#I am the definition of niche content

[snap-my-kneecaps]

So tempted to post rock monty on Twitter and tag tash in it… but I also don’t know if I want her to see this horrific creation

[jayaorgana]

ROGUE SQUADRON: THE PHANTOM AFFAIR (STACKPOLE, MACAN, BIUKOVIC, 1996) // SIMULATION SWARM (BIG THIEF, 2022) // ROGUE SQUADRON: IN THE EMPIRES SERVICE (STACKPOLE, NADEAU, 1997) // X-WING: KRYTOS TRAP (STACKPOLE, 1996) // THE REPLACEMENT (YOVANOFF, 2010) // ROGUE SQUADRON: THE MAKING OF BARON FEL (STACKPOLE, CRESPO, 1997) // I, JEDI (STACKPOLE, 1998)

[thorihpes]

Look, I'm not into feet. At all. But there was only ONE content creator out there (that I can recall) who made sfm p*rn videos of Ardyn Izunia, and that legend happened to like Ardyn's feet.

I can't find those videos anymore. But this absolute fking warrior did NOT hold back. They made 2 of the most unhinged Ardyn fan contributions I've ever seen in my life and then logged tf out. God rest their soul.

Tonight, I pour one out for you, my fallen foot soldier. 😢🥂

A moment of silence guys...🫡

......

........Alright now does anyone have the videos cus I'm legit desperate for anything at this point I don't even care if it's his feet. I am officially out here begging for scraps I s2g 😭

[street-smarts00]

in omnia paratus

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Summary: Spencer's been on the fence with his feelings for you. Due to his past traumas he’s decided to keep his feelings hidden. Until you’re caught in a dangerous situation at work

WC: 3.5 k

A/N: I am SO SORRY this took so long. I’ve been sitting on this for two months because I was being a perfectionist and had writer's block. Thank you so much to the person who requested this idea and I hope ya’ll like it! beta read by @whats-yesterday00

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Protective!spencer, Friends to lovers, age gap (25 and idk 33 or 34), during season 9 (sadly no post prison Reid, I refuse to watch the show after Derek & Hotch leave), Maeve is implied 

Warnings!: mentions of murder, stalking, gunshot wounds, hostage situation and incorrect info about hostage situation cause Idk I'm not in the FBI

Everyone knew Spencer Reid had a soft spot for you. Well, everyone except for you. 

Since the moment you met you’ve been on his mind. 

“Do you know how old she is?” 

“No, how old is she?” 

“25!” Penelope squeaked before being shushed by Rossi. 

“Wow, she’s gotta be the youngest person to ever be in the BAU. Well, second to genius over here,” JJ commented while pointing to Reid. 

“That’s if she gets the job,” Morgan added. 

They were all crowded around the desks in front of Hotch’s office. The blinds were cracked and they could just barely make out the woman seated across from their boss for an interview. 

Due to the increase in caseload after Alex joined, Hotch made the request to add an additional member of the team. After interviewing a few people that didn’t pan out, he heard quite a bit about you from your supervisor saying how well you’ve done with the FBI and you’d be an exceptional fit for the team.

Then of course Penelope looked up everyone who was interviewing with Hotch. You being her most recent victim. 

“How long has she been with the FBI?” Alex questioned. 

“Three years,” Penelope answered 

“What? Did she join right after college?” 

“Not right away. She graduated early and got experience with law enforcement first.” 

Spencer sat at his desk quietly while everyone was peering into Hotch’s office. Not to say he wasn’t nosy as well. You were already behind the blinds when he arrived for work. 

“Oh they’re shaking hands! That has to be a good sign,” Penelope cheered. 

Morgan turned to the window, “It’s definitely not a bad one.” 

Her eyes widened before loudly whispering, “Oh no they’re leaving. Disperse.” 

She scurried off in her heels towards Derek’s desk while he followed behind with a grin. JJ, and Rossi averted their eyes from Hotch’s office and found Alex’s desk far more interesting. 

All while Spencer’s attention was brought to the woman led down the stairs by his boss. It felt like his heart stopped beating when he saw how beautiful you were. He was brought back to earth as Hotch introduced you to the rest of the team. 

“This is Dr. Spencer Reid,” he gestured to the man sitting at his desk. 

You offered him a small wave and a kind smile, “Nice to meet you.” 

It became quite obvious you two would get along very well. From very early on conversation flowed incredibly well between the two of you. There were very few people that he felt were easy to talk to because of his niche interests and the way he would ramble spitting facts left and right. 

But he never had to worry about saying the wrong thing or talking too much with you. You often were a content listener or you would even match his passion on certain subjects. Most were topics Spencer already knew about. 

When you first met Spencer you didn’t know the Dr in his name meant he held 3 PhD’s or that he was quite literally a genius. 

So you were often telling stories or facts you found interesting that he already knew. In fact, almost every “fun fact” you brought up, he knew about already.  

But he never interrupted you. He always was listening intently to what you had to say. Like he was hearing about it for the first time. 

At some point you learned of his eidetic memory and how vast his knowledge was. It was during a case where you found out and mentioned it to him. 

“Reid, remember when we were at the harbor and I mentioned that thing about sharks?” You hesitated, “did you know that already?”

“Yes,” he guiltily admitted. 

You partially deflated suddenly feeling that the whole tangent you went on was pointless. “Why did you let me go on and on if you already knew?” 

His eyes softened, “because I wanted to hear you talk about it.” 

That was when his feelings started to peek through. As the months went on it only grew and grew. And you were none the wiser.

To the average person, it might not seem like much. Perhaps you were just good friends. But to a team of profilers (and best friends) it was painfully obvious. 

It was almost painful the way he looked at you with a longing in his eyes. Or when his gaze immediately turned to you to catch your reaction or smile. 

It was obvious by the way he found any excuse to bring you up in conversation. Or how in conversation with you he would mirror your mannerisms and lean closer to you. 

As well as the things he remembered about you or the little things he did for you. Like the countless coffee cups he bought for you from his favorite coffee shop before work. And when he saw you struggling to find something or open something he was always right there to help. 

Spencer Reid had feelings for you. Feelings so deep that he couldn’t pull the roots out even if he tried. 

He didn’t know what to do with his feelings exactly. He hadn’t felt this strongly for someone since … well for a while. He was terrified of history repeating itself. 

He couldn't lose you. He’d seen first hand what this job did to him, what it did to Hotch. Their loved ones ripped away from them too soon.

So for now at least, he kept his feelings to himself. 

Well, until your last case. 

The BAU was called in on a case that just turned serial. They found the unsub to be a man named Mark, who started killing because his girlfriend cheated on him. The first two victims reminded him of the man she cheated with. When that didn’t satisfy him, he hunted down and killed the other man. 

Now the team and SWAT was stationed outside a bus that Mark was holding hostage. He stalked his ex-girlfriend and tracked down the new city bus she took. 

The officers couldn’t get a clear shot of him because of where he was standing and he kept using the passengers as shields. Rossi was currently on the phone with him trying to make negotiation terms and get some of the people off the bus. Mark however was incredibly stubborn and didn’t want to let his leverage go. 

So Rossi asked about the children on the bus and if Mark would be willing to let them off. They were met with silence on the other end of the phone, contrary to his previous behavior where he loved to hear himself talk. 

After a short pause the phone spoke. “I’ll only send out the kids if you send in an agent.” 

Rossi shifted his weight and crossed his arms. “Are there any other circumstances you’re willing to send out the children for?” he asked. 

“Nope,” he said with a pop at the end of the word. 

A look of concern was quickly exchanged between Rossi and Hotch. While their faces didn’t reveal much, their eyes spoke volumes. 

“How about this,” the unsub continued. “I’ll send out their moms too.” 

Rossi’s eyebrows furrowed slightly at the eagerness to comply from the criminal. “You’ll send out the children and their mothers if we send in one of our agents?” 

“I promise.” 

Rossi returned his eyes to Hotch who stood rigid and tall with his arms folded. He was met with an approving nod before returning to the call. 

“Alright, we can agree to those terms.” 

“Oh and agent Rossi?” Mark perked. 

“Yes?”

“Send in a girl.”

There was a tension that quietly branched out between the agents listening to the phone call. 

“Why do you want a woman?” Rossi asked, clearly changing the dialogue used.

“I’m losing too many ladies sending out these moms. I want one back,” he replied with a cockiness to his voice. 

Ross confirmed they could send in a female agent. Almost immediately after the unsub hung up, you volunteered to be the agent going on the bus.  

“I’ll do it.”

Spencer’s head shot in your direction. “No you're not.” His voice was laced with concern and a hint of demand.  

“Reid-”

“He specifically asked for a woman. We don’t know what he’s planning, he’s devolving.”

“And I’m willing to take that risk to make sure those kids are safe,” You defended yourself. 

You turned to your boss waiting for his thoughts. Hotch knew you’d been exposed to enough high tension scenarios to know what you were doing. But just like any member of his team, he silently hesitated, worrying for your safety. 

He took a breath before meeting your eyes again. “Send her in.” 

Right before you were led to the bus, Hotch took off the holster on his ankle and handed it to you. “Some extra protection in case something happens.” You couldn’t hear the concern in his voice, but you saw it clear as day in his eyes. 

You made your way to the bus and saw through the window Mark holding a gun to the driver and telling him to open the door. You stepped on and the doors closed quickly behind you. The unsub took a long look at you, panning up and down. 

“Well how about that. Aren’t you a beauty? He said with a cheeky grin. 

You tried your hardest not to look disgusted with him. Instead you kept your composure and spoke with courage and a confident demeanor. 

“You this flirty with all your hostages?” you asked plainly.

As he gazed down at your legs his eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. He bent down and with the gun in his hand, pushed away the bottom of your pants leg. When he saw the gun in the holster, he tsked. 

“You always carry this much dead weight on you?” 

He stood back up and put his hand out, “hand it over, I told them no weapons.” 

You reluctantly took off Hotch’s holster and placed it in the unsubs hand. Your one line of defense was gone. 

The longer you were on the bus, the more anxious Spencer got. He knew you were an exceptional profiler, and you had enough experience and skill to handle yourself in situations like this. 

But that couldn’t stop the ache in his stomach or the fact that his heart rate could power a car by now. 

He stood closer to the bus now to get a clearer view of the windows. They managed to successfully get the children and moms off and to safety, but you weren’t safe. Spencer figured you were trying to negotiate with the unsub, but that was going nowhere. This was confirmed when Rossi tried calling him again but every call was ignored. 

This unsub was stubborn as hell. He knows he trapped himself, but didn’t want to back down. At least he didn’t want to go quietly. 

Spencer was talking with the rest of the team trying to devise a plan when the gunshots were fired. The team immediately ran back to the cacophony on the bus. 

More shots were fired, he didn’t know where from. He didn’t care. 

He just needed to get to you. 

When he got a decent view through one of the windows that hadn’t shattered he saw you. Your hand over arm in pain but still standing in front of the civilians to protect them. The unsub stalking over to you, gun in hand and smacking you over the head with it. You slammed against the chairs and fell to the floor. 

Spencer's face paled. He swore he was going to throw up. 

Through the fog of his mind Spencer saw Morgan escorting Mark off the bus, his hands now behind his back in cuffs. 

He rushed past them, clambering through the door and up the stairs to get to you, calling your name. 

“Reid?” he heard your small tired voice through the crowd. 

He followed it to you, laying on the ground struggling to open your eyes and clutching your left arm. 

