#I am-as the kids say-shook
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apesoformythoughts · 28 days ago
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“One general description of madness, it seems to us, might be found in the statement that madness is a preference for the symbol over that which it represents. The most obvious example is the religious maniac, in whom the worship of Christianity involves the negation of all those ideas of integrity and mercy for which Christianity stands.
But there are many other examples. Money, for example, is a symbol; it symbolises wine and horses and beautiful vesture and high houses, the great cities of the world and the quiet tent by the river. The miser is a madman, because he prefers money to all these things; because he prefers the symbol to the reality.
But books are also a symbol; they symbolise man's impression of existence, and it may at least be maintained that the man who has come to prefer books to life is a maniac after the same fashion as the miser. A book is assuredly a sacred object. In a book certainly the largest jewels are shut in the smallest casket. But that does not alter the fact that superstition begins when the casket is valued more than the jewels. This is the great sin of idolatry, against which religion has so constantly warned us […]
Idolatry exists wherever the thing which originally gave us happiness becomes at last more important than happiness itself. Drunkenness, for example, may be fairly described as an engrossing hobby. And drunkenness is, when really comprehended in its inward and psychological reality, a typical example of idolatry […]
Now in this sense bibliomania is capable of becoming a kind of drunkenness. There is a class of men who do actually prefer books to everything with which books are concerned, to lovely places, to heroic actions, to experiment, to adventure, to religion. They read of godlike statues, and are not ashamed of their own frowsy and lazy ugliness; they study the records of open and magnanimous deeds, and are not ashamed of their own secretive and self-indulged lives. They have become citizens of an unreal world, and, like the Indian in his Paradise, pursue with shadowy hounds a shadowy deer. And that way lies madness.
In the limbo of the misers and the drunkards, which is the limbo of idolators, many great scholars may be found. Here, as in almost all ethical problems, the difficulty arises far less from the presence of some vicious tendency than from the absence of some essential virtues. The possibilities of mental derangement which exist in literature are due not so much to a love of books as to an indifference to life and sentiment and everything that books record.
In an ideal state, gentlemen who were immersed in abstruse calculations and discoveries would be forced by Act of Parliament to talk for forty-five minutes to an ostler or a landlady, and to ride across Hampstead Heath on a donkey. They would be examined by the State, but not in Greek or old armour, which are their pleasures, and in which they may be trusted as safely as children at cross-touch. They would be examined in Cockney dialect, or in the colours of various omnibuses. They would be purged of all the tendencies which have sometimes brought lunacy out of learning; they would be taught to become men of the world, which is a step towards becoming men of the Universe.”
— G.K. Chesterton: “Lunacy and Letters”
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gojoest · 9 days ago
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not to be tmi about it, but once upon a time life presented me the opportunity to have a fiery romance with my favorite journalist with whom i have a 25 yr age gap and who is a dilf
#— ai rambles#who is also a writer and now he’s a politician LOL#he’s not what you consider objectively attractive but i was in love with his brain#back then he also worked in the radio so i listened to him and read everything religiously#i admired him so much….#and i ended up sending him a friend request on FB lmao#which he accepted I WAS SHOOK#i was in uni back then 1st year ended it was summer break into my 2nd year#he texted me….and i couldn’t believe it like the man i’ve admired for so long is talking to me??????#so we slowly started texting every day….until at some point he was sending me books by mail for me to read#we were talking about meeting when i got back to [redacted] where my uni is and where i live now#bc during summer breaks i was usually at my parents house in my hometown#but i chickened out guys bc 1) the age gap scared me i was like super young okay#and 2) i wasn’t sure if he wasn’t with the woman he had kids from#men can say anything to you and you should never trust them 🤞#i did a hardcore research on the internet all fbi mode to find out about any possible clues that might hint at him still being#involved with her but i couldn’t find anything bc he’s super private about his life 💔#i slowly distanced myself from him bc what if they were still together#i didn’t want to be a homewrecker#i can be anything but i’ll never be that#i just had my doubts and suspicions and i am glad i bailed like that bc now that woman is listed as his partner when you search him up#which ofc doesn’t mean they were together all along maybe they separated and got back together#but feels like i dodged a bullet LOL#he still likes my posts on FB though and by posts i mean my photos i share from ig#but yea LOL#idk why i was suddenly reminded of him#maybe he’s thinking about me too LMAO
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teal-raccoon · 2 years ago
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Q!Charlie Slimecicle and His Inner Conflict
Content Warning: Discussion of S//H, s****de, depression, and alcoholism
I think that, despite his best efforts, Q!Slimecicle will likely lose himself. He has been ruined. A once carefree and happy-go-lucky person (or, I suppose, slime,) has regressed into a sad, self-depreciative wreck. Maybe he’d have been able to heal, but everyone around him simply eggs him on. (See what I did there?) As it stands, he is past the point of no return. For example: Foolish, although having relatively good intentions, taught Slime to self harm through tasing in order to 'make the sad/pain go away.' Slime himself has already been using alcohol as a form of escapism, including heading to Las Casualonas nearly every time he's in a state of turmoil. He has been broken. I don't blame him, of course. What is one to do when your daughter dies (twice, may I mention) and the last thing she says to you is that she hates you? What do you do when you couldn't even kill even one child despite having ample chances to do so, yet you murder your nibling, aka your daughter's best friend, in an accident? A misclick, even? What do you do when you can’t be there for her as she is ripped away from you mere days after returning? What do you do when everyone you love turns on you? What do you do when anyone who gets close to you ends up worse off than if they'd never met you?
Charlie doesn't know the answers. So, he turns to Gegg. Gegg is confident. Gegg is silly. Gegg is, to some, lovable. Gegg is the embodiment of Slime’s brand, or what it once was, at least. To put it simply, Gegg is, well, he's Gegg. And he's also what Slime wishes he could be. He yearns for a fresh start, for a second chance. Something no one will give him unless he changes himself for it. As has been witnessed, being Gegg hurts Charlie. Every time he changes, it gets more painful. He blacks out. This isn’t a joke anymore. He's losing himself. If Gegg is elected president, chances are, Charlie eventually won't be able to change back. He might forget Mariana. Tilín. Juanaflippa. Slime finally has a chance to get people to love him, but.. what will he lose in the process?
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astrum99 · 11 months ago
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This blog is weirdly therapeutic for me.
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kimaisalloren · 1 year ago
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One time in college, me, and the other two Mexican kids were given sheets informing us about one thing or another and on the backside was in Spanish. So one of the other Mexicans was like “they gave this to us in case we couldn’t speak English lol” because none of the other students had Spanish on the back of their sheets but us but then the teacher no joke was like “NO they WOULDNT DO that they KNOW you three speak English it’s just reused paper because we RECYCLE.” And when we pointed out the Mexican kids with fuckin Mexican last names were the ONLY ONES who got it she was like “it’s just coincidence” like the kid with the Arab last name didn’t get hers in Arabic. The kid with the good Germanic last name didn’t get his in German and we were laughing ab that
Like it was funny af that she was so adamant it wasn’t racist and just coincidence and none of us said it was racist we just thought it was funny?? Not to mention two of three of us couldn’t read Spanish 😭 like she made it racist-
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eyrieofsynapses · 6 days ago
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me, last night/early morning: okay, super tired today. let's get to bed at a semi-reasonable time so I'm not exhausted tomorrow again and do the reading before class
upstairs housemate, six hours later (as per fucking usual): let's WALK SUPER HEAVILY and SLAM ALL DOORS and CREAK THE FLOORBOARDS and--
me: fucking fine, earplugs
earplugs: oh what's that? you want us to block out the heavy vibrations of your housemate walking around? naaah bro sorry. we'll block out just enough for you to be half-conscious though
*half an hour later*
neighbor's probably alarm clock: BLASTING :D SO LOUD WE GO THRU EARPLUGS LIKE BUTTER :D AND YOUR PILLOW :D
me: fine. FINE. I'll sleep in after y'all leave.
me, an hour later, getting up: I literally threw something at the ceiling because I was so tired yesterday and today is worse. what the fuck.
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gamblersdoll · 27 days ago
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divorced husband! katsuki who’s still in love with you— always breaking a potential relationship up. and it takes one simple thing: a text.
finally pressing through the woods of dating pools, apps and events, you thought you could get a break. a fucking deserved break! no more heroes, just civilians. theyd make more time and effort for the relationship! thats all you thought about, effort and time. it takes you a couple of times to finally emerge into the dating pools, but it was working.
was working, until that fuck decided to text you.
“hows your date going, baby? you know daddy misses you.”
your heart drops, how the actual fuck did he know that you were on a date?? you wanted to grind your teeth, your date sweaty now.
“so.. you used to date— dynamight?” he asks, hoping and praying that you didnt, because he knew hed be fucked up if you did. he had so many questions, for how long? when ? did you guys have kids?—
“we were married, but i divorced him.” you say, sighing when he quickly gathers his things to dine and dash out the semi fancy restaurant. another spoiled date, you thought. or maybe the date you chose was simply a bitch, obviously you wouldnt want that.
but he was the seventh spoiled date, for some reason— conveniently, katsuki was always aware.
