#I am so gay sometimes that I am shocked I do not have a rainbow halo

[happyk44]

Percy rarely goes to museums with Annabeth. For one, hearing her talking so passionately about things he doesn't understand (or care about) makes him horny. Two, he gets easily bored on museum tours and wanders away frequently, which irritates her. And three, as much as Annabeth loves explaining things to people and appreciates that Percy likes when she infodumps on him, she's always disappointed that he can't give back much, if anything at all.

He tries to engage and ask questions, and she'll specifically try to word her information in ways that make coming up with questions easy, but it's hard for the both of them, and sometimes it's not worth it, and despite both their best efforts, they can get frequently annoyed with each other on these trips, because Annabeth wants to take in everything at sometimes near glacial speeds just so she can hit every detail of what is offered, and Percy just wants to move from exhibit to exhibit at a steady, consistent pace, then get a hot dog from the cart outside.

Luckily Nico loves history, and arts. His passions don't always line up with Annabeth's and vice versa, but having dozens of conversations with various ghosts under his belt, he can match her energy really well. And she's always able to engage him, because even with shit she doesn't find particularly interesting, she still likes to learn.

So it doesn't come as much of a shock when Annabeth starts calling out that she's heading to opening of a new exhibit an art or history museum with Nico. Or that he's gonna take her to see some recent archaeological finds, or on a casual tour of some random country/city/town/village to scope out the architecture.

When this started while Annabeth was still living at camp, people used to laugh that Nico was her secret boyfriend. It was so funny because Annabeth and Percy are meant to be, written in the stars, and Nico is gay. But it was almost true.

She'd call their outings dates sometimes, and despite spending the whole day together they'd still spend hours talking in the grass afterwards, and she'd perk up just as excited to see him as she was to see Percy or Grover. Always ready to tell him about something new, or the answer to something they were both wondering about. If she saw him walking by, she'd call out to him - pausing in conversation to run up and say hi.

Which is why Percy isn't all that surprised when he comes home to their tiny studio apartment a few days after moving in to find Nico splayed out on the floor in front of the bed idly talking with Annabeth as a documentary on the civil war plays from a large monitor Annabeth took from camp and attached to her laptop, because they do not have the space for a TV.

It's a few months in when Nico shows up one afternoon with tickets to an art gallery in Spain. Annabeth isn't around, but Percy is and he grins widely when Nico tells him why he's there.

"You know if you weren't gay, Nico, I'd be worried you were trying to steal my girlfriend."

Nico fidgets rapidly in place. His thumbs tucks and untucks around the tickets in his hand. Then, he huffs, "Maybe I am."

And isn't that a thought.

Percy scratches the back of his head and throws on the kettle. Coffee tastes disgusting, no matter the amount of sugar and milk he throws in, but he won't deny the caffeine gives him that sweet clarity he's begun to get far too used to each morning. How Nico manages to take it straight black and oh so bitter is a mystery.

"Well, she is my girlfriend, so don't be surprised if she says no," he laughs, back to Nico as he pours a generous amount of ground beans into a cat mug, then a moderate amount into a mug from a pottery session with Estelle. They swapped cups afterwards so she got his "how manh different blue glazes can I fit on this" mug and he got her "so many rainbows and unicorns and they're all handdrawn and awful" mug.

It's one of his favourite things in the whole world.

"Who says she'd say no," Nico fires back when Percy hands him his cup of bitter darkness.

Percy adds far too many Splenda packets for one mediocre cup of coffee and considers that, leaning against the counter while the heat from his mug warms up his hands.

He takes a slow drink then answers, "Then I guess I'd want to see what all the hype is about."

They don't do museums. Percy takes Nico to some skateparks first. Nico is shit at balancing, but he tries anyway, and asks Percy about the different moves other skaters are doing. He doesn't talk much though, which Percy appreciates. He doesn't mind talking about what he likes, but there's also just a serenity in being able to observe, which Annabeth isn't the most akin to. She likes to learn, wants to know things, is almost militaristic in her need to acquire more and more information.

Percy just wants to be. Exist in tandem with the flow of the world.

They go to aquariums and zoos. At the aquariums Nico makes small comments here and there, and asks little questions like "Are they talking to you? How do they feel about living in an aquarium? Wouldn't it be bad to have sharks and small fish in the same tank?" Percy answers where he can. He likes telling Nico about all the things the different animals say about the people passing through. Nico laughs and groans and rolls his eyes at every fishy comment.

Zoos are more observatory, with Nico taking the lead for information. He mentions offhanded the better conditions of the animals than when he was young. Eyesight sharp, he points out the ones Percy can't spot, laughs when Percy recoils from creepy crawlers. Spiders are one thing. Giant roaches are a complete other thing. But Nico coos like they're kittens and jumps at the chance to touch and hold when it's offered.

He's much more tactile than Percy thought. Barely flinches when someone taps his shoulder to squeeze by. When the kids at the park help him readjust his passing or pull him up from a fall.

Doesn't shy away when Percy lets his hands drift to wrap around his. Just breathes a little shakier, but holds on.

They walk through cemeteries, and have picnics beside graves so old no one visits them anymore. Annabeth comes and wants to know everything about the person they're using as a backdrop. Nico indulges her without hesitation, and the sound of their voices flow into gentle background noise in Percy's ears. He talks when it strikes him. And when finally exhausted of her need to know things, she lays beside him, head on his chest. The ghost will shimmer out of view and Nico will tuck his knees to his chest, and smile down at them.

Sometimes Percy wants to pull him into the middle of them and keep him there.

Sometimes Annabeth wants to do the same.

Sometimes Nico wishes they would.

They're not incomplete without him. They love each other to end of the world and beyond, through treacherous walks in hell, through staring down gods and titans. Percy knows all her secret fears. Annabeth knows all his deepest loathings. They have date night dinners at cheap fast food restaurants because neither can tell the difference between a five dollar plate of pasta and a thirty dollar plate of pasta. They still get dressed up because it's fun to look fancy at a place that isn't, and because it's date night and they supposed to look nice on date night. They go to movies and make stupid jokes in the back of the theatre. He listens to her verbalize every thought she had on the film, all her meta and theories and grievances, and he easily gives back as good as he can because, hey, this isn't a boring museum where he has to look at a statue and pretend to have feelings about it.

But there's something about Nico that makes the world feel bigger. He's not a missing piece, and he's not a frame holding their picture together. He is not a need, not a requirement.

He's a visceral want, a desire, an enhancement.

No, the painting of horses above their front door wasn't necessary, but doesn't it make their apartment look better? Add a smile when it's seen? Feel right to have in that spot?

Doesn't it make their tiny studio feel like home?

"You should stay," Annabeth whispers one night. Percy's half asleep, vaguely aware that the movie he was dozing through had come to an end, credits rolling with peppy music echoing through Annabeth's speakers.

Nico is sat on the edge of the bed, never too close, not when the world is private between them. He lets Percy hold his hand in crowds, lets Annabeth loop their arms together. But when the world goes quiet and everybody else drifts off, he shifts away. Always so subtle. Releasing Percy's hand to pick up something or sort through his bag. Removing his arm to point at a picture. Shuffling out from under arms thrown over his shoulder to find a bathroom. Or get something to eat.

And he sits on the edge. Like there's a boundary wall keeping him out.

There isn't.

They would never put one up for him.

He doesn't answer as he slides to a stand.

"Spend the night," Annabeth insists, a little louder. She reaches for him, loose and weak. Not wanting to push. But wanting him anyway. Hopeful.

Nico turns and rubs the back of his neck. "I don't-"

"You don't have to cuddle," Percy murmurs. "Just." He leans over Annabeth's stomach and smoothly pats down the open spot beside her. "Sleep with us."

Nico fiddles with his hands. Then tilts his face away. The thin sliver of moonlight through the broken blind illuminates his him sweetly. Reflects the soft line of his jaw, and the nerves in his eyes.

"We're toeing the line," he says at last. The acknowledgement of their situation hangs heavy in the air. They've never talked about it before. "And I've been fine with that, but if I stay, then..."

What does it mean when the seventeen year old you've been going on faux dates with spends the night in your bed? If he leaves, he's just a friend. If he stays...

"What if we want the line to break?" Annabeth says and Percy hums an echo of an agreement. Black eyes go wide as Nico turns to face the two. "The line doesn't matter to me." Percy hums in agreement again. She reaches out for him, and so does Percy. "So just stay."

They still don't talk about it after Nico slowly slinks into their bed that night. They keep their distance at first but each night he stays, they creep closer and closer to him until one morning they finally wake up tangled against one another like human oragami.

But, no, there aren't any labels. There aren't any talks about what it all means, or who they are to each other. No talks about introductions, or secrecy.

There's no real need. They carry on as normal. And the changes that do happen, the shifts in dynamic, are too small to worry about. Nico's clothes finds space next to theirs. Percy fills the cat mug up with bitter darkness every morning that Nico awakes by his side. Annabeth drags him to museums and lectures. Percy laughs whenever he falls down at the park. They struggle to read aloud plaques about animal facts. Nico summons ghosts at cemetery picnics and sits tucked in between them, like the space there was made for him.

And when Annabeth kisses his cheek, just on the edge of his mouth, there's no shock or disturbed jealousy. Instead the image twists something pretty in the pit of Percy's stomach, and goes hotter the next time Nico returns her affections, this time clean on the lips. When Percy wraps his arms around Nico's waist and nibbles sleepily at his throat, Annabeth smiles gently and makes silly jokes about whether Percy wants a real breakfast, or if Nico's throat will be enough.

It reminds her of them in the early days of cohabitation, when Percy would slide up, sleepy, into her back, and nuzzle at her cheeks and neck and shoulders, and she'd flip pancakes, telling him food would be ready soon, that he didn't have to resort to cannibalism.

It's strangely comforting to see her life reflected on someone else. Maybe it's just because it's Nico. Nico who doesn't look at other girls like he looks at her, and Percy, and other pretty boys. Nico who corrects her and doesn't back down when she gets indignant because she hates being corrected. Nico who massages her ankle when it aches since it never healed quite right, and gentle nudges her bones and joints in proper place each time.

Nico who holds Percy back when he walks up clawing at the air from nightmares that still plague him, although they come by less and less. Nico who makes over-sugared coffee for him even though he thinks it's disgusting and an affront to the very nature of coffee. Nico who battles hard and meets Percy head on in every spar, no hold backs needed on either side.

