#I am truly at the peak of my hyperfix

[salem-sapiens]

Someone get these two out of my head.

Side note: Not that Frollo is too shy to ask himself, he just doesn't want to interact with underpaid workers (and of course Phoebus has to deal with his shit).

[hoshidensha]

<3 <3 <3

the new art<3<3 if you care

[wobbmin]

PEAK HAS LORE

OH MY ACTUAL GOD I JUST LISTENED TO BITE ME AND IT'S PERFECT! Not just because it's a banger, but the actual meaning behind the song in relation to Cyn is EXACTLY what I've wanted with her this whole time.

At first, I wasn't sure if the singer was supposed to be Uzi or Cyn, but later on it seems to definitely be Cyn, especially at the 1:00 mark saying how she's so far gone and even says "eat my heart, take my soul, let it burn you" which is exactly what Uzi did.

So, knowing that Cyn is singing, it makes the part at 2:13 VERY interesting

"You should let me go I'M NOT WORTH SAVING We won't let them know

Let them carry on LET THEM SWALLOW YOU You won't save me too

WE WON'T LET THEM SWALLOW YOU"

If it is Cyn singing, then this part is the real Cyn saying to not only not worry about saving her, but also to not let the heroes know she's still there so they don't have to feel sorry and can move on. Most of the other lyrics seems to be the Solver singing through Cyn.

This. It's exactly what I've wanted.

The real Cyn truly was still in there somewhere, but that latter part of what she's saying is why there’s no actual “she’s still in there” moment.

I have long been an advocate of “Cyn is also an unwitting victim of the Solver” ever since episode 5 - hell, ever since that brief glimpse of her in episode 4 - and this confirms it. I so badly wanted Cyn's real personality to shine though for a moment, maybe to apologize and/or ask to be killed and freed, but it just being part of the song in the background makes it even more tragic.

Cyn knows she must be stopped at all costs, and she would rather her family think she’s either already gone or never existed than make them get hung up on trying to save her from the Solver, especially after seeing the lengths and dangers N went to to save Uzi from possession.

It’s such a beautifully sad fate. I don’t know if it’s the Solver or Cyn herself now living in Uzi’s tail (the latter would explain why it’s suddenly friendly to her after she ruined everything for it), but one thing is clear: Cyn cares about her family and wants them to win, even if she has to die.

It’s weird. After the finale left me with that classic, inevitable, “now what?” hollow feeling when a show ends, listening to this song on its own gave me one last closure with the series I didn’t think I’d get. Like, I genuinely can't describe the feeling in my chest when I realized what I was hearing after thinking the last chance for it to happen had already passed. I am so happy right now.

(Yes, I know I could have heard those lyrics in the original video, but I'm bad at picking up on lyrics mid-action, and a part of me feels like some time to marinate on the ending helped make this realization more impactful.)

Thank you, Murder Drones. Thank you, Glitch. Thank you, Liam. This has been the most fun hyperfixation I’ve ever had, and I don't expect it to end any time soon.

[t00muchheart]

As I do when I am hyperfixating on something, I have read a LOT of supernatural fanfiction in the last few months, and I get a lot of the titles I read from other peoples’ recommendations or collections on ao3, so I figured I’d share some of my favorites in case anyone else is looking for recs :)

AUs:

Spirit of the West by teen_dean

This is a shock to literally no one who follows me because I regularly bring it up, but it honestly is one of the best things I’ve ever read. The 90s horse girl AU of your dreams (or, if you haven’t dreamed of one, that you never knew you needed). The storytelling is immaculate, the symbolism rich, and it only improves on re-reading

And this, your living kiss by opal_bullets

Poet Dean AU featuring genuinely beautiful comments on language and writing and how we encounter stories and words and what they can do, and also some honestly incredible poetry

where there is darkness by quiettewandering

Lighthouse keepers AU! this one is a bit mysterious and I did scream into a pillow after finishing it. If you know the story of the Flannan Isles lighthouse keepers, it is loosely inspired by that.

Phantasma by thisisapaige

Messy Dean, my beloved. Messy, Stanford-Era Dean, my beloved. Dean breaks off from John and buys a haunted house, and things sort of escalate.

For All You Young Hockey Players Out There, Pay Attention by thursdaysfallenangel

I don’t even watch hockey, but this AU kind of made me want to start. Rivals to friends to lovers all while dealing with the homophobia in the NHL

time has come today series by teen_dean

Team Free Will brings in teen Dean Winchester to help with a case, parallel worlds come into play; every version of Dean Winchester falls in love with Castiel & all the good stuff like that

What Baking Can Do by cowlovely

Baker & Dad Dean fic and Doctor Cas? What more could you ask for?

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall

Food Critic Cas and Chef Dean meet in a truly unfortunate way. This is worth it for Cas’s reviews alone, but also the Dean-Gabriel dynamic

FROTUS by kathscradle

A President Cas, Restaurant Owner Dean romance that was honestly just a good time

Fix-Its:

take the bones, begin anew by JustStandingHere

This was one of the first fics I read and it is sort of peak disaster™ Dean Winchester. I love a good “I fixed up a house for you and didn’t realize it meant I was in love” fic and this one is iconic

i want to do with you (what spring does with cherry trees) by sobsicles

I ugly cry every time I read this fic. It is a run of Cas and Dean’s relationship in seasons 13-15 and has Dean making a friend and it hurts but also it’s so good. Maybe my favorite Sam line of any fic comes from this fic ("If he thinks what you two do is friendship, then I must just be some guy he happens to speak to sometimes.”)

