#I am terribly abnormal about this man

[roadkill-punk]

I don't usually share WIPs but fuck he's so pretty I am actively passing away

[phoenixkaptain]

The comics always have Tim comment on how normal his childhood was, and I just don’t believe them.

Like, the name “Drake” was set up in comics for years beforehand. Tim Drake is a rich kid. His parents did own an entire industry and Tim’s introductory comic tells us flat out that he spends most of the time his parents aren’t home at boarding and private schools. His parents were gone a lot!

Tim Drake is stated to be so normal. This kid can still clearly remember watching Dick’s parents die, he was traumatized and had nightmares about the scene. Especially if you believe Tim’s never taken a picture of Batman before the events of his introduction, Tim is extra strange because why was his first instinct to take pictures of Batman getting beaten up?! Is that normal child behaviour?? Am I the weird one for not knowing where Dick Grayson’s girlfriend lived when I was thirteen?? How on earth is Tim Drake the normal one?

He’s a stilted talker, absolutely terrible at speaking about important things. He is the Robin who called the most alike to Batman more than once, Ra’s al Ghul calls him a detective on Batman’s level, are you REALLY normal if you’re similar to Batman??

Like yeah, sure. Tim didn’t grow up in a circus. Tim didn’t grow up raised on the streets. Tim wasn’t trained from birth to be an assassin.

I would argue that this makes him MORE abnormal! He doesn’t have Dick’s background or flexibility! He doesn’t have either of Jason’s backgrounds nor his grudge. He doesn’t have Batman to live up to for a father. And yet, he still decides to put his life on the line to fight crime! His parents weren’t even dead!! He just decided that “If Batman and Nightwing aren’t going to take care of themselves, I have no choice but to do it for them.” Sure, he tries to get Dick to help Bruce, but he realizes pretty quickly that that isn’t going to work out.

Tim Drake tried to fight Superboy. You know, Superman’s clone? Invulnerable? Boy of steel? Literally only had one weakness that Tim didn’t have on him at the time??

Tim Drake is absolutely not the normal Robin. The comics really, really want me to believe that the kid who grew up in boarding school while his parents were off on business, the kid who took to being a Robin akin to Batman (ie. invisible, unnoticeable, unknown, a myth), the kid who got beat up by Jason Todd and then went “whoa, Jason Todd is back :),” the kid who Ra’s al Ghul is obsessed with, the kid who built his own vehicle; this kid is normal.

Yeah, okay. He’s perfectly normal. His dad being hinted at as being neglectful and literally abusive with how he breaks his kid’s things? Normal. Tim Drake knowing how to photograph the most paranoid man this side of the Rockies? Normal. Tim Drake deciding that it would actually be neat-o to don a suit that another kid died in to fight against people and beings that could and would absolutely kill him in a heartbeat? Completely. Normal.

Okay, DC. Whatever you say…

[eatmeandbirthmeagain]

С Hello, hello, dear author, I am so addicted to your works that I can fully say that you are simply the best writer I have ever seen, I simply melt from your works related to Baldwin,Seriously!I would like to read something sad, so I would like to ask you to write something sad, where Baldwin and Y/N They are married, everything is fine with them, but one day Y/n became terribly ill with some kind of disease,it soon becomes clear that this is a dangerous disease and unfortunately Y/n dies, and Baldwin is saddened and broken.

)(English is not my native language, so I apologize for the mistakes and thank you in advance author!)!!

♧ Everything Is Worse Now - King Baldwin x Reader ♧

♧ Angst ♧

A/N: Hello dear Sevina!! I am so greatful for your support and your such kind words, you have no idea how much they mean to me���. Thank you so much for this beautiful and sad request, it was a pleasure to write and I hope you enjoy it!! As always, this is based on the film Kingdom Of Heaven, not the real historical figures. Enjoy!

P.S. Im sorry this is so short, I wanted it to be more like a uhh poem kind of I guess?? Like short and sweet yk?? Idk if I'm making any sence but I hope you all enjoy!! Also SORRY FOR ALL THE ANGST. Next one will be fluffy I prommise 😭😭

TW: Death, Disease, Leprosy, Not a happy ending

It was an abnormally cold evening when it began.

The queen's condition had been faltering for a few days now, but she merely brushed it off as fatigue. Things had been stressful with the threat of invasion any day now, it was only natural to feel exhausted at times such as these.

Nevertheless, the young king was deeply concerned about his wife.

“Please my love, I need you to see one of my physicians. It could be serious-”

“Darling, I can assure you that I am perfectly fine. Truely, there is no need to fret, you have enough to be worried about. Please don't let my condition weigh on your mind” she had told him, taking his hands in hers with that gentle firmness that he so adored.

It only became worse from there. Baldwin had been attending a meeting when he received news that y/n had collapsed while walking the gardens.

He abandoned the meeting in a second and used every ounce of his strength to climb the stairs to the royal chambers where he was met with the horrific sight of his beautiful wife, pale and weak, laying atop their shared bed with physicians working at her side.

He staggered to her side, about to collapse himself, and took her hand pressing it to the cool metal of his mask.

The familiar sensation caused y/n to open her eyes to look at her husband.

She smiled weakly.

“Perhaps I should have been checked out sooner hm?” she chuckled.

Baldwin couldn't help but smile sadly. Even in the darkest times she always managed to make him smile.

Naturally, the young king assumed the worst possible scenario: That his vile disease had been passed to his beautiful wife.

He could barely think of the possibility without breaking down right there and then so he attempted to keep his mind away from the idea.

“My lord?” a physician spoke gently beside him.

Baldwin looked up at the young man expectantly, “may I speak with you a moment?” the physician asked.

The king nodded, giving y/n one last look before walking towards the door.

“Do you know what could be wrong?” he asked, his voice trembling with fear.

“We have a fair idea, my lord. Her symptoms match that of the flu. It is a European disease, this is all we know so far”.

Baldwin's heart sank and felt relieved at the same time.

On one hand, his worst fear had not come true and his perfect wife had not been tainted by his vile flesh. But on the other hand, she was still very ill with a disease he had only read about in books.

He felt light headed but was determined to stay on his feet. He had to be strong for her. 

---------------------------------------------------

Her condition worsened further from that day onwards, as did the rumours in the castle.

Guy was of the firm belief that Baldwin had contaminated the queen with his vile disease and all of his followers and friends were of the same view.

Baldwin himself avoided everyone and everything that wasn't y/n.

Despite the warnings from the physicians that she may pass her disease onto him, thus killing him faster, he didn't care.

“I'm dying anyway, what's the point in avoiding it if she’s not going to be by my side in a few weeks” he told them.

They spent every moment together, taking in their last few days by each other's sides. Y/n could barely move and her fever made her weak but Baldwin could not care any less.

He read to her, prayed over her and spoke of his days to her, even if she didn't have the strength to reply.

This was exactly what she had promised to do for him in his last days, it didn't seem right to be the other way around. They even continued to sleep side by side. Just as if nothing happened at all.

When y/n would wake in the night, brought to consciousness by the low grade fever, she would admire her sleeping husband.

“I’m so sorry” she would whisper.

“I'm so sorry that I have to leave you. It wasn't supposed to be like this”.

---------------------------------------------------

It wasn't until another abnormally cold morning that Baldwin opened his eyes to find her stiff with the icy touch of death.

He sat up and wept at the sight until physicians came to take him to another room. Baldwin was simply inconsolable and he stayed that way for days.

He became a shell of a man. Refusing to leave his chambers or even eat.

“You must snap out of this and tend to your kingdom” Sybilla had told him.

“The land will be in ruins if you continue like this-”

“I care not for the land any longer!” he snapped.

“Let your foul husband have it to himself for all I care” he said with a wave of his hand as he began to cry again.

Sybilla put a hand on her brother's back, “just because she is gone doesn't mean you must go with her” she said gently.

“I see no use in living if she can't be by my side. I'm dying anyway Sybilla, the future of the kingdom matters not to me. Let Tiberias take care of my duties while I am here. Just go and pretend as though I am dead already” he looked at her through the holes in the mask, those blue eyes that used to be so filled with happiness when he was a child were now empty and red with tears.

“I can't leave you like this Baldwin” she whispered, pulling him into a hug.

He closed his eyes and for a moment imagined that it was y/n hugging him instead.

“She would have wanted you to be strong and go on. To lead the kingdom as you did when she lived” Sybilla said, not knowing if her words were even getting through to him or not.

Baldwin sighed.

“I'll do my best, dear sister”

[carmillascrusade]

Of Eden III | Larissa Weems x F!reader

Summary: Larissa’s recollection of your life together.

Word count: 3,600

A/N: apologies for the wait, I’ve been making a blanket for my grandma. @barbarasstar

Part two

Larissa dreamed of you that night or, more importantly, she dreamed of the life that you had shared before… 

Larissa watched you speak amiably with the blacksmith, that ever present pleasant smile plastered on your face as you browsed the finger plates. The blacksmith flirted shamelessly but you seemed to pay no attention. You were the talk of the village; a pretty young bachelorette that bought the small cottage lying on the outskirts of Nevermore. 

Larissa had yet to speak to you, your terribly beauty unnerving. She had nothing to offer you- no manor, no respectable name- so she kept her distance, admiring you from afar to save her heart from the cruel rejection that would sprout from your lips if she were to ask for your hand. She could only watch in disdain as the blacksmith continued fawning over you. 

What she wasn’t prepared for, however, was for your gaze to fall on her. Your eyes went wide upon seeing her. You waved the blacksmith off, instead choosing to walk over to where Larissa was seated. She froze in her spot, unsure of what to do. 