He crouched down to your level with a gentle hand on your uninjured arm. 

“Hey, I’m here. I’m right here,” he comforted. 

“My head hurts,” you mumbled.

His eyes softened, “I know. I think you might have a concussion, you need to go to the hospital.” 

You slowly started to fade out of consciousness. Spencer’s heart dropped and his hand moved from your arm to your face. 

“No no no no stay with me okay?” he caressed your cheek with his thumb.

“Stay with me sweetheart,” he consoled.

Your eyes stopped struggling to stay open and finally made their close. His other hand rushed to your pulse point as he called for a medic.

Time seemed to stand still while Spencer sat next to your hospital bed waiting for you to wake up. He couldn’t leave your side. He didn’t want to. 

You were okay. You were laying in the bed in front of him. But of course in his mind he ran through all the possible scenarios of how things could’ve gone worse, how things could’ve gone better. What would’ve happened if you didn’t have your gun taken away, or if the unsub got angry that you tried to bring a gun in. What if he didn’t lose his cool and start firing. What if you never went inside in the first place. 

And with all of those possible scenarios, the same thought plagued him. 

He was wrong. 

Before he was too scarred from past traumas to reveal just how much you meant to him. Not wanting to repeat the past and lose yet another person he loved cared for. 

But now, after seeing you in danger right in front of him, now he was terrified at the thought of you never knowing. He was now more scared you would never know how much he loved the way your nose crinkled when you smiled. How he thought the sound of your voice could cure any ailment he had. How he admired your strength and desire to protect others. How you could light up anyone's mood by just being you. How he could listen to you for hours, even if you were lecturing him on things he’d known like the back of his hand.

To him it was a whole new experience hearing it from you. 

Spencer was pulled from his thoughts as you stirred awake. He saw your eyes adjust to the bright fluorescent lights ahead. He quickly got up to dim the lights for you. 

When he returned to his seat you smiled at him, “hi.” 

“Hi,” he smiled back.  

“How are you feeling?” 

You sighed. “Like shit,” you complained with a hint of humor. 

“The doctor said you have a minor head injury, bruised ribs, and the shot to your arm thankfully didn’t break any bones.” 

“Fun,” you said sarcastically. 

A moment of silence passes between you two. He doesn’t exactly know what to say. How do you casually tell your friend and coworker you have a crush on them? 

There is no casual way. 

“You called me sweetheart,” you broke the silence. 

He furrowed his eyebrows, “What?” 

You fidget with the blanket, “earlier, when I passed out on the bus. You called me sweetheart.”

He searches his mind for the memories of the day. When he finds the memory he realizes in the heat of the moment the term of endearment slipped out. 

He wasn’t aware you heard it. 

“I did,” he confirmed as his ears flushed.

“Why?” you asked curiously. 

He didn’t know how to tell you that he’s wanted to call you that for weeks now. So instead he settled with-

“It just … felt right.” 

“Oh,” you replied quietly.

Spencer tensed up at your response. 

“If I crossed the line-“ 

“No. Of course not,” you interrupted with a comforting voice. 

The corners of your mouth lifted and cheeks dusted pink. “I thought it was sweet. You don’t normally say stuff like that.”  

His heart warmed at your confession and a smile spread on his face. 

“You thought me calling you sweetheart was sweet?” he lightly teased.

“Shut up,” you chuckled, rolling your eyes. “You know what I mean.” 

Your laughter was cut short by a sharp pain in your abdomen. You bit down on your lip and gripped the side of the bed in pain. 

The reality that you were injured on the job was rushing back to him. 

He licked his lips, his nervous unconscious habit. 

“I was really worried about you.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t,” he interjected. 

“The entire time you were on that bus I was sick to my stomach. Terrified that something bad was gonna happen and it did,” he started to ramble. 

You leaned closer to him. ”But I’m okay Reid.”

“You still got hurt. He shot you for christ sake!” his voice raising in pitch and volume. 

“Reid-”

“He lashed out at you! You could’ve died!” 

“Spencer,” you said firmly, pulling his attention towards you. 

He never heard you say his name before. No matter how many times he said you could call him Spencer, you still called him Reid. Hearing his name fall from your lips was like the consistency of honey.

You placed your hands on his face caressing his cheek. His golden eyes meet yours. 

“I’m alright. I’m still here,” you consoled. 

“But if-“

“Spencer.”

“Please,” he pleaded. “It’s important.” 

You nodded your head, signaling for him to continue. He gently grabbed your wrists and brought your hands in his. He took a deep breath before he decided to spill the thing that had been eating away at his heart. 

“I have feelings for you. I have for a long time. Almost as long as you’ve been at the BAU,” he started. 

With your hands in his he started tracing his thumb over your knuckles. 

“If we don’t have work I count down the days until I can see you again. When I do see you I desperately want to see you smile, see you happy. And if I’m the one that causes that smile, it makes my whole day. That’s why I never interrupted when you talked about something I already knew. The way your face lit up when you talked with such passion was the highlight of my day.” 

“For months I was scared of my feelings and I kept them to myself. I was too scared to admit how much I liked you because I-” his hold on your hands tightened.

“I know what it feels like to lose someone. This job takes so much from us; I never wanted it to take you.” 

Spencer let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. 

“Today I realized it would be more painful if I went the rest of my life not telling you, than having even a fraction of a moment with you.”

A moment of silence danced between you two. Your head reeling from his confession, heart beating so hard you could feel it in your bones. Your palms sweaty from holding onto Spencers, but still neither of you let go. 

The silence was deafening, plaguing him. 

“Please … say something,” he begged. 

Your lash line was collecting tears that you simultaneously tried blinking away. Your eyes found his tie less intimidating than his gaze.

“I never thought you would like me back,” you said with a soft tone. 

Spencer's cheeks turned red as his heart started melting. “I do.” 

You brought your eyes back to his. That precious smile on his face was infectious. 

“Listen,” you squeezed his hands. “I’m not going anywhere. So you have as much time with me as you want.” 

Spencer's eyes softened at your words. He raised your hands and placed a loving kiss on your knuckles. 

The two of you were too lost in eachother to notice the footsteps towards the room. 

“Hey, I found some Jello for her if she-” Alex abruptly stopped once she noticed what she walked into. 

You both awkwardly pulled your hands away from each other; you fiddling with the hospital blanket, him rubbing his palms on his slacks. 

“So, feeling better?” she asked hesitantly. 

“Much,” you answered, still a bit flustered. 

“Good, good to hear,” She tried not to sound too smug, but the small smile on her face said otherwise. 

She raised and shook the jello container in her hand. 

“I’m gonna leave this here,” she placed it on the table. “I’ll be back in a bit.” 

“Thanks Blake,” you thanked as she left. 

Once she was gone you quietly giggled and mumbled “oh my god,” under your breath. 

“You know, she kept teasing me asking when I was going to ask you out. And don’t even get me started on Morgan,” he chuckled, shaking his head. 

Your jaw dropped and eyes furrowed. “Did everyone else know but me?” 

He pressed his lips in a thin line, “pretty much.” 

“I must be a shitty profiler,” you half joked.

“Absolutely not,” he said in the most comforting voice. He brushed the hair that had fallen in front of your face behind your ear. 

“You’re an amazing profiler.” 

You smiled that smile he loved so much. The one where you couldn’t hide your joy and your nose crinkled. 

“So, how do you think you’ll spend all those moments with me?” you inquired with a bit of a teasing tone. 

“Doing anything sweetheart,” he answered seriously. He looked at you with awe written all over your face. “I'm ready for anything with you.” 

“in omnia paratus” - ready for anything

Tag asks: @adrienneleclerc @ladybirdbeetle7

[homesick4la]

intimate — hamzahthefantastic

contains: 18+ content mdni!!!!, oral + fingering (fem receiving), inexperienced reader

summary: you spend a random friday night. exploring physical intimacy with your boyfriend.

a/n: cooked this up at 2 am and wanted to post hi

part 2: closer

you and hamzah had been dating for a couple months-

on one random tuesday evening, you and your best friend had decided to go out to your local karaoke bar. during your cover of carly simon’s you’re so vain, your eyes locked with a pair of big brown eyes from across the room. he had curly hair poking out of a camo hat and a silly shirt on. he’s cute, you thought.

the several shots you had taken throughout the night left you feeling brave. you smiled at him and continued to hold eye contact with the stranger throughout the duration of the song- performing as if it were only you two in the room.

a smile spread across his face and he quickly began mouthing the lyrics back to you. mirroring the emotion you poured into each word. and in that moment, even though he was a stranger at the time, you fell completely head over heels for him.

he approached after you finished the song, applauding you on your performance and introducing himself. you two spent the rest of the night talking. not only was he even more attractive up close- he was hilarious. he understood all of your niche internet references and matched your sarcastic jokes. once the karaoke bar begun closing up, he quickly asked if you’d want to coffee in the morning which you replied with an immediate and over-eager “yes.”

since then the two of you were inseparable. he loved taking you on planned out dates but even more than that, he loved doing mundane life tasks with you. cleaning. grocery shopping. helping you take your laundry down to the local laundry mat. he’d do absolutely anything as long as he got to be around you.

so in many ways, your guys’ relationship resembled an old married couple. the way you bantered back and forth. the way you shared your darkest secrets with one another. the way you could simply never get sick of each other’s presence.

the one thing you two had never truly explored was physical intimacy.

you’d made out of course. and there were definitely times you wanted more. but neither of you had ever initiated anything more.

hamzah had never directly asked, but he figured you didn’t have much experience after you told him you had never had a boyfriend. this was why he was so hesitant to pursue anything further than kissing with you. he would never want you to feel pressured in any way so he decided he’d wait for you to initiate that you wanted more.

it was like any other friday night- the two of you making out on hamzah’s couch, neglecting the movie that took thirty minutes to decide on.

a soft moan escapes your mouth and hamzah allows himself to let his hands slide down your waist to your hips. he grips onto them, pulling you closer than you thought possible.

with his hips pressed against you, you feel just how turned on he is. and god, you feel the same.

you hook a leg around his hips, allowing him to press into you even deeper. you push your hips up and the friction is downright intoxicating.

within seconds, the two of you are grinding together, completely clothed. the kisses getting messier and messier. satisfied sounds coming from the both of you.

hamzah’s hands roam your body, unable to stay still. his hands slide under your large t-shirt as he moves from your mouth to your jaw. his fingers begin tracing the lace of your bra as he kisses alongside your neck.

you guys had never gotten this heated before. the thought of what’s to come makes you nervous. he feels you stiffen under him.

“you okay?” he looks up at you worriedly.

“y-yeah i just, never done this before,” you admit.

“s’okay we won’t do anything you don’t want to do,” he moves his hand, rubbing the side of your waist soothingly. “whenever you tell me to stop, i will.”

“i don’t want to stop,” you confess. he nods before placing his lips back on your neck.

“what have you done before?” he asks between kisses.

“nothing. only kissing.”

hamzah learning that you’d done nothing at all had suprised him a bit.

“really?” he looks at you, “no guy has ever tried anything with you before?”

“no. i guess no guy has ever wanted me like that,” you explain. truly, you had never felt sexy or desirable until meeting hamzah. he was constantly reminding you of just how attractive you were.

“shut up.” he grins like he doesn’t believe you before placing a sweet kiss to your lips. “you’re perfect.” he kisses your cheek gently. “s’beautiful,” his lips move to your jaw once again.

