#I am very selective with people I follow
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
.
#I know it may sound dramatic but#I am very selective with people I follow#Because I want to avoid specific stuff from getting to me#Before I decide to follow you I check very carefully#And if I do I will trust you#As in i will trust that you won't post about that specific stuff I hate#Because I went back a a lot on your blog looking for it and didn't find it#So I think yeah they're trustworthy#I get comfortable#I find them in my dash thinking yeah they're a good one!#So having one of those blogs suddenly reblog one of the things I specifically wanted to avoid#Is a bigger deal that it seems#My trust is broken#I won't see them the same way anymore#And what do I do? It's a first time do i let it slide?#Yet they tagged the thing and that means they might want to keep traco of it#Do I unfollow?#I don't want that shit in my dash#If it was for me it just shouldn't exist at all#I hate this#Rant
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can you follow me so I can dm you? :)
I will have to think about it!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
college is great because it means i get to write a paper and give a presentation about one of my favorite tv shows and not only does no one stop me, but i am actually encouraged to
#doctor who#also! if anyone has a better title for this presentation i would love to hear it because i don't like this one lmao#i'm fairly sure i'm using 'historicity' right but i am still very concerned i'm not#also i really did almost put my full name on the internet before i remembered that more people follow me than just my select irls#omfg just noticed the formatting error with my em dash as i wrote that last tag - have since fixed it#anyway i just started this presentation and i present at 8am thursday so. kill me now
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
none of this is new info, but you know I have the "loves to write lists and compile links" disposition, so I thought it might be helpful to share some of the tips I've seen about how to make sure you're sharing legitimate palestinian evacuation fundraisers and bundle all those tips into a single handy reference post.
this is a spreadsheet of legitimate ("vetted") fundraisers on tumblr.
this post explains how the people who maintain this spreadsheet confirm the legitimacy of each fundraiser they add.
this podcast episode ("yousef and the fourth move") explains why evacuation fundraisers are often organized by people who don't live in gaza and/or who may not be immediate relatives of the people trying to evacuate. it's part three of a series about a man named yousef and his family; parts one and two aren't required listening for part three to make sense, but if you have a few hours to spare then I wholeheartedly recommend listening to all of them.
this is the process that I personally have been using to check whether a particular fundraiser has been vetted:
spreadsheet method
open the vetted fundraisers spreadsheet.
inside this spreadsheet, open the "find..." menu. on a windows computer, this shortcut is ctrl+F. on a mac, this shortcut is cmd+F. on a mobile device, click the three dots menu in the upper right corner of your screen, then select Find and replace.
search for the last name of the person or family in the fundraiser. you may get several results because last names obviously aren't unique; keep hitting "next" until you've looked at all the results.
if you find an entry in the spreadsheet that has the exact same name and whose gofundme link leads to the same fundraiser associated with the blog, it's legitimate. if you don't find an entry in the spreadsheet that matches the blog's fundraiser, that does not mean it's a scam. try the next method below!
tumblr search method
copy the username of the tumblr who originally posted the fundraiser and/or sent you a message asking you to boost the fundraiser. (for example, username123)
paste this username into tumblr's search bar.
for best results, click the All types drop-down menu, then select Text. since the search page is often dominated by asks sent by username123 (which people then answer and tag with their username), this helps narrow things down a bit.
look to see if any people who are not username123 have made posts confirming that username123 is legitimate. this includes people who've reblogged fundraisers and added notes, people who've compiled masterlists, and people sharing hyperlinks to other posts confirming a fundraiser's legitimacy. if the message seems to be "yep, looks legit," then it's safe to assume it's legit.
this is not a comprehensive list, but here are some of the usernames I've seen associated with "yep, looks legit"-type posts and who I've come to trust by association. (disclaimers: I am not mutuals with any of the users, and not all of them do the vetting firsthand, but the ones who don't vet posts themselves still seem to be careful about what they share and therefore are a good lead to follow. also, don't bug these people to vet fundraisers for you unless they've specifically indicated that they're open to that.)
90-ghost
el-shab-hussein
nabulsi
appsa
northgazaupdates
retvolution
communistchilchuck
neptunerings
a-shade-of-blue
shimamitsu
neither of these methods yielded anything definitive; what now?
it may just be too early to tell. unless a trusted source has shared overwhelming evidence that a particular fundraiser is a scam (which seems to be a very very rare occurrence), the best thing you can do is ignore it. don't report their blog as spam, because there's a good chance it's a legitimate fundraiser who just hasn't been vetted yet.
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
*contains my babbling about the passion project in the tags*
#♥ i can’t breathe. 》 mun post#(unintentionally forming an mental playlist for the angelic idiot oc that's overtaken my brain)#(and im like hmm dive into my songs that caught my attention to list to at some point playlist)#(only to just get hit with songs that fucking vibe so aesthetically hard for the muse)#(they also hit hard in general but damn the accuracy only furthers the brain rot)#(ive been trying to scavange for people to follow over there- active rpers that might follow back or not and its rough)#(seeing things like cool aesthetics plus the word selective etc makes me not click follow like 100% of the time smh)#(cuz like ye ole tumblr elistim scarred me)#(anyways on a more positive note i am very !!! and high muse plus wanting to write in general so we love creativity vibes that stick)
0 notes
Text
Being Married to Haganezuka - headcanons
Relationship between swordsmith and demon slayer was actually unheard of, but you didn't complain at all.
It was really comfortable, you lived with your husband and were close enough to be ready when needed.
Your husband was a difficult person: hot-blooded, extremely dedicated to his craft, and socially inept.
Many were sure he would never find a wife. That was until you came into the village, after all Hotaru was just a man and despite all of his heavy flaws managed to win your heart.
People hated him, and you knew that, but thankfully your presence brightened his image. Just a tiny bit. But still.
--------------
He doesn't just talk about work. He rants.
A lot, actually.
Thanks to it, you know all about his clients, even if he has very little of those.
"I need to make new swords! And guess for who! For a kid that barely made it through Finale Selection!" Hotaru complains as you hum in acknowledgement while braiding the long black locks of your husband. "I am sure he will be like the others! Not respecting my work whatsoever!"
It's a simple routine before bed. He rants, letting out some of the frustration while your attention calms him down. It's always enough to actually allow him to properly rest during the night.
Sleeping with him is yet another completely different thing.
Once the two of you get into bed, there is no running away. When his arms wrap around you, it's over, you are stuck like this until the sun rises again. He is simply not letting you go.
Hotaru will never admit it out loud, but that's exactly what he is afraid of, you were the only woman that ever wanted him, so what would he do without you around.
You are his biggest treasure, he is not letting you go. Ever.
Mornings with Haganezuka are much nicer.
He is calm and rested as you're helping him to get ready for work right after breakfast.
"I hate that mask," You say with a grimace, while looking at the ugly mask in your hand.
Of course, you understand the whole idea of masks but it didn't change the fact you didn't like them, you preferred to see your husband without it.
He snatches the item from your hand and hands you a shawl. "You better help me with my hair," Hotaru mutters, sitting in front of you to make it easier. "You also should get ready."
With an eye roll, you started to wrap his hair, making sure they won't bother him during the work. "I am just as ready as you are," you sum up, tying the shawl as tightly as possible.
Once you were done he got up, put on the mask and turned to you. "I love you," he admits, while his hands move to your collar to properly button it.
Looking up at him, "I... I love you too...," you say with a soft grimace, making him frown under the mask. "What's your problem now?”
"Sorry. It's hard to say with that thing on your face," you admit slowly.
"You're annoying," He scoffs and turns to leave.
After grabbing your sword, you could follow him, walking by his side and holding his hand until you reach your post. Only then the two of you finally part ways for the day.
Hotaru is the one taking care of your sword.
How could he not!
Not only he's a swordsmith, but he is also your husband, so his duty to you is doubled or even tripled! Not to mention, the sword is his own creation.
"Did you clean it? Are you sure it's clean? Maybe you chipped it? Let me see!"
You need to keep him away, using your own hands to make sure he won't get to your sword. "Hotaru, love. I am sure of all of it," You sigh, but before you know it he already has his hands on it.
How did he even do that?!
With careful eyes, he checks the blade and handle to be fully sure you're telling the truth.
He couldn't allow his beloved wife to walk around with a sword that isn't properly taken care of. Hotaru wanted to be sure you are safe. "It's getting blunt. I will sharpen it for you. You can take the other one."
And just like that, your husband is off to do his things. There is no stopping him nor making him postpone the work.
Speaking about work!
Hotaru is hard working and stubborn.
Once he gets to work... He. Is. Gone.
The mix of passion and dedication in his case are actually a "deadly" combination. There is no way of pulling him away. Sadly, even as his own wife, you don't have this privilege.
Once, when you attempted to take the sword away to stop him, Hotaru snapped at you, his voice filled with frustration. "Don't you see I'm busy? This must be done, and I won't deliver a poorly made sword!"
After that, you never tried that again.
He can be gone for the whole day and night while forging a new blade. It's annoying when you cannot spend the evening snuggling with your husband.
BUT you are actually useful when he loses his temper!
"Y/N-sama!" One of the young apprentices yells, getting your attention immediately. Kids here love you since you are much nicer than Hotaru, but one of them approaching you while on duty isn't something usual.
"What is it? Did something happen?" You ask, giving the boy a soft smile.
Boy nodded quickly. "It's Haganezuka! He lost it again."
Letting out an annoyed sigh, you nod and quickly follow the boy just to find your husband held by three swordsmiths, while he's thrashing around to get free while another swordsmith stood nearby.
"What happened here?!" You ask with a frown.
Hotaru growls. "He interrupted my work! I was almost done with the sword! Now I will have to start all over again! I'll kill you!"
You blink and rub your face, no matter how many times it happened, you still couldn't get used to it. "Hotaru. That's enough, let's go home. I will make you mitarashi dangos."
He immediately stops his thrashing around and looks at you. Other swordsmiths look at each other confused and slowly let him go.
Instead of attacking the man that took the sword, he walks to you and hugs you tightly. "Let's go. I want mitarashi dangos."
Of course, it's not the only situation like this. Things like this often happen because of his temper. Sometimes you need to resort to tickling his sides, but this ends in you dragging him back home and him later scolding you for even doing this.
Since he works hard. He gets hurt.
Hotaru hates this, but at the same time he loves it. No one likes to get hurt, and he as a swordsmith sometimes gets his hands a little damaged in his work fever.
It's annoying. Wounds even if shallow still hurt and disturb the work.
Thankfully, he has you and he can always count on your help. He will not admit it, but he loves the way your palms feel against his own when you wrap his injuries.
You are a slayer, yet your hands are small and soft compared to his. Not to mention, you are always so gentle and careful while taking care of you. No one else can take care of his injuries just like you do.
"There you go," you say sweetly, tying a knot on a fresh bandage on his hand. Before he can thank you, you press a soft kiss to the injury. "I told you to be careful and to work less, but you never listen. Is it really that hard to listen just a little bit? For once?”
No matter how many times he returned home with cuts or/and abrasions, you always helped him and then scolded him. Normally he would get angry at someone for talking to him like this, but when it comes to you; Hotaru can't be mad, he actually feels oddly happy you do this.
--------------
In summary.
Hotaru is a good man.
Others may hate him for his slightly angry nature, but that's because no one knows him like you do, not even a village chief.
He loves you in his own way and is forever grateful for you and the fact you love him back just as much.
Some people think you may regret marrying such a man, but you truly don't. He is the best thing that ever happened to you, and you wouldn't change him for anyone else.
#demon slayer#Haganezuka#demon slayer haganezuka#kny haganezuka#hotaru haganezuka#haganezuka x reader#demon slayer headcanons#hotaru haganezuka x reader#kny headcanons
4K notes
·
View notes
Note
i have an emily idea cooking … ok so they played together at louisville (maybe reader is a year or two younger than em) and dated. they broke up and emily left for the wnba. reader transferred to uconn bc louisville reminded her too much of emily. two years later reader is drafted and ends up on the mystics with emily 🙈
(guys i’m switching up the draft picks a little bit to fit the plot ok i know washington wasn’t second pick)
𖤓✎⋆·˚ ༘ *✧.*ੈ✩‧₊˚ end of beginning,,
part two
emily engstler x fem!ex!reader
“i am happy for you emily, truly i am.”
“then why are you breaking up with me? you don’t know that long distance won’t work.”
tears stream down both of your faces, a consequence of your decision to end things with emily. she committed to the draft that was only days away and was projected to rank very high. she was leaving louisville, which meant she was leaving you and the life you built together.
you weren’t mad at her at all. you really were happy for her and her accomplishments. it was going to break you to watch her leave and not come back, which is why you made the decision you did. selfishly, you needed to focus on your career. you needed to let her go so that the two of you could grow on your own.
“emily..”
“please don’t do this. we can try. i’ll try. please.”
you meant the world to emily, encouraged her to do great things and be a better person. she felt as if she owed the entire past year to you and your motivation that kept her going even through the darkest moments. you’d been a great comfort to her. there would be late nights when nothing else mattered but the feeling of you in her arms. she’d do anything for you.
she’d do anything for you.
“i can’t,”
your voice is barely above a whisper. you’re trying to hold back the sob threatening to spill over. sometimes the best choices were the hardest ones to make.
emily drags her hands down her face and peers over at you. you’re not looking at her anymore, head turned and eyes squeezed shut. she reaches out for you and cups her hand around the side of your face. when you lean into her touch she feels sick, finally letting the reality of having to let you go sink in.
“it’s okay. i get it, i know. i love you.”
she kisses your forehead as she stands, letting her hand drop back down to her side. you relish in the feeling before it’s gone because you know this will probably be the last time you feel it. that same feeling that still gives you butterflies.
“i love you too, em.”
that was two years ago.
you went to watch her get drafted, eyes teary and gleaming as you followed her figure walking to the stage after getting picked forth overall. you cheered and cried for her as if nothing had changed.
a few days after that you entered the transfer portal. everything reminded you too much of her. her name was still plastered on the cubby next to yours in the locker room, her scent still lingered in your sheets, her spot on the couch was left untouched, her absence in the home court was noted heavily.
you ended up signing with uconn. the last two years of your collegiate career were spent there, growing and expanding as not only a player but a person. the friends you made were phenomenal and helped you grieve with the ones you lost.
due to the extra work you were putting into your dream, you grew exponentially in popularity on social media along with your fellow teammate paige bueckers. you were close to everyone on the team, especially her. it led to people shipping the two of you much to your surprise.
you hadn’t dated anyone since emily.
but now it was your turn to be drafted. you committed to the draft alongside your two teammates nika and aaliyah. life was good. after two years of struggling and trying to find yourself, things were finally falling into place.
you’d gotten second overall pick in the first round. the washington mystics selected you and you were beyond grateful for the opportunity. you turned to give your coach a hug, noticing paige and azzi recording in the back with wide smiles on their faces.
it felt like a fever dream honestly. the rest of the night flew by, interviews and interactions seemingly only lasting seconds before you were pulled off to the next person. through the haze, you forgot what would be waiting for you once you arrived in washington.
or who.
emily watched the draft, nervous with anticipation to see where you’d end up. when she heard your name and washington mystics in the same sentence, her heart started pounding in her chest.
she never got over you. it made starting the league hard for her considering she lost her main pillar of love and support. her year with the indiana fever was full of intense moments and anger, always feeling like she wasn’t giving enough and kept having to prove herself.
the next year was even harder. she suffered a rough shoulder injury, leading to countless days of physical therapy and doctor visits. all without you.
to know that she’d see you again in only a short number of days was terrifying. you’d both be in training camp together which lasted weeks, spending day after day seeing each other. though it made her anxious, emily was also excited. she would get to see you again in all your glory, hopefully being able to smile and laugh together like you used to.
emily walked into the mystics gym, setting her bag down and standing to observe the room. there were a few people there already, you being one of them. her eyes immediately found you and your figure, so recognizable to emily.
you seemed to have this glowing aura around you. a smile was plastered on your face as you talked to ariel. you dribbled a basketball between your hands effortlessly, adjusting to the weight and getting used to your new surroundings. your eyes also wandered after you broke away from ariel, finding emily across the room.
you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss her. two years without her was a major struggle for you. sometimes, late at night, you wondered what it would’ve been like if you had never broken up with her. there were countless times when you regretted your choice. you never considered the fact that you could possibly be teammates again one day. certainly not so soon.
you wandered onto the court, leaving all your aimless thoughts behind. the rest of the trainees gathered with you and started a simple drill where you and a partner would take turns shooting and guarding one another.
by second nature you and emily found each other, shyly muttering a quick, “do you wanna be my partner?”