“Hello.” 

It was a simple greeting but it caused her cheeks to heat up nonetheless. 

“Hello..” 

You tilted your head slightly at the strange woman sat before you, secretly pleased that she was treating you as you would any other human being. To put it frankly, you were sick of everybody flirting with you. 

“I’m afraid I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you yet… what’s your name?” 

“Larissa.” She replied stoically. You are not going to charm her like you have the rest of the village. 

“La-ris-sa,” you repeated her name, sounding it out as you did so. “A beautiful name.”

“Thank you.”

Your mouth opened, a small sound escaping it as you went to speak again, before it shut abruptly at somebody jogging over to you. Your eyes narrowed ever so slightly, irritated at the interruption. The blacksmith from before warily glanced at Larissa while approaching. 

“Are ya alright?” He asked, slightly breathless from his jog. 

You didn’t bother gracing him a smile as you replied. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well,” he gestured towards Larissa. “You’re speaking to ‘er…” 

“Why is that an issue?” You gritted out. 

“She’s a freak! You know what they say ‘bout ‘er; they say she steals bairns from their cribs, sacrifices ‘em to the devil she worships.” 

You blinked at him, before looking back at her. “Why? Because her hair is light?” 

“Yeah, that and she’s abnormally tall… taller than any man in the village.” 

Larissa had shrunken into herself, radiating an aura that belied her stature. You hummed while you raked your eyes over her, disappointed when she wouldn’t meet your gaze. 

“Larissa?” 

Her eyes snapped up to your face, turning beat red as you focused solely upon her. 

“Yes?…”

“Say, with that height of yours you must be strong, yes?” You questioned lightly. 

Her brows furrowed, confusion colouring her face as she tried to figure out where you were going with this. “Relatively speaking, I’m rather strong.” 

“I see.” 

You turned back to the blacksmith. 

“Well, I think that settles it.” You stated, eyes flicking to your nails in disinterest. 

“Settles.. what?” The man asked nervously. 

“If I were you, I wouldn’t be spreading rumours about such a lovely woman… especially when she could easily beat you in a fight. Oh! I know. How about you go back to rest of your cruel friends and gossip about me instead.” You sidled up to Larissa, laying your head on her arm for effect before you continued to speak. “After all, how devious am I to have affairs with such a woman!” 

“A-affairs?!” He squeaked. 

“Why, yes! Larissa here has been a very lovely companion in my home… haven’t you, my love?” 

“Y-yes.” She stuttered. 

The man’s eyes flicked frantically between the two of you, searching for any sort of deceit,  before settling on you once more. “Well,” he scratched his head lightly. “If m’lady chooses to spend time with the light haired woman, then I s’pose she can’t be that bad…” 

You watched in glee as he stalked back to the heart of the village. Humming in satisfaction at halting any nasty rumours in the track, you stood up and dusted your skirt off. You smiled at Larissa in parting before beginning to walk away. 

“Wait!” She pleaded. You looked at her with a concerned expression, waiting patiently for her to finds the words she wanted to say. “Thank you… you didn’t have to do that.” 

“Of course I did. That’s what friends do.” You stated it as if it was obvious before sauntering away to whence you came, leaving Larissa gobsmacked on the bench, helpless to watch as you disappeared from view. 

“Friends…”

It had only taken three months into her friendship with you for all the horrendous rumours about Larissa to cease. Apparently, the village’s respect for you was so strong that, in turn, they began to respect her as well. She no longer had to live in fear of the villagers. She was no longer an outcast… all thanks to you. 

“Larissa!” You shouted from where you stood across the market square, waving her over as you did so. 

She grinned at you and found herself by your side within a second following her brisk walk over to you. Your arm linked with hers as soon as she got close enough, allowing you to tug her along to the market stalls you wished to see. 

“How would you feel about coming over after this?” You asked with a shrug of your shoulders, acting unbothered at whatever her answer may be. “I’ll make your favourite stew.” (Okay, maybe you were trying to bribe her.) 

Larissa looked down at you, her eyes leaving the potatoes she was scrutinising in favour for falling onto your face. Despite you proving your wish to simply be her friend time and time again, she still found herself sceptical of your intentions. Yet you hadn’t done anything to gain her distrust- she just couldn’t believe somebody would want to befriend and spend their time with her. 

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” 

You grinned up at her and took the potatoes out of her hand. “Of course not. I like having you near…” 

Larissa gasped at your words which caused your cheeks to don a vibrant shade of red. “I-“ you stuttered out, praying that the ground would open and swallow you up as it did so. Having feelings for another woman was wrong- a sin. If word got out that you were a sinner, you would be outcasted or, even worse, burned at the stake for your crimes. 

“Are you insinuating what I think you are?” Larissa’s face was stony, unreadable even to you. 

“W-would that be so bad?” Your voice lacked its usual confidence as you replied. 

She turned on her heel, swiftly marching off into the direction of her house without saying a word in reply. Your heart plummeted in your chest, breath hitching as the world seemed to slow to a halt. What have you done? 

You ran after her, breaths coming out shorts on ragged. The tears brimming in your eyes made it difficult to see but you persisted nevertheless. If she were to tell anybody, not that you thought she would, your life was over. Your dress wasn’t fairing well with the sticks and mud that lined the floor; the bottom of your skirts becoming heavy and difficult to manoeuvre the father you travelled. 

By some miracle you reached her. Although you weren’t expecting her to swivel so that she could face you, eyes blazed with fury, mouth twisted into a nasty sneer. You stumbled into her, slightly because of her demeanour, but mainly because she knocked you whilst turning. 

“Larissa, please!” You were begging at this point. 

“Do you think this is funny?” She barked. 

She didn’t even let you speak before continuing her angry rant. “Do you enjoy playing with people’s feelings? Is that why you’ve rejected every single bachelor in this god forsaken village? Is it?!”

You stared at her, mouth agape; the knife she stabbed into your heart with her departure twisting and turning painfully, leaving your already aching heart into a bigger mess than what it was a moment before. She was unpleased with your lack of answer.   

“Well?! Answer me!” She shouted, hands reaching out to shake your shoulders- harshly but not enough to hurt. 

“I- what are you talking about?!” 

“You! You could play with anybody else in this village, break any heart that you wanted with so much as a whisper of the word ‘no’. So, why? Why have you chosen to make me the centre of your whoreish games?”

“You think that I’m a whore?” You whispered defeated. 

“What am I supposed to think? Huh? When all you do is flaunt yourself around the village for all to see!” Her anger was palpable, but you just couldn’t understand why. 

It was becoming even more difficult to breathe and before you could think too much about your actions, you ran. 

Larissa hadn’t seen much of you recently. Well, the whole village hasn’t. You had hidden yourself away after the incident, feeling physically incapable of leaving the sanctuary of your small cottage. 

It had been less than a week and the village was already suffering from your loss. Your presence was like that of the sun; warm and enveloping but dangerous all the same. Your path destructive, burning anybody who dared get too close. 

But you hadn’t been the one to burn Larissa. No, she had torn your heart from where it beat within your chest.  It was ridiculous really. A woman you had known for less than  two months and she had turned your whole life around in the matter of minutes. 

If only she had communicated with you. This could have all be avoided. 

She caught you as you were in the middle of harvesting vegetables from your garden. Your face was shielded by the hood of your cloak, granting your eyes relief from the blaring sun. The soil moved with the coaxing of your hands, soft huffs of effort were exhaled when you reached a vegetable determined to stay in the ground. 

Larissa was content to watch you. No matter how many times she may deny it, she craved your presence terribly. These past few weeks without you has been torture. And she never wanted to experience that again. 

Never. 

Somebody clearing their throat startled you out of your task. The oddly shaped carrot you were holding dropped back into its bed with a soft thud due to your surprised state. Your head turned at the speed of light, startled by the current person intruding on your property. What you weren’t expecting, however, was to see the woman that plagued your dreams (and nightmares) to be stood at your gate. 

She stood with a shyness that belied someone of her stature. Her hand shot up, awkward and jerky in its movement to wave at you. Your own hand seemed to have a mind of its own as it returned the wave, your fingers curling into your palm rather than shaking your hand from left to right. 

She cleared her throat again before offering a meek ‘hi’. 

“Lar- what are you doing here?” You didn’t want to beat around the bush or evade a conversation that needed to be had. 

“I wanted to see you…” her admission was quiet, the wind drowning most of it out, but you heard her as clear as day. 

A short, mocking laugh could be heard from your place on the ground. A scoff following soon after. “You wanted to see me? And why would you wish to see a whore?” 

You thought that you were over the last conversation you had with Larissa but you could feel your cheeks flushing with anger as soon as you were reminded of that day. How dare she say those awful things about you and then come here as if nothing happened? How dare she think so lowly of you but still beg to catch glimpses of you?

“I- please, you know I didn’t mean that!” She defended herself, tone accusatory as if you were the one in the wrong. 

You picked your vegetables up before standing. The dirt was brushed off your knees as best you could with dirt-caked hands, ultimately making your skirts even more muddier than they were before you had stood. “And prey tell, what did you mean?” 

Larissa recoiled at your biting tone. Her lips pursed into a thin line once she realised that you wouldn’t just let her back into your life. “Please,” she sighed out. “Just- let me inside? We can talk there.” She was close to begging at this point, but if begging was what got you to humour her she would gladly do it one hundred times over. 

“Fine.” You snapped. 

