#I am so tired and I need to sleep. was up till 4am last night. but I'm not tired. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

akvtsuki-ari · 5 years ago

Text

Downers

Warnings: smut, fingering, penetration, oral (both recieving),(( reader swallows lol)), alchohol

Length: 4.7k

Authors Note: idk how to explain the context of this fic kjshjek but before you read i highly reccomend listening to the song this fic is based on!! normally it doesn’ matter either way but it’s directly apart of the fic!! the song is Downers by Greentea Peng

Summary: Spencer comes back from a one-night stand with insomnia he can’t shake. The hotel bar is welcome company, and the singer there seems to catch all his attention

Spencer couldn't remember her name.

Here he was in her hotel room, mouth on her neck, hands on her skin - whispering to her how beautiful she was and he just couldn't remember her name. He doesn't even know if he asked - he can't remember that much of their interactions since there interaction in the bar. Her dress was pretty, so Spencer went up to her. She was alone - she needed the company, her and her boyfriend were taking a break he thinks. She told him that she liked his tie, and his hair and he smiled and dazzled her, made a stupid magic joke and manage to get her back here

Spencer was good at this now, he knew how to get here everytime. It wasn't difficult after you get the hang of it. It was profiling after all, something he realized when this all started so many months ago. It's funny to try and recall a time before this - Spencer was always the butt of the joke because he used to tell himself he couldn't do one night stands. He wasn't wrong, either - at first he would just get too attached but things stopped mattering. Slowly but surely all the pieces fell away and he just started needing easy company, shed his skin of his job and make sure he made someone else feel good.

He was never really hedonistic but he figures things change right? When he fucks another girl whose name he doesn't remember, he's not keeping score - just trying to focus on making her feel good and the way it feels when he orgasms. He's chasing that feeling of high - even if it's temporary it makes him feel something and that's enough. Life is about more than chasing pleasure in the long run but this was now, and the feeling of the girl whose name he can't remember wrapping her mouth along the tip of his dick was enough. For now this feeling was enough, bucking his hips into her throat and making sure she gets off. He was an asshole but he wasn't a selfish one.

"Shit, I'm gonna cum," She annouces. Spencer nods in approval, pressing his forehead against hers as she finishes. She moans Spencers name aloud and Spencer wants to ignore it but he can't. Spencer cums soon after that, pulling out of the unnamed women beneath him

"Jesus," she breathes out heavy. Spencer laughs before looking at her.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," she says to him softly, "feel free to join me," she winks. Spencer just gives her a smile as she slinks away into the bathroom.

Spencer knew the drill. He didn't leave a note, he didn't ask her name because he wasn't planning on seeing her again. He sits a few minutes, redressing quietly and leaving quieter. He used to flinch when he shut the door but the hotel hallway was familiar to him now. Making eye contact with cleaning women and janitors who gave him what felt like knowing stares. Spencer was used to it, all of it - even if it was difficult.

Spencer doesn't feel like a slut. He probably should, but he doesn't really feel anything. He's doing the walk of shame, leaving her hotel room in the middle of the night and he just sorta.. doesn't care.

He wishes he did, but there's no time for that now. He checks the watch on his wrist, the time reading 1am and as if on cue, he yawns. His eyes are sleepy and he's rather exhausted, and he finds himself heading back to his own hotel in a tired daze

When Spencer returns to his hotel - he really can't sleep. He tries, laid in bed, tossing and turning for hours but it wasn't coming to him. They were supposed to be leaving the day after tomorrow, closed in by the weather that wouldn't let the jet take off so he was stuck there. He wanted nothing more than to get some rest, but it was fruitless. Spencer looks over at the pamphlet he picked up from downstairs - looking at all the different things that the hotel had going on. It says there's a live, late-night singer at the bar in the hotel. Y/N Y/L/N. He sighs, rubbing his face with his hands before standing up and putting back on his normal clothes. A live show and a drink might not be so bad, and maybe there's something (or really someone,) for Spencer to do.

He walks down at 3am, it'd only been an hour since he got back and it was still dark out. Everything was still as he walked into the hallway and elevator. every sound felt louder and more distinct. There wasn't a soul out there other than staff who was forced to work earlier shifts and other people doing the same walk of shame he was doing earlier. He can't bring himself to look at them, but Spencer was certainly understanding of them.

He manages to make it to the hotel bar, which was surprisingly nice - he has to admit. Lowlights and candelabras all over the place add to the ambiance, the ceiling mirrored as he looks to all the patrons in the bar. Mostly older men, drinking whiskey alone as typical as it was. There were some women that caught his eyes, but he's not ready to tango with someone like that so he orders a drink at the bar. He likes scotch on the rocks, but he's not really one to drink it often. One can't hurt, he doesn't think. The odd sense of isolation while being in a public place and the alcohol in his system might make him more tired faster. He doesn't want another one-night stand but that loneliness hits quickly, and his original plans may fall through.

He waits it out, sitting down at a chair near the small platform that served as a stage. He watches as on older gentleman picks the mic up, announcing that name he read earlier. Y/N Y/L/N.

He sees a woman walk up onto the stage, so beautiful he coughs on his scotch. A man across the ways looks to Spencer and laughs, nodding in understanding.

"Wait till you hear her voice," He says quietly. Spencer just nods, eyes fixated on the way you move. You look classic, hair let loose wearing a sequin dress. You weren't too flashy, but you definitely managed to catch everyone's attention. You had a jaded expression, eyes flashing up to the crowd softly. You look directly towards Spencer and give him a knowing smile. He was new, you'd never seen him here before.

"How's everyone doing tonight, hm? Can't be too well if you're here seeing me at 4am, but still good I hope," you say chuckling. It lightens the somewhat somber energy that seems to swallow the place up as the bar regulars and other lonely folks of the night all watch you. You laugh softly into the microphone.

"Anyone have any requests for me, or am I free to sing what I'd like?," you ask the small audience. Everyone gives encouraging whoops at the second option and you give that same lighthearted giggle that Spencers heart aches for. You were unbelivably beautiful, the light catching the highlights of your face as you look at everyone smoothly. You tuck some hair behind your ears as you look to the small band.

"Let's do the song I was practicing upstairs earlier," you call to them. They all nod their heads at you, as you clear your throat and take a sip of water.

"This song is called Downers, by Greentea Peng," you say softly. You start humming along with the music before you start to sing the lyrics and christ -

"I can't smell the flowers / felt empty now for hours / lost my powers / I can't smell the flowers / I'm sick of all these towers / think I done too many Downers," You sing the first verse with ease. Spencer's ears are so attuned to the music he can barely drink his scotch. Your voice is melodic, it flows out with no problem and soothes Spencer so much he feels like he could pass out right there. His eyes look to your expression, eyes closed as you smile at the self-aware lyrics of the song. Your body language is so comfortable with the words, he imagines the song is personal to you in some way.

"hard to see the value in these half-hearted encounters / can't deal with the truth so we just change the world around us / to feel and smell just like we want it to / fuck what we're meant to do / can't hang round be no fool / wasting time just getting high / getting high / to get by / clear my mind clear blue skies / all this time I've been flying from up here," You sing the runs with easy, your voice syncing perfectly with the music being played. Spencer's eyes don't leave you for even a second as he watches you sink in and become part of the music. Your shoulders fall, as you tap along the rhythm of the song before singing the chorus again, then delving into the second verse.

The first verse weighs on Spencer's mind as you continue onto the second and third verse. The lyrics of the song are as fitting to him as possible. It feels too relevant for Spencer to forget about it but he tries as you continue your performance, mixing modern radio ballads with older classics. Your voice is like medicine to Spencer's exhaustion, he wants to relax in the sound forever and his head's so fixated on you - he knows he needs to talk to you. To get to know you, something if anything. He doesn't remember the last time he's felt this strong towards someone but he'd be damned if he didn't chase it.

When you finish your performance, you collect tips from all the bar patrons and wish everybody a kind morning. Spencer didn't realize that another full hour had passed and he sees walking towards the bar so, in the least creepy way he can, he stands to follow you. You order a club soda and sit on the bench, where Spencer takes a seat next to you. You roll your eyes, but you'd be lying if you said he wasn't attractive to you. You turn your body to face him and he shoots you smile in return.

"You're not one for subtlety are you?," you say softly as the bartender hands you your drink. You take a sip, feeling the cool relief on your worn throat. Spencer laughs, looking at the floor before looking back up at you.

"For a woman as beautiful as you? Can't say I am, no," Spencer says lightly. You roll your eyes but you're smiling into your drink as you do.

"What about flattery?," you ask again. Spencer chews the corner of his lips as his eyes grace your body, noticing the way your skin shows around the shoulders of your dress. He laughs.

"That one I can manage," Spencer's voice is a murmur. You put your drink down and readjust how you sit, looking at Spencer's face. You can see right through him, really. You can with most men, but especially someone who does what you used to do. You want to laugh at him and say theres no need for the formality but it isn't for the two of you. It's for the people in the bar who count the seconds before you two walk away together. You were going to fuck him, you knew that the second he sat so close during your performance but the rest of the bar didn't so the formal talk and idle chat is for them.

"I don't really do this very often -" Spencer starts. You roll your eyes, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"You're not a good liar, you know that?," you say softly. Spencer is startled but intrigued by your observation. He looks to you for an explanation and you just shrug at him. He looks into your eyes and it's like you see past him. He falters for a few seconds.

"Old habits die hard," you start first "picking up on when someones lying to sleep with me just happens to be one," you say, chuckling. You're not upset or sarcastic, simply laughing at the situation and reminiscing. Spencer shifts uncomfortably for a second, not really used to someone being able to see through him so quickly.

"I should be clear that I'd still like to sleep with you," you say, blinking through your lashes. Spencer nearly chokes when he hears, a blush forming on his face. It was becoming clear that you were gonna lead the way on this one.

"But don't be dishonest, it's boring - you yourself are probably more interesting than what you tell other people," you say thoughtfully. Spencers befuddled at how you just seem to know but you shake your head.

"I've made my rounds, men and women," you say casually. Spencer feels like he's dying at your confession but can't help himself - finding it beyond attractive that you managed both.

"What do you wanna know?" Spencer asks relaxed. You give him a small smile.

"What's your name? What do you do? Whats your star sign? The usual," you say jokingly. Spencer can't help but laugh, genuinely laugh.

"My names Dr. Spencer Reid, I work for the FBI for the Behavioral Analysis Unit, and I'm told I'm a Scorpio," Spencer says, smiling. Penelope told him that forever ago though he hasn't thought about since then. You give him a grin.

"An FBI agent ? You must be here for all the murders they had in downtown, huh?," you ask curiously. He looks suprised but how in touch you are.

"I keep up with the news," you say casually. Spencer keeps learning about you and his attraction to you only increased. He nods, telling you you're right and you mentally high-five yourself.

"What do you wanna ask me?," you say, perching your lips out. Spencer looks at them before his eyes flick up at your eyes

"What else do you? Other than sing, I mean,"

You tilt your head in though for a second, before shrugging.

"For work? I make most of my money singing, anyways. I studied other stuff in college, but music is what I love to do and I make decent money off of working different celebrations. This bar gave me my first gig so I'm always here. Other than that, I volunteer at local stuff - gotta keep in touch you know?," you softly. Spencer looks at your expression with an adoration he can't explain. He finds himself speaking before he can think too much about it.

"I haven't been looked into like that before," Spencer blurts out. You chuckle.

"You said you do behavioral analysis, right?," you asks. Spencer nods.

"Trying to get someone to fuck you is esentially the same. You watch them and try to appeal to their situations so you get your result. You're a hunter, all the same. Sometimes it's killers and sometimes it's an attractive woman whose married but doesn't have her ring on - it's a mindgame," you say carefully. Spencer knows you're right but the way you say it so bluntly makes him feel a way. It's the first time a woman has made him this uncomfortable and in a fucked up way he's happy about it. It sounds cocky, but the challenge is attractive to Spencer. You weren't trying to isolate yourself from other women, instead just making a general commentary on human beings. You were intelligent.

"How could you tell?,"

"You're too well practiced with expression and stuff. Too much attention to detail," you reply.

"You're entitled to whatever but be careful with yourself," you warn. Spencer just listens.

"Full disclosure, I studied criminology in college - so I'm familiar with your work," you say a little shy, Spencer raises his brows and assures it's fine before you continue.

"You do what you do at work because it catches them. You can hold onto a happy ending and that's important," you say softly "But, sleeping around is a personal cause with no heroes you know? The loneliness will always come back, and those mind games you play just to get rid of it will start to fracture you," you say thoughtfully. Spencer feels some tears prick at his eyes but he covers them before he looks at you.

"I don't sleep around much anymore, but when I do - I can't promise I'll leave my name and number. Old habits, you know? But I see myself in you, the way you move is something I definitely recall," you say laughing. Spencer feels so damn weird - confused as to how you're so perceptive.

"Sorry to read you like that, I just like you. You're interesting," you say, cute as ever. Spencer is unbelievably attracted to you.

"I'm a little speechless," Spencer says laughing.

"Sorry?,"

"Don't be, but you feel like a sign to me," Spencer says softly.

"The woman I.. you know - earlier, I don't even remember her name," Spencer admits a little sadly. You shake your head, reaching out to grab his hand to provide him some comfort. He finds himself holding on.

"You learn to face the loneliness, and sometimes it makes cool stuff like this happen," you say giggling.

"I wanna remember your name," Spencer admits. You give him a small smile.

"Even after I just came for you and this is only our first meeting?"

"Especially because of that,"

You laugh aloud and Spencer notes how lovely the sound is. You look at him, before taking another sip of your drink. You stand tall, patting down your skirt before walking away, Spencer stars dumbfounded for a few seconds before he hears your voice.

"You coming?" You ask. Spencer couldn't manage to bolt faster. _____

"Can I kiss you?," Is the first question Spencer asks you when you end up in your hotel room. You laugh, looking into his eyes as the two of you stand in front of the hotel door. You put your hands on Spencer's waist, making your way up to his chest.

"It's all I've been thinking about for the last few hours so," you say softly. Spencer grins at you, leaning his head down before placing his lips on yours, slowly parting them to catch a little bit more of you. Its slow at first but only then, slowly the speed of each kiss inbetween picks up. Spencer's tongue nips yours, hands running your sides as he touches you hesitant. The whole gesture is hesitant still, though the heat is coming close to just being too much. You use your teeth gently to hitch Spencer's bottom lip and the gestures welcomed.

You pull away from Spencer to look at him, looking into his eyes with an affectionate need.

"Hey, Spencer?,"

"Yes?,"

"If you don't fuck the shit out of me, I don't think I'll ever forgive you,"

Spencer grins, before you give him a shy smile. Spencer kisses you again, the two of you moving to the bed soon after. Spencer sits on the edge of the bed, while you straddle him. Spencer's hands grip your backside. You let out a noise of suprise but Spencer just smiles, leaning his face into your neck. His teeth graze your neck, placing small kisses on patches of it as you tilt it up to give him more room. He nips at the area, sucking small hickies into it. His fingers work their way to the zipper of your dress as you lean into him, your hands on the side of his face.

Your dress falls off your shoulders, as you move back to take it off. Spencer's eyes watch you as you move out of it - throat dry as he sees that you're not wearing a bra. Your nipples come to attention at the cool air in the room and Spencer's hands move to touch you before he can think about it. He brushes them carefully, back and forth sending pleasure shooting through you rather unexpected. You managed to sit on Spencer's lap again before he continues but you whine with displeasure.

His eyes flick to you with curiosity but you don't have to explain much, simply undoing his belt, urging him to unbutton his shirt by tugging at it. He can't help his laughter as he looks at you adoringly.

"Impatient," he reminds you. You give him that same innocent look from before you as you nod at him.

