#I am on a ROLL today (it is 1am)

[mushyfart]

DOUBLE post (kind of)!!!!

part 2 of old stuff I never posted (bonus under text)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

dumbass supreme says 'yeah ill play a quick game of rivals before bed why not' and gets a sextuple kill. and mvp. more at 1

bonus cause now i get This zesty lil icon whenever i get kills ... epic ....

dumbass supreme says 'yeah ill play a quick game of rivals before lunch why not' and gets mvp more at 1

[tender-rosiey]

1am thoughts, thinking about Gojo introducing kid Megumi to his newborn baby and Megumi being protective of them and even calling them his little sister/brother at one point and gojo is running LAPS he's just overwhelmed and happy over a small yet powerful phrase.

to protect — gojo satoru x f!reader

a/n: this is so cute i am gonna cry also megumi is like 11-12 here

you’re finally back home, after a long day at the hospital. you’re finally engulfed in the comfort of your bed while your husband is still sat up with his little girl bundled in his arms.

he hasn’t let go of her since you have been discharged.

“’toru, honey, you have to sleep soon; you can hold her tomorrow,” you sleepily murmur to your husband.

he nods and whispers, “I know. It’s just I—I can’t believe it’s real,” he kisses her forehead softly, “that she is finally here, our little princess.”

a tired smile makes its way to your lips. you hum in understanding, gently caressing his cheek. he sighs happily, before looking at you, “but you, missy, actually need to rest. you’ve had a long day.”

you frown and he chuckles, and his hand moves to stroke your hair, “rest, pretty. you were a champion today,” you move to nuzzle closer to his side and your arm wraps around his torso.

and so his little girl is comfortably nestled in one of his arms, while the other is wrapped around you so his hand can pet your head lovingly.

satoru truly feels like he is holding the world in his hands right now.

suddenly, the door slowly creaks open and a very familiar face peaks from it. satoru chuckles, “come in, megumi; they’re both asleep anyway.”

the boy carefully pads his way to gojo.

he is so used to seeing him being all goofy and unserious, so it catches him a bit off-guard how serene and quiet he is being right now. megumi looks at the sleeping baby then whispers, “what’s her name?”

“d/n,” satoru answers fondly.

megumi nods then observes her for a small while, “she really is a perfect mix between the both of you.”

a soft and quiet laugh escapes satoru’s lips, “you’re right,” he looks up at megumi with a grin, “you wanna hold her?”

the boy is taken back and his expression betrays him as nervousness takes over his face. his eyes don’t leave the girl and his gaze is more than troubled, “…what if I hurt her?”

satoru shakes his head, “you scared? she is my daughter; she is the strongest baby ever,” he grins, “no one can hurt her.”

megumi rolls his eyes, but quickly directs his focus to the little girl. he takes a moment, before he extends his arms. satoru gently places her in his arms. megumi’s hold on her is protective, and he doesn’t look as awkward as satoru thought he would.

actually, he is quite the natural.

he gently rocks her, and he can’t help but smile at her sleeping face. megumi whispers to her, “hi there.”

she coos at him, and starts swaying his arms around. she slowly opens her eyes, and a tiny smile appears on her chubby face. megumi’s eyes widen a little, and he immediately looks at gojo, “she is smiling.”

satoru laughs, “she is a very smiley baby, but i think she likes you a lot. she only smiled at y/n and me,” he feels you stir a bit in your sleep.

he pulls you closer and rubs your shoulder then he giggles at how quickly you fall back asleep. while satoru is occupied by you, megumi is staring in awe at little miss gojo.

later, satoru wakes up in the middle of the night to check on his little girl in the adjacent room. he groggily gets up, after kissing your forehead. he walks there, and when he finally reaches the room, he notices the lights are already on, and the door is left a bit open.

he peaks a little into the room, and sees megumi standing by the crib. he is fondly looking at d/n, and gently petting her head. he is whispering something to her, but satoru is still able to hear it all the same.

“don’t grow up to be annoying like your dad, please.”

satoru scowls, and contemplates bursting into the room, and bullying the hell out of megumi. however, he ultimately decides against it. he doesn’t end up regretting the decision.

megumi gently boops her nose, “you’re like a little sister to me now, so I promise to protect you.”

she squeals and makes grabby hands at him, and he chuckles, “you believe me, huh?”

satoru slowly backs away from the door and walks away. when he is a safe distance from the door, he starts running and bursts into your shared room.

he dramatically falls to the ground, “that was… the cutest thing ever! after d/n and y/n’s smiles, of course.”

he stands up, proudly. his heart is at ease as he now knows that there is yet another person to look after his baby girl, if something happens. a content grin is on his face as he enjoys the silence and comfort. it’s short lived, as always.

a pillow is thrown at his face, and he stumbles to the ground.

“that’s for waking me up, satoru!”

“noooo, baby, I am sorry!”

“uh—,” megumi awkwardly stands at the door, holding d/n up, “guys, she pooped.”

satoru grins, and excitedly stands up—with a camera that he got out of nowhere to take photos of her—he coos, “aww! your first shit, pretty girl? what a good girl!”

megumi places her on the changing table beside your bed. the smell of her great ‘achievement’ fills the door, and he takes the chance of gojo being distracted to run out of the room, before another nuclear explosion drops.

the girl is gleefully clapping upon seeing her dad, and he reciprocates the smile tenfold. he gently holds her feet and sways them slightly, “such a big girl, already pooping!”

“want daddy to change your diapers for you?” he coos and the girl just puts her thumb in her mouth and starts kicking her feet. he chuckles and slowly opens the diaper. he is met with the vilest smell, and he can’t believe his sweet daughter can produce such smells.

however, he quickly composes himself, and tries to make his way through the travail of changing the diaper. he proves to be too weak because he, after a moment, looks at you, “uh, babe, teamwork makes the dream work?”

you groan, falling back to the bed.

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copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[lovestay-channie]

Recharging Kisses - Lee Minho

Pairing: Lee Minho x gn!reader

Genre: fluffy

Summary: minho needs some extra loving as he has been preparing his comeback

Word Count: 804

Warning: n/a

Comeback season can be pretty tough for Minho. The constant late night dancing sessions, recording and re-recording schedules, days long music video shooting, and schedules upon schedules upon schedules. There was a routine for these hectic days. Wake up at 7AM, have a busy day, and come back around midnight or 1AM. He wishes this season of time was less busy, but in order for everything to be perfect, it had to go this way.

He can’t help but feel bad for his poor fiance at home who barely sees him. All he hears them say is, “Have a good day at work… Let’s get you to bed… I love you, goodnight bubs.” He felt like such a bad partner who can’t be home for his lover. 

Thankfully, today was finally a day where the only thing they had to do was interviews. However, by the end of the day, Minho is drained. The constant same questions, being in the same room all day, only moving to change seating positions, go to the bathroom, or have a quick bite to eat. With it just being interviews, he is actually able to come home for dinner for once.

Minho enters his shared apartment to smell an amazing home cooked meal. He instantly scans his eyes over to the kitchen to see you jamming out to your music while cooking. A slight smirk creeps on his face. He loves to see you happy. He quietly sets down his backpack and takes off his shoes. With soft steps, he creeps up behind you. He looks over your shoulder to see what you were cooking: spicy chicken with rice and kimchi. A simple yet comforting meal. He then carefully wraps his arms around your waist. This causes you to slightly jump since you didn’t know he was home yet. “You scared me a little,” you chuckle. 

“Sorry,” Minho mutters into your neck. Your heart flutters at the affection you have been missing. 

“Aw, it’s okay,” you smile. You set down the fork and knife that was in your hand to turn around to face your partner. You snake your arms around his shoulders to give him a nice, warm hug. “Welcome home, my love.” 

You play with the ends of his hair. You know how hard he has been working lately. You feel so proud of him, yet you also feel so bad for everything he has to do to prepare for a new comeback. He loves his job, and you know that. But sometimes you can’t help but think every now and then that it’s too much for someone to handle. 

Before wanting to turn back to finish plating his meal, you place a sweet, soft kiss on his cheek. You go to turn around, but the arms around you tighten. You smile at Minho’s clinginess. Your lips meet his cheek again before attempting to continue what you were doing. “One percent,” Mihno sighs.

Giggles escape your throat at Mihno’s words. “What?” 

“I’m at one percent,” he says, taping his cheek. You roll your eyes and peck his cheek a few more times. “Hmm, three percent.” 

“Minho!” you giggle into his neck. 

“What? I had a long day, and I need recharging. Only your kisses can recharge me!” he exclaims. 

You smirk at his explanation. You love this side of him. He rarely admits that he needs some love to feel better. He normally likes to play a guessing game where you have to figure out what he wants because he won’t say it. Since he is so tired, he is vulnerable to saying what he wants. 

“Whatever you say, bubs,” you say before peppering his cheek with more kisses. Your lips move all around his face: his cheeks, forehead, nose, jaw, neck, everywhere but his lips. 

You look at Minho to see  a smile plastered on his face, “Hmm, 75%. I am almost at full battery.” 

“I think I have an idea to get you to 100%,” you say. 

“And how are you going to do that?” 

“Close your eyes and find out.”

He follows your instructions to close his eyes. Once his lids are shut, you delicately place your lips onto his. Your hands cup his cheeks to bring him a little closer as if he wasn’t already close enough. Light kisses like this show the love you have for each other. They are pure. It makes both of your hearts flutter with love. These kisses had all kinds of different meanings. Some kisses were saying ‘I love you’. Some were saying ‘I’m sorry, but I’m here now.’ Some were saying ‘Thank you.’ Words he has a hard time expressing sometimes, but you can feel them in his kisses. 

After several kisses, he pulls away to kiss your cheek. A final ‘Thank you’. 

“100% completed.” 

[v--143]

Hii, me again JSNDNS

I hope I don't bother you aaand I hope you're good

Could I ask for a lee!Hyunjin ler!everyone fic??

Thank you and stay healthy<3

ABSOLUTELY Lee Hyune is sooo heartwarming 🥰🥰 thank YOU!! <33 🥟 p.s. anon u are NEVER bothersome please feel free to send anything at all ever I hope you stay happy and healthy as well <3

*For the sake of this fic again, they all live together❤️‍🩹

!! Warnings: Drinking mentions !!

< Party Run >

[Lee! Hyunjin]

[Ler! Skz]

———————————————————————————

Idols needed their moments of rest and days off after long days of practice, especially the entirety of SKZ after Lee Know made them practice choreography for about 4 hours straight. However, some definitely had different ways of “resting up”.

It was a Friday night and almost all members were more than ready to get their rest. All except one.

Hyunjin thought it was the perfect night to go out and allow himself some freedom at the bar. Nothing wrong with that of course, everyone needed their time to have fun and enjoy what the night had to offer. The only issue was that Hyunjin, like everyone, had his occasional adrenaline spikes. Alcohol, however, made this 1000x worse.

“Oh my God, Minho, my back hurts… this is all your fault” Han complained as he arched his back off the bed.

“I can’t MOVE” Seungmin yelled from afar.

“Is everyone here dramatic or am I just better than all of you” Lee Know said.

Chan was busy doing a head count as he went to the kitchen before settling down in bed. It was almost midnight, but he knew there was one voice missing.

“Is Hyunjin still out? Was he not sore at all??” Chan questioned.

“He went out because he was sore. He won’t even remember we practiced at all after tonight” Han stated.