Larissa trailed after you, like a puppy following after its owner. You held open the front door for her, stepping to the side so she could enter. She ducked through the doorway before returning to her full height in your living room. 

“I’ll be with you in a moment. I need to put my vegetables in the kitchen.”

She fidgeted nervously as she glanced around your living room,  committing as much of it as she could incase you decided that you never wanted to speak to her again after this. The fire roared where it stood, crackling loudly in the otherwise silence of the room. Flames licked at the fireplace, dancing mesmerisingly, drawing Larissa in the more she watched. Your walls were lined with the tapestries you had spent hours of your life creating; the latest one, Larissa noticed, captured a mass of blonde hair facing a market stall. 

No. It couldn’t be.. could it? 

The living room itself was scarcely furnished. Enough to live comfortably, but not enough to consider you wealthy by any means. She hadn’t heard you approach, too busy taking in her surroundings to pay attention to much else. 

“So, what is it that you want?” You asked bluntly. 

“I- I already told you. I wanted to see you.”

“Right.” You pursed your lips and nodded your head in false agreement. “Well, you’ve seen me now. So if that’s all…”

“I’m sorry.” 

Your head shot up to look at her, surprised at the sudden apology. 

“I’m so, so very sorry for what I said. I let my insecurities control me and I was awful to you. It isn’t an excuse, I know. But please believe me when I say that I never meant a word.” 

You were stunned speechless. Your eyes blinked rapidly, mouth opening and closing like a fish as you fought for anything to escape your mouth. “W-what? Insecurities?” 

She nodded her head in a sullen manner. “You- you know what the villagers think of me. I… I thought that it was another one of their cruel jokes. Why would a beautiful woman be attracted to me of all people? But you wouldn’t do that to me.”

“No. I wouldn’t.” You stated. “You asked me, that day, why I rejected every man’s advances. Have you figured it out yet?”

She laughed at that. A short, self-loathing laugh for she had mulled this over ever since that day. “Yes..”

You smiled at that. “How is it that a woman so intelligent can be so stupid at the same time?” You questioned. 

She went to open her mouth, eyebrows pulled down in slight indignation. “Ah! Let me finish. Larissa, the only person I could ever want in this village is you.”

“And the only person I could ever want is you.” She breathed. 

She looked at you with a childlike wonder. You were everything she could have dreamed of and more. The two of you had been dancing around one another since the very start, unfortunately Larissa was just too blind to see it. 

Until now. 

“Larissa! Where are we going?!” You questioned, voice trembling with fear as she dragged you along the beaten down path leading into the forest. 

She had entered your shared cottage in a frenzy, eyes wild and hair frazzled before she settled her gaze upon you. You hadn’t the time to think as, in an instant, she was dragging you from the comfort of your bed and outside with no further explanation.

Rough stones and stray twigs dug into the soles of your bare feet. Goosebumps rose on your flesh as the frigid air nipped your skin. Larissa came to a halt in a clearing, an otherworldly glow emitting from the alter in the centre. 

“Larissa?” Your voice trembled, whether that was due to the cold or your rising fear, you didn’t know. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” She whispered, eyes transfixed in the knife floating above the alter. It seemed to drink in the moonlight, pulsating with a subtle, almost imperceptible energy.  

“Larissa… maybe we should go.” You tried again, tugging on her arm in a vain attempt to get her to leave. She payed you no mind. Instead, she dropped your arm and walked towards the alter. You were helpless. Rendered useless as you could only watch her grasp the blade. 

The moment her fingers clasped around the hilt, a surge of power coursed through her. She gasped into the night air, her eyes widening in shock as a searing heat spread up her body from her palm, mapping a direct path to her heart. She tried to pull away, take back control, but her hand was fused to the blade by an unforeseen force. 

Her head was thrown back in a mixture of pain and ecstasy; her face that once held shock, now being home to a crazed grin. Image after image flashed through her mind in rapid succession- visions of ancient battles, soldiers clashing beneath stormy skies. The face of a god imprinted itself in her mind, omnipotent in its omniscience. The power of the blade passed through her, setting her nerves alight with energy as it filled every fibre of her being.  

Her body was glowing a pale orange, her hair changing from its beautiful blonde to an icy white. And then, as fast as it happened, she dropped to the floor- unconscious. 

Larissa had been acting… differently ever since she took you to the woods. She had gathered a mass following; believers of the god ‘Andraste’ with Larissa as their preacher. You had been afraid at first. Afraid of what she was preaching, what she had become. But in the silence of your shared nights, you could see a flicker of the woman she had once been… and it was enough for you to stay. 

It hadn’t taken her very long to gather a large following, and then somehow she had obtained a castle and maids. You were treated like a queen, fawned over by Larissa and her servants. 

But it wasn’t the same. 

You missed the quiet nights you would spend with your blonde lover in the comfort of your cottage. When the only thing that mattered to you was each other. Now, Larissa was preoccupied with running her religion, or whatever it was. You were just an afterthought most days than not. 

You sat in the chapel, deft fingers lighting a candle in prayer. You weren’t praying to anybody in particular, you had never really been the religious type, but you were hoping that somebody out there was listening. 

Larissa was supposed to meet you once the sun settled in the horizon, but she was yet to be seen. You sighed softly, the flickering of the candles in front of you the only light source in the room. She was supposed to speak with you, listen to your worries about her and what she was becoming. She had promised that she would be here. 

A rustle sounded out from somewhere in the dark depths surrounding you. You swivelled on your heel and into a standing position as fast as you could, heart skipping a beat. Your eyes searched the dark as best you could from where you stood in the dimly lit room. Albeit ultimately finding nothing. 

“Larissa?” You questioned into the darkness, eyes straining to see something. Anything. 

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. 

Your heart sounded out, irregular in rhythm. Your hands flicked nervously, fingers twitching in anticipation. “Larissa? Is that you?” 

The silence stretched out. It felt like you had been looking for the source of the sound for hours before you finally settled down onto the floor once more. Another rustle. One too close for comfort. 

However, you weren’t fast enough for as soon as you turned your head a dull pain resounded in your temple before you ultimately succumbed to an inky darkness. 

Larissa was late. She knew that she had no excuse. You had asked for just a moment of her time and instead of being there waiting for you, she was selfishly seeking more power. She had only been drawn from her slumped form over the ancient scrolls sprawled across her desk due to Maura, your favourite maid and companion, reminding her about your meeting. 

She had rushed down the winding corridors and across the courtyard as fast as she could. Although it seemed that she was not fast enough. Her heart sunk once she reached the chapel, a soft call of your name went unanswered. The only clue that you had been there at all was the freshly lit candle in the centre of the alter. No… 

Larissa was so certain in your relationship. She foolishly believed that your blind devotion to her would be enough for you to stay. Despite her pushing you away, despite her neglecting you for months; she thought that you would be by her side forever. But she was wrong. The soulless chapel a sickening reminder that you were no longer by her side. 

You left. 

[sadstrever]

i’m still 114lbs. i feel sick. yesterday was an awful day, i came home and had an out of body chew and spit session. i wish there was more research on this part of ed’s, or just more people who talked about it because i can’t be alone in this. i refuse to believe i’m the only sick person who does disgusting shit like this. anyways the reason why i call it an out of body experience is because it’s almost like binging-just without all the swallowing of food. i came home and immediately started doing it and filled up 1 and 1/2 2 liter bottles with food. i spent 5 hours doing this without even realizing and pretty much emptied out my whole families fridge. the guilt i felt afterwards was worse than a binge in my opinion. not only did i totally waste SO MUCH food, make a huge mess, ended up with disgusting bottles of mush in my room, i also have to face the consequences of my family coming home to an empty fridge. but when they got home they were happy that i “ate.” god i’m such a fucking piece of shit.

anyways after all that i took 4 laxatives to try and get the guilt of wasting the food out of me. i woke up in the morning today in terrible pain but still had to go to class, cuz what am i supposed to tell my parents? “yeah i haven’t eaten in almost a month and basically just threw all the food we have out in the trash and i also took 4 laxatives, can i please stay home tehe?” so i went to 1 class and ended up leaving because the pain was so excruciating. straight from class i went to the gym and somehow burnt 900 calories because i guess that’s what guilt does to me. i had to take the bus 2 hours home afterwards(bus delays and i went to a new further gym location this time), high out of my mind. i’m home now and my stomach hurts but the laxatives finally did their job. i don’t want to keep doing this. 4 years ago i said i’d recover and then i didn’t. since then i’ve forgotten about recovery (with the exception of a few random moments here and there that i block out immediately), i am so used to living in this fucking misery that i didn’t realize how abnormal my reality is. i don’t want to be a bad person anymore. but i can’t stop lol.

this is what bothers me about the girls who romanticize this disorder SO MUCH, when much of the time they haven’t realized how difficult it can become. i know i’ve done this, even now sometimes as a coping mechanism. but man, i’m sick of it.

i have a friend who writes poetry and she wrote a poem about eating disorders that make me so fucking angry. the thing is, i’ve known her for years and she’s always had the best relationship with food out of most of the people i know. she’s naturally pretty thin(not too thin but normal) and she’s very open about her struggles. i know every single one of her stories, i know she’s diagnosed with adhd. that’s HER disorder, that i don’t understand so i DONT write fucking POETRY about it. a few months ago she kind of forced me into opening up about my eating disorder. after i did, suddenly she started writing these stories about her eating disorder-very very very suspiciously similar to mine. i obviously didn’t tell her everything but i told her about how long this has been going on and just my emotions about it. seeing her start to adapt my fucking disorder into her poetry disgusted me. she glamorized the fuck out of it and made me feel so stupid for ever opening up about it. she’s naturally skinny so she got a bunch of support from our friend group from it and i’m just upset man. i’m sick of living in misery while other people can use the idea of living in pain for attention.

i promised my best friend that in 3 weeks i’ll go back to therapy and try my best to recover. it’s not true. man it’s never fucking true. it’s never fucking over. unlike ms.deep-poetry-girl i can’t just fucking write this and log off and then eat a good warm meal and talk to my parents without them mentioning my body. i can’t wake up tomorrow morning and hug them without worrying that they’re gonna feel my bones. i can’t wear shorts anymore without people noticing the bruises. i can’t go to school and keep my focus because i have nothing to feed my brain. i can’t let anyone get close because soon enough they’ll be just like YOU. OR they’ll hate me for not wanting to get better. i can’t love myself like you do because of the disgusting things i do each day. i can’t wake up thinner and suddenly stop hating myself. FUCK YOUUUUUUUU GOD IM SO SICK OF IT GOD. whatever im done. just sick and tired.

