#I am on a ROLL today (it is 1am)

[mushyfart]

DOUBLE post (kind of)!!!!

part 2 of old stuff I never posted (bonus under text)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

dumbass supreme says 'yeah ill play a quick game of rivals before bed why not' and gets a sextuple kill. and mvp. more at 1

bonus cause now i get This zesty lil icon whenever i get kills ... epic ....

dumbass supreme says 'yeah ill play a quick game of rivals before lunch why not' and gets mvp more at 1

[tender-rosiey]

1am thoughts, thinking about Gojo introducing kid Megumi to his newborn baby and Megumi being protective of them and even calling them his little sister/brother at one point and gojo is running LAPS he's just overwhelmed and happy over a small yet powerful phrase.

to protect — gojo satoru x f!reader

a/n: this is so cute i am gonna cry also megumi is like 11-12 here

you’re finally back home, after a long day at the hospital. you’re finally engulfed in the comfort of your bed while your husband is still sat up with his little girl bundled in his arms.

he hasn’t let go of her since you have been discharged.

“’toru, honey, you have to sleep soon; you can hold her tomorrow,” you sleepily murmur to your husband.

he nods and whispers, “I know. It’s just I—I can’t believe it’s real,” he kisses her forehead softly, “that she is finally here, our little princess.”

a tired smile makes its way to your lips. you hum in understanding, gently caressing his cheek. he sighs happily, before looking at you, “but you, missy, actually need to rest. you’ve had a long day.”

you frown and he chuckles, and his hand moves to stroke your hair, “rest, pretty. you were a champion today,” you move to nuzzle closer to his side and your arm wraps around his torso.

and so his little girl is comfortably nestled in one of his arms, while the other is wrapped around you so his hand can pet your head lovingly.

satoru truly feels like he is holding the world in his hands right now.

suddenly, the door slowly creaks open and a very familiar face peaks from it. satoru chuckles, “come in, megumi; they’re both asleep anyway.”

the boy carefully pads his way to gojo.

he is so used to seeing him being all goofy and unserious, so it catches him a bit off-guard how serene and quiet he is being right now. megumi looks at the sleeping baby then whispers, “what’s her name?”

“d/n,” satoru answers fondly.

megumi nods then observes her for a small while, “she really is a perfect mix between the both of you.”

a soft and quiet laugh escapes satoru’s lips, “you’re right,” he looks up at megumi with a grin, “you wanna hold her?”

the boy is taken back and his expression betrays him as nervousness takes over his face. his eyes don’t leave the girl and his gaze is more than troubled, “…what if I hurt her?”

satoru shakes his head, “you scared? she is my daughter; she is the strongest baby ever,” he grins, “no one can hurt her.”

megumi rolls his eyes, but quickly directs his focus to the little girl. he takes a moment, before he extends his arms. satoru gently places her in his arms. megumi’s hold on her is protective, and he doesn’t look as awkward as satoru thought he would.

actually, he is quite the natural.

he gently rocks her, and he can’t help but smile at her sleeping face. megumi whispers to her, “hi there.”

she coos at him, and starts swaying his arms around. she slowly opens her eyes, and a tiny smile appears on her chubby face. megumi’s eyes widen a little, and he immediately looks at gojo, “she is smiling.”

satoru laughs, “she is a very smiley baby, but i think she likes you a lot. she only smiled at y/n and me,” he feels you stir a bit in your sleep.

he pulls you closer and rubs your shoulder then he giggles at how quickly you fall back asleep. while satoru is occupied by you, megumi is staring in awe at little miss gojo.

later, satoru wakes up in the middle of the night to check on his little girl in the adjacent room. he groggily gets up, after kissing your forehead. he walks there, and when he finally reaches the room, he notices the lights are already on, and the door is left a bit open.

he peaks a little into the room, and sees megumi standing by the crib. he is fondly looking at d/n, and gently petting her head. he is whispering something to her, but satoru is still able to hear it all the same.

“don’t grow up to be annoying like your dad, please.”

satoru scowls, and contemplates bursting into the room, and bullying the hell out of megumi. however, he ultimately decides against it. he doesn’t end up regretting the decision.

megumi gently boops her nose, “you’re like a little sister to me now, so I promise to protect you.”

she squeals and makes grabby hands at him, and he chuckles, “you believe me, huh?”

satoru slowly backs away from the door and walks away. when he is a safe distance from the door, he starts running and bursts into your shared room.

he dramatically falls to the ground, “that was… the cutest thing ever! after d/n and y/n’s smiles, of course.”

he stands up, proudly. his heart is at ease as he now knows that there is yet another person to look after his baby girl, if something happens. a content grin is on his face as he enjoys the silence and comfort. it’s short lived, as always.

a pillow is thrown at his face, and he stumbles to the ground.

“that’s for waking me up, satoru!”

“noooo, baby, I am sorry!”

“uh—,” megumi awkwardly stands at the door, holding d/n up, “guys, she pooped.”

satoru grins, and excitedly stands up—with a camera that he got out of nowhere to take photos of her—he coos, “aww! your first shit, pretty girl? what a good girl!”

megumi places her on the changing table beside your bed. the smell of her great ‘achievement’ fills the door, and he takes the chance of gojo being distracted to run out of the room, before another nuclear explosion drops.

the girl is gleefully clapping upon seeing her dad, and he reciprocates the smile tenfold. he gently holds her feet and sways them slightly, “such a big girl, already pooping!”

“want daddy to change your diapers for you?” he coos and the girl just puts her thumb in her mouth and starts kicking her feet. he chuckles and slowly opens the diaper. he is met with the vilest smell, and he can’t believe his sweet daughter can produce such smells.

however, he quickly composes himself, and tries to make his way through the travail of changing the diaper. he proves to be too weak because he, after a moment, looks at you, “uh, babe, teamwork makes the dream work?”

you groan, falling back to the bed.

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copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[prologue-ae]

| Vibrations | Yu Jimin-Karina

Warnings:Smut, some other stuff sorry I’m so bad at descriptions, MAFIA YU JIMIN + G!p

Yu Jimin x fem reader

Ugh seriously how stupid could you be? Your sweet girlfriend, the nerdy loser you’ve been dating for at least what? Like 9 months now is part of the MAFIA? Are you kidding me right now. Those were the only thoughts in your mind as your friend spoke to you about it. She had told you when she was out clubbing, she had walked out of the club at like what 1AM? While she saw Jimin walk into some dark alley with a bunch of men in black suits and a couple women, ones she recognised as Jimins close friends: Minjeong, Aeri and Yizhou.

You were busy zoning out thinking about it while your friend Yunjin stood infront of you explaining, half rambling about some random guy too. You’d asked her at least a THOUSAND times if she was SURE it was Jimin and how she even knew or assumed that she was some mafia leader? Yunjin had repeatedly told you another THOUSAND times, she’d heard one of the guys call her boss and saw a GUN. You thought she must’ve either mistaken Jimin for someone else or hallucinated because of the alcohol because, seriously. In what world was your sweet girlfriend part of things like that? Not this one that’s for sure.

You snapped out of your train of thought as Yunjin snapped her fingers infront of you, you’d heard her ask “are you even listening Y/N?” As she looked at you with a slight pout and narrowed eyes. You blink and nod rapidly looking up at the taller girl saying “Yeah, Yeah! Course I am” she raised a brow and said “Oh really? What did I last day hm?” Your mind went blank, you blink and sigh admitting “Fine fine! I wasn’t but I have good reason, you can’t just drop a bombshell on me and expect me to just stand here and listen about some guy I mean. Come on Jimin seriously?” Yunjin nods and says “I swear! I’d sobered up by then” you roll your eyes rubbing your temples saying “your stressing me out Yunjinie” she glares and says “you think I’m crazy don’t you” you respond “Well! How would you feel if your best friend was telling you a girl that’s practically a big loser in a hot girls body and someone you’ve dated for 9 months, is a mafia boss!” Yunjin huffs and mutters “I’d believe them duh” you give her a ‘seriously’ look and sigh before seeing Jimin down the hall. The taller girl had long black hair and curtain bangs, she’d done in a small braid today and had on her black glasses, she wore an oversized hoodie and a leather jacket with some baggy jeans. A basic outfit, and considering it’s winter warm as well. She waved at you excitedly, with that dumb cute smile of hers, the one you fall for again and again every day.

Yunjin mutters “I’ll go now then, have fun with the boss” you scoff and she scurries away, most likely to find Chaewon. You blink as the taller girl came up to you, you smiled at her hugging her neck. She hummed hugging your waist as she says “hi baby, what’s up?” In her usual cheery voice. You say “nothing much honey, hey can I ask you something?” The girl tilts her head and nods as you ask “where were you last night?” She hums and says “at home why? My parents are on a business trip remember” You nod and think ‘ugh Yunjin is either really dumb or she’s a great liar, but last time she tried to lie it was painfully obvious.. so it has to be real right..?’ You hum and nod saying “ok baby!”

She smiled at you and says “you look cute today” you’d dressed nicely to be honest, you had a black skirt on, white stockings, a oversized hoodie (her hoodie) on and you’d forgotten a jacket but it was fine since you were in school anyway. You say “thank you baby!” She hums kissing your forehead as she asks “you wanna come around tonight?” You nod and say “but you can pick me up right or maybe come home with me? I wanna pack my skincare and stuff, I can borrow your clothes right?” Pouting at her, she nods and says “alright, I’ll pick you up after class, you have history last right?” You nod

(Time skip)

You blink walking out of your history class while you see Jimin, you smile running up to the girl hugging her, she jumps adjusting her glasses before hugging back. You hum as she asks “ready?” You nod, she took your bag for you. Obviously as the gentlewoman she is, she’d never let you carry your own stuff, or open your own doors, or pay, or- whatever you get the gist. Your sweet girlfriend however.. was a bit edgy you suppose, I mean maybe you could tell from the leather jacket or.. the fact she drove a motorcycle?

