#I am. above all. a weird hermit.

[essektheylyss]

You seem to read a lot of interesting nonfiction...any recs?

Oh man for sure! It really depends what you're interested in, but I just finished Hugh Raffles's The Book of Unconformities which was utterly fascinating.

Climate Anxiety and the Kid Question by Jade Sasser was REALLY excellent if you ever feel like you're fighting against the ecofascist tide of wondering how any parent lives with themselves these days.

I will say it over and over but Underland by Robert Macfarlane is a brilliant work of art. (I should actually put this officially on my re-read list post finishing this draft. Down to one chapter!)

In general I do find there is such a broad range of nonfiction out there; some of it is really poorly written but interesting, and some of it is beautifully written but banal, and then sometimes it manages to actually be both beautiful and interesting, and exploring nonfiction tends to involve working out which is which. I will finish a book with mediocre writing but an interesting topic and research, but if it's stupid, I will dnf. So I find reading nonfiction is really about what you find most interesting and picking accordingly. I tend to enjoy posting up in the philosophy or nature sections at the bookstore and reading every jacket cover that seems remotely my speed, and then picking books based on that!

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 4

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Woke up late because I went back to sleep with a headache briefly, then kind of struggled to focus all day ToT

Worked more on the aforementioned tapestry/painting type of thing. I've done the base layer of painting for the main image, now I'm lining in darker outlines. I wanted to finish the center art before getting into the intricate borders. Still haven't translated the text lol..

Made a small bowl and also a little box with a lid out of more avocado pits. Still just with random nail cuticle tool things and kitchen knives, as I don't have proper carving tools.

Finished editing and proofreading the new poll adventure post!! I don't have time to post it tonight because I need to get to sleep early but.. I have it Completely 100% Ready.. finally..

Also washed the clothes I got together yesterday. Called about the bloodwork. Sent an email to a doctor.

Reviewed some writing documents to get back into my game maybe?? (basically, I started working on a visual novel type game a few years ago, decided it was a huge project so kind of put it on the backburner for a while in favor of things that were more easily finishable/tangible. then later on a game website I play (similar to neopets or something, there are collectable little creatures, etc.) there was an opportunity for me to design a pet on site, so I made a smaller shorter visual novel centered around that, where people on the site have to play the game in order to earn the pet, and I have a google form for them to answer a few short questions about it. All of the feedback is quite positive (reached 200 responses a while ago! though still only like 4 comments on the itch.io page lol.. Mandatory Form vs. Optional Comments evil showdown), but sometimes I get commentary that's really enthusiastic and inspires me to start back working on the OTHER bigger game. The small game was kind of like, a proof of concept that was safe because I had a guaranteed audience, that has helped me gain more insight for the larger one.

Anyway, since I've abandoned the Main Large Game for so long, I have to re-read and review/probably rewrite A LOT of things just to pick it back up again as A Thing I'm Actively Working On, so it's another one of those tasks that I do maybe 45 minutes of and then realize it's going to take days and days and get discouraged lol..

Notable sights: Saw two cats in windows. No clovers. It rained a little today but I didn't get to go outside and see it. One of the pieces of asparagus in the fridge was like the size of a carrot, comically overgrown downright ridiculous looking asparagus. Maybe I'll get taller after eating it.

Goals moving forward: Consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc.

Notable foods: ASPARAGUS AGAIN BABEY.. yeaAAAAGHHH asparagus squad !!!!!!

[skrunksthatwunk]

yyh cast pet type headcanons!!

i am thinking about them and i am giving them animals to hang out with. yeag

hiei - falcon

falconeers don't really own their falcons. it takes a long time to build trust with them, and they can fly away at any time. they are wild animals

i think hiei would appreciate that untamed quality, and the speed, sight, and skill of them. i think he'd want a capable animal companion, if any at all

note: kuwabara would be freaked out by the emphasis on competence/functionality as well as the impermanence of it. he views animals as creatures to be protected and cherished, while hiei would rather spend time with something capable, self-sufficient, and useful (stealing this idea from my eikichi fic bc i think im right)

the closer an animal or an animal-owner relationship is to a baby/baby-parent relationship, the further he wants to be from it. it grosses him out a Lot. to him, it's like adopting an adult and then babytalking it

most peer-like relationship with animals

kurama - chia pet lol ferret/rat

i think he'd enjoy small, clever troublemakers

there's some tension inherent with kurama owning any prey animal (i think they sense his foxness), but if he finds one that isn't bothered by it, i think they'd get along just fine

enjoys training them

could keep them in his hair lol

somewhat used to short lifespans relative to his

relates to them and how they feel as animals to some extent, but he's much more likely to take control via a caretaker role than treat them as peers, like hiei

botan - chinchilla/sugar glider

i just think she'd like something soft fluffy and exotic. just seems like it'd suit her :)

pretty strong anti-reptile anti-bug bias. they freak her out

open to birds of a certain flavor. i think she'd like doves and pigeons for their dumb sweetheart-ness

also most likely to get something like a mini pig or a pygmy goat, though i think she would feel quickly overwhelmed by them

kuwabara - cats

obviously. *gestures to canon*

if i had to guess at a reason for it i'd say it's a matter of feeling appreciated. you generally can't get cats to do anything they don't want to do, so that means when they show you love, it's extra special. and i think his perseverence with challenges could help him win over even the most reluctant of cats, as well as his gentleness and unconditional love towards those critters

i think kuwa likes winning animals/people over and feeling chosen and seen

strong preference for very social animals, particularly mammals (so not, like, hermit crabs). i think he'd like dogs too

hates mice, so kurama's rats would be a bit weird for him

not huge on fish or reptiles, but willing/able to admire the coolness of them after freaking out for a bit. not huge on bugs and usually doesn't get over that

yusuke - it's complicated

i hate to say it but i don't think yusuke's really an animal person

HOWEVER. i do see him having a 50-year love-hate relationship with a sassy parrot. idk why i just think he'd argue with a bird

less used to short lifespans relative to him, would probably do better with something that lives longer, i.e. a parrot, while he's adjusting to that reality

bonus points bc he's kind of a bird (puu bird imagery)

though i think he'd appreciate feeling wanted and loved, i don't know that the responsibility of a pet would make him feel grounded and secure (i.e. kuwabara), but more anxious and constricted.

his carefree lifestyle would conflict with high maintenance pets, so he probably avoids them for a long time until he's ready to settle down

i think he likes dogs like he likes kids. they're cool to spend time with, but he's probably not gonna feel ready for them until they get dumped on him. i can see him dogsitting for keiko.

shizuru - cats, but for different reasons

a bit like hiei, i think she appreciates self-sufficiency and independence

not huge on kittens, see above

would really like a very chill very lowkey cat

yukina - hear me out. it's not birds

ok. i know birds are probably everyone's first thought bc of her bird friends at tarukane's, but i have a counter-proposal:

i think yukina loves birds but wouldn't want to trap them. she strikes me more as a feeding-birds-at-the-park type + knows what it's like to be trapped (and resents it)

she would be very willing to take in a wild bird that, due to injury or illness, could not be re-released. i think she'd love that

instead, i propose: hermit crabs and brine shrimp

yes im making her be into sea monkeys

my justifications for this are pretty limited. i mostly just think she'd be really into little guys. and i think she'd have a bit more interest in pets that would be considered weird or boring by others (i.e. cockroaches, beetles, tarantulas), especially if they come from non-icy climates. i can picture her holding everything from an iguana to a maggot with similar enthusiasm. but i think she'd likely start with small aquatic guys

plus, she feels a lot less bad about the trapping thing because they need to be in water to survive. it feels more right to her

anyway i just feel like she'd enjoy aquatic stuff. maybe because it's novel, if the ice world was too cold for them to be accessible

i like to think there's ponds on genkai's property that she could put koi or turtles in

oh dude can you imagine her with a frog terrarium bc i can

likes mammals as well, but fascinated with cold-blooded creatures due to novelty

keiko - hamster/gerbil/dog

i also struggled with her a lot, but i think she'd be a dog person

AND i also think she'd be into those small rodents, i.e. hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs (for smth bigger). maybe she had a few as a kid and never really got bored with them like others did. quite passionate about their value as pets, very upset about how they are treated by broader communities

part of me says she'd want a little dog and part of me says she'd want a huge rowdy dog (a bit like yusuke), so maybe she can have both. as a treat :)

though if i had to place anyone as interested in raising farm animals (as livestock or as pets), it'd be her. idk why but i can see her caring for geese and pigs and stuff. she wouldn't mind the hard and often dirty work of it

genkai - tortoise

i think she'd appreciate a slow-paced, low maintenance kinda guy

long lifespan bonus

it's really easy for me to imagine a big tortoise on her compound just free roaming

or perhaps little turtles in ponds around the property

plus turtles kinda inherently have old lady swag to me

toguro - snake

he's used to things kinda climbing all over him

also appreciates the low maintenance aspect

would probably look at a snake dislocating its jaw to eat something whole and go "would you look at that,, you're pushing your limits to feed yourself,,, for you it's a matter of survival. truly i have much to learn" or some shit

sensui - chickens

uh. i don't have an explanation for this one. i think he and itsuki would raise chickens that's all

i think he would carry them under his arm and he'd like watching them walk around

koenma - dwarf hamsters

just the tiniest little fit-in-your-palm types. makes him feel bigger

i can just imagine one of those wire cages behind him in his office idk vibe checks out

[cleavetheclover]

Clver, think about it...shadowire (platonic or romantic) domestic fluff,,, or just fluff,,, angsty fluff? ps this is just my sleep deprived ramblings

Like...

- Post Hourglass Omen being found by Cypher (probably willingly i don't see Cypher going to go see Omen if he'd rather not see Cypher) and just...a talk. Omen venting. Cypher comforting Omen and listening quietly. And then cuddles. A kiss when Cypher leaves Omen be again and an orange, "for luck," Cypher would say (knowing it had no such meaning)

- Pre Hourglass, Omen coming to see Cypher at night, cuddles and physical intimacy mixed with quietness, because if nothing else Over feels just a little more grounded when Cypher is holding him.