Chan kept checking his phone for any updates on Hyune. Not that he was scared for him, he knew how to take care of himself, but he did want to sleep assured that all the kids were home.. (and not deal with his insane energy shock upon arrival).

About 20 minutes passed and everyone was on their phones in the kitchen or bickering about who did the hip-hop step better (thanks Seungbin) until the door burst open and and a happy Hyunjin wobbled in.

“GUYS. Guys. You GUYS oh my God you won’t believe the effectiveness of a moscato. Two, actually. WOW.”

Han burst out laughing instantly as Hyunjin dramatically explained the effects of a moscato on the brain and body while smiling and doing the most random hand motions known to man.

“No because you don’t understand it’s like.. like I’m not even sore anymore. I feel fine. Great even”He walked over to where Lee Know was sat on the couch and put his hands on his hips while standing in front of him.

“Lee Know, whatever we did today, lightwork. Easy. Step it up headass.”

Everyone in the room burst out laughing loudly as Minho got up from his seat and grabbed Hyunjin’s shirt to pull him closer.

“LET me GOHO. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH” Hyunjin screamed out of pure drama despite Lee Know barely touching him. He began to claw at the air as his shirt was being tugged on until he slipped and his hands and knees hit the floor with a soft thud.

Han and Innie were doubled over laughing at his little 1am stunts. Despite the show he was putting on, everyone was still tired and wanted to get at least some form of rest in before the weekend.

“Alright, I think we should head to bed, it’s 1am already” Chan reminded the rolling Hyunjin on the floor. Hyunjin stood up and stretched his arms out in front of him while groaning loudly.

“Alright. Okay. But. What do you think about my HIP HOP STEP” and there he was doing the choreography to s class. Again.

“What do we do with him” a teary eyed IN asked the members.

“Can’t we just lock him in a room until this fit is over” Seungmin suggested.

“I can force him to practice for 4 more hours” Minho offered. Hyunjin jumped on his back mid sentence.

“We just need to tire him out, get all that energy out his system” Changbin reminded.

“Ah. We’re stupid, this is easy, follow me” Minho said as he shook Hyunjin off him just to turn around and throw him over his shoulder.

“AAAHHA HA” Hyunjin shout out loud. While the members were annoyed at his antics, and sleepy, and sore.. they couldn’t help but laugh and coo at his enjoyment of this.

“You guys remember that trend from around 2 years ago?” Seungmin mentioned.

“There have been, like, hundreds” IN said.

“I know that smartass I’m talking about the one where you, like, ‘show your true laugh’ when people put a lot of weight on your chest”

“Are you suggesting we crush him to death” Chan questioned.

“Mmm no.. no… BUT we could get him out of breath quickly that way” Seungmin said.

During this entire conversation, Hyunjin was dangling on Lino‘s shoulder making unintelligible noises as they spoke beside the dorms living room couch.

“Naha don’t do that I’ll throw up on youhou actually actually good idea let’s do it Seungmin stand in front of my mouth pleaseaha HAHAHAHA” Hyunjin threw his head back at the thought of letting his past few drinks come out onto Seungmin.

“Throw him down” Minnie sternly told Lino.

Quickly, Hyunjin was smacked onto the couch on his back as he yelped. The members quickly began stacking themselves on top of his chest and stomach while he tried to bring his knees to his chest in protest and kick them off.

“NAHAHA NOOO OFF OFFAH” Hyunjin was quickly running out of breath as the first 3, Seungmin, IN, and Felix, stacked on top of him.

“SOTOPopaha ahoaha ah aH-“ his laughter got deeper and more breathy as Seungmin began to playfully bounce his body up and down on Hyune’s chest. Felix was sitting comfortably on top of Minnie’s lap while IN was lying on Hyunjin’s stomach.

“STAAOHP” Hyune was smacking at everyone on top of him in hopes that they’d get off. He had no idea why he was laughing so hard. Other than the drinks in his system, the extra weight on top of him for some reason had him going hysterical. He covered his mouth with his hands as he screamed when IN suddenly squeezed his knee.

“QUIHIT IT” he kicked at the couch while grabbing a handful of Seungmin’s hair when he saw his hand going straight for his underarm.

“OW” Minnie yelped as he and Felix tumbled down from the couch.

“HEAHAHA AHA” Hyunjin found it hilarious, of course.

“This isn’t working. How many damn drinks did you have?!” Lee Know questioned.

“This many” Hyunjin said as he stretched his arms out and flipped him off with a gasp. He quickly covered his mouth with his hands afterwards and faced an innocent look.

“WHO did that. Oh my God. Did ANYONE see that?! Nooo Lee Knowwwwwww” he giggled to nobody in particular.

With IN still on top of Hyune’s stomach, he decided he’d scoot down to his lower calves, giving Lee Know the chance to sit with him back-to-back atop Hyune’s upper calves. The boys had had enough of his constant bickering and were frankly ready for him to calm down.. in their own way.

“Naaa naahaha what are you even dohoing” Hyune questioned as Seungmin and Felix, the two that he knocked down, firmly grasped his wrists and held them to the sides of his head. Changbin and Chan positioned themselves to either side of his torso, while Han sat criss-cross behind Hyune’s head setting it into his lap.

Hyunjin’s face was that of a lost puppy, widened eyes and his frantic head shaking from side to side.

“Uhahmam this is odd guys whatat” he tried to buck his hips and found himself almost immobile.

“You brought this upon yourself” Han said while lightly wiggling his fingers across both sides of his neck and ears, causing an adorable eye and nose scrunch followed by a squeal.

“Awwww”

“Get OHF of me” Hyunjin bucked.

“Maybe. If you would’ve. Not. Been. So. Annoying!” Chan said with pokes to his ribs between every few words. “So sorry Hyune.”

He tried to shuffle away from his fingers only to be found with Changbin doing the same exact thing on the other side. Lee Know began to squeeze right above his knees, lightly, earning a scream from the younger. Meanwhile Seungmin and Felix were readily scratching their fingers down his forearms as IN focused on placing rapid pokes to his feet when he least expected it.

“IN STOHOP DOING THAT”

“This is so funny” the maknae teased.

The light movements being done all over his body had him on the verge of going insane.

“OHOH MY GOHOHOD STOOOOOPPPAAAHH” Hyunjin screamed out as he roughly thrashed his head from side to side, his now wet hair blocking his eyesight making the experience 10x worse. He could really only buck his hips up and down since the rest of his body was basically immovable.

“STOP PLEHEASE its sohoHOHO BAD”

“Clearly not bad enough. That was a quick warm up” Lee Know said giggling to himself and the members, “this is for you flipping me off” and with that Lino grabbed both his sides, right under the ribs, and drilled his thumbs in while roughly vibrating his hands and making a loud ‘dudududuududu’ noise.

“NAAHAHAAH HAHA HAHA” Han’s jaw dropped from how ear-piercing Hyunjin’s scream-laughter was. He tried to bring his arms in on himself while bucking even more violently than before, he had everyone shocked at the sensitivity of his torso that they’d almost felt bad.

But they didn’t. So IN continued to prod at his feet while Chan and Changbin wiggled their fingers over the middle of his stomach, earning spasms and sudden twitches from the boy.

“STOP STOP STOHOHOhohop” his laughter began to get weaker as he threw his head back and tried to imagine what it felt like to not be dying.

“You really want us to stop?” Seungmin questioned, laughing.

“YES PLEHEHAAAASE! PLEASE.” Hyunjin bucked.

“Okay. 30 seconds left then, but don’t complain. You asked for it.” The others knew what this meant.

“WAIT WAIT IM TIHIHIRED NOW PLEASE DONT PLEHEASE PLEASE PLEASE YOU CANT GO HAHARDER IM SORRY IM SOHOHO SOHORRY-” were the last words before Seungmin and Felix drilled into his underarms, Lee Know wiggled at his inner thighs, Chan squeezed at his ribs and hips, Changbin teased at his stomach, IN went ham on his feet, and Han poked and prodded all over his extremely sensitive collarbone and lower neck.

After constant bucking, ear piercing screams, tears down to his neck, heavy breathing, unlaced threats, and kicking for 20 seconds… Hyunjins laughter went completely silent.

The other members were in hysterics. Han was pointing at Hyunjin’s legs and clapping, now unmoving as they poked at his stomach.

“We broke him” he said out of breath.

Seungmin grabbed his arm and threw it around in the air a bit while Hyunjin just kept giggling into the void.

“HAHA, this is great” Seungmin commented.

Chan rubbed comforting circles on his side as Hyunjin curled into his arm bringing his knees and arms to his chest. Changbin rubbed his back as the others began to yawn through their, still, hysterical laughter.

“You’re SO loud!” Changbin said.

“He’s too dramatic for his own good~” Felix cooed as he rubbed at Hyune’s ear, making his shoulders scrunch.

“Don’t touch mehe”

“dOnT tOuCh MeHe” Lino said dramatically as he grabbed his waist.

“NAAHA NO! NOOO” Hyunjin immediately kicked and flailed his arms like a madman despite Lino not actually doing anything, eventually causing him to fall flat on the floor.

Everyone was exhausted, both from laughing and soreness now, ready to go to bed. Hyunjin couldn’t muster up the courage to trust anybody to carry or take him to bed somehow without being attacked, so he simply laid on the floor next to the couch for a while. He eventually got up while rubbing at his sides and arms waddling over to his bed when he noticed a sleepy Seungmin in it.

“Oh come ON get out?!” Hyunjin said, annoyed.

“I see someone’s finally ready for bed.”

“Are you getting out”

“No”

“Why”

“Because”

Too tired to really care, Hyune swung his legs onto the bed and laid right next to Seungmin, their bodies close.. and Seungmins hand even closer to his waist.

“Don’t even think about it. I’ll wake everyone up and you know it.” Hyune said as he grabbed at Minnie’s hand.

“I know, I’m just resting it here. Goodnight.”

He hated him. But not really. That nights sleep was actually one of the best he’d gotten in weeks. Maybe he shouldn’t have yelled stop so many times…

———————————————————————————

HYUNEBUUUUUUNNNNNNN this was fun to write sorry it took longer than the first!! I hope it’s good 🥹 please lmk🩷🩷!!!

[dollsonmain]

I've forgotten how to sleep and startled myself when I looked in the mirror on my way to bed last night. The eye wells in my skull were very, very visible. Slightly less bad this morning.

So sleep hasn't happened due to both anxiety/stress and the AC having been broken for a while. AC was out for about a week and once it was fixed, I was too stressed about the absences thing at school to sleep the first night, and then too stressed last night because Son broke his school laptop yesterday and we have to tell That Guy today, AND That Guy had gone out partying with friends after work which means he drives home like that in the middle of the night and I always worry he's not going to make it. I can't sleep until I hear the garage door open. If he crashes, with the way he has our finances set up, Son and I are effectively homeless immediately. Part of why I am trying to work. Him not coming home until 1am also prolonged the anticipatory anxiety of having to wait to tell him the problem and get over the aftermath.

And then I woke up at 3am like always and couldn't get back to sleep.

Anyway.

Work stuff ish again

I will not complain about being expected to work 6 hours a day because that's less than a "normal" job anyway, but really at that point I'd rather work a full 8 and get benefits.