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles

Dean gets tattoos, and as he does, he tells the tattoo artist his life story. This is a post-15x19 fic told from an outside perspective and it is so well-done

Dumbassery, Denial, Doing by sobsicles

Listen tbh this list could be dominated by sobsicles and so I am showing restraint by only including three of their works. Their Dean characterization is everything to me and this fic really highlights Dean growing to understand himself better when given the freedom to

Revisions by bizarrestars

THEE what if Dean and Cas got together earlier and Chuck just wrote it out? fic.

a turn of the earth by microcomets

I love a work that explores pre-series Dean, and this one is great. Basically, think what-if later seasons Cas and pre-series Dean met (Strandlines by aeli_kindara is another good example of this premise, but in Strandlines, it is pre-series Cas as well as pre-series Dean).

psalm 40:2 by unicornpoe

On a similar note, psalm 40:2 is a great pre-series Dean, future-Cas fic. I am a bi Dean believer but this fic did sway me toward the gay Dean camp because it’s simply so good.

You Belong Among the Wildflowers by ImYourHoneyBee

Dean fixing his relationship with Jack? You got it. Dean trying to work through losing Cas? Yep. Dean getting Cas back by being stubborn? It’s there.

Who You Gonna Call? by saintedcastiel

Dean has a ghost following him around as he tries to start a life post-series, and for a while, he can’t figure out what’s happening. I love nothing more than Dean telling people he and Cas were married because he doesn’t know how else to explain and this fic delivers so hard

quilts by fleeceframe

A “Cas didn’t confess before getting taken to the Empty” fic. Soft things all around

Miscellaneous:

Fathers & Daughters by sinnabonka

On a different note, this is one of my favorite Claire fics. It looks at Claire’s relationship with Cas and the impossibility of it, and it’s so artfully done.

Bus Loop Madness by batz_in_blue

Literally just a “what if everyone lived, Jack was a toddler, and they all picked him up from school?” AU. I audibly laughed while reading this, and it’s an essential pick-me-up from the heavier fics.

More of my favorite sobsicles fics include: gorging myself on you, still can’t get full (insatiable), and he’s back (with a mind of his own), six hundred sundays (and many more), oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith, things happen (they do, they do, and they do), according to all known laws of life, and profoundly bonded (by law)

Also, honorable mentions to Ninety One Whiskey, which is such a good fic, and Make a Believer Outta Me, which is a Hocus Pocus AU that is honestly just a fun time.

[ctrlhope]

HOSEOK IS HOMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

OHHHH MY GODDDDD!!!!!!!!

(updates below the cut lol) (also a sneak peak)

hiiiii!!! long time no talkkkkk my lovlies (＞ω＜)♡

first off-- an apology :(( im really sorry for just disappearing. i hate it, you guys hate it. i know :( it's really my worst flaw when it comes to writing / tumblr in general, haha~ i get rlly into something and hyperfixate on it (fun fact: bound by blood was written in like 3 days bc i got so into it lol), and then a gradual fallout until i feel burnt out. which then leads to the whole "omg i left for so long, now im anxious that everyone is gonna hate me when i come back and cause i haven't updated in so long and yadda yadda" when i actually want to come back LMAOOOO. which i know isn't true, but like, you know AKSNDK. So i hung out on my anime blog for a bit, then on discord, blah blah blah boring stuff!!

either way, i really am sorry for just dipping for so long. i always came back to check on this blog every once and awhile and to read stories. i really love the little community i built over here and i love all of you guys dearly. you really make this blog such a fun and enjoyable space for me so i hope you accept my apology and we can all still be fun and hang out and stuff <33 i missed you guys dearly.

THAT BEING SAID!!

I am back!! I was planning to come back for kinktober, actually, but unfortunately time just got away from me and I wasn't able to complete everything that I wanted to. This semester has been HECTIC!!! Senior thesis's are no joke, man, no joke. Feeding 600 spiders... every week.... BLEH!! (not cause of the spiders aksjhwfkh just cause it takes so long!! like!!)

That being said-- I don't have a current update schedule yet, just because I don't want to put too much pressure on myself again (burnout is a bitch!!) but~~ as of right now, I have plans for a "full comeback" (read: first fic) to come out the first week of November!! A little teaser of it will be at the bottom of this post too <33

Hopefully, if everything goes according to plan I will have a 'ficvember' (lol), where I post a fic every other week of November and December!! It is not set in stone (read as: I want to have a few fics lined up before I start just so I don't feel overwhelmed) but if everything goes according to plan, it will happen!! I'll make sure of it!!

I also plan to have a follower milestone soon, so stay tuned for an announcement post of that. I have lots of different things I want to do for it, I'm just not fully sure what you guys would like to see! I also updated my wips, so feel free to check them out to see what i've been working on!

But yeah!! Those are the plans so far!! To lay it out in a more organized manner:

November 1st: Chasing Tornados -> myg

November 2nd - 8th: Follower milestone announcement

November 15th, November 29th: New fic

Anyway! To wrap up this entirely too long post (I'm sorry, I'm terrible at shutting up), I truly am sorry for just leaving for so long. I have lots of plans in the works-- things I'm very passionate about and need to get out of my head before I explode, so new fics coming soon, I promise <333

Now, here's the reward I promised if you made it this far <33 I love u and we should kiss on the mouth freaky style <333

[quinngefail]

hear me out

Invader Zim x Saw

any thoughts?

BEEN TRYING TO THINK ABOUT WHAT ANGLE TO APPROACH THIS FROM LMAO... It would truly be the merging of some of the biggest hyperfixations I've ever had though HSKGK

Haven't been super super fixated on Invader Zim in a good few years though. Middle school was really where it absolutely peaked orz When I say it consumed my life I am not lying

It really is just a thing where it's like. In hindsight. How the fuck did I not get diagnosed with ADHD until age 21 😪

WILL THINK ON THIS THOUGH... Because it would be fun to revisit some Zim stuff :)

Here's some shit I drew at age 13-14. Could absolutely dig up so, so much more old Zim art but it is also nearly 1 AM right now HRSKGKGK... But maybe another time I'll do a bigger post with more from this era of my life because again,, THERE IS SO, SO MUCH OF IT 😭

Edit: Okay so I have posted old art here actually, totally forgot lmao- got it in my Invader Zim tag :) but I COULD FIND MORE!!

