#I am the person I’m addressing here like make no mistake

[lhazar]

So like everyone who said the Mysaria/Rhaenyra kiss was going to go somewhere and the show wasn’t going to sideline her again after that attempt at wlw representation (when they cut out the canon queer female characters…) How y’all feeling seeing nothing between them change their lord/advisor dynamic at all. And in fact do more for Rhaenyra and alicent. Or have any impact between her and daemon

Edit: ok I guess I can’t get rid of this poll.

[rowenablade]

Okay. I’m going to wait to do a second watch before I articulate most of my other feelings here, but I want to address one thing.

I’m seeing a lot of posts like, “I related to Izzy because I am also queer and older/disabled/depressed. By killing him off, the writers are saying that I deserve to die.”

Guys.

I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid. I totally understand grieving a character that you relate to. But speaking as a writer, I just want to point out that trying to write with the shadow of “what is the absolute worst and most harmful way a reader can interpret this” will smother your ability to create. Twisting yourself in knots, trying to think up the worst-faith takes possible and scotch-guarding all your writing decisions against them is exhausting to the point of making you just not want to write anymore.

And we’ve seen the writers deliberately choose not to do this in Season 1. Remember all those terrible “Izzy is racist” takes that the writers and cast seemed completely blindsided by? That happened because the writers and directors and actors weren’t going over every scene with a fine tooth comb, ferreting out every shot or line of dialogue or micro expression that could possibly be interpreted as racist, and scrubbing it off. Because there comes a point where your story is what it needs to be, and you have to accept that some people will interpret it in ways you didn’t intend them to. And if you can’t accept that, you’ll never find the courage to put your work out there.

The point of diverse casts and writing teams isn’t to achieve a state of, “Nothing bad ever happens to a character from a marginalized demographic ever again.” It’s to achieve a status quo of these types of characters just being people in the world of the story. Not symbols, not representation boxes to tick, not tokens that you can point to so that you can say, “Here, we acknowledged this type of person exists, now where’s our woke points?”

OFMD is full of characters of color, queer characters, older characters, characters of differing body types. And in stories, things happen to characters. Some fall in love. Some make the same mistakes over and over. Some turn into birds. Some die.

Izzy’s character represents a lot of things, but he does not represent every older, disabled fan or fan who has struggled with suicide, any more than Jim represents all genderqueer fans, or Olu represents all black fans. That’s not how the writers were handling him. They were handling him like a character, because that’s what you have to do.

Again, I understand being sad. I am so, so fucking sad. But this idea of, “Any time something bad happens to a character I relate to means that the writer thinks I deserve these bad things to happen to me,” will poison everything you engage with eventually. Because stories are full of things happening to characters, and they won’t all be good things. And the more representation we get, the more often bad things will happen to characters we relate to.

But good things will happen too.

Queer couples get married. Disabled women run off with their favorite husbands. Middle-aged characters change careers. A multiracial polycule finds a home at sea. A fat man covered in tattoos stars in a drag show and all his friends cheer. All these things happened in the same show as Izzy’s death. This is what this world is.

Anyway. I know emotions are running high and I’ll probably get blocked or unfollowed by a few people for this. But I’m just trying to find my peace where I can, and if anyone else finds this useful, cheers.

[lil-binuu]

˖⁺‧₊𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

PART II ₊‧⁺˖

Resolving things with Elias

1290 words

part 1

buckle up for the ride!

“Hey.”

You turned around, a key in your hand as you closed up the cafe.

“Elias, hey.”

You hadn’t spoken to each other in a couple days. You understood that Elias needed to take a break after the argument. You both needed to.

You hadn’t reached out to him at all, you thought it would be better to let him take as much time as he needed without bothering him. Still, you hoped he knew how sorry you were.

“How was work?”

“Uh, Good… How were your lectures?”

You spoke slowly. Almost trying to process the conversation that was so different from your last. Almost trying to savour the conversation as it might be your last.

“Yeah, good. I- I wanted to talk to you. Wanna ride?” He gestured to the motorcycle behind him.

“Sure.”

There was something in you so relieved to see Elias. He seemed okay; that meant he hopefully was. If he’s willing to speak to you, does that mean he’s willing to move on?

The bike ride with Elias was the most comfort you had since the argument. But there was still a pit in your stomach as you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head against his back.

You wanted to hold him so tight but you knew that if you did, you might not be able to let go.

He stopped at a park. You had come here before to stargaze together. A moment so sweet that it made your tongue bitter at the thought of it never happening again.

Taking a seat at a bench, admiring the orange streaks across the sky.

“How have you been?” He asked earnestly.

“It’s.. “ You stopped yourself. You couldn’t lie to him. “It’s been.. tough.”

Elias nodded.

“Same here.”

He reached out a hand.

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be anymore.”

His palm grazed the top of your hand. Threading his fingers to intertwine with yours.

You met his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I have serious feelings for you and I made a mistake by holding them back. But I don’t want to let one mistake screw everything else up.”

His eyes didn’t break away from yours for a second.

Elias continued, “You hurt me. Seeing you flirt with someone else, that hurt. I mean, you told me that I was being possessive-”

“I didn’t mean it.” You cut in.

“I know. And I also know that you didn’t do it to hurt me. You did it to get my attention. The only thing I want to know is, why didn’t you just talk to me?”

Why?

Why didn’t you talk to him? Why did you go out of your way to get close to someone just to make the person you like jealous? Knowing that it could hurt him?

To be honest, you didn’t even know.

“You know you can talk to me right? It’s important to have conversations about us, about committing to each other and about a future together.”

Wait… are you kidding me?

Was Elias really going to sit there and tell you it was your fault for not initiating a conversation when he didn’t either? He was the one who let you believe he wasn’t even serious about you and yet it’s your fault for not addressing it properly?

“You were doing the same. You were also avoiding those conversations with me. You made me think that you were just messing around and wasting my time.”

“Wasting your time? You think that being with me is a waste of time?”

“Elias, I’m not ‘with’ you. I’m just here. It’s been.. how many months of sleeping together? And yet we haven’t even moved past the ‘talking stage’.”

Elias was silent for a moment, breathing heavily. This was clearly not how he wanted the conversation to go. But you had to talk about things. You were sick of just burying them and pretending they didn’t matter.

“I.. I wanted to ask you to be my partner. Make things official…. But this isn’t how I wanted our relationship to start…”

“I’m sorry, Elias, I really am, but I can’t just forget these feelings and pretend I didn’t feel them just because you decided to man up and ask me to date you.”

“Man up? Y/n, I’ve always wanted to date you, I just wanted to make sure that what I was doing was right and that you wanted it as well.”

“And by doing that..” Your voice grew softer as the emotion began to fill your throat and well up in your eyes. “You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you. Like- Like you were just waiting around to get rid of me because I wasn’t what you wanted in a partner or..or something..”

You looked away from Elias. Leaning back and looking out at the darkening sky.

Neither of you said anything, your confession hanging in the air and dampening the space between you.

His hand that once had retreated, came back to rest on yours.

“I’m sorry you felt that way.”

You looked back at him, tears burning your eyes.

“You mean ‘I’m sorry I made you feel that way’?”

Elias pulled his hand away from yours, becoming defensive.

“No, I didn’t make you feel that way, you felt that way by yourself-”

“Well I wouldn’t have felt that way if you made me feel like I was actually worth something in your life.”

“Oh like how you made me feel like I was controlling and toxic? That I was possessive, and jealous all while you were flirting with a stranger in my face!”

You both fell silent again.

“I don’t know what I was thinking..” You said softly.

“Yeah, and I don’t know what I was thinking by bringing you here.”

Elias got up, and walked around the bench towards his motorcycle.

“So you’re just gonna walk off like last time? Leaving things unresolved so that in a couple days you can show up and we can argue again?”

“Get on the bike. I’m taking you home.” Elias had lowered his voice. He was done arguing.

You got up, frustrated.

“And leave again? Where will you run off to? To sleep with your side-piece?”

Elias stopped, putting his helmet down, and stepping closer to you.

“I’m not the one who flirted with someone else.”

You didn’t say anything.

“Doesn’t mean I wasn’t worried about you.”

You said in a mutter, not even sure if you wanted Elias to hear you.

It didn’t matter anyway, you didn’t get a response.

The bike ride was different than before. Earlier, you had wrapped your arms around his waist and hoped you two could work things out for the better. Now, you wrapped your arms around his waist and felt nothing but empty.

When Elias pulled up outside your apartment building, you went straight in, not saying a word to Elias.

“What are you doing?”

You asked as you noticed him on the stairs behind you.

“I’m making sure you get in alright.” He replied.

“I didn’t know you still cared.”

“I never said I didn’t care.”

“But you made me feel that way.”

Elias sighed heavily, a pang of emotion hitting him. It was the little arguments that hurt the most.

And the truth is, he knew you were right. He had been so absorbed in everything else that he put his relationship with you on fucking standby.

“Fine then.”

He turned around, walking back out the building. You made it clear you didn’t want him there. That was all he needed to leave.

He pulled his helmet back on and revved the engine.

He almost didn’t hear your scream.

note: i promise i really tried to make it fluffy and romantic and make them work it out but it’s just not in me guys >.<

[genoskissors]

Analysis and Theories of Jataro Kemuri’s Mother

I break down sentences of the letter written by Jataro Kemuri’s Mother and interpret their meaning as well as attempting to understand her feelings. Just to clarify, I acknowledge she is an awful person. This is an attempt to understand her, not defend her.

And, to address the elephant in the room, the reason I am writing about a character no one cares about as opposed to my beautiful and wonderful beloved is because if I wrote about her, we’d be here all year.

Also: The note contains four paragraphs, but I have them broken up to make this easier to understand and comment on.

Title: “I Shouldn’t Have Had Him”

Little commentary here, but just note how she is saying “him”, meaning she is addressing herself or another, not Jataro directly.

“There's so much I can do if my son didn't exist. So much I could have done if I never had him.”

The clear things we can make out from this are that Jataro’s mother views him as the sole obstacle in her way. She doesn’t say she wants to kill him, but rather, she wished he never existed at all. Keep this in mind for later. It’s less clear what the circumstances are behind his birth.

While you can interpret this as Jataro being a mistake, it is also possible she wanted Jataro, only for events to lead her to regretting him. Personally, I’m inclined to believe the latter. When she says she “shouldn’t have had him”, she’s specifically referring to giving birth to him, not conceiving him. She doesn’t say she shouldn’t have had sex or shouldn’t have gotten married, she says had him. It implies that Jataro was conceived on purpose, only for his mother to realize it was a mistake afterward. She also named him Jataro, meaning “snake son”. We don’t know if this is a name she liked or if she named him this out of hatred.

There’s no mention of Jataro’s father from either him or his mother, so it’s safe to assume he’s completely out of the picture or not present enough. It’s possible she was formerly in a better situation and something happened. She says something that can be used as a clue, but that’s not until the next lines.

Another thing, she doesn’t just blame Jataro for existing, she blames herself for allowing him to exist. She could have said “So much I could have done if he didn’t exist”, “So much I could have done if he wasn’t here”, “So much I could have done if he died”, but she inserts herself into the blame here. Jataro’s mother says if “I never had him”, meaning she accepts responsibility for being the one to ruin her own life.

“I could have obtained qualifications and licenses, taken lessons, worked more.”

Now here’s that clue I was talking about. Of course, anyone can take lessons, but the combination of these things sounds, to me, like she was fairly young when she had Jataro. These all sound like her youth, which includes twenties, was cut short. She still had time to be something bigger. Jataro’s mothers starts this off saying there much she “can” do, but follows that up with saying there are somethings that are now in the past that she “could have” done. I’ll stop with my theories for now.

It is also known that his mother is likely a workaholic. On top of this sentence, Kotoko refers to Jataro as a “latchkey kid”, which is a child who returns home from school to an empty home because their parent(s) are working.

“Instead, my entire life is just a platform for my son's life.”

Jataro’s mother says that she now has no life separate from her son. There is no time for herself. This further implies that she is now a single parent. She previously stated she wanted to work more, but it was for her own goals. She wanted to work and have her own achievements, but now she feels her purpose has been reduced to merely providing for someone else. She can’t go back and get an education because now she is too busy providing for Jataro. Why can’t she get an education after he’s out of the house? Because at that point she feels like her life is done. She now exists only to care for Jataro, which is why she cannot imagine a future in becoming something greater.

“I think about it every night before I go to sleep. If I woke up in the morning and my son was dead, how splendid would that be?”

Here’s where it’s clearly starting to get to her. She thinks about it every night. She desperately wants to wake up and see that she is free again. If Jataro dies, she now has one less person to keep alive and gets back her personal life.

She also sees his death as nothing but good news. But, like I mentioned earlier, she hasn’t expressed any desire to kill him. She just wished something else would come in and fix her life for her.

“But every time I wake up and see him, I sigh. Why are you still alive? Why do you have a normal life?”

Now, this isn’t really important to her character, but the way Jataro’s mother phrases this could mean that Jataro gets up earlier than she does. She says “see him” but if he was dead he’d still be visible. She could mean it as “seeing living”, she doesn’t wake up and go to his room, she wakes up and sees him at some point.

She asks herself a question that is obviously towards Jataro, but she’s not asking him this. Jataro says his mom hates him, but only says what she told him, never what she asked him.

“Why do you have a normal life?” Holds two statements in one. First, she’s showing jealously. She’s asking how come he has a normal life, but I don’t? Why is he living as if he isn’t ruining her life. Second, she thinks his life is normal. Rather than acknowledging his toxic environment and his mask, I think she says normal as in happy. She knows she mistreats him, but wonders why he still wakes up and lives another day, because to her, it’s exhausting.

“I yearn for the day he stops being healthy and stops growing and just disappears. That's all I want. Why can't you just do something that simple for me?”

Another example of Jataro’s mother wanting him gone but not saying she’s going to harm him. The term yearn also cranks up the desperation tenfold. She then acts like his death or disappearance wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

Personally, I think it’s apparent she still has a sense of responsibility towards her son. While being outright abusive, she still never attempts to physically hurt him. She is the provider of his food, but doesn’t attempt to stop him from being healthy. She just waits for it to happen someday.

It could be feelings of weakness. She feels like it’s her sole purpose to provide for him, so the idea of killing him never even crosses her mind.

“I want him to die so badly it makes me cry. And the fact that he has such a worthless face just makes me even more sad.”

At this point, she’s overworked and tired. She’s become depressed from how badly she craves a new life.

Notably, she still doesn’t mention his father. Her hate for his face comes purely out of hate for him and it’s because he looks happy. When she tells him that he’s ugly and all these terrible things, it’s because she can’t handle the idea that he could have any success in life. The idea that he could have a good life after being what ruined hers.

Another thing not commonly known is that Jataro actually made his mask himself, but his mother is the one forcing him to wear it. It’s a bit unclear how this happened but my ideas are that she forced him to make something covering his face. Jataro is genuinely convinced there’s something wrong with his face and asks why she would make him wear the mask. The only way I can think is that he made it at her request and wore it.

“It makes me think I'm the one who's wrong. I shouldn't have had you.”

When his mother looks at Jataro’s face, she shows empathy for a second. She looks at his innocent face and thinks that she’s the bad guy for hurting him. However, she quickly ignores that thought. Again, she says I shouldn’t have had you. Despite addressing him previously, this “you” feels more direct. She isn’t asking rhetorical questions, she’s asking outright. Now, it still might be a secret from Jataro, but it’s clear she had a piece of her that wanted him to see this.

She closes this off with calming down from talking about him dying and reverting to simply seeing him as a mistake she made. She shouldn’t have given birth to him.

Conclusion (with Theory)

I think Jataro’s mother is someone who had a relationship and got pregnant when she was fairly young. Eventually, the father became absent and Jataro’s mother realized the life she had ahead of her if she didn’t have a child. She started to crave this dream and it led to her resenting her son, but also herself.

Thanks for reading all this. Sorry if it makes no sense, I’ve never been too good at writing.

[saltofmercury]

Reunion (ii)

Author's Note: Part 2 of 3 where we meet König's family

Summary: König takes you to meet his family

Requested by @wikusiax0

Part 1

"Reunion"

The plane ride to Austria was hectic.

In the middle of summer, it seemed like everyone was either traveling from or to Europe it was like it would never end. Your flight was delayed the first time, then stopped somewhere, before actually telling you it was delayed again, and then finally getting to your destination.

Once there, it seemed like nobody could take their eyes off of König.

People stood still, watching your boyfriend guide you through the airport as you trailed behind him attempting to keep up. Red faced and nervous, he pulled on a face mask and sunglasses.

You squeezed his hand, approaching an exit.

Once outside he took a deep breath.