- Cypher noticing little quirks Omen has. Sometimes Cypher tells Omen about what he's noticed. Omen enjoys it because it at least means he's still human if nothing else. (I mean, what kind of monster has a preferred sitting position or a certain kind of wool they enjoy knitting the most?)

- Above, but roles exchanged. Omen notices things about Cypher that makes him Cypher and some that makes Amir. It's weird, Cypher thinks, I'd hate being known but it feels natural with Omen. (Inspired mostly by hermit card, which normally means like being known by no one but yourself)

ehh welp thas all i got in the brain goodnight I'm by no means asking you to draw any of these i just saw your ask thingy and went "bet lemme think"

Noooooo stop I stg every single member of the cyphmen community has the exact same headcannons please 😭😭😭

(Not that I’m complaining, that just means more food for all of us)

ANYWAY all of these are wonderful ideas and I definitely want to write all of them!!! Unfortunately I am rather swamped right now bc senior design is kicking my ass and job hunting is harder than ranking up in val, and my current hyperfixation is a game called Noita…

But I’ll definitely get back to writing as soon as my life stops being as volatile as a bucket of acetone.

Also I wrote a short thing for the hourglass thing I hope you like it! I’ll respond to the other prompts later

Post hourglass Omen:

I think he would shut himself in his room for a while and just sit there, completely overwhelmed and not sure where to go or what to do next.

Since it’s cannon that Omen can sense others emotions, I think pre-HG Omen would have already sensed a timid friendship and significant fear from Viper, but it wasn’t until post-HG that he knows why. He’s having this world-shattering realization that one of the few people he has trusted and befriended in this lifetime not only doesn’t return that friendship, but actively fears him, and for good reason.

Imagine learning that your best friend fears you, for an incident you would have never learned of—had you not hired a shady information broker to find it out for you.

Confirming that she sees you as a monster— something you never wanted to be.

Yeah, I’d be pretty lost and upset too.

So Omen is gonna be hiding in his room trying to figure out a path forward and simultaneously avoid thinking about said path forward.

Cypher, being the nosiest man alive, a friend of Omen’s, and also the guy who helped orchestrate the mission in the first place, is not gonna sit there and let Omen feel so alone.

He shows up and Omen really wants to just slam the door and tell him to fuck off, but he really doesn’t have the energy (and also can’t really afford to burn more bridges at the moment). So begrudgingly he lets him in.

Cypher softly says his name, “Omen,” but the shadow doesn’t dare look him in the eye. Instead he stares at the sentinel’s belt. Browth leather. Battle-worn. Probably replaced several times over, like Omen’s own combat gear.

The sentinel approaches, and Omen can feel a protective sentiment befitting his role as a Sentinel. It’s soothing, he’s felt it before, but he really wishes he weren’t the subject of such a keen emotion right now.

Cypher’s gloved hands come up to rest on the sides of his own shoulders. The intent is to be reassuring, but Omen doesn’t find it to be such. What is he supposed to do with his own hands, anyhow? Touch Cypher’s shoulders? His belt, or chest?? His waist???

Well, the chest option is gone, because the next thing he knows Cypher’s chest is pressed against his own. And his arms are wrapped around his back.

Omen always knew humans were warm, but for some reason, he had always imagined Cypher to be cold. Maybe it was the utter lack of skin showing. The minimal expressions in his mask. The way he never so much as brushed hands with anyone else in the Protocol, as if he were a robot like KAY/O. Hell, the literal killer-bot had a warmer attitude than Cypher most of the time. Maybe it was…

Whatever.

Cypher is warm. Like any other human. Embracing him without any reservations at all.

No fear. No pity. No grief.

It makes him feel like, for one moment, that maybe he isn’t a monster after all.

Omen responds in the only way he can think of: he ducks his head down and buries his face in Cypher’s collar, and lifts his hands up to Cypher’s back and pulls him as close as he can.

He smells like bar soap and leather. And something else more organic, musky almost like sweat, but that can only be described as subtle and pleasant.

Alas, their embrace cannot last forever. Poor Cypher is a man, not a scented candle or a stuffed animal that can be basked in or embraced forever. Omen releases him, already missing the warmth and the scents and the textures and the intimacy, but he would rather save face and keep Cypher comfortable than anything else.

Cypher seems… satisfied.

Omen isn’t sure how he feels.

There’s a long pause.

“I am not my past,” he blurts, immediately wishing he didn’t. He almost says something else to brush it away, but he knows that doing so will only dig a deeper hole for himself. He says nothing more and hopes Cypher will have the courtesy to do the same.

But the Sentinel, as always, has other plans.

“Neither am I.”

Omen’s gaze snaps up at that.

The Sentinel then reaches into a bag of items that he had discarded upon entering, and produces a ball of yarn and a small tin box.

“I have spent the last decade of my life paying for crimes too heinous to be named.” He comes to stand in front of Omen once again. “They called me everything from a villain to a monster to, well. ‘Villain’ and ‘monster’ in more callous terms.”

Cypher chuckled humorlessly. Omen dared not ask who ‘they’ was referring to, but got the feeling that he didn’t need to.

“I am not absolved from my past. I cannot fix the innumerable lives I have ruined or the things I have destroyed.”

Then he lifted the little tin up to his face. “But then again, what kind of monster has a favorite type of tea?”

In his other hand, outstretched to Omen, was the ball of yarn. “Or a favorite type of wool?”

Omen just stared at it. Cashmere imported from India, said the label.

“To the best of my ability— which admittedly isn’t much— I left it all behind.” Cypher somberly bushes the tips of gloved fingers across his masked cheek. “My name. My face. My skin, even.”

Omen tilted his head at that last one. It sounded painful. But then again, what about Cypher’s existence wasn’t?

“Like me, you might carry the legacy of a monster. But that does not mean you are one.”

The cashmere is soft in Omen’s hands. He runs his thumb along each strand, marveling in the gift. On its own, it didn’t feel deserved. But when he looks back sees the tin of tea being cradled in Cypher’s own hands, it does.

Former monsters sitting under a warm roof with their silly little domestic joys: the thought of it almost makes Omen laugh.

Cypher must have seen the way the tension eased from Omen’s shoulders, because now he is chuckling too.

Bastard.

“Omen,” the informant takes the revenant’s hand and says his name with that dratted melody of affection in his voice, “Would you like to knit while I brew us some tea?”

———————————————

Since you suggested an orange:

It’s a very cute idea— I think oranges are for luck and wealth in Chinese culture, not sure about other ones tho.

Unfortunately I’ve come to kind of associate them with mourning. My grandma passed away last summer, and my grandpa and I leave flowers and oranges on her gravestone when we visit. So I didn’t feel like writing that into this little story lol

And yeah I also incorporated your “what kind of monster has a favorite kind of wool?” Thing in here wahoo

[piccolos-bigtoe]

i love how rancid your sniper design looks, literally 10/10 design

WHAHAHHA THANK YOU here’s a kinda weird kinda spooky doodle thing of (albeit blu) Sniper I had on hand, I am not lying when I say I have literally NEVER been so obsessed over a character before. Like actually. Ofc I have liked characters, but the moment I saw him something inside my brain snapped and changed irreversibly. Like I don’t even know what happened, I knew sort of about TF2 (I knew about half-life and gmod first tho cause YouTubers and prop hunt yk) but like not really. The first time I saw him (and pretty much all the other mercs) was from some sort of meme where all the characters kept popping up shirtless while a song was playing (I’ll put it at the bottom). He’s gross. And he was the first character I’ve seen kind of actively be gross (or maybe I’m just crazy and forgot every other gross character) and I was like “omg,,, he’s literally me,,,” but also I think he made me realize I have a “type” in a way as far as characters go. previous characters I drew quite a bit were also hermits and certified gross girls (my SDV farmer, a seperate OC I have, Brian from monster prom but he’s not like SUPER hermit ig).

Also here’s the video I mentioned I physically can’t watch it again because it hurts, it hurst so bad, so much everytime, my eyeballs literally fall out my skull in horror and I die a little bit because I don’t understand what’s going on. I know above I said it was “love at first sight” but I didn’t mean from this video so now I kind of lied I’m sorry it was at second sight because I didn’t even understand what or who I was looking at.

[roxelana]

Dear Neptune

Since when I was born, you may have chosen me to be your child. My dominant planet you are. Who ruled in my chart, and my whole life. Since I was a child, i felt lost, things pocking on me, trouble me or make me an invisible pal towards others. And it grew more, and more into me. Mystic, unbearable most of the time, but quite intriguing. I have understood that because of you, people do not know the whole me. And misunderstan people towards me. And kinda blurry the vision people have from me. You took something from me, and flavored with your energy utself. You gave me the ability to live in a dream, that may never be possible. To live even in dreams which may turn into reality. Imagination and visualization to its finest. But still giving me awareness of what's going on in current reality. You gave me a stuttering voice when for the trouble you kinda "made" me do, well-known that I had the perfect answer to give. And make me a lovely person in someone's life bcs of the power-dynamics, them people be above. Make me the evil villain to someone's who were on the wrong and projecting on me. And make me an invisible human towards the world , and people who loved me but forgetting I was with them. It's kinda staggering when i see this in my life. And I sometimes blame you. Bcs people don't know me, but know what they perceive its true to them, ABOUT ME. Kinda ironic and devious from you. People blamed me for kinda everything, I was a punching bag to certain people, i was the venting hermit who could hear them bluffing about their problems and needs, and a victim under people negative energy. Who picked on me so much and treated me so badly. A scapegoat to his relatives and friends too, who all the nerves they had towards other people, put on me.

You gave me good heart, also God gave it to me. While i suffer from low self-love, self-esteem and depression how i am living my life. I know its you NEPTUNE. But why? Maybe that's how life it is. But why? I won't get the answer.

Neptune gave me delusions. In a way that makes you think that certain people are meant this way in your life, and making me prone to illusion myself in certains delusion. Idk if they will become true, but its a way I cope with my life, miserable life. Idk why to do? To believe them, to make me aware more to not fall into delusions of not only myself, but the whole earth. How other people create delusions in real life. Idk man, its kinda crazy.

