#I am tipsy and it is time do you know why. Bc in the thing that I'm writing I'm destroy them.

[hajihiko]

Oh that said its prime time

to post

Oh uh I solidly used a pinterest ref yeah thats my shame also. I'll send it if u want but i dont have og artist cred.

[luveline]

hey love! first of all: i have to admit i started watching criminal minds for the first time earlier this year only bc of your spencer fics! can we get more stripper!reader and spencer? love your writing!!!

thank you!! It’s a slow routine. You begin in a crouch in your underwear, just like at the club. Chest to your knees, arms twisted with the backs of your hands touching. But, unlike at the club, this underwear is comfortable. There’s nobody watching, and you won’t make any tips. You don’t have a pole nor a stage. 

You run through the routine but forgo any pole tricks. You stretch for long, slow minutes, dancing from one space to another. The music in your head isn’t anything you’d play at home, but it works to keep time. You end on your knees again. 

It’s not fun. 

You stretch toward your phone and pick it up. Spencer’s texted you twice in the ten minutes you weren’t on it. 

Hi gorgeous, the first begins, do you want to sleep over? I can make you dinner. 

The second, Sorry, I don’t think I’ve ever called you gorgeous before, is that weird? Please come over and pretend I didn’t say that if it was weird

A third pops up while you’re reading. Can I come get you? 

You text him back with pleasure. He’s the only guy in your life who talks to you just to talk, without thinking he could fuck you if he says enough right things, even though he has fucked you. Hi babe you can call me anything it’s not weird, I’ll come over! Not working this week, maybe I can stay two days(?) let me know so I can pack enough clothes 

You can stay all week, if you want to. I miss you 

You imagine him holding his phone, his cheeks pink with blush. 

I miss you too, you text back. 

Just bring what you want to and we can work it out later

Working it out later could mean anything with Spencer. He’s silly enough to try and put you in his clothes, and generous enough to take you shopping if it saves the time it takes to drive you home. 

You’ve packed a bag of clothes and shower things when your phone rings. Spencer’s contact photo covers the whole screen, the two of you together with your face cut out, his smile wide. You were both a teeny bit tipsy. 

“Hello?” you answer, bringing the phone to your ear. 

“Hi!” He sounds nervous. “I’m outside. Am I gonna get towed?” 

“Not if you stay in the car. I’m on my way down right now.” 

“Okay, see you in a second,” he says. 

He never looks comfortable behind a steering wheel. You aren’t sure why he doesn’t sell his car, maybe because it’s dirt cheap to maintain. He never seems happy to be driving is all. 

He smiles when you approach his door, which is better. He rolls down the window. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. You bend at the knees to see him better. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I had a weird feeling about you, like you weren’t alright.” 

You lean down further. “I’m okay.” 

He grins. You’re waiting for a kiss he doesn’t give, finding yourself a subject for his staring, completely still as his gaze follows around your face. He makes no move to kiss you, and for a moment insecurity blossoms. 

“Well, you look okay. Are you getting in? It’s cold,” he says, nodding toward the passenger side.

“No help with my bags?” you ask, closing the door when he tries to open it. “Kidding.” 

You round the hood and climb inside. Then Spencer kisses you, polite but emphatic, one on your lips and another just under your jaw as he squeezes your shoulder. You feed into them lovingly.

“Maybe you can stay at my place forever? That way I can stop missing you all the time,” he says, pulling away slowly. 

“And when the mystery is gone?” you ask. 

“I don’t want mystery with you.” 

Spencer takes your bag from your lap and shoves it into the back seat. You drop the smaller one on your shoes. 

“Do you wanna get pizza or something?” he asks. 

You hold your jaw where he’d kissed you. “Sure,” you say, tingles of his kiss lingering under your hand. 

“Or Chinese? What do you want?” 

You want more kisses, but you love that he always gives you options. “Pizza for sure. Curly fries, too. Hold my hand?” 

Spencer takes it with gusto over the gearstick, and whatever felt like it was missing earlier fills itself in. “Wait,” you say softly, before he can take the car out of park, “just…” You grab his side and drag him toward you for a hug. Holding hands wasn’t gonna be enough —Spencer doesn’t know it yet, but you love him, love how safe he makes you feel, love how fun he makes your life. You can be yourself with him, no matter who that really is.

Spencer holds you, his hand across your shoulder blade rubbing soft lines. 

[pintrestgrl]

loved your bsf!jj drabble!!!!! maybe a little drunken love confession from bsf!jj … and reader thinks its lowkey too good to be true bc she’s been yearning forever… but when they both sober up jj is like !!! i meant wtf i said !

hi i wrote this and then it completely disappeared. sigh. also im sorry if this is bad, i was half asleep bc i spent forever writing it the first time.

also i’m sorry for being inactive yesterday i was so so stressed nd had cramps and was dying… but hi !! hope u like this anon 🥹

note: after writing this, i rlly don’t like it. but i pray u guys do 😞

drunk!bsf!jj x pogue!reader.

“here, drink this.”

you spoke, shoving a glass of water into jj’s chest, sitting down next to him on the couch of the chateau.

he was clearly very wasted, and you were only a slight bit tipsy.

you two had both went out to the boneyard together, the rest of the group out doing god knows what.

he rambled on about not wanting to drink it, before giving in and chugging the clear liquid.

“thank god, you’re annoying when you’re drunk.”

“no, ‘m not. you are.”

“at least i’m not sloppy wasted, unlike somebody.”

“whatever. guilty by association.”

he spoke, slurring his words and laughing drunkenly.

“i’m not associated with you, you wish.”

“you’re my bestfriend, of course you are.”

he spoke, rolling his eyes amused at your denying.

you managed to let out a fake chuckle, silently cringing inside as he called you that. were you really only his ‘friend’ to him?

you wished to be so much more, and he had no idea whatsoever.

you were snapped out of your thoughts by his voice, drunkenly rambling again.

“thanks for the water. that was like, kinda sweet.”

“sweet?” you question, laughing as you furrowed your brows.

“yeah. you’re a sweet girl, i swear.”

you opened your mouth to protest, before being interrupted before you got the chance.

“you’re kinda pretty too.”

you froze at his words.

pretty?

that’s the last word you thought jj would use to describe you; at least to your face.

“what?”

“actually, no. you are pretty. very pretty.”

“jj, you’re drunk.”

“yeah, i am. and you’re pretty. probably beautiful if i could think right now.”

“you don’t mean that.”

“no, i do. i definitely do. i don’t know why you don’t have a boyfriend. or why i’m too dumb to ask you out.”

you were completely baffled at this point, trying to find any truth in his words. and to your surprise, he sounded genuine. drunk, but genuine.

you had liked him forever, and this was the most he’d ever showed any reciprocation.

you were always too scared to say anything, afraid of his rejection and what it would do to your friendship.

so, you opted for having some of him, rather then none at all.

“do you even understand a word you’re saying?”

you spoke, desperately needing to know if he was just drunkenly saying bullshit, or revealing the truth of how he felt.

“yeah, i do. you’re a sweet girl who is too pretty to not have a boyfriend. i mean, god. your face is perfect.”

“jj, shut up. stop.”

“no, you shut up. let me talk. i think i like you.”

“i’d hope so, considering i’m your bestfriend.”

“no, no. like actually like you. like seriously.”

you desperately were trying to deny his words, convincing yourself this was a dream and you needed to wake up.

“you think you like me?”

“no, i actually know i do. like a lot.

“jay, you’re joking.”

he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“can you let me be serious about one thing in my life? i mean, god. i’m not joking. i’m serious. serious about this, about you.”

you could tell he was probably getting agitated the way you kept denying him, the way his mood shifted from amusedly drunk, to pissed off.

“why don’t you sleep the ‘liking me’ off, yeah?”

it took a while, but you convinced him to just go to bed. and as he layed in the next room over, you couldn’t get over his words.

was he trying to get in your pants because he was wasted, or was he serious about liking you?

you knew the thought would keep you up all night if you let it, so you decided to drop it from your brain, drifting off to a light sleep.

next morning

————————————————

you woke up groggily, a slight hangover lingering on your body. once you registered everything, you decided to go to the room next door, consisting of a likely just as hungover jj.

you opened the door, sitting on john b’s his bed, silently shaking him awake.

you knew he’d probably get all mad, but you needed him to help you clear the lingering thought in your head.

he groaned, mumbling a sleepy short sentence.

“what do you need?”

“can we talk?”

“speak or forever hold your peace, stupid.”

you rolled your eyes at his tired insult, reluctantly continuing with your words.

“uh— last night, you told me some stuff. like that you liked me, thought i was pretty and stuff. were you serious?”

he shot up as the words spilled out, immediately sitting against the headboard.

“i told you that?”

“yeah, you did.”

“shit— um, well yeah. kinda. in a way.”

“kinda?”

“no. not kinda.”

he said, rubbing a hand over his face.

he spoke again, sounding embarrassed.

“yes. i did. i meant it. every word. ‘m sorry. i didn’t mean to— jesus, fuck.”

“no, it’s fine, uh— i ‘kinda’ like you too.”

you said, letting the words come out before you thought about their weight.

“kinda? you’re serious?”

“yes, i’m serious. and not kinda, i didn’t mean that. i like you a lot.”

“shut up.”

“i’m serious, i do.”

“well, why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

“i don’t know. i was nervous.”

a silence filled the room, not awkward. just waiting for someone to figure out the right thing to say.

finally, jj spoke.

“uh— i’m like really hungover.”

you rolled your eyes at the subject change, finding it just like him to do something like that.

“that’s what your gonna say?”

“no, fuck—sorry. can you just sleep in here with me so i can think straight after?”

“you could’ve just said that.”