“I think it’s worse when people don’t assume you speak German and they talk about your height.”

You smiled, rubbing his hand. If you were being completely honest, you were a nervous wreck. So little did König talk about his family which made you question and wonder so many things about them.

What was his mother like?

Would his father even come?

Would there be a language barrier?

You got in a taxi with him which dropped you off in some small town about an hour away from the airport.

König thanked the driver and proceeded to get out. You said thank you, then winced at the fact that maybe this man did not speak English.

“You are welcome!” he said, however his face was more serious than his cheerful voice.

“Alright, we start walking. It’s not far from here.”

You turned around in awe, watching how the houses and buildings were so different from what you were used to. The sun was setting already showing a streaks of orange and purple up ahead. Not many people were out, but it still amazed you how small, quaint this town was.

You tried to picture König as a kid running around or even as a teenager running around…

“Paul?”

König stood still.

Your thoughts quickly evaporated as you turned to where the voice came from.

Anxiety poured into his veins. Turning slowly, he looked at the person addressing him.

“Ah, no. I am not Paul.”

König was speaking English to a man who clearly spoke German.

The man cocked his head to the side, smiling, then shook his head side to side. Spoke in German again.

“You are Paul’s son?”

König stood still, then proceeded to nod his head.

“Andreas?” the man said curiously.

The man walked over quickly and shook his hand furiously.

König excused himself and introduced you. His mother tongue coming out so effortless and strong.

You shyly held out your hand speaking slowly.

“So. nice. to. meet. you!”

The man eyed you up and down, staring back at König like something was off. Before the man could say anything, König excused you guys and you made your way up the trail again.

“I’m sorry for all the walking. We walk in Europe.”

You laughed, watching him carry your luggage, his luggage, duffel bags, all while you held your backpack.

“Yeah… I’m really struggling over here.” you said, rolling your eyes.

You had started wondering why you left the man down the road.

“Paul is your dad?”

“Yes” he said, making eye contact behind you then trailing up ahead.

“Andreas... is your brother?”

The gravel crunch from his feet stopped. He let out a soft laugh, proceeding towards the road.

“Andreas is my name schatz.”

“What......” you said so softly

You stopped

“What do you mean your name is Andreas?”

He laughed, shaking his head. The crinkles in his eyes forming.

“You know this, you saw my drivers license.”

You sucked your cheeks in, realizing your mistake.

“Actually my name is whatever pet name you call me, I never call you by your real name.”

“All this time I thought your name was König and your last name was Andreas…”

He laughed harder this time, adjusting the duffle bags on his arms.

“Schatz, my mother calls me Andy!”

“I thought it was because Toy Story was your favorite movie…”

He holds in his laughter.

“Come on, schatz, or should I call you by your first name?”

You roll your eyes, embarrassment flooding your face as you walk behind him.

Andreas…

*

He guides you down a road, towards a medium-sized house.

It was a two story white house with brown accents. The roof was made of wood. Behind the house was a small hill. The house had several windows in front, a pointed roof, and a small garden in front of it. The fencing around it was made with wood, as its pillars were made of stone.

You tried to picture König walking from school everyday to his house, working on the garden like he did at home, or even just him sitting outside from the balcony, watching people walk by as he talked to his mom about life.

“Nobody’s home, thank god.” Konig snapped you from your imagination.

Leading you into the house, you stepped foot in the living room.

The living room was adorned with several awards in ice hockey and soccer, and many “serious” kid photos. There were two couches placed around a rectangular coffee table.

“I’m taking your bags into my room, make yourself at home.”

You continued to admire all his awards in ice hockey. His photos where he’s off to the side with "friends." He’s never smiling in any of them.

It reminds you of his photos –chiseled face, eyebrows pulled together delivering a menacing look.

“Schatz.. come here please.”

You follow his voice up the stairs and down a hallway. There’s a door at the end of the hall painted black, with a gold doorknob.

You enter his room and are immediately filled with curiosity.

His room is covered with posters of Batman.

There’s a small bed in front of you, above it there’s a shelf where two buildings are built out of random legos. You notice one is Wayne Tower, and the other is Arkham Asylum.

Behind you is a desk with a computer, old notebooks, piles of CD’s, and a teenage picture of him and his mom at a park.

You admire the room around you.

He sits on his bed, looking comically huge compared to it.

“I’ve ordered a bigger bed, but I'll need to assemble it. We can stay in the guest room tonight.”

You don’t listen to what he says, just stare around the room.

Suddenly, it clicks.

“Batman wears a mask…Is that your inspiration?”

He exhales, his face turning red.

“Uh, yes, I think so. I think Batman was one of my favorites. I haven’t been here since I was seventeen.”

He brushes it off.

He grabs you towards him, hugging you from the waist, then places his head on you. He exhales, like he’s been holding his breath on this entire trip.

You rub his hair back, scratching parts of his scalp to relieve him.

He speaks softly.

“I just get so much anxiety coming back here.”

“You’re okay, I'm here, we don't have to do anything you don’t want.”

He looks up at you, his bottom lip captured between his teeth, his eyes shift from your eyes to your lips. He stands up, guiding his hands from your waist to your head, entangling them in your hair bringing you into a kiss.

His kiss is hungry, sloppy, like when he greets you after a mission that went too long for his liking. He sucks on your tongue, pulling you in closer, then elicits a moan where he begins to suck on your bottom lip. He keeps making a mess of your lips, as his hands guide down to your ass, bringing you in closer, squeezing and putting his finger right where he would finger you from behind.

He stops, pulling away, just as you’re out of breath, looking up at him, dizzy from all the love.

“Thanks” you say.

“I’m sorry, I just never thought I would be back here… with someone.” His lips are swollen and wet.

“Just fulfilling a fantasy you always had?”

He smirks, and doesn’t answer.

“I’ll get started on the bed, we have dinner with my mom tonight so you should get ready.”

*

You had been fidgeting with the rings on your fingers. He stationed the car a little further away.

He turned towards you. Seeing you fidget, emotionless.

“You have nothing to be scared of. My mom is very much like me.”

He grabs you, pulling you into a kiss before stepping out.

"I'm so happy you get to meet her."

You walk down towards the road, to a similar one story house.

König opens the door, and wonderful smells hit your nose.

There’s rustling in the kitchen, music playing from the tv.

“Andreas? Are you home?”

His mother comes out of the kitchen, smiling, eyeing you with adoration.

“Hello! So good to finally meet you!” she walks towards you embracing you in a hug.

“I am Andreas' mom, my name is Anna.” She rubs the sides of your arms, tears clouding her eyes. She looks at your face, bringing your hands into hers and holding them. There's so much softness to her.

“It’s so nice to meet you Anna” you say. You’re taken aback a bit. She receives you with so much love, almost as if you’ve met before.

“Come in! Come in! Let us sit in the kitchen while we wait for Walter.”

She guides you to the kitchen, holding your hand completely ignoring König.

König whispers to you: "Wait for Walter?"

“Please have a seat with me, the roast is almost done.”

Anna is a tall woman, she has white hair that comes down to her shoulders. Her skin looks soft, with small wrinkles around her eyes. Her upper lip has wrinkles making her look like she’s been pouting or sucking on a lemon.

“Ja…. Hi mama? Your son is here too!”

She side-eyes König.

“Well if you wanted me to acknowledge you, you should’ve put her on FaceTime the first time I asked.”

König smiles, taking the seat next to you.

“I’m not going to start with you.”

Her boyfriend comes out. He’s a man just as tall as her. He’s got a more stocky build to him. He wears thick framed glasses that sit on a small nose. He’s dressed casually, a button up with jeans, and loafers. However when he enters the room, it’s like he radiates warmth.

“Hello! Anna, why didn’t you say guests arrived?”

The man puts his hand out, König doesn’t stand up with you.

You shake his hand introducing yourself.

“Wonderful name, my name is Walter.”

Anna gets up, ready to serve dinner. She looks at you,

“Do you mind helping me in the kitchen?”

Once in the kitchen, you realize her food still isn’t ready.

She’s smiling, bombarding you with questions. Her cheeks are pink, from the heat of the oven.

“I need the FULL story. Where did you meet!? Are you involved in the military too?

No actually we met at a grocery store.

“What was your first date like?”

He took me to the observatory…

“I love that ring, I have many stones you should take home with you! I don't wear them I just have them stored away.”

No no! I couldn’t.

“Does Andreas work too much? I told him he needs to stay home with you.”

He tries to stay for longer periods of time, but—

You were cut off, König coming into the kitchen.

“Don’t scare her please this is the only one who has stuck around.”

He sneaks his arm around you, rubbing your shoulder.

She sees how you two fit together. It gives her an idea.

“Andreas! Let me get a photo for my album.”

She runs out of the room quickly, König whispers—

“She left me in the kitchen on purpose so I could talk to Walter.”

“Well what did you say? Kind of rude not to stand up when he offered his hand” —

His mom returns, an iPad in her hands.

“I can put this on my Facebook!”

“Mama why the iPad when we can take it in the phone?”

“Stop it! Now smile!”

She takes several photos, then has you pick which one you like best.

“Oh my friends love to see Andreas! I haven’t posted a photo since he left for the military…. I also never seen him smile this big before!”

König turns red, remembering how much he actually hated photos.

Anna guides you back to the kitchen where she tells stories of König as a child as you have dinner.

How small he was when he was born, fragile, breaking bones almost every year since he could walk.

He then randomly had a growth spurt when he went to high school.

When he cried because there were six other kids in his class who dressed as Batman for Halloween and he thought his mother wouldn’t recognize him at pick up.

When he wrote a poem for his project but got so anxious he cried all night and ended up missing school the next day.

How his brother was mean to him because he was always the taller one, König was smaller.

All memories he’s told you before but with less details.

Was his brother still taller? You couldn’t even imagine someone bigger than your boyfriend.

As Walter cleared up the dishes, Anna brought you to the living room.

She had already positioned a small cookie platter with a variety of biscuits, fruits, and sugary crackers.

“Walter please make coffee.” She yelled out.

There were many pictures of König positioned in her living room. He had a pout as a child, his eyes sad, and cheeks round.

He looked as if he had finished crying and his mother took the picture immediately.

Then you eyed it, a picture of all of them.

“Is this… your dad and brother?”

König stepped behind you.

“Yeah that’s me, Elias is behind me, my mom and dad.”

“Elias? Like Uncle Elias?”

“Yes, my brother was named after him. His first name is Paul, but we call him Elias.”

He paused for a moment.

“Elias thought he would never have kids because he was gay. So my mom named my brother after him.”

Anna pulled you into a hug again from behind.

“I am just so happy!”

“Mama stop. You’re scaring her.”

“You never bring one girl or boy to the house! I can smother this one.”

You gather around the living room. Swapping stories you two living together—the raccoon that entered the house, the garden König tends to, your library of books that he promises will make a bookshelf for.

His mom sits like a child, wide eyed, indulging in the stories you tell.

König interjects once in a while to give his side of the story or says things like

“Did it happen that way? I could’ve sworn it was—“

His mother hushes him, focusing on you.

It’s around 1 in the morning before König finally has had enough.

“Mama, we have to go. The funeral is early tomorrow.”

“Stay here for the night!” She begs, her eyebrows furrowing loving your company.

“No mama, you know we don’t have things here.”

König is tired, eyes bloodshot red weighing down his cheeks.

“Fine, but it’s not any trouble. Walter, please bring me my box.”

Walter walks down the hallway, appearing with a golden box.

His mom opens the box, searching for a gold necklace.

It’s when you see what she’s doing that you immediately decline.

“You don’t have to give me anything! You say, objecting the gift in her hand.

You can feel König's hand on your lap, reassuring you it's okay.

“I don’t have to, schatzi, but I want to. I cannot express how much happiness you’ve brought my son and now me.”

She rummages around the box, pairing small stones with the gold necklace but nothing satisfies her… until she sees it.

Her mouth smiles so big as she eyes you.

The necklace she presents you has a teardrop pendant. The stone in the middle is a radiant blue topaz.

She walks behind you, lifting your hair aside.

“When Andreas was born, he was born during the last month of the year. I think postpartum hit me the hardest this time around because I knew my son would be lonely, little, and I was very sad….”

She locks the necklace behind you, smoothing your hair down.

"Uncle Elias gave me this necklace in the hospital after seeing how small Andreas was after delivery. He said the stone was as strong as he would be."

“Andreas father had shamed me for giving birth prematurely, I was all alone fighting for him and myself….”

“And now I can see he’s not lonely anymore, he is not small anymore, and I am no longer sad but fulfilled.”

You stand up to hug her, she squeezes you, like you’ve been her best friend all these years.

“I am so happy you were born because it means there was a friend out there for my son.”

König interjects —“A friend who kisses me on the lips.” Rolling his eyes.

His mother swats him on the head speaking in German.

“OKAY I’m sorry. I’m just tired.”

“Go home get some rest. I will see you tomorrow at the funeral.”

As you walk to the car, you can’t help but think about how lonely the world must have been for him. How much it meant for someone to come home to his mom to reassure her that he was not alone in this world anymore.

[bnhaobservation]

How the Todorokis call each other (Part 1)

So since I researched for it for my fic here are a bit of the words the Todorokis use to call/talk about themselves and each other in the Japanese manga (occasionally comparing it with the English translation).

Note that I won’t report names that are too general (when one of the children talks of them as his father ('chichi' 父) or his mother ('haha' 母) or when they refers to their family ('kazoku' 家族) and that sometimes, in English, the characters seemed to call someone in a certain way but the same didn’t apply in Japanese.

In order to make things simple I’ll group the characters when a Japanese term is used multiple times, so as to explain what it means only once. In part 2, as well as ending with the list of ways they call each others, I’ll put a summary for each character, so that if you want to know what a specific character use, you can do it more quickly.

Just remember the Todorokis, being a family, tend to use casual speech to talk among them, so they use many words which would be rude if they were to use them with other people but which are perfectly okay between family members. Also in the Japanese family hierarchy, Enji is above his children and wife, Rei is above her children and, in regard to the children, older siblings are above younger siblings.

It's worrth to say I’m not Japanese. The explanations of Japanese terms come from me reading plenty of Japanese dictionaries and grammars but I might have done mistakes or missed something... or missed some way the Todorokis used to refer to each other (as there's actually plenty of quotes). Consider yourself warned and feel welcome to write me if you think I missed something.

HOW DO THEY SAY “I”

Ore (俺/おれ Lit. “Oneself”)

In normal situations all the Todoroki males use ‘ore’.

This term is the most casual form of self-address used by men, which establishes a sense of masculinity. It can be seen as rude, depending on the context, as it’s suitable for conversations among close friends or relatives but not in polite conversation. It emphasizes one’s own status when used with peers and with those who are younger or of lesser status. Among close friends or family, its use conveys familiarity rather than masculinity or superiority. It was used by both genders until the late Edo period and still is in some dialects.

It’s notable how Tōya used ‘ore’ even before Natsuo’s birth so when he was 4 or younger (Natsuo was born after he turned 4). Very likely, despite being so young, he was copying his father’s speech pattern.

Watashi (私/わたし Lit. “One own person”)

If the male Todorokis use ‘ore’, the female Todorokis use ‘watashi’.

Don’t mistake ‘watashi’ for a female only way to say “I”. Only in casual speech, it is typically only used by women because if used by men in casual context it may be perceived as either stiff or feminine however, in formal or polite contexts, this is gender neutral (for example All Might uses it, his catchphrase “I am here” in Japanese is ‘watashi ga kita’ 私が来た lit. “I have arrived”).

That’s also why in chap 306, when speaking with the press, Enji switches to ‘watashi’ so as to sound as polite/formal as possible (before switching to ‘ore’ again when he tells them to watch him) and, in the anime, they also had him use ‘watashi’ in episode 46 when he answered to the phone so as to convey he was being formal/polite.

Boku (僕/ぼく Lit. “Servant”)

Used by males of all ages and very often used by boys (for example Midoriya uses ‘boku’ hence the title ‘Boku no Hero Academia’… but All for One also uses it so it’s not just for boys), ‘boku’ is perceived as humble and therefore polite, but can also carry an undertone of feeling young when used by males of older age. In addition to this it’s also used when casually giving deference.

Why I included ‘boku’ in this list if I said all the Todoroki males use ‘ore’?

Well, we actually have some exceptions in which they used ‘boku’.

Differently from Tōya who used ‘ore’ from a very young age, Shōto as a child of 5, used ‘boku’, likely not having the wish to emulate his father’s speech pattern. Interesting enough we know however that Tōya, as an adult, used ‘boku’ when he made his whole speech to the nation which was transmitted during the final stage of the Paranormal Liberation War Arc as, during it, he changed his normally rude speech pattern for one much more polite and humble.