“why do you make me do this, baby?” he whispered in your ear, hands in your panties copping a feel of your plump ass. he sucks in a breath, almost like he was resisting the temptation to get on his knees.. again. “what with all these dates ‘nd shit..? you really wanna move on from me?”
“we’re— fuck.. divorced, you perverted asshole.” you grit, trying your best to push him away. “get off and out.”
“jeez, you’re pickin’ up on my language.” he snickers, reminiscing on his art that littered your neck. “you vowed to me, ya know? that yer’ always mine.”
a irritation grew over you. “when you married me, and you werent always away from me.” you remind, putting salt in the wound. “maybe if you were around , we’d be married and you would have every right to do this.”
now he was irritated, flipping you onto your stomach on what used to be your dining table. he chuckled, pulling your head back by your hair and wagging his finger in your face. you somewhat missed when he did this, dominating you in the bedroom. “ah ah, i still have every right.” he coos, his fingers flicking at your entrance and slipping pass. “you havent gotten away from me, not at all.”
“katsuki—“
“uh uh, quiet.” he commands, pressing your face against the table as he hikes your leg up to crouch. “has this pretty little thing missed me?”
“no, i havent missed you.” that was a lie, a terrible one..
he leaves a slap on your ass, spitting on your clit. “meant this pretty pussy, girl.” he snarks, pulling you back by your hips to have a face full of your cunt. your breath hitches, him laughing vibrating against your skin. “still so fucking sweet.. bet you havent came in months, have you little slut?”
you nod, toes curling in embarrassment, pleasure, and sensitivity.
“you remember who yer daddy is, do ya?” he asks, tongue swirling around your clit. his hands press against the under cup of your ass, squeezing and jiggling. “i am, im yer daddy.” he reminds, licking up from your clit to your back to kiss. “how bad do you want me, baby? use your words.”
you couldnt , using your eyes. “please.”
“cmon’, dont tell me only months being separated you forget yer manners.” he raises an eyebrow, suddenly his tip was smearing pre up and down your slit. “do i need to remind you basics, baby?”
you shook your head frantic, he bitting his lip to bite back the urge to bite you.
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kleefkruid · 3 months ago
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Guys, I had one of the weirdest 15 minutes of my life yesterday, as if some higher power put me in a jar and shook me around for a very short time and then let me out again.
But before I can tell the story I need to quickly make sure everyone has the context: Kotelet, the stray I took in had 2 bigger kittens and was super pregnant. These are the cutlets 1.0 and 2.0, you’ve mostly seen the second gen as they were born with me. But the two initial kittens went to Danny. They were very wild and we tried to socialize them, but in the process unfortunately one of them got out and was lost forever. This was way back in the beginning of August. The other kitten became Dietzel and recently Danny adopted one of the 2.0 gen to keep him company since we sadly never found the other kitten again… Okay keeping that in mind I can tell my story.
Yesterday around 2 I left my house to go to Danny. While waiting for my tram I was texting someone who is coming to adopt the last kitten. This combined with the nose cold I’ve been having made me a bit inattentive, and I got on the wrong tram. Not too big of a problem, bc this tram also travels close by Danny, I just had to walk one kilometer. A 15 minute walk. What could happen in that time right, I’ve done this route so often.
I get of the tram and I cross a bigger intersection. Open sky above me, as is typical for an intersection. Light goes green, I’m on the crosswalk. Suddenly, and with a loud slap, a pigeon drops dead on the ground in front of me.
I look at the pigeon. I look at the clear sky. I look back at the pigeon. I look back up. I notice the cables of the tram that go over the crosswalk, and realize it must have flown into the cables, and was killed by electrocution. At least it died instantly. Not a bad way to go for a pigeon. One moment it was going “weeeh I’m a bird”, next thing the lights went out.
The crosswalk light had turned red. Normally this would be immediately be followed by irritated honking, but as I make eye contact with the driver perpendicular to me, he also points at the cables and we exchange some “crazy right??” looks while I hurry to the side of the road.
“What’s it called again when people tell fortune by looking at birds?” I think, (it’s Ornithomancy) “the ancients Greeks did it, I remember it from the Odyssey… sure hope it’s not a bad omen!” I imagine a Greek augur predicting a war or whatever when a bird drops straight from the sky and someone going “is that bad?” I chuckle to myself, just a tiny bit nervous, and I continue my walk. Not long to go now.
“Pigeon dropped dead in front of me” I triple text Danny “Crazy. Electrocuted by the tram infrastructure. Super dead in an instance.”
A neighborhood cat cheerfully walks by me. I automatically lean down to pet it, can’t cross a friendly cat without saying hi! It’s a teenage tuxedo.
WAIT.
The cat looks at me. It has a little white moustache. It starts sniffing my boots like crazy.
Could it be…
Squatting on the sidewalk, I go in my pictures folder and frantically search for pictures of the cutlets 1.0 The cat leans against me. I find a picture where the kitten has a distinctive black mark on the back of its otherwise white socks. I stare down.
On the back of its legs it has a distinctive black mark.
“You got to be kidding me” I say. “Sniff sniff” says the cat. He headbutts me again.
I am 350 meters from Danny’s door. Obviously I don’t have anything with me. A car drives close by. I gotta do something, so I pick him up. And he lets me. And I just start walking.
After a 100 meters, he wants to go down again, so holding him in a sitting position, I grasp his hind legs with one hand, like they hold wild birds when ringing them, and my other arm goes across him to squeeze him against my chest and I hold his front paws. He meows a little and bites me so very lightly. He just kinda presses his teeth against my skin to communicate he’s not impressed by my action, but that’s all. He’s still pretty tiny after all.
I ring the doorbell, and Danny buzzes me in. “Bring a carrier!” I yell trough the speaker. “What?? Why??” “Just come down!”
He opens te door and looks confused. “Is that Kotelet??” is his first question, as they look alike. “No, try again” I say. Now Danny’s eyes go wide. “No. It’s not possible…”
It’s been more than 3 months. Danny just starts crying out of shock. I start laughing. Both losing it in different ways about the absurdity of the situation.
We’re in Danny’s living room. The little guy is eating all the wet food he can and promptly passes out. We just stare at him. The other cats are peeking in from the bedroom. I look at its white paws, all grey from the street. He purrs. We sit in silence, kind of forgetting to blink.
“Did you see my text about the pigeon that dropped dead in front of me.”
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no-144444 · 15 days ago
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total wipe out- l.norris
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summary: lando has a chance encounter that changes his life
pairing: lando norris x fem! single mom! reader
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Lando had a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. This time, his skiing holiday had turned into a disaster when he fucking ran over a child. Impressive, I know. The second he did it he slowed down and started to book it back to the kid who was probably sobbing crying (he’d hit it at full force). 
“Are you alright?!” he stressed, picking up the kid (who had been stuck in the snow). 
And the fucker was giggling. 
“That was fun!” he cheered, clapping his hands. “Do it again!” 
Did he have brain damage? Did he just give a child fucking brain damage? 
“Alex!” you shouted, stopping beside the two of them. “Are you alright?” you asked, taking him in your arms and checking him over. 
“I’m fine mommy! I had so much fun!”
You stared at your son, unimpressed. The mini heart attack you’d just had was all for nothing. “You’re a weird fucking kid,” you mumbled under your breath, making Lando laugh. You turned to him. “I am so sorry about him, I always tell him to stay by me, but he doesn’t listen-”
Lando chuckled, holding a hand up to stop you. “I am almost sure it was my fault, so I am very sorry. I hope he’s alright and I didn’t give him brain damage or something.”
You laughed. “Let’s hope not,” you smiled. “Sorry again.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry too.”
And with that, you and Alex skated off. 
“What the fuck was that?!” Max shouted, coming up beside him with Pietra hot on his tail. “YOU JUST WIPED OUT A KID!” 
Lando rolled his eyes. Max, ever the pessimist. 
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As he sat in his cabin, just finished winning a game of poker, he sighed, thinking of you and Alex. Obviously, Lando hadn’t seen anything other than your hair (which he thought was gorgeous), and your eyes when you’d lifted your sunglasses to look over Alex. You had hauntingly beautiful eyes, and he was slightly upset with himself that he hadn’t tried to chat with you longer. You were sweet, kind, funny, beautiful (he just knew you were gorgeous). He wanted to know more. 
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Hanging around the same slope as yesterday in hopes of seeing you there was probably not his best idea, but alas, his dumb plan worked. He saw the familiar dinosaur helmet on the 4 year olds head, and he smiled when he noticed Alex whizzing up to him. 
“Alex!” he cheered, watching him come down the mountain, a bright smile on his face. 
Alex walked over and wrapped his arms around Lando’s legs. “Did you see?” he questioned, looking up at him. 
Lando’s heart ached, he adored children. Alex was definitely not helping his raging baby fever. “I did bud! That was awesome.”
“Are you a professional skier?” he asked.
“No,” Lando smiled, kneeling down to meet his eyes. Your eyes, just smaller. “But I am a professional athlete.”
“What sport?!” he asked, his eyes going wide. “My favourite sport is Formula One, but I like all sports anyway.”
“Who’s your favourite driver?” Lando asked, suppressing a smirk as he took his balaclava down. 
“Lando Norris!” he cheered, jumping up and down. 