You hum skipping along holding her hand as you reach the doors, she opened it for you, you smile walking through before she takes off her leather jacket putting it on you. You mumble “aren’t you cold..?” She shakes her head and says “I have layers underneath I’m fine baby!” You nod and blink walking saying “I was fine really..” she shakes her head again and says “your sensitive to the cold honey” you blush slightly, she had the habit to memorise small details about you. You found it charming, she unlocked her bike and placed a helmet on your head, you hum as she lifted you with ease placing you onto the bike, while she got her own helmet on and sat on the front. She said “hold tight, you know the drill don’t you baby?” You nod hugging her waist tightly burying your head in her back. She smiled as she started the bike.

During the ride you felt your face burning, not from heat. You were severely flustered, the bikes motor made the seat warm.. and the bike vibrated constantly. You had to sit open legged on it but remember, you’re wearing a skirt.. you thought ‘shit I’m not wearing fucking tights I just have underwear on. You were extremely sensitive, almost like a baby. Jimin and you had done it before, she liked to be soft with you but obviously this was out of her control and you were having a hard time keeping it in. You blushed bright red as Jimin continued to drive.

Eventually it was around 10 minutes away from your house and you were already starting to grow ache in your legs, you’d whimpered every time you hit a speed bump and moaned slightly, every “you alright sweetie?” From Jimin just made you wetter, and more hazy.

You bury your head deeper whimpering as the vibrations got to you while she drove. You’d finally made it home but you were pretty sure you’d already cummed in your panties. Jimin? She was at the front steering playing the ‘oblivious’ and sweet act she always did. Was she actually? No. From the beginning she’d known yunjin had seen her with her gang, she’d known you were wearing a skirt that’s why she offered to drive you. Being the sensitive baby you are even if you’d worn tights you’d feel it anyway, she smirked while she drove, every little sound she’d heard, every tight squeeze, every jolt in your body. She’d felt it and knew god was she hard right now. The plan was to help you get your stuff then drive back to her place and.. well you know.

That would surely help you forget about whatever assumptions yunjin had told you (which were correct) and help get rid of her raging boner, had she already had one even before getting on the bike? Yeah, god you looked good in that skirt, and she already had to jerk off in the school bathroom but she has such high stamina :( . Poor girl.

Anyway, you’d arrived at your house feeling sensitive and overstimulated. Jimin hummed getting off taking off her helmet and yours next, she tilted her head her eyes looking at your face. It was red and had a light layer of sweat your hair was messy and you looked dazed. She asked “baby what happened?” You pout slightly mumbling “your bike.. vibrated a lot..” she blinks looking down before ‘realising’ she says “oh my god! I’m so sorry baby are you ok?” You nod hugging her neck as she helps pull you off her bike seeing the wetness on her seat. She smirks slightly before carrying you inside to help you pack stuff.

You hugged her as she packed everything for you, too tired and dazed to care at all or do anything, you heard her deep voice in your ear say “baby, since your so.. frustrated why don’t we have some fun when we get to mine hm? With parents gone and all” you nod slightly. Then back on the bike it was, it was all blurry and fuzzy for you, just felt too good.

Once you’d reached her house she rushed you inside, wanting to see the mess on your sweet cunny already. She’d carried you inside to her bed laying you down, you squirmed slightly as she pushed you down gently getting at level with your skirt. You whimper slightly as she pushed up your skirt while she bit her lip seeing your ruined panties.

You whine as she pulls back the elastic and it springs back onto you. She smirked slightly and says “baby can I be a bit rougher today hm? Darling?” You nod slightly. She hums as she pulls down your panties putting them aside and blows air onto your pussy. You squirmed mumbling “mph!~” she smirked more and said “alright sweetheart, not gonna hold back on you today Kay?” You nodded again. She dived into your pussy eating you out, her fingers circled your clit in a figure 8 motion, while her tongue lapped and thrusted at your entrance. She hummed the vibrations going straight to your already sensitive core, she licked the previous cum from the bike incident while her tongue slid in and out. You whimper babbling slightly as she continued, she mumbled into you “who’s a good girl hm?” You whine as she stops her eyes looking up at you, you mumble “w-why’d you stop..” she says “say who’s my good girl baby” you pout mumbling “me..” as she dove back in. You moaned while she went quicker, a knot formed in your stomach, oddly familiar. It felt almost burstable, like a bubble. You whine “close..” your hands pawing at her head while her nails clawed at your thighs keeping them open for her and keeping your skirt up.

You came quickly while she lapped it all up, Jimin smirked as she flipped you over, muttering “my pillow princess hm? You can be a little uncomfy because you’ll feel so much better like this right hon?” You nodded again before she says “words sweetie” you mumble “yeah I’ll be fine..” she smirked finally being able to pull down her jeans and boxers, her erection springing out. She groaned saying “ugh been waiting”

She pushed your legs open pushing into you, she groaned holding your hips tightly the tightness of you clamping her down, you moaned and whined burying your head in a pillow drooling slightly. The drool dribbled down your chin and onto the pillow while Jimin began her thrusts groaning and rubbing the side of your hip for comfort as she thrusted harder. Soon the sound of your high pitched moans and mewls filled the room, with her moans and low groans, the sound of skin slapping VERY distinguishable. The only other sound being the clock in the background, but it was drowned out by all the sounds you, Jimin and your bodies were making.

The position you were in was something jimin always wanted to have, you laid and bent over onto the bed drooling and wetting the pillow while she absolute ruined you, your and her cum mixed dripping out of your hole onto your thighs while she continued thrusting, remember when I said she had a high stamina? Yeah this is the high stamina that I was talking about. She kept going for maybe 2 or 3 hours, you were so overstimulated you ended up passing out.

(Time skip)

When you woke up the sun was peeking through the curtains, while you laid in her hoodie and some new panties in new bedsheets, and you smelt like her shower gel, you felt a arm around you. You rub the sleep from your eyes groggily as you blinked seeing Jimin with her arm encircled around your waist and her eyes gently looking at you, you hum happily kissing her cheek. She smiled kissing your forehead saying “sorry darling.. was it too much hon?” You shake your head mumbling “just felt t’good I fell asleep.. you know I’m sensitive” she hums and nods saying “I won’t get as carried away again Kay?” You nod, she hummed and said “you can sleep more I’ll be here still..” you nod slightly burying your head in her neck sleeping again.

She smiled before her phone rang, she picked it up. It was one of her men, he spoke through the phone “boss, Minjeong is asking for you. She needs help with the positioning for the next crime.” Jimin sighed and said “I’ll be there yeah? Remember don’t fuck up the mafias plans.” The guy made a yes sound before ending the call. She sighed kissing your forehead muttering “I’ll make it home in time..” before leaving. You opened your eyes WIDE, you hadn’t fallen asleep yet…

[evansbuck-ley]

6:38am

The sound of retching coming from the bathroom is what woke him up at this ungodly hour. Normally, he is an early riser, typically out of bed before his alarm goes off. But today, after getting to sleep at 3 am because a very drunk Buck kept insisting on just one more kiss, he much rather be sleeping.

Reluctantly, he pulled the duvet off himself and pushed out of bed, heading to the source of the sound. That’s where he found his boyfriend, forehead resting on the cool, porcelain of the toilet, groaning as he suffered from his hangover. Tommy immediately fell to his knees beside him, sitting on his heels as his hand came to run soothing circles across the small of his back.

“I’m never drinking again.” Buck grumbled, turning to face Tommy, his cheek now squished against the toilet. His cheeks were flushed red and a tear rolled down his face from how violent he had been throwing up mere moments before. Tommy smiled at him sympathetically, shuffling closer, allowing Buck to fall into him, his head burying into his chest with a moan.

“I told you drinking a whole bottle of champagne through a beer funnel was not your wisest idea.” His hand travelled up his back, coming to cradle the back of his head. Buck let out another groan before repositioning himself so he can look at Tommy.

Sweet, wonderful Tommy who managed to leave his shift a few hours early so he could be Buck’s New Year’s Eve kiss. Who drove him to Taco Bell at 1am to get him some food to help sober him up. Who is now sitting on the bathroom floor with him, his hair wild and unkept and eyes still droopy from sleep, with a loving, dopey smile on his face. “You don’t have to sit with me,” Buck said weakly as he pushed himself from Tommy’s grasp, moving so his head was resting against the toilet once more.

“I know I don’t have to. I’m here because I want to.” Tommy replied.

“You do?” Tommy bought his hand to brush Buck’s sweaty curls from his forehead before pressing a delicate kiss against his birthmark.

“Of course. I would sit here for hours if it means sitting here with you.”

[lovestay-channie]

Recharging Kisses - Lee Minho

Pairing: Lee Minho x gn!reader

Genre: fluffy

Summary: minho needs some extra loving as he has been preparing his comeback

Word Count: 804

Warning: n/a

Comeback season can be pretty tough for Minho. The constant late night dancing sessions, recording and re-recording schedules, days long music video shooting, and schedules upon schedules upon schedules. There was a routine for these hectic days. Wake up at 7AM, have a busy day, and come back around midnight or 1AM. He wishes this season of time was less busy, but in order for everything to be perfect, it had to go this way.

He can’t help but feel bad for his poor fiance at home who barely sees him. All he hears them say is, “Have a good day at work… Let’s get you to bed… I love you, goodnight bubs.” He felt like such a bad partner who can’t be home for his lover. 

Thankfully, today was finally a day where the only thing they had to do was interviews. However, by the end of the day, Minho is drained. The constant same questions, being in the same room all day, only moving to change seating positions, go to the bathroom, or have a quick bite to eat. With it just being interviews, he is actually able to come home for dinner for once.

Minho enters his shared apartment to smell an amazing home cooked meal. He instantly scans his eyes over to the kitchen to see you jamming out to your music while cooking. A slight smirk creeps on his face. He loves to see you happy. He quietly sets down his backpack and takes off his shoes. With soft steps, he creeps up behind you. He looks over your shoulder to see what you were cooking: spicy chicken with rice and kimchi. A simple yet comforting meal. He then carefully wraps his arms around your waist. This causes you to slightly jump since you didn’t know he was home yet. “You scared me a little,” you chuckle. 