Lastly, although not really a Todoroki but still related to them in a fashion (he’s probably a cousin from Rei’s side since he’s also an Himura), Geten regularly uses ‘boku’.

Their own name

Normally used by small children it’s however also a very feminine and kind of childish way to refer to oneself.

Fuyumi, before Natsuo’s birth therefore when she was 3 or younger, used not ‘watashi’ but ‘Fuyumi’ to refer to herself.

Kono (この “This”) + their own name or personal pronoun

In chap 55 when Enji tells to Gran Torino he will be enough to beat the Nōmu, Enji uses ‘kono Endeavor’ (このエンデヴァー “This Endeavor”). In English this comes out odd and, considering what was said before, you might think it’s either childish or girlish but in this case, with the addition of ‘kono’ the sentence actually remarks the name in a “no one else but Endeavor can do it” way. In the same way in chap 154, when Enji uses this time ‘kono ore’ to tell Hawks if he really believed he was in troubles,  it remarks ‘me’ although this time is in the opposite way as to imply “everyone else but him would be in troubles”.

FATHER (父) AND MOTHER (母)

There are various ways in Japanese to say “father” and “mother” that vary for levels of politeness.

Okā-san (お母さん/おかあさん “Mother”)

The addition of the initial ‘o’ (お) and the ‘–san’ (さん) at the end tell us this is a polite way to refer to her, although, since it’s the most common way to call your mother in Japan, even though technically it’s closer to “mother”, it’s perfectly fine to translate it as “mom”, which is currently the most common way to call your mother in English. Note that ‘okā-san’ can also be used to talk about someone else’s mother or for your mother-in-law. Rei is referred as such by all her children, regardless of their age, and even calls herself as such when talking with a young Tōya. Plus this is also how she calls her mother. In the English manga occasionally you also see her called as “mommy” but in Japanese she’s always called ‘okā-san’ only and not in a less formal way (kā-san, okā-chan, kā-chan, mama) and the choice to occasionally translate ‘okā-san’ as “mommy” is likely because the translator felt it would be more fitting for a young child to use it.

Kā-san (お母さん/おかあさん “Mother”)

Same as before but the lack of the initial ‘o’ makes it slightly less polite/formal. It's how Enji calls Rei when talking with Fuyumi. Natsuo will also call Rei as such when telling Enji not to stay close to her and the others or he'll only heat them up further in chap 421. Interesting enough, it's also how Īda calls his mother, even though the English version goes for a more formal "mother".

Otō-san (お父さん/おとうさん “Father”)

This is the equivalent to ‘okā-san’ for fathers … but it’s not equally popular as ‘okā-san’ in the Todoroki house. Like ‘okā-san’, 'otō-san' would be closer to "father" but it's okay to translate it "dad" and the English translator occasionally decided to translate it as "daddy" when it was a small child using it. Notably, of all of Enji’s children, only Tōya and Fuyumi still use it, while Shōto, as a child of 5, used it but now doesn’t anymore. Also Rei called Enji as such when talking with a young Tōya.

Oyaji (親父/おやじ “Father” or “Old man” lit. “parent father”)

This is a rather nuanced word. Let’s say it’s a more colloquial-sounding way to say “father” which can also used to refer to middle-aged or elderly men. It’s not exactly rude (though some Japanese people consider it as such) but it’s definitely very informal, similar to saying “my old man” in English but (often) without an affection. Again, it's nuanced and depends on the contest. Within one’s own family, teenage and older children, especially males, tend to start using the term to address their fathers at home. In public though, older children will typically call their own fathers ‘otō-san’. Using such word in many cases gives a ‘rough guy’ vibe. Teenager Shōto uses it to talk with or about Enji, regardless he's at home or not, and he’s clearly doing it because he refuse to show him respect, opposite to how he still call Rei ‘Okā-san’ instead than the ‘oyaji’ equivalent, ‘ofukuro’ (お袋). This contrasts sharply with Tōya, who instead regularly uses ‘otō-san’ (though if he does so in a mocking way or as a call back to the past since the past never dies it’s up to speculation) and uses ‘oyaji’ only in a couple of circumstances (chap 301 and 390). In chap 301 he’s clearly trying to keep distance from him as he speaks to himself since he calls him ‘oyaji’ and ‘Todoroki Enji’ instead than his usual ‘otō-san’. In chap 390 he’s being deliberately as rude as possible as he tells him to die. More about it later. It's possible Natsuo would also use 'oyaji' to call Enji, though so far we only saw him either calling him by his Hero name or using 'anta' (あんた) to call him. More about it later.

BIG BROTHER (兄) AND BIG SISTER (姉)

Same as with “father” and “mother” there are various ways in Japanese to say “big brother” and “big sister” that vary for levels of politeness. Note that in theory in a Japanese family the children aren’t all equal but older siblings are hierarchically higher than younger siblings and younger siblings own them respect.

Nē-chan (姉ちゃん)/Nē-san (姉さん)/Onē-chan (お姉ちゃん)

‘Nē’ (姉) is the word used for “big sister”. It can be used alone or after the name of the person in question and the level of politeness changes according to the suffixes and prefixes used. ‘O’ (お “honorable”) gives an extra layer of politeness, '-san' (さん) is your standard polite suffix (when added to a name is generally translated as “Mr.”, “Mrs.”) while –chan (ちゃん) is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment.

Natsuo calls Fuyumi ‘nē-chan’, which is clearly familiar and affectionate, but Shōto calls her ‘nē-san’, therefore sounding more polite and distant. This can reflect the fact that Natsuo grew up closer to Fuyumi and is also closer in age compared to Shōto but might also be a reflection of how they were raised. When Rei told Natsuo to protect his big sister in chap 388, she told him to protect his ‘onē-chan’ (the ‘o’ adds a tone of politeness, but likely Rei always uses it as a way for Rei to remind Natsuo to be polite with his older sister), therefore she might have encouraged him to use a more endearing and close term for his sister, something she might not have done with Shōto merely because he wasn’t allowed to interact with Fuyumi (and the rest of his siblings) when Rei was living with them. In chap 192 Fuyumi calls herself his ‘nē-san’ when talking with Shōto, likely because after Rei left she took up a mother role to him and Shōto might have ended up calling her as such in response. Enji also, when talking with Natsuo, used ‘nē-san’ to talk about Fuyumi and he might have done the same with Shōto so that he ended up doing the same.

Nī (兄)/Nī-chan (兄ちゃん)/Nī-san (兄さん)/Aniki (兄貴)

‘Nī’ (兄) is the word used for “big brother”. The level of politeness changes according to the suffixes and prefixes used, same as ‘Nē’. Now… Tōya is called just ‘Tōya Nī’ by all his siblings and Shōto calls Natsuo ‘Natsu Nī’ as well, no suffixes or prefixes attached. Using just ‘Nī’ it’s very informal and childish but it started likely due to Fuyumi and Tōya being very close in age (11 months of difference) and therefore being allowed to a lower level of formality. Since Shōto was kept apart from his siblings and this lead Rei to stay away from her other children to take care of him as well, Natsuo likely copied Fuyumi’s way to call Tōya and, eventually, Shōto ended up doing the same with both his older brothers despite not being close to them, probably merely because he mimicked the way they talked. Note that when talking to Shōto in chap 34, Enji referred to Tōya as his big brother, he called Tōya his ‘nī-san’. Tōya instead referred to himself as his ‘nī-chan’ twice when talking with Shōto, which could have been mocking but could have also been the way he used to refer to himself with his siblings as a kid. In chap 388 and in chap 244/350 Natsuo and Shōto, when arguing with Tōya drops the childish and familiar ‘nī’, which would be unfitting of the situation, and switch to ‘aniki’ (兄貴). ‘Aniki’ is still a way you can use to call your older brother (‘ani’ is another way to read the kanji for “big brother” (兄) and '-ki' (貴), when added after nouns related to people expresses love and respect) but it’s considered less formal than ‘onī-san’/‘nī-san’, yet not endearing or childish like ‘nī’/‘nī-chan’/‘onī-chan’ as it has a rough note (kind of like ‘oyaji’). It’s notable they don’t use just ‘aniki’ but add a pejorative. Natsuo goes for a ‘KUSO aniki’ (クソ兄貴 “shitty/damn big brother”) while Shōto, who is less close to his big brother, goes for a tamer ‘baka aniki’ (馬鹿兄貴 “stupid older brother”). More about this though, later on.

YOUNGER BROTHERS AND YOUNGER SISTERS

Normally they’re referred just by name, however in Fuyumi and Natsuo’s case they actually have the equivalent of ‘pet names’ of some sort.

Tōya calls Fuyumi ‘Fuyumi-chan’ (冬美ちゃん) and Natsuo ‘Natsu-kun’ (夏くん). As said before ‘-chan’ is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment and, in case it’s attached to the name, is used from older person to younger person. You might want to translate it something like “little Fuyumi” or “dear Fuyumi”. As for Natsuo… ‘-kun’ (君/くん) is usually used for addressing males younger than the speaker. Boys in the same age group can call each other with ‘-kun’ (Midoriya, for example, adds ‘–kun’ to the surname of all his male classmates… while Shōto instead calls them simply by surname). Sometimes male office workers call their younger female colleagues with it. This is not rude but a sign of familiarity. You might want to translate it something like “young Natsu” but just "Natsu" would be fine as well. Interesting enough while Fuyumi calls Natsuo just ‘Natsu’, Rei also calls him ‘Natsu-kun’, Natsuo being the only one among her kids she doesn’t call just with his full name. Shōto is the only one of the younger Todoroki kids who didn't have a suffix attached when called by his older siblings. As said before, being called something different by just your name is not mandatory but it's possible in Shōto's case this is not happening due to him being kept away from them or due to Tōya having been the one who decided the 'pet names' for his younger siblings.

HUSBAND AND WIFE

Again, there are various ways for a husband to call his wife and vice versa.

In Enji’s case though he commonly refers to/calls his wife as just ‘Rei’ and calls her ‘tsuma’ (妻 “wife”) only once, when talking about her and his children in chap 248.

Another common Japanese way to refer to your husband/wife is by calling them "you" (the wife would use ‘anata’ (あなた), the husband would use 'omae' (おまえ)). This often gets translated as "dear" in English manga.

In Rei’s case she usually calls Enji ‘anata’ (あなた), although, for obvious reasons, in the English manga in this case it doesn't get translated as "dear". In Enji's case he occasionally uses 'omae' for her, but since 'Rei' is his default way to call her and 'omae' is his default "you" pronoun for all his family, very likely his 'omae' with her isn't more meaningful than an ordinary "you". More about "you" later on.

Interesting enough in some houses once children are born, the parents start calling each other ‘Otō-san’ and ‘Okā-san’ and when talking with a young Tōya about Enji, Rei called Enji ‘Otō-san’ while Enji, when talking with Fuyumi, calls Rei ‘Kā-san’ but here it was likely done because they were talking with their children about the other parent and not because they are used to call each other in such way.

Interesting enough Nao didn’t use ‘anata’ for her husband but ‘Kotarō-san’.

THE CHILDREN

Enji refers to all his children by first name, while Rei does the same for all her children except Natsuo whom she calls ‘Natsu-kun’.

Both parents, when wanting to talk about their children without saying their name call them either ‘ko’ (子) or ‘kodomo’ (子ども). Both mean child (and can be pluralized) but 'ko’ (子) is a more general term for a child, which is often used in a neutral or formal context (even when the child is actually an adult) while ‘kodomo’ (子ども) is a more specific and inclusive term commonly used to refer to children in a more affectionate or informal way or to emphasize the innocence and vulnerability of children, often used in educational or parenting contexts (and, in the manga, generally used to refer to the Todoroki kids when they were… well, kids). I know I said I wouldn't mention nouns that are too general but, in this case, I’m mentioning all this because, although Enji has no problems in referring to his children as 'ko’ (子) in chap 31, while talking with All Might, Enji referred to Shōto as ‘ko’ (仔) which sounds the same as “child” (子 'ko’) but the kanji he uses is not the usual one for “child” (子) but this one (仔) which means “offspring” and, normally, is used for “young animals/cubs” or “young plants/seedlings”. It’s possible Enji is using it because, when he does, Horikoshi wants us to get the idea Enji is basically talking of how Shōto was breed and raised for the purpose of defeating All Might, as if he were some sort of racehorse, the full sentence being the following:

‘Kore dake oboe toke. ARE ha… izure kisama wo mo koeru HERO ni suru. Sō surubeku… tsukutta ko da’ 「これだけ覚えとけ。アレは…いずれ貴様をも越えるヒーローにする。そうするべく………つくった仔だ」 “Just remember this. That one we’re talking about… I’ll make him a hero that will surpass you someday. In order to do that… I had/trained/created that child.”

THE GRANPARENTS

In chap 31, when talking about his grandparents Shōto called them ‘haha no shinzoku’ (母の親族 “mother’s relatives”).

'Haha' is the word you use with people outside your group to talk about your mother.

'Shinzoku' (親族) is, under Japanese law, a term that refers to people who we are related to by blood or marriage (you can translate it also as "clan") so yes, it might not necessarily means Rei's parents. It's worth to remember the Himura were an important family with a family head who might not have necessarily be Rei's father (it could have been her grandfather or even her father's male heir), though, due to Geten's story and the scene we saw in chap 301 that in the Himura family the "family head" (当主 ‘tōshu’) was Rei's father.

By the way, the Todorokis instead mention often the 'kazoku' (家族 "family") which is the family unit formed by a married couple and their children.

Shōto might refer in such a formal way to his grandparents either because he's not close to them or because he's talking with Midoriya.

In chap 302 when he refers to his grandparents Tōya called them ‘Obā-chan-tachi’ (おばあちゃん達 “grandma and the others”).

The ‘o’ (お “honorable”) in 'obā-chan' gives an extra layer of politeness while '–chan' (ちゃん) is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment. By using '-chan' and singling out his grandmother (who unlikely was the family head) instead than his grandfather Tōya sounds close to her.

It's possible though his grandfather died when he was younger, hence he referred to his grandmother.

For more about the Himura you might want to read my post about the Himura family.

WHO WORKS FOR THE TODOROKIS

In chap 302 Enji says he’ll hire more ‘shiyōnin’ (使用人 “servant/employee”).

In chap 249 Natsuo calls the person who used to cook for them ‘otetsuta’ (お手伝 “helper/maid”).

Enji, in his role as Hero, has also an 'untenshu' (運転手 "driver"), Kurumada Untenmaru, but we don't know how Enji or the other Todorokis call him, just that Kurumada calls Enji 'Endeavor' (and 'No.1' in the OAV) and uses 'anta' (あんた) with him (more about 'anta' later on), while he calls 'jarinko' (ジャリンコ) Shōto, Midoriya and Bakugō.

'Jarinko' (ジャリンコ/じゃりんこ/じゃりん子/砂利子) is an old fashioned word used to call a "student who can't keep up in school" but it's also used to say just "brat".

In theory, more than to the Todoroki family, Kurumada is connected to the Hero world, but since, according to his profile, he knows Enji by a looong time (and is one year older than him) I thought to include him as well.

HEROES AND VILLAINS

In Enji, Tōya and Shōto’s case, in addition to their own name they also have their Hero/Villain monikers, 'Endeavor' (エンデヴァー), 'Dabi' (荼毘 "cremation") and 'Shōto' (ショート yes, same as his name but written in katakana instead than kanji)… plus Enji also is defined by his ranking (‘No.2’ first, ‘No.1’ after). In some circumstances the family uses such names instead than the usual way they call them.

Interesting enough though, when Shōto interns under Enji, Enji calls him with his Hero name (which is still 'Shōto' but written in katakana so you can’t really notice it in the anime but it’s visible in the manga) and of course he called Tōya 'Dabi' until he discovered he was his son. After that moment he always called him just Tōya and I couldn’t find an instance in which he called him ‘Dabi’ again.

In fact, even after waking up in the hospital, Enji wants to say Endeavor is dead since he can’t kill a ‘Tairyō satsujin-sha’ (大量殺人者 “mass murderer”) (aka Tōya) but what he voices is instead he can’t kill his ‘musuko’ (むすこ) which means “son” (息子) and, when he finally fights Tōya, he ends up seeing him as the kid he was... making him unable to make a distinction between Tōya and Dabi. Once he acknowledges that Dabi IS indeed Tōya, he won't be able to go back see him as Dabi or call him as such, differently from others of his family members.

We never see Rei calling Enji 'Endeavor' but we see her calling Tōya 'Dabi' once, when she tells her husband he must fight him (during the rest of the discussion she called him 'Tōya' or 'ano ko' (あの子 “that child”))... as calling him 'Dabi' probably helps her to distance herself from how she's asking Enji to fight their son (Chap 302).