Nico who slips into their bed more and more each night. Nico who lets them hold him when he cries. Nico who takes them to his family's grave so he can mourn his mother, his sister, and all the others he can just barely remember. Nico who doesn't hide from their curiosities. Nico who lets them rub ointments into old scars and bully him into resting when he's clearly tired but too stubborn to lay down.

Nico who they love, deeper than the ocean, and as unyielding as the strings on a loom.

They don't know what it really is between them - intense platonic polyamory, an interconnected romantic triad, a split romantic triad, a friends with benefits thing, an exclusive arrangement? Who know, who cares?

It's theirs - museum dates, and skatepark fails, and ghostly picnics, and stupid jokes in the dark of a theatre, and tangled mornings, and all.

[mattatouile]

It's Pride Month so let me tell you about my journey with my sexuality, and what a supportive family can mean:

I grew up in the EXTREMELY RURAL Bible Belt/gulf coast of the United States. My parents sort of ...nominally took us to Baptist Church until I was about 8.

However, despite being homeschooled in the woods and briefly being church people, my parents were not bigots. When I was six, I asked my mom if Elton John was married to Kiki Dee because I saw their music video together and my mom sort of took a breath and said that some boys want to marry and kiss other boys instead of girls, and that's what gay meant. And Friends introduced me to lesbianism so like, I kind of got it early on. I shrugged and said okay. This was 1994.

I spent 25 years of my life thinking that my fascination/affection for breasts and desire to maybe make out with other girls was just what ALL girls were like. Why would you not want to kiss other girls????? Baffling. But my default was still heterosexuality. I am very femme presenting. I enjoy a lot of stereotypical hetero things. Had a crush on my karate sensei (he was BEAUTIFUL and GOOFY and KIND) and then I had like five years of emotional fluffing with a queer man which was a mess in retrospect.

And then. I moved out of Louisiana.

I met someone (a bad idea woman, but a woman) and had my first torrid and horrible relationship. But that's fine. She introduced my wife. She's the reason I came out to myself and my parents.

My mom was concerned. For reasons that weren't really my sexuality, but which I read that way for a while and it hurt but I knew it wasn't personal it was just a shock. She didn't argue or convince me, she just didn't send me a rainbow cake immediately. And she wanted to be the one to tell my father who was working overseas, and wanted to wait for him to be home to do it.

His response? "Yeah, that checks out." 😂😂🥹 After that she was chill as could be. Idk I guess she psyched herself out about my dad of all people.

He almost immediately bought rainbow Crocs to wear around at his job to support his gay daughter.

My siblings all responded with a shade of either "didn't you always say you wanted to make out with Scully?" Or "huh, I thought it would be [my younger sister]."

I choose the label of lesbian for myself right now, because it's easier than "wlw who sometimes I like the looks of a guy but would rather have a colonoscopy than a conversation with him."

Do I have some trauma from being told I was disgusting just for supporting queer rights in my hometown? Probably.

I guess the point of this is, it wasn't even easy for me to come out, and I KNEW my parents would be totally fine with it. I cannot imagine how long it would've taken me to get to that point without a supportive family and open household. Like I really might've just been the spinster aunt who was "too picky" instead of being happily married to my wife. She's the best. My family is the best. My stepkid's are queer as hell, and we've done everything in our power to make sure they know any identity will be respected and supported and our families have joined us in that.

It's not hard, y'all. And I'm so sorry for everyone who is not treated this way. I love you. My parents love you. My mother would give you the biggest hug and a delicious meal. My dad would do that thing where he rubs his big toes together and tries not to cry because it hurts him that people have to live without support and love. You would be welcome in our home and hopefully shown what family should be.

I hope every single queer person on this site finds family. Family isn't blood. Family is safety. Family is support. Family is knowing that you are cared for, no matter your identity, who you love, etc.

Happy Pride everyone. And if it's not a Happy Pride for you yet, I hope some day you get to know that joy.

[explosionofdisbelief]

today i woke up and opened instagram, like i usually do, and the first post on my feed was from the Anti-Racism Daily (@/ardtakeaction) account posting about a nightclub shooting at a queer club. in my own city. it was a shocking way to learn about the news because for one, i never think of my city as being that noteworthy to end up on national outlets, and two it was a huge gut punch of a reminder that my little bubble is very far removed from the daily realities of life in my city.

i may have a skewed perception since i've lived in colorado most of my life, but it seems that we've had more than our fair share of mass shootings. first columbine, then the movie theatre shooting in aurora, and now this one. last night's shooting hits closest to home in more ways than one. literally, since it's a short drive from where i live. and also because it was a very targeted attack against the queer community.

i have never been to the club where the attack happened, but that doesn't matter. it was a safe space for queer people, one of few, in a city that is full of conservative evangelical spaces. at one point, this city held the headquarters of over 500 religious organizations. i don't know if that's true anymore, but that is a staggering number. it's also something that, living here day-to-day, is easy to forget. it's normal to see churches on every corner and get asked at a fast food drive-thru if you have a relationship with jesus (yeah, that happened to me once). for someone who's not religious, it's a bit of a trip sometimes.

i have to admit, i forget what colorado springs looks like to outsiders. and i get frustrated that the media's portrayal of this city is a one-note story of conservative evangelicalism and extremism. even the post where i found out the news about the shooting. because yeah, while colorado turned blue when obama became president and elected the first openly gay governor, colorado springs has always been red. and i understand that is what everyone sees from the outside. but i want to give you another angle. because that's not all that this city is.

i decided after hearing the news this morning i needed to get out and not just sit around and stew in my feelings. i was upset, and i knew just sitting and scrolling wouldn't be good for me. i live downtown, which is a bit of a liberal/queer oasis in this city, and if you only know colorado springs from what you hear on the news, you would never think this was the same place.

almost all the shops downtown are locally owned and many of them, including my favorite coffee shop, have pride flags hanging in their windows all year long. (this photo is from earlier this year, but there are still flags everywhere.) i went there today, and spent about an hour reading, which is something i do often. i saw many visibly queer people come in and out, as usual. but today i was more aware of them. most people probably wouldn't guess i'm queer just by looking at me (especially here), but i do feel a kinship with queer people i see out in the wild, even if it's just one-sided.

there is a queer club downtown as well (which i went to many moons ago before i knew i was queer myself), a burlesque club that hosts drag shows, a theatre that (before the pandemic) regularly hosted interactive showings of rocky horror, and a huge park that hosts the pride festival every summer. there is probably more, but i am very much an indoor girl so i don't know half of what goes on.

after i left the coffee shop i visited the tattered cover, one of my favorite bookstores, to pick up some books i had ordered. on my way in i almost ran into a very large, intimidating looking white man. he startled me (not hard to do), but then i saw his shirt. it was a pair of hands making a heart shape with a rainbow heart inside. i almost burst into tears right in the middle of the store 🥲 (i'm very emotional today, i can't help it). it felt more meaningful today than it would other days. i don't now if he was queer or not, but it didn't matter. the fact that he made the choice to wear that shirt today, in public, was a statement of support. a loud one.

after i picked up my books, i left right away to avoid any temptation of buying more 👀 (i have a problem)

but i want to mention one of my favorite things about this tattered cover location: in their romance section, they have a special subsection for lgbtq+ romance 🥰 they know their audience and make it easy for us to find the books we want! the first time i saw it, it made me feel so welcome. it's such a small thing to do, but makes such a difference to customers like me.

on my way home, i always people-watch. i put in my earbuds so i don't have to talk to anyone. today i was listening to a queer romance, because i needed something happy. i've been on a bit of a horror kick lately, and while i love it, today was not really the day for that

i crossed paths with a queer couple on the sidewalk. two women, holding hands and laughing, cuddling close together because it's cold today and neither of them had on a coat. i couldn't help but smile because they were so absorbed in each other. and of course, i almost started crying again (i really am a mess today, guys).

because even when the worst thing happens right in our own city, when we are targeted just for daring to be who we are, queer people still aren't afraid to be loud and proud.

i know a lot of the news you see today will focus on the hatred and the evangelicals and the maga crowd and the reason this tragedy happened in the first place. and that is important. because this didn't come out of nowhere. but i just wanted to offer a few little humanizing moments of my city to remind everyone that we are more than just that. this city is more than the hate-filled people that put us on the news, even if we are in the minority. we're still here.

[wistsandmagic]

Sometimes the 'expectations' of the yarn-workers' community irl astounds me. I had to go to Michael's this morning to pick up a special-order yarn that I have been waiting for FOREVER (as in like 5 months at this point) ...and while I was there I of course went to go look at the in-stock yarn. (CHRISTMAS SALES YES!!!)

Here I am, dressed in glittery jeans, my pseudo-binder and an Unnus Annus hoodie, baby-gay rainbow converse, bright-ass blue hair yanked up in a messy ponytail out of my face, transformers mask, and not exactly looking either feminine or masculine, puttering around with my cane and a few skeins of clearance cotton yarn in my arms. The looks I got this Sunday morning, let me tell you.

One sweet little old lady came up as I was digging through the crochet thread, trying to find the gauge I need, and asked me if I was looking for something for my 'sister or mother...or perhaps my girlfriend?' Because she'd be happy to help me find it. She was sweet and quite frankly thinking I was a dude was oddly gratifying, but...still. Dudes can't crochet? Or knit? Really? I told her it was for me and I had JUST found it, but she was so kind for asking if I needed help, and the look of UTTER SHOCK on her face was...disconcerting.

Another middle-aged lady was trying to find a very specific wool yarn. I heard her talking to herself trying to find it, and since I knew where it was, I told her. Her EXACT WORDS WERE "you must come here with your girlfriend a lot if you know that!" she wasn't being cruel, I don't think. But when I told her I knew because I used that yarn myself for a crochet blanket project, she looked dumbfounded.

Even the CASHIER told me I 'didn't look the type to work with yarn' when I went up to cash out. She was smiling and I think she meant it in a good way? She sounded very approving, but...what, exactly is the 'type' to work with yarn? Literally any-freakin'-body can do it if they want to. Men, women, third-gender, children, adults, teenagers, little old grandmas with knitting needles out the wazoo, young dads trying to keep track of rowdy toddlers, punks with mohawks and spiked collars, biker-dudes with more tattoos than bare skin, picture-perfect barbie girls, nerdy dudes with glasses, football jocks, flaming LGBTQA folks, children with clumsy fingers trying for the first time, the disabled in all our various forms, the neurodivergent in all our various modes, the happy, the sad, the sick, the well, IT DOES NOT MATTER. YARNCRAFT IS NOT A GATED COMMUNITY. Whether it's crochet, knitting, tatting, armenien lace, or something else, it doesn't matter. if you feel like working with yarn, you should be and are welcome.