“well, i just did, didn’t i?”

“i guess. and yeah, i can. scoot over.”

he awkwardly listened to your demand, not used to the feeling of you knowing about his thoughts of you.

you both fell unconscious soon after, unknowingly shiftinging your bodies closer as you slept.

you slept for another hour or two, limbs tangled and intertwined together as your mind tried to decipher if this was a dream, or if your head was really resting on your bestfriends chest.

[nisuna]

Hiii, Helloooo. I'm back :^)

I've made a separate post about how much this idea means to me, and I hope I did it justice. This is like my baby, one of the very first scenarios I've ever thought of. Something that motivated me to start writing in the first place and made me want to share my writing at all, so yeaaahh, please be gentle♡. I've made a detailed post about it, so feel free to check that one out here.

The gist of it is: It all happened one evening when your best friend came to pick you up from a party for the first time, being tipsy and sexually frustrated one thing led to another and you slept together and from then on it kind of became your guys' thing

You refuse to call him by his first name, but he'd really like you to. Even worse, you even add -san to his last name whenever you're tipsy

Oh, and no kissing, bcs that's too intimate am I right ha ha

What's the worst that could happen this time?

he miiiighhtt make you call him by his first name and maybe just maybe you do finally kiss???! who knows hahaaa

Without further ado Fwb!Suguru x f!reader, let's gooooo

<3masterlist<3

~2,4k words~ Strictly 18+ MDNI

TW: fwb!suguru x f!reader, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, cream pie, marking, biting, hickeys, multiple positions, get fucked stupid, first times, teasing, dirty talk, tit sucking, nipple play, multiple rounds, leg humping, so much happening did I miss anything?? lmk xoxo

He never understood why you liked going out to the most shabby and stuffed clubs. It reeked of alcohol and smoke mixed with all kinds of bodily fluids. As he was making his way through the dancing crowd of sweaty people grinding against each other, he finally found you sitting at the bar while some guy was leaning in your direction way too close for comfort.

He had his usual fit, hair half up with a black over sized sweater and loose black joggers. Making him look so huge that if there were any guys bothering you, they would leave you alone as soon as they saw him.

"Yo~ y/n", he touched your exposed shoulder and gave you his signature eye smile, before staring down the guy next to you that was trying to get in your pants or in this context in ypur skimpy little dress. The guys' annoyed look turned into a worried one after seeing who he was up against.

"Aahhh Geto-saannn you're here early" you mused, leaning against his hard chest. That damn honorific, he cursed but still managed to squeeze out a smile.

"Haha "-san", so you aren't her boyfriend then." the stranger snarled but soon gave up as Suguru raised an eyebrow at him and snapped a "watch it". "Alright, alright, I give up", he put his hands up in defeat. "Maybe next time, sweetcheeks."

As soon as the guy left, Suguru took both of your hands in his and knelt down in front of you. "Y/n we've talked about this. If you don't want to call me Suguru, at least drop the honorific. We've known each other for years now, don't you think it's about time. Also, don't you think it's weird when you call the guy you fuck by his last name, hm?" He turned his head looking at you expectedly.

"But Geto-saaaan-"

"Ah ah, what did I just tell you"

"Okay, okay, Geto" you huffed, "You know I'm not comfortable with that", you whined, squeezing his hands.

"I just want to hear you say it at least once. Say it and I'll fuck you real good tonight.", he smirked.

You considered it, after a hard week you really needed a good fuck. "Sugu-", is all you could manage before snapping your head away, "Nope can't do it."

He let his head drop with a loud sigh. "It's alright, I was just pushing my luck. C'mon, let's get you out of here." And with that, he rose back to his full height, grabbed your hand, and pulled you from the bar stool. While making your way through the crowd and to his car, your thoughts kept wandering.

Suguru... that's such a pretty name.

The car ride was mostly quiet, but as soon as you stepped inside his apartment, you were shoved against the closest wall and found yourself underneath him soon after.

"What's up with you today? If you keep squeezing me that hard, you might actually snap my dick off.", he chuckled. He's way too cocky. You have to do something about that.

"Have I ever told you how annoying you can be. If you don't stop talking, I think I might have to shut that mouth of yours up myself.", you whispered, putting your hands on his cheeks and pulling his face close so that it was right in front of yours.

His usually narrow eyes were blown wide open, his hips stopped moving and you became uncomfortably aware how close you two were right now. So, instead of the kiss he was so desperately awaiting, you opted for blowing on his lips and hugging him close.

"Just kidding.", you hid yourself deeper in the crook of his neck. However, when there was no remark coming from him, you pulled away to look at his blank face.

"Sorry I didn't-"

"You're really cruel, you know that", you felt goosebumps rise as he whispered against your neck. "It's payback time."

Before you could react, he pulled out, latched his mouth onto your neck and began sucking.

"Wait, ah- you're gonna leave a mark.", in a futile attempt, you raised your hands to try and push him away, only to have your hands pinned next to your head.

"If I can't have your lips, I'll take everything else.", he pulled away to take a look at you. "Tell me if you're uncomfortable."

Nod.

In between licks from your neck down to your breasts, he encouraged you to touch yourself. "Want you to cum from me playing with your nipples.", he smiled, oh so sweetly, while rolling the hardened nubs between his fingers.

Cheeky bastard, but you would lie if you said that he wasn't pushing all the right buttons right now. So your hand made its way down between your legs while you rubbed yourself in sync with his twisting and sucking.

"What happened? You're awfully quiet? Cat got your tongue?" and before you could snap back at him, he dared to smirk and pulled on your nipples making you moan.

"Fuck, stop teasing.", you whined.

"Say my name and I'll make you cum myself" he whispered after pulling himself off of you with an obnoxious pop. "What do you say? Good deal right?", he mused while kissing the skin between your breasts up your neck and to your ear. His hot breath kept hitting you as you arched your back off the bed, but to no surprise you remained silent.

"So stubborn for no reason", he shook his head in disappointment. "Then you better work for it yourself."

He really made you work for it. You always came so quickly when it was his fingers rubbing your clit, when it was his long and thick finger dipping into your dripping heat from time to time. Once you go Geto you never go back huh. Your fingers just didn't cut it anymore, so it took a lot of sucking and encouragement from him for you to tip over the edge with a silent scream of his last name.

He kissed your sensitive skin through it as you desperately clung onto him.

"Good job.", he grinned with a kiss to your cheek.

"Shut up.."

"Aww, don't be like that, c'mere", he mused, pulling you onto his lap. You let yourself fall forward against his sweaty chest as you tried to catch your breath. In your delirious state, you kept nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck, giving him a few cheeky bites, smoothing the area over with your tongue afterwards.

When you deemed him marked up enough, you pressed your forehead against his. As you were staring into each other, you mumbled, "Now we're matching."

"How cute. You're so kind, thanks."

You basked in eachothers warm embraces, breathing in each other until your hips grew impatient and started to grind against him.

'Someone's in a hurry, huh?", he quirked an eyebrow at you. You shrugged and whispered into his ear. "Gotta take care of you, too."

He expected you to go slow, but to his surprise you took a hold of his cock and slammed your hips way down meeting him in an instant.

"Whoa slow down you're gonna hurt yourself ah-" he looked at you in disbelief, "Is it okay? Does it hurt?"

You took a few deep breaths before continuing with overflowing confidence, "No, it feels really good. I can feel you all the way up here", you smiled, leaning back and tracing your fingers from your pubic bone to just over your belly button.

"Fuck, you can't just say those things out of the blue" he mumbled sitting up, finally starting to pound into you from below.

"That's what did it, huh?" you chuckled, arching your back and clawing at his shoulders. "How naïve, men are so simple." you kept that thought to yourself, tho.

As he kept bouncing you up and down you felt yourself go stupid on his cock. Each thrust was hitting your sweet spot just right and the stretch was to die for. You couldn't keep your voice down.

It didn't help in the slightest that he was playing with your breasts all throughout his mean thrusts. You went especially crazy when he fondled the fat of your ass and spanked the reddening flesh in between thrusts. As he felt himself get close he snuck a hand between your bodies to rub your throbbing clit. Your mewls and loud moans, slowly but surely pushed him over the edge.

He had to hold down your squirming hips as your breath hitched with the intensity of your orgasm and with how deep you were feeling him right now. He pulled you off of him and hugged you close, trying to calm you down.

"Shh, I got you, calm down you did so good", with a kiss to the top of your hair, you felt yourself relax. But that relaxation didn't last long, as you started to desperately grind against his leg. With your ass rubbing against his cock so perfectly he just couldn't help himself.

"Fuck, I'm hard again.", he admitted matter-of-factly.

"Then keep going. Give it to me until I pass out."

"Shit, you little minx." he cursed in his head but eventually gave in.

"Y/n?"

"Hmm?"

"Turn around for me."

You reluctantly got off his lap and got ready, face down ass up.

He really wanted to take you like this, but curiosity got the best of him.

"Fuck that" he thought as he flipped you and pulled your back flush against his chest, sitting down. After hooking his hands under your knees, he he picked up his pace as his hungry mouth ravaged your already sensitive neck.

"Feel good, yeah?", was the last thing you heard before he wrapped his huge hand around your neck.

Your mind went fuzzy as his hand was skillfully restricting your airflow from time to time. Which is exactly why you didn't register the next few words that tumbled from your mouth.

"Kiss me."

You made him stop dead in his tracks.

"What did you just say?", he had to make sure he heard you right.

Your hand was already at his nape, pulling him close.

"Kiss me..."

"Kiss me...", he gulped, "Who?", he was pushing his luck, and his heart rate picked up, afraid he might've pushed you too far. But the gamble paid off as he heard the words leave your mouth, that he had been waiting to hear from the moment he set his eyes on you.