Natsuo called his father 'Endeavor' in chap 249, during the dinner at which Midoriya and Bakugō were invited. This seems to remark his wish not to acknowledge Enji as his father but as a stranger.

Natsuo also refers to his brother as 'Dabi' in chap 302, but more as something that was created more than as his brother, as he's also likely trying to distance himself from the idea Tōya and Dabi are one and the same.

At the same time Shōto called his father 'Endeavor' during the Stain case when asking to other Heroes about him (chap 55) and during his internship (chap 249), in short when he needed to acknowledge him as a Hero.

As for Tōya, of course Shōto called him 'Dabi' before the reveal. After the reveal, in chap 349 Shōto, before fighting Tōya, starts calling his brother just ‘Tōya’ (without the ‘nī’ (兄) which is kind of rude) then decides to switch to ‘Dabi’, either to acknowledge him as a Villain or to keep emotional distance from him. We know also that in the flashback in chap 352 called 'Dabi' his family's sin.

Tōya isn’t really prone to call Enji 'Endeavor' and does so only in few notable situations:

- prior to becoming Dabi, solely when telling Enji to look at him before attacking Shōto as a child (chap 301);

- when facing Enji as Dabi after Enji’s fight with the Nōmu (chap 190);

- when denouncing Enji on tv (Chap 290);

- during the Paranormal Liberation War when he attacked him (chap 292)... although during the battle he alternated calling him 'Endeavor' and 'otō-san';

- when he repeated what Skeptic told him, that Endeavor was at Gunga... but what's meaningful here is that the reading for 'Endeavor' is given as 'otō-san' (chap 374).

This seems to imply Tōya uses 'Endeavor' solely when he's talking to/about/him in his role as a Hero.

On the other side Tōya never calls Shōto with his Hero name… even though, of course, since it matches with his normal name, no one can realize it.

Now... I said the family tries to distance the idea that Tōya IS Dabi by calling him Dabi... but credits when it's due, Tōya himself said that Tōya died and Dabi was born so he too is keeping the two identities parted in a way... albeith he has no problems to refer himself as 'Tōya' and be called as such, both by his family and by Himeko, who switches on calling him from 'Dabi-kun' to 'Tōya-kun', so more than identities, we should probably say he means the person he once was 'died', as he started aiming for different things and behaving differently.

Not quite Todorokis but still related to them, in chap 301 the Himura family head who’s likely Rei’s father, called Enji ‘Endeavor-sama’ (エンデヴァー様) and ‘Top Hero-Sama’ (トップヒーロー様) instead than using his civilian name.

'-sama' (様/さま) is much more formal and polite than just '-san', to the point it’s sometimes translated as “lord”/”lady”.

The fact that the Himura family head is using it underlines how high he thinks of Endeavor, for being such an important Hero.

Enji also gets called 'No.2' and then 'No. 1' after he rises to the position. Shōto in chap 31, calls him 'mannen No. 2 no HERO' (万年No.2のヒーロー "eternal No. 2 Hero"). Then after he becomes No.1 Natsuo refers to him as such in chap 192, Shōto does so in chap 247, and Tōya does so in chap 191 and 231. In chap 191 Tōya also called him ‘No. 1 hero-san’ (No.1ヒーローさん), when telling him goodbye and that they’ll have a chance to talk again... though the politeness here is probably an attempt at sarcasm.

In chap 290 Enji himself defined himself ‘kono kuni no Top Hero’ (この国のトップヒーロー “this country Top Hero”).

Also I’m placing it here, though I doubt Rei is referring to his Hero role but to how Shōto managed to positively react to all he went through (differently from the rest of the family so he's kind of like a role model to them)… still in chap 302 Rei says Shōto is the ���Todoroki-ke no HERO’ (轟家のヒーロー “Todoroki’s family Hero”) but the reading given is ‘Uchi no HERO’ (ウチ のヒーロー “our own family’s hero”).

YOU

Polite Japanese speech requires not the use of “you” but the use of a person’s name. However the Todorokis are a family, they talk to each other in an informal way and so they do use also “you” to talk with each other.

Anata (あなた,貴方, 貴男, 貴女 Lit. “precious toward”)

This is the only second person pronoun comparable to English “you”, yet still not used as often in this universal way by native speakers, as it can be considered having a condescending undertone, especially towards superiors. For expressing “you” in formal contexts, using the person’s name with an honorific is more typical (Hawks tends to use 'Endeavor-san' when talking with Enji and switches to 'anata' only when he doesn't want to repeat 'Endeavor-san'.... and while she uses just 'Endeavor' or 'Hawks', when she has to say "you" the Chairman of the Hero Public Safety Committee uses 'anata' as well). More commonly, ‘anata’ may be used when having no information about the addressed person; also often used as “you” in commercials, when not referring to a particular person. Furthermore, commonly used by women to address their husband or lover, in a way roughly equivalent to the English “dear”. Rei uses always ‘anata’ to talk with Enji but, of course, due to their (poor) relation, we never see it as being translated as “dear” in the English manga.

Omae (おまえ/お前/御前 Lit. “polite front”)

This is the “you” everyone in the Todoroki family uses. Of course it comes with a nuance. If used to talk with people outside the family it’s used by men with more frequency and expresses the speaker’s higher status or age, or a very casual relationship among peers. Often used with ‘ore’ it can be very rude if said to elders. Commonly used by men to address their wife or lover, paralleling the female use of ‘anata’. Of course, since the Todorokis are a family, they use it with each other and it’s not meant to be rude (and yes, occasionally Enji used it with Rei though it’s not as recurring as she uses ‘anata’ so it might not have the same nuance)… and since the male Todorokis are rough, tough males who use ‘ore’ they also use it with people that’s outside the family but in this case it’s actually kind of rude (notable how Geten for example uses it with Dabi during their fight).

Anta (あんた/アンタ)

Contraction of ‘anata’ is also generally not used as it’s considered too direct. Can express contempt, anger or familiarity towards a person. Sometimes it can be felt as more rude than ‘omae’ sometimes it’s the opposite. Generally seen as rude or uneducated when used in formal contexts. ‘Anta’ is often used among girls who want to act leading the guy a little bit forcely and scoldishly. There are a bunch of time in which ‘anta’ is used among the Todoroki family members and they’re all when a character is scolding another. We start with Fuyumi who, when scolding Natsuo in chap 187, calls him ‘anta’ (あんた), we continue with Natsuo who, when arguing/scolding Enji in chap 192 and 302 calls him ‘anta’ (あんた) and we finish with Shōto who, when arguing with Enji in chap 351 about who of them has to face Tōya calls him ‘anta’ (アンタ) to tell him he’s the only one who can face All for One. Yes, Shōto uses katakana which generally are used to underline the word, so it's possible it's done to remark how only Enji can do it but also to underline how Shōto, who's angry, is not using his usual ‘TemeE’ (てめエ) with his father but a tamer word. Interesting enough Tōya, or probably I should say in this case Dabi, uses ‘anta’ too, but not with his family member but with Ujiko in chap 350 both to refer just to him and to him and All for One ‘anta-ra’ (あんたら “you” (plural)). Dabi is an ‘omae’ guy who’s generally not polite but calls Ujiko ‘Ujiko-san’, so the fact for him he uses ‘anta’ and not ‘omae’ is probably meant to feel less rude that if he were to use ‘omae’. Another character connected to the Todoroki family who uses ‘anta’ is, as I've already said, Kurumada with Endeavor.

Temē/TemeE (てめえ/てめエ/手前 Lit. “the one in front of my hand”)

'Temē', a reduction of 'temae', is, according to some, the rudest way to say “you” even more rude than ‘Kisama’ (we’ll talk about it in a while) and it’s used when the speaker is very angry. It’s the sort of thing you might translate with “son of a b*tch” or some other insult along the line. Originally used for a humble first person, it’s an ateji, which means either the readings of the individual kanji do not match the reading of the word, or the meanings of the individual kanji do not match the meaning of the word. Shōto uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 34 when arguing with Enji (which makes notable how he’ll only use ‘anta’ much later on when arguing with him in chap 351) and again uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 292 when fighting with Tōya and Tōya also uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 351 when fighting with Shōto (in their previous fight he used ‘omae’ with him). The fact that the last ‘e’ is written in katakana instead than hiragana is often done to put emphasis on it.

For completeness sake I’ll report two other ways to say ‘you’ which some of the Todorokis use but not, as far as we know, with their family members.

Kimi (君/きみ Lit. “lord” (archaic))

It’s the kanji also used to write '-kun'. Informal to subordinates; can also be affectionate; formerly very polite. Among peers typically used with ‘boku’ (僕) (so, as you can easily guess it’s Midoriya’s “you” when he’s not using someone’s name). Often seen as rude or assuming when used with superiors, elders or strangers. Enji uses it when talking with Midoriya at the sport festival and when he observes how Midoriya too was one of them because he should have suffered for his Quirk, showing him some degree of politeness… but he will eventually switch on using ‘omae’ for him during the Dark Hero arc, which likely his meant to imply they gotten more familiar, not that he's being disrespectful.

Kisama (貴様/きさま Lit. "precious lord")

Historically very formal, but has developed in an ironic sense to show the speaker’s extreme hostility/outrage towards the addressee. It’s basically so rude/aggressive it often gets translated into “bastard/you bastard”. Enji uses it when talking with All Might, sometimes outright saying ‘kisama’, sometimes the furigana say ‘All Might’ but the kanji below say ‘kisama’ just to drive home the way Enji is saying ‘All Might’ is all but polite and all this is very rude as All Might isn’t just ranked above him but he’s older than him and a Hero by longer time so he definitely deserves more respect. Enji also calls ‘kisama-ra’ (it’s a plural form of ‘kisama’) Midoriya and Bakugō when they intern under him. This is actually interesting. He starts with ‘omae-tachi’ (it’s a plural form of ‘omae’) when he says he’ll supervise them, then switches to ‘kisama-ra’ when he tells Bakugō and Midoriya to tell him about themselves, then he moves to ‘kimi’ when he says since Midoriya too suffered for his Quirk he’s one of them… to go back to ‘kisama’ when he address Bakugō only… to switch again to ‘omae-tachi’ when he’s addressing the three of them… to go back to ‘kisama-ra’ when he tells them they’ve to gain experience working under him and uses ‘kisama-ra’ again when he tells Bakugō and Shōto he’ll give them the same assignment and also uses it to tell the three of them won’t impact on his work. Long story short, very likely that ‘kisama’ is solely meant to remark how they’re working under him. He also uses ‘kisama’ when he begins interacting with Hawks (who instead, as said before, uses 'Endeavor–san' and when he has to use “you” with him goes for ‘anata’ despite Hawks being an ‘ore’ guy), only to switch to ‘omae’ later on.

CONTINUE IN THE NEXT PART!

[cypionate60mg]

I’m honestly so thankful you and others are blogging like this. First group of people to take trans masculinity a step further than “but I swear I’m not scary.” Delight in masculinity makes observers so uncomfortable, even other trans people. The new soundbite going around is “choosing to be a man is not apolitical,” which lays bare pretty much all the ways masculinity is feared and reviled by the queer community except in pockets of people living as they please. It makes me sad that others can’t see what a joy it is to expose and pursue truth and joy.

Hmm. There's about a dozen of these sorts of asks in my inbox, so consider this an answer to all of them.

I'm picking up some underlying implications here ("even other trans people" and "feared and reviled by the queer community") that I want to address, whether or not you meant for them to come through.

It's perfectly understandable for people to be nervous around hypermasculinity. The network of oppression that gatekeeps masculinity and manhood (different things that it wants to preserve as a single unit) is the same one that abjectifies and objectifies anything deemed 'insufficiently masculine.' Make no mistake. This is a machine that suppresses all trans people, but it thrives on the subjugation of trans women, singling them out as moral lessons for the failures of society.

I'll go ahead and respond to the quiet part out loud: I think it's ludicrous to imagine that the transphobia trans men/transmascs experience is both separate and parallel to transmisogyny. The subordination of all women of various intersecting experiences is the oppressive power that hurts us. Indirectly or directly. That doesn't mean what we experience is transmisogyny, either. And I don't think the appropriate response to the intracommunity fear is to wield masculinity like a weapon unused. I don't want to move through the world like a knife.

In my life, personally, the people who have been most supportive and excited to see me experiment with masculinity have been trans women and transfems. I'm extremely skeptical of how our sisters are scapegoated for the transphobia we as trans men and transmascs face. There are, obviously, always going to be arguments within the community. People who hate the other. But I refuse to let that define my relationship with people who I have so much to gain from loving and working with.

There are absolutely ways to talk about how trans men and transmascs struggle. It is important to our survival that we discuss this. And if anybody is ready to have that conversation without placing the brunt of the blame on trans women, I'm ready.

Of course I get scared of cis men, of other trans men, of myself, of what people think of me. But that fear won't be resolved by demanding others give up their own fear. It's resolved by demonstrating that we can make something worthwhile out of a grotesque, absurd concept. One that is used to subjugate so many people. We do, unfortunately, have to prove ourselves. We have to make community and make good on our promises. We have to push each other to be better, while still taking care of the ones who can't. There have always been people who have taken trans masculinity further than 'I'm not scary', and we would do well to continue on the paths they've paved for us.

Masculinity is a bit of a ravaged landscape. A gender Superfund site. It is a place where many things do not grow, and there is an active effort to prevent things from blossoming there. I'm making these stupid captions because I am hopelessly optimistic that we can change something. It doesn't mean we will be free of criticism or won't face transphobia from other people. But fuck, man. I'm not fighting for this because I want to jack off to being an incel without being chided for it. I'm doing this because we need to have a serious conversation about what it means to take on masculinity. How to enter into a space that we weren't necessarily invited into and not fall for its bullshit. It's high fucking difficulty, that's for sure.

I'm sorry for being intense, but this shit gets me heated.

Side note: this soundbite hasn't crossed my path, so I don't have any opinion on it.

That's all I have to say for now. I don't really want to talk about this any further, unless we can hinge the conversation on a non-transmisogynistic talking point. I'm happy to turn off asks if people can't handle that.

Much love, CYP60MG

[vampziry]

void state: tips, affirmations, my experience and motivation.

⚠️ i don’t want to sound “rude”, but i will be very straightforward with all that i’m adding to this post, i want to be a help, not only for you, but for me too. i have encountered my fails and mistakes while practicing the void, i want to address them all below to help people analyze and wake them up.

number one: the victim mentality.

you have probably wondered in any point of your journey: why aren’t my desires here? i am doing everything that i can and they still aren’t here.

you probably don’t notice the problem while you’re thinking like this, your mind got tricked into thinking IT IS like that, you have assumed this for so long that your mind only knows that fact and it won’t change unless you decide to flip the thoughts.

you are wondering.

you are NOT accepting.

the moment you notice that you’re looking for a result to say it’s been working, you will see that you’re doing everything wrong. you are NOT SEARCHING. your desire IS HERE. you just need to switch that mentality and accept it is yours. as soon as your thoughts align with your new mentality and beliefs, your life will go better and you will manifest faster.

number two: the limiting beliefs.

no. you didn’t have any limiting beliefs in the first place until someone started to point them out. you think that because something worked in the way it did to another person, it would be the same for you.

N O.

you can be literally sitting, doing nothing, just thinking OF SOMETHING, and it can easily manifest if you assume it will. you do not need to do what x person did, you do not need to have a strict mental diet, you do not have to saturate your mind to the point you’re drained. you do not need to impress anyone, you do not even have to impress yourself.

why not? because a god knows their power and if a god knows the power they hold, they know that everything is easy and they can do anything cause they are a creator. they want a chair to appear in front of their eyes? sure, they can make it appear. they want to be a leader in everything they do? sure, they are a leader. they want to materialize whatever thing they are thinking in that exact moment? a piece of cake.

the moment you embody the god mindset and you start acting as if, you will mock yourself for wasting all that time doing nothing but complaining and running here and there asking bloggers for advice when you don’t even need that, all you need is: believing in yourself and know your true power.

number three: procrastinating, doubts and wavering.

you don’t have to worry about the why, where and how. it’s obvious that is because you deserve that, if you are wanting something is because you know by fact that you deserve it. the time, the date, it doesn’t matter. it is yours. you are that person you are wishing to become. you have that dream body. you have that dream house. you have all that money.

instead of scrolling down through success stories and feel happy about other success, you should be applying all that you have learned from them and their posts. you are the only one who is capable to change their fate and reality, if you decided to sit down and do nothing, how are you gonna make progress? how are you gonna see changes? it’s contradictory when we say that you can manifest while doing nothing, but it’s not the same nothing KNOWING and ASSUMING it’s yours than nothing NOT APPLYING and POSTPONING your desired life.

i want you to ask yourself: what am i doing? what is stopping me? why haven’t i done progress? and answer those questions with total sincerity. if you think you can’t achieve it, you are stopping yourself and your mind and it won’t manifest. if you flip the thought: i can achieve everything as soon as i set the intention for it, i deserve every one of my desires.

stay loyal to your assumptions, don’t doubt them, what you assume is what you’re gonna get.

number three: the void state.

we really love the idea of getting anything in an instant, it makes us feel untouchable. wrong. it doesn’t make us feel untouchable, WE ARE untouchable.

if you are complaining and saying things like: i don’t know why i am not entering the void, i do everything, i meditate, i affirm but i can’t even feel symptoms.