[hijinks-n-lowjinks]

If you could recommend a song for your ship, what song would it be? (You can give reasons why if you want to!)

Also, how's your day been? Hope it's going well! 💫

My day is going pretty good so far! I got groceries earlier today so that was a bit of hit to my bank account but it’s worth it to be able to eat a decent meal. I hope your day has been pleasant as well :D

And thank you for indulging me in yapping about my music taste lol, I have a LOT to say

I’m gonna start off with itafushi since they’re everyone’s current hyperfixation! You can find these songs of my itafushi playlist here

arms by Christina Perri: This song is so Megumi!!! The fear of getting close to someone and pushing them away first, saying that you’re not worth the fight? That’s Megumi in the current arc to a T right now.

Fav lyrics include: “I can’t decide if I’ll let you save my life or if I’ll drown” “the world is coming down around me and I can’t find a reason to be loved/I never want to leave you but I can’t make you bleed if I’m alone” “‘I’ve never opened up and I’ve never truly loved ‘til you” “and I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go”

North Star by Searows: peak yearning and longing. A desire to be the safe place for someone and wanting to be the person they come to for comfort.

Fav lyrics: “I don’t know what else came before you/you must know I just adore you” “I want you to have it all, all you’ve ever needed” “I don’t wanna need anything when you’re all that I’ve got to lose” “don’t you ever tire of all that? picking up the pieces/you don’t have to be alone when you’re the place I want to go” “if you ever want to fall back I’ll let you go/but when it’s said and done, I’ll be the North Star that takes you home”

Dinner With Friends by Kacey Musgraves: this song has been on LOOP for me since 266. Finding meaning and joy in the simplicities of life and how those are the things that make life worth living. Finding by solace in the person you’ve chosen, being known intimately by that person. It’s just perfect for them. The whole song is fairly short, but the final chorus never fails to make me emotional when paired with the acoustic guitar.

Fav lyrics: “early in June when the fireflies first start to glow, it never gets old” “the shape of his heart and my shoes by his door/he loves me in all of the ways I’ve never felt love before” “the things I would miss from the other side”

Save Me by Noah Kahan: can you tell that Megumi is my favorite character? Soooo many songs on my itfs playlist are about him, he’s just the perfect muse. A confusion over why someone would try to know or save you from yourself/outside forces and both wanting to be with them while being afraid of not being enough for them.

Fav lyrics: “let me go/why do you keeping reaching for my hand?/do you see something I can’t?/why do you try to save me?” “this fate is well deserved, I only make things worse” “sometimes I pray that maybe I’ll change into who you think I am”

Nothing To Be Scared Of by Kacey Musgraves: this album has a ton of itfs vibes to them! This song in particular is how I picture post canon itfs in slowly realizing that there’s nothing left to be afraid of and that they’ve made it through. Furthermore, than they can rely on each other and make it through together.

Fav lyrics: “holding tight to who you are like someone’s gonna take it/bubble wrap around your heart like someone’s gonna break it/demons in your mirror/together we’ll escape them” “come to me and drop your bags/and I’ll help you unpack them/you’re the only one i want to give my love/there’s nothing to be scared of”

Die With A Smile by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars: this is a recent edition! The lyrics are soooo itfs though, especially when paired with the dramatic instrumentation! A desperation to stick together no matter what and a strong devotion to each other despite what happens even if it leads to tragedy.

Fav lyrics: “wherever you go I’ll follow/nobody’s promised tomorrow/so I’ll love you ever night like it’s the last night” “if the world was ending I’d want to be next to you/I’d want to hold you just for a while and die with a smile”

[encasedinobsidian]

Thoughts on writing - June 16 

I don’t expect anyone to read this, but I meant for this tumblr to be specifically for my writing after all, so I figure this is the place to put these thoughts, and anyone is welcome to read them if interested. I’m just reflecting on myself as a writer, how I relate to this hobby, and about feeling discouraged/lacking in meaning, and trying to figure out where to go with it when there are no clear paths ahead. 

I feel like I vent to my friends often but never really try to articulate my thoughts the way I do when I actually write, so maybe writing about writing will help me sort it out for myself. 

I never meant for writing to become much of anything at all. I started writing a fanfic, thought it was funny, and my intention was to post it and move on like I always move on from any other hobby, following the same pattern of interest → hyperfixation → creating something → getting bored → discovering something new. I had no experience with writing or fandom, and it was thanks to a tiktok on my FYP that I even discovered Pedro boy fanfic in the first place, though I found it insanely weird at first. My eventual amusement obviously turned into something much more significant, and I’ve found a lot of personal healing through writing, discovered different sides of myself, developed the ability to sustain the attention needed to read a full length book, etc. I guess the difficulty is knowing where to go with it. 

It’s funny - I frequently find myself thinking this sucks, why am I doing this, nothing interesting will come of this, my brain is empty, fuck this, about writing. And I say those things but then I write anyway. I say I’m done with it and thanks for the past 15 months, I’m out, and then a few hours later I’m on my doc coming up with something. I can’t really stop at this point, it’s like my internal monologue got a physical manifestation and now it’s something I just do. At any given time, I can open my docs and add something to some story, regardless of where I am. It’s like a reflex at this point, and I have no control over it. I put my hands on the keyboard and things just come out one way or another. 

I frequently feel like I’ve reached the end of my own ability, though, or the end of what I’m capable of creating. I was never an avid reader, so there’s a foundational understanding of storytelling that I largely feel like I don’t have. I’ve read more in 2024 than I have in my whole life, actually finishing books instead of reading the first quarter over and over, so I essentially feel a bit dumb or lacking in knowledge about what makes a story interesting. I really, truly have no idea what I’m doing, I don’t know any conventions I’m supposed to follow. I pretty much know the concept of “showing not telling” and that’s it. I also know the typical series buildup of the angst peaking, conflict, resolution, which I'm now trying not to do so I don't repeat myself too much across series. I’ve also read a lot of things (both books and fics) that I very much enjoy but that don’t match my inner voice at all really, and ended up feeling less than as a writer because certain styles of writing don’t come naturally to me. Reading American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis was the first time I read something and thought, wow, this actually reads very naturally to me, especially after a year of feeling like my inner voice is wrong or oversimplified or dumbed down. 