Lando finally took off his goggles and Alex’s jaw dropped. “Holy shit!” he almost shouted, making Lando laugh. 
“Alex!” you scolded, walking over to him. “What did we say about bad words?” 
“Momma look, he’s Lando Norris!” Alex cheered, pulling on your jacket. 
“Holy shit,” you mumbled, looking at him. “Hi, I’m Y/n, and this is Alex,” you introduced. “We meet again.”
He smiled. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“Do you mind if Alex gets a picture with you? You’re his favourite driver,” you asked, trying to sound less awkward than it felt. 
“Of course, I’d love to,” Lando smiled, more than happy to get in a photo with him. Alex stood up beside him, hugging him, as Lando smiled wide and bright. You quickly snapped a picture and thanked him. 
“Momma, can we go again?” Alex asked, pointing at the top of the mountain. 
“We should probably head in for dinner darling,” you said. Alex frowned. “You’re hungry, I know you’re hungry.”
Alex huffed. “I want to go again though.”
“We’ll go again tomorrow,” you smiled, patting his back. 
“Alright,” he smiled. “Bye bye Lando!” 
“Thanks again,” you smiled at him. 
“I’m heading in too now,” he said. “Mind if I join you guys?”
You stared at him for a second. “Um, yeah, sure,” you smiled. “Of course.”
Alex beamed and held Lando’s hand as you all walked back to the resort. 
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Dinner was just listening to Alex ask Lando questions about his life, about the cars, about everything. It was cute, and Lando was so willing to listen to every question, and adequately answer them. As dinner went on, you noticed the way he kept looking over at you, soft, sweet, staring that didn’t make you uncomfortable. And when he was the one carrying Alex back up to your hotel room, and wishing him sweet dreams, he didn’t mind it. 
“Thanks for everything today, you’ve definitely made his year,” you chuckled. 
“It was nice to meet you guys. Alex is a lovely kid,” he nodded, but there was still something unsaid. He wanted to ask for your number, but didn’t want to overstep, and he could feel the tension between you two. “I’m just going to say this, and you can totally say no and I’ll back off but could I get your number?”
You stared at him. “Is that a joke?” you asked, unsure. 
“Oh shit, are you married? Fuck I didn’t know-”
“No, no! I’m not. It’s just… you’re… y’know, and I’m not. I’m a single mom and you’re a racecar driver.”
He shrugged. “And? I really like you, and Alex.”
“Be realistic Lando, what would people say?” 
“That I’ve got a very hot and sweet girlfriend and a cute stepson?” he smirked and you playfully pushed him. 
“You can have my number, but I’m not promising any of that,” you chuckled, grabbing your phone.
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Australian GP. First race of the season. 
And you were sitting in Lando’s hotel room before he had to go to the track. How your life had changed in the past few months. You were officially dating an F1 driver, you’d been to Monaco a lot, Lanod had visited London a lot, and you were happy. Alex adored Lando, they literally went on day trips together without you (Lando says it’s so you can have time with your friends, but you know it’s just because he wants to hang out with him). 
“You ready to go, bud?” Lando knocked on the door of the hotel bathroom, trying to get Alex out of there. 
“Almost, just need to wash my hands!” he answered. 
“You ready?” he asked, turning to you and pressing a kiss to your cheek. He was excited. Extremely so, to have you in his garage and to show you off to the world. 4 months of dating hardly seemed enough, but he had convinced you anyway. 
You nodded and took a deep breath, slightly terrified for this weekend. 
“You’ll do great,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him. “Everything will be alright.”
You nodded and smiled, taking his hand instead as Alex came out of the bathroom. “All finished mom,” he smiled and took your hand. 
Lando stopped you two and smiled. “Pre-race weekend selfie?” he smiled bashfully. You smiled back at him and lifted up Alex, all three of you posing for the photo. “Perfect,” he smiled, looking at the photo, then kissing your cheek. 
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woniedarlin · 1 month ago
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He listens while you yap
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pairings: boyfriend! enhypen x reader | listener x yapper trope
caution: be prepared for their randomness (•‿•)
author's note: This is my first time trying something like this, and I thought, why not switch things up? If you enjoyed it and want more like this, just let me know! Happy reading!
permanent tag list: @sol3chu @chlorinecake @13tter @jung1w0n
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HEESEUNG
You explained an article you found earlier and made an especially interesting point. “So, apparently, there’s this theory about how—wait, are you even listening?” you paused mid-sentence then glancing up at Heeseung.
He was just staring at you the entire time.
“Am I talking too much?” you asked, feeling embarrassed. Was he bored? You might have been talking for hours...well, you were.
“I’m sorry,” you added. Feeling guilty.
Heeseung tilted his head slightly. His lips formed a gentle smile that quickly made you feel comfortable. “No, not at all. I’m just listening,” he said gently. “You always have the most interesting things to say.”
You blinked. For a moment, you were caught off guard by his words.. “Really? Because I’m pretty sure I’m just rambling about random stuff half the time.”
He chuckled softly while shaking his head. “Not to me. You make even the most ordinary things sound extraordinary. Like you’re breathing life into them.”
“Come on, that’s a bit much,” you teased though you were shy with his words.
He shook his head slowly. “It’s not. You could talk about the lifespan of jellyfish, and I’d still want to hear every word.”
You laughed. “Seriously? Jellyfish?”
“Yup,” he said with a grin. Heeseung’s eyes crinkling at the corners. “I don’t think you realize how much I enjoy hearing you talk.”
You looked at him for a moment. Your laughter turned into a warmer feeling. “You always know how to make me feel special, right?”
Heeseung smiled more. “I’m just telling the truth. You’re the one who makes everything feel special.”
Your heart swelled at his words, and you couldn’t help but grin. “You’re too good at this, you know. No wonder everyone’s always talking about how sweet you are.”
He lightly shrugged. “Only for you.”
JAY
You plopped down next to Jay on the couch, “Last night, I dreamed I was a bottle of ketchup,” you said, not even glancing at him.
Jay didn’t even look up from what he was doing, though you knew he was listening. “Oh?”
“Yeah. And you were mustard. Which is weird because you’re usually mayonnaise in my dreams.” You said it matter-of-factly.
Jay glanced over at you and gave a small smile. Your boyfriend didn’t even question it anymore.
“Mhm. We were sitting on a picnic table, minding our own business,” you continued, staring blankly ahead. “Then this kid comes over, grabs you, and squeezes you all over a hot dog.”
“Of course,” Jay muttered, his smile still there.
“And then they grabbed me and put me on french fries,” you said, your voice now lighter. “But even though we were on different foods, we ended up on the same plate.”
Jay gave you a soft look. “Of course you did.”
“Yup. It’s like… no matter what, we always end up together,” you said nonchalantly. “Even if we’re on different things, we’ll always end up on the same plate.”
Jay didn’t react much, just looking at you with that same fond smile. “Ketchup and mustard, huh? That’s one way to put it.”
“Yep.” You nodded as if you were completely confident in the analogy. “It’s like fate, you know?”
Jay leaned back. “Fate. Of course. You’re the ketchup, and I’m the mustard.”
“Exactly,” you said, kicking your legs a little. “I mean, I’m obviously the star of the show, but you do make a good sidekick.”
Jay laughed quietly to himself, shaking his head. “You’re the star, hm?”
“Of course,” you said, completely unfazed, “but you still belong next to me.”
“Right,” Jay replied with a small, affectionate smile. “Next to you, always.”
And just like that, he continues to look at you with the same smile as you continue to talk, absolutely in love with you.
JAKE
You were pacing around the room, hands gesturing wildly as you went off about the movie you’d just watched. “And don’t even get me started on the plot twist—like, I saw it coming from a mile away! But, still, how could they—ugh, I can’t wrap my head around it!”
Jake sat on the couch with one arm stretched across the backrest. “Go on, tell me more,” he said, his voice smooth and teasing.
“Okay, but can we talk about that scene? The main character falls—of course—and she’s like, ‘Save yourself!’” You rolled your eyes dramatically. “Like, girl, what? Just get up! Run with your friend! Why are you making it so dramatic?”
“Mhm,” he hummed, clearly holding back a laugh.
You kept going, utterly oblivious to his gaze. “I mean, realistically, if I fall, I’m grabbing your arm and dragging you down with me. We’re both going down. There’s no ‘save yourself’ moment. You’re coming with me.”
Jake chuckled, shaking his head. “Good to know.”
“And the friend?” you continued, throwing your hands up. “She’s just standing there, like, ‘Noooo!’ for too long. Like, hello? Help her up and run!”
Jake leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You’d definitely survive in a movie.”
“Oh, absolutely,” you said, pointing at him. “I’m not wasting time with emotional goodbyes. We’re both making it out, or no one is.”
Jake grinned, his voice dropping just slightly. “So, you’d save me?”
You froze for a second before narrowing your eyes. “Obviously. I’d even ensure you didn’t trip in the first place.”
He laughed softly. “And here I was, thinking you’d be the one tripping on purpose just to get me to catch you.”
Your jaw dropped. “I would NOT!”
Jake smirked. “You totally would.”
“I’d be saving both of us!”
“You’re hot,”
You froze. “What?”
“You heard me,” he said.
Of course, he had to flirt.
