to “do some parenting while you’re here, why don’t you” and incredibly tricky and complex grievances and disciplinary problems, lots of “Bee will hear about this when she’s home!” Which didn’t set her up for much success, in retrospect.

Bee was an impatient and often angry young parent, but tried her best, made an effort to educate herself, and was exceedingly good at carrying her sons around by the scruffs of their necks, which was good - since they all all liked being absolutely unsuitable and enormous things, like ferrets, for a lot of the time in their wild youth. She wasn’t always the bad cop, but they all had very few models of Effective Parenting growing up, so she wasn’t as good then as she would be at it now.

Pantoufle’s the only one who is likely to give Bee grandchildren in her lifetime, but he’s also a little nightmare, so she doesn’t have much hope. Pan isn’t so good at the daemon’s role of “externalising the human’s voice of conscience.” He is, instead, evidence that their middle child has no conscience whatsoever. He has zero moral fiber and criminal instincts.

They are all long, long since settled.

I have no idea what forms they are, though. Literally was not planning on it ever being relevant. I am doing a 65k commission gift fic over the summer and MOVING ON, I said.

Then ended up having a conversation in the comments where it was like . Oh no. The political implications of being the only weasel daemon in your village. that could be genuinely rather funny. Oh no. What if there was a social landslide as a result of Bee settling, with large political implications swirling around, and it’s genuinely Just Some Awkward Scruffy Tall Guy And His Weasel Soul Who Are Pretty Oblivious To It All, and you turn around and suddenly your people’s daemon pool is completely changed in a generation??? Hilarious. Self-indulgent. Nothing to do with any given canon whatsoever, literally just playing in a sandbox. Someone should write that.

And then the baby didn’t sleep for a few nights in a row (oh no):

[jaysbaefie]

backseat | pjs

synopsis: in which your older brothers best friend finally stops teasing you and shows you just how much he wants you.

genre: brothers best friend to lovers

paring: older brothers best friend!jay x afab reader

warnings: teasing, softdom!jay, sort of bratty!reader, fingering, spitting, cum eating? licking?, usage of petname ‘princess’, jungwon watches (kind of), pretty tame… for the first time we have more plot than porn wowza !

wc: 6.2k

a/n: it’s been a minute, but i’m semi back! school is still on my ass but i’ve been procrastinating and wrote this. don’t worry you’ll be getting the rich day jay fic once school is over, im working on it slowly! just thought that id feed yall with this lol. this proves i can write plot and not filth, please guys im a good writer i swear… thank you for 700+ followers! okay now enjoy <33

. . . . . ◟੭

"where is he?" you groan.

all your friends had left and now you were sitting on the side of the road like a hobo with all your bags sprawled around you. you felt as if you were going to pass out from a heat stroke, the sun burning so hot that the pavement was beginning to fry your butt.

you had volunteered at a summer camp for underprivileged children this year, thinking that it would look good on your resume and record. i mean, what else did you have going on for you in the summer besides bed rotting.

originally, your parents were supposed to make the 3 hour drive up to pick you up. however, your mom texted you this morning that sunghoon, your older brother, would be picking you up instead.

you mentally prepared yourself for him to be late, but this late? all time low, even for him.

you leaned against the steel pole as support for your aching back only to flinch when the hot metal burned you through your flimsy t-shirt.

you had gotten tanned this summer, but with the way the sun was shooting rays right at you, you were positive you were going to burn.

after what seems like ages, a car honk snaps you out of your daze. a shiny blue honda civic pulls up in front of you, the tinted windows rolling down to reveal none other than satan himself—sunghoon.

"get in loser, it's hot," he says lifting his shades up for a second before letting them drop back down.

cunt.

you groan, the heat making you dizzy as you pick up your bags—ready to bitch him out for being so late. as you get near the car you notice another figure in the passenger seat, your seat.

"hi, __!" jungwon smiles, his voice cheery as he waves at you.

great, you can't bitch your brother out.

"hi wonnie," you reply half heartedly, motioning to open the trunk so you could put your belongings in the back. jungwon didn't deserve to witness you go crazy bitch on your brother.

"are you not going to be a good big brother and help your sister with her bags," you hiss, raising your brows as you stair at sunghoon with a mocking expression.

sunghoon fake laughs before his expression drops to dead serious, "don't be difficult, chop chop get to it."

you roll your eyes. huffing as you grab you bags and shuffle to the back of the car. after lugging your bags into the trunk, you slam it down extra hard to piss sunghoon off. "hey! be careful with that you little shit," you heard him mutter. you flip him off, making sure he could see you before yanking the back door of the car open.

you angrily sit in, shutting the door with more strength than you needed causing the car to shake slightly at the impact.

"relax, __," you heard right next to you. a small scream leaves your mouth, clutching your chest when you see jay in the back seat with you.

he gives you a smirk, his sharp eyes pinning you down before they give you a once over— causing a shiver to run up your spine.

"what the fuck?!"

"stop screaming so much, __. it's just jay," sunghoon rolls his eyes before he shifts gears and begins to drive.

bitch.

"is this why you were late? had to pick up your little friends?" you sneer as you buckle yourself in, making sure to leave the middle seat empty so there was space between you and jay. you give jungwon a small smile that said 'this isn't directed towards you.'

"yeah, i did actually. i can't be stuck in a car with you for 3 long hours," he sneers right back, you could practically see him roll his eyes even though you were glaring down the back of his seat. "jungwon was already over and i asked jay to come for the vibes," he adds on, the car skidding a bit when sunghoon takes to sharp of a turn.

your head hits the window as the car recovers from sunghoons bad driving, the pain you felt almost distracted you from jays palm which seemed to have found itself on your thigh. you guessed that it had landed there when sunghoon took the turn. you stare down at his large veiny hand, the way it gripped your plush thighs fully and how you wished it was around your neck and not leg.

your head snaps up to look at jay who looks almost, smug? you swallow harshly, your leg twitching as he squeezes your thigh softly before slowly removing his hand—his hand lingering.

"sorry," he grins, not looking the least bit apologetic. his smile made your heart pound erratically in your chest, not being able to look away from him.

you give him a stiff nod before turning your head to stare out the window mindlessly, not trusting yourself to talk.

you had always had a small crush on jay, well, maybe not small. it was quite big, and your brother knew about it and he was ruthless with teasing.

you still remember the day when sunghoon had noticed your behaviour towards jay. you were always eager to please him, if he needed help in any way you'd b the first to offer. you never did that for any of sunghoons friends and sunghoon had caught on.

"i see you still have a little crush on jay," he snickered, sliding next to you as you leaned against the kitchen counter—fiddling with your phone.

you tense up, "n-no? pfft, be for real," you to tried brush off but you had failed miserably.

sunghoon grins, "i know that look, that's the same look you had when you crushed on that creepy kid in elementary. oh my god, i still can't believe you had a crush on creepy youngjae. that guy used to pick and flick his boogers in the tube slide, __!" he exclaimed in disbelief, crossing his arms as he stares up in shock—completely forgetting about the issue at hand.

"you're tweaking," you dismiss with a hand, hoping that he forgets about the situation as a whole—but you aren't that lucky.

he would go to great lengths to tease you about your 'small' crush, especially in front of jay himself. sunghoon made sure that you would always end up sitting next to jay, sitting accordingly so you had no other option.

he got the rest of the group in on it, everyone collectively making sure that you and jay were stuck together whenever you happened to be around them.

every time you were out with him in a group setting, sunghoon made sure you and jay end up next to each other.

movie nights? you're squeezed onto the same couch. dinner? your sitting beside jay. traveling in the same car? you're always in the backseat together.

"oops, looks like there's no other seat," jake grins as he 'innocently' slides into the only available chair, leaving the one next to jay wide open.

jay acts unbothered, but the smirk he would shoot to jake said otherwise. it didn't quite make sense to you why he went along with his friends antics, was this some sort of sick joke to him?

every time jay posted a picture of himself on social media, the group relentlessly tagged you in the comments.

"@__ look away." "@__ don't simp too hard." "@__ jay told us he posted this for you."

and when you post something...

"@ jayparked she's literally serving, say something." "jay's typing..." "jay, blink twice if you're sweating."

jay just sends a single fire emoji under your post and the whole group loses their mind, including you.

it got so bad that you took it upon yourself to sneak out of the house whenever jay was around, trying your best to avoid him. you couldn't stand the relentless teasing, it confused you to no end.

however, today you were stuck with him in the back of your brothers car, for a whole 3 hours.

fuck you, sunghoon.

you know he did this on purpose, he didn't have to invite jay, and he surely didn't need to have him sit in the back. sunghoon knew what he was doing and his smug looks that he was passing you through the cars mirror was proving it.

you're not sure why sunghoon was so adamant on teasing you about jay, shouldn't he want to make sure that you and jay stay as far away from each other as possible?

your his baby sister for fucks sake, his best friend should be off limits.

your head rested against the cool glass of the window, spacing out occasionally as you listen to your brother and his friends talk about random shit.

"you're quiet, that's unusual," a voice whispers into your ear. you flinch, turning your head to see jay's face only centimetres away from your own. "w-what," you respond back hazily, mind not working due to the close proximity.

jay smirks, leaning back slightly as his gaze drops down to your lips and then back to your eyes, "i said, you're unusually quiet. i thought you'd bitch out your brother by now. but no, you've just been staring off into who knows where."

you couldn't help but scoff, the noise causing jay's smirk to widen, "i would've if jungwon wasn't in the car, he doesn't deserve to hear the insults i had planned for sunghoon."

jay's brows furrow in almost offended manner, "but i do?" he lets out a small laugh. you shrug your shoulders, "yeah."

his smirk drops and his expression turns serious, "be careful now, __. i'm starting to think you don't like me, but we both know that's not true."

your eyes widen, staring at jay in shock of his words. "w-what?" you ask stupidly.

jay shrugs, "you know exactly what i meant," he hums before he's leaning away, returning to his original position.

your heart stutters in your chest as you look at the boy in shock. you knew you were obvious but not obvious enough to the point where he was confident enough to mention it to you, and why now out of all times?

had sunghoon finally told jay about your little crush on him? he wouldn't. would he?

you catch sunghoon's eyes in the rear view mirror, shooting him a glare before flipping him off. he scoffs in response, muttering something about you being an ungrateful brat.

"tch, that wasn't nice, __," you shiver when you feel jay's cool breath fan against the shell of your ear. you keep your eyes glued to the back of your brother seat, to afraid to look over in jay's direction.

your grip tightens around your seatbelt as jay leans in just slightly, his voice dropping to a taunting murmur.

"what's wrong? cat got your tongue?"

you refuse to turn your head, knowing full well that if you did, you'd be face-to-face with that smug, devastatingly handsome smirk of his. your body betrays you, goosebumps prickling over your arms—your leg twitching under his gaze.

this isn't fair.

you spent years being teased by sunghoon and his idiot friends about your very mild (not really) crush on jay. you never expected jay to play along.

you rather him shut it down and brutally reject you than give you glimmers of hope that your crush on jay was mutual.

sunghoon's voice cuts through the tension. "jay, stop messing with my sister before she starts foaming at the mouth."

your head snaps toward your brother. "oh, fuck off, sunghoon."

jungwon lets out a nervous chuckle, clearly regretting being stuck in the middle of this situation. meanwhile, jay just grins. that slow, lazy grin that makes your stomach do a full goddamn somersault.

"aw, you don't like it when i tease you?" jay asks, voice dripping with amusement.

"i don't like you," you grumble, crossing your arms in defiance.

he hums, tapping his fingers against his thigh. "liar."

you whip your head toward him, scandalized. "excuse me?"

"you're excused."

sunghoon snorts. "damn, she walked right into that one."

you shoot your brother a glare through the rearview mirror again  before turning back to jay, your jaw clenched. "i don't know what the hell you're talking about."

jay tilts his head, pretending to think. "hmm. i don't know. maybe it's the way you keep looking at me like you're about to get on one knee and purpose to me," he teases.

your eyes widen. "i'm looking at you like i hate you."

"same thing," he shrugs.

"you're insane," you mutter, trying to shift away, only for jay to lean in again—his broad frame completely invading your space. his scent was clean and musky with a hint of something dangerous and forbidden.

your breath hitches when he lowers his voice just enough that only you can hear.

"i bet if your brother wasn't here," he murmurs, lips barely a breath away from your ear, "you wouldn't be so mouthy."

your body locks up. oh.

the worst part? you don't have a comeback. not one. your brain is short-circuiting, your face burning hotter than the summer sun outside.

jay leans back with a satisfied smirk, watching as you struggle to regain composure.

sunghoon glances in the mirror again, raising a suspicious brow. "why is my sister so quiet all of a sudden?"

"she's just thinking," jay answers smoothly. "maybe about what i just said."

your jaw drops.

sunghoon chokes on his spit, nearly swerving the car off the road. "what the fuck is going on back there?! what the fuck did you say to my baby sister?!"

sure, sunghoon teased you about jay. but he didn't actually want you guys to like each other.

jungwon, the only sane person in the car, sighs loudly. "can we please just make it home alive?" trying to calm down your brother.

you sink into your seat, heat crawling up your neck as jay gives you one last glance. his expression unreadable but his eyes dark, promising something dangerous.

fuck my life.

for the first hour of the drive, you do everything in your power to not acknowledge jay. you scroll through your phone, fiddle with your necklace, even pretend to be deeply interested in the passing scenery outside the window.

but it's impossible to ignore the way his long legs are stretched out beside you, the faint scent of his cologne filling the air, or the way his gaze keeps flickering toward you like he knows he's getting under your skin.

and the worst part?

sunghoon knows too.

"you're awfully quiet back there," your brother comments, smirking as he catches your flushed reflection in the rearview mirror. he had quickly gotten over the thought of you and jay actually being a thing, jay wouldn't do that to him? right? 

"usually, you'd be threatening to throw yourself out of the car by now." he snickers obnoxiously.

"maybe i still will," you mutter, shooting him a glare.

"yeah?" jay leans closer, voice low. "need a push?"

you whip your head toward him, narrowing your eyes. "i hate you."

"yeah?" he echoes, tilting his head with that infuriating smirk. "then why are you blushing?" his eyes raking down you face, watching your face turn a deep red.

your mouth opens—only to close when you realize you don't have a comeback.

sunghoon snickers, "damn, she's got nothing. this is a historic moment, note this down you guys."

you sink lower into your seat, crossing your arms tightly over your chest. "i hate you all."

jungwon sighs from the front. "can we go one car ride without you guys fighting?"

"wouldn't be fun," sunghoon says, shifting gears as he takes another reckless turn that nearly sends you into jay's lap.

your hands shoot out to steady yourself—one gripping the handle above the window, the other landing on jay's thigh.

shit.

you freeze.

so does he.

what was this back and fourth you two were doing to one another.

for a split second, neither of you move. your palm is flat against the firm muscle of his thigh, the warmth of his skin seeping through the fabric of his ripped jeans. you can feel how solid he is beneath your fingers, and when your gaze flickers up, jay is already staring at you.

smirking.

slowly, deliberately, he leans down. his voice is soft, but it carries enough weight to send a shiver down your spine.

"if you wanted to touch me," he murmurs, "you could've just asked, princess."

your body goes rigid.

with a yelp, you snatch your hand away like you've been burned, pressing yourself as far against the car door as possible.

sunghoon glances back in the mirror, brows furrowing. "the hell is wrong with you?"

"nothing!" you squeak, face burning.

jay chuckles, shaking his head as he stretches his arms behind his head. "nothing at all."

the drive continues, but now you're hyper-aware of everything. every small shift jay makes, the way his fingers lazily drum against his knee, the occasional glance he throws your way. he's enjoying this, teasing you—making you squirm.

and the worst part?

it's working.

you weren't sure why jay was going out of his way to tease you when he had never done so before. he'd go along with everyone else, but never initiate it.

at some point, sunghoon stops at a gas station to fill up the tank, dragging jungwon inside with him for snacks. you make a move to follow, desperate to put some distance between you and jay—but a firm grip on your wrist stops you.

you turn, heart stuttering when you see jay's fingers curled around your wrist, his thumb brushing lightly against your pulse.

"stay," he says simply.

you swallow. "why?"

his eyes flicker to your lips before meeting your gaze again. "because i want you to."

your breath catches. "you're insufferable."

jay smirks, tugging you closer until you're nearly pressed against him. "and yet," he muses, voice barely above a whisper, "you're still here."

you hate that he's right. you hate the way your pulse jumps at his words, the way your body instinctively leans in despite every alarm going off in your head telling you to move away.

but most of all, you hate the way jay is looking at you—like he knows exactly what he's doing to you.