N O.

stop right there. you are assuming it, every void experience is different even though people describe it as the same, of course IT IS the same feeling but every experience is seen in another point of view. there are some times where you won’t even notice that you’re in.

you need to assume you always get in easily, you need to believe that it is easy. BECAUSE IT IS. people overcomplicating something so simple as breathing and relaxing.

don’t let negative thoughts take over your assumptions, remember, all you have to do is stay still, relax yourself and affirm for it. you need to persist, it doesn’t matter if you aren’t feeling anything at all, you are getting in.

i also had my doubts with it, i would try every day but i noticed how obsessed i was with it that i had to take a break from it and returned again with new assumptions and i have got in twice, the problem is that i fall asleep.

a tip from me if you’re struggling with this deep sleep at night just right after you start meditating: drink coffee throughout the day, start earlier (1 hour before the hour that you usually nap) or have a little nap in the afternoon. it will sure help you a ton. my concept is alright but what’s stopping me from focusing is that damn sleepy feeling.

if some day you’re feeling guilty, remember: that is what you want, why do you want it? cause you deserve it. nobody or nothing can change that fact. it’s yours.

if you still struggle with the void after all, i have some personal affirmations that now won’t be that personal cause i’ll be sharing them with you:

i am the void.

i enter the void whenever i want.

the void is so easy for me to enter.

as soon as i think of the void, i get in.

no matter what, i’m always in the void.

i enter the void easy and effortlessly.

i deserve everything that i desire.

i can’t be behind it if i am the void.

every night i enter the void.

i always wake up in the void.

i love how easy it is for me to enter the void.

i don’t need to worship the state because i am the void and the creator.

i know the void is within me and i can dominate it.

i am a master at the void state.

they could never dominate the void like i do.

i get into the void instantly.

remember that nothing is impossible.

the only thing that is impossible is what you make your mind believe is impossible. you’re a creator, you’re deserving of everything and you have your desires.

[incorrect-riordanverse]

finally reading tsats here are my live thoughts (spoilers, obviously):

i’m so excited because some pages are darkly decorated and its so cool. still don’t vibe with the title though (the sun IS a star and its peeving me)

why are we talking about dating darth vader 😟 where are we rn (anakin is a yes, but DARTH VADER???)

maybe i’m too old but the jokes are not funny 😭

“this whole place feels like my soul. empty and dark. dark as the pit of the underworld.” <- i don’t care if he’s joking nico would never say thissss 🙏😭 we’re only 10 pages in but please stop butchering my fav character he’s not himselffff i am cringing so bad

i know i’m being dramatic but if they do nico dirty in this book i’m going to end it all

oh my god i don’t think i’ve thought about the words “significant annoyance” in so long. bringing back good memories for sure.

i can tell which parts were written by riordan and which parts were written by oshiro. i don’t think their voices are blending very well together…

also, maybe it’s because it’s the start of the book and they’re trying to familiarise new readers quickly with the characters but it feels like they’re making nico the caricature of ‘emo and shadow and ebony darkness dementia raven way 🥀⛓️🖤’ and will the caricature of ‘happy and sunshine and blonde and flower gleam and glow ☀️🌈🫧’ and i usually like this dynamic when it’s not blatantly pointed out every other page. i have faith they’ll show more complexity than this later on though. future yan will let me know by the end. (future yan here, im not at the end but the characterisation def does get more complex thank gods)

oh ok so it is bob the titan

since when was nico’s actual name niccolo??? how did i forget this detail??

“you have to listen if not you’ll share my fate.” “ominous much?” <- ok he’s finally himself again guys it’s all good

the one-sided beef nico has with percy will never not be funny

“cookie monster appeared over the mouth of the jar, reached inside and gobbled up nico like the chocolate-chip cookie he was.” <- nevermind i’ve gone back to hating this book again

“what was one straight boy when you spent your whole life longing for the impossible?” <- i’m reminded of that time a few years back where everyone made ‘having an unrequited crush on percy’ nico’s whole fanon personality, so i’m glad they addressed this somewhat. this boy has been through so much and people really thought crushing on percy was the biggest thing to focus on about ‘nico angst.’

“we made a mistake. you have to fix it.” <- call me a red flag but if i was nico i would do anything and everything to not go. i would medicate myself so highly on sleeping pills that i can’t dream (doctor bf can go kick rocks). i would track percy and annabeth down and haul their asses into tartarus instead to do it. and if i had to go i would only go in to kill bob myself for sending me those traumatic ass nightmares. no thx. bro willingly jumped in himself and now wants me to save him. nuh uh.

not cupid being will 😭 its like his aphrodite 😭 i am not well.

they always have a really good and emotionally moving scene and they ruin it with a dumb joke. let it be heavy 👏👏

something’s really fishy and i have a feeling that it might not be bob calling for him

if this whole “grumpy ball of darkness” thing continues i will actually lose it

you can’t tell me the percabeth pep talk was actually needed. i will forgive it because i miss them though

im sensing tension in the gap between nico’s connection to the underworld and his relationship with will and i’m here for ittttt. give me the dramaaa

who is the gorgyra girl and why is she in their business sm?

oh shit a will solace pov??? christmas came early 🙏

nevermind that whole nightmare sequence was so fucked up 😭😭

somebody HELP HIM i never thought we would get will angst (nico angst fs, but will???)

DONT JUMP IN THE STYX PLEASE

SOMEBODY TELL HIM HE’S HELPFUL OMG

nico strangling epiales in his sleep is so fucking cool he’s literally HIM he’s literally THAT GUY

[zeebreezin]

Before leaving for the Neath, to find his daughter’s killer, August Shaw told only one person: his wife. His letter was poorly worded, rambling, and utterly incoherent. Before leaving to complete his Ambition, heading into Parabola on a quest he does not think he will return from, Shaw did not want to make the same mistake. The following messages were addressed to (In order): @neathyingenue ‘s Silvia Salcedo, @gmalaart ‘s Emon Cavendish, @elleryhart ‘s Ellery , @viric-dreams ‘s Robin Jones, @letheology ‘s Mina Azoulai, @capn-twitchery ‘s Twitch, and @t6fs, here addressed as Logan.

[You haven’t heard from Shaw in several days, any mail you sent has gone unanswered. A letter arrives out of nowhere, written in his curling handwriting. The script is messy, blotted with ink and wine.] “Dear Silvia, I apologise for the state of myself as I write this, though you must understand that this message is of the utmost importance. The time for half truths and polite obfuscation is past, between us. I will not insult you by dancing around the truth. When I first came to London, I came with only one purpose: to avenge the death of my daughter, Lenore, and to meet my own end in the process. Since then, well. I’ve found something quite worth remaining for. I set off now to end what I have started, and I may not return. For that I am so, so sorry. You have become… so much to me, Silvia. In all your endeavours, I wish you the best. Your talent and passion for what is right has inspired me, and I’m sure you have inspired many. I am proud to consider you family, a bond not forged by blood but by ink and will. I… I hope you will be well. No matter what happens. If I do not return, know that I am deeply proud of you. Your Friend, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[The letter does not arrive on paper. It is scrawled across the cosmogone sky, familiar handwriting curling across the surface of parabola like a rock skipping across the surface of a lake.] “My Dearest Emon, it rends my heart to know that I cannot send you this letter. I dare not post it, knowing the reflection that takes your place.” [A few words are heavily scratched out.] “I have no idea if I will see you again, you as I know you, vibrant and sharp and maddeningly brilliant. I wish, more than anything, you were at my side. If I return from the journey I now set out to take, know that I will find you. My window of opportunity is brief, and I cannot linger, though I know how selfish it must seem. I set off now to defeat the ghosts that haunt me, to lay my daughter to rest. When I began, I thought that this would be my undoing, a death I welcomed. Now, though. I must succeed. I will find you again, Emon. These words will reach you - they must. I have to return. Wherever you may be, know that… I will find you, my love. Yours, Always, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[A stained letter is delivered to you by an anonymous urchin. It’s dated to a few days after you left on your trip… the handwriting is familiar.] “Dear Ellery Hart, I hope this letter reaches you well. I’ve scheduled it to be delivered as soon as you return, as its contents are quite important to me. Once you receive this, I will have already departed on a journey. I dare not tell you where I go, or why, but know that-” [A section of text is scratched out.] “I may not return. In such a case, I… Where do I begin? You’ve come so far in the time I’ve known you, Ellery. In all senses, I’m deeply proud of the man you’ve grown into. Wherever your path takes you after this hunt, I know you will do well. If this is goodbye, then know that I count you both amongst my finest pupils, and amongst my dearest friends. Hunt well, Ellery. Your Friend, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[The dead drop has remained quiet for a while now. The next missive you receive from the Black Rook isn’t encoded, or tucked away - it’s left in your mailbox, like any other letter.] “Dear Jones, I apologise for the unorthodox - or perhaps more accurately, deeply orthodox - method of communication. This message has nothing to do with our work, though I understand if you dispose of it as if it was. Simply put, I am… leaving London, for a time. This journey is not one I had expected to return from for a long time, but I know that I will be fighting to return to the city now. Should all go wrong, well, I know that we have not always seen eye to eye. I know that I may never truly win back your trust, something that would be well within your rights. But I could not leave in good conscience without saying goodbye. The letters we used to send, as Suzette and Jacques, they provided me a great deal of light during my darkest days. After everything I am, in truth, not sure what to call us. But whatever you are to me, Robin Jones, I hope I get to see you again, once all this is over. Play Well, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[Shaw hasn’t been at the university for a while, now. A letter is slipped into your desk when you return to Benthic, tucked neatly into the top drawer. No cipher, plain script - this isn’t a game.] “Dear Mina, I hope the Khante has been treating you well. I’m unsure as to when you’ll be back, and a part of me hopes that this letter will be quickly corrected by my presence at your door, but nevertheless. I’m setting off on a mission, you could say, one of great personal significance. One I am unsure if I will return from. In the case I… do not return, I leave my network to you, Mina. Take this letter to Demirkan, he will know what to do. …We can do great things with this Game we play. We have done great things. I trust you to carry on that, if I cannot. You have been a great friend to me, and a most trusted confidant. I can only hope that I do not betray that trust now. Your Friend, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[A letter from your former protege arrives, carried by bat. It’s uncommon enough that he’s writing to you, but the contents of the letter are stranger still.] “Dear Captain Lazaret, I must apologise for the suddenness of this letter. I hope it finds you well, and in a space where you can read it without fearing immediate retribution. Though I know we only occasionally brush paths these days, it seemed unwise to not inform you of my current state of affairs. Simply put, Captain, I’m going to be away from London for some time, and I am unsure if I will ever see home waters again. For all my gripes and bristles (and indeed, all the years I fear you’ve taken off my life) I could not have become the man I am today without your guidance. I know I may have seemed ungrateful, but… well, thank you for all you taught me. And for all the times we have spent together, many of which were at the worst lows of my time down below. You are vexing, and caustic, and I dare say my days in London would be a great deal duller without knowing you. Let none of my sarcasm lead to you forgetting this fact, Captain - as you are indeed someone I owe a great deal of happiness to. I hope to see you again. Your Friend, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[Shaw’s not home, when you return to London, but tonight, six apocyan eyes beckon you to the window. Laying out is a phonograph, one Nigel plays, though there’s no music recorded - just Shaw’s voice, thick with emotion.] “Logan, I- /ˈdæmɪt/, I hope this thing is working right. I hope you’re well? The Tomb Colonies, can be quite draining, I know. I… I’ve left this for you, as I didn’t quite trust my No`çuk" script, and… well, this is quite serious.” [A pause. The sound of drumming fingers on the table.] “This is harder to say than I thought, I, ah…” [A deep, shaky breath.] “The reason I first came to London was not a good one. My daughter had been- she had been taken from me. I came here for revenge, to find the one who’d… and, in all honesty, to lose myself in the process. Now, I’ve left to finish what I’ve started. If I do not return, I… Logan, you’ve become so dear to me. The kindness you’ve shown me, all of it… it is something I will never forget. You are impossible, magnificent… and I love you. Terribly so. What else is there to say?” [A laugh, clearly through tears.] “I will find you, if I make it back. I swear. Xïmo`tu`no` szokh, Muszhka`. If I can’t, I… no. I will. I love you, Logan.” [The recording ends there. Nigel offers it to you.]

- x - x -

[majaloveschris]

I am a different anon, but I would like to add my five cents.

I think when this all started she thought that she will get a positive attention and praise through this connection. Her friends were also milking that connection as much as they could.

She doesn’t get that nobody hates her because she exists, the problem is in her friends and her ATTITUDE. Even if she wasn’t an A-list actress or Oscar nominee, but a regular person, she would’ve receive more positive feedback, people would’ve supported her if she was a good person. The question is not in her existence or her connection to him, but what she does and how she acts.

Of course, there are some absolutely mental people wishing her death or laughing at her appearance. I don’t like her, but that’s too much.

Yet still people were raising questions about her and her friends attitude and I think that criticism was fair enough:

1) Racism allegations. Listen, people can make mistakes, but then grow up, learn and be better. She could’ve addressed it, talk about it and apologise. Deleting tweets didn’t solve the problem, it just showed how tone deaf her and her friends are. And the outcome of her silence? I think people read all those comments under ASP instagram post when they talked about situation on college campus.

2) https://www.tumblr.com/anneslibrary/709484574092263424/sugarbaby-accounts

Emm…how about this? Really? Cloe, we’re going to Disneyland? Dollar store Leo DiCaprio? He gave you great life opportunities and that’a how you show love to your “husband”? True love…word.

3) Not promoting her projects at all, zero professionalism (but more of a plain disrespect to producers, co-actors and even her own fans). 50 000 dollars for a big poster, for an attempt to save the show (that actually gave her a salary and at least some kind of fame), and yet - ZERO. At least be respectful and kind to your own fans (who were mostly young people and teenagers), who spent their OWN money.

Her friends and her acted worse than a dog shit and she expected people will swallow it and thank her? Nobody here is blind, deaf or dumb. Nobody here has a 3 second memory like a fish to forget what was in 2021-2023.

Even though I don’t support people who leave absolute vile comments about her, yet all the negative feedback she’s having now was caused by her own actions.

So the first person she should blame for toxicity is herself. She herself is toxic that’s what she forgets.

But I guess that doesn’t fit in “I’m innocent and shy and that’s everybody else who is the problem” narrative.

Yeah, and it's not even about the fact that she is connected to him; as you said, it's about her personality, and a lot of people don't see that, and they might be one of those people. However, this is not entirely their fault. There are people who would've hated her no matter what, even if she was the sweetest and kindest person out there, just because she is presumably with Chris. 

I think it's important to call their behavior out, but I also don't agree with bodyshaming them. Their appearance has nothing to do with what we are calling them out for, and I think it just takes away from the importance of it. People can easily say we are just jealous, and that's why we are calling them out if we add something that has to do with her appearance, when in reality most of us don't like her because she and her friends aren't good people. 

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

Let's Talk Peter B

@iwasbored777 (Since you ask to be tagged)

Okay! I was on the fence about writing this post, but after doing this response and some encouragement, I decided that fuck it, let’s do this.

While I had seen multiple things about Gwen being a bad friend, a bad person, and other things I don’t want to say because I will start ranting- Peter B for the most part, has come out scotch free.

Don’t get me wrong, I had seen some people address his issues, but it has been a few posts in a sea of him with Mayday and people shipping with Miguel. Which hey, is okay with me, but when you see you a character you love be given the short end of the stick despite the circumstances yet another character that has much less to lose has their mistakes largely been ignored and basically be woobify.

Is not just Gwen, I had also seen people take beef with Jess as a mentor yet somehow leave Peter out of that conversation. Don’t get me wrong Jess is far from perfect (which is something I discussed before,) but again, Peter is far from perfect too.

Does this has to do with Peter being a beloved main character in the first movie? Yes. Does it also has to do with misogynoir and misogyny? Oh I don’t doubt it.