“Sorry,” Minho mutters into your neck. Your heart flutters at the affection you have been missing. 

“Aw, it’s okay,” you smile. You set down the fork and knife that was in your hand to turn around to face your partner. You snake your arms around his shoulders to give him a nice, warm hug. “Welcome home, my love.” 

You play with the ends of his hair. You know how hard he has been working lately. You feel so proud of him, yet you also feel so bad for everything he has to do to prepare for a new comeback. He loves his job, and you know that. But sometimes you can’t help but think every now and then that it’s too much for someone to handle. 

Before wanting to turn back to finish plating his meal, you place a sweet, soft kiss on his cheek. You go to turn around, but the arms around you tighten. You smile at Minho’s clinginess. Your lips meet his cheek again before attempting to continue what you were doing. “One percent,” Mihno sighs.

Giggles escape your throat at Mihno’s words. “What?” 

“I’m at one percent,” he says, taping his cheek. You roll your eyes and peck his cheek a few more times. “Hmm, three percent.” 

“Minho!” you giggle into his neck. 

“What? I had a long day, and I need recharging. Only your kisses can recharge me!” he exclaims. 

You smirk at his explanation. You love this side of him. He rarely admits that he needs some love to feel better. He normally likes to play a guessing game where you have to figure out what he wants because he won’t say it. Since he is so tired, he is vulnerable to saying what he wants. 

“Whatever you say, bubs,” you say before peppering his cheek with more kisses. Your lips move all around his face: his cheeks, forehead, nose, jaw, neck, everywhere but his lips. 

You look at Minho to see  a smile plastered on his face, “Hmm, 75%. I am almost at full battery.” 

“I think I have an idea to get you to 100%,” you say. 

“And how are you going to do that?” 

“Close your eyes and find out.”

He follows your instructions to close his eyes. Once his lids are shut, you delicately place your lips onto his. Your hands cup his cheeks to bring him a little closer as if he wasn’t already close enough. Light kisses like this show the love you have for each other. They are pure. It makes both of your hearts flutter with love. These kisses had all kinds of different meanings. Some kisses were saying ‘I love you’. Some were saying ‘I’m sorry, but I’m here now.’ Some were saying ‘Thank you.’ Words he has a hard time expressing sometimes, but you can feel them in his kisses. 

After several kisses, he pulls away to kiss your cheek. A final ‘Thank you’. 

“100% completed.” 

[malfoy-mrsdracomalfoy]

The Sunset Moment

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

House: Unspecified

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3285

Summary: Draco and his Fem!Reader girlfriend reflect on their relationship. Teeth-Rotting Fluff.

author's note: Mobiles are used as well as an owl, so that may be a bit odd. A brief mention of socials pops up. Indulge me?

Reader's Point Of View

Draco enters his dorm. He knows immediately that his girlfriend is here because the curtains are open and light is shining in. He usually leaves them drawn like Boo Radley. Once the door closes, he transforms from refined to... a slightly less tense version of refined.

I am waiting on his couch, legs curled up under me and a book on the couch's armrest in front of me. It's 3:30pm and that means his duties are finished and I get him the rest of the evening.

"Hey Dragon." I say sweetly, smiling at the handsome man. He greets me with a kiss and immediately plops into the couch next to me, sighing deeply. I curl up to his side as he faces the ceiling and does a small neck roll. I keep my eyes trained on him, seeing what kind of day he could've had. He faces forward and does five shoulder rolls, thoroughly releasing any tension left in them. I don't push. I let him tell me things when he's ready to.

He turns his full attention to me, and a smirk takes over his face. He's in a good mood, I sigh in relief and meet his smirk. "What?" I whisper, smiling.

"You're the only one who gets to see me like this." he gestures to his relaxed position, arm wrapped around my waist. "Instead of the Slytherin Prince everyone else sees." I lean into him comfortably, arm tucked behind his back where he's pressed against the plush couch.

"A cunning Slytherin Prince by day, lover boy by night." I reflect on the love letters he sends me via Eurasian Eagle-Owl in the middle of the night, "I got your letter by the way. The one you sent me this morning at 1am. You should consider giving him a break. You're sending the poor guy to my window practically every night."

His face flushes slightly, ears turning pink at the mention of his love letter. "Oh? Someone is feeling cheeky today." He mutters, but his arm tightens around me anyway. "And stop calling them 'love letters'. They're just notes." I begin to read the one I got this morning. I was using it as a bookmark, re-reading it throughout my day. I read,

"My darling, the second I met you, you began to draw memories in my mind I could never erase. You give me peace in a lifetime of war. I went through so many things that still make me fall silent when I have to think about them. But, I'm so glad to live in a world where there is you. For the first time, I always feel seen. Not the person I pretend to be, but the broken, aching, beautiful mess of a soul beneath it all." I finish, leaning in to press a sweet kiss to his cheek. His breath catches slightly at my kiss, and he turns to face me, eyes intense. "You..." He clears his throat, trying to maintain his composure. "You're not suppose to quote my ridiculous poetry back to me." His hand comes up to touch where I kissed him.

"It's not ridiculous. I think they're all very sweet." I say, voice full of love. He rolls his eyes but his lips twitch upward, "It's sappy and over the top." He argues, but there's no bite, only bashfulness.

"You rival the cheesiness with shirtless selfies you send to me." I tease. His face turns an even deeper shade of red, and he buries his face into my hair to hide it. "You're never going to let me live that down. It was one time. I was bored, okay? You have a thing for my abs." His tone is now flirty.

"Yes they're very nice and I've taken quite a few pictures of you with no shirt on my own phone." His head shoots up, eyes wide with mock outrage.

"What are you doing with those pictures?" He demands but I detect a hint of amused curiosity in his voice. "Are you showing them to other people? Because I will hex them into oblivion."

"No!" I declare, quickly. "It's your body and our private moments. I would never show anyone them." He seems to relax at my words, nuzzling back into my neck. I began rubbing his chest, sliding my hand from peck to peck and up and down. Tracing the shape of him, burning it into my memory. "Good." He murmurs. "Those are for my eyes only. And maybe yours since you seem so obsessed with my chest."

"Don't forget your shoulders, too." I slide my hand up to his shoulders now, touching him, tracing him. He chuckles softly, the sound vibrating against my skin. "My shoulders, my chest, my abs." He lists teasingly, shrugging slightly to make his muscles flex under my hand. "Is there any part of me you're not obsessed with examining?"

"I'm not a super fan of your morning breath but that's about it." I tease. He laughs, the sound richer and warmer than usual. "My morning breath, huh?" He tilts his head to the side, his nose brushing against my neck. "I'll keep that in mind. Though I should warn you, I tend to be a bit... cranky in the morning."

"Don't I know it. You threw a pillow at me because I tried to open the curtains in your dorm." His lips curl into a sheepish grin at the memory. "Well, could you blame me? It was disgustingly early, and you were behaving like some sort of demented pixie, bouncing around the room." He shudders dramatically for effect.

"I was seizing the day! Plus, when we took a walk later, you picked up a heart-shaped pebble and gave it to me. I still have it, by the way." He rolls his eyes, pretending to be nonchalant about the memory. "You make it sound like some grand romantic gesture," he mutters, his fingers tracing patterns on my arms. "It was just a stupid pebble."

"It will never be just a stupid pebble." I lay my chin on his head, feeling his breathing on my chest. "And you know what else?" I say

"What else?" He asks, voice low and cautious, wondering what other soft things he does without realizing.

"You took a picture of the sunrise that morning and sent it to your mother. It was the sweetest thing ever." He face turns red but this time he doesn't try to hide it. "Bloody hell, you noticed that? I deleted it right after." He mumbled against my neck, thinking he lied smoothly. He didn't. "For someone who stares at my physique so much, I'm surprised you even took notice of other things."

"I like to store memories away. Look..." I take out my phone, using his face to unlock it since he was already facing down. He smirks and the phone unlocked immediately. I guess it's used to him looking like that. He watches as I swipe to my gallery and his eyes go wide. "Bloody hell" he comments.

"4,000 photos and videos, yes. Hold please." I begin clicking through the several albums I dedicated to him. He leans back against me, watching as I scroll through. "4,000? You've been busy." He murmurs, his fingers absent-mindedly playing with my hair as he waits. I find what I'm looking for and show it to him, victoriously. It's a selfie of the two of us doing facial masks together. He stares at the photo in disbelief, a genuine smile spreading across his face. "You kept.... a picture of us doing face masks?" He chuckles softly, his thumb brushing over the screen to zoom into our faces. "You look ridiculous. I look.. surprisingly not terrible."

I scoff jokingly and say, "Your skin was glowing the next day thanks to that." He snorts, shaking his head. "My skin was glowing because I have amazing genetics. It was not because of that stupid mask." He argues but finds himself smiling again as he looks at the photo, remembering that silly day. "You know what?" He says.

"What?" I lock my phone, but not before he notices my home screen wallpaper is a selfie of us, him sleeping on my shoulder. His eyes widen in mock outrage and he taps the screen again, spotting his sleeping face. "You've got to be joking! Have you been staring at my face every time you unlock your bloody phone?" But despite his protest, his voice carries a hint of pride.

"I just thought my hair looked pretty that day" I tease. He scoffs dramatically, a playful glint in his eye. "Right. It's not got anything to do with the devastatingly handsome man napping on your shoulder."

"Hey, watch it! That's my boyfriend you're speaking about." I pretend to be defensive. His smirk widens at my teasing remark, the twinkle in his eye still ever-present. "I think you mean the incredibly lucky bastard who somehow ended up with the gorgeous girl and her 4,000 photos." He tells me. I give him a side hug, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him in for a sweet kiss. "She's the incredibly lucky one." He melts into the hug, his arms wrapping around me with practiced precision. He kisses me back softly before saying, "Wait until you see the ridiculous number of photos I've saved of you on my phone."

"And you take the worst photos of me." I exaggerate teasingly. He pulls back slightly, a wicked grin taking over his face as he pretends to be offended. "Worst photos? I happen to be the most skilled photographer" He says, boastfully. "All the candid shots of you making silly little faces while you're distracted are masterpieces." He boops my nose playfully.