"Kiss me, Suguru."

He wasted no time as he grabbed your jaw and smashed his lips against yours. It was so messy, so so nasty, teeth clashing against each other, but it was everything he could've ever wished for. He was on cloud nine. It was embarrassing how excited he got from just kissing you, but he couldn't care less at this moment. Your mouth fell open as you felt him spill inside of you. His tongue dipped into your awaiting mouth, while he fucked you through his second high.

He had to catch his breath while holding your limp form. He was sure you needed a break but when he tried to pull you off of his sensitive cock you stopped him. "Wait", you mumbled against his lips. "Don't pull out. Keep fucking me. Hurry up." How could he say no to you, even if he felt like he was about to die from overstimulation, he couldn't possibly deny you.

Which is how you ended up on your side, leg held up by his strong arm as he pounded into you from behind. Your sweet moans had him riled up impossibly more as his hips went to town on your pliable body. Even in this position, his eager mouth never left yours. The fat of your tummy and thighs kept jiggling so deliciously with each thrust that he just couldn't get enough of you. He soon felt you tighten around him and knew you were close, so he spurred you on.

"You feel so good like this, god you're so tight. Shit. About to cum?"

"Yeah, feels so good."

"Who makes you feel this good?"

"You do, Suguru. I love this so much. My god I'm gonna cum again."

"Yeah, yeah good, cum on my cock."

With a few delicate swipes of your fingers over your nub, your back arched as you came all over him. And he was there to swallow all of your moans with his greedy mouth.

When the heat of the moment subsided, you were a huffing and puffing mess. He held you close throughout and rubbed your lower back reassuringly.

After a while you were the first to break the silence.

"Holy shit, best sex we've had so far."

"Can't agree more.", he kissed your lips and continued. " Sooo, I assume you won't be calling me Geto anymore, right?"

You turned your head avoiding eye contact, but he stopped you, squishing your cheeks to look at him and raising an eyebrow. " Riiight, y/n? What's my name from now on? C'mon, don't break my heart."

"Suguruuuu....", you trailed off, but before he could celebrate, you quickly added, "-san.."

"Aah, so close", he chuckled, disappointment evident in his voice. "But it's a good start, so I'll take it.", he said truthfully, squeezing you tight. It was a huge step for your relationship. He was incredibly happy. He will make you drop the honorific no matter what. Now that he's got a taste, he will never let you go. Heck, he might even ask you out now that you're on a first name basis.

But he won't rush things. He's more than content with the current development of your relationship. You've come a long way, and only time will tell what it'll evolve into. The only thing he cares about right now is making you call his name over and over again, in one way or another. Life is good.

-----

I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this 🙆🏻‍♀️❤️ Please let me know your thoughts. See ya next time<3

[oneforthemunny]

evieeeee i’m not sure if this has been asked before but i was just curious — how would the different eddies react to reader dropping the L bomb first, and who among them do you think would actually drop it first? ahhh sorry i’m just in a fluffy and silly mood <333

ooh ok let me think.

edited bc no fucking way i forgot rockstar!eddie

for the eddies who would say i love you first:

modern!eddie says it balls deep inside of you bc that's who he is. also very early on. just can't help it. he's sure he's found his soulmate after the first date and it just comes out when he's fucking you.

bouncer!eddie too. i feel like he'd be a little drunk, a little flirty, and you say something that makes him giggle and he's just like "i fuckin' love you" "what?" "nothing..." he didn't mean to say it really, not them anyways, but he can't help that he did.

mafia!eddie is definitely saying it first, though i feel his is in the heat of a fight or a tense moment. maybe something similar to the fight in the struggles we face. where you're mad he's always just missing stuff and doesn't tell you and you get scared. maybe a retaliation where you ignore him and it goes wrong. heat of the fight, he just blurts out, "i care where you're fucking at because i want to keep you safe. i love you and i want you to be safe."

hockey!eddie says it first. literally just nonchalantly one day is like "no i love you so much" and it's kinda shocking but also very on brand for him and very sweet.

i mentioned boxer!eddie is very possessive and so is reader, so i think he says it first but under circumstances similar to her accusing him of cheating. "why the fuck would i look at someone else? why am i lookin'? i'm not. i'm only looking at you. i only love you." because let's be real, she would never say it lol, so he has to first.

as for the reader who would say it first:

cowboy!eddie's sweet girl would say it first. a little tipsy, when they were more established and steady, but they both just hadn't said it. eddie didn't think he needed to, he just assumed you knew, and you were always a little scared to say it first. until he took you to the bar and you're just dopey and hugging all over him and it slips. he'd just grin, kiss the corner of your mouth, mutter a "love you too, baby." to your skin.

teacher!reader said it first with janitor!eddie because truly, he's so fucking scared to say it on his own. like shaking almost. and she can tell he really wants to. he'll start and then it's like his words are strangled completely. so eventually she's like fuck it, and says it to him.

older!eddie did not say it first, kinda for similar reasons as janitor!eddie, but he's also very uneasy about how to navigate a relationship period but especially one with someone younger. he doesn't want to scare you off, so he shows it more than says it. until one day you've just had it, and you say it. "you know i love you, right? like i really do love you, and i want this to be a thing for a long long time." and he's over the moon about it.

dom!eddie also does not say it for the first time, which is not all that surprising. i feel like it would be during a vulnerable moment, maybe after sex and you're just a little hazy. he's being extra sweet and it just slips. he'd just smile, not make a huge deal out of it, "yeah? love you too."

nepo baby!reader says it first to rockstar!eddie, which really is shocking. when they start getting closer, it just kinda comes out. is supposed to be backhanded and mean, but kinda falls short. "i mean, obviously i love you. i wouldn't be with someone like you if i didn't. do you know how this is going to fuck my reputation?" and eddie can't even get mad at the insult bc you just said you loved him?? him???

[cryptic--writing]

pls anything with load era james IM BEGGING YOU

hihi!!

thanks for the request! please be specific next time! I don't know what you want, so please give me at least a genre or scenario!!

anyways, its an angst fic bc I didn't know what else to do

warnings: drinking, swearing, one line that sounds sucicidal but isn't, possible break up, arguing, angst in general

word count: 2,440

LOSING YOU (1996)

I sat in the cold, empty hotel, sitting on the bed and just staring at the wall, trying to process everything that's been going on.

The last few months in James and I’s relationship have been pure hell. Nothing was going right with us, it felt like there was no more caring, passion, or even love. 

These months James has been on tour, and I decided to join him for a few of the dates, tired of spending months alone in our apartment, the quietness and deadness of it all seemed odd. I always enjoyed James’ presence, and I had gone out on tour with him before, but this time was, way, way different. Normally, he comes back somewhat drunk, not fully wasted since I was there, but he was tipsy. Now, he would come up at 3 am, drunk off his ass, and be all weird to me. He’d ignore me completely unless he had needs he wanted me to fulfill.

But lately, for at least the last 15 shows or so, he would just come in drunk, push my hands away from him, and wouldn't let me cuddle up with him, which was very not like him, as he was one who valued personal time, but perhaps his priorities have changed.

I sighed, hearing the doorknob of the hotel rattle, it was locked, and I slowly trudged towards the door, a small hope begging that James was sober, and just wanted to love me. I cracked the door open, seeing James swaying slightly as I opened the door fully to let him in, and oh how he reeked of beer. I moved so he could get in, and he stumbled in, not even greeting me.

“Hi,” I said coldly with a scoff, shutting the door. I watched as he shuffled to the bed, falling on it with a groan.

“Why are you always.. Such a bitch..?” He slurred out, and I felt my heart drop, my stomach twisted into a knot. We had argued plenty of times, name called even, but he never called me a bitch. 

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” I said, more of a statement than a question, my voice shaking slightly. He was drunk, he must not meant it.

“Youre.. You're a bitch..” He slurred out at me again, which stung again. We had been together for almost 6 years, and he had never lashed out at me, not like this.

I scoffed, my hurt and sadness only coming out as anger, “What is your problem? You haven't wanted to be around me at all, for weeks. You're always drunk, and you never hug me, kiss me, talk to me, hold me, anything that we used to do.” I stated coldly at him, though I doubted the words really registered in his mind.

James just groaned, “God, all you do is whine and complain.. Just shut up for once..” He grumbled out, and it hurt me, bad.

I shook my head, grabbing my coat and wallet before walking towards the hotel room door, “I’ll talk to you once you're sober.” I called out into the room, though I doubt he understood me as I slammed the door, storming out of the hotel and walking out into the street, the cold air nipping my skin harshly.

My outfit wasn't very warm, just my sleep shorts and one of James’ old band shirts, along with my jacket. I hated the shirt I was wearing, he was the last thing I wanted to be reminded of, though It brought me some slight comfort, smelling him on it and feeling that he was still with me somewhat, even if not truly or emotionally.

I walked for about twenty minutes until I found another hotel, booking a room for the night as I felt the cold air melt off of me, the warm hotel air swaddling me in a way. I sighed, slowly approaching the front desk, the receptionist glancing up at me from her computer screen.

She was quick to take in my rushed state, clearly here on a whim. “How can I help you?” She said, her voice tired. It was so late, I didn't blame her. I read the name on her nametag, Laurice. A name I hadn't ever heard before.

“Can I get a room, just for the night please?” I said, my voice shaking a bit, my mind still hazed from the argument.

Laurice nodded, typing on her keyboard for a few moments before glancing back up at me. “Alright, we can get you in room 247 on floor 3 for $67.48. Will that be cash or card?” 

I sighed, grabbing my wallet out of my pocket, “Uhm, cash,” I mumbled, digging out a fifty-dollar bill and a twenty.