“and so fucking sexy.” his low voice vibrates against the skin on your neck. “and i want you like that.”

you feel his fingers play with the edge of your t-shirt. he glances up to you as he starts to pull up the fabric- asking permission. you nod in response.

he runs his hands over your lacy bralette. you arch your back, allowing him to unclip and completely remove your bra, leaving you in a small pair of black lacy boy shorts.

you feel vulnerable- nervous.

but he’s staring at you as if this is the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen.

he kisses you. placing one hand on your breast. the other cupping the side of your face, tilting your head back so he can deepen your kiss. his fingers work your nipple before being replaced by his mouth.

then he moves towards your stomach, kissing his way down. you spread you legs automatically, giving him more room to work his way down your torso. the thin fabric of your boy shorts getting wetter and wetter by the second.

he stops right before your boy shorts, hooking his fingers at the band of them.

“this okay?” he asks, his big brown eyes looking up at you.

“yeah, keep going.” you nod and shift your hips closer toward him, feeling needy.

just like that, your lacy shorts are being thrown to the side. hamzah’s hands go to the inside of your thighs, spreading you wider before placing sweet kisses on both inner thighs.

his sweet kisses are replaced by his tongue running up the inside of your thigh. he’s taking his time but god the anticipation is killing you.

you whimper and his tongue is immediately running up and down your folds and then circling your clit slowly. your hands hold onto his dark curls, earning a deep groan from him.

he continues to suck on your clit in a way that makes you feel like your floating. and you simply cannot contain the satisfied moans leaving your throat.

he lifts his mouth up and the loss of contact makes you want to cry until you see his hand moving up your thigh.

the pad of his thumb presses your clit, making slow circles.

“do you ever touch yourself like this?” he asks, his voice confident and curious.

“y-yeah.” you answer, barely able to get words out.

“yeah?” he grins, “what do you think about, baby?”

the sound of his voice makes the knot in your stomach grow stronger.

“this,” you admit, “i- think about you t-touching me like this.”

he slips a finger inside you. a devilish smile on his face.

“i think about you too.” he slides a second finger in. “i’ve thought about this so many times.”

“thought about how wet you’d get for me. how pretty you’d look when i make you come..”

he cuts himself off, his mouth now occupied with completely devouring your core. his two fingers still pumping in and out of you at a pace that makes you see stars.

“want you..to come..all over my fingers.” he says breathlessly.

all you can do is let out a shuddered sigh in response. you’re so close. his fingers increase in pace, perfectly coordinating with his tongue. you tug on his hair, needing to grasp onto something.

“hamzah,” you whimper. “hamzah, i’m going to-“

you don’t even get to finish your sentence before you cry out. pleasure flooding over your entire body in a way it never has. a way much more intense than anything you’d done on your own.

he removes his fingers and brings his hand towards your face.

“open your mouth,” he says, looking up at you. “want you to know how fucking good you taste, pretty girl.”

you taste his fingers in your mouth, sucking them clean before releasing them.

he grins at you before pressing his mouth to yours, kissing you gently.

he pulls away, tracing his fingers up and down one of your arms soothingly.

“feel good?” he questions.

“so good,” you laugh, still catching your breath after your orgasm.

he kisses your temple before pulling you up, positioning you two upright on the couch once again with his arm around your waist.

“so should we restart this movie- because it was actually really good before you started distracting me.”, you tease.

“girl, don’t even.” he responds, pulling you closer towards him and holding up the remote to rewind the movie.

a/n: guys i have never written any sort of smut so sorry if this awful and too long and boring… might delete this after like a day…lol but i will write more if u guys want… tehe… k bye muah

p.s. there is a fly in my room and it’s 3:30 am and i can’t sleep and all i can hear is the goddamn fly buzzing around me

[theminecraftbee]

why hbomb94 should be the next new hermit: no listen this isn't just me being ridiculous listen listen--

okay but like. after today i am ON THIS TRAIN. i am FULLY CONVINCED that hbomb94 would be one of the BEST POSSIBLE CANDIDATES for "new hermit for hermitcraft". and please, just listen to my case for this:

so, after today, i'm fully convinced hbomb is a perfect vibes match for many hermits. he gets along well! he's actually pretty good at staying at hermitcraft levels of pg in videos (like, not swearing--he makes like, the catmaid jokes, but that's nothing worse than whatever ren gets up to on a given day). he's also relatively chill, already friends with a lot of the hermits, and connects well with them on a content creation level. like, he's excited for them, he slots into the bits well, the bits he brings to the table are picked up easily by the other hermits.

and the thing is... okay i KNOW hbomb isn't a huge base builder. i watched vault hunters smp too. but the thing is... he doesn't have to be! you see, there's a certain hermit niche they haven't invited a new hermit into in a while, and that's the niche that someone like joe hills or zedaph (or i'd argue etho or cubfan) occupies. it's the 'weird' niche. i don't think hbomb would be a builder hermit. i don't think he'd be a redstoner either. what he'd be good at is things like... hermits helping hermits! building minigames! have you seen hbomb actually, half of what he did on dsmp or on his main youtube is building minigames and escape rooms. he'd have good vibes! he'd show up to all the events! he'd probably RUN some events!

what he'd be is a new chill, friendly niche hermit, and i think we need more of those? more of the hermits who WON'T be building megabases, but WILL be building games, helping collect resources, and inventing new strange things to do. yes, sure, once again: i know hbomb isn't a builder, and next to someone like joel, that probably puts him out of contention, but... the last two hermits they invited were builders. they need a hype guy. an event guy. another team player. the escape rooms would be ENRICHMENT. it would be wonderful.

plus, i don't think he'd ever stop being a delightful audience insert about the other hermit projects. plus plus, i think he and scar and cub would definitely do a catmaid bit we'd all regret. plus plus plus i think he could do his rant about how weird beetroot is and the hermits would appreciate him for it.

as such i actually think hbomb slots in BEST of the visitors from today as a new hermit. (this is also in part because the empires crew tends to prefer much shorter seasons on their servers than hermitcraft has if they don't want to get bored and the hermits have pretty definitively decided they don't like short seasons. it's also a vibe check. skizz for hermitcraft fans, i am shaking your hand and saluting you, my guy who can't build and your guy who can't build should be hermits who join for similar reasons, we are friends.)

anyway will this actually happen? probably not. but like. listen. for the first time since hbomb hermit adoption arc started this feels VIABLE and i feel the need to make my case for why i want him on because the moment the season rolls over and we start speculating about new hermits this is the guy who has my vote please do you understand now please he'd be so fun--

[jaehaeryshater]

In 60 AC, the first egg of the latest clutch laid by Vhagar hatched. At the age of 112, Vhagar was already a seasoned mother. Vhagar was an adequate mother by all accounts, but up until then, a hands off and tough love type. She made no fuss until Caraxes hatched from his egg. Born with a birth defect, he at first had a hard time flying or even walking. Vhagar was extremely attentive, always nuzzling and “talking” to him, making sure he was alright. Caraxes, always the performer, soaked up the attention of his mother. He always yipped at her and followed her around, none the wiser of her concern or his defect.

beautiful commission by the lovely @moonwyvern

I haven’t shared my dragon family tree on here yet, but I firmly set Caraxes as the offspring of Balerion and Vhagar. This is for a few reasons; first off, they are one of only two canon mated pairs at this time. Second, I believe the theory that Caraxes’s neck is not due to genetics but rather a congenital mutation caused by environmental factors picked up in Valyria by Balerion. Not sure how that would work exactly, but it’s a cool theory. All that to say, it definitely is a punch to the gut that Caraxes and Vhagar were made to kill each other. There was a time, in my opinion, that Vhagar felt instinctual “love” for her hatchling, and I wanted to show that. We also usually see Vhagar as blood thirsty and a war dragon, and she is, but my goal was to represent that she’s just an animal at the end of the day, and to show a softer side of her in more peaceful times (also the idea that dragon naturally have a bond with their offspring, and how tragic it is that human beings severed those ties because they thought themselves above nature and more qualified to take care of the babies themselves). I also have an upcoming commission of Vhagar and her mate Balerion with hatchlings even earlier on in the timeline, so watch out for that. Vhagar has a special place in my heart, and I’m always here for more content.

Also, Vhagar was riderless at this time; if Visenya had taken away Caraxes it would have been easy, but I imagine when Jaehaerys proclaimed that they must take Caraxes away from her, she screamed and squalled and bit off the dragonkeeper’s hand and burned two others. I reckon the dragonkeepers always had a hard time taking babies away from their mothers, but an especially hard time in this case (pls pls somebody talk to me in my inbox if you want to talk dragonposting, I’m itching to talk about it).

Thank you so much to moonwyvern, they really brought my idea to life and their prices were extremely reasonable given the quality that I received. They were also very accommodating to feedback, and pleasant to work with. I am in awe of how they were able to portray exactly what I was going for. Vhagar usually looks mean or stern in artworks, but here she is curious and perhaps a little concerned, but mostly amused with her little one. Honestly, I’d recommend anybody looking for a dragon commission to go to this artist because they were great to work with and are quite versatile within their niche.

Bonus because the artist wanted to experiment with the dragonpit in the day versus night and the shadows that come with that

[cinnamonest]

With this whole 'rape fantasies are a result of misogyny as they allow women a guilt free sexuality cos they have no autonomy'

Surely that means your writing and fantasies are contributing to misogyny? Adding to it and normalising it?

Like isnt the answer to write and encourage fantasies of empowerment? Not abuse and rape?

Just seems crazy to me like 'we do this because of misogyny. And we'll keep doing it'

Obviously some behaviour come from misogyny and exist to combat it. This... really doesn't

I just don't think it's a feminist win when your writing is indistinguishable from that of a misogynistic man's.

This isnt an attack on you it just really seems like common sense that if something exists because of misogyny the last thing we should do is feed into those ideas

(I assume this is coming from this post, so I might reference that a bit here)

No worries, I fully understand how this can come across negative to those who do not have the same experiences and I appreciate you approaching the matter in a non-attacking way with genuine desire to have dialogue on the subject. I'll do my best to address these points individually.

>Surely that means your writing and fantasies are contributing to misogyny? Adding to it and normalising it?

In the past few years fandom culture has become a bit obsessed with the idea of "normalization" to the point that the definition of the term has been a bit skewed, which creates issues with these discussions.

There is no concept of which existence of content containing it alone constitutes normalization, by the actual definition of the word. Normalization is the process by which it is distributed and way in which it is presented, and intent of its creation.

Normalization via fiction is a process in which a creator, generally intentionally, creates content that presents a concept as, well, normal. That is, not reprehensible or problematic to replicate, and presents this to a population with the intent of them accepting the idea as something acceptable in reality. Generally it also necessitates that the creator will try to ensure the media is viewed by mainstream general audiences who would not normally seek the content out, since the purpose of normalization is to make an idea acceptable amongst a population.

That is the opposite of what I am doing, which is creating a private space filled with warnings. I am going out of my way to ensure that people who do not want to see this content, have the foreknowledge to opt to avoid it.

By definition, if you’re creating content and ensuring that it is heavily warned, and marketing it as such that only a niche group who likes such content seeks it out, that’s not normalization by any reasonable metric.

>Like isnt the answer to write and encourage fantasies of empowerment? Not abuse and rape?

For some people, I’m sure that would help them, and in that case, that is a great solution for them.