I very much think it should be illegal to schedule people juuuuuust under the cut off for benefits to be required by labor law. You should have to either schedule people 40 hours or 20 hours, no in between, IMO. Scheduling someone exactly 20 hours gives them plenty of time to go work SOMEWHERE ELSE for the other 20 hours without having to worry about being scheduled to work 60+ hours a week because both employers are cheapskates that will work you 30 hours.

I also need to completely change my daily routines AGAIN to get to work on time.

My current-new routine is:

wake up at 3:30 and get my morning coffee

sit around and wait for That Guy to leave for work which is usually 4-4:30

Son gets up and we have the morning together

Son leaves for school at 6:50

I don't get hungry until somewhere between 7 and 9 and will have breakfast then

depending on how exhausted I am I will or will not do chores between 5 and 10

leave to walk to work at 10:20

get to work at 10:40/10:45

work 11-3

That Guy picks me up on his way home from work, though I did have to walk home yesterday

do chores

dinner between 4-5 or so

vegetable time

Now, I'm going to have to skip my morning coffee because it makes me poop and I don't want to be pooping while I'm also the only cashier at work.

So it's going to be like....

wake up around 3 and shower OR shower in the evenings and deal with being gross from night-sweats at work so wake up at 3:30, I do prefer to show up to work nice and clean but it is a gas station...

force feed myself some sort of solid food while waiting for That Guy to leave for work around 4-4:30

make sure the boy gets up no later than 5

leave to walk to work at 5:20

get to work at 5:40-5:45

work 6-whenever (she hasn't decided when????)

leave work to walk to home whenever that happens to be and I'd rather it WASN'T noon because it's going to be stupid hot, then, but stop on the store's "porch" to put on sunscreen real fast... which means I need an opaque travel size bottle for sunscreen, and eat something so I don't pass out on the way home (yesterday I took a small bread roll and some jerky and ate that and drank a second V8 Energy while walking)

get home around 1 if I left at noon because the walk home is slower than the walk to work

eat a real lunch? finally have my poopin coffee?

chores

Son and That Guy get home at 3

profit???

I'm going to have to prep and take multiple sugar drinks so my blood sugar doesn't bottom out while at work. Right now I've been taking one bottle of water with a Real Lemon lemonade drink stick mixed in and I forget to drink it but it's there so I can slam it before leaving. I'll need to also take a meal replacement shake got sugar, salt, and other nutrients, I think, and an extra water.

Manager keeps trying to get me to buy something at work before my shift starts and I'm like no thanks those are MY monies, now, you're not getting them back on your overpriced bottled water.

Today I need to do laundry, deal with the fallout of telling That Guy that Son broke his school laptop, go to Kohl's and see if I can find some New Balance cross trainers to wear to work since I will be doing walking, standing, and lifting and I think cross-trainers would be the best option AND already know NB is the brand they primarily carry, need to find a hi-vis vest or couple of belts because I'll be walking to work in the dark, and That Guy said he'd take me to dinner today for leaving me to have to walk home from work Yesterday but what does that matter? That's going to be every day from now on.

A few more paychecks and I'll look for a scooter again. Or something. Still kind of like the idea of getting a cargo trike, ngl. Would be harder to steal than a bike anyway.

I don't know what I'm going to do in the winter.

-

Running a salary and income tax calculator and factoring in about $3k in short-term hobby income, even putting that no tax is withheld, it looks like I'd expect a tax return of $3k? Because there's about $3k in tax credits??? Whatever. I'll figure it out when it's closer to the right time.

[gypsypendragon]

DND session rolled till 1am today.

I almost died. Got resurrected by my homunculus. Smashed the (current area's) main bad guy's face in with my wrench.

(I am a Battle Artificer, homebrew and a lot of custom shenanigans cause my DM is a fucking boss)

Our warlock killed two mini bads in one turn, and delt 63 damage in one turn to a huge monster bad.

All during the same combat encounter.

Was quite fun. Very fun. Many motivations to doodle now.

[pbandjesse]

It is very hot right now! It is mid morning and we are in a waiting pattern because we were in our way to a boat tour and got in a car accident. Our van and a motorcycle collided. The biker is scraped up but admits it was his fault. The police are here and we are waiting to see if we need a new vehicle . So I thought I would start writing this while we figured out what comes next.

After I finished my paper last night there was more dancing. It was decided we would leave at midnight. And while there was a couple extra songs we did all gather and get out of there. Traffic is very bad and we almost got stuck in a very bad puddle. But our driver Sandy is great and while it took forever, we did get back to the hotel in one piece.

We rolled up to our room at 1am. We would gr to see a gecko outside our door and I was super excited about that. I had caught a frog at the party last night and that was exciting. But the gecko was to fast for a picture.

I would wash my hair and felt a lot better after that. Falling asleep didn't come as quick as I would like. I texted with Jess for a little. And eventually went to sleep.

We had to get up at 530 but I was up at 430 again. Annoying. I wasn't in as a good of a head space as yesterday but I would feel better soon.

I got dressed and as we were figuring out what was up we got a message that the plan for the morning has changed. And we would be going on a boat tour to the origin point of the Nile. Incredible. So we were leaving a little later and would get to eat breakfast.

Me and James would chill on the couch for a bit. And then at 630 we headed to breakfast.

We were the first ones there. But once one of the girls, Stephanie, came down we all went in to eat. And slowly the rest of the crew for the day would trickle in.

Breakfast was nice. I would wrap up a donut to take with me for a snack later. Which was a very good idea. Paul joined us at our table and I enjoyed talking to him about the trip. I hope he knows how appreciative I am to be included.

At 730 we would all load up on the bus. There are 18 of us today. A good mix of people. And we were off.

We are driving for about two hours. And I don't know if I have the words to describe what I have seen today. The variety of houses and fruits and animals. Cows and goats. Dogs. Chickens. But the people was what really got me.

There are so many motorcycles, called boda boda, more then I've ever seen in my life. And the density of the markets. My neck started to hurt from looking out the window but I couldn't stop. I needed to see them. I needed to see everything.

I feel very emotional about everything honestly. I have been smiling at as many people as possible. And they are smiling back. Some waving. They often seem surprised to see me. I know white people are a novelty here. On our whole journey today I have seen two older white men and that's it. So I am waving and smiling. I got a couple flirty blown kisses and winks. But I am just so focused on making connections, even if they are brief. I told James that I hope they get to where they are going and tell their friend they saw a white lady. They call us "mungzo" (unsure about that spelling). It for sure it interesting to be the other.

The ride was fascinating. Hard to capture in pictures but I was enjoying the whole thing. I was about to go text Jess and update about how much I was enjoying it when all of a sudden Sandy our driver slammed on the breaks and I hit my knees on the seat in front of me. We have collided with a motorcycle. I saw his fly off his bike and stumble away so no one else ran him over. It was frightening. And there were so many people around. Some yelling and telling eachother what they saw. The traffic police would come quickly and they went to check on the biker.

We were in the side of the very busy street for a while. When all of a sudden the tour guide we were there for got on our bus. He has seen the accident! What a weird coincidence.

Everyone would be okay but the bike was broken and our bus broke it's exhaust (which is in the front). So we were in a holding pattern.

We drove over to the police station. And someone would come to fix the exhaust.

We would get out of the bus to cool off. It got very hot in there. But I was enjoying looking around. Even saw some goats.

We were about an hour and a half off schedule but the bus was fixed and we could get on our way.

We still had about 2 hours to where we were going. And I loved seeing more nature and people. But eventually some of the girls were desperate to used the bathroom. So our driver and tour guide would figure out a shell gas station that had bathrooms we could use.

This was the most squaty of squaty potties. This was mostly just a hole in the ground. But we were in this together.

And honestly for me it was just like. Camping. Nature peeing. My only issue was I am wearing a jumpsuit but it was fine and I survived.

While we were standing outside waiting for all the girls to be done, some children were milling around giggling and smiling at us. They were fascinated by me. I would engage with them and they did speak English. I asked all about them. They were 2, 4, 5, 6, and 9. I could not even attempt to spell their names. But they sounded beautiful. I got down on their level to talk to them. And eventually the 2 year old reached for me and we held hands and the older girls wanted to stroke my arm to see if it felt like the skin. They had never spoken to a white person, I'm not even sure they have send one in real life. The oldest girl liked my hair. They told me they liked to play ball and they liked to draw. They had beautiful smiles. I am so glad we got to meet. They also wanted to know the names of my children and were surprised to learn I didn't have any yet. Apparently 10 children is the most common number for a family to have. I explained that where I'm from people don't have them very early or as often. They didn't seem to believe me.

We said goodbye and there was lots of smiles and waves. We continued our journey. Back on the bus. And it wasn't to much longer until we stopped in Jinja to pick up our second tour guide. Our first one, Charles, would bring on Bob. And they are both so nice. And so knowledgeable.

Bob would give us more information about Jinja. Which is the food basket and powerhouse of Uganda. And soon we would arrive at the Nile!

I wish I had better words to describe it but everything is just outrageously beautiful. And pictures just don't do it justice. It's gorgeous here. And being at the Nile was so powerful.

We got a little talk to start from Bob and Nathan, another guide. About how there used to be falls but now because of the dam that creates so much of the power to the country, the falls are no more. And the government is redeveloping this area. So much of the country seems to be in redevelopment and that's just really neat.

Something I have noticed and I really respect is the obvious care and pride everyone here has for their work. From the people sweeping the dirt roads to the people cleaning the steps and lawn furniture to all the food sellers that run up to your window. Everyone seems so confident and sure of themselves and what matters. It feels like a community mindset rather then an individualist one. And while the poverty is there, the people are rich in so many other ways.

After Nathan gave us his history talk he walked us to the water front. We had to go down a very very steep hill. And then when we got to the bottom we had to walk across planks. Because the restaurant at the dock was flooded. Like it was in a foot of water. It was fascinating. Also a little a scary. But the staff helped us across and everything was good.

The boat is a double decker. And me and James got seats up to the front. And I have been having the very very best time.

We saw monitor lizards and so many birds and tilapia jumping from the water and we even saw monkeys! I was so close to crying I was so happy. They were 3 babies and their mom and they were jumping around and helping groom and the one little baby beared it's teeth at us trying to be scary. It was amazing.

We continued to ride sodund. Watching the fishermen and the water. The wind is very strong and I am really glad I brought a hair tie.

After an hour we went back to the dock and they brought food on board. We had ordered ahead of time and it was all chicken and burgers but they had a cheese sandwich so I was expecting just slices on white bread but it was actually a really beautiful grilled cheese with some local tomatoes and red onions and some kind of soft cheese spread. It was great.

The food made me so tired though. And I was kind of just hoping we would be done soon but we would have more to see.

James was helping everyone open their glass bottles of soda and beer. Being so helpful and so handsome. I love them so much and I'm so glad we get to experience this together.

The boat would slowly start moving again and we headed to the sign and small building that marked where the river and the lake meet. There was a small building that was half flooded in the water. We would stop and me, James, Stephanie, Gabe, Sydney, and her boyfriend Devin would be the only brave ones to get off the boat to go inside. Where we were treated by actual water under our feet and so many souvenirs.

Me and my James would get a few. For friends and family. It was fun. And the people who worked there were so nice. The one man sold us a sculpture he carved from a Jacaranda tree. I handed them my phone to type that because there was no way I was going to get that right. They let us pay in us currency which works out for them because they can upcharge us but we didn't mind. It was still very cheap and if it helps them it's a good thing.