Laurcie grabbed my money, giving me my change as she handed me my hotel key, “Enjoy your stay, you check out at two pm tomorrow.” She informed me briefly before sitting back down behind the desk, and I took the key, walking away.

I walked slowly into the elevator, the empty, compact steel room making me feel horridly uncomfortable. The silence, the only noise was the rutting hum of the elevator moving up towards floor three, until the sudden jolt and stop, the elevator dining and opening.

I quickly walked out, wandering around the vacant halls until I found my room, unlocking the door with my key, stepping in and shutting it, and locking it behind me. Standing there for a moment, the events of the night replaying in my mind, everything finally hitting me, hard. I stumbled towards the bed, beginning to sob. All my emotions and hurt finally spilled over from the last weeks, of being ignored, pushed away, insulted, and yelled at. All I needed was someone to hold me, love me, and comfort me. This was a life I didn't want to live. Maybe even after all of these years with James, the ‘honeymoon phase’ has ended. Maybe he was right, that I couldn't handle dating a rockstar like him.

How could things fall apart in such an instant? One day we were perfect, happy as can be, discussing our future, even marriage or children. I clutched my stomach, feeling nauseous at all of these emotions. I brought the large shirt up to my nostrils, inhaling his familiar scent.

I hadn't been alone to process a breakdown like this in years, James wasn't here to hold me, tell me it would all be alright and that he loved me, but now I questioned if any of that was true. Everything had fallen apart around me, I was alone, in a different place from where we lived, sobbing in a hotel room.

Eventually, I cried myself to sleep, the half-empty bed making me feel so odd, so unnatural. Sleeping without him holding me as I curl up to him is so wrong. I have grown so dependent on him, yet he seems like he could use less of me.

IN THE MORNING

I woke up groggily, my body instinctively searching for his warmth, though finding none. Last night memories flooded back to me. Now realisation hit me. I looked at the clock, the red pixels gleaming 1:34 PM. I had slept in so late, and by now James was either sober and hungover, or drunk off his ass again. Maybe he skipped town and left with the band to go to their next gig early.

They were done with the shows in this city, and the private plane would be leaving tomorrow at noon. My list of choices was small, either not leave the city, fly home, show up to the private plane unannounced, or make amends.

This shouldn't be so hard for me to get over, it was just a drunken spat, but he has been neglectful towards me for weeks. Was there anyone else I could find to even possibly replace him?

The man who had held me during so many nights, made me smile, made m laugh, and made me feel like the most important and loved person in the world, now made me feel like a piece of shit he stepped in, it was like all we had has vanished.

He would push me aside when I tried to hug him, wipe my kiss stains from his cheek, shrug off my questions, and keep me distant. I would try to cuddle up to him in bed, and he would just move further away from me until he was against the wall, then he would tell me to “give him some space”.

If anything, I have to settle down to what we have become with him. I had to check out if this hotel was in.. Fuck, twenty minutes. I didn't have much or anything to grab, but I would have nowhere else to go except for the hotel James was at. I had to speak to him, either to fix things or end them.

I sighed, quickly fixing the bed and grabbing my wallet, checking out of the hotel and trying to remember the way back to where James and the rest of the band were staying. I wasn't sure which street I walked up or down, where I turned left or right. This would be very, very difficult.

After wandering around for thirty minutes, I finally reached the hotel. I stood in front of the door for what felt like an hour, but I quickly walked in, though was surprised to see James’ bandmate, Kirk, in the lobby of the hotel, talking with a man who I didn't recognize, though I assumed he was a fan. I slowly approached him, tapping him on the shoulder and he quickly turned his head back, recognizing me.

“Hey, do you know-” My words were mumbled and hushed, though that didn't matter as Kirk quickly interrupted me.

“Hey! Where the hell have you been? We were all gonna go to breakfast but James said he couldn't find you or something, is everything ok?” Kirk spoke quickly, his words filled with confusion and relief.

I sighed, “Yeah, everything is fine, where's James?” I glanced around the lobby, hoping to see him maybe.

Kirk nodded, “He's in his room, probably waiting for you,” He responded, and I nodded, already walking away.

“Thanks, Kirk,” I called back to him, already down the hallway and getting into the elevator, headed for the 6th floor where we stayed. The elevator hummed, gradually bringing me to my desired floor with a ding, the doors opened and I walked down the hallway, each step feeling like I was walking a thousand miles, even though the door to our room was probably no more than twenty feet away.

I now stood in front of the door, collecting myself and taking a deep breath before opening the door, seeing James standing in the hotel, on the phone with someone. He turned around when he heard me opening the door, his face turning relieved, setting down the phone and giving his full attention to me in what felt like years.

“Where the fuck have you been?” He asked with a scoff, he wasn't mad, or at least he didn't seem mad, just concerned.

I sighed, “Away. Do you remember anything from last night?”

James rubbed his forehead, “I.. no, not really, we did our show, and then everything blurry after that. Did something happen?”

I shrugged, still standing in the doorway, finally shutting the door, “Yeah, I guess. We need to talk.”

James grew more concerned, his face showing the thousands of thoughts running through his head. “Ok, uhm, sure, is everything okay?”

“I don't know.”

“What is that supposed to mean? What happened?” James began to sound more irritated, though still worried and confused.

“I want to know what happened too,” I stated, so lost that he couldn't even pinpoint why or how I was hurting.

“Enough of these bullshit games, the hell is up with you?” He seemed to only grow irritated with me.

I sighed, now I was getting annoyed with him. “No, what the hell is up with you? This is the first time you've tried to talk to me, in like, a week. You avoid me, you push me away, you won't kiss me, you won't even look at me! I have been neglected and ignored by you for weeks. Ever since this tour started, I have been your last priority.” I finally said, my words heavy yet rushed with emotion.

James was silent, he couldn't think of anything to say. He knew that I was right, but would he ever admit it? He sat on the bed, sighing, looking at the floor, and refusing to make eye contact with me.

The silence went on for about a minute, and I was losing my patience, “Are you gonna say anything or just..?” I finally muttered, growing tired of being ignored by him.

James shook his head, shrugging a bit. “I.. I don't know, I'm sorry, I never meant to be or tried to be cold to you, it's just.. I get like this on tour, y’know?” He mumbled, clearly digging for an excuse.

I scoffed, “But you have time to get drunk, party and fool around with other women?”

James just looked defeated, he didn't want to argue. “I'm sorry, ok? I don't know what to say.. Just, c’mere?” His voice was soft, tired.

I was hesitant, I didn't know why he wanted me to go to him, but I did, slowly walking towards him on the bed, and sitting down next to him. He laid his head against my shoulder, something I had missed, his touch. I didn't know what to say, or really what to do.

“I love you..” James mumbled to me softly, but I wasn't sure if he was truthful. I wanted to ask him if he really did because it never seemed like it anymore, but I knew better and to hold my tongue.

I sighed, my eyes on him, “I love you too..” I muttered in response. My words were true, I did love him, but did he? That's what I wasn't sure of.

“I'll change, ok? I won't drink as much, I won't be out as late after shows.. I won't ignore you anymore. That's a promise.” James swore to me, and I had no choice but to take his word for it, and to believe him.

“I hope that stays true,” I replied in a soft, slightly shaky tone as I let out a shaky sigh, possibly beginning a new stage of our relationship.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sorry if this isn't too good! I also just had it sitting around for a week and I wanna move on to another idea I had

[userarmand]

so since you watched Portofino and I'm currently going through season 2 (I'm on episode 3) (please don't ask why, the pull that man has on me is truly unfathomable, my dick has led me places etc etc ANYWAY) and I need to talk to someone about it bc I feel like I'm going a bit insane, so I thought I could ask your thoughts on this.

so like, season 1 wasn't like... good... right? like we're all aware of that and I'm fully aware the entire series is built on what I'm gonna call at best shoddily constructed narrative cohesion and probably can't be watched without a huge amount of suspension of disbelief, but I simply can't believe they let this insane mess of a storyline just go to production like that. WHY are these people letting a pacifist doctor join in on the assassination??? WHY is Gianluca suddenly so gungho about Nish either joining in his resistance fight OR straight up leaving him for Lucian??? WHAT IS HAPPENING in that goddamn group of resistance fighters??? IS it a group or are those just four guys who don't have anything better to do??? WHY IS THE WEAPON OF CHOICE A HAND GRENADE?? again WHY ARE WE LETTING THE PACIFIST BE PART OF THIS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, VIOLENT SITUATION?? you don't bring someone to the shooting range unless you KNOW he can pull the trigger!! he's a DOCTOR, he's the guy that stays behind so that when you guys come back from trying to beat up fascist there is someone there who knows how to patch you up!!!

and worse than all of that!!! is that I can't believe they couldn't come up with something better to put Nish out of commission than this bullshit bit of conflict that they literally fabricated out of thin air!!!

also, there is one glaring continuity error during the first scene in Turin where Nish and Gian have their 'fight' about the letter, when Nish comes in from the balcony where he wears his glasses on the balcony and then three seconds later they're nowhere to be seen. which isn't the worst thing in the world, but MAN if that doesn't summarize how invested they were in this goddamn storyline, I don't know what does.

okay, sorry for that, I'm a bit tipsy, anyway: man this shit sucks, but the worst part of all of it is truly that there are like... TRACES of a reasonably interesting story scattered across the show, but every time I think they're getting close to actually properly engaging with one of them they do a hard left and someone commits a micro aggression.

jesus fuck, this show is awful. that said I AM writing a fix it fic, which is less fix-it and more 'let's try and make this less stupid'-fic

anyway sorry for this, I... am going back to watching...

gianluca definitely didn't know what he was doing but idk if that was intentional on the writer’s part or not. his little anarchist faction was very much in its infancy considering it was literally just him, his two mates, and his extremely reluctant boyfriend. gian knew that nish's heart wasn't it, knew he didn't like conflict, literally said that's why he loved him, but basically pouted about it until nish agreed to join, at no point acknowledging the added danger nish was in as an indian national. neat.

so here we are with gian and his merry band of mugs who instead of digesting any actual communist or socialist theory, decide that blowing up some rando fascist would make any sort of difference in mussolini’s italy. nish had to be directly involved in the grenade shit so he'd get injured which would put him back in lucian’s orbit and reconnect him to the 'main' plot in portofino. the show wasn't wiling to delve fully into what exactly gian and the resistance movement were trying to achieve outside of individual terrorism so that storyline didn't really result in anything beyond establishing that fascism = bad, which, yeah we know :/

also i don't disagree that they were half-assing things but regarding the continuity of nish's glasses: he takes them off when the camera's on gian lol u can see them in his hand

[bi-dykes]

MAAAARIIIIII

I need your help.