But people are different, and certain things that help some, don’t help others. The types of fantasies that would probably be called “empowering,” personally do nothing for me but make me uncomfortable, in the same way that the sort of content I write makes some people uncomfortable. It does not have the same positive effects on my mental health that this form of content does.

>Obviously some behaviour come from misogyny and exist to combat it. This... really doesn't

That's fair — but it doesn't have to.

It is not intended to directly combat misogyny in any way, there are other ways to do that, and this does not have to be one. It's primary purpose is catharsis and the ways in which it benefits me and, as is my hope, those who choose to consume it.

>I just don't think it's a feminist win when your writing is indistinguishable from that of a misogynistic man's.

Again, I never had any intention for it to be a "win" — misogyny is the reason for why I have these desires, but in making what I make, my purpose is to provide catharsis for myself and others.

But also, I would heavily contest that it is indistinguishable from male fantasies. As someone who has seen actual men's misogynist fetishization fantasies, they are very different.

Female disposability and the complete worthlessness of women’s very being — that is, women being non-human objects that are interchangeable, and made to be used temporarily and replaced — is the core defining characteristic of male fantasy/sexuality. Male fantasies almost always involve multiple women to one man, largely because he does not have any actual bond with women, they are items to be collected, no interpersonal relationship actually exists.

The lack of interpersonal connection and lack of personableness itself is fetishized by men, what men get off to is the power they feel from completely disregarding the woman as a person in any way. The very act of the woman being thrown away after being used is fetishized.

In male fantasy, there is no interpersonal connection or affection of any kind, whereas that is one of the defining themes of content like mine.

Tl;dr — while misogyny impacts all women, the severity and form of it in different upbringings, environments and cultures can create misunderstandings and strong reactions when different people react so differently to the same content and thus form misconceptions about each other's perceptions and intentions, but I believe both sides of this argument are usually coming from a place of good intent.

While I fully understand how it would be difficult for those who do not have the same experience to grasp mine, I just ask for mutual understanding that some forms of content help some people, in the same way entirely different forms of content help other people.

[lurkingshan]

hi there i hope you don't mind me asking for recs! this might be a bit too specific but do you know any (good) bls with age gap? i've only watched old fashion cupcake and minato's laundromat and i'd love to see more of that dynamic. have a good day!

Hi anon! I am delighted to talk about age gap bls with you. A few notes about how I define this:

I think of a true age gap romance as one where the narrative is at least in part driven by the age difference, not one where the characters are just incidentally different ages but it doesn't really matter to the story

The age gap needs to be significant enough that it puts the characters in different phases of life, so something like a college freshman dating a senior doesn't count

I also don't count supernatural stories where there's a massive age gap as a function of one of the characters being immortal, that's a totally different genre and narrative intent IMO

I will only include a show in this list if the age gap is between the main pair or a very significant side pair who has a lot of story time

So this means I would not be including shows like My Tooth Your Love or The New Employee where there is technically an age gap but everyone is adults and it doesn't really matter to the story. Or shows like Cutie Pie and Love in the Air, which do play with power dynamics somewhat based in age but where the actual gap is negligible and the story isn't about their age difference. Or something like Ossan's Love where there is an age gap pairing in contention but it's not actually the core romance of the story. Then there are shows where on paper there is an age gap between the main characters but the production cast actors the same age, so it never actually feels like an age gap story no matter how many times they write in dialogue trying to convince me that 28 year old is 40 (I love you dearly, Moonlight Chicken but please be serious).

So all that said, there are not as many proper age gap bls as you'd think! You'll note that this rec list is dominated by Japan and Taiwan, the absolute rulers of this trope. Productions in these countries love to dig into an uncomfortable taboo, and a true age gap romance fits nicely in that niche. Thailand doesn't play much in this space thanks to their branded pairs system that puts close-in-age actors together (and the couple times they tried large age gap romances were so terrible that I shan't speak of it). Korea has surprisingly done very little on this despite noona romance being one of the most popular kdrama subgenres. Where are all the hyung romances, I ask you??

With all that rambling out of the way, onto the list of age gap bls I recommend checking out.

History 2: Right or Wrong

An under appreciated entry in the HIStory franchise that pairs an overworked single father who is neglecting his parenting duties and the student he hires to help look after his kid.

History 3: Make Our Days Count

These two are technically a side couple, but they get near equal story time to the mains and they are an exemplar of a great age gap romance that gets the character dynamics exactly right to mitigate the uncomfortable power differential when one is an adult and the other is still growing up. My personal favorite age gap bl pair.

History 4: Close To You

This one's for the girls who like to tackle multiple taboos at once. Not only age gap, but also stepbrothers, with a bit of personality disorder thrown in for flare! And somehow with all that mess, they tell the story so well and make you believe. Do not @ me, I said what I said!

Kiseki: Dear to Me

I know many folks remember this show primarily for the side couple, but the mains actually have a very well done age gap romance between a gangster and a high school student he accidentally drags into hell with him. The plot of this show is absolutely not to be taken too seriously, just have fun and go with it!

Lovely Writer

The only Thai bl I think qualifies under the definition above and actually tells its story very well. This one is interesting because you get to see them both as kids and as adults and see how their age difference and its effect on their relationship shifts over time.

Minato's Laundromat

You already mentioned this one, anon, but I'm putting it on this list for posterity. A classic age gap bl with a romance between a repressed older man and the persistent teenager who worships him.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

Winner for most significant age gap in terms of years, this show is about a mid-20s editor who falls for a writer twice his age after meeting him on the job. So much glorious food and sexual tension.

Old Fashion Cupcake

Another one you've already seen going on the list for posterity. A workplace age gap romance with a younger man pursuing his mentor via foodie dates. One of the best Japanese BLs ever made, period.

The Pornographer

A maladjusted (to put it mildly!) man gets hit by a young student on a bicycle, and uses the situation to bring him into his home as a writing assistant. Things get pretty fucked up from there. This is one of my favorites and very under appreciated in part because you have to chase the story across two series, two shorts, and a movie to get the full narrative. Trust me, it's worth it!

[girldriveroscar]

Parasocial Oscar and Landoscar analysis ahead u have been warned.

Contextually, 2020 Oscar was finally pushing open the door to the world of F1 as a potential driver (Mark Webber management, Renault Sport Academy, Eurocup Championship, etc.) and that fact combined with still being a schoolboy, surrounded by mates who actively followed his career and were his personal hypemen definitely made Oscar a bit of a hotshot to gossip about. Sure, he's kinda a nerd who games and races but also he's got great grades and a pretty girlfriend and he's coworkers with max fewtrell, best friend of emerging F1 heartthrob, lando norris, so really the cards were lining up in his favor. And yet none of that success (both socially, as it appeared to his peers, and personally, career-wise) went to Oscars head. Rather, he oozed this dorky endearing confidence that planted the seed of cool self-certainty that'd follow him into his F1 career. I mean from the very start, we can witness how Oscar took everything in stride, building a strong sense of self over easily inflating his ego.

This got kinda long so the rest goes under the cut for organizing sake!

Then, observing his Prema years, Oscar was newly thrust into a whole new team vibe. And in response, he outwardly tried time and time again to be a team player with the hazing/embarrassing bits (insert multiple clips of him dancing and singing despite initial hesitation, easily accepting very personal race vlogging into his daily regime, making hundreds of silly gifs for every occasion (heavily encourage everyone to take a look bc there's genuinely so many))

NGL watching Prema vids was what initially helped me understand Oscar better/made me like him bc we get the most clear display of his lack of ego. There seemed to be a general understanding coming out of this content: the media took an exorbitant amount of energy and wasn't at all conducive to developing his racecraft. buuuuuut regardless Oscar maintained an attitude of these people are my closest thing to family out here, they care about my wellbeing and my success and god damn it if they wanna take photos in matching Christmas PJs then hand over the damn PJs. And that was all of course bolstered by his growing success and notoriety on twitter. Just as he'd established a strong sense of self from the very start, now his public identity took it's shape in a way that felt honest and lifelike <Insert Clip of Angelina pointing out his messy clothes and Piastri Shrug>. He managed to carve out a niche amongst the Prema cast and it's not that he needed to be funny but if people memed him and laughed then hey if it gets me popularity I'm all for it. 

Honestly when people dog on Oscar, saying he's got no personality it makes me crazy because it's the total opposite! I think the charm in observing his growth from Renault Academy to Prema to F1 is catching how quickly he established an unchanging confidence in not only his racecraft and wheel knowledge but also in his personality- and how that personality shines through in subtle ways. When Lando does his negging, everyone just heard Oscar sing for the first time in McLaren, am I a funny teammate, Oscar takes it in stride. He doesn't blush, nor take insult, because he has no complex - he's confident about who he is, even if people don't find it amusing. Oscar knows he's not too shy to burst into song, it's just that there isn't anyone who needs him to, so why should he? He knows Lando doesn't think he's funny, but it's not like he was trying to be anyways, so what's it matter? On the flip side too, the rare times we get an outward expression of his confidence are GEMS. The Pool Promo, where he *unprompted* shows off with a trickshot and wins, THIS VIDEO where he eggs on Lando to call lies on his confidence, calling out Carlos/Lance when they interfere with his driving, does it please you greatly that you've won before Lando, is max the best driver on the grid, the whole cricket video, etc etc.

(LOL because I write about fashion outside of this blog and someone might appreciate the connection, in my brain I kinda liken Lando and Oscar's respective confidence to loud/quiet luxury. Lando's a OOAK Hot Pink Birkin and Oscar is a Helmut Lang black slack lolol) (Not a diss btw both items have social connotations/importance that we could unpack for hours but I digress)

I digress I digress I digress. Going back to the Prema assigned humiliation rituals. In a way I think Oscar's ethos regarding embarrassment/lack of ego heavily simplifies down to this story. His mom goes on to explain how after winning an award she gave him a big kiss in front of the whole school and, contrary to how most kids would be embarrassed or angry at the sudden loud affection, Oscar just brushed it off like no matter! "He's just resigned to it" <- literally the most OP81 psychoanalysis of all time thank you Nicole Piastri. For Oscar, the implied embarrassment he should be feeling does not register, as he simply receives love without any grievances, and hasn't the mind to worry how everyone else perceives this exchange. I swear I have a point pls stick with me. So, reiterating, this is the Prema treatment, sitting in front of the camera, Oscar resigns to producing content that's at least moderately enthusing because at the end of the day, the love for his team and the people he's working with is what's worth sacrificing mystery or "cool-ness" for. And even that's a bit of a misstep because I don't think he views it as a sacrifice so much as 'being perceived' doesn't fall on his radar of important things at all. Which! is what makes Oscar SO effortlessly nonchalant in an objectively cool way! (like this is where the more surface-level likening to Kimi Raikkonen <certified Ice Man> comes from) (The real Oscar freaks know he's not any cooler than his indifference and he's actually an incredibly endearingly awkward guy. He just doesn't take himself too serious, idk you get it.)

Now continuing down this timeline, F1 Oscar, who's got exponentially more eyes on him and a humongous team of people who's names he is still learning- comparatively, who is the one guy he can definitely remember the name of. In this transfer of teams and people, all this “I love you even if its kinda objectively embarrassing for me” energy Has to go somewhere and where else would it go than the one guy who’s name he can remember; the one guy in the same exact position as him; the one guy who he’s followed and idolized since 14! YEAH YEAH. And now Lando himself is hardly an extrovert like Oscar’s old prema friends/coworkers, so instead of yes I'll do a stupid dance so you can have good content and make your job easier Oscar -Acts of Service- Piastri has kinda got the most easy job in the world of loving Lando —I just want to make eye contact and know you hate/love this as much as I do— Norris. Like they genuinely match each others freaks in the sweetest introverted mutually beneficial way.