Quit giving shocked looks when someone who doesn't fit your narrow ideal of someone who enjoys working with yarn in their hands buys yarn. Y'all are the reason so many people are afraid to TRY it, much like any other thing that doesn't fit some narrow 'ideal' of the 'type' of person for whatever it is.

I'm not displeased that people thought I was a dude. I'm nonbinary, if I manage androgynous when I am definitely female-body-shape leaning because I am chonk and I have boobs bigger than hell in a handbasket, I am happy! I'm not happy about the evident split-second judgement.

Be better. Period.

[jellorat]

Weird Masculine Interactions

We got moved over the last weekend. I've already been putting up shelves and setting things up. It's a small house, but more room than we've ever had. I'm carving out space for my wife and me to have our workspaces, living room, craft areas, and an entire (tiny) room for wardrobe/walk-in closet space.

I've also had to go to Lowes to get supplies several times. I transitioned from female to male 11 years ago. I am read as a cis-gendered man 100% of the time.

Today I was in the aisle with the screws and nails, and this boomer-aged white guy came down. I nodded an acknowledgment to him, and he refused to look at me and ignored my existence. In my area of the world, this doesn't happen that often between white men. Being white I can't say for folks that aren't.

He went out of his way to try and get the items he needed by reaching over me while seemingly acting as if I wasn't there. He was close enough I could smell him.

So while he was looking everywhere but at me, I took the time to look at him, and realized this was certainly not a trans issue, and he did not clock me. He was a white guy with a dress style that made me think it would not be shocking if he'd gone to the January 6th event.

In contrast, I was wearing a red denim jacket with a gold panel on the back and a self-designed phoenix with skulls on top of that. I was wearing stompy boots and had my sleeves partially rolled up showing a lot of ink on my arms. I also look very young for my age.

This guy was probably only 10-ish years older than me and was not so subtly making sure I knew he didn't like what he was seeing. I could see the look on his face when he thought I wasn't looking at him.

This is a dude thing. The head nod, the acknowledgment, and quick "what's up" etc tend to be the norm here. I suspect this man took exception to either the alternative nature of my fashion and probably thought I was very young and being judgemental about my perceived age, or he spotted the rainbow Fitbit band and assumed I was a gay dude.

When I first transitioned I assumed men that did this had clocked me, and figured out I was trans, but now I find this is a fascinating in-group, out-group behavior that American men engage in. He was making sure I knew I was not in his in-group, even for the 10 minutes we shared an aisle at a hardware store.

I would look to do some sociological studies on these behaviors. I think it's so taken for granted, but as a transgender man that transitioned at 40, I find it endlessly interesting.

It's not something I grew up with, and it's funny to me I am supposed to care what an aging cis-white boomer thinks of me. Sometimes when this happens these guys get frustrated that I don't care. Like I am supposed to care they are ignoring me with pointed energy.

[somuch-4-stardust]

umm still working really hard on midterms (i went to the store and got spiderman fairy light thingies) so now im gonna tell u about my very important studies (the other stuff i haveup next to my bed.) in very long list form bc i do not feel like taking a picture of it nd also its an ugly chaotic collection and its too much like me . and i think people would make fun of it .

technotooz's tag !!!! it is very beat up because i hate taking the tags off my stuffed animals (i cant explain this and also realized it was not common practice very recently and it shocked me) and so i had it on technotooz for like 7 months while i was taking him everywhere and his tag was getting smooshed . n e ways its super cool and shiny and pink nd i have it up because technotooz is my comfort object nd also SpIn. yippee <3

arctic monkeys logo ?!!?!this i painted this myself because thats howww i do things. it is up because i love the monkeys and their songs and musics and etc. yippee!

a picture of polar bears !? i love. bears especially polar bears. this picture was stolen from a calendar. yippee!!

a chain of . shiny things . this is up because i love shiny things and objects . it has shells and glitter and can tabs nd beads on it and its ugly and i love it. yippee !

minecraft logo ??!!! i love minecraft. it is my special interest so it is up becasue i like putting up pictures of myspecialinterests up on my wall so i can look at them. i got it from the tag of my stuffed piglin whos name is wilbur excalibur wiggles (we call him mr wiggles bc thats an absurd name for a piglin) . i got him for christmas and i love him lots and YIPPEE

red eyed treefrog poster . this poster is older than i am im pretty sure .it is cool and epic and i have it because frogs are my oldest SpIn and i love frogs. but poison dart frogs are actually my favorite not tree frogs. for the record. yippeeeeeee

moth tag. from my moth clementine it has a picture of her . she is a white moth stuffed animal my best friend got me for my birthday last year and i like moths alot so. yipeee!!!!

glow n the dark stars (2) these are stolen from a dance at my summer camp . i love my camp and my friends and etc and also glow n the dark stars are cool. YIPPEE!

rainbow flag sticker . i got this at my schools GSA which is a great little club where i feel better about my yucky school (its not that yucky of a school btw i live in a very good area. people are still mean sometimes tho.) and i am also. a gay person so yes yippee

spider man ..... this guy was cut out from spider man packaging for my spiderman lights. and its psiderman. and i love spider man. hes so me. so yippEE!!

ad for a squishmallow meet. it has the squishmallow logo on it and also i love squishmallows (they are. also a SpIn) so i put it up . YIPPEE

a lovely picture i drew of cwilbur and ctommy with belana the cow squishmallow and ronnie the cow squishmallow . call it a cross over episode ! i love my guys. also SpIns because. i have those. yes yes. YIPpee !

a wax seal from a little thing my friend made for me a while ago . the letter was a script from fnaf. 4 i think???? which is so yayy. ! i have it up to remind me that. i have friends ! yippeee!

coloring page of an asian black bear . i coloured it in myself btw. umm i love bears and moon bears. so thats why hes up. autism YIPPE

AND FINALLY . four of my squishmallows' tags. (purpled jack sage and belana. whose real names are piaxa jack skellington desmund and belana btw) i lov my guys. i put them on my wall yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!

side note. on other things on my wall: i have big lvjy lyrics from years ago (a drama in the futile a means to an end. and i do not know what song that isfrom tbh which is funny cuz ive listened to them all at least 500 times .) umm theres cat and mellohi made from old cds (which i may or may not have stolen from craft places . ) and also glow n the dark butterflies from when i was a kid. and star lights that were on sale last christmas. and ycgma, lemon boy, pebble brain, aya and two other albums i will not name which i painted like two summers ago. YIPPEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pixie-skull]

My WOMEN Celebrity cutie List

UPDATED JUNE 14th October 25, my men list in linked I updated and now to keep to three times challenge, here you go with 23 ladies, yes 7 x 3 = 21, but there too many cuties I need to see more in movies and tv. XD

I just wanted to make a list as a response to this and I will admit these ladies have not as in-depth reason, seeing how many there be. XD Also, I try to narrow down to ladies I like still or whatever reason. XP I claimed I could make a list of women celebrity three times the linked, so I am going to see if I can. XD I want to thank my family for introducing old films, yes 23 and I find couple beauties of old Hollywood well beautiful. The order not too important. Also, this list could continue, just thought off as many I have to admit in recent memory are attractive. XD ---

23. Audrey Hepburn (I find her beautiful with BOTH long and short hair, even her famous pixie cut so flattering on her. I admit she low on my list for she smoked and smoking I can never feel comfortable my significant other doing)

22. Mia Farrow (when younger, sadly few good gifs with short hair, bonus she voiced a character I liked The Last Unicorn)

21. Anna Paquin (fun fact she is bi, I have low on the list for she not in much I have seen)

20. Allison Hannigan (her haircut below so adorable, as Willow in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Lily* in How Met Your Mother were delightful performances)

19. Jamie Clayton (I have to see more movies/show with her :] )

18. Emilia Clarke (I have seen her in Me Before You, so outside the too long Game of Thrones, please suggest where else to watch her)

17. Zoe Saldana

16. Rosario Dawson

15. Natalie Portman (sorry to show her crying, but her with long hair and shaved are fun looks on her)

14. Laverne Cox

13. Anna Hathway

12. Freema Agyeman (I need more this cutie)

11. Demi Moore (I find her short hair so wonderful on her)

10. Cobie Smulders (she needs more love, so thank you Marvel films)

09. Winona Ryder (again an actress who can pull of short hair and yes not a requirement for me, but I do appreciate possible ideas for myself)

08. Lucy Liu (I need more of this freckled cutie ^_^ )

07.Emmy Rossum

06. Gina Torres 

05. Emma Waston

04. Cree Summer (I just need to hype on this actress and her beautiful voice acting)

03.  Morena Baccarin (her kiss to the fellow actress in Firefly made figuring out me so happy)

02. Ellen Page (her coming out made closeted at the time so happy)

01. Gal Gadot (she may be just getting popular, but she close to filling out my hopes for a cutie, I admit she was so close to being in zero place)

00. Drew Berrymore (she one of few actresses where I am convinced she can pull off any hair color/style, so please do not let my reoccurring use of Charlie’s Angels trick you, I just give credit to this early 2000′s movies as a thank you to my sexuality figuring out, bonus she is Bi)

---

*= I love this nod, also she cute in this gif.

MAY CHANGE OR UPDATE! =D

[pixie-skull]

My heart.

[absolutebl]

The Dark Side of BL

@weekendatennuis​ asked: 

Your BL curriculum breakdown today was *chef’s kiss* and the 10 cutest BLs was delightful but sometimes this little sunshine likes a little more heat and dark! 

Have you done a breakdown of the darker ones?

Ooo, thank you and this is interesting. Because I recently got Gaga, I’ve been working my way through their back catalogue which includes some of the most dark BLs ever made (Japanese, of course). 

How dark do you want it? Do you want a list of dark BLs that I still think are good and watchable? Or just a list of some of the darkest BLs ever? 

Here’s:

Top 10 BLs without an HEA still worth watching & 3 that will wreck you 

But these aren’t necessarily dark. However, those 10 are about what I would go with as my favorites. Since I don’t wallow much. I respect the need to wallow, though. So I guess I have to remove my taste and really play. 