You crossed your arms tighter, fighting back a smile. “Okay… what? That’s random. You’re distracting me.”
“That’s kind of my thing, isn’t it?” Jake grinned wider, tilting his head. “Admit it, baby.”
You shook your head with a sigh. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” But the way your heart fluttered at his words? You couldn’t deny it.
SUNGHOON
You paced around the room as you got lost in recounting the day. “And I visited my parents today! I missed them so much…it was the best.”
Finally, you stopped mid-stride and turned to face him, hands on your hips. “Okay, are you even listening? Or are you zoning out again?”
You have seen your boyfriend zoning out often, especially in the mornings. You wouldn’t be surprised if today were one of those days.
But he chuckled softly, wanting to assure you. “I’m listening. I always do.”
You tilted your head. “Even when I’m rambling about stuff that’s probably unimportant?”
“Especially then,” he said, his dimples appearing as his smile grew wider. “I like hearing you talk. It makes me happy.”
Your arms crossed, though you couldn’t fight the grin pulling at your lips. “You like when I yap on and on?”
“Not the yapping part,” Sunghoon teased. “It’s the way you’re so happy when you talk. You’re glowing, and I can’t look away.”
That made your cheeks heat up. “I’m just telling you about my day.”
“I know,” he said softly. “But you light up when you talk about the things you love. I could listen to you all day. It’s comforting.”
“Comforting?” you echoed, raising an eyebrow. Oh?
He nodded as his eyes began to soften. “Yeah. It’s like you’re letting me see a part of you no one else does.”
Your lips curved into a smile. “I never thought I’d be comforting while going on about my life.”
Sunghoon’s smile grew. “You’d be surprised.”
SUNOO
“…and I don’t even know why they didn’t just say that in the first place! Would it have been so hard? Honestly…” you trailed off, glancing at Sunoo, watching you with the softest smile.
You blinked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” he asked, his smile widening.
“Like you’re completely entertained by my nonsense.”
“Because I am,” Sunoo admitted without hesitation. “I love it when you yap.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Yap?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “You go off about the most random things, and I love it. It’s my favorite background noise.”
You playfully gasped. “Background noise? You’re saying I’m noise?” How dare he?!
“Sweet noise,” he corrected, grinning cheekily. “The kind I never want to tune out.”
You rolled your eyes, but there was no hiding the blush on your cheeks. “So you want me to keep going?”
Sunoo nodded eagerly. “Of course! Why do you think I never interrupt you?”
Tilting your head, suspicious. “What if I talk about like….I don’t know... talk about socks?”
He laughed softly. “You don’t realize how cute you are when you get all caught up in your little stories.”
You tried to fight the smile tugging at your lips but gave up quickly. “Fine. But you’re stuck with me talking forever.”
Sunoo’s eyes sparkled. “Lucky me.”
JUNGWON
You were sprawled on the carpet while Jungwon sat next to you, quietly listening with that ever-patient expression.
“…and I don’t get it! Why would you even bring a cat to a grocery store? What’s the cat gonna do? Pick out your produce?” You threw your hands up, exasperated. “Next thing you know, they’ll be pushing their pets in carts like it’s totally normal.”
Jungwon blinked at you. You can see his lips twitching.
You squinted. “You’re holding back a laugh, aren’t you?”
“No,” he said, lips pressed together tightly.
“Yes, you are!” You pointed at him accusingly. “You’re trying so hard not to laugh right now.”
He cracked. His shoulders shook as he let out a small giggle. But then it escalated. His hand flew to his stomach, and he was laughing so hard that he tipped backward.
“HAHAHAHAHA OH MY—AHHHH HA HA HA HA!”
You sat there, wide-eyed. “Is it that funny?”
He nodded, tears forming at the corners of his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. “It’s not even the story! It’s you! You’re so serious about the ridiculous things—AHHH HA HA AHH HAHA—I can’t!”
You crossed your arms, pouting. “I was making a valid point.”
“I know, I know!” Jungwon wheezed, wiping his eyes. “But you looked so offended! Like, personally attacked by the cat in the store.”
“Well, someone had to say it!”
Jungwon shook his head. “You’re too much.”
You huffed. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”
“Because you love me,” he teased, his laughter finally calming down.
You rolled your eyes but smiled despite yourself. “Maybe.”
“Definitely,” he said, still grinning. “Now, please. Keep going. I need another good laugh.”
NI-KI
You were going on about how your day went, and Ni-ki, leaning against the doorframe, watched you as he kept grinning. He wasn’t saying much but teasing you with every detail you mentioned. “Wow, you don’t stop talking, huh?” Ni-ki said with a smirk.
You raised an eyebrow. You do not want to back down. Especially to him. “I’m just sharing my day, okay? You don’t have to listen if it’s too much.”
“Oh, I’m listening,” Ni-ki said as he stepped forward. “I just didn’t know you had this much to say. You’ve been talking for hours, baby.”
You shot him a look, unfazed. “Oh, please. You know I talk plenty, just not to you.”
Ni-ki chuckled, pushing himself off the doorframe and walking over to you. “I think you talk to me more than you realize. You just don’t want to admit it.”
You scoffed, crossing your arms. “I don’t know about that.”
“Uh-huh. You’re giving me the full lecture today. You can’t hide it,” he teased. “And honestly, I’m enjoying it.”
You rolled your eyes, trying to act indifferent. “Of course you are; you love it when I talk.”
Ni-ki shrugged dramatically. “Guilty as charged. Your yapping is one of my favorite things. Keeps me entertained.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at how easily he could get under your skin, even with his teasing. “Well, I hope you’re ready for more because I’m not stopping anytime soon.”
“Bring it on,” Ni-ki said with a wink, clearly looking forward to hearing all of it.
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harrysfolklore · 2 months ago
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harry and yn styles read thirst tweets
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omg she posted a harry fic! honestly i've been missing him sooo much lately, harry please come home. anyway hope you like this
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
"Hey It's YN Styles."
"And I'm Harry Styles."
"And we're here to read your thirst tweets," you introduced, "I feel excited."
"I feel uncomfortable," Harry joked, making you throw your head back in laughter.
"Really? Already?"
"I'm just saying, if i I don't turn beat read by the end of this, we have failed."
THIRST TWEETS WITH HARRY AND YN STYLES
"What about I read the ones that are directed at you and you read the ones directed at me?" Harry asked, phone with the tweets ready in hand.
"Sounds perfect, babe."
"Okay, let's read thirst tweets strangers post about my wife," his eyes widened and he shook his head, "Thinking about YN's boobs again," he read, turning his gaze to you and shrugging "I relate, I guess."
"That's the whole tweet? Thinking about my boobs again?" he nodded, "I mean, I hope that doesn't distract you from your daily chores," you said to the camera as if you were talking to the person who posted the tweet.
"Yeah, that happens to me often."
"Thanks honey, I guess," you turned to look at the phone to read Harry's tweet, "Harry Styles can I kiss your cheek please it looks so soft and smoochable," you looked up with a frown in your brow, "So all of my tweets are going to be horny and his are going to be adorable."
Harry and the crew laughed as you shook your head, "I mean, love, my cheek is actually soft and smoochable," Harry said as he shrugged.
"Not right now tho, you need to shave," you said, running your finger through his cheek.
"My own wife doesn't like my facial hair, that's such a shame," he looked at his phone again, "YN, sexy and married to Harry Styles, she's literally winning and all I can do is watch and wish that was me. Whoa, thoughts baby?"
"I mean, I am really lucky," Harry smiled fondly, "Do your daily affirmations, friends, that's how I got this one," the crew laughed at this, "I would pay Harry Styles to punch me in the face," you read the next tweets and his eyes widened.
"Why do people say that? I would never punch anyone in the face, why would I do that?"
"It's an expression babe, it means that they think you're hot," you explained.
"Well, there are non violent ways to say that," he said, "Listen I am bisexual for a reason and that reason is strictly to be used in a threesome by YN and Harry Styles," he read and you instantly covered your face in embarrassment, "I mean, whoa, the things you kids post on the internet."
"I don't know what to say, honestly," you shook your head, looking down at your phone to cover your embarrassment, "Thinking about Harry Styles naked butt again," you read the tweet and Harry laughed, "How does that make you feel? That people can think about your naked butt thanks to My Policeman."
"I have a nice but, I'd like to think," he shrugged, "YN is a living, breathing wet dream," he read on his phone, "I mean, I concur, I have a song about it, It's called Watermelon Sugar."
"Oh thanks honey, glad to know romance isn't dead, and speaking about Watermelon Sugar," you glanced at your phone, "This one says, I want Harry Styles belly deep inside me or whatever he says in that watermelon song."
"Jesus Christ," Harry immediately said, "Not quite what that song says, but close I guess," he looked at another tweet, "I would let YN choke me with her thighs."
"That's nice considering most people want you to choke them with your thighs."
"How do you even know that?" Harry asked as he furrowed his brow.
"I lurk on twitter sometimes," you shrugged, "Are Harry and YN looking for a third right now? Cause I get horny by just looking at them."
"Our marriage is fine like this, but if we ever need a third we'll let you know," Harry spoke to the camera, "Okay last one, are yo ready?"
"Definitely not."