They wanted to take pictures with me and James too. I think the novelty of us being white again. But they were super nice and we would climb back on board to join everyone else.

The last leg of the tour was nice but I think we were all ready to go. The DJ had music going it we were all so tired. Half of us would doze off. But seeing the two open air prisons off the lake was interesting. And some of the fishermen started dancing to our music which was pretty funny.

It was getting later and later though. When we agreed to come in this trip we sort of thought we were going to be back in the mid afternoon. But after it took 5 hours to get to it we were all like. Oh. Yeah this is going to be a lot. And then our tour guide guaranteed that we would have a two hour tour max. But we were almost 4 hours in. We had started the day at 730 and it was now almost 4pm. And I checked and even if traffic was perfect we were 3 hours form the hotel. Goodness.

I had a nice conversation with Stephanie. And she told me that if I didn't feel up for the party tonight that no one would be upset with me. The fomo is real but I am just. So tired. And we have another early morning tomorrow. I might just need to decompress.

We would get back to the dock and got off. A bunch of our party would wait to sue the bathroom but me and James headed up the steep steps. Which winded me pretty badly. There were also a lot of women and children trying to sell us more souvenirs and if I wasn't so tired I would have considered some of them more. But having to think about conversation rates stressed me out. So we declined. I did feel terrible when one of the girls fell down and hurt her knee but her for dds would help her.

When we got to the top of the hill I would catch my breath and then would wander s little and found some amazing little mushrooms. And that just really made me happy.

Once everyone was up the hill we wandered to the bus. I gave Bob the tour guide a hug and said thank you. The kids were trying to sell us bananas through the windows but we declined. And we were off on our journey.

I just woke up from a pretty long nap laying my head against my window. James says for a bit they were the only ones awake. We are in a new place. About an hour and a half to go.

I was wrong when I said an hour and a half. We just pulled up around 845. So closer to 2 hours from my last paragraph. I am really excited to be back. We just ordered room service. I took an excellent shower. James is getting some fresh air on the balcony. The rides were tough today, being confined, but I can honestly day today was one of the best days I have ever had. Like this was such an incredible experience. If I ruminate on it for to long my eyes start to tear up.

After I woke up from my little car nap I rewound my podcast and was able to listen to the entirety of the first season of Limetown. My favorite piece of media I have ever experienced. And the last episode made me cry like it always does. And then we were pulling up to the hotel. It was a journey for sure. But we got to see more incredible sites and people. I was hurting and so so so tired of being in the bus. But I wouldn't trade any of today. Today was incredible. It makes me feel lucky to be alive and for every moment that lead me here.

I am not sure how tomorrow will shake out. I hope we go see animals. I also really really hope that the commute doesn't take the entire day. I really feel like I have experienced Africa. And I could absolutely go for more. But I am also good just chilling and going with whatever flow happens.

I am going to rest now and eat and try to get more then 3 hours of sleep. I love you all. Thank you for following me on this adventure and sort of disjointed way of documenting this journey!!

[pawprints-upthehill]

Thursday 15th June --

Fancied trying to do some writing today, so below the cut is my first, actually finished attempt at writing something for the myct fandom. It's a little Redscape/Mumscarian scene from an AU I've had buzzing around in my brain for a while.

Basic premise - Boatem, sailing the world for treasure. That's it. But of course I had to make it shippy. I might write the whole thing at some point but who knows.

Also this is very very unedited. Its past 1am for me and I am so tired so if this is horrific apologies!

Mumbo's voice broke the tranquil quiet of the night at sea, startling Scar into a more upright position in his seat with a grunt. 

Boatem Pirates AU - Nighttime Talks

"Scar?"

"Ah- Mumbo! You surprised me," he turned to face his mustached companion, dusting himself off as if he hadn't just been caught nearly asleep at the wheel. "What brings you out here in the middle of the night?" He tilted his head, adding in a teasing tone, "I'm sure Grian is missing you."

"I couldn't sleep," seemingly feeling like that was a good enough answer, rather than explain himself at all Mumbo instead raised an eyebrow at him, "But it looks like you should. When was the last time you slept?"

"I'm fine," Scar snorted, waving a hand dismissively, "Just daydreaming is all. I'll get some sleep when Impulse takes over at dawn."

Mumbo hummed, a noise somewhere between concern and acknowledgement. "Sure. If you say so. Now budge up a bit, its freezing out here."

Scar chuckled but obliged, scooting along in his seat so Mumbo could sit with him. It wasn't exactly comfortable but Scar was never one to miss out on an opportunity.

"Well why didn't you say so?" as soon as Mumbo was settled he pulled his arms out of his overcoat and tossed it over both their shoulders, "There you go, much better."

The benefit was twofold. Not only did it mean Mumbo was closer to him (as if shoulder to shoulder hadn't been enough) but the way Mumbo blushed at the gesture was adorable. 

"Oh, cheers," Mumbo settled then turned and gave him what was probably supposed to be a serious look. The effect was utterly ruined by the fact the tip of his ears were slowly turning the same lovely pink as his face. "Now, Captain Goodtimes."

"Uh oh, the full title, I feel like I'm in trouble."

"Pft, no. Your ship mate," Mumbo rolled his eyes good naturedly, "You wanna sleep sail us into some rocks that's your business."

"Hey! I would never be so careless," Scar splutterred. He probably would (he wasn't known primarily for his clumsiness for no reason), but not while he had other lives on board to worry about.

"Sure," he wasn't sure he particularly liked the disbelieving note in Mumbo's voice there but he continued before he could comment, "What I was gonna say was, I think I've known you long enough now to know when something's bothering you. You've been distracted and spacey all day." His voice softened, and quite out of nowhere, Mumbo raised his hand to gently brush Scar's hair back out of his eyes. "I wanna help, if I can. What were you thinking about?"

The affection, so casually given, was still startling to him. Not that he'd lacked for a kind touch in his life just…this was different. Mumbo wasn't looking out for the abandoned kid he'd found in the woods, or maneuvering him to better suit his pleasure, he was just concerned for him. 

Again he couldn't help but wonder what life would be like if he'd known Mumbo and Grian before. Before they were established and clearly happy with just each other. Would…he liked to think maybe…just maybe, there could have been room in their lives for him too.

It was his nature he supposed. Wanting what he couldn't have and chasing it anyway. 

Unwilling to ruin the moment, he settled for a half truth. "I was thinking about the moon," Scar said softly, taking his eyes of Mumbo, despite his reluctance, to look back up at the sky. 

"The moon?" Mumbo's voice sounded slightly dumbfounded and Scar grinned, delighted to have caught him by surprise.

"Yup. I was thinking about how much of my life is controlled by the moon. I mean, think about it, if anything happens to it - if it moves further away or gets closer somehow - it'd throw all the tides out of balance. Who knows where we'd end up. It's kinda crazy to think about." Scar felt his smile falter. Maybe it was because he was so tired, or maybe he just wanted to keep that warm, closeness feeling in his chest for a little longer but whatever the reason he felt a sudden need to continue. "I had a dream once, a while ago, where the moon got really big. Or it crashed. Something like that. Anyway, the moon was gone. And with no tides, I couldn't sail. I was stuck on my island, never seeing the world, never meeting-...never meeting any of the friends I've made."

He lowered his eyes to the horizon, doing his best not to fidget. Despite how strong the impulse to share a little more of himself had been he still didn't think he could look Mumbo in the eye. That felt…a little too vulnerable, a little too real. "That probably doesn't make any sense," he finished softly, hoping he didn't sound as uncertain as he felt. 

There was a contemplative pause. "It does." Scar blinked, surprised and stupidly hopeful as he finally turned to look at Mumbo. His dark eyes were shockingly warm, his gaze softer than he'd ever seen it. "Grian did that for me. Got me out of the home I was trapped in and showed me the world. I think about that a lot too. I think it's only natural to wonder what life would be like if things were different." 

They fell into a companionable silence for a little while, each taking in the other's words. "I like to think we'd have found each other somehow," Mumbo added finally, quietly.

"You and Grian?" Scar let out a breathy laugh, "I don't think even the universe had a choice there. Pretty sure Grian would find you no matter what corner of the cosmos any Gods tried to hide you in."

"You're not wrong," Mumbo chuckled affectionately, "But I meant us, actually. Me, you and Grian. Cause he'd be like that about you to ya know." 

"You think so?" The hope that swelled in His chest was dangerous. 

"Of course, once Grian decides you're his best friend there's no backing out," Mumbo grinned, "Pearl and Impulse too, no one escapes the pesky bird once he's decided your his."

His? Was Mumbo trying to kill him? Gods above did he like the sound of it though…

"Only a truly crazy soul would try," he agreed solemnly, determinedly ignoring the heat he could feel rising on his face. "Not me. Never."

"Good," Mumbo looked satisfied and for a.second he thought he'd leave it at that, get up and head back to bed. Instead though, Mumbo scooted a little closer, leaning against him just a little.

"Still cold?" Scar asked, raising an eyebrow as his mustached friend. 

"Nah, I'm good where I am." Apparently comfortable now they were essentially all but cuddled under Scar's overcoat, he found his gaze again. "You?"

"Me?" Scar gave Mumbo his best lopsided grin, "Absolutely a-may-zin."

[irreverentdreams]

1am thoughts

i am tired. my room mate is insufferable the air in my environment is suffocating I want to sit in the trees and make my art. I'd like the sickly butterflies in my stomach to settle... i am overcome with anxiety today. i can't wait until she's gone & the air is breathable again. it's 1am- and I'm just waiting for the passive aggressive text telling me the click clacking of my keys on the keyboard is too loud and could I please keep it down. ... my eyes couldn't roll farther into the back of my head. I am overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it.

[araminthe]

Monday, 12th of August / Lundi 11 août

────୨ৎ────

Sleep / Sommeil : 1am to 9.30am (makes it 8h30 of sleep)

I did go to sleep at midnight, but I guess since I was not used to sleeping early, I had a hard time falling asleep

Health / Santé : Ate pretty healthy until I had the spring rolls I made, and then a burger with fries.

But it's alright since it's all about moderation.

I also stretched in the morning and walked a lot through the day; 9500 steps (the weather was so hot)

Study / Études : just 20 minutes before going to sleep

My day / Ma journée : Woke up definitely earlier than usual, (I'm used to waking up at 12, today I woke up a 9am, got out of bed at 10).

I then chilled for some time, at lunchtime, I decided to make my chicken spring rolls and they were delicious, everyone loved them. What's more surprising is that the recipe is literally so easy. I can share it if y'all want.

Plus, I had bought a sauce for spring rolls that was sweet and just a bit spicy, the taste was just perfect 🤌.

Since, I don't go to Asian restaurants, I decided to do it myself I guess.

Then, at 4pm I took my 4 siblings to eat some fastfood since they wanted to. It was fun, just us without the parents, my small siblings definitely enjoyed.

I also took advantage of the fact that the parents weren't there to spoil them a bit more, so we got to a dollar store that was right in front of the fast-food place and I bought them candy's and some small toys.

It was fun.

We then walked home, and my cousin calls to propose that I come to the park in her neighborhood with my siblings, so we can spend some time together while the children play.

So I once again go out. To go there, I walk again (because I mostly spend my time at home in front of my desk, I wanted to use that day to move).

It's a 15 minute walk, very not long.