"For you? Always," you reply back. Spencer leans in to kiss you again before he lets you sit in the bed, watching him undress as he did for you only moments ago. You drink in the sight of his skin, the way his hard-on sits in his boxers, standing to attention. You can't stop looking at it, the feeling of lust creeping at your throat.

"Spencer, lay down," you urge softly. He gives you a look of question but does as told, walking to the other side of the bed and laying down as he's told. He catches wind of your plan soon after, watching you take your panties off and revealing arousal that's managed to slide down your thighs. His throat catches but his silent request is soon fulfilled as you place for knees on either side of Spencer's head and settle yourself over his tongue. Spencer's hands grip your thighs as he places a few soft kisses on them, before arching his neck to meet your clit with his tongue. He's patient, flattening his tongue against your clit before motioning it back and forth. The feeling is so sudden, pleasure ripping through you as you use your hips to grind onto to Spencer's tongue.

You lean down over Spencer's cock, spitting onto the head before your mouth wraps around the tip. You use your hands to steady yourself before you bob your head, hollowing your cheeks out which makes Spencer choke. He had figured you'd both be good in bed but it's starting to be clear that it was a lot more than that.

Spencer feels good - so fucking good because he was just so attracted to you and the feeling of your mouth around his dick was working him. Your thighs moved so confidently to grind onto his tongue, using his face for your pleasure while returning the favor, you were more than good. Spencer feels you in his chest, twitching in your mouth when his mind feels with all the possibilities of what else he could do. It wasn't enough to taste you - he would keep seeking out your pleasure until the thought of him never left your mind.

This position was really just a competition to see who could make the other unravel fastest. The feeling of satisfaction he recieved when he feels you pulsate around his tongue is unmatched - the sound of tone throat gagging as you moan out some version his name, cumming all over his face but not stopping your hips. Spencer can taste you everywhere and you taste as good as you look. He's unsure of how you've managed that but he's pleased. You ride your high before you life yourself off of his face, switching yourself to be positioned over his dick. You're more than ready to do that but Spencer's stops you, looking into your eyes as he sits up. You sit between his legs but he moves you up - positioning you to expose yourself too him. Easy access.

Spencer pushes his two middle fingers between your lips, which part for Spencer easily. Your tongue wraps around them, sucking them obediently and Spencer smiles at you. He pulls them out for you, sliding his thumb along your clit before slipping his fingers inside of you, curling them up inside of you. You lean, gripping onto Spencer's shoulder letting out whimpers next to his ear. He brushes against your gspot with ease, padding against it with rhythm. The feeling makes your legs shake, Spencer already close to bringing you to orgasm and despite his somewhat aching wrist makes sure the speed is consistent.

"Spencer, please - oh my god please," this is the first time you've addressed Spencer directly and it makes Spencer's whole body ache to fuck you.

"You're beautiful," Spencer breathes out. You pull away from his shoulders and put your hands on the side of his face, kissing him intensely as you looked into his expression. You're quick to cum a second time , convulsing around his hands a second time as you hold onto his back, fingernails digging in his skin as your whole body lights up in fireworks. Moans pour from your throat as you finish, riding out your high as Spencer slows

"Spencer," your voice is unsteady as you call out to him. He hums in response and you look at him, making eye contact.

"Would you like to go on a date sometime?," you breathe out. Spencer can't help the little giggles he lets out before nodding, kissing you softly.

"Seems like you've beat me to asking," Spencer says. You kiss Spencer once more, softly and slowly before smiling in his shoulder.

"Mm, fuck me," you say giggling. Spencer laughs before he repositions himself to penetrate you, pulling out a condom from the drawer and rolling it down his erection. He lines himself with your entrance, slowly but surely watching you sink down on his cock. He chokes as he feels you around him - tight and warm and wet, taking him so well. Spencer stretches you out better than you were expecting - a burning ache as Spencer pushes towards your cervix. He's buried in you, fingers holding you up for a second.

Spencer holds you up before laying you down, hands pinning yours above your head before pulling his hips back and pounding into you. Spencer voice groans out in your ear, his orgasm drawing him closer and closer to the edge.

You use your fingers to run out one final orgasm, convulsing around Spencer which makes his whole body ache.

"I'm gonna cum," Spencer announces.

"Cum in my mouth?," you offer Spencer. He groans aloud, pulling out and sliding the condom off before positioning himself over your face. You adjust yourself by lifting yourself up on your elbows, allowing Spencer to ease into the back of your throat. Spencer lets go as soon as he does, finish in your mouth where you swallow immediately, eyes glassy as you look up at Spencer. You give him a smile, opening your mouth to show that it's all swallow, before laying back down again exhausted.

"Jesus Christ, Spencer" you say softly. He gives you a small smile.

"You should get some rest," Spencer says softly. You roll your eyes, sitting back up before leaning your head on Spencer's shoulder.

"Mm if I did that, would you be here when I woke up? Nice try, lover boy," you say. Spencer laughs, voice soft as the sun starts to rise outside.

"I'm gonna shower, and since neither of us are sleeping - you can take me to breakfast," you say, standing up and giving Spencer a kiss atop his head.

"Disappear on me and I'll book a ticket all the way to Quantico and embarrass you infront of your whole team," you say jokingly. Spencer hugs your waist as you stand and you can't help the way it melts you.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Spencer replies back. You use your hands to make him look st you and smile at him.

"Good. I'd invite you to come shower with me but I'm gonna guess you need clothes so - meet me downstairs in the lobby in like 30 mins," you instruct. Spencer just nods.

"I need your number," Spencer asks. You look into the drawer and lean down, writing your number on his chest. He looks down at it and smiles. He can see himself in the mirror, noticing you wrote it backwards so he could see it. God, Spencer is into you.

"I'm sure it'll wash off," you say smiling. Spencer rolls his eyes, the hickies you managed to bite into his skin making irony very clear. You give him a cheeky look and he can't help but laugh.

"Y/N," Spencer says to himself. You look at him confused and he just shakes his head.

"You're too fascinating to forget," Spencer says smiling. You can't help but grin, leaning down to kiss him.

"So are you, Dr. Spencer Reid,"

____

taglist: @cynbx @zephyr-studiesjp @skrrrrrrrrrrt @reid-187 @louistwinslover @pastanest @nomajdetective @iamburdened

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #Criminal Minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n

523 notes · View notes

dwinparry · 3 years ago

Text

I couldn’t wake up today. Last night I talked to an old coworker (she isn’t old, just from an old job) about mental health and how we struggle. She has Bipolar disorder and is on some pretty serious medication. I’m schizophrenic and am also on some serious meds.

I slept till 11:30am after going to bed at midnight. But who knows how long I laid awake just waiting for morning to come. I never sleep through the night either. 4am I usually wake up and go to the bathroom, get a cup of water, then lay back down. Finally I fell back asleep.

I just couldn’t get up. I felt so tired. I’m generally in bed for 13+ hours. Go to bed at 8pm and wake up at 9 or 10am. I think it’s the meds I’m on. Plus when I’m in bed it’s the only time when I feel truly relaxed. So I try to soak it up as much as possible.

I finally got up and my first need was chewing tobacco. So I got in the Ford Ecosport I just bought and headed south towards Turkey Hill. They always have my Copenhagen Wintergreen Long Cut. When I got there I decided I was hungry and bought a hamburger. I took a little ketchup packet (shoulda grabbed two), a mayonnaise packet and a relish packet. I went to the register and paid for my stuff. $13 total. Chewing tobacco is way expensive these days.

I ate the hamburger in the parking lot. It was dry like the Sahara desert. Thank goodness for mayonnaise. “How fat am I?” I thought. “Having a hamburger for breakfast? Eddie, you are slipping.” I didn’t eat all of it. I left two bites, crumpled it up in the aluminum foil wrapper and threw it in the trash can. No regrets.

Then I put my first chew of the day in. Ahhh, the glorious tobacco hit my gum and the cloud around my brain was suddenly lifted. Addiction at its finest. I started the car and headed home.

When I got home I laid on the back porch swing as I normally do, looking out over the backyard. It’s beautiful. There are 4 gardens, a raspberry patch, and trees-a-plenty. Not to mention birds and rabbits leisurely walking around.

I started singing. Not in a normal voice. In a Kermit the frog kind of voice. It made me laugh. So I kept thinking of songs. Country Roads, Pearl Jam, little boxes…it all made me laugh. I decided to send a recording on Snapchat to my cousin. Who is also easily entertained. She thought it was hilarious. I’m glad I could bring a smile to someone’s face today.

She responded with pictures of her own. A few years back something stung her upper lip and it swelled to four times the regular size. It may sound bad, but in our family we generally laugh at things that aren’t deadly. The pictures are hilarious.

I cracked up. Home alone on the porch swing I started laughing like I just heard the funniest joke ever. It’s been a week since I’ve laughed like that.

When you have schizophrenia those little moments of joy are cherished even more. Generally I don’t show much emotion. Either the disorder or the meds keep me relatively flat. Although I’m luckier than most. Some people with schizophrenia have 0 enjoyment. I still smile when my parents or someone around me makes a joke. Which is huge for me. I’ve always been happy go lucky. Always a jokester. Always laughing. So my personality is still somewhat in tact.

I’m just thankful to have my cousins group text message as a support. I have been on disability and unable to work since I’ve been diagnosed with schizophrenia. So being able to talk to someone throughout the day is a huge benefit. So to anyone out there who knows someone who struggles with mental illness. A simple ,”Hi. How are you?” is a breath of fresh air. Knowing someone cares can make the difference between a good day and a bad day. Cause Lord knows we all have them.

#schizophrenia #mental health #anxious

1 note · View note

farfromtommy · 5 years ago

Text

the rest of our lives //chris evans x reader

A/N: wrote this bc I couldn't sleep. its almost 4am and im tired but felt like writing some cute shit tonight. I love this so much and sorry if it doesn't make sense and for the mistakes but I LOVE IT. pls give it some love .

Summary: chris and y/n visit her childhood home and tell her parents about their plans for the future

Warnings: angst, FLUFFFFFFFFFFFF, language I think, age gap but its not gross (chris 38, reader 22)

Word Count: 3,780

masterlist

With one final zip of your suitcase you were ready for your trip. You and your boyfriend of 2 years, Chris, were taking a couple days off to spend time with your parents. You hadn’t seen them since your college graduation and they had been bugging you for months for you and Chris to spend some time in your hometown.

You were currently living in Boston and had completely expected that you weren’t going back home following your completion of university. Your life was in Boston. Although you missed your parents and your sister, you were so ready to start this new chapter of your life and be able to make it your own.

You and Chris had been looking for a house together since you decided to stay in Boston with him. Your relationship was headed in a good direction and both of you were 100% in it for the long run. You wanted to wait till after you graduated to move in together, not wanting to worry about anything besides school. Chris had his realtor on the phone the minute your grades for your last semester had been finalized and everything was approved for graduation.

When you sat down with him and both said what you were looking for in a house, the topic of kids came up. You knew Chris wanted a family, and you did too. You had both agreed to bring the conversation up again after some time in the house together. You were secretly hoping he was planning on proposing to you soon. You’ve been dropping major hints at him through your Pinterest board ever since you started having serious conversations about your future with each other. You were ready for it all. You wanted to marry Chris and fill your beautiful new home with a bunch of kids.

You were also slowly convincing him to get Dodger a friend since both of you were always working, and you wanted to make sure he was never lonely when you were at work.

Your amazing realtor had found a beautiful house right outside of Boston that had everything you were both looking for. You were just waiting for the final pieces of paperwork to come in and finally be able to call the house yours.

Your lease on your apartment was up last month and had been staying at Chris’s place. All of the big things you didn’t sell from your place were in storage and everything else was with you.

When you had mentioned to your sister that you and Chris were days away from closing on your new home, she had asked how your parents felt about everything.

“They know our relationship is serious. They met him at graduation and had known about him well before that. Mom even talked about us having a fall wedding here, since the weather would be perfect. I haven’t told them about the house since we’ve known about this trip since everything with the house started. I want to tell them in person, so don’t mention anything to them.” You huffed.

“I talked to mom the other day and she thinks that you made a mistake staying there to be with Chris. She doesn’t think your relationship is going to last, since he’s so much older than you. Hell, that’s what everyone thinks. She’s just worried, I think.” She expressed.

“I’ve been hearing all of that for the past 2 years from everyone I know, especially from mom. Nobody knows our relationship better than we do. We both want the same things and are happy being together. So what if he’s older than me? Dad is way older than mom and no one questions the integrity of their relationship, why does everyone have to question mine?” I said back.

“I know. I know you keep hearing this, and I’m sorry. I’m really happy for you, Y/N. I really am. Buying a house together is a big deal and I’m glad you’re ready to do that with him. You have everything so figured out and people are just jealous. I mean, you have the hottest dude in Hollywood in your bed every night. Who wouldn’t be jealous of that?” She chuckled.

“Anyway, we’ll talk more when you get here! I’m so excited to see you. Call me when you land and I’ll meet you at home. Love you!! See you tomorrow.” The line clicked and you threw your phone onto your bed. You let out a deep sigh and moved your suitcase off of the bed so you could collapse.

You were slowly dozing off when you had heard Dodger starting to bark, alerting you that Chris was home. He had been doing some small indie films in Boston, not wanting to get back into major productions until you were settled in your new house. You picked yourself off your bed and walked into the living room, seeing Chris toe off his shoes and place his things down. He greeted Dodger and walked over to you, mumbling a quick hi and placed a quick kiss onto your lips.

“Hi my love, how was your day?” He asked as he walked into the kitchen. You took a seat on the barstool facing the kitchen, and watched as Chris started to look around for something to snack on.

“It was pretty good. Work was how it usually is. I came home early and got all my packing done for the trip and just cleaned a little bit around the house. I left some things you might want to pack out on the bed just incase. How was yours? Anything exciting happen on set?” You asked, leaning back on your chair.

“Wrapped up everything I needed to do so I could relax and enjoy the next couple of days without worrying about needing to get back to set.” He took a beer out of the fridge and leaned against the counter and took a drink from the bottle. “How are you feeling about seeing your parents and telling them about the house? You haven’t really said much about it.” He took another sip and walked closer to you.

He sat in the chair next to you and just looked at you, waiting for your response. You thought for a moment, collecting your thoughts before giving him an honest answer. You sighed and thought about the conversation you had with your sister.

“I’m excited to tell time, but really nervous. I talked to my sister earlier and she had told me that my mom has been having doubts about us and was just worried that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into and blah blah blah. But I’m ready to set everything straight and tell her that she can’t doubt us anymore. It’s important to us that we do this and she needs to be on board with that. I know she’ll be happy for us, but you know how she gets. I think dad will be happy for us. He really like you, y’know. Tells me all the time that I need to fly him up here so you two can go to a Pats game. Poor guy had a house full of women his entire life and now he finally has the son he always wanted.” You rambled slightly.

“Everything is gonna a work out, don’t be nervous. It’s 4 days with your parents and then we close on the house when we get back and should be moved in by the end of the next month. I know how important your family is to you and how much it means to to get their support on this, but you have so many other people who support you. You’re basically and Evans now and you have all of them standing behind us, cheering us on. Don’t worry too much on what might happen with them, but think about what’s happening with us now. Our life together is finally getting started.” He grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it before pulling you off the chair and moving you closer to him. You stood between his legs and wrapped your arms around him. His comment about you being an Evans filled your stomach with butterflies but you didn’t think much into it.

For the rest of the night you just sat on the couch watching movies and eating random snacks you had in the pantry, not bothering to cook something for dinner. You snuggled up next to Chris and Dodger was next to you as you stayed in the living room well into the night. You had fallen asleep on the couch and next thing you knew, you were being placed on your side of the bed and tucked in gently.

Chris placed a kiss on your forehead and moved some of your Y/H/C hair out of your face. You sleepily smiled at him before turning to your side and let sleep consume you. You heard shuffling around the room, assuming Chris was finishing any packing he had left. You woke when you felt the bed dip beside you and your were wrapped in a pair of strong arms. You moved closer to Chris and let sleep take over you once again.