[lovetogether]

We’re gonna write a Dale “fan” “fic” . Be nice

The door inside the wall inside the door inside the wall inside the door inside the wall inside the door inside the. Hang on just a minute, I’m starting to think there’s more to this. An endless array of disappearances only for reappearance completely anew? It’s abnormal. I walk away from time with the stature of a man on his way to kill himself, I had the enthusiasm of a child. One of those, the kids you see in the park, yeah. About to set off on some imaginary adventure built upon false ideas of a world larger than oneself. I think I was scared, but I didn’t feel scared. I had to leave. The reality which I was faced in was not one I knew to be true but moreso aside my actual reality, I felt I needed to shift almost, to get back to what was my true life. I think I’ve always been hungry. There’s something terrible happening and I’ve known it’s been happening and I knew it would happen and I am doing nothing. I have to do something. I think existing as I am now is a disgrace to living itself but I’m happy to be alive. Things follow me and I know they’re following me and I knew they’d follow me and I’m doing everything. I think it’s two, four, five years since I last was, yet here I am. I’m on a course for direct collision, with what I don’t know, but I’ve always known since I was born. Something calls to me and I don’t know what it says but I know it tells me to keep going. I think I am perpetually on the brink of a life changing revelation. I’m very important. The world revolves around me. It always has, everything has always been this way. I don’t exist outside of others sight or acknowledgement. Touched or having been touched - I think of myself as violated yet comparable to packaging which is to say I am to be violated if you want what’s inside. I see in the corner of my eye an evil which is at the core of every organic thing and I must in my power work as hard as possible to snuff out this evil but I fear this evil is from within me. The world revolves around me, so everything started with me. I knew the minute things changed because I felt it and everybody can’t shake the feeling, “how do we go back?”. Like a portal of I were to walk into a door I’d see a hallways and at the end would be a man exiting the door on the opposite side. That man is me, as to look into the hallway I must exit the last room. I see myself in front of me like some twisted up idea of dissociation. I can call this me a clone but it is - for all intents and purposes - me. It’s always been me, it’s always been us. The idea of me is a collective of others, versions of me, or rather not me, existing in relation to me to make me. I am only one, but there’s more. He’s been missing for a long time - me - an idea of me - the lack-thereof, you name it, your words not mine. But I think they’re mine. I’m selfish but isnt selfishness just an anagram for selflessness? There’s no H nor I, me, myself, I don’t know. I often feel detached from the people around me because I cannot exist in context to others without some kind of plot. There is no casualness to my presence. Put the pieces together and you get me and me is just an idea which exists to fail. I only exist in context to her.

[mossy-green-aka-ferrythem]

I haven't really read much on Limbus due to not playing it, but man, Outis deeply concerns me. Like everything about that woman feels... off. She's got that war-criminal energy with her. Like someone who's done terrible things, and even now, has deception on the mind. Really interesting to see how this thematically plays into her Abnormality EGOs and IDs... I think the one that sticks out to me the most is the Magic Bullet EGO suit (mostly because it's some of the coolest shit ever), with what the Der Freishütz represents, and how, from the snippet's I've seen, echo the same sentiments as the Abnormality. Can't say too much because I'm not informed on Outis, but I am informed on LobCorp and (Most Of) Ruina. Idk something just feels off about Outis, the fact that she uses Odysseus's Pseudonym rubs me the wrong way as well. Something big is brewing... but it will take a long while because MAN Project Moon is really trying to play the long game with Limbus Company!

[wolfcubx2]

Terrible plans

The first time they met was at a bar. She was on Midgard try to avoid her brother and his friends; avoid their never ending need to be on this quest or that. It didn't help that today was one of the days she couldn't stnd the thought of being male, it had been building all week. Thor like always was entirely unbothered by this fact, calling her sister instead and going about as usual. His friends on the other hand- well the less said about them the better in her opinion.

He was leaning against the bar, one drink in and and flirting with a couple mortal women. For obvious reasons this ment he reminded her something of Fandral, the only member of the warriors three she didn't entirely hate.. Her next thought however was that they shared very little similarities when it came to appearance. The man was tall for a mortal thought not abnormal so. With short cut brown hair and grey-blue eyes, he was handsome she decided, not bulky like the warriors of Asgard but fit and lean in a way that said he most likely knew how to fight.

Which was why she couldn't help playing a little trick on him. It was a simple trick one that didn't really require seider, a mortal could do it if they were skilled enough. He had noticed her staring, and they held eye contact for a while before she smirked. Turning away she vanished in to the crowd, the fact that the bar was well packed making it all the easier.

She wasn't leaving, there would be little point to her trick if that was all she did, instead she snuck up behind where he was standing.

"Another brandy please."

She called out to the bartender, enjoying how her voice made the man beside her jump. She smirked at him, her eyes conveying a small amount of mischief. After a second he let out a low whisle.

"That was some trick. You definitely got me good."

His face was all smiles now, before he wave the bartender down and ask him to put her drink one his tab.

"My thanks."

She said her smile softing, but he shook his head smile still on his face.

"No need, I'm James Buckman Barnes, but everyone just calls me Bucky."

James said after a moment.

"Kiol Silfur."

She responds, it's not her true name but it's certainly close enough. James smile again.

"So Doll how do you feel about a dance."

"I'd say that sounds quite enjoyable James. "

.....

Loki pauses his eyes drifting back to his brother's mortal lover. He hadn't been trying to hurt Thor when he told him to say his goodbyes. Even if she survived this mortals lived such short lives... this was something he knew from experience. But then again it wasn't as if Thor knew about James, and while there was a certain star spangled man who also remembered him as he was Loki wanted nothing to do with a man who could not even protect his own sheildbrethern, noble sacrifice be damed.

Au Loki met Bucky back before the war. They dated for a while and at some point Buck even proposed. The problem was Bucky only knew Kiol, so worried Bucky wouldn't except her/him Loki doesn't answer and instead returns to Asgard leaving him a note. [I think that perhaps I do love you James, but you do not know me as I truly am.. I won't return for a great deal of time. If your heart has not changed and still does not when I tell my truth then you may know my answer to be yes.] When Loki comes back five years later the war is over and James has been declared dead. It doesn't make much difference as far as the time line goes until Thor: Dark World. Where instead of immediately going back to Asgard and taking Odin's thrown decides to visit Earth, or more specifically a certain person's grave. The idea is that he was in fact stabbed so, between being slightly weaked and distracted because 70 years is all that long for his people, Hydra ends up grabbing him. Where Loki ends ups catching a glimpse of the Winter Soldier before and after a wipe and comes up with a really terrible plan to save James. Hydra doesn't have a way of truely stopping him from using his magic, but between drugs and a extremely strong shock collar they can stop obvious magic, and they just sort of assume the drugs keep him from thinking straight. Which is probably true considering his plan to help Bucky is to plant suggestions in the Hydra scientists studying him. The idea of breeding a superior super soldier using him or rather her at the time and the Winter soldier. So while their "breeding" them in the most literal sense Loki uses his magic to begin healing James' mind and more importantly place a protection against the wipes. It doesn't immediately make a difference, and Captain America: Winter Soldier still happens. But Bucky comes back for him/her/them and the story would go from there.

Loki’s terrible plan- get myself knocked up by my ex maybe sorta fiance to save him from the psyco spy organization we are both trapped in. Good thing I'm a shape-shifter.

Like all my plot posts I may or may not write it myself at some point but I posting this in the hope that others will use my idea to make something amazing.

Kiol (anagram for Loki) Silfur ( Silver in Icelandic)

[tdgap-official]

The Demon God’s Angelic Prince—Part 3

Their outing ended soon after, though it could be debated when it really ended. They never parted ways or said goodbye, walking back to Rayyi-la together and to the palace, called the Pyl because of the royal line's name of the same letters. From there, they made their way to the prince’s wing.

Ember flopped down onto his bed in a rather unprincely manner while Umbra stood awkwardly in front of the door. Ember glanced in Umbra’s direction, taking in his appearance once again, before speaking.

“You know you can sit down, right?”

Umbra shook his head, declining, “Thank you, but I’m perfectly fine standing, Your Highness.”

“I insist. And please, drop the formality. We are no longer strangers and I dislike being called titles such as ‘Your Highness.'”

After saying this, Ember set down his flower and held out the same hand that was previously holding the gift and pulled Umbra down onto the bed. The other allowed himself to be pulled, quite reluctantly. He ended up falling face-first on the mattress—a position that Umbra wasn’t in for long as he was quite determined to stay proper. Ember sighed internally. How stiff could this guy be? They were in Ember’s bedroom and Umbra really couldn’t even relax a bit. It wasn’t like he was going to do anything to Umbra; Ember really wasn’t into that. Especially not with men. Certainly.