I like that about my city, (Nantes, in France), you can walk almost everywhere. If you don't have a car, things are easily accessible with the excellent transportation, and you can walk as much as you want)

So we go, the children play, me and my cousin talk over some spring rolls because I had decided to bring some for her and her family. (She liked it, I'm glad !!! 😊)

And an hour ½ later, we have to walk home again before it becomes dark outside.

I eat dinner, and will try to sleep on time today again.

Time passed really fast and it's already 11pm, I sometimes wonder why does time pass so fast. It makes me feel like I am not productive enough.

Anyway, today again I will try to sleep at midnight and have AT LEAST 10minutes of revision for my license exam.

Bye, bonne nuit mes choux.

Je vous souhaite le meilleur <3

[zacharyja]

Thursday, June 6, 2024

Purgatory Day

Today began at about 9:30am, where I then finished packing my suitcases and getting ready to check out of my hotel. Once 11 rolled around I dropped my keys off and got an uber to my next hotel, so that I could drop my bags off while I waited until 3pm to check in. After arriving and dropping off my luggage I didn’t really have anywhere to go or anything to do until 3 so I decided to walk around the Kawaramachi area for a while.

I went to a bunch of stores and did some window shopping, not really looking to buy anything as I didn’t feel like having to carry it around with me for multiple hours while waiting for the hotel check in time. I then decided to grab some lunch, and felt like having some Katsu Curry so I popped into the nearest Coco Ichibanya and got a table for one. I ordered my usual meal of Chicken Katsu curry with naan, and demolished it as per usual.

After eating I hung out at the restaurant for a bit before deciding to head over to Round One, which was only about a 5 minute walk from the restaurant. While here I decided to play some Maimai and spent the next 45 minutes doing just that. I kind of want to buy a cheap pair of gloves for Maimai but I also don’t really want to look like a tryhard sweaty Maimai player. I also went from 3708 to 5000 today, big money moves!

Once I felt I had my fair share of rhythm games, I decided to walk around the area a bit more and kill some time. I wound up at a cat cafe/puppy store. All of the dogs were insanely adorable and I wish I could take them all home with me. I have no idea how they always have such cute puppies but I guess there is a big market for that here.

After more dilly dallying I was finally able to check into my hotel, which is located in a really good spot nearby to Kawaramachi and is sort of a downtown type of area. The hotel itself is also really nice, and I am impressed with the view of the city that we have.

After a while my sister finally arrived at the hotel and it was great to see her after many months. She was hungry after traveling and we decided to hit up a Matsuya nearby while my laundry finished drying (it took 3 hours thank you Japan for the worst dryers in existence). The food was pretty good as always, no complaints from me.

After this we walked around the area a bit before heading over to Family Mart to make a snack run, the haul was pretty phenomenal as you can see from my snack spread.

After this we attempted to go to Round One, which I was under the impression was 24 hours or at least open past 1am but I was apparently wrong, even though it says open until 6am on google. So since we couldn’t do this we decided to find some low key place to hangout for a bit, and settled on Bar Back Alley, which was pretty empty and nice to just talk for a while. They were out of ¥500 beef jerky so the guy offered me “Junkie Potatoes” for a ¥450 discount which was nice of him.

The food was decent but I was mostly in the mood for beef jerky, oh well another time i’m sure - c’est la vie!

[lauvra]

Lost/Found Notes Pt. 10 17/9/21 The most fearful of thoughts erupt, the ones you dismiss daily. That you're actually as vile as you've always suspected, that disease will feed on all your bad habits and that you're altogether undisciplined, unskilled with nothing to offer anyone. You'll only ever be wanted by conmen and loved by none. You will not bear children, or worse it's all you'll do. Nothing can change your fate which is to fade away, painfully, slowly with no dignity. You'll age terribly and it'll be all your fault. Every person who ever harmed you still laughs behind your back and even when you're desperate for it, you'll never give or receive love again. WELL SO WHAT. 21/9/21 [The poem 'Fearful Thing', by Judah Halevi] 24/9/21 [Quote] "If you do not want to write, at least spit on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, and send it to me. You are not taking any notice of me at all. God forgive you - all I wanted was a few words from you." - Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky 26/9/21 [Internally screaming that I ?? got what I wanted and responded viciously.] My ex followed me on instagram at 1am lol555999P [sic]

7/10/21 My back feels like something magnetised to me. Or like I'm wearing a jetpack with no fuel. I need a fusion core. 16/10/21 Today I laid staring at the ceiling for hours. I slept that horrible daytime kind and woke only when somebody tried to push me down some stairs. They were coming up, I was on my way down. They struck me hard on my right shoulder and said sorry, but I responded "Are ya?" sarcastically, then kept on without looking back, then felt another impact as they launched a more deliberate blow to wrestle me down the flight. I felt simultaneously stuck and violent, and woke in the same state. 16/10/21 Measure the weight and length of my words, someday say my heartbreak had worth. 26/10/21 When he leant in, enclosing, and stroking my hair, I sat there unwilling, rigid and tense. He asked how nice it was to be touched by another human being, but I couldn't look and didn't bother to speak. 29/10/21 [Graceless Host] 23/11/21 I know I speak with a plank in my eye. 3/12/21 [Quote] "I have found no other justification for my life except this effort to create. For almost all the rest, I have failed. And if this doesn't justify me, my life won't deserve absolution." - Albert Camus 17/1/22 Tomorrow call bank or die. 18/1/22 You were the carborundum stone, hm, doesn't roll off the tongue. 22/1/22 [CLIPBOARD] "Would you like to stay in touch via WhatsApp or whatever? My number is [redacted]." 7/2/22 There's something I'm not sure you've noticed, but it means a lot to me. There's no door between us and never has been. There's no polite or guiding goodbye, goodnight or good morning. In medias Res. A continuum. I'm afraid these words will conjure the absent barrier. There's a respect for one another's silence and appears no latch, lock or expectation? Boundaries unbound. I like that shit 19/2/22 Under the shadow of doubt, I relearned how to speak. In weathering misunderstandings, grew a comfort for their inevitability. An attraction to secrecy and respect for code has grown. I am dancing with the universe, we are both blindfolded. [Redacted] told me recently that keeping secrets today is a revolutionary act. I thought to communicate indirectly was a gift I did not possess, but rather I possessed an intolerance to perspectives against mine I'd intended to communicate. I intended for others to understand my writing as if they were my replica. The labyrinth is one of my own construction. Those who already claim to observe, yet form beliefs are already trapped inside with their opponents. The confusion. I am not, after all, a bystander in the destruction of what I love. 19/2/22 I'm sitting in mums Jaguar, she's driving the back winding roads with wide views of green dome-like mounds of mountain, I wish I could share it. I'm in the back seat, her passenger just said if someone told her years ago, she'd be living in a million dollar home, she'd never believe it. "That's for rich people!" My own mother says maybe they'll do something with the property, attach a second home to lease. I chime in where normally I'm silent, and tell her not to sell her soul, though. I say what they do affects the community, too. Her passenger says "Once they allow buildings higher than sixteen stories, I'm out," she says people get greedy, don't appreciate what they've got even when it's rare. I remember all our apartments, moving further and higher out of town. Now she drives the Jag, which she calls "The Jag", because her partner bought it very cheap and fixed it up. When she drives it, sometimes I wonder whether people think she's a wanker. Sometimes I wonder whether she's becoming a wanker.

[hiodoshi-ao]

Overwhelmed with how amazing today already is and I'm feeling extremely physically ill atm... LmAO Just rolling with it. 😵‍💫

I'm sad I didn't prepare anything for Louis' birthday... I wish I did. Maybe next year if I'm still in the fandom. I might be. I've always low-key been a Louie. You can maybe see his pretty face's influence on the fan art I've drawn of anime boys 😎

I'll be sharing other people's works later maybe today!!! I'm so proud of all the creators in our fandom as well. I was wondering if this fandom was still alive until I ran into a random YouTube comment.

Excuse me, I feel so delirious from how sick I feel. So surprisingly happy too?? I'd take medicine but I've already been taking ibuprofen and acetaminophen almost every day due to other pains... I caught something from my best friend this time. LOL 😅 All the mental pain from this year and the years of holiday trauma didn't prepare me for tonight. I really don't expect anything?? 😭

Another thing, I have some request art for people that I wanted to take care of in 2 days... I almost made it but the last few days were... Extremely heavy and toxic, I'm sorry. I was asking people to request me, too. I'm so embarrassed, but life can be a rollercoaster like that I suppose... 🙁 If either of the two lovely people are reading this, YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM ME SOON HOPEFULLY 😭

All my amazing mooties, artists, writers, editors, and absolutely hILAROUS people I follow, and the people who liked my personal posts before, the people who've been so nice to me here... You have no idea how much you've brightened my asocial ass life. If I sound like a broken record, it's because I am. I really need to reach out to people more, but It's so difficult for me to 🥲

Whether you post(ed) something earlier in the year, today, later, know that I love you, I love you, I love yooouu, thank you for brightening our dashes with your posts!! I'm so proud of you. You have no idea! 🥰

Anyway... because Idk how to change the topic 😓

My sis & I are both sober hobby artists, btw lol

What sprung these feelings... Not the the holiday spirit, tbh, not LOUIS FUCKING TOMLINSON'S BIRTHDAY. (IT'S ADDING TO IT NOW THOUGH LMAO 😭😭😭)

I listened to one of the most engaging & fun No Sleep Podcasts with my sister. It's 1am now but I'll be up for a little longer because she asked. It's all horror. Lol The last one we listened to hit so close to home at one point, but I couldn't completely focus because I was so shook at how my line art was coming out?? I made one of my life achievements before the year ended?? Like wHAT?? IT'S AN X-MAS EVE MIRACLE 😭😭😭

Gonna try to keep it up when I feel less sick... and a lil during. ✌️🤪 I HOPE THIS MEANS YOU ALL WILL GET MORE ART FROM ME??! That's so exciting?? I wanna be more proud of myself on my art journey next year... Once I find a job, a therapist and get on meds again, maybe that could be a reality for me...

My sister also made the most lovely gift for someone on the spot. She doesn't see how absolutely adorable & beautiful it is, but I do. I took some pics cuz it was that satisfying to look at?? I WANNA MAKE FANART OF IT.

We both need to believe in ourselves more... Gonna show her the photos of the cow I took in a couple of months. I hope she sees what I see some day. That's one of my holiday wishes 🥺

[loverboybitch]

no more main character syndrome. only trying to be the hottest romanceable npc from now on. i walk around the market all day and if you pick the flirty dialogue option three times i instantly teleport to hearthfire manor and stay there forever. by the light of mara.//.

[ateezreactionsandscenarios]

Attention

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

CW: Yunho is a bit of an ass at the beginning, marking, possessive Yunho, fingering (F receiving), oral (F receiving), overstimulation, slight restraint, creampie.

Prompts: 6) “Was it worth it?”

               72) “Use your words.”

               74) “Did I tell you to stop?”

Word count: 7840

Summary: Yunho has been off lately, work is getting to be a lot and he's not paying much attention to you anymore. At dinner you try to catch his attention but end up catching the attention of 7 others.

Prompt List               MasterList          Buy me a Coffee

It was 1am and you were still awake...Well just about. Your phone held tightly in your hand as you slowly drifted in and out of consciousness trying your hardest to keep your attention fixed on the show you were watching. You were waiting up for Yunho to get home, not that you needed to of course, but you always liked to know he got home safely especially on nights he wasn't with you.