"Me looking dumbstruck at the camera with butterbeer foam on me upper lip is not a masterpiece." I counter.

"It is when you're making that face. You know, the one where your mouth is open slightly and you're..." He trails off, snickering as I give him a warning look. "You know, nevermind." He sits up to get his phone out of his pocket, holding it to my face. Confused, I look on and watch as his phone unlocks immediately. I guess I make that face as often as he smirks to be recognized so quickly. "Let's see these masterpieces." I tease. He laughs in anticipation, giddy even. Handing it to me he says, "Go on then." He responds, biting his lips to stop from making an excited smile. I raise an eyebrow at him before looking back at his phone in my hand. I guess he's quite proud of whatever these are.

"Ooo! This one is pretty. I'm going to send it to myself to post on my socials." I tease, knowing how protective he gets. His eyes widen in mock panic, "Nooo! You can't. I took them and I don't want them posted except on my pages for credit." He says being dramatic. Again.

Knowing he was going to theatrical, I quickly left his gallery and opened his camera instead. Turning it to selfie mode, I hold it up with a kissy face, him freaking out in the back. I look at it, laughing heartily at his comical expression. He's making an overdramatic "No" face behind my shoulder, his eyes half shut from me taking it mid-blink. It shows one of his hands reaching for the phone, a blurry patch of skin on the top right of the photo. It was hilarious. He watches warily as I go back to his gallery, quickly AirDropping it to my phone. "Okay stop smiling like that" He says, unamused, looking at our selfie. "That's vile." He stares at his own face with contempt. I nudge him with my shoulder and laugh. He breaks into a grin despite himself.

"You're going to regret this. You and that bloody phone." Voice slowly raising higher in pitch. I ignore his drama king threat and begin raking my eyes up his gallery. I quickly become shocked, mouth hanging open as I say, "There's hundreds of them!" I exclaim. Out of his 300 photos, I'm about 295 of them. His gallery is filled with countless candid photos of me. Me laughing, me sleeping, me making funny faces in different instances without realizing it, me blowing my hair of my face. There's even some videos of me walking ahead of him, turning back to look at him with a smile. There's one of me brushing my hair while looking into the mirror and several of me singing while doing mundane things around his dorm. I spot a video of me twirling in the rain. A blurry video catches my eye and I play it.

The video was of me laughing so hard you can hear me slightly wheezing. The camera slides from underneath the table in which the recording started. I spot the familiar black of his slacks and the gleam of his rich-boy shoes. He was sneakily recording me.

In the video, I begin to lean forward, clutching my stomach and laughing silently. The tears of joy were flowing down my face. You hear him half-heartedly trying to insult me off-camera. He would not let the camera be on anything except me. If I moved, so did he, keeping me in center frame. It doesn't take long for him to break down in laughter too. The rest of the video is us laughing, breathing heavy. He faces the camera to himself for a split second to show his face was wet with laughter tears and he flips it back, zooming into my face which also was covered in laughing tears. He zooms back out, putting me center-frame again. Now, I'm wiping my tears, cheeks flushed with joy. The video ends. I guess he's a memory hoarder, too.

"What was so funny?" I had started laughing along while watching the video without realizing it. When I looked up he was looking at me with such a tender gaze I felt not only loved, but cherished. He shakes his head, "You asked me if I would still love you if you were a worm." He chuckles fondly at the memory, "And I told you, 'I would lose a worm, babe'." He laughs and says "I don't know what you were on about then, I still don't now." I turn and hug him, crawling on his lap and laying my head on his shoulder.

"You remember all those details?" I ask in awe.

"I remember everything." I look into his eyes and I'm met with sincerity and devotion. I kiss his nose and begin to look through his albums again. He has them clearly labeled by date and duration. I shake my head with a smile. He's so organized, I love that about him. I take a look at his 'favorites' album.

"Why do you have a picture of me taking a picture of the sunset in your favorites?" I laugh. He smirks, his eyes crinkling at the corner and he looks at the photo. Smirk melts into an entranced grin. It's a close up of my face, the sunset reflected in my eyes and my phone was in my hand, frozen mid-air. "Because that's when I realized I was well and truly fucked." He admitted.

"When I was staring at a sky?" I giggle. He hugs me closer, one hand sliding up my back as look at the photo together. "No, when you made this exact face. The one where you're completely oblivious to everything around you and awe-struck. It... hit me. Right in the gut." His voice gets warmer, becoming intimate. I gasped and looked at him. I was looking at a picture taken the very moment he realized he didn't just love me. He was in love with me. True, raw, healing, inspiring, encouraging, devoted love. I sit up, propping myself on his knee and looked at him.

His guard was completely down and he was looking at me like I was the most beautiful woman on Earth. Eyes wide in admiration with a smile so warm it could melt the winter snow outside. He feels just as deeply as me, and in fleeting moments I see it. This was one of those moments. I leaned in and kissed him with all the love I have in me. He returned the kiss tenfold. I was having a sunset moment again. Oblivious to my surroundings, and awe-struck.

After our love-filled kiss, my eye catches one more in his favorites. "Wait..." He tenses slightly. "Don't you dare," he says firmly, trying to take his phone from my hand with a sternness that tried to cover his true feeling... embarrassment. But it's too late, the photo is already on his screen.

The picture is of me sleeping- peaceful, vulnerable. My hair is spread out on his pillow, moonlight casting across my face through his tower window. The way he's captured me is... intimate. Too intimate. "That's... private." he says softly, trying to be cool and failing.

"This is the sweetest thing I've ever seen. You took a picture of me in my most vulnerable moment." His cheeks flush pink and he swipes the photo off the screen. "Shut up" He mutters, taking his phone back and tucking it away. "It's just a picture. Don't make a big deal out of it."

"I'm so lucky to have you." I say sincerely. Something genuine flashes across his face- the vulnerability is back for just a second. He hides it behind his usual stoic mask.

"Would you stop that? You're getting on my nerves." He says, but his hand finds mine and links them together, tightly. He looks up, eyes burning with adoration as he mumbles "Me too.." I lean in to kiss his cheek and he smiles even though he tried very hard not to. I push back the hair on his forehead with my free hand and kiss the crown of his head.

"Why did you want to keep that photo a secret?" I say quietly in his hair.

His eyes close for a moment, leaning into my touch as he tightens his grip on my hands. "Because it..." he pauses, struggling against himself once more, "It shows too much. Shows that I... care. Deeply. It shows..." His voice gets quiet. "The real me. Not some Slytherin prick." I nod in understanding. He took that photo in complete sensitivity, unguarded. It was just us. He was letting himself feel everything all at once and he could only do that by looking at me. He realized in that tower moment he didn't have to be anything but himself around me.

I didn't say anything, I just held him. An unspoken understanding between us. Our moment felt infinite. I looked at him, the window next to us showing the sun was setting. Golden hour. I looked at him in awe, he looked ethereal. He looked like he was glowing from the inside out. He met my gaze and let all his guards fall. He was having another tower moment. I was looking at the raw, uncut Draco Malfoy. He was letting me. I held his gaze, waiting for one of my favorite moments.

When the sun goes down and his ice blue eyes turn molten silver.

Masterlist

[v--143]

Hii, me again JSNDNS

I hope I don't bother you aaand I hope you're good

Could I ask for a lee!Hyunjin ler!everyone fic??

Thank you and stay healthy<3

ABSOLUTELY Lee Hyune is sooo heartwarming 🥰🥰 thank YOU!! <33 🥟 p.s. anon u are NEVER bothersome please feel free to send anything at all ever I hope you stay happy and healthy as well <3

*For the sake of this fic again, they all live together❤️‍🩹

!! Warnings: Drinking mentions !!

< Party Run >

[Lee! Hyunjin]

[Ler! Skz]

———————————————————————————

Idols needed their moments of rest and days off after long days of practice, especially the entirety of SKZ after Lee Know made them practice choreography for about 4 hours straight. However, some definitely had different ways of “resting up”.

It was a Friday night and almost all members were more than ready to get their rest. All except one.

Hyunjin thought it was the perfect night to go out and allow himself some freedom at the bar. Nothing wrong with that of course, everyone needed their time to have fun and enjoy what the night had to offer. The only issue was that Hyunjin, like everyone, had his occasional adrenaline spikes. Alcohol, however, made this 1000x worse.

“Oh my God, Minho, my back hurts… this is all your fault” Han complained as he arched his back off the bed.

“I can’t MOVE” Seungmin yelled from afar.

“Is everyone here dramatic or am I just better than all of you” Lee Know said.

Chan was busy doing a head count as he went to the kitchen before settling down in bed. It was almost midnight, but he knew there was one voice missing.

“Is Hyunjin still out? Was he not sore at all??” Chan questioned.

“He went out because he was sore. He won’t even remember we practiced at all after tonight” Han stated.

Chan kept checking his phone for any updates on Hyune. Not that he was scared for him, he knew how to take care of himself, but he did want to sleep assured that all the kids were home.. (and not deal with his insane energy shock upon arrival).

About 20 minutes passed and everyone was on their phones in the kitchen or bickering about who did the hip-hop step better (thanks Seungbin) until the door burst open and and a happy Hyunjin wobbled in.

“GUYS. Guys. You GUYS oh my God you won’t believe the effectiveness of a moscato. Two, actually. WOW.”

Han burst out laughing instantly as Hyunjin dramatically explained the effects of a moscato on the brain and body while smiling and doing the most random hand motions known to man.

“No because you don’t understand it’s like.. like I’m not even sore anymore. I feel fine. Great even”He walked over to where Lee Know was sat on the couch and put his hands on his hips while standing in front of him.

“Lee Know, whatever we did today, lightwork. Easy. Step it up headass.”

Everyone in the room burst out laughing loudly as Minho got up from his seat and grabbed Hyunjin’s shirt to pull him closer.

“LET me GOHO. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH” Hyunjin screamed out of pure drama despite Lee Know barely touching him. He began to claw at the air as his shirt was being tugged on until he slipped and his hands and knees hit the floor with a soft thud.