It was late afternoon and you and Chris had landed safely in your hometown. You were driving down the street that was still so familiar to you. You saw your parent’s house come into full view as you instinctually turned a corner. You drew in a sharp breath as you put your rental car in park and stared up at your childhood home. You had spent so many years of your life here and it was so weird not seeing it as your home anymore. You looked over at Chris and he grabbed your hand and squeezed it. He grabbed some of his things and opened the car door and stepped out.

You walked up to the front door hand in hand and raised your hand up to ring the doorbell. Not even 5 seconds later your mom had answered the door and immediately wrapped you in a hug. She grabbed your shoulders and looked at you with joy. She brought you in for another hug before giving one to Chris.

“It’s good to see you again, Chris! How have things been going for you?” Your mom questioned, moving out of the way so you could walk inside.

“Everything has been going great, thank you! How have you and Y/D/N been?” Chris asked, looking at the beautiful house he walked into. He had never seen this place in person, just in pictures you had and through a phone whenever he was around when you video called your parents.

It was so elegantly decorated. Family photos littered the walls, he could pick you out of all of them. One of the things he had hoped he’d get a chance to see were photos from your childhood. You have been through every photo album the Evans family had created, thanks to his mom. You knew he was looking forward to those, so you had made sure your mom pulled them out of storage for him.

“Same old same old. We’ve been really looking forward to you guys coming to visit us. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve made Y/D/N clean this house over the past week. Had to make sure everything was in tip top shape for your first visit.” She winked at Chris and looked back at you. You plopped down on the couch, exhausted from your hectic day.

“Thank you, Y/M/N. It’s really a beautiful house.” Chris said as he sat down next to you on the couch, putting his arm across the back of it. She nodded at him and went to go find your dad. You leaned into Chris’s side and he put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. He placed a kiss on the top of your head before continuing to take in his surroundings.

“Don’t fall asleep before giving your old man a hug!” Your dads voice said as he walked into the living room. You and Chris both stood up and you ran into your dads arms. You loved both of your parents, but you were always closer to your dad. He gave you a big hug, picking you up off the ground slightly and placed a kiss on your cheek. Chris walked up to him and extended his hand for a handshake once you were done greeting your dad.

“It’s great to see you! Glad you guys could take the time to make it out here.” Your dad said, shaking Chris’s hand and pulling him in for a “bro” hug.

“Me too. I’m excited to finally be here. I’ve heard a lot of stories and seen a lot of pictures of Y/N growing up here.” Chris said as everyone took a seat in the living room, the two of you going back to your original spots.

You all sat around the living room talking for a while, just catching up on everything that had been happening in your lives. Your dad and Chris started to get into sports talk and your mom motioned for you to go with her to the kitchen. You stood up from your spot, excusing yourself from the conversation you were no longer interested in and followed your mom. She poured you glass of wine, and then one for herself and told you to take it to the back porch while she got something for your dad and Chris. You sat down on one of the chairs and got comfortable, your mom joining you a few minutes later.

“So, how are things in Boston with Chris? We haven’t really talked much about it. After graduation we thought you were going to come back, and then you stayed and we were all kinda confused.” Your mom said taking a sip from her glass.

“Things are really great between us right now. Chris has been spending most of his time in Boston doing some small projects so I see him basically everyday. Work has been going super well, I’m loving every second of it. I know you guys were really disappointed when I didn’t come back, but my life is in Boston now. Chris is there and all my frien-“ You were saying before your mom cut you off.

“So Chris is your life now? Chris and work? What happened to family first? You were supposed to come home and help us out. We thought you were going to find your own place here and find a job and be able to be here for us. We were there for you all your life.” She criticized.

“Mom, I’m 22 years old. Don’t you think I’m old enough to start building my own life? Chris and I are building our future together and I couldn’t just leave and continue doing that from here. I wasn’t going to make him uproot his life up to follow me here just because you wanted me to. I’m sorry that you don’t agree with my decisions but I think I’m allowed to decide what I think is best for me.” You said back to her. She rolled her eyes at your response. Before she could say anything back your sister opened the door excitedly greeting you. You were relieved she was finally here to pull you out of the conversation that had taken a turn south between you and your mom.

You had gone inside with your sister and saw that she brought dinner for everyone. You went over to Chris and asked him to help you get your bags out of the car before you sat down for dinner. He had noticed your change in mood and quickly followed you outside. You quickly ranted to him about what your mom had said and blew off some steam before heading back inside with your things. Chris followed you up to your childhood bedroom, where you two would be staying for the next few nights. It was still the way you had left it. Pictures of your high school friends scattered around the walls, and posters of things you loved when you were in high school. Chris chuckled at some of them and you two headed back to the dining room.

Dinner had been going well, despite your moms discreet bashes at your life choices, you ignored them and continued to enjoy the rest of the meal. As everyone was finishing, you decided it was as good a time as any to bring up the big news.

“So mom and dad, you guys don’t know this but Chris and I have been talking a lot the past couple months about our future and where we see it going. Things between us have been getting serious for a long time, but we just put off pulling the trigger on anything until I finished school and found a good job. Now that I am done with school and found a really amazing job, we decided that it was time to start settling down and getting ready for the rest of our lives together. With that being said, when we get back home, we are closing on a beautiful house that we found. We bought a house and we’ll be moved into it by the end of next month.” You said looking to your parents, hoping to be able to read their expressions. Your sister had a smile on her face, already knowing the news.

Chris grabbed your hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. You shot him a small smile and looked back at your parents. Your mom had an unreadable expression. She seemed to be going through a lot of things in her mind as she processed everything you had just said. You looked at your dad, hoping to get a better reaction from him. He stood up from his chair and walked over to the space between you and Chris, and gave you two the most bone crushing hug possible. He whispered a few words of encouragement to you two before letting go and going back to his seat.

“I’m so happy for you two. This is such a big step in any relationship and it can be really tricky. You seem to be handling it with grace and I’m really proud of you two. I’m sure you have searched high and low for the perfect home for you two, and I already know its going to be beautiful. I hope that once you are all moved in and settled and are ready for guests, you invite us to spend a couple days up there with you. All I ask is that you make sure the Pats are playing so Chris here can show me how you New Englanders party when they play.” Your dad said, looking at your and Chris with such love and admiration. “Not to push or anything, but I hope this house has some extra bedrooms ready for kids whenever you decide you’re ready for them.” He added.

You chuckled at your dads comment and wiped some tears that fell from your eyes. “Yes, dad, there are plenty of bedrooms for kids. One of the things on our list was it needed to be family friendly. When you see it, you’ll see how perfect it is for a family. But we’re taking it one step at a time and we’ll talk about kids again when we’re ready.” You assured him. He mumbled good and looked over at your mom, who had been silent the entire time. She looked at you when she realized that all eyes were on her. “Mom, are you going to say something to them?” You’re sister chimed in.

“I didn’t know you guys were really this serious about each other.” She responded.

“Well after 2 years together I would hope we were serious about being together.” You smirked.

“I’m sorry for the shit I was giving you earlier, I was just so scared that you were throwing your life away for some guy you were dating. If I had know the depth of it, I wouldn’t have been so harsh. I should’ve listened to you, Y/N. I was just worried about you and worried that he was going to leave you broken and battered. I’m sorry for not giving you more faith, Chris.” She admitted. You and your mom had both stood up and gave each other a long hug. This was the first time in a long time where your mom had been so genuinely happy for you. There was a big family hug, with Chris included. You joked that he was basically a Y/L/N, referring to the joke he had made to you yesterday.

“Well I do hope that buying a house together means that a wedding is in sight.” Your mom had whispered in your ear. You shot her a look of ‘ I know right?! ‘ and you gave her another hug. Chris winked at you from across the room when you made eye contact. You send him a loving look and mouthed ‘I love you’ to him. He returned the look and mouthed ‘I love you too’ back. You felt butterflies in your stomach and your cheeks heat up.

You had gotten ready for bed before Chris had and was all tucked in and ready to sleep by the time he came up to your room. He had stayed downstairs and helped your parents clean up from dinner while you showered and started to unwind. He saw your body on the bed and assumed you had already fallen asleep. You stared at him as he undressed in front of you and admired his amazing body. He caught you staring and shot you a suggestive look as he turned the lights off and went back to get into bed with you.

“We’re not defiling my childhood room by having sex in here. Plus my mom finally came around to our relationship and my dad probably loves you more than I do, so we can’t risk them hearing us.” You whispered as he pressed his body against yours. Your back was pressed against his bare chest and you gripped his forearms as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You turned your head towards him and pressed a kiss onto his lips. He mumbled ‘I love you so much’ between kisses.

The love that was flowing between your bodies that night was unreal. You spent all night in his arms, exactly where you belonged.

647 notes · View notes

fluffymcu · 5 years ago

Text

College drop-out? I think not (Steve x reader)

@writersonicfan91

Request: Here’s an idea for you: Steve x Reader. The reader is in college and is worried about failing a class/exam. Steve does everything to help cheer her up.

Another sleepless night, sitting with your legs crossed on your bed at 2am, racing to get an assignment done with the due date at 4am tonight. You were almost done, you just needed about 8 more pages to type. You sighed while rubbing your eyes for the hundredth time and yawned.

“Why do I leave this stuff till the last minute?” You mumbled to yourself. Steve was an early riser and automatically woke up every morning at 4. But tonight he had to get a glass of water so on his way to the kitchen, he noticed a faint light coming from your room. He decided to take a peek to see what was going on and his eyes softened as he saw your exhausted form, almost falling asleep while typing.

“Hey, n/n.” He stepped further into your room and went to stay in front of you. You had been so focused on your work you still hadn’t noticed him enter until he lightly shook your shoulder.

“Oh! Hey.” You sighed and put the laptop to the side. Steve say by you on the bed and lovingly rubbed your back.

“You Okay? You look exhausted.” You sighed and covered your face with your hands.

“I am. I don’t know if I can keep this up, Steve. I’m just so tired of this. I get no rest, I’m always sacrificing my time for this, and I can’t even pass the classes anyway. What’s the point?” You complained.

Steve sighed and pulled you closer. “I know it can be tiring most times, and the classes can be hard to pass. But, you’re surviving. That’s the important thing. But remember, you’re the one who wanted to go to this school so bad.” He smirked.

“I know. You don’t have to remind me.” You groaned, making him chuckle. “I just didn’t know it would be this hard. I should just give myself a break and just drop out. I’ve given this enough of my time.”

Steve leaned back to look at you. “Now, although I agree with you giving yourself a break, and getting that it’s difficult, but I’m not too fond of you dropping out of school y/n. You’ve gotta finish strong.”

You groaned. “But Steve, it would be so much less stressful, and I’d be able to devote my time to more important things.” You pleaded. You knew it was a dead end but it didn’t hurt to try.

“Now, you know what my point of view on those things are y/n. We don’t drop out of school, or skip classes, or do whatever rebellious things maybe others are doing. You know that. But I do encourage you to stop stressing so much over school. Just give it your best. And if the best you can do is a 65 then accept it. There’s nothing you can do because you have it your best. But if you didn’t, then there’s a reason to be upset about it because you could’ve done better.” You sighed and looked down. “Okay?” He asked.

You slightly nodded, barely visible to him. “Oh, boy. Are you upset cause you’re not gettin your way again?” He teased. Steve has known you since you were 8 years old and since then you would always get salty when you didn’t get your way. Steve expected you to grow out of it eventually but it’s still going on strong as one of your biggest personalities. You shrugged and sighed again, making Steve chuckle. “Well, I suggest you change your attitude before things get crazy in here.” He mused, trying to make you laugh.

“What do you mean.” You mumbled. Steve shuffled closer to you.

“Well, remember what I used to do to you when you got punky?” He poked your side as a reminder and your eyes widened.

“No. Steve, no.” You stood up from your place on the bed.

Steve’s smirk widened. “Steve, yes!” He grabbed your arm and pulled you into a tight bear hug and launched his attack, zeroing in on your ribs first.

“Ahahahaha! Steheheheve! Yohohou know I hahahahate thahat!” Steve ignored you and blew a raspberry on the crook of your neck, making you melt into giggles. “stohohohohop!”

Steve squeezed around your sides and hips having to pin you down from all the bucking you were doing. “Stop being a brat then and maybe I’ll let you go.” He teased.

“I’m nohohot a brahahat!” You sunk down to the floor hoping he would leave you there but he only followed you down.

“It’s not gonna be that easy to get away n/n. You still need to get out of that mood you’re in.” He lifted your shirt and scribbled his fingers on your belly. Every time you’d try to grab his hands, he’d dodge them and find another spot on your belly to torture.

“Hahahahaha stohohohop ihihit!” You wanted to try something but you didn’t know if it was gonna work. But if it did, maybe the odds would be in your favor. You reached out to scribble your fingers on his sides and sighed of relief when he flinched back. However, the look he gave you made your stomach drop.

“Oh, you wanna play dirty now?” He chortled. You immediately started begging and pleading but he wasn’t having any of it. He bent down and blew a big, fat, slobbery raspberry right under your belly button. The scream you let out was unnatural and faded into silent laughter. He blew 2 more raspberries on your side and below your ribs and finally sat back to observe the puddle of giggly mush he made you. “So, are you done being bratty?” He started poking at your ribs for persuasion.

You arched your back and nodded frantically. “YEHEHES! Ihihihim sohorry. Really sorry.” You giggled. Steve pinched your belly once more and finally got off of you.

You rolled to your side to catch your breath better. “That was so unfair. I wasn’t even being that bratty.” You glared at him.

Steve chuckled and carried you to place you on the bed. “I know. I just needed a reason to cheer you up quickly.” He rubbed your back affectionately.

“Thanks Stevie. As much as I hate to admit it, I do feel better.” You smirked.

“I’m glad,” he chuckled. “Now get some rest. Leave this there,” he said, taking your laptop and putting it on the table. “And sleep. You deserve it. And tomorrow I’ll see if I can find a nice ice cream place we could go to. You’d like that?” You nodded and settled into bed.

“Yeah. Goodnight Steve.” He got up and kissed your forehead.

“Goodnight.” He left and closed the door, getting a glass of water and going back to bed himself.

#ticklish!reader #tickle fluff #tickle prompts #tickle fight #ticklish #ticklish marvel #marvel tickle #marvel mcu #marvel #avengers #captain america #steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #captain america x reader #avengers tickle

100 notes · View notes

cptnsantiago · 5 years ago

Text

take me home

2/?

~ all i want for christmas is your name

read on ao3

Everyone expects baby Peralta-Santiago to arrive early. It’s a Santiago child, they’re all early. Amy had expected, or hoped, that early meant after Christmas but before the new year. That’s not the case.

She instead decides to begin her journey into the world on the coldest night of the year, only four days from Christmas. Amy feels the first contractions at 4am, after spending the whole night attempting to find a comfortable position. All the while Jake snores next to her, taunting her.

She can’t bring herself to be genuinely angry at him - not yet. Jake had been nothing but supportive and excited for their baby, he had been since they decided to start trying. They were having a girl. It had shocked everyone but Amy and she had been three hundred dollars richer for it. He had cried with her at the ultrasound when they found out were having a girl. Jake also stayed up late with her, gave her massages at her demand, provided her with every craving she had. He may not be carrying a 10-pound human (maybe an exaggeration, Amy couldn’t tell) inside him, but he deserved his rest as much as she did.

So she lets him sleep until the contractions are close enough to worry, but it doesn’t take long until they hurt bad enough to dig her nails into his arm. “Ames?”

“B-baby.” Amy winces again before sucking in a deep breath as the contraction slowly subsides.

“Is something wrong?” Amy shakes her head, “Is… Is she coming, Ames? Was that a contraction?”