"I need YN to rail me more than I need air to breathe."
"Wow," you clasped your hands together, "I don't know if I should be flattered or worried."
"Flattered, love, we all want you to rail us."
"Harry! Control it!" you laughed and he shrugged, "Are we done?"
"We are," Harry turned to the camera, "Thank you buzzfeed and you thirsty fuckers, that was fun but we're never doing it again."
"Definitely, bye!"
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izadi234 · 4 months ago
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Forget me not
-Warning: Contain yandere themes, neglected! gn!reader, mention of low self-esteem, the writer's first language isn't English. Yan! Batfamily x gn! reader
Chapters Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 (You're here) Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6
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Chapter 3
For Duke it was a normal day after going to a classmate's house to finish a group project. He was eager to show you the project and talk to you about his day as he had started to do since the first day he set foot in Wayne Manor.
He could never forget that day...
The first time Duke went to Wayne Manor he was a bundle of nerves along with other emotions. He had just lost his parents due to the Joker's toxin and had just started his training with Bruce. He couldn't deny that he wasn't grateful to the billionaire and his family of vigilantes but he did miss that normality in his day to day life like when his parents were still well.
It was a day that he was lost in the mansion that was the one that found you. He had just finished his training with Bruce and Damian and had the intention of returning to his room when he got lost, but it wasn't until he ran into someone that he finally paid attention to where he was walking.
You were walking down the hall with your laptop in your hands, it seemed like you had just come from outside. He had never seen you before but Damian had mentioned that he had an older sibling that he didn't give much importance to.
"Oops, sorry. You okay, kiddo?" you asked him kindly
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I should apologize. I didn't see where I was going" the young man apologized
"I see you're lost, these hallways of the mansion aren't that frequented" you commented
"Really? And what are you doing here then?"
"My room is over here" you commented
"Ah..." He didn't know what to say
"You must be the new kid that Bruce adopted, right?"
"Yes, it's me" he nodded
"It's a pleasure, I'm (Name)" you extended your hand to shake it and he took it
He could immediately notice the warmth of your hand, they weren't rough and hard like the hands of others, but he could feel familiarity in your grip. It felt like home.
"Duke" he nodded as he shook your hand
"Well Duke, if you want I can guide you through these halls. It's almost impossible not to get lost in this place" you chuckled
"Yeah... I'd like that" he said with a smile
"Well, then follow me!" you said with a smile as you then guided him through the Manor
From that meeting on, Duke looked for any excuse to go talk to you. He soon discovered that the family didn't show much interest in you, which he couldn't understand why. In a family of vigilantes, being the most normal should be a relief, right? Or at least that's how he saw it, since when he was with you, he felt like he was going back to his old life, without worries or training.
That's why from then on he always waited for the time to be able to go find you.
What a surprise he would get when he saw that you weren't there
Once he entered Wayne Manor, Duke immediately went to look for you in your room only to find it empty. He felt his heart stop for a second.
No... It can't be...
"Alfred!" Duke shouted in search of the butler as he ran to the kitchen and there he saw Alfred who was making food for the Waynes.
"Alfred! Have you seen (Name)? Her room is empty!" the boy spoke quickly
"Yes, I am sorry to have to tell you this Master Duke, but our dear (Name) has left the mansion" informed the butler
"What?! So fast? N-no… They couldn't leave here… Much less without saying goodbye…" he said incredulously
It was like losing his parents all over again.
"They left me a letter in my room. I suppose they left one in yours too Master Duke"
Without saying another word, Duke ran to his room where he found a letter on his bed that had his name on it. He read it and right there (Name) said goodbye to him, thanked him for his company and just like with Alfred, left him the cell phone number of his second phone in case he wanted to talk to them.
"No… It can't be…" said Duke as he let a few tears escape from his eyes
How could he not stop them?
"Please don't cry Master Duke" said a voice from the door of his room. It was Alfred who looked at him with eyes that reflected sorrow and sadness but at the same time determination.
"I know that the departure of Master (Name) was something that hurt you and me" the butler began to speak
"But I assure you that they will return home"
"How Alfred? It was more than obvious that they wanted to leave here" he said between sadness and bitterness "But I don't understand, why did no one in this place pay attention to them? They are a Wayne too"
You were like a refreshing stream for him, you were like a glass of ice water in the middle of a desert.
Why did no one in this damn place notice?
"I couldn't answer that, Master Duke, but what we both know is that the behavior of the members of this family towards (Name) has been unfair and unjustified" Alfred walked towards the young guard and sat next to him
"I spent years waiting for someone else to see how amazing they were, but no one noticed, no one tried to get to know them" he unconsciously closed his hands into fists "And I can say that it was partly my fault, but you came along and finally someone realized what a great person we had in the family"
Alfred turned to look at him and put a hand on his shoulder which he gave a light squeeze.
"And for that same reason that they have such a powerful light, in a place like Gotham it is important to take care of them"
Duke looked at Alfred for a few seconds and then looked at the ground.
He is right. Their light is very bright. He can't let anyone turn it off.
"But… How are you going to do it Alfred? How are you going to get them back? Not even half of the people who live here remember who they are" said the young vigilante irritated
"Don't worry about that Master Duke, but you will have to help me with some things"
Don't worry (Name), you will return home.
Whether you want to or not.
But you will be by their side
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It's been 2 weeks since you left Wayne Manor and to be honest… You've never been happier in your life!
Sure, you'd always had a lot of independence but now this independence felt different, it felt more refreshing.
Likewise, college had also been an interesting change from a social and academic point of view since a few years ago you had studied online and life at university was a bit chaotic but you were starting to like it.
You rented your apartment to an old man who owned the building and who kindly let you pay your rent little by little. Inside it were a few pieces of furniture that were already there, however, you gave it some personal touches to feel more at home. But what couldn't be missing were photos of your parents (F/N) and (M/N), Alfred and Duke with you.
You couldn't complain, you were living a true dream.
But live it up and savor it while you can
Because soon you'll lose it all
You were in the kitchen of your apartment making dinner when your phone rang. You picked it up and answered without looking at who it was,
"Hello?" you said as you answered your phone
"Hey (Name)!" a familiar voice greeted you
"Oh, hey Duke!" you said enthusiastically "How have you been? How's school going?"
"Oh been good, lots of homework" he chuckled "I was calling you because I wanted to see you"
"Oh yeah, sure" you nodded "Do you need me for something specific?"
"No no. I just want to see you. I miss you being around the mansion" he admitted
"Aww, you're really sweet Duke but I'm sure you have plenty of company at Wayne Manor" now was your turn to chuckle
"Yeah, they're good company but you're my best confidant and sibling"
You're MY home…
"Okay Duke, if you want we can see each other tomorrow" you proposed
"Sure!" he excited
"Perfect" you giggled at his excitement "How about we meet at the park near downtown Gotham?"
"Okay" he nodded
"Fine, see you tomorrow bro!" you said goodbye to him
"See you tomorrow sibling" he said goodbye before hanging up the call
You smiled just thinking about seeing Duke tomorrow. You couldn't wait to do it.
This was your first mistake. Trusting him.
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"It's done Alfred" said Duke from the doorway of the living room
"They agreed to see me tomorrow"
"Okay Master Duke" Alfred nodded and then dusted the furniture again
"Now what?" asked the young man
"Now all that's left is to wait for me to arrive tomorrow and just follow my instructions" the butler commanded
"So… do you think all this is going to work? What if it doesn't?" he asked, half scared and half anxious
Alfred turned to look at the nervous boy and walked towards him. He placed a hand on his shoulder in an assuring manner.
"It's going to work" he assured him "Now go rest, tomorrow you're going to have a busy day"
Duke nodded, still a little unsure, but he didn't say anything else. Then he retired to his bedroom.
When he left Alfred couldn't help but smile a little. Everything was going as he had been planning and although he knew that this plan wasn't going to be to your liking in the least, he was also sure that this was the best for you.
Yes… This was the best thing for you…
For you…
For you…
For you…
For you…
For you…
For you…
For you…
For you…
For y…
For y…
For them..
For them...
For them...
For him…
This was going to be the best thing for HIM
This was going to bring you home to HIM
His little ray of sunshine
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Helloooo. Here it goes the third chapter! I hope you like it and I swear that in the next one the rest of the family will appear, still I would love to heart what do you expect of this work! And even some ideas!
Also I added the people that told me to add them in tag list so if you want to be added please tell me and I will happily add you. And also if I missed someone please tell me as well because I'm a bit blind most of the times and despite being on tumblr for a while now I'm still getting used to using it ":v
So if you liked this chapter please leave a heart and I'll see you on the next one!
-Izadi
TAG LIST
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bluetimeombre · 5 months ago
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ׂׂૢ Hugh and you are WIRED,
You and Hugh take part in the Wired autocomplete interview
[this has been sitting in my drafts collecting dust, enjoy! Not proof read, just the vibes]
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'Hello, I am Hugh Jackman,' he smiled at the camera.
'And i'm Y/N.'
'And we're doing the autocomplete interview,' he said.
You smile at how he tried his best. 'The WIRED one,' you added.
Hugh looked back to you. 'Oh yeah.' he laughed and apologised to the crew. 'I'll hold, you peel and read and I'll answer,' said Hugh, taking the board that started with him.