“yeah, i’d love to.” her heart was pounding at your words, imagining that maybe, just maybe, you missed her too. she smiled at your shyness, finding it ironic how your relationship had devolved.
emily was considerably taller than you, so shooting over her was not easy feat. at some moments you felt like she was letting you drain shots purposefully, even if she swore she wasn’t. you were even able to block a few of her shots, mostly when she kept her feet planted though.
after awhile and a few rotations, the coach offered a different drill. he split the group in two and let you scrimmage, you and emily somehow ending up on the same team.
it was giving you deja vu. anytime you’d get the ball emily was there either setting a screen or opening a path for you. it felt like she never left, like you never split, like you two were still the dynamic duo you were known to be at one point. like she was still your emily.
being here with her made you feel like your old self. the you from louisville, playing with the emily from louisville. in a time where you were both still in love and happy. another version of yourself was here, the best version of yourself.
after hours of sweating and nearly collapsing from being breathless, the day’s training was coming to an end. you drained one more three point shot, finally feeling satisfied with your performance. everyone cheered for you playfully as you collected your bag, quickly heading back to your car. you made it all the way to the parking lot before hearing a voice.
“you did really good today.”
you turned to see emily standing behind you, slightly disheveled and out of breath. she was smiling softly at you the same way she used to. it still made you flutter to this day, especially when you remember all the memories the two of you share.
“thank you, you too! your defense is still so good.”
“thank you,”
you both stood there in silence, not quite ready to break away. being around her offered you some sense of comfort in such an unfamiliar place.
“how’s paige?”
“paige? i mean, she’s good.”
“are you two, like.. together?”
“what- no. we’re just friends.”
emily nods, satisfied at the information. she’s slightly embarrassed for even asking, but she had to know. she had to know if you moved on with someone else.
“so then, is it okay if i take you out to dinner?”
“like, right now?”
“just tonight. you can shower and stuff of course.”
you don’t even have to think about your answer. you’d been wanting a moment like this for over a year. you missed her so much, too much. it was starting to affect you mentally. you’d wonder about her too often, having to fight some of the strongest urges to reach out to her and ask how she was doing.
“yeah, yeah. i’d really like that.”
she’s smiling, allowing it to reach her eyes as she waves you off. she felt like she was home again, even though she was still thousands of miles away. you were here, and that’s all she needed. any moment with you felt so right.
she took the time apart from you to grow as her own person, but now she was ready to grow again with you.
hopefully, you’d be ready too.
𖤓✎⋆·˚ ༘ *✧.*ੈ✩‧₊˚
guys hopefully the song makes sense for this fic
should i make a part two idk?!!?!
also i will spell check this tomorrow.
#emily engstler i love you#rea loves em#emily engstler fic#emily engstler smut#emily engstler imagine#emily engstler x reader#emily engstler#masc lesbian#lesbian#bisexual#wlw slay#wlw angst#wlw yearning#wlw post#i love my moots#lgbtqia#lgbtq
739 notes
·
View notes
Text
Astro Observation Pt 4
I hope you all are doing awesome and the last few posts resonated with you! Also, thank you so much for 250 followers <33 means so much to me
here we go :)
1.Taurus placements really like food, cooking. I mean, we all do, but its a little extra with them.
2.Taurus moons really have a soothing presence and voice, however, they may come as highly opinionated sometimes. They are usually very kind and polite while talking and may like things like art, music, poetry or, reading/ enjoying such things and actively talking about it.
3.I read somewhere that 8th house is temporary death while 12th house is what happens after death, maybe that is why it is the last house. Example, 12th house Capricorns may come back to give/receive karma, 12th house Scorpios may learn and complete the soul lessons or karmic contracts.
4.I dont know how many people does it resonates with since I only know a few capricorn risings but more these natives like structure and order, they sometimes secretly wanna run away from all and everything, probably just disappear or move to the countryside lol...may even struggle with maldaptive daydreaming. Also, they definitely don't wanna/can't be tamed AT ALL...you can't tell them what to do lol ..I wonder if it has something to do with the Sag 12th house. They do accept opinions and suggestions, but very selectively
5. The birth of a capricorn sun/rising/stellium child can be karmic. In the sense that, they are here to dispose karma to other people, while learn their own. Maybe because the ruler is Saturn. One of the things that can follow is a change/shift in the circumstances of the family.
6. This makes me think, 12th house indeed can show our hidden thoughts or desires. People with Sag risings have scorpio in 12th house, and this can secretly make them wanna have some kind of command, control and authority. I am a Sag rising, and this holds true for me.
7. Speaking of NN in solar return, I read someone reblogging my post saying they believe NN can also represent the lessons you learn and grow from, I instead believe its more of a karmic/soul lesson/fated thing, that rather tranforms/grows your soul and you may go through a huge shift in your perspective and some life-changing experiences concerning that area of life. Something that we are moving into, and will affect us from that point onwards, like a new theme unlocking.
Chiron, on the other hand, is different. No one wonder chiron is actually call the wounded healer, something that hurts and then heals.
example, nn in 1st house can mean you will go through major themes and experiences that will make you focus more on yourself and finding your identity and purpose and this should affect your further years. more of a spiritual growth
chiron in the 1st house can instead mean you will go through experiences that will make you question yourself, some kind of identity crisis, that will further lead to you believing and finding your true self. more of a personal growth.
i hope i made sense. moreover, astrology interpretations are very personal :) and you dont have to agree with anything i said if it doesnt feel right.
8. libra moon imo is one of the best moon placement to have. they are able to present their emotions pretty nicely and in order and that makes sense somehow. This is also a placement for a hopeless romantic tho lmao.
9. Libra MC people may always look confused. Somehow even struggling to chose between a pastry and a cake lmao.
10. I think women with Virgo+ Scorpio placements are the ones that can make the best lie detectors/detectives/real baddies. They may also enjoy dark psychology/ true crime stories/thriller.
11. Men with Venus in Saggitarius may like spiritual/religious women.
12. I think people with Venus-Asc aspects may always/eventually find beauty and confidence in their appearance and themselves, and that is very amazing imo.
13. Women with Pluto-Asc aspects may like dominance in some shape or form and may have a really good self control and hold of themselves.
14. I will want to ask, do people who have Uranus Retrogade in their chart somehow struggle with breaking electrical appliances/gadgets often? Like it will just break somehow?
15. Having asteroid industria at 28 degrees can show you have a potential to earn huge money through your career.
16. Wherever Jupiter lies in your chart, is where you can expect divine protection. Jupiter in 10th house? Protection from people with malicious intents/a bad public image. Jupiter in 6th house? Protection from accidents and diseases. Jupiter in 12th house? protection from hidden enemies/backstabbing. Jupiter in 11th house? Protection from fake friends/people.
17. I have often seen people say you should marry your 7th house sign but i would disagree again. The 7th house/DC is more about the qualities we admire in other people, and what do we look for while forming ANY relationship with others and this does not always have to mean that you would get along with them romantically.
support me on ko-fi :)
thats all for this post<33 i love you all. Please leave post recommendations, if you have any in the ask, messages or comments :)
#astro#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#astrology#astrology community#astrology placements#astrology notes#astro placements#astro posts#venus in astrology#astrology tumblr#astrology observations#astrology signs#astro thoughts#astrology blog#astroloji#astro tumblr#astro talks#astro predictions#taurus#capricorn#sagittarius#lilacstro#lilacstronotes#lilacstro observations#zodiacsigns#zodiac#zodic signs#birth chart
896 notes
·
View notes
Text
... carried flower petals
pt 2 to this
notes: I AM. such a bad writer. help. going through double the stages of grief on this one. who even cares. who even gaf! i don't. im winning in the dgaf wars. (lying)
samurai!soshiro hoshina x fem!reader NSFW! w/ m/f sex. no i did not proofread this. this isn't a flex i actively just squinted trying not to look too hard at my own writing. this is also hoshina pov word count: 2415
hoshina supposes that he couldn’t blame you for your reaction. there was no way you would have been happy about marrying him, a complete and utter stranger–no matter how many times you might have met prior. and in the three times you’d met, he’d tried to keep his distance. there was an aura of deep discontent about you, and he didn’t want to disturb you, for fear that your anger would turn darker.
at least, until you pulled a dagger on him.
the dagger that he’d gifted you, no less.
or, well–he hadn’t gifted it to you directly. he had selected the gift, but it had come alongside the marriage offer–and so hoshina wondered if you’d conflated the dagger as something utterly negative. when he’d picked out the dagger, he’d vowed it to keep you safe from harm. a selfish well-wishing on his part, sure–as a samurai, he was bound to make enemies that could hurt you.
he raises a hand to his neck, touching where you might have slashed him.
would he have let you?
he brings himself to his feet as the sliding door to his room opens. you stand in the doorway, dressed in a simple nightgown–a far cry from the garments you wore during the ceremony.
his mind flits back to them, for a moment–you’d chosen to wear pure white, contrasting him in his black haori and hakama. your expression had been severe, distant even then. you’d followed your new attendants into the quarters of your new housing within the hoshina clan’s home to change out of your wedding attire, and you hadn’t met his glance once.
you bow your head.
“your attendants tell me you’re quite the talent in bed,” you say, your voice crisp. your eyes meet his, your gaze unreadable. his eyes flick to your hands, folded neatly in front of you–and yet your fingers are fidgeting ever so slightly, a possible indication of just how nervous you were.
hoshina can’t help but laugh.
“is that what they say? my mother can’t help but find people that run their mouths…” hoshina runs a hand through his hair. “sit. i can’t have my wife–” the word still felt foreign to him–wife, he was really a husband, was that even a moniker that fit him?–but he swallows his misgivings, pats one of the cushions next to the futon. “–standing for so long. it would be unfitting.”
“so are you?” you gather your kimono, sitting down.
hoshina hums.
“if i tell you, would you see me differently?” hoshina asks.
“well. you’re my husband,” you say. the corners of your lips twitch when you say the word husband, your brow furrowing a little bit as you say it. a clear show of your definite displeasure. “i have to… accept it, after all. as your wife. hell, your attendants tell me that you were in the process of courting concu–”
“ahh,” hoshina leans his head back. “so is that what that’s all about?” he sighs, a strange, tightening pressure forming somewhere in his throat. the marriage acceptance hadn’t been on his end. it’d been his father’s, much to his mother’s chagrin. you were from a no-name clan, having long lost your family’s relevance. his mother had complained about your family’s name dragging down the hoshina family’s name.
but as hoshina reminisced–he couldn’t give a damn about his family name.
his brother–his proud, arrogant, stubborn, awful brother–had made his opinion on their family name very clear, by just leaving.
hoshina did resent him for it, just a little. it just meant that he couldn’t run away, now.
“no. the concubine rumor’s bullshit,” hoshina says. “quite honestly, i couldn’t be bothered. i’m not in the interest of producing my family an heir.”
“huh?” you ask, sounding confused. “but–” “i mean. the sex is fine,” hoshina says candidly, placidly. “and if the family gets an heir, we get an heir. but it’s never been my concern. i think you ought not to worry about it, either. our families need each other. it’ll be reason enough for you to stay.”
you stare at him, perplexed for the moment, before your brow also furrows.
“so, you… don’t, want—”
“mm. you pulled a knife on me last time we talked,” hoshina teases as he begins to undo his ponytail. “i thought that made your opinion on me fairly clear. i won’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable if you don’t want it. my folks won’t be happy, but there’s nothing like lying that can’t fix that.” he runs a hand through his hair. “so it’s your call.”
you watch him.
“it’s fine,” you say. you lean in closer to him, and he simply watches you—watches you like he did on the first day the two of you met, watches you like he did when you raised the dagger to his throat. always watching, waiting for you to make the first move.
“i’d rather just get it over with,” you say. “the first time.”
“mm. as you command, then,” hoshina says.
when he leans in to kiss you, he does it slowly. you taste faintly of the sake you drank during the marriage ceremony, though the alcohol has long worn off.
he wishes he could take you apart more cleanly. to take you apart with intention. he can draw the lines from the veins in your wrist to the beating, fluttering of your heart in your breast. you kiss him with your eyes open, as if you’re watching for his every movement. he supposes that he’s watching you, too, trying to see what you’ll do. what you like.
“are you just going to kiss me?” you murmur, something like spite in your voice. “or are you actually going to show me something interesting?”
“interesting?” he pulls back from the kiss, raising an eyebrow.
“i’ve read all the woodcuts,” you say. “as apparently was my duty as your wife. i was just wondering if there was anything more interesting than that.”
“mm. you can’t possibly learn what it feels like through reading alone,” hoshina says. “experience is the best teacher.”
“big talk,” you retort. hoshina almost hates the way his heart flutters at your words, entranced by you. one hand reaches out to touch your face, the other hand gently reaching down to undo your obi as he pulls you closer to him, letting you straddle his lap.
“i’m afraid most of my lovers say i’m a talkative one,” hoshina purrs. “but i hope you’ll find me satisfactory.” when he leans in to kiss you again, your sash falls gently onto the ground, and the inner layers of your kimono come undone.
he’s had no small share of lovers—or, well, general brothel experience, he supposes. he’s a man in the end—a samurai from a family of renown, for whom many lovers might have found him appealing simply for how much money he was willing to pay for good service. but he knows what he’s doing, in any case.
he revels in it, though—at how responsive and jittery you seem to be. the faintest touch of his hand against your skin is enough to make you jolt out of your skin, and you whimper ever so slightly as his fingers pull at a nipple, and he feels your pulse jump in your throat as his teeth graze at your neck. he feels you shift against him, attempt to press your thighs together and he laughs.
he’s surprised there, too—the way you shudder when he laughs, as he’s pressed against you.
when his fingers seek between your legs, he’s thrilled, but still surprised to find the telltale sign of slick.
“mm. this wet already, really?” hoshina teases. his hand brushes against your inner thigh, coaxing you to spread your legs a little more, and he feels your leg twitch against the shift of his knuckles. “you’re desperate.”
“as if.” your breath sounds shuddery, and hoshina laughs, not meanly. he wonders how he could take you apart—could he use just his mouth? his fingers? the mere suggestion of touching you, just using words alone? he wanted to know, desperately so. desperately in the same way he wanted to know your heart, if only you’d let him. but in the meantime, he smiles—and it’s more of a smirk.
he takes his fingers to his mouth, sucking the wetness from his fingers, and he revels in the way you flush, a half-scandalized and half-flustered sound escaping your mouth.
“it’s alright,” hoshina says, teasing.
“i don’t—need you to tell me it’s alright,” you say, flustered. “i just—”
“less talking from you,” hoshina says, fondly. gently. he’s entranced by you, the swell of your breast and the way your skin flushes red from your neck to your collarbones. he wishes he could sink his teeth into your pulse—or would you give him your beating heart, let him devour the tender organ? “you’re doing wonderfully. do you feel up for more?”
you pause, biting your lip. he marvels at the way your fingers twitch against his in anticipation, and your brow furrows.
“let—i want to be on top,” you say, and hoshina simply smiles.
“alright,” he acquiesces. “i’m all yours.”
that much was true. he was learning far too quickly that he was very much a man that would follow you anywhere, that he was at your beck and call.
you help him undress with shaking hands, pulling his belt away and pushing the kimono from his shoulders. your hands stop for a moment as you survey his chest—hoshina watches your face, propped back and leaning back on his hands. your fingers press against a deep scar against his chest, and your eyes meet his.
“long story,” hoshina says softly. “not the kind i’d tell my wife on our first night together, anyhow.”
your hand gently touches his cock and he hisses, practically, wincing at how it feels like too much and not much at all. it takes most of his discipline to not rut up into the touch, to let himself be taken by that pleasure. you gently push him back, letting him lie back against the futon.
as you lower yourself slowly onto his cock, hoshina watches as your fingers flex against his chest, your eyes squeeze and your toes desperately curl. he shifts his hips a little bit, and you whimper.
“don’t tease,” you keen.
“m’not.”
hoshina thinks it’s quite the opposite, really. he’s a patient man, but not this patient. you’re about halfway down his cock at this point, slowly taking him in bit by bit—and then his patience just snaps somehow when he hears you whine again. not in a bad way—just in a he’ll fucking die like this, he’s sure kind of way.
you gasp immediately as he thrusts up, causing you to bottom out. your hips meet his, and you lean your head back, a loud and desperate moan leaving your lips.
