#I am nothing. I'm literally insane.
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fragglerockopinions · 8 months ago
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You're supposed to ask for help. If you don't ask for help you're never going to get help and you will be condemned for being useless and taking no actions to help yourself. If you ask for help. no one is going to help you. you are not allowed to wish that anyone help you or expect anyone to help you or you are a selfish piece of shit. you are not allowed to wish things were better. You're not allowed to ask for help actually because you are selfish and you didn't think about how others might feel being put in the vulnerable and intimate position of being asked for help. your friends did not consent to being asked for help or explained why you've been having problems and you should have thought about the way they felt before you forced them to read your texts asking them for help. I'm not even joking I should just kill myself because there is actually genuinely no such thing as getting better or getting help or being a good friend ?
#I swear to god I could text you assholes 'i just got stabbed can you please call an ambulance' and you would reply three days later ':/'#you fucking cunts. what is wrong with you#Didn't anyone ever teach your stupid ass how to be a good fucking friend#Stupid stupid stupid stupid#'you can't expect everyone to just drop everything and help you :/'#Look at me. look in my fucking eyes. what is wrong with you#I'm so upset I'm so desperate for any amount of anything please help me what's wrong with me#Why was I specifically built to crave what is apparently not even a thing ?? People aren't friends anymore ?? Like societally ????????#'It's so hard to wake up in the morning I wish someone could knock on my door to wake me up for finals so I don't miss them :('#'awww you want them to bring you food and do your test for you and drive you there and change your diaper too?'#i want to take a long swim in acid. why live. what is the fucking point.#I am nothing. I'm literally insane.#I think I actually genuinely have schizophrenia and none of this is real I've been engaging the delusions a lot because I have no one else#Have I for my entire life just invented friendships that didn't exist. are any of you real. am I even alive.#I'm so angry I just want to be talked to#At the bare minimum. you don't have to love me or like me or help me or care but just talk to me#I'm so angry I feel like a cuckoo chick. born a huge monster who takes and hurts and kills before it can even open its eyes#it didn't know it's a monster it just acts based on instincts.#it was not supposed to be here and it killed the innocent and actual good children in cold blood.#that's what my twin brother was in the womb. i killed him. i was a mistake and a disease and he wasn't strong enough to stop me.
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demaparbat-hp · 3 months ago
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Oh, Lala...
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vos-videmus · 5 months ago
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snake in the garden
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gillianthecat · 1 year ago
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King feeling so overwhelmed by his love for Uea that he has to clutch his comforter to his chest and curl into a ball is really doing something to me.
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That sniff kiss did him in, huh.
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talkorsomething · 6 months ago
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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queer-reader-07 · 2 months ago
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professors who don't grade my shit in any semblance of a timely matter are the bane of my existence
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willowser · 1 year ago
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willow have u ever seen the movie ‘13 going on 30?’ bc i just rewatched it last night and it gave me nerd bakugou brainrot 😩😩
like he’s your neighbor and he’s in love with you but you’re just…. your head is in the clouds and you can’t see what’s right in front of you 🥺 and something brings you crashing down, and you wish yourself into an alternate future, where all the hard, embarrassing teenage years are far behind you and you got everything you thought you wanted.
but— in those skipped-over years, you’d left katsuki behind 🥺 traded movie nights and dnd campaigns with him for parties with the in crowd. it’s funny— the more people see you,, the less you he sees. he barely recognizes you, but it doesn’t stop him from watching from afar. catching glimpses of you through the windows still makes his heart race; watching you get picked up for a date by the goddamn golden boy makes it ache.
going to college is a relief. he’s almost managed to forget about you (except for the occasional comment from his mother that sting less and less as the years pass) until you show up at his doorstep, confused and panicked and calling him by the kiddie nickname he hasn’t heard since you stopped speaking in seventh grade. he has half the mind to take you to the hospital, get you checked for a concussion or retrograde amnesia.
meanwhile… you’re realizing all the things you’ve been longing for aren’t right for you. and chasing after them will condemn you to a life of being lonely and disingenuous. you don’t need to be liked by everyone—you need to be loved by one person. now you just have to find a way to fix it 🥺🥺
🥺🥺🥺
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cat-soda · 11 months ago
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i fucking hate paradox live
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rylsticfm · 5 months ago
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that's all that you are.
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hothammies · 10 months ago
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my wrist being messed up when i really wanted to use some of my spring break time to draw a series of byler drawings is really fucked up and homophobic (it was acswy related).