And even though we all write for ourselves, we are all affected by our audience. I’ve been sort of brutal in unintentionally cutting down my own audience by moving platforms and no longer writing the things that gained me my following in the first place, and I guess I’ve done it as part of my constant, neverending, extreme need for authenticity of some sort, and a hatred for being boxed in or expected to do things I don’t want to do. Truthfully, I don’t know what my audience wants from me, and even if I knew, I probably wouldn’t be able to cater to it. If I put out a poll and asked what people wanted to see from me, the overwhelming majority would likely say Joel Miller with no real specifics on what type of story they’d want to see, or they’d want my rendition of something they’re already familiar with. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all, I’m very flattered by everyone enjoying my takes on that man, but I guess I’m in this place where I’ve spent so much goddamn time on writing and I need to figure out who I am as a writer completely outside of that. 

One of my writing colleagues said that I’m very mercurial, and I’d never thought much about that word at all despite how well it describes how I’ve been my entire life. I can never seen to make up my mind on things, and I’m frequently changing, removing stuff, my writing style changes as I deepen my understanding of the story, my characters etc, as I take more things into consideration and expand my own view. 

To put it in Patrick Bateman terms: this reflection…. Has meant…. Nothing. And it’s true - there is no real meaning to it, cause it’s me sitting here at 6pm, looking out my window and trying to find meaning and direction in a hobby that is a completely open landscape, and where it seems like publishing is the only real goal one can have. Either that or internet success. I don’t know, I’m not sure where I’m going with any of it and who will want to read it. I guess I have a fear that everyone who has ever followed me only wants me around as yet another source of endless Joel fic and that nobody really has an interest in my writing for what it is, or for the writer I am. I don’t try to be like anyone else - everyone sees things differently, and my fics are just a representation of how all these different scenarios look in my mind. My hope is that the people who enjoy my writing regardless of characters enjoy my writing because they enjoy my POV, or enjoy the attention paid to the things I emphasize. 

Maybe I’ll come up with something more concise next time, but this has been my writing journal entry for now !! 

[alpaca-clouds]

History ain't linear

Okay, based on the little rant from last week, let me talk about another big misconception people have about history. And that is this weird idea that history is linear.

What do I mean by that? Well, in general there is this idea, that history went from undeveloped people living horrible lives to super developed people living good lives. And that in this things got better constantly every step of the way.

With this comes the idea that people in medieval Europe lived horrible, miserable lives and that obviously people always were super racist and sexist and homophobic, for it to only get better slowly over time.

Now, this idea - of history being linear - are actually rooted in propaganda. Part of it comes from Enlightenment propaganda, where the folks wanted to be seen as better than anyone before. But most of it comes from pro-capitalist propaganda, that after the end of the Cold War decided that this was "the end of history", aka "humanity has reached their peak stage".

Anyone reading my ramblings here will know, that I am not of the opinion that capitalism is peak anything - or at least anything good. But even outside of the discussion we need to have about whether capitalism should end, maybe, this idea of linear history is just plain wrong.

Excuse me for going all medieval on you again, I am just currently hyperfixating on the late medieval period.

See, we have this idea of the middle ages that everything was backwards. Woman doing her own thing would get hanged. Homosexual would get burned. Witch hunts all around. Probably some racism going on as well.

And while it is not wrong that the era was most certainly sexist and that the crusades for certain brought in the roots for later racism... It was not quite like that.

One big problem we have with the middle ages is, that we got a lot of the history through either the lense of the Enlightenment age - a time during which they wanted to propagade the idea of the horrible middle ages, while they were themselves horrible sexists, homophobes, racists and so on - or of the church, because the church is responsible for a good chunk of the written sources we have from the times itself.

But... we still have other sources, even though they are few and far between. But we have for example stuff like letters send by "normal" people. We have some popular media surviving. We have also pictures and what not. A ton of additional sources. And what we learn from that is, that for example medieval homophobia was by far not as bad as later projected. Because it was a topic that people talked about in their letters.

Or not even to go at homosexuality and just tackle sexuality in general. If we were to believe the church sources, people in the middle ages had no sex for fun. And if we look at so many other sources, this is just... plain wrong.

And, of course, let me say one thing loud and clear: The Witch Hunts were not a medieval thing. The Witch Hunts happened after the end of the middle ages. Yes, a few early ones happened during the last few years of what we consider the middle ages today, it was mostly an early modern thing. And it was closely linked to the church gaining power - not to it loosing it, as one would believe when looking at how we look at history.

History is not linear. There is never going to be an "end of history". Because there is always going to be change. Both to the good and to the bad.

Which means, that no fight is ever truly lost. But it also means that no fight is ever truly won.

Things change. Things will always change. But something that most certainly has gone forward ever since the medieval period is technology. So we should embrace technology in some degree. Because it allows us to learn and to communicate. It allows us to organize. And that is a good thing.

[lesbian-duck-art]

Sorry if this is annoying!

Do you have any specific headcanons about sdmi?

Oh my god you’re not annoying at all!!😭 I love talking to you you’re so good! I have a few here and there so let me put them down here. so sorry a lot of this is E or Angel related!

- E has so many issues in regards to relationships whether it be romantic or otherwise. Pericles’ betrayal and being forced to leave everything and one he’d ever known at 17 did a lot of damage and I don’t think he’s ever fully recovered. It’s the reason he pushes people, including Cassidy, away. Because of his childhood best friend who he cared immensely for could betray him, why couldn’t everyone else? He’s definitely got PTSD and I feel like if he didn’t already, now has a severe anxiety disorder

- We don’t see a whole lot of Ed Machine in the series nor do we know a lot about him but I think he was closer to E and Angel than people tend to assume. Whether that means they were friends or polycule, I take either one lol

- I think Nibiru’s curse has a waaaay harder time affecting people who have someone they love. Whether that be familial, romantic, or even friendship. There is no love within the original Mystery Incorporated and they fall to shreds. MI II on the other hand comes back together through their love for one another. Marcie is able to break free of the curse because of Velma, Mayor Jones temporarily breaks free because despite the lie he does love and care about Fred, E loses both Ed and Angel one after the other and he becomes worse until he realizes Angel is gone.