"you're so full of yourself," you mutter, yanking your wrist from his grip, though it takes more effort than you'd like to admit.

jay chuckles, leaning back against the seat. "maybe. but i think you like it."

you huff, crossing your arms as you look away, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a response. but you can still feel his gaze burning into the side of your face, the smirk practically radiating off of him.

thankfully, the sound of the car doors opening saves you from further embarrassment. sunghoon and jungwon climb back in, the smell of gas station snacks filling the air as they settle into their seats.

"what did we miss?" sunghoon asks, tearing open a bag of chips.

fatass.

"nothing," you say quickly.

"nothing important," jay says at the same time, shooting you a look that makes your stomach twist.

sunghoon eyes the both of you through the mirror, a slow smirk tugging at his lips. "you guys are acting weird.."

"no, we're not," you deadpan.

"uh-huh." he pops a chip into his mouth, clearly unconvinced. "whatever you say, lil sis."

you roll your eyes and sink into your seat, hoping the rest of the ride passes quickly. unfortunately, your hopes are shattered not even fifteen minutes later when sunghoon starts up his favorite pastime: publicly humiliating you.

"hey, jay..." sunghoon starts, shooting you a teasing look through the mirror.

fuck you, sunghoon.

you knew what he was going to do.

jay hums in response, looking up from his phone.

"do you remember that one time, back in high school, when __ wrote you a love letter but chickened out and threw it away?"

your entire body goes stiff.

no, sunghoon. jay did not know that. thanks.

jay raises an eyebrow, turning to you with a slow grin. "oh?"

"sunghoon, i swear to god-" you try to interrupt only for jay to place his hand on your bare knee, his touch silencing you instantly.

sunghoon ignores you, grinning like a devil as he continues. "yeah, she spent like, an hour writing it. had your name written all fancy and everything. she even-"

you lunge forward, smacking your brother on the arm as hard as you could. "shut the fuck up!"

"ow, what the hell!" sunghoon yelps, swerving slightly before regaining control of the wheel. jungwon sighs from the passenger seat, already exhausted.

"i hate you," you seethe.

"oh, come on," sunghoon laughs, rubbing his arm. "it's cute. she was so whipped for you, dude."

jay looks amused, his eyes flickering to you as he rests his chin on his hand. "was?"

your breath hitches.

oh.

"don't." you point a warning finger at him.

jay leans in slightly, a knowing glint in his eyes. "so, what'd you write in the letter?"

"i don't remember," you lie through your teeth, turning your head away to look through the window.

"bullshit," sunghoon scoffs. "you practically memorized that thing."

you shoot him another glare, cheeks burning. "i hope you choke on your stupid chips."

jay chuckles, tilting his head at you. "if you don't remember, maybe you should rewrite it for me."

your jaw drops, "i'd rather die," you scoff.

jay smirks, clearly enjoying your flustered state. "your loss."

sunghoon whistles, shaking his head. "man, i should've done this years ago. this is gold. jungwon, man, why did we just start doing this recently."

jungwon rolls his eyes, muttering something along the lines of 'shit brother.'

you groan, dropping your head into your hands. this is going to be the longest car ride of your life.

the air in the car feels hotter than it should. you're blaming it on the summer heat, on sunghoon's shitty ac in his shitty ass car, on anything but the way jay is looking at you.

because he is looking at you.

his eyes flicker over to you every few seconds, dark and amused, the corner of his lips curled into the kind of smirk that makes your stomach twist and your thighs clench. he's enjoying this. he's enjoying you, watching you squirm under the weight of his gaze.

and you hate that it's working.

"what's the matter?" jay murmurs, voice low enough that only you can hear. "you've been quiet ever since sunghoon mentioned that letter."

you don't respond, gripping the hem of your shorts like their going to disappear. you refuse to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he's affecting you.

but then, as if reading your thoughts, he shifts closer.

his knee bumps against yours, and suddenly you're hyper-aware of how close he is, how his arm is stretched out behind you, fingers lightly brushing the seat just above your shoulder.

"you should've given it to me, you know," jay muses, voice dipping into something softer, something deeper.

you swallow, heart hammering. "why?"

jay tilts his head slightly, gaze flickering down to your lips before meeting your eyes again. "because maybe i would've liked it."

you feel the world stop around you. this was going to far, there was a limit to it.

the way he's looking at you is almost predatory, like he's just waiting for you to slip up, to give him a reason to push further.

"guys, i swear to god," sunghoon groans from the front seat, breaking the tension. "if you two are eye-fucking back there, i'm pulling over and leaving you both on the side of the road."

your face burns. "we're not-"

"-sure," sunghoon deadpans, cutting you off.

jungwon just sighs, shaking his head. "this is getting ridiculous."

jay, on the other hand, just smirks. like he knows exactly what sunghoon's talking about. like he knows exactly what he's doing to you.

and then, as if that wasn't bad enough, he leans in, just enough that his lips barely brush the shell of your ear.

"we could pull over," he murmurs, his tone low. "but i don't think your brother would like what i'd do to you if he did."

your whole body ignites.

you jerk away from him, pressing yourself against the car door like it's the only thing keeping you grounded. "jay," you hiss, your voice somewhere between scandalized and breathless.

jay just chuckles, eyes dark with amusement as he leans back against his seat, stretching his arms over his head like nothing happened.

"relax, princess," he murmurs, his smirk deepening. "we've still got two hours left. i was just getting started."

. . . . . ◟੭

you're not sure how exactly jay got so close to you, but the car ride had become unbearable.

sunghoon was now in the passenger seat, head lulled back as he let out loud snores. he had begun to whine about his neck being sore, asking, no begging, jungwon to switch with him.

grudging, he agreed.

jungwon drove steadily, music blasting as he tried to drown out sunghoon's snores. you huffed, at least your shitface of a brother wouldn't be bothering you anymore.

jay, however, was sitting far too close. his thigh pressed against yours, his scent thick in the small space between you. he hasn't stopped looking at you like he knows exactly what he's doing to you.

his long and thick fingers are now lazily tracing along the edge of your shorts, just barely touching the bare skin of your thigh.

your breath stutters, and you shift in your seat, but he doesn't move his hand away. if anything, he presses in closer.

"you're jumpy," he murmurs, low and teasing, his voice barely audible over the hum of the car engine. "something wrong?"

he watches your thighs clench, his smirk widening as he holds back from slotting his hand between your legs.

you grit your teeth, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you flustered. "your hand is somewhere wrong."

jay smirks, his fingers brushing up,"hmm. is it?"

his touch is barely there, teasing, deliberate. he's testing you, seeing how far he can push before you break.

and you're close. so, so close.

your thighs press together involuntarily, and jay notices. of course he notices. his smirk deepens, his fingers tracing slow, lazy circles against the soft skin above your knee.

your breath catches. "jay—"

"shh." his voice drops an octave, thick with amusement and something else—something darker. his fingers trail up just a little further, grazing the edge of your shorts. "relax, princess."

you could feel your heartbeat in your throat. your fingers dig into the seat, your body betraying you as a slow, burning heat curls in your stomach.

"you ever think about me, __?" he starts, his fingertips now reaching under your shorts. you swallow harshly, holding back a moan.

"you ever think about me, touching you? touching you in places where no one ever has?" his hand had switched from tracing small circles on your skin to full on gripping your thigh.

you let a small whimper escape you, your eyes widening on realization before you slap your hand over your mouth.

jay chuckles, the sound low and knowing, his breath warm against your cheek. his grip on your thigh tightens, his fingers pressing into your skin just enough to make you squirm.

"cute," he murmurs, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. "didn't take you for the type to be shy."

you want to snap back, to tell him to shut up, to tell him anything—but you can't. not when his hand is still on you, his touch searing through your skin, almost as if he was branding you.

branding you, as his.

his fingers move again, trailing feather-light touches along the inside of your thigh, dangerously close, but not nearly enough. your breath stutters, your hips shifting ever so slightly toward him, desperate for more friction, more anything.

jay notices, his smirk deepening as his fingers ghost higher, his lips barely grazing your jaw as he whispers, "so needy."

your fingers tighten around the seat, your body betraying you. "shut up," you mutter, though your voice lacks any bite.

jay hums, his nose brushing against your cheek. "you don't want me to."

it's not a question. it's a statement. one that makes your stomach flip, your skin burning under his touch.

his fingers trace back down, teasing, barely there, and it's driving you insane.

"tell me," he murmurs, his lips so close they almost touch yours. "tell me you want me to stop."

you should. you really should.

your brother and his friend were in the front seats for fucks sake, have you no shame?

"tell me, __. tell me you don't want my fingers in you right now," his voice heavy as his palm cups your pulsating heat.

you look ahead, your brother was still dead asleep and jungwon was focused on driving—eyes not leaving the road. the music he was blasting was loud, loud enough that he couldn't hear your brothers snores.

"jay.." you start, a whine leaving your mouth when you feel him put more pressure against your covered cunt.

"tell me you don't want it."

you shake your head, biting at your lip in embarrassment as you shut your eyes tightly. jay 'tsks's at your lack of response, removing his hand from your aching core. you immediately stop his actions, clenching your thighs so his hand would be trapped between your legs.

jay looks at you, his eyes dark as he stares you down with an unintelligible emotion. he purses his lips, he needed a verbal answer from you.

you shake as your nerves consume you, "i-i want your fingers in me, please," you say breathlessly, your gaze pinned to your lap. you feel jay shift beside you, you feel your head being tilted so your met with jays eyes.

"say it like you mean it, princess."

you feel lightheaded, "please, i want your fingers in me. i need them," you beg, your voice trembling.

jay's eyes flare with victory as your admission slips past your lips, his smirk widening. he had you right where he wanted you, after years of silence and teasing—he finally had you.

he leans in closer, his gaze never leaving yours as his hand slides under your shorts, the heat of his palm searing your dampened underwear.

his thumb circles your clit, making your hips jerk involuntarily as he hums in your ear. "so sensitive," he murmurs.

you gasp, trying to muffle the sound with your hand, but it's no use. he moves your soaked panties to the side, running his fingers along you soaked slit. jay groans when he feels how wet you are, rubbing circles against your clit before he begins to plant soft kisses against your neck.

your body shakes at the foreign feeling, not used to having someone else touch you there.

sure, you had a couple of flings in high school but none of them got far—your brother didn't let them.

your eyes flutter shut, a soft moan escaping you carelessly. unbeknownst to you, jungwon's eyes dart to the rearview mirror, but he doesn't say a word.

jay's eyes never leave yours as he begins to rub firm circles around your clit, small gasps leaving your mouth. his eyes flicker down to your lips, allowing himself to press his lips against yours.

he swallows your moans, his other hand reaching behind you to grab at your waist—making sure you don't move.

you squeal when you feel one of his fingers tease your entrance, your hand coming out to grip at his wrist.

jay pulls away from your lips for a moment, "so fucking pretty, princess. you're going to be a good girl and take my fingers, yeah?" he murmurs against your lips, his eyes sucking you in.

you nod mindlessly, letting jay do whatever he wanted to do to you.

he slips in a finger, groaning when he feels your velvety walls clench around him. "taking me so good, princess," he praises, pressing his lips back on to yours.

he continues to pump his finger into you while simultaneously rubbing your clit, swallowing every moan, whine, and whimper you let out.

your eyes rolls back when you feel him push in a second digit, fucking his fingers in and out of your cunt with each stroke hitting just the right spot— making you squirm.

jay internally groans at the situation, he wishes that he had you all to himself. he could have you in his lap, feel you push up against his throbbing cock while he made you cum with his fingers.

his thumb presses down on your clit, sending waves of pleasure through your body, and you can't help but lean into his touch, silently begging for more.

"look at you, princess. taking my fingers so well. knew you could do it," he coos, his sweet expression not matching his filthy actions. he curls his fingers in you, your mouth dropping open as you lean your head back in pleasure.

"hey, look at me, princess. keep your mouth wide open for me," he demands, stuffing his fingers deeper into your sopping cunt. you obey, looking at him with hazy eyes as you struggle to keep your head up.

you let out a surprised moan when jay spits a glob of his saliva on to your tongue. you swallow on instinct, your eyes fluttering close before he's smashing his lips onto yours again.

the car feels like it's spinning around you as your orgasm builds, your heart racing and your world narrowing down to the feel of his fingers inside you.

just when you think you can't handle it anymore, he speeds up, "fuck, look at you. look at you clenching all over my fingers. getting your pussy played with in the back of your brothers car by his best friend, so fucking dirty," he spits out, his grip on your waist getting tight as you squirm in his hold.

"don't you dare try to move away from me, __. i won't let you cum. take it like a good girl, yeah?"

you nod, a small sob leaving your mouth as you try to control your moans. the music was still blasting through the speakers, but there's only so much that music could hide.

jay captures your lips into a scorching kiss, feeling you clench on his fingers—he knew you were close.

"c'mom, princess. cum for me. cum all over my fingers," he says against your lips.

with a muffled cry into his mouth, you shatter, your body convulsing with the intensity of your climax.

jay groans into your mouth, feeling your walls flutter against his fingers. he helps you ride out your high, his thumb rubbing small circles against your puffy clit.

he pulls away, watching you with hooded eyes as you try to regain your composure, his own breathing labored.

he takes his hand out of your shorts, his hand soaked with your wetness. you make a move to grab some napkins from the side compartments only for jay to slip his fingers into his mouth. you watch him, your mouth falling agape as he cleans every bit of you off of his digits—moaning at the taste.

he smirks at your reaction, tugging you closer before pressing his lips onto yours—making you taste yourself.

"you did so good for me, princess."

you mewl at the praise, not trusting yourself to speak.

a moment goes by where the two of you stare at one another in silence. your head swarming with thoughts of what would happen now?

"hey," jay starts softly. you look at him with confusion, tilting your head.

"stop thinking so much, princess."

you swallow harshly at his words, "o-okay."

he grins, "i still want you to rewrite me that love letter, __," he says suddenly.

you scoff, "as if."

"you will, and i will too."

you look up at him in shock, "why?"

he looks at you incredulously, "what do you mean why? i think it's pretty obvious that i like you too, __. i wouldn't have gone along with the constant teasing if i didn't. i wouldn't have had you cumming over my fingers if i hadn't been in love with you for years," he confesses at the end, his cheeks a soft pink.

you look at him in shock, his confession taking you off guard.

"i know, it seems kind of sudden but you need to realize that me liking you is against bro code. you're my best friends little sister, your off limits. but, fuck that. i can't live any longer like this."

"i love you too," you say quickly, your eyes widening at your own words.

jay chuckles, "i know, princess. i know."

. . . . . ◟੭

"that was disgusting."

jay looks over at his best friend, "then maybe you shouldn't have been looking," he snips back, taking out your bags from the back of the car.

jungwon rolls his eyes, "i didn't mean to. you were like 2 feet away from me bro, i was going to see no matter what. your lucky sunghoon didn't see."

"i didn't see what?"

jay and jungwon both gasp in shock, looking at each other nervously.

"nothing-" jay says.

"jay was fingering your sister in the backseat while you took a nap," jungwon said at the same time.

"WHAT!"

— enjoy this fic? check out my other ones right here!

[gf2bellamy]

hello!!! i love your spencer reid fics!!! i'm sorry if you've written something like this before or don't want to lololol pls disregard if so! I would highly appreciate if you wrote an argument fic with spencer, and it just escalates out of nowhere and he yells at reader (😞) and he chooses to sleep on the couch for the night, but he hears her having a nightmare from the bedroom and goes to comfort her ? n she feels very guilty and sad over bothering him again after he was mad and hes like no my baby darling i love u 4ever heart eyes emoji, sorry for my ramble i just love angst to fluff hurt comfort and i want to be babied by spencer sigh,,, love your stuff again and have a great day !

anger — spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: reader having a nigthmare ( no explicit detail of what it is ) , reader and spencer having a fight , emotions run high a/n: hii !! i hope you like this <3 i loved writing this !!

Spencer Reid never yelled.

You knew this with the same certainty as you knew the way he mumbled equations in his sleep or how his hands always hesitated for half a second before touching you , simply because he still got nervous around you. His voice was a living thing, shifting effortlessly between lecture-hall projection and late-night murmurs against your skin, but it always remained controlled.

Until tonight.

It wasn’t shouting—not really. But the way his words turned razor-sharp at the edges, the way his voice cracked over a single syllable —it might as well have been a yell.

His hand raked through his hair, leaving it standing in chaotic tufts. In another moment, you might have smiled at how boyish it made him look. But now, with his shoulders rigid and his breaths coming too fast, all you could think was:

I did that.