When you really dissect Oscar's Prema content, he’s equally expressive to everyone! He stares holes in the heads of Fred/Logan, doubles over laughing at Arthur/Robert, blushes over Angelina's teasing; it's a sanction of his care and attention divulged to each person in his sphere, one slice of the Oscar cake. Now take Lando? He's been treated to the whole Oscar Cake with a side of ice cream and a cherry on top. Like imagine if you had 10 glasses of water and you poured all of that water into one glass. Suddenly it’s overflowing and there’s water all over the table and the mess is apparent to everyone and the waiter is bringing over towels and someone's grandma just fucking slipped in the puddle and there's a baby crying and- right? right. Oscar’s love language that was distributed across an entire team of people now has nowhere to go but Lando. And not only is it love in respect to the game, it's I've known you years before you knew me, I fell asleep to your voice, watched you grow into the man you are today type love. Oscar is folded at the waist drowning Lando, staring at him with the force of 10x one man's ration of love and we are all god's honest witnesses! Yea no wonder he want that cookie so effing bad tf!!!!!

And it’s such a compelling dynamic because Oscar has been ready to transfer that quiet affection since the very beginning (had old pics of Lando on his phone up through his first year of F1 rightttt right) and since the start of it all, we just get front row seats to Lando reacting to this unconditional respect/love. WHICH IS EVEN GREATER FOR THE FREAKS AND THE WEIRDOS BC LANDO IS SUCH A WEIRDO AND HIS COMPLEXES TOWARDS OSCAR ARE SO COMPLICATED. Basically like. idk. I love when they beef bc Oscar is like I love u I love u I love u and landos like idgaf I’m cheating on u actually no I’m sorry come here I will give u silly nicknames reserved for only me to call u, but actually fuck u and ur talent I’m not spraying u w champange but also oh my god I’m a mess come be freaky w me about it,,,,, the put Lando Norris in a scenario versus his own mind agenda is great. (Bringing back the og tag to just say not ln4 hate, i just like to observe him like a bug in a jar and shake the jar hard bc he is a millionaire and my silly wabbit who I experiment on) anyways. Yea. Lando is complex. Oscar is cool bc he doesn’t care if he is cool and yet simultaneously he's so uncool bc having a crush on a guy for 8 years before being his mclaren arranged failhusband has never been easier nor sexier. OKAY. NO MORE. for now.

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

Hey bestie, dropping by with a mea culpa. When Peaceful Property started, you expressed concern that GMMTV was inching toward a model of using bl pairs in shows that would avoid being explicitly gay but still draw on shipping fandom to be successful. Coming off The Trainee, which was not a bl but did have expIicitly queer characters and romance subplots, I wasn't sure the intentions were quite that dark for PP, but having now finished it and seen the way some in the production have interacted with shipper fans, I have to call it: you were right to be concerned. At no point was this show ever a bl and none of its principal characters are canonically queer, but they successfully leveraged the TayNew ship to have fans interacting with it as if it was in fact a gay love story, that idea and fan commentary was explicitly encouraged by the creators, and the show has been quite successful despite never actually delivering on all the TayNew bait. I'm definitely concerned that we might have somehow swung back around to queerbaiting being seen as acceptable and good, as long as it features popular branded pairs. I don't have any bigger thoughts to offer about how this should be addressed, but just wanted to come back and say you were valid for naming that!

Thank you. I didn't want to be correct. And I am still hoping to wrong about what this says about where GMMTV is going.

But I am not gonna lie, seeing the posts about the finale did regnite the massive fury I had at this project when it was first called a bromance. So I am going to use your ask as an opportunity to vent.

FOR THE RECORD: I am not mad at you, or at the people and mutual on my dash that have enjoyed the show and are claiming as gay out of spite. My anger is at GMMTV and at GMMTV alone.

THEY DID THIS SHIT TWICE ALREADY!!! Back to fucking back.

I know High Schoool Frenemy is being watched by like 5 people on tumblr. But it's doing well outside of tumblr. They are using bl style fanservice with the 2 main boys of that show. I have seen the shippy content and compilations along with the other bl couples. Not to mention people like Jojo saying those characters are the his new favorite ship on twitter.

AND I AM SO PISSED!!!!

I am glad you brought up TayNew because there is no doubt in my mind that they used TayNew for Peaceful Property as a test. They knew there could be backlash. They knew the bl fandom could have rioted. But they also knew that if it that rage would have been directed at TayNew not at the director, not the company but TAYNEW.

And I think TayNew knew this. Because they spend weeks on social media doing preintive damage control, I have seen the posts of them (or at least New) saying it wasn't going to be romantic. I don't think the two of them forgot how they were left to eat the shit alone over the bullshit backlash during the TayGun kiss situation with GMMTV doing fuck all for them.

And what pisses me off is that BL audience didn't even give a backlash. They eat that shit up like it was fucking icecream.

The BL audience is literally doing their job for them. They are taking a show with some gay subtext and running with it.

They are showing up for the fanservice (again broder audience outside of tumblr), and gleefully closing their eyes and ears and saying well I Think It's Gay.

What do you think Mega Corporation GMMTV is going to take from the success and no backlash? If the answear is anything but: We can produce half of the BLs as usual and make the rest Bromances, you have more faith in corporations then I do.

Because Bromances can be watched by non BL audiences as well. The BL niche is a big one, but it is still a niche.

And now they won't even have to bother inserting arguable quality gay commentary or struggles or homophobia. Or any gay kissing, no more workshops. No more worries about how effective these potential straight boys are going to be at playing gay. All they have to do is making them do fanservice, and they are great at training people for that. Or better yet, actually use one or two ships that have kissed before and done actual BLs.

Will they stop doing BL at all, obviously not, you gotta give the BL audience something to remind them they can still show boys kissing, and we have the Ex Morning and Jojo that will never actually stop making BLs and some gay shit. But if in the next line up we will more bromances, and eventually we get half BL and half bromances I wouldn't be surprised.

Of course maybe I am just pessimistic and cynical. Maybe the proto bdsm in the heart killers is enough to persuade people that I am totally wrong. I guess we will see about that.

Thanks again for the ask and the oppurtunity to vent a little. Again I don't fault anyone for enjoying this, it was design to get the BL audience watching.

I will personally be keeping with my own resolution and never watch another gmmtv show live ever again, maybe binge the few that sound interesting and that's it.

At least I can find comfort in the idea that that other companies do not have the same level of BIG cast of boys and big budget to do the same thing and follow in the bromance trend.

[mcromwell]

Four years ago, I installed TikTok and began making art videos to promote my art business. I steadily got better at making videos, had a few big hits, grew my follower count to 75k (my largest on any social platform ever, to this day) and even qualified for the app's creator program, which netted me a fair chunk of change for a few months. Right when I started considering it an integral part of my business, engagement started tanking. Despite my follower count and trying to keep up with trends and editing techniques designed to retain viewers, my videos went from getting about 10k views to less than a thousand--that's not even 10% of my follower-count. The app slowly stopped recommending my videos to anyone, followers or on the FYP. For months. And then after TikTok was voted to be banned in the US, it got even worse, and the CEO even stated in his video addressing the ban that they would "not be able to pay creators as much due to spending more money on legal fees to challenge the vote". At that time I was grimly reminded of what I already knew about social media sites: they aren't your friend and they don't care about you. They'll give you something "nice" (a chance at monetization and virality) with the hope that you'll keep making content for their content farm, and when your videos don't get views, the gambling mindset of "maybe next video will do well" or "the algorithm is just weird right now, maybe it will improve if I just keep going" will keep you addicted.

I finally hit a wall. I can't waste my time. I have very little time to achieve what I want to due to my health. So making videos that get 300 views and no comments is definitely a waste of my time. I used to say good things about the algorithm, how it shows you niche things instead of only just the popular stuff, but clearly that isn't the case. My videos posted elsewhere get tons more interactions and engagement. I am stepping back from TikTok for a while; I even uninstalled it. The endless scrolling is not good for me, either.

All that to say: art videos will be less frequent. The only places I'd be making them for is Instagram and YouTube, and I think if I'm going to pick one to focus on, it'll be Youtube. Subscribe to my channel here, where I am slowly uploading my entire TikTok catalogue of hundreds of art videos.

TikTok did great things for me when it worked. It was really exciting for me to hear folks at in-person events say stuff like, "Oh, I saw a video of this painting!" "Your process is so fun to watch!" I won't forget the support everyone gave me. Thank you.

I hope to use this extra time to focus on my practice more. I want to lean into sketchbook bundle downloads, Patreon, and just simply drawing more! Exploring more! We'll all benefit from that. So here's to newer, healthier directions.

💖 M

[mini-ism]

⋆ warnings: ADULT CONTENT (MDNI). camboy!au, just a lot of masturbation, donations. no beta read i am a man! not my most filthy work lol.

⋆ parings: caelus, dan heng, jing yuan, gepard landau, and blade x reader. NOT SAFE FOR MINORS.

⋆ word count: 813

⋆ notes: CAMBOY!AU, just some fun little headcanons for our favorite boys <3

⋆ tags: @lone-trailblazer @honeykaes @caelisblade

⋆ PART 2.

⋆ caelus is definitely the type to stream as a guilty pleasure. it feels so filthy to him, and he can't help but whine and moan in front of the camera for his loyal, adoring audience. babbles and cries leave his mouth as he strokes himself, precum bubbling at his tip, his hips stuttering with every motion. tears form in his golden eyes as he jerks himself, helplessly mewling as cum spills onto his hand. his voice is so pretty as you donate more to his stream, he thanks you with his breathily, whimpering at the slightest touch to his sensitive body. if you donated enough to him, he would gladly hump his pillow, although shame would catch up to him, his cheeks reddening as he realizes what he's doing. his cock is just so sensitive, and his chat really gets him going, he can't just stop if you're donating to him. maybe a one-on-one with you wouldn't be so bad if he knows what's been motivating him to cum his brains out.

⋆ dan heng started streaming as a quick side hustle, he knew he was moderately attractive, and everyone has their specific niche, and he was yours. he taunts and teases his chat with parts of his body, eventually slipping his boxers and pants off to reveal his eager cock. he would smirk and quietly stroke, a sigh leaving his lips every so often. he knew his endearing audience enjoyed how he would look through his eyebrows or stare, smiling ever so slightly at his chatroom's reaction. he never would admit how much he enjoys his audience's reaction to everything he does. originally he was silent and shy, but he warmed up to the camera as he incorporated it into his routine. he never knew the effect he had on his fans, especially you, who would donate to him every time he did something you especially loved. his streams felt so personal, you couldn't help but scream every time you came to dan heng and his perfectly sculpted body.

⋆ jing yuan is an experienced streamer. he knows exactly what makes his fans furiously type in his chat, what makes them donate, and what makes you come every time. he moans and throws his head back as he moves his hand up and down his thick shaft, smiling at the camera, his perfect golden gaze sending chills down your spine as warmth brews in your body. he licks his lips and softly whimpers, watching as donations, lewd confessions, and keyboard mashes flood in. he lazily pumps his cock with his legs spread wide open, usually sitting up but leaning back on his couch or seat. he screws his eyes shut and lets out the sweetest moan every time he cums, his seed spilling onto his porcelain hands. his white hair sticks to his face, framing it as he pants and smiles again into the camera, a sloppy grin spread onto his face.