It gave me love for the spiritual world, how certaion things go hand in hand, how people connect with each-other emotionally, and how their souls interact. But you gave me the worst perception to think people about me. And also, them creating rumors and spread false info about me. You gave that power to me, and to illusion others. I hope you understand what I mean. But still remaining a mystery, a puzzle with missing pieces, hard to pin down, and also a truly unknown person.

You made me cunning, vigilant at the same time as being delulu. A chameleon, truly knowing how to blend in with people, unconsciously or not. Its weird how you work, and so mysterious how you play your cards. You made me wanting peace, but still wanting chaos. Hou made me love light, but also darkness. You made me be aware of my reality, but love my delulu reality. What's your plan? You made me feel like im blessed, but also cursed. U made me a victim, but also a hero and also a villian.

You made me a person full of emotions, sensitivity, empathy as nature. But also people not value these things about me. How unfair life is. I can never know that I have such a great soul, such a powerful soul that instigate people to envy, or hate me about my beautiful energy. Or not. Idk. Addictive, but also a repulsive, who push people away. Attractive but also not that much.

Mystic, mystery, an unexplored and yet not daring to go through. Eager to, but not taking the risk.

So NEPTUNIAN of you!!

[jos-has-too-many-hobbies]

Alright, for today's Hermit a Day I decided I'd finish this old oneshot from @saphushia's phantom etho au, so here ya go

Goodness How’d it Get so Late?

“So, like, we can all agree that Etho is… strange, right?”

“Mumbo, you’re gonna have to be more specific than that,’ Grian rolled his eyes and stifled a yawn. “Strange is like, Etho's middle name or something.” 

“Well yeah, I know, it’s just-” Mumbo tried (and failed) to stifle his own yawn, “he’s just been a lot stranger lately. Like, I keep seeing him at night, and he just stares at me, he almost seems angry or annoyed.”

“Mate, I don’t think ‘staring at you’ counts as particularly strange, I mean, this is Etho we’re talking about, he’s done a lot stranger things than that. When did this start happening anyway?” 

“Uh, I think I first saw him a couple days after we started this whole Mooner thing, but it was weird, it was like he was trying to stay right at the edge of my vision. Oh- oh and he, like,  had wings? I think? And he was all bony, like a skeleton, but… not a skeleton?”

“Mhm, and you’re sure this isn’t, like, some sleep deprivation hallucination then?” Grian asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“Uh, I’m not- I don’t…think so?”

“Wow, you sound very sure of yourself there.”

“Well you- you’ve sown the seeds of doubt now, you have!” Mumbo cried with mock indignation. “Y’know what, yeah, I am one-hundred and twenty percent sure of myself actually, and there’s nothing you can say to make me doubt myself again, you hear?”

“Sure, sure, and y’know what? I’ll believe you on this one.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, I believe, that you believe, that you keep seeing a vaguely menacing Etho with wings out of the corner of your eye.”

“Gosh, that means a lot G,” it was Mumbo’s turn to roll his eyes now.

“Anyway, speaking of sleep deprivation,” Grian continued, unphased, “have you heard the phantoms recently?”

“Wait, do you mean the laughing?”

“Yeah, exactly, glad it’s not just me hearing that,”  Grian shook his head and sighed, “Honestly it’s getting kind of annoying, like first you try to kill me for not sleeping, and now you’re distracting me with this creepy laugh? It seems a bit counterintuitive honestly, I mean, who’s gonna be able to sleep with all that noise?”

“Wait a sec, mate,” Mumbo’s eyes went wide, and he practically jumped out of his seat. 

“What?”

“Y’know who’s laughing the phantoms sound like?”

“Who’s?”

Mumbo paused, for dramatic effect, before he whispered, “Etho’s.”

Grian stared at him for a moment, blinked, and the two men burst out laughing. 

Above Boatem, Etho chuckled to himself as he circled Treesa. He swooped lower, and gently landed atop the van, so as not to alert the two exhausted men below him. Not yet, at least. Spying on the sleep deprived dorks over in Boatem had recently become one of his favorite pastimes. It was just too easy, y’know? Etho waited for a lull in the conversation, before leaping into the air and cackling shrilly. As he swooped back around he heard a loud thud against the roof of the van and a yelp, followed by a very disgruntled Mumbo shouting.

Flying back toward his base, Etho pulled out his comm.

<Etho>  mumbo and grian haven’t slept in over a week and they’re convinced I’m a hallucination

<Etho> #neverwinning ;-)

<VintageBeef> I hate u

[nehswritesstuffs]

Siblings of Water

If all my years of reading One Piece has taught me anything it’s A) remember minor characters, and B) always check for a shown corpse.

6211 words; set post-Wano but also pre-whatever-the-flip nonsense our lads are in at the moment; if something like this ever went down I would freaking scream and idk if anyone in a five mile radius would survive; we need more good blood-siblings in this series because as of this posting the best blood-siblings have been, like, the Ryugu royals and two sets of Wano sibs unless I’m missing someone don’t try to lie to me about any Charlotte shenanigans (though really this has the side-effect of tons of adoptive siblings/found family that are excellent and I admit I am greedy and want it all); one of the most sensible and natural real-world equivalent languages for Law to probably speak is Northern Low Saxon you can’t change my mind I’m not getting out of this chair this has little to do with the fic but it is important to me; we also need Trafalgar Family angst so here we are; this is my 200th fic on FFN and that’s not only pretty cool but my 20th fic was also my first One Piece fic and that was even well before these jokers showed up in the story so idk what that says about a lot of things

Siblings of Water; After their adventures in Wano, the Heart Pirates stumble a quiet island that holds a very jarring surprise for their captain.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Nuh-uh; you’re coming with us,” she said. She was standing in the doorway to his cabin, completely not-caring that he was giving her an absolutely murderous look from his position reclined on his bed.

“It’s festival season—I’m not going,” he replied. He tried to look as though he was going back to the highly academic tome of Magicks and Poshuns of Wano and Her Dauters, though in reality, he was simply trying to hide a copy of Sora, Warrior of the Sea from everyone’s prying eyes.

“You were barely at any of the parties in Wano.”

“I was obliged to attend in a nominal and symbolic manner,” he countered. “I’m all festivaled out.”

“Yeah, where you were there for five minutes before wandering off.”

“I enjoy wandering.”

“Wander the festival.”

“I can’t be guaranteed there shall be other adults there.”

“We’ll be there.”

“I know.”

Narrowing her eyes, Ikkaku made an extremely executive decision and stepped into the cabin and grabbed onto Law’s ear, tugging until he closed the book and got out of the bed. She pulled him through the submarine—to the shock of all their crewmates lingering just outside in the corridor—until she had him above deck and down the gangplank and on solid ground again.

“Now, you are going to go with us to the festival, and you are going to enjoy yourself, and you aren’t going to use wandering as an excuse to make your way back here,” she demanded. The rest of the Heart Pirates watched from atop deck, wondering whose will was going to win this time.

“It still doesn’t mean I want to,” he growled.

Ikkaku crossed her arms across her chest, unfazed. “Bepo!”

“Yes, ma’am…?”

“You’re in charge of making sure Law stays out here!” she said. The bear blanched.

“Now that’s not entirely fair,” Law noted.

“It’s fair,” she reasoned. “Stay with us, you’ll be fine. Try to run away and you’re getting sat on by an ass full of fur and Electro that also happens to have you wrapped around his little claw.”

“I am not.”

“We all are and you know this.”

A beat.

“I hate you.”

“You need to touch grass more often, you weird hermit-man.”

“I just touched a lot of grass for an extended period of time, thank you.”

“More often, dweebus.” She then glanced over at the rest of the crew, who shivered in response. “Let’s go, lads! Fun awaits!”

“…but what if someone tries to steal the Tang?” Law asked. Bepo walked up to him and put a comforting paw on his shoulder.

“No one other than Ikka can get the thing started properly,” he grimaced. “Sorry, but, we’re stuck.”

“We were able to work it before she joined up.”

“That was before she made the modifications. It’s mostly anti-theft measures, but if we’re the thieves…”

“I should have left you all on Strawhat-ya’s deck like orphan puppies.”

Bepo didn’t respond to that, which only made Law sigh in resignation.

“Okay, yeah, I’d never do that.”

“Glad you’re aware.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Festivals always made Law feel extremely uncomfortable. It reminded him of a time when he would rather study than anything else, sending a searing pang of guilt ripping through his heart. It all reminded him of then, of them, and he was doing his best to seem as disaffected as possible while still trying to figure out a way to speed-chess his way back to the Tang without any repercussions.

Well, at least the beer was decent. It was actual beer at that—Wano had fine native brewing traditions, but none of them resulted in beer. Law found himself huddled over a tankard of stuff leagues better than whatever swill it was that Kaido imported as his crew held him hostage in a picnic area, with them taking up two whole tables on one end, while a band set up on the other end near a stage. Stalls boxed in the varying picnickers and festival-goers alike, which made the particular pirate captain skittish.

“Relax,” Ikkaku smirked into her own beer. It was her first; Law’s third. “You look like a cornered cat.”

“I feel like a cornered cat,” he scowled. Bepo brought over another pile of soft pretzels for the table, which Law wordlessly shambled into bits with ease. Maybe he could get away with wanting to go back in another hour… “Whatever happened to a captain’s veto?”

“It’s because the captain knows that I could have either pulled him by the ear, or the earrings.” Ikkaku popped a bit of pretzel into her mouth and nodded—not bad. “Besides, it’s quality time with just us. It’s been a while since it was just us, all together, no other weirdos in the mix.”

“Yeah, come on, Cap,” Penguin chuckled. “You know, this is why you don’t get laid.”

Shachi choked on his pretzel bite so badly that Law had to get it out.

“Can we please save talk of my non-existent love life for, oh, I don’t know: never?” Law growled.

“All I know is that you’re Emperor material and got nothing to show for it,” Penguin noted. “You could be slaying anything you wanted, as much as you wanted.”

“I hate this conversation.”

“Our captain doesn’t seem like the ‘slaying’ type, though,” Clione offered.