The argument had started over something simple—his recklessness in the field, the way he threw himself into danger without hesitation. But then, as arguments often did, it spiraled. Old wounds were opened, and before either of you could stop it, the conversation had turned into something far uglier. 

Now, standing in the suffocating silence of your apartment, you had nothing left to say.

So you turned away, retreating to the bathroom, the click of the door behind you sounding far too final. You leaned against it, your breath shuddering as you pressed your palms against the cool wood. A single tear slipped free before you could stop it, and you swiped it away angrily, as if your own emotions were betraying you. 

Your reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror caught you off guard - eyes glassy and red-rimmed.

On the other side of the door, Spencer stood frozen for a long moment before exhaling sharply. He dragged his hands down his face, guilt already gnawing at him. Instead of following you, he sank onto the couch dropping his head into his hands. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there, caught between regret and exhaustion, but eventually, he moved. With stiff motions, he grabbed the throw blanket draped over the armrest—the one you always curled under during movie nights—and tugged it over himself before lying down.

When you finally emerged, the apartment was quiet. Your steps were slow as you made your way toward the bedroom, but you stopped when you passed the living room. 

There he was. Spencer, stretched out on the couch. Your chest tightened at the sight, a fresh wave of hurt crashing over you.

He’d rather sleep here, cramped and restless, than share a bed with you. 

For a second, you considered going to him. You could reach out, brush your fingers through his hair, murmur an apology—anything to bridge this gap. But the stubborn ache in your heart held you back. 

So you turned away, slipping into the bedroom alone. The bed felt too big, too cold without him, and as you curled into your usual spot, you stared at the empty space beside you.

Spencer was tossing and turning. 

A car passed outside, headlights sweeping across the wall. For a fleeting moment, the light caught on the framed photo on the end table—your smiling faces at JJ's wedding, his arm slung carelessly around your shoulders.

He pressed the heels of his hands against his stinging eyes. The statistics on successful conflict resolution ran through his mind on a loop (87% of couples reconcile within 48 hours, 63% report stronger bonds post-reconciliation) but the numbers turned to ash before they could comfort him.

He should’ve known he wouldn’t be able to sleep without you.

The silence shattered with a whimper.

The sheets rustled violently down the hall, followed by a choked gasp that sent ice flooding his veins. Before his mind could catch up, he was moving—the blanket pooling at his feet, as he moved toward the bedroom.

The sight before him made his stomach twist. 

You were asleep, but barely. Your body twitched under the covers, your fingers clutching at the sheets. A pained expression flickered across your face, your breath coming in uneven gasps. 

A nightmare. 

Spencer crossed the room in two strides. He sat carefully on the edge of the mattress, his hand hovering over your shoulder before he finally let it rest there, his touch feather-light. 

"Hey—" His voice cracked as he reached for you, hands hovering—too afraid to startle, too desperate not to touch. Your skin was fever-hot under his fingertips when he finally brushed them along your arm.

You didn’t wake. 

Your breathing hitched, a quiet sound of distress escaping your lips, and something in Spencer’s chest cracked open. He squeezed your shoulder gently, his other hand brushing the hair back from your forehead. 

Then, you shot upright with a gasp, your eyes flying open, heart hammering against your ribs. For a disoriented second, the room spun—until your gaze landed on Spencer.

The first tear slipped down your cheek.

Then his arms were around you, crushing you against him so tightly you could feel his heartbeat stuttering against your sternum. His lips moved against your hair, whispering words too fractured to make sense—"I'm here, you're safe, I've got you"— as you clutched at his back.

Then, barely audible, you whispered, “I’m sorry for earlier.” 

Spencer stilled. 

Of all the things he expected you to say, that wasn’t it. Not when your breaths were still uneven, not when he could feel the faint tremor in your hands. Guilt twisted sharply in his chest. 

You swallowed hard, your voice fraying at the edges. “I really didn’t mean to be overbearing—” 

“Hey, stop.” His hand cradled the back of your head, his thumb brushing the nape of your neck.

You were sorry? After he’d been the one to raise his voice, after he’d let his frustration push him to sleep on the couch like some petulant child? After you’d been the one to wake up trembling from a nightmare, and his pride had kept him from coming to you sooner?  

He shifted, pulling back just enough to cup your face in his hands. Your eyes were glassy in the faint moonlight, your lower lip caught between your teeth like you were fighting to keep it from trembling. 

God, he’d been an idiot. 

“Look at me,” he whispered. When your gaze flicked up to his, he held it, his thumbs sweeping over your cheeks. “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who—” His voice cracked. “I shouldn’t have let it get that far. I shouldn’t have acted like that.” 

You shook your head slightly, but he pressed on, his forehead dipping to rest against yours. 

“I hate fighting with you,” he admitted, the words raw. “And I hate that I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me tonight.” 

A shaky breath escaped you, your hands lifting to grip his wrists. 

“I just worry,” you whispered. 

Spencer’s chest tightened. Of course you did. After everything he’d seen in the field, after every close call, how could you not? 

Spencer's thumb traced the curve of your cheekbone as he whispered, "I know. And I'll be more careful. I promise."

The words settled between you like a vow.

You searched his eyes - those warm, hazel eyes that usually sparkled with facts and theories, now darkened with remorse. Your fingers twisted slightly in the fabric of his worn sweatshirt as you asked, so softly it nearly broke him, "Will you sleep here with me?" 

Spencer's breath caught. The question, so small and tentative, landed like a physical blow. That you even had to ask - that his childish anger had made you doubt whether he'd stay - sent a fresh wave of guilt crashing through him. 

You were asking permission for something that should have been unquestionable. That his anger had carved this hesitation into you, made you doubt your place in his arms.

"Yeah," he breathed, his voice cracking as he gathered you closer. His lips pressed against your forehead, lingering there as if he could imprint the truth through touch alone. "You never have to ask. I'm not going anywhere." 

The bed dipped as he slid beneath the covers. His arms encircled you, pulling your back flush against his chest. His knees tucked behind yours, his heartbeat steady against your shoulder blades, his nose buried in your hair. 

The warm press of his palms against your stomach, fingers splaying possessively calmed you down. The steady thrum of his heartbeat against your spine too.

His nose brushed the nape of your neck.The familiar scent of your shampoo mixed with the salt of dried tears sent another wave of guilt crashing through him. He pressed his lips to the sensitive spot behind your ear.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into the darkness, the words muffled against your skin. "For the couch. For making you feel like I wouldn't want this." His hand found yours, intertwining your fingers and squeezing gently. "There's nowhere I'd rather be." 

You turned in his embrace, your nose brushing against his.

Spencer's hand came up to cradle your jaw, his touch feather-light. "Next time I'm being an idiot," he whispered, "just come get me, okay? Even if I'm mad. Even if I'm stubborn." A small, self-deprecating smile tugged at his lips. "Especially then." 

His nose brushed yours again.

"Drag me back. Yell at me. Throw a book at my head if you have to." A quiet laugh shook his frame, as you smiled at the sound.

You didn't trust your voice not to break so you nodded, pressing closer. Spencer's fingers began a soothing pattern along your spine.

As sleep finally claimed you both, Spencer pressed one last kiss to your temple, his arms tightening slightly around you.

[be-xkyy]

𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑐 𝑌𝑎𝑛! 𝐿𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑆𝑜𝑛

Warning: platonic yandere, possessive, jealous, crying, a little cute?, this is PLATONIC.

This is something platonic that I don't know why I wrote, since it's not part of my usual content... but the idea came to me and I wrote it in an hour or so, so here it is. 🤷🏻‍♀️🖤

Divider credits: @cafekitsune ★ @bernardsbendystraws ★

Masterlist

Part 2

Yandere Little Son who is a beautiful and energetic 5 year old boy, your only baby, your only son for now (forever) who adores his mommy, YOU, with all his heart.

Yandere Little Son who since he was a baby was always calm and happy in your arms, but only with you, since he would sob and scream at the top of his lungs when someone else grabbed him (including his father)

Yandere Little Son who despite everyone saying that he would become more independent and less clingy when he grew up, that didn't happen. Oh no. He just became more attached to you and when he learned to walk he started following you around (like a little duckling)

Yandere Little Son who took his first steps walking towards you, his first words were "Ma—ma!", all his drawings are of you and him (and a distant figure in a corner that according to your son's own words is his father. At least he added it... right?)

Yandere Little Son who was sobbing and screaming when you first took him to daycare, the teacher told you that all kids were like that on their first day and that your son would calm down when he was with the other kids. Only an hour later you received a call from daycare to go pick him up since he wouldn't stop crying.

Yandere Little Son who learns at home with a private tutor since he doesn't want to be separated from you at any time, he pretends to get along with the tutor in your presence only to kick her hard under the table when you go to the kitchen for lemonade (he gets upset when she takes it easy and doesn't give up)

Yandere Little Son who approaches angrily and kicks his father with all his might (it doesn't hurt) when he sees him kissing you, his little hands push him (without moving him even a millimeter) while he yells at him in a shrill voice.

"Get away from my mommy! Get away, get away!".

Yandere Little Son who every night sleeps in your room regardless of you putting him to bed in his room, he leaves his room to go to yours, climbs into bed and lays right between you and his father, he snuggles up to your side squeezing his teddy bear while asking you to tell him a story (he falls asleep halfway through)

Yandere Little Son who always wants to match your clothes, always helps you in the kitchen when you're cooking something (he ends up covered in flour) and always gives you flowers when you go out and even when you're at home he cuts the flowers from the neighbor's garden to give them to you (your neighbor comes to your house upset because your son pulled out all her daisies)

Yandere Little Son who started crying when he found out you were pregnant and had a little brother or sister, he sobbed clinging to you hiding his face in your stomach saying he doesn't want a little brother or sister.

"NO! Mommy... sniff— sniff... I don't want a brother or sister! You'll stop loving me and only want him! sniff—"

Yandere Little Son who lets you comfort him by taking him in your arms telling him that even if you have another child he will always be your baby, your first son, that you have special affection for him, he stops crying hiding his face in your neck even though your words calm him down, he takes his head out of your neck to look at you his little hands gently grab your cheeks.

"And if I don't like my little brother when he's here... can we return him? Give him to someone else who wants him... ok mommy?"

[ccazimi]

cw: truform sukuna x reader, heian au, fluff

wc: 1.2k

a/n: wrote this to procrastinate on the neuroscience lab that i have to complete...

Sukuna simply does not understand.

He's given you the largest chambers, second only to his own, the best of anything to provide you with whatever comforts you could ever want.

However, you choose to sleep with him at night. This is still fine, considering his futon is so incredibly large that it could fit him while giving you more than enough space to sleep.

And still, even with this ocean of bedding beside him, he finds himself pushed to the fucking edge of the futon till he's nearly on the floor.

Why?

Because you insist on sleeping by him, sticking yourself next to him as close as possible.

Not in a normal way either, no, just body contact is simply not good enough.

You'll wrap your upper arm and leg over him so that you can cling to him as tightly as possible like a koala hanging onto a tree branch. Sometimes you'll even shift up in your sleep till you're basically wrapped around his head, pretty much holding him in a headlock to keep his skull secure against your chest.

Sukuna runs hot, he always has. So naturally he starts to get even more overheated with the warmth of your body pressed right next to him, rendering him unable to sleep comfortably.

He shifts away out of your hold while he's half asleep, still right beside you, but leaving just a little bit of room so he can cool off.

And somehow, even though you're literally sleeping, you instinctively shift right into that little gap to glue yourself to him again.

This cycle continues, him getting hot, moving away, you moving closer. Like this, you effectively herd him like cattle till he feels the uncomfortable edge of his futon and finally wakes up fully to realize that he's about a centimeter away from sleeping on the fucking floor.

Sukuna looks at you and then at the remaining expanse of the futon right next to you.

Unbelievable.

He tries to push you back into the Great Plains of bedding beside you but you grumble when he disturbs your beauty sleep, eyes still shut.

"Move, brat. I've got no fuckin' room."

Sukuna cannot believe that a human woman who is like a third of his size, has him sleeping at the corner of his own bed like he's the family dog.

You don't move.

He sighs and forcefully picks you up, placing you in the center of all that empty room.

This wakes you up, and of course the very first emotion you feel at having been disturbed is irritation.

"What are you doing?!" you whisper, scowling at him like this is all his fault.

Sukuna blinks at you incredulously, this creature that he could finish off before she could even make a noise, with an attitude that levels his own.

"Me? You keep pushing me to the side like we don't have this entire fucking bed. I will not sleep like a peasant in my own chambers."

"What does that even mean? You're just being classist."

One of Sukuna's eyes twitches.

"That's not the point. Just...sleep on your side of the bed, okay?!" he growls before turning away to go back to sleep.

You mutter some expletives under your own breath as well before also falling asleep.

It can't have been more than forty-five minutes when he finally fully wakes again to find himself once more at the edge of the futon.

Strangely though, he doesn't feel you stuck onto him like usual.

He turns to find you sleeping horizontally in that wide open space after having cornered him to the edge of the bed.

All in your sleep.

Sukuna has had just about enough of these antics, further agitated from the lack of rest. He moves over to flick your forehead with one hand, almost feeling bad about it, if it weren't for the current circumstances.

"Wha-" Your eyes shoot open before you glare at him. "Do you have some kind of problem?"

Well, that does it.

If you were anyone else he would've murdered you on the spot, but you're not, so your punishment is limited to him angrily telling you that if you do it again he's going to make you sleep in your own room.

In response you drop your mouth open, staring at him in complete offense like he's personally cursed your entire bloodline. "You do not mean that."

"Try me."

That's enough to have you huffing, getting up off the bed and storming towards the door.

Sukuna frowns. "Where the hell are you going? I said if you do it again, I'm not telling you to leave."

His words fall upon deaf ears, because honestly, he should know by now how stubborn you are.

You leave his room, and go sleep in your own bed.

Sure it's not nearly as nice, but it works just because you're fueled by pure spite, and soon you're fast asleep.

Sukuna, on the other hand, finds himself not able to sleep at all. He tosses and turns until sunlight peaks over the horizon and those damn birds start making a racket outside.

And though he's a bit miserable the whole day, he figures it's fine as you'll come sneaking into his room to sleep with him again tonight, like you always do.

Except you don't.

He waits, night falls, and still you don't arrive.

Finally with a sigh he gets up to go to your chambers, telling himself this is for practical purposes, and practical purposes only because apparently his body can't fall asleep without you right by him.

You're laying in your bed when he enters your room, seemingly asleep.

"Stop pretending to be asleep,” he states flatly.

You, with your closed lids, wonder how he knew that. Either way, you don't respond, continuing to feign sleep.

Sukuna remains unimpressed. "I know you're awake, woman."

He's slept with you enough nights to know that there's no way you would sleep so normally, laying perfectly straight in your bed, on your back, blankets tucked neatly around you.

Sukuna groans and simply walks over to your futon, bends over, and slings you over his shoulder like a burlap sack.

And just like he knew you would, you immediately start squirming as he hauls you back to his room, throwing insults at him that he's never even heard before, not even from you.

Still, there's not much you can do, and eventually he gets to his chambers, dropping you on his futon.

You land flat on your butt, before crossing your arms to glare up at him.

"I don't want to sleep with you,” you hiss.

"Don't care."

You grumble some more before resigning to sleep at the opposite edge of the bed from him, back turned his way. You feel the futon dip under his weight as he gets in and settles down.

A moment of silence and then-

"Come here,” he orders.

You don't move, and when you don't, he does, shifting over till he's pretty much spooning you.

"Asshole,” you mumble, though you let your body melt into his touch. "Move, I have no room."

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

But really it doesn't matter, because he'll wake up on the opposite side of the bed anyway in the morning, with you wrapped around him like usual.

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Unlucky Overtime

SUMMARY: The Spelldrive game against Royal Sword Academy was very close. But it was in overtime that the teams broke the tie and Night Raven College... lost. They were very upset by this loss and need your comfort even if they deny it.

CHARACTERS: Spelldrive Club 🧹 (Leona Kingscholar; Ruggie Bucchi; Epel Felmier)

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Comfort; Kiss

WORD COUNT: An average of 780 words per character.

COMMENTS: Following the same premise as what I wrote for Basketball Club and Track and Field Club of "What if they lost?"

When I started writing about comforting them when they lose, I ended up finding it more interesting and cute than celebrating when they win. I think it's in the bad times that feelings are most intimate and honest.