I don’t hate Peter B, far from it, I think he is a great adaptation of our spidey, and while I am not the biggest spiderman fan out there, I did grew up with Peter Parker in movies and cartoons so I do have love for this characters as well as his incarnation in Sony movies.

I will do my best to remain as unbiased and neutral as possible, but not gonna lie this entire thing is annoying me enough that I will say when I am aware of my own biases, as I always try to do.

But if you think liking a character stops me from calling them on their bullshit you are wrong.

I know this post is more about how Peter is with Miles and his role as a mentor, but I decided to address some other things I had seen people talk about because there is a reason I choose "Let's talk Peter B Parker" as a title.

Believe it or not, I am fine with this. Seriously.

Peter wasn’t here when Miles arrived, and considering they did a small tour and got an empanada on the way, I think wouldn’t be odd to say he wasn’t around when Miles arrived. My theory is that he was taking care of his own stuff, and once he knew that Miles was around, went to get Mayday to present her to Miles.

I think that’s pretty normal all things consider, he loves Miles and wouldn’t had fixed things with MJ and had his daughter without her, of course he would want the two of to met.

The enthusiasm is all things consider pretty sweet, and while I don’t approve of some things he does (like giving her a web shooter while being just a few months old?) Is one of those things that are part of superhero writing that has the children technically doing things that they shouldn’t be doing for their age, so I just let it slide because if I get hung up every time I see something like this, it would not end.

I’m the only one who is actually mad about this comment?

Yes, is a joke, I get that, and Peter is trying to take as much as steam off Miles by trying to frame him on the light that he messes up, but is just who he is.

It doesn’t make me any less annoyed.

For starters, I feel like I am rereading Percy Jackson again (No I will not explain that reference.) Because despite everyone more or less knowing what’s going on (Hobie said before he didn’t know what Miguel was hiding so how much he knows is unsure,) no one has attempted to explain the situation to Miles.

This is a trope I had seen enough (including WAY too many times in the books I mentioned,) and I really resent when characters act as if the protagonist or someone else is stupid just because they are unaware of something. ESPECIALLY if the characters saying so are aware they don’t know.

They are also letting him believe is a good thing he is in HQ, but that is actually not Peter’s fault. I am mad with Gwen on this one, but also Jessica, and Hobie well, he should have known enough to be able to tell him seeing Miguel is not good news. At least Hobie tries to warn him as subtly as possible.

Sure, Peter just got here, but the fact that he is already accusing Miles of just messing up with the universe carelessly is not something that doesn’t sit well with me. Either he knows that Miles doesn’t know and is making an insulting comment, or thinks Miles is aware of the situation and just acted recklessly. The second one is the best scenario, but I feel Peter is presuming way too much for someone that just came around and should have known better than believe Miles knew all of these details while Miguel basically has a giant banner of “Not Earth-1610 Anomalies allowed.”

Also, sidetrack but what exactly does Miles do that isn’t just your typical spidey behaviour? Yes he doesn’t always have full-formed plans before acting but you can say that about EVERYONE in the room at that moment.

“He wasn’t thinking, is not like he works!” My ass.

Want my two cents about this moment? Peter has zero business telling this to Miles.

When Miles asks Gwen about her dad, she is crestfallen, she doesn’t like to believe this more than he does; but unlike anyone else in this room, Gwen cannot return to her home dimension. The best case scenario is if she isn’t there, her dad may not die; but that’s the best case scenario, and that involves again, not stepping again in her home dimension ever again. Her best bet is never to see her home, or anyone she knows including her dad, because not only she may end up in prison, her presence may lead to the death of her dad.

And who knows, it may happen regardless; he may be dead already because he is a police officer and she couldn’t be there to give a hand or save him (As she said she did in Into the Spider-verse, by the way.)

Yet at least, she is coming to this with the idea that her life is going to have to SUCK for a few years, things happening or not happening depending on where she is but none of this is pretty or fair.

Peter? As far as we know, he is done.

Considering the age range of the Spidey-characters, chances are Peter already lived the canon events he needed to live, at best they don’t know what’s next, which means he can operate as he feels is the best course of action.

Miles asked him if he would have let his uncle die, but Peter lost his uncle over twenty years ago, he had enough time to grieve, to accept the outcome, and find happiness after it. And to top it all off, HE DIDN’T HAVE THAT MORAL DILEMMA PLACED IN FRONT OF HIM BEFORE IT HAPPENED.

I find Peter’s words hollow because unlike Miles, he was never asked to not intervene in a canon event, he hasn’t needed to deal with someone from his universe dying while he let it play out.

I am not saying he didn't suffer, he did, and a lot; yet he was unaware that this would happen, is way different having someone tell you “Oh those tragedies you lived? It’s the destiny that keeps everything together, it’s rough but it is what it is,” than someone telling you “Oh you are going to live a bunch of different personal tragedies, and you need to suffer with the burden of this knowledge because is this or everyone in every universe dies.”

(How much do you guys bet someone will use this as an example of the trolley problem in a philosophy class.)

Since we are going in kind of a chronological order, let’s go to something a tad lighter both because it deserves mention, and so I can cool down before I start ranting in Spanish (which is not going to be saying pretty things about B precisely.)

Yes, Peter recognizes this is bad parenting, which is good because it certainly isn’t good; I also have trouble believing he didn’t know AT LEAST ONE spider that could stay behind and watch Mayday while he went to the chase.

However, I do think the chase was never going to be dangerous, nor Peter thought it would be. He has been Spider-man for a quarter of a century, he has been swinging around for so long is second nature to him, I bet he has taken Mayday on “strolls” which is him swinging around.

There is also another screenshot that really encapsulates that Peter didn’t realize how dire the situation is, but that’s for later.

There is also the possibility that he asked Miguel to do this as a way to distract him, but considering this is the only time he does this and is going around him being obsessed with Mayday (Which I think is a bit too much, but I blame more the writers than Peter for that.) I am inclined to believe this is not the case.

(Sigh) I promise to try to be neutral, so I need to bring this up.

What they were talking about earlier can be lumped to a bit later on, and I decided to bring this instead of talking about it when Miles and Peter saw each other (which is I didn’t bring because what I could say would be the same as this.) Because this is something really beautiful that I didn’t want to leave out.

I think that’s what angers me the most about this, because in a vacuum? I love this.

I am a sucker for found family tropes, I love the idea that Miles would grow to see people like Peter B, Noir, and so forth as a family. I love how Peter says how much Miles means to him and meeting him changed his life for the better.

Peter B loves Miles, he said that in the last movie; I can’t just erase that.

However, is exactly because of this scene, that what happens next makes me so sad.

Oh, Miles.

I didn’t mention it in the previous image nor did I took detailed screenshots for the sake of my sanity and to not turn this way too long. (Though I may do it in another moment- Ok I need to focus.)

Miles was obviously affected by what Peter said to him, it obviously means a lot because Miles also loves Peter; of all the spiders in the gang he was the one who he spent the most time initially; he wouldn’t be the Spider-man he is today without him.

And it breaks my heart how Miles says this.

Look at the angle, at his posture; Miles can’t even turn to say this to Peter’s face because it hurts so much. He looks so small in that shot, trying to emphasize how he is just a teen, how he really loves them so much, and it breaks his heart to know that they could visit him, and they didn’t.

Let’s remember what he was doing at the beginning of the movie; he was trying to study physics. He is great at it, and he was since the first movie, however, this is clearly not his passion; he loves his art and even if he didn’t know what he wanted to do yet in the first movie, you can see how much he loves what he does.

And he was willing to leave all of that aside, just to see Gwen, Peter and the others again; because as far as he knew there wasn’t any other way. Remember, he was aiming at Princeton; he would need to bleed and work hard to get there, and even after, being in this field it was not going to be a walk in the park; getting to make the dimensional travel work (At least without seeing Miguel’s technology like Hobie seemed to do;) was also going to be hard.

Miles wanted to do all of that for them, and them? They didn’t.

Now; I don’t blame Gwen in this scenario.

I had said this much in this post before, and a bunch of others too. Gwen was stuck with the Spider Society; and yet she risked losing everything, from homelessness to prison, to spend an afternoon with Miles the second she had an excuse.

What is Peter’s excuse?

He couldn't, he couldn't.

That's what he had to say for himself.

Here is the thing: I am not sure I buy it.

Gwen makes sense to me, Miguel didn't want Gwen to be involved since the beginning and obviously doesn't trust her when is about Miles; Gwen wasn't exactly wrong to fear she would get kicked out if she acted out of line.

Peter? I have my doubts.

We don't know Miguel's and Peter B's relationship (I know some shippers have some ideas, not my cup of tea but I have no problem if people like it.) However, we know that Peter B was there when Miguel's dimension collapsed, later in the movie we saw what Miguel did to Gwen for what happened (believe me, we will get there.)

Even if that was the case; Peter’s situation is much less dire than Gwen’s. Even if Peter could be kicked out of the organization for disobeying Miguel; he would still have his wife, his house, his daughter. He would had been in the same spot he was at the end of the first movie, if not better because now he would had a chance to know both him and Miles would be okay.

I am getting ahead of the post here, but I honestly don’t know how much of Canon BS Peter believes; he clearly doesn’t think Miles is bad for being an anomaly, nor his daughter (technically because Peter wasn’t supposed to meet Miles, he wouldn’t have his daughter. Is certainly a NO in the comics.) Miguel is convinced that Miles’ presence is enough to create more holes in the multiverse; Gwen obviously doesn’t share that view. Peter? I don’t know if he thinks there is actually something to lose for visiting him.

One way or another, he doesn’t really give me a reason here; who knows, maybe when Beyond comes there would be enough information for me to admit Peter did the right thing. For now? No.

Here, we have Miles telling Peter he wanted to meet them so badly, and even if Peter doesn't have a clue of how literal Miles is; you can hear it in his voice, in his posture, how he still cannot look at Peter because to that point it hurts.

And what's Peter's response to this?

(Deep breath,) Boy at moments like this I really wish I didn't think so hard about media.

It hurts me, and it angers me, because it is a pretty sweet moment, but when you think hard about it, it just becomes messy.

I could make an entire discussion about how Peter literally ignored Miles’ feelings about not being there, about how he and others (Gwen not really, the others eehhh hard to say;) didn’t try too reach him, which obviously makes him feel like they don’t care about him as he does. And Peter decide to ignored it.

But! I will try to give him the benefit that this is a tense situation, there is hundreds of spiders looking for them, and there only have so much time. I am going to believe, Peter couldn’t address that at the moment because they had other issues.

Yet even if we omit that point, do you guys realize this is literally no different that his entire spiel about Uncle Ben, right?

Because that’s what he is trying to say, “Spider-man has to suffer, but hey sometimes good things can happen anyways.” This entire conversation is about trying to make Miles follow him, do whatever Miguel is trying to do to avoid having Miles go to his dimension (or at least stop him from saving his dad,) and basically let her dad die.

Look, there is nuance to this situation; Peter isn’t saying this to manipulate Miles, he believes this. He truly believes bad things had to happen to keep the universe from falling apart; I am convinced Miguel’s second universe didn’t fall for his Canon theory, yet Peter B was there, I can’t blame the guy for drinking the kool-aid a bit more than the others.

This doesn’t change the fact that this scene has Peter ignoring Miles’ pain, and try to tell him he needs to suffer some more because “is just how the universe works!”

(Sidenote but anyone can’t help to see this and think of a random Christian telling someone after they lived a personal tragedy “Is just G-d’s plan”? Because I saw that a lot.)

Now, I guess the next question someone may be wondering is, do I believe Peter was being honest with Miles here?

...I don’t know, I really, don’t know.

I had seen this scene multiple times, and I lost count how many times when I was in the theatre, seeing this scene, and thinking “he knew” just for the next moment thinking “he didn’t know.”

If you want my two cents, the part that keeps tripping me over is how he looks at his watch, then Miles, then the watch, it makes me wonder if he is screaming that he doesn’t have his location to Miguel, or to Miles.

I don’t want to believe Peter purposefully drive Miles away so he could get trapped, when he says to Miles “I didn’t know, I promise;” I want to believe him.

The thing is, the outcome he hoped wasn’t that much different, now was it?

He wanted it to be Miles decision, yet again, he was trying to get Miles to not just abandon his morals (as well as the ones every Spider-person should have,) but also try to tell him he needs to suffer for the good of the world.

(I am having SO many flashbacks to things I read about cults, I need to continue working on that post about the Spider Society ffs.)

This is a small detail, but I gotta say; Peter do you really have nothing on your defense?

Look, feel free to believe I am playing favourites, but unlike many people who had a problem with Gwen, I don't blame her for hiding this.

No, I don't think what she did was right. Let’s not get things twisted. I definitely think Gwen shouldn’t had hide this stuff, yet she in general NEVER, had a good idea of how much to say and how much to keep with anyone she talks to; from her dad to Jess to Miles. Once again this is an aspect I can’t get mad at her because she is sixteen and traumatized with a minimal support network and irresponsible guardians.

Now Peter, what’s YOUR excuse?

Not just for not telling something to Miles earlier, I could believe he would have done it if the situation has calmed down. No, Miles asked them about it, and even a bit later says “That’s why you guys never came to see me;” (Which I think is kind of BS but let’s not get ahead of myself on this one.) The thing is that when he has the teen he mentored being manhandled by his ‘friend,’ and said thing asks them to answer him; Peter just ducks.

Like he cannot even see Miles and admit he shouldn’t have done that.

Gwen’s excuse isn’t much better but at least she is answering and you can see in her face how much she knows she fucked up.

I am going to be honest, this little detail wouldn’t bother me as much if what has happened before and what’s yet to happened didn’t exist, yet it does.

There is a difference in “Well you did a little mistake but I can let slide” vs “There are so many things wrong here that I will call you out even for the tiny ones.” Granted Peter isn’t that bad, but is a nuance I think a lot of people don’t think of.

Could Peter haven't said anything because the scene is trying to focus on Miles and Gwen for this part? Yes; it doesn't stop me from getting annoying.

Okay, Miles says this, do I believe it? Ehh not sure.

Gwen definitely not the case, if she truly thought him being an anomaly was a problem, she wouldn't have gone to see him directly.

Peter? Again, I have no idea how much of the kool-aid he has been drinking, the fact that he speaks highly of him and his daughter as good things that has happened makes me inclined to believe he doesn't.

We don't have an answer either way, right?

Not that Peter does much to help him feel better here. Yes yes trying to keep focus on certain characters I know.

(Looks at the camera like is the office.) And now THIS is the time where I wish I wasn’t aware of how writing works.

Okay, I know what the purpose of Peter is, aside of being here as a mentor, he is here kind of as a comic relief. He doesn’t have the same narrative weight as he had in the last movie, and he is here to be cute with his baby for the most part. That’s his purpose at this moment.

It-doesn’t-change-anything.

He has this recurring joke on the third act about if he is or not a good mentor, and it kind of has to do with the last movie, specially this joke, since at the end he was also talking how he taught him something he definitely didn’t do. Last movie I found it cute, here? Not so much.

I am trying not to be hard here and why I would not address the “son of a mother” moment (which I honestly really hate,) because this is not even Peter B’s fault at this point; the writers were trying very hard to have a way to make the situation a tad lighter while also having an important character be in character. I can’t say is truly out of character, but I’m not appreciating it.

Especially having him insist on being a good mentor after letting down his protege MULTIPLE TIMES.

Don't you guys love when you see a grown-ass adult go apeshit on a teen, and his friends aren't doing anything to stop him?

Sorry, yeah I understand that for narrative purposes, they have to be stuck to the ground, but after someone pointed this out a few weeks ago, I can't stop thinking of this shot so I needed to bring it out.

(BIG sidenote but, Margo is the biggest MVP here; girl met Miles once and probably has little to no context, yet she is helping him out. Queen behavior.)

Now let's talk about some bullshit.

I know this is technically not about Peter, considering this is Miguel talking to Gwen, yet I find LAUGHABLE this response.

I will give this to the spider//dad shippers, I would also be inclined to believe Miguel has a thing for Peter B if between the guy who had the "fugitive" in close quarters for a few minutes yet did not attempt to trap him, vs the teen girl who tries to help out her mentor to catch the dude (even if she didn't try too hard,) you decide the teen girl is the problem.

Is funny because really all this scene needs is Miguel saying "If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't have come here, he wouldn't had know and the Spot wouldn't have escaped," at least that much couldn't have been said for Peter B.

I think the writers were trying to make Miguel just look less and less reasonable the more we saw on screen; which is why he would go with route.

It doesn't change the fact that Mighel accusing Gwen of not capturing him is laughable.