“I really hate this conversation.”

“Yeah,” Penguin nodded, “you’re right—we’d need to recruit whomever it is to the crew, just so they can get to know each other first, then we let them on private shore leave.”

“I swear if this conversation goes on any further I am going to put up the biggest Room I can and drop you in the ocean.”

“You’re in luck, grumpass,” Ikkaku said. She pointed at the stage. “Looks like someone’s coming up to talk—she’s got a transponder snail.” Sure enough, most of the picnic area went quiet, waiting for the person that Law was flat-out refusing to look at out of sheer principle.

“Hi everyone!” a cheery woman said into her Den Den, voice amplified by the tiny snail. “For those of you visiting today, my name is Milla, and I’m one of the island’s resident doctors and chairwoman of this year’s festival!” She paused to let people clap, during which Shachi whistled lowly.

“Oooh, she’s a cutie,” he noted.

“…and probably too smart to be taken in by your dumb ass,” Penguin chortled. The pair kept elbowing one another as the chairwoman continued.

“I just wanted to extend a very warm welcome and thank you from the rest of the committee and island to you,” she said. “Festivals are one of the things that really keeps us going here in the Grand Line, punctuating our seasons in a way that the weather is incapable of doing. It was the same in the town where I grew up, in an icy Blue far away from here, though for different reasons, of course.”

“Huh… she’s from the North?” Hakugan wondered. Despite the fact Law was the one who rolled his eyes, it was Ikkaku who replied.

“The South Blue’s cold too, you know,” she said. She patted Law’s forearm, feeling that his muscles and tendons were tight under his shirt as he held the ale tankard. “Relax.”

“Festivals… really aren’t my thing…”

“You tried that—now stop being so tense and just enjoy some time out of the fart-box.”

“Now,” the chairwoman said, “I’ll sing you a song from that sea to officially open up our festivities. It’s an old one, but it has always warmed my heart after all these years. The music’s not the same, so bear with us, please, if you heard it before. Alright! Hit it!”

The music was slow at first, haunting and eerie—something very out-of-sorts for an otherwise-bright festival. It twisted and turned and reached deep into the crowd that was barely able to contain its excitement. The Heart Pirates mostly gave the chairwoman their attention, the entire orchestra silent except for a singular violin. Then another joined in, then a piano, and finally, the chairwoman herself in words just barely familiar to the Hearts. The North dripped from her voice as she sang a ballad of old heroes and exciting tales; a song of heartbreak and death; a tale of life and what horrors it brought. After the following chorus, the orchestra picked the tempo up slightly, bringing more instruments into the fray.

“Are you alright, Captain?” Ikkaku wondered. The Heart Pirates all looked at Law and saw that he was deathly pale, as though he was sitting across from a ghost instead of Uni. His hands—always surgeon-steady—were trembling and he was chewing on his lower lip.

Adjusting slightly, Law turned so that he could see the festival chairwoman as she continued her song. His eyes went wide and his breath hitched—no… it couldn’t be…

The very image of his mother stood atop the stage.

“Law…? Hellllooooo…” Penguin waved his hand in front of his captain’s face, failing to break him from the trance. “Oh, shit, this isn’t good.”

“Do you think maybe they sang this back where he’s from?” Clione asked. The crew at-large did not know much, but they did know better than to say the White City’s name aloud.

“Why else would he behave this way?” Shachi frowned. He tried snapping his fingers next to their captain’s ear—nothing. “We’re gonna have to take evasive action if this doesn’t stop.”

Then, suddenly, Law stood up, facing the stage and the chairwoman on it. He stared at her, eyes now resolute, watching her as she finished the chorus. His standing there was not out of place, as there were still many around and in the seating areas who were milling about and moving from stalls to tables, yet there was no one else who proceeded to do what he did upon the next verse and an additional strengthening of the tempo…

...Trafalgar Law started singing.

Heart Pirates and villagers alike began to stare, wondering about how he knew this song. His crew’s jaws all dropped at the sound of his singing voice; low and clear, it was one that invoked the idea that he might have even had training at one point—when in the hell did their captain sit with a vocal coach?!

As he continued to sing, Law began to walk up towards the stage. The festival chairwoman saw him and skipped a line of verse, though quickly collected herself and pretended to beckon him up to share the microphone snail with her. They reached the chorus and the band picked up the tempo again, the song now fully becoming cheerful and vibrant and full.

“I’m sorry,” Bepo squeaked, slackjawed, “but in all my years of knowing the captain, this is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I think this is the weirdest thing any of us have ever seen,” Shachi replied, “and we literally just helped take down two Emperors and an authoritarian regime.”

“He’s smiling,” Ikkaku marveled. “Holy shit he’s smiling… and no one’s about to die.”

“I… don’t feel safe,” Jean Bart muttered. His smaller crewmates all unanimously agreed—there was something that did not feel right about this entire thing, as though their captain might have been in a trance, or in some grave danger.

“Oh, no, he’s dancing,” Shachi groaned. The acute sense of horror that set in amongst his and the other Hearts’ very souls was palpable. “None of this is right. They replaced the captain with a fake…”

“It might be he never found the opportunity before…?” Bepo offered.

“The opportunity to folk dance?!”

“Oh, sorry…”

One more round of the chorus and the song ended, with Law and the chairwoman laughing while taking their bow together. The Hearts watched as their captain ducked down and whispered something in the woman’s ear, her expression startled as she took him by the hand and dragged him off the stage.

“Let’s give him fifteen minutes,” Penguin decided. “If this isn’t resolved by then, we’re going to have to take evasive action and get him back to the Tang for a debrief.”

“What if she’s killed him by then?” Uni asked. Penguin shrugged.

“Maybe Straw Hat’s accepting applications…?”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Still completely stunned, Law allowed himself to be dragged throughout the backways of the festival by the chairwoman. She hid their path behind stalls and tents as she ducked into a small tent, which was occupied by some other festival officials.

“I need to question this man,” she said firmly. The other two looked at each other, then at her.

“He knew the song,” one noted. “That was a pretty neat trick you pulled.”

“Yeah, and I need to talk to him about it, because random people here just don’t know near-extinct folk songs from the North Blue,” the chairwoman frowned. The other two shrugged at that and left, promising that they would not be disturbed. Once they were out, the chairwoman muttered lowly as she drew the flaps, making it so no one saw them either.

“You know,” Law stated in Northern, “I could honestly say the same thing about you.” He watched as the chairwoman spun on her heel to look at him and he felt an intense sadness creep over him again. This woman, wearing his mother’s face, able to sing a song he hadn’t heard in over fifteen years… it was a sick joke.

“Say it again,” she demanded. “What did you say on the stage?” He exhaled heavily

“I am the Law, you are the Lam.” He watched as her face went pale at the words. “You called yourself something else though…”

“Milla—it’s what I go by thanks to… you know… our name being dangerous.” She watched as he pulled off his hat and scratched at his scalp. Tears began to form in her eyes and her voice grew strained, croaking. “I… thought I forgot what Dad looked like… but he just looked like you.”

“…and you look like Mom.”

“Really…?”

“Yeah.”

The two siblings stood there in the tent awkwardly until Law quietly opened his arms, allowing his sister to crash into a hug. They both cried as they held each other, neither wanting to let go, nor wholly believing it was real.

“Lami… I thought you died.”

“I thought you died, Law,” she replied. “I saw what was left of your classmates… the Sister’s habit… I thought you were already taken away and buried.”

“No one severely hurt me, not physically, but I did get out to the countryside in one of the carts,” he admitted quietly. “When I got back to the hospital, it was in flames, so I did what I could to survive.” He held her at arm’s length and marveled at the fact they were even there. “How did you get out?”

“There was a man who came in before the fire and took me and some of the other kids; they probably would have taken you too had you stayed,” she explained. She then hesitated, wondering how to continue. “What do you know about a place called Punk Hazard?”

“More than I should,” he said lowly.

“We were taken there by the man from the hospital. He said that he was in charge of a program under Dr. Vegapunk meant to cure us, make us better. There was a doctor on the team who knew Dad and she started on me first, since my case was the most severe.” Tears were now streaming down her face in earnest. “She took it all out of me, Law! It was as if it never happened!”

“What did she do? What happened to the rest of the children? What…?”

She shook her head.

“After it was proven I was fully cured, she was killed for the Devil Fruit power that she used to do it, and all of us kids ordered destroyed as evidence. I only survived because her son, one of the nurses, smuggled me out.” She had to brace herself by holding onto the back of a chair. “Sorry… just… the very fact you’re alive right now and we’re talking… I…”

“Lami, my name has been all over the papers—I have one of the highest current bounties of all pirates—how did you not know I was alive?”

“I read medical journals, not the newspaper,” she defended. “Close I get is my coworkers leave me the comics section.”

“I have bounty posters.”

“I have literally been here the past five years, becoming a resident doctor and pouring my heart and soul into this place. If it happened during that, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

“That’s another thing,” Law noted. “Since when were you interested in being a doctor? I last saw you when you were five and you wanted to be a unicorn when you grew up.”

Lami shifted uncomfortably. “Like I said: I thought you were dead.”

He shook his head, a laugh on his lips. “Then you’re going to love what they call me.” A newspaper caught his eye and he picked it up; yes, it was the most recent edition. He found the bounty posters hidden inside and took out his own, passing it to her. She blanched as she read it, realizing exactly what it was her brother had become.

“‘Surgeon of Death’,” she read aloud. “Then you became a doctor too…? Just like Mom and Dad…?”

“At first I really just wanted to kill and destroy as much as I could after leaving Flevance, but by the time I had been cured, something had shifted.” He then looked at Lami, eyebrow raised. “How did the doctor on Punk Hazard cure you?”

“Devil Fruit,” she shrugged. “A twitch of her fingers and she could take me apart bit by bit without it hurting. She could even take things out of me without opening me up. Never did learn what it was called… but that doesn’t matter, because the Government I’m sure has it now, having a crony use it to make Pacifistas or something equally as horrible.”