“Yep.” Amy laughs, finally smiling at Jake’s concerned features. “Nine days early, she’s really outdoing the rest of the Santiago’s.”

“David couldn’t beat you at this if he tried .” Jake encourages with a teasing grin. “We’re having our baby?”

“We’re having our baby.” Amy cries happily, shifting closer to him so he can wrap his arms around her, “I love you.”

The next 15 hours are a blur. Jake is a lot calmer than she expected - not like in every movie or TV show ever where the dad freaks out and faints at the sight of anything gooey - but he stays calm, he guides her through her breathing exercises and offers physical support when she needs it. Jake gets the nurse to back off when she congratulates them on a Christmas baby, because he knew how stressed she was about the dessert she definitely wasn’t bringing for Christmas. He’s really the perfect partner.

Amy remembers the days of feelings simmering just under the surface and thinking to herself, Jake is way too immature. It would never work . Before Jake, Amy thought that being right was everything. Against David, Amy always had to be right and could never lose an argument without lowkey being the end of the world for her. She had never liked being wrong, but she wears this misconception with a badge of pride because there is no one else Amy could imagine or want to do all this with.

Jake Peralta was her person. And they had a baby girl together.

A baby girl born at 7:37pm on December 21st. Seven pounds, twenty inches. A baby girl whom they keep calling Baby Girl Peralta-Santiago because she had been cursed with decisive cops as parents who were apparently indecisive in every other way.

It’s not really at the top of their priorities - they’re busting adoring every inch of her wriggling in her mother’s arms. Amy traces with her finger the dark hair that peaks from under her hospital issued beanie, over her eyebrows and past her blinking and confused eyes down to her cheeks, nose, lips and chin. “She’s actually your twin, you’re just born many years apart. This is a scientific discovery, babe!”

Amy rolls her eyes at his quiet enthusiasm, her fingers moving back to stroke their daughters cheeks. “Santiago’s just have strong genes.”

“That’s why you’re all so gorgeous of course. Thanks Victor and Camila!” Jake slides closer behind Amy so she can rest her head against him, and both of them are able to watch their daughter attempt to focus on something. “What’s your name, mija?”

The post baby hormones are almost more of a bitch than her pregnancy, so she has to take a moment to pull herself together at Jake saying mija to their daughter . “Por favor, no te pongas de acuerdo con Naomi. He just wants to name you after Nakatomi plaza and we have to stick together so he can’t trick us!”

“Oh please , Ames. You were the one trying to name her Hermione.” Jake scoffs, “She’s gonna end up being Baby Girl forever. We can’t even make that work! People will think we’re trying to copy Friends!”

“Her name is definitely not baby girl. We’re going to figure it out, let’s just enjoy her and fall asleep.”

They leave the hospital without a name. The nurse informs them that they have two weeks to decide and get the paperwork in. But the time restriction somehow stresses her out more than picking the perfect name, combined with Christmas being in two days and not having any presents or an outfit for her to wear.

Jake holds her hand the whole time she rants, just as he always did, his eyes shifting occasionally to the tiny newborn sleeping in the bassinet next to their bed. “Ames, take a deep breath. I’m almost certain she’ll forgive us if she doesn’t have any presents at four days old, and Charles already told me he found four potential Christmas outfits.”

“What would I do without Charles?” Amy sighs happily, turning to run a hand through Jake’s sleepy curls. “What would I do without you?”

Jake leans forward so their foreheads were touching, both leaning into the quiet moment with only their breathing and tiny baby snores and grunts in the background. He kisses the side of her mouth, his heart warming as a small but tired smile creeps on her face. “We should probably sleep while she’s sleeping.”

“I still have so much to prepare.” Amy whines, her head falling down to his shoulder.

“Just a little nap, Ames. I’m sure she’ll be screaming at us soon enough for the boob.”

It’s a lot of the same for them. Sleep, feed baby girl with no name, change diaper, attempt to think about Christmas, sleep more, eat when Charles comes over with food, brainstorm baby names, and sometimes even more sleep.

A tradition of their own since they had moved in together was to stay in on Christmas Eve, watching Harry Potter and stay up till midnight so they could open each other’s presents - it was a little harder this year. Jake was holding a milk drunk, almost four day old baby in one arm while his other was wrapped around his half asleep wife, trying himself not to fall asleep while Harry fought off Voldemort for the first time.

Even when he wasn’t nodding off himself, his eyes were usually on the baby in his arms. Charles had gone all out in the baby Christmas outfit department. She had on a thick red headband with a bow on the side, snowflakes printed all over with matching pants, a onesie that read ‘My 1st Christmas!’ and a knitted cardigan over the top to keep her warm. Jake was afraid of the parents he and Amy were becoming, because they both loved it. She looked so cheesy but it was the cutest thing in the world, and they even did their own mini photoshoot before she started screaming to be fed.

So here Jake was, surrounded by his family - a milk drunk baby and his wife fast asleep on his shoulder. The baby in his arm begins to squirm, grunting and opening her eyes. “Cómo te llamas, mija?” Jake’s heart warms as she meets his eyes, “Angelica? Eliza? Peggy? Or no Schyler sister names?”

“Absolutely not.” Amy mumbles next to him, eyes still closed.

“Eliza isn’t a bad name.” Jake replies with a frown.

Amy opens her eyes, stretching and looking at their baby. “She doesn’t look like an Eliza.”

At that, she grunts and her face contorts in a grimace.

“Gotcha, no Eliza.” Jake snorts, both him and Amy watched in amazement as she continues to grimace before closing her eyes again and smiling. “Ames! She smiled, definitely not Eliza! She must have hated Eliza.”

“That, or she passed gas.” Amy giggles, pinching her nose. “Hey, look at the time.”

“Midnight! Happy Christmas!” Jake whispers, stroking her cheek lightly before turning to peck Amy on the lips. “Merry Christmas, I love you.”

“Merry Christmas…” Amy sighs happily, closing her eyes again for a moment. “Already four days old and she’s about to face the most chaotic day of the year.”

“We can just skip it?” Jake questions, his voice squeaking as he tries to believe his own words. “I know it’s crazy, but who expects us to go out with a four day old for more than half an hour?”

“My parents is who.” She shakes her head, “Maybe we can be late?”

“Wow you are sleep deprived.” Jake laughs softly, “What if we’re late and we leave early?”

“You’re talking crazy talk now!” Amy snorts, biting her lip as to not disturb the sleeping baby. “I’m getting sick of calling her baby girl, seriously.”

Jake nods in agreement and they fall into a peaceful silence, with only the sounds of the city and Harry Potter in the background. She never thought it would be this impossible to choose a name for their baby. The baby wrapped up in Jake’s arms was too perfect to have their name rushed.

The time they spent trying , and waiting for results and keeping it a secret from Boyle - it all lead to this moment. Not so much her being born, even though that was a huge deal, but being given her name. She had to live with it for whole life (unless she wanted to change it - they had both been very adamant in supporting this potential for their daughters future). Maybe they were overthinking it, and the fact that they’ve had a combined thirteen hours sleep in the last two days wasn’t helping them make a choice.

“Maybe we should revisit some names?” Jake offers, and Amy’s certain he’s read her mind.

“Okay, yeah. Good idea.” Amy agrees, “But no Naomi.”

“Yeah! I get it! Naomi’s out of the picture!” Jake tips his head back in laughter, which wakes the infant in his arms. They’re lucky she doesn’t cry, but just stares up at her father again. “Good you’re awake, we need your help.”

“Now should we go over the suggestions from the squad?” Amy looks to her phone, which has an extensive list.

“I mean, Rosa’s suggestion is Kid and Charles insists on Charlotte, so no?” Jake shifts the baby so she’s resting on his bent knees. This way she’s able to attempt to look at the both of them while fighting off sleep again. “I think I have an idea…”

“Do tell.” Amy’s not looking at him but looping her pointer finger so she can grip tightly onto it.

“So I thought Luna-”

“Jake we agreed no character names!” Amy groans, pouting up at him.

“I know but hear me out, Ames. I’ve thought about this.” Jake’s eyes begin to shimmer, either from tiredness or pure affection, she can’t tell but she knows he’s sincere. “So I thought Luna Rey, for a few reasons. So first, they both have a meaning in Spanish, right?”

“Moon King?” Amy snorts, “That barely makes sense.”

“Ah, but they have meaning. Rey has more of a meaning of Captain Holt to me, and he’s your mentor and best friend after- nevermind he’s your best friend. But also Captain Holt is basically king of the precinct, so it totally works.” Amy can’t really fight that, so she nods and waits for him to continue. “ And Luna, because, well you probably don’t remember because you were deliriously tired but there was a full moon the night she was born. And I stood with her in my arms by the window and just thought about how beautiful they both were. Our baby, and the moon - except she’s prettier. So Spanish meaning, boom!

Okay... So, uh, reason one was basically all my reasons meshed together, and I’m too tired to put up a proper argument for you right now however , my final statement. Luna Rey Santiago-Peralta, has both personal and cultural meaning while also happening to be named after two badass characters that we both love. Rey and Luna Lovegood. Debate over.”

Amy’s lack of sleep is the only reason she’s unable to keep the tears at bay as she laughs at her husband. The first time she had heard the name Luna, she had been so vehemently against it but now after hearing Jake’s case, she can’t remember those protests.

“Luna? Es ese es tu nombre?” Amy whispers, her heart expanding five sizes as she says it out loud. She doesn’t react like the last time, but she does attempt to pull Amy’s finger into her mouth. “Luna Rey Santiago-Peralta.”

“We’d like to formally apologise for giving you too long of a name.” Jake chuckes, “Do you really like it?”

“Yes, I do.” Amy sniffles, smiling at him brightly. “I’ve really turned you into a debate genius.”

“Only for Luna. It’s what she deserves.” Jake teases with a kiss to Amy’s nose before his eyes drift back to Luna. “It’s really her first Christmas, I’m too tired to process any of this.”

“Happy Christmas, Luna.”

“The happiest of Christmases, to both of you.”

#my fics #b99 fanfiction #peraltiago #peraltiago fic #jake x amy fic #brooklyn nine-nine

27 notes · View notes

urlocalkpoptrash · 6 years ago

Text

Barely Human| Kim Namjoon.

Kim Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst.

Warning: None?

Concept: Worn out and frustrated, namjoon finds himself trusting a bartender he just met, getting himself into a little bit of a pickle.

A/N: This took me so long to write, and I’m proud of it. I will add the ‘read more’ option when I get on my laptop later.

- - - -

“I’ll take another shot,” Namjoon tossed his glass across the bar, the single bartender catching it in the curve of his hand.

“Rough night?” The man asked, lifting a brow.

“Hah, you could say that,” He grumbled, rubbing his face.

It was the last night in America. They had been on a press tour, discussing their upcoming album, and how it tied into the rest of their concept. It had been amazing with all the place they had gotten to see, and the American ARMY’s that they would have never met, if it hadn’t been for the publicity they were trying to get. He was beyond grateful, but the fatigue of barely sleeping, and constantly writing for their new album, he was unbelievably irritable and overly tired.

He was almost always level headed, and was usually the one to keep everyone in line. He was the leader after all, that was his job, and he did it well, a real overachiever. So, when he exploded tonight on yoongi, of all people, he knew he had to get out and get some air, or in this case, some whiskey. It was stupid, really, he left the hotel without any security or telling anyone where he was going to go. His phone was blowing up, mostly calls and texts from the other members, but the worst of them being from the managers. He knew he would be in a world of hurt when he got back, but right now, he couldn’t care less.

It was his third shot, and his sorrows still sat at the bottom of the glass, tempting him to drown them with the only warmth he could find. He was so deep in his own self deprecation that he hadn’t even heard the front door open, but he did feel the gush of cold that swirled around the lonely bar room, greeting his turned back with chills. He didn’t bother to turn around, it was probably best that no one saw him anyways.

He felt like hours had passed while he had his head down. He could hear a faint female voice coming from behind the bar, and the male bartender was saying his goodbyes to her, thanking her for coming in on such short notice. Joon finally sat up, his eyes fighting to crack open. The lighting was dim, but the alcohol had already started to fill up his eyes, blurring his vision.

“Hey there, stanger,” you said softly, walking across the back of the bar, a towel dragging over the used wood, and water rings from drinks left too long, “I thought we might have lost you to the daniels,” you grabbed his empty glass, dropping it in the sink.

“Hey,” he dragged out the word, as if it were more than a four letter word.

“Hey to you too,” you laughed softly, walking over to the taps. You poured him some water, and a small amount of ice.

“What if I wasn’t done drinking?” He tried to straighten his back, as if he was attempting to prove his sobriety.

“I’ve done this job for long enough to know when someone has had enough,” You set down his water, leaning over the counter to cup your chin in your hand, resting your elbow against the rag you left out.

“You don’t know me,” he challenged, leaning the same way you did, trying to mimic your actions, hoping to annoy you a little.

He was taken back when laughter fluttered from your chest. His eyes widened slightly, now leaning in so he could be a little closer to you. His vision had finally started to come back, and he could really see your face. You were gorgeous, and it wasn’t something that was lost on you. He could tell you knew you were attractive, but you never used it as an advantage. You tried to downplay the way your face expanded when you smiled, or the way your eyes almost closed when you laughed. You wore your emotions so clearly on your face, a raw human being, unafraid to unapologetically be yourself.

“So, sorrow boy. What are you trying to numb?” You asked, nudging the water towards him.

He took the hint that you wanted him to actually drink it, and in his crusade to get you to like him, he took a sip of the water. He looked up to you, his lips tugging to one side, morphing into a lopsided smile. He tried to clear his throat, not that anything was stuck, except for his words.

“You don’t have to tell me,” you started to pull away, dragging the cloth away, but Namjoon was quick to grab your wrist. It was a gentle, but urgent gesture.

“Oh shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to grab you like that,” he immediately started to apologize, and never once trying to justify his actions, but was truly apologetic.

He rubbed the back of his neck, his ears that had been peeking from the messy brunette tendrils started to turn a shade of red. Your heart melted in your chest a little, he was completely appalled at what he had done.

“Hey,” You reached over, patting the top of his hand, “It’s okay. I know what you meant, you don’t have to be sorry.”

He looked at you, an unknown emotion washed over his face for a moment, but as quickly as it came, it faded. He took a deep breath, and nodded, his hair shaking from the motion.

“Do you really want to know why I’m here?” He inquired, unsure of your motives.

“If I didn’t want to know, I promise you, I wouldn’t have asked,” you settled back into your resting position. You prodded him on with questioning eyes.

He nibbles on the inside of his cheek, contemplating whether or not he should tell you. It wasn’t like he’d ever see you again after tonight, and what would be the harm in finally being able to talk about what’s going on in his life.

“I work in the music industry,” he admitted - believing you had not idea who he was, because why else would you actually treat him like just another person, “and the group I’m apart of has been doing a lot of press, while finishing up an album. Not only that, but I’m the person everyone goes to. I don’t mind it, I do love my members, they’re like brothers, but we’re all getting worn out. Everything we do is always being watched, whether it’s our vacations being broadcasted, or us doing live streams for the fans. I can’t even go out to get coffee in the morning without a full security team, because our fans can be… unpredictable at times. I feel like I’m living in a cage, watching the world around me go by. I don’t know who I am outside of the personified version of myself that I try to sell to everyone,” He exhaled loudly, as if a physical weight had been brought off his shoulders.

“It sounds like you have everything,” you said, watching him immediately deflate, thinking you didn’t understand what he was trying to explain, “but, you’re not really living. You’re not enjoying life, because you’re running on low all the time. Your mind and body never has time to adjust,” you have all but climbed over the bar and sat in his lap, you two were close enough to each other that you swore he could feel your breath against his cheeks.

“I feel like I’m a robot on autopilot. Most days, I feel barely human,” his eyes fell, looking at the bottom of his water, rolling the glass between his palms.