YOU 👏 ARE 👏 A 👏 TERRIBLE 👏 MENTOR.

(This moment could be addressed individually, but they are basically the same thing and this post is DEFINITELY too long; seriously I had written fics shorter than this wtf.)

Here is my problem with this: He just decides that oh well, what can he do.

SERIOUSLY?!

Forget the "Oh but he doesn't do this the story-" for a moment; are you seriously telling me that not only this guy knows Miles is in a PRETTY fucked up situation, but also that Gwen is in her home universe where she will be homeless (because there is no way in hell Peter B doesn't know what happened to her,) and you decide to just, go brooding in your dimension?

You know is absolutely amazing how I had heard people grill Miguel and Jess for their behavior with Gwen (which I agree with for the most part,) yet I haven't seen anyone say "Isn't it a bit fucked up that Peter B should have known what would happen to Gwen if she went home and didn't decide to help her?"

Miguel is on Earth 1610 and hellbent on finding Miles, you cannot tell me if Peter B left his daughter with his wife, and then went to fetch Gwen, Miguel would have noticed. At the very least Peter could had try to check on her.

Peter B has known Gwen for longer than Jess and Miguel, even if he couldn't be a proper guardian for her because he was busy with his life, he could have been more present. He definitely could have attempted to defend her better when Miguel was screaming at her, or to look after her when she was kicked to her universe.

Jess is determined to act as if Gwen is more of an employee than a teen, but Peter B should be known better.

But is not his idea to help Miles, is Gwen's; because right now he is too focused on his life and his duty as spiderman to think of the younger generations that are hurting. Just like Miguel and Jess.

Yet not the narrative, nor the fandom, truly recognizes that.

Let’s wrap this up, you guys have no idea the amount of hours I had spend on this and I would be surprised if someone got this far.

As a small detail, Peter is seen with Mayday, and this time I DO have a problem with it.

I honestly hope Peter isn’t with Mayday in Beyond, I will pretend Peter doesn’t have Mayday during the events on Beyond in my fics for as long as I can; because this is the moment where I feel the joke is being pushed too far.

They don’t know what would happen next, they don’t know in what type of situation they are in, they know whatever universe ended was one with no spiderman so it has to be dangerous; yet he brings the baby because that’s his recurring theme for this movie.

And truly, that’s really the problem with his character here: He was given a small role to do with very limited things to do.

I am not saying this is bad writing; I may not like Peter’s decisions in this movie, and I am really hoping beyond gives a big ass cup of “Adults need to start protecting the younger generations instead of insist they need to toughen up” to all of them. Because more than his role, I am annoyed that neither the movie nor the fandom is addressing the failings of Peter B.

He is not a bad character, I don’t even think he is a bad character in this movie. I like him, and even if writing all of this down made realize I am more bitter about it than I would had liked; I just don’t think is fair.

I want Peter to be better, as a mentor, as a father; and I am really hoping the next movie shows him grow that way too. I do believe the writers can pull it off.

Now, the fandom addressing that?...That I have MUCH less confidence. But not gonna lie this post was made mostly to get this out of my chest rather than expect a reaction out of it.

If anyone made this far, first of, wow; I know some people were interesting in reading this, but even I think I went for a while I put a lot of things that are small details but you guys now me, it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t do that.

Be thankful I don’t talk about micro-expressions in frames or this would truly would had ended up as a novelette.

Second, thank you for reading! Give a like and your opinion if you want; because I am pretty sure this post is doing to have fewer notes.

[oohnotvery]

Hand To Your Heart: Chapter 8

Read on AO3 here.

tw/cw for pregnancy content in author’s note:

Thank you so much for that warm “welcome back.” I don’t feel like I deserved your generosity or kindness since I completely bailed on this story for so long.

If anyone is interested in a personal update, I’m over halfway to meeting my new baby and unfortunately have had some complications (including a minor surgery last week, thus the delay in posting Chapter 8), but the little guy is healthy and gigantic. We have a name, which is exciting, and my daughter has started carrying a baby doll around and calling it her “baby brother.” So that’s truly precious! We’ll see how she really feels come February.

Okay, but also in personal news—and perhaps this is too personal for Tumblr, but I can’t help myself—I had to withdraw my daughter from her daycare two weeks ago because I caught her teacher HITTING HER across the face. I reported the daycare and the teacher to the appropriate authorities, but oh my god, what if I hadn’t seen it happen?? That was a devastating day and sometimes I still close my eyes and that moment just replays in my mind’s eye over and over and over again. I’ll be sitting in traffic and jolt back to seeing someone hit my little girl and my blood BOILS. Trust no one, indeed.

As to the fic, just a reminder, this story isn’t Mulder/Diana, and it also isn’t Scully/Other! Have no fear.

Mike Stephens seems highly motivated to make the most of their arrangement, because just two hours later, at 4 p.m., he struts into the bull pen as cocky as a rooster.

At first, she doesn’t notice him, only registering a shift in the atmosphere when she sees Mulder’s head lift and his shoulders tense. Following his gaze, she looks up, her cheeks flushing the moment she catches sight of Mike.

Abruptly, she rises to her feet, determined to head this off before it escalates. Part of her wants to shove her new sexual arrangement in Mulder’s face; a much larger part of her demands she conduct her intimate business in private. She catches Mike’s arm before he can cozy up to her desk, steering him towards a nearby conference room where they can be more discreet. But he stops her gently, a wide smile on his face.

“Just wanted to see if you were around tonight,” he says quietly, his face tipped towards hers. “Or am I being too forward?”

She swallows past her embarrassment. Any ordinary person might not catch their muted conversation, but in her peripheral vision, she notices Mulder’s tense posture and the way his head angles towards them. He’s definitely listening.

Remembering herself, Scully flashes Mike a reassuring smile while her brain tries to process her response.

At first, she hesitates. Seeing him tonight would be . . . expeditious. She hasn’t even had a moment to reflect on her impulsive choice to get involved with Mike. Is rushing into something with him tonight a mistake?

And then she remembers Mulder’s plans. He’s going to dinner with Diana tonight—dinner, drinks, and most likely sex. Scully attempts to overlook the reality that she’s centering her choices around Mulder’s plans, and it grates on her more than she’d like to admit. But it’s always been this way between them. From the moment she and Mulder met, she’s anchored her life to his. In a sense, she’s always been destined to revolve around him.

She meets Mike’s gaze and gives a short nod. “Come by at eight?” she offers, keeping her voice low.

His smile widens as he reaches around her to grab a sticky note and pen from her desk. He pushes them towards her.

“Your address?”

Behind them, Mulder turns slightly in his chair and Scully’s face burns brighter. Why is she doing this to herself? He’s a smart guy. He’s going to know she’s just doing it because he’s sleeping with Diana. He knows she isn’t actually interested in Mike—she even admitted it to him many moons ago.

“Dana?” Mike prompts, interrupting her thoughts.

She bites her lip, then scribbles down her information.

She and Mike exchange a few more pleasantries before he retreats towards the elevators. She takes a second to collect herself, combing her fingers through her hair and smoothing down her skirt. She still has about an hour left of work before she’ll allow herself to leave to get ready for tonight. She just needs a moment to calm down and refocus—

Mulder is watching her, his body now fully turned to face her. She catches his gaze and tries not to react at what she sees in his eyes. His gaze is coolly neutral, the face of a profiler, giving little away. But she knows him well, and she thinks she sees something else in there. Hurt, maybe, or confusion. She can’t quite place the emotions. But she does know one thing: he’s onto her.

Pursing her lips, she breaks his gaze and primly takes a seat. Time to get to work.

**

At home, Scully showers and shaves, ignoring the way the razor bobbles in her trembling hands. It takes her thirty minutes to pick out an appropriate outfit. Staring into her underwear drawer is like staring into a timelapse of her short-lived relationship with Mulder. She can’t wear the black lingerie set with Mike tonight—she was wearing those the first time Mulder ever went down on her. She can’t wear the blue set either, because the panties have a tiny rip in the side from where he yanked them off roughly in excitement. In the end, she discover she only owns two pieces of undergarments that Mulder hasn’t touched, and while both pieces are the opposite of sexy, she simply can’t bring herself to wear anything that reminds her of him tonight.

She settles on a black cardigan and black pants, dabs her lips with a thin layer of lipstick, and touches up her eye makeup. She pops open a bottle of wine and drinks half a glass by herself, wondering if Mike will care that her breath smells like alcohol. She highly doubts it. This is just casual sex, nothing more.  

Mike knocks five minutes before eight and Scully’s fists curl into tight, anxious balls as she walks to the door and lets him in. He makes a few standard comments about how nice her apartment is, how it took him a few minutes to find a parking spot, how she lives far from the Hoover Building. She nods and responds with the usual pleasantries, her higher mind taking over even as her internal alarm system begins to register a blind panic.

What the fuck is she doing?

She jumps when he settles his hands at her waist.

“You alright?” he asks, his eyebrows creasing.

She swallows thickly and nods, unable to speak. His hands are too heavy against her hips and he’s standing at the wrong angle. Mulder is so much taller, she realizes idly as Mike tugs her flush to his body. God, and Mulder is stronger too, she realizes as her hands rise automatically to his biceps. He smiles down at her and this time, she robustly fights the urge to compare his lips to Mulder’s. But she can’t help but notice that Mike’s aren’t as full, and his teeth aren’t as straight.

It's obvious before his mouth even touches hers that she’s not going to enjoy this. For Christ’s sake, she chides herself, am I ever going to want another man now that I’ve had Mulder? What have I done to myself?

Her panic escalates as Mike’s tongue darts out to part her lips. It hadn’t occurred to her until this moment that she might get emotional kissing another man. From this point on, she realizes with a sinking heart, Mulder will no longer be the last person I’ve kissed. The thought makes her so queasy that she starts to pull away, but Mike presses into her more firmly. With shock, she realizes he’s already hard.

Don’t do it, don’t do it, she reprimands herself. Don’t make the comparison—

He’s not as big as Mulder either.

“Fuck,” she whispers angrily, pulling away.

Mike opens his eyes and stares at her with concern. “Everything okay?”

She glances up at him, but her mind is somewhere else completely. Mulder is at dinner with Diana, she thinks. He’s wining and dining Diana Fowley and then he’s going to fuck her. He’s going to fuck that woman tonight and he’s not going to be thinking of me. Who cares if Mulder isn’t the last person I've kissed? I haven’t been the last woman he’s kissed in weeks.

Is she really doing this to make herself feel better? Because if so, it’s only making her feel much, much worse. She blinks, trying to clear her thoughts.

“Just needed a minute,” she says nervously, hoping her hesitation comes across as coquettish shyness.

She excuses herself to pour them each a glass of wine, and only after she’s downed hers does she let Mike kiss her again. He moves them to the couch and she idly notes that he’s unbuttoning her cardigan, then her pants. She keeps kissing him for the sake of appearances, but she is nearly apathetic in her arousal. Mike’s fingers drift down to her panties and she wills herself to get wet for him, but she’s too distracted.

“Too much wine,” she says unconvincingly when he glances up at her in question. “I’ve—I’ve had a long day.”

Mike withdraws his hand and settles back against the couch, eyeing her carefully. “Should we postpone?”

“Hmm?” she asks aloofly, as if she hasn’t been completely disinterested in him since the minute he arrived.

He smiles gently. “I get the feeling you’re not quite ready for this tonight.”

She shakes her head. “It’s not that—”

“Dana,” he says kindly, leaning forward, “tonight’s been nice. You’re a beautiful woman and I want to spend more time with you.” He reaches out and brushes her cheek. She tries not to flinch. “But there’s no reason to rush this. Why don’t we rain check?”

She nods dumbly, unable to reconcile the tumult of emotions raging inside her: relief that she doesn’t have to fake it with Mike anymore, and humiliation that she couldn’t go through with her plan. Mulder surely isn’t having trouble getting it up for Diana tonight.

In the end, she and Mike leave it open, tentatively agreeing to catch up again on Sunday. But when the weekend passes and she hasn’t heard from him, she starts to worry that perhaps she’s ruined her chances.

On Monday, Scully enters the bull pen with a brave face. She knows she’ll see Mulder and she suspects that Diana will make an appearance at his desk. How many times will she have to endure watching their relationship blossom in front of her?

But Mulder doesn’t show. By lunchtime, Scully assumes that he and Diana are off together working their case, which is why she’s surprised when the woman in question struts down the hallway and plants herself in front of her desk.

“Agent Scully,” Diana greets her.

“Agent Fowley.”

Diana props a hand against her desk and Scully steels herself for yet another emotionally difficult conversation.

“Have you seen Fox?” Diana asks.

Scully blinks. “Not this morning.”

Diana purses her lips. “And over the weekend?”

Scully shakes her head slowly. “No, I haven’t seen him since Friday.”

“And you haven’t heard from him?”

Scully narrows her eyes. “Is something wrong, Agent Fowley?”

Diana clears her throat, straightening up. Scully can tell she’s trying to act casual, but when Diana speaks, there’s concern in her voice.

“He was supposed to meet me Friday night and he . . . didn’t,” the other woman says. “He hasn’t answered any of my calls or emails either. I tried going by his apartment over the weekend, but he didn’t answer his door if he was there.”

Scully considers this. “Was his car in the parking lot?”

Diana shakes her head. “The building has been mandating street parking lately. I drove around the block and didn’t see his vehicle, but there’s a chance I could have missed it.”

Scully nods thoughtfully, resisting the wave of irritation she feels at not knowing this new development in Mulder’s apartment situation. “And he gave you no indication that he’d be out of pocket all weekend?”

Diana rolls her eyes. “You know how he is. Fox is rarely predictable.”

This may be the first time she’s ever agreed with Diana Fowley on anything, and she finds herself nodding.

“I guess I’ll give him a call,” Scully finally says, chewing her lip. “See if I can get in touch with him.”

Diana nods stoically, but the concern in her eyes is evident. Although it’s not unheard of for Mulder to go missing for days at a time, Scully feels herself growing uneasy at Diana’s reaction. The other agent expected to see him this weekend, that much is clear. After Diana departs, Scully picks up her phone and dials Mulder’s number, immediately getting his voicemail. She shoots him an email, but after an hour with no reply, she starts growing restless.

The day passes and Mulder never shows. Scully tries calling him three more times with no luck. When Mike gives her a ring, she sends him straight to voicemail. When she listens to his message, she learns he wants to come by tonight. Scully swallows hard at the thought. She really needs to force herself to try again with him. One more try, that’s all she needs.

But as she stares at Mulder’s empty chair, she knows exactly how she’s going to spend the rest of her evening. As a courtesy, she shoots Mike an email excusing her absence tonight and suggesting they try later in the week. When five o’clock hits, she jumps in her car and steers it towards Alexandria.

She’s going to find Mulder.