Law shook his head and quietly opened a Room that surrounded her. “I wouldn’t say that.” He disassembled her right arm and she gasped, completely taken aback. “It must have slipped from their fingers, but I hear that it ended up in good hands.” He put her back together and she started to sob uncontrollably. She didn’t even resist when he pulled her into another hug, feeling more like they were children again than anything.

Then, without warning, Lami stopped making sound.

It wasn’t as though she stopped crying—oh no, she was still sobbing, borderline violently in fact—but as far as making noise? Completely quiet. He stared at her in silence, only to realize something: the entire time they had been in the tent, there was no audible evidence that they were in the middle of a festival.

“Lami?” She looked up at him and froze, realizing what had happened.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “I’m usually much better at controlling that.” She cringed as her brother grew gravely serious, as though everything relied on her answer to his next question.

“Since when have you been able to use a Devil Fruit?”

“Since I was about… I don’t remember… eleven…? Twelve…? I wasn’t paying attention because I was studying while traveling—thought it was a fancy apple.” It then hit her that he got her to unknowingly out herself, to which she scowled. “How could you tell it was a Fruit and not something else?”

“The man who saved me had your Devil Fruit,” he said. Law went to the tent flaps and looked outside—he couldn’t hear a thing until he psychically stuck his head out, retreating quickly. “I had no will to live, and then… he stole me from a pretty dangerous place too.”

“Then maybe, somehow, they both knew that we had to live in order to meet one another again… to give our names back their meaning.”

Law simply held out his hand, Lami staring at it warily. “Will you come with us, then? We could use a tactical advantage like you.”

“…but I’m not good at fighting.”

“…but you are good at this.” Law gestured with both arms at the tent surrounding them. “How long is the festival?”

“Until tomorrow night.”

“Think about it—we can afford to relax for another day.” He held out his hand again. “At least come meet my crew…?”

“Later; I’ve got… oh, shit, I’ve got things to do for the festival!” Lami panicked and went to exit the tent, only for her to be met with Shachi catching them as he was walking by. He started shouting at the two of them—despite the unknown silence—with Lami backing into the tent again as he approached.

“—and furthermore—!” He paused as he stepped over the threshold of the tent, blinking in confusion. “What the hell just happened? Where’s all the noise?”

“Nagi Nagi no Mi—Calm Calm Fruit—I can literally negate noise okay bye!” Lami skirted around Shachi and ran out of the tent, the noise barrier lifting as she went. Shachi watched her leave, then stared at Law curiously.

“What was that…?”

“Long story.”

“I’ve been around you for long enough—I got time.”

“Longer than we’ve known each other.”

“That’s… a long time.”

“Indeed.” The pair walked together back to where the rest of the crew was waiting nervously, all eyeing their captain in an attempt to figure out what happened. Law downed the remainder of his beer in one go and placed the tankard back on the table. “Drank, sang, danced; I think I’ve touched enough grass to earn the right to go back to the Tang.”

“I’ll agree with that,” Ikkaku nodded. They all watched as he stormed away, stride a bit too quick for normal. “Shit—looks like someone’s going to be grumpy all night. Let’s give him a bit, then grill him good.”

“That sounds dangerous,” Bepo grimaced.

“It’s what we have available to us, or else no one is going to enjoy this festival,” she shrugged. She popped a bit of pretzel in her mouth and sighed dramatically—traveling with a bunch of men certainly was tiresome sometimes.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The very moment that Law returned back to the Polar Tang, he went directly into his cabin and locked the door behind him. It did not matter that he literally had the entire ship to himself—only when he was inside the safety of his private quarters did he break down and allow himself to sob in earnest, curled up on his bunk and allowing himself a weakness he rarely indulged in, for what was the captain of a pirate crew except for strong?

Hours passed and Law laid there, his entire body shaking in trepidation. After all these years, all this time, his sister was alive. She was here, in the Grand Line, and alive.

Trafalgar D. Water Lami was alive.

Two of them survived.

After everything that tried to silence them over the years, they were still alive.

Fuck, he couldn’t stop thinking that word.

Alive.

Suddenly, he was restless. Law quickly stood and began pacing in his tiny cabin. Rarely had he felt as though he was going to bounce off the fucking walls, but that’s where he was, and he needed to calm down. He stopped in the middle of the room and looked at his hands, remembering what it was she had said earlier.

…I… thought I forgot what Dad looked like…

A weight dropped in his stomach.

…but he looked just like you.

Slowly, Law turned towards the mirror that was hanging in his sliver of a washroom. His mouth felt very dry all of a sudden as the face staring back at him stripped away the very thing he did his best to not address all these years. He grabbed onto his chair and shakily leaned on it—fuck, oh fuck, why did this hurt? Why was this so hard? His chest felt tight as he reached for a box sitting on a shelf, gingerly placing it on the desk before opening it. He pulled out a pair of charred eyeglass frames and shakily put them on, the thin metal burnished and lens-less, confirming everything bearing down on him. His eyesight blurred as tears distorted it, knowing that she assured him of the cruel joke that he had been terrified of all these years.

He really did look like their dad.

“Captain…?” It was Hakugan, pounding at the door, startling Law as he took the frames off in a panic. “Captain, you’ve got a visitor!”

“Don’t fuck with me,” he growled.

“That’s why Penguin sent me, because I don’t do that shit, apparently.”

Law put the eyeglass frames back in the box and placed it back in the box. He took a deep breath and opened the door, seeing the unchanging expression of his crewmate’s mask. “Who is it?”

“That lady you were singing with; she’s insisting we let her talk with you.”

“Is she in the Tang?”

“No; top deck.”

“Then I’m going to need you, Clione, and Bepo to run crowd control and make sure that no one bothers us.”

“Shachi says she’s got a Devil Fruit…”

“It’s a silencer, nothing more.” He waited until Hakugan stepped aside before heading up towards the roof of the ship. There was Lami, standing by the gangplank, a knapsack over her shoulder and a duffle bag in her hand as the rest of the crew gawked at her. Law calmly walked up to her, hearing the noise of the crew fade away as he entered her space. “That was fast.”

“They recognized you,” she said simply. “My committee members might have pulled a coup and voted to relieve me of my duties so I can go sail with my brother.”

“Do they…?”

“One says we look alike, but I don’t think that at all,” she laughed weakly. “They don’t think we’re eloping at least.”

“Well, that’s good,” he shuddered. He could feel a presence behind him, who he knew to be Bepo not only due to Haki and long-friendship with the bear, but also due to the way his sister’s eyes lit up. “What is it, Bepo?”

“I’m sorry, but, what’s going on…?”

“Oh, yeah, the rest of you are here,” Law frowned. He turned towards the rest of the crew and motioned towards Lami. “She’s staying.”

“Uh… Captain…?” Shachi said warily. “Why is the island’s festival chairwoman staying?”

“Lami’s staying with us for a while,” Law stated, leaving no further room for comment. “Ikkaku, it looks like you’re getting a women’s quarters after all.”

“Yes!” the aforementioned engineer grinned as she pumped her fist. “Keep asking and good things will come!”

“You know that, statistically-speaking, it was only a matter of time before another woman started traveling with us,” Uni stated. “Women are half the world.”

“Yeah, but for some reason there’s only a fraction of us on the seas, let alone the Grand Line,” she fired back. “So, Lami, was it? You and I need to talk about how we’re going to build this room, because it’s going to be a very important haven when these dweebs start doing shit like running around naked on laundry day or when they decide to induce shedding on Bepo or start playing Rivet, Rivet, Better Skip It…”

“You’re just jealous that you never win because you suck,” Penguin smirked.

“I ‘suck’ because, reportedly, ‘fuck you’,” Ikkaku sneered, using liberal amounts of air-quotes. She then grabbed onto Lami’s upper arm and pulled her along, disappearing into the bowels of the Tang. The rest of the crew simply stared at Law.

“I thought we were only really recruiting people from the North Blue,” Uni mentioned. “Y’know, barring Bepo and Jean Bart.”

“She is.”

“She knew a song, Captain—that doesn’t prove anything.”

“It proves more than you know.”

“Was she from Flevance?” Everyone looked over at Jean Bart, who seemed reserved in his accusation, making the large man seem so incredibly timid. No one else said a word, instead turning their attention towards their captain.

Instead of responding verbally, Law simply went down beneath the deck, finding where Ikkaku had dragged Lami off to; they were in the mess hall, the former having pulled out an impressive set of schematics that were boggling the younger’s mind.

“You sure you’re alright like this?” he asked. She glanced up at him, very clearly as though she knew the blueprints were over her head.

“I think so…” She ran her fingers over a cutaway illustration and her brow furrowed. “I can do complicated surgeries and can identify any humanoid organ by sight alone, but this…”

“She’s like a surgeon, but for a ship, in a way,” Law shrugged. “What we do with people, she does with metal.”

“Then you’re also a doctor?” Ikkaku noted. “Nice. You and the captain will make a good team then.” She waggled her eyes at Law, who scowled at her grouchily.

“Lami is my sister,” he said, deciding to cut that off at the bud. Ikkaku froze in place, letting the information wash over her before slowly nodding.

“Does anyone else know this?”

“No.”

“Is anyone else allowed to know this?”

“The crew is, yeah, but remember: they are a bunch of dumbasses.”

“True enough.” She then glanced over at Lami, who seemed to be flushing pink in embarrassment. “Anything else I need to know about?”

“I ate a Devil Fruit that makes everything quiet and I love reading Sora, Warrior of the Sea and festivals are literally my favorite thing ever and have been since I was little.”

“That actually explains a lot,” Ikkaku chuckled. She gave Law a shit-eating grin, one that sent a chill down his spine. “Don’t worry, Captain; we’ll take care of your little sister, not a problem.”

“LITTLE SISTER?!”

The three turned towards the doorway to find the rest of the crew standing by the mess hall’s entrance, jaws dropped in astonishment. Penguin and Shachi were so moved, even, that they both started crying.

“You came through for us and got the crew a cute little sister after all!” Shachi sobbed.

“Yeah, Captain! We’ll treat her just as we would our own little sister!” Penguin added tearfully.

“Neither of you have a sister, which begs many a question,” Law deadpanned.