I am not going to include betrayal shows (like My Bromance, In Between Seasons, Grey Rainbow, History3: Make Our Days Count where the “twist” is one of the characters dyeing unexpectedly) or the Doomed Gays of Chinese History (e.g. The Male Queen). 

Also, some of the following might not really qualify as BLs anymore. I did not include microfilms. If I remember where I saw it I included the source. 

The 10 Darkest BLs I’ve Ever Seen 

TRIGGER WARNING ON EVERYTHING!!! A lot of them are also VERY high heat. These are in order, starting with darkest/worst. 

1. The Shortest Distance series (Japan 2019-2020 GaGa) [1. The Shortest Distance is Round (Noir) AKA Saitankyori wa Mawari Kudokute; 2. The Shortest Distance is Round 2: Rain and Soda AKA Saitankyori wa Mawari Kudokute: Ame to Soda Mizu; 3. The Shortest Distance 3: Fallen Flowers AKA Saitankyori Wa Mawari Kudokute: Rakka Ryūsui] - OKAY SO this is the darkest BL I’ve ever seen, it’s so dark it pushes into absurdist. It gets to a point where you’re like: so he cuts off his own junk for love? Of course he does. What else would he do? It’s teacher/student, false accusation, hustler, explicit sex with multiple men, and includes abuse, rape, violence, and mutilation, possibly a few others as well. But seriously, by the final installment I was all *yawn* TRY to shock me, boys. 

2. Dangerous Drugs of Sex AKA Sei no Gekiyaku (Japan 2020 GaGa) - erm, right, so this is a suicidal man kidnapped right before he jumps and then kept and sexually tortured (high kink) by a doctor for... reasons. Explicit. Ends “happy” by some people’s standards. VegasPete the first installment. 

3. Double Mints (Japan 2017 GaGa) - codependency, murder gay, bullying, humiliation and torture kink, self mutilation, Yakuza violence, rape, attempted suicide. Ya know, whatever.  

4. Forbidden Love (Japan 2008 GaGa) - whipping boy trope, servant who grew up in the sinister mafia-esk family. Spoiled, rich, loose-cannon seme madly in love with the older, somber, moral-compass uke. Homophobic family, cheating, murder gay, incest, & necrophilia! Oh goodie.  

5. Boys Love the series (Japan 2006 YouTube) - murder gay, mild necrophilia, cheating, abuse, rape, and ends with suicide for love.

6. Boys Love the movie AKA Boys Love 2 Schoolboy Crush (Japan 2007 YouTube) - teacher/student, obsession, desperation, abuse, mutilation. 

7. Light (Taiwan 2021 GaGa) - ironically named movie about a street hustler (incest, rape, abuse survivor all depicted on screen) who falls in (and in love with) an undercover cop. 

8. A Round Trip to Love (2016 China YouTube) - 2 parts, obsession goes rotten in China’s favorite way: kidnapping, rape, and uke sacrifices himself into death for the sake of his abuser. Because how else could it possibly go? 

9. The Effect (Thailand 2019 YouTube) - classic uni-set Thai BL, seme falls madly in love with beautiful uke but it goes the way such kinds of obsession actually would in real life - into stalking, rape, abuse, accusations, and suicide.  

10. Red Wine on a Dark Night (Thailand 2015 DramaCool) - I think this might be meant to be a slasher flick but it comes of more as basically “baby is a murder gay” weeeeeee. 

Moody Arthouse Smackdoodle 

Some that are more moody and angsty and cerebral dealing with depression and the like with an edge of honest queerness. 

Your Name Engraved Herein (Taiwan 2020 Netflix) - this movie is fantastic but it is also seriously depressing, it’s a self acceptance journey, but if you wanna wallow in high quality acting and serious gay drama, this’ll do it. 

Goodbye Mother AKA Thua Me Con D (Vietnam 2019 Netflix) - like YNEH this is a great movie but it deals openly with homophobia, bashing, family trauma and social acceptance. 

For Love, We Can (Hong Kong 2014) - an indie movie about parental homophobia, light/dark pairing, and (of course) HIV. 

The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese AKA Kyuso wa Chizu no Yume wo Miru (Japan 2020) - obsession, cheating, breakup, reunion, then break up again, explicit. 

Pornographer movie series - AKA The Novelist, Mood Indigo, Pornographer Playback (Japan 2018-2020) emotional manipulation, cheating, obsession, seduction, May/December (age gap AKA younger/older), kink, touch of necrophilia, explicit.   

Method (Korea 2017) - May/December, actor idol pairing, that should have been everything I wanted in life but it’s more about the actor cheating on his wife and their weird “artsy” relationship and frankly, I hated this. And I don’t say that lightly. 

Itsuka no Kimi e (Japan 2007 YouTube) - okay this is basically about a college student who saves this boy from drowning and then gets embroiled in his, and his identical twin’s messed up lives. It goes very weird.

His the series AKA I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love (Japan 2019) - boy goes to visit his absent father ends up kinda homeless on the beach gets adopted by local family falls in love with the boy working and living with them. Lots of long drawn out glances. 

Innocent (Taiwan 2021 GaGa) - mental health, childhood trauma, actually kinda sweet. 

Okay But Make it Really BL-ish 

These are all more BL with a strong representative sampling of darker themes and problematic yaoi tropes. So if you are enjoying Utsukushii Kare then these are worth investigating. In thematic order. 

Does the Flower Bloom? (Japan 2018 YouTube) - bridging the gap to the arthouse style this is a May/December romance about an artist student and the house he inherits from his recently dead parents and all the people around him who are obsessed with him, including an older man. 

Takumi-Kun (Japan 2007-2011 YouTube) - series features all the problematic tropes and watches almost exactly like yaoi reads, the leads do have good chemistry, though. Includes incest, abuse, dub-con, and obsession.

Addicted Heroin (China 2016 Viki) - unfinished due to censorship but still very good, well acted and shot, high school set, rich kid falls madly for the genius poor kid in his class, starts an aggressive pursuit, includes kidnapping for love, obsession, stepbrother trope, plus some cheating. I love this one. 

Capture Lover (China 2020 Viki) - the ending is a touch confusing but basically this is the rich kid seme with nothing better to do, put to work in an office, falls hard for the strict boss, moves himself in and aggressively seduces him. Like a grown up Addicted. (Features Han Jing Chen, China’s Singto.) 

River Knows Fish Heart (China 2018 GaGa) - this BL managed to sneak by the censors probably because it’s not very well acted and low budget. It’s also in Addicted territory, only this time with the jock who falls madly for the nerd and then just moves into his house to takes over his life. The tsundere uke is VERY tsundere and the seme is hella pushy so it goes right into dubcon territory but also it’s very teen angst about it.  

Irresistible Love: Secrets of the Valet 1 & 2 (China 2016 YouTube) - 2 parts, I not-so-secretly love this BL. Kidnapping, whipping boy, obsession, mutilation, very hard fought happy ending (in one version). Absolutely classic Chinese BL pre-censorship. 

Legend of Long Yang AKA Rebirth (China 2017 GaGa) - whipping boy trope... literally, servant character takes the strap for the prince, who then makes him his bodyguard and lover when he becomes king. Low budget historical, comes off as kind of cosplay wuxia version of Irresistible Love, but we get (in the credits) an actual kiss, and they both live. So yay for small mercies. 

HIStory Obsessed (Taiwan 2017 Viki) - the softest version of the world’s most problematic yaoi tropes, while still managing to be those tropes. 

HIStory 4: Close to You (Taiwan 2021 Viki) the side dish plot is basically a pastiche of problematic BL tropes inherited from the above. Great chemistry, high heat, stepbrothers, dubcon, obsession, stalker etc... 

You might also try some of the ones I really loved but are only borderline BL (no cheese, no cringe, no smarm) 

Not Me (Thailand) 

Manner of Death (Thailand) 

3 Will be Free (Thailand) 

Triage (Thailand) 

Love Mechanics (Thailand) 

I Told Sunset About You (Thailand) 

Old Fashion Cupcake (Japan) 

Life: Love On The Line director’s cut (Japan) 

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (Japan) 

Restart After Come Back Home (Japan)

Blueming (Korea) 

Long Time No See (Korea) 

To My Star (Korea) 

Ocean Likes Me (Korea) 

DNA Says Love You (Taiwan) 

(source)

[pixie-skull]

APPRECIATION TO SHE-HULK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ofd7NRb-8gY

I am not sorry, I just to give more credit to this green beauty. O.O Like she clearly still so much on my mind and I want to show my love for this beauty. Jennifer Walters needs more love. :D I do blame The Incredible Hulk: Animated series, for my crush on this character and bonus her voice actress Cree Summer. I mean the cartoon show knew how to draw her the right amount of femme and muscle. MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE BRING MY LADY ON THE BUG SCREEN PLEASE!

^ Whoever these two cosplayers are (or the last woman posing as her), thank you so much.

THE COSPLAYER AT NUMBER 23

Please read this article and share what you think? I can see why Mark Ruffalo say who he did as She-Hulk, but my Jennifer Walters is not just funny and beautiful, she has so much more. However, this casting choice and this list here seems closer to what could work to me of the few actresses who want to play the Emerald beauty. I am fully aware in the comics (even though PLEASE send comic storylines of which she appears in, for me to read) she is heterosexual or straight, does not stop me from liking her. <3

[atpaftmoom-bily]

Thoughts about Erik, why Wilhelm wasn't allowed to come out, and more.

Be warned, this is long, confusing, and I'm not even sure if I made any valid points. But I had thoughts on Young Royals, with no one to talk to, so here you go.

I've seen various different takes on Erik and what people thought his reaction would have been if Willie had come out to him, most of them being positive, and some as well saying how sad it was that Willie never got to come out to his brother. I have a different take, but bear with me it's gonna take a second to get there.

Something that I found interesting in the first place was that when August found out it was Simon and not a girl, he just seemed shocked, but not in a homophobic way that I had kind of been expecting.

Additionally, let's take a look at the comments on the video, I've split them up into three different groups. General comments (disbelief, surprise, pity, etc.), comments sexualizing them, and negative comments. (I've translated these as well as I could as they were not all captioned, but if I've made a mistake feel free to let me know!)