- That in mind: I do think Jones cared about Fred. I think sans curse, he would’ve been a better dad and I see parts of Post-Nibiru Timeline/Sitting Room Jones peak through in both seasons. There’s a one shot fic on AO3 about him in the episode with that art monster? Highly recommend it and it’s exactly how I view him as a character

- While on the topic of Fred Jones Sr., I feel like his time in jail and away from the Planispheric disk weakened the curse’s hold. Not by a lot certainly, but by a tiny bit. I think the closer you get to the pieces the more corrupt you become

- I truly think that if things were different and E had let his walls down and interacted with the kids the way Angel did, I think the mystery inc gang would’ve gotten along with him the same way they do Angel! (This is part of why I enjoy Purposefully Silent so much lol it gives me exactly what I wish the show had) I still think everything would have gone to shit one way or another but

- We been knew that Fred is autistic but I also raise that like. All of Mystery Inc is somewhere between autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD(I say this as someone who is autistic and possibly AuDHD). With this I also think Ricky is neurodivergent

- Angel is pan, E is Bi, Daphne and Fred are also bi, I think Shaggy is pan and maybe even aro, Marcie and Velma are both lesbians. I also honestly think there’s n o t h i n g about E that screams “cisgender” but I can never decide if my answer is trans man or “he/him/they/them” non-binary

- Jones and Sheriff Stone *abso-fucking-lutely* had something going on there was nothing heterosexual present. Jones is giving gay man who’s over compensating via toxic masculinity and Sheriff Stone just seems to be into Crystal Cove Mayors

- Birds were Ricky’s hyperfixation after he met Professor Pericles. He knew all the different facts and terminology and everything. He still remembers most of it(mostly unwillingly), but it’s never relevant anymore

- I’ve said it once I’ll say it again I just think E gives off dad vibes in a way I can’t explain and this is why the Velma is Ricky and Cassidy’s daughter AU is one of my favorites and one I wanna do a fic for

I don’t want to make this too long so I’ll stop here but you’re not annoying and I’m actually so glad you asked!😭 I am always down to talk about this show and you already know I enjoy talking to you lol I feel I’m very bad at expressing my head canons so I hope this is okay!

[haydenthewitch]

i've got shit to say ( positive) about the new percy jackson series, but i haven't watched Ep 3 yet, so keep that in mind

i read the books back in third grade and boy fucking howdy did i resonate. i'm not dislexic, but i am nurodivergerent (got that adhd in me babbyy) and i wasn't yet dignosed, but i'd only ever heard bad things about the "creative but can not sit still" kids. i was also, severly bullied, becuse i was the "overweight kids" (i'm not fat, and i never was, but when you tell a bunch of 2nd to 5th graders that your diabetic, some assumptions get made.) so seeing other bullied, nurodivergent children get reveried as heros did a lot of good in my kid brain.

seeing the new series has reignited one of my earlyest hyperfixations. percy jackson was my first intrest in actualy reading, and it got me into a lot of diffrent books. i now can resonate with it even deeper, being well and truly queer. (i love good old rick and his allyship of trans and queer pepole.) and i LOVE seeing other pepole getting into the fandom who wern't originaly in the book fandom *weither reading the books now, or just watching a good adaptation of the books in tv form.*

as much as i love the movies (eyeroll) i LOVE THE CASTING OF THE SHOW and how young they all look. like, it SHOWS that percy/annabeth/grover is 12. percy is just a sassy 12 year old and i love him. annabeth does act a little muture, but it's grounded with a 12 year old likeness and that push into the water is so 12 year old sister energy. she's my baby sister i love her so much. anyways yeah, it just hits you in the face of like, these are children about to rebel against the gods, fight monsters, and deal with luke who is truly, truly, a young highschooler who's a little shit but still so charming to percy.

yeah they have all these powers, yeah they are fighting battles, but percy burns his jelly beans to talk to his mom in the middle of a forest like he doesn't want to be caught. that is such peak young child energy who doesn't know what to do. (cute, and so sad it makes me want to cry.) he is my son and i will protect him at all fucking costs.

also can i just say, the kid actors are doing such a good job. like i keep going back to annabeth's little push and percy going "hey what was that for??". it's peak book energy, and it feels like such a realistic thing for two little 12 year olds to do. they are so good.

i truly can not wait for the interaction where little percy sasses off the greek god of war. like in the book he's just like "fuck you" (paraphrased) and i can not wait for percys actor to bring that energy in interacting with gods.

anyway, the tv show is good. it's good.

[redundare]

well my goodness, i was tagged by @dangerouscommiesubversive and i would love nothing more than to comply~

Last song: "Heaven Sent" The Steeldrivers

Favorite color: black, followed by olive green (and then many other shades of green)

Currently reading: today I was reading The Foxfire Book, vol. 1. I'm currently deep into Appalachia research, so I'm about to skimread all three of my Foxfire volumes. My library got hacked so I can't check out any digital books, otherwise I'd also be finishing my read of Mob Psycho 100

Currently watching:

Justified, s3. I am deep, deep, deep, into a hyperfixation on Justified

Interview With The Vampire S2. Holy fucking shit this show is peak television, I cannot believe it's not getting more attention. It's Hannibal all over again, in that no one's fucking watching and people will mourn it when it's gone. It's the most beautiful piece of television happening, queer or otherwise

McElroy Family Clubhouse - the only thing that brings me consistent uncomplicated joy

Dimension20 and Game Changer - again, things bringing me consistent uncomplicated joy. Can't wait for next season of d20

Last movie: I had to go check my letterboxd, and god fucking help me, it was the last movie we watched at Bad Movie Night, which was Neil Breen's latest installment, Cade: The Tortured Crossing. truly it was fucking torture for all of us.