“Not to mention how in the hell they’ve been treating me all these years,” Ikkaku griped. Lami went and surprised them both, along with the entire rest of the crew, by going between them and bowing at the waist.

“Thank you for taking such good care of my brother all these years!” she said. When she straightened, her eyes were glassy and red-rimmed. “It’s been my dream to find someone from Flevance again, and for it to be my brother… you have no idea what it means to me!”

“Big brothers are the best, aren’t they?” Bepo asked cheerfully. Lami mirrored his smile despite the tears leaking down her face.

“They really are! Especially when you haven’t seen them in a long time!”

Bepo brought Lami into a tight hug and the rest of the Hearts cheered—a new younger sister! The captain’s younger sister at that! Things really were looking up.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Pudding had long ago accepted the fact that she was a hostage, waiting to be rescued. In fact, she was perfectly fine with the idea that she was perfectly helpless until at least one of her siblings arrived. Was it going to be an enjoyable reunion? Probably not. What she also knew, however, was that the two men that made up her guard were complete and utter thugs.

“Mommy’s dead—she ain’t gonna help ya,” the guard on the left grinned. She felt the undying urge to take a shower just from him looking at her.

“I have more powerful people behind me than just my mother, if you’re that set on her dying,” she huffed. “Katakuri is a very protective older brother, I’ll have you know.”

“If he can bother hunting down one little lamb while the rest of the flock is panicking in the power vacuum?” Right chuckled. “I doubt. Mommy and Uncle Kaido kinda played into our commodore’s hands.”

“Hmm… I doubt.”

“Oh, you’re gonna doubt a lot of shit once the commodore’s done with you, girlie,” Left chortled.

Ugh. So fucking cringe.

Just then, Pudding noticed that as the two guards moved to better face—and therefore better taunt—her, two women came into view. One with curly hair and the other with hair pulled back in a neat bun, they both were motioning for her to keep quiet. Neither of them seemed to give off the same vibe as the rest of the crew, so Pudding decided to play along. Well, how bad could it get?

“Uh-huh, sure, as though he’d even know what to do with me.”

Without making a sound, both women moved behind the guards, the one with the curly hair hitting them in the back of the head with an oversized wrench to knock them out. The other woman grabbed the keys and unlocked the cell, the keys refusing to make even a single clinking noise. She approached Pudding and touched her pointer and middle finger to the teen’s lips before beginning to work on the restraints.

“Charlotte Pudding, I presume?”

“…and to whom do I owe this rescue?” she asked. “You don’t look like you’re from the Family.”

“Let’s just say we don’t think that a cute kid like you should be with these gross molesters-in-waiting,” the curly-haired woman smirked. She gave Pudding a wink, then a pistol. “I’m Ikkaku, this is Lami. Our captain’s providing us a distraction as we speak.”

“…and how do I know that I’m not walking right from one den of crazies into another?” Pudding asked. The two older women glanced at each other and shrugged.

“I swear on my belching metal baby, the Polar Tang, that we’re actually pretty decent,” Ikkaku claimed.

“…and I swear on my Hippocratic Oath that I would not do anything to provoke harm, nor allow senseless acts to be committed towards anyone under my care, which you now are,” Lami stated.

“So, really, we’re weird, but in an ‘everyone is weird’ sense,” Ikkaku shrugged, “or a ‘our gruff captain is a secret comic book nerd’ sort of sense.”

“I have over eighty siblings—I think I can handle that,” Pudding deadpanned. She tied up her skirt and turned all three eyes towards her rescuers. “Want to cause some trouble on the way out?”

“You sure that’s fine to do with the crew of your mother’s killer?” Ikkaku wondered, eyebrow raised. Pudding simply shrugged.

“It’s either cause some trouble with you two, or…” she grimaced at the sight of her prior jailers, “I get into trouble with these guys. My options aren’t exactly great right now.”

“Then maybe it’s a good thing that we put extra bunks in the women’s quarters after all,” Lami nodded. She then quickly looked over Pudding with a glance—they didn’t hurt you, did they?”

“No…” The young Charlotte looked at her rescuers cautiously. “You seem pretty calm.”

“Regarding what?” Ikkaku asked. An explosion went off on the other side of the wall, shaking the room they were in. “That’s just the rest of the losers we sail with—nothing more.”

“No, I mean…” She hesitated, not really knowing how to broach the topic she kept so long a secret. “You aren’t freaked out over my eyes.”

“I’m literally one of two known survivors of a mass poisoning event that everyone else thought was a plague, so you’re in luck: we know what it’s like to be stared at by assholes,” Lami shrugged. “Besides, that eye of yours reads Poneglyphs, correct?”

“Supposedly…”

“Then you’re going to love what we’ve got waiting for you.” Lami gestured towards the door with her head as another rumble shook them, though not quite as violently. “How ‘bout it? Prove to your family you can do something without them?”

“…and what makes you think I have that sort of family…?”

“You said it yourself, kid: you’ve got over eighty siblings.” Ikkaku nervously eyed what she hoped was not the ballast tank and laughed awkwardly. “C’mon ladies, we should really get out of here before our cover’s blown!”

Another rumble rocked the ship and the three got going, headed back towards the miniature docking sub and away from the mess. They got out and Ikkaku sent a pulse through the water, letting Shachi and Penguin know it was alright to begin attacking the ship in earnest.

Mission accomplished.

[sarah-hell-pit]

Chapters 1 and 2: The Ancient Magnus Bride (thoughts and commentary)

I recently started The Ancient Magus Bride. It’s not bad so far- the world building seems promising, if a little bit convenient. I like the idea of there being wizards and magi, the latter of which use actual “magic” to (temporarily) change the laws of reality and allow what they want to happen (or transform, I guess.)

I’m not a shoujo or fantasy person by and large, but this definitely has me intrested.

Not sure if I like faeries being small, cute winged creatures (come on, isn’t that overdone? the good people are beings from another world but they don’t actually look like that. At least according to what I’ve read. But other details seemed accurate (they aren’t inherently to be trusted, they live in another world called Faerie)

I like that Magus (do we know his name yet?) has an animal skull head, which raises a lot of questions as soon as you learn that magic has the ability to physically alter its users if they are careless…

meanwhile, the early on plot twist is that Magus plans on wedding his newly purchased apprentice.

Usually, these kinds of stories don’t appeal much to me because I find them cringeworthy (nothing more romantic than being literally owned by a man as a wife, am I right?) Honestly I think Magus not having a humanoid head helps a lot with that. It puts the story a little more into Beauty and the Beast territory. It also helps that our main character is suicidal. I mean, if I were an unloved orphan living in poverty with nothing to hope for, ostracized by both family and peers, I too would prefer to be bought by some rich weird incel hermit if it meant I had any shot at actually being wanted and respected. Or having any purpose in life, in general.

Magus offers her all of the above. Plus, she was expensive, so she knows he’s serious about it all.

I mean… I’d never be into it, but I, too, would 100% tolerate living with a weird rich man as his wife if he gave me a home, positive reinforcement, and a life’s purpose that I could do well. Like… easy— I’ll do it. (long as he didn’t mind making love to the human equivalent of a body pillow…)

Anyways. Onto the next chapter.

[mauv-the-bluest-alt-ever]

(this is very much work in progress post - _ -)

my name is ciniy mauv 

they | he | ey | it

19 y.o.

i occasionally post my artwork here, i usually just reblog stuff. you can send me requests or ask questions. use of tone tags / indicators is very appreciated <3

my carrd for more specific yet general information about me.

this post gets edited from time to time mind you /np

stuff that you’ll definitely see here:

text reblogs that are either funnies or serious posts or whatever, random stuff really.

similar to text reblogs are pictures / photos reblogs. although, these pictures tend to be either weirdcore-ish, photos of nature, art that isnt any fandom in particular, ect. they can be worthy of a cw / tw (i’ll make sure to tag all the reblogs if needed and just tag all the posts properly in general - - (they arent all rn) )

minecraft and mcyt, mainly hermitcraft (number of selected hermits) and maybe singular ccs like stampy, i know jackshit about DSMP though and i dont want to change that lmao. /nm

spooky month and specifically bob velseb.

tags: (unfinished)

mauv stuff — drawings, knittings and other things that i made / will make myself.

photos — serene photos of nature, mostly.

weird — weirdcore-ish pictures, can contain other -cores or something that isn’t anything of mentioned above but fits the vibe.

blue — i love color blue it is the most color ever

collections — collections of anything, like mood boards, stim boards, just a number of things in one post.

queer stuff — mostly are those aformentioned text posts that are either funnies or serious and are about lgbtqai+.

neurodivergent stuff — i suspest that i am neurodivergent and those posts just can be pretty helpful.

kin moment — i am cat therian

art stuff — posts reagrding topic of art, mostly drawn/visual because i specialize in that.

random — trully random posts.

fandom tags.

[activate-shadow-of-the-window]

Looking back on all my fanfic for Horizons so far, I’ve got:

- Mostly coherent story that I can’t believe I wrote as my first fic (Cracking like a dry branch in a westward wind)

- Slow and steady but also procrastination victim full of angst and way too many plot lines (Give me back my heart, you wingless thing)

- Month long challenge where I can’t remember how I wanted it to end so it’s a massive cliffhanger (Legend has it that the moss grows on the north side of the trees)

- War story prequel with a mile of notes and nowhere near enough actual writing (Among the mountains of everlong)

- Weird sequel with weirder worldbuilding and even weirder symbolism and character development (We’ll sing a song of days gone by)

- Long, long, looooooooong backstories for every. Single. Hermit. (Everyone’s listening to that fiddler’s heart)

- Fooling around for when procrastinating on one of the above isn’t enough (A kindling, of sorts)

What the hell am I doing

Like, generally but also specifically with this continuity

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week (#180):

Harakiri - Surprising First Watch, and my first by Masaki Kobayashi. The highest-rated film on Letterbox (4.69/5.00 score based on 109,000 reviews), and 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes. An exploration of the Bushido code of honor, told in a spartan style and stark formalism. (Photo Above).