You didn’t know this boy, you didn’t know his life or to what extent his problems branched, but for tonight, you wanted to erase them. You pulled away from the conversation, NamJoon’s head snapped up, the fear in his eyes was evident. He was afraid he had scared you off, or that you didn’t actually care for his problems.

“Come on. I’m closing up early, I want to take you somewhere,” you began the closing ritual, but made it as quick as possible.

You put the money from the till into the safe, which was in the back office. You went down the line, turning off all the lines that led to the taps. You could feel his gaze on your back as you moved about, switching off the lights.

“What if someone tries to come in?” He asked, a little bit of worry dripping from his question.

“Ah, yes. The busy hours between 2am and 4am,” you teased, glancing over your shoulder.

He caught your eyes immediately, that same goofy lopsided smile had founds its way back on to his lips. You bit the inside of your cheek, turning away to finish up what you had been doing. What had you been doing? You had completely lost track of what you were in the process of, he really made your mind go blank.

“Let’s go,” you closed the register with your hips as you walked by, the small door to the back of the bar swinging behind you.

Joon stepped off his stool, keeping a firm hold on the metal that separated him and the bar. You giggled to yourself, usually you found drunk guys to be rather annoying, but he was sweet, and clumsy. You took a step towards him, offering him your hand. He stared at it for a moment, as if your fingers had transformed into man eating snakes.

“I don’t have cooties, I swear,” grabbing his hand anyways, pulling him out of the door, the chairs taking a rather tipsy beating as his feet stumbled over themselves, crashing into the furniture.

“First of all, we’ve got to get some food in you, and sober you up.”

He didn’t disagree, partly because he was starving, but mostly because he was afraid this was all a drunken dream, and that he was bound to wake up at any moment.

“How did you find this place? Especially since it seems that you’re extremely recognizable,” you wrapped his arm around your shoulders, letting him lean some of his weight on you. You hadn’t truly realized his height until now, which somehow made this so much more adorable.

“I just started walking, honestly. There is something freeing about getting out of a place that has four walls,” he lean his cheek on the top of your head.

“And sometimes you need those four walls to protect you,” you reached up, gently wrapping your hand around his fingers, which were dangling over your shoulder.

“It sounds like you may have the same kind of mind as me,” he paused for a moment, “And I’m sorry for that,” you could hear the sadness rounding out the corners of his slowly sobering speech.

The rest of the walk down the street to the only hotdog stand open, was quietly, except for the soft pitter patter of both your feet tapping against the pavement. He never moved his head, but his fingers played with yours, absentmindedly. The man standing with the cart smiled towards the both of you.

“Hungry love birds tonight?” He chirped, getting some buns ready for your order.

Namjoon went to open his mouth, but you nudged him, and he quickly closed his lips, burying his nose in your hair. His shyness was starting to make another appearance.

“Two dogs, fully loaded, and two water bottles,” you reached into your pocket, pulling out some money that had been through the wash too many times, and it smelled of detergent.

You two exchanged money and hotdogs, while Namjoon walked slowly over to the bench. You watched from your spot, making sure he didn’t stumble over his intoxicated limbs. He plopped down, with a loud push of air leaving his chest. You walked over to him, two water bottles under your arms, and the hot dogs in your hands. You sat beside him, sliding close, so that both your legs touched. He took a water and hot dog, leaving one of your arms free.

“Thank you,” He said between hurried bites.

“Man, you really were hungry,” you laughed, taking a sip of your water.

He looked down to hide his shy smile, “Yeah… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t eat so fast,” he slowed down his bites.

“You don’t have to apologize, you’ve done nothing wrong,” you patted his knee.

“Has anyone ever told you how comforting you are?” He asked, after taking a sip of water.

Now it was your turn to blush, “A couple times, but it’s hard to believe, only because believing good things about yourself is much harder than it should be,” you shrugged, crumpling up the little paper that was holding your hotdog.

“I know exactly what you mean.” He grabbed both of your trash and stood up, clearly gaining some of balance back.

“Thank you,” you said softly, watching him walk. His long legs striding across the sidewalk.

You stood up when he walked back over to you, and he reached out, draping his arm around your shoulder, but this time it was just to have you a little closer to him. You looked up at him, catching his profile. His long neck, meeting the angular curve of his jaw. You were mesmerized by him, feeling as if you were the one who had drank all that Jack Daniels. You hadn’t even noticed that there was a group of girls following pretty far behind you, but joon had. He picked up his pace a little, turning his head to look down at you.

“There are some girls following us, and I can’t have them seeing your face, I don’t want you caught up in my life,” He was serious, and you really just started to realize how well known this guy may be.

“How fast can you run?” You asked without moving your head to look at him.

“I mean… not that fast,” he admitted, which would have been slightly endearing if it weren’t for the gaggle of girls following you.

“I’m going to need you to run as fast as you can, and don’t let go of my hand, got it?”

He nodded, wordlessly agreeing to your plan. In all honesty, you could have been working with them. You could trap him in a corner or hurt him somehow. He didn’t know you, and here he was trusting you. This brought a whole new meaning to blind trust. He dropped his arm from around your shoulders, and you found his fingers, tangling them with yours. You glanced over at him, and he was already looking at you. You couldn’t help the smile that snuck onto your lips.

“Go!” You yelled, taking off with him slightly behind you.

You could hear the girls behind you taking off as well, which pushed your legs faster. Namjoon was following behind you, but tugged on him, and with great effort he picked up his speed. You turned down a street, heading into a suburban area, houses that all looked the same. You could feel him losing momentum around the third block, but you needed one more block from him.

“We’re almost there,” you called back at him, and he groaned, but kept his pace.

The girls were gaining on you, so you had to make a detour, running in between the fences of peoples houses, pulling joon around the trees. You could see the high school just in your view. There was always a broken gate around the back. Unfortunately, for joon it was an extra minute of running. He was panting behind you, and you could also feel your legs giving out. The gate was so close, you reached around little door, opening it from the inside. You shoved it open, yanking joon into the courtyard with you.

“Namjoon! Namjoon!” The girls called out, and if their words were whips, he shuddered away from his own name.

Once you two made it towards the auditorium, you started pushing on all the doors till you found one that was open. You grabbed the front of his shirt, stumbling into one of the locker rooms. You forced the door closed, latching the lock just in time to hear the smack of multiple hands hitting the metal door. You hunched over next to him, both of your breathing heavily.

“Holy shit,” Namjoon had started to laugh between deep breathes.

You looked over at him, and the laughter that was sitting in your chest trickled out slowly. Soon, both of your were laughing hysterically. You both had just out ran a group of fangirls, and broke into a high school. Neither of you could believe what this night was stacking up to be. After a few minutes of falling into each other with giggles, you finally caught your breath, standing up straight.

“This has got to be the boys lockers room,” You crinkled your nose, the stench of unwashed jock straps and sweaty socks filled the air.

“I think you might be right about that. We need to get out of here,” he turned towards the door, but you whipped around, grabbing his hand.

“Wait!” You pulled on him, which made him turn on his heels to look at you.

“What? They should be gone,” his eyebrows sinking to the middle of his forehead.

“Come on, I want to show you something,” you tugged on him, and he followed you. He was starting to think he would follow you anywhere.

“One time you’re going to tell me to follow you, and you’re going to lead me to my death,” he laughed softly, watching you from behind.

You turned your head to look back at him, and in that moment he knew he never wanted to forget your face. He took a mental image of you, and how beautiful you looked under the dim fluorescent lights above the two of you. He’d never forget the way you looked at him, the way you made him feel fully human.

“As long as you hold my hand, I promise I won’t let anything happen to you,” you swore, and you meant it.

His breath caught in his chest, and without a second thought, he knew he’d do anything to keep you safe. You were a stranger to him, he didn’t know your name, he didn’t know your story, or if you were a sister, a girlfriend, a best friend. He didn’t know you, but he wanted to spend a lifetime figuring it out. The echo of a door opening brought him back to reality. He looked around and he was in what looked like a swimming area.

“I used to come here a lot when I was younger. My friends and I would get drunk on really shitty vodka and break in for a swim,” you started to pull off your shirt, tossing it on the ground.

Joon opened his mouth to speak, but choked on his words, coughing. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen a girl take her top off, but you were so nonchalant about it, like you two had been best friends for years, and you were comfortable with him. You lifted a brow, gesturing towards his shirt.

“Do you swim fully clothed?” You asked, cocking a brow up.

He swallowed and started to remove his shirt, while you stripped from your jeans, wiggling your hips. He quickly looked away, his cheeks blazing a deep shade of red. You tossed your head back and laughed.

“You’re so cute,” you walked towards the pool, “but cute won’t get you a kiss,” you looked back at him, diving into the pool.

Suddenly, he felt a fire blaze in his stomach. He practically ripped his pants off, stumbling as the bottom of his jeans clung to his ankles.

“Oh come on,” he cursed, flailing his leg around wildly.

He was finally free of the grip his pants had on him. He almost sprinted to the pool, jumping in haphazardly, his body making a small wave that washed over you. You laughed loudly, as he swam over to you, but you couldn’t let him win that easy. You dove under water, swimming between his legs, popping up behind him.

“Darn, so so close,” you splashed him as he turned around.

“That’s it!” He lurched forward, causing you to squeal.

He captured you in his arm, wrapping his limbs around your waist, but the water lubricated your skin, making it easy for you wiggle free by dunking his head down. You tried your hardest to swim away from him, but his fingers attached to your ankle, pulling you back to him.

“No! No! I’m sorry!” You tried to beg for your freedom, but he got you, and he wasn’t letting you go.

He finally had you pressed against his chest, and this time you didn’t fight him. Instead, you wrapped your legs around him, hanging your arms around the back of his neck. He leaned forward, and for a split second you thought he was going to kiss you, but he placed his forehead against yours.

You both sat in silence, just the sound of water splashing the edge of the pool, and your gentle breathing. He had closed his eyes, but you didn’t dare do the same. You weren’t ready to miss a second of his face. The water had taken off any makeup he might have been wearing and his bare skin was showing. It was the prettiest color of tan you’d ever seen, just enough of a sun kissed glow to make his skin look perfect. You could see the small freckle under his lip, and you had the strongest urge to kiss it.

“You’re looking at me,” he whispered without opening his eyes.

“I don’t want to forget anything about you,” you replied in a hushed voice.

In a flash, his cheeks bloomed into a beautiful hue of pink. You’d been able to see him blush before, but now it was so much more intense, you were so close to him now. His lashes fluttered before he opened his eyes, looking at you.

“The sun's coming up… we should get you back to your group,” you brushed the tip of your nose over his.

“You’re right, even if I don’t want you to be,” he sighed, swallowing back the leftover words that he wanted to say, but never would.

After both of you got dressed, soaking your clothes from the wet undergarments you were both wearing, you had started to walk back the way you came. The sun was painting a masterpiece of orange and reds, you swore that if heaven was real, this is what it would look like. You walked hand in hand, joon swinging your arms lightly. You could see the bar getting closer, and you knew this was coming to an end.

“I wish the sun would never rise,” he confessed, stopping in front of the bar.

You smiled sadly, the corner of your lips never fully reaching your eyes. You placed both your hands on his cheeks, running your thumb over his bottom lip.

“You spend too many hours in the night, you need to take a walk in the sun,” you watched as he placed his hand over yours, leaning his cheek into your palm.

“You do the same,” he turned his head to press his lips into your hand, “can I ask you one thing?” He said, barely loud enough for you to hear, “what’s your na—“

He was cut off by your finger over his lips, you shook your head, “Let’s not do that. If you know my name, than it’ll make it harder.”

He looked at you for a moment, searching your eyes. He didn’t want to say goodbye, he didn’t want this to end, but his plane was leaving in just a few hour and his members were losing their mind, not knowing where he was.

“If you ever find yourself back here, you know where to find me,” you glance at the bar, and smile.

You lean into your toes, and he brings his head down slightly, dropping it lower. You press your lips into his forehead, and he hugs you tightly from around the waist. You can’t bare to stay that way, because you’re starting to wonder what would happen if you didn’t let go, so you had too.

“Goodbye, sorrow boy,” you whispered.

“Goodbye, beautiful girl,” he caressed your cheek, before turning away.

He started to walk away, but when he got to the end of the street, he turned around to see you one last time.

You were already gone.

194 notes · View notes

kellinquinnaf · 5 years ago

Text

A bi girls story: update

I hung out with the “M” girl the other night.

I went to a family friends bbq for dinner, my boyfriend came along. We all had a couple drinks. He left around 8:30, precisely when I stopped drinking. “M” didn’t get off work till 10 so I started chugging waters, playing off not drinking for the fact that I did have to work at 8:30 am the next day.

At 10:00 I walked from there to my Dads house where my car was parked. I convinced him and my boyfriend that I was sleeping there. I got in my car and drove 10 mins along the highway to a provincial park, where “M” works and sleeps.

I get there at 11:00, meeting her at the gate and we drive to the staffhouse where she stays, we’re alone. For the first few hours we just talked, knowing we both wanted to get closer, but still too nervous and unsure to make the first move.

Around 12:30 she says, “I wish I had my weed and bong,” and I say “I have a joint in my car.” We head out to light it up, I pull out my car keys when we’re done to lock it but she thinks I’m leaving. I say “no unless you’re tired and want to go to bed,” which she denies. We go back into the hangout room of the staffhouse which has a TV to watch.

We both slowly try to sit closer without being to obvious. She has a sleeve of tattoos on her arm and I begin looking it over. They’re all so beautiful, containing colours and blacks. It includes a horse/unicorn (not 100% but don’t think she’s the unicorn type), an image of her own dog, a wolf one orange in profile, and one multicoloured in portrait. Her arm is so smooth and soft due to the tattoos, I start literally petting her arm and she laughs saying she’s used to that cause everyone does it.

She comments on the length of my nails, saying that I might need to trim them up (cause ya know those mfs are sharpppp). I give her a few scratches on her arm and she’s says with her breath hitching “okayyy maybe not,” as she was enjoying the scratch (later on I think to myself I’ll trim one hand for the obvious and leave one hand long for scratching her;)

I ask if she’s ticklish and she denies but I find that her armpits are. She’s stronger than me and over powers me trying to tickle me, I’m ticklish basically everywhere. We end up basically cuddled on the couch somehow her face on my breast. I shift and she says “Awh I was comfy there.” We get close now and share our first kiss.

We make out for a bit, my body instinctivly moving because I’m so turned on. I start golfing and have to admit to her “I’ve never fucked a girl before,” thinking she has some experience, but she admits “neither have I” which honestly surprised me. She says she can’t just bang someone she needs to get to know them. This makes me feel better cause I’m still trying to learn how to turn a girl on good.

We take a break and watch some more tv; tosh.o , spoungbob, South Park to name a few. We talk about anything and everything. It was always so easy from the moment we started hanging out but even more now since we got our nerves out of the way. We have a few more make out sessions and she’s such a turn on.

Kissing, neck kisses, chest kisses but not tooless whatsoever. She’s grabbing my ass, rubbing my thighs, getting confident to touch me there. Our last makeout was intense and fun. We were getting wayyy turned on, swearing cause we want more but we know it’s not going there tonight. Pushing eachother back and forth with our kisses, kind of fighting for dominance, both wanting to dominate but both really enjoy being dominated. I on top of her, she on top of me.

I say I need to leave at 2 or 3 am so I can get enough sleep to go to work tomorrow. Hours keep going by; 4am, 5am. I debate sleeping but sleeping for 2-3 hours would only make me more tired at this point. She basically convinced me to pull an all nighter, so I stayed there making out with her until 8am. I drove home and got changed into work scrubs, praying my boyfriend would be sleeping. He was awoken by the dog so he saw me come in but luckily didn’t ask where I had been staying lastnight.

I went to work at 8:30 and thought I was going to pass out while in the oporatory by 9:15, kind of honestly fallin asleep; eyes drooping, sight going a bit foggy, having to really think about my words and noticing my own movements are delayed.