General Comments "OMG Have you seen this?? The Prince is gay!!!!" "Who's the other guy?" "I'm dead" "Finally some news to put Sweden on the map!" "Poor boys, I feel sorry for them" "So clumsy to get caught on film" "I know where he lives!" "I think the video is fake" "Love for the boys"

Sexualizing Comments "Royal porn" "Sexy" "Love" "Sexiest video ever"

Negative Comments "How will the monarchy survive this?" "The end of the royal family, time for Sweden to become a republic!" "Never been ashamed about being Swedish until now" "Class traitor! Your mother cries for your sins"

Now, there are quite a few things I want to point out about Sweden that I feel should be taken into account here. Of course, we don't know the exact dates that the show took place, but we do know it is modern-day, and though it is a work of fiction, I am going to assume that anything that is currently true in Sweden at the moment, give or take a few years, would also be true in the Young Royals universe.

The first point I would like to make is that Sweden is one of the most LGBT-friendly countries, even being named the most friendly country in 2019. Looking back in history, 1944 was when Sweden decriminalized sexual relationships between consenting adults of the same sex, though it was still thought to be an illness. However, in 1979 it was no longer considered an illness. Fun unrelated fact, but Sweden was the first country to legalize gender change in 1979. (If you'd like to read more on LGBT rights in Sweden here are some resources. One. Two.) If Sweden is that progressive and is that LGBT-friendly, then I wondered what the problem was with Willie coming out, so I dug some more.

I'm American, so my understanding of many parts of the world is unfortunately skewed or incomplete, but I'm working on changing that. However, because of this, one thing that surprised me in my research was that the monarchy in Sweden is more of a unifying symbol than anything else. They have no political affinity or formal powers, but rather "the King’s duties are mainly of a ceremonial and representative nature." Of course in the case of Young Royals, the Queen inherited the throne, and Wilhelm would after her.

Something else I found interesting about the monarchy in Sweden is that the current Queen, Queen Silvia, did not come from a line of nobility, so when Queen Silvia and King Carl Gustaf married in 1976, it was highly unusual. (See more on the Swedish monarchy here.)

There is one last thing I want to point out about the current King and Queen. "In summer 2000, King Carl XVI Gustaf and Queen Silvia of Sweden made history when they ate under the rainbow flag at Djurgårdsterrassen, a Stockholm restaurant owned by gay owner Arto Winter. At that time, the decision was seen as controversial, and played a valuable role in moving conversations forward – while making the royals’ position abundantly clear." (Source)

Now, of course, I understand the difference between a fictional work and real-life situations, but at least in my opinion, these same ideals should carry through to the show that we see. If the King and Queen in real life have been openly supportive of the LGBT community since at least 2000, then although specifics might not be the same, some of those ideals should carry through to Young Royals, so what is the problem, right?

I'm not trying to erase the reality of homophobia altogether, because of course, that exists. We even see in the show through comments that there are some people who are worried about the state of the monarchy, are disgusted, or downright still think that not being straight is a sin, but we also see other comments as well. If Wilhelm were to come out, what would happen? Would there be some backlash? 100%. Would there be people who would support him? Also 100%. Would it make his life harder? Probably, but would he be happier? In my opinion, yes, but I guess that's a question that Wilhelm would have to gauge on his own.

Now I want to look deeper at the conversation that Wille has with his mother, the Queen, in the car on the way home so he can give a statement to the media. Below is an excerpt from their dialogue.

---

Wilhelm: Why can't I just have a relationship with him? And not say anything. Just live a normal life.

Queen: You're the crown prince. And that's a privilege, not a punishment.

Wilhelm: Yes, but I didn't ask for this!

Queen: Well, nobody has ever, ever asked for this! You are the only one who can take over the throne after Erik. Don't you understand that? You are so young. When you're young, love feels like the most important thing in the whole world. When I was your age, I too had an unfortunate romance. That was before I met your father. What I mean is, is it worth it? If you feel that the attention you've been getting so far is unacceptable, it's nothing compared to what you will endure for the rest of your life. We have a chance to cover this up, I urge you to take that chance. You may not get another."

---

Something I find interesting is how much Willie just wants to live a normal life, which I get. He is under so much pressure, from being a role model, his brother's death that he hasn't even had time to process, preparing to be king someday, and (kind of) being outed to the entire world, but at least his school. It's enough to make anyone want to live normally. I think the biggest thing we have to think about here is the Queen's question as well. Is it worth it? She is right of course, the attention he will get will always be there, but I do think that Willie would be able to find a way to be happy along with being King. It shouldn't have to be a case of either-or, and ultimately I don't think it is.

Now I'm going to move back to Erik, and really, this ties everything back to the start where I mentioned I had a different take on Erik's reaction to Willie being not straight. I think that Erik already knew. It would make sense for a variety of reasons. In the show, it is obvious that the two of them have a good relationship. We also hear Erik tell Willie, "you can trust him, he's like a brother," in episode one when speaking about August, showing that trust is something strong between them as brothers. I'm not exactly sure how old Wilhelm is meant to be in the show, but I estimate somewhere around sixteen. I would like to assume that sometime before attending Hillerska, he may have had a crush or felt some attraction to a guy. We also can see from their phone call in episode three, that they're not afraid to joke around with each other about such things, meaning that Erik would most likely be the first person that Willie would go to about such things.

Another thing that makes me believe Erik already knew has to do with people assuming that Simon is the first guy that Willie has liked. Now, I know things are not the same for everyone, but if we consider what happens when the video is posted, and Willie had to deny it is him, we can conclude that being anything other than straight in their family is not okay, simply because they are royals, and the media attention will be too much. Imagine you've known your whole life, you can't be something, the first instance you encounter that, you're probably not going to give in right away. I'm talking at least some minor internalized homophobia here or something.

So put that into the context of Simon and Willie's first kiss in episode two. Simon kisses Willie twice before Willie says "Well, I'm not... I'm not... Stop! Wait, wait, wait!" and immediately pulls Simon back towards him. Let's reflect back to episode one where Willie says "I’m not… I’m not allowed to speak about political issues." I'm not allowed. Of course, there are TONS of restrictions on what he can and can not do, kissing guys, probably being one of them. But if he was going to say I'm not gay or I'm not like that, why would he instantly pull him back in, contrasting what he was just going to say. In episode three, Willie does say, "I'm not like that," which makes sense. He's had time to think and isn't in the heat of the moment. What other explanation can he give? Sure, he could say he's not allowed to be like that but saying that would admit that he is. It's a circle, a very messy circle, but it is a... loop.

Going back to what I'm supposed to be talking about here, Erik. This isn't Willie's first rodeo, but Erik was there for the first. One last thing I want to talk about is the phone call that Erik and Willie have in episode three. Below is an excerpt from their dialogue.

---

Erik: You've met someone.

Wilhelm: I, uh... Yes, okay, but I... I don't think we're a couple or anything. I don't know what it is but can we just...

Erik: I get it. I get it. You don't have to tell me any... I don't wanna hear any details. Hey. Willie, enjoy yourself. Soon enough people will start having opinions and-

Wilhelm: They don't care about me. 'Cause you're the Crown Prince that they have opinions.

Erik: I don't get it. Why are you sitting in your room sulking when you have a crush to hang out with?

---

Firstly, Erik refers to Willie's crush as completely gender-neutral. "You've met someone" could very easily be "you've met a girl". The same goes for "you have a crush to hang out with". Very well could have been "you have a girl to hang out with". Sure, it could be completely coincidental, but we live in such a heteronormative society that it would just make sense for Erik to use female-gendered words. Unless, of course, he knew.

Secondly, "Hey. Willie, enjoy yourself. Soon enough people will start having opinions". This sounds very much to me like, enjoy your time while you can be yourself without backlash because soon you won't have that privacy. While I feel that, yes, the same may happen with anyone Willie was to date, him having a same-sex partner multiplies that, by a lot.

In conclusion, Erik knew Willie was not straight, Willie should come out, but when he is ready, and August is a really deep character that people don't give enough credit to. Gosh, I hope I covered everything, I probably forgot so much, but it's fine. Please let me know your thoughts if you've made it this far into the post.

One last thing. I hope you'll notice how in this post, I never referred specifically to Wilhelm's sexuality, and I did that for a reason. I often see gay used to label him, and though I am unsure if that's being used as an umbrella term or specifically as in he only likes men, I think it's really important to realize that they're specifically making him unlabeled. In this youtube video Edvin Ryding, the actor who plays Wilhelm, says "What we're trying to do... We're not labeling Wilhelm's sexuality. I think that's good because it's like, it portrays that it's okay that way too. You don't have to. You shouldn't have to come out. It should be allowed to be a bit fluid, a bit out there." I just think that it is important as it's another type of representation that is not seen often.

[deadmandairyland]

Hi! I’m here to bring you yet another Danganronpa tier list: the sexuality tier list, which you can find here.

Now I’m going to be honest here: I don’t really have any LGBT headcanons. It’s just not really something I focus on much when it comes to fandoms. Instead I usually just focus on ships, and as a result from that I tend to present a lot of characters as LGBT in fanfictions and posts I’ve made or reblogged. In other words, a massive chunk of my “headcanons” here are a direct result of shipping (as well as information I’ve picked up from the games themselves). That being said, it was interesting to actually think about this for once, so I’m kinda glad I did the tier list. And it gave me an excuse to bring back the rainbow color scheme I usually put in my tier lists for aesthetic reasons.

The original tier list had Straight at the top, but I moved it to the bottom for two reasons. One, this is Tumblr and that’s not what you’re here for. Two, I gave it a neutral color, and having a gray section next to a white section (i.e. the title of the list) like that looked bad to me. I definitely prefer this setup just on aesthetic alone.

Because this is largely based on ships, I feel it needs to be said that representation does not factor into this chart in any way. I know it probably looks bad that the only character in the Lesbian category is one of my least favorite (though NOT hated or even disliked, I should point out) characters in the main series. That has nothing to do with the fact that she’s a lesbian. She’s just a jerk, and usually not in a way that’s at least entertaining enough for me to like her.

Also keep in mind that this is just the main cast of the main series games. If you were to include characters from the DR3 anime, UDG, or the spin-offs, the Gay, Lesbian, and Ace categories would get more rep, certainly. Think Juzo, Yui, Takemichi, that gay guy with the trumpet, etc.

With that said, let’s go through the list:

Gay

Not gonna lie, one of the reasons why Rantaro is here (and not in Ace) is because of ships. Though I do sometimes ship him with girls, canon suggests he’s not interested in dating girls, and most fans seem to headcanon him as either gay or ace because of this, so I respected that. That being said, I also acknowledge he’s a very popular character in mlm ships, and at the time I was putting this together I hadn’t gotten to Taka yet so the Gay tier was still empty, and Byakuya was already sitting in Ace, so all of that swayed me to putting Rantaro here instead of Ace.