Han and Innie were doubled over laughing at his little 1am stunts. Despite the show he was putting on, everyone was still tired and wanted to get at least some form of rest in before the weekend.

“Alright, I think we should head to bed, it’s 1am already” Chan reminded the rolling Hyunjin on the floor. Hyunjin stood up and stretched his arms out in front of him while groaning loudly.

“Alright. Okay. But. What do you think about my HIP HOP STEP” and there he was doing the choreography to s class. Again.

“What do we do with him” a teary eyed IN asked the members.

“Can’t we just lock him in a room until this fit is over” Seungmin suggested.

“I can force him to practice for 4 more hours” Minho offered. Hyunjin jumped on his back mid sentence.

“We just need to tire him out, get all that energy out his system” Changbin reminded.

“Ah. We’re stupid, this is easy, follow me” Minho said as he shook Hyunjin off him just to turn around and throw him over his shoulder.

“AAAHHA HA” Hyunjin shout out loud. While the members were annoyed at his antics, and sleepy, and sore.. they couldn’t help but laugh and coo at his enjoyment of this.

“You guys remember that trend from around 2 years ago?” Seungmin mentioned.

“There have been, like, hundreds” IN said.

“I know that smartass I’m talking about the one where you, like, ‘show your true laugh’ when people put a lot of weight on your chest”

“Are you suggesting we crush him to death” Chan questioned.

“Mmm no.. no… BUT we could get him out of breath quickly that way” Seungmin said.

During this entire conversation, Hyunjin was dangling on Lino‘s shoulder making unintelligible noises as they spoke beside the dorms living room couch.

“Naha don’t do that I’ll throw up on youhou actually actually good idea let’s do it Seungmin stand in front of my mouth pleaseaha HAHAHAHA” Hyunjin threw his head back at the thought of letting his past few drinks come out onto Seungmin.

“Throw him down” Minnie sternly told Lino.

Quickly, Hyunjin was smacked onto the couch on his back as he yelped. The members quickly began stacking themselves on top of his chest and stomach while he tried to bring his knees to his chest in protest and kick them off.

“NAHAHA NOOO OFF OFFAH” Hyunjin was quickly running out of breath as the first 3, Seungmin, IN, and Felix, stacked on top of him.

“SOTOPopaha ahoaha ah aH-“ his laughter got deeper and more breathy as Seungmin began to playfully bounce his body up and down on Hyune’s chest. Felix was sitting comfortably on top of Minnie’s lap while IN was lying on Hyunjin’s stomach.

“STAAOHP” Hyune was smacking at everyone on top of him in hopes that they’d get off. He had no idea why he was laughing so hard. Other than the drinks in his system, the extra weight on top of him for some reason had him going hysterical. He covered his mouth with his hands as he screamed when IN suddenly squeezed his knee.

“QUIHIT IT” he kicked at the couch while grabbing a handful of Seungmin’s hair when he saw his hand going straight for his underarm.

“OW” Minnie yelped as he and Felix tumbled down from the couch.

“HEAHAHA AHA” Hyunjin found it hilarious, of course.

“This isn’t working. How many damn drinks did you have?!” Lee Know questioned.

“This many” Hyunjin said as he stretched his arms out and flipped him off with a gasp. He quickly covered his mouth with his hands afterwards and faced an innocent look.

“WHO did that. Oh my God. Did ANYONE see that?! Nooo Lee Knowwwwwww” he giggled to nobody in particular.

With IN still on top of Hyune’s stomach, he decided he’d scoot down to his lower calves, giving Lee Know the chance to sit with him back-to-back atop Hyune’s upper calves. The boys had had enough of his constant bickering and were frankly ready for him to calm down.. in their own way.

“Naaa naahaha what are you even dohoing” Hyune questioned as Seungmin and Felix, the two that he knocked down, firmly grasped his wrists and held them to the sides of his head. Changbin and Chan positioned themselves to either side of his torso, while Han sat criss-cross behind Hyune’s head setting it into his lap.

Hyunjin’s face was that of a lost puppy, widened eyes and his frantic head shaking from side to side.

“Uhahmam this is odd guys whatat” he tried to buck his hips and found himself almost immobile.

“You brought this upon yourself” Han said while lightly wiggling his fingers across both sides of his neck and ears, causing an adorable eye and nose scrunch followed by a squeal.

“Awwww”

“Get OHF of me” Hyunjin bucked.

“Maybe. If you would’ve. Not. Been. So. Annoying!” Chan said with pokes to his ribs between every few words. “So sorry Hyune.”

He tried to shuffle away from his fingers only to be found with Changbin doing the same exact thing on the other side. Lee Know began to squeeze right above his knees, lightly, earning a scream from the younger. Meanwhile Seungmin and Felix were readily scratching their fingers down his forearms as IN focused on placing rapid pokes to his feet when he least expected it.

“IN STOHOP DOING THAT”

“This is so funny” the maknae teased.

The light movements being done all over his body had him on the verge of going insane.

“OHOH MY GOHOHOD STOOOOOPPPAAAHH” Hyunjin screamed out as he roughly thrashed his head from side to side, his now wet hair blocking his eyesight making the experience 10x worse. He could really only buck his hips up and down since the rest of his body was basically immovable.

“STOP PLEHEASE its sohoHOHO BAD”

“Clearly not bad enough. That was a quick warm up” Lee Know said giggling to himself and the members, “this is for you flipping me off” and with that Lino grabbed both his sides, right under the ribs, and drilled his thumbs in while roughly vibrating his hands and making a loud ‘dudududuududu’ noise.

“NAAHAHAAH HAHA HAHA” Han’s jaw dropped from how ear-piercing Hyunjin’s scream-laughter was. He tried to bring his arms in on himself while bucking even more violently than before, he had everyone shocked at the sensitivity of his torso that they’d almost felt bad.

But they didn’t. So IN continued to prod at his feet while Chan and Changbin wiggled their fingers over the middle of his stomach, earning spasms and sudden twitches from the boy.

“STOP STOP STOHOHOhohop” his laughter began to get weaker as he threw his head back and tried to imagine what it felt like to not be dying.

“You really want us to stop?” Seungmin questioned, laughing.

“YES PLEHEHAAAASE! PLEASE.” Hyunjin bucked.

“Okay. 30 seconds left then, but don’t complain. You asked for it.” The others knew what this meant.

“WAIT WAIT IM TIHIHIRED NOW PLEASE DONT PLEHEASE PLEASE PLEASE YOU CANT GO HAHARDER IM SORRY IM SOHOHO SOHORRY-” were the last words before Seungmin and Felix drilled into his underarms, Lee Know wiggled at his inner thighs, Chan squeezed at his ribs and hips, Changbin teased at his stomach, IN went ham on his feet, and Han poked and prodded all over his extremely sensitive collarbone and lower neck.

After constant bucking, ear piercing screams, tears down to his neck, heavy breathing, unlaced threats, and kicking for 20 seconds… Hyunjins laughter went completely silent.

The other members were in hysterics. Han was pointing at Hyunjin’s legs and clapping, now unmoving as they poked at his stomach.

“We broke him” he said out of breath.

Seungmin grabbed his arm and threw it around in the air a bit while Hyunjin just kept giggling into the void.

“HAHA, this is great” Seungmin commented.

Chan rubbed comforting circles on his side as Hyunjin curled into his arm bringing his knees and arms to his chest. Changbin rubbed his back as the others began to yawn through their, still, hysterical laughter.

“You’re SO loud!” Changbin said.

“He’s too dramatic for his own good~” Felix cooed as he rubbed at Hyune’s ear, making his shoulders scrunch.

“Don’t touch mehe”

“dOnT tOuCh MeHe” Lino said dramatically as he grabbed his waist.

“NAAHA NO! NOOO” Hyunjin immediately kicked and flailed his arms like a madman despite Lino not actually doing anything, eventually causing him to fall flat on the floor.

Everyone was exhausted, both from laughing and soreness now, ready to go to bed. Hyunjin couldn’t muster up the courage to trust anybody to carry or take him to bed somehow without being attacked, so he simply laid on the floor next to the couch for a while. He eventually got up while rubbing at his sides and arms waddling over to his bed when he noticed a sleepy Seungmin in it.

“Oh come ON get out?!” Hyunjin said, annoyed.

“I see someone’s finally ready for bed.”

“Are you getting out”

“No”

“Why”

“Because”

Too tired to really care, Hyune swung his legs onto the bed and laid right next to Seungmin, their bodies close.. and Seungmins hand even closer to his waist.

“Don’t even think about it. I’ll wake everyone up and you know it.” Hyune said as he grabbed at Minnie’s hand.

“I know, I’m just resting it here. Goodnight.”

He hated him. But not really. That nights sleep was actually one of the best he’d gotten in weeks. Maybe he shouldn’t have yelled stop so many times…

———————————————————————————

HYUNEBUUUUUUNNNNNNN this was fun to write sorry it took longer than the first!! I hope it’s good 🥹 please lmk🩷🩷!!!

[dollsonmain]

I've forgotten how to sleep and startled myself when I looked in the mirror on my way to bed last night. The eye wells in my skull were very, very visible. Slightly less bad this morning.

So sleep hasn't happened due to both anxiety/stress and the AC having been broken for a while. AC was out for about a week and once it was fixed, I was too stressed about the absences thing at school to sleep the first night, and then too stressed last night because Son broke his school laptop yesterday and we have to tell That Guy today, AND That Guy had gone out partying with friends after work which means he drives home like that in the middle of the night and I always worry he's not going to make it. I can't sleep until I hear the garage door open. If he crashes, with the way he has our finances set up, Son and I are effectively homeless immediately. Part of why I am trying to work. Him not coming home until 1am also prolonged the anticipatory anxiety of having to wait to tell him the problem and get over the aftermath.

And then I woke up at 3am like always and couldn't get back to sleep.

Anyway.

Work stuff ish again

I will not complain about being expected to work 6 hours a day because that's less than a "normal" job anyway, but really at that point I'd rather work a full 8 and get benefits.