When I wrote Epel's part, I was upset about something IRL and it ended up helping me writing him. 😂

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy 😉

OTHER CLUBS:

But… We Lost… - Basketball Club (Ace / Floyd / Jamil)

Romantic Experiment - Science Club (Trey / Rook)

For a Quarter of a Second - Track and Field Club (Deuce / Jack)

A Rainy Walk - Mountain Lover Club (Jade) / Gargoyle Studies Club (Malleus)

CONTEXT: If there are competitive players who love to win, they are the members of the NRC Spelldrive Club. Leona, Ruggie and Epel especially. They were playing with everything, especially because of the school they were playing against. The game against Royal Sword Academy was very close, as expected.

When the game ended they needed to break the tie and so the game went into overtime. But unfortunately, this did not give your school the victory.

Leona seemed upset about losing, as did the other players on his team. But even so, he was the calmest in comparison.

They congratulated the RSA students on their victory (or as close to it as possible, if we ignore the slight growls and murderous looks). They avoided unnecessary interactions until they could leave the field.

You know very well how Leona hates to lose, especially when he tries so hard. And so you knew you had to check on him and try to comfort him, even if he says he doesn't want you to.

You go to the locker rooms exit, but you don't see Leona coming out. Many of the players looked at you angrily when they passed by, but knowing how close you were to Leona, they didn't have the courage to even be rude to you directly.

When you see Ruggie, you ask him about Leona. He tells you that Leona left right after he came in, that he went in, grabbed his things and left. He didn't even change his clothes. This worries you and Ruggie.

“You should go check on him.” Ruggie tells you. “And even if he says he wants to be alone, don't listen, okay? He likes your company even if he doesn't like to admit it. I would also warn you not to pressure him, but you already know that.”

“And where do you think he went?” You ask.

“Where do you think he went? Come on, it's not like we don't know his favorite spots.”

You decided to try your luck at the Botanical Garden, and it looks like you were right, but you didn't realize it right away. You go to one of his favorite spots under a certain tree. You look around, but you don't see anyone, until you suddenly see a tail appearing hanging down beside you. You look up and see Leona lying on a thick branch above you.

“I don't need your comfort.” Leona says, without moving and without looking at you. “Go to your dorm. It's late.”

“You wanted me to see you.” You say. “Otherwise you wouldn't let your tail fall beside me.”

“Believe what you want, herbivore.”

His tail was still there by your side and you don't resist to touch it to mess with him. You reach your hand towards his tail, but at the last second it swings, lightly hits you in the face and returns to Leona's lap, away from you. He finally looks at you, but with an annoyed face and growls.

“I'm not in the mood to play. Go away before I bite you... Don't look at me like that.” He adjusts his head again and stops looking at you.

You sit down against the tree trunk. He growls again, but doesn't move. Just like with cats, you'll just stay there waiting for him to come to you. You use your phone or read a book while you wait.

A few minutes later it starts to get colder, you start to notice it and curl up a little. Suddenly something falls on top of your head, you uncover yourself and see that it is a long coat. Leona's captain's coat. You look up and see him in the same lazy position but without the coat and just with the black clothes and belts. You put it on and you start to warm up right away because it was still warm from him having been wearing it.

A few more minutes later and you are startled again by something that falls right in front of you. Or rather, that lands right in front of you.

“Don't you get tired?” Leona asks you, crouching down and looking you in the eyes. “Of being so stubborn?” He has that unbothered, but still slightly annoyed face.

You put down what you had in your hands and stretch your legs on the floor. He gives you a little throat growl. You smile, but he growls at you more, and suddenly he throws himself at you as if he's going to attack you. But he didn't. He stopped very close to your face.

“Yes. I'm angry that I lost.” He says in a low voice. “And that's why you shouldn't have come to me. I don't need pity or words of comfort.”

“Do you really think I pity you?” You ask. “I wasn't worried about you being angry. I was worried that you would fall back into that depressive state of feeling like life is unfair and it's not worth trying anymore.”

His green eyes remain fixed on yours and suddenly he kisses you eagerly. You already know him well enough to know what truly hides behind those roars and tough guy mask. His instinct was to reward you for it.

After he breaks the kiss he lays his head either on your chest or in your lap and hugs you. You are trapped now until he is willing to let you go.

Ruggie was so angry that Leona had to calm him down. All the NRC players congratulated the RSA players, but clearly only because it was what they had to do. The tension and animosity could be cut with a knife. After that, the NRC players go straight to the locker rooms. You feel like you should check on Ruggie.

You go to the exit of the locker rooms to wait for him. Some of the players who passed you on their way out gave you bad looks, but knowing how close you were to Ruggie, they did nothing more than just grumble into the air.

When Ruggie finally left he was still angry. When he saw you, his expression didn't change much other than being a little embarrassed.

“Hi, sorry, I don't have time.” He apologizes, clearly trying to avoid you, but smiling. “I want to put these clothes in the wash ASAP.” He walks around you and starts going away.

You follow him.

“I was thinking about trying those new donuts from Sam's shop with you.” You say.

You see his ears twitch with interest.

“Yeah... but you know, I'm not really hungry. And since they're new, those donuts are still expensive. I'm waiting for him to lower the price a little.”

“Don't worry, I already bought them for you.”

Ruggie stops! And looks at you in surprise.

“You did?! Why?”

“I wanted to give them to you after the game anyway. You know, for the good game.” You see him pouting. “I didn't buy them as a consolation gift. I did it before the game started. I was going to give them to you even if you had won.”

He seemed more satisfied with that explanation and you took out the box you had in your backpack.

“How come I don't smell it?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise, so I asked Sam if there was a way to hide the scent from you. He used a spell on the box.”

Ruggie asks you if he charged extra for the spell. You said he didn't. Before you open the box, Ruggie suggests that you go to a more chill place. After all, you were still near the locker rooms surrounded by players and spectators.

The Windmill is right behind the coliseum and not many people usually go there. In fact, there was no one else there. The two of you sat on the edge of the stream that surrounded the Windmill. The sound of running water could calm both of you.

You open the box, take out one of the donuts and hold it up to his mouth. He blushes a little, but accepts your offer and takes a bite. You loosen your grip and he takes the donut out of your hand with his mouth.

While he was eating he looked at the water and despite the calming sound his anger returned because of the thoughts that also returned to that game. You could hear him mumbling softly, and see his ears back and his teeth showing.

He finishes eating the donut and stands up abruptly, starting to release his frustration with swearing and cursing to the air, kicking the ground and even pulling up grass. You remain sitting on the floor eating your donut.

As soon as he finishes his emotional outburst, which he always did with his back to you, he finally turns around, dropping his arms and sighing. He kneels down next to you, looks at you with a pout, picks up the box of donuts and takes it from your lap. For a second you think he's going to steal all the donuts for himself, but he sets the box aside and lays his head in your lap as if he's laying it on the pillow after a tantrum. You even hear a dog-like whining. If you pet his head, you might see his tail wagging a little.

The two of you continued eating the donuts as you pet his head and ears to comfort him. When the donuts are gone and the box is empty, he gets up, sitting on the grass next to you. Ruggie looks at you, still a little sad, but calmer and with an affectionate sparkle in his eyes.

He doesn't say anything, he just throws himself into a kiss as a thank you.

EPEL WAS PISSED!!! Leona and Ruggie had to calm him down. Even RSA players were scared to see someone like Epel like that. Like other NRC players he avoided unnecessary interactions with players from the opposing and winning team.

As soon as they were able to retreat to the locker rooms Epel was one of the quickest to leave the field. You knew you should check on him.

You go to the exit of the locker rooms to wait for him. You see the other NRC players walk past you, angry about losing and when you finally see Epel coming out of the locker room, the expression on his face is the same if not worse than that of his other teammates, even the vein in his forehead was bulging.

But that changes completely the moment he sees you. His shoulders, and consequently his posture, relaxed and he smiled slightly at you, knowing he couldn't fool you with a big smile. He had a bandage on his nose because of the injury he suffered when he blocked a shot with his face during the game.

You walk over to him and carefully place your hands on his face, showing your concern for his injury. He blushes!

“D-Don't worry. I'm fine, I promise... Gah, wait! Vil’s gonna kill me when he sees me like this!” He suddenly worries.

You say that Vil doesn't need to see him so soon and suggest that the two of you go for a walk so he can clear his head a bit. He sighs and accepts your offer, you are usually right at these times.

“I really need to go for a walk. Or a run. Dagnabbit, I don't even know if walking around the entire campus is enough. If we could leave the camps whenever we wanted and I had a Blastcycle, or... OH! What if you come with me for a broom ride?”

“But you just finished a game of Spelldrive.” You say “Are you sure getting back on a broomstick will be good for you?”

“Don't worry, I can separate a game from a ride. Trust me, it will be good to feel the fresh wind on my face.” He gives you a reassuring smile.

He goes to get his broom and you climb on it behind him, holding on to his torso. The beginning of the ride is pleasant, but eventually he starts to speed up until he reaches a point where you squeeze him and ask him to slow down.

“AH! Sorry, sorry, sorry! My mind went back to that game and I got angry again. I must have started speeding up by accident because of that. Sorry... I think we should stop somewhere for a break.”

He lands on the roof of Ramshackle Dorm.

“Sorry again if I worried you.” He tells you after you both get off the broom. But the ride actually helped me a bit.” Suddenly he grimaces in pain and puts his fingers to the bandage on his nose, it seems his bad mood was returning.

You cup his face and kiss his nose lightly. He blushes a lot again and look away from you.

“I wanted you to see us win.” He admits. “I was so excited to know you were watching. I really wanted to make you proud.”

You tell him that you're proud of him, just as Ruggie and Leona probably are too. Who wouldn't be? He always works so hard to improve. And he's still just a freshman, there will be more opportunities to win, he's just starting out. And for a start, you're sure he played better than a lot of freshmen. You finish by saying that he should rest, especially with an injury like that, and you even offer to take care of it for him if he needs.

“Thank you so much, (Y/N).” He smiles sweetly at you. “I promise I'll give you a win next time.”

If you say that you would prefer him to be more careful, his smile and gaze will become even more affectionate.

“I'll try. Although... hum, nothing.”

You say that now you want to know and he blushes slightly.

“I... I was just thinking that... it must be nice to be taken care of by you. I wouldn't mind getting a shot in the face again for that. Ha ha ha.”

If you hug him, he will freeze for a second, but then he will hug you back and you will feel a loving squeeze, as he whispers a thank you. If you let him, he will kiss your cheek after the hug. And if you want, he will continue with another type of kiss.

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[ieattenisballs]

ON TODAY'S EPISODE OF BAD CLASSROOM ORGANIZATION:

Fucking rows

Like who thought this shit was a good idea

LIKE THERE IS

1. NO SPACE FOR MOVEMENT

2. NO PLACE FOR YOUR BAGS ("oH pUt ThEm UnDeR tHe DeSk" BITCH U THINK I HAVEN'T TRIED THAT?)

3. SHARING A DESK IN SUCH SMALL AREAS GIVES EVEN LESS ROOM

thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Hate your guts (pt 1)

~ this fic is my Christmas gift💙 i'm dividing this into two parts bcs tumblr is shit

pairing: rockstar!hyunjin x rockstar afab!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, smut

wc: 26.6k

synopsis: hwang hyunjin, your sworn enemy. the person who finds and pushes all your buttons, annoys you and makes you angry. the person you're trying to avoid so badly, only to end up practically sharing a bed with him on tour. let the fun begin!

warnings: lots of swearing, smoking and alcohol, mentions of blood and throwing up, mild violence, multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, oral (f and m), fingering, handjob, semi-public sex, spanking, creampies, mix of degradation and praise

a/n: thank you @frehyun for helping me come up with a name for hyunjin's band💕 also a thank you to @jehhskz @moonchild9350 and @hyunebunx for giving me suggestions, listening to me yap and being supportive while i was writing this🥹🩷🩷🩷 title is inspired by inji, go listen to her music🫶🏻

a little ramble: feel free to skip this! but i just wanted to say that this was supposed to be done sooner cause i had other fics planned out to write but work got in the way. so i wrote this fic whenever and wherever i could; hiding in the bathroom at work, during my break, at the bus station, at 3am when i couldn't sleep etc... it's been a ride and i'm proud of how it turned out, hopefully y'all enjoy it too🥹🫶🏻

“...And do you look into the mirror to remind yourself you’re there? Or have somebody’s goodnight kisses got that covered? When I’m not being honest, I pretend that you were just some lover…”

It was a perfect but short moment.

The fresh breeze coming into the car where the window was opened just a little was enough to give you some air but still managed to hide most of your face from the outside world. 

The music in your ears was loud, so loud that you were drowning in it, the warm and comforting voice, the melancholic guitar riff in the background, and the gentle sluggish drums putting it all together into a song that made your eyes water.

You tuned everything else out as this was the only moment of peace you were going to get today.

You needed every shred of sanity you could gather, and you were determined to hold onto it as much as you could.

Because today, you had an interview with him.

Hwang Hyunjin.

Oh, the name you know so well.

Even thinking about the way it sounds makes you feel angry.

It seemed as if his life mission was to find every single button of yours and push them repeatedly until you exploded like a ticking bomb.

Your mind wandered as you thought about him and how much his existence angered you, your stomach turning into knots.

Or maybe it was just pre-interview nerves.

No matter how many times you talked in front of the camera, it always made you feel anxious and jittery.

Being on stage was fun, there was no anxiety there as whenever you would step on it and see all the people cheering for you and singing along to the music you and your friends wrote, your heart felt full, your soul elated. 

It was an exhilarating feeling you couldn’t even begin to explain to someone who’d never experienced it.

Every concern in your head, every ache in your soul, every tear behind your eyelids threatening to spill got erased when you gave yourself to the stage.

If you could, you would definitely try to avoid the interviews and just perform.

But your record company had other plans.

Being the only up and rising all girls rock band in the company meant that you needed promotion, and what better way to promote than to collab with the only boy rock band in the same company?

Hwang Hyunjin’s band.

Yes, you couldn’t wait for this day to be over.

“Y/n!” you were shaken out of your thoughts, as your manager pulled at your headphones.

“What?” you almost snapped at her, startled by her antics.

“You were staring off into space and muttering angrily about Hyunjin. Something like ‘poke his eyes out’ and ‘conceited dick’.” Ana giggled, covering her lips with her hand as you rolled your eyes, realizing that you’ve already arrived at the building for the interview.

“I’m sure you find all this amusing. But I am not amused at all. Last time I had an interview with that... bastard, everyone thought we were dating and started shipping us.” you recoil at the thought. “I would never date someone like him.”

“Oh y/n, lighten up! You know there will always be rumors of all kinds. The dating rumors are the least harmful ones, trust me. Just act like you’re besties with Hyunjin, for an hour tops.”

You take a deep breath in, then sigh.

“I am a professional. I will do this right.” you nod with a determined tone as Ana bumped her fist with yours.

“That’s the spirit!” your manager smacked your thigh happily as you yelped, making her laugh before she exited the car.

Since you were in the underground parking lot, there was no press around so you walked out of the car freely, going directly to the elevator that would take you to the reception.

Ana pressed the button when you walked in and just as the doors started closing, someone’s combat boot was pushed between the silver doors, stopping them and making them open again.

Your eyes traveled up from the boots, to the tight leather pants and the skimpy tank top revealing a tattoo sleeve, right to the face you hoped you won’t be seeing for at least another ten minutes.

Hyunjin had an obnoxious smirk dancing on his lips as he looked down at you, puffing his chest out like some peacock showing off his feathers and you already wanted to smack the shit out of him.

His manager, Anthony waved at the two of you, ushering him into the elevator.

“Good morning y/n, Ana.” Anthony greeted as Hyunjin kept smirking at you.

“It was good until now.” you crossed your arms over your chest.

Even the cologne Hyunjin was wearing made you want to puke your guts out so you stepped away from him.

A chuckle escaped his lips as he leaned on the wall casually, never taking his eyes off of you.

“Aw, you throwing a tantrum already baby?” he smirked at you and you started fuming.

Both of your managers rolled their eyes, Ana muttering ‘here we go again’ as she shook her head.

“I see you have a new piercing on your face. You needed another hole to let the air out of that empty head?” you said, trying to sound nonchalant and Hyunjin scoffed.

“I’m gonna ignore that comment and focus on the fact that you’re counting my piercings. Observing me, huh?” he looked at you smugly.

“Yeah, cause I have nothing better to do than-”

Ding!

“Alright, break it off kids, were here!” Anthony said, quickly pulling Hyunjin out of the elevator.

“See? I can’t stand him.” you groaned as Ana chuckled.