After some time Ember did finally coax Umbra into loosening up. They laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling and talked about this and that. They conversed about any random topics they could come up with. In the end they fell asleep like that, talking until their tiredness took hold of them.

Ember was the second of the two to wake up in the morning and found that Umbra was long gone from the room. How unfortunate. He vividly remembered their late-night conversation and could only feel disappointed that they were not able to continue it. He took a few steps out the door. No sign of Umbra.

Determined to find his new friend, Ember sneaked out into the gardens. Hopefully his parents and brother weren’t awake; no one was allowed in the gardens before dawn. There would be a sure scolding awaiting for both Ember and Umbra if they were found out.

It happened to be that Umbra had just gone out into the gardens. In the darkness, the two men bumped into each other, and then apologized and exchanged their good mornings. Such a meeting was not abnormal, yet Umbra seemed inexplicably awkward. There was no reason for this, Ember thought. He did not think of himself as intimidating in the slightest. In fact, Ember had to be the most approachable member of all of the royalty. So, Ember deduced, Umbra must’ve been skittish by nature. That made it truly a mystery as to why Umbra was so close to the king. That man had often gone on and on in entire monologues about how one should never trust such people. Given this, Ember found himself in a dilemma. Umbra could not possibly be jumpy, nor could he be acting like this just because of Ember’s presence.

“Your Highness.”

Now, maybe Ember was simply perceiving the other man’s attitude wrongly. His thoughts always did tend to wander. They were now. Fuck…

"Your Highness! Are you unwell? You've been staring for—well, nevermind. That's just you being you, isn't it?" Umbra spoke, getting quieter and quieter as he progressed as if he was growing embarrassed.

Umbra then held out a couple of flowers as if he needed to pay a compensation for some terrible deed he'd done. Ember, of course, grabbed them, but not without first giving Umbra a rather questioning look. Yes, it was understandable to be reserved with someone when first meeting with them, but after having multiple conversations, why would someone become even moreso closed off? 

"Are you fine yourself, Umbra?" Ember decided to question. 

"I am quite well, Your Highness. Did I worry you? Haha, do not worry…"

After such an awkward exchange, Umbra made his leave and Ember was left out in the gardens. He was alone once again. The poor prince didn't know how to react to the sudden absence of his dear new companion and thus went right back inside after the other. However, once inside, Umbra went one way and Ember went the other.

[sonderinghiraeth]

Who We Are || Loki/Reader Chapter Three

A lot of things change in your life, but the bar never fails to stay the same.

Niall's was oddly quiet tonight with no sign of live music or open mic. Only the buzzing of neon lights and the low tone of random Irish blues melodied your ears when you entered. A few regulars eyed you when you entered, but soon went back to their drinks when you gave them a little wave. It was abnormal for you to come to the bar alone. You always had Lauren or another friend in tow with you to walk each other home. However, desperate times called for desperate measures.

You took a seat at the bar, the bartender greeting you with a smile.

"Look who's back, it's only Monday." He commented, already pulling out a glass from the cooler.

"Cosmopolitan. It's already been a long week." You muttered, brushing your hair back.

"Oh really? How so, dig in." The bartender, whose name was Andy, urged you.

Andy was a genuine character. He went to Columbia University with a major in Business, and that's all you had ever got out of him.

"Got this guy who's being rather intrusive in my life." You attempted to be as vague as possible, resting your chin in your hand. Your thoughts lingered back to the raven-haired God who was more than likely tearing your apartment to shreds at this very moment.

You dreaded going to classes tomorrow. It would just be another bicker-fest that would lead to a rather threatening and arousing altercation between the two of you.

"Need me to take care of him?" Andy partly joked, but you knew he would be serious if you asked.

You laughed, shaking your head. "It's nothing that serious." You lied. "He just gets into my business way too much, and I don't know how to say no to him."

"You've always had problems with turning stuff down." He mentioned, handing you your cosmo.

You sighed in relief, squeezing in the lime and taking a rather big swig of the glamorized vodka cranberry.

"I know, but this guy is different. He just knows how to press my buttons in all the worst ways."

"Sounds like you're in love."

You gagged, swiveling in your barstool. "No, I am far from it."

Andy laughed, shrugging his shoulders. "Suit yourself."

You took another swig of your cocktail, predicting you would already be ordering another. You still weren't sure how to go about telling anyone. Soon, Lauren and Kayden would try to drag you over to the frats, or you would have to go to work or school, and what if he showed up? Word would spread like wildfire among dead timber that Loki was here, and he was in your apartment of all places.

"Well if it isn't cowgirl."

Your eyes practically rolled into your brain when you heard those words, knowing exactly who was coming to burden your already terrible no-good night.

Two men crowded around you, sitting at the barstools on either side of you. You never bothered to remember their names, but they were regulars to Niall's, much to your dismay. They had made multiple pitiful and creepy attempts to try and get you to go home with either of them.

"We haven't seen you in a while, where have you been?" The man to your left mentioned, a Pabst Blue Ribbon in hand.

"Actively avoiding you." You retorted.

"Oh, so much for that southern hospitality." The one to your right teased.

"Leave her alone." Andy piped up, polishing a draft glass. "She's stated too many times that she has no interest in the two of you."

"Oh come on, she's our cowgirl!" The one to your left finished his draft, eyeing your drink.

You quickly finished it, passing it back to Andy. "Might as well have another if these two are going to pester my one moment of peace."

"One moment of peace?" The right quirked an eyebrow, leaning onto the bar.

"Yes, my life is busy. I don't waste it flirting with men at bars." You quipped, hurriedly downing the second Cosmopolitan that Andy handed over to you.

"Flirting with you isn't a waste. I can be your cowboy, and what's that one song? Save a horse, ride a cowboy."

You wanted to gag, taking a look at Andy that screamed 'Please get them to leave'.

"Okay, you're crossing the line of harassment, boys. I'm not afraid to boot you again." Andy threatened, making his way around the counter to the two of them.

They both burst into a fit of excuses and pleas, waving their arms in all different kinds of gestures. "Oh c'mon! We haven't seen her in forever!" The shorter one exclaimed as Andy gestured them to the door. "We were just teasing her, she takes things too literally!"

"You can see her again another night. Go home." Andy shooed them all the way to the door, garnering a good bit of attention from other customers at the bar.

You wanted to shove your face into your arms and scream. You couldn't go home to peace and quiet, and the bar wasn't any better. You had nowhere to escape yourself until Loki left.

"I'm sorry," Andy called your name, walking back around the counter. "How about a glass of wine? If you have a third cosmo this fast I'm afraid I won't be able to let you leave for a while."

You sighed, opting to lean your arm onto the counter. "Just do a light Daiquiri."

He nodded, turning around and prepping the blender for your cocktail.

"So this guy, is he in college with you?" Andy tried another attempt at casual conversation, but it really just stirred more anxiety within you. You hated white lying.

"No, I just met him out in public." You wanted to keep it as vague as possible, tracing the rim of your martini glass.

"That's a red flag for New York."

You snorted, trading your martini glass in for your Daiquiri.

"How was your hometown?"

You cringed, taking a sip. "Eh, I don't wanna talk about it."

"You're being quiet. You're usually bursting at the seams to tell me all the details." Andy mentioned, leaning on the counter. "I'm not pushing, but I won't judge."

You smiled, already halfway done with your drink. If it were anywhere else someone would have guessed you were pregaming. "It's different this time. Let it muddle for a while and then I'll tell you."

"If you insist. I'll put all this on your tab." He nodded, walking away to assist another customer. Finally, some quiet.

Your mind wandered to what Loki could be doing right now. You prayed that when you came home everything would still be in one piece. In reality, he was probably digging through all of your dresser drawers and kitchen cabinets.

Why you?

It could have been in Colorado, Texas, Alaska, or even North Carolina. It could have been some old man who would have reluctantly taught him the ways of the world to give him comfort in his lonesomeness. It could have been a bimbo that would have gladly worshipped at his feet and catered to his every whim. No, it was your sorry sap self that he chose to approach.

Stop.

You couldn't. You hated that Loki knew how to get under your skin so easily, even if he was the god of it. It was also the fact that your body involuntarily responded to him that angered you even more. No man had ever managed to wrap you around their finger in months like he had in one day.

You finished your Daiquiri, slowly standing up from your barstool to pretend you were sober. You knew you weren't, you were spiraling.

"Good night, Andy." You called to him, waving as you put all of your concentration on walking straight until you got to the outside.

"Have a good night." He called after you, but you were still too busy focusing on your stance.

Once out of the bar, you let out an audible sigh of relief and slouched over. Unfortunately for you, you had barely made it a couple of feet before far too familiar voices pierced your ears once more.

"Cowgirl! We've been waiting for you!" The two of them cooed, and your better judgment told you to go into the bar and ask for Andy to walk you home, but the fightin' side of you screamed to tough it out and just get home.

"Then you've been waiting for nothing." You retorted, hurriedly heading in the direction of your apartment. You stumbled, cursing to yourself.

"Come on, just once. We would love to see how cute you've dolled up your place. We know you have the best sense of fashion just by the look of you." One of them purred. Again, there was one on each side of you as you walked.

"Leave me alone." Your voice faltered, causing both of them to laugh.

"If we wanted to, we could whisk you away right now. It wouldn't be that hard." One of them grabbed your hand, pulling you to the side.