Practice must have been running late again, that wad the whole reason Yunho decided to stay at the dorms with the rest of the group for the time being, he felt it was easier on you if he did that to save you waking up at the crack of dawn every morning and him waking you up when he'd come home late at night. Yet there you were, the same as last night and the night before, struggling to keep your eyes open just waiting for the message to come through that he was home.

Your eyes shot open when you felt your phone buzz in your hand. Quickly opening it, you were glad to see his text.

[1:12 am] Yunho: Home.

[1:12 am] Y/n: Yay!!! How was practice??

[1:15 am] Yunho: Good.

[1:15 am] Y/n: Oh good, well get some sleep you must be tired. 😥

[1:20 am] Yunho: Ok.

[1:21 am] Y/n: Ok, well I love you, sleep well ❤

[1:22 am] Yunho: Night.

You felt a small pang of hurt in your chest as you read over the texts. You tried to shrug it off as him just being tired, it was 1 in the morning after all, but the way he seemed so blunt and seemed to not give even an ounce of effort hurt. You were too tired to deal with all that right now and maybe after getting sleep the two of you would be feeling better in the morning.

The next morning you were woken by your phone ringing on the bed side table. In your half asleep state you didn't bother looking at who it was that was calling before answering.

"Hello?" You say, voice still thick with sleep.

"Hey sleepy head." You open your eyes fully at the sound of Yunho’s voice, he seemed a lot more normal in comparison to last night.

"We've got a short practice today and the guys wanted me to ask if you wanted to come for dinner with us tonight." You felt a small smile appear on your face.

"Of course, where are we going?"

"I'm not entirely sure, Hongjoong said he saw this nice restaurant the other day, he said it looked fancy but not over the top fancy." You hum along to his response as you thought about what you could wear, you didn't want to be too dressy but you didn't want to be underdressed either.

"That sounds great, I'll join you guys, tell them I said thank you for the invite." You must have been on loud speaker because as soon as you said thank you a chorus of "You're welcome" could be heard down the phone, making you laugh.

"I'll pick you up at 7."

"Okay, see you later, I love you." You smile to yourself, but the line went dead without a reply from Yunho. You're really trying not to worry about it, he's busy and tired and you understand that, but he's been so off it's starting to get to you. Shrugging the whole thing off you go over to your closet to find something to wear.

Evening rolls around and you're borderline ready. You decided on a black dress, you needed to get Yunho's attention especially after how he's been. Your dress was shorter than you'd normally wear but not too short to the point it was inappropriate and the neckline was just deep enough to give a small glimpse at your cleavage, you're grateful Yunho is tall since from his angle he might be the only one seeing it which is exactly what you planned. You never dressed for anyone but yourself but right now you were willing to put that moral aside for the night, feeling pushed aside yourself by Yunho you needed something that you knew would catch his eye and hopefully he'd actually give you the attention you'd been craving. Attention that lasted longer than 10 minutes.

You're busy fiddling with your earrings and checking over your makeup when you feel your phone go off.

[6:59 pm] Yunho: Here.

[7:00 pm] Y/n: I'll be down in a sec.

You smile giving yourself a mental thumbs up as you take one last look in the mirror before grabbing your bag and rushing to the door. Walking out the front door of your apartment building you see Yunho waiting by the car, dressed up in his smart casual shirt and jeans combo. The smile he gives you doesn't go unnoticed.

"Wow, wow, slow down." He chuckles as you start to rush over to him.

"We don't want to turn dinner into a hospital trip." He says holding you by the waist to stop the potential of you losing balance.

"I'm fine, I won't fall. You look great." You smile fixing the small curl in his collar.

"So do you, amazing actually." You feel a sense of pride take over as you watch his eyes scan over you with that look you knew all too well. It seems you got his attention, and guessing from where his eyes lingered a little too long, something else has his attention too. 

“Shall we get going?” You nod in response just before he leans down giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and opening the car door for you. You raise an eyebrow at him, silently joking with him about the chivalrous move while he rolls his eyes at you with a wide smile. He waits for you to get comfy in the car before closing the door and rushing over to his side and getting in.

The drive to the restaurant was like it always was with you two, singing along to the music that was playing and having a laugh. There’s a moment when the car falls into a comfortable silence, the music quietly playing in the background as you hum along. You notice how Yunho looks over to you, a smile on his face like he was seeing you for the first time all over again and you can’t help but smile back. You were internally scolding yourself for getting worried over some stupid texts, how could you second guess how he felt towards you, just the way he looks at you told you all you needed to know. 

Turning his attention back to the road, his hand moves from the steering wheel and settles on your exposed thigh, giving it a light squeeze telling you he was still giving you his attention even if he wasn’t looking at you, and that’s where his hand stayed the rest of the journey only leaving your thigh to change gears from time to time.

You pull up to the restaurant and your eyes light up from just the view of the outside. You guessed Hongjoong wasn’t lying when he said it was a bit fancy, it looked like something you’d find in Paris, and from this alone you started to feel that you were possibly underdressed. Before you could put your hand to the door handle Yunho was already out of the car and rushing over to your side, repeating what he did when he picked you up. Taking your hand he helps you out of the car and shutting the door behind you before linking your arm in his and walking into the restaurant. 

You started to wonder where everyone was, no one meeting you both outside. Your thoughts were answered when the hostess led you and Yunho over to a large table, everyone already sat down and deep in conversation. 

“Here they are, took your time.” Wooyoung jokes calling over and moving everyone’s attention to the both of you. You both laugh his comment off, but you’ve now realised no one seems to be looking at Yunho. All eyes seem to be on you. You feel a small blush creep up your cheeks at the sudden attention. Yunho notices all eyes are on you but he doesn’t think anything of it, glancing back down at you he can see why all the guys are staring, he knew if he was able to that’s all he’d be doing too. With his hand on the small of your back Yunho guides you over to the last two available seats, him taking the one next to Mingi and you next to Jongho. 

“You look nice tonight Y/n.” Mingi compliments as you approach your seat earning a small smirk from you.

“Are you saying I don’t look nice anyway?” You joke laughing at his flustered face as he tries to back pedal.

“No, no, you always look nice, I meant...”

“It’s okay Mingi, I’m pulling your leg.” You smile resting a hand on his shoulder in comfort, you could feel the tension leave his shoulders as he starts to giggle along with the others. 

Joking with the boys was like second nature to you now, when you were first introduced to the Ateez boys you were a bit more reserved, keeping your humour on the down low out of fear of offending one someone or making a bad impression, but over time you grew to be comfortable around them and you came out of your shell more and more to the point you can now be your true unfiltered self in front of them, and they love every second of it, to the others you’re like their little sister.

You take your seat and Yunho tucks you in earning him a lot of ooh’s and ah’s which makes you chuckle lightly, turning your face away from Yunho so he couldn’t see. Conversation quickly picks up where it left off, Hongjoong, Wooyoung and Seonghwa talking about the various figures they’ve been looking at followed by Wooyoung threatening to break one of Seonghwa’s Lego sets which soon breaks out into a small argument that Hongjoong tries to stop. San and Yeosang sharing funny videos with each other and saying how they remind them of different members of the group. Mingi and Yunho are laughing at some weird inside joke the two of them share that you are still yet to work out, and you’re conversing with Jongho about a TV show he’s been binging lately. 

“Y/n, I’m telling you, you need to watch it, it keeps you on the edge of your seat, one minute you think it’s this person and then the next your mind is changed completely. It’s a mind fuck.” Jongho rambles on excitedly with his arms waving all over the places as he tries to explain the plot without spoiling it for you.

“Jongho, I have one question...Will it piss me off?” His eyes widen and he frantically nods his head at you.

“I don’t get annoyed at TV that much but this has me screaming, I need to know who it is and I’m getting nowhere.” You nod along as he talks with a smile on your face. He knew your taste in TV shows all too well, you loved the type of mysteries that had you screaming and rethinking your list of suspects. 

“You’ve sold me, I need to see this show now.” You laugh and his smile widens knowing he finally has someone to rant to about it. You carry on talking about different TV shows and movies with Jongho but you’ve noticed he’s starting to get distracted every now and then but by what you have no idea and choose to ignore it completely. 

Yunho glances over to you out of habit but stops when he catches onto the way Jongho’s looking at you, the tips of the younger’s ears turning a light shade of red and his eyes wide with concentration. Yunho keeps a subtle eye on him until he notices how Jongho’s eyes would occasionally flit down to your chest while you look away for a second and then go right back to your face when your full attention is on him again. Yunho feels how he starts to frown with annoyance and can’t help it, he knows he can trust Jongho not to do anything but the way his eyes wander over you sparks up jealousy and possessiveness inside him, emotions he never usually feels. 

“One sec.” He quickly says turning his attention back to Mingi for a second. Mingi lightly nods and turns his attention to San and Yeosang jumping into their conversation as Yunho turns to you.

“What are you guys talking about?” He asks calmly with a small smile making sure to shuffle a little closer to your side and resting a hand on your thigh for Jongho to clearly see as a way of sending him a silent message. 

“Oh Jongho was just telling me about this show he’s been watching, we need to watch it when you’re over next.” You smile excitedly in hopes he’ll agree. 

“Jongho, is this that same show you’ve been raving about to us for the last few days?” The younger nods frantically again.

“You seriously need to watch it, come on if not for me do it for y/n.” He says as the both of you turn to Yunho with pouts on your faces pleading him to give in.

“Okay, okay, I’ll watch it, but if it’s awful I’m forcing you to have a Harry Potter marathon with me.” Jongho grimaces at the thought of it, it’s not that he didn’t like Harry Potter but it’s the thought of not only having to sit through all 8 movies in one sitting but it was also the thought of having to wear the robes. Yunho always made the others wear their house robes whenever it was on, he thought it was hysterical and a fun idea despite the groans from the others. 

“Oh y/n has to know this story.” You hear Seonghwa mention your name from  across the table which instantly grabs your attention.

“What story?” You ask leaning placing your arms on the table and leaning over them to be able to hear them better.

You were oblivious to the looks you started to receive, the way you were sat with your arms tucked under your chest meant your breasts were lifted a little more showing off a bit more cleavage. Wooyoung and San exchanged wide eyed looks silently confirming with each other that they were seeing the same thing. Noticing the youngers looks Hongjoong gave Wooyoung a discreet elbow to the ribs and a warning look telling him not to ogle at you.

“Oh.” Seonghwa clears his throat getting himself together to tell the story.

“At practice the other day we were working as usual after break but someone must have left an open water bottle on the floor.” He starts soon getting interrupted by Wooyoung who’s dying of laughter as the scene plays out in his head again.

“We’re getting to a pretty intense part of the choreography when...”

“Yeosang knocks over the bottle and slips on the water.” Wooyoung interrupts, wheezing with laughter while the others chuckle along, all except Yeosang who’s rolling his eyes.

“Oh come on Yeo, it was hilarious, you ate shit and kissed the floor.” The younger continues to wheeze out between fits of laughter.

“Oh, you want to try an embarrass me, how about we tell y/n what happened to you earlier?” Yeosang cocks a mischievous brow at Wooyoung who’s now rendered to silence at the realisation of what he’s talking about.

“You dare.” Wooyoung warns as Yeosang gives him a smirk before turning to you.

“Our lovely Woo over there likes this girl, she goes to the coffee shop a couple streets away from the dorms.” He starts. You can’t help but look at Wooyoung who’s scowling at this point and aww at him finding his crush really cute.