Sweet/spicy/savory?: savory all day every day. but with some spice (ideally a hot sauce) on top to cut the fat, y'know?

Relationship status: married as fuck (and i have a tumblr tag for him and everything)

Last thing I googled: what am i supposed to look this up? i think it was probably "justified" so i could get to the wiki because i'm a fucking boomer

Current obsession(s): Justified, all i want is to be pickling my brain in it.

I would like to tag @mercyofkalr @tobermoriansass @meisim @tarantulabassett and @spaceyspaces

[our-lady-of-haymakers]

Private detective fiction is the peak of autistic fantasy, tbh. Oh, I'm a weird little creature in freakishly comfy clothes who gets highly passionate about the tiny details of insignificant things I have been quietly rotating in my mind since before I entered this country, and you're telling me this is key to solving giant puzzle boxes crammed with Characters and Situations that regularly spawn around the world?

I can just waltz into these ornate mansions peopled by society's wealthiest, chuckling as their disdain for my eccentricities is gradually eroded by immense shame at the consequences of their greed and arrogance?

I'm terrible at reading social cues, but in a really sexy and kinda minmaxed way that lets me periodically gain insights into the fabric of people's souls?

I am late to meetings and reluctant to get out of bed, but only because my episodes of deep dissociation have in fact helped me predict events occuring far into next week with pinpoint accuracy?

I encounter places filled with the most thoroughly inscrutable and recalcitrant people I've ever seen, but they eventually have to explain everything they think and feel and have done and expect to happen to me in excruciating detail as many times as I demand because otherwise they'll literally be murdered in their beds or have their darkest secrets revealed?

I can issue orders for the most seemingly unrelated and irrelevant books that correspond to my latest hyperfixations and rest assured that they shall in fact turn out to be tangentially-yet-vitally related to matters of international importance and endow me with the knowledge necessary to outfox billionaire grifters?

I cultivate a host of assistants and helpers who respect and adore me, occasionally in highly homoerotic ways, and are willing to keep track of my sensitivities and vulnerabilities and pet peeves and sudden needs, running for me every conceivable errand because they truly believe that I am an indispensable agent in the pursuit of higher truths and grand ideals? And they sometimes take bullets for me and passionately intercede on my behalf against the haters, only to turn around and stare ardently into my eyes and call me a loser and a freak in a loving whisper that signifies their profound authority on the topic?

I sometimes get paid for all this?

Please never wake me up.

[salvatoreren]

I finally watched AOT's last episode and frankly, I am not okay, I have been sobbing a river oh my fucking god.

Anyways, it was really good, as expected of MAPPA anyway, I was pretty much crying the whole episode actually.

I have complaints, mostly because of the not included anime, little things like not having the flashbacks of Armin of reading a book in the rain, the squirrels etc. etc. I would have love to see them in the market and the way to the boy who sought freedom, goodbye was not implemented, I WAS WAITING FOR THAT COME ON

The anime only scenes were good too, like Levi giving food to the refugees, falco and gabi, i wish we saw their outfits tho, they slayed with that one.

the way they played 13 no fuyu, im killing myself, ive been listening to that shit since 2022 which mind you was when i was active once more in aot, the fucking flashbacks my god, that was so tragic RAHHH

i also saw aot's op, EREN WITH A BOW? EREN WITH A BOW!!! MIND YOU I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE HUNGER GAMES SO IMMEDIATELY IM LIKE YES YES IT'S GIVING KATNISS EVERDEEN, WITH WHAT HIM BEING HUMANITY'S HOPE, ESP WITH THE FIRE COMING OUT OF IT FORMING A BIRD

THE SAME BIRD WE SAW ON S4 ENDING 1, oh my god, the opening was really cool omg, it perfectly showcased eren's journey, what he went through, despite being absent in the final chapters, it still showed Eren was still the protagonist...Which isayama did not understand when he made 139

Yes, I am bitter still with the ending, no, I am not hearing anyone out and no, I am not going to pour my disappointments with it STILL, here because yeah.

It's such a shame that's the last and final time we'll ever see it, devastating tragedy omg.

ARMIN AND EREN'S FINAL INTERACTION, IM GLAD THEY MADE THEM HOLD HANDS, THANK YOU MAPPA, PLS THE WAY THEY'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND WILL BE WAITING FOR EACH OTHER IN HELL, GAGGED, IM DEAD, MY ROMAN EMPIRE FOR REAL

Now that's out of the way.

It's been a long and fun ride, regardless, the final season has been going for what three years, i've been with this series for three years, it was fun really it was, this series took such a simplistic and cliched approach then twisted into something more complex and truly gutwrenching. 2020 was nothing without AOT, in my opinion, watching AOT broadened my media consumption, yanked me into the anime world and i already have so many fandoms i'm in.

2020 was a hard time too, i couldn't have done it without this bloody series, god, i remember aboarding the train hype, everything was everywhere, fics, art, videos, memes etc. All those I read influenced my writing style, all those theories made me think more critically, those memes and videos of it made me laugh. It's funny how a series like this one comforted me so much.

I remember being so traumatized by the first episode i'm like who the fuck would ever like this series with this much blood and that night i immediately searched for eren fics because i was like who is this boy i like him, i fucking dreamt of the beast titan, all those nights racing with my sister who could finish the series first, i literally woke up at 4 just to watch it before she could.

Fucking terrified which of my favorite characters were going to die next, literally sobbing over armin's death, god and the mindfuck with Marley and Eldians and Subjects of Ymir in the fray oh my god.

Can I just say, I wouldn't be who I was without AOT? Even with my cynical behavior, it's all because of it.