“You stood up to him pretty well.” Ana winked. “Let's go get some coffee, get you properly awake before the interview.” she gripped your shoulders, shaking you a little as you groaned in protest.

Thankfully, Hyunjin had disappeared somewhere and you were glad he wasn’t around to annoy you, as you made small talk with a few of the staff you knew there since you’ve already been interviewed for the same channel before. 

“Ana, I’m gonna go get some air before we start.” you felt the nerves creeping up inside you.

“Okay, but you have to be back in five minutes.” she reminded you and you gave her a thumbs up, before practically sprinting down the hall to get to the little terrace hidden on the side.

Staff used it for smoke breaks, and you decided to use it to calm your anxiety down.

You flung the door open and stepped out onto the balcony, quickly taking a deep breath in while you looked down at the city before you.

“Needed to see me once more before the interview?” a voice rang out to the left of you.

Hyunjin’s voice.

Of course the bastard is here, you thought, your face becoming hot in annoyance.

“I had no idea you were here, asshole.” you turned to look at him.

He was leaning on the railing, flexing his muscles, a long vein protruding under the layer of the swirling colorful flowers inked into his skin, leading all the way to his long fingers with chipped nail polish and a cigarette pinched between his thumb and index finger.

He looked at you intently through his bangs that were haphazardly falling into his eyes, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, before his tongue poked out to play with the piercing adorning it.

“I thought you had more originality when it comes to nicknames, darling.” he said mockingly before taking another drag from his cigarette.

“Don’t call me that.” you turned around to leave but Hyunjin’s long arm quickly blocked your way, his palm splayed on the wall.

You looked up at him and stepped back, just as he puffed the smoke out your way.

“You leaving?” he looked smug again, intrusive thoughts of pushing him off the balcony appeared in your mind.

“Yes, this space is too small and your cologne is nauseating.” your face scrunches up.

“Aw, I’ll make sure to find another one you’d like.” Hyunjin smirks.

“Don’t bother.” you ducked under his arm and opened the door, walking away as fast as you could.

At least he helped in a way, you weren’t anxious anymore, just annoyed and waiting for this day to be over. 

“Where is Hyunjin, we’re starting in a minute.” Anthony’s brows furrowed while you were ushered towards the room. 

“Last I saw him, he was smoking on the balcony.” you shrugged as they sat you down. 

The chair where Hyunjin would be sitting was too close for comfort and you wanted so badly to push it away, but you figured it was there because of the camera frame. 

“We’re on in 30 seconds!” one of the staff yelled and you rolled your eyes. 

Of course he was late, the self-centered bastard. You were sure he was enjoying this, everyone waiting on his highness to arrive, everyone panicking around him as he wears that disgusting smug smirk on his face.

“In 10…9…” the staff started counting down just as the door swung open and a breathless Hyunjin ran into the room, almost tripping over your crossed legs before he sat down on the chair next to you. 

After he ran in, one of the girls working there ran in too, quickly taking her place with rosy cheeks and her lipgloss smeared. 

You rolled your eyes and looked at him, the glitter from the girl’s lipgloss was visibly shining on his lips and chin. 

“You have a little something.” you said and he smirked, wiping his chin off before leaning towards you.

“My lips were dry.” he whispered with a wink.

You were more than ready to get this over with, seething with anger at his unprofessional behavior that you didn’t even notice the camera began rolling. 

“... today’s special guests are y/n of Venus Flytrap and Hyunjin of Lycoris Radiata! I hope y’all are as excited as I am, since it’s been so long. Y/n, let’s start with you. You have a new album coming out soon, can we get a little sneak peek of that?” the interviewer, Sarah, asked as you adjusted on your chair. 

“This is our third album now, and this time Steph and Janey participated in the writing more than before, so the songs are really personal to all three of us.”

“Are we finally gonna hear about their love story?” Sarah wiggled her eyebrows. 

“We may.” you smirked at her, not wanting to reveal too much.

“How about yours?” she added on, in the corner of your eye you saw Hyunjin leaning towards you as he stared at you, manspreading like always, his knee knocking into yours. 

“Huh?” 

“Your love story. Is there a special guy or girl in your life?” the interviewer asked, making you feel annoyed instantly. 

You hated being asked questions like that, sometimes it felt like the music you were writing didn’t even matter, all people wanted to know was who you’re fucking. 

“Not at the moment, no.” you forced a smile so you don’t seem rude.

“I thought I was special.” Hyunjin chimed in next to you, bumping his shoulder against yours, that shit eating grin you hate spreading on his face.

Before you could answer, Sarah butted in. 

“Oh, is there something happening between you that we should know about?”

You could just hear the excitement in her voice, the hunger for drama dripping from her lips. 

“Nothing is happening, we just like to joke around like that.” you quickly answered, hoping to deflect her to another question, or that she’d finally talk to Hyunjin and ask him about his new song, so you could take a few moments to breathe. 

“So, you two are close?”

Oh no. 

Here it goes again. 

Last time this happened, your name got dragged on every social media platform.

People who were shipping the two of you got on your nerves, but that wasn’t the biggest problem.

No, it was the people who had sent you hate and death threats, telling you if they saw you next to Hyunjin again you’d be dead. 

It took a toll on your mental health and scared you since you know people can easily find an address or stalk you somewhere and you wanted to avoid any rumors that would endanger your well-being. 

“We're just coworkers.” to your surprise Hyunjin answered nonchalantly, saying exactly what you wanted to say so people would leave you alone. 

Why was there a weird feeling in your chest then?

“Well, sometimes there’s passion at the workplace.” Sarah wasn’t giving it up and you were close to losing your temper and telling her to shove it already, ask some less invasive questions. 

“No passion here, our relationship is strictly professional.” you said, but your skin burned where Hyunjin’s thigh pressed against yours.

In your mind you were cursing both him and Sarah, and even your manager for bringing you here.

Thankfully, she left it at that, continuing with questions about your upcoming tour and Hyunjin’s new song. 

As soon as the interview finished and you were done shaking hands, Ana came to you, her hand on your shoulder as she squeezed. 

In the corner of your eye, you saw Hyunjin slip out of the room.

“Good job.” she smiled as Anthony joined the two of you. 

“I hope you’re hungry, y/n. This time it’s my treat, and there’s this restaurant…”

You tuned Anthony out, completely forgetting that after an interview like this, the tradition is to have dinner with Hyunjin and his manager. 

“Can we skip dinner this time? I just wanna go home and lay down.”

“Nonsense, I hear your stomach growling from here. Come on, it’s free food you can’t say no.” Anthony made a goofy face, hoping to win you over.

“Fine, you had me at free food.” you sighed as Ana nodded with a smile.

“Good! Now where is our other rockstar?” he quickly looked around. “I swear, sometimes I feel like I’m a babysitter, not a manager.”

“I’ll go find him.” you offered, wanting to leave the building as soon as possible.

“Sure.” Ana nodded and you made your way down the hall.

Your footsteps echoed in the empty space, until you came closer to a corner where the sounds of hushed voices and giggles filled up your ears and made you roll your eyes. 

“You know I can’t give you my number, baby. But if there is an empty room around here somewhere…” Hyunjin was talking to the girl from earlier, leaning over her body as she stared up at him like he was a god, her back against the wall.

You cleared your throat, crossing your arms on your chest. 

Both of them looked up at you, Hyunjin giving you a smirk as he straightened up and the girl glared at you but you didn’t give a shit. 

“We need to leave right now. Our managers are waiting for us.” you said simply as the girl whined. 

“Shh, maybe some other time.” he shushed her, leaning towards her and your stomach flipped in disgust. 

He didn’t kiss her, just taunted her before he leaned back and made his way towards you. 

“Cockblocker.” he stuck his tongue out, the piercing adorning it catching the light for a moment. 

“Do you even know her name?” you asked, keeping a fast pace and a good distance away from him.

“No. Does it matter?” he shrugged, his long legs quickly catching up to you in big strides.

“You’re despicable.” your face scrunched up in disgust as you neared the elevator where your managers were waiting and chatting. 

“Throwing some big words around. You sure you know the meaning?” he smirked.

“That’s it.” you said angrily.

“What? You just basically told me I deserve to be hated just cause I wanted to have some fun.” 

You looked at him, full on ready to slap him across his face but Ana stepped between the two of you. 

“Fighting again? Can the two of you behave for just one evening?” Anthony frowned with a sigh as he called the elevator. 

“I can behave.” Hyunjin clicked his tongue cheekily before playing with his lip ring again. 

“Y/n?” Ana looked at you. 

“As long as he doesn’t talk to me, I’ll be fine.” you turned away from Hyunjin, stepping into the elevator. 

This is going to be one awkward dinner. 

-

Choosing to disconnect in the van you put your earphones in, ignoring Hyunjin’s presence right next to you. 

It’s like your managers wanted to have you two as close as possible, like they thought it’d make you hate each other less but at this moment there was nothing more you wanted than to get away from him. 

Or maybe your managers wanted to be closer to each other, you smirked to yourself as Ana twirled her hair around her finger, giggling at something Anthony said. 

You leaned back as the music flooded your ears, your figure slightly turned towards the window as you watched the street lights pass you by, totally unaware of a pair of eyes that were glued to you.

Hyunjin observed you in detail, how shiny your hair was as it cascaded down your back and shoulders, how your brows were slightly creased and your lips pouty as you listened to your music, the steady rise and fall of your chest, the way your fingers played with the hem of your shirt as you pulled on it, how pretty the rings adorning your fingers were, how the necklace you always wore laid gently on your collarbone.

No little detail was skipped as he drinked it all in, thinking you wouldn’t notice. 

But after some time as it got even darker outside, you caught Hyunjin’s reflection in the window as he stared at you with a look on his face that you’ve never seen before. 

Your stomach suddenly swirled as the two of you made eye contact on the glass, Hyunjin’s plump lips falling open before he sat up and looked away, acting like nothing happened. 

The rest of the ride was uneventful and you were tired of this day, having to look at Hyunjin was more exhausting to you than being on stage.

You couldn’t wait to get into your bed and disappear. 

As you walked into the restaurant, you were led to a table and you could see a few people whispering and pointing at you but usually they didn’t bother you much. 

However, this time was different. 

As you scanned the menu, a girl timidly approached your table and you looked up at her as she stood next to Hyunjin. 

“I’m - I’m sorry to bother you but I’m a really big fan and I was wondering if you’d take a picture with me?” she asked Hyunjin who immediately smirked at her.

“No pictures allowed. But you can get his signature.” Anthony chimed in. 

“And who the fuck are you?” the girl changed her demeanor right away, making Hyunjin chuckle.

“Easy there, sweetheart, that’s my boss.” he wiggled his eyebrows at the girl. “Come on I’ll give you a sign and you can write me your number, maybe I’ll call you, hm?” Hyunjin winked at her and you just about lost your appetite completely.

“Oh, sure, I’d love that!” she let out a nasally laugh as he signed a napkin with a pen she somehow produced, giving it back to her as she leaned over to write her number down, making sure her tits were right in his face before she skipped back to her friends. 

“Can there be at least one minute when you’re not trying to fuck something that walks?” you looked at him annoyingly and he laughed.

“Thought you weren’t talking to me.” he smirked. 

“Ugh, you’re so annoying!” you were ready to smack him with the menu in your hand but Ana caught your wrist. 

“I bet you love that about me.” he kept smirking. 

“Love is nothing near what I feel about you.” you said, your teeth gritted.

“There’s a fine line between love and hate, you know.” Hyunjin smirked, leaning into your personal space. 

“Anyways, guys. What are you ordering? Their steak is really good.” Anthony gave an awkward smile as he looked around the table. 

“I want the tomato pasta.” Hyunjin leaned back, making you cackle.

“Isn’t that the kids menu? Makes sense for you somehow.” 

“I’m saving room for dessert.” he winked at you, his tongue running over his lip tentatively, the piercing on it catching the light again. 

“Ew.” you jolted in disgust as he laughed loudly, obviously finding enjoyment in ticking you off. 

The dinner part of the outing was uneventful as everyone ate and made small talk but you didn’t miss how Hyunjin crumpled up the napkin with the fan’s number and threw it aside on the table, not caring about it. 

What an asshole. 

“Let’s make a little toast to this evening and the upcoming albums and tour.” Ana proposed as she lifted her glass up. 

“To us.” Hyunjin smirked as he looked at you. 

“To rock’n’roll!” you added as the four of you clinked your glasses together before taking a big swig of your drinks.

Hyunjin didn’t look at you on the drive home. 

-

Rehearsal was supposed to start at 9am sharp, but you were there bright and early, tuning your guitar. 

Being an early bird, you loved the few moments of peace you could have to yourself, just you and your music. 

Your hand glided easily on the guitar’s neck, taking shapes familiar to your hands, it was muscle memory by now, your fingers picking on the strings and creating the melody you played countless times before. 

You let your voice ring out in the space freely as you sang a song dear to your heart, one you wrote when you were younger. 

You’d always start warming up by singing it to yourself, never having the need to actually put it out into the world. 

You got into it, your eyes closed as you sang with a small smile on your face, the entire world around you disappearing shortly. 

In the distance, you heard footsteps and voices belonging to your bandmates and just as you opened your eyes, you looked through the glass on the door, a shadow slithered across the wall outside, disappearing around the corner.  

You squinted your eyes and stood up, putting your guitar aside and coming closer to the door. 

Just as you were about to reach towards the doorknob, the voices got louder. 

“Are we seriously doing this right now?” Janey asked, the tone of her voice angry. 

“I’m telling you, it was nothing! I don’t know who she is and why she’s texting me!” Steph defended herself as Janey scoffed.

“I’m sick of your excuses. I’m gonna give you one last chance to make it up to me and be truthful, but after that I’m done.” you stepped back as Janey came into view, opening the door angrily.

“Oh, y/n.” she widened her eyes slightly. “Good morning.” she added, scurrying past you to take her place behind the drum kit. 

Steph walked in with a scowl on her face, muttering a ‘morning’ before going straight to her bass guitar. 

It wasn’t the first time they fought or even broke up.

There were many times you had to be the mediator between them, trying to get them to communicate and even though it was frustrating, you didn’t want them to give up on their relationship easily and you couldn’t really take sides since they were both your friends. 

“Shall we?” you asked and they nodded. 

It took some warming up as always but soon you got into the groove, rehearsing for a small performance that was happening tonight.

You were excited because during the performance you planned to reveal your new song and see how people like it in person. 

The only thorn in your eye was the fact that Hyunjin’s band will be there too, performing right after yours. 

You were dreading to see him again, since that interview last week you had managed to avoid him skilfully, but you couldn’t hide forever. 

And even though your rehearsal went somewhat smoothly, there was tension in the air and you didn’t like that feeling.

It felt like a storm was coming and you weren’t sure if you’re ready to take it on. 

-

Evening came around quickly, everyone was already gathered backstage and you were dressed and ready, having rehearsed once more on the stage, tuning your guitars and getting ready for the most fun part. 

You peered from the back, seeing all the people gathering made your heart swell, a smile spreading on your face automatically. 

“Quite a turn out, huh?” 

Your eye literally twitched when you heard Hyunjin’s voice behind you, too close for comfort as his figure loomed over you and you felt the warmth of his body on your back.

You turned your head slightly as he peered down at you with that annoying smirk you absolutely hate. 

“Of course.” you said, squeezing your body between him and the curtain, ignoring him calling after you as you walked away as fast as you could.

You’re not gonna let him ruin tonight for you. 

It was time to go on stage anyways.

You and your girls did a little cheer as tradition before the performance, Ana coming up to hug you and wish you good luck. 

“Break a leg.” Hyunjin appeared out of nowhere and you only rolled your eyes before whipping around and almost smacking him with your hair as you made your way towards the stage. 

As soon as you walked out, loud screams filled up your ears and everything negative was forgotten and locked away in a drawer in the back of your mind. 

“Are you ready to rock tonight?!” you screamed out into the mic as the three of you took your positions. 

Hyunjin watched you from the side with an unreadable look on his face, but you weren’t even aware of it and you didn’t care. 

All you cared about was this moment. 

The moment where you get to share your love for music with thousands of people. 

It was exhilarating, watching the mass of bodies sway like one, hearing all the people singing the lyrics you wrote in unison. 

Nothing could compare to this and every time you stood under that light, you knew you were born for this. 

Giddy from everything, you skipped backstage once you finished playing the last song; which happened to be the new one and people more than loved it judging by their excited screams. 

“That was amazing!” Ana met you halfway, giving high fives to all three of you.

You were still trying to catch your breath as you giggled, when Hyunjin appeared next to you again. 