“We walked past the coffee place today and he saw her in there and got all excited. So being the good friend I am I told him to go for it and ask for her number, maybe even buy her a pastry.”

“You dare finish that story and I swear.” 

“I’m hyping him up, he gets excited and decided he’ll do it. Just as he turns to go in he walks into the glass door.” The table erupts with laughter while Wooyoung sits sulking in his chair.

“He got so embarrassed he turned around and walked off.” You’re close to tears with how hard you were laughing, granted you felt a little bad for Wooyoung, it must have been a horrible experience, but you couldn’t help the image of him bouncing off the glass door playing in your mind.

“OKAY HOW ABOUT...” Wooyoung screeches quickly standing from his chair. The sudden movement and lack of room he had made the table wobble, resulting in your glass of wine falling down the front of you. You quickly sit up straight rushing to grab your napkin to clean yourself up.

“Shit y/n, I’m so sorry.” Wooyoung panics, his hands waving around not knowing what to do with himself. 

“It’s okay Woo, you didn’t mean it, lucky the dress is black.” You laugh as you continue to wipe over your cleavage while Yunho assists in trying to clean up your dress as best he could. The table went silent. You and Yunho were too busy trying to clean up the wine to notice how all eyes had fallen on you again. They all wanted desperately to look away, to be respectful to not only you but Yunho as well, but the way your tits bounced a little as you wiped over them had them all in a trance, only to be made worse when you pulled the front of your dress forward a tiny bit to get the last of the wine off you. Jongho next to you became a blushing mess, getting the best view out of all of them, apart from Yunho. He knew he needed to tear his eyes away but no matter how much he tried he couldn’t. 

Once you were cleaned up as good as you could get you looked back up to everyone, who quickly diverted their gazes elsewhere but not before Yunho caught on, the grip on his napkin getting tighter with annoyance. 

The rest of dinner went smoothly, conversation flowed as normal and no more wine was spilt. One thing you did notice was Yunho’s hand never left you, he always had his hand either on your thigh, the small of your back or on your arm, it was comforting but at the same time a little strange given how he’d been acting lately. 

The end of dinner rolls around and Hongjoong quietly asks for the bill. Lost in conversation you don’t realise the bill has turned up until Hongjoong is pulling out his wallet. 

“Oh, how much does mine come to?” You ask catching Hongjoong’s attention as you sift through your purse fishing out your money.

“No, no, dinner is on me tonight for all of you.” Cheers from the boys erupted around the table and thanks from all of them could be heard, but you shake your head in protest.

“No, I can’t let you pay for me as well as the 8 of you it’s too much, please.” You hold out your hand in an attempt to hand him your cash.

“Y/n, relax I’m the one who mentioned it to Yunho about inviting you, so it’s only right I pay.” He smiles over to you waving his hand for you to put your money away. You still held your hand out until Yunho lightly held your wrist bringing it back to you.

“You might as well give up on trying baby, he might be small but he’s stubborn.”

“I heard that.” Hongjoong quipped shooting Yunho a quick glare before turning his attention to the bill. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the short interaction as you put your purse away. After the bill had been taken away you all get to your feet, grabbing anything you brought along with you and all headed to the door. 

“Thank you so much for the invite, I’ve had a great night.” You smile addressing them all.

“You’re always welcome y/n, no invite is ever needed for you.” Seonghwa replies softly, leaning down to give you a quick hug. After Seonghwa gave you a hug the others started flooding towards you also giving you hugs and telling you it was nice to see you again. You don’t stop the beaming smile that was on your face, feeling loved by all the boys always made you happy, you felt at home with them.

“Come on then, let’s get you home.” Yunho ushers, his hand finding it’s place on the small of your back again. You nod in response and give a small wave to the group thanking them again before you followed behind Yunho to his car.

Sitting in the passengers seat you let out a content sigh with a smile still on your face.

“Today was nice, did you have a good time?” You ask turning to face Yunho as he starts the car.

“Mhm.” Was all he replied with. You tilt your head in confusion at his bluntness and the seemingly serious look on his face.

“Are you sure, you don’t exactly look happy.” Another mmm was your answer, short and blunt, not even bothering to look at you. You could feel the smallest bit of annoyance bubble up inside you but you decide to leave it, snapping right now would just be cause for a bad situation. For the rest of the drive to your place the two of you sat in tension thick silence, him clearly not in the mood to acknowledge you and you not in the mood to start a fight over his childishness.

Pulling up to your place you step out of the car silently only turning to look at Yunho when he gets out himself.

“You coming in for a bit?” You tried to make it sound more like an offer than a straight out question. He gives you a small nod yes and follows you inside. Closing the door behind him you can’t shake the uneasy feeling that’s settled inside you, it would have been one thing if he dropped you off at home and went back to the dorms but now he’s stood in your living room with you, just the two of you and the tension is undeniably thick, so thick you could cut it with a knife. You needed to speak up.

“Yu, is everything okay, you’ve been a bit off.” You say stepping towards him lightly holding his forearm. He combs his fingers through his hair as he thinks of a response, frustration now clear on his face.

“Was it worth it?” You look up at him wide eyed and confused.

“What do you mean, what did I do?”

“What you pulled at dinner, you know what you were doing, that dress, wearing it around the guys, I don’t know if you noticed but all night they’ve been staring at you and it wasn’t your face they were staring at.” His tone is sharp and annoyed, his eyebrow raised as he spoke. 

“Yu, you’re over reacting, hell if anything I wore this dress to get a reaction out of you, you’ve hardly spoken to me for days and yes okay I get it you’re busy with work at the moment but I’m just sick of the one word answers all the time, you don’t seem to give a shit anymore.” Your voice raises the more you talk, the built up frustration spilling out, you can’t tell if you want to scream or cry.

“I just wanted to wear something that would get your attention and only your attention, I wanted to feel seen by you again.” Yunho was slowly getting closer to you as you spoke while you took steps back to keep some sort of distance between you as you continue to rant. 

Your outburst is cut short when your back hits the wall and Yunho towering over you, caging you in with an arm resting against the wall next to your head.

“Yu...what are...”

“So you wanted my attention huh?” He asks, voice low and his eyes piercing yours. You swallow thickly as you slowly nod at him keeping eye contact.

“Then my attention you’ll get.” Before you could say anything his lips were against yours in a bruising kiss, the force of it making your head slightly hit the wall behind you, keeping you pinned to the spot. Yunho’s lips were quick against yours making it difficult for you to keep up with his pace, it was like he wanted to do so much but had very little time to do it. One hand placed itself on the back of your neck while the other held you close at the hip, pressing you against his body. All the air in your lungs seemed to have been ripped out but the last thing you wanted to do was to break the kiss for a breath, if this was how you died then you’d die happy in the arms of Yunho and his lips against yours with bruising intensity.

Yunho is the one to pull away first but only momentarily, taking a breath before diving into your neck. A gasp escapes you as he leaves open mouth kisses along your pulse point, occasionally nipping at the sensitive skin earning him a small whine from you every time. This wasn’t the type of attention you were begging for but you weren’t complaining in the slightest, you were revelling in it becoming putty in his hands as you could feel the heat start to pool at your core. 

His lips trailed up to dot kisses along your jaw before descending again first to your neck, down to your collarbone until they finally hit the swell of your breasts. Yunho kissed and bit any skin of your breasts he could get to, small teeth marks started to litter them and when he pulled back he couldn’t help but smile down at them.

“What?” You ask breathing heavily.

“Mine. All of you is mine and now you have the marks to prove it, anyone does so much as peek at them and my marks will be there to greet them.” You felt dizzy over the thought of him marking his territory. 

“Just know there’s more where that came from baby.” Before you could even think of something to say you felt your feet leave the floor as you find yourself getting thrown over Yunho’s shoulder, his strength showing in how he’s able to carry you to your room holding you with only one arm that’s purely there for support. Kicking the door to your room open Yunho makes his way over to the bed, dropping you from his shoulder onto the mattress with enough force to make you bounce a little as you landed. 

The dark look in his eye tore through you, a shiver running down your spine as he slowly crawled onto the bed, settling his knee between your legs and bringing his face to yours. You lift yourself to rest on your elbows, the gap between you closing ever so slightly but close enough for you to feel his breath lightly fan across your face. He take a moment to take in the sight of you, wide eyes, waiting for his next move before he wraps an arm around your back pulling you up as he settles on his knees pulling you to straddle his lap bringing you back in for another fast paced kiss. 

Yunho’s hands run up your back, fingers gripping the zip of your dress slowly pulling it down making the garment fall loosely around your shoulders, exposing enough skin for him to resume his previous ministrations. Moving from you lips he trails kisses and bites along your jaw and down your neck, making sure to stop every now and then to suck deep purple marks in the most visible spots on your neck making sure you couldn’t cover them with ease. Once he was happy with the litter of bruises he’d left scattered across your neck he continued his work further south, decorating your collar and chest in the same way all while you let out soft sighs and whimpers as your fingers tangle in his hair pulling him in closer to you. 

While his lips keep busy along your chest, Yunho moves his hands to slide up your thighs and under your dress, effortlessly lifting the item of clothing off you completely, pulling away from you to let it come up over your head. He doesn’t move for a second as his eyes lock onto the matching set of lingerie you had hidden under the dress all night.

“New set?” He asks looking up to your face through his eyelashes.

“Went out and bought it not long after you called, thought it would be a nice little surprise if things got this far tonight.” Your voice is breathy, panting lightly from how worked up he’s already got you.

“Purple too...pretty.” He purrs dipping his head down to kiss along the swell of your left breast while one of his hands come up to give the right a bit of attention, lightly squeezing and ghosting his thumb over your already perked nipple causing a shaky sigh to leave your lips. 

"Purple suits you." He continues to purr against your chest, only for his hands to snake around the back and one swift motion, the clasp comes undone, bra straps dropping down your shoulders as it loosely hangs off your body. 

"Oops.” He smirks as he teases the light fabric straps down your arms, throwing the new garment onto the floor. Looking at your slightly annoyed face at the fact he didn't enjoy it on you long enough, a pout making its way onto your face.

"But..." You try to whine, silenced when a long finger of his is pressed against your lips, his eyes did all the talking for him. Keeping his finger pressed to your lips he raises himself a little to drop you onto your back once again, caging you under him. His finger slides down from your lips, pulling slightly at your bottom lip as he watches it bounce back into place before running his finger down the length of your torso until it hit the front of your panties. His eyes never leave yours as he hooks his finger under the hem and pulls the small, thin panties off you in one swift movement.

You became hyperaware at how exposed you were and how fully clothed he was, making you blush a little from embarrassment. You could feel the feather light touches of his fingers ghosting along the inside of your thigh, your hips bucking slightly to get him to touch you where you need it most, but only to be met with a small smirk. 

Yunho’s fingers continue to ghost along your skin, brushing up your slit with hardly any pressure. You grip his shirt tightly in your fists, looking up to him with pleading eyes and a pathetic whine as you try again to roll your hips into his hand trying to get even an ounce of friction to ease the crippling need you were feeling in your core. 

“Please Yunho.” You plead attempting to pull him closer to you but he keeps himself rooted to the spot.

“Please what Darling?” 