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nobodybetterlookatme · 2 months ago
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Wait I think I missed something in this incredible saga. Are you going on a date with the coworker??? I swear the last thing I saw was “no I would never” lmaoooo. If so, I (like the rest of snzblr) are anxious for updates about your love life. You’re one of the top snzblr couples now, enjoy 🤙
I did say I would never and I was a fucking liar apparently 😔 it's not technically a date tho bc I never told him it was bc I need to be so casual and mysterious ahdkaksk but it's a date To Me lmao. It's tomorrow tho bc we're still at work rn and it doesn't look like we're leaving anytime soon so at least I have that to look forward to I guess lmao
#not snz#we're not a couple tho nooooo 😭😭 lmaooo#it's just me being delusional#like he's literally not into me i stg i think y'all are gonna be more disappointed about the outcome than me#OH but he did hug me tho so I'm riding that high rn actually ahskamsk#lowkey have just been leaning against him half the shift but we've been watching videos and stuff together bc it's been slow so#that means nothing probably#also he looks at me like 😒 every time i ask one if my stupid little debate questions ahsakslsl#today was if ceral is a soup and if ketchup is a smoothie#please know that i ask these randomly literally out of nowhere like it's a normal thing to bring up lmaoooo#i have negative flirting skills ahdkaksk#this is the opposite of pulling a bad bitch by being autistic this is making the coworker question why he puts up with me lmaoooo#but he's the one who said yes to dinner so 😌#you know what he's never seen me in a cute little outfit before actually 👀#it's always been either the work uniform or hiking clothes#which to be fair my hiking clothes are kinda cute but they're hiking clothes nonetheless#like he saw me in normal clothes a bit ago but i was actively dying so they were just the most comfortable clothes i could find#so like maybe i can wear a skirt i have cute skirts i like wearing out with my bestie#and they're like. very specific kinds of skirts so maybe that'll tell him something ahskasmks#help why am i thinking so hard about this ahdkalslal#like it's literally actually not even a date it's just me flipping out for no reason while this guy is clueless 😭#like I'm telling y'all he's not into me and i don't understand why I'm being like this about it lmaoo#I'm always like 'fuck i wish my coworkers wouldn't crush on me to the point of asking me out that's awkward i don't date coworkers'#AND THEN I TURNED AROUND AND DID IT MYSELF#why am i like this#why am i so 👀 when he's one of the few people i shouldn't be 👀 at#i swear i should give it a couple months bc maybe I'm just feeling some type of way about him bc i was sick#but noooo i just HAVE to be insane about it now 😭#i should really have a tag for me being a pathetic wreck but idk what it would even be lmao#partner posting
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ishikawayukis · 11 months ago
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🧍‍♀️
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thefloatingstone · 3 months ago
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I'm so tired of every single video on my youtube homepage being something I put on my "watch later" list like 4 years ago. When I have the energy I need to do a screen recording to show you guys how fucking bad it is.
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andi-o-geyser · 2 years ago
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Every day I wake up and my close friend and adventuring party member who I’ve been flirting with for years who also recently set off the trap that accidentally killed me while attempting to retrieve a magical suit of armour from the tomb of the goddess of death hasn’t told me in a quiet moment together that he’s known a lot of people with money and they are definitely not worth me, nor has my close friend and adventuring party member who I’ve been flirting with for years who has also recently covered for me while facing the necromantic murderers of my family at a formal dinner stood in front of my weapon while I was possessed by a demon, ready to attack her and all our friends, touched me gently on the face and told me to take of the mask before calling out my full name and telling me to fight the monster inside of me and by doing so successfully pulled me back from the brink. also, not so coincidentally, in both cases this “close friend” is my heart and judgement and the future I have chosen. I mean like why do I even try anymore
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watery-melon-baller · 6 months ago
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its so fun :)) and awesome :)) that i cannot fucking make my brain focus on my homework :))) holy shit im gonna kill someone :)) why can't my brain just work for five fucking minutes :)) this is easy homework too I just can't concentrate on it at all :)) and it's due tomorrow morning :)))
#yes I AM bitching about physics again#having a hyperfixation is stupid and awful and fucking sucks#Jesus Christ stop thinking about toh for FIVE MINUTES#and physics is like. I struggle with it. I'm slow#I need all of my brainpower to focus and problem solve but I genuinely!! Cannot!! Focus!!!#It's so insane. All comprehension skills go out the window#if I fail this class then I'm genuinely fucked like. I can't even begin to describe how screwed I am if I fail this class#Or even if I pass this class but barely understand it#and it goes so fast and i don't have anyone I can go to for help#with calc 2 I was going to the tutoring center every week!!!#but I can't do that!!! And I don't know anyone who knows physics#and it's not like I have friends in the class :))) because I'm so socially stunted it's embarrassing :))))#Jesus fucking Christ I can't function like a normal person#my brain has just been completely rotted from two years of doing nothing but bullshit art projects and now I've lost all critical thinking#im just frustrated because this isn't even the difficult part#SHE LITERALLY TOLD US WHAY TO DO IN CLASS#I JUST FUCKINH. CANNOT. FOCUS OR EVEN COMPREGEND IT#AND I WROTE DOWN EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID AND IT MADE SENSE IN CLASS#BUT NOW MY BRAIN IS ALL FUZZY AND I CANNT UNDERSTAND A WORD#AND I PROCRASTICATED ALL WEEKEND BECAUSE. I COULD NOT FUCKING FOCUS#BECAUSE OOOOHHH MAYBE ILL JUST MAGICALLY START FOCUSINH IF I WAIT LONG ENOUGH#NOPE!#FUCK ME I GUESS#THIS IS DUE TOMORROW SO I HAVE TO GET THIS DONE#ITS LIKE MY BRAIN IS SLUDGE I CAN'T THINK CLEARLY AT ALL#if i can't do well in this course then. um. i don't wanna say my life is ruined but. it fucks up so many things for me#I don't know dude I just can't wrap my head around this kind of stuff and I'm stressed#lilac post#im aware im being self pitying and this won't help me but im feeling bitchy 2nite
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quatregats · 6 months ago
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Honestly don't think I realized that Valencian music was this much of an actual genuine special interest until I got here and had to start explaining myself to people
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