“Aren’t you gonna wish me good luck?” he smirked at you, shamelessly giving you the elevator eyes. 

“Good luck guys!” Janey yelled at all four members with a smile and a thumbs up but Hyunjin shook his head. 

“I want her to say it or I’m not going out on stage.” he crossed his arms on his chest, pouting and tapping his foot like a child about to throw a tantrum. 

“Come on, Hyun, we need to get out there!” Aiden, the band’s bassist called out. 

“Not moving until y/n wishes me good luck.” he quickly shook his head, his fluffy hair shaking with it and you thought how he resembled a dog; in more ways than one. 

“Fine you spoiled brat. Good luck.” you said sarcastically and he scoffed. 

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he smirked, leaning into your personal space again. 

“Get on the stage, Hyunjin.” you sighed and he chuckled in delight. 

“Watch me closely.” he winked before running off. 

“I can just cut the tension in the air with a knife.” Steph smirked at you, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Oh, fuck off!” you said, smacking the back of her head as she cackled. 

You did end up watching Hyunjin’s band perform after refreshing yourself, but pretty soon you’ve come to regret that decision. 

He was wild while performing, stripping out of his jacket as he screamed into the mic, sweating under the bright lights pointed directly at him making him look like an insane glazed donut as he strutted around the stage acting all smug even though he tripped over his dumb long legs multiple times. 

He’d lean over towards his little groupies, holding their hand or caressing their faces, blowing them kisses and whatnot, all of that behavior making your gut churn in disgust. 

The last straw was when he laid down on his back and started humping the air while moaning into the mic. 

Even though the crowd screamed louder than before and the horny fans almost started hyperventilating, you felt second hand embarrassment at witnessing this. 

Hyunjin continued moaning before he threw his head back, his eyes locking with yours. 

A shiver ran down your spine as he smirked at you, all sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead, his piercings shining in the light, the veins on his neck visible and his cheeks red. 

A warmness spread in your navel as he winked, licking at his lip slowly, taunting you before he moaned extra loudly, the pornographic sound echoing in your ears. 

You frowned suddenly at your heart beating fast and your legs pressing together. 

What the fuck is wrong with me?, you thought, quickly shaking your head as he finally looked away from you and stood up. 

Of course, he got showered by multiple bras on stage, you think you even caught a glimpse of someone throwing their panties and you couldn’t watch anymore. 

It was truly disgusting. 

You quickly shoved past some staff members watching and gasping at whatever Hyunjin was doing now. 

Pushing past everyone, you made your way outside to get some fresh air in the hidden area behind backstage, where staff and musicians usually smoked or chilled after a performance. 

You greeted some of the staff before finding a spot where you could be alone. 

You were about to relax when you heard kissing sounds and as you turned to look around the corner you saw Steph kissing some random girl. 

You couldn’t contain the gasp that flew out of your mouth, making them jolt away from each other. 

Steph’s eyes widened when she saw you and you quickly spun around, noticing Janey had just walked outside too and started looking around. 

“Y/n, wait!” Steph yelled behind you. “It’s not what you think! Please, don’t tell Janey!” she looked at you desperately but you hated cheaters more than anything, seeing her betrayal with your own eyes broke any sort of connection you had with her. 

“Isn’t it? Your tongue was down some girl’s throat. Now, what do you call that?” you scoffed.

“What?” Janey appeared next to you, just as the girl who Steph was kissing before stood behind her. 

“It’s not like that, I-”

You could see Janey’s eyes filling up with tears. 

“That’s it, I’m done. With you and with the band. With everything.” you gasped when she said that, your eyes wide. 

“Janey, don’t be like that, it didn’t mean anything to me-” Steph started.

“Liar, you told me you’d leave her for me.” the girl behind Steph chimed in. 

“Oh, so this has been going on for some time?” Janey looked between Steph and the girl. 

“Let’s talk about this inside.” you tried to lead them in as people were whispering and looking at the four of you. 

“I have nothing else to say. I’m sorry, y/n. I can’t be a part of this band anymore when all it’s gonna do is remind me of this cheating whore.” Janey spat before turning around and leaving. 

“Okay, I deserve that but like I’m sorry that-”

“Save it, Steph. I can’t believe you did this. You put your desires over the well-being of our band. You do understand that your actions not only affect Janey, but also me, Ana and the rest of the record company?” you asked her, your blood boiling with anger. 

“I- I’m sorry, let me make it right. I’ll talk to Janey and she’ll forgive me once she understands-” 

“You think I want you to be part of the band after this? That’s rich.” you turned around too, in hopes of finding Janey. 

“Y/n, you can’t throw me out of the band!” Steph yelled behind you. 

“I just did.” you said coldly before opening the door and rushing into the backstage room. 

“Is Janey here?” you asked Ana and before she could answer, someone bumped into you rather strongly, making you stumble backwards a little.

You turned around angrily, noticing a very sweaty and breathless Hyunjin staring at you with a smile, his tongue lolling out of his lips as he played with his piercing. 

“So, did you like my performance?” he winked at you. “Did it get you excited?” the famous shit eating grin spread on his face as he leaned in closer to you, a few droplets of sweat dripping from his hair.

“I don’t have time for your games, Hyunjin. Please leave me alone.” you said annoyingly, noticing he had a bra hooked around his hand.

“What’s going on?” Ana asked, looking at you confusedly.

You were shaken up, the anger you felt manifesting into tears and you cursed yourself for being so emotional and quick to cry. 

“Woah, you’re crying!” Hyunjin stepped even closer to you but you’ve had enough of him. 

“Get away from me, asshole!” you channeled all your anger his way as you pressed your hands on his chest, pushing him away. 

Hyunjin stumbled with a gasp, a shocked look on his face. 

“What the hell is happening here?” Anthony quickly came to Hyunjin’s side as his bandmates watched everything unfold. 

“Ana, can we talk in private?” you glared once more at Hyunjin and she quickly nodded, hooking her arm with yours and taking you away from the scene. 

Hyunjin watched your figure disappear out of view with a deep frown on his face. 

-

It’s been a dreadful week.

You’ve tried talking to Janey multiple times, begging her to come back, promising to her that you wouldn’t let Steph come anywhere near her. 

Sadly, Janey was insistent on not wanting to continue with the band since lots of the songs were written by her and her now ex girlfriend who betrayed her in such an ugly way. 

You talked to Ana almost every day on the phone but you weren’t up for any visits, choosing instead to wallow in your sadness. 

Your band fell apart, your friends were no longer together, your album couldn’t be published and people were speculating, spreading rumors, you were getting numerous curious comments asking what happened to Venus Flytrap. 

You had no idea what to do at that moment. 

You just needed some time to yourself to figure out what your next step should be. 

You were lounging in your bed when your phone buzzed for the hundredth time.

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed it and saw that you had a text message from an unknown number. 

???: hey there pretty girl! don’t be so sad! there are worse things than your band falling apart. 

you: what, like death? and who is this? 

???: your favorite person in the whole world<3 

you: hyunjin?? 

???: aw i knew i was your favorite!

You started seething immediately as you sat up, your heart beating fast instantly as you worked yourself up into annoyance.

You quickly put his contact under ‘asshole’. 

you: no, i knew that a conceited answer like that can only come from an asshole like you.

you: now, what do you want?

asshole: did you save my contact as asshole? or dickhead? which one is it?

you: wouldn’t you like to know. seriously what the hell do you want. i’ll block you if you don’t get on with it

asshole: just wanted to see if you maybe want to talk to someone

you: if i did, i wouldn’t choose you. have a nice day away from me hyunjin

Hyunjin didn’t answer your last text, instead he left you on read and you tossed your phone across your bed, now feeling even more infuriated than before. 

You squinted your eyes, grabbing your phone again and texting Ana.

you: did you give my number to hyunjin??

Ana: i’m sorry! he wouldn’t stop bugging me about it! pls don’t be mad

Just great. 

Why is he insisting on annoying you even when you feel down in the dumps, you thought, he always has to come in and make you feel even more mad. 

You were hoping that with your last text he’d finally leave you alone.

You also hoped you wouldn’t be seeing him any time soon.

But boy, you couldn’t be more wrong.

-

“What?!” you yelled so loudly that it echoed off of the office walls.

“Y/n, please we don’t know any other solution. Lycoris Radiata is going to tour in 4 days and you’re the only person who knows their songs by heart. You can also kick ass with drums. And well, you’re kinda free now.” Anthony grimaced. 

“You can’t do this to me. I can’t spend so much time with Hwang Hyunjin!” you whined like a child, kicking your legs under the table as Ana gave you an apologetic look.

“Gossiping about me?” Hyunjin strolled in, with that annoying smirk, his hair in a little ponytail, showing more of his ear piercings and his sharp jawline. 

He took off his leather jacket, throwing it haphazardly on the chair before he plopped down into it. 

He spun around in the chair to face you as you looked at him with a scowl on your face.

Brendon, his guitarist and Aiden joined the meeting right after that.

“So, ready to be my new drummer?” Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows at you.

“Not a chance in hell.” 

“Y/n, please, we have no other choice! Phil had to leave so suddenly due to his sickness. We couldn’t be prepared for something like that. We can’t afford to postpone the tour now.” Brendon pleaded as Aiden nodded next to him. 

You leaned back into the chair, pursing your lips as you gave it a thought.

Of course they’d choose you. 

You knew their songs by heart since you shared so many tours together but you had your own bus and mostly ran into Hyunjin either backstage or at an afterparty but if you would become a part of his band you’d spend most of your time with him. 

But this could be good for you to give yourself time to decide what you wanna do next while touring with Lycoris Radiata. 

And since you were a multi instrumentalist, playing the drums wouldn’t be a problem for you.

You smirked suddenly before tilting your head at Hyunjin. 

“Fine. I will tour with you under one condition.” you said. 

“Anything!” Anthony piped in but you kept staring at Hyunjin. 

“I want you to beg.” your smirk deepened and Hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly, his fingers twitching against his thighs. 

“What?” he blinked repeatedly and you chuckled under your breath. 

“Beg me to join your band or I’m not doing it.” 

Hyunjin’s lips opened and closed a few times before he frowned.

“I don’t beg. I demand.” he smirked, taunting you.

“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re in no position to have demands. However, I am. So if I want you to beg, Hyunjin, you’re gonna beg.” you sat up straight as he looked at you in pure shock. 

“My, my darling. I didn’t know you were this commanding. I kinda dig that.” he wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Any day now.” you were ready to stand up and leave. 

The room was eerily silent and Brendon opened his lips to speak up but Anthony grabbed his wrist and quickly shook his head. 

You could see the gears turning in Hyunjin’s head as he stared at you, and slowly but surely his cheeks became red as he closed his eyes in frustration.

“Pretty please, join my band and come on tour with us?” he said, rather quickly and you tsked. 

“Not convincing enough.” you enjoyed having the upper hand, the roles reversed as you pushed Hyunjin’s buttons. 

“What do you want me to do?! Kneel at your feet?” he whined.

“Maybe.” you shrugged. 

“Unbelievable! I’m the one doing you a favor anyways.” Hyunjin said, clearly annoyed and you were reveling in it. 

You wanted him to get the taste of his own medicine.

“Is that so?” you raised your eyebrow as he breathed hard. 

“Yes, your band is as good as dead right now, just like your career.” he said with a smug smirk, making everyone gasp. 

“Hyunjin!” Aiden scolded him and you stood up, feeling your eyes water as you lifted your hand, your palm colliding with Hyunjin’s cheek. 

The force of your slap turned his head right and he grabbed at his cheek immediately, his eyes wide, his face becoming red quickly.

“Fuck you!” you said angrily before turning around and leaving the room as tears started sliding down your cheeks. 

“Now look at what you did!” Anthony was mad and Hyunjin shrugged with a frown, realizing quickly that maybe he did cross a line.

“How could you say something like that to y/n?” Brendon asked, and Hyunjin looked at them, feeling dejected suddenly as he rubbed at his cheek. 

There was strength in your hands, that he was sure of. 

“I fucked up, okay! I didn’t mean to say that.” he shook his head. “I will make this right.” Hyunjin added, standing up. 

“Dude, I think you’re the last person y/n wants to see right now.” Aiden said. 

“But I have to apologize to her.” Hyunjin chewed on his lip, playing with his piercing as a nervous habit.

“I’ll go with you then.” Aiden nodded, standing up as well. 

“Fine.” Hyunjin sighed. 

You sat in the swinging chair on one of the many balconies of the building, letting your tears slip down your cheeks as the wind picked up, making you shiver. 

Hyunjin and Aiden found you pretty quickly and before Aiden could follow him to the balcony, Hyunjin smacked his hand on Aiden’s chest. 

“Please, just wait here.” 

“Fine, but if you provoke her again, I’m coming in.” Aiden sighed, shaking his head. 

The door of the balcony opened and in the corner of your eye you saw Hyunjin’s combat boots and his leather pants. 

“Go away.” you said quietly, sniffling and turning away from him.

Hyunjin stood frozen for a moment, holding his jacket in his hand and you took that time to quickly wipe away your tears. 

You didn’t want to look weak in front of your enemy. 

Footsteps approached and suddenly you felt a weight on your shoulders and back. 

You looked down, realizing that Hyunjin had put his jacket around you and it smelled like cigarettes mixed with cologne he always wears and something distinctly him. 

You took a deep breath and for some reason, calmness settled all over your body. 

“I’m really sorry for what I said back there. It was way out of line.”

You didn’t say anything, still refusing to look at him. 

“And I’m sorry about your band. I know that must be hard to go through. I feel bad that my drummer had to leave, I don’t know how I’d feel if-”

“Are you done?” you turned to look at him and his lips pressed together. 

“I don’t care how you feel, Hyunjin. Just like you didn’t care about hurting me moments ago.” you stood up, ready to throw his jacket away. 

“Well, I apologized!” he threw his hands up, rolling his eyes. “Though, I’m glad I have that effect on you, I didn’t know you cared so much about what I think or say.” he smirked suddenly. 

You were tempted to slap his other cheek at that moment, and Aiden must’ve sensed it so he walked out to the balcony. 

“Are we okay?” he asked, gulping. 

“Not until he apologizes properly.” you crossed your arms with a smirk, and he knew exactly what you meant.

“Ugh! This is the first and last time I get on my knees for you.” Hyunjin said annoyingly as he kneeled down and you chuckled in delight. 

“I’m sorry for being an asshole and if you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I’d be honored for you to join my band.” he batted his eyelashes at you. 

“Mm…” you pursed your lips, acting like you were contemplating it as he rolled his eyes again. 

“Fine. I accept.” you shrugged and Hyunjin stood up quickly with a smile.

“Welcome to the band, sweetheart!” he smirked, opening his arms for a hug and you quickly dodged under his arm and slithered away. 

“You’re welcome.” you smirked back, grabbing his jacket and throwing it at him.

He caught it just as you walked back into the hallway, grinning to himself as you walked away. 

“She wants me so bad.” Hyunjin said as Aiden’s eyebrows lifted comically. 

“I think she wants to kill you.” he said and Hyunjin chuckled, smacking Aiden’s shoulder and grabbing him. 

“I know what chicks like, okay?” 

“You also know that y/n isn’t one of your little groupies?” Aiden sighed.

“I know, don’t worry. She’s special.” Hyunjin smiled, hugging his jacket to his chest, getting a whiff of your perfume that stayed on it.

Aiden shook his head with a chuckle. 

This is gonna be one hell of a tour. 

-

The party was in full swing. 

That morning you had packed for the tour, your stomach swirling with nerves so much that you thought you’d throw up. 

You were actually going on tour with Lycoris Radiata, for at least six months. 

A lot can happen in that amount of time and while you were nervous to spend so much time with the infuriating and annoying asshole aka Hwang Hyunjin, you were also excited for the new experience and the places you’ll get to see.

Of course, you couldn’t leave without attending a ‘have an amazing tour’ party that was mostly exclusive only for staff and a few other people. 

You were on your second glass of beer as you sat at the bar, the cold bitter liquid not calming you down as it should. 

Hyunjin was having a jolly old time, entertaining some girls of course and if you had rolled your eyes any harder, they’d get stuck in the back of your head. 

“Don’t take that to heart.” Aiden suddenly appeared next to you.

“What?” you chuckled awkwardly, shaking away your thoughts.

“Hyunjin flirting like that. He’s a lot of talk, more than anything else.”

“Why would I care if he flirts with some random girls?” you frowned. “It’s none of my business.”

“Right.” Aiden pursed his lips. “Well, I’m gonna go find Anthony.”