I very much think it should be illegal to schedule people juuuuuust under the cut off for benefits to be required by labor law. You should have to either schedule people 40 hours or 20 hours, no in between, IMO. Scheduling someone exactly 20 hours gives them plenty of time to go work SOMEWHERE ELSE for the other 20 hours without having to worry about being scheduled to work 60+ hours a week because both employers are cheapskates that will work you 30 hours.

I also need to completely change my daily routines AGAIN to get to work on time.

My current-new routine is:

wake up at 3:30 and get my morning coffee

sit around and wait for That Guy to leave for work which is usually 4-4:30

Son gets up and we have the morning together

Son leaves for school at 6:50

I don't get hungry until somewhere between 7 and 9 and will have breakfast then

depending on how exhausted I am I will or will not do chores between 5 and 10

leave to walk to work at 10:20

get to work at 10:40/10:45

work 11-3

That Guy picks me up on his way home from work, though I did have to walk home yesterday

do chores

dinner between 4-5 or so

vegetable time

Now, I'm going to have to skip my morning coffee because it makes me poop and I don't want to be pooping while I'm also the only cashier at work.

So it's going to be like....

wake up around 3 and shower OR shower in the evenings and deal with being gross from night-sweats at work so wake up at 3:30, I do prefer to show up to work nice and clean but it is a gas station...

force feed myself some sort of solid food while waiting for That Guy to leave for work around 4-4:30

make sure the boy gets up no later than 5

leave to walk to work at 5:20

get to work at 5:40-5:45

work 6-whenever (she hasn't decided when????)

leave work to walk to home whenever that happens to be and I'd rather it WASN'T noon because it's going to be stupid hot, then, but stop on the store's "porch" to put on sunscreen real fast... which means I need an opaque travel size bottle for sunscreen, and eat something so I don't pass out on the way home (yesterday I took a small bread roll and some jerky and ate that and drank a second V8 Energy while walking)

get home around 1 if I left at noon because the walk home is slower than the walk to work

eat a real lunch? finally have my poopin coffee?

chores

Son and That Guy get home at 3

profit???

I'm going to have to prep and take multiple sugar drinks so my blood sugar doesn't bottom out while at work. Right now I've been taking one bottle of water with a Real Lemon lemonade drink stick mixed in and I forget to drink it but it's there so I can slam it before leaving. I'll need to also take a meal replacement shake got sugar, salt, and other nutrients, I think, and an extra water.

Manager keeps trying to get me to buy something at work before my shift starts and I'm like no thanks those are MY monies, now, you're not getting them back on your overpriced bottled water.

Today I need to do laundry, deal with the fallout of telling That Guy that Son broke his school laptop, go to Kohl's and see if I can find some New Balance cross trainers to wear to work since I will be doing walking, standing, and lifting and I think cross-trainers would be the best option AND already know NB is the brand they primarily carry, need to find a hi-vis vest or couple of belts because I'll be walking to work in the dark, and That Guy said he'd take me to dinner today for leaving me to have to walk home from work Yesterday but what does that matter? That's going to be every day from now on.

A few more paychecks and I'll look for a scooter again. Or something. Still kind of like the idea of getting a cargo trike, ngl. Would be harder to steal than a bike anyway.

I don't know what I'm going to do in the winter.

-

Running a salary and income tax calculator and factoring in about $3k in short-term hobby income, even putting that no tax is withheld, it looks like I'd expect a tax return of $3k? Because there's about $3k in tax credits??? Whatever. I'll figure it out when it's closer to the right time.

[gypsypendragon]

DND session rolled till 1am today.

I almost died. Got resurrected by my homunculus. Smashed the (current area's) main bad guy's face in with my wrench.

(I am a Battle Artificer, homebrew and a lot of custom shenanigans cause my DM is a fucking boss)

Our warlock killed two mini bads in one turn, and delt 63 damage in one turn to a huge monster bad.

All during the same combat encounter.

Was quite fun. Very fun. Many motivations to doodle now.

[pbandjesse]

It is very hot right now! It is mid morning and we are in a waiting pattern because we were in our way to a boat tour and got in a car accident. Our van and a motorcycle collided. The biker is scraped up but admits it was his fault. The police are here and we are waiting to see if we need a new vehicle . So I thought I would start writing this while we figured out what comes next.

After I finished my paper last night there was more dancing. It was decided we would leave at midnight. And while there was a couple extra songs we did all gather and get out of there. Traffic is very bad and we almost got stuck in a very bad puddle. But our driver Sandy is great and while it took forever, we did get back to the hotel in one piece.

We rolled up to our room at 1am. We would gr to see a gecko outside our door and I was super excited about that. I had caught a frog at the party last night and that was exciting. But the gecko was to fast for a picture.

I would wash my hair and felt a lot better after that. Falling asleep didn't come as quick as I would like. I texted with Jess for a little. And eventually went to sleep.

We had to get up at 530 but I was up at 430 again. Annoying. I wasn't in as a good of a head space as yesterday but I would feel better soon.

I got dressed and as we were figuring out what was up we got a message that the plan for the morning has changed. And we would be going on a boat tour to the origin point of the Nile. Incredible. So we were leaving a little later and would get to eat breakfast.

Me and James would chill on the couch for a bit. And then at 630 we headed to breakfast.

We were the first ones there. But once one of the girls, Stephanie, came down we all went in to eat. And slowly the rest of the crew for the day would trickle in.

Breakfast was nice. I would wrap up a donut to take with me for a snack later. Which was a very good idea. Paul joined us at our table and I enjoyed talking to him about the trip. I hope he knows how appreciative I am to be included.

At 730 we would all load up on the bus. There are 18 of us today. A good mix of people. And we were off.

We are driving for about two hours. And I don't know if I have the words to describe what I have seen today. The variety of houses and fruits and animals. Cows and goats. Dogs. Chickens. But the people was what really got me.

There are so many motorcycles, called boda boda, more then I've ever seen in my life. And the density of the markets. My neck started to hurt from looking out the window but I couldn't stop. I needed to see them. I needed to see everything.

I feel very emotional about everything honestly. I have been smiling at as many people as possible. And they are smiling back. Some waving. They often seem surprised to see me. I know white people are a novelty here. On our whole journey today I have seen two older white men and that's it. So I am waving and smiling. I got a couple flirty blown kisses and winks. But I am just so focused on making connections, even if they are brief. I told James that I hope they get to where they are going and tell their friend they saw a white lady. They call us "mungzo" (unsure about that spelling). It for sure it interesting to be the other.

The ride was fascinating. Hard to capture in pictures but I was enjoying the whole thing. I was about to go text Jess and update about how much I was enjoying it when all of a sudden Sandy our driver slammed on the breaks and I hit my knees on the seat in front of me. We have collided with a motorcycle. I saw his fly off his bike and stumble away so no one else ran him over. It was frightening. And there were so many people around. Some yelling and telling eachother what they saw. The traffic police would come quickly and they went to check on the biker.

We were in the side of the very busy street for a while. When all of a sudden the tour guide we were there for got on our bus. He has seen the accident! What a weird coincidence.

Everyone would be okay but the bike was broken and our bus broke it's exhaust (which is in the front). So we were in a holding pattern.

We drove over to the police station. And someone would come to fix the exhaust.

We would get out of the bus to cool off. It got very hot in there. But I was enjoying looking around. Even saw some goats.

We were about an hour and a half off schedule but the bus was fixed and we could get on our way.

We still had about 2 hours to where we were going. And I loved seeing more nature and people. But eventually some of the girls were desperate to used the bathroom. So our driver and tour guide would figure out a shell gas station that had bathrooms we could use.

This was the most squaty of squaty potties. This was mostly just a hole in the ground. But we were in this together.

And honestly for me it was just like. Camping. Nature peeing. My only issue was I am wearing a jumpsuit but it was fine and I survived.

While we were standing outside waiting for all the girls to be done, some children were milling around giggling and smiling at us. They were fascinated by me. I would engage with them and they did speak English. I asked all about them. They were 2, 4, 5, 6, and 9. I could not even attempt to spell their names. But they sounded beautiful. I got down on their level to talk to them. And eventually the 2 year old reached for me and we held hands and the older girls wanted to stroke my arm to see if it felt like the skin. They had never spoken to a white person, I'm not even sure they have send one in real life. The oldest girl liked my hair. They told me they liked to play ball and they liked to draw. They had beautiful smiles. I am so glad we got to meet. They also wanted to know the names of my children and were surprised to learn I didn't have any yet. Apparently 10 children is the most common number for a family to have. I explained that where I'm from people don't have them very early or as often. They didn't seem to believe me.

We said goodbye and there was lots of smiles and waves. We continued our journey. Back on the bus. And it wasn't to much longer until we stopped in Jinja to pick up our second tour guide. Our first one, Charles, would bring on Bob. And they are both so nice. And so knowledgeable.

Bob would give us more information about Jinja. Which is the food basket and powerhouse of Uganda. And soon we would arrive at the Nile!

I wish I had better words to describe it but everything is just outrageously beautiful. And pictures just don't do it justice. It's gorgeous here. And being at the Nile was so powerful.

We got a little talk to start from Bob and Nathan, another guide. About how there used to be falls but now because of the dam that creates so much of the power to the country, the falls are no more. And the government is redeveloping this area. So much of the country seems to be in redevelopment and that's just really neat.

Something I have noticed and I really respect is the obvious care and pride everyone here has for their work. From the people sweeping the dirt roads to the people cleaning the steps and lawn furniture to all the food sellers that run up to your window. Everyone seems so confident and sure of themselves and what matters. It feels like a community mindset rather then an individualist one. And while the poverty is there, the people are rich in so many other ways.

After Nathan gave us his history talk he walked us to the water front. We had to go down a very very steep hill. And then when we got to the bottom we had to walk across planks. Because the restaurant at the dock was flooded. Like it was in a foot of water. It was fascinating. Also a little a scary. But the staff helped us across and everything was good.

The boat is a double decker. And me and James got seats up to the front. And I have been having the very very best time.