You leaned back in your chair, eyes peering at him. 'So, I do all the work and you sit there, ok, yeah, that's fair.'
He chuckled as you peeled away the first question.
'Is Hugh Jackman Australian?' you read, screwing up the paper and chucking it behind you. 'Um, no, he's not. It's all a bit he does, it's incredible he's kept it up for years,' you answer for him.
Hugh laughed. 'I am, I am Australian,' he insisted.
You shook your head, nudging him friendly. 'Such a good actor. Is Hugh Jackman retired?'
'No, just old,' said Hugh.
You chuckle before looking at the camera. 'He said he was retired but that was a lie,' you poke fun at the amount of times he said he'll never do Logan again... but did Logan again. 'He's a lair like I said- a good actor.'
You rip the next one off. 'Is Hugh Jackman... a good singer? Uh yes!'
'Thank you, there you go,' nodded Hugh.
'He's such a good singer,' you boast, holding his knee. 'Les mis, Oklahoma, The greatest showman.'
'That's where we met,' he smiled. The two of you did meet during the filming of The Greatest Showman.
You smiled back at you. 'We did. Yeah, highly recommend having Hugh Jackman sing to you, it's-it's magic.'
You do a couple more questions before finishing his first board and letting Hugh break it over his knee before chucking it away. 'Oh woah. You know, people would pay to have that done to them.'
Hugh laughs. He takes the board meant for you and peels the first away. 'I've got it love, let me. Is Y/N dead?'
'Starting off strong here,' you said. 'Um, only on the inside.'
Hugh chuckled. 'That's horrible,' he said through his laughter.
'Don't worry babe, I'm still here. Alive and kicking,' you mumble off.
Hugh eventually peeled away the next one. 'Ok, is Y/N in Wolverine origins.'
'No, thank god,' you said as Hugh, again, keeps laughing. 'No, I do not appear in that movie. But a version of my character does for like ten minutes. And i'm sure it was the better ten minutes of the movie.'
'I won't argue with that,' said Hugh.
'So it wasn't me but another actress playing my character.'
'Right, not confusing at all,' said Hugh. 'Just don't think about it really. Yeah. Right, is Y/N a billionaire? If she was, I would've married her by now,' said Hugh.
You laugh, rocking back and forth. 'Now I really need to reach that billionaire status,' you said.
Hugh's board was next.
'Ok, how Hugh Jackman got jacked?' you read, looking over to him. 'How did the Jackman jack?' you asked, the question coming out a bit more on the naughty side than you intended.
The both of you looked at each other promiscuously.
You held up a finger. 'Maybe I should have worded that differently.'
'Yeah,' he chuckled. 'Um, I basically was miserable for six months. No I'm kidding, a lot of training and boiled chicken.'
'Yum! How tall is Hugh Jackman?'
'6'2- 6'3,' he hummed, thinking about it.
'Do you think people are asking cause they're angry you're not 5'3 like Wolverine should've been in the comics?' you asked.
Hugh's face straightened. 'Why'd you have to bring that up?'
You chuckle, peeling away another one. 'What is Hugh Jackman.., made out of?' he laughs as you whisper to the camera. 'Boyfriend material.'
'Is that actually what it says?' he turns the board, checking it. It really did. 'Oh woah. I assume the interweb means the Adamantium in Logan?'
You snorted. 'The interweb, is that what you just called it?'
'Isn't that what the cool kids call it these days?'
You shake your head and toss his board behind you without sparing a thought.
Hugh stared after it. 'Is that how you treat all yours lovers?'
You purse your lips, trying to hold in a laugh. 'It's just a board, babe, you're the real thing.' You picked up the next board for you and handed it to Hugh who was peeling the first one away immediately.
'How is Y/N... oh it ends there. Well, that's very nice, how is Y/N?' Read Hugh, answering before you got the chance. 'She's very well, er, cause she's with me. Next one. Is Y/N single? What a good question.'
Next to you, Hugh was grinning like a mad man, or a man who knew a secret. Or just like an idiot in love. Any of them worked as you just stared back at him. 'Um, you'd have to ask her,' you said, trying to do what you did best and avoid questions.
'We are asking you, c'mon, the people want to know, are you single?' Hugh teased.
You shook your head with pursed lips. 'You know, Y/N is...' you trailed off, mumbling incoherently under his breath.
Hugh chuckled before looking into the camera. 'His name rhymes with Pugh Ackman.'
'Ryan Reynolds, of course!' you say, peeling off the next one yourself. 'Ok, is Y/N in marvel movies? um yes, a few.'
'Most,' Hugh corrected. 'If not all,'
'Yeah, i've done a few in my time,' you answered. 'Started when I was like, sixteen now i'm,' you pretend to count on your fingers, freaking out when you realised the numbers were high. 'Anyway, Hugh's turn!'
'Ok, i'll peel now,' said Hugh, giving you the board.
'Oh thank you, give my poor nails a break,' you said.
'Does Hugh Jackman... smell nice?' he leant over to you and you took an inhale.
You shrug. 'Yeah, he's alright.'
He chuckled and made a gesture at you before going onto the next one. 'Does Hugh Jackman, my name is falling on deaf ears I think now, does Hugh Jackman do all his own singing?'
'Yes, he does!' you yell. 'He's a great singer guys, no debate.'
'No cap!' added Hugh.
'Oh jesus,' you hide your face and laugh into it.
'What?' asked Hugh.
Eventually you moved onto peeling the next one. 'Does Hugh Jackman have tik-tok?'
You laugh too loudly. 'No, could you imagine if he did? I have to help him out with instagram for gods sake.'
'That's true, I do not know what the tik, nor the tok is,' said Hugh. 'Ok, last one on this board. Does Hugh Jackman do all his own stunts? No.' he threw the board.
'That was an easy answer,' you scoff. 'Do you want to tell us why?'
Hugh thought about it. 'No.'
'Alright then, my turn,' you said.
Hugh took the board before you could, not letting you hold it or do your own peeling. 'Alright, ready? Does Y/N do all her own stunts, aw, we're matching.'
You laugh. 'Um, I try to,' you answer. 'I try to, I really do but some are just too dangerous. Like I'm legally not allowed to jump from a building into a dumpster or walk away from an explosion.' You give Hugh a look, referencing that scene in Wolverine origins which he cringed at.
'Does Y/N write her own songs in The Greatest Showman? Can I answer this?' Hugh asked you.
You lean back. 'Only cause I know you're going to gush at me, so go ahead.'
Hugh got his answer ready. 'So when Y/N came on the project, it was only a half developed idea- if that. And I'd seen her at an Oscar's party and we started chatting and I asked if you were interested in this little project we were doing, you immediately came on board and started writing songs for this. I think, in total you wrote, what was it four- five?'
'Five I think,' you nod.
'Five of the greatest songs on that movie. Honestly, hearing it live and in the workshops was just, the best thing i've ever heard,' Hugh looked back at you, a loving smile on his lips.
You pout and rest your head on his shoulder. 'God that Pugh Ackman is a real nice guy.'
Hugh laughed and pecked your forehead. 'Does Y/N enjoy being in the avengers?'
'I do yeah,' you answer. 'I think there's like a lot of talk that when you stop playing a role you're supposed to come out and say you hated it, but I loved it. And I still love it. And I'll always love it.'
Hugh held up a hand. 'That being said. She would love being in the X-men more.' He waited for you to reply but you didn't and just stared at him. 'Ok, never mind. Anyway. Does Y/N drive?'
'Absolutely,' you nod. 'I've got the speeding tickets to prove it.'
'Ok, so these are your last boards,' said the lady behind the camera.
Hugh frowned. 'Oh, i'm having fun,' he said, taking his board.
You shrug. 'We'll just have to google ourselves at home more often.'
Hugh agreed and peeled the next ones, these questions beginning with 'Why'. 'Why Hugh Jackman, returned as Wolverine?'
'Good question, liar,' you said.
'Well, at first, you know, I wasn't going to, I really wasn't,' he spoke, looking to you as if cameras weren't pointing at you. 'But then this Ryan... Gosling guy? I think that's his name. He just kept asking and asking, turning up at my house, he got my number, I don't even know how-'
'Yeah, sorry about that,' you added.
Hugh laughed before carrying on. 'Eventually you know, he waved a bag of cash in my face and I knew, just to get him off my tale, I had to.'
'Yeah, that sounds like a Ryan Gosling move.'
'Why didn't Hugh Jackman win an Oscar?'
'Guys, that's mean,' you tell the camera.
'Thank you, interweb for reminding me I didn't win an Oscar,' said Hugh. 'Well, listen, when you find out you're up against Daniel-Day Lewis, you kinda know not to prepare a speech. And then when your publicist the next day calls and says yeah don't worry, you- you don't worry.'
'You were robbed for Logan,' you mused.
Hugh agreed with a chuckle. 'She's my number one fan. Why Hugh Jackman ran naked?'
You perked up. 'Hello, he what?'
The crew laugh at your excitement.
'It was for X-men two... well, I feel like every X-men movie I strip down,' said Hugh. 'Thinking about it.'
'Got to get that watch rate up,' you said.