“y-you awful man,” you moan out, something like a pout in your tone. “i wanted to take my time—”
“mm—hm. sorry,” hoshina teases, not quite apologetic at all. his voice strains a bit—you feel almost like a fire, your cunt desperately squeezing against his cock. “just don’t think i’ll last long with you squeezing me like this. does it feel that good?”
your face flushes, your hair plastered to your forehead.
“shut up.”
“i’ll take that as a yes, then,” hoshina says, unrepentant in the way he thrusts up into you, reveling in the way you respond to each movement with tiny little whimpers that stretch into longer and longer cries. you don’t say his name, but he finds himself uncaring for the moment. does he wish you’d say his name? does he wish, however selfishly, that this moment might burn itself into your memory?
surely he doesn’t. it would be unbecoming of him to ask that much.
your hand leans out, digging into his skin, and he lets out a soft, raspy breath, taking your hand into his.
“‘m close,” you whimper out through shaking breaths, and hoshina’s heart squeezes again, at the way your hips cant against his, as if each touch almost hurts, but you can’t help but continue to press your hips against his, trying to find more traction. hoshina smirks, his free hand reaching out to thumb at your clit, flicking upwards, and tries to see if he can memorize the way you seize up against him, the way you squeeze down on his cock–tries to see if he can memorize every twitch.
he hopes he can.
you cum soon after, and your hand digs into his so hard that he wonders if you might be able to break his fingers one day–and hopes that you can. he holds you tightly against him, letting you ride out the waves of your orgasm as you whimper tiny uh, uh, uhs–until you wince.
“hurts, i–please,” you say, and hoshina takes pity on you for the moment, pulls out, and strokes soothingly at your face. your chest heaves, and hoshina thinks he could get lost in your every motion. as hoshina shifts to move away–he’d rather prioritize your comfort over his in the end, so despite the fact that he was hard to the point it almost hurt, he figured he’d just deal with it on his own—you shift up.
“but you–you didn’t,” you say after a moment, grabbing his wrist.
“hm?” hoshina hums. “mm. don’t worry about me, dear. i’m more than capable of–fuck, you–” his voice halts right as your hand wraps around his cock, your thumb grazing over the head of it ever so gently. “fuck. you-you don’t have to–”
“please,” you say, something like disdain–or spite? or something, he really couldn’t tell–in your voice. “i can do this much.”
he cums embarrassingly fast–the mixture of being so strung out at this point, so strangely affected, enamored by you–and he can’t help but laugh. he wants to press his face into your collarbone, but he can’t bring himself to cross the distance. he hums, instead, simply exhaling through his teeth for a moment.
“get some rest,” hoshina says. he watches as your face shifts ever so slightly–and he wishes he knew you better, if only so he could understand what you were thinking.
“alright,” you say.
hoshina fears he’s in love.
but the part of him that knows better says he shouldn’t be. he watches silvery moonlight paint the planes of your back, and you turn away from him, lost in sleep.
he sighs.
#kaiju no 8#soshiro hoshina#soshiro hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro x reader#kaiju no 8 x reader#x reader#kn8 x reader#kn8 smut
471 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Younger Kind Part 53 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley is surprised by what Maverick has to tell him, and he's not sure how to convey his mixed feelings to you. The urge to keep everything inside is strong, but you catch on right away and shut it down. In the end, he's not sure he has made the right decision.
Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, pregnancy topics, and age gap (18+)
Length: 4500 words
Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader
Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.
There was something a bit ominous about the way Maverick said, "Rooster. We need to talk."
Bradley followed him toward the tower immediately, getting more annoyed by the second. This was supposed to be an exciting day. You and Bradley had started telling people you were engaged. It was a shame that Casey was among the first to find out, but Bradley had expected Maverick of all people to remember his plans for the weekend.
But Bradley didn't say a word until they were inside the tower in private. "She said yes, by the way," he told his godfather blandly. "I proposed after the air show."
Maverick grinned and pulled him in for a tight hug that Bradley barely returned. "That's wonderful. I was just about to ask, but I knew she would say yes." He slapped him on the back before releasing him. "So it's safe to tell Penny now?"
Bradley rolled his eyes and couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. It's safe. She can't ruin anything at this point."
Then Maverick's smile started to fade, and Bradley remembered exactly why he had followed him here to begin with. "We really do need to talk, Bradley, and I'm not sure you're going to want to hear this right now."
Bradley braced his hand on the wall next to him and asked, "Are you deploying me?"
"Not exactly," he replied as if he was trying to choose his words very carefully.
But Bradley was so used to being spoiled right now, he didn't have the patience for this. He had you and Noah and now a baby and a wedding, too. "Just spit it out, Mav. Please."
He glanced around and cleared his throat, and Bradley's nerves just got worse when he finally spoke. "Your name came up behind closed doors. The admirals have you listed as a top selection for a training mission."
"What kind of training?" Bradley asked, wishing he would just get on with it.
Maverick's voice dropped lower as he said, "Sixth-generation fighters. Nothing that's available in the U.S. You'd be one of the first to fly them for tactical testing."
"You're joking," Bradley rasped, his body frozen as Maverick shook his head.
"It's no joke. It's also optional. Not your traditional deployment. Nobody is going to force you to go this time. I can't supply you with many more details unless you give your verbal and written agreement to participate, but I can say that this would go a long way toward career advancement."
"Shit."
You were pregnant. This was not the best time to leave for optional training. But six-generation technology was something he might never get to experience during his career unless he partook in this. It would be years, maybe even a decade, before Naval aviators were flying these jets off of carriers for real missions. He knew exactly what this meant. He could be among the very first to take them up in the air, and his flight details could help shape the way these jets were eventually distributed to the United States and used by the military. "Jesus, Mav."
He nodded in response. "I know the timing isn't ideal for you and your family, but it's something you should seriously consider. Go home and talk to your fiancée about it, and if you decide you want to be included in the meeting on Thursday, let me know."
"Right," Bradley muttered. "Am I dismissed?"
"Yeah. Head home. I'll see you tomorrow."
Bradley should have gone directly home and waited for you and Noah to arrive, but instead he took his time in the locker room. He tried to imagine what it would be like to leave you for a few weeks or months while you were pregnant, but it made him feel too uncomfortable. He could turn the opportunity down without even mentioning it to you. That actually sounded like a pretty good plan.
While he showered and got changed, he felt guilty in a different way. He didn't want to hide this from you even though all he wanted to do was protect you. And part of him really wanted to fly these prototype jets. If he did, he could leave a lasting impression on the future of Naval aviation even after he was done spending time in the cockpit.
"Fuck," he muttered as he packed all of his things up for the day and headed outside to his Bronco. It was actually pretty late now, and there was no doubt you were at home with Noah, probably making dinner. But Bradley took a detour to the coffee shop first, and then he stood there like an idiot for a few seconds, because he wasn't sure if you were still supposed to have caffeine or not.
He ended up ordering the decaf version of your favorite drink. Then he asked the barista to borrow a sharpie, and he wrote something new on the cup this time. He stuffed a few dollars into the tip jar and headed home, still completely undecided about what he wanted to do.
---------------------------
Noah was his usual adorable self, and you wanted to be having a good day, but you were exhausted from work and Casey. Dinner was in the oven, and you were taking the time to carefully cut apples into peanut butter snails for Noah to have as his dessert, but Bradley wasn't even home yet.
You were looking forward to getting changed out of your wrinkled scrubs and taking a long shower, which would be much easier to do if he were here. Everything was easier with him around. You started planning a trip to Disneyland on your phone while dinner cooked, but you wanted to run it past him before you booked anything. You smiled softly, knowing Bradley would tell you to put it on your princess card before thanking you for planning the next family vacation. But you had your first doctor's appointment coming up and thought it was better to go to Disneyland after that. But October was looking promising.
When you heard the front door open, and Skittles scampered into the living room, you felt your body sag against the counter in relief. "Daddy's home," you told Noah, and he pushed his new dinosaur coloring book aside and followed after Skittles. You brought up the rear, but that just meant that you'd get the longest hug from Bradley when it was your turn.
"Come here, Mrs. Bradshaw," he rasped after he set Noah and Skittles down, and you were tucked in his embrace with your nose buried against him immediately. It was obvious that he was tired and hungry, but he didn't rush anything. He just held you like his life depended on it. Soft kisses teased along your forehead and temple as he whispered, "I brought you some coffee."
Then you noticed the cup he had set down on the TV stand, and you rubbed your cheek against his chest as you read it. "That's adorable, Daddy." He had scrawled Princess +1 on the cup this time, and it made your face feel warm. "But I think I need to cut back on my caffeine consumption."
"It's decaf, Princess" he whispered, his lips and mustache brushing the shell of your ear.
The soft moan that left your lips had him chuckling as you said, "The baby and I thank you." Then you ditched his arms in favor of the coffee cup. When the kitchen timer went off, you kept your eyes on Bradley as you walked backwards away from him. "After Noah goes to bed, I want to talk about something important. It rhymes with Tisneyland. I thought we could go next month. After I talk to my doctor, of course."
He winced for a split second, but it would have been impossible to miss. Okay. You thought he made it clear he wanted to go on another family trip. Maybe he changed his mind. "Shit," he whispered, swallowing hard. "We can... we can go. No problem. Whenever you want."
The timer was still buzzing, otherwise you would have pressed the issue. Without another word you turned toward the kitchen and grabbed the oven mitts so you could get dinner on the table. But Bradley was acting strange. He even seemed more subdued with Noah which had you worried.
"What happened at work?" you asked, sliding a plate of dinner in front of him.
He shrugged. "Just a regular day. But I did tell Nat we're engaged." At least he smiled when he said that, and then he reached for you, looking up at you as you stood next to him. "Hey, I can't wait to go to Tisneyland with you."
You couldn't help but laugh, but you said, "We don't have to go in October. We can go next year or never. I just thought it was something you wanted to do."
"Book it," he said, squeezing your hip before dropping his hand. "I'll request a day off as soon as you book it after your appointment. We can take a long weekend."
Something was wrong, and you couldn't place it. But his eyes were clouded with doubt and your stomach soured so much, you could barely eat your own dinner. This didn't feel like the sweet man who agreed to go to daycare drop off with you this morning simply because you didn't want to go alone. When you offered to get Noah ready for bed, he agreed without really paying any attention to your words.
"Come here, Sweet Noah," you whispered after Bradley kissed him goodnight, clearly distracted. You got him into his pajamas and got his teeth brushed, and like usual, he was yawning before his head even hit the pillow. You started to read him the book about farm animals that you picked out a few months ago with Bradley, and even though he was sound asleep by page two, you finished reading it just to have a few extra minutes with him.
Eventually you found Bradley sitting on the couch with Skittles on his lap. When you leaned against the doorway, he held his hand out to coax you forward. "You didn't tell me about your day," he said softly.
"I tried to during dinner, but it's like you weren't even there," you bit back, not moving an inch. "What's wrong? You change your mind about getting married?" you asked, holding up your left hand and spinning the ring loose with your fingers. "Or about the baby?"
Now he was up off the couch in an instant, Skittles looking rather alarmed by his sudden movement. "Hey," Bradley snarled, pulling you against him with his left hand and using his right fingers to push your ring back into place. "Don't say that. It's never going to happen."
"Then what's wrong?" you asked, giving him no room to continue to be vague and weird with you. "Just tell me."
"You gonna keep that ring on?" he asked, and you saw a flash of everything you loved so much about him in his eyes.
You pressed up onto your toes and kissed him. "Yes," you whispered before kissing him again and again. "I'll keep it on. Just tell me what's wrong."
He pulled you toward the couch, and after he sat, you straddled his lap while Skittles curled up on the cushion next to you. "Nothing's wrong," he whispered, his big hands sliding down your hips to your thighs, stroking you through the thin fabric of your pants. He was staring at your name where it was embroidered on your scrub shirt instead of meeting your eyes. "Earlier today, Maverick told me about something... interesting."
"Go on," you whispered, raking your fingers through his soft hair. "I already know something's bothering you, so just say it, Daddy."
He nodded slightly and kissed your forearm before he finally met your gaze. "It sounds like there's a brand new fleet of aircrafts with technology updates that have never been flown by American pilots before. I'm on a short list of aviators who have been invited to train on these jets overseas, most likely in the hopes that the Navy will adopt these planes in the future."
You nibbled on your lip and considered his words. "So, it's kind of like a deployment?" you asked, still dragging your fingers through his hair as you scooted a little closer.
"Sort of," he said softly. "But it's optional. And I'm going to tell Mav I don't want to go. I'll be here, okay? We can go to Disneyland next month."
You studied his handsome face, and while he looked more relaxed now that he told you what Maverick said, you knew that wasn't the end of it. You pieced it together in your mind and leaned the rest of the way to his lips. He accepted your kiss as he rubbed his hands slowly along your thighs. You hummed and let your forehead rest against his.
Your voice was calm as you asked, "But you do want to go, don't you?"
He remained quiet, but he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you so your body was flush against his and your cheek was resting on his shoulder. You relaxed against the steady rise and fall of his chest and the soothing beating of his heart.
When he finally spoke, his voice was gravelly and deep, and it made you shiver. "The last thing I want is to be away from you and Noah and the baby. I don't want you under the impression that those thoughts are on my mind, okay? That's not what this is."
"I believe you, Bradley," you whispered against his neck. "But this sounds like a big deal. You made the list? Over so many other people? They chose you to try something brand new?"
His voice was a little more forceful as he said, "I do not want to leave you alone right now. It wouldn't be fair."
You kissed your way up his neck until your lips found his earlobe, and you kissed him there, too. You inhaled the smell of his shampoo as you said, "I love you, and I want to support you as much as you support me. If you want to do this, then I think you should."
There was no denying that you felt safer and more loved when you were with Bradley than you ever had before. But this was his career, and it sounded like he had a chance to be part of something huge.
"You're right, Baby. I do want to go."
You nodded as he held you. "Do you have any other details?"
"No. There's a meeting on Thursday that I can sit in on if I let Mav know I'm interested, but I doubt I'll get a ton of information short of a departure date and maybe a location unless I sign on for this thing."
You kissed his cheek and pulled away so you could look at his face. "Next time, just tell me what's on your mind instead of trying to make an important decision without me."
"I'm sorry," he whispered, reaching for your left hand and kissing your palm and the spot where the band of your engagement ring wrapped around your finger. "But next time, don't even pretend like you're taking this thing off."
"I won't."
--------------------------
Somehow Bradley made it all the way to the meeting on Thursday, his curiosity piqued. When he found out where the meeting was being held, he was even more surprised.
"Come to Admiral Simpson's office promptly at one o'clock," Maverick told him, and Bradley silently thanked you for clearing things up with Cyclone the way you had. There was no way his name would have made it onto any list if you didn't send the man a glass of bourbon at Warlock's retirement party.
"I'll be there," he promised. And if he was surprised by the location, he was even more surprised when he showed up to find Cyclone and Maverick waiting for him and him alone.
"Sir?" Bradley asked, standing until he was given permission to sit. He knew better than to ask a single question about the training before he had some information to work with, but his brain was swirling nonstop. You and he stayed up last night making a list of things he needed to know before making a decision. For example, Bradley desperately wanted to fly these sixth-gen fighters, but he wasn't willing to be gone for months on end. Hell, you still hadn't seen your doctor yet. That appointment wasn't happening until Monday.
"Lieutenant Bradshaw," Cyclone said, pushing a folder toward Bradley as he sat down behind his desk. "We chose you for this training protocol. Only you. If you are unwilling, then we will regroup and try to select someone else. However, time is tight and details are going to be scarce unless you agree to participate. Do you understand?"
"I understand, Sir," he replied, and then Cyclone tapped his fingers on the folder before releasing it to Bradley.
Maverick was standing near the window, and Bradley got the feeling that his godfather was proud of him. He still wasn't sure why he was the only one here, but as he opened the folder and skimmed the pages, many of his immediate questions were answered.
As soon as he saw it, he shook his head. "You want me to fly to Japan on Monday morning? Because if that's a hard set date, then my immediate answer is no."
He closed the folder and started to hand it back to Cyclone who was sharing a look with Maverick. "And if we could push it to Tuesday?" he asked without taking the folder.