I make it through the 5 hour shift until my relief comes in. I have so much to do, pack for a trip, visit a friend who just had a baby, and visit a friend who just moved into a new house. By 4:30 my body shut down and I just completely passed out. My boyfriend tried to wake me up to pack but I just wouldn’t get up, my body had been awake for 34 hours and just shut down.

It’s crazy how amazing being with her made me feel, and I wish my boyfriend could accept my bisexuality and let me have the best of both worlds; what I need to feel complete honestly.

—

We were talking about my work and she says she thought the dentist was gay or bi. I say she has a boyfriend. I say it’s funny you thought that cause I have a bit of a crush on her. And she agrees sayings “she’s really cute ain’t she, got that Asian spice” (I’m like wow this girl knows what’s up). I say she’s really funny and smart and she mentions that intelligent women are more difficult to catch.

Also “M” said she could totally tell that I was into girls. I “show up wearing hats, bucket hats, pics of me at school” (she totally creeped my page haha). I’m like damn I’m that obvious really.

We talked about pride parades said we should go together as a bit of a joke but kind of serious. She wants to get drunk and make out with hot girls. I would feel so amazingly free there.

We talked about my mom saying she thinks one of her kids were gay but wouldn’t tell us who she thought it was because we need to figure it out ourselves. Hi mah it’s me!

She talked about a guy she banged once and how he got so attached they thought they were in a relationship and she’s like lol wtf? So she told me to basically not get attached to her since she doesn’t want to be in a relationship, but fuck she’s so cool I want to spend all my time with her. But I don’t want her to think I’m getting clingy. She leaves soon anyways. But she talked about next summer that she’ll be back and I can ride on her motorcycle with her then. So we’ll see if she’s single or not by thenn !

#gay #gay girls #wlw #wlw advice #sws #ptv #sleeping with sirens #pierce the veil #bisexual #bi #bisexual woman #story #story time

7 notes · View notes

diaryofanormalkid · 6 years ago

Text

Thursday, May 2nd and Friday, May 3rd were such good days

This week started off pretty rocky because I was sleeping so irregularly, it kept messing with my work schedule and also the errands I had to take care of. But then it got better!

Monday

I started off this week on Monday working a 10:30-6:30pm shift. I think I fell asleep at 5:30am and woke up at like 8:45am to get ready for work. My shift went extremely well, except for the fact that I was super sleepy.

And then at the very end it just went haywire because I needed a certain paper to count my cash till, but we didn’t have anymore so I was running around looking for it for a good 5-10 mins.

It was the end of my shift and all I wanted to do was go home! I couldn’t believe this was happening right when I wanted to go home. I thought to myself “these things only happen to me.”

Eventually I found it and was able to count, but by the time I was done counting my till, it was a little after my shift had ended meaning I missed my usual bus to get home.

So I was stuck there waiting for a while, but not for too long. And then I walked to my bus stop and went home!

Tuesday

Today I had planned to get my high school transcripts to apply for colleges. However, after the horrendous weekend I had with little to no sleep and then going into Monday’s shift sleep deprived also, I didn’t have it in me to wake up in time to do that at all.

Even when I had woken up, I was exhausted. I believe I woke up after 1pm that day. This is what I mean when I say my sleep had become so irregular, I would wake up at different times every day.

As soon as I woke up though, I meant business. I called my high school and let them know I needed a transcript, however they let me know that I was expected to come in to physically obtain it.

Figures. I can’t lie, that was a major setback for my entire thing I had going for the week because I wanted to have these transcripts sent in as soon as possible so that I could further complete my application to apply for colleges.

And then they also informed me that it would actually be too late in the day to come and get them and that the only available time I can pick up my transcript would be in the mornings.

So... I was super limited with days that I could go in to get my transcript. I knew then, this week I would only be able to pick it up on Wednesday or Friday, since Thursday I was working.

My mom was so kind offer to take me the following day, which would mean Wednesday I would be able to get it and mail it off to the website.

So by now, I told myself at least if I’m not going anymore to get my transcript today, then I should go to pick up my friends birthday gift and card today. At the LEAST.

But seeing as how exhausted I was, I fell asleep in my couch and just spent the whole day recovering from the already tiring week. In my head I reminded myself that the next couple days I really needed to pick up my slack!

Wednesday

So here came Wednesday, a new day. And there I was again, still exhausted. I still apparently hadn’t fully recovered from all the sleep deprivation. Going to bed late Tuesday night didn’t help either.

I remember telling my mom and myself that today I would wake up at 8:30am so that we could arrive at my high school by 10am to pick up my transcript.

Did I do that? No. What I did was sleep in though. It was such a rainy, gloomy day. I had no energy to get out of bed so I slept in until about 12:30pm.

My mother was upset with me because here she was willing to give me a ride to my high school when she had work later today and there I was in bed sleeping.

I also had work today, so I didn’t have much free time to mess around and waste. I needed to make sure I was ready in time to catch my bus to work.

I managed to slip out of my house just in the knick of time to catch my bus. I have to give credit to my instincts and running abilities however, because if it hadn’t been for both, I would’ve surely missed my first bus.

I made it in time for work, and the shift surprisingly went super well once again. Which I was super happy about. It was least that could be going right in my life with all the mess that was going on lately.

This shift was from 2:30-10:30 and a fun fact is that my mom and I work at the same place, just different areas. So I always wait for her when she’s on evening shift to finish her shift.

Her shift lasts until 11:30 though, which leaves me waiting for a while. Gladly, I finished all that I had to while I was there so I made the most of my time by killing it quickly with silly things.

Thursday

Now today was another day I had work. Ironically, I wasn’t supposed to work today, it was just a last minute shift that was given to me by someone who needed me to take it.

I was happy I got it, i could really use the money after the expensive previous week I had. The catch was I had to be back first thing in the morning for this shift. 8:30-4:30pm to be exact.

I didn’t have a problem with it, as I was the one who approved to take it. However, I knew I was in for quite a shift with the lack of sleep after doing my evening shift Wednesday.

I kept telling myself on Wednesday, “okay Britney, you know you have a shift in the morning so you HAVE to make sure you go STRAIGHT to sleep once you get home.”

Did I listen to myself? No! I believe I fell asleep a little after 4am that night. And I was supposed to wake up at 6:30am so that I could leave out in time to catch my bus.

So I was barely on time to catch my bus that morning, but I still made it by God’s grace. I also almost thought I lost my phone on the bus that morning but quickly found it hiding in my bag.

So glad. By that point in the morning, I had already gone through so much anxiety just thinking about being late to work and then almost losing my phone.

The lack of sleep didn’t help at all, but regardless I was actually feeling more excited than I was anxious by the time I arrived at work. Super uncharacteristic of me, but true.

One thing I will mention is that I hadn’t worked in this part of the Tim Hortons in a long time. So while I had every reason to be nervous to come back to this part, I was still excited.

I tried to prepare myself mentally by repeating in my head “you won’t be clumsy,” “you won’t spill anything,” “there’ll be no accidents,” “positive energy,” “good vibes,” “today’s gonna be a good day,” and things of that nature.

And I kid you not, it was! I anticipated I would be a little rusty, heck and I even tried to prepare myself for the worst, just in case. But it was genuinely a really smooth shift.

I actually enjoyed my time that day. And LEMME TELL YOU... I saw my short crush! So that in itself was so rewarding to get to see him on a day I wasn’t even supposed to be there.

Short crush

So I peeped when he came really quickly because he was with a few other ppl and they kinda had a presence, all of them standing in line.

The whole time while I was taking orders, I could see him in my peripheral just staring at me subtly, but not so subtly. I was nervous but calm, cool and collected all at the same time.

By the time he got to the till, I was surprisingly able to look into his eyes and greet him hi, like any customer. I asked what I could get for him and his coworkers and they all began to state their orders.

For this I made sure to write down their orders because with how flustered I was on the inside, I knew for a fact I would forget. I took my time with it too, just to ensure that I didn’t mess anyone’s orders up.

So as I was making them, his coworkers and him were going back and forth double checking that the orders they said were correct, in the meanwhile, not realizing how confusing that was for me.

Because I was standing there making their orders thinking “should I start these over or read them back to them to make sure they’re correct?” Like what do they want from me???

I ended up just zoning them out and focusing on making what I had written down because I trusted myself to write down everything properly as I heard them say it.

When I was finished with making everything, I handed them all to them and him, and they got some of the drinks mixed up with whose was whose, so I had to point out which ones was which ones.

The whole time my short crush was staring at me half adoringly, half awkwardly because he could see the confusion on my face as I wondered why they couldn’t figure it out.

So then he left and I told them all have a good day. Ahh, he’s so cute. And that wasn’t the only crush I ran into that day because I also saw my American Dragon crush/short guy... at the same time.

Short Guy

[Let’s just get this straight and lemme remind you all that short crush and short guy are two different people in my world!!! So don’t confuse the two no matter how similar they look.

Because the difference is, I do not have a crush on short guy, hence why he doesn’t have a crush in his title! They both just so happen to be short though

So basically

short crush = reciprocated feelings since I am also attracted to him but

Short guy = unrequited feelings since I am not attracted to him back]

I was going on my second break of the day when I ran into short guy. He was also on his break which is why we were both in the cafetaria.

So since I ran into him, I decided to just sit down and eat with him since it was the middle of the day and there are so many ppl in the cafeteria with hardly any seats to sit at.

After I fixed my lunch I kinda waved to him to come sit over with me. So... for the first time with him I was actually comfortable talking and eating with him.

All the other times before, I would always be so nervous to talk or eat in front of him, because I know how he feels towards me. And I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea.

Being self conscious and having low self esteem doesn’t help when you’re eating in front of someone who you know is attracted to you. But today, for some reason I was just so calm.

Anyways, we talked about a few different topics and we kinda just stayed on them for a long time. And I was actually eating too, which was progress, so I felt good about myself.

And eventually my American Dragon crush came to sit down to eat with us since there was still not very many seats.

American Dragon Crush

All throughout today I kept seeing him since he was working morning shift like me. And every time I saw him, I would say something to him. Which to me, is nice because he’s not the type of crush I am usually comfortable talking with if I initiate it.

[My relationship with American Dragon crush is a bit complicated because he’s:

Younger than me by a year and a half

Shorter than me ALSO 👀

Filipino, his mom probably hates me because she sees me alll the time but is so short with me / language barrier is hard at my work when everyone speaks Tagalog and you can’t understand what they’re saying

I am lowkey crushing, but my mom would NOT approve of me even LIKING him so looool

My mom told me the other day she agrees that she thinks he has a crush on me!!!!! So that’s confirmed, he likes me back

He literally ran away (just kidding walked away) when my mom was coming towards me to talk one time like he was scared of her or something looool ]

Anyways, when he sat down with us... my very first instinct was to feel awkward. But the settings and everything made me feel calm, and I thought to myself “as long as nobody says anything weird, this will be fine.”

I really didn’t think either of these guys would try anything or say anything weird because they’re not really like that. There was SOME tension in the air, but it quickly got eradicated.

I tried to keep conversations going between them both to fill the silences that would happen every now and then, and was pretty successful tbh. That really made me feel at ease.

The last thing I wanted was for one to feel weird just because I was talking to the other. I was just glad they both could play along with the whole thing and not put me in an uncomfortable situation.

The lunch time flew by with the both of them there and continuing talking to me and each other. My American Dragon crush asked to borrow my charger so I said I would give it to him.

When I went to get my charger, he met me halfway to take it. I jokingly warned him “protect this with your LIFE. Don’t break it. Or you will never get to use my stuff EVER again.”

He told me, that’s fine and he’s not gonna use it for long. I also told him to make sure he brings it back before he leaves since he was gonna be done his shift a little earlier than me.

He came by his shift and had my charger in hand all neatly wrapped up ready to give to me. He’s like “here you go.” And I said “were you gonna leave with it?” He was smiling and said no.

Honestly thank God, because he would’ve completely and totally lost my trust since I’ve made that mistake before with other ppl.

Anyways, back to my shift at work that day...

I really didn’t have much trouble at all with taking orders other than for when new prices came up. Every now and then I would just check with a coworker to make sure I was charging the correct prices.

And since I was closing, that meant I was counting, meaning it was gonna be a pretty easy-going end to my shift. To me, counting my till is always so peaceful to me.

Closing went super smoothly, other than some ppl coming to ask for coffee last minute. But I had a quick and smooth close! And I got changed and ready in time for when I had to sign out.

I was wearing the most cool outfit after my shift at work. And I just felt my hair went SO well with it, like I was just so upset not more ppl got to see it.

But for the ones day did see it, I definitely blessed their lives for wearing such a cute fit. And I kid you not, I was so upset that this outfit was going to waste that I just up and went to the mall!

If I couldn’t get more ppl at my work, I said I might as well go and let ppl at the mall get to see my great taste in fashion. So I waited until my bus came and was on my merry way!

Alright alright, so my bus was packed and I kid you not... some man “snuck” a whole dog onto the bus! And I was not in the slightest upset about it!

As much as I joke around in real life about how I’m allergic to dogs, I really couldn’t tell you how I excited I was that a dog was somehow on this bus directly in front of me!

It was a super well trained dog too. It was the cutest lil ugly pug and whenever he would move the slightest everybody would look at this lil dogs every move.

I tried my absolute hardest not to sneeze around the dog to give away that I was allergic but I think my watery eyes gave it away once I was sitting there long enough.

As much I was suffering, I still wanted to be as close to the dog as I was. He just made my already good day even better and I knew I would have a nice story to tell when I got home.

Anyways so eventually the dog got off, then I was at the mall in no time. My plan for the day was to get my friends gift, her card and gift bag and then get out!

Since originally I never went on tuesday, today seemed perfect to do it because it wasn’t Friday (aka the busiest day of the week for the mall) and I was done work.

But boyyy, when I tell you it was BUSY! Way busier than I expected it to be. I didn’t remember that Friday, the next day was gonna be a P.A. day, so therefore no school.

That meant all the high school students took this as an opportunity to come to the mall on a Thursday instead. It made for my time at the mall like 3x longer than I thought it would take.

The lines were super long in Sephora when I went in. And literally any other time I looked over they remained that way so I just decided I would take my time choosing my friends gift.

I TOOK FOREVER THOUGH. Like the time I took in there was the equivalent of getting stuck down a YouTube rabbit hole and not realizing how much time has gone by!

But I found the CUTEST stuff for her AND myself. But obviously the main goal was her. I intended to buy a perfume and that’s exactly what I came out with.

Not the original size I had in mind, but regardless I believe my friend will appreciate the scent and effort it took to find a perfume for her. It really does smell amazing.

And it’s good quality that I hope will last! Since the bottle size is so small, there’s no telling if it will actually last all that long, but I think it’s a matter of finding the right scent first.

At least I know now if she truly really likes the scent, I could always buy her another one with the bigger sizes. Of course they’re way more expensive, but it’s quality perfume that lasts.

These are the items along with the card that I ended up getting her. I hope she likes/appreciates them. They’re definitely more on the practical side of giit’s, but nonetheless still good gifted

As for myself, I was spending a LONG time looking at the perfumes in Sephora. I was just super fixated on finding one for myself that I would also like so that when I finally do have the money I can eventually use it to buy the bigger bottles of the perfumes that I found and liked.

I found a lot of them that were decent smells, but i’m telling you, there was only one that fell in love with completely and obsessed with and can still smell the scent of today.

And I mean LITERALLY still smell the scent of because the scent is still remaining on the paper I sprayed it on which is crazy impressive! I’m sooo in love with the perfume, it’s so good!

You wouldn’t believe it, but that scent is actually THE first perfume bottle I picked up once I got to Sephora and I kept going back to it because I couldn’t believe how good it smelled.