'Yeah, exactly. So I did a scene in X-men two where I was running the corridor after just finding the metal in my body and the claws,' he explained, again only looking at you.
You nod, like it was the first time you were hearing the story. 'As you do.'
'And then I turn the corner and the entire crew of women are just there waving dollar bills and I, on reflex, went to cover myself you know and then I cut myself.'
You seethed in pain. 'And then you did it for Wolverine one and two and the next X-men movie,' you listed.
Hugh nodded. 'Then I never stopped.'
'Why would you?' you asked, raking your eyes up and down him and winking.
The last board up was yours.
'Ok, let's go,' said Hugh, scraping at the board. 'Why Y/N is famous?'
You laughed.
'Because she's fucking talented!' said Hugh, 'why wouldn't she be famous?'
You shrug. 'It was gonna happen one way or another. I became famous because I wanted money. And Hugh Jackman, one of them i've got, the other i'm still working on.'
Hugh grinned, wriggling his brows. 'Why did Y/N win an Oscar? Oh, you won one,' he joked, glaring at you as you laughed. 'Lucky you.'
You read the question again. 'I mean- that feels almost condescending you know like oh she won an Oscar, why?'
Hugh stared and pointed at the camera again, repeating himself. 'Because she's fucking talented! Why wouldn't she win an Oscar?'
'I won best actress for a movie called Room, which was very tough, very well written annnndddd I deserved it,' you shrug.
'Why did Y/N marry Hugh Jackman?' he gasped. 'You married him?'
'I have not yet, but I am engaged to Pugh Ackman, so um, please, feel free to send us gifts,' you say causing Hugh to drop the board and laugh. 'Um, I really need a new toasted and he likes watches.'
'Oh, he sounds like a nice guy,' said Hugh.
'He is, he's great.'
taglist (thank you!): @oatmilkriver, @angstdaddy, @chronicallybubbly, @white-wolf-buckaroo, @th3mrskory, @wolfyychan, @chaimshelii, @wolviesgirl @haytchee, @aoi-targaryen
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reidsglasscs · 1 year ago
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LOVERS LAKE
✸ pairing : luke castellan x fem!reader
✸ synopsis: you & luke escape to the lake and away from counselor duties!
✸ warnings: pre-tlt, established relationship, kissing, me believing whole heartedly that i can fix him
✸ authors’s note: ignoring that it’s literally christmas & this is so summer-coded, charlie bushnell brought back my original series luke obsession so here you go 🙈
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the lake was arguably the best place to be at camp half-blood, even for someone who hated the water and was all but dragged their by somebody else who loved it.
that someone was you, and the somebody else was luke.
that boy loved swimming in the lake like the stars love sitting in the sky, and the only thing that made it better was when you were there with him.
between knowing that fact and the pleading look in his pretty puppy eyes, how could you say no?
so now you and him were in the lake together, on a rare escape from your responsibilities as counselors during rec time. you may or may not have been hiding from your campers by staying hidden by the boathouse that stored the camp’s supply of canoes.
you were clinging onto the wooden dock while your boyfriend swam about, still putting on your angry facade at him after he threw you in the water initially.
was the way he scooped you up in his big strong arms and grinned like a little kid when he jumped in with you absolutely adorable? yes. did that mean you were going to let him get away with it? absolutely not.
pouting with your arms wrapped around the dock leg, you watched as the boy’s head disappeared underwater, not missing the mischievous glint that lingered in his eyes beforehand.
and just as you had expected, a wet head of dark curls popped up just beside you. just to be annoying, he shook his head like some kind of dog and laughed when you scrunched your face up at the flying drops of water.
the little loser laughed at you. now you were definitely mad, and would’ve crossed your arms and harrumphed if you weren’t still holding on to the dock like you’d die if you let go.
“are you ever gonna leave that poor dock be and actually come swim with me?” he asked, batting his pretty long eyelashes like he was pleading for you to do what he asked.
“go away.” you grumbled, looking away from him.
“aw, c’mon sweetheart.” he cooed, his tone teetering between teasing and sincere.
you felt familiar hands wrap around your waist as luke pried you away from the dock, ignoring your words of protest.
“you are literally going to drown me.” you frown as you have no choice but to hold onto him.
look, it wasn’t that you couldn’t swim, it was just that it was going to take one hell of a monster chasing you to make it happen.
“oh my gods, i am going to die.”
you were now out of arm’s reach of the shore, left with nothing but your boyfriend to keep you afloat. dam it.
“would you relax? i’m not gonna let you drown.” he chuckled, smiling at your antics as he kept both you and himself afloat.
“well you pushed me in, so you may as well.” you responded, sticking your chin up in dramatic negligence.
“hey, it was push you in or get caught and have about seventeen campers join us. which would you rather have?”
the first option, obviously, but you weren’t going to tell him that.
instead, you stuck to the silent treatment, which meant luke was left to his last and final resort.
“guess you leave me with no choice then,” he feigned a regretful sigh, even though you both knew he was ecstatic to do what he was thinking.
“wha- no. no no no no!”
luke had let go of your waist for no more than two seconds before you had screamed and clung onto him for dear life, your arms tightly wound around his neck and legs around his waist.
“i’m going to kill you, castellan.” you grumble, unable to see his reaction as your cheek was pressed against his.
there it was again, that gods damned chuckle of his that made your heart do little somersaults.
“love you too.” he said humorously. but when you didn’t reply with the same phrase, it was his turn to pout.
“hey.”
between the pout in his voice and the poke he delivered to your sides, you knew that your inattention had had just the effect you wanted.
this was the dance the two of you had done several times before. he’d annoy you, you’d ignore him and then you would relish in the way he turned into a lost puppy when it lasted for ten seconds too long, proving once again just how tightly you had him wrapped around your finger.
“hey. hey. hey.”
he poked you again and again, repeating the same word in hopes that you’d look at him, but you remained relentless.
“i’m not forgiving you that easily.” you insisted, as if your faces weren’t inches away from each other and water wasn’t the only thing between your body and his.
once again, he knew you too well to know there was little truth to your words.
he pressed a kiss to your cheek in hopes to get you to finally turn your head and look at him. again, nothing.
“hey, pretty girl.” he whispered, growing desperate and excruciatingly impatient. “would you at least look at me?”
feeling as though you’d drawn it out rather excessively, you listened and looked at him.
immediately, your lips were captured by his in a sweet kiss, the lake water seeping in between and tainting the flavor.
when he pulled away, luke wore a smirky kind of smile that made you want to kiss him again just to get rid of it and the giddy little feeling it gave you.
“am i forgiven now?”
he was, but instead of saying that, that was when you splashed a wave of water in his pretty little face.
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surftrips · 1 year ago
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ABOUT YOU | LUKE CASTELLAN
pairing: luke castellan x aphrodite!reader
request: luke x reader fluff w like an aphrodite!reader? reader is all sunshine and flowers and makes luke all soft/campers teasing luke abt the way reader changed him 🤭
word count: 1.6k
a/n: this is probably my favorite luke fic that i've written so far thank u so much anon for sending this request in! writing aphrodite!reader is so much fun, i'm such a sucker for the opposites trope. hope you all enjoy 🤍
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You were the human embodiment of sunshine, a real life angel. Gentle, kind, and lovely— in other words, the complete and total opposite of Luke Castellan. He was dark and broody, strong and rough, and not totally unfriendly, but definitely intimidating. 
But even if you weren’t the daughter of Aphrodite, Luke believed that you would still be just as beautiful. There was something in the way you carried yourself that had made his heart surrender the second he laid eyes on you. You became the one and only exception in his long list of grievances. 
So it came as no surprise to anyone at camp when the two of you started dating, just to the dismay of many of your admirers and a few of Luke’s as well. If there was one thing you had in common, it was your beauty. With his puppy dog eyes and curly brown hair, Luke was a sight for sore eyes, almost as much as you were. 
One day, you were walking hand in hand when one of the younger campers accidentally bumped into Luke. On any other occasion, Luke might have started an altercation, but today, he simply smiled and said, “Just be careful next time.” The camper stared at him, wide-eyed and shocked into place as you softly giggled.
“What?” he smiled, looking over at you as the kid took it as an opportunity to run away. 
“Nothing,” you mused. “Just that I think you’re getting soft, Luke Castellan.” You poked a finger at his chest playfully. 
“What?” he shook his head. “No, I’m not.” 
Though he attempts to keep a serious face, you could see the amusement in his eyes. He often looked at you like this, ready to go along with anything you said— no matter how silly or whimsical your remarks. 
“Okay, lover boy. Whatever you say,” you shrugged, offering him a kiss on his cheek that instantly causes color to rush into his face. Ignoring that he’s just proven your point, he attempts to hide his expression by seeking solace in the crook of your neck. He would never admit it to anyone, but he often thought his favorite place at camp was the spot in between your jaw and collarbone. 
Even though most of the campers were still a little frightened by the idea of approaching Luke, his closest friends were not afraid to speak their minds. 
“Dude, you’re like, totally whipped for her,” Percy remarked over lunch once. 
“And you’re like, totally fourteen years old,” Luke said.
“I think the fourteen year old’s right,” Chris jumped in.
“Dude! I thought you were supposed to have my back,” Luke throws up his arms in mock aggravation.