"I'm listening," Bradley replied, honestly wondering what he had that the other pilots didn't.
Maverick stepped away from the window. "Bradl- Lieutenant Bradshaw," he corrected right away. Bradley realized it was hard for both of them to separate their professional relationship from the personal one they shared, especially when they did things like take family vacations together. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You were chosen for your skill set and the way you prioritize communication. We don't want to have to select someone else, especially when we believe you'd be the best pilot available."
Cyclone cleared his throat and added, "Consider Tuesday morning your new departure time. Do you have an answer?"
Bradley blinked at him a few times, glanced down at the information in the folder, and then looked up again. "You need me to give you an answer right now? Sir?"
He nodded once and folded his hands. "Before you leave my office."
---------------------------
You were too tired to do anything after work except pick Noah up from preschool. Seriously, if Casey even tried to talk to you, it was going to be her funeral. But for once, luck was on your side, because she wasn't even there. You signed Noah out without incident and headed home to talk about this special training mission.
Bradley must have learned his lesson from earlier this week. You couldn't believe he was about to make a decision without you like that, just to try to save you the stress. You could handle it. After your appointment on Monday, you could handle anything that came your way.
When he got home shortly after you did, he told you immediately that he needed to talk to you. He kissed Noah on the top of his head and pulled you to the kitchen doorway, a frantic look on his face as he stroked your cheek with his fingers. "I'm going."
Your heart plummeted. He really did decide without talking to you about the details. You wanted him to go, but you also wanted to talk about the pros and cons with him first. But in the end, you really had no say here at all. "You are? I thought we were going to talk it through."
"We were," he whispered. "That was my intention, Princess. But they made me decide before I could leave Cyclone's office."
You made a concerned face. "Cyclone's office? How did everyone fit in there?"
Bradley shook his head, his cheeks a little ruddy from frustration or embarrassment, you weren't sure which. "They didn't, Princess. It was just me. I was the whole list of people."
"Oh," you gasped. It was hard for you to understand at times that he was at the top of his career, because he was just as devoted to his life at home. With you and Noah. "Where are you going? And when do you leave?"
"Japan," he rasped, his face full of guilt now. "And I leave on Tuesday morning."
The pounding of your heart was making you feel nauseous. "Tuesday?"
He nodded. "They originally wanted me to leave on Monday, and if that was the case, I was ready to turn it down, no further questions asked."
"You were?"
His eyes went wide. "I'm not missing the first appointment for something optional."
You nodded slowly, because that brought up your next question. You sensed he might be missing subsequent appointments. "When will you be back?"
He wrapped his hands around your hips and pulled you closer to him. "I have no idea."
Then you started to cry, and you felt like such an idiot. You wanted him to go. You wanted him to have this experience and impact new pilots in the future, but you also thought you'd have a little more time before he left. "Just come back safely," you whispered while he let you cry in his arms.
--------------------------
Bradley noticed right away that you were a little distant. Maybe you needed a day or two to process everything, but in another day or two, he'd be packing and leaving. He thought he was doing what you wanted him to, but you cried yourself to sleep on Thursday. You were obviously exhausted and frankly kind of moody, and now he was kicking himself for agreeing to a training mission that had no disclosed ending date.
"Fuck," he grunted on Saturday afternoon when he took Noah to the park so you could have some time to yourself. Pretty soon, you'd be on single, pregnant parent duty around the clock for probably weeks on end. Bradley's guilt was really prevalent now.
"Daddy?" Noah asked as he was being pushed on the swing.
"Yeah, Bub?"
"Can I have a Halloween costume?"
"Of course," Bradley groaned, cradling his forehead in his hand. Halloween was still six weeks away, but he could already imagine the tears in his son's eyes if he wasn't home in time for trick-or-treating. Hell, he hadn't even explained to Noah that he was going away again yet. "You can pick something out with Mommy," he added, his voice harsh now.
Noah looked back at him over his shoulder and started to slow himself down. When he jumped out of the swing, he ran to Bradley who scooped him up. "Can we go home?" he asked. He wrapped his arms around Bradley's neck like he could tell he needed a hug. "I miss Mommy and Skittles."
Bradley kissed his son's cheek. "You know what? I miss them, too. Let's go home." He buckled Noah in and drove slowly. He should probably start packing tonight, but he was just dying to spend some time alone with you. The last thing he wanted was to return to a quiet house and a quiet fiancée right now. You and he were going to need to have another conversation about this, and he already felt like a jerk for wanting to have everything.
When he pulled into the driveway as the sun was starting to set, you were in the front yard with Skittles on her leash. You were wearing one of your little floral dresses, and Bradley almost ran into your car as he looked at you. God, he was stupid for voluntarily agreeing to leave you. Once he was parked, you opened the back door and started unbuckling Noah and lifting him out like the most devoted mom in the world, and Bradley was about to lose his mind if he couldn't sort this out tonight.
"Hey, Daddy," you said softly as you turned, holding a very sleepy looking Noah against your shoulder. "Should we feed him dinner and get him in bed?"
"I think so," Bradley replied, eyeing you up and down, his gaze catching on your glossy lips. "You look gorgeous. Why are you all dressed up?"
You shrugged like it was nothing. "I just wanted to look cute for you."
His eyebrows shot up in response. "Don't you always?"
A soft smile found your lips as you started to head for the front door with Noah. Bradley followed you inside, and once Noah was eating leftovers, he pulled you into the hallway where he pushed you back against the wall.
"Does this mean we can talk about some things tonight?" he asked, stroking your bottom lip before kissing you softly.
You moaned gently into his mouth as his weight pressed against you. "Yes," you whispered. "Of course. We can talk about anything you want."
"You told me you wanted me to fly this mission," he said, and you nodded before you kissed the tip of his nose.
"I know. And I do. I just needed to process everything. The timeline just threw me off a little bit. And if I'm being honest, it's never not going to be scary when you leave."
"I'm coming back," he promised, knowing full well he only had so much control over that. "I'm coming back to my family as soon as I can."
This time when you nodded, you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the lips. "I know, Daddy," you whimpered between filthy kisses, rubbing yourself against him. He rutted you back into the wall, and you moaned his name as he cupped your ass. And that's when he felt it, firm against his fingertips compared to the softness of your body.
"Fuck," he grunted, easing your dress up inch by inch until he was touching the silicone.
"Do you want me to put my crown on to match?" you asked sweetly as he spread you open wider with his hands. "I can be your going away present."
Bradley leaned closer until his lips were pressed to your ear. "I want you in bed with your crown on as soon as Noah's asleep. Then I'm going to fuck the absolutely shit out of you. And then after that, I'm going to make love to you until you're satisfied. And then we're going to talk about everything that's going to happen while I'm in Japan until we're both comfortable with all of it. And then we're going to start planning our wedding."
"Yes," you agreed. "That's exactly how I want to spend our evening."
----------------------------
Just a few more chapters left. Do you think he made a good decision? Leaving Princess right now? Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
@hotch-meeeeeuppppp
@chassy21
@solacestyles
@daisyhollyxox
@wintercap89
@blog-name6996
@bcon24
@chaoticassidy
@avada-kedavra-bitch-187
@katiebby04
@marantha
@averyhotchner
@abaker74
@heli991113
@k-k0129
@noz4a2
@shanimallina87
@little-wiseone
@ccbb2222
@xoxabs88xox
@thedroneranger
@cherrycola27
@fanboyswhore9
@xomrsalliej4787xo
@desert-fern
@sylviebell
@wkndwlff
@horseslovers2016
@gennyanydots
@mattyskies
@hookslove1592
@blahehblah
@sadpetalsstuff
@local-spidey
@schoollover
@lex-winchester
@magicalmorg
@nicole01-23
@jessicab1991
@happyrebelruins
@samsgoddess
@ughthisisntright
@bellaireland1981
@sagittarius-flowerchild
@mygyn
@yuckosworld
#bradley bradshaw x reader#rooster x you#rooster x reader#rooster imagine#rooster fanfiction#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley rooster bradshaw imagine#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw fanfiction#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw x female reader#bradley bradshaw fic#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#bradley bradshaw x you#top gun imagine#top gun maverick imagine#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick fanfiction#roosterforme#the younger kind
652 notes
·
View notes
Text
promising young man.
yandere!riddle rosehearts x (gender neutral) reader cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, one-sided student/teacher relationship, obsession, dark thoughts, jealousy, delusion, brief descriptions of blood/gore, violence, death, murder, brief nsfw note - riddle's perfect world comes crashing down with the arrival of foreign exchange student azul ashengrotto.
He meets him in Intro to Psych.
Azul Ashengrotto struggles to parse English, but he’s dressed like a businessman with his pressed suit and leather Oxfords. The only thing that reveals his status as a student is the black backpack he carries to class. Riddle’s seen him around campus a handful of times. It’s hard to miss him when he seems to throw himself into social circles with practiced grace.
This is the first time he’s ever had class with him, though, and so now he gets to see him in a classroom setting. There isn’t much about him that immediately strikes Riddle as odd. He’s well-dressed and prompt with a polite tongue. Every time he speaks in his thick accent, the one that just commands admiration and attention, that tiny Italian flag pinned to the strap of his bag becomes even more apparent.
Riddle’s not sure what he’s doing in this class. Perhaps he’s aiming to study law as well. He’d hoped to find more people with similar academic hobbies and interests and, while he’s yet to form any lasting bonds, he’s been wondering what sort of person Azul is.
On the first day of class, he introduced himself with confidence: “Buongiorno, amici. I am Azul. I look forward to the year with all of you.”
Though the structure and pronunciation of English proved awkward in his mouth, that didn’t stop him from opening himself to others. He’s friendly and outgoing, always welcoming conversation when it’s thrown his way. Riddle finds it impressive. If he were in Azul’s shoes, he’s certain he’d feel just a little lost attending school in a new country, far from home, surrounded by people who speak a completely different language. But Azul is resourceful, a dab hand at communication despite the barrier in vernacular. Perhaps that’s where his charm comes from.
Riddle thought the two of them might get along.
But then Azul proved academically formidable, and then you began to pick his brain after class, during time that was specifically reserved for Riddle so that he could discuss psychology with you.
So now Riddle sits in his seat, impatiently awaiting his chance.
“The law over in here is fascinating,” Azul says, leaning closer as you show him something on the desktop computer.
“What’s it like where you’re from?”
“Mm. How to explain… The law is…”
“It follows a civil law tradition,” Riddle pipes up, casually flipping a page in his textbook. He does it for show. He’s aware it probably makes him look like an arrogant know-it-all.
You peek past the screen at him. “Oh! Riddle, you’re still here. Hello!”
He hums, warming under your gaze. “I always am.”
“What was it you were saying about the Italian legal system?”
Azul stares at him. An unhappy frown tightens on his face.
Uplifted with pride, swimming in the clouds, Riddle elaborates: “I’ve only just started researching it, but it’s very interesting. In the realm of criminal law, trials are often led by judges or a select few to form a panel unlike the juries we have here. Of course you’ll find differences everywhere. All countries have justice systems and law enforcement. Still, it’s fascinating to compare and contrast the fine details.”
From across the room, Azul’s stink eye has never been more obvious.
“Ah, that’s right. I’ve heard a few things regarding the way cases are handled over there. From what you know, Azul, would you say the system is harsher here than it is there, or is it the other way around?”
“I wouldn’t know,” Azul says, and that polite mask of his slips for a second. “I’ve never done crime.”
Riddle snaps his book shut and rises from his seat. “Let’s hope not. You’ve a promising career ahead of you.” He smiles sweetly at Azul like he’s particularly stupid.
Azul tracks him as he packs his belongings away and strides towards the door. His brilliant blue eyes are dark. “Ci fai o ci sei?” he mutters, clicking his tongue discreetly. “Rompipalle…”
Riddle will later learn these are slang phrases. He’ll learn a lot of things later—things he thought he’d never need to learn.
Thinking it a joke, you laugh and wave your hand about dismissively. “Aren’t you going to stay, Riddle? I watched the first episode of that podcast you recommended.”
Riddle perks up at that. “You watched it?”
“This past weekend, yes. It’s a riveting series. They really dig deep into the facets of a criminal.”
“Don’t they just?” He hugs his textbook close to his chest, nearly vibrating out of his skin. Finally, the moment he’s been waiting for—an opportunity to speak with you. “I’m amazed at how much time and research goes into each episode, and they always treat each case with tact. It deserves so much praise.”
Azul glances between the two of you. Riddle is sick with satisfaction. Once more, his blue hues land on him.
“You like criminals?”
“Not in that way, of course not.” Riddle shakes his head. What a preposterous assumption. “I find their minds to be exceedingly, bewilderingly captivating.”
Azul blinks back at him, owlish. He doesn’t seem to grasp most of what Riddle’s just said.
“In short, I think they’re a fine learning experience.”
“An experience? Non capisco.”
“For those wishing to pursue a career in criminal justice or law. Think of it like watching a tape from a criminal investigation. It’s important to study the interview techniques and tactics utilized by detectives to understand what’s most successful in gathering a proper confession.”
Azul nods along. “Ah, capisco.”
“We’ll cover things like that later in the semester. Don’t feel so overwhelmed, Azul.”
“I’m not. I learn as I go. Grazie, Professor. You’re very kind.”
“I’m happy to help. If you ever need anything, my office hours are on that sheet I gave you. I had a colleague of mine translate the syllabus for you. If you have any questions or need accommodations of any kind, let me know.”
“I will.” He fixes the strap of his backpack and, after bidding you a final farewell, stalks past Riddle out the door. His footsteps echo down the hall until eventually they’re no more.
“Riddle, if you have a moment, I’d like to speak with you.”
“Of course. Anything,” he says hastily, his heart stumbling in his ribs.
“If you wouldn’t mind, could you help Azul out? I notice he struggles taking notes during lectures. If you’d be willing to share your notes with me so that I can get them translated, that would be great.”
Riddle doesn’t want to share, but this is an opportunity to be praised in spades. “I’d be glad to. I’ll scan and email them after each class.”
“Thanks, Riddle. Your notes have always been so organized. This is a huge help. I’m sure Azul will be just as grateful.”
I’m not doing it for him, he thinks, bitter and envious.
But he just smiles, standing a little taller when you compliment him.
Your notes have always been so organized.
What is he getting so territorial for? He’s had you for four classes in past years. Azul’s only known you for a few measly weeks. That’s nothing compared to the special bond you have with him.
Riddle isn’t worried.
1 September, 20XX.
Dear Diary,
(Name) Rosehearts has quite the lovely ring to it. Far more musical than that of (Name) Ashengrotto. I’m almost certain he sits there in class, silently drooling over Professor. Just last week, he took my seat at the front. The gall to do such a thing! Can you imagine? He must know that seat is the best for getting a perfect view of Professor. It’s childish to bicker over seating arrangements and I refuse to stoop to his level. That said, the seat is mine. Professor’s time is mine.
I’ve deigned to share my notes, but only because Professor put such faith in my abilities by personally asking me. Even though it’s foolish, I’m tempted to sabotage the notes so that Azul will have incorrect study material. But that would be unfair and an infraction upon all that I stand for when it comes to academic fairness. Thus, I’ve refrained from doing anything of that sort. I’m certain Professor would disapprove.
It makes me happy to know Professor listens to the podcast I recommended. I wish we could discuss it at length, but Azul is always there and he takes up so much of what little time there is. It’s infuriating. I wish he would just drop out of the class. That way it will be just Professor and me, as it was intended.
Perhaps he will once the coursework comes knocking.
Sincerely,
Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle slumps forward over his desk and combs his hands through his hair.
“That rotten Azul…” he sneers, his face scrunching into something sour. “He’s always monopolizing your time… Does he not realize how important it is to me—how much I look forward to talking to you? And you smile at him… You look at him with those sweet eyes of yours and he’s completely undeserving of such treatment! It never does anyone any good to be greedy, yet there he is…”
He inhales deeply, holds it for a few seconds, and then exhales.
What am I supposed to do? How can I make this right again?
Azul isn’t breaking any rules. It’s not a crime to seek you out for conversation after each class ends. But therein lies the issue. There is nothing wrong with that. It would be wrong if, say, there was an illicit exchange between the both of you. Like a taboo relationship of sorts…
Riddle startles in his seat, his eyes blown wide.