I am definitely making that investment when I find the money because smelling like that???? I’d be irresistible everywhere I go! Here is a picture of the perfume:

As for all the other perfumes, they were subpar in comparison to this! What an experience it put me through. And now I will never forget that scent!

So once I had got done shopping for my friends gift in Sephora, I went to eat some Chipotle because ya girl was starved! I also got Starbucks to try the dragonfruit drink!

The one with coconut milk this time because I’d already tried the original mango dragonfruit drink with water and then another time with lemonade before.

All three of them are amazing flavours and it’s my go to from Starbucks at this point. Not that I go to Starbucks often anyways. I waited super long for the line at Starbucks.

But even worse was once I left the place, the line got waaay longer right after so I felt bad for how packed today was.

Anyways, I felt soo guilty after spending all the money I did in one day. I could’ve refrained from buying all the food that I did at the mall since I had food at home good and ready to eat.

But I couldn’t resist how hungry I was in the moment either. Plus, I had been having chipotle and Starbucks cravings the whole week prior so I’m glad it’s out of my system.

My period really did me dirty financially this time. When those cravings hit... they HIT! And I just can’t resist!

Anyways so by the time I left the mall, it was getting dark and I had to wait a while for my second bus so I decided to wait inside the Tim Hortons at the bus stop.

I always feel weird waiting inside a place and not buying anything because I know some places they tell you to purchase something, so I decided for buying an iced coffee to keep with me for tomorrow morning when I wake up.

I told myself it was to help me wake up in time tomorrow morning since I knew I would be tired, but then I also bought those new Oreo pockets...

That one I didn’t have any excuse for, I just was craving to try it. It was good, but sooo not worth it. As I was buying my iced coffee, I saw my bus pull up to the intersection.

It was a mission and a half though because as soon as I got my iced coffee I had to run so quickly to the bus so that it didn’t miss me! I got super lucky because she was at a red light.

Once I got to the bus, I saw my Model crush from my former University! I see him every now and then, but if there was any night I would want to see him, it would DEF be tonight.

I was super happy once I realized it was him because I wanted him to see my in this outfit! When I walked past him, I was acting super confident.

The whole time I was on the bus I was fighting the urge to look at him the entire time. I was so desperate to look but I told myself, only when it’s not obvious. I did pretty good on that.

Eventually he got off at the stop he usually gets off and on at. And then shortly, I was home. BOY was I glad to be home. But I was even happier that I had a wonderful day!

Friday

Today was... pretty good! My intentions were to pick up my transcripts from my high school, then drop off my sisters resumé with her at a mall. However things took a spin for the better today.

So lemme just start by saying I was STILL tired today when I woke up. To be clear, I somehow still ended up going to bed at like 4am last night because... bad habits.

But anyways, remember that iced coffee I bought? Yeah, well first thing after I woke up I went straight downstairs to drink it. I was THAT tired.

But i eventually came around and found a really cute outfit to wear out today. I was definitely dragging my feet however to get dressed. But my mother sister and I left by 10:30am.

I was super hyper due to the iced coffee/adrenaline rush I was experiencing from being so tired, so you could imagine how annoying I must’ve been.

Somewhere along the way, I asked my mom if she could drop my sister and I at the theatre to watch Avengers: Endgame but surprisingly she gave us money to go and I couldn’t believe I was finally gonna be able to watch it! Just like that.

So I found out once I got to my high school that the guidance counsellors need to sign my transcripts in order to send them out to give to me. I was simply... disappointed but not surprised.

It’s always something with me. So the secretary who was there was very helpful in arranging for me to pick it up next week whenever I was ready to get it, thankfully.

And then all of sudden as we were leaving, my mom randomly offered for me to take a test drive around the parking lot of my high school. It was totally spontaneous but serious.

So I took her up on her offer. After I was done, my mother said apparently I did an amazing job on my first time “driving” and that she couldn’t believe I had done my turns so easily.

I was sooo nervous and scared but also impressed with how I did as well. I honestly don’t have any reference of how good or bad I did though, so I’ll assume she was being honest.

Anyways then we headed to the mall and quickly dropped off my sisters resumé. And my mom dropped us off at theatre. I was so happy we could watch Avengers because I jokingly made a Instagram story about going to see it by myself just yesterday.

But now it’s actually a reality and I’m so glad. The whooole struggle to get food was a mission because we went back to THE SAME MALL by bus just to get food from the food court and bus back to the movies.

Then we snuck in our food since we had no time to eat it, otherwise we were gonna be late. And my sister literally snuck in a whole cup of pop from the mall into the theatre without anybody even realizing looool.

The whole time watching the movie I was sooo nervous because I didn’t really have any solid ideas of how the movie was gonna go down aside from the very few spoilers that I saw.

It was amazing! Sad, but not THAT sad for me because I didn’t have THAT much of an attachment to these characters since I didn’t even properly watch the first two avengers.

But I feel so relieved now that I don’t have to worry about spoilers! And also, I sat ALL the way through! Even though my bladder damn near bursted by the end of the movie!

I kid you not, I got up like 2 mins before it ended because my instincts told me it was gonna end soon and I was trying to time it. And I was right because it ended like right when I was about to leave!

I was so happy it was over and then I just made a RUN for the bathroom!!! But anyways today was amazing and I’m glad my week could end off way better than it started!

I still have one more day left to work, today. But I think I can handle the new week ahead now that I’ve gotten some things taken care of this week ☺️

Thanks for reading if you read allll the way through!

#personal #diary #dear diary #avengers #avengers endgame #crush #american dragon #american dragon crush #short crush #short guy

3 notes · View notes

justwritingscibbles · 7 years ago

Text

Sleep Well

Fic Request: “The reader pronouns she/her. Maybe SO to dark. And she’s a restless sleeper so her sleeping schedule is out of wack. Just a simple fic of something along the lines of that.”

It was first just late nights. Almost to midnight, but sleep forced you to rest wherever you were sitting at the time. Dark would lightly scold you for not going to bed, picking you up and carrying you to your shared room. Tucking you in the blankets before joining. Then your restless nights would continue onto the next day, usually till 2am or later. You weren’t even tired, watching tv or reading. Scrolling through your phone. But Dark dragged you to bed and forced you to lay there until you finally fell asleep. Many times there was never sleep. Not even till the next day or the night after. It wasn’t till you would crash or get overwhelmed with the deprivation. Dark had taken you to Dr. Iplier for ways to get you to sleep, but your body and mind just never settled enough for you to rest. Dark was getting worried. Especially when he woke up at 4am to find you wandering the kitchen. Trying, and failing, to be quiet. But it looked like you hadn’t slept at all. It was made even more apparent when you were trying to pour sour cream into your cereal. “But it was next to the milk.” You frowned, trying to simmer down Dark’s concern. He went to the fridge and withdrew the large bottle of milk. Showing you the very obvious size difference in the two. And also the fact that the sour cream was in a plastic jar where the milk was in a large plastic bottle. “You’re not ok. Do I need to set Host on you for 24 hour surveillance? Because I will, love. I don’t want you walking off a cliff because you mistook it for a staircase.” You tried to assure Dark that you weren’t that brain-dead. But he wasn’t convinced, and you were sure he did indeed have Host watching you whenever you left the house without Dark.

But as always, you tried to go to bed early after the second day without sleep. But none came. You sighed for the hundredth time and rolled around again. Flipping the pillow over to the cool side and sticking out a leg to better stabilize your body temperature. Dark usually kept you cool during the night. But it was far too early for him to consider joining you. He had paperwork to do, and even more annoyingly, the last meeting hadn’t gone well and he needed to double his efforts to fix whatever trouble the others stirred up. They weren’t listening to him like they use too. You grumbled into the pillow. Frustration coursing through you and you knew this would carry on to a third night. Quietly, you could hear Dark speaking to some on the phone. His voice seeming to match your inward anger. Then you heard him slam his phone down on the desk. Muttering quietly to himself as he calmed down. You decided now was more then a convenient time for you to ask him for a little cuddle time. You knocked softly, opening the door to his study just as he looked up from some scattered pieces of paper on his desk. “Kitten, everything ok? I apologize if I woke you. Damned Jims are messing around again. They’re like two weasels hyped up on sugar. They’re worse then Wilford.” Dark growled the last few words, and you smiled sympathetically as you approached him. He turned his desk chair a little so you were able to sit in his lap. Allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around your waist. “Maybe you should take a break,” You suggested. Kissing his cheek as you cuddled into him. “I couldn’t sleep again. And it’s going on my third night now.” Dark sighed and turned his head to rest his cheek against your hair. His eyes closing for a moment as he allowed himself to relax. He found it was much easier to calm down when you were in the room. He never wanted you to see him crack. It worried him what your reaction might be to his fury. And that thought kept him intact until you left the room.

“You rest a little when I am in bed. Would you like me to lay with you for a bit? It would be a nice distraction from the morons.” Dark closed his notes, smiling softly as you nodded and took his hand. Standing to lead him back to the bedroom. Dark discarded his blazer, leaving him in his white undershirt and trousers. He forgot to change when he got home. Which he’ll do when he comes to bed for the night, once he deals with the others. You settled under the blanket, waiting for Dark to get comfortable before moving into his waiting arms. He held you tightly, but not enough to cause discomfort or lack of oxygen. Dark’s fingers began to draw lines and patterns over your back. Dipping down to the bottom of your spine, and then all the way up to massage the back of your neck. And then he started to hum. The sound was as deep as a rumble of thunder, vibrating through his chest like a lion’s purr. It was no particular song, just a soothing melody Dark sounded when he was relaxing with you. You closed your eyes, nuzzling into his chest as tucked you under his chin. The cool temperature of his body was just as relaxing as the feeling of his fingers. “Did you take your medicine?” Dark asked, pausing the melody for a moment. You nodded and intertwined your hand with his free one. “I did. It tastes funny though.” Dark chuckled and kissed the top of your head. His legs tangling with yours to better press the two of you together. “I know. I’m sorry. Doc is looking into other methods for you. I’m sure you’ll get something that works.” He said, beginning to hum again. You found your mind was less wild when you were listening to Dark’s voice. It gave you something to focus on that wasn’t your own thoughts. Music rarely helped anymore, and you didn’t want to disturb Dark’s sleep. He needed it more then you. Despite his claims that he doesn’t mind music or soft environment sounds like rain storms or rain-forest music. And soon enough, you found you were drifting into that state between sleep and fully awake. It was the only way to get some rest sometimes. It was like you were dreaming of being awake, you could still hear Dark’s voice and sense him move every so often. But you were too far into the depths to actually reply to anything he was saying.

Dark caused this. Through his voice, he manipulated your mind to ease it’s racing self. He didn’t want you to know he was using his powers on you. But you needed sleep. He hated seeing you so drained and exhausted. It was effecting your health immensely. Dark would tell you one day. But that would be when you were sleeping properly and didn’t need him to help you rest. “Good night, love.” He purred into your hair. “I’ll be joining you soon.” You made a small noise of acknowledgement before Dark fully laid a blanket of peace over your mind. It would keep your mind and body still until he returned. You would sleep, in a very light way. But it was better then you tossing and turning, exhausting yourself even more.

#darkiplier x reader #darkiplier #dark #markiplier ego #iplier ego #iplier x reader #reader insert #xreader

563 notes · View notes

oh-the-places-kalika-willl-go · 6 years ago

Text

Loneliness

I’ve been feeling lonely and resentful lately. I lost a big group of friends about 6-7 years ago and honestly I’ve never been the same socially. For years I tried to just keep my distance from people. Sometimes I would let a person get closer and let my guard down and whenever I did that I would either get fucked over, my trust would get broken or it would turn out that the person never liked me. This happened countless times. I’ve been losing “friends” left and right. For the last few years, I’ve been super lonely. I feel like I don’t have the kind of close friends that I need to be happy. Being as I am a very social and outgoing person, I need meaningful social interactions to feel sane. I need the “ride or die” type of friends that you can call at 4am crying and freaking out. The type of friends that will lose sleep to make you feel better. I don’t know if my expectations are too high. This is the kind of friend that I am. I am there for my friends no matter what, maybe it’s too much to ask from someone? IDK. I don’t need a ton of friends. I just need a handful of friends that will have my back.

I have one friend that I used to be super close with. Our relationship changed a lot when she started living with her boyfriend. She prioritizes her boyfriend over everything. She mainly hangs out with his friends. I don’t think she has friends apart from me that she didn’t make through her boyfriend. I’m normally her last choice for company. The only time she plans anything with me is when her boyfriend is working and she does not have any plans. I understand that she wants to see him and spend time with him. It’s important to make time for your significant other. What bugs me is even when we are hanging out she rushes home to see him as soon as he’s done work. Sometimes she will come over for a couple of hours, wait around till he’s done work and then leave immediately to meet up with him. In the meantime when we do hangout, he will call a minimum of once per hour for at least 10mins to talk. As soon as he calls, she will drop everything, she will stop in the middle of an important conversation and go off to talk to him. It’s kind of ridiculous. I’ve just been getting frustrated at her and the situation. I no longer prioritize hanging out with her. I leave her as the last option now. I’m tired of running after her. Most of the time I just spend time with Keith and let it be. I realize I need new friends, but meeting people that I get along with and that also like me has been a challenge.

I started a new job a few months ago and I have co-workers that I absolutely adore. I thought maybe I can get close with them. I thought I was getting closer to them, but it seems like maybe that was in my head. It got weird after one of them (Sophie) invited me out to get pedicures done with two other co-workers (Cassandra and Lana). I said I was working that night so I wasn’t sure if I would want to do anything before work, but to keep me posted. Anyways, Sophie never got back to me and when I saw the three of them a few days later they didn’t mention anything about them going, so I ended up asking Sophie if they had went and she got a bit uncomfortable and said yes. She then went on to explain that she remembered me saying that I was working and that I wouldn’t be able to make it anyways. I said not to worry about it. Now, I know I said that maybe I would go, but I wasn’t sure and just to let me know what was going on. It’s possible that there was a misunderstanding, but then I thought why would she get weird when I asked her if they had gone.

Ever since then, I notice Sophie is a lot more distant. I used to be the closest to her. Normally, during our shifts she would walk around and come say hi and just check-in (our offices are next to one another). While she does still do that, it’s a lot less frequent than she used to and she only comes to talk to me when no one else is around.

I’ve been trying to ignore these changes thinking that maybe I’m just really paranoid (which I am). Tonight Sophie and Cassandra plus a bunch of other co-workers were planning to go have some drinks after their shifts. No one told me about it, which is odd. For one, I wouldn’t have been able to go even if I wanted to because I work night shifts (I finish work at 7am) and they end their shifts hours before mine (they normally finish at 12:30am). Sophie only mentioned that they were going out when I pointed out that her shift was done ages ago and then asked her why she hadn’t left. She again got really uncomfortable and let me know that she was waiting for Cassandra to finish her work because they had plans to go out for drinks with other the co-workers after their shift. She then goes well you can stop by for a drink during your lunch break if you’d like. She said it to be polite. Not to mention, why would I waste my lunch break on going to a bar for 30-40mins. I didn’t know what to think. It was just very weird. I had been talking here and there to both Cassandra and Sophie all throughout my shift. Neither of them mentioned anything about going out.

I know this all may be in my head and that I’m probably overthinking all of this. I know my anxiety has the tendency of getting the best of me, maybe all this has nothing to do with me. It’s 100% possible, but I’ve also gotten hurt in the past so I know that I need to tread lightly.

For now, I’m just going to let it be and see how things go. I’m going to try to not overthink things. I’d rather just focus on myself and learn to be self-reliant. I want to be able to be happy being alone rather than chasing after people that don’t want me around anyways. I really need to learn to just do my own thing. I think I rely too much on other people to make me feel good and that is way too much power that I’m giving to other people.

#resentment #friendship #friends #friend #isolation #loneliness #trustissues #loss #relationships #independence #individuality #self-discovery #solitude

2 notes · View notes

lalalarisssaaa · 7 years ago

Text

The Truth About Losing Your Mom At a Young Age.