⋆ gepard landau has an alter ego. he hides behind his username, camera angled from the torso down, his face usually covered with something or out of frame. gepard and the streamer gepard are not the same person. his voice often cracks as he touches himself, his cock twitching in his pants. his moans spill easily, laced with pure, torrid lust. a lust that gepard landau is not allowed to show. his repressed mind is so weak to your comments and your lewd words. words he wouldn't ever dare to think of, actions he performs that wouldn't ever cross his mind, all for your attention and praise. his broad chest heaves as he comes on his abs, his body twitching with pleasure as he moans loudly, hissing through his teeth as he draws his lip between his teeth, his cock dripping with thick, pearly cum. he couldn't ever tell anyone he did this. he and gepard landau are not the same person-- at all.

⋆ blade is an infrequent streamer. of all his fans, he noticed you pop in the most to watch. he cares not for anyone's praises, but when you're in his chat, he works himself as much as he possibly can. he touches himself with calloused, slashed hands, his body no longer receptive, nerves singed, skin scarred. the scars littered over his body are erotic to you, and you've made sure to tell him. he pumps himself roughly, a grunt escaping every once in a while. although, blade is kind of interesting. he maintains direct, almost threatening, eye contact with the camera, ignoring how his cock pleas for more attention, his pretty dick the most sensitive part of him left. precum gathers at the slit of his cock, using it as more lube as he furrows his brows and gazes intently at his camera. he lets out a small shudder as he cums, continuing to stroke without a second thought.

[snapscube]

Remember when people were calling you the "long lost McElroy sister"? Do you see the similarity at all, or do you think it's just because you share a similar creative niche (gaming/streaming/comedy) with the McElroy brothers?

Lol, "when" people were doing it.

I still get it to this day, friend, despite my constant protests.

I used to understand, and it was even expected initially if not personally encouraged! There was definitely a period of time where they were my biggest comedic/creative inspirations, and the truth of the matter is that I am a mannerisms sponge. I mimic people around me, and people that inspire me, and whether or not it's more than the average person I have no clue, but I will go through seasons of daily watching a particular personality or creator I'm fond of and/or inspired by and usually come out the other end having picked up certain tendencies VERY quickly, a large portion of those being speech patterns.

There's definitely a segment of my content around 2017/2018 or so where, yeah, you can very much tell I adopted a McElroy-esque speaking pattern directly (like what felt like 70% of other Tumblr users also did lol) and it was both because of how much of their content I was into at the time AND also because at the time I found their output inspiring as someone who was used to more... Loud Gamer forms of comedy, to put it bluntly. So at first I took the comparisons in stride and saw it as a signal of my own growth as an entertainer, and my ability to be funny in a way that wasn't just Loud = Funny.

But the thing you have to know about me, and my time as even a minor public figure, is that this comparison was not the first of its that was constantly levied at me, and it unfortunately was not the last one in the slightest. Some will remember the days in which I was a reasonably renowned "Bill Cipher" impersonator in the Gravity Falls fandom, and the pattern was very similar at the time. I dealt with people CONSTANTLY telling me that, despite all of my attempts to separate myself from the voice work I did as the character, I always sounded Just Like Bill even when I was just using my casual speaking voice. If this sounds familiar to those of you who have only been around since the dubs popped off, it's likely because I also go through the same thing ever since I became known for Sonic impressions.

And then outside of voice work I've had my style of content continue to be compared to the McElroy's body of work and even beyond to the likes of Jerma and other big-name-of-the-era content creators. And I have to once again stress: I am completely self-aware that it is not entirely unfounded. I mean, the most recent one I got was just the other day when on stream someone told me I had a speech pattern similar to Northernlion. And like, I even admitted right then and there.... yeah! That makes sense! I've had NL compilations going into my ears and brain for hours upon hours on end lately. So I don't mean to only complain and say "this makes no sense" with delusions that it's completely baseless. BUT, I guess if I do have to circle around to a point, it would be that, though I can occasionally understand comparisons, I would hope y'all in turn can understand why it might not be an easy thing for someone like me to hear, especially in the way it never really seems to go away? Even if one like Bill Cipher fades out, the whole "SnapCube is just a female version of [insert larger male peer in the content space]" thing is something that cycles along regardless. And I get it, it's human nature to compare and contrast. I do it too! But as someone who is always trying to stand out in what I do and make my own value as an individual known above the cacophony of content saturation, I do implore people to think twice about the language they use when making otherwise favorable comparisons. Recommending my content by saying something like "if you like Jerma/McElroys/NL/etc., then SnapCube gives off similar vibes" makes of a WORLD of a difference compared to "This stream is just something Jerma would do" or "Penny is just a female Griffin McElroy" (both things I have heard almost verbatim, constantly). They approach the same ideas, but one gives me so much more of a chance to like... start off a first impression as My Own Person and not just a derivative Girl Alternative, if that makes sense.

Whoops I talked about this way too much :) Can you tell I think about this a lot LMAO

Anyway here's the obligatory joke response that's been spread before

[spoiled-milk]

blush blush characters’ (kelby, volks, eli, ichiban, cashew, and cole personal headcannons (imo‼️‼️)

a/n: doing some of my personal favorites then some lemme know if y’all want more. ik this is probably done already but like i like yapping on company time 🤪 i'm so inactive i am so sorry i am not cooking

content warning: none except for mild swearing and not proof read lmao

word count: ~2.0k words

kelby

would love love LOVE it if his s/o made him laugh or laugh at his jokes (even if they’re all sports related)

since he is an athlete and all i think that he knows how to cook healthier meals, but if you cooked anything for him, he would probably eat it since it's from you as long as it isn’t like covered in grease

he loves being around you, so if you go on morning jogs or evening jogs with it would mean the world to him and he values that a lot (even if he has to carry u halfway through the jog / walk it with you)

i don't think he would be too pushy with his diet on you, respects people and their own diets but would gently push for a healthier diet such as salads and low carb foods

if i were to suggest an ideal date for him is kayaking. it's a great work-out for him and it's a great opportunity to show you all the breathtaking sights that the river y'all kayak has to offer

kelby has weekly basketball games, baseball games, and swim meets, and he understands that it is a lot, but if you attended some of them or go out of your way to support him, his insides get gooey, and he feels like he could run fifteen miles

he lives and craves for physical touch. kelby will take what you can give. hugs? great. holding hands? awesome. linking your arms in his? he's in heaven

ok, to be a lil saucy here i think kelby would think you're super mega hot when you work out. here you are running on a treadmill sweat on your face and chest and he's definitely staring at you and now he's got to go to the shower rooms and get his head out of the gutters

also think of this guy’s stamina c'mon you can’t tell me that this guy would only go one wahoo round with you yk (source: me don’t ask)

eli

if you and them are even remotely the same size clothing wise, they are going to take your clothes. no asking or nothing eli will just rummage through your closet and make a fit with a few of your borrowed clothes

one time they stretched out one of your baby tees and you were so bummed out when you found it after they wore it and now eli swears to never take another one of those shirts again

would probably date someone who can put a really good outfit so that they can steal it

would also love if someone would watch anime with them please just give ouran high school host club a chance pls pls pls pls

they probably enjoy watching shoujo or slice of life but if you wanted to watch something else, they probably would watch it with you bc they like you lots

if you watch something that you started with them and watch ahead of them? they’re heartbroken. devastated. defeated. the first and the only time you did that they were inconsolable

would take you clubbing if you were up to it but if clubs aren’t your scene, they totally respect that and won’t push you out of your comfort zone

they will also take really really REALLY good care of you if you get wasted around them and they are really good at keeping you safe

very very personal BUT ELI FUCKS WITH VOCALOID‼️‼️‼️NO ITS NOT A PHASE

if you listen to vocaloid and reveal that to him he will spam you with new songs that drop by the vocaloid producers that he likes

i am a firm believer that eli fucks so hard with giga p you can’t convince me other wise sorry i make the rules

if u don’t know what vocaloid they will make you listen to a couple of songs that he thinks pass off as normal but again if you fw vocaloid then he can start showing you some niche vocaloid songs

volks

such an acts of service man. if you played his lil date thing you would know (i need to go back n double check this by playing it again)

gives off his moody dark grumpy energy but fuck it I’ll be in the minority that believes he likes being small spoon please give him head kisses he enjoys them even though he will not tell you

i think that volks in the beginning of your relationship is uncomfortable with pda but as your relationship continues, he’s gotten used to holding your hand or giving you quick pecks in public

at home though? his hands are on you always. a hand on your leg, your legs on top of his legs, his arms wrapped around your waist. he always has one of his hands on you

if you go on hikes for either leisure or to exercise, he will join you as much as possible every single time

HAS 👏A 👏 REALLY 👏 GOOD 👏 SKIN ROUTINE. he’s a model photoshop can only do so much yk. expect to do skincare together and face masks at the end of the week

has a very early bedtime (like probably 11pm or like midnight at the latest) so when he’s getting ready for bed so are you by force

if you wake up later than him whenever he has an early photoshoot, he will always prepare you a portion of whatever he made for himself

he wants you to meet his mom once it’s confirmed that y’all are serious. you two are the two most important people in his life (and he doesn’t have a lot of people in his life who matter the way that y’all do) and he wants to make sure that his mom gives you a seal of approval (as long as you make volks happy, you win her approval dw)

he knows he’s not the most romantic person out there but makes sure that you’re taken care of. that’s how he shows that he cares. he hopes that the way that he makes your bed, organizes your work desk, and applies moisturizer to your hands after you’ve long fallen asleep is able to convey the feelings of love and adoration, he has just for you

ichiban

tries to keep your relationship a secret from his fans and it works in his video formats because duh you can edit those but when he’s live streaming? he’s cooked. tf you mean he can’t just talk about how cute you are when you nap or gush about the way that you cutely hog the blankets when y’all nap together?

he was scared that his fans would not be too happy at the idea that he was in a relationship, but most of his fans were not like that at all. most of his fans are the sweetest people

some of them even tag you in some edits of ichiban and not gonna lie you watch some of them because DAYUM your man is fine

ok, some of his fans immediately become your fans when they see you on for the first time on his stream and that ichiban was not prepared for but he also was not prepared for the edits of YOU that go around his community

his chat makes it well known that if he fucks it up with you they’re all gonna come n snatch you up because you’re such a treat

is not very good with words or actions he’s kinda like a cute boyfailure but you can’t fault him too much he’s just so stinkin cute at being clueless

does this say anywhere in his voice lines or in his phone fling? no, but i do not care. um anyways, i think ichiban has a thing for building personal computers

like everything in his PC is customized. from the computer case, the motherboard, graphics card, everything. he has so much fun building them to the point where he has like 5 fully built computers off somewhere in his house because he didn't know what to do with them. to ichiban, they're like adult legos, but if legos costed even more money

if you wanted him to build you one, he totally would. probably wouldn't even charge you because he loves building them and customizing them for you (and because he's probably loaded from being a popular streamer and whatnot). ichiban would be absolutely elated if you wanted to build a PC with you if you offered. he loves doing things with you

cole

clingy clingy man touchy touchy man

this might be a little controversial but i don't think that he would like kill anybody. injure somebody? most definitely probably. (i'm probably in the minority here but i'll die on this hill)