Azul isn’t having a secret affair with you, is he? Not that it could be considered cheating when you’re not yet married (and Riddle intends to keep it that way). He has a plan. When he graduates, there will be no formal barriers holding him back from starting a relationship with you. He can email you freely without the need to circle back to academics. He can invite you for tea or coffee and the two of you can chat about things that aren’t school, and it won’t be weird or overstepping boundaries. Because he won’t be your student anymore. He’ll be Riddle, your former student. And former students have better odds than current students, do they not?
He’s thought it out carefully. He was raised to be responsible, to do everything right.
And though he’s thought of it in passing—considered what might happen if he were to try to play at being a seductive siren—he’d never truly act on such folly. But Azul… It isn’t too impossible to theorize he might be sleeping with you for a better grade. What if he’s forced you into it? What if he has some sort of wicked blackmail? What if you’re holed up in your office every day, scared for your career, while Azul bends you over the desk and uses that boyish charm of his, that silky-smooth accent, to coax the sweetest of sounds from—
Riddle shakes himself free of that thought. He’s not going to imagine it any further. He doesn’t need to be plagued with graphic imagery, gross as it may be.
Even though he chases the fantasy from his brain, it returns to poke at him. He gazes at his lap, noticing the substantial strain in his pajamas, and groans.
It would be easier if he wasn’t where he is now. Logically, he’s aware he doesn’t have much of a chance. Neither does Azul. Unless he’s sleeping with you in secret. Then he has a chance. But he’s not. He can’t. That’s against the rules.
And even if he was, it wouldn’t be very fair for him to do the very thing Riddle’s abstained from.
His hand closes around his dick. He feels pitiful as he pumps himself to scandalous visions.
It’s not fair.
He should have a chance. In a perfect world, he’d have you. He’s earned this, hasn’t he? He’s worked so hard. So why isn’t he allowed to have you?
It’s not fair.
Why does Azul get to relish in your attention when Riddle’s left alone in the shadows? Why can’t you look at him like you used to? Why can’t you praise him for knowing all the answers? Why can’t you tell him good work when he does just that? Why must you coddle Azul? Riddle thinks he can speak perfect English. He’s just playing it up to look weak and pathetic—to garner your sympathy!
It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not fair.
He’s the good one. The one with perfect marks. The one with perfect attendance. The one every professor holds in high regard.
Riddle squeezes himself and sucks in a breath through grit teeth.
He’s not funny like Azul. He doesn’t have that awkward charm Azul has. He can’t speak another language fluently. He’s never traveled out of the country. He thinks he knows everything, but he only knows so much.
He can fascinate you with the intricacies of his mind, each fold primed for education, but Azul can do better because he has social experience.
Riddle can’t believe it. He, of all people, is jealous of someone.
Cum oozes from his dick and coats his fingers in a pearly-white. It isn’t satisfying.
Right then, he thinks his world would be better if Azul stayed in Italy.
Or maybe it would be better if Azul wasn’t in his world at all.
On his way out of class, Riddle stops Azul in an empty corridor.
“I know what you’re doing,” he says, pointing an accusatory finger at him.
He blinks back, oblivious. And then he smiles, revealing a row of perfect teeth. “What I’m doing?”
Riddle won’t say it. He can’t. Because then he’d be admitting the truth Azul’s trying to pry from his heart, whether that’s his intention or not.
“You know very well what you’re doing.”
A silent head tilt is his reply.
His temper is nearing its boiling point. It’s been on a low simmer ever since Azul first bewitched you, and it’s threatening to spill over.
“I see the way you and Professor look at each other during class. You may think it discreet, but I know.” Riddle folds his arms over his chest, feeling very proud of himself for successfully playing Sherlock. “I can tell there’s nothing formal about it. So how long has this been going on? How long have you been flouting the rules?”
Azul stares at him. His shoulders shake with his chuckle. “You’re funny.”
Riddle startles. His accent—
“I’m here to learn just as you are. What I do outside of the classroom is none of your business, so it would please me greatly if you could stop prying.”
His eyes narrow into vicious slits. “If you lay a hand on—”
“Oh, I’ve done more than that.” Azul smooths the nonexistent wrinkles in his sweater vest. The same brand of sweater vest that Riddle wears. “But you have no proof. The courts here will want that, won’t they? Or is it harsher here? Will you need to peer inside Professor to see for yourself? I wouldn’t know. I’ve never committed a crime.”
Disgust pools in his stomach. He feels like he could vomit, and it isn’t because he’s appalled by the conspiracy Azul’s proposed. It’s because he should’ve been the one to do it if it was that easy. Instead, he musters a mean glare.
“Who are you, Ashengrotto? What do you want?”
“I’m just a student like you. I want to learn lots from Professor.” He brushes past Riddle, his voice a melodious hum. “And some things can’t be taught in the classroom.”
Riddle opens his mouth to let the angry tirade fall, but he chokes on the words. There’s so much he wants to say, but all of it will come out accusatory. And that’s where Azul has him pinned. It’s all baseless accusation.
He doesn’t want to believe it. Surely you wouldn’t… It’s impossible! An academic and social infringement! It’s wrong!
It should’ve been him.
Later that evening, cooped up in his room, Riddle scrawls furious lines in his diary: He’s a liar. A cheat. An embarrassment to this institution. I should be the one who holds Professor. I should be there in Azul’s place. I’ve worked so hard. I deserve it. I’ve earned it!
He can’t let this madness go on any longer. He won’t tolerate it.
Looking at it logically, Riddle has illustrated the negatives and the positives in his notebook.
If Azul’s insinuations are true, then all Riddle needs is valid evidence. Unfortunately, that would mean you might lose your job given the circumstances. If it’s consensual, both of you are equally at fault. If it’s not, Riddle hopes Azul will burn in a terrible blaze.
But if you do happen to lose your job, it would relieve some of the weight burdening his situation. He could start a real relationship with you. It’s plausible! Perhaps not very realistic, but there’s always a shred of hope to be found in misfortune.
Riddle wonders if he should just ask you and save himself the headache.
He gazes sidelong at Azul, who has since claimed that seat for his own, and chances a glance at his open notes.
That’s Riddle’s handwriting.
He’s sure of it. That’s his handwriting. He writes his notes in cursive. He writes in a perfect, elegant slant. His letters always connect. There’s no denying it; that’s his handwriting on the page.
A disturbing thought crosses his mind: Has Azul been practicing my handwriting?
It sounds impossibly silly. Who would devote so much time to something so witlessly fraudulent? Riddle wracks his brain for a reasonable explanation. Why would he need to practice someone else’s handwriting? Riddle could understand if Azul struggled to write in English. Most of his work is submitted in his native language. You allow this exception even though Riddle finds it unfair. Maybe it’s because you treat Azul’s work like it’s something special, and you jump through all of these hoops just to get it translated. Why can’t you treat his work with that same amount of care?
Riddle drags his pen along the page, scribbling mindlessly. Why is he doing that? He has nothing to gain from writing like me.
But then Riddle realizes the notebook is the same as his. The same color, in fact. He wonders when Azul purchased a new one. Did he purchase a new one, or has he always had this one?
Riddle looks down at his notebook.
That’s Azul’s handwriting.
He blinks twice and rubs frantically at his eyes. When he looks back at Azul’s notebook, it’s to a page filled with Azul’s stylish scrawl.
Have I…been copying him this entire time?
No, surely not! He would never plagiarize. That’s one of the biggest sins of academia. He couldn’t live with himself if he did that!
Besides, he’s not the copycat. It’s Azul in his sweater vest, boasting the same writing implements as Riddle, using the same brand of notebook. Riddle’s not copying him. It’s Azul. It must be.
It can’t be Riddle. He’d never do such a thing.
After class, you call Riddle up to your desk. He hesitates, his heart thrumming wildly, and shuffles over.
“Yes, Professor?”
“Riddle, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something.” You withdraw last week’s assignment from a folder and set it down. “You wrote this, did you not?”
Riddle scans the typed document. “I did, yes.”
“May I ask if the Italian was intentional?”
“The Italian?” he parrots, confused. “I don’t understand what—”
In between brilliantly articulated paragraphs, he’s sprinkled in Italian words and phrases.
He coughs out a rattled laugh. “I must have been studying it for another assignment before I did yours. I…can’t believe this happened. It was fully unintentional. I’m very sorry.”
His face is flushed cherry-red. He’s never felt more humiliated.
“It’s not a big deal. I just wanted to ask. It definitely confused me.” You take the paper from him, smiling that understanding smile he loves so much. But then, rather intrusively, he wonders how many times those soft-looking lips have been on Azul, wrapped around him, sending him to cloud nine… “I actually asked Azul to translate it for me. He said all of it was written correctly. You must be very adept in your Italian.”
“I… I suppose I am,” he answers after a tense minute.
His brain is swirling like sediment stirred up on the ocean floor. When did I pick up Italian? I’m not taking any language courses this semester. I don’t even own an Italian dictionary… Just what in the world is happening?
“Ah, you don’t have to look so pale! It’s not going to affect your grade. I only wanted to fulfill this nagging curiosity of mine. Thank you for all the good work you do.”
Riddle nods mechanically. When you ask if he has time to stick around and discuss more psychology podcasts, he shakes his head and mumbles a feeble excuse.
He tears through his desk and all of the drawers in his room in search of it. If it’s not there, he can relax. If it’s not there, he can chalk it up to stress. If it’s not there—
It’s tucked away in his bookshelf. A little pocket dictionary. English to Italian. And it’s been bookmarked and annotated.
Riddle pulls it from the shelf in a baffled daze. When did he get his hands on this? More importantly, when did he read through it? In a hurry, he empties the contents of his backpack and flips a few pages in his notebook.
His notes from class. Dated for today. Written in Azul’s script. And at the top of the page, an exact copy of his signature, a name that isn’t Riddle’s: Azul Ashengrotto.
Riddle peers at his trembling hands. He flexes his fingers, curls them into a fist and then unfurls them.
He seizes his psychology textbook next and skims the chapter index in search of an answer. He lands on it. Page 371. Dissociation.
Two minutes into a phone call with Trey, he’s asked a simple question: “Are you speaking with an accent?”
Riddle bristles. “Of course I’m not. Of…course I am not,” he says, sounding the words out. His brow furrows. Why does my tongue feel so clumsy in my mouth? “I’ve always spoken this way, have I not?”
“I can’t say. I mean, come on, Riddle. You’ve gotta be pulling my leg.”
“You know very well I don’t pull legs, Trey.”
“You told me buongiorno when I picked up.”
“I did not!” he snaps, scandalized. “I said good morning as I always do.” And then he pauses. “I… I did say good morning, didn’t I?”
Trey’s silence is answer enough.
Riddle sucks in a sharp breath. Neither of them says anything.
Eventually, Trey speaks. “Do you want me to come up there? I could bring you a tart or…something. You sound…tired.” He chooses his words carefully. “Silly question, I know, but I’ve gotta ask. You’re not overworking yourself?”
“No, not at all.”
“And you’re getting enough sleep? What about food?”
Riddle frowns even though Trey isn’t there to see it. “I’m fine, Trey. Midterms are coming up. I’ve got to focus. I refuse to fail.”
Again, the other end is quiet. A minute later, Trey says, “Do you have time this weekend?”
“This weekend?” Riddle flips his planner open to this week. “I do.”
“All right. Is it cool if I visit?”
Riddle almost declines, so it surprises both him and Trey when he replies with, “Please.”
“I’ll be there,” he promises, and the call ends before Riddle can say grazie.
Trey brings six strawberry tarts. Riddle shares three with him over tea at the campus café.
“So what’s up?” Trey points his fork at Riddle. “You sound like yourself, but you don’t seem…fine.”
Riddle chews thoughtfully. He can’t confide in Trey because Trey wouldn’t understand. Because he’d apply Trey Logic to everything, and Trey Logic is almost always sensible. Riddle doesn’t want to hear it.
“I submitted an assignment in Italian,” he says instead, casually, as if it’s not a big deal.
Trey looks at him like he’s grown a third eye. “Since when do you know Italian?”
“I dabble.”
Trey laughs. Upon seeing Riddle’s serious expression, the humor sticks in his throat. “Oh, you meant that. Well. That’s…good then? If it’s for a foreign language course—”
“It was for psychology.”
“You…wrote in Italian…for a psychology assignment?” he reiterates, attempting to parse it. He drags his fork through his cut of tart, but he doesn’t bring it to his lips. “Why?”
“I couldn’t say. It perplexed me to no end when I realized it. My professor thought it was curious.”
“It is. I mean, you don’t find that just a little…unusual?”
Riddle stares at him over the rim of his teacup.
Trey tries again. “Was the Italian correct, at least? It wasn’t all nonsense?”
He nods. “It was as if I was translating and switching between words. Like using the Italian word in place of an English word.”
“Huh…”
“It’s not very impressive. I can do much better than that.”
“I’m not doubting your capabilities. I’m just…trying to understand why.”
Riddle smiles. “Why not? I think it’s very good to study another language. It opens more doors for opportunity, and it’s a challenge that proves rewarding in the end.”
“Is that it?”
“Precisely.”
The conversation comes to an abrupt halt there. Trey changes the subject. They chat the afternoon away.
Later, Riddle returns to his diary.
He writes an entire entry in perfect Italian. Workbooks pile up on his desk; he’s not sure when they got there. He’s filling them out so fast his hand gains new calluses.
Azul visits your office around the same time Riddle used to. Now it’s Riddle who trails after him, hoping to catch him in the middle of a nefarious scheme. He’s not sure he’s ready for whatever he might learn, but he swallows his rage and carries on.
Azul turns just as Riddle ducks around the corner, perfectly out of sight. He waits until he hears the tell-tale click of those pristine Oxfords against linoleum before continuing. Azul walks right past your office and then he’s gone. Looking both ways, Riddle creeps further down the hall.
Where is he?
There’s a tap on his shoulder. He whirls around, startled, and is about to unleash verbal tyranny when he stops short. You stand there, looking positively puzzled.
“Are you looking for something, Riddle?”
“No… I—” He cuts himself off. “Actually, I was hoping I might discuss something with you. The final project.”
“Oh, of course! Did you come earlier? I stepped out of my office for a second. Sorry if my absence had you looking all over.”
Riddle falls into step with you. “It’s quite all right.”
He’s not sure what he hopes to find by sitting in front of your desk, gazing at the familiar interior of your office. He manages to get through all of the questions you ask him regarding the final project.
“I have too many ideas,” he lies, “and I’d like assistance in narrowing the topics down to one.”
He glances slyly at the floor. Would Azul be bold enough to hide a voice recorder or a camera somewhere? Or is there something of Azul’s left in here? A cheeky means of marking his territory, maybe?
Riddle turns up empty.
He stalls the conversation expertly for ten more minutes. During that time, he can’t locate anything from his semi-thorough observations.
Maybe it’s hidden in your desk. Maybe there’s nothing at all.
No. No, there has to be something.
He thanks you for your help and, shouldering his backpack, leaves.
Just as he turns down the hall, Azul steps into his path.
“Your mind is exceedingly, bewilderingly captivating.” He snickers like a devil. Riddle wants to punch him. “So many ideas. Where do you have the space for all of that?”
“It’s not polite to eavesdrop.”
“Oh, is that so?” Azul taps at his phone and then turns the screen towards Riddle. There’s a picture of him in the hall, looking awfully disoriented. “It’s not very polite to stalk now, is it, amico?”
Riddle narrows his eyes. “How easily that accent comes. Almost like flipping a switch.”
“Non capisco.”
“You should know you’re going to ruin your life and Professor’s.”
“I’m not.” He smiles cryptically. “You’re going to ruin it for me.”
Fed up with his attempt at mind chess, Riddle stalks past him in a huff.
You walk into class five minutes late, disheveled and breathless. You’re babbling about a meeting that ran late, but Riddle can’t trust that.
Meetings don’t end in frazzled hair and crooked ties.
What’s even more damning, perhaps, is when Azul Never-Late-to-Class Ashengrotto walks in fifteen minutes after you. He sits in the seat beside Riddle. There’s not a hair out of place on his person. Except there is. The glass face of his luxury wristwatch is smudged with a fingerprint.
Riddle wonders what forensics would have to say about that.
He phases in and out of focus during the lecture. He can’t stop searching you for fine details. He can’t stop questioning Azul’s presence beside him.
How dare you? he thinks. How dare you defile my professor? What makes you think you have the right to do such a thing when I’ve been working hard all this time? When I’ve been nothing but perfect…
He glances at his notebook. A single phrase has been scrawled over and over, so manically that the lines loop and overlap in angry criss-crosses. Lo voglio morto.