Ok so, How to write?

I told you that I write, right? Well actually I didn't write them properly. I wrote them in screenplay format.. Now I want to write them properly but I don't know how 😭😭 my mind is blank.. Even when I manage to think up on how to write, it's so shit.. I have so many ideas but I have no clue on how the heck am I supposes to put them out.. Do you have any advice? How do you usually write? Please help.

*casually implodes* alright. Okay. Excellent.

This just might be the best ask I’ve ever received. I’ve always wanted to teach others how to write, I’m really passionate about writing stuff, and I’m majoring in education in university rn, so I sure hope I can answer this well lmao

But, nevertheless, I finally have the opportunity:

✨ Mari’s Writing Crash Course that I may or may not have composed while tipsy: a short guide to novel formatting ✨

There’s only, truly, three factors that are the most noticeably important: Formatting, Dialogue and Writing Voice.

You said you’ve been writing in screenplay format? Immaculate. You’re already halfway there. If you know how to write ANYTHING (short stories, novels, screenplays) you already- hopefully- understand the basis of composing stories. Character arcs, plot lines, worldbuilding, etc. I’m not getting into ANY of that, bc your ask referred to formatting and formatting only. I gotcha luv.

The Step One: The Key to Novel Formatting

You’ve already written in screenplay format before. That’s great. You’re already, like, more than halfway there. I’ve tried screenplaying before, but I never got that far in. Not my best medium.

I’m assuming what you’ve worked on before looks like this (format wise, not content wise lmao)

Caps lock indication, space down, and dialogue.

Well here’s the neat thing: novel writing, while very different from screenplays, is much closer to screenplays with more detail:

Caps lock indication, italicized setup, space down, and dialogue.

OTHER THAN describing the camera angles, this has very similar content to a novel: describing portions (sometimes equal portions, usually not) of both dialogue and descriptions.

So! Remove the caps lock indication on who’s speaking, make that italicized setup into the flow of a paragraph, remove all the stuff on camera angles, and put that dialogue under quotation marks.

Now it looks like this:

OH WOW! IT LOOKS LIKE A NOVEL NOW!!

Don’t overthink it: you just take your same thoughts from your screenplay format, and then… transfer it. Piece of cake 🍰

The sub-category of Part One; Part One Extended I guess: Present or Past Tense

What tense do you want your novel to be written in? Present tense? Past tense?

I used to say, “ ALL books are written in past tense. Because as the reader, we’re looking into a story that has already been written. If a book is in present tense, that means the story is unfolding, that means the author is writing it while we’re reading it, and that’s impossible since we’re holding the copy of the book in our hands. NO books should be written in present tense 😡👎”

And then I opened up The Hunger Games and saw it was in present tense.

So it looks like I’m just wildly wrong about that.

I will say tho, most books are written in past tense. And that might, or might not, be more comfortable for the reader and writer. However, it is up you. Contrary to my former opinion, there is no right or wrong tense for your book to be in.

Here is a visual guide:

Once you pick one, though, stick with it. Jumping between past and present these, UNLESS it’s for any stylistic choice (character’s flashbacks, time travelling, etc.) will most likely be awkward to read.

The Step Two: The Importance of properly formatting dialogue

Quotation marks go THROUGHOUT a sentence.

“Why don’t you guys go look at my taco salad post” and “she said” is all ONE BIG SENTENCE.

“Why don’t you guys go look at my taco salad post.” She said. ❌

“Why don’t you guys go look at my taco salad post,” she said. ✅

Each dialogue before the end of the sentence completes with a comma instead of a period. Exclamation marks and question marks can be used in whatever dialogue format, since they’re tone indicators. There aren’t strict rules for tone indicators.

Commas and periods aren’t really tone indicators, so there’s a quick key on how to write that stuff:

Remember, if dialogue ends with a “she said” “she exclaimed” “she spoke” etc. etc. etc. it’ll be part of the same sentence. But, if dialogue ends with an action “she walked to the door” “she took a forkful of that taco salad” etc. etc. etc. it’ll be an entirely new sentence.

THIS is what it looks like:

Also, not every set of dialogue needs to have an end quote to it. This is what that looks like:

I mean, you could but brackets in dialogue. But I just want to warn you: I read a book like that, can’t recall the author’s name, and it distracted me greatly from the characters, plot, atmosphere, etc. I’d stay away from that.

The Step Three: The Writing Voice

So what is narrative voice, anyways?

This is essentially how you form your entire story. The tone, emotion, and descriptions of your story.

I know, I know, the idea that every single word you use reveals your writing style might sound daunting, but trust me, writing voice comes naturally. As long as you let it come naturally.

Essentially: people who know you really well, your closest friends and family, who recognize your quirks, your colloquialisms, and your speech patterns, will most likely recognize your writing style. Because it will sound like you.

And that’s all writing voice is. Your own style. Even this answer I typed out for your ask, it’s in my writing style. It’s in my voice. It’s a blend of eloquent words, long sentences, and a dash of humour here and there. My novel, albeit sounding obviously much different than me making a post on tumblr, also sounds like this. To an extent.

You write like how you speak, even if you’re writing from a specific character’s perspective.

An example is Rick Riordan’s writing sounds wildly different from Becky Chamber’s writing. Even though they’re both talented and hard working, excellent writers. Every book looks different Every book sounds different. Every book feels different.

So, how do you find your own writing style?

Of course, a published novel of yours will sound different than your personal diary. But, those differences aside, they both have your voice. So let yourself speak, let yourself write.

Your story is going directly from your brain, to your laptop screen, or pen and paper, or whatever. Let yourself get into it. Sometimes I read what I’m writing out loud. Sometimes I don’t. Do not overthink your writing voice, or try to force your novel to sound more formal, or more casual, or more poetic, or more or less descriptive, or more wordy. Just let it be.

The more you write, and the more drafts you create, you’ll find your writing voice without even needing to search around for it.

There is a website called, I Write Like This. You can copy and paste passages of your writing, a few hundred words at a time if you want, and it’ll analyze your flow of descriptions, dialogue, punctuation, and match it up with whatever famous author your voice sounds similar to.

I copy and pasted my entire second chapter, a few thousand words, and this is my badge:

My writing voice is similar to our beloved @neil-gaiman . Of course, our writing voice is not identical, as no two authors ever are, but the flow of the writing, the mood, the tone, the energy… it’s a little bit on the same page.

The bonus step four: write shit 💩

You said you write shit?

Good.

Write shit.

This is odd advice to give, I know. But when I say write shit, I mean as a start.

If you had sent an ask saying, “I’ve NEVER touched a pen, paper, or laptop in my life, I don’t know how to write!!” I’d be… daunted. Not an impossible task, but a daunting one. Just slightly harder to get into, slightly harder to give advice for.

I’d much rather you write like shit than not write at all. The hierarchy goes like this:

Good writing >>> shit writing >>> not writing at all.

I can’t remember where I heard this from, but to quote, “you can edit a poorly written page, but you can’t edit a blank page”.

So go, my lovely Sana. Be free. Write all the shit in the world. Fill up your pages. Get writers cramp. Get writers block. Recover from writers block. Make typos. Make messes. Write glorious, delicious, silly, stupid, and beautiful things. Your first draft is not supposed to be perfect. The time will come for pristine, polished, ready-to-be-published writing, and you do not need to rush into there. At all.

Write shit 💩 New-writing is the most necessary shit in this world.

[fkinavocado]

So I have been devouring Daddy issues (came across all the time but for some reason never gave a whole chance tbh and took a break from work recently so I eat sleep and breathe here) and let me tell you, it is incredibly good and pulling me in, like this never happened before I can’t do chores at home or anything all I think about is this masterpiece.