BUT he’s very very possessive of you. does not like it when other boys pay attention to you. he wants to be the only one to see the crinkle in your eyes when you smile, or the way the sunlight hits your eyes when you’re reading in the afternoon, or see how ethereal you are when you sleep on the couch in the evening with a movie on that highlights your face just right

has articles of your clothing. has stolen a used shirt from your house just so he can use it as a pillowcase and snuggle with it at night

he will show up at your place whenever he has free time. after work, before work, he will sleepover at your place quite frequently too if you let him. your landlord is convinced that he’s your boyfriend with how frequently he comes over

loves doing mundane chores with you. washing dishes, putting away laundry, going grocery shopping, you name it and if he can help you he will. it feels like you two are a real married couple. soulmates. it squeezes his heart just right when people see you two getting ingredients for dinner and mistake you for a couple

if you have work functions where you need to bring a plus one you better call him first, he would pounce at the opportunity to be yours, even if it’s just for one evening

he’s very good with his words. he’s so cold to others but with you he’s so sweet. he can just tell if something is off with you. he somehow just knows if you had a bad day. he’ll be there with take out, movies, whatever you need (red flag honestly, but i like wearing rose colored glasses)

if you let him embrace you pre relationship, now he expects some sugar anytime he sees you. a hug when he first sees you, a hug for when you have to leave, a hug when he “accidentally” runs into you in public, etc.

cashew

he’s inexperienced, but he’s a quick learner. you’re probably his first relationship and he would never tell you, but he’s insecure about it

loves reading to you. it’s just so intimate with the two of you pressed together under the sheets. he gets butterflies just thinking about it

tell him you love his voice. that you like hearing him. he is a little aware that some people think his voice is hot but coming from you? he’ll hold it to heart. maybe he should consider recording for audiobooks

makes a reading list for you, out of love of course. he asks you what genres you like, book length, etc. even if you don’t read, should you ever ask for his recommendations he will be ready for you

go to the library with him and read pls. it doesn’t have to be date just go with him. he goes by himself all the time please go with him. you don’t even have to read books with words you can pull up the graphic novels he won’t mind promise

i imagine cashew fucks so hard with dates where it’s just the two of you (like a picnic or a walk in the park) he has so many ideas because of all the romance books he reads, but he’s scared he’s gonna botch the execution of it

treat him nicely please, again you’re his first serious relationship so don’t break his heart too bad

[wheregoodthingsthrive]

Politicizing Saiyans (but not how you might think)

To think too hard about Saiyans is my job. Especially in the context of what I do- I gotta combine my interests or else I will shrivel up like a sad little plant that hasn't seen the sun for five years nor had water in ten. So, what am I combining now? Dragon Ball and political composition, functions, and apparatuses. For reference, I am a political science student (International Relations and Military Force, specifically) so when I got into Dragon Ball, I was not expecting to be able to identify a minimally shown and explored militaristic galactic despot with vassal states with one said vassal state being a really interesting sketch of a government system so intricately avoided, I can't help but theorize and apply what I consider myself to know a lot about.

This is all personal headcanon and absolute indulgence in my own niche interests in the realms of history, world building, and political science. There is no evidence for easily 1/2 of what's going to be in here but that's how it is. This will probably be a yapping session meant to just. Get my thoughts on Saiyan structure (and Freeza Force application) out into words and hopefully (maybe, preferably) talk to other people who are equally insane about Saiyan/DB universe exploration despite having next to no evidence as to why we think the way we do lol (THIS IS VERY LONG)

I. Government Structural Basics

My favorite... Genuinely. The Saiyans are my political analysis DREAM (just without all the math). Some lore -- the first DB content I was exposed to, in full, was the 2018 Broly movie. Not the best start in terms of canonical timelines and building content from the ground up - BUT - it happened. I was not expecting a shonen manga-anime series to have a movie that opens with such a heavy handed demonstration of a tyrannical despot and vassal state patronage. Maybe I am giving it too much credit but the dictatorial, patrilineal passing of power, so seamlessly avoiding any form of deliberation or consultation we see Cold direct and the disillusioned response of the Saiyans is so so so easy to connect to an empire-vassal dichotomy that I simply cannot help myself. A vassal state, a medieval perfected concept, is a state that is beholden to an empire or superior state's power. A great example would be the Ottoman Empire and the lower cradle of S.E. Europe, feel free to go look it up. The controlled Vegetasei/Planet Vegeta encompasses this definition but ALSO it's more enriched one: "a state with varying degrees of independence in its internal affairs but dominated by another state in its foreign affairs and potentially wholly subject to the dominating state". Vegetasei is a fully functioning monarchy (more on this later, too) that is beholden to the Freeza Force with it's time, resources, militaristic strength, personnel, citizenship, and sovereignty. It functions internally with a significant degree of independence, with external function that benefits solely the dominating state. I think its not really a stretch of the brain to see the empire-vassal patron relationship here. Though we do not know HOW Cold overtook the Saiyans, the assumption of force is reasonable, a common denominator in vassal states. Or, possibly, given the Saiyan values and the expectation of the FF, they were absorbed consensually that then delved into tyrannical patronage. I don't know. This is more of a sketch of my general assumptions and thoughts for this section and a spring board for the deeper explorations of Saiyan politics.

II. Vegetasei: The Oppressive Oppressed Vassal State

Now that we've established the relationship at the core of Saiyans and their lizardy occupant, I can get into the specifics. More of my favorite thing to do! I see much discussion of the treatment of Saiyans by the Cold Dynasty but not much on the condition of Vegetasei's internal workings and authoritative structure. Which is strange as I feel the political condition of the Saiyans is just as conducive to character arcs like Vegeta's or motivations like King Vegeta's as the subjugation conducted by the Force is. So, what is Vegetasei's political composition? What makes the Saiyans, especially their prince and king, behave the way they do? Bear with me. The Saiyans are a monarchical meritocracy with values of militarism and rigid, hierarchical social cohesion philosophy. That's a lot of words. Too bad I'm going to make you read (understand) them!

III. Monarchical

This one is self explanatory but I am a yapper so yap about it I must! Saiyans are a monarchy. Wow. Shocker. But I would like to propose that the Saiyans function as a faux-mixed absolutist monarchy with hereditary expectation but is prone to socially acceptable coup d'état. Let's get some more defining out of the way. A faux-mixed absolutist monarchy is my own proposed hybrid of a mixed and absolutist monarchical structure.

Mixed: a form of government that combines elements of democracy, aristocracy and monarchy ostensibly making impossible their respective degenerations which are conceived in Aristotle's Politics as anarchy, oligarchy and tyranny.

Absolute: a form of monarchy in which the monarch rules in their own right or power. In an absolute monarchy, the king or queen is by no means limited and has absolute power.

Okay. So. We can see throughout many flashbacks to Vegetasei in its heyday that King Vegeta was surrounded by what looks like a council or military posse, constantly. He has a consultative court that, really, has no authority and might just be there for political bluff and show/posturing. We see matters of science, military, and general royal court procedures be present in King Vegeta's assembly. Paragus is described as a "colonel", implying there is a military hierarchy that spills out beneath the king. There is also a blue-cloaked Saiyan who speaks openly to King Vegeta about denying Freeza's request for the prince. Additionally, there are instances of scientists talking openly about the prince's incapacity compared to Broly to the king's face and live. So, given these, it seems these positions are places of legitimate prestige but hold no sway in political construction. Thus, I'd argue there are political apparatuses and institutional bodies placed beneath the king, who will ultimate say over them. I've included what I think the Saiyan monarchy is structured like (it's pretty rudimentary but I am not going for 100% depth*):

*You can see I denote that the presence of children makes or breaks minor positioning in the upper caste of the royal family/echelon of Saiyans. I think posterity is very important. Read more slightly below.

On top of being absolutist, I'd like to argue that the monarchy has "hereditary expectations [and susceptibility] to socially acceptable coup d'état". What do I mean by this? I believe it is pretty easy to assume that the Saiyan monarchy (given its corrupt maintenance) is held by the House of Vegeta/Court of Vegeta, depending on who you ask. I make the assumption on calling it the HOUSE OF VEGETA because of the familial name. Often, royal families are defined by the names inherited by its members (i.e. the Brits). With our prince of all Saiyans Vegeta being the fourth in his lineage, I think it is safe for me to assume this condition. From there, I work under the idea that the right of the king is passed down from parent -> child (assumedly father -> son if we look at what we have so far in canon. I would assume the same value is placed on females and that females can inherit the title of queen/whatever their female equivalent is from their father's or sole maternal parent. That's a whole other essay. Sexual dimorphism does not equal sexism but anyways). So, that covers the standard understanding of familial/hereditary expectations. Right? Sure. Hang tight. I think an important thing to note is that we never see or hear (as far as I know, please correct me if I am wrong) Vegeta call Trunks or Bulla by any term of royal value. Therefore, I'd like to make the argument that even if the royal tie is carried from generation to generation, there is only the expectation of royalty found in blood, not instant ordainment. This is where socially acceptable coups come in.

Vegeta says in the Broly 2018 movie (much to my dismay, this version is so much worse) that, upon the death of his father, "[he'll] never get to be King Vegeta" (paraphrasing). While this is a poorly written throw away line, pair it with how Vegeta never, ever refers to himself as king. Always prince. He will forever be the prince. Even Freeza observes this, albeit with malicious intent. I'd like to argue then that Vegeta, as the son of the king, is expected to fight for and win his position as king or to be purposefully given it by his father but because he can never be properly ordained/crowned as king, he is stuck as prince, dooming his lineage to never receive the rightful processes to accept their blood's expectation. This is how multiple families can compete for the throne. Should a blood-obligated child of the king fail to ascend (either by coup/force or by selection by their father), a rival family or individual can swoop in and compete for the inheritance of the throne. And how do they compete and validate their ascension to a throne that belonged to a different family? Merit. How does a son/daughter usurp, be granted, or claw their way to the throne? Merit. Which Segways perfectly into the next part of Saiyan structure!

IV. Meritocracy

Much like it's empirical controller, Vegetasei is so merit based it almost hurts. A meritocracy asserts that a government is ruled/power is held by individuals "selected on the basis of their ability". Further, "advancement in such a system is based on performance, as measured through examination or demonstrated achievement". A meritocracy also asserts that the accumulation of wealth, power, and influence is concentrated in those who are higher valued by the society itself. This I think is pretty well explained by the privilege and value placed upon those with higher power levels. Their concept of merit (as per Vegeta's narration and understanding of Saiyan culture, excusing any inconsistencies or indoctrination for a moment) is constructed on a few things: pride, capability, born caliber, and execution of these elements. The concept of these merits runs so deep in Saiyan culture that it runs BOTH ways in terms of power capacity: too weak is seen as a weakness that must be exterminated or exiled while also too powerful is seen as a danger to the fabric of society (i.e. the arrangement of power). So, merit is a double edged sword to Saiyan society and this facet of danger is increased by the Force's regime. Merit manifests itself in very different ways (that I will get to in later sections) but the important foundation here is that due to being a meritocracy, there is NO trickle down political or societal gain from the monarchy. There is only a frantic scramble up. If you are too weak, you must scathe by if you have not already been disgraced. Too strong? Either hope it's beneficial to the society or that the Force or the crown does not consider you a threat. Either way, whether you're run of the mill or an outlier in power level, the merit of your Saiyan Traits is what gets you anywhere. What I find interesting is that there is evidence that implies societal climbing while also hinging on NO social movement due to power levels being seemingly fixed at birth (or at least very early in life). I find this interesting-- in the OG Broly movie, we see the explanation that baby's power levels are observed and in the 2018 Broly movie, its implied birth power levels dictate not just what you're going to do, but how valuable you are and if you're even worth keeping on the planet.