"Stop." You attempted to pull your hand away, but his grip was tighter than expected.

"Come on, just one kiss." The other one grabbed onto your other hand, causing you to duck away from the both of them.

"No." You stepped back, stumbling over a trash bag on the sidewalk. The man to the right of you caught you by the armpits.

"Looks like she's too drunk to stand, we better take you home." The other teased. lifting you back to your feet.

"Stop, I'll call Loki." You slurred, forgetting the aspect that you had a tendency to become twice as drunk once the liquor in your system moved around.

"Loki? She really is drunk, Chandler. She's blackout."

You cursed at them, or at least you thought you did. Now that you think about it, maybe you should have brought Loki along.

In the midst of their blurred muttering, you could make out short phrases such as "Let's just do it here really fast" and "Dude she won't remember by morning". You really needed to stop getting so drunk by yourself.

"You called?"

You felt the two pairs of hands let go of you, but they hadn't run away.

"Hey! Let go of me!"

You managed to look up through your blurry vision, blinking away the drowsiness as you made out a third figure among the two troublemakers. You sighed in relief, assuming that Andy had heard the three of you bickering outside of the bar.

The third figure lifted one of the men up by the collar, pulling him close. "Get near her again and I will have your head or worse. Do you understand? I will pull you apart limb by limb until you are nothing but a head." The voice was much lower than Andy's, you made another poor attempt to focus your eyes. You currently had the vision of a housefly.

You finally came to the realization that the figure in front of you possessed horns. Oh, the actual devil had come to take you now. How did this keep happening to you?

The figure slammed the man to the asphalt beside you, the other haphazardly helped him up as they both took off running down the alleyway to your left.

That left just you and the devil.

"You won't be going anywhere by yourself anytime soon." The voice became more familiar to your ears as it approached closer. You glanced up, realizing who had unlikely come to your rescue.

Loki scooped you into one of his arms, helping you stumble along the sidewalk towards your apartment.

"I hadn't realized that you're such a hot commodity." He commented, finally taking you into both arms to carry you the rest of the way. He smelled like your body wash.

"That's the nicest thing you've said to me all day." You slurred, lolling your head back in his arms.

"Don't expect much more."

You felt the leverage of going up the stairs, digging your face into Loki's arms to prepare yourself for the blinding light of the lobby way.

"I didn't expect to get this drunk. I was scared they were going to spike my drink, so I drank fast." You poorly ground out an excuse for him, like he even needed one.

"Something tells me you said the same thing last night when you were drunker than Stark."

"I wasn't that drunk."

"Your actions spoke otherwise."

You heard the jiggle of your apartment door. Had you really made it all the way up the elevator without even noticing? You just kept your head limp, resting in Loki's arms.

"Do you do this every night?" The starch of your couch welcomed you. You shook your head.

"Just loving being back in New York." You let your head hit the cushion, sinking all the way into the throw pillow.

Silence lingered, and finally, your thoughts breached from your mind. "You could've left me there to die and you would have had this apartment all to yourself."

"Don't be ridiculous, I still need a maid." You felt Loki's weight down on the other side of the couch.

If you were sober, you would have cussed him. You laughed instead. "I will not be your maid. I will hardly be your roommate."

"We will see."

A beat.

"Why do you care so much about my family?"

Your eyes were closed, but you still wanted to talk to him while he was open to conversation.

"Family is important."

"What is left of my family is lonesome. None of them view the world the same as me."

"I can understand that. Rest now."

"You wouldn't have a clue. You're a God."

You felt a throw blanket toss over you, and that was all it took for you to welcome your drunken sleep.

-

The morning sun never came.

You blinked your eyes open, putting your weight on one hand to lift yourself up.

You glanced around the living room, catching sight of one of your throw blankets duct-taped to the upper sill of the window, shielding you from the light.

Your memory of last night was murky. You could hardly remember the exact timeline of events that went down. You remember those two assholes, and you remember being picked up by Loki.

"She stubbornly lives to see another day." Loki's voice came from the right of you. You turned to see Loki lounging upon your loveseat with your copy of Jane Eyre in hand.

You groaned, falling back onto the couch. "Every time I get drunk I do so in hopes that you were just some nightmare."

Loki stifled a snicker. "It is some people's grandest dream to serve me."

"Those people must live low lives." You muttered, reaching for the glass of water on the coffee table and the bottle of NSAIDs.

"You're welcome." Loki stood up and headed into the kitchen to prepare a cup of coffee. "You're a spoiled brat."

"Thanks." You called after him, taking two pills followed by a huge gulp of water. You finished the glass in three sips.

"What time is it?" You felt around for your phone, finally standing up to hear the satisfying crack of your joints.

"It is 9 a.m."

"I have to go to class."

"Then I suppose I will be attending."

"You will not be attending. Do you know how fast news would spread that you were still in New York if you went to a college campus?"

"How can I trust you will not get belligerently drunk on the way back? You have a horrid habit."

"I won't get drunk in the dead middle of the day. You can't come to class with me."

You trotted off down the hall, closing the door to your bedroom and digging through your dresser drawers to find an appropriate outfit.

"What of last night?" Loki asked through the door.

You paused, grunting to yourself as you slid on a pair of jeans. "What of it?"

"I saved your life."

"You saved my life to benefit yourself, but if you're looking for a thank you, then thank you."

Once dressed, you opened the door to your bedroom and went to the bathroom to freshen up your hygiene. Loki followed in your wake.

"I demand you stay here."

You laughed through your toothbrush, almost coughing on the toothpaste.

"I demand you stay here!"

You spit out all of the paste in your mouth, washing it out and putting your toothbrush back in its holder. "No."

"No?"

"No. I am going to class. My future is in my hands and I don't foresee you handing me a diploma." You went back into your bedroom to look for your backpack.

"What are you even studying?"

"Communications. I'm going to be a speech writer or an editor." You slung your backpack around your shoulder and headed towards the door with your keys and wallet in hand.

Loki yelled your name, grabbing your wrist as your other reached to pull the doorknob. "If you do not stay here then there will be consequences. I must be tended to."

"Are you scared to be by yourself or something?" A hint of a smirk pulled at your lips, slowly letting go of the knob.

"No, you are my servant. You've already proven to be a sorry excuse for one, but that does not mean I won't exert my force to mold you into a good one." He threatened.

"Your Highness, I suggest you let go of me before I uppercut that chin of yours." You retorted, snatching your hand back from him.

Loki snatched it back, dragging you dangerously close to him. You could feel his hot breath bristle through the strands of your hair. "That mouth is going to get you into a world of trouble."

Your eyes widened, and your brain told you to take a step back, but you were frozen in your current stance. "Let go of me." Your voice was weaker than intended.

Loki took his other hand to clamp upon your neck, thumbing around your jugular. "I will not hesitate to carve a piece out of that neck of yours." He mocked your threat, then abruptly let go of you.

"Go to this 'class' then return to me immediately. You would be ever the wiser to follow my commands you brat."

He slammed the door behind you, leaving you to the screaming of your own thoughts in the hallway.

Your foresight is impeccable.

Classes made your brain wrack more than you would like to admit.

It was only two days of living with Loki and he was already all you could think about. Every single possibility ran through your head on what could possibly happen next.

Even when Lauren and Kayden tried to strike up a conversation you were short and the tone that cinched your voice was more than evident. You knew the topic was about to loop around when the two gave each other that look.

"Okay, listen-" Lauren began, but Kayden interjected. "Did something happen at home?"

You shook from your thoughts, whispering just below the voice of the professor. "No, it's just stressful being back."

"Come on, we know that's not it. You love New York." Lauren sloppily wrote down a note off the projector screen.

"Just because I love New York doesn't mean I can't be stressed with getting used to the busy schedule again. The online work was easy."

"All of your classes but two are online anyways." Lauren commented.

Kayden smirked at Lauren. "Did you meet somebody? You only get this quiet when you have a crush."

You pretended to gag, shaking your head. "No, no crush. Far from it."

"Oh, but there is somebody."

Your blood pressure spiked, and your heart rate picked up at Lauren's words. What were you to say? Usually, you tell them everything under the moon. They would know something is up if you were secretive about this one thing. They would find a way to find out. Should you tell them? Would it be easier to just tell them instead of them finding out on their own?

Horror peeled through your veins thinking about what could possibly unfold if they showed up at your apartment unannounced. Loki was not about to kill your friends.

"Guys if I tell you you have to pinky promise this with like a double stamp that you will tell no one, you won't freak out, and you will be as open-minded and understanding as you possibly can."

"God I hope you're not fucking your cousin."

Lauren shoved Kayden, who contained her fit of giggles. "We triple promise."

You sighed, shoving your face into your hands. Here goes nothing.

"So like, that Loki guy is living in my apartment right now."

The two of them fell silent. Their expressions dropped to a contortion of equal amounts of confusion and horror.

"I'm sorry, you mean the guy who you literally left home to escape?" Lauren leaned over the table, the conversation became much more quiet. "You're joking."

"Yeah, him."

"How? Was he there when you came home? Did he rob you? Threaten you? I thought he was arrested!" Lauren shushed Kayden.

"He was arrested, and then he went home his dad or something banished him back down here without his powers. So he's like, a wimp right now." You wouldn't exactly say a wimp could choke you out with one hand, but you had to play this off like it was no big deal as much as you possibly could. "He stopped me on my way home and uhh.. I was drunk. I didn't really know what I was doing."

"So this God of mortal terror is staying in your apartment because you got drunk."