At the end of class, Riddle catches Azul in the hall.
“I would like to review with you for our upcoming midterm.”
“What an honor.”
Riddle hums. “Let’s compare our notes tonight. You can stop by my room after dinner.”
Azul grins like he can read through Riddle. Like he’s in on a joke Riddle’s not privy to.
“I would be happy to study alongside you,” he says, his accent thick.
Riddle imagines a rope around his neck. A rope of thorns and barbed wire, pressing into his jugular until, inevitably, it severs his head clean off.
Azul arrives on time. He really does feel like an echo of Riddle. Same school supplies. Same notebooks. Same fashion style. Same manner of writing.
Riddle shuts and locks the door behind him. He doesn’t waste time waltzing around the subject.
“You’re the reason Professor was late today.”
“You’re mistaken. I simply lost track of the time.”
“That’s not true.”
“Then what is? I had nothing to do with Professor’s tardiness. If it bothers you so much, why not tell Professor to be more conscious of the time?”
Riddle grits his teeth. He’s sick of this. Sick of these mind games. Sick of all this mental chess.
Sick of the fact that he gets to have you when you should have been Riddle’s from the start!
“You’re a liar! Do you know the gravity of your actions—the severe consequences that’ll undoubtedly befall Professor? Do you know you’re jeopardizing a brilliant mind all for your own immature fun?”
Azul holds his hands up in mock surrender. “Those are harsh accusations. They could ruin my life, you know.”
“Oh, like that’s such an issue.” Riddle scowls.
“Your room is quite nice, I must say.” Azul looks around, his hands in his pockets. He spies the many Italian workbooks lining Riddle’s shelf, and a slimy smirk pulls at his lips. “Imitatore,” he marvels, his eyes bright with an eerie sort of joy. As if he’s just discovered a particularly filthy secret and can’t wait to tell someone.
“If it isn’t the pot calling the kettle black.”
“And what makes you think Professor would ever entertain you?” Azul rounds on him, still smiling. “Professor loves me most. There was never any room for you.”
Riddle hears the distant crackle of something fraying. “You’re wrong.”
“Am I? All I did was take your best characteristics and make them even better. Italian lovers are a romanticized ideal abroad. You were never an option, let alone a consideration.”
How dare you. How dare you. How dare you!
Azul steps towards the door. “Addio. Le mie condoglianze.”
That something inside Riddle finally snaps, and with it goes his restraint. He grabs Azul’s wrist and yanks him to the floor. There’s a struggle for survival. During the scuffle, Azul claws at Riddle’s arm and face. Riddle kicks him down. And then his fingers wrap around his psychology textbook—all 800-something pages, a hardcover—and he brings it down, brutal like a guillotine.
“How dare you walk away in the middle of a conversation!” he berates, lips curled in a monstrous sneer. “How dare you touch what isn’t yours—what you didn’t earn!”
He thinks he sees a real smile on Azul’s face, but in the midst of blind rage he can’t tell.
He sees red. He feels red. It splatters his room in a mess of broken bone and pulpy gore. It flecks his face, warm and thick and soupy.
It all ends with Intro to Psych.
Riddle is bathed in blue light, afloat on a chaotic sea.
Distantly, in the back of his mind, he can hear his mother in hysterics: What have you done?! Do you have any idea what you’ve just done—the future you’ve so carelessly thrown away?! All of my hard work?! Do you realize what you’ve done?!
And he does.
If there’s anything Riddle has ever been one-hundred-percent certain of in his life, it’s this. He sits on the steps to his dormitory, battered and bloodied, and bites into the strawberry tart clutched between crimson-stained fingers.
Despite the crisp autumn air, he feels warm.
An officer approaches him just as he’s licking his fingers clean of strawberry and blood.
He holds his arms out before the woman can say anything. He already knows what comes next.
Riddle has always wondered what criminals think and feel in the aftermath of grisly crimes. He can’t feel much of anything other than hollow relief. Maybe that’s just the adrenaline snuffing logical thought and remorse. He thinks everything and nothing all at once. He’s sure he’ll feel it all come crashing down when he’s sat in the station for questioning and then the reality of his actions will seep in, awakening him from a vile, murderous dream.
Right now, he isn’t concerned with that.
You lived filthy and you died just the same, Riddle thinks as he’s led to a police car. And now there’s no part of you Professor will ever want.
#happy very belated birthday rido <3#yandere twst#yandere twst x reader#yandere twisted wonderland x reader#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere riddle rosehearts#yandere riddle rosehearts x reader#yandere riddle x reader#yandere riddle#tw: student teacher relationship#tw: death#tw: murder#tw: blood#tw: violence
323 notes
·
View notes
Text
Since my big Languages and Linguistics MEGA folder post is approaching 200k notes (wow) I am celebrating with some highlights from my collection:
Africa: over 90 languages so far. The Swahili and Amharic resources are pretty decent so far and I'm constantly on the lookout for more languages and more resources.
The Americas: over 100 languages of North America and over 80 languages of Central and South America and the Caribbean. Check out the different varieties for Quechua and my Navajo followers are invited to check out the selection of Navajo books, some of which are apparently rare to come by in print.
Ancient and Medieval Languages: "only" 18 languages so far but I'm pretty pleased with the selection of Latin and Old/Middle English books.
Asia: over 130 languages and I want to highlight the diversity of 16 Arabic dialects covered.
Australia: over 40 languages so far.
Constructed Languages: over a dozen languages, including Hamlet in the original Klingon.
Creoles: two dozen languages and some materials on creole linguistics.
Europe: over 60 languages. I want to highlight the generous donations I have received, including but not limited to Aragonese, Catalan, Occitan and 6 Sámi languages. I also want to highlight the Spanish literature section and a growing collection of World Englishes.
Eurasia: over 25 languages that were classified as Eurasian to avoid discussions whether they belong in Europe or Asia. If you can't find a language in either folder it might be there.
History, Culture, Science etc: Everything not language related but interesting, including a collection of "very short introductions", a growing collection of queer and gender studies books, a lot on horror and monsters, a varied history section (with a hidden compartment of the Aubreyad books ssshhhh), and small collections from everything like ethnobotany to travel guides.
Jewish Languages: 8 languages, a pretty extensive selection of Yiddish textbooks, grammars, dictionaries and literature, as well as several books on Jewish religion, culture and history.
Linguistics: 15 folders and a little bit of everything, including pop linguistics for people who want to get started. You can also find a lot of the books I used during my linguistics degree in several folders, especially the sociolinguistics one.
Literature: I have a collection of classic and modern classic literature, poetry and short stories, with a focus on the over 140 poetry collections from around the world so far.
Polynesia, Micronesia, Melanesia: over 40 languages and I want to highlight the collection for Māori, Cook Islands Māori and Moriori.
Programming Languages: Not often included in these lists but I got some for you (roughly 5)
Sign Languages: over 30 languages and books on sign language histories and Deaf cultures. I want to highlight especially the book on Martha's Vineyard Sign Language and the biography of Laura Redden Searing.
Translation Studies: Everything a translation student needs with a growing audiovisual translation collection
And the best news: the folders are still being updated regularly!
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
AUGUST 5, 2024
TOKENISM
Tokenism is the practice of selecting a person from a minority group to give the illusion of diversity or of representation of the minority group’s opinion. Tokenism is racism — or in this case, antisemitism — because it weaponizes the identity of the marginalized person to justify things that hurt that very same marginalized group.
In other words, when you tokenize someone, you’re using them in a way that ultimately will hurt them or the group they are affiliated with.
BECAUSE I KNOW I WILL BE ASKED…
I often highlight the voices of Palestinian dissidents, anti-Hamas Palestinians, and of Palestinians seeking to make peace with Israel. People tend to ask me a very good question: how is this any different than “tokenizing” fringe Jews?
Firstly, I want to make it clear that when I highlight the voices of “fringe” Palestinians, I am in no way claiming that they are necessarily representative of the majority. The overwhelming majority of past and recent surveys and statistics I’ve seen unfortunately suggest otherwise.
Secondly, there is a major, major difference between tokenizing the voices of Jews who minimize antisemitism, both in the Diaspora and in Israel, and uplifting the voices of Palestinians who seek to make peace. Tokenizing Jews who dismiss left-wing or Islamist antisemitism or who believe Israeli Jews are fair targets endanger the rest of us. That’s a far cry from Palestinians who wish to live side by side in peace.
Most importantly, the overwhelming majority of Jews worldwide have all the freedom of speech in the world. They are not risking their lives by sharing their views. Palestinian dissidents in the West Bank and especially in the Gaza Strip are quite literally putting their necks on the line to speak out against their tyrannical leaders. To not understand the difference between this and a Jew living comfortably in Brooklyn is a sign of privilege, of not understanding authoritarian societies. When dissidents speak, whether in Iran or the Palestinian Territories, I believe it’s the duty of the people in the free world to uplift their voices.
SELF-TOKENISM: ASSOCIATION OF GERMAN NATIONAL JEWS
In the earliest days of Hitler’s rule, there was a small group of Jews that supported Hitler. In 1921, a Jewish man named Max Naumann founded a group known as the “Association of German National Jews.”
Following Hitler’s rise to power, the Nazi regime itself never tokenized the Association of German National Jews, but the members of the organization tokenized themselves, particularly when speaking to the press. In 1933, a member of the group, Hans Priwin, issued a statement alleging that reports of the Nazis’ mistreatment of Jews were “stupid lies.” In 1934, the Association issued a statement of support for Hitler.
The Association of German National Jews was especially hostile to the less assimilated Jews from Eastern Europe, who they considered backwards and “racially and spiritually inferior.” They were also hostile to Zionists, as they believed that they were a threat to Jewish integration into wider society. The main goal of the Association of German National Jews was the self-eradication of Jewish identity. To accomplish this sinister motive, they weaponized — and tokenized — their own Jewish identities.
After Hitler’s appointment as German Chancellor in 1933, Jews worldwide protested, boycotting German goods. Instead of supporting the protest, the Association came out against the boycott and issued a manifesto that the Jews in Germany were being “fairly treated.”
In 1935, the Nazis declared the Association of German National Jews illegal and dissolved it. Naumann was arrested by the Gestapo the same day.
TOKENISM: HELENE MAYER
German Jewish fencer Helene Mayer is considered one of the best fencers of all time, having won gold at the 1928 Amsterdam Olympics and placing fifth at the 1932 Los Angeles Games. After Los Angeles, Meyer stayed in California to earn a law degree. In 1933, Adolf Hitler rose to power in Germany, stripping Mayer, who was then banned from her old fencing club, of her rights.
Leading up to the 1936 Berlin Olympics, the United States Olympic Committee was under tremendous pressure to boycott the Games. The head of the US Olympic Committee, Avery Brundage, was a Nazi sympathizer, who convinced Germany to allow one German Jewish athlete to compete to give the impression that Jews in Germany were being treated fairly. In other words, the Nazis needed a token Jew.
Enter: Helene Mayer. Mayer had been living in the United States since her expulsion from her fencing club. Desperate to reclaim her old Olympic glory, Mayer tried out and was selected for the German team. She placed second and gave the Hitler salute on the podium.
After the Olympics, where the Nazi press and government ignored her, Mayer returned to the United States, thus saving herself from the Holocaust. She moved back to Germany in 1952 and died a year later. She never publicly addressed her decision to participate as an athlete under the Nazis, a decision which temporarily sanitized Nazi Germany’s image.
TOKENISM: YEVSEKTSIYA
In 1918, the Soviet Communist Party established a “Jewish branch,” with the consent of Vladimir Lenin. It was named “Yevsektsiya,” meaning “Jewish Sections of the Communist Party.” The mission of the Yevsektsiya was, quite literally, the “destruction of traditional Jewish life, the Zionist movement, and Hebrew culture.”
From the outset, the Yevsektsiya began harassing Zionist Jews. Initially, the Yevsektsiya legally abolished the “kehillas,” the traditional Jewish community organizations. Sometimes, they even burned their offices down. They shut down everything from Jewish political groups to theaters to sports clubs. They raided all Ukrainian “Zionist” offices and arrested every single one of their leaders.
Until their dissolution in 1929, they imprisoned, tortured, and murdered thousands of Jews. The fact that the Yevsektsiya was “Jewish” was central to its purpose. After all, the Soviet regime couldn’t be accused of antisemitism when those shutting down all Jewish cultural and spiritual life were Jews themselves. In other words, the Soviets tokenized the Jewish identities of the Yevsektsiya members to legitimize their systematic persecution of Jews.
According to historian of Soviet history Richard Pipes, “In time, every Jewish cultural and social organization came under assault.”
The Soviet government dissolved the Yevsetskiya in 1929, claiming that it was no longer needed. During Stalin’s Great Purge in the 1930s, virtually all its members were arrested and executed. Some were shot by bullet, some were tortured, and others were sentenced to hard labor in Siberia. A former member even died when the prison he was in refused to supply him with insulin.
TODAY
NETUREI KARTA
Antisemites today continue to uplift fringe Jewish groups to deflect from accusations of antisemitism. The Neturei Karta, for example, are a staple at pro-Palestine protests, despite the fact that they share just about zero values with the progressive left, given their sexism and homophobia, among other things. Their membership does not surpass 5000 people, and they are considered so fringe that even other anti-Zionist Orthodox groups, such as the Satmar, have disavowed them, issuing a cherem (censure, similar to excommunication) against them. The Neturei Karta have friendly relations with the Islamic Republic in Iran and even attended a conference in Holocaust denial in Tehran.
JEWISH VOICE FOR PEACE, IFNOTNOW
Surveys consistently show that between 80-95 percent of Jews support the existence of the State of Israel. Yet politicians and activists often uplift anti-Zionist Jewish groups such as Jewish Voice for Peace and IfNotNow as though they are representative of “true” Judaism. These groups have a long history of regurgitating the propaganda and glorifying, excusing, or justifying the actions of terrorists and terrorist groups responsible for heinous attacks against Jews around the world, including October 7.
HOW NOT TO TOKENIZE JEWS
#1 Before you amplify a Jewish person, pause to think: is there anything in it for you? Are you amplifying us because you care about what we have to say or because our words validate your pre-existing opinions?
#2 Some discussions are intracommunity discussions. You don’t need to speak for us, over us, or weaponize intracommunity discussions to demonize the Jews you dislike.
#3 You cannot adequately support Jewish people if you are not open to hearing about our experiences, even when they don’t align with yours.
#4 Listen to many Jewish voices, and not just voices that you always agree with. It’s also important to listen to Jews of diverse backgrounds, races, sub-ethnic groups, social classes, genders, sexual orientations, and more.
This also means that if you disagree with a person about a topic unrelated to Jewishness or Judaism, you should still be willing to listen when they talk about their Jewish experience. People — Jews included — are multifaceted individuals. You might not always agree with us, but you should understand that no one can speak to the Jewish experience better than we can.
#5 No Jew — not a single one — deserves antisemitism. Antisemitism is not a valid punishment for bad behavior; it’s an ancient, senseless form of hatred that has gotten innocent people murdered for thousands of years. All Jews deserve protection from antisemitism, no matter how good or bad their views and/or behavior. Additionally, antisemitism targeting Jews you dislike always spills over and hurts other Jews. If you do not pursue safety for every single Jew, you are not an ally.
#6 To adequately represent the views of the Jewish community, share the views that are representative of the majority of the Jewish community, not fringe opinions. Don’t uplift a minority voice to pretend that that’s how all of us feel.
#7 Understand that Jews can very much perpetuate antisemitism. Agreeing with a Jewish person doesn’t mean you are not antisemitic.
rootsmetals
Olympics x As a Jew crossover
Sources
271 notes
·
View notes
Text
RECIPROCATION // e. berkshire
RATING: R / 3.7K WORDS
Enzo Berkshire x Reader Insert (No gender-specific details)
+ SUMMARY - *Requested (based on this)* Enzo Berkshire has a tendency to flirt with you. You reciprocate the flirtation, thinking that he genuinely may like you, but that hope is screwed up when he seems to be flirting with another person.
+ WARNINGS - Language, kissing, nothing else really, not fully proof-read (Fluff, Romance)
+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -
As Long As You Love Me - Sleeping At Last
(Note: I am very sorry for the sudden delay in all of my writing. To be quite honest, I started a new job and got into a car crash this week and haven't been writing at all. Please accept this request, and I will have pt. 5 of By the Fireplace out ASAP)
---
“Hey, darling, wait up!”