I don’t know about you but I might have the same parents low key (very very light version love em but cant deny) and it fucking felt therapeutic today and I am proud of you for things you have written like that is a witch sheet literally or you have to be so goddamn brilliant bc it’s. So. Good 🥵🥵🥵 (a bit tipsy so ignore if u like)

ahahaha how and why would i ever ignore this, i'm so glad you like it lovely!🥹❤️❤️ this really came in at the right moment too because i'm having the biggest pity party atm so ... this really made me smile honestly

i personally wouldn't wanna read it with that synopsis either. i feel it doesn't do the story justice at all but..

also wish i could go back and write it with proper punctuation, smth i couldn't be arsed abt back then but, maybe one day☠️

miss writing so much:(

[rin-and-jade]

Hiii! I hope you had a great year or at least you had fun and felt that you're alive, safe and loved :) the holydays are coming and I cant shake the feeling that I must wish you a peaceful one :'D I hate holydays :')

So. I dont know if you can remember me. Im that person who's told you about all my struggles regarding studying and having issues with controlling my attention and how I couldn't manage to pass an exam bc of my dissociation/ time processing i think a year ago i've written you that message... (I managed to pass the second one and it was great actually) but I wanted to ask you something. If you have the knowledge and/ or experience of course. At first I must point out i've been diagnosed with bpd, I dont know if this is a trait of it or if its DID... but. im having trouble with identifying whether this kind of problem is among others with DID or if Im just strictly borderline (maybe its just denial) and so. is it something thats related to bordeline if im not seeing this personalities as being "present" as I am? Like, i cant say they have ever been there at least as always as long as I am most of the time. I feel like they are always just standing behind me looking after me but at the same time letting me doing all the work. Sure. there are times when some dude is taking over to do the physical chores or the dude whos taking over just to have fun and get drunk (she's here right now cuz im tipsy and tried to "have fun") or when im in nature the hippy one comes near just to show me how important it is just being alive and appreciating nature.... but I dont feel like they are some separeted beings from me. As I was saying, they let me do all the work. I happen sometimes to have emotional amnesia and doing things without having control but they arent here! Does it make sense? Sometimes they speak to me and try to make themselves understood but only in those moments when im not aware as though they're sneaky and trying to hide from me... I doesnt seem fair, thats all.. and im really trying to make peace with them and whenever the persecutor comes into action im telling him to go fuck himself and try to be a bully with somebody else not with the persons who suffered. I mean why doesnt he try to come when we actually need him? For example when somebody is mean to us and we need to stop let ourselves be the black sheep or even when we feel verbally atacked? So im trying to get reasonable with him at that part. But there arent any signs that they really exist... they are somewhere deep I cant acces anything. And im thinking. I must have a to much active imagination. I given my sorrows and anxieties names, personalities overall. I feel guilty bc I dont want to seem like a bad person just for trying to find out what is going on in my dissociated mind (i dissociate a lot. So much that i cant understand my current life).... I dont want to seem like i pretend that I am someone or more likely somebodies that I am not.

So to summerize this: is it something common to find yourself that you lack the life activity around you of your personalities? They are only coming when its something urgent like remembering stuff at work or something that puts us in danger for not being neurotypicals, or when we need to remember what we studyied, what our names is, or how old are we (dont even get me started we sometimes guess wrong :'). ) when we have stuff to do and I feel like shit and I cant handle. What do you think? Sorry for the long message Im only trying to figure this out. Maybe you'll have a clue what im talking about because im getting the feeling that im too drunk to write concise (also this is not my first language)

Im gonna sign with two initials so you'll know from now on if we ever have other questions to ask you with L. (shes always trying to help shes the flower power one) and E. (shes just plain bold and very brave at everything she does)

Again im wishing you a wonderful day/night and a peaceful holyday (　・ω・)♡♡♡♤♤♤

Wait.. i KNOW you, it’s the brisk break method i ever told because sometimes focusing for too long depletes people’s energy faster and some other tips! Im so glad you actually passed because I’ve been sat here thinking if theres a change in your studies after seeing your ask being answered.

Would you pour me a glass too here as i say some stuffs,, also im having a great holiday, merry xmas.

I would admit that when we talk about alternate personalities between BPD and DID, its bit hard to actually discern which is which because it’s broad and everyone has it uniquely (aka will never be the same, thus cannot rule out easily) so.. hm. I have a way to explain and guide to your conclusion:

These two mental conditions fall into the same dissociative spectrum with different severity, thus why it may have similarities and could even overlap which will be harder to tell which belongs to what. That being said, the similarities with these two would be: some level of identity separation/disconnection, has normal and emotinal amnesia, automatic responses by dissociating to keep oneself from danger, and some inconsistencies with yourself.

The difference settles on the severity, how its triggered, and what related symptoms are commonly associated with the disorder.

As a bpd holder i can clearly tell apart which is from the disorder or not; you will have some sense of alternation, with this it won’t be as bad and you are aware that it’s part of you (which not always the case for did) + it doesn’t necessarily involve a shift in age, worldview or how you see yourself physically and more limited to states, percievings, and feelings. The critics are also in first-person for e.g. “this is so fricking stupid of me to say __ before, why did i do that???” That won’t apply to did.

Thats for one, though i want to keep it short so in general i want to say that bpd is from “idk which version of me is the actual me and i have a hard time finding and sticking to an authentic one” while did is “idk who i am and i thought i like this which turns out untrue after a few hours and i barely have got a sense of myself which makes me get stumped whenever i got asked something” kind of thing.

Things that are more bpd related: have struggles maintaining relations, mood swingy, fear of abandonment, emotional impermanence, anxious, very susceptible to amygdala hijacking

Things that are more did related: shifted sense of time, significant memory gaps, problems with memory consolidation and recall, frequent dissociation, feeling out of body, feeling not like yourself, inconsistent preferences

I cannot vouch if this is a yes or no about the question, coming from a system myself. So i hope you can do a bit more digging and use my insight to further help you, also feel free to contact me via DMs if it’s stull confusing. For now, i advice you to read more resources and take my words into account,

See you later!

- j

[taestefully-in-luv]

Just finished re-reading our time chapter 1, and by god, am I impressed.

Like, all the little hints? It must’ve taken so long to plan ahead and decide which hints to drop when and where 😭✋🏻

I’ll talk about what I remember happening in this chapter (my memory sucks </3) and what I think it was a hint for. Lmk if I’m incorrect or on the right path? Hope it makes some sense 😭🫶🏻:

THE COUCH STAIN. I assume this was a stain Haru made, and that’s why JK was so sad about it, which is just, ouchies. Also, if I remember correctly, the guest bedroom used to be/ was Haru’s, so it also makes sense why Jungkook didn’t want to sleep in there.

THE AFFECTION. Jungkook cupping OC’s face while apologizing for turning on the lights? Fucking heartache inducing frfr. Beautifully written ugh. Plus, during the movie night, I’m sure he usually gets cuddly when tipsy, but since he’s also used to it (or was used to it 💔), I think that’s also why he was being more touchy than usual.

THE TENSION. Obviously, the tension between Kook and Misu was one of the few things that got fully explained, and damn does it make so much more sense.

SOMEWHERE TO BE, THINGS TO DO. Jungkook’s errands here are obviously meeting up with Jimin and doing whatever it is they’re still doing. (The case?)

MOVIE NIGHT. So, it said that they watched three movies but Jungkook was already on his fourth glass of wine. Which, knowing what we know (i.e. the likelihood of Jungkook being a recovering(?) alcoholic are pretty high), makes sense. It’s a tiny little detail, but makes more sense later. Plus, it adds to the ouchies. Also, Y/N mentioned Misu stating that the real reason she broke up with Jungkook was because “he was better as a friend”. I assume this is another nod towards his (possible) alcoholic tendencies. It also makes sense why Misu wouldn’t air it out to anyone, especially Y/N.

That’s all I really remember from this chapter, but I hope it’s (almost) everything!

Enjoying it all immensely, as always!!

🤍🤍🤍

hello @dearly-somber 🥰 i know it’s been MONTHS but i figure this is a great time to finally answer these chapter by chapter asks you left for me with your thoughts~

since i will be updating the story soon :)

first of all thank you for re reading the chapters and sharing your thoughts i love it😭 i’m excited to go through these!

1. the couch stain!!! yup, haru was the one who spilled hot chocolate on the couch and jk got sad that yn has no idea. the entire line “you see a stain, he sees a story” is hint for how much deeper it was for him

2. oh yeah not showing affection is hard of course but he’s especially uhhhhhhh “deprived” because in truth, he hasn’t touched her in quite some time so it makes it all harder. especially bc he doesn’t feel like he deserves to touch her no matter how badly he wants to 🙃

3. the tension between misuk and jk probably won’t get better 🥲

4. i can confirm his busy schedule when he’s not with yn has mostly to do with jimin, yes

5. i won’t give a direct answer to this because his alcoholism will be discussed more in future chapters…how it started, why etc etc

off to ch 2 analysis 🏃‍♀️

[kithtaehyung]

Hello writer it is I 📖 again. It 's been a while.

It’s a little late at night.. 😂 yes 10:00 pm it’s late at night for me ok? I’m a 32 year old man.. Emphasis in OLD!

And also I might be a bit tipsy.. Fine, I’m drunk but in my defense we are childless in this household right now (thanks to my mother who took the child on a little vacation) And let me tell you dear writer your new chapter couldn’t come at a better time 😏 yup I’m implying something 😂

What can I say about this chapter? It was.. quite something.

First.. I was a bit nervous by the reaction of reader to the whole dinner situation, and I was nervous because she was jealous? My man has never given her a reason to be! Tangerine man is wiped, gone, finished, K.Oed. She had no reason to be. Ok I get it she has some insecurities about herself from her previous experiences, and maybe yeah she still has some lingering concerns about how Yoongi was in the past, but it’s that THE PAST. I’m glad they talked, I’m glad she spoke and told him what was going through her head because Yoongi had no fucking clue what was going on, and there’s a reason for that.. not only because he is so incredibly wiped, but also because he is a MAN! And dear.. we (members of the masculine gender) are stupid, dumb, obtuse, and many other words that my mind can’t think of right now. Much more stupid than what you girls think we are, we don’t understand shit. So I’m glad she explained to him with pears and apples why was she upset, they are learning to be in a relationship with each other and that was very nice to see?.. read? (For a second there I was very worried I don’t do good with angsty shit)

Second. The.. (I had to ask how to refer to these parts 😂) Smut, it was fun.. I bet there’s a lot more that my man wanted to do. I get you Yoongi, I do also have a bit of a possessive trait.. which is not bad right? Right? 😂 I bet that when they are alone and able to explore this a bit farther it will get even more.. risqué 😂 (love that word) and I have to say.. his reaction? The things he did..? The things he said..? 👍🏻 And.. The things he didn’t do..Hehe..