You sighed in exasperation. It sounded much more embarrassing aloud. "Yeah,"

"Oh my god. Oh my god. How are you not dead?!"

"He claims he wants me as his maid and upkeep. He's actually kind of hospitable in a really weird way. You gotta remember he's without his powers." You couldn't believe you were defending him right now.

"Does your mom know?"

"No, and she will not know."

They both quietly groaned your name, and you groaned back at them.

"Are you going to call the police?"

"No! I'm not getting involved in all that! I'd rather reluctantly have him sleep in the guest bedroom for now until I figure out what to do."

"Then where are we going to sleep after the frats?!" Kayden pouted.

"On the couch." You simply replied.

With that, class was over and you hadn't paid a lick of attention. All of the other students around the three of you rose and headed out the doorway.

You awkwardly stood up, your backpack around your shoulder. "So, guys. I'll see you around. You're still welcome to come over, I guess. I know this is a lot."

As you walked past the professor, she called your name.

"It's good to see you in class again! Don't forget next week we'll be having a career seminar with a few agents from SHIELD."

Her expression was chipper as ever, and you prayed she couldn't see the sour crinkle in your nose. You were about to be face to face talking to SHIELD agents next week who probably already knew your name, age, social security number, oh, and that a hell-raising God was squatting in your apartment. How many times were you going to be forced into this treacherous cycle?

"Oh yeah! I'll be there, thanks for reminding me!"

This couldn't possibly get any worse.

[babybabymerrychristmas]

no because genuinely though, i had NO IDEA people preferred to cook things over bake stuff until very recently in my life and it genuinely BOGGLES MY MIND that is a common mentality for people to have because i think it genuinely exposes how autistic i am actually am for real. i

know people hate when you make your entire personality related to your disability issues or whatever but autism has genuinely explained SO. FUCKING. MUCH. of who i am and i find new ways to link my personality traits to it every fucking day i live with the knowledge of having this disorder [i hate this phrasing but i cannot think of a better way to phrase it rn] and it's genuinely like.

yall seen that elyse meyers video that's like "getting diagnosed at 29-ish or whatever with autism is like wow this changes absolutely nothing and everything at the same time and for the rest of my life" that is exactly, EXACTLY how i feel about my own autism diagnosis.

it's something you cannot understand, i dont think, unless you were diagnosed with a personality disorder as well [i personally think autism could be called a personality disorder but thats my unscientific and probably terribly uninformed opinion do not take this beyond a grain of salt ok] later in life where you're just like wow. holy shit. it's been autism [or other disorder] this entire time? it was just autism? im not an evil bitch? im just autistic???? how much of it was autism. was it all autism. holy fuck, it was ALL autism.

i think what a lot of it is that i had no context for any of my life experiences until i learned about ASD and i started thinking of my life in that particular context and it was a light bulb moment for me personally.

like, oh, im fucking normal, yall bitches are just fucking rude and mean for no fucking reason. got it.

and its like how do u NOT make everything about your disability when your disability affects literally EVERYTHING.

i prefer to bake over cook because i find baking to be more rigid of a medium than cooking is and i like that rigidity. it's like, of course, a lot of it, i think stems from people misunderstanding what disorders are and what it means to be mentally ill. people view it as being another "species" of human altogether. they view it as having either "normal" human traits or "abnormal human traits" they DO NOT view it as having an INBALANCED approach to handling your specific human traits that appear in everyone but appear more frequently to the point of detriment socially in you specifically for some reason.

and when you grow up being viewed at as abnormal but without a reason why because nobody wants to call you a weird freak to your face, it's impossible i think to not recontextualize everything in your life through the new lens of perspective once you're finally validated and taken seriously in your experiences.

anyways this is getting so long and boring but like i just.... even my desire for baking man. even that is because of the autism, huh.

[navy-heart]

eeeek hi its the moon(frequently on tumblr, as you know).... I don't really wanna vent in a place where people can connect in back To Me but I also need to vent so hard so uh. Don't answer this if you feel uncomfortable with it! I just need to feel like I'm talking to someone who's not actually a person I know irl ykyk

horse ocean voice: man. like. I'm kinda vaguely aware that other high school freshmen are like out enjoying their lives right now but like I genuinely what if my parents get the Deportation. I'm aware it's a pretty slim chance but !!!!!scary nonetheless...I know a lot of trans women from this one discord server I'm in and I'm very scared for all of them. I really don't. Know? What to do...most things that people are recommending you do are like. Yknow for adults but I'm Four Teen so there's not much I can do so I've just been very anxious and sad for the entire day and it's just. Augh.mmmmmmmmhmhnhn. terrified!whatttt am I gonna do... my grandparents who are Old were going to move here but they Probably Not Going to oDo that Anymore. Which makes me sad I was kinda looking forward to that. Man what a terrible time to be a multiply minority

Sending /pat pats. Definitely a shitty place to be in.

Ok so several points:

1) There has been election interference of unprecedented scale and voter fraud which may yet turn the tide. Don't lose hope yet. I know this sounds silly when I'm out here doomposting myself but we won't know the real results until at least 12th. It can change.

2) Don't borrow grief from the future. Do what you can to prepare (emotionally if nothing else) to Shitty Things Happening but there's no point of grieving about what has not happened yet. Worst case scenario Trump won't be in the office for two more more months, and then it'll take him some more time to start doing shit, dangerous shit. You have time before any real change will happen; the scenario where he starts mass decoration won't happen on Trump Office Day 1, it's literally impossible for him to do that. You have plenty of time.

3) You're 14? You're not responsible for political shit happen, ever, in any way. Whatever guilt you have you have full right to drop it right then and there. Adults of your nation failed you. You have no responsibility to take any action in retaliation no matter what anyone tells you, which I can't say about the adults here.

That said: you can probably do some type of volunteer work. You can just be attentive to minorities in your life and offer your help. I've also posted about Community Building stuff on my main which you can also do regardless of age.

Being 14 is just an exceptionally shitty period of life because you feel responsible for every bad thing happening and want to help people but can't in any substantial way. It sucks. It always sucks no matter who or where you are. This is a universal 14 years old experience. Breathe. You're not alone and managing this will be easier later on.

Also: don't compare yourself to other people your age. I mean this with care, but you don't know the actual numbers here. Most high-schoolers I know are also the most stressed out and anxious and depressed people I know. The average highschool freshman enjoying their life without a care in the world is not real and a result of a statistical anomaly called Rich White Straight Kid + the abnormal portrayal of High School in most media. Most of your peers are also worried about this and have strongly held political opinions, it's just unlikely they'll be open about it.

The most subversive act you can do right now is learn from this experience, persevere and make your voice heard next time. This is why most of my advice here focuses on mental health stuff and not Actual Action. Unfortunately that's the case for underage people in most of politically charged countries. My heart goes to you.

[misscrawfords]

I've been feeling absolutely nothing at all in regards to my father's death since returning to the town where I work. It's like nothing that happened back home over the summer actually took place. Apparently this sort of new phase of denial is normal, but it feels really weird. Every now and then I have a sort of flash and then my mind screams at me and it goes away again. But I can't help feel like it's all going to come crashing down around me at some point. I feel really melancholy this evening and lonely (not abnormal for me) but I'm not really thinking about it directly or anything. I just think/feel it... sideways. IDK.

I've got a weird set of feelings towards men at the moment. Because on the one hand, while my father was ill and dying, I saw the absolute best of men- strength, compassion, support, kindness - and sometimes where I wouldn't have expected it. It buoyed me up and gave me hope. But I have also been totally ignored the entire summer by a man I considered a close friend who couldn't even do the bare minimum and post a message of condolence on facebook, let alone contact me directly. I am so disappointed and disillusioned. Whatever I might have felt for him, a) I definitely don't now and b) was clearly not in the same ballpark as him. Meanwhile, the random guy from uni who I was talking to a bit at the beginning of the summer faded away and although I actually asked him out (well, asked if he wanted to come with me to an exhibition but that's basically asking him out, RIGHT?) because I am no longer afraid of rejection, he never even bothered to reply. His loss. But what is WRONG with the men I choose to be interested in? Why are they incapable of communicating or showing any interest back? I know I'm not super hot but what about me is making them lose any interest they ever had? Or why am I going for such utterly useless men? When clearly there are kind, generous, humorous, giving, intelligent men out there! Because this summer proved it! It's so baffling to me. And frustrating. Are single men who apparently want relationships just genuinely not interested in interacting with and showing interest in women who show some interest in them? Or is it just me?! Again... IDK.

I'm seriously considering dealing with all my issues by writing Harry Potter fanfiction. I KNOW OKAY??? But this summer has been... all manner of terrible and I'm trying to figure out who I am - really and truly figure it out. As my mother pointed out to some relative recently, "She really did identify to such an extent with Hermione Granger" and maybe I just need somehow to retreat to that safe space of my adolescence and explore who I am through Hermione Granger again. I know JKR is no longer someone to admire, I get it, but HP fandom (rather than the books which I've actually only read once) has always been such a safe space for me. Again... I don't know.

I don't know much at the moment. I think I should go to bed.

[silver-tooth-the-panther]

I have a question that has bugged me.

How would your Half-Demon Tanjiro! AU react to my Muzan Au?

While I am here, can I request some Zohakuten noms with my oc: Kiriku?

He is a harpy type of demon, and is more bird like. His personality is strict, and hates it when weak people are being hurt/ picked on.

Take your time!