Taka was much easier to place here. He strikes me as a closeted gay man who probably doesn’t even realize he is gay. “Hey, let’s all hang out in the bath, guys! Getting naked is essential to form bonds with your fellow man! No need to be ashamed, it’s tradition!"

Lesbian

Again, ships. I only ship Hiyoko with one other character, and as soon as I say that you already know who she is.

Bisexual (Male Preference)

Akane is mostly here to account for any wlw ships I may have of her (e.g. Hina, Sonia maybe). Obviously she has a thing with Nekomaru, so Male Preference.

Chiaki is here for the same reason as Akane. I’ve shipped her with characters like Sonia and Ibuki before, but she really digs Hajime.

Chihiro honestly could have been anywhere in the Bi and Pan sections, but I ultimately went with Male Preference because of ships, specifically the fact that outside of the more... R18 circles of the Interwebs Chihiro tends to be shipped with guys more often than girls. Also doesn’t hurt that my OTP is Naehiro. I mean, have you seen how often Chihiro blushes around Makoto? (There’s more to it than that, as I’ve covered in the past. I’m just trying to add more fuel to the fire.)

Himiko is probably one of the few characters that isn’t here mainly because of ships. I do think she has some attachment towards Tenko, but I also get “I’m uncomfortable around her” vibes from her, and there are moments where she seems to crush on Kokichi (of all people) so that’s why she’s here. Still very much bi, though.

Hina has a crush on Makoto and has a complex around wishing she was more feminine so she can attract boys. So why isn’t she in the Straight section? ...Because Sakura, duh. And Kyoko too. And any other wlw ship you can think of that might work with Hina.

Honestly if it wasn’t for Miu I probably would have considered putting Kokichi in Gay. Again, while shipping plays a big part of my choices here, much like with Rantaro I have no qualms with putting a character in a tier that contradicts any ships I might have with that character, if those ships aren’t something I’m super invested in. This is a very important distinction, because it’s why I let ships sway my hand for so many of these even if I am also okay with going “Just because I ship this doesn’t mean I headcanon it” as I did with Rantaro. And honestly Kokichi’s ship teasing with Himiko does come off as more trollish than a sign that he’s into her, but he really gets into his back-and-forth with Miu, in my personal opinion, and he gets into it far more often with her for that matter. It’s why it’s one of my favorite ships for both of them tbh, and it’s because I like the ship so much that I just can’t ignore it for this sexuality headcanon tier list.

Maki... is here because of ships (e.g. Kaede).

Sakura... is here because of ships (e.g. Hina). ...What, you were expecting me to put a guy in the example? Remember, she has a boyfriend in canon.

Sayaka... is here because of... NOT ships, but DRAT. Yes, really. (”We really got down and dirty, Naegi-kun.”)

Sonia... strikes me as someone who swings both ways. I can’t describe exactly why I feel that way, but yes.

Bisexual (No Preference)

Celeste wants a harem of vampire boys but shipping her with Kyoko is also very popular and honestly i feel like it would fit her character. She’s got a look that says “I could get any ass I want and I know it.”

Ibuki is decked out in blues and pinks, and also I ship her fairly evenly among both boys and girls. She just screams bi icon to me, more so than any other character in the series.

Junko is either bi with no preferences or pan. She is an equal opportunity heart-and-soul-breaker and lust-for-despair machine.

There is no Mukuro in this list, but honestly I would probably put her where I put Junko anyway.

Kaede... is here because of ships (e.g. Miu, Maki)

Honestly I had no idea where to put Kirumi, so I just randomly chose one that I wouldn’t regret later if I ever put more thought into who I shipped her with.

I’m pretty sure Nagito being bisexual has some degree of canon attached to it??? I think??? I’m not entirely sure tbh, but fuck it. I’m doing this for fun anyway, so this doesn’t really matter.

Shuichi, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. I also find him to be more shippable with guys than the other two protags, so IMO he has no preference.

Toko might have a thing or two for pretty boys, but... Komaru, I mean, this isn’t exactly shocking, I don’t think. Probably was closeted before she met Komaru. I mean she did focus on Hina’s boobs a lot in DR1, let’s not forget.

Tsumugi, much like Kirumi, is here because I haven’t put much thought into her ships.

Bisexual (Female Preference)

Gundham has a thing with Sonia in canon, but I can see him being bi. So... yeah, ships again.

Hajime, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. It’s just that his Chiaki and Mikan game is just too strong.

Hifumi might claim to only like 2D, but his interest in Chihiro both in human form and computer program form (and the fact that this didn’t go away after the gender reveal) places him here.

Kaito strikes me as a closeted bisexual. The kind that could start any given conversation with “I’m not gay, but...”

Kazuichi also strikes me as a closeted bisexual, only his “I’m not gay, but...” is rooted more in dumbass than it is in systematic homophobia.

Korekiyo... is here because of ships (e.g. Rantaro).

Kyoko is bi as fuck, and I can see her having a preference towards girls in particular. She gets shipped with girls a lot (e.g. Celeste, Hina, Yui, and even Junko and Mukuro), and when she is shipped with boys it’s usually just pretty boys (e.g. Makoto, Byakuya, Ryota, Shuichi, and, depending on your interpretation, Chihiro). Also note that aside from Makoto and maybe Byakuya, Kyoko’s girl ships are far more popular than her boy ships. Just something I’ve noticed over the years.

Leon... is here because of ships (e.g. Chihiro).

Mahiru is here because I’m pretty sure she has a thing for Hajime in her FTEs, but obviously she tends to get shipped with girls more often (especially Hiyoko), and I agree.

Makoto, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. It’s just that his Kyoko, Hina, Sayaka, and Mukuro game is just too strong.

Mikan may be interested in Hajime somewhat, but her obsession with Junko cannot be ignored, no matter how much some of you may want to.

Mondo is another character that strikes me as a closeted bisexual. He is said to strike out all the time with girls, so I do think he’s attracted to women. And I do get some vibes that he’s attracted to Chihiro pre-reveal. And if circumstances had been different, I imagine he probably still would have been post-reveal. But obviously it’s his bond with Taka that I feel cements his sexuality in, at the very least, an mlm category.

Tenko... is here NOT because of ships, but because I’m pretty sure she’s at least sort of interested in Shuichi because of some canon thing... and also I don’t want to put her in Lesbian just because it feels like I’d be stereotyping the Lesbian category if I do that. If we were to compare her to the character that I did put in Lesbian, Hiyoko doesn’t treat people like shit because they’re men, she’s an equal-opportunity asshole. Still not the best representation for lesbians by a long shot, but at least Hiyoko doesn’t follow the stereotype of a man-hating lesbian. She’s just like that, and that’s okay. But putting Tenko there, especially if she’s shown some degree of interest in a male character at some point in the game, just rubs me the wrong way personally, because it would feel like I’m ignoring canon just to stereotype her. But that’s just a personal hang up of mine. No disrespect intended toward anyone who genuinely feels that Tenko is a lesbian. Maybe you see something there that I don’t, and that’s perfectly fine.

Pansexual

I don’t remember exactly how her FTEs went, so I’m not going to get into that, but Angie just comes off as pan to me, like gender doesn’t fit into the equation at all for her.

Gonta I can see as either pan or ace. I feel like he wouldn’t care about gender, and honestly the only reason I decided to put him in Pan rather than Ace is because of that scene with Miu.

Imposter is not only pan, they are currently OT3ing it up with Ibuki and Ryota as we speak, and that’s a fact.

Keebo... is mostly here because of ships. A lot of ships, actually. Mostly male ships (Kokichi, Shuichi, Kazuichi, and, depending on your interpretation, Chihiro) but there’s also Miu to consider. And the Miu game is SO strong that I put him in Pan instead of, say, Male Preference.

Just gonna lump them together because I have the same thing to say about both of them: Miu and Teruteru would **** anything that walks. What did I censor? Well, I’m doing the Nier: Automata thing, so you can put whatever you want in there and trust me, it would probably fit, for better or for worse.

Ace

I know this is an unpopular opinion, because Naegami, but I just don’t think Byakuya is interested in anyone, at least not in that way. He might be fascinated with how common people live, because it’s so foreign to him, but that’s about it.

Straight

Even though I do ship Fuyuhiko with some of the boys, his Peko game is so strong that honestly I can’t see him actually dating anyone aside from Peko outside of some very niche fanfiction.

Honestly, Hiro was another one that I was just like “I have no idea what to do with you.” I think maybe his team up with Kanon made me eventually choose to put him in Straight? I don’t remember. I clearly didn’t put much thought into Hiro.

I really only ship Nekomaru with Akane, so that’s why he’s here. I’m sure if I dive deep enough into my psyche I can pull an mlm ship with Nekomaru in it out of my ass, but like Rantaro that wouldn’t be significant enough to change anything.

Peko is in the same boat as Fuyuhiko. I have shipped her with girls before, but her Fuyuhiko game is just too strong.

Ryoma had a girlfriend once, and as far as I can remember he didn’t really seem interested in anybody in the game, so that’s all I have to go off of for him.

-----

So there you have it. Explanations for literally all of them! Explanations that were definitely not pulled out of my ass as I was typing them, nope, certainly not. Definitely won’t be tagging all of them, but I may tag the ones with the longest entries. And like all the tier lists I’ve done, this was just for fun and honestly any opinion I have for any of these characters could change at a moment’s notice because my brain is fickle like that. Tried my best to make sure that every tier had at least one character in it, but I did so without trying to force characters in places that I personally did not believe they should go. I hope you all enjoyed my dive into this area of fandom that I rarely dive into (the LGBT headcanons, not the ships, obviously). It was a lot of fun, and hopefully it will stay fun and not result in angry anons blasting me for my opinions. I am grateful that this never seems to happen to me, but I’ve seen it happen to others and I know what Tumblr is capable of at its worst. These are just headcanons and a matter of personal opinion, and if you disagree with them, that’s perfectly okay. Your feelings and opinions are also valid.