The two boys snickered, causing Luke to speak up again. “I am not whipped for Y/N.” 
“Oh, sure,” Chris began. “So the reason you’re practically skipping around camp and letting whatever team Aphrodite cabin is in win Capture the Flag is because…?” 
“Oh, and don’t forget the constant checking his phone to see if she texted back and sharing his blanket with her at the campfire!” Percy pointed out. “Meanwhile, I’m over here freezing…” 
“Maybe,” Luke scrambled to come up with an answer. “Maybe, I was just in a really good mood those days. It could have absolutely nothing to do with Y/N.” 
He barely believed the words himself, and Chris and Percy were certainly not convinced. Luke wasn’t even sure why he felt the need to defend himself. 
“Dude, it’s okay if you are, she’s literally your girlfriend,” Chris said.
“Hey! I have an idea, let’s ask Annabeth!” Percy declared.
“Annabeth? Why her?” Luke furrowed his brow. 
“Because, she’s a girl. And she’s known you the longest, she can give us a real answer,” Percy said matter-of-factly. 
Luke thought it over. The young boy was technically right, Annabeth was like a little sister to him. If anyone could tell if he had changed since dating you, it would be her. This came as both a good and bad realization to him, because what if he had changed? Gods, was it that obvious? 
Before he could agree to asking Annabeth, the young girl was already at their table. Percy must have called her over while Luke was thinking. 
“What’s up?” she asked, sitting down across from him with her plate of food. 
“Oh, nothing, just talking about how soft Luke has gotten since he started dating Y/N,” Chris explained with a grin on his face. 
“Oh?” Annabeth said, seemingly amused. 
“Yeah, we actually wanted to get your opinion,” Percy continued. “Would you say you agree or disagree, that you know, Luke is nicer now that he’s with Y/N?”
Annabeth seemed to think it over for a second. “Gods, you guys are such children,” she scoffed. 
“Thank you!” Luke cut in.
“I mean, all of you,” she looked at Luke pointedly. “Why do you care what a bunch of kids think about you anyway? And not that it matters, but you, Castellan, are most definitely whipped for Y/N.” 
That shut Luke up immediately, and caused cheers to erupt from Chris and Percy, who were clapping each other on their backs as if they had just won Capture the Flag. 
Annabeth smiled and shrugged her shoulders, as if to say “Sorry, Luke. It’s true.” 
Later that night, Luke snuck over to the Aphrodite Cabin to find you. You were surprised when Luke woke you up, it had been a while since he came seeking your comfort in the middle of the night. He used to have bad nightmares, but you noticed he had gotten better since you started dating. You’d like to think it was because of you, but perhaps that would be thinking too highly of yourself.  
In an effort to clear his mind, you suggested to go on a walk together. He agreed, and you climbed out of bed as quietly as you could.
You allowed him a few minutes of silence until his heavy breathing had slowed down and his grip on your hand had loosened. 
“What’s on your mind, hon?” you asked softly. 
Luke didn’t respond at first, distracting himself by tracing the lines on the palm of your hand. You were happy to give him as much time as he needed, placing your other hand on his back and gently drawing circles.
After a while, he did speak up. “Uhm, do you think that I’m, like, unapproachable?” 
Your heart sank and you stopped in your tracks. “What makes you say that?” 
“I don’t know, it’s just something that’s been on my mind recently.” 
“Luke, is this about what I said to you the other day? Because I didn’t mean it like that—” 
“No, baby,” he rushed. The last thing he wanted was for you to think you had done something wrong. He wasn’t sure that you could ever do wrong, not in his eyes. “I was just talking to Percy and Chris at lunch today and they were kind of teasing me.” 
You couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of your boyfriend, Mr. Tough Guy, being teased by a few kids younger than him. “I’m sorry, babe. Continue,” you placed a supportive hand on his chest as you regained your composure. 
“They said that I’ve changed since we started dating.” 
Though you were an expert in human emotion, there were still times you couldn’t read the expression on Luke’s face. You couldn’t tell if he thought of this as a bad thing, or if he was just curious to see what you thought. You decided on the latter. “Changed how so?” 
“They think I’m soft now because I’m always in a good mood and stuff…” he trailed off. Even now, in the dark of the night, you could tell he was blushing.
“Well,” you started, trying to find the right words. “You know, I was just teasing you the other day, babe. I think you’ve always been this way.” 
“What do you mean?” 
“I mean, I think you’ve always been a giant teddy bear,” you grinned, unable to contain yourself. “Luke, you’re not as bad as everyone thinks you are.” 
By now, both of you had stopped walking. Ever since Luke arrived at camp, he had been characterized as the tough, stony, and slightly antagonistic guy. All because of a scar he carried and the stories of what he had gone through with Annabeth and Thalia. Many people were still intimidated by him, despite his position as the counselor in Hermes and his job to welcome newcomers. It had been so long, he wasn’t sure if this was the way he was, or the way that he was made to be. 
As if reading his thoughts, you said, “You don’t have to be what they tell you to be. Do you know the words I use to describe you when someone asks me about you?” 
Unable to speak, Luke simply shook his head. 
“Gentle, kind, and lovely.” 
Luke wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but certainly nothing close to the words you had chosen. “You do not,” he objected. 
“I'm serious, baby,” you placed your hands on his cheeks and pulled him in until your foreheads were touching. “I think you’re the most wonderful and caring guy I’ve ever met. I think you always have been, you just don’t always show it.”
He stared at you intently before pulling a loose strand of hair out of your face. You kissed the top of his head, “I must be one lucky girl.” 
“Hey, if there’s one thing I’m sure about, it’s that I’m the lucky one,” he said, before pulling you in for a kiss. 
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suguru-getos · 6 months ago
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-> Kid Gojo running away from home, meets kid F!Reader. <3
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It was weird, the scorching sun of Kyoto was humiliating her very body. Gasping, panting, heavy breathing, she had just run from a few bullies who wanted to take her limited edition water bottle away. For a child who was so doted on, overbearingly so, but somehow it all being a facade, Satoru couldn’t understand his own life, part of him thought it’s fun & he gets to have whatever he wants. Part of him craved what normalcy means, and how he could possibly achieve it in a stigma of innate power & pedastal he’s crowned with. His birthday recently passed, so many gifts & yet gift giving could lack warmth that much & include agendas? Unbearable. This world was unbearable.
His eyes were powerful, he had been practising with his own given the strict routine of Jujutsu being taught in his clan… Gojo clan, Zen’in clan, Kamo clan… how do normal people behave? Ignorance is bliss indeed, or that is something Satoru swears by for the non-sorcerer community.
Ignorance is utterly blissful, why else was she running towards him without a fear of her life? His eyes widened, school uniform, tattered & bruised knees, beautiful hair that are utter opposite to his, eyes gleaming, happy— kind— before Satoru could say anything, both her hands clasped his arm, using him as a leverage, she hid behind him.
Now, Satoru can handle all the trouble in the world. Small kid with small hands knew his worth, knew his birth shook the sorcerer community & he is god-like. Still, this normalcy felt endearing. The fact that she didn’t ask him, or bow in front of him to be allowed to touch Satoru was, new.
He turned his head to look at her, what was she running from. His gorgeous blue eyes met hers, thick lashes batting in curiosity, “Ano- what are you running from?” He asked, a slight snobbish arrogance lacing his sentence. He just isn’t used to any other way. Could it be that she was being haunted by a curse? What was tormenting this beautiful girl?
“How old are you?” Satoru continued, asking another question.
“I’m eight, turning nine soon. My name is Y/N. I am running from a few people in my school, they want my water bottle & they get anythin’ they want from anyone…” she pouted big, showing Satoru her water bottle. It looked cute, he’d give it that, but for someone who always has whatever he wants, the idea of people bothering someone else for materialistic things seemed unfit.
“Pretty bottle.” He said, taking it from her & examining it further. Maybe he’s missing something? There has to be something valuable about it… he even tried using six eyes to understand, nope… nothing. Just an ordinary bottle in the hands of an ordinary girl.
“They won’t bother you, I am here. I’m really strong.” He grins, so far he’s always been told he’s really strong but this time he has used this to forge his own identity. “Yeah?” She raised a brow, slightly skeptical.
“Yeah- I am already ten years old. Senpai.” Satoru smirked again, what a tiny lady being bothered by a tiny bottle.
“Well, if you really can protect me from those bullies, I can take you home and make you meet my mom. She makes amazing cookies, & she is making a cake today, Fridays are baking days.” This time, the girl grinned back, just as chirpy and excited. Happily accepting herself to be under Satoru’s wing.
The strongest sorcerer in the world, was still a kid. Needed to be loved like a kid. “I could get any cookies I want.” He shrugged.
“Yeah, not my mum’s cookies.” She resisted, pouting & yanking the bottle away.
What was about her mom’s cookies which could be that special? Satoru raised his brows, he has promised to protect someone & what kinda man would he be if he doesn’t keep his promise?
“Okay, I’ll go home with you.” He nods, besides, there is a special naughty joy that erupts in his childish psyche to imagine his butlers being scolded.
Satoru Gojo didn’t have a normal life, yet. This was a good start, maybe a frequent spot to visit when he escapes his gruesome trainings & his role to save the world.
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