We saw monitor lizards and so many birds and tilapia jumping from the water and we even saw monkeys! I was so close to crying I was so happy. They were 3 babies and their mom and they were jumping around and helping groom and the one little baby beared it's teeth at us trying to be scary. It was amazing.

We continued to ride sodund. Watching the fishermen and the water. The wind is very strong and I am really glad I brought a hair tie.

After an hour we went back to the dock and they brought food on board. We had ordered ahead of time and it was all chicken and burgers but they had a cheese sandwich so I was expecting just slices on white bread but it was actually a really beautiful grilled cheese with some local tomatoes and red onions and some kind of soft cheese spread. It was great.

The food made me so tired though. And I was kind of just hoping we would be done soon but we would have more to see.

James was helping everyone open their glass bottles of soda and beer. Being so helpful and so handsome. I love them so much and I'm so glad we get to experience this together.

The boat would slowly start moving again and we headed to the sign and small building that marked where the river and the lake meet. There was a small building that was half flooded in the water. We would stop and me, James, Stephanie, Gabe, Sydney, and her boyfriend Devin would be the only brave ones to get off the boat to go inside. Where we were treated by actual water under our feet and so many souvenirs.

Me and my James would get a few. For friends and family. It was fun. And the people who worked there were so nice. The one man sold us a sculpture he carved from a Jacaranda tree. I handed them my phone to type that because there was no way I was going to get that right. They let us pay in us currency which works out for them because they can upcharge us but we didn't mind. It was still very cheap and if it helps them it's a good thing.

They wanted to take pictures with me and James too. I think the novelty of us being white again. But they were super nice and we would climb back on board to join everyone else.

The last leg of the tour was nice but I think we were all ready to go. The DJ had music going it we were all so tired. Half of us would doze off. But seeing the two open air prisons off the lake was interesting. And some of the fishermen started dancing to our music which was pretty funny.

It was getting later and later though. When we agreed to come in this trip we sort of thought we were going to be back in the mid afternoon. But after it took 5 hours to get to it we were all like. Oh. Yeah this is going to be a lot. And then our tour guide guaranteed that we would have a two hour tour max. But we were almost 4 hours in. We had started the day at 730 and it was now almost 4pm. And I checked and even if traffic was perfect we were 3 hours form the hotel. Goodness.

I had a nice conversation with Stephanie. And she told me that if I didn't feel up for the party tonight that no one would be upset with me. The fomo is real but I am just. So tired. And we have another early morning tomorrow. I might just need to decompress.

We would get back to the dock and got off. A bunch of our party would wait to sue the bathroom but me and James headed up the steep steps. Which winded me pretty badly. There were also a lot of women and children trying to sell us more souvenirs and if I wasn't so tired I would have considered some of them more. But having to think about conversation rates stressed me out. So we declined. I did feel terrible when one of the girls fell down and hurt her knee but her for dds would help her.

When we got to the top of the hill I would catch my breath and then would wander s little and found some amazing little mushrooms. And that just really made me happy.

Once everyone was up the hill we wandered to the bus. I gave Bob the tour guide a hug and said thank you. The kids were trying to sell us bananas through the windows but we declined. And we were off on our journey.

I just woke up from a pretty long nap laying my head against my window. James says for a bit they were the only ones awake. We are in a new place. About an hour and a half to go.

I was wrong when I said an hour and a half. We just pulled up around 845. So closer to 2 hours from my last paragraph. I am really excited to be back. We just ordered room service. I took an excellent shower. James is getting some fresh air on the balcony. The rides were tough today, being confined, but I can honestly day today was one of the best days I have ever had. Like this was such an incredible experience. If I ruminate on it for to long my eyes start to tear up.

After I woke up from my little car nap I rewound my podcast and was able to listen to the entirety of the first season of Limetown. My favorite piece of media I have ever experienced. And the last episode made me cry like it always does. And then we were pulling up to the hotel. It was a journey for sure. But we got to see more incredible sites and people. I was hurting and so so so tired of being in the bus. But I wouldn't trade any of today. Today was incredible. It makes me feel lucky to be alive and for every moment that lead me here.

I am not sure how tomorrow will shake out. I hope we go see animals. I also really really hope that the commute doesn't take the entire day. I really feel like I have experienced Africa. And I could absolutely go for more. But I am also good just chilling and going with whatever flow happens.

I am going to rest now and eat and try to get more then 3 hours of sleep. I love you all. Thank you for following me on this adventure and sort of disjointed way of documenting this journey!!

[pawprints-upthehill]

Thursday 15th June --

Fancied trying to do some writing today, so below the cut is my first, actually finished attempt at writing something for the myct fandom. It's a little Redscape/Mumscarian scene from an AU I've had buzzing around in my brain for a while.

Basic premise - Boatem, sailing the world for treasure. That's it. But of course I had to make it shippy. I might write the whole thing at some point but who knows.

Also this is very very unedited. Its past 1am for me and I am so tired so if this is horrific apologies!

Mumbo's voice broke the tranquil quiet of the night at sea, startling Scar into a more upright position in his seat with a grunt. 

Boatem Pirates AU - Nighttime Talks

"Scar?"

"Ah- Mumbo! You surprised me," he turned to face his mustached companion, dusting himself off as if he hadn't just been caught nearly asleep at the wheel. "What brings you out here in the middle of the night?" He tilted his head, adding in a teasing tone, "I'm sure Grian is missing you."

"I couldn't sleep," seemingly feeling like that was a good enough answer, rather than explain himself at all Mumbo instead raised an eyebrow at him, "But it looks like you should. When was the last time you slept?"

"I'm fine," Scar snorted, waving a hand dismissively, "Just daydreaming is all. I'll get some sleep when Impulse takes over at dawn."

Mumbo hummed, a noise somewhere between concern and acknowledgement. "Sure. If you say so. Now budge up a bit, its freezing out here."

Scar chuckled but obliged, scooting along in his seat so Mumbo could sit with him. It wasn't exactly comfortable but Scar was never one to miss out on an opportunity.

"Well why didn't you say so?" as soon as Mumbo was settled he pulled his arms out of his overcoat and tossed it over both their shoulders, "There you go, much better."

The benefit was twofold. Not only did it mean Mumbo was closer to him (as if shoulder to shoulder hadn't been enough) but the way Mumbo blushed at the gesture was adorable. 

"Oh, cheers," Mumbo settled then turned and gave him what was probably supposed to be a serious look. The effect was utterly ruined by the fact the tip of his ears were slowly turning the same lovely pink as his face. "Now, Captain Goodtimes."

"Uh oh, the full title, I feel like I'm in trouble."

"Pft, no. Your ship mate," Mumbo rolled his eyes good naturedly, "You wanna sleep sail us into some rocks that's your business."

"Hey! I would never be so careless," Scar splutterred. He probably would (he wasn't known primarily for his clumsiness for no reason), but not while he had other lives on board to worry about.

"Sure," he wasn't sure he particularly liked the disbelieving note in Mumbo's voice there but he continued before he could comment, "What I was gonna say was, I think I've known you long enough now to know when something's bothering you. You've been distracted and spacey all day." His voice softened, and quite out of nowhere, Mumbo raised his hand to gently brush Scar's hair back out of his eyes. "I wanna help, if I can. What were you thinking about?"

The affection, so casually given, was still startling to him. Not that he'd lacked for a kind touch in his life just…this was different. Mumbo wasn't looking out for the abandoned kid he'd found in the woods, or maneuvering him to better suit his pleasure, he was just concerned for him. 

Again he couldn't help but wonder what life would be like if he'd known Mumbo and Grian before. Before they were established and clearly happy with just each other. Would…he liked to think maybe…just maybe, there could have been room in their lives for him too.

It was his nature he supposed. Wanting what he couldn't have and chasing it anyway. 

Unwilling to ruin the moment, he settled for a half truth. "I was thinking about the moon," Scar said softly, taking his eyes of Mumbo, despite his reluctance, to look back up at the sky. 

"The moon?" Mumbo's voice sounded slightly dumbfounded and Scar grinned, delighted to have caught him by surprise.

"Yup. I was thinking about how much of my life is controlled by the moon. I mean, think about it, if anything happens to it - if it moves further away or gets closer somehow - it'd throw all the tides out of balance. Who knows where we'd end up. It's kinda crazy to think about." Scar felt his smile falter. Maybe it was because he was so tired, or maybe he just wanted to keep that warm, closeness feeling in his chest for a little longer but whatever the reason he felt a sudden need to continue. "I had a dream once, a while ago, where the moon got really big. Or it crashed. Something like that. Anyway, the moon was gone. And with no tides, I couldn't sail. I was stuck on my island, never seeing the world, never meeting-...never meeting any of the friends I've made."

He lowered his eyes to the horizon, doing his best not to fidget. Despite how strong the impulse to share a little more of himself had been he still didn't think he could look Mumbo in the eye. That felt…a little too vulnerable, a little too real. "That probably doesn't make any sense," he finished softly, hoping he didn't sound as uncertain as he felt. 

There was a contemplative pause. "It does." Scar blinked, surprised and stupidly hopeful as he finally turned to look at Mumbo. His dark eyes were shockingly warm, his gaze softer than he'd ever seen it. "Grian did that for me. Got me out of the home I was trapped in and showed me the world. I think about that a lot too. I think it's only natural to wonder what life would be like if things were different." 

They fell into a companionable silence for a little while, each taking in the other's words. "I like to think we'd have found each other somehow," Mumbo added finally, quietly.

"You and Grian?" Scar let out a breathy laugh, "I don't think even the universe had a choice there. Pretty sure Grian would find you no matter what corner of the cosmos any Gods tried to hide you in."

"You're not wrong," Mumbo chuckled affectionately, "But I meant us, actually. Me, you and Grian. Cause he'd be like that about you to ya know." 

"You think so?" The hope that swelled in His chest was dangerous. 

"Of course, once Grian decides you're his best friend there's no backing out," Mumbo grinned, "Pearl and Impulse too, no one escapes the pesky bird once he's decided your his."