[my-darling-boy]

hello alastair! wondering if you can give some advice... I am fairly certain I am not cis female, but the dream career I am working towards is *very* concerned with physical appearance and unfortunately many of the people in this field are extremely conservative. I have come so far in pursuing my dreams—I honestly am shocked that I’ve been as successful as I have—but I am afraid that if I come out all of that will crumble. I am also not sure if I actually feel transmasc or if I am just nonbinary & tired of sexual harassment. I would love to hear how you knew you were transmasc as well any advice you might give for whether or not it’s a good idea to come out. thank you so much ♥️

First of all, I’m sorry you’ve been put into that kind of difficult position :(

Explaining how I knew I was a trans man is kind of difficult? Since gender and the way we figure ourselves out is a very socially oriented thing, I lack perception there since I’m autistic. For a long time, I never understood society had attached genders to clothing, toys, music, or hobbies. I didn’t even understand society had attached certain body parts and pronouns to genders! As a young kid, I simply just felt like a Person, no matter what pronouns I was called as a child. All I knew was that every time I saw what society referred to as boys, I’d think “OH that’s me! This is a direct reflection of myself!” Without words, I was always identifying with men before I...technically even knew what men were? From an early age, though I was friends with cis girls, I had mostly cis male friends because I knew I was them, not like them. But I didn’t understand why I couldn’t use the same bathroom as them or stay over at their houses. I thought, “But wait, I’m one of them... why aren’t they seeing me as exactly one of them? What’s different about me?” And tbh it wasn’t until I was about 8 when I started figuring out what genders were and that I wasn’t being perceived as a boy, and you can imagine my shock :’) I’ve only ever really known myself as a man, I didn’t suffer from dysphoria because I just didn’t think certain body parts on me were recalling my birth gender, so there wasn’t any discomfort to feel; my body parts were on me, and I’m a man so... they’re male body parts? Dysphoria isn’t compatible with the way I’ve always seen myself, and neither are a lot of the social reference points I see present in other trans people using like “gender envy” for instance. I don’t think the language available to me to describe how I knew does me any justice. It’s not that I’ve “always known” since I popped out, but at the same time, I didn’t feel I “figured it out” in the traditional sense. My male identity has always felt innate to me, for even when I had no word for it initially, the feeling was always present. I find it’s the same way you don’t have to know what lungs are to feel yourself breathe, your body just knows.

So, I guess an important part of figuring out your gender if you feel on the fence: sometimes we get so wrapped up in our outward presentation, what others think of us, social obligations, gender roles, etc, that we forget we need to look inwards too. I was lucky and was able to develop in my own little bubble which social constructs were not able to get through to sway me as a child, and because of all that introspection, unaware if the way I was presenting was “right or wrong” or “masculine or feminine” I was simply allowed to be and listen to myself.

I know I’m in no position to tell you if you should come out, cos it’s not my place. But if it’s any help or something to think about, I could share a little story?

I’m not out in my large workspace as trans, maybe only a couple people vaguely know I’m gay, no one knows I’m ace, only one person knows I’m autistic. Everyone just thinks I’m a cis man. Sometimes I think what would happen if I wore a trans flag on my shirt or an autistic infinity rainbow on my mask or a gay flag pin. Of course I think of the customers seeing me, the ones who will make comments and laugh under their breaths or call me slurs or insult me directly. And it makes me not want to wear those things sometimes, no matter how proud of myself I might feel. But then one day, a kid came into the store—and I live in a conservative area—with their parent and their sibling, and the kid had a large non-binary flag draped over their shoulders like a blanket. And I just sort of stood there for a minute. In a county even I feel afraid to reveal myself in sometimes, this kid was wearing their identity not just on their sleeve, but like a super hero cape for everyone to see. And even though I’m not non-binary, I felt seen. I thought, what if someone closeted saw my pride flag pins, or someone saw my infinity rainbow, or a trans coworker who was feeling just as alone was able to know I was trans too...maybe I could help others feel seen and learn to be even more comfortable in my own skin, maybe build up more resilience to awful people?

I guess if feel like if I come out in some situations, even when I could be wronged or laughed at, it will guide me towards the people and opportunities that are right for me and root out the bad ones so eventually I won’t have to live hiding around the clock. And maybe best of all, I can help someone else feel not so alone in a place that makes us feel like we are. If I ever found myself in a place in my life where many people looked up to me or were inspired by me, do I want them to think I’m just some cishet neurotypical guy... or do I want people who feel underrepresented to feel like they have representation and show myself I can be true to myself and accomplish what I do as I am, even when there are thousands of eyes on me? Again, definitely no one should feel obligated to come out or do any of this, cos some places are Really Awful, but it’s just something I think about in my own personal situation. Hope some of this could help??

[deniigi]

I love the fic you showed on Luke, Han, Chewie being kidnapped by the trio- I would love to see more! Is there a chance we might see that fic or sections of it? I hope you are having a great day!

You may see more sections of it! It’s like 30k because I have zero self control sometimes, so idk if I will post the whole thing, but snippets I can do!

I wrote a fuckin’ hilarious bit where Han tells Paz that Luke’s got a crush on Din. Paz thinks about Din’s sexuality for .05 seconds and immediately has an anxiety attack that Din feels like he’s got to hide his queerness.

He brings it up with Din, who promptly astral projects in embarrassment.

--------------

This was a reconnaissance mission now. One which Luke was again having fun on. With Djarin refusing to speak to his comrade, Luke wriggled right into the place he’d left behind and started agitating again. He goaded Djarin and Fett that he could shave hours off the current course time. Han and Chewie hung back and strategically did not back up a damn thing he said.

Paz, uncomfortable to be on any ship that was not his own, clutched at his fingers and watched Luke chasing Djarin like an underfoot puppy in concern.

“What does he want from Din?” he asked Han and Chewie quietly.

Han blinked slowly.

“He’s got a crush,” he said.

Paz’s helmet managed to blanch.

“You’re kidding,” he said.

“Yeah, your boy’s ticking every one of Luke’s boxes, I’m afraid,” Han said while Chewie snickered. “He’s already decided on a destination wedding.”

Paz rubbed a few knuckles under the edge of his helmet and looked away.

“I dunno if the Armorer’s gonna be cool with that,” he said.

Han snorted.

“Armor isn’t strong enough for him, he’s got mind powers,” he said.

Paz’s helmet turned slightly back towards him.

“The Armorer is Din’s parent,” he said. “She leads the teachings at our covert.”

AHA. Orthodox. Han had it now. Djarin was a preacher’s son.

“I don’t know what that means,” Paz said.

“Don’t worry, I got you,” Han told him sympathetically. “It’s okay, though. People are more tolerant than you think.”

“I still don’t know what that means,” Paz repeated.

“You will,” Han soothed, “You will.”

--

 It was an hour before Paz blurted out, “Wait you mean he’s gay?” and Han almost cried, he was laughing so hard.

--

 This was supposed to be a hostage situation, but Paz was making this trip a pleasure cruise. He’d gotten about fourteen thousand times more awkward around both Luke and Djarin anytime they passed by. Luke had caught onto this with interest.

Han did nothing to stop him. He and Chewie finally had entertainment after hours and hours of torture.

Paz inched away.

“I’m happy for you,” he told Luke. “It’s fine.”

Luke cocked his head at him and got closer.

“No, man. Not me, sorry,” Paz said. “You got—you got Din. He’s—well, honestly the last I saw him he was like, fifteen and sort of scrawny, but you know he’s probably grown a couple muscles by now.”

Luke lit up.

“I know, he picked me up,” he said.

Paz vibrated.

“Mm-hm,” he said.

“Do you think he likes me?” Luke asked him.

Paz vibrated so hard his armor nearly started knocking against itself.

“He’s really into ancient Tusken shit,” he said. “Ask him about ancient Tusken shit.”

Luke’s eyes couldn’t get any wider or rounder. Any more of this and his pupils would start dilating, too.

“Copy that,” he said, then vanished.

Chewie whimpered and wiped tears from his eyes. Han leaned into his side and grinned so wide his face hurt.

--

 Luke took to flattening himself against the cockpit door and serenading Djarin in the other side with pleas for information about Ancient Tusken culture. Djarin was understandable baffled. He smelled a rat and refused to be forthcoming with any new knowledge.

That made Luke caterwaul louder until Fett had enough of him and locked Djarin out of the cockpit too, with instructions to ‘silence the Jedi before I do permanently.’

Djarin was now stuck out here with the rest of them. He crouched in front of Luke and they had a staring contest for a good two minutes before Djarin got up and sighed.

“You have so much energy,” he said. “No wonder Grogu likes you.”

Luke rocketed up to stand next to him proudly.

“I don’t sleep most nights,” he said.

Djarin studied him.

“I see that,” he said.

“Han and Leia say that I’m a ‘hostile’ bedpartner when I do,” Luke said with finger quotes for Djarin’s benefit.

Djarin, Han swore, was trying to think of a polite way to say, ‘Sir, I think you’re at breaking point.’ But instead he said, ‘do you like tea?’ to which Luke said, ‘absolutely not.’ Djarin told him that he had a great tea for him to try and was thereafter followed into the Falcon’s kitchenette around the corner.

Paz, in the meantime, was absolutely shitting himself. No longer able to avoid this conversation with Djarin.

“I think it’s cute,” Han goaded with Chewie nudging his ribs the whole time.

“The Armorer will not approve,” Paz insisted.

--

 Djarin had done the impossible: he’d put Luke to sleep. He delicately removed the mug of (possible sleep medication) tea from Luke’s unconscious deathgrip and asked Han where the used dishware went. That was thoughtful. Han told him to just stick it any damn place around the sink and he or Chewie would get to it.

He did and then came back to settle in next to Paz. Paz visibly experienced a rainbow of emotions. Djarin didn’t notice a single one of them. Instead, he crossed his legs and held the orange tips of one hand in the orange tips of the other.

“I wanted to apologize, Paz,” he said. “After what you’ve sacrificed for me and the kid, I should have been more grateful.”

“D—don’t mention it,” Paz stammered. “It’s—it’s the Way.”

“It is the Way,” Djarin agreed. “I think I was afraid of how to face all of you afterwards.”

Han could hear Paz’s internal scream from here.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll bet you, uh, did. It—it wasn’t the first time, was it?”

Djarin sat up a little straighter.

“No. How did you know?” he asked.

Paz shivered.

“Just a feeling,” he said. “You know, uh. Din. You don’t have to be ashamed of anything, right? You’re—you’re like my little brother. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you or anyone say anything to you. Okay?”

Awwwwwwwww.

Djarin looked up into Paz’s visor.

“Are you sick?” he asked.