2021 who i never fail to reiterate and think fondly is good because of AOT as well, I figured wow, the final season is coming back, I should rewatch it again and so the hyperfixation began, i was sick too, almost dying too actually, dengue is dangerous and it was just a fond memory because i was watching aot and i acted like i never had watch these scenes in my life and despite feeling like dying i felt okay.

I was so batshit crazy when part 2 came out, that was the one that was actually peak AOT don't lie, I was literally screaming like i was giving birth OVER AN OPENING AND AN ENDING, i'll never forget any of it.

When I cried watching the whole episode, it really just occurred to me that this is really the end for AOT, i was only ever able to go through it because I have the anime and it what really kept the whole fandom alive, the anime's honestly the reason why it had this many fans as you can see.

And again the way it's heartwrenching for it to just be a simple series and then it's full blown war, jean and reiner holding out to each other, remembering how they used to be close and comrades then betrayals and war happened and it's all ruined.

The devastating realization of seeing the last few panels animated, watching the end flash through the screen, realizing there was nothing out of this now, no more next episodes, no more hype, it's gone and it's so devastating because how happy it made you, the way you'll never see these characters again, only in rewatches or art. But it's not the same.

I admit I don't feel as hyperfixated over it now, after getting burnt out of it last year, even good things go badly sadly and i was just here for eren now, but doesn't change the fact this series has nurtured my quarantine, i grew up with this series even if it was only recent, who changed the trajectory of my life and had me find my paths.

I'll never forget these characters who made my life, who brought life to the story, even if they were just moved by the plot now, i'll always have a soft spot for AOT, i will always love it, regardless how much i hate it, there will always be fondness within it.

It's kind of weird, really to see Levi who has done so much to the fandom just by existing and being drawn and animated now cease to exist? I suppose, looking at him feels weird like imagine comparing 2014 levi to 2023 levi now omg, that's where you really begin to realize how much time has passed and how much AOT has evolved AGAIN JKSDHJ

well, i'm still on eren's side, still hate what happened to him but i'll always love him, he is such an important character to me, i don't think i truly ever loved someone like him despite representing the total opposite of me, he just had that charm i suppose, his views are so hauntingly beautiful, idealistic, him representing hope, despite what he did, in the end he did what he could for himself and for his people IN MY HUMBLE ONION

eren yeager i'll always love you

i'm kinda scared what would happen to this fandom now, will it die now? Will it live? I doubt, I haven't even finished my eren fic and lol, either way i hope someone will still enjoy AOT, i hope still there will be new watchers.

This is long but this is just how I really feelt about AOT which I wholeheartedly do love and cherish with all the memories and the pain it gave.

Thank you Isayama for this world, for these characters, for these mindblowing revelations about war, life and freedom, for the heartaches and the joy.

Thank you WIT for raising AOT and truly breathing life to it, for garnering fans for it to be more appreciated.

Thank you MAPPA for continuing WIT's legacy, you are not the same but still delievered, thank you for carrying the final season and the fandom on your back, may you sleep well and have your deserved pay.

Thank you for the voice actors who breathed those memorable lines to be used in edits.

Thank you Linked Horizon for coming back, aot was iconic because of your openings.

Thank you AOT for everything.

[laurenkmyers]

i’m having a weird brain week

i’m gonna try and put it into words because i need to get whatever this feeling is off my chest somehow

but it feels like for the past week my head is like a watermelon with lots of rubber bands wrapped around it, and i’m on the precipice of total meltdown in the form of a messy explosion

i can’t concentrate on anything

my tinitus is rattling around in my brain on repeat and it keeps getting louder and more abnoxious the more i try and pretend its not there

my chest is so tight and my lungs are currently wheezing up a storm and no one actually knows what’s wrong with my chest and why i randomly wheeze at whatever time of the day for no particular reason because my chest is fine on all the scans but it’s actually not fine because why am i still wheezing

i try to read fanfic but i can’t see the words

i try to watch shows but i can’t hear the words

i want to go for a drive but i don’t want to drive without having a destination and fuck knows where i want to drive to

i want to leave the house and *do something* but the thought of leaving the house makes me want to cry because i don’t want to do it alone

and then comes the realisation that i don’t really have many *close* irl friends who i want to chill with because it’s all just surface level friendships because no one really knows me and the way i hyperfixate on certain things or shows or ships and sometimes that’s the only thing that makes me truly happy and when i do try and talk to my irl friends about it they listen without really listening or they try and indulge me without any real effort and it just makes me not want to talk to any of them about it because no one gets it or gets me

but even today my usual hyperfixations aren’t distracting enough to quiet my brain

so i’m endlessly scrolling on tiktok to try and fill the void that my usual media outlets aren’t quite hitting

i’m currently hyperfixating on RWARB content because it seems to be the only thing i can currently say i’m genuinely looking forward to but i’m also getting annoyed because it’s not here yet

it’s almost like i hit my peak (seeing my name on that big screen and everyone was saying how amazing it was and how proud they are of me) and i’m still trying to live off that high

but to go from that to now sitting alone in my room, unemployed again after losing my next big contract because of the strikes, strugging to find my next job because there is no work in my field, watching my barely even there to begin with savings dwindle away as bill after bill comes out but nothing is going in and that’s making me anxious as fuck but i’m also trying not to think about it because then i will have a breakdown and i can’t afford to have a breakdown because it won’t actually solve anything so i squash it at the back of my brain like the constant buzzing in my ears

i’ve applied for theatre job after theatre job, because its the only job i can think of off the top of my fuzzy head to apply for that would enjoy but also give the opportunity to be there short term and be flexible enough that if i was to find film/tv work i could plausibly do both

and i’m just kinda plodding along with the biggest fucking tension headache of my life that just won’t seem to quit and now i’m blurting about it on tumblr under a read more because what the fuck else am i going to do? be productive? pfft

[halorocks1214]

here's the list maker if you want it

unhinged rambling under read more

Not played Tier

Self-explanatory. I was either a fetus or non-existent when most of these came out, and B&W 2 and Platinum I just never got because I didn't realize they were a thing during my child era of life RIP