[edenmemes]

wednesday starters

❝ i’ve learned so much from you. part of it is admittedly criminal behavior. ❞ ❝ use the words  ‘little’  and  ‘girl’  to address me again and i can’t guarantee your safety. ❞ ❝ i knew you didn’t have what it takes to be a murderer. ❞ ❝ i promise that whoever did this to you will suffer. ❞ ❝ you really suck at this. cheering people up. ❞ ❝ are you feeling okay? you look a little pale. ❞ ❝ there’s nothing quite like the feeling of being proven right. ❞ ❝ your secret’s safe with me. ❞ ❝ why should i bother telling you anything? you've already decided i'm lying. ❞ ❝ to tell you the truth, i’ve never really fit in anywhere. ❞ ❝ how i missed those accusing eyes and youthful sneer. ❞ ❝ i’ll be keeping my eye on you. ❞ ❝ you’re hurt. can you walk? ❞ ❝ try anything and you’ll lose limbs. ❞ ❝ i should have known you were behind this. ❞ ❝ do you always speak in riddles? ❞ ❝ for someone who claims to have no friends, you certainly protect them. ❞ ❝ i refuse to play the role of a pawn in someone else’s corrupt game. ❞ ❝ any plans you have of running away end right now. ❞ ❝ or you can just glare uncomfortably. whatever works for you. ❞ ❝ i don’t have time to explain, but you’re in danger. ❞ ❝ i didn’t realize we were back on speaking terms. ❞ ❝ no man chooses evil because it is evil. he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. ❞ ❝ emotion equals weakness. pull yourself together. ❞ ❝ there’s a monster out there, but everyone believes i made it up. ❞ ❝ how long do you intend on giving me the cold shoulder? ❞ ❝ if you die, i will kill you. ❞ ❝ whoever you are, show yourself. ❞ ❝ how long have you been lurking? ❞ ❝ believe nothing you hear and half of what you see. ❞ ❝ as usual, you underestimate me. ❞ ❝ i don’t believe that i’m better than everyone else. just that i’m better than you. ❞ ❝ i hope that one day, you’ll finally be able to accept me for who i am. ❞ ❝ i don’t want you to be a stranger in my life. ❞ ❝ i don’t plan on staying here long. ❞ ❝ not a hugger. got it. ❞ ❝ you’re soft and weak. you’ll never survive without me. ❞ ❝ do you make a habit of scaring the hell out of everybody? ❞ ❝ if he breaks your heart, i’ll nail-gun his. ❞ ❝ you are a brilliant person, but sometimes you get in your own way. ❞ ❝ my personal philosophy is kill or be killed. ❞ ❝ breathe a word of this to anyone and i will end you. ❞ ❝ have you ever shot a bow and arrow before? ❞ ❝ i don’t bury hatchets. i sharpen them. ❞ ❝ you can’t get rid of me that easily. ❞ ❝ i act as if i don't care if people dislike me. deep down...i secretly enjoy it. ❞ ❝ there’s just something wrong about this place. ❞ ❝ i want to assure you i remain as cold and heartless as the first day we met. ❞ ❝ i have no interest in following in your footsteps. ❞ ❝ you used to love my killer instinct. ❞ ❝ sometimes the monsters we least expect are the most dangerous. ❞ ❝ would it kill you to not think the worst of me for once? ❞ ❝ is that your professional opinion as the child of a murderer? ❞ ❝ you always had a unique perspective on the world. ❞ ❝ i don’t know what kind of sick joke you’re playing, but i’m out of here. ❞ ❝ at least it’s turning into a beautiful day. ❞ ❝ being your friend should come with a warning label. ❞ ❝ there’s no time. leave me. save yourself. ❞ ❝ we were good together. ❞ ❝ oh, great. i guess you can add ‘thief’ to your resume. ❞ ❝ whatever did this wasn’t human. ❞ ❝ the last thing i remember i was walking outside feeling a mixture of rage, pity and self-disgust. ❞ ❝ i’m not above breaking a few fingers. ❞ ❝ once again, you have underestimated the situation. ❞ ❝ i see the world as a place that must be endured. ❞ ❝ this will not end well for you. ❞ ❝ stop making enemies and start making friends. you’re going to need them. ❞ ❝ it’s been a long night. i’m tired of your games. ❞ ❝ never lose that. the ability to not let others define you. ❞ ❝ i make one mistake, and you can’t forgive me. ❞ ❝ my deviousness has finally rubbed off on you. ❞ ❝ you could have been seriously hurt or worse. ❞ ❝ my vengeance will be swift and true. ❞ ❝ no matter how hard i try, there will always be people who look down on me. ❞ ❝ danger is on its way. no time to delay. ❞ ❝ please, flattery will get you nowhere. ❞ ❝ do you have a death wish or something? ❞ ❝ i’m the villain in your fantasy. ❞ ❝ i just want you to know all i want is the very best for you. ❞ ❝ you know what your problem is? you don’t know who your real friends are. ❞ ❝ i did a terrible a thing, but i swear i’m not a terrible person. ❞ ❝ the world isn’t always black and white. there are shades of grey. ❞ ❝ where you see doom, i see opportunity. ❞ ❝ friends are a liability and can be exploited. that makes them weaknesses. ❞ ❝ i’m just gonna come out and say it. i want us to be more than friends. ❞ ❝ that’s so sweet. you didn’t have to get me anything. ❞ ❝ think you skipped where you apologize for acting like a jerk last weekend. ❞ ❝ you’ll use everyone to get what you want, even if it means putting them in danger. ❞ ❝ every time you get involved, people get hurt. ❞ ❝ there’s a biting sense of humor that i always adored. ❞ ❝ what does it feel like? to lose. ❞ ❝ i  have  great  admiration  for  well  executed  revenge  plots  but  yours  was  a  bit  extreme. ❞ ❝ what’s your excuse from creeping around in the middle of the night? ❞ ❝ i’ll survive alone. i always have. ❞ ❝ when you give me that death stare of disapproval, you remind me of your mother. ❞ ❝ are you all right? i can’t imagine witnessing something like that. ❞ ❝ i’m tougher than you think. ❞ ❝ the more you listen to them, the more their claws sink into you. ❞ ❝ people like me and you, we’re different. ❞ ❝ i would rather dye my hair pink than ask my mother for advice. ❞ ❝ i’ve never seen someone so blinded by rage. ❞ ❝ could we please do without the overt display of emotion? ❞

[poppyseedqueenz]

(Hopefully Final)Update On the owonekko situation:

Okay so just today the situation has reached its peak so a few hours ago Nondi has worsened this whole mess by making a follow-up response to not only Jouusta but to her critics AND her fans as a WHOLE and let's just say it's probably WORSE than her first response

How did she Respond? Did she apologize? Is she taking a break? Did she realize her mistake?

Well.....

Okay I'm not gonna hold back

Nondi This is the Most NASTIEST, IMMATURE, RUDEST, DISRESPECTFUL Thing that I have Ever Seen! Where do I even start?? Lets start with the fact that whole Animatic low-key ridiculous not only is the whole thing lowkey disrespectful to EVERYONE involved with the portrayal of Jo, Her Critics, HER FANS. But this video is anything BUT respectful! She went silent for almost 5 to 10 days after her Livestream only to make an EVEN worse response not only that but the fact That now she's trying to turn the whole thing into a race issue when race was NEVER even mentioned by Jo or anyone EXCEPT Nondi! Nondi was the ONLY one who said anything about her skintone but now I'm starting to realize something

At this point this isn't even about the AI anymore Nondi is just being a straight-up bully and slandering Everyone involved specifically Jo painting her in a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE Light(whilst now Nondi fans are also now sending Jo hate comments and a few were DEATH THREATS)

Not only that but in the description to her animatic not only is she "Not sorry" she made a lengthy doc(and yes I read every single word) where she fails to take accountability and passes blame onto the critics and Jo and making excuses for her behavior and adding extra things that are half-true, not relevant to the situation, gaslighting fans, and downright lies of which she claims is the "truth"

Nondi's Doc:

Let me remind that after Jo's video went up she made a Pinned Comment and made a few edits to it when Nondi's livestream went up This is What she Said:

Jo's Pinned Comment: "EDIT (9/12/24): Thank you to all who have let me know about Nondi’s most recent livestream and livestream thumbnail. I have not watched the full VOD, but I have seen the thumbnail and… obviously, I am not okay with it. Not in the slightest. That being said, it’s very clear to me that she’s having a mental health episode of some sort. I’m hoping after that livestream she’ll take some time off the internet and not entertain this controversy anymore. I’m disappointed with her actions, with her portrayal of me, and with how she’s handled everything, but at the end of the day I want her to be mentally well, and I feel bad that I contributed anything to the deterioration of her mental state. I still stand by everything I said in this video. I still think she’s wrong for misgendering the larger creator (and continuing to justify it). But I think this will be the last thing I’ll say regarding this video and OwONekko. If anything else happens, I’m not gonna address it (unless I feel like I REALLY need to). Again, don’t go and harass Nondi. Don’t be nasty to anyone. Take care of your mental health too. . . . . . . . . A few more notes here! I changed the title of this video from “How to Lose an Audience’s Trust - OwONekko’s AI Art Stance and How it Harms Artists” to “OwONekko’s Generative AI Stance and How it Harms Artists” because I felt like that was a more concise and less offensive way to market the video. I also want to say I do NOT think Nondi is a bad person for using and liking AI for the reasons she does, I just disagree with her reasons, and I should have been more clear about that. She’s entitled to her opinion about AI as much as I am entitled to mine. I may go here or on my insta to say a few more things regarding this situation if anything else happens, but I’m not going to make any more video content because I don’t want to egg on the people that have been relentlessly harassing Nondi because of my video. Genuinely, I feel awful about that. If you have anything to say about this discourse, keep it on MY video and off of her twitter/ Youtube page. She’s seen all the arguments, criticism, and nasty shit that’s out there. I may have criticized her for blocking certain users in my video, but at this point I think that course of action is 100% justified. If I had known this video was going to be shown to over 200,000 people in less than 48 hours, I would have been a lot more clear and less reactive with how I expressed things in this video. I’ve never had a video perform like this one did.. like, genuinely, I thought this would be watched by the people already in this discourse and MAYBE just a few others. It was not my intention to bring so many new eyes to her channel, especially in this light, but that’s what happened. As for the transphobia claims, she says it was an accident and will not repeat this mistake going forward. She hasn’t apologized for misgendering the creator, which I absolutely disagree with, but she’s made it clear she doesn’t stand by what she originally did. (that being said, I am not trans or queer, so whether or not you want to support her for this going forward is completely up to you. Just don’t go and be a bother to her.)(edit: she has continued to justify her misgendering the larger creator so idek anymore) I’ll edit this comment if I have anything else to add, but for now that’s all I have to say."

I am 100% on Jo's side of the drama

Jo said that nondi was entitled to her opinion and was not calling her bad in ANY WAY Jo was rightfully upset about how nondi portrayed her in the Livestream(she hasn't seen the Animatic yet) and for some reason nondi and her die-hards decided to attack her when Jo just made a harmless statement and even said not to harass anyone at the VERY beginning of her video plus she Cannot be blamed for who saw the video she is not in control of what the algorithm shows us as she said that her intended target for the video were people who WERE actually aware of the situation WITH the exception of a FEW new eyes NOT 200,000(now 400,000) new eyes and she did apologize for that and I do agree if people did not watch Nondi's ai stance video and then Jo's video(even though jo DID say to watch Nondi's video first to get the full context)

(Note: I watched Nondi's full ai stance video before Jo uploaded hers) and just saw Jo's video(depending on how much you watched of Jo's video) and just relentlessly attacked nondi are also in just as much of the wrong telling her to "Kys" is not helpful and making her more stubborn and while I don't agree with her deleting comments that DO know the full story those critiquing her with no context are 100% justified beacuse context is EVERYTHING however Nondi's reactions and responses are NOT justified whatsoever she is a GROWN ASS WOMAN who knew DAMN WELL what's she's doing especially when she went live with that slander video, Twitter posts and even TODAY'S video and the fact that people are still defending what she's done are also the problem she is not the victim she is the perpetrator and when other people did what she's done now they were called crazy, were ridiculed or nearly lost or DID their careers entirely)

The last time a rapper(Doja Cat) made a post disrespecting her fans the same way nondi did she lost almost 200,000 followers

When this rapper(Nicki Minaj) went on a whole Twitter rampage and a crazy rant on IG live beacuse of Hiss (by Meg Thee Stallion)(in this case Nondi went on A coke rant on YT live)she was called a fucking cokehead

When this youtuber(Colleen Ballinger) made a video pinning blame on the internet for banding together, calling her out on her predatory behavior and made a ukulele musical as a response(in Nondi's a fucking snl skit) her response was seen as the worst youtuber apology/statement videos to date

(Note: this is not an attack on Nicki, Doja nor Meg as I love and respect all 3 of these artists however I can't say the same thing for Colleen as she is a terrible human being)

And while people are saying "omg the art community is so sensitive" and you know what? You're right the art community can get sensitive over everything and anything but that that's not the case people are rightfully upset at nondi she montitezed her ai Playlist Made by a company who's under fire for stealing unauthorized audio and using it but now she's attacking fans and critics who were trying to tell here what she was doing was WRONG

AI is a dangerous practice and a very controversial topic that is threatening not only art but jobs in general if ai was not being trained on stolen work and being seen as a replacement then maybe I would have a different opinion the problem is its not being seen as a tool but as a REPLACEMENT for human artists whist stealing art from them and creating entirely new images for the stolen work and people keep Making excuses for ai if "get with the times" mean I have to just let ai steal my work then I rather be left behind

And when I was looking at Nondi's Doc she keeps using race(she used are a total of 3 times even again race is NOT the problem and the fact that your using the race card is downright sickening and this is coming from a black person) and she tried to make Jo look like the bad person and acting as if what she's doing isn't overreacting guess what nondi You ARE overreacting and this Animatic and doc is proof and the way you responded has just made things worse you could've used that short hiatus to reevaluate or make a statement no one asked you to apologize for the A.I video but for the misgendering, the hateful comments and to Jo but instead you make 2 videos(one of them being a YT live) and slandered many people(even though you said you don't like bigger platforms using their influence to harm others) she is becoming the thing that she doesn't want to be and it's sad and the fact that fans still defend and fight tooth and nail for her just proves how ignorant these people are critics will critique ANYTHING, EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that should be common knowledge if you become a content creator or a public figure(such as a celebrity, influencer or musician) if you can't wrap your head around that then content creation isn't for you She is a GROWN woman who went on a two-year old rampage over a controversial topic

Remember the reason all of this is happen is beacuse she got pissy over ONE comment and she's using her race as a sheild

This isn't a RACE issue this is an ETHICS issue and she's treating it like some Anti-Black Campaign

Nondi This is Unacceptable

Leave the internet or take a hiatus beacuse this is too far

[prying-pandora666]

“The Search” Rewrites, Book 4: Air, Leaks, and A Call for Help from the Fandom

I’ve talked a little about the Book 4: Air restoration project @book4air. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out! Three full episodes are already out and episode 4 is going to cover Zuko’s early days right after his banishment, exploring his relationship with Iroh and the world as Zuko understands it as a lost boy rapidly coming into manhood.

Wait until you hear the VA’s performance with music and everything! It’ll break your heart.

But I want to talk a little bit about what comes after these next few episodes: our adaptation of “The Search”.

If you’ve seen our adaptation of “The Promise”, you’ll know it was quite faithful. This won’t be the case for “The Search”. For the purposes of the overarching story we are telling, this story is getting overhauled. (Please still support the original release if you’d like to see the canon version).

The biggest change that’s been announced is the addition of Toph. The team felt that a story about family, identity, and faces could benefit from including Toph’s perspective as she comes from a unique but toxic family situation, has a strong conflict between the performance expected of her versus who she really is, and is completely blind and so faces don’t even register for her.

Here is the sample scene we released:

But I want to talk a little bit about what we are changing about Zuko and Azula’s roles in the story. While the set up is virtually unchanged, there is one small alteration that makes a big difference.

(Sorry for the poor quality, this is technically unreleased content and I’m being kinda risky leaking it.)

Ursa’s letters are now a diary. This means that rather than get random flashbacks, the narrative framing now becomes Zuko and Azula reading these entries together. As a result, they get to discuss their discoveries about their family, and even share each other’s perspectives.

What that means is that when things like Zuko dangling Azula over the cliff happen, now we actually are forced to address it. The characters have to talk about how they treat each other and the reasons why. They have to confront the toxic family dynamic they’ve been forced and groomed into since childhood. Zuko has to realize his mentally ill little sister isn’t the monster here and in fact he’s the one with all the power now, and Azula has to realize that Zuko can be trusted if she can let go of her fear long enough to talk to him about her vulnerabilities.

We also address issues like this:

Many people criticize this for being OOC, but I think there’s a way this could easily not be. Sokka has been known to be juvenile and reactionary as a first response, the difference is that he always eventually apologizes and learns from his mistakes. Without even needing to be asked.

Threatening a mentally ill person who has just been removed from an asylum—even as a joke—is not okay. It would be questionable even if they’d been friends before this, but considering their prior relationship it really does seem like an boneheaded lack of awareness or compassion for how triggering this could be.

So rather than remove this interaction, we addressed it. And I am really taking a risk posting this here, but here is a brand new script page:

Sokka isn’t just comic relief. Sokka is smart, Sokka is compassionate, Sokka is brave, and Sokka knows when it’s time to apologize and reach out versus when it’s time to fight.

Safe to say, there are several things that stay the same and we tried to keep faithful to the spirit of the story, but there’s a lot we wanted to do for the Gaang and for the Fire Sibs, and I hope you’ll join us on this adventure, whether you’re a diehard fan of the comics and just looking for a fun AU, or you hate the comics and would like a rewrite, or even if you’ve never read them and would just love to return to the world of ATLA.

The only trouble is, we can’t do it alone. The project is very expensive and time consuming to produce. Our team pays for everything out of pocket and some of us don’t even have reliable housing, so it’s been a hard time.

If you can help in any way, even only by spreading the word so YouTube will stop burying us in the algorithm, that would be huge!

If you can afford to help, we have a Patreon where you can get all sorts of early goodies.

Reblogs and comments greatly appreciated! As the head writer and voice of Azula, this project is very near and dear to me. Avatar was my first pro-writing gig when I was just a homeless 19 year old, and it’s here for me again as I struggle to rebuild my life and health that COVID destroyed.

I love this series and the community that has helped me through the hardest times in my life. I can’t wait to make something beautiful with you all!