“Please touch me.” Your grip on his shirt tightened even more to the point your nails would be digging into your palms if it wasn’t for the fabric between them. Your mind snapping back momentarily to how Yunho is still fully clothed, you decide to waste no time rushing to undo the buttons of his shirt, but the shakiness of your hands make the task difficult.

“No.” Yunho growls, gripping both your wrists in one hand easily and pinning them above your head, bringing his face back down to yours so close to the point your noses almost touch.

“You’re going to be patient for me, understand?” You swallow thickly, hardly blinking as you slowly nod your head in understanding.

“Use your words.” He says tightening his grip on your wrists making you wince a little but purely out of pleasure.

“Yes, I understand...I’ll be patient.” Your words came out sounding more pathetic than you anticipated, the neediness perfectly clear in the way you spoke.

“Good girl.” Yunho purrs, biting your bottom lip before he lowers himself down your torso and settling between your legs.

You watch the way he quirks his eyebrow once his eyes meet your core which you know for a fact is soaked. He doesn’t make a comment, he simply bites his lip as he dips a finger to run along your slit again, collecting your wetness to bring it up to your clit, tracing painfully slow circles around the sensitive nub. Your breath becomes shaky again, exhaling in staggered puffs as you try to roll into his finger again needing more pressure to get any sort of relief. You hear Yunho tsk at you shaking his head a little before his free hand settles on your hip, firmly holding you down on the mattress.

“I told you Darling, be patient.” 

“But...I need more.” You whine gripping his hand on your hip trying your best to lift it just enough for you to be able to move again. You hear a small huff of a chuckle, looking down to him you watch as his other hand leaves your core completely and also settles on your hip helping him again leverage to hover over your face.

“Fine, I’ll give you more, but remember what they say...Be careful what you wish for.” Your eyes widen at his words, you really have no idea what you’ve just gotten yourself into. Seeing your wide eyes Yunho quirks an eyebrow at you with a smirk before dipping back down between your legs.

His fingers are back on you in an instant, but this time they weren’t so light. Pressing his thumb against your sensitive nub he rubs firm small circles making you yelp at the sudden stimulation. Yunho’s fingers dug into the flesh of your hip, the slight pain adding to the stimulation he was giving you. Your eyes were screwed shut and your mouth hung open slightly, heavy breaths filling the quiet room. You wanted desperately to open your eyes and talk a quick look at Yunho, to see his face, those dark eyes, to watch exactly what he was doing to you, but any time you gathered yourself together enough to even attempt it he either picked up the pace or added a bit more pressure again, making you screw your eyes shut even tighter.

The knot was already starting to slowly build and your heavy breaths turned into frequent moans and chants of please. You could hear a low hum before Yunho plunged two fingers into your soaked core, he wasn’t playing around tonight he was going straight for it. Scissoring you open first, being sure to prep you ready for later, but that was still a little while away. Your hands gripped the bed sheets to the point your knuckles turned white and high pitched moans filled the room when he started to curl his fingers, grazing your sweet spot. 

“F...Fuck.” Was all you were capable of saying, your mind gone to mush and the ability to form a coherent sentence had gone completely out the window. Picking up his rhythm the fingers inside you were now pumping into you at the same pace as his thumb circling your clit, it was mind-blowing to say the least and it had your eyes rolling back into your skull as you felt the knot quickly tighten even more threatening to snap at any given moment. 

The thrusts of his fingers were merciless, abusing your sweet spot and you clit simultaneously, you were so close to your high you could almost touch it but you needed just that little bit extra to get you there.

“Y...Yu...”

“You’re close Darling...Why don’t you cum for me, make a mess...go on.” His low voice and command shot straight through you, affecting you so much it had your orgasm hitting you there and then, his name leaving your lips in a flow of chants and your legs trembling uncontrollably as you tried desperately to close your legs around his hands. 

“Oh no, I’m not done with you yet.” Yunho chuckles removing his hands from your core and holding your legs open by your knees. You didn’t get a chance to recover from your orgasm before you felt his tongue lapping up your essence, licking a frim line straight up your slit and flicking your clit quickly with the tip of his tongue every time he got there. Sitting up with a yelp of overstimulation you look down to see your boyfriend’s head buried between your thighs making quick work of lapping up every last drop. 

“Yunho...So sensitive.” You cry out falling back onto the mattress squirming every time his tongue made contact with your swollen clit. You breathe out a sigh of relief when you feel his lips leave you for a moment as he lift his head up to look at you.

“You wanted more and that’s exactly what you’re getting, I told you be careful what you wish for.” And with that his lips were back on you, wrapping around your clit and sucking harshly. It took your breath away for a moment, the overwhelming sensitivity mixed with the pleasure had you falling limp, limbs trembling and feeling like jelly. 

The overstimulation started to subside and became pure bliss, Yunho’s tongue switching between long licks along your slit and quick flicks at your clit before sucking again. He knew exactly what you liked and what made you tick but at the same time he never failed to surprise you, sex with Yunho was a new experience every time. You knew it wasn’t going to be long before another orgasm started to build, the stimulation was nonstop, the overwhelming pleasure brought tears to the corner of your eyes and moans flowed from your lips uncontrollably. Yunho was highly amused at the way you became a mess because of him, you could feel his smirk against you and the puff of warm breath as he lightly chuckled to himself every time your body twitched in response to his touch. 

You didn’t get a chance to warn him how close you were this time, the orgasm hitting you full force unexpectedly making you gasp for air as every last breath was ripped from your lungs from the intensity. However, Yunho didn’t ease up on you, his quick paced licks continued over your core, once again lapping up every last bit of your essence. 

Once he was satisfied he pulled away from you giving you a small moment to recover. Your eyes open to look at him but your vision was reduced to a blur as you came down from your second orgasm. It was mere seconds before his lips crashed into yours again, his tongue wandering every inch of your mouth letting you taste yourself. You moan lightly into the kiss, your shaky fingers wandering to undo the buttons of his shirt which he allowed you to do this time. 

Yunho seemed to be desperate himself at this point, helping you unbutton his shirt and hastily removing it while his trousers and boxers follow closely behind landing in a heap on the bedroom floor to join your long forgotten dress and lingerie. You take a moment breaking away from the kiss to take a breath and to admire the sight you’d been longing to see for so long. Yunho fully exposed and hovering over you with that hungry look in his eye you’d seen many times before. You wanted to touch him so bad, no, you needed to. You wrap your fingers around his hard cock only being able to deliver two pumps before your hand was ripped away from him for the second time that night and pinned above your head.

“I want to touch you,” You pout looking at him with begging eyes, “I want to make you feel good too.” 

“You’re the one who was begging for attention, not me, so attention is what I’m giving you.” Yunho brings your other hand above your head pinning both wrists now in one hand as he uses his free one to line himself with your entrance and fully sheathing himself in side you. The stretch stung a little but it only amplified the pleasure you were already feeling, your walls fluttering around him straight away making him groan lowly. 

Not giving you a chance to adjust to the stretch, Yunho slowly started to roll his hips into yours, starting with a slow pace, mainly for himself, to keep himself composed to be able to ride this out for as long as he could. With the slow pace you could feel every vein in his cock and the way they drag along your walls, the sensation feeling like sparks of pleasure tearing through you.

The room was filled with the lewd sounds of your moans and his low groans accompanied by the sound of skin slapping skin as he gradually sped up. Your hands flexed under his grip desperately wanting to touch him but the grip he has on you make it impossible. You nudge his face with your nose catching his attention, your fucked out eyes begging him silently as you whine desperately trying to wriggle your hands out from his.

“What did I say earlier? Use your words.” Yunho growls, punctuating his command with a swift nip to your chest making you gasp in surprise.

“Please let me touch you.” You beg pathetically. “Please, please, please.”

“Since you asked so nicely.” Yunho lets go of your hands setting his own back on your hips, lifting you a little to allow his cock to reach deeper into you. Your hands flew to his shoulders the second you felt his tip graze your sweet spot, your nails digging into his skin leaving small crescent dents behind. Your mouth hung open in a silent moan. The way Yunho was now rutting into you at an ungodly speed had you constantly breathless, the pleasure every time he hit your sweet spot knocked the air from you lungs all while you tried to gasp for air at the same time. Your mind was fuzzy, all thoughts you could possibly have were non-existent the only thing present in your mind right now was Yunho and only Yunho. 

“Ah, shit.” Yunho breathes out against your neck as he feels your walls start to clench around him, another orgasm of yours building again bringing him closer to his edge. He was determined to make you cum a third time before he could even think about finishing himself even if the grip your walls had on him made it difficult. 

You were babbling complete nonsense at this point, you didn’t even know what you were trying to say to him, all you knew was your mouth was moving and sound was coming out but none of it was even close to resembling words, it was safe to say he’d fucked you dumb. Yunho slipped a hand from your hip to press his thumb to your clit, rubbing quick circles over the bud once again. You unconsciously arched into his touch, your slick body flush against his as he continued to work you closer to your high.

“Yu...C...Close.” You finally managed to say before your mind goes back to being putty.

“Cum for me Darling, I know you can do it.” His lips find your pulse point, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin pushing you even closer to your third orgasm which was seconds away from ripping through you. All it took was one last well placed thrust to have you screaming out his name, your shaking legs wrapping around his hips tightly as your whole body trembled under him.

Yunho’s pace became desperate, his thrusts speeding up even more, if that was even possible. The way your walls clenched around him like a vice had him on the edge.

“Too...Much...I can’t.” You cry out, the overstimulation now getting to be a bit too much for you to handle much longer.

“Just...A bit...Longer.” Yunho groaned out, punctuating every word with a harsh thrust that made your body tremble even more. The sweat was rolling down his temples, his hips stuttering as his high got closer and closer and his breathing heavy fanning his hot breath across your neck. Mere moments later he was burying his face him your neck, his hips stilling, his cock plunged deep inside you and his body twitching slightly as he came, shaky moans leaving him only to be muffled by your neck.

It took Yunho a minute or two to come down from his high before he pulled away from you and flopped down on the bed close to your side. There was a long silence between you as you both pant trying to get your breath back and recover from your post orgasm bliss.

“Y/n.” Yunho said quietly breaking the silence still a little breathless. You hum in response turning your head to look at him, his brows raised a bit in worry as he looked at you.

“I’m sorry for how I’ve been the last few days,” He starts, bringing his hand up to your waist stroking your skin lightly.

“Work has just been really busy and honestly, pretty shit. I get home every night and I’m so exhausted to the point I want to pass out as soon as I walk through the door.” Your hand finds his, squeezing it lightly as you look at him with a small smile.

“It’s okay, I always thought you were tired, it was just my stupid brain overthinking the blunt texts.” His eyes fall away from yours. He felt awful for making you feel that way, he didn’t even realise.

“I won’t do it again, I promise you that. You’re on my mind all day and the thought of you is what gets be through the tough days, so please never think I don’t love you or I don’t want to talk to you, I...” You silence his rambling with a sweet kiss which you could feel him melt into as his lips moved lazily against yours. You pull away to look at him, to take in every small feature, until you heard a small whine.

“Did I tell you to stop?” He complained puckering his lips again begging for more kisses. You quietly giggle at him before leaning back in giving him what he wants before pulling away again, cupping his face in your hands.

“All is forgiven and forgotten okay.” You smile at him as he nods back. “How about we get some sleep, I think you’ll need it after the last few days.” He nods again pulling the covers over the two of you before burying his face into the crook of your neck as he held you close to him.

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