Same Gen Games but the not better one /lh Tier

Also self-explanatory. These are just the ones where the box art didn't hit for me like the other one did lmao. I did play Alpha Sapphire and Sun tho because I could afford them and wanted the version exclusive pokemon and had no friends :,)

It's aight Tier

Let's Go, Eevee!: I think it's a cute game with cute mechanics, but it is a Mainline+Pokemon GO mix so it's not gonna be the best in the series. It achieves what it was going for, ya know? I also... still need to properly finish it so WHOOPS

Scarlet Tier

Pokemon Scarlet: So, here's the thing -> The discussion around this game is a mess. I am just one gamer with a decade-long hyperfixation; I am aware I'm biased. However, I think if Game Freak was allowed the time to properly work on a new Mainline title this would have been my favorite. I see so many people say Game Freak as a whole is at fault for stuff when they really aren't, it's the crunching the Devs are being forced into. I can see that the Devs tried their best under their stressed workload, like, the whole thing about Tikatons killing Corvoknights so the taxi bird needed to be different!! There was no need for them to do that or have that detail, they could have easily reused Corvoknight taxies and saved time on making models, but they wanted to make a new game with new experiences and changed it up anyway. This game could have easily been one-of-a-kind, but Game Freak just doesn't seem to understand that people are willing to wait a few years, and that will always be the most disappointing aspect to me :(

I should have named this tier "Justice For Game Freak Devs" tbh

My "First" Game Tier

Weird flex but let me explain

Pokemon (Shining) Pearl: Gen 4 was my first genuine pokemon game, and since the remake is somewhat of a carbon copy I just put it here for prosperity. One thing I dislike about trying to play older games is just how freaken LONG save times are, so Shining Pearl is a big help in allowing me to experience the game that got me into the mess that is the pokemon series <3

Pokemon X: I like to think this was my first pokemon game that I could truly experience myself and not need my mom to help Google walkthroughs all the time. It is the Gen that kinda started dumbing down the gameplay to make it easier for kids, but eh, I was always the person that liked the characters/stories more, not the actual gameplay. I know, absolutely scandalous of me. Also, Mega Evolutions? BANGER IDEA and I hate that Game Freak's line of thought was "let's make new ideas sort of like Megas" instead of "let's make more Megas in the new games" >:[ (PS Fennekin best starter I don't make the rules)

Peak Gameplay Tier

Pokemon Moon: I considered Gen 7 my fave for a long time (not anymore which I will get into) because of how different everything was. No more HMs, the Trials were an awesome idea, the characters and stories SLAPPED. Plus, some of my favorite pokemon ever came out of this Gen, so yea. Game good

Pokemon Omega Ruby: X might be nostalgic for me but the Gen 3-makes are in all honesty better games. It had everything that made Gen 6 awesome and also a killer story along with it. It could also be that ORAS is fresher in my memory compared to X, but being able to ride on Latios; did you ever consider that?

BASED Tier

Pokemon Black: I did actually just start a new run-through of this game a few days ago (mainly in an attempt to get pokemon to eventually send to HOME before Bank closes, darn you nintendo for being dumb about ur old games), and maybe it's peer pressure, but Gen 5? Very good Gen :] Absolutely love the story and characters, the art is some of the best in terms of the era of 2D games, and I also have the faintest memory of experiencing euphoria at FINALLY. BEATING. GHETSIS. LORDT.

Pokemon Sword: LISTEN I completely understand why people rank this Gen so low, I get it, but trying to put this game lower just doesn't feel right personally. I love the Switch, so there could be some bias there in terms of this being the first Mainline game on the console, but it's also just because the characters/story hit my favorite tropes right dead center. Hop and Leon are still fucking incredible, also a lot of great pokemon that rank really high for me come frome here, and thanks to the anime I've come to appreciate the aesthetic that is dynamaxing and gigantimaxing. Plus the gym battle theme is the BIGGEST BOP OF ALL TIME. Always gets my adrenaline going like WOOOOOO

Legends Arceus: I always thought this game was amazing when I first played it, and when I recently went back to shiny hunt in it, I remembered even more why I like this game. It is such a fantastic direction to take the series in not only story but gameplay as well. Those boss fights were STELLAR. The Alpha Rapidash in the starting area was probably the first time a pokemon game made me feel genuine terror since like Gen 5. I sincerely hope Game Freak makes another Legends game and this wasn't a one-time thing. My hope is for either Raikou or Keldeo but the other ideas I've seen floating around aren't bad either ;)

Ultra. Tier

This is a product of me growing older if I'm to be real. When I first got Ultra Moon, I didn't really have too strong of feelings. I already was a big fan of Moon so my emotions piggybacked off of that. I like how the Trial bosses were different, Necrozma was pretty sick, but... really? Did this need to be an entirely new game? At full price? Why. Lusamine combining with the Ultra Beast was such a cool penultimate boss too, so while I like ultra Nebby and the location you fight it in as a concept, it's hard to beat a pokefied human, at least it was to teenage me (tho I still wish we could have fought her directly. That would have been even cooler lmao)

So, with that mess out of the way, I have to say that I am basic and Generation 8 is my favorite Gen over 7. Sword was such a fun title, the Pearl remake, while disappointing, is still a solid game plus I have nostalgia bias, and I don't need to repeat myself when it comes to Legends, do I? Gen 7 has what, games that would have been way better as DLCs and a Pokemon GO tie-in? In terms of main Mainline games, Moon is still in second place, but the surrounding games in the generation, unfortunately, made it switch spots with Sword :P

And there you have it, my arbitrary list of Pokemon games! :D Obligatory "this is my personal list and if you disagree you are valid and super cool" etc etc, also please play New Pokemon Snap that game is a blast and a half. Now I gotta go eat byeee

i got bored and decided to rank all the mainline pokemon games anyone want the list and an essay explaining my choices