🍿

"Oh, how I'd like to own a fish store..."

King of Jazz is a strange pre-code potpourri of spectacular musical numbers and mad-cap revue bits - all in early (1930) magnificent Technicolor. Experimental in parts and irreverent in others, its an old-fashioned Hollywood extravaganza and vaudeville-hall silliness mixed into an incoherent string of unrelated numbers. There's a sadomasochistic spanking number, a surrealist 'Happy Feet' number decades before Steve Martin, A Mexican band with giant sombreros, contortionists, bizarre chorus girls, red-cheeked Bing Crosby, a sudden appearance of a black baby caressed by the band leader. It's really weird.

🍿

My favorite kind of discovery in the course of this project is the random movie I never heard of and which comes from some far-flung cinematic corner. Better still if they don't even have a Wikipedia page, and best is if they're really good.

The Finnish parody A patriotic man (2013) fits the bill. It's about the unexpected adventures of one ungainly middle-age man with somehow unusual blood type. Like many other Finnish dramas, it's dour, unsexy, seemingly-simple, and it's full of smoking, drinking, and people speaking Finnish. It doesn't have a strong dramatic 'center', but I am still going to look for the other films by director Arto Halonen.

🍿

Hit man, the latest (and most commercial?) popcorn fluff piece from Richard Linklater. A nerd teacher by day and fake hit man by night falls for a dame who wants to kill her abusive husband. Netflix chum. 6/10.

🍿

3 more Danish films, 2 scripted by Anders Thomas Jensen:

🍿 At World's End (2006), a completely unexpected action-comedy in the Indonesian rain forest, in search of the white lotus of eternal life. Strange fun with an likely hero, an uptight psychiatrist who is sent to the jungle to examine Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, a Ex-Danish hermit charged of a lethal attack on a David Attenborough-type TV-crew.

Anders Thomas Jensen had written numerous stories where ordinary Danes find themselves in peril in exotic lands, but this is the wildest of them. If he was also the director here, this would have been an even funnier & more successful film. 7/10.

🍿 Clash of egos (2006), written by ATJ. The conflict here is between a short-triggered guy with some serious angry management issues, and a passive-aggressive film-director who make pretentious, art-house garbage, a-la Lars von Trier. It ends up as a parody on the small Danish film world. Mildly funny.

🍿 What a life - What a night - What a beautiful, beautiful ride...

Another re-watch of Another round ♻️. The experiment of staying buzzed all day is the hook, but the story is more about a midlife crisis, with the quiet desperation of Danish middle class men, than about alcohol and drinking. It would be nice if Mads Mikkelsen were to dance more in his movies. 9/10.

🍿

"Love isn't easy. That's why they call it love..."

Because of the 'We lost 19 of our best guys' clip, I watched The big sick again, for the 3rd or 4th time. Is this one of the greatest modern rom-coms? I feel that I've said exactly that last time too. Their romance and relationship are just so cute. 9/10. ♻️.

🍿

"...Wait, wait! You don't have to do this! I have kids at home! ....

Not with that ass, lady, you don't...."

And another frequent re-watch: Game Night ♻️, the only good film that Rachel McAdams played in since 'Spotlight'.

🍿

6 documentaries:

🍿 Very much like the German documentary 'Into Great Silence', Athos (2016) intimately describes the spiritual life of an ascetic monastery. This 'Holy Mountain' religious community is an autonomic government in Northern Greece. 2000 monks lives on a beautiful isolated area, and no women are allowed to set foot there - It's the ultimate patriarchy!

For people who love Gregorian chants, Vermeer lightening, Orthodox ossuaries, and the idea of resigning for this world, it's a slow, comforting glide, with all-natural sound and no talk-overs. 9/10.

🍿 Another of Ken Burns' American sagas, The dust bowl (2012), again narrated by Peter Coyote’s soothing voice. I was not aware that it was partially a man-made catastrophe, caused by the irresponsible farm practice of overproduction of wheat on land better suited to grazing. Also about photographer Arthur Rothstein. At 4 hours, it was a bit long, but oh well...

🍿 ...The Godfather, The Conversation, Godfather II, Dog Day Afternoon, and The Deer Hunter...

I knew it was you: Rediscovering John Cazale (2009) is a fawning assessment of the guy who starred in only 5 films, but they were all masterpieces. He was very special, but this Talking Heads approach was off-putting.

🍿 Paragraph 175, a moving story of the persecution of homosexuals by the Nazi regime. It is told via interviews with some older gay survivors, which in 2000 were among the only 10 known still-living ex-victims.

🍿 “Hey. How about we order some Chinese? - Order some Chinese to do what?…”

Grass is a 1999 Canadian documentary about the American government war on marijuana. What horrendous crimes were committed during the sickening century of the "war on drugs"! And what do you know, all along it was just another part of a racist policy against blacks and Mexicans. Fuck Harry J. Anslinger, Edgar Hoover, Nixon, Reagan and Bush Sr. And also fuck Bill Clinton et. al. Narrated by pothead Woody Harrelson.

🍿 How Chris Silverman Makes Art In the iOS Notes App - more of a YouTube interview about my favorite digital illustrator. I posted quiet a few of his illustrations before.

🍿

A different experience? Darren Aronofsky's latest Postcard from Earth. A science fiction fantasy which was created for display at the $2 billion Las Vegas 'Sphere'. Part tourist postcard from 2001 Space Odyssey, but mostly a National Geography / BBC Earth nature doc, done with the biggest, most immersive camera and display systems. Latest drone work, IMAX Super and highest resolution "available today".

Obviously I saw it on Youtube, not "Live". But, it looks like what 'Koyaanisqatsi' did better 40 years earlier.

🍿

3 Shorts:

🍿 ‘E’ (1981), my second by Czech puppeteer Břetislav Pojar. Not everybody reads an E-sculpture as 'E'. Some see it as 'B'.

🍿 Peter and Ben (2007), a sweet story about two loners: A guy who lives in a beautiful, empty valley in Wales and a lamb who bonds with him, and won't leave.

🍿 The swearer (2017), made by an Israeli youngster, as part of film studies at some high school. They posted 98 entries on their YouTube channel, and this was the most popular with 1.3M views. But it was very juvenile. 2/10.

🍿

Because Françoise Hardy died today (at the age of 80!), I watched one of her movies. Sadly, I picked What's new, pussycat?, Woody Allen's first produced play. A terrible, disgusting "comedy" about 3 lecherous cads, proudly sex-crazed misogynists in Paris, who try to fuck anything that move. It's hard to look back and imagine there was a time when the promiscuous Woody Allen character was acceptable as the ideal of a sexy lover. Here he modeled himself after Groucho Marx, and even copied 'The stateroom scene' from a 'Night in the opera' during the final orgy scene. I would have quit this piece of shit many times, but I waited to see 21-year-old Françoise Hardy. Unfortunately, she appeared in the very last scene! 1/10.

RIP, Françoise Hardy! (I'll always play your Tous les garçons et les filles with Léa Seydoux. Or La Question...)

🍿

I only saw one movie by M. Night Shyamalan before ('Old'), so I tried another. The Happening sounded okay, because 'Hey, a thriller about mass suicide'. But it was unwatchable from the very first scenes: Atrocious script, horrible acting, poor mise-en-scene, just a bunch of 'odd, inexplicable things happening' one after the other. I forced myself to stay awake for 25 minutes, but any longer, I would have committed suicide too.

🍿

"Today I learnt that" on September 10, 2001, resident curmudgeon George Carlin recorded an album called I Kinda Like It When a Lotta People Die. In the set's 10-minute maniacal closer, "Uncle Dave", Carlin explains why he likes "big, fatal disasters with lots of dead people". It also involves references to Osama bin Laden and an exploding airplane.

Needless to say, this ornery tirade was shelved in the afternoon of the very next day. The posthumously-released album included a very weak rant from 1957 and interviews with some friends. The second best joke was about the guy who invented the first enema.

🍿  

(My complete movie list is here).

[merthwyn]

Evangelicals are weird. They despise ascetic life because we're called to "be in the world but not of this world" but when they meet someone who struggles with loneliness and rejection they rebuke him for "wanting to be of this world" and tell him that "Jesus is all they need". They also despise traditionalists for their tradition calling it "worldly" and the same time you can't tell if their church building is actually a church or a cinema and and if their music is actually Christian or some Ed Sheeran or Taylor Swift song.

When I was a "hardcore Evangelical" I had the same behaviour towards ascetic life that I described above. As for communion, it was just something I "liked doing". The Liturgy itself was dull, boring and of minor importance. Now, the more I go back to my roots (a.k.a. traditional denominations like Orthodoxy, Catholicism and High Anglicanism) I can see that ascetic life, communion and Liturgy are crucial to my life. One of my goals is to dive more into the life of the hermites. I'm sure this will be crucial to my faith, especially now that I struggle with it. During the Liturgy I feel at home. As for communion, it is now that I struggle with the image of God that I wish I could receive it every single day. As I am still affected by Evangelical beliefs, I asked my priest about whether I should stop receiving it because of my faith issues and I was scared of what the answer will be. Luckily, he said that there's no reason for me to do that. It's not that I'm an atheist or I mock God. I just struggle. I'm sick. And sick people are not banned from recieving communion. I was really relieved..

I feel like the prodigal son who left home to live his life. Evangelicalism for me was this "life" I wanted to live. Now I'm on the way back home, as I saw that this "life" emptied myself.

What's one aspect of Apostolic Christianity (Orthodoxy and Catholicism) you could never live without and why?

The Eucharist for sure. The entire Liturgy revolves around consuming the Flesh and Blood of our Lord.

[tev-the-random]

I AM AN ABSOLUTE JUMBLED MESS, SO HAVE SOME OF MY MESSY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE CROSSOVER TODAY, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

So far, we've got Tango in Gobland, Scar in Tumble Town, Pearl and Joe in Chromia, Cleo and Xisuma in Eversea, Keralis and Jevin in Sanctuary. Impulse and Grian are kind of making their own places. Did I miss anyone?

There are two kinds of emperors in this crossover: the ones who stick to the lore and claim they don't know the Hermits and the ones who drop everything and yell "MY RANCHER!".