“Sure.” you shrugged, your eyes flying back to Hyunjin and the girls who were salivating all over him. 

He was showing them his biceps and they were touching him like they’ve never seen a human arm in their life. 

You scoffed, shaking your head when a voice behind you startled you. 

“Now, why is a pretty lady such as yourself sitting all alone?” 

You turned around with your eyebrow lifted, coming face to face with a stranger. 

“Because it’s her choice.” you answered.

“Oh, feisty and pretty? That’s a fun combo.” the guy smirked, his arm leaning on your chair, almost hugging your waist as he got closer to you. 

Your nose scrunched up, he smelled of alcohol and you really wanted him to leave you alone. 

“I’m pretty boring, trust me.” you said.

“Oh, I don’t believe that. In fact, I think if you were to let me take you home tonight, you and I could have so much fun.” he smirked and you were pretty sure you barfed in your mouth a little.

“No, thank you.” you said sarcastically. 

He chuckled, placing his arms around you.

You were completely unaware of Hyunjin who was keeping an eye on you and the suspicious guy. 

As soon as the man placed his hands on you, Hyunjin pushed the girl he was talking to aside, his heavy combat boots taking him right to you and the disturbance in your personal space.

“I don’t really take no for an answer.” he said and your heart sank momentarily. 

“Back off man!” you tried to push him away but he wasn’t budging.

Suddenly the guy was ripped away from you with such force that it pulled you to your feet.

You grabbed at the bar to steady yourself and gasped just in time to see Hyunjin swinging his fist at the man. 

“Oh my god!” you almost screamed, your eyes wide as the guy fell to the floor instantly. 

People quickly gathered around and Anthony was trying to push them away so he could grab Hyunjin. 

“The lady said no, you fucking dirtbag!” Hyunjin said, swinging at the man again. 

“Oh my god, Hyunjin! Stop, it’s okay, please!” you panicked, never seeing him this angry or violent. 

“Hwang! Enough!” Anthony yelled, grabbing Hyunjin’s arms and lifting him up as he fought against his manager, still trying to punch the man who was now laying on the floor with his face completely bloody. 

You kept looking at Hyunjin with a shocked expression as he breathed hard, his face red and sweaty from anger, the veins on his neck and forehead popping out.

“I stopped, now let me go.” he said through his teeth as someone lifted up the unconscious guy.

“Hyunjin, if this gets out to the press it could turn into a fucking shitstorm! What the hell is wrong with you?!” Anthony yelled angrily as Hyunjin stood with his fists still clenched. 

“He made y/n uncomfortable and he deserved it.” Hyunjin answered before turning towards you. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes softening as you stared at him in disbelief.

“I-I’m fine.”

“Good. I’m done with this party.” Hyunjin said, turning on his heel and grabbing his jacket before he walked out, leaving you standing there still trying to process what the hell just happened.

-

You were half asleep when Ana drove you to the tour bus. 

You barely slept last night, tossing and turning in your bed as the images of Hyunjin punching that guy from the party kept swimming in your head. 

Never has a man defended you like that and you’ve never seen Hyunjin look so livid before. 

He was usually either smirking, laughing or being a menace, ready to always annoy you but you’ve never seen him actually angry.

It was kind of… hot, you thought before shaking it off.

You wondered why he reacted like that.

“You okay?” Ana snapped you out of your vegetative state as you sank in the passenger seat, arms crossed and hood over your head. 

“Hm? Yeah, just sleepy.” you sat up and looked around. 

The sun wasn’t even up yet. 

“You can continue sleeping on the tour bus. We’re here.” she chuckled. 

“Oh, goody.” you sighed before opening the door and walking out.

“Morning, ladies.” Anthony all but ran up to Ana, helping her with yours and her bags since she’d be joining you too. 

“Morning? It’s still night.” you checked your phone, seeing it was 4:13am. 

“Not where I come from. You see-” Anthony started.

“Okay, I’m too asleep to listen to this.” you shook your head before strolling towards the bus. 

You were about to just climb in and go straight to the nearest bed you could find but you heard some quiet music coming from behind the back of the bus. 

You approached slowly and peeked around to see Hyunjin leaning on the wall, smoking and listening to some quiet music. 

He looked up instantly, seeming like a deer caught in headlights for a short moment. 

“Remembered to put on a jacket?” he smirked. 

“Ha ha. Very funny.” you said and he shrugged, looking away and turning the music off. 

As he brought his cigarette to his lips, you noticed his knuckles were red and injured. 

“I guess I should thank you for last night.” you said quietly, swinging on your feet awkwardly as you dug your hands in your pockets. 

“It was nothing.” he shook his head quickly. 

“I wouldn’t call that nothing.” you motioned to his hand. 

“This?” he looked at his hand and chuckled. “You should see the other guy.” he winked at you, making you roll your eyes. 

“Clever.” 

“Come to think of it, it does hurt a bit. Wanna kiss it better?” Hyunjin smirked, puffing the smoke out. 

“Bite me.” you gave him the middle finger as he laughed, the sound ringing out in the quiet early hours.

“I might. If you ask nicely.” he said with that smug expression of his.

“I’m going inside.” you shivered, realizing how cold it actually was, ignoring his witty quips. 

“I’m right behind ya.” he threw his cigarette on the floor before stepping on it. 

Your heart started beating fast out of nowhere as his heavy boots stomped behind you, the sound escorting you to the entrance of the bus. 

“Oh wow.” your eyes widened as you looked around the living/kitchen area. 

“You like?” Hyunjin leaned over your shoulder and you jolted away from him, making him snicker. 

“Yeah, it’s… not what I expected. It looks more cozy than I thought it would.” you nodded.

“You should thank the interior designer.” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“And who might that be?” you asked, making your way to the bunk bed area. 

“Oh, just a guy. He takes payment in kisses.” Hyunjin bumped into you as you stopped. 

“Is that guy maybe you?” you turned around, not realizing immediately just how close Hyunjin was to you. 

“Maybe it is.” he leaned towards you with a smirk and you squealed a little, stepping away from him.

“Give it up. I’m taking the top bunk bed.” you pointed to the left side. 

“Not fair! I always take that one!” Hyunjin pouted.

“Tough luck, I called it first.” you smirked, taking off your jacket and throwing it up on the bed. 

“Or… we can both sleep up there?” Hyunjin said and you scoffed, pushing him away. 

“Like hell!” 

“Are y’all fighting this early?” Brendon came in, looking confused and disheveled. 

“No, it’s foreplay.” Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows and you made gagging noises. 

“Here’s your bag, y/n.” Ana appeared with your luggage. 

Aiden and Anthony came in after and everyone took some time to unpack and get settled. 

“I heard we have two pretty ladies with us, so you fellas gotta behave now.” you heard an unknown voice and leaned over to see who it belonged to.

“Oh, we always behave, Stu.” Hyunjin smirked. 

“Yes, especially you.” the man, Stu, rolled his eyes. 

“This is our main driver Stu.” Aiden introduced you and Ana to him. 

“Pleasure to meet you ladies. Hopefully the road won’t be too bumpy.” he winked before turning around and leaving. 

“Where is Bradley?” Anthony piped in suddenly.

“Who’s Bradley?” you asked, at this moment you just wanted to get everything over with and catch up on some sleep.

“Our sound guy.” Brendon answered. “And lights guy. He is underpaid and overworked, basically.” he added, giving Anthony a pointed look. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault Mike quit!” he lifted his hands up. “Besides, we’re picking someone up in the next town over. He’ll be our roadie along with Bradley.” 

As they started discussing, you slipped away to the bathroom, where you could change in peace and get ready for bed. 

You leaned on the counter, staring at yourself in the mirror as you listened to the muffled voices talking. 

Were you doing the right thing? 

Accepting to join another band when your heart still hurts from the sudden falling apart between your friends and band members… 

“Y/n, I need the bathroom!” Hyunjin’s voice brought you back to reality and you stood up straight. 

“I’m not done yet!” you yelled back. “You have another bathroom!” you added annoyingly, preparing to brush your teeth. 

“Aiden hogged it. Are you naked or something? Cause I swear I don’t mind.” 

You could just hear the smirk in his voice. 

Rolling your eyes, you opened the door and Hyunjin gave you the elevator eyes and they lingered on your legs in the shorts you put on, going up to your chest and lingering again before he looked up at your face. 

He was playing with his lip ring again, his cheeks rosy. 

“What do you want?” you spat.

“Just wanna brush my teeth.” he looked at you smugly. 

You didn’t say anything, just stepped aside and continued brushing your teeth. 

You opted to leave the door opened since it felt awkward to have them closed. 

“Isn’t this fun, us brushing our teeth together? It’s kinda domestic, don’t you think?” Hyunjin said suddenly, the familiar smirk on his face. 

“Yes, thrilling.” you answered sarcastically. “You don’t have to act nice, Hyunjin. Everyone knows we hate each other so let’s just not talk too much and try to coexist peacefully for the sake of everyone else on this tour.”

Hyunjin opened his mouth to answer but you quickly turned around and left, not wanting to get into it with him when you were tired and nervous. 

He smirked to himself, shaking his head. 

The only thing stuck in his brain at that moment was the way you said his name. 

God, he loved it. 

-

You slept for a few hours only, waking up early yet again as the bus rolled to a stop at a diner. 

“Rise and shine, princess.” Hyunjin’s head popped up in front of you as he held onto your bed.

“Fuck off.” you grabbed your pillow and smacked him with it, almost making him fall down but he managed to land on his feet. 

You heard a smack and Hyunjin saying ‘ow’ quietly before Aiden said,

“Come down if you’re hungry.” 

You chuckled to yourself, waiting for them to leave so you could get ready.

Of course, as soon as you sat down in a booth, Hyunjin pushed Brendon aside and quickly slid next to you. 

“Oh my god.” you rolled your eyes. 

You were squished between him and Ana on your other side, and he was too close for comfort. 

You could feel the heat of his body and smell the scent of his shampoo and body wash mixed with cigarettes. 

You tried to ignore the feelings stirring in your gut as you ordered.

“So, how did you like sleeping on top of me?” Hyunjin smirked, tilting his head. 

“Not as much as you liked sleeping under me, weirdo.” you scoffed at him and he chuckled.

“I liked it very much, so that must mean you liked it at least a little.” he said as the food arrived and your stomach growled. 

“Whatever you say.” you brushed him off and started to dig in. 

“We’re close to our first destination.” Anthony started after a sip of coffee. “We will arrive around 4pm and have lunch, then we get ready and do the soundcheck. Questions?”

Everyone shook their heads no. 

You suddenly felt nervous tingles running up your spine, and for some reason Hyunjin felt it. 

“Don’t worry princess, you’ll do great.” he smirked, placing his hand on top of your wrist. 

You snatched your hand away and looked at him. 

“I know I will, I was just wondering if you’ll be able to keep up with me.” you smirked back at him. 

“You’ll be surprised at how well I can keep up, baby.” Hyunjin leaned into your personal space, his eyes boring into yours and you felt your cheeks burning.

“Be nice, you two.” Ana chuckled.

“What? I haven't called him an asshole yet. Emphasis on yet.” 

Hyunjin laughed next to you, his arm brushing against yours.

Oh, he is so going to enjoy this.

-

It was such a good, familiar feeling to sit behind a drum kit after being the main vocalist and guitarist of your band for so long. 

The venue was empty at this moment and the sound of the drums echoing in the space was grand. 

You closed your eyes and started playing a groove to get into the mood and Hyunjin was lured towards the stage instantly. 

He watched you in awe even though he saw you play the drums before, they never had the name of his band on the front of them. 

Hyunjin felt proud; that his band has come so far and honored that you were now a part of their story. 

He hoped you’d enjoy the tour and judging by the blissful look on your face, you were off to a good start. 

“Let’s go, Hyun.” Brendon smacked his shoulder, pulling him back to reality. 

It was time for the soundcheck, and when everyone was finally on stage, tuning their instruments, you realized that this is real. 

Excitement replaced any nerves you had and you were ready to tear the stage apart. 

“Let’s jam a little.” Aiden smiled as everyone agreed.

He started to play a melody on his bass so you followed him with the drums.

You were so focused on grooving that you didn’t notice Hyunjin winking at his two other band members.

When it was time for him to start playing his guitar, Hyunjin decided to play totally out of tune. 

You looked up at him with your brows furrowed as you tried to follow him.

He changed it up suddenly, that familiar shit eating grin spreading on his face as you followed him yet again. 

Brendon and Aiden stopped playing as they observed the two of you, battling it out with your instruments. 

Hyunjin was trying hard to get on your nerves, push your buttons but you weren’t gonna let him in. 

“Having some trouble following, princess?” he yelled over the noise. 

You looked at him pointedly as he started to play another melody that made no sense and you’ve had enough. 

Hyunjin had a way of getting under your skin and he obviously knew that. 

Your arm lifted up on its own accord and you swung one of your drumsticks right at Hyunjin, aiming for his empty head. 

His eyes widened and he managed to dodge it in a close second as the drumstick clattered on the floor. 

“Ha! Attempted murder! Y’all saw that!” he pointed at you, while looking at his friends and you started laughing. 

“Don’t worry, even if it did hit your head, it couldn’t damage it more than it already is.” you smirked as Hyunjin huffed. 

“Oh baby, keep talking. Degradation is my thing.” he motioned towards his ear with his fingers and you made a disgusted face at him. 

Of course, the asshole laughed at your expression. 

“Guys, can we actually practice?” Brendon chimed in as Aiden nodded. 

Instead of answering verbally, you started playing so everyone joined in. 

-

“Are you nervous?” Aiden asked as the venue filled up and it all became real.

“Nope, I’m ecstatic!” you answered, twirling your drumstick in your hand. 

“Trying to murder me once again?” Hyunjin appeared next to you as you almost hit him with it.

“Trust me, if I was trying to kill you, you’d already be dead.” 

“Nobody’s killing anyone, we’re already short on staff.” Anthony smirked before putting his arms around Hyunjin and Brendon’s shoulders. 

“Good luck guys! And y/n, of course. I know y’all will do great.” Anthony smiled. 

Ana came up to you to hug you. 

“Good luck, babe!” she smiled. 

“Thank you.” you gave her a bone crushing hug, she was always like a sister to you and having her here now meant a lot to you. 

As soon as you walked out on stage, the screams of all the people that came to see you perform were deafening but heartwarming. 

Hyunjin was the main character on stage, that you were convinced of as whatever he did resulted in even louder screaming. 

You didn’t mind being the backbone of the band, playing drums to you was a meditative and transcending experience and anything you were angry or upset about, you could take it out while playing. 

Performing with Lycoris Radiata was fun as fuck, even more than you hoped for; seeing Hyunjin up close made you realize just why people loved him so much. 

He was charismatic, cool and lame at the same time, ethereally beautiful and down to earth, fun but sensitive, alluring but cute, he gave his all and more. 

He was everything wrapped up in one and you wondered how that was possible. 

A particular moment struck you; when you were playing a slower song, Hyunjin sang so delicately, his back turned to you as the lights beamed down on his frame, his sweaty hair and skin making him look like he was glowing. 

Your heart skipped a beat but you ignored it. 

Near the end of the show, Hyunjin did his usual routine which consisted of making everyone’s panties wet; it was time for the sex song he always sang near the end which made you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable but something about being on stage with them got you in the right mood for it.

The part came up; and Hyunjin was on the floor, moaning and humping the air as you followed his moans with the heavy sound of your drums. 

Hyunjin smirked, throwing his head back to look at you as he continued his ministrations and you continued following him on the drums. 

Aiden and Brendon joined in as Hyunjin became louder, resulting in you hitting the drums harder as the sounds all came together in a crescendo. 

You wished that you could press your thighs together to create pressure and friction because the whole thing managed to get you wet too. 

A part of you felt ashamed but you didn’t give a flying fuck in that moment, completely letting go of everything as the four of you continued jamming together. 

Hyunjin stood up with the biggest smile on his face, winking at you as he ran a lap around the stage before literally diving into the audience. 

You gasped to yourself but continued playing the outro to the performance while Hyunjin was being groped by horny fanboys and fangirls. 

Security was there to pull him back up on stage safely and Hyunjin sang the end of the song before screaming a ‘thank you’ into the mic. 

After all four of you bowed a hundred times, you finally ran backstage where a very sweaty Hyunjin started hugging everyone, eventually coming up to you. 

“Don’t even think about it.” you said as he opened his arms. 

“Not thinking, just doing it.” he smirked and before you could run away, his arms wrapped around you and he pulled you into his body. 