The voice came from behind you. You pivoted on your heels, stopping right in your tracks on your way to Defense Against Dark Arts, and glanced around. Your eyes circled the hallway until they landed on a waving hand attached to a grinning body. A smile spread over your lips as you recognized the voice's owner. Lorenzo Berkshire. Handsome, funny, old-money rich, with a side of infamy due to his frightening family.
He stopped before you, panting slightly from the jog up to you. His face was a bit flushed, and his lips were parted with a bit of shine spread over them. He looked absolutely breathtaking. You nearly had to steady yourself as he combed his fingers through his hair.
“Well, hello, Berkshire. Are you on your way to class as well?” You turned back the way you were initially heading and started off, beckoning for him to follow. He gave a slight nod, never dropping his glorious smile.
“Yeah, I spotted you on my way out of the courtyard and figured I’d walk with you,” he said, “it’d give me a chance to see my favorite person.” Your stomach flushed. Favorite person? You could have fainted.
“Well, I’m glad you wanted to walk with me,” you smiled, clutching your books tightly against your chest.
Enzo had always been an enormous flirt—specifically toward you. You’d be lying if you said you minded it; after all, the boy was absolutely gorgeous and practically everything you could ever want out of a romantic partner. He oozed radiance and dripped sex. Damn it. Your eyes watched as he jogged ahead of you to grab the door to the classroom, the muscles along his forearm rippling wonderfully. Merlin’s sake, he looked like he belonged on the cover of a Muggle romance novel.
You flashed him your best smile and slipped through the door, watching as he followed quickly behind you.
The two of you had been friends for a very long time—almost since first year, to be exact. Halfway through second year, the two of you had been paired together for a project in Potions class, and not only had you succeeded in working together flawlessly, but you’d also grown really close. He had always been a good friend to you, no matter what you needed. He was, quite honestly, more than you deserved. But, on the darker side of things, as he grew older, he grew quite flirty. At every turn, he was tracing you with his eyes or making a quick quip about your eyes or your clothing. It was more than you could handle on some days. Your platonic feelings toward him had very quickly become romantic feelings.
You selected your usual seat in the classroom and kicked the chair beside you out so Enzo could take his place next to you. You mentally prepared yourself for a whole period of brushing elbows, skimming shoes, and knowingly glancing at each other. Why wouldn’t he just admit he liked you already? There was apparent tension between the two of you—even other people had caught on. So why couldn’t he just admit it? Granted, you could say the same for yourself.
Once the Professor had settled everybody in and started with the lecture, you saw Enzo begin to rummage through his bag slowly, trying not to disturb anyone. One hand held the fabric pocket open while the other selected his class journal and his ink kit. You’d already had your things set out by now, but you figured he was just a little behind, per usual. Not that it was a bad thing. It was sort of endearing.
Through glances out of the corner of your eye, you saw him flip his journal open, collect a generous amount of ink on the tip of his quill, and begin to write. The soft scratches of the quill’s tip tickled the edges of your ear, sending a line of chills down your arm. There was only a tiny amount of information written on the board so far, so he should have no trouble keeping up.
After a few minutes of continuous scratching, Enzo’s elbow gently bumped yours. Discreetly, you looked over at him and scrunched your eyebrows in silent question. He gestured with his head to the small folded paper beside me. How odd, you hadn’t even heard him tear it out. You quietly placed your quill into its ink well and slipped the note between your stomach and the desk to conceal the message from the professor.
Have I mentioned that you are looking absolutely ravishing today? Your jaw nearly dropped. With wide eyes, you looked over at him. A smug smirk was printed on his face as he sent an addicting wink your way. You tried your hardest not to blush, but, of course, you’d failed. Must he always be this…severe? You flipped the note over to the other side and wrote: I think this letter was meant for someone else. Unless you have something to tell me? You passed it back. He wrote quickly.
Of course not, darling. Just that you are the most beautiful person in this room. In attempted controlled laughter, the two of you shouldered the other. You knew he was joking, but still, you quietly slipped the paper into your bag. Something about those words in his handwriting directed to you had you blushing. You both returned to your note-taking for the class.
A few moments of comfortable silence passed before you noticed Enzo’s shoulder shaking with silent laughter. You looked over briefly, seeing a note in his hands. You thought it may have been the same one the two of you had been communicating on before you remembered that you had put that one in your bag. A closer glance revealed that Enzo’s handwriting was on the paper, as was someone else’s. You didn’t recognize the penmanship. You leaned a bit closer, careful not to disturb him as he read the note.
Have you considered who you will invite to the winter formal? A question to Enzo. Then, his response. I’ve thought long and well about it, darling. Your heart clenched. You flicked your eyes around the room, trying to guess who had sent the note, and landed on some girl from Hufflepuff giggling to her friend and occasionally casting glances at a smirking Enzo. Her eyes caught yours, and you quickly dropped the contact, returning to your notes. Was Enzo taking one of them to the formal? Because you’d honestly thought…never mind.
Your fingers subconsciously tightened around your quill; so tight, in fact, that your knuckles bled white and the end of its feather creased.
“Woah,” Enzo laughed, “what did that quill ever do to you?” His voice snapped you out of your internal rage. Tendrils of guilt and jealousy spiraled around your throat.
“Nothing, just tired,” you lied, releasing your death grip on the quill and returning to your work. You ignored him for the rest of class, completely missing the nervous glances he threw you every so often.
By the end of the lecture, you’d packed your things as quickly as possible and headed out the door, not bothering to wait for Enzo to catch up. Perhaps it was childish, but you really thought he might have had feelings for you. But it seemed that the natural flirtation may just be part of his personality.
You blew a sigh through your lips and pushed a hand through your hair. Surely, there was an explanation as to why he seemed to prefer you to other students. He never followed those Hufflepuff girls around like he did you. Or did he? Maybe you just hadn’t seen him doing it. You suppressed the urge to let out a groan. Why couldn’t romance and crushes and love be simple?
You headed toward the Great Hall to stock up on a bit of lunch; there was no way in hell you were eating in there today. With your luck, you’d crash right into Enzo and have him demand why you stormed out of class. Not that he’d demand anything. He was always so gentle with you…no, shut up. You weren’t going to think about him anymore today. You need to forget about it and focus on studying for your test in Potions today.
You were kind of absolutely terrible at the class and needed all the help you could get. More than once, you’d been tempted to write the answers on your hand and briefly turn them invisible with a simple spell, but you weren’t that low. You weren’t going to cheat. Enzo was good at Potions class. He could help—
“Ugh!” You pushed the boy out of your head as you turned into the Great Hall, conjuring a small cloth napkin. It fell into your hand delicately and displayed itself evenly as you began to pack a few things onto it—a bit of cheese, some grapes, a muffin. You smiled to yourself as your stomach rumbled. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until just now. All of this worrying about He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Jr. (not the noseless one) had your stomach clawing for some sustenance.
You scooped all of the food together and tied a small knot into the napkin, slipping it into your cloak pocket. One of the goblets you’d gotten from your birthday last year appeared before you, and you poured some pumpkin juice into it. You wouldn’t take one of their goblets because you knew you’d forget to return it. Wandlessly, you sent it back to your dormitory.
You turned and headed toward the grand doors, eyes toward the ground. You whisked across the stone floors, focusing on one thing only: getting back to your dorm without bumping into any…unmentionables.
A few familiar voices swirled around you as they passed by. You tucked your head even more, realizing it was a few of Enzo’s friends. You were friendly with them and knew they’d say something and draw attention to you if they recognized you. You prayed they wouldn’t notice.
And just as you had ducked your head once more and pulled the edges of your cloak over your face, you ran straight into a solid wall of Slytherin boy. You grunted from the impact and braced for the fall on your ass when he caught you quickly and steadied you. You didn’t need to look up to know who it is. You’d know his scent anywhere.
Swallowing your pride, you glanced up and made quick eye contact with Enzo. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern, and his eyes flickered over your face. You figured he was searching for some answer to your behavior earlier. You sighed and shook your head slightly, dropping the eye contact. The fingers from his left hand tightened around your arm, and his right hand tilted your head to return his gaze to yours. Embarrassed, you jerked your head out of his grasp and pushed past him.
Your legs moved faster than they had in a long while as you practically ran up to your dorm, trying to restrain the tears pooling in your eyes. That was quite literally the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened to you. Whether it was your imagination or not, you’d thought that the people around the two of you had completely silenced themselves and had been watching you. Your cheeks burned in shame. Curse this stupid crush.
Once you come upon the entrance to the Slytherin common room, you quickly speak the password and swipe a few falling tears from your cheeks. You prayed that no one was seated in the common room lest you fully die of mortification. Surely, Enzo had just been doing that because of his usual flirtatious behavior. Nothing else explains why he would have touched you like that. So gently and easily as he reconnected your eyes. The way he had looked at you as he held you tightly to keep you from falling. His lips had parted with a small exhale that had danced across your cheeks, cool and smelling of sweet mint. His thumb had brushed the surface of your chin, daring you to place your lips on it. Fuck!
You pushed through your dormitory door and pressed your hands to your face. You collapsed onto your bed, a small sob leaving your body. Fuck, you were so ashamed. Everything about Enzo swirled around your brain just as it did every day. Every detail of his face was sharp and gorgeous as if carved by Merlin himself. The curve of his lips, the tilt of his cheekbones, the way his hands seemed to always lay upon you somehow. Whether it was tilting your chin up to force your eyes back to his or pressing a hand along the small of your back to lead you forward, it didn’t matter what he was doing. All of it made the rate of your breath increase substantially. Every piece of him made up the strokes of your dreams. You were absolutely in l—
Your name cut your thoughts off. Enzo slammed through the dormitory door, eyes frantic and wild, darting around the room. When they fell upon you as you lay curled up, pitiful and sobbing, in your bed, he pushed the door shut and sped over to you. He squatted down beside the bed until his eyes were level with yours. You refused to look at him. His eyes never left you. As always, he never backed down, while you did so easily. He was so much better than you.
His hand slowly raised above your head that was pressed into the mattress. Your eyes watched him as he moved, and as he reached the edge of your skull, he let it hover there. You glanced up at him in question, and his eyebrows raised. You nodded. His hand gently laid against the side of your head, slowly rolling his thumb from the tip of your eyebrow to your hairline. It was soothing, and his hands were soft and warm. You felt safe beneath his large grip.
“What happened?” he whispered, eyes searching yours. “Was it something I did or said? If it was something that I caused, we can talk about it. I promise I’ll fix—”
“It’s not you, En,” you interrupted, your voice crackling beneath the weight of your pathetic tears. You were mortified. “It’s me, I guess I just…I just thought…” The words refused to leave your mouth. Your eyes closed in frustration.
“You thought what? Tell me,” he whispered, scooting his face closer to yours, his thumb never stopping its calming motion.
“It’s stupid,” you whined.
“No, it’s not,” he replied, “it’s making you upset. I want to fix it…did someone do something to you?” You shook your head. The culprit of your current emotional status was none other than yourself.
“I wanted you to ask me to the formal,” you winced in embarrassment, “and I got upset that you’re asking that girl in Defense instead…” His eyes widened for a moment, and he said nothing. My God, this was the worst day of your life. Your eyes welled up with tears at the possibility of verbal rejection. “God, I know I sound like a toddler, whining like this, but I really like you, En.”
“You don’t sound like a toddler,” he said. His face moved even closer to yours. You could feel his breath on your face now and count each individual eyelash. His eyelids were half-closed now, an air of intimacy spinning between the two of you. “I like you too…a lot.”
The pitch of his voice pushed a shiver through you. The feeling of acceptance brushed through you quickly, elating your heartbeat. Enzo liked you back? Fuck, Enzo liked you back. Your eyes refused to leave his, now. Your heart pounded in your ears, echoing against the back of your skull.
“I…” you breathed, your voice trailing off. Could you even get the words out? Your breath shuddered as his hands slid down the top of your head to pinch your chin again. He held you in place, his fingers so warm against your skin. His thumb brushed slowly over your top lip.
“Can I kiss you?” he breathed. Each exhale from his lips painted the edges of your jawline, teasing longing out of you. Enzo wanted to kiss you. You wanted to kiss him so badly. You slowly nodded your head.
Then his fingers weren’t so easy as he pulled himself roughly to your face. His lips crashed against yours, clacking your teeth together. You gasped into his mouth as he stood and slipped onto the bed over you, never once separating your lips. Your heart felt as though it was going to explode. You weren’t sure if you could handle this feeling.
Your fingers tightened in his smooth hair, reveling in the feeling of the delicate strands. He sighed against your lips as the motion tugged at his scalp. Every feeling, every touch, every brush of his lips was almost too much for you to accept. Your chest rose heavily at the feeling, your heart thrashing against your rib cage. You were sure if he kept on, with him caressing every inch of the inside of your mouth, you’d faint.
You jerked away from him, pushing yourself out from under him and against your headboard.
“I’m sorry. Was that too far?” he immediately spoke. His hair was tousled, his cheeks were flushed, and his lips were swollen. He looked absolutely ethereal. The air entered and left his chest at a rapid pace. His fingers nervously closed around your blanket.
“No!” you practically screamed. “It wasn’t too far…I thought my chest was going to burst.” You chuckled breathlessly, pressing a shaking hand against your heart. You had dreamed of that feeling for months, and getting to experience it so suddenly had you reeling. Enzo was flawless, and every aspect of his perfect being was pushing your shattered self back together. He was more than just a crush.
“I’m sorry, I’m a bit embarrassed,” you laughed.
“Me too,” he smiled sheepishly, “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time; I suppose I was a bit too eager.” Fuck, he was perfect.
“You’ve wanted to kiss me for a long time?” He looked at you as if you were slow. As if his following words were the only possible response that could have come out of his mouth.
“Of course I have,” he laughed, “have I not been terribly obvious? I thought it was easy to see that I’ve been utterly in love with you for the last year.” Your lips fell apart in shock.
“You…love me?”
“Yes,” he breathed. His eyes flickered down to your lips once again. Everything in your body urged you to touch him again, to feel his lips on yours, but you wanted more information.
“But, why?” you laughed.
“Why? Oh, you have no idea. I am in love with you. You are the most perfect person I have ever met—” his hands removed themselves from the blankets to press to either side of your face—“your personality, your humor, your mind, everything about you makes my heart swell. When you look at me, when you walk next to me, when your arms would brush me in class…those small gestures have always been enough to sustain a deep desire to be loved by you.”
“En—”
“If you do not reciprocate those feelings, that is okay. I’m not going to force you to feel anything toward me. The feeling of that kiss was enough, and if you asked me never to speak to you again…it would be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I will do it, knowing that I told you my true feelings. The feeling of your lips on mine has renewed me forever.”
“Fuck,” you sobbed. The two of you laughed as tears welled in your eyes. The impact of Enzo’s words had hit you like a train, burrowing deep into the vessels of your heart. You never knew someone could be capable of loving in a way such as that, let alone the recipient of that love being you. And to think that he wasn’t even sure if you loved him back. To think he said all of that, not knowing if he’d ever feel the same thing in return. It was enough for the tears to begin sliding down your cheeks.
“Please don’t cry,” he whispered. His thumbs gently brushed the liquid away from your cheeks. A small smile was plastered on his face, and his eyes were easy and comforting.
“En,” you sobbed, your voice shaking, “of course I love you back. That’s why I was so upset earlier. I’ve loved you for so long. All I think of is you…I have to push you from my thoughts to get anything done.” The two of you laughed quietly.
“I’m that distracting?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow teasingly. You rolled your eyes and nodded, the smile refusing to leave your lips. Your cheeks ached beneath the pull of the grin, but nothing was going to pull it away from you. You were much too happy for that.
He pulled your body against him, cradling your head lovingly against his chest as your arms wrapped around his waist. He smelled sweet and familiar, his heartbeat pushing slightly against your cheek. The feeling of him pressed against you was more than you ever could have hoped for. His strong arms held you tightly in place, warding off anything that could ever get to you. Within Enzo’s hold, you felt like you could survive anything as if his body was energizing you. The love surging through your veins slipped against his, eternally binding them together. You were Enzo’s, and he was yours; that was all you’d ever hoped for. The universe had been particularly kind today. You smiled, your eyes slipping closed.
“I love you,” he whispered, his lips pressed into your hair. You took a moment to relish in the feeling of having someone say that to you, of having him say that to you. It felt so perfect.