He has more under his sleeve.. I just know it Because.. yeah 😏😎

Now, I have to mention the infamous chains, and I might be projecting here but I want to say that those chains have more meaning to Yoongi than to reader. isn’t Yoongi in his own way.. claiming reader? And I mean claiming her in the way of.. he is telling the world that that woman right there is his to love and to care for, that she has a person that will go to the depths of hell for her? I think it’s not only hot as fuck for him to see her wearing his shit, I think it goes beyond that.. am I wrong? I don’t think so.. because If it is.. I get it. There’s no feeling like it.

Sorry for the long ass message.. again 😂

If this doesn’t make sense blame it on the Macallan. And to Ki, she started with the drinking on fucking Sunday, because “B.. The last of Us first episode is tonight! We can’t be sober.. that shit it’s gonna be epic!”😂 I don’t get her logic.

Anyways, I hope you had fun during the holidays.

Great work as always. Have a wonderful evening.

Kind regards ✌🏻

-📖

P.S. I think brother knows.. 👀 I just have this feeling that he might notice more than what we all think, something about his behavior makes me think..

I’m a bit too invested on this story 😂 ✌🏻

BOOK!! HELLO! It’s been awhile I’m so happy to hear from you (with a side of Ki!😂) You two are just so cool I swear. How did you enjoy TLOU? I’m caught up and it’s so dang gOOD. Pass the Macallan!! Which one did y’all have?👀 we’re going under a cut bc I have lots to say again!

I definitely understand being apprehensive about reader’s attitude and overall demeanor! It’s quite different from all the times before and leads to some head scratching and possible nail biting. But once we come to find out exactly why there’s a whole war inside their head, it makes sense (without excusing actions.)

Also, there is a reason I had Yoongi act like this too because I know for a fact what you say about Men needing things to be spelled out🤣 it truly was that whole “I have no idea what you’re talking about so please say exactly what it is” type thing for him. Because on his end, we all know how he feels about reader! He could never do anything to hurt our beloved overthinker, not intentionally🥺 I’m glad reader was able to actually voice everything because this could’ve been a lot messier.

FUUUUUU I’m so stoked to know you liked the spice!! (Lmfao it is smut but we can use anything to describe it here I’m pretty loose with the terms. Spice is my go-to word for it in asks.) And it was quite interesting to see Yoongi like this, huh.. God, I want them to explore more so bad but alas. I shall exercise patience💀 he certainly has a lot more up his rolled-up sleeves..👁️

As for the chains commentary: I WANNA CRY😭 you have a pretty good take on them is all I’ll say for now but I won’t lie this part of your message made me tear up😭😭 we know from Dal Segno that his protectiveness went up exponentially during the time bro was gone, so maybe what you say has a ton of merit.. just imagining him seeing them on reader makes me all too mushy inside :’))

Suuuuper intriguing take on bro🫣 and I love the fact that you’re invested in this story! Makes me happy to know, and thank you for all of this amazing insight from your perspective!!

[zhongrin]

Happy birthday Rin aaaaaa <33 I don't know you for long but in this short time you've always been nice to me and so friendly!! Also so sweet 💞💞 I really enjoy talking about our selfships with you!! And I really ship Meitham and Zhongrin - cuz of that I gifted ya 2 drabbles hehe <33 hope ya like them! Have a great day ahead and I hope you get everything you wished for! Hoping the next year's of yours will go smoothly and healthy!! ❤️

Now;; cuz of ya response from mawh ask - frfr like;; you always seem so nice on them <33 and then you even were an anon of me like fodhsndkdhjeke that was so cute doshwjkk 💞💞

Yes totally Rin hehe, do you play Obey me! too by any chance?

Dw Rin I give him enough kisses~

Just kidding. My heart belongs to Baizhu only. ❤️

Heh a bit too smitten even maybe fkebsiebnw (help it is?? I thought it's kinda annoying 🥹) LMAO RIN, so what day is it today?

*Zhongli standing in the distance with a proud smile on his face.* I think I can already explain it by myself hehe

Tbh I hate alcohol LMAO and my tolerance is pretty shit, I get drunk easily hehe oopsie (so Zhonglis alcohol tolerance is high?)

So ya don't have any children planned in your selfships?🤸💞 You already call him daddy - make him a real one Rin smh

OFC IT DOES RIN OFMG LIKE?? SITTING ON THE LAP OF SUCH A HANDSOME MAN?? RKDBSKIRBEJSIEHSBNSOFO BARKBARKWOOFWOOFAWOOGA I mean-

Awwww yes, do it again <33 and record it hehe

I once read that dogs can sense if someone is scared of them but idk if that's true but omfg;; your dog was so friendly then <333

I am sure the both of them will decide for you just right Rin, hehe <33 (help fkdhjsis but your selfships are so cute I can't dosbjsisns)

*dies* (it's great but kfmg omfg sidbsjjdbejs sometimes when Baizhu feels a bit chaotic he calls me "my future wife" and I and I and I lose it I really lose it I really lose it I really- *faints*)

Yes cuz of that I asked! Although you, ofc, can do your AU with your hubby's like they don't have a fanclub if ya want to 🥰

Alright alright no pressure <33 and omfg, my bestie would say 'Diluc' now, cuz she used to ship me with him and IDK WHY, but she enjoys it sm seeing Diluc as Baizhus competition

But if you would ask me, nawh. We don't have anyone who wants to destroy our relationship<33

aahhhhh thank you vi 💕 i enjoy talking about our selfships so much too!! you've been super friendly and welcoming and really indulging in my zhongrin and meitham selfship agenda, and i can't ever thank you enough!!!

truly a 'shared one braincell' moment 😭 i'm so amused bc it synced up so well like the same day i decided to haunt your inbox you decided to drop into mine THIS IS DESTINY I TELL YOU XD

i did actually! i used to! i love the lore and the characters but the game got too grindy for my taste and the lessons just got harder and harder and i got burnt out so i stopped playing oomph i think you probably can guess who i like lol-

yes yes (who said it's annoying??? i will kindly,.... persuade them to change their mind-) today is..... baivi day! i feel like terrorizing- i mean bullying- i mean lovingly indulge you with a very loving baizhu bot in the server <3

ok fine you win please carry me now-

SAME OMG VI WE CAN STICK TOGETHER AT PARTIES THEN literally i drank one small glass of apple cider one time and i got so sleepy i just crawled to bed and conked out. my family was so confused where i went (it was a new years party at home with the whole family kind of thing) (and yes, the dragon is a tank, the most he could get tipsy but never drunk drunk hlsdjfklsdf)

as of now not really! but perhaps one day with zhongli..... hehehe .......... yk what maybe i will. maybe i should start asking him to-

sitting on his lap, maybe with his hand on your thigh, or around your waist? either way you'll be pulled close onto his chest, his long hair slightly tickling your skin as baizhu's distinct scent along with some herbs surround you, making you feel right at home.... maybe even with his lips close to your ear, murmuring profound declarations of love? <3

i am so tempted to draw blushy!haitham now hsldkjflksdjf

she wassss i miss her ;w;

that they will hehe (I COULD SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOURS PLS)

*notes down in clipboard* uh huh uh huh continue ;)

that is true.... perhaps not on this teahouse!au but on a parallel universe mayhaps pantalone and zhongli are silently playing 4d chess trying to win my heart hsldkfjslkdf

omg you know what would be super funny. it's a third party scenario who wants to separate you but it's bc of wholesome reasons. imagine being kaveh's younger sister and wanting to romance al haitham. wheeze. kaveh would be like "WHY HIM PLEASE NO YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER" lmao

love triangles are just a cute lil concept in fics bc omg??? two guys??? fighting over lil old me?? instant ego boost fr

diluc and baizhu huh... it's extra funny to me bc their elements don't match at all helphsldkfjsd

ah ok good good *quietly stashes vortex vanquisher back to its display*

[g4yr4t]

What does being drunk feel like?

I feel like maybe you saw my post from a while back about fic writers who don't know how to write drunk people. I'm happy to help!

first, it depends on how drunk you are! tipsy/buzzed feels pretty light to me, sometimes giggly. I get this weird thing where my bones (?) or muscles hurt when I'm tipsy but not drunk, but I think that is just a Me Problem bc I've never heard of it happening to anyone else. I'm a pretty affectionate drunk, so I find myself to be full of love for a lot of people (my students, my friends, my family) and will talk about it profusely bc my inhibitions are lower. I've cut down on drunk texting, but it's so difficult when you love everyone! I also just talk, like, a lot, particularly in the earlier stages of drinking.

you start to feel dizzy when you're drunk, and it gets difficult to focus on things like screens. I have to close one of my eyes to read and answer texts when I get very drunk, just to make the screen come into focus. it's harder to walk without bumping into things or falling over - I'm not great at doing this sober either, but it gets worse when I'm drunk.

one big thing is that when you're drunk (or at least, when I am), drinking more seems like a really good idea. if you're having fun, you don't want it to stop. if you're not having fun, it can still seem like a good idea, anyway, bc maybe drinking more will make it better. doing other drugs might seem like a good idea too! I've only ever done cocaine while drunk, and the first time I did ketamine I was also drunk.

as an autistic person, I find that drinking helps dull unpleasant sensory input. I wouldn't be able to handle a club or a loud bar sober, but if I'm drinking, I can deal with it. it's not that anything gets quieter, but it's easier to tolerate. same with being physically close to people. for as touch-averse as I am while sober, I generally feel more like hugging/kissing/cuddling when I'm drunk. alcohol also makes for a good "social lubricant," but different people have different social responses to alcohol. some people get super angry or sad.