Lately I’ve ignored friends who needed me, friends who were there for me and friends who I never wanted to hurt.

But the thing is, lately I’m not the person who I was before October 16th, 2017. Before that day I was a dedicated graduate trying to save money for college, make my parents proud and a backbone for a lot of people. Today, and everyday since I’ve been a shell of a person you once knew.

A mother carries you inside of her body for 9 months and then dedicates her soul to raising you, caring for you and loving you no matter what it takes. And my mom? She was one who would kill anyone who hurt the people she loved.

She’d sing to me when I was little.

She’d hold me when I cried.

She would do anything for me.

When you’re 18 you don’t think about when the last time you’ll talk to one of your parents, when you’ll last see them. But nothings promised and the big guy doesn’t plan around your needs.

People say it gets easier with time and that you’ll be okay again, but how would they know if they didn’t plan their Mothers funeral at 18? When you lose your mother, you don’t just lose another person. You lose the woman who gave you life, the woman who was there for everything and the women who is supposed to guide you through life. You stop being mothered. For me, a 18 year old female I lost the woman I’d tell first if I ever got pregnant, I lost the woman I’d call when I didn’t know how much flower to put in a batch of cookies.

Losing your Mother is like losing a piece of your soul that you can never replace or let alone get back.

It’s not having anyone you’d want to talk to when you go through a break up.

It’s not having someone comfortable to talk to about changes to your body.

It’s about losing your support system, well at least a giant part of it.

it’s calling her phone at 4am just to hear her voice for a few seconds because it’s the only thing that allows you to remember.

It’s losing sight of the good memories, the ones where she was alive and happy.

It’s about being angry at your dead mother for leaving you.

It’s not remembering what her voice sounds like, what her face looks like because all that’s left in your brain is what she looked like when you lost her.

It’s not showering for a week and sleeping till 4 or 5 in the afternoon because without her there's no reason to get out of bed even though you know she’d want you to continue living your life.

It’s spending countless nights thinking of a way to kill yourself without it being suicide so your family doesn’t think they missed something.

It’s having everything under the sun to talk about and less than a handful of people who’d understand.

It’s walking into grocery stores and hearing how sorry someone is for you loss 6 months down the road and revisiting the exact moment you lost her.

It’s taking this piece of paper that declares her dead around to banks, companies and lawyers to figure out her financials.

It’s not knowing how to plan a funeral because you’re not even old enough to drink yet.

It’s holidays without your moms home cooked meal.

It’s watching her Birthday pass and not being able to celebrate because she’s not here and it’s not right without her.

it’s never eating her secret recipes that are your favorite because she didn’t get to teach you them yet.

It’s calling her dad to tell him that she’s gone. It’s calling every family member to let them know.

It’s writing a news paper article for your mom and not knowing what to say because even though you got 18 years together you don’t know everything you want to write about her.

For me I watched my mother die, slowly and over the course of months without even knowing what was about to come.

For me it’s your brain replaying the moments leading up to, and every decision you made in those moments that lead to her dying. It’s regretting every angry teenager blow out of “ I hate you!” and the little arguments about something that didn't matter five minutes later. It’s blaming yourself for the death of your mother. It’s laying in bed until you no longer can because you just don’t feel like living. It’s avoiding her gravesite because something inside you says that it’s just a bad dream and tomorrow morning she’ll call you. It’s drinking so much alcohol you’re covered in your own vomit while telling your friends you want to drive your car into a tree so you can see your mom again. It’s smoking a pack a day because if they played a role in her death, I could just smoke until I drop dead myself. It’s almost giving up 5 years self harm free because although you are feeling empty, sad, tired and confused you’re completely numb to your own emotions and the only thing you can feel is pain. It’s finally admitting to your doctors that you need help and being put on medications for depression, anxiety and insomnia just to stare at those bottles every night and wonder what would happen if you took all 48 pills at once.

It’s losing the 2 weeks of coping skills / ways to deal with Depression and Anxiety that you knew so well when you were released from the hospital at 13.

It’s falling back into that dark hole you thought you escaped.

It’s also everything you are used to doing reminding you of her which leads to a mental breakdown. It’s not being able to listen to any type of music without crying. It’s shutting out all of your friends with moms because you just cant stand to hear about their fights with their mom, what they did with their mom that day or the word mom at all. It’s canceling plans and taking your sleeping meds at 7am so you can just ignore the world for one more day. It’s losing your job because you’re so distracted with pain and grief that you just cant stand at a register and watch all the little kids shop with their mommas. It’s listening to people tell you how much you look like her and that it’s tragic she wont be there for your wedding or kids. It’s not wanting kids or a marriage because how do you do those things without your mom?

It’s starring into a mirror and noticing little things about yourself that are like her and hating it because it’s just another reminder that she’s gone.

It’s waking up everyday, getting out of bed and still feeling like you’re standing in place at the end of that hospital bed and watching everyone else around you move on while you’re stuck with an image of your dead mother.

It’s breaking down into tears at random moments through out the day and not knowing way.

It’s seeing a mom die on a TV show or Movie and laying there, hugging yourself while you try to hold it together.

And when your mother was the only parent who truly supported your decisions, goals and dreams it’s like losing both parents.

It’s your father not asking if you’re okay.

It’s feeling like your entire world has fallen apart and there is no one left to save you.

It’s constantly feeling like you’re chained to the bottom of the ocean and unable to breathe, and just when it can’t get worse it does, and sometimes you get a gasp of air but it doesn’t ever last.

It’s wanting to die, but not being able to do anything about it or anything to ease the pain in a way your brain wants to because you cant disappoint her. You’re better than that.

It’s a never ending battle.

But,

Don’t get me wrong, there a good days in between stretches of bad days, but those good days bring guilt because how am I happy knowing that my mother is dead and I'm down here living? It’s hating people because they are alive and she’s not. The good days are there, but the bad days out weigh them.

Losing a parent is something that you just don’t expect and there is nothing that can prepare you for the pain and suffering that comes along with it. But if there is one thing you can do about it, is take in every waking moment you have with them and enjoy it. Enjoy the fights, enjoy the annoying over protective parenting skills and enjoy the fact that you still have them. Tell them you love them, that you care about them and celebrate them giving you the ability to do that, the ability to live. Because there will come a day where every single thing that ever happened between you and your parents will be a memory and you wont get the chance to create another. And when that day comes, you’ll regret not doing those things enough.

It is a constant battle that I am still learning how to fight and one I’m still learning to want to win.

So to the friends I’ve mistreated since, to the friends who feel forgotten and unappreciated, it’s not true. I think about you everyday, I miss you all everyday, but lately I barley have the energy to care for myself. I barley have the energy to keep myself alive. And I hope you understand that it’s not something you did and it’s not that I’m not here, I just need to be here for me, find who I am and get back on my feet before I take care of you. I’m not trying to be selfish, I just can not juggle your needs and my needs. Someday it might be easier, but I will never breathe without thinking about the death of my person. and please understand that my anger and jealousy that you still have your moms isn’t personal, I just wish I still had mine. So I’m sorry I’m so lost. I’m sorry I cant be the friend you need me to be, just know that if you’re ever in my shoes I will fight this battle with you because this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through in my life.

#personal #losing a parent #motherless #loss #grief #mental health

52 notes · View notes

shizzukku · 7 years ago

Text

BTS reaction: gf/bf/crush back hugging them while they’re brushing their teeth

ranmin10: BTS reaction when they were brushing there teeth in the morning and there GF decided to back-hug them sleepily and touch there stomach ?i think this shit is SUPER CUUUTTTEEE!!!!!!

Such a cute request *-* Thank you! - admin Evv

Jin

He wanted to make a surprise for you. Jin left dance practice early. On his way to home, he went to buy flowers and something to eat, all for you. He was happy that, finally, he’ll spend some time with you, alone, without his members, your friends or any other random eyes on you. He quietly opened the door. When he found you sleeping on the couch, he felt disappointed somehow. He was planning all day what he’d cook for you and what you two will be doing this night. But he couldn’t blame you that you fell asleep. He took you into his arms and carried you to your bedroom. A little bit disappointed he went to the bathroom to prepare himself for sleep. The last thing that he had to do was brushing his teeth. Still thinking about you, peacefully sleeping, he looked at the mirror. Your little body showed in the mirror. Jin was curious as to what you were doing so he just stood there and he was looking at you. When you came and only back hugged him, mumbling something about fairies and unicorns, Jin smiled widely and let you hug him till he’ll finished. It was the cutest thing he ever saw. His little, cute y/n. All his disappointment disappeared and all his love that he has for you fulfilled him inside. This small gesture assured him how he wants to spend rest of his life.

Yoongi

Their comeback is coming soon so he’s staying up till morning hours, always working on songs. This time he came back to home after 3 am. You were already asleep but you heard when he was closing door, even though he was trying hard to not wake you up, you heard everything. You decided to go to sleep, it was normal for you that he was coming back that late, so why should you care? But his heavy steps made you worried. You stood up and went to the bathroom. Yoongi didn’t notice when you walk in. When you saw his reflection in the mirror, your heart stopped. He looked like a ghost or zombie. Dark circles under his eyes which you didn’t notice earlier. Yoongi was tired, it had already been already 2 weeks that he was preparing everything for their comeback. You were half asleep but you wanted to comfort him so you lumber to him and back hugged Suga. At first he was surprised by your acting but after few seconds he started to be more and more relaxed because of your touch. The only thing that he wanted to do now, was going to the bed, lay down all night and all day with you in his arms. He would turn to you, give you a soft kiss and take your hand into his, walking straight to the bed.

Hoseok

It was a morning like others. Hobi woke up first like always. He knew that you liked to sleep in, so he wouldn’t wake you up. Before getting out of bed, he gave you a peck on the forehead and looked at you, thinking how beautiful you looked sleeping. Finally, when he took his eyes away from you, he went to complete his morning routine. He was happy and already hyped; the weather was nice, birds were singing, this day seemed to be great, and the most important thing: he woke up next to the person that he loves, which made his day perfect. Brushing teeth is boring. Hobi was dancing and trying to enjoy this activity. Then he felt someones hands playing with his shirt and his stomach. Similar touch made him laugh from happiness. He turned to you and gave you the most beautiful of his smiles. He made you lean back against the wall next to the washbasin. You didn’t know what was happening, you just woke up and you weren’t in contact with the world yet, so you didn’t pay too much attention on what your bf was doing. Hobi took your toothbrush and asked you to open your mouth. When you opened your mouth without hesitation, he laughed again how cute you looked when you were still half asleep. He put the toothbrush into your mouth and started to brush your teeth for his own. He was enjoying it to much, tbh but he didn’t want to hurt you so his moves would be really soft, he would treat you like a porcelain doll which can break after one bad move.

Namjoon

It was a very special day. Your 5th anniversary. You started dating before his debut. This relationship was going really good. You understood each other like no one else. You could talk about everything, laugh together and cry together. You two set up to meet in your favourite place, the park where you first met each other. But you had different plans. You called Namjoon to wake him up and say some cute words but the truth was that you were already outside his dorm. Jin let you in their dorm, he took all of the boys to leave you and Joonie alone. You were listening to every his move because you didn’t want to him to find out that you were there. Breakfast was already prepared by Jin, you only had to prepare roses, candles and all romantic things that came to your mind. Namjoon wanted to look perfect this day (like he doesn’t look like this every second). It took him awhile to prepare himself. Clothes, hair, jewellery, a gift for you. You were already tired of waiting so you went to look for what he was doing. Namjoon was in front of the mirror practising weird speeches. You didn’t know what the speech was about, but you randomly came up to hug him and said “yes” like he was proposing to you. He looked at your reflection in the mirror, smiling and showing him dimples. Namjoon wanted to act angry at you, that you came into bathroom without any permission, but he failed; he was just too happy and excited for today. Nj: Can I brush my teeth now? Yn: Yeeees - you said in the most cute way you could. Namjoon started to laugh because of your cuteness. You were so adorable. Nj: so, would you let me go? Yn: of course not, I won’t let you go. I want to stay like this forever. He didn’t mind it. He liked the feeling of your touch on his skin. This anniversary would be special, he knew this

Jimin

You were spending holidays in his parents house in Busan. His family loved you. They saw how much in love you two were and how much support you were giving him. His mother already treated you like her daughter-in-law. You were happy that they accepted you, same with Jimin. It was your first morning here. You woke up first but you were too busy looking at Jimin and playing with his hair to get out of bed. He woke up, looked at you and quietly said “good morning” and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. Finally Jimin stood up first. You were bored alone so you decided to go with him. Feeling your hands massaging his abs and your breath at his neck, he felt himself melt inside. Love filled all regions of his body. He gave you the sweetest smile that you ever saw from him. When he finished, he did the same thing with you. He just back hugged you, playing with your shirt and kissing your head. Jimin was really glad that he had someone like you by his side. Just small gestures you are making, smiles or words, were giving him much happiness. This moment didn’t last for too long. Because how long can someone be washing themselves for? Jimin told you to come back to bed. He went to the kitchen and prepared the best breakfast that he was able to make. He tried his best for you. He brought breakfast to you and you two ate in the bed. You were planning your time in Busan and even your future.

Taehyung

You two weren’t a couple, actually you two were friends, really close friends. You acted like a couple, but no one took the first step to ask the other one out. You were scared to dating a famous idol, and Tae didn’t want to destroy your friendship. It was the first time for you to stay over for a night in his dorm. You had a lot of fun. Playing games, watching movies, shopping online and gossiping about everything and everyone. This was perfect. You fell asleep next to Tae and he didn’t mind, so he just laid next to you and went to sleep too. He woke up first. Your face was snuggled in his neck and his hand was around your waist. He spent a few minutes looking at you, but he needed to solve his physiological problem, so he quickly stood up and went to the bathroom. You noticed it when he left your side, but you didn’t say anything. After a few minutes you felt alone; you felt so good, safe and loved in his arms, you wanted to feel like this again. So without thinking, you went to the bathroom where Tae was. He was in front of the mirror, all smiley and happy, like never before. He was there only with his body, his minds was in a different place. He was remembering last night; your smile, your laughter, your face when you were focused at the game. He got a little bit scared when you back hugged him. He felt like the luckiest boy in the world. You told him that you wanted to cuddle with him because you felt good in his arms. Tae’s heart pounded like crazy. It was the first time he didn’t know what to say. He felt good in your arms too, and he didn’t want to be only a friend for you. He turned to you and hugged you tightly. He said “I love you” in the deepest voice, straight to your ear. This quick back hug just ended your friendship and started something new, something filled with love, care and a lot of cuddles.

Jungkook

You two spend all night watching movies, playing games and just enjoying being together. You were awake till 4am. Maybe you would stay even longer but Omma Jin told you to go to sleep. The boys had a free day so you could spend all day together and sleep for how long you wanted. It was 2 pm and Jungkook woke up. All of the members already left the dorm to enjoy their free day. Jungkook wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t wake you up. You refused to get out of bed, so he decided to kick you out of there later. He woke up in a very good mood. He was singing, dancing and enjoying his bathroom routine (this sounds so weird). Jungkookie sang your favourite song which was “Butterfly”. When you heard his beautiful voice, you wanted to hear it more clearly. You went to the place where your bf was. He saw you; he just smiled and continued to singing with the toothbrush in his mouth. You came and hugged him from behind. It make him feel happy. Jungkook felt loved and he realized how much he loved you. It was only a hug and it made him the happiest person in the world. He was still singing, he took your hand, slowly pulling you to stand in front of him. You closed your eyes, enjoying his voice. He lifted you up, put you on the washbasin. His voice started to be more and more quiet. Suddenly he kissed you. It was a soft and mature kiss. After the kiss, you two just stared at each other. Words weren’t needed. Both of you knew what the other thought and felt.

720 notes · View notes