“What? No. I’m. I’m saying, that if you ever had something you wanted to tell me, or you know, any of us. We’re always here to listen,” Paz said. “And to support you.”

Djarin’s silver helmet tilted worriedly.

“I already did,” he said.

“GREAT,” Paz said. “Perfect. You’re doing amazing.”

Djarin pulled back, officially disturbed.

“Right,” he said slowly. “So I’m gonna—”

“Listen, kid,” Paz said, grabbing the strap between Djarin’s chest and back plates and dragging him back down to sitting. “Think about your parent.” He took Djarin’s hand from where he was actively trying to escape and held it in a firm, masculine grip. “She loves you, you know that.”

“Paz, I’m panicking,” Djarin said outloud.

“And she was so happy for you to have a foundling,” Paz carried on like plough. “So she’s gonna be happy for you, no matter what.”

Djarin could not pull his hand out of Paz’s grip, and boy was he trying. He’d started a cool descent to the floor, he was trying so hard.

“I know,” he grated out.

“But a jedi, Din?”

“He can’t help it, man,” Djarin said, still struggling almost on his back now. “You said it yourself. It’s a born-with-it thing.”

Paz stared forcefully at his knuckles.

“You’re right,” he said, letting out a slow breath. “But if that’s how it gonna be, you really should propose first.”

Djarin’s helmet somehow managed to emote ‘shock’ on the ground there.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked. “I barely knew her.”

“Her?” Paz asked, then caught himself. “Sorry, sorry. Not my business—”

“It was like, a week at most—”

“Not my business.”

“And yeah, she had a great kid and—”

“Wait, wait, hold up,” Paz said. “Who are you talking about?”

Djarin stared.

“My friend? From Sorgen?” he said. “Who are you talking about?”

Paz went very still.

“You’re fuckin’ some gal on Sorgen?” he asked.

“No?” Djarin said. “I mean. She wanted to, and I thought about it, but it was only a week, and I didn’t want her to feel like I’d used her only for—who are you talking about?”

“The jedi,” Paz said, pointing at Luke’s languid, curled up self on the table’s bench.

“Why would I be fucking the jedi?” Djarin asked. “He’s my son’s teacher, Paz.”

“Because he’s crushing on you?” Paz asked, equally upset and confused. “And you’re gay, so?”

“I’m what?”

“Gay????”

“I am??”

Han was crying. Han was sobbing.

These idiots were days of comedy. Look at them go. Look at ‘em spin.

“Din, please. You don’t have to fake it. I support you—”

“I didn’t ask for your support?”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of—”

“I’m not ashamed.”

“Are you sure? Because I’m picking up some strong feelings. And I don’t want you to think that—”

“Paz, what I want more than anything for you to do right now is to stop thinking. I’m not gay.”

Paz pressed a hand against his helmet like he was in physical pain.

“But the way you always looked at Teyo,” he said.

Djarin had a tiny stroke and slammed his fist into Paz’s arm.

“DON’T MENTION—”

“What the FUCK, brat?”

“HOW DARE YOU—”

“Why’re you yellin’ at me now??”

“Why’re you bringing up some childhood shit, haven’t we done enough of that already?”

“Why’re you so mad? I’m tryin’ to be supportive. If you wanna fuck the Jedi, fuck the Jedi. I’m just sayin’ maybe don’t tell the Armorer until after you’ve done it, so she doesn’t think you’re under some kinda mind-trick or somethin’, alright?”

Han no longer needed those helmets. He had these characters down. Djarin was gaping now. In shock and offense.

“Never speak to me again,” he decided.

“Bro,” Paz said.

“NO.”

“Karkin’ hell, Din. What’s your problem?”

“Excuse me, I must drown, where are your facilities?” Djarin asked Han directly.

“Round the corner, on the left,” Han told him.

“No, no, no,” Paz said, grabbing Djarin by the cape and dragging him back. “We gotta talk about this. We gotta process.”

“I’m not processing shit with you,” Djarin said. “I am not fucking the jedi.”

“But you want to,” Paz deduced.

“I—what? Wh—do you want me to have relations with him? Did I miss something?” Djarin asked.

“I want you to feel supported,” Paz said.

“I don’t. I feel targeted,” Djarin said. “Stop targeting me.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop.”

“Good. Let go.”

“But if—”

“Paz, I’m going to behead myself.”

“If you do want to have sex with the jedi, later. That’s fine. Or anyone else. That’s fine, too.”

“BOBA.”

Behold. A breaking point.

--

[pixie-skull]

55th edit and I have a 56th edit posted after this one. Yes, I love Gilbert Baker (kinda sad his death was my birthday, but happy he done his part) rainbow flag, of 8 colors. The lavender text is purposeful. My hair is different from this, so this very fitting edit of my username, so. XD My face is Aurora.

[nightswithkookmin]

Hello fellow Jikooker and a brave one i must mention. I am proud of u and any other Jikooker like u if they exist. I like how u handle hate asks and not take it personally. I know it can be hard sometimes but keep doing what u doing and people will eventually may be learn to f..k off

Now for my ask Do u think people are taking cultural context to another level just to cancel some Jikook moments because i am also Asian (not from Korea) and i understand their culture as its somewhat similar to mine and may be men here are not like in western countries and express themselves freely even though physical touches but we should remember that regardless even men here will not suck on each others ears. Korean culture is Conservative culture so it has limits forsure. If we compare physical language of men of korea to that of any western counrty it will be different but its not like men in korea or in Asia go on sucking each other ears. Slapping butt, holding hands, sitting on each others laps, or touching genital area jokingly can be seen and let me remind u even men in western countries do this but may be not in a shopping mall or at a wedding party lol but if its a friends gathering everyone does stupid things and i have witnessed it with my own eyes.. i live in US so i can kind of differentiate in this aspect. I just want to say Jikook is real and people will be regretting so much when or if they ever come out. But take my word for it. Being a part if both worlds i can see it.. what do u think about this whole situation ?

Psst. Cultural context my ass!

That's some gay for your ass. Right there in 4k! Right infront of cultural context's salad.

It's 2021. Cultural shock won't cut it. They need to hang it up. FLAT SCREEN!

Fact of the matter is, there are rainbows in South Korea in spite of their conservative culture. In spite of their skinship and fanservice culture. In spite of it all!

Dismissing Jikook on the grounds of culture just doesn't cut it anymore. Their culture does not bar them from being gay.

How can people view BigHit as an unorthodox, unconventional company distinct from corporate Korea in that they have a tendency to pander to the west and acknowledge that their modules and methods fundamentally deviate from traditional Korean business modules; but then in the same breath fail to see how this same company and its entities within it, in order to be part of the international community, allows themselves to be influenced and socialized by international culture in one form or the other.

I mean it's subtle but it's there. It's in the donations to Black Lives matter, declaring a stan on it, apologizing for the cultural and racial insensitivities, apologizing for sampling Jim Jones, delivering key notes at the UN, pushing for recognition and inclusivity in the US music industry and awards, the English in their songs, the English subtitles, overtly participating in international culture- but then suddenly when it comes to LGBTQ plus issues people think BigHit and BTS are deaf, blind, retrogressive, socially unwoke or unaware of it, conservative about it in the way most Kpop companies are, and a bit blind to the fact they hold so much influence and political power social wise and merely appropriate queer culture and draw on queer aesthetics to depoliticize queerness and marginalize a huge fraction of their fanbase.

So which is it? Is BigHit woke or not? Are they international or not? Are they tailoring themselves to fit into the international community through awareness or not?

It's really discombobulating. I swear to God.

I think people need to pay attention to what is going into BigHit and BTS's socialization.

Besides, love is a universal language. It transcends race. It transcends culture and language. It transcends people and systems. If Jikook are in love with eachother what has their culture got to do with it?

A Korean couple in America will still be acknowledged and viewed as a couple based on their behavior alone in spite of their culture or knowledge of it.

Why can't a gay couple be recognized outside of their culture?

Closeted gay couples living in South Korea claim they live in constant fear that people may recognize them as a couple when they walk down the street. I'm sorry, but why would they harbor such fears if their culture excuses gayism? If it's skinship is a normal thing to do in south Korea?

They fake injuries and slip their hands in each other's pockets so people will not notice them holding hands- if it's normal for men to hold hands why would people think these men are gay just by them holding hands?

Why at all did Tae and JK think Jimin was gay in their early days?

I get that cultural differences can act as a barrier sometimes especially to new fans and people who aren't oriented with Kpop culture or cultures outside of their own but education bridges that gap. It's been 7 years of Bangtan, ignorance of their culture is no longer an excuse.

Their President and Culture ministry isn't applauding them because they are stifling awareness to their culture. If anything they are spreading the Korean culture, inviting the world to participate in their culture through experience and education. They are teaching, explaining, and propagating their culture through their music.

Thats the socialization I mentioned earlier. It goes both ways for BTS and for Army- it's ridiculous then for people to now turn around and scream 'y'all just don't understand their culture.'

Rhetorics like these go against the facts, the statistics, the testaments to BTS's influence on trends and culture and negates the hegemonic power of Kpop or BTS and by extension Kculture.

I mean if you don't know about their culture, learn. You got no excuse not to learn about their culture. But I find the weaponization of the cultural differences that exist between BTS and their international fans, in this context, bonkers. People just like to project their inadequacies onto others. That's what it is.

How can we say Kpop or even the Korean culture is taking over world trends and in the same breath claim people are ignorant of that culture?

There is skinship culture prevalent in South Korea, yes but there is an equally prevalent culture in S.K which is Couple culture.

Skinship does not imply a couple. I keep saying skinship is not the reason Jikook is real. Acting like a couple in love with eachother is why Jikook is real.

I keep saying no one should come at me with the 'they held hands ergo they are a couple' 'they hugged ergo they are a couple.'

If Jikook are not acting like a couple by their culture's definition of 'couple' gay or straight, then they are not a couple. It's as simple as that.

If any member sits on another member's lap, kisses their calf but don't act like a couple outside of this, they are not a couple.

Jikook are queer by every standard.

About that Rosebowl moment, there is some I want to say about it but I'm afraid it's going to disillusion a lot of Jokers and give the Tuktukkers lurking around my blogs ammunition. I'll rather not say.

But that moment right there... peak love for me. PEAK LOVE. JK loves Jimin. Whether people think it's platonic or romantic really doesn't matter to me. He loves Jimin and Jimin loves him back. Very much.

That's what I celebrate.

JIKOOK IS REAL

Signed,

GOLDY