little things about drinking/being drunk that would be a nice touch to include in writing:

it can be hard to realize that you're drunk sometimes, but one of the places I most frequently find myself noticing is... in the bathroom? idk if it's because of the change of scenery, the sitting down and standing up process, or looking in the mirror and feeling a vague dissociation. but bathrooms for sure.

two people who are drunk might remember events very differently bc alcohol impairs and muddles memory (or even blocks it from forming if you drink heavily enough)

some people only smoke cigarettes when they're drinking, or are more likely to smoke while drinking (I don't smoke tobacco so idk why but I know people like this)

this isn't really general writing advice, but the dumbest thing I've ever done while drunk was try to pet a raccoon that was on my mom's porch. I got bitten ever so slightly and had to get four rounds of rabies vaccines bc it broke the skin.

second dumbest was insisting I could walk across the city to get home at 3am because the trains had stopped running. I was very far from my apartment. my new friends stopped me and made me take a nap, and I am forever grateful.

one time I read a fic where a bartender poured shots of gin, which seemed to me like a giveaway that the person didn't have much experience with alcohol. I like gin, but it's not a common liquor for shots. generally when I take shots it's tequila (the order is lick salt, take shot of tequila, bite down on lime wedge, btw), vodka, or whiskey

but usually I only take a shot of whiskey if it's w/a pbr in a citywide special

so yeah. that's a long answer to a short question. I don't want to glamorize drinking - it can have some major negative health and sometimes social impacts, and alcoholism is a very real problem in the queer community. but I'm also not in a position to demonize people who drink, since I am one. do what you want, try to be safe, have fun writing or drinking or whatever it is you're doing, and feel free to ask followup questions. also: your mileage may vary, so take all of this with a grain of salt. and maybe a shot of tequila. and a lime wedge. lol.

[usmsgutterson]

venting about problems I'm worrying about two months before they'll become problems and they're pretty insignificant anyway

having to navigate a friend group where one of my closest friends is the ex of another of my closest friends is a logistical nightmare.

I turn nineteen in january. I wanted to just do a thing with friends (bowling or dinner or a rage room or smth) and then something with family (dinner and maybe a trip to a bar with my sisters because nineteen is the legal drinking age where I am and I do want to get a liiiiiiitttle tipsy at least)

but like. I might have to just do three things because Person A ghosted Person B after like, a month and a half-two months?? of leading them on, and also Person B made Person A angry for the entire year leading up to their break up but Person A didn't say shit and so Person A is like "our relationship ended on a bad note" and Person B is just like "Person A has been ghosting me since august and took me off of the accounts we shared without warning but I'm fine, I've made peace with it even though being ghosted freaking sucks" so it's--it's all very complicated.

How do I know I'll need to plan three things if I want Person A involved in my birthday celebration?? I watched the fnaf movie with Person B and my friend Person C on the day before halloween and before we went I invited Person A and they were like "will my ex be there?" and when I was like "yeah" they were like "ugh no. why would I want to see my ex??" and mentally I was like "it is a fucking movie. can you not sit for two hours, NOT EVEN NEXT TO PERSON B and just fucking be cordial??" but I never said that bc I am nice externally and when they get angry, Person A becomes almost as terrifying as my dad does.

SO, if I want to celebrate with all of my friends, I will AT MINIMUM have to do a thing with Persons B and C, another thing with my friends L, H, C again and Person A, and then go to dinner with my parents and sisters where I will absolutely be getting drunk because I will legally be able to and all of the fucking stress and MONEY going into it?? not even slightly worth it oh my fucking word.

and it just--it kind of makes me mad because I shouldn't have to celebrate my birthday with three groups of people three or four different times. I don't have the energy to do that even slightly, and it pisses me off because how are you incapable of being calm and cordial and collected for an hour in a rage or escape room?? How are you incapable, ABSOLUTELY INCAPABLE of being cordial for the length of one dinner at Boston Pizza where I will be drinking a literal FISHBOWL of alcohol and getting so drunk that it'll be impossible not to laugh at me??? how. how can you not. just this fucking once.

and I know it probably makes me sound really selfish--I promise this isn't how I actually am, the idea of celebrating my birthday more than twice is just a LITTTTTLE nauseating and kind of makes me want to spiral into social burn out because I can handle doing multiple different things with family but with friends I just--my social battery is gone after six hours and I've been really excited about this birthday since I hit eighteen because both of my sisters are able to drink already and I have been missing out on the times they're hanging out with people for almost a full two years now because alcohol is involved and I'm sick of missing out. I promise I do my best not to be self centered or vain but I feel like it's justified in this case.

With my family my social battery is basically LIMITLESS because they respect when I go quiet and aside from my mom asking me what's wrong a couple of times, they'll understand that I don't really wanna talk but am more content to listen for like, ten or fifteen minutes until one of them does something that makes me laugh and I'm back in the groove of things, but it just. I have the energy to do something during the day on my birthday and a dinner. anything more than that and especially anything that doesn't happen within the week after my birthday?? I'm at the point where I have spent five months at home almost unrelentingly and my capacity for weekly social events is not at all like it used to be even SLIGHTLY, as much as I hate that.

and I just don't--it just fuckin' irks me to no end because I get not being able to be around your ex--I have an ex who I can't stand to be around anymore because of how we ended things so I absolutely get it--but like. The only reason that they ended on a bad foot was poor communication and Person A's unwillingness to clear stuff up even despite Person Bs numerous attempts at reaching out before they just gave up on Peson A. Clear stuff up and at least be acquaintances or at least TRY TO BE ACQUAINTANCES.

again, I probably sound selfish but it is one in the morning, I am sleep deprived and this entire vent was stream of consciousness style venting so. please let it be known that the version of me that's angry because I have to have two celebrations for one occasion is not the me that exists all the time.

[mosviqu]

loved ur thoughts on it and i'm yet again glad to know that 2 out of 3 of our fav songs match again and i'm so glad it's a 20/10 album for u as well

tbh i only remember matthew talking so i'm not going to be a help here sadly💀💀

ERIC NEEDS TO HAVE LONGER PARTS I LOVE MY MAN SUNWOO LOVE HIS RAPS LOVE HIS VOICE BUT ERIC DESERVES TO SHINE AS WELL HE ALWAYS GET SO LITTLE PARTS💔 and i'm glad we did talk more about sunwoo😇 atleast it was worth it cuz of actor jihoon ig but the fact that only the last episodes were good😭😭 AND YAYYY IM HAPOY TO HEAR THAT🥳🥳

TBH IT WOULD BE CRAZY IF WE WOULD ACTUALLY END UP MEETING UP but if u need any help while u guys are here i am available to help anytime🫡

THE CLUB ONES WERE SO FUNNY I REMEMBER HOW THE TAEHYUN ONE AND THEIRS WERE AROUND THE SAME TIME AND I JUST LAUGHED SO HARD AT THEM (i remember seeing someone say "can't believe they are dancers and they move like this" i lost my shit actually) AND SO TRUE GOOD FOR HIM LMAO and now that u say that i follow an intak stan on tiktok AND SHE HASNT TALKED MUCH ABOUT JIM LIKE SHE USED TO (she also doesn't really make tiktoks that much and took like half off but we don't talk about that)

I DID WATCH IT!!! BAR!!!! I CANNNNOTT PUT MY FEELINGS INTO WORDS I LITERALLY ENDED UP ON THE FLOOR AFTER I WATCHED IT FOR THE FIEST TIME I JUST COULDNT TAKE MY EYES OF OFF JIHOON IT WAS SO BAD HIS FIT AND EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM WAS😭🤭 THE SONG🤌🤌🤌 THE CHOREOGRAPHY 🤌🤌 (but i did. feel a bit weird when i looked at junghwan doing al that .-.) and ever since it came out it has been my motivation to learn i'm just like okay i'm gonna finish this part and watch it again🤭 i am just so not ready for them to perform this like ever shsndbfn (liebestraum anon🥸)

SEE our taste in music actually matches for the most part 😭

still thinking of eric in kiss me if you can....and eric in general..... (i watched their vid w the fo squad today and girl let me tell u i think i fell in love with him ☹ you know me so well goodbye) also i wont talk abt sunwoo anymore bc he is yours only and i wont be a bad friend in this situation /j (i finished the bbam bbam social club series. literally 8h of staring at tipsy sunwoo. what did u expect to happen). ERIC DOESNT GET MANY PARTS ???? HAVE U HEARD THE MAN??????????????? JUSTICE FOR MY MAN.

omg im...so down actually ??? even tho i am SO awkward irl istg i think id die of anxiety but it would be so fun i think 😭😭 i still dont have the tickets so. we'll see hhhhh

NO BECAUSE TAEHYUNS CLUB WAS TOO DRY ISTG THAY WAS THE WORST ONE 😭😭 my man has to come to slovak clubs fr i'll show him how its done 🙄🙄 but also THEY HAVE SO MANY HONGDAE CLUBS AND HE WENT TO THE DRIEST ONE ??? 😭😭 but w the dancing part like how do u expect him to dance at a club he isnt gonna bust out the good boy gone bad choreo 😭😭😭 i mean at least shake ass a little i understand but dont expect big things 😭😭 also SEE im the most active intak stan confirmed (dont look that up) i need him to be my golden retriever boyfriend he's so pookie

on the topic of T5 move. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. jihoon's fit...lives in my mind rent free. like we knew he had abs and we did see them before but why did the sight affect me so much this time �� also i didnt even look at junghwan that much 😳 maybe for the best to not feel weird AHAHA i mean he is an adult but the 2 year age difference is providing a mental block for me to not see him in that way LMAO. we are NOT ready for the mv OR the live performance im afraid. plan my funeral friends ☹☹