“I love you too, En.”
#fanfiction#creative writing#fanfic#writing#reader insert#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#oneshot#slytherin#lorenzo berkshire#enzo berkshire#gender neutral reader#request#fluff
757 notes
·
View notes
Text
Our Omega PT2
Pairing: Select Lionesses x reader
Tags: Omegaverse, Harassment, stereotypical alpha-omega dynamics, nesting, cuddling, doom scrolling, low-key cyberbullying.
Summary: You have been mated for a couple of weeks and get harassed at a game. This will be the last part for this combo but I am considering doing one for Arsenal or Chelsea. P.S. This is definitely not my best work.
Wordcount: 2K
Sitting on the sidelines of a game has become one of your favorite activities other than training. Seeing your girls doing what they are best was unlike anything else. That is how you are back at Wembley watching your girls play against Ireland. You can feel the excited nervous energy the girls are feeling through your bond. Alessia already scored a goal and you're barely into the first half.
A flash of a camera catches your attention and you turn around only to find yourself inches away from a stranger's phone. “ Hi,” You can’t help the annoyed tone that seeps into your voice. People have become fascinated with you since you went public with your relationship. Not that you could blame them, it still feels unreal but the permanent bite marks make it difficult to go unnoticed. “Hi oh my god, I can’t believe you're here. “ The girl looks like she couldn’t be more than sixteen years old. “Where else would I be?” You roll your eyes, turning back to the game. You can feel her eyes on you but don't turn around. You don’t have the mental energy to be nice to her so it is easier to just avoid communicating as much as possible. People like this just get on your nerves. We are all just people.
After Georgia scored you could tell they had the game in the bag. Not that they become less aggressive in their play style but you could feel the stressed tension in your bond loosening. you tense as someone steps on your shoulder taking a deep breath and turning around you are faced with the same teen and what you assume to be her friends. “ Do you think we could get a picture?” She asks so excitedly you don't have the heart to say no. “Sure,” They crowd around you and one of them pulls out their phone to take a selfie.” if you wouldn’t mind I would like to get back to the game.” You turn back to the pitch barely listening as the girls return to their seats. The scents of the people around you grow heavier as the game continues. Some Alpha’s really need to get their scents under control. It's so overpowering you can barely think.
Once the game is over you head out towards the tunnel to meet up with the girls. Normally they would just come and grab you from the barrier but with this being an official Euro qualifier everyone is trying to follow the rules to a T. The stadium is crowded with people's scents covering every inch of space. A familiar overselling scent fills the air around you .”Hello,” You turn around only inches away from Amber. “Hi” You smile through your annoyance and try to back away from her only to have her follow your steps backing you into the corner. “Where are you mates? not very nice of them to leave their omega all alone.” Amber's smile has a predatory look and you can’t help the fear scent escaping your body. “They didn’t leave me there. I am waiting for them to finish post-match interviews. You try to duck away from her only for her arm to cage you in. “you should probably get away from me if they find you this close it won’t be pretty.” You shrink away as her scent becomes impossible and more aggressive. “There isn’t much they can do to me here” This girl could not learn when someone was not interested. You are mated now she can’t just be out here with you.
”Get away from her '' Lucy's voice startles you out of your fear-induced faze. you slide to the floor as Luce shoves Amber away from you.``you took her from me” Amber shouts as Luce keeps pushing her farther away from you. “Shh. you are okay I’m right here '' Mills scoops you up holding you tight to her chest. Her purr lulls you into a safe headspace. “Let’s get you home.''The rest of the girls join up with you as Mills gets you buckled into the backseat of the car.``Where is Luce '' you question as Millie gets into the driver seat. “She will meet us at the house.” you startle as the car door opens and Less and Ella slide in on either side of you. “Is Lucy okay?”. “She is perfectly fine. I can't say that much about the other girl,” Ella explains with a smirk clear on her face. “She didn't kill her, did she? '' Killing a girl would definitely get her suspended if not worse.``No Mary and Leah pulled her off before it got that serious.'' Alessia explains. “That's good, I don't want her to get in trouble because of me.”
“It's not your fault That stupid girl, what was her name?” Millie prompted from the front seat.”Amber” ‘Amber should never have gotten that close to you. That is never appropriate, especially with a mated omega. She deserves everything Lucy gave her.” Millie turns into the driveway and you can’t seem to get out of the car fast enough. You just want to go back to your house, your nest. Everything is too much. “Shh love come on let's get you up the stairs. ”Less and Ella are practically running after you as you hurry up the stairs and into the bedroom. Your nest is just the way you left it this morning and that is some comfort as you collapse into it. “How about we turn on a show and wait for the rest of the girls to get home” Less prompts snuggling up next to you. As much as you don't want to do anything, some TV did sound distracting. “What are you going to turn on?”. “Whatever you want my love”. “Derry girls,” you ask with a smile slowly appearing on your face. “Of course” As Alessia is turning on the TV Ella slips in behind you. “Sorry, I have to get my switch to play FIFA.” Ella presses a kiss to your back before returning to her game. Ella and her game you can barely pull it away from her when she has free time. You let yourself relax as the opening of Derry Girls starts.
You don’t even realize how much time has passed until Millie comes in dressed in her pjs with 4 pizza’s. “I was thinking of dinner in bed then some dessert.” Millie sets the pizza’s down on the floor next to the bed and crawls in. Over the past couple of hours the rest of your mates have joined you in your tv binge. “What did you get for dessert?” You question as Mills opens up the boxes. “Brownies and ice cream” She hands you a slice on a paper towel and you gladly begin eating. You forgot about eating in your panic to feel safe again. “Where is Luce” You can’t help missing her, everyone else is home safe and having her out god knows where doesn’t help your inner omega stay calm. “She had to do some cleanup but should be home soon.” Leah pipes up from where she's been scrolling on her phone. “ Do you want me to call her?" Leah asks, finishing her slice of pizza.” Do you mind?” You hate to be a bother no one wants to have a clingy mate. “None of us mind doing things for you, we just want you to be happy.” She dials the number and hands you the phone.
“Hey Leah what's up” Lucy sounds stained as if he is trying to multitask. “It's me, I was worried about you.” you bite your fist as she takes a deep breath. “There is no need to be worried, baby. I had to deal with some things Amber is getting banned from any of our future games. I also had to do an explanation video in case she goes public.” Luce sounds so sweet and you can’t help the tears that escape our eyes. There is no reason to cry, everything is fine, and no one dies. “Baby, you're alright I am going to come home now okay? I will be fifteen minutes tops.” “I'll see you soon then” You choke the words out a few more stray tears rolling down your face. “Come here luv” Georgia pulls you into her arms from behind and you fall into her more tears scraping your eyes. “I don’t even know Why I am crying” You whine letting out the keening cry that omega’s use to let their pack know they are hurting. “You can cry for no reason, you can cry whenever you want. You went through a lot today. You deserve to feel whatever emotions you want.” Georgia explains her hands rubbing circles into your skin are soon joined by the rest of your pack all in an effort to keep you from crying yourself sick.
“Oh baby” Lucy crawls into the nest taking your face into her hands. “It's going to be okay. We are all safe no one is ever going to touch you like that again.'' Lucy pulls your hand to rest over her heart. “We can go to sleep and deal with this tomorrow. You will feel better after a full night's rest. You barely notice as Lucy pulls you to rest in her lap. She starts a slow purr meant for calming omegas. It's annoying how easily she is able to calm you down. “It's not fair we tried that earlier,” Leah complains, her voice barely above a whisper. “I guess you're just not as skilled as I am, '' Luce teases as you slowly begin to drift off to sleep.
When you wake up Lucy is still holding you but she's shifted to be spooning you so your arms are free. There is no way to escape Luce’s death grip so you just start scrolling through Instagram on whoever phone is closest to you. The first thing on your feed is a video of Luce explaining last night which you quickly scroll past. It's more of your usual baking and football commentary until you reach a post about last night. The poster claims to be friends with Amber, which is hard to believe since she is sure an asshole. They are trying to say that you came on to Amber and then acted like she came on to you when your alpha showed up. This is so untrue if any of the witnesses came forward they would all say that Amber came on to you but the comments are full of people agreeing about how much of a slut you are.
So here you are an hour later still scrolling through X trying to find anyone who agrees with you. It's more of the same users all agreeing with Amber. You are so engrossed in your scrolling that you don’t notice Rachel until she sets her hand on your shoulder. “Are you okay?" She is still in her Pj's, a mug full of coffee in her free hand. “Ya, why wouldn’t I be.”You turn the phone on and set it face down next to you.. At some point Luce let her arms loosen to the point where you could at least it up. “I just wanted to make sure with what everyone is saying you know it isn't true.” You nod, taking the mug from her hands and quickly taking a large gulp before handing it back to her. “I know how cruel people can be especially when they don’t know the full story” Rach was this way about her that sets you at ease while also making you feel more heard and understood than you have in your whole life. “I just don’t know how to make them understand.”. “Some never will these things are hard to understand unless you've earned it. What we can do is show people the camera footage of her following you and ignoring your wishes. It's not the best option and it shouldn’t be the only way people will believe you but it would help take some of the hate off of you.” Rachel explains remorse clearly on her face. “I don’t care what they are saying as much as I care that they are trying to convince you that I am those things.”. “No one can convince us of anything about you other than yourself. These people know nothing about what you are really like for us for this pack, nothing anyone says will ever change that.”
#woso community#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso soccer#woso one shot#woso#lucy bronze#lucy bronze x reader#alessia russo#alessia russo x reader#ella toone#ella toone x reader#millie bright x reader#rachel daly#georgia stanway
241 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Here I am trying to fix my pants, and the jacket gose off!" These were the words of the late Samir Ghanem in the play "The Married Couples".
As a start : What happened, happened!
In our view, this is exactly what happened to us. We tried to put vetting in order when we created GazaVetters for important reasons, primarily to preserve the dignity and worth of the people of Gaza. How so? The success of GazaVetters is the answer. When we first started, we realized there was a marginalized group trying to vette their campaigns but struggling with the slowing pace of vetting. One reason was the work pressure and the overwhelming number of vetting requests, which exceeded the ability of one or two people to handle, leading some to resort to pleading with coordinators to vette their campaigns. This situation drove us to create a solution that preserves the dignity of our people. We, as members of this community, share the same need for recognition, vetting, and promotion. We wouldn’t accept humiliation for ourselves, nor would we accept it for others.
Instead of staying stuck in the initial stages of promotion, we sought to solve the problem and provided a dignified vetting experience. We were proactive, working with professionalism and high respect. (You can ask anyone about their experience with GazaVetters by contacting Abu Ahmed through calls or scheduling vetting interviews). Through this step, we eased the burden on the coordinators and, most importantly, preserved the dignity and self-respect of new campaign creators by supporting all those who wished to vette their campaigns.
[In this regard, and after an exhausting journey, we deeply appreciate the efforts of the original vetting teams, and we wish to thank them for standing with us through this crisis. We extend our gratitude and appreciation to them.]
And then this Happened
However, we encountered a new problem. Some platforms started using our list of campaigns unfairly, which contradicts the principles upon which our platform was founded.
We’ve all witnessed the story of the aid truck that ends up with a select few while other, equally deserving people receive nothing. All the campaigns we vetted are 100% legitimate, but seeing certain campaigns, even if legitimate, receiving large-scale attention while others that are equally in need are marginalized, this is simply not fair. This imbalance contributed to the exclusion and despair of campaigns that most need help.
Regarding Campaign vetting
To our friends and followers, rest assured that we will return very soon after evaluating the current situation.
In Conclusion
We will come back stronger, with a new mission.
The most important point right now is that we need your minds to think with us about solutions to organize this matter. We would be very interested in your ideas and suggestions, and if there are any points you would like to discuss with us, we would warmly welcome them.
Now, our brother ,"Abu Ahmed" initially kept his identity private by his own choice. However, in the spirit of constructive criticism, the challenge that arose was the lack of clarity about who was behind the blog, the "unknown soldier." Therefore, today, out of respect for everyone, we will present the blog of the person who fully vetted and archived this list (Abu Ahmed) @hs2024.
===============================
"جيت ألمّ البنطلون، الجاكيتة ضربت!" كانت هذه كلمات الراحل سمير غانم في مسرحية "المتزوجون".
في البداية: ما حدث قد حدث!
في اعتقادنا، هذا ما حدث معنا بالضبط؛ فلقد حاولنا ضبط أمور التوثيق عندما أنشأنا GazaVetters لأسباب مهمة، أهمها الحفاظ على كرامة وقيمة الإنسان الغزي. كيف ذلك؟ نجاح GazaVetters هو الإجابة. عندما بدأنا، أدركنا أن هناك فئة مهمشة تحاول توثيق حملاتها ولكن تعاني من توقف وتيرة التوثيق. وأحد الأسباب هو ضغط العمل وكثرة طلبات التوثيق التي تتجاوز قدرة شخص أو اثنين أو ثلاثة على إدارتها، مما أدى بالبعض إلى الاستنجاد والتوسل للوصول إلى المشرفين لتوثيق حملاتهم. هذا الوضع دفعنا لإيجاد حل يحفظ كرامة أبناء شعبنا؛ فنحن منهم ولديهم نفس الحقوق بالتوثيق والنشر. لم نقبل الإهانة على أنفسنا، ولم نقبلها عليهم.
فبدل البقاء في مستنقع الترويج التقليدي، ساهمنا في حل المشكلة وقدّمنا تجربة توثيق باحترام. كنا إيجابيين وعملنا بمهنية واحترام عالٍ. (يمكنكم سؤال أي شخص عن تجربة التوثيق مع GazaVetters عبر أبو أحمد، من خلال الاتصال أو جدولة مواعيد المقابلات للتوثيق). بهذه الخطوة، أرحنا المشرفين وخففنا عنهم من أعباء التوثيق، والأهم من ذلك، حافظنا على كرامة وعفّة أصحاب الحملات الجديدة، محاولين خدمة كل من أراد توثيق حملته.
[وفي هذا الإطار، وبعد التجربة المرهقة، نحن أكثر من يقدّر مجهود الفرسان الأوائل من الموثقين، ونودّ أن نشكرهم باسمنا جميعاً لوقوفهم معنا في هذه الأزمة. لهم كل الشكر والتقدير منّا جميعاً.]
ولكن تفاجأنا بمعضلة جديدة، حيث قامت بعض المدونات باستخدام قوائمنا بشكل "غير عادل"، وهو ما يتنافى مع القواعد التي تأسست عليها مدونتنا.
جميعنا في قطاع غزة شهدنا قصة شاحنة المساعدات التي تصل إلى عدد محدود، بينما يُحرم آخرون محتاجون منها. كذلك، على الرغم من شرعية جميع الحملات التي وثقناها بنسبة مئة بالمئة، إلا أن بعض الحملات حصلت على زخم ودعم كبيرين، في حين تُهمل حملات أخرى نعلم مدى حاجتها. هذا الوضع ليس عادلاً، بل إنه ساهم في إقصاء بعض الحملات التي بأشدّ الحاجة إلى الدعم، وترك أصحابها في حالة من اليأس.
بالنسبة لتوثيق الحملات
نطمئن أصدقاءنا بأننا سنعود قريباً بعد مراجعة الأوضاع الراهنة.
أصدقائنا الأعزاء النقطة الأهم حاليا اننا بحاجة لعقولكم تفكر معنا بحلول لتنظيم هذا الأمر.
سنكون مهتمين كتير بافكاركم و مقترحاتكم تحبون ان تتحدثوا فيها معنا و سنرحب بها كثيرا.
الان الاخ ابو احمد، كان سبب حماية هويته الشخصيه هو رغبته بذلك، لكن في إطار النقد البناء كانت النقطة الصعبة فيما حدث عدم معرفة من يقف وراء المدونة - الجندي المجهول - لذلك اليوم احتراما للجميع سوف نعرض المدونة الخاصة بهذا الشخص الذي قام توثيق وارشفة هذه القائمة باكملها (ابو احمد) @hs2024
#GazaVetters#gazavetters#free gaza#free palestine#gaza strip#gaza#gravity falls#vetted gfm#gfm#gofundme#gofund.me#all eyes on palestine#palestinian genocide#free palastine#i stand with palestine#save palestine#ilhan omar#rashida tlaib#aoc#michigan#boost#signal boost
157 notes
·
View notes