Pix fits the second category, though a lot quieter.

Pearl fits the first, which is strange, considering her role as Literally God. At this point we really can't be sure of what exactly this means for Pearl or for Sausage. What is she?

Gem is her own category. There's something very sus going on with her.

Jimmy absolutely freaking out over seeing Tango again though-

I think at this point it's canon that either people have nametags floating above their heads or everyone is wearing an actual name tag and that's how they all know each other's names even though they never met.

Scott just got a magical flash grenade to the eye. How is this man seeing anything after the entire sky erupted in magic light-

Sausage. I'm not surprised. Not even disappointed. Xisuma most certainly is, though.

Is it a custom in Sanctuary to kiss people on the cheeks or is Sausage like... actively making out with newcomers? I know this is a very weird question, but it's Sausage we're talking about.

Joel adopted the one night armour stand joke lmao-

Tango freaking out over every little thing he sees.

Murder is canonically legal in Empires.

Grian is a force of chaos, as expected.

Rancher duo collabs again, pog? With horns and everything?

And Tango is now an engineer in Gobland, which means Fwhip might have some more to do other than poke the Sheriff. This crossover is a win all around for Jimmy, except for the toy jokes, which may increase, but I will thoroughly ignore that-

There's No Curse In Glimmer Grove.

Sausage keeping tabs on all the Hermits. That' either means that he's not as unsuspecting of them as he may seem or it implies that all Hermits are now their own empiresonas-

Grian's appearance in Tumble Town was so incredibly ominous, holy sh-

Shelby trying to be hospitable but at the same time being a witch inviting unsuspecting people into her hut in the cursed swamp after claiming the fog eats souls and pulling out a scythe. I'd be terrified.

Hats and mounts get passed all around. Is this a crime?

Why does only Pearl get an outfit change? I mean, I know why, but like, canonically speaking, why did it happen?

Still, I felt a bit teary-eyed upon seeing the Arena Duo together again, the Gilded Helianthia dress only made it better. I missed these guys interacting so much, and I don't know if I'm in denial like Sausage or if I'm just about to open a Word document to write an entire one shot about it-

Sausage had a vision of Gilded Helianthia, I'm not ok

Oh god, now we have both Joel and Scar yelling LORE in the same place, save us-

So convenient that E!False decided to travel far away right when HC!False shows up. Smart decision, yes, but at the same time, the fanfic writers must now assemble to make the two of them meet.

Ok, so apparently some people remember the Life series and some people don't. I guess that means that some of the characters, such as Jimmy, Joel and Scar, are the same characters from the Life series after they lost their third life. Other characters, such as Scott and Pearl, are not. But what does this mean?

Fwhip sounded so hurt for a moment when he thought Jimmy made Scar his new deputy. This man is not ok.

Soup Group? Soup Group.

Big ears Scar is cursed.

Sausage is too hospitable for his own good.

Scar's deputy and moral support arc. I'm happy for it, but at the same time, I don't trust it.

On one hand, I do think the wallpaper in Tumble Town looks very pretty and it would be so sad to destroy it. On the other hand, Jimmy deserves some dignity and shouldn't take this slander anymore, I swear to god-

Poor Impulse is so confused, why is this cat lady yelling at him, why are animals walking on two legs, where is he, he's having a crisis-

Stratos' class system gets called out, finally.

Just when Joel was so close to convincing the fandom that he's tall, the Empires' folk shut it down and confirm that they're only playing along and he is not, in fact, tall. Short king is back?

Katherine, when you go around telling everyone, including literal strangers your secret, I don't think it can be considered a secret anymore.

Fwhip encourages crime, such a good deputy of the law.

But then again, it's not stealing, it's borrowing-

Seeing the empires from the Hermits' perspectives is crazy, I hadn't realised just how massive these empires got.

The Hermits are staying for a while. I'm so happy this isn't going to be a one-episode thing, I'm dying to see where this goes!

(I'm trying to watch as many perspectives as I can. Some of them haven't come out yet, and I don't feel like watching Keralis' hour long episode. Can someone tell me what happens there?)

[theminecraftbee]

do you perhaps have any Cleo or Joe thoughts on hermitcraft. right now.

JOE AND CLEO THOUGHTS... yes i definitely have them i'm interpreting this as asking for headcanons probably. so

in-universe explanation for the neverending purgatory of the castle walls being in the wrong place is basically the same as the out-of-universe one: they have two different blueprints, hand-drawn, neither of which are exactly correct mathematically. if you ask joe this is cleo's fault. if you ask cleo this is joe's fault.

technically armor stand book can work on humans too, the human just has to let cleo do it willingly. joe is perfectly willing to be the guinea pig for cleo in this. they have taken some absolutely WILD photographs this way. it's also... mildly terrifying to witness if you haven't before because it's sure eerie to see an actual human person get moved by nudges instead of like, in a normal way. yes joe thinks this is funny to spring on new people.

joe and cleo have an ongoing game of "if someone asks one of us questions about the other one, we come up with a ridiculous lie and try to pass it off as the truth". they keep score. joe is currently winning. however, they get bonus points if they answer with a truth they utterly convince the other party is a lie.

the flowers in cleo's hair aren't just a flower crown. she's a zombie, they're growing there. sometimes they need to be replaced, and joe will help replant them.

the jhost is thanks to joe's ability to like. temporarily knock his soul out of his own body under certain circumstances. it resets at 6 am punxsutawney pa time, because in this house we follow groundhogs day rules. since he always "resets" again at the same time he tends to try to only do this at the end of the day. where did he pick up this ability? practice! how do you practice this? well, joe's no stranger to death loops...

despite the above, joe is entirely human. he's a human who's been around the block so he knows how to do some unusual things, but he's entirely, perfectly human, no matter how many times cleo offers. (cleo's mostly joking when she offers, but it's unspoken between them that if joe for some reason decided not to be human, that offer can be genuine.)

cleo can speak zombie, but it's like, basically an old dialect. somehow, she speaks like, the zombie equivalent of middle english. this makes communicating directly with zombies who don't know how to translate it a little frustrating, but she gets by.

of all the hermits, joe and cleo are the best to go to if you have a disaster you don't want anyone else to know about. they'll help you, no questions asked, and no immediate judgement passed. they'll save the judgement for after the disaster has passed. plus, they've probably been through weirder/more distressing/more illegal, and, outside hypno, they're the best at hiding what they're doing from xisuma if they need to. you'll need to be prepared for cleo later holding it over you for the rest of your life and the fact joe can and will call in debts, but they're surprisingly level-headed about "things you don't want the others knowing".

this is to say that both of them ABSOLUTELY know how to hide a body. actually they have differing opinions on how to hide a body. they'll get into arguments about how to hide the body.

both of them still have a number of weird habits and rituals from back in their early days in super hostile. most of them don't come out unless they're stressed, but some of them - such as joe's aversion to staying awake through the night - are more permanent.

they are very, very good at keeping secrets from literally anyone but each other.

[dmwrites]

“He’s still happy, you know.”

Grian put down the note he’d found on his workbench and sighed very deeply. From weirdness with the rift, to structures he couldn’t quite remember, to, hell, Mumbo looked kind of off too- it had been a very long week. And cryptic notes that required above a fifth grade reading level to comprehend were not something he wanted to deal with.

He picked up the note again. Read it again.

“He’s still happy, you know.”

Here’s what Grian knew. One. The note was not there a few minutes ago. He’d only left the room to get a tool he’d left outside, and then it had been there when he returned. Two. The note was handwritten, but not by anyone he recognized. No hermit wrote this- all of their handwriting was quite distinctive. Three. Grian had no idea who “he” was, and frankly, he didn’t care to.

Grian walked over to the furnace and dropped the note into the coals. The paper curled up and blackened, and that was the end of it.

Grian had a headache. He considered going to his starter base to sleep, but frankly, he couldn’t muster up the energy to fly. Half asleep, he shambled over to the bed he kept in the corner and lifted up the blanket. He was met with words.

Grian shook his head rapidly with confusion, and then anger. Was this some kind of prank? There were at least a hundred pieces of paper on his mattress, all with typed notes on them. Without moving them, Grian could see “hello!” “Why am I here?” “What is love?” “How did I get here?” “Hello Grian!” “Mumbo for mayor!” “Goodbye dads”

“Wait, what?” Grian said out loud, grasping at the notes and adjusting his glasses. No, his tired eyes hadn’t mistaken him. That was the very distinct font of-

There was a soft scrape of a paper hitting the floor. There was a note just resting against Grian’s bedroom door. Grian plucked it off the ground, hands shaking.

“You didn’t forget about him, did you?” The note was handwritten, same as the last one.

“What? No? Who- Mumbo, are you here? This isn’t cool, man!”

There was only silence. And then another soft whisper. Grian turned around and watched another note fall to the ground as if it just appeared from the ceiling. Grian looked up, but there was nothing there. He picked up the newest note.

“Your son still lives in a lie.”

“A lie?” There had to be someone here, even if he couldn’t see them. So Grian argued with the open air. “We did that to protect him! Grumbot would have died of a broken heart if he thought we had lost! That’s what love is- sometimes you just have to lie!”

He knew the note was coming, and this time he caught it in his note-filled fist. This one was written faster, sloppier.

“You’ve imprisoned him and forgotten about him. He rusts away in his prison of a fantasy, and he loves you.”

The headache was getting worse. Grian felt like just stomping his feet in frustration.

“Whoever you are, you have no right to come here accusing me of any of this! Grumbot is a mac-”

Another note was falling. Grian let it. He could see what it said without picking it up.

“He loves you.”

Grian sighed, wiping away tears he didn’t understand. He sorted though the notes in his hand, and found the one in text. Any handwritten ones got thrown into the furnace. The typed ones on his bed got scooted to the floor, except for the one in his hand. He took that one and tacked it to the wall, right next to his head. He could hear more papers falling to the floor, but he ignored them, turning off the lights and getting into bed. By the light of a single, stuttering candle, he read the typed words over and over again until he fell asleep.

“Goodbye dads”