I think the best exploration of this can be in Tarble. Despite the dubiousness of his canonicity, I find it particularly insightful that even a prince was not given the chance to be cultivated into a power house but rather nigh instantly abandoned due to two perceived faults in the classifications of merit:

No born caliber (low or untapped PL)

No capability (implied gentle spirit)

I think it also goes to show that the higher up you go in the society, the more a low PL matters to the merit of who the child is associated with. We can get more into this in the social hierarchy part but compare Tarble's position and fate with, let's say, Gine. Very different-- but the common thing is that the traits of merit are not exhibited to societal standards, garnering a societal ruling of less value, paid in either exiling or low-level societal jobs.

So, tangent aside, let's break this down in the last two categories of my aforementioned word soup of Saiyan political structure.

V. Militarism

Y'all could see this one coming. Militarism is classically defined as "the belief or the desire of a government or a people that a state should maintain a strong military capability and to use it aggressively to expand national interests and/or values." In political science (polsci), this extends into a school of thought called Realism, establishing the "security dilemma". While I do not think the full extent of this sketch of realism 100% applies to Saiyan political composition, I think it matters. Realism is defined by a few characteristics: the world is inherently anarchic, state actors are the main actors, and the security dilemma. The security dilemma asserts that a state must continue to bolster, improve, and better its militaristic prowess and power projection to defend itself and assert its own power as other states assumedly do/feel the same. Sound familiar? Security dilemma literally got the Saiyans slaughtered. Toriyama somehow managed to put the inklings of realism in an anime about a monkey boy who punches things. Anyways.

Saiyan societal structure is ALL ABOUT your place in the MILITARY, both in respects to the internal/domestic and to the foreign/Freeza employment. Let's focus on the domestic for a moment. The Saiyan Armed Forces is spearheaded by the House of Vegeta, maintained as a separate but maintained branch of the FF. The initial description of ranks were "Elites" and "low-class", showing merit assessed structure. It is a seemingly compulsory army, with some form of required service and with no retirement save for types of dishonorable discharges (example: Gine or...dying). The army is the backbone of Saiyan society, functioning on multiple levels of society and with a great menagerie of apparatuses for conducting operations. The army is dedicated to accumulation of resources, no matter the position. This is where the security dilemma assembles itself in the sketch of the army -- its entire purpose is to Saiyan bolstering (until it is commandeered by the CF/FF). The accumulation of planets, races, trade routes, resources (foodstuffs, raw goods, etc.) is the main goal of the army and the main identity-giver of any soldier. They also practice realism in that the army inherently treats ANY opposition as inherently anti-Saiyan (anarchic) and works on behalf of the state solely (state actors). I don't have too much to really say about the military given its pretty self explanatory nature. I think it's a perfect microcosm of the meritocracy and...omg...VASSAL STATE IS BACK!!!! GOSH THE ARMY IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF VASSAL/EMPIRE PATRONAGE.

As defined earlier, the vassal is subjected to the empire with "foreign affairs". The Saiyan army is its biggest hand in the international galactic arena, a force to be reckoned with and a force that is KNOWN for its impartialness in imperial conquest. The commandeering of a nation's foreign muscle is the perfect move for a vassal-owning and -employing empire. The control of the army is the swiftest, most effective move to undermine the Saiyan monarchy, society, and cultural values as the military is, was, and continues to be the Saiyan's "everything". By absorbing the army, the Cold Army/Freeza Force effectively paralyzed the Saiyans, making them MORE than beholden to the empire in that by controlling their strongest apparatus of control, the average Saiyan can do nothing without the FF. Another interesting note (that is a small tangent)-- it's fascinating how the CA/FF manages surveillance given the vastness of space and the hostile/temperamental nature of the Saiyans and their warlike inclination: the Scouters. The establishment that the Scouters LISTEN is so so so smart for a despot empire to put into place! It's very 1984 and establishes some control on the... drum roll please...next section!

Everything in this point is a little more out of my amateur "expertise" as it deals more with sociological domestic policy than military/IR so, it'll probably make less sense.

VI. Rigid, hierarchical social cohesion philosophy

Saiyan social structure is given to us very clearly, by multiple sources, and it seems to be handled with quite the lot of animosity. Social cohesion is "the strength of relationships and the sense of solidarity among members of a community" and is often identifiable by a community's social capital. Social capital is the basic trust, foundation, and interactions within a society permitting it to function. Social cohesion is upheld by the following facets: a sense of belonging, social relations, and an orientation towards the common good. The question now becomes -- Grace, if you're trying to say Saiyans have social cohesion, how can that coexist with animosity and competitive merit? Great question. I would like to posit that Saiyan social cohesion relies on this push-pull of merit, competition, and the pride of a conditional brotherhood rather than the cut and dry, earthly expectations of social cohesion. Let's walk through these real quick! (I must avoid making this another 2k words long). Sense of belonging: Saiyan's are described by Paragus in Broly 2018 as generally untrustworthy. They are backstabbing, power-hungry, violent cages of people. Yet, Saiyan pride (and the merit of it, see the follow through?) is what ties them all together. The sense of belonging perhaps doesn't come from actual, well-cultivated cohesion but rather their species identity in BEING a Saiyan, not BEING IN COMMUNITY. I have a lot of thoughts about how Saiyans are more tribal beings than they'd admit but that's another essay that cannot be tacked onto this one. We much stay focused, brothers. Social relations: Relationships and familial ties do exist in Saiyan society, though they don't seem to manifest in an exact one-to-one way as per Earth standards. I, as per earlier, argued there is power in the blood line and I think that rings true throughout the general society. Looking at how Goku is more often referred to as "Bardock's son" over anything else or how Vegeta is a seemingly patrilineal name, I'm going to make the leap that paternal line determines a lot of social relationships. They are maintained by fatherhood, power levels (a low enough PL can result in the bloodline 'dying', cause of death: disgrace), and a militaristic aspect of brotherhood over blood in most occasions. Orientation towards the common good: Don't let "common good" distract you- a common good can be anything the society agrees is good. So, what do Saiyans conclude as good? Conquest, war/conflict, victory, kill counts, strength, power of the people, power of the Saiyan, power in general. This is once again where merit-competition and cohesion interact- yes, one would want to ascend ranks, to claim victories, to pursue power, but can one do that alone all the time? Possibly. Vegeta sure does think so, but he seems to only act on this value when Nappa becomes useless to him. Use is a common good, purpose is a common good. Your fellow brother, your fellow warrior, etc. has purpose when the two of you can bring forth Saiyan glory. It's a temporary arrangement but one nonetheless.

All of these things though are maintained by societal structure. It is the rigid social hierarchy that encourages social cohesion and the subversive method of turning animosity into brotherhood and vice versa given the need at the time. The distance of the monarch, a seemingly untouchable governor, seems to imply also that these societal structures are upheld by the populous but made 'perfected' by the monarchy. A monarchy that wants to maintain power will cause controlled discord within its own state so that any transmission of power seems either 1. Improbable/dangerous (highly likely due to FF occupation) 2. Not needed because the leader provides some type of stability. I could argue that the social cohesion of Saiyans relies on a strange form of Diversionary War Theory. Diversionary Way Theory states that "unpopular leaders generate foreign policy crises to both divert the public's attention away from the discontent with their rule and bolster their political fortunes through a rally around the flag effect." I believe this is more of a...Diversionary Social Theory. With the society so folded in on itself for merit and competition, the king can maintain power for his line alone by altering it, looking at different social conflicts (low PLs, Frieza Force encroachment, etc.) rather than surrender powers. Sounds corrupt. I know. That leads me to my final facet of Saiyan political structure.

A little more back into my expertise, briefly.

VII. Corruption

I am sure you all knew I'd get to this to some extent. To say the Saiyans are void of corruption would be a fool's statement. I think there are two main forms of corruption seen in Saiyan society.

Despot maintenance of power

Society-induced and maintained methods of population/defection culling

Despot maintenance of power

A despot is an often tyrannical leader with a monopoly on power. Despotism is the "form of government in which a single entity rules with absolute power. Normally, that entity is an individual, the despot, but societies which limit respect and power to specific groups have also been called despotic." In writing this, I've realized that the Saiyans are equally despotic but geez I am too far into this to add ANOTHER section so a definition is all you will have to settle for. King Vegeta is a an active despot. I don't think this is a dramatic statement. He is shown to remove opposition, going to the lengths of infanticide and murder to do so. He antagonizes his specialists who dare question the legitimacy/efficacy of his lineage. He makes deadly errors in foreign policy by stationing snipers at Frieza at the risk (and expense) of their lives. He targets his own son and banishes him as an exile, completely intended to kill him in the long run. King Vegeta is losing 0-2 in trying to not kill babies/kids. I don't have much else on this subsection due to its pretty straightforward nature and political gain. In both Broly movies albeit for...weirdly different reasons...the King argues that the murder of Broly (and subsequently Paragus) is justified because it 1) ensures the social and political status quo, 2) muddles the waters on proving or accusing Vegeta's house in intending to not relinquish power even on correct merit values, and 3) shows how he, in general, is unwilling to admit defeat and hold onto power.

2. Society-induced and maintained methods of population/defection culling

This is touched on briefly in the aforementioned social cohesion section. Culling is the method of killing the population of a wild animal to preserve its maintainability. Saiyans practice this with different principles at its core; I believe it is simply an unsaid, dark reality for the majority of the media due to its reach and aimed audience. However, where we do see glimpses of infanticide with the goal to protect the purity of strength in Saiyan numbers. Goku's PL is a concern. Him being a runt or being behind on schedule seems to be an issue, even if minimally stated. Broly's PL is a threat. Tarble is a royal liability. All of these seem to be justifiable reasons to straight up KILL them (or at least exile them from the population with an understood mortality rate). Now, Raditz seems to be an exception but I'll argue that he serves as a necessary low-PL canon fodder for more powerful members society. That is a more social cohesion point that I could've included but my lanta guys this thing is long enough. The society itself seems to maintain this principle - whether you HC there being a governmental agency observing infants power levels as the OG Broly movie would imply (which is interesting in and of itself looking at it through a bureaucratic apparatus lens). Monarchy perfects, society maintains in striving for that perfection due to merit competition, value of the patrilineal line, and a cohesive idea of Saiyan pride on a general societal level.

VIII. Conclusion

The Saiyans are a monarchical + despotic meritocracy with values of militarism and rigid, hierarchical social cohesion philosophy.

I hope now that we've reached the end, this contributes something of at least SOME merit to the discussions and long text-posts I've been seeing floating around DB tumblr recently. I think smashing my degree and Dragon Ball together might've killed all my braincells but at least I can exhibit to my professor that I understand a majority of what I've been putting thousands of dollars to to learn.

I am not responsible for any typos or misspelling; y'all figure it out.

Takes the heaviest breath ever. I'm going to stop here-- it is finals season and I have a test over US foreign policy tomorrow. Yap session: OVER.

PLEASE INTERACT WITH THIS DB OVERTHINKERS PLEASE.