(Here’s your fic! Sorry it took a while, but I’m dealing with a lot of personal stuff. As for your question, the half demons would definitely be surprised by your AU. Tanjiro and the Hashiras would probably be incredibly protective and quick to fight until they proved to them that they weren’t a threat. The demons though would probably be really scared. They just don’t want to go through what Muzan put them through again. This fic takes place in the modern era and Zohakuten looks like an adult.)

Traveling Within a Harpy

(A Zohakuten Vore Fanfic)

Warnings: some blood, rescue, soft vore

“Damn it! How the hell did this happen?” Zohakuten growled angrily as he ran through the forest. He was sent on a patrolling mission with Rengoku’s team. Nothing too abnormal. However, things changed when Giyuu saw a woman, covered in blood, stumble out of an abandoned warehouse.

Then, a group of men burst through the doors, grabbing her and telling her to get back inside. The team couldn’t just stand there, so they immediately took action. The clones formed Zohakuten and decided to come out from the back where the forest was. Everyone else approached from the front.

The team was quick and they burst through the warehouse walls. They found the group of men tying the woman to a chair. They looked shocked and a bit scared when they saw the group of half demons. Luckily, it took barely any time to get those thugs to the ground. Rengoku agreed to take the injured woman to a hospital while the others stayed and cleaned up.

Unfortunately, one of the thugs wasn’t fully unconscious. He immediately made a sprint towards the hole in the back wall. “Hey! Get back here!” Zohakuten gave chase to the thug. He chased him all the way to the heart of the forest until the thug collapsed from exhaustion. “Finally gotcha!” Zohakuten panted as he kicked the thug. “Monsters like you don’t deserve to live.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” A strange masculine voice called out from above him. “What the- Who are you?!” Zohakuten turned his head to face the strange voice. There he saw a large being flying in the moonlight.

The being had long black hair and sharp, green eyes. Most of his chest was covered in a white bandage and there seemed to be some jewelry around the top of his head. The strangest part about him were his magenta wings and bird-like legs. “I’m Kiriku. The Harpy demon.” He said in a calm voice.

Kiriku gently landed in front of Zohakuten and the thug. Although Zohakuten’s appearance has matured, he still was incredibly short. So the harpy towered over him. “You must be this world’s version of Zohakuten.” Kiriku purred as he slowly approached the small demon.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Zohakuten growled, stepping back. He didn’t want the demon to know that he was intimidated. “No need to worry, dear. I’m not going to hurt you.” Kiriku smiled at him before walking over to the unconscious thug. “I can merely travel to different universes. That’s why I know your name, but I don’t know much else about you.” The harpy nudged the thug with his talon.

“That must be why Lord Tanjiro hasn’t converted him yet.” Zohakuten mumbled to himself. Kiriku perked his head up. “I’m guessing this man was doing something terrible. I smell blood on him and it’s not his.” Zohakuten nodded. “Yeah. My team and I saved a poor girl from his gang’s grasp.”

Kiriku’s eyes glimmered with interest. “Really? You saved someone?” His voice was filled with wonder and curiosity, not sarcasm. Zohakuten nodded once more. “We demons don’t kill anybody anymore. We are now actually referred to as The Dark Angels or Half Demons.”

“I see.” Kiriku purred with interest. “Things certainly have changed since I was last here.” He gazed up at the stars, fondly. “Well I better get going. I don’t want my team to worry about me.” Zohakuten turned to leave, but his knees buckled and gave way.

“Oof!” He yelped as he hit the ground. Kiriku sprang to his feet and went to Zohakuten’s side. “Are you alright?” He asked calmly with a hint of concern. “I’m fine. Just tired is all.” Zohakuten tried to get up again, but his legs were simply too tired. “God damn it!” Zohakuten growled.

“Here, I can help you.” Kiriku spread out one of his wings to help Zohakuten up. “I can take you back.” Zohakuten grabbed the wing and stood up. “How do you plan on doing that?” Zohakuten grunted. Kiriku chuckled nervously and fiddled with his feathers. “Ever heard of pouching?”

Zohakuten’s eyes widened. “Yes. I have, but why would you want to pouch me?” Kiriku gave him a soft smile. “I just want to make sure that you get home safely.” Zohakuten furrowed his brow in disbelief. “Why should I trust you?” The harpy continued to fiddle with his wings. “Do I smell untrustworthy?”

“No..” Zohakuten sighed. “Fine, but you will let me out when I get back.” Kiriku chirped happily. “Deal!” Before Zohakuten could say another word, his head and shoulders were trapped inside the harpy’s jaws. “Not so fast!” Zohakuten struggled out of surprise, but quickly stopped himself. He felt the harpy pick his body up off the ground and tilt his head back.

Zohakuten then entered the demon’s throat. He grumbled to himself as he was carried down by the warm and soft tube. The demon’s heartbeat became louder and louder with every swallow. It didn’t take long for Zohakuten to reach the harpy’s stomach.

The warm pouch-like organ held the small demon gently. The walls moved with every breath the harpy took and the sound of his heartbeat came from all around him. “Are you okay in there?” Kiriku chirped softly. “I’m fine, but give me a heads up next time!” Zohakuten growled.

“Alright! Alright! I will.” Kiriku shook his head and stretched out his wings. “So where do you live?” Zohakuten eased his body against the soft tissue. “By the Butterfly Donation Center in Tokyo.” The harpy nodded. “Got it.” Zohakuten then felt the walls move around him. He presumed it was because Kiriku had finally taken off.

Zohakuten sighed as he curled up inside the warm organ. His eyes grew heavy as the harpy continued to fly. Instead of fighting his urges, he took advantage of the moment and fell into a deep sleep.

[vtforpedro]

personal/med update

My brain is fried mush right now. I survived my disability hearing on Tuesday. It was definitely informal, a little intimidating, but I feel I got through it well enough. My attorney said it’s a toss up because this judge is extremely professional and won’t give any indication and he sure didn’t. The vocational expert narrowed me down to like 3 jobs, then 2, then 1, then 0. I felt that was a good thing? Like am I not disabled if I can’t do any jobs? Either way, my age is working against me so we shall see. It’s very strange that you can be completely disabled and unable to work, but not by US law so they won’t provide aid. Blegh. Gotta wait another 1-3 months for his written decision. ._. Last Thursday, I noticed I had a ‘spot.’ I call them spots b/c I have eczema but I also had a bad ringworm infection in 2015 and called them spots then. Red spots that turn into rings. Anyway thought it was gonna be eczema but by Friday I was covered in many more. Cue me having multiple meltdowns about it interfering with my hearing if it got too bad lmao It didn’t, but it is bad! I had 49 ringworm spots as of last night and they grow in number by day. So, I went to see an NP b/c my dr couldn’t fit me in. Went as well as every other medical professional interaction has, which was terribly, and left me in tears and feeling beat down yet again by the medical field. She wants disabled me, who was bedbound for eight months and currently in PT to recover, to put cream on 49 spots and counting. With IIH and nerve damage that limits my movement and ability to stand for longer than 10-15 min. But she kept interrupting me and wouldn’t let me explain any of this. Her notes said ‘she is not usually terribly active’ so I guess being bedbound translates to that somehow??? She also said I had 3-4 spots on my breasts which is not what she was told by me or what her MA wrote down. lmao so guess who had to message her pcp again!!!!!!!! A completely healthy person can’t be expected to put cream on 49 spots 2x a day. For me, this involves washing my skin since I am unable to shower every day cause of the whole disabled thing. She said a lot more bullshit about my swollen feet and fatigue, so basically I got zero help. It was barely a 10min appt. Fucking hate them, I swear. She refused to give me the oral anti-fungal cause of my other meds, but my mom asked the pharmacist today and she said I’d be fine to take it. The pharmacist asked, unprompted, if an NP, urgent care or ER doctor said no to the oral pill and my mom was like YES! And she said they don’t understand it and won’t give it despite it being used every day even for yeast infections and athlete’s foot. She said her friend went through this shit too trying to get the oral pill. Back in 2015, I suffered this infection for 5mos while applying for health insurance/getting approved/waiting for a pcp because no NP, UC or ER doctor would give me the oral med lmao I saw my new pcp finally and he was like uhhhh no here’s a prescription for it you have way too many spots to worry about putting cream all over your body. Y’all I had been washing my sheets, towels, clothes, taking apple cider vinegar baths, soaking my spots in ACV, then applying one of five or six otc and prescription creams EVERY DAY. I spent two hours twice a day in my bathroom. Ringworm was what I did every day all day for five fucking months. I cannot fathom doing that again. It’s insanity. I was close to a mental breakdown and I only had MH issues back then, none of the physical stuff. I hate it here man Also why do I keep having shit happen every time I turn around. No idea why my feet are swelling, no idea why I have this abnormal fatigue that makes me teary because I sit here and stare at my screen unable to think of anything else but how tired I am. Like for long periods of time. She said to talk to my psychiatrist about it HOOOOOOOO. I woke up this morning and immediately started crying. It’s triggering being treated this way after three years of it. I should’ve waited to see my pcp and used otc in the meantime or something, but my pcp wanted me in asap for my swollen feet so I could get lab orders. Which, according to this NP, ‘there are no labs for swollen feet.’ Where did they get this lady She’s like WHAT ABOUT YOUR LEUKEMIA DID THEY CURE IT? I’m like my chronic, lifelong leukemia? No, it is in remission lmao chronic is right there in the name ma’am. It’s the first word. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’m gonna go cry again sorry for ranting I am so so so fucking sick of medical professionals and I cannot wait for it to slow down but my february is completely booked and march is halfway there. Chronic pain life baby!!!!