His? Was Mumbo trying to kill him? Gods above did he like the sound of it though…

"Only a truly crazy soul would try," he agreed solemnly, determinedly ignoring the heat he could feel rising on his face. "Not me. Never."

"Good," Mumbo looked satisfied and for a.second he thought he'd leave it at that, get up and head back to bed. Instead though, Mumbo scooted a little closer, leaning against him just a little.

"Still cold?" Scar asked, raising an eyebrow as his mustached friend. 

"Nah, I'm good where I am." Apparently comfortable now they were essentially all but cuddled under Scar's overcoat, he found his gaze again. "You?"

"Me?" Scar gave Mumbo his best lopsided grin, "Absolutely a-may-zin."

[irreverentdreams]

1am thoughts

i am tired. my room mate is insufferable the air in my environment is suffocating I want to sit in the trees and make my art. I'd like the sickly butterflies in my stomach to settle... i am overcome with anxiety today. i can't wait until she's gone & the air is breathable again. it's 1am- and I'm just waiting for the passive aggressive text telling me the click clacking of my keys on the keyboard is too loud and could I please keep it down. ... my eyes couldn't roll farther into the back of my head. I am overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it.

[araminthe]

Monday, 12th of August / Lundi 11 août

────୨ৎ────

Sleep / Sommeil : 1am to 9.30am (makes it 8h30 of sleep)

I did go to sleep at midnight, but I guess since I was not used to sleeping early, I had a hard time falling asleep

Health / Santé : Ate pretty healthy until I had the spring rolls I made, and then a burger with fries.

But it's alright since it's all about moderation.

I also stretched in the morning and walked a lot through the day; 9500 steps (the weather was so hot)

Study / Études : just 20 minutes before going to sleep

My day / Ma journée : Woke up definitely earlier than usual, (I'm used to waking up at 12, today I woke up a 9am, got out of bed at 10).

I then chilled for some time, at lunchtime, I decided to make my chicken spring rolls and they were delicious, everyone loved them. What's more surprising is that the recipe is literally so easy. I can share it if y'all want.

Plus, I had bought a sauce for spring rolls that was sweet and just a bit spicy, the taste was just perfect 🤌.

Since, I don't go to Asian restaurants, I decided to do it myself I guess.

Then, at 4pm I took my 4 siblings to eat some fastfood since they wanted to. It was fun, just us without the parents, my small siblings definitely enjoyed.

I also took advantage of the fact that the parents weren't there to spoil them a bit more, so we got to a dollar store that was right in front of the fast-food place and I bought them candy's and some small toys.

It was fun.

We then walked home, and my cousin calls to propose that I come to the park in her neighborhood with my siblings, so we can spend some time together while the children play.

So I once again go out. To go there, I walk again (because I mostly spend my time at home in front of my desk, I wanted to use that day to move).

It's a 15 minute walk, very not long.

I like that about my city, (Nantes, in France), you can walk almost everywhere. If you don't have a car, things are easily accessible with the excellent transportation, and you can walk as much as you want)

So we go, the children play, me and my cousin talk over some spring rolls because I had decided to bring some for her and her family. (She liked it, I'm glad !!! 😊)

And an hour ½ later, we have to walk home again before it becomes dark outside.

I eat dinner, and will try to sleep on time today again.

Time passed really fast and it's already 11pm, I sometimes wonder why does time pass so fast. It makes me feel like I am not productive enough.

Anyway, today again I will try to sleep at midnight and have AT LEAST 10minutes of revision for my license exam.

Bye, bonne nuit mes choux.

Je vous souhaite le meilleur <3

[zacharyja]

Thursday, June 6, 2024

Purgatory Day

Today began at about 9:30am, where I then finished packing my suitcases and getting ready to check out of my hotel. Once 11 rolled around I dropped my keys off and got an uber to my next hotel, so that I could drop my bags off while I waited until 3pm to check in. After arriving and dropping off my luggage I didn’t really have anywhere to go or anything to do until 3 so I decided to walk around the Kawaramachi area for a while.

I went to a bunch of stores and did some window shopping, not really looking to buy anything as I didn’t feel like having to carry it around with me for multiple hours while waiting for the hotel check in time. I then decided to grab some lunch, and felt like having some Katsu Curry so I popped into the nearest Coco Ichibanya and got a table for one. I ordered my usual meal of Chicken Katsu curry with naan, and demolished it as per usual.

After eating I hung out at the restaurant for a bit before deciding to head over to Round One, which was only about a 5 minute walk from the restaurant. While here I decided to play some Maimai and spent the next 45 minutes doing just that. I kind of want to buy a cheap pair of gloves for Maimai but I also don’t really want to look like a tryhard sweaty Maimai player. I also went from 3708 to 5000 today, big money moves!

Once I felt I had my fair share of rhythm games, I decided to walk around the area a bit more and kill some time. I wound up at a cat cafe/puppy store. All of the dogs were insanely adorable and I wish I could take them all home with me. I have no idea how they always have such cute puppies but I guess there is a big market for that here.

After more dilly dallying I was finally able to check into my hotel, which is located in a really good spot nearby to Kawaramachi and is sort of a downtown type of area. The hotel itself is also really nice, and I am impressed with the view of the city that we have.

After a while my sister finally arrived at the hotel and it was great to see her after many months. She was hungry after traveling and we decided to hit up a Matsuya nearby while my laundry finished drying (it took 3 hours thank you Japan for the worst dryers in existence). The food was pretty good as always, no complaints from me.

After this we walked around the area a bit before heading over to Family Mart to make a snack run, the haul was pretty phenomenal as you can see from my snack spread.

After this we attempted to go to Round One, which I was under the impression was 24 hours or at least open past 1am but I was apparently wrong, even though it says open until 6am on google. So since we couldn’t do this we decided to find some low key place to hangout for a bit, and settled on Bar Back Alley, which was pretty empty and nice to just talk for a while. They were out of ¥500 beef jerky so the guy offered me “Junkie Potatoes” for a ¥450 discount which was nice of him.

The food was decent but I was mostly in the mood for beef jerky, oh well another time i’m sure - c’est la vie!

[lauvra]

Lost/Found Notes Pt. 10 17/9/21 The most fearful of thoughts erupt, the ones you dismiss daily. That you're actually as vile as you've always suspected, that disease will feed on all your bad habits and that you're altogether undisciplined, unskilled with nothing to offer anyone. You'll only ever be wanted by conmen and loved by none. You will not bear children, or worse it's all you'll do. Nothing can change your fate which is to fade away, painfully, slowly with no dignity. You'll age terribly and it'll be all your fault. Every person who ever harmed you still laughs behind your back and even when you're desperate for it, you'll never give or receive love again. WELL SO WHAT. 21/9/21 [The poem 'Fearful Thing', by Judah Halevi] 24/9/21 [Quote] "If you do not want to write, at least spit on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, and send it to me. You are not taking any notice of me at all. God forgive you - all I wanted was a few words from you." - Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky 26/9/21 [Internally screaming that I ?? got what I wanted and responded viciously.] My ex followed me on instagram at 1am lol555999P [sic]

7/10/21 My back feels like something magnetised to me. Or like I'm wearing a jetpack with no fuel. I need a fusion core. 16/10/21 Today I laid staring at the ceiling for hours. I slept that horrible daytime kind and woke only when somebody tried to push me down some stairs. They were coming up, I was on my way down. They struck me hard on my right shoulder and said sorry, but I responded "Are ya?" sarcastically, then kept on without looking back, then felt another impact as they launched a more deliberate blow to wrestle me down the flight. I felt simultaneously stuck and violent, and woke in the same state. 16/10/21 Measure the weight and length of my words, someday say my heartbreak had worth. 26/10/21 When he leant in, enclosing, and stroking my hair, I sat there unwilling, rigid and tense. He asked how nice it was to be touched by another human being, but I couldn't look and didn't bother to speak. 29/10/21 [Graceless Host] 23/11/21 I know I speak with a plank in my eye. 3/12/21 [Quote] "I have found no other justification for my life except this effort to create. For almost all the rest, I have failed. And if this doesn't justify me, my life won't deserve absolution." - Albert Camus 17/1/22 Tomorrow call bank or die. 18/1/22 You were the carborundum stone, hm, doesn't roll off the tongue. 22/1/22 [CLIPBOARD] "Would you like to stay in touch via WhatsApp or whatever? My number is [redacted]." 7/2/22 There's something I'm not sure you've noticed, but it means a lot to me. There's no door between us and never has been. There's no polite or guiding goodbye, goodnight or good morning. In medias Res. A continuum. I'm afraid these words will conjure the absent barrier. There's a respect for one another's silence and appears no latch, lock or expectation? Boundaries unbound. I like that shit 19/2/22 Under the shadow of doubt, I relearned how to speak. In weathering misunderstandings, grew a comfort for their inevitability. An attraction to secrecy and respect for code has grown. I am dancing with the universe, we are both blindfolded. [Redacted] told me recently that keeping secrets today is a revolutionary act. I thought to communicate indirectly was a gift I did not possess, but rather I possessed an intolerance to perspectives against mine I'd intended to communicate. I intended for others to understand my writing as if they were my replica. The labyrinth is one of my own construction. Those who already claim to observe, yet form beliefs are already trapped inside with their opponents. The confusion. I am not, after all, a bystander in the destruction of what I love. 19/2/22 I'm sitting in mums Jaguar, she's driving the back winding roads with wide views of green dome-like mounds of mountain, I wish I could share it. I'm in the back seat, her passenger just said if someone told her years ago, she'd be living in a million dollar home, she'd never believe it. "That's for rich people!" My own mother says maybe they'll do something with the property, attach a second home to lease. I chime in where normally I'm silent, and tell her not to sell her soul, though. I say what they do affects the community, too. Her passenger says "Once they allow buildings higher than sixteen stories, I'm out," she says people get greedy, don't appreciate what they've got even when it's rare. I remember all our apartments, moving further and higher out of town. Now she drives the Jag, which she calls "The Jag", because her partner bought it very cheap and fixed it up. When she drives it, sometimes I wonder whether people think she's a wanker. Sometimes I wonder whether she's becoming a wanker.