“Ew!” you squirmed against him and he chuckled. 

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.” he held you tighter and your heart leaped out of your chest. 

The bastard smelled so good even after sweating so much and it annoyed you how seemingly perfect he was. 

“What, a gross sweaty man slobbering all over me?” you scrunched up your face as you finally pushed him away.

“I wasn’t slobbering but if you’re into that-”

“Please shut up while I’m still in a good mood.” you stopped him and he laughed. 

“It’s so fun messing with you, darling.” Hyunjin ruffled your hair as you practically hissed at him, making him laugh again. 

“You guys were fucking amazing!” Anthony yelled excitedly. 

“I don’t know about you but I need some food.” Aiden piped in. 

“I’m feeling thirsty, honestly.” Brendon added.

“Are we partying or what?” Hyunjin smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Hell yeah, we are!” Anthony high-fived him. 

You ended up having the afterparty in the bus, ordering some food and acquiring some beer as you sat around in the living space. 

Of course, as soon as you walked in, you ran for the shower, with Hyunjin cascading behind you and asking if he could join you because “it’ll be done faster”. 

“Dream about it, asshole!” you yelled before closing the bathroom door. 

“Oh, I do.” Hyunjin smirked to himself, but you didn’t hear him. 

The excitement of the performance slowly washed away from your body along with Hyunjin’s scent that lingered after he hugged you, and you felt happy and cozy. 

All of you finally settled down to eat and Hyunjin claimed the spot next to you, of course, his long slender fingers stealing your fries constantly.

“Will you back off! You have your own fries.” you slapped his arm as he whined. 

“Yours are tastier.” he claimed with that familiar smirk of his.

“Are they now?” you smirked back. 

“Mhm.” he nodded pointedly.

“Let’s see then.” you grabbed your box and dumped all your fries into his box before mixing them up. “Pick one up and distinguish if it’s from your box or mine.”

Hyunjin stared at you with his lips parted before he smiled. 

“Aw, we’re sharing.” he said and continued eating as you heard some chuckles around the table. 

“For fucks sake.” you muttered, shaking your head.

The rest of the night was full of chatter and laughter, and you didn’t mind Hyunjin’s arm or leg brushing against you ever so often, or his loud laughter ringing in your ears or him constantly poking at you. 

It’s barely been one day on tour and he wasn’t as unbearable as you thought he’d be. 

Everyone was tired and you had to hit the road so it was finally peaceful, before a loud scream startled everyone.

“Oh no, I am going to die!” Hyunjin wailed dramatically.

“What’s wrong with him?” you rolled your eyes as Aiden came in. 

“He lost his teddy bear.” 

“He what?” you chuckled in disbelief.

“Hyunjin’s teddy, he always takes it with him. He’s had it since he was a baby and he’s convinced it brings him luck.” Aiden shrugged and Hyunjin ran into the living area.

“We are doomed!” he said, grabbing your arms and shaking you. 

“Calm down, it must be around here somewhere.” you sighed.

“Help me look?” Hyunjin batted his eyelashes at you as Aiden slipped away.

“Hyunjin, I’m tired, I need to get some sleep.” you whined. 

“Me too! But I can’t sleep without my teddy.” he said, you couldn’t believe he was serious. “I will crawl up to your bunk and annoy you all night if you don’t help me look.” he added, smirking.

“Fine, I’ll help you.” you rolled your eyes.

“Wow, you don’t want me in your bed at all?” he kept smirking. 

“Zip it. Let’s find your precious teddy.”

“Yes!” Hyunjin scurried after you as the two of you basically did a search and rescue mission for his favorite plush. 

Eventually, you walked into the other bathroom, finding the old teddy sitting on the counter.

“There you are.” you picked up, chuckling at the state of it. 

You couldn’t help it as you sniffed the teddy and sure enough it smelled just like its owner. 

“Found it!” you yelled and Hyunjin bursted in, panting and smiling. 

“Oh my god!” he exclaimed, grabbing the teddy and then you as he enveloped you in a hug for the second time that night. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Hyunjin held you tightly and you chuckled. 

“Alright, you’re thankful, I get it. You can let go now.” you said, patting his back. 

“I owe you.” he muttered.

“I really didn’t do anything.” 

“You did, trust me.” he smiled. 

As you laid in your bunk bed that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about Hyunjin. 

He seemed somehow different or you were just now seeing different sides of him that you didn’t see before. 

You didn’t hate him completely. 

-

Ten days on tour and things were going great. 

Every show was better than the last one, every venue bigger than the last one, every note played made Lycoris Radiata mean more and more to you. 

Tonight was no exception as you ripped the stage once again, this time Hyunjin ended up lifting Aiden and spinning him at the end which almost made the poor man throw up from excitement. 

“This was Lycoris Radiata, see you next time!” and with that you ran backstage where Hyunjin had to hug everyone, even asking for a group hug. 

You had to humor him. 

When your head finally hit the pillow, you couldn’t sleep even though you were exhausted. 

You kept replaying one particular moment from the show in your head. 

It was while Hyunjin was singing his famous sex song, before the moaning part, he came up to you and sang while looking at you. 

You kept playing and looking at him intently as he sang the lewd lyrics right into your face. 

Before he took off, Hyunjin lifted his hand, making a V shape with his fingers, doing the licking motion between them, his tongue piercing shining in the big stage light. 

Your mouth fell agape for a moment as you felt hotness spread all over your body and he smirked smugly when you made a tiny mistake in your playing. 

People didn’t notice but he did. 

And he was satisfied with it. 

You couldn’t stop thinking about it, and it had been a while since you’ve had a little ‘you time’ but it was hard to do that with so many people in the bus. 

Your eyes fluttered closed and you sighed, hearing some shuffling beneath you. 

“Y/n?” Hyunjin suddenly climbed up into your bed, startling you as you sat up and turned on the little light inside. 

“W-what are you doing?” 

“I can’t sleep. And I figured you weren’t sleeping either.” Hyunjin whispered.

“And how did you figure that?” you clutched your blanket. 

“You sighed like a hundred times.” he chuckled quietly.

“What do you want?” you rolled your eyes with a smile. 

“To hang out.” he pulled out a deck of cards out of nowhere. 

“We can’t make too much noise, we’ll wake everyone up.” you shook your head. 

“Fine then we’ll do something quiet.” Hyunjin smirked, tossing the cards aside and laying down next to you, his eyes closing.

“Turn the light off, sweetheart.” he cracked one eye open as you stared at him in disbelief. 

“You are not sleeping in my bunk. Go back downstairs.” you whispered.

“No.” he answered simply. 

“Hyunjin, I’m warning you, I will push you down.”

“Will you? You’ll wake up the whole bus.” he smirked. 

“God, you’re so annoying!” you whisper-yelled, giving up as you laid down, turning away from Hyunjin. 

“Be nice and share your blanket.” Hyunjin’s breath hit the back of your neck, making you shiver as goosebumps rose on your skin. 

“Need anything else?” you muttered as he hogged your blanket and your personal space. 

“A goodnight kiss?” Hyunjin leaned over you, peering at your face hopefully.

You gave him the side eye and he chuckled. 

“Maybe some other time, hm?” he asked. 

“Go to sleep.” you said and he laid down behind you. 

“Goodnight, darling.” Hyunjin wanted to reach out and touch your hair but he figured you’d probably break his arm. 

You didn’t answer, your heart beating so hard that you were afraid it was shaking the bed and Hyunjin could feel it. 

You quickly turned off the light and tried to calm down.

There was enough space to where he wasn’t touching you but you felt his warmth, his scent, his breath on your skin.

It was driving you crazy and making you feel calm at the same time. 

You managed to fall asleep somehow.

-

At some point, in the middle of the night, Hyunjin and you gravitated closer to each other and you ended up in his arms. 

When you slowly blinked your eyes open and realized you were staring straight at Hyunjin’s chest, you jolted away from him, making him groan quietly. 

“Where you goin’?” he mumbled into your pillow, trying to grab you.

“As far as I can from you.” you said, wiggling out of his arm that eventually caught you as he groaned again.

“Something’s poking my ass.” Hyunjin gasped when he rolled over and you laughed. 

“It’s the cards, you idiot.” rolling your eyes, you left the bunk feeling embarrassed and insane as your face heated up. 

What are you doing, sleeping in the same bed as Hyunjin?

You hate him, right?

You weren’t so sure anymore. 

Yes, he was annoying but somehow that became kind of endearing. 

He has bugged you every single day since the tour started and if he suddenly stopped, it’d feel weird. 

You sighed, shaking off your thoughts as you grabbed your phone, munching on your breakfast. 

“Morning, y/n. Tell me am I crazy or did Hyunjin sleep over in your bunk?” Ana smirked at you as she brought two coffees. 

“You are crazy. But yes, he slept in my bunk.” you said. 

“Interesting.” she smirked, lifting one eyebrow up. 

“Hey, I saw you sleeping in Anthony’s bunk multiple times. What’s that about?” you teased as you opened up your insta. 

“Well, everyone knows we have a thing for each other. You and Hyunjin though… oh yeah, you have a thing too.” 

“We don’t have a thing.” you quickly said as Ana chuckled. 

“Right. Mhm.” 

You continued scrolling, and that’s when you noticed it; the hate comments on your posts. 

‘She’s just a slut who’s after Hyunjin’

‘She’s delusional if she thinks he’d like her like she’s ugly lmao’

‘Untalented bitch’

‘Get her away from my Hyunjin’

‘She deserved her band falling apart they were shit anyways’

‘Y/n should retire from the music scene’

Your eyes started stinging with tears as you skimmed through the comment section. 

“What’s wrong?” Ana tilted her head to look at you. 

You slid your phone to her and she gasped. 

“You know these people are probably some jealous, unsuccessful suckers.” she said. 

“I need some air.” you sucked in a breath before hurriedly leaving the bus. 

“What’s with her?” Hyunjin walked in. “Is she mad at me?”

“No, look.” Ana showed him your phone. 

Hyunjin frowned instantly, running out of the bus after you. 

You stood not too far away with a cigarette in your hand as you hugged yourself with your other arm and Hyunjin’s eyes softened when he saw you shivering in the wind.

“I knew you’d forget to bring a jacket.” Hyunjin put his leather jacket around you, smoothing his hand over your back a few times. 

You exhaled a puff of smoke, not answering him as you melted into his big jacket. 

Hyunjin took out a cigarette for himself and you reached out with your lighter, lighting it up as he smirked. 

“Since when do you smoke?” he asked.

“Well, I’m feeling extra stressed right now so I needed something to take the edge off.” you shrugged. 

“Because of the comments?” 

“I don’t wanna talk about them.” 

“I’m sorry.” Hyunjin sighed. 

“It’s not your fault.” you said. 

“I feel like it is.” 

Hyunjin was standing so close to you that his arm was touching yours while both of you continued smoking.

You stood silently next to each other for a few more moments as the clouds passed you by, and slowly but surely Hyunjin closed the gap between your hands as he  touched yours briefly before he wrapped his pinky around yours. 

“Hey, you know I’m honored you’re part of my band.” his tone was serious and you couldn’t bear to look at him or you’d burst into tears. 

“I know.” you smiled as you kept looking into the distance. 

He smiled too, his eyes focused on you.

Hyunjin had your back; and that was a pinky promise.

-

Finally, you arrived to your next destination, and you’d be there for a few days which meant you had to check into a hotel. 

You were glad to have some time to yourself, you needed a real shower and a real bed and just some time to get away from everything, recharge your batteries. 

You just finished with your shower and skincare when your phone annoyed you, buzzing with texts constantly. 

When you grabbed it you realized that you forgot to change Hyunjin’s name from ‘asshole’. 

You laughed to yourself, deciding to just add a little heart at the end. 

asshole<3: y/n what are you doing

asshole<3: why aren’t you answering

asshole<3: i’m BOREEEED

asshole<3: y/n!!!! 

asshole<3: princess?

asshole<3: i’m coming to your room

“Shit!” you exclaimed just in time when Hyunjin knocked on your door.

“Go away, Hyunjin!” you yelled on the other side. 

“Never! I will wake the whole damn floor if you don’t open this door.” he banged against it. 

“Spoiled brat.” you muttered to yourself before opening the door. 

“Oh.” Hyunjin looked you up and down, your hair still wet from the shower, your little nightgown accentuating all your goodies. 

“Did you dress up for me?” he smirked as his tongue darted out to play with his lip piercing; a habit you picked up on.

“Oh yeah, I was just waiting for you to come knocking on my door.” you answered sarcastically.

“Oh come on, I brought snacks.” he lifted up a few bags. 

“You should’ve said that first.” you stepped aside, letting him in. 

“So, are you here just because you’re bored?” you scoffed as he practically skipped to your bed before throwing himself on it. 

“No, I’m here cause I know you miss me.” he smirked at you. “I spared you the walk to my room, princess.” 

“Oh yeah, I am the one who missed you.” you said pointedly. 

“I know you are.” he wiggled his eyebrows and you groaned, throwing a pillow at him but the slick bastard caught it. 

“I’m gonna change into something else.” you said, feeling a bit self-conscious. 

“Into what? After that outfit, the only logical thing is to have nothing on.”

“Wouldn’t you like that?” you snickered. 

“I would.” he smirked. 

“Changing right now!” you left for the bathroom to put on some actual pjs. 

“Don’t cross this line, Hyunjin.” you pointed as the two of you settled in your bed, ready to watch a movie and snack. 

He smiled his shit eating grin and put his finger over the line. 

“Whoops, crossed it.”

“Next time you lose a finger.” you threatened.

“Where is it gonna be misplaced?” he smirked. 

“Not where you think.”

“You don’t know what I’m thinking.” he leaned closer to you. “But I can show you.”

“No thanks. Just watch the movie.” 

It was quiet for some time until Hyunjin spoke up. 

“I’m thinking of getting another tattoo.”

“Oh?” you didn’t take your eyes off the screen. “Where?”

“My back. I wanna finish what I started with my arm and shoulder.” he answered. 

“Which is?” you looked at him and he smirked. 

“Glad you asked.” he said, taking his shirt off. 

“Woah, woah, what are you doing?” you jolted as he tossed it aside. 

“Showing you my tattoos.” he giggled. “See, it’s one big picture. I sketched the original on my paper, it’s a flower’s life story. From a little seed all the way to the dust it becomes after it wilts forever. It’s not finished yet though.” he turned and you gulped. 

“That’s a beautiful thought actually.” 

“Feel the flowers.” Hyunjin turned his shoulder to you. 

“I’m not gonna touch your tattoos.” you said. 

“Come on, you know you want to.” he taunted you. 

“No, I don’t.” you shook your head. 

“Yes, you do. You started ogling me as soon as I took my shirt off.”

“That’s because of your musc- nothing, nevermind.” you quickly caught yourself, biting your tongue as your face started burning. 

“Because of what? My muscles? You like them?” he started flexing immediately.

“That’s disgusting, stop acting like that.” you slapped his arm without thinking and you both froze. 

“Oh.” Hyunjin smirked before taking your hand in his. “Really, I want you to feel my tattoos.” 

“Fine if it gets you to shut up.” 

Your fingers gently traced the delicate art on Hyunjin’s skin, starting from his wrist up his arm as you watched goosebumps rise on his skin. 

You took your time to trace every leaf and petal as Hyunjin looked at you intently, his breaths coming out shaky as you traced over his arm, your fingers swirling with the intricate patterns. 

Your hand came up to his shoulder as you continued tracing, his skin was so smooth and he was so warm under your touch. 

“Y/n.” Hyunjin whispered, his hand covering yours as he leaned in closer to you, his eyelids hooded. 

Your eyes widened when you realized he was about to kiss you and you quickly moved away. 

“What the hell are you doing?!” you stood up and Hyunjin frowned at you. 

“What does it look like I’m doing?!” 

“Trying to get into my pants!” you scoffed. “I think you should sleep in your room.”

“B-but, it’s not like that!” Hyunjin stood up and you backed away.

“I know what it’s like. Please leave.” 

“Fine.” Hyunjin looked dejected as he grabbed his phone and shirt. “Teddy is lonely without me anyways.” he said, making a theatrical leave out of your room as he dragged his feet and kept giving you pointed looks. 

You were almost close to telling him he can stay, but as soon as he leaned in, you panicked and didn’t know how to react so you kept your mouth shut.

And you continued spiralling when he left, thinking about if he actually likes you or just wants to fuck you like he does to any girl. 

You’ve seen him with girls on his arms constantly and while you always thought what you felt was hate or disgust; in this moment you recognized it was jealousy and it didn’t feel good at all.

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part 2